THE LUTHERAN August 2018

N A TIO N A L M A G A ZIN E O F THE L U THE RA N C HU RC H O F A U STRA LIA

AUGUST 2018

VOL 52 NO7

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B EI N G SINGLE

s n a l p e h t w o ‘I kn ’ u o y r o f e v a I h JEREMIAH

29:11

LUTHERAN

CHURCH OF AUSTRALIA

EDITORIAL Editor Lisa McIntosh p 08 8267 7300 m 0409 281 703 e lisa.mcintosh@lca.org.au

T AKING IT TO THE BEACH Members and friends of St James Lutheran Church, Hervey Bay, on Queensland’s Fraser Coast, relax during their annual get-together with some familiar reading matter. Peter and Kaye Siddans, Colin Mibus, Leon and Val Weise, Mardi and Howard Seefeld, Avil Zischke, Bev Craig, Pam Svenson, Jill Lange, Desley Schmidt, Jane Mibus, Ken Zischke, Tony and Roma Paterson, Lyall and Elaine Moller, Barry Schmidt, and Les and Bev Jorgensen were at Woodgate Beach Caravan Park, between Hervey Bay and Bundaberg. Mark Svenson took the photo.

Executive Editor Linda Macqueen p 08 8339 5178 e linda.macqueen@lca.org.au

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The Lutheran informs the members of the LCA about the church’s teaching, life, mission and people, helping them to grow in faith and commitment to Jesus Christ.

The Lutheran also provides a forum for a range of opinions, which do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the editor or the policies of the Lutheran Church of Australia.

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The Lutheran AUGUST 2018

Enjoys being with family and friends, going to the beach and dining out Fav text: Matthew 28:20

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AUGUST

Special features EDITOR'S

Letter

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Whether we intend to do so or not, we’re pretty adept at putting people into boxes the first time we see them. We tend to base our impressions of people on their appearance, their size, their hair, their clothes and even their voice.

The first questions we ask when we meet someone are probably about what they do for a living, where they live or where they went to school. And, of course, as Lutherans, we also need to know to whom they are related! Then perhaps we want to know whether they are single or in a relationship.

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Being single … a calling not a failing

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Single again but never alone

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I saw Jesus today

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Regulars Heartland

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Dwelling in God’s word

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#youngSAVEDfree

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Go and Grow

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Reel Life

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The inside story

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Notices

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Going GREYT!

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But I was also blessed and enjoyed a rich life while I was single, thanks to my wonderful friends and family.

Directory

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I know many people who are single or single again. Some are happy on their own, some would like a loving partner. (I’ve even been guilty of matchmaking some of them – with some success, I might add!)

Your voice

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Coffeebreak

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How would Jesus have stacked up if we could have met him?

Married? No. Earthly mansion? No. Other assets? No. Fancy schooling? No. Well-paying job? No. Expensive clothes? No. Makes you wonder about what we value, doesn’t it?

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Thankfully, we know our worth as Christians has nothing to do with earthly measures. We are dearly loved children of God. That is the only status that matters.

I didn’t get married until I was 40, so I know what it’s like to be a single adult. I know what it’s like to have well-meaning folk feeling sorry for me, assuring me I would meet 'the right man' some day. As it turned out, I did. God’s plan for me wasn’t that I should always be single, and I was extremely blessed to meet Nigel, who is now my kind, loving, considerate and caring husband.

Whether we are single or coupled, we all need love, care, compassion and forgiveness. We all need to know that we belong. Do we, as church, adequately include, consider and care for people who are single? How do we cater for them?

In this issue we are fortunate to hear the stories and the views of two LCA members who at this time are single. They share some of the pain and the joy of travelling life solo. I am grateful for their reminders that being single is just as much a calling, a vocation, as is being married or being a parent.

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We also are privileged to share the stories of people living in African refugee camps that our Lutheran family supports through Australian Lutheran World Service.

