The Meliorist, Volume 46 Issue 20

Draw your own cover contest!

the

Instructions: Design your own cover for the Meliorist and drop it off at our office (SU 166, right beside CKXU and the Students’ Union office down the hall from the Registrar on the first floor of the SU Building).

Slide your submission under the door if it’s locked. The winner will have their choice of sweet prizes, or maybe all the prizes depending on how good of a mood we are in. We will also publish your cover, eventually...

Deadline is February 12th by midnight.

For the week of Thursday, February 7th, 2013 • Volume 46, Issue 20

the

meliorist

February 7, 2013 • 02

Campus Beat News Features Entertainment Top Story Procrastination Opinion Lifestyle Sports TLFs Student’s Union Classifieds The Meliorist: Mel-io-rism (meel’e riz’m) the doctrine that the world tends to become better or may be made better by human effort

4-5 6-7 8 - 11 12 - 15 16 - 17 18 19 20 - 21 22 - 23 24 - 25 26 - 27 30 An autonomous body, separate from the U of L Students’ Union SU-166, 4401 University Drive West, Lethbridge, AB, T1K 3M4 Phone: 403-329-2334 www.themeliorist.ca

Business Manager

Kelti Boissonneault Editor-in-Chief Opinions Editor einc@themeliorist.ca

b.manager@themeliorist.ca Creative Director/ Ad Manager/ Production Manager

Brandon Wallis

ad.manager@themeliorist.ca Photo/ Podcast Editor

Jon Martin

p.editor@themeliorist.ca

Vacant

Features Editor f.editor@themeliorist.ca

Art Department Assistant

Sam Loewen Copy Editor

James Forbes Staff Writer/ Distribution Manager

Matt Baird

Design Assistants

Travis Robinson

Sports & Lifestyle Editor s.editor@themeliorist.ca

Myles Havinga Nico Koppe Design Intern

Kenzie Ferguson Account Representative

Kristy Jahn-Smith

account.rep@themeliorist.ca Webmaster

Leyland Bradley The Meliorist is the student newspaper of the University of Lethbridge, published most Thursdays throughout the academic year by The Meliorist Publishing Society, an autonomous incorporated body. Please address all correspondence to The Meliorist, 4401 University Drive, Lethbridge Alberta, T1K 3M4, or drop it off at room SU-166. Deadline for submissions is Friday at 4 p.m. The Meliorist appreciates and encourages the writing of thoughtful, concise, timely letters. However, the Meliorist will only consider for publication those letters that are signed by the author. Special arrangements may be made for those wishing anonymity, but absolutely no pseudonyms. Letters should contain the author’s legible name, address, telephone number, and student identification number. The address, ID and phone number will not be published. The Meliorist reserves the right to edit submissions and will not print libelous material. Letters may be edited for brevity, clarity, and legality.

Nelson Chin

Campus Beat & News Editor n.editor@themeliorist.ca

Chris Morris Printing

Southern Alberta Newspaper Group Cartoonist

Ryan Kenworthy Contributors

Maggie Kogut

Entertainment Editor e.editor@themeliorist.ca

Andrew McCutcheon Brenna Scott Podcast Assistant

Andrew Martin Cover

Your Mom, lol.

JAPAN

MEXICO Leyland Bradley

Campus Beat Editor

International study programs

available

now!

Interested in studying abroad?

Study tours in Mexico and Japan are available now! Get course credit and experience a new culture in Mexico or Japan this summer!

Students are invited to complete one semester with a host family while attending classes at the Universidad Veracruzana in Xalapa, Veracruz, Mexico, or Hokkai-Gakuen University in Sapporo, Japan.

Study programs include language and skill development as well as traditional and contemporary cultural studies.

“The University of Lethbridge study exchange to Japan was a life-changing experience for me,” said Aaron Tamayose, former exchange student to Japan. “I was afforded the opportunity of a lifetime to go and explore such a unique and inspiring culture firsthand. Being a proud Japanese descendant, the trip also allowed me to discover where my family’s roots were started and to be able to form my own impression of where we

originated. Some of my personal highlights include the professional baseball game, scenic tours of Northern Japan, exploration of Hiroshima and Kyoto as well as the overwhelming level of hospitality that the great people that we encountered showed us. To be able to utilize an educational endeavour as a vehicle for self-exploration and global understanding is an amazing opportunity and I would encourage everyone to engage in this program.”

For more costs, requirements, and application information, please visit uleth.ca/international/content/japan or /mexico.

You can also contact Diane Minamide in the International Centre for Students at exchanges@uleth.ca.

This program is open to students who maintain a full-time student status this spring semester and maintain a GPA of at least 2.00.

Hurry! Application deadline is Feb. 15!

the

meliorist

February 7, 2013 • 05

Darwin Days at the bookstore!

Leyland Bradley Campus Beat Editor

If you haven’t already noticed the cut-out of a bearded man in the bookstore, you might want to check out what he’s guarding.

Darwin Day is this Feb. 10, and to celebrate, the University of Lethbridge Bookstore is currently showcasing books and other collectibles dealing with various science and philosophy topics. Rebecca Colbeck, tradebook buyer for the bookstore, gave the Meliorist the ins and outs of this week’s book display.

Books include topics on philosophy, critical thinking, science, free will, atheism, and other related topics.

Students will recognize some familiar names and titles – Plato’s Republic is on sale for less than $5 – alongside recently published works like Sam Harris’ Free Will.

“This is the first year that the bookstore has put on a display for Charles Darwin. And when we do displays like

this, we tend to get a lot of traffic. We did the Halloween display with the coffin – and it worked really well. We have a lot of fun with things like this.”

Rebecca explains that there’s more to benefit from supporting Darwin literature than surface-level learning.

“To me, Darwin and all of his writings tend to be a really good allegory for life in general, especially when you’re 18 and you’re trying to figure things out. It’s all about adaption. I know that’s totally nerdy – but they tie together nicely,” she laughs.

“You’re busy trying to figure out who you are outside of your parents and the friends you’ve been with since grade one, so it’s all about progression.

“Most of the display items are our regular stock, but there are some items that we ordered just for this occasion.” For example, the bookstore is selling Darwin fish 3D bumper

stickers and Darwin fish pins that were ordered specifically for the display.

“We were looking for a reason to bring in the stickers and pins. No one else in Lethbridge sells them. They’re unique to the campus bookstore.”

Mugs and t-shirts are also available, the latter of which have been visibly popular with shoppers.

“One of the most popular items is the global warming mug. We get a lot of these flying off the shelves.”

All display items are 15 per cent off, making all items harder to resist.

“We want to work for the benefit of the students. We can’t do anything about the prices of textbooks – the publishers set the prices – so we try to make things as affordable as possible.

We try to carry as much as we can and at the same time keep the retails really low.”

The Darwin display will remain until tomorrow, Friday, Feb. 8.

Also!

The Geography Department is hosting an event in honour of Charles Darwin this Friday, Feb. 8 in AH116 at 3 p.m. Professor Dan Johnson will give a talk entitled “Charles Darwin, Biogeography, and the Descent of Ideas.”

3

$

Where

million will take us

mental health funding on campus

Leyland Bradley News Editor

On Jan. 16, 2013 the University of Lethbridge was granted $3 million to put towards mental health funding, at $1 million each year for the next three years. The money is to be used for mental health initiatives and addictions on campus.

What’s on the docket for the U of L? Dr. Judith Lapadat, First Associate Vice-President, Students gives an in-depth briefing of the expected changes to come to the U of L. “We have a long-established counselling service [at the U of L] and lots of initiatives to help students already, but the demand across North America, at all post-secondary institutions, has really been increasing. Students are looking at extra support for all different kinds of things – mental health related – and it’s all the resources of academic life, juggling studies, family life, financial situations, a job; we have a good support basis on campus, but this will really help us to extend support to students.”

Lapadat assures that the funding isn’t reserved for Counselling Services only; the Health Centre will benefit greatly with the introduction of a psychiatric nurse, and the reintroduction of a dietician.

“Most students who come to the U of L are from away – about 70 per cent of students come from outside the city

and area. That means that they may not necessarily have the best support systems in place. Their family doctors are back home. We, at the U of L, can now offer general health support for students. And the demands are huge; this [funding] will really expand what we can offer.”

The U of L has experienced a significant increase in the numbers of counselling appointments made within the last five years. According to Lapadat, the increase is more than 75 per cent.

“Counselling deals with a number of student issues such as depression, relationship challenges, self-harm, abusive situations, career counselling, psychological reasons; we want to offer students everything possible, right away when they need them, and not have any waiting lists.”

Even before the grant was announced, work had begun this year to further help students with mental health.

“We hired a campus outreach coordinator. They’ve been coordinating a lot of workshops around campus on wellness, resilience, happy living, that sort of thing – and that’s been really, really popular. Lots of people have attended. We’re really happy with how well this service has been received.”

The big picture includes more staff

and longer hours for Counselling Services.

“We plan to hire two full-time counsellors out of this grant. We are also going to extend the hours that counselling is open – right now it’s just daytime hours. This will allow for better access for residence students, and lots of students are here in the evening – or for many students, the evening is just a better time for them.”

