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Judaism
ASK THE RABBI
Looking for answers? Send your question to Rabbi@RabbiSchochet.com
IS IT G-D’S FAULT OR MINE?
Dear Rabbi
I have been married for twenty-five years. I would say that most of the early years were happy but the past five years have become increasingly more difficult. Is this a nisoyon from Above to test my resilience? Does G-d make marriages difficult to test human resolve? I like to think I am a good husband but my wife complains that I am not the same anymore.
Michael
Dear Michael
I think it has a lot less to do with G-d and a lot more to do with you – or both of you. I’m reminded of what my grandfather used to say: “Before marriage he’ll walk to the other end of the world for you. After marriage he won’t even walk to the local grocery store.”
Inasmuch as every marriage takes two to tango, you need to focus on your own behaviour and ask yourself whether something about you has changed. Are you paying the same attention to detail? And if this has been going on for five years, why did you wait till now to address it? Did you think it was all just going to correct itself? Five years is a long time to be living in a state of unhappiness. You need to address the issues now, rather than assuming this is just your Divine calling, or something absurd like that. G-d intended for man and woman to work together in harmony. Don’t go blaming Him. That in itself smacks of shirking responsibility and that could be the starting point of your problems.
FIGHTING FOR THE FUTURE
Dear Rabbi
I am a mother of three children and two grandchildren. My son-in-law never had a Jewish education and wants to send his kids to a non-Jewish school. I told him doing so could mean the end of the Jewish line for those kids and that he has to have faith in and look to protect their Jewish future. He replied that it is hogwash and that at the current rate of intermarriage and assimilation, there isn’t much of a Jewish future to look forward to. What do I say to that?
Hadasah
Dear Hadasah
Share with him the following: What the Bluzhever Rebbe, Reb Yisroel Spira, went through during the Holocaust was mindboggling. The Nazis murdered his wife, his only daughter, his entire family, almost all of his hundreds of Chassidim. After the War, it took a lot of courage for survivors to remarry. But after his liberation from Bergen Belsen, somebody suggested a match to the Bluzhever Rebbe, a widow who had survived, amazingly enough, with her 4 children. And that woman, named Bronya, became the Bluzhever Rebbetzin.
Years later, somebody asked the Rebbe how he knew, despite everything he had gone through, that he wanted to marry his Rebbetzin Bronya. And the Bluzhever Rebbe shared the following extraordinary story. At one point, when the Rebbe was in Bergen Belsen, he went to the camp officials to request permission to bake matzos. And, unexpectedly, they responded, “OK...but whoever wants to make the matzos with you has to write down their name, and we’ll submit the request to Berlin.”
Most of the Jews, of course, didn’t put their names down on the request, because they figured writing their names was as good as writing their own obituaries. But the Rebbe said, “Look, we don’t have anything to lose. We’re going to die anyway...” So the Rebbe and 4 other men wrote their names down on the request to make matzos. And they submitted it. But right away they regretted their decision. They feared their request was the same as calling out to the Nazis, “Hey there, please kill us!”
But a few weeks later, the camp officials returned and announced, “OK, who are the five people who said they want to make matzos? Come with us...” Those 5 men, thinking those were their last moments on earth, said goodbye to their friends. But, instead of killing them, the camp officials informed them that their request had been approved. So then the question was, who would get to eat from the matzos? There were only a few small matzos and tens of thousands of Jews in Bergen Belsen.
And then a mother of 4 children stepped forward and said, “Could you please break off small pieces of the matza for my children?” The other people there argued, “But your children are still small, they aren’t obligated yet to eat matzah.” But she answered them, “My children are the next generation. They have to know what matzah is. They are the future of the Jewish people. So the Rebbe gave them matzah.
So why did the Rebbe decide to marry that mother of 4 children after the War? The Rebbe later explained, “Nobody in Bergen Belsen thought about the next minute. You didn’t think about the next day, the next week. Survival was second to second. “And here is this woman who is thinking she’s going to survive? And that there’s going to be a next generation?
“And I knew that if this woman had that kind of courage, if she was so connected with the story of Passover that she believed we would experience our own personal Exodus from Bergen Belsen, then that was the woman I would marry.”
