All Abroad Magazine by dave bull

issue number 2    September 2011

www.allabroad.es

what a little cracker it is...!

ie r o t S   e f pat's Li

s a w   How it for  you ? Fortuna is All Aboard! We pay a visit and welcome our newest readers THIRD CULTURE KIDS

Kids who grow up in  a foreign country

Advice on…

On the beach…

Are you a Bond girl or… The Beach Blob?

COVERING

Insurance Smart Bus Cards Banks & Business

GRAN ALACANT- SANTA POLA - LA MARINA - GUARDAMAR - ROJALES CATRAL - ALMORADI - ALGORFA ALBATERA - HONDONS - LA ROMANA & PINOSO - HABANERAS -TORREVIEJA - CABO ROIG - LA ZENIA VILLA MARTIN - PUNTA PRIMA - PLAYA FLAMENCA… & NOW FORTUNA!

‘So that’s what he calls ‘’work’’?’ A month with Dave Bull

August started with a ride up the coast alongside the Med’ to San Juan for an interview with photog’ rapher Richard Poolton and boy was it hot. 6th august’ wow it was still hot! I bought an ice’ cold coke but wasn’t sure whether to drink it, or rub it in.

I got home one day later in the week to two very’ pleased’to’see’you’ dogs’Hmmm, if only dogs could whistle... I got in and the two dinners I had prepared earlier were gone, all that was left were two clean plates, and no cutlery had been used’

On the Sunday I bought a newspaper at my

one of those may now be out all,

still

of date as many youngsters

and in my (late)

last month took up running –

strive for better health I’ve

although they were carrying

just come back from the gym

having used that new machine

window at the time so I’m not

for half an hour that left me

sure if it counts…?

feeling sick, in the end I had to

But what have we got in the

stop – but it’s great and does

mag this month then? Well,

everything,

Karen Dowsing for one,

elcome

summer

mars

it’s

bars,

kit

plasma

from

Curry’s

BLAME

kats, coke...

who is the founder of

So its September, the best

the New2You furniture

time of year in my humble

chain.

opinion, a time to relax, a time

for the ladies of the Costas to

have a little chat about her

She

sit

decided

down

with

and

lay back and put their feet up

experiences in Spain over the

usual Spanish newsagents. Now, I’ve been going in this newsagent for six months and had won’ dered why one day the owner will say hello and others not say a word... found out that day, ’he’ is twins...

(you know what I mean) and

last 20 or so years both as a

grab a decent book. Talking of

mum to two youngesters and

books I had a bit of a dilemma

as the boss of a successful,

at the medieval market/book

and growing, business.

fair last month; should

One not to be missed is

A new week and an invite to Fortuna from

Hemingway’s

my friend Pete means a nice trip through the mountains on my motorbike, then I’ll have test the hot baths when I get there followed by lunch and finally I’ll need to find a cafe to write about my day... work, work, work eh’?

Little tip I learnt this week’ don’t mop yourself out of the house then forget when you come back that a bucket of dirty water is just inside door’ Another interview on the 23rd took me to La Ze’ nia to meet Rob Bloomer aka ’Just Bono’ ’ great bloke and watch out for the interview soon. on my return to my home town and while enjoying a caf’, ’Mabel’, who insists she is my ’special Spanish friend’ finds me... with her hands either side of my face she tells me ’you WILL call me soon..’

Back to the UK for my mum and dads 50th

Afternoon’

‘Death

the

I get the

Juani,

the

ex-butcher,

who

squeaky

used to work in a supermarket

hammer that lights up when

supplying Brits with meat but

you hit something...in the end

can’t speak a word of English.

I bought both and passed the

To explain she used to do

book onto my five year old

impressions of the animals…

nephew who didn’t even seem

see her hilarious impressions

to appreciate it.

(and stories) inside All Abroad

Here’s the other thing...I’ve

this month.

agreed to sing a song (in drag)

And before you run off and

SUNSHINE…

with the lovely Georgie May if we get enough sponsors for her charity calendar. Now I KNOW most of you won’t fancy the idea of me in a frock so I’m

enjoy the rest of this mag

fairly safe there but if you can

make

find her on Facebook – give

fantasy football league from

sure

you

join

our

her a helping hand for a good

our website and be in with a

anniversary and a great knees up with some old friends, plus our timing was good with Eastbourne air show on the Friday, (watching) Gay Pride in Brighton on the Saturday and the mental Bird Man Challenge in Worthing on Sunday, what a weekend!

cause (Easy Horse Care) would

chance of winning 250€ - and

you?

it’s free!

I was sent some interesting

Some new stuff too this month

stuff this month which stated

and plenty from our regulars to

that: 10% of kids can’t ride a

keep you occupied, but if you

bike, 9% can’t swim, & 29%

don’t see what you want on the

have never run a distance of

pages – tell me – and I’ll do my

400 metres... which is very

very best to satisfy…

scary to say the least, although

Read on and enjoy…Dave x

rikey another month over’time to relax and tonight, after supporting a local bar, I plan to take the long route home...zigzag fashion, bouncing off walls, and talking to bins...

IT ON THE

& I would guess that the last

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STOP TO THOSE ANNOYING EMAILS & PHONE CALLS PUT A By now, I suspect eve-

email is, is a way to get names and ‘cookie’

mediately) would make each telemarket-

ryone is familiar with

tracking information for telemarketers and

ing call so much more time-consuming that

snopes.com for deter-

spammers -- to validate active email ac-

boiler room sales would grind to a halt.

mining whether information received via email is just that: true/false or fact/fiction.

counts for their own profitable purposes.

Then when you eventually hear the phone

You can do your Friends and Family mem-

company’s

‘beep-beep-beep’

tone,

you

bers a GREAT favour by sending this in-

know it’s time to go back and hang up your

TANT!!

formation to them.

handset, which has efficiently completed its

1) Any time you see an email that says “for-

a service to your friends. And you will be

ward this on to ‘10’ (or however many) of

rewarded by not getting thousands of spam

your friends”, “sign this petition”, or “you’ll

emails in the future!

Advice from snopes.com

VERY IMPOR-

You will be providing

task. These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting...

get bad luck” or “you’ll get good luck” or

Do yourself a favour and STOP adding your

“you’ll see something funny on your screen

name(s) to those types of listing...regard-

(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end?

inviting

This is a telemarketing technique where

always has an email tracker program at-

they might sound!

a machine makes phone calls and records

tached that tracks the cookies and emails of

Or make you

the time of day when a person answers the

those folks you forward to. The host sender

f e e l

less

after you send it” or whatever --- it almost

how

phone.

is getting a copy each time it gets forward-

This technique is used to determine the

ed and then is able to get lists of ‘active’

best time of day for a ‘real’ sales person to

email addresses to use in SPAM emails or

call back and get someone at home. What you can do after answering, if you

sell to other Spammers. guilty if

Even when you get emails that demand you

you don’t!

send the email on if you’re not ashamed of God/Jesus --- that is email tracking, and they are playing on our conscience. These people don’t care how they get your email

It’s all about getting email addresses and nothing more. You may think you are supporting a GREAT

notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times as quickly as possible. This confuses the machine that dialled the call, and it kicks your number out of their

addresses - just as long as they get them.

cause, but you are NOT!

system. Gosh, what a shame not to have

Also, emails that talk about a missing child

Instead, you will be getting tons of junk

your name in their system any longer!

or a child with an incurable disease “how

mail later and very possibly a virus at-

would you feel if that was your child” ---

tached! Plus, we are helping the spammers

email tracking. Ignore them and don’t par-

get rich! Let’s not make it easy for them!

ticipate! 2) Almost all emails that ask you to add your name and forward on to others are

Tips for Handling Telemarketers

similar to that mass letter years ago that

Three Little Words That Work!!

asked people to send business cards to the

(1)The three little words are: ‘Hold On,

little kid in Florida who wanted to break

Please...’

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Saying this, while putting down your phone

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Fiscal help... Spanish probate / Inheritances Spanish Wills Conveyancing Notarial deeds Fiscal representation Property taxes

uring the month of August, the Annual General Meeting will have been held in most urbanisations. Although there is no fixed time stipulation in the regulations other than one mandatory annual meeting per year, the month of August is widely used in Spain simply because that is the time of the year when most house owners are present and can attend the meeting.

been able to attend the meeting, or failed to vote by proxy, and you wish to veto a decision adopted by a majority vote during the meeting you may inform your Administration in writing. This is best sent by registered mail and without delay upon receiving the minutes. For the meeting itself it is important to make sure all your community fees have been paid up-to-date in order to exercise your right to vote. Property owners owing community

Power of attorney

As a property owner and part of the com-

fees are entitled to attend the meeting but

munity you receive a letter of summons to

not to vote.

Private sales contracts

the meeting from the Administration. In the

Change-over of utility bills

tion, and the points

Planning permissions

there is an important

same you are informed of the date and locaon the agenda. If issue you wish to raise at the meeting that has to be put up for vote, you will need to inform your President or Administration for it to be put on the agenda. This request is best made in writing and

If you are currently in debt with your community, apart from

‘apart from losing your

losing your voting right you might not

voting right you might

wish to appear on

not wish to appear on

list that is sent along

the debtors’ blacklist

A fairly long black-

that is sent along with

dency to make the

the summons’

the debtors’ blackwith the summons. list has the tenremaining

owners

hesitant about their own payments. This can cause big prob-

well in advance

lems in any urbanisation. For that reason, a Along with the summons to the meeting you

community law and speedier proceedings

receive a representation form to be com-

regarding debt collection were introduced

pleted for those who wish to vote by proxy. If

some time ago.

you have strong views on some of the points on the agenda or when extra payments for

The proceedings take around three months

repairs are involved it is important to make

only, starting with a demand in court signed

use of the same and ensure that the person

by the President and the Administrator. After

representating you has your proxy vote at

a case has been admitted, the debtor has to

the meeting.

deposit the amount owed within 20 days. In case of non-payment, an embargo is placed

After the meeting, you will receive the min-

on the property.

utes of the meeting from the Administration in due course. In the case that you have not

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PEEP PLUS by Malcolm Palmer

SPOTTED REDSHANK

REDSHANK

I wrote last month about the group of

elegant cousin, the Spotted Redshank,

usually orange legs, and not very prettily-

little shorebirds which seem to cause a

with which, in pale winter plumage it can

proportioned.

great deal of confusion amongst relative

be confused. The Spotted Redshank has a

Another small group I haven’t mentioned

beginners, and which the Americans call,

longer, more slender bill, darker red legs,

is the phalaropes – swimming waders,

collectively ‘peep’ – they mostly have calls

and a sliver of white going right up its

whose breeding biology is all back-to-front

which sound a bit like that.

back when you see it in flight. It wades

(the males incubate the eggs and have

Now I’d like to look at the next lot up.

rather more deeply in general than its rel-

dull plumage, whilst the gaudy females

The medium-sized waders are generally

ative, and, again, is instantly recognisable

take the lead in courtship) Two species

easier to identify, but there are one or

by its sharp‘chewit’ call. It breeds far to

need concern us here. The small, dainty

two pitfalls. We’ll start with a pair which

the north and east of us, and is common

Red-necked is a passage migrant, usually

should give little trouble, the Green and

here in winter. The lovely Greenshank

favouring fresh water, and has a tiny, thin,

Wood Sanpipers, closely related but quite

is a lot easier. Much paler, usually, than

bill, whilst the more chunky Grey is more

different. The Green Sandpiper, found all

the rest of its family, it has, as the name

likely to be seen on salt water, and may

year here, likes to hang around in ditches

suggests, green legs, is rather large, and

well be seen in the winter. Care should,

and small streams, and is easily flushed,

has a slightly upturned bill. Its call is an

however, be exercised in the identifying

when it can look black and white-rumped,

instant indicator of its presence, a ringing,

of these birds, as, outside the breeding

like a huge House Martin, and it calls with

‘tew tew tew,’ almost always trisyllabic.

season, they can, either of them, ap-

a distinctive ‘tweedledi-doo’ as it flies off.

There remains one, much rarer, member

pear anywhere! Any small wader foundd

Its cousin, the Wood Sandpiper, mostly a

of this group to be mentioned, and that

habitually swimming should be given close

spring and autumn migrant, is more often

is the delightful, dainty, Marsh Sandpiper,

scrutiny.

in small flocks, on freshwater margins, is

a smaller version of the Greenshank,

I am also conscious that I haven’t

less ‘contrasty’ – a nice, elegant wader

with an impossibly thin bill, and the most

mentioned the Snipe family, but I doubt

with green legs and a very frequently

elegant proportions of all birds – my very

they will give too much of a problem to

heard ‘chiff chiff chiff’ call in flight.

favourite, and to be looked for on fresh

anybody – unless, of course, you have the

Moving on to the slightly larger Tringa

water mud in the autumn.

fortune to find a Great Snipe!

species, we have to look at the very com-

A species all on its own is the Ruff – no

Above all, then, as you will see from the

mon year-round resident, the Redshank,

problem in breeding plumage males, but

above, the essential thing is to use your

which most people will recognise from its

you are more likely to see streaky males

ears as well as your eyes, look analyti-

orangy-red legs, and strident ‘pee-wee-

and much smaller females (Reeves) –

cally at what you see, and you won’t go

wee’ call. But beware its larger, more

small-headed, shortish downcurved bill,

far wrong.

