[THIS] Christmas Magazine by The Lion

THE HEYTHROP LION PRESENTS

[THIS] CHRISTMAS, 2015

THE ABATTOIR

TRADITIONS

A DIFFERENT CHRISTMAS

CHRISTMAS CRAFT

TOP FIVES

13 RECIPES

POETRY

CHRISTMAS FUN

Disclaimer: Not suitable for Scrooges as this magazine contains lots of festive cheer for the holiday season.

Editors-in-Chief Megan Skingsley Katherine Johnson Managing Editor Katie Milne News Editor Jenny Moran Web Editor Terrence Sibley Editors-at-Large Ben Mercer Catherine Squibb Oscar Yuill

happy holidays!

elcome to the second issue of [this]. This issue is our Christmas special (in case the big picture of the Christmas tree didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; t give it away) and we are very excited to share some festive joy with you all. We have some great ideas to brighten up your Christmas (and I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t just mean the alcoholic recipes!) and some more thoughtful articles about this season. Without further ado, go put on a Christmas jumper, grab a mince pie and enjoy some festive reading. Merry Christmas!

Megan Skingsley, Editor-in-Chief

content deadline 15/01 For [THIS], Lent Term To get involved with the next issue of [this], email your queries, articles, comments and complaints to thelion@heythrop.ac.uk or check out our social media facebook.com/theheythroplion theheythroplion.co.uk

BEN MERCER Editor-at-Large

THE ABATTOIR “Merry Christmas” as Justin Bieber and Beyoncé and whatever talentless drone has most recently left the X Factory.) And it joins religion as one of those sicknesses peculiar to the mind that we are told not to cure but to celebrate. “Scrooge!” I hear you cry. “Humbug!”

t was August of 2014 and the following a tip-off from South shire Police, opted to make its judicious use of the license fee re-commissioning Mrs Browns’

BBC, Yorkmost since Boys.

The result felt like, and may indeed have been, hours of footage of the roof of a house. A reasonably pleasant house, I’m sure, and certainly an expensive one, but the most interesting roof in the world is rarely deserving of air time exceeding a few seconds. More than that and one would be forgiven for thinking the whole exercise a waste both of time and money. And the reason for this long and pointless rolling news set-piece? Cliff Fucking Richard. Mr Fucking Richard’s name had been thrown into the kaleidoscopic cauldron of talentless old codgers from yesteryear that is the purview of Operation Yewtree (or Operation ‘Get The Nonce’ as it should more properly be known). Cliff’s hands, and perhaps Cliff’s Dick, were alleged to have invaded prepubescents in the ‘80s. Christmas time, rohypnol in the wine… It should have been irrelevant that the police’s search of Mr Fucking Richard’s Berkshire home failed to turn up any ev-

idence, as Mr Fucking Richard’s discography surely contains enough incriminating material to get him indicted at The Hague. Nevertheless, he joins the Chuckle Brothers at the top of the ‘I Can’t Believe They’re Not Paedos’ list, and Britain’s prison population can breathe a sigh of relief. Not so the rest of us. From the first second of the first day after Halloween, with the brief and unremarkable interlude that is Remembrance Day, we have been preparing for The Season To Be Jolly.

And it is a season. It begins on November 1st and one is generally expected to remain in the officially sanctioned mood or spirit of said season until mid (if one is lucky) to late (if one is not) January. Its equinox is heralded not by celestial movements or meteorological changes but by an all but universal shift in the collective consciousness; a sudden appreciation for the music of Bing Crosby and Nat King Cole, Bruce Springsteen and Billy Idol, Wet Wet Wet and, yes, Cliff Fucking Richard. It is an illness. Those suffering from it demonstrate a marked tendency toward orgies of gaudiness and general bad taste. (And that’s without the modern offerings from such metastasized cultural tumours

But that’s not quite fair. I may have been born a curmudgeon but I am not immune to the occasional lapse into sentimentality, and something about Christmas prods me in that direction. My grandparents make excellent roast dinners, and sipping wine before an open fire has a certain amount of aesthetic as well as nostalgic appeal, and the various gatherings of relatives present abundant opportunities for invigorating family quarrels. (No, alleged kinsman; the Queen is not a Jewish lizard. She’s a protestant.)

The snow, when it comes, suits either my cold heart or my hot blood; and I’ve always been partial to the pine and the steadfastly evergreen trees, the holly, the blazing logs and other pagan iconography unique not to Israel (whatever your experience of ridiculous nativity scenes might suggest; it seldom snows in Bethlehem) but to the old forests and tundra regions of Northern Europe. My father insists we have Viking ancestry. It explains, he says, his recurring dreams – those in which he murders work colleagues with a short-handled battle-axe. Perhaps the archetype explains my taste, too, though I’m inclined to doubt it.

My mother is as opposed to cynicism and as alien from sarcasm as I am for them. The contrast is sometimes so stark that I wonder that the surname on my birth certificate is the same as hers. And she regards these state-sanctioned holidays and inducements to consumerism as vitally important periods in the calendar. They are

special days, family times; the exception to the rules of distance and animosity that, by implication, define the rest of the year. My reply to her expressions of love for these displays of gilt-edged sentiment – Mothers’ Day, for example, which “is only one day, and isn’t it nice to show appreciation for your parents?” – tends to be a variation on a theme. “I’ll grant you your day, mother, if it exempts me from being nice to you for the rest of the year.”

