The Lowdown - 2013-03 March by The Lowdown

Vol.19, No. 03, 2013

March

KR10 / K10,000

The Eighth Day

Road Safety – An Oxymoron?

Muchinga Meander

Human Types

A Hour of Dark

What’s Happening

Star Gazer

Employment Sought

In The Garden

Insurance Scam or Genuine

Fool On The Hill

Error?

Mole In The Hole

Small Adverts

Can You Handle It?

Biz Zone

Front Cover Photograph: Frog, Livingstone, Southern Zambia, by Inger Gretland Editor: Heather Bender Chalcraft Layout & Design: Louann Chalcraft Published by: LH Publications Limited, Plot 8747, Buluwe Rd, Woodlands. PO Box 36666, Lusaka, Zambia. +260 211 266-353/266-287 editor@lowdownzambia.com www.lowdownzambia.com Winners of the 2011 Africast Tourism Journalist of the Year Award Advertising, Subscriptions and Distribution: ads@lowdownzambia.com Printed by: New Horizon Printing Press Ltd, PO Box 38871, Lusaka, Zambia. +260 211 236-637 1

The Eighth Day

I have been looking up some elements of Chinese culture that fascinate me since theirs is the oldest uninterrupted world tradition and found that “The number eight is viewed as such an auspicious number that any number with several eights is considered very lucky.” On March 8 Zambia officially recognises International Women’s Day - the 102nd anniversary, and superstition aside, the question in my mind was what measure of luck has influenced the status of women. Some aspects could include our known character as ‘a peaceful nation’ coupled with the general attitude of Zambian women themselves who tend to get on with business when and if their men-folk won’t – but, there is no doubt that we also owe a lot to the development of institutional support that has protected and upheld the rights of ordinary Zambian women. Currently, the Non-Governmental Organisations Coordinating Committee (NGOCC) boasts over more than 100 affiliate organisations. With the reintroduction of the multi-party system in 1991, women’s groups found themselves by far the majority of civil society organisations. The National Women’s Lobby Group (NWLG) and others such as Women for Change (WfC) and Women in Law in Southern Africa (WILSA) focused on the issues of imbalance in’ justice, redress and respect’ for women’s human rights. However, they were successful to large part because of the existence of much older

organisations, with country-wide networks established before Independence like the Young Women’s Christian Association (YWCA) which was formed in 1957 The primary teaching profession in Zambia, and nursing, actively encouraged female recruits. Deliberate policies to encourage girl-child education have been worked on by the Ministry of Education, donor agencies and non-governmental actors. In higher institutions of learning there have been instances where female students have been reimbursed tuition fees as they pass from one level to another. The more liberal churches have seen women rise to senior positions in the clergy. Historically a combination of quota, and positive discrimination has meant that we have significant female representation in our society. Zambian women are visible in institutions as varied as the media, art, sport, police, courts, banking systems, agriculture, engineering and the medical profession. But there is no need to be complacent. The idea of 50:50 representation is still a long way off for the country. Women parliamentarians still fall far short of the 30 percent SADC protocol and number varyingly between 11 to 15% of the 150 member house over the past five years. By the time girls reach the tertiary institutions of learning they are routinely outnumbered 4 to 1 by their male counterparts. And the full enjoyment of fundamental rights and freedoms of individuals leave much to be desired as evidenced by more accurate reporting on gender-based violence. So as we celebrate our gains with women and men of good will across the world, a thought to keep in mind is perhaps w[h] e are not quite at liberty yet to rest on the seventh day and in all we are actually down on our luck! 3

Muchinga Meander

Muchinga, the name of the escarpment which runs the length of Zambia’s eastern side, but now also the name of our latest Province, with Chinsali as its headquarters. Travellers to and from Nakonde and Tanzania would be forgiven for not knowing where Chinsali is, nestled as it is the hills sixteen kilometres off the Great North Road. The decision to reroute the road when it was tarred back in the 70’s has been detrimental to the economies of both Chinsali and its sister town Isoka, even if only the boost to their micro-economies that passing truck traffic brings. But Chinsali is a town which figured largely in pre-independent Zambia. As the birth place of our First President, Kenneth Kaunda and our First Prime Minister, Simon Mwansa Kapwepwe, it was also home to many of the nationalist stirrings which led to Independence in 1964. But the district was also home to Alice Lenshina and the Lumpa Church, and today the remains of Alice Lenshina lie in the Mausoleum at the site of the destroyed church, Sion, which her followers built. Fifty years on, few people know much about those sad days in Zambia’s history.* Chinsali town itself has not much to offer, it is no different to any number of small, remote Zambian towns where there are a sprinkling of shops selling everything from hardware to maize seed to salaula to kitchenware and CD’s of questionable origin and quality. Restaurants, Bars and Night

clubs abound should you find yourself in town for the night and wish to partake of the entertainment these establishments offer, you will have a number to choose from. And should you run short of cash, Finance Bank have a presence there, complete with ATM. Finding accommodation for the night however, could well be a completely different matter. Difficult at the best of times, we believe that all (or most) guest house accommodation has now been taken up by civil servants who have been posted to the town to set up the Provincial Administration. How long it is going to take before both office and residential accommodation is built is anybody’s guess. If you do have business to conduct in the town, we would recommend planning your trip so as to stay in Mpika and to travel to Chinsali for the day. It must be noted that at the present time, there is no fuel station in Chinsali. Indeed there is no fuel station between Mpika and

Nakonde so be sure to leave Mpika with sufficient fuel to get you back to the town or all the way to Nakonde. If you do find yourself in Chinsali with a few hours to spare take the road south out of town to Lubwa Mission. Not only is it the birth of KK but it is a beautiful old church built of burnt brick. Further along the same road, is Ilondola Mission, an old Catholic Mission with its even more beautiful church. Both places are worth to visit.

Chinsali District is also home to Chipoma Falls. These are a short five kilometres west of the Great North Road, 24 kilometres south of the Chinsali turnoff. * For further reading, A Time To Mourn by John Hudson and Blood On Their Hands by Kampamba Mulenga.

A Hour of Dark

It’s that time of the year again when citizens of the world are asked to spend one hour showing their support for climate change action, by turning off their lights. We all depend on energy, be it for cooking our food, charging our phones, running our computers or getting our morning cup of tea. Without energy, our lives as they are today would change radically and many of the things we take for granted today would become a schlep and a real challenge. Compared with our brothers and sisters in the western world, our energy usage in Zambia (and Africa) is relatively small. On a domestic level, we don’t, generally, have all the mod cons such as dishwashers and many people dry their washing in the sunshine rather than in a tumble drier. On a city level, the lack of streetlights is an enormous energy saver as are our warm winters. But that does not mean we should not get involved. For example, in Uganda, the world’s first Earth Hour Forest was allocated 2,700 hectares of land, challenging Ugandans to fill it with 500,000 trees to fight against the 6000 hectares of deforestation that occurs in the country every month. Standard Chartered Bank (250,000 trees), the Ugandan Minister of Water Environment (1,000 trees) and many individuals have taken on the challenge. In Botswana, Earth Hour Botswana coordinators Wena Environmental Education and News Trust, recently launched a project called ‘One Million

Trees - Plant For Life’ as part of Earth Hour’s ‘I Will If You Will’ campaign. The project will rehabilitate degraded lands through the planting of more than one million trees over four years in Botswana. Back home, WWF organised Earth Hour in Zambia and first officially took part in 2009. In 2010, WWF Zambia organised a march past which was attended by Zambia’s first president Dr. Kenneth Kaunda. A march past is hardly inspiring but they did a little better in 2011 when WWF Zambia partnered with Zambia Electricity Supply Corporation (ZESCO), Lafarge, Hotel Inter-continental, Pamodzi Hotel, Golden Bridge Hotel, Zambia National Broadcasting Corporation (ZNBC) and Radio Phoenix who donated free airtime to publicize Earth Hour. ZESCO’s ‘Switch Off and Save’ campaign educated the public on the need to conserve power to be more environmentally sustainable. In 2011 the three cities of Lusaka, Livingstone and Ndola switched off. Did we ever switch on, I ask? But I am the eternal optimist and hope that this year will see something better, something with a bit of pizzazz and flamboyance; something that will really drive the message home. What are your ideas? Post them on www. facebook.com/Earth.Hour.Zambia and let’s see if we can get this party going! For our part, and just as a start, we are going to ask ZESCO to send SMS’s to their clients reminding them of Earth Hour and asking them to participate by turning the lights off. And in the meantime, don’t forget to switch off on Saturday 23 March at 8.30 pm for one hour. Let’s all do our bit to help the planet!

