Issue 53 - March 2016

Page 1

M AG DA L E N Free Student Magazine

ISSUE 53

Wealth: The Most Overrated Thing on Earth

Rise & Fall of a Genre: The Plight of EDM

It all goes tits, (or should

It’s common knowledge

I say silicone) up.

that where the public shows interest, larger labels see dolla signs.


Jonathan Rose Station Manager DUSA TV

Rebecca Baird Editor in Chief The Magdalen

Matthew Carter Station Manager DUSA Radio

Alex Iliescu Online Manager DUSA Media Online

YOUR NEW 2016/17

MEDIA MANAGERS


ISSUE 53 Editor’s Letter

Editors

Andrew: Do you want to write the Editor’s Letter together?

Editor in Chief

Kate: Like a duet? ‘You say potato’ -

Andrew Stewart

Andrew: ‘I say tomato…’ Deputy Editor A slightly conflicting relationship, we can start off great then suddenly realise we’re

Kate McAuliffe

not actually on the same page, or even pitch. But after introducing Andrew to the Magdalen as the Science Editor and him promoting me to one of his Deputy Editors

Art & Entertainment Editors

during his reign of terror as Editor and Chief (after leapfrogging in the hierarchy) it

Patrick O’Donnell

has been an exceptional two years of Magdabanter working beside him. And now it

Francesca Reid

is time for both of us to say farewell to the magazine which once again cemented our Current Affairs Editor

friendship.

Euan Forbes It has been less of a roller-coaster and more of a dodgems ride this last year, with a couple of controversial nudges and conflicting opinions, but we’ve certainly

Enterprise Editor

enjoyed the ride. The Magdalen has been through some big and, dare we say,

Vladimir Ghita

impressive changes under this year’s team, earning more popularity and critical acknowledgement. It’s also been a year of celebration and achievements, with the

Design Editor

launch of the Magdalen’s 50th issue and appropriate partying to follow. We have

Hazel Wyllie

expanded, we have a new design and we are ready to jump forward into next year full steam, with a new team already lined up ready to expand and replace our current team

Fashion Editor

of amazing writers, editors and designers.

Sarah Doig

And finally, without sounding too much like an Oscar winner’s speech, we’d like to

Lifestyle Editor

wish the best of luck to Rebecca Baird, the incoming Editor in Chief, Monica Dunne,

Lauren Copeland

the incoming Creative Director, and their teams who have already impressed us so much. We’d also like to say a special thank you to Kenny Meek, Dominic Younger and

Science Editor

the other DUSA Media Managers who have been supportive and instrumental to our

Victor Chamosa Pino

success this year, also achieving so much in their time here. Sports Editor So, if you remember back to the April 2015 issue I quoted Dr Seuss with my all time favourite quote: ‘Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.’ Which still stands true today.

You have our gratitude, pride and well-wishes, farewell,

Andrew and Kate Editor in Chief & Deputy Editor 2015/16

Published By

Printed By

Dominic Younger, VPCC

The Magazine Printing Company

DUSA, Airlie Place, Dundee, DD1 4PH

www.magprint.co.uk

vpcc@dusa.co.uk

Alasdair Hooper


ISSUE 53 Creative Director’s Letter

Design Team

Well we made it. Three 52-page issues, four 44-page issues & one 36-page issue. A new design, a

Creative Director

new spine, a hugely expanded team & new systems in place for the next team. I’ll take that. Yes, this

Monica Dunne

year has been intense. From an insane freshers issue to one that didn’t even make it to print, the past year has been a mixture of emotional breakdowns & bouts of joy. Since this is the last Creative Director’s letter under my remit, I’ll use it to thank everyone that makes this machine work. The team of designers who volunteer their free time to create something like this never cease to amaze me. Their devotion, support and hard work are staggering & I’ll confidently say that no other student

Asst. Creative Directors Ali Elliott Laura Gelston

magazine has this kind of collaboration that we take pride in. The team continually represents the independent nature of what student publishing should be; collaborative, supportive, inclusive & fun.

Designers

From design students to Vice Presidents of Communications and Campaigns, Magdalen lets people

Rachel Alexander

flex their creative talents on a monthly basis & although deadlines & timescales get in the way, myself

Zoe Broughton

& the team still maintain a sense of pride when seeing what they’ve created manifest. I extend thanks

Sandra Campbell

to them & everyone else, & I mean everyone, who has a hand in the making of this project.

Amy Collier Monica Dunne

Shout Outs / Thanks: Dominic Younger: Dom is one of the most genuine, down to earth people I know. Not only does he act as publisher for this magazine, but also supports me in my creative endeavors on daily basis. Alice McConnell, Roma McCook & Jill Montgomery: A support network is important to anyone. Throughout the ongoing development of this magazine, these three have been mine. Whether it’s giving me advice or picking up an article when nobody else will, these three amazing women have been around when I needed them most. Andrew Stewart: Andrew is the man who makes this magazine happen. He is intensely passionate about the process behind our creation. He takes care of the content, the printing and the business behind the product. He’s been

Ali Elliott Alice Farquhar Laura Gelston Fabio Maragno Dawn Neely Eilidh Reid Andrew Simpson

my partner in crime and there’s nobody I’d rather have by my side if I was to do it all over again. Andrew Simpson: My flat mate, assistant and friend. Andrew does for this magazine what I can’t. He

Cover Designer

challenges me, understands me and supports myself and the design team in every endeavour we take

Eilidh Reid

on. This magazine doesn’t exist without his support and I’m extremely grateful for it.

Special Thanks There are so many other people that deserve thanks and they know who they are. If you’ve had any

Kenny Meek

hand in the creation of this magazine, you matter and I’m in debt to your input and work. Thanks for having me.

Kenneth Meek Creative Director

The life of a Magdalen Creative Director is fleeting. You take

them on board for when I’m nearing disaster or just needing a

control, lose control & then it’s over before you know it. It seems

cup of tea. A bit about me - I’ve been designing for the Magdalen

like Kenny only just took over & subsequently revolutionised

since I started Graphic Design & have realy enjoyed doing it. I’m

the design of our magazine - so much so we’ve been shortlisted

20 years old & I come from a small town near Stirling. I hope that

as best designed student publication! Behind the scenes, our

you all come to enjoy picking up your monthly issue filled with the

outgoing CD has supported the design team in any issues we’ve

creative minds of everyone involved. I also just want to mention

had. I have big shoes to fill & Magdalen won’t be the same without

a quick thank you to my family, but particularly my sister & best

him. However, onwards & upwards. I’m looking forward to taking

friend Olivia, because I know she believes in me more than I do.

on the challenge of such a successful magazine. I DEFINITELY won’t be doing this alone - my Asst. creative Directors Laura & Ali.

