kitchen coquette 12 days of christmas magazine
Hello there, Christmas is upon us. This means presents, drinks, snacks, canapés, taking plates, eating, drinking, and eating and drinking. Followed by more eating and drinking. And kitchen disasters. For some of us, Christmas is the ultimate excuse for serious “I am a chef” cookery, but for the rest of us, there are some decisions that loom larger than all others: how/what/why/ when/where is the valium and do I have to cook. Again. Never fear. In celebration of the launch of Kitchen Coquette across our nation’s fine shelves, we’ve put together some festive shenanigans of the culinary variety and some tips for a stellar Christmas. The idea being to litter the table with a whole bunch of tasty goods to be snaffled while the cook (you) finds five minutes to sneak off with the bottle of gin and enjoy the true festivities of the season. And because we like you and we want you to like Kitchen Coquette, we are using shameless marketing tactics and giveaways to encourage you into our sordid world of frenzied feeding. Like Hallmark and Mattel, we are on the 12 days of Christmas gravy train – menus, hints and tips for Christmas and some giveaways that are de-light-ful. Some shelf-esteem for your cookbook collection, some holiday reads, and some find threads selected specifically to hide your Christmas food baby or see you take out the best-dressed award come two-5 December. Howdya like them Christmas crackers?
Let the noshing begin.
a guide for gatherings Canapes or ‘stand up’ foods in catering speak are always considered the supporting act at Christmas soirees; people pensively penched forward on your couch, or weirdly crossing their legs in case the turkey comes out like their favourite band right at the moment they’re visiting the loo, making the starters feel like something you have to endure rather than enjoy. However I am minded to suggest making them the only thing that pass peoples lips. The star of the show. I need not remind you just how hot Christmas day can be and bite-sized delights are the perfect remedy to that overbearing heat.
Lobster brioche rolls
Aaahhh the joys of Christmas. No presents, presents for all or secret santa. Tree or no tree. And lets not forget the wee list of religious components potentially on the menu; Hindus don’t eat beef. They worship the animals. The Muslims don’t eat pork. The Buddhists are vegetarians and the Jains are strict vegans who wouldn’t dream of uprooting a vegetable for fear of damaging a plant. I have been brought up with respect and tolerance but I will turn in the face of any religion/deity/picky eater that tells me I can’t eat lobster. Suckling sweet fresh lobster meat straight from the shell, my hands smelling faintly of the sea for hours afterwards – now that is the sort of religion I am bang up for. Particularly if said lobster meat is housed on duck fat roasted brioche. Amen to that.
Ingredients 350g lobster meat, cooked ½ cup Japanese mayonnaise 1 brioche, sliced, cut into flat rounds using a 7cm cookie cutter 2 tbsp duck fat Juice and rind of 1 lemon 1 tsp truffle oil
Combine the lobster, coriander, Japanese mayonnaise, truffle oil, lemon rind and juice in bowl and stir gently to combine. Season to taste. Place a fry pan over medium heat, brush both sides of the brioche rounds with the duck fat and fry lightly until warmed through and golden. Top brioche round with a dessertspoon of the lobster mix and top with extra coriander, and serve warm. If you are concerned about the safety of hand to mouth action, top with another brioche round and serve more like a sandwich.
Oysters with Pimms Granita
Pimms. Perfect for Christmas. It’s summery. And it’s a little bit posh in an English garden sort of sense inspiring top hats, polo matches and games of croquet on the lawn. Also let’s not forget it tastes delightful, making it the perfect partner for oysters as they slide down the hatch.
Ingredients 1 cup Pimms ½ cup lemonade 24 Oysters, shucked 1 cucumber, sliced into fine ribbons on a mandolin Finely grated rind of ½ orange 1 tbsp finely grated lemon rind ¼ cup fresh mint leaves, finely chopped Crushed ice to serve
Combine the Pimms and lemonade in a freezer-proof container and place in the freezer for 6 hours or until frozen solid. Prior to serving, combine the cucumber, orange rind, lemon rind and mint leaves in a bowl and toss to combine.
Duck Bites
No betel leaves are not related to the betel nut, so your weird uncle can’t go a little mad mid-canapé and start pretending the shrub out front is mistletoe whilst accosting your neighbours for some Christmas day shenanigans.
Ingredients 4 duck breasts, skin on 3 tbsp palm sugar 2 tbsp fish sauce 24 betel leaves 2 ruby red grapefruit, peeled and segmented 1 large red chilli, seeded and very finely chopped ½ cup mint leaves ½ cup coriander leaves ¼ cup fried shallots
Heat a frying pan over medium-high heat. Add the duck, skin side down and cook for 10 minutes or until the fat has rendered and the skin is crisp. Turn over and cook for an additional 3-5 minutes or until just cooked through. Remove from heat, allow to rest then thinly slice on the diagonal. Combine the chilli, herbs, and fried onion in a bowl and toss to combine. Add the palm sugar and fish sauce to a saucepan and place over medium heat. Cook until the palm sugar has melted and the mixture is starting to caramelize and thicken. Remove from heat and toss through the duck slices. Cover and set aside. Lay out the betel leaves. Place a segment of grapefruit on each leaf, top with a slice of duck and a little of the salad mix. Top with extra fried shallots if using. Repeat with remaining betel leaves and duck mix. Serve warm. Makes 24
Betel leaf - rarer than hens teeth which is crazy considering it grows like a weed in some parts of Asia. The botanic name is Piper longum sy. P. sarmentosum; comm. name La lot, Vietnamese name. Look for it in Asian vegetable shops and if you find some, pop the cuttings in a glass of water and they’ll be producing roots in no time.
