The Loafer February 23rd

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Winter Ice Solstice Musical

Volume 30 • Issue #12 Publisher Luci Tate Editor Graphic Arts Director Don Sprinkle Cover Design Bill May Advertising Dave Carter Terry Patterson Lori Howell Beth Jinks-Ashbrook Patti Barr Contributing Staff Jim Kelly Andy Ross Ken Silvers Mark Marquette Brian McManus Joshua Hicks Brian Bishop Distribution Jerry Hanger Teresa Hanger Published by Pulse Publishing, LLC., P.O. Box 3238, Johnson City, TN 37602 Phone: 423/283-4324 FAX - 423/283-4369 www.theloaferonline.com info@theloaferonline.com e-mail: editorial@theloaferonline.com (editorial) adcopy@theloaferonline.com (advertising) All advertisements are accepted and published by the publisher upon the representation that the agency and/or advertiser is authorized to publish the entire contents and subject matter thereof. The agency and/or advertiser will indemnify and save the publisher harmless from any loss of expense resulting from claims or suits based upon contents of any advertisement, including claims or suits for defamation, libel, right of privacy, plagiarism, and copyright infringement.

Founder: Bill Williams

happenings 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 13 21 22

“Human Odyssey”: It’s Kind Of A Big Deal “Othello” at Barter Stage II Of Time And Space ‘The Odd Couple’ at Tusculum College AAME Speaker Series GTC presents “WIT” Showing Rural Transport at Carter Railroad Museum An Evening With The Barefoot Movement The Moscow Festival Ballet presents ‘Sleeping Beauty’ Appalachian Fair To Award Scholarships Things To Do

music & fun 14

Spotlight - Great Music & Fun Times

24

Puzzle Page

columns & reviews

12 Batteries Not Included - The Waffle House Letters 16 Stargazer - Planet 9 And Gravity Waves 17 Skies This Week 18 Screen Scenes - And The Oscar Goes To.... 19 Trivial Traveler - Home Sweet Homer 20 Mountain Movers - The Rob Cole Interview 23 Pets Of The Week 25 Lock, Stock & Barrel - SCCY-CPX1 26 Kelly’s Place - Now You See It, Now You Dont


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“Human Odyssey”: It’s Kind of a Big Deal

Bodypainting is thought to be the world’s oldest form of art and personal expression. Not much has changed with the intention of body art since the days of the caveman. Bodypainting is historically used to celebrate life passages, believed to be protection from the gods in times of war, and even thought to have magical powers to transform one’s self into a new personal era. If you think about it, there’s really not much of a difference between tribal or cultural body painting and the modern, artistic form that is becoming more and more popular today. That’s what you’ll be able to discover at “Human Odyssey”: A Living Art Sanctioned Bodypainting Event, Friday March 4th at The Willow Tree Coffeehouse and Music Room located at 216 East Main Street in downtown Johnson City. Living Art America (LAA) is the bodypainting authority for North America, and is the host for the North American Bodypainting Championship, which is the nation’s only competition that is recognized by the World Bodypainting Association. That being said, “Human Odyssey” is kind of a big deal. This is an especially interactive art exhibit, because not only can you talk to the artists, but you can talk to the works of art themselves. You can learn from models the transformations they feel when they are painted into their respective artworks and ask the artists for their inspiration to use the human body as canvas. While you’re there be sure to check out the five-time World Body Painting Champions, Madelyn Greco and Scott Fray.

Not only are they showing off their skills as bodypainters, Fray and Greco are teaching a day long class on the art of bodypainting Saturday, March 5, which will be held at the shared studio space of Faces by Ren and Keith Dixon Studios, 308 South Roan Street in downtown Johnson City. Greco and Fray are newlyweds, and quite possibly the most interesting couple in the world. Fray’s a world traveler, who played music for the Dalai Lama at his personal residence; while Greco is a Burlesque Queen that goes by the calling “FoxyMoxy.” Luckily for us, they are friends with the local mastermind that made this event hap-

pen, Ren Allen. Allen is a rock star artist in her own right. She has competed in the Living Art American North American Bodypainting Championships in the emerging artist category, ranking as highly as in second place, and she was awarded fifth place in the open category. Allen assisted Cheryl Ann Lipstreu, a Skinwars second season contestant, at the World Bodypainting Festival in Austria this past summer, and placed fourth in the UV category. She is also the founder of the local Body Art Guild (BAG). BAG was founded in 2009 after Allen’s first body art show held at Nelson’s Fine Art Gallery in down-

town Johnson City. It was her goal to create a space for local artists to get together to grow, learn, and mostly have fun with body art. With the help of Living Art America, Allen and the Body Art Guild have been able to create Living Art Tennessee, which is a regional arm of LAA. “My goal with the guild [BAG] and with LAA, is to assist and grow bodypainting artists in a sustainable manner. To offer them support through the guild, access to events and projects that potentially make them an income, and to showcase fine art bodypainting in our region,” Allen said. “Human Odyssey” will be

livingartamerica.com/lat/

an extraordinary chance to participate in such an interactive exhibit filled with live music, conversation, living art, and food. Due to the nature of bodypainting shows, “Human Odyssey” is being labeled as “adult content”, however all ages are welcome with parents or guardians. Visit https:// tikly.co/events/1064 to purchase tickets. Check out “Human Odyssey” on Facebook for more information. Meet and check out the works of the different local, regional, and world renowned artists participating on the Facebook page! Allen hopes that as the event grows, more sponsors will donate to support local artists. “In the future, I would like to have specific scholarships for any classes that take place in conjunction with the shows, and we could have different artists apply to get a scholarship for the classes.” “Human Odyssey” loves their sponsors: and would like to thank : Bag: the Body Art Guild, Living Art America (The North American Bodypainting Championship), The Willow Tree Coffeehouse and Music Room, Faces by Ren, Keith Dixon Studios, Main Street Pizza Company, Serenity + Scott Beauty, Bad Ass Stencils, and Main Street Cafe and Catering. A special thank you to Cameleon Professional Bodypaint for donating the paint for this event and award bags for audience choice winners. If you are interesting in sponsoring this even or any future Living Art Tennessee events email Ren Allen at facesbyren@gmail.com. All sponsors will be listed on all advertising, social media, and print.


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“OTHELLO” TO APPEAR AT BARTER STAGE II

Barter Theatre Performance of “Othello” Funded By Shakespeare in American Communities and the National Endowment for the Arts The Barter Players ENCORE Company, will be performing William Shakespeare’s “Othello” thanks to a grant from Shakespeare in American Communities and the National Endowment for the Arts. “Othello” will appear at Barter’s Stage II beginning March 1. The Barter Player’s ENCORE Company is Barter Theatre’s newest performance group, which is made up of Barter Players alumni. In the spring of 2015, the ENCORE Players performed “Hamlet” thanks to the same grant, which is allowing them to perform “Othello.” Katy Brown, artistic director of the ENCORE Players and director of “Othello,” said, “We had such an incredible response to ‘Hamlet’ last year and it’s made us doubly excited to share ‘Othello’ with everyone. We had more than one audience member tell us it was the most connected they had ever felt to Shakespeare— as though it were about them.” Brown said, “Othello is such a surprising play- it’s never what you expect it to be. Just when you think you have it pinned down, it slips away again. It’s somehow as much about love as it is about betrayal or jealousy.” With this

in mind, The Barter Player ENCORE Company has created an experience to make this play easier to understand and appreciate. This production brings the play from the page to the stage and offers workshops for student performances using role-playing activities. These workshops will be held before and after student performances. Evening performances will not feature workshops, and are not adapted specifically for students, allowing adults to enjoy this classic Shakespeare play as well. “Othello” features Terrance Jackson as Othello. Other performers include: Kelly Strand, Natalie Riegel, Julie Schroll, Sean Michael Flattery and Sam McCalla. This production is directed by Katy Brown. The National Endowment for the Arts in partnership with Arts Midwest presents Shakespeare in American Communities. Barter Theatre is one of 40 professional theater companies selected to participate in bringing the finest productions of Shakespeare to middle and high school students in communities across the United States. This is the 13th year of this national program, the largest tour of Shakespeare in American history.

Barter would like to issue a special thank you to Shakespeare in American Communities. Because of their generous support, the Barter will be able to offer assistance for schools/ students that can demonstrate need. This includes bus and ticket subsidies.


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Of Time & Space

Artist explores the outdoors, brings it into gallery, to ETSU Dust, dirt, sand and water fascinate Joyce Ogden – not wiping them away but experimenting with them, observing them – investigating, she calls it. Ogden moved from the city of Louisville to a farm in Southern Indiana so she could experiment daily, walking the woods, raising chickens and digging the soil, not simply for personal enjoyment, but also for professional purposes. “It’s wonderful,” Ogden says. “I feel like it’s a big collaboration, and that really excites me. It’s a collaboration with nature.” Her profession is sculpture, but her media, in addition to dust, dirt, sand and water, are as varied as the elements of nature – red clay, seeds, nut husks and seed pods, chicken eggs. She often sculpts the natural elements into shapes, imposes water, outdoor elements and/ or time upon them and then observes the transformation. One writer calls her art “ephemeral time-based art.” Because of these unique environmental and sustainability related explorations that she brings into the gallery or just outside gallery doors, M. Wayne Dyer, a professor in the Department of Art and Design, said Ogden was an outstanding choice to act as juror for fall semester’s 2015 FL3TCH3R Exhibit: Social & Politically Engaged Art. Ogden was not able to give the traditional exhibition artist talk in fall, so ETSU’s Mary B. Martin School of the Arts and the Department of Art & Design are sponsoring her artist talk on Wednesday, March 2, at 7 p.m. in ETSU’s Ball Hall Auditorium. A reception will follow in Slocumb Galleries. Talk and reception are free and open to the public. As the 2015 FL3TCH3R juror, Ogden selected 65 works by 57