A glib riposte, it’s true. But it does at least imply a criticism; one bound up with a distaste - for the ideas of compulsory love, compulsory affection, compulsory celebration and compulsory generosity - that is not as ubiquitous as it should be. It is not seasonal celebrations that offend but the nature of those celebrations and the manner of their enforcement. It is still a custom in some houses to place an angel on top of the Christmas tree – but imagine how it must feel to be impaled on a cheap plastic replica of a pine that’s been completely covered in a fresco of cheap baubles and cheap tinsel and cheap lights; that’s made to look like something that would be better suited to Las Vegas than an English living room; that’s been made to be the festive equivalent of a blind and overzealous drag queen who’s been dressed by an equally blind and overzealous wardrobe assistant. Imagine it, for that is the feeling of forced celebration. “More is better!” is its mantra. No, no it isn’t. Already we see cringe-making adverts from the likes of John Lewis attempting to exploit the ‘spirit of the season’ with the crudest emotional blackmail. The Sainsbury’s advert from last year is a particularly vulgar example of this. Borrowing, apparently, from Richard Curtis’s Love Actually (and try avoiding that for two months) which exploited the attacks on 9/11 to arouse petty sentimentality, Sainsbury’s decided that the Christmas Truce of 1914 would be a great way to sell Taste The Difference. And it worked, after a fashion. Bile does not taste like Sainsbury’s Rich Tea biscuits. That is compulsory affection infected with consumerism. Marginally better – but it is a very slim margin – are the raft of charity adverts that will surely capsize off the coast of Media very soon. Migrants, refugees, poor and starving

children in Africa and the Middle East will be shepherded safely onto our screens by Ewan McGregor, Bono and Bob Geldof, with the accompanying injunction “It’s Christmas, give a f*cking shit” making us all stop and pause, probably during or shortly after our second Christmas dinner, and feel guilty for all those poor souls who will not see so much as a solitary roast potato this year.

Helping people is good. It’s nice to help people. But charity, particularly seasonal charity, is only the thinnest of veils. “Feed the world; let them know it’s Christmas time.” Didn’t the first Live Aid cure world hunger? No, funnily enough, it didn’t. It takes more than Christmas cheer to cure something as systemic and as institutionalized as poverty. Scrooge may well have become a more generous man but one-off gifts to the children of Syria or Sudan are not likely to relieve them of their burdens. What good is a warm jumper going to do Tiny Tim if some wannabe Mugabe keeps stealing his dinner? What if he wanders off the next day and steps on a landmine?

So if you do find yourselves tempted to give to charity “because it’s Christmas,” (and I would recommend giving to one that can make the best practical use of one-off donations, like Médicins Sans Frontieres) perhaps ask yourself what you will do in the 364 days between Christmas Day 2015 and Christmas Eve 2016. Will you care? Will you act on it? Or is your generosity at this time of year inspired only by decree? There is another unseemly and unhelpful alliance, between compulsory love and compulsory generosity, which, by inculcating the notion that the giving of gifts is something that is good in and of itself, is particularly injurious both to our sincerity and to our bank accounts. I have a cupboard at home which is full of useless tat from Christmases past; tat of a nature so utterly obscure that it defies classification (other than to say that it is useless). I seldom give gifts. This is partly because I cannot afford to but also because generosity is not generosity when it is commanded or expected of us. Why, when some distant cousin has done nothing to merit generosity, should they receive (much less expect to receive) a meaningless present on one day of the year but not on any other? No,

I think it much more healthy and sincere and good to give gifts only when that gift is something special, when it is fitting, and when it is a genuine expression of genuine feeling. Those to whom I feel genuine affection will receive gifts if I stumble across something I think they will like and appreciate. If not, the sentiment will be expressed in some other way. Love is not bound to the receiving of meaningless, useless junk. These mandatory ingredients of Christmas actively hinder our enjoyment of it, don’t they? Don’t they detract from what should be the true spirit of the season? This may be taken as just another anti-consumerist diatribe but I contend that the disagreement runs deeper.

My favourite theory to explain the rise to prominence of this tasteless excess is analogous to what motivates some people toward binge-drinking at weekends. It is a discontent theory of excess. Our weeks are so devoid of fun and meaning and freedom of expression that we compensate – we over-compensate – whenever we get a glimpse of liberty. So it is that we lose our minds at weekends and fall out-of-touch with sentiment at Christmas precisely because we work so hard to cram it into the short period allotted to it. Even the allotted period is threatened by the feeling, made more alluring by offers of increased pay, to temper our enjoyment of the season by spending much of it at work in order that we may better afford to indulge in short bursts of excess later on.

So I close with a plea, and perhaps an injunction. Do not indulge in all that has been laid out above solely because you are expected to. Do not spend your hard-earned money on things you know will not be appreciated just because you’ve been told that giving for its own sake is good. And, if you can possibly afford to, do not perpetuate and even exacerbate the problem by working over Christmas. Book a week off – hell, book two – and allow yourself the time to enjoy all that is good and decent about this time of year, whether that be family or solitude, the company of friends or your own company, liveliness or relaxation, adventure or meditation, Church or the pub. And please, above all else, do it well. Merry Christmas.

