Metro Spirit 02.12.2004

METRO SPIRIT Feb. 12-18 Vol. 15 No. 28

Augusta’s Independent Voice

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Your reaction shouldn’t be.

Heart disease is the leading killer of women. So being informed and knowing how to recognize the signs of a heart attack are important, but not enough. It’s also essential that you seek medical treatment within one hour of symptom onset. This is when drugs and other treatments will be most effective.

Women’s HeartAdvantage™ is a program offered by University Health Care System and their community partners. It was designed to help you learn more about the specific signs and symptoms women exhibit, and how important it is to act quickly if you experience them. This is especially important if you are among the 93 percent of women right here in the C.S.R.A. who have at least one risk factor for heart disease.

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METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 12, 2004 3

THE CATHOLIC CHURCH OF THE MOST HOLY TRINITY

GOSPEL EVENSONG AND CONCERT February 22 4:00 P.M. Holy Trinity’s Gospel Choir leads this service in observance of Black History Month.

Free Admission “Georgia's Oldest Catholic Church” is located at the corner of 8th and Telfair St. in historic Downtown Augusta

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Contents

METRO SPIRIT ON THE COVER 19 Metrosexual Backlash

By Amy Fennell Christian

FEBRUARY 12-18 • FREE WEEKLY • METROSPIRIT.COM

Cover Design: Erin Lummen

FEATURES 16 One Step Closer to a Sales Tax List OPINION 6 Whine Line 6 This Modern World 6 Words 6 Thumbs Up/Down 10 Letters 14 Insider

By Stacey Eidson

MUSIC 41 Life of Jimmy Scott Makes for Fascinating Film 42 Do-It-Yourself Ethic Works Well for Honestly 43 Diversity Propels Black Kites 44 Music by Turner 45 Sightings 46 Music Minis 46 CD Reviews 47 After Dark

BITE 24 Aphrodisiac Attack!

25 In the Mix ARTS 26 The Dark Imagery of Art Werger 28 Three Theatre Companies Strut Their Stuff EVENTS 30 Calendar

STUFF 50 News of the Weird 51 Brezsny’s Free Will Astrology 51 New York Times Crossword Puzzle 52 Amy Alkon: Advice Goddess 53 Datemaker 55 Classifieds

39

CINEMA 36 Flix 38 Close-Up: “50 First Dates” 39 Review: “50 First Dates” 40 Reel Time EDITOR & PUBLISHER David Vantrease ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Rhonda Jones STAFF WRITERS Stacey Eidson, Brian Neill ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Joe White ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE Kriste Lindler

PRODUCTION MANAGER Joe Smith GRAPHIC ARTISTS Natalie Holle, Erin Lummen, Rhonda Hall ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT ASSISTANT Lisa Jordan ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT INTERN Andy Stokes

ACCOUNTING MANANGER/CLASSIFIEDS Sharon King SENIOR MUSIC CONTRIBUTOR Ed Turner CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Amy Alkon, Rob Brezsny, Rachel Deahl, David Elliott, Amy Fennell Christian CARTOONISTS Tom Tomorrow

Metro Spirit is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks of the year. Editorial coverage includes arts, local issues, news, entertainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum.

The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publishers. Visit us at www.metrospirit.com. Copyright © Metro Spirit, Inc. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. Phone: (706) 738-1142 Fax: (706) 733-6663 E-mail: spirit@metrospirit.com Letters to the Editor: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, Ga. 30914-3809

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44

OPINION

A

ll these people ran around cutting up tree limbs that fell in their yards. Then what do they do? They sit in the parking lot of Wal-Mart and sell it as firewood.

More people trying to profit on other people’s tragedy. You people make me sick.

Give me a break! We’ve got kids in foster care dying all the time. People on the street homeless.

And you all put this story “Good Bye, Molly” in the paper. I have a dog too, but really?

Thank you for publishing Keith Shafer’s letter to the editor in your Jan. 29 issue. Obviously, it is important for the masses to be kept abreast of his current opinions at all times.

Why else would every publication in town print his numerous missives each time he has a new thought? I think he would make a terrific presidential candidate! That way, the entire world could benefit from his vast insight into all matters. Or perhaps he would make an excellent replacement for Austin Rhodes in the Spirit. For the good of mankind, I hope he will take the necessary precautions as he climbs to higher moral ground. I understand it is a slippery slope.

