Metro Spirit 01.01.2004

METRO SPIRIT Jan. 1-7 Vol. 15 No. 22

Augusta’s Independent Voice

ALSO INSIDE News of the Weird: 2003 Classics P. 16 Music Year in Review P. 19

PETERSBURG BOAT:

Drifting Through History P.11

2 M E T R O S P I R I T J A N 1 2 0 0 4

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Contents Metro Spirit

First Month Free No Strings Attached New Customers Only

ON THE COVER

J A N

Drifting Through History

1

By Brian Neill ................................................. 11

2 0 0 4

Cover Design: Natalie Holle Cover Photo by Rebecca Rogers

FEATURES

News of the Weird 2003 Classics By Chuck Shepherd .......................................................... 16

Opinion

Experience the difference of an

Whine Line .............................................................. 4 Words ..................................................................... 4 This Modern World ..................................................4 Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down ......................................6 Insider .....................................................................7

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Commission Keeps Kolb ..........................................8 Coliseum Authority Ready To Refinance Bonds.......10

Bite

Finding Nirvana at Shangri-La ...............................18

Events

8 Days a Week .....................................................20

2003 Music Year in Review....................................19 Good News and Bad on Local Music Horizon .........24

Music

Winter Jam Brings Music With a Mission.........................................30

Cinema

Movie Listings ......................................................25 Movie Clock ..........................................................26 Movie Round Up 2003 ...........................................27

Music

Leibovitz’s “American Music” Puts a Face on Pop Music ....................................................................28 Winter Jam Brings Music With a Mission ................30 Music by Turner ......................................................31 Music Minis ............................................................31 In The Spirit ............................................................32 Night Life ...............................................................33

Stuff News of the Weird ................................................35 Amy Alkon: The Advice Goddess ...........................35 Brezsny's Free Will Astrology ................................36 New York Times Crossword Puzzle .......................36 Date Maker ...........................................................37 Classifieds ............................................................39

M E T R O S P I R I T

J A N U A R Y 1 - 7 • F R E E W E E K LY • M E T R O S P I R I T. C O M

Arts

3

EDITOR & PUBLISHER David Vantrease ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Rhonda Jones STAFF WRITERS Stacey Eidson, Brian Neill ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Joe White ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE Kriste Lindler PRODUCTION MANAGER Joe Smith GR APHIC ARTISTS Stephanie Bell, Natalie Holle, Erin Lummen ACCOUNTING MANAGER/CLASSIFIEDS Sharon King ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT ASSISTANT Lisa Jordan SENIOR MUSIC CONTRIBUTOR Ed Turner CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Amy Alkon, Rob Brezsny, Amy Fennell Christian, Rachel Deahl, David Elliot t, Chuck Shepherd CARTOONISTS Tom Tomorrow

METRO SPIRIT is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks of the year. Editorial coverage includes ar ts, local issues, news, enter tainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publishers. Visit us at www.metrospirit.com. Copyright © Metro Spirit, Inc. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. Phone: (706) 738-1142 Fax: (706) 733-6663 E-mail: spirit@metrospirit.com Letters to the Editor: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, Ga. 30914-3809

4 M E T R O S P I R I T J A N 1 2 0 0 4

Whine Line H

appy holidays to your staff and readers!

I was just revisiting the opinion of the Insider (August 21st issue) of the Metro Spirit. I think it’s about time you revisited the latest that you can find about ‘ole Charlie Walker. I think signs are pointing to a downfall.

If you saw the December 18th issue, that is a great one for use by journalism students in studying how to properly copy edit or how not to professionally publish such a paper.

“Mark of the beast,” AKA “Chips,” could be implanted on all chip salespeople and all their movements tracked like they’re trying to do to us. It could be the latest reality show rage where we spy 24/7 on them in a game we could call “Track the Dip with the Chip,” unless the “dip” counterfeits the “chip” and “flips the chip to another dip.” The winner would be the one that’s not the “dip with the chip.”

Channel 12, what were you thinking? You pre-empt one of the best programs in network television news, “CBS Sunday Morning” with Charles Osgood, to re-broadcast that stupid X-mas parade? You couldn’t find any other time slot for that? Like one of those ubiquitous Sunday morning church yawns? You folks don’t deserve the responsibility of being a national television network affiliate with dumb moves like that!

I still find it downright stupid to demolish a perfectly good, as yet unpaid for, Civic Center! There’s got to be a more reasonable solution! If our current governing officials can’t find that solution, let’s replace them.

There are many suitable downtown locations needing. So “kill two birds with one stone”. Lose those slums. Build that new judicial center.

Thanks for having the Whine Line!

Marion Williams should hope and pray that

Mr. Kuhlke remains on the judicial center committee. Otherwise that courthouse just might catch a bad case of the ANIC. Poor Ol’ Rush! Now he was blackmailed by his maid and her hubby. Are we supposed to feel sorry for him? I guess that being a “millionaire junkie” puts him above the “average street hype”! No, Rush, that don’t cut squat!

You should get the same punishment ... millionaire or not!

You know the funny thing about Augusta is you can’t buy a porn magazine at X-Mart on Gordon Highway, but you can go five minutes up the road and see a gay bathhouse and go 10 minutes further and go to a strip bar. This city must be run by retards.

The article published in the Metro Spirit’s current issue of the Whine Line blew me away. It was like someone took the words right out of my mouth. This was the first time that I picked up the Metro and actually read the Whine Line section. Now I know what I’ve been missing. I agree, especially the part about Marion Williams. I think that he is a very incompetent, jealous man that needs to throw in the white towel. He’s finished, done, over with. Yes, I agree South Augusta does need more, more, more entertainment and better restaurants. These are just a couple of areas that have set this city back on progress.

When will the puppets downtown realize that its not the ‘50s and ‘60s anymore? We hit the new millennium three years ago. Hello!

Words “I don’t see any profit coming to anybody. I personally would not invest in it under no condition. God bless the people that do.”

— Augusta-Richmond County Coliseum Authority member Bill Maddox, following a Dec. 23 presentation by members of Augusta Entertainment, LLC on their plans to get citizens to invest in the company and convince the city of Augusta to build a $94 million civic arena at the vacant Regency Mall site.

about our side of the county or how they waste our tax money. Sure, turn the fire departments over to the county for tax collection. Let’s hope it isn’t like the Sheriff’s Department.

I’ve had more than enough of local radio.

Couldn’t stand to listen to another message about the little purple pill or how much the local exterminators could improve my life. I invested in satellite radio. Non-stop music. Great news and sports coverage. No Austin Rhodes. Well worth $10 per month. Eventually there will be no local radio, but they’re doing it to themselves.

My red sweater vest keeps my tummy warm and shows a certain flare. Chicks dig it.

Kudos to James Brown, Kennedy Center Award recipient.

How many more thousands of our tax dollars can Columbia County Sheriff Clay Whittle waste on logos and slogans to try and make us think he is doing a good job? “We wear this badge for you” is about as big of a joke as the fact that he is whining and ranting at the News Times editor for laughing at him about it. Thank goodness for Lee Anderson getting elected. Maybe he can help straighten out the commission and get Sheriff Whittle under control, since neither seems to care

Yes, I have the solution about the new proposed Civic Center. Mr. Morris and Mr. Lawrence, both of you have enough money to build it yourself and worry on it for Augusta entertainment. Do that, and then, if it turns to profit in a couple of years, the county can buy it from you at a profit. But as for me, I’m going to vote “no” on the SPLOST coming up in 2004.

I think those men protesting the X-Mart probably can’t satisfy a woman and are afraid their women will get something in the X-Mart that does satisfy them.

Now that Hinckley has been determined sane after his attempt to assassinate President Reagan, they should retry him and send him to prison. Does he not know why he has been in the hospital all these years? If not, tell him and send him to a prison somewhere.

A car company can move its factories to Mexico and claim it’s a free market. A toy company can outsource to a Chinese subcontractor and claim it’s a free market. A major bank can incorporate in Bermuda to avoid taxes and claim it’s a free market. We can buy HP printers made in Mexico. We can buy shirts made in Bangladesh. We can purchase almost anything we want from many different countries, but heaven help the elderly who dare to buy their prescription drugs from a Canadian (or Mexican) pharmacy. That’s called un-American. And you think the pharmaceutical companies don’t have a powerful lobby? Think again! continued on page 6

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Perhaps we’ve begun to sail out from beneath the cloud that tragic day cast over the country.

Whoever is responsible for the recent shift in the national psyche, keep it up.

Who knows what’s possible for the new year.

A story in The Atlanta JournalConstitution detailed the unsettling trend of parents naming their children after products.

Surveying Social Security number applications from 2000, researchers found 1,263 girls named Alexus and 553 girls named either Lexus, Lexxus, Lexis or Lexxis — all variations on the luxury

car, according to the article.

There was even a boy in Texas named ESPN. It’s sad that our nation’s sense of originality has come to this.

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This is in reference to the person wants the taxpayers to run the newly proposed Civic Center.

That is about as funny as the clowns that are running the current one. You would need someone to run it that knows how to bring in the shows, first of all. Secondly, whom would you put in charge of day-to-day operations? This just goes to show you have to be from Disgusta.

You think just like all the commissioners and the clowns that run the Civic Center.

Wow, two boneheads in one whine: Handicapped parking with van signs aren’t just for vans, they are for cars that need just as much room as a van to get the wheelchair in and out; you know the eight feet it takes.

To the keyer: the car you key could be mine that I had to park in two spaces because an able-bodied slob parked in the last available handicapped spot that my car needs. So the next time you see a car parked way out in the parking lot taking up two spaces, think about how far up a parking lot I had to push myself in a wheelchair, you moron!

Augusta’s population has declined over the last 10 years. SRS will eliminate at least 7,000 high paying jobs in the next three to four years. Given the base closure criteria, it is likely that Fort Gordon will be closed in 2006.

It would be irresponsible to commit $94 million to a new arena when Augusta may not be able to provide its citizens basic services.

Growth and improvements are necessary but

they should be tied to actual population and tax base increases in Augusta. Instead of the “build it and they will come” mentality, Augusta government should concentrate on improving and efficiently managing what we have.

It doesn’t really surprise me that folks will dress up as elves and hobbits to see “Lord of the Rings.” When I was eight, I dressed up as Han Solo to see “Return of the Jedi”. But to the civil war re-enactors who turned out to see “Cold Mountain,” I give you the coveted Biggest Losers in the World award. The Reeboks were a nice touch, but I think the Confederate Army wore high tops, not cross-trainers.

This year, Santa gave me a satellite radio.

Greatest gift I’ve ever gotten. No more screaming car commercials. No more morally bankrupt signs of the apocalypse morning radio. No more of the droning, repetitive, every-one-soundslike-Eddie-Vedder crap that they keep calling “new rock.” No more 30 song “heavy rotation” formats. Now Metallica is no longer mandatory.

I can hear another Jane’s Addiction song. No more thug rock. And I can listen to jazz whenever I want. I highly recommend it.

— Call our Whine Line at 510-2051 and leave your comments. We won’t use your name. Fax your whines by dialing (706) 733-6663 or e-mail your whines to whine@metrospirit.com.

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Opinion: Insider

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Mayor Pro Tem Job Up For Grabs

D

uring the first Augusta Commission meeting of 2004, the boys downtown will vote for a new mayor pro tem and city attorney. The back room dealing over the two positions has been in overdrive for weeks. Soon, the politics of the selection process will result in a public vote. As The Insider goes to press, credible sources in the Marble Palace report that Commissioners Bobby Hankerson (District 5) and Marion Williams (District 2) are in a dead heat to replace Commissioner Richard Colclough (District 4) as mayor pro tem.

Meanwhile, Commissioner Steve Shepard (District 3) has apparently nailed down the votes to become city attorney.

The mayor pro tem presides at commission meetings in the absence of the mayor, works with the mayor to recommend committee assignments, and is paid $20,000 per year. Other commissioners are paid $12,000 annually. The pro tem job can provide greater visibility for the commissioner selected and allow the person in the role an opportunity to increase his input in government.

According to insiders, Hankerson has the support of four of five white commissioners with Commissioner Andy Cheek (District 6) supporting Williams. Black commissioners, with the exception of Hankerson, support Williams. That translates into a tie vote if all commission members are present. Reliable sources suggest that while Cheek will support Williams nor the first vote, a persistent deadlock could result in Cheek eventually voting for Hankerson.

Another possibility is that Cheek may surface as a compromise candidate. If neither Williams nor Hankerson supporters will budge from their positions, Cheek has indicated to several commissioners that he would like the job.

The negotiating is hot and heavy as the January 6 meeting approaches so it’s anybody’s guess as to what will transpire. Stay tuned.

Bobby Hankerson

7 M E T R O S P I R I T J A N

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Marion Williams Black Leaders Upset With Hankerson Several political leaders in the AfricanAmerican community are upset with Hankerson because of his aggressive effort to seek the job of mayor pro tem. Since the consolidation bill that united city and county government was passed, there has been an unspoken rule, a gentlemen's agreement, among many politicians regarding the selection of the mayor pro tem. Basically, the unwritten policy has been to select a black commissioner with seniority as long as there is a white mayor.

A white commissioner with some seniority would be chosen in the event of a black mayor. Some black leaders, including several on the Augusta commission, think Williams should be handed the job because he has more seniority. These people are upset with Hankerson because he is a newbie on the commission who is pushing for the role of mayor pro tem. His actions have him in hot water with many people in the African-American community. It will be interesting to watch the political fallout from the January 6 commission meeting.

Commission Races in 2004?

As The Insider reported a few weeks ago, the selection of Augusta Commissioner Steve Shepard as city attorney will vacate the District 3 commission seat. Local Republican Barbara Sims is expected to vie for the job to replace Shepard.

The District 1 commission seat currently held by Lee Beard may come open.

Sources close to the commission report that Beard may resign his seat in the near future. His ill health has prevented him from attending most meetings of late, which has fueled speculation that he may step down.

— The views expressed in this column are the views of The Insider and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

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Commission Keeps Kolb

C

ity Administrator George Kolb was all smiles this week after Augusta Commissioner Marion Williams’ six-month campaign to convince the commission not to renew the administrator’s contract failed miserably.

On Dec. 29, only three commissioners — Richard Colclough, Willie Mays and Williams — voted not to extend Kolb’s contract with the city.

Commissioners Bill Kuhlke, Ulmer Bridges, Andy Cheek, Tommy Boyles and Steve Shepard voted in support of Kolb, while Commissioner Bobby Hankerson abstained from the vote.

Commissioner Lee Beard was absent from the meeting.

As Kolb shook hands with his supporters and received congratulations from a number of commissioners, it was clear that all the hype over whether Kolb would have a job with the city in 2004 was just that — hype.

A decision on the renewal of Kolb’s contract had been postponed numerous times since the commission approved the budget in November. It appeared Williams was trying to buy some time in order to gain the majority of the commission’s support.

Earlier this year, City Attorney Jim Wall told Williams that the “drop-dead date” to inform Kolb that his contract would not be renewed was Dec. 31.

The reason for that date, Wall explained, was that the contract required commissioners to provide Kolb with at least a 180-day written notice prior to expiration of the contract on June 30, 2004 if they intended to terminate him.

So, by Dec. 29, Williams was out of time and short several votes.

Despite all of the speculation about Kolb’s future, his position with the city is secure until the end of June 2005.

After the meeting, Williams said he had never been more frustrated with the commission.

“They are just not men,” Williams said, referring to his fellow commissioners. “They know the administrator has not done his job and yet they’re too scared to do anything about it.

They say they are worried about the SPLOST (Special Purpose Local Option Sales Tax) not going through if we make a change now, but they were elected to do a job. We took an oath to

By Stacey Eidson

do what is right by this government and today they have not done their job.

So, to me, they are just not men.”

The commission is scheduled to ask voters to approve the next phase of sales taxes in July, but Williams said fear over the future of sales taxes is not a good enough reason to keep the administrator.

“I’m really upset and disappointed with this commission,” Williams said.

“And I think you are going to see a divided commission from now on. I think next year is going to be really rough for this commission because the administrator does what he wants to do.

He does not follow the six votes that this board sets out for him to do. He does what he wants to do, when he wants to do it. And this vote is going to allow him to continue to do just that.

“For the rest of the commissioners that voted against my motion, I think they are going to be sorry for it down the road.”

Augusta Commissioner Tommy Boyles said he supported Kolb because he felt it was the best thing to do for the entire community.

“I have no problem with George (Kolb),” Boyles said. “George has done some things that I would probably do a little differently, but I see a lot of things happening next year.

We’ve got two new commissioners (Don Grantham and Jimmy Smith) coming on, a new attorney that will be hired and maybe, if things work out, another new commissioner coming on to replace Steve Shepard.”

Shepard is vying for the position of city attorney that will be vacated by Wall after Jan. 6.

“Also next year we’ve got the sales tax vote and we’ll probably fight a little more about the judicial center,” Boyles said. “In my opinion, this was just one change that we did not have to make.”

However, Boyles said he realizes by voting to keep Kolb in Augusta, tension between the administrator and some of the commissioners will probably continue in 2004.

“I’m afraid there will be more fighting, but I would hope there would not be,” Boyles said. “There are too many important things facing us as a community and a commission and we don’t need to continue these open attacks.

“In my opinion, this was just one change that we did not have to make.”

— Augusta Commissioner Tommy Boyles

“I believe, if you disagree with somebody, for gosh sakes, tell them privately, don’t bring it out here on the commission floor because it just makes the whole commission look bad.”

Commissioner Bobby Hankerson said he abstained in the vote against Kolb because the biggest problem he had with the administrator was the way his contract is written.

Hankerson said it’s terribly unfair for the contract to automatically extend unless Kolb is given at least a 180-day written notice prior to its scheduled renewal date.

“I can deal with the man, but I can’t deal with this contract,” Hankerson said. “It’s a contract that you can’t get out of. You are constantly in it and I think it ties your hands.”

Hankerson said his goal was to renegotiate the contract, but keep Kolb.

“I personally wanted six votes not to renew this current contract and then renegotiate another contract,” Hankerson said. “But I did not have enough votes to do what I wanted to do, so I abstained from voting.”

Even though Kolb’s contract was renewed, Hankerson said he hopes that the administrator understands that, after receiving an annual performance evaluation of 66.8 percent in November and

having at least three commissioners vote to terminate his position with the city, he should work on his relationship with the commission.

“You have to have respect for the commission and honor their requests,” Hankerson said. “I’m not asking him to do anything that is wrong. If six commissioners say this is what we want, whether he likes it or not, he has to go ahead and do it. So, I would hope there would be some improvements there.”

However, since Kolb now knows his detractors don’t have the support they need to get rid of him, Hankerson said it will be interesting to see how the administrator plays his cards.

“With the politics like they are, whether you as an administrator think you are doing a good job or not, as long as you’ve got six votes to support you, you can do whatever you want to do,” Hankerson said. “So, I think you will probably hear the same arguments and the same outbursts in meetings next year that you did this year because there are people who are very dissatisfied.

“And if the administrator continues to operate the way he has in the past, we’ll probably be right back here next year discussing the same thing.”

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Coliseum Authority Ready To Refinance Bonds

W

hen members of the AugustaRichmond County Coliseum Authority were told last May that they could save more than $500,000 if they refinanced the civic center’s $6 million bond debt, the board thought the city of Augusta would be singing its praises.

Instead, according to Authority Chairman Billy Holden, City Administrator George Kolb acted as if the board was asking for the moon.

“We just hit roadblock after roadblock,” Holden said. “I had no idea anybody was going to have any objection to us saving $500,000.”

On Dec. 29, Kolb explained to the Augusta Commission’s finance committee that he met with a representative of Bank of America earlier that month to negotiate the refinancing of the civic center bonds and discuss possible changes to the coliseum authority’s 1993 contract with the city.

Currently, the city has agreed to pay the authority 3 percent, or half of the money collected, from the hotel-motel tax. But according to Holden, Kolb wanted to change that part of the deal.

“After that meeting, the man from the bank came back and told me that Mr. Kolb offered him $1.5 million (a year from hotel-motel taxes),” Holden said. “Right now we get $2 million. We pay $1.2 million just to pay for the bonds. So, that would leave us $300,000 to run the (civic center) building.”

Holden said it would be impossible to operate the civic center with Kolb’s recommended $500,000-a-year cut.

When the bank first presented the authority with its proposal, Holden said, bank representatives told the board that if the city approved the refinancing of the bond by September, it would save the authority $500,000. But since then, interest rates have changed, and now the bank is estimating that the authority could save approximately $300,000.

Kolb told the committee members that he felt that Holden should not be publicly discussing the details of their contract negotiations.

“I think right now this discussion is premature and inappropriate because we are talking about it in a public meeting,” Kolb said. “I will say this: we can not live with the way the contract is now. Or ... I would not recommend it.”

Kolb said his concerns with the contract were not only about renegotiating the amount of hotel-motel taxes the authority

currently receives. He also said the contract’s wording needs to be revised and updated.

For example, the 1993 contract states that the authority will receive 100 percent of the hotel-motel taxes. In 1993, the hotel-motel tax was at 3 percent. Since then it has been raised to 6 percent.

Augusta Commissioner Marion Williams didn’t have a problem with changing the wording of the contract, but he was concerned about Kolb trying to renegotiate the amount of money the authority receives each year.

“Why was the dollar amount changed?”

Williams asked Kolb. “That’s what is affecting the refinancing of the bond, so I need to know from your perspective why we are suggesting cutting it.”

Kolb denied cutting any money going to the authority and insisted that he and the board are still negotiating.

“I haven’t said anything has been cut,” Holden corrected Kolb. “I’m saying you told the man at Bank of America that you were going to give us $1.5 million. Right now we get $2 million. So, if that’s not a cut I don’t know what is.”

Holden told Kolb that if he insists on trying to cut the authority’s share of the hotelmotel tax that the board will simply back away from refinancing the bonds.