Monica Dunne

They’re how I survive on a day-to-day basis so I’m v happy to have

Creative Director


CONTENTS Current Affairs 04 - 06

Art & Entertainment Accolades a Plenty for

28 - 29

Dundee Grad

08 - 09

The Plight of EDM

30 - 33

Design

Rise and Fall of a Genre:

Wealth: The Most Overrated Thing on Earth

Leanne Fischler

Societies 35 - 37

Enterprise 10 - 11

Seeing the Signs: British Sign Language

Introduction to Collaborations: The Father of Innovation

38 - 41

Music at The University of Dundee

Lifestyle 13 - 15

42 - 43

Study Abroad Society

44

Catholic Society

When Sex is Not an Option

Science 17 - 19

The Depressing Truth

20 - 21

Renewables in 2016

22 - 23

Cuneiform Calculas

Sports 46 - 49

The Greatest Quotes from the Sporting World

Fashion 26 - 27

Five Trends to Buy Now

Contributors List

Sophie Boswell, Victor Chamosa Pino, Sarah Doig, Joanne Dunne, Leanne Fischler, Euan Forbes, Adelaide Gribbin, Arran Hodgkinson, Alasdair Hooper, Cameron Melvin, Mark Newell, Finlay Page, Francesca Reid. Societies: University of Dundee Catholic Society, Dundee University Music Society.


Current Affairs

Accolades a Plenty for Dundee Grad F

or many students this time of year is filled

latter option that appealed to him and it is

with excitement and relief as that much

one that has paid off, as he has recently been

anticipated graduation finally seems within

named as one of Forbes Magazine’s 30 under

reach. However, alongside that excitement

30 in Europe.

comes anxiety and despair over just what to

4

do after university. A gap year, graduate job or

Having graduated from Dundee in 2009

starting your own business? The possibilities

with a degree in Politics and International

are endless, but for Cally Russell it was the

Relations, Russell had a few jobs in various


Current Affairs

sectors before founding Mallzee in 2012. Mallzee, is a

down a £75K investment into the business on Dragons

personalised shopping app which brings many high

Den. A decision which has been vindicated by this most

street retailers together in the one place. An amazing

recent success and recognition from Yahoo as “one of

concept but as Russell told the Magdalen, creating an

the six apps that will change the way we shop forever.”

app was not a long held ambition but rather something

Moreover, the app has users in over 125 countries but

borne out of a difficult jean buying experience.

Russell has plans to take it even further.

“We’ve got huge plans for 2016 and will be launching

Tough decision to turn down a £75K investment into the business on Dragons Den...

some fantastic new features this year as well as opening up more countries. Like always we’re just going to keep working hard, having fun every day and focus on building products that genuinely help people,” he says.

The young entrepreneur has achieved great business “I was getting frustrated at how long and frustrating the

success at such a young age which to some might be

process was so I thought wouldn’t it be great if there

surprising given that it was not till after university he

was one location where lots of different high street

got involved in any form of entrepreneurship. However,

brands are in one place and I could compare different

as he points out that period after graduation can be the

black jeans quickly and in a fun way, and the rest as they

best time to start up a business.

say ....is history,” “A lot of people think you need to go and get lots of This most recent accolade from Forbes Magazine is

experience before you start a business but I actually

just one of many Russell and Mallzee have received.

think coming at something with a totally fresh approach

However, the journey to this point has not always been

can give you an edge. If you start early you also often

easy with Russell making the tough decision to turn

don’t have to worry about dependents or giving up a big 5


Current Affairs

salary that you’ve got used to. I think starting a business upon graduation is the perfect time! Don’t be afraid by what you don’t know, think of it as an opportunity.” So if you are sitting here, still contemplating what to do after graduation then perhaps it’s time to turn that business idea into a reality. Who knows maybe you could be the next Dundee Graduate to find yourself on the 30 under 30 list.

Euan Forbes

6

“one of the six apps that will change the way we shop forever”


M AG DA L E N

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TAKE YOUR FIRST STEP INTO JOURNALISM

01

WRITE

02

SEND US YOUR WORK

03

GET PUBLISHED

04

PICK UP A COPY

We have sections covering everything from Fashion to Science. If there isn’t a section for your work, don’t worry, we will make one!

themagdalen@dusa.co.uk

Our Editors will work with you to make your work perfect, so that you are happy with the finished result.

Or 20... You will want to send a copy to every member of your extended family... Right?

FIND OUT MORE AT: WWW.DUSAMEDIA.COM/MAGDALEN THEMAGDALEN@DUSA.CO.UK


Design

Leanne Fischler Orkney Level 4 Product Design DJCAD Leanne’s project, “Made in China”, was for a brief which asked her to design a light which embodied her values and interests as a designer. Exploring the issue of consumerism, she found that the repetition and sameness of mass production means that objects seem less valuable and are therefore easier to reject and dispose of. Alongside this, consumerism means that our deep individuality is reduced, expressed through duplicate objects and brand names. The final light was created through a process called slip casting, with twenty four translucent ceramic boxes made by hand. After they were fired, enamelled copper wire was used to connect them and tiny LEDs were hidden within them to create a subtle glow. Each box is handmade and is therefore totally unique. Through an emergent process, a crafted object is no longer just the sum of its combined materials; it is given meaning by human touch. In a society in which people define themselves through their possessions, Leanne’s design considers the deeper meanings inherent within the objects around us. Leanne’s biggest influence is her experience with the charity Skill Share Dundee. The charity helps to empower individuals across Dundee through making. The workshops teach traditional and useful skills and she is inspired by the way in which people react to these workshops, becoming more critical consumers and developing a deep community and connection. For her final year project Leanne is developing a kit for teenagers which proposes that we live in a dystopian society and challenges them to build their own mobile phone charger. The kit will provide the tools to build either a wind powered, dynamo powered, or solar powered charger from waste components. The project is aimed to get young people to consider the systems behind consumerism, and to reflect on the things that we take for granted today. 8


Design

If you would like to find out more about Leanne’s work check out her website at www.leannefischler.co.uk or get in touch with her on twitter at @leannefischler.

