Lioness Magazine - November 2012 by Lioness Magazine

F E AT U R E S ISSUE 14 NOVEMBER 2012

GET FIT! with Valerie Orsoni, founder and CEO of LeBootCamp®

12 – BUSINESS

7 25 32

Become a Great Leader Women and Job Growth Skype Launches New Platform for Small Businesses

5 EDITOR’S LETTER 10 MANAGING ME 22 LIPSTICK CHRONICLES

Holiday GIFT GUIDE 26

ISSUE 14 NOVEMBER 2012

Editor-in-Chief Natasha Clark Copy Editor Jeanne Wroblewski Art Director Leonardo Pilares Director of Photography Denise Smith Columnists Crystal Senter Brown Brendaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Child Erin Corriveau Katelyn Gendron Kristina Chapell Contributing Writers Lamara Hunter Emily Thurlow Jennifer Sawyer

ÂŠ2012 Lioness Magazine is the first online magazine geared toward female entrepreneurs. We deliver sharp and compelling information on a variety of topics that are relevant to female entrepreneurs and professionals. Our mission is to elevate, educate and support female professionals. We celebrate the unique challenges and achievements of women in business. We believe women are multi-dimensional creations who flourish, personally and professionally, when they take time to nurture their spirits.

welcome to lioness editor’s letter Natasha Clark

Reality TV or Marketing Finesse? You Decide. The world of technology and its gift/curse to feed immediacy has revolutionized our branding abilities. We can speak directly to our audience in the speed of light and give them an all access pass to our companies, our products and services and, in some cases, our lives. Reality TV is no different. While the positive or negative effect of it is debatable, the financial gain from its exposure is undeniable. For every reality train wreck (Remember Flavor of Love?), there have been a number of successes. Carrie Underwood parlayed her 2005 “American Idol” win into becoming an endorsable multi-platinum selling, Grammy-winning artist. Kim Kardashian and her entire family have established a presence in a variety of markets – from apparel to fragrances by constantly being in front of television cameras. Bethenny Frankel has managed to spin a Skinny Girl empire out of her brief turn on Real Housewives of New York. Forget the drama and excitement – maybe what you are witnessing is the ultimate marketing hustle. This month we talk with reality TV star Gretchen Rossi of Bravo’s Real Housewives of Orange County about being an entrepreneur and the benefits that arise from her sharing her life on such a large platform. To my pleasant surprise, you get a rare glimpse into the serious side of the blue-eyed beauty. Rossi is a nice reminder that when it comes to a woman, there is more than meets the eye.

Natasha

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Things great leaders do …and failing ones don’t

By Roxana Hewertson Are you a GREAT leader or an “AT RISK” failing leader? How do you know? What would your staffers say? What would your own supervisor say? “While there is a seemingly endless list of things to consider when asking yourself ‘how am I doing?’, it’s prudent to specifically focus on your attitudes and behaviors,” notes leadership authority Roxi Hewertson, President & CEO of the Highland Consulting Group. “These are the biggest differentiators between great leaders and failing leaders because they demonstrate the four core emotional intelligence metrics: Self-Awareness, Self-Management, Social Awareness, and Relationship Management. These four factors are directly correlated with attitudes and behaviors that work for you or against those in a leadership role.” As an expert who helps emerging and entrenched leaders excel, below Hewertson details 5 winning and 5 failing behaviors and attitudes that show up consistently in leaders who succeed, and those who fail.

5 THINGS *GREAT* LEADERS DO Read/understand own emotions and recognize the impact on self and others It all begins with the amount of emotional selfawareness you demonstrate, which others around you use as a cue. By developing an accurate view of, and aptly managing, your own emotional responses to situations—and the ways in which you impact others’—the rest of your skills and talents will be duly magnified and leveraged. Great leaders know what pushes their buttons. They know where their passions lie. They know how to manage themselves and others in times of high stakes emotion, crisis, conflict, and when backs are to the wall. Great leaders know their impact on others matters regardless of intent. Great leaders also pay close attention to their impact, regularly seeking feedback so they may recover gracefully when their impact and intent are not in synch. Know one's strengths and limits The best leaders understand they can never know and do everything…and don't pretend that they do. Instead, they recognize what they are really

good at and leverage those skills, spending time doing what they do best and continuing to learn in areas where they are not as accomplished. Great leaders surround themselves with people who are smarter and more experienced in areas of their own personal gaps. A great leader will assert, "Great question. I don't know the answer to that, so let's find a super star that does." When you understand what you know, don’t know, and how you tick, you can more readily understand how to lead others to their highest potential, honoring their unique needs, motivations, strengths, and challenges. Know and have a good sense of one's self-worth and capability There is a big divide between confidence and arrogance. Confidence comes from a strong sense of self-worth and self-awareness. Arrogance comes from fear in many cases and a sense of entitlement in others. The best leaders are very confident in what they know and can do from an objective view, rather than an assumed view. These leaders continuously test themselves to see what they are

Leadership authority Roxana (Roxi) Bahar Hewertson, CEO of Highland Consulting Group, Inc., has spent her entire career revealing myths and honing truths as to what makes a leader successful in their role…or not. Revered for her no nonsense, nuts-and-bolts, tell-itlike-it-is approach, Hewertson helps both emerging and expert leaders boost quantifiable job performance in various mission critical facets of business, including service, sales, education/training, productivity, and profits, to achieve or exceed organizational and career goals. Learn more at www.highlandconsultinggroupinc.com.

