Metro Spirit 01.08.2004

METRO SPIRIT Augusta’s Independent Voice

Jan. 8-14 Vol. 15 No. 23

Marion Williams

Charles Walker Jr.

Martha Burk

Billy Morris

Augusta Mayor Bob Young

Don Cheeks

Whine Line

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Menu Highlights Flatiron Steak with shallots, red wine and roasted rosemary potatoes $16 Truite en “Bleu” mountain trout sauteed, topped with Gorgonzola blue cheese sauce, nested on braised leeks, spinach and new potatoes $16

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Contents Metro Spirit

The little shop where customers say WOW! Who really cares about what’s in there?

CLOUD NINE! Come check out our latest products!

J A N U A R Y 8 - 1 4 • F R E E W E E K LY • M E T R O S P I R I T. C O M

ON THE COVER

Whine Line Challenge ........................................................................................................... 14 Cover Design: Erin Lummen

Treat yourself to a visit. We’ll treat you to the “Cloud Nine Experience.” We want you to try our products and see for yourself how wonderful they are before you choose the ones that best suit your skin type.

Gift Sets • Free Shipping!

FEATURES

Soaps - Lotions Natural Radiance Body Butter Lip Balms Body Yogurt Tooth Powders Salt Glow Accessories 1036 Broad Street (706) 724-6423 10am-6pm Mon-Sat

Is the J.B. White Project Going To Happen? By Brian Neill............................................... 11

Opinion Words ..................................................................... 4 This Modern World ..................................................4 Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down ......................................4 Letter to the Editor...................................................5 Insider .....................................................................6

Metro

Presenting ... The New Augusta Commission ...........8

Bite

A Little Sunshine on Broad Street ..........................18

Events

8 Days a Week .....................................................20

Arts Ailey II Dances for Augusta ....................................19 Offerings From ACP and Mini Theatre ....................25 Violins, Percussion or Classical Guitar? ..................26

Cinema

• Large private courtyard with fountain accessible from main room

Music

Catchy Melodies Make Diffuser Worth Watching............................32

• Centrally located in historic downtown Augusta

Movie Listings ......................................................28 Close-Up: Brendan Gleeson ...................................30 Review: “Big Fish” .................................................31 Movie Clock ..........................................................31

Music

Catchy Melodies Make Diffuser Worth Watching ....32 In The Spirit ............................................................33 Room 9 Brings Lounge With a Touch of Tiki ............34 Music By Turner .....................................................35 Music Minis ............................................................35 Night Life ...............................................................36

Stuff News of the Weird ................................................39 Amy Alkon: The Advice Goddess ...........................39 Brezsny's Free Will Astrology ................................40 New York Times Crossword Puzzle .......................40 Date Maker ...........................................................41 Classifieds ............................................................43

• On site catering by Roux’s Gourmet Catering • Reception capacity - 300 people EDITOR & PUBLISHER David Vantrease ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Rhonda Jones STAFF WRITERS Stacey Eidson, Brian Neill ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Joe White ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE Kriste Lindler PRODUCTION MANAGER Joe Smith GR APHIC ARTISTS Stephanie Bell, Natalie Holle, Erin Lummen ACCOUNTING MANAGER/CLASSIFIEDS Sharon King ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT ASSISTANT Lisa Jordan SENIOR MUSIC CONTRIBUTOR Ed Turner CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Amy Alkon, Rob Brezsny, Amy Fennell Christian, Rachel Deahl, David Elliot t, Chuck Shepherd CARTOONISTS Tom Tomorrow

METRO SPIRIT is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks of the year. Editorial coverage includes ar ts, local issues, news, enter tainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publishers. Visit us at www.metrospirit.com. Copyright © Metro Spirit, Inc. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. Phone: (706) 738-1142 Fax: (706) 733-6663 E-mail: spirit@metrospirit.com Letters to the Editor: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, Ga. 30914-3809

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Opinion Words “Lee (Beard) was powerful without being loud or boisterous.”

— Georgia Court of Appeals Judge John H. Ruffin Jr., during a speech at the funeral of Augusta Commissioner Lee Beard. After battling cancer for several months, Beard died on New Year’s Eve. Beard was a mighty force on the commission and those who knew him were always certain of one thing: When he spoke, he meant every word he said. You can’t say that about many elected officials. Beard’s death is a great loss, not only to his friends and family, but to the entire city of Augusta.

Thumbs Up The Spirit has made it to Mars. That’s right. On Jan. 4, NASA proudly presented the public with the first photographs of the Red Planet from the six-wheeled, battery-operated Mars rover, nicknamed Spirit. The Spirit rover will spend the next 90 days analyzing rocks and soil from the planet.

Hopes are high for the rover, and we particularly like its name. Good luck, Spirit.

CORRECTION An article in the Jan. 1-7 edition of the Metro Spirit on the Petersburg boat operated by the Augusta Canal Authority gave an incorrect timetable for weekend rides. Weekend rides, weather and demand permitting, are offered at 11 a.m. and 1:30 and 3 p.m. on Saturdays only.

To check availability or reserve a ride, call (706) 823-7089.

Thumbs Down Something still stinks to high heaven about the investigation into Superior Court Judge Duncan Wheale and it appears the matter is far from over, as evidenced by a Dec. 24 story in the Fulton County Daily Report, a Georgia journal for the legal profession.

The story, written by local Augusta Chronicle reporter Sandy Hodson, quoted Wheale’s attorney, former Attorney General Michael Bowers, as saying that he planned to “get to the bottom of” why people tried to send his client to prison for, among other things, allegedly threatening someone in a hearing room with a gun.

An Alcovy Circuit district attorney closed the investigation without pursuing prosecution.

In the article, Wheale still maintained that the whole thing stemmed from his accusing Superior Court Chief Judge William Fleming of nepotism, supposedly helping to secure a cushy, public defender job for his son.

Back in November, Fleming told the Metro Spirit, which initially broke the Wheale story, that he had no involvement in any alleged plot against Wheale.

One thing’s for sure: Somebody’s lying, and there will be a blot on Augusta’s court system until this thing’s resolved.

Letter to the Editor

5

Hey, Dog: Reader “Raps” Nokia Sugar Bowl

S P I R I T

M E T R O

A SOLO PIANO CONCERT

J A N 8

Dear Editor: First thing tomorrow, I’m going to my local cell phone provider to trade in my two Nokia cell phones for two of anything else. Doesn’t matter if it costs me hundreds of dollars more. I don’t care.

The reason? Simple.

(Think “Rap” beat.)

I’m a football fan, been subjected to D. Dogg: Been watchin’ the Sugar Bowl and my mind is in a fog. Didn’t make no sense to me, dem ads wuz full of rap. I’m just an ol’ white lady and those ads to me were crap.

The language was subculture, the point was surely muddled. My homey (“white” for hubby) looked at me, as he was too befuddled. “Did you understand a single word he uttered? What’s happened to spoken English,” disgustedly he muttered.

“Is that some foreign language — are we not ‘in the loop?’ “No dear,” I replied. That’s the lingo of the Snoop.”

What the hell! Has Nokia gone mad?

These ads don’t just stink — they’re light years beyond bad.”

Viewers, white and educated, and a little over 50, don’t think Snoop Dogg rapper ads are particularly nifty. Hey! I’m not a racist — it’s just a stone cold fact, that rappers don’t represent the best aspect of blacks.

If I were black, I’d raise some hell at Nokia and others who portray black Americans as jive-talk, home-boy brothers. Hell yes, I’m offended too by your narrow market tone, and that’s why I’ll be trading in my Nokia cell phone.

— G. C. Evans A Former Nokia Phone Owner

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Tickets $20 in advance at Golden Harvest Food Bank.

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Opinion: Insider

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Perdue Interference Helps, Hinders Kuhlke

G

eorgia Governor Sonny Perdue has weighed in with his preference on who should represent the Ninth District on the Department of Transportation (DOT) Board.

Perdue’s endorsement of former Augusta Commissioner Bill Kuhlke Sonny Perdue over Columbia County attorney Bill Coleman helps Kuhlke but likely helps current 9th District DOT board member Jimmy Lester even more.

As previously reported in The Insider, 9th District legislators will vote on Jan. 14 to elect a DOT board member to represent the district. Both Kuhlke and Coleman have lobbied legislators in an effort to unseat Lester.

Because Kuhlke and Coleman are Bill Kuhlke Republicans and Lester is a lifelong Democrat, the conventional wisdom early on centered around the likelihood of the Republican-leaning 9th District legislators voting for a Republican. Now, that’s no longer a certainty, especially since the governor has “meddled” in the legislative decision-making process.

Democrats from the district are solidly behind Lester. Now, because Perdue has attempted to influence the process, some Jimmy Lester Republican legislators are upset and may vote for Lester to send a message to Perdue to

mind his own business. If enough Republican legislators react in this manner, Lester could squeak by for another five-year term. Legislators vote by secret ballot so ...

Another irritant to several 9th District legislators is the perception that Perdue’s endorsement of Kuhlke was prompted by 9th District U.S. Congressman Charlie Norwood. Perdue and Norwood are close. Norwood and his political operatives were instrumental in getting Perdue elected governor.

Many Republican leaders and party loyalists think Norwood is a control freak who interferes with state and local Republican politics a bit too much.

Several of these elected officials are in the 9th District and may want to demonstrate to Perdue and Norwood that Charles Norwood they should butt out. It is probable that several Republican legislators will vote for Lester for that reason. Kuhlke could be a casualty in this political squabble.

We’ll see.

Hall Joins Law Firm State Sen. Randy Hall (R-22) has left the law offices of Savannah- Randy Hall based Hunter Maclean and joined the local firm of Warlick, Tritt and Stebbins. The law firm will now be known as Warlick, Tritt, Stebbins and Hall. Hunter Maclean will close its Augusta office.

— The views expressed in this column are the views of The Insider and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : Truth is stranger than fiction!

See News of the Weird

7

WHAT'S HAPPENING . . .

AT FORT DISCOVERY

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StarLab Kidscape Paul S. Simon Discovery Theater PowerStation Science Store Martian Towers Birthday Parties Corporate Events Summer Camps Camp-Ins

437 Highland Ave, Surrey Center 706.737.6699 • Fax 706.733.8644 Mon-Sat Lunch & Dinner

Member Benefits And Don’t Forget the REALLY Cool Exhibits!

January 24 - Mars Rover Project Exhibit Opening Visit the science center's newest permanent exhibit featuring a 400 SF Mars Rover Yard, Personal Rovers and Control Consoles. The exhibit will include informative posters and static displays. A variety of workshops and activities are being developed in conjunction with the new exhibit. For further information contact Cheryl Zimmerman at 706-821-0224.

January 24, 7:30 p.m. - Space Discovery 2004 $45/person Fort Discovery - Member; $50/person - Non-Member.

Fund-raiser for Fort Discovery featuring space-themed decorations; entertainment provided by Patrick Blanchard; food stations; open bars including a wine bar, martini bar and coffee/cordial bar; caricature artist. A limited number of $100 raffle tickets will be sold for a chance to win a behind-the- scenes tour of the Kennedy Space Center for a family of four led by astronaut and National Science Center CEO Joe Edwards. $10 raffle tickets will be sold for a chance to win a spacethemed Fort Discovery Birthday Party. For details contact Rich Slaby at 706-821-0305 or Kathy Nixon at 706-373-4439.

Jan. 26-Feb. 6 - Rainforests at the Crossroads Students from Georgia and South Carolina will attend live broadcasts during Dr. Bob Ballard's expedition to the Isthmus of Panama.

Students will explore the unique role the Isthmus of Panama and its tropical rainforests play in furthering our global understanding of the interchange between Earth's dynamis systems. To find out how you can receive JASON training and get your class involved in the JASON Project contact Rebecca Chase at 706-821-0630.

January 31 - JASON Project XV Public Day Live broadcast times will be at 10 a.m.; 11:30 a.m.; 1 p.m. and 2:30 p.m. Free with paid general admission. Bring the whole family to Fort Discovery and attend an exciting Rainforests at the Crossroads live broadcast in the Discovery Theatre. For further information contact Rebecca Chase at 706-821-0630.

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MetroBeat

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Presenting ... The New Augusta Commission

By Stacey Eidson

F

or the city of Augusta, 2004 looks to be the year of change ... or perhaps, the year of the woman.

Not since voters approved consolidation back in 1995 has the local government experienced such a drastic transformation in a single day as during the Augusta Commission’s first meeting of the year.

Following a week filled with sorrow over the recent death of Augusta Commissioner Lee Beard on the morning of New Year’s Eve from cancer, commissioners managed to achieve the impossible by turning their grief into one of the most extraordinary tributes to a commissioner in the history of Augusta.

Just minutes after the Augusta Commission unanimously voted to support Augusta Mayor Bob Young’s recommendation to name the commission chambers in honor of Beard, commissioners had a much bigger surprise in store.

Young asked that Clerk of Commission Lena Bonner read an amendment to the commission’s regular agenda.

“This is a resolution to approve the appointment of Mrs. Betty Beard to the District 1 commission seat to fill the unexpired term of Commissioner Lee Beard,” Bonner said on Jan. 6.

There was a huge smile stretched across each commissioner’s face as all 10 voted in support of making Lee Beard’s widow their new colleague and the very first woman to be appointed to represent Augusta-Richmond County since consolidation.

The audience in the commission chamber gave Betty Beard a standing ovation as she approached Superior Court Judge Duncan Wheale to be sworn in as a new commissioner.

Wheale, who was present earlier in the meeting to help swear in newly elected

Augusta Commissioner Andy Cheek with newly appointed Commissioner Betty Beard commissioners Jimmy Smith and Don Grantham, joked with the audience about the commission’s ability to keep the appointment of Betty Beard a secret.

“I’d like to note, Superior Court judges usually aren’t told what to do,” Wheale said smiling.

“But I was told to stay (in the chambers) because there would be a surprise.”

Betty Beard was sworn in surrounded by several family members, including her grown daughter, April, and former Augusta Mayor Ed McIntyre.

As Betty Beard took her seat, Young announced, “Betty, we are happy to have you here and congratulate you on your service as the first female member of this board.”

Cheers were heard throughout the commission chamber.

“It’s such an honor,” Betty Beard quietly said as she shook nearby Augusta Commissioner Andy Cheek’s hand. “Such an honor.”

Following the ceremony, Betty Beard said she was overwhelmed by the commission’s appointment of her.

“It was such a surprise,” she said. “I didn’t know anything about it until yesterday.”

When she was approached by members of the commission and asked whether she would accept the appointment, Betty Beard said she turned to her family for advice.

“My sister and those around me felt that it would be a wonderful opportunity and

said that I should consider it,” she said. “I never really thought of being a politician.

But I feel I’m here to continue Lee’s job as commissioner. And I think he did a wonderful job.”

Betty Beard said after she received overwhelming support from her family, she knew accepting her husband’s former seat was the right decision.

“That’s the way our family does things.

We discuss it together,” Betty Beard said.

“Lee and I would always laugh that, when we were trying to decide whether to do something, our discussions could go on for days, but normally when we made a decision, it was the right decision.”

However, when Lee Beard first decided continued on page 10

“The only person that I know in this whole city that has the strength, courage and tenacity of Lee Beard is Betty Beard and her district will be served well with her dedication and concern for the community.”

– Augusta Commissioner Andy Cheek

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M E T R O S P I R I T J A N 8 2 0 0 4

10 continued from page 8 M E T R O S P I R I T J A N 8 2 0 0 4

to run for the Augusta City Council in 1992, Betty Beard recalled, it was the first time she realized how important public service was to him.

“Politics for us started when, one day we went home and Lee told my sister, ‘I’m going to run for office,’” Betty Beard said.

“And I looked at him and said, ‘Oh, you’re not going to run for office. If you run for office, you can’t win because you don’t live in an area where you can win.’”

“And he replied, ‘I’m going to move into the city. And you can come with me if you want to,’” Betty Beard added, laughing.

Betty Beard said she sat down and listened to why her husband wanted to run for office and understood how strongly he felt about trying to work toward the best interests of the community.

“So, after about a week, I knew he was serious and we were going to move to the city,” Betty Beard said. “We moved into this small little apartment at the Maxwell House and stayed there for two years and eventually moved someplace else. But that’s how it all started.

“I gave up my home and gave up everything to be with him.”

Betty Beard said she’s recently been thinking back to those early days.

“The first time he won, I remember on the day of the election, I told the people of Augusta that he made a promise that he was going to do all he could to help them,” Betty Beard said. “And I said I was going to see to it that he followed through on that promise. I do believe he did, but I would like to carry on that promise.”

Following the appointment of Betty Beard, the commission needed to choose a new city attorney to fill the position being vacated by Jim Wall.

Wall, who had served as the attorney of the county government from 1993 to 1995 and the consolidated government since 1996, thanked the commissioners for selecting him to serve as their attorney through consolidation.

“The challenge of consolidation was something that was truly intriguing; it was a legal challenge,” Wall said. “It required a great deal of time and effort, but it was something that I thought was worthwhile and it was something I enjoyed doing.”

Following Wall’s notice to the commission last fall that he was not seeking to be reappointed as city attorney, the city advertised for the position and received four

possible candidates including local attorneys Stanley Jackson, Paul Dunbar, former state Rep. Ben Allen and Augusta Commissioner Steve Shepard.

For months, speculation has been that the commission would elect Shepard to take over Wall’s position.

That speculation proved to be correct, but it didn’t come without some controversy.

Augusta Commissioner Marion Williams felt that the commission should take more time reviewing all the applicants before selecting an attorney that the city could potentially end up paying more than $500,000 a year.

“This is not an argument against this fine gentlemen and this fine attorney,” Williams said of Shepard. “It’s about being fair.”

However, the majority of the commission disagreed with Williams and with a vote of 7-0-3, Shepard was appointed as the new city attorney.

Commissioners Richard Colclough, Shepard and Williams abstained from voting on the motion.

Following his approval, Shepard thanked the commission and pledged to continue in the “fine tradition” set by Wall.

“It’s a high standard,” Shepard said.

“They’re big shoes to fill. I’m very aware of that and I’m happy to continue to do just that.”

Shepard also assured Williams that he had no hard feelings against his decision to abstain on his appointment.

“The partnership of Mays, Williams and Shepard will continue,” Shepard said, referring to an on-going joke he has with the two commissioners that they are legal partners. “Mr. Williams, I don’t get unanimous consent at my house or in my law firm, so I’m used to that. So, I take your comments in that spirit and I appreciate that.”

As Shepard gave the clerk his letter of resignation as commissioner of District 3, he turned to the newly appointed Betty Beard seated beside him.

“Mrs. Betty, I think that’s probably the briefest I’ve ever served with anybody, but I’ll be here with you because I’m not leaving,” he said, as he headed to the city attorney’s chair.

But Betty Beard would not be without a fellow commissioner seated next to her for long because minutes after Shepard vacated his seat, Augusta Commissioner Tommy Boyles made a motion to appoint local Republican and businesswoman Barbara Sims as the new commissioner for District 3.

Former Commissioner Steve Shepard takes his seat as Augusta’s new city attorney Boyles’ motion was unanimously accepted by the commission.

“We’ve got two women in one day,” Young enthusiastically said, as an astonished Sims prepared to be sworn into office.

After the meeting, Sims said she had no idea that she would be accepting the commission seat that day.

“I’m thrilled and I’m just so looking forward to it,” Sims said. “And I’m surprised that it was today, but I’m really happy about it and I’ll work really hard in hopes of winning the permanent seat.”

Both Sims and Betty Beard will serve in their appointed seats until a special election can be held on July 20.

As veteran commissioners congratulated and welcomed their four new colleagues – Sims, Grantham, Smith and Betty Beard – many were pleasantly shocked by the day’s turn of events.

“It’s a great day,” Cheek said, as he sat next to Betty Beard. “The only person that I know in this whole city that has the strength, courage and tenacity of Lee Beard is Betty Beard and her district will be served well with her dedication and concern for the community.

“With the Beards, District 1 always had two commissioners with Lee and Betty.

Now, Lee has gone on to heaven and left his better half behind to take over his job.”

Augusta Commissioner Willie Mays, who in another political surprise of the day was named mayor pro tem, said Augusta had made great strides that day.

“We made history twice in one day,” Mays said. “To see two women that were sworn in on the same day, even though they were replacing commissioners under two different circumstances, certainly makes me personally proud.

“Our diversity on this commission, as well in this city, is still our biggest strength and when we learn how to use it together, this is really going to be a great place.”

Mays, a longtime friend of Lee Beard, also said he was overwhelmed with joy that Betty Beard agreed to serve in her husband’s former seat.

“Nobody knows him any better than that lady and she really does want to serve,” Mays said. “And I guess, personally speaking, I know she says she wants to serve through the interim period, but she will get the opportunity to experience being a commissioner herself, and quite frankly, I hope she loves it. Then, maybe we can talk her into running.”

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Is the

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J.B.White Project Going To

By Brian Neill

W

and businesses says he knows some people are wondering when, or if, the project will ever move forward.

After all, on its face, the project has all the appearances of going nowhere fast.

But Turner Simkins, a member of Augusta Renaissance Partners, LLC, assures skeptics that change is on the horizon.

“We just recently got a new construction bid on the project and have been talking to a lender in Atlanta,” Simkins said. “Before we decided to take the leap, a couple of partners wanted to kind of assess all the properties we have.

“We’re planning on developing it. It’s just taking forever. I mean, if we weren’t going to

do it, we’d sell it.”

The proposal to redevelop the J.B. White building was enthusiastically received when it was first announced back in 1999.

Like other downtown businesses, J.B. White was left vacant during the mall craze of the late 1970s and the ’80s.

Since that time, city officials have struggled to put life back into the cavernous shells of those former downtown department stores left behind in the suburbia-bound wake.

City officials also were optimistic about the proposed J.B. White makeover because the plan involved Clay Boardman, then-owner of the Smile gas chain and the entrepreneur

S P I R I T J A N 8 2 0 0 4

Happen?

alk past the front of the former J.B. White building at 932 Broad St., and one finds the same “Coming Soon” sign on an easel that’s been there for the past several years.

A half-dressed, one-armed mannequin stands surreal sentry duty at the front door of the former department store. Nearby, a code enforcement permit from 1999 taped to the inside of the window is still visible, despite a dose of gold spray paint from a graffiti artist.

One of the partners in a group that has had plans for more than four years to develop the former J.B. White building into apartments

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responsible for the transformation of the defunct Enterprise Mill into upscale, loft apartments and office space.

In addition to Simkins and Boardman, other members in Augusta Renaissance Partners include local businessmen Tommy Blanchard, Julian Roberts and Clay Boardman’s brother, Braye Boardman.

Simkins, who’s been designated as the media point of contact for the project, said that the number of people involved in Augusta Renaissance Partners sometimes works against the group.

“There are a lot of partners and, consecontinued on page 13

12 M E T R O S P I R I T J A N 8 2 0 0 4

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Turner Simkins continued from page 11 quently, there’s a lot of coordination,” Simkins said. “It’s a lot easier when it’s just one or two people.”

Simkins, however, said that remark shouldn’t be construed to mean they don’t get along.

“All of us are very enthusiastic about it (the

project),” Simkins said. “We’re all friends and we all work together really well.”

Interviewed in 2000, roughly a year after the project was announced to place 36 apartments and retail and office space in the old J.B. White building, Simkins said the devel-

opment group was waiting for the political climate downtown to cool down before moving forward.

At the time, members of Curtis Baptist Church had just convinced the Augusta Commission to deny an alcohol license for a downtown restaurant, even though it met all the distance requirements from the church.

Former City Administrator Randy Oliver had also left for greener pastures, leaving behind what some perceived to be a period of uncertainty in local government.

“And now the whole political system is in disarray,” Simkins said at the time. “We’re a joke. We’re a regional joke.”

Even so, in 2001 there were signs that the project was ready to move forward. The developers had received a $45,000 grant from the county’s Housing and Neighborhood Development department to restore a canopy over Broad Street at the building’s front entrance. The group had also refurbished a suspended walkway over Ellis Street at the back of the building that connected J.B. White to a warehouse, which the group also owns.

Since that time, however, little visible work has been done to the building, despite the fact that the Augusta Common and soon-to-beopen school board offices in the old Davidson Building have cropped up around it.

Simkins said he already has talked with retailers interested in occupying the first floor of the J.B. White building.

Ideas have been floated for a café, as well as an upscale-type market that would sell things like wine and cheeses, Simkins said.

However, while Simkins acknowledges that having retail tenants in place would be nice from an income standpoint, it wouldn’t be feasible until the entire project was ready to move forward.

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“Unfortunately, you can’t really put anybody 13 in there currently, because you’ve got to have all the new air-conditioning units and all this ME stuff that has to go upstairs,” Simkins said. “It T R would be very disruptive for the tenants, because once we decided to do the apartments O we’d be punching holes in the roof and the S ceiling and all that kind of stuff and it would P I probably be disruptive to their business.”

R Augusta Renaissance Partners also owns I several buildings behind J.B. White on Ellis T Street, which the group plans to develop into J townhouse dwellings, with parking in firstA floor garages.

N Simkins said the group based that idea on London’s “mews” buildings, which are stables 8 or carriage houses that have been developed 2 0 into homes.

Acknowledging that Augusta Renaissance 0 4 Partners has had to do a lot of numberjuggling to make the J.B. White project work, Simkins said the current financial picture looks bright.

“You’ve got all these tax credit issues and other stuff associated with it, but the lender we’ve been talking to recently, the numbers look much better,” Simkins said. “I mean, it would work.”

The group’s new financial calculations, coupled with new businesses popping up downtown, have served to convince Simkins that progress will soon be seen on the J.B. White project.

“Downtown is on a good roll right now and I think the timing for something to happen is right,” Simkins said. “We’re all very pleased with the way things are going right now. The demand for the project is there; we’ve done a market analysis. It’s just a matter of doing it.

