Page 2, The Loafer • November 25, 2014
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November 25, 2014 • The Loafer, Page 3
Volume 28 Issue #51
Publisher - Bill Williams • Editor/Graphic Arts Director - Don Sprinkle • Office Manager - Luci Tate Cover Design - Bill May Advertising - Dave Carter, Terry Patterson Contributing Staff - Jim Kelly, Andy Ross, Ken Silvers, Mark Marquette, Jessica Gilliam Published by Tree Street Media, LLC., P.O. Box 3238, Johnson City, TN 37602 Phone: 423/283-4324 FAX - 423/283-4369 www.theloaferonline.com • info@theloaferonline.com e-mail: editorial@theloaferonline.com (editorial) adcopy@theloaferonline.com (advertising) All advertisements are accepted and published by the publisher upon the representation that the agency and/or advertiser is authorized to publish the entire contents and subject matter thereof.The agency and/or advertiser will indemnify and save the publisher harmless from any loss of expense resulting from claims or suits based upon contents of any advertisement,including claims or suits for defamation,libel,right of privacy,plagiarism,and copyright infringement.
Page 4, The Loafer • November 25, 2014
During this week of Thanksgiving (which of course should be every week of the year), let’s make a list of all those things that make our life worth living. As I compile my list each year I take my inspiration from the list made by Issac Davis, the character played by Woody Allen in his marvelous film “Manhattan” (1979). After realizing he made a mistake by sending his much-younger girlfriend, Tracy, on her way, Isaac records this list into his tape recorder while reclining on the couch: “Why is life worth living? It’s a very good question. Um... Well, There are certain things I guess that make it worthwhile. uh... Like what... okay... um... For me, uh... ooh... I would say... what, Groucho Marx, to name one thing... uh... um... and Wilie Mays... and um... the 2nd movement of the Jupiter Symphony... and um... Louis Armstrong, recording of Potato Head Blues... um... Swedish movies, naturally... Sentimental Education by Flaubert... uh... Marlon Brando, Frank Sinatra... um... those incredible Apples and Pears by Cezanne... uh... the crabs at Sam Wo’s... uh... Tracy’s face...” This list has always struck me as being very honest and realistic. In real life, we group things like this together—Mozart, Louis Armstrong, Cezanne’s still life, Groucho Marx, and the face of a loved one. Ultimately it is very fitting that lists like this should end with someone’s face. My lists of things that make life worth living and for which we (or I, since I don’t expect all of you to agree with the list you are about to read) should give thanks are moving targets and change daily. What seemed irreplaceable today might seem passé and trivial tomorrow, and vice versa. Nevertheless, listing things for which we are thankful is a worthwhile activity, especially this week. So, here goes with my list, which will probably be entirely different by the time you
are reading this column. The Hammond Organ solo by Jon Lord on Deep Purple’s “Hush” (1968). Taking a fairly lackluster hit by Billy Joe Royal and making it imminently listenable, Lord’s incredible solo, which occurs at the three-minute mark of the song, is one of life’s great pleasures and gives us plenty of reasons to give thanks for Laurens Hammond, the inventor of the organ upon which Lord does his almighty work (and the instrument that gave me the gift of music, despite my futile efforts to duplicate Lord’s solo on its dual keyboards and pedalboard). Any sentence from F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby (1925), especially the famous and oft-quoted last paragraphs. Although I generally don’t get too upset when people consult Cliff’s or Sparks Notes for plot summaries, anyone who does this for this great American novel should serve jail time for not actually reading perhaps one of the most beautifully-constructed books in the English language (a close second being Nabokov’s Lolita). And, while we are at it, we should also give special thanks for Maureen Corrigan, whose recently-published So We Read On: How The Great Gatsby Came To Be And Why It Endures is a pure reading delight, and serves as the indispensible tribute for the novel’s upcoming ninetieth anniversary this coming April. Echoing the aforementioned list from the Woody Allen movie, any decent Thanksgiving list must include The Marx Brothers. The world would indeed be a better place if more people would include the movies made by these zany brothers during the 1930s and 1940s in their playlists. Although the brothers didn’t write most of their lines, they delivered them in unforgettable ways and continue to give us much needed symbols of anarchy in a way-too-
uptight world. Groucho might be the most famous, but his brother Harpo was the heart and soul of the bunch and is still a constant inspiration. Mad Magazine. Without this anti-authoritarian publication, I would be a far different person. I watched the Sixties unfold through the pages of Mad, and learned from its authors and artists how not to take the world too seriously. Thanks to Alfred E. Neuman and the Usual Gang of Idiots for being my mentors during my formative years and for showing me that learning can and should take place outside the classroom. My 2005 iPod. I still have this neat little device and play it in my car nearly every day. My wife and daughter (other reasons for which to give thanks) bought this for me in 2006, and using it changed the way I not only think about mu-
sic but also about life. Seeing the world as a playlist was a revelation to me, and my playlist contains everything from Bach to Daft Punk, with every stop in between. And, needless to say, “Hush” occupies a treasured spot in the playlist, along with over three-thousand other tunes. A piece of knotty-pine paneling from Kelly’s Motel. The name of this column comes from my parents’ motel where I grew up in the mountains of western North Carolina. Although the building no longer exists physically (along with my parents, Laura and Paul Kelly), this piece of paneling is a visible link to some very pleasant (and some not-so-pleasant) memories. My small bow-tie collection. My most memorable accomplishment this year has been learning to tie a bow tie, which for me is a
reminder of how important it is to learn something new every day. And I hope you are surrounded by reminders of the importance of life-long learning as well. I hope you can see how this list is about more than just the objects I’ve listed. It should be a reminder of how we can find many reasons for giving thanks in music, technology, movies, books, anarchy, learning, loved ones, and all the things we call “evocative” (those things, like my piece of paneling, that recreate worlds, both past and present, every time we examine them). And, before I go, I must say I am very thankful for the opportunity I have each week to share my thoughts with you, and I am grateful that you check into Kelly’s Place from time to time.
Here’s wishing you and your loved ones a very special week filled with abundant reasons for which to be thankful.
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8 Days of Christmas
For more than 14 years, Natural Tunnel State Park has provided Christmas Lighting of the Tunnel for the community and region. The program is held each Friday and Saturday Nov. 28 – Dec. 20, 6:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m. Experience thousands of Christmas Lights as they light your way down the chairlift and out to the mouth of
the tunnel. View movable displays of Santa, reindeer, and other critters. Once you are at the Tunnel, enjoy the sounds and smells of Christmas. Local church choirs/ performers entertain you as you stand by the warm fire and sip hot chocolate from our concession stand. If children have been good, they can talk to Santa Claus at the
mouth of the tunnel. To kick off this year’s event, the park will provide a special program called “Give a Friend a Lift.” On Friday, November 28, 2014 only, if you bring in nonperishable food items you get a free chairlift ride. The food collected, on this one day, will go to a local food bank. Last year, the
park raised over 400 non-perishable food items. Help us exceed 400 food items this year by coming out and supporting your local food bank. This one simple act of giving may change one family’s Christmas. Each Friday and Saturday night Nov. 28 – Dec. 20 the Daniel Boone Wilderness Trial Association will have a period dressed re-enactor at the Carter Cabin telling stories about the time period of 1775 and talking about the history of the Carter Cabin. Come check out one of the older buildings within Scott County. Santa will be at the tunnel every Friday and Saturday from November 28th through December 20th from 6:30-8:30 p.m. If you are still looking for Christmas gifts, the Visitor Center has a great selection of items. Other than Nov. 28, the cost for the program is $4 to park and $3 per person to ride the chairlift. For more information, please call (276) 940-2674.