WALKING IN SPAIN Serra del Montgó.

Height 753m. Resembling an elephants head El Montgó is an excellent landmark when sailing from Ibiza to Dénia. It’s overall size offers a variety of hikes ranging from moderate to challenging. Steeped in history one can view the ancient water cave Cova de l’Aigua, the Roman

Legion inscription from AD 238, the Roman

RUFF

Websites for walkers in Spain.

road Cami de la Colonia, the huge Montgó eye and it’s caves and some of the 600

http://www.abdet.com/walking-holi-

forms of plant life that exist in El Parque

days-spain/ which has details of walks

Natural de Montgó. From the summit

if you click on the red/orange links.

excellent views can be seen of the Gulf of

http://costablanca.angloinfo.com/

Valencia and Ibiza on a clear day.

af/349/costa-blanca-walking-hiking-

For more info check out this great

and-climbing.html

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I Trusted

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SPANISH LESSONS ‘Vamos al médico’ T

here is no doubt that the Ex Pat population

with Vicki

Try translating these sentences into Spanish

here in Spain is, how can I say tactfully, on

the mature side, so due to the unfortunate fact

I want an appointment tomorrow.

that as we get older things start to need a bit of

I have a pain in my arm

fine tuning, it is more than likely that at some

I have a temperature.

time or another we will all need to visit the doc-

I need a prescription.

Email your answers to info@elprincipecentre.

tor. Therefore lots of people ask me for medical

I need drops for my eyes

com. For details on semi-intensive courses avail-

words that will help them at the medical centre

I have a rash on my leg

able or books and CD´s for home learning either

etc.

I need an appointment for next week.

email for information, ring 965 999 047 or visit

I´m dizzy and I have a pain in my

the website on www.elprincipecentre.com.

If you need to see a doctor for a serious com-

head

plaint, results of tests etc or anything more complex I would always recommend that you use an interpreter. However, for routine check ups or repeat prescriptions I know it can be costly and inconvenient to always have to rely on an interpreter. Of course better still would be to learn Spanish fluently enough yourself to cope in any situation! However, if you aren´t quite fluent yet, in the meantime here some useful words and phrases that might help you. Always plan your visits by taking things you might need to say written down in case you can´t make yourself understood orally. It helps to learn the alphabet so you can spell out your name etc. There are a few “false friends” as with anything in Spanish. I always remember thinking ”whoa, too much information”, when one of my English students announced he couldnt come to class because “estoy constipado” only to find out this in fact means “I have a cold” and not what it sounds like it does!! (La) cita- (thee-ta)-appointment (La) receta- (reh-theh-ta)-prescription (Las) pastillas- (pas-tee-yas)- tablets (Las) gotas-(goh-tas)-drops (La) erupción- (eh-rup-thee-on)- rash (La) fiebre-(fee-eh-breh)-temperature (El/la) médico/a-(meh-dee-ko)-the doctor (El dolor)-(doh-lor)-pain Mañana-(man-yah-na)-tomorrow/morning (La) semana que viene- (seh-man-ah kay beeeh-ne)-next week Tengo- (ten-go)-I have (La) pierna-(pee-er-na)- leg (El) brazo-(brah-tho)-arm (El) ojo-(oh-ko)-eye (La) mano-(mah-no)-hand (El) dedo-(deh-doh)-finger Quiero-(kee-er-oh)- I want Me mareo- (meh mah-reh-oh)-I´m dizzy Necesito-(neth-eh-thee-toe)-I need (La) cabeza-(kah-beh-tha)- head

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TIME TO COVER UP!

TAPAS!

FOOD& DRINK

DIY

VERB:TAPAR - “TO COVER”

apas originated in Andalucia, a Southern province of

(cold tomato soup), instead of wine, which increased body

Spain. The word “tapa” translates as “cover”. Tapas

heat rather than providing the necessary cold refreshment.

traditionally may have been a complementary piece

of sliced ham served on top of a glass of wine, but we know

The snack is called “alifara” in northern

them today as small portions of food commonly served as

Spain , Aragón and Navarra; and later, in

a snack before lunch or dinner. Tapas can be as simple as a

the Basque Country, it began to be called

bowl of olives or more hearty, such as slices of Serrano

“poteo”, because the wine had to be

ham.

drunk in “potes” (jars).

The tapa was born when, due to

Once the “botillerias” (bottle-shops)

an illness, the Spanish king Al-

and “tabernas” (taverns) became established throughout

fonso the 10th, the Wise, had

Spain , the wise King’s decree remained in place. For that

to take small bites of food with

reason, the glass or jar of wine was served covered with a

some wine between meals. Once

slice of either smoked ham or cheese, for two.

recovered from the disease, the wise king decreed that no wine was to be served in any of the inns in the land of Castile , unless accompa-

Spicy Sausage and Cheese Tortilla: This substantial tor-

nied by something to eat. This was a wise pre-

Wine was the natural

caution to counteract the adverse effects of

accompaniment to this

alcohol on those people who, through lack of money to buy a nourishing meal drank alcohol

snack, as it induced

on an empty stomach.

a mellow mood and

Apart from the story of the royal disease we

increased strength,

should consider the theory that the tapa first

tilla is delicious hot or cold. Cut it into chunky wedges and serve for supper or a light lunch with a fresh tomato and basil salad. The addition of spicy chorizo and tangy cheese gives it a wonderful, rich flavor. Barbecued Mini Ribs: These tasty ribs are known as Costillas in Spain. They are delicious cooked on a barbecue and al-

appeared because of the need of farmers and workers of

most as good when cooked under a hot grill. If you prefer a

other unions to take a small amount of food during their

sweeter flavour, use freshly squeezed orange juice instead

working time, which allowed them to carry on working until

of the sweet sherry.

time for the main meal. This main meal, rich in fat, was so

Fried Black Pudding (Morcilla Frita): Spanish morcilla -

heavy to digest that a “siesta” had to be taken for a couple

black pudding - is the first sausage to be made from the

of hours before going back to the fields or to the workshop.

freshly killed pig and is very popular throughout Spain. It is

Longer working hours in the morning meant an easier work-

flavoured with spices and herbs, usually including garlic and

load after the meal.

oregano, and has a wonderfully rich, spicy taste. Ceviche: You can use almost any firm-fleshed fish for this

Wine was the natural accompaniment to this snack, as it

Spanish influenced dish, provided

induced a mellow mood and increased strength, while in

that it is perfectly fresh. The fish is

winter it warmed the body as protection against very cold

‘cooked’ by the action of the acidic

days in the fields and in the workshops of the Middle Ages.

lime juice. Adjust the amount of

In summer, the drink taken in the South was “gazpacho”

chilli according to your taste.

Ingredients

Make Ceviche yourself

1 1/2 lb halibut, turbot, sea bass or salmon fillets, skinned Juice of 3 limes 1-2 fresh red chillies, seeded and very finely chopped 1 tablespoon olive oil Salt For the garnish 4 large firm tomatoes, peeled, seeded and diced 1 ripe advocado, peeled and diced 1 tablespoon lemon juice 2 tablespoon olive oil 2 tablespoon fresh coriander leaves

Preparation Cut the fish into strips measuring about 2 x 1/2 inch. Lay these in a shallow dish and pour over the lime juice, turning the fish strips to coat them all over in the juice. Cover with a clear film (plastic wrap) and leave for 1 hour. Mix all the garnish ingredients, except the coriander, together. Set aside. Season the fish with salt and scatter over the chillies. Drizzle with the oil, Toss the fish in the mixture, then replace the cover. Leave to marinate in the fridge for 15-30 minutes more. To serve, divide the garnish among six plates. Spoon the ceviche, sprinkle with coriander, and serve.

Sangria If you love the cooling taste of a sangria, you will likely love a wide variety of Spanish drink recipes. Most are perfect for summer sipping. The key to all of these cocktails is to make them with quality wine. That said, you also don’t want to waste a very expensive bottle of wine by adding fruit, sugar and juice to it - which you’ll do for most all Spanish drink recipes. Stay within the €10.00 to €20.00 range, and you are sure to have a delicious cocktail that doesn’t break the bank.

Sangria Ingredients: 2 bottles of chilled dry red wine, such as Rioja (a traditional Spanish red) 1 cup of brandy 1 cup of orange juice 1/4 cup of granulated sugar 2 oranges, sliced into thin rounds 2 lemons, sliced into thin rounds 2 limes, sliced into thin rounds 2 apples, cut into 1/2-inch pieces 2 cups of cold sparkling water or club soda

Be Original - ALL ABROAD! -TEL. 606 540 408

9/11 By Suzanne Manners

wo black towers stand against a

it’s not safe to exit into the streets as

ions did not countenance any others;

violent blue sky like giant legs.

bodies and ash and debris rain down on

men who were willing to die and to

A roar of engine disturbs the morning

them. As the rescuers disappear into

kill for those beliefs, dangerous men,

quiet, faces glance up, searching for

the dark jaws of the buildings a low

men who spread terror. They were the

the source of such unexpected noise.

rumble travels from their centre and

strangers in black, the shadows on

The impact shatters glass and steel. A

out into the streets. As if in slow mo-

the street at dead of night, they were

bubble of burning debris, jet fuel and

tion the first tower falls, a stricken gi-

death.

office supplies bursts over New York

ant brought to its knees. The cloud cov-

Even now, ten years later there is a

and into our collective nightmare, not

ers New York and wraps itself around

rawness about 9/11. The events of

once but twice. As we watch, struck

the world. Then the second tower falls

that day were so shocking, the im-

dumb with horror, at what appears to

and all is silence.

age of those towers falling so terrify-

be an accident, a jet roars into sight

Everything

The

ing that they have been etched onto

and smashes into the second tower.

world shifted on its axis and we all be-

our unconsciousness like the red scar

The camera zooms in and focuses on

came a little scared, a little untrusting.

of an operation. Some people talk of

the straggle of burnt and torn figures,

The ground beneath and the sky above

conspiracies, of government cover ups,

faces pressed against hot steel sucking

became our enemies. We were no lon-

of plane loads of people being given

at the air, waving handkerchiefs and

ger safe. A line had been crossed. Two

new identities and disappearing. These

towels, desperate in their attempts to

jet planes had smashed into buildings

theories exist for the simple fact that

alert rescuers to their plight. Fathers,

full of working people, waiters, bank-

people find it hard to accept that what

sons, mothers, daughters, friends all

ers, accountants, fire fighters and po-

happened, happened, that an ordinary

lost. Behind there are flames and twist-

lice, airline pilots, flight attendants,

autumn morning could end in such a

ed metal blocking exits, in front, there

passengers, children, Muslims, Chris-

nightmare.

is nothing. Which path to take?

tians, Jews, no one safe.

changed

that

day.

A group of educated men (men like

On the ground people stare upwards

They had hijacked four planes, four

any you see on the street) plotted to

in blind terror. Old people, Europeans

commercial jet liners and turned them

crash commercial jets into buildings.

mostly, remember cities bombed at

into bombs. If they can do that, we rea-

And they succeeded. It happened. The

dead of night during the war, but this is

soned, they can do anything.

line was crossed.

now, this is New York, home of ‘Friends’

The line had been crossed.

There really is a bogeyman.

and ‘Sex in the City’. This is America.

And who were they? We found out later

This does not happen in America, not

they were wealthy educated men, each

(This is dedicated to the memory of all

in real life, only in films and if this were

of them the product of a Western, lib-

those people who have lost their lives to

a film then Superman would swoop in

eral upbringing. But they were men

acts of terrorism)

and pluck people as they fell and hand

full of hatred, men whose own beliefs,

them safely to grateful relatives wait-

whose own view of the world and opin-

ing down below. Instead, one after another they fall like ripe apples from a tree. And we watch, hands to mouths, eyes wide not believing what we see. Over and over the jets smash into steel and concrete, over and over flames leap into the blue sky, over and over, men and women fall. Fire fighters, laden with gear, storm up towards the flames. Office workers walk past them, dazed and covered in soot and dust, lungs burning with chemical heat. Survivors are diverted,

JUST MARRIED

The newlyweds are in their honeymoon ro

Mystic Monkey

and the groom decides to let the bride kn

where she stands right from the start of t marriage.

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SEPTEMBER 2011 “Oooh, too bizarre, you go girl”, “Silly strange not strangestrange” and “Get some in babe” are your lucky retro drag queen gay scene terms to be used when discussing a celebrity story that appears on the news, internet, or on the back of breakfast cereal packs, with your girlfriends this month. Blues harmonica playing has never been better starred, especially in impromptu nights spent in police cells. Grunting like tennis players is about to permeate street culture this month, especially for Taurus construction workers and nightclub bouncers.

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He replies, “And don’t forget that! I will al wear the pants in the family!”

The bride takes off her knickers and throw

them at him with the same request, “Try t on!”

