The Loafer January 9th by The Loafer

theloaferonline.com | January 9, 2018

on the cover

Volume 32 • Issue #6

Kingsport Chamber Dinner w/

Publisher Luci Tate

Cover Design Bill May Advertising Patti Barr Paul Kavanaugh Janie Jarvis Carolyn Kestner

Contributing Staff Jim Kelly Andy Ross Ken Silvers Mark Marquette Brian Bishop Daniel Worley Jason Worley Langley Shazor Distribution Jerry Hanger Teresa Hanger Published by Pulse Publishing, LLC., P.O. Box 3238, Johnson City, TN 37602 Phone: 423/283-4324 FAX - 423/283-4369 www.theloaferonline.com info@theloaferonline.com e-mail: editorial@theloaferonline.com adcopy@theloaferonline.com All advertisements are accepted and published by the publisher upon the representation that the agency and/ or advertiser is authorized to publish the entire contents and subject matter thereof. The agency and/or advertiser will indemnify and save the publisher harmless from any lossof expense resulting from claims or suits based upon contents of any advertisement, including claims or suits for defamation, libel, right of privacy, plagiarism, and copyright infringement.

Founder: Bill Williams Let’s Get Social!

columns & reviews

Office Coordinator Amanda Lane

20 Stargazer Really Far Out Visit to Titan & Shangri-La 21 Skies This Week 24 Batteries Not Included Even More of The Monkees 25 Pop Life The Greatest Showman 26 Appalachian Wanderers Winter Hiking Tips 28 Mountain Movers The Cory Martin Interview 31 The Casual Word Predilections 32 Puzzle Page 35 Kelly’s Place New Gadgets For A New Year (Column #1,477)

your week’s line-up

Party on the Moon

Editor Graphic Arts Director Don Sprinkle

4 5 6 8 9 10 12 14 16 17 17 18 23 27 27 29 31 33 24

Kingsport Chamber Dinner The Death Of An Icon ETSU School of Arts Spring Season Spring Expo Uncle Shuffelo & His Haint Hollow Hootenanny at Carter Family Fold So You Said Yes Simple Elegance Bridal Show 19 Dos & Don'ts For The Groom Advice for Marriage Logan Fritz @ Heartwood Rebel Mountain & 3.0 @ Country Club Bar & Grill Spotlight Cornucopia, A Gourmet Popcorn Shop Opens Arts Array Concert Local Writer speaks @ Gray Library Railway Express & Syren @ HRBC Paramount Partners Pets Of The Week Things To Do

theloaferonline.com | January 9, 2018

returning to play for Kingsport Chamber Annual Dinner! “The Number One Party Band in the Nation” will headline the stage for another incredible night of entertainment at the Kingsport Chamber 71st Annual Dinner. “Kingsport’s Social Event of the Year” will take place Friday, February 2, 2018, at the MeadowView Marriott Conference Resort & Convention Center, Kingsport.

They’ve played for President Barack Obama’s Inaugural. They have performed for Presidents George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton and George W. Bush. They have played for the President of Nigeria and political figures and celebrities from around the globe. They have played for Eli Manning’s wedding, Ted Turner and Julius Erving. They have played for President Donald Trump’s New Year’s Eve Party for the past seven years… …and now the Number One Party Band in the Nation is back again to play for your Kingsport Chamber 71st Annual Dinner!

he evening will begin with a reception at 6 p.m. followed by the dinner and program at 7 p.m. The public is invited to attend. Tickets go on sale to the public on Wednesday, January 10, 2018. Tickets are $125 and can be purchased at your Kingsport Chamber (400 Clinchfield Street, next to Food City in downtown Kingsport) or by calling (423) 392-8800. Last year’s event was another record sellout and this year’s dinner is expected to be as well. Those interested in attending are encouraged to purchase their tickets as soon as possible. As a special offer, this year’s Kingsport Chamber Annual Dinner ticket will also be good as a complimentary ticket to any Symphony of the Mountains Orchestra concert during the 2018 season. MeadowView will be offering a selection of wines available for purchase the night of the event. To pre-order, please call MeadowView at (423) 578-6618. In addition, a special guest room rate, which includes breakfast for two, is offered for only $141 to Kingsport Chamber Annual Dinner attendees who would like to spend the night at MeadowView. The rate for hotel guest room only is $115. Reservations can be made by calling MeadowView at (423) 578-6600 and must be received on or before Friday, January 12.

Last year, more than 1,700 individuals attended the popular event, which remains the largest Chamber annual dinner in the nation. “The Kingsport Chamber Annual Dinner promises to once again live up to its billing as ‘Kingsport’s Social Event of the Year,’” said Kenny Lawrence, Kingsport Chamber Annual Dinner chair and WJHL News Channel 11/ ABC Tri-Cities president and general manager. “Last year was my first Annual Dinner and I was truly blown away by this incredible event. It’s a magnificent evening and a can’t miss event. Once again, the team at News Channel 11 and ABC Tri-Cities is truly honored and thrilled to serve as host for this affair…now for our nineteenth consecutive year.” The theme for this year’s event is “Celebrating The Kingsport Spirit!” “We are very excited Party on the Moon is back…we just keep a good thing going…or playing as the case may be,” Kingsport Chamber President & CEO Miles Burdine said. “Your Kingsport Chamber continues to be a soldout, highly anticipated event. We are most grateful to the superb support of our sponsors and the 1,700-plus individuals who attend. As our major fundraiser, this dinner is very important to us. We are very proud of this event and extremely grateful to all of those who support it each year."

By Alison Kuronen

P From outward appearances The Acoustic Coffeehouse doesn’t hold much to catch the eye. In fact, if you’re not looking carefully you’re likely to miss it. Nestled in the middle of West Walnut St. within walking distance of ETSU and the infamous Tree Streets, the first thing you truly notice is the art deco sign on the adjacent building, clinging to an era of peace, love, and well… much needed clean clothes in the 60’s.

ulling into the small row of parking spaces, you may start wondering if you’ve come to wash clothes or have a local brew. All of that changes once you’ve crossed through its front doors, as prepared or not my friend, down the rabbit hole you go. Quite suddenly and pleasantly you will find yourself whisked to a magical place where debate is the sport of the day, music is tangible, and the smells of fresh brewed coffee mixed with some of the most delectable treats and dishes envelope your senses. Crossing the front patio you are more likely to first be greeted by four legged friends than two legged ones; each of whom casually come over one by one to give you a nudge and a sniff of approval, only to flop back down in the shade to catch a nap while their humans enjoy a chat about Socrates, or the latest novel they’ve read, or their most recent white water rafting excursion. These four legged patrons bring about a sense of coming home even further as they find your arrival interesting, but not quite interesting enough to give up a lazy snooze on a hot summer day. At the Acoustic, everyone is welcome and everyone is equal. It matters not; young, old, rich, poor, polka dotted, purple, properly educated, or the scholar of travel and experience; you are genuinely accepted and welcomed upon arrival. Here you are

ICON continued on page 30

theloaferonline.com | January 9, 2018

The Death Of An Icon

Mayhem & Harmony

theloaferonline.com | January 9, 2018

Spring season of events at ETSU School of the Arts sows seeds of music, poetry, fun; traces quests, journeys

ayhem and poetry. Strings and keys. Visual art and health care. Polyphony and percussion. Children’s stories and the ravages of poverty and AIDS. A North Philadelphia creative sanctuary and three minutes

Mayhem

of terror. The season begins with a look Along the Horizon at Contemporary Drawing in Tennessee. This exhibition, curated by Andrew Ross and Vanessa Mayoraz of the ETSU Art & Design faculty, focuses on drawing as a useful medium for artists. The exhibition, displaying the work of 13 contemporary Tennessee artists, opens Jan. 16 at both Reece Museum and Slocumb Galleries and runs through mid-February. Highlighting the exhibition will be an artist panel discussion exploring the range and limits of the medium on Thursday, Feb. 15, at 5:30 p.m. in Ball Hall room 127. A reception in Reece Museum will follow at 7 p.m. On Tuesday, Feb. 6 at 7:30 p.m. in Martha Street Culp Auditorium, the School of the Arts will bring some merry mayhem to campus, in the form of three poets – The Mayhem Poets – who are on a mission to change the face of spokenword poetry. Using a blend of theater, improv, comedy and hip-hop – without the “gangsta” poses – The Mayhem Poets take audiences on what The New York Times calls “an amazing ride.” Their kinetic performances have been called “The

Simpsons meets Malcolm X at a Notorious B.I.G. concert.” “This will be a somewhat different approach to poetry than many people might expect,” says Anita DeAngelis, director of the Martin School of the Arts. “There will be a little bit theater, a little bit of slam poetry, a little bit of comedy and a lot of fun.” While The Mayhem Poets have their say verbally, activist/ artist Regina Holliday uses her artwork to speak volumes on the subject of access to medical records and its effects on health care and mortality. Holliday will share her personal and public journeys at ETSU on Thursday, Feb. 15, at 7 p.m. in Culp Auditorium as the visiting artist for the annual Evening of Health, Wellness and the Arts, sponsored by ETSU’s College of Public Health, Martin School of the Arts and Quillen College of Medicine. The event is free and open to the public. Harmony begins building as March opens, with a performance by the London-based a cappella group The Swingles on Thursday, March 1, at 7:30 p.m. in the Mary B. Martin Auditorium, Seeger Chapel, Milligan College. The fivetime Grammy-winning vocal ensemble has numerous film and TV soundtrack credits, including Sex and the City, Milk, Grey’s Anatomy, Glee and the December 2017 Matt Damon film Downsizing. Mid-March cues the percussion, Third Coast Percussion, to be exact, another Grammy winning group – on Thursday,

theloaferonline.com | January 9, 2018

Third Coast Percussion Photo by Saverio Truglia

March 22, at 7:30 p.m. in Science Hill High School Auditorium. Established in 2005 in Chicago, Third Coast Percussion is an artist-run quartet of four classically trained percussionists praised for their direct connection with the audience, elegance, wit and “inspirational sense of fun and curiosity,” says the Minnesota Star-Tribune. While in Johnson City, Third Coast will not only have a master class with ETSU music students, but also with SHHS percussionists. “Third Coast is so much fun and has so much talent,” DeAngelis says. “We are excited that they will be able to share their expertise with both ETSU and Science Hill students. The Martin School of the Arts loves to make those campus-community connections.”