Have an event coming up? Email a press release and photos to:
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Page 6, The Loafer • November 25, 2014
Firefighters remind residents of
Cooking Safety Tips around the holidays
During the Thanksgiving season, the chances of cooking fires increases and often result in lifethreatening consequences. According to the National Fire Protection Association (NFPA), cooking fires are the leading cause of home fires and Thanksgiving is the peak day for home cooking fire to occur. Since 2011, more than 1,200 cooking fires happened on Thanksgiving Day throughout the United States. According to BTFD Assistant Chief and Fire Marshall Jack Spurgeon, from January 2014 to current day the Bristol Tennessee Fire Department has responded to 32 cooking fires. “Many of the city’s residents enjoying frying turkeys during the holidays, and with Thanksgiving right around the corner we want our residents to keep our safety tips in mind so there holiday celebration doesn’t include a visit from us and the meal doesn’t go up in flames,” said Spurgeon. To help prevent cooking fires and related injuries, the department offers the following tips: • Use a timer as a reminder that the oven is on • Stay alert and avoid cooking
while drowsy or drinking alcohol • Keep pot holders, oven mitts, paper and plastic off the stovetop • Wear clothing with sleeves that are close fitting or short • Do not turn up the heat in the oven to speed up turkey-cooking time • Never hold children while cooking Other Safety Tips: • Turkey fryers should always be used outdoors at least 15 feet from buildings • Never use turkey fryers on wooden decks or in garage • Partially frozen turkeys placed into a fryer can cause a spillover effect which may result in an extensive fire • Make sure a working fire extinguisher is within easy reach • Keep a lid nearby when cooking to smother small grease fires by sliding the lid oven the pan and running off the stovetop • For an oven fire, turn off the heat and keep the oven door closed • When in doubt, get out, stay out and call 911 for a neighbor’s house For information about cooking safety tips contact Asst. Chief Jack Spurgeon at 423-989-5701 or jspurgeon@bristoltn.org .
VHCC Christmas Concerts 2014
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The VHCC Student and Community Choir and Women’s Chorus (Madrigals) will present their December Concert on Tuesday evening December 2nd in the LRC Theatre on campus. The concert will begin at 7:30. It is free to all area students and VHCC students, faculty and staff. A donation of 4.00 at the door by the general public will be greatly appreciated. The concert will feature sacred and secular tunes and will present a wide array of styles and arrangements. The concert will feature guest accompanist Chris Yoder on piano and Schery Collins on flute and will be directed by Mary Munsey.
If you would like to hear the Madrigals choir on December 4th, they’ll be performing free in Marion VA at 7:00 PM at Past-Time Antiques store on Main Street as part of Marion’s Downtown Christmas celebration. The Madrigals will also be performing Saturday December 6th from 1-1:45 at the Abingdon Arts Depot. This event is also free and open to the public. You will be able to tour the depot, view the art and enjoy refreshments at this wonderful event. For more information on these events or joining these performing groups in the future, please contact Mary Munsey at mmunsey@vhcc.edu
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Historic Downtown Bristol Recognizes Small Businesses by Celebrating
Small Business Saturday® Believe in Bristol has announced participation in the fifth annual Small Business Saturday on November 29th to support independent businesses in Historic Downtown Bristol TN/VA. Founded by American Express in 2010, Small Business Saturday® is a day to celebrate the small businesses that help support your neighborhood and is held every year on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Now in its fifth year, Small Business Saturday has been embraced as part of the holiday shopping tradition as each year shoppers, businesses and public officials come together to Shop Small® and show their neighborhood pride. Understanding the important contributions small businesses make to their communities, Believe in Bristol is pleased to announce our participation in Small Business Saturday and the Neighborhood Champion program. On November 29th from 11:00 am to 5:00 pm, Believe in Bristol would like to encourage you to take part in Small Business Saturday. Be sure to stop by to support local businesses and receive Shop Small® giveaways like tote bags, buttons and balloons while supplies last. Did you know that more money spent at a locally owned business stays in our community to support schools, emergency services, roads, and jobs? When you buy from a locally owned business more of your money is used to purchase from other local businesses – a multiplier effect of at least 3. Local businesses utilize other business services such as print shops, local attorneys, local CPAs, etc. National companies use these services out of our area. So this holiday season remember to support a local business with your purchases. Believe in Bristol is also excited to announce a partnership with Bank of Tennessee in encouraging everyone to support locally owned businesses as they are shopping and eating out this holiday season. “We know people will still buy online and at big box retailers. But if we all can commit to buying a few things at a locally owned store that will make a huge impact on our local economy” stated Rebecca White, Marketing Director, Bank of Tennessee. Bank of Tennessee is a locally owned and operated company. They understand the challenges that small businesses face when competing against a large national chain. While nationally owned companies provide valu-
Shop Local! able services to our community, Bank of Tennessee would like to show their support and help other locally owned small businesses. Bank of Tennessee will be providing radio coverage for Historic Downtown Bristol on Saturday, November 29th, from 11:00 am – 2:00 pm, listen on WAEZ. Be sure to visit www.bankoftennessee.com for a SHOP LOCAL section that will educate you on the benefits of supporting local. American Express created the Neighborhood Champions program to help rally communities around Small Business Saturday and is working alongside numerous business organizations to support local Small Business Saturday celebrations throughout the country. Participating organizations include the American Chamber of Commerce Executives, the www.acce.org, American Independent Business Alliance (AMIBA), www.amiba.net, International Downtown Association, www.ida-downtown.org, The Latino Coalition, www.thelatinocoalition.com, National Main Street Center, “http://www.mainstreet.org, U.S. Black Chambers, Inc., www.usblackchamber.org, U.S. Chamber of Commerce, www. uschamber.com/about. Small business owners can learn more about taking part in Small Business Saturday and download free marketing materials on www.shopsmall.com. For more information about Believe in Bristol please visit www.believeinbristol.org.
