Binder for march 19

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Will Farrell plays ball for cancer awareness Page 5

Wrestling

DeWitt, Steger are all-Americans Page 8 March 19, 2015 — Vol. 93, Issue 13

St. Pat’s Auction raises thousands 101 total items are auctioned off; money is earmarked for service trips for the upcoming year

by ANDREA BERNS

| staff writer

Loras went green for the annual St. Pat’s Auction last Friday, raising the gold for Duhawks attending service trips ranging from Chicago to Flores, Honduras.

This long-standing Loras tradition has occurred in various forms for more than 55 years. Since the early 1980s, the St. Pat’s Auction was used as a fundraiser for the Appalachia service trip, Loras’ sole service trip during that time. But the number of service trips has expanded, increasing the demand for money to offset the cost of the trips.

This year, Loras alum Patrick Sperfslage (’13) returned for his sixth year as auctioneer, while senior Claira Sieverding and junior Nick Utter served as the masters of ceremony. With 90 items auctioned off, 11 silent auction items and delicious foods from pizza to Shamrock Shakes sold, the event raised at between $9,000 to $10,000.

“I was so pleased with the turnout this year, especially from the larger Loras community, such as faculty, staff, family and friends of the college,” said Director of Campus Ministry Colleen Kuhl. “Part of our mission is to keep the tradition alive with a fun community event that offers a chance for interaction and good-spirited St. Patrick’s celebrating. This year went very well in that regard.”

The Loras community had its fair share of community, fun and even inspiration.

“I have not been on a service trip through Loras, but now I would sign up to go on one,” exclaimed first-year Sami Graff.

In addition to the auction and food, Irish music and dancers accompanied the festivities. A raffle for a 46-inch Samsung smart TV took place, and a St. Patrick’s Day-themed crafts table for children and the children-atheart also was available.

“I think people come because they can bring their family and have a good time with our students,” Kuhl continued. “That community-building part is as important as raising funds for our service trips.”

Senior Hannah Way and junior Andrea Enda, co-coordinators of Campus Ministry service trips, began their planning a year in advance to make this event the success that it was, attending meetings and marketing the event.

“It’s a lot of work, but seeing the event run smoothly has made it all worth it,” reflected Way, who has served two years as the service trip co-coordinator. “Knowing that the money we collect goes directly toward service trips is a huge motivating factor.”

“We put a lot of time into the auction,” added Enda, who served her first year as the

photos by katherine edwards

co-coordinator. “But in the end, it would not have been as successful as it was without the time and effort everyone puts in. At times, it can be a little stressful, but there is so much fun and laughs that come with planning the auction.”

It was a consensus that the most rewarding element of the auction was seeing the community come together for the cause.

“Faculty and staff not only donate amazing items, but a lot of them come out to support us the night of,” said Way. “That brings me immense joy. Not to mention seeing students get really excited, whether they are volunteering or there for the bidding, is always very rewarding. Overall, I am constantly reminded of how blessed we are on this campus to have a community that supports service trips and experiential learning.”

Udelhofen tapped as director of athletics Dan Rothert is promoted to associate athletic director Vice President of Student Development Arthur Sunleaf announced that Interim Director of Athletics Denise (Bodensteiner) Udelhofen has been named the next director of athletics at Loras College.

In addition, Dan Rothert, the coach of men’s and women’s soccer, has been promoted to associate athletic director.

In her new role as director of athletics, Udelhofen will oversee the management of: Loras’ 23 athletic programs, staff and professional development, budgets and fundraising and department buildings and grounds.

“Denise has demonstrated her ability to effectively lead the program,” Sunleaf said.

“Her support and dedication to Loras College is admirable and will serve her well. I am excited about the future and the direction she will take Loras athletics.”

Udelhofen has spent more than 24 years

as a member of the Loras College Athletics Department. Most recently, she served as the interim director of athletics over the past 10 months.

Before taking on the role of interim director, Udelhofen served as the associate director of athletics and senior women’s administrator for two years. Previously, she coached the men’s and women’s golf programs to the upper division of the Iowa Conference. She was recognized as the Iowa Denise Conference Coach of the Udelhofen Year in 2005 for men’s golf and in 2006 and 2007 for women’s golf.

Udelhofen additionally serves the College as the director of championships and the director of compliance, and was a member of the NCAA Division III Men’s Golf Championships Committee. She earned both a bachelor’s degree in sport management and

a master’s degree in athletics administration from Loras.

“I am honored to have been selected as the next director of athletics at my alma mater,” she said. “I am looking forward to building on the success of Duhawk athletics and working with our tremendous student-athletes, coaches and staff to keep our program moving forward. I thank both President Jim Collins and Dr. Sunleaf for this opportunity to come full circle as a Duhawk, which began for me as a student-athlete Dan Rothert and now continues as the director of athletics.”

Dan Rothert has been at the helm of the Duhawk men’s and women’s soccer programs since 1998. Under his direction, the Loras College men’s soccer team has won the Iowa Conference championship eight times and advanced to the NCAA tournament eight consecutive seasons. The men

also have enjoyed very successful runs at the national level ­— advancing to the Sweet 16 in 2005, 2009 and 2010 and the Final Four in 2007, 2008, 2012 and 2013.

The women’s team has won the Iowa Conference nine times and the IIAC Tournament 11 times. The women have had 11 NCAA appearances under Rothert, highlighted by runs to the Sweet 16 in 2003, 2010 and 2012.

Notably, Rothert has mentored 12 All-Americans, four Academic All Americans and 12 Iowa Conference MVPs and a National Defensive Player of the Year.

In 2014, Rothert was recognized for his numerous professional accomplishments with a BizTimes Rising Stars Award.

“I am looking forward to working with Denise, our student-athletes, coaches, faculty, staff, alumni and fans to make Loras a premier NCAA Division III athletic department,” said Rothert. “I am excited to be a part of the strategic operations that will allow our department to grow and evolve.”

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News/Opinion

The Lorian Mar. 19, 2015

Think twice before judging Putin too harshly

photo by Claira Sieverding

Some Duhawks are ready for the St. Patrick’s Day rave in the Ballroom on Saturday night. The event was hosted by CAB.

Duhawks celebrate shamrocks with a rave by colin halbmaier | executive editor

Last Saturday, CAB hosted the St. Patrick’s Day rave. Students celebrated the patron saint of Ireland himself in the Ballroom with glow sticks, music and dancing all through the night.

The idea for the rave came from the results of a survey hosted by CAB last spring seeking inspiration for events that students on campus would find engaging.

A rave was one of the top choices of events, including a live DJ to facilitate

the event. Scratch and Bang was the DJ that rose to the challenge and celebrated the event with the evening’s Duhawks.

As seen in the picture above, Duhawks wore their finest green attire for a night of shamrock celebrations. The rave is one of the many events hosted by CAB as the school year enters its final months leading up to the summer break. They hope to keep the momentum going as they lead up to their main event of the semester, a concert by the Eli Young Band on Friday, May 15.

I

n a field where everything is opinionbased, there is one truth in politics. The truth is that it will always be “us against them.”

There will always be a war on drugs, wars on poverty and regular war.

Politicians will always set themselves as representative of their Dallas Knapp constituents, and will always try to fight off “them” — the liberals, the conservatives, those godless atheists, and those godforsaken commies. Can we really blame politicians for setting themselves up like that, though? After all, government is just an extension of the people it governs, so it is really we the people who like the dichotomy.

In fact, we love the dichotomy. Remember the Cold War, that 40-year-long conflict between America, with close allies such as freedom and God, against the totalitarian aggressor called the United Socialist Soviet Republics? It seems that even 30 years after the Cold War, we the people still love the same narrative. In recent months there has been a lot of coverage on Russia and its actions. But that is where the coverage ends; it does not delve into what caused the actions. Instead, it just seems like the media is trying to beat the drums of war and paint Putin as some warmongering, expansionist, neo-commie out to rule the world.

If there is one thing I know, it is that evidence points to Putin acting as a rational state actor. I think what is often overlooked in the coverage by the media, overlooked by the hysterics of “us against them,” is that Putin has his reasons. Whether good or bad, it does not matter, what does matter is taking into account our own actions in order to judge his response.

So let’s begin with Ukraine, what caused

‘Knapp’ Time

the “sudden” invasion? As pointed out by a Reuter’s reporter, Russia is largely landlocked with no real stable access to the sea. When Ukraine broke off from the USSR, it took with them the Crimea peninsula that gave Russia its access to the sea. The invasion and annexation of Crimea was for its ports, not protecting Russian nationals.