artists from 31 states and six different countries for inclusion in the exhibit, out of 283 pieces submitted by about 100 artists. The annual FL3TCH3R Exhibit is in memory of former ETSU student and senior in Art & Design Fletcher H. Dyer, who died in a motorcycle accident in 2009 at the age of 22. The exhibit raises funds to support and endow a scholarship for ETSU Art & Design students. “With her dynamic work, doing socially engaged pieces in terms of the environment that have an organic perspective, we wanted her to come during the show,” Dyer says. “Our ideal would be that when someone jurors, they would be able to be there during the exhibit, but that’s not always possible. We are excited she can visit this spring. “The artist talk is really an opportunity for the students, faculty and public to get to know her and actually get to know about how she approaches her work and how she views what she’s doing.” While at ETSU, Ogden – who is a faculty member at the Kentucky College of Art and Design at Spalding University – will also give a demonstration/presentation of a current

technique she uses in her work and spend time in critiques with BFA and MFA students. Ogden received her MFA from the Henry Radford Hope School of Fine Arts at Indiana University, Bloomington, and has exhibited throughout the Southeast. She is a founding member of ENID, a Louisville-based women sculptors organization, and has been the recipient of grants and awards, including the Joan Mitchell Foundation Painters and Sculptors Grant Program, the Kentucky Foundation for Women Sallie Bingham Award and the Al Smith Fellowship from the Kentucky Arts Council. While Ogden’s original focus in college was on fibers and ceramics, her experiments began to evolve, to include water and utilize “form and space and the relationship with materials to form and space,” she says from her Indiana studio. “I was just looking at materials that I was working with and thinking about how they responded and how they reacted to a physical force. What would they do if you hung them or how did they respond to gravity?” Whether it was dripping

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‘The Odd Couple’

opening at Tusculum College Laughter is in the forecast at Tusculum College as “The Odd Couple” opens on Friday, Feb. 26. Theatre-at-Tusculum is presenting Neil Simon’s award-winning play for two weekends beginning Feb. 26. The production, directed by Marilyn duBrisk, will be in the David Behan Arena Theatre (side entrance) in the Annie Hogan Byrd Fine Arts Building on the Tusculum campus. Performances are 7 p.m. Feb. 26-27 and March 3-5, as well as 2 p.m. Sunday matinees on Feb. 28 and March 6. The comedy follows the lives of two distinctly different best friends, Oscar Madison and Felix Unger. The tightly wound, hypochondriac Felix, played by Brian Ricker, is forced to move in with the slovenly and brash Oscar, played by Chris Greene. Hilarity ensues as they try to make peace with their opposing personalities. They are supported by their poker buddies: Murray, played by Will Maddux, Vinnie, played by Parker Bunch; Speed, played by Chris Sutton, and Roy, played by Josh Beddingfield. Greene and Ricker were last seen on stage in Theatre-at-Tusculum’s production last fall of “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang,” with Greene as the loving father and lead character, Caractacus Potts and Ricker as the dimwitted Vulgarian spy, Goran. Maddux may be familiar to audiences as Juror #3 in Theatre-at-Tusculum’s 2014 production of “Twelve Angry Men” or as the King of Siam in the 2010 production of “The King and I.” The youngest member of the cast, Bunch has been growing up on stage in productions portraying characters ranging from Wednesday Addams’ love interest Lucas Beineke in 2014’s “The Addams Family Musical” to Bob Cratchit in 2013’s “A Christmas Carol.” Audiences will recognize Beddingfield as the kindhearted Mr. Coggins in “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang” and as the bride’s father, Mr. Banks in the Greeneville Theatre Guild’s inaugural production of “Father of the Bride.” Sutton who will be making his Theatre-at-Tusculum debut with this production, joins the cast all the way from Bluff City, Tennessee.

Joining the men on stage will be Oscar and Felix’s upstairs neighbors, the Pigeon sisters. The British sisters are invited to a double date and hilarity ensues. Portraying the sisters are Kendra Tarlton as Gwendolyn Pigeon and Whitney Marshall as Cecily Pigeon. Both actresses made their Theatre-at-Tusculum debut last fall in “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang” playing multiple characters. Along with duBrisk, the production team includes Ricker as assistant director, Suzanne Greene as stage manager, Barbara Holt as costume director, Frank Mengel as technical director and Jennifer Howell as box office manager. “The Odd Couple” premiered on Broadway in 1965 with Walter Matthau and Art Carney starring in the lead roles. Awarded several Tony Awards, the play was adapted for the big screen in 1968 starring Matthau and Jack Lemmon and became a popular 1970s television show featuring Jack Klugman and Tony Randall. A remake of the series premiered on CBS in February 2015 starring Matthew Perry and Thomas Lennon. The comedy helped Simon become one of the best known American playwrights of the 20th Century. It has become culturally iconic and an American theatre staple. The spring Theatre-at-Tusculum production is part of Tusculum College’s annual Acts, Arts, Academia Performance and Lecture series. Admission is $15 for adults, $12 for seniors citizens (60 and over) and $5 for children (12 and under). For more information or to reserve tickets please call Tusculum College Arts Outreach at 423798-1620 or email jhollowell@tusculum. edu.

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AAME Speakers Series

The Arts Alliance Mountain Empire, in cooperation with the Bristol Public Library, is pleased to announce the continuation of the 2015-16 AAME Speakers Series. The AAME Speakers Series features local and regional personalities sharing their expertise on topics that enrich and encourage the arts and general communities of our region. This series also provides a forum for member organizations of AAME to tell of their contributions to the Mountain Empire region. This event, taking place on Tuesday, March 1 at 7:00 p.m., will feature three regional composers whose work has gained an audience both within and beyond the Mountain Empire. Each composer will answer a series of prepared questions, and then the discussion will be opened up to the audience for general enquiries. Scott Gendel is a professional composer, vocal coach, and pianist living in Emory, Virginia. Recently, he performed his piece “At Last” with soprano Camille Zamora and cellist Yo-Yo Ma, as

part of “An AIDS Quilt Songbook: Sing For Hope,” a recording distributed by Naxos Records and benefitting amfAR, The American Foundation for AIDS Research. Scott’s music is published by Classical Vocal Reprints, ECS Publishing, and the Tuba/Euphonium Press. His art songs have been recorded on Albany Records and Naxos, and performed around the world. He received his Doctor of Musical Arts degree from The University of Wisconsin in 2005, where he also designed and taught an undergraduate composition curriculum. Upcoming commissioned works include “Seven Princesses and Bear,” a ballet for children to be premiered at the San Angelo Civic Ballet in Texas this March, “Advice to Those Like Me, With Hearts Like Kindling” for the Carnegie Hall debut of soprano Melody Moore this May; and “Across The Water” for children’s choir, women’s choir, flute, guitar, and piano, to be premiered by the Madison Youth Choirs at the Aberdeen International Youth Festival in Aberdeen, Scotland

Maria A. Niederberger’s compositions feature a unique style that draws on the musical and cultural influences of her international life. Her works evoke a sense of fluidity, a shifting and flux between temporary solidity and its dissolution. Niederberger’s compositional output encompasses a range of instrumental, vocal, and orchestral works. They are performed in the USA, Canada, Europe, and Asia. Her most recent commis-

Scott Gendel this summer. As a pianist and vocal coach, Scott works regularly as Principal Coach at Madison Opera in Wisconsin, as well as at The Barter Theatre, Opera North, and in collaboration with singers and instrumentalists in recital. Please visit http://www.scottgendel. com for more information. Tennessee based Swiss composer

Maria A. Niederberger

sion is for a Contemporary Music Ensemble, a work to be performed at the Festival Música Hoje in Curtiba, in Brazil in August 2017. She has won the international Miriam Gideon Prize for Musical Composition and the Olga Brose Valente Prize for Excellence in Musical Composition. Her work has been recognized and supported by institutions like the American Music Center, Pro Helvetia (the Swiss National Endowment for the Arts), the International Alliance for Women in Music, the Schindler Foundation, the University of California, and East Tennessee State University. Throughout her career, she has been commissioned to write for numerous international musicians and contemporary music ensembles. Niederberger earned her Ph.D. in Theory and Composition from Brandeis University, where she studied composition with Martin Boykan, Arthur Berger, and Allen Anderson. Further composition teachers included Pulitzer Prize winner Donald Martino at Harvard University.

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GTC to present

comedy/drama “Wit”

The highly acclaimed Pulitzer Prize winning play “Wit” will be presented by Glasgow Theatre Company Feb. 26 – March 5. Performances are Feb. 26 and 27 and March 4 and 5 at 8 p.m. and Feb. 28 and March 5 at 2 p.m. and will be held at Johnson City Community Theatre. Written by Margaret Edson, “Wit” tells the story of Dr. Vivian Bearing, a renowned professor of English and a scholar of 17th century poetry who has been diagnosed with terminal ovarian cancer. During the course of her illness and her time as a patient in an experimental chemotherapy program at a major teaching hospital, Vivian comes to reassess her life and her work through the dramatic application of humor, irony and wit that are transformative both for her

and the audience. “Wit” appeared on Broadway in 2012 starring Cynthia Nixon, who captured a Tony nomination for the lead role. The production stars local actress Debbie Shoun as Vivian. Shoun has appeared in a number of Glasgow productions, including “Vanya, Sonia, Masha and Spike,” “Spring Awakening” and “Other Desert Cities” and has also been seen in seen several productions with Johnson City Community Theatre, Kingsport Theatre Guild and Jonesborough Repertory Theatre. Joining her on stage will be Laura Berry, Renee Everhart, Dustin Lawson, Richard Nave, Will Oliver, Elizabeth Paxton, Martin Robinette and Drew Wilder. Heather B. Eisenhart directs the production. A talkback with the cast and

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AAME ..... continued from previous page

Currently, she serves as the Chair of the Department of Music at East Tennessee State University, where she teaches Theory and Composition. A Tanzania-born Tennessean, Evelyn Pursley-Kopitzke is a neo-classical composer and lyricist whose extensive opus includes chamber, choral, art, and orchestral works. Her music has been heard from coast to coast and in Europe. She holds a graduate degree in composition and studied with Drs. Margarita Merriman, Barney Childs, and Kenneth Jacobs. She is co-founder of the Greater Tri-Cities Composers’ Consortium. She received top honors in the Carton Savage international “I Wage Peace” project. Selected recent works include the Twenty-21 London premiere of her “African Vignettes,” the MIT Science Festival special guests will be held folpremiere of the North Cambridge lowing the Feb. 28 and March Family Opera commission “Water 5 matinees. JCCT is located on from the Lovely Lakes,” “Adagio, the corner of Maple and Afton Beyond the Silence,” Soprano and streets. Tickets are $15 and may Orchestra; “Expectations,” Percusbe reserved by calling Glasgow sion Solo on 11 instruments; The Theatre Company at 423-797- Constellations, a Symphony; and four movements of Second Sight, 8482.