Star Gazer The Sky in March

by Gwyn Thomas

Constellations

This group of constellations is prominent in the southern sky in late winter and spring, but are visible in the early evening in March in the Southern hemisphere. Hydra – the Water Snake -is to be found in the South Eastern Sky during March in the Early evening. It is the largest of the modern 88 constellations. It covers 100 degrees of the sky and its southern end touches Libra and Centaurus and the Northern end borders Cancer. There is only one really bright star in Hydrus – Alphard or Alpha Hydrae which is an Orange Giant of magnitude 2.00 and is 177 light years distant from Earth. Other Stars are Beta Hydrae and Gamma Hydrae Close to and abutting onto Hydra are the following constellations: Antlia – The pump a constellation in the southern sky. Its name means “pump” and it specifically represents an air pump. The constellation was created in the 18th century by Abbe Nicolas Louis de Lacaille from an undesignated region of sky, so the stars comprising Antlia are faint. Antlia is bordered by Hydra the sea snake, Pyxis the compass, Vela the sails, and Centaurus the centaur. NGC 2997, a spiral galaxy, and the Antlia Dwarf Galaxy lie within Antlia’s borders. Corvus – The Crow is a small constellation in the southern sky. It includes only 11 stars visible to the naked eye (brighter than magnitude 5.5). It was one of the 48 constellations listed by Ptolemy,

who only counted 7 stars and it remains one of the 88 modern constellations. It appears as a slightly lopsided kite with a little star off to the right. Crater – Cup Crater is a constellation. Its name is Latin for cup, and in Greek mythology it is identified with the cup of the god Apollo. It was one of the 48 constellations listed by the 2nd century astronomer Ptolemy, and remains one of the 88 modern constellations. It is faint, with no star brighter than third magnitude. Sextans – the Sextant Sextans is a minor equatorial constellation which was introduced in 1687 by Johannes Hevelius. Its name is Latin for the astronomical sextant, an instrument that Hevelius made frequent use of in his observations. Sextans 9

covers a rather dim, sparse region of the sky. It has only one star above the fifth magnitude, namely α Sextant is at 4.49m

visibility in January through March. The brightest star is Alpha Pyxidis at magnitude 3.68.

Pyxis – The compass is a small and faint constellation in the southern sky. Its name is Latin for a mariner’s compass (it should not be confused with Circinus, which represents a draftsman’s compasses). Pyxis is completely visible from latitudes south of 53 degrees north, with its best evening-sky

Pyxis was introduced by Nicolas Louis de Lacaille in the 18th century; he called it Pyxis Nautica, but the name was shortened. The constellation is located close to those forming the old constellation of Argo Navis (the ship Argo).

Diary of Astronomical Phenomena At present the Comet Lemmon (C/2012 F6) is passing the Celestial South Pole and will pass closest to the sun in late March.

During March the 5 major planets: • Mercury will move through the constellations Pisces into Aquarius and is visible in the early morning sky • Venus will move through Aquarius into Pisces and Cetus and is visible in the early morning. • Mars will be moving through Aquarius and into Pisces is visible in the morning sky • Jupiter is moving through Taurus and is visible in the evening sky • Saturn is moving through Libra and is visible in the early morning. Meteor Showers gamma Normids delta Pavonids

Visible Peak 25/02 - 22/03 13/03 11/03 - 16/04 06/04

Observing prospects for the gamma Normids are good during 2013, with New Moon on March 11. Recommended watch times are from 00:00 to 04:30 daily. 10

d 1 2 4 4 5 6 7 10

h 9 15 14 23 8 1 7 14

11 12 13 15

13 13 3 1

17 18

1 3

18 19

23 19

20 22 24 27 28 28 29 29 29 30

13 20 17 11 16 19 1 2 20 5

Event Spica near the Moon Saturn near the Moon Mercury at inferior conjunction Last Quarter Moon furthest south (-20.5°) Moon at perigee (369953 km) Mercury near Venus Neptune & Mercury near the Moon Venus near the New Moon Mars near the Moon Uranus near the Moon Saturn and its rings occults 9.2mag. star Mercury stationary Jupiter & Aldebaran near the Moon Moon furthest north (+20.4°) First Quarter Moon, apogee (404261 km) Equinox (start of autumn) Mars near Uranus (0.6’ apart) Regulus near the Moon Full Moon (31.9’ diameter) Spica near the Moon Venus in superior conjunction Venus near Uranus (40’ apart) Uranus at conjunction Saturn near the Moon Moon occults alpha Librae (05:31-05:38) Moon at perigee (367493 km)

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In The Garden 12

March is the month to sow seeds for all the dry season flowers and vegetables. If the rain is still heavy, wait until later in the month. Sow seeds in a seedbed out in the open where conditions are similar to their final growing site. The exceptions are root vegetables like carrots and beetroot that cannot be transplanted. Sow them in the bed where they will grow. Dig the seedbed to a depth of 30 cm., removing all stones, roots and other debris. Do not use manure or fertiliser at this stage. The tiny germinating seeds cannot cope with extra fertilisers of any kind. Germination is improved by soaking the seeds in diluted EM before planting. For small seeds half an hour is long enough but for very large seeds soak for 6 hours or overnight. If you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have EM, soak large seeds in water. Add river sand to improve drainage if your soil is clay rather than loam. Rake the soil well and use the back of the rake to make a shallow furrow. Sprinkle the seeds along the furrow and gently pull soil over to cover them. A general guide is to cover the seed with the same depth of soil as the size of the seed. Some small seeds like coriander should be scattered on the surface and then just covered with a thin layer of soil. Press the soil down firmly. You can use your feet to do this and walk along the line where the seeds are buried. This ensures that the seeds are in contact with soil and not in a little pocket of air. Sprinkle the whole bed generously with water. Do not use a hosepipe or watering can without a nozzle or a rose to make a fine spray. You might wash all the seeds out of the soil! You can improvise with a large plastic bottle with small holes pierced in the base. Water the seeds daily, as they must not dry out until the roots have grown longer and can search for water. When the seedlings have developed and have several leaves, transplant them to their final growing location. Hold the seedling by a leaf NOT by the stem. If you squeeze the stem too hard the whole plant will die but if you pinch the leaf it will only damage the leaf. It is still a little too early to apply fertiliser. Wait until the plant has recovered from the shock of being transplanted and shows signs of new growth. Then you can start to encourage it to grow rapidly with a small dose of fertiliser. Agapanthus, amaryllis and many other plants use the rainy season to store food in their bulbs. Once the rains are over you can lift and divide them or transplant the amaryllis into larger pots. This should be done every third year, especially for agapanthus and cannas. You can replant them in the same bed but always dig the soil deeply and add lots of compost and manure. A new nursery has taken over from Trees for Africa on the corner of Leopardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Hill and Malaiti Road, where the pylons cross the road. Green Fingers Nursery has a good variety of plants, some imported from South Africa. The layout is clean and attractive with paved paths and white gravel. They sell bags of pine bark chips - essential for orchids, stag horn ferns and an excellent mulch for pot plants. Check it out.

KINGSWOOD COLLEGE SO MANY OPPORTUNITIES!

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NDOLA Date : Monday 18 March 2013 at 18h30 Venue : Home of Emma Webb 4753 Mkuni Road, Kansanshi Contact : Marina Shiel 0966 996 527 KITWE Date : Tuesday 19 March 2013 at 18h30 Venue : Mukwa Lodge Contact : Lotta Whittemore 0966 782 011 Date :

LUSAKA Wednesday 20 March 2013 at 18h30

Old Kingswoodian function AND marketing presentation

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There are no ghosts in our house, though it is built for haunting. Moorish by design, it’s more of an architectural beaux geste to Bunny Allen the former refugee gypsy White Hunter who washed up on the shores of Lamu in the 60’s and built several rambling castellated houses, than to the courtyards of the Alhambra. There are no tiled walkways or soaring, vaulted ceilings, just two simple circular keeps of three floors joined by an arched walkway. She rises out of the palomino beach sand just above the spring tide drift, contemplating a patchwork sea of ever-changing aquamarine blues and fresh minted greens. Her lines are simple, the shuttered windows arched with fanlights of watered down inky blue glass which wash the rooms in submarine light as the sun measures its arc. Allen now is buried alongside his third wife Jeri, in his garden in Shela Village. My friend Sandy who lived in their cottage, looked out for them in the last few months of their lives, gently rebuffing Allen’s charming flirtations at age 94, and watched them laid to rest beneath the coconut palms. For years she still keenly felt his presence and saw his shade moving around the old house under the moonlight. Unlike her I have never seen a ghost. I’m on the rooftop terrace of our own house, 470kms south of Lamu on the East Coast of Zanzibar, elbows on the matiti’s (the only word in Swahili we could find to describe the mammary like castellations we have used, like Allen, to adorn all our walls). I’m watching a storm sweeping in from the north east on the back of the kaskazi tradewind which will soon rattle the palms and send rainwater misting through the shutters and pooling under the doors. Startled from a bad dream, in which my wife was building a gallows to execute me on, for some or other heinous crime, I am once and for all convinced that after we die there is nothing, and that all consciousness is expunged and that there are no ghosts or angels and we cannot guide and keep safe our children once we are gone. I’ve

been drinking some. Not to destruction but for long and hard enough to blur the edges and although surrounded by many of the friends I love best in this life, all here to celebrate three half-century birthdays, I should be in a safe enough space to drop my guard without fear of melancholy pooling in like the rainwater. But the constant topping up of confidence and a jolly persona bottled like djinn, and tonic for the troops we have invited, ebbs in the early hours and this dream has left me desolate with those few words in my head “there are no ghosts in our house”, and an overwhelming sadness that there never will be. Sadness, that much as we try over the next few years to fill this house with life and the rich, lingering depths of garlic and guitar chords, the fire of irreverent fun and murderous chilli, the clean tang of lime and belly laughter and the joyous calls of children at play launching enduring friendships in the surf, filling their memory banks with vivid postcard images and emotions strong enough to inscribe their very DNA; hard as we try, it will be gone in a flash and after that … nothing. And I wont be allowed to haunt this place, some part of me, some parcel of energy that is the best of me wont be allowed to lodge here to see them grow, and fall in love, and tell their own stories and watch their own curly and sunbleached child’s eyes light up with glee at the first bite of a warm sugared donut in the morning. But then some footsore miles and litres of sweat later, back at the laptop, I Google Allen’s obituary in the LA Times and the banner add at the top left of the page shouts “New scientific theory says death isn’t the end” What Happens When You Die RobertLanza.com .Piqued by the synchronicity of this I follow the link and find some solace. 15

