STUDENTS TO GOV BOD: “NO IFS, NO BUTS, WE SAY NO TO SMUT” MORE ON PAGE 3
do you hear the people sing? est. 2010
The
Volume 5 Issue 5 17th February 2015 theheythroplion.co.uk
Lion
Two Month Late Essay Feedback Blamed On S.M.U.T. Partnership Talks • “Extra responsibilities that the work on the Strategic Partnership has brought” causes late Belief and Unbelief essay marks and feedback • Course Reps: Not acceptable to hinder the current experience of students • College claims more essays returned on time this year than last, and that staff are supported in “Unsettling Time” and with additional work Fergus Cronin-Coltsmann Editor-in-Chief Late essay feedback, which has caused complaints from students and Course Representatives, has been blamed upon “extra responsibilities that the work on the Strategic Partnership has brought”. Some students on the ST311 Belief
and Unbelief module had yet to receive their marks for their first piece of coursework as of the 5th of February, two months after it was due back and days before the next piece of coursework was due in. This prompted complaints from students, which were picked up by the Course Reps. Martin Poulsom, a lecturer on the module who had yet
to mark some students’ essays, has apologised to students who have l yet to receive essay feedback from him. In an email to the Course Reps, which was forwarded to students on the module, Poulsom explained that time he took off over the Christmas holidays and extra time commitments relating to work on the future of the College were
responsible for the late marks. In one email sent on the 19th of January, Poulsom said: “the extra responsibilities that the work on the Strategic Partnership has brought with it in these last two weeks have meant that all of the time I had set aside to do this marking has unfortunately been taken up with other things. I
wish this were not the case, but in the current circumstances of the College, it is paramount to play what part I can in the dialogue about the future, so as to be able to help the College move into that future in the best way possible”. The Course Reps for affected students said they recognised(Continued on page two)
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TUESDAY 17TH FEBRUARY | THE LION
NEWS The
Editorial Team
Editor-in-Chief Fergus Cronin Coltsmann
ferguscoltsmann@hotmail.co.uk
Managing Editor Megan Skingsley megan.skingsley@yahoo.com
Copy Editor Katt Johnson
katherine.johnson@heythropcollege. ac.uk
News Editor Vacant
ferguscoltsmann@hotmail.co.uk
Comment Editor Terence Sibley
terence.sibley@heythropcollege.ac.uk
Culture Editor Jordan Mant
jordan.mant@hotmail.com
Lion
Head Writer Robert Leftwich
robleftwich@gmail.com
The
The Lion is the independent student newspaper of Heythrop College, University of London. We distribute at least 1000 free copies during term time around campus and to popular student venues in and around Kensington. The Lion is printed by Mortons Print Ltd. No part of this publication is to be reproduced, stored on a retrieval system or submitted in any form or by any means, without the prior permission of the publisher.
NEXT DEADLINE FOR SUBMISSIONS
12th March
Please send your submissions to: ferguscoltsmann@hotmail.co.uk NEXT ISSUE RELEASE DATE
17th March
The views expressed in this publication are those of the author and not necessarily those of the Editors or of the Heythrop Students’ Union. Every effort has been made to contact the holders of copyright for any material used in this issue, and to ensure the accuracy of this fortnight’s stories.
College: Very Few Academics Currently Working In Detail On Partnership (Continued from Front Page) -the importance of the future of the College, but that it was not acceptable that it should “hinder the current experience of students”. In a further email, sent in the first week of February, Poulsom claimed that working past midnight to catch up on work had “been a feature of [his] work since the start of January”. He explained: “the number of meetings that have been added to the diary because of the debates about the future are such that many things (sadly, marking included) are being pushed off my daily schedule”. Poulsom describes the situation as “far from ideal” and claims that “the extra burdens being placed on staff at this time with regard to the future of the College are not all under control of the staff, and are leading... to important issues to do with the support of students having to be given a lower priority than I would want to give them”. The complaints of students regarding late feed back have been raised at departmental boards
and at the Undergraduate Student Staff Liaison Committee. The Lion contacted Saladin Rospigliosi, Director of Administration and Chair of TOPSE (the group dealing with the current students’ ‘teach-out’ and student experience), and Kathryn Powell, Director of Academic Policy and Student Experience. We asked if it was acceptable that students have had to wait over two months for feedback and why it had been allowed to happen, if too much pressure was being placed on staff in relation to the strategic partnership talks and if adding additional time commitments to staff was fair to them and students, how they expected students to have faith in the College to maintain their academic experience over the next two years if standards were already falling, and what they were doing to address the issue about late feedback. Powell responded, stating that this year more work has been returned to students within the usual 21 day deadline than last
year, and saying that this should give students faith in the College during the ‘teach-out’ phase. She stood by the 21 day deadline as a reasonable period of time for feedback to be given. Powell stated that staff who felt unable to return work within this time frame are offered support, as are the “very few members of academic staff... currently involved in detailed work...with the partnership”. Powell also stated: “We know that this is an unsettling time and we are working hard to address concerns when raised. It has been very touching to hear students voice their concerns for their lecturers and their support is much appreciated. TOPSE is the main vehicle for protecting the student experience and it will always welcome proposals from students for protecting or enhancing their experience. Please address any issues to Mr Saladin Rospigliosi, Chair of TOPSE and the HSU sabbatical officers, Mr Jozsa and Mr Holland, in the first instance.”
HSU Announces SU Election Time Table For 2015/16 Exec The HSU has announced the election timetable for the Heythrop Students’ Union Executive 2015/16. Nominations for the ten non-sabbatical positions within the eight offices and the two sabbatical officers will open on the 19th of February and close on the 9th of March. A hustings, where HSU members can grill the candidates after they have made a speech, will be held on the 19th of March. Voting after the hustings and close a week
later on the 26th of March. The results will be announced on the 27th of March. The eight non-sabbatical Executive Offices are Events, which has two Officers, Publicity, Campaigns, Web-Dev, Welfare, which has two officers, one male and one female, LGBTQ+, Student Activities, and Academic Affairs. In addition to these ten Officers, there are the two Sabbaticals roles, the President and Vice-President of the Union.
don’t join the exec, join the lion team! we’re much cooler!
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TUESDAY 17TH FEBRUARY | THE LION
HSU Campaign Against S.M.U.T Gets Underway With ‘Line The Pathway’ Protest The HSU’s ‘Line The Pathway’ took place on the 27th January. Around twenty students demonstrated against the proposed Heythrop-S.M.U.T. Partnership, lining in the corridor outside the extra ordinary Governing Body meeting as the Governors made their way to the meeting. The protest had been preceded by a poster and placard-making event in the HSU Common Room. Protesters expressed, among other things, dissatisfaction with the amount of information given by the College concerning the current S.M.U.T talks, as well as highlighting the difference in academic quality between St. Mary’s and Heythrop. The Principal, Father Michael Holman, came under specific fire, being depicted in cartoons on placards, one having him say “I care more about my personal beliefs than the education of students”.
Students chanted of “No ifs, not buts, we say no to SMUT” and “Save our Heythrop” as the Governing Body meeting began, before relocating to the garden to continue the protest outside the Governing Body’s meeting room. Some Governors did talk to students prior the beginning of the Governing Body meeting, one saying that no one believed the situation to be ideal but that there was little other choice. The HSU campaign against the current partnership plans is ongoing, with more protests and events scheduled. HSU President Alex Jozsa gave this statement concerning the ‘Line The Pathway’ protest to The Lion: “The demonstration that took place before the Governing Body was a powerful symbol of an engaged student body, a student body that cares about the future
NEWS
of our College. The governors reacted well and witnessed how passionate we are. I was pleased that some governors took some time to talk the students present.” We as students demonstrated how we fundamentally disagree with the current partner but also articulated simply and clearly those aspects of ‘Our Heythrop’ that need saving. I assure you the governors understand this and have much in common with us about what needs to be saved. Therefore, please do attend the governors reception which will take place [on the 17th February at 5:30pm in the Common Room]. I also invite you all to sign up to our mailing list, at www.heythrop.su/HaveYourSay to keep up to date with the latest developments of the campaign – we will continue our activism regarding this historic and crucial issue.”
Campaign Office To Remain Empty After No Nominations In By-Election
OMG, An OGM And An AGM! The Annual General Meeting (AGM) of the HSU is to take place in the Common Room on Thursday 19th of February between 1:15pm and 2:30pm, having been rescheduled as the original time on
Wednesday 18th clashed with the College Mass for Ash Wednesday. The AGM will include a report on the financial status of the Union and a report on the activities of the Union by the Sabbatical Officers.
An Ordinary General Meeting of the Union has also been announced, and is due to take place in the Common Room on Wednesday 25th March at 1.45pm.
The HSU is to remain without a Campaigns Officer for the time being. Nominations for a by-election for the position were opened on Friday 16th of January after Erin Denny stepped down from the Office, citing conflicting time commitments as the reason for her departure. The HSU received no nominations for the role by the close date of Monday 26th of January. It is understood by The Lion that the Union Executive did informally approach some individuals about fulfilling the role as a Non-Executive Officer of the Union, however, to this date no appointment has been made. The Sabbatical Officers have said
they remain open to help and involvement from students in ongoing campaigns. The lack of a Campaigns Officer should not prevent charitable activities by the Union. In the past the Office was most associated with the organising of Raising and Giving Week (RAG week), however RAG week had already been scrapped and replaced with plans for a series of RAG events earlier this year. The Exec have said that money for charity will be raised through other HSU events, such as some in the upcoming Mental Health Awareness week, scheduled for the 9th to 13th of March.
like the photos?
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TUESDAY 17TH FEBRUARY | THE LION
A Word From the Exec...
