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Volume 28 Issue #31
Fun Fest 2014 July 11th - 19th
Publisher - Bill Williams • Editor/Graphic Arts Director - Don Sprinkle • Office Manager - Luci Tate Cover Design - Bill May • Photography - Mark Marquette Advertising - Dave Carter, Akey Kincaid, Terry Patterson Contributing Staff - Jim Kelly, Andy Ross, Ken Silvers, Mark Marquette Published by Tree Street Media, LLC., P.O. Box 3238, Johnson City, TN 37602 Phone: 423/283-4324 FAX - 423/283-4369 www.theloaferonline.com • info@theloaferonline.com e-mail: editorial@theloaferonline.com (editorial) adcopy@theloaferonline.com (advertising All advertisements are accepted and published by the publisher upon the representation that the agency and/or advertiser is authorized to publish the entire contents and subject matter thereof.The agency and/or advertiser will indemnify and save the publisher harmless from any loss of expense resulting from claims or suits based upon contents of any advertisement,including claims or suits for defamation,libel,right of privacy,plagiarism,and copyright infringement.
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FUNFEST ----- continued from page 4
production. Sponsors for the Friday night concert are Appalachian Power, Domtar Paper Company, AGC Glass Company and media sponsors WJHL News Channel 11 and WXBQ.
Kingsport, TN • July 11-19
Fun Fest 2014
Saturday, July 19th
Saturday night, multi-platinum, San Francisco-based band Train will take the stage. Train made its first mark on music history in 2001 with the Grammy Award-winning song “Drops of Jupiter (Tell Me)” and chart-topping singles like “Meet Virginia” and “Calling All Angels.” The band earned its third Grammy in 2011 for the worldwide smash
For Fun Fest text alerts, text FESTUS to 74574!! Fun Fest 2014 is excited to announce the entertainment for the 2014 Sunset Concert Series. Scheduled Friday July 11-Saturday July 19, Fun Fest will once again feature a variety of musical genres for the Sunset Concert Series. MercyMe will kick off the series on Thursday, July 17 followed by Martina McBride on Friday, July 18. The series finale will be Train on Saturday, July 19. “We are proud to announce an exceptional line-up for this year’s Sunset Concert Series,” said 2014 Fun Fest chair George DeCroes. “These artists and bands represent everything from regional, up-and-coming artists to award-winning stars in country, Christian, rock and pop music. What better way to top off a great week of Fun Fest!”
magazine’s No. 3 overall Christian song for the decade. They won New Artist of the Year in 2009 at the 40th Annual GMA Dove Awards and in 2010 “By Your Side” was named Song of the Year. Sponsors for the Thursday night concert are Honda Kingsport, Salsarita’s of Kingsport, Carter Trent Funeral Home, Tele-Optics, Inc. and media sponsor WCQR. Church sponsors include Gravely Baptist, Higher Ground Baptist, Colonial Heights Christian, Kingsport First Assembly of God, Christ Fellowship Church, Preaching Christ Church, Celebration Church, and Indian Springs Baptist.
band” by the Boston Globe, and has been affirmed by Paste Magazine to “know rock and roll from the inside out.”Their music has been featured on five network television programs and they’ve had standout festival appearances at Bonnaroo, Wakarusa, and SXSW, while also opening for a diverse and notable list of major artists including Wilco, The Black Crowes, Zac Brown Band, and NEEDTOBREATHE. In March, their debut album, Hearts on Fire, debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard Heatseekers Chart. Eastman Chemical Company will sponsor the finale concert with media sponsors WCYB and Electric 94.9. The Sunset Concert Series will take place on the Brock Services Stage at J. Fred Johnson Stadium. Additional Series sponsors include Eastman Credit Union and the Kingsport Convention & Visitors Bureau. Individual ticket prices are $15 for Thursday and Friday and $20 for Saturday through July 10. Ticket prices will increase $5 starting July 11. Prices for combination packs are: Thurs/Fri - $25, Thurs/Sat or Fri/ Sat - $30. Price for the entire Sunset Concert Series package is $45. General admission tickets will also be available beginning Friday, June 20 at 9 a.m. at the Fun Fest Store inside the Kingsport Chamber of Commerce, 400 Clinchfield St. For a complete schedule of events, please visit the Fun Fest website at: www.funfest.net.
Friday, July 18th
Returning to Fun Fest as a headliner for Friday night is Martina McBride. McBride hit the country music scene in 1991. With twelve studio The Sunset Concert Series kicks off with the third Contemporary albums and more than 14 million albums sold in the US, McBride has Christian Concert on the main stage. MercyMe will bring a vast rep- made her mark in the music industry. McBride is a four-time Country ertoire of contemporary Christian music to the stage. After nearly 20 Music Association “Female Vocalist of the Year” and three-time Acadyears together, the band has amassed a devoted following. Selling more emy of Country Music’s “Top Female Vocalist” award winner. Released than six million units and serving up such memorable songs as “I Can in April, McBride’s newest album, Everlasting, debuted at No. 1 on the Only Imagine,” (the first song in Christian music to go platinum in the Billboard country chart and is a collection of R&B and Soul cover songs, digital domain) and “Word of God Speak,” which was named the No. featuring duets with Kelly Clarkson and Gavin DeGraw. 1 Christian Song of the Decade by Billboard magazine, MercyMe has scored 23 number one multi-format Christian radio singles along with Grammy nominations, numerous Dove Awards, and an American Music Award. Their latest album, The Hurt and the Healer, has proven to be their most personal collection of songs to-date, capturing a powerful message of hope for a hurting world. The evening will open up with Tenth Avenue North. Since their 2008 debut album, Over and Underneath, Tenth Avenue North has become one of Christian music industry’s most successful acts, saturating Christian radio with such memorable songs as “Love is Here,” “Hold My Heart,” and “By Your Side,” a number one single that wasBillboard-
Thursday, July 17th
“Hey, Soul Sister” from the album Save Me, San Francisco. “Hey, Soul Sister” hit No. 1 at radio in the U.S. and in 15 countries abroad and was the top selling single of the year in the U.S. Save Me, San Francisco has sold over one million albums worldwide and over ten million tracks. The band is currently working on their follow up to their most recent album, California 37, which contained the global hits “Drive By” and “50 Ways to Say Goodbye.” Hailing from Knoxville, Tenn., The Dirty Guv’nahs will open Saturday night’s show. This six-piece brotherhood is called “a fiercely soulful
Have an event coming up? Email a press release Opening for McBride will be up-and-coming country artist Michael Ray. Signed to Warner Bros. Records, Ray has shared the stage with Alabama, Rodney Atkins, Luke Bryan, Eric Church, Brantley Gilbert, Alan Jackson, Jake Owen, and Randy Travis. His debut album is currently in FUNFEST ----- continued on page 5
and photos to:
editorial@theloaferonline.com
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Southwest Virginia Woman Wins Country Showdown A Southwest Virginia mom got one step closer to living her country music dream Saturday night when she took home the win in the first-level competition of the Country Showdown, a nationally televised country music performance contest held each year. “Both my parents were in a band, so I grew up around music,” said winner Kandice Hutton, 30, of Wise. “My family made me [enter this contest].” As the winner of the local Country Showdown competition, which drew contestants from three states, Hutton will receive a $3,000 recording session at Blountville, Tenn.-based Crooked Stick Recording and will go on to compete at the next level in October. The winner there will move on to a regional contest in New York, whose winner will be in the televised finals. The event had about a dozen accepted contestants who came from three states: Tennessee, Virginia and West Virginia. It was held at Heartwood: Southwest Virginia’s Artisan Gateway in Abingdon. The runner-up was Kingsport-area band Southern Rebellion. When Hutton went onstage to accept her prize, her son Evan and nephew Henry, both 4, ran to hug her; she also received hearty congratulations from the crowd of
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Registration for the
“Tweetsie Trail Trek” is Now Open
Inaugural Run/Walk and Opening Festivities slated for Saturday August 30, 2014 The Tweetsie Trail committee is pleased to announce that registration for the inaugural Run/ Walk in now available online. Visit www.TweetsieTrail.com to register for the event, called Tweetsie Trail Trek, and also to learn more about the Trail. When complete, the Tweetsie Trail will be the longest rails-to-trails project in the state of Tennessee. Join thousands of your neighbors, friends, and family to officially open the Trail on Saturday, August 30. It’s a family-friendly run/walk on the historic route between Elizabethton and Johnson City, followed by refreshments and entertainment at the new Memorial Park Community Center in Johnson City.