Northern campuses will get their fair share too.

Campuses in Calgary and Edmonton are growing – total student population makes up 1,000 people for both campuses combined.

Counselling services are expected to expand there as well.

The final piece is surveys. Most of the initiatives set in place will not be down without the add-on of student input and guidance. The National College Health Assessment (NCHA) survey is expected to come out this spring.

The University of Alberta did the NCHA. Results of the survey were published by Maclean’s in September of 2012. Of the students surveyed, more than 50 per cent felt overwhelming anxiety, almost 7 per cent seriously considered suicide, and about 1.2 per cent attempted suicide.

When can we expect the changes to

begin? “Any day. It’s all green lights go, and we’re just waiting to hear from the provincial government.”

Could it start benefitting students this semester? “We hope. The minute we have the funding in place we’re going to start to fill those positions – the counsellor positions, and the Health Centre positions, and the positions in Calgary and Edmonton.”

After the three-year period, additional funding may need to be requested from the province to extend the programs and development available for future years.

“We’re really grateful for the funding from Alberta Health. It’s a really wonderful investment for the students of Alberta. It’s very forward-thinking.”

the

meliorist

February 7, 2013 • 07

THE BIG PICTURE mental health funding basics

$

3,000,000 When does it start?

ASAP When does it end?

2016 Cost to u of l students?

ZERO DOLLARS

from

Alberta Health WhAT: - Extended counselling service hours - Two full-time counsellors - Support for Calgary and Edmonton U of L campuses - Dietician and psychiatric nurse for Health Centre - More to come

?

A guide to getting involved A glimpse at campus avenues for networking and plain old fun

Kelti Boissonneault Editor-in-Chief

ON CAMPUS

As the semester starts to level out and life begins to take on a normal pattern, some students may find that they are curious about networking and how to become more involved in the campus. The University of Lethbridge and its many resources, as well as the community in general, offer a number of ways for students to get involved and meet people and experts in their fields. Below are some ways to meet new people and get involved in those organizations that a) look great on a resume, and b) may open doors in the future.

Keep in mind that this is in no way an exhaustive list, and only represents the top of the iceberg for possibilities!

CKXU Radio - Drop in and chat with the friendly folks at the radio station (SU Floor 1) to find out how to guest spot on the air, or start to host your very own radio show! Not sure you’re up for that? Chat with them about their volunteer activities and the various fundraisers they plan and pull off every year – this kind of thing impresses employers when it comes up on your resume and in job interviews.

Contact: Aaron Trozzo – manager@ckxu.com Website: www.ckxu.com The Meliorist - Located behind the radio station, the newspaper office is open during the week, particularly on Monday and Tuesday afternoons.

Contact any of the editors (e-mails found on first page of weekly publication) or other staff to inquire how to get involved. Writing articles, taking photos, or other volunteer activities are a great way to get an inside scoop on the world of basic journalism and get an intro into the organization.

Contact: Kelti Boissonneault – einc@themeliorist.ca Website: www.themeliorist.ca LPIRG - Located in Galileo’s Lounge (SU floor 2) the Lethbridge Public Interest Research Group offers funding for various public interest projects and has a massive wealth of knowledge for anyone looking at working or volunteering in the non-profit sector. These guys partner on a number of amazing events

throughout the year and are very excited to offer any student every opportunity to get involved in their world.

Contact: Kristina Larkin – pirg@uleth.ca Website: www.lpirg.org (website currently under construction) Clubs - On the ULSU website there is a list of all of this year’s ratified clubs and their contact information. If you missed Rush Week in the Atrium or would simply like to contact a club to check out, seek them out here. If you’re looking for something in particular and it doesn’t exist yet, talk to the ULSU and get a club set up; it’s easier than you think and is a great way to wiggle a social life into your study schedule.

Contact: Shuna Talbot – su.internal@uleth.ca Website: www.ulsu.ca The Women’s Centre - The Women’s Centre is located in the tunnel hallway that joins with the SU building along the first floor and is home to a wealth of knowledge on issues spanning a broad spectrum that isn’t just for women! Any and all students are welcome to pop in for resources or to relax on their comfy couches, and to attend any of the events this organization puts on throughout the year.

Contact: womens.centre@uleth.ca Website: http://people.uleth.ca/~womens.centre/welcome.html

the

meliorist

February 7, 2013 • 09

off CAMPUS

Off campus, a number of organizations offer excellent opportunities to become involved in the community and (more secretively) start networking with professionals in your field of study in the hopes of career connections later.

Allied Arts Council — The Allied Arts Council is a non-profit organization whose focus is to provide leadership in the advancement and enhancement of art in Lethbridge. Their website is a great tool to start the process of getting involved and includes information on members, which are groups that span everything from textile arts to dance and beyond, as well as information on calls for submissions from various other organizations for commissioned works. They also host festivals, and contribute information on artist residencies around the world.

Contact: info@artslethbridge.org Website: www.artslethbridge.org SAAG — The Southern Alberta Art Gallery is always in search of volunteers who enjoy working with the public and have a passion for and knowledge of art. The gallery hosts workshops, exhibits, classes, and many other events throughout the year in which they rely on volunteers to donate their time to help make possible.

Contact: Marilyn Smith — msmith@saag.ca Website: www.saag.ca Galt Museum and Archives – The Galt features a number of events throughout the year that include everything from Scotch and Burns and Rocky Horror Picture Show to public and school classes for children that focus on Southern Alberta history and culture. The Galt is always looking for volunteers whether it is for helping with the public programming side, or down in the archives or collections

departments. You will also pick up some wicked skills in any of the departments and get a glimpse of the behind-the-scenes at museums.

Contact: Christopher Roedler –volunteers@galtmuseum.com Website: www.galtmuseum.com Historical societies — Local historical societies, including the Lethbridge Historical Society, Galt No. 8 Mine, and Stirling Historical Society to name a few, are always looking for interested volunteers to help out! Google any one of them and they will pop up with contact information (sometimes websites are old and out of date so contact information may be hard to get). These are excellent organizations to become involved with, particularly if you are interested in remaining in the area after you graduate, as you meet lots of people with different backgrounds and get to vastly expand your network.

Clubs — There are any number of clubs in the community ranging from crafts/artisan guilds down to hobbyist societies that are constantly on the lookout for new members and volunteers. Sometimes it is difficult to find clubs or information to contact them, but with a little digging they are usually pretty easy to find.

The key with getting involved in any of the campus or community organizations is simple: don’t be shy. If you are interested in what these organizations offer, you will have the opportunity to learn all about them from devoted

members. Despite the temptation to sit at home, relax, and play video/computer games all night, getting out and networking in your community could have big pay-offs in the long run — not to mention all the valuable experience you gain and how great volunteerism looks 0n a resume. Just remember: all good things in moderation, and don’t forget about your studies.

Get your game on!

Top 1o games of good old-fashioned fun for friends and family

Kelti Boissonneault Editor-in-Chief

Face time with friends and family becomes limited as students get bogged down with assignments, papers, class work, jobs, and other demands on their time. So here is a list to help you gain back some of what you’ve lost. These are easy-to-learn games and classic favourites that don’t take all night and help students unwind during a study break. Remember to plan time for these leisurely lapses and don’t use them to procrastinate on those all-important assignments. Also, turn off your cell phone while playing and allow yourself to concentrate on the game: the experience is way more rewarding.

10. Rumoli: If you don’t know what this game is, you need to look it up. It involves cards, gambling, and is quick to learn and easy to play. Rounds typically last 30 minutes, which is a nice time for a study break. It is also easy to pick up where you left off if you need to get back to the grind and can’t finish a full set. Available pretty much anywhere, it’s a combo of rummy and poker with two rounds of play: the poker round and the rummy round — tokens are the score keepers (we like to use pennies).

9. Wizard: This game involves a deck of cards and a score-pad and includes up to six players. Average rounds last about 30 minutes, and it’s a lot of fun when it becomes cut-throat. Also

could involve gambling if that’s your thing, but players usually play for points, not cash. It’s one of the fastest games to learn, and the easiest to remember.

8. Poker: Obviously an old-timey favourite, this game is adaptable in a variety of forms and is easy and quick to learn. With a proper set of poker chips, buy-ins are easy if you’d like to include money in this game, and it offers an easy distraction for conversation during play. Most players like to gamble, but keep an eye on your money and stay within the limit you set at the start of the night. The currently most popular form of this game is Texas Hold ‘Em, which offers easy-to-understand rules and a simple randomizing turn pattern that makes hands that much more difficult to predict.

7. Trivial Pursuit: A great old stand-by Canadian game that invites a bunch of people to test their knowledge. With all the variations out there it’s impossible not to find a version that you’ll adore (my favourite is the deluxe Star Wars edition). Average game time is one to two hours.

6. Colour-dot-dominos: CDD is an excellent and easy game – quick to pick up and even quicker to become skilled at. Average game time is even as short as half an hour and invites up

to eight players at a time to contribute.

5. Munchkin: For all you Magic the Gathering fiends out there, Munchkin is a cute knock-off humorous edition of card-based adventure games.

