April 2014

A P RI L 2 0 1 4

THE

HIGHLAND

PHLEGM LIKE THE PHOTO, NOT THE LINK Ana Miletic ’14 knows more than anyone that likes don’t come easy.

Please Like Me W

Golden Globes

hile most high school students are out doing cutting edge research in university laboratories or raising thousands of dollars for charities, Ana Miletic ’14 chooses to spend her time grooming her social media presence. “Facebook is everything to me,” she paused, swiped through her phone and continued. “It’s more than a social network. It’s a lifestyle. I’m also on Yelp, Twitter, Foursquare, Instagram, Vine, LinkedIn, Pinterest, Tumblr, Google Plus, and more, but I don’t want to bore you.”

I looked away for a minute to sneeze, and when I looked back, Miletic was Skyping with her grandmother. “Oh, Grandma, I’m doing an interview right now. Got to go.

Love you. Text me. Bye.” She looked up, “Sorry about that. People are just always trying to get ahold of me.”

And it shows; the senior recently reached a social media milestone: 100 likes (and counting) on her Facebook profile picture.

Ana Miletic went through a long and harrowing journey to take the now-legendary picture. “Terry [Richardson] snapchated me and was like ‘Boo, let me take some pictures of you.’ But of course, I had to decline because Terry and I have such vastly different aesthetics. His style just isn’t me,” she drawled.

INSIDE

“That got me thinking—who am I? It was such a difficult hour for me. All these issues of meaning and purpose and fulfillment started bubbling up. But at least some good

tweets came out of it. I tweeted about my existential crisis and some other pseudointellectual gibberish. Lorde thought I was subtweeting her and she blocked me. I can’t with that girl. Anyway, I hadn’t gotten any Facebook notifications in the last hour, so I thought something was up.

I went to my Facebook app,” Miletic’s speech slowed and fists clenched. “And there were no notifications.” Her face darkened, she bit her lower lip, and a single tear fell from her left eye.

Miletic’s voice dipped, “I didn’t know what I did to deserve it. I felt so alone. It was literally the worst day of my entire life. Gloria Steinem did not go to the barricades for this.”

“I decided to get a new Facebook picture,” her voice rose.

“But this time, I wouldn’t settle for a measly 80 likes. Steven [Meisel] took my last picture, and he’s an okay photographer but I needed someone who could take me to the next level. I texted Annie [Leibovitz] and she was shooting Charlize [Theron] for Vogue, but the last time Charlize was nominated for an Academy Award was 2005 and she’s dating Sean Penn so she’s clearly in a dark place and totally irrelevant. Annie cancelled the shoot midway and took the next flight for Highland Park International Airport aka my backyard. (Side note: Anna [Wintour] unfriended me on Facebook because of the kerfuffle.) We had a 5-hour shoot in Donaldson Park. Being around goose poop made the photos that much more authentic.” Miletic wore a custom Alexander Wang creation, accessorized with a Proenza Schouler clutch, Fred Leighton platinum fringe

necklace, and Bottega Veneta heels. Her entire outfit cost upwards of $70,000.

“It’s not easy being popular,” she said, flipping her hair.

“Getting 129—130—likes on my picture took hard work.

Once I had the photos, I had to post them at just the right time to maximize the amount of likes. For the past two months, I measured the level of Facebook activity at different times and built a logistic regression model to calculate the peak time and optimize user engagement. That linear algebra class I took at Rutgers last summer really paid off.” She stopped to show me the complex mathematical process she posted on Instagram. Numbers lay strewn across the photo; lines branched and intercrossed. It was a storm of statistics.

She posted the photo on Saturday, at 3:03.78 PM EST. Following a flurry of likes, pushing her ever so close to the elusive 100, activity died down at about 95 likes. “I was so mad. It was all for nothing. Only losers have Facebook profile pictures with likes only in the double digits,” Miletic fumed.

But not one to give up, she programmed a bot to automatically share her picture every two minutes. “But then people liked the link and not the actual picture. It was so frustrating. Like, who does that?” She started to tear at her hair in aggravation over the memory. “I was forced to pay Facebook to promote my picture—$30 per click.

How embarrassing. It must have seemed like I was trying too hard.”

news

opinion

feature

arts

sports

Stephen’s Stash

Horrifying New Hobbies: Flappy and Squishy?

(Bird, of course)

Severe Senioritis Spreading

Is Ms. K the Next Oprah?

Front Lines of Fashion

Playa Profiles: Flirting Tips from Sophia Gillerman and Lucas Marin!

(p. 10)

(p. 11)

(p. 3)

Backlash against President Brennan (p. 4)

(p. 5)

Like the Flu

(p. 10)

(p. 7)

New Clowning Class (p. 8)

2

Rutgers Model Congress Cancelled

U

Andamir Sirfa

nfortunately, the Rutgers Model Congress (RMC) conference originally set to take place from April 3 to April 6 at the Hyatt Regency Hotel in New Brunswick has been cancelled. Members of the Highland Park High School MUNC (Model United Nations and Congress) Club will be deeply disappointed to learn that their months of preparation will be all for naught.

“I’m mostly mad because I actually did my position papers for this conference. At RUMUN, I made Doug [Lucas Irvine ’15] do all the research. I finally understand a Republican’s stance on immigration reform, and all my research was for nothing. What use is knowing about federal sentencing guidelines if I can’t win an award for it?” complained Chris Zhou ’15.

This would have been the third conference of the year for the booming club. Recently, a small group of delegates attended the Philadelphia Model United (PhilMUN) conference, which was a massive success.

Delegates returned with numerous awards including Outstanding Small Delegation.

Without RMC, many seniors will be unable to experience their final conference, as only a few seniors attended PhilMUN.

news

A Bright Idea

S

G. Pseudonym

imon Garcia ’16 abruptly awoke in the middle of the night to the sound of broken glass. “Who’s there?” the sleepy sophomore screeched, as his hands blindly searched the wall for the light switch. For a while, there was an eerie silence, broken only by a faint rhythmic taps on the wooden floor. Simon found the light switch and put his index finger beneath it. As he lifted the switch, there was a crash as his lamp was knocked down from the ceiling.

Startled and still blinded in the darkness, Simon started to flail his arms in hopes of hitting the intruder. He heard the sound of his hamster cage being smashed open…his hamster Rocko’s frantic squealing...wings beating the air...and finally, a loud whoosh.

Seeing a blur shoot out of his window, he ran towards it, and it was through the smashed window that Simon identified the silhouette of his midnight intruder: a barn owl with the doomed hamster squirming in its claws.

The following day, there was a record-breaking march down Main Street— the March for Rocko. Simon led the angry protesters, who demanded mascot reforms, raising signs that read, “Owls Are Foul!” and “Let’s Elect Light Bulbs!”

At the end of the march, Simon gave an emotional speech to the crowd about the symbol of the light bulb, how it could have saved Rocko by allowing him to see.

In his speech, he also called on the Board of Education to change the Highland Park mascot from the owl to the light bulb.

As a result, the Board of Education held an emergency meeting last week to discuss the issue. There was an intensely heated debate at the meeting between the majority arguing for the light bulb and the minority fighting to keep the owl.

One elderly man, an alumnus of Highland Park High School, told the crowd, “The owl has been Highland Park’s beloved mascot for decades! How can we part our ways with such a great mascot that has led us through championship victories and losses alike?” His remark was quickly shot down by the opposition, who labeled the owl as a “…cold murderer… [that] poops on your head.”

The fiery debate continued until midnight, when the vote was held. A total of 537 people voted, and the light bulb won in a landslide, crushing its opponent with 95% of the votes. When the results were announced, Simon thanked his supporters, saying, “It’s a new chapter in history for Highland Park.”

Effective today, April 1, the official mascot of the Highland Park School District is the light bulb, and the official school color is white. The light bulb is a fitting mascot for our school. First, a light bulb emits light, so it symbolizes the bright minds of the students of Highland Park.

Also, it parallels the amount of energy our students have and their burning passion for everything they do, including sports, music, and visual arts. Lastly, the new mascot displays the eco-friendly attitude of our community, as it is a fluorescent light bulb. In fact, the light bulb mascot idea was so appealing to the high school that it has planned to remove the dome on top of the school and, in place of it, build a lighthouse.

However, not everyone views the new mascot so favorably. Nearby school districts have ridiculed our mascot, calling it “a joke” and pointing out the fact that “it isn’t even an animal.” The Edison school district has even threatened to file a lawsuit against its Highland Park counterpart for stealing the invention of the man whom their town is named after.

Nonetheless, Simon continues to defend the light bulb. “We should be proud of our new unique mascot. Who cares what others say?” he said. “Animals are too mainstream, anyway.”

“

Our country is in such trouble that even Model Congress is not working.

“

M r . G old H ighland P ark ’ s R esident E conomist / P olitical A nalyst

“Now that I can’t debate in the 1973 Congressional ad hoc Committee, the robber barons of the Gilded Age will surely take over the economy,” lamented Tabitha Lumour-Mensah ’14, who was set to represent James Blaine. “This RMC was my last opportunity to protect our children and better our future.”

The reasons behind the cancellation seem to be related to a double booking by the Hyatt. The hotel allegedly scheduled two conferences at once and only realized just days before the start of RMC. The Hyatt claimed the mistake was due to a system error in their computers. The hotel has stated that there will be no refunds.

Mr. Gold, one of the advisors for the club, sorrowfully compared the cancellation to the current state of Congress, “Our country is in such trouble that even Model Congress is not working.” For further information, members of MUNC should contact the club officers.

SHINING BRIGHT Meet Highland Park’s new mascot, Sunny! C’mon everybody, do the lightbulb beat.

THE HIGHLAND PHLEGM, APRIL 2014

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news

Teacher Sells to High School Students

E

Ellis Wiseman

ver since Highland Park chemistry teacher, Ms. Stephen, began her innovative business at Highland Park High School selling cookies, students have been happily consuming and taking home her high-quality products with very few complaints. Luckily, students and teachers alike have accepted this strange turn of events and celebrate Ms. Stephen’s new status as a reputable cookie dealer.

“It’s very normal at Highland Park for a teacher to be selling to us,” articulated

Becca Chant ’15 about the cookie dealing.