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Time lapse…
Milligan student’s photographs slow down the world Photos are a dime-a-dozen these days on social networks like Facebook and Instagram, where users can broadcast their day with the push of a button. However, a Milligan College student wants everyone to slow down for his art exhibit “Camera Obscura: An Exploration in Alternative Processing in Photography.” “There are roughly 400,000 images uploaded to Facebook in the amount of time that it takes to make one image on this oldfashioned camera,” said senior Will Major, whose work highlights some of the earliest forms of photography. “Today, we often replace experience with documentation. But photography is supposed to do the opposite: document experience.” Major will give his art talk at the Milligan Art Gallery in Derthick Hall on Sunday, Nov. 23, from 2-4 p.m. The reception and show are free and open to the public. While the camera obscura dates back to ancient Greece, the portable version of
the camera didn’t become popular until the 17th century. The cyanotype prints featured in the show were made from 8-by-10 negatives created entirely with the pinhole camera. “The pinhole of the camera obscura lets in so little light that it takes up to two minutes to correctly expose the negative in bright daylight,” said Major, whose creative project was required in Milligan’s humanities program. His senior art exhibition will open next year in April. Ultimately, Major wants his viewers to slow down and see with full attention. “If we lose this ability to slow down and accurately reveal the truth of the world through the camera lens, then we will be left with empty, meaningless images that say nothing about our world,” said Major. Major’s exhibit will run from Nov. 23 through Dec. 10. To learn more about Milligan’s arts events, visit www.milligan.edu/arts.
Black Friday-forget it! Instead work off that turkey dinner dancing at the Jonesborough Visitors Center. Limited Edition will provide the music (and humor) to entertain you with music for everyone. From waltz to line to shag-they have all the tunes you love to dance to. November 28 is the date---bring friends and make new ones! Dance begins at 7:00 with line dance lessons at 6:30 taught by your favorite teachers, the McConnells. Cost $6.00. For additional information call 423-952-0772.
Milligan senior Will Major is pictured with his camera obscura.
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Dry Hill Draggers at the Carter Family Fold Saturday, November 29th, 2014, at 7:30 p.m., the Carter Family Fold in Hiltons, Virginia, will present a concert of old time music by the Dry Hill Draggers. Admission to the concert is $10 for adults, $1 for children 6 to 11, under age 6 free. The Dry Hill Draggers started out in
1981. From Franklin County, Virginia, the group included Jimmy Boyd on banjo and his brother, Billy. Although several of the founding members are now gone, the group has continued in the mountain tradition of a multi-generational, traditional, old time string band. While jamming in the
1970s in the Dryhill and Ferrum area, some of the musicians were falling behind. Edgar Crowe said since they were dragging behind on their timing, he was going to call the group the Dry Hill Draggers. That name has stuck now for the past 30 years. The Ferrum, Virginia, area is home to most of those performing in the group today. They played at the 1982 World’s Fair, and they’re favorites at the Floyd Country Store and the Blue Ridge Music Center. Their knock-down driving beat is anything but “dragging.” In 2011, they placed second in the old time band category at Galax. Fold audiences who remember Larry Sigmon and Barbara Poole will love this old time band. The group cut their first album in 1982. Over the next several years, the Draggers recorded and released eight albums and CDs. In 2011, they released an anniversary CD celebrating 30 years. They’re now working on their 10th release. Stacy Boyd plays the doghouse bass. Jamie Boyd plays claw-hammer banjo. Billy Woods and Chris Prillaman play both fiddle and guitar. Jason Hambrick plays guitar, and founder Jimmy Boyd still performs with
them just as he has for the past 30 years. If old time is what you like, the Dry Hill Draggers will deliver. Flat-footers and two-steppers are welcome to come out and shake a leg with the Draggers. The group is known for their knock-down, hard-driving beat, and there will be lots of fiddle tunes and rare old time tunes that aren’t often heard commercially today. Bring along your dancing shoes, and get ready for some old time, mountain family fun! Carter Family Memorial Music Center, Incorporated, is a nonprofit, rural arts organization established to preserve traditional, acoustic, mountain music. For further information on the center, go to www.carterfamilyfold.org. Shows from the Carter Family Fold can be accessed on the internet at www.carterfoldshow.com. Carter Music Center is part of the Crooked Road: Virginia’s Heritage Music Trail. You can visit the Crooked Road Music Trail site at thecrookedroad.org. Partial funding for programs at the center is provided by the Virginia Commission for the Arts and the National Endowment for the Arts. For recorded information on shows coming up at the Fold, call 276-386-6054.
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The Joe Lasher Jr. Band at The Bonnie Kate
The Joe Lasher Jr. Band will be playing at The Bonnie Kate in Elizabethton, on Saturday, November 29, 2014 at 8 pm. Tickets $7 From the Western North Carolina Mountains, Singer/Songwriter Joe Lasher Jr. has quickly become one of the most recognized Southern Country Rock performers in the southeast. This young, but seasoned, entertainer, has played with known names such as Montgomery Gentry and Matt Stillwell, and has written songs with veteran singer/songwriter, Amanda Williams. In February of 2014, Joe released
his debut album, “Devil In A Jar”. The release includes 11 tracks, including his first radio single, “Cowboy Love Song”. Download the album, or individual tracks, on iTunes, Amazon, JoeLasherJr.com, or many other online outlets. 2013 was a break out year for Joe Jr. and his band. He has been called “one to watch” and “a force to be reckoned with”. If you love contemporary and classic country music, classic rock and blues, or just good music with a youthful southern flare, you won’t want to miss a show by Joe Lasher Jr.
Coat Drive Benefiting One Warm Coat and Youth Villages
Exhale Fitness Studio is hosting a charity event in Johnson City for donations of coats. Three fitness instructors are teaming up and co-teaching two Master classes on Saturday, December 6th. Who: Pound instructors Christin Magnus and Megan Ellis, PILOXING Instructors Megan Ellis and Amanda Burrow and PILOXING Master Trainer Christin Magnus Where: Exhale Fitness Studio 118 W Springbrook Dr. Johnson City, TN 37601 Why: to spread the warmth of a good coat to those in need When: Saturday, December 6th,
2014 Pound at 9:30am and PILOXING at 10:30am Cost: FREE with a donation of a gently used coat All you have to do is bring a gently used or new coat to Exhale with you to the Master class of your choice that morning. Our goal is 100 coats or more! Signing up will be REQUIRED on our website www.exhalefitstudio.com and will be available the week prior to class. Contact: breathe@exhalefitstudio.com or 423.979.0060 or www. exhalefitstudio.com for more information.
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National Christmas Tour Stops in Abingdon, VA The Peter Mayer Group is coming to the region bringing the 14th annual national Christmas Show, Stars & Promises: Evergreen. Playing a blend of traditional favorites and original Christmas compositions, this unique musical journey of story and song is not to be missed. Mayer’s dynamic ensemble uses a wide variety of folk, world music, rock, and jazz styling to accompany his virtuosic voice and guitar work, creating a musical journey of stories and songs. “The concert features music for the Christmas journey. A song to travel roads old and new to the peace and joy of Christmas, and share a song of hope to lead us on,” says a release announcing the tour. The concert will be Monday, December 8, 2014 at 7:30pm at Barter Theatre in Abingdon, VA. This is a fundraiser for Barter Theatre, with all proceeds benefitting Barter programs. Peter Mayer is a familiar face and name to many. Currently, Mayer has released 13 CDs, and tours with the Peter Mayer Group. He is also Jimmy Buffett’s lead guitarist, a vocalist, a songwriter, and has been with Jimmy Buffett for more than 24 years. He has also shared the stage with performers James Taylor, Mac McAnally, Sonny Landreth, Don Henley, Joe Walsh, Ringo Star, to name a few. Mayer’s talented group features R. Scott Bryan on percussion and vocals, Chris Walters on piano,
Mark Holland on native flutes, Brendan Mayer on guitar and vocals, Zeb Briskovich on bass and Alicia Enstrom on violin. Mayer’s life began in Tamilnadu, the far southern region of India, where his parents served as missionaries for 17 years before returning to their Missouri roots. Musical influences from that period of his life can be heard in his playing. Mayer recalls, “I can remember Indian musicians coming on Christmas Eve and giving Christmas concerts in my parents’ house. They would play their drums and flutes, shakers and bells, and sing their Tamil Carols. They would go on for hours and hours. It was a sound I’ll never forget.” As an added bonus, concertgoers have an opportunity to purchase a recording of each night’s performance immediately following the show. Tickets are $20, and can be purchased online at www.petermayer.com and www.bartertheatre. com or by calling the ticket office at 276-628-3991. Proceeds benefit Barter Theatre. This concert is sponsored by: Laurel Marina & Yacht Club, Salsarita’s of Kingsport, Carter-Trent/Scott County Funeral Homes, Giuseppe’s Italian Restaurant, Nutrilac Consulting, Citizens Bank, M&M Insurance Company, Allen and Veronica Hurley and Capos Music Store.
