Page 2, The Loafer • January 22, 2013
January 22, 2013 • The Loafer, Page 3
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Volume 27 Issue #7
!"#$%&'()*+*,%$$*-%$$%./&*0*12%34)*+*5.62%*-%$$%./&*0*7.84"3*9*:(&%;6*+*<')%&38*7(.='*0*>?@=(*A.6.;()*+*7"=%*B.3( <4C()*:(&%;6*+*,%$$*A.8*0*D).E'%=*F)3&*:%)(=34)*+*:46*5E)%6G$(*0*!'434;).E'8*+*A.)G*A.)H"(33( F2C()3%&%6;*+*:.C(*<.)3()I*FG(8*J%6=.%2I*7%&.*7846&I*B.#%3'.*7./#()3I*B())8*!.33()&46 <463)%#"3%6;*53.??*+*K%/*J($$8I*F628*L4&&I*J(6*5%$C()&I*A.)G*A.)H"(33(I*!.3*,"&&.)2 Published by Creative Publishing, Inc., P.O. Box 3596, Johnson City, TN 37602 !'46(M*NOPQORP+NPON*SFT*+*NOPQORP+NPUV www.theloaferonline.com • info@theloaferonline.com e-mail: editorial@theloaferonline.com (editorial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
Page 4, The Loafer • January 22, 2013
ON DEMAND
Community, Campus Connections Engender Spring Season Rich in Art, Storytelling, Music, Film
Cable companies and channels may have adopted the phrase “on demand” as their own, but Mary B. Martin School of the Arts is just as responsive to educational and entertainment requests – and the result is live, rather than pre‐recorded. The program’s eclectic spring 2013 season is very much a product of responding to the ideas, interests and needs of dif‐ fering local and campus entities and audiences, says Mary B. Mar‐ tin School of the Arts Director Anita DeAngelis. This spring’s supply to that demand includes two instrumental and one vo‐ cal musical experience, myriad art perspectives, the second and third parts of a three‐part sto‐ rytelling series and four unique !"#$%$"#$"&'(!)*+,
-.$'(!/+&'$0$"&'!"'12345'6'78"‐ cert by violinist Brian Lewis, is in collaboration with Academy of Strings in Johnson City and co‐ directors Tim and Kim Barrett, who have attended symposia by the artist/educator. Lewis will perform at First Presbyterian Church in Johnson City at 7:30 p.m. Friday, Feb. 1, with ETSU Music Professor and pianist Chih‐Long Hu. On Saturday, Feb. 2, Lewis will hold master classes and talks starting at 10 a.m. and ending at 4:30 p.m, also at First
!"#$%&'()*+(,*+--.(/0$1( in our operations and de‐ cisions to schedule events, but with everything we do, the quality keeps in‐ creasing,” DeAngelis says. “The way we interact with campus and community groups keeps improving all the time. Those are some of the things we will see this semester. Two of the performing arts events this spring came about because of community interactions, while a num‐ ber of other events are in response to local interest 2*(',+3$43(*+50+'-'67
Presbyterian, 105 S. Boone St. 9-.$/$'6/$'6')8&'8:'(!"$' violinists on the concert stage today,” says reports the Topeka Capital‐Jour‐ nal, “but few can match Lewis for an honest vir‐ tuosity that supremely serves the music.” As the result of a spe‐ cial request from a cam‐ %;+' 8:(!7$5' &.$' <!+=' >;‐ bilee Singers have been scheduled for a Tues‐ day, March 26 concert in ETSU’s Martha Street Culp Auditorium, at 7:30 p.m. The original Jubilee Singers introduced “slave songs” to the world in 1871 and were instrumental in preserving the American musical tradition known today as Negro spiritu‐ als. Since then, they have sung for kings and queens in Europe, been featured on PBS, gone on a sacred journey to Ghana in 2007 and raised money for their be‐ loved Fisk University, Nashville. Another community partner‐
ship has resulted from the Fisk event. Jubilee Singers Director Paul Kwami has agreed to come to the area several times before the concert to work with the Madrigal Singers at David Crock‐ ett High School, preparing the Madrigal Singers for a special performance during the March 26 concert. “It’s a good oppor‐ tunity for our local students to come in direct contact with an artist organization and get to perform with them,” she says. “It’s going to be great fun to see what happens. I know Director Kelly Sams is very excited about this opportunity.” Enhancing school experiences is one of the missions integral to the way funding was established for the Mary B. Martin School of the Arts, says DeAngelis, who proposed the concept of the
school to benefactor James C. Martin. “At a time when fund‐ ing for education is diminishing somewhat – yet we know how important it is – it is wonderful to have someone in our commu‐ nity say, ‘It is important for me to see these kinds of activities in our schools.’ ” Guitarist Frank Vignola will not only perform, but he also will work with local students and en‐ thusiasts in master classes. The guitar virtuoso, who has worked with legends such as Madonna, Ringo Starr and Les Paul, will be in concert Thursday, Feb. 14, 7:30 p.m. at Culp Auditorium with fellow guitarist Glenn Tos‐ to. Vignola, deemed by The New York Times as “one of the bright‐ est ... stars of the guitar” and author of 18 guitar instruction Continued on page 5
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books, will stop in Tennessee in the midst of a world tour – rang‐ ing from Switzerland and Swe‐ den to California and Kentucky. Mary B. Martin School’s three‐ part storytelling series in 2012‐ 13 evolved because of an idea from storytelling faculty mem‐ ber Joseph Sobol. Parts two and three of the series will be fea‐ tured this spring.
On Thursday, Feb. 28, sto‐ ryteller Diane Edgecomb will bring her “Forbidden Stories” to Culp Auditorium, at 7:30 p.m. A seven‐year quest brought Edge‐ comb to remote mountain vil‐ lages in Turkey, places usually forbidden to outsiders, so she might gather Kurdish folk tales and keys to the culture. “It’s an‐ other important situation where &.$' 6/&+' 6/$' /$()$7&!"?' 8"' 6' 7;)‐ ture that is not so familiar to us and hopefully will help us un‐ derstand that culture a little bit more,” DeAngelis says. “Diane Edgecomb is known for her hu‐ mor, as well. It’s going to be an insightful evening but one that is imminently enjoyable.” The “on demand” series will conclude March 28, when storyteller Jay O’Callahan will present his tale “The Spirit of the Great Auk.” The tale recre‐ ates Dick Wheeler’s 1,500‐mile kayak voyage from Newfound‐ land to Buzzards Bay, follow‐ ing the path of the now‐extinct Great Auk bird. O’Callahan will
January 22, 2013 • The Loafer, Page 5 use this dramatic story and his trademark theatrical delivery to relate the powerful tale to the Culp Auditorium audience. “Along his journey, Wheeler )$6/"$#' 6@8;&' 78"7$/"+' 8:' (!+.‐ ermen for the pollution in the sea and potential extinction of many other sea species because of over‐harvesting,” DeAngelis says. “As it turns out, we didn’t learn many lessons from the ex‐ tinction of the Great Auk. Again, this is going to be a story that is very insightful, and I ex‐ pect it to be a won‐ derful experience.” Following the p e r f o r m a n c e , O’Callahan and spe‐ cial guest kayaker Dick Wheeler will engage the audi‐ ence in a question and answer session. Other educational activities for the public and students will be part of the O’Callahan visit, as well, DeAngelis says. “It is really good for us to hear what people are inter‐ ested in,” she says. “It works well when we schedule events that are related to
each other. We’ve found that A!&.' 8;/' (!)*' +$/!$+,' -.$/$' 6/$' a number of people in the com‐ munity really interested in inde‐ %$"#$"&' (!)*5' +8' A$' +$$' 6' )8&' 8:' the same people coming to the (!)*+' B;+&' @$76;+$' &.$C' 6/$' (!)*' lovers. We see some changes in our patrons because people have different interests in the topics 8:'&.$'(!)*+,'D'&.!"='A$E))'+$$'&.$' same thing with the storytelling events. The topics are different so each attracts a different group of people – and that’s great. We want our activities to be of inter‐ est to a wide number of people in the community.” March will feature a unique gathering of visual art profes‐ sionals, co‐sponsored by the School and ETSU’s Department of Art & Design. Concluding a series of roundtable discussions with the campus community, a panel of four art professionals from around the country will discuss what it means to be an artist working at a distance from art hubs such as New York, L.A., Berlin or London. The Outer Re‐ gions: Public Panel Discussion will be March 2, at 6:30 p.m. in ETSU’s Ball Hall Auditorium, fea‐ turing Emma Balazs, director of Visual Arts at Columbia Univer‐ sity; Sarrita Hunn, co‐founder and editor of Temporary Art Review; Adelheid Mers, Arts Ad‐ Continued on page 6
“We are a regional institution and we are a smaller suburban city. How do we function in the larger world especially in this time when our economy, our educational opportunities, so many things are global?” DeAngelis says. “These professionals will bring different perspectives on being a regional artist. There are 82*+(9+%+4-'(1$*+3-:.(;2*(<"=>( students but we also wanted to have an opportunity for other people to come interact with these four individuals.”
