The Loafer May 26th

p a g e

6 p a g e

Keep on the Sunny Side

11

“Greater Tuna”

...plus so much more

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Volume 29 • Issue #25

Hops & Howlers

Publisher Luci Tate

Craft Brew Fest

Editor Graphic Arts Director Don Sprinkle Office Manager Luci Tate Cover Design Bill May Advertising Dave Carter Elaine Farris Terry Patterson Lori Hughes Contributing Staff Jim Kelly Andy Ross Ken Silvers Mark Marquette Brian McManus Joshua Hicks Jeff Ginther, M.D. Karie Grace Duncan Nathan Cox Published by Pulse Publishing, LLC., P.O. Box 3238, Johnson City, TN 37602 Phone: 423/283-4324 FAX - 423/283-4369 www.theloaferonline.com info@theloaferonline.com e-mail: editorial@theloaferonline.com (editorial) adcopy@theloaferonline.com (advertising) All advertisements are accepted and published by the publisher upon the representation that the agency and/or advertiser is authorized to publish the entire contents and subject matter thereof.

The agency and/or advertiser will indemnify and save the publisher harmless from any loss of expense resulting from claims or suits based upon contents of any advertisement, including claims or suits for defamation, libel, right of privacy, plagiarism, and copyright infringement.

Founder: Bill Williams

in this issue ....

4 7 10 12 13 14 19 23 27

Hops & Howlers Craft Brew Fest Native American Festival Train Excursion Getting Closer ETSU Summer Renaissance Camps ‘After The Reign’ at Lincoln Theatre Sage Last Call for Vendor Applications Comedian Jim Florentine Coming to Kingsport ‘Hit and Run’ back on stage at Bonefire Pipp Gillette at Storytelling Center

music & fun 16 28

Spotlight - Great Music & Fun Times Crossword & Sudoku

columns & reviews

15 Batteries Not Included - Embarrassment on Record 18 She Does It Herself - Handmade Graduation Cards 20 Stargazer - Happy Birthday to ESA 21 Skies This Week 22 Thoughts of Yesteryear - Raise Your Spyglass to Galileo 24 Screen Scenes - “Mad Max: Fury Road” 26 The Trivial Traveler - “It’s A Smoot Point” 29 Lock, Stock & Barrel - Less Than Lethal Ammunition 30 Kelly’s Place - Where Have All The Guitar Solo’s Gone

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Returns to Downtown Abingdon June 20th!

The second annual Hops & Howlers Craft Brew Fest, presented by Food City, will take place June 20, 2015 in downtown Abingdon. The festival features over 30 breweries from the region, plus food vendors and live music from Ancient Cities and Blue Mother Tupelo. The home brew competition will name the top home brewer in the region, while the VIP tent will offer early admission and access to exclusive beer tastings on top of the other offerings. Hops & Howlers is organized by Abingdon Main Street and the Abingdon Music Experience.

The festival takes place from 4:00pm to 9:00pm Saturday June 20th, at the Abingdon Market Pavilion on Remsburg Drive. In its first year, the Brew Fest attracted over 500 visitors, and organizers are expecting a bigger turnout for the second year, after making tweaks to improve the experience for attendees. The later time helps beat the summer heat, and brewery booths will be located under the shade of the pavilion. The area in front of the band will be available for chairs and picnic tables.

Live music plays a big part in the festival. Formed by creative songster, DJ, and former actor Stephen Warwick, Ancient Cities melds well-crafted lyrics with synthladen psychedelia and cinematic moodiness. With electrifying sets at festivals like FloydFest, Bristol Rhythm & Roots Reunion, Drumstrong and more, the band turned

offers festival goers the chance to sample regional & micro-brews, as well as ciders. The breweries are carefully chosen for the ultimate, boutique brew fest experience, which also includes live music and local food options. Tickets are limited, to keep lines short and provide the most opportunities for attendees to learn about the brews they’re tasting direct from the master brewers.

Over 30 breweries will be represented at the fest, including local favorites Wolf Hills Brewing, Bristol Brewing and Holston

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Ancient Cities the heads of critics, fans, and contemporaries alike. “Ancient Cities bridge the gap between indie-rock and classic rock with swift, fuzzy guitars, excited drumming and dreamy atmospheres” -Inforty (UK) Next on the bill is the unique southern soul sound of Blue Mother Tupelo. Paste Magazine calls this husband-and-wife duo “swampy, gospel-tinged southern soul-blues…[with] soul-searing harmonies.” Blue Mother Tupelo is American music that will pull you in to stomp and sway all night long.

The Hops & Howlers Craft Brew Fest is a beer tasting festival that

Blue Mother Tupelo

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Hops ...... Continued from previous page

2014 Hops & Howlers Craft Brew Fest River Brewing, as well as featured breweries Damascus Brewery and Devils Backbone. The festival also features a Homebrew Competition, open to home brewers across the Tri-Cities. Entries are still welcome.

This festival is co-organized by Abingdon Main Street and the Abingdon Music Experience.

Abingdon Main Street is a nonprofit organization dedicated to making the downtown district a place where people want to shop,

dine, stay and play, by planning events and activities, and supporting locally-owned businesses.

For more information visit www. abingdonmainstreet.com.

Tickets include up to twenty-one 4oz tastes and a souvenir tasting glass. Advance tickets are $35, and same-day tickets will be $40. The Festival is also offering a limited number of $55 VIP tickets, which include early admission, complimentary appetizers, provided by Mellow Mushroom, and a tasting

of 4 additional beers exclusively served in the VIP tent. Tickets are on sale at the Abingdon Food City, and through the website http:// hopsandhowlers.com/.

The event is restricted to those 21 and up. Special Designated Driver tickets are available for $15, for those who do not intend to drink, but are 21 and up as well. Valid ID is required for entrance.

Hops & Howlers Craft Brew Fest is presented by Food City and sponsored by EcoLogical Energy

Systems. All of the micro-brews that are also sold at Food City will be identified at the fest for attendees. EcoLogical Energy Systems will set up an information booth and free solar charging station at the event where attendees can charge their phones For tickets and more information on the event, visit http://hopsandhowlers.com/ or contact Sara Saavedra Saavedra, Special Events Coordinator, at (276) 676-2282 or ssaavedra@abingdon-va.gov.

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Carter Family Tale To Be Performed at The Carter Fold During the last week in May and the first week in June, 2015, the Carter Family Fold in Hiltons, Virginia, and Abingdon’s Barter Theatre will present six performances of the play Keep on the Sunny Side at the Carter Family Fold. Performance dates and times are: Thursday, May 28, 7:30 PM/ Friday, May 29, 7:30 PM/ Sunday, May 31, 7:00 PM/ Thursday, June 4, 7:30 PM/ Friday, June 5, 7:30 PM, and Sunday, June 7, 7:00 PM. Tickets to Keep on the Sunny Side at the Fold are $20 and are available for advance purchase through the Barter Theatre box office at 276-628-3991 or on their website at bartertheatre. com. Tickets will also be available at the door for each show. Before traveling long distances, it would be best to check with Barter’s box office regarding ticket availability.

Keep on the Sunny Side was first performed at the Barter Theatre in 2002. Written by a local physician, Dr. Douglas Pote, to pay homage to country music’s first family, the play beautifully portrays their life and struggles through the use of their music. In addition, Sunny Side tells the sad and beautiful story of the Carter Family Fold’s creation through the eyes of the Fold’s founder, Janette Carter. Sunny Side has been performed all over the U.S. both

by Barter Theatre and by other

theaters hundreds of times. It has become the most-requested play in Barter Theatre’s 75-year history.

Barter Theatre’s Associate Artistic Director Nicholas Piper is directing Keep on the Sunny Side.

Having acted in the original play and having performed in many of Barter’s productions since that time, Nick says I love this play because it is about things that are important to us in Appalachia – music, family, home, and community. The production by Barter Theatre features actor Eugene Wolf as A.P. Carter, Katie Deal,

Molly Andrews, Kimberly Braun, Darrell Johnston, and Gill Braswell in their cast. Barter is offering a special promotion for Keep on the Sunny Side at the Fold. The first 25 guests who arrive at each performance will receive a poster signed by actor Eugene Wolf.

Don’t miss Barter Theatre’s production of Keep on the Sunny Side at the most heart-felt and appropriate venue it could possibly be performed in – the Carter Family Fold. Sunny Side portrays the famous tale of the Carter Family and the love story of A.P. and Sara Carter. Hear the music and re-live the passion where the story first began – the home of the Carter Family in Hiltons, Virginia.

Keep on the Sunny Side is made possible by corporate sponsors Domtar and the Regional Adult education Program. Both Barter Theatre and the Carter Family Memorial Music Center are funded in part by the Virginia Commission for the Arts and the National Endowment for the Arts.

Carter Family Memorial Music Center, Incorporated, is a nonprofit, rural arts organization established to preserve traditional, acoustic, mountain music. For further information on the center, go to http://www.carterfamilyfold. org. or call 276-386-6054.

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Native American Culture Festival

at Sycamore Shoals State Historic Area Sycamore Shoals State Historic Area is proud to announce our annual Native American Festival to be held Saturday, and Sunday, May 30th and 31st, 2015. This educational event provides the opportunity for our visitors to experience many facets of Native American culture, particularly that of the Cherokee.

The event opens on Saturday, May 30th, running from 10 am until 8:00 pm; and from 11 am until 4 pm on Sunday. Most activities are held at Fort Watauga, unless it rains. In the event of rain the show will relocate to the Visitors Center. On Saturday evening, a traditional campfire will be held at the far end of the meadow in front of Fort Watauga at 7:00 pm with several guest storytellers.

This weekend long festival will feature traditional and contemporary arts and crafts, traditional Native American song and dance, Cherokee storytelling and legends, Native American flute, Cherokee language workshops, and craft demonstrations and sales.