“I know everybody’s probably frustrated, but it’s going to happen.”

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Whine Line

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For those long-time readers of the Metro Spirit, checking out Augusta’s gripes about the community and jabs at local leaders in the Whine Line has become a weekly tradition.

However, it’s time to raise the bar on these popular public bashes. We want to see more than people whining about annoying cellular phones and poorly-planned construction on I-20. We want to hear what is really going on in Augusta. What’s right and what’s just plain ridiculous.

We are issuing a Whine Line challenge. The following is a list of some of the best whines in 2003. They’re not bad, but we want better. Come on Augusta, whine your troubles away!

I

f I point a gun at someone and threaten them, would Judge Wheale find me innocent?

Geez, after all the blue lights and black and gray sedans that I just saw, I thought they should rename the September 2003 First Friday “Lotsapolice-a.” I haven’t seen that many black and gray clad Gestapo since Munich in ‘38! Is this how it’s gonna be from now on? My gosh, I felt like I was in a third-world police state. Perhaps they felt I was.

Only in Augusta can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Champ Walker is a treasure. You can’t beat having someone like him around to laugh at. Looking at the camera, waving with that huge smile on his face while the FBI and GBI raid his daddy’s office, is a priceless image I’ll keep with me for a while. He reminds me of the idiot son from the “Smokey and the Bandit”

movies who tried to keep his dad’s hat from blowing off.

Congratulations to First Baptist for trying new ways of getting new followers into church in these trying times. Boxing Baptists are indeed a great attraction.

However, mud wrestling Baptists are where it’s at. Keep up the good work.

I have a solution for the flag controversy.

We should have a white background with a peach, a chicken and a peanut on it. These represent the major products and exports of the state: kaolin, peaches, chickens and peanuts. They can also have a second meaning. The peach would also represent the citizens of Georgia; the chicken would represent the moral courage of the legislature; and the peanut would represent the intellectual level of our politicians.

Robin Williams has said that his company, International Consulting Corp., is “an umbrella of companies that does consulting and provides insurance and financial services.” Does that translate to the possibility that Columbia County Sen. Joey Brush and Rep. Ben Harbin are also parties to the consortium? After all, they have shared an office with Williams for years ... Doesn’t smell good. In fact it stinks!

Rush bites the big one. It must break your hearts to hear the truth about your junkie hero, you whining, bed-wetting, redneck conservatives.

Charles Walker Jr.

On behalf of Columbia County, thank you very much Green County Partnership of Greenville, Tenn., for hiring Bryan Quinsey. In spite of questions about his performance in Columbia County, no one in either the Metro Chamber or on the County Commission had the spine to deal with Quinsey. Good luck Green County!

There he goes again. Mayor Bob is back to talking first and thinking later. His encouragement of vendors getting peddler’s licenses to circumvent the 10 p.m. curfew on First Friday is so stupid that the only person who agreed with him

Does anybody else in Augusta know what Chris Naylor does, except walk up and down Broad Street smoking a pack of cigarettes a day?

Augusta Mayor Bob Young was Marion Williams. Young and Williams, what a pair. Has Bob replaced Andy Cheek as Marion’s twin?

The “family values” Republicans may brag about getting rid of Cynthia McKinney and Charles Walker, but at least those two have never been accused of being soft on people convicted of sexual battery on kids. How about Republican Don Cheeks?

Why is it that, when you call the Richmond County Board of Education and ask to speak to the senior leadership people, their phones always rolls over to the secretary’s voice mail?

So, the big boys are going to put the civic center out of its misery. Not a bad thought. I’m just curious, though. Do we want to completely do away with oversight on this public-private venture?

The devil is in the details. We need to make sure the taxpayers don’t get taken.

In the time of the $640 million budget shortfall, it’s good to see Rep. Joey Brush taking care of the important business like motorcycle helmet laws, sparklers and the flag issue. Keep up the good work Joey!

For the life of me, I know Bob Young has no vote, but can anyone tell me where he stands on any of the issues facing this city?

Thank goodness MSNBC pulled the plug on Phil Donahue and said adios to him.

When Phil Kent appeared as a guest on his show last month, I knew Donahue was scraping the bottom of a barrel. Did Donahue really think Kent would boost his TV ratings? Fat chance! Kent will now have to find another TV talk show to fulfill his fat ego.

Turning gay from watching “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” is just as likely as turning black from watching the “Cosby Show” or turning into a frog from watching the Muppets.

I nearly fell off my chair when I read that the community mental health

15

tunes, up-to-the-minute news and, Harley (Drew) added plenty of fun.” Seems like the Spirit doesn’t have a problem with a media monopoly as long as it’s not their competition. What a bunch of hypocrites.

M E T R O

Can’t say I’m sorry to see Austin Rhodes gone. Getting him out of the Spirit is rather like taking out the garbage.

However, I was eagerly looking forward to his column on “The sanctity and integrity of marriage.”

S P I R I T J A N

Please explain to me how going to Hangnail Gallery and wearing all black makes you cool? Goth and punk died before most of you were born.

Phil Kent administrator, Jim Points, gets over $125,000 a year. For this position are there any special qualifications or is it adequate just to be a friend of failed politician Robin Williams?

No alcohol on Sunday? Is there some way I could designate myself as a pagan, atheist, true non-believer or other blasphemer (unspecified) on my state driver’s license so that I can buy liquor here in the Bible Belt? I mean if I’m going to list myself as an organ donor, make it worth my while!

Come on, Danny Craig, you continue to mislead people with your quotes in the Spirit. How can you possibly think we’re stupid enough to buy your ridiculous comments? You have not been “forthcoming” as you state and you did offer assistance in the sex offender case. How can you say that you said “no” to the request for assistance? You are in denial, Craig, or worse: You’re knowingly not telling the truth. You don’t deserve to be the district attorney.

Can there be a more silly sight in Augusta than Billy Morris in a suit, tie and a cowboy hat?

Did you hear Brad Owens on Austin Rhodes last week? The guy was a Jeep driver in Kuwait who never saw combat, yet he’s giving Bush and Rumsfeld specific advice as to the exact force structure needed in order to win in Iraq.

Right down to the number and size of each combat force ...

I just saw the finance director is leaving the airport. Does Augusta keep count?

That is two directors, two interim directors, two finance directors, and four (count them, four) marketing directors in less than four years. Plus an aviation commissioner is married to the airport fire chief. Isn’t that a conflict of interest?

Come on Augusta, wake up and smell the sewage plant at the airport.

I don’t understand why we would need or allow Billy (Morris) or Frank (Lawrence) to have our civic center.

Putting up less than one percent of the total cost of a facility, then being allowed to run it? Keep your money and let the ones who pay for it run it: The taxpayers.

As a downtown resident, I would like to propose that Curtis Baptist Church funnel some of the tithing into a parking lot. This business of illegally consuming lanes of traffic without any lights, cones or markers is a hazard, especially at night, and needs to result in some towing, or at least some hefty fines. Take some public transportation! Or hike it! I hear Jesus was a bit of a walker ...

So let me get this straight. The Spirit used a cover story a month or two ago to talk about the drawbacks of a media market dominated by a single entity (Billy Morris). But then the Spirit’s WBBQ article comes out and it’s proudly crowing about how the station basically steam-rolled over the entire market with, in the Spirit’s cutesy words, “rockin’

8

Request for Proposals HOPE VI Application Preparation and Consulting Implementation The Housing Authority of the City of Augusta, Georgia (AHA) is seeking a company, firm or consulting team to assist in the preparation of a 2004 HOPE VI application and on-going program services for the revitalization of Gilbert Manor, Project GA06P001003R, a low-rent public housing development consisting of 278 units. An original and two copies of a proposal in response to the Request for Proposals shall be submitted no later than 4:00 PM on February 4, 2004 to Jacob L. Oglesby, Executive Director, Augusta Housing Authority, J. Madden Reid Administrative Building, 1425 Walton Way, Augusta, Georgia 30901. Please visit our web page at www.augustapha.org to access the Request for Proposals.

Jacob L. Oglesby Executive Director

www.metrospirit.com HISTORIC DOWNTOWN AIKEN Features

A Once a Month Art Walk From 6 pm to 9pm

January 15

Billy Morris

We can thank Don Grantham for the dysfunctional, do-nothing city commission we live with today. He and his long-time pal, Charles Walker, didn’t like the consolidation charter Augusta voters approved in two public referenda, so they concocted a plan of their own. Grantham invited a handful of power brokers to a secret meeting in his office on Thanksgiving Day, 1993, and negotiated the current city-county consolidation charter for Boss Walker. We all know how that turned out. We should not reward Grantham for what he did to our town by reinstalling him in a commission seat where he can wheel and deal like he did before. Remember that the voters in District 7 tossed him out over his wheeling and dealing.

To the whiner who complained that the Metro Spirit does not print the right wing facts: What facts?

Let us thank Mayor Bob Young and his henchmen, David Barbee and Wayne Hawkins, for allowing Commissioner continued on page 16

February 19 March 18 Rabold Gallery 146A Laurens Street SW 803-641-4405 The Jackson Gallery 300 Park Avenue SE 803-648-7397 The Arnold Gallery 321 Richland Avenue West 803-502-1100

April 15 May 20 Aiken Center for the Arts and Aiken Artist Guild 122 Laurens Street SW 803-641-9094 Studio 143 SW 143 Laurens Street SW Loft Studios 116 Laurens Street SW

Artists’ Parlor Craft Gallery 126 Laurens Street NW 803-648-4639 Southern Moon Pottery 310 Richland Avenue West 803-641-2309 Connie’s Framing 3331/2 Park Avenue SW 803-643-3696 Logo By Chris Cardelli

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16 M E T R O S P I R I T J A N 8 2 0 0 4

THE CATHOLIC CHURCH OF THE MOST HOLY TRINITY

continued from page 15 I’m going to start my own reality show; it’s going to be called “Hunt down the reality show producers and hit them with a baseball bat!”

I was watching TV the other day and saw Mechelle Jordan who used to be on the news ... Since it is a taxpayer-funded position, can we ask what the pay and benefits are? Why did this lady leave the TV news and who hired her?

HARPSICHORD RECITAL Janet Hunt Sunday, Jan. 18th 4:00 P.M. Featuring works by Byrd, Scarlatti, Couperin & Bach

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Marion Williams Marion Williams service to Augusta.

Thanks a lot fellows!

Dozens of beautiful young girls, ages 714, half-naked in bikinis, soaking wet and soaping up your SUV on a hot Saturday afternoon in back of a gas station. Sound like child pornography or a pedophile’s dream come true? Wrong: It’s your local schools and churches selling the bodies of adolescents for a youth group fundraiser or cheerleading camp.

Rep. Burmeister, cut the whining and get on with governing. I lost all respect for you when you changed your voter registration to a place that you do not live in.

You are no better than a yellow-dog Democrat.

What has Bonnie Ruben done with her self-professed business acumen all these years? Inheriting property and businesses does not make one a businessperson. How about her quote that she thought the tree growing from the roof of one of her inherited, shuttered businesses downtown was “pretty”? Augusta is truly leaderless when airheads like her get so much ink.

It’s a hoot to see the Augusta Commission considering a resolution to ask the state attorney general’s office to investigate state Senator Don Cheeks and District Attorney Danny Craig’s involvement in the Brassell case. Why don’t they call for a public vote of confidence in the Augusta commission? It wouldn’t take long to tabulate that vote.

Sometimes we all fail to look at the sunny side of life. Just think: We won’t have to take the kids to Riverbanks Zoo during Masters week. We can drive them by the entrance to Magnolia Lane to see all the wild animals.

Wake up Augusta! If you think Billy (Morris) and Frank (Lawrence) are hockey fans, then you must think Bush really cares about the people in Iraq.

They want the civic center and he wants oil and ties to the Middle East. Hockey fans of Augusta, enjoy your last season — if it even happens.

Julia Roberts receives a gift basket worth $20,000 for a couple of minutes spent presenting an Oscar and reading cue cards. Barry Bonds gets about $25,000 each time he goes up to bat. A corporal in the Army in Iraq, working 24-hour days, gets about $2.50 an hour.

Don Cheeks Well, it seems that the management of Channel 26 is now the sole determiner of what we get to watch. They decided not to show the NBC show “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” because they thought they would offend local sensibilities.

Isn’t it odd that they were the only

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station in the United States to do that?

Does the Channel 26 management think they know more than we do about what is good for us?

agreed that the Soul Bar is one place in Augusta that, if anything ever happened to it, it would be worth moving rather than staying here without it.

Georgia’s new flag would look horrible on a belt buckle, a bandanna and a beach towel. Therefore, we need a new one.

Mayor Boob, why do you have to use former U.S. Rep. Doug Barnard as your liaison? I thought that Augusta has a mayor pro tem and nine other commissioners. Surely you are speaking to at least one of these persons ...

Columbia County Commission Chair Ron “Double” Cross raised over $55,000, to run for his position. He spent over $53,000 including $9,000 of his own money, and the job only pays $12,000 per year. Why would anyone spend like that? Does he think it will give him a leg up on commercial construction jobs?

Does he have a super ego to be fed? I would vote “Yes” to both of the above!

State Senator Joey Brush is at it again, trying to get the motorcycle helmet law repealed. It just goes to prove that if you have a $2 head, there’s no need to protect it!

My whine is for all you gullible Republicans. If President Bush told you manure was apple pie, you would ask for another slice.

The mayor’s most brain-dead idea is the reopening of Albion Street downtown to traffic, including destroying Albion’s courtyard in the process. Nobody will use Albion except prostitutes, pushers and drunks. To walk in the footsteps of the unfortunate, the mayor and the city commissioners should use wheelchairs and walkers to move from the Richmond Summit to Augusta Common before opening Albion. Not much fun, right?

Augusta leaders are simply insensitive about ill and poor people.

Do you know you can read The Chronicle a day before it comes out? It’s called The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

I was once a great supporter of a retired dentist who ran for Congress. Yes, his first years were marked by excellent service to the community, but now a beltway boy named Charlie Norwood has unfortunately replaced him. Try writing a letter or getting support from the office of Washington Charlie. Hell, you get a wad of arrogant legislative psycho-babble that would make Clinton wet his double polyester pants. Fellow conservatives, it is now more than apparent that Charlie went to Washington and forgot who he was. It is time to find a new voice in the district. One has only to check the recent bizarre votes on airport security and other big government programs to see the influence of Washington on Charlie. Or is it Charles now?

The FBI and CIA can’t find bin Laden but Eric Rudolph was caught by a rookie cop.

There he goes again! Barry Paschal seems to think Linda Schrenko was terrific because of her Columbia County roots.

Sorry, Barry, it takes more than “roots” to be a competent superintendent. It would also be neat if we could elect people who are smart, committed and aboveboard in their job performance. Schrenko failed the test on all three counts.

I frankly do not want one penny of my tax money going for a new entertainment center in Richmond County. Yes, I am a Columbia County taxpayer and I do not intend to support a rat hole.

My friends and I were talking the other day about the Soul Bar fire and we all

Joey Brush I was really happy to read that the airport commissioners got back on their lithium.

I sure am glad the economy failed so I can move back in with my parents and work for six dollars an hour. Now the opposite sex just totally digs me. They say, “I always wanted a pasty, cheap polo shirt-wearing person who lives with his mom!” They parachute onto the lawn of the apartment building I live in, champagne in hand, saying, “We want you!” Kill me now.

Now that you mention it, I do see that First Friday guy strolling around downtown smoking like an oncoming freight train. Dude, it’s called the patch.

And iron every once in a while.

Judge Duncan Wheale appears to be a loose cannon on the bench. Whether people are out to get him, as he says, or not, his actions in the court seem odd.

The transcript you published of the reported gun incident is a good indication of where the judge is coming from.

What a power trip he’s on. I hope he gets thrown off the bench if the allegations prove to be true.

diapers before you leave. If you need help reading this, get your social worker to help.

At the last Columbia County Commission meeting, Pam Tucker and Ron Cross publicly humiliated a young lady for not saluting the flag. This young lady is not a citizen of the United States and should not have been saluting the flag. What they did was possibly illegal, unethical and just plain rude. Both of them should be fired and forced to submit a public apology.

If Strom Thurmond had been a Democrat, Phil Kent and Austin Rhodes would have had a wonderful time ridiculing him. Their talking points might have been: 1) He liked his women young and juicy. 2) Were those really his kids or someone else’s? 3) Did the senator have a black love child? 4) The last 10 years he was so senile they just kept him in office until they could recruit someone to fill his position. 5) He used his position to help his son obtain a job he was probably not qualified for. 6) Democratic men are immoral. Unfortunately, they can only see one side of the situation.

Most of the state workers that were fired from YDC should be able to get jobs with the Richmond County Sheriff’s Department. They really don’t need any additional training; after all, they have already proved they are incompetent and worthless.

Representing the proposed performing arts center, Lowell Greenbaum just took a trip to Columbus at the taxpayers’ expense and spent the whole day lobbying the SPLOST advisory panel.

Why wasn’t the library or any other group who is being considered for funds invited? And who invited Greenbaum?

The other groups were bound by a limited time slot to present their case to the panel and Greenbaum’s performing arts center gets a full day and undivided attention? Something is very wrong with this picture.

Marion Williams is so concerned about going down in Augusta history as the first black member of the Augusta Fire Department. What he really should be concerned about is going down in Augusta history as the most ignorant commissioner Augusta has ever had.

I just want to know one thing: Someone please tell me that we don’t ever have to hear Martha Burk’s name again.

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T he G eorge W inston

What do you do with an employee who’s malicious, vindictive, unfair, callous, known to be divisive and possibly racist?

At the post office we promote them.

This is to the redneck mother who put her used diapers in the back of a stranger’s Jeep on Broad Street during the 4th of July celebration. That was my Jeep and probably one of the most disgusting, disrespectful things I have ever been unfortunate enough to have to be a part of ... A word of advice: When you and your genetically challenged family leave the house to mingle with those not of your own family tree, change your mullet-haired kids’

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18 M E T R O S P I R I T

Bite

A Little Sunshine on Broad Street

By Amy Fennell Christian

J A N 8 2 0 0 4

I

f you dare admit to someone that you’ve never been to the Sunshine Bakery on Broad Street, they’ll probably look at you like you’re an alien from another planet.

I made that unfortunate error recently, and the friend I was chatting with proceeded to launch into the small spot’s history (including the fact that her grandmother, as a young girl, used to ride the trolley downtown to eat there), tick off Sunshine’s daily soup offerings from memory and list all the menu items I had to try.

How, I wondered, does such a low-key sandwich shop, located next to a garage and between two higher-profile restaurants, inspire that kind of loyalty? What’s all the fuss about?

Upon my first visit last week (and my subsequent two visits), I found out that there’s quite a lot to fuss about when it comes to this Augusta landmark.

First of all, this place is a bargain.

Sunshine’s manager said that the restaurant’s official year of opening is 1946 and, honestly, it doesn’t seem like the prices have changed all that much since then.

The most expensive item on the menu comes in at just under $6 and they even have a daily double special that includes a generously sized turkey sandwich on sourdough rye bread and a cup of soup for $2.95. Add a drink to that and you’ve got a filling lunch for just about $4.

In a place that offers such values, you wouldn’t think that they’d put a lot of time and effort into their products, but you’d be wrong. Almost everything at Sunshine — breads, pastries, desserts and soups — is homemade. And the breads, especially the Reuben rolls and the sourdough rye, are great.

Then there’s the menu itself, filled with lots of German offerings. To a newcomer, many of the ingredients — spiced beef, salami, sauerkraut, knockwurst, liverwurst, sliced eggs, gruyere cheese — sound heavy, and as I looked over Sunshine’s “Gold Medal Combination Sandwiches” I envisioned gargantuan portions that I couldn’t possibly finish.

Instead, I found that soups (included with almost all sandwich orders) are served in small coffee cups and the sandwiches, while

piled high with fillings, are not excessive in size. Unless you order a side dish like German potato salad, cole slaw or chips, soup is the only accompaniment to the sandwich.

The sandwiches at Sunshine may be heavy on meats and cheeses, but the soups are almost exclusively vegetarian. My first visit was on pinto bean soup day, and I loved the absence of extra ingredients that the soup didn’t need. The only visible ingredients in the creamy, pink-brown soup were the beans and some noodles. Similarly simple and wellflavored was the potato soup I later sampled.

The Bi-Centennial sandwich I ordered during my first visit included a variety of fillings, some of which — like spiced beef and salami — I hardly ever order. It also included turkey, Russian dressing, muenster cheese on a dark brown Reuben roll. Despite the slightly fatty beef and an overabundance of cheese, it was a great sandwich. I hate to admit it, but the best parts were the tangy Russian dressing and the roll which, when I started getting full, I ate by itself.

The restaurant has an assortment of drinks, but try the Sunshine tea.

Blending iced tea and lemonade is nothing new, but the sweettart combination is refreshing and light.

When you walk into the restaurant, the first thing you notice is the extensive dessert case, filled with cookies, brownies, petit fours, gingerbread men, eclairs and other assorted goodies. Most are under $2 and most, even the m&m cookies, have a distinct flavor that I can’t quite put my finger on. Different, but good.

And don’t be fooled by the “Little Josephine”: It’s anything but small. The large round pastry, cut in half, filled with cream and topped with chocolate and sliced almonds, is heavenly and enough for two (or three).

So now I know what all the fuss is about: Sunshine is one of those places that, once discovered, you can’t help but visit again and again.

How, I wondered, does such a low-key sandwich shop, located next to a garage and between two higher-profile restaurants, inspire that kind of loyalty?

What’s all the fuss about?

Sunshine Bakery is located at 1209 Broad Street downtown. They serve lunch from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Monday through Friday and 94:30 on Saturday. They accept cash and checks only.

19

Arts

& Entertainment

M E T R O S P I R I T J A N 8

Ailey II Dances for Augusta

S

everal times a year, Augusta Ballet brings you men in tights leaping with the greatest of ease, women in tutus flying prettily through the air and plenty of charming and colorful characters, from fairies to bullfighters to … well, you get the drift. But once in a while, they bring you a little something different – a different troupe of dancers. This is the second year that Augusta Ballet has brought the modern dance company Ailey II to Augusta.

Ailey II is the junior company to the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theatre, created in March of 1958 by Alvin Ailey and a group of young, black dancers. Ailey himself was a Texas dancer who pulled from his artistic experiences “back home” when he first began to choreograph. As a result, his work incorporated the blues, spirituals and gospel.

According to the Ailey Web site, “Revelations,” the piece all that eventually became, has been his most popular and critically acclaimed work to date.

Augusta Ballet Marketing Director Sarah Shoemaker relayed the sentiment that Artistic Director Zanne Colton expressed to her regarding the reason Augusta Ballet enjoys bringing another company to town, that the company believes its Augusta audience should have the opportunity to see many dance forms, that Augusta Ballet is not “the end-all, be-all of dance.”

At that point, I had assumed that the Alvin Ailey companies were about ballet, but Shoemaker set me straight and assured me it wasn’t so.

“Actually, they are not a ballet company, but a modern dance company,” she said.

“The dancers have all trained in classical ballet, but they have also trained in modern techniques. Essentially this means that they have the strength, flexibility, vocabulary base and grace of ballet dancers, but they approach dancing differently from classical ballet dancers. Classical ballet technique is very strict, and modern dance requires a physicality that is much less ‘held.’”

But it seems that, as artistic people search for new ways to do things, a sort of fusion happens. The world of dance is no exception.

“Interestingly,” Shoemaker said, “the lines between new ballet choreography and modern dance choreography have been getting much fuzzier over the last several years.

Many modern companies have been using dancers with a strong ballet background because they value the strength and flexibility that ballet dancers bring to the table.

By Rhonda Jones

Likewise, most ballet companies are now looking for dancers who are versatile enough to perform contemporary works because audiences like to see a variety of dances and styles. Even though classics like ‘Swan Lake’ and ‘Giselle’ are timeless, no ballet company can afford to perform only the classics. These days, the biggest difference between modern companies and ballet companies is the style of warm-up that is done and that modern dancers do not perform en pointe as ballet dancers do.”

Not very startling differences, so if you’re jonesing for ballet, Ailey II may just be your ticket to relief, even though they’re a modern dance company.

Shoemaker seems to think so.

“I think this company is truly outstanding,” she said.

“Not only are Ailey dancers some of the best-trained modern dancers in the country, but the works that they perform are masterful and cutting-edge. I have never worked with them as a dancer, but I have seem them perform, and can attest to their artistry and ability.”

Cool.

She said the night will consist of four repertoire pieces, and that three of those will be totally new to Augusta. She said there will be four pieces on the program, to include Troy Powell’s “The Tyner Project,” which is set to the music of McCoy Tyner; Talley Beatty’s “Mourner’s Bench,” which is set to a traditional score; Nathan Trice’s “Prayer in Discord,” set to the music of Ryuichi Sakamoto; and Alvin Ailey’s “Revelations,” set to a traditional score.

She sent over a couple of press quotes, one from The Boston Herald, and one from The New York Post. “…one of the most sublime dances ever choreographed,” is The Herald’s take on “Revelations,” and here is what Clive Barnes of The New York Post has to say: “Powerful and eloquent dancing characterize the company in Ailey’s timeless tribute to humanity, faith and survival.”

I asked Shoemaker how Augusta Ballet met the Ailey company.

“Everyone involved in the professional dance world knows of master choreographer Alvin Ailey and his two companies – Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater and Ailey II – both of which still exist today after his passing,” she said. “When the Augusta Ballet decided to begin bringing in guest companies to celebrate the MLK (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.) holiday, Alvin Ailey’s second company was one of the first to come to mind.”

One of their board members, who is also an employee of a major sponsor, is a big Alvin Ailey fan as well.

Ailey II dances for Augusta Monday evening, Jan. 19 at 7 p.m. Tickets run $17 to $40. For info call the Augusta Ballet at (706) 261-0555.

