Binder for march 20

BUSS WINS NATIONAL WRESTLING TITLE

DONKEY KONG

Donkey Kong Country is back and more fun than a barrel of monkeys

Loras grapplers finish No. 10 in the nation Page 8

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March 20, 2014 — Vol. 92, Issue 11

Housing sign-up fast approaching

by MARY AGNOLI| co-executive editor

One of the most stressful days for Loras students is quickly approaching. No, it’s not registering for fall classes or even midterms, but rather, housing sign-ups. And this year brings with it a particular uneasiness due to the employment of a new, electronic approach to housing sign-ups.

“In the past we had a process that was in person for students and was three days long,” said Molly Burrows Schumacher, assistant dean of students. “It was pretty intensive, took a long time and a lot of energy for students to be a part of that. It was also very difficult with schedules.”

With the new system, powered by Simple Campus Housing, making its debut on Sunday, Residence Life is excited for the flexibility if allows for students. For example, Duhawks who are studying abroad no longer need to worry about finding proxies for sign-ups.

In addition, this online service provides students with the ability to check the availability of desired housing options with a few simple clicks of the mouse, instead of trekking to the ballrooms every hour or so, as was necessary in the past.

Some components of the old housing system, however, are still in place. “[The brackets] are determined by credits,” said Jina Quade, assistant director of res-

idence life. “It’s the same as we’ve always done it in that respect.”

However, instead of the sequential and individual-number “lottery” system, a small group of students in each time slot all have equal opportunity for selecting their desired housing.

Due to past experiences, Burrows Schumacher and Quade estimate that out of the 70 students per half-hour slot, only about 15 to 20 will actually register. This is both due to upperclassmen living off campus and students with overlapping registration times rooming together. Therefore, for the students who are used to the number “lottery” system and knowing when particular housing options are

filled by said numbers, they encourage students to use the “15 per half-hour” rule.

“It’s going to be a learning experience,” said Burrows Schumacher.

Residence Life is even taking the precaution of opening sign-ups for the first few students to ensure there are no problems with the system come Sunday and the following week.

They also encourage students to fill out their profile on the website prior to Sunday, because they will be unable to sign-up if they are not registered.

If students have any more concerns about the new system, representatives of Residence Life will be outside of the cafe during the lunch period to answer any questions.

Meet the musicians: The songs and stories of 6 students

by CLAIRA SIEVERDING| for the lorian

The following juniors and seniors are excited to share their talents with the Loras community. They have worked many hours to prepare for this major event in their education. Join these music students at their recitals to enjoy all that they have worked towards so far in their music educations.

Senior Elizabeth Turner has been playing piano for 16 years and drums for 13 years.

For her recital she has prepared numerous pieces that incorporate the piano, marimba, timpani, and other percussion equipment.

This is Turner’s senior capstone, and she has practiced a few hours every day to prepare for this recital. Music is important to Turner because it is an outlet for her. She explains that music can touch the lives of many people and it puts people in a better mood. After graduation she plans to move to Chicago to pursue her music career. Currently she is part of an indie rock band that is recording an album and plans on touring the Midwest.

Turner’s recital will take place on March 23 at 5 p.m. in Gallagher Hall.

Jenna Adams is also currently a senior.

She has been playing piano for 17 years and clarinet for 12 years. Adams learned her first organ piece when she was 18, and is starting to learn classical guitar. She has prepared pieces for her recital that include the organ and guitar. Adams will also be playing an organ and piano duet with her mother.

“I want everyone to understand that this is not your typical grandma’s church’s organ music,” said Adams. “I hope to express that organ music doesn’t have to be slow and boring and only played in church. Organ music has a very rich history and there are thousands of beautiful works that bring new light to such an old instrument. Many of the works have been composed for sacred purposes, which reflects how the organ has traditionally been used for sacred purposes.”

Music is very important to Adams. She has found a lot of meaning in music, and music can express emotions in a vastly more vivid manner than words could ever attempt. After graduation Adams is looking to go to the Des Moines, IA area. She plans on teaching piano lessons, playing at church, and directing the New Horizons band in Indianola, IA. Adams will perform on April 6 at 2 p.m. in Church of the Nativity.

Rachel Timmerman is a junior. She has been playing piano since second grade but did not start singing till later in life. Timmerman started performing solos in high school and then became more active with singing in college. At Timmerman’s recital with Anne Spoden, she will be singing pieces in Italian, French, and English. She will also be performing a couple of piano pieces. Timmerman has stuck with music for so long because it is her passion. She explained that it is

photos contributed

Elizabeth Turner, Anne Spoden, Rachel Timmerman, Jenna Adams, Emmalyne Smith and Julianna Bonfig have each worked since last semester on pieces for their recitals, many of which take place this weekend. one of the few things that she never gets tired of learning about. She loves passing on her musical knowledge to others, especially when she teaches piano lessons. Timmerman plans on graduating in May of 2015 with a music education degree and hopes to get a job in this field.

There will also be snacks provided after her recital which will take place on March 22 at 1 p.m. in Gallagher Hall.

Anne Spoden is a junior. She has been singing her whole life, but really got serious about singing when she was in high school.

Spoden has also been playing piano since she was six years old; however, she will not be performing any piano pieces at her recital with Rachel Timmerman. Spoden will be singing selections in Italian, German, and English. She loves everything about music.

She loves the sound, the emotion, and the beauty of music. Spoden would like everyone to come enjoy the music that she is performing and experience the beauty of music.

After graduation Anne plans on being hap-

py and successful with whatever she does, whether she goes to grad school, gets her teaching license, or stays in Dubuque.

Spoden will be performing on March 22 at 1 p.m. in Gallagher Hall with Timmerman.

Julianna Bonfig is a junior this year. Her mother taught her how to play the piano in third grade, and also taught her how to sing by singing the oldies in the car. She has been playing the trumpet since fourth grade. Bonfig will be playing many pieces at her recital with Emmalyne Smith that include singing, piano, and trumpet. She will be performing a wide genre of music that includes things from J.S. Bach and Mozart to Fiddler on the Roof. Bonfig would encourage anyone who is familiar with any of the genres of music to attend. She believes that music is one of the best therapeutic tools, and that there is a style of music that is perfect for every situation and mood that one experiences in life.

Some of her most cherished moments have been through the opportunities that music has given her.

After graduation Bonfig plans on furthering her education in music to become a music therapist. She would like to give to others by sharing with others the gift that was given to her, and would love to do this by working in a Children’s Hospital or work with patients with Alzheimer’s.

Bonfig will perform on March 23 at 1 p.m. in Gallagher Hall.