A unique feature of the Native American Culture festival is our educational/ demonstration area, located within Fort Watauga. The dance circle is located in the center of the fort, where the popular traditional dance and drum performances take place. In addition, flute music, storytelling, lectures, and so much more take place within the circle, which share native culture and history with our visitors The interior of the fort will also host a variety of excellent demonstrations, which include a children’s blowgun challenge, beadwork, gourd art, pine needle basketry, stone carving, Cherokee language, wood carving, flintknapping, corn shuck dolls , native river cane flutes, pottery, and a replicated Cherokee cabin from the early 19th century with historical reenactors, Mark and Sherry Finchum.

Just outside the fort, exceptional Native American arts and crafts will be featured, in addition to ethnic Cherokee food, and a Lakota Tipi exhibit.

In our annual tradition, the circle will host several performances of Native American music, drum, and dance. The dancing demonstrations will include the Fancy Dance and Hoop Dance, the Jingle Dance, the Men’s Traditional, Grass and Straight Dances, and many more. All are invited to dance, so bring your regalia. Newly added will be a demonstration of 18th century Cherokee social dancing. The host of this portion of the event, Dale Cloer, makes his home in Cherokee, North Carolina.

Our featured Cherokee dancers are internationally known hoop dancer Eddie Swimmer, and champion powwow dancer Nikki

Crisp! Eddie Swimmer has captivated audiences across the globe using between 36 and 42 hoops.

His accomplishments include a former World Champion Hoop Dancer title, performances in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York City and in the World Cup Soccer Tournament in Dallas Texas as well as choreographing the Broadway show hoop dance for ANNIE GET YOUR GUN. Nikki Crisp as danced across the world as well, and has been performing for over 20 years. Her talents also include traditional beadwork and authentic frybread cooking. Nikki Crisp will be pro-

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Native American ...... Continued from page 7 viding food vending for this event, including her famous Indian tacos.

Our 2015 featured Cherokee artist is Lola Swimmer, of Cherokee, NC. Her unique specialty is using feathers as her canvass to paint, landscape scenes, military style art, angels, warriors, eagles and much more. All her feathers are one of a kind with no two ever alike. She also does canvas art, prints, and face painting for the children.

Our 2015 featured storyteller is Freeman Owle. He is a noted lecturer, historian, and member of the Eastern Band of Cherokee, and has traveled all over the eastern United States lecturing to various groups, which include churches, military units, and schools. Freeman Owle has told stories and presented programs on Cherokee history and culture throughout the Southeast for more than ten years.

Well known in the Cherokee community, Freeman Owle serves on the board of directors of the Qualla Arts and Crafts Mutual and is a coordinator for the Cherokee Heritage Trails project of the

Blue Ridge Heritage Initiative. He is one of the featured storytellers in the book Living Stories of the Cherokee, and he also appears in the video documentary Cherokee: The Principal People, which aired on public television in North Carolina, South Carolina, and Kentucky.

Our 2015 featured speaker is Dr. Michael Abram of the Cherokee Heritage Museum and Gallery in Cherokee, NC, who will provide a glimpse into Cherokee history and legend. He will give two lectures on Saturday, “Cherokee Cultural Masks in the 21st Century”, and “The Cherokee Four Winds,” inside the circle of Fort Watauga.

Dr. Abram has been presenting at this show since its beginning and is owner of the Cherokee Heritage Museum and Gallery.

The gallery is presently being relocated from Cherokee to a location near Chattanooga. Dr. Abram has devoted his life to studying, preserving, and lecturing on Cherokee culture.

Daniel Bigay of Greeneville, TN will entertain with traditional

flute music in addition to having his handmade, traditional Cherokee style flutes for sale. Daniel is a flute maker, Artist, Performer/ Recording Artist, and demonstrator, who lives with his wife, Kay, in the mountains of Tennessee. He has released two CD’s, the most recent being nominated for best flute recording at the 2005 Indian Summer Music Awards. Daniel and Kay are passionate about education and sharing of the Cherokee culture in the school system, at Pow-Wow’s, and various shows and festivals.

Admission is $5.00 per adult, $1.00 for children. All proceeds from admissions go to Friends of Sycamore Shoals State Historic Area, to support this event. This event is made possible by the support of Friends of Sycamore Shoals State Historic Area, the DoubleTree by Hilton, and the Comfort Inn of Johnson City.

For information, call: (423) 543‑5808. www.sycamoreshoalstn.org 1651 W. Elk Avenue, Elizabethton, TN 37643

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Laurel Marina & Yacht Club, the first marina to fly the Tennessee Valley Authority’s (TVA) Clean Marina flag on South Holston Lake in 2002, and only the third in the entire TVA chain to receive the achievement when the program was initially implemented, has recently received notice by TVA of recertification of its Clean Marina status.

According to TVA, certified marinas have gone beyond what is required by law. Not only do they meet all federal, state, and local regulations related to marina management, they’ve voluntarily adopted a variety of other practices to minimize the effects of boating on water quality, such as better fuel handling, disposal of boat sewage, and public education and outreach.

The Clean Marina flag was presented to Laurel Marina owner, Dale Thomas, and Marina Manager, Michael Carter by Melinda Watson, Coordinator, TVA Clean Marina Program.

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Laurel Marina & Yacht Club On South Holston Lake

Awarded Clean Marina Re-Certification “By pursuing Clean Marina status while our program was still in its infancy over a decade ago, Laurel Marina clearly demonstrated the value they place on environmental initiatives,” said TVA rep.

“With this recertification, Laurel Marina continues to serve as a role model for excellence in marina operations and accountability,” Watson, said “The Clean Marina review panel was in full agreement that Laurel Marina & Yacht Club is continuing to meet the actions needed to recertify Laurel Marina as a Tennessee Valley Clean Marina,” Watson, added.

“We have been a long-time proponent of environmental quality intitiatives on South Hoston Lake,” said Thomas. “From our role as a founding sponsor of the annual South Holston Lake Cleanup, to changes in our marina infrastructure operations, we continually strive to make improvements to our facilities which result in positive impact for all those who enjoy the clear, pristine waters of South

(L to R): Melinda Watson, Coordinator, TVA Clean Marina Program; Dale Thomas, Owner, Laurel Marina & Yacht Club; Michael Carter, Laurel Marina & Yacht Club Manager Holston Lake, and are champions of maintaining the quality of our waterways for generations to come,” Thomas added.

As part of the recertification

process, Laurel Marina also provides South Holston Lake users with educational information and learning opportunities to improve water quality and encourage safe

environmental practices, in addition to keeping detailed records of fuel usage and waste management removal.

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Deadline soon for Carter Railroad Museum train, steamboat excursion

The George L. Carter Chapter of the National Railway Historical Society (NRHS) and East Tennessee State University’s George L. Carter Railroad Museum will sponsor a scenic spring train excursion and steamboat ride on Saturday, June 13. Tickets must be purchased by May 30 and fewer than 50 remain.

The price for the excursion is $95 for adults and $80 for children ages 3-12. Younger children may ride free. The fee includes bus transportation to and from Knoxville, a 90-minute steam train ride and a luncheon cruise on the Tennessee Riverboat.

Passengers should arrive at ETSU’s parking lot 22A on Go Bucs Trail for a 7 a.m. departure to travel by motor coach to Knoxville.

Following a tour of the Knoxville Locomotive Works, a steam engine repair shop, passengers will board the Three Rivers Rambler steam train for a 10 a.m. ride following a scenic route along the Tennes-

see River. Upon returning to the station at 12:30 p.m., passengers will go to the Tennessee Riverboat Company for a luncheon cruise.

Buses will begin loading at 3 p.m. for the return to Johnson City, arriving around 5:30-6 p.m.

Ticket order forms and liability waivers are available at the Carter Railroad Museum on Saturdays from 10 a.m.-3 p.m. or online at the Mountain Empire Model Railroaders website at www.memrr. org by choosing “NRHS News” and then “Ticket Order Form.” A signed liability waiver form must accompany each ticket request.

Payment may be made by check or money order payable to the George L. Carter Chapter, NRHS, and mailed to George L. Carter Chapter, NRHS, Attention: Rail Excursion, 519 Headtown Road, Jonesborough, TN 37659.

For more information, contact Carlene McLeod at 386717-2925, 423-342-6449 or chardanmcleod35@comcast.net.

Sons of Confederate Veterans to Host Cross of Honor Ceremony May 30 The General Alfred E. Jackson Camp 2159 Sons of Confederate Veterans will hosting a Confederate Cross of Honor Ceremony on Saturday, May 30, at 11 a.m. at the gravesite of General A.E. Jackson in the Old Jonesborough Cemetery, located on East Main Street in Jonesborough.

General Jackson was the highest ranking Civil War officer from either side from Washington County. In addition to his military service, Gen. Jackson was a community leader in the early history of Washington County, an economic developer, and was instrumental in the arrival of the railroad to Jonesborough.

Activities will include a reading from the biography of Gen. Jackson, a dedication of the Confederate Cross of Honor at the gravesite, a firing party salute and the Tennessee Division SCV Color guard posting colors. The uncovering of the Cross will be conducted

by John Lyle, a great-grandson of General Jackson The United Daughters of the Confederacy will be serving cookies and lemonade following the ceremony. The public is welcome to attend.

The Confederate Cross of Honor Ceremony will take place at the gravesite of General A.E. Jackson located in the Old Jonesborough Cemetery on May 30 at 11 a.m.

For additional information on the Confederate Cross of Honor Ceremony, email alanhayes@embarqmail.com or call Ernie Walker at 423-791-0405.

