The Lowdown - 2015-03 March

Vol. 21, No. 03, 2015

March

New Arrivals @

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We have brought in lots of colour!

Next Import of Products Arriving 28th February. 

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

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Zacaria Phiri Still Going Strong

3

Book Review

23

Need to be Picked Up?

4

The Cat O’ Nine Tales

24

The Devil is in the Detail

5

Girls, Girls, Girls!

28

The Transition: Michael Sata to Edgar Lungu

6

A Sense of Mission

28

Mind Your Manners

30

Star Gazer

9

What’s Happening

31

In the Garden

11

Restaurants

40

Birds, Bugs and Bushes

12

Employment Sought

42

Fool On The Hill

13

Small Adverts

43

Mole In The Hole

20

Front Cover Photograph: Creative Nature

by Louann Chalcraft Editor: Heather Bender Chalcraft Layout & Design: Louann Chalcraft Published by: LH Publications Limited, Plot 8747, Buluwe Rd, (Off Leopards Hill Road), Woodlands.

PO Box 36666, Lusaka, Zambia. +260 211 266-353/266-287 editor@lowdownzambia.com www.lowdownzambia.com Winners of the 2011 Africast Tourism Journalist of the Year Award Advertising, Subscriptions and Distribution: ads@lowdownzambia.com Printed by: New Horizon Printing Press Ltd, PO Box 38871, Lusaka, Zambia. +260 211 236-637 1

Zacaria Phiri Still Going Strong Not having done much travelling of late, I have not been exposed to Zacaria’s antics along the roads. But a weekend trip to Serenje brought it all back, with force.

Pulling up at the road block between Kapiri Mposhi and Kabwe, I greeted the officer with a polite ‘good morning’. There was no reciprocal greeting, but I let it pass and handed over the requested driving licence instead.

Whilst the officer disappeared to the back of my loaded pickup, I thought nothing of it because I knew that everything was in good working order – brake lights, tail lights, indicators, number plated. I was completely relaxed.

Returning to my window, the officer proceeded to tell me that I had an ‘unsecured load’. Having driven thousands of kilometres with the same equipment tied down in the same manner, I told him there was no way the load was unsecured.

He then tried to tell me that because of the load I could not see through my rearview mirror. By now I had realised that the officer was completely ignorant of the finer points of the Act. Rather than pointing out to him that I could in fact see, I instead explained that this was a pick up which is used for carrying loads and that was why the vehicle was fitted with wing mirrors, both of which were in perfect shape on my vehicle.

So great was his ignorance and so great was his determination to extract some money from me, that he didn’t stop there; he kept going.

The next fault was that my load extended over the back of the vehicle and I didn’t have a ‘triangle’ tied onto it. Although I didn’t need it, this was final confirmation that he was not conversant with the Act. I pointed out to him that the overhang of the load was well within limits (about ten centimetres) and that it didn’t even extend over the edge of the rear bumper. Still very relaxed and warming to the task, I then

told him that if in fact my load did extend pass the limit, it was a red flag that I should have, NOT a triangle!!

Really getting going, I told him that I thought he was trying to get me to pay a bribe to him and it was people such as him who gave the whole Zacaria Phiri a bad name.

Now in full sail, and really enjoying myself, I proceeded to deliver a sermon on how much damage this in turn does to the country as a whole. Still in midflight, my driving licence was virtually flung through the window as Zacaria started moving away from my vehicle whilst telling me to ‘just go’.

Only after I had pulled away, laughing at what had happened, did I see a more senior officer had managed to extract himself from the comfort of the ‘office’ and was striding towards us. There was no commotion to investigate because my voice was calm and even. Perhaps he was coming to see why I had been there so long. Or could it be that he was coming to find out why extracting a bribe was taking so long? Maybe it was just time for him to relieve himself and he was on his way to the roadside ablution block.

Whatever it was, myself and my colleague had a good laugh as we made our way back to Lusaka.

3

Need to be Picked Up? Zambians travelling to South Africa are always apprehensive. We hear stories of the many incidences of crime and the violence that often accompanies it. If travelling by air we are warned that airports are popular places for thieves and muggers to hang out.

Speedy offers a range of services. He does airport pickups with transfers to anywhere in Durban or even as far afield as Pietermaritzburg or Mooi River. This could be very good for children returning to school who fly to Durban.

Taking a cab is also a risk. How does one know that the cab is a legitimate operator and that you are not going to be whisked away at high speed to a deserted back road to be relieved of your hard-earned forex. Or worse still, your life.

For those staying in Durban who don’t want to drive, Speedy can do it for you and he will wait at the doctors’ surgery. Or he will drop you at the shopping mall and collect you again a few hours later.

Zambians travelling to Durban can now be relieved of this anxiety by using the services provided by ex-Zambian, Peter ‘Speedy’ Morris.

To avail yourself of this service, contact should be made in advance to obtain a quote based on your exact requirements. For our more mature citizens, Speedy does offer preferred rates for those over 67 years of age.

Don’t be put off by the ‘Speedy’ – this is nothing to do with his driving but is instead to do with his lack of prowess on a hill climbing exercise at school back in 1965.

He was still on his way up when the others were halfway back down.

4

For further information, contact Speedy’s Shuttle Services via email pcmorris@smack.co.za, by phone +27 82 5744 719 or through Facebook www.facebook.com/SpeedysShuttleServices

The Devil is in the Detail A few weeks ago, at Crossroads Shopping Centre, I was handed a six page, A4 brochure emblazoned with the Zambia Tourist Board logo.

Brilliant! ZTB is promoting tourism which is their remit and, it seems, local tourism.

With the improved incomes and lifestyles of many of our citizens, local tourism should be an important part of our economy.

Traditionally, ZTB (or their predecessor, ZNTB) have always targeted international tourism, virtually ignoring local tourists.

Getting home, I took a few minutes to peruse the brochure.

What a disappointment!

• Malawi, Democratic Republic of the Congo, Africa and December written with no initial capital letter; • ‘DGP per capital’ which we assumed is GDP per capita; • An incorrect web address for the Department of Immigration; • American spelling of words; • Walking safaris described as ‘hi-action’; • A full page devoted to Lusaka, with photos of hotels, conference centres, shopping malls. Surely South Luangwa or Kafue Game Park should have been allocated this space and Lusaka the oneeighth page that South Luangwa got.

But the worst was yet to come – in big bold letters on the back cover ‘Intimate and Unmarched Wildlife …’ and a slightly smaller heading ‘a friendly and welcomiming people’.

Publishing a magazine every month we, of all people, know how typing or spelling errors creep in. It is a well known phenomenon that the person who typed the article will miss any typing errors. It is for this reason that we try to have every article read by someone other than the writer before we go to print, but sometimes with the craziness that goes on during our monthly deadline, this doesn’t always happen.

But this brochure was only six pages; hardly an enormous task to proof read it.

We are sure we could easily find a few hundred people who would, on a volunteer basis, be willing to proof read all ZTB’s publications prior to printing. We at The Lowdown would willingly do it. Getting the grammar, typing, abbreviations and spelling correct is such an important part of any marketing material and this is a glossy brochure marketing our country; it is not a flyer being handed out at the traffic lights advertising services to get lost lovers back or to increase the size of ones manhood – these errors are expected in such flyers. The money spent from ZTB’s limited budget has been wasted and their excellent initiative in producing this brochure has come to nought.

As the saying goes … the devil is in the detail, and in this case, attention was not given to the detail in the brochure.

Please ZTB – let’s get it right in the future!

5

The Transition: Michael Sata to Edgar Lungu “I, Edgar Chagwa Lungu, do hereby solemnly swear, that I shall ….. And so help me God.” And so it came to pass. Zambia’s sixth President was declared winner late into the night of Saturday, 24 January, beating 10 other candidates. Within 12 hours of the declaration by the Acting Chief Justice, Lombe Chibesakunda, the newest President in Africa took the Oath of Office and was installed at a colourful ceremony at the Heroes Stadium in Lusaka to take over from Michael Sata, who had died in London in 2014.

For Zambia, the presidential election held on 20 January and the installation of the new president was yet another epochmaking and no less eventful landmark in one of Africa’s most peaceful nations. It was the former British colony’s third peaceful transfer of power within the same political party after the late Levy Mwanawasa succeeded Frederick Chiluba in 2001 following the latter’s successful completion of his constitutional two terms, and in 2008, when Rupiah Banda succeeded Mwanawasa on his demise that year.

More significantly, Zambia also had two peaceful transfers of power across partisan lines. In 1991, UNIP’s Kenneth Kaunda, the first president of the country, conceded defeat in the elections held to re-introduce multi-party democracy. And two decades later, in 2011, the ruling MMD party’s candidate, Mr Rupiah Banda, conceded defeat, albeit in teary, melodramatic events, and handed over the instruments of power to Michael Sata of the Patriotic Front. These are rare events for the African continent; but more about that later.

Let us fast-forward to the present. Who is Edgar Lungu? Aged 58, and a lawyer by profession, My Lungu is married to Esther and has six children. The couple have been blessed with eight grandchildren to bolster the family lineage. He was born at Ndola Central Hospital on 11 November, 1956.

But his parents moved to Kitwe, where he grew up at House Number 4001 in Chimwemwe Township on the northern approaches of the city, and, for his high 6

school, went to Mukuba Secondary School on the other side of town.

For his tertiary education, Mr Lungu did his law studies at the University of Zambia where he graduated on 17 October, 1981.

The following year, he successfully did his law practice qualifying studies at the Law Practice Institute, today’s Zambia Institute of Legal Education, which he completed in 1983. With this newly acquired practicing “license”, he worked at the Ministry of Justice, Barclays Bank Zambia Limited and ZCCM, before finally settling at Andre Masiye and Company, a Lusaka law firm.

During the Chiluba administration, the public servant in him discovered that the courtroom was not big enough to accord him the necessary space to contribute effectively to changing people’s lives, a major factor that dictated his entry into politics. It was a moment of serious political polarization, with poverty hitting the roof among the citizens, rising unemployment as the parastatal sector vanished and a civil society permanently on the edge, frequently taking authorities to task and demanding solutions to the most pertinent national problems.

Keen to contribute to the change he wanted to see, Lungu subsequently joined the political fray, aligning himself with the United Party for National Development. He took a shot at the Chawama Constituency south of the capital city, but lost in his first attempt. He quickly moved away from the party to join the Patriotic Front of Mr Michael Sata, in whom he saw an aggressive and shrewd tactician and political organizer. (see Lowdown issue of January, 2015.) When leaving the UPND, Lungu declared: “In politics, you need a proper mix of politicians and managers, which is what I find in the Patriotic Front and (in) President Sata.”

He may not have been far from the truth.

Standing on the PF ticket in the 2011 general elections, he was elected MP for Chawama. In the new Government, he started off with the not-so-touted lower

Local and foreign election monitors at the Totalling Centre ensuring that the election was “free and fair”.

rank of Deputy Minister in the Office of the Vice President. But in one of the most meteoric rise in the political arena, he was soon promoted to full cabinet minister in charge of Home Affairs. At the resignation of Geoffrey Bwalya Mwamba, and the firing of Winter Kabimba in 2014, Lungu assumed both the key Ministries of Defense and Justice, respectively, in pretty quick succession.

Voters queue in-spite of the rain to cast their votes at John Howard Polling Station.

On the partisan side, he was also appointed secretary general of the PF. In the short period, his responsibilities also included chairmanship of the PF disciplinary committee, as well as the presidency of the All African Parties, a Pan-African body of political parties created in 2013 to promote their interests. He was clearly the party’s and government’s fastest rising star, and it was a matter of time before he assumed even bigger responsibilities.

Mr Lungu’s ascendancy to the presidency was not delivered on a silver plate. He faced two hurdles: firstly, he had to be elected at a general conference as the PF’s leader taking over from Mr Sata; and, secondly, he would now have to face off in the national presidential election against Mr Hichilema, and the contest at that level was not a fore-gone conclusion, as the unfolding events would show.

