how to look enigmatic instead of lost in lower napier

how to look enigmatic instead of lost in napier

Words by: maddie mcshane

Napier: A hotchpotch of faculties at the best of times, a lobby for lost souls at the worst. With the usual path between Ligertwood and the rest of Uni being obstructed by construction for what seems like literally no reason at all, the new transit route to your 2 pm seminar has never looked less favourable. Up the stairs, out, around, who knows really? Let’s face it, you’re going to get confused in Napes sometime soon, so you might as well look intriguing doing it.

make haste

Money is time and time is best spent outside of the Napier building. Make your way through the building in a brisk walk or, even better, a light jog, to communicate to everyone how incredibly busy you are. This is a good opportunity to wear a skirt so that you can hitch it and take the stairs two at a time. Your trot will leave everyone wondering what you could possibly be dashing off to, and whether they can come too.

accost a stranger

Confidently approaching strangers is a brilliant way to ensure you are perceived as mystifying and intriguing. By affronting them with a bold question, like “Where are the buns, bunny boy?” or “Where can I find the law building?” You are sure to catch them off guard and assert that you have the upper hand in the interaction. They will leave perplexed and wanting to know more. loiter in the stairwell

Nothing is certain in life but death, taxes, and the inherent loiterability of stairwells. A historically reputed location to cry, sing, and deposit your new graffiti tag. This is also a prime location to linger and convey an intense air of mystery. For maximum effect, you can take this opportunity to lean back on the banister and gaze out of the window longingly. Are you pensively reflecting on your state of mind? Pining for a love that will never be your own? Taking a moment to grieve the loss of your dead husband? No one will ever know, an amusement which will add to the thrill of your theatrical escapades.

As someone probably once said, there is a yearning, sexually repressed enigma within all of us. The Liggy-Nap funnel is the ultimate place to let it out.