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Glasgow Theatre Company presents

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‘Greater Tuna’

Greater Tuna by Jaston Williams, Joes Sears, and Ed Howard is a good ol’ knee-slapping, laugh-outloud and just plain FUN production. Glasgow Theatre Company will be presenting two of our very own Bristol community members, to portray ALL of the quirky citizens in the tiny Texas town of Tuna in this hilarious send-up of rural America.

Actors Martin Robinette (reprising his role after 16 years) and Chip Zimmerman will transport audiences to the fictitious “thirdsmallest town” in Texas where a variety of characters are brought to life. They will each play 10 different characters including: smut-snatchin’ Bertha Bumiller, puppy-cuddlin’ Petey Fisk, mongrel-murderin’ Pearl Burras, and pistol-peddlin’ Didi Snavely.

Greater Tuna has been one of the most produced shows in the United States and even had command performances at the White House.

Glasgow Theatre Company presents Greater Tuna for a limited two week run. Performances are scheduled Thursday through Saturday nights at8:00pm, May 28 through June 6, 2015. The production will be located at the L.C. King Building, located at 24 7th Street, downtown Bristol. Ticket prices are $10.00. This is a BYOB event.

To purchase tickets or for more information, call the Glasgow Theatre Company at 423.797.8482 or visit us online at glasgowtheatrecompany.org.

The Glasgow Theatre Company’s production of Greater Tuna is made possible by The L.C. King Manufacturing Co.

Jonesborough Senior Center to Host May 30 Country Breakfast

The Jonesborough Senior Center Advisory Board will host its annual Country Breakfast open to the community on Saturday, May 30 beginning at 7 a.m. The breakfast is by donation and will consist of southern biscuits and gravy, sausage, bacon, eggs, grits and fruit. Meals are available by eating at the Senior Center or carry out. A bake sale will also take place during the breakfast. The Country Breakfast will take place on Saturday, May 30 from 7 to 10 a.m. at the Jonesborough Senior Center located at 1521 Persimmon Ridge Road.

For additional information on the Jonesborough Senior Center Annual Country Breakfast contact Mary Sanger at 423-753-4781 or marys@jonesboroughtn.org.

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ETSU offers summer Renaissance Child camps

East Tennessee State University’s Office of Professional Development invites children age 6 and up to participate in Renaissance Child camps this summer. The camps begin June 1 and continue through July 31, with one week off from June 29-July 3.

The camps offer a variety of educational, hands-on, interactive opportunities for participants from first grade through high school. The programs are based on the “STREAM” Educational Curriculum (Science, Technology, Reading/Recreation, Engineering, Arts and Math) and follow the Tennessee Core State Standards.

The Digital Media Camp, held at ETSU’s Niswonger Digital Media Laboratory, is designed for high school students, from rising sophomores through seniors.

Students will learn about 2D and 3D animation, game development and other techniques.

Computer Camp for Teens, also held at ETSU’s Niswonger Digital Media Laboratory, is for ages about digital media and basic creating the elements necessary to 12 and up. Participants will learn game development techniques by make their own video game.

New camps include the Renaissance Challenge Camp for

children and Renaissance Investigation Camp: Super Sleuths. Both camps are for ages 6 and up. For ages12 and up, a new Outdoor Adventure Camp for Teens lets campers spend a week zip-lining, whitewater rafting and hiking.

Additional camps include Art, Music and Drama for ages 11-15 and the Renaissance Child “Kitchestry” Lab for ages 6-11.

Campers will use items found in the kitchen to conduct safe chemistry experiments.

All camps meet from 8 a.m.-5 p.m., Monday through Friday.

Fees range from $185 to $250, depending on the camp, with discounts available for ETSU faculty, staff and students, as well as discounts for multiple registrations.

For a complete listing of the 14 available camps and further information, visit www.etsu.edu/professionaldevelopment and click on “Youth Programs,” or contact the ETSU Office of Professional Development at goicl@etsu.edu or 800-222-3878.

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Country Rockers to Hit Lincoln Theatre Stage

On Saturday, May 30 at 7:00pm New Jersey’s own brand of country music will take the stage at The Lincoln Theatre. After The Reign will bring country rock back to its roots for this one night only concert, featuring special guest Michael Shaun Brown.

After The Reign is a six piece country band that formed in 2006 consisting of: Willie Kelly (Lead Vocals), John Strevens (Lead/ Rhythm Guitar, Lead/Background Vocals), Dave Burlett (Bass Guitar, Background Vocals), Bob Grado (Steel Guitar, Mandolin), Clay Perlman (Lead/Rhythm Guitar), and Greg Annunziata (Drums). The band currently has two original albums out “Hillbilly Clubhouse” (2010) and “Almost Famous (2013). Both albums were written by the band by head songwriter Strevens with collaborations from Burlett and Kelly.

In 2012 “Burning Down The Farm,” the 2nd single from “Hillbilly Clubhouse,” stayed on the

Music Row Charts for 32 weeks hitting #72. The single was also included on the Sony Music distributed compilation CD “Country Mix USA” pairing them alongside other country artists Craig Morgan, Due West, and Sammy Kershaw.

They released their sophomore album “Almost Famous” in the summer of 2013, produced by Marc Muller, mixed by Billy Decker, and mastered by Richard Dodd.

Their single “Jersey Strong” featured on their second album has been named the official anthem of New Jersey by the organization Strong Than The Storm and was a feature point on Discovery’s Destination American Red, White and You. The band on average performs 80 shows a year consisting of fairs, country festivals, theaters, and larger venues. The band is currently working on two new albums simultaneously, “Born Cool” and a retro Bakersfield sounding

“Throwback Thursday”. For this concert, the band will be performing new music from their upcoming album to be released in the summer of 2015! After The Reign has performed shows with Tim McGraw, Lady Antebellum, Sara Evans, Rodney Atkins, Lee Brice, James Wesley, Montgomery Gentry, Josh Thompson, Kix Brooks, Craig Morgan, Steel Magnolias, Steve Azar, Love and Theft, Trent Tomlinson, Daryl Worley and Bruce Springsteen to name a few.

When headlining their own shows the band is known for its nonstop high-energy set.

Opening for ATR is Smyth County’s own Michael Shaun Brown. Michael Shaun Brown moved to Nashville right out of high school with a pickup truck, some clothes, and a guitar. Since then he has been working the Music City scene and traveling across the US, performing and recording.

Earlier this year he successfully completed a Kickstarter campaign

for a new album and has been in studio recording sessions. Michael Shaun Brown brings his country rock sound to The Lincoln Theatre stage as the opener for After the Reign and will headline the Town of Marion’s Rock, White, & Blues concert on July 4, 2015.

Seating is reserved for the May 30 concert featuring After The

Reign and Michael Shaun Brown.

Advance tickets for the show start at $15 and advance VIP tickets are available for $30. The VIP Experience includes premium seating, meet and greet with the bands, and sound check experience. Tickets are available online at www. thelincoln.org or by calling 276783-6092.

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LAST CALL for Christmas Connection Arts & Crafts Fair- Vendor applications!

Calling all artists, artisans, and craftspeople of all trades! We are now accepting applications for the 36th year of Christmas Connection – Arts & Crafts Fair. Application deadline: June 1st, 2015.

Christmas Connection has been a staple in the community for over 30 years. It is a very well established cultural event in Kingsport, hosting the region’s best arts and crafts vendors. The Civic Auditorium will be filled with hand-made clothing, floral arrangements, pottery, jewelry, delicate woodworking, Christmas ornaments, baked

Christmas Connection Arts & Crafts Fair Kingsport’s Christmas Connection, an event sponsored by the City of Kingsport Office of Cultural Arts, is celebrating 36 years of arts and crafts in 2015!

goods, toys, watercolors, paintings, figurines, baskets, candles, tapestries, heated pillows, needlework, dolls and much more. The FREE Admission Holidays are always fast in approaching, and this is an excellent to the public! opportunity to grab some holiday DATES/HOURS: cheer, support master craftsmen and find unique gifts and treasures.

Friday,Nov. 6: 12 Noon - 6 PM Applications will be accepted Saturday Nov. 7: 10 AM - 6 PM thru June 1st, 2015. You may acSunday Nov. 8: 12 Noon - 5 PM cess the vendor application from the city website: http://arts.kingsporttn.gov/cc or call (423) 3928415

Memorial Park Community Center announces

Family Fun Camp Out

Memorial Park Community Center, 510 Bert St., invites citizens of all ages to an overnight Family Fun Camp Out starting at 6 p.m. on Friday, May 29. Games, family entertainment and dinner will be provided. Activities will include tent decorating, family flag designing, s’mores and more. This is a great way to celebrate the beginning of the summer and create a family tradition and memories that will last a lifetime.

Pre-registration is required and may be done in person at MPCC. Cost is $15 per family. Families must provide their own tent. For more information, please call 4345749

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May 26, 2015 • The Loafer, Page 15

Embarrassment on Record

Facebook has introduced a new feature that allows you to view past posts from any given date.

It pops up in your notifications early in the morning, “You have memories with…” it says, and there is a digital archive of things I’ve said on Facebook going years back. As someone who often looses sleep because he can’t stop thinking about stupid things he said to people ten years ago, this has been tremendous. Yes, after an unrestful night thinking of that idiotic thing I said to that woman I really had a thing for last summer, I can wake to reminders of the times I came off looking like a total jackass on the internet.

I’m sure the hive brain at Facebook was thinking that this was something to allow you to recall all those great moments you shared with loved ones. In a way, Facebook has become the new Pepperidge Farm. “Remember that time you went bowling with your friends? Facebook remembers.”

Sure, it’s great to be reminded of those times, or the times you and your lover went for a run whilst constantly checking your Apple Watch, but what of the times that you don’t wish to be reminded of?

“Good Morning, Andy! You have memories today with that girl who broke your heart five years ago that you’ve never gotten over.

How would you like to see this memory? Wounded for the day, or emotionally crippled for the rest of the week?” No matter how hard you try to scrub signs of your past relationships from the Facebooks, it can still pop up and haunt you.