The new President, Mr Edgar Lungu, addresses invited guests at the post-swearing-in luncheon at State House.

Above: Zambia’s first female Vice President, Mrs Inonge Wina, takes the Oath of Office at State House.

Below: The Chairperson of the Electoral Commission of Zambia announcing the results at the National Totalling Centre.

The battle to win the party presidency was the biggest hurdle; and for one major reason: the party was divided right through the middle, between those who wanted the PF Central Committee to elect the party president, and, therefore, the candidate, and those demanding the general conference. Guy Scott, who was the acting President for both the country and the ruling PF, ruffled quite a few feathers in his preference for a conference, arguing that he would not accept short cuts to the process, a view that did not go down well with some party stalwarts who wondered whose agenda he was driving.

Eventually, Scott fixed Saturday 29 November as the date of the conference, but it was a fractious, divisive affair.

Delegates poured into the Mulungushi Rock of Authority on the Friday before the single 7

agenda item conference. On Saturday, when the acting president was expected to open the conference he did not show up.

On Sunday, when delegates were supposed to be going back to their various villages and towns, Dr Scott was still nowhere to be seen. The Chairperson of the Party, Inonge Wina, grasped the gauntlet and opened the meeting and, by acclamation, the returning office declared Lungu as the duly elected president of the party and candidate for the elections.

On Monday, when most of the 5,000 delegates had departed from the conference site, Dr Scott arrived, and “opened” a second conference which, reportedly with less than 1,000 participants, overwhelmingly elected Miles Sampa, a former deputy minister of Commerce and Industry, and Member of Parliament for the Matero Constituency, as the president and candidate for the party. It was an interesting case of “one party, two presidents”!

And then a flurry of petitions, injunctions and counter injunctions followed on the political platform and in the courts of law, spiced with firings and suspensions, shaking the very foundations of the ruling party and making many to wonder where it would all end. Guy Scott announced that he had fired Edgar Lungu as secretary general; but within 24 hours, he quickly reversed the decision after fiery demonstrations overnight in which party cadres went violent burning tires and smashing cars and other properties around the capital city.

Within days, Mr Lungu took his own steps: he announced the suspension of Dr Scott as acting president of the party, and the latter went to court to stop the action. Mr Lungu also fired Mrs Bridget Atanga, his former deputy, whom Scott had appointed as acting Secretary General. Also in trouble was Sylvia Masebo, the chairperson for elections.

As the saying goes, when all was said and done, as the intra-party acrimony abated, the reconciliations began to manifest and sobriety returned in the ruling party after one of its most fractious periods in its short 8

24-year history, other parties, notably the UPND, had already started campaigning with its leader, Hichilema, holding rallies around the country. The PF recovered quickly from its internal troubles. But this partially explained why the opposition leader lost the elections by the narrowest of margins in the history of democratic elections in Zambia. Hichilema lost on a knife-edge differential of 27,757 votes out of a total votes cast of 1,671,662.

During and after the elections, Lungu had stated that he had no vision of his own and would pursue that of his predecessor to complete the many projects and programmes he had started. But soon after the elections, it became clear that Mr Lungu would be his own man. Right at the swearing-in ceremony, he left no doubt that he had hit the ground running. In his acceptance speech, he appointed Ngosa Simbyakula, the erstwhile minister of home affairs, as minister of justice, with specific instructions to oversee the quick adoption of the national Constitution.

One of Mr Lungu’s early executive decisions as he proceeded to set up his new Cabinet was to drop Dr Guy Scott as Vice President, a move that had been highly expected in the aftermath of the events prior to the elections. He made history by naming Mrs Inonge Wina, who became the first female Vice President in the 50-year history of the country.

The very first week showed that one of his major pre-occupations would be to take international relations and Zambia’s role in the world to another level, stating that Zambia had over the past three years of PF rule lost its spark on the global scene and he would work to reverse that. Walking the talk, he traveled to Ethiopia for the African Union heads of state summit and announced that he would travel to Angola and Zimbabwe. He had also invited the heads of state of Ghana and Tanzania to visit Zambia. Did you say you have no vision, Mr President? No Sir, you have a very clear vision!

by Robert Makola

by Gwyn Thomas

The Sky in March Neptune is the eighth and farthest planet from the Sun in the Solar System. It is the fourth-largest planet by diameter and the third-largest by mass. Among the gaseous planets in the Solar System, Neptune is the most dense. Neptune is 17 times the mass of Earth and is slightly more massive and is similar in composition to its near-twin Uranus, Neptune orbits the Sun at an average distance of 30.1 astronomical units. Named after the Roman god of the sea, its astronomical symbol is a stylised version of the god Neptune’s trident.

Neptune was the first planet found by mathematical prediction rather than by empirical observation. Alexis Bouvard observed unexpected changes in the orbit of Uranus which led him to deduce that its orbit was subject to gravitational perturbation by an unknown planet. Neptune was subsequently observed on 23 September 1846 by Johann Galle within a degree of the position predicted by Urbain Le Verrier, and its largest moon, Triton, was discovered shortly thereafter, though none of the planet’s remaining 13 moons were located telescopically until the 20th century.

Neptune was visited by Voyager 2, when it flew by the planet on 25 August 1989.

Neptune’s atmosphere has active and visible weather patterns. The planet’s southern hemisphere has a Great Dark Spot

Neptune Orbital Characteristics Epoch J2000 4537580900 km Aphelion 4459504400 km Perihelion Semi-major axis 4498542600 km 0.01 Eccentricity 64.8 years Orbital period 367.49 days Synodic period 5.43 km/s Average orbital speed Mean anomaly Inclination

259.885588° 1.767975° to Ecliptic

Longitude of ascending node

131.782974°

Argument of perihelion

273.219414°

Known satellites

14

comparable to the Great Red Spot on Jupiter. These weather patterns are driven by the strongest sustained winds of any planet in the Solar System, with recorded wind speeds as high as 2,100 kilometres per hour (1,300 mph). Because of its great distance from the Sun, Neptune’s outer atmosphere is one of the coldest places in the Solar System, with temperatures at its cloud tops approaching 55 K (−218 °C). Temperatures 9

at the planet’s centre are approximately 5,400 K (5,100 °C). Neptune has a faint and fragmented ring system (labelled “arcs”), which may have been detected during the 1960s but was indisputably confirmed only in 1989 by Voyager 2.

Neptune’s planetary ring system, is much less substantial than that of Saturn. The rings may consist of ice particles coated with silicates or carbon-based material, which most likely gives them a reddish hue. The three main rings are the narrow Adams Ring, 63,000 km from the centre of Neptune, the Le Verrier Ring, at 53,000 km, and the broader, fainter Galle Ring, at 42,000 km. A faint outward extension to the Le Verrier Ring has been named Lassell; it is bounded at its outer edge by the Arago Ring at 57,000 km.

Neptune has 14 known moons. The largest by far, comprising more than 99.5% of the mass in orbit around Neptune and the only one massive enough to be spheroidal, is Triton, discovered by William Lassell just 17 days after the discovery of Neptune itself.

Unlike all other large planetary moons in the Solar System, Triton has a retrograde orbit, indicating that it was captured rather than forming in place; it was probably once a dwarf planet in the Kuiper belt.

During 2015 Neptune will be in Aquarius and will only be visible from mid March through telescopes in the early morning.

On the 18 March it will be close to Mercury and the old crescent moon, near the Eastern horizon.

Diary of Astronomical Phenomena

During March the 5 major planets: • Mercury will be moving from Capricorn to Aquarius and be visible in the morning sky • Venus will be moving from Pisces to Aries and be visible in the evening sky • Mars will be moving from Aquarius to Pisces and be visible in the evening sky • Jupiter is moving through Leo and is prominent all night • Saturn is in Scorpio and is visible after midnight until morning 10

Physical Characteristics 24622±19 km Mean radius 3.883 Earths Equatorial radius 3.829 Earths Polar radius 0.0171±0.0013 Flattening 14.98 Earths Surface area 57.74 Earths Volume 17.147 Earths Mass 1.638 g/cm Mean density 11.15 m/s2 / 1.14 g Surface gravity 23.5 km/s Escape velocity 0.6713day / Sidereal rotation period 16 h 6 min 36 s 2.68 km/s / 9660 Equatorial rotation km/h velocity 28.32° Axial tilt 19h 57m 20s / North pole right 299.3° ascension 42.950° North pole declination

Meteor Showers gamma Normids

Visible 25/02 - 22/03

Peak 13/03

delta Pavonids

11/03 - 16/04

06/04

d 2 3 4 4 5 9 11 12 13 13 18 19 20 21 21 22 22 23 25 27 28 30 31

Event Jupiter near the Moon Jupiter near the Moon Regulus near the Moon Venus near Uranus Full Moon smallest Full Moon for 2015 Spica near the Moon Mars near Uranus Saturn near the Moon Last Quarter Moon gamma Normid meteor shower max.

Mercury near Neptune Mercury near the Moon New Moon Uranus near the Moon Autumn equinox Venus near the Moon Venus-Moon 5.9° Mars near the Moon Venus-Moon 8.2° at noon Aldebaran near the Moon First Quarter Moon Earth Hour Jupiter near the Moon Regulus near the Moon

In The Garden

In spite of good intentions to be an “organic” gardener, I sometimes come across an infestation of pests (like mealie bug, scale, caterpillars, cutworm, whitefly or aphids) that make me yearn for the Malathion. Luckily I don’t have any Malathion in the tool shed. So I sigh deeply and head for the chilli bushes. Plucking 20 or so red hot chillis, I put them in a jug, add boiling water and leave them to brew until the next morning. The liquid is then poured through a very fine sieve or a muslin bag so that I can use a handy mister to spray the pestilential insects. I suddenly remember that adding a few drops of “Sunlight” dish-washing liquid is a good idea. It’s termed a “wetting agent” and makes sure the liquid really dampens and sticks onto the surface of the leaf instead of running straight off. Leaves have this waterproof coating to protect them from heavy rain so you need the mild soapiness to counteract this. Don’t forget to spray the under side of the leaves. Some say that Sunlight on its own will do the trick. Others add crushed garlic or lantana leaves to the mixture. Experiment!

Almost anything with a strong smell will deter the pests.

Nature is on your side when it comes to organic gardening. Apart from home-made remedies, there are all the predator insects that Nature uses to keep its checks and balances in good order. These include small (very small and pretty and not-to-be-feared) wasps, lacewings and hoverflies. This type of insect feeds on nectar but their eggs and their larvae gobble up other insects including the dreaded aphids. Predator insects are killed by…you guessed it…. insecticides. Stop using insecticides and plant lots of the flowers that attract them. Coriander flowers, carrots and parsley left to flower, dill and fennel, alyssum and sunflowers, preferably in big patches that the predator insects can’t miss. They will soon multiply and take over the job of controlling pests in your garden.

Cutworms eat through the stems of seedlings at ground level during the night. If you find some of your seedlings have collapsed, dig round adjacent seedlings with a stick, a few centimetres from the stem. You will find a fat creamy/ grey coloured grub in the soil. Remove and dispose of!

Tolerate caterpillars unless they threaten to chomp every leaf on the plant. Then pick some off by hand. Use gloves!

The plant will survive and so will the butterflies. Beetles that eat lily leaves can also be removed by hand.

It helps a lot to catch the pest infestation early. So don’t ignore a plant that looks unhappy. It may just need more water but often it has been attacked by scale, or red spider mite or caterpillars that hide beneath the leaves. Check rose stems in particular for scale. In hot, dry weather, check underneath leaves for the almost invisible red spider mites. You can just see minute red dots moving under the leaf. All these pests suck sap from the leaves and starve the plant of its food.