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5 things great leaders do...and failing ones don’t capable of, stretching and growing and learning. At the same time, great leaders tend to be grounded, centered, stable people who are calm during a crisis, and rock solid in modeling their core values, particularly under pressure. A sure sign of this quality is when others say, "I always know and respect where (s)he stands, even if I disagree." Think and act with optimism seeing the "upside" There are two kinds of attitudes in the world— those who think and act through the lens of abundance, and those who think and act through a lens of scarcity. Attitudes shift throughout our lives for many reasons, and great leaders know the message they are sending about whatever attitude is current. Great leaders go for solutions, new ideas, and silver linings, even in the worst of times. They may change course, but they never give up. They thoughtfully navigate their staffers to a better place—often to places their subordinates didn’t even know or believe possible. The best leaders will tell the truth even if the "sky is falling" and then shine a light on the path to get everyone to a better place. These are the leaders whose employees say "I would follow my boss anywhere." See and seize opportunities for contributing to the greater good Despite conventional thinking, great leaders have low ego needs because of their solid confidence and self-worth. By not wasting time and energy to shine up their image, this kind of leader frees up energy and time to create something greater than themselves, often building a legacy that contributes to something far more important than their personal agendas. Great leaders have an achievement orientation that is laser focused on the greater good. The highest caliber set will say, “Win/Win or no deal.” And, “How can we use our resources to achieve the greatest good?” They proactively look for ways to get the best for the most, even sacrificing their personal agenda to achieve a greater overall solution or result. Great leaders believe in a shared vision and continuously drive to the best outcome for the most people involved. These are the leaders people talk glowingly about long after they are gone from the job or from life. 5 THINGS *FAILING* LEADERS DO Discount others' emotions and perspective Failing leaders just don't pick up on or value other people's signals. Or, if they do, they don’t care, all demonstrating a fundamental lack of empathy.

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This emotional intelligence skill relates directly to social awareness. One cannot be a good leader without empathy, period. If the leader cannot walk a mile in someone else's shoes, he or she will have big blinders on and miss important information, ideas, and perspective. People led by such a person generally leave as soon as they can because they do not feel trusted, heard, understood, or respected. This type of leader will have limited influence over time, and they will not inspire others. They are ego driven, often arrogant, and will surely fail while scratching their heads and wondering why. Miss key organizational clues, norms, decision networks and politics These types of “leaders” are mostly clueless and leading in name only. They somehow landed a leadership title, most likely by accident, circumstance, timing, or favoritism. They have very little emotional intelligence in terms of self-awareness and organizational awareness. They could be fearful or they might be in denial. More likely, however, they have, what could be called, “organizational blindness.” They just don't pick up the clues when their boss is displeased with them, when the tide is changing, or when people are talking about them behind their backs. They make decisions that are not theirs to make and don't make decisions that are theirs to make. They don’t develop a wide network; they just show up and act more like an individual contributor than a leader, even with their peers. They are the sort who tell inappropriate jokes, and dance to a drummer no one else is dancing to. They don't get it, don't buy it, or don't know how to play the game in their particular “sandbox.” Blame others for outcomes Author Jim Collins is right in asserting that great leaders look "in the mirror" when things go wrong and "out the window" applauding others when things go right. In fact, when things go wrong, it is about the leader since that’s who is responsible for the culture and the success of their team. Holding people accountable for their performance is important; blaming them for mistakes or failures is a non-starter. The difference between accountability and blame is the way the issue or problem is dealt with. Asking questions to understand how or where things went wrong allows the leader to "own" the problem for the team, and then have a candid discussion about the situation and the solutions—without fear. Failing leaders don’t ask; they tell. They need to make someone wrong to be right. You’ll rarely if ever hear this leader say, “Let’s see what we and I can learn/grow/understand from

this.” You will, however, hear this leader say, “I don’t want to EVER hear about this kind of screw up again…or else.” Avoid dealing with and resolving conflicts Failing leaders avoid dealing with conflicts, fail to provide constructive feedback, and duck key relationship issues. They often think, “If I ignore it, it will go away." Sometimes it does, but rarely. More commonly the conflict grows exponentially until it's a toxic, smelly mess. No team can be functional without the ability to resolve their inevitable and necessary conflicts. Dysfunctional co-worker relationships and teams of any kind simply cannot get the work done well, so their results suffer and the leader will eventually fail. Even the "nicest" leader will lose the respect of colleagues, direct reports, and the boss if they cannot or will not clean up their own messes and effectively sort out problematic issues. The system will start adjusting to this roadblock by doing "workarounds.” In short order, this leader will lose credibility and the respect of co-workers and, eventually, the leadership role. Isolate self and/or team from others in the organization These are the lone wolves who think they—or they and their team—can do the job better than everyone else. These failing leaders may have a tight "in-crowd" of direct reports who believe in them, hear a lot of “yes” from their direct reports, and see themselves in an “us vs. them” proverbial shoot out at the OK Corral. They work best in “silos,” rarely sharing resources or knowledge across the organization. They believe they are in it alone, that no one understands them and that, if anyone interferes with them, it will dilute their agenda, work, or image. Failing leaders divide and try to conquer. Winning leaders don't undermine their counterparts as failing leaders do. Instead, they collaborate and synergize, leveraging the brains, talent, and time of other leaders in the organization for the good of the whole. There are two paths out of this scenario: 1) the failing leader becomes motivated, often by distress, to dramatically change their isolationist attitudes, or 2) they return to the non-leadership role where they shine and can truly contribute. Hewertson concludes, “Most leaders and others can learn, develop, and increase their own emotional intelligence. It takes assessment, self-motivation, learning, awareness, practice and feedback. Improving one’s emotional intelligence is a lifelong journey—one that great leaders relish!”