Munchkin is a little more complex and takes usually one or two tries to fully understand, but it’s hilarious good fun.

4. BANG!: A spaghetti western originally designed and produced in Italy, the cards are dual-language Italian and English, and includes many wonderful opportunities to slay your fellow players in the hopes of winning.

With secret sheriffs, outlaws, vice, and renegades, it’s impossible to know who is on your team — until after they’ve died. Beer and whisky have regenerative properties, and this Old West-style game prompts hilarity and cut-throat play. Average game time is one hour.

3. Taboo: A game of verbal wit and teamwork, this game takes mere seconds to understand and is fun and challenging in a big group of people.

You need four or more to play, even teams work best, and when gameplay really gets going there’s plenty of opportunity for hilarity. Set a lower point limit to finish sooner, but average game time is about 30 minutes.

2. Cranium: This is similar to Trivial Pursuit, but involves a lot more variety of actions, making it all the more challenging. The bigger the group of people with this game the more fun, as your teams expand to include various skillsets and patterns of thinking. It definitely is an exercise for the brain, and becomes even more challenging the more you imbibe.

Average gameplay time is one or two hours depending on how well your team does!

1. Settlers of Catan: This game is amazing. Without the expansion packs only four players can play, but it is crazy good fun full of strategy. All about resources and building empires, it’s a quick version of more complex empirical games like Risk, and involves more trade and randomization. Average gameplay lasts about one hour, but could go longer with expansion packs and more people.

the

meliorist

February 7, 2013 • 11

And the

pressure

…

is on

Here comes

Valentine’s

Day

Brenna Scott

Features Opinion Contributor Valentine’s Day, a lame day in February or the most romantic day of the year? Well, it depends on who you ask.

Whether you love it or hate it, most people have a strong opinion regarding Feb. 14. Females in a relationship eagerly anticipate Valentine’s Day, while males often feel pressured to find the right gift – romantic, but not too sappy. For many females, Valentine’s Day is filled with high hopes of receiving flowers, chocolates, jewelry (hopefully the kind that doesn’t turn your neck green) or some other form of cute Valentine’s memorabilia.

Males are just recovering from the expense of Christmas. Who has money or time for another round of shopping?! I’m not saying I don’t love those cute gifts as much as the next

person, but my question is this: why is so much pressure put upon this one day? If you are in a relationship or seeing someone special, shouldn’t you be showing them that you love and appreciate them every day?

People shouldn’t need a commercial holiday to show their love and appreciation for one another. There is no reason why you should feel any pressure on Feb. 14. So relax!

Whether you are single or in a relationship this upcoming Valentine’s Day, you really can’t go wrong with my foolproof Valentine’s Day plans, and that is enjoying some delicious heart-shaped pizza… because let’s face it, everything tastes better when it is the shape of a heart. We may be poor students, but we all have to eat!

U of L production of The Neverending Story well on its way to sparking audiences’ imaginations Maggie Kogut

Entertainment Editor “It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to deal with your fears; not just okay, I think it’s important.” This semester, MFA student Andrew Legg is directing a production of The Neverending Story, and this theme of facing fears is something that Legg and cast members have been exploring in rehearsals for the upcoming play. This theme is also, of course, explored in the original German novel by Michael Ende. Since then, the story has been adapted into a 1984 film, and then to a 2008 play adaptation by David S. Craig, a noted Canadian playwright, “especially for young audiences,” says Legg.

The U of L production of The Neverending Story is directed towards the upper elementary age. The play is not an “issue” play, as Legg says, but many childhood issues do rise to the surface in The Neverending Story, including bullying and dealing with death. According to Legg, there is a lot of good “weight” to the story.

An interesting aspect that this production will incorporate is puppets. “I’ve had a great team to work with in the props department,”

says Legg. “We’ve got a lot of expertise there.” Fortunately, puppets have been available early for the cast to work with in rehearsals, to work out the technical aspects of how puppets will work in the show. “They’re kind of like other cast members,” says Legg.

As well, Legg had the opportunity to work with The Old Trout Puppet Workshop, “the foremost puppeteer company in Canada, if not North America.”

“I had a certain idea of the kind of puppets I wanted to build,” says Legg, but after consulting the company, “they completely refocused my idea.”

“The biggest and most important question that they asked me is ‘What is the play about?’” For this play, a broad answer is “the heart of a child’s imagination.” Legg didn’t want the puppets to overtake that important aspect, so he changed the ideas that he had for puppet use in the show.

“It’s about finding the right thing.” He says that the more you invest in the script and in rehearsals, the more the right thing “starts to make sense.”

As a result of these collaborations, the show incorporates the interesting

idea of found puppets. Legg says that basically everything in Fantastica has been “seeded” in the “real world” of the show. For example, the character who plays Falkor in the real world is a janitor, so consequently Falkor’s puppet is “created out of janitor stuff.”

“The puppets are kind of raw,” says Legg. “We see what they used to be.”

However, the show will also incorporate a wide range of other puppets including hand and shadow puppets.

Through found puppets, Legg wants to capture a sense of pareidolia (Legg gave me this word, by the way – I only wish my own vocabulary was as rich): “it’s like that moment when you were a kid and you looked into the closet at night and there was something there,” says Legg.

Apart from puppets, The Neverending Story is going to be a big show – 16 actors, everyone except Bastian playing more than one role, multiple costumes, multiple puppets and props, and 19 locations on set. “I could not have done this project without all the designers in place,” says Legg. Said designers include

costume, sound, set, lighting designers, as well as fight choreographer.

“Everybody’s been fantastic,” says Legg. “It’s going to be substantial … it’s going to be a good ride.”

With the show’s incredible technical aspects starting to fall in place, now the cast has been working on “putting the heart into it.” As Legg explains, “It doesn’t matter how pretty all the stuff is if the heart’s not there.”

The show will run from Feb. 12 to Feb. 16 at the University Theatre, and tickets are available at the box office.

“I knew that I wanted to do a show for younger audiences,” says Legg.

After sifting through everything from Narnia to The Magician’s Nephew, Legg finally found the script. “It really spoke to me in a few ways.” Legg says that he really enjoys doing Canadian work, that Craig is “well thought out,” but mostly Legg says that he remembers “loving the story as a kid.”

So this February, why not step back into your childhood and let The Neverending Story whisk you away into a fantastical world of imagination?

the

meliorist

February 7, 2013 • 13

Fledermaus The Opera Ball!

Maggie Kogut

Entertainment Editor This semester, the U of L Opera Workshop partnered up with the Lethbridge Symphony Orchestra and Vox Musica to bring to the stage Fledermaus. The full stage production was directed by Blaine Hendsbee and conducted by Glenn Klassen. The original Die Fledermaus, composed

by Johann Strauss between 1873 and 1874, was brought to the Southminster Church last week as a slightly modernized version of the operetta.

The setting of the production was 1920s Vienna. Extravagant costumes, period dances, and a roaring party atmosphere all suited to portray the vivacious time period of the ‘20s.

Fledermaus was roaring-ly hilarious, and a joy to watch. Dance choreography was unified, with similar moves tying together various numbers throughout the show. Costumes were fabulous. The second act of the show, “The Opera Ball,” brought to life a fantastic array of delightful characters to fill a costume party, from the Queen

of Hearts to King Henry VIII. Rosalinde and Adele’s costumes were particularly fun – very 1920s.

For the production, the Southminster stage had to fit not only the cast and the set, but the orchestra as well; thus the set was simple and elegant, and this suited Fledermaus. It allowed for the characters to fill the stage with their presence and hit the audience with their fun energy and amazing voices. The singing and the music in this show was beautiful. Congratulations to all the cast members, the symphony orchestra, and the choir; the effect of these three musical components was colossal.

The operetta also had a very nice arc of action that was enjoyable to follow.

The events of act one led up to the grand party with anticipation and growing excitement. The atmosphere created at said party, with all the chorus members, costumes, singing and dancing, was very fun to watch.

And finally a very intriguing act three

followed where events and identities from the previous act were hilariously untangled.

As mentioned earlier, Fledermaus was very funny. Like Orlofsky, I was quite amused and intrigued as to how Falke’s revenge prank would turn out. I really enjoyed watching characters figure out who other characters were – both during and after the party – and their subsequent reactions. As well, played by Jaimee Jarvie in the production that I had the pleasure of seeing, the maid’s theatrics were hilarious and over-the-top. The jail keeper (Ian Fundytus) for most of the show was the kind of drunk that is very fun to watch. Not to mention the Irish tenor (McKade Hogg) – his bathrobe costume right down to his incessant and sporadic singing were knee-slappingly funny. It really is too bad he was left out of act two for mistakenly sitting in jail all night as Eisenstein. And there was of course the main couple, played

by Jana Holesworth and Jason Ragan,

whose crazy relationship antics chased circles around them throughout the show. The Russian prince and party host, wonderfully played by Caitlin McCaughey, was, according to the programme notes, channeling a Marlene Dietrich vibe, an iconic actress, which McCaughey pulled off.

Ivan, the prince’s major-domo was played by Cesar Aguilar – and in a witty opposition to the prince who is actually a woman, had quite the lovely female voice.