9


Enterprise

INTRODUCTION TO

C O L L A B O R AT I O N : T H E FAT H E R O F I N N O VAT I O N

Introduction to Collaboration: The Father of Innovation

the “Apple-1”, was created by an interdisciplinary group

In the world of design, collaboration is a tool used

of collaborators. Steve “Woz” Wozniak an electronic

almost every day. For example, you wouldn’t go about

engineer hand-built the device in hopes to sell it for

designing a dress without first asking the manufacturer

$40. Steve Jobs brought it to market and found a buyer

the material limitations. “Banana Armour” (the product

that purchased the computer for a staggering $500

that keeps my banana fresh, day in and day out)

each. And finally there was Rod Holt who developed the

wouldn’t have got very far if the designers hadn’t first

devices’ unique power supply, giving the Apple-1 life.

asked the guys at Chiquita how big there bananas are!

These three people brought entirely different skills to the table but through working together created a movement

Collaboration is the simple act of working with

that has changed the way we look at technology today.

someone to produce something that works. Generally,

Collaboration reaches its full potential when people from

collaboration is a great tool to use in principle, buts it’s

different backgrounds meet. Everybody has great ideas

certainly easier said than done. There are so many great

that remain unused because the right people aren’t there

ideas being thought up all the time, but just not enough

to make it happen.

people working together to make them happen. If you’re interested in coming to this month’s Crit-Café This was the thinking that lead to the formation of Crit-

find out more on our Facebook page. With a volunteer

Café, a monthly collaboration event that encourages

barista, free snacks and coffee for everyone, Crit Café

anyone to bring and share or refine ideas – to take them

acts as a great melting pot for creativity that is open to

to the next level.

all years and courses.

Great things are almost always born from a fusion

Finlay Page

of innovation and collaboration. One of the greatest examples of this is Apple. Ask yourself who invented

Find us at:

the first Apple product? Most of you will say the late

“Facebook logo”: Crit Cafe

and great Steve Jobs. In fact the first Apple product,

“Twitter logo”: @critcafe

10


Enterprise

ÂŁ 11



Lifestyle

WHEN SEX IS NOT AN OPTION

W

e all go through a stage when we are

have the emotional connection that I needed. My

discovering our sexuality. Through time, we

next boyfriend and I had been close friends for a

discover further aspects of ourselves that cause us

while and so I was able to feel attraction for him,

to doubt how we define who we are. This constant

but never in a sexual context. At first I thought it

change is what makes life so amazing. I have always felt

had to do with my traditional catholic upbringing.

very different – my interests tend not to conform with

After we broke up, however, I thought I simply wasn’t

the crowds’ – and, when it comes to romantic interests,

ready for that aspect of a relationship, whereas it

my approach to relationships was far more pragmatic.

wasn’t until this December that I realized the real reason for my lack of interest in sex: I am asexual.

As a teen I developed many ‘crushes’ but never expressed a desire to pursue any kind of relationship.

The current figure for asexuality is 1 in 100 and

I had my first proper relationship at university and

AVEN (Asexual Visibility and Education Network)

although my boyfriend was very sweet, we didn’t

13


Lifestyle

“It wasn’t until this December that I realized the real reason for my lack of interest in sex: I am asexual.”

I mean, seriously, sex talk and innuendos surround most aspects of social life and the act is expected to be an important component of a relationship. So, what happens when it isn’t an option?

I quite quickly began to understand that there is nothing wrong with being this way – that there was

provides information and forums where one can

nothing wrong with being different – despite the fact

arrange get-togethers with the other asexuals

that it makes life harder. The additional difficulty

in areas, such as Glasgow and Edinburgh. I will

mostly stems from the fact that it is harder to meet

definitely be attending the next gathering, as it

people but, in actual fact, what upset me was the

would be nice to talk to someone with the same

idea of exclusion from the social conversation. It

struggles as I have faced. Although my friends

was almost the sub-comments of everyday dialogue

and family have been very accepting, they

that caused the slight feeling of alienation.

haven’t been able to understand how I feel. This is not where the struggle ends, however, as not I’m not going to lie; when I first realized, I was quite

all asexuals feel the same way about relationships and

upset. It was not the fact that I would not be interested

intimacy. On the one hand there are aromantics – who

in sexual intercourse that upset me, at all; it simply

do not wish to have any romantic involvement and are

felt like a real confirmation that I could never fit in.

happy to be alone – whilst on the other hand there

14


Lifestyle

are asexuals – interested in romantic relationships with the same sex (homoromantic), opposite sex (heteromantic) or both sexes (biromantic); like me.

For those of us in the romantic community, relationships are different. Many times, people perceive the process of attraction as a series of

“...interested in romantic relationships with the same sex (homoromantic), opposite sex (heteromantic) or both sexes (biromantic)...”

events that naturally lead on to the act of sex. As an asexual, this process is slightly different; I see

differences, however, I have never felt excluded

the development of trust and understanding one

from social groups as, often, common ground

another as a goal, rather than a consequence of a

is largely irrelevant to sexual orientation.

relationship. In many ways, the non-physical elements of a relationship become all the more significant

Many things have changed for me but many of my

and constitute a form of intimacy in themselves.

dreams for the future remain the same. I still wish to get a job I enjoy; find someone to cuddle and

Describing this to people in your environment is

share my life with; and to have a family. I just don’t

also never easy, although with time I’ve embraced

want to do it all in what is considered the “norm”

being biromantic and I can truly say that I wish

but, all too often, the odd can also be beautiful.

everyone knew where I stood from the beginning, so as to avoid any confusion. Despite my sexual

Adelaide Gribbin 15



Science

The Depressing Truth As it transpires, the millions of suffering individuals that

million people, according to 2015 statistics released by

General Practitioners have been relentlessly prescribing

the Mental Health Foundation, but when and why did

antidepressants may have been negatively affected in

depression come about? Suggestions that depression

ways unimaginable to the victims of this pharmaceutical

is simply a symptom of an over commercialised society,

ploy. Each and every time we pop a disgusting pill

built around evolved primates, have not stood up to

between our lips we trust in the scientific reports

scrutiny — with the simple proof by counter-example

and reviews to protect us from potential damnation

being given by smaller, unadulterated societies such as

but, apparently, this trust has been abused through

the !Kung in southern Africa.

indolence, incompetence, and downright deception. The plight of depression is one that affects over 6

17


Science

This trust has been abused through indolence, incompetence, and downright deception.

Modern scientific analysis has suggested that depression may well have evolved into the species as a beneficial tool for reducing one’s propensity to be distracted whilst fulfilling a given task — by reducing psychomotor activity and inhibiting neurotransmitters in the individual’s reward system.