– Managing Me –

Two words

Tis’ the season to be grateful. The holidays for some of us are about figuring out where our out of town guests will sleep, Black Friday super sales, and gaining five pounds. With so much to do, we often forget about giving thanks until it’s time for Turkey Day grace. What about every other day? Any of us who consider ourselves religious or spiritual would like to think that we give thanks daily, but showing gratitude expands farther than morning or evening prayer, farther than praising our version of God. It’s not just that fact that we are living, but what India.Aire calls “The Little Things” that make our life sweet. This season, give a thank you card to your janitor who knows exactly where you want your wastebasket, to the postal worker who knows where to place your big packages or to the

Brenda’s Child has made it her life’s mission to inspire people through poetry and stories and through leading by example with courage, confidence, and integrity. She emphasizes self-love, worth, and value. She also feels obligated to tell the truth ... even if it hurts. Visit www.brendaschild.com

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coworker who always opens the back door to let you slide in when you are late. Gratitude is mouthing “thank you” as we sip on our perfect cup of tea or that it’s Thursday and there are only two work days left. Sometimes it’s just warm and fuzzy socks that make me say, “Thank you.” We often only think of thanking people after they’ve given us a tangible gift, but what about the priceless things like the great music your favorite DJ plays on your way home or the friend who recommended the book that forever changed your perspective? It only takes those two words to let that person know they matter and to remind you that you’re are blessed. So this season, write a letter, a card, email, or just say it, for anything or anyone who has made your day that much better. Thank you for taking the time to read this article.

BOOTCAMP Millions of people overcome adversity every day. But how many do you know who turn the single greatest problem in their life into their single greatest success? Valerie Orsoni did just that, as the founder and CEO of the largest online healthy living coaching service in the world, www.Lebootcamp.com.

速

rench women do get fat. Indeed, I grew up on the sunny island of Corsica southeast of the French mainland – an overweight teenager. I ate Napoleons like they were going out of style, and eventually packed on a whopping 50 pounds that didn’t belong on my body. In a way I was lucky, because my dad was also overweight, and due to this, we decided to band together in an effort to lose weight. We tried every fad diet possible (40+!), always losing a few pounds (and sometimes a lot) in the process, but always regaining it all afterwards. It was then that my dad and I decided that all of these fad diets were actually harming us, and we started going to the library (before the Internet era) to educate ourselves. At that time the Glycemic Index studies were being conducted in Australia and this concept was the springboard to helping me lose a lot of weight with a healthy approach: easy fitness - nothing crazy or dangerous and no sweating for hours at the gym, no forbidden foods, and learning to love my body no matter what. In the end it was a combination of self-love + wholesome food in controlled portions + regular exercise that did it for me. I have never regained the weight I lost then, and nor has dad! My personal struggles with my weight, and my successful journey to discovering a balanced approach to life, food, and body image, inspired me to build a coaching empire focused on healthy living - but it was not until Thanksgiving Day 2001, as I was emerging from a long battle against a nasty brain tumor, that this vision became a reality. While I was fighting against the “beast” as I called it, I had an epiphany. I realized that what I loved to do was to help others realize their dreams, and with that, I wrote the first pages of my very first coaching website from my hospital bed, and launched it as soon as I received my bill of clean health. My brainchild “MyPrivateCoach™” quickly revealed the astonishing number of individuals who particularly valued the health and fitness programs I offered, and so, as a result, I tweaked my successful business model to launch LeBootCamp®, an online service focused solely on health, fitness, and weight

loss coaching. Since its inception, more than 1 million people in Europe and North America have joined the LeBootCamp® community to benefit from my scientifically-backed, personalized weight loss program that boasts a stunning 92% success rate. My award-winning coaching program (from $15 to $29/month), includes losing weight, toning and augmenting muscle mass, and even reducing stress - all with a French twist. See, back in Corsica, nobody went and did an hour workout at the gym – we just naturally moved more. Today, we’re always sitting on the Internet - tweeting, facebooking, typing away at our desks. Going back to my roots, I discovered the answers to staying fit and toned like that mythical French woman who had a great body before gyms even existed. Inspired, too, by my Hollywood celebrity clients who were seeking ways to stay fit on the go, I developed the 25th Hour™: a technique which enables us to "create" overtime in our busy days through integrative exercises. Whether brushing your teeth, talking on the telephone, or commuting to work, our everyday life is full of situations which you can use to work your muscles and get a fit body. At LeBootCamp®, I have the honor of helping thousands of real people achieve their health and fitness goals without the gym, fancy expensive pre-packaged food, nor spending a ton of money. Tailored to the individual, my program offers daily exercises, recipes, nutrition advice, and at the heart of it all - unlimited questions to your coach, anytime, anywhere. My challenges with health and my ultimate survival, coupled with a dream to bring healthy living to the masses, serve as the consistently driving force for the growth of my subscription-based business model, LeBootCamp®. It has been a long road, but every step has been more than worth it. Indeed, today, 1.2 million “bootcampers” are squeezing their glutes as they ride the train to work and contracting their abs while they talk on the telephone. Lots of them are also carrying me in their handbag thanks to my latest release by Reader’s Digest: “Le Personal Coach, A French Trainer’s Simple Secrets for Getting Fit and Slim without the Gym.”