Emmalyne Smith is a junior at Loras College. She has played piano since first grade, but has only been singing since freshman year of high school. Smith has prepared songs in Italian, English, and a couple of musical theatre pieces at her recital with Julianna Bonfig. Smith said this is not a pop concert so don’t expect that. It involves many technical pieces that show off our talents. Music has always been part of her life, and she did not want lose that part of her life while in college.

After graduation she currently does not have any definite plans.

Her recital will take place on March 23 at 1 p.m. in Gallagher Hall.

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News

The Lorian March 20, 2014

Grammy Award-winning South African choir performs at Heritage Center

by SEABELO MONTWEDI | staff writer

On Mar. 12, Dubuque was graced with the presence of Grammy Award-winning South African choir, Soweto Gospel Choir. The live performance at the Heritage Center at the University of Dubuque was the only Iowa stop on an 11-week tour celebrating 10 years of performing in North America.

Soweto Gospel Choir was formed in Nov. of 2002 and released its first album, “Voice of Heaven,” a month later.

The 24-strong choir, under the direction of Beverly Bryer, draws on the best talent from the many churches in and around Soweto; Soweto (South Western Townships) is the name of a South African township where the choir originates. The township is the home of many South African celebrities, including the late former president, Nelson Mandela.

Before the concert, the University of Dubuque hosted a pre-show lecture. Two members of the choir presented a brief history of the choir and took questions from the audience. In his presentation, Shimmy Jiyane, who is the choreographer and choir master, explained that

The Sowerto Gospel Choir performed March 12 at the University of Dubuque’s Heritage Center.

the choir prided itself in its ability to incorporate all types of music into their performances while still keeping the element of culture.

“There are many types of music produced in South Africa, and we incorporate all these types in our songs,” said Jiyane. “But what gives us a worldwide edge is the incorporation of culture into our performances. Wherever we go, we showcase South African culture while staying relevant to our fans’ tastes.”

He went on to say that the basic rhythm of their songs is the drum. Most of the songs they record are songs that have been around for years.

“With most songs, we rearrange the songs, change the melody, and add the drums to get the Soweto flavor,” said Jiyane.

The concert began with an energetic song called “Hayo Mathata,” meaning, “where there is God, there is peace.” Although the concert was not Dubuque’s usual cup of tea, the choir was sure to involve the audience in the performances. One song was a fun competition between the men and women, leaving it up

photos by SEABELO MONTWEDI

Members of the choir showcase South African culture to their audience. Their performance was dedicated to the late former president of South Africa, Nelson Mandela. to the audience to decide on the winner.

Though most of the songs were unfamiliar to the audience, the choir did sing a few songs the audience could recognize: “Bridge over Troubled Water” by Paul Simon, “Angel” by Sarah McLachlan, and “Pata Pata” by the famous South African singer, Miriam Makeba.

Toward the end of the concert, the choir engaged the audience in a calland-response session that required the audience to stand on their feet and clap rhythmically to the sound of the drums.

As the concert was dedicated to the late former president of South Africa, Nelson Mandela, the choir sang Asimbonanga/Biko, a song which means that no one saw what Nelson Mandela went

through when he was imprisoned in Robben Island, but his contribution to South Africa’s independence will never be forgotten.

Before closing the concert, Jiyane thanked the audience for coming and for celebrating their 10 years of performing in North America with them. The concert closed with the South African national anthem.

Like one musician said, “Music unites people even if they speak different languages.”

The Soweto Gospel Choir gave the audience many moments where they may not have understood the words, but they still sensed the importance of the moment.

News

The Lorian

March 20, 2014

Timeless The purpose behind DM music ‘has no boundaries’

by BRIE PUMILIA | for the lorian

Loras Jazz and Wind Ensembles team up with the New Horizons Band for a relaxing night of music

by ANDREA BERNS | staff writer

The Loras Jazz and Wind Ensembles joined forces with the New Horizons Band to produce a relaxing night of music. The Mid-Winter Instrumental Concert began at 7:30 pm last Saturday in the Fieldhouse.

The New Horizons Band, an ensemble of local musicians ranging from the ages of 50 to 80 years old, kicked off the night with a piece entitled “Curtain Call Overture.” The next piece, “Hosanna Fugue” from Requiem No. 5, was arranged by a tuba player from this ensemble, Gregg Marolf, who conducted the group for the piece.

The night’s atmosphere then transitioned from perfected classical pieces to a more laid-back, relaxed atmosphere when the Jazz Ensemble came into view. They began with a song called “Night Rider,” featuring a phenomenal solo by first-year Peter Novak on saxophone. The next piece, St. Louis Blues, featured solos by firstyear Blake Hussey on saxophone and senior Joel Pohland on trombone. This section of the night also featured junior Anne Spoden on vocals for a whimsical piece called “Blue Skies” and an arrangement of “Man in the Mirror” with a solo by senior Melissa Kula on Alto Sax. Next in line was the Wind Ensemble, beginning with “Barnum and Bailey’s Favorite” by Karl King. Other songs featured a local French horn player, Wendy Hinman, and a guest conductor from the University of Dubuque, Nicholas Bratcher. The highlight of this section, however, was “Overture to the Barber of Seville,” a light, almost humorous piece that surfaces to mind an image of the snipping of scissors.

“It was a very difficult piece for every instrument,” said senior clarinetist Jenna Adams. “And we only had four rehearsals to put it together. But it was absolutely worth it.”

All ensembles joined at the end to play a medley of selections from The Sound of Music and ended the night with a piece entitled “The Great Locomotive Chase,” which involved the instruments creating sound effects to sound like a powerful train slowly speeding up.

The concert was very well-received by the audience, who gave the musicians a standing ovation. Popular selections were the powerful ending piece and the songs by the Jazz ensemble. The musicians themselves especially enjoyed performing with the New Horizons Band.

“Performing with them was really eye-opening,” said senior flutist Rebecca See. “It was really fun to play with people who have been playing for years.”

Dr. Glenn Pohland, Loras’ director of instrumental music, held similar sentiments.

“It was a real pleasure to watch our students interact with the New Horizons Band,” said Pohland. “It shows that music has no boundaries. Whether you are 19 or 80, we all have the same purpose. We did this together, which is a rewarding thing in an event like this.

It shows our audience that our music is, indeed, timeless.”

The number has been put out there: $200,000; and while it would make Loras the first school of its size to reach an amount that high, there is more to be proud of than simply monetary gain.

The mission of Duhawk Dance Marathon is to support local families who have been involved with the University of Iowa Children’s Hospital. While the funds and recognition have put Loras on top, it is our Miracle Kiddos who are our real motivation for everything we do. Because of that, we would like to introduce you to one and share his story.

