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OCTOBER 2011 LIONESSS
ISSUE 3 OCTOBER 2011
ON THE COVER Kimberly Williams
16 F E AT U R E S
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FA I T H How to overcome obsticles in your life Minister Gregory Jones uses his God given ability to inspire, educate and motivate others to attain new heights in areas of spiritual growth and development
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COVER Taking it to the next level Kimberly Williams is the woman behind the Next Level Development Conference for Women of Color
SOCIAL WatchME 911 Two women create phone app to encourage safety
MUSIC Ketch a vibe The carribbean influenced sounds of Julie Dexter
CAREER Going global Able Wanamakok talks about juggling her career and being a mother
BUSINESS Getting Inspired Jill Monson finds inspiration after surviving a dear loss
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
5 EDITOR’S LETTER 20 THE STILETTO STATEMENT 22 SHINE ON SISTA!
Illumination
(and inspiration for the daily grind)
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ISSUE 3 OCTOBER 2011
Editor-in-Chief Natasha Clark Copy Editor Jean Wroblewski Art Director Leonardo Pilares Director of Photography Denise Smith Columnists Crystal Senter Brown Brenda’s Child Erin Corriveau Dawn Leaks Katelyn Gendron Contributing Writers Tony Gaskins, Jr. Lamara Hunter
Lioness Magazine is the first e-zine geared toward female entrepreneurs. We deliver sharp and compelling information on a variety of topics that are relevant to female entrepreneurs and professionals. Our mission is to elevate, educate and support female professionals.
We celebrate the unique challenges and achievements of women in business. We believe women are multi-dimensional creations who flourish, personally and professionally, when they take time to nurture their spirits.
editor’s letter
They call it “growing pains” for a reason. Stepping outside of our comfort zones makes us feel exposed and vulnerable; and depending on the situation that pushes us toward change, it can also hurt emotionally. As women we have the ability to be resilient. Many of us have championed circumstances that others have told us were impossible. We should not allow external conditions to be the only force behind change in our life. We should constantly seek out avenues to do this for ourselves. Having faith in a source greater than us can help us channel the strength we need to pursue the changes we desire. Taking our lives to the next level requires transitions each day. Do something you never thought you could do. Go out on that limb of fear and embrace positive changes – a new fitness regime, a new class, headlining a new project at work. One of my favorite writers, Michelle McKinney Hammond, wrote in her book The Diva Mystique that no one can move forward unless he or she assesses where they presently are. Hammond writes, “You can’t change something if you don’t know what you’re supposed to change. Ask yourself the hard questions and be willing to answer them truthfully. Remember, this is about you becoming a better you.” So this month I ask you to challenge yourself. Take a quiet moment to reflect on your life. What’s your next move? Where do you want to be six months from now or in one year? What do you need to do to get there? There may be choices to make that are difficult. Imagine that each time you take one step toward what you want, your goal is taking two steps toward you. Eventually, you will meet, but you have to move to get there. Our souls have boundless energy to draw upon. Harvest it. We all know people who have made it out of impossible situations. Some have survived illnesses even though doctors told them there was no hope. Others have been left standing in towns that have been completely ravaged by natural disasters. Climbing over obstacles gives us a courage and confidence that a straight and easy path never could. I encourage you to tap into this capability. You’ll come out on the other side transformed in a way you never imagined. Always Aspire to Inspire …
Natasha
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Min Gregory Jones A Certified Christian Life Coach and Christian Counselor through the Association of Christian Counselors, Minister Gregory Jones uses his God given ability to inspire, educate and motivate others to attain new heights in areas of spiritual growth and development. In 2008 he founded Still Waters Christian Life Coaching where the motto is: “Christian Coaching Without Religion, but With Results.�
H O W T O OV E R C O M E
Obstacles in your
Life
W
e all have the tendency to see obstacles as insurmountable problems in our lives. In reality, obstacles are really only defined by how we view them. How many of us didn't start something or gave up or because we imagined the obstacles as some great big giants we couldn't overcome? We miss out on life's opportunities when we don't know how to deal with the obstacles in our path, be they real or imagined. Well, I'm going to help you to overcome your fear and to look at obstacles as stepping stones, not stumbling blocks. I want to show you that with the power of God and with a little added commitment on your part, you can make your dreams come true. Here are four steps to help you overcome obstacles:
1. Dream without them. What do I mean by that? Imagine for a moment that those obstacles, real or imagined, were not there. Experience the possibilities of the things that you could accomplish if those obstacles weren't there. What would you be doing? What would it look like? What would you be doing right now in your life? If you can see yourself clearly and dream without those obstacles, then how impor-
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tant do you really believe those obstacles are to living a successful life?
how others perceive your problem. It just might help you to decide that your obstacle wasn't really an obstacle at all.