“I try to consume them alone because I know Grace Chong will try to steal them from me.”

When questioned if Ms. Stephen’s products cause any strong physical effects, Chant replied, “Yes, my [track] times are dropping really fast…It’s crazy but last week I ran out [of cookies] and I had the slowest practice!”

As a cookie seller, Ms. Stephen offers a huge amount of variety in her products.

There are chocolate, vanilla, and even

lemon flavors available! Of course, just straight up plain is always an option for the true die-hard cookie user. Anyone can afford a cookie fix, at a cheap price of only $4 per ten ounces.

Lucas Trevor ’17 commented, “I think they are a real problem. I admit I buy from Ms. Stephen myself...but I sort of feel ashamed about my bad habit. This one time, Niko walked past my locker while I was consuming some cookies. His only comment was, ‘You’ve got a pretty big stash.’”

When asked if she felt guilty for selling potentially unhealthy products to young children, Ms. Stephen pointed out, “The customers find me and [the cookies] are worth the price. We are doing a service by helping out younger girls and getting a good product at the same time.”

And the science teacher even consumes her own products at times. “My favorite ones are the lemonade [flavored]. After all, teachers love cookies too,” Ms. Stephens admitted.

COOKIE CARTEL Science teacher Ms. Stephen has been cooking up some delicious treats in her lab, and students are hooked.

Leadheads W

G. Pseudonym

hat began as a normal English class in Mr. Roche’s room ended with the suspension of two students, one bag of confiscated lead, and a very horrified and concerned parent body.

The whole ordeal played out in a matter of minutes, starting with a commotion in the back of the classroom. Although high school students are infamous for their unruly behavior, Mr. Roche had an uncanny suspicion that this time, something was up, and it wasn’t good.

“I just knew right away that these young’uns were up to no good,” he told The Phlegm.

His hunch brought him to a desk in the back of the classroom, where he found two students arguing about whether or not they had shaved down their lead to the right size. The desk was covered with dark smears and traces of black powder, and the students, under the influence of the substance, continued to bicker about the thickness of the lead.

When he asked the students what they were doing, one of them growled, “Can’t you see we’re busy here, you Poe-phile pedagogue?” Shocked by both the student’s scathing insult and his impressive vocabulary, Mr. Roche froze for a second, then, once he gathered his wits, seized the graphite contrabands and called Dr. Williams.

Regardless of the thickness, lead has been shown to have extremely harmful effects on the user, including the ability to voice one’s inflammatory opinions and the capability of vandalizing the school walls with

grayscale graffiti.

The only hope of eradicating this leaden addiction seems to be a bar of pink rubber.

The principal rushed down to the classroom and took the students to the main office, where they were shortly apprehended by the police. Since then, there have been numerous arrests by the police in Highland Park for illegal possession and use of lead.

The high prevalence of these so-called “leadheads,” many of them students, have raised serious concerns in our community, and worried parents have taken action, forming groups such as “Lead Against Lead” and DULL (“Decrease Use of Lethal Lead”).

The police told The Phelgm that most of the lead users they arrest possess 0.5 lead, the weakest form. However, they have arrested several 0.7 users and even some hardcore leadheads, who use the 0.9 form, the strongest concentration on the market.

LEAD-ERS First “bath salts,” now pencil lead: Highland Park faces an epidemic of recreational pencil lead use.

APRIL 2014, THE HIGHLAND PHLEGM

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news

The Phlegm’s Ad-diction Elliot Silverwoman

T

he Highland Phlegm has brokered some serious advertising partnerships with major corporations.

No longer will the school newspaper suffer financially year to year. The Phlegm now features advertisements from companies like Apple, Microsoft, Disney, and much more. There are advertisements for movies like The LEGO Movie and Frozen, and for electronics like iPads and iPhones. But that’s not all! There are also advertisements for blenders, microwaves, toasters, 1970s Rolling Stone albums, honey, clothing, sports equipment, time machines, and much more.

Gone are the days of Phelgm staffers begging for financial backing from local businesses. Now, it is the businesses begging The Phelgm for space in its issues.

So many businesses are clamoring for advertisements, dropping suitcases of money outside Mr. Roche’s room, that The Phelgm had to hire a financial consultant to handle the influx of money.

The Phlegm has the same high-quality advertisements as those shown in newspapers and magazines. These advertisements bring in a lot of cash—millions, in fact! This newfound cash flow will allow The Phelgm to print full color each issue and compensate writers for their work.

EM-bezzlement

O

Bryce Ickle

n March 24, Student Council President Emmet Brennan was impeached by Student Congress on charges of perjury, obstruction of justice, and embezzlement. He was convicted by the Highland Park High School Supreme Court and has since been removed from office. Vice President Harry Landis, as per the terms of the Student Government Constitution, has been put in place as President. Brennan is barred from attending Rutgers Model Congress this weekend, and must complete 30 hours of community service.

This constitutional crisis followed a weeklong investigation by the Baking Investigations Committee chaired by Treasurer Chris Zhou. On March 6, an anonymous source revealed that the weekly bake sales held by the Student Council Baking Committee were not bringing in revenue.

Mr. Gold, Student Council faculty advisor, decided it was up to the kids to investigate. “I assumed there was a cost overrun and that a simple cost-benefit analysis would reveal where savings could be made—what the investigation uncovered was much more sinister.”

The committee—granted subpoena power by Dr. Williams—uncovered that President Emmet Brennan had been pocketing the proceeds of the bake sales and depositing them into a slush fund containing over $20. Brennan testified at committee hearings that he had no knowledge of where the money had gone—but a search warrant obtained by the committee revealed the missing money was hidden in his locker.

Massive Feral Cats Invade High School Andamir Sirfa Massive feral cats have been roaming the halls of Highland Park High School to the alarm of teachers and students alike. The cats, ranging from one to three feet in length, gradually emerge in the evening as soon as the sun sets.

It appears that the cats arrived with the new janitor Jim, a native of Australia, where massive feral cats have destroyed ecosystems in the Northern Territory. Jim denied any involvement in aiding the feral felines’ entrance into the school, but he is the only likely suspect. Currently the catty issue seems to be contained, but the future remains uncertain.

Some female students in the school fail to see the problem

GOING ONCE, GOING TWICE... The Highland Phlegm has bidders for advertising space, paying up to six figures!

Image courtesy of Jana Choi ’15.

THE HIGHLAND PHLEGM, APRIL 2014

BRENNAN-GATE The Supreme Court’s Head Justice Eli Liebell-McLean ’ 14 speaks on the arrest of President Emmet Brennan ’14 for fraud at his press conference last week.

with feral cats invading the school, arguing that the cats keep unwanted pests at bay. Emily Lanaris ’14 believes the felines should remain in the high school, stating, “I love these cats! I’ve been visiting them at night.” Lanaris has been bringing food in the evening for the animals.

Many students have been asking where the cats hide during the day. It is suspected that they hide in the unused trainer’s room. Elizabeth Murphy ’14 suggests that the cats be used as lunchmeat: “These cats are not sweet or cute like kittens. They are vicious and it would save the school money if they could be used as food in the cafeteria.” While the jury is still out on our feral felines, students and teachers are warned to stay clear of the trainer’s room during the day.

CATCULUS Highland Park is currently suffering from a feline invasion. Students and faculty alike must Image courtesy of Amit Miretzky ’14.

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opinion

The New Addiction: The Newer Addiction: Squishy Bird Flappy Bird

F

Little Orphan

or those who have not heard, there is a new addicting game sweeping Highland Park— called Flappy Bird and available on your smartphone, android, or tablet. Flappy Bird has a seemingly boring and basic objective: Tap the screen to make a bird fly through pipe openings without hitting them. Sounds simple, right? Wrong. Not only is this game difficult, it is also life-consuming.

Many Highland Park students are in denial about their addiction. A typical response to, “Are you addicted to Flappy Bird?” was “No, that game is stupid.” Yet these same students could instantly rattle off their high score.

The Phlegm went on a mission to figure out how big of a problem Flappy Bird really is. Various students were asked, “How does Flappy Bird make you feel?”

Every answer was negative. One student cried, “It makes me feel terrible. Sometimes when I get a high score I get a sense of euphoria, but it’s so short-lived because I feel like I have to get higher and higher scores.”

So if everyone seemingly hates the game,

why do they play it? The answer is sad and simple: Flappy Bird is addicting. It is hurting the lives of many of our peers.

Another student, who wished to remain anonymous, explained, “I play it in class when the teacher isn’t looking. It’s hard to pay attention because all I’m thinking about is my high score. Consequentially, my grades have dropped.”

To the Highland Park community, we need to find a solution to help those addicted to Flappy Bird. This game is no joke. The creator of the game has already taken it down because he realized how addicting it became. We should follow in his footsteps, but it would be damaging to immediately delete Flappy Bird from the students’ devices. Instead, the school needs to create a support group for those struggling with addiction to Flappy Bird.

Furthermore, teachers, it is important to treat students who play the game in class as having a problem, not as being disrespectful or obnoxious. Maybe send them to the Teen Center where they can look at some underlying causes that prompted them to start doing Flappy Bird in the first place. Together, we can stop this addiction in our school, and end the reign of Flappy Bird.

editor-in-chief Oscar Lee layout editor Zoe Temple business manager Maddie Hehir head of photography Zoe Temple online editor Elena Weissmann news editor Sarah Cheng feature editor Jana Choi opinion editor Maddie Hehir sports editor Olivia Draper arts editor Elena Weissmann advisor Brett Roche

S

Anita Shoe

weeping the nation of late has been a violent anti-bird movement.

People carry pipes in their pockets, clearly with destructive intent, and whenever the opportunity presents itself, they pound innocuous yellow birds to pulp. They do this at all times of day, without regret, and even seemingly innocent people take perverse pleasure in this hostile act. Often, they can be heard saying, “I hate this squishy bird!” or “Squishy Birds are the worst yet.” Low muttering, clenched teeth and red-faces are common indicators of a person fresh off this brutal diversion.

Behavioral psychologists deem it a startling but not unprecedented response to the furor generated by Angry Birds.

A particularly outspoken woman declared, “Last time, the birds were angry. Now, I’m the one who’s angry.”

