I Am Enough
™
The Movement in Words
An internationally recognized magazine
Sisterh
Mar. 2014
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I AM Enough Institute Store
March 2014
I Am Enough
™
The Movement in Words
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Sisterhood ~ The Key to Your Ad for Success Outrageous Anita M. Jackson Cafeby: Dr. Press
The I Am Enough Institute is dedicated to empowering women, especially young college women, in their personal and academic pursuit and goals. To do so, we have established the
“I Am Enough Young College Women’s Scholarship Fund.” Twice a year we will be awarding a young college woman with a scholarship to support her academic year. 10% of all purchases made through our Institute store will be allocated to our scholarship. Please visit our main website at www.iamenoughinstitute.com and store to get an updated on who has been awarded. Your support is greatly appreciated as you help spread the movement of “I Am Enough” by purchasing and using our products.
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Sacred Sisterhood
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Sisterhood! A Love Story.
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Sisterhood
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The Many Faces of Sisterhood
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Your Rival, Your Sister
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It Takes a Village
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Time To Take Your Stand
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Courage Takes LOVE and a Sisterhood!
by: Ivana Siska
by: Andréa Dykstra by: Monika Zands
by: Elise Cohen Ho by: Janet Thomas
by: Nancy Mueller by: Amy Cheryl
by: Kim Boudreau Smith
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Sisterhood in Good Health
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Secret Science of Wealth – Magic of Your Mind
by: Sharon Otness
by: Debbie Dobbins
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Featured Writers
Publisher Dr. Anita M. Jackson draj@iamenoughinstitute.com Editor -In-Chief Elise Cohen Ho
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www.cafepress.com/theiamenoughinstitutestore
elisecohenho@iamenoughinstitute.com
Graphic Designer Jennifer Williams yourdesignsbyjen@gmail.com www.creativedesignsbyjen.com
Letter from the Publisher Dr. Anita M. Jackson Whew, can you believe it’s already March? It feels like only a week ago we were entering into 2014. How have you been doing with your New Year intentions and goals? Here at the Institute, we are on track and loving the new direction and additions we have added to our team and magazine. In this issue, our focus is on Sisterhood and the power of what happens when women come together collectively in any type of setting that allows and supports her divine highest development of self. If you will recall, in our January issue I personally deemed 2014 as The Year of Becoming. I still feel very strongly about this theme and intention for this year believing that if every woman makes a conscious decision to fully, powerfully, and unapologetically step into her next level of being, living, and doing life and business outrageous well, she will experience a higher level of satisfaction, happiness, wealth and abundance and so much more in every area of her life. Apart of being and creating that success comes from recognizing that we are relational beings, especially women, and it is in our sisterhood with other likeminded, highly influential women that we experience understanding, support, and an increase in faith, energy, and vibration. To further support our theme; in this issue we have included little snippets of my quick conversations with each of our Featured Writers about what sisterhood means to them and how it influences their feeling good enough and their outrageous success. After reading the article, take a few minutes to connect to each of us as your virtual sisters so desiring your outrageous success in 2014. Personally, I couldn’t be more proud and honored to have each of our Featured Writers as my sisters in various aspect of my personal life and the business of the Institute. If you really want to step into your next level of outrageous success, in either your personal life and/or business, I encourage you to reach out to myself or any of us here at the Institute and let us be your ultimate support and resource. We look forward to our growing sisterhood with each of you, our readers. Until next time, You ARE Enough…You Always Have Been…You Always Will Be!
Dr. Anita M. Jackson, EdD Founder and CEO of The I Am Enough Institute Website: www.iamenoughinstitute.com Dr. Anita’s Success Coaching Website: www.dranitamjackson.com Audio by Dr. Anita M. Jackson
Listen Now
Empowering Women To Know They Are Enough
The I Am Enough Institute presents...
I Am Enough
™
The Movement in Words
I AM ENOUGH is dedicated to igniting and transforming the heart, soul, and mind of women from a false, negative belief system of “I am not good enough” to a positive, empowering mindset of “I Am Enough.” Catering to women between the ages of 18 to 65, I AM ENOUGH will provide a platform for women to rediscover and reconnect to their authentic truth and purpose as well as reclaim their spiritual, feminine power and intuition for the intent of bring back harmony and balance to herself, her relationships, her community and the world. We believe that when a woman is empowered she is more than enough in all her beauty, wisdom, glory, and her power.
Issue Timeframe
Winter (Jan/Feb) Spring (March/April/May) Summer (June/July/August) Fall (Sept/Oct) Holidays (Nov/Dec)
Publish Date Jan. 13, 2014 Mar. 3, 2014 June 2, 2014 Sept. 1, 2014 Nov. 3, 2014
Each issue will offer the following:
Letter from the Publisher Letter from the Editor Vibrant Health and Wellness Mental and Emotional Wellness Meaningful Relationships and Intimacy Spiritual Empowerment Lifestyle Financial Wealth and Abundance Upcoming Institute Events and Announcements Pearls of Wisdom
The I Am Enough Institute
We are a multi-service based female personal development empowerment educational agency. Our staff includes a multicultural team of dedicated and highly experienced women with varied personal and career backgrounds ready to provide their wealth of knowledge and expertise in empowering, teaching and helping women confidently know that they are enough while living whole and outrageously well. Our passion and ultimate intention is to ignite a spirit and knowing of “I Am Enough” within all women that will empower, inspire, and validate them on their journey to rediscovering their true authentic selves. Through a wealth of exciting services, programs, resources, and venues, women will have access to rich transformational information and passionate successful leaders that will assist them in remembering who they are and how to live fully and purposefully on their own terms. In addition, women who participate in our Institute will learn, grow, network, and connect to other like-minded women around the world creating a global sisterhood and female empowerment movement like never before.
Contact Us
I AM ENOUGH Magazine c/o The I Am Enough Institute P.O. Box 292 Azusa, CA 91702 Website: www.iamenoughinstitute.com Email: support@iamenoughinstitute.com Phone Number: (641) 715-3900 ext. 639452# To advertise with our magazine, please contact our advertising department at support@iamenoughinstitute.com for our 2014 Media Kit!
Letter from the Editor-In-Chief Elise Cohen Ho Sisterhood. When we first discussed and set the focus for this issue of I Am Enough magazine I got chills. I kid you not; I am not exaggerating in the slightest. The idea was presented to me and it just felt right. I was asked what I thought and it was simple, no conversation at all. I boldly declared, “I LOVE IT. Let’s do it.” I then reached out to our fabulous writers and presented the theme under which they would be writing. I told these amazing women, this topic “is so absolutely perfect for this magazine and for you wonderful group of ladies who definitely made me feel like I was part of a sisterhood from the moment that I joined the team. Thank you for that.” You see, sisterhood is about loving one another, supporting one another and being your authentic self with one another. The women that help us put together this amazing magazine, which is growing every day, are the people who do just that. Every single contributor involved with I Am Enough Magazine, from myself to Dr. Anita to the writers all the way through to our graphic designer, strive to do this every day for each other, for family, for clients and for you, our readers. Thank you for joining hands with us in sisterhood. We are excited to travel this journey together. Please reach out and let me know how I, and the entire I Am Enough team, can support you in sisterhood and help you to live in your POWER! My email is elisecohenho@iamenoughinstitute.com. I hope to hear from you soon. Happy New Year! To our SISTERHOOD! Naturally Yours,
Elise Cohen Ho, Editor-In Chief www.elisecohenho.com
PhDc, HHP
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Success Coaching with Dr. Anita M. Jackson,
Founder and CEO of The I Am Enough Institute & Outrageous Success Women’s Network
Dr. Anita M. Jackson’s ultimate mission is to empower every woman to know that she is enough AND can be outrageously successful in her personal life and business too! It is time for women to develop a new identity and level of power, authority, leadership that heals and transforms a woman’s life from merely existing to the highest level of thriving.