Something as mild as a tinge of this can be quite the set back for someone who still wonders if the person working the drive through at Captain D’s thinks he’s a little off.

I enjoy the mornings as much as

the next person does. I wake, take in a deep breath, get out of bed, throw open the drapes, raise the window, take in some fresh air, and greet the dawn by belting out the first verse of “Oh What a Beautiful Morning.” (That’s right neighbors, your cease and desist letters mean nothing to me!) After that great feeling in my heart and soul, how sad it is to think that I could have the whole thing crushed by some stupid Facebook post from three years ago.

The great question hovering above all of this is “Were the posts really stupid, or do I just see them as stupid.” I feel like the actual answer is somewhere in between those two extremes. A friend pointed out to me last night “you’re really hard on yourself.” They’re right, I am really hard on myself, probably too much if the truth is to be known. I am something of a perfectionist, which doesn’t really aid the situation. Sometimes I think a simple phrase of “Hello, how are you tonight?” actually comes out sounding like “My name is Mingo,

may I have a banana? Eep Eep!” In the face of our insecurities and past haunts, we must press on. For if the day comes that I find myself completely toppled from everything due to Facebook, that will be the day that I give up and will devote my life to eating discount plates of shrimp at Ryan’s. The memories feature of Facebook has its place, I’m sure without the feeling that your words are jumbled masses of mush, it may be a pleasant experience. Like bread from Pepperidge Farm or lemonade on the front porch on a hot Summer’s night. Something like that. I guess.

See you next week.

Page 16, The Loafer • May 26, 2015

Spotlight

TUESDAY - May 26

JASON LLOYD & FRIENDS at Biggie’s Clam Bar

lawsongarrett & THE LOVE

8pm at Acoustic Coffeehouse

WEDNESDAY - May 27 OPEN MIC

BLACK HAT

7pm at Sonny’s Marina & Cafe

SUNDOWN BAND (Country)

at Amvets Post 67

KIDS OUR AGE

at Friends of Kgt. Sr Center

GUY MARSHALL

8p at Bone Fire Smokehouse

SHOOTER

7pm at Marker “2” Grill

7pm at The Willow Tree Coffeehouse & Music Room

KEEP ON THE SUNNYSIDE

at Mad Greek Restaurant

at Biggie’s Clam Bar

JASON “THE COMBACK KID” EDWARDS

at Carter Family Fold

TBA at Triple B Brewery BLUES REVIEW BAND

SCOTT SOUTHWORTH

SOUTHERN COUNTRYMEN BAND (Country) at The Outdoorsman ASYLUM SUITE

THURSDAY - May 28

SATURDAY - May 30

JEFF SHAYNE

6pm at Sonny’s Cafe

at Acoustic Coffeehouse

at Country Club Bar & Grill

SHOOTER

Acoustic Coffeehouse

WHITETOP MOUNTAIN BAND

Biggies Clam Bar

(Country, Classic Rock, Oldies) 9pm at Elizabethton Moose Lodge

at Carter Family Fold

JERRY PIERCE & THE NIGHTLIFE BAND 8pm at The Dispensary

SPIVEY MOUNTAIN BOYS 7pm at David Thompson’s Produce

ALI RANDOLPH & THE OUTTA LUCK BAND at Country Club Bar & Grill

PLAN Z

at Triple B Brewery

BILLY CRAWFORD at Bone Fire Smokehouse

KYLE ADEM STERLING SPRINGS at Acoustic Coffeehouse

JAZZ at Wellington’s - Carnegie Hotel DJ LILLEY

WOLF CREEK

7pm at Marker “2” Grill

SUNDAY - May 31

DAVE EGGAR & DEORO

7pm at Painter Creek Marina

JOSH ARNOLD

7pm at Marker “2” Grill

8pm at JC Moose Lodge

KEEP ON THE SUNNYSIDE

at Bone Fire Smokehouse

(Country, Southern Rock, Oldies) 7pm at The Showpalace

7pm at Sonny’s Cafe

Thursday Jams 7pm at Abingdon Market Pavilion

MARK LARKINS

CATFISH FRYE BAND SOUTHERN COUNTRYMEN BAND (Country)

HIT & RUN BLUEGRASS

NIGHTSHIFT

SOUTHERN COUNTRYMEN BAND (Country) at The Showplace KEEP ON THE SUNNYSIDE

JASON ELLIS & ALL JACKED UP

at Carter Family Fold

ALEX KRUG TRIO

at The Acoustic Coffeehouse

FRIDAY - May 29 CATFISH FRYE BAND 8pm at Quaker Steak & Lube

DAVID A WISEMAN - da6d at Acoustic Coffeehouse

at Biggie’s Clam Bar

SOUTHERN REBELLION at Woodstone Deli

THE JONES BOYS

7pm at Sonny’s Marina & Cafe

WYLDEHEART

at Holiday Inn (exit 7)

PROMISE THE WORLD & BENT TO BREAK (Metal/Rock) 9pm at TN Veterans Post #1

6pm at Sonny’s Marina & Cafe

at Carter Family Fold

IVY ROAD

at Marker “2” Grill

LIVE MUSIC

at Bone Fire Smokehouse

JAKE SHANE JOHN THE REVELATOR at Acoustic Coffeehouse

MONDAY - June 1 SHINE DELPH OPEN MIC

at Acoustic Coffeehouse

415 W Walnut St. Johnson City 423/434.9872 Amvets Post 67 Honaker VA 417 W Stone Dr Kingsport 423/765-9633

Bone Fire Smokehouse at the Hardware

260 W Main St Abingdon Va 276/623-0037 Bristol’s Pickin’ Porch 620 State St Bristol 423/573-2262 Carter Family Fold 3449 A. P. Carter Hwy Hiltons Va 276/594-0676

Country Club Bar & Grill

3080 W State St Bristol 423/844-0400 David Thompson’s Produce 251 Highway 107 Jonesborough 423/913-8123 The Dispensary 271 Oak Avenue, Spruce Pine NC 828/765-0050 Elizabethton Moose Lodge 288 Lovers Lane Elizabethton 423/542-5454

Holiday Inn (Exit 7)

3005 Linden Dr Bristol Va 276/466-4100 Johnson City Moose Lodge 1801 W. Lakeview Dr. Johnson City 423/926-6400 Mad Greek Restaurant 2010 Franklin Terrace Johnson City 423/328-9070

Marker “2’ Grill

at Lakeview Marina 474 Lakeside Dock, Kingsport 423/323-4665 The Outdoorsman 4535 Highway 11W Kingsport Painter Creek Marina 766 Painter Creek Rd Bristol TN 423/878-5775 Quaker Steak & Lube 629 State St Bristol VA

www.theloaferonline.com

May 26, 2015 • The Loafer, Page 17

Directory 276/644-9647 Show Palace 14364 Lee Hwy Bristol Va 276/494-6610

Sonny’s Marina & Café

109 One St. Gray TN 423/283-4014 Triple B Brewery 935 Wilcox Ct. #105 Kingsport 423/963-3609 Wellington’s Restaurant Carnegie Hotel 1216 W State of Franklin Rd Johnson City • 423/979-6400 Woodstone Deli 3500 Fort Henry Dr Kingsport 423/245-5424

Jason Ellis & All Jacked Up May 30th @ Biggie’s Scott Southworth Wednesday, May 27 Acoustic Coffeehouse

Nashville Performing Singer/Songwriter Scott Southworth will be singing songs and raising money for the local Johnson City Meals on Wheels program Wednesday night, May 27 at the Acoustic Coffeehouse from 8-9:30.

Scott performs regularly at Nashville hot spots like the Bluebird Café and Douglas Corner as well as all over the country and at songwriter festivals abroad, sharing his easy wit, original songs and quick humor with his audience. “Hidden inside each one of Scott’s songs is a bit of each audience member. The connection that he makes is amazing. One minute you’re laughing out loud, the next your heartstrings are being tugged.” (Sally Bany, Meteor Lounge – Oregon) With many independent artists recording his songs across the country, Scott jokes that he’s just “2 verses and a chorus away from a hit song!”

Where ever he plays, Scott feels it’s important to give back to the community, specifically with the Meals on Wheels programs across the country. “Home bound seniors are some of our communities easily forgotten members. It takes so little…$100 - $150 dollars a month to feed one shut in for a MONTH. I’m always so humbled and inspired by the volunteers and the work they do for their community. Here in Johnson City the local organization is feeding an average of 135 seniors a day and over 1000 in an 8 county area!” Scott says.

That is why on Wednesday the 27th at the Acoustic Coffeehouse, 100% of the proceeds in the “tip jar” and 50% of CD sales goes directly to a representative of the local Johnson City Meals on Wheels Program.

Scott also co-hosts The Music Row Show, a weekly radio show that broadcasts live every Sunday evening to 38 states via The Legend, 650AM WSM (radio home to the Grand Ol’ Opry).

The program is also filmed for TV shown in over 250 US Markets on the BlueHighways TV Cable Network. www.scottsouthworth.com • http://www.facebook.com/FirstTennesseeHumanResourceAgency

Page 18, The Loafer • May 26, 2015

Handmade Graduation Cards

It’s the end of May and graduation is right around the corner.

This milestone in a young persons life can be emotional for all loving family and friends. It can also be costly.

For every invitation that fills your mailbox, you feel obligated to respond with a card and a chunk of cash. The graduate and their parents, who undoubtedly spent a small fortune on those lovely invitations, will of course cherish your kind gesture. But you can make the event even more special and less pricey with a cheap and original, handmade card.

This simple DIY requires only a few things: colored cardstock or construction paper, white printer paper, glue, scissors, and a ruler. If you want to make your card more elegant inside, you can print out some fun words, like “Congratulations,” on the printer paper.