Why the invasion into the eastern parts of Ukraine? Because Ukraine wanted to join NATO, an organization heavily influenced by the U.S. Russia sees Ukraine as a buffer state between their homeland and NATO influences. If Ukraine joined NATO, NATO — and by extension the United States — would be on Russia’s doorstep. Imagine if Illinois suddenly aligned itself with Russia, how do you think Iowans would feel? Probably unsafe.

But what if instead of Illinois, it was Indiana that allied themselves with Russia?

Iowans would probably feel safer then had it been Illinois. The same principle applies to the relationship between Russia and Ukraine. Even in the past couple of days, Russia has received an immense amount of coverage about the military exercises it is carrying out. But I am sure that no one has heard of Operation Atlantic Resolve, which sees American servicemen trekking across 1,100 miles of Europe to show solidarity with NATO allies.

Taken into context, Putin’s actions are not all that extreme and war-hungry. Instead, Putin is deciding not to submit to American hegemony. Russia wants to maintain its own national identity and does not want to be stuck underneath the thumb of the U.S. like much of the world is. They want to stake out their own portion of the world. They are not aggressing against the U.S.; they are defying the Western world order. Putin is not a new Hitler that President Obama is appeasing, but a leader trying to carve out a place for his people in a world that is overwhelmingly influenced by the U.S.

The minimum wage simply is a travesty

O

by nino erba | staff writer

ver the past couple of years, you’ve heard calls to raise the minimum wage by just about everyone from President Obama to striking fast-food workers. You also might have wondered why these fast-food workers are striking and why the push for a $15 per hour minimum wage is so strong right now. Of course, you can always just sneer at the fact that these people work in fast food and pay no heed to this issue, but you’d be a fool.

Let me give a perfect example why, but you should swallow any liquids you’re drinking right now before reading on. In a 2013 hearing, Elizabeth Warren cited a report that stated, had wages kept in pace with productivity since 1968, the actual minimum wage would be $21.72. There was another study that showed that if the minimum wage kept pace with the earnings of the 1 percent, the minimum wage would’ve actually hit a peak of more than $33 per hour before the recession hit. The latter study is ghastly because it serves to show how rich the rich actually are in this country, but the former should infuriate you. In the U.S., we hold very dearly to our long-standing principles about hard work.

We Americans love to talk about work and achieving the American dream if you work hard enough.

Unfortunately, this turns out to be one, giant slap-in-the-face of a lie. We are legitimately not getting paid for the amount of work that we do. To put it into perspective, if we rounded up to $22, a worker earning that much and working 50 weeks per year at 40 hours per week would earn $44,000 per year. Currently, at the federal (and Iowa) minimum wage of $7.25, a worker working the same amount of time earns only $14,500.

A year at Loras without financial aid is closer to $40,000. Feeling cheated now?

But since we won’t see a $22 minimum wage anytime soon, let’s focus on $15. At

this point, $15 feels like a good midway point between our skimpy reality and the rich promise of what should be. It is also a worthy number because we have already achieved it. Seattle last year became the first city in the U.S. to vote a $15 minimum wage into reality. San Francisco followed later that year with its own version of $15, and the fight is also moving in other parts of the country like Oregon and Philadelphia. This fight is showing real legs.

Also, since we Americans love to be “#1,” let me put something into perspective. If we raised the minimum throughout the U.S. to $15 right now, we would have the second-highest minimum wage in the world, only behind Australia who has a relative minimum wage of about $17. More reason to jack it up to $22.

You probably have heard a lot of doomsday talk from Republicans and conservatives about how raising the minimum wage will kill jobs. I’m not saying that the minimum wage will be the silver bullet that our dramatically underequipped social safety-net requires, considering that we also need paid sick- and parentalleave, universal health care and other implementations that are commonplace in places like Europe. But the minimum wage is something that just needs to be raised, especially if income inequality continues to run rampant.

Fortunately, you can do something about this. You can write a petition and collect signatures. You can contact Mayor Buol and the city council to do something about it and put pressure on them to raise Dubuque’s minimum wage. If you feel they’re not moving quickly enough, you can get an increase as a ballot measure that we the citizens to vote on. Basically, anything and everything to get the city’s attention.

Strike if you have to! The minimum wage needs to be increased! $15 Now!

Opinion

The Lorian

Mar. 19, 2015

3

Is it terrorism? Not if the perp is white T

errorism: it’s what makes our little patriot hearts soar with heroism, and it is the inspiration behind the beating of our allAmerican chests. Ah yes, terrorism, the plague of the world that spurred the global war with its namesake has surely left its mark on the world. what if it’s all fake?

Kalli Miner But That’s right, what if the concept of terrorism is just as artificially man-made as the racism that fuels it, or just as fraudulent as the “experts” who lecture on it?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, what is this heresy, you ask? That’s a good question. Can we define terrorism? I suppose in its very basic form it is “violence against civilians for political ends.” But that makes a lot of people terrorists, people who were never labeled as terrorists at all. A fine example is pilot John Stack who flew a plane

‘miner’ detail

into a government building to protest taxes. Moreover, that basic definition of terrorism would also deem the U.S. government a state sponsor of terror, i.e. terrorists. You give me a decade, and I can give at least one South American military coup/dictatorship that we sponsored or even created in all those countries south of the border. Sounds like a terrorist organization, by definition, but we don’t see it as such … why is that?

As they say, “one man’s freedom fighter is another man’s terrorist.” And apparently in the United States of America, terrorists are only non-white, non-Christian people.

Scoff if you will, but it’s true. When the Oklahoma City bombing took place, so called terrorist experts had people believing for a whole day that two Muslim taxi drivers were responsible for this “terrorist attack.” But when the truth showed that it was the white, Christian Timothy McVeigh who was responsible, it was suddenly no longer a terrorist attack, and McVeigh himself was just an “unstable extremist.”

Study-abroad stress ... well, sort of W

hen I was thinking about studying abroad, I worried about things. I worried about being homesick, about missing out on important moments back at Loras, and about not doing well in my classes in Ireland or in my internship. These were a few of my concerns, but it has really surprised me how many have turned out not to be an issue. Sure, there are times that I do really miss home, or wish that I was back at school with my friends at Loras. However, I know that they will be there when I get back, and we’ll still have time for adventures together in my next two years! I miss my family, too, but a good long Skype session usually does the trick, and I can’t wait to see them this summer.

What has been the biggest issue for me so far has been the worry Cassandra that I’m not doing enough here, that I’m not having enough fun. I am staying busy with classes and my internship, homework and projects, Busch hikes and exploring, making new friends, shopping and traveling, and a lot more, but sometimes I still feel like I should be on the go 24/7 in order to fully take in as much as possible in the five short months that I have here abroad.

It has stressed me out at times, oddly enough, the idea that I’m not having enough fun. Which is really kind of strange, that fun is the biggest stress in my life at the moment. I think the reason for this is that I have been dreaming of study abroad as long as I can remember, and the anticipation and build-up to this semester has been huge.

As with anything with a lot of build-up, whether it be a move, a wedding or anything like that, I think that it’s easy to put so much pressure on it that it becomes not as much fun anymore, and merely a stress to make it live up to your expectations.

I’m halfway through my time here, but I’m so glad that I’ve realized this. I’m glad that I have realized how much unnecessary stress and pressure I’ve put on myself just to have a good time. I’m also happy that I’ve realized that I can fix it! Excuse me for the overused pop culture reference, but #noregrets. Sure, there will be days that I just need to stay in bed, watch some Netflix, and forget about the world outside my window to relax and take it easy. I can’t be hiking 24/7 obviously! I need to take some breaks, and there will be days that I need to be boring, for my own sanity. I don’t think that necessarily lessens my study-abroad experience, but merely that it makes me a regular person.

I also know that I need to just learn to relax and go with things. Sure, I should keep saying “yes” to new opportunities and meeting new people, but at the same time, I need to let go of some of my expectations. No experience in life is ever truly perfect, and there will be days when I am miserable on a beautiful mountain because it is the middle of a rain/hail storm and I am freezing my butt off, hours from when the bus will be picking us up (aka Glendalough in the Wicklow Mountains), but that’s OK! Letting go and just rolling with how things progress will help me come across new experiences without the added stress off trying to systematically check things off my bucket list. I might even come across a few surprises too, like finding an amazing Noodle Place when the burrito restaurant I wanted to go to was closed.

