The Loafer August 1st by The Loafer

theloaferonline.com | August 1, 2017

on the cover

Publisher Luci Tate Editor Graphic Arts Director Don Sprinkle Cover Design Bill May Advertising Patti Barr Paul Kavanaugh Brad Parris Janie Jarvis

Contributing Staff Jim Kelly Andy Ross Ken Silvers Mark Marquette Brian Bishop Daniel Worley Jason Worley Langley Shazor Distribution Jerry Hanger Teresa Hanger Published by Pulse Publishing, LLC., P.O. Box 3238, Johnson City, TN 37602 Phone: 423/283-4324 FAX - 423/283-4369 www.theloaferonline.com info@theloaferonline.com e-mail: editorial@theloaferonline.com adcopy@theloaferonline.com All advertisements are accepted and published by the publisher upon the representation that the agency and/ or advertiser is authorized to publish the entire contents and subject matter thereof. The agency and/or advertiser will indemnify and save the publisher harmless from any lossof expense resulting from claims or suits based upon contents of any advertisement, including claims or suits for defamation, libel, right of privacy, plagiarism, and copyright infringement.

Founder: Bill Williams Let’s Get Social!

columns & reviews

Office Coordinator Amanda Lane

18 Stargazer Eclipse Fever Mounts. Relax, Enjoy It 19 Skies This Week 22 Batteries Not Included Spammy McSpammerton 24 Pop Life Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets 26 Appalachian Wanderers Rock Creek Recreation Area 27 The Casual Word Shards of Glass 28 Puzzle Page 31 Kelly’s Place Have You Given Any Thought To Your Paleofuture?

your week’s line-up

WINE Festival

Volume 31 • Issue #35

4 5 6 8 8 9 10 11 11 13 14 16 20 21 23 25 25 29 30

3rd Annual Wine Festival Che Apalache at Heartwood Internal Exposure Exhibit at The Art Depot Hands On! August Events Civic Chorale to hold auditions 69th Annual Virginia Highlands Festival The Treehouse Thief @ LampLight Theatre Garden Chronicles Evan Bartels @ Acoustic Coffeehouse Town Mountain & Jonathan Byrd Live on Radio Bristol Variety Show David Novak @ Storytelling Live! Spotlight Uncle Shuffelo & His Haint Hollow Hootenany Skirts & Shirts Fashion Contra Dance Protect Your Pet from Overheating The Campout Live Music Series Win DollyWood Passes Pets Of The Week Things To Do

theloaferonline.com | August 1, 2017

The 3rd Annual

Join us Saturday, August 5th from 1:00 - 6:00 PM on Broad Street, in front of Glen Bruce Park. Beautiful white circus tents will provide shade while you sample wines from a dozen or more vintners, shop local artisans, enjoy live music & southern foods! Sample wines from all across the state of Tennessee, including: Apple Barn Winery, Arrington Vineyards, Countryside Vineyards and Winery, Cades Cove Cellars, Goodwater Vineyards, Reedy Creek Vineyards and Cellars, Eagle Springs Winery, Hillside Winery, Mountain Valley Winery, Stonehaus Winery, and Sugurland Cellars. Tickets are $30

Tickets are available at the door starting at 1:00 pm on Saturday, August 5th. You may purchase tickets online on line at downtownkingsport.org until 5:00 pm on August 4th

Che Apalache

theloaferonline.com | August 1, 2017

from Argentina, Featured at Heartwood

he Crooked Road: Virginia’s Heritage Music Trail presents Che Apalache (from Argentina) in concert on Thursday, August 10th from 6:30 to 8:00 p.m. at Heartwood in Abingdon, VA. This concert is part of The Crooked Road Music Series at Heartwood, and is the first international presentation in the history of this series. Che Apalache, which means “my Appalachian homeboy,” is a four-man string band based in Buenos Aires with members from Argentina, Mexico and the United States. The group is led by North Carolina native Joe Troop, who immigrated to Argentina in 2010. While making a name for himself in the local music scene, Joe made a living teaching bluegrass and old time music. Over the years he and his students became picking buddies. In 2013, it was time to hit the stage. Che Apalache began as a traditional Appalachian string band but eventually incorporated Latin American styles into their repertoire. The result is an authentic South-Americana cambalache (mishmash) reminiscent of the Port City melting

pot it came out of. Band members are: Joe Troop (fiddle, vocals), Pau Andrés Barjau Mateu (banjo, vocals), Franco Martino (guitar, vocals), and Martin Bobrik (mandolin, vocals). Heartwood - Southwest Virginia’s Artisan Gateway is located off I-81 at Exit 14 in Abingdon, VA, and features food, music, and craft of Southwest Virginia. As part of The Crooked Road's Thursday night live music, our restaurant features delicious

southern BBQ to make for a food and music experience only Southwest Virginia can deliver. Admission to the concert is free and donations will be accepted for Crooked Road Traditional Music Education Program (TMEP). More information can be found at The Crooked Road website, www.thecrookedroad.org, and at www.heartwoodvirginia. org. For additional information, please call (276) 492-2409 or email: info@thecrookedroad.org.

Susan Miller Bradbury and Penny Simmons will present, “Internal Exposure” at the Arts Depot in Abingdon, VA. Wednesday, August 9th through Saturday, September 23, 2017.

Exhibit at The Ars Depot

Internal Exposure

theloaferonline.com | August 1, 2017

One More Round Penny Simmons

Contemplation Susan Bradbury

he show is a display of expressive, suggestive & mood setting works in oil and acrylic alongside a collection of assemblages of southern curiosities. The Arts Depot will host a Meetthe Artist reception on Saturday, August 12th from 2-4pm. Admission to the Arts Depot is always free and everyone is always welcome. It is through this exhibition that the dynamic duo will “speak their innermost musings to the audience” with works representing important moments of their lives. Penny sums it up by saying “I always feel like you are exposing yourself when you show your art.” Susan conveys her musings with acrylics and oils. Her love for art began at an early age growing up in the Roanoke Valley spending many days watching her mother draw and paint. Susan hoped that she would “become an artist like her.” She continued her artistic journey graduating from Radford, University with a degree in graphic art. Some 15 years later her artistic journey was jumpstarted when she discovered pastels proclaiming “I was in love.” Later she began to experiment with acrylics and oils. Most of her work has to do with “very important moments in my life…or a memory I want to relate to my viewers.” Susan particularly enjoys “capturing the spirit of a person and their inner workings.” Penny Simmons says “creativity is in my DNA… from tree houses to garden sculptures, building and tinkering on something has always been a big part of my world.” Penny was a professional Cosmetologist for 30 years. As she worked her way into retirement she started to look for classes and workshops that would hold her interest. Penny says she is a “lifetime learner, with interests ranging from aviation to beekeeping.” In 2008 she took a beginner oil painting class at her local 4-H center which “changed her world.” Many of her works in oil depict special memories that she chooses to reveal. A portion of her work is made up of paintings of the beautiful Virginia Mountains. As Penny gained knowledge and confidence as an artist she began to step out of the box with both design and material. Seeing alternative uses in everything, she made the step into assemblages of found objects that hold a special meaning to her. She assembles them in a way that is

quite intriguing and engaging to the viewer. The Arts Depot is located at 314 Depot Square, Abingdon, VA. www.abingdonartsdepot.org

theloaferonline.com | August 1, 2017

August Events

Monday, August 7 - Sunday, September 10

EnviroScape

Learn all about keeping our planet beautiful for years to come in recognition of World Water Week. Check out a miniature watershed in action with our three-dimensional EnviroScape and watch a miniature volcano erupt. Then watch our Drop in a Bucket demonstration to learn about water conservation. The Eastman Discovery Lab will be open by announcement periodically throughout each day.

Tuesday, August 15 - Monday, August 21

National Aviation Week

Join us at 11am, 1pm, and 3pm daily (3pm only on Sunday) at our Wings- Cessna 150 exhibit for some highflying fun, activities, and experiments along with a paper plane contest in honor of National Aviation Week. This activity is included free with admission, while supplies last. Monday, August 28, 9:30am-noon

Jr. Inventor Workshop

Celebrate National Inventors Month with a workshop that will help you hone in your craftsmanship, skill, and ingenuity. Assemble a miniature hovercraft, build your own table-sized, self-supporting bridge and create your own 2-liter bottle, rocket launcher. Then put your new skills to the test with a free-building activity, and invent a one-of-a-kind contraption in our feature exhibit, Make It. Take It. A healthy snack will be included as well. Cost $12 for members, $15 for non-members. Ages 7-12. Payment is required with registration by Wednesday, August 16th. To register, email reservations@ handsonmuseum.org. To ensure a fun, effective, and consistent workshop experience, parents/guardians may not present in the workshop.