Academic Campaign For Better Feedback Jenny Moran Academic Affairs Officer The issue of inadequate feedback has been brought to my attention, so the Exec and I will be campaigning for better feedback on essays. Many people have commented to me on the lack of essay feedback, whether it is unfilled tick boxes on the cover sheet, little to no general comments that are vague and uninformative when included, lack of running comments throughout the essay, or essays not being returned on the correct date. This is an important issue, if we do not have the essay feedback we should be receiving then this could ultimately have an impact on our degree as
a whole. It is unacceptable that markers do not give excellent feedback, especially at such a vital time for the College, when the College should be protecting the student experience, rather than letting such a crucial aspect of students’ degrees slip. One issue that has been brought to my attention is the lack of consistency in the tick boxes on the cover sheet. Many students, including myself, are confused about the actual meaning of the placement of the ticks, as there seems to be no correlation between essay mark or quality of essay and the tick sheet. These also vary from module to module. This inconsistency makes
it hard to know which aspect of essays we should be improving on, and where we are picking up the marks. Many people have received essays back with no tick boxes filled in whatsoever which is also a problem as this means we have no clue as to where the quality in our essays lie. Another issue is the lack of detail in running comments. It is infuriating to receive the comment ‘good point’ with no explanation as to what makes it a good point, and may be in its relevance to the question, detail, or the way it is expressed. These are just two issues that we as students face with essay feedback, and I am hoping with your
input and comments I can try and push to resolve them. I am hoping that by campaigning about this issue the essay feedback you receive more consistent, in depth, and meaningful feedback which will ultimately help you with your degree. It can be incredibly frustrating to receive inadequate feedback, so hopefully you will have a better student experience which can improve your grades and make it more clear what lecturers actually want from your essays. I hope to start this campaign by bringing up these issues in meetings I will attend and with the appropriate members of staff, and lobby to get your issues with feedback resolved!
To do this, I need to hear your comments on the feedback you receive. I want to know what problems you have found with feedback, whether it is comments with no detail or confusing tick sheets. I want to know what you expect your feedback to be like, and what you would like to improve! After reading your comments I will compile a survey which I will send out to all students where I can find statistics which I can use when campaigning so I will have both an overview and specific comments. Please email your comments to academics@heythrop. su. I look forward to reading your comments and trying to improve your student experience.
AN INVITATION TO
MEET THE GOVERNORS TO DISCUSS THE FUTURE
Meet with members of the Governing Body to discuss the future, including a possible partnership with St. Mary’s University. This meeting is an opportunity for students to speak directly to the Governing Body and I very much hope that we can have a constructive and fruitful conversation. This meeting will take place on Tuesday 17 February 2015 at 5.30pm in the HSU Common Room (JCR). Tea and cake will be provided.
Tuesday 17 Feburary 5.30pm HSU Common Room Tea and Cake provided
- Andrew Kennedy, Chair of the Governing Body
Think the governors are a bit so-so? love the feedback “Good point”? write about it in the lion!
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TUESDAY 17TH FEBRUARY | THE LION
COMMENT
Edited by Terence Sibley | terence.sibley@heythropcollege.ac.uk
National Union of Shysters Fergus Cronin-Coltsmann Editor-in-Chief
If you’re a Heythrop Student, and if you haven’t opted out of the HSU, then you are also a member of the National Union of Students. I’m sure some of you won’t have realised that. I’m sure that some of you can’t name a single NUS sabbatical officer, or anyone from the National Executive Council (NEC) who ‘run’ the NUS, or any ongoing NUS campaign. It might therefore come as a bit of a shock to learn that you pay for all of the above. “A confederation of 600 students’ unions, amounting to more than 95% of all higher and further education unions in the UK”, NUS claims to represent over seven million students. In 2013 it had a turnover of over 17.5 million pounds, the two single largest chunks of that coming from NUS Extra card sales and the affiliation fees of SUs. So, how are the people who spend this money – the people who claim to represent you and 6,999,999 others like you - elected? Each year, around April, NUS has its national conference. It lasts for about a week and during this time there are many (oh so many) elections: one for the President of NUS, several for the VPs, one for membership of the NEC, one for Trustees, and one for the Democratic Procedures Committee. (Incidentally, this is not the only example of a shared aesthetic between NUS and the old Eastern Bloc. Nor is aesthetic the only thing they share. If you have to tell people you’re democratic/a republic – Cuba, North Korea, Congo, China – then you probably aren’t.) The conference is attended by just under a thousand delegates from the constituent Unions that make up NUS. Theoretically, these delegates are voted for in dedicated elections, but by and large they are the Presidents and Veeps of their respective SUs, with the larger Unions having some more hangers-on from their Executives. Simply put: this is an organisation which claims to represent over seven million people, and which has a turnover of nearly £18 million. Yet it is run by a group of fewer than a thousand people with a man-
date drawn from an average voter turnout – according to a study published by NUS in 2012 - of only 16%. (If we assume that all of that 1000 were elected unanimously by all of the 16% who, on average, bother to vote, 160 is around 0.0023% of seven million.) NUS policy is also decided at the National Conference, though as the process is basically rigged and its conclusions ignored I can’t say I’m particularly sorry for my lack of involvement in it. (The farcical nature of the process featured heavily in the campaign for NUS President by The Inanimate Carbon Rod. I recommend watching the speech given at the 2013 conference by the Rod’s holder, Sam Gaus. It’s rather entertaining.) I’ll expand on the point of NUS leadership ignoring ‘democratically’ determined policy later. So what does all this produce? Well, for example: this is an organisation that tried and failed to condemn Islamic State. Back in October a motion which called on students “to condemn the IS and support Kurdish forces fighting against it, while expressing no confidence or trust in the US military intervention” was proposed to the National Executive Council. One of those responsible for tabling the motion was Daniel Cooper; former University of London Union VP and failed NUS Presidential candidate. Cooper has a controversial history in student politics. He received a great deal of flak during his time at ULU, another grossly undemocratic (though in a very different way) institution dominated by fringe and extreme political groups. Most infamously, he refused to lay a wreath at the University of London Remembrance Service, stating that the service would celebrate “an economic system which created the war” and was “an insult to those sent to die, victims of the self interested advancement of the British Empire”. This time, Cooper found himself on the other side of a ‘refuse-to-be-apart-of-a-completely-reasonableand-basically-decent-thing’ situation, when NUS black students’ officer Malia Bouattia reportedly led members of the NEC against the motion. Bouattia is reported to
have said “We recognise that condemnation of ISIS appears to have become a justification for war and blatant Islamophobia.” Aaron Kiely, NEC member, former NUS black students’ officer and another failed NUS Presidential candidate, also argued against the motion, saying that Bouattia and others were “standing up against this new war”. Cooper struck back: “There is a stranglehold of ‘identity politics’ on the student movement… essentially the idea is widespread that if a liberation officer opposes something, it must be bad”. This only succeeded in alienating some of the original proponents of the motions. Clifford Fleming, NEC member, national co-chair of the Young Greens, and NOT a failed NUS Presidential candidate, said: “I find it completely inappropriate how it was claimed that identity politics has a stranglehold on the NEC. Of course identity politics has a big voice on the NUS NEC; it is for those who self-define and lead campaigns to voice who they represent.” Yes, a debate about condemning Islamic State, an organisation responsible for the displacement and deaths of tens of thousands, became an internal row over identity politics. (Though it is worth noting that NUS has, in the past, condemned UKIP, Israel, and former Higher Education Minister David Lammy with relative ease.) In November NUS came under fire for failing to partake in a student demonstration against tuition fees. The demonstration was organised by the National Campaign Against Fees and Cuts (NCAFC) and the Student Assembly Against Austerity (SAAA), two groups which make Syriza look right wing. They expected prior to the march, and reported post-march, an attendance of over 10,000 students. NCAFC and SAAA also expected the attendance of NUS, however this proved to be naïve of them. Despite the fact that at the last National Conference delegates passed a motion committing NUS to fighting for free education, the NUS pulled out at the last minute, citing access issues for disabled students and a lack of public liability insurance. The NCAFC and
SAAA hadn’t filled out their paperwork properly, which is apparently a big deal to the NUS. Either that or they were looking for an excuse to not take part and decided to hide behind a legitimate point (that things, in general, should be accessible to people with disabilities) as a reason for absence. Worse still is when NUS manage to get something right, only to spin it into bullshit. For example: In January NUS published the results from a survey about Sex and Relationship education. They ran a piece on the news section of their website with the following title: “Students turn to porn to fill the gaps in their sex education.” The piece goes on to claim that: “60 per cent of students use porn to find out more about sex. 40 per cent cited porn as helping their understanding about sex, but overall almost three quarters agreed it provided unrealistic expectations”. A position that their data would seem to support, if you ignore the inconvenient responses to the survey, such as the fact that only 3% said that they relied upon porn more than any other source of sexual and relationship education, and that only 29% said that porn was a source from which they found out about sex and relationships in the first place. That last bit sounds like it contradicts the earlier claim that “60 per cent of students use porn to find out more about sex”, and it does. Presumably this is because of how they were asked. When asked “Which of the following sources did you find out about sex and relationships?”, only 29% said pornography when the other options listed were, among other things, friends, sex ed. in school, family, sexual partners and magazines; all of which were more commonly cited as sources than pornography. A follow-up question, in a section of the survey specifically about pornography, reads as follows: “Thinking about the porn you have viewed online how far would you agree or disagree… I watched it because I was curious and wanted to find out more about sex.” 14% strongly agreed and 46% agreed. This spin and number smudging is particularly frustrating because the survey actually has a lot of pretty
damning responses. The NHS and other online sources were ranked below porn as a source people used to find out about sex and relationships. Only 32% rated the sex and relationship advice they received in school as being good or excellent. A mere 16% said that LGBT+ specific content was covered in their school’s sex ed. classes - ‘sex is when a man and a women love each other very much a share a special kind of hug’ - and only 38% said consent was covered. But it seems that the NUS had decided in advance what they wanted to write about, and so cherry picked their facts. It wouldn’t be fair of me to go on all this time and not talk about NUS’ current president, Toni Pearce. After all, she is the manifest essence of the problems with NUS. Pearce is currently in her second term as NUS President. You’ve been paying her wages for the last four years, as VP for Further Education for two years prior to her stint as President. She is the person ultimately responsible for spending your money; the person at the head of an organisation which claims to represent you and seven million other students; the person who acts on your behalf, based on a mandate you have supposedly (though almost certainly have not) given her. And she has never been to university. She hasn’t been a student – of any sort – at any time in the last six years; six of the most tumultuous years for Higher Education in this country’s modern history. She heads a ‘National Union of Students’ that students, by and large, are not involved in and are not represented by. A Union that cannot even bring itself to condemn a group as barbaric as ISIS, because its members are too caught up with internal politicking to do a decent thing. Its leaders cheat; they ignore even those few people who bother to vote for them, and they spin good numbers into pointless conclusions to suit whatever faux radical position takes their fancy at the time. They serve no obvious purpose except to further their own interests, and they do it all in your name. They do it all with your money.