Valerie Orsoni, founder and CEO LeBootCamp®. www.Lebootcamp.com

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I don’t want anything handed to me By Katelyn Gendron Lioness Columnist

Gretchen Christine Rossi is no stranger to the demands of southern California life. Just ask her and the “Real Housewives of Orange County” star will tell you that she came out of the womb with a pair of high heels and the drive to build her brand on her own terms.

“What has kept me motivated is that I really want to be my own boss. Ultimately, it comes down to your motivation and your drive to be successful and that’s something I’ve never been lacking in.” – Rossi Rossi refuses to classify herself as a housewife in the traditional sense, rather she opts for the use of the words entrepreneur and fashionista. She’s the creator of the Gretchen Christine Collection, her own line of handbags and cosmetics, while also dabbling in songwriting and acting. “I’ve always been a mover and a shaker. I can never sit still. I enjoy working and I’m definitely not a traditional housewife … The world has changed so much with females in the workplace and being allowed to do so many jobs traditionally occupied by males. I love to be a part of anything that inspires women to follow their dreams,” Rossi said. “You have to pound the pavement in order to have a payoff in the end. I don’t want anything handed to me.”

While Rossi credits her time on “Real Housewives” – joining the cast during season four – to helping her advertise her “lifestyle brand,” the Bravo production also helped her to find her voice.

nine months off [work as a real estate agent] to take care of him. Yes, it’s three years later and things are starting to take off. It wasn’t until Jeff passed away that I actually got the balls to go after it,” she said. Success as a real estate agent provided her with the capital to lay the groundwork for her business, Rossi explained, molding it from thoughts she’d jot down before bed into the Gretchen Christine Collection. The collection provides fans with “all things a woman could ever want in her closet including; handbags, jewelry, shoes, clothes dresses, hats, swimsuits, daywear and accessories,” she added, noting that the first step was developing the handbags and makeup portions of her collection at affordable prices. She candidly admitted that the road to financial independence could sometimes be overwhelming, however. “When we first launched my makeup line within three weeks were we sold out of three months of inventory. I was working from 5 a.m. and was just balling and balling because I’m a one-man show here. The same thing happened with my Pink Collection of handbags [to help Breast Cancer Charities of America], we had 54 giant boxes and sold out … what keeps you going is that you don’t have a choice. You just have to figure it out,” Rossi explained.

Grethchen Rossi

“The show has definitely been a huge platform for me to help build my brand. It’s built-in advertising for everything that I am. I don’t have to pull 30 percent of my capital for advertising,” she explained of the professional benefits, while being quick to note the personal advantages as well.

Rossi noted that what she lacks in technical design skills – she earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology from Baylor University in Texas – she more than makes up for in on-the-job training. She hopes to one day run her own “billion-dollar company.”

“When I was a little girl, it was one of those dreams I had but never really talked too much about it openly because of the aspect of fear, always wondering if people would actually take me seriously,” she recalled of knowing when she wanted to be a self-made woman.”

“I’m trying to create a lifestyle brand. I want to do swimwear and continue to grow … I want to get into retail stores,” Rossi said of her plans.

The tragic death of her fiancé Jeff several years ago also strengthened her drive to succeed. “When I lost Jeff [to cancer] that was a very, very trying time in my life and I didn’t even know how I was going to put a roof over my head. I took

When asked how long she’d continue to appear on “Real Housewives” given her expanding list of commitments to her business, she replied, “I think that I’ll ride that train until it dies. I hope that Slade [my boyfriend] and I can continue on our path to get married one day and there’s a lot of story to be told there. As long as they keep inviting me back I’ll continue to be a part of the Bravo family.” LIONESS NOVEMBER 2012

TV Chef Eden Grinshpan teams up with Kenmore to make the holidays brighter for military families

rom multi–generations to multi–cultures, honoring traditions while catering to different tastes may prove challenging for holiday hosts. A recent Kenmore survey found that more than half of Americans (52 percent) celebrate the holidays with extended family and/or friends, bringing a variety of food preferences to the table. As a chef who makes a living from experiencing many global flavors in cities around the world, TV host and celebrity chef Eden Grinshpan offers simple twists on holiday cooking to update family favorites and even create new traditions. “While guests appreciate the tried and true dishes they come to expect during the holidays,

they tend to feel extra special if their specific tastes are catered to,” said Grinshpan. “Through travels for my show, I discover food and ingredients from cultures all over the word that inspire me to bring something new and unexpected to the dinner table. With cookmore.com, cooks can share and discover fresh recipes to serve up joy year round.” The Kenmore survey revealed that 46 percent of Americans create special dishes for guests and 44 percent of those say the main reason in offering something special is to spice things up. Further, many respondents think holiday preparations are fun, with 27 percent of women responding that they feel like a “Rock Star” when it comes to holiday cooking and entertainment.