Hands On Regional Museum 315 E. Main St. | Johnson City | TN | 37601

Civic Chorale to hold auditions

he Civic Chorale, the region’s leading independent auditioned choir, will hold auditions for new members beginning at 7:30 PM on Thursday, August 17 in the choir room of Munsey Memorial United Methodist Church, at the corner of Roan and Market Streets in Johnson City, where the group rehearses. The choir rehearses Thursday nights from 7:30-9:30 PM, and the first rehearsal for the fall season is Thursday, August 24.

Ideal candidates are singers with good sight reading skills who love choral music. Interested singers should contact the conductor, Rod Caldwell, via email at caldwell@ptd.net to schedule an audition. Auditions are private and short (about 10-15 minutes), and involve singing a familiar piece and musical skill assessment. Specific auditions requirements are available on the chorale’s website www.thecivicchorale.org under the “join us” tab.

OU SPOKE, WE LISTENED: Festival audiences will be “kicking up their heels” at Barter Square this summer! The Virginia Highlands Festival has “gone green” by bringing major aspects of the annual Festival back to the beautiful Barter lawn. “The rumors are true!” exclaimed Becky Caldwell, Festival Executive Director. “Our award-winning Juried Arts & Crafts Show is moving back to Barter, and we couldn’t be more excited about this homecoming!” Arts & Crafts, along with food vendors, street performers, and the Youth Tent are moving back to Barter Square on Main St. in downtown Abingdon. New sidewalks, improved landscaping, and the LOVE letters will welcome Festival-goers back to the Festival of their youth on the grounds of the historic Barter Theatre. Remember life before you had responsibilities? It’s time now for some fun again! Take a break from your usual routine, throw out your schedule, and pick up the Festival’s. Highlander program guides are available at shops and restaurants throughout the region, or dive deeper into the schedule of activities on the website: www. VaHighlandsFestival.org. Break out the sneakers, dust off your favorite pair of sunglasses, and load everyone into the car. Here are just a few ways to celebrate summer and “Kick Up Your Heels” at this year’s Festival.

FESTIVAL continued on page 15

theloaferonline.com | August 1, 2017

Kick Up Your Heels!

As the 69th Annual Virginia Highlands Festival returns to Barter Square thru Sunday, August 6th.

theloaferonline.com | August 1, 2017

Will Steal your Heart! Brand New Show Dons LampLight Stage!

nother brand new original production comes to LampLight Theatre in August! The Treehouse Thief is sure to draw you into its charming tale and bring new meaning to stories you may have heard as a child! The inspirational faith of characters featured in this production will uplift those in the darkest times of life and bring hope that your faith can shine its brightest in the darkness. When Bible Club leader, Seth Myers, prays about how to attract more members, God gives the Club

instructions to build a Treehouse. However, Ms. Byrd, the President of the Home Owner’s Association swoops in to complicate their plans. During a sale to benefit the Treehouse, Ms. Byrd is robbed, and she tweets that she believes Seth is the thief. As his reputation and the Treehouse tilt toward destruction, Seth’s faith is tested. Through Biblical icons of faith, including Noah, Job, Rahab, Joshua, and Thomas, Seth discovers how faith shines brightest in dark times. The story line branches out to encourage strong family roots and to reveal the danger of the flimsy limbs of hidden sin. Join us for Lamplight Theatre’s premier of The Treehouse Thief. Performances will be held August 18-20 & 25-27. Show times are 7:00 p.m. on Fridays and Saturdays with additional matinee performances on Saturdays at 2:00 p.m. and on Sundays at 3:00 p.m. Doors will open one hour prior to performances. Treat your date, family, or church group to Dinner before the performance! A delicious catered meal will be offered August 26th between 5:30 p.m. and 7:00 p.m. The meal will be served at The Emporium Banquet Hall (Next door to theatre). The cost is $25 per Adult / $15 per Student (ages 4-12) / Children FREE (3 & Under). Advanced reservations are required for dinner. (Prices include ticket to the show.) Show Only: Admission is a suggested donation of $10 Adults, $5 Students, and FREE for children 5 and under. Doors will open one hour prior. For reservations and more information, please contact the LampLight box office at 423-343-1766, Monday through Friday from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., or visit www.LampLightTheatre.com.

theloaferonline.com | August 1, 2017

non-credit course focuses on plant-based menu

Garden Chronicles

aking advantage of the plethora of fresh produce coming 11 from area gardens and farmers markets, East Tennessee State University’s Office of Professional Development will offer a six-week cooking course, “Garden Chronicles.” The course will be taught by local chef and restauranteur Sheridan Dockery Nice, a classically trained chef who studied at La Verenne, Ecole de Cuisine, in Paris. She is the owner of Mona Lisa’s Gelato and the former owner of Epicurean. “This is the perfect time of year to focus on a more plant-based menu,” Nice said. “Area gardens are offering up their spectacular bounty, and local farmers markets are bursting at the seams with countless heirloom varieties of all sorts of vegetables. “We’ll take our cue from modern French cuisine, focusing on seasonal ingredients and whole foods, and the recipes will also be inspired by ethnic flavors from around the world. Every class will be spent preparing a meal, which we will then share together. Each meal will include a light entrée of fish, poultry or meat, as well. We want to promote local foods and food production, along with gastronomy.” “Garden Chronicles” will meet for six weeks starting Aug. 15 in the Foods Lab of ETSU’s Hutcheson Hall. Each class will be held from 5:30-9:30 p.m. Registration is $189 and includes all food for a meal at every meeting, most of which will come from Mona Lisa’s organic garden. For registration or more information, call the ETSU Office of Professional Development at 1-800-222-3878. For disability accommodations, call the ETSU Office of Disability Services at 423439-8346.

Evan Bartels Great Americana Tour

The Acoustic Coffeehouse August 1st www.evanbartels.com www.facebook.com/theevanbartels

theloaferonline.com | August 1, 2017

theloaferonline.com | March 28, 2017

Town Mountain & Jonathan Byrd On Farm and Fun Time

Live Radio Bristol Variety Show at the Birthplace of Country Music Museum

he Birthplace of Country Music proudly presents the August edition of Radio Bristol's Farm and Fun Time, the warm-hearted musical variety show that is performed before a live studio audience at the Birthplace of Country Music Museum! On Thursday, August 10, 2017 at 7:00 p.m. Farm and Fun Time will feature the hard-driving sound of Town Mountain and stellar singer-songwriter Jonathan Byrd. "We are excited to bring Farm and Fun Time back home after last month's live broadcast from the Grey Fox Bluegrass Festival and to host two world class bands out of the great state of North Carolina," said Farm and Fun Time host Kris Truelsen. "Getting both Jonathan Byrd and Town Mountain on the same bill is really going to be a treat. Byrd has been touring Europe most of the summer and Town Mountain just played the Opry last week so this is your chance to see two very high-in-demand bands in our intimate theater. As we all know,Farm and Fun Time is always a guaranteed knock out show so don't miss it!" Raw, soulful, and with plenty of swagger, Town Mountain has earned raves for their songwriting and the honky-tonk edge that permeates their exhilarating live performances. The hearty base of Town Mountain's music is the bluegrass triumvirate of Bill Monroe, Lester Flatt, and Earl Scruggs. Jonathan Byrd is a preacher's son, a Gulf War veteran, and an award-winning songwriter from Chapel Hill, North Carolina, known for literary, outsider songs that have become campfire favorites. The Chicago Tribunecalled Byrd "one of the top 50 songwriters in the past 50 years." Radio Bristol's Farm and Fun Time radio show is recorded before a live audience and is broadcast live as well as via webcast. Radio Bristol can be accessed on 100.1 FM in the Bristol area, online atListenRadioBristol.org, and through the station's free mobile app. Tickets to Farm and Fun Time featuring Town Mountain and Jonathan Byrd are $25 and can be purchased at BirthplaceofCountryMusic.org and at the Birthplace of Country Music Museum.