Mulled wine sorbet with fresh berries
Ingredients 180g caster sugar 1 tbsp liquid glucose 600ml sparkling shiraz or a rose zest of 1 orange 2 tsp ground cinnamon 2 tsp ground cloves 1 tsp ground nutmeg 500g raspberries 500g blueberries
For sorbet, stir the sugar, glucose and 100ml water in a saucepan over medium heat until the sugar has dissolved. Remove from heat and add to a bowl with the sparkling wine. Freeze in an ice cream machine according to instructions or pour into a freezer-proof bowl and cover well with wrap to prevent icing. Freeze until solid. To serve, divide mixed berries among serving vessels. Top with a scoop of sorbet and serve immediately. Serves 12
Pasito, kaffir lime and beef-eater gin icy-poles
Ingredients 750ml bottle of Pasito 150ml beef -eater gin 6 kaffir lime leaves, finely shredded Âź cup mint, finely chopped Flesh of 6 passionfruit
Combine all ingredients in a large pouring jug and stir gently to combine. Pour into the ice block moulds and freeze for at least 4 hours. Serve on ice to stop them from melting and wasting your gin.
Pasito, kaffir lime
&
beef-eater gin
icy poles
Fruit mince doughnuts
Why? Because somewhere along the way, doughnuts became politically incorrect. which is crazy. they taste amazing. with all the foods in the world, what could be so wrong with a little batter, a little deep fry and a little sugar to coat... Ingredients Doughnuts 7g dry yeast ½ cup warm milk 1 ½ cups all-purpose flour, divided, plus additional for dusting 1 large egg 2 tsp butter 4 tsp sugar ½ tsp salt Dusting sugar Caster sugar Mixed spice Mixed fruit 1 cup mixed fruit Liberal dose of rum 1 tablespoon mixed spice
Add the yeast and milk to a bowl and stand until foamy. Fold through ¾ cup flour until combined. Cover and set aside to rest in a draftfree place at room temperature until doubled in size and you see bubbles appear across the surface. This usually takes 1 hour. Mix in the egg, butter, sugar, sale and remaining flour until combined then work the dough (it will be pretty sticky) until smooth. Cover again and let stand for another hour. Using tablespoon of dough mixture at a time, flatten the dough into a disk, top with 2 teaspoons of the fruit mince and enclose to create a ball (about golf ball size), press down to flatten slightly and set aside on a tray. Repeat with remaining dough and fruit mince. Heat a liberal amount of vegetable oil in a deep fryer or a deep frying pan. When hot (test with a pinch of bread - it should turn immediately golden) cook the doughnuts, turning a few times for even cooking until golden brown and crisp. Remove and drain on paper towel then toss in the dusting sugar mix. Serve warm.
food gifts The impression you get from the Christmas hype is that huge families with huge budgets are swanning about in their mansions giving each other diabolically expensive gifts while swilling French vintage champagne. But we know this isn’t true and that an often highly understated gift is one made with love, and care, and some tasty ingredients. Food gifts suit all pockets, small and large, and show time and effort and love in a way no overpriced gift packaged in a box made in China ever can. Do not underestimate what a humble jar of sweet chilli sauce or a Christmas pud can bring to a Christmas soiree.
Sweet Chilli Sauce
Ingredients
Soak the sultanas in the vinegar until plump and juicy.
125g red chillies, seeded and roughly chopped 125g sultanas 180ml white vinegar 3 garlic cloves 30g fresh ginger Heavy pinch of salt 180ml water 350g sugar
Add the water and sugar to a saucepan and place over medium high heat and cook until sugar dissolves. Blend all other ingredients in a food processor then add to the boiling sugar syrup. Reduce the heat and simmer until a thick syrup like consistency is achieved.
Asian spice rub
Ingredients 3 tbsp fried shallots 6 kaffir lime leaves, veins removed Âź cup sea salt 1 tbsp dried chilli flakes 1 tbsp dried garlic 1 tbsp coriander seed, roughly ground
Preheat the oven to 180C. Place the kaffir lime leaves on a baking tray and dry in the oven for 10 – 15 minutes. Coarsely tear into a bowl and add the remaining ingredients. Toss to combine. Place in an airtight container for maximum freshness.