Although I had a notion that operettas are generally light in subject and amusing, I had never seen one before last week’s production, and I never expected such fun and such comedy from Fledermaus. I was very pleasantly surprised, and overall I had a great time being drawn into the 1920s frivolous world of Fledermaus’ eccentric and lovable characters.

Chacun à son goût!

Your shit sucks: Andrew McCutcheon Entertainment Writer

George Carlin has a great quote (among many) that I remember going along the lines of, “despite the high cost of living, it remains quite popular.” I bet old George would find that quote pretty humorous considering the fact that he is dead. I also bet that he would probably be pretty pissed off that I’m putting words in his mouth.

Regardless. I agree with old curious George. The cost of living can be pretty expensive sometimes.

This brings me to my main problem with the musical Rent, which is as follows: You should pay your goddamn rent.

Period.

Rent is a critically acclaimed musical that premiered on Broadway in 1996 as a loose retelling of the opera La Bohème, replacing the tuberculosis with AIDS and the original French characters with whiny New York “artists” – “artists” in quotation marks.

Now, I’ve seen the film version and an onstage production, and I find it astounding that any opening number could set up the film’s lead characters as anything other than completely asinine whiny douchenozzles. Here we are introduced to Mark (the completely forgettable filmmaker), Roger (the

Rent

whiny angst-filled musician type), and Tom (an anarchist professor. And being an anarchist already paints him as a complete write-off). Then there is Benny. Benny tells them that he can no longer do them the favour of providing them with free rent, and that they are going to have to start paying him to live there. This is where I got confused because Benny is portrayed as an antagonist, and I had nothing but support for him. They launch into the first big opening number, singing about how they are refusing to pay him rent and how this has ruined their friendship.

What in the actual gobstopping Willy Wonka purple-suited bullshit is this?

If this was an actual person that I knew, I would punch them in the face.

Pay your goddamn rent you idiots. It doesn’t matter if you are an artist; that does not exclude you from participating in society, and that doesn’t place you above the rest of us. Moreover, there are often voicemails played from the various characters’ parents asking them if they are alright, offering support and wishes for them to come back home. These voicemails are portrayed as things to be ridiculed by the characters onscreen. Jesus. What

sort of my-parents-don’t-understand-me and I’m-an-artist-why-don’t-they-get-it immature attitude is this? I don’t want to speak ill of the dead, but you know Jonathan Larson probably got sent to his room without dinner one too many times to portray such an asinine and skewed depiction of parents wanting what’s best for their children.

Now, I know I am taking umbrage with just the first number, but the problems inherent in Rent continue with the rest of the show. Most of the characters are wholly unlikeable and the only reason the audience is forced into sympathy for them is due to their medical conditions. AIDS plays a prominent roll, killing off the only semi-likeable character in the show by the start of the second act. Every other titular character is either selfish, dishonest, self-centered or a combination of the three. This leads to another area that I take issue with: the philosophical ideas that the show presents.

First. I want to say. That artists. Are very important. And I am not a capitalist. I love socialized medicine and think our education system needs as much funding as possible. Okay?

Okay.

All that being said, fuck entitled “bohemian” artists.

You are not better than everyone else because you refuse to live by cultural standards. I really dislike the elitist attitude people take when they say, “I refuse to live by society’s standards of settling down, buying a house, and getting a career.” Fine, if you don’t want to live by those standards, that is completely okay with me. But don’t expect everyone else who does do that (and pays taxes) to support and accommodate you for it. It’s not a necessity and your artistic dream is not of public importance. I understand the importance of art subsidies from the government, but it frustrates me how easy it is for a person to get thousands of dollars for their post fifth wave proto-anarcho-communist absurdist street theatre production in which they dress as a Christmas tree and drink Bailey’s out of a shoe while everyone else nods in agreement about how fascinating it was – all the while forgetting that we paid for it. And some of us don’t want to pay for it. Some of us would like to hold onto our money.

Because we have rent to pay.

the

meliorist

February 7, 2013 • 15

Open call for submission to comedy writing competition Maggie Kogut

Entertainment Editor Nearly Robots is organizing a competition for “young Canadian comedy writers.” Although geared towards university students, the competition is open to all Canadians.

Nearly Robots has over $400 cash and prizes as competition incentive. The company is looking for humour essay submissions and candidates can submit their essay to nearlyrobots@gmail.com. The deadline for submissions is midnight of Mar. 15, 2013.

The essays have to be a minimum length of 250 words, but no longer than 1,000 words. Only one entry is allowed per person and entries “must be hilarious, ribald, humorous, humarious, or mention Jeff Goldblum.” If this sounds up your alley, note that the grand prize for the contest is

$350. For further information contact the editor-in-chief of Nearly Robots, David MacLean, at davidmaclean@gmail.com.

Nearly Robots is organizing this competition in order to promote growth of “Canada’s under-nurtured […] community of young comedy writers.” According to Maclean, “In the U.S. there are institutions like the Harvard Lampoon and College Humor that give young comedy writers an opportunity to showcase their ideas and have a shot at turning professional whereas in Canada the best we can hope for is a chance to be a really funny doctor, lawyer, rig-worker or distiller of maple syrup.” This could potentially work pretty well, at least for some of the lowest levels of

comedy. Just think of the wide world of puns that can be applicable to maple syrup. To return to the root of the matter, MacLean continues and says that “there is no nationwide network for discovering and nurturing young talent.” I don’t mean to be a sap or anything, but the Nearly Robots competition is an active step towards changing that and creating a resource where young comedians can showcase their work.

“What we’re aiming to do is to create an accessible community for young Canadian writers that will also serve as a platform to showcase their talents to the powers that be,” says MacLean. Jacob Samuel, editor at Nearly Robots, says, “A lot of great stuff is happening in the Canadian

stand-up and improv communities, particularly with the rise of venues such as Comedy Bar in Toronto, but written humour has largely fallen by the wayside.”

It would appear that comedic writing is in a rather sticky situation,and I won’t sugar coat it, but Nearly Robots is a company that is working to promote comedic writing.

The company “is an online comedy forum that publishes any material that is either a) hilarious b) frolicsome or c) references Jeff Goldblum.” Nearly Robots was founded by David MacLean, Jacob Samuels, and others in 2012. For more information on the contest and on Nearly Robots, visit nearlyrobots.com. So tap those comedic valves and get writing.

the

meliorist

February 7, 2013 • 18

Crossword

Across 1. To yield or submit 6. Hairless 10. Not closed 14. Any animal with no feet 15. Not pre-recorded 16. Square block 17. Criminal 18. Twin sister of Ares 19. Gloat 20. Companionship 22. Small island 23. Schnozzola 24. Tough going 26. Colorful salamander 30. By means of 31. T 32. Comply with 33. Terminates 35. Anxiety 39. A flavorful addition 41. Consume 43. Go in 44. Sleigh 46. Chills and fever 47. Mayday

Sudoku

49. Euro forerunner 50. Low-fat 51. Set in from the margin 54. Gentle 56. Classify 57. Extraneous 63. Plunder 64. Be unsuccessful 65. Ill-gotten gains 66. Feudal worker 67. Fluff 68. Clean between teeth 69. Clairvoyant 70. Jittery 71. Basic belief

So long, thanks for all the wishes?

Down 1. To cast aside (archaic) 2. Type of sword 3. Gangster's gal 4. False god 5. Mortise and _____ joint 6. Rewards 7. Simpleton 8. 57 in Roman numerals 9. Dictator 10. Not oriental 11. Handbag 12. African virus 13. Handrail post 21. Interlaced 25. Back 26. Memo 27. Black, in poetry 28. Cried 29. Typographer 34. Forte 36. A measuring instrument 37. Gull-like bird 38. Adolescent 40. Weightlifters pump this

42. Grownup 45. Short-tailed furry-footed rodent 48. Quell 51. Small islands 52. Hangman's knot 53. Pilotless plane 55. Dutch pottery city 58. A female domestic 59. Govern 60. Computer symbol 61. Backside 62. In order to prevent

Easy Hard

the

meliorist

February 7, 2013 • 19

Our truth and effort:

Out with plastic, and back to paper Kelti Boissonneault Editor-in-Chief

I was lucky enough to spend the last two weeks in Hawaii on the beautiful island of Maui with my family. We rented a condo, lounged on the beach, and in general relaxed. The nice thing about renting a condo is the ability to cook rather than go out for dinner. What I noticed is that every time we went out for groceries, or really shopped at all, every time we accepted a bag for our goods the bag was paper and not plastic.

This, being unusual to me, got me thinking.

After protracted internal debates over the relative usefulness of plastic versus paper, I have to say that the Hawaiian custom came out the clear winner. Paper bags are better — they break down easier, they are easy to recycle, they don’t pollute the oceans, and (with modern recycling) new material is not necessarily required for their construction. Plastic

doesn’t break down, it’s difficult to recycle, it effectively kills everything oceanic it touches, and has a bigger carbon footprint for recycling.