theloaferonline.com | August 1, 2017

Itsy-Bitsy Spider, among other favorites. curious blend of Tickets for the Saturday morning silly and serious, show are just $5 for all ages, and ticket a c c l a i m e d holders will receive coupons for 15 storyteller David percent off at The Lollipop Shop, a Novak brings a studied popular Main Street store that sells whimsy to his craft that old-fashioned sweets and toys. hints at his early career in Ticketholders for all performances children’s theater. In a field can present their ticket stubs for a where many of his peers 10 percent discount on same-day naturally gravitate to just dining at JJ’s Eatery and Ice Cream one or two genres—tall tales or Main Street Café, two popular or personal stories, say— eateries in Jonesborough. the only thing this kinetic All concerts will be downtown performer will commit to in the Mary B. Martin Storytelling is a promise to always mix Hall, located in the International things up. Storytelling Center, on Main “I think it’s fair to say I’m Street. The International one of the most eclectic Storytelling Center is open 10 storytellers on the scene,” a.m. – 5 p.m., Monday through he says. “I’m constantly Saturday. For more information trying to change it up from one style to the next. about Storytelling Live! or to make a group reservation, call (800) 952“I move along the borderlands between many different traditions,” he continues. “I’m interested in the 8392 ext. 222 or (423) 913-1276 or visit www.storytellingcenter.net. connection between personal experience and collective stories like folk tales, fairy tales, and myths, looking for the relationships that they have with one another and what they have to say about us in the present day.” His weeklong storytelling residency will include a series of afternoon concerts from August 8 - 12 (Tuesday through Saturday), beginning at 2 p.m. each day. Tickets are just $12 for adults and $11 for seniors, students, and children under 18 for all performances. Reservations are highly recommended. In addition to a week’s worth of matinees, Novak plans to host a children’s concert on Saturday, August 12, at 10:30 a.m. Geared towards children ages six through ten, the show will feature Novak’s take on the

Storytelling Live! Welcomes

Storyteller k a v o N d i v a D

Juried Arts & Crafts The region’s best artisans will be gathered at Barter Square. Browse the booths and get inspired at this Pinterest-worthy show, running thru Sunday, August 6; 10 a.m.-6 p.m. daily, rain or shine. One-of-a-kind finds, craft demonstrations, food vendors and more are waiting under the big tents.

Signature Art Dance Performance This year’s Signature Art is dance. For the first time ever, the dance schools that call Abingdon “home” are performing on the same stage. Led by Signature Artists Highlands Ballet Company, they will be joined by Appalachian Ballet, Grace Studio of Motion and Dance, and Xtreme Dance Company on Friday, August 4th at 7:30 p.m. at the McGlothlin Center at Emory & Henry College.

Storybook Evolution Get your kids reading-ready for the school year at the Youth tent with Highlands Educational Literacy Program (HELP) and the United Way Smart Beginnings program. Kids will learn how to use words and pictures to create their own storybook. Completed books will be eligible for prizes, but everyone wins when they fall in love with reading! Workshop days are Wednesday August 2, and Friday August 4.

Live Music This year’s music lineup will definitely have you kicking up your heels! • Tuesday, August 1 - Carson Peters & Iron Mountain with The Honey Badgers • Thursday, August 3 - Virginia Ground with C2 and the Brothers Reed • Friday, August 4 - Acoustic Music Afternoon with Robin & Will, Larry Mangum, and The Brother Boys • Saturday, August 5 - Vegas McGraw: A Tim McGraw tribute show • Sunday, August 6 - Classical Music Sunday with the Johnson City Symphony Quartet

Day in Damascus Explore beyond Abingdon into the neighboring town of Damascus. Take a walking tour, snorkel in Whitetop-Laurel Creek, and wrap up your day back in Abingdon with “Tales of the Trail” (stories from thru-hikers on the Appalachian Trail). These are just a few of the 200-plus events that make up this year’s Festival! For more information about all Festival events, pick up a Highlander program guide or visit the Festival’s website at www.VaHighlandsFestival.org. The Festival was selected as the “Best Art Event” by the readers of Virginia Living magazine in 2016 (fifth year in a row), recognized as a Top 20 Event by the Southeastern Tourism Society and has been consistently named as one of the American Bus Association’s Top 100 Tourist Attractions over the past four decades. In 2017, the 69th Virginia Highlands Festival will run from July 28-Aug. 6 (Antiques Market opens Saturday, July 29) and feature live concerts, a juried arts and crafts show, and an antique market, as well as workshops, lectures and tours. To learn more about the Virginia Highlands Festival and this year’s events, please visit http://www.vahighlandsfestival.org/

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FESTIVAL continued from page 9

Spotlight

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- TUESDAY - August 1st -

If you or your band are playing in the upcoming week and would like to be in The Spotlight, call in advance to (423) 283-4324 or go online to: theloaferonline.com. Due to last minute cancellations or changes, please call the location to confirm.

- SATURDAY - August 5th -

- FRIDAY - August 4th -

Crobot with Royal Thunder Holston River Brewing Company

Farmhouse Ghost Bone Fire Smokehouse

Unspoken Tradition Capitol Theatre

Old Movie Night at Bear’s Bar

Nightshift Band Lion’s Club

John Paul Riddle Our House Restaurant

Evan Bartels Acoustic Coffeehouse

Monk & Malone Our House Restaurant

49 Winchester & Magus Vaughn Ma & Pa’s Restaurant

Asylum Suite Sonny’s Cafe

Guy Marshall Damascus Brewery

My New Favorites & Adam Graybeal’s Hillbilly Soul Border Bash

Oslo Cole Damascus Brewery

Dangermuffin Founders After 5

Wyldeheart Holston River Brewing Company

Lodi Band The Market

CHR Band Bristol Station Brews & Taproom

Folk Soul Revival Wolf Hills Brewing

Shooter Band Bristol Country Show Palace

Borderline CJ’s Sports Bar

Adam Graybeals Hillbilly Soul Lakeview Marina Marker II

49 Winchester and Fritz Co. Holston River Brewing Company

Junkyard Dogz Bears Bar

Borderline Lakeview Marina Marker II

Railway Express Country Club Bar & Grill

Acoustifried Los Amigo’s

Karoke Los Amigo’s

Wise Old River, Smokehouse Crickets, Amythyst Kiah Model City Tap House

Joe Cat Acoustic Coffeehouse

Irenka Acoustic Coffeehouse

- WEDNESDAY - August 2nd Moviebrain / Pleasures / Mind Modes The Hideaway Acousta Pimps Wild Wing Cafe Evan Bartels The Harvest Table Bike Night Bears Bar Jeff Ruby Acoustic Coffeehouse

- THURSDAY - August 3rd Jam with Alex Leonard Wellington’s Restaurant Dennis Coffey Art in the Heart Gallery Southern Rebellion at Quaker Steak & Lube Live Music at Bone Fire Smokehouse Open Talent Night Bears Bar Stone Faced Prophets Woodstone Deli Six String Sundown Los Amigo’s NOSTALGIA Duo Rock’s Wood Fired Pizza & Grill

- FRIDAY - August 4th Mahto / Love Unit / Patrick Taylor / Revenge Technician The Hideaway The Monday Movement / Loose Leaves / Sterling Springs Capone’s Mike Snodgrass Band Wild Wing Cafe The Force Field Sleepy Owl Brewery Screaming J’s The Willow Tree Coffeehouse & Music Room Herrick Down Home Scott Miller Capitol Theatre

- SUNDAY - August 6th -

- SATURDAY - August 5th Order of the Owl w/ Uktena and Bones of Mary Capone’s Asylum Suite at Quaker Steak & Lube Flashback Wild Wing Cafe The Rise of an Empire The Hyperion Grill Amethyst Kiah Model City Tap House Model City Wrecking Crew Kingsport Moose Lodge #972

Mike Snodgrass Band Wild Wing Cafe Travis O’Quinn Sonny’s Cafe Ivy Road Lakeview Marina Marker