2. Find out what worked in the past. 4. Walk in the light. Different strategies work for different people, and what works for me just might not work for you. A great way to find out what works for you is to explore what worked for you in the past when you had to overcome an obstacle in your life. Recalling that you have overcome obstacles before helps to build courage and renew your self-confidence. If you overcame obstacles before, you can do it again. Ask yourself these specific questions: (a) When you've faced obstacles in the past, how did you overcome them? (b) Think about a time when you faced a fear and beat it. How did you do it? Take the time to write down the answers so that you can see an obstacle for what it really is. This is a great way to help you build up your courage. 3. Brainstorm Options. You have the God-given ability to think things through. You can also ask others to help you to brainstorm so that you can see things from a variety of perspectives. People are always willing to help, and this exercise gives you the ability to see
We all have to work through internal obstacles like fear and insecurity. Why not let God's word be your helping hand to a breakthrough. As stated in 2 Corinthians 10:4: "For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty in God..." Whenever we are fearful and insecure, we can look to God to help us confront these obstacles. I would also recommend that if you suffer such bondage, seek out a Christian Life Coach or a Christian Counselor for guidance. Don't let the obstacles of fear and insecurity keep you from living up to your God-given potential. These are just some of the things that one can do to overcome the obstacles that stand in the way of success in your everyday living. Use these tips and begin your journey of self discovery. You'll never know what you have been missing until you overcome your obstacles. You'll be glad you did!
In His service, Min Gregory Jones
Thursday, October 27th Sheraton Springfield One Monarch Place
Annual Awards for: Employer of the Year Rookie Employer of the Year Armand Tourangeau Volunteer of the Year
Breakfast at 7:15am Program from 7:45 to 9:15am R.S.V.P. by October 22:
There is no charge to attend the event, but you must register to ensure your seat. Suggested minimum donation is $100
(413) 781-5359 or kplante@HRU.org
Event co-chairs: Timm Marini, FieldEddy Insurance Daniel Flynn, People’s United Bank
Keynote Speaker: Dick Hoyt of Team Hoyt
hru.org
Able Wanamakok
going global 8
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A B L E WA N A M A K O K
Global: Mothers around the world share the same story of managing the balancing act Juggling a career and being a mother is something that I only recommend if you’re up for the long hours and hard work. My name is Able Wanamakok and I moved to Phuket, Thailand, about six years ago when my husband wanted to open a business in his native country. The opportunity for me to become a news anchor in Thailand was part luck and part destiny. You could say my career began at a housewarming party hosted by a local news mogul who happened to be looking for a news anchor who was Asian, spoke English, and who would look presentable on camera. Well let me tell you, I was so nervous at my first screen test that I could barely utter the script I was to read. Luckily, after a few months of practice, I finally got the hang of it. My public speaking skills were initially slim to none. Thank God the show was taped rather than live. What started out as a small deal became bigger and bigger. After two years of broadcasting, the program that I was anchoring began to receive more recognition as the first television news program originating in Phuket. People were starting to recognize me out in public which, in turn, gave me more confidence with my broadcasting skills. All was going well with my job when I became pregnant with our first child back in April 2007. My pregnancy was an easy one. For nine months I was in a good mood and had suffered from no
morning sickness. We named our son Phukanok Colin Wanamakok. He brought great joy into my life and made me smile every day with his easy going personality and beautiful little face. I felt truly blessed to be able to have this little angel be a part of my family. Living in Thailand had many benefits for me
including having family support and being able to afford hiring a caring nanny. I was able to return to work three months after giving birth, thanks to the help of my mother-in-law and our nanny, Lek. Along with my husband, these two people
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Able Wanamakok heads AWPR Phuket, a boutique PR & marketing firm specialized in social media marketing, online videos and public relations campaigns concentrating on small to medium-sized firms headquartered in Phuket, Thailand.