To inspire and help those aspiring “rock star” cooks, the Kenmore brand introduces cookmore.com, to easily create custom cookbooks including favorite family recipes, as well as access and share from a recipe library built by everyday cooks and acclaimed chefs. Suiting the need holiday hosts have to spice things up, the site allows users to add their own special “twists” to recipes they save and even share their own twists on others’ traditional favorites. Valuing the spirit of giving thanks during the holidays, the Kenmore brand brings something more to the table – $1 for every recipe submitted or downloaded on cookmore.com will be donated to Sears Heroes at Home – up to $10,000 – to make the holiday season brighter for military families. The Heroes at Home program strives to uplift, assist and honor America’s military service members, veterans and their families.

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Leonardo DiCaprio and Cameron Diaz, brand ambassadors for TAG Heuer, participated in fundraising for Hurricane Sandy relief efforts.

TAG Heuer President and CEO JC Babin and Cameron Diaz address the crowd at the event.

Cameron Diaz and Leonardo DiCaprio join forces at elegant charity event in New York to Support UN Women and NY Cares’ Hurricane Sandy Relief Effort A glamorous soirée in the iconic Cullman Hall of the Universe on Central Park West was the setting of a star-studded charity drive by luxury Swiss watchmaker TAG Heuer and its Hollywood brand ambassadors Cameron Diaz and Leonardo DiCaprio. The exclusive event, held below the dramatic glass-cubed planetarium sphere in the American Museum of Natural History, brought together NY and Hollywood celebrities, business, fashion and media leaders from around the world and key figures of the international jet-set for a doublepronged charity push: to raise funds for the victims of Hurricane Sandy, and raise awareness for gender equality and the empowerment of women worldwide. The 500 guests in attendance, many of whom flew in expressly for the high-profile event, were

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regaled by a special performance of the New York City Ballet, before dancing the night away to the music of New York’s red-hot DJ Evalicious. For each guest, TAG Heuer pledged $100 to New York Cares’ Hurricane Sandy Relief Fund, and a further $100 to Cameron Diaz’s partner charity, UN Women (The United Nations Entity for Gender Equality and the Empowerment of Women). The event marks the first time that TAG Heuer Ambassadors Cameron Diaz and Leonardo DiCaprio combined forces for a TAG Heuer celebrity event. “TAG Heuer uniquely brings together the elegance of generosity and the essence of luxury,” said Cameron Diaz, a TAG Heuer Brand Ambassador since last March and a longtime supporter of UN Women. “I am very proud to be a

part of their efforts to make the world a better and more beautiful place.” “Our hearts and prayers go out to the victims of Hurricane Sandy,” TAG Heuer President and CEO Jean-Christophe Babin, said. “Their resiliency in the face of such adversity is a true inspiration, as is the outpouring of support from communities worldwide. We’re proud to support New York Cares as it is the largest local volunteer organization dedicated to supporting those impacted by this devastating storm.” Profits from the sale of the stunning Link Lady Trilogy will go to support UN Women, while proceeds from the blue-dial LDC Limited Edition Link’s sales will go to Leonardo DiCaprio’s environmental charity partners, Green Cross International and the Natural Resources Defense Council ( NRDC).

Boudoir and Pin-Up style photography has become one of the hottest trends, as more women boldly step in front of the camera to capture their intimate and elegant sides. Behind Closed Doors is an exclusive women's experience offered by local photographer Denise Smith. It is a photo session designed to empower your inner woman. Denise’s goal is to increase women's confidence and give them an experience they will never forget. After a session women tend to feel empowered in ways that they may not otherwise in their personal or professional lives. “I'm a mom of three, and like most mom's now a days have a crazy schedule, work full time, volunteer and manage a household which leaves very little time for yourself. The experience at Denise Smith photography during my vintage 50s pin-up shoot was more than words can express, the experience of how you feel is priceless,” says Debi Fachetti, host of the weekly show Skin Talk on CBS 3. Behind Closed Doors includes a clothing consultation, hair stylist, makeup artist and an unforgettable photo session. It is designed for women of all ages. With over 30 years in the business Denise is an expert in providing creative posing and lighting to flatter any figure. Sessions are by appointment only and can be requested by contacting Denise Smith Photography at (413) 224-1636. Do it for your self or for that special someone. Special packages are available for the holiday season. Heat up your Holiday and schedule your session today.

– The Lipstick Chronicles –

Holidays

and the single girl

Kristina Chapell is a single gal in her thirties making her way in the world. Passionate, savvy, and stylish; Kristina is a social relationship builder. You can often find her on Facebook and Twitter keeping up with the latest news and always supporting causes she is passionate about such as the Alzheimer’s Association, Link to Libraries, and The Businews Channel.