Evelyn Pursley-Kopitzke

a 2014 commission by The Paramount Chamber Players, and SunJoo Oh’s 2015 premiere of a song cycle There’s Music. This program in the AAME Speakers Series takes place at the Bristol Public Library, located at 701 Goode Street, Bristol, Virginia.


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Carter Railroad Museum February Heritage Day shows rural transport

On Saturday, Feb. 27, East Tennessee State University’s George L. Carter Railroad Museum will have a tribute to the short lines and rural transport efforts of yesterday at its monthly Heritage Day with the theme, “Little Lines: Industrial, Logging and Short Line Railroads.” While many Heritage Days have focused on large railroads, the smaller operations tie the system to the nation’s farthest reaches. A “mixed train,” or smaller scheduled train with combined freight and passenger service, ran once a day or weekly. With the advent of better roadways and personal automobile ownership, such train service gradually ended. “These lines were considered romantic by some enthusiasts, who appreciated the quieter, simpler process as opposed to high-speed operation,” says Geoff Stunkard, coordinator of the Heritage Days program. “Many people felt a sense of local pride about short line railroads, as they were considered ‘our train’ especially here in East Tennessee where the Tweetsie narrow gauge railroad once ran into the mountains. We use this event to demonstrate how short line operations functioned.” In addition to mixed operations on the museum’s HO scale layout, there also will be demonstrations of unique logging steam engines that would

sometimes be called on when tracks had severe curvature or gradients. A vintage postcard display of original logging lines will be on display. The museum’s ongoing work to replicate the local ET&WNC, or Tweetsie, line will be available for tour-guided viewing. Members of the George L. Carter Chapter of the National Railway Historical Society and the Mountain Empire Model Railroaders (MEMRR) club will coordinate the exhibits. Visit www.memrr.org to learn more about MEMRR, which helps demonstrate and maintain the model layouts, museum exhibits and other projects. The Carter Railroad Museum is open every Saturday from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Admission is free, but donations are welcomed. The museum can be identified by a flashing railroad crossing signal at the back entrance to the Campus Center Building. Visitors should enter ETSU’s campus from State of Franklin Road onto Jack Vest Drive and continue east to 176 Ross Drive, adjacent to the flashing RR crossing sign. To learn more about the museum, visit http://johnsonsdepot.com/glcarter/cartermuseum. For more information about Heritage Day, contact Alsop at 423-439-6838 or alsopf@etsu. edu. For disability accommodations, call the ETSU Office of Disability Services at 423-4398346


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An evening with

the barefoot movement

The City of Kingsport Office of Cultural Arts in partnership with Engage Kingsport proudly presents an evening with The Barefoot Movement at the Renaissance Arts Center Theater in Kingsport, TN on Friday February 26, 2016 at 7:30 pm, as part of the Engage Kingsport Performing Arts Series. Special guest Rebecca Lee Daniels will open the show. This show was originally scheduled for November 13, 2015, but had to be canceled at the last minute due to an illness with one of the members of The Barefoot Movement. Tickets for the 11/13/2015 show will be honored for the exact same seats for the rescheduled performance. New tickets are now on sale for any remaining seats. To book tickets, or for any other questions, please contact the City of Kingsport Office of Cultural Arts at (423) 392-8414 or go online at www. EngageKingsport.com. The Barefoot Movement have been making big waves in the folk world since the release of their 2011 debut album Footwork. They last performed in Kingsport in 2014 and we are very excited to welcome them back. Heralded by CMT Edge as “one of the most promising bands on the bluegrass scene” the music of the Nashville based group The Barefoot Movement is as down to earth as their intention for members of their audience: sit back, relax, take your shoes off, and stay a while. All the worries and frustrations of the world melt away as the charming four-piece acoustic band takes listeners back to a simpler place and time. Whether you’re seeking emotional ballads or rip-roaring barn-burners, you can expect a collection

of music that offers something for everyone. With two full length albums, several crosscountry tours, and appearances at some of the top bluegrass festivals in the United States already under their belt, the possibilities are endless. The group has enjoyed almost non-stop touring including a trip to Burkina Faso, Africa where they were guests of the American Embassy. Debuting in September, 2014, their third release, “The High Road EP” showcases traditional material that has consistently been among the crowd favorites at their live performances. Crowding around a single microphone, their show is as fun to watch as it is to hear, and often begs the question, how has no one lost an eye from a collision with the fiddle bow? The smiles on the faces of the band are obvious displays of the joy and excitement they feel when performing and the audience shares in the fun. With effortlessly executed transitions, the pacing between the softer and more vigorous

numbers constantly has fans on the edge of their seats. From the foot-tapping instrumental “Sheepherder” to the emotional ballad “Thunder” and everything in between, these roots music newcomers have assembled quite the collection here, both old songs and new, offering something for everyone. Special Guest:

Rebecca Lee Daniels

While seventeen-yearold Rebecca Lee Daniels brings a refreshing innocence to her music, the intensity and passion of her voice reveals a wise and experienced “old soul”. Her influences range from classic crooners and The Beatles, to modern pop and singer songwriters. Whether she is singing about her own life or reinterpreting a Louis Armstrong classic, her unique musical identity emerges as an up and coming singer-songwriter. Tickets: $15 Reserved Seats Book Now: www.EngageKingsport

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The Waffle House Letters: A Ken Burns Film

February 14th, 3:35 PM My Dearest Delilah,

I was hoping today was the day I would return to you. Just as I made it over the ridge, General Reynolds informed us on the radio that a storm was coming. As the snow began to fall I thought I could make it through the big push, but I was overwhelmed quickly. Snow flying around caused a white out all round me, I could barely keep mine eyes on the road, yet alone focus on the trucks that surrounded me. I could faintly make out a light of yellow off to the side of the road, fearing that I wouldn’t make it over the ridge alive, I stopped off at a Waffle House with dozens of other weary people seeking shelter. I warmed myself up by the jukebox, then sat down in a booth and ordered some coffee. I hope that maybe this storm will pass and roads will clear and I will be with you in time for celebrations tonight my love. Your face is the only reason I keep going on these long and lonely roads, and I long to see you again. I must sign off for now, my scattered, smothered, and covered is coming. All my love, Reginald. February 14, 5:57PM My Dearest Delilah, Things have turned for a worse in such a short amount of time at the Waffle House. The storm has not let up, and the coffee is running low. We are stranded for the foreseeable future, and as supplies are starting to become scarce, we’ve all been rationed one half slice of ham a piece. If at any point General Reynolds says a break will come, I may make a run for it. If I do not make it back to you, know that I love you and little Suzie Bell with all my love. Crying for Coffee, Reginald. February 14th, 8:04 PM My Dearest Delilah, A break came, and I slipped out under the cover of a syrup war and made it down the road on a slow crawl of speed. I hit a patch of ice near the exit I needed to take, it has sent me off course my dear. I don’t think tonight I shall return home to you. I have found temporary shelter in a Taco Bell where I am writing this by candle light and keeping my hands warm over a container of nacho cheese. I may be here for the night, but I know come the light of day I will see you again my darling. The cold is only a temporary thing keeping us apart, for soon ice will melt and I’ll be home again. I bid you all my love my darling. Tonight I take my rest on a bed of chalupas. Love, Reginald.


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The Moscow Festival Ballet Presents

Sleeping Beauty

at Niswonger Performing Arts Center The Moscow Festival Ballet brings to town a cast of over fifty talented dancers for a three act, full-length ballet performance of Sleeping Beauty on Tuesday, March 1, at 7:00 pm. Sleeping Beauty is often considered the finest achievement of the Classical ballet. It is a grandiose and refined blending of the traditional mime, expressive pas d’action and spectacular divertissements in a lavish theatrical setting. Performed by the Moscow Festival Ballet, Sleeping Beauty is a supreme demonstration of steel point work, sharply accented spinning turns, soaring leaps, high extensions, and daring lifts. Princess Aurora, condemned at her christening by an evil fairy to prick her finger and die on her 16th birthday, is saved by the gift of the good Lilac Fairy, who declares the princess will only sleep until awakened by the kiss of a prince. This beautifully depicted fairy tale is replete with a king and queen, fairies both good and evil, a beautiful princess and dream prince, magical stage effects and courtly splendor. Don’t miss Sleeping Beauty at the Niswonger Performing Arts Center (NPAC) in historic downtown Greeneville, TN on Tuesday, March 1 at 7:00 pm. This performance is sponsored by Walters State Community College. Tickets are $35 for orchestra level seating, $30 for mezzanine seating and $25 for balcony seats. Tickets may be purchased online at www. npacgreeneville.com, in person at the NPAC box office, or by calling 423-638-1679. NPAC offers online seat selection with no processing or

delivery fees. There is a $1.50 ticketing fee per ticket regardless of purchase method. The box office hours are Monday through Friday, 10 am until 5 pm. The 1150 seat performing arts center is located adjacent

to the campus of Greeneville High School in Greeneville, TN. For venue information, and to purchase tickets, please visit www.npacgreeneville. com.