“

We are known for our eclectic and diverse seasons, Spring 2018 is certainly no exception.” Anita DeAngelis, director of the Martin School of the Arts.

Some discordant notes join the chorus on April 9 as Martin School of the Arts screens Voices from Chernobyl, an award-winning film that documents the stories of the 1986 nuclear power plant disaster from the perspective of the people affected by it. Citizens and responders of all ages, reflect on the mystery of Chernobyl and the future in a now-dystopian landscape. The free screening on Monday, April 9, at 7 p.m. in Ball Hall 127, is part of ETSU’s Earth Month festivities. The season will crescendo Tuesday, April 17, with harmonious interplay between the Parker Quartet – yet another Grammy winner – and ETSU piano faculty member Dr. Esther Park. The concert will begin at 7:30 p.m. at Munsey Memorial United Methodist Church, Johnson City. Following a 2017 summer season that had the string ensemble crossing North America for appearances at music festivals in Maine, Colorado and Virginia, the Parker Quartet will begin its fourth year in-residence at Harvard University, as well as performing around the country. Pianist Park is a graduate of Yale’s School of Music, with a master’s and doctorate in Musical Arts. Spring 2018 at ETSU’s Martin School will also feature three additional films in the 2017-18 South Arts Southern Circuit Tour of Independent Filmmakers series – featuring animated and live personal journeys and suspenseful reflections. On Feb. 12, the combination of documentary and animated feature Liyana follows a young Swazi girl on her heroic trek to rescue her two young brothers. The vivid film uses the power of storytelling, to address the effects of poverty, alcohol and HIV/AIDS. On March 12, film-goers will meet a North Philadelphia family and share their joys and crises in the “eloquent” documentary Quest. Then, on April 16, the screeching strings, plunging knife, 78 camera set-ups and 52 edits of Hitchcock’s classic Psycho shower scene will be the focus of 78/52. At ETSU, all Southern Circuit films are free of charge and are followed by a catered light reception with the filmmakers, who also provide a talkback after each screening. All spring Southern Circuit films are on Mondays at 7 p.m. Liyana and Quest will be screened in ETSU’s Culp Auditorium, while 78/52 will screen in Ball Hall 127. For more information about ETSU’s Mary B. Martin School of the Arts or to purchase tickets, visit www.etsu.edu/martin or call 423-439-TKTS (8587). Follow the Martin School of the Arts @ artsatetsu and on Facebook.

theloaferonline.com | January 9, 2018

Annual Spring Expo Final Registration for Spring Arts Program

Do you have a child that is interested in art, music, dance, or film? Are you interested an art form and don’t know where to begin? Join the McKinney Center and Jonesborough’s Mary B. Martin Program for the Arts on January 13, 10am – 2pm for their annual Spring Expo.

“ T

The Expo is a way parents and students can meet our talented faculty and learn more about our classes.” McKinney Center Director, Theresa Hammons.

he annual Spring Expo provides a great opportunity to learn about the dozens of classes and workshops offered at the McKinney Center. Each faculty member will be set up at a table in the auditorium with information and examples of the classes they will be teaching this spring. Many of the instructors will be doing demonstrations, including clay, watercolor, bucket drums, guitar, and more. Hammons continues, “The expo is great way for potential students to learn more about the classes they are interested in, get to know the instructors, and test the waters. We hope that by coming to the Expo that you’ll meet our staff, tour the building, and feel at home here at the McKinney.” The last day to register for spring classes will be January 20, but registering as early as possible is highly encouraged as classes are filling up quickly. “We pride ourselves in having small classes so that each student receives personal attention. Over the past year we’ve seen a huge increase in enrollment. It’s great problem to have, but some of our classes are already full. So it’s important to register early,” states Hammons. Records show that since the fall of 2014, the student enrollment has increased by 170% and that Jonesborough’s Mary B. Martin Program for the Arts has provided arts education to nearly 1,000 individuals over the past three years. New to this season’s selections are: Let’s Make a TV Show: History Mysteries (Grades 3-6), Homeschool Beginning Guitar (Grades 5-9), Introduction to Art Journaling (Adults 18 and older).

Popular classes returning this season include: Kids N Clay (Grades 1 – 3), Young Potters (Grades 4 – 6), Hand-Building with Clay (Adult), Functional Pottery 101 (Adult), Art Adventures (Grades K-2), Creative Construction (Grades 3 – 6), Homeschool ArtTime (Grades K- 5), The Potter’s Wheel Series (Grades 7 – Adult), Studio Art (Grades 9 – Adult), Watercolors (Adult), Charcoal Portraits Grades 9 – Adult), Adventures in Drawing (Grades 9 – Adult), Bucket Drums (Grades 5 – Adult), and Hip Hop (Grades K – Adult). In addition, the McKinney Center is also offering ten different one-day workshops in which participants create a work of art in one session. These include glass fusion, beading, glaze workshops, paper art, Zen Tangle, and T-Shirt Rug making. This spring promises to be an exciting, artful adventure at the McKinney Center. Most classes begin the week of January 29. Registration may be completed at the McKinney Center Monday through Friday from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. or by mailing the registration form to The McKinney Center at 103 Franklin Avenue, Jonesborough, TN 37659. The Spring Expo will be held at the McKinney Center on Saturday, January 13, 10am – 2pm. Light refreshments will be served. The annual McKinney Center Spring Expo is free and open to the public. Find a complete catalog of classes at: mckinneycenter.com For more information, contact McKinney Center Director Theresa Hammons at 423-753-0562 or email at theresah@jonesboroughtn.org.

In Southwest Virginia

Uncle Shuffelo

theloaferonline.com | January 9, 2018

& His Haint Hollow Hootenanny

aturday, January 13th, 2018, at 7:30 p.m., the Carter Family Fold in Hiltons, Virginia will present a concert of old time music by Uncle Shuffelo and His Haint Hollow Hootenanny. Concert admission is $10 for adults, $2 for children 6 to 11, under age 6 free. Uncle Shuffelo and His Haint Hollow Hootenanny is a seven-piece, old-time string band from Rover, Tennessee, with musical influences by the Carter Family, Gid Tanner, Uncle Dave Macon, the Coon Creek Girls and many other old-time bands from year’s past. Band members emanate from the Williams and Derryberry Families. Uncle Shuffelo (Keith Williams) plays banjo. Austin Derryberry, age 19, plays fiddle, banjo, ukulele, guitar, and harmonica. Brian Derryberry plays upright bass. Conner Derryberry, age 11, plays the banjo, bones and spoons. Emma Jean Williams plays autoharp and jug. Megan Williams, age 22, plays washboard and kazoo. Courtney Williams, age 20, plays guitar, banjo, ukulele and tuba. Uncle Shuffelo and the Hootenanny have won many accolades including old-time band championships at the State of Tennessee Old–Time Fiddlers Convention, Tennessee Valley Fiddlers Convention and the Uncle Dave Macon Old-Time Music Festival. Their individual championships include Austin on oldtime fiddle, banjo, autoharp and old-time singing; Connor as the 2016 Double Fellowship Award recipient at the Uncle Dave Macon Old-Time Music Festival and Megan and Courtney for old-time singing. The distinctions for this band are too many to list. Please visit their website www.uncleshuffeo.com or their Facebook page www.facebook.com/Shuffelo/ for more information.

The Hootenanny plays old-time hillbilly music for the soul. Everyone in the family will enjoy a night of dancing and laughter. Bring your dancing shoes and all your friends and family for a carefree night in the place country music got its’ start – at the foot of the beautiful Clinch Mountains. The Carter Family Fold focuses on fun for the whole family. This concert will be the group’s fifth performance at the Fold. Their first one nearly brought the house down. The Hootenanny often attend services at Mount Vernon United Methodist Church in Hiltons following their concerts at the Fold. Check the group’s FaceBook page and the site for the church to be sure if you are interested in attending. In addition to being some of the finest old time musicians around, they’re also some of the nicest folks you’ll ever meet. Don’t miss them at the Carter Family Fold! For information, go to carterfamilyfold.com. For information on the upcoming Saturday show at the Fold, call 276-386-6054.

theloaferonline.com | January 9, 2018

Yes

So You Said

By Paul Kavanaugh

Maybe your beloved went down on one knee with a ring in hand; maybe it was on a scoreboard at halftime; maybe it was a waiter taking a cover off a dish and there the ring was. No matter how the proposal happened, you said yes. That might have been the easiest part! Now you have to plan your wedding. Welcome to the world of checklists and endless decisions!

es, that word: decisions. You’ll be facing so many that you can initially feel a little overwhelmed. Don’t fret, help is at hand. One of the most popular ways to acquire information (the key ingredient in decision-making) is to attend a Bridal Show. The one thing all Bridal Shows have in common is the availability of information. Many vendors and venues participate in the various shows in our region, all with options to fit many different budgets. So, attend a show - or several; talk with anyone and everyone; gather as much information as possible and start to get a better feel for what you want and what is possible. And no need to feel pressured; it is rare that you must make a decision on the spot – and not usually a good idea. Bridal Shows are first and foremost fact-finding missions. With free samples! Although the General Morgan Inn had their Something Blue Bridal Fair last weekend, you can still get a lot of information and a list of participating vendors by calling the hotel. Both The Pink Bride and The Tri Cities Bridal Show have ads in this issue. We recommend both to you. Elsewhere in our Bride Guide are advertisements for many vendors, venues/facilities, flowers, etc. We encourage you to visit as many as practicable. At these shows and visits, taking notes and getting contact information will make the whole process easier as decisions get made. One thing we cannot stress too much is that very early in the process you set a budget. Talk to whoever is involved in the finances – your intended naturally, parents, grandparents, future in-laws, etc. You must get an idea of what you can spend before you make any decisions - except for saying Yes! Keep a running spreadsheet or total page so you always know where you are financially. Finally, once you set a budget, stick with it. All those nice-to-haves are not as important as the need-to-haves, so keep that clear in your head. Oh, and good luck!

theloaferonline.com | January 9, 2018

Simple Elegance

Bridal Show

Soon-to-be married couples and their guests are invited to the Simple Elegance Bridal Show hosted by Simple Elegance Tennessee Photography on February 18 from 12:30 to 3:00 at the Jonesborough Visitors Center in Jonesborough TN.