“In all seriousness, we don’t have to refinance the bonds, but we would be doing an injustice to the public if we don’t,” Holden said. “Right now we have done an injustice to the public by losing over $200,000 for not closing it out on Sept. 1.”

Augusta Commissioner Ulmer Bridges didn’t understand why the coliseum authority was being held up.

“The question I’m asking is, why don’t we renew the contract and help them save $300,000?” Bridges asked.

Kolb tried to explain his point of view again.

“Because the question is, should you treat the civic center authority differently than any other agency?” Kolb said. “All other agencies — the port authority, the library, the museum — they all come to you on an annual basis and ask you for an appropriation to help them get through the year ...

But the difference is, you maintain control of the dollars.”

Williams told Kolb that he was wasting time and money by arguing trivial details.

“We are going to lose $500,000 that we could have put in a bank, in a hole, in the ground, anywhere, to use whenever we got ready to just because we don’t like the con-

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J A N 1

“I had no idea anybody would object to this. I thought this was a slam-dunk. A no-brainer. Of course, I know better now.”

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— Coliseum Authority Chairman Billy Holden

tract?” Williams asked. “We’ve lost $200,000 because folks have been messing around.”

Williams said that he wished Holden had brought this issue before the finance committee much sooner. Holden agreed that he wasn’t aggressive enough in making sure the city took action to refinance the bond.

“I just assumed it was red tape we were going through. I was wrong,” Holden said.

“I’ll be frank with you, I had no idea anybody would object to this. I thought this was a slam-dunk. A no-brainer. Of course, I know better now.”

Augusta Commissioner Willie Mays called the city’s handling of the refinancing of the civic center’s bond “fiscally irresponsible.”

“Let’s say it’s a terrible contract, it wouldn’t be the first one I’ve seen around this place,” Mays said. “This is crazy as hell. Y’all need to quit B.S.-ing this issue.”

The finance committee voted unanimously that the city should change the archaic language in its 1993 contract with the authority in order to allow the board to refinance the civic center’s bonds. But the committee members also voted that the authority should continue to receive 3 percent of the city’s hotel-motel tax, along with 30 percent of the beer and wine tax.

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The final vote will go before the full commission on Jan. 6.

However, before commissioners blamed the city entirely for delaying the refinancing of the bonds, City Attorney Jim Wall said that the real problem laid with the authority.

“It’s not the city of Augusta’s fault,” Wall said. “The problem with this deal was, it didn’t have a quarterback. There was nobody pushing this on the part of the coliseum authority to my knowledge. “ But Mays pointed out that the coliseum authority is made up of volunteers that have served on a board, which, for most of 2003, didn’t have a permanent general manager operating the civic center.

“There may not have been a quarterback on the B-Team, but the A-Team pays tons of folks over here,” Mays said, referring to the city. “We’ve got quarterbacks, we got defensive players and offensive players.

We’ve got a whole finance department downstairs.

“If there is an opportunity to save money, you call Billy Holden and you jack him up if you are George Kolb and say, ‘I don’t want to miss $500,000.’ That’s how you settle things with our money. After all, that’s an opportunity to save a half a million dollars.”

11

Drifting Through History

By Brian Neill

M E T R O S P I R I T J A N 1

PHOTO: REBECCA ROGERS

N

ot to be discouraged by a nip in the air, a handful of adults and several small children bundled up in blankets and jackets on a recent 40-degree Saturday and waited for the crew of the “Henry Cumming” to cast off from the dock.

Boat Capt. Wade Hammer, with the mischievous humor of a thrill ride operator, said the Butt Bridge’s main arch wouldn’t likely be a problem to navigate beneath.

“We usually don’t hit the bridge,” he told the passengers. “But you never can tell with the wind sheer.”

The kids watched with wonderment — and, perhaps, a little anxiety — as the 65foot-long, fiberglass replica Petersburg boat passed beneath the cavernous concrete arch and then back out into sunlight again.

Mission accomplished.

The Augusta Canal Authority had been banking on the popularity of these onehour guided tours, even a number of years before taking delivery of the first of two boats this October.

Since then, Canal Authority officials say, the tours have become so popular that a third daily trip was added to the Saturday schedule.

Tours are also offered on Tuesday and Thursday of each week.

Powered by an electric motor, the Henry Cumming — named for the Augustan who first convinced the city to build the canal — is capable of carrying 49 passengers and is modeled after the wooden barges that used to haul cotton and other cargo up and down the canal in the 1800s.

The Henry Cumming has a top speed of roughly seven miles per hour.

A second, identical boat, the “William Phillips,” named for the engineer who designed the canal, should be delivered from its construction site of Tybee Island before spring, Canal Authority officials say.

Together, the boats cost a total of $500,000 and were paid for through a Federal Transportation Enhancement Act grant.

The narrated tours begin at the Enterprise Mill Dock and continue past the Butt Bridge, the Sibley and King mills and the Confederate Powderworks, before turning around at the Lake Olmstead bulkhead.

At that point during the recent tour, Hammer cut the engine to give passengers an idea of what it really felt like to be on continued on page 12

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Four-year-old Daniel Ward takes in the scenery during a recent chilly morning ride on the Petersburg boat.

continued from page 11 an old Petersburg boat, powered only by the slow-moving canal current.

“How’d you like to ride to Savannah at this speed?” Hammer asked passengers. “It would take about a week or two. I think this is the most serene part of the tour. You just quietly ride along and look for sights of Mother Nature.”

Kids on the boat eyed a few turtles, some holes that were thought to be home to muskrats and the shy and typically elusive Kingfisher bird.

From the Lake Olmstead bulkhead, the tour then proceeds in the opposite direction nearly as far as the 13th Street canal gates. There, it stops to turn in front of “Meadow Garden,” the former home of George Walton, one of the signers of the Declaration of Independence.

The boat then returns to the dock.

With another boat soon to arrive, and future plans for expanded tours, it’s not hard to envision the potential tourist draw of the Petersburg boats.

Danny Ward, a real estate manager who now lives in Atlanta, was born in Augusta and returns here regularly to visit his parents.

He had brought his young children on the recent ride.

“It was a fun trip. The kids really enjoyed it,” Ward said, visibly anxious to get off the dock and out of the cold. “I think it’ll be a great attraction — especially when it’s warmer.”

The Petersburg boat tours also tie in well with the Enterprise Mill Interpretive Center, an attraction that opened in April on the first floor of the building.

A variety of interactive displays in the museum-type attraction show the role the canal played in industry and developing

communities over the years.

For example, there are displays that show how mill houses and communities grew up around the canal. There are also actual textile looms on display.

Visitors to the center can also see how the canal-powered turbines and electric generators work. The generators still produce electricity and the Canal Authority even provides kilowatts to Enterprise Mill as a portion of its rent in the building.

The Enterprise Mill Interpretive Center also features a 10-minute, surround-sound movie that explores the canal from past to present.

Ward said he thinks the Petersburg boats and new attractions at Enterprise Mill will help people in Augusta appreciate their history.

“I think in Augusta, there’s so much history that people don’t know about and recognize,” Ward said. “Most people, when they think of Augusta, they think of golf.”

Petersburg boat tours, weather and water conditions permitting, are offered at 11 a.m. and 1 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and 11, 1:30 and 3 on Sundays.

The cost is $6 for adults; $5 for military and seniors 55 and over; and $4 for children under 18.

The Enterprise Mill Interpretive Center is open from 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Monday through Saturday, and 1-6 p.m. on Sundays.

Admission is $5 for adults; $4 for military and seniors 55 and over; and $3 for children ages 6-18. Children under 6 are free.

Combination boat tour/interpretive center tickets are also available. They are $10 for adults; $8 for military and seniors 55 and over; and $6 for children.

Reservations for the Petersburg boat tours are recommended. For reservations, or for more information, call (706) 823-7089.

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Canal Authority Marketing Director Rebecca Rogers (left) narrates a recent boat tour. Capt.

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News of the Weird 2003 Classics

J A N 1 2 0 0 4

G

lobal terrorism, war in two countries, budget deficits as far as the eye can see, an emerging national battle on gay marriage, the most bitter partisan political divisions in a generation, but you already know all that. Here is what’s really important: the most disturbing, yet underreported, news of the year.

Transsexual Eye for the Straight Guy Among the fashions introduced at the seasonal shows in Milan, Italy, was British designer Vivienne Westwood’s “Man” collection, featuring for-men items with frilly cuffs and bonnetlike scarves, along with tight, knit sweater sets and jumpers worn over male models’ fake breasts. Westwood (a pioneer of punk clothing in the 1970s) said she was motivated by “how men are so attached to the breast of their mother, a symbol of eternal warmth.”

Chutzpah!

A Kansas City, Kan., judge granted Wesley Fitzpatrick a temporary restraining order against a female who he said was stalking him (making him “scared, depressed and in fear for my freedom”).

The order was rescinded when the judge found out that the “stalker” was actually Fitzpatrick’s parole officer (who said Fitzpatrick had been missing meetings).

Unclear on the Concept • Boston City Councilman Felix Arroyo announced in January that he was going on a hunger strike to protest U.S. war threats toward Iraq. At first, he said he would consume only liquids, but then limited the strike to daylight hours, and, later still, restricted his hardship regimen

to only the second and fourth Fridays of each month.

• North Korea’s official news agency accused Japan of breaking a promise to return five people to North Korea. The five are Japanese citizens who were kidnapped by North Korea in 1978 but released to see their families in October 2002. North Korea’s position is that they were sent home only temporarily and must be returned.

Leave No Superintendent Behind The Lawrence, Mass., superintendent of schools, Wilfredo T. Laboy, failed for the third time the basic English proficiency test required of all teachers in the state (a test which, after one of the failures, he had called “stupid”). He passed on the fourth try.

In Fact, There Must Not Be Any Problems in Massachusetts Schools Longmeadow, Mass., School Committee Chair Mary Ryan-Kusiak abruptly adjourned the Aug. 25 meeting because committee member Laura J. Bertelli refused to sit in her assigned seat, and Ryan-Kusiak said she’d cancel the next meeting, too, if Bertelli didn’t sit where she was told.

Least Competent Criminals Gary Lee Owens, 42, was arrested in Stilwell, Kan., even though police weren’t even after him when they knocked on his door. They had a tip that two fugitives were hiding at that address, and since Owens knew nothing about that, he matter-of-factly gave them permission to search the house, but then added the restriction “everywhere but the garage.”

That was good enough for a judge to

grant a search warrant, and in the garage, police found the remains of a suspected methamphetamine lab.

American Hegemony in the Middle East “The Vagina Monologues” was performed at a hotel in Islamabad, Pakistan, by author Eve Ensler and a troupe of local actresses (bundled in their traditional clothing) to an audience of 150, who apparently loved it. “If (the play) can happen here, it can happen anywhere,” said Ms. Hibaaq Osman, a Somali Muslim activist, who playfully renamed the capital city “Vaginabad.”

“Having these Pakistani women talking about vibrators (is) what it’s all about.”

The Class-Action Money Tree • In a settlement between Sears and customers with improperly done wheel balancing, lawyers got $2.45 million, and customers got $2.50 a tire.

• In a $3.7 million settlement between televangelist Jim Bakker’s Praise The Lord Ministries and 165,000 defrauded Christians, lawyers got $2.5 million, and each victim got $6.54.

• In a settlement of price-fixing charges against cosmetics manufacturers and retailers, lawyers got $24 million, and each customer got a free cosmetic.

Red Alert Two American Legion posts and two other veterans’ groups in Pleasanton, Calif., sponsored a class on dowsing to consider whether domestic terrorists could be identified by pointing sticks at suspicious people to see if the sticks move. Said one of the leaders, “You can’t wait for the FBI and police to come up with solutions when you have the bad guys living among us.”

By Chuck Shepherd

What We’re Fighting For In one of the first expressions of religious freedom just days after the statue of Saddam Hussein fell in Baghdad, Iraqi Shi’ite pilgrims in Karbala celebrated the long-suppressed holy martyrs’ day of Shaoura by the traditional method of slashing their heads open and marching through the streets with their clothes soaked in blood.

Why People in Roanoke Rapids Do All Their Shopping at Food Lion Michael Christopher Harris, 24, was arrested after he tried to pass a $200 bill emblazoned with a photo of George W. Bush at a convenience store in Roanoke Rapids, N.C., but then police found out that, before that, he had gotten a cashier at a local Food Lion to actually accept one and give him back change.

Cutting-Edge Law Enforcement • To accommodate the many activists who wished to be arrested protesting a visit by President Bush to Santa Fe, N.M., in May, police chief Beverly Lennen set up a system at the jail for reserving booking time in advance.

• Wiltshire County (England) police handdelivered letters to 22 persistent criminals in January asking them, for the New Year, to please stop breaking the law.

Makes Texas Look Like Sweden China’s Yunnan province rolled out a fleet of 18 “mobile execution vehicles” to travel the countryside so that capital punishment (via lethal injection) could be imposed immediately upon the rendering of a guilty verdict.

Disability Checks: $39,000 a Year; Getting the Last Laugh: Priceless Milwaukee police officer Robert Henry was fired in 2002 for beating up a suspect in an incident caught on videotape. He was reinstated on appeal, but then immediately filed for disability, citing the work-related stress of being fired for beating up a suspect. This year, Henry (who had four years’ service) was granted permanent disability ($23,000 immediately, then $39,000 a year for 29 years, after which he gets the standard pension).

The Other America West Point, Ky., hosted 12,000 visitors for the weekend-long Knob Creek Gun Range

Machine Gun Shoot (with a separate competition for flame throwers). The featured attraction was “The Line,” where a limit of 60 people (the waiting list is 10 years long) get to fire their machine guns into a field of abandoned cars and boats, and during which a shooter might run through $10,000 worth of ammunition. Among the shoot’s champions was Samantha Sawyer, 16, the top women’s submachine gunner for the last four years.

One man told the Louisville Courier-Journal that he met his wife at a previous shoot, knowing that “if she could accept flamethrowing as a hobby, she could accept anything.” Said another: “This is one of those times when you know this (the United States) is the greatest place on Earth.”

Fool for Client 3, Prosecutors 0 Between June and August, high school dropout Jonathan Harris acted as his own lawyer in three Philadelphia felony cases and won them all, including a murder trial that could have sent him to death row. He had two more charges pending and was overheard taunting the prosecutor about taking him on again.

Hurricanes 2, Pat Robertson 0 Hurricane Isabel roared through Virginia Beach, Va., in September, inflicting serious property damage despite public calls for prayer to keep it away by local resident Pat Robertson, whose Christian Broadcasting Network is headquartered there. (In 1998, Robertson condemned the city of Orlando, Fla., for sponsoring the Gay Days festival, and warned the city that God could tear it up during hurricane season for promoting homosexuality. Instead, the first hurricane to make landfall in 1998, Bonnie, scored a direct hit on Virginia Beach.)

The Laws of Irony Are Strictly Enforced • The Pentagon, claiming an exception to the law, rejected a Freedom of Information Act request by a reporter to see an internal training video. The video was the 22-minute “Freedom of Information Act/The People’s Right to Know,” for teaching Pentagon employees how to administer the act • In March, U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia accepted an award by the Cleveland City Club for his contributions to freedom of speech, which he accepted at a club meeting that, at his request, was closed to television and radio.

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Politics As Usual Six candidates for city offices in Charleston, W.Va., misspelled their party affiliations in their official filing forms (“Democart,” “Democrate,” “Repbulican” and “Repucican”).

The Moral Authority of the United Nations Dining-room workers at the U.N. staged a wildcat strike at lunchtime on May 2, causing the building’s restaurants to be locked down, but a man whom “Time” magazine called a “high-ranking U.N. official” ordered them unlocked so that staff members could eat (perhaps to pay for food on the honor system). What ensued, according to “Time,” was “Baghdad-style (looting) chaos,” in which staff members ran wild, stripping the cafeterias and snack bars bare not only of food, but of liquor and silverware, none of it paid for, including bar drinks taken by “some well-known diplomats.”

“I Know You’re Just Testing My Commitment, Lord, But ...”

Marion, Ohio, inmate Willie Chapman got advance permission to delay his scheduled parole by one day until Aug. 12 so he could attend a prison meeting of Promise Keepers.

Chapman’s inspirational decision made the newspapers, inadvertently alerting his manslaughter victim’s family, who complained to the Ohio Parole Board that Chapman should not be released at all. Consequently, the board reconsidered the parole and delayed it 991 days, until May 1, 2006.

Goofy Obsessions • Largo, Fla., private school principal Dick Baker, 52, resigned in September after revelations by the St. Petersburg Times that he took some of his middle-school girls (his “princesses”) on dozens of overnighters to Disney World, during which he supplied them with Disney-themed costumes and swimsuits and wore his own Disney pajamas. Baker’s friends and neighbors, all the princesses and most parents supported him, but enough other people were puzzled by his obsession to force his resignation.

• An LA Weekly writer hung out with Benji Breitbart, 20, Doug Marsh, and several other “Disneyana enthusiasts,” who spend hours nearly every single day at Disneyland; have almost total recall of the park’s history and culture; rabidly amass memorabilia; and preach with intensity on which aspects of the

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park Walt Disney would not have allowed to be established. They habitually wear Disneythemed clothes and use the pronoun “we” as if the park were theirs. Why, Breitbart was asked, was Disney such a central force in his life? “I tried to figure that out. I just ended up with no answers.”

Isn’t This How Ozzy Osbourne Met Sharon?

A 36-year-old man from Arcadia, Fla., checked himself into a counseling clinic after being identified as the one who had been pretending in public to be choking on food and persuading women to grasp him in the Heimlich maneuver, after which he would hug them lavishly and attempt clumsily to develop a relationship. A sheriff’s spokesman in Charlotte County said the man probably had done nothing illegal. (Novelist Chuck Palahniuk, author of “Fight Club,” recently published “Choke,” whose storyline roughly matches the man’s actions, but apparently some Florida incidents predated the book’s publication.)

Still, It Beats Having to Do Telemarketing The Norwegian newspaper VG’s series on odd summer jobs included that of teenager Svein Tore Hauge, who, armed with a shovel and a container, works at Saerheim Plant Research, following cattle around and catching their excreta before it can hit the ground. Because the work-product is used for scientific study, it must he “pristine,” free of grass, dirt, foreign bacteria, etc. Sometimes it’s easy, he said, but, “Sometimes it just sprays in all directions.”

Gee, Ya Think It Was a Male That Came Up With That Custom?

Females in tribes in Kenya and other African nations are finally rebelling at the ancient custom of requiring a newly widowed woman to pay to have sex with the village’s “cleanser” to purify her soul sufficiently to be allowed to attend her husband’s funeral. Said one particularly vulgar, besotted cleanser in Gangre, “It’s not bad for me since I get to be with the beautiful ladies. The women like it because who else would be with them. They can’t stay alone with the spirits. They need me.” Cleansers are believed to be major HIV conveyers since a condom would not allow the spirits to pass.

— Chuck Shepherd © United Press Syndicate

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Bite

Find Nirvana at Shangri-La

By Amy Fennell Christian

J A N 1 2 0 0 4

F

rom the looks of the packed parking lot, a visitor might think that Shangri-La does a booming dinner business. A closer inspection, however, reveals that most of the traffic is for a popular steak restaurant that sits next door.

I always feel a little sorry for the patrons sitting outside that restaurant, who often wait 30-45 minutes for a table. Sure, sometimes nothing but a steak will do, but if they would just walk next door, I think to myself, they might never go back.

For in the adjoining restaurant, they would be whisked to a table with no wait, they could relax, they could experience upscale Chinese, Japanese, Thai and Korean dishes … and they would end up paying about the same price.

I’ll admit that I’m a frequent visitor to Shangri-La for dinner (they also serve a lunch buffet that I’ve yet to experience), and I like it for several reasons. They serve a mean Mai Tai, a frou-frou drink I first tried at a friend’s urging and now almost always (and only) order at Shangri-La; it’s beautifully decorated with Chinese elements that feel authentic rather than kitschy; the noise level is minimal; and members of the wait staff are helpful and accommodating, but restrained compared to other restaurants.

But even more, I like Shangri-La because it’s so vastly different from other Chinese restaurants. Very few restaurants of its kind could be called romantic, but Shangri-La seems to be without sacrificing its family-friendly quality.

They also seem to care a great deal about how the food looks, and the presentation is always impressive. We

Photos by Joe White

recently ordered a simple appetizer of chicken wings, and they came in a napkin-lined basket with a handle. Crab angles come to the table looking like a row of flowers. Some dishes are piled high on the plate, while others are served in varying colored serving pieces that complement the colors of the ingredients.

My family has worked our way through most of the menu during our frequent visits and have never been disappointed, so during our most recent trek to ShangriLa, we decided to try a few new items.

We couldn’t, however, keep from ordering old favorites like the chicken wings — big, blazing hot (temperaturewise) and marinated beforehand rather than served with a sauce; the hot and sour soup — spicy hot and well-flavored

without the gloppy consistency that you find at some other Chinese restaurants; and the crab angles — wonton wrappers filled with cream cheese and crab, fried and served with a sweet and tangy red sauce.

Added to those were sizzling rice soup, a house special pan-fried noodle dish from the “Japanese Corner” and Ma Po Tofu, a spicy dish with ground pork and peas that was, oddly enough, listed in the vegetable section of the menu.

I highly recommend the sizzling rice soup, even though it can only be ordered for two and the chicken broth is a bit salty.

The menu says it comes with shrimp, chicken, mushrooms and water chestnuts, but didn’t mention the best part about it — the brightly-colored and crunchy pieces of zucchini and carrot. With the

crispy rice floating on top, it was a perfect winter soup — warm and soothing.

The menu description of the noodle dish said that we would enjoy two textures at the same time, which I really didn’t understand until I dug in. The thin egg noodles, pan fried, formed a nest on the bottom of the plate, over which was a rice wine and chicken broth sauce. The edges of the noodles stayed crispy, while parts covered by the sauce had the same consistency as spaghetti.