The Rebbe and his Rebbetzin, who lived until 99 and 94, didn’t have any more children after the war, but the Rebbe raised Rebbetzin Bronya’s 4 children as his own. And the Bluzhever Rebbes today are those children who ate matzah in Bergen Belsen, in the merit of their mother’s astonishing determination and faith. Keep fighting for their Jewish education or at least determine a compromise of sorts, but their Jewish future is not negotiable.
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Donkeygate
BY RABBI MOSHE TARAGIN
A lot was at stake. We were perched to enter the promised land, launch Jewish history, and assemble the kingdom of G-d. Only two men stood in our way: a renowned but eccentric wizard and a frightened but determined king, colluded to cancel our date with destiny. The Bilam saga is an epic tale of Jewish history, human prophecy and divine providence. Everything is at stake in this crucial and suspenseful faceoff between sorcery and faith. This is all a very serious issue.
Except, of course, for one absurdly hilarious conversation between a distinguished prophet and his chatty donkey. This slapstick exchange between man and mule certainly breaks the ice and provides some comic relief. Additionally, this dialogue between Bilam and the beast is satiric: a presumptuous prophet who “observes the future”, could not even match the sight of his own donkey. Bilam, an eloquent orator is silenced by a moral lecture from his smoothtongued donkey. All of Bilam’s preconceptions come crashing down. Humiliated, he realizes that his prophetic powers and his rhetorical skills are each divinely delivered. The great and famous Bilam will only see what Hashem allows him to, and can only speak the word of G-d.
Yet there is an additional message, beyond the obvious. The donkey episode doesn’t just mock Bilam it also instructs him. The talking donkey is a warning flare, signaling that his scheme will fail. Bilam walks away from donkey-gate with humility, but he should also have recognized his own futility in confronting the Jewish nation.

THE BILAM GAMBLE
Bilam was a wise historian who scrutinized the past and examined the future. How was he so easily duped into this folly? Hadn’t Hashem performed countless miracles for us during our departure from Egypt, and throughout our desert journey? How did Bilam believe he could defeat a people who had proven invulnerable to tyrants and immune to the harsh desert? What was he thinking?
Bilam wasn’t mad. He conceded that Hashem had selected the Jewish people and had paved a supernatural path of miracles through the desert. However, those dusty miracles occurred over thirty-eight years earlier, to a different generation and at a very different stage of history. A lot of desert sand separated those heady days of joy from the current struggles of a new generation looking for doorway to enter the land of Israel. Bilam wagered that the Jews were no longer chosen. After maddening betrayals and infuriating mutinies, Hashem had discarded us, condemning us to nomadic wandering and to silent death. Currently, the Jews were just like “any other nation, and could be defeated. Bilam was the first Christian, the first to declare Hashem’s abandonment of the Jews. Maybe, the chosen people had become un-chosen and were now susceptible to his supernatural spell.
SEARCHING FOR DIVINE DISPLEASURE
Bilam was desperate to detect even a hint of divine fury. He searched for any “daylight” between Hashem and His people, to verify his assumptions and launch his attack. Any slight decline in the love between Hashem and His people would have corroborated his audacious belief that Hashem no longer chose our nation. Despite Bilam’s best efforts, he could not detect any dissonance: “He did not discern iniquity in Ya’akov nor did He detect perversion in Yisrael”. Recognizing the eternal divine love, which was immune to human failure, Bilam capitulated: how shall I curse, whom G-d has not cursed?”. Once he realized that Hashem hadn’t abandoned His chosen people, Bilam surrenders.
LOYALTY
Had he only listened to his knowledgeable donkey, Bilam might have saved himself time and heartache. His hapless donkey was having an off day. It had wandered off course, crushed Bilam’s leg and, finally, collapsed from exhaustion. This four-legged “professor” then tutored Bilam about the trait of loyalty. After years of loyal service, a trusted donkey deserved compassion and forbearance, not rage and violence.
Loyalty bonds men to men, men to their animals, and, of course, Hashem to His chosen people. We ourselves, had a few bad “days” in the desert, but Hashem wasn’t going anywhere. We ourselves, may have wandered off our course but Hashem didn’t abandon us. We ourselves, may have occasionally collapsed into a state of panicked indifference, but Hashem remained loyal to His covenant. The bonds of loyalty welded us to Hashem, and we remained invincible. Bilam’s gamble failed.