The psychologists say that while it is not uncommon, this addiction is a serious issue. “Who know what permanent psychological damage it could create?” asks a therapist. “I’ve had a dozen people come in already for hour-long sessions to discuss the trauma these birds have caused them.”

The telltale signs of the escalating uproar are shown by the ever-present furtive whispers: “How many did you squish last time?” People take guilty pleasure in the inevitable squirts of blood, cringing the first time but growing to like it.

This reporter witnessed an anonymous passerby being introduced to the gory sport. At first it elicited a wince. Then onlookers clamored to be the next to squish some birds. Everyone keeps track of their personal best, and this topic has recently topped the weather as a way to break the ice with strangers. On first date, people who used to ask for the other’s dating history now ask for a different kind of track record: “What’s the most you’ve ever gotten?”

Everyone does it, but no one wants to admit quite how much they enjoy it. The recent flood of YouTube videos of people flaunting their exploits show that this is nowhere near over. Is the long-predicted epidemic of violence brought on by video games finally happen­ing? Is this the end of the ubiquitous yellow bird? The proliferation of squished birds appearing in public spots everywhere would suggest not.

writers Shana Oshinskie, Tia Wangli, Amita Shukla, Jisu Jeong, Miranda Safir, Annie McCrone, Eli Liebell-McLean, Gabriel Trevor, Eli Copperman, Camryn Kozachek, Olivia Bridges, Michio Tanaka Max Broggi-Sumner illustrators & photographers Jisu Jeong, Amit Miretzky, Olivia Bridges

the official newspaper of highland park high school highland park, new jersey 08904 . thehighlandfling@gmail.com . hpfling.tumblr.com . facebook.com/hpfling . @hpfling APRIL 2014, THE HIGHLAND PHLEGM

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feature

Perfect Prom Dates Sarah Cheng

Spring—the season of courtship and blossoming passion. As the biological clock starts ticking, many seniors discover amorous sentiments within themselves that were not there before. Fortunately, the upcoming prom provides a possible outlet for these seniors to express their newfound love to the objects of their affections. The Phlegm interviewed a few couples who will be going to senior prom together to uncover how their budding romances came to be.

Couple #1: Harry Landis and his soccer ball

Couple #2: Mr. Kruger and Rocky

How long have you guys been together?

How did you ask him to go to prom?

Harry Landis Well, the dating thing is pretty new, but we have been together as friends since I was in elementary school. We have been inseparable since then.

Rocky woof woof, howl, arf, woof arf

When did your relationship transform from friends to more-than-friends?

Harry Landis It’s kind of like that Taylor Swift song—I woke up and found that what I’ve been looking for has been here the whole time. We simply belong together.

Mr. Kruger At first I thought it was a coincidence that he kept following me around the house, so I thought he was hungry and got him some kibbles. But then he started arranging them to form letters… “P”… “R”… “C”… I didn’t get to see the rest of his masterpiece because he ran out of kibbles, but I got the message. I was preparing my rejection speech when he changed my mind by preparing my favorite dish: confit de roadkill. I mean, who can reject that?

Rocky arf!

Couple #3: Daniel Zhu and Calcutta (the graphing calculator)

Couple #4: Lucas Marin and himself

What makes Calcutta the perfect partner?

When did you realize you were perfect for yourself?

Daniel Zhu Well, Calcutta will never lie to me or cheat on me, will always be drama-free, and will always stay by my side.

Lucas Marin It was a working process… Every morning when glancing in the mirror I got sucked in a little bit more… I think it just hit me one day that there was nobody better in the world.

How did you feel about having to purchase Calcutta’s services?

Daniel Zhu It was a worthwhile investment.

THE HIGHLAND PHLEGM, APRIL 2014

How do you plan on strengthening your relationship?

Lucas Marin I guess work out more? I feel like I’m at my best when working out in the gym, and I’m sure we would appreciate each other most then. Singing love songs in the shower is also good.

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feature

Senioritis WHAT IS SENIORITIS? Senioritis is an illness most commonly found in students in their final year of high school. It is generally characterized by a decline in motivation or academic performance; teens often refer to it as “when you leave your backpack in your car trunk from 3 pm to 8 am.”

WHAT CAUSES SENIORITIS? The direct causes of senioritis are unknown. However, research suggests that the closer a student is to graduation, the less inclined they become to finish, or even start, their school work. In some cases, senioritis may begin as early as junior year.

SYMPTOMS Symptoms include laziness and a wardrobe consisting primarily of tee shirts, sweatpants, athletic shorts, and sweatshirts. Other symptoms include nonexistent studying, skipping classes, resentment from taking hard classes, repeated absences, and a generally dismissive attitude.

WHAT INCREASES YOUR RISK? Senioritis affects students of all ages, sexes, and races. Nevertheless, studies have shown that students who find themselves taking nonsensical courses and questioning the validity of “the system” contract senioritis much faster.

PREVENTION Only some are born with a natural immunity to senioritis. Otherwise, this illness is inevitable for the majority of high school students.

TREATMENT Continue to slack off for the rest of senior year, doing whatever you want. You will be cured after graduation.

COMPILED BY: Olive Curtains

SECOND SEMESTER-ISM Seniors will do anything to avoid doing work—check their phones, take a nap, doodle, gossip with friends, even hide under desks. (Bonus points if you can spot Ms. Finklin in this photo!)

APRIL 2014, THE HIGHLAND PHLEGM

8

feature

COMPILED BY: Auntie Lee THE HIGHLAND PHLEGM, APRIL 2014

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feature

Spring into the Kitchen: Perfect Recipes for Spring Make the Most of Your Meat: Confit de Roadkill Bok Choy When asked about his feelings about “unconventional game meat,” Mr. Kruger was shy to answer. He told The Highland Phlegm, “I’m not going to share any advice because I don’t want kids eating road kill if they don’t know what they’re doing.”

Ingredients 1 pound side-of-the-road meat, butchered accordingly 2 sticks unsalted butter 1 onion, diced

But after some persuasion, he opened up, lamenting that, “We [as a society] have weird prescriptions against eating things—it makes no sense.” Mr. Kruger, our in-house biology teacher, biking connoisseur, hand-sanitizer aficionado, and part-time road kill chef shared that there’s nothing wrong with eating squirrel, pheasant, and rabbit meat off the asphalt (after it’s been properly cooked of course!) as long as one has inspected it. There must be no vermin wriggling about, and the animal’s guts must be intact. Other than that, it’s all fair game.

1 carrot, diced

However, The Phelgm must remind readers to be mindful of their health and not eat any questionable meat found along the side of the road. Also, don’t forget to inform anyone at potential dinner parties or family meals about the origins of the meat they are about to consume. Mr. Kruger told The Phlegm, with a crafty glint in his eye, “I fed [road kill pheasant] to my brother once. He got very angry.”

Microgreens, optional

1 zucchini or summer squash, diced 2 large potatoes, diced 1 tsp each of chopped fresh rosemary, thyme, and parsley 1 tbsp olive oil Salt and pepper, to taste

Instructions 1. Season meat with salt and pepper 2. Clarify butter by simmering on the stovetop over medium heat for 30 minutes, skimming off foam occasionally, 3. Preheat oven to 250 °F 4. Combine clarified butter, meat, and chopped herbs in a heavy Dutch oven. Braise in oven for 3 hours.

5. Toss vegetables with olive oil, salt, and pepper. Sauté over medium heat until soft.

6. To plate, serve the Confit de Roadkill over the vegetables and garnish with microgreens

In our efforts to promote sustainably sourced meat and new experiences, The Phlegm would like to share a recipe for Confit de Roadkill. Enjoy!

Baked Revenge: Brownies Pseudo Nym Baker This is a recipe for brownies. Do not eat the brownies.

Give them to a friend, sibling, or enemy.

Ingredients

Instructions

2 cups of chocolate chips, divided equally in 2 measuring cups

1. Preheat oven to 350 °F.

3 eggs ½ cup margarine 1 cup sugar 1 tsp vanilla 1 ¼ cup flour

2. Melt margarine and 1 cup of chocolate chips on stove until melted.

3. Take margarine/chocolate mixture off of the stove, and beat in eggs 1 at a time.

4. Add in sugar, vanilla, flour, and baking soda.

5. Mix in the remaining chocolate chips and spinach.

¼ tsp baking soda

6. Pour into a greased 13x9 pan. Make sure no spinach is visible from top or sides.

¾ cup of spinach, cut into small pieces.

7. Bake for 18-22 minutes.

A Burning Question for Our Readers

O

The Blondies

ur newspaper was founded in the 1900s. Throughout its lengthy existence, many questions have been asked and answered. However, there is one so disputed, so intense, and so controversial that none have dared take it on. Until now.

This question has caused a divide larger than the Grand Canyon. Everyone in the school has picked a side, splitting friendships, relationships, and even families. One anonymous Junior said that telling others his opinion on this issue ruined his relationship with his brother, his girl-

friend, and 7 teachers.

The question is simple, but the answer is complicated.

What you believe depends largely on your religious beliefs, your socioeconomic standing, and your taste in TV shows. Your answer determines everything in your life, from your future employment to the model of car you purchase. One Highland Park alumnus shared with The Phlegm that, “My opinion prevented me from getting a top tier governmental job. However, it also opened up doors to succeed as an amateur sanitation engineer.”

it has grown to encompass almost half the globe. Historical research suggests that this question created the tension between the Soviets and the Americans, the English and the French, and the Palestinians and the Israelis. Almost all of the major world conflicts could have been fixed if everyone agreed on this issue. Unfortunately, the intense feelings this question evokes will prevent that from ever happening.

The question? Yes or no. The answer? You’ll have to decide for yourself.

This question has not only been disrupting Highland Park, APRIL 2014, THE HIGHLAND PHLEGM

10

arts

Let’s Talk Sex H

Little Orphan

ighland Park’s very own fabulous Ms. Klimowicz now hosts her own TV sex show, called, You Gotta Like Them, based on her classic catchphrase “you can love your partner, but you gotta like them.” This new talk show examines the role that sex plays in both healthy and unhealthy relationships. She explains in depth the possible consequences of sex, criticizes the portrayal of sex in the media, and much more!