A big whine for Beasley Broadcast Group for changing the format of 102.7 from nostalgia/oldies to contemporary Christian music. Now I just have to listen to CDs, because it was the only station on the air that I liked. Thumbs down!

Man! Those Cuban people are so desperate to escape Fidel’s Cuba they’re trying to drive here! Perhaps it’s time for Operation Cuban Freedom!

Is the case of the East Georgia Mental Health Center closed or just under the rug? After all this time to investigate, indict, etc., the citizens should be informed as to the outcome regarding the Points and Brockman investigation. Is this going to be handled correctly, or just like the authorities have done regarding the several Charles Walker investigations?

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METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 12, 2004

Et tu, Spirit? Surely you see the irony in the public’s outrage over a quick flash of one rather unimpressive 37-year-old’s boob, espe-

Whine Line cially when compared to some of the erectile dysfunction ads that ran earlier in the evening — including the one with the disclaimer about a possible erection lasting for more than 36 hours requiring medical attention.

That was infinitely more disturbing. And, uh, has anyone forgotten this is football, not an evening at the opera? You know … a bunch of burly, homophobic guys beating each other up at unbelievable salaries while scantily clad buxom airheads shake their ... pom poms? It was a sorry half-time show, but that had nothing to do with the “peep show” at the end.

Please, oh please, holier-than-thou moral police: Stop telling me what offends me and what I shouldn’t be watching on TV and listening to on the radio. I’ve earned the right to decide that for myself. As for not having a choice about what you saw at half-time, who watches half-time shows, anyway? You’re supposed to refill the beer cooler at half-time.

On either side of Janet Jackson’s “pastied” breast was a hell of a football game.

Remember that?

To the person whining about the tacky street food vendor(s) on Broad Street: Please learn to count. I have worked downtown for the last four years and have only noticed one food vendor. This gentleman’s cart is always looked for at midday by many of us downtown. He is always pleasant, the food is great, affordable and his cart is always clean and neatly organized. Please find something important to whine about.

Mercer and his sidekick Ford have always voted for re-zonings and variances in support of their builder-developer friends, regardless of the desires of the abutting residents. If left to their own devices, the developers, with the help of Mercer and Ford, would have a gas station, convenience store, drugstore and dry cleaner at every major intersection in Columbia County. And these are the people we have leading our county into permanent gridlock. Time to get out the broom and start the clean sweep!

Apparently the employees at the tag office on Laney Walker have discovered how to continued on page 8

Words

“They’re just wrong. There may be no evidence, but I did report.

Otherwise I wouldn’t have been honorably discharged.”

— President George W. Bush, during an interview on NBC’s “Meet the Press,” in response to persistent rumors that he failed to complete all of his National Guard service in 1972.

Thumbs Up Three cheers for stronger beers!

Georgia state senators recently approved with little debate a bill that would allow the sale of beers with up to 14-percent alcohol content — more than twice the current legal limit.

Not only is that positive news because it will take fewer beers to get

you in the zone, but their higher alcohol content usually indicates superior quality. Just ask the Europeans, who often turn up their noses at our watery offerings.

Let’s just hope that people consume the beers in their homes or with a designated driver in tow.

Thumbs Down Halliburton, that no-bid-required Iraq rebuilder, just can’t seem to get the stink off itself. Already, the company formerly chaired by VicePresident Dick Cheney has come under fire for overbilling the U.S. government in carrying out its

rebuilding efforts in Iraq. Now, according to the Associated Press, the Nigerian government claims the company paid $180 million in bribes to secure a natural gas project in that country — while Cheney was still chairman of the company.

HISTORIC DOWNTOWN AIKEN Features

An Art Walk From 6pm to 9pm This Month Only, Two Nights!

February 19 and February 20 March 18, April 15, May 20 Rabold Gallery 146A Laurens Street SW 803-641-4405

Aiken Center for the Arts and Aiken Artist Guild 122 Laurens Street SW 803-641-9094

The Jackson Gallery 300 Park Avenue SE 803-648-7397

Studio 143 SW 143 Laurens Street SW

The Arnold Gallery 321 Richland Avenue West 803-502-1100

Loft Studios 116 Laurens Street SW

Artists’ Parlor Craft Gallery 126 Laurens Street NW 803-648-4639

REQUEST FOR PROPOSALS ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT OMBUDSMAN (Business Liaison) AUGUSTA, GEORGIA REQUEST FOR PROPOSALS The Housing and Neighborhood Development (HND) Department of Augusta, Georgia requests proposals from respondents interested in securing a contract to act as an Economic Development Ombudsman (EDO) for Augusta, GA. Augusta, GA, a consolidated jurisdiction made up of the City of Augusta and Richmond County, GA wishes to provide assistance to businesses for developing and/or expanding, operations in Augusta, GA. The selected entity or individual will serve as contract employee with HND Department and will be involved with business assistance focusing on business retention, attraction and expansion services for new and existing businesses. The anticipated contract period is one year with possibility of renewal depending on satisfactory performance and available funding.