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NIGHTSHIFT - TUESDAY - Feb. 23rd SONGWRITERS NIGHT

at Holston River Brewing Company 6pm JAY DAVIS (Country) at Acoustic Coffeehouse

DOWNTOWN COUNTRY at Jiggy Ray’s 6:30pm

- WEDNESDAY - Feb. 24th OPEN JAM at O’Mainnin’s Pub GEOFF TATE at Capone’s CHRIS LONG

(Americana, Roots Rock, Heartland Rock) at Acoustic Coffeehouse OPEN MIC at Woodstone Deli

- THURSDAY - Feb. 25th LIVE MUSIC

(Country, Southern Rock, Oldies) at Lion’s Club 7pm

TIME SAWYER

(Folk, Americana, Singer/Songwriter) at O’Mainnin’s Pub JUBAL (Folk, Country, Alternative Folk) at Yee Haw Brewing Company 7pm

INDIGHOST, MADRE PADRES and BOA at Sleepy Owl Brewery 8pm FIRE AT THE MARQUEE (Punk)

(Singer/Songwriter) at Kgt. Renaissance Arts Center 7:30pm

SEASONS OF ME, ELISIUM, and AXIS FIVE (Rock, Alternative, Out Front) at Capone’s

LEE TRAVIS & THE BOUNTY HUNTERS

at Holston River Brewing Company

LIVE MUSIC

(Folk, Old-Time) at Down Home

HACKSAW BOYS

at Carter Fold

EMPTY BOTTLE STRING BAND CARRINGTON KAY at Bone Fire Smokehouse

JAMES MEADOWS (Country) at Holiday Inn (Exit 7) 9pm

(Hip Hop, Rap, Christian)

THOMAS TAYLOR & THE HIGHRIZE BAND

(Reggae, Rock, SurfRoots) at Acoustic Coffeehouse

BLAKE HORNESBY ANDREW ALVEY

JORDAN COPAS

ELUSIVE GROOVE

- SATURDAY - Feb. 27th SOUTHERN REBELLION

Country, Classic Rock, Southern Rock) at The Family Barn 7:30pm

LEE TRAVIS & THE BOUNTY HUNTERS

at Country Club Bar & Grill at Acoustic Coffeehouse

- SUNDAY - Feb. 28th JAM SESSION at The Family Barn 1pm

LIVE MUSIC

at Bone Fire Smokehouse at Holston River Brewing Company THE RECEIVER NIGHTSHIFT (Country, Southern Rock, (Alternative, Progressive, Electronic) Oldies) GABRIEL JULES (Pop, Rock, R&B) at Washington County Moose 8:30pm at Acoustic Coffeehouse

NATHAN BELL

(Classic Country & Southern Rock) at Country Club Bar & Grill

at The Willow Tree Coffeehouse & Music Room 8pm

SHOOTER

SOUTHERN COUNTRYMEN BAND (Country) at Buffalo Ruritan 7pm at Down Home GRANT MEREDITH & MIKEY GOAT WHISKEY DELUXE PRICE at Jiggy Ray’s 7pm (Americana, Country, Twangy Honky Tonk) JV SQUAD at Capone’s at Jiggy Ray’s 7pm SHOOTER (Country, Classic Rock, OldSOUTHERN SOUND ies) at Elizabethton Moose Lodge at Bone Fire Smokehouse

at The Paramount Center of the Arts

ADAM MCPEAK & MOUNTAIN THUNDER

at The Willow Tree Coffeehouse & Music Room 8pm

(Country, Classic Rock, Southern Rock) at 50 Fifty Sports Tavern

at David Thompson’s Produce 7pm

LIMITED EDITION

(Metal, Southern, Hard Rock) at O’Mainnin’s Pub 8pm

- FRIDAY - Feb. 26th SOUTHERN REBELLION

BULLS EYE BAND

BOMBADLI

REBECCA LEE DANIEL

at Sleepy Owl Brewery 8pm

(Acoustic Rock, Indie, Fok, Americana) at Acoustic Coffeehouse 8pm

Alt. Country, Jam Band) at O’Mainnin’s Pub BLUE REVUE (Classic Rock to Rhythm & Blues) at Woodstone Deli 9pm

(Bluegrass, Americana, Folk)

THE BAREFOOT MOVEMENT

(Country, Classic Rock, Oldies) at Horseshoe Lounge 8pm

STEPHEN EVANS

FARMHOUSE GHOST (Americana,

20th ANNUAL LEON KISER MEMORIAL TRIBUTE

(Variety, ‘60’s, ‘70’s, ‘80’s & ‘90’s) at The Family Barn

RUSTY STEEL

at Sleepy Owl Brewery 9pm

at The Hideaway 9pm

at Bone Fire Smokehouse

NATHAN KALISH & THE LASTCALLERS (Country)

LIFE BAND at JC Moose Lodge 8pm THE FORCE FIELD

JERRY PIERCE & THE NIGHT-

- MONDAY - Feb. 29th HIGH TEST BLUEGRASS & CLINCHFIELD MOUNTAIN BOYS

at Bristol’s Pickin’ Porch

OPEN MIC

at Acoustic Coffeehouse

BLUEGRASS JAM

at Hardee’s (Boones Creek)

KARAOKE TUESDAY

Karaoke At Numan’s - JCTN ***********************

WEDNESDAY

Karaoke w/ Southern Sounds Karaoke at American Legion 8pm Karaoke At Bristol VFW - BTN Turn the Page Karaoke At VFW Post 2108 - JCTN Karaoke w/ Absolute Entertainment at Smokey Bones - Johnson City TN ***********************

THURSDAY

Karaoke At Numan’s - JCTN Karaoke w/ Southern Sounds Karaoke at Macadoo’s 8pm Karaoke At Holiday Inn - JCTN Karaoke w/ Absolute Entertainment At Everette’s Bar & Grille - JCTN Karaoke At Bristol VFW ***********************

FRIDAY

KaraokeAt Bristol VFW - BTN Karaoke w/ Southern Sounds Karaoke at Sportsman’s Bar & Grill 9pm Karaoke w/ Reverb Karaoke at The Cottage 8:30 pm Turn the Page Karaoke at VFW Post 2108 - JCTN Karaoke At Elizabethton VFW Karaoke w/ DJ Marques At Holiday Inn (Exit 7) - BVA Karaoke At Numan’s - JCTN ***********************

SATURDAY

Turn the Page Karaoke at VFW Post 2108 - JCTN Karaoke At Numan’s - JCTN Karaoke at Bristol VFW Karaoke w/ Absolute Entertainment At Macado’s - Kingsport ***********************

SUNDAY

Karaoke w/ Absolute Entertainment At Everette’s Bar & Grille - JCTN ***********************


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Spotlight Directory

50 Fifty Sports Tavern 2102 N. Roan Street Johnson City Acoustic Coffeehouse 415 W Walnut St. Johnson City 423/434.9872 Bone Fire Smokehouse at the Hardware 260 W Main St Abingdon Va 276/623-0037 Bristol’s Pickin’ Porch 620 State St Bristol 423/573-2262 Buffalo Ruritan 200 Willowbrook Dr. Bluff City 423/391-7382 Capone’s 227 E Main St Johnson City 423/928-2295 Carter Family Fold 3449 A. P. Carter Hwy Hiltons VA 276/594-0676 Country Club Bar & Grill 3080 W State St Bristol 423/844-0400 David Thompson’s Produce 251 Highway 107 Jonesborough 423/913-8123 Down Home 300 W. Main St. Johnson City 423/929-9822 Elizabethton Moose Lodge 288 Lovers Lane Elizabethton 423/542-5454 Family Barn 15559 Lee Hwy Bristol VA The Hideaway 235 E. Main St Johnson City 423/ 926-3896 Holiday Inn (Exit 7) 3005 Linden Dr Bristol Va 276/466-4100 Holston River Brewing Company 2621 Volunteer Pkwy Bristol TN

Horseshoe Lounge 908 W. Market St. Johnson Ciy 423/ 928-8992 Jiggy Ray’s 610 E. Elk Ave Elizabethton 423/ 518-1500 Johnson City Moose Lodge 1801 W. Lakeview Dr. Johnson City 423/926-6400 Kingsport Renaissance Center 1200 E Center St Kingsport 423/392-8415 Kosher Pickle 3900 Bristol Hwy Johnson City 423/ 979-7000 The Lions Club 116 Industrial Park Rd. Chilhowie VA 276/646-3916 O’Mainnin’s Pub 712 State St Bristol 423/844-0049 Paramount Center for the Arts 516 State St. Bristol TN 423/ 274-8920 Sleepy Owl Brewery 151 E. Main St. Kingsport 423/390-8476 Wellington’s Restaurant Carnegie Hotel 1216 W State of Franklin Rd Johnson City 423/979-6400 The Willow Tree Coffeehouse & Music Room 216 E Main St Johnson City Washington County Moose 15605 Porterfield Hwy Abgindon VA 276/628-2756 Woodstone Deli 3500 Fort Henry Dr Kingsport 423/245-5424 Yee Haw Brewing Company 126 Buffalo St. Johnson City