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s always, we want the bridal show to be informative and fun, so we have activities that brides and grooms-to-be will find different from other bridal shows," said Mathew Wooten co-owner of Simple Elegance Tennessee. " At the show, brides will be able to finalize plans for their special day all in one place or just gather ideas. Many Tri-Cities preferred wedding vendors will be exhibiting their goods and servicesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; venues, bakers, caterers, photographers, DJs, and more. During the Simple Elegance Bridal Show, door prizes will be given to attendees. Every soon-to-be married couple will receive a giveaway tote that contains savings and gifts. Follow the Simple Elegance Bridal Show on Facebook and Instagram for more info about exhibitors, gifts, and prizes.

Do all things with love!

Tickets for the Simple Elegance Bridal Show are $6.00 at the door or guests can pre-register online at simpleelegancebridalshow. com to save $2.00 per person and double their chances to win the grand prize. More information about the show, including the latest list of participating vendors, is online at simpleelegancebridalshow. com or you can call 423.930.8215. The Simple Elegance Bridal Show is connecting couples with highly regarded local wedding professionals who are ready help make their wedding dreams come true while staying within their budget.

theloaferonline.com | March 28, 2017

theloaferonline.com | January 9, 2018

We know the bride knows just what to do. She’s been planning this wedding together since she could walk. This advice is not for the bride. It’s for you, the groom. Follow these Dos and Don’ts and your wedding day will be perfect.

19 Dos & Don’ts For the Groom 1

8 9

These must-have tips will see you seamlessly through your big day. And if all else fails, just remember: the bride is always right!

Have your bachelor party On your wedding day, have your best man deliver a gift or at least a week before flowers to your bride. Attach a special note to her. the wedding. Never have it the night before – it’s When travelling from the ceremony to the reception, unacceptable to greet your bride tell your new wife how beautiful she is and that you’re reeking of booze and with bloodfeeling like the luckiest man in the world. Don’t start up shot beer eyes. a conversation with the driver about the rugby score of the game you’ve just missed. Make sure your bride-toThe wedding photographs are very important to your bride be has plans on the night so don’t complain or make sarcastic comments if you feel of your bachelor party. they’re taking too long. Treat her and some close friends or her mum to an afternoon in the Don’t get drunk at your wedding – it’s unattractive and will spa, or book a table for them at her not go down well with your new wife or your in-laws. favorite restaurant and take care of the bill. Try not to spend most of the night at the bar with your mates – even if you haven’t seen some of them for years. If you’re going out of town for your bachelor party, let your bride know you have arrived at your destination safely. Give her a call the next morning to assure her you are alive and well, no matter how hung-over you are.

10 11 12

Your best man must not only organize your bachelor party, he must also look after you. Broken bones and shaved eyebrows are not allowed!

Get involved in the planning of the wedding – help with the guest list, the budget and the song list.

6 7

Remember your mother is not in charge of planning the wedding.

If you’re hiring a suit, collect it or have it delivered at least a day before the wedding. There are always unexpected delays and you cannot afford to be late on your wedding day.

In your wedding speech, never refer to your new wife as “bridezilla” or her mother as your “monster-in-law”. Compliment your bride, tell her how much you love her and thank her and her mum for all their hard work.

14 15 16 18

Make sure your DJ has been given a playlist – don’t pester him all night to play your favorite song. Leave your wedding before it finishes even though it’s the best party of your life Never, ever flirt with the bridesmaids. Don’t wear white socks with black shoes!

17 19

Ask your mother and your mother-in-law to dance. Whatever you do, just

DON’T BE LATE!!!

theloaferonline.com | January 9, 2018

Advice for Marriage

dvice for bride: don't expect your husband will change after marriage. For groom: don't expect your wife won't change!

On your wedding day, remember you can't buy happiness - but a luxury home and a few sports cars on the driveway could help! Advice for man: marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is... a husband! Advice for her: he stole your heart, so steal his last name! One piece of advice for a successful marriage; KEEP HER HAPPY! Advice for newlywed: you love each other because you hate the same stuff! Funny advice for both: the happiest people don't HAVE the best of everything, they just MAKE the best of everything. Funny marriage advice: marriage should not be about looking at each otherbut looking in the same direction! Advice for a husband: never laugh at wife's choices, because you are one of them! Don't sweat the small stuff on your wedding day - Your marriage has only just begun! Two things are necessary to keep a wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.

Keep calm! It's only a wedding...

Advice for husband: • If at first time you don't succeed - try doing it the way your wife told you! • Five magic words for a successful marriage: I'm sorry, it's my fault! • Advice from the wisdom of the ages: Happy Wife, Happy Life! • Marriage is a workshop where husband works and wife shops.

Festivals

Got an event coming up?

Events

Send it to The Loafer! info@theloaferonline.com

Concerts

Exhibits

By Paul Kavanaugh

The Crooked Road: Virginia’s Heritage Music Trail presents Logan Fritz in concert on Thursday, January 11th from 6:30 to 8:00 p.m. at Heartwood in Abingdon, VA. This concert is part of The Crooked Road Music Series at Heartwood.

Photo by: Chuck Sullins

ead out to West State Street this weekend, January 12th and 13th, for some awesome entertainment. Friday night at 10:00 sees Rebel Mountain hit the main stage. Rebel Mountain likes to say they’re not just a band, it's a state of mind. Listeners are able to visit a place where their inner outlaw can come out and feel like a part of the show. If you're looking for a place to leave it all behind and enjoy life, music, and the party, then come to Rebel Mountain. Sounds pretty intriguing, don’t you agree? Then on Saturday the popular band, 3.0, plays at 10:00. This group always attracts a crowd, and for good reason – great music. They keep you entertained and probably have you thinking about heading out to the dance floor. Why not? Dance like no one’s watching is my mantra! See you out there!

theloaferonline.com | January 9, 2018

Rebel Mountain and 3.0 This Weekend

Featured at Heartwood

ogan Fritz is a 19 year-old singer-songwriter from Abingdon, VA and frontman of the group Fritz & Company. He is influenced by a wide variety of genres including the rich musical heritage of our region. Logan blends eclectic influences such as the Carter Family, Jimmie Rodgers, and 60's era folk revival anthems to create a unique and personal sound in his music. The Crooked Road Music Series takes place each Thursday at Heartwood. The series features youth artists each 2nd Thursday along with open jams on the 1st, 3rd, 4th (and 5th) Thursdays to showcase Southwest Virginia performers. The Crooked Road Music Series is sponsored by Heartwood, Virginia Department of Housing and Community Development, Virginia Commission for the Arts and the National Endowment for the Arts. Heartwood - Southwest Virginia’s Artisan Gateway is located off I-81 at Exit 14 in Abingdon, VA, and features food, music, and craft of Southwest Virginia. As part of The Crooked Road's Thursday night live music, our restaurant features delicious southern BBQ to make for a food and music experience only Southwest Virginia can deliver. Admission to the concert is free and donations will be accepted for Crooked Road Traditional Music Education Program (TMEP). More information can be found at The Crooked Road website, www.thecrookedroad. org, and at www.heartwoodvirginia.org. For additional information, please call (276) 492-2409 or email: admin@thecrookedroad.org.

The Country Club Bar & Grill Presents

Logan Fritz

theloaferonline.com | January 9, 2018

Spotlight - TUESDAY - January 9 -

- FRIDAY - January 12 -

If you or your band are playing in the upcoming week and would like to be in The Spotlight, call in advance to (423) 283-4324 or go online to: theloaferonline.com. Due to last minute cancellations or changes, please call the location to confirm.