The purpose of the initiative is to provide an advocacy service that is customer-tailored and meets the unique needs of different business types, sizes and situations. The EDO will help all businesses understand City requirements and resolve problems that may arise between a business and the City in a timely manner.

Response due in to HND by COB 02/25/04. For additional RFP requirements call Henry Holt 821-1797. The full mailing address for proposals is as follows:

Southern Moon Pottery 310 Richland Avenue West 803-641-2309

Augusta Housing and Neighborhood Development Department #1 Tenth Street, Suite 430 Augusta, Georgia 30901 Attention: Warren C. Smith, Director

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continued from page 6 become immortal. They work so slowly that time begins to slow down and stop. The other day I walked in and there were no people in line. I still had to stand there until five people were waiting behind me. Then they decided to go to work. Maybe people in our dimension are invisible to those who have the power to stop or slow time.

All the people whining about the Super Bowl half-time show are just mad because they didn’t get to see the whole effect. All the while they are whining, they are steadily pulling it up on the Internet!

I find it real hard to believe that that mug shot was really of James Brown. To me it looks like some raggedy wino bum that you’d find sleeping around the Salvation Army.

Re: Justin Timberlake/Janet Jackson’s Super Bowl “performance.” Oldies 93.9’s newsperson Mary Liz Nolan covered “ that best! She stated something to this effect: “Of all of the Super Bowl events, it’s absurd that Janet Jackson exposing her poor little breast deserved so much attention!” Way to go Mary Liz! We could hope that the next Canadian cold front that blows into Augusta will bring a good dose of liberalism with it. Let’s imagine for a minute what life could be like—free healthcare for everyone, gun-free cities, clean streets, a public education system that works and low-cost prescription drugs. Oh yes, and imagine a society that tolerates, even celebrates, differences between people, including race and sexual orientation. Could it happen here? Probably not. Perhaps it’s time to buy some long underwear and move north.

Saw some of the Bush interview on “Meet the Press.” Couldn’t help but notice that his inarticulate answer as to whether or not capturing Saddam Hussein was worth 530+ dead and 3000+ maimed Americans did not include the word “yes”.

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METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 12, 2004

Am I the only one who thought our garbage haulers were supposed to pick up our storm debris? All my neighbors and myself have cut it up and put it on the curb and there it sits for the second week. Sure don’t get what you pay for anymore!

The writer who made the nasty statement in last week’s Spirit about the food vendors on Broad Street has apparently never been to any large cities where street food vendors are quite common. That person is speaking from ignorance, since the lone hot dog vendor on Broad Street is licensed to be there and his cart is cleaner than a lot of non-mobile restaurants in Augusta. That writer has also obviously never eaten the delicious hot dogs offered by this man — the best in town!

Methinks there is a little jealousy at work here. That cart has just as much right to be there as any other business downtown.

There are only a handful of “good” people in government and Sue Townsend was one of them. You will be missed.

I have the solution to the Reinaldo Rivera dilemma. Take him to MCG. and surgically remove his head for the doctors and scientists to study. Then, just for good measure, put the rest of him in the electric chair and fry him for a couple of hours. That way, it will not be cruel and unusual punishment so the bleeding hearts can’t complain, and we, the taxpayers, won’t have to support his sorry butt for the rest of his life.

The Tim Wilson show Friday at the Imperial was really funny. I must apologize to the two trailer park queens who sat in front of us, though. Sorry I interrupted your nonstop discussion of your soap-opera life to say we wanted to hear Tim. I know you put out extra effort to speak over the performer we spent $25 apiece to see, but I was being rude, trying to ignore your very interesting life. I sure wish you would read this, but then, you’d have to know how to read.