K AT I E M I L N E Managing Editor

CHRISTMAS TRADITIONS F

or many of us, Christmas is the best time of year. It is a time of festive cheer, of seeing family, giving and receiving gifts, and it has the presence of an overarching warmth that extends through everybody you meet. “Merry Christmas” is a wonderful thing to hear, and say. The moment I start writing it on gift tags and little cards emblazoned with Christmas trees I am officially in the spirit of the season. But, as we grow older, Christmas is changing. We have already lost the childish excitement of Santa visiting, leaving carrots for his fleet of reindeer, and a glass of milk and mince pie help keep Santa on his feet. The family home no longer miraculously turns into a festive wonderland overnight. We can now read the disappoint-

ment on our extended family’s faces when they receive yet another pair of socks, despite their years of practice in hiding it. There is no denying it, some of the Christmas magic has been lost for us. As young adults, now having grown up but with a good few years left yet before we have a family of our own, we are in a transitional period where we have to learn to create our own Christmas magic. Living away from home, some of you may find it sufficient to place a tiny, lopsided Christmas tree in the communal kitchen, where it will inevitably get doused in a combination of alcohol and sauce. We also have Winter Wonderland only a short walk away, the true embodiment of Christmas ambience and festivities for only an absurdly high price.

However, of course, it doesn’t feel the same.

This Christmas, when I buy my first Christmas tree of my own, and hang my own decorations (instead of watching my parents precariously balance on ladders trying to outdo the neighbours), I will be putting something else into my home as well - a little bit of Christmas spirit. Every Christmas film that you watch away from your parent’s home, every mince pie that is baked (or at least eaten) in a kitchen that you didn’t grow up in, is a little bit more Christmas spirit added into the world. So instead of feeling nostalgic for the Christmas magic we felt when we were a child, we should feel excited to inspire that magic in future generations. I’ll always love Christmas, actually.

C AT H E R I N E S Q U I B B Editor-at-Large

CHRISTMAS with a DIFFERENCE

hristmas is such an exciting time; roast dinners, parties and presents. You wouldn’t think people could be unhappy at Christmas, but many are. In particular, the elderly and people with mental illnesses. Christmas can be very lonely and sad if they don’t have anywhere to go; no friends or family or anyone to help them cook a roast. Also, turkeys are expensive (but, if you go to Tesco on Christmas eve just before it closes you can get them for dirt cheap!).

So in 2013, my family and me decided to spend our Christmas day with complete strangers and for me, it was the best Christmas ever. Our usual tradition is to get up, open the ‘kids’’ presents, go to church, come back and enjoy our Christmas dinner, open my parents’ presents and then spend the rest of the day playing board games and watching the doctor who Christmas special. In the community centre in my home town, every year they hold a Christmas day for the elderly and venerable in the community. It is advertised in the local paper and you just have to book a ticket if you would like to come. Everything is done for them. They get picked up by volunteers and taken to the centre (so they can glug the wine). Then they are greeted with some mulled wine and mince pies. The day just simply consists of them chatting, playing board games,

eating a lovely roast dinner and enjoying themselves. The local acoustic group give up their Christmas day every year to play Christmas carols and song which everyone sings along to. Two local chefs, who now have grown up children abroad, volunteer their services to cook the food – even when they were both ill with tonsillitis. It is amazing how so many people come together to help people who don’t have anyone else.

On the day, my duties were to greet and serve. After welcoming them all, me and my brother got to serve them wine or non-alcoholic drinks and then their full roast dinner with Christmas pud to finish. Our parents got the lucky end of the stick and were table hosts. This meant they got allocated a table of guests and had to entertain them and help them enjoy their day – whilst enjoying a full dinner. James and me on the other hand had to just eat whatever was left over, and this did mean an ultimate amount of pigs-in-blankets (personal favourite). The day was different but special. There was a feeling of pure joy throughout the day among the volunteers and the guests. We all rallied together to make it a fantastic day. It felt like almost a sense of achievement. Personally, I enjoy Christmas. Though sometimes I can feel almost let down by it. The

build up for so many months can make for a big expectation and realistically it is just another day. But I very much enjoy my usual Christmas, keeping up with the traditions and eating as much as I can possible fit in my tummy. Nevertheless, a community Christmas gave me a completely different feeling. It didn’t feel like Christmas day at all, almost just another day. However, it was fantastic. To see these people who would usually be alone, laughing, singing along to Christmas music, chatting away and smiling made me feel amazing. Seeing that you had made other people happy was just heart-warming. I would recommend to anyone, if you are bored of Christmas or just want to help people out, try something different this year. You might make someone’s day so special. My family like to do things together, and after helping out at the community Christmas my (at the time 16 year old) brother felt like we had ruined his Christmas. It was awful apparently. We should have been playing with all of the cool gadgets he got. Though I know for a fact he enjoyed himself whilst he was there, he was incredibly upset by the fact we had ruined Christmas for him. My parents decided we would wait until he is a bit older to do it again.

So maybe just think about, having a Christmas with a difference this year... Merry Christmas!

Christmas Tea Light Holder

Baubles

Scrabble Phrases

Tin Can

Polystyrene Ball Glue Newspaper Scissors Needle Ribbon Brush

Scrabble Tiles

1. Mix glue and water in a bowl

2. Glue the words together, and then glue each word on top of each other (or a couple next to each other with blank tiles in between, depending on what looks best)

Hammer Nail

Newspaper Water

Tea Light

1. Fill the can with water and put in the freezer overnight

2. Place newspaper down on a surface on the floor the next day, when the water has frozen (and it might be best to do this outside)

3. Use the hammer and nail to makes holes into a pattern on the tin can (such as a star) over the newspaper 4. Dry the can and place a tea light in and light when the ice has melted or has been removed

2. Rip up bits of newspaper and use the mixture to stick them to the ball

3. After sticking one layer of newspaper to the ball, use the needle to poke one end of the ribbon into the top of the ball, and then poke the other end in next to it, to make a loop 4. Carry on paper maching the ball, including over the holes of the ribbon to keep them in place