Middle eastern chocolate bars 1 cup dried cranberries 1 tbsp rosewater 250g each mix of white, milk and dark coverture chocolate Ÿ cup dried rose petals ½ cup almond cocoons ½ cup pistachio nuts, roughly chopped Combine the rosewater and cranberries in a bowl and set aside. Melt the chocolate in a heatproof bowl over a saucepan of simmering water. Gently spoon the mixture into chocolate moulds. Sprinkle over the rosewater cranberries, rose petals, almond cocoons and pistachio nuts. Place in the fridge to set. Crack from the moulds and store in airtight containers.
Cumquat, white chocolate and rosemary financiers 250g butter 130g ground almonds 110g plain flour 1 tsp baking soda 1 tbsp fresh rosemary, leaves finely chopped 220g icing sugar 6 egg whites 1/8 cup cumquat juice 1 tsp orange blossom water 100g coverture white chocolate, melted 3 cumquats, finely sliced Traditionally financiers use beurre noissette (brown butter) which does add a wonderful nutty taste so add your butter to a small saucepan and melt over low to medium heat until brown in colour. Remove and allow to cool. Combine all the dry ingredients in a bowl. Whisk the egg whites to soft peak and gently pour in the dry ingredients and whisk until just combined. Add the butter, white chocolate, cumquat juice and orange blossom water and gently whisk to combine. Gently spoon the mixture into a petit four tin until almost full, or half fill a small muffin pan halfway, and bake in the oven for 30 minutes or until golden and a skewer inserted in the centre comes out clean. Allow to cool before packaging. These are best given on the day but can last up to 3 days with a quick warm up in the oven just prior to eating
the christmas letter Don’t get me wrong, I do love to find out how the people I care about have spent their year; the wins, the achievements and the new offspring additions are important. Truly they are. I’m just not sure, after a harrowing year of being tired, broke and overworked that I want to read a letter to find out. Perhaps we could go wild and be social beings and catch up for a drink so you can tell me about it in person, rather than starting your very personal story with a “dear all”. Or if you must send me a letter, mix it up a little. A haiku perhaps. I think the world is definitely in short supply of a Christmas haiku. Christmas letters would be so much better received if you could summise the year in 17 syllables. Sue great Fred divorced. Secretary is pregnant Dog now man of house. You see… Brief. Concise. Slightly evocative. Instead of wondering if it’s ok to use your letter to clean the windows with the Windex before the in-laws pop round, it leaves me wanting to know more. And why don’t the bogans write us a Christmas note? Instead of hearing about Jane’s PHD I would find it quite hilarious to read about Mercedes flagrant use of her health care card, or her exciting booze-fuelled trip to the Gold Coast thanks to the frequent flyer points she racked up using her G.E money card. Or maybe the best thing would be if you could be a bit honest, and pepper your letter with the not so great highlights. I will find both you and your letter far less sanctimonious and much more endearing.
Or
Anyway, Merry Christmas, best wishes and may santa slide down your chimney and all of that. yadyayadyada‌ Love me and mine xo
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even the not so good bookstores
marinades Cleopatra used to bathe in milk and it paid off – her skin was the talk of the town and lets remember Botox was not an option in Roman times. So it pays off in spades, for the hesitant cook to give your protein a royal long-soaking bath in something tasty. It’s a few minutes of sloshing things together then a bit of idle twiddling of the thumbs before ordinary becomes extraordinary. Other than suffering from kitchen lethargy at Christmas there are very real reasons to marinate: to tenderize texture and to embrace and heighten flavour. Marinades are a delightful combo of tangy, slightly acidic ingredients, flavourings such as herbs and spices, and usually a good dollop of oil. Dollop is the key word here – oil lubricates and gives a delightful texture. Also while I am handing out advice, I suggest going easy on the booze – alcohol can pickle the meat so add this at the end so as not to leech out the juices. The key is to let flavours intensify without swallowing the meat or fish (think Cleopatra prune skin after too long navel gazing in her milk). You still want to taste what you are eating so I suggest aborting all those marinate for 24hr propositions and do it for say, as long as it take to have a good bath….
Char grilled palm sugar and lemongrass: Duck 20g lemongrass, coarsely grated 20g piece ginger, coarsely grated 1 red chilli, seeded and finely chopped 10g galangal, coarsely grated 3 cloves, garlic Âź cup palm sugar, chopped 250ml sweet soy sauce 1 tbsp fish sauce
Pound lemongrass, ginger, chilli, galangal and garlic to a paste using a mortar and pestle (or blitz in a food processor). Add sugar and pound to combine. Transfer to a bowl, add soy sauce and fish sauce. Strain into a small saucepan and simmer over medium heat until a thick, glaze consistency is achieved. Spread a quarter of the marinade over the duck and marinate over night.
Caramelised Chipotle glaze: Chicken (Taken from page 194 of Kitchen Coquette) 2 tablespoon olive oil 1 onion, finely chopped 5 garlic cloves, finely chopped 800g roma tomatoes 300ml orange juice 300ml chicken stock 85g tinned chipotle chillis 75g soft brown sugar
Heat the oil in a large frying pan over medium heat, add the onion and garlic and sautĂŠ for 7-10 minutes, or until caramelized. Add the remaining ingredients and reduce the heat to low. Cover and cook, stirring occasionally for 30 minutes until the sauce thickens. Remove from the heat and blitz in a food processor until thick and smooth. Pour over your chicken, baste.