GOING
GLOBAL
are my life savers because raising a child isn’t an easy thing. Being a working mom is very difficult for me because my life changed so drastically. I was simultaneously dealing with my lack of sleep at night, breast-feeding, and the realization that I was now responsible not only for myself but for the life of my child. These were slow and sometimes painful changes to my life. There were times when I just felt stuck and would cry because I did not know how to handle a situation. Luckily I always had my husband and my parents to fall back on for moral support. My daily routine began with being awakened by my son around 6:30 or 7:00 am, eating breakfast, and making sure I had pumped enough breast milk to leave in the frig before going to work. My child was left in the care of our nanny or my mother-in-law when she came to visit us every few months. I was also able to stop back home and check on my baby regularly during the day, thanks to the flexibility of my job. Two years later, I became pregnant with my second child. This pregnancy was unexpected. I was initially very sad because I had plans for my career but soon after I realized that I was once again blessed to be pregnant and that I must welcome
my second child just as much as I had welcomed Colin. Phutanate Lincoln Wanamakok was born on May 29, 2011, and is a chubby but healthy baby. Having one child was manageable but imagine caring for two at the same time! I’m no Octomom or Kate Gosselin and have no idea how they deal with all the stress and uncontrollable chaos that comes with multiple births. For me, motherhood is a tough job! Unlike my little Colin, Lincoln was much tougher to care for because he would cry non-stop for hours, and I had no idea why. I remembered one time when I was only able to sleep for four hours on and off for a week. I lost it when my husband came home late after a long day of work. I told him that I couldn’t take care of Lincoln anymore. I was so stressed out that I handed the baby over to my husband and crashed down on my bed. At the time when Lincoln was born, I had already left my old company and had decided to venture out on my own. I did not have the pressure and responsibility of a job anymore but now had the pressures of being the mother of two. As a person who loves to work, I never imagined myself being a stay-at-home mom. Now that I was home all
the time, even with the help of a nanny, it was a tough transition for me. Sometimes it was hard just to think about no longer moving forward with my career. I felt like I was losing my identity. Whenever I ask for advice from other mothers, they always tell me that my children will grow quickly and that a career will come later. For now, these mothers recommend that I should invest more of my time in the well-being of my kids. When I hear these words and how they advise me not to follow in their footsteps, I can feel the wisdom they have learned from the mistakes they have made. I realize that they are right and that my children need my time and love me more than anything else in their world. I need to be there for them. So after not working for almost two years and knowing that my nanny will continue to help me take care of my children, I agreed to return to anchoring after receiving a phone call from the producer of a local TV network. It was as though fate had stepped in because their anchor needed to move back to the U.S., and the position was available. I went in for a screen test after two and a half years of no on-air practice, and I got the job on the spot! My new position requires me to be on the air live twice a week. I had never done live broadcasting before but knowing that my kids are well taken care of at home and at school, I am able to spend the time required of me to focus on my job. I still make mistakes like reading the words incorrectly off the prompter; but with more practice, I know I will get better. I can truly say that I am only able to juggle being a mother of two and a news anchor because I keep my priorities in perspective. The way things are working out for me now is as perfect as it can get because I still feel that my career is moving forward (even though it might be slower than I thought it would be), and I am able to spend a lot of my time with my children. I don’t feel guilty about working because after all, I still need to give time to myself and not forget who I am.
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Jill Monson Inspired Marketing works with small and medium sized companies, as well as nonprofits. Their services include: Marketing Strategies, Logo Design, Media Buying Strategies, Graphic Design, Website Design, Social Media, Event Planning, Video and Audio Services, Training and more.Contact Jill at (413) 303-0101 or jill@getinspiredmarketing.com
Getting
Inspired One woman who stepped out on inspiration I remember sitting at the cemetery as the preacher was speaking about my Mom. “Sue was a kind woman. She always gave of herself to others.” My mind began to wander. My Mom was only 56, and she was gone. Every person here at her funeral must have been thinking about how they knew her, how she influenced them, and how she made a difference in their lives. What if I only had another twenty years left to live? How would people remember me? Hopefully not for selling coupons (which was my job at the time). I always knew I was passionate about helping local businesses thrive and about keeping business as local as possible. I had no idea what that looked like though. With the help of an amazing best friend and terrific brother, the concept for my business was born. I call my company Inspired Marketing – because my Mom inspired me to do it. The logo features a blue butterfly which symbolizes my Mom. Okay, now I had a name and business cards, but I also had a mortgage and LOTS of bills. I knew I didn’t want to become known as the “Queen of selling coupons;” and I knew I needed more creativity in my life, but I was afraid. I was given an opportunity to become the Director of Marketing for a large company and was told that I could pursue my business on the side. What a perfect opportunity – or so I thought. Working full time gave me almost no time to grow my business and many days left me creatively drained. As the end of 2010 drew clos-
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er, I knew my contract with my employer was coming to an end. Thankfully, I had been able to save some money so that I could survive until I found my next job. The calendar flipped, and in 2011, I was officially unemployed. I had a few job offers, but I kept thinking back to that day in cemetery. When people would be saying their final good-bye to me at some future day, how did I want to be remembered? I knew I needed some input from my friends, family and mentors, so I decided to hold a focus group – about ME! Phew. That was scary! It was also an amazing eye opener. I learned that this whole group of people believed in me. They thought it was my time. One person said something so obvious it took me aback. “If you do this and don’t succeed, will it kill you? Literally, will you die?” Of course not was my answer. After making several lists of the pros & cons of owning my own business and then waffling for another few weeks, I made the decision to move forward, full speed ahead. If you are considering forming your own business, my first recommendation, based solely on my personal experience, is to begin by finding a location for your business. I thought I could work from home, but my personal life kept interfering with my professional life. It is also hard to get dressed and go to work in the dining room. There are very inexpensive spaces available to rent if you look for them, and having a business address truly helps you and others to take your business seriously.