To start, measure your construction paper or cardstock. Because I chose black construction paper, I used a white colored pencil to make markings at 4.25” wide and 10” long. Cut out this rectangle.

Now, this next part is the most important part of the project.

Draw a line at 5.5” and fold at that

line. Mark your rectangle at 3 3/8” and 7 5/8” on each side. Use your ruler to draw a line through your fold, from the 3 3/8” mark on the left and 7 5/8” on the right. Do the same for the other two markings, creating an X shape with your fold through the middle of the X. Fold your paper at each of the lines drawn.

Now, fold the corners at the top of your card in to create a diamond. Cut those corners so that your card folds into a graduation hat.

Next, cut your white printer paper into a 4” x 5.25” rectangle

and a 3” square. Because I printed words on my paper, I used the ruler to center them.

Draw a line at the 2” height mark on your rectangle. Fold your top corners into the center using the 2” marker as a base for the triangle your folds create. Cut the corners off. Paste this shape onto the bottom of your card.

Turn your 3” square so that it is a diamond shape. Cut two, parallel, 2” lines an inch from the top corner. Place a dot of glue on each corner and paste on the inside top of the card. You can now place

money for the graduate in these slits.

For the very top of the card, the graduation hat, I made my own tassel. This requires only embroidery string and scissors. I cut a few lengths of string, tied them around the middle, folded them in half, and wrapped a piece of string around the top.

I secured my tassel to the top of the card with glue and a plastic jewel. But you can use different charms depending on your graduate.

www.theloaferonline.com

May 26, 2015 • The Loafer, Page 19

Comedian Jim Florentine Murder Mystery Caravan to Perform in Kingsport to present “Dealt a Deadly Hand”

Comedian Jim Florentine, known for hosting “That Metal Show” on VH-1 and for his recurring appearances on MTV’s “Crank Yankers,” “Opie and Anthony,” and “Jimmy Kimmel Live” will perform at the Kingsport Renaissance Center, Saturday, September 19th at 8pm. Known for his irreverent comedy style, this is Mr Florentine’s first trip to Kingsport.

The event is hosted by etncomedy.com, a group whose goal is to bring A-List comedy to the Tri-Cities. “Since the main comedy club in Knoxville closed, fans in the Tri-Cities have had to travel to Nashville or Asheville to see nationally-known comedians,” says Dianna Daggs, the event’s promoter, “our goal is to change that.”

Given Mr. Florentine’s penchant for music, he will be preceded on stage by local metal band, Asylum Suite. There will be a craft beer tasting room provided by JRH Brewing Company, from Johnson City, TN. Doors open at 6:30pm, Asylum Suite and craft brew tasting starts at 7pm, and Jim Florentine goes on at 8pm. There will be a “meet and greet” with the band and Jim Florentine after the show, for autographs, pictures, and merchandise purchases. Attendees must be 18 years old to enter, and 21 years old to participate in the beer tasting.

Tickets are reserved seating and are on sale now, exlusively through etncomedy. com.

Get out your lucky hat, because the Murder Mystery Caravan is about to unveil a mystery dinner show that spoofs the movie “Casablanca” and the American dream of winning the jackpot.

Penned by Tony Schwartz and Marylou Ambrose, the show, “Dealt a Deadly Hand”, takes place at Rick’s Club, the first legal gambling casino in the area. Rick dreams of striking it rich – then two crafty Native Americans try to claim the land plus his gold-digging wife, Lola, shows up. Rick’s daughter, Candy, who has two-left feet, dreams of being a Vegas showgirl. Throw in a two-faced lawyer, an Australian Croc Chaser with bad luck, and two little old ladies on a gambling mission, and “making a killing” takes on a whole

new meaning. Will the Native Americans take over the casino? Will the Croc Chaser win back his farm? Will the Portabella sisters find their missing g-string? Will the lawyer decide how to play her cards? Will Lola and Rick get back together for richer or poorer? And will Rick ever be cured of his Bogart complex?

Keep your eyes and ears open because someone will cash in his or her chips tonight, and it’s up to the audience to solve the crime!

The dinner and show takes place on Saturday, May 30th at the SmokeHouse BBQ, 1941 Milligan Hwy., Elizabethton, TN. Seating is at 6PM. Cost for the dinner/show is $25.00 per person and reservations are required by calling (423) 547-7427.

Page 20, The Loafer • May 26, 2015

Happy 40th Birthday to European Space Agency

Forty years ago a group of European countries formed a space agency that today is a small but powerful force in the exploration of outer space.

The European Space Agency became official on May 31, 1975, and while ESA celebrates its four decades of exploring the Universe.

Among the space pioneers of Russia and America, the ESA stacks up with some incredible space missions that have provided us the singular opportunity to investigate a unique object up close.

In fact the world’s only closeup images of the famous Halley’s Comet, the surface of the planetsized moon Titan and the details of an awakening comet are just the highlights of the ESA’s space conquests the last 40 years.

It was Giotto that passed in front of the spewing Halley’s Comet in 1986 when the most famous comet

in history looped around the Sun in its 76-year orbit. In 2005, the NASA spacecraft Cassini began orbiting Saturn, which ejected a small ESA probe called Huygens toward giant moon Titan that floated under parachutes to the surface. And since October 2014, the spacecraft Rosetta has been flying in orbit around awakening comet Churyumov-Gerasimenko after depositing a successful lander called Philae.

Other ESA space probes that have added ground-breaking data include:1990 Ulysses, the first spacecraft to orbit the Sun’s poles; 1989 Hipparcos the first precise distance mapping of 100,000 nearby stars; and 1990 SOHO, the first to continuously observe the Sun. Both Ulysses and SOHO are still active.

Adding to the mounting data on the planets, ESA has also had great success with the just ended Venus Express that orbited the

planet since 2005, and the continuing mission of Mars Express, orbiting the Red Planet since 2005. Mars Express had a small lander, called Beagle, which was lost. An American Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter has found Beagle safely on the surface, and the image hints at a key solar panel for power failing to deploy and ruining the mission.

ESA has also pioneered the world’s most reliable rocket for blasting satellites off Earth, the Ariane IV, which has progressed over the decades to become the rocket choice for companies around the world. With the powerful Ariane rockets being launched from its Guiana Space Center near the equator at Kourou, French Guiana, Africa. ESA as become the third major player in delivery of valuable communications and other satellites to Earth orbit.

ESA is also a partner in the Inter-

national Space Station, providing the first reusable cargo modules, the Jules Verne, Leonardo and Columbus, and sending up European astronauts as member of the sixmonth Expedition crews.

Ahead for ESA are exciting missions that include ExoMars, an orbiter in 2016 and lander in 2018; Bepicolumbo, their first mission to Mercury in 2016; Solar Orbiter, the closest mission to the Sun in 2018; and Cheops, an astronomy mission in 2017 seeking more planets around nearby stars.

ESA has always been interested in astronomy space probes, and they have become the leaders in comet research. Starting with Comet Halley in 1986 and continuing with today’s ride-along with Comet Churyumov-Gerasimenko, our knowledge of these mysterious objects is because of ESA’s interplanetary spacecraft.

What is happening around Comet C-G is truly amazing as Rosetta keeps tabs on this awakening iceberg in space that is just a mile long and might be two comets smashed together.

The Philae lander was an incredible space coup as it provided the first close-up photos as well as data about the comet’s make-up after using a drill and chemical analysis.

The small lander---the size of a desk—didn’t deploy the harpoons to stabilize it on the low surface gravity of the comet, and it actually bounced several times (for an hour) before settling inconveniently in a crevice. That didn’t allow for solar panels to boast its energy after the batteries died after 60 hours, but there is hope that Philae will come back alive in the coming months.

Comet Churyumov-Gerasimenko is heading toward a loop around the Sun in November 2015, and Rosetta/Philae is along for the ride.

It will be exciting to see from closeup what a comet goes through as it thaws out in an eruptive burst of gas and debris that will throw out a tail millions of miles long.

Comets contain the most pristine materials in the Solar System so studying them closely reveals clues to the actual events that occurred in the primordial cloud we sprung from about 5 billion years ago.

Comets and their icy composition are theorized to have seeded the Solar System with all the water that is found on planets and moons.

That’s why the 1986 encounter of Halley’s Comet with ESA’s Giotto

was so huge. For the first timed the shape of a comet nucleus was imaged, and the spacecraft found the first evidence of organic material in a comet.

Comet Halley, known in history for more than 1,000 years, is large and the shape of a 10-mile potato.

Giotto encountered Halley when it was roaring with activity, the exact nucleus of the comet hard to see through all the erupting debris.

But the close-up images by Giotto are all we have until Comet Halley returns to again fly by Earth in 2063!

With space exploration being dictated by the politics of financial budgets, not one country can achieve all the scientific goals desired by its space scientists. American space interests are limited to the annual $19 billion budget of NASA—half of which is spent on aviation development and safety.

The Russian Space Agency spends about the same, and the ESA has around $7 billion annually to spend.

But when you look at the rewards in our computerized world of instantaneous information around the entire Earth, it’s hard to believe the complaints from bureaucrats and taxpayers who are footing the bills for space exploration. NASA’s annual budget represents just onehalf percent of the entire $3 trillion USA budget. That’s a half-cent for every dollar Congress spends!

The European Space Agency has provided valuable insight into our Universe with many of its amazing space probes. As mankind’s quest for knowledge expands off planet Earth, the ESA will be there paving its own way to the stars.

www.theloaferonline.com

Celestial events in the skies for the week of May 26- June 1, 2015 as compiled for The Loafer by Mark D. Marquette.

The waxing gibbous Moon starts the week in the belly of Leo the Lion, and ends in the claws of Scorpius the Scorpion. Venus is high above the west, and way above it is yellow Jupiter. Watch the next five week as these two brightest planets move closer to each other to nearly merge as one the last night of June.