Plum and soy marinade: Lamb (Taken from page 173 of Kitchen Coquette) 125ml soy sauce 1/2 tbsp worcestershire sauce 1/2 tbsp English mustard 160g plum jam 2 tbsp sesame seeds
Combine soy sauce, Worcestershire sauce mustard and plum jam in a bowl and stir until the jam breaks down and a thick sauce-like texture is achieved. Season with salt and pepper. Spread over the lamb and sprinkle on the sesame seeds. Baste as you cook.
Peppercorn and bourbon marinade: Pork 2 1/2 tsp mixed peppercorns (such as black, pink, and white peppercorns) 3 whole cloves 1 tsp cinnamon 1/2 cup bourbon 1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons brown sugar 1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons soy sauce 1/4 cup orange juice 1 tbsp lemon zest 1 tbsp lemon juice
To make the glaze, toast the peppercorns and cloves in a medium pan. Cool the peppercorns, then grind them with the cloves and cinnamon to a fine powder. Mix the spices with the bourbon, brown sugar, soy sauce, orange juice, lemon zest, and lemon juice. Bring to a boil and reduce until thick and syrupy, about 15 minutes. Spread generously over the pork about half way through cooking time (you don’t want the caramel to burn). Baste as you cook
Maple and tamarind glaze: Beef 1 tbsp coriander seeds 1/2 tbsp black peppercorns 1/4 cup pure maple syrup 1/2 cup beef stock 2 tbsp finely chopped ginger 2 tbsp tamarind pulp
Heat a dry small frying pan over medium heat until hot, then toast coriander, shaking pan occasionally, until fragrant and a shade darker, for about 3 minutes. Transfer to a bowl to cool. Toast peppercorns in same manner. Grind toasted spices to a powder in grinder or with a mortar and pestle. Stir together maple syrup, beef stock, ginger, and tamarind pulp in a small heavy saucepan and simmer until reduced to a coating consistency, for about 10 minutes. Add salt and toasted spices to taste, then keep warm, covered.
Fig and walnut glaze: Turkey 125ml Worcestershire sauce 160g fig jam 2 tbsp balsamic vinegar ž cup walnuts toasted and roughly chopped
Combine Worcestershire sauce, vinegar, and fig jam in a bowl and stir until the jam breaks down and a thick sauce-like texture is achieved. Season with salt and pepper. Spread over the turkey and sprinkle on the walnuts. Baste as you cook.
g n i m m Ha It Up
How to ca rve a ham . A step-by -step guid e.
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12 days of
christmas giveaways How to Win Now before you accost the comment button, there are a few teeny things you have to do to win a prize. Each day, starting December 1, there will be a prize post on the Kitchen Coquette Facebook page detailing what you might need to do. Be it liking our friends on Facebook or visiting a website to pick the best Christmas day dress, they are all easy peasy things that will take no more than 30 seconds of your time. We’ll also post the competition details for each day on the blog the other crumb. On 13th December, 12 winners will be drawn at random and your prizes quickly sent to you in time for Christmas. Problems jumping on facebook but want to get involved? Email info@ thelittlecrumb.com.au and we can help you be part of the giveaway goodness. Enjoy and good luck.
1. Kick of the silly season with a mixed dozen of La Boheme wines from the fine vines of Debortoli, Yarra Valley. 2. Fictional splendour and coffee table adornments from authors and creative wonders at Allen & Unwin. Win Bondi Republic, by Andy Hoyne & Ali Nasseri Gillian Mear’s Foal’s Bread, Roxy Jacenko’s Strictly Confidential and Kate Morton’s Forgotten Hours 3. 2 x Sosume modal and silk jersey tees. Sourced from a high end Japanese mill that specializes in luxury jersey. Try not to spill Christmas lunch down your front. 4. Shelf esteem for your cookbook collection including Kitchen Coquette, Manna from Heaven, Buon Ricardo, Eating for the Seasons and Hopscotch and Honey Joys 5. Win a case of Williams Pale Ale thanks to Debortoli Wines 6. Intriguing reads from happiness zines to Anthony Bourdains tell all Kitchen Secrets and cooking delights including Heston at Home and Kitchen Coquette 7. $100 voucher to spend online at the phenomenal All About The Dress. www.allaboutthedress.com.au 8. Thirsty? Enjoy a mixed dozen of delights of the vino variety thanks to Debortoli in the Yarra Valley. 9. A mixed bag of tricks to get your kitchen/books/life in order. Kitchen Coquette, book plates, notebooks, a happiness companion and more. 10. Mixed bag: A stocking filler surprise from books and wine to jersey tees and Venezuelan chocolate. 11. $100 voucher to spend online at All About the Dress www.allaboutthedress.com.au 12. 4 x copies of Kitchen Coquette = Christmas sorted.