Participants are sure to enjoy the day and natural beauty along the way. Plus, the event is a fundraiser for the Trail, since registration fees go toward Trail development and maintenance. Participants who register in advance will also receive an event T-shirt and inaugural Trek Medallion. Location: The Trek starts at Lions Field in Elizabethton the morning of Saturday, August 20. Runners will take off first at 8:30 am, followed by the walkers at 9, and cyclists at noon. The course is 4.3 miles running point to point. The finish line is at the Memorial Park Community Center. Important note: On the Opening Day, the Trek is ONE-WAY ONLY, starting in Elizabethton and end-
ing in Johnson City. Two-way “traffic” will not be allowed until after 3 pm. For detailed information about the event, including online registration and options for parking and transportation, visit www. TweetsieTrail.com.
Kandice Hutton sang her heart out during the Country Showdown on Saturday, and she took home first prize, which enables her to advance to the next level. family and friends who had come to show support. “Do you want to know how she learned to sing?” asked her mother, Patricia Ray. “MTV with a hairbrush in front of the mirror.” Ray said Hutton sang her first solo at age 15 – and, even then, blew the crowd away. She said she’s always known her daughter
could take her talent to the next level, and has waited 15 years to see it happen. “It’s been a long time coming,” said family friend Patricia Surber. “We knew she could do this.” A few folks from the crowd also expressed their support for their local winner as she advances to the next level of competition. “We’ll be listening to you,” said Debbie Yates of Konnarock, Va., whose daughters also competed Saturday, “and we’ll be rooting for you.” Tiffany Hickman, sales manager at Marion-based radio station FM94 WMEV, which hosted Saturday night’s competition at Heartwood in Abingdon, said the national prize is $100,000. “We’re excited to be a part of an event of this kind that showcases phenomenal local talent,” Hickman said. “We are blessed to come from a region pouring with musical talent, and we are just so excited to be the channel to connect the community to this talent.”
Come Hula at the Kingsport Goodwill Luau! The Goodwill Industries of Tenneva retail store in Kingsport, Tennessee will be decorated with flowers and beach umbrellas on Friday, July 11 from 9 a.m. to 8 p.m! The John B. Dennis Goodwill, located at 105 Indian Center Court, is holding its annual customer appreciation event. This year, the John B. Dennis Goodwill will be holding the summer’s best luau event in Kingsport! The store will hold a tent sale featuring items 75 percent off and a 50 percent off purple tag sale! The John B. Dennis Goodwill employees will be dressed in floral clothes, grass skirts and various luau accessories! The tent sale will feature various items such clothing, furniture, housewares, and children’s toys all at 75 percent off. Beverages and snacks will be provided and there will be door prize give aways all day! If patrons cannot attend this customer appreciation sale, join
us at the Allandale Goodwill retail store located at 4528 W. Stone Dr, Kingsport, Tennessee on Friday, July 18. The proceeds from the retail stores fund Goodwill Industries
of Tenneva’s employment services and vocational programs for people with barriers to employment. For more information, please call the Marketing Department at 423.245.0600.
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Kitty & Jared and Tori Bartfai
Nelson Fine Art to host exhibit on Appalachian foodways
Featured at Heartwood
The Crooked Road: Virginia’s Heritage Music Trail presents Kitty & Jared and Tori Bartfai in concert on Thursday, July 10th, from 6:30 to 8:00 p.m. at Heartwood in Abingdon, VA. The concert is part of The Crooked Road’s Youth Music Series. Kitty Amaral lives in Grayson County and began fiddling at age five. An outstanding classical violinist and old time fiddler, she has a unique collection of songs and tunes ranging from Southwestern Virginia and the Carolina Appalachians to Oklahoma, Ozarks, and beyond. Claw-hammer banjo player Jared Lane Boyd is from Laurel Fork, VA, and comes from a family with a history of playing old time music. Jared’s grandfather, Jimmy Boyd, has been a huge influence on his banjo playing, and continues to be as Jared makes his way into the world of
old time music. Kitty & Jared both have active musical schedules, and have recently been playing together as a duo highlighting each other’s unique talents, repertoire, and playing styles. Victoria “Tori” Bartfai, a 17 year-
learning techniques from various genres including bluegrass, rock, jazz, and classical guitar. The Crooked Road Music Series features youth music performers and showcases venues of the Crooked Road region. These events, along with open jams on the 1st, 3rd, (and 5th) Thursday of every month, are hosted at Heartwood. A complete schedule for the music series is available on The Crooked Road website at www.thecrookedroad.org and at www.heartwoodvirginia.org. The music series is sponsored by The Crooked Road, Heartwood, Kitty & Jared photo - Vickie Boyd Virginia Commission for the Arts, old from Cedar Bluff, VA (Taze- and the National Endowment for well County), has been pursuing the Arts. Heartwood: Southwest Virginher passion of playing the guitar ia’s Artisan Gateway is located off for six years. She has studied muI-81 at Exit 14 in Abingdon, VA, sic in New York City, and is currently studying guitar with Ben and features food, music, and craft Addison. Tori enjoys playing and of Southwest Virginia. Admission
to the concert is free and donations will be accepted for Crooked Road Traditional Music Education Program (TMEP). For more information on The Crooked Road Music Series call (276) 492-2409 or email: info@ thecrookedroad.org.