Tip: if a stem or plant looks dead, scratch it with a fingernail. If you can see a green colour the plant is still alive and will start to shoot again if you are patient.

11

ilar Alcimus and the sim usts. loc ly st mo t Philodicus ea

Promachus; thes e - and the similar Bactria - prey various ly on flies, wasps and bees.

ly on Laxenecera prey most paper wasps.

by William van Niekerk

s e Pegesimallu T he wasp-lik d an es fli ts eats most ly ea bugs.

A Better Class of Robber

us Promach ecies of tse flies. p s e n o e At least t exclusively ts os eat alm

Smaller robber flies of the ge nus Ommatius prey on a variety of plant-sucking bugs.

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It is my suspicion that very few Zambians think of anything good when they think of flies. Between house flies and flesh flies spoiling food, horse flies and tsetse flies sucking blood, and - perhaps worst of all - vinegar flies spoiling wine and beer - a lot of flies have a lot to answer for.

But then there is this fly.

This unusual looking creature is a robber fly, of the family Asilidae (and the genus Alcimus); and although the ‘robber’ part of its name may seem unpromising, these flies are, in brief, good news. These are, in essence, a smaller, more agile dragonfly, usually with fairly specific tastes. This one eats mostly locusts; others eat stinging wasps and house-flies, and some - such as at least one species of Promachus eat almost exclusively tsetse flies.

So if - like many do - you are lucky enough to have flies like these around your house, please do yourself a favour, and leave them unswatted.

We six (5 blokes and 1 girl) have all known each other for years and are bound for Uganda, to celebrate our chum Ed’s 40th. I travel without my children so infrequently now, that to do so feels deeply strange; as if I am sitting on the plane in my underpants. Some complete arse suggests that if everyone buys a bottle of single malt in duty free then we can drink one a night and still allow for a night of abstinence. The other five all agree with me and we arrive at the Entebbe Guesthouse from Zambia, UK and Cape Town all suitably armed.

There’s a bump and a scabby cut on my head when we rise at 5am the next morning to start our 12 hour road transfer to Queen Elizabeth National Park. At some stage I recollect hazily, I awoke needing the loo, but the room I had a mental image of occupying in no way resembled the one I was in. There had been an unpleasant disagreement with the bedpost and a set of shelves and with a wall that had been moved during the night. Harsh words were spoken to unheeding objects. Ed was in a similar condition and some swine had vomited all over his bathroom into the bargain. Soon we were met by Hollie Manuel (aka Ma’Gog) provided by Safari Wildz for a week to guide us. At 32 she had the easy manner of a pioneer African with none of the pretentious airs, graces or claims to Masaai aristocracy or literary fame that seem de riguer for most white Kenyan girls. We boarded the Green Mamba, an ill-suited Hiace Regius 2 x 4 minibus that was to become our home for much of the next week and were off. Some 200km later I regained consciousness at the small roadside attraction called Equator which has grown around the point where the Earth’s waistband crosses the East-West route through Uganda. A surprising art gallery and coffee shop rubs shoulders with a row of curio stalls and bolstered by espresso, bream, bananas and retail therapy I was able to remain conscious for most of the remaining journey.

Uganda in a commendable attempt at stamping out corruption, has replaced its police force with speed-bumps. In almost 1000km we did not have to stop for a single road block, answer one inane question about our point of origin or destination, show any superfluous documentation or be divested of any cold drinks, crissips, cigarettes or newspapers. On the downside, this densely populated country has a village every 3-4kms along the main road and every village has a set of speed-bumps and each set is different. Some are a single tarmac dune which if hit at speed sends a vehicle airborne. Others are a series of Himalayas designed to shatter bone and maim at over 2km/hr. There is no consistency from town to town and no optimal velocity, knack or “best practice”. Each town also sports a slightly different fashion in coffins, many of which share the common feature of having windows set in the lid or side panels. A nice touch I felt, as far too often the deceased is marginalised at a funeral and misses out on all the fun. Another common feature throughout Uganda is the Pork Joint.

Each town had several of these roadside barbecues complete with a homemade smoker and promises of the finest schweinefleisch. Sadly not once did we see a pork joint in action and indeed in a whole week we saw only one pig, perhaps both are victims of their own popularity.

At last we arrived at our camp on the Kizingo Channel between Lake George and Lake Edward which appeared, rather disrespectfully I felt, to be called Queen Elizabeth’s Bush Eco-lodge. Mid-range but comfortable enough and sporting the least smelly en suite long drop I have yet to encounter. Banana leaves were placed on a steel plate within a thunderbox and once the offering was deposited a foot pedal was depressed and with a terrifying 13

bear-trap -SNAP the steel plate opened up to drop the parcel into a bucket below.

Some unfortunate soul later emptied this, presumably down the flush toilet in the manager’s house. The whole contraption was rendered odour free by the use of no less than six different air-freshening devices and petroleum based deodorisers surely resulting, despite the best of eco-intentions, in a massive carbon deficit.

If you have been lucky enough to spend time in Zambia’s South Luangwa NP, Lower Zambezi NP or even Kafue NP then don’t waste your time and money on the northern sector of QE National Park unless you have an unnatural affinity for Candelabra Euphorbia which make up 96% of the vegetation. There are many more interesting places to see in Uganda.

Four of my companions are birders ranging from bloody good to simply awesome. Jack the fifth musketeer and a farmer from Essex was interested, but a twitching virgin and I to my shame was not much better having guided in a time long ago when most birds 14

were still reptiles and most clients wanted Big Game and bigger yarns…. not LBJ’s.

Nonetheless in the absence of much furred game I was happy to be in such good company and the many new species of bird made the safari so much more interesting.

Away from the river, the slopes of the Albertine Rift are pockmarked with volcanic caldera some of which contain lakes in various degrees of barren saltiness with single buffalo trails staggering across the flats to end in a sorry carcass. Others contain bowls of lush forest and harbour elephant, buffalo, leopard and no doubt many endemic smaller creatures.

We took a guided boat trip on the channel which gave the bird-list a boost, but left us bothered by the nature of the beasts in the area. The buffalo herds congregate like cattle at the shoreline and lie with their wedding tackle in the water mere inches from enormous crocodiles and show no fear of being attacked by predators from whom they would have absolutely no chance of escape. At a nearby fishing

village the buffalo lazed in the shade of the Tarven wall like kachasu drinkers and were casually shoo-ed off the football pitch by schoolchildren in broad daylight for goodness sake. None of us could imagine a similar scene in any Zambian wildlife area that would not have resulted in certain extinction for such dozy bovines.

On day three we visited the Kyambura Gorge where we lowered the 85% success rate for tracking the family of chimpanzees that have been marooned by human encroachment in this small patch of habitat since 1964. The forest walk was quite stunning with several other primate species in evidence and some really special birds such as the black bee-eater. There are several plans to re-unite this island population with the chimpanzees in the huge and largely untouched Maramagambo Forest by providing them with a natural and safe corridor through the 6km band of human habitation which separates them from the nearest wild population. But so far nothing has been put in place. It would have been rather special to catch up with this peculiar group of hopelessly inbred and isolated primates……rather like going to Cornwall or Lusaka West; but alas it was not to be.

We headed to Ishasha the southern sector of QENP where the country was much kinder to the eye and open plains dotted with acacia and fig trees offered more promising habitat, and indeed the groups of Ugandan Kob and Topi became more common, although the famous tree climbing lions managed to evade us.

Another lodge, another version of an ecotoilet…..and another bottle of single malt and the following day we caught up with some arboreal lions on the way to Bwindi Impenetrable Forest. “Bwindi” it transpires also means “Impenetrable” which hinted that the going would be twice as difficult.

The Park comprises 32,000 hectares and is home to 120 species of mammals, including 14 species of primates, as well as 346 species of birds, 202 species of butterflies, 163 species of trees, 100 species of ferns and 27 species of frogs and lizards. Almost 15

half the world’s 880 mountain gorillas live in Bwindi and of these 3 groups have been habituated and some thirty permits are available three times a week to track them and spend an hour in their company. “Be ready at 7am and we’ll go down to the HQ” said Ma’Gog “They will look at the group to see how fit you are and then decide who gets to see the closest gorillas and who gets the group furthest away. It can mean the difference between 2 hours walking and 10.”

I had taken advantage of a free massage at the lodge and ironed out some of the battering we had all taken in the Green Mamba. Ed had malaria and we were all looking a little worse for wear, four bottles into our Scottish health regime.

Nevertheless when we joined the other hopeful hikers all of whom were retirees Kerri whispered “We’re screwed!” and sure enough we were allocated the Habinyanja group. These 18 gorillas (a Silverback Makala , one Black-backed male, 3 subadults, 6 adult females and 7 infants) had been seen the day before in a section of 16

forest a 30 minute drive away. From there it was a 2.5km, 45 degree hike through well populated farmland to the edge of the forest where we descended into what resembled an English woodland of mature beech. By this time I had already sweated a couple of litres and every ache from my recent skiing fiasco had re-emerged. I felt for Ed who was marching on in a malarial daze and at the height of his fever, sweating almost as much as me. I recalled from a previous trip to Rwanda in 1982 that the gorilla does not live in this pleasant, shady, open primary forest which to our eyes looks ideal but is actually a sterile environment at ground level. He prefers clearings opened up by forest elephant and slopes where the sunlight allows more luxuriant vegetation to flourish and even areas cleared by man for farming and reverting to secondary growth.

In short to find him one must boldly penetrate the impenetrable.

So another 3km and as many hours later we were sitting like olives in a giant bowl of Greek salad, in and amongst seven of the Habinyanja group including the colossal

silverback Makala who has led this band for fourteen years and gave not a hoot for our presence. Apart from a point when, feeling us mingling too freely with his harem, he charged bellowing down the slope to stop three feet in front of our position in the stream bed below him and rear towering above us while the guide tapped on a flimsy sapling with his panga. It was all over in a few seconds, but long enough for me to embrace the idea of being torn limb from limb just to get out of the 5km walk back to the Green Mamba. An hour passes quickly when you are sharing a squash court sized tropical hothouse of a ravine with a group of mountain gorillas. The guides slash at the vegetation so that you can get a good view.

You fiddle far too much with your cameras.

The younger members of the group investigate you and break the seven meter rule continuously and you marvel at their serenity and everyone farts….a lot.

My mate Rob expressed it well when he pointed out that something has gone terribly wrong with the social evolution of Homo sapiens when you consider the wars we

have fought, the atrocities committed and the technology required to bring us to this point of being able to safely put our lives on hold for a few weeks of the year and take a holiday. If we are lucky our neighbours are not threatening invasion and our home range is secure, our kids are well educated in life skills and we have all the material possessions we want and the resources we need to survive….so we can take the time out to relax.

Well hear this sermon on the mountain gorilla….they do not labour or spin, nor sow nor reap nor gather into barns and they spend most of their day doing sweet f***all! Rising around 0630hrs a gorilla does not make his bed, he craps in it and ambles away, as he will make a new bed for his midday siesta and another to sleep in that night. And while we’re on the subject scatalogical…..think on the gorilla’s bum.

He has no tail and his buttocks do not envelope and obstruct the exit point of his waste matter, nor does he clamp them tightly into a seat which further hinders free expulsion of unwanted poop. From 17

virtually any position your mountain gorilla can do his number twos and depart with a perfectly clean bum and thus has not wasted thousands of years of brain power inventing sanitation systems, porcelain ware and ever more fanciful quilted toilet paper.

He can eat the vast majority of his immediate vicinity and so is rarely out of arm’s reach of a snack and what he can’t eat he can lie on or under, so expends very little energy in a day labouring at all the complex behaviour we indulge in to achieve the end goals of food and shelter.