- MONDAY - August 7th Open Mic at Acoustic Coffeehouse

- TUESDAY - August 8th -

David & Mason Via w/ Adam Bolt The Willow Tree Coffeehouse & Music Room

Stemwinder Rock’s Wood Fired Pizza & Grill

Momma Molasses Sleepy Owl Brewery

The Who Doos Holston River Brewing Company

Nightshift Band David Thompson’s Produce Catfish Frye Band Sonny’s Marina

for show time & more details, visit

theloaferonline.com

Country Club Bar & Grill 3080 W State St Bristol 423-844-0400

Model City Tap House 324 E Market St. Kingsport 423-765-0875

Bear's Bar 4460 Highway 421 Bristol TN 423-502-1975

Holiday Inn (Exit 7) 3005 Linden Dr. Bristol VA 276-466-4100

Quaker Steak & Lube 629 State St. Bristol VA 276-644-9464

Bone Fire Smokehouse at the Hardware 260 W Main St Abingdon VA 276-623-0037

Holston River Brewing Company 2623 Volunteer Pkwy Bristol TN

Rock’s Wood Fired Pizza & Grill 3119 Bristol Hwy. Johnson City 423-262-0444

CJ’S Sports Bar 516 Morelock St. Kingsport 423-390-1361

Lakeview Marina 474 Lakeside Dock Drive Kingsport

TUESDAY Karaoke w/ Tina and West at Dawg House Tavern Karaoke w/ Absolute Entertainment at Logans Karaoke with Top shelf Entertainment at Boomershine’s Karaoke at Numan’s - Johnson City TN *********************** WEDNESDAY Karaoke w/ Southern Sounds Karaoke at American Legion 8pm Karaoke at CJ’s Sports Bar Karaoke w/ DJ Todd & Top Shelf Entertainment at Holston River Brewing Company Karaoke w/ DJ Brad & Top Shelf Entertainment at Quaker Steak & Lube Karaoke w/ Absolute Entertainment at Smokey Bones - Johnson City TN Turn the Page Karaoke at VFW Post 2108 - Johnson City TN *********************** THURSDAY Karaoke w/ Absolute Entertainment at Macado’s - Kingsport Karaoke at CJ’s Sports Bar Karaoke w/ Top Shelf Entertainment at Painter Creek Marina Karaoke at Numan’s - Johnson City TN Karaoke w/ Absolute Entertainment at New Beginning’s Karaoke at Jiggy Rays Pizzaria ***********************

Sonny’s Marina & Café 109 One Street Gray, TN 423-282-9440

FRIDAY Karaoke w/ Southern Sounds Karaoke at Sportsman’s Bar & Grill 9pm Karaoke w/ Absolute Entertainment at Los Amigos - Kingsport Karaoke w/ Shane Rouse at Bear’s Bar Karaoke at Kingsport Moose Lodge Karaoke w/ Reverb Karaoke at The Cottage 8:30 pm Turn the Page Karaoke at VFW Post 2108 - Johnson City TN Karaoke w/ Toddzilla at Sportsmans Pub Karaoke at CJ’s Sports Bar Karaoke w/ DJ Brad & Top Shelf Entertainment at BoBo’s - Damascus VA Karaoke at Elizabethton VFW - Elizabethton TN Karaoke w/ DJ Marquez & Top Shelf Entertainment at Holiday Inn (Exit 7) - Bristol VA Karaoke at Numan’s - Johnson City TN *********************** SATURDAY Karaoke at The Horseshoe Lounge Karaoke w/ Toddzilla at Sportsmans Pub Karaoke at Kingsport Moose Lodge Turn the Page Karaoke at VFW Post 2108 - Johnson City TN Karaoke w/ Absolute Entertainment at Macado’s - Kingsport Karaoke at Numan’s - Johnson City TN ***********************

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SPOTLIGHT DIRECTORY

KARAOKE

Acoustic Coffeehouse 415 W Walnut St. Johnson City 423-434-9872

theloaferonline.com | August 1, 2017

Eclipse Fever Mounts Relax, Enjoy It

Y Stargazer

By Mark Marquette since 1996 stargazermarq@ gmail.com

The hype is underway as Monday, Aug. 21st will see tens of millions of Americans in a black out. That’s the afternoon that our star is covered up by the Moon in broad daylight, turning daytime into night for just two minutes.

ou’ve heard about it. Maybe you’re among the estimated 5 million Americans who are going to drive to a town where that 70 mile-wide-band of totality races across our country from sea to shining sea. Or maybe you don’t care that much, and seeing the partial phases wherever you live will be exciting enough. After all, it is a Monday work day. And the entire eclipse happens in East Tennessee/ Southwest Virginia from around 1 pm to 4 pm Eastern Daylight Time, with totality or maximum coverage occurring around 2:25 pm. Exact times depend on where you are watching. The Moon’s shadow bisects America as it moves at 2,100 miles an hour, the speed our satellite orbits Earth. The Moon’s shadow will take 90 minutes to traverse the 3,000 miles between America’s coasts, but local times make it seem like all day. The Moon takes its first bite out of the near Salem, Oregon at 9:05 am local time, and ends in Charleston, SC at 4:10 pm local time! Everyone in the United States will see at least 60 percent coverage of the Sun by our Moon. Lots of major cities in Canada and Mexico Canadian cities will see 30-70 per cent of an eclipse. The Great American Eclipse (.com) will be controlled by the uncontrollable—the weather. So, the most popular person in the country will be our local weatherman on Sunday night, telling millions of eclipse chasers to go to witness one of the most incredible natural wonders of our celestial world. DO NOT LOOK AT THE SUN WITH ANY OPTICAL AID, INCLUDING BINOCULARS OR RIFLE SCOPE. You will injure your eyes! If the Sun can burn our skin, and light paper when magnified, just think what it WILL do to your retina in seconds. Information abounds and local businesses (like home center Lowes) have displays with safe “solar glasses” that are paper with Mylar lenses that reject 99 percent of sunlight, safe to look at during partial phases. They cost $2-3, and I predict will pop up at convenience stores. Eclipse 2017 is all about the weather. The week of August 14 will begin to show its hand, and superduper predictions will begin. And I’ll be anxiously tuned in to all the expert meteorologists, as I’ve never seen a total eclipse of the Sun, just a dozen or so partial ones. So, I am among the millions ready to drive somewhere between Nashville, Tennessee and Charleston, South Carolina.

A consideration: Interstate traffic. America’s East Coast to Appalachia is among the most densely populated in our country. It will be crazy on Interstates in Tennessee (I-75, I-40, I-81) and South Carolina (I-26, I-95), and of course the main routes west of the Mississippi River. Use your head and leave Sunday or very early Monday morning to your eclipse destination. Any bets on some major interstate traffic jams? Also, a consideration: forget photos. You only have 150 seconds or so of totality. Veteran eclipse watchers have a cliché saying: all total eclipses last 8 seconds. That’s telling me to look up and take it in, which is what I a plan to do, firing off just a few photos. If you do take photos, keep it very simple and be set up in advance for just two or three images. There will be plenty of photos to see from professional eclipse watchers. I’m going to run a video on a tripod beginning a few minutes before totality and capture the candid reactions. Not everything about a solar eclipse happens in the sky. The impression of your surroundings is what you take away from a total solar eclipse. And that lends itself to all our senses and can inspire artists of all types of mediums, from paintings to pottery. Around 15 minutes before totality, the air temperature will start to drop as the Moon begins its final moments of covering up the Sun. In the twilight, wildlife and livestock will be affected. Cows will begin heading to the barn for bed, and then turn around two minutes later, possibly confused. Roosters will crow good night, and then good morning. Though they are mostly in dark caves, some bats under bridges might head out for a snack quickly run from the light. Maybe fireflies will come out and frogs begin crooking? Nature everywhere will be putting on quite a show. Even if cloudy under the 70-mile-wide swath of the total eclipse, it will become night for more than two minutes.