I would also recommend that you, as a new business owner, seek out available resources such as: The Massachusetts Small Business Development Center (MSBDC) which offers free and confidential small business counseling. Telephone (413) 737-6712 The United States Small Business Administration (SBA) which offers financial assistance and entrepreneurial services. Telephone (413) 785-0268 SCORE (Counselors to America's Small Business) which offers confidential free counseling and high impact, low cost business planning workshops). Telephone (413) 785-0314 Last but not least, I would encourage you to get a good business attorney and a good bookkeeper. It has been eight months since I launched my own business. Many people wonder if owning my own business is still scary. Yes, it is. Do I worry about paying the bills, getting health insurance, being successful? Every day. I think back to hearing a presentation made by Allison Levine, the team captain of the first American women’s Everest expedition, who said, “Fear is fine. Complacency can kill you.” I knew that taking the risk of forming my company would not kill me. I also knew that doing nothing would kill me inside. That’s why I went for it!
DO YOU
FEAR
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PUBLIC SPEAKING
Don’t let it keep you from taking your career to the next level Feeling some nervousness before giving a speech is natural and even beneficial, but too much nervousness can be detrimental. Here are some proven tips on how to control your butterflies and give better presentations: 1. Know your material. Pick a topic you are interested in. Know more about it than you include in your speech. Use humor, personal stories and conversational language – that way you won’t easily forget what to say.
Toastmasters International is a non-profit educational organization that teaches public speaking and leadership skills through a worldwide network of meeting locations. Visit www.toastmasters.org
2. Practice. Practice. Practice! Rehearse out loud with all equipment you plan on using. Revise as necessary. Work to control filler words; Practice, pause and breathe. Practice with a timer and allow time for the unexpected. 3. Know the audience. Greet some of the audience members as they arrive. It’s easier to speak to a group of friends than to strangers. 4. Know the room. Arrive early, walk around the speaking area and practice using the microphone and any visual aids. 5. Relax. Begin by addressing the audience. It buys you time and calms your nerves. Pause, smile and count to three before saying anything. ("One one-thousand, two one-thousand, three one-thousand. Pause. Begin.) Transform nervous energy into enthusiasm. 6. Visualize yourself giving your speech. Imagine yourself speaking, your voice loud, clear and confident. Visualize the audience clapping – it will boost your confidence. 7. Realize that people want you to succeed. Audiences want you to be interesting, stimulating, informative and entertaining. They’re rooting for you. 8. Don’t apologize for any nervousness or problem – the audience probably never noticed it. 9. Concentrate on the message – not the medium. Focus your attention away from your own anxieties and concentrate on your message and your audience. 10. Gain experience. Mainly, your speech should represent you — as an authority and as a person. Experience builds confidence, which is the key to effective speaking. A Toastmasters club can provide the experience you need in a safe and friendly environment.
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Photos of Kimberly Williams taken by Denise Smith Photography, Lioness Photographer. denisesmithphotography.com
Taking it to the
Next Level
Kimberly Williams raises the bar for her sisters By Dawn Leaks A simple Google search on “getting to the next level” will yield hundreds of articles and videos but what does “getting to the next level” really mean? What is the next level and why should I want to go there? Luckily, I had the incredible opportunity to sit down with Kimberly Williams, the founder and visionary behind Next Level Development, based in Springfield, MA and get some answers to my questions. Dawn: What is Next Level Development (NLD) all about? Kim: The explicit mission of Next Level is to support the careers and personal development of women and people of color. We do this through our annual Next Level Development Conference for Women of Color as well as book discussions and several other events throughout the year. Dawn: Let’s talk about the conference. How did you come with the idea? Kim: Well, Next Level Development, along with the conference was born out of my vision that women and people of color in and around Western Massachusetts would have access to high quality and affordable personal and professional development opportunities that are practical and immediately applicable in a real life context. Dawn: There is a lot of talk these days about professional development. How does NLD tie into that?
Kim: One of the things that happens a lot in professional development settings is that there is little or no connection to “this is how I live my life”. That might be what I do in my career but how does that relate to what I do in my life? Next Level looks at not only what you can do professionally but where you can go personally and how you leverage what’s going on in your personal life to get to where you want to be professionally and vice versa. I think it’s unnatural to separate your own internal development (personal, spiritual, etc.) from what you do in your career or profession. Efficacy for women of color deals with how we think about ourselves and how that impacts our development. Personal and professional development have to be married. Dawn: So, everyone is talking about going to the next level and professional development. What about the person that is asking “Why do I need to go to the next level?” Kim: I try not to talk about professional development without putting it into context. We’re really talking about career development. When people think of the of the word “professional” sometimes they think white collar office and they think if they are not working at a corporation then they are not a professional or that this doesn’t relate to them. Or they think if they are not at a certain level in a corporation that this doesn’t pertain to them. It’s not simply about how to advance your career; it’s about how to advance your entire life to the next level. This is for someone who is looking to have something more, something better, or something different in her life.
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The test that can save the lives of women
ccording to the American Cancer Society, more than 200,000 women in the United States will be diagnosed with breast or ovarian cancer this year. Up to 10 percent of these cases will be due to an inherited mutation in the BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene, two genes that normally work to prevent breast and ovarian cancer. Myriad Genetics, Inc. developed the BRACAnalysis, a blood test to detect these mutations. Women who carry one of these gene mutations have up to an 87 percent risk of developing breast cancer and up to a 44 percent risk of developing ovarian cancer.