Caleb Lee is our newest Miracle Kiddo to join the Duhawk DM family. When Caleb was almost three he was diagnosed with AML (Acute Myeloid Leukemia), a type of Leukemia not often seen in children.

by COLIN HALBMAIER | co-executive editor

Make plans to see the unplanned this weekend as the Loras Players present DuProv, an improvised comedy show. This is the first time the Loras Players have done an improvised show in many years, as two teams compete for the most laughs on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. The French Toast Mafia and Scriptonite are made up of actors, new and old, who have been studying the art of improv for the past month and a half.

The preparation for the show hasn’t been what many members of the group are used when working under director Doug Donald. Each team has spent their rehearsals at their own discretion, focusing heavily on small activities and learning the rules of improv instead of memorizing lines and rehearsing stage directions.

With many pokes, bone marrow biopsies, chemotherapy treatments, and a surgery to put a port in his chest, Caleb was very brave while spending 111 days at the hospital. Doctors then told the Lee family that Caleb would need a bone marrow transplant, and luckily there was a match in their family: Caleb’s fiveyear-old brother, Isaac. On Sept. 7, 2012 Isaac donated his bone marrow to his brother.

Today, Caleb is cancer free.

He is an energetic four-year-old who loves Scooby-doo and the Hawkeyes. His family said that Dance Marathon made a phenomenal impact on their family during their hospital stays, and they are excited to be a part of their first Duhawk DM on April 26.

This is only a little bit about Caleb, and the DM family would love for the Loras community to meet and dance with him on April 26.

To register, go to www.loras.edu/dm.

While there will be several sketch comedy routines performed, the show will largely be as much of a surprise to the audience as it is to the actors.

Judges will be present to “score” the actors, giving the show a competitive edge that has sparked an advertising campaign on Facebook that will give the winning team a head start.

The French Toast Mafia and Scriptonite will perform this weekend, with show times on Friday and Saturday at 7:30 p.m., and Sunday at 2 p.m. The performance is free for Loras affiliated and $5 for the general public.

photo contributed

French Toast Mafia, one of the two teams competing for laughs in Duprov this weekend, lives up to its name.

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photo contributed

Caleb Lee, the newest Miracle Kid to join with Duhawk DM, and his own family sport their “Beat Cancer” shirts.

Meet the Regents: Thomas McCarty

by ANDREA BERNS | staff writer

Thomas McCarty graduated from Loras in 1963 with a degree in Business. He then went on to graduate school to attain an MBA. “When I left Loras … I found I was well-prepared,” said McCarty. “When I went into the business world, [my liberal arts background] gave me a broad perspective and helped me with communication skills.”

In 1986, McCarty began working with Accenture, a management consulting company, as the managing partner for Asia Pacific.

He spent 14 years in Tokyo and Hong Kong, working with 12 countries including Australia, New Zealand, Indonesia, and Iran.

Throughout these years, McCarty had always stayed active in contributing to the Loras community, which granted him the opportunity to be a member of the Board of Regents in February 1999. His duties involve being on the executive committee and the finance committee as well as the audit committee.

He continues to be a significant contributor to the college even after his retirement from the business world in 2000.

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The Lorian

Features

March 20, 2014

Frozen Skates Through Box Offices

by NINO ERBA | staff writer

Note: Frozen is out now on DVD, so grab this Disney hit before the shelves become bare!

It’s as if a bolt of lightning came down from the sky and electrified Disney. Could it be the involvement of Pixar stalwart John Lasseter? Could it be the increasingly serious competition from companies such as Dreamworks? Whatever the circumstances, Disney is on its best winning streak since the 90s. Frozen continues that string with some help from the real-life winter horrors we’ve encountered this year.

Loosely based on Hans Christen Andersen’s “The Snow Queen,” the film focuses on two royal sisters. Elsa (voiced

by Idina Menzel) possesses the power to create snow and ice, but lives most of her life in fear after accidentally injuring her sister when they’re young. After a ceremony to crown Elsa goes awry, she flees the kingdom, putting the entire land into a permanent winter in the process. Her sister, Anna (voiced

by Kristen Bell), goes after her in hopes that the winter can be broken. What follows is a rather unconventional (by Disney standards) examination of family, love and acceptance.

In a way, the Disney Renaissance has been updated for the Millennial Age. The animation is remarkable, even though the people and animals look far from realistic. The songs work in the movie’s favor, and (in a relative rarity for pop music these days) Menzel’s big number “Let It Go” has hit the Top 10.

Most importantly, the relationships and portrayals of women are ideal for an audience that grew up with more empowered Disney princesses and female role models in general.

Frozen has other virtues as well. The cast is terrific, but the true scene stealer is Olaf, a walking and talking snowman clueless about heat and summer but is extremely nice and means well. Voiced by Josh Gad (The Book of Mormon), Olaf explains

The Lorian

March 20, 2014

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Foster the People Shoots for Superstardom, Falls Short

his far-fetched yearning for summer in the number “In Summer” that showcases his stellar pipes. The rest of cast are also good singers, though Jonathon Groff (who is a Broadway star who also appeared on Glee, same as Menzel) has a song that’s a complete throwaway and Menzel’s voice is an acquired taste.

Some critics have given the movie lavish praise, but compared to Tangled, it’s no second coming of Beauty and the Beast. Frozen is far from perfect. Without spoiling anything, a plot thread involving a supposed love interest goes in a direction that isn’t the best possible solution for the story. A conniving character from another land is underdeveloped and is a missed opportunity as a villain.

However, credit should be given where it’s due; Frozen keeps Disney’s momentum going. With Tangled and Wreck-It Ralph under its belt, the expectations for the next movie, Big Hero 6, should be high.

Sometimes the same old tricks don’t lead to the same pumped up kicks

by STEPHANIE LAGRANT | staff writer

Three years after they first sang about “all the other kids with their pumped up kicks,” Foster the People are back on the scene with their highly anticipated second album, Supermodel. The band’s sound has not changed much from their debut, Torches, but their sophomore record takes that sound and makes it a bit glossier, though with less punch. The formula has not changed much from the first album, but in spite of (and because of) this, Supermodel is a lesser album than its predecessor.

A concern about the record is the absence of smash singles that can be played on mainstream radio, like “Pumped Up Kicks” and even the underrated “Helena Beat” were in the summer of 2011.