I pray that the witnesses of all of these people will encourage all of us to remember that we are not defined by where we live, how we look, how much money we have, or by our relationships – other than the one we have with Jesus!

Lisa

Our cover: Image

from iStock

JES U S I S G OD'S LOVE. HE G IVES U S NE W HE ARTS TO L AY AS IDE O UR OL D WAYS, TO B EL IE VE AND FOL LOW HIM, TO L IVE WI T H HIM E VERY DAY.

heartland

REV JOHN HENDERSON

Bishop Lutheran Church of Australia

BEING REFORMED IN G OD’S WORKSHOP I recently visited St Peter’s Lutheran Church in Pittsworth, Queensland, for the 50th anniversary of laying the foundation stone of their church building.

St Peter’s is one of many congregations formed after Lutherans came together as one church in 1966.

Those were enthusiastic days of growth and planting new churches, while the post-war baby boom reached, and then passed, its peak.

temporary building of steel, glass, timber and bricks with the temple the Holy Spirit is building. I pictured the St Peter’s congregation as God’s workshop in which he makes living stones from rubble previously dumped as useless.

Workshops are busy places, often cluttered with tools and unfinished projects. In a workshop it can be hard to visualise the finished product. If St Peter’s had prepared a history book for the a congregation is God’s workshop, it won’t be occasion; well-researched, engagingly written pristine and neat. It will be littered with unfinished by local member Grant Uebergang, projects. The Spirit will be using his and laden with fascinating tools, such as God’s word, law and The Spirit will be photographs. Tantalisingly, the title gospel, repentance, baptism and of the book is not what you would holy communion, to chisel and shape using his TOOLS, expect. Called Starts & Stumbles, it his living stones. You can check the such as God’s word, chronicles a tumultuous history of overall design by looking at Jesus law and gospel, competitive mission, false starts and Christ, the cornerstone from which all repentance, baptism church closures. As one wit said over the other stones take their measure. the celebratory lunch, ‘These days we It’s a slow, painstaking process as the and holy communion, talk about sheep stealing, but in those master artisan gives us a new form, to chisel and SHAPE days they stole whole congregations!’ perfectly shaped and aligned to fit into his living stones.

Lasting unity and a common purpose the cornerstone. (one could add common sense) only The image really took hold that arrived with the formation of the LCA. anniversary day; during lunch many speakers I truly appreciate the honesty of the Pittsworth referred to St Peter’s as God’s workshop, each telling Lutherans. They don’t gloss over the sometimes notsome part of how they experienced it, warts and so-savoury doings of their ancestors. Without laying all. It was refreshingly honest and reminded me of accusations or making recriminations their history why the LCA is such a bunch of enduring, resilient book just records things as they seem to have believers. I pray God we never lose that spiritual gift! happened. It’s testimony to how these down-to-earth In a world that values glamour and glitz more rural folk see things. I’m sure once some of them get than honesty and integrity, we need to remember to reading its 267 pages they will have a few hearty where our strengths lie. Like St Peter’s Pittsworth, debates about its content. All power to that! the people of the LCA are here to stay, while God I had the privilege of preaching on the day, based on lovingly, but when necessary painfully, shapes us 1 Peter 2:4–10. I highlighted the church as a spiritual as living stones, built into a spiritual house that will house, and believers as living stones, comparing the stand forever.

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The Lutheran AUGUST 2018

B EIN G S ING L E

... a calling not a failing It seems societ y of ten measures our success or o t herwise according to our at t ributes and abilit ies, and our employment and relat ionship stat us. But, just as no t everyone who is married is happy all of t he t ime, nor is everyone who is single unhappy or lonely all of t he t ime. Emma Graet z shares some of her journey, navigat ing life as a single person – and as a loved child of God.

by EMMA GRAETZ ‘Are you married?’ – This is one of the most common questions I am asked when I meet someone for the first time.

As a single person, it is also the question that places me instantly in a social box – it’s the box of pity about my current social status.

