The Loafer March 28th by The Loafer

theloaferonline.com | March 28, 2017

on the cover

Volume 31 • Issue #17

Tennessee Celebrates

Publisher Luci Tate

Craft Beer Month

Editor Graphic Arts Director Don Sprinkle Cover Design Bill May

Contributing Staff Jim Kelly Andy Ross Ken Silvers Mark Marquette Brian Bishop Daniel Worley Jason Worley Langley Shazor Distribution Jerry Hanger Teresa Hanger Published by Pulse Publishing, LLC., P.O. Box 3238, Johnson City, TN 37602 Phone: 423/283-4324 FAX - 423/283-4369 www.theloaferonline.com info@theloaferonline.com e-mail: editorial@theloaferonline.com adcopy@theloaferonline.com All advertisements are accepted and published by the publisher upon the representation that the agency and/ or advertiser is authorized to publish the entire contents and subject matter thereof. The agency and/or advertiser will indemnify and save the publisher harmless from any loss of expense resulting from claims or suits based upon contents of any advertisement, including claims or suits for defamation, libel, right of privacy, plagiarism, and copyright infringement.

Founder: Bill Williams Let’s Get Social!

columns & reviews

Office Coordinator Amanda Lane

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Batteries Not Included So You Think Your Microwave is Spying on You Stargazer E.T. Might Dig Chuck Berry Skies This Week Pop Life The Festival of Nations Appalachian Wanderers Dollywood's Year of the Family The Casual Word Hallow Suits Puzzle Page Kelly’s Place "Johnny, This Ain't No Good": The Many Ghosts of Chuck Berry

your week’s line-up

Advertising Dave Carter Patti Barr Shawn Hale Paul Kavanaugh Julie Noecker

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It's Craft Beer Month! Craft Beer Month: Holston River Brewing Co. Craft Beer Month: Bristol Station Brews & Taproom Craft Beer Month: Studio Brew Live from ETSU AMEn Seeking New Members Gracie Lane @ Acoustic Coffeehouse Tree Giveaway Spotlight JRT presents Sister Act 2nd Annual Craft Bazaar Son of Sorrow The Billies Return Pets Of The Week Things To Do

theloaferonline.com | March 28, 2017

All Around Tennessee,

It's CRAFT BEER MONTH!

April is Craft Beer Month in Tennessee and it’s official. The State House voted last year to designate this month long occasion. Representative Jon Lundberg initiated the resolution to recognize the major growth among brewers in the Volunteer State. Brewery Articles by: Paul Kavanaugh

nd so it is in our region. From Damascus to Greeneville, Abingdon to the Tri Cities and many points in between, craft breweries and those establishments serving, selling and supporting their wares are perhaps the fastest growing segment of the business population. The Loafer decided to take an in depth look at this phenomenon in honor of Craft Beer Month. But before we do that, a big Loafer Shout-Out to two of Johnson City’s top notch breweries, JRH Brewing and Johnson City Brewing Co. These two fine establishments were the beer sponsors/

donors for last week’s Pie Wars fundraising event at The Venue in downtown JC benefiting the Boys and Girls Club. Judging from the long lines throughout the evening, the patrons thoroughly enjoyed the various offerings. Well done guys! It’s easy to write descriptions of beers, you can get that info easily on the internet. We wanted to pull the covers back a little and get the story within the story. To that end, we interviewed three local Master Brewers, two of whom are also the proprietors of their establishments. What follows is a bit of the inside story of these three

gentlemen, Ken Monyak of Bristol Station Brews and Taproom, Erich Allen of Studio Brew, both proprietors, and Adam Bailey, the Master Brewer at Holston River Brewing Company. As you might expect, Adam was more focused on the beers while Ken and Erich wanted to tell the story of their businesses as well as their beers. So, here is a brief history lesson on beers, breweries and some true local characters. Now that we have whetted your appetite, go visit a local establishment and enjoy a craft beer. You’re sure to find one – or more – that you really like!

Brewer: Adam Bailey Brewery: Holston River Brewing Company

dam started experimenting with home brews, realized he liked it and decided to pursue a career. He attended South College in Knoxville, the Brewery Science curriculum, and then spent several years working at various breweries in Fresno, in Nevada and at a distillery. When he returned to the Tri Cities

area, he got the job at Holston River, and the rest, as they say, is history. Adam tells us that it starts with the water. He gauges the mineral profile and makes some subtle adjustments depending on what he is brewing. He believes that the combination of malts and hops is the centerpiece of his brews, and has at his disposal an arsenal

of different malts depending on the hops he intends to use, making sure that they complement each other. Hops, by the way, are what determines the overall bitterness of the batch. Adam brews many different types and flavors of craft beer at Holston River. We asked him about some of them:

IPAs Pale Ales

A hoppy beer, typically with a little higher gravity than most conventional beers.

Lagers

Essentially a “Pale Ale on steroids”, IPAs have 1 – 1 ½ % higher alcohol content than a pale ale. They originated in England when the brewers needed to send their beer by ship to India, thus a need to have it last longer. The additional hops, which have some antibacterial properties, and the higher alcohol content helped delay spoilage. By 1850 it had become one of the most popular styles of beer in England. Renditions of English IPA's were brewed in America using English and landrace varieties of hops, but the first modern American IPA was made by Anchor in 1975 and was quite hoppy in comparison to the beers of the time. Over the ensuing years, they have taken on many new characteristics as new hop varieties are developed, and are popular with the beer-drinking public. It's the best-selling craft beer and style most associated with craft beer.

Lagers typically take weeks to ferment and one or two months before they are ready to drink. Lagers are a broad class of beer, one of the two main classes, the other being ales. They are differentiated by the strain of yeast used for fermentation. Lagers are cold- aged beers typically using one or more varieties of German and Czech hops traditionally termed “noble hops.” Balancing the hops with the malts used is what enables brewers to come up with so many different types, including the signature 423 Blonde Ale popular at Holston River.

Ales

Ales are also often made using noble hops, but are more commonly made with English or American varieties. Using faster fermenting yeast, Ales can be ready in a week or two. Adam tells us that the yeast is the critical differentiator here. All the others you see are a result of the brewer’s art, adding adjunct ingredients, flavors and fruits at various times during the brewing process to either an ale or a lager. Different types of sugars are also used to increase the alcohol content. Yeast turns sugars into alcohol, so that makes a lot of sense. For example, the Holston River Vanilla Cream Stout uses lactose to sweeten the beer and then it ages on vanilla beans. But don’t take our word for it; visit Holston River and taste for yourself the wonderful products generated by this up and coming brewer!

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theloaferonline.com | March 28, 2017

Brewer: Ken Monyak Brewery: Bristol Station Brews & Taproom One of the seemingly ubiquitous brewery owners who started as a home brewer, Ken followed a rather unique path. By a rather fortunate circumstance, his wife had to work late on Wednesday evenings, so Ken and his neighbor began brewing beer those days. After a year and a half, and some 50 different beers (not all successes), he began to hone in on the craft. At parties at his house, he would serve these different beers, collect the comments and really let the brewer bug bite him. Then, he entered a local entrepreneur event in Bristol, won, and got the seed money to start his brewery. Two years later the old Greyhound Depot in downtown Bristol had been transformed into the Bristol Station Brews & Taproom.

t is a common tale among successful craft brewers that you experiment with different yeasts, hops, grains and malts. Ken’s take is to keep it relatively simple, not wanting to overwhelm people with too complex iterations. But at the same time, he wants to produce unique tastes and memorable beers. His ideas for new concoctions come from trying different beers and when he finds one he is drawn to, he goes back to the Station and tries to duplicate it with the refinements he thinks it needs. To achieve his desired result, Ken depends, and prefers to use, local suppliers. He buys some hops and grains locally and, for his adjunct ingredients, tries to be consistently local. This includes blueberries and strawberries from Scott Farms, local hops for his white IPA grown in Goose Pimple Junction, pumpkins from Jonesborough

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and ingredients for his chocolate coffee Porter sourced from SW Virginia. We asked Ken what his favorite beer was. His answers, while unsurprising, were inciteful. He prefers bocks and pumpkin beers in the fall, Porters and stouts in the cold months, IPAs in the spring and a variety of lighter lagers in the summer months. We find it hard to disagree with this assessment! At The Station, Ken typically keeps between 12 and 20 different brews on tap. That keeps him quite busy and there are occasions when you could visit and not find one that you had enjoyed previously. It will return, but Ken says that this is the perfect time to try something new. All brewers appreciate feedback, positive or negative. Ken loves to sit in the brewery on a Saturday afternoon when customers are most likely to buy flights – samples of 6 different beers – and ty them. He wants to know what

their opinion is, and, most importantly, why. The answers gained are what he believes are the keys to becoming the best brewer he can be. His favorite story is about a YWCA event last year. They wanted a pink beer to go along with an Empowering Women fundraising event and came to him to create it. Up to the challenge, Ken brewed a Belgian ale and used pomegranate and raspberry to create the color and enhance the flavor. Not only was it a hit, but he is brewing it again for this summer as it turned out to be a light, refreshing creation. Final word, Ken says “Come have a beer!”