The house special version of the dish came with chicken, roast pork, shrimp and squid, and all the elements of the dish worked well. It, like the soup, was a soothing dish.

Contrasting those was the Ma Po Tofu, a dish that, when it came to the table in a dark shallow bowl, reminded me more of an Indian dish. Spicy and dark reddishbrown from the hot bean paste, it was filling without being too heavy.

Sure there was the occasional problem.

The pork and squid in the noodle dish were a little tough and we discovered that neither of us liked the extra soft tofu as much as we do the firmer kind. Service was uncharacteristically erratic as well: the soups, for instance, came to the table a good 5-10 minutes apart, as did our appetizers.

Overall, however, we left feeling the same way we always do when we leave: content, relaxed and very, very full.

Shangri-La? Well, it’s pretty darned close.

Shangri-La is located at 2933 Washington Road. Hours are 11:30 a.m.9:30 p.m. Sun.-Thurs., and 11:30 a.m.-10:30 p.m. Fri.-Sat.

19

Arts

& Entertainment

M E T R O S P I R I T J A N 1

2003 Music Year in Review

2 0 0 4

By Lisa Jordan

R

emember all the whacked-out events — and celebrities — in the music world that made 2003 so much fun? Of course you don’t. That’s why we’re bringing you a fun little end-of-the-year package highlighting some of the people and things that piqued our interest, made us laugh and even shed a few tears over the last 12 months. Just think of it as a big, fat, holiday-bloated version of Music Minis.

Enjoy.

Courtney Love was arrested in October following a 2 a.m. rock-throwing session at her ex-boyfriend’s bedroom window.

As if that weren’t enough excitement for one night, Love was later admitted to the emergency room a few hours after that for ODing on OxyContin.

Michigan sanitation worker D’Angelo Bailey went up against Eminem in a defamation suit and lost. To add insult to injury, the judge delivered the verdict in a poorly-crafted rap.

Get a Clue, Already Hey, RIAA — your scare tactics aren’t working. Despite suing a 21-year-old student for $98 billion and suing a 12-yearold girl who later reached a $2,000 settlement with the music industry, illegal music file-sharing is still commonplace.

So Bizarre, He Needs His Own Category Michael. Jackson. There. We said it. It was another banner year for the whittled pop star, what with the bizarre television documentary he was the subject of in February and his recent arrest on seven counts of performing lewd or lascivious acts on a child under 14, as well as two counts of administering an intoxicating agent. Journalist Martin Bashir’s documentary served to cement public sentiment that Jackson just might be crazy after all — we got to watch him climb trees, drop millions of dollars in minutes on giant, ugly urns and encase his three children in elaborate masks.

Politics as Usual Dixie Chick Natalie Maines learned the hard way not to speak out against the president’s policies after dissing Dubya at a London concert. The Chicks subsequently suffered from reduced radio airplay and from seeing thousands of their CDs being crushed by steamrollers at anti-Dixie Chick events all over the country. Ouch.

And Madonna, uncharacteristically shying away from controversy, pulled her politically-charged “American Life” music video from rotation in March, claiming she didn’t wish to offend anyone given the “volatile state of the world.”

Nightclub Tragedy In February, a show by the band Great White at a small club in Rhode Island ended tragically after the band’s pyrotechnic display ignited a blaze that killed 100 and injured dozens of others.

Department of Justice Bear with us; this section might run a tad long. Seems musicians can’t keep

Dixie Chicks themselves out of the courthouse — or the jailhouse, as the case might be.

Producer Phil Spector, in whose home the body of actress Lana Clarkson was found back in February, was formally charged with her murder in November.

R. Kelly was arrested in January on 12 counts of possession of child pornography. This arrest comes after the crooner’s 2002 arrest on 21 similar counts. And Pete Townshend was also arrested in January for viewing child pornography on his computer, though all charges were dropped four months later.

Pretender Chrissie Hynde was detained in July after participating in a PETA demonstration, in which she and others protested KFC’s treatment of chickens by smearing red paint on a KFC restaurant in Paris.

Motley Crue’s Vince Neil allegedly attacked a prostitute at a Nevada brothel after she demanded prepayment for her services. The brothel’s owner sided with Neil, saying that one of the perks of being a celebrity is getting freebies.

Even so, it’s not cool to get violent with ladies, Vince.

Musicians We Lost This Year Buddy Arnold, Erik Braunn, Benny Carter, James Carter, June Carter Cash, Johnny Cash, Arthur Conley, Adam Cox, Celia Cruz, Ronnie Dawson, Howie Epstein, Matthew Fitzgerald, Jeremy Gage, Ruben Gonzalez, Bobby Hatfield, Ethan James, Robert Palmer, Sam Phillips, Noel Redding, Dave Rowberry, Compay Segundo, Nina Simone, Elliott Smith, Gary Stewart, Tony Thompson, Ed Townsend, Barry White and Warren Zevon.

Hey, whaddya know — we made it all the way through without once mentioning J. Lo! Here’s hoping 2004 goes just as well.

20 M E T R O S P I R I T J A N 1 2 0 0 4

8

DaysA Week

Arts

Auditions

“LAST OF THE RED HOT LOVERS” AUDITIONS with Stage III will be held Jan. 12, 7 p.m., at 517 Granite Pointe in Mar tinez. Par ts are available for one male age 40-plus and for three females, ages 20-50. The show runs the last weekend in February. Call 868-9663.

Exhibitions

PAINTINGS BY DIANE DAVIS will be on display at the Gibbs Library throughout January. Call 863-1946.

WORKS BY ROBERT LYON are on display at the Augusta State University Fine Ar ts Gallery Jan. 15-Feb. 5. Opening reception is 5-7 p.m. Jan. 15. Free. Call 737-1444.

CER AMICS BY JULIET DEARING will be on exhibit in the Lower Gallery of the Etherredge Center Jan. 4-30. Call (803) 641-3305.

THE AUGUSTA CHORALE will hold auditions for new members Jan. 5 and 12, 6:30 p.m., in the Gilber t-Lambuth Memorial Chapel of Paine College. Interested persons must be prepared to sing and be able to read music. For information, contact Jayme Smalley at 733-7809.

“JACK SPENCER: PHOTOGRAPHS FROM NATIVE SOIL” will be on display at the Morris Museum of Ar t Jan. 10-Feb. 15.

Call 724-7501 for information.

ENOPION THEATRE COMPANY is looking for volunteers to act, sing, sew, build and more for their new musical, “Creation.” Applications are available at www.imaryproductions.com or by calling (803) 442-9039.

PHOTOGRAPHIC WORKS BY SELLY GOODWIN will be on display in the ar t hall of Sacred Hear t Cultural Center Jan. 8Feb. 29. Ar tist reception 5-7 p.m. Jan. 8. Call 826-4700 for more information.

SWEET ADELINES HARMONY RIVER CHORUS OPEN REHEARSAL for singers each Thursday at 7 p.m. at Church of Christ, 600 Mar tintown Rd. in Nor th Augusta. They are on the lookout for voices in the lower ranges. Contact Mary Norman at (803) 279-6499.

“RABIN REMEMBERED” photographic exhibition highlighting the life and accomplishments of Prime Minister Yitzchak Rabin at the Augusta Jewish Community Center. Free admission. 228-3636.

Education

SQUARE DANCE LESSONS at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken begin Jan. 26. Open house held Jan. 12, 7:30 p.m.

Cost is $36 per couple. Call (803) 642-7631 for information.

ADULT BEGINNER GUITAR CLASS offered by Nor th Augusta Parks, Recreation and Leisure Services begins in January.

Open to students 14 years of age and up. For more information and to reserve a spot in class, call Michael at 823-5818 or e-mail simonsays_ed_resources@hotmail.com.

BALLROOM DANCE LESSONS at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken Jan. 13-Feb. 17. Cost is $40 per couple. Call (803) 642-7631.

ISRAELI DANCE WORKSHOP at the Augusta Jewish Community Center Sunday af ternoons, 4-5 p.m. Open to teens and adults; no experience or par tners are necessary.

Cost is $2 per session, with the first session free. For information or to schedule a pre-class beginner/refresher session, contact Jackie Cohen, 738-9016.

ART CLASSES AND WORKSHOPS are offered year-round at the Ger trude Herber t Institute of Ar t. Winter classes begin Jan. 6; those seeking scholarships for the quar ter must apply

by Jan. 5. Classes and workshops are open to toddlers through adults and feature instruction in drawing, painting, photography, pot tery, weaving and sculpture. For a newsletter or detailed information on registering for classes at the Ger trude Herber t, call 722-5495. The Ger trude Herber t Institute of Ar t also offers educational tours; for information, contact the education director at the above telephone number.

ART CLASSES FOR CHILDREN AND ADULTS at the Ar t Factory. The Ar t Factory also has a homeschool program and scholarships are available. Programs include painting, pottery, pilates, hip hop and modern dance and more.

Registration now accepted for Winter 2004 courses, which begin Jan. 12. Classes are held at the Ar t Factory, 418 Crawford Ave., or at the Augusta Jewish Community Center.

Call 731-0008 for details.

THE POTTERY OF NELLIE ANDREWS PIERCE will be at the Ar t Factory through Jan. 9. Call 731-0008 for info.

“LET’S PLAY: PASTIMES FROM THE PAST” through Feb. 15 at the Augusta Museum of History. For more information, call 722-8454.

“THE LOW COUNTRY: PAINTINGS BY PRESTON RUSSELL” will be on display at the Morris Museum of Ar t through Jan. 11. For more info, call 724-7501.

“BABY-BOOM DAYDREAMS: THE ART OF DOUGLAS BOURGEOIS” will be on exhibit at the Morris Museum of Ar t through Feb. 15. Call 724-7501 for information.

“EDWARD RICE: RECENT MONOTYPES” exhibit at the Morris Museum of Ar t runs through Jan. 4. Call 724-7501.

“DEANNE DUNBAR: OBJECTS OF DESIRE” will be on display at the Rabold Gallery in Aiken through Feb. 14. For more information, call (803) 641-4405 or e-mail raboldgallery@bellsouth.net.

Dance

THE AUGUSTA INTERNATIONAL FOLK DANCE CLUB meets Thursday evenings at 7:30 p.m. No par tners are needed and newcomers are welcome. Call 737-6299 for location and info.

THE DANCES OF UNIVERSAL PEACE held the first Saturday of every month, 7-9 p.m., at the Unitarian Church of Augusta, honor the religious traditions of the world through song and movement. Call (803) 643-0460 for more information.

AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF THE UNITED STATES AMATEUR BALLROOM DANCERS ASSOCIATION holds a dance the first Saturday of each month, from 7:15-11 p.m. Cost is $7 for members and $10 for non-members. Held at the BPOE facility on Elkdom Cour t. Contact Melvis Lovet t, 733-3890, or Jean Avery, 863-4186, for information.

“Adaptation” will be shown 6:30 p.m. Jan. 6 at the Main Library as part of the library’s free film series.

Music

KEITH GEHLE per forms at the Jan. 13 edition of Tuesday’s Music Live. The concer t begins at noon at St. Paul’s Church.

Call 722-3463.

THE AMERICAN CHAMBER PLAYERS present a concer t at the Ma xwell Per forming Ar ts Theatre 8 p.m. Jan. 9. Ar tists talk with Miles Hoffman begins at 7:15 p.m. Tickets are $20 for adults and $5 for school-age children; children under 6 not admit ted. 737-1444.

NEWSONG’S ALL-NEW WINTER JAM SPECTACULAR with Audio Adrenaline, Reliant K, Todd Agnew, Jadyn Maria and Brock Gill Jan. 8, 7 p.m., at the Augusta-Richmond County Civic Center. Tickets are $10 at the door. Call 722-3521 for information.

GOSPEL CELEBRATION WITH DOTTIE PEOPLES Jan. 3, 5 p.m., at the Bell Auditorium. Tickets are $25 in advance or $28 the day of the show. For more information, call 722-3521.

“STANDING IN THE SHADOWS OF MOTOWN” at the Bell Auditorium has been rescheduled for Jan. 17. Tickets are $34 for floor seats and seating in par ts of the balcony and $28 in the rest of the balcony. Call 722-3521.

Theater

“WHAT BLACK FOLK SAY ABOUT BLACK FOLK (PERCEPTION OR TRUTH)” will be presented by Augusta Mini Theatre Jan. 15-16, 8 p.m., and Jan. 17-18, 3 and 8 p.m. , at the Jack B. Patrick Technology Center. General admission is $12 adults, $10 students and $8 youth groups. For ticket information, call 722-0598.

“A THOUSAND CLOWNS” will be per formed by the Aiken Community Playhouse Jan. 9-10, 16-18 and 23-24. Call (803) 648-1438.

Museums

MASTERWORKS OF SOUTHERN ART TOUR Jan. 11, 2 p.m., at the Morris Museum of Ar t. Free admissioin. 724-7501.

“TERRA COGNITA” CONTEMPORARY ARTISTS LECTURE SERIES begins Jan. 8 at the Morris Museum of Ar t with a program by Judy Onofrio. Lectures begin at 7 p.m. and are followed with a meet-the-ar tist reception. Admission is $3 for adults, $2 for seniors, military personnel and students, and free for Morris Museum members, college and university students and faculty with ID. 724-7501.

“TRAVEL WITH THE MORRIS” to the Mint Museum of Ar t in Charlot te, N.C., Jan. 8. Reservations are due by Dec. 30 and day trip includes showing of “Raphael to Monet: European Masterpieces” exhibit, boxed breakfast, museum admission, lunch, transpor tation and hors d’oeuvres. Cost is $90 for Morris Museum of Ar t members and $125 for non-members.

Call 724-7501.

ARTRAGEOUS SUNDAY! Jan. 4, 2 p.m., at the Morris Museum of Ar t. Par ticipants will create a shadow box assemblage. The theme for the project is “peace,” so par ticipants are encouraged, but not required, to bring objects from home that represent this concept. Free admission.

724-7501.

BROWN BAG HISTORY SERIES at the Augusta Museum of History noon, Jan. 7, is a program on World War II Air Force pilots. Program is free to members, $3 for non-members, and reservations are required. Bring your lunch and the museum provides a beverage and desser t. Call 722-8454 by Jan. 6 to reserve your place.

“CELEBRATION OF FLIGHT” exhibit at For t Discovery’s Knox Gallery runs through Jan. 31. Admission to the exhibit is free with paid general admission to For t Discovery. For more information, visit www.NationalScienceCenter.org or call 821-0200.

THE GERTRUDE HERBERT INSTITUTE OF ART in Ware’s Folly exhibits works by local and regional ar tists. Ar t classes, workshops and other educational programming for children, youth and adults are held in the Walker-Mackenzie Studio. Open Tuesday-Friday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Saturday by appointment only. Admission is free, but a donation of $2 for adults and $1 for children and seniors is encouraged. Call 722-5495 or visit www.ghia.org for more info.

THE AUGUSTA MUSEUM OF HISTORY hosts permanent exhibition “Augusta’s Story,” an award-winning exhibit encompassing 12,000 years of local history. For the younger crowd, there’s the Susan L. Still Children’s Discovery Gallery, where kids can learn about history in a hands-on environment. The museum also shows films in the History Theatre and hosts a variety of programs. Located at 560 Reynolds Street. Open Tuesday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sunday 1-5 p.m. Admission is $4 adult, $3 seniors, $2 kids (6-18 years of age) and free for children under 6. Free admission on Sundays. Call 722-8454 or visit www.augustamuseum.org for more information.

THE MORRIS MUSEUM OF ART hosts exhibitions and special events year-round. Open Tuesday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sundays, noon-5 p.m. Closed on Mondays and

major holidays. 1 Tenth Street, Augusta. Call 724-7501 or visit www.themorris.org for details.

DIET COUNSELING CLASSES for diabetics and those with high cholesterol at CSRA Par tners in Health, 1220 Augusta West Parkway. Free. Call 860-3001 for class schedule.

THE MUSEUM OF LAUREL AND HARDY OF HARLEM, GEORGIA features displays of various Laurel and Hardy memorabilia; films also shown. Located at 250 N. Louisville Street in downtown Harlem. Open 1-4 p.m. ThursdayMonday. For more information, call 556-3448.

PROJECT LINK COMMUNITY LECTURE SERIES is held the first Tuesday of every month and is sponsored by the MCG Children’s Medical Center. Project Link provides educational resources and guidance for families who have children with developmental delays, disabilities and other specialized health concerns. Free and open to the public; takes place from 6:30-8 p.m. in the main conference room at the Children’s Medical Center. Jan. 6 program is entitled “Color Me Organized.” Call 721-6838 for information.

LUNCH AT NOON LECTURE SERIES held the second Wednesday of every month at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum of Black History, 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Call the museum at 724-3576 for more information.

Special Events JANUARY FILM SERIES at Headquar ters Library Tuesday nights at 6:30 p.m. Admission is free. Jan. 6 showing of “Adaptation,” Jan. 13 showing of “The Vanishing,” Jan. 20 showing of “Midnight Cowboy” and Jan. 27 showing of “Gigantic: A Tale of Two Johns.” Call 821-2600.

DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. COMMEMORATIVE LUNCHEON Jan. 15, 11:30 a.m., at the Gordon Club at For t Gordon. Ralph Watkins will be the guest speaker. Tickets are $9. Call 791-2014.

GEORGIA GOLF HALL OF FAME 2004 INDUCTION BANQUET Jan. 10, 6:30 p.m. at the Radisson Riverfront Hotel. Tickets are $90 each or $800 for a table of 10. To make a reservation, contact Dianne King, 724-4443.

SWAMP SATURDAY hike through Phinizy Swamp Nature Park Jan. 3, 9:30 a.m. Come prepared with seasonal items, comfor table walking shoes, bottled water and weather-appropriate outerwear. Cameras and binoculars are also welcome. Free; donation accepted. 828-2109.

“DIGISTAR LASER FANTASY” program Jan. 2-3 at the Dupont Planetarium in Aiken. Shows begin at 9 p.m. and ticket prices are $5.50 adults, $4.50 senior citizens and $3.50 students K12. Call (803) 641-3769 or (803) 641-3654. “‘TIS THE SEASON” show at the Dupont Planetarium Jan. 2-3 at 7 and 8 p.m. Prices are $4.50 adults, $3.50 senior citizens and $2.50 students K-12. Call (803) 641-3769.

MCDUFFIE FRIENDS OF ANIMALS holds pet adoptions each Saturday, 1-3 p.m. at Superpetz on Bobby Jones Expressway. Call 556-9090 or visit www.pet finder.com.

COLUMBIA COUNTY HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. and every Sunday from 1-4 p.m. at PetsMar t. For more info, call 860-5020.

RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL AND AUGUSTA ANIMAL RESCUE FRIENDS hold pet adoptions at Superpetz off Bobby Jones Expressway every Sunday from 1-4 p.m.

Call AARF at 364-4747 or visit www.aarf.net. Adoptions also held at the Richmond County Animal Control Shelter, Tues.Sun., 1-5 p.m. Call the shelter at 790-6836.

THE CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. and every Wednesday evening from 5:30-7:30 p.m. at the Pet Center located behind the GreenJackets Stadium on Milledge Rd. 261-PETS.

Out of Town

“ANNIE” will be at the Fox Theatre in Atlanta Jan. 14-18. Call (404) 252-8960 for more information.

“KISS ME, KATE” comes to the Johnny Mercer Theatre in Savannah, Ga., Jan. 12. To order tickets, call 1-800-351-7469.

“A LION IN WINTER” will be at The New American Shakespeare Tavern in Atlanta Jan. 2-Feb. 1. Optional British pub-style menu available one hour and 15 minutes before the performance. Tickets are $19.50-$24.50. Call (404) 874-5299.

“CATS” will be at the Fox Theatre in Atlanta Jan. 7-11. Tickets range from $20-$54; call (404) 817-8700.

HISTORIC COLUMBIA HOUSE MUSEUM GUIDED TOURS through Jan. 4. Guided holiday tours are available every hour on the hour 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Tuesday-Saturday and 1-4 p.m. Sunday.

Admission is $5 per house for adults and $3 per house for children ages 6-17. Children under 6 and members of Historic Columbia admitted free. Combination ticket for all four houses is $18 on Saturday and Sunday. (803) 252-1770, ext. 24.

AT THE GEORGIA MUSEUM OF ART in Athens, Ga.: “Enchanting Modern: Ilonka Karasz, 1896-1981” through Feb. 8; works by Armin Landeck through Feb. 8; “Decorative Arts at Woodstock” through March. Visit www.uga.edu/gamuseum or call (706) 542-4662 for info.

“THE HOLLY AND THE IVY” holiday celebration at Biltmore Estate in Asheville, N.C., through Jan. 4. For information, call 1800-922-0046 or (828) 225-1333 or visit www.biltmore.com.

UNIVERSITY HEALTH CARE SYSTEM COMMUNITY EDUCATION holds workshops, seminars and classes on a variety of topics: weight and nutrition, women’s health, cancer, diabetes, seniors’ health and more. Suppor t groups and health screenings are also offered. Call 736-0847 for details.

“Celebration of Flight” exhibit at Fort Discovery runs through Jan. 31.

“EDWARD HOPPER AND URBAN REALISM” will be on display at the Columbia Museum of Art in Columbia, S.C., through Jan. 18. (803) 799-2810.

INTERMEDIATE MICROSOFT WORD COMPUTER TRAINING Tuesdays, Jan. 6-Feb. 10 at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 722-6275 to register.

“A SALUTE TO 25 YEARS OF THE GEORGIA MUSIC HALL OF FAME AWARDS” runs through Jan. 18 at the Georgia Music Hall of Fame in Macon, Ga. Exhibits, programs and events honoring the 25th anniversary of the Georgia Music Hall of Fame awards. Call 1-888-GA-ROCKS for info.