Brunch
Rosewater Yoghurt with Middle-Eastern Granola Squid ink couscous with smoked salmon and poached egg Smoked bacon and eggs in brioche with saffron and tomato relish Affogato
Rosewater Yoghurt with middle –eastern Granola
From page 161 of Kitchen Coquette Preheat the oven to 170°C (325°F/Gas 3). Line 450g (1 1/2 cups) rolled oats 175g apple puree two baking trays with baking paper. For the 2 tsp ground cardamom granola, combine the rolled oats, apple puree, 1 tsp ground ginger ground spices, golden syrup, honey, sugar and 1 tsp ground cumin pistachios in a large bowl and mix with your 2 tsp ground cinnamon hands to ensure everything is evenly coated. 120g golden syrup Spread the mixture onto the prepared trays 115g (1/3 cup) honey and toast for 20–25 minutes. Remove from the 100g soft brown sugar oven, stir and return to the oven for a further 250g unsalted pistachio nuts, 20–25 minutes until fragrant and an even lightly crushed golden colour. Allow to cool. Stir in the dried 100g dried figs, roughly chopped fruits and coconut. 100g dried strawberries, roughly Combine the saffron threads and rosewater in chopped a bowl and set aside for 5 minutes to infuse. 100g coconut chips
Yoghurt a pinch of saffron threads 2 tbsp rosewater 800g (1 lb 12 oz) Greek yoghurt 1 tsp ground cinnamon 1 tsp ground cumin 1 vanilla bean, split lengthways and seeds scraped
Mix the yoghurt with the cinnamon, cumin and vanilla and stir into the infused rosewater. Refrigerate until required. Serve the granola and a healthy dollop of rosewater-infused yoghurt.
Squid ink couscous with smoked salmon and poached egg
From page 164 of Kitchen Coquette 500g Israeli couscous 2–3 tsp squid ink 1 tsp olive oil sea salt and freshly ground black pepper 6 eggs 60 ml (1/4 cup) white vinegar 450g smoked salmon 45g (1 cup) baby rocket 3 lemons halved, to serve
Cook the couscous in boiling water according to the packet instructions. Drain and return to the pan. Add the squid ink and olive oil, then stir well until the ink has evenly coated the grains, Season with salt and pepper. While the couscous is cooking, poach the eggs. Fill a large frying pan with water and bring to the boil over medium heat. Reduce the heat to low and stir in the vinegar. Crack one egg into a coffee cup and then gently transfer the egg to the simmering water. Repeat with two more eggs. Cook the eggs for 3 minutes, or until the whites are set but the yolks are still runny. Using a slotted spoon, carefully remove the eggs and set on paper towels to drain. Repeat with the remaining eggs. Place a large spoonful of couscous on a plate, top with a few rocket leaves and then layer over the salmon. Top with a poached egg. Season with salt and pepper and serve immediately with fresh lemon.
Double-smoked bacon and eggs in brioche with saffron and tomato relish
1 large brioche roll 6 eggs 6 rashers smoked bacon, fried Hollandaise (optional) 200g butter 2 tbsp white wine vinegar 3 egg yolks Juice of 1 lemon Relish 100ml vegetable oil 2 small red capsicum 50ml olive oil 8 eschalots, finely chopped 3 cloves garlic 2 red chillies, seeds removed and finely chopped 4 roma tomatoes, blanched and seeded, finely chopped pinch saffron threads 40ml white wine Salt and pepper to season
Preheat the oven to 180C. Add the vegetable oil to a roasting tray, add the capsicum and turn to coat. Place in the oven, turning occasionally, for about 5 minutes or until blistered all over. Cool, peel and remove seeds. Finely dice and set aside. Soak the saffron in the wine for 30 minutes. Heat the olive oil in a saucepan over low heat. Add the eschalot and sweat until translucent, about 10 minutes. Add the garlic, chilli, capsicum and tomatoes and cook, stirring regularly for 1 hour until softened and the liquid has been absorbed. Soak the saffron in the wine for 30 minutes. Add to the pan and cook for 5 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Cut 6 thick slices from brioche and use an 8cm-diameter cutter to cut a hole in the centre of each slice (discard cut pieces). Line the inside of each hole with smoked bacon. Heat a third of the butter in a large ovenproof frying pan over medium heat until foaming. Place 2 brioche slices in pan and cook until golden (1 minute). Turn over, crack an egg into each hole, season to taste and bake in oven until egg just sets (3-4 minutes). Keep warm and repeat with remaining butter, brioche, bacon and eggs. Transfer to serving plates and serve immediately with saffron and tomato relish and the hollandaise if using.
Serves 6
Affogato
6 shots of espresso (30ml per shot) 4 scoops vanilla gelato 4 scoops dark chocolate gelato 4 scoops coffee gelato 1 handful chocolate covered coffee beans ½ cup crumbled dark chocolate (70% cocoa)
Add gelato to a cup or serving vessel of choice. Pour over the espresso and top with shaved chocolate, nuts or whatever takes your whim.