Success Coaching with Dr. Anita focuses on: • Developing a deeper sense of inner self-confidence and worth • Empowering a high level of divine feminine intuition and wisdom • Releasing past emotional and energetic traumas and patterns • Strengthening your inner personal success mastery and power • Empowering women in their feminine wealth consciousness • Support in the development of an outrageously successful mindset • Feminine strategic planning for personal and business success • Personalized attention to a client’s current challenges, needs, goals and intentions Dr. Anita offers several success coaching packages designed to powerfully propel her client’s to their next level of outrageous success. For specific details and prices, visit Dr. Anita’s website at www.dranitamjackson.com or contact her at: Email: dranita@dranitamjackson.com Phone Number: 641/715-3900 Ext. 639452#
Sisterhood ~ The Key to Your Outrageous Success by Dr. Anita M. Jackson being a woman! I love being in the comIWeLOVE pany of women. Women are fascinating beings. are multi-faceted, multi-dimensional, intricate,
complex and dynamic all at once and when gathered together as sisters in one heart and mindset, we are powerful. While in my MFT (Marriage and Family Therapy) program, I was introduced to the power of oxytocin and its effect on the body, the brain, and relationships. From that point forward I became fascinated with this amazing hormone and the brain based research associated with it. As years continued in my study and practice as a psychotherapist and as my understanding of oxytocin deepened, it became abundantly clear that people, especially women, had a very limited understanding of this major hormone and brain neurotransmitter. What research has proven over the past 15 years is that if the benefits of oxytocin were fully understood, more women would experience higher levels of peace, calm, and self-confidence as well as prosperity, wealth and abundance. In a nutshell, oxytocin for a woman is her golden ticket to feeling less stress, more fulfilled and satisfied in almost every area in her life. So you’re probably thinking, “How does oxytocin have anything to do with sisterhood and success?” Glad you asked. Traditionally, most women understand that oxytocin, a.k.a. the love hormone, allows her to “bond” or feel a deep sense of connection to her spouse or partner during intimacy and sex as well as to her child during the birthing and breastfeeding process. However, what most do not know is that recent research has revealed that women also release this hormone to cope with high levels of stress. When a woman is experiencing a high level of stress due to work and life demands, she produces the major stress hormone called cortisol which counteracts the production of oxytocin. During stressful situations, a woman produces double the amount of cortisol that causes her to, get this, work even harder leading to an increase in physical and psychological problems that ultimately creates a vicious cycle of what I call being “broke, busted and disgusted.” This also explains why so many women are secretly unhappy, depressed, anxious, bitter, and lonely. Statistically, the current percentage of
women experiencing these disturbing dynamics ranges from 40-60% (that’s a little too high in my opinion). However, when a woman is in, “… a safe, cooperative, caring, supportive, and nurturing situations…,” according to Dr. John Gray in his book Venus on Fire Mars on Ice, she produces oxytocin causing her stress levels to begin to decline. Why is this important? Well, on the opposite side of research, there is a significant amount of information currently emerging that states when women are in community with one another, whether in individual or group settings, they produce a higher dosage of oxytocin and neurological brain chemicals such as serotonin (affects moods and thoughts) that supports their ability to accomplish various goals and tasks by 80% as well as vastly improve their overall health and well-being, mood and thoughts, relationships, finances as well as wealth and abundance. This only confirms that when women unite in one heart, soul and spirit, a woman’s overall feminine essence and power rises to the point that she is holistically affected in every area of her life. Basically, research has affirmed and continues to uphold that when women are in community or in relationship with one another on a regular basis (hint, hint), without fear of competition, jealously, judgment and criticism, we heal and again are powerful. From a different perspective, being that oxytocin is considered a “bonding” hormone, I also believe that when a woman is utilizing various techniques within the Laws of Attraction AND is in community or collaboration with other likeminded women, her ability to attract more into her life (or bond things to her) directly influences her faith, energy, and vibration to such a degree that her serotonin and oxytocin levels raises making the process of manifesting her intentions, desires, and goals that much easier. The question then becomes, what activities must a woman engage in, in order to experience and maintain a high level of oxytocin to attract the life she desires and deserves?
Oxytocin-Producing Activities Before giving several activities to help women produce higher levels of oxytocin, one of the first areas we must consider is a woman’s willingness to allow herself the time to participate in the following activities to produce oxytocin. Often, women are overextended and overwhelmed moving from one activity to the next that taking time for herself is challenging. On a mental/emotional level, I often hear women say they feel “guilty” taking time for themselves for fear that doing so will hinder their ability to give or care for others as well as take care of responsibilities in her work and/or life. By the way, here’s a little side note. The feeling of “guilt” is usually the wrong emotion a woman is feeling because the original (or first) definition for the word. Guilt means, to commit a moral wrong. In this context, I often ask women, “Is doing something for yourself morally wrong?” And as you can guess I often hear, NO! So the question becomes, what are you really feeling that is causing you to believe that doing something for yourself is wrong? This usually takes more self-exploration to find the answer and it is my hope that you’ll do so or at least seek support from a therapist or coach to help you uncover your answer. Unconsciously, this maybe what is blocking you from manifesting more in your life. Just something to think about… To return to the topic of allowing ourselves to participate in activities that produce oxytocin, this must become a priority in a woman’s life as it is essential to her overall sense of self in addition to her overall health and well-being in order to experience outrageous success in her personal life and business. • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
Hugging Sex Playing with someone’s hair, getting your hair done Listening to soothing music or playing a musical instrument Mani/Pedi Massages Creative activities Social gatherings (preparing for parties, cooking, family projects, etc.) Receiving personal attention such as working with personal coach or trainer Talking to a trusted and safe girlfriend Holding a baby Browsing through a book or magazine Attending entertainment events (concerts or theaters) Working with an therapist, coach or participating in a group mastermind program Spending time in nature Prayer and meditation Playing with pets Dancing Yoga Supporting charity or donating to a worthy cause Celebrating others Journaling daily Mindfulness practice (Buddhist philosophy) Walking on earth or sand (tons of research shows this affects you energetically and supports feeling grounded) Implementing herbal supplements
Although these activities are amazing, the most powerful way to raise your oxytocin level is in relationship with another person whether face-to-face, virtually, or by phone. In these opportunities, intend to create moment by moment quality experiences, you will feel heard, seen, and valued. Enjoy being woman. Enjoy connecting to other women. Enjoy the power of Sisterhood ~ Your Key to Outrageous Success. Smooches! Dr. Anita Dr. Anita M. Jackson
Sacred Sisterhood by Ivana Siska
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“When we (women) get together with intention, nothing can stop us.”
love the task of writing for this magazine. Sure, it’s yet another responsibility to follow through on, another promise to keep, one more thing on my to-do list, and another blank page and deadline staring me square in the face when I sit down to write, but it sure has its perks. I am grateful for the opportunity, and the challenge it presents, and for the multitude of benefits I receive from being a contributing writer. Not only do I get to express my thoughts and feelings to an audience of women, all of whom I wish to serve, but I also get to experience one of the most comforting, nurturing and uplifting gifts this fine world can give, and that, my friend, is the paradoxically exclusive inclusion in a sacred sisterhood.
Sisterhood is a magical club. It’s the sorority of life that you and I can join just because we are women. We have access to one another’s brilliance, guidance, creativity, experience, support, and closets. We share stories, recipes, and sometimes, even men. When we join forces, and recognize that we are all after the same thing in life, and that we are all special, beautiful, loved, valued, and adored… well, then, we’ve just created the ultimate manifestation machine.
“Every woman can sense the soul of her sisters.”
Imagine if we all stood shoulder-to-shoulder and heart to heart in our intentions. How delicious we would make life taste for everyone, if we, as women, the leaders and creators of the future of life on this planet, took a step forward in unison and vowed out loud,
Women united, harness the pure, full force of Mother Nature, the energy of all Goddesses past, and sow the seeds of unlimited creative possibility. When we focus those energies into uplifting and supporting one another, we soar. When we chanSisterhood can be defined simply as an association nel all of our individual powers and love, collectiveor unification of women united in a common cause, ly as a group, we alter the vibration of whatever we choose to charge with this essence of change. We but it’s much, much more than that to me. are mighty, we are dynamic, and we are a force.
