Volume 119 Issue 16
The Record Horace Mann’s Weekly Newspaper Since 1903
record.horacemann.org
Feature: Gender presentation beyond the binary, reflecting on society and self Emily Sun Staff Writer “It all started in eighth grade,” Dylan Acharjee (12) said. They always wore their hair down to their lower back until one day, they decided on a whim to tuck it under a hat so it looked like they had short hair. All the signs of their identity as a transgender person, from when they said “I wish I was a boy” in fifth grade recess, to when they wanted a flat chest like the boys from their swim unit, clicked into place. “I was like, ‘hang on, I kind of like being seen as this more masculine version of myself,’” they said. Acharjee is a nonbinary transgender man, which means their gender falls between male and nonbinary, they said. For both transgender people — those whose gender does not align with the gender they were assigned at birth — and cisgender people, gender norms shape how they choose to present themselves through their appearances, styles, behaviors, and mannerisms. Gendered expectations set the terms around which styles are open to who and how much effort is socially acceptable. “As a woman, there’s a lot more societal pressure
and I don’t want to take up as much space as because I feel like I’m showing myself off.” That internalized anxiety shaped her behavior in classes when she was younger, Hida said. Even if teachers did not expect her to, she felt the need to seem subordinate for a better grade. “I used to think that I had to form my responses in such a way that they were less confident,” she said. “I would preface with, ‘I’m not sure’ or ‘I think it’s a stupid idea.’” Recently, Hida feels more comfortable in masculine styles such as loose sweatpants and sweatshirts that cover her physique, rather than form-fitting, feminine items that show her body. “It doesn’t make me think so much about whether my stomach’s out, if I have a muffin top, or if my waist is being sucked in constantly because my waistband is two sizes smaller than it should be,” she said. Cisgender men also have to defy societal norms for authenticity, Joaquin Ramirez Villarreal (12) said. He has grown more comfortable with his selfexpression, but expectations for how men should dress still limit his choices. “I don’t think I’m as adventurous as I could be — I think it’s really cool when guys go out and wear crop tops and stuff, and
“People feel a need to label certain things, certain clothes, certain mannerisms feminine or masculine because they are uncomfortable with ambiguity. It just hurts society because it tells people a way to live, and it hinders authenticity.” - Joan* for me to look good all the time, even if I’m just going to school,” Lian Ayedemir (12) said. Ever since she was 12, she planned her outfits the night before and woke up early to do her makeup. The pressure was especially apparent in junior year, when she caught herself worrying about what to wear even after she stayed up until 3 a.m. for schoolwork. Ayedemir stopped dressing for others after that realization, she said. Instead, she wears the skirts, lace dresses, cardigans, and jewelry that she likes, she said. “I always keep in mind, ‘am I putting so much effort into how I look just because I like it, or do I subconsciously want external validation, especially male validation?’” The male gaze describes the pressure to retain social value from men by being pretty, smart (but not too smart), and timid, Tomoko Hida (12) said. “Despite my will to pursue the feminist agenda in all parts of my life, I still fall victim to pining after male validation.” Hida noticed how she catered her appearance and actions to how men or people of higher status might perceive her because she worried that they might lose respect for her otherwise, she said. “I often make myself very small when I am wearing more feminine clothes,
I haven’t been able to get to that stage,” he said. “An implicit bias of mine is worrying that I’m going to go too far with an outfit, or that I’m going to make myself the object of ridicule because I’ve been too liberal with my expression.” Gendered norms for men have made Matthew Aponte (12) second-guess choices over his appearance, like painting his nails or wearing pink clothing, he said. Even when societal standards are not overt, they still have a subconscious effect by steering people towards certain styles depending on their gender, Avi Rao (11) said. His usual outfit is a long-sleeved shirt and tan corduroy pants, with a dash of pink on his shoes. “I don’t try to look traditionally masculine or conventionally feminine, and I don’t think gender really plays into what I choose,” he said. “If I wanted to wear more conventionally feminine clothes, I totally could, but I personally just have a preference.” Cultural signifiers set masculine presentation as the default, math teacher Benjamin Kafoglis said. For
example, the signage on bathrooms shows men as the standard, while women are identified by the addon dress. Rather than a set of identifiable qualities, masculinity is sometimes defined as the absence of femininity, he said.
societal expectations to present as their gender identity,” computer science teacher Avery Feingold said. “I, as a nonbinary person, have a sort of relative privilege compared to binary trans folks where I feel comfortable being perceived in a variety of ways, rather than having a particular identity that I want to strive for.”
Vivian Coraci/Art Director
Kafoglis’ style leans masculine — long pants, collared shirt, short hair — though he has considered deviating from the norm and tried painting his nails, for example. He found that he feels more comfortable presenting in traditionally masculine ways, he said. “It feels good to know that this is an active choice, not something I’ve just fallen into because it’s the male thing.” Gender presentation intersects with sexuality, as certain signifiers incorrectly connote homosexuality, especially for men. Aponte worries that others might mislabel his sexuality based on stereotypes that gay people are involved in theater and “flamboyant,” since the tone of his voice fluctuates as he talks and he punctuates his speech with hand gestures — mannerisms that deviate from the expectation for heterosexual men to be monotone and stoic, he said. “It’s as if people are talking about you behind your back, but I don’t know what they are saying,” he said. “That’s where the anxiety comes from — not knowing how people will react.” Joan*, who is anonymous because she does not want to out herself as queer, said that the more authentic version of herself is a mix between feminine and masculine qualities — she wears
January 28th, 2022
crewnecks and her dad’s sweaters, as well as tight-fitting crop tops. However, social representations of women’s beauty through the eyes of men pushes Joan towards a strictly feminine appearance and demeanor when she talks to men she is romantically interested in, she said. She is more comfortable with a fluid gender expression when she is with women or nonbinary people. “I’ve been trying to be more authentic, no matter who I’m talking to, but it’s still a work in progress,” she said. As diverse as gender presentation is between cis and trans folks collectively, there is as much diversity again within trans communities. “Cis people have the privilege of not actively f i g ht i ng against
The unease that arises from an incongruence between one’s socially perceived gender and their true identity is termed gender dysphoria, Trish Tran (11) said. They are nonbinary and experience dysphoria when others group them with women, they said. “It’s a discomfort and agitation, but on a deeper level, it’s feeling like I’m not being respected.”
see Gender Presentation on pg. 3
Felix Brener/Staff Artist