Lanza published an article which proposed that biology could build upon quantum physics. Two years later, with astronomer and author Bob Berman, he published Biocentrism: How Life and Consciousness Are the Keys to Understanding the True Nature of the Universe, which expanded upon the ideas in his essay Talking of the impasse that we have reached in finding a unifying theory of the universe which requires any less of a leap of faith than Catholicism, they suggest answers to life’s Big Questions. Lanza quips “It’s one thing to …. acknowledge that theoretical physicists are brilliant people, even if they do tend to drip food on themselves at buffets. But at some point, virtually everyone has thought, or at least felt: “This really doesn’t work ….”

Lanza, a child prodigy at 13, literally entered the back door of Harvard Medical School with an almost unbelievable story of his basement experiments which successfully altered the genetics of chickens. Over the next decade, he was taken under the wing of such scientific giants as psychologist B. F. Skinner, immunologist Jonas Salk, and heart transplant pioneer Christiaan Barnard. His mentors billed him as a “genius,” a “renegade” thinker, and a latter day Einstein. Lanza has not disappointed them and has been hailed as the Bill Gates of science. His achievements are many and include cloning the first endangered species from frozen cells in 2001, proving that aging could be reversed through nuclear transplantation and generating human embryonic stemcells to provide transplant tissue, which in one study has lead to a partial restoration of sight for patients suffering from macular blindness. Not a bad track record for a guy still in his 50’s, who looks more like a beat-poet than a backroom boffin. In 2007 16

Where religion views the universe as a set of forces and circumstances created by a guiding cosmic power just for us, and theoretical physicists consider the same forces through random trial and error, to have shaped the evolution of life as we know it; Biocentric theory presents a shift in world view with the perspective that life creates the universe instead of the other way around. Lanza and Berman challenge every theory from the Big Bang to the Bible and our current understanding of Time and Space, “Even Einstein avoided the question of what space and time are. He simply defined them as what we measure with clocks and measuring-rods. However, the emphasis should be on the “we,” not the measuring.” Lanza holds up biology (the Science of Life) as the new key to unlock the doors that physicists and astronomers

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have failed to budge. “There are over 200 parameters in the universe so exact that it strains credulity to propose they are random. Tweak any of them and you never existed” says Lanza. He uses timehonoured experiments with atomic and sub-atomic particle behaviour, which have puzzled physicists for decades, to show that the very presence of an observer or a life force changes the behaviour of the matter of the Universe. The scope of the work can’t be covered here but it is the sort of vertigo inducing writing that can only be ingested in small canapé sized bites as the revelations it expounds are too rich to be digested in large portions. In short, it does your head in! Take one example of the age-old conundrum “If a tree falls in a forest and nobody is there, does it make a sound?” Biocentrism proves quite conclusively that in the absence of an observer, it does not. A tree falling violently to earth creates disturbance of the air-pressure in pulses which travel through the surrounding medium with a frequency of 5-30 pulses

per second. Only an organism with the physiological apparatus to detect pulses in this frequency range will convert them into the perception of sound in its brain. When an Ear-Brain mechanism is absent, all that remains are tiny, silent puffs of wind. Likewise Lanza disappears candle flames, rainbows and refrigerators with similar theoretical conjury and later bends the reader’s brain to embracing immortality, stating “The ‘Who am I?’ feeling is just a 20-watt fountain of energy operating in the brain. But this energy doesn’t go away at death. One of the surest axioms of science is that energy never dies; it can’t be created or destroyed.” Read up on this guy. His theories make a lot of sense and fit the New Age of our planet and human consciousness like a glove. You may just end up believing, in the early hours, sobered by a nightmare and clutching at life, that you will be allowed by the forces of nature to haunt your house when you shuffle off your mortal coil, and in some way still be around to love your sons. And that may comfort you.

Eventually a place to park was found, close to where all the rubbish was dumped. The rubbish surrounded an incinerator which was obviously not man enough to cope so the stuff was just dumped on the ground and set on fire.

Groundee Rent

Come September every year is a task that must be done, however irritating. The ground rent has to be paid. This is a comparatively small amount of money but, if you do not pay it, there is a chance, pretty remote, I must say, that your property can be taken away from you. The reason I say it is pretty remote is that, unless your property has suddenly become the desire of some incredibly well connected person, the good people of the Ministry of Lands could not be bothered to disturb the even tenor of their lives by doing anything at all. Going to work, usually late, reading the newspaper, doing ones nails, attending seminars, funerals, clinics, being “not around” or “gone to town” seem to be their principal occupations, the other one consisting of redirecting enquiries to another office, any other office, anything to get rid of a noisome nuisance of someone who has the temerity to disturb their working day. So, having nothing to do for an hour or two I repaired to that incredible hive of inactivity, Mulungushi House where the song comes to mind “Busy doing nothing, working the whole day through”. Finding somewhere to park is difficult; it would be much easier if all the wrecks round the back were removed to an auction house or a scrap yard. Brand new white lines had been painted at the entrance, “Entry Only” was proclaimed in large, expensive signs all of which were noted as I squeezed through the entrance in the face of exiting GRZ traffic, an effort made more difficult by the banana vendor’s stall that took up a lot of space by the gate post there. 18

Into the building I went, to discover that the Ground Rent office had been modernized, a nice counter installed, behind which there were three desks, manned by three pregnant ladies (someone had been busy after all) variously engaged in eating an early lunch, knitting and having a deep and lengthy conversation on a cell phone at a volume that called into question the need to use such a device if the correspondent was within a 5 kilometre range. I, along with three other persons waiting at the desk, was duly noted and, after a suitable interval to impress upon us supplicants the kindness that was to be bestowed upon us, we were attended to by the one pregnant lady who drew the short straw. A computer was manned and a printer spewed out the details of how much money was owed in ground rent. This part of the matter was dealt with well. Now to pay! The queue went out of the building, down the steps and did not seem to be moving very fast. After 90 minutes progress had been made, the top of the steps were reached and a row of chairs achieved. As each person was dealt with one could shuffle along to the next chair and so on. Six chairs remained before a corner was reached and then the paying- in desk was in sight. From this vantage point it could be seen that the process of giving money to the Government was a long and laborious

one. The paying -in desk was manned but by one person who, from time to time, was called away to deal with other matters. Now and then a person cut into the desk to ask a question which was answered kindly and, often, at length. Again, sundry important personages came and thrust pieces of paper in at the hapless official behind the grill. Definitely, the poor chap was overworked but doing what he could to satisfy all comers. Why, therefore, were there not more persons manning the paying-in position. It was explained to me later that if there was only one person behind the desk, taking the money, there would be only one person to blame for any shortfall. More than one and the blame could not be pinned down so no one could be accused of naughtiness! I stood in the queue for over two hours before I realized that this was a waste of my time. Life was too short to spend the autumn of my days in a queue that did not seem to diminish fast enough to allow me to get to the counter before all closed up shop for the night. As you do, you read the sundry bits and pieces on the Ground Rent

statement to pass the time and there, before my very eyes, was the solution; obtain a bank guaranteed cheque and post it to the Commissioner of Lands! You silly lad, why had you wasted all this time, off you go! To Barclays Bonk, demand said cheque and, within 15 minutes and the payment of 80 pin I was equipped with said piece of paper. I returned home, wrote a covering letter, attached the cheque and headed for the nearest post office. To ensure that nothing could go amiss I decided to register the letter. Alas, the post office at Crossroads could not do this, I was referred to the one at Kabulonga, where it was regretted that they could not accept a registered letter, one had to go to a proper post office so, with but a tiny mutter, I repaired to Woodlands where the dreaded deed was done and a little piece of paper issued. Bliss, the annual unpleasantness was over, I had done my duty, paid my dues; nothing remained but to polish and admire my halo. In early November I felt a spot of disquiet, the receipt for said payment of ground