I love The Loafer. Learn about different things and events happening around the region." James C.

theloaferonline.com | March 28, 2017

Brewer: Erich Allen Brewery: Studio Brew Like so many craft beer professionals, Erich started out as a home brewer. In 2008 Erich created his first craft beer not from a kit but from tasting grains and hops while researching beer styles throughout the world. His first beer was an all grain Belgium Triple which is on tap at his brewery in Bristol. “This was a moment in

time because I finally realized what I wanted to do in my life”, says Erich. Before he founded his brewery, Erich and his wife Pamela visited some 48 different breweries around the country meeting with owners and brewers. They gained much insight on what to do but more importantly, what NOT to do!

am & Erich opened a 3 BBL Brewery in Colonial Heights in 2010 and quickly realized they needed to build a bigger brewery. It took four years, but Erich finally found a three-story eyesore in downtown Bristol, VA that was originally built in 1908 as a repository for Happy Valley Whiskey. They worked with the Commonwealth and the city of Bristol to create their current location, which is now a tourist destination and a production brewery. Erich is proud of this accomplishment because it meant “giving back” to Bristol and especially downtown. Erich sees himself, and indeed, the whole craft beer industry, as a way to give back to and use local vendors and talent. To that end, Studio Brew is adamant in sourcing as much product locally as possible. The couple take pride in offering 22 good paying jobs in the community and educating their staff. Erich will tell you that beer is an art, a very tasty art. In its essence, it is taking in grain and other ingredients, turning it

into a beer, getting it into a glass and then seeing the smile. Nothing makes him happier than someone trying one of his craft beers and generating one of those smiles. Everyone talks about wine pairings, but Erich insists that he can pair his craft beers with anything from food, spirits, emotions and even cigars for a wonderful experience. Because everything pairs with Craft Beer, he has branched out into several different fields. Studio Brew now offers their very own grass & spent grain fed beef "Brewsteer Meats". Pamela, an incredible bread maker, uses their spent grains and turns them into wonderful breads and even bread soup bowls. Nothing goes to waste. Studio Brew chefs incorporate their beers, spent grains and even hops to create amazing dishes that pair perfectly with their artisan craft beers. Studio Brew is an enthusiastic supporter of the local community and the arts. In addition to many different bands that have played at the establishment, they have hosted

various art projects, including a most interesting body art creation. He tells us that once the project got started, the focus was primarily on the art, not the models. Not always easy to do! Erich & Pam's core belief is to create a brewery where they can support other breweries, local businesses, local farmers and the people of the Tri-Cities. "Keep local dollars local" is very important to them. Erich enjoys visiting with craft beer fans from all over the region, the country and, indeed, the world. With so many amazing craft beers out there, Studio Brew is constantly pushing the boundaries. Some of his creations have aged in Bourbon barrels for many months, one up to 14 months. We applaud his interest in beer, but even more importantly, his interest in his fellow citizens. You need to visit Studio Brew, check out their hundred-year old building, and try one or more of the 18-24 beers currently available

theloaferonline.com | March 28, 2017

Live from ETSU

Mountain Stage to strike chords of bluegrass, jazz, Americana April at Mary B. Martin School of the Arts will begin with a stage chockfull of instruments, microphones, monitors, an “ON THE AIR” sign, a world-renowned emcee and the diverse music of five bands, from internationally known to local, from traditional bluegrass to new grass, New Orleans jazz and pure Americana.

n Sunday, April 2, at 7 p.m., that ON AIR sign will light up as Mountain Stage with Larry Groce returns to East Tennessee State University’s D.P. Culp Center Martha Culp Auditorium with a lineup of fanfavorites – Band of Ruhks, featuring Ronnie Bowman, Don Rigsby and Kenny Smith; the awardwinning Claire Lynch Band; the playful and jazzy Bumper Jacksons; folk storyteller and songwriter Otis Gibbs; and the ETSU Bluegrass Pride Band. Mountain Stage is a two-hour live performance radio program that airs on 211 public radio stations across America. Mountain Stage co-founder Larry Groce has been hosting the shows – that take place at the Culture Center Theater in Charleston, W.Va., or locales around the country – since the first episode in 1983. “We love having Mountain Stage at ETSU – for a number of reasons,” says Anita DeAngelis, director of event-sponsor Mary B. Martin School of the Arts. “Foremost, the mission of the Martin School has always been to offer a unique mixture of arts experiences to the people of the region, and Mountain Stage certainly brings a program full of great music of all kinds, combined with the excitement of a live radio show. “Mountain Stage also offers our Bluegrass, Old Time and Country Music Studies students valuable opportunities to meet and perform

with veteran entertainers and music newcomers, and finally, we like the

additional connection of WETSFM airing the ETSU show later this spring. It’s a single event with a wide spectrum of benefits for everyone.” Headliners for the ETSU show will be Band of Ruhks. Bluegrass household names Bowman, Rigsby and Smith performed together in the 1990s in The Lonesome River Band, embarked on personal musical journeys then reunited as the Rambling Rooks and finally, Band of Ruhks in 2014 and ’15. Their new sound is a hybrid of Americana, bluegrass, country and even a bit of pop, creating what Bluegrass Unlimited terms, “a fine example of 21st-century bluegrass.” “Make no mistake, this is not a Lonesome River Band reunion with someone else filling Sammy Shelor’s banjo role …” says Bluegrass Today.

“This isn’t merely Ronnie Bowman and friends. Smith and Rigsby aren’t just along for the ride. They’re full partners, adding sublime vocals and instrumental punch.” Claire Lynch’s biography is as storied as the Ruhks musicians’. Lynch, singer and songwriter, led the Front Porch String Band starting in the mid-1970s and worked as a session vocalist, before she formed her own Claire Lynch Band in 2005. She was named the IBMA Female Vocalist of the Year in 1997, and Dolly Parton credits Lynch with "one of the sweetest, purest and best lead voices in the music business today.” “She’s an intensely soulful singer, whose distinctive voice resonates with power and strength, yet retains an engaging innocence and crystalline purity,” says WPLN Nashville. “She’s also a songwriter of extraordinary ability.”

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their live shows,” says the Washington, D.C., City Paper, “beating on boxes and blowing on clarinets and trombone kazoos to create the ambiance of a lively New Orleans music hall.” Adding another shade of Americana will be Otis Gibbs, who hosts Country Built on Pandora and a podcast called Thanks for Giving a Damn. Gibbs calls himself “a songwriter, storyteller, painter, photographer and planter of 7,176 trees … simply … a folk singer.” His album, Mount Renraw, released in fall 2016, is full of “richly detailed song inspired by topics that interest Gibbs,” including historical figures, animals and events, roadside oddities he loves to visit and professional wrestlers, says The Tennessean newspaper. “Gibbs’ songwriting is deeply personal and profound,” says Rolling Stone. “It’s plain to see Otis Gibbs is a man you should give a damn about.” Rounding out the April 2 program is the ETSU Bluegrass Pride Band, composed of program director Daniel Boner and award-winning student performers with many years of musical experience. The group has performed abroad, as well as at the Smithsonian National Folklife Festival, NATO Headquarters in Brussels and the Kennedy Center. The 2017 ETSU Bluegrass Pride Band includes Max Etling on bass; Ben Watlington on mandolin; Aaron Foster on guitar; Brady Wallen on banjo; and Grand Master Fiddler Champion Aynsley Porchak on fiddle. Boner leads the band and joins on fiddle and guitar. "We are very excited for Mountain Stage to once again visit the campus of Tickets in advance for Mountain Stage with Larry Groce are $10 for students ETSU,” Boner says. “Mountain Stage has such a wonderful history of bringing of all ages with ID, $25 for seniors 60-plus, and $30 for general admission. At together traditionally based musicians from a variety of backgrounds, just the door, tickets will be $35 general, $30 senior 60-plus and $10 students. as we do here in ETSU Bluegrass, Old Time & Country Music Studies. Group rates are available. To purchase tickets online or for information about ETSU Mary B. Martin It’s certainly a privilege for our Bluegrass Pride Band, members School of the Arts and its events, visit www.etsu.edu/martin or call 423-439of which are some of the university’s top student musicians, to TKTS (8587).