The hour-long show has many segments to entertain everybody. The first segment, which immediately piques the studio audience’s attention, is entitled, “That’s a Sick Thought!” For 10 minutes, Ms. Klimowicz shows stories about actions and consequences that she has deemed to be “sick.” One example on this segment was about teen couples that wanted to have a baby even though they clearly weren’t ready.

“sex sells.” That’s why these advertisement campaigns and rappers use provocative imagery and language.

There is truly a lot to be learned from You Gotta Like Them. Critics have called it “the most edgy, hilarious, yet informative show of the decade.” The show’s second season premieres Tuesday, April 1 on Bravo.

Missed the first season? Catch up on Netflix or go to www. bravo.com to see full episodes, behind-the-scenes extras, interviews, and extended footage.

The Offspring - Pretty Fly for a White Guy

Flight of the Conchords - Ladies of the World

The Key of Awesome - What Makes You Beautiful

OPRAH, TYRA, ELLEN... MS. K Phlegm photographer Zoe Temple ’14 caught Ms. K backstage before her first taping.

What’s In: Camouflage

F

Liv Overpass

rom the runways of Italy to stores like Forever 21, camouflage of all colors, shapes, and styles has been quite popular this season. It is not uncommon to see this print on the pants, shirts, jackets, shoes, and hats of Highland Park students, not to mention their bags, wallets, and cellphone cases. Even current pop culture has welcomed the pattern of camouflage, with celebrities like Jay-Z, Kim Kardashian, Adam Lambert, and Rihanna rocking these green-, gray-, and black-splotched threads.

THE HIGHLAND PHLEGM, APRIL 2014

As the weather gets warmer, I like to roll down the windows of my car and blast music as I drive around the back streets of Highland Park—before 11 p.m. and with only one friend in the car at a time, of course. Although I can’t cruise with all of you, here’s a preview of my driving playlist through which you can experience my company vicariously.

The Chainsmokers - #SELFIE

The next segment varies episode to episode, but it also lasts 15 minutes. Once, this quarter of the show was filled with disgusting photos of STIs. Another time, viewers at home got to watch the studio audience learn how to correctly apply a condom. There’s even unconfirmed news of a new segment called, “It’s Less Expensive than a Baby,” where Ms. Klimowicz shares thousands of things you could do with less money than how much it takes to raise a child.

CRAZY FOR CAMO (Left to right): Ogemdi Nwadike ’16, Omar North ’17, and Ali Elalfy ’16 show off their camo swag.

Joey Synagogue

Weird Al Yankovic - White & Nerdy

Another segment, lasting about 15 minutes, is called, “Close Your Lips.” Despite the provocative title, this is probably one of the most important and least laughable segments on the show. In this segment, Ms. Klimowicz explains that many people have received inaccurate, or even worse, little to no information about sexual health.

In that time, Ms. Klimowicz requests the audience to close their lips and listen to what she has to say about safe sex, healthy relationships, and babies. If the audience doesn’t stay respectful and quiet, she gives them candy to make them shut up. Usually she hands out Twizzlers.

Finally, the show always closes with an interview. Sometimes, it is a famous actor who talks about their sexual experiences. So far the audience’s favorite has been the episode where Channing Tatum describes his sex life in explicit detail. In contrast, some actors come on the show to emphasize the benefits of abstinence. On a more serious note, Ms. Klimowicz has also has had rappers and CEOs of prominent ad agencies speak on her show to talk about how their portrayal of sex has impacted the youth of America. For example, Ms. Klimowicz points out that

PLAYLIST

The camouflage print was created during World War I as a means of protection for the soldiers stationed in the trenches, although the exact color palette has changed over the decades depending on the different terrains.

Soon, US citizens began wearing the print to show their support for US soldiers out fighting. What started out as a mark of respect and support for the war effort has gradually changed into popular high school couture. “For me, camouflage clothing represents toughness,” says Ian de Uriarte ’17. Since camouflage is still used by soldiers and hunters, the print has remained a symbol of valor. As camouflage-covered US soldiers fight for our country, the students of Highland Park sashay down the hallways, camouflage-miniskirts and all, in the brave fight for fashion.

The Lonely Island - I’m on a Boat

Bloodhound Gang - Fire Water Burn

They Might Be Giants - Please Pass the Milk

The Presidents of the United States of America Lump

The Dead Milkmen - Punk Rock Girl

Tenacious D - Tribute

11

sports

PLAYA PROFILE

Name: Lucas Marin Grade: Senior Sport: Flirting

Name: Sophia Gillerman Grade: Junior Sport: Flirting

Raoul Duke Lucas “Muscles” Marin ’14 emerges from his house, oblivious to the brisk February evening despite the fact that he wears only compression shorts. He had just finished an especially vigorous workout and his muscles gleam, even in the fading twilight.

Raising one arm, he scratches himself with feline grace, and I catch a whiff of his famous “Marin Musk”: pure masculinity. A single bead of sweat caresses his supple cheek. I find myself blushing. To conduct this interview, we keep to the backstreets; Marin attracts women like moths to a flame—a steamy, passionate flame that burns all night long. A female jogger passes us; unable to take her eyes off the glistening hunk striding confidently beside me, she crashes suddenly into a parked car.

I decide it would be a good time to start the questions.

Does that happen often?

Oh, all the time.

I noticed you work out exclusively at home. Why is that?

When I went to gyms there were too many distractions, the number of injuries people incurred because of risky lifting increased exponentially. Also, it was hard to work out when all eyes were on me. At home it’s just me and my lifting buddy, the mirror. Wink.

You’re often accused of being a notorious womanizer. Are these rumors true?

Womanizer has undertones of misogyny,

I don’t really identify with that. Rather, I try to be as personal and close with every person I spend time with. Skin to skin pales in comparison with soul to soul don’t you think? That’s why I always sing to my female companions; it makes me feel intimate, like I’m baring my soul.

That’s very touching. So what would you look for in a…companion?

Well, I like a woman who can engage my mind as well as my body. One who shares my love of film and music. And one who can match my caramel needs.

Did you say caramel?

Yes, sweets are a weakness of mine, particularly ice cream and caramel.

Oh… Well, do you have any advice for any young, prospective romantics?

Well, it’s important to remember that since everyone is different, you’ve got to look within yourself to develop your playa skills. Not everyone can sing tender love ballads, so it’s important to find out what works for you. And likewise remember that not everyone wants to be sung to.

Wise words from a great man. For more from “Muscles” Marin, come out to Highland Park High School Drama Club’s take on The Wizard of Oz and watch him turn the Scarecrow from loveable childhood memory to relentless sex machine.

Editor’s note: We apologize for our inability to perfectly replicate the sultry timbre of Lucas Marin’s baritone voice through text.

Olive Curtains Some call it a sin, while others classify it as an art only performable by the Gods; for Sophia Gillerman ‘15, it is a natural talent she has possessed since ninth grade.

Flirting takes precision, accuracy, and just the right amount of allure. Behind such a beautiful face is a master of the most sophisticated of techniques; that is why The Phlegm got the inside scoop behind Gillerman’s success as a professional flirt at Highland Park High School.

How long have you been a professional flirt?

Ah, it all started back when I was introduced to the famous high school hallways. My confidence is always beaming its brightest when I see a cutie staring at me. My winks are definitely my strong suit, and my hair flips always send boys and girls running to buy my shampoo and conditioner.

What is your favorite pickup line?

My favorite pickup line is tied between two. My top contender is “My jersey number isn’t the only number you’ll be seeing!” while the other is “I bet you play soccer, because you’re a keeper!”

How do you lure in your “victims”?

A specialty of mine is my victorious, manly calve muscles that possess the ability to lure my victims into a web of pickup lines, hair flips, and winky faces.

When you see me in the hallway, please

do not waste your time on my hazel eyes, but my popping muscles that will take your breath away. I may not be the best person to ask about homework, but I’m good at reciting my digits.

What motivates you to better yourself as a flirt?

My motivation comes from the reactions I receive from my victims. When I get someone’s attention, it just proves what my purpose is in life. I do not aim to send a bad message to little children, but to influence them to gain the confidence I possess.

For how long do you practice each day, and what do your practices consist of?

My practice includes walking down the hallways and working on my powerful, mesmerizing walk. I practice up to two hours a day and I allow myself a fiveminute water break for every ten-minute interval. Hydrating is also key when flirting. One of the most unattractive things a person can do when struttin’ their style is faint from a lack of agua.

Do you plan to continue this sport in college?

Flirting is not only a sport to me, but a way of life. Some may look down upon me for my skills and techniques, but confidence is what supports the art of flirting. A big smile is key to happiness and liberty. And if you add a wink into the mix, you’ll be living with the hotties for eternity.

TALK FLIRTY TO ME Sophia Gillerman ’15 and Lucas Marin ’14 are on their way to becoming flirting professionals.

(Left): Sophia and Lucas show the Phlegm their greatest flirting moves: the infamous hair flip and the irresistable muscle flex, respectively.

(Right): Sometimes the adoring fans come flocking, and Sophia and Lucas are simply unable to push them away!

League of Legends A

Michio Tanaka

s I sat down to talk with Jimmy Tu ’14, an eerie musical accompaniment sounded, the improvisation of Tu’s cohort who wished not to be named. I tried several times to conduct a solid interview, but my first three attempts at conversation were mocked by fantastical tales involving “League Training Camps,” and bitter insults directed towards The Highland Phlegm’s journalistic integrity.

My only recourse was to begin with a word association game. When I asked what came to his mind when I said “League,” he

replied, “Frustration. But also fun I guess, because league is a team sport and like any other team game you rely on other teammates to win your game, and on the internet no one is really willing to be a team player and so that’s why frustration is one of the first things that comes to mind.”

His disdain for teamwork was clear. Earlier that day, I had observed him reveal to the opposing team the location of his unnamed acquaintance, nearly resulting in his cohort’s in-game death, and eliciting a sick pleasure for Jimmy Tu who laughed for a good two or three minutes afterwards.

He also mentioned to me something about

the subjectivity of “fun.”