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ministration and Policy faculty member at School of the Art In‐ stitute of Chicago; and Joey Orr, an Arts & Sciences (doctoral) Fel‐ low at Emory University. Jerry Saltz, a New Yorker and critic and columnist for New York Magazine among other online and print publications, comes from an opposing vantage point. He will present a lecture April 15 at 6 p.m. in Ball Hall Audito‐ rium. “It is great timing that we have this regional symposium in March, then we bring someone who is right in the heart of what’s going on in the arts community in New York City – opposite ends of the spectrum. “Jerry’s writing can be a little edgy and controversial. Of course, some of the things that happen in the art world, New York in par‐ ticular, are pretty edgy, but New
York is very +!?"!(!76"&' !"' contemporary art circles. It’s something for our students in the arts to be aware of and a lot of practicing artists in the area are likely aware of some‐ one like Jerry Saltz.” Spring 2013 will feature a favorite of MBM SOTA patrons, the South Arts Southern Cir‐ cuit Tour of I n d e p e n d e n t F i l m m a k e r s , which each school year brings six indepen‐ #$"&' (!)*+' 6"#' &.$!/' (!)**6=$/+' to ETSU’s campus. Feb. 11, the documentary Eating Alabama will be shown in Culp Auditori‐ ;*,'-.$'(!)*':8))8A+'&.$'F;$+&'8:' a young couple returning to Ala‐ bama to live the simple, rural life of their grandparents and grow their own food. “The foodies are absolutely going to love it,” DeAngelis says, “and we have a lot of people lo‐ cally who are interested in locally grown foods and sustainability, +8' D' &.!"=' !&E+' 6' &!*$)C' (!)*' 6"#' one that will have a lot of inter‐ est.
1957. “Some of us know about the courage of the nine stu‐ dents in Little Rock,” DeAngelis says. “Some of us learned about it when we were younger and some students may not know much about it. This is an im‐ portant chapter during the Civil Rights movement, and Daisy Bates was right there in the mid‐ dle of it as head of the Arkansas NAACP. The 2012‐13 South Arts series will conclude with the political documentary Follow the Leader on Monday, April 8, which follows lives of three teens from high school govern‐ mental politics through three Continued on page 7
On Monday, March 18, MBM SOTA will screen Daisy Bates: First Lady of Little Rock by documentarian and journalist Sharon La‐ G/;!+$,'-.$'(!)*'#$%!7&+' &.$' G!0!)' H!?.&+' (!?;/$' through her life as an orphan to her career as a newspaperwoman but focuses on her role in protecting the Little Rock Nine, the nine students who were the (!/+&' I:/!76"JI*$/!76"' students to be inte‐ grated into Little Rock Central High School in
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life‐changing years as they split into Republican, Democratic and Independent camps. I))' K8;&.' I/&+' (!)*+' @$?!"' 6&' 7 p.m. in Culp Auditorium. After &.$' +7/$$"!"?' 8:' $67.' (!)*5' &.$' (!)**6=$/'A!))'$"?6?$'&.$'6;#!‐
January 22, 2013 • The Loafer, Page 7 ence in a dis‐ cussion about &.$' (!)*' 6"#' their work as (!)**6=$/+,' I' reception with &.$' (!)**6=$/' follows the screening and question‐and‐ answer ses‐ sion. Film and reception are free and open to the public. The School’s spring will conclude April 22 with anoth‐ er independent (!)*' +7/$$"‐ ing – Beauty is Embarrassing, 6' (!)*' @C' 6"#' about visual artist and Ten‐ nessee native Wayne White, who has been an illustrator, painter, puppeteer, music video art director and set designer on Pee‐Wee’s Playhouse. The Emmy award winner also travels with &.$' (!)*5' 78"#;7&!"?' #!+7;++!8"+' after each screening. The screen‐
ing will start at 7 p.m. in Culp Auditorium and be followed by a Q&A and reception. One MBM SOTA tradition will be absent from the spring 2013 season: Mountain Visions Juried Exhibition. “From the very begin‐ ning of the Mary B. Martin School of the Arts, we made a commit‐ ment to support a regional juried exhibition,” DeAngelis says. “We had hoped it would be an annual exhibition and we sponsored it for two years. We rely on the Re‐ ece Museum as the showcase for the exhibition, and the museum is still undergoing renovations … which we are excited about. “Because of the uncertainty of the completion date of the reno‐ vations, we just did not feel com‐ fortable in planning for the exhi‐ bition this year, but hopefully it will be back in spring of 2014.” For information on Mary B. Martin School of the Arts, its spring events or tickets, call 423‐ 439‐TKTS (8587) or visit www. etsu.edu/cas/arts. “Like” ETSU Mary B. Martin School of the Arts on Facebook and Follow it on Twitter at TheArtsAtETSU.
Page 8, The Loafer • January 22, 2013
Spring Arts Array Film Series The Arts Array is the cultural outreach program of Virginia Highlands Community College, A.!7.'!"7);#$+'(!)*+5')$7&;/$+' and concerts. The spring Arts I//6C'(!)*'+$/!$+'8%$"$#'A!&.' 9I/@!&/6?$5L'&.$'@$+&'(!7&!8"6)' (!)*'&.6&'.6+'@$$"'*6#$' 6@8;&'&.$'M6))'K&/$$&'(!"6"7!6)' collapse. Admission to the (!)*'+.8A!"?+'!+':/$$':8/'&.$' students and staff members of these sponsoring institutions. Community members may attend for a $7.50 admission charge. Ben Jennings, the series 788/#!"6&8/5'+6C+'&.6&'&.$'(!)*' showings are so successful @$76;+$'8:'&.$'";*@$/'8:'(!)*' buffs in the Tri‐Cities area and the few opportunities that are available at the local theaters for the American independent, #87;*$"&6/C'6"#':8/$!?"'(!)*+' that are programmed in the series. Here is a list of the upcoming (!)*+'&.!+'+%/!"?'!"'&.$'+$/!$+: The Perks of Being a !"##$#%&'( Jan. 21 and 22 Based on the endearing young adult novel, &.!+'(!)*' is about 15‐year‐ old Charlie (Logan Lerman), a "6!0$'8;&+!#$/5'78%!"?'A!&.'(!/+&' love (Emma Watson), the suicide of his best friend, and his own mental illness while struggling &8'(!"#'6'?/8;%'8:'%$8%)$'A!&.' whom he belongs. The introvert freshman is taken under the wings of two seniors, Sam and Patrick, who welcome him to the real world. The Intouchables Jan. 28 and 29 This French (!)*5'@6+$#' on a true story, has been the most beloved (!)*'!"'