A quick as it starts, the solar climax is over. Daylight will return and the Moon will move away from the Sun for the next 90 minutes, the eclipse completely over after 4 pm Eastern Daylight Time. And everyone can reload for the next total solar eclipse in America on April 8, 2024, this one cutting a northern total band from San Angelo, Texas to Cleveland, Ohio. The Aug. 21st eclipse will be total just south of Knoxville, with Clingman’s Dome in the Great Smokey Mountains being a major location. Chattanooga is just south of the center line. Other interesting geography of the band of totality is in Missouri: you must be on the north side of Kansas City or the south side of St. Louis to see totality as both downtowns will see 99.9 per cent coverage of the Moon over the Sun. Here are some of the nearby, major towns along the 2017 total eclipse path: Clarksville, TN, 1:27 pm Central Daylight Time; Nashville, TN, 1:28 pm CDT; Greenville, S.C., 2:39 pm Eastern Daylight Time; Columbia, SC, 2:43 pm EDT; Charleston, SC, 2:28 pm EDT. Towns along I-75 south of Knoxville that will be filled with eclipse watchers are: Farragut, Loudon, Sweetwater, Athens, Hopewell and Cleveland. Remote areas of Western North Carolina include Cherokee, Lake Santteentiah, Andrews and Cashiers. And how about friends across the country? Here are some cities and the percentage the Sun will be covered by the Moon: Cincinnati, OH, 92; Dallas, TX, 80; Seattle, WA; 93; Washington, DC, 85; Tampa, FL 85; Louisville, KY 96; Hartford, CT, 73; Baton Rouge, LA 80; Los Angeles, CA, 69; New York, NY, 77.

he rising, gibbous Moon in twilight this week will make for some spectacular photography against our Appalachian Mountains. With todays extreme zoom digital cameras it’s easy to find the right exposure combination of ISO, f-stop and shutter speed to give you a great photo: the key is to capture the dark Maria on the Moon and the landscape on the Earth. Find Saturn to the left of the Moon on Wednesday and to the right of the Moon on Thursday. Tuesday, August 1 Rip a page off the calendar and it’s suddenly August. This month was the sixth in the Roman Year (that began with March) and called “Sextilis.” But in 8 BC, new Emperor Augustus Caesar renamed the month after himself, since his great Uncle Julius had his own month, too.

Saturday, August 5 After midnight, there is a good chance to see some meteors, aka “shooting stars.” There is an Aquarid Meteor shower going on, and in a week is the Perseid Meteor Shower. But moonshine will interfere with both meteor showers, allowing only the brightest “shooting stars” to shine through.

Wednesday, August 2 On this 1971 date in space history, Apollo 15 moon ship Falcon rocketed off the Moon in the first televised launch from the lunar surface. The astronauts discovered what was dubbed the “Genesis Rock” as it’s the oldest brought back from the Moon or ever found on Earth at 4.2 billion years old.

Sunday, August 6 On this 1961 date in space history, Russian Gherman Titov was the second person rocketed into space, and the first to sleep during his full day journey. Titov, deceased, is still the youngest of more than 500 human space travelers—his flight was one month before his 26th birthday. The youngest American is still Sally Ride, deceased, who was 32 on her flight aboard Space Shuttle Challenger in 1983.

Thursday, August 3 That’s planet Saturn playing tag with the Moon last night and tonight. Put a telescope, any telescope, on both objects for a real thrill: craters and mountains on the Moon and, yes, those rings around Saturn are real. Friday, August 4 Don’t forget Jupiter, looming high in the west after sunset and still the brightest “star” in the sky until it sets around 11 pm. Any telescope will show the giant planet’s globe and the four moons discovered by Galileo more than 400 years ago.

Monday, August 7 Full Moon today, the Green Corn or Grain Moon to Native Americans. On this 1997 date in space history, Space Shuttle Discovery was launched on 85th Space Transportation Mission (STS), thus STS-85. Six astronauts spent 12 days in space releasing and recapturing an atmospheric satellite and testing materials for the International Space Station.

19 theloaferonline.com | August 1, 2017

THIS WEEK

SKIES

Celestial events in the skies for the week of August 1-7, 2017 as compiled for The Loafer by Mark D. Marquette.

Uncle Shuffelo

theloaferonline.com | August 1, 2017

and His Haint Hollow Hootenany

aturday, August 5th, 2017, at 7:30 p.m., the Carter Family Fold in Hiltons, Virginia will present a concert of old time music by Uncle Shuffelo and His Haint Hollow Hootenanny. Concert admission is $10 for adults, $2 for children 6 to 11, under age 6 free. This weekend would normally be our annual Carter Family Memorial Festival, but it has been moved to the first weekend of November in honor of the release of the first Carter Family 78 record on the 4th of November in 1927. Our annual festivals in the future will take place the first weekend of November as well. Uncle Shuffelo and His Haint Hollow Hootenanny is a seven-piece, old-time string band from Rover, Tennessee, with musical influences by the Carter Family, Gid Tanner, Uncle Dave Macon, the Coon Creek Girls and many other old-time bands from year’s past. Band members emanate from the Williams and Derryberry Families. Uncle Shuffelo (Keith Williams) plays banjo. Austin Derryberry, age 19, plays fiddle, banjo, ukulele, guitar, and harmonica. Brian Derryberry plays upright bass. Conner Derryberry, age 11, plays the banjo, bones and spoons. Emma Jean Williams plays autoharp and jug. Megan Williams, age 22, plays washboard and kazoo. Courtney Williams, age 20, plays guitar, banjo, ukulele and tuba.

Uncle Shuffelo and the Hootenanny have won many accolades including old-time band championships at the State of Tennessee Old –Time Fiddlers Convention, Tennessee Valley Fiddlers Convention and the Uncle Dave Macon Old-Time Music Festival. Their individual championships include Austin on old-time fiddle, banjo, autoharp and old-time singing; Connor as the 2016 Double Fellowship Award recipient at the Uncle Dave Macon Old-Time Music Festival and Megan and Courtney for old-time singing. The distinctions for this band are too many to list. Please visit their website www.uncleshuffeo.com or their Facebook page www.facebook.com/Shuffelo/ for more information. The Hootenanny plays old-time hillbilly music for the soul. Everyone in the family will enjoy a night of dancing and laughter. Bring your dancing shoes and all your friends and family for a carefree night in the place country music got its’ start – at the foot of the beautiful Clinch Mountains. This concert will be the group’s third performance at the Fold. Their first one nearly brought the house down. For information, go to www.carterfamilyfold.org or www.carterfamilyfold.com. For recorded show information on the upcoming Saturday show at the Fold, call 276-386-6054

Fashion Contra in Jonesborough!

theloaferonline.com | August 1, 2017

Skirts and Shirts

The Historic Jonesborough Dance Society welcomes Asheville- 21 based band “The Stuff” with caller, Lauren Kriel, for a contra dance on Saturday, August 5, 2017 at the Jonesborough Visitors Center, 117 Boone Street. There will be a class for beginners at 7:00pm followed by the dance from 7:30-10:30pm. There will be a break at 9:00pm where dancers will parade down the runway showing off their colorful skirts and Hawaiian-style or tie-dyed shirts. Klondike Bars will be offered to all comers. Admission to the dance is $7, $5 for HJDS members and $5 for students and children.

he beginner’s workshop gives the experienced dancers and first timers a chance to warm up together. The caller explains many of the calls such as balance and swing, star left and star right, ladies chain across, Do-si-do, courtesy turn, allemande and hey for four. Many of these calls would be familiar to anyone who has square danced. The contra dance employs a longwise set and allows couples to progress up and down the line to dance with all other couples. It’s a group dance where everyone in the longwise set interacts with everyone else during the song which lasts anywhere from seven to ten minutes. It’s a simple walking step that requires no special foot work. “We get asked all the time about what to wear for a contra dance.” Adds event organizer, David Wiley. It is traditional for women to wear twirl-able, brightly-patterned, skirts to a contra dance. Some dancers enjoy twirling, so the skirts feel light and airy while twirling, and make for a festive scene. Some men even like to wear such skirts, for the same reason! The “Skirts and Shirts” fashion idea came from the fact that many women shop for the prairie or stagecoach skirts at thrift stores, yard sales and other second-hard shops. While twirling, the skirts splay out into a beautiful display of color and style. For the men, you will see many wear flowered or multicolored tie-dyed shirts. What fun it will be to see all the colors twirling down our center floor runway! Some door prizes will be awarded for the most creative and colorful. Of course, anyone can come dressed in the most casual and comfortable attire for dancing. The Stuff consists of Gretchen Caverly on fiddle and Nic Coker on guitar. This will be the last calling appearance in the area and somewhat of a going away party for Lauren Kriel, a graduate of Warren Wilson College in Swanannoa. Lauren will be moving to Chicago to attend graduate school at Northwestern majoring in sound arts and industries. Lauren looks forward to a career in radio and podcasting. “We combine traditional live music and dances that anyone can do” adds Wiley. The dances are held two times per month in the Historic Jonesborough Visitors Center. All the dances are taught by the caller. You don’t have to bring a partner. The dances are smoke, alcohol and fragrances free. Families with children are welcome. The best age to start is around eight years old. For more information, contact David Wiley, event organizer at 423534-8879 or visit www.historicjonesboroughdancesociety.org and the Historic Jonesborough Dance Society on FACEBOOK.

theloaferonline.com | August 1, 2017

Spammy McSpammerton I was sleeping soundly in my bed, dreaming sweet dreams of being an obese German child frolicking without care in a field full of cheese and sausages.