rent had not arrived, as requested, at my post box. I thought that this was not to be unexpected, but a quick visit to the office of the three pregnant ladies and a new statement would show that all had been allocated to the correct account. Alackaday, the only progress was that there were only two pregnant ladies and nothing had been credited to my account. Upon asking where I could query all this I was sent to an office on the first floor where two very jolly ladies made a best guess and sent me to Registry. Breezing past the No Entry To The Public sign I came across a room full of paper and desks, behind which were a number of people engaged in the usual occupations found in Mulungushi House. Most were clustered round a lady with a large holdall from which she was producing sundry items of ladies apparel for sale. It would appear that this enterprising lady was a member of staff from elsewhere in the building who spent her various types of leave, annual, sick and unpaid, on bus trips to South Africa on buying said items. As I was assured, one had to make ends meet somehow or other. My query could only be answered by a person who was not there, please return tomorrow. Silly man, this I did and, despite all the odds, managed to catch the man as he was departing on some task or other. My letter was most probably at the Post Office, awaiting collection. He would ensure that it would be collected at once. Three days later, having had the good sense to take the man’s cell phone number, I checked. He took the call on a bus which was inward bound from Kabwe, apologised profusely for the delay but assured me that the letter would be collected as soon as he got back. I thought

that this had better be checked and made a follow up, caught the chap a couple of days later. All was well, the letter had been delivered to the office of the Commissioner of Lands! I thought to give them a week and then make another follow up. More progress, only one pregnant lady, the population is looking up, but, alas, no credit on the ground rent side of things. Up the stairs to the office of the jolly ladies who tell me where the Commissioner of Lands office is. The security grille is padlocked, the door shut behind it. A gentleman comes along, he asks me my business, I tell him, he looks at his watch, it is past 2 o’clock, he knocks on the door, it is opened a touch and a lady explains that she knocked off late for lunch so would not be open for business for a while. The gentleman shrugs, I respond. Through the crack of the door I could see the lady reclined in her seat, asleep. By 2.45 there are a crowd of supplicants milling about the corridor. Eventually the grille is unlocked and the lady, one of two secretaries that occupy the room, demands of my business. Your letter will be in the Commissioner’s in basket, he is away (makes a change from Not Around); come back some other time, like next week Friday. Now when someone tells me that something is definitely going to be ready next week Friday I have grave doubts. It was with amazement that upon my return I am handed an envelope with receipts for ground rents paid! Oh Ye of little faith. But then, Hang About, these receipts are for a Mr. David Moffat of Mwinilunga!

I return the following day with a letter to the Commissioner, voicing my concerns about my missing cheque, bid all and sundry a Happy Christmas and depart this realm for pastures far colder, buoyed up by the hope that all will be resolved upon my return from overseas. A New Year, a quick check at the Bonk, no, the cheque has yet to be presented. To Lands, the parking problems accentuated by large puddles occupying parking places. I present myself, yet again, to the office of the Commissioner. The lady takes one look at me and sends me up another flight of stairs to a Mr. Daka, who apologises to me, sends a note downstairs, telling the lady to look in the In Basket and retrieve the letter. I am advised to come back another day. In doing so I find poor Mr. Daka, engulfed in files, who refers me to the lady next door who, in turn, summons the lady from the Commissioner’s office, who, on conferring, ask me to return on Monday to see Mr. Chilembo, “who knows your case!”

A box is brought out, containing something like 60 pieces of registered mail awaiting collection and in it, is found my letter. I request that I be given the box so that I can take the lot to Lands but it is regretted that I did not look responsible enough to be entrusted with the delivery of said mail. (besides which there were several sacks of ordinary mail awaiting collection!!!) Armed with the information I returned to Lands and spoke to Mr. Chilembo, a charming gentleman, who when last seen, was scurrying towards Registry; it was a shame that he did not seem to be carrying a Cat O Nine Tails with him. I hope that all that will remain for me to do is calculate the time and effort involved in countering the crass incompetence of these wonderful, well meaning people, and work out how to pay the ground rent next time! But, being married to a cynic, I have been assured that the end may not yet be in sight!

It is a bright Monday morning in February when I return to the fray, but this time, I feel that I should do a background check. I go to Woodlands Post Office; I am told that my registered letter was dispatched promptly to the Commissioner’s post box held at the Lusaka Main Post Office in Cairo Road. Away I go, battle through the traffic, find a puddle to park in at the Post office, am charged a Pin for the privilege of getting my feet wet and enter the Post Office. On enquiring of the Postmaster I was directed to the first floor. Beware, the stairs at the north end of the building are blocked off at the TOP of the stairs. One must retreat and go up the stairs on the south side. Ah well, exercise is supposed to be good for you. Alas, the Postmaster is, yes, you guessed it, Not Around! The bit is, by now, firmly between my teeth so I return to the counters downstairs and am directed to that of the Registered Mail received. I explain my query to a charming young lady there, who explains that the collection of mail from the post office for the Commissioner of Lands is notorious for its failure. 21

Can You Handle It? A few months ago, I had the sad task of choosing a coffin in which to bury my father. No matter how long someone has been ill and, as he said, ‘in the departure lounge’ when the time comes and your loved one does pass on, it is still a shock and a highly emotional time for those left behind. Having to organise the funeral certainly helps one to keep going during those initial days. As a family, we had sat down a few years ago and discussed together with my father what he wanted for his funeral. This is certainly to be recommended if for no reason than that those of us left behind knew exactly what had to be done and it was easy to allocate the tasks to each person. One of mine was to liaise with the funeral parlour and to arrange the coffin. My father, a farmer, was a plain no-nonsense person and that requirement for his coffin was that it be as plain as possible. ‘Plain’ was almost an impossibility. Most of the coffins were ornate with fancy corners,

elaborate embossing and curly handles. Choosing the least fancy wooden coffin, I couldn’t help thinking that we might have been better off having our farm carpenter knock something together, something that was sturdy, solid and strong. But it was too late for that and I had to take what was available. All went well, and in this, I must commend Ambassador St Ann’s. They were very easy to work with and they were on time; in fact they were early. But the disappointment came when the pall bearers, the most senior members of our staff, were to carry the coffin. They were informed that they could not use the handles as they were not strong enough to bear the weight of a body. In other words they were there for decoration only! Is this not a disgrace and a slur on our coffin manufacturers?

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Road Safety – An Oxymoron? ‘Fifty Three Killed’ screamed the

headlines.

And everyone rushed to the scene, shocked! Yet I am only shocked that it has not happened earlier - these passenger coaches that tear up and down our roads at full throttle, screaming past cars and trucks as if they are on the Formula 1 track. Granted, in this case, it seems that the accident was not caused by either the bus nor the truck. Or at least that’s the story. But in general, bus drivers seem reluctant to take their foot off the accelerator, apply brakes from time to time and to slow down overall. And as I always tell my staff – if you are involved in an accident you are as much at fault as the person who was in the wrong as you should have been driving in such a manner as to be able to avoid the accident happening. Just a week before this accident, we had retuned from a trip to Nakonde, amongst other places. On our way up north, leaving Mpika early in the morning, we were plagued by the antics of the Tanzanians truck drivers, something I have complained about before. On this trip we had two incidents in particular. The first was in the hills between Mpika and Chinsali. Having made our way to the brow of the hill, we were making our way down at a reasonable but safe speed when looking in the rear view mirror, I saw a truck thundering down on us, flashing his lights. Pulling almost completely off the road, the truck flew past us, sticking to the middle of the road. The driver had obviously engaged both his truck and brain in neutral gear. On the way up next hill, the driver had re-engaged the gears of the truck. It was not apparent whether he had engaged his brain or not. But a repeat performance of flashing lights took place on the downside of the hill, where once again truck and brain were in neutral and we were pushed half off the road. Having taken our photograph, we hung back and let the truck go on his way. 24

The habit of truck drivers disengaging their gears when going down seep hills is extremely common but also extremely dangerous. Many a driver and his (illegal) passengers have been killed when they can not re-engage the gears and lose control of a Fifty Tonne monster on wheels and have no way to stop it. The second incidence was in the hills near Isoka. Travelling around a bend on the way down one of the many hills, we came upon two trucks coming up the hill, one of them in our lane. I was traveling at a safe speed so was easily able to avoid an accident. But what would the result have been had I had thirty tonnes of cargo pushing me down the hill? The Great North Road between Mpika and Nakonde is littered with wrecked trucks and buses. We have written a number of times about the seeming total disregard for road rules and regulations by the majority of the vehicles that ply that route. Yet we see no improvement. Nor do we see any enforcement agencies out there, enforcing the laws trying to make our roads a safer place.

Without a doubt, we will see RTSA and Zacaria Phiriâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Highway Patrols out in force for the next few months, but then they will dwindle away and we will be back to static road blocks which all drivers approach sedately and safely, and which make absolutely no difference to how the drivers behave out on the open road where these accidents are occurring. I have many times stopped at these road blocks to complain about the behaviour on the road of a specific bus or truck and asked Zacaria to caution the driver. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a pointless exercise because I know that nine times out of ten, Zacaria is not going to do anything about it, but I live in the hope that maybe one officer will take my complaint seriously and that maybe one driver will take the caution seriously.