the world this year. A wealthy man, left a quadriplegic after a para‐gliding accident, requires a live‐in caregiver. A young black ex‐convict‐‐to his surprise‐‐is hired. The two men develop a close friendship, gradually putting aside their societal 78"#!&!8"!"?+,''-.$'(!)*'!+' ultimately one of the most powerful visions of tolerance and friendship ever made. Ethel Feb. 4 and 5 The Kennedy dynasty has been a fascinating subject for (!)**6=$/+,''-.!+'(!)*'!+'6' portrait of Ethel Kennedy, the widow of Robert Kennedy, made by her daughter Rory. -.$'(!)*'!+'6"'!"+!#$/E+'0!$A'8:' a political dynasty, a personal story interwoven with some of the most important moments of &.$'12&.'7$"&;/C,'-.$'(!)*'6)+8' features a rich treasure trove of never‐before‐seen footage from the Kennedy family’s private collection. )"('&'##*+ My Queen Feb. 11 and 12 As the French Revolution begins, at the Château de Versailles the royal family keeps on living their carefree lives. But when the news of the storming of the Bastille reaches them, most of the courtiers and servants desert the family, leaving them practically alone. -.!+'</$"7.'(!)*':87;+'8"'&.$' queen’s reader, Sidonie, who does not know yet know that these are the last three days she will spend in the company of her beloved queen. Cloud Atlas Feb. 18 and 19 D"'&.!+'$%!7'+7!$"7$'(!7&!8"'(!)*5' everything is connected: an 1849 diary of an ocean voyage;
letters from a composer to his friend; a thriller about a murder at a nuclear power plant; a farce about a publisher in a nursing home; a rebellious clone in futuristic Korea; and the tale of a tribe living in post‐apocalyptic Hawaii, far in the future. Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, and the other actors play varying roles in each of these interwoven stories.) Anna Karenina Feb. 25 and 26 Set in late‐19th‐ century Russia, this adaptation of the Leo Tolstoy novel features Keira Knightley as the aristocrat Anna Karenina who enters into a life‐changing 6::6!/'A!&.'&.$'6:();$"&'G8;"&' Vronsky, played by Aaron Taylor‐Johnson. What is +&;""!"?'6@8;&'&.!+'(!)*'!+'&.6&'!&' is set primarily in a theatre, with clever use of tableaux, surrealist elements and breathtaking visual images bringing out the characters’ emotions. The Rural Route Film Festival March 4 and 5 This collection of 11 short (!)*+'7$)$@/6&$+'&.$'@$6;&!$+5' eccentricities, and diversity of rural life all around the A8/)#,'-.$'(!)*+'A!))'+.8A76+$' stop‐action sand animation from Australia, a mythic fairy tale from France, and short #87;*$"&6/!$+'6@8;&''()C!"?' over the Chilean Andes, ice (!+.!"?'!"'K8;&.'N6=8&65'+6)&' trading in Ethiopia, as well as “the best street sweeper Norton Virginia ever had.” The producer Alan Webber will be at all four screenings. (100 minutes)
www.theloaferonline.com The Impossible March 11 and 12 Naomi Watts and Ewan McGregor star in this account of a British couple with their three young boys who are caught, with tens of thousands of strangers, in the mayhem of one of the worst natural catastrophes of our time, the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. Based on a true story and utilizing details from interviews A!&.'+;/0!08/+5'&.$'(!)*'&/!$+' to get the experience of the tsunami and its aftermath as accurate as it can be re‐created. Life of Pi (in 3D) March 18 and 19 ($2.75 surcharge for everyone) Based on the international best‐selling novel by Yann Martel, this magical adventure story centers on Pi Patel, who, after a ship A/$7=5'(!"#+'.!*+$):'6#/!:&'!"' &.$'O67!(!7'P7$6"'8"'6'1QJ:88&' lifeboat with a zebra, a hyena, an orangutan and a 450‐pound Bengal tiger named Richard O6/=$/5'6))'(!?.&!"?':8/'+;/0!06),'' The director Ang Lee has raised the level of artistic use of 3‐D technology and special effects in &.!+'(!)*,' The Well‐ Digger’s Daughter March 25 and 26 This heart‐ warming French (!)*'&$))+' the story of single father and well‐digger Pascal Amoretti (France’s greatest actor Daniel Auteuil), who is raising several young girls in the Provençal countryside at the advent of World War I. When his teenage daughter Patricia gets pregnant
January 22, 2013 • The Loafer, Page 9 by a dashing air force pilot who abandons her for his call to duty, Pascal has to make a heart‐ wrenching decision about the fate of his wayward child. Hyde Park on the Hudson April 1 and 2 Bill Murray is perfect as President Franklin Roosevelt in this story of a love affair between him and his distant cousin Margaret Stuckley (played by Laura Linney), against the backdrop of the weekend in 1939 when the King and Queen of the England visited the Roosevelt family’s upstate New York family estate. Even more than The King’s Speech''#!#5'&.!+'(!)*'.;*6"!R$+' the royals and makes them into mere mortals. (95 minutes) ,-+!'-&'-.++ Never Sorry April 8 and 9 Filmmaker Alison Klayman gained unprecedented access to Ai Weiwei, the most famous contemporary artist in the world, as he prepared for major museum exhibitions, interacted with family members and had increasingly public clashes with the Chinese government. Klayman’s detailed portrait of the artist provides a nuanced exploration of contemporary China and one of its most 78*%$))!"?'%;@)!7'(!?;/$+,' Hitchcock April 15 and 16 This loving re‐ creation of a moment !"'(!)*' history focuses on Alfred Hitchcock (played by Anthony Hopkins) and his collaborator/ wife Alma (played by Helen
Mirren) as Hitchcock directs .!+'!78"!7'.8//8/'(!)*'Psycho !"'3SQ2,'-.$'(!)*'%/$+$"&+' accurately the struggles that Hitchcock had while making &.!+'78"&/80$/+!6)'(!)*T'+&/;??)$+' A!&.'&.$'(!)*'78*%6"CE+' censors, with his wife, and with his own inner demons. Promised Land April 22 and 23 Matt Damon stars as a salesman for a natural gas company that has come to a small Pennsylvania town to purchase farmland for “fracking.” Hal Holbrook is the farm owner, who well understands the sociological and environmental costs to this "$A'@88*!"?'!"#;+&/C,''-.$'(!)*' is described by the director Gus Van Sant as an exploration of modern‐day “American identity.” Zero Dark Thirty April 29 and 30 Director Kathryn Bigelow and
screenwriter Mark Boal bring the intensity and drama that they brought to The Hurt Locker to the chronicle of the decade‐ long hunt for al‐Qaeda terrorist leader Osama bin Laden after the 9/11 attacks, and his death at the hands of the Navy SEAL Team 6 in May, 2011. U;7.'8:'&.$'(!)*'!+'6'&/;$J)!:$' international adventure with CIA agents as heroes, especially Jessica Chastain in the leading role.