Supermodel’s offerings appeal more to indie radio stations, but Foster the People’s mainstream success will remain a thing of the past. “Coming of Age,” is a relatively weak lead single that’s not going to enchant listeners the way the cheery (but dark) “Pumped Up Kicks” did. The album’s second single, “Best Friend,” is a much better song, but it won’t put Foster the People back on the Billboard Hot 100.

The first and last tracks of Supermodel are also its best. Despite its Vampire Weekend sound and Ezra Koenig-inspired lyrics, opening song “Are You What You Want to Be?” encapsulates the elements that have made Foster the People such a premiere indie band and set high expectations that very little of the rest of album ever matches. The final track, the stripped-down “Fire Escape,” is a nice break from the neo-psychedelia of the other tracks. The track’s lovely lyrics and acoustic feel make it a great closing song, even though it doesn’t fit the formula of the rest of the album. “Fire

Don’t Sweat It

Escape” is something you’d expect to find on a Bright Eyes album, and it’s pretty experimental for an indie-dance band like Foster the People. More songs that dare to ditch the formula the way “Fire Escape” does would have improved this album greatly.

Supermodel is entertaining, but Foster the People don’t stray from the formula that made their debut album a success.

It’s hard not to think back to Torches while listening to Supermodel because the two are extremely similar, but the latter feels tired. When Supermodel is at its best, it perfectly balances the indie-dance-pop equation that Foster the People have fashioned into their identity. Instead of something new, the album feels like a rehash of Torches combined with ditched MGMT b-sides (“Pseudologia Fantastica”). Supermodel is not a bad album, but another album release like this could bring the downfall of the band. Foster the People fail to think outside the box on this record; the kicker is that it’s a box they built themselves.

Foster the People’s sophomore album is merely good; had the band dared to experiment and venture to new artistic highs, perhaps it could have been great.

Rating: 7/10 Key tracks: “Are You What You Want to Be?,” “Best Friend,” “Fire Escape” Recommended if you like: MGMT, Passion Pit

‘Leven Things to Know About Your Dreams

Getting Back in Shape for the Summer

by MYCHOLE PRICE | staff writer

by CASSIE BUSCH | news editor

As spring rolls around, many of us are thinking about getting in shape for the summer. That means more workouts, more salads, and drinking more water. However, it is important to make sure that you are fueling yourself properly to compensate for all this extra work you’re doing. If you want to get the maximum results from your workout, it’s important to make sure that you are putting the right foods in before and after your sweat session.

Carbs are generally a great thing to include in your pre-workout snack or meal. A mix of simple and complex carbohydrates will give you the energy to power through your workout without getting fatigued as quickly. Simple carbs include things like fruit, cereal, white bread or pasta. Fruit is probably one of the best options, because it has beneficial vitamins and minerals. Complex carbs include foods such as vegetables and whole grains. Either of those would be a good option, but if you are doing an activity that will keep you moving vigorously, the whole grains might be a better pick, because the fibrous vegetables could possibly lead to an upset stomach.

Some examples of pre-workout snacks or meals could include Greek yogurt with granola, a fruit smoothie, peanut butter and banana toast, brown rice with a few vegetables mixed in, oatmeal with blueberries, a whole wheat bagel, or a piece of fruit. It’s best to eat these snacks or small meals 45 minutes before your actual workout, to give your body enough time to digest them. You should wait even longer if it was a large meal.

Fueling post-workout is just as important. You put the work in, and what you eat after is important to get the most out of your effort.

A mixture of protein and carbs will refuel your body and help your muscles recover from a strenuous workout. Some examples of great recovery options are grilled chicken with vegetables, pita bread and hummus, an omelet, fish, or a sweet potato. It may be tempted to reward yourself with rich, higher-calorie food for your hard work, but it will be worth it in the long run to stick with healthier options that will maximize the benefits of the time you just put in.

And finally, once again, water is a key to a successful workout, before and after. It’s easy to get dehydrated while working out for an extended period of time, especially if it is outdoors in the heat. Even if you are inside or braving the cold weather, water is just as important.

Make sure to drink plenty throughout the day to keep yourself feeling well. It may be tempting to skip the pre- or post-workout preparations, but they are so important to maximizing your efforts for a great workout.

Features

Reviewers are going

by COLIN HALBMAIER | bananas for Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze, released late last month for the Nintendo Wii U. The game is the fifth installment in the Donkey Kong Country series, which began in 1994 for the Super Nintendo Entertainment System and was most recently rebooted for the Nintendo Wii in 2010. A foreign group of penguins known as Snowmads have frozen the Kongs’ island and exiled the family. It’s up to Donkey Kong and his three companions—Diddy, Dixie, and Cranky Kong— to island hop their way back to the Snowmads and take their island back.

There’s a lot to be happy about in the latest installment of the Donkey Kong Country series.

The gameplay is everything you’d come to expect from the series—side-scrolling adventures across all terrains, including underwater vessels, mine cart races, and barrel rockets through the sky.

Donkey Kong is present at all times, with his sidekicks rotating in with their own sets of powers: Diddy Kong with his jetpack and peanut popgun, Dixie Kong with her bubble gum and p o n y tail, and the newly playable Cranky Kong, who throws his dentures and uses his cane as a pogo stick. Fans of the original games will recognize remixed tracks of old favorites alongside new ones, arranged by composer David Wise. The game takes players across several islands with varying themes, including a safari, a harvest, and a windmill town, each complete with hidden exits, collectibles, and boss battles.

As far as gameplay goes, Tropical Freeze can be as rewarding as it is challenging. Difficulty levels range from beginner to pro, but frequent checkpoints and extra lives make the damage to your sanity minimal.

For veteran players, collectible letters and puzzle pieces are hidden throughout each level, but are not necessary to complete the game. Secret exits leading to new levels will keep players returning to each location time and time again. Online Time Trials also make an appearance, allowing you to compare your best runs with those of people around the world. If you’re looking for something to do with your roommate or friend, look no farther. The game’s two-player mode lets someone control each character and work through the levels. Be careful though—some points will take careful teamwork to succeed.

But just because the game is challenging does not mean it is poorly made—quite the opposite, actually. Tropical Freeze bears the Nintendo Seal of Approval proudly, with the same solid quality that can be expected from the company’s other offerings.

For Donkey Kong Country fans old or new, Tropical Freeze is Nintendo’s musthave game of the season.

In a time when the company is struggling financially, it’s refreshing to see something old and yet so new break onto the scene. It’s only a sign of things to come—Mario Kart 8 is expected to hit the shelves in May, with Super Smash Bros. for Wii U and 3DS coming later in the year. Grab your controller and join the Kong-a line to fun—Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze is as fun as a barrel of monkeys.

co-executive editor

A day doesn’t go by that I don’t interpret someone’s dream. There are guides online to give you insights into what is going on in your head. Sometimes dreams have intricate meanings that are meant to help you in reality, while others just seem a bit too out there to mean anything at all.