A
Laboratories, Inc. “Doctors help patients understand their risks for breast or ovarian cancer and help identify individuals who may benefit from BRACAnalysis testing to help reduce their risks for cancer.
“There are approximately 500,000 women in the U.S. who may be carrying a BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene mutation which predisposes them to developing breast or ovarian cancer,” said Gregory C. Critchfield, M.D., President of Myriad Genetic
According to estimates, women with an altered BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene have a 56 to 87 percent risk to develop breast cancer by age 70, whereas the risk for women in the general population is only about 7 percent. Additionally, women with
In normal cells, BRCA1 and BRCA2 help ensure the stability of the cell’s genetic material (DNA) and help prevent uncontrolled cell growth. But in some cases, a person inherits from either parent a BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene with an alteration. This alteration or mutation interferes with the normal activity of the gene, making a person more susceptible to breast and ovarian cancer.
an altered BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene have a 27 to 44 percent risk to develop ovarian cancer by age 70, whereas the risk is less than two percent for women in the general population. “The BRACAnalysis test provides potentially lifesaving information to women about their inherited risk … the response we received from patients and the medical community to our previous campaigns has been overwhelmingly positive. This feedback reinforced our commitment to educate more women and their doctors about the risk of hereditary cancer,” Critchfield added. To learn more visit
www.bracnow.com
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Fashion drives us Mad with wanting Moore By Katelyn Gendron Fashion, just like a woman’s career, should always see forward movement from season to season. Staying ahead of the curve in Western Massachusetts is not easy but given a little gas money and a GPS, you can shop at the best fashion districts in the Northeast. One must always remember that department stores in Western Massachusetts – as is the case outside any major metropolitan area – are at least one year behind the latest trends. Why, you ask? Because the Powers That Be figure we won’t buy into the looks until we’ve had time to see them on the backs of Hollywood’s finest figureheads.
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On such figurine who has endorsed a major (and affordable) brand this fall is actress Demi Moore for Ann Taylor. Billboards and posters of Demi in form-fitting ensembles ranging from tweeds to flared slacks to sweater dresses accented with faux fur are currently plastered along urban roadways. The collection brings with it a mix of vintage style such as ‘60s-inspired dresses as well as flairs for the modern, working woman with statement-making jewelry. While shooting the ad campaign, Moore told the Associated Press, “I feel like I’ve known Ann Taylor since I was a kid. I’ve watched the clothes move into support for the working woman … I’ve seen as we’ve changed, that
they’ve changed, reflecting on how we live as modern women, which is wearing things that take us from day to night, from workout to work to weekend.” This collection can be found at locations on Boylston and Newbury Streets in Boston or at the West Farms Mall in Farmington, Conn. Another set of Hollywood icons who have coupled their name with a mainstream clothing company this fall are the creators of the AMC show “Mad Men” for Banana Republic. This collection allows those in the workplace to have a complete fedora to stiletto wardrobe
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Entrepreneurs Rhonda Gilbert (left) and Sara Jackson of Divinity in Springfield, Massachusetts recently hosted an outdoor garden jewelry party.
Female professionals hit downtown Springfield, Massachusetts to enjoy the Young Professional Society of Greater Springfields' Salsa Night.
Kelly Holbrook, owner of Simply Divine Beauty Lounge, hosted a coffee and jazz mixer last month.
“NO”
The art of
Why turning away from what you don’t want, will give you more time for what you do want By Crystal Senter Brown
Photo courtesy of Tina Phillips.
My calendar used to be an absolute mess. Every day of the week was filled with an overabundance of activities noted with varying ink colors for each type of commitment. Black or blue ink meant the commitment was workrelated, green ink meant the commitment was side-income related (weddings, poetry performances, etc.), and red ink meant the commitment was family related (doctor’s appointments, school meetings, etc.) As you can imagine, by week’s end I was a basket case. I was always running and always trying to keep up with my schedule. But one day I took a few moments to look at my schedule, and I realized that much of what I had assigned myself to do had nothing to do with me or the goals I had set for my life many years ago. Aside from work-related tasks, I had scheduled lots of other stuff that really didn’t benefit me or my family. I had to think about why I had allowed myself to take on so many activities. What was I trying to prove? And why was I finding it so hard to say no? Part of my problem was that the people who were asking me to do various things were friends or people from the community. They were in a bind, and they needed someone to step up and help out. I wanted to be helpful; but because I have so many contacts, other people’s projects began to spill over into the
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time I needed for myself and my OWN projects. A good friend of mine (and fellow Lioness) put it this way: “If you’re not getting paid to do it, then you need to consider if it is worth using your precious time to do it.” I immediately made a list of all of the tasks I had taken on, and then I decided if they were aligned with my personal or professional goals. If they weren’t, the tasks had to go. What happened next was nothing short of a miracle. As each superfluous task disappeared from my day-planner, suddenly the air was lighter. I could breathe again! I didn’t have that panic of rushing from one meeting to the next; and most importantly, I reclaimed some of the downtime I had so dearly missed. Saying no wasn’t easy by any means, but it freed me up to do the things I most wanted to do. When you are asked to help out with a project, whether it is work-related, church-related or community-related, how do you decide if you will do it? I have discovered an easy way not only to determine if the project was worth doing, but also how to politely say no to the asker. Ask yourself, “If I do this, what will I be giving up?” Imagine that you have been asked to help organize a community tag sale. The time commitment may be one day, or it may be several weeks. If agreeing to help means that you have
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fashion drives us Mad Continued from page 20
Katelyn Gendron is a native of New York, who is currently living and working as a newspaper editor in Western Massachusetts. She is a college-trained journalist and world traveler, who has documented her journeys for various publications spanning five of the seven continents (she plans to visit the remaining two during her lifetime). Her motto: “Life’s a ball. Let’s play!”