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32nd Annual Country Christmas Craft Show set for Viking Hall Thanksgiving Weekend The 32nd Annual Country Christmas Craft show is set for this Thanksgiving weekend in Viking Hall Civic Center. This event has been the kick-off of the Christmas shopping season for over three decades. The hours of the event for this year are Friday, November 28 and Saturday, November 29 from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. and on Sunday, November 30, 2014 from Noon to 5 p.m. “There are so many unique items. You can find something for everyone on your Christmas list. This year we will have wooden reindeer made from sassafras
logs, scroll saw art, hand-crafted jewelry, locally made pottery, handmade wooden toys, stained glass, along with candles, lots of primitive works and a chocolatier, along with other assorted holiday foods,” said Daisy Carrol, Country Christmas Craft Show manager. “Young artists like Kipp Brixey, who hand throws clay on a potter’s wheel, will be at the show again this year, giving demonstrations on how his unique bowls and other items are created by hand.” Brixey also creates functional vessel sinks that are hand made in an old world style and will be on display. Michelle O’Shields, another young artist who uses older skills as a scroll saw artist will also be among the exhibitors/vendors at this year’s show. “Michelle creates intricate works of wooden art using a scroll saw. Not only is Mi-
chelle one of the youngest crafters to bring woodwork art pieces to the public, but it is unusual to find a female in what is usually considered a male field,” continued Carrol. “O’Shields’ pieces show the kind of dedication to her craft that all our artists, regardless of age, strive to achieve.” “The Country Christmas Craft Show is a great event to bring the whole family to. It has all the sights and smells of the season and is a great way to spend an afternoon,” said Darlene Cole, Deputy Director of Community Relations, the city department who oversees public venue operations. For more information contact the Viking Hall Box Office at 423-764-0188 or call Daisy Carrol at (423) 360-5809. More detailed information about the event can be found on their website, www. countrychristmasshow.com.
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Fabled Railroad Story Comes To Life Again in the new book about the Clinchfield No. 1
Rarely has an American success story had as many twists and turns as that of the Clinchfield No. 1, a plucky little steam engine that found national fame and adoration in the 1960s and 1970s along Appalachian mountain railroad tracks – and far beyond. In The Clinchfield No. 1: Tennessee’s Legendary Steam Engine, authors Mark A. Stevens and A.J. “Alf” Peoples tell, for the first time anywhere, the everyday stories that made the locomotive a fabled symbol of survival and revival. Published by The History Press, the book features nearly 80 vintage photographs, many never before seen by the general public. Many of the stories, too, will be new to readers and railroad enthusiasts despite decades of massive media coverage from venerable publications such as The New York Times. “The story of the Clinchfield No. 1, including how it was rebuilt in 1968 to lead excursion trains throughout the South, had been well documented over the years,” Stevens said, “but Alf and I wanted to explore
the stories behind the story. In particular, we wanted to tell the stories of the men who shaped the steam engine’s life on the rails.” In fact, the new book came about after Stevens and Peoples produced, in 2013, a limited-edition pictorial history book about the No. 1 titled The One & Only. “There was such an outpouring of interest, Mark and I quickly realized that there was more to do if we were to really tell the No. 1’s whole story,” said Peoples, who retired in 2014 as a locomotive engineer after a 45-year career on the railroad. Stevens was a well-known and awardwinning newspaper publisher from Northeast Tennessee before moving to South Carolina earlier this yea. Peoples just retired from a 45-year railroad career as a locomotive engineer. The steam engine was built in 1882 in Logansport, Ind., as a 10-wheeler, 4-6-4 and led the first relief train to reach the victims of the infamous 1889 Johnstown, Pa., flood. In the late 1800s and until the 1950s, the locomotive spent many decades helping to
build the Clinchfield Railroad and working deep inside the forests of the Appalachian mountains hauling timber and feldspar. But the steam engine story turned from that of a forgotten and forlorn workhorse to a celebrated fable in 1968 when Clinchfield Railroad General Manager Thomas D. Moore found the locomotive, already an antique, in a ruin of rust and rot in the Erwin, Tenn., railroad yard. Moore, a railroadman with a businessman’s vision, ordered the engine to be rebuilt to lead excursions from Kentucky to South Carolina. It was a daring and audacious plan, as steam engines had long bowed out of service in deference to their modern diesel counterparts. Passenger service for many railroads, including the Clinchfield, had been shuttered years before. Now, utilizing invaluable materials available at East Tennessee State University’s Archives of Appalachia and through
Clinchfield ... continued on page 19
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Ancient Star Groups in South Skies The diligent ancient stargazers of thousands of years ago looked at the Autumn sky in the south and grouped the stars into creatures of a water world. These diligent sky watchers in the lands of today’s Iran and Iraq took the faint stars in this part of the night sky and saw a goat with a fishtail, two real fish, a giant sea monster and a man pouring more water over the celestial ocean. Which makes you wonder what kind of world these astronomers of antiquity lived in? The southern autumn skies take up a big chunk of the Zodiac—the 20 degree wide belt of stars that circle the heavens and contain the wandering Sun, Moon and planets. In the Autumn, Capricornus and Aquarius take up the majority of this slice of the night sky and its familiar astrological signs. But tracing out these constellations is difficult, particularly in light polluted, suburban skies. There is only one bright star in the south skies of fall, Fomalhaut in the Southern Fishes, Piscis Austrinus, and it has been nicknamed “The Lonely One.” The 1st magnitude Fomalhaut outshines any of the surrounding stars, none brighter than 3rd magnitude, or 15 times fainter. Star magnitude is a way to measure the apparent brightness as seen from Earth. Magnitude is a logarithmic scale where each whole number is 2.5 times brighter or fainter than the next number. But the brightness we see isn’t the true power of a star as its distance from us dictates a lot about how bright it is in our night sky. Most of the brightest stars we see are the closest, and the faintest are far away—with many exceptions. Ancient stargazers had quite an imagination when it came to connecting the dot-to-dot of night stars in creatures and personalities of their folk tales. Most of the constellations of stars were organized to honor those
characters in a civilization’s belief systems of gods, goddesses, heroes and villains. Looking up at the mystery of the twinkling lights of night, ancient people knew nothing of the true nature of the stars, Moon and five wandering planets. Until just 400 years ago, it was accepted that the Earth was stationary in the center of the Universe, the Sun, Moon and stars all rotating around us. So when talking about the often vague history of the most ancient of star patterns recorded by the first astronomers, one must remember these ancient stargazers were honoring the influence of the stars on their lives. This belief system is hard to keep in perspective for a 21st Century stargazer, who is robbed by light pollution from seeing the beautiful dark skies that peoples just two hundred years ago enjoyed. Just who were those first as-