- SATURDAY - January 13 -

Guido Au’Some’s Variety Open Mic O’Mainnin’s Pub

Swamp Candy Bone Fire Smokehouse

Framing The Red O’Mainnin’s Pub

3.0 Country Club Bar & Grill

Stemwinder Rock’s Wood Fired Pizza & Grill

Ben Stalets Sleepy Owl Brewery

Sands & Hearn Bloom Cafe and Listening Room

Area 52 Woodstone Deli

Kids Our Age Kingsport YMCA

Hello October Quaker Steak & Lube

Quarter Bounce with Rusty Steel CJ’s Sports Bar

Johnny Come Quickly Wolf Hills Brewing

Sundown Band David Thompson’s Produce

EC Frazier Model City Tap House

Borderline Rush Street

Wyldeheart Holiday Inn

Railway Express Holston River Brewing Company

Syren Holston River Brewing Company

Rebel Mountain Country Club Bar & Grill

Junkyard Dogz Bears Bar

- WEDNESDAY -January 10 -

J Paul Riddle Wild Wing Cafe Open Mic The Willow Tree Coffeehouse & Music Room Blue Buds / Ida Low Bloom Cafe and Listening Room - THURSDAY - January 11 -

The No Nothings The Willow Tree Coffeehouse & Music Room Ryan Ward Wild Wing Cafe Jam w/ Ellis Waddell Wellington’s Restaurant Latrelle Sleepy Owl Brewery Laura Thurston O’Mainnin’s Pub The Tides Rock’s Wood Fired Pizza & Grill - FRIDAY - January 12 -

Jaystorm Project Wild Wing Cafe Shimmy & The Burns w/ Identikit Bloom Cafe and Listening Room James Meadows Quaker Steak & Lube Sammy Guns w/ Jesse Lewis Down Home

- SUNDAY -January 14 -

Vaden Landers & The Do Rights Bloom Cafe and Listening Room

Hillbilly Soul Woodstone Deli Bar Room Brawl CJ’s Sports Bar - SATURDAY - January 13 -

Grand Theft Audio Wild Wing Cafe

Hello October

Dropshot / American Dropouts Mass Driver Capone’s

Saturday, January 13 Quaker Steak & Lube

Eddie Self The Hideaway Shooter Band Elizabethton Moose Lodge The Matt Walsh Band Sleepy Owl Brewery Stone Creek 4 Kingsport Moose Lodge #972 Honey Badgers Bone Fire Smokehouse

Johnny come Quickly Friday, January 12 Wolf Hills Brewing

for show time & more details, visit

theloaferonline.com

Country Club Bar & Grill 3080 W State St Bristol 423-844-0400

Model City Tap House 324 E Market St. Kingsport 423-765-0875

Bear's Bar 4460 Highway 421 Bristol TN 423-502-1975

Holiday Inn (Exit 7) 3005 Linden Dr. Bristol VA 276-466-4100

Quaker Steak & Lube 629 State St. Bristol VA 276-644-9464

Bone Fire Smokehouse at the Hardware 260 W Main St Abingdon VA 276-623-0037

Holston River Brewing Company 2623 Volunteer Pkwy Bristol TN

Rock’s Wood Fired Pizza & Grill 3119 Bristol Hwy. Johnson City 423-262-0444

CJ’S Sports Bar 516 Morelock St. Kingsport 423-390-1361

Lakeview Marina 474 Lakeside Dock Drive Kingsport

TUESDAY

Karaoke w/ Crossroads & Josh Blevins at Dawg House Tavern Family Night Karaoke at CJ’s Sports Bar Karaoke w/ Marques at The Cave Karaoke at Numan’s ***********************

WEDNESDAY

Karaoke w/ Southern Sounds Karaoke at American Legion Karaoke at CJ’s Sports Bar Karaoke w/ DJ Brad & Top Shelf Entertainment at Quaker Steak & Lube

Sonny’s Marina & Café 109 One Street Gray, TN 423-282-9440

FRIDAY

Karaoke at Kingsport Moose Lodge Karaoke w/ Reverb Karaoke at The Cottage Turn the Page Karaoke at VFW Post 2108 - Johnson City TN Karaoke w/ Absolute Entertainment at Moe’s Original BBQ Karaoke w/ Toddzilla at Sportsmans Pub Karaoke w/ DJ Brad & Top Shelf Entertainment at BoBo’s - Damascus VA Karaoke at Elizabethton VFW

Karaoke w/ Absolute Entertainment at Smokey Bones - Johnson City TN

Karaoke w/ DJ Marquez & Top Shelf Entertainment at Holiday Inn (Exit 7) - Bristol VA

Turn the Page Karaoke at VFW Post 2108 - Johnson City TN ***********************

Karaoke at Numan’s ***********************

THURSDAY

Karaoke w/ Absolute Entertainment at Macado’s - Kingsport

SATURDAY

Karaoke at The Horseshoe Lounge

Karaoke at CJ’s Sports Bar

Karaoke w/ Toddzilla at Sportsmans Pub

Karaoke at Numan’s

Karaoke at Kingsport Moose Lodge

Karaoke w/ Absolute Entertainment at New Beginning’s

Turn the Page Karaoke at VFW Post 2108 - Johnson City TN

Karaoke at Jiggy Rays Pizzaria ***********************

Karaoke w/ Absolute Entertainment at Macado’s - Kingsport

Karaoke w/ Southern Sounds Karaoke at Sportsman’s Bar & Grill

Karaoke at Numan’s ***********************

FRIDAY

Karaoke w/ Shane Rouse at Bear’s Bar

19 theloaferonline.com | January 9, 2018

SPOTLIGHT DIRECTORY

KARAOKE

Acoustic Coffeehouse 415 W Walnut St. Johnson City 423-434-9872

theloaferonline.com | January 9, 2018

Really Far Out Visit To Titan and Shangri-La

Come with me to an alien world called Titan and its mysterious ice dunes in a place called Shangi-La, first seen by…human eyes on Jan. 14, 2005.

S Stargazer

By Mark Marquette since 1996 stargazermarq@ gmail.com

aturn’s planet-sized moon was analyzed in detail by NASA’s Cassini spacecraft, making more than 120 passes of Titan before the mission’s end with a suicide dive into the planet in September 2017. There is an incredible system of lakes that remind planetary scientists of Minnesota, the land of 1,000 lakes. With one strange twist…the lakes and rivers are fluid methane and ethane, gases on Earth but liquids at minus -250 F. degrees below zero! The world of Titan is wet and wild, hidden in its own organic, orange smog of nitrogen that has tantalized astronomers for 100 years. Orbiting 400,000 miles outside the phenomenal rings of Saturn, Titan was discovered by Dutch astronomer Christian Huygens in 1655 with four-inch reflector telescope he made. Today, any backyard telescope will show the giant moon as a tiny star. Whipping around Saturn in just over 15 days, it was soon determined that Titan was 3,200 miles wide and just a few hundred miles smaller than the biggest moon in the Solar System, Jupiter’s frozen world Ganymede. Both moons are larger than planet Mercury and former planet Pluto. Since the 1920s when technology allowed telescopes to analyze atmospheres of the planets and moons in our Solar System, Titan has been a big mystery and the target of all interplanetary dreams. It is the only moon with a substantial atmosphere and only one like the Earth with stable liquids on the surface. So intrigued have been astronomers to see beneath the clouds of Titan that in 1980 the Voyager 1 spacecraft was diverted by Saturn’s gravity to the moon, though that made it impossible for a flyby of Uranus and Neptune, like it’s twin Voyager 2 did in the mid-1980s. Nothing was revealed of the surface because of the global shroud, a big disappointment and a mistake to fly there in hindsight despite the surprise discovery mostly hydrogen, like Earth, in its atmosphere. More images and data of Uranus and Neptune to compliment those of Voyager 2 would have had more scientific value. NASA’s $2 billion Cassini changed all that. Before orbiting Saturn in 2004, the probe ejected toward Titan a small lander called Huygens. As it floated under a parachute, Huygens imaged lakes and rivers in a shocking revelation of liquid methane and ethane on the surface. The tire-sized robot set down on the edge of a lake, its heat melting the frozen methane as it nestled. Huygens took a series of photos showing a landscape of round, eroded rocks and analyzed the atmosphere. After 90 minutes, its batteries died and it remains on the surface of Titan. As the science platform Cassini orbited Saturn once every 100 days or so, it made close passes by some of the planet’s 60 plus moons, including Titan. In 13 years, it made 127 close encounters with the large moon, and its special infrared radar that penetrated the dense clouds. So, a very detailed map of the surface of Titan has been created by the Cassini team. That globe looks very much like Earth, except the incredible freezing temperatures of down to minus -290 F. degrees below zero. Locked in rotation with one side always facing Saturn, the ringed world would be huge in the Titan sky covering two outstretched human hand-spans! Titan has become a real world with features named after exotic places, like the bright terrain of Xanadu and the pure methane sea Mare Ligeia. And a vast area of wind-blown dunes in a mysterious region called Shangra-La, where the Huygens probe landed on the shores of a small methane lake. There are few impact craters visible on Titan, evidence that the surface is actively being changed by the weather dynamics.

Titan’s methane liquid lakes and rivers with deltas are mostly in the northern hemisphere, creating a global climate with seasonal weather patterns that are barely understood. There are even “cryovolcanoes” of active liquid eruptions bringing water and ammonia from the interior to the surface. Buckling of tectonic plates has created mountain ranges like on Earth, though they are just a mile high or so. Titan’s surface is very diverse and complex, maybe rivaling Earth in its complexities. The clouds of nitrogen are 150 miles thick, and are tinted orange from sunlight interacting with the ammonia and methane, creating a dozen organic, carbonbased compounds that mimic models of Earth’s primitive atmosphere. And that is tantalizing for possible life. What could exist in rivers of flowing methane? Is there something growing in the rains of ethane over rocky mountain ranges? For sure NASA dreamers have Titan missions in their future plans, hopefully to land and analyze the landscape. And possibly stumble across a living organism or two in that frozen alien landscape. All the images of Titan, Saturn, its rings and other moons are available for viewing at the official Cassini website—Cassini Imaging Central Library for Operations, www.ciclops.org. The imagery is breathtaking and worth the time to surf around what astronomers know about amazing Saturn.

t’s the dead of winter…but cheer up! Days are getting longer about a minute each day. New Moon is next Tuesday, so this week the evenings are filled with the fabulous stars of winter. If you brave the cold for even 15 minutes, you will be treated to the dazzling stars of hunter Orion with his two hunting dogs to his left, the Big and Little Dogs. The bull, Taurus, is above and brothers Gemini are to its left. Also this week are several important manned and unmanned space missions..