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TUESDAY 17TH FEBRUARY | THE LION
COMMENT
The Last Of Us Rhiannon Jones Hopkins First Year Undergraduate
We are now all aware that there will be no more undergraduates taken in next year, or for the foreseeable future. This is a hard pill to swallow, but swallow it we must, either dry like grown ups, or with a can of diet coke and a moan. For all our badly attended protests and upcoming study-in sessions, the truth of the matter is that my fellow first years are the last lot of Freshers we will see, in all likelihood, until we graduate and a begrudging partnership with St. Mary’s look more and more inevitable. The reality of what this means is slowly sinking in, and what fresh horrors await us in the coming months and years whilst we remain Heythropians at heart, dis-
placed and disjointed, we still can’t possibly comprehend. There will be no new blood, no new faces, no new friends to be made, and you can pretty much forget societies existing in any functioning capacity. It is already almost impossible to get more than twenty weary hearted people to attend anything they aren’t committed to and I don’t think it can be blamed on the union or the students. It is just a feeling in the air that is seeping into our collective conscious, a fullstudent-body apathy. I encourage you all to take a long hard look at the people around you in your lecture halls and in the canteen, because these are your people for the next three years. I must admit, it is actually quite painful, as a student and Fresher to admit that Heythrop is essentially a dying institution. When we arrived, not
quite rosy cheeked and naïve, but with a sense of adventure and frivolity, it was all too easy to assume that next year, we would be the ones holding back Freshers’ hair whilst they threw up Tesco Value Vodka into bins, and we would be able to engage with new people with new ideas. That Heythrop had another 400 years to look forward to. However there is a tangible feeling in the air and amongst the students that we have arrived and are seeing Heythrop past its best. It’s akin to watching Elvis when he was a bloated sequinned caricature of himself in the late sixties as opposed to the snake hipped, silver tongued music sensation he was in his earlier days. Heythrop feels long past its heyday. However, February, freezing and grey, doesn’t exactly conjure images of carefree frolicking in Kensington
Gardens. So forgive the pessimism that is creeping in with the cold. This doesn’t have to be the Heythropalypse. My optimistic side, full on the highs of re-watching the Breakfast Club, is convinced that all of this adversity should and will bring us closer together and that our lack of options will force us to explore our current social landscapes with new appetites. We will seize the day and make the most of what we have here. Our small scrappy college whose beautiful eccentricities far outnumber its shortcomings, will bring out in us a sense of unity and togetherness. Maybe I have watched The Dead Poets Society too many times, but I think we must see the changes on the horizon as a challenge. If things are going to change, let’s shake things up and make an impact. If we are
Say Yes To Partnership! Natasa Kovacevic First Year Undergraduate
When I first heard about the potential partnership with St. Mary’s I must admit I was eager to know what our other options were (as every other student). However, with much thought and the realisation that St. Mary’s is our only hope, it occurred to me that time is precious and that we may not have an alternative. The truth of the matter is: We either form a partnership or we face closure. Therefore, I am not writ-
ing this to provide any facts or statistic about the potential partnership, because we already have all of this, but to help students understand the reality of this situation. Is St. Mary’s our best option? Admittedly there are far better Universities that we could partner up with, but realistically, St. Mary’s is our ONLY choice. So, surely any partnership is better that not existing at all? Surely we should be supporting this partnership rather than going against it. Why? Well because this partnership is the most beneficial decision for Heyth-
Homelessness
Katie Milne Second Year Undergraduate
Homelessness is an issue that we encounter every day. You can’t take the short walk from Heythrop to High Street Kensington Station without passing at least one homeless person. For us it simply instigates a pang of sympathy, and occasionally a donation of change or food. But for them it is a way of life that they must endure every single day. Especially in the harsh winter, this endurance is put to the test, as the lives of everyone who is forced to live on the streets as a result of unfortunate circumstances are under threat. Only a few months ago, a homeless man, Pawel Koseda, was found impaled on a fence railing in Kensington Church Walk, the fence having been a recent fixture designed to
discourage homeless people from sleeping in the park it surrounded. A bench in the park was Pawel’s favoured place to sleep, possibly because he was unlikely to be bothered by the Police - a bitter irony, as it took several hours for his body to be discovered due to it’s positioning. I’m sure this irony was not lost on Pawel as he spent his last moments dying on the fence after having lived on the streets for around a year, a tragic death which could easily have been prevented. It is easy to presume that homelessness couldn’t happen to ‘just anyone’, and that you have to do or be involved in something that is the cause of such a predicament. However it is surprising to realise that homelessness is much more often a case of misfortune than bad personal choices; lose your job and with no family to keep a roof over your head it is easy to be kicked
the last players on the field, let’s play to win. Let’s not admit defeat, and whatever influence we have, let’s make our opinions known and our voices heard. I think we should make sure that as the last lot of undergraduates, we don’t sing a sad swan song and leave quietly into the night, that instead we tear through the halls, our egos unchecked and make some memories that are worth re-telling in years to come. To quote Andy from The Office US “I wish there was a way to know that you’re in ‘The Good Old days’ before you’ve actually left them”. Well I think we are all probably living our good old days right now. So for god’s sake, let’s show up to stuff and make the most of what we have. It could be a lot worse. We could be at St. Mary’s.
rop. As a College of the University of London Heythrop has a history of successful graduates who have contributed to its growth. For that reason it is my belief that Heythrop should have a longer future, and one that should not be obliterated because of financial needs. I see a brighter future for Heythrop with this partnership, and although I am only a first year student, I think that we should all (as students) give something back to Heythrop, that being our support in encouraging this partnership instead of watching Heythrop perish.
It saddens me that many students who oppose this partnership tend to give the answer: “I don’t like St. Mary’s”. That is understandable, but ultimately, it will not be the current students studying at Heythrop who will be affected by this change. Shouldn’t we help support the next generation in receiving the opportunity to study the courses that we are currently studying? Why let 400 successful years of Heythrop’s history go to waste? The biggest issue here seems to be the fear of change. Change could be exactly what Heythrop needs.
What I simply fail to comprehend, is why students are failing to admit that St. Mary’s is all that we have at a limited time like this. So I am writing this in the hope that many of you who are opposing this partnership realise that Heythrop will gain a tremendous amount from this partnership. So let’s do the right thing and give Heythrop the future that it deserves because our voice counts! The fact that we even have a University that is willing to partner up with us suggests a future for Heythrop. Let’s make the most of this opportunity!
out of your accommodation and find yourself living on the street. Only then do you discover how difficult it is to find a job when you have no clean clothes and no way to wash yourself: nigh on impossible. There are of course homeless shelters, but they don’t have nearly enough room or supplies to help everyone. Especially in London where you see a homeless person on every other street corner. As they rely on donations for the most part, homeless people are often turned away or not given the supplies they need to start to rebuild their lives. Women on the street are left even without the dignity of sanitary products, as they are not given out for free at pharmacies and people usually do not have the presence of mind to donate them to homeless shelters. So what can we do to resolve this problem? The ‘homeless spikes’
being planted all over the world don’t seem like a permanent solution, all they are doing in their bid to stop the homeless sleeping in public places is causing them more discomfort. If homeless shelters can’t help everyone then what can? In the USA, ‘tiny-house villages’ are popping up, which seem to be doing quite well in reducing the volume of people sleeping on the street. They are entirely run by homeless people who want to create a joint effort to help each other, in ‘Dignity Village’ in Portland, potential residents have to put in volunteer hours towards their residency before they move in, gardening, building, and running errands for the existing residents. This particular village provides semi-permanent sleeping quarters for over 40 people, with shared kitchen and bathroom facilities. This seems like an inspired
way to allow the unfortunate to rebuild their lives within a community, find jobs and move on with their lives; however due to space requirements it is not a viable solution in cities like London, where homelessness is most prevalent. It seems like the only way to create major change would be a restructure of the current political system in place to help people living on the streets. Helping the homeless doesn’t just mean tossing a few pence into their change pot, or buying them a burger from McDonald’s. It means doing your research, and when the chance comes to change things at the next general election in May, thinking carefully about the way each party will impact the thousands of people experiencing living hell on the streets.
7
TUESDAY 17TH FEBRUARY | THE LION
2015 - A Year Of Growing Transgender Visibility?