Had Bilam only listened to his donkey and appreciated the value of loyalty, he would have suspended his plans to attack us earlier. He didn’t fully appreciate the bonds of loyalty between us and Hashem.
A CRISIS OF LOYALTY
Loyalty sits at the core of any long-term relationship. Every relationship has high points and low points, moments of harmony and moments of frustration and even betrayal. Loyalty reinforces our relationships, allowing them to outlast disappointment and frustration. Without allegiance and trust, relationships are brittle. Relationships of loyalty are always built to last.
We live in a dizzying world of rapid change and constant movement. We ricochet from “situation to situation” too quickly to establish bonds of loyalty. Students often seek my professional guidance. Recently I have declined, because any professional advice I offer is obsolete. The job market of 2022 has completely shifted from where it was twenty years ago. In the past, employment choices were major life decisions. Today the average span of employment is only four years. People hardly meet their co-workers and employers before they move on. Zoom isn’t helping matters.
The average length of a marriage is only slightly longer, lasting eight years. Friendships have shifted from personal interactions to virtual reality, making them less adhesive. It is much easier to unfriend someone on Facebook or ghost them on whatsapp, than it is to discontinue an actual friendship. Without long-term marriage, long-term employment, and actual live friendships, loyalty fades.
As actual loyalty begins to wither, modern culture offers artificial replacements. Corporations convert financial transactions into “emotional experiences” to generate customer loyalty and insure greater profit. Airlines incentivize our travel with extra perks to assure flyer’s loyalty. We invest our loyalties in sports teams, celebrities and clothing brands. All of these hollow loyalties target either objects or faceless organizations, rather than actual people. None of them teach us about real relationships or about devotion to others.
Loyalty is also the scaffolding which braces religious experience. Ideally, religious experience is driven by passion, emotion and spirituality. However, humans are unpredictable and erratic, and any religious experience based solely upon an emotional state will be very wobbly. Loyalty to Hashem stabilizes our relationship with Him, steadying our commitment to Him even when religious passions run weak. In a world of diminishing loyalty, religious commitment is also tottering.
The donkey speaks to us all. He calls us to greater loyalty.
The writer is a rabbi at Yeshivat Har Etzion/ Gush, a hesder yeshiva. He has smicha and a BA in computer science from Yeshiva University as well as a masters degree in English literature from the City University of New York.
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Saddle up!

BY RABBI JUDAH MISCHEL
The legendary Rosh Yeshiva and author, Rav Shimshon Pincus zt”l, was a talmid chacham, ba’al avodah and tzaddik, who served as Chief Rabbi in the Negev city of Ofakim with self-sacrifice and love.
A talmid of Rav Pincus suffered from an acute dental condition. Numerous infections had caused him to lose teeth and painful gum inflammation. Not wanting to trouble anyone, the young married man, an avreich in Ofakim, tried to hide his condition and downplayed the perpetual discomfort he was experiencing.
One day his wife approached Rav Pincus and shared her husband’s suffering with the rav. He was unable to chew and was in such pain that he could barely sleep. Exhausted and racked with pain, he was losing weight dangerously. Without hesitation, Rav Pincus excused himself and returned a few minutes later with several thousand shekel. He then spent some time making phone calls to various contacts to help the avreich’s wife find an oral surgeon who could help.
The Pincus family lived very modestly and the incident took place at a particularly difficult time with regard to their parnassa. A friend of the avreich who was aware of the situation asked the rav how he could give away such a large sum of money when he himself was struggling to cover his growing family’s needs. Rav Pincus looked quizzically at the talmid for a moment, and replied with a wide smile and a wave of his hand. “This avreich can’t sleep! He can’t eat… Tell me, if it was my son, and he needed emergency dental work, would you understand the expense? What’s the difference if it’s my son, your son, or the Ribbono Shel Olam’s son?”