EXCEL COMPUTER TRAINING at the Wallace Branch Library every other Wednesday beginning Jan. 14. Registration required. Call 722-6275.

AT THE HIGH MUSEUM OF ART in Atlanta: “The Undiscovered Richard Meier: The Architect as Designer and Ar tist” through April 4; “After Whistler: The Ar tist and His Influence on American Painting” through Feb. 8; and “Verrocchio’s David Restored: A Renaissance Bronze From the National Museum of the Bargello, Florence” through Feb. 8. Call (404) 733-HIGH or visit www.high.org for information.

Benefits AUGUSTA SOUTH ROTARY CLUB SCHOLARSHIP BENEFIT FOR YOUTH CHALLENGE ACADEMY GRADUATES Jan. 22, 7 p.m., at Hillcrest Baptist Church. Tickets include spaghet ti dinner and roast of Augusta-Richmond County Commissioner Jimmy Smith. Call Sandra Gurley, 724-2601, or Susan Bly, 739-1379, for tickets.

AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL is in need of dog and cat food, cat lit ter and other pet items, as well as monetary donations to help pay for vaccinations.

Donations accepted during regular business hours, Tues.Sun., 1-5 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Call 7906836 for information.

SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER BLOOD DRIVES in various locations around the CSRA this month. For detailed information on locations and times to donate, visit www.shepeardblood.org. You may also call Susan Edwards at (803) 643-7996 for information on Aiken locations and Nancy Szocinski at 737-4551 for information on all other locations.

AMERICAN RED CROSS BLOOD DRIVES at the Aiken Red Cross Blood Center on Millbrook Drive and the Augusta Red Cross Blood Center on Pleasant Home Road. The bloodmobile will also stop at various area locations this week. For a complete list, call the Aiken Blood Center at (803) 642-5180 or the Augusta Blood Center at 868-8800.

Learning USC-AIKEN CONTINUING EDUCATION offers Italian, Ar t for Beginners, Debt-Free Living, Financial Strategies, Taming the Wild Child, Paralegal Cer tificate Course and more. Travelearn learning vacations for adults and Education to Go online courses also available. For info, phone (803) 641-3563.

“BUILDING A STRONG ORGANIZATIONAL FOUNDATION: A FRAMEWORK FOR SUCCESS” workshop by the Georgia Center for Nonprofits Jan. 14, 10 a.m.-noon at Living Word Christian Center. Cost is $15 for Georgia Center for Nonprofits members and $20 for non-members. Call 1-800959-5015 for registration information.

AUGUSTA STATE UNIVERSITY CONTINUING EDUCATION is now offering the following classes: A Prosperous Retirement, Intermediate Investing, All Things Dutch, Origami and more. Also, ASU offers online courses. For more information, call 737-1636 or visit www.ced.aug.edu.

AIKEN TECH CONTINUING EDUCATION offers the following courses: computer technology courses, healthcare courses, contractor programs, real estate courses and more. Aiken Tech also offers Education to Go classes online. For more information or to register, call (803) 593-9231, ex t. 1230.

Health “INTRODUCTION TO MEDITATION AND BUDDHISM” Tuesdays, 7-8:30 p.m., from Jan. 13-27 at the UnitarianUniversalist Church of Augusta. For details, call (803) 256-0150 or visit www.MeditationInSouthCarolina.org.

“EXPERIENCE THE CONNECTION: BREATHWORK” DISCUSSION on breathing techniques with Stephanie Servy Jan. 10, 10:30 a.m., at Sacred Space. Call (404) 550-1737 or e-mail sservy@hotmail.com for more information.

AUGUSTA RED CROSS LIFEGUARD TRAINING through Jan. 5. Par ticipants must be 15 years of age or older and able to swim. Cost is $115 and the course will be taught at the Augusta Aquatics Center. To register, call 724-8483.

AUGUSTA BRAIN INJURY SUPPORT GROUP meets the second Thursday of every month, 6 p.m., at Walton West TLC. Brain injury survivors and their family members and caregivers are invited to at tend. 737-9300.

FORE THE HEALTH OF IT ADAPTIVE GOLF CLINICS held the first Tuesday of every month at First Tee of Augusta. Physical and occupational therapists from Walton Rehabilitation Hospital will guide the course. Call 823-8691.

CHRONIC PAIN SUPPORT GROUP meets the first Thursday of every month, 10:30-11:30 a.m. at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital. 823-5294.

STROKE SUPPORT GROUP meets the last Wednesday of the month, 1-2 p.m., in the outpatient classroom at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital. 823-5213.

“USING THE PINES CATALOG” Jan. 15, 9:30 a.m., at the Friedman Branch Library. Call 736-6758 to register.

WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL AMPUTEE CLINIC for new and experienced prosthetic users meets the third Thursday of each month, 1-3 p.m. 722-1244.

CULLUM LECTURE SERIES, “South Asia: On a Tryst With Destiny,” begins Jan. 13 with 11:30 a.m. presentation on “The First Poem and the Kingdom of God on Ear th” and a 7 p.m. presentation on “Valmiki Ramayana and the Cultural Universe of Southern Asia.” All events held in Butler Hall Auditorium. Visit www.aug.edu/library/cullum2004.

WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL offers a number of health programs, including Fibromyalgia Aquatics, Water Aerobics, Wheelchair and Equipment Clinics, Theraputic Massage, Yoga, Acupuncture, Children’s Medical Services Clinic, Special Needs Safety Seat Loaner Program, Focus on Healing exercise class for breast cancer survivors and more.

Call 823-5294 for information.

BASIC MICROSOFT WORD COMPUTER TRAINING daytime Tuesdays, Jan. 13-Feb. 17, or Thursdays, Jan. 15-Feb. 19, or evenings, Thursdays, Jan. 8-Feb. 12, at the Wallace Branch Library. Registration required. 722-6275.

THE MCG BREAST CANCER SUPPORT GROUP meets the first Thursday of every month at 7 p.m. and provides education and suppor t for those with breast cancer. For information, call 721-1467.

Kids “WONDERFUL ADVENTURES OF ALICE” will be performed Jan. 14 at 9, 10 and 11 a.m. in the Maxwell Performing Ar ts Theatre. Presented by the Augusta State University Born to Read Literacy Center and Patchwork Players. Tickets are $3 per person. Call 733-7043 for more information.

FAMILY Y JANUARY SCHOOL’S OUT PROGRAMS Jan. 5 and 19 for children 5-12 years old. Activities held 9 a.m.-4 p.m. with early drop-off and late pick-up available. Daily fees are $14 per child pre-registered or $20 per child registering the day of the program. Call 738-7006.

“MOMMY AND ME” CLASS for walkers ages 12-36 months 9:45-11 a.m. Wednesdays beginning Jan. 14. Cost is $95.

Held at the Augusta Jewish Community Center. Call 228-3636.

SPANISH CLASSES at the Augusta Jewish Community Center begin Jan. 14. Open to children in grades 1-3. Cost is $95. Register by calling 228-3636.

BILINGUAL PARENTING CLASSES offered by MCG Children’s Medical Center and the University of Georgia Cooperative Ex tension Service. January topic is “Family Budgeting.” English version held 6:30-8 p.m. Jan. 13 in the conference center of the MCG Children’s Medical Center.

Spanish version held 6:30-8 p.m. Jan. 15 at the Grovetown Senior Center. Free. To register, call 721-KIDS. KINDERMUSIK CLASSES at the Augusta Jewish Community Center begin in January. Kindermusik Our Time for ages 18 months to 3 1/2 years held 11 a.m. Wednesdays, beginning Jan. 14, and is $190. Kindermusik Village for ages 0-18 months held 11:15 a.m. Mondays, beginning Jan. 12, and is $195. Register by Jan. 5 at 228-3636.

FAMILY Y HOLIDAY CAMPS held 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Jan. 2. Early drop-off and late pick-up available. Call 738-6678.

AIKEN COUNTY PONY CLUB meets weekly. Open to children of all ages who par ticipate or are interested in equestrian spor ts. For more information, contact Lisa Smith at (803) 649-3399.

FREE CAR SEAT EDUCATION CLASSES for parents and other caregivers the third Monday of every month from 9-11 a.m. at MCG Children’s Medical Center. Registration is required; those who are Medicaid or Peachcare eligible should indicate status during registration and bring a card or proof of income to class in order to receive a free car seat.

721-KIDS. GIRLS INCORPORATED OF THE CSRA AFTER-SCHOOL PROGRAM runs through May 21. Open to girls currently enrolled in kindergar ten through high school. In addition to offering specialized programs, Girls Incorporated offers van pick-up at select schools, neighborhood drop-off, homework room and a hot evening meal. For information, call 733-2512.

WEEKLY STORY SESSIONS at all branch libraries. Visit www.ecgrl.public.lib.ga.us for more information.

FIRST SATURDAY STORYTELLING at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum. In addition, there is a tour of the museum. Held 10 a.m.-noon the first Saturday of the month. Call 724-3576.

Sports FAMILY Y YOUTH SOCCER REGISTRATION Jan. 5-17 at Wheeler Branch and Marshall Branch and Feb. 23-March 12 at Southside Branch. Call 738-6678, 364-3669 or 738-6680 for details.

SPRING SOCCER LEAGUE REGISTRATION for boys and girls Jan. 5-12 at Citizens Park II in Aiken. League play begins in February, and par ticipants must be ages 5 and older as of Sept. 1, 2004. Call (803) 642-7761.

FAMILY Y WINTER AQUATICS SESSION runs Jan. 5-Feb. 14 at the Wheeler Branch indoor pool. Classes available for toddlers through adults. 738-6678.

21 M E T R O S P I R I T J A N 1 2 0 0 4

23

KARATE at the Augusta Jewish Community Center begins Jan. 12. Coed classes available for children 5-15 years old.

Cost is $150 for 12-week session. 228-3636.

M E T R O

FAMILY Y RECREATIONAL GYMNASTICS sessions held Jan. 5-March 5 and March 8-May 14. Classes available for toddlers through teens. Call 738-6678.

2004 EAST COAST SILVER GLOVES BOXING CHAMPIONSHIPS Jan. 8-10, 7 p.m., at May Park Gym. Tickets are $4 for adults and $2 for children. For additional information, call 733-7533.

S P I R I T

THE AUGUSTA FLASH FAST-PITCH TRAVEL TEAM is looking for players for the 2004 season. Players must be at least 15 years of age as of Jan. 1, 2004. For tryout information, contact Jeff Towe, 868-8485, or Vicki Parker, 854-7711.

J A N

THE AUGUSTA VOLLEYBALL ASSOCIATION is looking for new members. For more information, visit www.augustavolleyball.com.

AUGUSTA LYNX HOME GAMES Jan. 2-4, 11 and 15-17. For tickets, call 724-4423 or visit www.augustalynx.com.

THE AUGUSTA RUGBY CLUB is always looking for new members. Teams available for women and men; no experience necessary. Practice is Tuesday and Thursday nights, 79 p.m. at Richmond Academy. For more information, call Don Zuehlke, 495-2043, or e-mail augustar fc@yahoo.com.

You may also visit www.augustarugby.org.

1 2 0 0 4

Amazing phone.

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Meetings THE AUGUSTA NEWCOMERS CLUB holds a monthly coffee for prospective members the first Tuesday of each month.

Contact Ruth Pearl, 650-1400.

NORTH AUGUSTA ARTIST GUILD meets the first Tuesday of the month at 7 p.m. in the ar ts and crafts room of the Riverview Park Activities Center. For additional information, contact Yvonne Kinney, 819-9787.

THE AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF THE AMERICAN SINGLES GOLF ASSOCIATION meets the second Thursday of every month at different restaurants in the Augusta area. Open to those single, 21 and over. Call (803) 441-6741 for more information and meeting location.

After-Christmas Sale:

FREE PCS Vision Phone SM

with full-color screen and built-in speakerphone.

CSRA VW CLUB meets every First Friday at Six th and Reynolds Streets, behind the Train Depot. New Beetles welcome. Visit www.csravwclub.org.

After $150 instant savings with in-store purchase and activation of a new line of service on a PCS Free & Clear Plan with PCS Vision.SM

THE AUGUSTA SKI AND OUTING CLUB meets the fist Tuesday of every month in the Alamo Room at Lone Star on Washington Road. The nex t meeting is scheduled for Jan. 6 at 7 p.m. Call (803) 279-6186.

Phone activation fee waived for a limited time!

reg. $149.99 Excluding taxes. PCS Vision Phone 4900 by Sanyo®

THE AUGUSTA METRO CHAMBER OF COMMERCE AND THE COLUMBIA COUNTY CHAMBER OF COMMERCE ANNUAL MEETING with Sonny Perdue Jan. 8 at the Radission Riverfront Hotel. Registration and seating begins at 11:30 a.m. with lunch from 11:45 a.m.-1:30 p.m. Tickets are $30 per person or $300 for a corporate table. Call Elizabeth Donsbach at 821-1324 for information and tickets.

“THE POWER OF NOW” BOOK STUDY GROUP meets Jan. 4 at 9:30 a.m. For more information, call 667-8734.

GUIDELINES: Public service announcements are listed in this section without charge at the discretion of the editor.

Announcements must be received by Monday at noon and will be included as space permits. Send to Events, Metro Spirit, P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914 or fax (706) 733-6663. You may also e-mail listings to rhonda.jones@metrospirit.com or lisa.jordan@metrospirit.com. Listings cannot be taken over the phone.

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Offer only available at Sprint Stores and select locations listed below.

Trade-in Credit & Donation to Sprint Project Connect When you trade in any active handset from a wireless service provider other than Sprint, you will receive a $30 trade-in credit, and your phone will be donated to Sprint Project Connect. Through Sprint Project Connect, donated wireless phones are either recycled or resold with 100% of net proceeds going to charity. The Wireless Foundation shares the net proceeds with Easter Seals and the National Organization on Disability (N.O.D.). $30 service credit will be applied by your third monthly bill. Offer only available at Sprint Stores and select locations listed below.

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AUGUSTA National Hills Shopping Center 2701 Washington Rd. (706) 396-7200 M – Fri. 10am-7pm Sat. 10am-6pm

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Nationwide network reaches over 240 million people. Offers subject to change. See stores for details. Terms and conditions apply. Subject to credit. Phone availability may vary by location. Instant Savings: Requires in-store purchase of a new Sanyo 4900 with activation on a new line of PCS Vision service by 2/14/04. Savings cannot exceed total purchase price of phone. BLOCKBUSTER GiftCard Offer: $50 GiftCard available with in-store purchase and activation of any new PCS handset with a two-year PCS Advantage Agreement. GiftCard not available with PCS Add-A-Phone. Limit one GiftCard per customer. Offer valid while supplies last. Offer expires 12/31/03. Membership rules and certain restrictions apply for rentals if applicable.

GiftCards cannot be used to purchase GiftCards. GiftCards redeemable at participating stores. Use of GiftCards is subject to terms and conditions printed on packaging and back of GiftCards. BLOCKBUSTER® name, design, and related marks are trademarks of Blockbuster Inc. ©2003 Blockbuster Inc. All rights reserved. Offer excludes (1) any DVD boxsets that consist of 3 or more discs or are priced higher than $29.99 and (2) any previously rented movies or games for sale. Trade-in Credit: $30 trade-in credit available when an active handset from a competitive wireless carrier is traded in for activation on a PCS Phone. Trade-in credit received will apply to the purchase of a PCS Phone from Sprint and is not to exceed total purchase price of phone. Credit will be applied by your third monthly bill. PCS Vision: PCS Vision Packs are limited to Sprint Vision-enabled PCS Phones and are not available with any device used as a modem. Additional charges for premium content apply.

Service Plan: Subject to credit. $150 early termination fee applies to each line. $36 phone activation fee waived through 12/31/03 at the above listed Augusta locations only. A deposit may be required. Copyright ©2003 Sprint Spectrum L.P. All rights reserved. Sprint and the diamond logo are trademarks of Sprint Communications Company L.P.

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M E T R O S P I R I T J A N 1 2 0 0 4

Arts: Entertainment

Good News and Bad on Local Music Horizon

By Rhonda Jones

T

he American Chamber Players are coming to town, courtesy of the Harry Jacobs Chamber Music Society.

And this is a group with a lot of musical credits under their belt. For one thing, they have toured all over North America, performing pieces from the stuff you expect to hear from a classical ensemble to more obscure works that you may not have heard of until you sit in an American Chamber Players audience, to new American works.

For Augusta, they will play works by Beethoven, Mahler, Villa-Lobos and Faure.

As for press, the group has quite a list of comments from significant newspapers, including the The Post and The Times, according to materials provided by the Harry Jacobs Chamber Music Society. The Washington Post has called them “An extraordinarily talented group who play beautifully together,” and said this of them: “They have established standards of chamber music performance equal to any in the world.”

The New York Times has called them “One of the finest chamber ensembles in the country … markedly superior, especially in beauty of tone, near flawless intonation and sensitivity to each other’s playing.”

Here is what The Baltimore Sun had to say about them: “One had to admire not only the courage of their programming, but also their performances, which were intense, passionate and accurate … The playing of the string players was opulent in tone, uninhibited in expression and driving in rhythm.”

Impressive, huh?

The ensemble — which includes piano, violin, viola and cello — has recorded Mozart, Bruch, Bloch, Stravinsky, Harbison and Rochberg, for international distribution on the Koch International Classics label. It had its birth in 1985, forming from a group of artists from The Library of Congress Summer Chamber Festival, and is the brain child of violist Miles Hoffman.

Hoffman, who is founder and artistic

Photo courtesy of Harry Jacobs Chamber Music Society

24

The American Chamber Players with Miles Hoffman

“One of the finest chamber ensembles in the country … markedly superior, especially in beauty of tone, near flawless intonation and sensitivity to each other’s playing.”

— The New York Times director of the group, is a prize-winning musician, having taken home awards from the National Arts Club and from Washington International competitions. He debuted at a recital in New York in 1979, and founded The Library of Congress Summer Chamber Festival, directing it for nine years. In addition to those successes, he had a musical commentary called “Coming to Terms” played weekly throughout the U.S. for 13 years on the popular radio show “Performance Today”

Thanks Augusta! for voting us Best Bread AGAIN this year"

on National Public Radio. He is also music commentator for NPR’s news program “Morning Edition.”

Pianist Jean-Louis Haguenaur has performed throughout Europe and the U.S., and has even added China to his list, having gone over to perform and teach at the request of the Chinese government. He is a native Frenchman, and has performed in many important concert series there, in addition to participating in many summer festivals in Europe and the U.S., including

the Festival of Les Arcs and the Library of Congress Summer Chamber Festival.

Violinist Joanna Maurer has performed throughout the U.S. and in many interesting places in Europe, including Germany, Austria and the Czech Republic. She is also a prize-winning musician, and can boast of prizes on the E. Nakamichi Violin Competition, the Denver Young Artist Orchestra Competition, the Young Musicians Foundation Competition and the National MTNA Selmer Competition.

Cellist Inbal Segev-Brenner made critically acclaimed debuts with the Israel Philharmonic and Berlin Philharmonic Orchestras. In fact, according to press statements, she has performed with all of the major Israeli orchestras, in addition to other honors and projects.

And finally, Sara Stern was solo flutist of the 20th Century Consort, in residence at the Smithsonian Institute in Washington, D.C. She has also given solo recitals in the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts, Carnegie Recital Hall as well as other concert halls around the country, and performed as guest artist with the Emerson String Quartet.

These distinguished musicians will appear in Augusta at 8 p.m. Jan. 9 at the ASU Performing Arts Theatre, preceded at 7:15 by a talk by Hoffman. Tickets are at the door for $20 for adults and $5 for kids 6 and over. Younger kids will not be admitted. Call (706) 736-9098.

Augusta Jazz Project Ends Citing circumstances beyond the group’s control, Augusta Jazz Project director Rudy Volkmann has issued a statement to inform patrons and friends that the jazz ensemble will not be able to complete their scheduled season for 2003-04, and disbanded effective December 2003. He did say, however, that selected Chamber Jazz concerts may be performed in the coming months, and promised updates in the future regarding those concerts.

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25 M E T R O S P I R I T

“Paycheck”

J A N

Movie Listings

2 0 0 4

ed Confederate soldier Inman (Jude Law) trudges back home to Cold Mountain, N.C. Waiting for him, he hopes, is the woman he briefly knew, Ada (Nicole Kidman), the polished daughter of a preacher (Donald Sutherland). It's their unrequited love that draws Inman back, along with the land, and that keeps Ada going as she learns how to survive in the almost lawless country. Pushed along by old tunes that burr and rasp in the "O Brother, Where Ar t Thou?" mode, the movie has rhy thm, but it overall feels like just one darn hard day af ter another. Cast: Jude Law, Nicole Kidman, Renee Zellweger, Brendan Gleeson, Natalie Por tman, Philip Seymour Hof fman, Donald Sutherland, Giovanni Ribisi.

Running time: 2 hrs., 21 mins. (Elliot t) ★★1/2 Elf (PG) — Years ago, a human boy was adopted by one of Santa’s elves af ter sneaking a ride back to the Nor th Pole in Santa’s bag of presents. Now he’s fully grown, his height and clumsy nature impeding his duties in the workshop. He decides it’s time to travel to the human world and search for his family. Taking a job as a depar tment store Elf, he inspires humans to believe in Santa Claus. Cast: Will Ferrell, James Caan, Zooey Deschanel, Bob Newhar t, Mary Steenburgen.

The Fighting Temptations (PG-13) — Cuba Gooding Jr. plays Darrin, a junior adver tising exec with secrets. He's nearly broke and he lied on his resume to get his job. Then the worst-case scenario happens: His deception is discovered after he helps to land a major account for the company. Then he learns that his Aunt Sally has passed away and he's expected to at tend her funeral as her last surviving relative. Darrin learns that he'll gain a huge inheritance if he whips the church choir into shape in time for a gospel contest. This is where "The Fighting Temptations" falls into the pit of stupidity.