Being a part of a sisterhood is like bathing in a vast ocean of wisdom, adventure and love. A sisterhood can pull at you like the tide, and carry you upon the waves of life, or drag you to the deepest depths, simply to teach you to swim. Ever since I was a little girl, I have always been in awe of other women. I remember noticing how women could communicate with another with their eyes alone, and how they just seemed to know exactly what to do whenever they gathered as a group. Women, especially groups of women, give off an extremely potent energy that can move mountains. Have you felt it? When women get together with intention, nothing can stop them. Did I just say, “them”? Allow me to rephrase that…
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“I am enough I am more than enough.” Oh, my Goddess! I believe the ground just shook! We are so incredibly powerful. That, my lovely friend, is what I feel when I even think of what Sisterhood can do. I am so grateful to be a part of the sisterhood that is this magazine and the women in this community. This sisterhood is dedicated to helping each woman see and own her brilliance, to hear and amplify her voice, and to be inclusive and supportive. Our sisterhood nurtures and inspires, our sisterhood plans and conspires… to make life better, to empower, to strengthen, to nourish and to make every woman feel, beyond any doubt that she is part of the family.
“Pay if forward, be a soul sister.” Lead by example. Identify, invite, and include the sisters in your life. Acknowledge and respect one another. Mentor young ladies. Teach little girls. Share the things that you wish someone had shared with you. Give your gifts graciously, and receive such in return. Compete with one another on the court, but not in life. Put sisters before misters, and know that boyfriends come and go, but real friends are forever. Sisterhood is love energy shared between women. It’s kindness, truth and beauty passed back and forth, as required to make us blossom and thrive. It’s the thing that can change a moment… or a life.
Tips on Starting your own Successful Sisterhood: • Pick a Purpose. Whatever you are passionate about can become the core of your Sisterhood. • Select your Sisters & Commit. Approach women you admire and ask them to join you in your purpose. • Share your Passion. Create a mission statement for your sisterhood, and set up a structure and activities for sharing and accomplishing your goals. • Meet Regularly. Sisterhoods require bonding, trust and dependability. Be there for one another. • Sweeten the Pot. Make the sisterhood a win-win, positive situation and fun for everyone. Go ahead, be girly and plan spa days or vacation together, have yummy snacks or treats at all your get-togethers, start traditions, create a charity, get sisterhood rings, or a mascot, take lots of pictures, make-over houses, volunteer abroad or make up a song. The more special you make the group, the more special the sisterhood experience will be.
“Love your sisters. Women rule the world. Sisterhood is power.”
Audio by Ivana Siska
Listen Now Ivana Siska
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Sisterhood! A Love Story. by Andréa Dykstra early life was predominantly influenced by M ymales, and the energy of the shadow side of
the masculine; a momentum that is invasive, controlling, and hard. When I was two and a half years old I was kidnapped. Before my third birthday, a male raped me.
I was mentally, emotionally, sexually, and physically abused, tortured, and controlled by males for decades. I began to believe that it was not safe to be feminine. I was angry with the Divine Feminine, and through my fractured psyche, I perceived her gentleness as weakness. I shut her out, and protected myself within masculine energy. I held myself separate from my Goddess sisters, shunning their gentle ways of intimacy; I buried those aspects of myself. I had spent at least thirty years of my life subconsciously distrustful of my mother for abandoning me, a lie that was turned inside out while we were watching The Secret Lives of Bees. I was raw with emotion, the onscreen tragedy overwhelming me, I blurted out, “Why would her father come and take her? He doesn’t even want her!” My mom, equally as torn open, broke her silence on the past, “I don’t know, ask your father!” The story unfolded on the couch, among tissues and tears, disbelief and rage. My mom did not give me away; my father kidnapped us during one of his visitation sessions. She voluntarily gave up custody years later (after she found out we were in another country), and told herself that – with my father remarried – we would benefit more being raised in the care of two parents. The lies that my mind had built up – she doesn’t love me; she doesn’t care about me; I am not good enough – were obliterated in one moment of conscious recognition. I was reconciled with the Divine Feminine, and the aching in my heart was filled with her compassion; my Spirit saturated in Quan Yin1 energy. 12
I began to explore the path of the Goddess, integrating the aspects of dark and light, healer and creator, virgin and consort, Priestess and Crone. Through this process, I was able to awaken to my creative sexual energy2 and heal my relationship with the feminine. This healing allowed me to attract a more balanced male energy, one that could see its feminine counterpart within the textures of its own form and celebrate the pulse of that energy. The men who aligned themselves with my energy were the ones who would lay in front of the Goddess in utter surrender and allow his Divine Feminine Energy. This healed man is the one who will sigh with pleasure in your arms when he is quenched of his need to be filled with you, treat you with respect, and ravish you with his desire. I was blessed to experience the Divine Masculine side of the male energy - focused, generous, and transformative. With this new perspective, I allowed the completion of the Divine Feminine. I drew out the shadow side, and transformed it with light. I was safe to be feminine. I opened myself to the intimacy of Sisterhood! I am privileged to find myself surrounded by wise and wonderful women who have found that serene balance point between the Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine. Business owners, entrepreneurs, transformative guides, speakers, artists, healers, mothers, daughters, sisters, change-makers…I join each of these women in the sacredness of sisterhood. I can recall one of the women in this group of sisters sharing a story with me about her sexual experience with a woman. She was speaking of a time when she was disconnected from the Divine Feminine. This sister of my Soul ended the conversation saying that she didn’t “know what that relationship was about.”
We spoke about the experience again, much later. She said that she had found clarity around the purpose of that relationship; she believed that it was a necessary step in the process of healing her own femininity. I loved her answer! And, I could see the wisdom in her statement. What an innovative way to learn to love herself as the sexual energy of the Divine Feminine, by lavishing it on another woman and absorbing the reflection! The path of healing is different for everyone, and I adore that she allowed herself the dignity of her process. A sister is one who offers unconditional love and support no matter what the nature of our unique journey.
After the birth of three brothers, in my thirteenth year of life I was blessed with the gift of a sister! I love her with every ounce of my being! Geography, and the age difference, combined with a challenging family dysfunction is a chasm that I am still learning how to bridge. It means that I don’t always get to share as intimately with her as I would like, and in reflecting upon that, I realized that there are likely other women who would benefit from the special love that exists between sisters. For all of the women who I share the bond of sisterhood with, I am honored to offer you a love letter.
Not limited to a familial tie, it is a bond that we share with the women who listen to our deepest secrets, wishes, and desires. We experience similar hopes, joys, and sorrows; we speak to each other in truth, and honor the path of another free from judgment.
Andréa Dykstra
Sister dear, The only thing that I ever desire for you is that you would be able to see yourself through my eyes. Would your eyes open in wonder as the truth of your brilliance is revealed? Yours is a shine that extends far beyond simple beauty, intelligence, and charm. You call them imperfections, however, I adore your scars; I see the perfection of you, the one who endured much, and healed the unimaginable wounds that lay like lion’s claw marks across your heart. I understand your journey. I feel your longing, and see your discontent; I sense your disbelief. If I could share only a few words of wisdom, I would say, “Know this…” • Love can overcome anything! • Forgiveness can heal any wound. • Listening to your intuition will set you free! • There is no suffering when you refuse to judge anything (or anyone). • Touching the fear3 will dissolve the illusion; and you will realize that you can achieve anything! Anything that you can dream, you can create! Use these keys to set yourself free. Allow these truths to support you as you live with grace and fluidity, uplifted and stimulated by the Divine Feminine energy. May you find yourself inspired by the sheer power that is available to you when you integrate these into your life’s journey? I love you, sister dear, always, and, all ways. In recognition of International Woman’s Day, please share this gift with all of the women who you are honored to be in Sisterhood with! 1 The Goddess of Compassion in Buddhist tradition. 2 Heal your creative sexual energy, and attract your twin flame: http://bit.ly/1jgjonE 3 I shared this 8-step process in the #1 International Bestseller The Missing Piece: A Transformational Journey. You’ll find it in my chapter, “I’m not afraid of the dark!” 13
Sisterhood by Monika Zands
Dear Sister, I have been so blessed to have a family who has always wanted the best for me. They cheered for me at every swim meet and cross-country race, they rushed to my side after car accidents, celebrated my birthdays and graduations and supported me through child birth and miscarriages. Yet, no matter how much they loved and supported me, sometimes I still felt a void in my heart that even my family was unable to fill. What I discovered to help fill that void was... Sisterhood.