Depression may well have evolved into the species as a beneficial tool for reducing one’s propensity to be distracted whilst fulfilling a given task

That doesn’t mean that we should not try our very best to treat depression, as often the body’s own inhibitory circuits fail to lessen the damaging effects on the individual. Unfortunately, in order to achieve this gargantuan task, one must place the depressed individuals in the hands of pharmaceutical companies whose primary roles are to: a) treat illnesses through development of medicines and b) see an immediate return on any investment into the development of such drugs.

In an article published in January’s British Medical Journal (BMJ), 70 double-blind anti-depressant trials’ clinical study reports were reviewed to identify accuracy and transparency. The review focused on selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) and serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs), which are the most commonly prescribed anti-depressant drugs. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter, responsible for the transmission of signals in the brain, whereas norepinephrine is another name for noradrenaline and is also a neurotransmitter, 18


Science

responsible for controlling Patient listings, generally

Results such as these were completely omitted from the

found in appendices, were only available for 46% of the

original reports to health authorities and, as such, these

trials without an official request from medical authorities

drugs were admitted to the market and into our NHS.

to view the remainder. Moreover, these documents were not required for the initial round of submissions to the European Medical Authority (EMA) due to a regulation of the European Union — Regulation (EC) No 1049/2001 — which protects a company’s ‘commercial interests’ above the freedom of information within the union.

This study found little effect, positive or negative, on adults but found a doubling of suicidality and aggression in children given the pills.

One example of how exporting one’s ability to restrict markets and provide appropriate regulations is provided therein. The European Union, being able to impose

Moreover, a review in the Journal of Clinical

universal regulations for the good of the community,

Epidemiology discovered that one third of all meta-

is not, in itself, a bad thing but only if the companies

analyses into the effects of anti-depressants were carried

that they are protecting are worthy of our trust. So, just

out by employees within the pharmaceutical sector.

what does it mean for the patients at the end of this

Unsurprisingly, these individuals were less likely to report

production chain?

negative effects of drugs, with a 22-fold difference. This

Are biopharma companies truly worthy of our trust and

is a grossly abused conflict of interest that is simply

unreserved admiration?

not being addressed and is likely causing unimaginable suffering to those effected.

Are biopharma companies truly worthy of our trust and unreserved admiration?

This is not the end for anti-depressants as they are an unfortunate necessity of modern living. Safety reviews, however, need to change for the good of the depressed individuals in dire need of assistance and for the good of society as a whole — not least to restore the public’s trust in the scientific community. The rigour with which

That same BMJ report found that of those reports which provided an extensive, but not exhaustive, set of data

we scrutinise these reports is at least indicative of the degree of safety with which we provide the public.

for analysis, results were resoundingly negative. This study found little effect, positive or negative, on adults but found a doubling of suicidality and aggression in

Arran Hodgkinson

children given the pills.

19


Science

20


Science

R E N E WA B L E S I N

2016 Water-rich planets like our own lose water when

computed a few cities in the US and Chile, but their

vapour in the upper atmosphere is broken down by

plan is to expand further. On the other side of the

light and the resultant hydrogen flees into space.

Atlantic we also dabble in harvesting the sun’s energy.

This is a process so extremely slow that it would

Last month, Morocco’s King Mohammed VI flicked the

never affect Earth substantially if it weren’t for the

switch of the first section of what will be the largest

sun’s ever-growing heat and luminosity (which is

solar plant in the world. This section alone provides

also an extremely slow process). However, recent

enough energy for hundreds of thousands of homes,

mathematical models have predicted that if we burned

a number that will grow to a predicted 1.1 million once

all of Earth’s available fossil fuels we would accelerate

the plant is finished, in 2018. The plant is just one of

this loss, rendering Earth uninhabitable within a

the projects that will help meet Morocco’s goal of

geological timescale. That is still a few million years,

generating 42% of its energy from renewables by 2020.

but it is nonetheless reassuring to know that 2016 has already seen several advancements focused on

For the final one we move onto wind energy, in

renewable energies.

particular, the vibrations that arise from it. A paper published by engineers from Ohio State University

First of all is a project started by MIT, Mapdwell. It aims

describes how it may be possible to convert random

to “drive sustainable practices, community awareness,

vibration frequencies into electrical energy by

energy efficiency, and smart development through

exploiting the resonant frequencies inherent to

the aggregate effort of individuals” by assisting in

trees and other similar structures. These resonant

calculations for solar panel installation. The tool

frequencies absorb the vibrational energy from the

assesses the solar potential of each and every rooftop

higher frequencies, leading to a stronger, more uniform

in a city and maps it out. All you have to do is enter

sway that protects the tree from the wind’s random

your address into the program, and based on its

swings. Although more anecdotal than the previous

cost-benefit analyses it will tell you what installation

projects, the study encourages additional research on

works best (number of panels and their optimal tilt,

the usefulness of vibration-based harvesting systems.

among others) and predict costs and carbon offset. By

Artificial wind-sensitive forests, anyone?

eliminating the painstaking research and calculations necessary for “going solar” it definitely paves the path for more people to make the change. So far it’s only

Victor Chamosa Pino 21


Science

CUNEIFORM CALCULUS It has been long thought that one of the origins

with Jupiter, their astronomical significance went

of modern calculus lies somewhere in 14th

unnoticed. It wasn’t until recently, when Ossendrijver

century Europe, when European astronomers and

began translating a tablet that had been sitting

mathematicians developed the trapezoid method. The

untouched in the British Museum, that their significance

truth, however, takes us 1,400 years further back, to

was noted.

ancient Babylonia. The tablet he was translating was a procedural There are some 340 known Babylonian astronomical

tablet which preserved instructions on the method

tablets filled with data on lunar and planetary motion;

for calculating Jupiter’s displacement across the

and another 110 describing the arithmetic operations

ecliptic plane. The procedure tracked Jupiter’s

used to compute this data. Astroarchaeologist Matthieu

speed as a function of time, and then determined

Ossendrijver of Humboldt University in Berlin found

Jupiter’s displacement by calculating the area under

evidence that the Babylonians were employing the

the velocity-time graph. The computations covered

trapezoid procedure to track Jupiter’s path across the

a period of 60 days, during which Jupiter’s motion

sky in four of these tablets. One of the tablets mentions

appeared to slow (due to the complicated combination

Jupiter, and the other three are part of a collection of

of the Earth’s own orbit around the Sun with that of

procedures dealing exclusively with Jupiter.