5. For the last layer, pick out letters for words (maybe someoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s name if you are making it as a present) and stick them onto the ball over the rest of the newspaper

Glue

Ribbon Scissors 1. Make festive phrases out of the scrabble tiles

3. Stick some ribbon in a loop to the back of the tiles, once dried, so they can be hung up

JENNY MORAN News Editor

Craft Button Snowmen

3D Trees

Cork Reindeer

2 White Buttons (one bigger than the

Green Card (of any size you fancy)

A cork (with one end thicker than the

Black Felt

Sequins

Small Red Pom Pom

other)

Any Colour Felt Orange Felt

Needle and Thread Ribbon

Scissors Glue

1. Place the buttons, the smaller one on top of the other, onto a coloured felt of your choice, and trace around the buttons with a 1cm gap 2. Sew the buttons onto the felt

3. Stick small round pieces of black felt onto the top button, as eyes

4. Stick a small triangular piece of orange felt just below the middle of the eyes, as a nose 5. Take the black felt and cut out a top hat, and stick it on the top of the top button

6. Stick a loop of ribbon to the back of the felt attached to the buttons so it can be hung

Scissors

Small Pom Poms Pencil Ruler

1. Fold a green piece of card in half, draw a tree shape with a flat bottom, and cut it out 2. Unfold the tree, and repeat the first step, using the first tree as a stencil. 3. Measure half way between both trees and mark 4. Cut a slot from the top to the middle of one tree, and the bottom to the middle of another 5. Slot the trees together, and stand upright

6. Leave plain, or add a pom pom on top, or stick some sequins on!

other)

Googly Eyes

Brown Pipe Cleaners Wire

Scissors

Wire Cutters 1. Take the cork, and stick the googly eyes on the thicker part (top) of the cork 2. Stick the red pom pom on the bottom part of the cork

3. Make antlers out of the brown pipe cleaners by taking two equal lengths (about 5 centimeters), and twist shorter lengths of the pipe cleaners onto the end of the longer one, and bend the them into a more antler like shape 4. Poke the antlers into the top of the cork

5. Use some wire in a loop as a hook by pushing it into the top of the cork

3 5 8 6 w

VICTORIA WARD

Gaming Correspondent

2 3

TOP FIVE GAMES TO BUY A GAMER THIS CHRISTAMAS

Halo 5: Guardians – this is the ninth instalment in the Halo game franchise and is exclusive to Xbox One only. Continuing the Master Chief’s adventures, this game is perfect for those who are already Halo fans, with an amazing storyline and multiplayer. I highly recommend this game! Rated by Metacritic: 4/5 Fallout 4 – this is the fifth major instalment from Bethesda and this open-world game is set in post-apocalyptic Boston. Gameplay is similar to that of Fallout 3 and is available on both Xbox One and PlayStation 4. Rated by Metacritic: 4.5/5

Black Ops III – the twelfth game in the Call of Duty franchise that follows on from Black Ops II. Featuring the multiplayer, zombies and the campaign there is something for everyone on this game and if you loved the others, you will love this one too. Rated by Metacritic: 4/5

Rise of The Tomb Raider – an action-adventure game following on from the 2013 game Tomb Raider. Realised on Xbox One and Xbox 360 this is perfect for Christmas. Unfortunately PlayStation and Microsoft Windows players will have to wait until 2016. If you played the first one, this is a must have for Christmas! Rated by Metacritic 4.5/5 Star Wars Battlefront – if they love Star Wars, get it! Considered more of a reboot than a sequel this action first and third person shooter is perfect for Star Wars fans and is available on PlayStation 4, Xbox One and Microsoft Windows. Rated by Metacritic: 4/5

TOP FIVE ALTERNATIVE ACTIVITIES

C AT H E R I N E S Q U I B B Editor-at-Large

R Weirdoes for Christmas Number 1

Club de Fromage on Ice!

Sara Pascoe’s Christmas Assembly

Birdies Crazy Golf Underground

Street Art Walking Tours

Heroes Grotto of Comedy 8th Dec – 11th Dec

Alexandra palace Ice Rink 27th Nov – 11th Dec

Battersea Arts Centre 14th Dec – 23rd Dec

London Waterloo Tuesday – Sunday All year round.

East London Specialists Every day of the week

It is now the fourth annual alternative panto and many believe it’s a must see this Christmas. Basically, a group of out-there comedians get together to put on a stupidly silly, manic alternative panto and all the proceeds go to Great Ormond Street Hospital. This year it’s about a group of numpties trying to write a song to make this years Christmas number one. With a great cast of hysterical comedians it has to be a laugh. Go check it out!

Club De Fromage are taking us back to the classic Ice rink disco this Christmas. With a fully licensed bar, if you can’t ice skate, you will be able to here! With pop music that everyone will know, this is the perfect Christmas fun. Get a group together and head down to Alexandra Palace this Christmas!

From the comedian who has graced the Heythrop Common room, Sara Pascoe is back! The hilarious Pascoe will sing, perform fables and many celebrations this year at Battersea Arts Centre. It will feature some potentially future favourites, such as the mouse choir and Father Crispin’s Centipede. Who knows what is going to happen, but what is certain is expect laughs. Don’t expect much talk about God, but there will definitely some fantastic Christmas packed fun.

Birdies crazy golf is the new venture from the creators of the Rooftop Film Club. The subterranean underground golfing destination is fit for even the best to play. Its nine hole bespoke course has half-pipes and even has a 5ft drop onto the sixth hole. But it’s not all about the Golf; there is fine food, a cocktail Caddyshack and a line-up of top DJs over the Christmas period, so check it out! And £9 pp. is not bad.