Postprandial somnolence
aka ham coma Christmas, the birthday of Jesus yes, but also a time for other landmark events like over eating, over-catering and the obligatory overdose of ham. Ooh the marinating, braising, glazing and the episodes of gluttony it provides for days afterwards, make schlepping 8kg of pig in a dinky little canvas bag home to take hostage of your fridge that much more worthwhile. But unlike other episodes of over-eating, the ham coma is a game changer. Yes it has been days since you felt genuine hunger but getting through the ham becomes an imperative. Not to over-eat ham would be an act of willful, superstitious stupidity on a par with deliberately “going on a diet” before January 1 because you felt that the chance for success was higher There is only so long left overs can survive before they get the kind of marinade you didn’t make…I know, crazy but it’s not actually cloves. It’s mould. So best to go on a ham frenzy making pea and ham soup; slivers or cubes fried and topped with egg; bubble n squeak; wraps; quiche; omelettes; fritters; frittata; green eggs and ham; pizza; salad; terrine; tartlets; welsh rarebit; croque monsieur; melba toasts; sandwiches; pies; muffins; pasta bake… Meh my face hurts.
But there is a shining light at the end of the tunnel. Utilise our tips for surviving the ham coma and know this - the knife will eventually hit bone and the ham-bag will become light once more.
How to survive the ham coma: Don’t be alarmed. Doctors induce comas as a mechanism to increase survival. Draw comfort from this. Wikipedia suggests “bending over forwards, putting your head at heart level, to help the flow of blood (and therefore oxygen) to your brain. Do this every few minutes until the drowsiness begins to pass”. We suggest ignoring this Wikipedia has obviously never had a ham coma. Anything other than lying flat, preferably in front of a fan, would result in the projection of ham on carpet, and the sort of athletic prowess not found in true Christmas gluttons. Pay attention to the bread. Good meat deserves an equally worthy carrier. Sourdough or something equally dense means you can blame the bread not the ham for the niggling food particle at the back of your throat waiting for the traffic jam to clear. Organise a post-christmas picnic and offload your ham on others, “third blanket from the sun” style. Ham contains an amino acid called tryptophan, which many think induces sleep. Many more than that think its bullshit, but crack on, you are suffering after all. Wear clothing that allows the ham food baby room to breathe. Give your newly acquired bub a decent space to roll around and experience the world. They say that is important for development. Remind yourself, when you are gasping to breathe comfortably, that ham is often salt-riddled. And that people with rare kidney diseases can become salt-deficient, sick and dizzy. And because of mistakes in drug treatments some salt deficiencies cause lapses into stupor or even an actual real, not food-induced coma. You owe it to your health and wellbeing. And the poor doctors working over Christmas. Eat that damn ham. Eat it.
A Floral Affair
Serrano, wild flower and goats curd salad with fig and balsamic dressing Spaghettini with zucchini flower, grilled haloumi and sumac butter Citrus and rose-crusted lamb roast Hibiscus flower chocolate tarts with wild willow meringue
Serrano, wild flower and goats curd salad with fig and balsamic dressing
Salad 250g Serrano ham 100g edible flowers ½ cup goats curd 2 cups wild rocket 1 red onion, finely sliced Dressing 3 tbsp fig jam 1 tbsp balsamic glaze Juice of ½ lemon 2 tbsp olive oil
Preheat the oven to 220C. Place the garlic cloves in a small ovenproof dish and roast for 30 minutes, or until soft and golden. For the crust mixture add the panko, butter, orange zest, orange juice, rose petals, garlic cloves mustard, thyme and rose water in a food processor. Pulse until combined and season with salt and pepper. Roll out the crust between 2 sheets of baking paper until about 1 cm thick and refrigerate until firm. Reduce the oven temperature to 200C. Season the lamb loin with salt and pepper. Heat a sauté pan over high heat. Add the lamb and sear for 5 minutes on each side, until well browned. Place the lamb loin in a roasting dish and cook in the oven for 10 – 15 minutes for medium rare. Remove from the oven and gently transfer the crust from the baking paper over the top of the loin. Gently press around the lamb and return to the oven and cook to desired doneness. (The crust should not bake for longer than 5 minutes.) Let the lamb rest for a few minutes before serving.
Angel Hair Pasta with zucchini flower, grilled haloumi and sumac butter
Cook pasta in boiling salted water until al 300g angel hair pasta 250g haloumi, dente, then drain and set aside in a large bowl. cut into 2.5cm cubes Place a fry pan over medium heat and add the 4 cloves garlic, finely chopped haloumi and fry until brown and soft. Remove 6 zucchini flowers, stamen and add to the bowl of pasta. Add the zucchini removed and roughly chopped flowers and garlic to the fry pan and cook for ½ cup each firmly packed mint, 1 minute or until just cooked. Add to the pasta coriander, flat-leaf parsley with the chopped herbs, pine nuts, red onion and coarsely torn and sultanas. Ÿ cup pine nuts, toasted For the sumac butter, add the butter to a fry 1 red onion, finely sliced pan over medium heat and cook, watching 80g Sultanas (use cranberries closely, until brown in colour. Remove from or raisins if you would prefer)
Sumac Butter 1 tbsp sumac 3 tbsp butter Zest and juice of 1 lemon 1 tbsp olive oil
heat and add the sumac, lemon juice and rind and olive oil. Pour over the pasta and toss to combine. Season and serve warm.