What saves the movie from being a total stinker is the music. As for Gooding, he seems to have confused charm and enthusiasm for acting. Cast: Cuba Gooding Jr., Beyonce Knowles, Mike Epps, Melba Moore, Angie Stone, The O'Jays, Montell Jordan and Rue McClanahan.

Running time: 1 hr., 28 mins. (McCormick) ★★ Freaky Friday (PG) — It’s the updated version of the ‘70s film, starring Jamie Lee Cur tis as a frazzled

Miramax Pictures

“Cold Mountain”

RATINGS

★★★★ — Excellent.

Paramount Pictures

Bad Santa (R) — For very jaded kids and adults already sick of the holiday season but needing a cup of bile nog. If that is you, there is amusing alienation from Billy Bob Thornton as an alcoholic thief and cranky depar tment store Santa, Tony Cox as his rancid "elf" and Bernie Mac, Cloris Leachman and the late John Rit ter, directed with zip plot but a jingle of crass flippancy by Terry "Crumb" Zwigof f. Running time: 1 hr., 33 mins. (Elliot t) ★★1/2 The Cat in the Hat (PG) — This bulldozing movie has about as much to do with Dr. Seuss’ wit ty and impressively drawn kids' books as Adam Sandler has with Molière. It's a brash defilement of Geisel's most famous work, yet so compulsively cheery that people might try to ignore the obvious. Mike Myers plays the Cat in a big hat and costume of fake fur that stifles his amusing features. He's supposed to be the spirit of wild, impish fun, helping lif t the depressed scamp Conrad (pudgy, likable Spencer Breslin) and his control-freak sister, Sally (Dakota Fanning), a dwar fish total woman who star ts of f each day by making a list.

Director Bo Welch's technique is to just keep hurling (both senses of the word apply). His tireless approach is astoundingly tiresome. Cast: Mike Myers, Dakota Fanning, Alec Baldwin, Spencer Breslin, Kelly Preston.

Running time: 1 hr., 32 mins. (Elliot t) ★ Cheaper by the Dozen (PG) — To make an old (1950) Clif ton Webb comedy without Clif ton Webb is a serious loss, but get ting Steve Mar tin — a vanillashaked version of Webb's snappish fussiness — is not a bad idea for "Cheaper by the Dozen." He's engaging as Tom Baker, football coach and father of 12 kids.

Bonnie Hunt plays the wife and mom, Kate, looking awfully good despite the wear. The Bakers have a great life in a small town where Tom coaches, but he's hired to go to a bigger team outside Chicago, and the only story is the stress on the family from their move. The film is simple and obvious and plastic, but diver ting.

Designed to be fluf f, it's fluf fy all the time. Cast: Steve Mar tin, Bonnie Hunt, Piper Perabo, Hilary Duf f, Richard Jenkins. Running time: 1 hr., 34 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Cold Mountain (R) — Sick of the war, the wound-

1

mom and Lindsay Lohan as her rebellious teen-age daughter. The two are constantly arguing and both wish they could be someone else. When their wish comes true and the two end up switching bodies, they have to find a way back to their normal selves – before Mom walks down the aisle again. Cast: Jamie Lee Cur tis, Lindsay Lohan, Mark Harmon, Christina Vidal.

The Haunted Mansion (PG) — Another movie based on a ride at Disneyland, again featuring cheesy, story-altering references to the rides, as well as plots about ghosts and curses. Eddie Murphy is a workaholic real estate agent and a smooth-talking sleazebag. A promising real-estate deal turns out to be more than he bargains for, and his eagerness to scope out a house on the way to a family vacation leaves his entire family stranded at a creepy, cobweb-ridden Louisiana mansion with a curse. The result is a movie that, while consistently amusing, plays like a hackneyed ef for t to stretch a few minutes of ride into a coherent, hour-anda-half story. Running time: 1 hr., 39 mins. (Fu) ★★ Honey (PG-13) — Like having the fluids drained out of your system and replaced by a sugar-loaded, mixed-drink concoction of a color not found in nature.

Honey Daniels (Jessica Alba) bar tends, dances and teaches hip-hop dance at a youth center. Discovered, she makes a fast splash as a music-video dancer and choreographer. There are jolts of energy from occasional moments of hip-hop frenzy, but the editing is so rapid-fire that what appears on the screen looks more like a video game than dance. Will Honey remember her old pals in the 'hood? Why, yes. First "Radio," now this; uplif t has never seemed so enervating. Running time: 1 hr., 28 mins. (Salm) ★1/2 In America (PG-13) — A young Irish family immigrates to America and set tles in a tenement in New York City. For the parents, life in America is a constant struggle, but their two daughters see the new country as a magical place. A chance encounter with a mysterious neighbor may change everyone’s outlook.

Cast: Paddy Considine, Samantha Mor ton, Djimon Hounsou, Sarah Bolger, Emma Bolger.

The Last Samurai (R) — Tom Cruise stars as Nathan Algren, a heroic Civil War veteran and then embit tered cavalry man, reduced to heavy drinking and shilling for a gun company. Algren goes to Japan, paid to train the new imperial army in modern ways and weapons. But he finds himself drawn to the insurgent cause and almost idyllic life in the hills of samurai leader Katsumoto (Watanabe), who fights for the old ways and hopes to win over the adolescent emperor from greedy modernists. Having come to teach, Algren stays to learn. He is captured af ter impressing Katsumoto with his fighting spirit; the "barbarian" has a tiger within. "The Last Samurai" bides its time, has a predictable plot, but

★★★— Worthy.

★★ — Mixed.

★ — Poor.

gives pleasure of a sustained kind. Cast: Tom Cruise, Ken Watanabe, Tony Goldwyn, Timothy Spall, Koyuki.

Running time: 2 hrs., 24 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★

Looney Tunes: Back in Action (PG) —

Director Joe Dante's hip game plan is a double-decker: one deck of enter tainment for kids (and teens who don't scof f at kids' movies), another for the grown, if not greatly more adult, viewers. Brendan Frasier stars with Bugs Bunny, Daf fy Duck and the stable of Warner Bros. car toon characters. Joining Frasier are Timothy Dalton, Joan Cusack, Jenna Elfman, and Locklear and Steve Mar tin as the mastermind villian. Running time: 1 hr., 32 mins. (Elliot) ★★★

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (PG-13) — lasts 200 minutes, and some of

those are long minutes. The last 20 can feel like an hour, for clearly creator Peter Jackson didn't wish to let his saga go. Bernard Hill, Viggo Mor tensen and Orlando Bloom are impressive fighters, and Cate Blanchet t makes a gorgeous Galadriel. This is posing, not acting. Sir Ian McKellen acts very well as noble Gandalf, but lines about hear t, courage and fate make him Lord For tune Cookie. "Lord" is all epic, all the time. Jackson loves bat tles, which means hurling dense masses of mostly computerized fighters at one another. If the clima x bat tle this time is more overpowering than the Helm's Deep boggler in "Two Towers," does it truly deepen the story? Maybe it is just more spectacle, as clima xes are stacked high and then the epic winds down with Elijah Wood as Frodo (now mildly matured) exiting sweetly, his destiny done.

Cast: Ian McKellen, Elijah Wood, Cate Blanchet t, Viggo Mor tensen, Ian Holm, Orlando Bloom, Sean Astin.

Running time: 3 hrs., 20 mins. ★★ Love Actually (R) — opens and closes with people hugging and kissing at London's Heathrow Airpor t. In between, you might yearn to fly away. Top confet ti is the prime minister: Hugh Grant with his sweetly sly grace, but so impishly weightless he seems fit to lead a croquet match, not a nation. Meanwhile, Colin Fir th is recovering from his wife's infidelity by slowly cour ting a Por tuguese housekeeper (Lucia Moniz); sulky Alan Rickman fondles the idea of cheating on his dear, sane wife (Emma Thompson); Liam Neeson, recovering from his wife's death, encourages the puppy love of his kid (Tom Sangster). This giggle-fest is a spree of gag situations, maudlin moments and aggressive pop tunes. If you like Christmas goose stuffed with sequins, don't forget the chutney Spam with a warm side of chips. Cast: Hugh Grant, Bill Nighy, Emma Thompson, Colin Fir th, Laura Linney, Keira Knightley, Rowan Atkinson, Alan Rickman. Running time: 2 hrs., 8 mins. (Elliot t) ★1/2

0— Not worthy.

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MOVIE CLOCK REGAL AUGUSTA EXCHANGE 20 Movies Good 1/2 - 1/8 Win a Date With Tad Hamilton (PG-13) Fri: 7:00 Cold Mountain (R) 10:30, 11:00, 3:00, 3:30, 6:45, 7:25, 10:05, 10:40 In America (PG-13) 1:00, 3:20, 5:45, 8:10, 10:40 Paycheck (PG-13) 10:35, 11:05, 1:20, 1:50, 4:05, 4:45, 7:20, 7:50, 10:10, 10:35 Peter Pan (PG) Fri-Sat: 10:00, 11:40, 1:00, 2:20, 3:50, 5:20, 6:50, 9:30, 12:15; Sun-Thur: 10:00, 11:40, 1:00, 2:20, 3:50, 5:20, 6:50, 9:30 Mona Lisa Smile (PG-13) Fri: 11:30, 2:15, 4:55, 7:45, 8:05, 10:30, 10:45; Sat-Thur: 11:30, 2:15, 4:55, 7:45, 8:10, 10:30, 10:45 Cheaper by the Dozen (PG) Fri-Sat: 10:05, 10:35, 12:30, 1:30, 2:55, 4:30, 5:20, 7:15, 7:45, 9:45, 10:20, 12:20; Sun-Thur: 10:05, 10:35, 12:30, 1:30, 2:55, 4:30, 5:20, 7:15, 7:45, 9:45, 10:20 Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (PG13) Fri-Sat: 10:20, 10:50, 11:50, 2:40, 3:10, 4:10, 7:00, 7:30, 8:00, 8:30, 11:20; Sun-Thur: 10:20, 10:50, 11:50, 2:40, 3:10, 4:10, 7:00, 7:30, 8:00, 8:30 Stuck on You (PG-13) 4:40, 10:50 Something’s Gotta Give (PG-13) 12:40, 3:45, 7:10, 9:55 Love Don’t Cost a Thing (PG-13) 12:00, 2:30, 5:10, 7:55, 10:20 The Last Samurai (R) 11:55, 3:30, 7:05, 10:15 Honey (PG-13) Fri: 12:10; Sat: 7:50, 10:10, 12:35; Sun-Thur: 7:50, 10:10 Haunted Mansion (PG) 10:00, 12:15, 2:25, 4:40 Bad Santa (R) Fri-Sat: 12:10, 2:35, 5:05, 7:45, 10:00, 12:20; Sun-Thur: 12:10, 2:35, 5:05, 7:45, 10:00 Master and Commander (PG-13) 1:15, 7:40 Elf (PG) Fri: 10:00, 12:25, 3:05; Sat-Thur: 10:00, 12:45, 3:05, 5:25 EVANS 14 CINEMAS Movies Good 1/2 - 1/8 Win a Date With Tad Hamilton (PG-13) Fri: 7:00 Cold Mountain (R) Fri-Mon: 1:50, 5:40, 9:00; Tues-Thur: 5:40, 9:00 Peter Pan (PG) Fri-Mon: 12:10, 2:30, 4:50, 7:10, 9:45; Tues-Thur: 4:50, 7:10, 9:45 Paycheck (PG-13) Fri-Mon: 1:15, 3:50, 7:20, 10:00; Tues-Thur: 3:55, 7:20, 10:00 Mona Lisa Smile (PG-13) Fri-Mon: 2:50, 4:00, 6:40, 9:20; Tues-Thur: 4:00, 6:40, 9:20 Cheaper by the Dozen (PG) Fri-Mon: 12:00, 1:00, 2:20, 3:20, 4:40, 5:50, 7:00, 8:15, 9:25; Tues-Thur: 4:40, 5:50, 7:00, 8:15, 9:25 Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (PG13) Fri-Sun: 11:30, 12:30, 1:30, 3:30, 4:30,

5:30, 7:30, 8:30, 9:30; Mon: 12:30, 1:30, 3:30, 4:30, 5:30, 7:30, 8:30, 9:30; Tues-Thur: 4:30, 5:30, 7:30, 8:30, 9:30 Stuck on You (PG-13) 6:30, 9:10 Something’s Gotta Give (PG-13) Fri-Mon: 1:20, 4:20, 6:50, 9:40; Tues-Thur: 4:20, 6:50, 9:40 The Last Samurai (R) Fri-Mon: 2:00, 5:20, 8:45; Tues-Thur: 5:20, 8:45 The Haunted Mansion (PG) Fri-Mon: 12:20, 3:10; Tues-Thur: 3:55 Bad Santa (R) 7:50, 9:55 The Cat in the Hat (PG) Fri-Mon: 1:10, 3:00, 5:10; Tues-Thur: 5:10 Elf (PG) Fri: 12:40, 2:50, 5:00, 9:50; Sat-Mon: 12:40, 2:50, 5:00, 7:40, 9:50; Tues-Thur: 5:00, 7:40, 9:50 MASTERS 7 CINEMAS Movies Good 1/2 - 1/8 Cheaper by the Dozen (PG) Fri-Sun: 1:15, 3:15, 5:15, 7:30, 9:45; Mon: 1:15, 3:15, 5:15, 7:30; Tues-Thur: 5:15, 7:30 Paycheck (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 1:20, 4:20, 7:00, 9:25; Mon: 1:20, 4:20, 7:00; Tues-Thur: 4:20, 7:00 Peter Pan (PG) Fri-Sun: 1:45, 4:45, 7:15, 9:35; Mon: 1:45, 4:45, 7:15; Tues-Thur: 4:45, 7:15 Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (PG-13) Fri-Mon: 12:00, 4:00, 8:00; Tues-Thur: 4:00, 8:00 Mona Lisa Smile (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 1:00, 3:45, 6:55, 9:30; Mon: 1:00, 3:45, 6:55; Tues-Thur: 3:45, 6:55 Something’s Gotta Give (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 12:30, 4:15, 7:05, 9:35; Mon: 12:30, 4:15, 7:05; Tues-Thur: 4:15, 7:05 Love Don’t Cost a Thing (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 7:10, 9:20; Mon-Thur: 7:10 The Last Samurai (R) Fri-Mon: 12:15, 3:50; Tues-Thur: 3:50 REGAL 12 CINEMAS Movies Good 1/2 - 1/8 Underworld (R) 1:55, 4:25, 7:00, 9:30 Under the Tuscan Sun (PG-13) 2:15, 4:40, 7:25, 9:40 Scary Movie 3 (PG-13) 2:45, 4:55, 7:45, 9:55 Love Actually (R) 2:20, 5:10, 7:55 Looney Tunes (PG) 2:40, 5:05, 7:15, 9:25 School of Rock (PG-13) 2:10, 4:30, 7:20, 9:35 Radio (PG) 2:05, 4:30, 7:00, 9:30 Brother Bear (G) 2:35, 4:35, 7:10, 9:20 Out of Time (PG-13) 2:25, 4:45, 7:30, 9:50 Freak y Friday (PG) 2:30, 4:50, 7:40, 9:55 The Fighting Temptations (PG-13) 1:55, 4:30, 7:05, 9:45 Pirates of the Caribbean (PG-13) 2:00, 5:00, 7:50

Movie listings are subject to change without notice.

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Love Don’t Cost a Thing (PG-13) — “Love Don’t Cost a Thing” is a remake of the 1987 teen comedy “Can’t Buy Me Love.” An unpopular geek blackmails a cheerleader into posing as his girlfriend in an at tempt to improve his reputation. Cast: Nick Cannon, Christina Milian, Vanessa Bell Calloway, Kal Penn, Steve Harvey, Kenan Thompson.

Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (PG-13) — The best film yet about men

fighting at sea under sail. Two of Patrick O'Brian's books have been beautifully transposed into a cogent and moving tale of the Napoleonic Wars. Capt. Aubrey (Russell Crowe) and his friend Dr. Maturin (Paul Bet tany) bond tightly despite amusing frictions and lead through storm and shot a stout crew against a French ship larger and bet ter built. It all fits and works like good seamanship, under Peter Weir's direction, manly without fakery.

Running time: 2 hr., 19 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★★ Mona Lisa Smile (PG-13) — Julia Rober ts has no Mona Lisa smile — enigmatic coyness isn't in her range — but her big, horsey grin flashes its horse sense and beaming charm through much of "Mona Lisa Smile," and viewers can smile in return. She plays Katherine Watson, a "Bohemian from California" who in 1953 comes to Wellesley College to teach ar t history.

Katherine is, of course, a Pacific breeze, a progressive, star tled to find that her class has mastered the curriculum tex t before her arrival. She quickly teaches the "girls" to stop being rote drones and confront a grand new Jackson Pollock, the holy grail of Ike Era modernism.

The movie has pinches of ar t history, but takes more time with Katherine's love life. Cast: Julia Rober ts, Kirsten Dunst, Julia Stiles, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Constance Baker, Ginnifer Goodwin, Dominic West, Marcia Gay Harden. Running time: 1 hr., 57 mins. ★★1/2 Out of Time (PG-13) — John Billingsley stars as Chae, a drunken wiseguy and pathologist who trades corkers with Police Chief Mat t Whitlock (Denzel Washington), who sloshes through his latest case. The chief is suddenly the big suspect in a double murder caused by arson, af ter his incriminating, illicit af fair with past girlfriend Anne (Sanaa Lathan). Whitlock hustles through a hot day covering up the clues that point to him, while the main detective sleuthing his trail is his vampy, almost ex-wife, Alex (Eva Mendes). Dynamic, but obsessively remote from reality, "Out of Time" is like a drive-in movie for a car junkyard. Cast: Denzel Washington, Sanaa Lathan, Dean Cain, Eva Mendes.

Running time: 1 hr., 54 mins. (Elliot t) ★1/2 Paycheck (PG-13) — Ben Af fleck is a computer genius who gets his memory wiped af ter a secret, three-year project, then finds himself cheated of the $92 million payof f from creepy CEO Aaron Eckhar t.

But Ben lef t behind a kit of clues, and he's put them together, despite the big memory lapse. He even got a state lot tery payof f for himself to compensate for the lost loot. And try to believe in Uma Thurman as tagalong Rachel, trying to inser t some emotions between the clacking wheels of plot. At times, you may believe the script's memory has been evaporated. If whole pages are gone, or hurled together in a lot tery numbers bin, would we much notice, or care? Cast: Ben Af fleck, Uma Thurman, Aaron Eckhar t, Paul Giamat ti.

Running time: 1 hr. 50 min. (Elliot t) ★1/2 Peter Pan (PG) — P.J. Hogan's film is like a cyberized revamp of Disney, but every thing is brighter, fuller, glitzier, with live actors and lots of mat ted ef fects. Capt. Hook's pirate ship is a vir tual theme park awaiting customers. The feared crocodile seems to be from some Jurassic park. Clouds are so pink and cot ton-candied you expect Peter and the others to get stuck in them. The magic can get a lit tle ballistic.

It's a remarkably sensual film. The action scenes are amusingly zest ful, Peter is adorable but not too cute, the pirates are a spry bunch of uglies, but it's the characters connecting emotionally that makes "Peter Pan" fly. For kids, the movie is a sure thing. Cast: Jason Isaacs, Jeremy Sumpter, Rachel Hurd-Wood, Lynn Redgrave, Olivia Williams, Richard Briars.

Running time: 1 hr., 32 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (PG-13) — The movie will be a

shocker for anyone expecting watery gruel ex tracted from a Disneyland-ride base. This "Pirates of the Caribbean" is an original, with clever plot ting, some rapierlike dialogue and a scurvy crew of first-rate second bananas. When the Black Pearl, the invincible pirate ship commanded by the dread Capt. Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) storms Por t Royal and kidnaps Elizabeth (Keira Knightly), the governor's beautiful daughter, what can her secret admirer, the lowly blacksmith Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), do but go af ter her?

He's forced to team up with the immensely unreliable Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp). The movie lies becalmed when Depp/Sparrow is absent; when he's on screen, it's a rousing good time. Since he's on screen a good par t of the time, that makes "Pirates of the Caribbean" a rousing good movie. Arrrrr! Cast: Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightly, Jonathan Pryce. Running time: 2 hrs., 14 mins. (Salm) ★★★

Radio (PG) — Ed Harris is Harold Jones, the coach

of the high school football team in a small South Carolina town. Coach Jones takes pity on James (Cuba Gooding Jr.), a mentally handicapped young man who mutely pushes his shopping car t past the practice field every day, and makes him a kind of team, then school, mascot. Nicknamed Radio, he melts the hear t of almost everyone he encounters. A few antagonists enter and exit periodically. The schmaltz-intolerant would be wise simply to Fed-Ex seven bucks and a vial of tears directly to Columbia Pictures. Cast: Cuba Gooding Jr. Ed Harris, Brent Sex ton, Riley Smith. Running time: 1 hr., 46 mins.

(Salm) ★1/2 Scary Movie 3 (PG-13) — The third film in the “Scary Movie” series once again spoofs a series of recent horror hits, fantasy epic films and other pop culture sensations, including “8 Mile,” “The Matrix,” “The Ring,” “The Others” and “Signs.” Cast: David Zucker, Anna Faris, Charlie Sheen, Regina Hall, Denise Richards.