He replies,”I can’t get into your knickers!”

youlong never bloodywithout will if you don’t ch After“And a long, summer football MASA International Fantasy yourthe attitude.” Football League is back and back with

pears to have been joined by the rest of the McGinn clan, and if they are

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half as good as him at racking up the points, then the rest of us have a challenge on our hands. The final Sunday of the month saw a mountain of goals and points accumulated at the expense of the North London comedy double act that is Arsenal and Tottenham. Those who chose

Pullovers hung on your shoulders, tied in front, continues to be an almost fashion catalogue example of college chic which only a truly committed Virgo, such as yourself, can carry off this month. Put on your intelligent looking eye glasses and there isn’t a student bar in the world that wouldn’t let you in.

wisely (not me) shot up the table and will come as no surprise to many that the Manager of Month (barring any last

Groping yourself in the shower has never been better starred this month, especially when thoroughly washing your bottom and upper thighs with warm soapy water. Brendan Fraser continues to be your lucky movie star, especially in movies in which he punches the bad guys on the nose or in the face-cheek (if he punches the bad guy on the bottom cheek you’ve got the wrong Brendan Fraser.)

minute point adjustments) is from the Fantasy Football Dynasty that is the McGinn family. Well done Rooney’s Tel. 96 543 23 50- toldospenalver@terra.es - www.toldospenalver.com

Rompers under the stewardship of Elliott McGinn who amassed a whopping 97 points in the final weekend of

Saturn is guiding you to choose nice warm cardigans, heavy nightclub shirts, or whatever explorers wear in the North Pole, even though the weather is hot again this month. Double back flips followed by a quick kick to the knee is your lucky Ninja move.

August.

Fears that you may turn into a terrorist if you were to even say the words ‘Al Jazeera’, the Arabic news service, will be challenged this month when, due to some strange sub terrorist kind of incident, Al Jazeera becomes the only news channel you can watch.

The prize format is the same as last season. Each month the manager who accumulated the most points will be named Manager of Month and will win dinner for two at the Hotel MASA over-

Beware of Italians, members of the Jersey Shore cast - including those similarly named, and particularly anyone who has named one or more of his body parts. Ethical, ethereal and Egypt are your lucky e words this month in any word competition, apart from crosswords and Scrabble.

looking the sea (no sheepskin jacket required).

Your attempt to get rid of bags under your eyes will only be successful using a ceremony of sacrifice in which you must offer recently dead virgin bodies of a wasp, marsh gnat and housefly to the planet Neptune as it reaches its zenith on the stroke of midnight Sunday.

The bride replies, “I can’t wear your trous

Last seasons winner Alan McGinn ap-

Favour states beginning with the letter C this month, especially if you are looking to buy truck loads of peaches, or set up some kind of money laundering operation to pacify a drug baron who is holding a member of your family hostage.As the Sun starts to increase its activity, your dreams are set to become more blockbusterish than usual. Enjoy, it’ll be like having a second more interesting life when you sleep at night.

In any bare footed karate fight favour a fast right foot kick to the kisser followed quickly with one to the chest. Choose priests or gorillas as your lucky professional wrestling mask and matching all body lycra costume theme all month.

them at her. He says, “Put those on.”

a veritable bang.

Embrace flowery people with open arms this month. Harry Potter 7b is your luckiest upcoming movie even if some noisy friend has read the book and knows how it all ends. The planets don’t want me to write any more here apart from Jupiter who wants me to tell you whodunnit and whohedoodittoo. I won’t spoil it any more than that. Neptune is determined to add a musical flavour to Cancer this month now that the summer music festival circuit is well underway. Mentions of Beyoncé, Coldplay and U2 in the same breath with bring nothing but love for the coming month from this loved up wellington boots wearing wannabe

He proceeds to take off his trousers and t

Of course, we are all chasing the big prize of €250 that goes to the the top of table manager at the end of the season. It’s not too late to get involved, so if you want to join, drop me an email at paul@masainternational.com and I’ll send you an invite.

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1.) Sagrada Familia - Barcelona A Nice enough building, although taking 128 years to date, and with an estimated 15 years until completion I think that they have blown their performance related bonus. Of course, the real wonder here is how on earth they can justify charging 14 euros to visitors for what is basically looking around a construction site (or at least it was the last time I went)

WONDERS OF SPAIN...?

2.) Mount Teide - Tenerife The lengthy car drive up to the top and the view across to Africa, with the temperature drop along the way making you wonder why you didn’t wear more than a vest and a pair of speedos. 3.) Moros y Cristianos - Alcoy Basically a load of locals dressing up as either invading Muslims or defending christians, parading round the streets and setting off firecrackers and generally being Spanish. I wonder if this sort of thing would be seen as an affront to the Muslim religion and be banned on the streets of the UK? 4.) The ‘White Villages’ - las Alpujarras The drive over the Sierra Nevadas from Gaudix, past the summit and

the Ski Village, down through the famous White Villages, enjoying the view down to Malaga and across the Med to Morroco on a clear day - the winding roads making you wonder if you stand a chance of making it in one piece if you should encounter a speeding truck coming towards you round one of those bends. 5.) The Alhambra - Granada I’ve put this one in for two reasons: One, because I’ve been there myself and so have to go along with the Cliché. Two, because a recent news article reported how the Government of Morocco were claiming 50% of the revenues taken by the Alhambra in ticket sales as they maintain that the last ruler kicked out of the palace was of Moroccan origin and unfairly evicted.

yOUR TRAVEL INSURANCE As Globelink are the leading Travel Insurer for people living in all European countries, new questions arise every day. Here are just a few of the most frequently asked questions We live in Spain can we still arrange travel insurance? Yes. Unlike most travel insurers, Globelink policies are available to residents of all EU countries. I have a Pre-Existing Medical Condition, can I still be insured? We have a long list of “Non Screen” conditions which are automatically covered including High Blood Pressure, High Cholesterol, Asthma, Diabetes provided you have no related complications. For more serious conditions, you have two options. You can either accept that the policy will not cover you for that particular condition, or you can speak to our Medical Screening Service who may include additional cover for a small extra premium. Am I covered for Emergency Repatriation? The cover under the policy includes the cost of return to your Country of Residence within the European Union by Air Ambulance or other appropriate means if medically necessary. If you die, the policy will pay funeral expenses abroad plus the cost of returning your ashes, or the cost of returning your body home. What is the Maximum length of time I can take on a Single Return trip? 18 months for people aged between 16 – 65 years and 6 months for people aged between 66 – 84 years. What is the maximum length of any one trip I can take on an annual multi-trip policy? Annual policies can cover for trips of up to 17, 31, 45, 60, 90 or 120 days if your age is under 66. People aged 66 – 70 years can cover trips of up to 17, 31, 45 or 60 days and aged 71 – 74 up to

6.) Las Fallas - Valencia The City of Valencia and the Town of Dénia, further down the Costa pay hundreds of thousands of Euros each year to build dozens of enormous intricate paper mache sculptures each March 17th. Then they burn them and set off a load of firecrackers called ‘Mascletas’. 7.) Castillo de Alaro - Mallorca The climb up to the Castle / Monastery atop the hill overlooking the village of Alaro in Mallorca, and the view across to Palma and the Med (told you there would be another ‘view’ in here somewhere). Nice Venta serving ‘cordero al horno’ near the top of the Mountain.

Questions & Answers

31 days. Policies with trip durations of 45 days or more, will also allow 17 days Winter Sports activities free of charge for people aged up to 65 years. Can people with an annual multi trip travel independently? Adults can travel independently but children must travel with one of the insured adults. I am flying to UK to connect to another flight to my holiday destination. Are both flights covered for Delay and Missed Departure? Most Travel Insurance policies only give cover for the original outward flight. But Globelink policyholders can rest assured that both flights are covered. Do annual policies cover travel in my Home Country within the European Union? You are covered for travel within your home country with in the EU as long as you are away from home for at least 2 nights in pre-booked accommodation. There is no cover for medical expenses arising in your home country. If you have any questions about Travel Insurance in general or Globelink policies in particular, please sent them by email to us at info@globelink.co.uk and we will do our best to provide the answers. Visit www.globelink.co.uk get a quote instantly and arrange cover securely online. Your travel insurance Policy and Emergency Assistance Card will be delivered to you immediately by email. Cover for people living in Spain and all other EU Countries. Call our UK office on +44 1353 699 082 or our Spanish link line on 96 626 5000.

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Welcome to this month’s computer article written by Richard from BlueMoon Solutions I found out something interesting this week. I had always been under the impression that Microsoft were by far the biggest “computer” company in the world. I mean their software is used on the vast majority of the PC’s, laptops and servers throughout every country, their percentage share of operating systems when compared to Apple for example is reported by Wikipedia to be as much as 90% in Microsoft’s favour – not bad in anyone’s book! So you can imagine my surprise when I read this

in 2007, yes it allows you to make phone calls (of

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week that Apple (yes them with the less than

course), they also integrated the features of the

10% market share in operating systems) were

iPod into it, allowing their iPhone users to play

Phone Calls Using Your PC

worth more than not only Microsoft, but Micro-

music, video, connect to the Internet to browse

soft and Intel put together! According to several

websites and send emails. Having owned a num-

sources, Microsoft is worth a staggering 201.59

ber of “smart” phones, including the iPhone I can

billion dollars. The processor giant Intel, whose

report its simply the best ‘mobile phone’ I have

chips are used in all of our computers (includ-

ever owned. Apple launched its App Store which

ing those Mac’s from Apple) are worth a paltry

allowed users of the latest iPods and iPhones to

115.21 billion dollars. However Steve’s Job’s (yep

download applications licenced to work on Apple

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that’s the name of the guy that

products, at present the store has

started Apple) little Californian

over half a million applications that

company is worth a whopping

can be downloaded, some are free

317.60

whilst others have to be paid for.

billion

dollars,

than both Microsoft and Intel

Macro Writing

Apple’s latest range of technology

put together!

was the iPad - again a device that

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I was staggered by this infor-

sold in its millions very quickly. It

mation, until I started to think

has now been surpassed by the

about the incredible things that

iPad2, a faster, better and more

this company has achieved dur-

technologically

ing recent history.

Again, I just had to buy the iPad

for

granted

their

If we take

advanced

device.

when it was launched – much to

Macintosh

Windows Server Configuration

computers and MacBook laptops as their “bread

Liesl’s frustration – it’s simply a great product. It

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and butter” products up until only ten years ago

looks and works like a dream, I have used a num-

in 2001 when they launched the first iPod, the

ber of other iPad wannabe’s and they simple are

classic MP3 player that was so successful that it

not as polished nor finished as the Apple product.

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spawned into many different varieties, iPods so

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small that you wouldn’t know you were holding

That’s about it for this month. If you are inter-

them but that still held 100’s of tracks through

ested in finding out more about and of the Apple

No Job Too Small

to massive iPods with screens that allow you to

products then you can jump go to their website

watch full length video movies – great for those

at www.apple.com and use the links at the top

boring flights.

of the page.

The iPod in its various styles is still very much

I hope you have found it useful, remember that

around today, however nowadays you can con-

you can see all of our articles on our website at

nect it to the Internet, browse websites on it,

www.bluemoonsolutions.es/articles

Email or phone us for friendly help and advice office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es mobile: 655 044 970 Office: 902 906 200

send emails and of course you can still play music on it!

It’s amazing that this product has taken

the world by storm given that it was the first MP3 player that Apple ever developed! Another first was the iPhone, launched by Apple

... and those that copy...TEL. 606 540 408

What’s your opinion of ‘living the life’? Good, bad, great! or indifferent? - we want to know @

www.almarchainsurance.com E-mail: info@almarchainsurance.com

Email: ask@allabroad.es Twitter: @allabroadmag Web: www.allabroad.es Or call us on: 606 540 408 Failing that: send a pigeon…!

ALGOR’FAN’ Dear Sir,

I read with interest the letter from ‘JB’ in your last issue. I have had a small property in Spain for the last 10 years and have largely enjoyed the experience. As it has a postcode

VI TALAR SVENSKA

within Algorfa I suppose I must be an ‘Algorfan’? I am however some 2.5 Kilometres from the village itself which is a typical small, quiet Spanish town with few non Spanish residents. I smiled at the reference to a weekly coach trip from the town hall to Benidorm. Most of the residents of Algorfa can be found in and around the town enjoying the company of friends and neighbours with conversations lasting long into the night. Their idea of hell would probably be

683101565

a coach trip to Benidorm! I would recommend the Algorfa area to anyone who wants to be in a quieter part of the Costa with coastal resorts and Mountains within easy reach. I enjoy a bit a golf now and again and the prestigious ‘La Finca’ course together with its own 5 star hotel is only minutes from my door. ps. can’t remember the last time I played Bingo - Butlins I think! Bob Daniels. Sounds like someone content with life…or has he just got a bar next door…? Ed

GETTING PC AT THE HOSPITAL THE HELP Vega Baja Hospital Visiting Team that services Torrevieja hospital had to suspend its work in March. The hospital found it necessary to enforce the ‘Patient’ Rights and Data Prevention law which meant that they were prevented from disclosing the names and location of English speaking patients. We have maintained contact with the hospital administration to see how this valuable service could be re-instated and at our last meeting with the Administrator we think a solution has been found. We, at ‘HELP’, will produce a simply worded leaflet explaining the situation to patients and the hospital, for its part, will try to ensure that all English speaking patients receive a copy. If you are visiting friends or family in the hospital, please make them aware of the situation and advise them to contact us on 966 723 733 (24hr service). To find out more about our Hospital Visiting Teams, go to our website at www.helpvegabaja.com By Carol Boyle

ALL ABROAD! - all our own ideas.