Jupiter’s). The resulting velocity-time graph had a downward slope, and it was from this graph that the

Jupiter was a favourite of the Babylonians, who equated the gas giant with the patron deity of Babylon – Marduk

displacement of Jupiter was determined.

The trapezoid procedure is a method for approximating the definite integral – one of two main operations in calculus. The development of this geometric method foreshadowed the creation of calculus by Leibniz and Newton in the 17th century. It is well known that the

All four tablets preserved portions of the trapezoid

Babylonians had a deep understanding of mathematics

procedure, but despite the indications of a connection

and astronomy, but these tablets show that such an

22


Science

abstract insight into the connection between time and motion came about in Babylonia.

The procedure was originally believed to have been developed in 14th century Europe, and it is probably still true to say that Europeans developed it independently; much Babylonian knowledge was lost when the civilisation died out in 100 A.D.

A procedural tablet which preserved instructions on the method for calculating Jupiter’s displacement across the ecliptic plane. This discovery may seem to some to be irrelevant, however, it actually gives us a greater understanding into the history of mathematics and the scientific advancement of ancient civilisations. These findings will hopefully lead to a more concerted effort to protect and uncover more of science’s rich heritage.

The Great History of Mathematics Sophie Boswell 23


We are fundraising for this year’s charity

Children of Rwanda, founded by a University of Dundee student, provides financial help to children and families in Rwanda by paying directly for school and health insurance costs. The children that have been selected to receive this aid are located in two adjacent villages, Ngoma and Kigarama, on the coast of Lake Kivu in the western part of the country. Each child was chosen according to their individual circumstances, each case is unique, but all are in need of desperate help.


Learn more about CoR:

www.childrenofrwanda.org Find out about RAG events & help fundraise through:

www.dusa.co.uk/rag


Fashion

Variated Stripe This bold take on a stripe print is appearing everywhere on the high street at the moment and is set to be big for the next few months. There’s a variety of dresses, shirts and tops in the print, so you’re bound to find something you like that would make an on trend addition to your 2016 wardrobe. A shirt dress in the stripe print is a good choice, as it looks great worn with tights while the weather is still that little bit colder, but it can also be dressed up with over the knee boots for a night-time look. Shirt dress, Miss Selfridge £39

Lace-Up This trend has reached everything from heels to detailing on jumpers. Lace-up front bodysuits are big at the moment, and really great for switching up your night time outfits. Wear with a faux leather skirt one week, and high waist jeans the next. If that’s not your thing, the trend can easily be worn more casually through jumpers and sweatshirts with subtler lace-up detailing. Grey body with lacing, H&M £14.99

26


Fashion

Pinafore Although perhaps reminiscent of the ‘80s and ‘90s, the pinafore has made a comeback recently. This retro style of dress is ideal to purchase at this time of year as it can be worn layered with a jumper underneath, tights and boots, but as the weather gets warmer, it works just as well with cute t-shirts. Pinafore, Topshop £39

Khaki Khaki was all over the high street in Autumn/Winter collections, and it looks like it’s set to stay around for at least another few months. It’s such an easy to wear colour, and perfect to mix and match with denim. Layering is key at this time of the year and so a lightweight knit is the perfect way to add this on-trend colour in to your spring wardrobe. Khaki jumper, H&M £12.99

Neutrals Think dusty, natural tones of light pink, grey and nude. Any combination works well, whether it’s just the one item or an ensemble with a few different neutral colours. Missguided have a really amazing range of these colours just now, with everything from faux leather skirts to polo neck dresses in lovely neutral colours. Nude faux leather skirt, Missguided £18

Sarah Doig

27


Art & Entertainment

N

ow worth an estimated $7 billion, it’s fair to say

character in the underground rising to the mainstream

we have seen a colossal expansion in the music

and being exploited by big labels and corporate minds.

industry in recent years. More specifically in

We are then left to bury the battered, lifeless corpse of

Electronic Dance Music or “EDM” as neon-faced festival

the latest EDM trend along with its many predecessors.

ravers are calling it. The influx of new electronically

In the meantime, labels retreat to the internet,

produced music is quickly dominating the charts and

desperately trying to find the next wave of producers

is providing a platform for up and coming artists to

naive enough to succumb to their constraints put in

exhibit their talent. Resources have never been more

place to maximize profit. Am I saying that everything

widely available for those looking to delve into music

that becomes

production and opportunities are increasing thanks to the power of the internet. Just when we saw a rise in new, authentic music produced by teens in their bedroom fueled by nothing but their love for all things

“It’s common knowledge that where the public shows interest, larger labels see dolla signs.”

musical, in steps large record labels. Right on cue. Strategically branded as a “movement,” the expansion in

mainstream is bad music? Of course not. I don’t have a

EDM has quickly attracted corporate interest, something

large enough vinyl collection to warrant the “hipster”

which has the power to make or break the industry.

label that goes along with such a ridiculous statement. What I am saying, however, is that music should be

It’s common knowledge that where the public shows

appreciated from the roots up. Embrace small time

interest, larger labels see dolla signs. This is when they

producers in their bedrooms who are keen to share their

throw their poster boys and girls into a studio to record

unique twist on electronic music. Maybe then we can

pre written lyrics which they then shoehorn using auto-

develop keen, creative minds and re-introduce some

tune into a pre produced track. The result? The latest

form of originality into the sinking ship that is Electronic

sick club banger m8. They see the record sells well

Dance Music.

and begin to churn out track after track of the same music in hope of milking every last drop of money out of the trend before listeners and consumers inevitably get bored and move on. In a short sighted, cash fueled frenzy we see genres which gained popularity and 28

Mark Newell


Art & Entertainment

29


Art & Entertainment

30


Art & Entertainment

Wealth is something that has always been portrayed

madly in love with his (third) wife and multitude of

romantically in the media, presenting those with money

children, with a successful business empire. Of course

as having their own aura of superiority and prissiness, as

they had their problems, like all families do, but theirs

though simply having good fortune somehow elevates

were perhaps more tragic than most. For example, we

you from the rest of the general public and is the means

are shown one of the

of achieving happiness. Reality TV shows such as MTV Cribs, Keeping up with the Kardashians, and Made in Chelsea invite us into the lives of the fabulously wealthy, showcasing their lavish homes and lifestyles. Generally, we gain the impression that their lives are carefree, except the odd tiff over an incorrect Starbucks order or who last slept with who. Obviously.