His distribution is equatorial so he doesn’t have to dress for extreme temperature variations and his territory a steep mountain range where he can locally find a microclimatic zone to suit himself at any time of day. It rains a lot, but like the British he is reconciled to that and it’s a warm rain anyway. He doesn’t even need virgin rainforest but could happily exist in a small vertiginous allotment overgrown by weeds if this wasn’t already “bagsied” by a few million Ugandan farmers. These gentle giants have it all sussed and are quite 18

happy to co-exist in close proximity to man rarely throwing their impressive weight around unless they are directly assaulted by humans or dogs. And they spend most of their time just hanging out digesting their food, making whoopee with each other and farting; moving only a kilometre or so each day before bedding down for the night.

Much sought after but seldom achieved behaviour in our own species apart from a few notable exceptions (see Heffner, Hugh.)

But do not envy them. They have no literature, no art, no music. They are marooned in all the universe on a few mountain tops in countries hungry for every scrap of land. Their silver backs are against the wall and before long they will exist only in small heavily protected reserves when all their forest has been sent to China. As we stagger down the mountain on wobbly knees I don’t envy us much either. We have 13 hours of speed-bumps and the last bottle and a half to get through before we can board the plane back to Lusaka and the respite of gainful employment.

in earnest discussion with the gate keeper.

There appears to be a mistake, they should not be there, they are immortal (For that is the only reason that the sundry drivers can excuse their antics on the road) and the politicians cannot possibly believe that they are like the great unwashed, the public, and have but a limited life span despite all the taxpayers money spent on trips to and stays at very expensive foreign medical establishments.

Staying Alive

As one gets older, the pains from joints increase, so do the financial headaches; the cost of school fees go up, the wages do not go as far as they should, the shrill demands from ‘er indoors for new curtains grates just a little more so “the alternative” seems to grow rather attractive. No more pain, no more strife, only one problem and that is how to get through the Pearly Gates!

Just imagine, you join the long queue of fellow Zambians patiently waiting for admission and along come the queue jumpers; on the inside lane, the mini bus drivers; on the outside lane, the illegal taxi drivers and other lunatics; they are all in a hell of a hurry. Nothing changes, but then there is a rumpus from behind and a bunch of people are elbowing their way through the crowd with large cries of “Give Way” as they push through the queue to get to the front where a bit of a commotion has started. The queue jumpers and the politicians (for they were the people who had barged their way through, led by some chaps with blue lamps on their heads) are

20

The Gate Keeper is calm, soothing and sympathetic. He understands and completely agrees that there has indeed been a mistake, they should not be there and directs them to the long escalator back down. It is only when you pass the escalator that you can detect just a faint whiff of sulphur wafting up from below.

The business of Staying Alive on the roads has become more difficult with recent innovations. On Leopards Hill Road a School Zone has been flagged up. Signs forbidding overtaking and limiting speeds to 60 and then 40 kph have been erected thereby creating a major problem. The law abiding citizens are impeding the progress of those who either cannot read or those who will not read. They promptly overtake these inconsiderate obstacles at high speed, scattering kids and others looking for safety. Oncoming traffic is dealt with by accelerating madly and putting headlights on; but only a day ago, three Land Cruiser Estates (No doubt containing people of incredible importance), lights blazing, came roaring through, forcing oncoming traffic to take to the verges where terrified pedestrians leapt into the bush to escape those who had been forced off the road. I can foresee

nothing but disaster. Either all the signs should be removed and all be aware of the high speed danger or the obvious remedy, the installation of speed bumps or humps, be carried out, in exactly the same way that schools are protected on the road out to Mumbwa. Requests for the speed restrictors have been made before but there are incredibly important people who do not want their progress impeded. There would be no need for them if all obeyed the law.

Further out Leopards Hill Road has been re made into a thing of beauty. When the Roads Agency held an environmental meeting so that the great unwashed could voice their concerns it was pointed out to them that the two small but sharp hills some 2 kilometres out from the State Lodge turn off posed a major hazard. In ideal circumstances the tops of the two hills should be removed and the material excavated used to fill the blind dip in between. The Roads Agency said that the area was “periurban” and profiling was not envisaged as being difficult for residents to access the road. We were told that speed

limit signs and double white lines would be put in and also some speed restrictors inserted and that we were not to worry.

At one point of danger a 60 kph sign has been erected, the corresponding one to the east was not. That speed limit sign has become the meeting point for bikers where they adjust their leathers etc before launching off on their high speed fun runs out to the east where they can exceed the limit by over 100%! All it takes is one child, goat or drunken chap on a “jinga” and that will be the sad end for another biker. Shame about the child, goat etc, but they are just another unfortunate statistic!

That first sharp hill is also a concern for the battered vehicles bringing in charcoal, tomatoes, veggies and the crowds of people sitting beside or on top of the loads. They come, early in the morning to evade any police road block, for the majority of them are defective in many ways and, when faced with the hill the motor often stutters and dies. Rocks are brought out to chock the vehicle and repairs are commenced, repairs

21

that can take minutes, hours or even days, all the while just below the top of a blind hill.

Now, who could really blame a truck driver, hurtling into town, steaming up the hill not noticing the dark, unlit, poor little truck half on and half off the road. Clatter and five more people find themselves standing in the queue at the Pearly Gates Who could also really blame anyone when two vehicles, overtaking at speed over the top of the hill meet another one coming the other way.

How inconsiderate of the chap to be there.

How lucky were the occupants of the BMW to walk out, unhurt from a vehicle that had been comprehensively panel beaten as a result. Just as lucky as the chap who had to take evasive action in a similar incident at the same place, being eventually brought to rest in the remnants of a brand new fence that stopped him before coming up against venerable, large and very hard trees. I don’t think that these incidents will end until the dreaded speed retarders are put in. Until then, as one wag put it, we could put a new Leopards Hill cemetery there for instant deliveries! I certainly think that we could save money by forgetting all the road signs 22

and the white lines in the middle of the roads which are just totally ignored by those that they were put there for.

So Staying Alive on the roads has become a little more difficult. If in doubt, try a little trip up to the Copperbelt where, between Kitwe and Chingola a dual carriageway is under construction. The original road, built by those Danish beer drinkers some 20 years ago has done incredibly well. Lacking any real form of maintenance and being continually battered by overladen trucks (The loads of which should all be on the railway) it has now succumbed and great trails of vehicles trundle ponderously along, weaving in and out of the potholes. This is an unbearable delay to people in fast vehicles and the ducking, weaving and the shaving off of the paintwork of the wheel arches of opposing vehicles seen there convinced me of two things; that you can get to the Pearly Gates there faster than working in the Chinese Explosives factory in Chambishi and it is really is time to invest in a helicopter.

Book by Mubanga E Kashoki

Professor Mubanga E Kashoki needs very little introduction, his unmistakable style may appear as business-as-usual in the first few pages, but once you have got twenty pages into the book you will not be able to put it down. He introduces it as ‘musing’s and ruminations of an armchair critic’. However, he has outdone himself with ‘What on Earth is a Ruling Party in a Multiparty Democracy’, by crafting this work as a writer rather than an academician.

We can only assume, without talking to the author, that he has picked on topics that are close to his heart. He discusses the role of chiefs and clerics in partisan politics, multilingualism in Zambia and the role of the media in promoting a culture of tolerance in a developing democracy.

Each section of the four-part, 14 chapter monologue is pinned on his consideration of the clash that can arise in an erroneous understanding of the relationship between culture and development. He is critical, sardonic, funny and provocative all in one paragraph, so don’t expect an easy read. You will find that Kashoki’s position on the topics he discusses leaves you either totally in agreement or at opposite poles; he is not a writer who allows his reader the luxury of sitting on the fence.

Among his previous books are academic expositions on language and its development, most of which are set books

in several linguistic courses when you are studying at the University of Zambia.

So it is no surprise that the greater half of the book under review is committed to language; aspects of its use and ‘misuse’.

Kashoki coasts easily from discussing the quirky language of the Zambian political class into a damning critique of a tertiary education system designed only for the classroom, with little scope for addressing the challenges of African development. He includes in this treatise the tabulation and discussion on the use of the several official Zambian languages as lingua francas.

Launched on time to commemorate our Golden Jubilee last year, this book is one of a set of three titles that we will review over the coming months. The others are ‘From Northern Rhodesia to Zambia’ and ‘From the Cam to the Zambezi’. More details are available from the Zambian publishers and distributors; Gadsden Books 0211 290-331 / 0211 290-326 or email gadsden@zamnet.zm. The author is currently a Professor of African Languages at the Institute of Economic and Social Research in the University of Zambia.

23

Royal Rescue In Ethiopia continued ...

Now the waiting was over for us, and David came awake just as soon as he heard the bleep from my alarm watch. I busied myself with a flashlight, making the pre-flight inspection of my Cessna whilst David did the same with his Piper. “We’ll take off in formation,” I said, “climb to eight thousand, and after we’ve cleared the high ground, we’ll get down to low level, hopefully avoiding any risk of being seen on radar”.

Engines roaring we turned into the wind and accelerated across the lake bed, then lifting as one, we turned to the northeast, where the early morning sky was now beginning to reveal the high mountains of Ethiopia. Ten minutes later we were over the Kumbi ridge and down again a dozen feet or so above the floor of the Rift Valley, the low altitude making our speed appear impressive, it got steadily lighter. In honour of the ‘Lion of Judah’ Haile Selassie, it had seemed appropriate to take as callsigns the names Lion and Leopard and I now switched to our frequency and called David.

“Leopard this is Lion, if this speed is OK for you, please formate on my port wingtip, Lion, over” “Lion this is leopard, the speed is just great, moving up on you now, over” I could now see the dark shape of his aircraft on the left. Turning north around a 5,398 foot unnamed mountain I made out the massive eleven thousand foot Soyema mountain range ahead.

“Leopard this is lion, I want us to keep those mountains between us and the army base at Arba Minch; our heading will now be north until we pass the mountain.”

24

David acknowledged, and our attention was again returned to skimming over the tops of the acacia trees and the small hillocks of the Rift Valley floor. We passed the mountain, and the needle of the ADF swung behind us as we avoided Arba Minch.

We had been flying over an hour now, just about half way to our goal. The early morning mist obscured Lake Abaya and I corrected course a touch to the East again, aiming to parallel the newly made Great North Road, but not to go too near it in case we were seen by the army Lake Awasa passed, and I broke radio silence to warn David that our target, Lake Langano, was some ten minutes ahead, We crossed the road, fortunately empty, and as I climbed sharply to kill the speed I recognised the zebra-striped microbuses described by Enzo, unfortunately on the wrong side of the river, where the only possible landing ground was marshy and of undetermined length. I dropped the undercarriage, selected full flap and used the radio one more time.

“Leopard stay up until I’ve checked out this group, I’ll give you the word to land, keep your eyes peeled for trouble, look out for aircraft from the north.”

I was lined up for the meadow and I pulled back on the throttles and landed in a few hundred feet, I turned round and taxied back to the start of my landing roll. The group were now running, splashing over the river and waving furiously. Keeping the engines running, I climbed out of the door easing a small pistol from my pocket, where I had kept it concealed, even from David. The first

man was just coming up to the ‘plane, his eyes widened as he saw the pistol.

“Tenestalin, my friend” I greeted him, “Please don’t be afraid, I just have to be sure you are unarmed.”

Quickly I ran my hands over him and then motioned him into the aircraft, several more of the party arrived to get the same treatment. The young women I was too embarrassed to search in such an intimate way, but perhaps dangerously wrongly, I figured that trouble would only come from a man. After I searched all the males in the party I climbed back in the plane, quickly radioed David to come in, it was now safe. I watched him land whilst I hastened my ten passengers on board, Leaving him his five, I closed the door, held the brakes and brought the engines smoothly to full power.