2 0 0 4

20 M E T R O S P I R I T J A N 8 2 0 0 4

8

DaysA Week

Arts

Auditions

“THE BAD SEED” will be presented by Young Ar tists Reper tory Theatre Company in March, and auditions will be held Jan. 8-9 at 7 p.m. in the lower school cafetorium at Augusta Preparatory Day School. Par ts are available for seven males and five females. Call 210-8915 for details.

“LAST OF THE RED HOT LOVERS” AUDITIONS with Stage III will be held Jan. 12, 7 p.m., at 517 Granite Pointe in Mar tinez. Par ts are available for one male age 40-plus and for three females, ages 20-50. The show runs the last weekend in February. Call 868-9663.

THE AUGUSTA CHORALE will hold auditions for new members Jan. 12, 6:30 p.m., in the Gilber t-Lambuth Memorial Chapel of Paine College. Interested persons must be prepared to sing and be able to read music. For information, contact Jayme Smalley at 733-7809.

ENOPION THEATRE COMPANY is looking for volunteers to act, sing, sew, build and more for their new musical, “Creation.” Applications are available at www.imaryproductions.com or by calling (803) 442-9039.

SWEET ADELINES HARMONY RIVER CHORUS OPEN REHEARSAL for singers each Thursday at 7 p.m. at Church of Christ, 600 Mar tintown Rd. in Nor th Augusta.

They are on the lookout for voices in the lower ranges.

Contact Mary Norman at (803) 279-6499.

Education SQUARE DANCE LESSONS at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken begin Jan. 26. Open house held Jan. 12, 7:30 p.m.

Cost is $36 per couple. Call (803) 642-7631 for information.

ADULT BEGINNER GUITAR CLASS offered by North Augusta Parks, Recreation and Leisure Services begins in January.

Open to students 14 years of age and up. For more information and to reserve a spot in class, call Michael at 823-5818 or e-mail simonsays_ed_resources@hotmail.com.

ART CLASSES FOR CHILDREN AND ADULTS at the Ar t Factory. The Ar t Factory also has a homeschool program and scholarships are available. Programs include painting, pot tery, pilates, hip hop and modern dance and more.

Registration now accepted for winter 2004 courses, which begin Jan. 12. Classes are held at the Ar t Factory, 418 Crawford Ave., or at the Augusta Jewish Community Center. Call 731-0008 for details.

Exhibitions “ANNE HEBEBRAND: CURRENT WORKS” on display Jan. 20 at the Ger trude Herber t Institute of Ar t. Ar tists reception 6-8 p.m. Jan. 23. Call 722-5495.

PAINTINGS BY DIANE DAVIS will be on display at the Gibbs Library throughout January. Call 863-1946.

WORKS BY ROBERT LYON are on display at the Augusta State University Fine Ar ts Gallery Jan. 15-Feb. 5. Opening reception is 5-7 p.m. Jan. 15. Free. Call 737-1444.

CERAMICS BY JULIET DEARING will be on exhibit in the Lower Gallery of the Etherredge Center through Jan. 30.

Call (803) 641-3305.

“JACK SPENCER: PHOTOGRAPHS FROM NATIVE SOIL” will be on display at the Morris Museum of Art Jan. 10-Feb. 15.

Call 724-7501 for information.

PHOTOGRAPHIC WORKS BY SELLY GOODWIN will be on display in the ar t hall of Sacred Hear t Cultural Center Jan. 8-Feb. 29. Ar tist reception 5-7 p.m. Jan. 8. Call 826-4700 for more information.

“RABIN REMEMBERED” photographic exhibition highlighting the life and accomplishments of Prime Minister Yitzchak Rabin at the Augusta Jewish Community Center.

Free admission. 228-3636.

THE POTTERY OF NELLIE ANDREWS PIERCE will be at the Ar t Factory through Jan. 9. Call 731-0008 for info.

“LET’S PLAY: PASTIMES FROM THE PAST” through Feb. 15 at the Augusta Museum of History. For more information, call 722-8454.

BALLROOM DANCE LESSONS at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken Jan. 13-Feb. 17. Cost is $40 per couple. Call (803) 642-7631.

“THE LOW COUNTRY: PAINTINGS BY PRESTON RUSSELL” will be on display at the Morris Museum of Ar t through Jan. 11. For more info, call 724-7501.

ISR AELI DANCE WORKSHOP at the Augusta Jewish Communit y Center Sunday af ternoons, 4-5 p.m. Open to teens and adults; no experience or par tners are necessar y. Cost is $2 per session, with the first session free. For information or to schedule a pre-class beginner/refresher session, contact Jackie Cohen, 738-9016.

“BABY-BOOM DAYDREAMS: THE ART OF DOUGLAS BOURGEOIS” will be on exhibit at the Morris Museum of Ar t through Feb. 15. Call 724-7501 for information.

ART CLASSES AND WORKSHOPS are offered year-round at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art. Winter classes begin Jan. 6; those seeking scholarships for the quarter must apply

by Jan. 5. Classes and workshops are open to toddlers through adults and feature instruction in drawing, painting, photography, pottery, weaving and sculpture. For a newsletter or detailed information on registering for classes at the Gertrude Herbert, call 722-5495. The Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art also offers educational tours; for information, contact the education director at the above telephone number.

“DEANNE DUNBAR: OBJECTS OF DESIRE” will be on display at the Rabold Galler y in Aiken through Feb. 14.

For more information, call (803) 641-4405 or e-mail raboldgaller y@bellsouth.net.

Dance “AILEY II” will be presented by the Augusta Ballet at the Imperial Theatre 7 p.m. Jan. 19. For ticket information, call the Augusta Ballet at 261-0555.

THE AUGUSTA INTERNATIONAL FOLK DANCE CLUB meets Thursday evenings at 7:30 p.m. No partners are needed and newcomers are welcome. Call 737-6299 for location and info.

Audio Adrenaline is just one of the acts performing as part of NewSong’s All-New Winter Jam Spectacular Jan. 8 at the Augusta-Richmond County Civic Center.

THE DANCES OF UNIVERSAL PEACE held the first Saturday of every month, 7-9 p.m., at the Unitarian Church of Augusta, honor the religious traditions of the world through song and movement. Call (803) 643-0460 for more information.

AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF THE UNITED STATES AMATEUR BALLROOM DANCERS ASSOCIATION holds a dance the first Saturday of each month, from 7:15-11 p.m. Cost is $7 for members and $10 for non-members. Held at the BPOE facility on Elkdom Cour t. Contact Melvis Lovet t, 733-3890, or Jean Avery, 863-4186, for information.

Music “FEATURING OUR OWN” Augusta Symphony Masterworks Concer t Jan. 17, 8 p.m., in the Ma xwell Per forming Ar ts Theatre. Tickets are $15, $30 and $40, with half-price student tickets available at the door. Guest lecturer Ar thur Ross will present a complimentary preview lecture at 7 p.m. Call 826-4705.

MOUNTAIN DULCIMER JAM Jan. 17-18 at Mistletoe State Park in Appling. $2 parking fee. Call 855-7041.

FACULTY ARTIST RECITAL Jan. 22, 7 p.m., at USCAiken’s Etherredge Center. Call (803) 641-3305.

THE STUDENTS OF STUDIO ARTGRO per form in concer t Jan. 18, 2 p.m., at the Morris Museum of Ar t. Free admission. Call 724-7501.

KEITH GEHLE per forms at the Jan. 13 edition of Tuesday’s Music Live. The concer t begins at noon at St. Paul’s Church. Call 722-3463.

THE AMERICAN CHAMBER PLAYERS present a concer t at the Ma xwell Per forming Ar ts Theatre 8 p.m. Jan. 9.

Ar tists talk with Miles Hof fman begins at 7:15 p.m.

Tickets are $20 for adults and $5 for school-age children; children under 6 not admit ted. 737-1444.

NEWSONG’S ALL-NEW WINTER JAM SPECTACULAR with Audio Adrenaline, Reliant K, Todd Agnew, Jadyn Maria and Brock Gill Jan. 8, 7 p.m., at the AugustaRichmond County Civic Center. Tickets are $10 at the door. Call 722-3521 for information.

“STANDING IN THE SHADOWS OF MOTOWN” at the Bell Auditorium has been rescheduled for Jan. 17. Tickets are $34 for floor seats and seating in par ts of the balcony and $28 in the rest of the balcony. Call 722-3521.

Theater DAVIDSON FINE ARTS SCHOOL DESSERT THEATRE Jan. 22-23 at Beverly J. Barnhar t Theatre, Recital Hall, Dance Studio 124 and Commons. Admission is $8 adult, $7 senior citizen and children under 5 and $6 Davidson Fine Ar ts students. Call 823-6924, ex t. 122.

“WHAT BLACK FOLK SAY ABOUT BLACK FOLK (PERCEPTION OR TRUTH)” will be presented by Augusta Mini Theatre Jan. 15-16, 8 p.m., and Jan. 17-18, 3 and 8 p.m., at the Jack B. Patrick Technology Center. General admission is $12 adults, $10 students and $8 youth groups. For ticket information, call 722-0598.

“A THOUSAND CLOWNS” will be per formed by the Aiken Community Playhouse Jan. 9-10, 16-18 and 23-24. Call (803) 648-1438.

Attractions MOTORIZED TOURS OF HISTORIC AIKEN every Saturday, 10-11:30 a.m. Tours leave from the Washington Center for the Performing Ar ts. Reservations are required, and patrons must be age 2 and older. (803) 642-7631.

AUGUSTA CANAL INTERPRETIVE CENTER: Housed in Enterprise Mill, the center contains displays and models focusing on the Augusta Canal’s functions and impor tance to the tex tile industry. Hours are Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m. and Sun., 1-6 p.m. Admission is $5 adult, $4 seniors and military and $3 children ages 6-18. Children under 6 admit ted free. Guided boat tours of the Augusta Canal depar t from the docks at Enterprise Mill at 11 a.m, 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m.

Saturdays. Tour tickets are $6 adults, $5 seniors and $4 students and children. For tour information, call 823-7089. For other info, visit www.augustacanal.com or call 823-0440.

AUGUSTA GOLF & GARDENS OF THE GEORGIA GOLF HALL OF FAME features beautiful display gardens, as well as bronze sculptures of some of golf’s greatest masters.

Available for rent for a variety of functions. Group discount rates available. Closed Mondays; open from 9 a.m.-5 p.m.

Tues.-Sat.; open from 1-5 p.m. on Sunday. Admission is $5.50 for adults; $4.50 for students, seniors and military; $3.50 for children (4-12); free for children 3 and under.

Sundays are two for one with a Super Sunday coupon.

Annual garden memberships are available. Call 724-4443 or 1-888-874-4443. Also, visit their Web site at www.gghf.org.

NATIONAL SCIENCE CENTER’S FORT DISCOVERY: Children and adults alike can immerse themselves in the wonders of science through live demonstrations, vir tual realities, Starlab, KidScape and more than 250 hands-on exhibits. General Admission: $8 for adults; $6 for children, seniors and active militar y. Group rates available.

Operating hours: Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sunday, noon-5 p.m. Call 821-0200, 1-800-325-5445 or visit their Web site at www.NationalScienceCenter.org.

REDCLIFFE STATE HISTORIC SITE: 1859 mansion of S.C. Governor James Henry Hammond, held by the family for three generations until 1975. Grounds and slave quar ters are open Thursday-Monday, 9 a.m.-6 p.m. House tours will be offered at 1, 2 and 3 p.m. Admission to the grounds is free.

Fee for house tours is $3 for adults and children ages 6-17.

For more information, call (803) 827-1473. 181 Redcliffe Road, Beech Island.

SACRED HEART CULTURAL CENTER is of fering tours of its 100-year-old building. Mon.-Fri., 9 a.m.-5 p.m. $1 per person, children free. 826-4700.

HISTORIC COTTON EXCHANGE WELCOME CENTER: Open Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m.; Sun. 1-5 p.m. Riverwalk.

Free. Call 724-4067.

THE EZEKIEL HARRIS HOUSE: Deemed “the finest 18th century house surviving in Georgia” by the “Smithsonian Guide to Historic America.” Open Saturday, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. General admission is $2; senior admission is $1 and children get in for 50 cents. For more information, call 724-0436.

Museums “GULLAH HOME COOKING THE DAUFUSKIE WAY: AN EVENING WITH SALLIE ANN ROBINSON” Jan. 20 at the Morris Museum of Ar t. Program is held from 6-8 p.m.

Reservations required. Call 724-7501 for information.

“ART AT LUNCH: THE ART OF FR AMING” Jan. 16, noon, at the Morris Museum of Ar t. Rober t Bazemore discusses the ar t of framing. A boxed lunch is available, or you may bring your own brown bag lunch. Fee is $10 for museum members and $12 for non-members.

Reser vations required. 724-7501.

MASTERWORKS OF SOUTHERN ART TOUR Jan. 11, 2 p.m., at the Morris Museum of Art. Free admission. 724-7501.

“TERRA COGNITA” CONTEMPORARY ARTISTS LECTURE SERIES begins Jan. 8 at the Morris Museum of Ar t with a program by Judy Onofrio. Lectures begin at 7 p.m. and are followed with a meet-the-ar tist reception. Admission is $3 for adults, $2 for seniors, military personnel and students, and free for Morris Museum members, college and university students and faculty with ID. 724-7501.

“CELEBRATION OF FLIGHT” exhibit at For t Discovery’s Knox Gallery runs through Jan. 31. Admission to the exhibit is free with paid general admission to For t Discovery. For more information, visit www.NationalScienceCenter.org or call 821-0200.

THE GERTRUDE HERBERT INSTITUTE OF ART in Ware’s Folly exhibits works by local and regional ar tists. Ar t classes, workshops and other educational programming for children, youth and adults are held in the WalkerMackenzie Studio. Open Tuesday-Friday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Saturday by appointment only. Admission is free, but a donation of $2 for adults and $1 for children and seniors is encouraged. Call 722-5495 or visit www.ghia.org for more info.

THE AUGUSTA MUSEUM OF HISTORY hosts permanent exhibition “Augusta’s Story,” an award-winning exhibit encompassing 12,000 years of local history. For the younger crowd, there’s the Susan L. Still Children’s Discovery Gallery, where kids can learn about history in a hands-on environment. The museum also shows films in the History Theatre and hosts a variety of programs.

Located at 560 Reynolds Street. Open Tuesday-Saturday,

10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sunday 1-5 p.m. Admission is $4 adult, $3 seniors, $2 kids (6-18 years of age) and free for children under 6. Free admission on Sundays. Call 722-8454 or visit www.augustamuseum.org for more information.

THE MORRIS MUSEUM OF ART hosts exhibitions and special events year-round. Open Tuesday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sundays, noon-5 p.m. Closed on Mondays and major holidays. 1 Tenth Street, Augusta. Call 724-7501 or visit www.themorris.org for details.

THE MUSEUM OF LAUREL AND HARDY OF HARLEM, GEORGIA features displays of various Laurel and Hardy memorabilia; films also shown. Located at 250 N. Louisville Street in downtown Harlem. Open 1-4 p.m.

Thursday-Monday. For more information, call 556-3448.

LUNCH AT NOON LECTURE SERIES held the second Wednesday of every month at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum of Black History, 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Call the museum at 724-3576 for more information.

Special Events MARTIN LUTHER KING CELEBRATION with guest speaker, praise dancing, poems and readings Jan. 16, 5-7 p.m. at the Smith-Hazel Recreation Center. Open to all ages. Cost is $2 adults and $1 students. Call (803) 642-7635.

AUGUSTA METRO CHAMBER OF COMMERCE WOMEN IN BUSINESS EVENT Jan. 20, 11:30 a.m., at Pullman Hall.

Program is on increasing efficiency through life management. Cost is $12 for members pre-registered by Jan. 16 and $15 for members at the door; $15 for non-members pre-registered by Jan. 16 and $18 for non-members at the door. Call 821-1306.

GREYHOUND MEET AND GREET with GreytHound Love greyhound adoption Jan. 17, 11 a.m.-3 p.m at Petsmar t. For more information, visit www.greythoundlove.org or call Jeanne McGee at 796-1708.

GIRLS INC. ALUMNI REUNION Jan. 24, 2-4 p.m. at Girls Inc., 1919 Watkins St. All members and board members of The Girls’ Center, Girls’ Club of Augusta and Girls Inc. of the CSRA are welcome to at tend. Please RSVP by Jan. 20 by calling 733-2512.

ANTIQUE SYMPOSIUM Jan. 16-17 at the Aiken Center for the Arts. Tickets are $25 per session or $90 for the entire symposium, and proceeds benefit the Aiken Center for the Arts.

For more information, call (803) 641-9094.

JANUARY FILM SERIES at Headquar ters Library Tuesday nights at 6:30 p.m. Admission is free. Jan. 13 showing of “The Vanishing,” Jan. 20 showing of “Midnight Cowboy” and Jan. 27 showing of “Gigantic: A Tale of Two Johns.”

Call 821-2600.

DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. COMMEMORATIVE LUNCHEON Jan. 15, 11:30 a.m., at the Gordon Club at For t Gordon. Ralph Watkins will be the guest speaker. Tickets are $9. Call 791-2014.

GEORGIA GOLF HALL OF FAME 2004 INDUCTION BANQUET Jan. 10, 6:30 p.m. at the Radisson Riverfront Hotel.

Tickets are $90 each or $800 for a table of 10. To make a reservation, contact Dianne King, 724-4443.

MCDUFFIE FRIENDS OF ANIMALS holds pet adoptions each Saturday, 1-3 p.m. at Superpetz on Bobby Jones Expressway. Call 556-9090 or visit www.pet finder.com.

COLUMBIA COUNTY HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions ever y Saturday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. and ever y Sunday from 1-4 p.m. at PetsMar t. For more info, call 860-5020.

RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL AND AUGUSTA ANIMAL RESCUE FRIENDS hold pet adoptions at Superpetz off Bobby Jones Expressway every Sunday from 1-4 p.m. Call AARF at 364-4747 or visit www.aar f.net. Adoptions also held at the Richmond County Animal Control Shelter, Tues.-Sun., 1-5 p.m. Call the shelter at 790-6836.

THE CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. and every Wednesday evening from 5:30-7:30 p.m. at the Pet Center located behind the GreenJackets Stadium on Milledge Rd. 261-PETS.

Out of Town STUDENT CHESS TOURNAMENT for K-12 players Jan. 24 at Julia P. Bryant Elementary in Statesboro, Ga. Check-in by 9

a.m., with last round starting at 3 p.m. Register by noon Jan. 21 by calling (912) 764-9770 or e-mailing j-lutz@enia.net.

“FERDINAND THE BULL” will be presented by Alliance Children’s Theatre at the 14th Street Playhouse in Atlanta Jan. 17-March 7. Call (404) 733-4600 or visit www.alliancetheatre.org.

GEORGIA HORSE FAIR Jan. 9-11 at the Georgia National Fairgrounds and Agricenter in Perry, Ga. Call (706) 484-2876 or (706) 542-8742 for more information.

“RAISE THE RAFTERS” gospel music series at Biltmore House in Asheville, N.C., runs weekends through Feb. 8.

Call 1-800-543-2961.

“ANNIE” will be at the Fox Theatre in Atlanta Jan. 14-18.

Call (404) 252-8960 for more information.

“KISS ME, KATE” comes to the Johnny Mercer Theatre in Savannah, Ga., Jan. 12. To order tickets, call 1-800-3517469.

“A LION IN WINTER” will be at The New American Shakespeare Tavern in Atlanta through Feb. 1. Optional British pub-style menu available one hour and 15 minutes before the performance.Tickets are $19.50-$24.50. Call (404) 874-5299.

“CATS” will be at the Fox Theatre in Atlanta through Jan. 11.

Tickets range from $20-$54; call (404) 817-8700.

Sponsored by

A Thousand Clowns Written by

Herb Gardner Directed by

Marcia Harris Performances Jan. 9th thru 24th, 2004 Matinee Sunday January 18, 2004 At 3:00 p.m.

Email: info@aikencommunityplayhouse.com

Washington Center for the Performing Arts 124 Newberry St. Aiken, SC 29801

priceless

AT THE GEORGIA MUSEUM OF ART in Athens, Ga.: “Enchanting Modern: Ilonka Karasz, 1896-1981” through Feb. 8; works by Armin Landeck through Feb. 8. “Decorative Arts at Woodstock” through March. Visit www.uga.edu/gamuseum or call (706) 542-4662 for info.

“EDWARD HOPPER AND URBAN REALISM” will be on display at the Columbia Museum of Art in Columbia, S.C., through Jan. 18. (803) 799-2810.

“A SALUTE TO 25 YEARS OF THE GEORGIA MUSIC HALL OF FAME AWARDS” runs through Jan. 18 at the Georgia Music Hall of Fame in Macon, Ga. Exhibits, programs and events honoring the 25th anniversary of the Georgia Music Hall of Fame awards. Call 1-888-GA-ROCKS for info.

AT THE HIGH MUSEUM OF ART in Atlanta: “The Undiscovered Richard Meier: The Architect as Designer and Ar tist” through April 4; “Af ter Whistler: The Ar tist and His Influence on American Painting” through Feb. 8; and “Verrocchio’s David Restored: A Renaissance Bronze From the National Museum of the Bargello, Florence” through Feb. 8. Call (404) 733-HIGH or visit www.high.org for information.

Become an anonymous egg donor!

Ovations is seeking healthy, educated women between the ages of 18-31, living in or going to college in the Aiken-Augusta area. Suitable donors will be compensated in the sum of

$5,000

For more information call 733-0130 1-866-517-7513

Design Your Own

Holiday Cheer.

Benefits DISC GOLF ICE BOWL to raise money for Golden Har vest Food Bank 8 a.m.-4 p.m. Jan. 17 at Lake Olmstead. All players are welcome, regardless of abilit y.

Entry fee is $20 plus a donation of canned goods. Those wishing to simply donate canned goods may drop them of f at the Julian Smith barbeque pit. For more information, contact Sue Anne Beym, 737-6095.

MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY BLOOD DRIVE Jan. 19 at Shepeard Community Blood Center. Open from 9 a.m.-6 p.m. Call 737-4551 for details.

AUGUSTA SOUTH ROTARY CLUB SCHOLARSHIP BENEFIT FOR YOUTH CHALLENGE ACADEMY GR ADUATES Jan. 22, 7 p.m., at Hillcrest Baptist Church. Tickets include spaghet ti dinner and roast of Augusta-Richmond Count y Commissioner Jimmy Smith. Call Sandra Gurley, 724-2601, or Susan Bly, 739-1379, for tickets.

AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL is in need of dog and cat food, cat lit ter and other pet items, as well as monetary donations to help pay for vaccinations. Donations accepted during regular business hours, Tues.-Sun., 1-5 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Call 790-6836 for information.

Glass Beads • Swarovski Crystals • Vintage Glass Semi-Precious Stones • Classes “Augusta’s only full service bead store.”

YaYa Beads Beading Supplies Behind Applebee's on Washington Rd. 651-1147 • www.yayabeads.com Tues-Fri 10am-6pm • Sat 10am-5pm

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Voted Best Steak In Augusta For 15 Years 1987-2002

SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER BLOOD DRIVES in various locations around the CSRA this month.

For detailed information on locations and times to donate, visit www.shepeardblood.org. You may also call Susan Edwards at (803) 643-7996 for information on Aiken locations and Nancy Szocinski at 737-4551 for information on all other locations.

AMERICAN RED CROSS BLOOD DRIVES at the Aiken Red Cross Blood Center on Millbrook Drive and the Augusta Red Cross Blood Center on Pleasant Home Road. The bloodmobile will also stop at various area locations this week. For a complete list, call the Aiken Blood Center at (803) 642-5180 or the Augusta Blood Center at 868-8800.

21 M E T R O S P I R I T J A N 8

Reservations Call (803) 648-1438

2856 Washington Rd. 73-STEAK 1654 Gordon Hwy. 796-1875

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THE BOYHOOD HOME OF WOODROW WILSON: Circa 1859 Presbyterian manse occupied by the family of President Woodrow Wilson as a child during the Civil War and Reconstruction. Original and period antiques, restored house, kitchen and carriage house. 419 Seventh Street.

Open 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Tues.-Sat. Tours available; groups of 10 or more by appointment only. Admission is $5 adults, $4 seniors, $3 students under 18 and free for ages 5 and under. 722-9828.

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22

Either We Drove the Jetta to the Fountain of Youth, or it Drove Itself

M E T R O S P I R I T

STARTING STARTING AT AT

$17,430

* MSRP

J A N 8 2 0 0 4

STANDARD EQUIPMENT • Anti Theft System • Full Size Spare • Side Curtain Protection™ Airbags • 4-Wheel ABS • Remote Control Locking System • 4 Year, 50k Mile Manufacturers Warranty • Cruise Control • CD Player • Power Windows

GERALD JONES VOLKSWAGEN 706-228-6900

Located in the former Columbia Square Shopping Center in Martinez

*Plus Tax, Tag, & Destination Fee

DAILY LUNCH SPECIALS $ 4.59 11-3 pm

DAILY LUNCH SPECIALS EACH SERVED WITH CHOICE OF 1 SIDE, BREAD & TEA

Best Fried Chicken Best Iced Tea Best Cole Slaw

MONDAY..............................BITE SIZE SHRIMP TUESDAY.....................FRIED CHICKEN STRIPS WEDNESDAY....................................POT ROAST THURSDAY...................COUNTRY FRIED STEAK FRIDAY.................................FRIED FISH FILLET OR BITE SIZE SHRIMP

SIDES MACARONI & CHEESE • GREEN BEANS • TURNIP GREENS FRIED OKRA • BLACK EYED PEAS RICE PILAF • LIMA BEANS BROCCOLI CASSEROLE FRENCH FRIES COLE SLAW • POTATO SALAD ONION RINGS GRAVY • POTATOES W/ GRAVY

Founder George Cunningham circa 1965

9 Area Locations Football Tailgating Headquarters

SILVER SNEAKERS FITNESS PROGRAM OPEN HOUSE Jan. 12-14, 11 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Family Y Wilson Branch.