Friday, February 26 at Capone’s

February 23, 2016 | The Loafer | Page 15


Page 16 | The Loafer | February 23, 2016

PLANET 9 AND GRAVITY WAVES

Astronomy always crops up in the general news media, and lately the buzz has been about “Planet 9” and “gravity waves.” The news crawl on the bottom of your TV news says something like: “Astronomers suspect “Planet 9” in Kuiper Belt beyond Pluto” and “Astronomers’ discovery of Gravity Waves Creates New Branch of Physics.” Which can be confusing, particular to dwarf planet and former ninth planet Pluto. Not to mention any beach surfers out there wondering if they might “catch” a gravity wave. Well after decades of “surfing” the cosmos, astronomers finally did after decades of trying—they “caught” some gravity waves rippling along space, intercepting Earth and altering space and time. (…and maybe not far behind is Marvel Comic’s Silver Surfer— searching for planets that might energize his captor, Galactus. Huh? Space nerds understand). Even though it was just a movement of one-ten-thousandths the width of the smallest atom, the detection of gravity waves on Sept. 14, 2015 has shaken the foundation of physics. Released in a scientific journal and a press conference in February 2016, the direct evidence of gravity waves has a profound effect on the future of astrophysics and our comprehension of the Universe. In a nutshell, Albert Einstein predicted 100 years ago that gravity bends light (proven in 1909) and can also warp space and time. Along with that is all the exotic concepts of time travel, warped space and even multiple Universes! There a plenty of visuals on the Internet to help you wrap your

head around the bending of time and space. Think of this one: a trampoline with a bowling ball in the middle. The trampoline is outer space and the bowling ball is a huge object with lots of gravity, like a Black Hole. The stretching of the trampoline towards the bowling ball is like gravity bending space. And if something is orbiting the Black Hole, it can create waves in that gravity force. And those gravity waves can alter the space around it and the time it takes light and other cosmic matter to travel. The bottom line: time travel, as predicted in science fiction, is possible! Just how astronomers discovered this is quite complex and the brainy stuff of astrophysics. But here goes how the discovery happened: A team of astronomers have been using two identical, special scien-

tific instruments to detect minute changed in Earth’s gravity caused by waves of altered space/time. Looking like a “Y” shaped pipe a half-mile long above the ground in Richland, Washington and Livingston, Louisiana, a precise laser records any disruption. The scientific tools are formally called the Laster Interferometer Gravitational Wave Observatory (LIGO). What happened is this: Watching the rare occurrence of two super Black Holes actually colliding, one 30 time the size of our Sun and the other 40 times more massive, the astronomers detected the warping of space and time as gravity waves from the event thousands of Light Years away flowed past Earth. The actual evidence is in the form of simple graphs like an electrocardiogram of outer space, and astronomers turned that into an audio track. The sound bite rises to a

middle C before abruptly stopping, the first direct evidence of ripples in the fabric of space-time that Einstein predicted a century ago. The discovery is ground breaking because this reveals a new factor of the Universe that is not part of the electromagnetic spectrum—of which visible light is just a small part. You have light, radio, infrared, gamma and x-rays in that spectrum, but gravity waves are something different. Like ripples in the water, the very fabric of outer space has waves created by the mass, or weight of objects, tugging on it. Yes, it’s a hard concept to grasp, but very real. What will happen next, after a possible trip to Sweden for a Nobel Prize in physics? For sure, more scientific funding will become available to build bigger and better detectors of gravity waves. And around the world, universities of nerdy scientists will play with their experiments, build some now unknown contraptions, and possibly, quite possibly, 50 years from now create the “time machine” first written about by HG Wells in 1895. While the excitement of gravity waves has people thinking about time travel and Einstein’s weird Universe, another recent astronomy item in the news has two astronomers saying they have evidence for a 9th planet in the far reaches of our Solar System. Ironically, one of the astronomers, Mike Brown, is the culprit behind the demotion of Pluto from planet to dwarf planet. Brown discovered an object, now called Eris, that is the same size as Pluto (2,370 miles) but farther away from the Sun. Than another half-dozen objects about the same size were found in this region called the Kuiper Belt. The dilemma was adding more planets or clumping these objects in their own classification. Brown wrote about it in his book “How I Killed Pluto.” Now Brown and his science partner Konstantin Batygin are convincing colleagues they have found a huge planet at the edge of the Kuiper Belt, maybe tens of billions of miles from the Sun. The astronomers have been studying a cluster of six objects each around 1,000 miles wide and orbiting deep in the Kuiper Belt. Their behavior has led them to a new “Planet 9.” studied the clustering of six objects way beyond

Pluto and how they have been tugged about in a similar direction. That direction, they say, is a large, Neptune-sized planet that is gravitationally effecting the cluster of much smaller bodies. The “Planet 9” may be no closer to the Sun than 18 billion miles and might be in an extreme elliptical orbit that takes it 65 billion miles from our star. Pluto is in an elliptical orbit that takes it from 2 to 4 billion miles from the Sun. That is the key to the prediction that Planet 9 exists, that these six dwarf planets are being tugged in the same direction out of the normal orbital plane where the rest of the planets dwell. The eight planets and asteroids orbit the Sun in a flat, saucer-shaped plane that varies only up to 3 degrees from horizontal. But Pluto and the other Dwarf Planets are orbiting at extreme angles to the planetary plane, just like comets that can come from any direction around the Solar System. The inference of unseen objects has plenty of precedence as that’s how Neptune was discovered. After the discovery of Uranus through the eyes of astronomy giant William Herschel in 1781, it was realized something was pulling at it. The math was done by two independent researchers and Neptune was discovered in 1846 at a Berlin Observatory. Pluto was also found in 1930 when searching for gravitational tugs on Neptune, though the gravity calculations were for something larger. How could an 80,000-mile-wide object, 10-times the size of Earth, so far away from the Sun? Astronomers have worked supercomputers overtime to determine that the early Solar System was filled with hundreds of large objects crashing into each other, some getting larger, some getting flung deeper into space. One giant impact severed the Moon from the Earth in that first 500 million years of our 5-billion-year lifetime of the Solar System. Assuming the math is correct and there is giant Planet 9 out there, how will we find it? The “geek squad” has several earthbased telescopes looking for it, and the prediction is within 5 years Planet 9 will be found. Give time some time and we may just have a new member of our Solar System. And that will create a wave of excitement for all of us.


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February 23, 2016 | The Loafer | Page 17

Celestial events in the skies for the week of Feb. 23rd - Feb. 29th as compiled for The Loafer by Mark D. Marquette. Leap Day week for 2016. Because Earth orbits the Sun every 365-and-a-quarter-days, every four years we combine those quarters into one whole day. If we didn’t, in a 120 years we’d be celebrating Christmas around Thanksgiving time and Halloween in September. February was the last month of the year in early Roman times when around 680 BC Emperor Numa Pompilius added January and February to the previous 10-month calendar to create the winter season. Tues. Feb. 23 That bright “star” rising next to the Moon around 8 pm tonight is the giant planet Jupiter, the fourth brightest object in the sky next to the Sun, Moon and Venus. Both are in the hindquarters of Leo the Lion—a positive sign of spring. Wed. Feb. 24

Sirius, the brightest star in the sky, is directly south at 9 pm. It is also called the “Dog Star,” as it is in the Big Dog, Canis Major. Sirius is high in the daytime sky during mid-Summer, thus the saying “Dog Days of Summer,” which comes from the Egyptians believing the star’s bright light

added heat to the region. On this 2011 date in space history, Space Shuttle Discovery was launched on its 39th and final mission, docking and delivering supplies to the International Space Station. Thurs. Feb. 25 The Winter Circle of eight

bright stars begin overhead with red Aldebaran in the V-shaped pattern of Taurus the Bull and continue with Capella in Auriga, Castor and Pollux in Gemini, Procyon in Canis Major, Sirius in Canis Major, Rigel and Betelgeuse in Orion. Jupiter is in the middle, between the legs of the celestial brothers. Fri. Feb. 26 The morning sky features Scorpius rising from 3-6 am two planets in its claws. Saturn is golden yellow to the left and Mars is red to the right. As Scorpius crawls into the night sky, Mars will be closest to Earth in May and be much brighter than right now. Sat. Feb. 27 Looking north, the Big Dipper is standing on its handle and its bowl is pointing to the North Star, Polaris, which is always visible. Another sign of Spring is the Big Dipper emptying that bowl over the landscape as time moves it like backward hands on a clock. Sun. Feb. 28 On this 1966 date in space

history, two Gemini rookie astronauts were killed when their plane crashed into the very factory their spacecraft was being built. Gemini IX prime crew Charlie Bassett and Elliot See crashed their T-38 jet after clipping the McDonnell Aircraft Corp. building while landing during a rainstorm in St. Louis, Mo. They were replaced by Tom Stafford, who later orbited the Moon, and the last man on the Moon, Gene Cernan. In 1990, Space Shuttle Atlantis was launched on a Top Secret mission for the Department of Defense, deploying a spy satellite. Mon. Feb. 29 Leap Day 2016. The extra day poses a dilemma for those “leaplings” born on this day— do they celebrate the three other years on Feb. 28 or March 1? Famous people born today: rapper Ja Rule, 40; self-help author Tony Robbins, 56; 1960s pop singer and actress Dinah Shore; band leader Jimmy Dorsey, deceased; Skylab astronaut Jack Lousma, 80.


Page 18 | The Loafer | February 23, 2016

IN THEATRES NOW Box Office Top 10

In Theaters Now

And The Oscar Goes To......

It’s that time of year when all the award shows culminate with the Golden Boy know as Oscar. As usual, the Oscars have managed to stir up controversy again this year. Over the years, sure bets in the various categories have been overlooked, and this year is no exception. This year the Academy of Motion Arts and Sciences has come under fire for the total lack of racial diversity in the nominees list, including Best Picture, and some stars have planned to boycott the show. We shall see how all that pans out, but you can bet next year there will be more diversity on the nominees list. On with my projected winners in the 88th Academy Awards. And the Oscar goes to... Best Actor: Leonardo DiCaprio for “The Revenant” Michael Fassbender for “Steve Jobs” Matt Damon for “The Martian” Eddie Redmayne for “The Danish Girl” Bryan Cranston for “Trumbo” My pick: Leonardo DiCaprio. This is Leo’s year, and his turn at the podium is long overdue. He has already raked in other awards for this role, so add Oscar to the collection. Best Actress: Brie Larson for “Room” Saorise for “Brooklyn” Cate Blanchett for “Carol”

Jennifer Lawrence for “Joy” Charlotte Rampling for “42 Years” The actress who has complied the most pre-Oscar awards is Larson, so I will give her the nod over the other ladies. Best Supporting Actor: Sylvester Stallone for “Creed” Mark Rylance for “Bridge of Spies” Mark Ruffalo for “Spotlight” Tom Hardy for “The Revenant” Christian Bale for “The Big Short” While I would love to see Bale win for his fascinating role in “The Big Short”, Hollywood loves a comeback, so I fully expect to see Stallone grab the Oscar for the role of Rocky he first originated in 1977. Best Supporting Actress:

Deadpool (2016) A former Special Forces operative turned mercenary is subjected to a rogue experiment that leaves him with accelerated healing powers, adopting the alter ego Deadpool.