Dear Alexandria,
My dear sweet little sister, I am so grateful that Papa always said to us that we were lucky to have My sisters. Not only my actual sister, but the tribe each other and that we must always protect, love, of women who have had my back at every turn, who have leant their shoulder to cry on, their ear and listen to each other. Thank you for moving to listen with, and their hearts to commiserate with. to Los Angeles when I was pregnant with Avery. I The incredible women who have been with me didn’t even know to ask you to come, and I could through thick and thin, who have cheered for me, never have imagined the supportive role you who have protected me, and who have loved me would play in each of my children’s lives. I am so when I felt unlovable. They have warmed my heart honored that I was always the first call you would when I felt sad, lost and confused. make when you were in trouble or when you were However, it wasn’t always this way. For years, I felt sad. Even if I couldn’t make it all better, at least I knew you trusted me with your heart. Thank you heart broken and betrayed by the women whom for listening to my complaints about my work or my I considered to be my best friends. Though we vowed to be lifelong friends that would always sup- finances, or even my husband. What a gift it was to get my hurt off my chest and feel safe that you port each other, they each ended our relationship did not judge me, or my circumstances. You have telling me that my expectations of our friendship were too high. taught me how to be a sister and how to listen to you. I have always felt loved, supported, appreciOver time I learned that I was not the only one. ated and cherished by you. In return, I have also Many women feel like they are alone. They have loved, supported, protected, cherished and apprefelt betrayed, judged and discarded by their best ciated you. When we were younger and you would friends. They have felt like they have had to figure sneak out to hang with your friends, I would always life out by themselves. My experience shifted dracover for you. I worried about you, but was also matically as my awareness of what I needed and how to love myself grew. I was no longer attracted excited for you to be adventurous. I have always had your back and I always will. Most recently, I to people whose issues were clouding their gifts am so excited to watch you step into motherhood and purpose. Instead, I began to surround myself with people who loved me for me. I stopped trying and experience the bond it brings. Our sisterhood has made a positive and lasting impact in many to make them into what I wanted them to be and women’s lives who have seen the grace that can cherished what was unique about them. exist between sisters. Thank you for the showers I am so grateful to have endured the heartbreak you threw me, the stories you listened to, the tears that the loss of many dear friends caused so that you wiped away. I am honored to play with you as I would be able to recognize the true meaning of often as we get to. I love you and look forward to sisterhood. Here are just a few love letters to my the many experiences that have yet to shape us. soul sisters from the tribe of amazing women in my life who encouraged me to love myself until I finally Your big sister, Monika believed it… 14
Dear Alex,
Dear Melia,
From the moment that we met, I knew it was not the first time we have been important in each other’s lives. It has felt like we have known each other for many lifetimes. All the times I have needed to talk to someone late at night or in the wee hours of the morning, you have been there for me. You are my champion, you cheer for me, you listen to me, you have let me vent and get angry and let all my feelings out. You have known how to celebrate me on my birthday when I felt forgotten. You have known how to love me when I felt invisible to the world. What I would do without you I do not know. I cherish you for all the things you know you are and for the infinite amount of things you don’t even know you are for me and for others!! As you know, I have had a pretty strong fortress around my heart as it has had its fair share of breaks and bruises, and you have held it tenderly. Thank you for loving me so much that I have had the courage to let your love and generosity in. I appreciate all that you have “worked through” in your life, so you were ready to love me the way you do. When I have felt alone, sad, misunderstood, and inadequate you have cried with me, laughed with me, and made me laugh until my heart was filled with clarity, ease and new perspectives. You are a soul sister to me and I recognize that we will have many more lives together! I love you.
Thank you for choosing me to be your mommy. You are a fierce warrior princess, who like a superhero, wears your cape with pride as you fight for justice and awareness for all mankind. My consultant, my guide, my angel, my friend, my joy, my laughter, my sparkle sister, my inspiration, my no matter what. You are one of the most incredible sisters I have ever witnessed. Your passion for living life to its fullest, for laughing, for fun, for tickle time, for time with me is unwavering. You are fiery and relentless about everything you believe in. You are a diamond and you teach others to step fully into what they believe and stand for it. Thank you for exhibiting sisterhood in all the areas of life in which you play with me. In your eight years of life, you have already impacted more people than most do in a lifetime. I am forever humbled for having been given the gift to be your mommy. I honor you, I see you and I got you girl!!! NO MATTER WHAT. MY DIAMOND and my LIGHT, I LOVE YOU. Your Mommy
Audio by Monika Zands
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I have had the immense pleasure of being in powerful circles of women who believe in each other, cheer for each other, love and appreciate each other and who have created sacred bonds that are unbreakable. I invite you to find your sisterhood. Grow, cultivate your friendships, and love yourself. Write letters to the women who have impacted you the most for they can never hear your gratitude too much. Surround yourself with the people you most admire. Open your heart, your sisters are awaiting your arrival!!
The Many Faces of Sisterhood by Elise Cohen Ho many sisters. This simple fact, this fact I have that means more to me than probably any of my sisters know, has made me think about what the actual definition of “sister” is.
The word “sister” has many different definitions dependent on what your search parameters are. Two females may be sisters because they share the same parents. Two people may be sisters because they share a common goal or perhaps they are sisters because they have an allegiance to one another. Perhaps a marriage made two people sisters. I have a sister, or two or ten, in each of these categories. Marriage and blood lines gave me five sisters, choice gave me some more and still others came via life circumstances. I have some that fall into more than one category. Some of these sisters I would, in fact, be friends with regardless of how they became my sister, and some I would not. That is life and fine to admit. These sisters, the ones that are there because you have ties that bind, are sometimes a bit more difficult and often not in line with your ideology, but they are still wonderful and amazing creatures to learn from. In these sisters I look for their goodness, their graciousness or their generosity of spirit. I believe in all of my being, and even to the depths of my toes, that all people have a lesson to teach us if we just keep our minds and spirits open to the lesson. 16
I am incredibly honored to have such a great abundance of sisterly love. I am also given sisterly advice that sometimes I want and sometimes I am not in the slightest bit interested in. To this, I cannot help but think of the advice on how to get pregnant, the advice that I was given after “trying” for a whole entire week. At this time I was already pregnant but neither she nor I knew that. The need to give someone advice on how to get pregnant just seven days after they’ve decided to get pregnant is, of course, ridiculous. Just because you are curious, I will tell you that the advice was about putting my butt on a pillow and raising my feet to the air to allow for a speedy journey for the little baby making critters. Just because I want to, I will tell you that the real advice on how to get pregnant is “have sex.” But I digress. Instead of getting mad at this advice giving sister I simply said, “thank you.” Yes, I thought that the idea of giving baby making advice to someone who had only just started “trying” was absurd, but I did not mock her. Instead, I thought about the fact that she was excited and that the advice came from a place of love. A focus on this love and genuine place that these irritating behaviors come from allow us to see that advice, solicited or unsolicited, comes from a good and loving place.