tronomers who named the constellations? Nobody knows. The legends have been handed down over thousands of years. The Chinese, Australians, Scandinavians, North Americans, Mexicans and more cultures all had their own mythological creatures and heroes in their night sky mythology. But the names that are on the earliest star charts were adapted from mythology of the Greeks and Romans, with many stars having Arabic names given by the star watchers of Persia and Babylon. During history there were an original 48 constellations put on charts by the Greek astronomer Ptolemy around 150 AD. The stars of the Southern Hemisphere were clumped into constellations by ocean navigators and celestial mapmakers in the 17th and 18th centuries. The total number of constellations is 88, as approved by the International Astronomical
Union in 1930. And now back to those watery constellations surrounding our south star beacon, Fomalhaut, the Lonely One. The Southern Fish is a loose oval outline of a fat fish with Fomalhaut at the mouth, hence the Arabic translation of “Fish’s Mouth.” The faint seven or eight stars of the oval are all around 4th magnitude, and all fairly close from 170 to 500 Light Years away. But Fomalhaut is a very close 22 Light Years away and bright. The Hubble Telescope has photographed an infant solar system circling this star! This fish might honor a Babylonian fish god called Oannes, and is possibly the parent of the Zodiacal fishes, Pisces two constellations away. The Southern Fish is also thought to be drinking from the water jar being poured by Aquarius. The Babylonians saw a large
area of faint stars as the figure of a man pouring a large water jar. Given the name Aquarius, exactly who he was and why he deserves an eternity in the earthly night skies is unknown. The brightest stars of Aquarius the Water Carrier form a loose “Y” shape that is the water container. Most of the dozen brightest stars are 4th magnitude, and the two brightest have Arabic names. Third magnitude Sadalmelik (“lucky one of the king”) is a yellow supergiant 950 Light Years away. The other bright star is 2.9 magnitude Sadalsuud (“luckiest of the lucky”), another yellow supergiant 980 Light years away. The pair may be old stars from a once vibrant star cluster like The Pleiades. The stars we place in a constel-
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Celestial events in the skies for the week of Nov. 25 - Dec. 1, 2014, as compiled for The Loafer by Mark D. Marquette. The last week of November, filled with family and friends celebrating Thanksgiving and Hanukkah. Everybody has been switching out their summer clothes for the warmer sweaters and coats—so why not give them a good work out under the chilly stars? If you have any kind of telescope, a sure hit at any family part is to point it at the Moon this week and let everyone get a peek at some craters and mountains. You’d be surprised how many people have never looked at the Moon through any telescope. Use low power (the highest number eyepiece like 25 mm) and save the higher power eyepieces for those really interested.
ry, France joined the Soviet Union and the United States as space faring nations, launching an orbiting, 92 pound satellite called Asterix from a launch site in Hammaguir, Algeria. Originally called A-1 for the French Army, once in orbit it was renamed Asterix, a character in a popular French comic strip.
Thurs. Nov. 27
On this 1983 date in space history, Space Shuttle Columbia was launched with Europe Space Agency’s Spacelab module in the 40-foot-long cargo bay, beginning a lasting partnership with ESA that continues on the International Space Station.
Fri. Nov. 28
At 6:30 pm the constellation Taurus the Bull is above the eastern Tues. Nov. 25 horizon, with Auriga the ChariAn interesting week for astrolo- oteer also rising to the bull’s left. gers to explain as the Sun entered They are marked by bright star Scorpius on Sunday, Nov. 23 and Aldebaran, the reddish eye of the remains in the scorpion until only bull, and Auriga’s bright star, yelthis Sunday, Nov. 30. The Sun then lowish Capella. Ninety minutes enters the non-Zodiacal constel- later the great hunter Orion has lation Ophiuchus the Snake Han- cleared the eastern horizon. dler, where it remains until mov- Sat. Nov. 29 ing into Sagittarius on Dec. 18. First Quarter Moon is tonight, Wed. Nov. 26 and you can get a close-up view On this 1965 date in space histo- through some good telescopes
at Bays Mountain’s public “StarWatch” stargazing program tonight beginning at 6 pm. The Moon in Aquarius is between Neptune in Aquarius (5 degrees away to the right) and Uranus in Pisces (about 10 degrees to the left).
Sun. Nov. 30
On this 2000 date in space history, Endeavour was launched on the STS-97 mission. A veteran crew of 5 (3 men making their third spaceflight and two men on their second) flew to the growing International Space Station 230 miles high and installed the first set of solar panels during three spacewalks. Aboard the ISS was the first three-member crew, called Expedition 1, putting 8 humans in space at the same time.
Mon. Dec. 1
Looking north, Cassiopeia the Queen’s brightest five stars make an “M” shape in the sky, and opposite it somewhere dredging up the horizon are the familiar seven stars of the Big Dipper. Between them, of course, is the Little Dipper, its end star of the handle being the North Star, Polaris.
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Arts Array presents
“Begin Again” The Arts Array Film Series presented by Virginia Highlands Community College is in its 44th year. All films are presented at the Abingdon Cinemall on Mondays and Tuesdays at 4 p.m. and again at 7:30 pm. Begin Again (December 1 and 2) The latest film from writer-director John Carney (Once), Begin Again is a stirring comedy about what happens when lost souls meet and make beautiful music together. Gretta (Keira Knightley)
and her long-time boyfriend Dave (Adam Levine) are college sweethearts and songwriting partners who travel to New York when he lands a deal with a major label. But the trappings of his new-found fame soon tempt Dave to stray, and a reeling, lovelorn Gretta is left on her own. The Arts Array Film Series is part of the comprehensive cultural outreach program of Virginia Highlands Community College. The series is co-sponsored by the
Abingdon Cinemall, the Southwest Virginia Higher Education Center, Emory& Henry College, and King University. Admission to the films is free for the faculties and students at the supporting institutions. Members of the general community may attend for $7.75. For a brochure on the series or more information, please contact Tommy Bryant at 276-739-2451 or email him at tbryant@vhcc.edu.
Teen Coffee Night
Gray Library - Tuesday, November 25 @ 6:30 p.m. All teens, grades 6 and up, are invited to join us for a Teen Coffee Night on Tuesday, November 25, 6:30 p.m. at the Gray Library. Teens will be able to choose
from an assortment of flavored creamers for their coffee and a selection of desserts. We will talk about books, as well as other topics of interest. This program is free
and open to all local teens. Space is limited and registration is required. To register, please call the Jonesborough Library at 753-1800.