Praying as the ‘plane started rolling I switched the flaps to ten percent. I felt the aircraft lightening, as it raced towards take-off speed, but it was taking too long a time, and already small tree stumps were apparently rushing towards me. As I entered amongst them I paid one last despairing glance at the airspeed indicator, recognised flying speed, and gently eased the control column back. Stall warning blowing, the Skymaster leaped into the air as I eased the nose down again to build flying speed. The tree stumps were larger now but we were up and flying, and I soon had enough height to pull up the undercarriage. I gently turned to check David’s take-off, but he took-off well, using little of the makeshift runway, his five passengers weighed little more than a normal load for the Cherokee. For the last time I broke radio silence: “Lion to leopard, I’m now heading for base the quickest way, good luck, I’ll see you there.”

The power settings were now to maximum boost, if we had been spotted on radar things could start happening very soon.

The early morning sun had given way to cloudy weather, and as I clawed for altitude I headed for a welcome overcast sitting around the twelve-thousand foot high mountains to the South, David had kept at low level and I saw his flashing wings turn into a valley 26

between two mountain ranges, racing flat out right down on the deck. I turned my aircraft into the inviting embrace of a storm cloud, trading the turbulence for the security of zero visibility. Just before achieving this I saw a ‘VIC’ of three sleek MIG fighters racing low over Lake Abaya, ten miles away, just before the clouds enveloped me. I played it safe, and put another eleven thousand foot mountain between me and any possible airborne radar.

The rest was bathos. We landed again on Lake Stephanie, and soon, snarling along at low level, came David. We refuelled quickly, screened from the air by the tall trees of the island, gave our hungry and thirsty passengers the remainder of our stashed food and water, and were soon back across the Kenya border, thirty miles to the immediate south. We landed our aircraft at the Mweiga airstrip to transfer our passengers to road transport for the final run into Nairobi (thus avoiding the eagle eyes of the airport immigration officers).

My ultimate fright was to be accosted by a jovial Billy Woodley, the flying game warden of National Parks who greeted me with a smile, no doubt mentally counting the too many dusky ‘tourists’ transferring to the minibus. If he suspected anything, he was too polite, and too good a friend to mention anything, and soon the motley band were on the last leg of their journey to Nairobi. There they would report to the United Nations Commissioner for Refugees and obtain new passports.

There was a celebratory party that night for fifteen extremely grateful passengers and the two relieved pilots who had engineered another legendary escape to add to the tumultuous and chequered history of Ethiopia. A final word of warning to pilots this was a war condition with calculated risks being taken by experienced military-oriented pilots helping people who had to escape - or die. Let no one else try to load more than six people into an 0-2 Skymaster push-pull!

The next day Mike and Estelle were met at Lake Rudolf (Turkana), and his trophy Nile Perch fish was carefully loaded aboard.

“What an adventure you missed“ Mike told me.

Girls, Girls, Girls!

In their effort to deliver quality education to children in then Northern Rhodesia a cohort of Dominican nuns established schools in the territory: the Dominican Convent in Lusaka, Ibenga Girls in Luanshya, Ndola Convent, Kabwe Convent, one in Kitwe and Fatima on the outskirts of Ndola.

I was privileged to meet the pioneers of Fatima, the ‘girls’ not the nuns and one ‘boy’ now all in their fifties-odd at a gathering organised in Lusaka at the Alliance of Francaise by Mariam Gafala Hussein coproprietor of Le Bistro and educated by the Fatima nuns from 1963 to 1974.

More than thirty women turned up, one or two now permanently resident in neighbouring Zimbabwe and another further away in Holland, but most now living in Lusaka. The purpose of getting together was to create an association that would buttress the work of the official association of latteron fatimanians who run a facebook page.

Having been at the Lusaka Convent from when I was seven until I left secondary school in 1976, it was easy to identify with the stories that did the rounds of the large lunch table set up for this event. Some of the tales, sent us into peals of laughter as the ladies recalled escapades and old teachers who were often at pains to instil in us a code that promoted high academic achievement, performance, preparation for responsibility and all-round personal discipline.

Most of the schools were racially segregated before independence. Fatima was no exception. So the list of the pioneers is dominated by names such as Sillitoe, Stephenson, Harrington, De Beer, Faye, Thomson, Hall, Chipman, Koetzee, Domigen hailing back to Dutch and British heritage.

In 1964 they were joined by families such as the Mtine’s, Chiwilas, Betas, Dubes, etc.

Another feature of Fatima and the other convents is that they also admitted boys up until 1968. Joey De Beer, career banker and the sole male Fatimanian at the gathering went on to St Clements run by the Jesuits in Mansa and continued his education there until he was admitted to the University of Zambia.

by Mel Phiri

Other options for secondary school education for children of mixed race were found across the border in the Southern Rhodesian schools; St Johns, Mbakwe and Marists Brothers.

Fatima, unlike other schools was at the time strictly boarding, and in the very early days incorporated a tiny orphanage.

Students were encouraged to pursue mainly artisanal occupations, which was another feature of racial segregation inherited from the prevailing colonial system. Nurses, mechanics and boiler-makers are examples of the trades that the children were encouraged to aspire to. However, because the convent schools consistently produced the best O level results year after year, graduates of these schools had many more choices when they eventually left school.

An example is the first Fatimanian that I interviewed that lovely Saturday afternoon at the end of January, Evelyn Katongo, who had gone to Fatima in 1996 and then went on Nkrumah in Kabwe to read French furthering her training in Vichy and Lyon.

I was advised that notable political figures, such as the late Lucy Sichone, civic activist and lawyer had been at Fatima as well as the recently appointed minister of Commerce Trade and Industry Margaret Mwanakatwe. It was when the Zambian government decided to force a change in the privately run institutions, that many people chose to remove their children from some of the convent schools. The policy was wider Zambianisation in the staffing and more control over the curriculum – Fatima was one of the last schools to bow to the pressure of what then became known as grant-aided schools.

Like me, there was more than one person who had continued the tradition and placed their children and even grandchildren in schools run by the nuns, hoping in later years to pick up on the benefits that they had enjoyed from an education from the Catholics.

Anyone wanting to network with this group is welcome and should contact Evelyn on evelynmvula@gmail.com 27

A Sense of Mission

St Patrick’s Day, which is a regular activity of the Irish community in Zambia, is on March 17. But the crowning charitable social event, St Paddy’s Ball will actually go ahead on the evening of Saturday 14 March this year. To help me tie up this week of activities, with Development Aid I caught up with Oda, long-time member of the Wild Geese Society which welcomes the community of Irish living in Zambia.

For more than fifty years doctors and nurses and other professionals from Ireland have worked in Zambia, and these were preceded by Irish priests and nuns over a century ago now.

I had already gone through one of the publically available documents that illustrates the focus of Irish Aid work called ‘Northern Voices’ which catalogues the improvements and continuing development projects that were initiated in the Northern Province starting from 1982. The community-oriented thrust of Irish Aid work matches well the sectors they prioritise.

Basic to their programmes are Health, Education, Response to HIV/AIDS, Water and Sanitation, and local governance. At project level, one of the better known initiatives is the Breakthrough to Literacy Programme that produced significant amounts of material in local languages for school children in their early years.

Another good read for anyone wanting to understand Irish Aid is their current Country Strategy Paper (CSP) covering the five years from 2013–2017 which is available on request from the Embassy:

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“The proposed budget is €69 million or €13.8 million for each year. It is proposed to divide this between the outcome areas as follows: 45% for ‘Reducing Vulnerability’ and 50% for ‘Improving Service Delivery’. A further 5% is allocated for programme costs and includes a programme development, research and evaluation budget line. Of the total budget, approximately 56% will be delivered through Government systems. A further 11% will be allocated to Civil Society Organisations and 14% for direct implementation under the Local Development Programme in Northern Province.”

Northern Province is sparsely populated compared to other areas of the country, with diverse and isolated rural communities that are among the poorest in the country.

The difficulty of managing this vast area was addressed to some extent, when the Zambian government split the area into two provinces, renaming the northeastern part Muchinga Province in 2012.

However, delivering expertise, materials and monitoring the achievements and indeed some of the failures of projects is fundamentally challenging because of the distance of all the district headquarters from many basic services taken for granted in Lusaka, and other towns along the line of rail.

I searched for a little Irish poetry, to get some notion of the cultural impetus that encourages this Embassy’s interest in this remote part of Zambia on behalf of peoples whose livelihood hinge on subsistence farming and fishing. This and

the interpretation in their CSP that in Zambia the most vulnerable are ‘the elderly, women and children’ (sec 53, pg 15) kept bringing my thoughts back to the spirit of development aid. For some time I have been wanting to write about how to turn around prevailing attitudes on ‘who picks up the cheque’, or to use a more familiar phrase even after 50 years of independence from British administration ‘where the buck stops’.

Yeats is likely to be the best known Irish poet, but I wanted to find a later figure and discovered Seamus Heaney born in the year the Second World War began, 1939, and hope you will see fit to visit the site http://www.ppu.org.uk/learn/poetry/poetry_ otherwars3.html Aid has always had its critics, but it is hard to visualise a world without goodneighbourliness. A regular question that comes up is ‘what happens to the project when the vision-holders leave?’ And, to

return to my question of ‘who pays the bill’ development aid has joined the list of macro-economic strategies that include privatisation, Public-Private-Partnerships, foreign direct investment, etc. that have tended not to tap Zambian capacity well.

However, my scanty knowledge of the Irish is that they are hard-working and dedicated, yet always ready to look at the fun side of life. This is where the official work of the Irish Embassy ties up seamlessly with the expected Irish band, friendly football and ‘ceili’ traditional for this time of the year. One hopes that some of their spirit should have rubbed off on the many friends they have made in Zambia over the years.

Thank you, Ireland!

To get details of venues and charges for the various events beginning Saturday 7 March contact one of the Wild Geese on the following lines: 0953 558-898, 0966 452-202, and 0976 862-325.

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Mind Your Manners

‘You know what happened?’ followed by a few sentences in one of our Zambian languages was what we all heard. All of us queuing in the bank that day.

But when one is standing fourth or fifth in the queue, waiting to be served, one certainly doesn’t want to know what happened. Neither do we want to listen to any chit chat between the tellers. I said as much, and judging from the nodding of headings by my fellow ‘Q-ers’, neither did they.

I immediately regretted having spoken out loud because the two tellers at this small branch are delightful young ladies and always very pleasant and efficient. But this was the last day of the month, people were depositing salary cheques whilst others were collecting their staff wages.

There was no time for social chatter today; customers were waiting to be served. And my speaking out loud did have the required effect – the queue started moving pretty quickly (and I did apologise to both the tellers when I got to the counter as I had not wished to embarrass them).

Getting back to the office, we had a quick discussion about this incident. This is what we do because, after all, ‘everything is an article’. From this discussion, came an interesting perspective from a colleague who is more in touch with ‘the man on the street’.

She pointed out that Zambia today has a ‘working class’. Now this is not how you and I think of ‘working class’. No, it has been Zambianised and now means ‘I have a job; I am working’.

An interesting interpretation and I wonder if today’s working class, since the dictionary interpretation has been turned on its head, consider themselves a notch up on the social scale compared to their unemployed compatriots. And what would our social scientists: language experts and anthropologists make of this?

Our colleague in the office went on to say that when she had first deciphered that ‘working class’ held different connotations when used in Zanglish was as she overheard on more than one occasion people talking about how this person “now drives”. It’s tough to know where to start in Zambia. From the complex work ethics in industry, to the nasty culture of property grabbing down to the general interpretation of what constitute appropriate gifts at holidays like Christmas, Birthdays or indeed School Parties and Kitchen Teas!

I recall being brought up with very little cash allowed during school hours, being reminded often that there were so many people less fortunate than us and always being advised to dress down on regular visits to rural areas. This training as well as other rules which should provoke little controversy across religious and political lines included: picking up after ones’ self, not making personal remarks and realising freedom is reserved when it infringes on other people’s rights.

Some readers may already have put this article aside, dismissed as really out-dated, Victorian or unpleasantly middle-class.