Sisterly fights are an interesting breed. They are very different than any fight you could ever have with someone. These fights can cut you to the quick. This is because your sisters, whether in blood or other, know your spirit. In this knowing is the possibility of causing pain but we must recognize that those sisters that cause us pain are not the sisters that are meant to be in our lives. On the practical side of the spectrum, if these sisters are your blood or marriage sisters then you can not exactly excise them from your life. For these sisters I encourage you to find that good place in them, even if you have to search far and wide, and concentrate on that. If that sister you have chosen is the sister that hurts you time and time again then it is time to reevaluate the purpose and future of that relationship.
The definition of Sister as per http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sister
Choose sisters who support you, who nourish you, and who love your sprit like no other. Choose sisters who will protect your spirit, love you unconditionally, lift you up from life’s difficult lessons and rejoice in your glorious accomplishments.
5.a thing regarded as feminine and associated as if by kinship with something else: The ships are sisters.
Threaded yourself together in the amazing bond that is SISTERHOOD!
sister [sis-ter]
noun 1. a female offspring having both parents in common with another offspring 2. half sister. a female offspring having only one parent in common with another offspring. 3. stepsister. 4. a female friend or protector regarded as a sister.
Audio by Elise Cohen Ho
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Elise Cohen Ho 17
Audio by Janet Thomas
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Your Rival, Your Sister by Janet Thomas
“A sister is both your mirror - and your opposite.” Elizabeth Fishel
had the biggest rivalry beginning in the sixth Ieverything. grade. My nemesis, a girl we’ll call Claire, had She was smart, cute and very popular.
The years passed and sometimes I would think about Claire. As I continued to heal, the jealousy I used to feel for her transformed into appreciation. In my mind we were no longer rivals; we morphed She played the flute really well, was student body into being equals. I grew to appreciate her vivapresident and was always the center of attention. cious nature. I no longer felt that I was on the I myself was chubby and, well, kind of a nerd. I outside looking in because I was now taking care longed to be in with the cool girls, but I wasn’t part of myself. As long as I embraced myself and gave of that group. myself what I needed, I could celebrate and appreciate all of the Claire’s of the world without feelIn junior high school, Claire’s popularity grew. I ing like I was lacking in some way. I realized that was jealous of her cute figure, her clothes and her friends. All the boys wanted her for their girlfriend. before healing myself, it was I, not Claire, who had Once again, I tried to be her friend, and once again, been my true rival. it didn’t happen. I was on the outside looking in. I Today I have many sisters. We have different abilicouldn’t shake it. ties and talents, yet mirror the same determination and focus. We whole-heartedly cheer for each In high school I got a reprieve because we didn’t attend the same school. However, on the first day other’s successes. We realize that we are lucky because our strength is magnified through our of my college’s program for incoming freshmen, regard for and kindness towards each other. We who did I see walking up to me? Yep, a smiling are lucky because we realize that when one of us Claire. I felt like Humphrey Bogart. Of all the colshines, we all do. leges in the United States, she ended up at mine. And the jealousy I had previously felt was as fresh True sisterhood begins with you. Be willing to raise as ever -- it was as if no time had passed.Once again, we didn’t become friends, and I haven’t seen the white flag by surrendering to yourself -- your resilience, your talents and your attributes. In your her since. imagination, give yourself all that you have ever wanted – it will transform your old hurts into new After college I was really lost. My lifelong peoplepleasing habits stripped me of the ability to truly get strength. From there, you will give yourself the ability to soar. to know myself. I felt pulled in several directions and had no direction or preferences of my own. I Celebrate that you are wonderful and amazing, and was confused and acting out, thus sabotaging myself, yet I pretended that everything was fine. In have everything you need to live the life of your dreams. Know that if you have a rival, it means time, living became too unbearable and I almost that an aspect of yourself seeks your love and attook my own life. When I decided to stay on the planet, I decided that I would live a life worth living. tention. When your rival becomes your peer, you allow yourself to flourish through appreciating her, I chose to heal for real. No more pretending to be and you enrich your life in okay. My very life depended on it. I rolled up my unimaginable ways. sleeves, shut out the world, and got to work. I allowed myself to safely grieve the heartbreaking experiences in my life. I honored what I did to survive them. I came to appreciate my strength, and began to treat myself kindly. I talked to myself in a supportive way.I reached out to my younger self and gave her all that she wanted. In my loving imagination I surrounded her with laughter, lots of friends and a ton of cute clothes. As a result of my focus, determination and commitment, I became my own best friend and supportive sister.
Sisterhood is alive and well, here and now. With it, we are changing the world in profound ways. As healing multiplies, one person at a time, we give ourselves the opportunity to deepen in our understanding of sisterhood and live within the sass and spark of it that only we know. Join us!
Janet Thomas 19
It Takes a Village by Nancy Mueller
A s a wise woman once said, “It Takes a Village.” Every woman has hopes and dreams; but sometimes, despite our best intentions, no matter how many classes we take, books we read, intentions we set, or even our firm belief in our “self” we struggle to manifest our greatest desire. What happens when life gets in the way; illness, death, divorce, depression, or simply an overwhelming “to do” list that can stop us in our tracks? When life gets in the way, who do you turn to for confirmation that you are being heard, that you are loved, that your passions matter or that YOU matter? This is when your “village” can help. Your village can be as simple as a girlfriend who is always available to speak, to a group of women who stand behind you, encouraging you, promoting you, partnering with you and encouraging you. There is a sisterhood among women that is as powerful as nature itself. Let’s face it, when women want to get something done or learn something new, often it is another woman she will turn to for advice or encouragement. Meet-Up is full of women’s groups who offer everything from hiking to building your business. Google “sisterhood” and you will find over 3,120,000 results; that sends a powerful message that women everywhere understand the value of being part of a village. The most important thing to remember is that you do not have to face your challenges alone.
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It all starts with “YOU” – you must be willing to take the first steps towards finding the village filled with like-minded women who have the potential to hold a bigger vision for you. The women that hold a higher vision for you than you do, especially when life is pressing you down.
As you are taking those steps, remember to: • Smile • Be Grateful • Give Hugs • Give Love • List your Successes • Appreciate the small things in life • Improve your Health • Face your FEARS • Get out of the House • Know your “SELF” Smiles are contagious. When you smile, others will smile with you. When you teach yourself the habit of smiling, it will change your entire focus. If you tend to feel depression, simply practice your smile! What are you grateful for? Too often we tend to concentrate on what we “don’t” have rather than what we do have. It goes without saying that any time we feel lack in our life, there is always someone who is worse off. Knowing this, how can you start to look at the little things in your life and feel gratitude? Life is all about choices; we can choose to be ungrateful or we can choose to look around us and be grateful for what we have. Human beings thrive on the power of touch. Much like a baby who cries to be comforted, as adults we often overlook the importance of touch. A hug, a massage, or even a shoulder to cry on (literally) can lead to feelings of appreciation. Often times when we think of “love” we think of the love we give to others but forget the importance of self-love. How do you show love to yourself? In our often hectic life we are always doing for others, giving to others, keeping commitments we made to others. Putting your “self” first is self-preserving. If you are worn out, stressed, fatigued or overwhelmed with the amount of energy you spend giving to others, how can you make the love you give to others secondhand? By learning to experience “your love” first. Everyone has successes in his or her life and too often we are so busy running after the thing that we feel we “need” to do that we forget to give ourselves credit for the things we have already
done. Think back to the goals you set for yourself and remember how you reached them. Once reached, what did you do to celebrate these milestones? Once you celebrate the milestones, what do you do to remember these milestones?
ness that keeps you confined), how can you leave that environment and surround yourself with positive, motivated, uplifting thinking people? No one woman arrives at success alone; there is always someone there, a friend, a coworker, a mentor, a coach, cheering her on to success. Find a way In our very hectic world, we often forget to stop and to step outside of your everyday environment and watch a sunset, marvel at a child’s face during play, seek this energy opportunity. appreciate the smile of your loved one, give thanks for our health, feel the sun on our face, meditate, give thanks for the air we breathe, the water we drink and the food on our plates. There are so many things we can give thanks for in any given moment. On a scale of 1 to 10, what is the level of your health? If it is less than a 10, what can you do to make it a 10? What should you be doing “less” of, and what should you be doing “more” of to reach your health goals?