Page 10, The Loafer • January 22, 2013
Wooly Mammoth Breakfast Where else could you go to enjoy a mammoth breakfast pre‐ pared by world famous Madam Russell Men’s Club chefs, visit with friends that have been hi‐ bernating since fall and support a worthy cause? There is no other place to be except North‐ wood High School Saturday Jan. 26th from 8:30 am to 10:30 am. If that isn’t enough, at 10:30 am, you will get to see Woolly predict the weather for the next six weeks. She really is a better prognosticator than that ground‐ hog in PA and she is a lot prettier and sweeter. Indulge in Ice Age Eagle eggs, Bison bacon, Mastodon sausage, Ground‐Sloth gravy, Saber‐cat head biscuits, Paleo pancakes
w/syrup, Fried Arboreal apples, Ground Hog grits, Cave‐bear cof‐ fee and Musk Ox milk. There will also be music, exhibit, and door prizes. Saltville Mayor Joel Fry will proclaim Woolly’s meteorologi‐ cal forecast. Tickets are $10.00 for adults and $5.00 for children under 12. A breakfast ticket gives you free admission to the Museum of the Middle Appala‐ chians on Saturday, January 26, 2013. For further info, call The Mu‐ seum of the Middle Appalachians 276‐496‐3633 or visit www.mu‐ seum‐mid‐app.org. The Museum is open Monday/Saturday 10:00 am to 4:00 pm. and Sunday 1:00 pm to 4:00 pm.
January 22, 2013 • The Loafer, Page 11
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The Foggy Valley Gang in “Sick and Tired” A Cracked-up Comedy The Foggy Valley Gang returns to the stage promising to bring hilarity to your doldrums. Are you tired of the “same old, same old”? So is Mama Goodin and she is ready to tell the world in this new, .;*8/8;+' (!6+785' “Sick and Tired”. While visiting Maimie Kaye’s Beauty Salon, Mama Goodin has a sudden attack and collapses. Due to her stinginess, her son, Spoolie Goodin with the help of Rev. Clyde, decide to transport her to the hospital in the Goodin family hearse from the B.A. Goodin Funeral Parlor, Taxidermy and Wedding Chapel.
Mama is greeted at Foggy Valley Memorial Hospital by her two granddaughters, “Candy‐ stripers” – Ima and Ura Goodin.
Mama is treated by the strange, absent‐minded, Dr.Watt. He is assisted by Nurse Attila, who gets her name honestly. Upon
her admittance to the hospital, Mama’s records are accidentally switched. Amidst the crazy antics of a doting family, Dr. Watt delivers bad news of Mama’s misdiagnosed health. The decision is made for Mama to go home and spend the rest of her days being cared for by her idiotic, grief‐stricken family and friends. Home visits from Dr. Watt and Nurse Attila continue. Despite the diagnosis, Mama is determined to live. After receiving the colossal hospital bill, the Goodin’s decide to #8' 6' V$"$(!&' -$)$&.8"' for Mama hosted by Rev. Clyde. Expect twists and turns on this rollercoaster comedy. Close friends, Clementine and Flo, act as home nursemaids for Mama. Flo is always looking to make Mama more comfortable, no matter what she has to do including “pulling the plug” if necessary. Buffoon grandson, Virgil, and Marge and Cedric (butler and
maid) are on hand to lend Mama a helping hand. Of course, Otis Purdy, the security guard is there to protect Mama, and Clovis Bodine is quick to cheer her with his Elvis impersonation. Thanks to the OCD janitor, Author McDaver, mama is guaranteed not to get staph infection. The V$"$(!&' -$)$&.8"' +.8A76+$+' the zany talents of The Goodin Family and friends assisted by Rosco, the paranoid cousin, acting as cameraman. As always, there will be a surprise ending and moral to be learned. “Sick and Tired” premieres January 25‐27 and February 1‐3 at LampLight Theatre, Fall Branch, Tennessee. Nightly performances will be on Fridays and Saturdays at 7:00 p.m. Matinees on Saturdays will be at 2:00 p.m. and additional Sunday matinees at 3:00 p.m. Doors will open one hour prior. Admission is a suggested donation of $8 Adults, $5 Students, Free for children under 6. For reservations and information, please contact the LampLight @8W' 8:(!7$' 6&' XY14Z' 4Y[J\Q325' Monday through Friday from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. or online at www. lamplighttheatre.com.
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The Stray Birds Down Home January 24th, 8pm
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The Stray Birds, a buzzed‐ about young acoustic trio will bring their rootsy sound to John‐ son City on Thursday, January 24 when they play a show at Down Home www.downhome. com Drawing upon the richness of American folk music traditions, the signature power of The Stray Birds sound lies in outstanding songwriting that soars in three‐ part harmony. Raised on music within a few miles of farmland from each other, The Stray Birds were born of a compelling collab‐ oration between two unique writ‐ ers and vocalists‐‐ the pure, luxu‐ rious voice of Maya de Vitry and Oliver Craven’s richness of tone and depth of delivery. Grounding their sound in the unshakeable groove of bassist Charles Muench, The Stray Birds are a trio of cap‐ tivating chemistry and sensitive musicality. From bustling street corners to silent halls, their per‐ formances speak to an uncompro‐ mising reverence for songs. www. thestraybirds.com
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MECC Offers Explorations Arts Competition
Current and former Mountain Empire Community College stu‐ dents are invited to participate in the annual Explorations Arts competition recognizing excel‐ lence in writing, drawing, paint‐ ing, and photography. The contest :$6&;/$+' (!/+&5' +$78"#5' 6"#' &.!/#' place awards in the categories of short story, poetry, personal es‐ say, drawing, painting, black and white photography, and color photography. First place winners receive $50, with second place winners awarded $30, and third place receiving $20. Students may $"&$/';%'&8'(!0$'%8$*+5'8"$'+.8/&' story, one personal essay, and up to three photos or drawings in each category. Students may enter more than one category. Submissions must be turned in to the Wampler Library, located !"' &.$' +$78"#' ()88/' 8:' H8@@' ]6))5' by Friday, February 15 at 4:30 p.m. All entries must include a completed entry form. To view the complete contest rules, en‐ try form, and past Explorations award winning entries, please visit www.mecc.edu/explora‐ tions. For additional information on Mountain Empire Community College’s Explorations Arts com‐ petition, please contact Rita Quil‐ len at (276) 523‐2400 or by email at rquillen@mecc.edu.
January 22, 2013 • The Loafer, Page 13
Page 14, The Loafer • January 22, 2013
Virginians Love Their State Parks
2012 Attendance Record 8,366,179 Visitors! Virginia State Parks continues the trend of recent years with a new attendance record in 2012 of 8,366,179 visitors, an increase of 7 percent over 2011. The new record is a 4 percent increase over the previous attendance record of 8,065,558 set in 2010. The 35 award‐winning Virginia State Parks are managed by the Virginia Department of Conser‐ vation and Recreation. “This is a remarkable achieve‐ ment and demonstrates that Virginians continue to love their state parks and use them during these tough economic times,” said DCR Director David A. John‐ son. “I’ve visited every state park, some of them many times,
First Landing State Park remains the most visited state park with more than 1.5 million visitors. Virginia State Parks directly and indirectly had an economic impact last year of $198 mil‐ lion, a 6 percent increase over the previous record in 2011. “More than 2,000 jobs are cre‐ ated as a direct result of Vir‐ ginia State Parks,” Johnson said. “People love the outdoors, “Towns and com‐ munities across and they love state parks. Virginia directly When we invest time in ev‐ feel the impact of erything that our state parks state parks.” In 2012, atten‐ have to offer, from hiking dance more than doubled at High trails, festivals and concerts Bridge Trail State to playgrounds, camping and Park, a linear park through cabins, our state and our soci‐ passing the town of Farm‐ !"#$%!&'$"(!$)!*!+,"-$./$0.%!$ ville and Cumber‐ land, Prince Ed‐ healthy and happy children ward, Nottoway and families.” said DCR State and Appomattox 6"#')876)'8:(!7!6)+'/$%$6&$#)C'&$))' me how important the nearby state park is to their area. When I recently attended the dedication of the trail center at First Land‐ ing State Park in Virginia Beach, I was reminded of the importance and the effectiveness of collabor‐ ative relationships among state parks, Virginians and local gov‐ ernments.”