TEL. 606 540 408

ALL THAT POWER... Dear Editor, In reply to the letter from APSFU Shadow Councillors of San Fulgencio... I wish to bring to your attention, the Crime of Delitos del Honor, as a magazine it is your responsibility to ensure that the contents of all articles and letters printed are true and non-defamatory. You have published this letter without informing either the PIPN or The Equipo de Gobierno of San Fulgencio, without offering an opportunity to reply and refute the allegations of corruption, which is a very serious offence. Therefore, you may abrogate your responsibility by printing an apology at the first available opportunity. If you fail to do so, we will be replying to your magazine with a Denuncia. In reply to the actual letter: May I point out that as the polls showed a desire for change and after consultation with the other PIPN candidates and members, it was decided to go into talks with the PP. What with the criminal allegations hanging over the heads of the main candidates from the other parties, like the sword of Damocles, I was concerned about being aligned to them. As it transpired, two persons, members from the other two parties, contacted me the night before June 11th, the day the council would take their seats, with an 11th hour offer. I was offered the position

the figures that were quoted are before Tax and Insurance. In reply to the derogatory remarks made

From the website www.allabroad.es

about the PIPN web page, it should be noted that this web site was set up as a

Amanda

temporary site. PIPN are currently hav-

Spanish Solutions – La Zenia

ing a new web site designed and it will be

Submitted on 2011/08/18 at 1:06 pm

linked to the old one as soon as it is up and

I still can´t believe what has happened

running.

Dave, absolutely incredible, but know you

Finally, I would like to say that I take great

will produce a great new magazine, full

exception to the allegations of Political Cor-

of humour and intelligence. I wish you

ruption.

the best of luck and if our team can help

The dictionary definition of Political Cor-

in any way let me know. And if someone

ruption is: the abuse of public power, office

can´t say something nice, it really is bet-

or resources, by elected government of-

ter to say nothing at all…

ficials for personal gain. E.g. By extortion,

You haven’t got any Troll spray by any

soliciting or offering bribes. It can also

chance…?

take the form of Office holders, maintaining themselves in office, by purchasing votes,

James

by enacting laws and misuse of taxpayers’

Submitted on 2011/08/02 at 6:18 pm

money.

I suppose we have to thank the World

If the APSFU know of any individuals who

Health Organisation for ridding the earth

are suspected of the same, they should

of so many afflictions and diseases that

inform the Public Prosecutor, to have them

these idiots so richly deserve. Good luck

investigated.

Dave, You know where we are if we can

Jeffrey Wiszniewski.

help. AS LONG AS DB DRAW’S BREATH JD

Secundo Teniente de Alcalde, Concejal de

WILL BE BACK.

Urbanizaciones y Presidente de PIPN

James

Hi Jeff,

Stuart

I must say I’ve been dealing with councillors

Submitted on 2011/08/01 at 5:52 pm

here for years and this is the first time we’ve

I enjoyed your magazine, informative and

spoken and rather than a handshake, you offer

attractive, both serious and humorous,

a Denuncia…? Okay, sorry – there you go, but

and I hope you succeed in any legal ac-

we do live in a democracy Jeff and we printed

tion, and also any new developments you

the letter on the ‘Letters page’ which is, I think

have in mind. I will definitely be looking

you’ll find, quite a common place for readers to

out for All Abroad. These ne’er do wells

express their worries or opinions, and for you to

who steal other people’s ideas etc. never

answer them…?

ever succeed.

Ed.

Violet King

of Mayor, if I voted against Carlos Ramirez

makechanges.webs.com

“Thirty pieces of silver.”

NO IDEA?

As part of the PIPN manifesto, was to es-

Dave,

Dave……sadly we cannot control what

tablish a full time advice centre for all the

I just came upon the story of what has happened to

others do in life…the only thing we have

residents on the Urbanisations, it stood to

your magazine following a link from an email and sorry

control over is our reaction to it all. You

reason that it should be staffed by those

to hear of your challenges. It is so right that what goes

are, in my experience, strong enough to

who had shown experience in the past. It

around comes around and I am sure you will look back

deal with all these storms and come out

was also necessary that, they should be

in the future and laugh at how some people don’t have

with your head held high. “Onwards and

people whom I knew and trusted. It should

a good idea in their head but can only steal others and

upwards” could be your theme for the

also be pointed out that in respect to the

believe they are good business people. The truth is they

future!!

family members of Juani Mora Alemany,

are not; they are just opportunists who spoil everything

they both gave up their then current jobs

for others and don’t end up benefiting from their treach-

and positions, in order to assist myself and

ery. I don’t know the parties involved but am sure you

the Town Hall.

will come out on top and you have my support should

the future that lies ahead.

Erika Luna Llanos is a very intelligent

you have a need for it.

young woman who is currently working

David. Via email.

Thanks Violet,

within the Councillor for Tourism in the In-

Ssssh…. I’m already looking down and laughing at ‘em

Common sense from you as ever and yes we

formation Office. She is not, as stated earn-

… hehe, thanks David and keep reading! Ed.

have learnt from this…not to trust trolls for

Sansano. Needless to say, I declined the

ing €2400 per month. She earns €1500. All

Submitted on 2011/08/05 at 8:24 pm

Whenever bad things happen to us, it helps to ask “What can I learn from this” Wishing you bigger and better things in

one..! Hehe Ed.

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Fortuna

BATHING

HISTORY This month All Abroad editor and photographer, Dave Bull and Mark Welton jumped on their motorbikes and headed inland where the air is hotter and the beer definitely cooler.

ituated on the outskirts of

years; ok, they’ve restored and

were possibly discussed. These

the main town heading in

put some fresh paint on the

warm water springs in Fortuna

the direction of Yecla a small

walls but the theatre and the old

are famous throughout Spain with

community exists solely because,

projecting machines are still there

the Leana Balneario being its old-

and for, the hot springs that flow

to be seen. Outside you could

est and most endearing.

from its mountainsides.

imagine the place back in the

It’s difficult to write an article

early days of last century as the

In 1860, Juan Cascales Font

about Fortuna without mentioning

original building still stand and it

began some renovations to the

the natural hot baths, so I won’t,

doesn’t take me long to start pic-

semi-abandoned spas whilst

and indeed why would I as locals

turing the noisy, dusty arrival of

constructing a new hotel (which is

and visitors have, for centuries,

weary travellers in their carriages.

still there) and during the Spanish

used and benefited from the

For country lovers, just a little to

Civil War the hotel spa served

mineral springs that remain at an

the south of Fortuna is a large

as a hospital to help wounded

all year round temperature of 36

lake, enclosed in a nature pres-

soldiers. In the 1970’s, Span-

degrees.

ervation area and surrounded by

ish Director, Sainz de Heredia

Nestled in the hills to the north-

woods, which is ideal for walking

filmed ‘Historias de la Television’

east of Murcia about fifteen min-

or fishing but a day out in Fortuna

(The History of Television) where

utes from the A7 motorway and

really shouldn’t be completed

singer, Concha Velazco sung her

near the border of the province,

without a trip to the hot baths.

hit for the first time in the swim-

the town became famous for its

These waters contain several ele-

ming pool ‘Una chica ye ye’ (you

hot springs which were greatly

ments and minerals that are often

must have bought it…)

appreciated by the Romans.

claimed as a cure-all with health

By the 1990’s they realised the

And now, once again, Fortuna is

giving qualities and mysterious

place could be a goldmine… I

becoming an important centre for

powers but whatever it does it is

mean a tourist attraction and

hydrotherapy, beauty treatments

still amazing how mother nature

things really got going with

and other therapies associated

has created environmentally

people visiting Fortuna Balneario

with the natural hot mineral

friendly warm water system,

for its therapeutic and tranquil

water.

which is therapeutic and some-

waters from all over the world.

But today I’m being treated

where thousands of people flock

Many came for its beauty or

myself, not in the baths, but by

to in order to alleviate medical

holistic medical treatments, as

Peter, my guide for the day and a

conditions including, for rheu-

the waters contain rich minerals,

man with a friend in every bar!

matism and breathing disorders

namely iron and salt, or for the

Fortuna is a typical Spanish town,

– I found it especially good for

landscape in which it finds itself,

as yet unexploited, with peaceful

stopping smoking…as it kept go-

which is tranquil but with a wealth

streets and a white church with a

ing out…

of history.

many thriving expat businesses,

A little bit of the history of

The numbers:

and not just the bars that we

Fortuna.

45km to the coast from Fortuna.

‘explored’. Over recent years and

The Romans

San Javier airport is 38km from

with the construction of Urbanisa-

Fortuna was home to a large Ro-

Fortuna; Alicante airport is 60km

tions such as ‘Las Kelendas’ to

man community who made the

away.

the north of the town, foreigners

most of the running hot water

Altorreal Golf Club is 10km the

(and especially Brits) have made

and used natural thermal springs

other side of Murcia.

the move to live in the Spanish

to create their luxury baths.

FORTUNA Spa Baths (Murcia)

‘campo.’

As we know from our history

SPAIN

Because of that this picturesque

classes (yes we do) most Roman

General info

small town boasts a host of

baths and buildings were heated

Population: 6.652

decent restaurants, all offering

via hot furnaces, using burning

Height: 240 metres

something different and of course

wood placed under the floors and

Distance from Murcia: 25 Km

a good selection of busy and ac-

channelling hot air to circulate

tive bars as well as hairdressers,

in open areas which gave them

British supermarket and, although

giving them a controllable heating

I didn’t see one, there’s got to

system. However, in the baths

be an Irish bar there somewhere

to be found in Fortuna, the earth

hasn’t there?

already provided warm and

Pete drove me down to the Leana

therapeutic water so it’s hardly

Teatro Café - next the hotels

surprising that the Romans hung

which date back to 1837 (belong-

around for a few centuries…

ing to the Spanish Cascales family

Bathing was not merely a neces-

and still do to this day) - sitting

sity, it was a social function

on the hills just below where the

mainly for the privileged few and

water flows visitors can see the

a place for social intercourse (I

ancient Roman baths. The place

said ‘social’…), where business,

hasn’t changed in over a hundred

and who to chuck to the lions,

curious tower and is now home to

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Karen Dowsing - Bringing up two kids single handed while building a business into one of the best known on the Costa Blanca cannot be easy...

EXP

‘EVERYTHING UNDER ONE ROOF’ Bringing up two kids single handed while building a business into one of the best known on the Costa Blanca cannot be easy, but Karen Dowsing, of New2You furniture, explains to DB how and why Spain has been a good move for her, in more ways than one. Karen’s Spanish life began in 1981 when she was 18 and living on the Costa Brava having come over to work in a bar during the summer tourist seasons although in the winters, as Karen told me, the town where she was working resembled a ghost town. She returned to the UK for a few years but her love of the life in Spain had not left her and although she maintained contact with friends back in Spain, that wasn’t enough for Karen. She came over for Christmas and New Year with her parents to their new holiday home in Torrevieja with no real plans on staying, but wanted to visit her old friends back on the Costa Brava so on the car journey back to the UK, they stopped off. Having met up with her old friends, Karen was bitten by the Spanish bug (not literally of course) once again and decided to head back to the Costa Brava and the sunshine of Spain. Two more years there saw Karen working five jobs (including kids beach parties, cleaning, ironing and airport transfers) to pay her way and as Karen says, ‘’at this time there wasn’t any British TV so amongst the small expat community, in the quiet winters, we’d all swap old videos for something to watch.’’ In 1988 her parents, Trevor and Shirley moved to Torrevieja to live and Karen would drive down the coast to visit them, eventually deciding to join them on the Costa Blanca and she immediately joined up with them, helping out with their property management business. What the family discovered in the course of their business was that expats wanted to buy houses that Karen and her family had for sale but didn’t always want the furniture. Karen’s pioneering spirit began to kick in as she realised that new arrivals to Spain didn’t necessarily want to spend out on the costly (and let’s face it, usually tasteless) new ‘furniture packs’ that were being offered to home buyers. With the sale of a house Karen and her parents asked for their commission to be the unwanted furniture that the sellers nor the buyers of the property wanted, and that became the stock for the first shop opened in Mar Azul under the name of New2You.

reputation had spread and they could afford to but the premises they had, up to that point, been renting. Seven years later and still going strong Trevor and Shirley had decided they’d had enough of the furniture game and sold their share to Karen which is when New2You really began to take off, as Karen admits, ‘’I like to be in control and once I was on my own I could make decisions and really push the business forward.’’ This was in 1996 and expansion was on the horizon but first Karen had to risk everything by re-mortgaging her house to raise enough money to buy a second shop and by this time she was a single mum raising two young children as well as looking after another shop that she’d rented in Dolores selling lower priced items. With the second shop open, again in the Mar Azul complex and a boom in property sales, which started in 1998, with many Irish people coming to Spain to spend their Irish punts (?) before the oncoming introduction of the euro in the Emerald Isle. As we now know the huge influx of foreigners buying on the Costa over the next seven years (until around 2005) and Karen’s successful business strategy saw New2You continue to grow and in 2004 she opened her third shop in Mar Azul with her parents once again joining forces with her, but this time to sell clothes and soft furnishings under the same roof as New2You What that meant for clients was they could go to New2You and get everything they needed under one roof which, once again, turned out to be innovative and profitable for Karen and co. New2You continued to grow and by February of this year Karen was ready to open her fourth shop at the Sunday Zoco market where she could display the items for sale in air-conditioned comfort for buyers and browsers and also give people an idea of the quality of the used furniture available in all of New2You’s shops. That brings us just about up to date but as I write I hear that Karen is not resting up and taking it easy as later this year she plans to open one of her old shops in Mar Azul and offer punters yet more choice from the huge range available - in June of this year she took on a 420 square metre warehouse to help store some of the stock that she has. Karen still works seven days a week and looks after her two sons, Bradley, 13 and Jake who is sixteen and helping out mum part time in one of the shops and when asked about her plans for New2You in the future Karen tells me she plans to spend the next two years streamlining her business – before no doubt ‘going for it’ again.