It’s true. Canada certainly does have safer and cleaner streets, better schools, decent healthcare (and no HMOs), excellent public transportation, a strong recycling program, etc. In short, it’s a country that offers a great quality of life for its citizens. I was shocked to move here to what I thought was the wealthiest country in the world and find poverty everywhere, kids with no healthcare, high illiteracy rates, poor public schools, and utter wastefulness of natural resources. Instead of improving the quality of life here, we invest millions and millions of dollars in a war to find rumored weapons of mass destruction. Wake up, America! Kick out G.W. Bush!

Why is there so much flak about James Brown being arrested? It’s no different from these other rock and movie stars being arrested for drugs, DUI, shoplifting, etc. on a continuous basis as well. The majority of the time they are given a fine, ordered to perform community service and ordered to enter a treatment facility until deemed “cured.”

James Brown should be ordered to attend anger management classes and donate money to women’s shelters, not that doing so would excuse his behavior. But he should not be treated more harshly than other stars.

Why is there such uproar about Janet Jackson exposing herself on live TV when it was Justin Timberlake who ripped the costume in the first place? She admitted that she decided at the last minute to change costumes and she looked very surprised when her breast was exposed. This whole hoopla is taking away from the fact that this year’s Super Bowl was the best in years. Also, the half-time show was better than some of the commercials shown this year.

— Call our Whine Line at 510-2051 and leave your comments. We won’t use your name. Fax your whines by dialing (706) 7336663 or e-mail your whines to whine@metrospirit.com.

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OPINION

Reader Appalled by Kid Rock, Super Bowl

D

ear Editor:

When I watched the Super Bowl half-time event, I was much more appalled by the fact that Kid Rock desecrated the American flag, than I was by the partially nude breast of a female performer. He wore it like a Tshirt with a hole cut through the middle, and then ripped it off and handed it to his guitar-playing buddy, who wadded it up and threw it on the stage. Why don’t all of the so-called patriotic people get offended by that — total disrespect to the American flag on national television?

Flag etiquette is as follows: “The flag should not be used as part of a costume ... When the flag is lowered, no part of it should touch the ground or any other object; it should be received by waiting hands and arms. To store the flag, it should be folded neatly and ceremoniously.” Americans should know how to

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Letters

respect the flag and act accordingly.

Being a veteran and an American citizen, these things are ingrained in me. I was completely offended at the fact that an American showed no respect for the flag.

To top it off, I had to listen to rap music about being addicted to drugs. Now that is inappropriate. Did no one hear that?

People all around the country are more concerned with a split second of a partially naked breast!

Shouldn’t we be more concerned for our children, who are listening to songs about drugs and promiscuity and watching someone totally disrespect the American flag, all in the name of “entertainment”? Not to mention the advertisements for the Grammy Awards. I guess a naked Britney is acceptable?

Kimberly Gray

Takes Issue With Priest’s Letter

D

ear Editor:

I would like to take issue with Father Allan J. McDonald’s Metro Spirit letter that harshly criticizes pro-choice women and Planned Parenthood.

The article stated he was astounded, shocked and downright frightened that women had the legal right to make the choice to kill their pre-born baby with the assistance of Planned Parenthood. Yet Father McDonald’s employer, the Catholic Church, teaches that all precious newborn babies are depraved, spiritually dead sinners condemned to hell.

Also, the Catholic Church opposes the use of contraceptives that would prevent a depraved, spiritually dead sinner from being conceived. I guess they believe hell to be a better option. What is truly astounding, shocking and downright frightening is that, in the 21st century,

civilized people, especially women, are still mentally enslaved by this unproven religious superstition.

Because of religious thinking, countless numbers of women have been enslaved, tortured, burned at the stake and treated worse than animals. Because of religious thinking women, were not considered favorably in the original United States Constitution. Because of religious thinking, women are treated as subservient geisha girls instead of equal partners in a marital relationship.

Religion has been and continues to be a ball and chain to the advancement of women. Instead of trying to deny the legal right of a woman, all religious prolifers should get in line to legally adopt a child and stop giving lip service about their concern for innocent children.

Kevin Palmer

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Letters

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Disappointed in Decision To Cancel James Brown Music Festival

D

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ear Editor,

While in Nashville last week, I was both surprised and dumbfounded to hear on their 6 o’clock news about the Arts Council’s (via Brenda Durant) decision to “not honor their local celebrity” Mr. James Brown because of his arrest. Here I was where music (of all types) is the attraction (with museums, gift shops, etc). Famous artists live there and allow the public a guided bus tour of their homes, and they — the artists-musicians — support the city as well. It is a win-win situation.