Anonymous
Society in the Western world is changing massively in its attitudes toward LGBTQ rights. Even within the last two or three years issues such as same-sex marriage and gay adoption dominated headlines, and debates in both courtrooms and workplaces. But for many the movement towards greater freedom over sexuality and the acceptance of a spectrum of orientation has notably lacked the T of LGBT, and lacked the voice and the presence of the transgender community. Apart from the occasional shock headline in gossip magazines or the not-exactlybroadsheet-material publications, the everyday struggle for acceptance, visibility and celebration of transgender individuals has largely gone ignored, or has been found
too taboo to be talked about. But the last year or so it does seem like a shift has occurred, as gender binaries have been explored and more understood, with academics, scientists, psychologists and anthropologists entering into greater dialogue about the social and performative roles of gender. 2014 felt to be a major turning point for transgender visibility, especially within the influential area of television and the media, with Laverne Cox leading the pack in her role in Orange is the New Black, and featuring on the front of Time magazine in June, Janet Mock as a transgender woman of colour attempting to educate Piers Morgan on his chat show, as well as the mini-series Transparent released on Amazon which follows a parent as she transitions from being Mortimer to Maura. There was
even a transgender clone on Orphan Black, and the characters of Unique and Coach Beiste on Glee. The growing discussions around issues which affect the transgender community; and the growing representation within the media can only be a good thing, helping to educate and inform people, whether they themselves identify as transgender or know someone who is. The changes to Facebook to allow for greater choice of gender identifications and gender neutral pronouns was viewed to be a step towards greater acceptance, and are to be followed by Google+, enabling social media to become a space which may be able to give greater validation to transgender individuals. The growing visibility of transgender people within the media serves to create important role models for others, especially
Fifty Shades Of Grey Lucy Lu Whitby Second Year Undergraduate
50 Shades of Grey has been positive in certain respects for helping introduce BDSM into mainstream culture, as well as promoting a new understanding of female sexuality. The book is not a book about abuse, but is written as a romance and erotic fiction novel purely to create fantasy. The relationship in the book is not what I would view as a healthy relationship but I can respect the fact that it is a love story: the generic message of overcoming the flaws of another person due to the love you share, and that most relationships in general are not sunshine, lollipops and rainbows, but face a fair share of hardship. My major beef with 50 Shades of Grey is one that many people share: the portrayed BDSM relationship, as well as the relationship as a whole, is not a healthy one, nor is an accurate representation of what a healthy BDSM relationship requires, the example it sets is dangerous to society. BDSM as a title encompasses a number of erotic acts which related to several key ideas; bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. A good and effective BDSM relationship involves effective communication between both parties that is comfortable and supportive, discussing limits and boundaries including safe words to distinguish when a party is uncomfortable or in true pain, and aftercare, which helps to create intimacy and affection. All of
these elements are important, but most important is trust and consent. All of this helps to create a safe environment in which all parties feel respected, comfortable, and satisfied. Within 50 Shades of Grey, the relationship, both romantic and sexual, is all centred on the satisfaction of one party: Christian Grey. Anastasia ‘Ana’ Steele is a sexually inexperienced person who, while intrigued, generally finds BDSM to be frightening. While there is discussion between them, Christian is overall only concerned with himself, at one point asking Ana to simply embrace her hurt feelings in order to please him after she informs him that their activities left her feeling abused. Christian’s defence is that if she didn’t call out their safe word he is not responsible for her feelings, before going on to explain how much he is looking forward to hurting her again, that she simply isn’t doing it right and telling her that he can track her anywhere, no matter where she runs. This focus on only one party does not create a healthy BDSM relationship, particularly if only one is deriving real satisfaction. In BDSM it is of utmost importance that both partners feel happy and comfortable in order to create a satisfying and affectionate relationship. Christian Grey within his and Ana’s entire relationship, sexual or otherwise, is always in a higher position of power; he is aware Ana finds him attractive, aware that she is intimidated, and soon aware of her sexual inexperience. Christian does not relinquish this control at all within their relationship; he tells her what foods she can eat,
insists that she only call him Mr Grey or Sir outside of, and even before, their sexual relationship, and keeps constant tabs on her whereabouts. This is all coupled with the fact that he repeatedly insists that she is his property and that her purpose is to bring him happiness by letting him inflict as much pain on her as he sees fit, and that doing anything he dislikes is ‘defying him’. It is this extreme imbalance that makes their relationship unhealthy; a dominant and submissive relationship is built on the consent wherein both participants agree to a power imbalance that can be revoked at any time. Within their contract, Christian stipulates that Ana may request her release, but he must be the one that agrees to this. Outside of their sexual relationship Christian wishes for Ana to remain completely submissive to him. At one point Christian even gives the definition of a submissive to Ana, stating that she must be compliant and passive. These are not requisites of a BDSM relationship, this describes a submissive personality; one’s preferences within sexual relations does necessarily not describe their personality, nor should someone insist that it is the role they adopt at all times within a relationship. A submissive should always have the option to withdraw from the activity. In true BDSM, the Dominant only has power over the submissive because the sub willingly gives that to the Dom momentarily, not because the Dom takes it. Another element that should be discussed is the fear that exists almost permanently in this book. While Ana is intrigued and finds
COMMENT
those who are isolated or vulnerable as a result of their identity. But there is still a lot of work to be done, and no-one would deny that. The shocking statistical fact is that around 48% of transgender people under the age of 26 have attempted suicide, feeling rejected, judged or alone, and many also use self-harm as a way of coping with their emotions and situations. The social expectations of gender roles remain strong, often reinforced by parents or other adults, who insist that boys can’t wear dresses or wear makeup, but that girls must do so. The need for society to be able to ‘read’ someone’s gender, to be able to label them male or female is still prevalent, making life challenging for those who do not identify as their assigned birth gender, or those who feel themselves to be non-binary, or genderfluid. The
growing movement towards unisex bathrooms in places of education and work is a step towards making transgender individuals feel more comfortable, but so long as the deeper psychological needs of transgender youth are sidelined, so long as a culture of persecution continues, it is likely that there will be more suicides and more murders, more unnecessary loss of life such as that of Leelah Alcorn and Lamia Beard. The movement for transgender visibility is growing, but it needs be a part of, and contribute to, the support and nurture which the LGB movement has fought for, in a society that is not always tolerant of difference. Here’s to 2015 as a year of change.
Christian attractive, she always finds him intimidating. Within the book she is always the one who slips up, who displeases him, and Christian lashes out at her. Christian does not respect her boundaries and acts incredibly possessive over somebody that he barely knows. This includes, but is not limited to, getting angry that she wishes to speak to other people, tracking her via her mobile, pushing himself on her despite her protests as well as repeatedly insisting that she sign a contract that she does not feel comfortable with. Christian also for the most part expresses no tenderness towards her, a person with no sexual experience, and repeatedly emotionally manipulates her by pushing her away and treating her badly only to then pull her back in, almost ensuring that Ana experiences volatile feeling towards him. All of this emotional back and forth creates an unstable environment within their relationship which does not lend itself to the delicacy of a BDSM relationship. Even within their sexual relationship, while Ana does express sexual satisfaction, it is nearly always coupled with fear: fear of being hurt, fear of upsetting him, and most importantly fear that Christian wants to really hurt her. My worry is that those who see this portrayal of a BDSM relationship will incorrectly think this is what BDSM is, given that many people immediately think of the most extreme niches at first thought, and secondly the effect that it will have on people’s attitudes towards each other within a BDSM relationship. Women being submissive in a sexual relationship is not the is-
sue, nor desiring or fantasising of an enigmatic individual, both are perfectly acceptable; but the social implications that this popularization of a dangerous relationship can and may bring is of paramount concern. I am truly worried that people will believe that this is an appropriate way to act, and an appropriate way to treat their partners and that women will be allow themselves to be put in a potentially abusive situation due to the glamorization of what is a damaged and unhealthy relationship. While this may seem extreme and easily scoffed at, we already live in a society that values aggression and dominance in men, a society that has viewed and still does view women as subservient, passive and compliant, a world which has only in the past twenty years has passed laws in our Western World, in this case America, that protect women against violence within relationships, and a world which is leaving vulnerable people unprotected from abuse. 50 Shades of Grey is just fantasy, it is not to blame for domestic violence, but the way in which it has been marketed as something that women want and not properly as a piece of fiction that is depicting an incorrect BDSM relationship only serves the typical understanding that women need to be subservient, taken care of and punished to keep in-line, as well as giving misleading information of what creates a healthy BDSM relationships. BDSM involves compromise and trust more than most other relationships, as well as respect and control, all of which are scarcely seen in this work of fiction.