So here are eleven, out of the many, things to know about your dreams.

1. Dreaming about a snake can be interpreted many ways.

Snakes are a masculine symbol and when women dream about snakes it could mean they are yearning for a connection with another person. Opposites attract. Depending on the number and the situation, snakes can take on anything from anxiety, feeling the need for escape or even intimacy.

2. Dreaming about being naked can mean you are extremely open and wish to have everyone see you for who you really are. Being half naked means that you are living a different life than you actually feel.

3. A recurring dream can actually mean two things. The first one is usually a memory that you haven’t coped with even if you don’t remember the situation. They tend to be shocking in nature. Once you realize the meaning, they will never return. The second meaning is that you are hiding something about yourself. Denying who you are does a lot

to your mind; it’ll escape, one way or another.

4. Having intense dreams about another person is fairly common and extremely discomforting to some. Having a dream revolving around intimacy with another person that you know personally can mean multiple things. You have a strong relationship with this other person, or you yourself desire to have this person in your life more and it could mean that you have strong emotions that can mean anything from anger to happiness.

5. Dreaming about dying is frightening. Some cultures believe if you dream about a particular person dying, you could be feeling the relationship with them waning. Dying can symbolize rebirth.

6. Dreaming of being pregnant means you are learning new things about yourself and accepting this new life. It can also mean you have a desire to follow a new path and take on responsibilities. It also depends on if you want the child or not.

7. Running away is a classic dream we all have. It depends on where we’re going and who we’re running from. If you’re running towards something than you are persistent and have determination to go after what you want, running away from something can be a fear of confronting a problem.

by NINO ERBA | staff writer

Back in the 60s, there was an animated show called The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show, which has become a classic.

One of the show’s segments was Peabody’s Improbably History, which introduced Mr. Peabody and Sherman to the world. Now they’re back for a feature length movie, and it’s a fun distraction while it’s playing.

Mr. Peabody (voiced by Ty Burrell) is a super genius who also happens to be a dog. Together with his adopted son, Sherman, they travel through time to experience history firsthand. They run into danger numerous times, but there’s no time more dangerous than the present. When Sherman gets into a fight with a classmate named Penny, they try to make up by inviting her and her parents over for dinner.

However, Penny gets sent back in time and Mr. Peabody and Sherman go to get her back, only to have time bent out of shape. All of this is happening while Mr. Pea body has to prove to a social worker (voiced by Alison Janney) that he’s a proper student.

8. Losing a body part of any kind from teeth to a limb in reality is unfortunate. But in dreams can mean much more. Teeth crumbling or falling out can mean a loss of control over your situation or having a great fear that you hold within you. It can also mean you’re lying about something and regretting it.

9. Dreaming of flying is wrapped in many different webs of truth. Flying can indicate your desire to be free or that you’ve finally let go. It also is believed to mean your soul is traveling and you’re going to wherever you need to go, you’re reaching a higher realm of spirituality.

10. Dreaming of a scary creature such as a demon or something you think of as demonic can mean you are fighting the darkness within you. You’re having nightmares because you aren’t allowing yourself to be who you are supposed to be. It can also mean that the fear of not understanding whatever is happening in your life is really affecting you.

11. Dreaming about SpongeBob riding a purple hippo in the desert means you are just thinking too much about a meaning. Having a random dream with many images can be your mind just trying to relax. Dreams don’t always mean something.

As you can tell, the plot for this movie is quite convoluted.

Nevertheless, the movie has its plus sides. The animation is colorful and entertaining. It’s nice to hear pros behind the mic, especially when you have comedians like Stephen Colbert lend his talents. The star, however, is Ty Burrell.

His smooth voice lends itself well to Mr. Peabody, and he’s able to give the hyper intelligent dog a personality, which always help.

In another time, this movie could get a good rating.

However, it pales in comparison to The Lego Movie, which showed tremendous heart, has set the bar for 2014; it’s the kind of movie that Pixar needs to make to regain its footing.

Mr. Peabody and Sherman, meanwhile, has fun moments but lacks the same resonance.

6

The Lorian

Opinion

March 20, 2014

Dr. Mike Boyd, director of the Counseling Center is here to answer student questions. Send questions or comments to Dr. Mike, Loras Box 100, or to the e-mail address michael.boyd@loras.edu. All names of those sending questions will be kept confidential.

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do Hey Mike: How do you get over someone that you really loved, but you both decided that you should not be together? I have so many happy memories of us together, but I also have hurt feelings. I still love him, but really want to move on....but how? Time is not helping.

—What To Do?

Mike says:

Bo

Hey Mike: I was born Catholic, raised Catholic, and went to Catholic schools.

So why don’t I believe in God? Why don’t I pray and why do I think religion is mostly crap? Loras is Catholic, right? But there are many other religions in the world. Which one is the right one? How can one say Catholicism is right? It seems that the religion in some countries is war and killing, such as Osama Bin Laden’s Islam. Catholics believe God made all of us, and all things, but it’s nature that made everything. Scientific theory is more believable that God. I’m starting to lean toward “THE NOTHING” rather than being part of the culture at Loras.

— Unbeliever

o d y lo

Mike says:

First off, let me say, as I have said in the past, that I am not the best person to take these types of questions to. But with these questions, it is often easier to go to someone a bit more anonymous. I too was born and raised Catholic and went to Catholic schools, including Loras. And I have struggled with some of what you bring up. That said, there is much to be admired in the Catholic Church and Loras’ heritage in Catholicism adds to its strength. However, all of those dispositions in the mission statement are important for anyone, Catholic, other Christian, Jew, Muslim, Hindu or any of many other belief systems, including atheism.

When you were young, your parents and teachers used stories about God and creation to help you understand and learn. But now you are older. You can understand evolution and other ideas that seem to contradict these earlier stories. Right now you have many questions, and actually that is good. Theology is sometimes called a study of questions. Do not worry about the answers yet. Work on doing well in all of your studies in college and, as part of that, work on developing a new, adult relationship with God, science or whatever name by which you come to accept.

gy

Oh my, this is the hard part of being a human. People should be tattooed “The Surgeon General has determined that entering into a relationship with any person may be hazardous to your health.” So some part of you chose to, or at least agreed to break up, but other parts of you mourn the loss. My dear, relationships end, sometimes in old age when a partner dies, and sometimes when you wish otherwise. That is one thing that is true about living on this world. Another thing is that we seek and are only truly happy when in a good relationship.