The School of Rock (PG-13) — Jack Black, having learned a few things about rocking from singing and playing guitar in his band, Tenacious D, is a wannabe rock star named Dewey Finn who stumbles into a substitute teaching job. In between his outbursts of hair-metal singing and energetic dancing, he teaches his class of private school fif th graders the impor tance of self-confidence and "sticking it to the man," while he, in turn, learns what it means to be a team player. At times, the film comes close to comedic mediocrity but, like its characters, is saved by rock 'n' roll. Cast: Jack Black, Joan Cusack, Mike White, Sarah Silverman. Running time: 1 hr., 48 mins. (Fu) ★★★ Something’s Gotta Give (PG-13) — Jack Nicholson plays with his cruising wolf image and his age (66), spor ting with them as compulsive single Harry Langer. Harry's latest find for a fling is svelte Marin (Amanda Peet), an auctioneer who treats him like a lusty antique. They go to her divorced parents' beach house. But when he meets mother Erica (Keaton), a playwright, the awkward moments quiver.

Harry has a sudden hear t crisis. He ends up stuck for a night with Erica. What happens is silly, knowing, wit ty, touching and abet ted def tly by a terrific score.

When someone says of Erica's new play, "It's sweet, it's smar t, it's funny," that serves as a review of the movie. Critics should be pleased to echo it. Cast: Jack Nicholson, Diane Keaton, Keanu Reeves, Frances McDormand, Amanda Peet. Running time: 1 hr., 47 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★★ Stuck on You (PG-13) — The movie is like a Pez machine dispensing pellets of gags about being "conjoined twins," as they fear and hate the term Siamese twins: "We're not Siamese!" No, they're the dif ferent-looking, but joined Bob (Mat t Damon), the quiet one, and Walt (Greg Kinnear), the "on" one.

United by gut flab and a shared liver, they work in a burger joint. But Walt has giddy acting aspirations. So they go to Hollywood. Kinnear has rumpled lightness as this show guy who just happens to have a 160pound brother to haul around like a talking tumor, while Damon sulks and frets, perhaps pondering why his other half isn't Ben Af fleck. None of this is awful — it has a brisk spirit of whimsy — but it all runs in a very narrow groove. Cast: Mat t Damon, Greg Kinnear, Eva Mendes, Cher, Wen Yann Shih, Seymour Cassel, Meryl Streep. Running time: 1 hr., 45 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Under the Tuscan Sun (PG-13) — is based on Frances Mayes' book, a hit memoir of the Bay Area professor's seasonal life in Tuscany, refurbishing an old villa. Diane Lane plays Frances, always lovely and loveable even when in the grim throes of divorce. She makes a new life in Italy, empowered for the adventure by a lesbian friend (Sandra Oh) in San Francisco. In the book, Frances deepens gradually as the old house is remade, and the estate, food, wine and people saturate her spirit. But it's a dif ficult book to film. "Under the Tuscan Sun" suf fers the sunburn of radioactive pret tiness. This is la dolce vapid. Cast: Diane Lane, Sandra Oh, Raoul Bova, Lindsay Duncan, Vincent Riot ta. Running time: 1 hr., 52 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Underworld (R) — For centuries, a bat tle has been raging between vampires, sophisticated city dwellers, and Lycans, werewolf street thugs.

“Underworld” is a Gothic twist on “Romeo and Juliet,” chronicling the pit falls of young love between a vampire (Kate Beckinsale) and a Lycan (Scot t Speedman).

Cast: Kate Beckinsale, Danny McBride, Scot t Speedman, Bill Nighy, Michael Sheen.

Win a Date With Tad Hamilton (PG-13) —

When a teenage girl wins a contest in which the grand prize is a chance to date Hollywood’s most eligible bachelor, she finds herself in a love triangle with him and her best friend.

—Capsules compiled from movie reviews written by David Elliott, film critic for The San Diego Union-Tribune and other staff writers.

Cinema: Review

27

Movie Round-Up 2003

S P I R I T

M E T R O

By Rachel Deahl

J A N 1 2 0 0 4

Lord of the Rings: Return of the King

T

here’s a tendency, at least among critics, to bemoan the lack of great films to come out every year, an outcry that is often heard right about now. And while each year often feels like it does yield a less impressive crop of films than the one before, 2003 has been particularly abysmal. As the studios prepare to unleash their final batch of Oscar contenders and the top 10 lists start rolling out, I struggled at length to put together my own list.

Before getting to the list itself, a few things should be noted. First of all, I haven’t seen all of the films to come out in 2003 and, as such, my list isn’t totally impartial. Among the more notable films I haven’t had a chance to see are "Mystic River" and "The Last Samurai," films that I suspect might have had a good chance of landing on this list. (I especially say this of "Mystic River" which, in most respects, I hope lives up to the critical hype since there have been so few excellent films to see this year.)

There are still other films that also look like they might raise the critical bar. "Girl with a Pearl Earring," "Big Fish," "Monster" and "The Company" all were released closer to Christmas day (some of them on the 25th) and any of them may prove to be excellent. But then again, who knows? Of the aforementioned films, I am fascinated with "The Company," a Robert Altman directed film that follows a ballet company. The film hasn’t gotten much press or attention, but Altman proved that he may have a few excellent films still in him after his well done 2001 hit, "Gosford Park."

So, before getting to the list, I have to reiterate how hard it was to find 10 films that I could, in good faith, count among the best of the year. In the end, I couldn’t find 10 — I found nine. And, among those nine, most are pictures that would probably never have made it onto any other "best of" lists I have (or will) compile. I enjoyed all of these films but few of them affected me profoundly. In the end, this list may point to the futility of exercises like this; that, and the overwhelming fact that Hollywood is still perilously trying to make films without taking risks and, in so doing, minimizing the opportunity for great art to peek through. Nonetheless, here goes … in no particular order.

Finding Nemo Lord of the Rings: Return of the King Peter Jackson’s cherry on his cinematic sundae, so to speak, is another wondrous achievement. Rife with dazzling effects and battle scenes, the film retains and expands upon the magic captured in Jackson’s first two films in the LOTR trilogy, especially the second. Jackson may just take home Oscar gold, too, for laudably wrapping up his costly, lengthy fantasy masterpiece.

Bad Santa Essentially a one-joke film, Terry Zwigoff’s R-rated Scrooge tale happens to be hung on a very funny single joke: Billy Bob Thornton playing a foul-mouthed, alcoholic, department-store Santa. Although the film isn’t much more than a subverted holiday fable, Thornton is hilarious as an ex-con who dons a Saint Nick suit every Christmas so he and his partner (a dwarf who suits up like his "little helper") can rob the company safe. That said, if the sight of Thornton urinating on himself and barking obscenities at the little tikes in "Santa’s village" doesn’t sound funny to you, then you should probably check out John Favreau’s kid-friendly holiday film, "Elf," instead.

that asks compelling questions about the issue of responsibility in politics. A very interesting character in his own right, McNamara confronts the ghosts of his past (he fought in Korea and engineered much of the strategy in Vietnam) and, in so doing, begs the question: Are our leaders responsible for the devastation unleashed by their political decisions? Morris’ film is especially poignant in that it highlights an undeniable parallel between the Johnson administration and the current Bush one; Johnson, like Bush, was seemingly fixated on fighting and winning a war which both the public and the government had serious reservations about.

Kill Bill Quentin Tarantino’s long-awaited return is a gleeful bloodbath that celebrates the pulp auteur’s love of anime, Hong Kong films and westerns. Although it doesn’t supply much food for thought, Tarantino’s direction is impressive and the swordplay is enjoyable. Hopefully the second installment in this two-part series will raise the bar and provide some substance to support all the carnage.

Finding Nemo Ellen Degeneres stole the show in this irresistible, intelligent and incredibly imaginative animated feature from Pixar. As Dory, a fish with no short-term memory who helps Albert Brooks’s unfunny clownfish find his titular son, Degeneres shines in a role which showcases nothing more than her voice. The real treat, though, is seeing Pixar uncover the mysteries of the ocean (Haven’t you always wondered what your fish were thinking in that tank of theirs?) in the same way they answered all those nagging questions you had about your toys ("Toy Story") and the things that were really hiding in your closet ("Monsters Inc.").

School of Rock After his comedic talents were squandered in a number of poorly conceived comedies, Jack Black was given the role of his career by Richard Linklater in this feelgood comedy about muted rock ‘n’ roll rebellion. Posing as a substitute music teacher at a ritzy private school, Black turns his uptight young charges into a rockin’ little band, all the while teaching them that a little letting loose, and Led Zeppelin, is a necessity to a life well-lived.

Screw carpe diem … long live rock!

The Fog of War This fascinating documentary from director Errol Morris ("The Thin Blue Line" and "Dr. Death") is little more than an extended conversation with former Secretary of Defense William S. McNamara, but one

Seabiscuit Syrupy, trite and hopelessly cliched, this heartfelt biopic about the famed little racehorse who lifted the spirits of Depressionera America through his series of unlikely victories has much of what you’d expect: simplistic patriotism matched with a fiery

belief in the power of the underdog.

Nonetheless, when that horse sprints out of the gate and director Gary Ross closes in on him, it’s hard to ignore the knot in your stomach and the tear in your eye.

Cold Mountain Known as a director gifted at bringing novels to the screen, Anthony Minghella does an honorable job with his latest pageto-screen effort: the long-awaited adaptation of Charles Frazier’s lauded and beautiful Civil War novel. Although not nearly as satisfying or interesting as Minghella’s last two films, "The English Patient" and "The Talented Mr. Ripley," "Cold Mountain" does displays some of the wonder, beauty and longing that Frazier’s novel delivered.

Aside from a miscast Nicole Kidman (whose shaky southern accent does, at least, improve over the course of the film), the film flickers with moments of brilliance, even if it does ultimately lag.

House of Sand and Fog One of my favorite films of the year, this haunting, gorgeous picture from first-time director Vadim Perelman wound up being a much more invigorating page-to-screen journey than "Cold Mountain." Based on Andre Dubus’ novel of the same name, "House" leaves you with a similarly devastating feeling as "In the Bedroom," Todd Field’s brilliant indie based on a short story

by Dubus. Here Ben Kingsley and Jennifer Connolly turn in excellent performances as two disparate Californians (he’s a Iranian immigrant trying to rebuild the lavish lifestyle he and his family were forced to leave behind and she’s a recovering alcoholic) whose fates are unfortunately tied to a small house with a view of the San Francisco Bay. A subtle, beautiful tale about racism, family and the unfortunate ways in which good people are driven to terrible ends, "House" reminds us how interesting it is to see stories about people who are not wholly good or wholly evil, but tragically human.

28 M E T R O S P I R I T J A N 1

Music Leibovitz’s “American Music” Puts a Face on Pop Music

By George Varga

2 0 0 4

T

he worlds of music and photography are inextricably linked for Annie Leibovitz.

She reaffirms this in her lavish new book, “American Music” (Random House), which features meticulously crafted portraits of young buzz artists (White Stripes, Nelly, Norah Jones), weathered legends (B.B. King, Ralph Stanley, Neil Young) and a dozen or so more obscure subjects (blues singer Jessie Mae Hemphill, alt-rock maverick Jon Brion and DJ Shadow).

The majority of the book’s 100-plus color and black-and-white photos were shot over the past three years.

It also includes vintage shots from the 1970s — among them Louis Armstrong, Bob Dylan, Ray Charles, Jerry Garcia and Debbie Harry — that Leibovitz took when she was the star photographer at “Rolling Stone.” And it features essays

by Leibovitz and six musicians whose photos appear in the book — Patti Smith, Steve Earle, Rosanne Cash, Mos Def, Beck and Ryan Adams.

“The whole book is about my love for music, because music has always been important to me,” Leibovitz said from Seattle, where an exhibition of 68 photos from the book runs through Jan. 19 at the Experience Music Project. An international tour of the exhibit will follow.

“I had piano lessons as a child and was president of the folk song club in (her suburban Washington, D.C.) high school,” she continued. “Bob Dylan and Joan Baez were my first real influences.

Then, like everyone else, I got turned around by the Beatles.

“I remember being in Europe (in the late 1960s) and listening to the Beatles’ ‘White Album’ and finding it phenomenal, and crying and being touched by it. And I played Dylan’s ‘Sad Eyed Lady of the Lowlands’ until it rotted off the turntable!”

Having spent 13 years at “Rolling Stone” and the past 20 years as the prin-

Jack and Meg White of the White Stripes, as photographed by Annie Leibovitz. cipal photographer for “Vanity Fair,” Leibovitz long ago overcame any feelings of awe about capturing the rich and famous of the world on film.

But she does admit to having been intimidated with one of her first major shoots for “Rolling Stone” more than 30 years ago.

“It was John Lennon,” she said fondly.

“I went to New York and photographed him and Yoko (Ono), and it was such a great experience because he was one of the Beatles. But he immediately set me at ease and taught me this wonderful les-

son about just being yourself and playing it as straight as you can.

“It stuck with me forever, and I sort of expected the same from everyone and myself — just to be yourself.”

Leibovitz was barely 21 the first time she shot Lennon and Ono. She photographed them again for “Rolling Stone” in 1980, only hours before his death.

Her classic shot of what was then rock’s most famous married couple featured the former Beatle, sans clothes, wrapped around a fully clothed Ono in a vulnerable, almost fetal-like position.

One of the world’s best-known popculture photographers, Leibovitz has grown comfortable over the years rubbing shoulders with everyone from various heads of state to Bruce Springsteen (whose 1984 “Born in the U.S.A.” album cover she shot) and Demi Moore (who posed naked and very pregnant for a 1991 “Vanity Fair” cover).

Demand for Leibovitz’s services is so great that she now earns more than $100,000 a day working for such corporate clients as the Gap and American Express. And her own celebrity has grown

to the point that, as often as not, she’s as famous as the people she has been hired to photograph, if not a bit more.

So the question is posed: Does Leibovitz, who frequently shoots President Bush, business moguls and Hollywood superstars, feel the cult of celebrity is good, bad, both or neither?

With a groan, she offered a tellingly self-referential response.

“It’s funny,” Leibovitz said. “Because at the end of a day of doing interviews, it’s come up a few times. And I’ve always been fighting to just be a photographer. When you work all the time, that’s what you do. This other thing (celebrity) happened. I am on Page six (the “New York Post”’s gossip column) sometimes, but I don’t like it.

“I’m sorry; you probably weren’t talking about me, but about the cult of celebrity — the people I photograph. I really think they are people who do things well. More than that, they are so famous. But it’s not always true.”

Presumably, some of the celebrities she has shot over the years have been wonderful people.

Just as likely, though, others have been total ...

Leibovitz, 54, erupted with laughter loud enough to nearly wake her daughter, Julia, 2.

“You know, it’s a hard thing,” she said.

“I’m sort of used to people who don’t like to be photographed. Not too many people enjoy being photographed, and if they did I’d be worried about them. The ones who do, those are the weird ones.

“It’s hard, and I help people through it as best I can. I try and make it as easy as possible, especially as I get older, for both of us. Most of the well-known people are pretty professional and are very easygoing and want to do a good job.

And the not-so-well-known people (are more of a challenge).”

Does she put her personal feelings aside when dealing with world-famous people who are jerks, or with folks whose views she doesn’t share?

“I’m thinking about when it seemed I was becoming the Bushs’ (personal) photographer and had to go down to Washington, D.C., several times and take his picture, and Laura Bush’s picture,” Leibovitz said.

“And I felt very hypocritical, because I certainly didn’t believe in his policies or what he was doing. That felt strange ...

You definitely want to keep the conversation light.”

Another now prominent political figure, Arnold Schwarzenegger, was featured in one of Leibovitz’s most memorable contributions to “Rolling Stone” in the 1970s. Then an unknown bodybuilder, California’s new governor posed — in a skimpy bathing suit — with Dolly Parton, whom he also hoisted into the air.

“I was the special (still) photographer for (the film) ‘Pumping Iron’ down in South Africa, and I met Arnold on it.

And then we came back to the U.S. and I knew I was photographing Dolly and wanted an interesting background for her. He was nondescript; no one knew

who he was. In fact, I think I was chopping off his head, most of the time, and it was problematic (because) Dolly kept blocking him.

“She was bigger (as a celebrity) than him, and here we are now. Can you believe it?”

When she discusses her work in creating “American Music,” it becomes clear the Connecticut native is still a fan of many of her subjects, be it folk-music pioneer Pete Seeger, whose two-page color photo is the first to appear in the book, to punk-rock avatar Patti Smith, whose two-page black-and-white image is the last.

“I’ve admired them. The people in this book — most of them — are people I grew up listening to. And then there are some new people who I love, like the White Stripes. They’re amazing, this band that’s just a duo (gets a) pretty powerful sound.

“There’s a lot of, um, admiration. And I have a lot of interest in the families that continue, generationally, to pass music on. Like June Carter Cash and Johnny Cash and Rosanne Cash ... There are a lot of families in (the book), like the Neville Brothers, who I shot in New Orleans. I’d heard the whole family gathers each year during Jazz Fest, but that a lot of them aren’t talking to each other — mainly some of the wives.”

Leibovitz’s photos have been hailed for their technical excellence and assailed for reinforcing the public image of her well-known subjects, rather than revealing something new or unexpected about them.

“As a portrait photographer, you don’t always get to the heart of the matter, and I’d like to defend the idea that the obvious is interesting, too,” she said.

“When I photographed Etta James, I wanted to see her sing. And it was beautiful. Right away, with a few rolls (of film), it was extraordinary. You can’t really photograph music; you can photograph a face. When I’m shooting Emmylou Harris, I’m hearing a song in the back of my head, ‘Boulder to Birmingham,’ and it’s more a photo illustrating a song. Hank Williams III was the same; you’re trying to portray a lifestyle to hopefully portray a song.”

And what of the tempestuous jazz legend Miles Davis, whose 1989 portrait is one of the most striking in “American Music?”

“That was a very scary session. It wasn’t done for this project, but he’s one of these icons I put in,” she said of the New York shoot.

“I went in to see him, and he didn’t look well. He was very, you know, I don’t know how better to explain it — he was doing these strange things with his mouth. I felt like I was walking into a spider web. It was very destructive. I had a couple of assistants with me; I didn’t feel like being sacrificed!

“I felt like he was on some kind of drug, and he wasn’t sharing. It was sort of like (he was) doing a seduction number, and I just let it go. It wouldn’t have been the first time.”

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Music

Winter Jam Brings Music With a Mission

I

t’s time once again for Christian band NewSong’s Winter Jam to roll through Augusta — only this year, things are slightly different. The tour is going by the moniker NewSong’s All-New Winter Jam Spectacular.

What makes it all-new and spectacular, you might ask?

The answer is simple. It’s all in the lineup. NewSong hits the road with acts Audio Adrenaline, Relient K, Todd Agnew and Jadyn Maria, along with illusionist Brock Gill. With the exceptions of Agnew and NewSong, it’s a lineup full of acts the Summer and Winter Jam tours haven’t yet brought to Augusta. And with live video and the unique illusion act, the tour includes a slight change in format for audiences to enjoy.

NewSong, who started the Summer and Winter Jam multi-artist tours eight years ago, comes to the 2004 Winter Jam with a brand-new album, “More Life.” It’s their 15th studio album to date, and with achievements like 17 No. 1 radio singles and a 2003 Dove Award under their belt, NewSong is still going strong. If you need further proof, think back to all the times you heard local radio playing NewSong tearjerker “The Christmas Shoes” over the holidays.

Relient K, formed in 1998 by Matt Thiessen, Brian Pittman, Matt Hoopes and Todd Frascone, has released three albums since 2000 — their self-titled debut, 2001’s “The Anatomy of the Tongue in Cheek” and this

By Lisa Jordan

year’s “Two Lefts Don’t Make a Right, but Three Do.” Embarking on their headlining tours and spending 150200 nights on the road every year have already turned Relient K into seasoned performers.

Audio Adrenaline has been around for a decade, and with their seventh album, “Worldwide,” music veterans Mark Stuart, Will McGinniss, Ben Cissell and Tyler Burkum pursue their message of mission and outreach more aggressively than ever before. Audio Adrenaline has also won multiple Dove Awards and garnered four Grammy nominations.

Singer/songwriter Todd Agnew brings his eclectic mix of rock-, blues-, soul- and gospel-influenced music to the Winter Jam tour. Already a veteran of NewSong’s Summer Jam tour, Agnew is finding radio success with the first single off his 2003 debut, “Grace Like Rain.”

Teenager Jadyn Maria is still hard at work on her debut album, set for release in the spring of 2004, but if her past work ethic is any indication, Maria’s debut will be the first of many studio albums. Her career began at the age of two, with stints singing in local churches.

After that, Maria and sister Jaclyn toured with Southern gospel group The Isaacs as an opening act.

NewSong’s All-New Winter Jam Spectacular kicks off at the Augusta-Richmond County Civic Center 7 p.m.

Jan. 8. Tickets are $10 at the door for general admission. For information, call 722-3521.

Jadyn Maria

MUSIC

BY TURNER

These Ol’ Cowboys Dept.

Back in the ‘70s, the MARSHALL TUCKER BAND was one of the hottest southern rock bands on the planet. The Spartanburg, S.C.-based group was led by brothers TOY and TOMMY CALDWELL and enjoyed great success being labelmates at Capricorn Records in Macon with THE ALLMAN BROTHERS, WET WILLIE and ELVIN BISHOP. Three of their better works are being reissued in late January with bonus tracks: “Where We All Belong,” “Searchin’ For a Reason” and “Long Hard Ride.” Currently, vocalist DOUG GRAY is the only remaining original member of Marshall Tucker left, as both Caldwell brothers are deceased.

JACK WHITE, the leader of minimalist rockers the WHITE STRIPES, contributes several new compositions to the soundtrack to the new film “Cold Mountain.”

Bluegrass pioneer RALPH STANLEY and

ALISON KRAUSS also lend their talents to the project.

JIMMY BUFFETT has followed PEARL JAM’s lead (believe me, that will never happen again) by issuing four live concerts from his 2003 tour. These discs, representing shows from Las Vegas, Cincinnati, Seattle and an undisclosed venue in Massachusetts, are available not through the Internet but through trade retail stores. I can understand “jam bands” releasing multiple shows from tours as their improvisation varies from show to show, but how different can four versions of “A Pirate Looks at Forty” or “Come Monday” be from each other?