Hail, Caesar! (2016) A Hollywood fixer in the 1950s works to keep the studio’s stars in line. Star Wars: Episode VII The Force Awakens (2015) Three decades after the defeat of the Galactic Empire, a new threat arises. The First Order attempts to rule the galaxy and only a ragtag group of heroes can stop them, along with the help of the Resistance.

Kung Fu Panda 3 (2016) Continuing his “legendary Alicia Vikander for “The Dan- adventures of awesomeness”, ish Girl” Po must face two hugely epic, Kate Winslet for “Steve Jobs” but different threats: one suRooney Marafor “Carol” pernatural and the other a little Jennifer Jason Leigh for “The closer to his home. The Choice (2016) Hateful Eight” Travis and Gabby first meet How to Be Single (2016) Rachel McAdams for “Spotas neighbors in a small coastal New York City is full of light” town and wind up in a relalonely hearts seeking the right While I would love to see match, and what Alice, Robin, tionship that is tested by life’s “Titanic” co-stars Winslet and Lucy, Meg, Tom and David all most defining events. DiCaprio win the same year, have in common is the need Winslet’s film “Steve Jobs” was to learn how to be single in a Ride Along 2 (2016) a flop, so look for favorite Ali- world filled with ever-evolvAs his wedding day apcia Vikander to win. proaches, Ben heads to Miami ing definitions of love. Best Director: with his soon-to-be brotherAlejandro G. Inarritu for ‘The Zoolander 2 (2016) in-law James to bring down a drug dealer who’s supplying Derek and Hansel are lured Revenant” the dealers of Atlanta with into modeling again, in Rome, George Miller for “Mad Max: product. where they find themselves the Fury Road” target of a sinister conspiracy. Adam Mckay for “The Big The Boy (2016) Short” An American nanny is The Revenant (2015) Tom McCarthy for “Spotlight” A frontiersman on a fur trad- shocked that her new English Lenny Abrahamson for ing expedition in the 1820s family’s boy is actually a life“Room” fights for survival after being sized doll. After she violates The favorite in this category mauled by a bear and left for a list of strict rules, disturbing is Inarritu, but I will pick Mill- dead by members of his own events make her believe that er in an upset for his outstand- hunting team. the doll is really alive. ing work on “Mad Max: Fury Road”. IMDb.com Best Picture: (02/20/2016) “The Big Short” “Spotlight” ject. On the other hand, “Mad categorizes, “Inside Out” will “The Revenant” Max; Fury Road” was the most win best Animated feature, “Mad Max: Fury Road” creative of the lot, but it’s ex- and for Best Original Song I “The Martian” tremely rare for science fictions really want Sam Smith to win “Room” films to win Best Picture. With for “The Writing’s On The “Brooklyn” a large cast of box office stars, Wall from “Spectre”, but I feel “Bridge of Spies” This is the toughest category quality acting, and a script The Weeknds mesmerizing to call this year. All the films based on actual events, I give “Earned It” from “Fifty Shades have a chance, with “Spot- the Best Picture nod to “The of Grey” will see gold. light” having a slight advan- Big Short”. The Oscars will air Sunday, As for several of the other February 28th at 7pm on ABC. tage due to its challenging sub-


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February 23, 2016 | The Loafer | Page 19

Home Sweet Homer

tional 742 Evergreen Terrace in Springfield, USA. Out in Henderson, NV (a suburb of Las Vegas with a population of more than 250,000), amidst the other single-family homes in an ordinary housing development sits this familiarlooking structure, built by FOX as a contest giveaway back in the 1990’s. It was designed to match the approximate paramaters of the Simpsons’ abode both in dimension and décor. I decided not to include an image of the house as de-

For decades now, the idea of the dysfunctional family has been mined by TV networks far and wide as comedy gold. What became popularized decades ago with the success of shows like, All in the Family, Married…With Children, and Roseanne, continues to be a mainstay in programming today. Perhaps that’s because of the idea that in this type of fiction writers can play with our imagination through characters and situations that are typically out of bounds for more wholesome (and hopefully realistic) family-oriented series. Or maybe we feel better about ourselves through the sense of schadenfreude we get in finding ourselves amused by the misery of others. One thing is clear though: the idea of bringing the plights of such a family

to an animated format was certainly cemented with the introduction of The Simpsons. For 25 years now, The Simpsons has been more than just the cornerstone of FOX’s Sunday night lineup. Indeed, it has transcended to the level of pop culture phenomenon that multiple generations now find relevant. You can’t go very far in this country anymore without eventually encountering a Simpsons reference or a Simpsons quote. And this carries over into material goods too. You’ve seen them: Simpsons T-shirts, Simpsons coffee mugs, Simpsons houses… Wait, huh? Simpsons houses? Oh yes, out there in this great land of ours exists an actual suburban family home built to emulate Marge and Homer’s homestead -- the fic-

picted on the series (to avoid getting chased after by Rupert Murdoch and his goons), but this seems really pretty accurate. And the best part? Even though it is now painted and modified to fit the local homeowner association’s demands, upon completion, it was truly the spitting image – outside and in. Not only was the outside painted a cartoonish orange with a pink car sitting in the driveway, but the inside featured the same overstuffed sofa, the same crooked picture, and even the same corn-onthe-cob curtains you’d find in Marge’s kitchen. The attention to detail was astounding.

Was. The furnishings were not included in the prize as there were trademark issues, and as I said above, the paint job was also temporary as the property was eventually obligated to comply with neighborhood standards. But even now, the design is instantly recognizable. The Kentucky woman who eventually won the contest elected to take the alternate prize of $75,000 rather than move to Nevada, so the home went on the market. It is now privately owned – I presume by people who don’t mind the occasional gawker. Ay, caramba!


Page 20 | The Loafer | February 23, 2016

ter what battle or struggle they may face. I love and appreciate the blessing this community is, and has been, to me and I’ll always strive to choose to show it love and compassion and

I’ve failed and hurt, the things I could have become but didn’t because of my stubborn selfish pride and laziness, I cannot help but be beyond humbled knowing He took the cross for me and others like me. “For whosoever will.” That means anyone who calls on His name, including me. Truly amazing and so hard for me to grasp sometimes why He would or could love someone like me. So faith is so vitally important to me. I may not understand the many why this or why that we all have in life, and I may not fully understand His plan for my life or why He has blessed me so, but I’m learning more and more every day to

it give it my best. We can all make a difference in some way. BRIAN: One of the things being from here instills in many of us, is a foundation of faith. I know you are from a family of ministers. Talk a little about the role faith plays in your life. ROB: I’m nothing without my faith. I’m literally nothing without it. I’m not ashamed to proclaim Jesus as my savior, my hope. Being a flawed, wayward human being I’m so amazed by His Grace and His love even unto the cross. When I examine my life and the mistakes I’ve made, the people

just trust in Him. To lean more on what His word says, and to care less about pleasing others instead of Him. As I mentioned a moment ago, we are called to love and so I intend to love others because He first loved me. Even in my darkest of days I know I’m loved and beyond blessed. So my faith will help guide me home. BRIAN: And I cannot let the opportunity pass to have you tell folks about your position with Bays Mountain Park. What is it like working in one of the most scenic places around the region and what is

The Rob Cole Interview

If you want to see one of the most beautiful views in Kingsport you have to go visit Bays Mountain Park. If you want to meet one of the most amazing people, stop in and spend some time with Operations Manager and Kingsport native Rob Cole. He is a life-long friend and always an outspoken advocate for our area. The signs say, “Don’t feed the bears” but take yourself a sandwich and sit down with Rob Cole for a few minutes. You will quickly realize you are talking to the real deal, a genuinely caring human being. (Take Rob a sandwich too, he likes bologna.) BRIAN: Rob, we grew up together playing church basketball against each other and our brothers as well. Being from this region tends to turn out a certain type of person that you don’t find from other places. How did growing up local influence you? ROB: Wow. Seems like just yesterday, doesn’t it? We had plenty of fun and, I’m sure you’ll agree, competing against friends always made it so much more fun and seemed to bring out the best in us. You and I were blessed to have people, family and other acquaintances, around us who demonstrated a genuine love and interest in seeing us grow, succeed and become contributing members of our community. They taught us themes such as faith, respect, love, perseverance, hard work, patience… I could go on and on. Reflecting on my

upbringing makes me appreciate all the more the influences my family, friends, neighbors, coaches, and teachers all had on me. I wish they were all still here so I could thank them for the impact they’ve had on my life. To those that are still with us, I sincerely do thank them. Without their influence I wouldn’t be who I am or doing what I do today. I just hope to live up to their expectations and to hopefully make them proud. And, of course, return the same measure they gave to me to others around me in my daily walk. BRIAN: You have always been involved in the community through your work and church. Why has the community always been important to you? ROB: This community has always been important to me because the people in it have been such an influence on me and have given so much to me. It seems only right that I/ we give back. I’d like to live 1 Corinthians 13:13 every day. “And now abideth faith, hope, charity (love), these three; but the greatest of these is charity (love).” I know I fail to do that all too often. But, I truly enjoy doing something that allows me to give back to those around me. If I can make just one person’s day a little better than before then it’s worth every effort I can give to try to do just that. Everyone has a story. And everyone has potential and should be loved no mat-

coming up at the park this season? ROB: What can I say about working at Bays Mountain Park & Planetarium? I am without a doubt one of the most blessed people in Kingsport. To call Bays Mountain Park my work place? Are you kidding? I have an office with an amazing view! I grew up in Sevier Terrace where I could clearly see Bays Mountain from my front yard, and my parents would take me and my two brothers there when we were little. Of course, those of us who grew up in Kingsport took field trips to the Park every year and we always looked forward to that. So I’ve always loved Bays Mountain Park. As operations coordinator for the Park I get to promote and tell others about a place I’m truly passionate about. Trust me, it’s not hard to talk about the Park. I could fill up this whole column. I’ll just simply say come and visit us. There’s something for everyone and it’s so very affordable. Whether you prefer the 40 miles of trails for hiking and mountain biking, the state-ofthe-art planetarium shows, or the native animal habitats we have featuring gray wolves, otters, bobcats, and more, you will not be disappointed on your visit. Even during the winter the mountain has a beauty that is undeniable and breathtaking. We just debuted a new planetarium show titled “The Transit of Mercury – Featuring Solar Quest” that is a wonderful show focusing on this May’s Mercury transit of the Sun and features a fun, live interactive component for all viewers. We’re also set to get a new barge later this spring or early summer so attendees will want to check that out, too, on their visit. For more details or for updates on program offerings, folks can contact us at 423-2299447 or visit us online at www. baysmountain.com.