After all we are in the 21st Century where throw-away is the order of the day and unbridled straight talk is regarded almost as sacred for underpinning Democracy, but there are grounds for concern, I believe – especially when life-skills education is the new smash-word and I am faced with the daunting challenge of trying to impart some positive value system on younger people around me.

The difficult issue to understand and visitors are the first ones to point this out, is that Zambians are viewed as very polite and hospitable. What makes the difference is when they are in a position of control e.g. cashiers, bus-drivers, bank tellers etc. So is this issue a reflection of the just over a century old move into the cash economy?

Does having money mean you have the right to forget your manners?

Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot. ~ Clarence Thomas 30

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2015 - 2024: International Decade for People of African Descent 2015: International Year of Light and Lightbased Technologies 2015: International Year of Soils Sunday 1 March: Zero Discrimination Day Monday 2 - Tuesday 3 March: Senses at Sensorium hosts Dr Clark for Botox and Restylane fillers. USD payment only.

Bookings: 0211 257-330, 0977 798-282 or 0969 740-440

Tuesday 10 March: St Patrick’s Week - The Gig. Venue: O’Hagan’s, Woodlands. Entry: Free. Band: The Bonny Men. Hosted by The Wild Geese Society. INFO: 0953 558-898, Kearns_andrew@yahoo.ie | 0966 452-202, oda.friend@gmail.com | 0976 862-325, mercer.rosie@gmail.com Thursday 12 March: Public Holiday. Youth Day

Tuesday 3 March: World Wildlife Day Thursday 5 March - Wednesday 8 April: Art Exhibition ‘Show Without A Name’ by David Makala, Mulenga J Mulenga, Owen Milyoni Shikabeta. Venue: Ababa House.

Saturday 7 March: St Patrick’s Week - St Patrick’s Supper. Venue: Lilayi Lodge. Band: The Bonny Men. Hosted by The Wild Geese Society. Price K350 per person. Four course Irish supper with Jameson cocktail. INFO: 0953 558-898, Kearns_andrew@yahoo.ie | 0966 452-202, oda.friend@gmail.com | 0976 862-325, mercer.rosie@gmail.com Sunday 8 March: Public Holiday. Women’s Day & International Women’s Day Sunday 8 March: St Patrick’s Week - Gaelic Football Day. Venue: Lazy J. Entry: Free.

Hosted by The Wild Geese Society. INFO: 0953 558-898, Kearns_andrew@yahoo.ie | 0966 452-202, oda.friend@gmail.com | 0976 862-325, mercer.rosie@gmail.com 31

Friday 13 March: The Lowdown April Edition Deadline.

Saturday 14 March: St Patrick’s Week - St Patrick’s Ball. Venue: Intercontinental Hotel. Tickets: K400 (K375 members).

Band: The Bonny Men. Hosted by The Wild Geese Society. INFO: 0953 558-898, Kearns_andrew@yahoo.ie | 0966 452-202, oda.friend@gmail.com | 0976 862-325, mercer.rosie@gmail.com Sunday 15 March: St Patrick’s Week - Family Ceili. Venue: Southern Sun. Entry: Free.

Hosted by The Wild Geese Society. INFO: 0953 558-898, Kearns_andrew@yahoo.ie | 0966 452-202, oda.friend@gmail.com | 0976 862-325, mercer.rosie@gmail.com Friday 20 March: International Day of Happiness Saturday 21 March: International Day for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination Saturday 21 March: World Poetry Day

Tuesday 24 March: World Tuberculosis Day Tuesday 24 March: International Day for the Right to the Truth concerning Gross Human Rights Violations and for the Dignity of Victims Wednesday 25 March: International Day of Remembrance of the Victims of Slavery and the Transatlantic Slave Trade Wednesday 25 March: International Day of Solidarity with Detained and Missing Staff Members Friday 27 March - Sunday 29 March: A Weekend with Dave Hughes. Venue: Lilayi Lodge. 27/03/15: A delicious 3 course meal while sampling 6 different malt whiskies, K300 per person. | 28/03/15: A 6 course tasking menu paired with 6 wines, K350 per person. | 29/03/15: Spend a relaxed brunch sampling a selection of craft gins, K300 per person.

Saturday 21 March: International Day of Nowruz

Friday 29 - Saturday 30 May: Lilayi Lodge.

Wine Weekend hosted by the acclaimed Catherine Marshall of Elgin Winery.

Saturday 21 March: World Down Syndrome Day

Thursday 2 April: World Autism Awareness Day

Saturday 21 March: International Day of Forests and the Tree

Friday 3 April: Public Holiday. Good Friday

Saturday 21 March: Nature Trails for Conservation. Raising funds for Game Rangers International. Time: Monthly, Third Saturday, 8am - 11am. Venue: Lilayi Lodge.

Come and enjoy 2.5km, 5.5km or 10km trails. Children and bicycles welcome.

Price: Adults K30 | Children K10. INFO: sarah@gamerangersinternational.org Saturday 21 March: The Lusaka Book Club is reading ‘Reading Lolita in Tehran’ by Azar Nafisi. Next month is ‘We Are Not Ourselves’ by Matthew Thomas. INFO: 0979 454-765.

Saturday 21 March: - Friday 27 March: Week of Solidarity with the Peoples Struggling against Racism and Racial Discrimination Sunday 22 March: World Water Day Monday 23 March: World Meteorological Day [WMO] 32

Saturday 4 April: International Day for Mine Awareness and Assistance in Mine Action Sunday 5 April: Public Holiday. Easter Sunday Monday 6 April: International Day of Sport for Development and Peace Tuesday 7 April: Day of Remembrance of the Victims of the Rwanda Genocide Tuesday 7 April: World Health Day [WHO] Thursday 9 April - Wednesday 6 May: Art Exhibition ‘Due To Public Demand’ by Lawrence Yombwe and Adam Mwansa.

Venue: Ababa House.

Sunday 12 April: International Day of Human Space Flight Saturday 18 April: Nature Trails for Conservation. Raising funds for Game Rangers International. Time: Monthly, Third Saturday, 8am - 11am. Venue: Lilayi Lodge.

Come and enjoy 2.5km, 5.5km or 10km trails. Children and bicycles welcome.

Price: Adults K30 | Children K10. INFO: sarah@gamerangersinternational.org ‘Craft Markets & Markets’ Dutch Reformed Craft Market. Venue: Dutch Reformed Church, Kabulonga. Time: Last Saturday of the month.

Foxdale Court Farmer’s Market: Venue: Foxdale Court, 609 Zambezi Rd, Roma.

Time: Sundays; 7am - 5pm. Locally grown fruit, vegetables, cut flowers, plants, fresh and dried vegetables. Support your small scale farmers. INFO: 0973 315-185, 0211 295-793, info@foxdalecourt.com, www.foxdalecourt.com St Columba’s Craft Market. Venue: St Columba’s Presbyterian Church, Nangwenya Rd. Time: First Saturday of the month. Come buy and sell, all welcome. Proceeds to church projects and community.

to Zambia are all welcome. INFO: soraya.king@hotmail.com HI Alumni. Lusaka Chapter. Time: Monthly third Saturday, 8am - 9am. Venue: Ndeke Hotel, Longacres. INFO: 0977 774-168, 0977 792-424 InterNations: Expatriates, expand your social and business network, join the largest fastest growing online community, mingle with other expats at our monthly events. Activities include lunch groups, dinner groups, Sunday afternoon coffee groups, photo walk groups etc. INFO: ireen.shalom@gmail.com or sarahe@tinytimandfriends.org or emmswood@gmail.com International Women’s Club. Meetings: First Wednesday of the month. Venue: Poolside, Southern Sun Ridgeway. New members welcome.

‘Business Associations & Community’

Lusaka District Business Association.

Meetings: Last Wednesday of the month.

Venue: ZCSMBA offices, Showgrounds.

Time: 2pm. A member of the Zambia Chamber of Small and Medium Business Associations (ZCWMBA). Come and enhance your business integrity. An ideal forum for sharing business knowledge, ideas, skills etc.

The Association of 41 Clubs of Zambia.

Meetings: First Wednesday of the month, (except Chingola - first Friday). Lusaka: No 1 Kunzubo Guest Lodge, Zambezi Rd, Roma, 6pm; Kitwe: No 2, The Ravens Country Club, 6pm; Ndola: No 3, Table Hall, Ndola, 7pm; Chingola: No 4, Golf Club, 6.30pm.

All ex-tablers welcome INFO: 0955 791414.

Rotary Club Meetings. Mondays: RC of Nkwazi; Barclays Bank Sports Club; 6pm.

Tuesdays: RC of Lusaka; Holiday Inn; 12.30pm. Wednesdays: RC of Maluba; Radisson Blu; 12.30pm. Thursdays: RC of Lusaka Central; Taj Pamodzi Hotel; 12.30pm. Fridays: RC of Pamodzi; Taj Pamodzi Hotel; 12.30pm. Saturdays: RC of Kusinta; The Courtyard Hotel; 9am.

Chishawasha Children’s Home has a regular stall at the Dutch Reform Church Craft Market. Available are hand-made crafts and quality second-hand books. Don’t miss this opportunity to support Zambian orphans.

INFO: 0211 214557, philplusm@gmail.com

Stuttering Association of Zambia. Meetings: Monthly, Second Saturday. Time: 2.30pm.

Persons who stutter or stammer, spouses of people who stutter, parents of children who stutter, speech therapists and anyone with an interest are welcome to join.

INFO: 0977 863-363, 0977 841-576, stutteringz@gmail.com

Konzani Gardens Market Day. Venue: Plot 7053/M Lusaka West. Buy and Sell vegetables, chickens, eggs, clothes, toys, books, paintings. Time: Last Saturday of every month, 9am on. Stands: K20. INFO: 0976 549-777, konzanigardens@gmail.com

Diplomatic Spouses Association (DSA).

Meetings: Last Tuesday of the month.

Members and spouses from diplomatic / international missions, honorary consulates & expatriate community accredited

Zambezi Toastmasters. Would you like to improve your public speaking? Venue: Lusaka Hotel. Time: Twice Monthly (Second and fourth Thursdays, 6.15pm - 8pm).

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Toastmasters in an international organisation that builds communication and leadership skills. INFO: 0978 390-464, 0979 454-765, or like ‘Zambezi Toastmasters’ on Facebook.

Zambian Women’s Institute: Meetings: Every Wednesday morning. Venue: Longacres (next to the Red Cross Building).

INFO: 0977 419-005, 0977 760-375, reginafinni@gmail.com ‘Faith-Based’ American Orthodox Catholic Church: Desire to celebrate the old Catholic Divine Liturgy (not Vatican). INFO: 0977 707-367.

Bahá’í Devotional Gathering: Venue: Bahá’í Centre, Alick Nkhata Rd, beside Mass Media Complex. Time: Sunday 10.30am - 12pm.

All are welcome. Children’s classes and Junior Youth Groups. INFO: 0975 179-967.

Baptist Mission of Zambia: Venue: Baptist Guesthouse, Corner of Nangwena Rd, Margrat Tembo. Bible Study. Time: Sunday 4.30pm. Times are tough, Life doesn’t seem to be getting easier, troubles everywhere you look - But there is hope. Classes for all ages. Come join us as we study God’s Word - the only hope for our daily lives! INFO: 0211 292-143 Eternal Life Fellowship: Venue: Old Black Velvet Building, The Groove. Time: Sunday 9am. INFO: 0211 294-430 or 0977 853-298.

Gospel Outreach Fellowship: Venue: GO Centre, Nangwenya Rd. Time: Sunday 8.30am or 11.30am. INFO: 0211 255-234, 0955 451-271 www.go.org.zm Greek Orthodox Mass: Venue: Hellenic Association Club, Kafue Rd. Time: Sunday 10am - 12pm.