The whole train of thought got me thinking back to the days when I was part of LPIRG (Lethbridge Public Interest Research Group) here on campus (located in Galileo’s Lounge between Red Fort and Rockerman’s in the SU building, for anyone who doesn’t know) and the talk about banning plastic bags in Lethbridge.

This, given my recent tropical experiences, seems like a phenomenal idea! Why not get rid of plastic bags in town and go back to using paper?

This is genius! It would reduce waste, reduce the amount of non-compostable material in our landfill, and it’s far more environmentally friendly to produce (what with recycling and all).

So why hasn’t this happened yet?

It’s a pretty simple reason – lack of interest to change. We have become so used to having plastic bags, and reusing them has become common practice (though if your house is anything like mine, they stack up faster than you can get rid of them).

There is no motivation for stores to

Why not get rid of plastic bags in town and go back to using paper?

This is genius! change to paper bags, or even to go totally bag free (relies on customers to bring tote bags of their own). The driving force for change would need to come from the people.

As one person who regularly forgets to bring a reusable tote bag to the grocers, I find myself preferring the option of a paper bag to the plastic ones I currently have to take when I am being absent-minded. At least with paper I know it will break down quicker and (most types) are even compostable. Plastic just makes me feel like a horrible person for forgetting the damn totes in the first place.

Other communities have gone totally plastic bag free, or the municipalities have installed a tax on plastic bags. This also seems like a great motivator for people to remember to bring their own totes. I would love it, personally, if paper made a comeback. I’d also have Halloween mask issues solved for the next 10 years.

Kill the refs!

(I mean the nacho platter): a rant on the excess of the Super Bowl Travis Robinson Lifestyle Editorial

Oh Super Bowl Sunday. How festive of you to come to the land of hope and dreams and bring with you enough food to submerge the Superdo me (does everything have to be prefixed with “super” in pro football?).

The day that has come to be a national holiday for most Americans should also come with steam shovels and conveyer belts to ladle in all that food.

Football fans and family men alike celebrate the Big Game by gorging themselves on the fat-laden foods that take residence mostly in bars for the rest of the year. The food cannot go in fast enough; as super fans keep their eyes glued to the big screen, should a player make a big play or Beyoncé show a little breast, ala Janet Jackson, they still maintain a strict hands-on policy to the platter in front of them.

The chicken wing hangs suspended in mid-air as the football fan watches

Peyton Manning throw an 80-yard scorcher; the nacho freezes for a momentary lapse as the defensive back intercepts the errand pass to win the game. These momentary lapses in the feast are succinct, as the food can only be held for so long before it is forked into the mouth.

A sport should be devised on what household or bar can consume the most salsa during the three hours of show time. Like any viewing experience, the Super Bowl must come with food and refreshments; football fans just take it to a whole other level come the first Sunday in February. The most frightening part is that families also participate and teach their children this speed eating practice, so much so that people otherwise ignorant of football over the fall and winter months jump into that bean dip and camp themselves in front of their

television. Little children are raised to understand that the Super Bowl is one giant pig-out, whereby you drink as much beer and eat as many jalapeno poppers as you can before either celebrating or crying as your team kicks the winning field goal or shanks the kick wide right. This tradition will be passed down the lineage.

The next day, you are either ecstatic or supremely depressed, and always nursing either a hangover or severe heartburn, or both. No Pepto-Bismol can stop that inevitable acid from burning a hole in your trachea as you sleep away the 20 beers you shot-gunned in your background at halftime. Extreme consumerism is at full force come Super Bowl Sunday, with the wanton excesses of mass culture being exhibited in nearly every household and bar. Forget the holidays; the Super Bowl is when the

real eating commences. Turkey and stuffing cannot compete with a million pounds of chicken wings and two tubs of Ben and Jerry’s (at one house). The number crunching on Super Bowl Sunday consumer statistics is arduous enough; I’d rather choke on a bone than come up with how many pork riblets the average Texan will eat on the given Sunday. Canadians may watch the Super Bowl, but Americans live (and eat) it. I mean, even Wall Street employees demand that the Monday after the Bowl be converted into a national holiday (the reason being to discuss the game, of course, and not work off that stomach ache).

America is built around consumerism, and the pyrotechnics of the Super Bowl, along all its major food groups, is enough to satisfy any patriotic appetite. Enjoy it, America; you have earned it.

the

meliorist

February 7, 2013 • 21

With love… beating back the winter blues Kelti Boissonneault Editor-in-Chief

It isn’t surprising to note that the months with the highest birth rates in North America are July through September. Count backwards to the point of conception and you’ll often find that many people’s parents were doing the dirty and making babies in and about the winter months. And why not? Nights are colder, longer, and with a severe lack of vitamin D in most northern locations, people are looking for a natural pick-me-up. Sex it is!

Many people in northern climates tend to experience Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), which is characterized by such symptoms as depression, mood swings, fatigue, tendency to overeat or oversleep (or both), difficul-

ty waking up, and an increased craving for carbohydrates. While not exclusive to winter months, SAD typically occurs in individuals at a given time of year, on an annual basis, and then clears up after a little while. Before being officially categorized as a disorder in the 1980s, people recognized SAD as “the blues” — a temporary bout of depression that affected people on a fairly regular basis.

To combat the blues, try reinvigorating your sex life. The act of sex releases endorphins and stimulates hormones that can help combat the symptoms of depression. While it’s hard to get motivated for sex when you’re feeling low, a vitamin D supple-

ment can help stave off some of those depressive symptoms (sometimes, not always; talk to your doc before taking anything).

Given the numbers and the birth statistics, it’s reasonable to assume that winter is prime time for doing the horizontal tango. Nights get dark early, and don’t lighten until late, giving you ample time for multiple go-rounds, and sex provides an excellent form of exercise when it’s hard to get motivated to hit the gym.

If, like many young people, you aren’t interested in a familial addition in the summer months, remember to use adequate forms of pregnancy control available from your doctor. Always use

a condom whether you’re on pregnancy control or not to protect yourself and your partner from STIs, and as a back-up in case other methods of anti-baby-makers are neglected or fail. Always be responsible.

If you’re finding that you or your partner are not in the mood (for any reason), that’s okay! Wait until whoever is in the funk to get out of it and be honest — if you’re not into the lovemaking, simply don’t do it. If your partner is being a little persistent, encourage them to relieve their needs with a towel, but you’re not up for it that night. This is fine — never do anything you are not 100 per cent up for.

Hang high, soft stars Travis Robinson Sports Editor

I had the opportunity to sit down with three senior members of the Pronghorns women’s basketball team last week.

Coming from diverse backgrounds in both sport and life, the trio were glad to share details of their five-year basketball runs and come up with some creative answers.

Herewith, a few words with forwards Erin Skippon and Stephanie Inman and guard Kara Henry.

Travis Robinson: Erin, you went to Queen’s University before coming to the U of L. How has the difference been between the two schools in regards to playing experience?

Erin Skippon: The biggest change was just that I came into a team where I literally didn’t know a soul on the

team. Queen’s was very much like I was a rookie and I worked my way up, and sort of turned into a vet and a leader, whereas here I was put on the team. I walked in with these two [Inman and Henry] and was sort of automatically put in a leadership role.

Getting to know the girls seemed a lot faster. It felt like I was a rookie, but I was a leader. It was a weird transition.

a lot of expectations and I felt like that was a lot better attitude to go into it, whereas at Mount Royal I had higher expectations because I was recruited out of high school. The biggest difference for me was the difference in competition level. When I went to Mount Royal, it was still college, and so adjusting from ACAC to CIS was a big adjustment for me personally.

TR: Stephanie, you spent time at Mount Royal before coming to the U of L. How was your transition?

Stephanie Inman: I was recruited to go to Mount Royal, so I had a different attitude going into Mount Royal. You have a very different attitude no matter where you go, whether you’re recruited or you try out. I actually tried out for the U of L, and so I didn’t have

TR: Kara, you came right out of high school in Calgary to play for the U of L. How was that transition for you, in having no prior post-collegiate basketball experience?

Kara Henry: I initially was going to go to Mount Royal… what ended up happening was I wanted to come to the U of L to do the education program eventually anyway, so I came

down and I had been talking with [former head coach] Donna Branch, but I hadn’t been really talking seriously because I wanted to play college first because I wasn’t really that good.

I tried out and got on the team, and it worked out really well; I fit in really well with the team, and I ended up being sixth man off the bench in my first year and played really well in my first semester, and then I kind of burned out. The season is so long, so I went all out and then after Christmas my physicality went down the toilet. In my second year, I blew out my knee, and so that really sucked, and coming back was interesting. Everything kind of fell into place for me coming to Lethbridge, and that was really sweet.

The girls are really awesome and very welcoming.

the

meliorist

February 7, 2013 • 23

Left to right: Kara Henry, Stephanie Inman, Erin Skippon

TR: As fifth-year players, you guys have practiced a lot. How do you maintain on-court spontaneity when you’re practicing so much?

ES: I think it’s just previous experience. I think the fifth-years are able to grasp more of the spontaneity more than first year, because we’ve been around the game for so long and we’ve been playing longer than they have. We’ve just been on more teams and different teams with different offences and different sets and different theories and coaching. When you’re around more teams, and play on more teams for more coaches, you pick up certain things from each team and each coach. You bring those things to your individual game whenever you step on the court.