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appalachian fair to award scholarships The $1000 scholarships go to high school seniors or to those currently enrolled in a college, university or accredited vocational school. The deadline for applying for the scholarships is April 10. Selections will be made by the fair’s scholarship committee. Last year’s scholarship winners were Alyssa Rupert and Dara Carney-Nedelman. Alyssa is a graduate of Sullivan Central and is attending Milligan College pursuing a career in Nursing. Dara is a graduate of Unicoi County High School and is attending the University of Tennessee, Knoxville, pursuing a degree in Public Affairs Air Force Officer. Application forms can be obtained by calling the Fair Office at 477-3211, e-

mailing a request to appfair@embarqmail.com, or download a form at www. appalachianfair.com. Applicants must be a permanent resident of the area served by the fair, and have at least a 2.5 GPA. The applicants must have participated in the Appalachian Fair within the past two years, attach testimonials from school, business, church, and/or community leaders, and an essay stating why they should be selected. Completed application, with testimonials, required essay and official transcripts are due not later than April 10. They should be sent to the Appalachian Fair Scholarship Committee, P. O. Box 8218, Gray, TN 37615.

Space ..... continued from page 6 water eroding clay or rock, sand being poured through a sieve by the viewer or the elements of nature breaking down unfired clay bullet-shaped cones, Ogden’s explorations take her from her studio into the gallery and often outside the gallery building. “My work really just comes from observing the world around me,” Ogden says. “I’m fascinated by what I see and fascinated by nature and really slowing down and taking the moment to notice something that we have probably taken for granted before.” Her studio is full of her “investigations” and collections of “artifacts” to be observed – tightly sculpted cones of Indiana red earth or seeds, 365 multicolored chicken eggshells gathered one at a time for a year, Petri dishes of dirt and decaying material that are slowly changing as the days on the calendar tick off. “Transformations are inevitable phenomena,” says Jenn Toby in her curatorial statement for a show featuring Ogden’s evolutionary work. “They can be slow, such as gradual developments within the roots of evolution, or practically imperceptible, like how our days are growing milliseconds longer each century. Transformation also occurs

rapidly, as the ever-changing neuroplasticity of our brain shapes our persona … Inspiration to realization, the artistic process is a direct reaction to cognitive and environmental change. “As the Greek philosopher Heraclitus puts it, ‘The only constant is change.’ ” “Many people think of sculpture as very static, very still, because it’s bronze, it’s marble or some heavy material,” says Anita DeAngelis, art professor and director of event co-sponsor Mary B. Martin School of the Arts at ETSU, “but Joyce’s work has a delicacy and motion about it. In a lot of ways, the passage of time is such an important part of her work. I expect her perspective on ‘sculpture’ will be fascinating.” For more information on Ogden, visit http://www.joyceogden.com. To learn more about the FL3TCH3R exhibit, visit http://fl3tch3rexhibit.com/ or more about Fletcher Dyer at http://fletcherdyer.com. For more information on Ogden’s visit or Mary B. Martin School of the Arts, please visit www.etsu.edu/martin or call 423-439-TKTS (8587). For disability accommodations, call the ETSU Office of Disability Services at 423-4398346.

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THINGS TO DO . . . . . MPCC to hold Irish Dance Class

Memorial Park Community Center, 510 Bert St., will offer a four-week Irish Dance Class from 5:30-6:30 p.m. on Fridays beginning Feb. 26. Participants ages 8 and older will learn Irish dance steps and sequences like those seen on River Dance and Lord of the Dance. Please dress in comfortable clothing. Shoes can be Irish ghillies, ballet slippers, jazz shoes or tennis shoes. Class fee for the four-week session is $35. Pre-registration is not required. For more information, call (423)4345749.

Washington County students ages 6-12. Camp fee is $40, and children will enjoy participating in arts and crafts, games, swimming and much more. Participants are required to bring a packed lunch and swim clothing every day. Comfortable clothing and tennis shoes are preferred. Camp will be held 9 a.m. until 4 p.m. daily, with early drop-off (7:30 a.m.) and late pick-up (5:15 p.m.) available for an additional $10. • Johnson City: March 14-18 • Washington County: March 21-25 Register online at www.myjcparks. org or in person at Memorial Park Community Center, Monday-Saturday, 7 a.m.-9 p.m. Please call MPCC at 4614850 for more information.

Jackson Park Church of the Academy Application Brethren Community Meal Available Jackson Park Church of the Brethren Women’s Fellowship will be hosting a Community Meal on Saturday, February 27th from 5 - 7 PM. The meal will consist of fried chicken and ham with vegetables roll, desert and drink. Take out orders are available and can be call in to 423-753-9875 Proceeds will go toward the Women’s work in the community. Please join us for a great meal, fellowship and a fun evening. Jackson Park Church of the Brethren is located at 100 Oak Grove Ave, Jonesborough, TN.

Yoga Classes at Washington County Gray Library

Yoga classes will be offered at the Washington County Gray Library on Thursday evenings from 5:30 to 6:30 p.m., weather permitting. Jamie Ferrell, a certified yoga instructor, will teach Vinyasa Flow yoga, to persons at any level, from beginner to advanced. Classes are free, but participants need to bring their own yoga mats and water bottles. Registration is requested by calling the library at 477-1550.

MPCC to host Spring Break Sports Camps

Memorial Park Community Center, 510 Bert St., will offer a Spring Break Sports Camp for both Johnson City and

The Johnson City Police Department is accepting applications for the 45th session of the Citizen’s Police Academy. The first session is scheduled for Monday, April 25,2016. The nine-week academy is designed to develop a better understanding and awareness of the police role in the community through a hands-on approach. Participants must be at least 21 years old, physically able to meet training requirements, available to attend nine three-hour weekly sessions and one eight-hour Saiurday session, available to ride with a patrol officer for two eight-hour shifts, sign required waivers and agreements, and have no criminal history. Applications may be obtained from the Johnson City Police Department Community Services, 601 East Main Street. After 5 p.m., applications may be obtained from Johnson City Police Records at the same address. Applications can also be accessed on Johnson City’ s website at wwwi ohnsoncit)’tn. org/police. Deadline for registration is April 15, 2016. Applications must be returned by that date for processing. For more information, call Glenda Aschenback at 434-6170.

Arts Array presents

“ANIMAL HOUSE”

The Arts Array Film Series presented by Virginia Highlands Community College is in its 45th year. All films are presented at the Abingdon Cinemall on Mondays and Tuesdays at 4 p.m. and again at 7:30 pm.

Animal House

(February 29 and March 1) This outrageous comedy captures the story of a group of B-level frat boys who must fight for their existence as a fraternity at Faber College in the face of the prestigious Omegas. Unable to gain acceptance at the snootier fraternities, the motley crew, bent on disrupting the well-starched status quo, form the Deltas. They engage in various illegalities that land them in hot water and their exploits eventually cause Dean Wormer to enlist Omega president Greg Marmalard to drive the Deltas out of the college. The Arts Array Film Series is part of the comprehensive cultural outreach program of Virginia Highlands Community College. The series is co-sponsored by the Abingdon Cinemall, the Southwest Virginia Higher Education Center, Emory & Henry College, and

Centre in Johnson City, Tennessee, on Thursday, Feb. 25, from 12- 4 p.m. The Interstate Career Fair will host over 70 employers and graduate schools. The event is free open to the general public. “Last year, 400 students and community members attended the Interstate Career Fair,” said Beth Anderson, chair of the Interstate Career Council. “The fair is an opportunity for quality employers and graduate schools to meet qualified candidates for open positions and internships. Employers will have opportunities available for full-time, part-time, internship and summer positions.” The Tennessee Career Coach staff will be on site to help participants refine their resumes, prepare for interviews and search job-databases for further job opportunities. To learn more about services provided by Tennessee Career Coach, visit their website at www. tn.gov/workforce/topic/get-on-theInterstate Career Fair coach. All services are free of charge. The Interstate Career Fair is sponThe 28th annual Interstate Career sored by the Interstate Career Council Fair will be held at the Millennium

King University. Admission to the films is free for the faculties and students at the supporting institutions. Members of the general community may attend for $7.75. For a brochure on the series or more information, please contact Tommy Bryant at 276-739-2451 or email him at tbryant@vhcc.edu. which is made up of 17 area colleges and universities. This fair brings students and alumni from those institutions together under one roof to network with employers and graduate/ professional schools. Those schools include: Bluefield State College, Carson-Newman University, Concord University, East Tennessee State University, Emory & Henry College, King University, Lincoln Memorial University, Milligan College, Northeast State Community College, Old Dominion University, Southwest Community College, Tennessee Wesleyan College, Tusculum College, University of Virginia at Wise, Virginia Highlands Community College, Virginia Tech and Wytheville Community College. For more information on employers recruiting candidates, please go to www.collegecentral.com/interstatefair to see a listing of employers and graduate schools or contact Anderson at BAnderson@milligan.edu.