8
TUESDAY 17TH FEBRUARY | THE LION
COMMENT
Good Luck Goodluck
Oscar Yuill Comment Correspondent
Possessing as I do a rather questionable sense of direction, I thought I’d require the use of my iPhone to find the Nigerian Lives Matter (NLM) march near Embankment. But the wafting shouts of four hundred righteously indignant protestors accurately and more inspiringly led me to the Nigerian High Commission on Northumberland St. A barricade had been erected on the opposite side of the road, in the middle of which was a throng of television cameras, journalists and photographers. I was swiftly handed a small laminate card reading ‘Nigerian Lives Matter’ on one side and ‘Solidarity, Unity, Love’ on the other, and managed to find a place to stand among the placards and cries and competing megaphones. ‘All lives matter!’, ‘Up, up Niger, down, down terror!’ and ‘Bring back our girls!’ were among the messages they had for the Nigerian embassy, its government, its people and, chiefly, its tormentors, Boko Haram (‘Western education is forbidden’). Founded in 2002 by Muham-
mad Yusuf—now led by Abubakar Shakau after the former’s death by public execution at the hands of the Nigerian Security Force during the 2009 uprising—Boko Haram have in the last year alone killed 11,000 men, women and children in a string of massacres, burnings, beheadings and tortures. Among there crimes are the kidnapping of 276 schoolgirls from the village of Chibok, the slaughter of dozens of schoolboys in Potiskum and numerous suicide bombings (new to Nigeria), some involving strapping bombs to unsuspecting children. Boko Haram’s declared aim is to oppose the Westernisation of Nigeria. If this was ever their sole motive and concern, they are now nothing more than a mob of nihilistic, degenerate, totalitarian filth. Thanks to the incompetence of Nigeria’s president, the aptly-named Goodluck Jonathan, they continue to roam vast swathes of Nigeria— in particular the state of Borno and now even neighbouring Cameroon—in roughly six self-sufficient platoons that threaten to dismantle Nigeria’s economy, territories and national borders. Millions have been displaced. It is confusing and indefensible that our Western governments
have shown so little moral courage, consistency and solidarity about this issue. Whenever a sound case for humanitarian intervention is established, there are, and always have been, those snivelling, implicitly apologetic sort, who say that ‘it’s none of our business’ or ‘let them handle it themselves’. The fact that 40 percent of Nigeria’s expenditure goes to funding their apparently useless and reportedly demoralised army might once have allowed them to handle it themselves. As one of today’s speakers pointed out, it is the Nigerian government and the Nigerian people that must ultimately and finally address this most odious threat to their national security— regardless of whether our governments decide (and they should) to at least offer military assistance or increased political pressure. And, I assure you, with 75 percent of Nigeria’s population under the age of thirty-five, it is a matter of national security (potentially international). Like all Islamofascist regimes who seek to impose a Muslim caliphate with Sharia Law, one may be certain that Boko Haram have a replacement education awaiting the young and impressionable that even the most bleat-
ing relativist will find distasteful. Indeed, Saudi Arabia, which is almost single-handedly responsible for the education and ideology of ISIS, are just beginning to realise their mistakes in this area. It is not ISIS, who, in a delicious show of irony, have just released plans for a gigantic wall to keep their monstrous brainchild out. I felt both privileged and out-ofplace among CNN, armed police officers and professional journalists (my longhand must have been an insufferable sight). But I did eventually manage to secure an interview with NLM’s founder, the twenty-nine year old Akinola Davies. ‘When did you establish Nigerian Lives Matter?’ I asked. ‘A week and a half ago,’ he said. Now there is democracy. ‘Has the embassy shown any sign of solidarity?’ I said. He explained that the embassy had thus far merely requested a letter outlining everybody’s concerns. I do hope they realise that our concerns today were not confined to Northumberland St., London, 11am Greenwich Mean Time. That our efforts help elicit what would be the Nigerian government’s first official and sustained condemnation of Boko Haram. That our ef-
forts reveal the hypocrisy and audacity of world leaders—most of all Goodluck himself—who would observe silence in Paris and stay silent about the rape and murder of the Nigerian people. ‘What is the future of NLM?’ I asked him finally (I believe CNN were beginning to lose their patience with me). He looked sincere and grave and said (paraphrasing): “More marches. Talks with community leaders. Letters. Anything we can do”. We shook hands before he was dragged away to yet another interview, and I wrote in my notebook: ‘Knock heads together.’ With that, I took a walk around Trafalgar Square and pondered what those four lions meant in 2015, and gave a cynical smile to Death, who was floating in front of the National Gallery collecting money. I then retired to a pleasant pub just off Regent St., and tried in earnest to say something measured and helpful about it all. I sincerely hope the Nigerian government tries the same, and that our own governments show some backbone.
“Je Suis Charlie”. But just how far this protest to protect freedom of speech and of the press, reaches is debatable. Far too often, conversations about freedom of speech in the West have been centred around hate speech, and it is my fear that the Je Suis Charlie movement, in its effort to bring justice and meaning to the terrible loss of so many, protects and validates those who use freedom of speech as an excuse to voice hateful view without criticism. Charlie Hebdo is, after all, a magazine notorious for its racist, Islamophobic and misogynistic content. One such issue portrayed the black Minister of Justice for France, Christiane Taubra, as a monkey, another depicting the victims of attacks by the Boko Haram who have fled to France as welfare thieves. Numerous other publications are seen printing racist and homophobic slurs on the front cover. The most recent issue features a cartoon of the prophet Muhammad bearing a Je Suis Charlie sign, the depiction of which being forbidden and highly blasphemous in Islam. Without a doubt Charlie Hebdo’s content is inexcusable and offensive to an unbelievable degree, so
why are so many people prepared to stand in solidarity with this highly offensive and oppressive magazine? Of course, they say, it is for free speech. Charlie Hebdo should be allowed to print whatever it desires. To a certain extent, I don’t disagree. Freedom of speech and of the press is vital are human rights, but for Je Suis Charlie this only seems to work one way. Whilst many protestors supported Charlie Hebdo’s right to publish offensive material, few expressed outrage at a French mayor’s ban on the screening of “Timbuktu”, the Oscar nominated drama film on the Jihadist intrusion on the way of life in Mali, his reasoning being that it makes “an apology for terrorism”. Again, no one spoke out at the arrest of French comedian Dieudonne after he expressed controversial opinions about the attack. Few defended his freedom of speech, however divisive; in the same way they protected Charlie Hebdo’s right to publish racist content. Whilst many celebrities were lauded for expressing support of Je Suis Charlie and bearing signs with the phrase, few news outlets reported the rapper Common’s mes-
sage of solidarity with black people after the deaths of so many black men at the hands of police officers. Je Suis Charlie is a movement that claims to preserve free speech, but this free speech only seems to reach as far as what the supporters are comfortable with instead of being as all-encompassing as it presents itself to be. Where they argue a magazine should be able to publish whatever content they want, however offensive, they fall silent when it comes to the ways this content perpetuates the problems Muslim, Jewish and black communities face. When it comes to criticism of the Je Suis Charlie movement, supporters dismiss it as criticism of free speech, instead of a discussion on the limitations and pitfalls of the movement itself. In itself, a movement for the preservation of free speech is not a bad thing, but the association of Charlie Hebdo as a beacon of free speech that should be protected holds too many flaws. Charlie Hebdo’s racist and Islamophobic depictions do not exist in a vacuum; they contribute to and validate a social system that oppresses Muslims and Jewish people, among other groups. In supporting Charlie Hebdo you
are supporting oppression, and in a time where Islamophobia, racism and anti-Semitism are on the rise in Europe this should terrify every supporter of Je Suis Charlie. Publication on the grounds of free speech does not grant Charlie Hebdo immunity from criticism. Criticism is not censorship. Charlie Hebdo is not a glimpse into a utopia of free speech, at its very core satire should not continue to exploit or demonise the already oppressed, but challenge systems in place that allow this oppression. Je Suis Charlie is an example of a movement that only seeks to benefit those who already benefit from a biased system, and criticism of this from oppressed groups is considered censorship, not free speech. I stand with the families of the victims of this brutal attack who have gone through a loss I cannot imagine. But I do not stand with the magazine and what it represents. I support the victims and their families, in particular Ahmed Merabet, the Muslim police officer who died to protect Charlie Hebdo’s right to publish content that insulted his religion and culture.
Je Ne Suis Pas Charlie: I Cannot Stand With Charlie Hebdo Niamh Abberton Second Year Undergraduate
Something about the Je Suis Charlie movement has made my skin crawl from the moment it hit the headlines. Aside from its name bearing a suspicious likeness to the “#IAmMikeBrown” hashtag used in support of bringing justice to Mike Brown, the black teenager in the United States unlawfully killed by a police officer in August, I found it difficult to understand why people would proudly stand by a magazine notorious for its racist and prejudiced content. How it could possibly be the face of the movement to preserve freedom of speech, I could not understand. The Je Suis Charlie movement, of course, comes after the tragic attack on the headquarters of the French satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo. Twelve people were killed and many others injured at the hands of Islamic terrorists in protest of Charlie Hebdo’s often Islamophobic content. In support of the magazine and their right to free speech, protests were held all over the world proclaiming the message
TUESDAY 17TH FEBRUARY | THE LION
9
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10
TUESDAY 17TH FEBRUARY | THE LION
Culture
edited by jordan mant
Discover London! Jordan Mant
long as you want and their staff
The Ruling Class
left locked up and unused for
Feb and you can only view it as
Culture Editior
are always on hand to teach
Trafalgar Studios
50 years has now been trans-
part of the tour of the House of
you how to play the games and
An extremely popular show
formed into one of the strang-
Lords.
est yet wonderfully unique
Arch 1
Chinese New Year Celebrations!
also advise you on which game to play next. You can also grab
onstage in London right now is The Ruling Class, starring
The Chinese Year of the Sheep
yourself a soft or alcoholic
begins on Thursday 19th
beverage along with a sandwich
February and London shall be
or chocolate brownie.
bringing in the New Year with
Take a look at the full collec-
comedy from 1972 is selling out
tion of board games available
tickets ridiculously quickly, so
plenty of celebrations. Most of which will actually take place the weekend afterwards, mainly on Sunday 22nd Feb. Head to London’s Chinatown to soak up
at draughtslondon.com Chinese Late Horniman Musuem,
the atmosphere. There will be a
Forest Hill
spectacular parade along with
The Chinese New Year celebra-
dragon dancers weaving their
tions continue on Thursday
way through the streets, all
26th February at the Horni-
kicking off from 10am. There
man Museum & Gardens. The
will also be plenty of decora-
website for the event states,
tions and you should also check
‘Celebrate the Year of the Sheep
out the many restaurants, bars,
with a contemporary twist and
cafes, shops and food stalls
discover how Chinese culture
which Chinatown has on offer
has inspired artists around the
as well.