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be featured alongside bluegrass stars like the Band of Ruhks and Claire Lynch, as well as folk musicians Otis Gibbs and the Bumper Jacksons."

Mountain Stage with Larry Groce is a production of West Virginia Public Broadcasting and distributed by NPR Music.

ETSU BLUEGRASS PRIDE BAND

theloaferonline.com | March 28, 2017

CLAIRE LYNCH BAND

Lynch’s band includes two-time IBMA-winning bassist/claw-hammer banjo player/percussionist Mark Schatz, soulful mandolinist/guitarist Jarrod Walker and young string wizard Bryan McDowell. Bringing an eclectic and playful spirit to the April 2 bill is Bumper Jacksons, an established sextet that folds together early styles of jazz, blues and country swing with rich threads of Americana. Florida native Jess Eliot Myhre teamed with fellow song-crafter Chris Ousley are the core of the group, which has won Artist of the Year and Best Folk Band honors at the Washington Area Music Awards. Myhre calls her group “a ragtag team … that loves early sounds and getting people riled up to boogie.” “The Bumper Jacksons fully commit to the old-timey vibe during

theloaferonline.com | March 28, 2017

So You Think Your Microwave is Spying on You Of course I thought it was absurd when the news went around a few weeks ago that your common household microwaved could be used as tool for spying. I’ve never known of a microwave to be so powerful as to have hidden communication tools inside it. Mine is mostly used for popcorn and heating up leftovers. But I noticed something very strange the other night. It was late at night and I was hungry. I raided for my freezer for nature’s own miracle food--the Hot Pocket.

Batteries Not Included

By Andy Ross aross@ theloaferonline.com

he Hot Pocket is the king of late night eats, as when I’m tired and starving, I always like to reach for food that contains a filling the temperature of the sun. Yet I couldn’t help but notice something strange after my Hot Pocket had finished cooking. As I was taking the plate out of the microwave, I thought I heard a tiny handed voice saying “Sad!” Come the morning I assumed this must have been a late night starving illusion. Now it was early in the morning and I was waiting for my coffee to finish brewing. Sometimes when I have my iPhone I’ll just shout out “Hey, Siri” and ask about my day. In my non-caffeinated state I didn’t realize that my iPhone was still in my bedroom. Not knowing this I shouted out “Hey, Siri!” and right as I realized I was a fool for not having my phone on me--my microwave answered. This is when my personal paranoia began. If my

microwave was now compromised, what other household appliances might be spying on me as well? Is my whirlpool tub actually scanning me while I try to soak in bubbly luxury? What of my toaster? Does my toaster transcribe my grandmother’s precious recipes back to some holding house in an undisclosed location? After having spent an entire night not sleeping, fraught with worry about this, I soon found myself covering everything I own with Reynold's Wrap. I also realized that my Amazon Echo may be the biggest problem in the home. I chucked my Alexa powered speaker out the window while yelling “Get out of here, you mole!” Granted, I may be getting a bit carried away and I have no proof of any of these things. But once you’ve gone to washing yourself in the backyard in a large, galvanized bucket, you’ll never go back to showers again. See you next week.

Appalachian Men’s Ensemble (AMEn) invites male singers to join them for the remaining concert of their 2016-2017 concert season. Open auditions will be held on Tuesday, April 4 from 6:00-7:30 p.m. in the Chapel at Munsey Memorial United Methodist Church, 201 E Market St, Johnson City. No appointment is necessary; arrive anytime. Singers should prepare a brief solo (two minute maximum length) that is unaccompanied or self-accompanied.

usic can be of any style. If you are interested but unable to attend the open audition, individual appointments can be scheduled with the Artistic Director. Contact AMEn at AppalachianMensEnsemble@ gmail.com to schedule an audition appointment or for more information. AMEn is an all-male vocal ensemble of auditioned voices from throughout the greater Tri-Cities area. The group is dedicated to performing a wide range of choral repertoire – both sacred and secular – from the late Middles Ages to the present. AMEn’s programming and presentation of music is vast and varied, featuring a capella pieces, accompanied songs, rock and pop arrangements, and classical

works from a variety of cultures. AMEn is unique in its formation and execution, representing one of the few American male choral ensembles of its size to perform music of such a demanding caliber while also programming popular arrangements and familiar standards. The group rehearses in a three week period prior to each concert. Rehearsal time vary but are generally Tuesday and Thursday evenings. AMEn was founded in the fall of 2013. Dr. Alan Stevens is the Artistic Director. Stevens is also currently the Associate Director of Choral Activities at East Tennessee State University. Concert updates and additional information about can be found on their website: www. AppMensEnsemble.org or on Facebook at: www.Facebook. com/AMEnEnsemble

theloaferonline.com | March 28, 2017

Appalachian Men’s Ensemble Seeking New Members

theloaferonline.com | March 28, 2017

espite an almost complete lack of a music scene in the small town where she lived, Gracie was able to find a few like-minded folks at sparse open mics and gatherings. This eventually led to the formation of The Jaypan Fans- a three piece comprised of Gracie on rhythm guitar and vocals, Amanda Rodriguez-Olivo on rhythm guitar, bass, and vocals, and Ryan Dickerson on lead guitar. The trio played as many events and music nights at the locals bars as they could get their hands on, focusing heavily on harmonies and a southern sound. The trio occasionally rounded out their sound with Matthew Beavers on drums and Amy Leigh on dobro. Eventually, joined by a desire to do more with their music, Gracie and Amy started working on a sound as a duo, with an initial focus on Gracie’s songwriting and Amy’s trinkly dobro accompaniment. The duo grew exponentially together, building a fan base across the Midwest and relationships with many other musicians. The Ozark Mountain Maybelles were only able to record one self titled, six track EP. Now living in Asheville, North Carolina, Gracie is enjoying the challenges and triumphs of being a solo musician, and allowing this decompression time garner more focus on her songwriting. She does enjoy striking up a hot band, though.

Citizens are invited to a tree giveaway on 13 Saturday, April 1 at Metro-Kiwanis Park, 817 Guaranda Drive, from 9 a.m. until the supply of 2,500 seedlings run out. Seedlings will be distributed on a firstcome, first-served basis and will include Dogwood, Red Maple, Sweetgum, Bald Cypress and Swamp White Oak varieties. A limited number of seedlings will be available per person. theloaferonline.com | March 28, 2017

Born down on the Bayou of Southeast Louisiana, music and dancing were always a sizable part of life for Gracie’s family- something she always assumed was “normal.” At the age of four, she and her family moved (back) to Arkansas to be near her mother’s folks. It was there that Gracie eventually realized her need to create music.

Tree Giveaway Arbor Day observance, April 1st

Gracie Lane

@ The Acoustic Coffeehouse April 1st, 8:00pm. www.gracielanemusic.com

ince 2010, the City has celebrated Arbor Day by distributing a total of 20,450 trees to the public. This Arbor Day marks the 17th consecutive year that Johnson City has been named a Tree City USA by the National Arbor Day Foundation. To maintain the Tree City USA designation, the City must have an Arbor Day observance, a tree ordinance, a tree board, and meet the minimum funding requirements for tree maintenance and planting. “By participating in the Tree City USA program, Johnson City is able to highlight its commitment to green infrastructure for the benefit of citizens and visitors alike,” said City Forester Patrick Walding. “The annual recognition helps draw attention to the fact that trees and other plants are an important part of our community.”

Spotlight

- TUESDAY - Mar. 28th Downtown Country

If you or your band are playing in the upcoming week and would like to be in The Spotlight, call in advance to (423) 283-4324 or go online to: theloaferonline.com. Due to last minute cancellations or changes, please call the location to confirm.