If both of you decided to break up and, especially if he has moved on, get over this time and be stronger in the future by starting to pay attention to those times when you feel most unhappy. What are you saying to yourself? If you are saying things that are self-critical (I’m a witch, etc.) or dependent (I can’t manage alone, etc.) then change the message. Get away from the labels and criticisms and focus on positive attributes. And give it time. Even more important, do not give in to isolating yourself so you can really feel your pain. Be involved with friends and organizations.

Finally, do not fool yourself into pining for his return. Stay away from him. Being around him will only prolong the pain and prevent you from moving on. Meet other people and be open to beginning new friendships.

If you are still blue in a few weeks, see someone.

God?

Faces of traveling: Shattered ‘American Dream’ Tapas. Tapas are what brought this story’s main character and I together.

As if the Spanish appetizers weren’t enough incentive to taxi across town to a cozy flat, not knowing 15 of the 16 other attendees at this tapas party meant I’d meet new people.

Everyone was friendly, per usual, and I received Kalli Miner countless kisses on the cheeks as the typical Portuguese ritual ensued, and though I’m quite certain that there was only one Portuguese person at this gathering, we’ve all by now taken a liking to this ice-breaking part of the culture.

But of all of those greetings that night, there is one in particular that stands out, even now, weeks later. One particularly tall Italian man named Luca greeted me and upon being told I was American gripped my shoulders and held me out like a trophy saying “Wow!” followed by an amazed clasping of his hand over his mouth.

I’ve heard a lot of reactions from people upon revealing I’m American, things like: “Oh no kidding, so you don’t speak any other languages do you?” or, “so do you know where my country is on the map?” and even, “so tell me about your health care system.”

To most of these I tried to hide my sarcastic ‘nice to meet you too’ face.

But, on this night I experienced something delightfully different. For the next couple of hours and over raw pickled fish, Luca told me about his dream of studying in the States and maybe even working there

‘MINER’ DOUBLE TAKE

photo contributed

Luca, an Italian student studying architecture, shared with Kalli his childhood dream of studying and working in America. The cost of higher education and the difficulty in acquiring a visa has made this goal difficult to achieve. one day.

As an aspiring architect nearly done with his degree, I assured him that one day I’d be meeting up with him in Chicago. But, to my surprise his child-like big toothed smile broke and he silently looked down. I knew something was up, I had struck a nerve, and I’d make a point to ask him about it later, maybe when fewer people were around.

Letters to the editor are welcomed Do you have an opinion on something and want to write a “letter to the editor?” Do you have more questions about an article you read? Corrections or clarifications? A differing opinion about an issue brought up that you want to be heard?

We want your input.

To submit a “letter to the editor,” please e-mail us at mary.agnoli@loras.edu or colin.halbmaier@loras.edu.

Also, if you or an organization you are a part of is doing something noteworthy, or wants to get news out about an upcoming event, we also accept articles from guest writers as long as we are told a few days in advance.

So as the night ended, a group of us hurried down the yellow cobble stone to catch the last metro home. And, as we did a few of us fell behind chatting and I couldn’t help but notice that Luca, the faster walker and quietest traveler, was lagging just behind me his hands in his pockets looking as if he was waiting his turn to say something.

And, so he was (waiting to say something

that is). In a brief moment of silence he caught up to me on my right and sad quietly, “I have my own American dream you know, ever since I was a small boy I’ve known the American life was for me.” I said nothing, just nodded, and listened to him tell me about his attempts to attend university in the States, only to realize after being accepted that he would receive no financial aid for an education that was astronomically higher than he’d pay anywhere in Europe.

As we strolled he mentioned the possibility of maybe one day working in the States as an architect, modeling after one of his favorites, Dwyer. But, he wasn’t sure if he could even get a visa. “I don’t know if you know this, but it’s nearly impossible for us to work in the states, getting a visa is too hard, even though I know there is work for us,” he said.

“I’ve even tried for the visa lottery, but didn’t get it, I’m hoping to get in 2015 though,” he explained.

Days passed and it took me while to figure out why I couldn’t forget this kid, but I realized it was because there was no way for me to help him. Somebody studying social work and peace & justice seeks to help people more than anything, but my hands were tied for the time being. I wished in those moments that I could change two things: our higher education system and our immigration policy. I wished that the States weren’t just the land of opportunity, but the lands of equal opportunity.

I’ve seen Luca twice since that night and every time he shouts: “Ahh the American!”and hugs me tight like he’s embracing a piece of his lost childhood dreams. I hope that one day, though, I’ll be hugging him in the Windy City.

Editorial staff co-executive editor: MARY AGNOLI co-executive editor/features editor: COLIN HALBMAIER news editor: CASSANDRA BUSCH sports editor: RYAN GRAHAM advertising manager: MICHAEL ROVANSEK executive copy editor: HANNAH WAY

copy editors: KELSEY CALLAHAN MAGGIE DeGRAND ELLIE HORST STEPHANIE LaGRANT ABBY LANTSKY MARGARET SENTOVICH SAMANTHA VATH KAITLIN YAHR moderator: TIM MANNING

Sports

The Lorian

March 20, 2014

7

Loras looks to rebound from a slow start in March Baseball team is off to a 1-5 start as its enters conference play

by KATIE TRUESDALE | sportswriter

What looked like a promising weekend for the Duhawks turned into a long, disappointing drive home from Indiana on Saturday night.

The Duhawks’ first game of the weekend was against Wabash College on Saturday morning. The men started out strong, as sophomores Pat Walsh and Spencer Bonner scored the first two runs of the game.

Junior pitcher, Will Petrosky was solid to start the game, pitching a shutout through three innings. However, his shutout came to an end in the bottom of the fourth, as Wabash was able to break the game open with five runs in the inning.

In the top of the sixth, the Duhawks brought in another run from Walsh, making the score 6-3 in favor of Wabash.

The Duhawks would not be able to close the gap however, as Wabash would bring in three more runs, making the final score 9-3.

Against Wabash, Walsh and Bonner led the Duhawks in hits with three each. Senior Mike Pudlo, junior Danny Fahlgren and first-year Tony Heiser all chipped in with RBIs. The Duhawks’ second game came against Dominican University later that

afternoon. Similar to their game against the score at 7-6 Dominican.

Wabash, the Duhawks struck first blood as Against Dominican, the Duhawks were Walsh scored on a Dominican error in the led by senior Mark Jablonski who had bottom of the first. two RBIs and three In the top of the hits, two of which second, Dominican were doubles. Walsh “Our team just needs to responded with two contributed with two focus more. We all are runs of their own, doubles and two runs capitalizing on a Duof his own. capable of playing much hawk throwing error.