Parks Director Joe Elton WEDNESDAYS
Continued on page 15
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counties. Visitation increased from 86,110 in 2011 to 188,467 in 2012. “In a few years, this park has grown from being a decommis‐ sioned railroad bed to being a major regional attraction,” John‐ son said. “Another linear park, New River Trail in Southwest Virginia, passes through Car‐ roll, Grayson, Pulaski and Wythe
January 22, 2013 • The Loafer, Page 15 counties, the city of Galax as well as the towns of Pulaski and Fries. The park attracted more than a million visitors, from numer‐ ous other states. There are many state park visitors spending lots of time and money in regions of Virginia hit hardest by the down‐ turn in the economy.” Overnight attendance in state parks also set a record with 1,101,915 visitors, a 4 percent increase over 2011, the previous
record year. “I am extremely proud of the exceptional work our staff does each year in hosting record num‐ bers of visitors and overnight guests,” said DCR State Parks Director Joe Elton. “Our record year also saw a record storm – the Derecho – hit Virginia the last weekend of June. Twelve parks were impacted by that storm, and Douthat State Park was closed through July 4. De‐ spite the damage coming during one of our busiest weeks of the year, during our busiest year ever, our staff worked tirelessly to get the parks back open and minimize impact on our guests. For more informa‐ tion about state park activities and amenities, or to make reservations in one of the 25 parks with camping facilities or 18 parks with cabins or family lodges, call the Virginia State Parks Res‐ ervation Center at 800‐ 933‐PARK or visit www. virginiastateparks.gov.
Page 16, The Loafer • January 22, 2013
The Blue Moon Presents Bebopped At The Sock Hop!
The Blue Moon Dinner Theatre %/$+$"&+' &.$!/' (!/+&' D"&$/67&!0$' murder mystery of the year, Be‐ bopped At The Sock Hop by Paula Hilton. A comedic “who done it” set in the 1950’s,”Bebopped” lets the audience guess who com‐ mits the murder for a chance to win a prize. Playing live on stage this Friday and Saturday Jan 25th and 26th. The Theatre is located at 215 East Main Street in Down‐ town Johnson City. Dig out those poodle skirts and and roll up your jeans for a Sock Hop that will have you out of your shoes and on the dance ()88/' !"' "8' &!*$,' I"#' &.!+' !+' "8' average Sock Hop ‐ with a famous DJ, famous rock ‘n roll star, giddy fans, star struck teachers and a Principal with no principles, it’s guaranteed to be a night of fun that will have you howling with laughter! But be careful, the twisting and turning at this sock hop might just turn deadly! The cast includes the talents of Clayton Van Huss, Anthony Fra‐ zier, Abbey Greer, Linda Wakely, Hannah Hasch and Kate Denson. “We think a Sock Hop Mystery is
perfect for the Blue Moon” Says Artistic Director Edward Breese “ Our audiences always have fun with our Murder Mysteries and there is even a chance they could walk away with a prize.” In ad‐ dition to other prizes The Blue Moon will be giving away tickets to The Comedy Zone in Johnson City as part of the fun. Enjoy a full night of entertain‐ ment all in one place. A delicious meal followed by a fun show. Din‐ ner begins with our house rasp‐ berry vinaigrette salad, followed by a chicken cordon bleu served with mashed potatoes and mixed vegetables. Dessert is served at the intermission at which time the wait staff pours coffee, re‐ freshes drinks and hands out our fresh baked chocolate chip cookie a la mode topped with a caramel drizzle. Tickets are just 39.99 plus tax and can be pur‐ chased by going online to www. bluemoondinnertheatre.com or @C' 76))!"?' &.$' @8W' 8:(!7$' 6&' Y14J 232‐1350. Meal upgrades and vegetarian options are available with a 24 hour notice. The Blue Moon is a BYOB facility.
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January 22, 2013 • The Loafer, Page 17
Tim White and the VW Boys
Saturday, January 26th, 2013, at 7:30 p.m., the Carter Family Fold Virginia, will present a concert of bluegrass music by the Tim White and the VW Boys. Admission to the concert is $8 for adults, $1 for children 6 to 11, under age 6 free. A longtime supporter of the Carter Fold and the traditions of Appalachia, Tim White settled in east Tennessee in 1974 and pursued his dream of being an
artist, sign painter, and banjo picker. Tim’s music has gained a strong following throughout the region, and he’s fronted several bands over the past two decades ‐ including Troublesome Hollow, the Beagles, and the VW Boys. While he is well‐respected for his musical skills, Tim is probably best known as host of the PBS television concert series Song of the Mountains. This popular program features bluegrass, old time, Celtic, gospel, and Americana music and reaches over 21 million households and 52 million people annually across the nation. Tim’s interest in recognizing, preserving, and perpetuating the historic music of the area led him to co‐ found the Appalachian Cultural Music Association. He regularly organizes and promotes concerts of bluegrass and old time music. WPWT Radio – 870 AM & 100.7 FM – hosts Tim’s
popular bluegrass show. Tim also does a nationally syndicated bluegrass show. A veteran of radio broadcasting, he started his career in 1989. Tim is the banjo picker and baritone singer for the VW Boys.
Dave Vaught is the group’s guitar picker. With nine albums to his credit, he has worked with Ronnie Millsap, Gary Morris, Sylvia, Jerry Reed, and Charlie Pride. In addition to his guitar picking, Dave does harmony vocals for the group. Albert Blackburn is featured on upright bass and lead vocals. For 27
years he worked with the award‐ winning band Fescue ‐ until they disbanded in 2009. Playing bluegrass for 31 years, Albert is quite well known and very well respected in bluegrass music circles. The VW Boys will bring 6)8"?'6'(!##)$/'6"#'%8++!@)C'+8*$' other guests or the concert.
Page 18, The Loafer • January 22, 2013
ETSU Workshops on !"#$#%&'(")*$#+)',-%./$#-% ^6+&' -$""$++$$' K&6&$' _"!0$/+!&CE+' P:(!7$' 8:' Professional Development will present a series 8:' A8/=+.8%+' 8"' A/!&!"?' 7/$6&!0$' "8"(!7&!8"' @$‐ ginning on Tuesday, Jan. 29, and continuing on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 6‐8 p.m. through Thursday, Feb. 28. The fee for the series is $65 and participants will meet in room 222 of Rogers‐Stout Hall The workshops are targeted toward writers in‐ terested in producing a memoir or book or merely capturing memories on paper for their families or themselves. The sessions will aid in uncovering each individual’s best material to use in writing a book, starting a blog or hosting a website. The leader for the workshops is Charles Moore, author of three e‐books, two blogs and many columns and articles. The sessions require no experience and
have no grade involved. '<8/'*8/$'!":8/*6&!8"5'78"&67&'&.$'P:(!7$'8:'O/8‐ fessional Development at (800) 222‐3878. Visit www.etsu.edu/professionaldevelopment to regis‐ ter.
“Pickin’ at the Doak’s” Returns to Doak House Museum January 25th, 6pm The program is a fun, free, family‐friendly, infor‐ mal music jam session, open to pickers and listen‐ ers alike. The museum welcomes all who play and sing old‐time music on traditional acoustic instru‐ ments. This month, the jam will be held in the academy building at the Doak House site with free tours of the Doak House also being offered. Join the pickers for fun, fellowship, and old‐time music deeply rooted in the culture of the mountains.
Pickin’ at the Doak’s takes place on the fourth Friday of the month from January through October at the Doak House, located at 690 Erwin Highway in Greeneville. The program’s schedule for 2013 is Jan. 25, Feb. 22, March 22, April 26, May 24, June 28, July 26, Aug. 23, Sept. 27 and Oct. 25. For more information, contact Leah Walker 423‐636‐8554 or lwalker@tusculum.edu.