- SATURDAY - Apr. 1st -

- FRIDAY - Mar. 31st Southern Countrymen Band

Southern Countrymen Band

Jiggy Ray’s Pizzeria

Bristol American Legion

Laura Thurston

Scotty Melton, Ty Hager & Kevin Abernathy

Acoustic Coffeehouse

- WEDNESDAY - Mar. 29th Brian Elmquist Solo

Down Home

Country Club of Bristol

Jiggy Ray’s Pizzeria

The Royal Hounds

Gracie Lane / Breadfoot

Wolf Hills Brewing

Acoustic Coffeehouse

James Meadows

- SUNDAY - Apr. 2nd -

Wild Wing Cafe

Beth Snapp

The Harvest Table

Open Mic

The Willow Tree Coffeehouse & Music Room

Brain Elmquist & The Lone Bellows

Down Home

Grand Theft Audio Wild Wing Cafe

Clint Black

Rusty Steel w/ Quarter Bounce

Niswonger Performing Arts Center

Country Club Bar & Grill

Middle Fork Record’s Performance

Anthony Wayne

Studio Brew

Bone Fire Smokehouse

JB5nDime

Alliez

The Willow Tree Coffeehouse & Music Room

Holston River Brewing Company

Silver Bullet/ WyldeHeart/ Jigsaw Jane

Brett Cammack / Martin Koop

Country Club Bar & Grill

Acoustic Coffeehouse

- SATURDAY - Apr. 1st -

Northeast State Center for the Performing Arts

Mal Cooper / Brian Ernst

Acoustic Coffeehouse

- THURSDAY - Mar. 30th ETSU Country Music Showcase

The Willow Tree Coffeehouse & Music Room

Jam with After Dark

Wellington’s Restaurant

The Blue Buds

Bristol’s Pickin’ Porch

Scotty Melton, Ty Hager & Kevin Abernathy Down Home

Floyd Strange w/ Stagolee and the Shifters Capone’s

Borderline Band

CJ’s Sports Bar

Southbound Band

Elizabethton Moose Lodge

Alliez

Kingsport Moose Lodge #972

Southern Breeze The Eagles Club

The PF Flyers

David Thompson’s Produce

Nostalgia Duo

Rock’s Wood Fired Pizza & Grill

Beard & Bearder

Wild Wing Cafe

Farmhouse Ghost

The Damascus Brewery

Sundown Band

Washington County Moose Lodge

EC Frazier

Model City Tap House

Marshall Ballew

Bone Fire Smokehouse

Momma Molasses

Blackbird Bakery

Trial By Fire

Wild Wing Cafe

Borderline

CJ’s Sports Bar

Railway Express

Country Club Bar & Grill

Nostalgia Duo

Rock’s Wood Fired Pizza & Grill

- FRIDAY - Mar. 31st -

Larry Sigmon & Martha Spencer Carter Family Fold

Bluegrass Sweethearts

RBTS WIN w/ These are Angles

Bone Fire Smokehouse

The Jawbones

Rock’s Wood Fired Pizza & Grill

Capone’s

Yee Haw Brewing Company

The Diamonds

Bill & The Belles

Bone Fire Smokehouse

Open Mic

Acoustic Coffeehouse

Northeast State Center for the Performing Arts

The Billies

Rusty Steel w/ Quarter Bounce

Holston River Brewing Company

The Billies • Wednesday, Mar. 29th

theloaferonline.com | March 28, 2017

- MONDAY - Apr. 3rd Open Mic

Acoustic Coffeehouse

Open Mic

Rock’s Wood Fired Pizza & Grill

for show time & more details, visit

theloaferonline.com

Corner Pocket 1742 Edgemont Avenue Bristol, TN 423-844-0369

Rock’s Wood Fired Pizza & Grill 3119 Bristol Hwy. Johnson City 423-262-0444

Alfredo’s Mediterranean & Italian Restaurant 812 Commonwealth Avenue Bristol, VA 276-644-3030

Country Club Bar & Grill 3080 W State St Bristol 423-844-0400

Sonny’s Marina & Café 109 One Street Gray, TN 423-282-9440

Down Home 300 W. Main St. Johnson City 423-929-9822

Valentino’s Italian Restaurant 1501 King College Road Bristol, TN 423-968-7655 or 1101 Volunteer Parkway Bristol, TN 423-444-6394

Athens Steakhouse 105 Goodson Street Bristol, VA 276-706-6927 Bone Fire Smokehouse at the Hardware 260 W Main St Abingdon VA 276-623-0037 Borderline Billiards 628 State Street Bristol, TN 423-989-7665

Holiday Inn (Exit 7) 3005 Linden Dr. Bristol VA 276-466-4100 Holston River Brewing Company 2621 Volunteer Pkwy Bristol TN Model City Tap House 324 E Market St. Kingsport 423-765-0875

Wild Wing Café 71 Wilson Avenue Johnson City TN 423-461-0071 Zachary’s Steak House 724 State Street Bristol, TN 423-239-8100 and 4223 Fort Henry Drive Kingsport, TN 423-239-8100

KARAOKE

Alliez

Friday, Mar. 31st • Holson River Brewing Saturday, Apr. 1st • Kingsport Moose

CJ’S Sports Bar 516 Morelock St. Kingsport 423-390-1361

Eatz on Moore Street 17 Moore Street Bristol, VA 276-591-4755

Karaoke w/ Tina and West at Dawg House Tavern Karaoke At Numan’s - Johnson City TN *********************** WEDNESDAY Karaoke w/ Southern Sounds Karaoke at American Legion 8pm Karaoke w/ DJ Marquez & Open Mic Entertainment at Holston River Brewing Company Karaoke w/ Absolute Entertainment at Smokey Bones - Johnson City TN Turn the Page Karaoke At VFW Post 2108 - Johnson City TN *********************** THURSDAY Karaoke w/ Absolute Entertainment at Macado’s - Kingsport Karaoke At Numan’s - Johnson City TN Karaoke w/ Absolute Entertainment at New Beginning’s Karaoke at Jiggy Rays Pizzaria ***********************

FRIDAY Karaoke w/ Southern Sounds Karaoke at Sportsman’s Bar & Grill 9pm Karaoke at Kingsport Moose Lodge Karaoke w/ Reverb Karaoke at The Cottage 8:30 pm Turn the Page Karaoke at VFW Post 2108 - Johnson City TN Karaoke at CJ’s Sports Bar Karaoke at BoBo’s - Damascus VA Karaoke At Elizabethton VFW - Elizabethton TN Karaoke w/ DJ Marques At Holiday Inn (Exit 7) - Bristol VA Karaoke w/ Absolute Entertainment at Moe’s Original BBQ Karaoke At Numan’s - Johnson City TN *********************** SATURDAY Karaoke at The Horseshoe Lounge Karaoke at Kingsport Moose Lodge Turn the Page Karaoke at VFW Post 2108 - Johnson City TN Karaoke w/ Absolute Entertainment At Macado’s - Kingsport Karaoke At Numan’s - Johnson City TN ***********************

15 theloaferonline.com | March 28, 2017

SPOTLIGHT DIRECTORY

Acoustic Coffeehouse 415 W Walnut St. Johnson City 423-434-9872

theloaferonline.com | March 28, 2017

E.T. Might Dig Chuck Berry Time: 42,017 AD Place: An interstellar space cruiser near the star Gliese 445 seen from planet Earth in the constellation Camelopardalis, near the North Pole star Polaris in Ursa Minor. Event: Extraterrestrials bring aboard their intergalactic spaceship an alien probe found zipping along at 30,000 mph. It is tarnished and tattered by cosmic radiation and debris, evidence of its long journey through space. Attached to the battered spacecraft is a gold disk and visual directions to spin the disk with the enclosed needle amplified in the tiny grooves.