Finally getting answers out of him instead of mocking vitriol, I moved on to question him on his earliest experiences with league. After giving me a perfectly reasonable answer, he condescendingly remarked, “Wait. No one will know what this is about” and followed with a contemptuously vague account of “doing terribly.”

Fearing a return to the form of my earlier attempts at interview, I changed the topic: What about League of Legends makes it better than Starcraft?

“One of the reasons Starcraft was hailed as the e-sport was because of the steep learning curve and how much concentration it required. It really mimicked what a real sport should be; it required a lot of skill.

You needed to have very fast reactions.

You needed to be able to keep track of many things at the same time. Starcraft required a lot of spatial reasoning. The game was much more intensive than League of Legends. League is much easier to learn.

To play at a higher level, it requires a lot of skill, but if you are just starting out, it’s much easier to play league.” It seemed punditry was more his speed, and as such, I concluded the interview.

APRIL 2014, THE HIGHLAND PHLEGM

A P RI L 2 0 1 4

FROM PEN TO PAINT John Horowitz experimented with many conceptual drawings before finalizing his colorful mural.

Jon Horowitz: The Man Behind the Walls Amita Shukla

W

alking down Main Street tends not to be the same twice, of late. The mural on the side of Stop & Shop has surely caught the eye of many a passerby. The man behind the walls? Jonathan Horowitz, a local artist. The Fling approached him to ask about his work and seek counsel for Highland Park High School students considering art as a career path.

First and foremost, Horowitz stresses that good artists know their craft. They don’t just make pretty things to vent their feelings. His own work explains exactly how he feels about this important aspect of life as an artist. On the surface, many of his works appear deceptively simple; they use paper doll-like forms and bright colors. Yet, they are geometrically well-informed and carefully planned.

They’re simple because it took a lot of paring down to become that way. Take a look at the process shots of the mural to better understand this concept. “A lot of artists make crappy work incorrectly, breaking formal rules, then justify[ing] it because they say ‘this feels better’. But art, when approached correctly, is a discipline like any other,” Horowitz, who spends a lot of time poring over art theory books and examples of great art, says. He says it is important to work at understanding rules of art and the methods of the old masters. Only then can you break rules and undertake your own new ideas. Artwork is grunt work, and you cannot take it as the easy way out.

INSIDE

Horowitz also stresses that art is a business; “If you’re not selling your work, you’re not doing it right.” His studio at 212 Raritan doubles as a showroom, and he urges young artists not to perpetuate the stereotype of the starving artist.

Additionally, he says, “You don’t have to go to art school

to be a great artist.” Horowitz himself started out as a math major in college, later pursuing economics and literature.

He took exams for law school and business school, choosing art over all of them. “If you are meant to be an artist, you’ll end up there eventually.”

From his own experience, Jon has found that if you explore multidisciplinary fields, even beyond art, it can only help your work. Many of his pieces utilize geometric concepts which he learned during his years as a math student.

One of his latest projects involves creating visual interpretations of music, mostly from Colombia. He uses color and shape to portray his reaction to certain musical pieces, ranging from Chopin’s Nocturnes to husky Colombian beats.

Horowitz speaks of “multi-layered messages” in his art, imbibing it with different levels of meaning. Reactions to his work can range from ‘that looks good’ to a much more sophisticated and technical critique, depending on the audience. He feels that all viewers need to be able to find something in his work. When asked about his public projects, like the Main Street murals, he says, “Generally speaking, I look at my audience as broken into three categories: kids, non-artsy adults, and artsy adults… I make public art that you can appreciate if you know nothing – but the more you know, the more you can appreciate it.”

The squiggly lines that repeatedly appear in his work, for example, are meant to represent a sort-of universal alphabet that everyone can interpret in the same way. This connectivity is his way of giving back to the community.

his studio at 212 Raritan Ave. This building is turning into a gathering-place for Highland Park artists: eventually it will be somewhat of an open studio and gallery where artists can converge to learn from one another and others can come to admire and buy. He extends the invitation to anyone interested: “Come stop by.”

Top 5 Artist’s tips from Jonathan Horowitz 1. You’ll become a better artist if you have skills in other disciplines.

2. You can’t break rules willy-nilly. Learn the rules so you can have a reason to break them.

3. Art is a great therapeutic tool but leisure is not its only purpose; you have a responsibility that is bigger than simply making yourself happy.

4. Not all art is good.

5. Make as much art as possible and don’t consider restrictions. People will always say: “You’re not supposed to do things that way!” As long as you’re disciplined and making conscious decisions to approach art in a certain way, you are doing it right.

To see more of Horowitz’ work, and to buy them, visit

news

opinion

feature

arts

sports

Keeping up with Capone

Political Experimentation

Distinguished Alumnus:

Willie Garson

2014’s Great Start in Animation

A Bid Farewell: Senior Sports Seasons

(p. 2)

(p. 3)

(p. 4)

(p. 7)

(p. 8)

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news

Conversation with Capone I

n the past several months, Highland Park has experienced several controversial changes within the school district. Board of Education meetings have had immense participation rates, with concerned parents, students, and community members in attendance.

The Fling interviewed Superintendent, Mr. Timothy Capone, to attain a better understanding about past district decisions and the possible changes that could be coming our way.

Why did we have to make budget cuts?

What were our other options?

The cuts were made based on efficiency, our districts needs were identified and the budget was adjusted accordingly.

The priorities mentioned were supplies, materials, [and] textbooks, which were not factors of the budget previously. There was no deficit, but in order to obtain these priorities we had to make cuts elsewhere, hence, the layoffs.

Are we purchasing Chromebooks?

Why? What are the other options?

567 out of 800 computers in the district are old Macs or run on XP, which will not be supported past June. Thus, roughly twothirds of our computers will be obsolete.

The Administration is in the process of creating a technology committee for addressing these types of issues. One issue they would address is the possible purchase of 400 Chromebooks, which can run Study Island. The committee also would be responsible for updating the broadband of the district; HP currently has 100MB. Bartle and Irving each use 1MB, which is about the amount a house would use. Typically 1% of the budget should be spent on technology, and we are not even close to that.

Becca Chant In regards to scheduling, are we doing away with the rotating schedule [in the high school/middle school]? What are the problems with the rotating schedule?

What other possibilities would you consider?

No decision has been made in regards to the rotating schedule for next year; this is still under discussion. There are many issues with a rotating schedule, such as [students] not being able to take certain classes, and the new schedule will need to match the needs of the building. I have seen many different types of scheduling, however whatever is decided will have to meet the specific needs of the school.

years at Irving and Bartle School. The goal here is less testing [in the future], which would be accomplished by [administering] these tests [now]. Teachers’ elementary education certifications are [for] Pre-K to 3rd grade, Newborn to 8th grade, and Kindergarten to 5th grade. Therefore, talking from a certification point, elementary and primary schools are the same thing.

Open access is important to courses, and as adults it is our responsibility to provide opportunity for students to take classes.

There is a philosophical concept that people have a fixed or growth mindset. I am a firm believer in growth mindset, and I do not want to limit opportunity. I want to help students find success and do not support standardize testing as a practice.

Note: The adjective longitudinal is defined as “done by observing or examining a group of people or things over time to study how one or two particular things about them change” by Merriam-Webster Dictionary. Therefore longitudinal testing can be defined as a test that is given multiple times over a long period of time, with the common purpose of showing growth. Longitudinal studies are often used in conducting research and gathering information, and thus are applied to tests like the Student Growth Objectives that are meant to show growth. In contrast, standardized testing is “a test (as of intelligence, achievement, or personality) whose reliability has been established by obtaining an average score of a significantly large number of individuals for use as a standard of comparison” as defined by Merriam-Webster Dictionary.

There have been concerns on the primary education level about standardized testing. Is this an option? Has this been used before?

Why is the Irving Principle hiring process confidential, and who is currently “in charge” of the Primary School?

Firstly, I think there is a confusion of what standardized testing and longitudinal testing are. The first is a test like the HSPA or the NJ Ask, the second is similar to a benchmark, being that it tests a student over a long period of time. An example is Fountas and Pinnell Benchmark Assessment System, which has been testing at the primary level for some time, and for

The sharing of who sits on the selection committee for the new principal is confidential. The board made the decision that there would be no interim principal; however the assistant superintendents are located in the Primary School.

There has been talk about replacing prerequisites (teacher recommendations) with aptitude tests.

Would you be in favor of this?

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW Mr. Capone answers all the questions left hanging at board meetings.

Have we always used rubrics at the primary level and have we previously or do we currently post student work on bulletin boards?

Yes, we essentially use rubrics for everything when it comes to grading. It provides a clear measurement method for scoring. Student work is being posted with names, and rubrics; however whether everyone’s work is posted, or just the exemplary ones is up to teacher’s discretion.

Note: Mr. Capone also stated that it is unfortunate that there has been so much miscommunication throughout this school year.

Blood Brands O

ld Navy, H&M, The Gap, Nike— these are just a few brands that have become household names over the years. Unfortunately, these are also just a few examples of popular brands using child labor. While this practice has been banned in the United States, child laborers still aid in producing the clothing on Americans’ backs.

Throughout the years, companies’ involvement in using child labor have been exposed. Even companies that say that their products are “fair trade” may not be completely forthcoming. Victoria’s Secret buys “fair trade” cotton for their undergarments, however in order for fair trade farms in Africa to ship enough cotton in time for delivery, they need the help of child laborers.

Is this a fair trade-off? Victoria’s Secret is owned by Limited Brands which includes other popular stores such as The Limited, Express, and even Bath and Body Works.

Child labor does not just affect clothing brands. Hershey’s Chocolate has gotten into serious trouble over the years for its use of child labor. The International Labor Rights Forum has been fighting against Hershey’s use of child labor for years and has threatened to air a television ad exposing Hershey’s. More recently, however,

THE HIGHLAND FLING, APRIL 2014

Maddie Hehir the chocolate franchise introduced Bliss Chocolates which are made with cocoa certified by the Rainforest Alliance. While this could indicate a change of heart, it also could just be an attempt to redirect media attention. Though Hershey’s signed the Harkin-Engel Protocol, an agreement to combat child labor in the chocolate industry, the

company continues to utilize children to pick their cocoa.