We believe it is also time that legislation is enacted that all buses should have the RTSA toll fee number (983 from all networks) painted on the back and front of the vehicle inviting other road users to call RTSA when they see buses behaving on the roads in a dangerous or unsafe manner be it overtaking in a dangerous place, overspeeding (as we call it here) or one of the other innumerable examples of bad driving practise that we see on our roads daily. Passengers on the buses should also be able to call this number if they feel that the driver of the bus in which they are traveling is not driving safely. The drivers of the buses concerned should then in turn be cautioned and repeat offences should result in their licences being withdrawn.

If we are to stop the unnecessary deaths and injuries that are occurring on our roads, it is time for our law enforcement agencies to get tough and to get out there and enforce the legislation that exists to improve the safety of all travelers on our roads. And the focus must be on ROAD SAFETY not on revenue collection, whether for Government coffers or for the coffers of the individual officers.

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Human Types

In my younger days I worked in Fiji; one of those tiny Pacific Island countries. Being young, I wanted to understand the various cultures obtaining in this idyllic research resort of anthropologists. Needless to say that the first book I bought was Bronislaw Malinowsky’s The Sexual Life of Savages of North-Western Melanesia. It was a persuasive account of his participatory observations of the Tobriands there. The book contained many black-and-white pictures of undressed Melanesians, be it that the men were clad in bamboo tubes in which their penises were put. I also bought Sir Raymond Firth’s Human Types which contained only a few pictures. Both books belong to that large category of books which one intends to read, but never does. Yet Human Types intrigued me. I found that Sir Raymond had chosen a terrific title; one that makes you ponder about what types of human beings can be distinguished. The book inspired me to observe people from different walks of life, races, professions, and social classes with a view to develop my own typology of human types.

history about the Fijians’ peculiar habit. The explanation’s first sentence was reassuring: Cannibalism had been abolished at the end of the 19th century. So, although not a missionary, I didn’t have to fear for my life. The rest of the explanatory note was very interesting: The good old Fijians preferred Catholic missionaries to Protestant ones as the former tasted better! The reason being, the note said, that Catholic missionaries had eaten better food and drank a lot of wine, which resulted in a rich wine-marinated taste of the meat! Then and there, I established my first human types typology: Cannibals and vegetarians! I tested it out but I must admit that it didn’t work out in the Pacific; neither in Fiji, nor in Tonga and Samoa. True, the cannibal part was acknowledged; however, there was not one vegetarian to be found on the islands of the South Seas. They all loved fish and, in particular, they loved smoked pork. What they did on the weekends was to put a dead piglet in a sub-soil oven. The meat would

I was helped by the insight of others in my endeavour. I believe that the most fundamental, and at the same time simple, distinction of human types ever made was established by the American philosophercum-comedian Woody Allen. His typology consists of two types only: Horribles and miserables. When you come to think of it, you can indeed put anybody under one of the two ‘labels’. Obviously, everybody prefers to be characterized as miserable, especially the horrible types. My advice in this case is: don’t let people choose for themselves. The classification has to be done by an objective person; preferably you yourself! One of the first cultural outings I undertook in Fiji was to visit the National Museum. There I learned that in the olden days Fijians had the peculiar habit of boiling and then eating European missionaries. They ate them with preciously carved wooden forks which were proudly displayed in a vitrine. This vitrine also contained a brief explanatory 27

simmer for hours on end after which the piglet was dug up again and eaten by the entire extended family. Having returned to Europe, the vegetarian part of my early typology was suddenly revived. That was because I lived across from a so-called Reform shop. These shops exclusively sell ‘natural’ products, ranging from unadulterated vegetables to quinua (a wholesome bean which only grows on high plains in the Andes). All customers consisted exclusively of skinny women with thin hair, with a terribly unhealthy complexion. So, I had identified my vegetarian human type after all: female reform shop customers! I haven’t been able to identify many more human types since. However, there is one you can’t miss: Politicians. Without exception, they are all well-dressed and manicured, radiate a lot of joy in life, wear golden watches, and pretend to be genuinely interested in you; no, they act as if they were your friend! While heartily shaking hands with you, they don’t look into your eyes; instead they look frantically around

to spot another ‘friend’ they need to shake hands with. Meanwhile they ask about your mother’s health, not realizing that the poor soul passed away seven years ago. They then don’t even feel embarrassed about their un-thoughtful question, as their attention is already focused on other ‘friends’ in the audience. True, from time to time one recognizes lawyers and teachers in a crowd. But they are not as singularly recognizable as politicians. That is why I haven’t been able to include them in my typology of human types as yet. I realize that my quest for more human types is unended as yet. So, should you have a specific human type to suggest, don’t hesitate to contact me, so that, together, we can evolve the classification of human types that Sir Raymond developed a long time ago. Peter de Haan (peterdehaan65@yahoo.com)

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Thursday 28 February – Sunday 3 March: Mulungushi Men’s Christian Retreat. Venue: Mulungushi Dam. Bring your tent, boat, jet skis, off-road motorbikes, fishing gear, parasailing gear, water skis and have some fun. Bring your son and have some quality father son bonding time. A guest speaker will be discussing Christian values, parenting, manhood and more. Camping facilities available. INFO: Conrad 0977 573-626 Saturday 2 March – May: ‘Womanwood’ Arts and Applied Art Exhibition. Venue: Choma Museum and Crafts Centre, Choma. Exhibition in recognition of Women’s Day. INFO: 0977 661-411. Monday 4 March – Tuesday 5 March: Botox, Restylane, fillers by Dr Clark. Venue: Senses at Sensorium. INFO: 0211 257-330, 0977 798-282

Friday 8 March: Public Holiday. Women’s Day Monday 11 March: Irish Gig. Venue: Misty’s, Levy Mall. Time: 7.30 pm. Tickets: KR50. Organised by The Wild Geese Society. Our band all the way from Ireland will be there to entertain you. Food and cash bar available. All proceeds to charity. Tuesday 12 March: Public Holiday. Youth Day Tuesday 12 March: Gaelic Football organised by The Wild Geese Society. Venue: Lazy J , Leopards Hill. Time: 3 pm. Great family day out, food and cash bar available. Our band all the way from Ireland will be there to get you in the mood and of course a glass of Guinness. Everyone welcome.

Saturday 16 March: The Lusaka Book Club is reading ‘In Lucia’s Eyes’ by Arthur Japin’. Next month is ‘Bel Canto’ by Ann Patchett. INFO: 0979 454-765

Friday 22 March: World Water Day

Saturday 16 March: St Patrick’s Ball. Venue: Hotel Inter Continental. Tickets: KR350. Dress strictly formal. Entertainment all the way from Ireland. Members reserve your tickets now. INFO: susan.wotevaminga. radford@gmail.com

Sunday 24 March: World Tuberculosis Day

Wednesday 20 March: International Day of Happiness

Monday 25 March: International Day of Remembrance of the Victims of Slavery and the Transatlantic Slave Trade

Thursday 21 March: International Day for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination

Saturday 23 March: World Meteorological Day

Sunday 24 March: International Day for the Right to the Truth concerning Gross Human Rights Violations and for the Dignity of Victims

Thursday 21 March: World Poetry Day

Monday 25 March: International Day of Solidarity with Detained and Missing Staff Members

Thursday 21 March: International Day of Nowruz

Friday 29 March: Public Holiday. Good Friday

Thursday 21 March: World Down Syndrome Day

Saturday 30 March: Public Holiday. Holy Saturday

Monday 1 April: Public Holiday. Easter Monday Tuesday 2 April: World Autism Awareness Day Thursday 4 April: International Day for Mine Awareness and Assistance in Mine Action Friday 5 April – Sunday 7 April: The Green Expo Zambia 2013. Venue: Lusaka National Museum. A unique opportunity for organizations and individuals to showcase products and services offering a sustainable greener lifestyle choice for all eco-conscience consumers and businesses in Zambia. Contact 0977 842-934 or email greenexpo.zambia@gmail.com for more information/participation. Sunday 7 April: Day of Remembrance of the Victims of the Rwanda Genocide Sunday 7 April: World Health Day ‘Craft Markets & Markets’

‘Business Associations & Community’ The Association of 41 Clubs of Zambia. Meetings: First Wednesday of the month, (except Chingola - first Friday). Lusaka: No 1 Kunzubo Guest Lodge, Zambezi Rd, Roma, 6 pm; Kitwe: No 2, The Ravens Country Club, 6 pm; Ndola: No 3, Table Hall, Ndola, 7 pm; Chingola: No 4, Golf Club, 6.30 pm. All ex-tablers welcome INFO: 0955 791-414. Chishawasha Children’s Home has a regular stall at the Dutch Reform Church Craft Market. Available are hand-made crafts and quality second-hand books. Don’t miss this opportunity to support Zambian orphans. INFO: 0211 214557, philplusm@gmail.com Diplomatic Spouses Association (DSA). Meetings: Last Tuesday of the month. Members and spouses from diplomatic / international missions, honorary consulates & expatriate community accredited to Zambia are all welcome. INFO: soraya. king@hotmail.com