Ironically, the most common response to my social status is, ‘Oh – you’re not married. Don’t worry – he’s out there somewhere. Have you tried online dating?’

I do not speak on behalf of all single people. Each one of us has a different story and reason for our singleness. For some, this is a constant daily struggle and for others, there is an acceptance of our circumstance.

With being single among her current vocations, Emma Graetz has become ‘completely comfortable’ to go by herself to the movies, cafés and on overseas travel. Here she is pictured in Wittenberg at the aptly named Tante Emma’s café (Aunt Emma’s).

For me, I have come to realise that being single doesn’t define who I am. First and foremost, I am a child of God. That is who I am. This is the one thing I have in common with everyone I meet whether they are in a relationship or not. After that, every person has a life story that is unique to them and that needs to be honoured and respected.

My life story started with a plan. My plan was not to stress about being in a relationship and to just enjoy the early years of my working life, living overseas and interstate until I reached my late 20s. At this age, I then planned to meet the man of

Emma enjoys spending time with her three nephews and also has eight Godchildren who have a special place in her heart.

my dreams, get married and start having a family. In my mind it seemed perfectly planned. Over a decade later, I now realise I actually had a dream, and God had the plan. Working through the heartbreak of a dream not being fulfilled has been a challenge and taken a lot of personal reflection. Initially, I often compared my life to friends who had found a partner – most of them in their early 20s – and were settling down and subsequently having children.

Questions I would ask myself included ‘What is it about me?’; ‘What have I done wrong to prevent me finding someone who will love me?’; ‘Had I made wrong choices that led me to a life of singleness?’; ‘If only I lost more weight, or joined more social groups – would this help me find the man of my dreams?’. Of course, throughout this selfreflection, there were also many tearful prayers to God asking ‘Why me? Why doesn’t anyone love me for who I am?’.

What I have come to discover is that there is a silent life milestone ‘blueprint’ that society promotes – leave

The Lutheran AUGUST 2018

My life is no less because I don’t have a husband or children. My life is full of blessing and as part of my singleness journey, I need to rejoice in this and become content with what God has provided for me. Philippians 4:11 has been a cornerstone of comfort for me as I have embraced singleness: ‘I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation’.

I now realise I actually had a DREAM, and God had the PLAN.

It was strange, though, how God constantly answered my tearful prayers. He didn’t miraculously place someone in my life to start dating. Instead, he showed me a reason why my singleness mattered. He revealed to me that he has a bigger and better plan for my life as a single woman, and that I need to trust him. He has called me into a life of singleness and I need to embrace that as my vocation and be content with this current life situation.

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school, get a job, get married, buy a house, and have children. Unfortunately, it is this blueprint that many single people are socially measured against. If we haven’t achieved these milestones, then it seems to others that we are missing out.

My secret is to see singleness as my vocation, not my failure. Being content brings you to a place that doesn’t seek what you think you should have, but instead looks at what you do have and sees the blessings. To accept this contentment has been a very freeing experience for me. It has meant I no longer get frustrated with being single. Instead, it has given me the strength to answer questions about whether I have a partner with a true sense of conviction. I’m no longer ashamed about being single. I have even taken the bold steps of being completely comfortable to go by myself to the movies, or go to a café and enjoy brunch and a good book, or even travel overseas.

Quite often I am the target of unsolicited advice. Many people want to reassure me that ‘the right one is out there somewhere – I just need to be patient’! Along with

well-meaning comments, I also found that some people want to comfort me with Bible verses, for example, ‘Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart’ (Psalm 37:4). When this passage is presented to me as a single person, it makes it seem that I am lacking faith, because I have not yet received the desires of my heart (for example, a husband, children, and a house).