Other study-abroad students may feel this same pressure, or maybe it’s something more personal to me. However, I think it can apply to more than study abroad! Letting go and giving yourself up to some unexpected surprises can really bring good things our way, if we let ourselves do this. For the rest of the two-and-a-half months that I am here in Ireland and traveling abroad, I’m going to laugh a little more, plan a little less, and embrace whatever life hands me.

Seeing Shamrocks

We hear this all of the time from major news outlets: “we are still unsure if this was a terrorist attack.” A statement that actually translates to, “we’re not sure if the perp is white or Arab.’”

This is the way it’s been since the socalled Global War on Terror reared its ugly head in the ’60s. Just as Israel used it then, we use it in the same way: as a self-serving way to include violence that we want to delegitimize and a way to avoid including our own falsely legitimized violence. We try to paint a picture of a phenomenon that is not subjective, essentially nixing room for debate (when, in reality, we’ve got several baseball fields of space for debate).

Some of the so-called experts on the subject seem to spew more of the same highly propagandized crap without any academic credentials to do so. These “experts” in mainstream news interviews and even in trials to convict terrorism suspects are hardly experts at all. The very premise of the academic expertise is grossly fraudulent.

So, like we used racism, we’ll also use

terrorism to create distinctions where there are none, and to draw unfounded and absurdly ambiguous “conclusions” on human intention. How, or better yet, why we keep manipulating socially constructed illusions to perpetuate this fear-driven hate that seems to be lurking in the staves of human nature is beyond me. But it has thrived like it has so many times in history because the West and the West’s allies have succeeded in creating a self-serving “face of terror” that’s only ever brown and sports a turban. The notion of a terrorist looking back at any of us in the mirror, be damned.

Further resources on the topic can be found here: http://foreignpolicy.com/2012/08/20/ terrorism-is-terrorism/ http://mondoweiss.net/2014/08/ discourse-terrorism-blatant https://www.nytexaminer. com/2013/09/defining-terrorism/ Strampnitzky, L. (2014). Disciplining Terror: How Experts Invented “Terrorism” Cambridge University Press

New lawmaker unveils legislation to combat sky-high spending ‘‘ G by nathaniel kapraun | staff writer

iving credit where credit is due, I would like to acknowledge a misprint in last week’s Lorian. Peter Fricano, another Lorian Staff writer, wrote the article entitled: “Potential presidential candidate speaks at Hotel Julien.”

I did not write that article, as the byline suggested.

Last week, freshman Democratic Congresswoman Gwen Graham, of Florida, introduced legislation to Congress that would bar members of Congress from using taxpayer dollars for first-class airline tickets.

“Nine months ago, I pledged if elected I would work to end wasteful Congressional perks. Today, I’m following through on that promise,” Rep. Graham said in a release that was posted to her website. “It’s a common-sense idea that Republicans and Democrats can both agree on: members of Congress shouldn’t be able to charge taxpayers for firstclass airfare or long-term personal car leases.”

What makes this piece of legislation interesting, especially for a conservative, is that it was recently co-sponsored in the House by our very own Congressman Rod Blum (R-Iowa).

“This is not a partisan issue: Members of Congress don’t need taxpayer-funded perks like first-class travel and long-term car leases to do their job,” Blum said in a press release from his congressional website. “America’s founders never

This is not a partisan issue: Members of Congress don’t need taxpayer-funded perks like first-class travel and long-term car leases to do their job.”

Rod Blum

,,

new Republican congressman from Iowa

intended for public servants to live a life of luxury paid for by everyday Americans. That’s why I’ve made it a high priority to back legislation which reforms Congress and ensures good stewardship of U.S. taxpayer dollars.”

It should be noted that this is one of the many other measures he has taken to reform Congress in just his first nine weeks in office.

The important thing to take away from this new piece of legislation is that there are at least a few members of Congress that can reach across the aisle and come to terms with a new law that cuts wasteful government spending. Now, whether or not this bill passes is another story, but what is encouraging to note is that there are representatives in Washington trying to work together in order to reign in this out of control spending, which ultimately will help to reduce our national debt.

letter to the editor

Fair Trade Committee collecting unwanted clothes for consignment sale Clean out your closet before Spring Break! The Fair Trade Committee will be collecting all unwanted men’s and women’s clothing in March and throughout April for a campus-wide consignment sale in May! Set aside that shirt you never wear and those pants that don’t fit too well so they can be re-used by another lucky Duhawk.

The sale will be open to all and as a payment for the new additions to your closet, we will only ask for a monetary donation to the Fair Trade Committee’s efforts on campus (so we can trade fairly!).

We can’t have a sale if we don’t have clothes! Don’t take ’em home! We’ll re-use ’em here!

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The Lorian

Mind and Soul

March 19, 2015

Tips with TRISH The Lorian is beginning a column by Tricia Borelli, Director of Counseling Services.

Here she will answer student questions concerning anything that relates to keeping it together while doing this crazy thing called college. Send questions or comments to Ms. Borelli, Loras Box 100, or to the e-mail address tricia.borelli@loras.edu. All names of those sending questions will be kept confidential.

My Space Too Editor’s Note: You may recognize this “Tips with Trish” from the Sept. 25, 2014 edition of the Lorian. As we continue to move through the school year, we find that much of Trish’s advice is applicable beyond the scope of the weekly Lorian. To that end, we’ve brought back a classic piece of advice for those of you going through challenges with your roommate(s).

Dear Trish, I think I’ve done pretty well adjusting to having a roommate considering having my own space at home for years. Thankfully, my roommate and I get along fine. We respect each other’s stuff, keep the room relatively clean and don’t have people over all of the time.

Honestly I could have done much worse! On that note, however, I have one minor issue.

My roommate never leaves the room. Okay, well maybe she goes to class and the café, but besides that, she hardly leaves. I’m dying for some time to myself in the only space I can really call my own on campus. Is that too much to ask?

-My Space Too

What are you looking for? the life that is true life: Celebrating the Jubilee Holy Year of Mercy

by Fr. gross | for the Lorian

March 13 marked the second anniversary of the election of Pope Francis as Supreme Pastor of the Universal Church. To mark his second anniversary he declared that beginning on December 8, 2015, the Church will celebrate a Jubilee Holy Year of Mercy.

It will conclude on the Feast of Christ the King in November of 2016. Many people only experience one jubilee in their lives, but all of us will get to celebrate two.

The last one was the great Jubilee of 2000. Some of us can remember the Jubilee of 1983 and 1975.

What is a Jubilee? It is a practice that has Jewish roots in the Old Testament and since 1300, the Church has regularly celebrated jubilees every 25 years.

The time of jubilee is a time of renewal, forgiveness, and reconciliation. It is the time of the forgiving of debts. It is the time when we invoke the Lord for special blessings and graces so that we might be truly after the Lord’s heart.

Pope Francis offered these words to announce the Jubilee of Mercy. He said, “Dear brothers and sisters, I have often thought about how the Church might make clear its mission of being a witness to mercy. It is a journey that begins with a spiritual conversion. For

Mass Times at Christ the King 5:15 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday 9 p.m. Wednesday 8 p.m. Sunday

this reason, I have decided to call an extraordinary Jubilee that is to have the mercy of God at its center. It shall be a Holy Year of Mercy. We want to live this Year in the light of the Lord’s words: ‘Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful’” (cf. Lk 6:36).

The first moment of converting to the Lord is when we experience the merciful love of God. When we know that we are loved despite our many sins, it is then that the fullness of the Lord’s love can take hold of our lives. As one spiritual writer said, “Mercy is God’s second name.” We live in a world that is very broken and wounded. We live in a world where trust is suspect, commitments often fail, and material success is the measure of happiness. The result is sadness and doubting whether life is worth living.

The experience of God’s mercy is the act of love by God to show us that life is worth living and it can be a joy if we but walk with each other in our brokenness that is healed by the love and mercy of God. I can’t wait for this special year of mercy. I hope and pray that the Church does not squander this gift!

Please know of my prayers for all of you during this busy time of the semester!

Adoration at St. Joseph’s Chapel 9 to 10 a.m. and 12:30 a.m. to 4 p.m. Monday 9 a.m. to 4 p.m.

Tuesday thru Friday

Features

Dear My Space Too, You’re right in acknowledging that things could be worse. This is one of the better problems to have regarding roommates. With that being said, you do deserve a little time to yourself in that small box that you pay for each semester.