Tuesday, January 9 In 1968, unmanned Surveyor 7 lands on the Moon near the young crater Tycho, who’s rays are visible during Full Moon. In 1990, Space Shuttle Columbia was launched. This busy 12-day mission included retrieval of Long Duration Exposure Facility, deployment of two communications satellites and another half-dozen experiments conducted by the crew of five. Wednesday, January 10 The Moon was very much on military minds as early as 1946 when on this date of that year the U.S Army bounced a radar signal off the Moon and received it after a one-second round trip. Astronomers had a new way to measure the distance, and the military had something new to play with. Thursday, January 11 On this 1978 date in space history, Soyuz 27 docked to the Salyut 6 space station with Soyuz 26 attached— the first triple docking in space, clearly making the Soviet Union the leader of technology for long-term human spaceflight. In 1996, Space Shuttle Endeavour was launched with six astronauts. They spent 10 days in orbit retrieving the Japanese microgravity

research spacecraft called Space Flyer Unit, and conducted research inside the mid-deck. In 1998, Lunar Prospector orbited the Moon, two months later finding frozen water beneath the lunar poles— one of its goals.

second flight). In 1993, Endeavour was launched with five astronauts spending five days in orbit deploying the fifth Tracking and Data Relay Satellite and testing space suits and working tools in the cargo bay for construction of the International Space Station.

Friday, January 12 In 1986, the 24th Shuttle mission had Columbia deploy a Ku-1 communications satellite for RCA and do material science experiments for six days. The seven-man crew included citizen passenger US House Representative Bill Nelson, who’s district included Cape Canaveral, and future NASA administrator pilot Charles Bolden. This was the last Shuttle flight before the fatal Challenger launch explosion on Jan. 28th. Launched in 1997 was Shuttle Atlantis with a six-person crew that docked with the Russian space station MIR. Jerry Linenger, replaced John Blaha on a four-month rotation of American astronauts aboard the foreign spaceship.

Sunday, January 14 On this 2005 date in space history NASA landed a tiny space probe on the alien moon Titan orbiting the planet Saturn. Ejected from the $1 billion Cassini spaceship in orbit about Saturn, the probe Huygens parachuted while taking photos of flowing methane rivers before landing on the shore of a small lake. It sent back data and photos for about an hour in the minus -200 F. degrees below zero surface.

Saturday, January 13 In 1978 NASA announced first six female astronauts Sally Ride, Rhea Seddon, Judy Resnick, Kathryn Sullivan, Shannon Lucid and Anna Fisher—all flew in space (Resnick died in the Challenger accident, her

Monday, January 15 In 1973 Luna 21 lands on the Moon a 40-mile-wide crater called Le Monnier. It deployed a complex rover, Lunokhod 2, that drove 23 miles, sending back more than 80,000 television images. The brightest star in the sky, Sirius, is high above the eastern horizon by 9 pm, and above it is another bright star, Procyon. They are the brightest stars in the Big and Little Dogs, Canis Major and Minor.

21 theloaferonline.com | January 9, 2018

THIS WEEK

SKIES

Celestial events in the skies for the week of Jan. 9-15, 2018 as compiled for The Loafer by Mark D. Marquette.

theloaferonline.com | January 9, 2018

Opens on Volunteer Parkway By Paul Kavanaugh

I Caramel Pecan Popcorn w/ Avery Warm Ooze

t’s one of those classic American stories. Two long-time friends are winding down their first careers and get together to fulfill a mutual life-long dream – open a small business. In this case, the two friends are Dawn Fleenor and Keith Kleinhans. The small business they decided to open: Cornucopia, a gourmet popcorn shop conveniently located on Volunteer Parkway in Bristol. It is at the same light you use to turn into Walmart, but on the other side of the Parkway.

When I visited them last week, they had 50 flavors of Popcorn available, with more in the testing stages constantly. I tried three, one of them their newest flavor, Bacon BBQ. Unbelievable how accurate they get these flavors; it was delicious. Then I gave Candy One and Maple Butter a try. Both are on the sweet side obviously, but quite good. I am a bit of a sucker for sweet popcorn, so this was a double treat. Dawn and Keith are proving to be quite adept at this popcorn thing. Not where either would have predicted even in the not so distant past. Dawn was winding down her career in healthcare as Keith was doing the same in the automotive field. They started talking about what’s next, agreeing that it needed to be different and unusual, maybe even nostalgic. Funny how things work – they decided on the popcorn business and scouted around for the right location – someplace convenient with ample parking. It took a while, but once they found their current spot, they got to work. That was in September. In just four months they created their space, learned how to make popcorn, got their equipment in, up and running and all the myriad tasks associated with opening a new business. Now they have a nice store where you can get old time sodas, many varieties of candy, gift baskets and more. Not to mention the popcorn. Oh, by the way, they have regular ole popcorn too. In four different size bags! Stop by and check out Cornucopia. You can’t help but be mesmerized by all the flavors – I was. Cornucopia Gourmet Popcorn – 2137 Volunteer Parkway – 423-574-CORN(2676)

23 theloaferonline.com | January 9, 2018

Cornucopia

CanYouThinkofaBetter Name for a Gourmet Popcorn Shop?

theloaferonline.com | Decem ber 5 2017

Even More of

The Monkees By Winter of 1966 into ’67, America was in the grips of Monkeemania. What began life as a TV version of “A Hard Day’s Night” had exploded into a full fledged phenomenon. There was “The Monkees.” The groundbreaking, subversive TV series spearheaded by Bob Rafelson & Bert Schneider, staring four young actors/musicians—Mike Nesmith, Davy Jones, Peter Tork, and Micky Dolenz. But there was also The Monkees, the musical side to this that had, right along with the TV series, exploded into the top of the charts with their debut single “Last Train to Clarksville.”

Batteries Not Included

By Andy Ross aross@ theloaferonline.com

n the months leading up to the show’s debut, the musical side was largely looked at as just making a soundtrack album. Headed by label head Don Kirshner—who had an ego the size of Texas and then some—Kirshner saw his chance to mold The Monkees into being “bigger than The Beatles” and he succeeded. But every single part of The Monkees’ saga can be pointed to one event has the incident that changed everything. The release of their second album on January 9, 1967—“More Of The Monkees.” The Monkees themselves were in the middle of a grueling schedule, making a TV series by day, recording albums by night. Kirshner’s idea of making pop records was to overload and then pair it all down to a record—a staggering 34 songs were recored for “More of The Monkees”—which only has 12 songs on it. Though The Monkees had grown uncomfortable with the image of “this is a band” and not “this is a soundtrack” that had been presented to the world—all four of them were from musical backgrounds, and Nesmith is one of the great innovators of Country Rock. Even the show’s producers were concerned with how much they were increasingly being cut-out of the music side’s production. The Monkees weren't even told their second album was out, they found out on tour when a member of their production staff went into a J.C. Penney’s and saw it for sale. The Monkees rebelled. Demanding creative control over their music output, Kirshner balked and had the attitude of “You signed a contract. Sing the songs, take the money, be quiet.” But they didn’t just do that. They wanted to be in control as the music sales soon surged beyond the ratings of the TV show—and in perhaps the only time in history—the producers in charge of the series sided with them. But as they took control of their music and fate into their own hands, “More of The Monkees” would become the band’s biggest selling album—staying at number one on the Billboard charts for a staggering 18 weeks! The album’s lead single “I’m a Believer” went Gold before it was released thanks to 1,051,280 advanced orders. “More of the Monkees” is a perfectly fine record—though their best stuff would come later, now that they had control of the music. It’s also an album I have a soft spot for—it was the first Monkees album I ever owned. I was 12 years old and wanted to get a song I heard on the show that wasn’t on

the greatest hits package. Even some 30 years later, the TV show was still selling records (which is how Monkeemania 2.0 began in 1986 when MTV aired the show and caused a whole new generation to fall in love with The Monkees). The arguments of The Monkees band or not have been long set aside and put to bed. They are a beloved band and the one thing I have bonded with more people over than anything else. You know who else loves The Monkees? Rhino Records, who for the last decade or so have been doing amazing reissues of the band’s catalog—the newest is a gloriously over the top, three CD box “super deluxe” edition of “More of The Monkees.” This box set version of the album comes with an overwhelming (in a good way) 93 tracks, and is limited to just 4,500 copies. I own this album in several forms. There’s the CD issue from the mid ‘90s I’ve had since I was 12, Rhino’s 2006 two-disc deluxe edition—with the both the album’s stereo and mono mixes, plus bonus tracks—and an original vinyl from 1967. Without question, this is the finest release of the album yet. New remasters of both the mono and stereo mixes are included—both sound the best they ever have on a CD release of the album—especially the Mono mix, which has so much more punch and presence than it did on the 2006 release. Almost all of the 34 songs recored for the album are included, and nearly every single track on the album has a new stereo re-mix made in 2017—at the time the final stereo mixes were usually a generation or two away from the original master tapes due to the limitations of four track recording technology at the time—these new remixes, from my understanding—take the generation gap away and provide a nice, brighter version of the songs than what was on par with stereo mixing of the mid 1960s. The highlight of this box full of highlights, are the earliest known recordings of The Monkees’ live—playing together—and yes it is them playing—in Arizona in 1967. Nesmith kicks off the concert by saying “We hope this will disprove some rumors.” This is an amazing collection, and a must own for a Monkees die-hard like me. A band who got so much crap for decades, it’s nice to see that their catalog has received about the best treatment of any band’s could have with these lavish, box set editions. See you next week.

theloaferonline.com | January 9, 2018

The Greatest Showman

I love a good musical film. I'll admit there are several musicals I favor over others, with three of my favorites being "Hairspray", "Burlesque" and "Rock of Ages". I have probably seen "The Sound of Music" more times than any musical, with "The Wizard of OZ" running a close second.