Tues. May 26

Venus is so high in the western sky that it sets about 11:45 pm DST! The second planet is in the legs of Gemini the Twins, Pollux to the left and Castor to the right.

Wed. May 27

Jupiter is directly overhead at 10 pm and leads the nodding Leo the Lion toward the horizon as the night wears on, setting after midnight. You will be amazed the night of June 30th when Jupiter and Venus are so close to each other that they will almost merge as one star!

Thurs. May 28

On this 1959 date in space history, the first primates were launched into space—two monkeys named Able and Baker. They were recovered safely after a 15 minute sub-orbital flight.

Fri. May 29

The bright star near the Moon is Spica, in the sprawling constellation of Virgo the Virgin.

On this 1919 date in astronomy history, Albert Einstein’s General Theory of Relativity was proven in a test during a total eclipse of the Sun in South Africa by Eddingtond. As predicted, the gravity of the Sun bent the light from a close star, called gravitational lensing.

This was detected by photos taken at totality showing several stars near the limb of the Sun/Moon eclipse has moved in their sky coordinates.

out a couple times each night and defunct Venus Express and the 12see the celestial merry-go-round year continuing mission of Mars caused by the Earth turning east- Express. ward.

Mon. June 1 Sun. May 31 The gibbous Moon is to the left Sat. May 30 On this 1975 date in space his- of Saturn tonight in Scorpius, movThe moonlight doesn’t blot out the famous 2nd magnitude stars tory, the European Space Agency ing from the right (or west) side of that make up the Big Dipper, high was formed. Forty years later, Saturn Sunday night. Saturn begs in the north. Pointing to Polaris at ESA is a major player in the In- the attention of any telescope, and the North Pole, this asterism of the ternational Space Station, and has there is the Moon too! constellation Ursa Major is fun to had several highly successful inmove as the hours pass, so check it terplanetary missions in the now

May 26, 2015 • The Loafer, Page 21

Page 22, The Loafer • May 26, 2015

Raise Your Spyglass to Galileo

We live in an age of wonder – an age of reasoning, science and self-examination. But the centuries haven’t always been kind.

It took those of great mind and courage overcoming tremendous obstacles to have us arrive where we are today. Technologies had to be developed, invented from the crudest means, and a lack of proper resources and manufacturing weren’t the only hurdles: belief systems that limited public thought often proved nearly insurmountable.

In 1609, Galileo Galilei was 45 when he began improving upon

the telescope, creating the first truly practical design that would become widely known as the spyglass. In a time when educated thought was that the earth was fixed and immovable and was indeed the very center of the universe, Galileo’s own terrestrial observations were leading him instead to heliocentrism, the idea that the sun—not the earth—was the center of the universe and that we, as humans, being limited by our earth-bound perspective, were simply unaware of the fact. By 1616, he found himself beset by Roman inquisitors of the Catholic Church. Galileo’s find-

ings, not entirely correct but a huge step forward in scientific thought, were seen as contrary to scripture, and a deeper investigation ensued.

Suddenly, one of the greatest minds in human history was seen as a heretic. But Galileo was convinced by the Inquisition to publicly recant his findings, and he avoided judgment.

17 years later, Galileo was called once more to stand and defend himself against his ideas, accused of promoting heliocentrism again.

Even under threat of torture, he remained steadfast in his defense, but the Inquisition—among them

a scorned former friend, the Pope himself, Pope Urban VIII—this time, found him unforgivably guilty and, at the age of 69, Galileo was imprisoned.

Shortly after, Galileo Galilei was allowed to return home, under house arrest, but by 1638 he had gone completely blind. He remained under house arrest for the rest of his life, suffering heart problems. He died broken and uncelebrated in 1642 at age 77.

How could something as simple as making observations through a spyglass lead to such persecution and so unbefitting an end? Perhaps the answer is so obvious that few of us are willing to admit it: because we are human. We are simple and imperfect. Our thoughts and beliefs are powerful, tangible. Often

dangerous. We improve as the centuries unfold, but are we improving quickly enough? How many years of personal progress have been lost because of our inability to see past our own clouded horizons?

Only in 1737, 95 years after his death, were Galileo’s remains finally given a proper burial in the main body of the Basilica of Santa Croce, Italy, where a monument vindicates the importance of his contributions to our history. A tooth and three fingers were taken from his remains, presumably as historical relics, and the middle finger from his right hand can still be looked upon today in Florence at the Museo Galileo. Enjoy. Raise your spyglass to Galileo. His accolades—those he would never know—were hard-won.

www.theloaferonline.com

May 26, 2015 • The Loafer, Page 23

‘Hit and Run’ back on stage at Bonefire Smokehouse On one of those walks in 2011, Rebecca happened upon one of Nashville’s most treasured and respected producers. “I was strolling my son in East Nashville when I recognized Brent Truitt (Dixie Chicks, Alison Krauss, Dolly Parton) on the sidewalk–we’d jammed at a bluegrass party years before. We started chatting, and he invited us to his son’s birthday.”

Frazier and Truitt talked about working together in the future. “I called him a few weeks later and said, ‘Let’s do this.’”

When We Fall is something different for Frazier: a collection of self-penned bluegrass and Americana songs, presented in a classic way. “I’m inspired by music from

Bone Fire Smokehouse will be bringing the smoking hot bluegrass band Hit and Run back to their stage Thursday the 28th of May. Showtime is 8pm. As always, it is free It’s no secret that artists sometimes create their most authentic works in moments of despair.

While intentions to repair their own broken hearts can supersede their desire to communicate with the public, the rawness of their experiences often creates a bridge to the hearts and minds of others.

It is a circumstance such as this that brought guitarist, singer, and

songwriter Rebecca Frazier to her newest work.

Frazier achieved notoriety in the bluegrass world as the first woman ever to appear on the cover of Flatpicking Guitar Magazine, and is widely known for her work with award-winning Colorado-based band, Hit & Run. In November 2010, Frazier was faced with a void after the loss of her second son, Charlie. Uncertain of the future, and trying to move forward while continuing to raise her first son, a toddler at the time, she turned her attention to her writing. She’d hoped to revisit her muse once her

second son was of school age, but life had different plans. And as life can do, it took another turn during Frazier’s unplanned return to the studio in 2012–the birth of her first daughter, Cora, took place during the recording of her forthcoming May 28 Compass Records release, When We Fall.

“The temptation was to hide under a rock,” Frazier says of the loss of her son. “But even grieving is impossible with a toddler in the house. I dusted off old journals with half-written songs. I took my son walking in Shelby Park and sang melodies.”

the 1970’s,” she says. “early Bonnie Raitt; old-school Tony Rice and Dave Grisman Quintet; Neil Young: this music feels like home to me,” she says. And but for the one Neil Young cover, Frazier has divulged a lot of herself with her ten original songs, while still showcasing the shredding guitar skills she’s known for. In songs like “Love Go Away From This House” and “Darken Your Doorway,” she offers painful perspectives from failed love, and, as she puts it, “all the bad that comes with the good.” Yet there are hopeful notes about long-term romance in “Walk This Road” and “Morn-

Hit and Run ......

Continued on page 25

Page 24, The Loafer • May 26, 2015

In Theaters Now

Box Office Top 10 Pitch Perfect 2 (2015)

“Mad Max: Fury Road” The character of Mad Max first appeared on theater screens back in 1979, and starred a young Mel Gibson. Flash forward to 2015, and the character is back in the new film “Mad Max: Fury Road”, but Gibson is not. However, the director of the original, George Miller, has returned. Stepping into the role of “Mad” Max Rockatansky is Tom Hardy (“The Dark Knight Rises”), and he certainly makes the role his own. The reboot of sorts, is still a post-apocalyptic story set in a future desert wasteland, where gasoline and water are coveted by all. At the beginning of the film we are introduced to a horrific looking leader, Immortan Joe (Hugh Keays-Byrne), who having established a cult, rules over an area of the wasteland, and the men who serve him are all done up in white make up. He is, however, aided by a woman, Furiosa (Charlize Theron), who often drives an armored tanker to collect gasoline.

As Furiosa and a group of the cult’s men are about to embark on a mission, a captured “blood donor”, Max (Hardy), attempts to escape, only to be captured once more and is placed on the front of one of the vehicles to be used in the journey. Max is being used as basically a “blood bag” for one of the sick War Boy (the name for the white painted army of Joe) drivers named Nux (Nicholas Hoult).

As the group leaves on their gasoline retrieving mission, Joe has no idea his Five Wives, used solely for breeding, are hidden in Furiosa’s tanker. Furiosa is determined to lead the women to freedom in the area where she lived as a child before being captured by the cult.

Once Joe realized his wives are gone, he gathers the entire War

After a humiliating command performance at Lincoln Center, the Barden Bellas enter an international competition that no American group has ever won in order to regain their status and right to perform.

well-deserved vacation. He heads to Vegas with his teenage daughter before she heads off to college. But safety never takes a holiday and when duty calls, Blart answers.

The Age of Adaline (2015)

A young woman, born at the turn of the 20th century, is rendered ageless after an accident. AfMad Max: Fury Road (2015) In a stark desert landscape ter many solitary years, she meets where humanity is broken, two a man who complicates the eternal rebels just might be able to restore life she has settled into. order: Max, a man of action and of few words, and Furiosa, a woman Home (2015) Oh, an alien on the run from his of action who is looking to make it own people, lands on Earth and back to her childhood homeland. makes friends with the adventurAvengers: Age of Ultron (2015) ous Tip, who is on a quest of her When Tony Stark and Bruce own.

Banner try to jump-start a dormant peacekeeping program called Ul- Ex Machina (2015) A young programmer is selected tron, things go horribly wrong and it’s up to Earth’s Mightiest Heroes to participate in a breakthrough to stop the villainous Ultron from experiment in artificial intelligence by evaluating the human qualities enacting his terrible plans. of a breathtaking female A.I.

