WEDDING TRADITIONS

Sticking to tradition

WEDDINGS ARE ONE OF THE FEW EVENTS WHERE SO MANY OUTDATED TRADITIONS ARE STILL VALUED.

Faint feelings of superstition, respecting the expectations of senior family members and guests and a longing for a ‘traditional’ wedding are some reasons why couples are willing to make room for various quaint customs at their wedding. But finding ways to update the old favourites means a 21st century wedding can still honour the age-old sentiments. Today fathers hardly give their daughters away, especially if they have forked out a considerable sum towards the wedding celebrations. And not every father can perform this custom. Another relative, godfather, even the bride’s mother can easily perform the role. Some couples choose to walk into the ceremony arm-in-arm, or a bride may simply walk down the aisle by herself.

Seating arrangements are far less regulated too. Bride’s guests on the left and groom’s on the right is only a guide line. Nowadays, honoured and treasured family and friends should have the prime seats, at the front. Other guests may sit where they like on the remaining seats. If there are no ushers place signs at the entrance with this information.

And when it comes to walking back down the aisle, you do not have to be preceded by flower girls. Flower grannies, a handful of BFFs, who were not attendants, even the family dog are all being invited to take part in this procession at modern weddings.

During the ceremony, everyone listens to the couple’s vows; and here some of the biggest changes have appeared. Whether you choose the traditional service vows or write your own they have the same meaning. Now couples feel free to make their promises in their own words.

But one custom that no one would like to see lost is hearing those important words: ‘You may kiss the bride.’ Centuries ago, the kiss was as important as signing the marriage certificate in marking the moment the bride and groom are officially married. And it will always carry that magical association of the first kiss as a married couple.

Another big change is the white wedding dress. Many brides now choose other shades. And bridesmaids don’t all have to wear the same style of dress, or carry identical bouquets. Unifying their look through a theme or colour scheme is enough.

Attendants at today’s weddings no longer need to be specifically a best man, bridesmaids or groomsmen. Brides and grooms now chose friends or family members of either sex, as their attendants.

At receptions the order of events is no longer set in stone. Speeches, cake cutting, the first dance and entertainment/s take place in their own time with everyone, including the couple relaxing and enjoying themselves.

You could rethink the bouquet tossing ‘ceremony’ too. A belief that whoever caught the bouquet would be next to marry is beyond quaint today. Instead you could give it to a grandmother, place it on the grave of a loved one, take it to someone who would have been a guest but was not well enough to attend, or someone whose help with your

wedding was exceptional. Some brides choose artificial bouquets and often have them framed.

Bridesmaids, of course, will want to keep their bouquets, or perhaps choose one of the above ideas. And, again, their bouquets don’t have to all be the same. Different flowers and designs in the same colour scheme can look stunning.

One tradition that really deserves to survive, even the age of social media, is the invitation. The creativity and originality of an actual invitation makes it a joy to send and gives anyone receiving it a sense that they will be valued guests at a very special event.

So, even though we are in a selfie obsessed world, surveys have found that announcing your impending nuptials on social media via an ‘engagement selfie' is less popular than you might imagine, with fewer than 20% of couples saying they would do so.

But, while the old favourite traditions will survive to keep those sentimental touches that are vital for a wedding, it’s exciting to imagine what new customs couples will invent for their celebrations.