Another brand which recently was forced to admit to having a hand in perpetuating child labor was Philip Morris, a tobacco company. Just four years ago Philip Morris admitted to having a minimum of seventy-two child laborers picking their tobacco. Not only did they admit to having child workers, but it also became known that some of the children had devel-

oped rashes on their stomachs and their necks from constant tobacco exposure.

This company’s involvement with child labor was so extreme that the only reason Philip Morris announced its misdeeds was because it was flagged by Human Rights Watch.

There’s no way of knowing which big brands

use child labor without actually looking into it. There does not seem to be an apparent trend when it comes to which companies utilize child labor. Designer brand Calvin Klein’s parent company Phillips-Van Heusen has been connected with having multiple sweatshops. But it doesn’t stop there; there have also been rumors that their workers face lack of benefits, brutal beatings, poor working conditions, and confiscated passports. From pricey brands like Calvin Klein to cheaper brands such as Forever 21 and Toys R Us, poor

working conditions and the exploitation of children affect a large spectrum of companies.

Sadly, many of Americans’ favorite clothing lines, products, and big brands have fallen into the practice of using child labor.

There is hope, however, for the American consumer. Try swapping those Nike sneakers for New Balance ones, as this company makes the majority of their products in the United States. Instead of buying hand lotion from Bath and Body Works, instead try The Body Shop which is committed to ethical working conditions and has even created their own Ethical Trade program.

Child labor may be illegal in the United States, but nonetheless it is still a part of this country. While it may be difficult to avoid buying from companies that use child laborers, as many do, Americans still have the ability to put pressure on these companies so that they change their ways.

Companies do not need to use child laborers indefinitely, but that is up to American consumers. To avoid becoming a part of the vicious cycle, buy local goods, support fair trade, look for products made in the USA, buy second-hand clothing, and play an active role in stopping child labor.

3

opinion NO LIE

TREVOR ENDEAVOR

Above and Beyond

Laboratories of Democracy

Eli Liebell-McLean

Gabriel Trevor

I

was prompted to write on this topic by an article which appeared in last month’s Fling titled “The F-Bomb.”

It advanced a fairly centrist view of feminism, providing a solid critique of contemporary female figures who have disdained to label themselves feminists: Beyoncé, Katy Perry, and Bjork. But the article deliberately refrained from any consequential statements about the necessity of large-scale reforms of social institutions which oppress or repress women.

The piece focused on the social dilemma of labeling oneself a feminist, doing an excellent job of conveying the fear of asserting one’s beliefs. Feminism continues to be mocked by the smallminded and ignorant, and, as the author of the piece suggests, hesitating to declare oneself openly and unabashedly shouldn’t necessarily be seen as an act of cowardice, but rather as a product of a society which promotes a negative view of feminism in all forms.

I consider myself a feminist. But what is a feminist?

Liberal feminism is simple. Men and women are equal. So you don’t want to label yourself a feminist? Are you afraid of the implications, the accusations of radical thought and of malice towards men? Congratulations, liberal feminism is a moderate, unambitious approach to countering discrimination. Liberal feminists push for social reforms like equal education, universal suffrage, and reproductive rights. While by no means do I wish to degrade this point of view, I frankly consider liberal feminism to often be an easy answer, a way to counter some bigotry without directly facing the sinister enormity of the social situation of women worldwide.

Because the patriarchy is real. No, it’s not just a joke, a mockery of the conspiracy theories spouted by some feminists. We live in a society fundamentally structured to favor men. In 2012, the median annual earnings for women was $11,607 less than men. Society pressures women to take jobs which fall within the lines of the stereotypical female identity: nurturing and unambitious.

Women make up 50.8% of America’s population, but only 18.5% of our Senate. There has never been a female President.

There has never been a female Vice-President. Keep in mind that we’re talking about the United States here – a first-world country, a supposed champion of democracy.

Thus, it should fall to all supporters of liberty and equality to champion the cause of feminism above and beyond the safely liberal stance. I draw inspiration partly from the philosophy of feminists like Emma Goldman, who believe that society must be restructured to ensure equality; it is not enough to operate within the existing system, improving an education and healthcare options without addressing the fundamental assumption of differences between men and women. We must cease to hold traditional institutions like heterosexual marriage sacrosanct, expanding to understand gender and sexuality as more fluid and liberating. We must deliberately guard against the continuation of good ol’ boy networks and male domination of the government. We must, in short, be willing to bring into effect social reform without hesitation or uncertainty, to declare ourselves openly as feminists and heralds of a truly egalitarian future.

I

n the 1932 United States Supreme Court decision New State Ice Co. v.

Liebmann, Justice Louis Brandeis coined the phrase “laboratories of democracy” to describe how a “state may, if its citizens choose, serve as a laboratory and try novel social and economic experiments without risk to the rest of the country.”

Brandeis highlights an important benefit of our unique federal system: because of the Tenth Amendment and its delegation of powers to the states, we have the ability to attempt policies on a small scale before attempting to apply them to the whole nation. An example would be the 2006 individual mandate health care reform in Massachusetts – aka, “Romneycare” – and its eventual adoption on the national scale with the passage of the Affordable Care Act – aka, “Obamacare”.

This notion of laboratories of democracy should be looked at literally.

Each state is allowed to take whatever form of government it chooses - and each state has differences. Some states, like Vermont and New Hampshire grant their Governor two year terms, as opposed to the normal four years. Nebraska is the only state in the union to have a unicameral legislature; every other state has a bicameral legislature with two houses.

The United States is the world’s greatest experiment in democracy. No other nation before espoused the ideals of self-government like we did...

In the end, every state’s constitution lays out an emulation of the federal govern-

ment, with a popularly elected executive (governor) separate from a legislature which mirrors the bicameral Senate and House of Representatives (Nebraska being the exception), and a judicial branch.

This reluctance to try different forms of government means our country isn’t exploring its full potential.

The United States is the world’s greatest experiment in democracy. No other nation before espoused the ideals of self-government like we did, and nearly every transition from absolute monarchy to democracy has been influenced by our revolution. We need to expand on our experiment, and on a state level, attempt different types of democracy. Because of the self-contained nature of the states and the powerful federal government, if these experiments failed, we have the systems in place to fix them.

Montana could have a Swissstyle federal council— essentially a collective executive chosen by the legislature. A French-style semi-presidential system could work in larger states like New York, Texas, or California. A weak popularly elected executive, instead of being charged with foreign policy and defense, could work to promote the state on the national and international level, while a head of government chosen by the state legislature could work on internal policy and the day-to-day governing.

These are just some of the options presented when we look outside the box in how our state governments function.

Efforts to try new things could reveal systems more efficient than our current one. This experimentation could lead to reforms on the national level that could make our government work better for us.

writers

editorial board editor-in-chief layout editor news opinion feature arts sports

Jana Choi Jisu Jeong Sarah Cheng Amita Shukla Shana Oshinskie Tia Wangli Olivia Draper

advisor

Brett Roche

Jamie Atschinow, Olivia Bridges Amita Shukla, Dawn Park, Maddie Hehir, Becca Chant, William Chen, Annie McCrone, Eli Liebell-McLean, Gabriel Trevor, Eli Copperman, Camryn Kozachek, Warren Yee

illustrators & photographers Keith Gerstmann

the official newspaper of highland park high school highland park, new jersey 08904 . thehighlandfling@gmail.com . hpfling.tumblr.com . facebook.com/hpfling . @hpfling APRIL 2014, THE HIGHLAND FLING

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feature

A Man of Many Roles Shana Oshinskie

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reaky Friday, Sex and the City, and Groundhog Day. While these three productions may seem completely unrelated, they share exactly one very important thing in common: Willie Garson ’82. Mr. Garson left Highland Park after graduation to pursue what has been an extremely successful acting career in both the titles mentioned above and 111 more.

From White Collar to Wizards of Waverly Place, Garson has worked alongside actresses such as Lindsay Lohan and Betty White. In an interview with The Fling, he shared what it was like to grow up here and offered advice to Highlan students.

Can you briefly describe your career, and the different types of jobs that you’ve had?

Also, being close to New York and to Rutgers meant that different people from different cultures and arts were everywhere, and that made kids that more well-rounded than, say, a town where everyone works at the car factory or whatever.

How, if at all, do you think growing up in Highland Park has influenced you or your career?

#THROWBACKTHURSDAY Garson’s winning smile hasn’t changed in 32 years.

I have had many jobs, starting [off] at Highland Park High School, working at Drug Fair in Highland Park, at John’s Clothing in New Brunswick, and trying to audition in New York (I understudied a play off Broadway when I was in Middle School). I did every play at Highland Park: large and small roles, building sets, lighting, etc; [I] even got to direct one. [I] took acting classes when I could in New York on weekends and singing classes in New Brunswick.

Did you have any particular productions or people that you found especially fun or interesting to work with?

Each job has something or someone great to work with. At this point, after so many movies and television shows, I love working with friends like the Farrelly brothers, Sarah Jessica Parker (who was a dear friend even before the show [Sex and the City]), and Tim DeKay [who is] now on White Collar (he attended Rutgers for graduate school!). But you never know when you will make a new lifelong pal on a project, like Zach Galafianakis on the set of Outcold (2001). If you look at my imdb, you can see that my work has been very varied.

Whereabouts in Highland Park did you live?

I grew up on Harrison Avenue in a big house that I loved, and our yard was so great that my mom threw the graduation party there for the whole town every year, even when we had nothing to do with that class!

Can you describe your high school experience in Highland Park?

High school in Highland Park was great, because of both the opportunity (band, government, choir, radio station, sports, theater, whatever)... and because of such a great varied community, it was all respected.... Also it was an art-filled town, so being in plays was held in as high esteem as being on the football team; that’s a cool and rare thing.

A 1982 NIGHT’S DREAM Willie Paszamant [Garson], Puck, gives warning to the foolish mortals he taunts.*

THE HIGHLAND FLING, APRIL 2014

really miss that.

A great thing about Highland Park High School and the town in general has been how incredible everyone has been to me as my career has progressed: super supportive and kind, keeping an eye on me, even when they hated the movies and television shows.

I can always feel them rooting for me as a hometown guy. We don’t have that in big ugly cities like Los Angeles, and I

What sorts of activities did you do for fun in Highland Park?