“Our team just better baseball than we Dominican would needs to focus more,” have shown. It stinks we bring in runs during said Petrosky. “We lost but we start conference the third and fourth all are capable of innings as well. playing much better now and I would rather It wasn’t until the baseball than we have lose less meaningful bottom of the fifth shown. It stinks we games now than lose that the Duhawks lost, but we start conmore in conference when would score again, as ference now, and I Walsh scored off anwould rather lose less it matters more. We may other Dominican ermeaningful games have started flat, but there ror, making the score now than lose more is no doubt in my mind we 5-2. in conference when will heat up any day now.”

After a Dominican it matters more. We run in the top of the may have started flat, Will Petrosky, sixth, the Duhawks but there is no doubt junior pitcher would score two runs in my mind we will in the bottom of the heat up any day now.” same inning. With The Duhawks are runs in both the seventh and eighth in- scheduled to compete against Wartburg nings, the Duhawks tied the score at sixes. College this upcoming weekend for their In the top of the ninth however, Domin- first conference match-up of the season. ican brought in one final run, making the “Overall I think we learned a lot from score 7-6. The Duhawks were unable to this weekend,” said first-year infielder score in the bottom of the ninth, leaving Luke Leibforth. “Obviously the outcome

‘‘

,,

was not what we hoped for but we need to move past these games and make sure the mistakes we made don’t happen in the future. We had a couple of mental errors on the bases and we need to get better with our two-out hits. With Wabash we had the momentum and scored the first runs of the game. When we do get the momentum of the game, we need to hold onto it and either take it to the field or to our upcoming at-bats. It’s still early in the season and I believe that things will start to fall our way sooner or later, that’s just the game of baseball.”

So far this season, Walsh leads the team in hits with nine and runs with five.

Jablonski is second in hits with seven and leads the team in RBIs with five. Bonner and senior Eric DeSousa have also chipped in with six hits on the season.

On the defensive side, Walsh also leads the team in pitching with a perfect 0.00 ERA, ten strikeouts and the Duhawks’ sole win of the season.

As a team, the Duhawks have struggled offensively. Their .240 batting average is second worst in the conference.

Despite this, the Duhawks are currently second in the Iowa Conference in pitching, with a 4.50 ERA. The Duhawks will look to get back on track as they prepare for their first conference action of the year.

Duhawks off to a solid start in spring ball Softball team is 4-4 as it prepares for Iowa Conference play

On the heels of a two-game winning streak, the Duhawks faced off against Wisconsin- Stout. The game went down to the wire but the Duhawks proved victorious by

by RYAN GRAHAM | sports editor After beginning the season on an 0-3 the score of 2-1. The winning run was scored slide, the Duhawks have won four out of in the fifth inning by Hoffmann off the bat their last five to bring their record to an even of sophomore Samantha Shindelar. On the defensive end, Klein picked up her second 4-4 on the season.

The Duhawks started slow out of the gates win of the year, pitching a complete game in their first game of the season against Wis- and striking out six batters.

Last weekend, the Duhawks traveled to consin-Eau Claire, a game they lost in five innings by the score of 14-1. The Duhawks Fulton, MO to play a double-header against Westminster College. In lone run of the game came the first game, the Duin the form of a solo-home hawks had the lead 5-1 run from senior Lara “I think we just need to after four and a half inMangialardi in the third break through with our nings, but Westminster inning. roared back, scoring five offense.

We’re a great The Duhawks made a runs to win better showing in the folhitting team and a force to unanswered the game 6-5.

Serpico lowing game against Gusbe reckoned with, but we lead the Duhawks in the tavus Adolphus, but still just need to start putting first game with two hits, came up short by the score one home run and four of 9-6. The Duhawks were a few hits together and RBIs. led in this game by sophodrive in more runs.”

In the teams’ second more Makaila Haase, who Katie Serpico, match-up, the Duhawks had three RBIs off of two junior catcher found themselves down hits, one of which was a soby two runs early, but lo-home run. Senior Alaina were able to recover and Rigdon also homered in the score six unanswered game.

In their third game of the season against runs to win the game 6-2. First-year DanSt. Norbert, the Duhawks’ defense began ielle Stromert lead the team in hits and runs to show signs of the struggles that plagued scored, while Rigdon lead the team with them in their first game of the season. Lor- three RBIs. Klein also picked up her third as was able to muster a respectable seven win of the year on the mound.

“We had some tough competition in runs, but was unable to contain St. Norbert’s offense, and the Duhawks lost 14-7. Rochester and we were still moving some Sophomores Kali Koopmann and Ashlee people around in different positions,” said Hoffmann both homered for the Duhawks, Serpico. “I think we had some first-game jitters too, but after we finally got a few games driving in three and two runs respectively.

The Duhawks got into the win column for under our belt and got into a groove with our the first time this season in their next game defense and offense, we were finally able to against Wisconsin-Stevens Point. The Du- put it all together.”

Despite finding themselves last in the hawks took the game by the score of 10-2, conference in team ERA and second-to-last thanks to a stellar pitching performance by junior Holly Klein, who got her first win of in batting average, the Duhawks are first in the season. The Duhawks were helped on the conference in team fielding, with a 97.7 the offensive end by Rigdon, junior Katie fielding percentage.

“I think we just need to break through Serpico and first-year Kat Angelini who all with our offense,” Serpico said. “We’re a contributed with two RBIs. Serpico also great hitting team and a force to be reckoned homered in the game.

The Duhawks would continue their win- with, but we just need to start putting a few ning ways against Wisconsin-River Falls. hits together and drive in more runs.”

Eight games into the season, Haase leads The Duhawks took the game 6-2, thanks to a stand-out performance by Haase, who put the the team in hits with eight and in RBIs with Duhawks ahead for good in the sixth inning ten. Haase is also tied Serpico and Rigdon with a grand-slam. Defensively, Mangialardi for the team lead in home runs with two.

Loras’ next game will take place this Sathad a strong performance, pitching a complete urday against Beloit College in Beloit, WI. game and collecting her first win of the year.

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8

The Lorian

March 20, 2014

Sports COACH’S CORNER

GM’s calling the kettle black GRAHAM SLAM

photos via DUHAWKS.COM

Sophomore James Buss leaps in to the arms of associate head coach Ryan Birt after becoming Loras’ first national champion since in 17 years.