For the first year they survived on the money from the

SELECTIVE SELF SERVICE My wife, many moons ago, was in charge of the Self-service restaurant in what was then Pryca, San Juan. (now Carrefour) In those days, it was one of the few places in that area where you could get a cheap(ish) meal, and, of course, so all your shopping in one visit. And it was frequented by, above all, foreigners, not many of whom spoke Spanish (not a lot changes there!) My wife spoke (and speaks) virtually not a word of anything else. But she became adept at doing impressions to indicate the animals whose remains filled the dishes arrayed in front of her customers. She also delights in telling stories of a vegetarian, who thought her vegetarian paella ‘delicious’ – oblivious of the fact that it was cooked in chicken stock. And the Muslim clients who enjoyed their ‘beef’ dishes, quite unaware of their porcine origins. I’ve lived with her for a fair number of years now, however, and I’m still here to tell the tale – in fact, she’s one hell of a fine cook!

property management business and Karen’s wages from also working in a launderette next door to the new furniture shop which allowed the furniture business could grow in that time, meaning they could extend New2You into the now closed launderette. By this time their

XPATLIVES

Yes its Rabbit

WOME WOMEN WOMEN

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANY THING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN THEY’RE PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

It has been determined; the most used sexual position for married couples is doggie position. The husband sits up and begs. The wife rolls over and plays dead… I want to live my next life backwards! You start out dead and get that out of the way right off the bat. Then, you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day. When you are kicked out of the home for being too healthy, you spend several years enjoying your retirement and collecting benefit checks. When you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work 40 years or so, getting younger every day until pretty soon you’re too young to

Getting F.l.T.T. Is Easy

work. So then, you go to high school: play sports, date, drink, and party. As you get even younger, you become a kid again. You go to elementary school, play, and have no responsibilities. In a few years, you become a baby and everyone runs themselves ragged keeping you happy. You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, spalike conditions: central heating, room service on tap. Until finally...You finish off as an orgasm. I rest my case.

Cherie Blair is touring the countryside in a chauffeur-driven car. Suddenly, a cow jumps out into the road, they hit it full on and the car comes to a stop. Cherie, in her usual charming manner, says to the chauffeur: ‘You get out and check you were driving. ‘ The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead. ‘You were driving; go and tell the farmer, ‘says Cherie. Five hours later, the chauffeur returns totally plastered, hair ruffled with

a big grin on his face. My god, what happened to you? ‘asks Cherie. The chauffeur replies: ‘ When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the daughter made love to me. ‘ ‘What on earth did you say? ‘asks Cherie. I knocked on the door, and when it was answered, I said to them: ‘ I’m Cherie Blair’s chauffeur and I’ve just killed the cow.’

If you were around in 1919 and came upon the following poster (on right) I mean, seriously Wouldn’t you just keep drinking?

grant you each a wish.’ The wife answered, ‘Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband the fairy waved her magic wand and poof! - Two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands. The husband thought for a moment: ‘Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me. The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!... the husband became 92 years old. The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female.....

No boobs

40 years of marriage.. A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, ‘For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will

For most people the hardest part of exercising is just getting started. Hectic schedules and lack of time certainly contribute to the excuses. But for many people, lack of basic workout knowledge intimidates them and prevents them from even getting started. With so much information (and misinformation), it can be hard to decipher what fitness regimen will really deliver results. But truthfully, it’s not difficult at all to determine what workout will provide health benefits. An easy way to get started is utilizing the F.I.T.T. principle. This acronym stands for Frequency, Intensity, Time and Type. Frequency: As you might expect, this refers to how often you will exercise. After any form of exercise is performed your body completes a process of rebuilding and repairing. So, determining the frequency of exercise is important in order to find a balance that provides just enough stress for the body to adapt and also allows enough rest time for healing.

Intensity: Defined as the amount of effort or work that must be invested in a specific exercise workout. This too requires a good balance to ensure that the intensity is hard enough to overload the body but not so difficult that it results in overtraining, injury or burnout. Time: Again, this is rather selfexplanatory. Time is simply how long each individual session should last. This will vary based on the intensity and type. Type: What type of exercise will you be doing? Will an exercise session be primarily cardiovascular, resistance training or a combination of both? And, what specific exercises will you perform. Planning a new fitness routine by breaking it into the four F.I.T.T. principle pieces allows you to quickly create a workout plan that will truly provide you with results. For beginner exercisers choosing the Type of exercise may be the best place to start mapping out your routine. After all, if you have the perfect frequency, intensity and time but hate the actual exercise then you’ll never do it. So, start with something you like. This may be walking, biking, swimming or something else. Next determine the Frequency. Consider how much time each week you truly will devote to this workout. Be

realistic. There’s no purpose in setting expectations so high that you likely will fail. Remember, guidelines are 3-5 times per week, so a good start would be three days. If you are very limited in your schedule then determining your Time would be the appropriate next step. Otherwise, choose your Intensity level, which will help determine how long your workout session should be. For example, a higher intensity will typically provide more benefit (such as burning more calories in a shorter amount of time). So, choosing to jog may require only 30 minutes of commitment versus walking which may require 45-60 minutes. That’s all there is to it. Now get out there and get FITT! For more variety and effectiveness with your workouts, seek the support of a trained fitness professional. See my main ad. Richard Draper

Give it up for summer

Which are you?

The Beach Babe – effortlessly glides onto the beach with a towel, hovers somewhere above the sand, laughs and giggles and sips cocktails, occasionally dips in the sea emerging as a Bond girl – or… The Beach Blob – drops towel half a dozen times whilst juggling with factor 50, beach parasol, large inflatable and cool bag, burns where factor 50 is not properly applied, can’t get the parasol in the sand, manages it and then it blows away colliding with Beach Babe and incurring the wrath of her boyfriend. I suspect that for the majority of people reading this, they are more likely to fit into blob than babe category – and if that is the case – why do we do it? Last weekend I lay on the beach listening to the arguments of the family next to me. Were they having a good time? No. Did they go home and leave everyone in peace? No. There is something slightly masochistic about the way we insist on ‘enjoying’ the beach when all it really is, is very

EXPAT KIDS

Growing up overseas affects TCKs both positively and negatively. The good news is that they mature early. The bad news? They struggle in adolescence. Children who have spent a considerable portion of their formative years in foreign cultures are known as third culture kids (TCKs) or global nomads. The term “third culture” refers to the lifestyle of global mobility and intercultural living that is typical of expat children who move overseas because of a parent’s career. Although the combination of the passport (first) culture with the host (second) culture produces a fusion culture that is unique to each child, certain commonalities exist. Moving Abroad in Childhood Leads to a Different Perspective Living overseas affects children profoundly because their worldviews have not yet been formed and consolidated by their experiences (unlike adults, who move abroad with identities and cultural values firmly in place.) Of course, adults grapple with culture shock and

hot, very busy and very, very sandy. So: Five tips for improving your beach experience don’t go if you don’t want to – it’s not a compulsory Costa Blanca experience, if you’d rather stay at home with the aircon on, so be it if you do go, leave it as late as possible. Why go at 1.00 when the sun is at its highest and apply factor 50, spend hours roasting and then just go red in those bits you missed? I recommend five o’clock at the earliest if you do go, take as little as possible. If you go at 5.00 you might not need the parasol at all and inflatables are nothing but a pumping up and letting down experience going in the sea is very refreshing at this time of year but don’t leave it until it’s time to go home and the sun’s going in – wet knickers are not nice buy a snack at the chiringuito – taking your cool bag means money spent at mercadona, preparing sand wiches that nobody eats and having to do the washing up when you get home

WOMEN Alternatively, why not just come to the next Company Women lunch, give the beach a miss and do some gossiping networking instead. HYPERLINK “http://companywomen.org/” http://companywomen.org/

Kids who grow up in a foreign country are now known as: THIRD CULTURE KIDS

must adapt to their new environment, but they do so with an underlying sense of who they are. Children, however, are still in the process of laying the foundation of their personal and cultural identities, making them more open to cultural influences. Many TCKs Don’t Know Where “Home” Is David Pollock and Ruth Van Reken, authors of Third Culture Kids: The Experience of Growing Up Among Worlds, write that “TCKs are raised in a neither/nor world.” They have a sense of belonging to several cultures, but may be incapable of wholly identifying with any single one. As a result, cultural identity is often an issue for them, even as adults. Yet third culture kids are ultimately more than the sum of their cultural parts. They are modern-day alchemists, blending elements of their various “homes” with the nomadic expatriate culture to produce life patterns that differ significantly from those of their monocultural peers. The Positive Side of TCKs: They Mature Earlier The life of a global nomad affects children in many ways.

For example, TCKs tend to mature earlier than those who grow up in a single culture, for a number of reasons: •They are excellent communicators, thanks to a well-honed ability to adapt their conversation styles to the particular needs of each interaction. Having to re-establish themselves socially every time they move means that third culture kids are rarely shy. They also have more opportunities for communicating, since they’re likely to speak multiple languages. •They possess a worldliness that comes from exposure to different cultures, values, traditions, religions, and political systems. Their international experiences translate into a body of knowledge that is both deeper and more wide-ranging than that of typical teenagers. •They’re veteran travellers, and are usually quite capable of navigating airports and train stations without adult assistance. This comfort with solo travel at an early age is often a reflection of a greater sense of independence (although this tends not to be the case with children living in high-risk areas, who are generally afforded less personal freedom.)

WATCH IT FELLAS While the C-5 was turning over its engines, a female crewman gave the G.I.s on board the usual Information regarding seat belts, emergency exits, etc. Finally, she said, ‘Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell, and crew Take you safely to Afghanistan’ An old Master Sergeant sitting

in the eighth row thought to himself, ‘Did I hear her right? Is the captain a woman? ‘ When the attendant came by he said ‘Did I understand you right? Is the captain

a woman?’ ‘Yes,’! Said the attendant, ‘In fact, this entire crew is female.’ ‘My God,’ he said, ‘I wish I had two double scotch and sodas. I don’t know what to think With only women up there in the cockpit.’

‘That’s another thing, Sergeant,’ said the crew member, ‘We No Longer Call It The Cockpit’ ‘It’s The Box Office.’ Quote of the day: ‘Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.’

Five make-up tips/ products to make you look good FAST. For those times when you only have ten minutes to get ready, you’re exhausted and can’t fathom putting a full face of make-up on; these tips can come in very handy. Having suitable products in your make-up kit makes life easier. Less is more; focus on what you have time for and what you can’t leave the house without applying. For me it’s a light base and filling in my brows.

Apply a brightening highlighter to the face. MAC Strobe Cream is an absolute life-saver and staple in my make-up kit. This opalescent highlighting cream instantly gives life to the face, and is packed full of vitamins and goodies to refresh and nourish the skin. I often wear this product on its on own to perk up my skin, but it can also be mixed with foundation to give a beautiful glow with coverage. Focus application on the cheekbones, forehead, down the bridge of the nose, and the cupids bow.

Apply a cream coloured eye liner to the lower, inner rim of the eye. This is a super quick step which will brighten up the eyes instantly. Perfect for those with smaller eyes, this trick will make eyes pop and look bigger. Using a cream liner is a softer option than white, and will help to tone down any redness on the rim of the eye.

Define your brows The eyebrows frame the face, and a quick fill-in with some matte powder on an angle brush will further define them. Most of us can use a little help with our eyebrows. The Jane Iredale brow kit (pictured above) is a great investment and lasts forever. Brush your brows into place with the comb, then use the angle brush and a little powder to fill in any gaps and create beautiful shape, then set with the brow wax on the comb. A two minute job that makes a huge difference.

Add a pop of colour - cheeks and/ or lips The quickest way to brighten up the face is to use colour. Peachy-pink natural tones are brilliant for blush and lipstick; a quick dab of lipstick or gloss and a touch of blush on the apples of the cheeks works wonders when you’re tired. I adore MAC blush in Fleur Power. Bronzer also works well to give warmth and life to the complexion.