Discover London and see art off the beaten track. These pay-what-youwant tours are fantastic and you get to learn about the past and present of the east end. On these incredible tours of London’s graffiti and street art scene you get to learn about the capitals cultural and creative hub. I went on a walking tour in the summer and learnt more than I could ever imagine. It was so interesting. From inside Brick lane to the City of London there was art everywhere. Wrap up warm and enjoy all the artwork you wouldn’t even notice if you just walked by.

MEGAN SKINGSLEY Editor-in-Chief

christmas coffee costa

nero

starbucks

Hot Chocolate

Not sure how I feel about these. There’s the caramel fudge which is great for about three sips then you regret you decisions to get something so sweet. The other is black forest, I was initially intrigued by it but they put a shot of blackberry syrup in itwas enough to put me off!

They don’t offer a Christmas special version, however their normal chocolate is pretty good and a nice winter warmer.

Sounds awful, can’t get past putting honey in hot chocolate. Their normal hot chocolate is nice though or just go for a java chip frappé.

Latte

Gingerbread: I preferred this to Starbucks, it tastes nicer and is in a reasonable cup. Their takeaway cups are cuter as well. And you get a mini gingerbread man on top of your cream (yes you would obviously order cream), ngl it’s worth it just for that!

Winter berry or spiced orange: disgusting idea. Sounded so wrong I actually left the cafe and went to Starbucks. I don’t see the appeal of putting fruit with coffee. Even Tom Hardy serving as my barista couldn’t have made me stay. Well...

Chestnut praline: very nice, although it does just taste like a nutty latte - not that Christmas-y. Gingerbread latte: very Christmas-y, also a bit sickly as their cups are HUGE only need a small. Eggnog: NO, don’t do it! It’s horrendous.

Specials

Salted caramel cappuccino: now I LOVE cappuccinos and was super excited to try this. But I have to say I was really disappointed, it tasted like a regular cappuccino (not that terrible in any case). Not great but they may have just forgotten the syrup in mine.

Amaretto latte: I know this should go under the latte section but it’s too good to be linked with the other two. Amaretto and coffee are a winning combination and this drink does not disappoint.

Mulled fruit drinks: apple or grape. Nice and not that sickly compared to other drinks. Will warm you up but lacks caffeine for me.

food

Turkey and trimmings toastie: this was AMAZING, easily the best thing on their menu. It was the best Christmas sandwich I have had. Go try it.

Cheese and cranberry panini: very nice. I like that they offer a vegetarian Christmas sandwich. The cranberries go well with the melted cheese.

They have opted for the Christmas salad this year. No. Just no. Christmas is not a time for watching the waistline. Although, if you are into that, it’s packed full of superfood, so is probably good for you.

8/10

2/10

6/10

6 7 LITTLE HAPPY THINGS

SONNET V - ON A MOMENT

SONNET IV

BEN MERCER

BARCOL

Return to me the love that was,

Tell us not that life has been foretold

Silent skies of grey rain

As every passing moment, lost;

Of its defining rules and limits set.

boom upon the white bricks

As the first turning of a page,

And tell us not that time may keep its hold;

as the kid plays without pain

As every closing of an age,

That we may come to ends with needs unmet.

chasing birds and throwing sticks.

Relieved to memories; then embossed

Please tell us not that we must all grow old,

His smile is a dawning sun

With tight-wound lattice of a frost,

But grant that we may not be ready yet

and his eyes glimmering candles,

Which covers all that, once decayed,

For truths that from the children you withhold;

with next to nothing he has fun

Will surely not see life again.

That all of life is payment of a debt.

and happiness is what he handles.

For every moment’s moment past;

No, give us time; grant a sweet reprieve;

‘Tis a life of misunderstandings,

It was lived once and at its last,

As youths who may enjoy a timeless day;

of secret and cryptic passions,

But oh! Remember how it shone,

Who notice not the falling of the leaves;

like plastic flowers as the sun shines

The brightest of the fading stars;

Whom nature shelters ‘neath her unchanging

or ribbons on a lonely shrine.

How can it ever be surpassed?

eaves

We are left wondering what’s left,

But it, as love, once had is gone.

Knowing not the coming winter as we play;

in this earth of thieves and thefts

‘til at our conquered prime we cease to breathe.

and the simple answer is that child

SONNET III OSCAR YUILL

and his little happy times. For when this life takes its toll

SONNET I

and we feel like a helpless doll,

BEN MERCER

we ought to smile as birds fly and gently forget how to cry,

Beauty’s Form’s in many forms of ours:

since life is the carefree things,

In statues proud and music sweet, gold

I have few lazy summers left.

Décor and stirring relics of fallen powers;

It with each passing autumn grows

But tis no made thing that’s perfect to behold.

Apparent; that my winters know

My love fresh seen to the heart is sky a-thun-

How many spring days they may take by theft.

der,

My hands, once sure, now seem less deft;

To the artist’s hues and sculptor’s toils immune;

I lack the strength I used to know.

Though David in his turn may time asunder,

And how cold now are the winds that blow

My love’s beauty to timeless beauty’s boon.

The leaves and I. And the world, bereft

And yet though artists’ works make beauty

Of the rising stars; they all must die.

fixed,

And all that once was young and gay

(What’s made becoming happy maker’s own),

Will fall to earth and dust again;

My love’s by mystic Nature’s palette mixed–

With no black shroud on which to lie.

Like timid birds have loved from lovers flown.