Call 733-1030 for more information.

Learning

HOME-BASED CARE available for low- to mid-income families seeking alternatives to nursing home placement. To participate, individuals must be aged 60 or up or must have disability status as defined by Social Security Administration guidelines. Applicants must also meet program income guidelines. For more information, contact the CSRA Area Agency on Aging at 210-2018 or 1-888-922-4464.

“NEW YEAR, NEW YOU” WORKSHOP with representatives from the Georgia Depar tment of Labor 6 p.m. Jan. 22 at the Ma xwell Branch Library. Learn to complete job applications, prepare a resume and more.793-2020.

“SURVIVAL SPANISH” CLASS will be offered in January by the North Augusta Activity Center. Separate classes available for adults and children. Call (803) 441-4311 or e-mail simonsys_ed_resources@hotmail.com for more information.

SENIOR VOLUNTEERS NEEDED FOR THE NEW VISITOR CENTER AT PHINIZY SWAMP NATURE PARK to greet visitors, hand out literature and sell merchandise. Volunteers are asked to commit one Saturday or Sunday per month, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. or 1-5 p.m. Call 828-2109 for information.

AIKEN PARKS AND RECREATION of fers a multitude of programs for senior adults, including bridge clubs, fitness classes, canasta clubs, line dancing, racquetball, ar ts and craf ts, tennis and excursions. For more information, call (803) 642-7631.

“USING THE PINES CATALOG” Jan. 15, 9:30 a.m., at the Friedman Branch Library. Call 736-6758 to register.

BASIC MICROSOFT WORD COMPUTER TRAINING daytime Tuesdays, Jan. 13-Feb. 17 or Thursdays, Jan. 15Feb. 19, or evenings, Thursdays, Jan. 8-Feb. 12 at the Wallace Branch Library. Registration required. 722-6275.

EXCEL COMPUTER TRAINING at the Wallace Branch Library every other Wednesday beginning Jan. 14.

Registration required. Call 722-6275.

“BUILDING A STRONG ORGANIZATIONAL FOUNDATION: A FRAMEWORK FOR SUCCESS” workshop by the Georgia Center for Nonprofits Jan. 14, 10 a.m.-noon at Living Word Christian Center. Cost is $15 for Georgia Center for Nonprofits members and $20 for non-members.

Call 1-800-959-5015 for registration information.

AUGUSTA STATE UNIVERSITY CONTINUING EDUCATION is now offering the following classes: A Prosperous Retirement, Intermediate Investing, All Things Dutch, Origami and more. Also, ASU offers online courses. For more information, call 737-1636 or visit www.ced.aug.edu.

AIKEN TECH CONTINUING EDUCATION of fers the following courses: computer technology courses, healthcare courses, contractor programs, real estate courses and more. Aiken Tech also of fers Education to Go classes online. For more information or to register, call (803) 593-9231, ex t. 1230.

Health YOGA at the Augusta Jewish Communit y Center Sundays, beginning Jan. 18, from 1:30-3 p.m. Cost is $55. To register, call 228-3636.

“INTRODUCTION TO MEDITATION AND BUDDHISM” Tuesdays, 7-8:30 p.m., from Jan. 13-27 at the UnitarianUniversalist Church of Augusta. For details, call (803) 256-0150 or visit www.MeditationInSouthCarolina.org.

“EXPERIENCE THE CONNECTION: BREATHWORK” DISCUSSION on breathing techniques with Stephanie Servy Jan. 10, 10:30 a.m., at Sacred Space. Call (404) 550-1737 or e-mail sservy@hotmail.com for more information.

AUGUSTA BRAIN INJURY SUPPORT GROUP meets the second Thursday of every month, 6 p.m., at Walton West TLC. Brain injury survivors and their family members and caregivers are invited to at tend. 737-9300.

FORE THE HEALTH OF IT ADAPTIVE GOLF CLINICS held the first Tuesday of every month at First Tee of Augusta. Physical and occupational therapists from Walton Rehabilitation Hospital will guide the course. Call 823-8691.

CHRONIC PAIN SUPPORT GROUP meets the first Thursday of every month, 10:30-11:30 a.m., at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital. 823-5294.

STROKE SUPPORT GROUP meets the last Wednesday of the month, 1-2 p.m., in the outpatient classroom at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital. 823-5213.

M E T R O S P I R I T

WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL of fers Ar thritis Aquatics and People With Ar thritis Can Exercise. Call 823J 5294 for information.

USC-AIKEN CONTINUING EDUCATION of fers Italian, Ar t for Beginners, Debt-Free Living, Financial Strategies, Taming the Wild Child, Paralegal Cer tificate Course and more. Travelearn learning vacations for adults and Education to Go online courses also available. For info, phone (803) 641-3563.

CULLUM LECTURE SERIES, “South Asia: On a Tr yst With Destiny,” begins Jan. 13 with 11:30 a.m. presentation on “The First Poem and the Kingdom of God on Ear th” and a 7 p.m. presentation on “Valmiki Ramayana and the Cultural Universe of Southern Asia.” Series continues Jan. 16, 11:30 a.m. with “A Yam Bet ween Two Boulders: Culture and Conflict in Nepal” and Jan. 20 with 11:30 a.m. showing of “Bhutan: The Last Shangrila.” All events held in Butler Hall Auditorium. Visit www.aug.edu/librar y/cullum2004 or call Michael Bishku, 737-1709, or Jef f Heck, 667-4905.

23

The American Chamber Players will be at the Maxwell Performing Arts Theatre Jan. 9.

WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL AMPUTEE CLINIC for new and experienced prosthetic users meets the third Thursday of each month, 1-3 p.m. 722-1244.

with early drop-off and late pick-up available. Daily fees are $14 per child pre-registered or $20 per child registering the day of the program. Call 738-7006.

WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL of fers a number of health programs, including Fibromyalgia Aquatics, Water Aerobics, Wheelchair and Equipment Clinics, Therapeutic Massage, Yoga, Acupuncture, Children’s Medical Services Clinic, Special Needs Safety Seat Loaner Program, Focus on Healing exercise class for breast cancer survivors and more. Call 823-5294 for information.

“MOMMY AND ME” CLASS for walkers ages 12-36 months 9:45-11 a.m. Wednesdays beginning Jan. 14.

Cost is $95. Held at the Augusta Jewish Community Center. Call 228-3636.

THE MCG BREAST CANCER SUPPORT GROUP meets the first Thursday of every month at 7 p.m. and provides education and suppor t for those with breast cancer. For information, call 721-1467.

DIET COUNSELING CLASSES for diabetics and those with high cholesterol at CSRA Par tners in Health, 1220 Augusta West Parkway. Free. Call 860-3001 for class schedule.

PROJECT LINK COMMUNITY LECTURE SERIES is held the first Tuesday of every month and is sponsored by the MCG Children’s Medical Center. Project Link provides educational resources and guidance for families who have children with developmental delays, disabilities and other specialized health concerns. Free and open to the public; takes place from 6:30-8 p.m. in the main conference room at the Children’s Medical Center. Jan. 6 program is entitled “Color Me Organized.” Call 721-6838 for information.

UNIVERSITY HEALTH CARE SYSTEM COMMUNITY EDUCATION holds workshops, seminars and classes on a variet y of topics: weight and nutrition, women’s health, cancer, diabetes, seniors’ health and more.

Suppor t groups and health screenings are also of fered.

Call 736-0847 for details.

Kids YOUTH COMPUTER TRAINING for high school students every third Saturday of the month, 1:30-4:30 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 722-6275.

SPECIAL STORIES WITH FIRE CHIEF GILLESPIE Jan. 14, 10:30 a.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. Call 736-6244.

GIRLS INC. INFORMATION SESSION 6-7:30 p.m. Jan. 22 at Girls Inc. of the CSRA, 1919 Watkins St. Please RSVP to 733-2512.

FAMILY STORYTIME at the Friedman Branch Library 6:30 p.m. Jan. 21. Open to children ages 3-10 and their families. Please register in advance by calling 736-6758.

“WONDERFUL ADVENTURES OF ALICE” will be performed Jan. 14 at 9, 10 and 11 a.m. in the Ma xwell Per forming Ar ts Theatre. Presented by the Augusta State University Born to Read Literacy Center and Patchwork Players. Tickets are $3 per person. Call 733-7043 for more information.

GUEST STORYTELLER CHRIS VALOIS will be at the Ma xwell Branch Library Jan. 21, 10 a.m. 793-2020.

FAMILY Y JANUARY SCHOOL’S OUT PROGRAMS Jan. 19 for children 5-12 years old. Activities held 9 a.m.-4 p.m.

THE ACADEMY FOR LIFELONG LEARNING of fers lectures, courses, field trips, discussion groups and community information seminars on a variety of topics to mature adults. For more information, contact the USC-Aiken Office of Continuing Education at (803) 641-3288.

THE SENIOR CITIZENS COUNCIL OF GREATER AUGUSTA AND THE CSRA of fers a variety of classes, including ballroom dance, aerobics, quilting, tai chi, Spanish, line dancing, bowling, bridge, computers, drama club/readers theatre and pinochle. For dates and times, phone 826-4480.

SPANISH CLASSES at the Augusta Jewish Community Center begin Jan. 14. Open to children in grades 1-3. Cost is $95. Register by calling 228-3636.

SENIORNET provides adults age 50 and over education for and access to computer technology. Many dif ferent courses are of fered. Contact the USC-Aiken Continuing Education Office at (803) 641-3563.

BILINGUAL PARENTING CLASSES of fered by MCG Children’s Medical Center and the University of Georgia Cooperative Ex tension Service. January topic is “Family Budgeting.” English version held 6:30-8 p.m. Jan. 13 in the conference center of the MCG Children’s Medical Center. Spanish version held 6:30-8 p.m. Jan. 15 at the Grovetown Senior Center. Free. To register, call 721-KIDS.

Sports

AIKEN COUNTY PONY CLUB meets weekly. Open to children of all ages who par ticipate or are interested in equestrian spor ts. For more information, contact Lisa Smith at (803) 649-3399.

FREE CAR SEAT EDUCATION CLASSES for parents and other caregivers the third Monday of every month from 911 a.m. at MCG Children’s Medical Center. Registration is required; those who are Medicaid or Peachcare eligible should indicate status during registration and bring a card or proof of income to class in order to receive a free car seat. 721-KIDS. GIRLS INCORPOR ATED OF THE CSR A AFTER-SCHOOL PROGR AM runs through May 21. Open to girls currently enrolled in kindergar ten through high school. In addition to of fering specialized programs, Girls Incorporated of fers van pick-up at select schools, neighborhood drop-of f, homework room and a hot evening meal. For information, call 733-2512.

WEEKLY STORY SESSIONS at all branch libraries. Visit www.ecgrl.public.lib.ga.us for more information.

FIRST SATURDAY STORYTELLING at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum. In addition, there is a tour of the museum.

Held 10 a.m.-noon the first Saturday of the month. Call 724-3576.

Seniors CELEBRATION OF MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. DAY at the Senior Citizens’ Council of Greater Augusta and the CSRA 10-11:30 a.m. Jan. 16. Call Ann Knighton, 826-4480, ex t.

370, to reserve a lunch.

“CANCER FACTS FOR MEN AND WOMEN” SEMINAR Jan. 13, 10:30-11 a.m. at the Senior Citizens’ Council of Greater Augusta and the CSRA. Call 826-4480.

FREE BLOOD PRESSURE SCREENING Jan. 12, 10-11 a.m., at the Senior Citizens’ Council of Greater Augusta and the CSRA. Call 826-4480 for more information.

“LIVING SMART” SEMINAR on the Cancer Society’s Guide to Eating Healthy and Being Active will be presented Jan. 6, 10:30-11 a.m. at the Senior Citizens’ Council of Greater Augusta and the CSRA. Call 826-4480.

AUGUSTA FUTURITY Jan. 22-21 at the Augusta-Richmond County Civic Center. Visit www.augustafuturity.com for details.

MARTIN LUTHER KING BASKETBALL GAME Jan. 19, 6-9 p.m. at the Smith-Hazel Recreation Center. Cost is $50 per team to play and $1 per person to watch. Call (803) 642-7635 to enter.

FAMILY Y YOUTH SOCCER REGISTRATION through Jan. 17 at Wheeler Branch and Marshall Branch and Feb. 23March 12 at Southside Branch. Call 738-6678, 364-3669 or 738-6680 for details.

SPRING SOCCER LEAGUE REGISTR ATION for boys and girls through Jan. 12 at Citizens Park II in Aiken. League play begins in Februar y, and par ticipants must be ages 5 and older as of Sept. 1, 2004. Call (803) 642-7761.

K AR ATE at the Augusta Jewish Communit y Center begin Jan. 12. Co-ed classes available for children 5-15 years old. Cost is $150 for 12-week session. 228-3636.

FAMILY Y RECREATIONAL GYMNASTICS session held March 8-May 14. Classes available for toddlers through teens. Call 738-6678.

2004 EAST COAST SILVER GLOVES BOXING CHAMPIONSHIPS Jan. 8-10, 7 p.m., at May Park Gym. Tickets are $4 for adults and $2 for children. For additional information, call 733-7533.

THE AUGUSTA FLASH 14 AND UNDER FAST-PITCH TRAVEL TEAM is looking for players for the 2004 season.

Tryouts will be held Jan. 10, 2-5 p.m. in Grovetown. For more information, contact Jeff Towe, 868-8485 or 7715618 or Vicki Parker, 854-7711.

THE AUGUSTA VOLLEYBALL ASSOCIATION is looking for new members. For more information, visit www.augustavolleyball.com.

AUGUSTA LYNX HOME GAMES Jan. 11 and 15-17. For tickets, call 724-4423 or visit www.augustalynx.com.

THE AUGUSTA RUGBY CLUB is always looking for new members. Teams available for women and men; no experience necessar y. Practice is Tuesday and Thursday nights, 7-9 p.m. at Richmond Academy. For more information, call Don Zuehlke, 495-2043, or email augustar fc@yahoo.com. You may also visit www.augustarugby.org.

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24 M E T R O S P I R I T J A N

DIVORCE G H

ET ELP WITH THE PIECES

8 2 0 0 4

BEGINNING IN JANUARY

“Picking Up The Pieces: Moving On After Divorce” Four Sunday afternoon workshops

BEGINNING IN FEBRUARY

Divorce Aware Monday night support group Closes to new members after Feb. 16 Free childcare on request

WARREN BAPTIST

For more information, call 860-1586

Volunteer FORTE INTERNATIONAL EXCHANGE ASSOCIATION is in need of local host families for high school international exchange students for the 2004-2005 school year. For more information, contact Tracy Klemens, (678) 358-5890.

A ARP TA X-AIDE is looking for volunteers to dedicate four or more hours per week from Feb. 1-April 15 assisting senior ta xpayers. Five-day free training course for Ta x-Aide volunteers begins in Januar y. For more information, contact William J. Kozel at 210-3048.

THE EARNED INCOME TAX CREDIT COALITION is looking for volunteers with basic computer skills to prepare ta x returns for individuals with low and limited income, individuals with disabilities, non-English speaking persons and elderly ta xpayers. Volunteers receive free training and instruction materials from the IRS and will serve at VITA sites throughout the community. For more information, contact Sheryl Silva, 826-4480, ex t. 341.

AUGUSTA/CSRA HABITAT FOR HUMANITY needs volunteers at ReStore, Walton Way and Tenth Street, to assist with receiving donations of new and used building and home improvement materials and warehousing them for sale to the public. The store is open Thursday-Saturday year-round. If you can commit eight or more hours per month, contact Steve Buck, 364-7637.

MENTORS AND VOLUNTEERS needed to provide suppor t for MACH Academy at the May Park Communtiy Center and the Fleming Tennis Center. Education, tutoring and technology sessions held Monday-Thursday, 3-6 p.m. at each location. Tennis instruction and fitness activities held MondayThursday, 6-7 p.m. at May Park and Monday-Tuesday, 6-8 p.m., Friday, 6-8 p.m. and Saturday, 2-5 p.m. at the Fleming Center. 796-5046.

FOSTER PARENTS NEEDED for children and teen-agers in Richmond County. For information, contact Luera Lewis, 721-3718.

PHINIZY SWAMP NATURE PARK VISITOR CENTER is in need of volunteers to greet visitors, hand out literature and sell merchandise. Volunteers must commit to one Saturday or Sunday each month, from either 9 a.m.-1 p.m. or 1-5 p.m. 828-2109.

UNITED HOSPICE OF AUGUSTA is in need of volunteers to suppor t terminally ill patients. Scheduling and training times are flexible. Call Donna Harrell at 650-1522 for information.

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THE ARTISTS’ CONSERVATORY THEATRE OF THE CSRA is looking for volunteer board members, actors and production crew. Call 556-9134 or e-mail act@theatermail.net.

SERVICE CORPS OF RETIRED EXECUTIVES (SCORE) provides counseling and mentoring to businesspeople star ting up a new business or expanding an ongoing business.

Services are provided free of charge. For more information, call the Augusta of fice at 793-9998.

SOUTHERNCARE HOSPICE SERVICE is currently seeking volunteers to per form a variety of tasks, including relieving caregivers, reading to patients and running errands.

Training is included. For additional information, contact Lisa Simpson, (803) 463-9888 or 869-0205.

COURT APPOINTED SPECIAL ADVOCATE PROGRAM VOLUNTEER TRAINING: The CASA program is looking for volunteers 21 years of age and older to advocate for abused and neglected children in the juvenile cour t system. Volunteers need no experience and will be provided with specialized training. Call 737-4631.

CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY NEW VOLUNTEER ORIENTATION PROGRAM the third Saturday of every month at the Pet Center, 425 Wood St. Orientation starts at 11 a.m. Volunteers under 18 years of age must have a parent or guardian present during orientation and while volunteering. Call 261-PETS for information.

THE KITTY ORTIZ DE LEON FOUNDATION needs volunteers to help promote organ donor awareness. For more information, please contact Cassandra Reed or Espy De Leon at 394-0838 or kodfoundation@aol.com.

Up to $190 Savings!

GOLDEN HARVEST FOOD BANK needs volunteers during the day, from 8:30 a.m.-4 p.m. Monday-Friday, to help sor t donated products and assist in their agency shopping area.

Help is needed year-round. If you are able to lift 25 pounds, can commit to at least 3-4 hours per month and would like

to help fight hunger in the Augusta area, contact Laurie Roper at 736-1199, ex t. 208.

AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL: New volunteer orientation is scheduled the first Saturday of each month at 1 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Schedule subject to change; call 790-6836 to verify dates and times.

SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER is seeking donors to prevent a blood supply shor tage. To donate call 737-4551, 854-1880 or (803) 643-7996.

Meetings FRIENDS OF COLUMBIA COUNTY LIBR ARIES MEETING Jan. 13, 7 p.m., at the Gibbs Librar y. Call 8631946 for information.

THE LEUKEMIA AND LYMPHOMA SOCIETY TEAM IN TR AINING INFO MEETING 6:30 p.m. Jan. 22 at The Clubhouse on Washington Road. Call 667-7101 or visit www.teamintraining.org.

GIBBS LIBRARY BOOK DISCUSSION GROUP meets 7 p.m.

Jan. 19 to discuss “Plainsong” by Kent Haruf. 863-1946.

AARP CHAPTER 266 MEETING 2-3 p.m. Jan. 13 at the Senior Citizens’ Council of Greater Augusta and the CSRA. Call 826-4480.

BEGINNER LEVEL VIDEO MAKER CLUB meets the third Thursday of every month, 5:30-7:30 p.m. at the Maxwell Library. Contact Louise Coe at 592-6464.

“THE FIRST STEP” DIVORCE RECOVERY WORKSHOP meets Sundays through Feb. 29 from 4-6 p.m. in Room 201 of the Walton Building at First Baptist Church. Free to the public. Free childcare for kids up to age 5. No registration is required. For more information, call 733-2236 or visit www.fbcaugusta.org.

THE AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF THE AMERICAN SINGLES GOLF ASSOCIATION meets the second Thursday of every month at different restaurants in the Augusta area. Open to those single, 21 and over. Call (803) 441-6741 for more information and meeting location.

THE AUGUSTA METRO CHAMBER OF COMMERCE AND THE COLUMBIA COUNTY CHAMBER OF COMMERCE ANNUAL MEETING with Sonny Perdue Jan. 8 at the Radission Riverfront Hotel. Registration and seating begins at 11:30 a.m. with lunch from 11:45 a.m.-1:30 p.m. Tickets are $30 per person or $300 for a corporate table. Call Elizabeth Donsbach at 821-1324 for information and tickets.

Weekly OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS meets every Sunday night, 7:30 p.m., at Holy Trinity Lutheran Church in Nor th Augusta. For more information, call 278-5156.

NAR-ANON FAMILY GROUP for relatives and friends of drug abusers. No dues or fees. The group meets Mondays at 7 p.m. Call for location. For information, contact Josie, 414-5576, or Lionel, 860-0302.

GAMBLERS ANONYMOUS meets Thursdays, 7:30 p.m., in the basement of Fair view Presby terian Church. 1-800-313-0170.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: For more information and a meeting schedule, call 860-8331.

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS: If you want to stop using any drugs, there is a way out. Help is available at no cost. Call the Narcotics Anonymous help line for information and meeting schedules at 855-2419.

SEXAHOLICS ANONYMOUS, a 12-step program of recovery from addiction to obsessive/compulsive sexual thoughts and behaviors, meets Wednesdays at 8 p.m. at Christ Church Unity, 2301 Central Ave. Call 339-1204 and leave first name and phone number; a confidential reply is assured.

GUIDELINES: Public service announcements are listed in this section without charge at the discretion of the editor.

Announcements must be received by Monday at noon and will be included as space permits. Send to Events, Metro Spirit, P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914 or fa x (706) 733-6663. You may also e-mail listings to rhonda.jones@metrospirit.com or lisa.jordan@metrospirit.com. Listings cannot be taken over the phone.

www.metrospirit.com

25

Arts: Theatre

M E T R O

Offerings From ACP and Mini Theatre

H

erb Gardner’s comedy “A Thousand Clowns” has not been performed in Augusta in recent memory – i.e., over the past two years or so. I, for one, had to go searching for a synopsis just to see what the story entailed. Critics and viewers who have seen the movie released in the mid-‘60s seem to be of two minds concerning the main character, Murray Burns. Some see him as a rebel who refuses to be hemmed in by societal expectations that threaten to suck the soul straight from his body; others see him as a slacker.

Burns is a writer for a children’s television show, who has become burned out with his day-to-day trip to the office. He lives in a small apartment with his 12year-old nephew, Nick, whom he is busy teaching some rather interesting life lessons, like the one imbedded in this quote of his: “You’ve gotta own your own days and name ‘em! Each one of ‘em! Or else the years go right by, and none of them belong to you.”

He has been out of work for about half a year when the Child Welfare Bureau becomes involved, and he is ultimately left with a difficult choice: Go back to work for a man he hates, thereby losing the respect of this beloved little boy, or have the child taken away from him and lose him to the system he despises.

Burns does what most reasonable people would: He goes back to work.

If all of this sounds familiar to you but you’re having trouble figuring out why, you may have seen the movie released by MGM in 1965, staring Jason Robards as a reportedly lovable Burns, uttering lines like “I’ve been attacked by Ladies’ Home Journal!” upon seeing that someone has straightened and decorated his apartment.

The “freedom versus responsibility” theme of the story is probably part and parcel of the time period that playwright Gardner penned the script. “A Thousand Clowns” went to Broadway in 1962, during a time when people were “turning on, tuning in and dropping out,” a reaction to the highly restrictive 1950s.

It was remounted in its original form as a play in 2001 with Tom Selleck (“Magnum P.I.”) in the leading role.

Gardner died Sept. 24 at age 68. He’d written only a handful of plays. “A Thousand Clowns,” “I’m Not Rappaport” and “Conversations With My Father” did well on Broadway, with “A Thousand Clowns” nominated for a Tony Award.

His other plays, which apparently didn’t just do badly, but did atrociously, included “The Goodbye People.”

Aiken Community Playhouse will run “A

Thousand Clowns” Jan. 9-10, 16-18 and 23-24. Friday and Saturday performances are at 8 p.m., with Sunday matinees at 3 p.m. Performances are held at the Washington Center for the Performing Arts at 124 Newberry Street in downtown Aiken, S.C. If you wish to make reservations, you

By Rhonda Jones

plumber, for example, you don’t call an African-American plumber. You call somebody else.”

“If we’re going to keep the dream alive of Dr. Martin Luther King,” he added, “we need to take a look at these things. If it hurt my self-esteem, it’s going to hurt

Find out “What Black Folk Say About Black Folk” with the Augusta Mini Theatre, Jan. 15-18. can do so during box office hours before the beginning of each production. Reservations must be claimed 15 minutes prior to curtain.

For info, call (803) 648-1438, write to info@aikencommunityplayhouse.com or visit www.aikencommunityplayhouse.com.

“What Black Folk Say About Black Folk” That’s the newest title by Augusta Mini Theatre, written by its founding director, Tyrone Butler. It’s being performed by the Mini Theatre this month in conjunction with its yearly tribute to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Butler recently spoke with Metro Spirit with regard to his inspiration.

“This play really is about what I’ve heard all my life as a child growing up and hearing these things,” he said. “I heard them so much that I began to believe that they were true. They were very funny, and when people would say them they would laugh.”

He said that, since black people were saying themselves that people of their race were “dumb” and “lazy,” for instance, he thought it must be true. And since he was black, he deduced those things must be true about him as well.