My work ended up being my fun, I loved being a part of the marching band, the choir, the play productions, the ultimate Frisbee team. [I] loved going camping too with my dad, we had a small airplane and would go to these crazy grass airfields in Pennsylvania and whatnot, and camp. I also went to, and then worked at, a summer camp in Maine, which I just loved, and I now send my own son to a camp that is literally a mile away from [where mine was].

Can you share any memories of Highland Park as you knew it with The Fling?

Of course I grew up in a different time, it was somehow less dangerous, and we basically ran that town. People were taken for their own worth and trustworthiness, rather than any absolute sets of rules. We went everywhere, ruled the town and the school—if we earned it. Because I would make the school announcements in the morning, and was on the radio station, and because I was at play rehearsals late at night, I even had a set of keys to the school. Can you imagine that happening now? No way would that happen today!

Do you have any advice for Highland Park students, especially ones that are interested in the arts?

The arts are like any other business or career choice....the problem is that people (yes, especially parents), look at the arts as a hobby. It’s not. So my advice to anyone interested in the arts is to really look at what it means to them. It just fun? (which is fine), or is it something they are passionate enough about to want to study it every day, all you can, just like someone who wants to go to medical school, or law school, or technology. If it is approached the same way people approach “actual” jobs, then it can become an “actual” job.

CALC PROBLEMS Willie Paszamant [Garson] reworks one last problem before a calculus quiz.* * Original captions from 1982 Albadome

THEATER KING Willie Paszamant [Garson] tries on an “old hat.”*

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feature

Food for All Jamie Atschinow & Olivia Bridges

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Better World Café is a green, economically friendly restaurant in Highland Park, New Jersey. Right now, they serve out of a rented space in the Reformed Church of Highland Park on South Second Avenue, although the café itself has no religious ties to the church. The restaurant serves lunch Monday through Friday from 11 am to 3 pm. It is supplied with freshly baked bread from Elijah’s Promise in New Brunswick, as well as locally grown and often organic foods, which make their way into seasonal soups, salads, entrees, and desserts prepared by chefs on location.

Modeled after the One World Everybody Eats community café in Salt Lake City, Utah, A Better World Café serves healthy, affordable meals regardless of financial status.

This means that the café will serve any customer food, even if they do not have the financial means to pay for it. The café encourages customers to pay what they can for their meal, as customers that pay under the price are covered by those that pay more than the suggested price. A complimentary dish, usually pasta or rice with vegetables and spices, is available for free. Individuals that want a free meal at the café can work a shift to get one. The servers at the counter, as well as those on dish duty, are often volunteering their time. Charlotte Millet ’14 frequently volunteers after school in the kitchen for community service hours.

Along with making healthy food accessible to many people, A Better World Café recognizes the importance of running a green, ecofriendly business in this day and age.

For takeout orders, the café offers biodegradable containers and cutlery for customers and also provides a compost bucket for any food scraps that customers do not eat or take home.

A Better World Café’s ideology is that everyone should be able to eat healthy food, and the café aims to provide that opportunity with its unique payment options and its daily complimentary dish. Unfortunately, awareness of of the café has been limited because the business does not currently have a storefront on Main Street. Jamie Atshinow ’16 and Olivia Bridges ’16 created their DECA project around A Better World Café to increase awareness throughout the community by displaying advertisements in the schools and town. Volunteer forms for the café are available in guidance if you are interested in serving food and wish to collect volunteer hours for NHS or college.

Also, don’t forget to stop by the café with friends and family during open lunch, off days, or in the summer months.

With your support, A Better World Café will continue their work on making healthy food available at fair prices for individuals of all financial classes.

Egg-cited for Easter Jana Choi Ditch the messy dyes and try something new with your Easter Eggs this year!

1. Ink it Up — Use temporary tattoos to liven up plain eggs. Apply to the egg with a warm towel like you would on skin.

2. Sticky Tape — Use Japanese Washi tape, which comes in a variety of hues and prints to decorate your Easter eggs. Washi tape may be found in craft stores such as A.C. Moore, Michaels, and Hobby Lobby.

Annie McCrone

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he majority of Highland Park High School’s upperclassmen go out for lunch. A few seniors stay in the senior lounge. One said, “I hate the cafeteria, but I don’t want to spend my money going out. The senior lounge is nice because it doesn’t really feel like you’re in the cafeteria.”

Where do students eat out? The Fling surveyed 50 people to find out about their lunchtime experiences. The majority of students went to a restaurant, with only 10% of students returning home for lunch.

DRAW OUT LOUD Sharpie your way to beautiful Easter eggs

Of all the restaurants, Highland Pizza was number one.

Why? “Because it’s the closest and you only have to spend a couple of bucks,” said Lars Rasmussen ’14. The Fling traveled to Highland Pizza a couple of times; each time there was a large crowd of students.

Sultan Wok is another popular location. However, there is no place to sit down, which led to a decline in student business during the winter. “It’s better than other Asian food places in town,” said Emily Zarra ’15. The food is good, and one of the benefits is you can preorder your food so that it’s ready for pickup immediately.

3. Tribal Eggs — All you need is a pack of colorful permanent makers (Sharpies, anyone?) to transform your bland white eggs into a masterpiece of pattern and color. Use geometric patterns like stripes and zigzags to complete your design.

PJ’s Coffee is somewhat nearby, and a few students go there, but it is not in their typical routine. “I love the smoothies at PJ’s, but it’s so expensive,” said one student, who wished to remain anonymous.

NOT JUST FOR NAIL POLISH Glitter makes everything better

4. Diva Sparkles — Coat eggs in glue and roll in sparkles or confetti to achieve a party-ready look.

5. Tie-Dye — Achieve beautiful patterns without the mess. Cut old ties (or any other piece of 100% silk) into pieces large enough to full wrap eggs in. Wrap the eggs in another layer of plain, white fabric, and secure with a piece of yarn or a twisty tie. Place eggs in a pot with enough water to cover them and ¼ cup vinegar, and boil for 20 minutes.

Lunch Bunch

Students can also be found in the springtime picnicking on the front lawn of the school with lunches brought from home. There are exceptions of Juniors and Seniors that stay indoors, especially in the winter, but most prefer to go out and enjoy that half hour away from school.

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E

A

B C

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STICK IT! Washi tape Easter eggs are a great craft to do with friends.

THE NUMBERS A - Stay In (5%) D - Highland Pizza (45%) B - Senior Lounge (10%) E - Sultan Wok (20%) C - Go Home (10%) F - PJ’s (10%)

APRIL 2014, THE HIGHLAND FLING

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feature

Fun & Games Super Sudoku

DIFFICULTY hard

DIFFICULTY medium

Hidden Images “St. Patrick’s Day” Jana Choi

See if you can find them all!

THE HIGHLAND FLING, APRIL 2014

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arts

Frozen Thaws the Hearts of the World

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Dawn Park

lmost all of America has been hyped up about and may resonate with sisters who feel the same way. the CGI animated movie, Frozen. The film, Set in a backdrop of beautiful icy landscapes, the animabased on Hans Christian Anderson’s “The tion of the film contributes to the magical tenor of FroSnow Queen”, is a fairytale about two Nordic princesszen. Although the film is based in computer graphics, es: Elsa, the “snow queen” who illustrators also utilize traditional possesses cryokinetic powers hand-drawn animation, giving the (the ability to manipulate ice I think it’s honestly one of the best film a unique, artistic style. Some and freezing temperatures), animated films out there. I’d Definitely of the most impressive aspects of and her younger sister, Anna. recommend it to everyone the animation are the amazing- Theresa Antonini ‘14 When the two sisters are little, ly animated snow and ice effects Elsa inadvertently injures Anna of the movie, which mirror Elwith her powers. After the incident, she isolates herself sa’s emotions. When she is hurt, ice is depicted as in a castle to manage her powers. This self-imposed harsh and sharp; when she is happy, snow falls softly. penitentiary continues for many years until the day of Musical elements also make the Elsa’s coronation, when Anna movie great. Composed by Robert abruptly asks for her sister’s I just thought the storyline lacked Lopez and Kristen Anderson-Lopez, blessing to marry. Elsa refuses, depth, but the music and animations “Let it Go” is one of the movie’s and in an emotional state, inadwere stunning most popular songs. The meaningvertently unleashes her powers - Chris Zhou ‘15 ful lyrics and powerful lyrics, sung and causes an eternal winter as

by Elsa attract listeners of all ages. she flees her kingdom. Finally understanding the reason why her sister has been “shutLike every movie, Frozen has its flaws that prevent it ting her out” for so many years, Anna is determined to from being the “best of the best.” One of its major points find Elsa, bring her home, and reverse the unending cold. of criticism is the feminist portrayal. In the Hans Christian Anderson So what’s so great about this tale, the majority of characters that I really liked that the love factor movie? As a character-study, was between two sisters rather than aid Elsa and Anna on their journey the film portrays the estranged the common princess and prince are female. However, in Disney’s relationship of two sisters in an - Luci Ryan ‘17 adaption, all of these characters are emotional and thoughtful light. replaced with a cast of men. Critics Though Elsa and Anna are very explain that these kinds of portrayclose when they are young, als are blatant examples of Hollywood’s lack of faith in as they grow older, they become estranged as Elsa isowomen.

However, the beautiful artistry of the movie and lates herself. As each sister grows and learns more about its heart-warming appeal charms audiences worldwide. themselves and the world, the audience’s hearts melt.

The interactions of the film are interesting to watch

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Ghibli’s Farewell

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Eli Copperman

fter the drab year 2013 brought us in the field of animated movies, I hope we can start off a new and more decent year of animated films in 2014. One film which I hold in high expectation is The Wind Rises, based on the short story “The Wind Has Risen” by Tatsuo Hori. Though originally released in the summer of 2013 in Japan, the movie was not released in America until February 21, 2014. The film is director Hayao Miyazaki’s last production, and is a stellar creation of narrative and animation – a true masterpiece with which to end his career.