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hanks to the needs of marketers to commercialize Christmas and the Holiday season we find ourselves being bombarded with Christmas music and decorations as early as October now. For a single girl this starts symbolizes the start of our most stressful season. There is something about snow, fires, hot cocoa, and the beauty of the season which turns us into hopeless romantics. And it doesn’t stop there because who will we kiss at midnight on New Year’s and then who will be our Valentine. Ahhh, the dread…

sexually desirable than those wearing “cooler” hues like green or brown. And, yes, this goes for me too – I am always a fan of black; after all, it goes with everything! Make sure to have comfy pajamas too. Some nights, especially during the busy holiday season, there is nothing better than a quiet night at home, with a glass of wine curled up on the couch. And as mentioned before, enjoy yourself. Your calendar will be full of shopping, holiday parties, and work gatherings. Go, look fabulous, and mingle. Remember, you ARE and independent woman whose life doesn’t revolve around a man.

But, don’t let it stress you out. In fact, this is the best time to be single. There are so many family, friend, and work holiday gatherings this time of year your calendars are already filling up. In fact, I find myself with three free nights – not weekends but nights between now and December 25th. Now add in shopping and when does a girl have time to date?! Instead, soak up the beauty of the season, no matter what holiday you celebrate.

Make sure to schedule time with your girlfriends. Drinks, dinner, manicures/pedicures, shopping or a day of pampering… make your own posse, even if for a day. I do this, and in fact will be doing it over Thanksgiving. I enjoy spending time with my three best friends, all of us single. Think Sex in the City Atlanta style.

Not to mention, when the holiday you celebrate does come you don’t have to worry about who is going to whose house or more importantly “he didn’t invite me to his family’s house for dinner.” Ladies, we have all been there – the how come we didn’t get invited phone call to a girlfriend. Well, when you have only gone out a few times he shouldn’t have to invite you and you shouldn’t have to invite him. Besides, think of the stress you are saving yourself from worrying if your family will like him or vice versa.

Having fun is key but, be prepared as well. Family gatherings are the worst place for relationship status updates. With my sister married, and cousins married and/or with children, I am the only single grandchild without a child. Luckily my immediate family knows I work a lot and do things I enjoy but it doesn’t stop aunts and uncles from asking if I am dating, why not, etc. Frankly, what some family members don’t get is we don’t need to be dating or married to feel accomplished or worthy. Having a good job, doing things we love and having great friends is just as important to making us feel worthy.

Instead of worrying, have fun. Wear more red! Research shows men may be more attracted to women in red. Several articles published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that women wearing red were rated more

So, now that you’re having fun and prepared for the “why are you single questions”, think about how you can change your dating situation come January 1st. Think about online dating, blind dates, or other options. Dating is a numbers

game, so the more options you have the better chance you have at finding someone. Volunteering could be a great way to spread some holiday cheer and meet a new potential boyfriend. As a college professor I teach a class about reinventing one’s self. One of the things we do is create a vision board. Remember when we were young and we plastered our walls with pictures of cute guys, places we wanted to go, etc.? Well, this is essentially the same but a grown-up version. Get a few magazines, a posterboard, some glue and go to town. The idea of a vision board is to surround yourself with images of who you want to be or who you want to love. Things to remember about the LOVE vision board – be clear about what you want and find it, sort and edit, leave a space for you in the middle, and then find a perfect space in your house or room for the vision board. Finding love can sometimes be easier when you know exactly what you are looking for. Remember those comfy pajamas??? Pour the wine, spend a quiet evening home, and start planning. Lastly, single ladies - don’t think you are the only ones who stress over the holidays. Ladies in relationships do as well. Whether dating or married it doesn’t get easier because the stress of who house you go to, how many dinners/desserts you have to eat, shopping for him and his family, will he come to holiday social events with you, etc. And if you are dating and have been for a while, then comes stress about the “future.” So don’t worry about being single this holiday season. Enjoy it, take time to figure out what you want in a mate, and start planning. Who knows, you might just find yourself a date for Valentine’s Day.

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Women gain more than half the jobs in a month of strong job growth, NWLC analysis shows The economy gained 171,000 jobs in October, more than half of which (91,000) went to women, according to new analysis from the National Women’s Law Center. Reversing a trend for the recovery as a whole, women gained 12,000 public sector jobs in October. Since the start of the recovery in June 2009, women have lost 351,000 public sector jobs, effectively wiping out 30 percent of the nearly 1.2 million private sector jobs they have gained. Men also have lost public sector jobs – 25,000 last month; but since the start of the recovery men’s public sector losses have only wiped out 8 percent of the more than 2.6 million private sector jobs they have gained. “Recovering from a catastrophe such as the 2008 crash is a marathon, not a sprint,” said Joan Entmacher, Vice President for Family Economic Security at the National Women’s Law Center. “The economy is moving in the right direction, with solid job gains again last month. In particular, today’s jobs data show a stronger recovery for women, though once again, public sector job losses slowed progress overall. The data show that policy makers who are serious about strengthening this recovery need to stop cutting public services. These programs represent jobs for public workers who respond to emergencies, teach our children, and protect our health.” The unemployment rate for adult women (20 and older) increased slightly in October 2012 primarily due to women joining the labor force to look for work. Adult men’s unemployment rate was flat last month. Unemployment rates have dropped during the recovery for both adult women and men. The much steeper decline for men has made men’s and women’s unemployment rates nearly equal. Unemployment rates increased in October for adult African American women

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for the Holidays Blissliving Home offers a global touch for the modern home with their Rendezvous with Paris inspired bedding and accessories, like these candles shaped in the form of fun slingbacks. Visit us at www.blisslivinghome.com

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Featured at the NYIGF were a plethora of items ranging from stationary to bedding to more unique home innovations, all displayed for the upcoming holiday season! All Photos By Emily Thurlow

home for the holidays

People will look forward to going to bed at night with this one-of-a-kind 'mood rocking bed,' from Shiner, a modern, eco-friendly, furnishings company out of Atlanta, GA. For more information, visit shinerinternational.com

Some of the ladies behind 'Angelrox' a versatile and comfortable clothing line out of Brooklyn, N.Y. that can be shaped into many looks, ideal for the busy woman on-the-go.