Ravenous time long held at bay

And so it is with forms of my own making

Brings to death the golden day

That I keep my weary heart from Eros breaking.

a lover’s eyes and what she thinks, a gentle breeze or a child’s play,

hence happiness sees the light of day. Fall asleep with a smile on your face,

wake up with your eyes filled of joy love ‘till your heart’s last pace, laugh, smile, be happy and enjoy

the little things, just like that boy.

K AT I E M I L N E Managing Editor

INGREDIENTS: Prosecco .25ml Chambord

METHOD:

Spiced Ginger Mojito

1. Fill a champagne flute 3/4 with Prosecco 2. Pour Chambord into a measuring jug 3. Pour Chambord into champagne flute slowly, very close to the rim of the glass. Chambord should sink to the bottom.

INGREDIENTS: 50ml Spiced Rum 1 Lime 1 tsp. Brown Sugar 3/4 glass Crushed Ice

Yuletide Bevs

Ginger Ale Handful Mint Candy Cane

METHOD: 1. Muddle 4-5 lime wedges in your glass

If you don’t have a fancy measure .25ml is roughly 1 ‘count’, about a second of pouring. We are all students here so if you don’t have the correct glass then just pour into that one that’s been in your kitchen for the past two years with no apparent owner. It’s Christmas; when you get too drunk to keep making cocktails just pour the spirits directly into your mouth for an easy alternative.

2. Add brown sugar, and mint 3. Fill glass with ice 4. Pour in rum

INGREDIENTS:

5. Top up with ginger ale 50ml Vodka 6. Garnish with candy cane and a straw

.25 oz. Peppermint Flavouring .75 oz. Cranberry Juice Orange Slice, to Garnish

METHOD:

Christmas Cosmo

1. Fill shaker with ice 2. Pour in all ingredients except orange 3. Shake hard 4. Strain into Martini glass and garnish with orange slice

A Touch of Sparkle

BEN MERCER Editor-at-Large

The Dionysian Supper INGREDIENTS: 1 bottle of red wine, reasonable quality. A Chianti, perhaps, or a Malbec, or a Bordeaux. 1 bottle of red wine, slightly cheaper. Merlot, say, or perhaps a Cabernet Sauvignon. (If required: 1 corkscrew) 2 large wine glasses. 1 bottle of whiskey, 75-100cl. A cheap single malt or a good blend. Strictly no bourbon. 2 nicely weighted whiskey tumblers. 1 most agreeable friend.

Optional: 1 platter of cheese and biscuits. Grapes if you are so inclined. n decent books. Collected and complete works are ideal; poetry is more practical than prose. 1 good quality film. 1 bottle of mulled wine.

METHOD: Memory presents me with precisely two moral and praiseworthy tales from the Bible. The first is Jesus’ most impressive miracle: turning water into wine. The second can be found under John 2:10: “And saith unto him, Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse: but thou hast kept the good wine until now.” The first can be safely assumed to be impossible to replicate, so you’ll have to cope with the minor inconvenience of buying your wine rather than obtaining it by transmutation. The latter, on the other hand, is sound advice. And so, when you sit down with your friend (in the most cosy and homely location you can find – ideally something dimly lit, with soft chairs and an open fire, and filled with the sounds of Bach or Stravinsky or Mozart), you should first uncork (or unscrew) and decant the more expensive of your two bottles of red. Large glasses are not essential, though they are to be preferred to their smaller cousins for two important reasons; one aesthetic and one practical. Not only does the bloodred ambrosia sit all the more comfortably in the larger glass, but it also allows for the wine to breathe, and for one to indulge in a

satisfying swirl. It also allows for conversation to progress without the inconvenience of frequent re-fills. There is no set rule to determine whether one should treat the whiskey as an interlude or as an epilogue to the wine, though it is altogether neater to avoid mixing the two. Finish one and then move on; two half-empty bottles with four half-empty glasses on the table may leave you open to accusations of alcoholism and even loutishness. Similarly, there is no codified law governing precisely what sort of wine – it may even be mulled given the time of year - or whiskey one should buy. You are more than welcome to indulge based on your preferences. The only steadfast and immutable law is this: Do not trust any wine simply called ‘Red’ (or the deceptive ‘Rouge’), the likes of which can be found in Tesco for less than £3; and on no account are you to lower yourself to the level of Bourbon. Bourbon is to whiskey what rape is to consensual sex – immoral, indicative of a sick and corrupted mind, and in exceptionally poor taste. It is generally advisable to imbibe at a slow and steady largo, and certainly no quicker than andante. Conversation is vital to the success of this recipe and it would not do for

you or your friend to be too quickly reduced to stupidity. (This very much depends on the strength of your conversation and your tolerance of alcohol. There can be no normative limit placed, you must simply know yourself.) Should you come to the end of your wine and whiskey but find yourself longing to prolong your blissful fervour then you may consider plundering the pantry or cellar or kitchen cupboard for one of the many bizarre and forgotten bottles that almost certainly linger there. (You may count yourself lucky if one or both of your parents are alcoholics in denial.) That strange purple liquid given to your mother three years ago, for example, or the long-lost remnants of a bottle of Baileys or Limoncello or Sake. Port and dessert wines are often unearthed and consumed in this way, and make for a small and sweet nightcap to round off the evening. Finally, take on several pints of water and be sure to place your paracetamol or ibuprofen or Alka-Seltzer within easy reach of your bed for the morning. Enjoy. 14

Pa vl ov a y C h ri st m as yo u be st ta a e at d C re w il l tr an sc en w re at h th at se s. Qu ic k , c h ea p, an d n yo n d yo u r se e w il l d ra g yo u fr om ip c re is d in to ea sy , th th e c av e an th e of rs be m u sl ol lo w th e fo od bl is s. F h ri st m as of t gh li e th e C w an d se e th m et h od be lo ld be fo re yo u r ey es . m ag ic u n fo g on po rt io n 10 d ep en d in Se rv es 8 to si z e.