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“Lens on the Larder: The Foodways of Appalachia in Focus” will be on exhibit at Nelson Fine Art Center in Johnson City from July 11-26. Photographs by Larry Smith and oral histories collected by Fred Sauceman, both of East Tennessee State University, document traditional and emerging foodways of Appalachia — lard-fortified bowls of soup beans, the first appearance of bottomland strawberries in late April, hand-cranked homemade ice cream at midsummer, and the making of artisanal goat cheese on a Western North Carolina farm. Other subjects include an annual springtime memorial to the King of Hawaii in Tennessee; Seaver’s Bakery, a local fried pie business dating to 1949; the art of barbecuing fresh ham in a Tennessee hollow at The Ridgewood; the annual Flag Pond Ruritan Ramp Festival;
Larder” exhibit will be held from 7-9 p.m. on Friday, July 11, at Nelson Fine Art Center, 324 East Main Street in Johnson City. During the reception, documentary films about Ridgewood Barbecue and Sunburst Trout will be shown, and
Johnson City’s own energy drink, Dr. Enuf; and the red-dyed Dip Dog of Smyth County, Va. The exhibit is comprised of more than 70 photographs and accompanying stories. An opening reception for the “Lens on the
food samples from those two businesses will be available for tasting. For more information, call 423926-2931 or the ETSU Office of University Relations at 423-4394317.
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Bluegrass Concert
at The Carter Family Fold this Saturday, July 12th Saturday, July 12th, 2014, at 7:30 p.m. the Carter Family Fold in Hiltons, Virginia, will present a concert of bluegrass music by Raymond McLain, Mike Stevens, Ruth McLain, and Jesse Wells. Backing them up will be more of Kentucky’s finest musicians. Admission to the concert is $10 for adults, $1 for children 6 to 11, under age 6 free. The McLain Family Band began performing at Carter Music Center when Janette Carter first began presenting concerts in the old A.P. Carter Grocery in 1974. Raymond McLain, Sr. formed the family band in the late 1960s when his five children were very young. Mr. McLain was a Carter Family Memorial Music Center board member from the day the center was created. His son Raymond now serves on the Music Center’s board of directors in addition to serving as the Artistic Director at the Fold. Raymond is Director of the Kentucky Center for Traditional Music at Morehead State University. He also performs, produces, and records. Raymond’s 40 plus years of
entertaining have taken him to performances in all 50 states and 62 foreign countries, including a tour as a musical ambassador of the U.S. State Department. For 21 years with his family band, Raymond was featured interna-
tionally at thousands of festivals and concerts and also as a soloist in appearances with over 230 orchestras. Raymond was with Jim & Jesse’s Virginia Boys for ten years. He currently performs with Canadian harmonica whiz, Mike Stevens, and with his family whenever possible. Through the years, the McLains have produced dozens of CDs and records. Mike Stevens’ talent is unorthodox. As an innovative, groundbreaking performer, educator, and
author Mike continues to expand the paradigms of harmonica, balancing tradition with cutting edge innovation. He has toured the world with legendary stars of bluegrass Jim & Jesse. Roy Acuff is one of his biggest fans, often making special trips to the Opry just to watch Mike play. He has logged more than 300 performances on the world famous Grand Ole Opry stage and is a true pioneer of bluegrass harmonica – creating a much copied style of playing. When Mike performs, the harmonica becomes a musical paintbrush with no limits. He literally breathes in the world and breathes out music. Mike hails from Canada, and he won the “Entertainer of the Year” at the Central Canadian bluegrass awards for five consecutive years before he was retired in this category. To his credit he adds many other accolades, including “Best Selling Album of the Year” for his recording on the Pinecastle label - BLOWIN UP A STORM; “Album of the Year” for his release HARMONICA; and he was made a “Kentucky Colonel” for his accomplishments in bluegrass music. Ruth McLain has performed with the McLain Family Band from the time it was created by her father. Raymond McLain, Sr., was the director of Hindman Settlement School in Knott County, Kentucky. He studied folk music at Harvard and later at the University of North Carolina. His mother was also a significant figure in American folk music, having been director of Southern Folk Life Studies at the University of Alabama. While at Hindman, he formed a band with his son Raymond, Jr., and daughters Ruth and Alice. The band made over 14 international tours, played at the Grand Ole’ Opry, at Carnegie Hall, the Lincoln Center, and performed with many orchestras and symphonies over the years. The family band broke up in 1989, but reformed for concerts over the years – many of Continued on page 11
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them at the Fold. Ruth’s voice is spell-binding. She’s a songwriter and plays a mean bass as well. Jesse Wells works with Raymond at Morehead State University in their bluegrass and old time program. Having grown up in Johnson County, Kentucky, he learned old time fiddle and banjo from an early age. A music graduate of Morehead, Jesse’s father and brothers also play fiddle and banjo. Jesse and Raymond will both be fiddling, so folks who come to the Fold with dancing in mind certainly won’t be disappointed. Together, Stevens and McLain play a new and unique combination of musical styles reflecting their background in bluegrass, blues, and old time country music. When you combine Raymond’s brilliant fiddling and banjo picking with Mike’s breathtaking harmonica jamming, you can also expect to hear sounds you never thought existed--and beautiful sounds at that! There’ll be something for everyone. Come on out to the Carter Family Fold to see Mike Stevens, Raymond and Ruth McLain, and Jesse Wells. Be ready to dance and have some good, clean family fun. For more information on Ruth and Raymond McLain, go to www.
mclains.com. For information on Mike, go to his web site: www. mikestevensmusic.com. Carter Family Memorial Music Center, Incorporated, is a nonprofit, rural arts organization established to preserve traditional, acoustic, mountain music. For further information on the center, go to http://www.carterfamilyfold. org. Shows from the Carter Family Fold can be accessed on the internet at http://www.carterfoldshow.com. Carter Music Center is part of the Crooked Road: Virginia’s Heritage Music Trail. You can visit the Crooked Road Music Trail site at http://thecrookedroad.org. Partial funding for programs at the center is provided by the Virginia Commission for the Arts and
Mike Stevens
Jesse Wells
Silo Tours the South with a stop at The Acoustic Coffeehouse
Out of the Louisiana Delta, these two ladies bring a new folk sound with accordion, banjo and percussion. As a duet of songwriters, they infuse a high energy show with velvety harmonies, multiple instruments for texture, and a certain southern sweetness. Silo will be touring their
the National Endowment for the Arts. For recorded information on shows coming up at the Fold, call 276-386-6054. The Fold is on Facebook – page Carter Fold – and Twitter – @carterfoldinfo. To speak to a Fold staff member, call 276-594-0676.