PHISH remains the class group of musicians they are by announcing that proceeds from shows sold by LivePhish.com will be donated. The Mockingbird Foundation, which provides music education for children, will receive a portion of the sales of various shows from Phish concerts.

Turner’s Quick Notes TEARS FOR FEARS return this spring with their first new LP in 14 years … THE DOORS have 50 unissued performances available from Doors.com called “Boot Yer Butt” … GODSMACK has a new DVD, “Sex and Rock and Roll,” out … SIMON AND GARFUNKEL donated $1 million from their reunion tour to the Children’s Health Fund … Look for ALANIS MORISSETTE’s next outing, “So Called Chaos,” in February.

Turner’s Rock ‘N’ Roll Jeopardy A. This funkster, now a Jehovah’s Witness, reportedly went house-to-house in November attempting to convert others.

Q. Who is Prince?

2

003 was a very busy year for rockers INCUBUS. Their groundbreaking “Morning View” album continued to sell in both CD and DVD formats even though the band was undergoing personnel changes.

Longtime bassist DIRK LANCE was replaced by ex-ROOTS member BEN KENNEY just as the band entered the studio last summer.

The results of this change can be found on the band’s current single and video “Megalomaniac” from the forthcoming disc “A Crow Left of the Murder.” The album, due in February, will be followed by a long U.S. tour with dates yet to be announced. Fans who can’t wait for the LP can satisfy their cravings by checking out “Live at Lollapalooza,” available only on the band’s Web site at IncubusBootlegs.com.

MUSIC MINIS Britney Leaves the Country Sigh. Don’t get your hopes up: She’s coming back. But a gig in Rio means that she is now loosed on the world.

There goes civilization as we know it.

Jermaine Jackson, says that Jackson is neither Islamic nor planning to convert.

Nation of Islam and Jacko Strange Bedfellows … … or are they? Farrakhan’s group denies ties to Michael Jackson, while online reports say that those close to Jackson claim members of the group have been lending the damaged pop star a helping hand. Among the services that the Nation have supposedly rendered him are security at Neverland, legal duties associated with the office of Jackson’s attorney Mark Geragos and some of Jackson’s business affairs. The attorney does admit, however, that the group’s chief of staff, Leonard F. Muhammad, is a supporter of Jackson, and that he had attended a news conference Geragos held for Jackson after the latest round of child molestation charges were filed against the singer. Jackson’s brother,

Musician Makes Ass of Self, Gets Shot – Allegedly If reports detailing a day-after-Christmas encounter are correct, Meat Puppets bass player Cris Kirkwood is a waste of good carbon. Here is what allegedly happened.

Kirkwood and a woman both tried to pull into the same post office parking spot.

OK – it happens. But, according to reports, he wouldn’t stop shouting obscenities at her as they entered the post office. She reported him, and the security guard could not make the enraged Meat Puppet leave the parking lot. When the guard drew his baton, Kirkwood relieved him of it and reportedly struck him upside the head with it, at which point, the guard then drew his gun and shot him. Kirkwood was taken to the hospital and underwent surgery for the abdominal wound, and was then listed in critical condition over the weekend.

COMPILED BY RHONDA JONES Information compiled from online and other music news sources.

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32

In The Spirit

M E T R O S P I R I T J A N 1 2 0 0 4

Jayson Sabo and Michael Baideme play at the Cotton Patch.

Lettye Smith, Nicholas Kaune and Nyketa Marshall at Modjeska.

Elif Bridges and Lake Roberts at Stillwater Tap Room.

Nate Clisson, Hector Sanchez and James Clisson at the Soul Bar.

Brian Swindlor, Bobby Phillips, Rebecca Bonfey and Michael Hopkins at the Firehouse.

Brandon Wiggington and Bobbie Marucut at Modjeska.

Leah Martin, Anita Alam and Jenny Alam at the Hangnail Gallery.

Nocholai Crees, Chrissy Vonnyvenheim, Rachel Suhrer and Ian Huston at the Hangnail Gallery.

Photos by Michael E. Johnson

33

Night Life

M E T R O S P I R I T J A N 1 2 0 0 4

The Biscuit Burners come to Stillwater Tap Room Jan. 3.

Thursday, 1st Adams Lounge - Keith “Fossill” Gregory Cafe Du Teau - James McIntyre Club Argos - Karaoke Dance Par ty with DJ Daddy Bear Coliseum - Karaoke with Travis, Hi-Energy Dance Continuum - Playa*Listic Thursday Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band D. Timm’s - The Section Finish Line Cafe - DJ Greene Streets - Karaoke The Helm - Karaoke Locals - Preston and Weston Michael’s - Mike Swif t The Pourhouse - Karaoke with The Pourhouse Friends Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Rusty Wheeler Tavern - DJ Dog

Friday, 2nd Adams Lounge - Tony Williams and the Blues Express Back Roads - DJ Cafe Du Teau - James McIntyre Charlie O’s - Live Band Club Argos - Argos Angels Stephanie Ross, Claire Storm, Taylor Collins Coconuts - Bikini Contest Coliseum - Sasha Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band D. Timm’s - The Section El Rodeo - DJ Sontiago Finish Line Cafe - DJ Greene Streets - Karaoke Jeremy’s Nightclub - Spoken Word, Open Mic, Dance Par ty with DJ Dick Joe’s Underground - Keith “Fossill” Gregory

Last Call - DJ Richie Rich, DJ Rana Marlboro Station - Miss Peg Michael’s - Mike Swif t Modjeska - First Friday with DJ Ted For tenberry Ms. Carolyn’s - The Horizon Partridge Inn - Kari Gaf fney, Jef f Williams The Pourhouse - Tony Howard Band Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Rusty The Shack - DJ Chip Soul Bar - Super*Stereo*Hi-Fi*Mix with DJ Zapatista, First Friday Ar t by Billy S. Stillwater Tap Room - Livingroom Legends Wheeler Tavern - DJ Dog Whiskey Junction - Wa x Bean

Saturday, 3rd Back Roads - DJ Borders - Chelsea Logue Cafe Du Teau - James McIntyre Charlie O’s - Live Band Club Argos - Daddy Bear and Rob’s Bir thday Bash, Argos Angels Sasha, Dianne and April Coconuts - DJ Tim Coliseum - Hot Boy Gabriel Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band D. Timm’s - The Section Finish Line Cafe - DJ, Karaoke Greene Streets - Karaoke Jeremy’s Nightclub - Open Mic Joe’s Underground - Keith “Fossill” Gregory Last Call - DJ Richie Rich, DJ Rana Locals - Blind Draw Marlboro Station - Miss Peg Metro Coffeehouse - Live Af ternoon Bluegrass with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Michael’s - Mike Swif t Modjeska - DJ Ted For tenberry Partridge Inn - Sandy B. and the All-Stars The Pourhouse - Tony Howard Band

Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold play bluegrass Saturday afternoons at the Metro.

Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Rusty The Shack - DJ Buckwheat Soul Bar - Soul*Bar*Sound*Lab Stillwater Tap Room - Biscuit Burners Wheeler Tavern - DJ Dog Whiskey Junction - Wa x Bean

Sunday, 4th Adams Lounge - DJ Cafe Du Teau - The Last Bohemian Quar tet Marlboro Station - Claire Storm Orange Moon - Smooth Jazz Sunday with Emery Bennet t Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Rusty The Shack - Karaoke with DJ Joe Steel, Sasha Somewhere in Augusta - Live Enter tainment T.G.I. Friday’s - Patrick Blanchard Wheeler Tavern - Karaoke with DJ Dog

Monday, 5th Coliseum - Q.A.F. Continuum - Monday Madness Greene Streets - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - John Michael’s - Mike Swif t

Tuesday, 6th Coliseum - Tournament Tuesday D. Timm’s - The Section Greene Streets - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - John Metro Coffeehouse - Irish Night with Sibin Michael’s - Mike Swif t Surrey Tavern - Tuesday Night Jam Session with Pat Blanchard and Friends

Wednesday, 7th Coconuts - Karaoke Continuum - Open Mic Jam Sessions Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band D. Timm’s - The Section Greene Streets - Karaoke The Helm - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Keith “Fossill” Gregory Last Call - Karaoke with DJ Rana Michael’s - Mike Swif t The Pourhouse - Mic Fright Therapy Night with Edmond “The Lurch” Kida Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Rusty Somewhere in Augusta - Live Enter tainment Soul Bar - Live Jazz

Upcoming Newsong’s All-New Winter Jam - AugustaRichmond County Civic Center - Jan. 8 Diffuser - Hangnail Gallery - Jan. 16 Malcolm Holcombe - Stillwater Tap Room Jan. 22 The Kevn Kinney Band - Soul Bar - Jan. 24 Rev. Jeff Mosier - Stillwater Tap Room - Jan. 30 Roots-A-Fire Reggae Band - Soul Bar - Jan. 31 Mercy Me, Amy Grant, Bebo Norman - Bell Auditorium - Feb. 7 Willie Nelson - Augusta-Richmond County Civic Center - Feb. 28 The Woggles - Soul Bar - Feb. 28

Elsewhere Winterfest - Liber ty University, Lynchburg, Va. - Jan. 1 Sevendust - The Tabernacle, Atlanta - Jan. 3 Transcendental Funk - Apache Cafe, Atlanta Jan. 9

continued on page 34

34 M E T R O

Cocktail Hour Nightly 5-8 pm

S P I R I T

metro a coffeehouse

Espressos & Cocktails

Closed New Year’s day

J A N

sat 3

1

$5 BACARDI RUMTINI NIGHT

2 0 0 4

Bluegrass in Broad Daylight w/ Eryn Eubanks & The Fold This weekend marks the last time you can catch this particular lineup of Wax Bean.

They’re playing Friday and Saturday nights at Whiskey Junction.

tues 6

continued from page 33

Irish Pub Night! L i v e Celtic Music w/ SIBIN $2.50 GUINNESS & HARP Irish Drink Specials All Night Music Stars @ 8pm*

1054 broad • downtown (on corner of 11th & Broad) 706-722-6468

Gentleman's Club

Mike Epps - Atlanta Civic Center, Atlanta - Jan. 10 George Strait - The Arena at Gwinet t Center, Duluth, Ga. - Jan. 15 My Morning Jacket - Cot ton Club, Atlanta Jan. 17 Sarah Brightman - The Arena at Gwinnet t Center, Duluth, Ga. - Jan. 19 Helloween - Masquerade, Atlanta - Jan. 20 Penny wise - Masquerade, Atlanta - Jan. 21 Gomez - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta - Jan. 24 Bette Midler - Philips Arena, Atlanta - Jan. 25 Henry Rollins Spoken Word - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta - Jan. 25 Ronnie Milsap - Macon City Auditorium, Macon, Ga. - Jan. 30 Pink Floyd Laser Spectacular - Fox Theatre, Atlanta - Jan. 30 Taj Mahal - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta - Jan. 30 Left Front Tire - Cot ton Club, Atlanta - Jan. 30 moe. - Fox Theatre, Atlanta - Jan. 31 Puddle of Mudd - Roxy Theatre, Atlanta - Feb. 2 Vonda Shepard - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta Feb. 6 Kid Rock - The Arena at Gwinnet t Center, Duluth, Ga. - Feb. 7 Mushroomhead - Masquerade, Atlanta - Feb. 9 Rod Stewart - Philips Arena, Atlanta - Feb. 10 Dillinger Escape Plan - Masquerade, Atlanta Feb. 11

Yonder Mountain String Band - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta - Feb. 12 Robert Earl Keen - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta Feb. 14 MXPX, Simple Plan, Billy Talent - Tabernacle, Atlanta - Feb. 14 O.A.R. - Tabernacle, Atlanta - Feb. 20 Hank Williams III - Masquerade, Atlanta - Feb. 26 Lou Rawls - Anderson Theatre, Mariet ta, Ga. Feb. 27 A.F.I. - Tabernacle, Atlanta - Feb. 28 Willie Nelson - Macon City Auditorium, Macon, Ga. - Feb. 29 Many tickets are available through TicketMaster outlets by calling 828-7700, or online at www.ticketmaster.com. Tickets may also be available through Tix Online by calling 278-4TIX, online at www.tixonline.com or at their outlet location in Southgate Plaza. Night Life listings are subject to change without notice. Deadline for inclusion in Night Life calendar is Tuesday at 4 p.m. Contact Rhonda Jones or Lisa Jordan by calling 738-1142, faxing 736-0443 or e-mailing to rhonda.jones@metrospirit.com or lisa.jordan@metrospirit.com.

NOW HIRING!

Drink Specials Nightly

Monday-Friday 12pm-2:45am Saturday 6pm-1:45am

580 Broad Street 823-2040 The Rhes Reeves Band plays at Coyote’s this week.

News of the

Weird D

utch artist Iepe created the sport of chess boxing, which began in earnest in Amsterdam in November with several matches of six fourminute chess rounds alternating with five two-minute boxing rounds, with victory coming by knockout, checkmate or, if the match goes the distance, judges’ scoring of rounds. Both the Dutch Chess Federation and the Dutch Boxing Federation have endorsed the sport, and cards of matches have been scheduled for Berlin and Moscow.

Recent Alarming Headline “Woman Gets Probation for Chasing Kids With Dildo” (a Pottstown, Pa., Mercury report about Linda Schultz, 36, engaging in inexplicable conduct in front of three small children and being referred for psychological counseling) (October).

Great Art! • In October, San Francisco artist Jonathon Keats, 32, registered his brain as a sculpture and began selling futures contracts on its six billion neurons, offering buyers the rights to any creative products it might produce if science learns how to keep it alive after his death. He also wrote a prospectus for investors, with MRI scans showing the idea-fertility of various brain areas. For now, he is selling inexpensive options ($10) to buy a million neurons for $10,000 when he dies; he sold 71 the first day.

• California Lt. Gov. Cruz Bustamante (runnerup to Arnold Schwarzenegger in the October recall election) is not the family’s only public figure. As the San Francisco Chronicle reported in September, his sister Nao Bustamante, 39, is a prominent performance artist whose work includes (1) wearing a strap-on burrito for men to kneel before and bite in order to absolve themselves of “500 years of white man’s guilt” and (2) sticking her head into a plastic bag filled with water and tying it around her neck to resemble a Houdini stunt, to create “an urgent situation to respond to.”

Government in Action • According to an October Boston Globe profile, New Bedford, Mass., city council candidate Raimundo Delgado is a charismatic politician despite his freely disclosed bipolar disorder, which has resulted twice in his involuntary hospitalization during the campaign. Among his proposals: to create a “city underwater”; to “free the dogs, the sheep, the goats”; to grow a tropical forest in place of local Route 18; and to give $10,000 raises to numerous city employees who he has met. He lost the council election and an earlier mayoral election, though he did outpoll an opponent with schizophrenia.

• Norway Is Different: Lena Skarning, 33, who calls herself a witch, won a government startup grant of the equivalent of U.S. $7,400 for her Oslo-based Forest Witch Magic Consulting business (but conditioned on her refraining from casting evil spells). Said the modest Skarning in October, “I’m (just) an ordinary witch who came

up with an original business idea.”

• George Duncan was finally fired by the New York Department of Corrections in November, after having taken 744 “sick” days in 15 years (for spikes of high blood pressure), none of which were ever authenticated by doctors examining Duncan afterward. And a week before that, the city of Vicksburg, Miss., took a step to alleviate its own problem with employees’ illnesses: Henceforth, city workers will be expected to give 48 hours’ notice before taking sick days.

Update News of the Weird reported in 2001 that Dr. Stuart Meloy had inadvertently discovered a side effect of an electrical implant whose purpose is to block spinal pain: It taps into the nerve that produces orgasms in women. By November 2003, Meloy had Food and Drug Administration approval for clinical tests of this “side effect,” but said, surprisingly, he was having trouble attracting volunteers at his clinic in WinstonSalem, N.C. He said the only volunteer to that point had a terrific experience, but that at least eight more women were needed.

Extreme Piercings A 14-year-old boy has made nearly a full recovery after a pal accidentally slung a steel rebar rod at his face; it penetrated six inches, between his nose and lip, knocking out two teeth and piercing his tongue (Spokane, Wash., September). And a man miraculously survived an accidental fall from a ladder onto an 18-inchlong auger bit firmly locked into his drill, penetrating his right eye, nudging his brain, and exiting above his ear (Truckee, Calif., August).

Politics As Usual (1) Sheriff John Maspero (Williamson County, Texas) said he would run for re-election in March 2004 despite being stopped in November

by Georgetown, Texas, police for being drunk in public; in a previous drinking binge, according to the county attorney, Maspero was spotted crawling on all fours like a dog, barking and biting. (2) And recent research in an American Sociological Association publication, citing high crime rates, laws against felons voting and felons’ political preferences, concluded that if all felons could vote, Al Gore would have won Florida by 30,000 votes in 2000.

God’s Will Brian Lawrence, 38, died of a heart attack five days before he was due in court to answer the charge that he and his girlfriend had had sex in New York City’s St. Patrick’s Cathedral in August 2002 as part of a radio station’s stunt (September). And at least 39 Hindu pilgrims were killed in a stampede of crowds while waiting to ritually bathe their sins away in the holy Godavari River in western India (August).

Also, in the Last Month A TV station reported that a state historical fund gave $210,000 to a landlord to renovate a building whose only tenant happens to be a sex club for gay men (Denver). A 41-year-old California mayor who was cited for having illegally tinted car windows filed a complaint against the ticketing officer for continually referring to him as “dude” (Arvin, Calif.). Three 19-year-olds, who said they were bored, allegedly hacked into an Internet auction account and bought $160 million worth of goods (including industrial machinery and airplanes) in a two-hour period (Limburg, Germany).

— Chuck Shepherd © United Press Syndicate

35 M E T R O S P I R I T J A N 1

M

y girlfriend broke up with me because she doesn’t want a commitment and wants to “explore dating other people.”

Although I’m honestly not ready for commitment either, it kills me to see her dating other guys. There’s also a twist: She says she still has feelings for me and wants me sexually. I know I should play it cool and wait her out, but it hurts so much, I don’t see how I can. I’d like to find a place between being totally committed and “just friends.” Is it possible to do that and make her crave me again?

— Agony Central Phoning “customer service” probably seems like a bright idea to any customer who has yet to experience “press one to be ignored in English; press two to be ignored in Spanish.” The term “office park” suggests a scattering of desks under centuries-old oak trees, with deer wandering over to eat out of your hand — not the apparent homage to prison life in much recent office complex design. Then there’s the girlfriend who wants to “explore dating other people” — which makes it sound like she’s planning on putting in lots of long, lonely nights at the library, poring over boyfriend data in “Consumer Reports.”

Of course, what she’s really planning on is having sex with a lot of guys who are not you. Or maybe just several guys. Or maybe just one or two. Exact census aside, it’s unlikely that her search will lead her to a bible study partner who’ll join her in reciting from Deuteronomy at the diner over a couple of cherry Cokes.

Unfortunately, people who break up with other people are not always kind enough to be adequately cruel. This leaves those who got left to pick up the slack. This would be you. Come on. It’s time for some self-inflicted hopecrushing. Crack off the candy coating. Cue up the dirty picture show. Stare straight into all that’s painful until something becomes painfully obvious: She doesn’t crave you. She craves variety. Sure, she says she still has “feelings” for you — probably like the cozy feeling that you’ll do quite nicely as a stand-in, should any of the dates on her international sex tour cancel.

There’s no telling what the future will hold — or who’ll be holding her in it. That said, it’s extremely unlikely to be you if you suck away any respect she might have for you by waiting at her door like a sad doggie while she runs around with a bunch of other guys.

Forget searching for “a place between being

totally committed and ‘just friends’” — a romantic Switzerland that does not exist. For you, right now, there’s only the place between humiliating yourself and totally humiliating yourself — where friendship tinged with a sniffly “B-b-but, why don’t you want me?” undertone will take you. If it’s really friendship you seek, be your own best friend and put some space between you and this girl. Crawl away and lick your wounds, and prepare to date women who share your level of alleged disinterest in commitment. Maybe, in a few months, or a year, you’ll have what it takes to be this woman’s friend: the ability to find her emotionally interchangeable with the rest of your friends. In other words, if, when your 230-pound pal Bubba has a date, you generally stay home, curl up in a fetal position, rock back and forth and cry your eyes out — you’ll want to do exactly the same for her. _____________________________________ Part of me wants to break up with a woman I recently began a relationship with, but at 31, I fear my days of securing a 22-year-old hottie like her are rapidly diminishing. She’s a knockout, and the sex is great, but I don’t get to spend much time with her. I find myself baby-sitting her kids while she parties till dawn. I’ve somehow become financially responsible for her antidepressants, and cash is constantly missing from my wallet. Even worse, her ex has been sleeping on my couch all week, and will be for the foreseeable future. What do I do with this beautiful, sexy woman who puts my needs on the back burner?

— Beauty Habit What did you do for fun before you met her — leave your car running, with the keys in it, in a bad neighborhood? Paint signs across your house for burglars, advertising the exact times and dates you’d be away? Beauty isn’t cheap. That’s no news to you, of course, since this woman’s pet name for you is probably ATM. You could say you’re everything to her — nanny, financial backer, hotelier, and free prescription drug plan.

How much is too much? Think hard. Hint: Use the part of you that wants to break up with her.

Unless it happens to be an organ you’ve already donated to her ex.

— © 2003, Amy Alkon

Got A Problem?

Write Amy Alkon 171 Pier Ave., Box 280 • Santa Monica, CA 90405 • e-mail AdviceAmy@aol.com

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smart, effective people who also serve me.”

Brezsny's Free Will Astrology ARIES (March 21-April 19)

I saw my Aries friend Alexis yesterday. “You’re even more festive than the last time I saw you,” I told her.