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home for the holidays

Lauren Smith, owner of 'Hope Clips: Helping Other People Everyday," models these African butterfly hair clips, hand-beaded by tribes in South Africa. Due to their innovative interlocking design, these hairclips are comfortable to wear while holding hair firmly in place and are great for all hair types. For more information, visit hopeclips.com. *A portion of all of Hope Clips' proceeds goes to help children in need through Hopes & Dreams International & The "Will Santa Find Me?" Foundation -a non-profit organization.

Women can unleash the Lioness Within with this fierce ring from Jan Michaels of San Francisco's Antikwa collection. visit www.janmichaels.com for more information.

Jean Vavra, owner of Natural Selection Bath & Body out of San Diego, Calif. and her son, Trajan -the face behind her Buddha Baby product line.

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NWLC analysis

(12.4 percent) and for single mothers (11.5 percent). Adult Hispanic women’s unemployment rate decreased in October (9.5 percent). Rates for all these groups remained higher than for women and men overall. The long-term unemployment rate—the percentage of jobless workers looking for work for more than six months—remained high for both adult women and men in October. More than four in ten jobless adult women (42.7 percent) and men (46.4 percent) were unable to find work after looking for more than six

months. Federal unemployment insurance benefits, which provide additional weeks of benefits for some long-term jobless workers, are set to expire at the end of December. In past recessions, Congress has never allowed these benefits to expire when the unemployment rate was above 7.2 percent. Job changes for women and men in October were spread across several industries:

growth before there are enough jobs for everyone who wants to work," Entmacher said. "In the meantime, unless Congress takes action, 2 million long-term jobless workers and their families will lose unemployment insurance benefits in December. Extending these benefits is good for families and the economy because it puts money in the pockets of jobless workers – who become customers for businesses. Members of Congress should make this a top priority when they return in November.”

“The economy continues to improve, but it will take many more months of strong job

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Five tips for busy women trying to find balance and enjoy life's simple pleasures (BPT) Every woman knows that hectic schedules can make it easy to forget to stop and enjoy the little things in life. But by finding creative ways to embrace some of life's simple pleasures, you can make sure to stay happy and content. Actress, model and celebrity mom Ali Landry says she's found that taking the time to enjoy some of her favorite indulgences in moderation - whether it's snacks, travel, exercise or even a night out - has been the key to being a happy mother of two. “There's no tried-and-true formula for finding balance and enjoying life fully” says Landry. “According to a recent survey, three in five women say that eating certain foods is their No. 1 source of guilt. I disagree with this whole heartedly. I refuse to feel guilty about enjoying the things I love - like chocolate.” Landry offers five tips for striking that balance:

Ali Landry

• Ever feel like you need a vacation but don't have the time or the budget to pull it off? Opt for a vacation activity at home instead. Head out to a nearby beach or park and pack a picnic to enjoy with the friends and family. Then schedule a night of fun at home playing a new game or enjoying a new activity. •Allow yourself to indulge with moments of moderation. Always abstaining from your favorite treats might lead you to binge after an especially stressful day. Landry allows herself a daily indulgence of her favorite snack: chocolate. “I love Hershey's Simple Pleasures chocolates because they are individually wrapped, and they're 30 percent less fat than the average of the leading milk chocolates,” says Landry. “I'm a woman who wants to be able to savor her chocolate without the guilt. I'm rejoicing since I found Hershey's Simple Pleasures chocolate it's a delicious chocolate you can feel great about loving.”

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• Busy women across the country struggle to find time to work out. By finding activities like kid-friendly yoga or going for a hike with friends, you can get your workout in while spending quality time together. • If you're craving a night at a fancy restaurant, but can't get away or don't want to leave the kids, create a restaurant atmosphere at home for one special meal. Dine together with the kids and then once the kids are in bed, set aside time to read or have a drink on the porch with your spouse. • Schedule small bits of ‘me time’ each day, even if it's just 15 minutes to read in a quiet part of your home. Talk with friends, roommates or family about the importance of having this time to yourself and they'll be more than understanding when they see the restorative effects that a little downtime can have on your demeanor. “I have learned that if you take some time to enjoy the things you love, and find ways to incorporate them into your everyday life, you can help reduce stress, allowing you to be happier. For busy women trying to find balance, there's no getting around the fact that some days will be more challenging than others,” Landry added. “But women should remember to take care of themselves too, and I've found that working in a few simple pleasures in moderation helps me be a better friend, mom and wife.” For more on Hershey's Simple Pleasures(R) chocolates and a full list of flavors, visit www.facebook.com/hersheyssimplepleasures.