Ladies Interdenominational Bible Study Group: Venue: St. Columba’s Church, Nangwenya Rd. Time: Wednesday 10am.

INFO: 0977 799-623.

Lusaka Family Church: Venue: Mulungushi Conference Hall, Mulungushi Village. Time: Sunday 9am - 11am. Children’s Church: 6 -12 yrs, Toddlers Zone: up to 5 yrs. Youth Life: Sunday 11am - 1pm, Life Groups: Thursday 7pm. INFO: Arnold 0211 29334

367, 0978 090-982, Gisela 0976 722-892, www.lusakafamilychurch.org Miracle Life Family Church: Venue: Miracle Life Family Church, Zambezi Rd, Roma.

Time: Sunday 8am or 10.30am. Dynamic children’s program for ages 3 - 12. INFO: 0211 292-286, www.mlfc.org Ngombe Family Church: Venue: Flying Angels Academy, Zambezi Rd. Sunday 5.30pm - 7pm. Wednesday evening Pastors Bible Study 6pm - 7pm. INFO: 0978 090982, 0977 607-087, 0978 959-571 Quakers who would like to contact other Quakers in Lusaka call 0966 761-754.

Redeemed Christian Church of God: Sunday Service: Venue: Chrismar Hotel Sable Conference Room, Longacres. Time: Sunday 8am - 10.30am. Bible Study. Time: Wednesday 5.30pm - 6.45pm. INFO: 0977 866-066 Rehoboth Assembly: (Redeemed Christian Church of God). Venue: Plot 7449 Cnr Katopola & Twikatane Rd, Rhodespark. Time: Sundays, 9am 11.30am, Thursdays, 5.30pm - 7pm.

INFO: 0955/ 0966/ 0977 710-440, rehobothassembly@gmail.com South City Church: Venue: Baobab College Hall, Sunday 9.30am | Zebra Crossings Cafe, Sunday 4.30pm. INFO: 0978 289-998, info@southcitychurch.net, www.southcitychurch.net Zambia Messianic Fellowship: Venue: 34285 Shantubu Rd, Rockfield, Lusaka. Sabbath meeting. Time: Saturday 10.30am - 12.30pm. INFO: 0977 858-061 zmf@microlink.zm www.zambiamessianicfellowship.info ‘Four-Footed, Feathered and Environment’ BirdWatch Zambian (formerly Zambia Ornithological Society) meets once a month for a bird walk in the countryside. BWZ members, their families and friends head to the woods and wetlands around Lusaka and beyond. Walks are led by experienced birdwatchers who guide both newcomers and long-term birders through a morning of

observation and exploration. INFO: 0977 485-446, www.birdwatchzambia.org Dog Training. Venue: Showgrounds, Lusaka & District Kennel Club. Sundays.

Learn to teach your dog good manners, general obedience and some seriously impressive tricks! Bring along your dog with his lead, collar and valid rabies certificate (and some patience) and join us for some fun dog training! INFO: 0962 001-686 lusakakennelclub@gmail.com Lilayi Elephant Nursery (Game Rangers International). Elephant viewing times: daily 11.30am - 1.30pm, all year. Venue: Lilayi Elephant Nursery, Lilayi Rd, 6km off Kafue Rd. Watch the elephants feeding and playing from the viewing platform. No fee, donations gratefully accepted. INFO: www.gamerangersinternational.org 0975 615-149, sarah@gamerangersinternational.org Lusaka Animal Welfare Society (LAWS).

Donate K100 to become a member of the only organization in Lusaka that takes care of abandoned or neglected domestic animals. You also get a LAWS key ring and 20% off all LAWS functions. INFO: 0966 005-297 (0966 00LAWS) Nature Trails for Conservation. Raising funds for Game Rangers International.

Time: Monthly, Third Saturday, 8am 11am. Venue: Lilayi Lodge. Come and enjoy 2.5km, 5.5km or 10km trails.

Children and bicycles welcome. Price: Adults K30 | Children K10. INFO: sarah@gamerangersinternational.org Wildlife & Environment Conservation Society of Zambia (WECSZ) Lusaka Branch. Meets once a month for ecological talks and lectures led by experienced conservationists. Last Thursday of every month. Venue: Gerritz Restaurant, 26 Chaholi Rd, Rhodes Park. Time: 6pm to 8pm. Free for WECSZ members while others may attend paying a token K20.

Membership forms, publications are available at the meeting. INFO: Patrick or Maldrine at the Wildlife Association Office, Longacres. 0211 264-432, money@coppernet.zm

‘Health and Sporting’ 12 Step: Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA).

Time: Saturday, 4pm to 5.30pm - 17:30 Cathedral of the Holy Cross (Upper Room, East Wing), Ridgeway. A program for men and women, who grew up in alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional homes. We meet to share our experience and recovery in an atmosphere of mutual respect. INFO: 0967 980-229, aca.lusaka@gmail.com (Int website, www.adultchildren.org) 12 Step: Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) Lusaka. Time: Monday, 5.30pm - SHARPZ, 220C Mutandwa Rd, Roma. | Tuesday, 12:30pm – Kalemba Hall. | Friday, 5.30pm - Cathedral of the Holy Cross (Upper Room, East Wing), Ridgeway. INFO: 0973 154-222, 0954 210-446 12 Step: Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) Livingstone. INFO: 0962 804-137 12 Step: Al-Anon. Time: Wednesday, 5.30pm to 6.30pm - SHARPZ, 220C, Mutandwa Rd, Roma. A group for relatives and friends of alcoholics where they can come together to share their experiences, strength and hope. INFO: 0977 697-628, 0966 621-806, lusakaafg@gmail.com (Int website, www.alanon.org.za) 12 Step: Codependents Anonymous (CoDA) Women’s Support Group. Time: Thursday 5.45pm to 7pm - SHARPZ, 220c Mutandwa Rd, Roma. A fellowship that helps women learn to look after ourselves, share experiences, strength and hope. INFO: 0962 213-708, coda.lusaka@gmail.com (Int website, www.coda.org) Aerobics by a Personal Trainer: Venue: Kaingo Leisure, Barclays Sports Complex, Club Rd (Showgrounds). Time: Tuesdays, Thursdays 6pm - 7pm. K25 / session. INFO: 0977 174-140.

Aikido Classes: Beginners welcome.

Venue: Central Sports Club, Longacres.

Time: Monday, Wednesday 5pm – 6.30pm.

Price: K20 / month INFO: 0972 260549, chisangakaluba@yahoo.com (1 Dan ITAF China).

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Ashtanga and Pre-Natal Yoga classes. In the comfort of your home. Individual classes: K300 per class. Group sessions: K100 per person, per session. Contact: 0978 507-986, 0966 507-986.

Beginner Belly Dancing. Venue: Shakespeare Court, Leopards Hill Rd. Time: Wednesdays 6.30pm - 7.30pm. Saturdays 10am - 11am. Cost: K50 - Small classes designed to give all women the opportunity to learn. No previous dance experience required. INFO: www.shimmyglisten.com or elisabeth@shimmyglisten.com Beginners Polocrosse. Venue: Leopards Hill Polocrosse Club. Time: Tuesdays.

Introducing riders of any skill level to Polocrosse. Age 12+. The clinic will give you an easy, no pressure, leg up to start you playing. INFO: 0978 777-728.

Chilanga Hackers Golf Society welcomes golfers of all abilities to join in the fun of convivial golf and interesting social activities in a pleasant atmosphere with emphasis on friendship and enjoyment. INFO: 0211 290-818 (evenings), 0977 790-900, seawing@coppernet.zm Children’s Playgroups and educational activities. Baby groups, toddler and pre-school. From 0 - 7 yrs. INFO: kidsclub.lusaka@gmail.com Counsellor / Therapist: For handling Depression, Stress and Anxiety, Drug or Alcohol abuse, quit smoking, etc - using Hypnotherapy and NLP. INFO: 0955 999727, priyabala@microlink.zm Cricket. Venue: Lusaka South Country Club, Mukwa Rd, Lilayi. Country & Districts cricket. Home and away matches, Kids coaching, tours and T20 tournaments. Time: Practice Wednesdays, Fridays 5pm. Kids coaching, Saturdays. INFO: 0977 860-797, 0966 437-808, 0966 751-643.

Dynamic Diabetes Support Group. Time: 2pm - 4pm, Fourth Saturday Monthly.

Venue: Umoyo Centre, Great East Rd. A safe place where those who are Type 1 and Type 2 Diabetic can meet and share their experiences and learn about new medical research, as well as alternative therapies.

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Different endocrinologists and specialists will be brought in as speakers. Diet, recipes, exercise, stress, symptoms and treatments will be discussed. INFO: 0978 028-146 Karate & Weapons Training. Venue: Lusaka Showgrounds. Luke 5th Dan. 0977 314-511 / 0978 710-102, lukphiri@yahoo.com Lusaka Dolphins at Lusaka Amateur Swimming Club. Venue: Olympic Pool.

Group training for competitive swimmers; ‘learn to swim’ for non swimmers; or ‘swim at my own pace’. INFO: 0966 761-547 Lusaka Hash House Harriers. Time: Saturdays, 3pm. Meet new friends and join us for a run or walk in the bush. INFO: lusakahash@zambia.co.zm, G2S 0971 946937, CM 0977 159-935, Thickette: 0978 532-744, or visit our facebook page.

Martial Arts. Karate Classes. Weapon classes for brown and black belts. Monthly self defence classes. INFO: Raymond (7th Dan) 0977 783-537, shihanray@hotmail.com Mazabuka Tennis Club. Ladies tennis every Tuesday morning at 07:45. Mixed tennis every Saturday afternoon at 16:00.

Meditation. Brahma Kumaris Raja Yoga Meditation Centre. Opposite Northmead shops. Monday - Saturday 5.30pm and Sundays 2pm. Free introductory courses. INFO: 0211 250-685 / 254-518 bkrymc@zamnet.zm Mountain Biking Club Leopards Hill.

Open to adults for Saturday morning fun mountain bike in the bush. INFO: mtblusaka@gmail.com Optimyze Kare Health. Time: Last Thursday of the month; 5pm. Advice on all aspects of health (fitness, diseases, nutrition, mental health, beauty, lifestyle and wellness, and different alternative and complementary therapies) addresses by professional speakers. The purpose is to teach you to be ‘whole’ naturally. INFO: 0955 / 0966 847777, optimyse@gmail.com Polo X. Venue: Lusaka South Country club, Mukwa Rd, Lilayi. All skill levels welcome.

INFO: 0979 505-152.

Running Group. Time: Sunday 6.30am.

Trail & road. Mixed running ability. Options

to modify distance (between 10 - 17 km).

INFO: 0977 801-463, c_ngoma@yahoo.com Salsa Dance Classes. Mondays and Fridays 6.30pm Intercontinental Hotel. Thursdays 6.30pm Melsim Lodge, Alick Nkhata Rd Cost: K30. INFO: 0979 400-538 Self-Defence (Short Courses): Practical, easy to learn for youths, women or security personnel. Children & adult Karate Classes also offered. The instructor is the All Japan Martial Arts Federation - Zambia President & Chief Representative. INFO: 0977 783537, shihanray@hotmail.com Skydive Zambia (ZUSC): Special offer on Tandem dives, no prior training required. INFO: antoinettedurand46@gmail.com, 0966 622516, rowles.dave3@gmail.com, 0977 790500, edmund@skytrailszambia.com Soccer For Kids: Little Eagles Soccer.

Time: Saturday / Sunday 9.30am. Ages 3 - 12: Barclays Sports Club. Ages 6 12: Bump, Birth and Beyond Zambia.

Outdoor soccer-based fun for kids. INFO: littleeagles@zambia.co.zm, 0976 135-788, 0950 265-989.

Social Bowls. Venue: Central Sports Club.

Bowling section. Time: Saturdays. 2pm.

New bowlers welcome.