So now, back in Augusta, I am still confused. Mr. James Brown is respected and honored throughout the entire world.

At his last arrest I was in Europe — they could not understand the public humiliation. And now his hometown, thanks to Mrs. Durant and the Greater Augusta

Arts Council, has made national news, even CNN, but not in a favorable way.

The Arts Council is supposed to support the arts, is it not? And are we not innocent until proven guilty? And why was the sponsorship for the May 8 festival not lined up already? That should have been started back when the decision was made to commission Dr. John Savage to do the sculpture and rename the show the James Brown Music Festival.

My advice James Brown — the Godfather of Soul — is that if your hometown cannot honor you, then don’t acknowledge it. I am personally saddened by the Arts Council’s decision and ashamed that our mayor did not intervene in a decision made by an organization that represents the decision of the city.

Veronique Lyle Thurmond

Clarification: In last week’s story about the Augusta Aviation Commission, it was reported that Augusta Regional Airport had spent approximately $96,000 on an interim finance director from the local firm, Baird & Co. Airport Director Buster Boshears told the Metro Spirit this week that he meant to clarify during the Jan. 29 meeting that it would cost the airport $96,000 if the aviation commission decided to retain the outside accountant for an entire year. To date, Boshears said, the airport has spent only approximately a third of that money.

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OPINION

Insider

Will Judge Albert Pickett Retire?

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METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 12, 2004

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t’s an open secret in legal and judicial circles that Superior Court Judge Albert Pickett may retire this year. Insiders report that Pickett is set to make his intentions known publicly in the near future. Now that the Reinaldo Rivera trial is behind Pickett, an announcement could be forthcoming. Odds are that Pickett will decide to retire.

At least two people have expressed interest in the Superior Court judgeship if Pickett moves on.

Richmond County Solicitor Sheryl Jolly and Sheryl Jolly State Court Judge Gayle Hamrick have discussed the possibility with friends and political leaders over the past few weeks but within the last few days Hamrick has decided against running, according to insiders.

That leaves Jolly as the big name poised to run when Pickett bows out.

Hamrick was wise to withdraw his name from the hat of possible candidates. He is safely ensconced in his current judicial position and in a straighton contest with Jolly, Hamrick would lose. Political friends have told him as much. Apparently, he listened.

Other names could surface but Jolly looks like the person to beat in this contest. Her longtime public service and political campaign skills will work in her favor. Qualifying deadline for the July 20 election is in late April so it is important for the candidates that Pickett make his announcement soon. There is a lot to do for anyone seeking the office. We’ll keep you posted.

Ho-Hum, the Race for Coroner Is On Who cares? Only a hand full of political types and friends of the candidates are interested so far but the race is drawing near. Deputy Coroner Grover Tuten and Jimmy Wylds, of the Richmond County Sheriff’s Department, will face off in a special election in March to decide who replaces former Coroner Leroy Sims.

Mr. Sims died while in office.

Sources close to both candidates report that it is difficult to raise money

or garner excitement for this race.

Tuten and Wylds are both capable of performing the job so this is one election that will likely come down to personality and which of the two can get the most friends to the polls. Neither candidate has huge name recognition and few people will pay attention to the race so turning out the few voters who will cast ballots is critical.

Augusta Day Fizzles The Metro Augusta Chamber of Commerce coordinates an event in Atlanta each year called “Augusta Day.” Usually, bus loads of Augustans and political hangers-on Rep. Jack Connell of all stripes make the annual trip to visit with legislators and various departments of state government. Augusta bigwigs make their sales pitches to state agencies for projects that will benefit our fair town while bus loads of regular Augusta citizens join them in the evening for a barbecue bash with local elected leaders and politicians from all areas of the state.

The event was always a big deal for the venerable former state Rep. Jack Connell. He fretted over the details, pushed the chamber to action, and coerced a large contingent of statewide Democrats, usually including the Democratic governor, to attend the barbecue. With the Republicans in charge and Connell retired, the event just didn’t have the pizzazz of previous years, according to several people in attendance. By all accounts, attendance was down significantly and the event lacked the fun of former outings. At least Governor Sonny Perdue showed up.

Maybe in future years the event won’t be planned for the Monday after Super Bowl Sunday. Whaddayathink?

As to whether anything was accomplished via the lobbying efforts, who knows? It’s a tight budget year and promises at this point may be hard to keep as the budget process creeps along.