F.E.A.R = False Evidence Appearing Real
- what are you afraid of, how is it holding you back and how is the fear and being held back from your true potential serving your highest good? Most fears are built from limiting beliefs and old habits. How can you change these beliefs and create new habits to rid yourself of the fears that are holding you back? You have the power to choose to move from pain, paralysis, and even depression to power, energy and happiness in your life. Change your environment; if you always eat in the cafeteria at work, consider eating outside. If you work from home, give yourself permission to go outside for a walk midway through your day. If you work from home (or have a brick and mortar busi-
To know others is wisdom, to know oneself is enlightenment. - Lao Tzu
Too many people fear looking within to create more success in their life because they fear what they may find. Knowing oneself, loving oneself, understanding oneself is the key to unlocking the answers to what you seek. What are your daily habits to know yourself better? If you have difficulties with this step, ask others for help. Feedback can be negative or positive and we learn from both. Keep in mind, feedback is another person’s perception of who you are. If you want others to see you in a different light, here is your chance to choose change, thus bringing the happiness you seek. I believe that every woman who reads this message will take away something unique to her way of thinking. If something in this blog gave you pause for thought, please feel free to share it with a woman in your village. Whatever you learned, you have the opportunity to pay it forward and cause a ripple of happiness in the life or lives of others. Audio by Nancy Mueller
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Nancy Mueller 21
Time To Take Your Stand by Amy Cheryl comes to mind when you think Sisterhood…what of this word?
In that moment, I deepened into such a place of compassion and really got that until we as women do the deep inner work to heal the inner critic in As I was researching definitions of this word, I felt a us, the “I am not good enough” story, the “ I am too warmth in my heart and a verbal sigh was exhaled much” syndrome and comparing ourselves to each as I read this one… other, that represses us, true sisterhood will never have solid ground to thrive. A definition of Sisterhood: When we heal this, we can then truly move into A bond between two or more girls, not always being each other’s cheerleaders, yet we cannot be related by blood. They always tell the truth, honor something for someone else until we are that for each other, and love each other like sisters. ourselves. Yet, how many of us fully experienced that growing up or saw this was how it was depicted in the movies? Women have been portrayed at catty, pulling each other’s hair out, talking behind each others’ back and “stealing” each others’ boyfriends. I remember growing up having experiences of two of my best friends that I introduced to each other in high school deciding one day to not speak with me for 3 months all because I made additional friends and wasn’t spending “all” of my time with them. It was devastating, hurtful and mean. ~Or the time when the girl in the gym was so friendly to my face in my twenties and then talked s*** about me behind my back and attempted to seduce my boyfriend of the time. I think the most shocking one was just a year and a half ago when a fellow speaker who was in at least her 40’s or 50’s said the most terrible things about me to someone we mutually knew. Of course this got back to me and in that moment, I realized on a deeper level… When we as women do not love ourselves, the possibility of true sisterhood is not possible as how can we honor another and tell them the truth when we are not being or doing that with ourselves? 22
When we can see our sisters as inspirations when they “have” or “achieve” something that we desire vs. being jealous of them, we can move into true sisterhood. When we can come together and stand for a cause that brings us together, it is from this place that we can advance into being the true powerhouses that each and every one of us are as women. We possess so much richness inside of us, as women, and we have not been taught to value it. The evolution and next step in consciousness is to heal the feminine.
It is our responsibility as women to begin with ourselves, to be on our own side and to reconnect to the truth that we as women are stronger together, then apart. Here are some tips that can support this mission reuniting and healing all that has stripped us from our truth and unbreakable and collaborative sisterhood bond: • When we notice jealously coming up within yourself towards a fellow sister, ask yourself, “What does this women possess that I am repressing within myself?” When we can get really honest with ourselves and not judge our process of healing as it is the only way to evolve, we can rise up out of what has been holding us back from our full potential and appreciate the women in front of us representing that which we desire to embrace within ourselves. • When a sister begins to engage in “gossip” or a group of “sisters” are bonding in this manner, speak up and have your voice. Stand up for your fellow sister and invite the others to refrain from this type of conversation. It is mean and serves no positive purpose. If there is no audience to engage in the conversation, it will naturally dissolve away. • Get educated in the ancient teachings of the feminine. When we understand ourselves and our power as women, collaboration organically happens because we see the beauty in ourselves and each and every women and can appreciate the unique gifts she brings to this planet. We are living in the most fascinating times and if we are on this planet at this time, it is for a reason and a purpose. The “masculine paradigm” of competition and achievement is crumbling before our eyes.
The “way of the heart…of the feminine” is what will heal our planet. It starts with us as we are a microcosm of this big universe. Let’s utilize our greatness for good and let go of what has been repressing us.
It is time for us as women to lead by example. What sweet freedom it is!
Amy Cheryl 23
Courage Takes LOVE and a Sisterhood! by Kim Boudreau Smith ebruary was the month for Love, Valentine’s F Day, Cupid and so much more! But how do we carry over that feeling throughout the year and instill love into our lives every day?
Well I would like to begin with the definition of Sisterhood: • The relationship between sisters. • An association, society, or community of women linked by a common interest, religion, or trade. The sisterhood that I speak about is in number two; an association, a group, village or community of women coming together linked by a common interest or even a common vision/mission. I participate in collaborations with women consistently in books and my radio station which is an amazing journey and connection. These build lifelong relationships a bond of sisterhood that is there for a lifetime. However, I am often asked how do I get involved, what do I need to do or where do I go to find something like this? Well let’s begin with some of the answers to the above questions: Love, yes Love! First and foremost is loving yourself every day! When we love ourselves through mistakes, achievements, obstacles and opportunities we attract like-minded individuals. Coupling this self-love with others who do the same becomes so much stronger and intentional! The putting down is eliminated and the
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uplifting begins within ourselves and with others. I love supporting women to step into their dreams through their voice. I also support women in writing as well, and in this are the two platforms where I bring together groups of women-sisterhood. The women in these groups are bonded; they are there for one another through thick and thin, as the expression goes. There is laughter, openness, tears, fears and so much uplifting. However, there is another ingredient needed to arrive to all of this and that is COURAGE! Yes courage, not working through the fears, I mean good old fashion courage to step out there and ask for what you want and need. Be ready to receive because it is what the universe provides, all that we ask for. Courage and being bold, in my opinion, goes hand in hand. However we also need that village to be there for us, this is why a sisterhood is so important in a women’s life. This is the village where we find support for both our obstacles and our opportunities. We shed the feelings of being alone, and the loss of hope. I personally have grown within myself, and my business, with the support of my village-sisterhood. I often say, more
hands, heads and hearts are better than just one. But we must be willing to be courageous, to keep going to move through the tough times. So many quit when the going gets tough! But when we have a huge sisterhood of support, the desire to quit goes away, we take on the attitude of I can do anything because anything is possible! Diminish the self-doubt; bring out that power-filled super women that we are and that the world is waiting for. My favorite movie is the first Sex in the City, if you have seen this, Mr. Big freaks out over the idea of marrying Carrie and leaves her at the altar, devastated. Well there is a scene shortly after that where the other three friends, very, very tight and best of friends, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha discovered Carrie’s honeymoon was paid for, so Samantha suggests they all go, and Miranda begins with I have a job, a family and such, then Samantha has Miranda and Charlotte turn and look at Carrie sitting on the couch so distraught and off to Mexico the four of them go. THIS IS SISTERHOOD! No questions asked, there to support one of their sisters going through life devastation. No judgments, just good old fashioned love, support and yes, courage on everyone’s behalf!