Citrus and rose-crusted lamb loin
3 garlic cloves 1/2 cup panko bread crumbs 1/4 cup plus 1 tablespoon softened unsalted butter 1 tbsp orange zest Juice from half of an orange 1 tbsp dried rose petals 1/2 tbsp Dijon mustard 1 tsp fresh thyme leaves Dash of rose water (optional) Salt and pepper to taste 1 boneless lamb loin (700g)
Preheat the oven to 220C. Place the garlic cloves in a small ovenproof dish and roast for 30 minutes, or until soft and golden. For the crust mixture add the panko, butter, orange zest, orange juice, rose petals, garlic cloves mustard, thyme and rose water in a food processor. Pulse until combined and season with salt and pepper. Roll out the crust between 2 sheets of baking paper until about 1 cm thick and refrigerate until firm. Reduce the oven temperature to 200C. Season the lamb loin with salt and pepper. Heat a sautÊ pan over high heat. Add the lamb and sear for 5 minutes on each side, until well browned. Place the lamb loin in a roasting dish and cook in the oven for 10 – 15 minutes for medium rare. Remove from the oven and gently transfer the crust from the baking paper over the top of the loin. Gently press around the lamb and return to the oven and cook to desired doneness. (The crust should not bake for longer than 5 minutes.) Let the lamb rest for a few minutes before serving.
Hibiscus flower chocolate tarts with wild willow meringue
Wild willow water. Is it a touch wanky? Completely. But it sounds so pretty doesn’t it, like Maeve Gibbs and the gumnuts have bee invited to Christmas. Don’t fret if you can’t find it, I am sure you could suffice with a touch of orange blossom water or just a vanilla bean seeded and stirred through. Tarts 600g chocolate shortcrust pastry 350g roughly chopped good-quality dark chocolate (70% cocoa solids) 250g unsalted butter 3 eggs 7 egg yolks 75g caster sugar Meringue 170g caster sugar 2 tbsp wild willow water 2 eggwhites Pinch cream of tartar Hibiscus flowers in rose syrup to serve
Preheat the oven to 150C. Roll out the pastry and line 10 buttered individual tart tins with the pastry and blind bake for 10 minutes. Remove and allow to cool. Put the chocolate and butter in a heatproof bowl over a saucepan of simmering water and allow to melt, stirring occasionally, until smooth. Allow to cool. In the bowl of an electric mixer, whisk the eggs and egg yolks with the sugar until thick and pale. Carefully fold into the cooled chocolate mixture. Pour into the prepared pastry case and bake for 15 – 20 minutes. Remove from heat and allow to cool. For the meringue, add the sugar, wild willow water and two tablespoons water to a small saucepan and place over high heat. Cook until sugar dissolves and temperature reaches 121C on a sugar thermometer. Meanwhile whisk the eggwhites and cream of tartar on high. Slowly add the sugar syrup and beat until the mixture returns to room temperature. Using a spoon dollop the meringue on top of the chocolate tarts and use a blow torch to cook the tops. Place a hibiscus flower on top and drizzle over some of the rose syrup. Serve cool.
Seaside Delight
Drunken scallops with ponzu granita Reef fish curry Peanut butter chocolate Eton mess
Drunken scallops with ponzu granita
From page 124 of Kitchen Coquette Ingredients Ponzu granita 120ml (1/2 cup) mirin 120ml (1/2 cup) soy sauce 120ml (1/2 cup) sake 4 tbsp fresh or bottled yuzu juice (substitute with lemon juice at a pinch) 2 tsp sugar 120ml (1/2 cup) water Filling 10–20 scallops, in the shell 2 chorizo sausages, finely chopped sea salt and freshly ground black pepper a small handful of coriander (cilantro), finely chopped Butter sauce 50g (1 3/4 oz) butter, roughly chopped 60ml (2 fl oz/1/4 cup) sake 1 small garlic clove, very finely chopped
For the granita, combine the ingredients in a freezer-proof container and stir until the sugar dissolves. Cover and transfer to the freezer for an hour, or until frozen. For the butter sauce, melt the butter in a small saucepan over medium heat. Add the sake and garlic and sautĂŠ for 5 minutes until fragrant. Pour half the butter into a frying pan and heat over medium heat. Add the finely chopped chorizo sausage and cook until brown. Add the coriander, toss to combine and remove from the pan and keep warm. Remove the ponzu granita from the freezer, scrape with a fork to lighten the texture and spoon into two glasses. Return to the freezer until ready to serve. Gently remove the scallops from the shell. Pour the remaining butter into the pan and fry the scallops for 1 minute per side or cooked to your liking. Place a teaspoon of chopped chorizo meat on the scallop shell. Top with the cooked scallop. Repeat with remaining chorizo and scallops. Serve the scallops hot with the granita on the side.