new album, “Tall Tales,”through the southeast from June 19th starting in New Orleans and ending in Natchez, MS, August 2nd, stopping at The Acoustic Coffeehouse on July 15th at 8 pm. More tour dates and shows: https://www.facebook.com/silolouisiana
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Nanyehi: Beloved Women of the Cherokee The City of Kingsport Office of Cultural Arts is proud to present the musical Nanyehi: Beloved Woman of the Cherokee, its Tennessee debut, in mid-October 2014 at the Renaissance Arts Center & Theatre in Kingsport in collaboration with the Kingsport Theatre Guild. A public stage reading will take place at the Allendale Mansion Amphitheater on July 10, 2014. Auditions will take place the next day on July 11, 2014. Nanyehi is a two-act musical with 17 songs brought to you by Grammy Award nominated songwriter, Becky Hobbs and coplaywright, Nick Sweet, based on the life of Becky’s 5th-great grandmother, Nancy Ward, who was first honored as a Cherokee warrior, then as a peace maker in the 1700’s. She was first named Nanyehi, and later known as Nancy Ward. Nanyehi means, “she who walks among the spirit people.” On the day she was born, a white wolf appeared on the ho-
rizon. This was very significant to the Cherokee people, as “white” was the color that symbolized “peace,” and Nanyehi was born into the Wolf Clan, one of the most prominent of the seven Cherokee clans. She was born in approximately 1738, in Chota, the capital of the Cherokee Nation, in an area that is now eastern Tennessee. Enormous changes took place during her lifetime, she died in 1822. Hobbs said she hoped to inspire and make a difference with people after they watched the production. “There are a lot of people who have given up hope today and especially young people,” she said. “We look around and they’re living in a virtual world. I want to inspire people to do better to make this world a better place.” In 1776, after the illegal sale of lands in Tennessee, Ward’s cousin, Dragging Canoe, organized a series of attacks against white settlers. However, Ward sent runners to warn the whites of the ap-
proaching attacks. Dragging Canoe was wounded and three of the attacks were unsuccessful. “That Nanyehi could be such a strong woman back then when woman weren’t considered important, just shows that in the Indian culture they were” said Hobbs. Highlights from the musical include the Battle of Taliwa, a Cherokee marriage ceremony and Ward saving the life of a white settler and a stickball game. The two-act production also includes several dance numbers and songs such as Song of the Nunnehi or spirit people, Pass the Whiskey, This Land is Not Our Land and There Will Be Blood. Cherokee Nation citizen Jenna Stocks choreographed the dances. “The songs are really contemporary and they use contemporary instruments, so the dancing has been more contemporary and less traditional,” Jenna Stocks said. “It’s a very meaningful play. It’s meaningful to the Cherokee Na-
tion because she was a strong leader, and so I think it’s very touching”. Hobbs came up with the idea of telling Ward’s story via a musical after writing some of the songs now in the production in the 1990s. It was after meeting Nick Sweet, who directed the Cherokee Heritage Center’s Trail of Tears drama that the musical “Nanyehi, Beloved Woman of the Cherokee” was set into motion. Today, the production contains 17 songs. Hobbs is best known for writing Angels Among Us, recorded by Alabama, as well as writing and
recording her hits, Jones on the Jukebox and Honky Tonk Saturday Night. Her co-writer, Sweet, is a freelance stage director who has directed more than 100 productions, including the historical outdoor drama Trail of Tears in 2002. For “Nanyehi,” Sweet directs the musical production and Hobbs serves as musical director. Other characters included Dragging Canoe, Ward’s mother, Tenia; Cherokee chiefs Attakullakulla and Oconastota; Ward’s first husband, Kingfisher; and second husband, Bryant Ward as well as Ward’s friend Sequina.
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Lakeside Concert Series kicks off July 10 with Ivy Road
Ivy Road’s dynamic duo and their boogie woogie piano-style music will kick off Winged Deer Park’s popular Lakeside Concert Series on Thursday, July 10. Ivy Road has opened for Johnny Winters, The Marshall Tucker Band, and Black Oak Arkansas. They have played festivals in Scotland, at Fan Fair in Nashville, Binion’s Horseshoe Lounge in Mississippi, and have headlined at the The Little Chicago Blues Festival. Locals may know them from the Blue Plum Festival, Abingdon Highlands Festival, Grandfather Mountain Highland Games, and many other venues. This concert takes place from 7-9 p.m., and admission is free. Bring your lawn chairs and your dancing shoes. Winged Deer Park is located at 4137 Bristol Highway, and the lakefront amphitheater is off Carroll Creek Road. For more information, call (423) 283-5815, or visit jcparksinfo@johnsoncitytn. org.
This year’s concert schedule is as follows: Thursday, July 10, 7-9 p.m. – Ivy Road Thursday, July 17, 7-9 p.m. – Lightnin’ Charlie and the Upsetters Thursday, July 24, 7-9 p.m. – Hillbilly Bad Band Thursday, July 31, 7-9 p.m. – Catfish Frye Band Thursday, Aug. 7, 7-9 p.m. – Lauren Cole Band Thursday, Aug. 14, 7-9 p.m. – Kids Our Age Band Sunday, Sept. 7, 6-8 p.m. – Johnson City Symphony
This year’s Lakeside Concert Series is sponsored by Bristol Broadcasting, Johnson City Parks and Recreation, Mountain States Health Alliance, and the News and Neighbor.
Theatre Audition Workshop Coming to The Blue Moon
The Blue Moon Dinner Theatre is excited to announce our upcoming audition workshop on Saturday, July 12th in Downtown Johnson City. Many actors feel nervous about auditioning, but this doesn’t have to be the case. In this three hour workshop we will cover everything you need to know about how to give a proper audition. Topics will include monologue selection, posture and stance, vocal dynamics, type recognition, how to dress, and how to enter and exit. This workshop will give you the edge you need in this increasingly competitive world of theatre. You will need to bring your best monologue along with a recent headshot and resume (if you don’t have these yet, don’t worry, you’ll learn
how to do them in class) and dress as you would for an audition for your type. In addition, bring headshots from three different actors who you think are your type. You can bring them on a USB drive and we will bring them up on a monitor. The cost for the workshop is just $25.00. The workshop will be held from 2pm - 5-pm on July 12th at the Blue Moon Dinner Theatre. The class will be taught by actor and writer Clayton Van Huss. Mr. Van Huss holds degrees from The Academy of Arts and East Tennessee State University and has appeared in over 50 productions on both stage and screen. Spaces are limited. To reserve your spot or ask any questions, call 423-2321350.