INGREDIENTS:

METHOD:

Mering ue

Meringue: 1. Preheat oven to 150̊C/ 300̊F / gas 2.

6 Large Egg Whites 300g Sugar (caster is best) 1 pinch Sea Salt 1 tsp. Vanilla Extract (option al)

Fruit Sauce 400g Sainsbu ry’s Red Berry Mix, basics 150g Sugar

Cream 200ml Double Cream 2 tsp. Vanilla Extract

2. Whisk egg whites, sugar, salt and vanilla on a medium speed until firm (you should be able to tip the bowl upside down without the mixture falling out) 3. Take the mixture and evenly spoon the mixture onto the baking paper in the shape of a wreath

ANTONIA CHRISTOFI Cooking Correspondent

I Think Pavlova, Therefore I am

4. Place in the oven and leave for 1 hour. When cooked, take out of oven and allow to cool Fruit Sauce: 5. Get the saucepan to a medium heat and add frozen fruit 6. Once you begin to see the fruit break down into an even pulp, include the sugar 7. Reduce heat and leave to simmer for approximately 10 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 15 mins. Once taken from the heat, leave it to settle until it reaches room temperature Cream: 8. Whisk the double cream and vanilla until thick. Place in fridge and leave to chill Building: 9. Once the meringue and fruit sauce are at room temperature, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time for the fun!

10. Begin by placing your meringue wreath on a decorative plate (optional of course) 11. Scoop cream on top of the meringue and spread until even 12. Add the sauce over the cream and meringue, and place back into the fridge to set 13. Enjoy! And of course have a VERY Merry Christmas! :D

HEYTHROP CROSSWORD

(WITH HINTS OF LATIN)

51 55

7 38

5 17 19

64 67

65 68 71

ACROSS: 1) Peter ___ SJ, Heythrop lecturer. 9) Abbreviation for university. 11) The president’s name. 12) A Latin man. 14) Leonardo di Ser Piero ____ Vinci, Italian thinker, artist and engineer. 15) Writer of the 124 “Moral Letters to Lucilius” (Epistulae Morales ad Lucilius). 17) Initials of American philosopher famous for his counter arguments to reductionism (philosophy of mind) and author of the essay “What is it like to be a bat?”. 19) ‘General___’, political idea expressed by Rousseau. 21) Initials of Latin expression to define ‘that thing itself’, as seen in Soren Kierkegaard’s “The Crisis and A Crisis in the Life of an Actress”. 22) Initials of philosopher known for his insight in philosophy of mind and philosophy of language, especially with his thought of experiments such as ‘Brain in a Vat’ and ‘Twin Earth’. 23) Initials of the promise of Greek origin made by physicians and other medical practitioners. 24) Initials of the author of the book “Mathematical Principles of Natural Philosophy”. 25) Alternative spelling for Greek word for ‘origin’ as seen in Anaximander’s metaphysics. It is also the name of Thaumas’ daughter and Iris’ sister in Ancient Greek mythology. 27) Italian translation for ‘plus’ or ‘more’. 28) Initials of Theodor W. Adorno’s 1966 book regarding dialectics. Also, initials of a type of proof calculus in which logical reasoning is expressed by inference rules closely related to the ‘natural’ way of reasoning. 29) Acronym of a monthly radical activist magazine founded in 1973, based Oxford and aimed at reporting on inequality and world justice. 30) When it_____, it pours. 32) Follows the cogito. 33) Mao ____, leader of the Chinese communism. 35) ___ Urbe Condita libri CXLII, Tito Livio’s collection of books on the history of Rome from its beginnings. 36) “Your” in texting. 37) But it’s in Latin. 39) Adjective for Leibniz’s impenetrable basic substance which is the basis of physical reality in his Metaphysics. 41) Nickname for the Argentinian Marxist revolutionary. 43) Garment used as a symbol of Roman culture and citizenship. 44) Stephen ____, Author of ‘A Brief History of Time’. 45) The Latin term for ‘’ in Logic. 46) Italian pronunciation of the letter N. 48) Follows LSD. 49) In politics, abbreviation given to European Parliament member which are not enrolled in any political group of the European Parliament. 50) First word of the book title (translated in English) in which Nietzsche anaylises the what ‘good’ and ‘evil’ mean. 52) ‘____ politikon’, Aristotelian term for the human being as a “social animal”. 54) Initials of this crossword’s writer. 55) Emmanuel _______, philosopher known for his work on transcendence and on the impact on the individual when encountering other people. 58) The Latin term for ‘’ in Logic. 60) Initials of Algerian-born French philosopher closely known for his analogy of the human condition to the myth of Sisyphus. 61) Described religion as the opium of the people. 62) Initials of present day Cuban-born American analytic philosopher, mainly focused on Epistemology. 63) Alongside a quill and paper. 64) Paul Churchland’s book regarding neurophilosophy and philosophy of mind “The Engine of Reason, the ____ of the Soul”. 66) ___/ought problem, also known as Hume’s guillotine. 68) Umberto ___, Italian novelist and essayist known for his influence in semiotic studies. 70) Former name of Saint Petersburg, name associated with a famous siege. 71) “___ of Logic”, textbook from William of Ockham, known for the metaphysical discussion regarding the problem of universals.