KH: That’s the nature of the game, and that’s why I love basketball. It is never the same thing twice. Every practice is different, every game is different. One move that might work one time won’t work another time. You see your teammate pull out this really sick reverse pivot pull up, and you want to try that… It’s read and react, and it’s always changing. As a fifth-year player, you realize that. In high school, you can do the same move 10 – 20 times in a row because you’re more athletic. In university basketball, everyone is just as athletic as you, and everyone is just as skilled as you, if not more. I like that challenge.

ES: In terms of approaching every practice, age and experience gives you confidence, and that confidence shows your other teammates that they can look up to that confidence. If

things aren’t going well in a practice, it’s almost a fifth-year’s responsibility to get the team in and regroup and refocus and turn a low-energy practice around. That’s something you get better at as a fifth-year or fourth-year or third-year versus the younger player.

TR: As fifth-year players, what do you wish you would have known in your first, second, maybe even third year that you know now?

KH: I wish I would have trusted myself to know that I practiced, so my body knew what I was supposed to do, and that I could just go out and do it. I spent way too much time trying to figure out why I couldn’t do something, or why something wasn’t working or too much time thinking about it. In my fourth year, I figured it out during the last half of my season, because in my third year I was too slow from knee surgery. That [injury] led to my overthinking of stuff, and to be able to just say trust your body and go with what you have practiced and what you know and what you thought about already; I wish I would have known that.

ES: Just relax. Relax, relax, relax, and have fun and enjoy it, because five years flies by.

SI: I think the biggest thing for me was confidence. Your confidence just shifts dramastically… [pauses] ES: [Laughing] Dramastically?

Dramatically?

SI: Dramatically. Dramastically? Is that a word?

ES: [Laughs] Could you please leave that in?

TR: You made up a portmanteau there.

SI: Dramatically and drastically.

Dramastically.

ES: That was awesome.

SI: Anyway, it changes a lot. From your first couple of years, I didn’t have a lot of confidence in myself, and I know that that can change too with the coach that you have, but I find in my fifth year, with Erin [McAleenan] as a coach, she has confidence in each and every one of us. That gives me more confidence, and I have confidence because I’m a fifth-year too.

KH: I can tell you the difference between Steph before and Steph now is night and day. Before, she was so hesitant… A half second hesitation allows the defence to see what you’re going to do and defend it. Now, she has the confidence to know the shots going in. It just goes and it’s sweet.

SI: Thanks Kara.

TR: Is this fifth season the finest season in that there is cohesion in the team as a unit?

SI: Definitely. This has been my favourite year playing by far. I love the girls, I love the coaching staff; they’re awesome. I just love everything about the team this year. It’s just a lot of fun.

ES: I agree 100 per cent. Coming from a school where I was there for four years, the biggest difference was that I grew with that team versus a new program here. I’ve never felt so supported by coaches in my whole life until I came here. And same with teammates. I think that is pretty special, being somewhere for four

years. It wasn’t a negative experience [at Queen’s] because I loved Queen’s, but I came here and it fit and I feel that I have 14 other people that got my back.

KH: And that makes a huge difference in the way you perform too. If you throw a really off-the-wall pass or something, your teammates are going to be like “it’s okay, next one.” It makes a huge difference from throwing a pass and getting a look from your teammates… here, it’s more like a sisterly thing.

TR: Are there any regrets in playing basketball for five years?

KH: I wish I could do it forever. I wish my body would let me do it forever.

SI: Every year, I have individual regrets, like I should’ve done more, I should’ve not held back, I should’ve been more confident. But no way – I don’t regret playing for five years at all. I wish that every athlete could play for five years, if their body would let them. It’s an amazing experience, and you get to meet some really great people along the way.

KH: You never get this atmosphere.

Basketball is just so fun.

ES: Team sports are wicked.

TR: Are there any ambitions for basketball in the future?

ES: Women’s league! Light up the middle-aged women for a while maybe. I’d love to coach. I think a lot of people coach when they shouldn’t, but I’d like to learn to coach.

SI: Coaching for sure.

** Submit your TLFs at www.themeliorist.ca. All TLFs must be submitted via a valid uleth e-mail account. Keep in mind that libelous or offensive TLFs may be edited or omitted. The TLFs do not reflect the view or opinions of The Meliorist Publishing Society.

Dear people that make the internet, MAKE THE INTERNET! It is patchy at best and even the cord doesn’t work anymore. ~ UHall resident P.s. it used to work, so we know it can.

To the 2 guys in a blue car in parking lot G: Thank you for spotting me out of my parking stall when I was trapped in. Chivalry is not dead Sincerely, girl in the black truck Her name is weaver but she can’t weave a basket To the blonde girl from bingo last week. You’re cute. Coffee sometime?

us. You need a real man with the willingness to share his talent.

-GBD Dear UofL Students, Looking for a roommate in a three bedroom house located on 4th Ave S. Cheap rent and utilities.

Please contact m.nelson@uleth.ca if interested.

Male or Female P.S. that ad for the roommate at 4th Ave S. is ergent and we would like someone soon! Don’t hesitate if you’re looking for a place and want two friendly roommates.

Last Airbender all the way!!

What’s that? It’s snowing? Quick U of L, turn up the A/C before everyone gets too warm!

Just because you have crutches and are on a sports team doesn’t mean you can be as loud as you want to be in the library. Pipe the fuck down.

Hey envi sci 2000! If you sit near the back and “whisper” through the whole class – heads up, the front couple rows can hear you and we don’t care about your problems.

Thanks!

Dear Lesbihonest/Confused girl, As a U of L boy, I would be thrilled to be the one to change your opinion on

Hey Blondie in Psyc 2800 sitting near the front left! You’re smokin!

Someone call 911! Want to mingle sometime?

Preoccupied in class Hey girl in art history 1000 sitting next to the ginger. Are you single? Cause hey i just saw you and this is creepy, but i wanna meet you so meet me maybe? trying not to be creepy The crosswords are back….. And any thoughts of revolt have now been forgotten Dear Middle-Aged Balding dude,

Why do you wait until you’re on the bulkhead to do up your speedo?

We’re really not interested in seeing that…please stahp..

The next person to not sneeze like a normal person will have a textbook thrown at their face. Yes that’s you girl in the study center I heard about these hunger strikes.

And in order to keep the balance of food consumption , I took it upon myself to eat several time more than the average man Anyone else checking out that #vindieselsunday funny stuff…..funny stuff The lassie who went out of her way to open doors sure is cute -Dear In Love With You, It has been a few months they are probably about to give up on you – About to Give Up NEWSFLASH: nobody cares. Please stop broadcasting your problems to your friends and, as a consequence, to all the others in the quiet section of the library.

Everyone should take Professor Vasey’s Issues in Sexuality and Comparative Sexuality classes. They will forever be my favorite classes offered at the UofL.

I graduate this year and I have never had one of my TLFs featured. #sadcat A few drunk guys and a sword can only end one way…with one of the guys ending up at the health center with a stab wound This paper is CRAP! Please try and make it RELEVANT to the school and community. Not all of us want to read about sex toys in our newspaper.

Keep it appropriate.

To the band geek at CJ’s Tuesday night… maybe your gf broke up with you because of your disgusting belching. Your mamma taught you manners, USE THEM! Sincerely, grossed out girl.

Dear confused lesbehonest girl. Do you have the time?… The time to take my number?

Kelsey W, do you still read these things? Lets hang out soon!

Hot bonde girl(Red dress, amusing expressions)at Pulse on the 25th. I would love the opportunity to talk to you, but you always seem preoccupied with other Gents.Still around?

TLF: “Three Lines Free”… Or “The Lesbian Forum”?

the

meliorist

February 7, 2013 • 25

To the couple in psych 2030. Kept your hands off each other, it’s way too early for me to throw up thanks.

To the huge guy (w/earrings) who comes to the gym late. I hear you’re a prof… So it’s true then: guys who are both gorgeous and intellectual really DO exist!

Single?

To the person who complimented me in the last TLFs – Thanks! Glad I come across as such Care to share your identity? -Kris, neurosci blond Kindle lost outside uhd30 on grey bench. 10$ reward. Contact aaronschamber@gmail.com Everybody who can should vote for me at this website so that I can be the 15th Canadian astronaut(wikipedia) with AXE Apollo. https://www2.axeapollo.com/en_CA/ 14707/josh-sorell To the wonderful people who have turned in my cellphone wallet twice now without stealing it. You guys are so freaking awesome!

Dear black-haired lifeguard girl, You were the dessert to my lunch at noon on Monday. Curvilious.

Sincerely, Viewing Gallery Admires.

KAPPA PI CHI’S 2ND ANNUAL SPEED DATING! FEB 7TH @7PM. ULSU BALLROOM. TICKETS NOW AVAILABLE IN UHall Atrium Feb 1, PE Feb 4/5, SU Feb 6/7. Only $10! YAY! Hey D1, When any of you can outlift me I will take your word for something…

245lb bench for reps 720lb leg press for reps 405lb deadlift come at me -D2 guy The bisexuals are located in the PRIDE Centre. SU058. Look for rainbows.