Try talking to your roommate about getting out sometimes for studying. Changing the scenery can sometimes be a good thing. Maybe you could try a few new places together like the lounge in your residence hall or the ACC or a certain place in the library. Sometimes fear or social anxiety keeps people in their room where they feel less anxious.

Exploring something with her or talking to your RA about a floor study night may help this problem.

On a similar note, checking out some clubs and organizations on campus might also get her out. You don’t have to be manipulative to suggest some organizations on campus that she might enjoy. Studies show that involvement in college activities actually can improve academic performance besides helping students make valuable connections on campus.

If neither of these things seems to help, you are likely just living with someone who is an extreme introvert. Try talking to her about her schedule and being honest with her about being a bit jealous that she gets the room to herself more often than you do. Maybe you two could come up with some time for you to have the room to yourself. It’s really not a lot to ask.

If these all seem too hard then just “bite the bullet” until the end of the year or at least the end of the semester and then talk to your RA about a move.

Your health is always a safe bet

by Mary Boots | for the lorian

Have you filled out your NCAA March Madness bracket yet? Which teams are looking good? How do you pick your final four – hours of research on the players, coach’s history in the tournament, rooting for the underdog, or preference of team color scheme? For many, completing their bracket is an innocent form of entertainment. However, for others, this time of year can be a slippery slope of problem gambling.

Sports betting, such as the March Madness brackets, continues to be extremely popular, particularly in college males – specifically athletes. For a growing number of young adults, gambling is becoming more than fun. An estimated 5.6% of college students are problem gamblers (Shaffer,2001).

This is more than double the rate of problem gambling among the overall adult population. For some college students, debts rise, they drop out of school, have trouble paying rent and use up their financial aid to pay for their gambling.

Consider the following: • 72% of student athletes have gambled at least once since entering college; 45% of male athletes gamble on sports (Cross & Vollano, 1999) • 1 in 20 male student athletes admitted providing inside information for gambling purposes, bet on a game in which they participated, or accepted money for performing poorly in a

•

game (Cross & Vollano, 1999) College athletes are more likely to gamble than non-athletes (NCAA, 2004), and about twice as likely to be problem gamblers (Rocket, Beason & Gilbert, 2002)

Signs of a problem sports gambler: • Excessive use of Internet and/or phone calls to 800- or 900- numbers • Obsession with point spreads • Unusual interest in obscure games • Association with other sports bettors • Shifting allegiances for/against same team on different days • Frequently hitting up friends or family for loans • Defensive when questioned about gambling behavior • Debts, unpaid bills, financial troubles • After losing, eager to bet again to get even or ahead Dangers related to problem gambling among college students could include: athletic and academic failure, crime, relationship problems, alcohol and substance abuse, debt, or in extreme cases, suicide.

If you or someone you care about can relate to these warning signs, please know that help is available. For a free consultation or to learn more about support that is available call 1-888-771-6771.

March is

Problem Gambling Awareness Month

Editorial staff executive editor: COLIN HALBMAIER news editor: ASHLEY PUDIL sports editor: RYAN GRAHAM assistant sports editor: DREW BRASHAW

executive copy editor: HANNAH WAY copy editors: Noelle Henneman Margaret Sentovich advertising manager: Colleen Mulry moderator: TIM MANNING

The Lorian

March 19, 2015

5

Will Ferrell Plays Ball by tyler garrison | staff writer

by nino erba | staff writer

Update: this film is now on DVD, so pick up the book, get smart, and get the movie!

Let’s face it: the Hunger Games is the era-defining, young adult novel-turned-movie franchise that has grabbed everyone’s attention.

More than “Divergent,” or almost any other franchise going on currently, the Hunger Games trilogy has touched a nerve that still resonates today. Perhaps it’s the dystopian future and the battle of the people vs. the corrupt and evil ruling class of the Capital. Or maybe it has to do with the heroine Katniss Everdeen, the formidable yet flawed central female protagonist. It’s through her that we have a megastar in Jennifer Lawrence, who may just be the best thing to come out of Hollywood in a long while (not only as a talented actress, but as a relatable figure as well). It’s also a well-written series, so much of the credit is due to the author Suzanne Collins.

“Mockingjay: Part 1” inevitably follows the trend set by Harry Potter by splitting the book into two movies. Granted, all of the books are thick, and “Mockingjay” is no exception. Still, you could argue that the last book doesn’t quite justify splitting it into two parts, but that would miss the point of experiencing the series.

We find Katniss, still coping with post-traumatic stress disorder but not entirely broken. Her friends and the survivors of District 12 are living underground (literally) in District 13, the one district that supposedly was wiped out years ago by the Capital. District 12 is in ashes, and violence in Panem is getting stronger as the revolution against the Capital gains momentum.

She and her best friend Gale (Liam Hemsworth) become fighters in the revolution, with Katniss being the Mockingjay — the symbol of the

revolution. But the fighting comes only after Katniss contends with the steely President Coin (Julianne Moore). All the while, Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) is being held hostage in the Capital, and the slimy President Snow (Donald Sutherland) remains formidable despite the ongoing revolution and a weakness that becomes clear in the movie.

The film series found its footing with “Catching Fire,” and “Mockingjay” doesn’t disappoint.

As usual, the action scenes are big, exciting spectacles that will grab the attention of moviegoers.

Meanwhile, the acting is solid, and Lawrence is particularly good this time around. Maybe it’s because we’re in love with her, but she knows how to play Katniss in the same way that Daniel Radcliffe knew how to play Harry Potter. As for that climax scene, if you haven’t read the book, prepare to be shocked. If you read it, it’s still horrifying to watch.

One surpise change from the books is President Coin. From what I can remember, she was much thornier and unlikeable in the book. We see a hint of that during one confrontation between Katniss and Coin. Still, Moore is a very good actress, and being fresh off her Oscar win, it’ll be interesting to see how she does in the next film.

So, everyone should enjoy the movie, even though it’s a long movie and makes the “Lego Movie” look like the ideologically confused “American Sniper.” However, with J-Law in tow, there’s a lot to love about this series, (the fact that it spawned at least two Top 40 hits helps). Grab a snack, and may the odds be ever in your favor.

He’s made us all laugh on the big screen, on the small screen, and on the news. But this time, Will Farrell is taking the field by storm in the Majors in Arizona’s Cactus League for spring training.

Will Farrell is known for publicity stunts such as getting kicked out of NBA games, showing up on the news as Ron Burgundy, and competing in a drum-off with his Red Hot Chili Pepper looka-like, Chad Smith. Farrell played for ten different teams last Thursday including Chicago’s Cubs and the White Sox. This stunt will be featured on an upcoming HBO special that raises money for cancer care and research. Memorabilia including the uniforms which Farrell donned on the field will be auctioned off to raise further proceeds. His antics included arguments with the umpires, showing up in a helicopter, and playing all nine positions in one day, including coaching roles. Though Farrell did not have too much success at the plate, he did hit a foul tip and even made an impressive catch in the outfield.

Fans’ reactions were typically positive and the media does not pass up on a good Will Farrell routine. One man not impressed was legendary football coach and commentator John Madden.

He claims that he absolutely hated the whole stunt and called it disrespectful for the game. Farrell brilliantly responds according to the Toronto Sun with, “Are you kidding me?

I love that in the wake of what was for the most part pretty positive feedback, the one dissenting voice was John Madden.

I’ll take it.”

Farrell brushes off Madden’s remarks with ease and hopes to generate millions of dollars for the cause.

Farrell claims he was in fact lucky that he made it out unharmed by balls traveling at lightning speeds through the infield fresh off of a slugger’s bat. Farrell is currently promoting his upcoming film “Get Hard” and will participate next month in the Comedy Central’s Roast of Justin Bieber. The MLB’s opening day will take place on April 5 in Chicago where the Cubs will face off against their rivals the St. Louis Cardinals. The following day will be the remaining teams’ opening-day ceremonies.

Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo, A Cinderella Movie for You! by nino erba | staff writer

Among the films in the Disney pantheon that are the most untouchable, “Cinderella” ranks among the highest of the bunch. The second of the classic Disney princess films made during Walt Disney’s time, (the others being “Snow White” and “Sleeping Beauty”), it ended Disney’s vague period in the 1940s and helped usher in a new phase of more recognized and beloved titles (“Alice in Wonderland,” “Lady & the Tramp,” etc.). Now we’re here in 2015 left wondering what’s more amazing: the fact that Disney did a relatively straightforward remake (as opposed to the reinventive approach of Tim Burton’s “Alice in Wonderland” or “Maleficent”), or that they didn’t screw it up. In all honesty, this new version is a good stand-alone effort that can be played both in combination with and in contrast to the original.