“And Bilam rose in the morning and saddled his donkey…” (Bamidbar 22:21)
Our parasha describes how Balak, king of Moav, contracts the evil prophet, the respected and powerful sorcerer Bilam, to curse Am Yisrael. Rashi points out an important lesson in the alacrity with which Bilam responds to the invitation: “From here we learn that hate causes a disregard for the standard of dignified conduct, for Bilam saddled his donkey by himself.” As a result of his intense, irrational hatred of Jews, Bilam didn’t wait for his servants, and rushed to saddle his donkey on his own, relishing the opportunity to embark on this mission to cause harm to Am Yisrael.
Rashi continues by juxtaposing Bilam’s actions with Avraham Avinu’s at the Akeidah: “Hakadosh Baruch Hu said (to Bilam), ‘Rasha, wicked one! Their father Avraham has already preceded you, as the passuk says: Avraham arose in the morning and saddled his donkey (Bereishit 22:3).’”
When Avraham Avinu rose early in the morning, eager and prepared to fulfill Hashem’s will at the Akeidah, he was ‘alacritous to perform the commandment’. This, the Gemara explains (Sanhedrin 105b, Rashi), is an example of how “love negates the standard conduct of those of prominence.” In this case, Avraham Avinu’s passionate dedication and love for Hashem negated his normal conduct, and he rushed to bind his son on an altar.
This coming week begins the period of bein haMetzarim, when our focus intensifies on making a tikkun for the destruction of the Beit HaMikdash. It is a time for us to consider our dedication to both our brothers and sisters, as well as our passion and fervor in mitzvah observance. Perhaps it is a time as well for us l’kalkeil shura, ‘to break the rules of conduct’ in our Ahavat Yisrael and go beyond our typical standards of giving and doing on behalf of others.
May we learn from the opposite examples of Balak, and lehavdil, Avraham Avinu – as well as the holy actions of Rav Pincus zt”l – and may we do whatever it takes to help others and fulfill Hashem’s will.
Weekly Dvar Torah
FROM ERETZ YISRAEL
Rabbi Judah Mischel is Executive Director of Camp HASC, and Mashpiah of OU-NCSY. He is a member of Mizrachi’s Speakers Bureau (www.mizrachi.org/ speakers).
Parshat Balak: How Could Bilaam be a Prophet?
BY GAVRIEL COHN
Bilaam’s prophetic powers are often taken for granted. Bilaam was a flawed, even depraved individual but G-d nevertheless “bestowed His presence upon him.” Despite his conceited character and immoral behaviour, Bilaam was gifted by G-d, for whatever reason, with the ability to “bless and curse” and to divine the future. Such is the view of many thinkers (Rashi; Ramban; Maharal).
Yet, according to the Rambam, only a moral, good person can attain prophecy. Prophecy is a deep knowledge of G-d and His creation, a perception of reality so bright and clear. Only a balanced, moral, and elevated human being can become a prophet, improving his character and then intellect to be able to contemplate ever more transcendent matters. As the Rambam explains, “Prophecy is bestowed only upon a very wise sage of a strong character who is not overcome by his natural inclinations but rather overcomes them” (Hilchot Yesodei HaTorah, chapter 7).
Bilaam, in stark contrast to this, was a depraved, arrogant, and lustful individual (see Rambam’s Commentary on Pirkei Avot, chapter 5), and yet he attained a level of divine inspiration akin to some of the greatest Biblical figures (Guide for the Perplexed, end of Part II).
How, according to the Rambam’s understanding of prophecy, that to attain prophecy one has to have a refined character, could Bilaam have had “the spirit of G-d rest upon him”?
This is a difficult question, with no clear answers in the writings of the Rambam.
However, the Rambam does mention that Bilaam only achieved this level of divine inspiration “when he was good” (Guide, end of Part II). Bilaam only experienced prophecy in those moments when he was inspired to refine himself and soar spiritual heights to “hear the words of G-d.” Indeed, “many prophets only prophesised at varying intervals, like flashes of lighting in the darkness of a long night” (Introduction, Guide for the Perplexed; Scott Alexander).
What though would have prompted Bilaam to “be good” and refine his character at those exact moments, attaining prophesy and blessing the Jewish People precisely when he did?