Stargazer

By Mark Marquette since 1996 stargazermarq@ gmail.com

Copies of the “Golden Disk” are immediately made and sent to the home planet, where superiors quickly begin to analyze and dissect this obvious time capsule from an alien world. The ET Commander and his subordinates also begin to crudely work on the 12-inch Gold Disk. They get a report from their command post leadership that they have traced the spacecraft trajectory backwards and they surmise this interstellar spacecraft is a probe from a civilization 17 Light Years away. And through quick analysis of the hidden clues on this Golden Disk, they determine it was made and sent to space about 40,000 years ago. The ET’s on the spaceship continue analyzing the solid gold disk and its simple graphic data that tells about inhabitants on the third world from the parent star. And then they rig up the enclosed needle in the grooves, begin to hear the sounds on the Gold Disk: There are instrumentals from someone called Bach, Beethoven and Mozart; screeching chants from creatures called Aborigine and Pygmy. Even something called Mexican Mariachi. And then there is a loud ruckus and rapid series of noises punctuated by the voice of a creature, presumed to be one of the figures carved into the gold disk… Deep down in Louisiana close to New Orleans Way back up in the woods among the evergreens There stood a log cabin made of earth and wood Where lived a country boy named Johnny B. Goode Who never ever learned to read or write so well But he could play the guitar just like a ringin' a bell Go go…Go Johnny go Go, go…Go Johnny go Go, go…Go Johnny go Go, go…Go Johnny go Go Johnny B. Goode The ETs begin tapping their appendages, and those crowded around are listening and nodding as they take in the sounds of this strange dialect. The rhythmic sounds end after a scant two minutes thirty-eight seconds. The noise ends and more segments of varying sounds and words continues with offerings from creatures of Bulgaria, China, Navajo, India and creatures called Blind Willie Johnson and Louis Armstrong. All the ETs seem agitated hearing something called “Bagpipes.” Other ET technicians are analyzing the gold cover that contains diagrams and easily recognizable formulas for hydrogen atoms and other constants of the Universe. One ET motions to the technician to replay that section on the Golden disk called “Johnny B. Goode by Chuck Berry.” He used to carry his guitar in a gunny sack Go sit beneath the tree by the railroad track Oh, the engineers would see him sittin' in the shade Strummin' with the rhythm that the drivers made

The people passin' by they would stop and say Oh my but that little country boy could play Go go…Go Johnny go Go, go…Go Johnny go Go, go…Go Johnny go Go, go…Go Johnny go Go Johnny B. Goode Another ET technician comes into the room and says the superiors at home have discovered three other incredible divisions in the Golden Disk: one with 116 images of creatures living on a place called Earth; another with 55 different language statements from what are called “world leaders,” and a final section of “nature sounds” from creatures called birds and whales, and things like “ocean waves” and “thunder.” The ET commander waves an appendage to silence the technician and a hush falls in the room as the alien sounds bounce off the spaceship walls. His mother told him "Someday you will be a man, And you will be the leader of a big old band. Many people comin' from miles around To hear you play your music when the sun go down Maybe someday your name will be in lights Saying Johnny B. Goode tonight." Go go…go Johnny go Go go…go Johnny go Go go…go Johnny go Go go…go Johnny go Go, Johnny B. Goode They play the Golden Record again from the start with those curious sounds from places on Earth called Senegal, Solomon Islands, Peru, Japan and Mexico—and again they cover their sound sensors as those things called “bagpipes” wail. The ET commander huddles with his subordinates, asking their opinion of what this Golden Disk means to their own civilization. And they wonder how the ETs’ superior leadership on their home planet will respond to this obvious message in a bottle from a civilization on a planet orbiting a star they call “Sun.” The ETs brainstorm with amazement and curiosity while handling and analyzing the startling information on the Golden Disk. The clues etched on the gold disk lead them to surmise the primitive spacecraft must have been a scouting mission through the cosmos. “We must communicate with these, what they call earthlings,” said one of the ET subordinates. “I wonder what our leaders at home will want to say.” “I know what I’d say,” states the ET Commander turning to the gathering of subordinates. “How about “Send more Chuck Berry!” And all the ETs laugh, and begin spinning the alien Gold Record again in their favorite groove, singing along… “Go, Go, Go Johnny Go!”

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Thursday, Wed. March 30 The thin, crescent Moon hangs like a fingernail above the western horizon. You’ll really feel Daylight Saving Time this week when it takes from 8 pm sunset to almost 8:30 pm for the stars to come out. After your day of maybe church, recreation and friends, recharge your mind under stronomical hi-jinx on April Fool’s Day are no stranger to the nerdy science the canopy of Spring stars that are astounding to gaze upon. think-tanks in government and at universities. Some of the pranks over the years include: the revelation that the two moons of Mars are actually Friday, March 31 Martian satellites; Sea Monkeys discovered in Jupiter’s atmosphere; NASA On this date in space history, the mission of interplanetary spacecraft accepting applications for a new research center on the Moon; the Space Shuttle Pioneer 10 was officially ended by NASA. The first unmanned robot to accidentally landing in San Diego; and new research like the discovery of “bigon” visit Jupiter, it is the “grandfather” of today’s high-tech spacecraft New particles—just to keep the astronomical brethren on their toes. Watch out for Horizons, heading to a flyby of Pluto in July 2015. Twitters of alien invasions and Facebook posts of messages from Little Green Men. And as always, trust none of what you see or hear without giving it a serious Saturday, April 1 The Marquette Meteor Shower will begin shortly after dark and rain once over! hundreds of meteors an hour—NOT! Tuesday, March 28 New Moon today. The night sky is changing rapidly, and you can watch eight 1st Sunday, April 2 magnitude stars set below the western horizon before 11 pm. They are: Castor On this 1845 date in space history, the first photograph of the Sun was and Pollux in Gemini; below is Procyon in the Little Dog and the brightest star in taken by two French physicists. Today, several websites provide a live, the sky, Sirius in Canis Major; Rigel and Betelgeuse in Orion; Aldebaran in Taurus; 24/7 look at our most important star. And amateur astronomer John W ONeal II (correct spelling) posts daily his images of our favorite star on and high above, Capella in Auriga the Charioteer. his Facebook wall. Wednesday, March 29 On this 1974 date in space history, NASA’s Mariner 10 made the first close flyby Monday, April 3 of inner planet Mercury. Revealed was one of the most heavily cratered surfaces On this 1966 date in space history, the Soviet Union’s Luna 10 became in the Solar System, the small, 1,365 mile diameter planet looking much like our the first spacecraft to orbit the Moon. Today NASA has the Lunar 1,250 mile wide Moon. And after a perfect orbital mission by NASA’s Messenger Recognizance Orbiter (LRO) since June 2009 making close-up images of from April 2011-April 2015, we know the iron-heavy first planet has water ice the surface, and two spacecraft called Artemis P1 & P2 are in large orbits to study the solar wind striking our nearest neighbor in space. buried at its poles far away from an 800 degree hot, sulfur laden equator.

17 theloaferonline.com | March 28, 2017

THIS WEEK

SKIES

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Celestial events in the skies for the week of March 28 - April 3, 2017 as compiled for The Loafer by Mark D. Marquette.

theloaferonline.com | March 28, 2017

The Festival of Nations

This week I left the theater behind for the opening of Dollywood's 2017 season. One of my favorite festivals at Dolly's theme park, The Festival of Nations, runs through April 9th, and in my opinion, is a must attend event.

Pop Life

By Ken Silvers ksilvers@ theloaferonline.com

y adventure began with a visit to the DP Celebrity Theater to view Mother Africa, a spectacular show featuring performers from throughout the continent of Africa. The show is entitled "My Home", and features high-energy performers who perform amazing stunts. I'm not sure I have ever seen bowls used like they were in this show. Between spinning bowls, a kid being spun around, and amazing acrobats, this show should top your list when you visit the park. With a sense of exhilaration after seeing Mother Africa, it was on hear the amazing Invaders Steel Orchestra from Trinidad and Tobago. This group is highly respected throughout the world, and after one listen, you will understand why. The show opened with a foot tapping version of Michael Jackson's "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'", which just happens to be one of my favorite songs, and ended with an awe inspiring rendition of the "Hallelujah Chorus". Needless to say, the show ended with a well deserved standing ovation from the enthusiastic crowd. Be sure to stop by the Valley Theater to hear the thrilling Invaders Steel Orchestra. After dancing up the isle, it was time to head over to the Back Porch Theater to hear the husband and wife team of Dearbhail and Robin. Dearbhail, who hails from The United Kingdom, plays the flute, and wife Robin, from Ireland, plays the Irish harp. The duo are amazing musicians, and have played for royalty and presidents. Not only do they provide soothing sounds from the harp and flute, but their comedic banter, especially from Dearbhail, is a show of its own. The duo even took time for a few questions from the audience, which gave the show an imitate feel. After two shows featuring talented musicians, it was time to head over to the Showstreet Palace Theater to catch the Dollywood debut of Slask, a song and dance Ensemble from Poland. This colorful group, founded in 1953, has won many awards and performed for millions of people in over 45 countries. The show was a splash of color thanks to the many costumes worn by the dancers throughout the show, and the group is recognized as ambassadors of Polish