– Shine On Sista! –

Rediscovering hospitality As I type this article, my kitchen sink is overflowing with dirty dishes. A part of me wants to stop right now and wash them, but the writer in me refuses, at least for now. I know some people who can't even go to bed if there is even one dish in the sink! Luckily, I am not that girl. But while I am relaxed in certain areas of my life, it used to stress me out if people stopped by unexpectedly and my home was not in perfect order. I found myself hiding from the doorbell or ignoring their calls. But then I realized they were not visiting my house, they were visiting ME! Sure, there may be a pile of papers on the kitchen counter, but there was also a fresh cup of coffee and a slice of homemade pound cake waiting for them. Who would even notice a pile of papers when there is pound cake in the room? I realized a few years ago that the art of hospitality was beginning to fade away as social media became more popular. By definition, hospitality means “the quality of receiving and treating guests and strangers in a warm, friendly, generous way.” Notice the definition doesn't say “receiving guests into a picture perfect home” or “receiving guests into a home with no dirty dishes in the sink”? Sure, we all want to present our homes in a way that is pleasing to our guests, but if you're purposely canceling dinner plans or book club meet-

ings because your home is not up to par, get over it! Your friends and family won't even remember the dust on your windowsill. But they will remember the warmth and love you showed them. Social media sites like Facebook make it easy to stay connected to friends and family without even having to leave home. And while I love the convenience of being able to send a message to a friend, I also enjoy sharing a glass of wine with that same friend at my kitchen table. And while I love receiving hundreds of Happy Birthday wishes on my Facebook page, the handful of handwritten birthday cards I received in the mail this year meant so much more! When was the last time you entertained in your home? If it was not within the past year, you've got some work to do. Schedule a holiday gathering at your home for your closest friends and family. If your budget is tight, bake a few dozen of sugar cookies and a big batch of hot cocoa. The point is not to show off, instead you are showing your friends and family just how much they mean to you! In a world where text messages and wall posts have replaced actual conversation, wouldn't it be nice to hear someone's actual laugh instead of reading “LOL” on a computer screen?

Crystal Senter Brown has appeared in Essence Magazine, Vibe Magazine and Redbook Magazine and has released three music cd’s and three books, most recently “The Rhythm in Blue” (www.therhythminblue.com.) But the role she is most proud of is being Adonte’s mother and Corey’s wife. Learn more about Crystal at www.crystalsenterbrown.com.

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Skype.com

Skypeâ&#x201E;˘ Launches New Online Platform for Small Businesses This month Skype launched to the public Skype in the workspace (SITW), a new online platform for small businesses to instantly connect with potential customers, partners and suppliers across the globe. The free-to-use tool makes use of the huge network already offered by Skype, allowing millions of small businesses to promote their products and services to new networks and connections. Users can improve existing connections and establish new ones by instantly sending messages and talking to or meeting face-to-face with peers and business prospects over Skype. The SITW community is already active because today's launch comes at the end of a six-month beta trial, which enabled 500 businesses, offering more than 140 different services, to sign up, try out and test the platform. "With more than 280 million connected users each month, Skype offers a huge range of contacts for the small-business community," Ural Cebeci, head of SMB Marketing at Skype, said. "We aim to connect millions of small businesses with Skype in the workspace and believe that, by taking advantage of this shared network, businesses can develop the range of tools they need to grow, regardless of location or industry. From the designer in San Francisco looking to source textile suppliers inThailand to the London consult-

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ant connecting with clients in Milan, the possibilities are endless." SITW will provide a central hub for entrepreneurs, startups and small businesses to connect with experts, coaches and consultants who can help them develop their businesses. Users join the community using their existing Skype accounts, then through a series of promotional tools can create public "offers" or "opportunities" inviting community members to live sessions on Skype to demonstrate services or products to a wider audience. Users can also book appointments with potential customers or suppliers and keep track of them with a meeting notification service. When an opportunity is over, users can instantly give testimonials on the product or service offered. "Small businesses are the backbone of the U.S. economy," Cebeci said. "For these businesses to survive and grow in what is still a tough economic climate, we understand that good communication and connections are key to their success. "This is why today we are opening the Skype in the workspace platform to the public," Cebeci said. "We feel we're helping connect businesses face-to-face with their customers and prospects, no matter where they are located. It opens up a world of opportunity for them."

Alison Coward, an avid user of Skype and owner of the London creative collaboration agency Bracket, said, "Skype in the workspace is a real breakthrough. It's the perfect platform for me to promote my business and connect with the people who can help it to grow. My business is about getting in front of people and helping them to solve their problems. With Skype in the workspace, I am visible to quality leads without even leaving the office. With no travel time to contend with, it's also now far more feasible for me to grow my business outside the U.K. into Europe and the U.S." Jorge Parra, an avid user of Skype and owner of Florida-based Jorge Parra photography, said, "There's a big difference between a professional network and a social network, and Skype in the workspace seems to understand this distinction. It is the perfect companion to my existing online presence and generates connections that will actually bring me business." Cindy Bidar, owner of All Quality Websites, a U.S. startup providing expert advice on how to design, build and maintain an online presence, added, "Skype in the workspace has offered something other online platforms couldn't â&#x20AC;&#x201D; a community of business-focused individuals who can explore my services and interact with me in real time."