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January 22, 2013 • The Loafer, Page 19
Winter Events at Steele Creek Nature Center
Bristol’s Steele Creek Park Nature Center is hosting educational presentations during the winter months. “If you and your family are looking for something to do this winter that is both entertaining and educational, the Nature Center is the place to be,” said Jeremy Stout, the park’s Nature Center Manager. “Sure it is cold, but wintertime offers some of the most amazing sights and sounds in the park,” Stout continued. The Winter Night Skies presentation on Friday, January 25, 2013 @ 5:00 PM will present on Owl Pellets and an Owl Prowl. Meet Larry McDaniels at the Lodge Conference Room and dissect your own piece of owl vomit. Afterwards, the group will buddle up for a night stroll calling out these nocturnal birds. The series will continue during the month of February and March so watch for more information on those presentations in coming weeks.There is no charge for attending any of these events. If you need more information please call Jeremy Stout at 423‐989‐5616 or e‐mail jstout@bristoltn.org.
MMPCC Hosts Wizard of Oz Family Fun Night Memorial Park Community, 510 Bert St., will host a Fam‐ ily Fun Night featuring the Wizard of Oz on Friday, Jan. 25 from 6‐9 p.m. Citizens are invited to dress as their favor‐ ite Wizard of Oz character and follow the yellow brick road to MPCC, where they can enjoy 6' +.8A!"?' 8:' &.$' (!)*5' ?6*$+' and activities. Characters will be available for photographs, and popcorn will be on hand. Admission is $1 per person, with children 4 and younger admitted free.
Page 20, The Loafer • January 22, 2013
There is a movie theater in Northeast Tennessee I consider a “hidden treasure”: The Capitol Theater. I grew up attending movies at this theater located in downtown Erwin, TN., and recently sat down with owner Jan Hendren Bradley to discuss the history of and plans for the future of the iconic theater.
Ken: Tell us a brief history of the theatre. Jan :'-.$'G6%!&8)'-.$6&/$'(!/+&' opened in September, 1940, one of 27 theatres owned by my late grandfather Earle Hendren, in downtown Erwin, and oper‐ ated until his untimely death in 1962, at which time my dad, Joe Hendren took over the director’s
seat. It continued to operate as a single screen theatre until 1982, when my dad enclosed the balcony & turned it into a twin screen theatre. The name was changed to Capitol Cinema I & II, 6"#':8/'&.$'(!/+&'&!*$')876)'*80!$' patrons were given a choice of what movie they wanted to see. When my father passed away in July of 2005, my sister & I took the reigns. We continued to operate as partners until May of 2012, when I purchased her interest and became sole owner. At this time, a major upgrade was in store so I installed digital projectors equipped with state of the art RealD 3D, added new “silver screens”, enhanced
the digital/surround sound system, replaced the seating with leatherette rocking chairs, `'6##$#'78*%)$&$)C'"$A'()88/' coverings. Ken: The theatre is unique to our area in that it’s one of the few left in a downtown still showing movies. The only other one I am aware of is the Fine Arts Theater in !"#$%&''$()*#+,)-.)/0",),&1$) customers often say after they have experienced the Capitol? Jan:'O/8@6@)C'&.$'(!/+&'&.!"?' new customers say when they arrive is “Wow, I never knew Erwin had a movie theatre”. Then as they make their way through our concession area (where I must say we pop the BEST popcorn anywhere!) and on into the auditoriums the 78*%)!*$"&+'=$$%'()8A!"?,'' Cinema I still boasts having one of the largest screens in Upper East Tennessee, as well as seating close to 200 patrons, and Cinema II gives the movie attendee a more intimate feel as it seats only 81 patrons. The theatre boasts much of its’ original color scheme, and along A!&.'&.$'/$(!"!+.$#'.6/#A88#' Continued on page 21
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January 22, 2013 • The Loafer, Page 21
Continued from page 20
()88/!"?'!"'&.$';%%$/' lobby, chandeliers, & chrome accents gives the movie patron a sense of stepping back in time to the art‐ #$78'$/6'8:'A.$"'!&'(!/+&' opened. Then, as they are leaving we hear such things as “this is the best movie theatre I have ever attended; I can’t believe how cheap it is to attend; we will #$(!"!&$)C'@$'@67=a'&.!+' was more than worth the drive over” just to name a few... Ken: Do you ever envision the Capitol having special /'1)2$",&%+'").0)30$"$4,&45) special screenings of classic /'1"6 Jan: With the installation last year of digital projection, the sky is the limit on what content we can present in our theatre. From classics such as “Gone with the Wind”, “Casablanca”, & “Citizen b6"$L'&8':8/$!?"'(!)*+'6"#'$0$"' locally produced movies will be able to be shown in our theatre. We are currently awaiting the installation of a satellite system that will also allow us to present any type of streamed content from the Super Bowl to the World Series to Ultimate Fight‐ ing Championships. We hope to have this in place by summer of 2013.
Ken: What role do you think social media (Facebook,etc.) plays in helping you promote the theater? Jan: This plays a very important role, especially with today’s youth. One person can post a positive comment about their latest movie experience at our theatre & in seconds reach 100’s to 1,000’s of people with just the push of a button. This in turn peaks the interest of many outside of our immediate area & they in turn make it a point to discover our theatre. We have seen patrons from all over the tri‐cities as well as western North Carolina & southwest Virginia. Ken: What are your hopes for the future of the theatre? Jan: Being the third generation to operate it, I am now groom‐ ing my children, Alexa & Trey
Parsley, to one day take over the “director’s chair”! They are both active in the everyday operation, and enjoy promot‐ ing movies to their friends. As technology continues to advance by leaps and bounds, so will the movie goer’s experience of be‐ ing able to silence their devices and submerse themselves for a couple of hours in entertain‐ ment second to none. As my late grandfather & father weathered such advances as television, compact cars (these made going to the drive‐in virtually impos‐ sible for a family), and VCR’s, my children and myself will take on the challenges of the future and incorporate these into our the‐ atre to provide everyone with the “greatest show” on earth! Lights, camera, ACTION!! Jan: Thanks again, Ken! Look forward to seeing you at the movies!