S T E F A N B A R R AT HSU Vice President

DOWN: 1) William ________, known for his “fire case” involving Archbishop Fenelon. 2) Modern day philosophical writer and TV presenter, famous for his “Essays in Love” and TV Series “Philosophy: A Guide to Happiness”. 3) In Neo-Confucianism’s metaphysics, the term used to describe ‘natural order’ or ‘natural law’. Alternatively, the initials of Belgian-born French feminist, known for her works “Speculum of the Other Woman” and “This Sex Which Is Not One”. 4) 55 in Latin. 5) “___ alienum’, Latin expression for ‘money that belongs to someone else’. 6) Nationality of Pyrrho, accredited to be the founder of skepticism. 7) Made by God with a rib. 8) Full name of the author of “The Selfish Gene”. 10) What nothing comes from (according to Ancient Greek philosopher Parmenides after analyzing that the being is and cannot not be). 13) Epic ___ Battles of History, YouTube show where important characters and people confront each other to see who is best, including Nietzsche, Socrates and Voltaire against Laozi, Confucius and Sun Tzu. 16) Famous philosopher who was affected by dementia probably due to syphilis. Died in 1900 in Weimar, Germany. 18) Aristotelian term to describe ‘intellect’, which distinguishes humans from animals. 20) Private ____, concept expressed in the book “Philosophical Investigations”. 26) Patrick _____ SJ, Heythrop lecturer. 27) Controversial claim from Bentham which states that “push___ is of equal value with the arts and sciences of music and poetry”. 31) Initials of the English translation of the first and last letters of the Greek alphabet. 34) Abbreviation of Aristotelian work on Ethics, believed to have preceded the Nicomachean Ethics and named after one of his pupils. 35) Symbol for the chemical element Americium. 38) Stuttgard-born German Idealist. 40) Initials of Francis Bacon’s work introducing what will be subsequently called the Baconian method, a new system of logic which he reputed better than the previous methods of syllogism. 41) Sovereign political entities which governed in Ancient Greece. 42) Initials of quarterly scientific journal which covers human behavior from a biological and asocial aspect, published by Springer Science+Business Media. 45) Freudian term for the part of one’s personality which balances impulses and rationality. 47) Philosopher who came up with “the experience machine” thought experiment, amongst other things. 49) A famous ark. 51) ___ Beauvoir, surname of famous feminist. 53) Initials of logical positivist, a major representative of the Vienna Circle, famous for his work on sociology and economics, founder of the Unity of Science movement and writer of “Anti-Spengler” and “Physicalism”. 55) Contraction of ‘will’ or ‘shall’. 56) Willard ___ Orman Quine, American analytic philosopher. 57) Starting point or premise. 58) The one of ignorance is famous. 59) ____ est percipi (George Berkeley). 61) Type of postgraduate degree. 63) “The Structure of ____”, the most well-known work from philosopher and academic Shūzō Kuki, reputed one of the most influential pieces in Japanese Aesthetics. 65) For Macchiavelli, it justifies the means. 67) “Either/___”, first work published by Søren Kierkegaard. 69) Abbreviation for an evangelical student group within a university (in the Heythrop Students’ Union they have a society).

6 7 5

HOROSCOPES Aries

Taurus

Gemini

Cancer

Mar 21 - Apr 19

Apr 20 - May 20

May 21 - Jun 20

Jun 21- Jul 22

The new year will definitely, 100% bring different things for you than this year. Unless, of course, you’re stuck in some kind of year-long loop in which case you already know your future, why do you need me?

This week is the week to think about dumping your significant other to avoid buying Christmas presents. I’m sure you guys will pick it right back up from where you left it once the festivities have passed.

No matter your beliefs, your Jupiter is humming ‘Let it Snow’ and it will definitely get stuck in your head until you want to scream.

Maybe don’t go for it this week. I’m, like, 78% sure that it’s not going to be okay if you do. It’s up to you to decide if 78% is a risk you’re willing to take. I’m staying out of it from here.

Leo

Virgo

Libra

Jul 23 - Aug 22

Aug 23 - Sep 22

Sep 23 - Oct 22

If your name is Mary, Pluto is telling me that your baby boy will one day rule the nations. Score! They’re also saying he’ll walk on water, and that sounds a little far-fetched, so I’m not actually that sure...

This month you will find your days merry and bright, and it would seem that all your Christmasses are going to be white.

Bob Geldof is your star-planet triumphant this month. Try feeding the world; it’ll do wonders for your charitable organization’s bank account.

Sagittarius

Nov 22 - Dec 21 Santa is a Sagittarius, y’know. When he’s not delivering presents for that one day of the year, he enjoys shooting things with arrows. How do you think he nabbed all those reindeer?

Capricorn

Dec 22 - Jan 19 I looked up and the light from all the Christmas lights in the street blocked out the stars - that and the despicable smog that encapsulates this city. Try asking Santa for some clean air on your Christmas list if you want advice via the stars from me next time.

Aquarius

Jan 20 - Feb 18 You look over your gifts on Christmas morn. 36? 36?! Well last year, LAST YEAR you had 37! You don’t care how big they are. It’s okay. Daddy will buy you two new presents when you go to the zoo.

Scorpio

Oct 23 - Nov 21 The festivities may get a bit too much for you this Yuletide. If you celebrate, beware of eggnog. If not, beware of people who’ve had a little too much eggnog.

Pisces

Feb 19 - Mar 20 Oh, the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful... oh, g*ddamnit!