cultural tradition. The dancers are truly amazing making this a must see show during the festival. While heading over to the Heartsong Theater to see a group from Switzerland, my companions and I ran across Hodman & Sally, a couple of roaming characters from England, who are a delightful to watch, especially when they interact with kids. Keep and eye open for this hilarious roaming duo. The Heartsong Theater, with its "woods" theme decor, is the perfect fit for the Swiss group Streichmusik Alder. Dressed in traditional Swiss costumes, the group sings, yodels, and plays the alphorn among other instruments. As with the other shows, the Swiss had plenty of humor to accompany the excellent musicianship. The group even joked about the commercials for Ricola, which feature a Swiss gentleman. At the end of the show, the group offered to meet the crowd. After hanging out the the Swiss, we left the park while enjoying the always smooth sounds of Atahaupla, the talented musical group from Ecuador, who have appeared at the park for years in the Showstreet Gazebo. Be sure to pause and listen to a few songs from Atahaupla, and you will immediately feel a wave of peace wash over you. In between international shows, I suggest stopping by the newly named Front Porch Cafe, formerly called The Backstage. All I can say is yummy. I was sad to see my time at Dollywood's Festival of Nations end, but all the unique entertainment left me clamoring for a return visit. To see some of the best performers the world has to offer, be sure to visit Dollywood before the end of the festival on April 9th. Visit www.dollywood. com or call 1-800-Dollywood for park hours and additional information.

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theloaferonline.com | March 28, 2017

Sister Act

The feel-good musical comedy The Jonesborough Repertory Theatre invites you to spend a couple hours of solid good fun at their production of the musical Sister Act, running from March 31st through April 23rd at the theatre located at 125½ West Main Street in Jonesborough.

ister Act is a feel-good musical comedy smash based on the hit 1992 film that had audiences jumping to their feet. Featuring original music by Tony winner and eight-time Oscar winner Alan Menken (Newsies and Beauty & the Beast), this uplifting musical was nominated for five Tony Awards, including Best Musical. When disco diva, Deloris Van Cartier, witnesses a murder, she is put in protective custody in the one place the cops are sure she won't be a found: a convent. Disguised as a nun, she finds herself at odds with the rigid lifestyle of Mother Superior. Using her unique disco moves and singing talent to inspire the choir, Deloris breathes new life into the church and community but, in doing so, blows her cover. Soon, the gang members are giving chase, only to find that they’re up against Deloris and the

power of her newly found sisterhood. Filled with powerful disco music, outrageous dancing, and a truly moving story, Sister Act will leave audiences breathless. Sister Act—based on the book by Cheri and Bill Steinkellner, with lyrics by Glenn Slater—is directed by Janette Gaines, with music direction by Jennifer Ross and choreography by Brittany Kyte Whitson. Shows will run on Fridays and Saturdays at 7:30 p.m, and Saturdays and Sundays (except for Easter) at 2:00 p.m. There is also a show Thursday, April 20th, at 7:30 p.m. Tickets are $16 general admission, $14 for students and seniors. To purchase tickets, call the Historic Jonesborough Visitors Center at 423.753.1010 or go online to www. jonesboroughtheatre.com. The theatre is located at 125½ W. Main Street, Jonesborough, TN.

2nd Annual Craft Bazaar, Bake Sale and Silent Auction The Jonesborough United Methodist Church Sisters of Faith Group are hosting their 2nd annual Craft Bazaar, Bake Sale and Silent Auction on Saturday April 8, 2017 from 10am till 5pm. Over 25 local artists will be there with handmade items such as jewelry, dog treats, crocheted items, hair bows, kitchen

accessories, candles, pottery, paper quilling, soap, wood turned items, repurposed crafts, doll clothing, and much more. Items in the silent auction include a stay at a bed and breakfast, jewelry items, quilts, new and vintage, pottery and much more. Silent Auction will be from 10am – 4pm.

The Passion of Christ as Seen Through His Family’s Eyes

Here for One Last Season!

Lamplight Theatre is producing its 12th Easter musical of the passion of Christ this season, a show in which they feel is one of the best in LampLight history. “Son of Sorrows” premiered in 2015 and will don the stage one last season with another cast of almost 100 actors beginning this month. The authentic costumes, elaborate set design, new original songs, and a beautiful story will take you on a journey to Biblical Jerusalem in an incredible display of the last days of Jesus Christ.

on of Sorrows” is told through the eyes of Mother Mary and Jesus’ brothers and sisters. As Jesus embraces His destiny to suffer as the Messiah, conflict arises among His blood brothers who try to keep Jesus from getting himself killed. Family ties are tested and a mother’s heart is pierced as Jesus chooses to follow the will of His heavenly Father. From witnessing miracles and seeing Jesus’ compassion for the outcast, all doubt and confusion culminate at the cross. Who will be the ones to follow Jesus no matter the cost? Come and experience the power of Christ’s life, death, and resurrection in “Son of Sorrows”. Performances will begin March 31st and will run through April 23rd. Shows will run nightly Wednesdays through Saturdays at 7 PM with additional matinees on Saturdays and Sundays. Saturday matinees will be at 2:00 PM and Sunday matinees at 3:00 PM. No performances on Mondays and Tuesdays. Doors will open one hour prior to the

performances. Admission is a suggested donation of $10 Adults, $5 Students, Free for children 5 & under. “Youth Night” will be Thursday, April 13th. Church youth groups and all other youth are invited to a mini-concert and challenge by Billy Wayne and Tattered Saints at 6:15 PM, prior to the performance. Dinner Theatre packages in “The Emporium” next door to the theatre are now available! What a better way to start the evening than with a catered meal before the show! Dinner is offered April 1st and 15th at 12:30 pm (before the 2pm performance) and April 7th and 21st at 5:30 pm (before the 7pm performance). Cost for Dinner and Show is $30 for adults and $17 for students. Bring a group of 10 or more and receive a group discount! For reservations and information, please contact the LampLight box office at 423-343-1766, Monday through Friday from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. or online at www.LampLightTheatre.com.

theloaferonline.com | March 28, 2017

Son of Sorrows

Dollywood’s Year of the Family Unpredictable weather, wildflowers galore, and the chorus of spring peepers are a sure sign that spring has arrived here in East Tennessee. That means we also can welcome the reopening of our favorite theme park, Dollywood, for its thirty-second season. This year promises to be just as exciting as the last with two new events added to the park as well as the coming of three new rides both to Dollywood Theme Park and Dollywood’s Splash Country!

Appalachian Wanderers

By Jason & Daniel Worley jdworley@ theloaferonline.com

Guest can now dine at Dollywood's new 'Front Porch Cafe', formally known as Backstage Restaurant, with an all new menu to fill any appetite.

theloaferonline.com | March 28, 2017

e were lucky enough to visit the park on passholder preview day on the 17th of this month and enjoy the launch of Festival of Nations. Park crews were hard at work throughout the winter months working on a multitude of projects throughout the park. Be prepared to be pleasantly surprised, as a lot of work was put into sprucing up areas that hadn’t seen much TLC in the past few years. Sagging roofs have been replaced, pathways paved, and new scenery added. As you walk down Showstreet, the catchy tunes of the Ecuadorian group Atahualpa welcome visitors back to another season of fun. Here you will notice a bittersweet change, as the Backstage Restaurant has been completely rethemed to become the Front Porch Café. Brightly colored walls are adorned with scenes and items reminiscent of life on the farm, and the new menu has a variety of choices sure to satisfy anyone’s tastes. The restaurant prides itself on using locally-sourced products wherever it can. The menu contains many healthier choices, and most importantly, the staff will try their very best to accommodate meals for any food allergy. Grilled chicken salad, great sandwiches, and an amazing clam chowder are all staples on the menu. Be sure to stop by on your next visit. All the wonderful foods and shows are back for Festival of Nations, with the hit Mother Africa returning for a second year in a row. We were sad to learn that the Argentinian gauchos were not present, but a new show hailing from Poland serves as a great alternative. Slask features traditional Poland music and dance that ranges from romantic to quirky, and is a great introduction to a culture that is new at Festival of Nations. Other shows include the Swiss band Streichmusik Alder, the steel drum orchestra from Trinidad and Tobago, and the talented British duet Dearbhail and Robin. Festival of Nations leads the lineup of wonderful events and festivals Dollywood has planned throughout the year. Spring Break is an all-new celebration from April 10th to the 22nd which will feature extended