What’s different about this version is that we get more backstory this time around. Ella is a girl with everything she could have in her life: a big, beautiful house; parents who truly love her; and an outlook on life that makes Leslie Knope from “Parks & Recreation” look like Eeyore.

However, things start going downhill when her mother falls unexpectedly and fatally ill. Before she dies, she tells Ella to “have courage and be kind,” a mantra that is used too many times in the movie. Life goes on and her father remarries to Lady Tremaine, played terrifically by Cate Blanchett. After her father dies, Ella becomes a servant in her own home and…

It’s Cinderella. You know how it goes. Still, what makes a story like this special is the journey, not the destination. If we’re to judge this movie, we should see how it holds up to previous incarnations of the story.

One of the best things about this version is how developed Cinderella is. She shows emotion, or at least more than the animated version. At least she’s not a total dishrag in this movie.

She even stands up to her wicked stepmother. Cinderella is more of a human being than at any moment during the animated film, which is needed because

this isn’t the 1950s anymore.

Still, I think I’ve been spoiled. After seeing “Into the Woods,” the bar for Cinderella portrayals has been irrevocably raised for me. With “Into the Woods,” we got perhaps the most three-dimensional characterization of Cinderella that we’ll probably ever see. This movie falls in between the animated film and “Into the Woods,” and until we get a Cinderella where she’s a true human being without the aid of Sondheim music, we’ll be left waiting.

There’s much to love about this movie. The costumes and production design are simply wonderful, and for a film that was made for less than $100 million, it looks great. Helena Bonham Carter, now separated (some would say freed) from Tim Burton, is a quirky delight as the Fairy Godmother. And Kenneth Branagh is an inspired choice as the director, his Shakespearean pedigree blending well with his versatility and skills as a film director (lest we forget, he actually directed the first Thor movie). Plus, Cate Blanchett hamming it up as the wicked stepmother. Can’t do much wrong there.

All in all, we have an enjoyable romp. It’s not going to be an instant classic, but it will play nicely in the Disney pantheon. Let’s hope that the live-action “Beauty and the Beast” is just as successful.

Sports

The Lorian

March 19, 2015

6

Duhawks still winless at home Head for the door

track & field

Fontbonne 3, Loras 0

(25-20, 25-21, 25-22) Loras (3-15, 1-8)........ AC Kl Dg Ast Dawid Kasprzak..................0 11 1 0 Kyle Zacok...........................0 3 1 0 Shayne Marquez.................0 0 7 30 Jimmy Combs.....................0 5 2 0 TJ Esporas..........................0 15 6 0 Dylan Ross.......................... 1 7 1 1 Danny Krasich....................0 0 0 7 Mitchell Rubino..................0 0 0 0 Blair Anderson....................0 0 14 1 Darin Yrigoyen....................0 0 3 0 Michael Kreiser...................0 2 3 0 Totals........................... 1 43 38 39

Mount St. Joseph 3, Loras 1 (21-25, 25-22, 25-11, 25-20) Loras (3-16, 1-9)........ AC Kl Dg Ast Michael Kreiser...................2 3 9 1 Dawid Kasprzak..................0 1 0 0 Shayne Marquez.................0 0 6 16 Jimmy Combs..................... 1 6 2 0 TJ Esporas.......................... 1 6 9 0 Dylan Ross..........................0 5 0 0 Danny Krasich....................0 0 2 6 Blair Anderson....................0 0 17 1 Kyle Zacok...........................0 3 1 0 Totals...........................4 24 46 24

by Drew Brashaw | asst. sports editor

With eyes on earning their first home victory in program history, the Duhawks hosted a pair of conference opponents this weekend, taking on the Fontbonne Griffins and the Mount St. Joseph Lions. Unfortunately for the young Loras squad, that elusive first home win couldn’t be found, as the Duhawks fell 0-3 against the Griffins on Friday night, and 1-3 against the Lions on Saturday.

Friday night’s match against Fontbonne was seen by many as the Duhawks’ best opportunity of the season to notch their historic first victory in the AWC, having defeated the Griffins 3-0 on Feb. 27 in Missouri. Despite outstanding offensive performances by a bevy of tal-

ented Loras first-years, Fontbonne was able to flip the script this time around, and took the match in straight sets.

The first set was a back-and-forth affair, with both teams enjoying the lead at different times. After being tied at 15, the Griffins began to pull away, and finished on a 7-3 run to win the set 25-20.

Set 2 was even tighter than set 1, with neither team gaining more than a 1-pt. lead until Fontbonne engineered a 7-0 run at 15-all, and eventually took the set by a score of 25-21.

In the third and final set, with the score evened at 19-19, the Griffins were awarded a point for a highly questionable ball-handling error called against first-year Shayne Marquez. Fontbonne would hang on for a 25-22 victory to close out the match.

First-years T.J. Esporas and Dawid Kasprzak led the Loras attack with career-highs in kills Friday, tallying 15 and 11, respectively. Marquez racked up 30 assists, setting a new team record.

“It’s a tough pill to swallow,” Esporas said. “I thought we played a great match offensively, but on defense we weren’t there, our blocks weren’t there to close.

It’s something we’re going to have to work on.”

On Saturday, the Duhawks came out hot against 15th-ranked Mount St. Joseph, taking the first four points of the match. Loras led from wire to wire in set 1, winning 25-21. The Lions came out on top of a closely contested 2nd set, 25-22, and ran away with set 3, 25-10.

Set four began as a much more competitive frame, featuring six tie scores and five lead changes in the early going.

The Lions then created separation with an 8-1 run, and took the fourth and decisive set, 25-20.

First-year Jimmy Combs recorded six kills and four blocks against the Lions,

while Esporas contributed six kills, a block and a service ace. First-year Blair Anderson recorded double-digit digs for the seventh time this season, racking up a career-high 17.

“The key for us right now is consistency,” Anderson said. “We have to click on both offense and defense, and it’s going to come.”

Head Coach Jeremy Thornburg echoed Anderson’s sentiment.

“We’re going to be scary when every thing’s clicking, we’re just hoping for that to come pretty soon,” he said.

The Duhawks will have one more opportunity to grab their first home victory when they host Lakeland College for senior night on Saturday in the AWC.

Steger, DeWitt earn All-American honors at NCAA Division III National Championships in Hershey, PA

FEET

by Drew Brashaw | asst. sports editor

(NOT ON THE STREET)

SERIOUS DELIVERY!

TM

©2014 JIMMY JOHN’S FRANCHISE, LLC ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

photo by Maddy Cole

First-year Shayne Marquez sets the ball for fellow first-year Dawid Kasprzak during the Duhawks’ 0-3 loss to Fontbonne last Friday.

All-American

ON OUR

TO FIND THE LOCATION NEAREST YOU VISIT JIMMYJOHNS.COM

by Matthew Marter | sportswriter

Last weekend, three Duhawks from the men’s and women’s track and field teams got the chance to race at the highest level of competition for their indoor season: the Division III National meet. Although their expectations were much higher than their official results, these Duhawks were proud to get the chance to run at Nationals.

Among them was senior Kyle Ward, who qualified for the 60-meter dash with a time of 6.89, the new school record. In his preliminary heat however, he only ran a time of 6.96. This wasn’t fast enough to get him to the finals, but it earned him the 13th place in Division III. “I felt as though there were components of my start that I left out due to my level of excitement at the meet,” Ward said.

The excitement was expected, since it was his first trip to the national meet in his four years at Loras.

“There was an energy unlike anything I have ever experienced before,” Ward said. “I was pretty pumped to say the least.”

Not only was this Ward’s last race of the 2015 indoor season, it was also his last collegiate indoor race.

He said that his goal was “to make finals and earn [All-American honors],” but he’s placing “[his] hopes of qualifying for nationals in [his] outdoor performance.”

Ward was optimistic about him and the rest of the team for the outdoor season.

“If all goes well, we’ll bringing a flock of Duhawks to New York [for the outdoor Nationals meet] in May.” Junior Zach Frey competed in the 800-meter run on Friday. Due to a slow first half of the race, Frey finished with a time of 1:54.75. This unfortunately was not enough to get Frey into the finals. He missed out of the last spot by 0.25 seconds.