The American documentary film Queen of Versailles

Reality TV shows such as MTV Cribs and Made in Chelsea invite us into the lives of the fabulously wealthy, showcasing their lavish homes and lifestyles.

follows the lives of Jackie and David Siegel, the owners of the former billion dollar business, Westgate Resorts. At the beginning of the film, this family are the perfect

children, with a successful business empire. Of course

example of being outrageously wealthy. All negative

they had their problems, like all families do, but theirs

connotations included. Jackie, a former beauty queen

were perhaps more tragic than most. For example, we

and model, shows the camera crew around her and

are shown one of the Filipino nannies again, and she

her husband’s new pastime; building a replica of the

explains that the youngest son chooses to sleep in

palace of Versailles to live in. This colossal build, when

her room, an outside, minuscule doll house originally

completed will be the largest and most valuable single

bought for the children to play in, as he can cuddle

family house in the USA. Upon viewing the house, the

with her and feel safe and loved. It becomes clear that

extreme excess becomes sickening. It boasts seventeen

despite Jackie’s best intentions, she can't give all of her

bathrooms, a tennis court, closets the size of two rooms,

children enough love and time, with so many new things

and two staircases; “One for going to see the kids,

happening in her life, and having mansions to built.

and one for going to my part of the house.” You can

Then it all goes tits, (or should I say silicone) up. In 2008,

imagine the look on the face of their Filipino maid, at the

America experienced a massive economic recession and

prospect of cleaning this place.

this was fatal to Siegel’s company. Suddenly, they were

We are shown a happy family, and a husband who is

millions of dollars in debt and the banks were prompting

31


Art & Entertainment

them to sell everything, including their beloved palace

a compulsive spender, and as someone who can’t

which was only half built. The higher you climb, the

remember the last time she was told “No”, she fails to

harder you fall. David, the main business owner, in a

heed this warning. Christmas shopping, she buys three

bizarre transformation, over time became extremely

of everything, another compulsive habit of hers, and

bitter and estranged from his family. The thing he loves

ends up leaving the shop with five shopping carts full

the most is being taken from him and the effects of this

of presents, including a bike for one of her sons, despite

become physically visible. He soon has a permanent

having at least fifteen bikes in her garage.

frown, with sunken, dark and constantly furious eyes. He ignores his children whom he used to play with and neglects his wife, at one point asking her “why did I marry an old hag like you?” In actual fact, he married

And then it all goes tits, (or should I say silicone) up...

a beauty queen, more than half his age... David then spends all of his time in his office trying to find ways to save his business, even refusing to come out when his

The beauty of being skint, or even just having to spend

family are downstairs waiting, after making a birthday

wisely, is that when we buy ourselves the odd thing, we

dinner for him. His wife is loving and patient through

truly appreciate it. You worked hard for those new shoes

it all, if not slightly in denial about the whole thing. It

and you love and cherish them when the purchase is

is said money changes people, and apparently a lack

made. For Jackie and her family, an excess of money has

of it does too. Previously, when interviewed by the film

made them numb to simple pleasures, and extremely

crew, David boasted about having been the reason that

hard to impress. What is the point of having money if

George W. Bush got into office, “through not entirely

you cant appreciate it?

legal ways I am not comfortable talking about on television”, said with a nauseatingly smug look on his

Today, this is an effect of wealth that is completely

face. He then goes on to admit, laughing, that the “war

overlooked, and neglected. Even in social media, being

on terror” wouldn't have happened had he not done

rich is idolised, and viewed as a life goal, the sign that

that. Top humour indeed.

you are happy and no longer need to worry. Queen of Versailles has proved what a vain and foolish idea this is.

What is interesting about this reality tv-style film is that

A few years after this film was made, the Siegel’s oldest

it gives us a rare glimpse into the uncensored lives of the

daughter, Victoria, was found dead in their mansion due

rich and famous, one where the bad bits aren't edited

to a drug overdose. It’s sad to think had she not been

out. With money, David was a cheery and amicable man,

surrounded by this great wealth in replace of attention

without it he becomes cold, unloving and ultimately

and care, she may have lived to be older than eighteen.

undeserving of his over-tolerant wife. He talks about

Money may buy you some cool shit, but it has never

trading her in for a younger model, literally, as he eyes

been able to buy love or happiness.

up the next Miss USA contestants who are at a party in his house. All of whom are young enough to be his grandchildren. Everything seems to fall into disarray. Their pets, including several dogs, puppies and snakes are left to roam around freely, doing the toilet wherever they please. One of the kid’s reptiles is even found dead in it’s tank, without food or water. To try and save money, David warns Jackie she must cut back on the amount she spends. However, as 32

Francesca Reid


Art & Entertainment

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RADIO@DUSAMEDIA.COM

DUSATV@DUSAMEDIA.COM


Societies

Seeing the Signs: British Sign Language

You may have seen a great deal in the news lately about

nature of a D/deaf person’s experience of the world.

the passing of the British Sign Language (Scotland)

BSL is a full, ‘real’ language just like any other – German,

Act, the BSL classes through the university’s Languages

Arabic, Mandarin. It is complete with its own phonology,

for All program or the Sign Language Society notices.

syntax (‘grammar’) and norms. The word order is

Despite this, there are many myths about the D/deaf

sometimes quite different: for instance, you could sign

community and BSL and D/deaf people in the UK still

“bridge man standing on” rather than “a man standing

face massive inequality. The President and founder of the

on a bridge”. Moreover, it allows you to represent things

UoD Sign Language Society writes on BSL, the D/deaf

visuo-spatially – useful when giving directions!

community, and why this matters. NB. D/deaf refers to those who identify as part of the Deaf community and culture (‘big D Deaf’) and those who have hearing impairment who don’t (‘small d deaf’).

BSL: What is it?