A Pop Life

By Ken Silvers ksilvers@ theloaferonline.com

Rated PG 3 1/2 Circus Rents (out of 4)

dding to the list of musicals I admire is the new film "The Greatest Showman", starring Hugh Jackman as P.T. Barnum, the founder of the Barnum & Bailey Circus. The film is inspired by Barnum's life, and does not claim to be a totally accurate in all aspects of life. The film begins with the depiction of the young Barnum's life with his tailor father. After a family tragedy, Barnum is left homeless to wonder the streets, until he eventually finds a job with a shipping company. During his teens, Barnum meets Charity, the daughter of the man Barnum's father works for. It's love at first sight for the duo, and years later they are married and live in a humble New York City apartment, quite a come down for the wealthy Charity (Michelle Williams). After Barnum is laid off from his job with the shipping company, he eventually has the bright idea to open Barnum's American Museum in downtown Manhattan, but after the museum fails to attract crowds, Barnum is forced to come up with a new idea for his museum, and thanks to an idea from his daughters to have "alive" attractions, he begins a search for "freaks" (those with abnormalities or special abilities) to showcase. He is successful in rounding up his special people, and changes the name of his museum to Barnum's Circus, after a harsh critic calls the show as such. In an effort to improve his reputation with the upper class, he manages to recruit playwright Phillip Carlyle (Zac Efron) to join his business. After the team up, the cast of Barnum's Circus is able to meet Queen Victoria

in England, and while there Barnum recruits European singer Jenny Lind (Rebecca Ferguson) to tour America with him. As the film progresses, there are conflicts in Barnum's marriage, a romance between Carlyle and troupe performer Anne Wheeler (Zendaya), the circus tents which replaced the museum, and threats from certain groups of citizens who want the 'freak" show shut down. In between all the action and drama, plenty of splendid songs are featured, including my personal favorites "This Is Me" and "From Now On." All the numbers, except the ballads, are toe tapping, and I found myself tapping my foot in time with many of the songs. The performers are all wonderful, and Jackman, as usual, is a powerful lead. However, Efron, no stranger to musicals himself (the aforementioned "Hairspray") more than holds his own along side his powerhouse co-star. Williams is also effective and sweet in her role as Barnum's wife, which I'm sure was no easy task for his real life wife. With all the star power on hand, the supporting cast is still able to shine, and Zendaya is perfectly cast as a circus acrobat. Many critics have slammed the film for taking too much artistic license, but to me that is being a bit nit picky for a film that simply wants to entertain us and leave a smile on our face just like the real Barnum wanted for his audiences. If you desire to see a feel good movie filled with wonderful songs and sets, then "The Greatest Showman" is your ticket to an enjoyable time at the theater.

theloaferonline.com | January 9, 2018

Winter Hiking Tips Now that we are headed full speed into the winter months, we thought it would be good to send out the next installment of our hiking tips guide, Winter Safety Tips.

any people love to hike during the winter months because the temperatures are cooler and less of those pesky bugs like ticks and mosquitoes. But along with the good fortunes, comes the not so good ones. During the winter months, we have things like snow and ice that we must watch for, especially in those higher elevations. There is less hours of daylight to hike so it is easier to get trapped in the dark if you don’t time your hike correctly. So here are a few things we put together to help out during the winter months:

Appalachian Wanderers

By Jason & Daniel Worley jdworley@ theloaferonline.com

Clothing – One of the most important things to think about during winter hiking is what you are wearing. Unlike summer hiking, the weather during winter hikes can be much more severe. Let’s start with the feet. You want to keep your feet and toes warm since after all, they are carrying you the whole hike. Some thick insulated thermal socks are best and cover them with some waterproof insulated boots. We always recommend waterproof boots during the winter because you never know when you may run into snow while hiking and snow quickly turns into water when walking through it. For pants, we recommend hard shell pants that are waterproof and windproof with full length zippers along the sides. Try to find a wool or synthetic base layer, something like long sleeve jersey and long underwear (thermal). We recommend staying away from cotton as it absorbs sweat and water and will make your body chill. A puffy insulated hooded wither jacket is great to have. This will help to keep in the body heat you generate and keep the wind away from you. If you don’t have a hooded coat, make sure to cover your head and ears. You will also want to have a warm pair of gloves to wear and keep your hands and fingers out of the cold. The 10 essentials – Always remember to carry the 10 essentials with you no matter what season you are hiking in. We have covered these in past editions, but these have since been updated from the “Classic 10 Essentials” to the “Ten Essential Systems”. Here they are: Navigation (map and compass), sun protection (sunglasses and sunscreen), insulation (extra clothing), illumination (headlamp and flashlight), first-aid supplies, fire (waterproof matches/lighter/candles), repair kit and tools, nutrition (extra food), hydration (extra water)

and know where an emergency shelter is or pack one to take (tent, tarp something to cover with). These items will help to keep you safe in the event of something happening while you are in the woods. Weather – Winter hiking is just like any other season with Mother Nature. She can change her mind at any moment without notice. During the winter months, rain will be much, much colder and if you are in elevation, will turn to snow and ice. Many people think that hiking in a snowfall is better than when it is raining because its not just waterdrops falling getting you wet. What many forget is that when the snow hits your clothing and the heat you are generating from hiking, it will melt on you. You will still get wet snow hiking. If the snow is accumulating on the ground, it can cause issues for you hiking as you can’t see the trail. When this happens, you could wander off the trail, step on larger rocks and twist your ankle, even walk through water and soak your boots and feet. It is always good to use snow approved hiking boots and hiking poles when hiking in the snow. If you encounter an area where the ice has covered your path, it is always better to find a safe passage around or turn around. Ice isn’t your friend while hiking and can cause serious injury. If you are hiking near or along rocky walls that has ice hanging from them, move away and do not walk under them. Sometimes these massive ice-cycles can grow to 20+ pounds and when they fall, it is like a 20-pound spear coming straight down toward you. So always make sure you check the current weather conditions around your trail and future forecast if you plan to take a few hours. Bring a friend – We always recommend taking a friend along and not hiking alone no matter the season, but during the winter months, we especially stress not hiking alone. Winter hiking takes so much more energy due to the additional layers of clothing, more supplies, walking through the snow, and because of this, you need someone there to help you. You should also always let someone that isn’t going on the hike know where you are hiking at. This is in case there is an emergency, someone knows where you are and where to look. Too many times hikers run into situations where they are injured or lost and can’t make their way back out of the mountains and no one knows where they were hiking to look for them. So, get out there and enjoy the trails in this cooler weather and take in some of nature’s beautiful landscapes during the winter months. Make sure to take along a camera because you will see some breathtaking photo opportunities. Safe hiking and see you on the trails!

Spencer-Miller Series Arts Array Concert provided by VHCC The Washington (DC) Saxophone Quartet—Sunday January 14th 2018 Sinking Spring Presbyterian Church, East Main Street, Abingdon VA-3:00

he saxophone is a relatively new instrument, invented in about 1840. Adolphe Sax, the Belgian inventor, conceived it actually as a family of instruments, from highest to lowest, much like a choir of voices. And like the human voice, it has the flexibility to create a wide range of sounds, from brassy trumpets to warm winds and strings. And, a quartet of saxophones – soprano, alto, tenor, baritone – can even sound like an organ. The Washington Saxophone Quartet takes full advantage of all that by performing music in virtually all periods of music, from the renaissance to the contemporary … J. S. Bach to Leonard Bernstein...from Archangelo Corelli to Duke Ellington and everything in between. The possibilities for repertoire are almost limitless! The Washington Saxophone Quartet will guide you along with commentary and insight into the music. It should be fun and a delightful and memorable experience.

ppalachian mystery writer 27 Bev Freeman of Unicoi will be the featured speaker at Gray Library's Author Talk on Jan. 16. Bev was born in Virginia, and moved with her family to Florida as a teen. In 1993 she moved back to the region, and started seriously pursuing her writing career about 15 years ago. She has published two novels in the Madison McKenzie Files trilogy: Silence of the Bones (2016) and Where Lady Slippers Grow (2017). Bev is currently working on the third book in her series, which should be published later this year. Freeman enjoys writing stories of unique characters set in the Southern Appalachian Mountains, weaving local history and legends into her tapestry of words. In her spare time, she and her husband Bill enjoy touring the backroads of the Blue Ridge and the Smoky Mountains on their motorcycle. Everyone is invited to come to the 6 p.m. event, where they can learn more about the author, ask questions, and purchase her books if they wish. For more information, call the library at 477-1550. theloaferonline.com | January 9, 2018

Arts Array Concert

Local mystery writer at Gray Library

Spencer-Miller Series

theloaferonline.com | January 9, 2018

Cory Martin: The Interview

One of my favorite things about living in our region is meeting people and making new friends. The unique twist of living here for my entire life is when I get to meet someone else who has lived here too and figuring out how many friends and/or family members we have in common. I met Cory Martin at a Kingsport Chamber event a year or so ago and the common roots for us run so deep there was an instant kinship. This guy is a solid, dependable family man with honest Christian faith. Take a minute to meet a true Mountain Mover!

BRIAN: Cory, thanks for taking time to do this interview, I know you have been really busy with work but we will get to that. For now, let’s start at the beginning. Tell folks where you grew up and what that time in your life was like. CORY: I was born and raised in Kingsport. We lived in the Midfields area until I was 12 years old. These were some of the best times of my life. There were several kids in our neighborhood that would get together after school everyday and play. We would play anything from wiffleball, football, basketball, capture the flag, army, etc…it was awesome. The cool thing about it is that we are still a very close group of friends who get together frequently, and now we get to watch our kids play together just as we did.