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Broadmore to Host Annual
Broadmore Senior Living in Bristol Tennessee will be hosting their fifth annual “Spirit of the Season Bazaar” Friday December 5 and Saturday December 6. It will be held in the Broadmore community from 9am – 5pm on Friday and 9am – 2pm on Saturday. This popular event will bring your favorite craft, civic and athome vendors into one location for a wonderful great gift-buying opportunity for the Christmas holiday. A large number of vendors attend each year, including, Avon, BeautiControl, Paparazzi Jewelry, Origami Owl Jewelry, Scentsy Candles, Watkins, Tupperware
and many more. The annual bazaar is one of the most popular and well attended events held at Broadmore. According to event organizer Tim Buchanan “we have a regular crowd of faithful supporters that attend this event each year. This launches the Christmas spirit at Broadmore”. There will be handmade seasonal and craft decorations that will be unique to this bazaar; wreaths, herbs, candles, soaps, pottery, to name a few. There will be door prizes, fresh baked goods, refreshments and a $5 lunch will be available. A portion of the proceeds will benefit
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the Alzheimer’s Association-NE/ SE Tennessee Chapter. Have a great time with your families, pick-up gifts for the holiday’s and support a great cause. Broadmore Senior Living is located adjacent to Bristol Regional Medical Center at 826 Meadowview Road, Bristol Tennessee. Vendors may register for this event while space is available until Friday, November 28. For further details on the “Spirit of the Season Bazaar” or any Broadmore event please contact Tim Buchanan at 423-764-4622, by mobile 423-9438192 or by e-mail info@broadmore-bristol.com.
a series of interviews, Stevens and Peoples have pieced together the captivating story of the real-world little engine that could. The book captures the spirit of railroaders who worked to turn an antique steam engine into the nation’s oldest working locomotive. Those interviewed include 94-year-old George Hatcher, who served as fireman aboard the No. 1 for 11 years, and current U.S. senator and former Tennessee Gov. Lamar Alexander, who rode behind the No. 1 in 1972 and 1978 as part of a whistle-stop campaign launched by U.S. Sen. Howard Baker Jr. The Clinchfield No. 1 spent 11 years garnering glowing reviews from an adoring media as the steam engine and its excursion train returned passengers to a bygone era on America’s railroad tracks. The New York Times wrote, in 1969, “The Clinchfield Railroad, which had abandoned its last passenger train in 1955, has found a new way of making money out of passenger traffic: put an 1882 steam locomotive out in front.”
Tens of thousands of passengers rode behind the No. 1 during the excursion years and before the locomotive’s retirement to the B&O Railroad Museum in Baltimore, Md. The stories of passengers, through interviews and original correspondence between passengers and Clinchfield Railroad officials, preserved in the archives, are used to detail the No. 1’s history. Stevens, who spent 25 years as a newspaper editor and publisher in Tennessee and Louisiana, said he recognized the No. 1’s immediate appeal for storytelling: “The No. 1 had it all – intrigue, rebirth and revival mixed with sadness, anger and celebration.” The Clinchfield No. 1: Tennessee’s Legendary Steam Engine will be available for purchase at local bookstores and online at Historypress.net and Amazon. com. Autographed copies may be ordered directly from the authors by sending a check or money order for $19.95, plus $5 for postage to: Mark A. Stevens, 390 Lumbee Circle, Pawleys Island, SC 29585.
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Charles Dickens’ Classic Comes to Life with Song and Enchantment in Theatre Bristol’s
“Scrooge! The Musical” Scrooge!, a popular Theatre Bristol holiday production will run three weekends at the ARTspace.
Theatre Bristol presents a major musical production just in time to celebrate the holidays. “Scrooge! The Musical” opens the day after Thanksgiving,November 28, and runs for three weekends, closing with a matinee on December 14. Reservations for this ARTspace production (506 State Street), can be made by calling 423-383-5979. Scrooge! is the timeless tale of Ebenezer Scrooge, a lonely miser who is visited on Christmas Eve by three spirits who teach him lessons of love and giving. Don’t miss Ebenezer, Bob Cratchit, Tiny Tim, the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future and a whole host of Dickensian characters in this award-winning, international
smash hit musical by Leslie Bricusse, which includes such acclaimed songs as “Thank You Very Much,” “A Better Life” and “A Christmas Carol.” Directing the show will be highly respected and talented actor/ director, Theatre Bristol veteran Glenn Patterson (Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, Miracle on 34th Street). “It is a pleasure to work with this timeless classic. Scrooge! the Musical reminds us that it is never too late to embrace the joy of living,” said Patterson. Steve Baskett in the title role of Ebenezer “Scrooge,” is joined by a cast of 43. Scrooge experiences other-worldly nightly visits by Ja-
cob Marley played by Bill Locke, The Ghost of Christmas Past by Camille Gray, The Ghost of Christmas Present by Michael Bishop, and The Ghost of Christmas Future by Daniel Freeman. Scrooge is taken back to his youth where he is played as a child by Hope Oliver and his sister Jenny is played by Emma Bishop. Christmas Past then escorts Scrooge to the holiday celebration of Mr. and Mrs. Fezziwig portrayed by Theatre Bristol veterans Jim Yencha and Dottie Havlik. There, young Ebenezer, Ben Fitton, meets Isabel, Emily Glover. Christmas Present soon appears and he and Scrooge attend the holiday party of Scrooge’s nephew Harry, also played by Ben Fitton, and Harry’s wife Helen, Lacey Williams. The nightly tour ends with Christmas Future guiding him to the family home of Bob Cratchit played by James Altman, with Mrs. Cratchit by Lee Anne Hitch, Peter Cratchit by Alayna Walker, Kathy Cratchit by Lauren Turner, Martha Cratchit by Eden Phillips, Belinda Cratchit by Emmersyn Hardy, and Tiny Tim by Olivia Stevens. The townspeople include Mark Hutton as Tom Jenkins, Jim Yencha as the Wine Merchant, Daniel Freeman as Pringle, Ashton Bishop as Mrs. Pringle and Mary, John Mullins as Jollygood/Topper, Seth Gilstrap as Harty/Dick Wilkins, Jaimie Carnell as Miller/Mr. Bleak, April Helton as Bess, Dan Gray as Bissett, Amanda Keith as Mrs. Dilber, Laci Fleenor as Miss Dilber, Alayna Walker as the Beggar woman, and Sabrina Briggs as the lady with a baby. Urchins returning to the Theatre Bristol stage are Carly Street, Emma Bishop, Carolyn Hitch, Mary Hitch, and Logan Plymal. Urchins making their debut on the
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Scrooge! ... continued from previous page Theatre Bristol stage are Ava White, Charli Carpenter, Sutton Hughes, Hope Oliver, Parker Cannon, Parker Collins, Hope Godsey, Thatcher Hutton, Owen Griffith, and Haley Russell. Jessica Flagg, choreographer for Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, returns for Scrooge along with Technical Director and Designer David Hyde. Costume Designer is Andrea Wakely. The Stage Manager is Kaylie Crain, Properties Manager is Matthew Torbett, and the Dance Captain is Camille Gray. Nicholas Thompson is Deck Manager and Steve Baskett is Master Carpenter. Scenic Artists are Jenny Carpenter and Edie Cannon. Title Sponsor is Stephanie Snelson, DDS. Show performances are Fridays, November 28, December 5, December 12 at 7:30 pm; Saturdays, November 29, December 6, December 13 at 7:30 pm; and Sundays, November 30, December 7, and December 14 at 2:30 pm. “Perhaps one of the best-known modern adaptations of [A Christmas Carol] is the musical Scrooge! by Leslie Bricusse. The musical, made into a film in 1970… is tradi-
tional, and the stage show has enjoyed noted success in England, where it was hailed as “Sensational” and “Terrific” by BBC Radio 2; and in the Unites States, where it has become an established favorite of regional playhouses nationwide,” Breaking Character. In Bristol, Scrooge! is a holiday tradition, popular with audiences over the years. “Scrooge! The Musical” is presented through special arrangement with and all authorized performance materials are supplied by SAMUEL FRENCH, INC. Founded in 1965, Theatre Bristol is the oldest continually running children’s theatre in northeast Tennessee and now celebrating its 50th season. Its Main Stage season consists of up to five productions. Some of its performances take place in the ARTspace, a multi-purpose, black box theatre which seats up to 120. Theatre Bristol is entirely volunteer run and we invite you to get involved. For more information, visit the Theatre Bristol’s website or Facebook page, contact Theatre Bristol at 423-383-5979, or email info@theatrebristol.org.