park hours so families can have more time to spend together on their spring vacations. A high-energy show known as enra will make its debut at the park as well. Featuring dance, light, music, and video all combined into one thrilling package, this hit show starred on America’s Got Talent in a recent season. Dollywood’s Barbeque and Bluegrass returns again, and who can say no to those amazing ribs or the sounds of banjos drifting throughout the park? Summer at Dollywood replaces Great American Summer as the park’s annual summer event. Extended park hours (sometimes up to midnight!), the Gazillion Bubbles Show, and nightly fireworks all return for another season. Rock the Smokies closes the summer with powerful music from leading Christian music bands around the country. Dollywood’s Harvest Festival will now also include extended hours to 9:00 P.M. every evening so guests can enjoy the creative Pumpkin LumiNights displays. Lighted pumpkins placed throughout the park will be sculpted into beautiful works of art and breathtaking arrangements. Lastly, Smoky Mountain Christmas will wrap up the year with all of our favorites returning, from Rudolph and all his friends to the Parade of Many Colors which debuted last year. As billboards and commercials across the state will attest, Dollywood will be receiving not one, or two, but three new rides this year! The newly-renovated Timber Canyon will be home to Drop Line, a new freefall tower which will plunge riders from a height of 230 feet above the canyon floor. Whistlepunk Chaser, a new junior coaster, has found a home next to Thunderhead and replaces the smaller Sideshow Spin coaster which was just removed from the Country Fair area. Slightly higher and longer, the new coaster will give kids a great opportunity to train as up-and-coming thrill seekers alongside their families. Both rides are set to open in summer, with Memorial Day weekend being the obvious window. Tailspin Racer is also set to open that weekend over at Dollywood’s Splash Country. The seven-story waterslide will allow up to six guests to all race to the finish line along the towering structure.

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By Langley Shazor Follow Langley at TheCasualWord

places

Chainmail ladened

Remember the words of Dante

Iron clad mummies

Evil undone by more evil

Fixed to their posts

Apocryphal

Mid knight Templars

Staking claims

Faintly lit

In fields of lycanthropic corpses

Soulless black eyes

Reduced to standing watch

Glare beneath shimmering

In the halls of heroes

helmets

Where history is written

Reflecting traveling candelabras

Only by the winners

Gauntlet clasped blades

Behind fortified walls

Murderous vertical shafts

Of kings

Send heretics to the abyss of

And liars

oblivion

The Billies are back and better than ever. Northeast 23 State Community College welcomes the duo back to campus this month for a concert and two songwriting workshops open to students.

he Billies are lead vocalist Chrisie Santoni, who also plays guitar and keyboards, and Craig Smith on percussion and vocals. The duo performs a full concert – free and open to the public – on March 29 in the Northeast State Auditorium (A202) on the Blountville campus, 2425 Highway 7 5 . The show will feature the performance of a song written by Northeast State students two songwriting workshops held prior to the show. The workshops are scheduled March 27 and 29 from 3:00 p.m. to 4:20 p.m. and held in the Auditorium. Prospective singers and songwriters get an opportunity to learn about creative songwriting and musical expression. The duo coined a unique style they call Low Country Groove. Their sound mixes folk, Americana, country, pop, rock and a little dash of chill. The duo has played hundreds upon hundreds of shows in coffeehouses, farmers markets, restaurants, and college campuses. Santoni is an award-winning songwriter, having taken 1st Place in The Unisong Songwriting Contest and 1st Runner-Up Adult Contemporary in The John Lennon Songwriting Contest, both for her song Mona Lisa. Doors open for the concert at 6:30 p.m. For information about the workshops or concert, visit The Billies’ Facebook page or e-mail jpkelly@NortheastState.edu.

theloaferonline.com | March 28, 2017

In dark causeways

One of the seven final resting

The Billies Return

The Casual Word

Hallow Suits

n g e e

Heir looms

theloaferonline.com | March 28, 2017

24 Answers on page 26

a f i a t t s

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Diamond is a 1 year old hound mix. She is spayed and up to date on all vaccines. This cutie has a large underbite which adds to her charm and great personality! Best in a household without children.

Angel is a 2 year old Blue Heeler mix. She is spayed and up to date on all vaccines. She is a sweet girl and great with kids and other dogs!

The Bridge Home has an ongoing aluminum can can collection in front of the shelter at 2061 Hwy 75 in Blountville,TN 37617. The cans are collected by a volunteer and the money from the aluminum goes towards badly needed food and supplies for the animals The Bridge Home No Kill Animal Rescue has started a pet food pantry for people that have had financial hardships because of job loss or medical problems and are struggling to feed their pet. They can come by the shelter and get cat or dog food to get through the tough time. Donations can be sent to The Bridge Home Shelter PO Box 654 Blountville, TN 37617 Every animal in their care is spayed or neutered and fully vaccinated before being adopted. Being a non profit the shelter is funded entirely by membership dues and private donations. They always need volunteers or monetary donations.

Other always needed items:pet food, cat litter & cat toys dog treats & dog toys,paper towels, cleaners, office supplies,Purina weight circles. Phone: 423-239-5237 Hours are Mon-Fri 12pm-6pm Sat 12pm-3pm and Sun 2pm-4pm. Website is www. bridgehomerescue@gmail.com or like them on Facebook: www. Facebook.com/bridgehome

theloaferonline.com | March 28, 2017

PETS

OF THE WEEK

theloaferonline.com | March 28, 2017

THINGS TO DO Rocky Mount to Host Vintage “Base Ball” Game on April 1 Rocky Mount is proud to partner again with the Tennessee Association of Vintage Base Ball to offer a family fun event this April. On April 1st, no foolin’, Rocky Mount will be hosting the Knoxville Holstons and the Emmett Machinists of Knoxville as they play a vintage (circa 1864 rules) “base ball” game. This event is a great way to see how one of America’s favorite pastimes began and how it has changed into the game we see now. The gate will open at 11 a.m. and admission for the event is free. There will be pennants available for purchase so you can rout for your favorite team. The game will be played in the large field in front of the pond. For seating you will need to bring a blanket or lawn chair. You might also consider an umbrella as there is no shade in the field. The historic home will be open for tours as well. During the game feel free to throw out some expressions from the 1860s like hurrah and huzzah or give three cheers and a tiger. Bring your peanuts and crackerjacks and join us for a day of family fun! The game will go on rain or shine, but will be canceled if there is any lightning. For more information, call us at 423-538-7396 or toll free at 888538-1791 or feel free to email us at info@rockymountmuseum.com. •••••••••••••••••••••••••• BunnyHop 5K set for April 15 State of Franklin Healthcare Associates and LIFEWTR will host the BunnyHop 5K on Saturday, April 15, at Founders Park beginning at 8:30 a.m. The event is powered by the Blue Plum Organization and will be followed by a Community Easter Egg Hunt, also at Founders Park, sponsored by Munsey Memorial United Methodist Church. The 5K event includes the run, a

kids’ dash immediately following the race as well as health and wellness activities. The entry fee for the 5K is $20 per person in advance and $25 on the day of the race. Kids 12 and under can participate in all events at no cost, and the first 50 kids at the race will receive bunny ears. Participants who are 13 years and older and pre-register will receive a T-shirt. Awards will be given for the top overall winners (male and female), top masters (over 40) male and female, and top three male and female in the following age brackets: 10 and under; 1114; 15-19; 20-29; 30-39; 40-49; 5059; 60-69; and 70 and over. The Easter egg hunt is free and open to the community and will also occur at Founders Park beginning at the amphitheatre at 10:30 a.m. Children 12 and under are invited to bring their baskets to use to collect eggs. The egg hunt will be divided into age groups. Online 5K registration, which closes April 13, can be completed at www.athlinks.com/event/ bunny-hop-5k-kids-dash-196147. A course map is also available at this link. Public parking is available in the Pavillion lot and at Munsey Church. Founders Park is located at 226 Commerce St. For more information, contact blueplumdirector@gmail.com. •••••••••••••••••••••••••• Gardening opportunities at Sycamore Shoals State Park! Do you love to work outdoors and enjoy the beauty that results from your efforts in your gardens? If you do, Sycamore Shoals State Historic Park would like to invite you to join the Sycamore Shoals Gardeners! The Sycamore Shoals Gardeners is a group of dedicated folks who enjoy gardening and especially love to create and nurture natural places of beauty for others to enjoy. Currently the group takes

care of a North American Butterfly Association certified garden and Monarch Waystation near our trail by the Watauga River in addition to the herb gardens at the Carter Mansion. We are planning a spring orientation and gathering and would like to know if you would like to learn more about these volunteer opportunities at Sycamore Shoals! For additional information, please contact Jennifer Bauer by calling 423-5435808 or email, jennifer.bauer@ tn.gov.