Hot Pursuit (2015)

An uptight and by-the-book cop tries to protect the outgoing widow of a drug boss as they race through Texas pursued by crooked cops and murderous gunmen.

Far from the Madding Crowd (2015)

Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015)

Source: IMDb.com (5/26/2015)

In Victorian England, the independent and headstrong Bathsheba Everdene attracts three very different suitors: Gabriel Oak, a sheep farmer; Frank Troy, a reckFurious Seven (2015) Deckard Shaw seeks revenge less Sergeant; and William Boldagainst Dominic Toretto and his wood, a prosperous and mature bachelor. family for his comatose brother.

After six years of keeping our malls safe, Paul Blart has earned a

Boy army in hot pursuit of Furiosa and company. As one might expect, Max eventually joins Furiosa in her effort to escape, as does a surprise guest. The chases are exciting and the vehicles are a sight to behold, as is most everything in the movie. The movie doesn’t exactly make one wish for such

leave you breathless with the relentless action.

The film is also very loud, with all the chases, explosions, and bombastic soundtrack. This film is like combining a rock concert with a roller coaster and a car race. an alarming future, but is great Noise aside, the film looks beautifor storytelling. The actors are all ful, and George Miller proves you wonderful, and Hardy holds noth- can remake an old film and actuing back in his rough and tumble ally improve upon all aspects of portrayal of Max. Theron abso- the original. I highly recommend lutely owns her role as the justice “Mad Max: Fury Road”, but expect seeking Furiosa, and has several to have all your scenes assaulted, memorable fights with Hardy. so strap yourself in your seat, and This film is off-the-chain, and will enjoy this cinematic thrill ride.

Rated: R

A-

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May 26, 2015 • The Loafer, Page 25

Hit and Run ...... Continued from page 23 ing & Night.” There’s an old-time feel to “Better Than Staying,” in which each character’s restlessness to keep moving culminates in the calm peace of a dying mother.

The song, “When We Fall,” Rebecca says, “asks a question about losing our innocence. Can we fall down and lose self-respect, but get back up and look ourselves in the eye?” The album ends with “Babe In Arms,” a lilting string-band lullaby for her son.

The album places Frazier right in line behind the bluegrass women that preceded her—the driving track “Ain’t Gonna Work Tomorrow” is reminiscent of early recordings of Alison Krauss, while instrumentals such as “Virginia Coastline” and “Clifftop” give a tip of the hat to guitar legends Tony Rice and the late jazz guitarist Emily Remler, about whom Frazier wrote her Honors Senior Thesis at the University of Michigan.

Accompanying Rebecca are a host of world-class acoustic artists: her husband and musical partner John Frazier on mandolin & vocals (Steve Martin, Jim Lauderdale, John Cowan), bassist Barry Bales (Alison Krauss), banjo genre-bender Scott Vestal (Sam Bush), Dobro genius Andy Hall (Infamous Stringdusters), fiddle virtuoso Shad Cobb (John Cowan), banjo innovator Ron Block (Alison Krauss), and, on backing vocals, her longtime Western compatriot, Shelby Means (Della Mae).

Originally from Virginia, Frazier is perhaps best known for her work with Hit & Run Bluegrass, which made history as the only band to win competitions at Rockygrass (2002), Telluride Bluegrass Festival (2003), and the SPBGMA Band Championship in Nashville (2005). Driven by Rebecca and John’s leadership, Hit & Run became one of Colorado’s most electrifying acoustic touring acts.

According to Denver’s Westword, “Something’s got to be up when one bluegrass band suddenly surpasses all the others.”

The group was launched as a successful touring act out of Colorado, gracing stages of prestigious festivals and venues in 36 states and Canada, and eventually mi-

grating to Nashville in 2007 with two studio albums under their belts. Once there, the group’s mandolinist (and Rebecca’s husband), John Frazier, was offered a position with John Cowan Band.

The timing was right. “I was daydreaming about starting a family,” says Rebecca. “I knew I couldn’t make the leap into motherhood while living on the interstate and at festivals.” Her first child was born. Hit & Run continued to tour, albeit not full-time. Rebecca continued her studio work (she’s a featured performer on Curb Records’ 2012 release, The Last Ride, the soundtrack for the 20th Century Fox movie, and she and John produced three records for CMH Records’ Pickin’ On series); she used her spare time to write.

The result is the engaging and transparent When We Fall.

Grammy Award winning musician Alison Brown hails Frazier by saying, “Rebecca Frazier is a triple threat. She is a wonderfully engaging singer, a compelling songwriter and an accomplished guitarist to boot. All of these talents come together to dazzling effect on When We Fall. I’m proud of Rebecca for what she’s achieved on this album, for her tenacity in pursuing her dream, and for recording one of the best bluegrass albums I’ve heard this year.”

While the album showcases Rebecca’s longstanding passion for guitar with several barn-burning originals, listeners will also hear the pure, pining—and at times exposed—soprano tones of a woman who has matured through seasons of heartbreak, loss, and love. It’s unusual for a touring musician to move to Nashville with the intention of having children soon after, but motherhood has seasoned and enhanced Frazier’s music.

In Flatpicking Guitar Magazine, Dan Miller writes, “Rebecca has worked incredibly hard…to get where she is today. And although she has achieved great success, she continues to be very passionate about her music and her guitar playing. I predict that many will point to Rebecca as a role model, inspiration, and guitar hero. Her journey is one that should serve to inspire any guitar player, singer or songwriter.”

Are you ready for a statewide challenge?

Help Kingsport walk across the state of Tennessee in this fun and exciting challenge.

We are partnering with the UT Extension Service to provide an 8-week “Walk Across TN”. The start date is June 1 and the end date is July 31. A team consists of 5 people (1 captain and up to 4 more members). We have an online registration form at www.heatlhykingsport.org and an opportunity for the captain to report steps as often as he or she would like. We will track progress and it will be updated automatically as captains enter their information. This is a self-reporting tool, and the captain should encourage team members to use phones, fitbits, pedometers, etc to track steps and to report daily. We will have a prize for the team that walked the farthest as well as all teams who make it across TN. More details on our website. For more information contact Heather Cook at 423-502-0541.

Page 26, The Loafer • May 26, 2015

It’s a Smoot Point Man, I miss college. It seems like every day (or night) of those four wonderful years was source material for some kind of crazy antic and subsequent story that I continue to retell again and again, as though reliving it will somehow carry me back in time and away from the doldrums of adulthood.

I imagine that just about everyone who attended college can relate to this, all the more so if your four years was actually five. Or six.

Or seven. You don’t have to be a party animal to act out and stretch the boundaries of your new-

found freedom, though. Some of the most creative and memorable pranks (for lack of a more contemporary word) have come from the minds of the gifted few attending the most prestigious colleges and universities anywhere. Such is certainly the case as far as students at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) are concerned.

Just ask Oliver Smoot.

Stemming from an infamous incident one night in 1958, Oliver Smoot has joined the ranks of Newton, Pascal, and Joule in the elite club of folks who have had

measurements named after them -- I don’t believe Gram Parsons qualifies here. As it happened, a few guys who were pledging the Lambda Chi Alpha fraternity got the bright idea to memorialize one of their own, the aforementioned Smoot, as a unit of length.

In order to implement this concept, they made their way over to the Harvard Bridge, which spans the Charles River from Boston to Cambridge (where MIT is located) and proceeded to measure how long the bridge is in Smoot bodylengths. Now, one might think that

to go about this they might measure Smoot once and divide that number by the overall length of the bridge. But what fun would that be?

Instead, they asked (told, forced, whatever) Smoot to lie down at one end of the bridge. Upon marking how far toward the opposite end his body extended, they then had him get up and lie down at the new mark so they could measure him again. Over the course of several hours, the aspiring frat brothers proceeded to measure the length of the entire bridge in terms of “Smoots”. Eventually, they came to find that the bridge

measures 364.4 smoots + 1 ear, as is now emblazoned on the bridge for all eternity. In fact, there are permanent markers at every fiftieth Smoot, as well as an additional one at Smoot #69 (some things never change).

So what ever became of young Mr. Smoot? Believe it or not, he went on to become President of the American National Standards Institute, and later, the International Organization for Standardization. So you see? The guy not only became a measurement (now included in the American Heritage Dictionary), but somehow found a way to make a career out of it!

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May 26, 2015 • The Loafer, Page 27

Jonesborough Welcomes Storyteller Pipp Gillette While you’ll recognize him by the 10-gallon number he wears on top of his head, Pipp Gillette wears a lot of other hats, at least metaphorically speaking. The cowboy musician is a seasoned storyteller and an active rancher, managing herds of cattle on the Texas property that once belonged to his grandfather.

The unusual performer will soon bring his singular sensibility center stage at the International Storytelling Center’s intimate theater in downtown Jonesborough. As the next teller in residence for the organization’s vaunted Storytelling Live! series, Gillette will offer daily matinees. These shows run daily at 2:00 p.m., June 2 – 6 (Tuesday through Saturday). Tickets for all shows are just $12 for adults and $11 for seniors, students, and children under 18.

While the word “cowboy” can conjure up a fellow with a specific sort of taste, Gillette’s cultural touchstones range widely in conversation. He speaks just as easily about his lifelong love for the Beatles as his skill in castrating cattle. Because he grew up in upstate New York, Gillette’s conversant with both city life and the art of building a community in the middle of nowhere. His love of Texas started early, when he and his brothers spent their summers working on their grandfather’s land. Now Gillette has been at it long enough to develop countless stories about a cowboy’s take on modern life and traditional music.