BSL: Who uses it? BSL is the first and preferred language of many (but not all) D/deaf people in the UK. Most BSL users are D/deaf, though there are many hearing users as well, particularly children of D/deaf adults (CODAs). It can be learned

British Sign Language is just one of approx. 130 signed

as a first language right from birth – in fact, toddlers

languages around the world, according to Ethnologue.

with D/deaf signing parents can start signing slightly

It is unique to the UK, although it shares a language

earlier than hearing children with hearing parents start

family with Australian (Auslan) and New Zealand (NZSL)

to speak.

sign languages. It is not the same as American Sign Language (ASL) – that actually belongs in the French

It should be noted that there is an incredible diversity of

Sign Language family.

deafness. Some people are deaf from birth (congenitally

Historically, BSL came into existence when Thomas

deaf), others acquire it later in life. It can range from

Braidwood founded a school for the deaf in Edinburgh

mild hearing loss to profound. Some D/deaf people can

in the late eighteenth century. By organising the D/deaf

use hearing aids or cochlear implants and others cannot

community, BSL was created by D/deaf people who

– but it is always their choice. Some sign, some speak,

used it. New signs were created that reflected the visual

some use communication aids and others don’t. 35


Societies

A

B

C

D

I

J

K

L

Q

R

S

T

Y

Z

BSL Finger Spelling Alphabet BSL: Why is it important? Why use BSL? Isn’t having a completely different language just making things harder for the D/deaf community? Can’t D/deaf people just use hearing aids/ cochlear implants/lipreading? These are common questions in the hearing community that stem from ignorance of what it is like to be truly D/deaf.

hearing people. This simply isn’t true. BSL also gives rise to a full and rich culture like BSL poetry and even signsong – singing in sign language using visual beauty in movement as an art form.

What can I do to help? There are a lot of things hearing people can do to help. For one, simply being aware that the D/deaf community

BSL enables D/deaf people full access to a language

exists, how diverse it is and that they face significant

that is their own, that they create and that reflects their

challenges, such as access to education and healthcare.

experience of living in an intensely visual world. For

For two, you could try to learn some BSL – even a little

centuries, it was believed that sign language would only

fingerspelling or the basics like ‘thank you’ can make a

hold a child back from achieving their full potential, or

difference in facilitating communication. If you’re feeling

prevent them learning to read or communicate with

very motivated, you could volunteer at the Tayside Deaf

36


Societies

E

F

G

H

M

N

O

P

U

V

W

X

Hub – they have a range of volunteer positions available.

else. Regardless of how they choose to communicate, D/

If it’s one thing you take away from this article, follow

deaf people are above all people.

these tips when you encounter a D/deaf person: You can learn BSL by taking a Languages for All • Don’t shout.

course at UoD, through Tayside Deaf Hub’s courses, or

It isn’t going to make you any easier to understand and

by joining the UoD Sign Language Society. Email the

makes it harder for D/deaf people to lipread.

President and author of this article at c.melvin@dundee. ac.uk or join their Facebook: facebook.com/groups/

• Face the person and make eye contact.

dundeeunisignsoc

D/deaf communication works visually so you can’t be understood if you’re looking away or covering your mouth with your hand.

• Treat D/deaf people with the same respect as everyone

Cameron Melvin 37


Societies

MUSIC AT THE UNIVERSITY OF DUNDEE

Are you passionate about music? The Dundee University Music Society is one of the largest and most active societies in the university, holding a number of successful concerts and social events throughout the academic year. We are comprised of five diverse groups that meet up and play together on a weekly basis, and perform music in a wide variety of genres and styles.

38


Societies

WHO WE ARE We have two instrumental groups including the very popular Big Band, who play a number of swing, jazz, and soul classics. They meet every Thursday at 7:30pm to rehearse for their many exciting events both on-and off-campus. Our magnificent Orchestra meets every Wednesday at 7pm and play various types of music, including a number of famous overtures, concertos, symphonies, and even soundtracks from film and TV.

The Dundee University Music Society also boasts three fantastic choirs: The Chamber Choir is the smallest of the three and is an auditioned group, meeting every Monday at 7pm in the University Chaplaincy, always exploring new styles of music and accepting new challenges. The Choir, the biggest and most varied group within the society is an ever-expanding force, meeting every Tuesday at 7:30pm to perform a host of works such as Handel’s Messiah and Carl Orff’s Carmina Burana. And finally our newest group the Gospel Choir meeting every Friday at 7pm to rehearse a variety of songs ranging from traditional gospel to contemporary pop in a friendly, relaxed environment. 39


Societies

We kicked off our busy year with a few social events, bringing together old and new members of the society. Our popular pub quiz in October was highly successful, with the winning team receiving a crate of craft beer worth over £90. The Big Band were also proud to present their first gig of the year ‘The Cooler’, returning to Mono to perform hits from the likes of Frank Sinatra to Amy Winehouse to an audience of jazz and swing enthusiasts. In November the society organised the event ‘Come and Sing: Messiah’, a fundraising effort which drew over 75 members of the community to come together to learn and perform Handel’s Messiah in a single day. It was all for a great cause, with a grand total of £1200 going to Nordoff Robbins Scotland’s projects in the Tayside area. The Big Band also helped The Magdalen celebrate the launch of their 50th issue in style by performing at their launch party in Air Bar. Towards the end of November, the Orchestra, Choir, and Chamber Choir joined forces to perform their Winter Concert in the Caird Hall, entertaining our largest audience to date and earning great reviews in the press. The varied programme included works from a variety of composers such as Mendelssohn, Borodin, and Bizet. The Gospel Choir also brought lots of joy last semester when they travelled to Newport in December to bring festive spirit to the residents of a local care home, and carolled outside the Union on the night of the annual Christmas Bash - accompanied by reindeer, no less! 40

WHAT WE’VE BEEN UP TO


Societies

OUR PLANS FOR 2016

This semester will be just as eventful, with various exciting concerts planned over the upcoming months. The Big Band will join forces with Swing Dance to bring us the ‘Great Gatsby: Live Jazz Club’ night on the 3rd March in Mono – which is a night that simply cannot be missed! On the 12th March the Chamber Choir shall be performing ‘Flora and the Prince’ in St Paul’s Cathedral - a brand oratorio written exclusively for the choir by a local composer. Another concert to look forward to is ‘Mozart’s Requiem & Mass in Blue’ which will be performed by the Orchestra and Choir in the Caird Hall on the 19th March. To round off a busy month the Gospel Choir shall also be holding their annual concert in March!

CONTACT US If you would like to find out more about becoming a member of the society or any of our upcoming performances, please get in touch at: musicsoc-president@dundee.ac.uk. You can also find us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/dundeeuniversitymusicsociety Or have a look at our new website: www.dundee.ac.uk/music

41


Societies Sports

ST U DY

ABROAD SOCIETY

The Study Abroad Society is a new DUSA organisation

Another important objective of the Study Abroad

that aims to increase awareness of the study abroad

Society is to provide a support system for incoming and

opportunities the university provides, as well as creating

outgoing exchange students. Going to live in a country

a support network for students who are taking part

you have potentially never been to before, knowing

in an exchange. Currently the society is a small group

nobody can be a very daunting prospect, however we

of students who have returned from an exchange in

are hoping that with a network of students in the same

Europe, Asia and North America who aim to promote

boat as you or those who have been there before will

studying abroad.

make the transition much easier. This is true for incoming as well as those students leaving Dundee.