Batteries Not Included

By Andy Ross aross@ theloaferonline.com

y sweet dream of tasty pork products and fine aged cheddars was ended when the telephone rang. I groggily woke up, grabbed my phone, and answered it. The voice on the other end wasn’t that of a friend, but of some strange voice that sounded electronically processed. “Hello. This is your final warning. You owe the IRS money…” this is when I realized it was a spam call. I yelled a cuss word so loudly I scared my cat, and hung up the phone, angrily thrusting my head back onto the pillow. Now wide awake, staring at the ceiling in rage, I knew that sleep would not come back, I might as well get up and make coffee. Have you noticed an increase in spam calls lately? It seems I get anywhere from five-six a day. I’m on that “do not call” list, but that doesn’t seem to help at all. Most times when the phone rings I don’t even answer it anymore. Unless it’s someone I know, I let it go to voicemail. I don’t know what is going on that has caused an increase in these phone calls, but it seems like in the past year they’ve gotten out of hand. People telling me I owe money to various

agencies, someone telling me I won a trip, or someone calling to tell me something is up with my car. One day I got so frustrated with one number that kept calling me over and over again, that when they called one afternoon I just shouted lyrics to “Weird Al” songs into the phone at them. It was then I learned that my phone has a block feature, and I began to block people like it was a family tradition. There’s a joy in using the block feature of your phone to keep people from calling you. “Take that, person trying to sell me a timeshare!” I’ll yell as I hit that precious block button. I found being studious with the blocking has caused the number of calls to decrease quite happily. Now I get the occasional number I don’t know and I follow my well established protocol. I feel for the non-robocalls who are actual people. I know it must suck when your job is to con Granny out of her money. I guess you get used to being hung up on if you’re in that position. Maybe some of the calls are legit, maybe some of them are just people trying to sell you Florida swampland as if it’s a fancy home done up by someone on HGTV. Still, I’m leary of these calls. Maybe it’s the Russians trying to get to my stash of promo photos of Universal Monsters to create some kind of Fake News story? All I know is I hate it when the phone calls happen early and rush me out of bed or drag me from my shower. That I do not care for, and it would be nice if that “Do Not Call” list actually worked. But I have found a happy medium in blocking all day and blocking all night. I hope you too find the freedom I have found in blocking people from calling me. Here’s hoping your next call is a loved one, and not news you owe the IRS money. See you next week.

Protect

Your Pet from Overheating • Know the symptoms of overheating in pets, which include excessive panting or difficulty breathing, increased heart and respiratory rate, drooling, mild weakness, stupor or even collapse. Symptoms can also include seizures, bloody diarrhea and vomit along with an elevated body temperature of over 104 degrees. • Animals with flat faces, like Pugs and Persian cats, are more susceptible to heat stroke since they cannot pant as effectively. These pets, along with the elderly, the overweight, and those with heart or lung diseases, should be kept cool in air-conditioned rooms as much as possible. • Never leave your animals alone in a parked vehicle. Not only can it lead to fatal heat stroke, it is illegal in several states! • Do not leave pets unsupervised around a pool—not all dogs are good swimmers. Introduce your pets to water gradually and make sure they wear flotation devices when on boats. Rinse your dog off after swimming to remove chlorine or salt from his fur, and try to keep your dog from drinking pool water, which contains chlorine and other chemicals. • Open unscreened windows pose a real danger to pets, who often fall out of them. Keep all unscreened windows or doors in your home closed, and make sure adjustable screens are tightly secured. • Feel free to trim longer hair on your dog, but never shave your dog: The layers of dogs’ coats protect them from overheating and sunburn. Brushing cats more often than usual can prevent problems caused by excessive heat. And be sure that any sunscreen or insect repellent product you use on your pets is labeled specifically for use on animals. • When the temperature is very high, don’t let your dog linger on hot asphalt. Being so close to the ground, your pooch’s body can heat up quickly, and sensitive paw pads can burn. Keep walks during these times to a minimum.

theloaferonline.com | August 1, 2017

VALERIAN

theloaferonline.com | August 1, 2017

and the City of a Thousand Planets

(Rated PG-13) 2 aliens (out of 4)

Pop Life

By Ken Silvers ksilvers@ theloaferonline.com

The new film "Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets" certainly has an intimidating title. Some of you may have scratched your head at the title, while other film fans new it was based on a comic book.

ith movies based on comic book charters being the hottest genre of films over the last several years, it should come as no surprise Hollywood decided to make a film based on the Valerian comics. The story is set in the 28th century and features a special operative team consisting of Valerian (Dane DeHaan) and Laureline (Cara Delevingne), who maintain order throughout the various human territories in space. The two are sent to Aplah, an ever growing space station/metropolis where species from throughout the universe have gathered to share knowledge and cultures, in order to identify a menace that threatens all those who reside there. Think of Alpha as a United Nations in outer-space. Alpha features all manner of aliens, some of which would be at home in any "Star Wars" or "Star Trek" movie. If only this movie were as good as the aforementioned film series. This is a film that sends characters into another dimension when they don special glasses, providing a perfect excuse for the special effects team to run wild. The bottom line of the often confusing plot is Valerian and Laureline are attempting to stop the bad guys of the film, who turn out not to be the ones we suspect, and Valerians attempts at convincing Laureline to marry him. The film also features the always talented Clive Owen as Valerian and Laureline's commander, and singer Rihanna as a shape-shifting entertainer named Bubble. Yes, Bubble. I must say the film kept my attention, but not in the way I had hoped. The film provides tons of glorious cinema eye candy with eye-popping

colors and amazing 3D effects, but the distractions do not deter from the films real problem: the actors, at least the live-action ones. While DeHann and Delevingne are pleasant enough to watch, their "acting" would make a community theater cower in shame. Lead actor DeHann at times appears to have dark circles under his eyes (perhaps from staying awake nights wondering why he chose this film), while Delevingne's eyebrows would make Joan Crawford jealous. Dark circles and eyebrows do not a good actor make. While I was watching this duo with their total lack of onscreen chemistry, I kept wondering if they might redeem themselves by the end of the film. Alas, their performances fall with a resounding thud. One would imagine Owen and Rihanna might add some life to the proceedings, but even Owen seems bored and Rihanna is basically used as if she were doing dance moves from her concerts. The best actors in the film by far are the main CGI aliens from the planet Mul, who display more emotion than any of the human actors in the film. In hindsight, maybe the filmmakers should have used all CGI actors and saved us the pain and the actors the embarrassment. Director Luc Besson ("The Fifth Element") does the best he can with the material, but did nothing to save the actors from residing in mannequin land. For me, the best aspects of the film are the dazzling visuals and 3D effects. Thus, if you don't mind dealing with stiff acting and a messy plot line to see breathtaking visuals, then "Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets" is a nice place to visit but you wouldn't want to live there.

The Campout Live Music Series

on McGlocklin, the new Entertainment Director at the Brewery, announces the debut show for HRB's Campout Live Music Series this Friday night. Two great bands will provide the entertainment. This series is running through October. $10 to pitch a tent or park overnight in the Thunder Valley Campground onsite at the Brewery. Have an RV or camper needing a hookup? Only $20. The aim is to allow folks to party as late as they want and not get out on the roads – simply camp overnight. The Brewery will have breakfast available on Saturday morning. Sounds like a great concept! Headlining Friday’s music show is 49 Winchester, who made their return to the local scene playing at Bristol's Border Bash with Indighost. They have a string of shows coming up and they’re kicking it off at HRB. Also playing Friday is Fritz & Co., an Indie Folk band from Abingdon, VA. They are fronted by Logan Fritz who will be attending the ETSU Bluegrass and Old Time program this fall. Should be a solid night of music for this first Campout Live event.

Bike Night is Alive and Well

Festivals

Got an event coming up?