Tennis Section, Lusaka Club. Invites players of all ability levels to join in social tennis.

Venue: Lusaka Club. Time: Saturdays, 1pm - 6pm. Cost: K20 for court use, balls, coffee and snacks. Last Saturday of the month: Half Price Social Tennis; K10. You can be signed in for up to 3 sessions by members thereafter you have the option of joining the club. INFO: 0977 964-121, lusakatennis@yahoo.com

Umoyo Natural Health | Great East Rd near Munali Roundabout | Live Blood Analysis Test - daily - K250 | Zumba - Mondays to Fridays, 6pm - 7pm | Baobab Shots Wednesday Mornings - K15 each | ‘Reclaim Your Health’ Talk - Thursdays, 10am - Free & free samples | Fit Club - Full Body Fitness - Mondays to Thursdays, 5pm to 6pm or 6.30pm to 7.30pm | Therapeutic Yoga Mondays to Saturdays, 9am. INFO: 0966 800-600 Umoyo Natural Health | Woodlands Shopping Centre | Live Blood Analysis Test - daily - K250. ‘Reclaim Your Health’ Talk Thursdays, 4pm. INFO: 0967 800-313 Umoyo Natural Health | Weightloss Wednesdays! Visit one of our Shops for 5% off all Herbex Weight Loss Products every Wednesday! Locations: Arcades Shopping Centre, Foxdale Court, Woodlands Shopping Centre and at Umoyo Health Clinic on Great East Rd near Munali Roundabout Zambian Cancer Society. Venue: Independence Avenue. Time: Last Friday of the month. 6pm - 7pm. Female cancer survivors support group. Support offered via telephone or email. 0955 226237, info@zambiancancersociety.org / zambiacancersociety@gmail.com Zambia Taekwon-Do Association. Venue: Municipal Sports Club. Time: Saturday, Sunday: 10am. Tuesday, Thursday: 5.30pm.

INFO: 0211 254-090.

Touch Rugby. Venue: Gymkhana Club, Showgrounds Time: Monday and Thursday 6pm. All welcome (Male & Female) INFO: 0965 126-200

ZOCA Dance: Looking for dance classes for yourself or your kids? ZOCA dance fitness is a fantastic and fun way to exercise and maintain a healthy lifestyle. You will groove to popular African and Caribbean beats to get in shape! 3 convenient locations.

ZocaMAX classes are great for toning and sculpting. Classes for Kids 3-12 years old too. INFO/Schedule: www.zocadance.com, 0967 795-816, zocadance@gmail.com

Ultimate Frisbee. Venue: Lusaka Gymkhana Club; Wednesdays 5.30pm - 7.30pm | American International School; Sundays 9.30am - 11.30am. Everyone welcome.

INFO: 0973 370-973.

Zumba Keep Fit: Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays. Venue: Alliance Française of Lusaka. Time: 5.30pm - 7.30pm. Entrance: K30 per session, K150 per month. INFO: 0976 100-727 or register at reception.

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April

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‘Leisure’ Alliance Francaise Cine Kids. French Movies, English subtitles for kids 3 - 10 years and parents. Venue: Alliance Francaise, Lusaka. Time: Saturdays, 9am.

Alliance Francaise Cine Night. French Movies, English subtitles. Venue: Alliance Francaise, Lusaka. Time: Monthly, Second Last Thursday, 7.30pm. Entrance: K10.

Alliance Francaise ‘Poete Spring’ Poetry Show. Venue: Alliance Francaise, Lusaka.

Time: Monthly, Last Friday, 7pm. Admission Free. An open mic multilingual show in which poets and lovers of literature can present and perform their own poems, as well as those written by others in a mature and appreciative atmosphere. With a monthly theme.

Art Classes. Venue: Zebra Crossing Café, Ababa House, Twikatane Rd. Time: Wednesdays, 9am - 12pm. All Mediums Sketching, Painting in oil, acrylics, water colours and more. Beginners welcome! Art supplies available at The Art Shop. INFO: 0974 279-107, info@theartshopltd.com Camera Chat Group. Venue: Coffee Gallery, Nangwenya Rd. Meeting: Third Saturday, monthly, 9.30 am. Relaxed discussions for DSLR enthusiasts who want to improve their technical skills. INFO: rosegarden@hudzam.com Evening Art Class. Tutored by Richard Kirby.

Venue: Zebra Crossing Café, Ababa House, Twikatane Rd. Time: Thursday Nights. Cost: K50 per session. An extension of the regular Wednesday workday sessions to suit afterhour artists. Beginners are welcome. INFO: 0974 279-107 info@theartshopltd.com French Storytelling Workshop. Reading to children. Venue: Alliance Française. Time: Wednesday, 2.30pm - 3.30pm. Children aged 5 - 16.

Helen O’Grady Drama Classes: Afternoons & Saturdays. Kiddy programmes Tuesday, Thursday & Friday mornings. Public speaking courses, Tuesday & Thursday evenings. INFO: carlyn@dramaafrica.com or janet@dramaafrica.com

International Wine & Food Society. The Lusaka Branch hold regular themed events in both Restaurants and Members’ homes.

Interested in hearing more? INFO: Ken 0977 829-467 or 0979 473-555.

Irish Wild Geese Society. We’d like to welcome anyone from Ireland who has arrived in Zambia. Fun monthly events and St Patrick’s ball in March, (proceeds to local charities). INFO: 0979 875-097 Lusaka Bridge Club. Venue: Main Lounge, Lusaka Golf Club. Time: Monday, 6.45pm, Duplicate bridge. Monthly & international tournaments held. INFO: 0211 264-432, money@coppernet.zm Lusaka Garden Club. Meetings: Second Saturday of the month. Members visit different gardens, Garden information and talks. Flower Shows in February for members only and during the Agricultural Show in August open to all. Subscription K60 per year. INFO: 0977 775-744, 0979 428-003.

Lusaka Road Bikers. Venue: La Mimosa, Arcades. Time: Sundays, 9am. Meet for a chat, coffee/breakfast and a ride to various venues. INFO: 0966 766-896 gintym@seedco.co.zm, 0955 801-954 murryfieldfarm@zamtel.zm, 0966 858-733 mcrop@zamnet.zm Serbian Buffet Lunch. Venue: Nena’s Restaurant. Time: Monthly First Sunday.

INFO: 0211 239-541.

Singing. Lusaka Music Society. Do you like singing, have you sung in a choir, or would you like to sing in a choir? The Lusaka Music Society meets once weekly for rehearsals and perform three concerts a year. Meet new people and learn new music. Musicians welcome. INFO: molly.care@gmail.com or 0977 780-883, annew@iconnect.zm Sunday Lunch. Venue: Gerritz Restaurant.

Time: 12pm to 4pm. German specialities, cold beer, modern German music, relaxed garden atmosphere. INFO: Siri 0211 253639 / 0977 856-040.

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Small Ads; 01 - 20 words: K40 / 21 - 40 words: K80 / 41 - 60 words: K120 | Property Prowl: K400 Deadline: 10th of the month preceding publication

Carpenter available to do odd jobs around the house, make furniture and repair broken furniture. Can also do tiling and roofing.

Contact 0974 347-255 Centricia Lodge - Kasama | Are you travelling to Kasama and need excellent, affordable accommodation? Join us at Centricia Lodge, located in the residential area of Mukulumpe. We offer state-ofthe-art accommodation with en suite bathrooms, DSTV, bar fridge, kettle, comfortable workstation for business travelers, a lush relaxing garden in which you can enjoy our tasty braaied signature T-bone. For reservations; 0976 702-063/ 0963 708-306

Citrus Tree Trimming. Improve the health of your citrus and other trees. Contact 0966 747-990 Compost & Manure: Quality guaranteed!

Compost: 25kg bag for K45. Manure: in 50kg bag for K25. More than 10 bags free delivery in Lusaka. Shaun 0976 030-311.

Employment Sought: Experienced Cleaner for a Lodge / Restaurant / Boarding House.

Lady, aged 23. Please call 0976 093-906 Employment Sought: Four years experience; cashier at Blockbusters Video and security supervisor / cashier at Gamany Tyres. Call 0954 420-301 / 0977 827-825 43

Employment Sought: General Hospitality / Front Office / House-keeping / Food and Beverage / Bar Attendant / Salad Chef.

Please call 0979 389-292 Employment Sought: Office Runner / Orderly / Driver. Retired Banker with 23 years experience. Trustworthy, Mature Male. Please Call 0967 697-733 or 0977 697-733 English Language Tutor. For SAT, IGCSE and GCE preparations. Contact: 0950 228130 marthe1030@yahoo.fr For Rent: 3 Properties. Available 1 March | Makeni; Behind Watchtower HQ Complex.

Newly built, spacious 3 bedroomed semidetached flats. | Fairview Nasser Road. 2 bedroomed newly renovated flat. Furnished or unfurnished. Long or short stay. | Eureka Park; Acacia Drive. Newly built three bedroomed house. | For viewing and more details, please contact 0955 630-851 or 0972 202-459 or 0963 370-336.

For Sale: 5 acres of Prime Land in Lilayi.

Partly serviced. Contact: 0977 807-690.

For Sale: Isuzu 4x4 Camper. Gas cooker, fridge/freezer, hot water, solar panels, 150 litre water tank. Mileage: Only 28,000 km.

Price: K190,000. | Rolling Chassis for a Mercedes Unimog. Price: Offers. Contact 0977 437-845 or 0978 323-726 Lusaka Home-From-Home: Self-catering Accommodation. Woodlands. Fully equipped one bedroom cottage. Everything you need for a few days or few weeks in Lusaka. Suits a couple or single person wishing to set their own timetable. Secure parking. Friendly owners on site. K450 per day. Contact Maggie on 0977 478675, or Stuart on 0977 544-118, or e-mail: lusakahomefromhome@gmail.com Need Landscaping, Digital landscaping design, manure, compost, maintenance of private offices and parks. Design-a-gardens.

Karin Monge 0977 716-954.

North Kafue National Park. Mayukuyuku Bush Camp offers full board, and 44

camping. Excellent game viewing and fishing. Access for two-wheel drive vehicles, 4 hours from Lusaka on good roads. www.kafuecamps.com | info@kafuecamps.com Pet Travel - Import, Export and Microchipping. Pet Parlour - For all your grooming needs. Pet Boarding - In our country kennels. Contact 0211 265-197 / 0968 883-284 / petvetzambia@gmail.com Showgrounds Vet Clinic - Dr. Lisa Oparaocha | For Veterinary / Grooming: 0977 770-940, showgroundsvet@gmail.com | For Pet Shop (Spoiled Pets): 0967 764825, esuesta@yahoo.com Therapeutic Counselling: Relationship issues, crisis, abuse, anxiety, life changes? A safe confidential place to explore the way forward. Available services include face to face, skype, email, house visits. Contact: 0975 240-592 To Let: Roma House. Three bedrooms, two ensuite. Third toilet / shower near entrance hall. Scullery, pantry, maids quarters / changing room, garage. Cute landscaped garden, long veranda, with swimming pool, electric wall fence and borehole.

Contact 0977 936-505, 0977 936-504, 0211 295-040 Worker Hire – Maids, Gardeners, Chefs, Poultrymen, Piggerymen, Plumbers, French Teachers, Barmen, Pastel Accountants, Agriculturalists, Fish Farming, Farm Managers. 0977 146-524, 0975 574-204, derricky08@yahoo.com Zanzibar | Private Beach Villa for Rent | Jambiani Village. 4 Bedroom, 2 bathroom beach castle for spectacular affordable family holidays on Zanzibar’s East Coast.

Suitable for two families with kids or three couples. Kwacha House is fully furnished and equipped. Unbeatable self-catering value for families and groups. Rates start at US$200 / night for a whole family. Contact www.zanzibar-beach.com 0211 213-841 kwachahouse@zanzibar-beach.com 0977 897-779