Dutch Reformed Craft Market. Venue: Dutch Reformed Church, Kabulonga. Time: Last Saturday of the month. Foxdale Court Farmer’s Market: Venue: Foxdale Court, 609 Zambezi Road, Roma. Time: Sundays; 7 am – 5 pm. Locally grown fruit, vegetables, cut flowers, plants, fresh and dried vegetables. Support your small scale farmers. INFO: 0973 315-185, 0211 295-793, info@foxdalecourt.com, www. foxdalecourt.com St Columba’s Craft Market. Venue: St Columba’s Presbyterian Church, Nangwenya Rd. Time: First Saturday of the month. Come buy and sell, all welcome. Proceeds to church projects and community. Konzani Gardens Market Day. Venue: Plot 7053/M Lusaka West. Buy and Sell vegetables, chickens, eggs, clothes, toys, books, paintings. Time: Last Saturday of every month, 9 am on. Stands: KR20 / K20,000 INFO: 0976 549-777, konzanigardens@gmail.com 31

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InterNations: Join our global online community of expatriates living in Zambia. Meet fellow expats at our monthly event held at a sassy venue in Lusaka for drinks and networking. Make it easier to settle in by sharing and having your questions answered in the local forum. Use our City Guide and be informed of places to visit, businesses to use and other tidbits. Get many opportunities to meet people from various nationalities and make new friends. INFO: ireen.shalom@gmail.com or rwillsm@ hotmail.com International Women’s Club. Meetings: First Wednesday of the month. Venue: Poolside, Southern Sun Ridgeway. New members welcome. Lusaka District Business Association. Meetings: Last Wednesday of the month. Venue: ZCSMBA offices, Showgrounds. Time: 2 pm. A member of the Zambia Chamber of Small and Medium Business Associations (ZCWMBA). Come and enhance your business integrity. An ideal forum for sharing business knowledge, ideas, skills etc. Rotary Club Meetings. Mondays: RC of Nkwazi; Barclays Bank Sports Club; 6 pm. Tuesdays: RC of Lusaka; Holiday Inn; 12.30 pm. Wednesdays: RC of Maluba; Radisson Blu; 12.30 pm. Thursdays: RC of Lusaka Central; Taj Pamodzi Hotel; 12.30 pm. Fridays: RC of Pamodzi; Taj Pamodzi Hotel; 12.30 pm. Saturdays: RC of Kusinta; The Courtyard Hotel; 9 am. Stuttering Association of Zambia. Meetings: Second Saturday of the month. Time: 2.30 pm. Persons who stutter or stammer, spouses of people who stutter, parents of children who stutter, speech therapists and anyone with an interest are welcome to join. INFO: 0977 863-363, 0977 841-576, stutteringz@ gmail.com Zambian Women’s Institute: Meetings: Every Wednesday morning. Venue: Longacres (next to the Red Cross Building). INFO: 0977 419-005, 0955 756-643, 0965 756-643, ackashita@yahoo.co.uk

‘Faith-Based’ American Orthodox Catholic Church: Desire to celebrate the old Catholic Divine Liturgy (not Vatican). INFO: 0977 707-367. Bahá’í Devotional Gathering: Venue: Bahá’í Centre, Alick Nkhata Road, beside Mass Media Complex. Time: Sunday 10.30 am 12 pm. All are welcome. Children’s classes and Junior Youth Groups. INFO: 0975 179967. Baptist Mission of Zambia: Venue: Baptist Guesthouse, Corner of Nangwena Rd, Margrat Tembo. Bible Study. Time: Sunday 4.30 pm. Times are tough, Life doesn’t seem to be getting easier, troubles everywhere you look - But there is hope. Classes for all ages. Come join us as we study God’s Word - the only hope for our daily lives! INFO: 0211 292-143 Eternal Life Fellowship: Venue: Old Black Velvet Building, The Groove. Time: Sunday 9 am. INFO: 0211 294-430 or 0977 853-298.

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Gospel Outreach Fellowship: Venue: GO Centre, Nangwenya Road. Time: Sunday 8.30 am or 11.30 am. INFO: 0211 255-234, 0955 451-271 www.go.org.zm

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Greek Orthodox Mass: Venue: Hellenic Association Club, Kafue Road. Time: Sunday 10 am - 12 pm. Ladies Interdenominational Bible Study Group: Venue: St. Columbasâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Church, Nangwenya Road. Time: Wednesday 10 am. INFO: 0977 799-623. Lusaka Family Church: Venue: Mulungushi Conference Hall, Mulungushi Village. Time: Sunday 9am - 11am. Childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Church: 6 -12 yrs, Toddlers Zone: up to 5 yrs. Youth Life: Sunday 11am - 1pm, Life Groups: Thursday 7pm. INFO: Arnold 0211 293-367, 0978 090-982, Gisela 0976 722-892, www. lusakafamilychurch.org Miracle Life Family Church: Venue: Miracle Life Family Church, Zambezi Road, Roma. Time: Sunday 8 am or 10.30 am. Dynamic childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s program for ages 3 - 12. INFO: 0211 292-286, www.mlfc.org Ngombe Family Church: Venue: Flying Angels Academy, Zambezi Rd. Sunday 5.30 pm â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 7 pm. Wednesday evening Pastors Bible Study 6 pm â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 7 pm. INFO: 0978 090982, 0977 607-087, 0978 959-571 Quakers who would like to contact other Quakers in Lusaka call 0966 761-754.

Go to: www.ad-dicts.com Ad-dicts! Supporting Lusaka Animal Welfare Society's "Spay is the Way Program" & Wildlife Conservation info@ad-dicts.com / 0977 836917 34

Redeemed Christian Church of God: Sunday Service: Venue: Chrismar Hotel Sable Conference Room, Longacres. Time: Sunday 8 am â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 10.30 am. Bible Study. Time: Wednesday 5.30 pm - 6.45 pm. INFO: 0977 866066 Rehoboth Assembly: (Redeemed Christian Church of God). Venue: Plot 7449 Cnr Katopola & Twikatane Roads, Rhodespark. Time: Sundays, 9 am - 11.30 am, Thursdays, 5.30 pm â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 7 pm. INFO: 0955/ 0966/ 0977Â 710-440, rehobothassembly@gmail. com

South City Church, Venue: Baobab College Hall. Time: Sunday 9.30 am. Kids ministry during meeting. Small groups: Meetings during the week. Prayer Meeting: Wednesday 6.30 pm – 7.30 pm. INFO: 0978 289-998, manie.lombard@gmail.com, www. southcitychurch.net Zambia Messianic Fellowship: Venue: 34285 Shantubu Road, Rock-field, Lusaka. Sabbath meeting. Time: Saturday 10.30 am - 12.30 pm. INFO: 0977 858-061 zmf@microlink.zm www.zambiamessianicfellowship.info ‘Four-Footed, Feathered and Environment’ Lusaka Animal Welfare Society (LAWS). Donate KR100 / K100,000 to become a member of the only organization in Lusaka that takes care of abandoned or neglected domestic animals. You also get a LAWS key ring and 20% off all LAWS functions. INFO: 0966 005-297 (0966 00LAWS) Lusaka Kennel Club. Venue: Showgrounds. Sundays, 10 am. Training and socialising for both dogs and owners alike. INFO: 0211 260-081, 0962 001-686 Wildlife & Environment Conservation Society of Zambia (WECSZ) Lusaka Branch. Meets once a month for ecological talks and lectures led by experienced conservationists. Last Thursday of every month. Venue: Gerritz Restaurant, 26 Chaholi Rd, Rhodes Park. Time: 6 pm to 8 pm. Free for WECSZ members while others may attend paying a token KR20 / K20,000. Membership forms, publications are available at the meeting. INFO: Patrick or Maldrine at the Wildlife Association Office, Longacres. 0211 264432, money@coppernet.zm Zambian Ornithological Society meets once a month for a bird walk in the countryside. ZOS members, their families and friends head to the woods and wetlands around Lusaka and beyond. Walks are led by experienced birdwatchers who guide both newcomers and long-term birders through a morning of observation and exploration. INFO: 0977 485-446, www.wattledcrane. com 35

‘Health and Sporting’ Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA) Lusaka. Time: Saturday, 4 pm, Venue: Cathedral of the Holy Cross (Ridgeway) Aerobics by a Personal Trainer: Venue: Kaingo Leisurem Barclays Sports Complex, Club Road (Showgrounds). Time: Tuesdays, Thursdays 6 pm - 7 pm. KR25 / K25,000 / session. INFO: 0977 174-140. Aikido. Venue: Longacres. Tuesdays, Thursdays: 6.30 pm – 8.30 pm. Aikido practitioners in Lusaka, including beginners. INFO: Chisanga (1 Dan) 0972 260-549, chisangakaluba@yahoo.com Alcoholics Anonymous Lusaka: Time: Monday, 5.30 pm. Venue: SharpZ, Roma. Time: Tuesday, 12.30 pm. Venue: Kara Counselling Resource Centre, Thorn Park. Time: Friday, 5.30 pm. Venue: Cathedral of the Holy Cross, Ridgeway. INFO: 0977 400633, 0966 926-093, 0979 342-049.