Use a corrective under-eye concealer Dabbing on a tiny bit of peach-toned concealer will instantly cancel out blue tones and darkness under the eye, and also brighten the eye area. This is an essential daily step for me, even if I’m not wearing foundation (I apply this with my ring finger and pat it on gently over my Strobe Cream). MAC concealer shades in the NW range have a pinky undertone, or alternatively Bobbi Brown’s special corrective concealer range is specially designed for this purpose.

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€

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“Agents for Golden Leaves Pre Paid Funeral Plans”

FUNERAL PLANNING EXPERTS “We provide 24 hour funeral assistance”

email - info@sosinsuranceinspaain.com web - www.sosinsuranceinspain.com

A funeral parlour (tanatorio) will be contacted to remove the body (identification must accompany the body in order for it to be moved). 4.Register the death within 24 hours at the Civil Registry (Registro Civil) which is located in the local Town Hall, However, this is normally carried out by the Tanatorio. 5.In most regions of Spain a body should be buried or cremated within 24 to 48 hours of death. Hopefully the above will be of use to you, however it is important to remember that it is the police or the Doctor who will appoint the Funeral Director. In Spain there is no legislation over price capping, or service standards and the price of a funeral can vary greatly depending upon the Funeral Director that has been appointed. There will be additional charges for additional mortuary days required (standard is 2 days), charges for a Minister, Service, type of coffin or urn chosen and more. Payment is also required within 24 hours of the death, certainly before the funeral will take place. Once you inform the Bank, that there has been a death, half of the bank account (if a joint account), will be frozen for tax reasons. Always ask the Funeral Director for clarification of costs and if you need cheaper options, then ask for this! In order to avoid having to make the arrangements yourself, many choose to take out pre paid funeral plans. But which plan to choose? When Choosing a plan, if you follow these basic principles and do your homework on the Company which you choose, then you can rest assured that the plan will be available for your loved ones at the time of need. Do research –. Ensure the company that you choose have been trading for many years in Spain. This will give you the confidence that they are established and their plans work. Talk to friends and family who have plans, look the companies up on the internet. Terms and Conditions – Ask to see these and read them. Check that there is nothing additional to pay at the time of death. IVA (18%) is currently charged at the time of death with some Companies. Ask the question! “Do you charge IVA at the time of death”? Securities – The best way to secure your money for the future is for it to be placed in a totally independently managed Trust Fund, which will be based in the UK. Payments that are secured in bank accounts in Spain, can be accessed by individuals of the Company involved and are therefore not 100% safe. Make sure that your policy has dual cover, which covers you in the UK and Spain. Finally, look at the option also of Funeral Insurance. Insurance does have restrictions in terms of pre existing health conditions, age, dual cover etc, but for many of us, it is an alternative if we are financially unable to pay for a funeral plan. If you would like further advice or information for either Pre Paid Plans or Funeral Insurance, then call

SOS Insurance – 966787123 / 62275561 http://www.sosinsuranceinspain.comwww. sosinsuranceinspain.com who are in the unique position of offering both options and can provide you with different alternatives.

PROPER TY OF T HE MON TH

September Offers SALE! Homes in Spain

LA MARIN LOOK! IN A CLUSIVE Ref 463 O 4 Bed, 2 Bath, det F ALL COSTS. SU villa, poo P l, great p ER €199,800 rice, NOTHING INCLUSIVE!

La Marina La Marina

La Marina

MORE TO

PAY.

El Oasis Ref:568 €97,500

Ref:560 €41,750

1 Bed, 1 Bath Terrace bungalow, West facing, Aircon, Furnished, Perfect holiday home

Dolores

3 Beds, 1 Bath, quad style property, Com pool, Solarium Furnished, White goods inc, Larger than average plot

La Marina

Ref:475 €119,500

2 Bed, 1 Bath, Det villa, Large plot 200m2, Close to amenities, Outside self contained annex

Ref:537 €129,850

Albatera

La Marina

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Ref:530 €270,000

3 Bed, 2 Bath, Det villa, Pool, South facing, 2100m2 plot, fabulous condition

3 Beds, 2 Baths, Det villa. Ex cond, furnished, Solarium, Com pool, Very good condition

Ref:538

€59,000

1 Bed, 1 Bath, Terr Bungalow, South facing, furnished, Good cond. Very close to all amenities. Perfect 1st time buy

Ref:542

€198,000

5 Bed, 2 Bath Finca, 2500m2 plot, Games room, sep summer kitchen, Bar. Ex condition.

La Marina Catral

Ref:549

La Hoya

€159,500

2 Bed, 2 Bath, Det villa, 220m2 plot, Ex condition, Cotogran finish, Central heating. Beautiful property

El Oasis Ref:527 €74,000

Ref:516 €196,000

3 Bed, 2 Bath Det villa, Pool, South east facing, 200m2 plot, Fireplace in lounge, fitted wardrobes, fabulous villa.

2 Bed, 1 Bath Bungalow, Com pool, white goods included ,Furnished, would make a lovely first time holiday home.

Ref:371 €65,000

2 Bed 1 Bath, Delightful Log cabin on a 800m2 plot. Beach 10 mins drive away. Could be your little sanctuary! Great price

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Ref 515 €69,500

GREAT, 2 Bed, 1 Bath quad, com pool, Furnished, small front garden, quiet location, and a GREAT! price.

SPAIN REDUCES PURCHASE TAX ON NEW PROPERTY IN SPAIN

125€ MILLION FOR A HOUSE! e moat…! …and it’s only got on

Some seemingly very

Ultimately I think it will have a positive

good news for those

effect for resale’s (individuals selling their

looking to buy a prop-

homes).

erty

José

customers come over to Spain with a

Blanco, Development Minister for Spain

specific remit of buying a new or resale

has announced that with immediate ef-

property. They come over with a particu-

world has just been sold by its Brit owner

fect the purchase tax (IVA) on the sale of

lar budget and a set of requirements, i.e.

but it still stays in British hands although

all new Spanish properties will be reduced

near the beach, three bedrooms etc. etc.

the new owner wishes to remain anony-

from 8% to 4%.

If you consider Spain as the shop and the

mous (I can confirm it’s not me…)

This initiative will be applicable only for

tax reduction initiative as a promotion to

The house, grandly named Sa Fortalessa

the sale of new properties signed for at

bring more people to the shop. The net

de Pollença, sits on a nice little patch

the notary before the end of this year

result is more houses are sold, both new

of 87,000 square metres of estate and

(2011).

and resale.

An attempt has been made by the Span-

Some areas have very few new properties

boasts a castle, seven residencies, pri-

ish government to boost a Spanish prop-

vs. resales and some vice versa. There is

erty market that is massively important

a market for both types and importantly

to the overall Spanish economy.

every new completed property sold is one

An example Spanish property sale price

less home competing against an individu-

Spain

Very few of our international

of €200,000 means the

al resale. Resales ac-

instead

four months of the year and the incentive to run it

expected/hoped

vate beaches and a forest. If you fancy a look it’s found in the Pollença bay on Mallorca, but be warned as its protected by Cape Formentor and a military base, not bad security eh? That’s security which has been enjoyed over the years by many heads of state and top

now have to pay

the properties we sell and we don’t expect

dignitaries who enjoy the privacy and it

that to change any-

was also very popular with artists and

time soon.

intellectuals from across Europe in the

chase tax instead

Is this really just to

20’s.

of ‘€16,000’

help the banks out

The seller, British owner John Ogden, has

who seem to own so

sold the property to a Spanish company

€16,000. With still over

one of the most exclusive in the

count for over half of

pay just €8,000 in purtax

pain’s most costly casa and definitely

‘...the buyer will

buyer will now have to chase

just €8,000 in pur-

that this financial carrot will be enough move

many of the proper-

the many would be buy-

ties now?

whose biggest shareholder is another Briton. The amount of cash involved is a

ers off the side lines and into the Spanish

I am sure it will help the banks a little

property market.

and if they can turn some of their pa-

We asked Paul Payne, Sales & Marketing

per assets in to cash and thereby be on

Director from MASA International what he

a stronger footing, I think everyone will

thought of tax reduction.

benefit in long run. It is in all our interest

According to one source the estate went

What difference will it make?

that Spain’s banks improve their position.

for 125 million€, which is a good invest-

Halving the tax for the purchase of new

Further downgrades will ultimately mean

ment considering the 45,000 pesetas

homes is certainly not a silver bullet for

higher borrowing costs, and we don’t

paid in 1919 by the Argentinean painter,

still the very tough property market in

want that!

Roberto Ramaugé.

Spain, but we expect it will attract a rea-

Unfortunately for the banks the sad re-

sonable number of foreign buyers to act

ality is the stock they hold is not gener-

now.

The news has been well received

ally what today’s buyers are looking for.

by the international media and judging

Also, if a bank has repossessed some new

by the increase in enquiries we have re-

properties from a builder, in most cases

ceived since the announcement it appears

they also became the new owners. These

to have also generated more new interest

properties would be treated as resales

in the market as a whole.

and therefore subject to 7% tax. So I see

As the tax reduction only applies to new

the positive effect on the banks and their

properties, how do you see it affecting the

unsold stock will not be as great as one

resale market?

might first think.

Gran Alacant TOURIST TRAIN Use your ticket & get

big secret as well as the new owner but the deal was confirmed by lawyers in Palma.

Sa Fortalessa de Pollença,

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main menu at DESTINATIONS & FUMARELLA (Avda Escandinavia)

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Ref: 119 Mediterraneo III

Price Reduced! Fantastic semidetached cornner house in very good condition with 2 bedrooms, dining room, independent kitchen, gallery, 2 bathrooms, 1 toilet & terrace. Communal swimming pool. Close to amentities & services.

PVP: 165.000€

Duplex with 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, 1 toilet, terrace & garden. Private complex with swimming pool, tennis court & green areas. Close to services & amenities. Very good condition..

PVP: 160.000€

PVP: 162.500€

Price Reduced!

PVP: 207.000€ Ref: GA 165 Novamar

Price Reduced!

Opportunity!

Apartment on ground floor with 2 bedrooms,gallery. terrace & garden. Communal swimming pool, tennis court & green areas. Close to beach & services.

PVP: 145.000€

175. Ref: GA 46 Novamar

Duplex with 3 bedrooms, dining room, open kitchen, 2 bathrooms, patio and storage room. Private complex with swimming pool and green areas.

PVP: 189.000€

Ref: GA 33

Novamar

Top floor apartment with 2 bedrooms, dining room, independent kitchen, 2 bathrooms, galery, solarium of 60m2 and garage.Private complex close to services and amenities.

PVP: 145.000€

D? all BORED? all BORED? all BORED? all BORED?

Answers at bottom 1. My first is in tea but not in leaf. My second is in teapot and also in teeth. My third is in caddy but not in cosy. My fourth is in cup but not in rosy. My fifth is in herbal and also in health. My sixth is in peppermint and always in wealth. My last is in drink so what can I be?

1. Sitter’s headache 5. Profound 9. Spanish mistress 14. Baby ___ 15. Old Icelandic literary work 16. Off __ (periodically) 17. “Aha!” 18. Take __ (swim) 19. Don’t mind __ (yes) 20. 1951 Bogart/Hepburn Oscar winner 23. Director Sidney 24. Part of E.U.: Abbr. 25. Skewer 28. Beautiful Girl author, Elisabeth 32. Linguist Chomsky 33. Harder to find 35. Citrus drink 36. Box that debutted in 1951 40. Wave in Juarez 41. “Either it goes __ (ultimatum) 42. __-sci 43. Polynesian painter 45. Hunt in France 47. Classic British sports car 48. Org. 50. 1951 novel that introduced Holden Caulfield (with “The”) 57. Big dos 58. Martian prefix 59. “African Queen”, for example 60. __ imports (home furnishings chain) 61. End for a gang or mob 62. “___ Karenina” 63. Pharaoh’s land 64. Peruse carefully 65. Poverty’s wardrobe

Down

1. Londoner, e.g. 2. Charge 3. Suit to __ 4. Site of Bowie’s last stand 5. Worrywart’s words 6. Dog on “Frasier” 7. Decree 8. Nickname of author who penned “The Old Man and the Sea” (1951) 9. Rum cocktail 10. Show off a flag 11. Falco of “The Sopranos” 12. Connecting point 13. Soon, old style 21. Common suffix 22. Israeli desert 25. Umknown, abbrev. 26. Dough 27. Island nation in the Pacific 28. Biscuit that turned 39 in 1951 29. Some Sony products 30. They’re adored 31. __ Meenie (Bieber song) 33. Bridle part 34. Math subj. 37. Lives 38. Extended family 39. It may be under your thumb 44. Big car mfg. 45. 7-Eleven, e.g., briefly 46. Sound of surprise 48. __-ground missile 49. Curl one’s lip 50. Superhero accessory 51. Not worth ____ (valueless) 52. Deuce topper 53. Coarse file 54. Gossip columnisy Barrett 55. Yin’s opposite 56. Flight data, briefl