Mountain Movers

By Brian Bishop bbishop@ theloaferonline.com

BRIAN: This area and the people here are truly one of a kind. What is it about this region and these people you love the most? CORY: I love the people here. I believe that life is all about developing and cultivating relationships. I love being able to go to the grocery store or to the mall and see people from school or church. This area is the perfect size. We have lived in larger cities like Nashville and Houston. Those areas are very nice but there is nothing like home. Plus, we have Pal’s here! BRIAN: Family is an integral part of our culture here. How important is family to you in your daily life? CORY: Family is so important. I have an amazing family. My wife, Carrie, and our 2 kids are my life. It’s pretty cool to be able to watch your kids and to see yourself in them. One of my favorite things in the world is being a daddy. I love being a daddy. My mom, dad, and brother are also a very important part of my life. They have influenced me in a lot of ways. Growing up I always wanted to be like my brother. If you met him, you would know why. He is a pretty cool dude. I’ve got a lot of aunts, uncles, and cousins also…they are all very special to me. Another thing that I am thankful for are my friends. I feel like I have the best group of friends in the world. They are like family to me. BRIAN: Religion is deeply engrained in our regional culture and I know God means a lot to you personally. How does your faith impact daily life? CORY: I was saved when I was 15 years old. Ever since then, I have had the assurance of knowing that when my name is called, I will spend eternity in heaven. That type of peace is hard to explain in just a few sentences. But what I can tell you is that I have had many ups and many downs in this life…but one thing that has remained constant is Jesus’s love for me. He has never given up on me. His love is unconditional. One of the most influential people in my life was my Popaw Dan Lewis. He was a great man of faith. After he passed, I realized what it meant to keep the faith and finish the race. BRIAN: Last but not least, for those who do not know, you own an award winning business that is growing by leaps and bounds. Tell us about C&C Restoration and how folks can learn more. CORY: C&C Restoration Inc specializes in the restoration of both residential and commercial buildings that have been damaged by water or flood. 2017 was a great year and we are very thankful for all of the love and support from the community. Also, our team of professional employees is the backbone of what we do and I want to say thank you to them for all of their hard work and dedication. It was a great honor and a special moment to win the KOSBE small business excellence award. I couldn’t do what I do without the support of my family. In 2018, we are looking to grow the business by adding an additional service. We will be encapsulating and sealing crawl spaces. As far as getting ahold of us, people can call me directly at (423)525-1947 if they have an urgent need regarding water damage. For more information about our company, please visit our website at www.ccrestorationservices.com

Headline Holston River Brewing’s Weekend

By Paul Kavanaugh

eeping up with their promise to bring good music to the Brewery, this weekend sees two very entertaining bands on the main stage. Railway Express is up on Friday night, January 12th at 8:30 with their unique blend of southern rock-countryblues-to bluegrass. This band was the winner in 2016 of the Best of Bristol Band award. They credit Little Big Town, AC/ DC, George Strait, Elvis Presley, Hank Williams Jr., George Jones, and the Kentucky Headhunters as their main influences. I don’t know about you, but that seems like a great list to be taking your lead from! Saturday night, January 13th sees a return visit from Syren. This is the band that simply says: “We come to bring the Rock!” Quite the simple statement but boy, are they right. Whitney Collins is the voice behind the great vocals and she is joined by Jesse PitcockGuitar & Vocals, Brian FosterGuitar, Todd Mccoury- Bass and Chris Ritchie on Drums. Always an entertaining, high energy show, this should make for a great way to spend Saturday night.

LEGO Club

oin Nick for the LEGO Club on Thursday, January 18th @ 5:00 pm at the Jonesborough Library. Our theme this month is ‘Star Wars’ and a LEGO movie will be shown during build time. Please bring your own bricks to build with! This program is free of charge; healthy snacks and drinks will be provided. If you have any questions, please call the Jonesborough Library at 753-1800. We are currently taking donations of LEGO bricks for the Jonesborough Library LEGO Club. We thank you for your support! Sponsored by the Washington County Friends of the Library.

theloaferonline.com | January 9, 2018

Railway Express & Syren

theloaferonline.com | January 9, 2018

30 ICON continued from page 4 treated more as an old friend who has just returned from a long journey rather than a stranger, and all here appear to be awaiting the news of your travels and are eager to share theirs as well. Time seems to stop at the Acoustic and it appears to no longer hold value in this magical place. Music, not the kind incessantly being pumped through the airways nowadays; but real, living, breathing music created by local artists fills your senses as you make your way to the wooden bar and the friendly staff there to greet you. Depending on the time you pop in you may be treated to poetry readings, slow strumming of a guitar by a local musician honing his skills, a riveting debate, or just a quiet reading session and the slow sipping of coffee between pages. Even the simplest of foods at the Acoustic are done with love, flair and art. A grilled cheese sandwich transforms from something bland your mother fed you when she didn’t feel like mussing in the kitchen, to a gourmet sandwich filled with organic cheeses (of course there’s never just one type of cheese), served on the finest of thick hearty toast, crisped to perfection with real fresh butter. Fresh, wholesome ingredients can be found in every bite no matter the dish, and everything is made with love by the friendly staff, who in their own right are just as eclectic, talented, and artistic as the patrons who frequent the Acoustic. On certain nights, laughter spills from its’ humble doors out into the streets as local comedians try their hat in standup comedy. The Acoustic for many years has been the place where local musicians, artists, writers, and the like have all come to congregate and encourage each other in pursuing their dreams. A gathering place for the minds in the community that think outside the box, who might not

fit into the norm so to speak, but are so vital to a healthy, whole, intellectually rich community. If you’re not the indoors type you can make your way to the infamous back door that leads to Next Door, which almost seems secret and magical in and of itself. Soon you will find yourself emerging onto a beautiful terrace complete with trees (not planted, growing as they originally stood and should), picnic tables, umbrellas, and well, more music, art, and good conversation over a local brew as the Southern sun streams through the leaves onto the mismatched bricks that make up the patio as sparks of imagination ping from brilliant mind to brilliant mind. The Acoustic Coffeehouse has been an iconic figure in the downtown Johnson City area for as long as I can remember. It was one of the first places I was taken to when I moved here from California and has held a special place in my heart since the first day I crossed its threshold. Seeing it close its doors as we begin the New Year, one can only hope that the wonderful staff and patrons of this magical place will find a new place to meet and thrive, outside the proverbial box, where music floats through the air, intellectual debate is once again the sport of the day, laughter spills out onto the streets, and four legged friends can laze in the sun. To the end of a wonderful era in Johnson City and the unfortunate death of an icon, I bid you farewell.

• Bristol Station Brews & Taproom Half off first pint or flight • Broad Street on State 20% off your check of $6 or more • Stateline Bar & Grille 2 for 1 Appetizers • Studio Brew 1/2 Half off first pint Free Appetizer or dessert w/Entrée Purchase • Machiavelli’s Free order of breadsticks with any entrée • Whiskey Rebellion Half off your appetizer • J Frank Free dessert and immediate parking Discounts valid for any and all performances at The Paramount.

theloaferonline.com | January 9, 2018

Discounts available with ticket stub day of performance

By Langley Shazor Follow Langley at TheCasualWord

Ergo adrenaline Forces cerebrums to capitulate Shattered barriers Materialize into the natural order Human condition Builds success Upon a succession of destruction Thus We continue perpetuating Temporary boundaries

Paramount Partners

The Casual Word

Postulation The presence of exception Being the catalyst For circumventing Rules and regulations To usurp authority Paving bold pathways Uncharted Precipitous

theloaferonline.com

Predilections

theloaferonline.com | January 9, 2018

Answers on page 34

Peaches is a 2 year old female. She is spayed and up to date on all vaccines. This sweetie loves to cuddle!

Baby is a one year old female. She is spayed and up to date on all vaccines. Very sweet and loving kitty!

he Bridge Home has an ongoing aluminum can can collection in front of the shelter at 2061 Hwy 75 in Blountville, TN 37617 and a second aluminum can collection site at Airworks Heating and Cooling, 5633 Memorial Blvd Kingsport. The cans are collected by a volunteer and the money from the aluminum goes towards badly needed food and supplies for the animals. The Bridge Home No Kill Animal Rescue has started a pet food pantry for people that have had financial hardships because of job loss or medical problems and are struggling to feed their pet. They can come by the shelter and get cat or dog food to get through the tough time.

Donations can be sent to The Bridge Home Shelter PO Box 654 Blountville, TN 37617 Every animal in their care is spayed or neutered and fully vaccinated before being adopted. Being a non profit the shelter is funded entirely by membership dues and private donations. They always need volunteers or monetary donations. Other always needed items:pet food, cat litter & cat toys dog treats & dog toys,paper towels, cleaners, office supplies,Purina weight circles. Phone: 423-239-5237 Hours are Mon-Fri 12pm6pm Sat 12pm-3pm and Sun 2pm-4pm. Website is www.bridgehomerescue@ gmail.com or like them on Facebook: www.Facebook.com/bridgehome