— The views expressed in this column are the views of The Insider and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

An Augusta Original

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15

One Step Closer to a Sales Tax List

By Stacey Eidson

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METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 12, 2004

W

eek after week, for nearly nine months, members of the city’s citizens review committee for the Special Purpose Local Option Sales Tax (SPLOST) patiently listened to more than $500 million worth of funding requests from across Richmond County.

The 21-member committee held a series of 14 town hall meetings throughout Augusta to give the public the opportunity to discuss these projects and receive information regarding Phase V of the sales tax.

Finally, on Feb. 5, all of the group’s hard work paid off.

“We have come a long way toward ending this process,” said Monty Osteen, co-chairman of the committee.

With a unanimous vote, the citizens committee finalized its proposed $352.4 million sales tax list, which it will recommend to the Augusta Commission on Feb. 17.

From there, Augusta commissioners will have the opportunity to tweak or mold the committee’s proposal into a list they hope will convince Richmond County voters to approve Phase V of SPLOST this summer.

Voters have supported the collection of a 1-cent sales tax in Augusta since 1986, but this year’s sales tax vote is promising to be like no other.

In the past, the Augusta Commission has asked voters to extend the sales tax every five years, but this year the citizens committee has based its recommended project list on a dollar amount, rather than a time period.

Therefore, instead of asking voters to approve five more years of 1-cent sales tax collections that would only generate approximately $160 million, the citizens committee has suggested that commissioners ask Augustans to consider $352 million worth of projects.

But, unlike previous years, not all of those projects are on one ballot.

If the Augusta Commission accepts the citizens committee’s recommendation, voters will be presented with five ballot questions regarding SPLOST.

The first ballot question will include $239.5 million worth of projects including the following: expanding the city’s infrastructure; constructing a number of public facilities, such as the proposed judicial center and jail pods; and developing several quality-of-life projects like a new main library.

The citizens committee has asked that a second ballot question be created to offer voters the choice of allocating $60 million of sales tax money toward constructing a new $94 million sports arena at the former site of Regency Mall.

A third ballot question would ask voters to consider giving $25 million of SPLOST to the proposed performing arts center. And a fourth ballot question would allow voters the option of allocating $2.9 million to fund renovation to the existing civic center.

Finally, the last ballot question would ask voters to consider providing $25 million of sales tax money to a proposed 12,000-seat amphitheater at Diamond Lakes Regional Park.

But does the citizens committee really expect voters to approve all five of the ballot questions equaling $352 million?

“My feeling is, the public will cut this budget and all of these initiatives will not pass,” said Osteen during the committee’s Jan. 28 meeting.

However, Osteen’s co-chairman, Ed Tarver, suggested that the citizens committee do a little more cutting of its own.

Tarver recommended that the group agree to cap its proposed list at $320 million, which would equate to approximately 10 years of sales tax collections.

But the rest of the committee disagreed with that strategy.

“Let the public, who turns out to be smarter than most of us usually, make that decision,” Osteen said.

Other committee members felt the committee had already made significant cuts to the proposed sales tax list, including denying an $8.8 million request by City Administrator George Kolb for a Hope VI federal grant offered

by the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD).

“HUD sets aside so many billions of dollars to specifically revitalize neighborhoods,” Kolb told the committee.

“They may put it in a housing complex, a commercial complex or other amenities that are designed to eliminate or enhance public housing.”

Kolb suggested if Augusta received money from the federal government’s Hope VI program that the city should target communities such as LaneyWalker, Turpin Hill and the Bethlehem area.

“It’s my understanding that every major metropolitan area in the state of Georgia has received at least one HOPE VI award except for Augusta,” Kolb said. “So, the $8.8 million that we are proposing to this committee would be the actual match for achieving and getting that grant.

Specifically, we could get as much as $15 to $20 million from HUD, but then we would have to match it either in kind or with hard dollars in order to make the program successful.”

While several committee members thought the program sounded beneficial, many felt that Kolb was too late in providing information about the request to the group.

“I would feel more comfortable not knowing about this project,” said committee member Nathaniel Charles.

“This is an issue that I think should be dealt with totally separate from sales tax.”

Another request that didn’t make the committee’s deadline was a proposal from the Southeastern Natural Science Academy.

This local organization, which oversees the Phinizy Swamp Nature Park, requested $670,000 for a program called the Savannah River at Risk Initiative.

After nine months of hearing hundreds of proposals, this was the first time many of the committee members received any information about the Southeastern Natural Science Academy’s request.