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Pets Of The Week

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Bella is a 2 year old female Daschund who is spayed and up to date on all vaccines. She is a smart and lively girl! She has been at the shelter for awhile and is ready for her forever home!

Albert is a 2 year old Great Pyrenes mix. He is neutered and up to date on all vaccines. He is a beautiful and friendly dog!

The Bridge Home has an ongoing aluminum can can collection in front of the shelter at 2061Hwy 75 in Blountville,TN 37617. The cans are collected by a volunteer and the money from the aluminum goes towards badly needed food and supplies for the animals The Bridge Home No Kill Animal Rescue recently moved in to their new 7,300 sq foot building @ 2061 Hwy 75 Blountville, TN,37617. The Bridge Home is a non profit 501(c)(3) organization established in 2002 dedicated to the welfare of homeless or abandoned animals. They provide care and compassion for stray and unwanted cats and dogs until they can be adopted into a forever home. Every animal in their care is spayed or neutered and fully vaccinated before being adopted. Being a non profit the shelter is funded entirely by membership dues and private donations. They always need volunteers or monetary donations. Other always needed items:pet food, cat litter & cat toys dog treats & dog toys,paper towels, cleaners, office supplies,Purina weight circles. Phone: 423.239.5237 Hours are Mon-Fri 12pm-6pm Sat 12pm-3pm and Sun 2pm-4pm. Website is www.bridgehomerescue@gmail.com or like them on Facebook: www.Facebook.com/bridgehome?fref=ts.

MECC to Offer Private Pilot Ground School Instruction Interested in becoming a private pilot? Mountain Empire Community College will offer an online course this spring designed to prepare students for the FAA private pilot examination. MECC will offer ARO (Aviation) 121 – Private Pilot Ground School beginning March 14 through May 9. This three-credit class will present the fundamental principles of flight. Topics include the theory of flight, aircraft standards and specifications, basic aircraft construction, weight and balance, navigation, meteorology, principles of radio communication, and application of aero-physics. Jordan Bates will serve as the instructor for the course. Bates holds a Bachelor’s degree in Aeronautics and a private pilot license. Cost for the course will be $436.50. No textbook is required. For more information, contact Fran Doyle, Assistant Dean for Business & Technology, at 276.523. 2400 or by email at fdoyle@mecc.edu. To enroll in the course, visit www.mecc.edu/apply.


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SCCY CPX-1

Although mentioned in previous articles, the SCCY CPX-1 is worthy of its own article. Haven’t heard of SCCY? That’s not surprising, they are a relatively small manufacturer based out of Daytona Beach, Florida. Founded in 2003 by Joe Roebuck a tool and die maker and mechanical design engineer after he noticed more states passing legislation to allow concealed carry. Joe then saw the need for a quality, low cost option for concealed carry, and the CPX line was born. The CPX comes in two models, the CPX-1 and CPX-2 which are identical with the exception that the CPX-1 has an external safety and the CPX-2 has none. For the sake of this article we’ll focus on the CPX-1, just keep the difference in mind if you go to buy one. One of the most appealing aspects of SCCY firearms is that they’re 100% made in the USA, from American materials, this means that they employ our neighbors and strengthen our economy. By far the most appealing aspect is the warranty they offer on they’re CPX pistols, a lifetime unconditional warranty which goes so far as to offer a free replacement if the gun is ever lost or stolen. This is an incredible value when shopping for your next concealed carry gun. The CPX-1 is chambered in 9mm and comes with two 10 round double-stack magazines. It also features a Zytel Polymer frame. It has a barrel length of 3.1 inches and has

an unloaded weight of only 15 ounces. If you’re a Glock fan you’re going to love the way this gun feels in your hand, not blocky but you can definitely tell you’ve got something in your hand. The grip also features finger grooves for a more comfortable grip, and the pinky extender on the magazine also features a finger groove. Overall this is a very comfortable gun to hold and shoot. So with an MSRP of only $334.00 you might be thinking SCCY skimped on the quality, but you’d be wrong. You can always tell the quality of anything by its warranty, that’s not only true for firearms, but everything from pocket knives to washing machines. No company, knowingly having an in-

ferior product is going to offer an unconditional lifetime warranty. So you might be asking yourself “Where is the compromise?” there has to be a reason for the low cost right? Well the answer is that Joe designed a pistol with no frills or unnecessary fanciness. The gun performs well and looks good it just lacks the “sleekness” of say a Beretta or Smith & Wesson. I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that the CPX-1 is available in 22 different color/slide finish options from hot-pink with a satin slide to flat dark earth with a black slide. As always I hope you enjoyed this article, if you have any questions or concerns please feel free to email me, I look forward to your feedback.


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NOW YOU SEE IT, NOW YOU DON’T

Seems like everyone likes predictions, although we should know better. Accurate predictions are impossible to make, but forecasts are more feasible. If you doubt what I’ve just said, I suggest you read Nassim Nicholas Taleb’s fascinating book, THE BLACK SWAN: THE IMPACT OF THE HIGHLY IMPROBABLE (2007). According to Taleb, predictions rarely take into account the appearance of the many unpredictable factors that crop up to make sure our predictions usually fail. This column will steer clear of outright predictions but will instead focus on the safer alternative of forecasting. Let’s start with a little item posted last month on the Crunch Network. Columnist Tom Gonser writes about “5 Things That Will Disappear In 5 Years,” a favorite kind of topic for many writers. It’s always interesting to look into the crystal ball and try to discern what we are in danger of losing. When it comes to technology, Gonser’s topic, we can probably place many safe bets on things that will soon become obsolete. According to Gonser, “Just five years ago the world was a very different place. In 2010, the iPad had just made its debut, Kickstarter was introducing a new form of venture capitalism that would change the face of fundraising and Square was letting vendors of any size accept payment with a swipe of a card on a mobile

device.” Gonser then goes on to ask, in the face of all this rapid (and indeed unpredictable) change, “what will we leave behind” in the next five years? His list is one that most any observant person could compile. First up, we should expect to see drastic changes, if not the outright disappearance, of “cash, checkbooks, credit cards and ATMs.” When is the last time you wrote a check at the checkout line? When is the last time you used real cash? Although cash will not disappear in a mere five years (a long time when it comes to technology), Gonser believes that “in the more distant future, there will be no cash,” and therefore no need for antiquated ATMS that will go the way of the phone booth (when is the last time you saw or used one of those?). Do you think you’ll be storing your digital information on USB sticks in five years? Probably not, as we move more toward a totally cloud-based environment, one in which “70 percent of the world will be using a smartphone.” At that point, cloud storage will be truly ubiquitous and there will be no need for those little easy-tolose thumbdrives. No doubt we will have some bittersweet sentiments about seeing those little things go the way of the floppy disk. That’s right, no more Batman or Darth Vader figurines molded around a USB connector.

Along with the demise of physical storage devices we will no doubt witness the disappearance of passwords and keys. Most analysts believe that those impossible-to-remember passwords will be replaced by biometrics. We are already using fingerprint readers on our iPhones and other devices, so it seems logical that passwords will be replaced by our own biology. In like manner, those physical keys that jangle in our pockets will be replaced by all sorts of gadgets belonging to the Internet of Things (see my column from last week). Recently I wrote about digital locks that are activated and deactivated by our smartphones with nary a jangly metal key in sight. Are you annoyed by the prevalence of remote controls in your house? Well, you won’t

have to wait much longer for those devices to be totally replaced by your phone or neat little cylinders like Amazon’s Echo. I am already entranced by my new Apple TV, with its Siri commands that allow me to watch what I want by merely saying “I want to watch some really bad Elvis movies” (are there any other kind?). We already have become somewhat accustomed to these devices and it is not difficult to imagine all sorts of remote controls that work by voice activation. And it will be a little difficult to lose an Amazon Echo somewhere in

that vast unexplored territory beneath our couch cushions. Gonser concludes his survey of five things in danger of becoming extinct by examining the state of paper transactions and physical signatures. In the brave new world to come, we should be seeing an end to signed contracts and agreements. Digital signatures will be the norm and we might at long last see a drastic reduction in the amount of paper we use (a prediction that has been made since the dawn of the digital age). Say goodbye to Dunder Mifflin. Preparing this column gave me occasion to search my bookshelf for an oversized volume I hadn’t consulted in quite some time. Published twenty-two years ago, Susan Jonas and Marilyn Nissenson’s GOING,

GOING, GONE: VANISHING AMERICANA, is a compendium of over seventy items that were at the time disappearing from the American landscape. Interestingly enough, one of those items was “bank checks,” which are apparently still on the endangered list. but not yet totally extinct. Many other items on the list, including the automat (ever seen one of those?), carbon paper, enclosed telephone booths, gas station attendants, fur coats, girdles, hotel keys, house calls (by doctors), men’s garters, penmanship, rotary phones, slide rules, soda fountains, card catalogs, TV antennas, two-newspaper towns, typewriters, the unanswered phone, wedding night virgins, and white gloves, are either gone or going. Other items, such as vinyl records, have made an unpredictable reappearance in a very dramatic way (why, I don’t know). I certainly hope one item on the list, the leisure suit, remains totally and utterly extinct throughout eternity. Smoking is also on the list, and although tobacco smoking may be declining in popularity, who could have predicted the current vaping craze? This is Taleb’s “black swan” that appears when you least expect it. And I must admit that I have a fond place in my heart for the shoe-fitting fluoroscope, a fixture of my youth that is now perhaps gone forever. Look it up on Google (another Black Swan for the generation that tried to predict the future twenty-two years ago). Hope this column has sparked your interest in taking a look around to see if you can spot things that might not be around five years from now, as well as things that are now absent from our cultural landscape and mindset. Before you start making predictions, however, be on the lookout for those black swans. See you next week, with another column that shows The Loafer intends to stay around for quite a while longer.


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