“And so you go to school and you don’t do as well because you believe that. And then when you grow up and you need a

S P I R I T

other African-American youth.”

Butler said, though, that he has gotten over believing those things. “This play is about putting these things out there on stage and in writing and letting AfricanAmericans see how harmful they are – and that they’re not true. AfricanAmericans are an intellectual people.”

He said that his work with the play led him to wonder where these ideas originated. His research, he said, leads him to believe that it started during slavery.

“The light African-American slaves were treated differently than darker slaves.

With the lighter one getting treated better than the darker one, it started this strife, jealousy. Maybe it started there. I’m using the word maybe.

“You’re saying, ‘That’s a long time ago, Tyrone.’ But these things just seem to catch on.”

Whatever their origin, he said, the sayings have to stop if African-Americans as a people are going to unite. “If we keep saying these things, we’re going to destroy ourselves through degradation.”

The play itself, he said, is really a series of one-page skits, held together with a poem of Butler’s titled “Destruction Through Degradation,” depicting a slave ship on its way to America.

“The slaves do this poem to set us up

that maybe all of this started back in slavery,” he said.

He said it’s about an hour and a half, and is one of the few Mini Theatre plays that actually has an intermission.

He said it’s an appropriate piece for a Martin Luther King Jr. tribute because it focuses on equality for all people. “To keep King’s dream alive, we must feel that we are equal. We can’t put negativity out there. Without some self-esteem they don’t feel that they are equal; they feel that they are always struggling, and they shouldn’t be.”

His wife, Judy, is appearing in “What Black Folks Say…” It will be her first time on stage in about three or four years.

“What Black Folk Say About Black Folk” will run Jan. 15-16 at 8 p.m. and Jan. 17-18 at 3 p.m. and 8 p.m., at 430 8th Street in downtown Augusta. For info, call (706) 722-0598.

Another Dramatic Victory After many rejections, a play of Butler’s, titled “Pickin’,” has been accepted by Pioneer Drama Services publishing company, which can be found at www.pioneerdrama.com. The play will appear in their catalog, which goes out to schools and drama groups, who then order from the catalogue. For Butler, that means royalty checks.

He said it is about what can happen when school teasing goes on too long. “‘Pickin’ really is about my life. They say a person always writes about what they know and I found that to be true.”

When he was a kid in school, Butler said, the kids used to pick on a student who often wet his pants in school. “We called him ‘Pee Boy’ and he had to hear this every day, and for some reason he didn’t retaliate. I started thinking, what if there were guns around? What would he have done?”

In his play, “Pee Boy’s” name is Billy.

He retaliates during a football game and is killed by police officers, but only after killing some of his fellow students.

“The main thing is to stop students from picking at each other and to appreciate others’ differences.”

Even that play, he associates with his desire to “keep the dream alive.”

“King wanted people to do what they were made to do in this world. … When you strengthen young people, you strengthen this country.”

I asked him if he set out to write so many socially aware plays.

“I don’t sit down and say I’m going to write a play about this, but it seems that whatever comes out it all has that depth to it and I know it’s all inspired by the death of Dr. Martin Luther King.”

J A N 8 2 0 0 4

26 M E T R O S P I R I T J A N 8 2 0 0 4

Arts: Music

Violins, Percussion or Classical Guitar?

D

on’t go looking for tickets for “Frankly French,” the midJanuary concert advertised in the Augusta Symphony season brochure. The concert has now been retitled. Its new name is “Featuring Our Own,” and still showcases the talents of violinist and concertmaster Ryan Kho and principal percussionist Matthew Jones, both members of the Augusta Symphony orchestra.

Kho will give us a go on the SaintSaens Violin Concerto No. 3, and Jones will play the Milhaud Concerto for Percussion. Mendelssohn’s “The Hebrides, op. 46 (Fingal’s Cave),” Bernstein’s “Symphony No. 1” (“Jeremiah”) and Bernstein’s “On the Town” will also be performed.

And here’s what all that means.

Mendelssohn wrote the “Hebrides Overture” after a visit to a grotto in Scotland, which also inspired his “Scottish Symphony.” Here is what his friend Ferdinand Hiller wrote in a memoir dedicated to Mendelssohn.

(Apparently, his composer buddy had brought him the score just after scribbling it down.) Hiller related Mendelssohn’s description of how the piece was conceived: “He told me that not only had its form and color been suggested to him by the sight of Fingal’s Cave, but that the first few bars, containing the principal subject, had actually occurred to him on the spot.”

Apparently, there is a climax in a “wave-like motion” (according to www.orpheusmusicprose.com), with the work growing ever more passionate, with musical themes popping in and out, and the whole thing ending on a quiet note.

Camille Saint-Saens, who wrote the “Concerto No. 3 in B minor for Violin and Orchestra,” was a Frenchman who had compositions dripping from his pores and every bodily orifice. This particular piece is written for that most heartwrenching of all instruments, the solo violin. Kho’s violin will, however, be backed up by the orchestra, complete with muted violins and violas.

The man who dared write a concerto for percussion, Darius Milhaud, was the son of a man who owned an almond shop, and grew up hearing the women who worked for his father singing the songs of Provençal France. (Milhaud was raised in Aix-en-Provence.) His father enjoyed playing the piano, and recognized what a budding musician he had in a son, and therefore provided for his musical education. When World War I

By Rhonda Jones

began, he wound up in South America as a result of time spent in the propaganda department of the French Foreign Legion, and was therefore surrounded by much percussive music. It is thought by some that such exposure resulted in his invention of the percussion concerto.

Whatever led to the genre’s birth, the concerto should be an interesting one.

Leonard Bernstein, as you may recall, composed the popular musical “West Side Story,” as well as other favorites. He wrote “The Jeremiah Symphony” in 1942.

Kho and Jones will present “Featuring Our Own” on Jan. 17 at 8 p.m. at Augusta State University’s Grover C. Maxwell Performing Arts Theatre. To order tickets, visit the Augusta Symphony Web site at www.augustasymphony.org; mail an order form to The Augusta Symphony, P.O. Box 579, Augusta, Ga., 30903; call (706) 826-4705; or visit the box office at Sacred Heart Cultural Center at 1301 Greene Street between the hours of 9 a.m. and 5 p.m.

And Then There’s Tuesday’s Music Live Classical guitarist Keith Gehle is the next performer to come play at St. Paul’s for the Tuesday lunchtime concert. If you would like to check out his sound, visit www.keithgehle.com to listen to a few selections from his CD “Winter Song.”

You can hear snippets from such original titles as “Into the Mist,” “Daybreak,” “Willow,” “Winter’s Song” and “Variation on an Irish Theme.” Honestly, the “Irish Theme” piece is reminiscent of a piece played on a harp, so we can safely say that, if you enjoy harp music, you will enjoy Gehle’s work.

After seeing a photograph of Gehle holding his guitar at an angle in which the fretboard was elevated, atop a prop on his thigh, I was reminded that I sometimes wonder why classical guitarists hold their instruments differently than do other acoustic guitarists, and if there are other differences between classical and other guitar styles.

He said that it’s basically about the fact that classical guitarists employ fingerpicking exclusively. “The music is so much more intricate to play, rather than strumming.” he said, adding that there are other differences as well, including in the physical makeup of the guitar itself.

“The classical guitar is a nylon string instrument rather than steel (strings), with the strings spaced wider.” That spacing, he said, is to make it easier to pick with the fingers. Unlike folk, country and rock guitarists, classical guitarists do not use a

Classical guitarist Keith Gehle plays at St. Paul’s Jan. 13. pick. They manipulate the strings with each finger of the picking hand.

As for the pieces, he plays, he said that “Winter’s Song” is original music. “My latest CD is not my own, actually. The pieces are all from the Romantic era, composers from the 19th century. Many of them are my own arrangements, but not my own compositions.”

For those of you who are musically challenged like myself, that means that he took music for one instrument and made it fit another.

“Another term is ‘transcription,’” he said. “Taking a piece of music and adapting to another instrument or another setting. A transcription would be literally moving a piece of music from a piano score to a guitar score. So many of the pieces on my new CD would be almost literally transcriptions.”

By way of explaining how his life took this particular road, he said the following: “I started when I was 12 – that would have been the late ‘70s, Like any other 12-year-old, I was inspired by the radio.”

He said he started with the acoustic guitar before moving to the electric, but when he set out to earn a music degree

at the University of Georgia, he discovered that he needed to learn the classical style, which he’d had no experience with. Once, he delved into it, though, that was all she wrote.

“I pretty much fell in love with it (the classical style) right away,” he said.

His latest CD is titled “Nocturne,” and is the music of the Romantic period.

For the Augusta concert he said, he’ll be pulling from both “Nocturne” and “Winter’s Song.”

“Well I’ll be doing a combination of originals from the last CD and a couple of things from the new CD.” The performance, he said, will be just under 30 minutes.

“Nocturne,” he said, contains work by Spanish composers, but some popularly known composers like Frederick Chopin make an appearance as well.

Tuesday’s Music Live featuring Keith Gehle will take place Jan. 13 at noon at St. Paul’s church downtown, at 6th Street and Reynolds. The program is free unless you decide to reserve lunch, which is $7.

To reserve lunch, call (706) 722-3463.

For other info, call (706) 724-2485.

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27 M E T R O S P I R I T J A N 8

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2 0 0 4

28 M E T R O S P I R I T

Cinema

J A N

“Chasing Liberty”

Movie Listings

8

Warner Bros. Pictures

2 0 0 4

Bad Santa (R) — For very jaded kids and adults already sick of the holiday season but needing a cup of bile nog. If that is you, there is amusing alienation from Billy Bob Thornton as an alcoholic thief and cranky depar tment store Santa, Tony Cox as his rancid "elf" and Bernie Mac, Cloris Leachman and the late John Rit ter, directed with zip plot but a jingle of crass flippancy by Terry "Crumb" Zwigof f. Running time: 1 hr., 33 mins. (Elliot t) ★★1/2 Big Fish (PG-13) — The center of this film is stolid William Bloom (Billy Crudup). Near the end of his father's long life, Bill is still peeved with the old boy for telling so many tall stories, for endlessly embroidering the truth with his drawlin' Dixie whoppers.

Beneficiaries of his motorized mouth include wife Sandy (Jessica Lange) and Jenny, the woman who wanted him, a pinin' lady of the pines (Helena Bonham Car ter). The movie isn't deep or risky enough to earn the catch in the throat it finally asks for. But it has the appeal of good times remembered and cute, cranky lines like, "Most things considered wicked are simply lonely and lacking in social niceties." Cast: Alber t Finney, Ewan McGregor, Billy Crudup, Jessica Lange, Helena Bonham Car ter, Steve Buscemi. Running time: 1 hr., 50 mins. (Elliot) ★★1/2 Calendar Girls (PG-13) — The story begins in tragedy: Annie's (Julie Walters) wise, gentle husband John (John Alder ton) contracts, then dies of, leukemia.

Wanting to do something, she determines to provide a decent sofa for the visitors to the hospital's sick and dying patients. What bet ter way than through the Women's Institute's annual calendar? A problem: How

to boost sales? She and her naughty-girl girlfriend Chris (Helen Mirren) come up with a most improbable scheme, and enlist enough of their fellow 40- and 50something W.I. members to make it happen. Mirren and Walters simply don't have enough story to work with; they seem almost to be flailing in their at tempt to gin up some drama from the flaccid script. Cast: Helen Mirren, Julie Walters, John Alder ton, Linda Basset t, Penelope Wilton. Running time: 1 hr., 48 mins. (Salm) ★★ The Cat in the Hat (PG) — This bulldozing movie has about as much to do with Dr. Seuss’ wit ty and impressively drawn kids' books as Adam Sandler has with Molière. It's a brash defilement of Geisel's most famous work, yet so compulsively cheery that people might try to ignore the obvious. Mike Myers plays the Cat in a big hat and costume of fake fur that stifles his amusing features. He's supposed to be the spirit of wild, impish fun, helping lif t the depressed scamp Conrad (pudgy, likable Spencer Breslin) and his control-freak sister, Sally (Dakota Fanning), a dwar fish total woman who star ts of f each day by making a list.

Director Bo Welch's technique is to just keep hurling (both senses of the word apply). His tireless approach is astoundingly tiresome. Cast: Mike Myers, Dakota Fanning, Alec Baldwin, Spencer Breslin, Kelly Preston.

Running time: 1 hr., 32 mins. (Elliot t) ★ Chasing Liberty (PG-13) — Mandy Moore stars as the teen-age daughter of the U.S. President, an only child whose every move is scrutinized by the media, secret service agents and the public. On a trip to Europe with her parents, she sneaks of f to tour the continent with a boy she barely knows. Cast: Mandy

Focus Films

“21 Grams”

RATINGS ★★★★ — Excellent.

Moore, Jeremy Piven, Annabella Sciorra, Mark Harmon, Caroline Goodall.

Cheaper by the Dozen (PG) — To make an old (1950) Clif ton Webb comedy without Clifton Webb is a serious loss, but get ting Steve Mar tin — a vanillashaked version of Webb's snappish fussiness — is not a bad idea for "Cheaper By the Dozen." He's engaging as Tom Baker, football coach and father of 12 kids.

Bonnie Hunt plays the wife and mom, Kate, looking aw fully good despite the wear. The Bakers have a great life in a small town where Tom coaches, but he's hired to go to a bigger team outside Chicago, and the only story is the stress on the family from their move.

The film is simple and obvious and plastic, but diver ting. Designed to be fluf f, it's fluf fy all the time. Cast: Steve Mar tin, Bonnie Hunt, Piper Perabo, Hilary Duf f, Richard Jenkins. Running time: 1 hr., 34 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Cold Mountain (R) — Sick of the war, the wounded Confederate soldier Inman (Jude Law) trudges back home to Cold Mountain, N.C. Waiting for him, he hopes, is the woman he briefly knew, Ada (Nicole Kidman), the polished daughter of a preacher (Donald Sutherland). It's their unrequited love that draws Inman back, along with the land, and that keeps Ada going as she learns how to survive in the almost lawless country. Pushed along by old tunes that burr and rasp in the "O Brother, Where Ar t Thou?" mode, the movie has rhy thm, but it overall feels like just one darn hard day af ter another. Cast: Jude Law, Nicole Kidman, Renee Zellweger, Brendan Gleeson, Natalie Por tman, Philip Seymour Hof fman, Donald Sutherland, Giovanni Ribisi. Running time: 2 hrs., 21 mins. (Elliot t) ★★1/2 The Fighting Temptations (PG-13) — Cuba Gooding Jr. plays Darrin, a junior adver tising exec with secrets. He's nearly broke and he lied on his resume to get his job. Then the worst-case scenario happens: His deception is discovered af ter he helps to land a major account for the company. Then he learns that his Aunt Sally has passed away and he's expected to at tend her funeral as her last surviving relative. Darrin learns that he'll gain a huge inheritance if he whips the church choir into shape in time for a gospel contest.

This is where "The Fighting Temptations" falls into the pit of stupidity. What saves the movie from being a total stinker is the music. As for Gooding, he seems to have confused charm and enthusiasm for acting. Cast: Cuba Gooding Jr., Beyonce Knowles, Mike Epps, Melba Moore, Angie Stone, The O'Jays, Montell Jordan and Rue McClanahan. Running time: 1 hr., 28 mins.

(McCormick) ★★ Freaky Friday (PG) — It’s the updated version of

about ghosts and curses. Eddie Murphy is a workaholic real estate agent and a smooth-talking sleazebag.

A promising real-estate deal turns out to be more than he bargains for, and his eagerness to scope out a house on the way to a family vacation leaves his entire family stranded at a creepy, cobweb-ridden Louisiana mansion with a curse. The result is a movie that, while consistently amusing, plays like a hackneyed ef for t to stretch a few minutes of ride into a coherent, hourand-a-half story. Running time: 1 hr., 39 mins. (Fu) ★★ Honey (PG-13) — Like having the fluids drained out of your system and replaced by a sugar-loaded, mixed-drink concoction of a color not found in nature.

Honey Daniels (Jessica Alba) bar tends, dances and teaches hip-hop dance at a youth center. Discovered, she makes a fast splash as a music-video dancer and choreographer. There are jolts of energy from occasional moments of hip-hop frenzy, but the editing is so rapid-fire that what appears on the screen looks more like a video game than dance. Will Honey remember her old pals in the 'hood? Why, yes. First "Radio," now this; uplif t has never seemed so enervating. Running time: 1 hr., 28 mins. (Salm) ★1/2 The Last Samurai (R) — Tom Cruise stars as Nathan Algren, a heroic Civil War veteran and then embit tered cavalry man, reduced to heavy drinking and shilling for a gun company. Algren goes to Japan, paid to train the new imperial army in modern ways and weapons. But he finds himself drawn to the insurgent cause and almost idyllic life in the hills of samurai leader Katsumoto (Watanabe), who fights for the old ways and hopes to win over the adolescent emperor from greedy modernists. Having come to teach, Algren stays to learn. He is captured af ter impressing Katsumoto with his fighting spirit; the "barbarian" has a tiger within. "The Last Samurai" bides its time, has a predictable plot, but gives pleasure of a sustained kind.

Cast: Tom Cruise, Ken Watanabe, Tony Goldwyn, Timothy Spall, Koyuki. Running time: 2 hrs., 24 mins.

(Elliot t) ★★★

the ‘70s film, starring Jamie Lee Cur tis as a frazzled mom and Lindsay Lohan as her rebellious teen-age daughter. The two are constantly arguing and both wish they could be someone else. When their wish comes true and the two end up switching bodies, they have to find a way back to their normal selves – before Mom walks down the aisle again. Cast: Jamie Lee Cur tis, Lindsay Lohan, Mark Harmon, Christina Vidal.

The Haunted Mansion (PG) — Another movie based on a ride at Disneyland, again featuring cheesy, story-altering references to the rides, as well as plots

those are long minutes. The last 20 can feel like an hour, for clearly creator Peter Jackson didn't wish to let his saga go. Bernard Hill, Viggo Mor tensen and Orlando Bloom are impressive fighters, and Cate Blanchet t makes a gorgeous Galadriel. This is posing, not acting. Sir Ian McKellen acts very well as noble Gandalf, but lines about hear t, courage and fate make him Lord For tune Cookie. "Lord" is all epic, all the time. Jackson loves bat tles, which means hurling dense masses of mostly computerized fighters at one another. If the clima x bat tle this time is more overpowering than the Helm's Deep boggler in "Two Towers,"

★★★— Worthy.

★★ — Mixed.

★ — Poor.

Looney Tunes: Back in Action (PG) —

Director Joe Dante's hip game plan is a double-decker: one deck of enter tainment for kids (and teens who don't scof f at kids' movies), another for the grown, if not greatly more adult, viewers. Brendan Frasier stars with Bugs Bunny, Daf fy Duck and the stable of Warner Bros. car toon characters. Joining Frasier are Timothy Dalton, Joan Cusack, Jenna Elfman, and Locklear and Steve Mar tin as the mastermind villian. Running time: 1 hr., 32 mins. (Elliot) ★★★

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (PG-13) — lasts 200 minutes, and some of

0— Not worthy.

But Ben lef t behind a kit of clues, and he's put them together, despite the big memory lapse. He even got a state lot tery payof f for himself to compensate for the lost loot. And try to believe in Uma Thurman as tagalong Rachel, trying to inser t some emotions between the clacking wheels of plot. At times, you may believe the script's memory has been evaporated. If whole pages are gone or hurled together in a lot tery numbers bin, would we much notice, or care? Cast: Ben Af fleck, Uma Thurman, Aaron Eckhar t, Paul Giamat ti.

Running time: 1 hr., 50 mins. (Elliot t) ★1/2 Peter Pan (PG) — P.J. Hogan's film is like a cyberized revamp of Disney, but every thing is brighter, fuller, glitzier, with live actors and lots of mat ted ef fects. Capt. Hook's pirate ship is a vir tual theme park awaiting customers. The feared crocodile seems to be from some Jurassic park. Clouds are so pink and cotton-candied you expect Peter and the others to get stuck in them. The magic can get a lit tle ballistic. It's a remarkably sensual film. The action scenes are amusingly zest ful, Peter is adorable but not too cute, the pirates are a spry bunch of uglies, but it's the characters connecting emotionally that makes "Peter Pan" fly.

For kids, the movie is a sure thing. Cast: Jason Isaacs, Jeremy Sumpter, Rachel Hurd-Wood, Lynn Redgrave, Olivia Williams, Richard Briars. Running time: 1 hr., 32 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★

Touhstone Pictures

“Calendar Girls”

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (PG-13) — The movie will be a

does it truly deepen the story? Maybe it is just more spectacle, as clima xes are stacked high and then the epic winds down with Elijah Woods as Frodo (now mildly matured) exiting sweetly, his destiny done.

Cast: Ian McKellen, Elijah Wood, Cate Blanchet t, Viggo Mor tensen, Ian Holm, Orlando Bloom, Sean Astin.

Running time: 3 hrs., 20 mins. ★★ Love Actually (R) — opens and closes with people hugging and kissing at London's Heathrow Airpor t.

In between, you might yearn to fly away. Top confet ti is the prime minister: Hugh Grant with his sweetly sly grace, but so impishly weightless he seems fit to lead a croquet match, not a nation. Meanwhile, Colin Fir th is recovering from his wife's infidelity by slowly cour ting a Por tuguese housekeeper (Lucia Moniz); sulky Alan Rickman fondles the idea of cheating on his dear, sane wife (Emma Thompson); Liam Neeson, recovering from his wife's death, encourages the puppy love of his kid (Tom Sangster). This giggle-fest is a spree of gag situations, maudlin moments and aggressive pop tunes. If you like Christmas goose stuf fed with sequins, don't forget the chutney Spam with a warm side of chips. Cast: Hugh Grant, Bill Nighy, Emma Thompson, Colin Fir th, Laura Linney, Keira Knightley, Rowan Atkinson, Alan Rickman. Running time: 2 hrs., 8 mins. (Elliot t) ★1/2 Love Don’t Cost a Thing (PG-13) — “Love Don’t Cost a Thing” is a remake of the 1987 teen comedy “Can’t Buy Me Love.” An unpopular geek blackmails a cheerleader into posing as his girlfriend in an at tempt to improve his reputation. Cast: Nick Cannon, Christina Milian, Vanessa Bell Calloway, Kal Penn, Steve Harvey, Kenan Thompson.

Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (PG-13) — The best film yet about men fighting at sea under sail. Two of Patrick O'Brian's books have been beautifully transposed into a cogent and moving tale of the Napoleonic Wars. Capt. Aubrey (Russell Crowe) and his friend Dr. Maturin (Paul Bet tany) bond tightly despite amusing frictions and lead through storm and shot a stout crew against a French ship larger and bet ter built. It all fits and works like good seamanship, under Peter Weir's direction, manly

without fakery. Running time: 2 hrs., 19 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★★ Mona Lisa Smile (PG-13) — Julia Rober ts has no Mona Lisa smile — enigmatic coyness isn't in her range — but her big, horsey grin flashes its horse sense and beaming charm through much of "Mona Lisa Smile," and viewers can smile in return. She plays Katherine Watson, a "Bohemian from California" who in 1953 comes to Wellesley College to teach ar t history.

Katherine is, of course, a Pacific breeze, a progressive, star tled to find that her class has mastered the curriculum tex t before her arrival. She quickly teaches the "girls" to stop being rote drones and confront a grand new Jackson Pollock, the holy grail of Ike Era modernism. The movie has pinches of ar t history, but takes more time with Katherine's love life. Cast: Julia Rober ts, Kirsten Dunst, Julia Stiles, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Constance Baker, Ginnifer Goodwin, Dominic West, Marcia Gay Harden. Running time: 1 hr., 57 mins. ★★1/2 My Baby’s Daddy (PG-13) — A trio of par tying bachelors from the ‘hood must curb their wild ways when they discover all three of their girlfriends are pregnant at the same time. Cast: Eddie Grif fin, Anthony Anderson, Method Man, Bai Ling, Paula Jai Parker.

Out of Time (PG-13) — John Billingsley stars as Chae, a drunken wiseguy and pathologist who trades corkers with Police Chief Mat t Whitlock (Denzel Washington), who sloshes through his latest case. The chief is suddenly the big suspect in a double murder caused by arson, af ter his incriminating, illicit af fair with past girlfriend Anne (Sanaa Lathan). Whitlock hustles through a hot day covering up the clues that point to him, while the main detective sleuthing his trail is his vampy, almost ex-wife, Alex (Eva Mendes).

Dynamic, but obsessively remote from reality, "Out of Time" is like a drive-in movie for a car junkyard. Cast: Denzel Washington, Sanaa Lathan, Dean Cain, Eva Mendes. Running time: 1 hr., 54 mins. (Elliot t) ★1/2 Paycheck (PG-13) — Ben Af fleck is a computer genius who gets his memory wiped af ter a secret, three-year project, then finds himself cheated of the $92 million payof f from creepy CEO Aaron Eckhar t.

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shocker for anyone expecting watery gruel ex tracted from a Disneyland-ride base. This "Pirates of the Caribbean" is an original, with clever plot ting, some rapierlike dialogue and a scurvy crew of first-rate second bananas. When the Black Pearl, the invincible pirate ship commanded by the dread Capt. Barbossa (Geof frey Rush) storms Por t Royal and kidnaps Elizabeth (Keira Knightly), the governor's beautiful daughter, what can her secret admirer, the lowly blacksmith Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), do but go af ter her? He's forced to team up with the immensely unreliable Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp). The movie lies becalmed when Depp/Sparrow is absent; when he's on screen, it's a rousing good time. Since he's on screen a good par t of the time, that makes "Pirates of the Caribbean" a rousing good movie. Arrrrr! Cast: Johnny Depp, Geof frey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightly, Jonathan Pryce. Running time: 2 hrs., 14 mins. (Salm) ★★★ Radio (PG) — Ed Harris is Harold Jones, the coach of the high school football team in a small South Carolina town. Coach Jones takes pity on James (Cuba Gooding Jr.), a mentally handicapped young man who mutely pushes his shopping car t past the practice field every day, and makes him a kind of team, then school, mascot. Nicknamed Radio, he melts the hear t of almost everyone he encounters. A few antagonists enter and exit periodically. The schmaltz-intolerant would be wise simply to Fed-Ex seven bucks and a vial of tears directly to Columbia Pictures. Cast: Cuba Gooding Jr. Ed Harris, Brent Sex ton, Riley Smith. Running time: 1 hr., 46 mins.