Sophomore Elizabeth Brandenburg also missed out on a spot in the finals in the 60-meter hurdles. She finished 10th in Division III, missing a place in the finals by two-hundredths of a second.

With the snow completely removed from the track, the Duhawks compete alongside a few alumni in an inter-squad meet this Saturday, and then begin the outdoor season at Knox College in Illinois on March 28.

wrestling

FAST

★ JIMMYJOHNS.COM ★

Runners and throwers prepare for outdoor season after a disappointing Indoor Championship meet

Senior Steven DeWitt and junior Nick Steger each earned All-American honors over the weekend, after advancing to the semifinal round of the NCAA Division III Championships in Hershey, PA. DeWitt finished fourth in the 157-pound bracket, and Steger finished fifth at 141.

Steven DeWitt While both men went to Hershey with goals of becoming National Champions, the All-American distinction provides fitting punctuation for the outstanding individual seasons turned in by DeWitt and Steger in 2014-15.

DeWitt finished the season with an overall record of 35-4, while Nick Steger Steger posted a 28-3 mark.

DeWitt opened his tournament by earning a 13-8 decision in an out-bracket match against Roger Williams University’s Tyler Herzog. In his second match, DeWitt built an 11-3 lead over Shawn Brewer of Alma College before an injury to Brewer forced the bout to a halt, sending DeWitt through to the quarterfinals. The quarterfinal round pitted DeWitt against Tom Gerszewski of UW-Whitewater, in a return bout from the NWCA Duals on Jan. 9, when DeWitt earned an 8-4 decision. On the strength of 3 takedowns and a reversal, DeWitt duplicated the feat on Friday, earning another decision over Gerszewski by an identical score, and advancing to Saturday’s semifinal round.

In the semis, DeWitt was met by top-seeded and undefeated Nick Carr of Washington and Jefferson College. Carr lived up to his billing, scoring 4 takedowns and limiting DeWitt’s scoring to escape points en route to the 10-3 decision. Carr would go on to be crowned champion at 157 pounds, toppling Wabash’s Reece Lefever in the finals.

A familiar face awaited DeWitt in the consolation bracket, as he squared off against Wartburg’s Drew Waggenhoffer for the third time this season in his first wrestleback. Just like in their two previous meetings, DeWitt came out the victor, scoring a 10-5 decision to complete the trifecta over his Iowa Conference rival.

DeWitt came up short in his 3rd-place match, yielding a 1st-period fall to 3rd-seeded Jorge Lopez of Williams College. The senior closed out his collegiate career as a 4th-place finisher with All-American honors.

Steger began his first trip to Nationals with an opening-round pinfall victory over Jake Sevoca of Williams College. Steger pinned Sevoca at 6:11, after building a comfortable lead with takedowns and back points.

In his quarterfinal match, Steger faced 3rd-seeded Jacoby Bergeron of Concordia-Moorhead. After a scoreless 1st period, Steger built 1:27 of riding time to begin the 2nd period before allowing the escape. Steger started the 3rd period from the bottom position, but escaped fast enough to preserve his riding time and grind out the 2-1 decision.

The semifinal round at 141 pounds featured an Iowa Conference showdown between Steger and Luther’s Drew Van Anrooy. Van Anrooy came out on top of an early 1st-period scramble, and was able to stick Steger’s shoulders to the mat for a fall just 41 seconds into the bout, knocking him from the championship bracket.

Steger would drop an 11-5 decision to NYU’s Brandon Jones in his first consolation match, but bounced back to earn a 4-1 decision over Layten Binion of North Central (IL) to finish the tournament with a victory and a 5th-place finish.

“I’m just so proud of both of them,” said Head Coach Randy Steward of his two All-Americans.

“They lost in the semifinals, and you’ll see a lot of kids in that situation just cash it in and go to sixth place. But they both stepped up and won another match after that, so I think that says a lot about them.”

The Duhawks finished the tournament in 15thplace in the overall team standings.

Sports

The Lorian

March 19, 2015

7

Drew’s Views

FORE! S

photo courtesy of Jim Naprstek

Senior Katie Serpico makes contact from the plate during the Duhawks’ eight-game weekend in Tucson, AZ. Despite her offensive struggles so far this season, the senior leader has still been able to get on base.

Serpico’s .483 on-base-percentage is second on the team.

Duhawks gain experience in Tucson Seniors shine despite 3-5 finish at invitational

Tucson Invitational

and Staten Island, 12-5 and 8-0, respectively.

(March 12-15) Day three began with a morning matchup against the Edgeby Frank Fernandez | sportswriter Loras 3, Baldwin Wallace 0 wood Eagles. The Duhawks took The Duhawks traveled to Ari(Thursday, March 12th) the lead early with an rbi single zona for the Tucson Invitational r h e Games, where they would take Loras....................000 000 3 3 3 1 by freshman Regan Wolverton, part in eight games over the week- Baldwin...............000 000 0 0 3 2 holding a 1-0 lead after the first.

Loras: Julie Kistner — 1-3, rbi The lead didn’t last, as Edgewood end.

Baldwin: S. Bennett — 1-2 responded with six runs in the After opening the weekend on WP: Holly Klein — 7.0 ip, 0 er, so, bb second. The Eagles offense cona two-game winning streak, Loras LP: S. Dostall — 7.0 ip, 2 er, 9 so, 3 bb tinued their onslaught, ending in (5-7) dropped five of their next six a 16-5 win. games to finish 3-5 in Arizona.

Loras 10, Cedar Crest 1 In game two, the Duhawks had The Duhawks opened play (Friday, March 13th) a rematch with the Alfred College against the Baldwin Wallace Yel- r h e Saxons.

After scoring in the openLoras. . ..................

042 04 10 9 1 low Jackets in a Thursday mornCedar Crest........

010 00 1 4 4 ing frame, the Saxons held the 1-0 ing matchup. Senior ace Holly Loras: Wolverton — 2-4, rbi, run lead until the fourth.

Senior Katie Klein dominated on the mound Cedar Crest: Kaylee Martinez — 2-3 Serpico came to the plate for the early, with the Duhawks defense WP: Makaila Haase — 5.0 ip, 1 er, 3 so, 2 bb Duhawks with the bases loaded LP: Amanda Kustanbauter — 2.0 ip, 3 bb, so helping her out. In the third inand blasted a pitch over the left ning, the Yellow Jackets had a field fence for her first grand slam runner on second and were lookAlfred 12, Loras 5 of the season. With the slam, the ing to strike first. With one out, (Friday, March 13th) Duhawks took a 4-1 lead.

Stats not available. the runner took off for third but Unfortunately for the Duhawks, senior catcher Nora Zerante cut they could not hold onto their her down. The Duhawks held Staten Island 8, Loras 0 lead. The Saxons pushed across Baldwin Wallace hitless for the (Friday, March 13th) four runs over the next four inrest of the game.

Stats not available. nings and took the 5-4 lead into Still scoreless heading into the the seventh inning. After an inseventh, the Duhawks knew that Edgewood 16, Loras 5 surance run in the top half, the they needed their offense to come (Saturday, March 14th) Saxons led 6-4 as the Duhawks up big. With runners on the corStats not available. looked to extend the contest. Deners and one out, sophomore Cate spite their best efforts, the offense Paulsen stepped up to the plate. could not get anything going and Alfred 6, Loras 4 After a perfect bunt and an error, Loras fell, 6-4.

(Saturday, March 14th) both runners came across the Stats not available.

The final day of competition plate to give the Duhawks the 2-0 brought two more games, the first lead. Junior Julie Kistner padded against the Marian Sabres. Klein the lead with an rbi single and the Loras 4, Marian 0 returned to the mound and struck game headed to the final half with (Sunday, March 15th) out a season-high six batters. Her h e Loras on top 3-0. Holly Klein re- r second complete game shutout turned to the mound and complet- Marian................000 000 0 0 3 2 Loras..................... 101 200 x 4 12 1 of the weekend, along with timeed her shutout performance with Loras: Katie Serpico — 2-3, rbi ly hitting on offense, allowed the a 1-2-3 inning and the Duhawks Marian: D. Oronzo — 1-3 Duhawks to take game one, 4-0.

WP: Holly Klein — 7.0 ip, 0 er, 6 so, 1 bb took this game, 3-0.