So in my book, Bold is Beautiful we have a private Facebook group and one of the co-authors was dealing with a family health issue, well she posted on our private wall, and within 30 minutes she had supportive calls, dinner being sent to her later that day, heartfelt words, prayers and so much more! This is a sisterhood! There is nothing like being able to turn to your village, your sisterhood in time of need or support for achievements, encouragement, uplifting when things are off and you need a good cry or even a laugh. This is lifting up another woman, not tearing down to get ahead. When women come together, watch out because the difference that is made will be felt throughout the world.
Kim Boudreau Smith
Sisterhood in Good Health by Sharon Otness my daughter was just approaching her W hen teens she read the book that was all the rage at the time, “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.”
“Some friends just fit together. Pants = love. Love your pals. Love yourself.”
I still had my close friends that I remember with fondness. During the college years there were new friends, a first apartment and a still very dear friend. Entering the work years brought many new acquaintances.
The big transition of moving to San Francisco, and The books were a beautiful saga of four girls comonly knowing one person there (another member of ing of age and maintaining a strong friendship thru my sisterhood), brought new challenges. This was it all. A pair of pants was a clever thread that played the first real time I had to truly start fresh, away thru the series. from my comfortable surroundings and begin to cultivate new friends. These were people that reI had never thought so much about sisterhood. ally fit into the fashion world that, at the time, I was cultivating. New roommates became friends. In Oh, sure I had friends and many acquaintances, fact, one roommate was somewhat responsible for but that was fine...wasn’t it? introducing me to the man that eventually became my husband. If you are like me, you have probably gone thru the many transitions of life. There are your original Then it was the next big transition... marriage. I friendships... I still remember my childhood friend married a true extrovert. His lifelong friends soon I met at the age of three. We were definitely “besbecame mine. Other friends were made thru our ties” for years until geographical distance and finally daughter’s school. These were fun, life of the life changes separated us. Then, of course, there party and very social friends. It was lots of laughs are the neighborhood boys and girls and school and wonderful times. Until it wasn’t. friends all thru-out. Even though I was more of an introvert and often felt on the outside looking in, 26
Until I discovered that you are only as healthy as the friends you surround yourself What happens when it is necessary to change your life completely and you know that most of your friends can’t (or won’t) join you on your new journey? What happens when your new journey is one of sobriety, divorce and re-discovery? My life, out of necessity, became one of finding myself. Thru that journey I discovered my health and my love of sharing with others. I love to share about food, but health and wellness is so much more than that. Health and Wellness is about friends, memories and your life goals. I started building new relationships, mostly around business. Along the way I started gathering and nurturing new friends that were more like me. Friends that I could speak my truth with, that held me up to a higher level and believed in me along the way. When I moved to Los Angeles, I did so again not knowing anyone. This time I purposely set out to find my “tribe”. I started to truly understand the real meaning of Sisterhood.
“Find someone who is going to hold you accountable and creates a safe space for you to thrive.” - Kelly Lynn Adams My sisterhood is a beautiful combination of childhood friends, and those I have gathered to be with me along the way from Seattle, San Francisco and Los Angeles. It doesn’t matter where we live or how often we see each other. These women, some of whom have come from delightful and surprising circumstances, always have my back and the best uplifting attitude toward life. I love each and every one of them and it is these relationships that truly make me my healthiest self in body, mind and spirit. They help me to thrive. Goddess. Diva. Sisterhood.
Audio by Sharon Otness
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Sharon Otness 27
Secret Science of Wealth – Magic of Your Mind by Debbie Dobbins
seven decades ago Napoleon Hill wrote O ver Think and Grow Rich. He put forth the idea
poorer”, or do you believe something outside of you is causing your circumstances? If your thought was anything that blames another, complains about that you can think yourself to becoming rich. Milcircumstances or justifies your circumstances you lions have read his book and become wealthy and abundant. Billions more have read it, done nothing will fall victim to this statistic. Anything other than taking full responsibility for your own creation in life to change their thinking and find themselves living in mediocrity. So CAN you think yourself to Wealth? is mediocrity. Science says yes! Years after Think and Grow Rich was written, neuroscience research has proven our mind creates our reality. Perfect example Kelly McGonigal’s book The Neuroscience of Change. Her research clearly concludes –your mind is your greatest asset AND your “key” to success, wealth, abundance, happiness and health. In short, what you think and believe, you create, not the other way around. Here’s a very simple example. Imagine a fruit tree with beautiful luscious abundant fruit. This is its nature. Now imagine another fruit tree with a root system which is contaminated, rotting, infested. What kind of fruit would you expect to see? No fruit, too little fruit or ugly fruit? Is the majority of your day spent on looking at your fruit which are the results OR in creating the fruit? Your thoughts are the root of your life’s results. The fruit of your life, your results include health, wealth and happiness or a lack thereof.
If you want to create real wealth it is imperative that you are at the steering wheel of your life. You have to believe you are the one who creates your success, you are the one creating your mediocrity and you are the one creating any financial struggle, consciously or unconsciously it’s still you. I am often asked how do you create a mindset of wealth. Simple really. Spend 51% or more time focusing on what you want rather than what you don’t want or don’t have and shazam! It appears like magic. Sounds simple right? For years, I thought I “understood” this simple concept, only to experience reruns of the same lackluster life over and over. Each day I simply inserted a new cast of characters.
To truly ignite the “Magic of your Mind”, thinking and intention are only one aspect of the manifestation process. In Think and Grow Rich“ Hill says, “Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it.” Showing or “Acting as if” ignites the quantum Simply put, instead of looking at the results, you must first look at the root of your results, your think- field of possibility. ing. Sooooo, if you want to become a manifesting It only takes an instant to recognize this simple sci- machine, I invite you to try this simple technique for the next week. I promise you, shift will begin to ence, but why isn’t everyone utilizing this powerful asset we were born with? Could it be this course is happen and you can stop re-running your usual script. not taught in school? First, let’s look at the results most people have in creating wealth. One out of 100 people aged 65 will have adequate wealth for retirement. As you read this statistic, what is your first thought? Is it “it’s the economy’s fault”, perhaps “the cost of living is too high”, “the rich get richer and the poor get 28
For the next week: Choose one specific manifestation you would like to see in your life. Perhaps a job promotion, more clients, a trip to another country, new patio furniture, a new home, a relationship. . . .
For the next week, at least 51% of the time, “act as if” you are already experiencing this manifestation.
Here is the secret sauce: Experience the emotions of this situation being manifested. Enjoy every moment of it; give it lots of positive energy at least 51% of the day. Notice I said energy! Forget about positive thinking, it’s time for positive action. Actions are feelings, emotions, behaviors, reactions, conversations, the way you move, speak and connect.
Begin to notice how many hours of the day you are “acting as if” and how many you are “acting as if you don’t have”. Once you reach 51% of acting as if, shazam, SHIFT HAPPENS! Let me know about your manifestations!
For example, if you were to desire a beautiful new home, imagine yourself swimming in the pool behind your home, entertaining on the spacious patio, friends sharing your company. Imagine what music is playing, who do you connect with, what your conversations during the day sound like, what type of food you are buying, how do you feel when you wake in the morning. Begin to notice every detail of your life and how it aligns with this manifestation. Throughout your daily activities, pay attention to every decision you make, every thought you think and most importantly, does your behavior comport with your desire. Would a person who already had the experience you desire, speak, act and feel this way? Even the conscious act of asking yourself these questions, creates more of what you want. Speak and act and feel as if you already have the experience in your life. Surround yourself with those you would if the experience was happening right now.
Debbie Dobbins 29
Elise Cohen Ho, Naturally Yours elise@elisecohenho.com
Tea with Your Sisterhood
In the spirit of sisterhood perhaps you might like to take some time to enjoy an afternoon tea with your girlfriends. In this recipe, I have chosen a few herbs for their relaxing and uplifting benefits, two things that we often get from our girlfriends. Feel free to experiment with other herbs of interest until you find the potion that is just right for you. Keep in mind any possible drug interactions.