Across

1. Hmm... a film studio 4. Slate-colored bird 9. Western brewer 14. He beat Joe and lost to Leon 15. Cookwear? 16. Gumbo ingredients 17. It’s not for naysayers 18. Whooping, for instance 19. Great 20. Capital of Mali 22. Be busy as a beaver? 24. Moslem leader 25. __, amas, amat 27. Hmm... a rapper 31. Rowboat 33. Samovar 34. Outer prefix 35. Corroded 38. Resonated 40. Hews 41. Em, not ‘M’ 44. Bird lover’s offering 45. Flightless South American bird 46. Indistinct 47. __ Wan (Star Wars sage) 48. Call for help 49. Where the stitches are 51. Hmm... a candy 53. Make do 54. Chances 58. Give way 60. Worship 62. A chaperone, probably 65. Inspect, in a way 67. Neither partner 68. Fergie, really 69. More slippery 70. Debtor’s letters 71. Like a lobster 72. Plow inventer 73. Hmm... a business model

Down

1. Noncommittal response 2. Make like a star 3. East coast city 4. Trunk item 5. Disturbance 6. Armed grp.? 7. Yuppie abode, perhaps 8. Draftable 9. It has rows 10. Giraffe’s relative 11. Former Boston Bruin, Bobby 12. Speakeasy tune, possibly 13. Comp. pt. 21. Intense 23. Come together 26. Aromatic resins (fit for a king?) 28. Link 29. Put out 30. Saunter 32. North of NY 33. Be a spoil sport at a costume party 35. __ Downs (Derby location) 36. Part of the Dutch West Indies 37. Associate 39. Manipulate 40. Sci-fi writer, Isaac 42. Jagged 43. Koop’s grp. 48. Where to find a forge 50. Stranger 52. Originally Zimmerman 53. Draw out 55. Ubiquitous fabric 56. The very young or very old may do this 57. Plasma 59. Like a cornerstone 61. French 101 verb 62. Biblical transport 63. Skip stones over water 64. Flimflam psychic, Geller 66. Pass on

2. Petri-fying? A Petri dish hosts a healthy colony of bacteria. Once a minute every bacterium divides into two. The colony was founded by a single cell at noon. At exactly 12:43 (43 minutes later) the Petri dish was half full. At what time will the dish be full? 3. A Ping-Pong Ball in a Hole Your last good ping-pong ball fell down into a narrow metal pipe imbedded in concrete one foot deep. How can you get it out undamaged, if all the tools you have are your tennis paddle, your shoelaces, and your plastic water bottle, which does not fit into the pipe? 4. Bags and Beads You are given 5 bags. There are 10 beads in each of the bags. In four of the bags, the beads each weigh 10 grams. In the remaining bag, each bead weighs only 9 grams. All the bags and beads look identical. You must find out which bag has the lighter beads. The problem is that all the bags look identical and all the beads look identical. You can use a scale, but it has to be a single-tray scale, not a two-tray balance scale. Also, you may use the scale only once. How can you find out which bag has the lighter beads? 5. If a band plays music in a thunderstorm, who is most likely to get hit by lightning? Answers: 1. teacher 2. Petri-fying – solution: The dish will be full at 12:44 3. Ball in a Hole - solution All you have to do is pour some water into the pipe so that the ball swims up on the surface. 4. Label the bags from 1 to 5. Take 1 bead out of Bag 1, and label it 1. Take 2 beads out of Bag 2, and label them both with a 2. Take 3 beads out of Bag 3, and label each with a 3. Continue this pattern with Bags 4 and 5. Put these 15 beads on the tray of the scale. If all 15 weighed 10 grams, the scale would register 150 grams. But since one or more of the beads weighs only 9 grams, the scale will register less than 150. Subtract the number on the scale from 150. Your answer will tell you the number of the bag with the lighter beads. (If the scale registers 148, it’s bag #2. If the scale registers 145, it’s bag #5.) 5. The conductor

Across

Word riddle

RED? all BORED? all BORED? all BORED? all BORED? all

all BORED? all BORED? all BORED? all BO

BORED? all BORED? all BORED? all BORE 28

Beware of FREE imitations

the best ad prices- TEL. 606 540 408

ADVICE INFOTIPS NEWS Many owners who let their Spanish property, seem blissfully unaware that they are subject to Spanish Income Tax on their rental income. This applies to both residents and non-residents. Resident Landlords The Spanish tax man has sweetened the rental package recently by introducing a reduction of 50% in rental income for tax purposes, however this unfortunately applies only to official residents of Spain, It is designed to stimulate the rental

GEORGIE MAY 2012 charity calendar

Tax on rental contracts

market. Resident landlords can deduct almost every expense imaginable from their rental income, meaning that most landlords will pay little or nothing in income tax. Non-resident landlords Non-residents are allowed no deductions and must declare their rental income on a special form 210. Identification of the landlord Tenants who make tax declarations in Spain are now required to list their landlord`s name and tax number on their income tax

declaration along with the Catastral reference of the property they rent. Although many owners rent out their flats and do not declare the income, this requirement to identify the landlord has already produced tens of thousands of new tax declarations in its first years. For more information or a free consultation on rental contracts in Spain please contact one of our members info’ supplied by: www. perezlegalgroup.es

In aid of PAUL CUNNINGHAM NURSES and EASY HORSE CARE RESCUE CENTRE

he calendar as stated is for the year 2012 and is going out to print late 2011

in order to sell before the holiday season, to gain the sponsor the up most exposure and gain the highest amount for the charities in

The International Lifestyle & Expofiesta 2011 Exhibition

question. The calendar shall be distributed by the charities themselves, as well as bars, restaurants and shops.

4th 5th & 6th November 2011

the Spanish ExpoFiesta exhibition, over

As it Sizzles with Fiestas on the Costa

100 stands with an exceptional varia-

The Paul Cunningham nurses charity shall be

Blanca this summer SOL Productions

tion of companies have already booked,

distributing various calendars in their own

and the IFA are keeping the fiestas go-

it’s going to be fun for everyone,

charity shops and their events and the easy

ing through to November, keeping the

and the best day out this year, with

horse care shall do the same.

Costa’s buzzing with The International

FREE ENTRY to the general public and

Lifestyle & Expofiesta 2011 Exhibition.

coaches available both in the north and

Stand bookings are being taken at an

south, this is one event not to missed.

incredible rate supported by our main

Calling all businesses that want the op-

sponsors White Knight Glass Curtains.

portunity to promote their products and

The event of the year promises to

services in the best showcase environ-

keep the Buzz and regeneration of the

ment of the Lifestyle, Tourism and Ex-

Costa’s alive, and is being fully sup-

poFiesta Exhibitions at the IFA Centre

ported by All Abroad!

next to Alicante airport. Contact SOL

Good news for the businesses and also

Productions on 966 761 050 or email

our International residence with some-

pr@solproductions.tv to reserve you

thing positive to look forward to. This is

stand. Check out the FiestaTime Face-

no ordinary exhibition as we are fusing

book for exhibitors booked so far. More

the Lifestyle products and services and

information is on www.solproductions.

The calendar sizes is A3 and are being put

Tourism features with

tv so keep up to date with the event of

together by specialist designers of whom are

the year and be part of regenerating

making sure the calendar is finished to the

life on the Costa Blanca.

highest standards.

Put the dates in your diary now Novem-

All of the funds from the calendars will go to

ber 4th 5th and 6th at the IFA, Alican-

the charities in question.

Also due to the amount of calendars to be printed they are also to be distributed in parts of the UK, again gaining the sponsor the up most exposure. The sponsor shall receive full publicity, with logos on and in the calendars themselves, logos on promotional posters and sales posters alike. Newspaper and internet mentions and full press coverage, as well as Spanish and English television companies on the costa covering the calendars progress. Sponsorship is a fee of 90euros for the complete package.

te. SOL Productions and All Abroad look forward to seeing you there....The only

To read more information about Georgie

place to be!

May please feel free to visit her Facebook fan or if you are interested please email:

And remember it’s FREE ENTRY to

carrie-marrie@hotmail.com

the general public on all 3 days!

mailto:carrie-marrie@hotmail.com.

WHY PAY MORE?

the best ad prices- TEL. 606 540 408

NO HIDDEN EXTRAS

THE PRICE WE QUOTE IS THE PRICE YOU PAY xtrarentacar@xtra-car-hire.com

CALL PAUL

THERE IS ONLY ONE NAME IN SANTA POLA

Talleres PEREZ JUAN

NEW AND SECOND HAND VEHICLES, REPAIRS, SERVICING AND BODY WORK Talleres Perez Juan S.L Ctra Elche 10 - Santa Pola. Telephone 96 541 5921 or 96 541 3746 30

BE ORIGINAL - we NEVER copy!

ADVICE INFOTIPS NEWS Smart Cards for all citizens by Keith Nicol

CAN I DRIVE IN FLIP-FLOPS? It is now an offence to drive with flip flops or thong sandals for safety reasons. You can wear sandals but they have to have a strap around

TORREVIEJA’S SMART CARDS have been one

Most importantly, be aware that Transportation Cards

the heel. It is also now

of the main items of discussion in the city during

previously issued shall cease to operate on Septem-

an offence to drive top-

August. The main consensus being that the cards

ber 16, 2011 and not September 1, as previously

less. This also applies

may be smart, but those that devised the application

noted! If you want a new or replacement card the first

scheme certainly are not! The application scheme has

thing you should do is to jot down the account number

to men as well though.

changed on an almost daily basis, but as we went to

below, go to the CAM Bank, pay €35.00 and put your

press, this is the most recent!

receipt in a safe place to show at the Transportation office. Although there have been rumours of lines

Since the cards were first announced the hours that

around the block and people queuing from 4.00am, for

the office is open for applications has changed three

the most part, it’s just sensationalism. A line starts to

times and they are now open from 0815 until 2015!

form at around 0700-hrs at the Old Town Hall, where

Secondly, apparently those who have managed to get

the cards are issued, and you need to be in that line

on the Padron without actually having an NIE number

prior to 0800-hrs, when the doors open and numbers

can still apply, although it’s being questioned how

are distributed.

people can be residents of Spain without having an

the Guardia just need to park up on the exit from any Playa and they’ll have a field day.

EUROPE RULES! Some of the strange laws around Europe England It is illegal for a lady

NIE! If you are one of those, be aware that these are

At 0815, those with numbers are called into the of-

smart cards and if you are found out not to be a 'real'

fices, show their proof of residence, or old Transpor-

to eat chocolates on a

resident, they can be turned off!

tation card along with handing over their CAM Bank

public convenience.

Receipt for €35, have their picture taken and depart

Finland

You no longer need to have your padron updated as

with a card that’s good for 12-months of free transport

Taxi drivers must pay

they have the computer installed in the office now,

on Torrevieja’s bus network.

royalties if they play

just bring your old card or NIE information, residence

music in their cars for

paper and passport, with you. More questions were

Location: Old City Hall - Department of Transport

paying customers.

raised as to why would the Town Hall start the scheme

Offices

while tourists are in town, in the height of the tourist

Hours: NEW HOURS! 0815 to 2015-hrs

Scotland

season, when the Town Hall are complaining that the

Requirements: To be registered in Torrevieja and have

tourists are the ones abusing the system! Wouldn’t it

no debts with the local administration.

have been more beneficial to wait until 300,000 tour-

Price: €35 (valid for one year). Senior Citizens do

ists had returned home from their holidays, making

have to pay the €35 but if they qualify, they will receive

it much more difficult to apply for the card in the first

a refund at the end of the year.

place!

Required Documentation: DNI, NIE or Passport (original)

It is illegal to be drunk while in possession of a cow. France It is illegal to kiss on railways in France. No pig may be addressed as Napoleon by

First the disclaimer, in that by the time you read this,

Proof of payment of €35 into the CAM account num-

something else may have changed. However, as we

ber 2090 7150 55 0200168516

go to press, for those legal citizens of Torrevieja, that

This card is also valid for access to the CMO (City

are on the Padron and legally live in the city for at

Centre Leisure or Macrodiscoteca), and will gradually

No one may start a car

least six months of the year, this is how you should go

be adding other services such as access to museums.

while someone is un-

about getting your smart card for free bus transporta-

It’s not necessary to renew your card before Septem-

derneath the vehicle.

tion in Torrevieja.

ber 1. The application or renewal of the card can be

its owner. Denmark

done anytime. There is not a minimum time requireThe Transport Officer of the Municipality of Torrevieja,

ment of being on the Padron, you just have to be

Antonio Boix, expressed his satisfaction at the positive

registered at the time of requesting the card. However,

reception that the new Citizen Card has received in

if you register as resident in another town, the card will

exchange for the old urban public transport. He said

be cancelled when it detects that you're not registered

“In just a week since we began issuing cards, the De-

on Torrevieja Municipal Padron. That’s why it’s a smart

partment of Transportation has already delivered more

card!

than 1,000.” Antonio Boix wanted to pass on message

To get the card, it requires the physical presence of

to all citizens registered in Torrevieja, who “will be

the applicant, due to the need to take a picture that

able to have your Citizen Card without any problems

identifies you, so you can’t apply for your partner, fam-

because the dispatch will continue indefinitely.”

ily or friends.

the best ad prices- TEL. 606 540 408

A Day on Tabarca

with Dive Academy Santa Pola One of the things quite often said about Gran Alacant is that there is nothing to do other than beach, bars and restaurants. So before my sporty brother Tom arrived from the UK for a week I decided to do a bit of research and find an active day that we could all do including my 8 year old daughter Kyla. I came across Dive Academy Santa Pola via google, rang them up and booked on a Snorkel Safari to Tabarca Marine reserve. Damon the owner lives in Gran Alacant and was happy to pick us up on route to the Dive Centre 10 minutes away in Santa Pola. We were teamed up with a mixed group of English and Dutch families and after putting on our wetsuits (mostly back to front) fins and masks (scuba divers frown on them being called flippers and goggles apparently) and headed off to the island on the taxi speedboat. After arriving on Tabarca, Jake our ‘divemaster’ gave us a quick brief on how to put the gear on correctly, safety procedures and marine life we were likely to see. The first site we visited was called the black skull a small rock island about 100 meters from shore. Initially the water is only 1 to 2 meters deep which was great for the kids to gain confidence and the wetsuits actually helped them float. As soon as your mask breaks the surface you can see literally thousands of fish much to the kids and big kids delight. Around the back of the black skull the water is a little bit deeper and the more adventurous amongst us were ‘duck diving’ to the octopus holes Jake expertly spotted. After a quick break we headed to another site and went in the limestone caves, I was a little apprehensive about this at first but the caves turned out to be breathtaking and not at all claustrophobic. Again the marine life was spectacular and the water as clear as a swimming pool. We headed back on the boat about 2pm with a boat load of smiley, tired kids and adults alike. It was a great day rounded of nicely with a cold drink in Marina Miramar.