Are there any Nerdfighters on this campus? DFTBA! FMA is better, no contest! In Avatar you only get 4 elements, in FMA your only restrictions is the law of equivalent exchange! And the characters have more development and emotion!

giggle away gentlemen! @Puppy Room I totally agree except the uni would never go for it. Lucky for me I have my own puppy at home off campus. @FMA vs ATLA I agree it’s hard to beat the flying bison. Legend of Korra was good but could have been better.

Still I’m excited for Season 2.

Girl last Thursday eyeing me up by fast track. Why don’t you just come sit by me Nickelback Joke of The Week: What’s the difference between Nickelback and a mosquito?

A mosquito will stop sucking after a while.

If you can pack your own lunch, why cant you pack your own fork? Stop using the plastic cutlery by the SU microwaves. Reduce unnecessary waste people!!!!

“Daddy’s oil money” pays my tuition, but it was earned by the hardest working man I know. Not all oilpatch workers are evil. Don’t typecast, it’s insulting.

Interested in learning New Media-related skills but can’t take the classes? Get your learn on at http://www.techtyro.com – a site run

by Nmed Majors here at the University of Lethbridge!

Just so ya’ll are aware, the 24h study centre is NOT a quiet area, it is for groups to study and use as well. So

Two Trekkie/Trekker references in one day! Star Trek has taken over… But no one wants to be a Trekker…

Did you know the University of Lethbridge has a facebook memes page? Come on guys, lets show some support and put up memes! (It’s creatively titled University of Lethbridge Memes) I would love to hear some music players around the university.

Entertain me with your acoustic brilliance while I sit in cj’s, bored with homework on my breaks.

Sincerely, Listener I wondered why the frisbee was getting larger… Then it hit me.

What happens when you get scared half to death twice..?

Morgan, I think we really hit it off the other day on the stairs and I’d like to take you out for coffee or something sometime? -Ryan (that guy who asked if you were okay) Re: where are all the Bisexuals at?

Everywhere. Everyone is on the spectrum of sexuality because humans are sexual. Just depends on individual boundaries; desires; and experiences.

No I will not shave my beard so you can sell me a $465 photo of myself dressed in a gown with a goofy cap on.

Meliorist Podcasts available online at: themeliorist.ca/podcast

Have a pressing topic or question?

Send it in to the Meliorist podcast! p.editor@themeliorist.ca

Year in Review, and Thanks to All of You!

CHANGE:

PRETTY SOON IT’S ALL YOU’LL HAVE

Shuna Talbot VP Internal The ULSU 2013 election nominations constitutional referendum passing we The positions that are available are as follows: STUDENT REP POSITIONS: - Arts and Science Representatives (six students) - Management Representative - Fine Arts Representative - Education Representative - Health Science Representative - Calgary Campus Representative - Edmonton Campus Representative - FNMI Representative - International Representative - Residence Representative - Board of Governors Representative (non-voting) A student rep on the General Assembly is required to contribute 10 hours per month to the ULSU. They will be required to attend all monthly General Assembly meetings and sit on one internal committee and one external committee. There is an opportunity during the September meeting for each General Assembly rep to run for a commissioner position as well. This will give the opportunity for those individuals to the executive in initiatives they have.

If you would like any information regarding the rep positions available please contact Armin Escher at su.president@uleth.ca.

EXECUTIVE COUNCIL: An executive council member is required to work 40 hours per week. They need to be in a minimum of one course and can take up to a maximum of two.

The executive council positions are as follows: The President is one of the delegates for both of our lobby organizations (CASA and CAUS). They sit on the board of governors, senate, and many other important university committees.

The President is the ceremonial head of the ULSU and ensures that the Students’ Union is well staffed and runs smoothly.

If you would like more information regarding the President position, please contact Armin Escher at su.president@

uleth.ca.

The VP Academic is the academic liaison for all active members of the Students’ Union (that’s all the undergraduate students on campus) and tasked with maintaining an awareness of current issues and developments of academic nature. This position also leads all efforts on academic advocacy. If you would like more information regarding this position, please contact Julia Adolf at su.academic@uleth.ca.

The VP External is our newest position and is tasked with maintaining an awareness of current issues and developments related to all levels of government. They are the main delegate on both of our lobby organizations (CASA and CAUS) and are the primary liaison for the University of Lethbridge northern campuses. They are also responsible for promoting the Students’ Union to the external community through projects and events. If you would like more information regarding this position, please contact Armin Escher at su.president@ uleth.ca.

The VP Operations and Finance is the nances. They are tasked with ensuring that the Students’ Union is well staffed VP OpFi is also responsible for the coordination of any Students’ Union constitutional, bylaw, or policy revisions.

If you would like more information regarding this position, please contact The VP Student Affairs is responsible for ensuring diverse and engaging experience for all members of the Students’ Union through events, clubs, and other activities. They will be the liaison between clubs and the General Assembly and facilitate communication between the General Assembly and the active members of the Students’ Union. If you would like more information regarding this position, please contact Shuna Talbot at su.internal@uleth. ca.

It is very important that we have engaging, passionate and responsible individuals in all of the above positions and we encourage all students interthese positions. There will be an optional information session in Galileo’s on Thursday, Feb. 7 at 12:15 p.m.

Year in Review, and Thanks to All of You!

BRINGING SEXY BACK Brady Schnell VP Operations and Finance From Feb. 12 until Feb. 14, the ULSU will be holding three great events for this year’s “Sexy Week.” Designed to be an entertaining mix of fun events and informative conversations about sex, Sexy Week has something to offer everyone.

Kicking it off on Tuesday, Feb. 12 you can sing your heart out in the Zoo at Sexy-oke, which starts at 8 p.m.

There will be prizes for best love song, best break-up song, best duet, and of course, the sexiest performance!

On Wednesday, Feb. 13 you can catch the Health Centre, the Women’s Centre, the Pride Centre, CKXU radio, the Students’ Union and more in the U-Hall Atrium from 10 a.m. until 2 p.m.

Passersby will get an entertaining look at sexual awareness and will learn about a number of current sex topics, including safe kink!

Valentine’s Day is the perfect day to host the main event : ULSU presents Sexy Talk with Dr. Justine Shuey. The experience will begin at 3 p.m. with free burgers in SU300, immediately followed

by Sexy Talk from 4 p.m. until 6 p.m.

Dr. Shuey is a sex-pert that presents all over North America bringing taboo sex topics to the forefront of conversations through her informative and interactive performances. Attendees of the event will also have the opportunity to anonymously text questions to Dr. Shuey that she will answer without censorship. Oh, and did I mention free food?!

Sexy week’s events are bound to be a blast, so don’t miss out!

Feb 8 - Feb10 feb 4 - feb 14

Apply to the 2013-2014 LPIRG Board! visit www.lpirg.org for more info

PAR symposium Friday @ 6pm - Sunday @ 12am

www.lpirg.org

#NFL #yql #abpoli #Palestine #idlenomore #israel #Football

#RIPENNY

#cdnpoli

#opvalentine #Superbowlads

#lpc

Buy a shirt, support independent media!

$15 and it’s yours!

Stop by the Meliorist office (su-166) Monday afternoon.

@The_Meliorist

the

meliorist

February 7, 2013 • 30

Jobs, jobs, jobs!

Let us introduce you to CES (Career & Employment Services). CES is a student service office dedicated to assisting you with your career and job search needs. We’re within the Career Co-op Services office in AH154, along with Applied Studies and the Management and Arts & Science Cooperative Education programs. CCS office hours are 9 a.m. – 12 p.m. and 1 p.m. – 4 p.m., Monday to Friday.

Go to our website for more detailed information on our services: www.uleth.ca/ross/ces.

Upcoming information sessions: CMA & CGA information session ~ CPA designation discussion Feb. 7, 4 p.m. – 5 p.m.

AH100 – Andy’s Place RSVP online at www.uleth.ca/ross/ces/events DECO Information Booth Feb. 11, 9:30 a.m. – 4 p.m.

Sport & Wellness Building Deloitte CA recruitment & interview process workshops ~ Cgy & Leth Campuses See all details and register at www.uleth.ca/ross/ces Upcoming Conference: Alberta Student Energy Networking Conference March 1, 2013 Telus Convention Centre, Calgary Details on our website at www.uleth.ca/ross/ces Workshops to Feb. 28 (to see full schedule and sign up go online to www.uleth.ca/ross/ces/workshops) CES resume/cover letter workshops: * Monday, Feb. 11, 10 a.m. – 12:30 p.m. * Thursday, Feb. 14, 10:50 a.m. – 1:20 p.m. * Tuesday, Feb. 26, 3 p.m. – 5:30 p.m.

CES interview workshops: * Friday, Feb. 8, 12 p.m. – 3:30 p.m. * Tuesday, Feb. 12, 10:50 a.m. – 1:20 p.m.

Career Exploration 101 workshops: * Wednesday, Feb. 13, 1 p.m. – 3 p.m. * Thursday, Feb. 28, 9:30 a.m. – 11:30 a.m.