(Salm) ★1/2 Scary Movie 3 (PG-13) — The third film in the “Scary Movie” series once again spoofs a series of recent horror hits, fantasy epic films and other pop culture sensations, including “8 Mile,” “The Matrix,” “The Ring,” “The Others” and “Signs.” Cast: David Zucker, Anna Faris, Charlie Sheen, Regina Hall, Denise Richards.

The School of Rock (PG-13) — Jack Black, having learned a few things about rocking from singing and playing guitar in his band, Tenacious D, is a wannabe rock star named Dewey Finn who stumbles into a substitute teaching job. In between his outbursts of hair-metal singing and energetic dancing, he teaches his class of private school fif th graders the impor-

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tance of self-confidence and "sticking it to the man," while he, in turn, learns what it means to be a team player. At times, the film comes close to comedic mediocrity but, like its characters, is saved by rock 'n' roll. Cast: Jack Black, Joan Cusack, Mike White, Sarah Silverman. Running time: 1 hr., 48 mins. (Fu) ★★★ Something’s Gotta Give (PG-13) — Jack Nicholson plays with his cruising wolf image and his age (66), spor ting with them as compulsive single Harry Langer. Harry's latest find for a fling is svelte Marin (Amanda Peet), an auctioneer who treats him like a lusty antique. They go to her divorced parents' beach house. But when he meets mother Erica (Keaton), a playwright, the awkward moments quiver.

Harry has a sudden hear t crisis. He ends up stuck for a night with Erica. What happens is silly, knowing, wit ty, touching and abet ted def tly by a terrific score.

When someone says of Erica's new play, "It's sweet, it's smar t, it's funny," that serves as a review of the movie. Critics should be pleased to echo it. Cast: Jack Nicholson, Diane Keaton, Keanu Reeves, Frances McDormand, Amanda Peet. Running time: 1 hr., 47 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★★ Stuck on You (PG-13) — The movie is like a Pez machine dispensing pellets of gags about being "conjoined twins," as they fear and hate the term Siamese twins: "We're not Siamese!" No, they're the dif ferent-looking, but joined Bob (Mat t Damon), the quiet one, and Walt (Greg Kinnear), the "on" one.

United by gut flab and a shared liver, they work in a burger joint. But Walt has giddy acting aspirations. So they go to Hollywood. Kinnear has rumpled lightness as this show guy who just happens to have a 160pound brother to haul around like a talking tumor, while Damon sulks and frets, perhaps pondering why his other half isn't Ben Af fleck. None of this is awful — it has a brisk spirit of whimsy — but it all runs in a very narrow groove. Cast: Mat t Damon, Greg Kinnear, Eva Mendes, Cher, Wen Yann Shih, Seymour Cassel, Meryl Streep. Running time: 1 hr., 45 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ 21 Grams (R) — A combustive hash of hopeless destinies from the makers of "Amores Perros," shot in a leached but septic style, the plotline so tormented it knots up. Acting well but to numbing ef fect are Sean Penn, Naomi Wat ts, Benicio Del Toro, Charlot te Gainsbourg and Clea DuVall. Directed in a fever by Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu. Running time: 2 hrs., 5 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Under the Tuscan Sun (PG-13) — is based on Frances Mayes' book, a hit memoir of the Bay Area professor's seasonal life in Tuscany, refurbishing an old villa. Diane Lane plays Frances, always lovely and loveable even when in the grim throes of divorce. She makes a new life in Italy, empowered for the adventure by a lesbian friend (Sandra Oh) in San Francisco. In the book, Frances deepens gradually as the old house is remade, and the estate, food, wine and people saturate her spirit. But it's a dif ficult book to film. "Under the Tuscan Sun" suf fers the sunburn of radioactive pret tiness. This is la dolce vapid. Cast: Diane Lane, Sandra Oh, Raoul Bova, Lindsay Duncan, Vincent Riot ta. Running time: 1 hr., 52 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Underworld (R) — For centuries, a bat tle has been raging between vampires, sophisticated city dwellers, and Lycans, werewolf street thugs.

“Underworld” is a Gothic twist on “Romeo and Juliet,” chronicling the pit falls of young love between a vampire (Kate Beckinsale) and a Lycan (Scot t Speedman).

Cast: Kate Beckinsale, Danny McBride, Scot t Speedman, Bill Nighy, Michael Sheen.

—Capsules compiled from movie reviews written by David Elliott, film critic for The San Diego Union-Tribune and other staff writers.

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all the hillbilly character Stobrod Thewes in “Cold Mountain” a man who is “what used to be called white trash,” and Brendan Gleeson laughs heartily.

“Oh yes,” admits the actor who plays him in the big movie. “But he is redeemed! Through his music, his fiddle. He knows more than anybody what a waster he is, the more he drinks and gets into the music, which lifts him. The war (Civil War) doesn’t much matter to him, he’s a ducker and a diver, and he was ferocious with Ruby (his daughter) long before the war.

“Stobrod is mostly a danger to himself, but a tragic figure and you don’t have to go far to find him. He’s on every street corner and the back end of every pub. But his love of the music he makes shows humanity.

You just don’t want to go too far with that.

You must keep the other Stobrod mean and ignorant, also.”

So he does, with Renee Zellweger as the vital spit-clod Ruby, hating him but moved when rascal Stobrod shows up fairly late in the story. Gleeson, 48, who straddles the messily divided Irelands (born in Belfast, living now in Dublin), seizes Charles Frazier’s long story by the scruff of its meaty neck, and with brief time rises to the level of stars Zellweger, Nicole Kidman (the courtly heroine toughened) and Jude Law (the wounded Rebel soldier, returning home).

Gleeson, an open and burly man with an almost fiddle-fast Irish accent, is a knowing fan of the mountain music he got to scrapingly play and sing in the movie. As he said, “It’s very akin to the music back home. It’s not sentimental, with everyone sittin’ around making merry, but it was much more sharp-edged than that. And played with a competitive edge, like the way they talked, challenging.

“The sentiment’s there. The music is their soul. And when he’s pushed, Stobrod makes it more than the jiggedy-jig tunes. I got into Irish music over the years and I can manage a fiddle. Loved it. Invigorating, more than bluegrass, which can get too showoff and flashy.

The virtuosity thing, but things you cannot define, are what set the old-time stuff apart.”

He had “a lot of brushing up to do. But I and the other actors who played, who had musical experience, we got into it and it was exhilarating. We came together as musicians.”

Gleeson, whose other films include “Gangs of New York,” “28 Days,” “A.I.” and “Braveheart,” has acted as a pro since 1989.

He caught the bug doing theater while he was a secondary school teacher, giving us a clue why he left when he says, “It’s a remarkable profession, but it never ceases to amaze me how some people are so disinterested in the education of their kids. Of all the warped sensibilities of our time, that’s the biggest one.

They use (school) as a baby-sitting service.”

He got slotted into “Irish types,” but was also the martyred leader Michael Collins in a big TV film, went Scottish as Hamish in

Gibson’s epic, and then stunned critics with his charming yet brutal crook Cahill in John Boorman’s “The General” (1999) — the actual Cahill had stolen the gold records Boorman won for the famed banjo music in his “Deliverance.”

“I had done a spoof of gangsters in Ireland,” recalls Gleeson, “and that went over very well. I had seen documentaries on Cahill. He was a chilling individual, and he could also be hilarious. But I remember asking John, ‘Why should we make this guy a hero?’ and I resisted doing it. John shared my concerns, but we concluded it is right to humanize him, because everyone is a manifestation of humanity. ‘Inhuman’ is a cop-out. And that was liberating for me. And we really got into the gangsters’ point of view.”

Jon Voight played the pursuing, often frustrated cop who hounds Cahill, and Gleeson remembers him fondly: “He has great generosity of spirit. We filmed on this street that was being knocked down, very poor houses, and the next Saturday Jon came back in a minibus and took all the kids to the mountains. Also a very entertaining guy, kind of a goof boy. I remember we were doing radio press and he suddenly pretended to have a stroke. He’s a great actor.”

Mention that “Cold Mountain” is up for eight Golden Globes, a likely foretaste of Oscar bids, and Gleeson amiably says, “That’s nice, because it puts a spotlight and more people will see it. We hoped for that for ‘The General’ and it didn’t happen. It got trampled in the rush to see other films. Not that that makes it a worse or better film, but it’s nice attention.”

He will be doing his third Boorman film, “Truth,” and will be seen in 2004 with Brad Pitt in Wolfgang Petersen’s “Troy.”

The career is rolling, or as he puts it, “trundling — I need to keep it trundling on all wheels!”

31

Cinema: Review

MOVIE CLOCK

“Big Fish” Leaves Viewers Wanting More

By Rachel Deahl

S

et in a mythologized South, complete with enormous catfish, giant men and a set of conjoined female performers named Ping and Jing, "Big Fish" sounds like exactly the kind of project Tim Burton was born to direct. And, in some ways, it is. Unfortunately, Burton’s knack for creating vivid, bizarre worlds is hindered here by a story that has already done most of the legwork for him.

Based on the novel by Daniel Wallace, "Big Fish" is a hokey tale about the importance of familial bonds and the magical powers of storytelling. Billy Crudup stars as Will Bloom, an ornery journalist who’s grown cynical after spending his formative years listening to his father’s tall tales. Driven away by the old man’s inability to simply be honest and his dad’s constant need to upstage him, Will regards his father as a failure. But when his dad (played by Albert Finney) falls ill, Will is forced to head home to find out once and for all what the "real" story of his father’s life is.

Dipping back and forth between the present and the past, "Big Fish" recasts the adventures of one man’s life in the dippy, surreal realm of his imagination. As Will tries to unearth the facts he’s looking for, his father treats him again to all the stories he loves so much to tell. And the film, in turn, depicts the life the elder Bloom purports to have had, with Ewan McGregor standing in for the junior Edward Bloom.

In some ways, "Big Fish" doesn’t recall Burton’s other films as much as it does the Rob Reiner fairy tale "The Princess Bride."

Like Reiner’s inventive and irresistible take on the joys of chivalry and childhood imagination, "Big Fish" is grounded in the simple wonderment of make-believe. Although Burton does well depicting the silly yarns about little boys who see their death in the glass eye of a local witch and rainstorms so severe they send Buicks into trees, the repeated feats of Edward Bloom become repetitive after a while. Ultimately, the film is unable to show any restraint with its subtler tale about a son coming to terms with his father.

Repeatedly beating home the idea that Will need only embrace the storyteller within himself in order to truly see his dad for the wonderful man he is, "Big Fish" oversimplifies the role of fiction in our lives.

In the end, "Big Fish" leaves us with a series of wacky adventures about the invention that is Edward Bloom. Somehow though, the stories don’t amount to much and you can’t help but agree with the initial complaint of Crudup’s son, who’s looking for more. Of course, in a film that conveniently refuses to draw a line between the realm of imagination and the real world, the fallible quality that makes us all human need never be a part of the story.

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MASTERS 7 CINEMAS Movies Good 1/9 - 1/15 Big Fish (PG-13) Fri: 3:45, 7:00, 9:30; Sat-Sun: 12:15, 3:45, 7:00, 9:30; Mon-Thur: 3:45, 7:00 Cheaper by the Dozen (PG) Fri: 5:15, 7:30, 9:45; Sat-Sun: 1:15, 3:15, 5:15, 7:30, 9:45; Mon-Thur: 5:15, 7:30 Paycheck (PG-13) Fri: 4:20, 7:05, 9:40; SatSun: 1:20, 4:20, 7:05, 9:40; Tues-Thur: 4:20, 7:05 Peter Pan (PG) Fri: 4:45, 7:15, 9:35; Sat-Sun: 1:45, 4:45, 7:15, 9:35; Mon-Thur: 4:45, 7:15 Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (PG13) Fri: 4:00, 8:00; Sat-Sun: 12:00, 4:00, 8:00; Mon-Thur: 4:00, 8:00 Something’s Gotta Give (PG-13) Fri: 4:15, 6:55, 9:25; Sat-Sun: 12:30, 4:15, 6:55, 9:25; Mon-Thur: 4:15, 6:55 Love Don’t Cost a Thing (PG-13) Fri: 4:50, 7:10, 9:20; Sat-Sun: 12:20, 2:45, 4:50, 7:10, 9:20; Mon-Thur: 4:50, 7:10 REGAL 12 CINEMAS Movies Good 1/9 - 1/15 Underworld (R) 1:55, 4:25, 7:00, 9:30 Under the Tuscan Sun (PG-13) 2:15, 4:40, 7:25, 9:40 Scary Movie 3 (PG-13) 2:45, 4:55, 7:45, 9:55 Love Actually (R) 2:20, 5:10, 7:55 Looney Tunes (PG) 2:40, 5:05, 7:15, 9:25 School of Rock (PG-13) 2:10, 4:30, 7:20, 9:35 Radio (PG) 2:05, 4:30, 7:00, 9:30 Brother Bear (G) 2:35, 4:35, 7:10, 9:20 Out of Time (PG-13) 2:25, 4:45, 7:30, 9:50 Freak y Friday (PG) 2:30, 4:50, 7:40, 9:55 The Fighting Temptations (PG-13) 1:55, 4:30, 7:05, 9:45 Pirates of the Caribbean (PG-13) 2:00, 5:00, 7:50

Movie listings are subject to change without notice.

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EVANS 14 CINEMAS Movies Good 1/9 - 1/15 Big Fish (PG-13) Fri: 3:45, 7:05, 9:45; Sat-Sun: 1:00, 3:45, 7:05, 9:45; Mon-Thur: 3:55, 7:05, 9:45 Chasing Liberty (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 2:10, 5:00, 7:25, 9:55; Mon-Thur: 5:00, 7:25, 9:55 My Baby’s Daddy (PG-13) Fri: 3:35, 5:35, 7:35, 9:35; Sat-Sun: 1:35, 3:35, 5:35, 7:35, 9:35; Mon-Thur: 5:35, 7:35, 9:35 21 Grams (R) Fri: 4:10, 7:15, 9:50; Sat-Sun: 1:30, 4:10, 7:15, 9:50; Mon-Thur: 4:10, 7:15, 9:50 Cold Mountain (R) Fri-Sun: 1:50, 5:40, 9:00; Mon-Thur: 5:40, 9:00 Peter Pan (PG) Fri-Sun: 2:30, 4:50, 7:10, 9:45; Mon-Thur: 4:50, 7:10, 9:45 Paycheck (PG-13) Fri: 3:50, 7:20, 10:00; SatSun: 1:15, 3:50, 7:20, 10:00; Mon-Thur: 3:55,

7:20, 10:00 Mona Lisa Smile (PG-13) Fri: 4:00, 6:40, 9:20; Sat-Sun: 12:50, 4:00, 6:40, 9:20; Mon-Thur: 4:00, 6:40, 9:20 Cheaper by the Dozen (PG) Fri-Sun: 2:20, 4:40, 7:00, 9:25; Mon-Thur: 4:40, 7:00, 9:25 Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (PG13) Fri: 3:30, 4:30, 7:30, 8:30; Sat-Sun: 12:45, 3:30, 4:30, 7:30, 8:30; Mon-Thur: 4:30, 7:30, 8:30 Stuck on You (PG-13) 6:55, 9:30 Something’s Gotta Give (PG-13) Fri: 4:20, 6:50, 9:40; Sat-Sun: 1:20, 4:20, 6:50, 9:40; MonThur: 4:20, 6:50, 9:40 The Last Samurai (R) Fri-Sun: 2:00, 5:20, 8:45; Mon-Thur: 5:20, 8:45 The Cat in the Hat (PG) Fri: 3:00, 5:10; Sat-Sun: 1:10, 3:00, 5:10; Mon-Thur: 5:10

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REGAL AUGUSTA EXCHANGE 20 Movies Good 1/9 - 1/15 Big Fish (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:20, 1:30, 3:30, 4:35, 7:00, 7:30, 9:50, 10:20, 12:40; Sun-Thur: 12:20, 1:30, 3:30, 4:35, 7:00, 7:30, 9:50, 10:20 Calendar Girls (PG-13) 12:00, 2:30, 5:00, 7:40, 10:15 Chasing Liberty (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 2:00, 4:40, 7:20, 9:55, 12:35; Sun-Thur: 2:00, 4:40, 7:20, 9:55 My Baby’s Daddy (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:50, 1:45, 3:15, 4:20, 5:40, 7:35, 8:10, 10:05, 10:35, 12:15, 12:45; Sun-Thur: 12:50, 1:45, 3:15, 4:20, 5:40, 7:35, 8:10, 10:05, 10:35 Cold Mountain (R) 11:50, 3:00, 6:45, 10:10 Paycheck (PG-13) 1:50, 4:45, 7:50, 10:40 Peter Pan (PG) Fri-Sat: 1:00, 3:50, 6:50, 9:30, 12:05; Sun-Thur: 1:00, 3:50, 6:50, 9:30 Mona Lisa Smile (PG-13) 2:15, 4:55, 7:45, 10:30 Cheaper by the Dozen (PG) Fri-Sat: 11:55, 12:25, 2:20, 3:00, 4:50, 5:25, 7:15, 7:55, 9:45, 10:25, 12:10; Sun-Thur: 11:55, 12:25, 2:20, 3:00, 4:50, 5:25, 7:15, 7:55, 9:45, 10:25 Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (PG13) 12:00, 12:30, 4:00, 4:30, 8:00, 8:30 Something’s Gotta Give (PG-13) 12:40, 3:45, 7:05, 9:55 Love Don’t Cost a Thing (PG-13) 12:05, 2:30, 5:10, 7:55, 10:25 The Last Samurai (R) 12:05, 3:40, 6:55, 10:15 Honey (PG-13) 8:05, 10:30 Haunted Mansion (PG) 12:15, 2:55, 5:15 Bad Santa (R) Fri-Sat: 12:10, 2:35, 5:05, 7:45, 10:00, 12:30; Sun-Thur: 12:10, 2:35, 5:05, 7:45, 10:00 Master and Commander (PG-13) 1:15, 4:25, 7:25, 10:25

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32 M E T R O S P I R I T J A N 8

Music Catchy Melodies Make Diffuser Worth Watching

2 0 0 4

L

ook up Long Island-based band Diffuser on search engine google.com, and you’re more likely to be inundated with results referencing hair dryers, camera filters and yes, even aromatherapy oils than results featuring music.

But look closer – it’s there. Weed through all the stuff you’re not looking for and you’ll come across catchy pop/punk tunes from Diffuser’s latest album, “Making the Grade.”

Although the album cover – documenting what appears to be a high school tryst behind a row of lockers – and some of the band’s lyrics – singer Tomas Costanza pleading for his former social studies teacher to “get it on with me” – appear to have more in common with average teen-age male fantasy than with the realities of heartbreak, “Making the Grade” was borne from Costanza’s own suffering after breaking up with a longtime girlfriend.

So far, the tortured poet angle seems to be working for Diffuser: “I Wonder” is featured on the “Freaky Friday” soundtrack, and a Diffuser original is even part of an XBox Game, “Outlaw Volleyball.”

“Making the Grade” is also the result of a lineup change. In the time between Diffuser’s 2001 debut, “Injury Loves Melody,” and last year’s release, Costanza and guitar player Anthony Cangelosi brought bass player Peter Schojan and drummer Dan Leo into the mix.

“I would say, besides the fact that we got two new members, musically, I guess we’re evolving a little bit,” Costanza said in a recent telephone interview. “Our songwriting is getting a little bit better. Not Silverstein

much has really changed. (The new members) definitely brought more spark to the band.”

In addition, power producer Mark Trombino, who has worked with bands like Jimmy Eat World, Finch and Midtown, came in on the project. Although Diffuser and Trombino battled it out at first, Costanza later thanked Trombino for his approach.

“It’s really good to work with Mark Trombino,” said Costanza. “Every producer is different, and it all depends on how much work the band needs, but producers, basically, I guess their main job is to get the best out of an artist, and they usually know when they’re getting it.”

Diffuser is now embarking on an East Coast tour with bands Silverstein and Spitalfield. “We started the tour on January 2, so we’ve played a few shows with them, and they’re great guys,” said Costanza.

For now, Diffuser is concentrating on connecting with their fans through touring.

“We get in a van and we drive to many cities, and it’s the best part of being in a band, actually performing and seeing our friends in different cities and seeing the fans up close. Part of being in a band is being able to connect to those fans,” Costanza said.

“We’re just concentrating on touring, actually. It takes so much out of us mentally and physically that we need to concentrate on it full-time. Ultimately, I’m just really glad to be able to do this for a living. It’s really exciting. It’s a dream come true.”

You can catch all three acts right here at the Hangnail Gallery on Jan. 16. For more information, call the Hangnail at 722-9899.

Diffuser

Spitalfield

By Lisa Jordan

33

In The Spirit

M E T R O S P I R I T J A N 8 2 0 0 4

Keith Gregory performs at Joe’s Underground.

Kevin Trull and Mady Young at the Playground.

Jo Dillard, Robert Jennings, Tripp Courtney and Brooke Evans at the Playground.

Jill Fracis, Tiffay Dash and Tavaris Jones at Time Piecez.

Alisa Toy, Kelly Turner, Katy Lane and Deborah Ann Brewer at Modjeska.

Timmy Richards, Deborah Richards, Marti Moody, Colon Moody, Connie Richards, Phillip Richards and Danny Haywood at Red Carpet Events.

Ed Stanford, Karen Stanford, Wendy Arthur and Hap Arthur at The Partridge Inn.

Halley Flynn, Mario Enriquez, Katie Degreeff, Keith Gibson, Stacie Stafford and Brian Pritchard at Modjeska.

Photos by Michael E. Johnson

34

Music: Venue

M E T R O

J A N 8 2 0 0 4

Gentleman's Club

Room 9 Brings Lounge With a Touch of Tiki

By Lisa Jordan

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t might be a work-in-progress right now, but by the end of February, Ed Lansford is hoping that Room 9 will be the talk of the town.

Lansford and business partners David Fort and Rett McBride are in the process of converting the narrow storefront at 913 Broad Street into a cool lounge.

“Basically, what we’re looking for is a return to lounge, with an infusion of tiki,” Lansford says. “More of that ultralounge kind of place you could go to in a suit or jeans and feel comfortable.”

It’s easy to see why Lansford and his partners see so much potential in the physical space that Room 9 occupies. It’s one of the more unusual storefronts downtown. The entrance is essentially a long, narrow hallway, which, after a short trek, leads to an opened-up bar space that will feature couches, tables and big booths. The hallway will serve as a gallery for the works of local artists and also as a spot patrons can retreat to in order to make cell phone calls or just take a break from the bar atmosphere.

“What we were hoping to do with this is feature artists and use this space to promote some of the artists downtown,” Lansford says. “It’s going to be one of the most unique spaces in Augusta, that’s for sure.”

The booths, now in the process of being built, will be U-shaped, easily seating seven or eight. It’s one of the touches

that make Room 9 conducive to conversation among friends.

“It’s not going to be a club where music is blasting,” Lansford says. “It’s a place to get a really good drink and be able to talk to and hear each other.”

The drink menu will also set Room 9 apart from other downtown watering holes. In addition to offering any type of martini you can think of, Room 9’s menu will focus on the tiki aspect of the bar: Think fresh fruit and concoctions you’ve never tried before.

“Tiki is going to be just more or less the menu,” says Lansford. “We’ll have fresh fruit drinks and a prep table just for fruit. The big thing out in the Midwest right now is tiki, and we’re going to bring that to Augusta. We’ll offer a lot of drinks you can’t get other places.”

Break out the happy hour specials and Room 9 is sure to become a hit with the young professional and college crowds.

“Young professionals are going to love this place,” says Lansford.

As far as décor, that part isn’t finished yet. There is currently some drywall to be hung, as well as painting and electrical work to be done. When it’s all set to go, Lansford says, expect low lighting, curtains to soften the look of the exposed brick walls and a small stage for lounge and jazz acts.

Room 9 is set to open in mid- to late February.

MUSIC MINIS

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BY TURNER

In the “Limelight” Dept.

RUSH guitarist ALEX LIFESON’s arrest New Year’s Eve was a surprise to many who know the soft-spoken Canadian. Lifeson was charged for aggravated assault after his son Justin got into an altercation with police at the Ritz-Carlton in Naples, Florida. Justin Lifeson, 33, reportedly refused to leave the Ritz stage during New Year’s Eve festivities and the elder Lifeson joined in the fracas.

Where’s the crew of “Cops” when you really need them?

That cool cover of “The First Cut is the Deepest” you’ve been hearing from SHERYL CROW is actually an early CAT STEVENS tune that pre-dates his “Wild World” and “Peace Train” days. Crow’s version can be found on her new “Greatest Hits” album that’s currently racing up the charts. Ms.Crow, easily one of the busiest and most visible rockers of last year, also has a DVD, “C’mon America,” that contains her entire 21-song set from last summer.

Tickle My Ivories Dept.

Singer-pianist DIANA KRALL was named Top Jazz Artist by Billboard magazine in 2003, which was no surprise to anyone. Her terrific “Live in Paris” outing was near the top of the jazz charts most of the year, but her next project should really break new ground. “The Girl in the Other Room,” set for release in April, will contain six reworkings of standards in Krall’s laidback, sultry, old-school style. The other half of the album will feature new songs composed with new hubby ELVIS COSTELLO, so don’t be too surprised to see the newlyweds tour together before the year ends.