LP: Gorges — 6.0 ip, 3 er, 6 so, 0 bb Game two was a rematch with The Duhawks started day two the Edgewood Eagles, looking with an early morning matchup to avenge their loss on Friday. A Edgewood 5, Loras 1 against Cedar Crest. Another comshaky start allowed the Eagles to (Sunday, March 15th) plete-game pitching performance, hold a 4-0 heading into the fifth, r h e this time by junior Makaila Haase, Loras....................000 010 0 1 4 2 with the Duhawks desperate for and explosive bats led the Du- Edgewood............120 110 x 5 8 1 offense. With two on, Wolverton Loras: Regan Wolverton — 1-4, rbi hawks to a 10-1 victory. stepped up and drove in a run to Edgewood: Clark — 2-4, rbi Head Coach Ashley Winter was WP: Klossner — 6.2 ip, er, 3 so, 6 bb cut the lead to three. However, excited to see the pitching domi- LP: Makaila Haase — 0.1 ip, er, 2 bb the Eagles were able to push their nance the Duhawks displayed in lead back to four and hold off a their first two games. rally, ending the game 5-1.

“Our pitching really set the tone for the rest of the The Duhawks completed the weekend with a 3-5 regame, those kind of performances are going to help us cord, pushing their overall record to 5-7. With five days as we move forward,” Winter said. off now, the Duhawks have time to prepare for a trip However, the Duhawks pitching and offense had to Mount Vernon on Friday. Loras will take on Cornell no answer in their next two games, falling to Alfred College in a doubleheader, starting at 4 p.m.

pring is in the air in the Midwest.

It’s that special time of the year when we pretend to enjoy yardwork and basketball, and when Cubs fans can still harbor some delusional hope for their inevitably doomed season. More importantly, the changing of seasons means it’s Drew Brashaw time to dust off the golf clubs after a asst. sports editor long winter’s rest.

For many, golf is a fun and gratifying activity filled with challenges and excitement. For some, however, it’s nothing more than an expensive exercise in futility and frustration.

Countless beginners abandon the game far too quickly for one simple reason: the game of golf is insanely difficult. A seemingly endless succession of terrible shots with no positive results in sight can quickly drain the fun from the game and drive newbies off the course for good.

Don’t give up: I’m here to help.

While I have absolutely nothing to offer in terms of improving your technical skills, I can definitely help make your round of golf more enjoyable. As a learned expert in fun and a longtime practitioner of bad golf, I have a few tips that will help even the most hopeless hookers and slicers have a good time playing bad golf.

Before you can go out and start flailing away, you have to choose the proper companions for your round. Personally, I prefer to play alone, but I understand that some people have friends with whom they enjoy playing, and I think that’s terrific. A bad group can ruin a perfectly good round of bad golf, and one bad member can ruin the whole group. Here are a few notorious archetypes to avoid when filling out your foursome: The Tour Pro Poser – Dressed to the nines in the latest golf fashion, and outfitted with a brand new set of state-of-the-art irons, the Tour Pro Poser takes his game very seriously. He knows all the moves. The TPP can often be found hovering over his ball for excruciating periods of time before a shot, carefully contemplating his club selection while meticulously accounting for lie, distance, wind, elevation, barometric pressure, dew point, UV index, the Earth’s rotation, and El Nino. When the TPP fails to achieve the perfection expected of someone so well-dressed and well-equipped, he exhibits his displeasure through high-decibel, expletive-laden self-reprimand, while mashing the head of his $500 driver into the turf.

The Swing Coach – This helpful chap generously doles out unsolicited advice to improve the game of anyone polite enough to listen. He’s read Ben Hogan’s book, and perhaps he’s even taken a lesson himself, making him an unquestionable authority on technique. The Swing Coach knows exactly what you’re doing wrong, and is more than willing to correct your swing at every possible opportunity.

The Rules Official – Did you notice that you just grounded your clubhead in the bunker? The Rules Official did, and he’s about to sternly inform you that such an action is in direct violation of Rule 13-4, and you have just incurred a one-stroke penalty. Armed with a vigilant eye, a comprehensive knowledge of the USGA rulebook, and a firm grip on the scorecard, the Rules Official regards the integrity of the sport above all else, especially fun.

After choosing an appropriate playing group, it’s time to hit the links. Leave the pencil and scorecard at the clubhouse; this isn’t math class. Keeping score will only serve as a numerical quantification of how lousy you really are. Forget the rulebook as well--we definitely won’t need it.

The first tee sets the tone for the entire round, and a bad opening drive can start you down the cart path to destruction. I subscribe to the “hit until you’re happy” school of thought when it comes to the first tee (although the group waiting to tee off behind you might not). This method will not only help you get loose, but it will give you a chance to see which direction your hopelessly errant shots will be spraying for the rest of the day. Plan accordingly.

I’ve established already that golf, as laid out by its creators and governing bodies, is not for everyone.

Some folks have to change the game completely to make it palatable. I encourage you to contort the game of golf and its rules in any manner you see fit.

Be creative. Hunter S. Thompson liked to play a game called “shotgun golf,” (it’s just what it sounds like).

Gamble with your friends, and drive the golf cart like you stole it.

If willful violation of longstanding rules, gambling, and reckless operation of small motor vehicles are still not enough to salvage your round, do what most golfers do: drink until you don’t care. Independent studies have shown that the consumption of cold beer, (by golfers of legal drinking age, in a totally responsible, non-bingey manner), can aid drastically in the disremembering of poor shots, and leave the golfer with a positive impression of his outing.

Bombs away.

8

The Lorian

Sports

March 19, 2015

coach’s corner

No one cares about your bracket Graham Slam

photo courtesy of Jim Naprstek

Senior Adam Kennedy digs in at the plate during the Duhawks’ four-game stand in Jacksonville, IL, last weekend. Kennedy’s pair of home runs leads the team through 10 games.

Scoring fest Loras, opponents combine to score 85 runs through 4 games

an inning that can sometimes be hard to dig our(Saturday, March 14th) selves out from.” r h e Early Sunday afternoon, Loras.................... 010 052 041 13 16 1 the Duhawks were again up MacMurray........ 001 011 200 5 10 5

by Katie Truesdale | sportswriter against the Pipers for their Loras: Patrick Walsh — 3-5, 2 rbi, bb, hr The weekend started off first of two games on the day.

M’M: Andrew Frazier — 3-4, run strong for the Loras Baseball WP: Adam Schwoebel — 6.0 ip, 2 er, 3 so, 4 bb Despite a strong offenteam as they headed to Jack- LP: Dillon Hodges — 5.0 ip, 1 er, 4 so, 3 bb sive performance from the sonville, IL, for two games Duhawks, the Pipers came against MacMurray College out even stronger. Hamline Hamline 10, Loras 1 and two games against Hamscored a whopping 20 runs (Saturday, March 14th) line University. on 18 hits on their way to h e In four high-scoring con- r a 20-9 victory. Despite his tests, the Duhawks could Hamline............... 114 100 030 10 11 1 strong offensive performancLoras....................000 001 000 1 4 3 only muster one win, drop- Loras: Patrick Walsh — 1-3, run, bb es on the weekend, Walsh ping their record to an even Hamline: Andy Sammon — 2-5, 3 rbi struggled from the mound 5-5 on the season.

WP: Aaron Stoneberg — 7 ip, 0 er, 5 so, 3 bb against Hamline, allowing The Duhawks were ini- LP: Alex Steines — 4.1 ip, 7 er, 3 so, 3 bb 12 earned runs through 4.6 tially up against MacMurray innings.

College on Saturday, walking For their final game of the Hamline 20, Loras 9 away with a 13-5 win over the weekend, the Duhawks once (Sunday, March 15th) Highlanders behind Junior again met up with MacMur r h e Patrick Walsh’s 3-5, 3 rbi, 3 ray College. After the DuLoras.....................051 120 0 9 11 4 run performance. hawks scored three runs to Hamline.............. 042 086 x 20 18 2 Senior Adam Schwoebel Loras: Cole Reeg — 3-4, 3 rbi, bb, run take the lead in the bottom held off MacMurray from Hamline: Rick Tormey — 3-5, 4 rbi, hr, 2 runs of the first, the Highlanders the mound, allowing only WP: Nick Kukurich — 2.1 ip, 0 er, 3 so, 3 bb took no time answering with two runs through six innings. LP: Patrick Walsh — 4.2 ip, 12 er, 6 so, 2 bb six runs of their own in the In their second game of top of the second. the day, the Duhawks took MacMurray 17, Loras 10 MacMurray held the on Hamline University. It lead for much of the game, (Sunday, March 15th) seemed that their offensive r but put the Duhawks away h e groove was short lived, as MacMurray........ 060 040 070 17 19 0 in the top of the eighth, Loras’ only run came in the Loras.................... 320 100 040 10 15 3 w h e n t h e y a d d e d s e v e n sixth inning on a throwing Loras: Patrick Walsh — 2-4, 2 rbi, 2 bb, 2 runs r u n s . L o r a s a t t e m p t e d error that scored Walsh from M’M: Brett Mammenga — 4-5, 3 rbi, 3 runs to rally with four runs of WP: Mike Raines — 3.0 ip, 0 er, 2 so, bb third. their own in the bottom of LP: Will Petrosky — 4.0 ip, 9.0 er, 5 so, 4 bb Junior pitcher Alex the inning, but fell short as Steines struggled from the Highlanders took the mound, allowing the final game of the Season statistics seven earned runs on weekend, 17-10.