world. The Horniman presents
Draughts -
a night of cutting-edge art
The Board Game Cafe
installations, films and perfor-
Hackney
mances showcasing modern
Don’t you just hate it when you go to your local Costa (other coffee shops are, of course, available) but you have to take your own chess board with you due to their failure in providing one. Well, be disappointed no more. A partially Kickstarterfunded board game café in Hackney has got you covered! Chess is only the beginning for this venue as they boast a catalogue of 500 games and counting, from the classics such as Scrabble and Monopoly
Chinese culture in the UK today.’ The schedule for this over 18’s event is packed with something for everyone. From an artwork installation that is invisible to the naked eye that
Filth and X-Men actor James McAvoy. This first ever West End revival of this classic cult
you should try and get to see it before its four month stint comes to end on the 11th April. ‘Jack, a possible paranoid schizophrenic with a Messiah complex, inherits the title of the 14th Earl of Gurney after his father passes away in a bizarre accident. Singularly
the former toilet attendant’s office is now a kitchen. You can grab an espresso for £2.20 and there is also a selection of sandwiches and snacks on offer too. This may sound rather odd but I am certainly adding this weirdly wonderful feature of our beloved city onto my to-do
at the weekly G&B comedy night which takes place every Thursday evening. The venue is smaller than Heythrop’s Common Room but is complete with a bar and provides a great atmosphere for a night of stand-up comedy. The MC gives out an award to the most enthusiastic audience member and also enjoys plenty of banly if you show up five minutes
heading to the-attendant.com
late (trust me, I am speaking
a ruthless power struggle as
ter with the audience, especial-
as a person who showed up
his scheming family strives
The Magna Carta
to uphold its reputation.’ The
House of Lords
great news is that you can get
To celebrate the 800th an-
The comedy consists of a great
your hands on £15 Monday
niversary of the Magna Carta,
line-up of comics who are just
tickets for the show which go
you can currently view the
starting out, as well as many
on sale at 10am on the 2nd of
four remaining copies of the
who have been on the circuit
each month.
document as part of a tour
for a while. You should also
Head to trafalgartransformed.
of the Houses of Parliament.
check out the various gigs, film
com/whats-on/the-ruling-
The exhibition is installed in
showings, late night jazz jams
class for more info
the Queen’s Robing Room
and an acoustic open mic night.
fuses a Chinese Tea Ceremony with traditional Chinese mu-
Court Road
sic. There will also be dance
This is by far one of the quirki-
performances, various displays
est things that I have heard
and street food on offer on the
about in London. So basically,
Conservatory Terrace. They
a café owner has taken one of
have cocktail bars too.
the old Victorian toilets that
ac.uk/visit/events/Chinese-late
transformed into benches and
of Heythrop alumni perform
Take a look for yourself by
Goodge Street/Tottenham
£5 to enter but you can stay as
oughly sterilised) have been
timate venue to see a member
finds himself at the centre of
Central London
booked online at horniman.
(don’t worry they’ve been thor-
We recently attended this in-
echelons of elite society, Jack
view, to a performance which
yet to discover. The café costs
has to offer. The former urinals
West Ham
list.
The Attendant Cafe
Tickets cost £5 and can be
London (and probably the UK)
unsuited to a life in the upper
you requires a UV torch to
to board games you’re probably
espresso and food bars that
you may have spotted around town and has transformed it into a café. The loo which was
and examines the relationship between the Magna Carta and Parliament. Key iconic docu-
five minutes late and had to take a seat on the front row…)
Find a full schedule of events at arch1.co.uk
ments including the Petition of Right (1628), the Habeas Corpus Act (1679), the Bill of Rights (1689), the Great Reform Act (1832) and the Human Rights Act (1998) and a facsimile copy of the Salisbury Magna Carta are all available to see. The document is only on display from 9th till the 26th
Something going on in London that your fellow Heythroppers should know about? Tell us and we’ll (maybe) print it in our next issue!
11
TUESDAY 17TH FEBRUARY | THE LION
Literature: Grokking A Wrongness ters, from a meeting with the
speeches, and often treats his
partly her fault” are not made
to her later battle with alcohol-
Comment Correspondent
Secretary General (head of the
characters as puppets in order
any more acceptable because
ism.
Stranger in a Strange Land
United Nations which, in this
to put his own views across.
they are spoken by a woman,
Like the fictional church from
world, could easily be a precur-
This is tempered by the knowl-
even one as ostensibly powerful
which it is derived, the Church
sor to one of the superstates in
edge, or rather the hope, that
and independent and impor-
of All Worlds involves its mem-
Orwell’s 1984) in which they
his characters cannot always
tant to the story as Jill, Mike’s
bers in water rituals (water
must defend Michael’s claim
be presenting his own views
first protector, teacher, and the
being of particular significance
to sovereignty over the planet
as the overarching morals of
first of his many lovers. Jill is
to the Martians) and poly-
Mars, to a visit to the Foster-
Stranger are very different
also implicitly homophobic,
amory. And, like its fictional
ite Church, via damaging and
to those in his other books.
which is a subject on which
counterpart, its theology does
destructive encounters with the
Nevertheless, it is often the
the book otherwise makes no
not and cannot address the
police.
case that his characters have no
mention.
bizarre ‘realisation’ - made by
But one can detect the first
characteristics or personalities
(Again, Heinlein’s position can-
Mike in one of the book’s most
hints of nonsense very early on.
of their own; rather, they are
not always be derived from the
egregiously pseudo-prophetic
When his friends are accosted
extensions of a single narrator.
character’s opinion. One can
passages - that all religions are
by the police, Michael makes
(The closest modern equivalent
see from his letters that he was
wrong and all faiths are right.
them ‘disappear’, an abil-
is Aaron Sorkin, creator of The
not strictly straight, and his
Their vague devotion to the
ity he will reuse several times
West Wing and the deservedly
comments on homosexuality
‘Old Ones’, who can be made
throughout the novel. Guns
maligned The Newsroom.) Har-
are almost uniformly accept-
to exist in the book (in another
are a “great wrongness,” but
shaw, for all one might find him
ing of it. His criticisms of the
of its more childish scenes) but
making your enemies disappear
agreeable, is seldom anything
gay rights movement mirror
not in reality, shows us little
is not a problem. Disappearing
but a vehicle.
those of Mary Renault, whose
except what we already know:
a policeman is, I would argue,
His lifestyle, too, cannot be
novels The Charioteer and The
that New Age spirituality is not
not worthy of much praise.
relativised out of trouble, es-
Alexander Trilogy are amongst
particularly new or revolution-
Disappearing a priest for his
pecially as Heinlein’s fans will
the most beautiful portrayals of
ary. Mike’s apparent sacrifice,
evangelism gives one a certain
often claim that he is a remark-
homosexual love and relation-
which is an allusion to Jesus
guilty satisfaction, but is a
ably progressive writer. They
ships one can find.)
that Heinlein does not bother
morally suspect act. Heinlein
are right, to an extent. Hein-
The creation of Mike’s church,
to hide or to make subtle, also
almost succeeds in circumvent-
lein made a point of including
which is formed toward the
serves as testimony to this fact.
ing this moral quandary by
protagonists and key characters
end of the novel, represents the
The book has much to recom-
explaining that death, which
who are black, and some of
departure from good writing
mend it, and not only to those
Martians call discorporation,
his strongest characters are
and the advent of the novel’s
who are familiar with science
has a very different meaning
women.
ridiculous final section.
fiction. There is just as much
for Mike. (Martians are known
Nevertheless, Harshaw lives
The Church of All Worlds
for which is worthy of condem-
to voluntarily discorporate at
with a concubine, or a sexless
still exists today as a neo-
nation, and I cannot deny that I
moments of intense emotional
harem, of four female secre-
pagan religion which regards
stuck with it primarily because
suffering, or by committing
taries. Though Heinlein gives
Heinlein as something of a
I enjoyed criticising it. Never-
minor offenses against society.)
them a veneer of independence,
prophet. Though the story of
theless, it is reasonably well-
But the fact that Mike soon
their sole purpose in the novel
a bet between himself and L.
written, and it offers an insight
‘groks’ the difference does not
is, first, to wait upon Harshaw
Ron Hubbard over who would
into what we might vaguely
stop him condemning enemies
(albeit with no small amount
be the first to found a religion
term ‘the spirit of the ‘60s’, and
and inconvenient people to
of back-chat and good natured
appears to be apocryphal, it is
it occasionally serves to make
summary disappearance.
joshing) and then, later on, to
nevertheless true that Heinlein
one think. With that in mind,
The character of Harshaw,
fall pregnant, and then, later
convinced his first wife to ac-
I encourage the reader to pick
who is one of the most like-
still, to serve as members of
cept the creator of the Church
up a copy. It can be found for as
able characters throughout the
Mike’s new church.
of Scientology into an open
little as £2, and it is worth that
novel, quickly reveals another
Lines like “Nine out of ten
relationship; a decision which
much, at least.
problem: Heinlein is fond of
times if a girl gets raped it’s
is thought to have contributed
Ben Mercer
is a novel which reformed its genre, introducing – or at least emphasising – a split between “hard sci-fi” and other, more readable variants. But its problems – and there are many – mirror those of Heinlein’s life and career. Published in 1961 (though the unexpurgated version was not printed for another thirty years), Stranger tells the story of one Valentine Michael Smith, a human born on Mars and raised for two decades by Martians. The book begins with Smith’s return to Earth, and follows him as he attempts to learn about and to fit in with the society of a people who, though genetically his own, are alien in every meaningful respect. There are few better openings in science fiction. Michael’s return to earth sees him overawed; a child thrown through the wardrobe into Narnia. He is kidnapped by a government that would use him for its own purposes, and held prisoner as his would-be protectors wonder how they might go about rescuing him. He is oblivious as one of them, a journalist, is attacked and kidnapped himself, and withdraws into himself as he is hidden in a suitcase and dragged to safety; the home of the ageing doctor, writer and philosopher, Jubal Harshaw. Their efforts to protect him and help him grow lead to numerous intriguing encoun-
Oh god, he’s invaded culture too
12
TUESDAY 17TH FEBRUARY | THE LION
Film: And The Winner Is... A Forecast Of The Oscars D
.. Geron Kramer
time nominations for Emma
Best Actress
a stunning performance as
Winner, Boyhood, which was
First Year Postgraduate
Stone (Birdman) and Patricia
This is one of the few categories
Stephen Hawking portraying
filmed over the last 12 years.