She had on red silk pants, a burgundy cashmere sweater, silver scarf, black snakeskin boots and beaded black tunic. I noticed several new piercings and a Hindu-style red dot on her forehead just above her eyes. She also happened to be carrying her snake, which was wrapped around her arm. “The older I get, the freer I am to hide nothing about how I really feel,” she replied. “It’s not even rebellion any more — it’s generosity. I have this sense that the world needs me to express my most extravagant self.” I nominate Alexis to be your patron saint in 2004, Aries.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

How have you measured your progress over the years, Taurus? Report cards, diplomas, certificates and plaques? Pay raises, VIP friends, new titles and nicer cars? Or have your benchmarks of success been subtler, like rising levels of self-love, a growing capacity for intimacy, more robust health and friendships with people who bring out the best in you?

Whatever signs you have relied on, I ask you to set them aside in 2004. Empty your mind completely so that you will be fully receptive to fresh intuitions about how to evaluate your ongoing evolution.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

My orphan friend Elektra has no idea when she was born and therefore doesn’t know what sign she is.

While there are drawbacks to this, it has advantages, too. She celebrates her birthday once every month, for instance. She also reads all 12 of my horoscopes each week and heeds only the ones she likes. I suggest you adopt her approach in 2004, Gemini. To do so would make perfect astrological sense. This week you could act like an assertive, single-minded Aries. Next week you might want to be an organized and disciplined Capricorn. By mid-January you could thrive on playing the part of a willful, myste-

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I invite you to meditate on death not as the end of your actual physical life, but as a metaphor for killing off beliefs and habits that are outworn burdens. Once you’ve come to understand that this kind of death is an ally you’d be wise to have by your side all the time, you’ll be able to enjoy the rest of this horoscope. Seriously, Libra. Don’t read on until you are convinced that the “good death” I described is an asset you want. Ready? Your assignment in the first two-thirds of 2004 is to die at least once every month. If you do it right — that is to say, with grace and flair — you will be blessed with a glorious rebirth by next October.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

Cancerian actress Pamela Anderson has become a Sunday school teacher who reads the Bible to kids.

While some might wonder if the former “Playboy” centerfold has reformed and others might call her a hypocrite, she told the BBC there’s no incongruity between her sexy image and her faith in God. I urge you to be inspired by Anderson’s example in 2004, my fellow Crabs. You have the possibility of playing two different roles that many people imagine are incompatible. Who cares what they think? You can definitely go both ways without being either a contradiction or a fake.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Scorpio actress Chloe Sevigny has a unique relationship with the 10 Commandments. Judging from the fact that she’s a Catholic who goes to mass, she seems to regard them as important. On the other hand, she told a “Rolling Stone” reporter, “I interpret the 10 Commandments pretty loosely. Actually, I interpret them in any way that helps me.” Sevigny’s approach won’t work for you in 2004, Scorpio. If you want to align yourself harmoniously with cosmic forces, you should either take your moral code very seriously, or else abandon it altogether and find a new one you can totally commit to.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

Three weeks in a row, a Leo woman in Romania watched a TV horoscope show that assured her she would soon receive a windfall. No free money ever arrived, though, so she lodged a protest with a local consumer protection agency. Officials there in turn advised the horoscope show’s programmers to issue a disclaimer stating that their predictions may not be 100 percent accurate. I suppose I should make a similar announcement here, even though I’m pretty sure the prophecy I’m about to make will be fulfilled.

If you vow to work smarter (not harder) and shed illusory hopes that free money might come your way unexpectedly, you will get richer quicker in 2004.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

makes long-term weather forecasts by analyzing natural phenomena like the quality of red onion skins, the thickness of winter coats on coyotes and deer and the difference between sea and land temperatures in coastal areas. I, too, like to factor in clues like this with my astrological evaluations. To gauge your prospects for the coming months, I’ve gathered information on eagle nests, the horns of mountain goats and cloud patterns over wild places with no roads. I conclude that for you to be in maximum harmony with cosmic rhythms in 2004, you should spend a lot of time wandering in the great outdoors.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

As an Aquarius, you have a tendency to be ahead of your time. Sometimes that’s an asset, like when you readily embrace good changes that less adventurous people are afraid of. But on other occasions it’s a liability, like when you figure out solutions to budding problems that no one else is even aware of yet. I believe this kind of disjunction will happen with regularity in 2004. Your first reaction may be to feel frustrated. “I have the answer,” you’ll feel like screaming at your cohorts, “to the question you people desperately need to ask!” Here’s some advice about how to avoid this crazy-making situation: Accept the fact that it will be just as important to “sell” your brilliant solution as to come up with it in the first place.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

After having dined at the Urasawa sushi bar in Los Angeles, I’m prepared to give you advice about your love life in 2004. It should have a lot in common with the sake I drank there: delicate yet potent, so unique as to be almost (but not quite) strange, enjoyed most when sipped slowly, and made from individually polished grains of rice grown next to sacred groves of sakaki trees and fed by an ancient underground spring.

Thirty-six-year-old Dale Peck is an author with an extremely high sense of self-worth. He has written several novels that he describes as “among the best books published in the last 10 years.” He has also penned many book reviews replete with caustic and derisive dismissals of modern literary giants, including Faulkner, Nabokov, DeLillo, Barthelme and Pynchon. He calls James Joyce’s “Ulysses” “diarrheic flow,” and rips Rick Moody as “the worst writer of his generation.” I bring Peck to your attention, Sagittarius, because I believe you should study him as a model of both what to do and what not to do in 2004. Aspire to achieve his abundant confidence, yes, but root it in self-love, not a contemptuous sense of superiority towards others.

One of your most wonderful qualities is your aptitude for helping people. It’s also the part of your nature that is most likely to be abused by charming narcissists and charismatic manipulators. But in 2004, you will have a knack for freeing yourself from these oppressors. You’ll be able to spot potential new ones from a mile away, and you’ll know how to break the hold that the old ones have on you. Take this pledge now: “I will serve only the

— © Rob Brezsny You can call Rob Brezsny, day or night, for your Expanded Weekly Horoscope

1-900-950-7700

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

San Francisco Chronicle columnist Tom Sienstra writes about the great outdoors. He sometimes

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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

rious Scorpio. All the world will be your stage in 2004. You should relish the host of roles available to you.

New York Times Crossword Puzzle

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ACROSS 1 Christmas poem opener 5 Oscars’ org.

10 “This is ___ for Superman!”

14 Moderate 15 One not userfriendly?

16 Locks in a barn?

17 Big man in Sherwood Forest 19 “Do it just for me,” e.g.

20 W.W. II command: Abbr.

21 Agreeing (with) 22 Deli display 23 Worked with rattan 25 Fancy entrance 27 Life lines?

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classification 2 “Be patient” 3 Flabbergast 4 Position 5 Work without ___ (be daring) 6 Declaration of education 7 Belly down 8 Was sore 9 II or III, say 10 Current amount 11 Capital of Veracruz 12 Time in the early afternoon 13 Zoo attractions 18 Schoolboy 22 Parakeets’ kin 24 Sermon ender?

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48 Alley Oop’s lady 49 Letter-shaped

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54 Cote inhabitants 57 Be greedy about 58 Court letters?

For answers, call 1-900-285-5656, $1.20 a minute; or, with a credit card, 1-800-814-5554.

Annual subscriptions are available for the best of Sunday crosswords from the last 50 years: 1-888-7-ACROSS. Online subscriptions: Today's puzzle and more than 2,000 past puzzles, nytimes.com/crosswords ($34.95 a year).

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SEEKS MAN WITH DIRECTION GBM, 33, Capricorn, N/S, seeks understanding, level-headed, secure GBM, 25-48, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. 854633 ACTIVE SBM SBM, 49, Pisces, N/S, enjoys bowling, movies, playing sports, seeks compatible BM, 30-46, N/S, with similar interests. 846543 INTERESTED? Independent SWM, 37, 5’8”, 150lbs, brown/brown, would like to meet fun-loving, honest, real, professional, secure female to share dates, talks, walks, dinners and romance.

848764 FUN TO HANG AROUND WITH GWM, 52, 5’2”, smoker, enjoys playing pool, having fun, seeks outgoing GWM, 40-55, smoker, with similar interests. 844895 SEEKING SPECIAL GENTLEMAN SBM, 33, 6’2”, 245lbs, Taurus, N/S, likes movies, camping, music, reading, sports.

Seeking out GM, 35-48, for friendship, possible romance. 824261 GREAT PERSONALITY SBM, 18, 6’3”, 220lbs, masculine build, seeking SBM, 18-29, very masculine, energetic, fun-loving, to go out for dinners, walks and more.

627150 SEEKING SOMEONE SINCERE GWM, 42, 5’11”, 175lbs, brown/blue, somewhat masculine, outgoing and friendly, likes dining out, travel, movies and shopping. Looking to meet honest, passionate SBM, with similar interests, for dating, possible LTR. 769411 FRIENDSHIP FIRST GWM, 26, 5’3”, athletic build, N/S, likes sports, working out, travel, reading, swimming. Seeking non-smoking GW/AM, 20-26, with similar interests. 764332 HEALTHY AND FIT SBM, 25, 5’5”, 170lbs, masculine, nighttime inventory stocker, Capricorn, N/S, enjoys working out. Seeking energetic, passionate, masculine WM, 20-50, N/S. 708544 A LOT TO OOFER Outgoing SWM, 5’ 10”, average build, 44, Capricorn, smoker, seeks WM, 40-50, smoker, to date and enjoy a lifetime companionship.

691527 DONT MISS OUT Fun-loving GWM, 24, likes sports, dining out, movies, quiet evenings at home, music.

Seeking romantic, affectionate GM, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. 675371 SEEKING FRIENDSHIP SBM, 6’1”, 214lbs, enjoys indoor activities.

Seeking masculine SW/BM, honest, sincere, who is looking for new friendships. 737679 SPRINGTIME BLOOM SWM, 33, with an education in business, seeks a man who loves country music, karaoke, springtime, and making a connection with a good person. 659296 ROAM IF YOU WANT TO SWM, 42, loves cool weather and the renewal of Spring. Seeking a man who is strong both physically and emotional. 661792 SEA OF LOVE SWM, 29, Pisces, smoker, 5’7”, 175lbs, swims like a fish, likes water-skiing, bowling, movies, time at home, seeks compatible SWM, 30-40, for LTR. 647347 MASCULINE AND FIT SWM, 39, Libra, smoker, 5’8”, brown/brown, masculine, works out, fit, likes movies, riding bikes, camping, cooking, time at home. Seeks SWM, 30-43, with similar interests. 545309 RELAXING AT HOME SBM, 35, Virgo, N/S, likes relaxing at home, fun, concerts, trips going to the beach. Seeks fun, spontaneous SBM, 26-37, N/S. 532700 TAKE A CHANCE GWM, 43, 6’2”, 195lbs, black brown, seeks other GWM, for fun times and maybe something more. 493530

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LET’S MEET FOR COFFEE Good-looking GWM, 36, 6’, 200lbs, muscular, tan, enjoys working out, yard work, spending time with my dogs. Looking for attractive SM, 32-48, for dating, maybe leading to LTR. 436231

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ME IN A NUTSHELL WM, 18, brown/blue, medium build, looking for fun, outgoing, energetic guy, 18-30, for movies, hanging out, quiet evenings at home, and more.

Friends first, maybe becoming serious.

425471

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ENJOYS ALL THAT LIFE HAS GWM, 40, shaved head, goatee, Pisces, smoker, seeks very special, attractive, strong, fun-loving GBM, 30-50, for dating, possible LTR. 257126

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YOU CAN MAKE MY DAY Male, 60, Cancer, N/S, seeks a WM, 49-65, N/S, for casual relationship. Why not call me?

927707

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1 YOU’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR BiWF, 27, enjoys everything, promises you won’t regret it. If you’re looking for a good time and friendship, I’ll be perfect for you. 830500

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PLAYS GUITAR, WRITES... poetry, and rollerblades.

NativeAmerican/African-American female, 18, 5’5”, 117lbs, very toned, laid-back, a goofball at times, N/S, seeks woman, 18-29. 818596

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BONEVILLE BABE SWF, 31, 5’5”, 130lbs, brown/green, smoker, enjoys playing golf, movies, and picnics at the lake. Seeking WF, 25-40, for friends, possibly more. 818908

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ONLY A WOMAN WILL KNOW GBF, Capricorn, N/S, likes reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports. Seeking outgoing, caring GWF, 27-52, N/S, with similar interests, for dating and more. 850614

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A NEW BEGINNING Attractive and outgoing SWF, 5’ 5”, Athletic build, 20, Aquarius, smoker, loves the outdoors, camping and hiking. Seeking WF, 21-50, for LTR. 751226

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JUST THE FACTS SBPF, 41, Libra, N/S, seeks PF, age and race unimportant, who enjoys dining out, quiet times at home, and movies, for LTR. 730225

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SEEKING STRONG FRIENDSHIP BiWF, 27, 5’8’’, 145lbs, student, enjoys romantic comedies, fall, quiet restaurants. Seeking female for clubbing, shopping, dancing, dining, movies, television. 700095

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LOOKING FOR A FRIEND GBF, 38, black/brown, medium build, N/S, likes dining out, movies, travel, sports. Seeking kind, sweet, honest GBF, 30-38, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. 695904

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ENJOYS BOWLING SBF, 32, Gemini, N/S, 5’3”, 145lbs, mother of one, enjoys movies, the mall, dining, going out to eat, bowling, quiet times at home, seeks woman, 21-38, for friendship, possible romance. 646271

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GET TO KNOW ME SBF, 25, Taurus, N/S, enjoys movies, travel.

Seeking woman, 21-30, N/S, for friendship, possible romance. 803723

LOVES CHILDREN Easygoing, nice SF, 32, looking for someone with the same qualities, 29-39, and a people person. 388943

A LOT TO OFFER Non-smoking GBF, 37, N/S, seeks very attractive, unique, romantic, fun, intelligent, feminine GF, 27-37, for friendship, dating, possibly more.

749660

BEAUTIFUL AND FEMININE GWF, 32, 5’7”, 135lbs, enjoys reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports, music, movies.

Seeking GWF, 25-39, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. 329063

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I WANT TO MEET YOU! GBM, 32, 5’7”, average build, Pisces, N/S, likes reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports.

Seeking outgoing, caring GWM, 24-45, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. 850885

THE SWEETEST THING SBF, 26, 5’8”, 145lbs, wants to get out and have fun with a new friend, maybe more with time.

832018

DIVA WITH DIMPLES Independent DWF, 23, Gemini, smoker, enjoys hip-hop, R&B, and country music. Seeking WF, 20-30, smoker, for friendship, possible romance. 808179

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WHY WAIT? SWF, 38, 5’6”,140lbs, short brown hair, easygoing, enjoys playing golf, the beach. Seeking feminine female, 20-40, to have fun times and more. 448489

© 2003 TPI GROUP

CAN WE TALK ?

Spiritual SWM, 44, Capricorn, smoker, who enjoys the Fall. Seeking AF, 30-50, for LTR. 755341 ACTUAL NICE GUY Handsome, outgoing, open-minded SWM, 5’ 11”, Average build, 51, Leo, smoker, enjoys traveling. Seeking woman, 40-50, for LTR. 733850 HERE I AM! SM, 43, likes playing golf, the outdoors, nature, country music, some rock-n-roll. Would like to get together with a young lady, 27-45, who likes the same things. 703650 COMMITMENT-MINDED SWM, 5’7”, slim build, new to area, enjoys reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports. Seeking SF, 25-47, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. 695638 SEEKS WARRIOR QUEEN Warrior SBM, 29, likes movies, horseback riding, travel, romantic evenings. Seeking warrior queen, 18-29, with similar interests. 695792 LOOKING FOR YOU SWM, 43, Taurus, smoker, likes funny movies.

Seeking WF, 29-35, smoker, for friendship, possible romance. 693348 GETTING TO KNOW YOU SWM, 54, Libra, N/S, loves baseball, jogging, and swimming. Seeking WF, 40-55, for friendship, possible romance. 685199 A SMILE SAYS IT ALL Easygoing SBM, 32, new to area, enjoys dining, sporting events, quiet times home. Seeking SF who enjoys sports and doesn’t always need to be on the go, for romance, LTR. 683984 WELL-ROUNDED MAN Educated SBPM, 41, 5’11”, loves reading, working out, the arts, dining out, travel, quiet times.

Would like to meet SWF, 30-45, with similar interests, for fun, friendship, and maybe more.

442021 ARE YOU LOOKING 4 LOVE? you’ve found it! Honest, trustworthy SM, 33, enjoys drives, cruises, quiet times at home, time with friends, good conversations. Seeking communicative, outgoing, intelligent lady to share friendship and maybe relationship. 681924 HANDY MAN Medium-built, tolerant, clean, financially secure DWM, 48, 5’10”, Aquarius, smoker, with a good sense of humor, enjoys cooking, house work, gardening, reading, music, cuddling. Seeking woman, 35-55, for long-term relationship.

607612 PRINCE CHARMING SM, 25, 6’, 180lbs, brown/brown, truck driver, likes movies, reading, dining out, dancing, sports, travel. Seeking mature, outgoing woman who knows what she wants. 675675 SINGLE DAD Attractive, outgoing SWM, 27, 5’6”, 160lbs, likes movies, dining out, travel, conversation.

Seeking outgoing, caring woman, 18-35, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. 677721 WAITING FOR YOU SBM, 19, with a brown complexion, wants to meet a woman who is through with games, for the fun stuff of life. 656637 HEART OF GOLD SWM, 31, 6’3”, 210lbs, brown/blue, enjoys reading, movies, travel, sports. Seeking outgoing, attractive SF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. 556440 LOOKING FOR MS. RIGHT SWM, 37, 5’9”, 180lbs, enjoys biking, sports, travel, dining out. Seeking outgoing, attractive SF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. 557954

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Classifieds Alt. Lifestyles

THE COLISEUM Wednesday, December 31st New Year’s Eve Gala with Evonne Santoni Friday, January 2nd Sasha Saturday, January 3rd Hot Boy Gabriel

Private Investigator

Rosedale Transport Needs OTR Drivers, both team and solo.

If you have one year experience, CDL Class A with haz-mat, good driving record. Home weekly, 1-800-486-3681 (01/01#8319)

RAY WILLIAMSON & ASSOCIATES Private Investigations 17 years experience Domestic Relations and Child Custody Cases Licensed and Bonded in Georgia & Carolina 706-854-9672 or 706-854-9678 fax (01/01#8327)

Summer Camp Jobs We are looking for outgoing, outdoor-loving, outstanding role models to work as camp staff this summer. Positions are available for overnight camp as well as some day camp oppor tunities. Experience working with youth and/or outdoor programming are a plus. Please submit your resume; At tn: Summer Camp Jobs, 1325 Greene St., Augusta, GA 30901, tperkins@girlscoutscsra.org or fax 706-7740045. EOE (01/01#8321)

**27 VALUABLE TIPS** Free repor t reveals what you should know to get your home sold fast and for top dollar!

Free recorded message 1-877-276-7219 ID#1023 Re/Max Masters, Inc. (01/01#8311)

New Year’s Eve Celebration $10 Cover includes party favors & bottle of champagne

The Best of of Dana Andrews, Tina Renee, Jessica Ladayne, Claire Storm, & Miss Peg. DJ Mark Shakin Yo Tail Feather Midnight Balloon Drop

Drink Specials: WED $9 Wet N' Wild FRI & SAT Famous Beer Bust All You Can Drink $9

Open Mon-Fri 8pm-3am Sat 8pm-2:30am

Fri & Sat. No Cover Before 10 p.m.

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706-733-2603

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Email: ColiseumAugusta@aol.com

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Employment

MARLBORO STATION

Premier Entertainment Complex & High Energy Dance Music

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Pilates

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National Building Systems Company looking for local area dealers. Excellent income oppor tunity! 888-755-2538 (01/01#8317)

1 2 0 0 4

Religion

Equipment WOLFF TANNING BEDS

AFFORDABLE • CONVENIENT Tan At Home Payments From $25/month FREE Color Catalog Call Today 1-800-842-1305 (01/29#6826)

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Meditation & Buddhism: Tuesdays, 7 - 8:30 PM, Jan 13 - 27th at the Unitarian Church of Augusta 3501 Walton Way Ex tension Ganden Center (803) 256-0150 or www.MeditationInSouthCarolina.org (01/01#8322)

Call 738-1142 to place your Classified ad!

Mind, Body & Spirit Full Body Massage!

Therapeutic tension relief, intense or tender touch, rela xing music, aromatherapy, by appointment only - $49.00/hr.

Call Joy - 706-771-9470 or John - 706-868-5598 (01/01#8326)

Turn Your “Trash”* Into Cash!

Fishing for a good deal on real estate in Columbia County WWW.GAHUD.COM (01/01#8312)

Metropolitan Community Church of Our Redeemer A Christian Church reaching to all: including Gay, Lesbian, and Transgendered Christians.

Meeting at 557 Greene Street, 11 am and 6 pm each Sunday. 722-6454 MCCOurRedeemer@aol.com www.mccoor.com (01/01#8128)

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A great way to rela x House & Hotel Calls Only 706-589-9139 (01/01#8316)

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AY

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HT Miller Lit e $1.25 WEDNESD Cold 16 AY NIGHT oz.Killians Red $1.25 TH SDAY Cold 16 NIGHT oz. Bud UR Light $1.25 SU

White Zin NDAY ALL DAY & SMIRN fandel $2.75 OFF ICE $2.50 - Yard $4 yards Specials You keep $3 refills the glass

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y 11am , GA 30 • Frida Augusta idnight eet | 11am-M oad Str Thursday 1245 Br Monday-

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Holiday Hours: New Year’s Eve 11am-8pm • Closed New Year’s Day Slices Served All Day Every Day Drink Specials Daily 1245 BROAD STREET • AUGUSTA, GA 30901 • 774-0037