Events

Send it to The Loafer! info@theloaferonline.com

Concerts

Exhibits

DollyWood Passes

Many folks are under the impression that the Bike Night at the Brewery is over. Not true! The original sponsorship ended in July, and Tri Cities Live brought a combined event for August 1, but the regular, no cover, Bike Night is back on August 8 and every Tuesday after that. The band on the 8th is The Who Doos, playing from 6:30 – 9:30. Jump on your bike and head over for the same great experience you have been enjoying all summer long.

The Holly Help Spay-Neuter Fund is offering two free DollyWood passes to one of our very fortunate donors.

ll donations to the Holly Help Fund which are received between August 1st and those postmarked by August 20th will be eligible to qualify for an opportunity to receive two free DollyWood pass bracelets. Bracelets are good for September 4th (Labor Day ONLY). Winner will be notified by telephone on August 25th. Proceeds from this event will be used to support public spay-neuter efforts for dogs and cats in our area. For more information, please visit www.HollyHelp.org.

25 theloaferonline.com | August 1, 2017

Holston River Brewing Co. debuts

theloaferonline.com | August 1, 2017

Rock Creek Recreation Area It almost goes without saying how much we take things for granted, especially those with which we are familiar. With enough exposure, even the most awe-inspiring view can become just another part of the landscape.

Appalachian Wanderers

By Jason & Daniel Worley jdworley@ theloaferonline.com

hat thrilling first day on the new job gives way to monotonous hours glued to a desk. Those who go out of their way to help us become expected to do so. Others who we write off as annoyances become tear gaping holes in our hearts when they’re no longer in our lives and we realize for the first time that we actually miss them. Occasionally, we find ourselves guilty of doing this in regards to the area in which we live. Who doesn’t dream of daily trips to Disney World, climbing the highest peaks of the Rockies, or sitting surfside on the California coast? The landscapes and destinations of America are some of the most amazing in the world, but it’s easy to forget what a beautiful area we have for ourselves here as well. Sure, we may take an occasional walk to Roan Mountain, but those forested hills simply fade into the haze on many a day commuting down I-26. Millions of visitors from around the world visit the Southern Appalachians each year, so maybe they see something we don’t? Last weekend we drove down to Erwin while visiting our amazing friend and fellow Loafer contributor Ken Silvers (Go check out his awesome Pop Life life column!). We took a brief break from our weekly comic book shop quest to explore the Rock Creek Recreation Area, a wonderful jewel located just a couple of miles outside of downtown Erwin. Easy to miss due to a broken sign, the entrance is located on TN-395 just before it begins the climb up to Indian Grave Gap at the North Carolina line. While we have been to Erwin dozens of times and even driven past the entrance before,

we failed to notice it. We’re so thankful Ken pointed it out to us and wish we had visited sooner. The Rock Creek Recreation Facility was originally constructed by the Civilian Conservation Corps all the way back in the 1930’s. Expanded in later years, the park includes a picnic area, playground, campground, hiking and biking trails, an amphitheater, and a natural stream-fed pool. Towards the front of the park lies the picnic area, along with the playground. It features plenty of tables and grills, enough for an entire family get-together or just a quick lunch before setting off on a hike. Over thirty camping sites are available, many with full electric hookups for RV’s and tents alike. These are located under a tall tree canopy alongside gently-flowing Rock Creek. Great prices on sites ($15 max per night) make it easy for visitors to stay a full week or more. The pool area seems to be a favorite with most visitors. More aptly described as a pond, the large body of water is continually filled with fresh water from a small stream which cascades over a small waterfall. The average depth is about six feet, but on our trip, the water levels had been lowered down to three. A grassy slope on one side and a sandy beach on the other offer tempting areas to sunbathe or picnic in between dips. Rock Creek flows down from the heights of Unaka Mountain, one of the area’s highest peaks at 4,957 feet. Much of the mountainside above this area is protected within the Unaka Mountain Wilderness Area, and several trails depart from the campground to climb the slopes and stream valleys. The real jewel of the recreation area is a footpath called Rock Creek Falls Trail. It parallels the stream as it climbs 1.75 miles into the wilderness area before terminating at its namesake falls. Crashing over fifty feet down two separate ledges, the waterfall is a sight best appreciated in person instead of through photographs, as they don’t do it justice. If you’re in the mood for a more relaxing walk, there are two nature trails which wander through the surrounding woods. The Hemlock Forest Trail is 0.37 mile, while the Trail of the Hardwoods is even shorter at 0.20 mile. Rock Creek Bicycle trail follows the stream for 0.8 of a mile along a smooth bed of gravel. Whether you bike or walk it, you’ll want to take your time and enjoy the many scenic cascades along the creek and higher up in the forest. A longer hike is available if you turn right at the trail’s end onto Rattlesnake Ridge Trail. This also ascends into the Unaka Mountain Wilderness and ends in the spruce forests along the Unaka Mountain Wildlife Viewing Loop, a scenic drive we covered in a past issue. The Unaka Mountains, as well as the rest of the Appalachians, are a national treasure. We are so extremely fortunate to call this place our home. As you drive to work each day or run out to do errands, keep your eyes open for the little things that would otherwise pass unnoticed. Take a detour down that road you’ve never driven, or stop by that stream that flows behind your job. Climb the fire tower, watch the sunrise, and check out that restaurant that has always sat on the corner. Sometimes the most beautiful things can be hiding in plain sight.

The Casual Word

By Langley Shazor Follow Langley at TheCasualWord

What is it What am I so desperately searching Smiles Thumbs ups Hearts Numbers Every spare moment spent Glued to bright screens Counting and analyzing Is it approval Do I need strangers and acquaintances Friends and family To leave evidence Vividly adorned proof That I may feel better about myself I justify this constant updating Colloquially However Is it a means to an end Some vehicle to ascension A vector for success Is this not success currently Perhaps I am simply as obsessed And as vain An air of narcissism Combusted By a flame of loneliness Striving to be on par All these virtual competitors Vying for a piece Of this digital pie Am I truly a revolutionary Or a pseudo unplugging opportunist harboring the same programmed Involuntary Identity crisis

theloaferonline.com | August 1, 2017

Shards of Glass

theloaferonline.com | August 1, 2017

Answers on page 30

Gracie and one of her babies! She has 3 left and is such a good mommy. They are all up for adoption and will be spayed or neutered and up to date on all vaccines. Very sweet cats!!

Charlie and Tobie. They will be spayed and neutered soon and up to date on all vaccines. So playful and ready for a home! Also many adult males and female cats ready for adoption.

he Bridge Home has an ongoing aluminum can can collection in front of the shelter at 2061 Hwy 75 in Blountville,TN 37617. The cans are collected by a volunteer and the money from the aluminum goes towards badly needed food and supplies for the animals The Bridge Home No Kill Animal Rescue has started a pet food pantry for people that have had financial hardships because of job loss or medical problems and are struggling to feed their pet. They can come by the shelter and get cat or dog food to get through the tough time. Donations can be sent to The Bridge

Home Shelter PO Box 654 Blountville, TN 37617 Every animal in their care is spayed or neutered and fully vaccinated before being adopted. Being a non profit the shelter is funded entirely by membership dues and private donations. They always need volunteers or monetary donations. Other always needed items:pet food, cat litter & cat toys dog treats & dog toys,paper towels, cleaners, office supplies,Purina weight circles. Phone: 423-239-5237 Hours are Mon-Fri 12pm-6pm Sat 12pm3pm and Sun 2pm-4pm. Website is www. bridgehomerescue@gmail.com or like them on Facebook: www.Facebook.com/ bridgehome

theloaferonline.com | August 1, 2017

PETS

OF THE WEEK

theloaferonline.com | August 1, 2017

THINGS TO DO Blood Drive Marsh Regional Blood Center will conduct public blood drives at the area locations. Visit http:// tinyurl.com/n4aujx9 to find a location near you. In addition to scheduled blood drives, donors are welcome at Marsh Regional’s collection centers: 111 W. Stone Drive, Suite 300, Kingsport, 2428 Knob Creek Road, Johnson City and 1996 W. State St., Bristol. For more information about scheduling a blood drive at a local business, church, school or community organization, please call 423-408-7500, 423-652-0014 or 276-679-4669 or visit www. marshblood.com.