straight from the show’s costume designer, Janie Bryant. As with the Ann Taylor collection, “Mad Men” mixes combinations of delicate lace tops with animal print accessories and classic tweed jackets and slacks that accentuate the feminine form without the threat of being too revealing. My particular favorite, which personifies the sultry sophistication of the Mad Men Collection, is the “cigarette pant,” an above-ankle, creased pant with a high waist and invisible zipper. Pair it with some solid colored pumps, a silk, tie neck top and red lipstick, and you’ll be ready for a day on the set or in the office. Check out the Mad Men Collection online or at store locations in Boston, Farmington, Conn., or New York City. If you find yourself moving in the slow lane, be it at work or on your way to the local mall, try pushing the pedal a bit more and see where it takes you. You just might end up finding a mad style all your own.
Tony Gaskins Jr. is a highly sought-after life/relationship coach and motivational speaker. He has appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show and The Tyra Banks Show. Visit www.TonyGaskins.com
STEP UP OR
T
STEP OUT!
here comes a time in a relationship when every woman wants to go to the next level. Dating isn’t enough; you need something more and that’s a life-long commitment. It’s only natural, and you deserve it. A man knows from his first real conversation with you what role he expects you to play in his life. He knows whether he is looking for a friend, a girlfriend, or a wife. Just because he wants you to be one thing doesn’t mean that you can’t become something else. That is determined by how you carry yourself. For example, if he wants a wife but then you sleep with him in the first week, he
nd’s Duties: A Girl Frie ✓Dates ✓Hugs ✓Kisses on ✓Conversati s b ✓Back ru a n ds ✓Holding h gifts ✓Accepting ts only on ✓Giving gif asions special occ
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may put you in the “friends with benefits” category. Or he may be looking for a “friend with benefits,” but you make him wait three months, during which time he falls in love with you and upgrades you to a potential wife. The woman has all the control and dictates what a man will do if he is interested in you. If he’s not interested in you, then he’ll just leave if you don’t give him what he wants and when he wants it. If you’re dating a man and you want more of a commitment, then it’s time to put your foot down. Never give a man the benefits a husband has if you are only his girl friend. That will slow down the maturation process of your relationship. Treat a man like a boyfriend if he is a boyfriend and not like a husband. Pay close attention to the difference in those duties. As a girlfriend, you shouldn’t be doing any of what a wife does if you aren’t his wife. All a man needs to know is that you can perform those tasks, but you don’t have to do them for him to marry you. So if you are a girlfriend but are behaving like a wife, it’s time to pull back. It’s time to change the game up and let him know that there will be no more sex, cooking, and living together. When you do this, you will be forcing that man to step up in your life to give you what you want. If he wants you to be a
A Wife’s D uties: ✓Uncondit ional love ✓Sex on d emand ✓Cooking ✓Cleaning ✓Supportin g ✓Encourag ing ✓Respectin g ✓Forgiving ✓Life long commitmen t wife, he will marry you. I see it happen all the time with the women I coach. If he never intended for you to be his wife, he will leave you for good or try his hardest to get you to change your mind about this new strength you have. I see that happen all the time, too. Today I ask that you love yourself with everything you’ve got. Know what you are worth and what you want and don’t accept anything less. Force that man to step up or step out. It’s time to go to the Next Level!!