Arquette (Boyhood). Both
where we do not find the usual
his fight against motor neurone
It was definitely worth it! Also
played their parts well and are
suspects. My personal favourite
disease. He won a golden Globe
interesting is the nomination of
rightly nominated, but must
is first time nominee Rosam-
for this performance and beat
Wes Anderson’s latest hit The
face well-known competition:
und Pike for her tremendous
Benedict Cumberbatch (The
Grand Budapest Hotel, which
Keira Knightley (The Imitation
and quite scary role in Gone
Imitation Game). Michael
won the Golden Globe for best
Game), Meryl Streep (Into the
Girl. Her toughest competitor
Keaton, who similarly won
comedy or musical. The film’s
Woods) and Laura Dern (Wild).
might be Julianne Moore (Still
a Golden Globe, also stands
often somewhat crazy plot is
Who will win? Probably Emma
Alice), who won the Golden
a good chance. I believe that
full of unexpected jokes.
Stone, for she is the youngest
Globe and played a most touch-
Steve Carell (Foxcatcher) and
What else do we have? Ameri-
among them and appeared in
ing role as a college professor
Bradley Cooper have less of a
can Sniper tells the story of the
another 2014 Blockbuster, The
with Alzheimer’s (The film
chance of grabbing the award.
most skilled sniper, Chris Kyle.
Amazing Spider-Man 2. How-
will be released in the UK in
But, to be honest, I have no
Quite the opposite of what you
ever, the Golden Globe was
March). Reese Witherspoon
favourite in this category. They
can find in the movie Selma,
won by Patricia Arquette. The
(Wild), Felicity Jones (first
are all great actors and would
which tells the story of the big-
other nominees, in my opinion,
nomination - The Theory of
all deserve the Oscar.
gest protest march in the US of
only have a small chance of get-
Everything) and Marion Cotil-
ting the prize. The men? Again
lard (Two Days, One Night)
we have a first time nominee
stand behind these two, I think.
In February the world of film stands still in eager anticipation of the biggest night of the cinematic calendar. The Oscars or Academy Awards are indeed the most famous movie prize in the world. And now, everyone is waiting for the 22nd February when Neil Patrick Harris (aka Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother) shall be hosting the 87th ceremony of the Awards. To provide a real forecast of who will win at this point is near impossible, but I am still going to give it a try. Maybe the reality shall prove me wrong but we will have to wait and see. Actress/Actor in a supporting role This might be one of the hardest categories to predict. For the actress, we have two first
with J.K. Simmons (Whiplash), who might have the best chance as he won the Golden Globe. The other nominees are: Robert Duvall (The Judge), Ethan Hawke (Boyhood), Edward Norton (Birdman) and Mark Ruffalo (Foxcatcher).
First Year Postgraduate Four boys and one girl have a mission. They want to be the world‘s first mainstream Acapella group. Their name: Pentatonix The whole story started back in 2011 after the band won the NBC talent-show The Sing-Off. The members then dropped out of school in order to start their career in Los Angeles. In the beginning of 2012 the band started to post acapella versions of popular songs like ‘Somebody that I used to know’ (originally by Gotye) on YouTube. This was a big step in the group‘s career. After some appearances on popular TV shows in the US they released their first EP on the 26th June 2012. The record consisted of seven songs and featured other popular covers
Eight movies are nominated here. Most Londoners might
Best Actor
hope that The Imitation Game
This is really tough. Five well-
will win, which is my favourite
known actors are nominated in
as well. The film was recently
this category but, besides Brad-
filmed in Chesham and is
ley Cooper (American Sniper),
a British co-production. A
it is the first nomination for
close second is Golden Globe
them all. Eddie Redmayne (The Theory of Everything) gave
Music: Acapella Can Be Popular The Story Of Pentatonix .. Geron Kramer
Best Picture
including ‘We are young’ by
wonderful sound. The concerts
Fun and ‘Spaceships’ by Nicki
are full of fun, show and obvi-
Minaj. In autumn 2012, they
ously all the good songs we like
embarked on their first US tour
to listen to. Pentatonix is still
which sold out 30 venues. Since
a cover-band and over 50% of
then, the band has expanded a
the songs at their concerts are
lot. In 2013 they had their first
covers. However, they make
World Tour (including concerts
these songs into something
in Europe, Asia and Australia).
new and so the audience can
The audience is usually young
sing-along and enjoy them-
(between 15 and 30 years old),
selves at their concerts.
which is not surprising because
In the last couple of months
of the way that Pentatonix’s
the band has promoted their
music is directly aimed at this
latest albums and was invited
generation and due to their
to sing at the Grammys and
use of YouTube and Facebook.
on popular TV shows around
Most of their songs can be
Europe. Everything is now pre-
found on YouTube and this has
pared for their next big tour,
resulted in the band gaining
which will include a concert in
fans all around the world. 750
London as well (30/4/2015 at
Million views certainly makes a
Hammersmith Apollo). If you
bold statement of their success.
have a chance, go and see these
Pentatonix is a phenomenon on
wonderful musicians and enjoy
the stage as only they and their
an evening with all of your
voices create a very special and
favourite music.
the movement around Martin Luther King. Meanwhile, Whiplash tells of a talented drummer and the scary methods of his music teacher. Last but not least, the story of Stephen Hawking in The Theory of Everything. A touching and brilliant movie with a wonderful cast.
What else? A lot of glamour and stars on the red carpet and some brilliant music acts. Neil Patrick Harris will host the show this year and this promises a lot of laughs. This Oscar gala has got everything to be a night to remember. It’s gonna be Legen… wait for it!
13
TUESDAY 17TH FEBRUARY | THE LION
Theatre: To Be More Curious Rachel Atkinsson
The book by Mark Haddon is
ment, music and sound effects
course brought the show to life
actions. Like many of the char-
First Year Undergraduate
a narration by a 15-year-old
all merged together to create
but Butler’s performance as an
acters in the play that judge
When in a place like London,
boy called Christopher who is
an excellent spectacle. It was
autistic teenager experiencing
Christopher’s actions, before
you either embrace the rushed
trying to solve the murder of
a fine example of how the set
difficulties everyday was just
stopping to think that there
atmosphere, the involvement,
his neighbour’s dog, Welling-
can really help emphasize the
moving.
may be a reason for him acting
the purpose and the many
ton. During his investigation
storyline. The stage was like a
The show was powerful,
the way he did. As a society
events, or you quietly push
he is often helped and hindered
huge mathematical grid that
heartwarming and at times sad;
we need to take a step back
them aside. I have thrown my-
by the form of autism that he
came to life to create trains,
naturally I was talking avidly
before we jump to conclusions,
self into many events and one
lives with, making the story a
tube stations, constellations,
about it for days after. I was
we need to start to at least try
of them most recently was the
perspective masterpiece. The
streets, buildings and such
struck, however, with a sense
and understand disabilities (in
National Theatre production
story’s development follows
like. Often in a production it
of distress, distress for my own
whichever form they come in).
of “The Curious Incident of the
Christopher overcoming social
is hard to establish different
lack of understanding. One of
After all, we each have our own
Dog in the Nighttime” at the
situations, solving the murder
settings, however for this show
the most powerful things about
difficulties and problems that
Gielgud Theatre. Having read
case and passing his A-Level
there was nothing that the
the play is that the audience
we rarely tell others about. The
the book, my expectations were
math exam, but it is essentially
grid, lighting and sound effects
begins to gain some form of
amount of people living with
high and I was extremely inter-
about the pressures a family
couldn’t convey. Not only was
perspective from a person who
difficulties that we don’t under-
ested in how they were going
can feel when raising a child
the set exceptional, so was the
sees the world differently to
stand is astonishing. We need
to adapt it to work as a stage
with difficulties.
acting. Graham Butler, who
others. Which in turn led me
to be more perceptive of others
show. The adaptation proved to
The stage show was phenom-
played Christopher, was jaw-
to realize that I too often judge
and their problems; we need to
be simply fantastic.
enal! The set, actors, move-
dropping. The whole cast of
others before questioning their
be more curious.
Cafe Culture: London is Doing it Differently Catherine Squibb
and chains like Starbucks
independent coffee houses.
fee shops pop up. Antipodean
are the ones who want quality
Web Dev Officer
opened more stores across the
London’s multicultural and
style coffee bars and cafés have
coffee. Instead of having a caf-
London has never really had a
country. The coffee drinking ef-
tourist driven population al-
been started up all over the
feine fix, it becomes something
fect has definitely improved the
ready provides people to these
city because the Aussies and
of a treat. Trying new flavours,
market and allowed room for
independent small cafes. Walk
Kiwis have a strong appetite
meeting the barista and enjoy-
more people to open up inde-
down any main street in Lon-
for coffee. It is their culture
ing London’s new independent
pendent cafés. Though people
don and there will be a beauti-
back home; independent coffee
café culture. Our country has
cut back in economic difficulty,
ful café down any side street
houses are the norm and they
a new devotion for coffee with
small luxuries such as coffee
packed with people. Museums
want good quality and inter-
budding baristas at every turn.
and cake are still indulged in.
are always a favourite too; if
esting cafes here too. So they
The big café chains aren’t the
you travel to the V&A museum
brought them to London.