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These are a Few of MarQ’s Favorite Moon Things A Full Moon week reminds me of my favorite Moon shines... As a kid growing up during the 1960s Moon Race with the Soviet Union, I have no memories of not owning a telescope and looking at the Moon. Over the decades, there are some favorite stories and memories about Moon lore and fact, which I share: • The Moon is never the same. The shadows along the terminator—the line between day and night—are always an interplay of detail. After an hour, a mountain peak might appear out of the blackness. • I’ve seen dozens of Lunar Eclipses, and what I remember best are the people and places. Like a throng we entertained at Bays Mt.; or a freezing cold, but clear midnight eclipse watched beside a crematory; a 4 am-moonset eclipse watched with the dog from my backyard. There was another public lunar eclipse at Winged Deer Park, and several mid-morning eclipses shared with my best friends on Earth—amateur astronomers! • Moon is not a “four letter” word, though serious stargazers find the moonlight washing out nebulae, galaxies and other deep sky wonders. So, I’ve learned to embrace the Moon, and turn my telescope towards it, instead of away from it. Spending an hour at the eyepiece with a moon map identifying each charted feature can be an amazing journey of the mind. And don’t get me started on the artistic release of sketching the Moon! • Moon features are fun to learn, and have lots of history as to the lunar cartographers who named them. The dark “seas” are named in Latin after human emotions (Sea of Crisis, Ocean of Storms, Bay of Knowledge), and the craters are mostly named after history’s scientists with a few great leaders
and politicians (Copernicus, Tycho and Caesar). • Moon is the name of Earth’s moon. Which I find strange. It doesn’t have a proper noun name, like Phobos of Mars, Titan of Saturn and all the moons of Uranus named after Shakespeare characters (like Puck and Miranda). Most of the time our natural satellite is seen written in a lower case moon, not the proper pronoun, capital Moon. The Romans called it Luna. To the Greeks it is Selene, and the ancient Egyptians called it Isis. • I’ve had the privilege of twice interviewing Apollo 16 moonwalker John Young, a space hero of mine. He told me during a media interview that moon dust smelled like gunpowder and made his skin itchy, like fiberglass. Astronaut Young said that makes sense as the Moon’s pock-marked surface is the result of millions of huge impacts and billions of years of constant micrometeorite bombardment. Under a microscope, moon dust is tiny, pointed shards of rock. No wonder moonwalker Young got itchy during his three days camping out on the Moon. • I’ve also met twice Apollo 17 moonwalker Harrison “Jack” Schmitt, who was the only geologist to go to the Moon. The first time I met astronaut Schmitt was at a talk at The University of Tennessee, and I was filled with anticipation and intelligent questions. In the men’s room beforehand, Schmitt appeared at the urinal beside me—not the place to strike up a chit-chat about Moon rocks! The other time I basically stalked him during a two-day appearance at Abingdon’s Barter Theater to promote a play about the Moon Race. • Many scientists in the 17th and 18th Centuries thought it perfectly normal to consider the Moon inhabited by intelligent creatures. One of the greatest astronomers
was Sir William Herschel, discoverer of Uranus in 1781 and cataloger of thousands of telescopic celestial objects. Herschel was convinced that the Moon was inhabited by intelligent beings, and said so on the front pages of the London Times. He was frustrated that his telescopes couldn’t find lunar cities. • Hold your hand out at arm’s length toward the Moon and cover
it with your pinky finger. That’s one-half a degree of sky. That means 360 Full Moons would span in a line from horizon to directly overhead to horizon. From the Moon, it would take an outstretched thumb to cover Earth, or one degree. The Moon is 2,120 miles across and an average of 240,000 miles away. • In the days of horse drawn carriages and riders, meetings of
town councils and clubs were held during the full phase, so there’d be extra moonlight to safely ride home. Anyone riding on a lake during a moonlit night will notice the difference in visibility compared to a moonless one. • As bright at the Full Moon looks, it is really a poor reflector, sending back only 17 per cent of the sunlight that strikes it. The percentSTARGAZER --- continued on page 19
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Skies This Week Celestial events in the skies for the week of July 8th - July 14th, 2014, as compiled for The Loafer by Mark D. Marquette.
Clear mid-July nights will be spectacular this week as the gibbous Moon rises against the Appalachian landscape heading toward full phase on Saturday. Looking much bigger near the horizon of mountains and buildings than high overhead, that is what’s called the Moon illusion. The summer constellations like Hercules and Cygnus herald the coming of the Milky Way, but moonlight this week will wash out all but the brightest stars.
Fri. July 11
On this 2011 date in space history, the last Space Shuttle was launched on a supply mission to the International Space Station. Orbiter Atlantis was the 135th flight of the program begun in 1981 with Columbia. Columbia was destroyed upon reentry in 2001 and Challenger blew up during launch in 1986. Orbiters Atlantis, Endeavour and Discovery have been mothballed to museums.
Full Moon today, the sixth of the year. This Summer event has many names including the Rose Moon by American Colonialists, Strawberry Moon by Algonquin Indians and Buffalo Rutting Moon by the Cheyenne tribe.
Tues. July 8
Wed. July 9
On this 1979 date in space history, Voyager 2 flew by the largest planet Jupiter, on its way years later to Saturn, Uranus and Neptune. Still alive and sending data, Voyager 2 is in interstellar space, 12 billion miles from the Sun.
Thurs. July 10
On this 1962 date in space history, NASA launched Telstar 1, the first satellite to broadcast live television from America to Europe. The satellite inspired a #1 hit instrumental song in December ’62 called “Telstar” by the Tornados. The song was the first #1 hit in America by a British group.
On this 1979 date in space history, America’s first space station, Skylab, reentered Earth, with parts falling in the Western Australia Outback. Made out of a Saturn V rocket cylinder, the spacious orbiting outpost was suppose to be serviced by the Space Shuttle, but delays in its development spelled doom for Skylab, which was being pulled back to Earth by gravity. You can buy pieces of Skylab from legitimate space dealers.
Sat. July 12
Sun. July 13
Saturn is directly south in Cancer when it gets dark after 10 pm, and slowly moves westward as the night wears on. Behind Saturn is the constellation Scorpius with the bright red star Antares. The dot-to-dot stars of Scorpius look like a giant fish hook.