Bilaam journeyed to curse the Jews and stopped at the edge of their vast encampment. He then stood and “gazed at this nation” before him. The Jewish travellers he saw in the distance were “established and imposing, like the surrounding mountains and hills, steadfastly perpetuating the peculiar lifestyle of their forefathers.” Bilaam was amazed by this “nation that dwells alone, not be reckoned among the nations.” They displayed modesty too in their dwellings. He then noticed how the Jewish tents were pitched in a perfect formation, four groups encircling the Sanctuary, all the tribes unique yet united. From another mountain peak, Bilaam then surveyed the Jewish People again, and remembered that this was a nation that despite terrible suffering and subjugation, had defiantly marched out of their centuries-old House of Slavery, completely untainted by the magic and superstitions of Egypt, focused instead on their tabernacle. A people that had “raised itself like a lion.”
In short, Bilaam was taken back this nation he saw. By watching the Jewish People from a distance he realised just how remarkable they were. Bilaam was inspired to “be good” and attain this level of divine inspiration, like sudden flashes of light. He then filled his prophetic parables with praises of the People. Despite his flawed character, in those moments of surveying the Jewish People, he worked on himself and achieved a level of prophecy.
Throughout the ages, both Jews and Gentiles have also been inspired by the Jewish People, “a nation that sits alone and rises like a lion,” an “emblem of eternity” whose unique lifestyle lights up their dwellings.
Gav works as an Account Executive at The PR Office, a London-based Public Relations firm. Feedback? gavcohn@gmail.com
Balak Sidra Summary
1ST ALIYA (KOHEN) – BEMIDBAR 22:2-12

Balak, the king of Moab, having seen that the Israelites defeated the Emorites, is afraid that they will plot against him. Balak sends emissaries to Midian, to Bilaam the son of Be’or, asking him to curse the Israelites. Bilaam tells Balak’s emissaries to stay the night, to give him time to see how G-d will instruct him. G-d appears to Bilaam at night and warns him not to travel to Moab to curse the Israelites, who are a blessed nation.
2ND ALIYA (LEVI) – 22:13-20
Bilaam wakes up in the morning and tells Balak’s officers that he is unable to go with them, due to G-d’s warning. After they report back to Balak, he sends higher-ranking officers to persuade Bilaam. Bilaam repeats that he is bound by G-d’s word. G-d again appears to Bilaam at night, telling him that he has permission to go, but that he must do what He instructs him.
3RD ALIYA (SHLISHI) – 22:21-38
Bilaam saddles his donkey and travels with Balak’s officers. G-d is angered by Bilaam’s decision and sends an angel to impede him. The donkey sees the angel, who has a drawn sword in his hand. She deviates from the road to avoid the angel. Bilaam, unable to see the angel, hits the donkey. The angel positions himself between two parallel fences. When the donkey moves towards the wall, pressing Bilaam’s leg against it, Bilaam again hits her. The angel then places himself in a narrow part of the path, making it impossible for the donkey to circumvent him. She stops and crouches, causing Bilaam to get angry and hit her again. G-d “opens the mouth of the donkey”, who defends her actions. G-d now “uncovers Bilaam’s eyes” and he sees the angel. The angel chastises Bilaam, who admits his sin and suggests that he returns home. The angel responds that he can continue his journey but must not say anything other than what G-d tells him. Balak goes out to greet Bilaam on the border of Arnon.
4TH ALIYA (REVI’I) – 22:39-23:12
Bilaam and Balak go to a vantage point from where Bilaam can see the edge of the Israelite camp. Bilaam tells Balak to build him seven altars and give him seven bulls and rams to sacrifice. Balak complies and Bilaam sacrifices the animals. G-d appears to Bilaam and tells him what to say. Against his will, Bilaam actually blesses the Israelites. Balak is incensed, yet Bilaam claims that he is unable to defy G-d’s command.
“G-d opened the mouth of the donkey and it said to Bilaam, ‘What have I done to you that you struck me these three times?’” (Bemidbar 22:28)
Point to Consider: How do we see Bilaam trying to emulate the patriachs? (see Rashi to 23:4)
5TH ALIYA (CHAMISHI) – 23:13-26
Balak takes Bilaam to a new location in the hope of a better result. Once again, Bilaam brings animal offerings. As before, G-d appears to Bilaam, who can only bless, not curse, the Israelites.