reef fish
curry
reef fish curry
From page 32 of Kitchen Coquette Ingredients 150g (5 1/2 oz/3/4 cup) jasmine rice 4 x 160g (5 3/4 oz) blue eye or other firm white fish fillets
Salad dressing 100ml (3 1/2 fl oz) white vinegar 80g (2 3/4 oz) sugar 185ml (6 fl oz/3/4 cup) fish sauce
Curry paste Step 1 3 dried long red chillies 3 red Asian shallots, finely chopped. 4 garlic cloves, roughly smashed. 3 lemongrass stems, white part only, finely chopped. 2 tbsp finely chopped galangal 1/4 cup finely chopped coriander (cilantro) root 25g (1 oz/1/4 cup) grachai (wild pickled ginger) Step 2 100g (3 1/2 oz) red curry paste (above) 3 tbsp shrimp paste 20g (3/4 oz) grated palm sugar 1 tbsp fish sauce 200ml (2 1/4 fl oz) coconut milk 2 1/2 tbsp grapeseed oil
Salad 25g (1 oz) cuttlefish, cleaned 1/2 Lebanese cucumber, cut into matchsticks 1 tbsp sorrel leaves finely chopped 1 red Asian shallot, thinly sliced 1 tbsp finely chopped fresh young ginger To serve lime juice to taste 2 tbsp fried shallots
For the first stage of the red curry paste, soak the chillies in warm water for 30 minutes. Remove and scrape out the excess seeds. Roughly chop chillies then add to a blender with the shallots, garlic, lemongrass, galangal, coriander and grachai and blend to a fine paste. Spoon into a bowl and set aside. For the second stage of the red curry paste, heat a large frying pan over medium heat, add the oil, half the coconut milk and the shrimp paste and fry until the shrimp paste dissolves and turns brown and the coconut milk starts to brown. Add the red curry paste, made in the first stage, and stir, making sure you scrape the base of the pan to mix any caramelised bits back into the paste. Once the paste begins to foam white around the edges of the pan, add the sugar and cook for 2 minutes. Scrape to the side of the frying pan and deglaze the pan with the fish sauce. Reduce and stir the paste into the fish sauce, being careful not to burn the paste or it will taste bitter. Add the remaining 100 ml (3 1/2 fl oz) of coconut milk, bring to the boil and simmer until the marinade is the consistency of toothpaste. For the salad, slice the cuttlefish lengthways as thinly as possible. Bring a saucepan of salted water to the boil, take it off the heat, then plunge the cuttlefish in, stir quickly and drain. Combine the vinegar, sugar, fish sauce, cucumber, sorrel, shallot and ginger in a bowl and mix well. Toss the cuttlefish in the dressing just before serving. Cook the jasmine rice according to packet instructions. Sear the fish fillets for approximately 5 seconds in a non-stick hot frying pan and place on a baking tray lined with silicon paper. Smear the curry paste evenly over the top of the flesh and place under a medium–low grill (broiler) for 6–8 minutes, depending on the thickness of the fish, or until the paste starts to lightly colour. Spoon the rice onto two plates, add the fish, squeeze on some lime juice and scatter on a thin layer of fried shallots. Finish with a jumble of the salad on top.
Chocolate Peanut Butter eton mess
The old-fashioned billowing peaks of the traditional meringue are a little deflated by the peanut butter here but its addition with cocoa make this dessert perfect for any sweet tooth never happier than when indulging in something sugary, sticky and sweet.
Ingredients 6 eggwhites 330g caster sugar 1 tbsp cocoa powder 1 tsp white vinegar 1 tbsp peanut butter, softened in the microwave Whipped cream and fresh raspberries to serve
Preheat the oven to 120C. Line an oven tray with baking paper. Whisk eggwhites in an electric mixer until soft peaks form, gradually adding the sugar until it is thick and glossy and sugar dissolves. Add the cocoa powder, cornflour and vinegar, whisk until just combined. Gently stir through the peanut butter. Spread the meringue into a 22cm diameter circle (use the base of a loose bottom pan as a rough guide) and smooth the top with a palette knife. Bake for 45 minutes then reduce the heat to 100C and bake until cracks appear on the surface, usually about 30 minutes. Turn off oven and allow to cool in the oven. Transfer the meringue carefully to a plate - the centre remains slightly gooey and decadent so be careful. Spoon fresh cream over the meringue and top with fresh raspberries. Serve immediately
Text, recipes, styling and photography: Katrina Meynink Images page 20,22,33 by photographer Jason Loucas Design: Adrienne Neilson Illustration: James Weinert Want to see more recipes from Kitchen Coquette? Apple crumble souffle Fontina meatball sandwiches For more information check out www.thelittlecrumb.com.au or email info@thelittlecrumb.com.au Thank you to our giveaway sponsors: Debortoli Wines, Sosume clothing, All About The Dress, Allen & Unwin