1. Gather your herbs based on 1 teaspoon of dried herb per cup of boiling water. • For this tea with friends I recomend 1 teaspoon each lemongrass, chamomile and lavender. Lemongrass offers can offer you a bit of pep in your step whereas chamomile and lavender help with headaches and nervousness. • Be certain that your herbs are from a reputable source, and preferably organic. Ideally these herbs will be spray free and smell as if you just picked it yourself. The freshness of the herbs will have a substantial affect on the quality of your brew. 2. Place your herbs in chlorine free filter bags or a filter basket made specifically for your tea pot. 3. Boil fluoride and chlorine free water. • Do not boil your water in aluminum as it can react with the herb and produce a metallic taste as well as, potentially, affecting the quality of the herb. • Choose a teapot made of ceramic, porcelain, china, glass, enamel or pottery. 4. Steep your tea for no longer than 10 minutes. • 10 minutes is generally considered the ideal time so as to extract the action of the herb while avoiding bitter tastes and a possible adverse effect on the beneficial properties of the chosen herb. 5. Serve the tea with local raw honey and lemon slices.
*Cleaning products should be the most natural as possible. You should not get into a bath that is still wet with cleaning product. For tips on cleaning naturally please visit me at http://www.elisecohenho.com/ 30
pearls of...
Wisdom
Our sisterhood nurtures and inspires, our sisterhood plans and conspires… to make life better, to empower, to strengthen, to nourish and to make every woman feel, beyond any doubt that she is part of the family. Ivana Siska When we have a huge sisterhood of support, the desire to quit goes away, we take on the attitude of I can do anything because anything is possible! Kim Boudreau-Smith Choose sisters who support you, who nourish you, and who love your sprit like no other. Choose sisters who will protect your spirit, love you unconditionally, lift you up from life’s difficult lessons and rejoice in your glorious accomplishments. Threaded yourself together in the amazing bond that is SISTERHOOD! Elise Cohen Ho When we as women do not love ourselves, the possibility of true sisterhood is not possible as how can we honor another and tell them the truth when we are not being or doing that with ourselves? Amy Cheryl You call them imperfections, however, I adore your scars; I see the perfection of you, the one who endured much, and healed the unimaginable wounds that lay like lion’s claw marks across your heart. Andrea Dykstra “You are only as healthy as the friends you surround yourself with.” Sharon Otness Your thoughts are the root of your life’s results. Debbie Dobbins Enjoy being woman. Enjoy connecting to other women. Enjoy the power of Sisterhood ~ Your Key to Outrageous Success. Dr. Anita M. Jackson To know others is wisdom, to know oneself is enlightenment. Lao Tzu Knowing oneself, loving oneself, understanding oneself is the key to unlocking the answers to what you seek. Nancy Mueller When we as women do not love ourselves, the possibility of true sisterhood is not possible. Amy Cheryl I am so grateful to have endured the heartbreak that the loss of many dear friends caused so that I would be able to recognize the true meaning of sisterhood. Monika Zands If you want to create real wealth it is imperative that you are at the steering wheel of your life. Debbie Dobbins When we can see our sisters as inspirations when they “have” or “achieve” something that we desire vs. being jealous of them, we can move into true sisterhood. Amy Cheryl
Featured & Guest Writers Elise Cohen Ho, Ph.Dc., Editor-in-Chief, I Am Enough Magazine Author with expertise in holistic health (mental, physical and emotional) and support of the family unit, as well as support of the individual. Her goal is to offer a no judgment zone, full of inspiration, while providing encouragement and healthy living, information on topics such as personal, family and business priorities, nutrition, and living the life that truly resonates with you. Website: www.elisecohenho.com
Amy Cheryl Amy Cheryl is the founder of “Mesmerize Your Audience…Be The Women Who Lights Up The Room (Without Saying A Word) To Rock It And Profit in Biz and Beyond! She has been published in several national magazines including SHAPE and SELF, invited to speaking engagements in Dubai and all over the U.S., and interviewed on several radio shows. Originally from New York, Amy currently resides in sunny Los Angeles. To book Amy for speaking engagements or coaching, contact her at amy@amycheryl.com or # 424-279-3253. Remember to get your FREE gift at www.amycheryl.com/freegift
Debbie Dobbins As an international speaker/trainer, Debbie works with women entrepreneurs to dissolve their money roadblocks and instill confidence in their money magnetism. Through her fierce honesty and high-energy presentations, she challenges audiences and her clients to achieve their dreams, create success and overcome excuses. Debbie colors outside the lines of conventional wisdom while motivating, inspiring and encouraging transformation.
Debbie Dobbins Money Mastery 626-434-5421 www.debbiedobbinsinternational.com www.myplayadreams.com
Andréa Dykstra Andréa Dykstra refers to herself as a Storyteller rather than an Author/Speaker, and she shares her stories to initiate healing transformation within others. As an intuitive and Master Life Coach (AUNLP) and a #1 International Bestselling Author, Andréa uses her experiences to guide trauma survivors, and women and men facing challenges on their life’s journey, to a place of forgiveness, trust, gratitude, joy, and love. Websites: andreadykstra.com and http://andreadykstra.wix.com/andreadykstra
Nancy Mueller As a speaker, media host, woman’s life coach, and published author of “Chocolate or Vanilla, Life Is All About Choices,” Nancy’s mission is to encourage women to improve their health, value their “self” and increase their wealth. As a media host and leader of the business networking group, New Beginnings Global, Nancy excels at connecting like-minded women with each other. Many successes have stemmed from the referrals women create when working within her group(s). www.lifeisallaboutchoices.com 32
Sharon Otness Sharon Otness is a certified holistic health counselor and interior designer living in Santa Monica, Ca. Her holistic approach to emotional health and wellness allows her to help women of all ages meet the challenges of food, ultimate vitality, and creating santuary in a fast-paced world. Sharon is passionate about supporting clients through depression, anxiety and life transitions so they can discover the balanced and amazng life they were meant to live, full of meaning, love and without self-deprivation or guilt.
Her mission is to help people “Live Life on a Natural High.”— Website: www.sharonotnessfoot.com
Ivana Siska On the surface, Ivana Siska is a happy and engaging, Beverly Hills based love, life and relationship expert, speaker and author who wisely advises a diverse range of clients from students to stay-at-home moms, executives, and celebrities on their most intimate and personal issues. She actively speaks on topics such as how sensuality and sexuality are powerful forces of good and not evil, and even provides creative business consulting for some of the more “open & inspired” companies. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg of what Ivana brings.
Website: www.thelovinglifecoach.com
Kim Boudreau Smith Kim is an International Business Consultant, Strategist & Coach, Speaker and International Best-Selling Author. Kim’s company, Kim Boudreau Smith, Inc., Power UP inside/Out is dedicated to support women entrepreneurs to step into living their dream life! Through “Power UP Inside Out” she provides the resources for women to become Top Producers in their life and achieve the wanted results-Success! Kim teaches women how to sell like a woman, with love and integrity!
Website: www.kimbsmith.com
Janet D. Thomas Janet is the author of Lemons, Lemonade & Life – Practical Steps for Getting the Sweetness Back When Life Goes Sour. She is a captivating speaker, engaging writer and dynamic workshop leader whose words inspire and motivate, energizing transformation in those who experience her. A lifelong metaphysician, Janet is a highly effective spiritual coach and a healer solider. She lives, writes and maintains her coaching practice in North Hollywood, California. Website: www.janetdthomas.com
Monika Zands Monika Zands is an executive business consultant, communications specialist and skilled negotiator serving small businesses, corporate executives, college grads, mompreneurs, and entrepreneurs who are looking for new directions in their career or in their life. Monika uses an array of practical and experiential processes to support her clients in finding focus, balance, and a zest for their life and clarity in the choices they make. She engages her clients in thought-provoking inquiries, inspiring them to look at things in ways they never have before.
Website: www.MonikaZands.com
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