the art of “NO” Continued from page 22
Crystal Senter Brown has been a performance poet for most of her life. Born in Morristown, TN she has performed at thousands of events. Her song "Large and Lovely" was nominated for several music awards including the Billboard Music Song Award, Peacedriven Song Award, ASCAP Music Plus Award and the Urban Music Award. Visit www.cystalsenterbrown.com
to devote every Saturday for an entire month to sorting items to sell, you may want to consider responding with “I’d love to help, but I don’t think I can fit such an extended commitment into my schedule. Would it be possible for me to make a cash donation instead?” By offering to make a monetary donation to the cause, you’re showing the asker that you care. More importantly, by donating money INSTEAD of your time, your Saturdays are freed up to spend with your family. A few months ago I went to hear my favorite author, Wally Lamb, speak at a local high school. He said he receives dozens of requests to speak, run workshops, and the like. He decided many years ago that he can only do so much. How does Lamb deal with the myriad of requests he receives? One solution which works for him is to keep an index card with a scripted “sorry but I can’t” response right next to his telephone to recite to the caller when he receives a request he cannot honor. Having a scripted response makes it easier for him to say no, thus providing him with more free time to write and create. Remember, if you don’t look out for yourself, who will? Take control of your life today by adding the word no to your daily vocabulary. As mothers, we don’t have a problem telling our teenager, “No, you may not stay out until 2 a.m.” nor do we have a problem telling our five-year-old, “No, you may not have another cookie.” By using a simple two letter word, we free ourselves up to create the life we always wanted.
next level
For more information on Next Level Development and the Next Level Development Conference for Women of Color, visit urnextlevel.com
Continued from page 17
Dawn: Lioness Magazine is geared toward female entrepreneurs. How do NLD and the NLD conference apply to them? Kim: - a couple of ways. First and foremost, I think there are lots of things that make entrepreneurs successful. The ability to meet people and to sell themselves and whatever it is that they are doing is huge. So, I think the conference and participation in the events allows them to create that network, to meet new people. This year specifically, we have a session designed for entrepreneurs looking to take their business to the next level. It’s being sponsored by Unityfirst.com, Janine Fondon. One of the things I respect about Janine as a business woman is that she meets everyone she possibly can. She takes as many opportunities as she can to leverage and build her relationships across gender, across race, everywhere you look. This session will help people think about how to build networks and where to get resources. But as I said earlier, this isn’t just about how to better in your job or your business; it really is about how to do better in your life. I think that transcends a person’s career choice and professional aspirations. For example, one of the most popular sessions last year was on how to organize your home. Dawn: How can people prepare themselves to come to the conference or even to get to the next level? Kim: People who have enjoyed the conference and NLD events the most have been people who came to get something. They might not
have known exactly what they wanted or how to get what they wanted but they knew they wanted something different. The folks that have been most pleased are the people who were looking for something different in their lives. The way the conference is formatted, the first thing people get is motivation, an opening of the heart. The next piece is the panel of women, which is designed to help people see that other women have similar struggles and to understand that they can do bigger and better things. The third part is the tools – getting the tools to do something different. I always encourage all first time attendees to take our efficacy session. It teaches you how to reprogram your mind because we have so much negative self talk that we often defeat ourselves. Even when someone wants to be helpful or support us sometimes our negative self talk gets in the way of that. Efficacy is really about how to start to look at yourself as a person who can develop. Then there are the other break out sessions that I consider tools and skill building. The last part of the conference is always goal setting. What are you going to do to implement some of these things you’ve thought about? Knowing that you want something different really is the catalyst. Dawn: What else do you want people to know about NLD? Kim: The whole mission of Next Level is to help people along this journey, whatever their journey is. I also want people to know that they have to own it. You own your development, you can’t wait for someone to swoop in and help you with something without taking that first step of acknowledging that you need help. LIONESSS OCTOBER 2011
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New
Phone app Helps women stay safe
L
ast month WatchMe 911 hit the market. It’s an iPhone app that offers women a safety net for the “what ifs” of life. With four customizable alert modes, seven alarm sounds, a flashlight, connection to 911 and contacts by phone, text, email, Facebook and Twitter, WatchMe 911 is touted as the Swiss Army Knife of personal security apps. Its versatility makes it a valuable tool for women on the go, and it offers an added layer of protection in a world that can sometimes be a challenge to your peace of mind and personal security. With the tap of a screen, information is instantly transmitted to those who can help: emergency services and your own network of first responders. "You download WatchMe 911 for the same reasons you have airbags in your car, teach your kids not to talk to strangers and equip your home with smoke detectors -- because accidents happen, emergencies occur, and danger comes in many forms. It pays to be prepared," CEO Alice Armitage said.
WatchMe 911 is offering a free 30-day trial to all its subscription features, including: • MONITOR ME: A timer-activated alert that provides a backup plan for everyday activities like going for a run, meeting a stranger or venturing someplace unfamiliar. • PANIC: A double tap calls 911 and sends contacts text and email alert messages and a map. • I’VE ARRIVED: A convenient way for users to let family, friends and co-workers know they’ve safely arrived at their destination. Sends contacts texts, emails and a map. The app is free to download and the “Call 911 Only” alert is always free. When there’s an emergency and seconds count, you don’t want to be fumbling with a keypad. While manually calling 911 takes 8 taps, it takes just two taps to activate the Call 911 Only alert. There’s no chance of misdialing, and the alert screen stays lit until you call 911 or exit the alert mode.