The plot of the movie is slightly more realistic than many of Miyazaki’s other films because of its “based on a true story” origins. Like other film made by Studio Ghibli, the animation is spectacular and pushes animation to new heights. Hand-drawn animation is sometimes considered dead, but when it comes to Studio Ghibli’s work, they know how to reincarnate the 2D style and make it right. It’s not quite the same as other studios, but it’s beautiful to look at.

A cast of well-known actors were employed for the English release, including Joseph Gordon-Levitt from 500 Days of Summer and John Krasinski from The Office. When it comes to animated movies, voice actors always act their every move in the recording sessions, and this film is no exception.

As fans waited in anticipation for the next Studio Ghibli film to come out in America, The Wind Rises did not disappoint. What I loved the most about this animation was the realism of the narrative. As an avid fan of Studio Ghibli and Miyazaki’s work, I’m sorry to see his career come to a close.

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ENTERTAINMENT ROUND-UP

albums

Out Today

Christina Perri – Head or Heart Matt Anderson – Weightless The Used – Imaginary Enemy

live Lady Gaga April 6, 6:30 pm Roseland Theater New York, New York

April 8

The Wanted

Consider Me Dead – Young at Heart

April 11, 7:30 pm Beacon Theater New York, New York

Highasakite – Silent Treatment

April 15 Ingrid Michaelson – Lights Out NEEDTOBREATHE – Rivers in the Wasteland

May 5 Chris Brown – X Lil Wayne – Tha Carter V

May 6 Mariah Carey – Badbadnotgood – III Nikki Lane – All or Nothin’ The Horrors – Luminous

Zendaya Coleman May 2, 8:00 pm Best Buy Theatre – Times Square New York, New York

HAIM

cinema Out Now Anita Divergent Noah Sabotage Muppets Most Wanted

April 4 Captain America: The Winter Soldier

April 11 Draft Day

May 5, 7:00 pm Terminal 5 New York, New York

Rio 2

Lady Gaga

May 9

May 13, 8:00 pm Madison Square Garden New York, New York

Oculus

Neighbors

May 19

May 30

Coldplay – Ghost Stories

Maleficent APRIL 2014, THE HIGHLAND FLING

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sports

So Long, Farewell William Chen

Throughout the experience of playing high school sports, athletes develop a strong bond with their teammates and coaches. Suddenly, before they realize it, their high school sports career is ending. The Fling interviewed several seniors who reflected on their last sports season at Highland Park High School.

How did you feel after the season ended?

Jon Baay In general, I felt kind of relieved that the season ended. Even though I definitely miss soccer season now, during the last few weeks it was completely cold and I’m sure everybody was hurting from constantly playing.

After we knocked Metuchen out of States I felt like I had left it all out on the field, so when the season finally ended, we weren’t too disappointed.

Andy Powell I’m happy because I get more free time although a big part of my life is over.

Joe Ambrosio I was pretty sad that the [cross country] season ended because I could’ve ran much better if I had taken it more seriously.

Nina Xue It is always bittersweet because tennis has been a long term commitment.

I’ll miss practice and the matches, but I know that the team will do very well next year, and I wish them the best of luck.

What did you accomplish this season?

Jon Baay As a striker I think I accomplished a lot. I know people usually measure a striker’s achievement in goals, which would be fine with me, but with soccer it’s a lot more than that. I feel like every accomplishment with the team was a personal achievement as well. Objectively though, I had the 11th most goals scored for Highland Park in the Blue Division, so I am pretty proud of that.

Andy Powell I made All-County Offensive Third

THE HIGHLAND FLING, APRIL 2014

Team, which was really nice, and I feel like I just played really well throughout the season.

Andy Powell I think I’ll miss the coaches and my teammates the most because we have just been through so much together.

Joe Ambrosio Personally, I was not happy with my cross country season at all. I think I ran a lot slower than I am capable of. I treated it more as getting in shape for track than anything, so I think if I was a little bit more competitive with it I could’ve had better results. Well, as a team we finished second in the division. Our only division loss was against Dunellen, and even though it was my first year on the team I got the sense that there was a tradition of strong Highland Park XC, so it felt good to be part of a winning team. It was also cool to see everyone grow as runners throughout the season and watch people’s times drop from August to November. We improved a lot from the year before and we have a lot of young guys so we could be good for a while, which is cool.

Joe Ambrosio I’ll probably miss messing with Coach Stark the most. Everyone on the team is pretty generally well-behaved, and being that cross country isn’t exactly the most exciting sport, practices could get boring after a while. I’ve known Coach Stark for a really long time, and, as he told me, I was “the bad kid on the team” so I spent a lot of time at practice messing around with Coach Stark and trying to make what is a pretty boring sport interesting.

Nina Xue I have been on the team for four years and watched it progress. Every off season, we lose a bunch of seniors and have had to regroup our positions, so I feel that everybody has worked very hard to make it happen. For me personally, I’ve improved in my tennis skills.

What will you miss?

Jon Baay More than anything I think I’ll miss the bus rides to away games. The rides there always had a unique atmosphere, like a sort of relaxed tension where we could joke around or listen to music. It’s probably something I won’t come across ever again, so I think I’ll miss it the most.

Nina Xue I’ll definitely miss joking about building “six packs” when we do workouts, Jamie’s mom’s awesome food, and all around great friendships.

What was your favorite memory of the season?

Jon Baay My favorite memory probably was beating Carteret at Donaldson Park this past season. They put some huge defender on me for the whole game named “Prince,” and his job was to just shove me around and intimidate me. We were tied 1-1 in the last few minutes and Harry sent me an in-the-air through ball over the defense, which I scored. I’m sure everyone needs that one moment where they score the winning goal at the last minute, and I’ll always remember mine.

Andy Powell My favorite memory is probably when Ogemdi got really mad at the Manville game because someone hit him; his face was just so funny.

Joe Ambrosio My first memorable moment was when we had an early morning summer practice. There had been optional practices the entire summer and this was one of the first mandatory practices, and it was my first practice with the team because I had been all over the place over the summer. So it was my first practice back and I was horribly out of shape, and we were doing a fartlek [a type of training which incorporates high and low intensity intervals] that day, and fartlek’s are probably the hardest thing that any cross country team does. While we were warming up I turned to Maverick and Coach Stark and said “I’m going to throw up today during the workout” but they didn’t believe me.

About 15 minutes into the workout, I was running with Maverick, and I stopped and started throwing up. The whole time I was puking Maverick was just standing there completely unfazed as if he sees that happening all the time. Maverick waited for me to finish puking then we finished the workout. The other memory is [when] we were at Holmdel which is a really famous course for an extra meet that Stark had signed us up for. He was talking to the team about warming up, getting to know the course, and all that stuff, when he suddenly turned around and saw Tiger climbing a tree. We were, like, 20 minutes away from the race and Tiger was climbing a tree. Mr. Stark, who rarely gets angry or yells, looked up the tree and started yelling at Tiger to get down and threatened to pull him from the race.

Nina Xue My favorite memory is definitely tennis volleyball or ping pong. It’s always such a thrill when you know that you can potentially hit someone.

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sports

Bad News for Beckham

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Warren Yee

avid Beckham is a retired professional soccer player, who has played soccer with famous teams such as Manchester United, Real Madrid, and Los Angeles Galaxy. He recently decided to buy a new team, worth $25 million, to be placed in South Florida in the city of Miami as Major League Soccer’s 22nd team. However, the team will not play until the 2016 season.

Beckham’s new team faces complications as they don’t have a stadium yet, unlike other new teams. Logistical difficulties of the endeavor include a lack of location and funding. The idea was to build the stadium alongside PortMiami, the local seaport, but the proposal was nixed because of the objections of county leaders, who suggested that it would interfere with Miami’s revenue.

The mayor of Miami-Dade County would probably object to the team’s use of public money to build the stadium. He believed that it was wrong to use $100 million of public money to help the Miami Marlins build their stadium, and wrong to use tax money to renovate the stadium for the Miami Dolphins in recent years. The construction of the Marlin’s Stadium cost some politicians their jobs, so the probability of constructing a new soccer stadi-

um will not go undebated.

However, Beckham and his team have the possibility of using the Dolphin’s home stadium or the stadium of Florida International University for the time being. Hopefully when these problems are resolved, David Beckham’s new soccer team will be more successful than the Tampa Bay Mutiny and the Miami Fusion, both of which have failed to attract serious attention from fans.

HOUSE HUNTERS Beckham searches for a new stadium in the hopes of securing a home for his new team.

The Frisbeasts Camryn Kozachek

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DISK JOCKEY Keith Gerstmann ’17 marvels at the wonder of his sport.

f you’ve been searching for a different spring sport to join, the answer might just hit you—or, rather, a Frisbee might, if you happen to be walking across the turf after school this spring.

When we think of high school spring athletics, the sports that often come to mind are track and field, baseball, and softball.

One of the lesser known spring Highland Park High School activities, however, is playing on the ultimate Frisbee team. Ultimate Frisbee has been around for over 30 years, and is quickly gaining popularity in the United States, as well as in Highland Park High School.

The school’s team was started in the early 2000’s by several students. The team has been expanding over the years, and now has 15-20 people involved. This year, the captains are Jason Rudolph ’14 and Keith Gerstmann ’17. The team practices on the turf or in the park after school, if the weather permits, and the games usually take place on Saturday afternoons beginning in March. Although it is not an official school team, the team does play against other schools.

If you enjoy tossing a Frisbee around in gym or after school, you may want to consider joining the team. Anyone is welcome to join the ultimate Frisbee team; however, it is slightly more competitive than the games played in your average gym class. Captain Jason Rudolph, said, “I really loved playing ultimate frisbee in gym class freshman year but people always got mad at me for playing too seriously. That’s when I was told by a senior in my class about the ultimate Frisbee team. I went to a Saturday game and played in it. Since then, I’ve been playing on the team.” In recent years, the Highland Park High School ultimate Frisbee team has been victorious, with an undefeated season last spring of 8 winning games.

While the ultimate Frisbee team has been viewed in lesser esteem than more established Highland Park sports, it is trying to alter its image this year. Co-captain, Keith Gerstmann, says, “We are hoping to be a serious team this year and have already entered New Jersey High School Ultimate (NJHSU) which is comprised of 28 other teams in the state.”

APRIL 2014, THE HIGHLAND FLING