Carter Railroad Museum’s November Heritage Day has passenger trains East Tennessee State University’s George L. Carter Railroad Museum will hold its November Heritage Day on Saturday, Nov. 29, from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. In recognition of the beginning of holiday travel season, the featured exhibit will be “Varnish and Chrome: When Beauty Rolled the Rails on Passenger Trains.” The museum is also celebrating its seventh anniversary throughout the month of November. “Varnish and chrome” refers to the spotless condition and service first-class patrons received in the “golden age” of rail travel, from 1870 to 1960. The titans of business, stars of the stage or movies and political leaders used railroads before the advent of safe airline service. The major rail lines invested in lavish equipment, premium service and high-speed operation to pamper their clientele. Model railroad layouts will be operating and displays will feature rare older railroad service china, memorabilia and artifacts. “There was always a certain romance with passenger railroading, of speeding through the night, sightseeing the American continent and meeting new friends,” says Geoff Stunkard, the museum’s Heritage Day coordinator. “Two years ago, we received an amazing collection of rare railroad china from Rev. Howard Walker of Jo-
liet, Ill., and this month marks the first time the collection has been seen publically.” Members of the Mountain Empire Model Railroaders (MEMRR) club and the George L. Carter Chapter of the National Railway Historical Society are coordinating the program. Visit www.memrr.org to learn more about MEMRR, which helps demonstrate and maintain the model layouts, museum exhibits and other projects. The Carter Railroad Museum is open every Saturday from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Admission is free, but donations are welcomed. The museum can be identified by a flashing railroad crossing signal at the back entrance to the Campus Center Building. Visitors should enter ETSU’s campus from State of Franklin Road onto Jack Vest Drive and continue east to 176 Ross Drive, adjacent to the flashing RR crossing sign. The museum is in the process of creating a scale replica of the Tweetsie line in a 1,300-square-foot display hall. Visitors may view this work-in-progress exhibit. To learn more about the museum, visit http://johnsonsdepot.com/glcarter/cartermuseum. For more information about Heritage Day, contact Dr. Fred Alsop, museum director, at 423-439-6838 or alsopf@ etsu.edu. For disability accommodations, call the ETSU Office of Disability Services at 423-439-8346.
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“Ouija” I must confess I had very low expectations of the current film “Ouija”. I felt it would be a bunch of crazy teenagers with bad acting skills running around screaming after they played with a Quija board. While my thoughts are not completely unfounded, the acting was better than I expected. The film features actors I personally didn’t recognize from anywhere, so that helped me set aside any preconceived notions of a well knows actors talents, or the lack
thereof. The story begins with two girls playing on a Quija board, and then flashes forward to present day “every town” where some generic teens are having their usual drama. The drama is heightened by the solo use of the board by one of the obviously “blonde from a bottle” friends, Debbie (Shelley Henning). Unfortunately, Debbie will not need to dye her hair in the future, as the board gets the best of her. Her best friend Lanie (Olivia Cooke), teams up with the duos other friends in an effort to see why Debbie (spoiler alert!) met with a tragic end. As expected Lanie and the others must use the seemingly indestructible Quija board in an effort to contact their departed friend. All of the friends efforts prove futile, as they actually contact two of the former residents of Debbie’s house, and they are NOT happy. The spirits in question are soon wreaking havoc on the group of friends, until they devise a way to thwart the threat. As in most horror films, the characters do really crazy things, i.e., climbing into dark holes, and failing to turn on lights. Let’s be honest, if you knew something bad was in a basement
would you go there? In this film I would have recommended taking a priest down there for good measure. Despite all the characters flaws, the film did provide plenty of creepy and cringe worthy moments to the delight of fans of this
genre. With a brisk running time of under 90 minutes, Quija wastes no time with too much character development, less our attention be averted from the real star of the film, the Quija board. I found “Quija” to be midly en-
tertaining, with a subject matter that could be easily adapted to a television series for The CW network. However, don’t ever ask me to play the game after seeing this film. (Rated PG-13) B-
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Stargazer ... continued from page 16 few thousand years! Yet one of the oldest constellations recorded is an amphibious creature called Capricornus the Sea Goat. A legend associated with Capricornus is that this is really the halfgoat/half-human head Pan, who dipped his feet in the ocean showing off to the ladies, and a jealous Zeus had his feat turned to a fin. One fact associated with this constellation is that 2,500 years ago it was within its boundaries that the Sun reached its farthest southern point in the sky around Dec. 22, marking the winter solstice. The Sun is directly overhead at noon at latitude 23.5 degrees south, and this line has become known as the Tropic of Capricorn. The 10 brightest stars of Capricornus are no brighter than 3rd magnitude, lead by Deneb Algedi, which means goat’s tail. Other
lation usually have no relationship to each other—it is a perspective looking from Earth that makes the alignment of stars look like a man or a beast or a Big Dipper. However, more than half the stars in the sky have another star orbiting it, called binary stars. And there even more complex stellar systems with three, four or more stars orbiting each other, some with planets. Though its stars are faint, the large area that Aquarius covers has some interesting objects sought by serious amateur astronomers and their telescopes. With a backyard telescope one can see the Saturn Nebula, an exploded star that resembles the planet. And there is the Helix Nebula, another “planetary nebula” that is actually the gases of an exploded star that are rushing into interstellar space at speeds of tens of thousands of miles an hour. Also in the boundaries of Aquarius are two globular clusters—balls of hundreds of thousands of stars orbiting our Galaxy—M-2 and M-72 in the famous Messier Deep Sky Objects list. The final creature swimming in the celestial seas of Autumn skies is one of the weirdest of all. Who has ever seen a goat with a giant fish tail? Nobody in the last
Capricorn stars of note are third magnitude Dabih and its 6th magnitude companion at 250 Light Years away; Nashira at 3.7 magnitude, 100 Light Years away; and Giedi, an obvious powerhouse of a star at 4.2 magnitude and a whopping 1,600 Light Years away. Lurking above the south horizon of Autumn is the seas monster Cetus, also thought of as a whale. Cetus is the monsters that ravaged Princes Andromeda, on the other side of Pegasus the Horse, soaring overhead. Take time and look up at the lonely star Fomalhaut and envision the other stars that are there of Capricornus, Aquarius and Pisces. That’s making a connection with ancient people thousands of years ago who looked up at this part of the sky with their own beliefs and wonder—just like you.