ers Park. Everyone is welcome to attend and participate. Come drum, hoop/holler, dance, or just relax and take in the scene, no experience or “talent” necessary. There are shared instruments and of course you can bring your own drums or percussion. It's all improvised, so there are no mistakes. We just smile and keep playing. Bring your own seating! ••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Stress Clinic Community Acupuncture Enjoy a de-stressing and pain relieving thirty minute seated acupuncture session in the Art Gallery of The Renaissance Center in Kingsport. Hosted by Acupuncture Associates, come and get your painless acupuncture •••••••••••••••••••••••••• and get your nervous system strengthened! $40 (plus get a $20 The Casual Word bonus voucher to apply toward Adult Creative Writing Class Join us for a free, fun, engaging, your next visit). Join us EVERY and different look into writing. THIRD THURSDAY 12-3pm. For incall 423-239-7044. In this class, we will not focus fomations, •••••••••••••••••••••••••• on structure, form, or rules, but on the freedom of writing. It is Off The Couch Tri-Cities Ladies the goal of this class to open the Only Social Activities Group mind to its full creative potential For bi, lesbian or straight ladies. by allowing participants to write The goal of this group is to get you what they want, how they want to off the couch and out of the house write it. Sessions will be student so you can have fun going to varilead; we will engage in topics and ous activities, meet new people subjects that are of interest to and make friends. Activities inthe students. The atmos- phere is clude live music, open mic night, casual and jovial. This class is de- drum circle, storytelling, social/ signed for all those 18 and up who coffee hour, comedy, bingo, bilwish to try their hand at creative liards, sporting events, theatre writing. and karaoke. Locations for activiThursdays @ 6:00 p.m. Jones ties can take place in different arCreativity Center. Bristol Public eas throughout the tri cities. Library. Johnson City- The Willow Tree Coffeehouse, The Down Home, •••••••••••••••••••••••••• Founders Park, JC Community JC Community Drum Circle Theatre, Acoustic Coffeehouse, The Johnson City Community Yee-Haw Brewing Company, 50fifDrum Circle meets every Wednes- ty Sports Tavern day evening (April – October), Bristol- Border Bash, Quaker 7pm - 8:30pm, inside the Farmers’ Steak and Lube, Studio Brew, Market Pavilion next to Found- Bristol Station Brews & Taproom

Kingsport- , Rush Street Neighborhood Grill, Gypsy Circus Cider Company, Sleepy Owl Brewery Possible singers/groups: Wise Old River, Yarn, Amythyst Kiah, Annabelle's Curse, If Birds Could Fly, Beth Snapp, The Black Lillies, The SteelDrivers, Megan Jean and the Klay Family Band, Bill and the Belles, Sang Sarah, Indighost, The Steel Wheels, The Dustbowl Revival, The Get Right Band, The Ragbirds, Underhill Rose, Dangermuffin, Folk Soul Revival, The Jake Quillen Band, The Whiskey Gentry, and The Way Down Wanderers. To join visit: http://tinyurl.com/ y8utzb4r. Any problems with signing up on Meetup send an email to offthecouchladiessocialgroup@gmail.com. •••••••••••••••••••••••••• Gray Library Adult Book Group Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie by Alan Bradley will be discussed at this month's Adult Book Group at Gray Library. The group meets at 2 p.m., the fourth Thursday of each month. New members are always welcome! For more information call the library The Bristol TN Police Department will be hosting a commuat 477-1550. nity event as part of the National •••••••••••••••••••••••••• Night Out annual campaign. The Bristol Tennessee Police to host event will be held on August 1 from 5:00pm to 7:00pm at The National Night Out event

Boys and Girls Club, 2000 West State Street in Bristol, TN. For more information on the event contact Lt. Walter Brown at 423989-5600 or email wbrown@bristoltn.org.

Cryptogram: I realize that patriotism is not enough. I must have no hatred or bitterness towards anyone. DropQuote: "The general root of superstition is that men observe when things hit, and not when they miss; and commit to memory the one, and pass over the other."

Have You Given Any

Kelly’s Place

By Jim Kelly since 1989 jkelly@ theloaferonline.com

With the arrival of a new month, it’s time to plan our paleofutures. In order to do this, I urge you to follow the advice of Chuck Klosterman, whose recent book (of which I have written about in previous columns) asks us to “think about the present as it if were the past.” Once you wrap your head around this, you are ready to consider various paleofutures.

discovered the paleofuture a couple of weeks ago when I stumbled upon (without using the popular app) a blog by Matt Novak titled “Paleofuture.” I immediately became fascinated with what I found there and took a rather nostalgic journey back to my childhood when I first learned about the future from pages in Popular Mechanics that were devoted to the kinds of gadgets we would find commonplace in the years ahead (i.e. flying cars, personal jetpacks, and watches with video screens). Needless to say, some of these predictions have already come true, while others have yet to be realized. The title of Novak’s blog refers to a type of thinking in which we assume the role of a paleontologist unearthing artifacts from the past that predict the future--the type of thinking that is somewhat related to Klosterman’s alternative way of thinking. The blog is filled with archival material from the past that gives us glimpses into the future. For instance, I took my father’s birth year--1906--and found an interesting article from “The Morning Tub” that addressed the pitfalls of giving people too much leisure time in the future. According to Novak’s commentary on the article, “It was believed that a push-button future of automation would bring about a world of unprecedented convenience and leisure. The question was how to pass the time . . . .Many imagined a leisure-centric society driven by wholesome degeneracy, jet-setting golfers and sixteen hour work weeks. The mundane nature of such a simple push-button future would even drive people to suicide.” While it is true that the early 20th century did see the rise of leisure time for the middle class, accompanied by several technological developments geared toward providing more leisure time (and less money in the bank), the “Morning Tub” columnists couldn’t foresee how the rise of leisure time eventually was defined by radio, television, movie, and social media. An interesting prediction in the “New Zealand Star” gave a very interesting prediction that sounds pretty modern: The man of the future (women was generally not part of the equation in those days) will eat his breakfast “to the accompaniment of the morning’s news, read out for the benefit of the family, or whispered into his ears by a talking machine.” Sounds like Siri and an Amazon Echo doesn’t it? Not wanting leave Mom out of my research, I found an article from 1929 (when Mom was nine years old) that sounds very contemporary. From a San Antonio newspaper, we read about personal robot servants that will show up in the not-too-distant future. According to the article, we should anticipate enjoying our travel more with our own robot chauffeur, along with robot servants. Perhaps we have realized that dream with the advent of Uber and various Internet of Things thingies that go into the making of our Smart Homes. Needless to say, I wish both of my parents were still around to comment on how their conceptions of the future have changed throughout their lives. As I await the birth of my first granddaughter, I am curious about what the paleofuture was like in 1989, when my daughter was born. Here’s what I found. Life magazine predicted that by the year 2000 we would no longer live in world where the following things would still be in existence: pennies, water from faucets (bottled water will replace these old-fashioned plumbing devices), canned food (farmer’s markets will supply our needs), video stores, disposable diapers (environmental

concerns will make these obsolete), mailmen, dentists, signatures, plugs and switches (replaced by voice-activated stuff), TV networks, communism, Venice, keys, and all-male clergy. As we now know, all the items on this list, with the possible exception of video stores (although there’s still one in Hampton, TN), are still very much with us--especially dentists, disposable diapers, and canned food. And the last time I checked--not in person, of course--Venice was still on the map. Let’s close with a few observations from Chuck Klosterman’s book. First and foremost is his assertion that “It’s impossible to understand the world of today until today has become tomorrow.” Along with the idea is the fact that once today has become yesterday, we become nostalgic and create all sorts of misconceptions about what yesterday was like. Another very important point made by Klosterman is that we “constantly pretend our perception of the present day will not seem ludicrous in retrospect, simply because there doesn’t appear to be any other option. Yet there is another option, and the option is this: We must start from the premise that--in all likelihood--we are already wrong.” The problem is not with our beliefs, Kosterman says, but “with the questions themselves.” When someone predicted in 1989 that we would have no need for dentists by the year 2000, they were wrong only in retrospect, and Klosterman asks us to see ourselves from a different perspective in which we imagine ourselves as already living in the past. And maybe that perspective will help us make better decisions. So, this week think about the past and the present in different ways and see what happens. At least this kind of thinking might give you some interesting perspectives on today’s headlines and will make you a better paleofuturist. See you next week with a column that will be in my past as you read it for the first time in your present. Try not to think about that for very long.

theloaferonline.com | August 1, 2017

Thought To Your Paleofuture?

theloaferonline.com | August 1, 2017