33 theloaferonline.com | January 9, 2018

PETS

OF THE WEEK

theloaferonline.com | January 9, 2018

THINGS TO DO Big Brothers Big Sisters Looking for Community Volunteers Big Brothers Big Sisters of Greater Tri-Cities (BBBSGTC) is looking for community volunteers to make a difference in a child’s life. Spending approximately 4 hours a month with an at-risk youth can help them improve in school, their behavior and their self-esteem. “Our kids have a need, and we are looking for caring adults to step up and volunteer,” said Kathy Lowdermilk, Regional Director of BBBSGTC. “If you have a few hours a month and the desire to make a difference, we want to talk with you about our program.” Our local Big Brothers Big Sisters office, which serves the Bristol, Kingsport, and Johnson City area, is part of one of the oldest and largest youth mentoring organizations in the United States. It’s a system that has been proven to work and transforms the lives of children who might not otherwise ever get the support they need to grow and successfully meet life’s challenges. Child-volunteer matches are made based on in-depth and comprehensive interviewing with parents, children and potential volunteers. Stringent safeguards are in place to assure that all parties are safe. Volunteer and parent engagement and training also play a big role.Anyone wanting to find out more about Big Brothers Big Sisters of Greater Tri-Cities should contact the office by calling 423-247-3240, or visiting TennesseeBig.org. •••••••••••••••••••••••••• Blood Drive Marsh Regional Blood Center will conduct public blood drives at the area locations. Visit http:// tinyurl.com/n4aujx9 to find a lo-

signings, Q an A's, and round For more information, please call “Advanced Facebook Techtable talks. This event is drop in the Jonesborough Library at 423- niques” will be offered Thursday, Jan. 25, from noon to 1 p.m. and all are welcome. There will 753-1800. •••••••••••••••••••••••••• This workshop, designed for be drawings through the day for Facebook users with business door prizes. Don't Miss it! Workshops for Entrepreneurs • 10 a.m.: Question and Answers The Tennessee Small Business pages, will focus on Facebook’s with our publishing teams. Development Center (TSBDC) Power Editor, which allows us• 12 p.m.: Author Book Signings. at East Tennessee State Univer- ers to create targeted audiences cation near you. In addition to • Door prizes every hour, on the sity will offer three workshops to potentially amplify the reach scheduled blood drives, donors hour: 12 p.m. - 5 p.m. for entrepreneurs in January at of their posts. Each workshop are welcome at Marsh Regional’s the ETSU Innovation Laboratory, is $25, and pre-registration is re•••••••••••••••••••••••••• collection centers: 111 W. Stone quired. To register, or for more in2109 W. Market St. Drive, Suite 300, Kingsport, 2428 Family Movie Matinee “Twitter: Planning Your Business formation, contact Teresa Shipley Knob Creek Road, Johnson City Join us at the Jonesborough Li- Strategy for 2018” will be held of the TSBDC at 423-439-8505 and 1996 W. State St., Bristol. brary on Saturday, January 13th, Thursday, Jan. 18, from noon to or shipleyth@etsu.edu. For disFor more information about 2:00 p.m. for our Family Movie 1 p.m. In this workshop, par- ability accommodations, call the scheduling a blood drive at a lo- Matinee! Our movie for January ticipants will learn about recent ETSU Office of Disability Services cal business, church, school or is a popular family-friendly film. changes to Twitter as well as the at 423-439-8346. community organization, please Free popcorn, candy, and drinks latest tools available for small •••••••••••••••••••••••••• call 423-408-7500, 423-652-0014 will be provided! business owners to manage Twitor 276-679-4669 or visit marshBlindsided by a new generation ter and how to develop a strategy Sew Crazy Meeting blood.com. of blazing-fast cars, the legendary to engage new audiences. The next Sew Crazy meeting will Lightning McQueen finds himself be held on Saturday, January 20, •••••••••••••••••••••••••• “Hiring for Your Small Business: pushed out of the sport that he Getting Started” will be held from 10 a.m. -2 p.m. The group The Casual Word loves. Hoping to get back in the Wednesday, Jan. 24, from 10-11 will be meeting at Bethlehem LuAdult Creative Writing Class game, he turns to Cruz Ramirez, a.m. Ashley Cox, human resourc- theran Church, 201 E. Watauga Join us for a free, fun, engag- an eager young technician who es partner for small businesses at Ave., Johnson City. This will be a ing, and different look into writ- has her own plans for winning. sproutHR, will cover steps for pre- Sit and Sew session to complete ing. In this class, we will not focus With inspiration from the Fabu- paring a business to hire, includ- the current project making 100 on structure, form, or rules, but lous Hudson Hornet and a few ing different types of workers and draw-cord backpacks for use by on the freedom of writing. It is unexpected turns, No. 95 pre- knowing which type will meet UMCOR - United Methodist Comthe goal of this class to open the pares to compete on Piston Cup the needs of the job. She will also mittee on Relief. There is no cost mind to its full creative potential Racing's biggest stage. provide tips for writing job de- to attend this meeting; sewing by allowing participants to write This event is free and open to scriptions and posting openings, materials and notions are providwhat they want, how they want to the public.This event is sponsored creating an interview process and ed. For more information, please write it. Sessions will be student by the Friends of the Washington conducting effective interviews. contact Donna Horowitz at 423lead; we will engage in topics and County Jonesborough Library. 434-0424 or info@sew-crazy.org . subjects that are of interest to the students. The atmosphere is Cryptogram: Use no hurtful deceit - think innocently and justly and if you speak, speak accordingly. casual and jovial. This class is de- DropQuote: "Both the cockroach and the bird could get along very well without us, although the cockroach signed for all those 18 and up who would miss us most." wish to try their hand at creative writing. Thursdays @ 6:00 p.m. Jones Creativity Center. Bristol Public Library. •••••••••••••••••••••••••• Author Fair Sure Fire Publishing teams up with The Casual Word publishing to host their first annual author fair at the Bristol Public Library, 701 Goode St. on Februrary 10th from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. The Casual Word and Sure Fire will be there to answer any questions for anyone who is interested in writing and/or publishing. Several authors will be at the event for book

(Column #1,477)

By now the glimmer has undoubtedly faded from the stuff you found under your Christmas tree and you are being primed to find suitable replacements for these two-week-old, and hopelessly out-of-date presents. So, as I generally do this time of year, I present a treasure-trove of new gadgets that will make our lives complete--until at least this time next week.

I Kelly’s Place

By Jim Kelly since 1989 jkelly@ theloaferonline.com

found this list in a December 29, 2017 (“back in the day”) Comparisons. org column by Dave Freeman, and it captures the spirit of what the new year will bring to all gadget lovers--of course, we should expect this list to be constantly changing as new gadgets yet undreamed of will inevitably appear on our wish lists. First up, and appealing to our obsessions for tracking everything, is “TrackRBravo, an updated version of similar tracking devices already being marketed. Simply attach one of these coin-sized devices to all of of your favorite possessions and stop worrying about misplacing them. If it can locate missing socks in a dryer I will place my order immediately. “Even put one on your dog’s collar,” says the description. Although your pet might already have one of those implanted chips inserted under its skin, you might also want this extra protection. Hopefully before long we will able to implant one of these nifty little gadgets inside our skulls so we will never again worry about losing our minds. If you are distrustful of auto mechanics, you will want to pick up “FIXD,” another small device that is linked to an app. Simply insert this into your car’s OBD port (if you can find this thing, which has apparently been installed on all post-1996 automobiles). This device plays into the current DIY trend that invites us to become experts on everything from medical care to plumbing. Needless to say, this gadget will not endear you to your mechanic. My favorite item on the list is “Carbon Klean,” something that promises to “magically clean glasses with carbon technology.” Carbon is a popular buzzword and conjures up magical images in most people’s minds. This new item promises to clean your glasses much more efficiently that those pre-moistened pads that seem to dry out once they are removed from their packaging. The real selling point is that “even NASA uses it for lens cleaning.” And we know, or used to know, that NASA has ushered in the modern world, giving us everything from powdered breakfast drinks to teflon. Two items by a company called iTAC have all sorts of potential to annoy just about anyone. The iTAC Flashlight has a LED beam that can cover an area as large as a football field, covering “thousands of feet.” This flashlight is very tough. You can “drop it, drive over it, and immerse it in six feet of water” and still use it. The iTAC Tactical Pen is more than just a writing instrument. It is also a “glass breaker, knife, and flashlight” (although probably not as powerful and potentially offensive as the flashlight previously described). Can it perform all these things at once?

Because we are a surveillance society, anything that allows us to monitor (i.e. spy) has instant appeal. If you are fascinated by all those police surveillance cams that appear on reality shows and the nightly news, you will want to install the DashCam 1080 HD on your car’s dash. How you might want to use this camera is the scary part. But no matter what you decide to watch, “no batteries are required, and you’ll never have to worry about the battery running out while you’re recording.” For your home, you will want the Snap SmartCam, which allows you to “keep an eye” on your children when you’re not at home--hopefully you are not planning to use this in your newborn’s nursery. But, wait there’s more. Not only is this a High-Definition video cam, but it also contains a handy phone charger. Why, we are not told. Maybe it also features a digital can opener and an Alexa/Siri voice assistant as well. If you are paranoid about busting your smartphone’s screen, and are tired of attaching those bubbly and largely useless screen protectors, you will want to buy “WOWFixit Blass Protector.” This is a “space age” (NASA?) product called LiquidNano and when applied, “it forms an invisible, nearly impenetrable barrier that resists scratches, cracks, and even water!” Too bad it also resists touch. But it gives you such a great peace of mind. If you are sick and tired of hearing all those car alarms going off when there is no apparently emergency, just wait until more and more people acquire the “Siren Song” personal alarm system. Apparently over 100,000 people already have one of these 130 decibel alarms that is described as “earpiercing.” My prediction is that for every potential assault that is warded off, hundreds of false alarms will put our hearing at risk. While these gadgets seem relatively benign, although at times pretty scary, we live in a world of algorithms that make our lives much less secure. In a recent New York Times article by Siddhartha Mukherjee, author of the spellbing book THE GENE, we learn about “the dying algorithm” that may give us the ability to predict our time of death. He concludes his article with the confession that “I cannot shake some inherent discomfort with the thought that an algorithm might understand patterns of mortality better than most humans.” Let’s hope that some enterprising marketing genius doesn’t put this power into an app or a little device that has a phone charger built into it. Before I experience a brain freeze, I will bring this column to an end while you place your orders for some of these products. See you next week.

theloaferonline.com | January 9, 2018

New Gadgets For A New Year

theloaferonline.com | January 9, 2018