Alcoholics Anonymous Livingstone: INFO: 0962 804-137 Al-Anon. Venue: SHARPZ, 220 Mutandwa Road, Roma. Time: Wednesdays, 5.30 pm - 6.30 pm. The Al-Anon Family Groups are a fellowship of relatives and friends of alcoholics who share their experience, strength, and hope in order to solve their common problems. We believe alcoholism is a family illness and that changed attitudes can aid recovery. Al-Anon has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics. It is anonymous and it is free. INFO: 0966 400926, 0966 621-806, lusakaafg@gmail.com. Ashtanga yoga classes in the comfort of your own home. You can form a group or have the luxury of a one-to-one class. Pre-natal classes are also offered. INFO: 0978 507986, kanyasu1@yahoo.co.uk Beginners Polocrosse. Venue: Leopards Hill Polocrosse Club. Time: Tuesdays. Introducing riders of any skill level to Polocrosse. Age 12+. The clinic will give

you an easy, no pressure, leg up to start you playing. INFO: 0978 777-728. Chilanga Hackers Golf Society welcomes golfers of all abilities to join in the fun of convivial golf and interesting social activities in a pleasant atmosphere with emphasis on friendship and enjoyment. INFO: 0211 290818 (evenings), 0977 790-900, seawing@ coppernet.zm Children’s Playgroups and educational activities. Baby groups, toddler and preschool. From 0 - 7 yrs. INFO: kidsclub. lusaka@gmail.com CoDA Womens Support Group: Venue: SHARPZ, Mutandwa Road, Roma. Time: Thursdays 5.45 pm – 6.45 pm. CoDependents Anonymous is a twelve step fellowship that helps women of all ages learn to look after ourselves. We gather together weekly to support and share in a journey of self-discovery. Our common purpose is recovery from codependence and we follow the International Co-Dependents Anonymous format (www.coda.org). CoDA is a safe place to share experience, strength and hope. It is anonymous, free and our discussions are in English. The only requirement for membership is a desire for healthy and loving relationships. INFO: 0962 213-708.

ANGLI

Counsellor / Therapist: For handling Depression, Stress and Anxiety, Drug or Alcohol abuse, quit smoking, etc - using Hypnotherapy and NLP. INFO: 0955 999727, priyabala@microlink.zm

PET ACCESSORIES

Cricket. Venue: Lusaka South Country Club, Mukwa Rd, Lilayi. Country & Districts cricket. Home and away matches, Kids coaching, tours and T20 tournaments. Time: Practice Wednesdays, Fridays 5 pm. Kids coaching, Saturdays. INFO: 0977 860-797, 0966 437-808, 0966 751-643. In The Gym with Nikki – Strength Training is your watchword. However old or young you are but particularly after 25 you need to work on muscle tone. Neglecting this metabolically active tissue will result in a slowed metabolism which translates into calories being stored as fat, acceleration in the ageing process and making everyday tasks more difficult. Two months of a regular twice-a-week routine challenging the major muscle groups will leave you fitter, happier, heavier but slimmer! INFO: figurenatic@ gmail.com Inside Story. Ante-Natal Classes, Post-natal care and baby massage classes. INFO: 0977 446-054 / 0211 274-985, margotbham@ gmail.com Karate & Weapons Training. Venue: Lusaka Showgrounds. Luke 5th Dan. 0977 314-511 / 0978 710-102, lukphiri@yahoo.com Lusaka Dolphins at Lusaka Amateur Swimming Club. Venue: Olympic Pool. Group training for competitive swimmers; “learn to swim” for non swimmers; or “swim at my own pace”. INFO: 0966 761-547 Lusaka Hash House Harriers. Time: Saturday, 3pm. Go for a run or walk in the bush, within a 25km radius of Lusaka city centre.

Stockists of major fishing tackle brands & Live exotic aquarium fish. Special orders welcome. DISCOUNTS OFFERED.

YOUR ONE STOP TACKLE, PET & OUTDOOR STORE Shop 7, Makeni Mall- Kafue Rd, Lusaka Zambia Mohammed: 0972-041389 - pro_angling@hotmail.com Imran: 0979-014739 - imran.patel2008@hotmail.com

April

In the next edition:

Beware Flying Stones Clean and Green No Choice At All

INFO: lusakahash@zambia.co.zm, Boy Blue 0966 766-249, G2S 0971 946-937, CM 0977 159-935.

speakers. The purpose is to teach you to be ‘whole’ naturally. INFO: 0955 / 0966 847777, optimyse@gmail.com

Martial Arts. Karate Classes. Weapon classes for brown and black belts. Monthly self defence classes. INFO: Raymond (7th Dan) 0977 783-537, shihanray@hotmail.com

Pilates with a View. Venue: Chilanga (20 mins from Lilayi). Fully equipped STOTT PILATES® Studio (including Matwork with Props, Reformer, Cadillac, Stability Chair, Ladder Barrel & Spine Corrector) For Private, Semi-Private & Group (min 3 – max 6) Classes. Certified STOTT PILATES® Instructor. All Classes are by appointment only, subject to availability & change. INFO: 0977 770-840, ingrid@pilateswithaview.com or www.pilateswithaview.com

Mazabuka Tennis Club. Ladies tennis every Tuesday morning at 07:45. Mixed tennis every Saturday afternoon at 16:00. Meditation. Brahma Kumaris Raja Yoga Meditation Centre. Opposite Northmead shops. Monday - Saturday 5.30 pm and Sundays 2 pm. Free introductory courses. INFO: 0211 250-685 / 254-518 bkrymc@ zamnet.zm. Motorbike lessons: Venue: Central Park, Cairo Road. Time: Sundays 9 am. Best of Bikes Academy is Zambia’s first motorbike school; you can learn to ride a motorbike safely in a controlled space, with experienced instructors. INFO: 0211 236912/3, 0964 584-778, 0973 584-778 Mountain Biking Club Leopards Hill. Open to adults for Saturday morning fun mountain bike in the bush. INFO: mtblusaka@hotmail. com Optimyze Kare Health. Time: Last Thursday of the month; 5 pm. Advice on all aspects of health (fitness, diseases, nutrition, mental health, beauty, lifestyle and wellness, and different alternative and complementary therapies) addresses by professional

Polo X. Venue: Lusaka South Country club, Mukwa Rd, Lilayi. All skill levels welcome. INFO: 0979 505-152. Qi-gong. Venue: French School. Time: Mondays 6 pm to 7 pm. Wednesdays 7 pm to 8 pm. Qi-gong is a system of stationary and moving physical meditations. Training includes fitness and self defence. Running Group. Time: Sunday 6.30 am. Trail & road. Mixed running ability. Options to modify distance (between 10 - 17km). INFO: 0977 801-463, c_ngoma@yahoo.com. Self-Defence (Short Courses): Practical, easy to learn for youths, women or security personnel. Children & adult Karate Classes also offered. The instructor is the All Japan Martial Arts Federation - Zambia President & Chief Representative. INFO: 0977 783-537, shihanray@hotmail.com.

Skydive Zambia (ZUSC): Special offer on Tandem dives, no prior training required. INFO: antoinettedurand46@gmail.com, 0966 622-516, rowles.dave3@gmail.com, 0977 790-500, edmund@skytrailszambia. com Social Bowls. Venue: Central Sports Club. Bowling section. Time: Saturdays. 2 pm. New bowlers welcome. Social Cricket and Polocrosse. Time: Thursday. Venue: Leopards Hill Polocrosse Club. New members welcome. All experience levels welcome. Family, friendly environment. INFO: 0963 881-149 Swimming Teacher. All Ages. Venue: Swedish Embassy School. INFO: 0955/0977 328115 Social tennis. Venue: Lusaka Club, Tennis courts. Time: Saturdays, 1 pm - 6 pm. INFO: 0977 415-269, lusakatennis@yahoo.com Touch Rugby. Venue: Gymkhana Club, Showgrounds Time: Monday and Thursday. Yoga with Iyengar slant. Venue: 30G Sable Rd, Kabulonga. Time: Monday/Wednesday/ Friday, 5.30 pm - 6.30 pm. Tuesday/ Thursday, 12.45 pm - 1.45 pm. Tuesday/ Friday 9 am - 10 am. Venue: Body Temple Gym Central St Jesmondine. Time: Tuesday/ Thursday, 6.45 pm - 7.45 pm. Mats available. INFO: 0966 728-911, towani@kuthuta.com Zambian Cancer Society. Venue: Independence Avenue. Time: Last Friday of the month. 6 pm - 7 pm. Female cancer survivors support group. Support offered via telephone or email. 0955 226-237, info@zambiancancersociety.org / zambiacancersociety@gmail.com Zambia Taekwon-Do Association. Venue: Municipal Sports Club. Time: Saturday, Sunday: 10 am. Tuesday, Thursday: 5.30 pm. INFO: 0211 254-090. ZOCA Fitness. A fun dance workout that combines Caribbean and African dance music and styles. Ladies Class: Chrismar; 40