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Rabid Retail By the time Thanksgiving had ended last year I found myself faced with two situations. One, that I had spent the night at my Aunt’s house without planing to do so. Two, that the family collectively asked me if I would do their Black Friday shopping for them. Granted, they didn’t so much “ask” as much as “shove a list into my hands and write checks.” I had spend most of last Thanksgiving, and the night before it, at my Aunt’s house in Morristown. I returned home to do the shopping and to, hopefully, catch a moderate amount of sleep. I was given the list at 6:45 in the evening. I left shortly after seven, and considering traffic, I made it home around 8:30. I’m not one who can just fall into bed and sleep, I have to wind down a bit, there’s the also the fact I have a touch of the family insomnia that kicks up from time to time. In this situation I also had to unpack and put away all the gear I took to my Aunt’s. I finally had everything done and put away by 9:15. In my pajamas, I flopped down on the couch in my living room. I had a wake up call of 3:30 in order to get to shop by five, yet I was still too amped up to simply go to bed, or even take one of the all natural sleep-aid tablets I keep in my nightstand. I put a Fred Astaire record on and just enjoyed the music. When the record ended I decided to get into bed to see if I might trick myself into sleeping, it was around ten. Trying to force myself into sleep just made me angry and frustrated. I tossed and I turned, nothing was happening. It was 10:30. I got up and started to walk around my house, trying to distract my brain. I heard my phone go off, I walked back into my bedroom to check it. It was, we’ll call her “S.” “S” and I had been experiencing this on again/off again thing for a few months. Both “S” and I hadn’t yet figured out what this thing was, nor had we defined it, we both were afraid to, if the truth is to be known. But on Thanksgiving night at 10:30 “S” just wanted to know how my Thanks-
giving had been. We “chatted” over text message for a while, talking about our day, and my soon to be here Black Friday adventure. “S” was impressed that I was willing to go through with it, considering my struggles with social anxiety, and anxiety in general. “I’ll check in on you tomorrow, go get some sleep” was the last message “S” sent around what was now 11. I returned to bed, and this time I slept. Thanks to the iPhone’s feature to make your wake up alarm any song on the phone, in what few hours passed, I found myself being wakened by the sounds of Marc Bolan singing “20th Century Boy.” I looked over at my phone, and by the time I actually stopped the alarm, it was 3:31. I walked into my bathroom and splashed cold water onto my face, which brought my senses around quite quickly. I took a shower, skipped shaving, and finished getting ready. Coffee in hand in a to go mug, I was out the door and in my car by 4:15. I kept playing T. Rex in the car on the drive to the store. I arrived at the store at 4:30, their sale began at 5:00. The line dominated the shopping center. I parked as far away from the madness I could, and I lined up at the end of the line. I was wearing a thick overcoat, gloves, scarf, and a hat. I was cold, but I had on thick socks with my athletic shoes, and I had my EarPods in. I continued to enjoy the rest of the T.Rex album, then I switched over to 1960s Brazilian Jazz. In what looked like a retail “Hunger Games” moment, I could barely make out the doors to the store opening to the excited sounds of many a person determined to win Christmas. I kept my EarPods in, but lowered the volume. This was almost irrelevant once I made my way inside the store, the sounds of excited throngs made it difficult to hear Nick Lowe singing. I grabbed a buggy, it was one of the last ones available, and as such was one of
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Page 26, The Loafer • November 25, 2014 Retail ... continued from previous page the “dead end” models left in the store. The buggy made a horrid scraping sound as I moved it along, with one wheel locked up solid. The toy department was to be the last of my worries, it was the first stop for most. Along with electronics, and the combination of both being right next to each other made that section of the store the new site of WrestleMania 78. My first stop was the kitchenware department, my mother wanted to buy my aunt a stand mixer. I had to pass through the coffee section to get to the stand mixers. As I did so, an obstacle presented itself. Two people in the middle of the aisle were fighting over the newest model Keurig coffee maker. Both sets of hands were on the box in a classic tug of war situation. I guess whomever was going to get the coffee maker must really, REALLY, love coffee. The situation reached its peak when the one of the left grabbed a bottle of vanilla syrup and used it to hit the head of the one on the right. The left was the victor, I backed out and went around the other aisle, instead of trying to navigate my bad cart
over a body. Things were quiet by the stand mixers, they’re a popular item, but not one you commit bodily harm over. I went from the kitchen area over to the clothing area, mostly calm, I was buying socks because at this stage in his life, my father likes get-
ting socks for Christmas. Sporting goods followed, and I had almost everything on the list knocked off. All that was left was the electronics and toy department. It was still a war zone, perhaps with not as many battles as there had been. It was around 7:40 now, and “S” had
just woke and sent me a message. “Are you alive?” it said, I responded to “S,” “I am, but I’m about to head into the war zone of toys and electronics. Pray for me.” “S,” being adorable and causing me to fall for her more, responded “This is a bug hunt, man! A bug hunt!” Saying a silent prayer, I moved closer and closer to the war zone. I had wondered if it was worth it in the end, if any of it was worth it. I’m sure I might see it in the delight in the eyes of children at Christmas, but I had a hard time seeing it now. As I got right into the war zone things were mostly under control. The EMTs had been in the store and were taken the injured out as quickly as they could. The shelves had been ravaged, but you could still see where things were thanks to the dead eyes of stock men who clearly had danced this dance before. I took 45 minutes to make my way through the electronics and toys department. I managed to grab most everything on the list, and off I went to stand in line forever at the check out. Passing the pantry section, I did spy a display of chocolate oranges, I grabbed a few and tossed
them in, I deserved it. I played more music as I waited in line at the check out, it took an hour just to get close to being the next in line. By the time I was finished, buggy put away, and everything in my car, it was 9:30, and I was dead tired. I just wanted to go home and sleep, but “S” sent a message that said “Are you done? IHOP?” We met and ate, and it was a good time, but nothing really ever came of it. It was an off again, on again, that I’m still trying to figure out. To use a frozen analogy I should just “let it go,” but I still think about her. The kids? Christmas was a roaring success and all were happy. Their eyes glowed bright on that Christmas morning, and I felt good about my accomplishments. Black Friday is an odd beast of a thing that is, sadly, part of the season. I don’t know how I feel about it, but I do know I’d rather not be out in the middle of it. If you plan on getting out in the middle of it, remember that it’s only silly plastic things, and that it’s not worth it to beat up another person over a Keurig. Happy Hunting.
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