BECK has recently remixed his excellent “Sea Change” disc from 2002 and has added new videos to the package as well. The sometimes morose and definitely low-key album still does not compare to “Odelay” or even “Mutations,” but with the added video footage the songs take on new meaning.

Turner’s Quick Notes OUTKAST and ALICIA KEYS remain at the top two spots on the album charts this week ... DEL MCCOURY, VASSAR CLEMENTS and BELA FLECK headline the 2004 Suwannee Springfest March 25-28 in Live Oak, Florida ... THE BEATLES historic 1964-1965 Ed Sullivan shows have been re-released on DVD in pristine black and white and are simply amazing ... E-Streeter CLARENCE CLEMONS has “Live at Asbury Park, Vol. 2” new this week.

Bruce guests.

Ray Davies Catches Bullet It happened the evening of Jan. 4 in the French Quarter in New Orleans, La., when someone snatched the purse of the woman he was walking with.

He gave chase and was subsequently nailed in the leg. He’s OK, though, having been treated and released.

Now, this is a guy who ought to be knighted.

Cocaine Helps Speed Righteous Brother to Heaven Righteous Brother Bobby Hatfield died in November, hours before a

scheduled concert. The cause of death was listed as heart failure due to advanced coronary disease. Data from toxicology reports, however, resulted in the official cause of death to be severe cocaine intoxication.

Britney’s Boo-Boo On Jan. 3, she wed childhood friend Jason Alexander in Las Vegas wearing a baseball cap and low-cut jeans. On Jan. 4, she divorced him. The official reason is that they discovered they didn’t know each other at all. Well, lucky for them. It takes many couples several years to make that startling discovery.

COMPILED BY RHONDA JONES Information compiled from online and other music news sources.

metro

Cocktail Hour Nightly

a coffeehouse

Espressos & Cocktails

5-8 pm thurs 8th

$2.50 Import Draught

Turner’s Rock ‘N’ Roll Jeopardy A. This was the mid ‘60s nickname for radio station WBBQ. Q. What is “Tiger Radio?” (Do you still have your antenna topper?)

H

appy New Year!

If 2003 is any indication, music fans can look for rap music to continue to outsell every other type of music on the planet. Sales of rock music (and country, too) have been steadily declining over the past few years and, with the exception of a few bands such as GOOD CHARLOTTE and STEADMAN, the genre is treading the waters of musical mediocrity. Even the talented, low-carb faves TRAIN are having trouble maintaining their initial success.

THIRD EYE BLIND, a strong contender several years ago in the rock longetivity sweepstakes, is rapidly becoming the HOOTIE AND THE BLOWFISH of ‘04. Will MATCHBOX TWENTY fall into the same abyss of being last year’s flavor? Betcha ROB THOMAS exits that sinking ship faster than you can say “SANTANA.”

Guinness, Bass, and Sierra Nevada (Although technically not an import, you want a deal or you want to quibble?)

sat 10

$5 BACARDI RUMTINI NIGHT

Bluegrass in Broad Daylight w/ Eryn Eubanks & The Fold

tues 13 Irish Pub Night! L i v e Celtic Music w/ SIBIN $2.50 GUINNESS & HARP Irish Drink Specials All Night Music Stars @ 8pm*

wed 14

All Well $3

SHERYL CROW

BY

ED TURNER

1054 broad • downtown (on corner of 11th & Broad) 706-722-6468

35 M E T R O S P I R I T J A N 8 2 0 0 4

36 M E T R O S P I R I T

Night Life

J A N 8 2 0 0 4

Shameless Dave and the Miracle Whips play at the Blind Pig Jan. 9.

Thursday, 8th Adams Lounge - Keith “Fossill” Gregory Andy’s - Cantonwine, Perper, Olick The Bee’s Knees - Meditate on This!

Blind Pig - Pat Blanchard with The Broad Street Jam Cafe Du Teau - James McIntyre Club Argos - Karaoke Dance Par ty with DJ Daddy Bear Coliseum - Karaoke with Travis, Hi-Energy Dance Continuum - Playa*Listic Thursday Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band D. Timm’s - The Section Finish Line Cafe - DJ Fox’s Lair - Karaoke Greene Streets - Karaoke Hangnail Gallery - Walsham, Pret ty Faces, Black Castle, Snack truck The Helm - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Keith “Fossill” Gregory Last Call - Jell-O Wrestling, DJ Richie Rich Locals - Preston and Weston Michael’s - Mike Swif t Modjeska - The Comedy Zone with Joe West and Cee Jay, DJ Richie Rich Playground - Open Mic Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Rusty Shannon’s - Karaoke with Peggy Villa Europa - David Firmin Wheeler Tavern - DJ Dog

Friday, 9th Adams Lounge - Tony Williams and the Blues Express Andy’s - Randy Brooks, Doris Allen, R&R Back Roads - DJ The Bee’s Knees - Projections and Selections Blind Pig - Shameless Dave and the Miracle Whips

Borders - Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Cafe Du Teau - James McIntyre Charlie O’s - Live Band Club Argos - Argos Angels Claire Storm, April Alexander, Ar tisha Duvall Coconuts - Bikini Contest Coliseum - Ravionne Starr Continuum - Jemani Cotton Patch - A Step Up Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads - Pit Boss D. Timm’s - The Section Eagle’s Nest - Karaoke with DJ MJ El Rodeo - DJ Sontiago Finish Line Cafe - DJ Fox’s Lair - Pete Byrowicki Greene Streets - Karaoke Hangnail Gallery - Gearbox, Eve Gray Honk y Tonk - The Buster Hymen Band Jeremy’s Nightclub - Spoken Word, Open Mic, Dance Par ty with DJ Dick Joe’s Underground - Impulse Ride Last Call - DJ Richie Rich Marlboro Station - Miss Peg, Dance Par ty with DJ Mark Michael’s - Mike Swif t Modjeska - DJ Kenny Ray Ms. Carolyn’s - The Horizon Partridge Inn - Kari Gaf fney, Jef f Williams Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Rusty Rumors - Magic Hat, DJ Doug Romanella, Thong and Boxer Contest The Shack - DJ Chip Shannon’s - Bar t Bell, Allen Black Soul Bar - Last Night a DJ Saved My Life Stillwater Tap Room - The Avet t Brothers Surrey Tavern - Playback Wheeler Tavern - DJ Dog

The Bee’s Knees - Sweet Nuthin’ Blind Pig - The Patrick Vining Band Cafe Du Teau - James McIntyre Charlie O’s - Live Band Club Argos - Argos Angels Sasha, Dianne Chanel, Stephanie Ross Coconuts - DJ Tim Coliseum - Petite Dee JonVille Cotton Patch - Jayson and Michael Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads - Pit Boss D. Timm’s - The Section Finish Line Cafe - DJ, Karaoke Fox’s Lair - Roger Enevoldsen Greene Streets - Karaoke Hangnail Gallery - Made in China, Japanese Grindcore, Siclid, Testing Ground Honk y Tonk - The Buster Hymen Band Jeremy’s Nightclub - Open Mic Joe’s Underground - Medicine Hat Last Call - DJ Richie Rich Locals - Blind Draw Marlboro Station - Lauren Alexander, Dance Par ty with DJ Mark Metro Coffeehouse - Live Af ternoon Bluegrass with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Michael’s - Mike Swif t Modjeska - DJ Ted For tenberry Partridge Inn - Sandy B. and the All-Stars Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Rusty Rumors - Magic Hat, DJ Doug Romanella, Sexy Legs Contest The Shack - DJ Buckwheat Shannon’s - Karaoke with Peggy Soul Bar - Shaun Piazza and His Amigos Stillwater Tap Room - Brown Mountain Lights Surrey Tavern - Playback Wheeler Tavern - DJ Dog

Saturday, 10th

Sunday, 11th

Andy’s - Open Mic Night Blues Jam Back Roads - DJ

Adams Lounge - DJ Cafe Du Teau - The Last Bohemian Quar tet

Pizza Bakers 10 Specialty Pies 15 Monumental Hoagies 7 Scrumptious Salads 4 Spring Water Calzones

PLUS Parmesan Pretzels Siclid will be at the Hangnail Gallery Jan. 10.

Marlboro Station - Claire Storm, Dance Par ty with DJ Jon Jon Orange Moon - Smooth Jazz Sunday with Emery Bennet t Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Rusty The Shack - Karaoke with DJ Joe Steel, Sasha Shannon’s - Roulet te Somewhere in Augusta - Jayson and Michael T.G.I. Friday’s - John Kolbeck Wheeler Tavern - Karaoke with DJ Dog

Monday, 12th

Coliseum - Q.A.F. Continuum - Monday Madness Fox’s Lair - Open Mic Greene Streets - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Keith “Fossill” Gregory Michael’s - Mike Swif t

Tuesday, 13th

The Bee’s Knees - 12Tone Lounge Blind Pig - Sabo and the Scorchers Coliseum - Tournament Tuesday D. Timm’s - The Section Fox’s Lair - Open Mic French Market Grille West - Wayne Capps Greene Streets - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Ruskin Metro Coffeehouse - Irish Night with Sibin Michael’s - Mike Swif t Surrey Tavern - Tuesday Night Jam Session with Pat Blanchard and Friends

Full Bar

Wednesday, 14th The Bee’s Knees - Heliocentric Cinema Blind Pig - The Backus Brothers featuring Candice Hurst Coconuts - Karaoke Continuum - Open Mic Jam Sessions Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads - Josh Pierce D. Timm’s - The Section Fox’s Lair - Open Mic Greene Streets - Karaoke The Helm - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Ruskin Last Call - Karaoke Michael’s - Mike Swif t Playground - Karaoke The Pourhouse - Mic Fright Therapy Night with Edmond “The Lurch” Kida Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Rusty Shannon’s - Bar t Bell, Allen Black Somewhere in Augusta - Brandon Bower Soul Bar - Live Jazz Surrey Tavern - Pat Blanchard

Open 7 Days a Week Lunch & Dinner LIVE MUSIC EVERY SUNDAY NIGHT OPEN MIC MONDAY NIGHTS

Corner of 12th & Broad :::: Downtown Augusta :::: 828-5578

Upcoming Diffuser, Silverstein, Spitalfield - Hangnail Gallery - Jan. 16 Foam Party - Last Call - Jan. 17 Malcolm Holcombe - Stillwater Tap Room Jan. 22 The Kevn Kinney Band - Soul Bar - Jan. 24 PJs and DJs Pajama Party - Last Call - Jan. 24

continued on page 38

Surrey Tavern This Weekend PLAYBACK THE BAND FEATURING TUTU D’VYNE

VOTED AUGUSTA’S BEST PARTY BAND

Tues - 13

TUESDAY NIGHT JAM SESSION FEATURING PAT BLANCHARD & FRIENDS

Wednesday - 14 PAT BLANCHARD

Catch Shaun Piazza and His Amigos Jan. 10 at the Soul Bar.

471 Highland Ave. | 736-1221

| Open Mon-Sat at 4 pm until

37 M E T R O S P I R I T J A N 8 2 0 0 4

38

continued from page 37

M E T R O

Rev. Jeff Mosier - Stillwater Tap Room - Jan. 30 Roots-A-Fire Reggae Band - Soul Bar - Jan. 31 Lokal Loudness Choice Awards - Crossroads Jan. 31 Mercy Me, Amy Grant, Bebo Norman - Bell Auditorium - Feb. 7 Hope for Agoldensummer - Soul Bar - Feb. 7 Honestly - Crossroads - Feb. 18 Ghoultown - Hangnail Gallery - Feb. 19 Willie Nelson - Augusta-Richmond County Civic Center - Feb. 28 The Woggles - Soul Bar - Feb. 28

S P I R I T J A N 8

Elsewhere

2 0 0 4

Transcendental Funk - Apache Cafe, Atlanta Jan. 9 Mike Epps - Atlanta Civic Center, Atlanta - Jan. 10 George Strait - The Arena at Gwinet t Center, Duluth, Ga. - Jan. 15 My Morning Jacket - Cot ton Club, Atlanta Jan. 17 Sarah Brightman - The Arena at Gwinnet t Center, Duluth, Ga. - Jan. 19 Helloween - Masquerade, Atlanta - Jan. 20 Penny wise - Masquerade, Atlanta - Jan. 21 Gomez - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta - Jan. 24 Bette Midler - Philips Arena, Atlanta - Jan. 25 Henry Rollins Spoken Word - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta - Jan. 25 Ronnie Milsap - Macon City Auditorium, Macon, Ga. - Jan. 30 Pink Floyd Laser Spectacular - Fox Theatre, Atlanta - Jan. 30 Taj Mahal - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta - Jan. 30 Left Front Tire - Cot ton Club, Atlanta - Jan. 30 moe. - Fox Theatre, Atlanta - Jan. 31

Life is hectic. Weekends shouldn't have to be. Join Scott Simon for Weekend Edition every Saturday at 8:00 AM on WACG, 90.7 FM. Reclaim your Saturday and hear weekend news, views, and commentary. From gardening tips and film reviews to in-depth news analysis, Peabody Award-winning host Scott Simon eases you into the weekend with a fresh

Call us at (800) 654-3038 or visit us at www.gpb.org for more information about our programming.

NEW HAPPY HOUR This Week’s Weekly Special:

$3.75

11PM-2AM

$1.50 DOMESTIC PINTS $2 SELECTED APPETIZERS

$1.50 Budlight Bottles

Fried Mozzarella, Potato Skins, Potstickers, Onion Rings, Quesadillas

$2.50 Cuervo

Don’t Forget About Food & Beverage Night Every Sunday!

2800 Washington Rd.

736-8888

$2.50 Jager $2.50 Jagerbombs $1 Off Entire Bar Weekly Specials

“The Original”

11PM-2AM Home of Food & Beverage Night!

$2 Appetizers

New Happy Hour Times!

$1.50 Drafts

FEATURING LIVE MUSIC

BY JOHN KOLBECK

MONDAY-FRIDAY 9PM-11PM $1 OFF ENTIRE BAR

“The Original Home of F&B Night!”

$1.50 Drafts

Crown Royal

Food & Beverage Sunday!

NEW HAPPY HOUR

Food & Beverage Sunday!

$1.50 Drafts

New Happy Hour Times!

$2 Appetizers

$2 Appetizers

Food & Beverage Sunday!

$1.50 Drafts

$2 Appetizers

New Happy Hour Times!

Many tickets are available through TicketMaster outlets, by calling 828-7700, or online at w w w.ticketmaster.com. Tickets may also be available through Tix Online by calling 278-4TIX, online at w w w.tixonline.com or at their outlet location in Southgate Plaza. Night Life listings are subject to change without notice. Deadline for inclusion in Night Life calendar is Tuesday at 4 p.m. Contact Rhonda Jones or Lisa Jordan by calling 738-1142, fa xing 736-0443 or e-mailing to rhonda.jones@metrospirit.com or lisa.jordan@metrospirit.com.

New Happy Hour Times!

Photo of Scott Simon by Lisa Berg

perspective.

Puddle of Mudd - Roxy Theatre, Atlanta - Feb. 2 Vonda Shepard - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta Feb. 6 Kid Rock - The Arena at Gwinnet t Center, Duluth, Ga. - Feb. 7 Mushroomhead - Masquerade, Atlanta - Feb. 9 Rod Stewart - Philips Arena, Atlanta - Feb. 10 Dillinger Escape Plan - Masquerade, Atlanta Feb. 11 Yonder Mountain String Band - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta - Feb. 12 Robert Earl Keen - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta Feb. 14 MXPX, Simple Plan, Billy Talent - Tabernacle, Atlanta - Feb. 14 O.A.R. - Tabernacle, Atlanta - Feb. 20 Hank Williams III - Masquerade, Atlanta - Feb. 26 Lou Rawls - Anderson Theatre, Mariet ta, Ga. Feb. 27 A.F.I. - Tabernacle, Atlanta - Feb. 28 Willie Nelson - Macon City Auditorium, Macon, Ga. - Feb. 29

Food & Beverage Sunday!

News of the

I

Weird

n December, the 200 employees at SAS Shoemakers in Pittsfield, Mass., and the 270 workers at Stine Seed Co. in Adel, Iowa, were each given Christmas bonuses of $1,000 for every year of service to the company. In other bonus news, Tower Automotive of Traverse City, Mich., gave employees $15 Thanksgiving grocery gift cards, but then withheld $5.51 of that as federal and state income tax, and Air Canada gave coupons to 100 of its best-performing customer-service personnel, redeemable at restaurants owned by its in-flight food service contractor, worth C $5, U.S. $3.75.

More Things to Worry About In December, Putnam County, N.Y., passed a law to further the aims of the federal Americans With Disabilities Act by permitting shoppers in wheelchairs to bring their service monkeys into stores to fetch items from shelves. (Legislator Sam Oliverio said he didn’t know of any service monkeys in use but wanted to be ready.) And in July, a ranch owner in San Diego County, Calif., was found not guilty of cruelty for disposing of 30,000 live, “nonproductive” hens by dumping them into a wood chipper, pointing out in defense that it was basically a “standard industry practice” endorsed by a member of the animal welfare committee of the American Veterinary Medical Association.

Bright Ideas • Toronto police arrested Walter Nowakowski, 35, in November on several pornography counts, as well as theft of services after an officer spotted him driving the wrong way on a one-way street at 5 a.m.

According to police, Nowakowski was pantsless, with a laptop computer running in the front seat, as he drove slowly down streets in search of wireless Internet signals that he could use to download pornography.

• In October, in the ongoing trial of 22 members of the South African white separatist movement Boeremag, a police informant testified that the group’s plans included enlisting 8,000 rebels to stage a coup, seize military bases, assassinate ex-president Nelson Mandela and, somehow, force all the country’s blacks to march out the N1 freeway across the border to Zimbabwe. (There are 35 million blacks in South Africa.)

Oops!

• In October at the UPMC Presbyterian hospital in Oakland, Pa., a 35-year-old man having a kidney transplanted from his mother awoke prematurely from his anesthesia and bolted upright, which caused the just-sewn-in kidney to thrust up with such force that it ripped an artery and protruded from his abdomen. The kidney could no longer be used and was removed the next day.

• Motorcyclist Steve Dass withdrew 72 $100 bills in October to take to his mother to pay for her new furniture, but he apparently forgot

to zip up his jacket pocket, and all the money blew out along Highway 4 in Pittsburg, Calif.

(A few finders returned the money.) But in Kalispell, Mont., in November, two men turned in a sack containing $14,600 they found lying in a bank parking lot; it was a pick-up from Wal-Mart that had been inexplicably dropped by Security Armored Express (which earlier this year was named as the best armored carrier in the country by Wal-Mart executives).

• Pro football punter Chris Hanson played only one-third of the season this year because of a self-inflicted leg injury. His Jacksonville Jaguars coach had put a log and an ax in the locker room as a motivational symbol that the team needed to work hard in order to succeed.

Hanson took a swing at the log, missed, and banged his leg so badly that he needed emergency surgery.

Recent Names in the News • Delegates of French “villages of lyric or burlesque names” formed an association in October as sort of a promotional and support group made necessary because so many visitors laugh at the towns’ names. Among them are villages whose names, translated into English, are beautiful mad, cuckold hill, filthy pig, my bottom, eat onions, very stupid and double-ass, as well as several names that are merely inexplicable.

• Names to Be Read by Immature Readers Only: Re-elected in December as chief minister of Delhi, India: Honorable Sheila Dikshit. Arrested in May for prostitution in Grove City, Ohio: Ms. You Suk Kim. Revealed in September to be threatening to use his $5,000 Oakland, Calif., government arts support money to kill African-Americans: artist Richard Aswad. Killed in August in a village near Sihanoukville, Cambodia, as a result of having his testicles defensively squeezed by his battered wife: Mr. Ouch Yan. Update Texas’ anti-marital-aid law, previously mentioned in News of the Weird, remains in force. In November, the county attorney in Burleson, Texas, filed a misdemeanor charge against Joanne Webb for selling two vibrators, which are illegal if they are intended for “stimulation.” Although many adult stores in Texas keep the police away by posting signs calling the inventory merely “novelties,” an officer in Burleson said Webb’s are certainly “obscene” because he can tell that just by looking. Mere possession of vibrators is not illegal unless a person has six or more. Webb sells the vibrators by staging Tupperware-type sales parties (“Passion Parties”) in private homes.

Alternate Universe In December, Vice President Cheney led a “hunting” party to the Rolling Rock Club in Ligonier, Pa., to shoot pheasants, which had been specially bred to be killed by the club’s members and guests. Cheney reportedly bagged 70 ringneck pheasants plus some captive mallard ducks, and his party killed 417 of the approximately 500 pheasants released. A Humane Society executive deplored the shoot, suggesting that clay-target shooting would be just as challenging: “This wasn’t a hunting ground. It was an open-air abattoir.”

— Chuck Shepherd © United Press Syndicate

39 M E T R O S P I R I T J A N 8

I

’m dating a guy who’s sweet and attentive when we’re together, but frequently stands me up. Once, when he didn’t show for our date, I called him on his cell. He said an emergency had come up, and he’d be over later. He never arrived. The next day, he said his sister was sick, and he was running an errand for her, which took longer than expected. (He couldn’t take two minutes to call me and cancel?) Another time, he specifically promised we’d spend the day together, but never showed, and wouldn’t answer his cell. Whenever I protest, he somehow convinces me I’m taking it all wrong. Granted, he’s been having tough times: he’s moving while starting a new job. I told him, if he needs space to work everything out, I’ll understand and we can pick up when he’s settled. Despite this, he keeps making promises and leaving me hanging. Should I back off until he’s more settled, and hope he’s more considerate then? Should I stick with it and try to learn to handle things better? I don’t think I can live with constantly being stood up, but he seems so great otherwise.

— Waiting And Worrying

— which brings us to Question Two: Does he even have a sister? And have you actually seen this sister, or have you just heard about her — in the form of an excuse? Take a peek at the classic cheater personality, identified in a 1997 study by psych professors Todd Shackelford and David Buss, as a combination platter of self-importance, impulsivity, unreliability, lack of empathy and general scheming user-hood. Sound like anybody you know?

Being willing to do anything to keep a man practically guarantees you won’t have a man worth keeping. Essentially, you get what you act like you deserve. Dump this toad immediately, and go on dating hiatus until you’re ready to use your backbone for more than draping clothes. In our e-mail exchange, you said you’d sooner run naked through the mall than stand anybody up.

Why would you accept any less in return?

Remember, that’s the only question to ask yourself, should you cross paths with a cad — not “Who will silkscreen that dancing feet diagram on the back of all my clothes, so he knows where to step next time around?”

He seems so great “otherwise”? That’s like saying Hitler was a really great guy except for that little matter with the Jews, gypsies, Catholics and gays.

Are you this man’s date or his public defender? By the time you finished describing what an unrepentant cad he is, you pretty much exonerated him — and concluded everything’s all your fault. Let’s see ... he wouldn’t have hurt your feelings if he hadn’t stood you up. He wouldn’t have stood you up if he hadn’t asked you out. And he couldn’t have asked you out if you didn’t exist! Aha! But you do exist. Which means you — not him — are the one to blame.

Uh-oh. Better start brainstorming now so you’ll be ready to make it up to him the next time he doesn’t show up.

What alternate universe are you living in? If your standards were any lower, you’d have to access them with an oil-drilling rig. The first time a man stands you up should be his last, with few exceptions. Acceptable exceptions include coma or death. Excuses involving others’ medical emergencies should be evaluated on a case-by-case basis.

The guy claims he was running an errand for his ailing sister. Question One: Where was he running this errand? Underwater? In the Andes?

Surely there was a good reason he didn’t call you

Many thanks for slapping me around. Your candid response to my e-mail about being repeatedly stood up made me come to my senses and dump the offending guy. Now, I realize I probably don’t have fair and realistic expectations about how I should be treated.

How do I know where to draw the line?

— Fairly Confused

____________________________________

You tried changing everything to please a man — probably down to ditching your day-of-theweek underwear for an abuse-of-the-day set — Walk All Over Me Wednesday, Treat Me Like Dirt Thursday and the ever-popular Infidelity Friday.

Your efforts landed you a man you had a lot in common with — how little you both thought of you. It’s time you stopped peering over your shoulder to see whether a man looks like he’ll be leaving, and altering your behavior accordingly.

Figure out what you value, then stand up for it — no matter what. Try approaching dating not as a popularity contest, but as an unpopularity contest — a test to see if you’ve got the self-respect to be spurned. Winning does mean chasing away a bunch of guys — those seeking girls who have yet to get the difference between being a good sport and filling in for the kickball.

— © 2003, Amy Alkon

Got A Problem?

Write Amy Alkon 171 Pier Ave., Box 280 • Santa Monica, CA 90405 • e-mail AdviceAmy@aol.com

2 0 0 4

M E T R O S P I R I T J A N 8 2 0 0 4

has been lagging far behind — until now, that is.

In honor of the miraculous feats of beauty, truth and love that “Free Will Astrology”-reading Virgos have been pulling off lately, I hereby bestow sainthood on every one of you. You may hereafter put a “St.” in front of your name.

Brezsny's Free Will Astrology ARIES (March 21-April 19)

The astrological omens say it’s a favorable time for you to seek greater exposure and get yourself noticed. But there are relatively bad ways and good ways to proceed. Do not, for example, distribute nude photos of yourself over the Internet, proclaim your mad love for an unavailable genius in a fullpage newspaper ad, or bust up a meeting with a screaming tirade about how brilliant your ideas are and how stupid everyone else’s are. Instead, try this: Spruce up your physical appearance, stoke your charisma, improve your packaging, and hire a marketing consultant.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

Sixty-six-year-old Taurus actor Jack Nicholson is a paragon of receptivity. “I’m dying to have my mind changed,” he told “Esquire” magazine.