As time goes on, we hope to increase our network to include international students studying in Dundee, those

It is also useful for the members from Dundee in first or

away on exchange and those hoping to go.

second year who are waiting to study abroad as they will hear first-hand accounts of the trials and triumphs

Our main goal is to encourage more students from

students are facing.

the University of Dundee to take part in an exchange for either a year or a semester. In order to promote

To create a solid network and encourage people to

studying abroad, we will be taking part in organised

consider an exchange, we want to hold social events to

fairs to publicise the opportunities available through the

get to know each other, alongside promotional events.

university. We will also be holding our own events which will allow students considering an exchange to hear

Anyone is welcome to join the society and learn more

personal experiences about the places they would like to

about the university’s exchange programs or just to

go. Further promotion will include short video interviews

meet a variety of people!

that will be shown on campus and made available on the university website so that more information will be available from the students who have been away. 42

Joanne Dunne


Societies Sports

PASSPORT

43


Societies

UNIVERSITY OF DUNDEE

C AT H O L I C S O C I E T Y The University of Dundee Catholic Society would like to invite everyone to come along and participate in some interesting and informative events this semester! We meet in the hall of St Andrew’s Cathedral beside the DCA (go down the steps on the left-hand side when facing the Cathedral). Our meetings usually begin with Mass at 7:15

We welcome Catholics and non-Catholics alike, and want to encourage anyone with questions to join us for fruitful discussions.

p.m. on Mondays, after which we delve into our topic for the week. Our topics for the rest of the semester include

Should you have any questions, search for ‘Dundee

discussions on vocations and the dignity of life. We

University Catholic Society’ on Facebook (we have a page

welcome Catholics and non-Catholics alike, and want to

and a group) We hope to see many of you at our meetings

encourage anyone with questions to join us for

and on the retreat!

fruitful discussions. Visit our website, <http://dundeeunicatholic.co.uk>. On a specific point, we have arranged a retreat to Pluscarden Abbey, the Benedictine monastery in Elgin, between Friday 1st April and Sunday 3rd April. The basic itinerary for the retreat is attending Mass and some of the Divine Offices (daily prayer at different times throughout the day). Outside of those services, the retreat is open, and we would be more than happy to take suggestions and ideas about what to do during the weekend. The cost for the retreat has not been finalised at the time of writing, but it is being subsidised, and should be around £20. This retreat is a great opportunity to escape from the pressures of university life, and an excellent chance to take in the beautiful countryside of Moray.

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M AG DA L E N MAGAZINE

THEMAGDALEN@DUSA.CO.UK

CONTACT@DUSAMEDIA.COM


Sport

46


Sport

Professional sport has a superb way of churning out

Charles Shackleford could have been one hell of an NBA

typically glorious quotes. Only in this cauldron of elite

player, if there had been the odd underwater game.

athletes and coaches can you hear contemplations that redefine the meaning of “insightful” (sarcasm is intended). Here is a collection of some of the finest quotes to brighten up your day:

‘I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father’

‘I watched Arsenal in the Champions League the other week playing some of the best football I’ve ever seen, and yet they couldn’t have scored in a brothel with two grand in their pockets!’ Ian Holloway is, quite simply, the master when it comes

Greg Norman was one of the best golfers ever, ranked

to memorable quotes. His managerial career had its high

number one for 331 weeks in the 1980’s and 90’s. He might

points, most notably at Blackpool and Crystal Palace,

not be taking part in any genealogy-based TV series

but the Bristolian is at his best when speaking his mind.

anytime soon though.

Expect a couple more entries from the man later on.

‘After Chelsea scored, Bolton epitulated’

‘Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein’

Sky sport’s pundit, Paul Merson, showcases his incredible command of the English language. This entry is one of

While doing so mistakenly, former NFL quarterback Joe

many from the former Arsenal player.

Theisman has proved his point rather effectively.

‘I dunno, I never smoked any Astroturf’

‘It was a damp squid for Liverpool’

Baseball player, Tug McGraw, was asked whether he

It’s Paul Merson again! Let’s remember he’s paid to talk on

preferred grass or Astroturf. We’ve all made that mistake

TV.

right?

‘I’m the oldest I’ve ever been right now’

I think one of these teams could win this’

Not wanting to poke too much fun at a two-time UFC

Andy Townsend – the original “stating the blatantly

heavyweight champion, but Tim Sylvia came out with a

obvious” co-commentator. The aforementioned quote

right corker here.

was just before the UEFA super cup final. The thing about finals is that someone will inevitably win.

‘I can go right, I can go left, I’m amphibious’

47


Sport

‘When they dont score they hardly ever win’

Alan Brazil clearly wasn’t the best at geography so launched an appeal for help. Thankfully he soon discovered that Levante were based in Valencia - in Spain.

Michael Owen – the current “stating the blatantly obvious” co-commentator. Owen’s particularly insightful comment

‘Nothing. She already has Zlatan.’

was in relation to Manchester City’s problems in finding the net earlier in the season.

The distinctive Zlatan Ibrahimovic was asked what he got his wife for her birthday. This was his response.

‘I ain’t gonna be no escape-goat’ Basketball player Karl Malone makes it crystal clear. Malone and Merson would make quite a team.

‘I love Fidel Castro, I respect Fidel Castro you know why? A lot of people have wanted to kill Fidel Castro for the last years but that motherf*****r is still here’ Ozzie Guillen came out with this gem while manager of the Miami Marlins. The problem, however, is that Miami has a rather large Cuban community who aren’t that fond of Castro. Guillen didn’t last long in the job.

‘I couldn’t be more chuffed if I were a badger at the start of the mating season’

If youre chopping and changing the team you dont get that word I cant pronounce beginning with C’ Paul Merson at his “consistent” best.

‘To put it in gentleman’s terms, if you’ve been out for a night and you’re looking for a young lady and you pull one, some weeks they’re good looking and some weeks they’re not the best. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She weren’t the best looking lady we ended up taking home but she was very pleasant and very nice so thanks very much lets have a coffee.’ Probably Ian Holloway’s most famous quote. This was the

Ian Holloway expresses his joy in a unique way after his Queens Park Rangers team beat Cardiff in 2004.

‘Levante have gone fourth in Serie A. If anyone can tell me what part of Italy Levante is in, please call I’ve no idea’ 48

analogy he chose to comment on his side’s “ugly” win.


49


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