(Through Sunday, March 15th) nine hits through 4.3 After their 1-3 weekinnings. Hamline would Batting end in Jacksonville, the take game two, 10-1.

Player................ G h rbi hr slg% ob% avg Duhawks find them“If you don’t come Patrick Walsh........... 8 12 8 1 .633 .526 .400 selves even with a reready to play and leave Spence Bonner......... 8 13 6 0 .485 .459 .394 cord of 5-5. everything on the field Nolan Ritter............. 8 8 5 0 .381 .481 .381 Loras begins conferTony Heiser............. 7 11 5 0 .448 .438 .379 anyone is beatable,” ence play this Friday Adam Kennedy........ 8 12 10 2 .688 .429 .375 said junior Lucas Jac- Ryan Koester............ 5 3 1 0 .375 .444 .375 and Saturday with a que. “One of the key as- Anthony Flattery...... 7 9 4 0 .370 .406 .333 pair of double-headers pects that we as a team Luke Leibforth......... 8 8 3 0 .333 .433 .333 at home against Simphave to continue to do Dan Pecoraro........... 4 2 0 0 .333 .500 .333 son. is communicate. Hav- Lucas Jacque............ 8 5 8 0 .273 .357 .227 “For our first coning the ability to talk Cole Reeg................. 8 8 5 0 .351 .275 .216 ference games, we’re to each other and let Totals..................8 93 55 3 .441 .422 .333 taking a deep breath Opponents..........8 86 56 1 .437 .413 .310 each other know what and realizing that it’s Pitching is expected in every not going to be given Player........... app-gs ip w-l bb so avg era situation is a big thing to us,” said Walsh. “We Patrick Walsh............1-1 6.0 1-0 2 5 .174 1.50 we need to continue to learned this weekend Alex Steines.............. 2-1 5.2 0-0 3 6 .143 1.59 work on. that we need to fight Adam Schwoebel..... 2-2 11.1 1-0 4 10 .311 3.97 “Another aspect is Robert Hovey...........2-0 4.0 0-0 1 6 .250 4.50 e v e r y i n n i n g o f e v being focused on the Nick Spiess...............2-0 3.1 0-0 0 3 .308 5.41 ery game. Conference task at hand,” he con- Nick Petruzzi............6-0 5.2 1-0 5 6 .333 6.36 games are the most tinued. “We need to be Kody Massner..........3-0 7.0 1-0 2 6 .321 9.00 important games of the Connor Schreck.......4-0 4.1 0-1 1 5 .364 10.39 focused on every pitch, Brad Schwind........... 3-1 6.0 0-0 4 6 .393 10.50 season and I think we every out, every inning, Will Petrosky............ 3-3 12.0 0-1 13 11 .373 11.25 will be ready when it of every game; because Totals.................. 8 67.0 4-2 38 65 .310 6.58 comes to playing those one slip up can lead to Opponents.......... 8 66.2 2-4 31 40 .333 7.02 games at home.”

Loras 13, MacMurray 5

W

help, it’s that time of year again.

The field of 68 is set, the brackets are hot off the presses, and sportswriters all over the nation are starting editorials with the sentence, “Whelp, it’s that time of year again.”

Three things are going to happen over the next month or so. First, you’re going to fill out a bracket.

Regardless of your degree of college basketball knowledge, you’re going to convince yourself that Ryan Graham you’re a modern-day Nostradamus. Next, the sports editor tournament will begin and your bracket will go up in flames, like within an hour. Despondent, you’ll proceed to back every person you come in contact with into a corner and engage in the “March Madness conversation.” You know the one.

Like a husband exiled to the local dive bar after a fight with the ol’ ball and chain landed you in the dog house, you’ll search for someone, anyone who will listen to your struggle.

“I’ll tell you what, Larry, Villanova really screwed me last week,” you’ll say, to some stranger not named Larry. “My Final Four is a mess!”

Let’s get one thing straight. No one gives a rat’s ass about your bracket. Not your friends, not me, not Larry — nobody.

Yet for some reason, we feel the need to cram our March Madness woes deep down into the throats of anyone in our general vicinity.

March Madness turns us into monsters, into evangelical missionaries, spreading the good word of shared disappointment. We’ll stop at nothing until everyone knows our pain.

The alternative is even worse. Occasionally, you’ll multiple-guess your way to a respectably accurate bracket. You’ll have six of the Elite Eight teams and all four of the Final Four teams still alive, and as a result, you’ll walk around with an upturned nose, lording over all the peasants who listened to that idiot Jay Bilas.

But in reality, the NCAA tournament is a crap shoot. Even head coach of top-seeded Kentucky John Calipari acknowledged this.

“I think I have the best team and the best players,” Calipari told ESPN. “Does that mean we’ll win? No, it doesn’t.”

A team of grindy, white, four-year starters can come out and hit 100 three-pointers over five games on their way to a Final Four appearance.

We’ve seen it happen before, and I’ll bet you anything it happens again.

If you just so happen to hit a vein with some hot-shooting mid-major team like VCU or Wichita State, it says nothing about your college basketball knowledge. If anything, it says more about your lack of it.

Basketball is a weird sport where anything can happen. Kentucky’s AllAmerican forward Willie Cauley-Stein might pick up four fouls in the first half of a game. Wisconsin’s Frank Kaminsky could trip and twist both ankles, rendering him as unathletic as his pasty complexion would suggest. Duke’s Jahlil Okafor could get exposed to a chemical explosion and lose sight in his left eye, who knows?

No one knows. So your predictions, be they spot-on or wildly inaccurate — don’t matter.

With that said, here are my predictions for this year’s NCAA Tournament. Keep in mind, I know just as much about college basketball as I do about scented candles. The following predictions are based solely on things I think I remember people saying one time.

Midwest Region Sweet Sixteen: n No. 1 Kentucky over No. 12 Buffalo (Why do all teams from Buffalo have a mascot that resembles some sort of Buffalo? We get it, your city is also the name of an animal.) n No. 3 Notre Dame over No. 10 Indiana (I think I heard that Notre Dame had a good offense? I don’t know.)

Elite Eight: n No. 1 Kentucky over No. 3 Notre Dame (Apparently Kentucky hasn’t lost any games this year. It’s amazing what a few $1,000 handshakes can accomplish.)

West Region Sweet Sixteen: n No. 1 Wisconsin over No. 13 Harvard (Down go the Crimsonites!) n No. 2 Arizona over No. 11 BYU (Ending the century’s-old debate over sex before the big game.)

Elite Eight: n No. 1 Wisconsin over No. 2 Arizona (HOT TAKE OVER HERE) East Region Sweet Sixteen: n No. 5 UNI over No. 1 Villanova (Ali Farokhmanesh lives on.) n No. 2 Virginia over No. 14 Albany (Albany is the capital of New York!)

Elite Eight: n No. 5 UNI over No. 1 Villanova (This has absolutely nothing to do with being a UNI fan.)

South Region Sweet Sixteen: n No. 1 Duke over No. 4 Georgetown (I have no idea why Georgetown is here. I literally just picked a random team.) n No. 3 Iowa State over No. 7 Iowa (Only because this would be awesome.)

Elite Eight: n No. 3 Iowa State over No. 1 Duke (Eat your heart out, coach K.) Final Four n No. 1 Kentucky over No. 1 Wisconsin ($20 says Frank Kaminsky cries.) n No. 3 Iowa State over No. 5 UNI (Is this really my Final Four matchup? Jesus Christ…)

National Championship: n No. 1 Kentucky over No. 3 Iowa State Final score: Kentucky ∞, Iowa State 46 I think I nailed it.