Continued on page 31 Photo courtesy of Ambro
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The Women Behind WatchMe 911 Jill Campbell and Alice Armitage didn’t get into the world of apps with backgrounds as software developers, venture capitalists or even website entrepreneurs. They didn’t create WatchMe 911 to promote an existing product or to take advantage of an emerging market. But as businesspeople, as women, and as mothers, they recognized the need for a multifunctional personal protection system. When the technology caught up with the need, WatchMe 911 was launched. A few years ago, Campbell was adjusting to life on her own after becoming a widow. “You have a different level of vulnerability
Jill Campbell
during times of transition,” she says today. As principal of Campbell Tax & Financial Services, she tends to the financial health of hundreds of clients and thinks in terms of risk management. It was from that perspective that she began to envision a background monitoring system which would increase her peace of mind without impinging on her independence. To bring the concept to fruition, she partnered with an attorney and client, Alice Armitage. “The idea of a personal security system resonated immediately,” recalls Armitage. But getting it built was anything but immediate. At the time, the technology didn’t exist. With the dawning of the Age of Apps, WatchMe 911 was ready for development. At the Founder Institute, an incubator program for tech startups, Armitage connected with a developer who began translating
Alice Armitage
into coded reality the ideas she and Jill had envisioned. The app was reworked, refined and redesigned. Six years after Campbell first scribbled notes about a personal security system, WatchMe 911 is available for download.
As for the experience of launching a tech company, it’s been like fast-tracking an MBA, says Armitage. But coming from a woman with a collection of degrees, including a BA and MA from Brown University (earned in four years) and a JD from Yale (where she was Editor-in-Chief of the Yale Law Journal), that means it’s been fun.
Ketch a Vibewith
JULIE DEXTER
Ketch a Vibe
Combine the sounds of the Caribbean Islands and the Khoomei-style of the South African coast with those of Afro-Beat, Soul and Bossa-Nova, and the result is the pure, graceful and simple sound of Julie Dexter.
The daughter of Jamaican parents, Julie Dexter was born and raised in Birmingham, England. She was classically trained in music and plays the clarinet and violin. Dexter was introduced to jazz at the University of Virginia where she participated in a student exchange program. Upon graduation from her studies in England, she relocated to Atlanta, Georgia, where she was first exposed to the genre of soul music. Her first single based on that influence was “Ketch a Vibe” which was released in 1999 and eventually became the name of her own recording label. Julie released her first EP in 2000 titled Peace of Mind, followed by Dexterity in 2002 and Conscious in 2005. She collaborated with Khari Simmons to create 2007’s Moon Bossa. Her single “Ketch a Vibe” was also featured in national radio ads for then Democratic Presidential candidate Barack Obama. Her latest album, New Again, is a refreshing and inspiring album produced entirely by Dexter herself and Steve “Miggedy” Maestro, a Chicago DJ and producer. This album is about being renewed; its title track and Julie’s favorite, “Rebirth,” are good examples of that. “With faith and a good foundation these key elements can help support your rebirth and are the keys of success,” she states. Julie is a wife and mother of two, a six year old and an eight
Continued on page 35 LIONESSS OCTOBER 2011
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Mara Hunter 32, is a multi-talented individual with the gift to create expressive pieces. This single mother of three is a native of Springfield, MA via Jacksonville, FL. She’s a Freelance Writer, Staff Music Journalist for Total Eclipse Magazine, Contributing Writer for Lioness Magazine, as well as a poet and dancer. Visit www.MaraHunter.blogspot.com
Ketch a Vibe
month old. She’s an entrepreneur in her own right. She owns her own recording label and manages her own career. Dexter’s eclectic sound comes from a variety of influences, from Nancy Wilson, Sade, and Bob Marley to the Beatles’ John Lennon and Paul McCarthy. “I’m all about collaborations that make magic happen. Combinations of amazing voices and strong backdrops of the bands help create greatness and fresh, signature sounds. Individuals like Luther Vandross, Esperanza Spalding and Omar bring a fullness of great music, message and style that just puts a smile on my face,” says Julie. If you ask Julie Dexter what it’s like to be a singer/songwriter who owns her own recording label, she’ll tell you this: “It’s a lot of work to build your name, but if you don’t get up and do it, you won’t see any results. Y ou have so many choices, so sift through it all. Be clever and wise in your decisions…and 99.99 percent of the time, you’ll make it. If you’re not willing to work, this is not the business for you.” She goes on to say, “I think the people who are most successful are the ones who dare to stand out and be different. Don’t be afraid to be yourself. Brand yourself, be a commodity to your business. Know your audience and your worth. Learn how to network and socialize.” Julie currently lives in Atlanta and is promoting her latest album with an East Coast tour. Her touring will continue in her native country of England. She continually finds herself writing and perfecting her ‘Julie Dexter sound’ and has already starting working on her next album. This musically gifted artist is doing what she does with a freedom that flows like the waves she describes in her first hit record, “Ketch a Vibe.” To find out more on Julie Dexter and her latest tour dates, visit her website at www.JulieDexter.com