Page 22, The Loafer • January 22, 2013
Uranus One Crazy Planet
The seventh planet Uranus was virtually unknown until 28 years ago when a NASA space‐ craft sent back the only close‐ views of this wacky world. Knocked over on its side and roll‐ ing around its orbit like a green‐ striped bowling ball, Uranus not only has a funny name, but also some of the strangest moons in the Solar System. Discovered in 1781 by pio‐ neer telescope observer William Herschel from his backyard, he originally named it George’s Star, in tribute to King George III. The king knighted him, and Sir Wil‐ liam became one of the most
%/8)!(!7' &$)$+78%!7' 8@+$/0$/+' !"' astronomy history. V;&' &.$' 8:(!7!6)' "6*$J*6=$/+' 8:' 6+&/8"8*C' "6*$#' &.$' (!/+&' planet discovered by a man after the Greek god of the underworld, Uranus. Correctly pronounced with the scatological connota‐ tions, “UR‐anus,” though also correctly said “YOU‐rain‐us,” and acceptably “YOUR‐ness.” Uranus is easy to see in our Winter 2012 skies if you know where to look in the constel‐ lation Pisces the Fishes. But it might take some patience and either a star chart downloaded from online, or a planetarium
program, like the free one at Stel‐ larium.org. When Voyager 2 blew by Ura‐ nus at 30,000 mph this week 28 years ago, what astronomers knew for sure about the planet and the good photos they had A8;)#' (!))' 8")C' 6' 78;%)$' %6?$+' in a science book. The planet is huge, 32,000 miles across and a
gaseous world like much larg‐ er Saturn and gigantic Jupiter. Something knocked it over on its side in the early days of the wild Solar System when objects were coalescing and smashing into ev‐ erything. Consequently, Uranus is on its sides, the poles pointing toward and away from the Sun. This makes for some strange
seasonal dynamics, and keeps one hemisphere in darkness for 20 years at a time! Uranus’ outer clouds rotate once every 13 hours, but the greenish, methane layers of clouds are nearly featureless with little contrast. The miles thick atmosphere is made up of hydrogen, helium and ices like water, ammonia and methane. It’s the coldest atmosphere in the Solar System at minus ‐370 F. degrees! (farther Neptune has internal heating that keeps it a whole 50 degrees warmer). Until the interplanetary voy‐ 6?$'8:'c8C6?$/'15'_/6";+'.6#'(!0$' known moons, Miranda, Ariel, Umbriel, Titania and Oberon. In March 1977, it was discovered that eight rope‐like rings circle Uranus, dark as coal. The moons and rings had lots of surprises for NASA’s space emissary. Throughout history, Uranus was seen many times by naked eye stargazers. In fact, it appears 20 times on star charts prepared by various astronomers before Herschel’s discovery. Looking like a greenish star, it is at the edge of visibility for humans, Continued on page 23
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which is around 6th magnitude. They just didn’t record the slow motion among the stars, taking 84 years for one orbit at 2 billion miles from the Sun. Voyager 2 revolutionized man’s understanding of the outer planets when it used the opportunity of their line‐up to make the “grand tour” of the Solar System’s most mysterious objects. Launched in August 3S\\5'!&'()$A'@C'>;%!&$/'!"'I;?;+&' 1979 and Saturn in September 1981. A twin spacecraft, Voyager 1, was launched in September 1977 and it went to Jupiter and K6&;/",' I' ()C@C' 8:' K6&;/"E+' .;?$' moon Titan was chosen instead of going to Uranus and Neptune, ()!"?!"?' c8C6?$/' 3' !"&8' 6' #!::$/‐ ent direction out of the Solar System. Both spacecraft are still alive and sending back data from 10 billion miles away, at the edge of the Solar System and interstel‐ lar space. What Voyager 2 found out about Uranus still has astrono‐ mers analyzing the data. The super cold outer atmosphere of ‐350 degrees F. methane is hun‐
January 22, 2013 • The Loafer, Page 23 dreds of miles thick. A mantle of ice, ammonia and methane could be liquid, while a solid rock core the size of our Moon is suspected. As Voyager 2 sped by the planet at 30,000 mph, the array of two cameras were on plat‐ forms that were swiv‐ eled to compensate for any exposure. Every image was planned on a computer simula‐ tor, with the cameras were used to search for new moons, and astronomers were not )$&' #8A",' ' M!&.' (!0$' known moons when launched, each new image around Uranus added more and more small moons. Literally over‐ night the total jumped to 15 total moons, many less than 100 miles wide. The Hubble telescope and careful analysis of the Voyager 2 imagery has found more moons, most less than 10 miles wide, totaling 27 moons for Uranus! Most have been named after Shakespeare characters. So there
is Cordelia, Ophelia, Portia, Juliet and Puck. Also photographed up close were the ropey rings of &.$' %)6"$&5' (!"#!"?' 33' /!"?+' 6"#' some partial “ring arcs.” They are some of the darkest material in the Solar System. Their existence is still puzzling to astronomers, who have several theories as to how the rings and arcs were formed. The most likely cause of
planetary rings is a small moon or passing asteroid that was ripped apart by gravity. The 300‐mile‐wide Miranda is one of the most amazing objects in the Solar System. With geog‐ raphy that looks like a jumbled puzzle, astronomers believe something ripped Miranda apart and gravity put it back together. The four other known moons are
700‐1,000 miles wide and icy worlds with very few craters, which indi‐ cated an active surface replenishing itself. Uranus also has one of the strangest magnetic (!$)#+,''D"+&$6#'8:':8))8A‐ ing the rotational direc‐ tion, the strong mag‐ "$&!7' (!$)#' !+' 8::+$&' :/8*' the planet’s center and nearly perpendicular to the knocked over axis. Another puzzle that still @6:()$+'6+&/8"8*$/+,' There are no plans by any world space agency to revisit Uranus. But the earth‐orbiting Hub‐ ble Space Telescope has been making some in‐ credible images of Ura‐ nus, as well as some new techniques with the world’s larg‐ est telescopes on top of moun‐ tains. While decades might pass before mankind sends another space probe to Uranus, astrono‐ mers will continue analyzing the Voyager 2 data in context with the cutting‐edge, earth‐based observations.
Page 24, The Loafer • January 22, 2013
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January 22, 2013 • The Loafer, Page 25
Celestial events in the skies for the week of Jan. 15‐21, 2013 as compiled for The Loafer by Mark D. Marquette. -.$'(!/+&'<;))'U88"'8:'1234'.6%%$"+'&.!+'A$$=$"#5'6"#'!&E+'6)A6C+'!"&$/$+&!"?'&8' see the moonlight shadows on the ground from the bare trees. This week, follow the moon dance through the constellations of Taurus, Gemini Cancer and Leo. Planet Jupiter and The Pleiades star cluster are directly overhead at 8 pm, and Orion is below them. There are plenty of bright stars in popular constellations shining though the mid‐winter moonlight. Tues. Jan. 22 The Moon is next to the planet Jupiter tonight, in the middle of the constellation Gemini the Twins. On the other side of the Moon is the red star, Aldebaran. Wed. Jan. 23 The gibbous Moon is directly above the great constellation Orion, nearly crossing the border of the giant hunter’s raised bow. Thurs. Jan. 24 P"'&.!+'3S[d'#6&$'!"'+%67$'.!+&8/C5'eIKIE+'c8C6?$/'1'+%67$7/6:&'()$A'%6+&'_/6";+5' taking eight years to reach the seventh planet. Voyager 2 gave mankind it’s only close‐up views of Uranus 28 years ago. Fri. Jan. 25 On this 2004 date in space history, Mars Excursion Rover named Opportunity landed on the Red Planet, and its’ still alive and well! Nine years later, the golf‐ cart‐sized, six‐wheeled Opportunity has drove 22 miles, and currently at the rim of a seven mile wide crater. NASA’s amazing success story was guaranteed to last 90 days, and 3,286 days later, the American taxpayer has gotten their money’s worth!
Sat. Jan. 26 Full Moon is today at precisely 11:39 pm. That when the Earth is exactly between the Sun and Moon. Native Americans called the full phase of January the Moon after Yule or the Cold Moon. Tonight the Moon is in the constellation Cancer the Crab, near the open cluster of stars called the Beehive. Sun. Jan. 27 P"'&.!+'3SQ\'#6&$'!"'+%67$'.!+&8/C5'&./$$'6+&/8"6;&+'A$/$'=!))$#'#;/!"?'6'(!/$' inside their Apollo 1 spacecraft while conducting tests on the launch pad. Killed when a spark ignited the pure oxygen atmosphere inside the spacecraft was rookie Roger Chaffee and space veterans Gus Grissom and Ed White, both tapped as future moonwalkers. The tragedy derailed America’s moon program for 18 *8"&.+5'@;&'@C'>;)C'3SQS'&.$'(!/+&'*88"')6"#!"?'/$0$"?$#'&.$'#$6&.+'8:'I%8))8'3, Mon. Jan. 28 Another space horror on this date in 1986 when the Space Shuttle Challenger $W%)8#$#'\2'+$78"#+'6:&$/')6;"7.,'N$6#'A$/$'\'6+&/8"6;&+5'!"7);#!"?'&.$'(!/+&' true civilian, teacher in space. The other astronauts who gave their lives on the 25th Shuttle launch were Commander Dick Scobee, pilot Mike Smith and mission specialists Judy Resnick, Ellison Onizuka, Ron McNair and Gregory Jarvis.