Mon. July 14
On this date in space history, space scientists got their first close up views of Mars and Mercury. In 1965, Mariner IV flew by the Red Planet, taking 21 historic photos that showed a cratered world and no sign of life. In 2008, NASA’s Messenger spacecraft flew by Mercury, showing the first planet to be predictably peppered with craters. Today, Messenger orbits Mercury, mapping the surface and observing the environment near the Sun.
age of reflected light is called “albedo,” and the Moon’s albedo is about the same as a lump of coal. In fact, a well-warn asphalt highway is about the same grey color of the thick, surface moon dust. • There is no dark side of the Moon. There is always half of the Moon illuminated and half in darkness, just like half of the Earth is either in the dark of night or sunshine of the day. • The backside of the Moon is what we don’t see, and it’s completely different. It is covered with thousands of craters with only a couple small, dark “maria” of ancient lava seas and no mountain ranges. Due to a slight wobble of the Moon called “liberation,” we see some of the backside on the east and west limbs, accounting for 59 per cent of the lunar surface area. • I have a list of songs with the word “moon” in them. So far, I have found about 80 songs—from David Bowie’s Moon Age Daydream to Van Morrison’s classic Moon Dance; to Yellow Moon by the Neville Brothers to Cornbread Moon by Joe Ely. How many Moon songs can you recall? • Two favorite websites to wet your lunar appetite: download for free the best interactive moon map at Virtual Moon Atlas. And for a novel fact and fantasy Moon page, google “Cheryl Robertson’s Whole Moon Page.” There are several Smartphone apps Moon calendars that will give you rising and setting information. You even can see what phase the Moon was on your birthday—or any date in
history. • I “own” a piece of our Moon... at least I paid $20 for a deed from the Lunar Republic Society for Tract 18, Parcel 1386 in the Sea of Vapors! It’s near the nice, 24-mile wide crater Manilius near the center of the Moon. I plan to visit my plot soon. • I also own autographs from nine of the 12 moonwalkers. (Most bought for $100 or less, about half the price of actor Brad Pitt’s autograph). The eight living moonwalkers have a contact to not sign anything except their own books for free. Anything else is commissioned through an astronomy art business called Nova Space in Tucson, Arizona. Those moonwalkers still alive in the Summer of 2014 to talk about it are: Apollo 11, Buzz Aldrin; Apollo 12, Alan Bean; Apollo 14, Edgar Mitchell; Apollo 15, David Scott; Apollo 16, John Young and Charlie Duke; and Apollo 17, Jack Schmitt and Gene Cernan. Deceased are Neil Armstrong, Pete Conrad, and James Irwin. • I also have about a dozen newspaper front pages from July 21, 1969 with headlines screaming “MAN WALKS ON THE MOON!” Ironically, also on the front page of some of those newspapers is the headline: “Ted Kennedy Survives, Woman Dies as Car Goes Off Bridge at Chappaquiddick.” It was President John Kennedy who challenged America to go to the Moon. Me? Crazy about the Moon? Sheer lunacy!
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Storytelling Live! Welcomes Juggler Izzi Tooinsky Izzi Tooinsky, a storyteller who specializes in juggling, will soon showcase his unique performance style at the International Storytelling Center in Jonesborough. Part fiction, part nonfiction, with a heavy dose of tall tales, Tooinsky’s stories are what he calls a form of magical realism. “I’ve walked in these two worlds of juggling and storytelling, something that almost no one else has done in recent years,” he says. “But it used to be a common thing. The traveling jester was almost always a storyteller and a juggler.” Tooinsky will perform daily matinees from July 15 – 19, Tuesday through Saturday, at 2:00 p.m. in the Mary B. Martin Storytelling Hall. Tickets for all matinees are just $12 for adults and $11 for seniors, students, and children under 18. With a college degree in inter-
national relations, Tooinsky originally thought he’d work as a diplomat or something like that. But when he went to Kenya, in Africa, as a study abroad student, performing for many different kinds of people changed his mind about his approach. “Because I traveled so much, I felt like I understood other people and their needs,” he says. “As I developed as a juggler and a storyteller, I realized that I could go to other countries without having to be part of the State Department. I could be my own representative of goodwill to the people of the world. “I know that sounds grand, but that is the way I felt,” he adds. From early on, Tooinsky found that juggling was a great way to communicate when he didn’t share a language with his audience. “There’s something incredibly universal about juggling,” he
says. “Not all art forms are like that. Cubist art, for instance, that’s not universal. People look at that and scratch their heads. Or even with the Impressionists or bagpipes or clogging or line dancing, people all over the world don’t say, ‘I get it and I love it.’ But with juggling, it’s an incredibly inclusive universal art. I could do it for children in the AIDS ward in Africa or I could do it for ear, nose, and throat doctors at the Hilton in Beverly Hills. Everybody is going to dig it.” In addition to his matinee performances, Tooinsky will also host a special children’s concert on Saturday, July 19, at 10:30 a.m. Tickets for the Saturday morning concert are only $5 for all ages, and ticket holders will receive coupons for 15 percent off at The Lollipop Shop, a popular Main Street store that sells old-fashioned sweets and toys. The International Storytelling Center’s Teller-in-Residence series brings a new storyteller to Jones-
borough each week from May to October. Information about all TIR performers, as well as a detailed schedule for 2014, is available at www.storytellingcenter.net. The International Storytelling Center is open 10 a.m. – 5 p.m.,
Monday through Saturday. For more information about Storytelling Live! or to make a group reservation, call (800) 952-8392 ext. 222 or (423) 913-1276. Season passes that offer savings of 44 percent are available while supplies last.
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“Liberty!” to open 36th season
of outdoor drama on Thursday, July 10, 2014 The Official Outdoor Drama of the State of Tennessee begins its 36th season July 10 at Sycamore Shoals State Historic Area in Elizabethton, and continues for a three-weekend run – Thursdays through Saturdays – beginning each evening at 7:30 in the Fort Watauga Amphitheater. Tennessee’s official outdoor drama is presented by a cast of local performers against the backdrop of Fort Watauga. Liberty! portrays the significant history of Sycamore Shoals during the late 18th century. The concept of outdoor drama offers a very unique format in which to present a theatrical performance. Without a doubt, experiencing live theater, beside the cool waters of the Watauga River, with Fort Watauga as the backdrop to the play, is unlike any other. Theatrical lighting, professional sound, and a host of unexpected effects completely immerse the audience in the lifestyles of the late 18th century. As the story unfolds, long hunters and settlers begin leaving the protection of the English Colonies, crossing the Appalachian Mountains in violation of the British Proclamation of 1763. Historically, along the Watauga Old Fields, families soon made their homes, formed a new government, bought and traded land from the Cherokee, and ultimately, during the American Revolution, fought for the freedom we hold so dear today. The series of events that unfolded at Sycamore Shoals were critical to state and national history in the 18th century. These dramatic chapters in America’s westward expansion set the tone for a number of events that helped propel the British colonies towards independence and a democratic form of government. These stories are proudly shared with our guests during each performance of Liberty! The Saga of Sycamore Shoals. The 2014 season will also mark the 5th exciting year for Carter’s Trading Post, a venue named in honor of the original store opened by pioneers John Carter and partner
William Parker shortly after they arrived on the frontier in 1771. A fine menu of mouth watering treats will be offered each evening for Liberty! guests. During your visit to Sycamore Shoals, please plan to visit our new interpretive exhibit, shop in our Eastern National Gift Shop, and take in the sights and sounds of your Tennessee State Park. Liberty! runs Thursdays-Saturdays, July 10- 12, 17 – 19, and 24 -26, in the Fort Watauga Amphitheater at Sycamore Shoals State Historic Area in Elizabethton. Performances begin nightly at 7:30.