6TH ALIYA (SHISHI) – 23:27-24:13
Balak and Bilaam go to a third location. After bringing the offerings to the altar, Bilaam sees the encampments of the Israelites and “the spirit of G-d rests upon him” so that he actually no longer wants to curse them (Rashi). Again Bilaam blesses Israel. Balak dismisses him. 7th Aliya (Shevi’i) – 24:14-25:9 Before leaving, Bilaam tells Balak that the Israelites could be vulnerable to licentious behaviour (Rashi). He then prophesies about future stages of their history. Bilaam and Balak go their separate ways. The Israelites settle in Shittim where the men are attracted to Moabite women, as well as towards worshipping the idol Pe’or. Pinchas, a grandson of Aharon, sees a public display of licentious behaviour and kills the culprit, Zimri from the tribe of Shimon, along with Kozbi, the Midianite princess.
Balak
RABBI DR RAYMOND APPLE
BALAK & BILAM
The name Balak comes from a root that means to lick up or lay waste. King Balak was the son of Tzippor, king of the Moabites. Looking down at the Israelite camp he was apprehensive and said they were likely to lick up everything around, as an ox licks up the grass of the field.
Bilam is from a root that means to swallow up; the name means “destroying the people”. As Bilam – a diviner – was regarded as a false prophet who misled others, his name appears in rabbinic literature as a symbol for Jesus though this was quite anachronistic.
Christianity had a high opinion of Bilam (based on Num. 24:17). The rabbis were ambivalent about him. Though Pir’kei Avot calls him Bilam the Wicked (Avot 5:19) there was a view that he was as good a prophet for the gentiles as Moses was for the Jews (Numbers Rabbah 20:1).
HITTING THE DONKEY
When Bilam got annoyed with his donkey he hit the animal (Num. 22:27).
This reminds me of the time, years ago, when I was called upon to compose a prayer for the welfare of animals. I had the Bilam story in mind when I wrote, “Teach us to fulfil Your command in Scripture, ‘A righteous person knows the needs of his animal’ (Prov. 12:10)… Teach us to treat animals with kindness and concern, admonished by Bilam’s ass which rebuked its master.”
G-d made human beings the pinnacle of His creation, giving man priority over other creatures. Animals were placed at the service of man but had to be treated properly, for example being fed before their human masters.
The messianic dream is that “the wolf shall lie down with the lamb and the leopard with the kid, and a little child shall lead them” (Isa.11:6-9).
SEEING ONLY THE GOOD
Rabbi Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev had a surpassing love for the people of Israel.
He quoted a verse in this week’s reading, “He has seen no iniquity in Jacob, no perverseness in Israel” (Num. 23:21). Levi Yitzchak said, “That is how a good person should act, not seeing evil in others but constantly looking for things to praise”.
For him, the A-lmighty is the model to emulate: If the people of Israel sin, G-d doesn’t want to know. In His eyes they are good people, righteous, trying to do the right thing.
We too should see only the good in others. This creates a problem, especially on Yom Kippur. How can we recite all those confessions of sins – “we have done wrong, we have spoken evil talk” – when G-d doesn’t want to know?
The answer is that G-d is the judge, not us. We are afraid that we have sullied the good name of His people, and that He will say, “I have changed My mind about them!”
We can only hope that He will find that our good deeds outweigh our transgressions. And high up on the list of good deeds is to be able to say, “We have tried at all times to judge others favourably”.
HAFTARAH
The prophet Micha describes the Messianic times that the ‘remnant of Yaakov’ will experience. He also recalls how G-d looked after the nation in the desert after the Exodus from Egypt, including His thwarting of the evil plans of Balak and Bilaam.
Rabbi Raymond Apple was for many years Australia’s highest profile rabbi and the leading spokesman on Judaism. After serving congregations in London, Rabbi Apple was chief minister of the Great Synagogue, Sydney, for 32 years. He also held many public roles, particularly in the fields of chaplaincy, interfaith dialogue and Freemasonry, and is the recipient of several national and civic honours. Now retired, he lives in Jerusalem and blogs at http://www.oztorah.com