a non-perishable food item to donate to the Jonesborough Area Ministerial Association (JAMA) Food Bank. Questions…please contact Jeri Jones at 423-646-3756 or Tami Moore at 423-753-0044. ••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Easter Craft Class at Gray Library Adults (16 and over) are welcome to come and make an Easter cross ornament at the Gray Library on Friday, March 31, at 2 p.m. Painting, antiquing, and drybrushing will be used on this craft. •••••••••••••••••••••••••• Instruction and all materials will 2nd Annual Craft Bazaar, Bake be provided. The class is free, but Sale and Silent Auction registration is required. Limited The Jonesborough United to 8 participants. Call the library Methodist Church Sisters of Faith at 423-477-1550 to register. Groups are hosting their 2nd •••••••••••••••••••••••••• annual Craft Bazaar, Bake Sale and Silent Auction on Saturday ETSU at Kingsport Allandale to April 2, 2017 from 10 am till 5pm. hold Spring Yard Sale Over 25 local artists will be there East Tennessee State University handmade items such as jewelry, at Kingsport Allandale will hold dog treats, crocheted items, its Spring Yard Sale on Friday, hair bows, kitchen accessories, April 7, from 9 a.m. until 2 p.m., in candles, pottery, paper quilling, the parking lot at 1501 University soap, wood turned items, Blvd., near Allandale Mansion. repurposed crafts, American Doll ETSU at Kingsport Student clothes, and much more. Service organization sponsors Items in the silent auction this event and invites members include a stay at a bed and of the community to participate. breakfast,, jewelry items, quilts, Spaces are available for a $10 new and vintage, pottery and fee to accommodate individuals much more. who wish to sell items or for There is no admission to the commercial representatives who Bazaar, but we ask that you bring wish to promote businesses.

Those who wish to reserve space must do so by Thursday, March 30, by contacting Debbie Marsh, whose information is listed below. Spaces include one table and one parking space. Spaces with rental tables are $10 each. Donations of money, used books and miscellaneous items are welcome and can be dropped off at the ETSU at Kingsport Allandale main office Monday through Friday, from 8 a.m. until 4:30 p.m. Proceeds from the sale go to the Megan Smith Scholarship Fund and to date have assisted seven students. A resident of Church Hill, Smith was a 2008 graduate of Volunteer High School and had just completed her freshman year at ETSU at Kingsport Allandale at the time of her death in 2009. For further information, contact Marsh at 423-392-8004 or email her at marshd@etsu.edu. •••••••••••••••••••••••••• MPCC to offer You Got Game Skills and Drills Memorial Park Community Center, 510 Bert St., will offer You Got Game Skills and Drills, a free event on Tuesday, April 4 from 5:30-7 p.m. Participants ages 13 and older will show off their ballhandling and 3-point skills. Please register in person at MPCC by Monday, April 3. The event is limited to 30 participants. For more information, please call 423-434-5749.

Cryptogram: Sometimes I have a terrible feeling that I am dying not from the virus, but from being untouchable. Drop Quote: "Art is contemplation. It is the pleasure of the mind which searches into nature and which there divines the spirit of which Nature herself is animated."

“Johnny, This Ain't No Good”: The Many Ghosts of Chuck Berry When I learned about the death of Chuck Berry last week, I didn’t immediately seek out my playlist, but instead consulted two of my favorite books: Colin Dickey’s GHOSTLAND: AN AMERICAN HISTORY IN HAUNTED PLACES (2016) and Greil Marcus’ THE HISTORY OF ROCK ‘N’ ROLL IN TEN SONGS (2014).

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Kelly’s Place

By Jim Kelly since 1989 jkelly@ theloaferonline.com

n their own way, each of these books places Berry’s life and death into a framework of haunting, as if his songs are mini-ghost stories that seem to capture vital truths about American history. Dickey tells the tale of American history as if our country’s often-familiar narratives are tours through the many haunted houses of our past and present. Dickey says from the outset that he doesn’t believe in supernatural ghosts, but rather in the all-too-real ghosts that continue to haunt our historic places--the ghosts of injustice, violence, and lost love. Marcus’ book, which could very well be the best account we have of what rock ‘n’ roll means within the various and often-convoluted contexts out of which our history is summoned, isn’t a traditional year-by-year, hit-by-hit narrative of America, but a new way of understanding our history. As Marcus tells us, “A key to a richer and more original understanding--or a different story from the one any conventional, chronological, heroic history of rock ‘n’ roll seems to tell . . . .might be to feel one’s way through the music as a field of expression, and as a web of affinities.” In other words, the history of rock ‘n’ roll is focused on how any given song connects us in non-linear ways to events both past and present--as if when played, the music makes time stand still, and creates a room where the ghosts of musicians long gone are resurrected in new and often frightening ways, offering us new and strange perspectives on what we thought was already figured out. Chuck Berry may have left the building, but his many ghosts still haunt our waking and sleeping dreams (and perhaps nightmares as well). As Marcus concludes the thoughts he began above, “rock ‘n’ roll may be more than anything a continuum of associations, a drama of direct and spectral connections between songs and performers.” The songs of Chuck Berry indeed conjure up this “continuum of associations,” and, because they are products of pop culture, are often translated in both strange and familiar ways. This past week I have been reading a lot about how Berry’s songs have influenced other musicians. For instance, we are told that Berry’s “Too Much Monkey Business” was translated as “Subterranean Homesick Blues” by Bob Dylan. And we all should know that The Beach Boys’ “Surfin’ USA” is nothing more than Berry’s “Sweet Little Sixteen” with different lyrics, replacing a surfboard with an automobile. Although John Lennon consistently denied it, “You Can’t Catch Me” was the inspiration for “Come Together,” which ironically signaled the coming apart of The Beatles. And why should we think of Gilbert O’Sullivan’s 1972 hit song “Clair” everytime we listen to Berry’s “Memphis”? These little comparative parlor games have become the

stock and trade of music critics and historians-echoed of course by movie critics who are fond of showing how the entire history of the movies can be reduced to two or three pivotal “films” (as movie snobs prefer to say). Of course, Berry didn’t emerge from a vacuum, because his music also took its inspiration from his many predecessors, particularly Robert Johnson’s “Terraplane Blues,” written in 1936 and using the then-popular Hudson Motor Company Terraplane automobile as a metaphor for sexual disfunction (yes, rock ‘n’ roll’s subtext has always been about sex). And who knows what influence Charlie Ryan’s “Hot Rod Lincoln,” the 1955 hit that led to Commander Cody’s later, and better, hit version, might have had. I like to think of “Hot Rod Lincoln” as “Maybelline’s” evil twin. I see Berry’s ghost every time I watch two of our best car movies: “Two Lane Blacktop” (1971 and soon-to-be-released as a remake again starring James Taylor) and “Vanishing Point” (1971--a good year for car movies). The only thing missing from their soundtracks is “No Particular Place To Go.” And the connections and “continuum of associations” go on and on. Where all these ramblings lead is to Chuck Berry’s best album he never recorded: Jude Cole’s 1992 “Start The Car,” one of my nominees as best album of the Nineties. From its opening cut, “Start The Car” to its final track, “A Place In The Line,” we hear the ghost of Chuck Berry accompanying Cole’s powerful vocals. A couple of lyrics from this evocative album will suffice:

“Start the car, we gotta move This ain’t no living, this ain’t no groove It’s been a long hard road Come on baby Let’s drive it home Start the car . . . . . We started out for paradise But this ain’t no promised land” (shades of Berry’s song “Promised Land”) Appropriately enough, Cole sings “Maybelline, why can’t you be true” during the audio fade And in “Open Road” Cole’s protagonist/ antagonist sings “I woke up this morning In a Motel 5 Brokenhearted, I’m gonna drive through the night Down the open road I asked her where we stood She said Johnny, this ain’t no good.” I encourage you to seek out Cole’s album this week. It is readily available on various streaming services. The ghosts of Chuck Berry still haunt us and will continue to do so long after his death. You just have to know where to look to see and hear them. See you next week with another visit to the haunting world of pop culture.

theloaferonline.com | March 28, 2017

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theloaferonline.com | March 28, 2017