Tickets are $12 for adults, $10 for seniors (55 & over), and $5 for children (6 – 7 yrs of age). Children 5 and under are admitted free. This year we are pleased to offer a Family Cap Discount for Immediate members of one family of $39.00 (Parents and their children). Friends of Sycamore Shoals Members will be admitted for $6.00. Veterans Night is Thursday, July 17 – Veterans and one escort are admitted for Free for this performance. For more information, please call the park at (423) 543-5808 or visit: www.sycamoreshoalstn.org
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Folk singer Michael Corwin at The Acoustic Coffeehouse
Michael Corwin is a meticulous songwriter, from Toledo, Ohio. Michael grew up in a diverse musical home, with his mother performing regularly with both bar and swing bands throughout the Midwest. Michael spent his pre-teen years listening to his father’s vinyl and tapes, which inspired
him to start learning guitar from his dad. After high school, unsure of his future, Michael spent his days behind a chicken fryer and doing odd jobs to make money. At the age of 21, Michael began touring internationally and continued this for three years. After the demise of his band, his interest in classic artists such as, Steve Earle, Woody Guthrie, Lyle Lovett, and Townes Van Zandt began to influence his own songwriting. His music captures the joys and hardships of the common man, with songs that are relatable, authentic descriptions of life. His songs hold a nice balance of skilled musicianship with enduring melodies that create a brand of narrative country-folk that’s direct, yet poetic. Michael’s first full length album, “Last Cigarette Promises” is now available. Michael will be performing Friday, July 11th at The Acoustic Coffeehouse, 415 W. Walnut St., Johnson City TN 37604. Tour dates and streaming music can be found at: www.michaelcorwinmusic.com
Alex Guthrie
Director Michael Bay sure loves his action movies. One look at the directors filmography and I’m sure you will agree. Bay’s action movies have included “Bad Boys”, “Armageddon”, “Pain & Gain”, and of course the Transformers series. Mr. Explosion is back at the helm of “Transformers: Age of Extinction”, and the 165 minute film is action packed. I feel like these film can be described in three words: crush, kill, destroy. For a franchise I was never really crazy about to begin with (my apologizes to fans of the toys), I must say new life has been breathed into the series thanks to Mark Wahlberg. While the former star of the series, Shia LaBeouf, is off being being crazy, Wahlberg has impressively taken over the lead role in the series. The new film is set four years after the invasion of Chicago, and begins in Texas by introducing us to Wahlberg’s character Cade Yeager, an inventor living in a small town with his daughter Tessa (Nicola Peltz). Oh, and I will add the beginning of the film gives us a new explanation of how dinosaurs became extinct, which is perfect for this film. Meanwhile, back in Texas, Cade has bought an old truck to use for parts, but he discovers the truck is actually Optimus Prime, the leader of the good guy Autobots. You see, Optimus Prime has fallen in disrepair because humans have declared all out
war on the Transformers, and they have been ruthlessly hunted down by a bounty hunter named Lockdown. While the Autobots are down to a precious few in number, the evil Decepticons have secretly teamed with a corporation called KSI, which is headed by Joshua Joyce (Staneley Tucci). Joyce and his company have the “brain” of Megatron, and are using said brain to create their own transformers. Eventually, Cade and his family and co-horts, including a character played by Irish actor Jack Reynor and one played by stand up comedian T.J. Miller are fighting along side Optimus Prime, Bumblebee and the rest. I could go on and on about the plot, but suffice to say the Transformers have epic battles in the States and in Beijing, China (so the movie will do well there). The human actors have plenty of time for emoting between the fights, and even Kelsey Grammer is on hand to add some sneering attitude. I must go back to Wahlberg, as he was one of the highlights of the film, and was able to stand out despite all the Transformers and chaos around his character. Some of the other actors don’t fare so well (Nicola Peltz does her best Paris Hilton), but Wahlberg saves the day, and the movie. While I expected little out a movie based on toys, I was pleasantly surprised by this LOUD “bubble gum” movie. (Rated PG-13) B
at The Acoustic Coffeehouse
Alex Guthrie may only be 20 years old, but when his honey-rich voice bathes you with his life-earned lyrics, you’ll say what everyone does ... “he’s an old soul.” Like a fine whiskey that starts rough and raw, but in an oak barrel, mellows to smooth, complex flavors, his voice builds from his toes - pure feeling - then rumbles through his chest, tempered by heart and emotion. The tone is clear and strong, but with grit and guts too – a great mahogany board polished smooth as glass, but still the grain is strong, swirling and proud. Listening to his grab-you-by-the-shirtand-pull-you-in-tight voice, you could almost fail to notice Alex’s chops on the guitar ... almost. Whether it is the crying wail of
slide guitar, speaking in call-and-response to Alex’s words or his fingers dancing across the neck in soul-filled solo, his guitar never fails to impress. With influences including Otis Redding, Van Morrison, Marc Broussard, and Ray LaMontagne, Alex’s genre goes by different names to different people. Folk-Rock, Blues, or Americana; the listener’s preference is likely to influence his or her categorization. What they all agree on, though, is that it’s great music ... or as Alex sometimes says with a broad, sideways grin, Great Folk’in Music. Alex will be playing at the Acoustic Coffeehouse, Friday Juy 11th at 10pm. For more information, visit AlexGuthrieMusic.com
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Pop Goes Perfection
I have finally come to terms with the fact that I am something of a perfectionist. I have no idea what side of the family this comes from, it doesn’t seem to be present in any member. It comes out in a big way during a party. Usually if I am fixing some meal and I want it to be extra perfect and wonderful. I can worry myself into a panic over minute details that nobody else will care about, but God help you if the turkey isn’t at ninety degree angle on the platter! OK, that’s an extreme example, the turkey can sit a little off sided, but if it’s not the right shade of toasty doneness... One might assume that having a touch of perfectionism can also be an indication of a little bit of OCD. In this case, I’d say you’re a little right. I’m pretty sure I have a very mild touch of OCD, but then again I think science has said we all have a little of it. I can be notoriously picky with bedsheets, to the point that it’s almost ridiculous. I toss and turn at night, so I like some sheets that will grip the sides of my bed quite tenaciously. I’ll spend up to twenties minutes making my bed in order to make sure the fitted shit lays the way I want it to, and is tucked in firm to prevent all the material from forming around me during my sleep. Even while I walk around the bed double checking everything, I know it’s completely crazy. It’s so obvious I’m teetering on the brink, that even my cat looks at me with an expression that reads “I’m not so sure about you anymore, but will it affect my kibble?” Parties is when my perfectionism comes out the strongest. Take my annual Christmas bash, last year the perfectionism starts with the cleaning. Like a crazed person, I scour every nook and cranny of my abode, even the ones I know no one will be going in during the festivities.