“I’m probably the only liberal who read “Treason,” by Ann Coulter. I like listening to everybody. This is the elixir of life.” Nicholson’s refreshing declaration should be your words to live by in the next couple of weeks, Taurus: It’s your astrological season of expansion and experimentation. Don’t just grudgingly agree to open your eyes and have your theories challenged.

Learn to love the uncanny stretching sensation.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

I believe you should draw your inspiration this week from the British graffiti artist Bansky. He bought an unremarkable landscape painting at a flea market and glued a police “Do Not Cross” tape onto it. Then, disguised as a shuffling old man, he smuggled it into London’s prestigious Tate Museum and managed to hang it on a wall, where, for a while, it was regarded as a legitimate work of art by visitors and staff alike. Is there some place in your life that needs a comparable touch of prankish levity, Gemini?

Any overly dignified or formal environment that could use the healing touch of a gentle lampoon?

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

The oldest woman to have a number one pop

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

song was Deborah Harry, born under the sign of Cancer. She conquered the UK charts with “Maria” when she was 53 years old. The world’s oldest astronaut was another Crab, John Glenn, who flew on the space shuttle when he was 77.

Now you, too, have a chance to make history through success in an activity that most people might regard as impossible or inappropriate for someone your age. Don’t let anyone shame you into shrinking from the challenge, whether you’re 25 and thinking of entering a bubble-gum blowing contest or 65 and considering the possibility of windsurfing down the Amazon River.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

I really like a lot about “Suga Suga,” a song by hip-hop artist Baby Bash. The rhythm is crafty, the lead guitar line tasty, and the chorus melody infectious. I love Baby Bash’s sinuous rap cadences and Franky J’s gorgeous singing. The lyrics of “Suga Suga,” on the other hand, are vapid and vulgar. And the video of the song is morally idiotic, depicting men leering at a succession of surgically sculpted women who dress and preen like android porn stars. Is there anything in your life that you both love and hate, as I do “Suga Suga,” Leo? I’m betting the answer’s an intense “Yes!” What should you do about it? Try to ignore the part you’re allergic to, or else abandon the entire enterprise altogether? Don’t make a decision until at least February 1.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Pope Jean Paul II has canonized 477 new saints, exceeding the total of the last 86 popes combined. His secret? Previously, candidates had to have performed three miracles, whereas now it’s two at most. Other saint-makers have been inspired by the Pope’s example. The Church of the Subgenius is creating an average of 2,100 new saints per year (non-Catholic variety), while the Discordians are close behind with 1,875. I’m embarrassed to say that my own faith, the Temple of Sacred Uproar and Rowdy Blessings,

Accountants are experts about money that doesn’t belong to them. A scholar may read the texts of mystical spiritual traditions but not be able to enter into the sublime states of consciousness described therein. Please refrain from getting into a relationship like this with the resources you need, Libra. Don’t just study them; own them.

Seek up-close experiential immersion, not conceptual understanding from a distance.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Creativity comes in a wide variety of forms, from the unruly originality of an avant-garde music composer to the brilliant tactics of a fouryear-old manipulating his parents into buying him more toys. The creativity you will specialize in during the coming weeks, Scorpio, is a cross between that of an engineer building a bridge over a steep gorge and a gadfly who prods two ancient enemies into sitting down to talk. It will fit the description articulated by writer William Plomer: “Creativity is the power to connect the seemingly unconnected.”

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Sagittarian Pudge Rodriguez is one of the best catchers in professional baseball. Last October, he played a major role in helping the Florida Marlins win the World Series. His contract expired at the end of the season, however, and he was insulted when the Marlins proposed a future salary of only $8 million per year, a 20 percent reduction from the $10 million he earned in 2003. He rejected the Marlins’ offer, and made his services available to other teams.

Though I admire his fierce pride, I urge the rest of you Sagittarians to be less demanding. If you’re offered 8 million of anything — hugs, gold stars, M&Ms, dollars — instead of the 10 million you wanted, definitely take the 8 million.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Following Castro’s revolution in 1959, 11-yearold Carlos Eire was exiled forever from his beloved homeland of Cuba. Raised in America, he became a Yale professor, but never lost his yearning for paradise lost. His recent memoir,

Waiting for Snow in Havana, recounts his cherished memories. “In the past 38 years,” he wrote, “I’ve seen 8,917 clouds in the shape of the island of Cuba.” What’s your equivalent, Capricorn? A missing treasure you’re reminded of whenever you gaze upon the ripples in a lake?

A fugitive dream that floats across your mind’s eye as you’re falling asleep? I predict you will be united with it in 2004. A crucial pointer will arrive soon. Watch the clouds.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

In a recent speech, “Boondocks” comic strip creator Aaron McGruder said that if liberals want to regain power in America, they’ll have to learn to be meaner. Leftist singer-songwriter Ani DiFranco echoed the theme in an interview in “Indie Culture” magazine. “It’s our job to help and inspire each other,” she mused, “but I don’t think that all my songs have to be about nature and children and love and hugging. There are ways of helping people by expressing anger.” I almost always advise you to err on the side of compassion and kindness, Aquarius. But this is a perfect moment to take McGruder’s and DiFranco’s words to heart. It’s crucial that you find ways to creatively and constructively channel your sacred rage at what’s wrong in your world.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

In hopes of helping you fully claim the rising levels of goodies and self-confidence that are now available, I urge you to sing or chant the following rant 10 times a day for the next two weeks. “All I ever wanted in life was to make a difference, be worshipped like a god, conquer the universe, travel the world, meet interesting people, find the missing link, fight the good fight, live for the moment, seize each day, make a fortune, know what really matters, end world hunger, vanquish the dragon, be super popular but too cool to care, be master of my own fate, embrace my destiny, feel as much as I can feel, give too much and love everything.” (Thanks to Tatsuya Ishida at www.sinfest.com for dreaming up this set of affirmations.)

— © Rob Brezsny You can call Rob Brezsny, day or night, for your Expanded Weekly Horoscope

1-900-950-7700

$1.99 per minute • 18 & over • touchtone phone required • C/S 612-373-9785 • www.freewillastrology.com

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SEEKING SOMEONE SPECIAL SBM, 61, Virgo, smoker, likes reading, movies, dining out, travel. Seeking outgoing, caring woman, 18-55, with similar interests, for LTR. 850674 GIVE ME A TRY SBM, 30, Virgo, N/S, likes reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports. Seeking outgoing, caring woman, 18-40, N/S, with similar interests, for LTR. 851101 ONE SIMPLE WOMAN? SBM, 41, Leo, smoker, retired military and fireman, seeks SHF, 20-50, smoker, with simple tastes, for dating and possible relationship.

844123 WITH ME, YOU’RE IMMORTAL SWM, 30, 5’8”, 175lbs, brown/blue, Sagittarius, lasagna lover, smoker, seeks WF, 27-33, for movies, dinner, and dancing. 709192 GIVE ME A CALL SWM, 40, 5’8”, 185lbs, salt-n-pepper/green, N/S, enjoys fishing, horseback riding, stargazing, martial arts, reading, quiet times home.

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COLLEGE-EDUCATED SWM, 51, 6’1”, 193lbs, with blue eyes and a laid-back attitude, seeks a woman with a spontaneous, creative spirit. 434997 LOOKING FOR YOU SBM, 34, 6’2”, 235lbs, N/S, loves cooking, and loves to romance you. Seeking woman, 20-40. If you’re reading this ad, let’s hook up. 815532 DOWN FOR WHATEVER SBM, 18, 5’7”, Scorpio, N/S, student, seeks BF, 18-21, N/S, with a good head on her shoulders.

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752123 ACTUAL NICE GUY Independent, professional SBM, 5’ 9”, Average build, 30, Pisces, with a nice smile, N/S, seeks woman, 27-37, N/S, for friendship, possible romance. 751873 CALL ON MY Active, fun and intellectual SBM, 5’ 11”, Slim build, 20, Sagittarius, smoker, seeks woman, 20-24, smoker, for friendship, possible romance.

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836990 SOMEONE TO LOVE SWF, 48, enjoys a good horror movie, a drama or a comedy. Seeking a man for romance, quiet times at home, or just dancing the night away!

832399 COULD THIS BE YOU? SBF, 45, 5’4”, full-figured, Taurus, N/S, enjoys church, dining out, reading, and quiet times at home. ISO BM, 45-65, N/S, for LTR. 810309 LOOKING FOR YOU SWF, 37, 5’6”, Scorpio, N/S, enjoys mountains, bowling, the beach and music. Seeking WM, 3548, N/S, to be a companion, friend. 456544 LOVES TO BOWL WF, 48, petite, Capricorn, N/S, enjoys Chicano cuisines. Seeking WM, 46-59, N/S, very outgoing, for LTR. 806136 HIKER HEAVEN SWF, 45, full-figured, N/S, enjoys church, exploring, old movies, auctions, and gym.

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808682 SEEKS SIMILAR SWF, 23, Capricorn, N/S, 5’2”, 190lbs, brown hair, enjoys sports, walks, dining, cuddling.

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777612 AQUARIUS SEEKING SWF, 46, 5’6”, smoker, enjoys cuddling, movies, gardening. Seeking honest, handsome SWM, 40-50, with similar interests, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. 759515

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Seeking WF, 29-35, smoker, for friendship, possible romance. 693348 GETTING TO KNOW YOU SWM, 54, Libra, N/S, loves baseball, jogging, and swimming. Seeking WF, 40-55, for friendship, possible romance. 685199 A SMILE SAYS IT ALL Easygoing SBM, 32, new to area, enjoys dining, sporting events, quiet times home. Seeking SF who enjoys sports and doesn’t always need to be on the go, for romance, LTR. 683984 WELL-ROUNDED MAN Educated SBPM, 41, 5’11”, loves reading, working out, the arts, dining out, travel, quiet times.

Would like to meet SWF, 30-45, with similar interests, for fun, friendship, and maybe more.

442021 ARE YOU LOOKING 4 LOVE? you’ve found it! Honest, trustworthy SM, 33, enjoys drives, cruises, quiet times at home, time with friends, good conversations. Seeking communicative, outgoing, intelligent lady to share friendship and maybe relationship. 681924 HANDY MAN Medium-built, tolerant, clean, financially secure DWM, 48, 5’10”, Aquarius, smoker, with a good sense of humor, enjoys cooking, house work, gardening, reading, music, cuddling. Seeking woman, 35-55, for long-term relationship.

607612 PRINCE CHARMING SM, 25, 6’, 180lbs, brown/brown, truck driver, likes movies, reading, dining out, dancing, sports, travel. Seeking mature, outgoing woman who knows what she wants. 675675 SINGLE DAD Attractive, outgoing SWM, 27, 5’6”, 160lbs, likes movies, dining out, travel, conversation. Seeking outgoing, caring woman, 18-35, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. 677721 WAITING FOR YOU SBM, 19, with a brown complexion, wants to meet a woman who is through with games, for the fun stuff of life. 656637 HEART OF GOLD SWM, 31, 6’3”, 210lbs, brown/blue, enjoys reading, movies, travel, sports. Seeking outgoing, attractive SF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. 556440 LOOKING FOR MS. RIGHT SWM, 37, 5’9”, 180lbs, enjoys biking, sports, travel, dining out. Seeking outgoing, attractive SF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. 557954

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SEEKS MAN WITH DIRECTION GBM, 33, Capricorn, N/S, seeks understanding, level-headed, secure GBM, 25-48, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. 854633

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ACTIVE SBM SBM, 49, Pisces, N/S, enjoys bowling, movies, playing sports, seeks compatible BM, 30-46, N/S, with similar interests. 846543

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INTERESTED? Independent SWM, 37, 5’8”, 150lbs, brown/brown, would like to meet fun-loving, honest, real, professional, secure female to share dates, talks, walks, dinners and romance.

848764

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FUN TO HANG AROUND WITH GWM, 52, 5’2”, smoker, enjoys playing pool, having fun, seeks outgoing GWM, 40-55, smoker, with similar interests. 844895

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SEEKING SPECIAL GENTLEMAN SBM, 33, 6’2”, 245lbs, Taurus, N/S, likes movies, camping, music, reading, sports.

Seeking out GM, 35-48, for friendship, possible romance. 824261

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LET’S MEET FOR COFFEE Good-looking GWM, 36, 6’, 200lbs, muscular, tan, enjoys working out, yard work, spending time with my dogs. Looking for attractive SM, 32-48, for dating, maybe leading to LTR. 436231

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ME IN A NUTSHELL WM, 18, brown/blue, medium build, looking for fun, outgoing, energetic guy, 18-30, for movies, hanging out, quiet evenings at home, and more.

Friends first, maybe becoming serious.

425471

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ENJOYS ALL THAT LIFE HAS GWM, 40, shaved head, goatee, Pisces, smoker, seeks very special, attractive, strong, fun-loving GBM, 30-50, for dating, possible LTR. 257126

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YOU CAN MAKE MY DAY Male, 60, Cancer, N/S, seeks a WM, 49-65, N/S, for casual relationship. Why not call me?

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THE SWEETEST THING SBF, 26, 5’8”, 145lbs, wants to get out and have fun with a new friend, maybe more with time.

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PLAYS GUITAR, WRITES... poetry, and rollerblades.

NativeAmerican/African-American female, 18, 5’5”, 117lbs, very toned, laid-back, a goofball at times, N/S, seeks woman, 18-29. 818596

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BONEVILLE BABE SWF, 31, 5’5”, 130lbs, brown/green, smoker, enjoys playing golf, movies, and picnics at the lake. Seeking WF, 25-40, for friends, possibly more. 818908 DIVA WITH DIMPLES Independent DWF, 23, Gemini, smoker, enjoys hip-hop, R&B, and country music. Seeking WF, 20-30, smoker, for friendship, possible romance.

808179

A NEW BEGINNING Attractive and outgoing SWF, 5’ 5”, Athletic build, 20, Aquarius, smoker, loves the outdoors, camping and hiking. Seeking WF, 21-50, for LTR. 751226

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JUST THE FACTS SBPF, 41, Libra, N/S, seeks PF, age and race unimportant, who enjoys dining out, quiet times at home, and movies, for LTR. 730225

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SEEKING STRONG FRIENDSHIP BiWF, 27, 5’8’’, 145lbs, student, enjoys romantic comedies, fall, quiet restaurants. Seeking female for clubbing, shopping, dancing, dining, movies, television. 700095

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LOOKING FOR A FRIEND GBF, 38, black/brown, medium build, N/S, likes dining out, movies, travel, sports. Seeking kind, sweet, honest GBF, 30-38, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. 695904

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ENJOYS BOWLING SBF, 32, Gemini, N/S, 5’3”, 145lbs, mother of one, enjoys movies, the mall, dining, going out to eat, bowling, quiet times at home, seeks woman, 21-38, for friendship, possible romance.

646271

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SEEKING SOMEONE SINCERE GWM, 42, 5’11”, 175lbs, brown/blue, somewhat masculine, outgoing and friendly, likes dining out, travel, movies and shopping. Looking to meet honest, passionate SBM, with similar interests, for dating, possible LTR. 769411

GET TO KNOW ME SBF, 25, Taurus, N/S, enjoys movies, travel.

Seeking woman, 21-30, N/S, for friendship, possible romance. 803723

LOVES CHILDREN Easygoing, nice SF, 32, looking for someone with the same qualities, 29-39, and a people person. 388943

A LOT TO OFFER Non-smoking GBF, 37, N/S, seeks very attractive, unique, romantic, fun, intelligent, feminine GF, 27-37, for friendship, dating, possibly more.

749660

BEAUTIFUL AND FEMININE GWF, 32, 5’7”, 135lbs, enjoys reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports, music, movies.

Seeking GWF, 25-39, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. 329063

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FRIENDSHIP FIRST GWM, 26, 5’3”, athletic build, N/S, likes sports, working out, travel, reading, swimming. Seeking non-smoking GW/AM, 20-26, with similar interests. 764332

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HEALTHY AND FIT SBM, 25, 5’5”, 170lbs, masculine, nighttime inventory stocker, Capricorn, N/S, enjoys working out. Seeking energetic, passionate, masculine WM, 20-50, N/S. 708544

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A LOT TO OOFER Outgoing SWM, 5’ 10”, average build, 44, Capricorn, smoker, seeks WM, 40-50, smoker, to date and enjoy a lifetime companionship.

691527

ONLY A WOMAN WILL KNOW GBF, Capricorn, N/S, likes reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports. Seeking outgoing, caring GWF, 27-52, N/S, with similar interests, for dating and more. 850614

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This year, let us help you fulfill your resolutions

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DONT MISS OUT Fun-loving GWM, 24, likes sports, dining out, movies, quiet evenings at home, music. Seeking romantic, affectionate GM, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. 675371

√ Slater

☎

☎51149

SEEKING FRIENDSHIP SBM, 6’1”, 214lbs, enjoys indoor activities.

Seeking masculine SW/BM, honest, sincere, who is looking for new friendships. 737679

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SPRINGTIME BLOOM SWM, 33, with an education in business, seeks a man who loves country music, karaoke, springtime, and making a connection with a good person. 659296

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ROAM IF YOU WANT TO SWM, 42, loves cool weather and the renewal of Spring. Seeking a man who is strong both physically and emotional. 661792

√ David ☎12577

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SEA OF LOVE SWM, 29, Pisces, smoker, 5’7”, 175lbs, swims like a fish, likes water-skiing, bowling, movies, time at home, seeks compatible SWM, 30-40, for LTR. 647347

√ Quinn

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RELAXING AT HOME SBM, 35, Virgo, N/S, likes relaxing at home, fun, concerts, trips going to the beach. Seeks fun, spontaneous SBM, 26-37, N/S. 532700

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TAKE A CHANCE GWM, 43, 6’2”, 195lbs, black brown, seeks other GWM, for fun times and maybe something more. 493530

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How do you

To become a member call

Tim

Mark

☎14745

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GREAT PERSONALITY SBM, 18, 6’3”, 220lbs, masculine build, seeking SBM, 18-29, very masculine, energetic, fun-loving, to go out for dinners, walks and more.

627150

MASCULINE AND FIT SWM, 39, Libra, smoker, 5’8”, brown/brown, masculine, works out, fit, likes movies, riding bikes, camping, cooking, time at home. Seeks SWM, 30-43, with similar interests. 545309

I WANT TO MEET YOU! GBM, 32, 5’7”, average build, Pisces, N/S, likes reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports.

Seeking outgoing, caring GWM, 24-45, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. 850885

WHY WAIT? SWF, 38, 5’6”,140lbs, short brown hair, easygoing, enjoys playing golf, the beach. Seeking feminine female, 20-40, to have fun times and more.

448489

© 2003 TPI Group

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Classifieds Alt. Lifestyles

Music

Rosedale Transport Needs OTR Drivers, both team and solo.

If you have one year experience, CDL Class A with haz-mat, good driving record. Home weekly, 1-800-486-3681 (01/08#8319)

Jonathan Karow’s

Help Wanted

New & Used Musical Instruments • Buy • Sell • Trade • Consign • Lessons • Repairs • Open Late

Live Life at the NEXX Level!

Own Your Own Business PT/FT Training Provided Call Me Today 888-742-1777 LeRoy NEX X Independent Rep (01/08#8332)

Mind, Body & Spirit

Saturday, January 10th Petite DeJohnville

★

★

★ ★

★ Drink Specials: WED $9 Wet N' Wild FRI & SAT Famous Beer Bust All You Can Drink $9

Open Mon-Fri 8pm-3am Sat 8pm-2:30am

Fri & Sat. No Cover Before 10 p.m.

1632 Walton Way • Augusta, GA

706-733-2603

Email: ColiseumAugusta@aol.com

★

★

★

★

$1.00 D Every N raft ig All Nigh ht t

★

★

★ ★

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ STARLIGHT CABARET THUR - Dance Party SAT - Dance Party FRI - Dance Party Lauren Alexander Miss Peg & DJ Mark & DJ Mark SUN- Dance Party Claire Storm & DJ Jon Jon 141 Marlboro Street, N.E. Aiken S.C. • 803-644-6485

DOORS OPEN AT 8:00 THURS, FRI, SAT, & SUN • 8PM-2AM

18 to Party • 21 to Drink • No Cover With This Ad

Announcements Richmond County Department of Family and Children Services is seeking dependable foster parents to provide temporary housing, care and suppor t for Georgia’s children. We are primarily in need of emergency foster homes to care for children for only one month.

Emergency foster families will be provided financial assistance for simply holding available space for children should an emergency arise but must be accepting of all children. If you are interested please call L. Lewis @ 706-721-3718 (01/08#8314)

Email your classified ad to classified@metrospirit.com

READINGS BY

MRS. GRAHAM

C A R D R E A D I N G S

Mrs. Graham, Psychic Reader, Advises on all affairs of life, such as love, marriage, and business. She tells your past, present and future. Mrs. Graham does palm, tarot card, and Chakra balancing. She specializes in relationships and reuniting loved ones.

Premier Investigations •Domestic •Child Custody •Background Checks •Cover t Surveillance 869-1667 (01/08#8334)

Services

Fishing for a good deal on real estate in Columbia County WWW.GAHUD.COM (01/08#8312) SPECIAL READINGS WITH CARD

Friday, January 9th Ravionne Starr

★ ★

Call 738-1142 to place your Classified ad!

**27 VALUABLE TIPS** Free repor t reveals what you should know to get your home sold fast and for top dollar!

Free recorded message 1-877-276-7219 ID#1023 Re/Max Masters, Inc. (01/08#8311)

Full Body Massage!

Therapeutic tension relief, intense or tender touch, rela xing music, aromatherapy, by appointment only - $49.00/hr.

Call Joy - 706-771-9470 or John - 706-868-5598 (01/08#8326)

Aiken’s Ultimate Dance Club ★

RAY WILLIAMSON & ASSOCIATES Private Investigations 17 years experience Domestic Relations and Child Custody Cases Licensed and Bonded in Georgia & Carolina 706-854-9672 or 706-854-9678 fax (01/08#8327)

OLDETOWN

AFFORDABLE • CONVENIENT Tan At Home Payments From $25/month FREE Color Catalog Call Today 1-800-842-1305 (01/29#6826)

341 S. Belair Rd. Open from 9 a.m. til 9 p.m.

Call (706) 733-5851

Professional Therapeutic Massage Prevention & Treatment Sciatica, Back, Neck, Hip, Knee, Ankle, Shoulder, Whiplash, Hamstrings, Tennis Elbow, Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

Repetitive Use Injury Therapy 706-592-9450 Or 399-8527 (01/08#8338)

2 0 0 4

Private Investigator

DOWNTOWN CONVENIENCE SPACIOUS 2 BR, 2 1/2 BATH TOWNHOUSE $685 PER MONTH, PLUS DEPOSIT WILL SELL FOR $75,000 CALL 706-877-4419 OR 706-877-4420 FOR APPOINTMENT (01/08#8337)

WOLFF TANNING BEDS

THE COLISEUM

S P I R I T J A N

230 8th Street • 724-1172

Real Estate

Equipment

Premier Entertainment Complex & High Energy Dance Music

M E T R O

8

Business Opportunity

MARLBORO STATION

Pilates

Where Musicians Shop

$250 - $500 a Week Will train to work at home helping the US Government file HUD/FHA Mor tgage Refunds No experience necessary Call 1-800-778-0353 (01/08#8335

1923 Walton Way (706) 481-8829 Entrance in rear on Heckle Street E-MAIL: clubargos@clubargos.net www.clubargos.com

Call 738-1142 to place your Classified ad today!

Employment

ATTENTION! Home based Business!

Control Your OWN Hours and Income!

Full Training. Free CD-ROM and INFO Booklets www.goldmine4alll.com 1-888-232-9833 (01/08#8333)

UPCOMING EVENTS: MALE REVUE COMING IN FEBRUARY

43

Poor Water Drainage?

• French Drains • Gutter Drains • Catch Basins • Erosion Control • Waterproofing • Crawl Space

GUARANTEED SOLUTIONS

LICENSED • INSURED

706-869-9988

www.sundownconstruction.com

Telephone Service Unlimited Long-Distance & Local Calling One Price, One Bill, One Company Keep Your Same Phone # Call 1-800-392-4050 Eula NEX X Independent Rep (01/08#8331)

Travel

www.metrospirit.com Religion Metropolitan Community Church of Our Redeemer A Christian Church reaching to all: including Gay, Lesbian, and Transgendered Christians.

Meeting at 557 Greene Street, 11 am and 6 pm each Sunday. 722-6454 MCCOurRedeemer@aol.com www.mccoor.com (01/08#8128) Meditation & Buddhism: Tuesdays, 7 - 8:30 PM, Jan 13 - 27th at the Unitarian Church of Augusta 3501 Walton Way Ex tension Ganden Center (803) 256-0150 or www.MeditationInSouthCarolina.org (01/08#8322)

Wheels

Dead Bodies Wanted

We want your dead junk or scrap car bodies.

We tow away and for some we pay.

706/829-2676

OR

706/798-9060

JOIN NOW!!!

Get Ready for the New Y ear!

2 for 1 Joining Fee Hurry Offer Ends Soon! *

The Golf Largest Selection Simulator Exercise Pool of Free Weights & Kids Machines in the CSRA Fitness Over 150 Group Pieces Exercise

of Racquetball Court Cardio Equipment Private Ladies Only Club 4408 Evans to Lock Road Evans 210-1140

Free Child Care

Jacuzzi

CALL OR STOP BY TODAY!!!!

3637 Walton Way Ext. Augusta 481-0502 (Old Harris Teeter Building) SOME RESTRICTIONS MAY APPLY MUST BE 18 YEARS OLD & LOCAL RESIDENT

• Spinning • Step • Yoga • Pilates • Taerobics and more