Mon 6pm, Wed 6.30pm, Sat 11am. Olympia; Mon / Wed / Fri 9am, Tues / Wed / Thurs 6pm, Sat 10am. ZOCA Toning Class: Olympia; Mon 6pm. Ladies & Men Class: Chrismar; Sat 3pm. Kids Class: Chrismar; Mon 3pm. Teens (12-18yrs) Jazz Dance Class: Olympia; Wed 3pm. INFO: 0975 818114, zocadance@gmail.com ‘Leisure’ Art Classes. Venue: Zebra Crossing Café, Ababa House, Twikatane Road. Time: Wednesdays, 9am - 12pm. All Mediums Sketching, Painting in oil, acrylics and more. Beginners welcome! Art supplies available at The Art Shop Zambia. INFO: 0974 279-107, info@theartshopltd.com Camera Chat Group. Meeting: Usually third Saturday of the month. Relaxed discussions for amateur photographers on improving your skills. We also organize monthly assignments and field trips as well as visits to Professional Photographer’s Studios. INFO: For exact date and venue. 0977 226-700 rosegarden@microlink.zm French Storytelling Workshop. Reading to children. Venue: Alliance Française. Time: Wednesday, 2.30 pm - 3.30 pm. Children aged 5 - 16. Helen O’Grady Drama Classes: Afternoons & Saturdays. Kiddy programmes Tuesday, Thursday & Friday mornings. Public speaking courses, Tuesday & Thursday evenings. INFO: carlyn@dramaafrica.com or janet@ dramaafrica.com Informal Book Group (book swapping). Share the books you have been reading. INFO: 0977 630-108, 0977 878-826, gilardi@zamnet.zm Irish Wild Geese Society: would like to welcome anyone from Ireland who has arrived in Zambia. Fun monthly events and St Patrick’s ball in March, (proceeds to local charities). INFO: 0979 875-097 Lusaka Bridge Club. Venue: Main Lounge, Lusaka Golf Club. Time: Monday, 6.45 pm

(to start 7 pm), Duplicate bridge. Monthly & international tournaments held. INFO: 0211 264-432, money@coppernet.zm

gintym@seedco.co.zm, 0955 801-954 murryfieldfarm@zamtel.zm, 0966 858-733 mcrop@zamnet.zm.

Lusaka Garden Club. Meetings: Second Saturday of the month. Members visit different gardens, Garden information and talks. Flower Shows in February for members only and during the Agricultural Show in August open to all. Subscription KR60 / K60,000 per year. INFO: 0977 775-744, 0979 428-003.

Serbian Buffet Lunch. Venue: Nena’s Restaurant. Time: First Sunday of the month. Treat Yourself. INFO: 0211 239-541.

Lusaka Road Bikers. Venue: La Mimosa, Arcades. Time: Sundays, 9 am. Meet for a chat, coffee/breakfast and a ride to various venues. INFO: 0966 766-896

Sunday Lunch. Venue: Gerritz Restaurant. Time: 12 pm to 4 pm. Great German specialities, cold beer, modern German music, relaxed garden atmosphere. INFO: Siri 0211 253-639 / 0977 856-040.

e Calendar 2013 Mountain Bik nga Race

i Kapigimpa • 20 April: Solwez Solwezi) (Kansanshi Mine e - Solwezi) lon (Kansanshi Min th ia Tr : ay M 04 • ka) a Challenge (Kasan nk sa Ka : ay M 25 • Mine 2 Moon (Kansanshi n oo N : ne Ju 15 • Solwezi) e ungushi Challeng ul M : st gu Au 04 • (Mulungushi) to Lower hant Epic (Lusaka ep El : st gu Au 17 • Zambezi) Chuma r: Giro de Susi and be em pt Se 07 – 01 • (Kasanka) e ce (Kansanshi Min Ra i sh an ns Ka : er • 12 Octob - Solwezi)

Insurance Scam or Genuine Error? The scamming insurance salesman cartoon is well known to us all, as is the second hand car salesman, and it seems that this is not necessarily a misnomer. One of our readers recently went to purchase the legally required insurance for her vehicle. The existing insurance expired three weeks after the end of the quarter, around mid-January 2013. But the insurance company insisted that the new insurance could only be issued with

Employment Wanted: Female looking for a job as an office orderly with 6 years experience. Call 0979 608-599. Employment Sought: Zambian looking for a job a Poultry Supervisor with 3 years experience. Call 0967 816-467. For Sale: Aircons 18000 and 12000 BTU at competitive prices. Installation at minimal fee. Call Pro Acc. Services Ltd 0955 883-781. For Sale: Camper Isuzu 4x4: Gas cooker, fridge, hot water, solar panels and batteries, 150l water tank. Only 28,000 km. Price: ZMW 155,000. Contact: 0977 437-845 For Sale: Fibre Glass Boat: 5 meters, 85 HPS Yamaha, Seats need re-upholstering, on

validity until 31 December 2013, as it had to expire at the same time as the vehicle licence/tax disc. This is clearly incorrect as insurance cover can be issued for any length of time (according to what the client requires) and in the case of vehicle insurance it is usually valid for one year. Please be on the lookout for this if you are renewing your insurance and donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t let them rip you off.

trailer. Price ZMW 22,000. Contact: 0977 437-845 For Sale: Mercedes Benz E 200: 2000 model, immaculate condition, 85,700 km, Silver, 6CD loader, leather interior. Price: ZMW 78,000. Contact: 0977 437-845 For Sale: Rolling Chassis â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Mercedes Unimog. Offers!! Contact 0977 437-845 Quick Sale: Salon Equipment; 2 massage beds, 2 manicure tables, pedicure chair, 5 hairdressing chairs, wash basins with chairs, mountable dryers, wooden shelving, metal trolleys, accessories and more. Call 0966 887-466

Luangwa Valley Private House for Rent Jake and Gillieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Valley Retreat Large family home available for holiday let in Mfuwe. Sleeps 8 adults plus 4-6 kids. Three bedrooms, two bathrooms, large upstairs area, nursery PLUS self contained cottage. Great Wildlife location. Private swimming pool, ZESCO, fully furnished, equipped and staffed for fantastic self-catering family holiday venue. Five minutes from Park Gate. Safari Activities and a la carte restaurant available at nearby Flatdogs camp by arrangement. Unbeatable value for families and groups. For more details contact Jake. jakedamotta@gmail.com | jake@buckskinmoon.com Tel: +260 211 213-841 Cell: +260 977 897-779

Small Ads (01 - 20 words): KR40 / K40,000 Small Ads (21 - 40 words): KR80 / K80,000 Small Ads (41 - 60 words): KR120 / K120,000 Biz Zone (Commercial): KR225 / K225,000 Property Prowl: KR400 / K400,000 Deadline: 10th of the month preceding publication

Accounting Services: Annual Returns with PACRA, PAYE, payroll, VAT, company tax, registration of company, internal audit, submission of tax returns to ZRA. Also available; onsite training at special request. Call: Ganesh, Pro Acc Services Ltd, 0955 883-781, 0955 751-742.

DIAL-A-CAB 24 HRS 0955 773-937 / 0977 773-937 0966 222-222

Make your wardrobe work for your lifestyle. Book a Group or Personal Colour, Style & Wardrobe Planning Consultation with a Certified CHATA ROMANO Image Consultant. Contact: 0974 044850 or email: glenda@jiivanaservices.com

Need Landscaping, Digital landscaping design, manure, compost, maintenance of private offices and parks. Design-agardens. Karin Monge 0977 716-954.

North Kafue National Park. Mayukuyuku Bush Camp offers full board, and camping. Excellent game viewing and fishing. Access for two-wheel drive vehicles, 4 hours from Lusaka on good roads. www.kafuecamps.com | info@kafuecamps.com

Pet Travel - Import, Export and Microchipping. Pet Parlour - For all your grooming needs. Pet Boarding - In our country kennels. Contact 0211 265-197 / 0968 883-284 / petvetzambia@gmail.com

Showgrounds Vet Clinic - Dr. Lisa Oparaocha | For Veterinary / Grooming: 0977 770-940, showgroundsvet@gmail. com | For Pet Shop (Spoiled Pets): 0967 764-825, esuesta@yahoo.com

Turn your kitchen scraps & garden trimmings into a rich organic compost in Five easy steps with a Green Genie Home Composter Bin. Contact: 0974 044-850 or email: glenda@ jiivanaservices.com for more details.

Property Prowl

Compost & Manure: Quality guaranteed! Compost: 25kg bag for KR45 / K45,000. Manure: in 50kg bag for KR20 / K20,000. 10 bags free delivery in Lusaka. Shaun 0976 030-311.

For Rent: Siavonga Lodge. Seasonally available from May to August. The Great Escape. Lodge sleeps up to 15. Rooms: 1 double en-suite, 2 double bedrooms, 1 dorm style room sleeping 8. There are 3 toilets and 4 showers, a self catering kitchen and living room. The property has an excellent boat launch and sandy beach. Perfect for fishing groups or shared family getaways. Furnished, Zesco, staff on request. 5 minutes from Siavonga Town. Boat rentals by arrangement. Excellent Value. Contact: john100ss@hotmail.com or micearenice@hotmail.com or castlesiavonga.weebly.com