A talented player of guitar and banjo, among other instruments, Gillette and his late brother Guy have filled eight recorded albums with original cowboy music. In Jonesborough, Gillette will share many of those songs, along with a few new pieces from his recent collaboration with Waddie Mitchell. For their first album together, Gillette was the music man, while Mitchell wrote most of the lyrics. The fruits of their labor will be commercially available this summer.

During his time as storyteller in residence, Gillette plans to share many of the stories behind his original songs as well as context for the more traditional music he plays. Filtered through his love of rock and folk, his slow Western tunes are as deep as his hat is wide.

Advance purchase for tickets for Gillette’s matinee performances is highly recommended. Ticket holders will save 10 percent on same-day dining at The Dining Room, Jonesborough General Store and

Eatery, or Main Street Café. Season passes that offer nearly half off the price of regular admission are also available while supplies last.

Information about all TIR performers, as well as a detailed schedule for 2015, is available at www.storytellingcenter.net. Storytelling Live! is supported by program sponsors CrestPoint Health, Eastman Chemical Company and Eastman Credit Union, and media sponsors News 5-WCYB, FOX TriCities, Tri-Cities CW, Johnson City Press, Kingsport Times-News, Herald & Tribune, Cumulus Media and Foster Signs. Additional funding comes from the National Endowment for the Arts, the Tennessee Arts Commission, and the Niswonger Foundation.

The International Storytelling Center is open 10 a.m. – 5 p.m., Monday through Saturday. For more information about Storytelling Live! or to make a group reservation, call (800) 952-8392 ext. 222 or (423) 913-1276.

Page 28, The Loafer • May 26, 2015

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May 26, 2015 • The Loafer, Page 29

Less Than Lethal Ammunition

Great strides have been taken in the realm of non-lethal or less than lethal ammunition over the last two decades. I always make a point to mention non-lethal ammo when teaching my concealed carry classes, specifically for home defense.

You might be thinking that this type of ammunition is ridiculous, in fact I’ve heard “If they come in my house they deserve to be shot with real bullets” more times than I care to remember. While I agree there are times when deadly force is unavoidable, it should never be the go to option. Because I’ve said it a hundred times, and I’ll say it a hundred more, that person breaking into your house is a PERSON. They are someone’s son, brother, husband, and friend. If you can stop the threat without taking that person’s life than you have a moral obligation to do so. I must reiterate I am in no way saying risk yours or your family’s lives to save the intruder’s, but do everything in your power to avoid deadly force because I can guarantee when you’re on the stand the first question the prosecutor is going to ask is “Did you do every-

thing in your power to avoid killing Mr. Smith?” and yes they will use the intruder’s name to remind the jury he was a person.

So how can you avoid killing the person while protecting yourself and your family? I highly recommend having a tactical 12 Gauge shotgun for home defense, by tactical I mean having a shorter barrel than a hunting shotgun and preferably a higher capacity tube.

I personally recommend a Mossberg 500 or a Remington 870. The next step is to invest in some nonlethal shells, and load the rest with solid lead buckshot. Please do not use birdshot or target shot! This is cruel and unusual, often the victim will die slowly, as doctors are unable to remove the pellets, and they shred soft tissue like hamburger. I would be willing to bet my last dollar that after you shoot

an intruder twice with rubber buckshot or beanbags they will be in no condition to harm you. I would be sure to inform them the next round is real buckshot.

So there are four options for non-lethal rounds. The first two come to us courtesy of the Dept. of Corrections, who realized after a century or so that killing unarmed prisoners fighting or trying to escape might be unethical. So they developed “Rubber Bullets” which ironically were fired at such high speeds they still killed prisoners.

Innovations have been made, and while head shots can still be fatal, it’s far better now for everyone involved. My personal favorite is the bean bag. Imagine getting hit with a hacky-sack flying 300 miles an hour, oh yeah that’ll get your in-

truder’s attention. Third we have a very new concept, which is plastic pellets, which soften under the heat of the round being fired so it’s like being shot with 100 airsoft bb’s that also happen to be molten hot. Again, he’s going to be far too busy writhing in pain to harm you or your family. Lastly a true classic, the rock salt round. While factory rock salt rounds are available, I always made my own. The only thing more painful than molten airsoft bb’s for me to imagine is red hot salt. While most stores carry one of these options you may have to look online for the one you want. As always I hope you enjoyed this article, and if you have any questions or concerns please feel free to email me. I always look forward to your feedback.

Page 30, The Loafer • May 26, 2015

Where Have All The Guitar Solos Gone?

In what sounds like an anachronism, a recent LA Times article written by Casey Rae, declares that “There’s a disturbing new trend in country music: Producers are cutting out instrumental sections to make the songs fit certain broadcast formats.” I had assumed that commercial broadcast radio had gone the way of the eight-track tape, but apparently some people think this format is alive and well. I can’t recall the last time I’ve paid attention to commercial radio broadcasts, but I feel I must come to the defense of anyone who thinks instrumental breaks are inconsequential, whether they’re talking about country music or not.

Apparently, decisions are being made to shorten songs in order to make room for more commercials (hence the name “commercial radio”). And it seems that guitar solos are the villains in this piece.

Guess these annoying solos are providing an unwelcome break from the song’s lyrics, which the producers obviously believe are the only important components of a hit song. Why not just have all country music artists sing acapella? That would certainly shorten most songs, thereby enabling programmers to squeeze in more commercials. And just think of the money that could be saved by not having to hire all those studio instrumentalists.

Rae believes there are more than just commercial concerns behind this attempt to ax guitar solos. For instance, in this YouTube age in which we live, our attention spans have been dramatically shortened, and “the Internet has made it

more difficult for some to focus on anything longer than a cat video.”

As a guitarist, Rae disagrees with this disturbing new trend and reminds the reader of the many musicians who have been inspired by guitar solos. Of course. I agree for many reasons, including the fact that instrumental components, not lyrics, are the first things I listen to in a song. I am more fascinated by chord progressions than I am by words, so I guess that makes me the bitter enemy of those guitar

chopping producers Rae profiles.

The phenomenon Rae writes about is nothing new, of course.

Throughout the history of commercial music, the length of musical recording has been dictated by several factors. First, in the pre-digital era, vinyl albums and later cassette tapes could only accommodate music of a very proscribed length. The vinyl albums I used to buy in those prehistoric days before the advent of CDs could only hold about fifteen or

twenty minutes of music per side, and cassettes followed this format. Second, commercial radio programmers dictated that songs would not receive airplay unless they were under three minutes in length. Third, hit songs have always had to contend with shortened attention spans.

When I was growing up with Top 40 radio, I seldom heard a song that lasted more than three minutes. At that young age, I wasn’t listening to much classical music or jazz, two idioms that treated their listeners to much longer playing times per selection in their album formats. Needless to say, I rarely had the opportunity to hear these selections from my car in my little North Carolina mountain town.

All this changed in the late Sixties and early Seventies with the emergence of alternative FM radio and the appearance of “album versions” of hit songs. I remember vividly a life-changing moment back in late 1967 when I was listening to a radio broadcast while on a car trip with my Dad. I was thrilled when the exciting Ray Manzarek “Light My Fire” organ intro to the Doors’ hit song came through the speakers. And, I feeling relieved that my Dad didn’t switch the station when this song came on (he was no fan of Top 40 rock), I sat back and looked forward to enjoying the next three minutes; I had just begun to play the organ and was both inspired and intimidated

by Manzarek’s considerable skills on his Vox Continental combo organ. Suddenly, and without warning, I was transported to another world when something very unexpected happened—just I was getting ready for the song’s last verse, Manzarek launched into a lengthy improvised instrument solo (based on John Coltrane’s “Ole,” although I didn’t know that at the time) soon joined by Robby Krieger’s guitar. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Since I had not yet heard the album, I had no idea this alternate version of the song existed. It was at then and there moment that I began to dislike Top 40 commercial radio (with its “radio edit” fare) and started to gravitate toward the new “album rock” FM stations and their more enticing alternative experiences.

An AM radio milestone occurred, however, when Richard Harris’ “MacArthur Park” was released

in 1968 and made history by being the first Top 40 hit to break the three minute rule, clocking in at just over seven minutes. I suppose the current battle over excising instrumental solos began with Harris’ song, which, much to his credit, songwriter Jimmy Webb refused to cut for commercial release.

“Light My Fire” was the first of many songs that suffered edits upon their Top 40 release. Perhaps the most infamous is Iron Butterfly’s 1968 party anthem, “InA-Gadda-Da-Vida,” which was pared down to a three-minute radio edit from its bloated seventeen minute album version (both versions are pretty insufferable, yet essential). Instrumental interludes are not the only things that producers have cut. Sometimes lyrics fall prey to the editor’s dubious skills.

Take The Eagle’s classic “country” song, “Lyin’ Eyes,” for example.

I detest the radio edit, because its most important explanatory verse is missing—the one that begins with the lines, “She wonders how it ever got this crazy.”

Closely allied with the despicable practice of radio edits are those annoying moments when inane DJs talk over instrumental intros.

I generally experience road rage when an announcer rudely talks over the Hammond Organ intro to Procol Harum’s “Whiter Shade Of Pale” and (of course) Manzarek’s aforementioned organ riff that introduces “Light My Fire.” I have always suspected that those annoying and non-essential DJs harbor deep animosities toward organ players.

At this point in my life, I feel very fortunate that I don’t have to listen to commercial radio and therefore don’t have to worry too much about all those guitar (and organ) solo edits. I do, however, feel sorry for those very talented instrumentalists whose work is not appreciated. And I do realize that some of this nonsense occasionally rears its ugly head on streaming services, but I am appreciative every time I get the opportunity to hear the entire album version of “Light My Fire” and the uninterrupted intro to “A Whiter Shade Of Pale.”

See you next week. In the meantime, I hope you will enjoy many “album version” moments, replete with lengthy and unedited instrumental solos.

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