Ironically for me, this is now one of my most treasured Bible passages. I was at a retreat when this verse was shared with me during a time of struggle with my singleness. The leader who shared it with me pointed out that this is an often-misunderstood verse, because it is not about our earthly desires, but our heavenly desires. This verse actually says that if I delight in all the blessings that God has given me, then my heart’s desire is actually to love, know and serve him, regardless of my situation. This was the best piece of advice I have ever been given as a single person! It brought together all my struggles with being single, and laid them at the foot of the cross, and allowed me to be free to serve in my singleness, and not let that be a burden I carried daily.

place in my heart and my life. And even at church and through other friendship groups, I have a number of children who see me as a significant adult in their lives. I don’t need my own biological children to know what it means to have children in my life. God has covered that area of my life in abundance!

My biggest heartache currently stems from the question, ‘How do we as church, embrace people like myself, who are single either by choice or circumstance, and include them in the vibrant life of the church?’.

For me, I have come to realise that being single doesn’t DEFINE who I am. First and foremost, I am a CHILD OF GOD.

Each year, the hardest day for me as a single person is Valentine’s Day. The one day when flowers and chocolates and romantic gestures are sprawled across TV screens and social media. For me, the meaning of this day is ‘Happy Single Awareness Day’. This year, I placed a rant about this day on Facebook, with an unexpected response. One of my friends from church saw my comment, and this prompted a discussion in their home that not everyone is in a relationship, that this day can be really tough for those without a partner, and that everyone deserves to feel loved.

My friend’s five-year-old daughter, Elysia, decided to show me some love by creating a photo frame craft with the words ‘You are loved’. They hand delivered it to my house for me to find when I got home. It was this gesture of love that helped me appreciate that, despite my singleness and my once-a-year rant, I am loved for who I am, regardless of my situation.

As I near the later end of my child-bearing years, there is a real reality that I might not have children of my own.

Even though that has been upsetting at times for me, I have come to a real sense of peace on this issue, mainly because I no longer feel like I have missed out on having children.

My family has given me three beautiful nephews I am able to call my own. I have eight wonderful Godchildren, who, together with their siblings, all have a special

I’ve fought hard for years to be recognised as someone who has worth and value to contribute to groups like church councils and committees.

Previously, because I am both single and a woman, I have been perceived by some people as not having the necessary life experience or wisdom.

My encouragement to churches is to see single people as bringing a different perspective to your mission and ministry activities. An even greater challenge is to think about how to incorporate them into the social community of the church, especially when they might not fit into young adults groups or women’s or men’s fellowships agewise, and they may not connect with family social groups if they don’t have children. Single people still want to be part of a community that cares and includes them regardless of their relationship status.

Being single might not be my story forever – only God knows that outcome. For now though, I am committed to embracing my singleness as a calling and delighting in seeing where and how God uses me as part of his bigger plan for his kingdom here on earth.

Emma Graetz is Director of VET (Vocational Education and Training) at Australian Lutheran College.

Emma’s friend's daughter Elysia crafted the message ‘You are loved’ for her and handdelivered it as an act of care and kindness.

Single again but never alone

by VIC PFITZNER I didn’t ask to lose my wife just before our golden wedding nearly five years ago but one of us had to die first. I didn’t ask to grow old, but I’ve always known that getting old and death are inevitable.

As a Christian, however, I know that what matters is not what happens – like the death of a partner and getting old – but how I live at every stage of life. I am not defined by loss, or age, but by my state as a person blessed by God. I remain called by God; I still have a vocation.

It’s easy to have our sense of self-worth defined by loss. There’s the loss of a previous ‘calling’, a career.

Retirement can bring relief, but also crisis.

Society tends to define us in terms of what we do in terms of paid occupation.

The second question at introductions (after the exchange of names) is usually, ‘And what do you do?’ When asked that, I am tempted as a retiree to list activities to justify my existence – or to say that I was once an important person with a big job. To hopefully initiate a discussion, I have sometimes said, ‘I don’t do anything really. I’m just a widower and retired!’