If you want to see for yourself,
bad guys; they are increasing
you will find it is surrounded by
But what really is making our
the regular coffee drinkers who
high-quality coffee all day and
café culture in London is the
will start wanting better coffee
night.
quality. Habitual coffee drink-
and service. These people will
Over the last 10 years, London
ers may be turned by the likes
then go in search of our small
has seen different cultured cof-
of Starbucks or Costa but they
café culture; ours consists of teashops, high street chains or a coffee in a pub. Looking for that perfect espresso has always been hard to find. However London is taking on a new café culture, unlike the old European-style coffee houses. Cafés and coffee shops have been growing over the past few years, especially for high street chains. After the recession, coffee consumption still increased
here are a few suggestions of some of London’s best: Brill, Exmouth Market Kaffeine, 66 Great Tichfield La Cafferttiera, 40 Kensington Church Street
Film: 50 Shades Of Grey Jacob Tong Events Officer The film release of the year is upon us. It’s not going to win Oscars, but it’s definitely going to be worth a trip to the cinema to see. It’s the film based on the book that was loved by millions of horny middle-aged women across the world. It even created its own new phrase ‘Mommy Porn’. 50 Shades of Grey has hit the silver screen and I believe that everyone needs to see it.
Now every avid book series lov-
who I don’t think were anyone’s
It is also worth adding that
an abusive and horrid relation-
er gets scared and upset when
first choices will definitely have
France has just given the film a
ship, which people are so quick
their beloved pages are chosen
a chance to stand out in one of
PG-12 rating allowing the day
to label 50 Shades with, has
to be transformed by Holly-
the biggest films to be released
to be a family outing rather
been rebutted. A relationship
wood, but not me. If anything,
in 2015. There is a chance that
than a couple’s secret hobby.
between two consenting adults
becoming a film can only make
if Jamie Dornan does well, he
They cite the tastefully done
testing the limits of their love
this story better - if that’s even
could become a regular fixture
sex scenes as a reason why
with a bit of kinky sex never
possible. Sex, Money, Power,
in Hollywood. Look out for
they have granted such a low
killed anyone. If the Daily Mail
how could Hollywood mess
Jamie Dornan doing a Chan-
certificate for this film. Keep
hasn’t done an article on it then
that up? It’s ‘American Dream’.
ning Tatum or Ryan Gosling as
this in mind if you see it and
it’s just not a thing. However
And if early reviews are right,
he catapults into the main-
think about whether or not the
the Nay sayers shall be put in
Sam Taylor Johnson has done
stream. Rita Ora will also be
UK is over the top with its view
their place when the film comes
a tremendous job in improving
giving her debut big screen per-
on sex.
out and just shows a skeleton of
the storyline.
formance as Mia which should
Also I would like people to
the book with the body of Hol-
With an above average cast,
be, at the very least, interesting.
keep in mind that the idea of
lywood Blockbusters.
The lion was my valentine
14
TUESDAY 17TH FEBRUARY | THE LION
D
Tales From London Town Jordan Mant Culture Editor
*There is another solution. To create a ‘Hug a Londoner’ campaign to make everyone feel better and to spread joy across the city. Londoners, however, don’t like to display emotions and would probably be weirded out by this. Soooo... best not.
Have you got a Tale from London Town? We want yours for our next issue!
Owl, owl, tell me now how long you’ve been in town. Looking for birds tights and reaching high skies. Far in the night is an owl
with his song in his growl, he dances all night long thinking he’s
King Kong.
Owl, owl, tell me now how long you’ve been in town. Looking for birds tights and reaching high skies. He flies through parks and any pub looking for alcohol and some grub, studying the shadows in his eyes and then on the grass it lies.
Owl, owl, tell me now how long you’ve been in town. Looking for birds tights and reaching high skies. He’s seen it all, good and bad, it boasts fierce storms and amazing coasts, but the pigeons round it wonder if it’s gunna talk any longer.
Owl, owl, tell me now how long you’ve been in town. Looking for birds tights and reaching high skies. Stumbles flying home into trees, has any shot it sees, couple tokes, beers and a fag what will you have when you’ll die young?
Early Bird Barcol (Too often perhaps I’ve witnessed wasted youth and wondered of whether seeking comfort in futile and degrading leisure or escapes was worth it)
food for soul
and exaggerated versions of the truth. However, in this instance, the frustration of the Londoner had truly been taken to new lengths. We couldn’t decide whether our fellow commuters were in fact members of the Liberal Democrat party, avid BBC viewers who hated the thought of anyone tuning into Channel 4, a Metro enthusiast, or perhaps we had to arrive at the disheartening but perhaps realistic conclusion... commuters are filled with so much disdain for their places of work and the means of transport they have to use to get to them, that they feel the need to reduce the amount of enjoyment present in the train carriage which they are in. The only* solution to this issue which I’ve come up with is that whenever you board the London Underground you should, in fact, always interview your fellow commuters to deduce how much dislike they take to the abhorrent act of laughter. Failure to do so could lead to a verbal scolding on your way to university or perhaps could even lead to a revoking of your Oyster card.
From Heythrop College
On a Thursday morning, my fellow Heythropper and I were making our way into college on the District Line. We were both sat down and I was recounting a hilarious interview I had seen online the night before between Deputy Prime Minster Nick Clegg and TV Presenter Alex Brooker on Channel 4’s The Last Leg. Questions included, whether Clegg often sat in the House of Commons and looked at Labour with a feeling of regret, as well as asking on a scale of 1 to 10 (where 1 was that he couldn’t give a damn and 10 where he couldn’t sleep at night) how bad he felt about what he did to students with the tuition fees. If you haven’t seen the interview yet, you should definitely check it out! Regardless, we were three or four minutes into our conversation when a lady opposite us, probably in her late fifties or early sixties, pulled down her newspaper to ask my friend mid-laughter, “Can you be quiet please? We’re trying to read!” At which point, the lady next to me also pulled down her newspaper to add “Yeah, can you? It’s really loud!” We were quite frankly a little bit gobsmacked that we had been reprimanded for simply expressing enjoyment through the human act of laughter. We continued the rest of our conversation in hushed tones for the rest of our journey. I know that stereotypes are often made of Londoners but most of these are harmless
15
TUESDAY 17TH FEBRUARY | THE LION
Horoscopes Aries
Taurus
Gemini
Cancer
Mar 21 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 20
May 21 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 22
There will be a murder. You will meet a quirky, comical and strangely endearing sidekick and, together, you will plunge into a dark and sinister world of shadows where nothing is quite as it seems. Friendships will be broken; some men will have three or four testicles, and you may find love in the most surprising of places.
Your horoscope is a vision of a long-distant future. In around four billion years time, the Andromeda galaxy will collide with the Milky Way, throwing our solar system into a region of the resulting supergalaxy that is much further away from the galactic centre than we’re used to. House prices may rise, but not drastically. No word yet on how it will affect future horoscopes, but studies suggest it won’t make the slightest difference.
It doesn’t have to be final. It doesn’t have to ruin your life.
Leo
Virgo
Libra
Scorpio
Jul 23 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sep 22
Sep 23 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Your parents are either getting divorced or getting back together. Either way, everything you’ve ever known will be turned upside down, and you will go through a period of depression. But not to worry, things will get better. Well, they won’t get worse. Well, they might. Who can say?
This is my star sign. It’s the best one. I’m told it’s the source of much of my irresistible charm and undeniable sexual charisma.
You will begin to notice a decidedly fishy smell coming from your womb. It will probably start on a Tuesday. It will be organic in origin. Don’t worry, you’re not pregnant, but you should probably get yourself checked. Contact your local mystic to divine the location of your nearest clinic.
This will be a month consisting of four weeks, each made up of seven days consisting of roughly 24 hours each, which is around 1440 minutes, or 86,400 seconds. Things will happen to you during this time, but you will take comfort from the knowledge that the planets aren’t capable of giving a shit, let alone conspiring to ruin your life.
You will develop a strange, inexplicable and highly eroticised obsession with Nigel Farage. You will have some of the best sex dreams of your life; his red, slightly fish-like face looming over you as he makes you beg, beg for a referendum.
Sagittarius
Capricorn
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - 19 Jan
You suspect that your employer has been reading 50 Shades of Grey. The handcuffs are out, not quite golden, but at least a dusty bronze. It seems to be keeping most people at their posts, but you should still make a break for it if you can, this is not a healthy relationship.
Take up smoking, it’ll make you look cool. You’re not long for the world anyway after that thing at the zoo. Oh... that hasn’t happened yet... wasn’t supposed to let that slip. Ah well, you might be okay if you avoid penguins.
Aquarius
Pisces
Jan 20 - Feb 18
Feb 19 - 20 Mar
Confront Death. Embrace him like an old friend, share the warmth of your fire and whiskey on a cold winter’s night. Only by accepting Death can one kick him in the balls when he isn’t looking and do a runner out the back door.
A toxic miasma fogs your brain, poisoning the juices and rotting the soul. How do you escape? If I knew that, I’d have been long gone from here and be king of the world by now, mate.
16
TUESDAY 17TH FEBRUARY | THE LION
Tuesday 17 February 2015 1.30pm, Bellarmine Room Lunch provided This term’s Have Your Say session will focus on the National Student Survey (NSS) and the Heythrop Student Survey (HSS), which both launch on Monday 9 February. These annual surveys are a great way for students to get their voices heard. Come along to find out about the surveys and why it’s important to participate.
heythrop.ac.uk/hss
Philosophy & Theology UNIVERSITY OF LONDON