Dive Academy runs Snorkel Safaris on Tues, Thurs and Saturdays. Tel 965 414 510 or 648 463 310 32

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ocal stuff... FIESTAS IN SPAIN

some of the biggest fiestas around the country are coming up...but when? and where? September

October

Jerez de la Frontera celebrates its wine

After all the activities of the summer

harvest with the Jerez sherry festival

months things tend to calm down this

which begins on the first Saturday of

month. The biggest event this month is

September every year. Known locally

in Zaragoza when the Pilar Festival cele-

as the Fiestas de Otoño, this is a three

brates the appearance of the Virgin Mary

week party involving sherry, horses and

to St James. The event coincides with

flamenco.

Hispanidad, a nationwide fiesta commemorating Columbus’s landing in the

Also during the first week of September

Americas.

is the Feria Goyesca de Pedro Romero in Ronda where all the townsfolk and

November

the matadors at the weekend bullfight

The month begins with the sombre oc-

are dressed in typical 18th century cos-

casion of All Saints Day (Todos Los San-

tumes.

tos) when Spanish people from all over

Lifestyle Expo Fiesta 2011 IFA Centre in Alicante November 4th, 5th and 6th. This is the first time that the Lifestyle Expo is being staged alongside the extremely popular Expo Fiesta and Tourism and Culture Ex-

the country return to their birthplaces

hibitions, which last year attracted more than

Catalunya celebrates Cava week, a festi-

to remember their deceased relatives.

30,000 people from all over the region.

val dedicated to the fine Catalan version

There are various film festivals during

of champagne whilst Barcelona city cel-

the month and an alcohol fuelled Fiesta FREE entry is being offered to the general pubthanks lic. There will also be coaches available to take del Orujo in Cantabria which is a great Ken visitors from all over the Costa Blanca to the place party with the locals.

ebrates the Festes de la Merce, a huge fiesta with processions, fireworks and dance performances. In Sueca, Valencia there is a Fiesta del Arroz which is basically a paella festival whilst in Logroño, the centre of the Rioja wine region, it’s the Fiesta de San Mateo

centre in Alicante.

For more information and to book a stand, please call 966 761 050 or email PR@solproductions.tv. You can also visit their dedicated Facebook site, Fiesta Time or tweet them at their Twitter site @lifestyleexpo11

which is yet another grape harvest fes-

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GRAN ALACANT, OPP’ DOCTORS SURGERY 34

Course 5 Minute Management Lesson 1:

A priest offered a Nun a lift. forcing her gown to reveal a leg. She got in and crossed her legs, ent. The priest nearly had an accid slid his hand up her leg... After controlling the car, he stealthily Psalm 129?’ The nun said, ‘Father, remember changing gears, he let his hand The priest removed his hand. But, again said, ‘Father, rememonce nun slide up her leg again. The ber Psalm 129?’ r but the flesh is weak.’ The priest apologized ‘Sorry siste ed heavily and went on her Arriving at the convent, the nun sigh way. t rushed to look up Psalm On his arrival at the church, the pries further up, you will find glory.’ 129. It said, ‘Go forth and seek, Moral of the story: job, you might miss a great If you are not well informed in your opportunity.

Dear Sir, On holiday recently in Spain I saw a sign that said ‘English speaking Doctor’ - I thought, ‘What a good idea, why don’t we have them in our country?’ Mike.

5 Minute Manag ement Course Lesson 2:

A sales rep, an adminis tration clerk, and the ma nager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, ‘I’ll give each of you just one wish.’ ‘Me first! Me first!’ say s the admin clerk... ‘I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a spe edboat, without a care in the world.’ Poof! She’s gone. ‘Me next! Me next!’ say s the sales rep. ‘I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masse use, an endless supply of Pina Coladas, and the love of my life .’ Poof! He’s gone. ‘OK, you’re up,’ the Ge nie says to the manag er. The manager says, ‘I want those two back in the office after lunch.’ Moral of the story: Always let your boss hav e the first say.

Some sod’s just pinched a pair of my wife's knickers off the washing line. She's not bothered about the knickers but she wants the 12 pegs back. Breaking News: The UN has said that if they capture Gaddafi they will put him where he can do no harm to anyone - up front for Sheffield United

‘please send clothes for all those poor ladies on... granddad's computer. Amen!’

‘aving a laugh...?! Now he’s dead, they’re making a film

HOW? & WH Y?

5 Minute Management Course Lesson 3

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, ‘Can I also sit like you and do nothing?’ The eagle answered: ‘Sure, why not.’ So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

of Eddie Stobart’s life story. I’ve just seen the trailer.

Dear Phil Course I left home for work last week and anagement M e t u in M 5 after less than a mile my car able to get stalled and wouldn’t start. Lesson 4 would love to be ing with a bull. ‘I att ch s got the wa y n’t ke ve A tur key, ‘but I ha I walked back to my house and found tree’ sighed the tur to the top of that my husband in bed with our 19 year d energy.’ droppings?’ replie ble on some of my nib u yo n’t do old babysitter. y ‘Well, wh nutrients.’ lly gave the bull. It’s full of They announced that the affair had , and found it actua at a lump of dung ed e. tre the of e turkey peck h Th nc lowest bra been going on for two years. gth to reach the the ed ch rea him enough stren he , ng re du Can you help me.I’m desperate. er eating some mo The next day, aft Dear Reader The most common cause of vehicles breaking down in the first mile is dirt in the fuel lines. Hope this helps. Phil.

rched at the second branch... y was proudly pe rth night, the turke Finally after a fou t of the top of the tree. r, who shot him ou otted by a farme sp tly mp pro s He wa tree. ry: .. Moral of the sto n’t keep you there. the top, but it wo to u yo t ge t gh Bull S**t mi

5 Minute Management Course Lesson 5

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him. Moral of the story: (1) Not everyone who s***s on you is your enemy. (2) Not everyone who gets you out of s**t is your friend. (3) And when you’re in deep s**t, it’s best to keep your mouth shut! Open: 12pm- late (Closed Tuesdays)

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Translation and Interpretation

URGENT MORTGAGESActivities MONEY EXPRESS Advice and support during visits to the doctor, the police station and official bodies or entities such as the town hall, etc… - Document Translation: Spanish, German, French, English and Netherlands

We may have reached adulthood withou ing done everything we would have liked Who has not ever wanted to travel? Or take that little vacation which you mi for different reasons? From now on it’s time to do all that befo could not. Periodically we organise cultural trips. A do not worry about your limited mobility have adapted means of transport for pe with mobility difficulties and we will be a at your disposal.

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BUSINESS DIRECTORY AIR CONDITIONING MAYO Gran Alacant Tel 665 063 228 REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel 670 260 684

BOOKS CARDS & MORE La Marina Tel. 96 679 0954 LA MARINA ANIMAL WELFARE La Marina Tel 96 679 5593 ALTOMAR FINE FINISHING Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 9353 CANDELA CHIMNEYS Elche Tel. 649 039 351 CLIVE COOMBER Gran Alacant Tel 669 593 212 MAYO Gran Alacant Tel 665 063 228

BUILDING / MAINTENANCE REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel: 96 541 4040 CHRIS SLADDEN All Areas Tel. 686 635 860

BUSINESS ASSOCIATIONS TIBA All Areas Tel. 902 906 015

CAR HIRE XTRA RENT A CAR Santa Pola Tel 619 726 480

CARPENTRY MAYO Gran Alacant Tel 665 063 228 REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel 670 260 684

CAR REPAIRS RENAULT Santa Pola Tel 96 541 3746 PERFORMANCE & DIESEL Guardamar Tel. 96 610 7606

CAR SALES

LA MARINA

FURNITURE

Second Hand Furniture

RENAULT Santa Pola Tel 96 541 3746 CLUB CARS La Marina Tel. 616 640 432

CAR TRANSFERS

MARTÍNEZ Y BALLESTER Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 8781

COMPUTERS BLUE MOON SOLUTIONS All Areas Tel. 655 044 970 SPANISH INKS All Areas www.spanishink.com

CONVEYANCING ANDREA BURNS Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 7824 MARTÍNEZ -BALLESTER RABESMA Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 8781

BEST PRICES PAID

DENTAL

GOLD

DIVING

Part exchange avaliable & Costume Jewellry Bought & Sold

BRITISH DENTAL PRACTICE La Marina Tel 96 679 6603 DENTURES DIRECT Gran alacant Tel. 619 185 122 SANTA POLA DIVE ACADEMY Santa Pola Tel. 96 541 4510 ELECTRICIANS/ELECTRONIC

CCW ELECTRICAL Gran Alacant Tel 617 872 405 ELECTRICIAN All Areas Tel. 644 115 143 EURONICS Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 5365 REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel: 96 541 4040 ENTERTAINMENT

FLAMENCO - LOS LUNARES Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 5399

ESTATE AGENTS

WE COLLECT

Call: 96 644 3370 - 625 985 491 La Marina Village

AT HOME Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 5289 CARABASI CASAS Gran Alacant Tel.96 669 8301 IPG La Marina Tel. 96 679 5233 MASA INTERNATIONAL Gran Alacant Tel. 629 251 747 TOP ALACANT Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 7357

ESTATE AGENTS cont... VICTORIA Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 7779

FURNITURE BITTHISBITTHAT Fortuna Tel. 650 788 851 COMPLETE UPHOLSTERY All Areas Tel. 96 569 9305 NEW2YOU All Areas Tel. 96 571 5605 SECOND HAND FURNITURE La Marina Tel. 96 644 3370

HAIRDRESSING FRANCESC AGULLO Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 5031 SIZZOR SISTERS Fortuna Tel. 679 769 670

HEALTH & BEAUTY BRITISH DENTAL PRACTICE La Marina Tel 96 679 6603 FRANCESC AGULLO Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 5031

HEARING CENTRAL OPTICA Gran Alacant Tel: 966 698 802

HOUSEHOLD SERVICES ALI SERVICES All Areas Tel. 96 626 4701

INSURANCE ALMARCHA INSURANCE La Marina Tel. 96 572 9747 GLOBELINK TRAVEL All Areas Tel. 96 626 5000 MARTÍNEZ Y BALLESTER RABESMA Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 8781

KENNELS LEZSONJA’S BOARDING KENNELS Sax, Tel 96 618 283 MOUNTAIN VIEW CAT HOTEL Hondon Tel. 96 667 7273

KIDS MUNDO INFANTAL La Marina Tel. 617 537 156

MORTGAGES MARTÍNEZ Y BALLESTER RABESMA Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 8781

MOSQUITO NETS MOZISTOP All Areas Tel. 659 259 319

OPTICIANS

CENTRAL OPTICA Gran Alacant Tel 966 698 802

PAINTERS / DECORATORS

MAYO Gran Alacant Tel 665 063 228

PLUMBERS REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel 96 541 4040 DMF PLUMBING All Areas Tel. 96 679 9740 REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel 96 541 4040

POSTAL EASYPOST All Areas Tel. 96 672 0959

RESTAURANTS/BARS

BOB’S BAR Fortuna Tel. 681 317 447 COCOA’S Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 8509 EL PARAISO Fortuna TEL. 693 525 867 LEANA TEATRO CAFE Fortuna Tel. 96 868 5011 LOS LUNARES Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 5399 SAFFRON INDIAN REST. Gran Alacnt Tel. 96 669 8098

SOLICITORS

PELLICER HEREDIA Alicante/Hondon + Tel. 96548 0737

SUPERMARKETS AJ’s Hondon Nieves Tel. 96 548 0718 BRITISH MINI MARKET Fortuna Tel. 650 788 851