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The Lutheran AUGUST 2018

Of course, the pain of loss is real. Loss of a spouse creates grief that may include self-accusation over failures to care for and understand the one we loved and lived with for decades. There may be guilt over lost opportunities in our role as parent.

Husband or wife was a noble calling; can that be said for a widow(er)? Then there is the loss of family and friends: old age means funerals and faded friendships!

Obviously, there is the loss of physical and mental strength, one’s ‘parts’ go missing. There is loss of hearing and sight, the increasingly pressing need to make ‘final arrangements’. No wonder we oldies can spend so much time recalling the good times when our lives were complete instead of fragmented. The temptation is to live in the past when we had real vocations! But for Christians, self-worth is not determined by what we do or have done in life, nor by our marital status, possessions, or standing in society - least of all by our looks. It is determined by knowing who we are: people in vocation.

When St Paul teaches that everyone should live the life that God has assigned and in which one was called

Sometimes we can aim at goals so high that we fail to see the little tasks in front of us. We aim for the stars and stumble over stones. We want to convert the world and perhaps don’t even know our neighbours. We may overlook the most important tasks. There are at least four that immediately come to mind: • We are called to prayer, to praise and intercession.

The more time we spend praising God and recalling our blessings, the less we will spend in wistful regret or even grumbling. We can continually intercede for those we love, for all whom we personally know to be in need.

• We are called to affirm people rather than criticise, to leave people feeling better about themselves rather than worrying about how people think of us. We should aim to leave our little corner of the world a better place for having been there.

• We are called to pay proper attention to our health, as long as we are capable of doing so. That obviously means a healthy diet and exercise. And when we are perhaps incapacitated and no longer able to look after ourselves, we give others the opportunity to serve us!

Left: Dr Vic Pfitzner with his family – daughters Suzanne and Sarah, son Matthew and wife Val. Above: Vic and Val Pfitzner were married for almost 50 years before she died.

Because we are AGELESS children of God we are NEVER ALONE.

(1 Corinthians 7:17) he is referring to a twofold vocation. First there is the call to be a believer, a child of God, a saint bound for eternity. Secondly, there is the call to live worthy of that calling in whatever situation we find ourselves. This is the call we generally mean when speaking of vocation (see Philippians 1:27).

What Paul is saying is that my behavior should match my being as a ‘new creation’. No matter what my present position or my social and relationship status in life may be, I am always embraced by the eternal love of God and called to share that love. I am part of God’s amazing creation and called to look after it. I am a member of the family of the redeemed and called to serve those in God’s household. I am a member of a human family of relatives and friends and called to act in their best interests. I am a citizen of Australia and called to obey its laws and contribute to the welfare of society.

Because we are ageless children of God we are never alone. We may be elderly and lack the company and support of a spouse but even these negatives can be turned into positives.

Larger achievements may belong to the past but we are not past it. At our stage we have life experiences to share. We have more time to spend with family and friends, more opportunities for looking after others in need of company or help. We are probably financially more secure and have a little extra to put on the collection plate and to donate to worthy causes.

• We are called to be content (see 1 Timothy 6:6). Happiness is overrated. It fluctuates with changing circumstances.

Contentment rides the waves of life’s ups and downs. It provides equilibrium; it grounds one’s daily existence.

Living the life of a disciple means living with face turned forward to God’s future, remembering the past but not living in it.

For those who now live in Christ, all the losses of this life will eventually lead to eternal gain (Philippians 1:21). Our lives may seem to be going downhill, but we have an upward call (3:14) in the Lord who suffered loss on the hill of Calvary before ascending to glory. That’s our final great vocation.

Rev Dr Vic Pfitzner is a renowned Lutheran theologian, a prolific writer on a wide range of subjects of faith and the church, and an emeritus lecturer at Australian Lutheran College.

He was a member of Luther Seminary's founding faculty in 1968, a lecturer there in New Testament from 1968 to 2004, and principal from 1989 to 1997.