Then comes the food for the party, and that is when I become super anxiously critical of everything. Last Christmas, before I gave you my heart, I thought that a good idea for the party would be a plate of cupcakes decorated in a tight group to give the look of the Humble Bumble from the beloved Rankin-Bass “Rudolph” TV Christmas special. As I baked the cupcakes and began to frost them according to the directions that I have made on super fancy graph paper. About half way during the frosting process, I noticed that my little brilliant idea for an adorable mass of Humble Bumble cupcakes was
going quite wrong. It looked like a mass of just blue and white and flecks of black decorator’s gel. I began to panic, “Christmas is ruined!” I thought to myself. I ran around the house thinking desperately what to do in order to fix the situation, and I may have blacked out for 15 minutes, but I don’t like to talk about that. When I woke and found myself in my bathtub, it hit me. The perfect plan to save the Humble Bumble mass was to change it into something different using the same themes of color. In a fit of panic and fear of a party being ruined by cupcakes, I took my spatula and smooshed all the frosting
together, making a big blue/white swirl look. I informed my guests that the cupcakes where a tribute to when Sonic the Hedgehog would go into spinball mode in his video games. This was not considered odd by any of my guests, as I keep a Sega Genesis hooked up to the TV in my living room, because I am sexy like that. In the end the fret and worry
that I put into these things are not worth the energy, my perfectionism isn’t likely to go away anytime soon, but it does appear to be more manageable than it once was. For now though, I must go, I have to make a Reptar costume for an upcoming party and I’ve gone through eight different ones already, lots of green fabric astray in my house. See you next week.
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Breaking News from My Dumb House In his very intriguing study, The Architecture of Happiness (2006), Alain de Botton discusses an observation made by John Ruskin who “proposed that we seek two things from our buildings. We want them to shelter us. And we want them to speak to us—to speak to us of whatever we find important and need to be reminded of.” In other words, our architecture, like our art, reveals a great deal about our needs and desires, and we should ever be attentive to what our surroundings are telling us. Well, today our buildings, and especially our houses, are getting ready to literally speak to us in a manner that would astound (and perhaps amuse) Ruskin. We are, after many false starts and even more false promises, about to enter the era of the smart house. Except me, of course. I still take considerable pride in living in a dumb house, but am nevertheless fascinated by any houses that are smarter than mine. Last week’s Time magazine, both print and online versions, focused our attention on the latest trends in smart house design and featured profiles on two new startup companies—SmartThings and Nest—that are working round the clock to transform your home into more than just a place to hang your hat. In fact, if Tony Fadell, Nest Labs CEO and his counterpart over at SmartThings, Alex Hawkinson, have their way, you might discover that your new Bluetooth-equipped hat rack not only reminds you to hang your hat on it, but will also notify you if you leave home bareheaded. According to Hawkinson, “We’re at the outset of this wave where . . .your home can give you security, peace of mind, and more. Eventually, everything that should be connected will be connected.” Threat or promise? And his definition of what should be connect-
ed includes practically everything associated with your house. What we’re talking about here is the socalled “internet of things,” a term that describes the appearance of internet-capable appliances, tools, wearables, and other gadgets designed to keep you constantly connected to the world of online information and interactivity. According to the Time piece by Sam Frizell, “SmartThings, which has built a first-of-its-kind platform that allows the objects in your home—doors, locks, lightbulbs, even sprinkler systems—to talk to one another and prioritize your needs” is set to invade your living space. All you need to bring this wonderful world of constantly-connected stuff into your homeowner experience is “a smartphone, a $200 starter kit (including sensors and a hub they sync with) and a wild imagination.” However, this may only be just the beginning, because the challenge right now is settling on a common digital platform on which to run our smart houses. And the bottom line is “Whoever creates the most compelling platform will not only
revolutionize how we live but also command a huge share of what’s expected to be a $12 billion annual business within five years.” The goal of these companies and others is of course to turn your house into a total command center that will change the way we think about connectivity. In fact, connectivity in the smart house will be transparent and ubiquitous. But we don’t have to wait for most of these innovations. Many of them are probably in your house right now. The Time article has a page listing some of the things that you can install tomorrow. Drumroll, please. How about a cute little piggy bank that knows how much money is stashed inside it at all times? Or, just for your pets, a smart doggie feeder that can “be programmed to dole out food automatically”—and for a mere $200! I didn’t make this next one up, believe me— how about a “Bluetooth-enabled toothbrush that tracks your brushing habits”? Tired of your old uninspiring bathroom scales? Replace them with a new smart scale that not only embarrasses you with
your weight but also checks your pulse, and for some inexplicable reason, monitors your bathroom’s air quality (doesn’t sound too pleasant to me). And, yes, there’s a crock pot that lets you monitor all your settings and cooking progress remotely from your mobile devices. If all this is not enough (another drumroll, please), you can install a set of shades that can be adjusted up and down from your mobile device, using a shade app; we can only wonder if there is an app that will get your lazy butt off the couch long enough to actually do something, like adjusting shades and changing the water in your pet feeder. Needless to say, to complete our very incomplete list, lightbulbs are now available that are app-controllable, allowing you to create your own mood lighting remotely. Now all we need is an app that remotely changes the lightbulb. One of the more interesting developments in smart living are all sorts of touchless technologies. You’ve already seen this kind of thing at work when you use a public bathroom paper towel dis-
penser that rolls out the towels when you wave your hand in front of the red sensor. And, you’ve no doubt been able to wash your hands without touching a faucet in these bathrooms as well. Get ready for this stuff in the privacy of your own home. Delta is marketing something called Touch2O that works with your water faucets. According to the ad, you can “simply tap anywhere on the spout or handle of the faucet to start and stop the flow of water.” There will no doubt also be an app for that soon, if it (or multiple ones) is/are not already available. And touchless technology has arrived for your toilet. No more jiggling the handle—just wave your hand over the top of the toilet tank and thrill to the flushing sound. Will wonders never cease? But what happens when all this touchless technology screws up? And you know if will at some point. Will there be an app for that? For some time now, we have been told to prepare ourselves for the Internet of Things (IOT). Well, that day is apparently here. Now you have yet another choice to make—Smart Home or Dumb Home? Real estate agents are probably preparing for the various sales pitches they can use on prospective buyers. I can see the ads now. In addition to a two-car garage, walk-in closets, and pet doors we will see abbreviations like TT (touchless toilet). Wouldn’t want a house without it. Now that I’ve run out of things to say, I will leave you to assess the intelligence quotient of your house. While you do that, I will get out of my chair and close my blinds manually. And my cats are hungry so I need to go fill their bowl the old-fashioned way. I would definitely welcome an app that would do that chore for me. See you next week with more news from my Dumb House.
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