CES career portfolios for interviews workshops: * Monday, Feb. 25, 10:00 a.m. – 11:30 a.m.

CES job search & networking workshops: * Thursday, Feb. 7, 3 p.m. – 5 p.m. * Friday, Feb. 15, 12 p.m. – 2 p.m. * Wednesday, Feb. 27, 1 p.m. – 3 p.m.

Visit our website www.uleth.ca/ross/ces to find the CES online job board!

Full time • Administrative Support, Edm ~ Covenant Health (Feb. 22) • Store Manager, Leth ~ DAVIDs TEA (Feb. 11) • Associate Professional Development Program, Cgy ~ ISN (Feb. 14) • Sun Life Financial Advisor ~ Sun Life Financial (Feb. 10) • Underwriting Associate – Global Graduate Program, Cgy ~ Catlin Canada (Feb. 28) • Outside Sales Rep, Edm ~ Consolidated Gypsum (Feb. 14) • Special Projects Manager, High Prairie ~ The MD of Big Lakes (Mar. 1) • Financial Services Representative, Leth ~ TD Canada Trust (Feb. 15) • Vegetation Coordinator, Edm ~ Carillion Canada (Feb. 15) • Operations Clerk ~ Agropur Cooperative (Feb. 15) • IT Manager, Blue River ~ Mike Wiegele Helicopter Skiing (Mar. 1) • Personal Trainer, Leth ~ Gold’s Gym (Feb. 20) • Territory Sales Support, Edm ~ Ritchie Bros. Auctioneers (Feb. 21) • Asset Integrity Engineer, Cgy ~ CNRL (Feb. 21) • Business Underwriting Specialist, Cgy/Edm ~ State Farm Insurance (Feb. 23) • Business Intelligence Adminstrator, Leth ~ U of L (Feb. 15) • Business Development, Cgy ~ Xerox (Feb. 27) • Software Developer, Salmon Arm ~ USNR (Mar. 1) • Project Coordinator ~ Netricom (Feb. 28) • Customer Sales Coordinator, Leth ~ Kawneer (Feb. 15) • Associate Sales Representative ~ Cargill (Mar. 15) • Associate Grain Marketing Advisor ~ Cargill (Mar. 15) • Associate Production Supervisor ~ Cargill (Mar. 15) • Municipal/Urban Design Planner, Berwyn ~ Mackenzie Municipal Services Agency (Mar. 2) • Staff Accountant, Cgy ~ Matson, Driscoll & Damico (Feb. 15) • Coordinator, Membership Events & Services, Cgy ~ Hockey Canada (Feb. 22) • Management Trainee ~ Guillevin International (Apr. 30) Temporary • LakeWatch Technician, Edm ~ ALMS (Feb. 22) • Deloitte National Leadership Conference, Cgy ~ Deloitte (Mar. 22) • Supply Chain Production Coordinator, SK ~ Syngenta (Feb. 14) • Aboriginal Engagement Facilitator, Cgy ~ TERA Environmental (Feb. 16) • Lab Technician, Taber ~ Lantic Inc. (Feb. 20)

• • •

Senior Advisor, Edm ~ EPCOR Utilities (Feb. 15) Environmental Intern, Edm ~ DDB (Feb. 11) Human Resources Intern, Cgy ~ Lafarge (Feb. 28)

Summer postings • Dining Hall Steward, Beaver Mines ~ Bert Sheppard Scout Reserve (Mar. 31) • Park Workers/Park Patrollers, Vancouver ~ MetroVancouver (Feb. 28) • Field Summer Student ~ Harvest Operations Corp. (Feb. 17) • Property Assessment Data Collector, Taber ~ Municipal District of Taber (Mar. 15) • Agricultural Research Assistant, Leth ~ Farming Smarter (Feb. 10) • Youth Worker ~ Alberta’s Future Leaders (Feb. 10) • Seasonal Interpreter, Crowsnest Pass ~ Belleview Underground Mine (Feb. 8) • Teacher, Counsellor, Instructor, Cgy/Van ~ Wynchemna (Feb. 15) • Chess Ambassador/Chess Educator, Med Hat ~ Med Hat Chess Society (Mar. 8) • Geological Information Systems (GIS), Cgy ~ Cenovus (Feb. 10) • Department Lead; Guest Services Rep; Security Personnel; Revenue Auditor; General Maintenance; Cgy ~ Calaway Park (Feb. 14) • Summer Camp Counsellor, Bragg Creek ~ Easter Seals Camp Horizon (Mar. 31) • Warehouse Assistant; Groundside Services Assistant; Planning & Engineering Admin; Springbank Maintenance, Cgy ~ Calgary Airport Authority (Feb. 15) • Summer Camp Employment, Seba Beach ~ Camp Health, Hope & Happiness (Feb. 24) • Wetland Naturalist, Creston ~ Creston Valley Wildlife Management Area (Mar. 1) • Vegetation Management Field Assistant; Historical Resources Program Leader; Natural Resources Program Leader; Public Program Assistant, Cochrane ~ Glenbow Ranch Park Foundation (Mar. 4) • Conservation Technician, Winnipeg ~ Ducks Unlimited Canada (Feb. 15) • Building Services Assistant, Cgy ~ Calgary Airport Authority (Feb. 15) • Summer Technician and/or Field Technician, Oyen ~ Chinook Applied Research Association (Feb. 8) • Field Surveillance and Operations Summer Student; Geology, Envi Sci & Economics Summer Student ~ ERCB (Feb. 8) • Site Technicians, Cgy/Leth/Edm ~ DECO Windshield Repair (Mar. 15) • Agronomy Trial Intern, AB ~ DuPont Pioneer (Feb. 20) • Communications Summer Student, Cgy ~ Energy Resources Conserva-

• • • • • • • • •

• • • • • • • •

tion Board (Feb. 8) Sprayer &/or Mower Operator ~ Total Weed Control (Feb. 23) Habitat Stewardship Summer Assistant, Regina ~ Nature Saskatchewan (Feb. 24) Operations & Facilities Assistant, Cgy ~ The Calgary Airport Authority (Feb. 15) Corporate Services, Cgy ~ Energy Resources Conservation Board (Feb. 15) Heritage Interpreter/Tour Guide, East Coulee ~ Atlas Coal Mine National Historic Site (Feb. 22) FSWEP Various Positions, Waterton Park ~ Parks Canada Agency (Feb. 15) European Corn Bore Technician, Taber ~ Lucerne Foods (Feb. 27) Parks Maintenance Operators, Didsbury ~ Town of Didsbury (Mar. 25) Travel Counsellor; Cashier; Interpretive Guide; Shuttle Bus Driver; Gift Shop Clerk ~ Head Smashed in Buffalo Jump (Mar. 28) Ground Transportation Assistant, Cgy ~ Calgary Airport (Feb. 15) U.S. Commercial Service Intern, Cgy ~ U.S. Department of Commerce (Mar. 1) Summer Term Agriculture Research Assistant, Taber ~ Ag-Quest (Mar. 1) Production Intern ~ Cargill (Mar. 15) NCC Summer Conservation Interns ~ Nature Conservancy of Canada (Feb. 15) Research Technicians, Fort Saskatchewan ~ ICMS (Mar. 2) Terrestrial & Aquatic Biological Technical Assistants ~ Water Security Agency (Feb. 15) Market Analyst, Cgy ~ Alberta Utilities Commission (Feb. 15)

Part time • World Vision Charity Ambassadors, Edm ~ Donorworx (Feb. 18) • Lethbridge Herald Carrier, Leth ~ Lethbridge Herald (Feb. 24) • Disability Services Worker, Leth ~ Quest Support Services (Feb. 28) International • Teach English in South Korea ~ Eagle Consulting (Feb. 15) • Youth Ambassador, Ghana ~ Youth Challenge International (Feb. 8) • English Teacher ~ Ameson Education & Cultural Exchange Foundation (Apr. 10) • Teach, Travel & Earn Money! ~ Aclipse (Feb. 20) • Primary & Secondary Teachers ~ Synarbor Education (Feb. 21) • Overseas Teaching, China ~ Make A Future (Feb. 28) For details of the postings and information on the application processes, go to www.uleth.ca/ross/ces/job-board.

Hard

Easy

Try to find this pronghorn in this week’s issue of the Meliorist. E-mail the page number and a brief description of where you found it to einc@themeliorist.ca. You will be entered to win our monthly pronghorn draw. You can enter as many times in the month as we publish.

Jaycee Doolittle Winner of the January Pronghorn Challenge!

Great job finding the Pronghorn hidden within the pages of the Meliorist. Please come to the Meliorist office at SU 166 Tuesday between 11 a.m. and 1 p.m. or e-mail einc@themeliorist.ca to arrange a time to claim your prize!

If you would like to win the Pronghorn Challenge, e-mail the location of the Pronghorn every week to einc@themeliorist.ca to be entered in our monthly draw! The Pronghorn can be found anywhere in the pages of the paper.

Please support your campus newspaper

and buy a sweet t-shirt today!

only

$15