‘Buss-ness’ as usual

In his semifinal match, Buss took on Chad Johnson of Augsburg, the two-time defending heavyweight Champion. Chad Johnson had topped Buss in the semi-finals in last year’s National Championship.

by BOO WOOD | sportswriter Buss came out strong, taking a 7-3 lead heading into the third Last Saturday, three Duhawks period. Johnson would record competed in the Division III Naa reversal late in the match but tional Championships. his last minute Senior Matsurge would not thew Holmes be enough to at 141 pounds, get past Buss. junior Steven In the upset of DeWitt at 157 the tournament, pounds, and Buss defeated sophomore Johnson 7-5, James Buss, a his first loss to heavyweight at a Division III 285 pounds, all wrestler in three traveled to Cedar years.

Rapids to comBuss’ win pete for a title. over Johnson Two of the sent him to the three Duhawks National Final began the weekwhere he would end with a win in take on his rival the first round.

Ryan Fank from Holmes started Wartburg. out with a victoBefore Buss’ ry over St. John’s Sophomore James Buss takes down an opponent during last weekend’s f i n al match, B e n H e n l e b y National Championships in Cedar Rapids. Buss finished his season with a Holmes took on a sc or e o f 9- 2 . nearly flawless record of 31-3.

W a y n e Black Dewitt faced off from Mount St. Joseph.

After against former teammate Josh Sophomore James three high scoring periods, Tardy from North Central in a Buss becomes a Holmes came out on top by a match would go into overtime.

National Champion by decision of 13-12, claiming sevThe match would end with a defeating Wartburg’s enth pace and ending his casudden victory by Tardy, who Ryan Fank in the finals. reer with a final record of 26-8. topped Dewitt with only a few Buss finished the year In the finals, Buss was able seconds left on in the period. with a 31-3 record. to convert an early shot by Buss, the third Duhawk to comFank into a take-down and finpete, picked up his first victory ished the first period up 2-0. In of the tournament by a score Senior Matthew Holmes the second period, Fank scored of 5-2 of Zack Gibson from St. wins two of his three a quick escape, leaving Buss up Olaf. matches at Nationals, by one going into the final peIn round two, Holmes faced earing him a seventhriod. off against the eventual Nationplace finish and Allal Champion, Kaleb Loht (48-1) Buss chose a neutral position American honors. from Messiah College. It was a to begin the third. With little Holmes finished with a tight match, Loht proved victotime remaining, Fank took a record of 26-8. rious 9-5, sending Holmes into shot that Buss was able to stop, the wrestle-backs. sealing the match and earning Junior Steven DeWitt Buss his first National ChamIn DeWitt’s wrestle-back wins one of his three pionship. Buss who finished match, he was pinned by Kyle matches. Despite not the season 31-3, is Loras’ first LeDuc of Concordia Mooreplacing in his weight champion since 1997. head, ending his outstanding class in the meet, season for the Duhawks. James The Duhawks finish their DeWitt finished with an Buss’ second round match was impressive season ranked No. impressive 29-6 record. against Cody Lovejoy (43-5) 10 in the nation.

Sophomore earns a national championship; Holmes earns All-American honors as the Duhawks stand out at big meet

from Ohio Northern. Buss dominated Lovejoy 5-0, sending him into the semi-finals.

In round three, Holmes came out on a mission to become an All-American. He took down Nathaniel Behnke from Wisconsin-Eau Claire 6-5, putting himself in position to automatically qualify as an All-American.

E

arlier this week, Indianapolis Colts owner and General Manager, Jim Irsay was arrested and charged with operating a vehicle while intoxicated, along with four counts of possession of a controlled substance. Irsay Ryan Graham isn’t the first NFL executive sports editor to be arrested in the past year. In fact, he’s just the tip of the iceberg.

Last summer, we had Tom Heckert, the Director of Pro Personnel for the Broncos and former GM for the Browns, get arrested for DUI. This came just days after Matt Russell, another Broncos executive, was arrested on DUI charges of his own. Last October, Jon Sandusky, the Cleveland Browns Director of Player Personnel was arrested for Suspicion of DUI. Last April, Browns owner Jimmy Haslam was investigated by the FBI and IRS for potential fraud charges.

And finally, Minnesota Vikings owner Zygi Wilf was found liable for fraud.

Apparently, Wilf scammed business partners out of their share of the profits on an apartment complex he co-owned in New Jersey.

I was surprised. I would have thought it had something to do with purposely employing Christian Ponder at his starting quarterback.

If you’re not seeing the irony yet, consider the fact that the NFL Draft is less than two months away. This is the time of year when collegiate players go through the evaluation process. They have their pro-days. They take part in the NFL combine. They get measured, tested and most importantly — interviewed.

Executives use these interviews to clear up any rumors about off-the-field issues. They want to be certain that a player doesn’t have any “character issues.” They have to ask all the important questions: from the unethical, “Are you gay?” to the wildly offensive “Is your mother a crack-selling prostitute?” to the downright ridiculous, “What kind of underwear to you prefer?” All of those questions have reportedly been asked of NFL prospects over the last couple years.

Because how can you trust a guy to be a stalwart on your team for the next ten years if he’s not even smart enough to choose Hanes over Jockey!? How could he miss the comfort flex waistbands!? Sounds like a bust to me.

To some extent, it’s hard to blame executives for their weird interrogation tactics. Nothing makes an executive look worse than drafting a player who turns out to be a bust. It’s a GM’s worst nightmare: one minute, you’re drafting the best quarterback in college football; and the next minute, he’s thirty pounds overweight, strung out on “purple drank” and you’re the laughing stock of the NFL. But with all of this concern over the “character” of players, you’d think these executives would take a moment to look in the mirror. How can a GM like Irsay spend hours at work, downgrading prospects for their “off-thefield issues,” and then after work, guzzle down fourteen beers and hop on the highway? Maybe I’m wrong. Judging by that mustache, maybe Jim is more of a scotch guy.

Either way, how can Irsay live with his hypocrisy? Say for example, an undrafted free agent who’s fighting for a spot on the Colts’ roster gets a DUI. That player would get cut in a second. Yet, when the owner of the team does the same exact thing — when he puts people’s lives at risk by driving drunk — there are no consequences. What’s he going to do, fire himself?

How is he going to be able to stand up to his players now? If one of his players gets in trouble with the law, how can he turn around and discipline that player? It’s basically like a teenager who gets caught smoking their parents’ cigarettes. “I learned it from watching you, Dad!” This whole situation is just seething with irony.

These are the men that NFL teams put in charge of evaluating the character of their players; the men who have the power to release a player if he gets in a scuffle with the law; the men who won’t draft a prospect, simply because they deem him a potential “distraction” to their team.

And yet, if the tables were turned — they probably wouldn’t draft themselves.