Page 26, The Loafer • January 22, 2013
0/-12$#/'(-3))'4-12) 5)3'!*$)"2 January 24th The Acoustic Coffee House Thursday January the 24th, 8:00‐10:00 PM. His style is a fusion be‐ tween Neil Young & Warren Zevon although he refrains from comparisons, leaving that up to the listener! Oth‐ er than a few select cover songs, his sets consists of original material. You can listen @ Reverbnation.com & CDBaby.com
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January 22, 2013 • The Loafer, Page 29
Evelyn’s List
People of the universe, let me ask you something. When was the last time you fell for someone you most likely shouldn’t have fallen for? You know what I’m talking about, the ones who are so very close to what you want, you over look those two or three other things that can throw it all off. Last year, I found myself in such a situation. I fell for this particular woman, and I fell HARD. I’ll spare you the details about her that caused me to fall so deeply, but once we had waltzed our way through the ()!/&6&!8"' +&6?$5' she made it clear to me that I wasn’t enough for her. So I did what any decent, u p s t a n d i n g member of the c o m m u n i t y would do after this. I drank black coffee and listened to every #$%/$++!"?'K!"6&/6'6)@;*'D'78;)#'(!"#':8/' days. Around day three I found that this was a bad combination, I was all weepy, and constantly running to the bathroom. It was also close to Thanksgiving, and no one wants to deal with a weepy man with a loaded bladder at that holiday (or any other, for that matter). While waiting for the annual feast of turkey and starches to begin, I was detailing the events to my cousin Evelyn. She listened as I described all the things I loved about this woman, and then came to the conclusion that I had, thankfully, dodged a bullet. Evelyn suggested we make a list of reasons why a relationship with this person would be doomed to failure, a list of all the things that I didn’t like. Those items right under the surface of all the sunshine and perfection. The start of the list were the obvious things, items we clashed over, nothing major. But as this list progressed, it became full of the tiny details, little things
that I always felt were off about this lass. There were things on the list like “She was insecure about her looks”, “She felt she had disproportionate feet”, and “Claimed she could bench press a mule.” Each entrance on the list was based off a little incident that happened during the time we were together, if you can even call it that. The time I went with her to her parent’s house for dinner, and she fought with her mother the entire time, see “Mommy Issues”. Her tendency to latch onto fad diets, including the one week she was on the all sweet potato diet, was another item listed. What I thought would be a short list, with B;+&' (!0$' &8' &$"' reasons, quickly blossomed into a list of forty (!0$':6;)&+,' By the time Thanksgiving was over, the list was completed. I, for once, felt good about leaving that particular lass behind. When I still get wistful about “what might have been” I look over the list, gently laugh to myself, and realize that despite all the surface value, she was not for me. D:' D' #8"E&' (!"#' *C+$):' /$6#!"?' 80$/' &.$' list, Evelyn is more than happy to recite it to me—she put a copy of her phone. Evelyn is so concerned with my current prospects that I’m seeing, that she has made potential lists for each of them. I’ve not seen any of these lists, yet, but she assures me they are ready for the moment I break out my copy of “No One Cares” and start to brew up some French Roast. Ever made a list for any people from your past? It’s rather fun, and can make for some amusing conclusions. See you next week, follow me on Twitter @ ThatAndyRoss
Page 30, The Loafer • January 22, 2013
Year Of The iPotty?
The CES (Consumer Electron‐ ics Show) always give us things to ponder for the coming year. What new gadget will domi‐ nate? What new gadget should we include in our budget? What is trending (I hate that term) this year? Held the week before last in Las Vegas, this year’s CES highlighted, needless to say, a lot of new mobile devices, includ‐ ing several innovative charging devices and charging technol‐ ogy. Also included was a luggage tracker that will allow your mo‐ bile device to track the where‐ abouts of your luggage, although it probably can’t reunite it with you any sooner. One of the most talked‐about CES 2013 products is the subject of this week’s column and one that is closely related to a similar product I described in my predic‐ tions column a couple of weeks ago. What we’re talking about is a marvelous little gadget from CTA Digital called the iPotty, and it’s pretty much what you think it
is. Yes, it’s a potty training toilet with an iPad attachment. Priced at only $39.95 (minus the iPad, of course), this little orange and white piece of bathroom fur‐ niture is designed to appeal to parents who fear the arduous and rather messy task of potty training their toddlers—and, given its color scheme, the iPotty +.8;)#'(!"#'6'%)67$'!"'.;"#/$#+' of homes inhabited by Vols fans. Actually, many Vols fans who have no children will probably want to buy it for their collection of other orange and white items. Sounds like it might also come in handy at a crowded Neyland Sta‐ dium on game days. Maybe con‐ cessions could run a special on them—one hundred dollars for three of these must‐have items. ];:(!"?&8"' O8+&E+' 9K7/$$"' Sense” blog had this to say about this week’s neat little invention: “In many ways, the iPotty—one of the wacky products to come out of CES 2013—was bound to happen.” After all, parents have been turning more frequently to numerous iPad Apps for potty‐training assistance, and it seems it was only a matter of time before the iPad and the pot‐ ty training chair would join forc‐ es to help our kids feel better about mastering their bathroom skills. And, re‐ search is show‐ ing that more and more adults 6/$' (!##)!"?' with tablets and s m a r t p h o n e s
while using the bathroom—and causing occasional havoc when their devices are dropped into you‐know‐what while playing Angry Birds or checking ever‐ changing Facebook statuses. Not all parents are embracing this new concept, however. In a recent “On Parenting” Wash‐ ington Post blog, Julie Jacobson comments that “I have seen the future of potty‐training, and I’m torn between amusement and rolling my eyes.” After describing the intriguing attributes of this product, she goes on to say that there “are so many things wrong with this that I don’t know where to start.” For starters, is it ever a good idea to take an iPad into the bathroom, given the ease with which this trendy device could be dropped, as mentioned above, into something watery? Alarmed that a recent American Academy of Pediatrics report found that the “average child” spends seven hours or so interacting with elec‐ tronic media each day, Ms. Wil‐
liams argues that the last place an impressionable child needs to be engaging with an iPad is in &.$'@6&./88*5'6"#'#$(!"!&$)C'"8&' while seated on a potty chair. As you might have guessed, all this is part of a larger and all‐too‐ familiar issue: “Do we really want children to grow up thinking that they can and must be engaged and entertained at all times?” Af‐ ter expressing her worries about a potty‐training candidate reach‐ ing out to touch an iPad screen while heeding nature’s call, Ja‐ cobson asserts that “Surely they 76"'()!%'&./8;?.'6'?88#'8)#J:6+.‐ ioned board book while they’re putting in their time on the pot‐ ty.” Has she forgotten that once up a time books were looked upon with as much suspicion as iPads and other mobile devices are now? Books, after all, are just paper versions of various mobile screens—the crucial difference is that the content appearing on mobile screens is interactive and responsive. Jacobson is especial‐
ly troubled by an accompanying issue: “It’s just another example of parents looking for a way to outsource responsibility, when really they should be actively en‐ gaged with their children while teaching them what might be one of the most important skills they will acquire during early childhood.” Wonder how Jacob‐ son feels about parents reading books to their children while the little darlings are perched on their potties? Maybe these worried parents should watch a popular YouTube offering called “A Magazine Is An iPod That Doesn’t Work.” If you haven’t seen it, watch it now. I will leave you to make up your own mind about where you stand—or sit—on this issue. To purchase or not to purchase? Would stay longer, but I feel na‐ ture calling. Should I reach for my iPad? See you next week.
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