“We advertised, we told people we were only going to accept proposals up to a certain date,” committee member Wayne Hawkins said. “Everybody else

got down here within the deadline.”

Tarver explained that the Southeastern Natural Science Academy presented its proposal during the city’s town hall meetings.

“What was the reason for having the town hall meetings if we were not

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“My feeling is, the public will cut this budget and all of these initiatives will not pass.”

A $3 million request from the Richmond County Board of Education to expand a new football stadium and track for Lucy C. Laney High School and a $4.5 million request from the transit department were added to the list. Transit’s request was approved because Kolb told the committee that the money could qualify for at least an 80-percent reimbursement from the federal government.

Former Augusta Commissioner J.B. Powell also managed to squeeze another $10 million into the proposed sales tax’s budget for what he called “utilities relocation.”

Powell explained that if the city didn’t have enough money in its sales tax budget to relocate utilities in a public works project, it could affect the city’s water bonds.

“Those bonds are structured to be repaid according to a rate that has already been set up. That’s done,” Powell said.

“But if you go in and take $10 million to relocate the utilities, it is going to knock everything out of whack and it is going to change your rate to where it has to be paid back at a higher rate.”

In order to prevent that from happening, Powell suggested the committee increase the public works department’s budget from $82 million to $92 million to cover any unforeseen costs relating to relocating utilities.

However, Kolb told the committee that Powell’s proposed increase was unnecessary since the water rates already include the cost of replacing utilities.

“Mr. Kolb, you and I have done argued about this,” Powell pointedly said.

“Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining. My problem with this thing is this: The money ain’t in there, George.

And it is going to affect the rate.”

Powell proved he still knows how to persuade a crowd because the committee voted unanimously to add an additional $10 million to public works’ budget.

“All I’m saying is, put the money in there,” Powell said. “If the commission, the utilities director and the public works director decide they don’t need it, then fine, they won’t use it.

But I don’t think it’s going to happen because they’re going to need it.”

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 12, 2004

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going to allow people to present new ideas?” Tarver asked.

But the committee decided the proposal provided too little information too late in the game.

However, not all late requests received the cold shoulder.

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❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑❑❑ ❑❑❑ ❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑❑❑ ❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑❑❑ ❑❑❑ ❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑❑❑ ❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑❑❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑❑❑ ❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑❑❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑❑❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ Ph❑ ❑❑❑ ❑❑❑ oto ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ Credit: ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ B ❑ ❑ ❑ria❑n Neill ❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑❑❑❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ Mario ❑❑ Enriquez

popularizing the term and starting the whole craze in the first place.

So what’s all the fuss about?

‘90s that they got the formula right.

“They put a babe on the cover to address something men are interested in,” he said. “But more importantly, I think, this was a way of addressing anxiety that young men felt about it being ‘faggy’ or ‘poufy’ to be reading a magazine like that.”

And while many women are offended by the almost soft-core porn look of the “babe” pictures, what’s more interesting to Simpson are the ads which make up a good bit of the magazines’ content. Most of them feature young men, attractive in an androgynous way, often in suggestive poses.

David Beckham: Über-Metrosexual Simpson even now doubts that he was the first to use the word, but he was, apparently, the first to take the consumer trend he was seeing and describe in detail in a 1994 article for the British newspaper The Independent. “I was satirizing what consumerism is doing to men,” he explained. “Traditional masculinity continued on page 20

19

The Rise of the Metrosexual The metrosexual prototypes are, of course, urban gay men (can you say “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy”?), but there’s never been a shortage of men who enjoy the finer things in life and indulge in their pleasures with nary a nudge from a girlfriend, wife or mother.

Dandies. Film stars like Cary Grant. Hugh Hefner, for crying out loud.

The difference, said Simpson, is that before the 1980s, instances of male narcissism were largely ignored and considered contemptible.

“Before the 1980s, men labored on the production lines or the front lines — producing things or killing things or reproducing things on the family front,” Simpson explained. “But they did not do these things to earn money to go shopping — they didn’t buy things for themselves. It was the woman’s role to go shopping. It was the man’s role to earn money

to give to the woman to go shopping.”

Study old ads and you’ll see that advertisers almost universally targeted female consumers.

Until people began putting off marriage and getting divorced more frequently, that is.

“In a post-industrial and post-marital world, the institutions that produced our sense of identity in the past are no longer what they were,” he explained. “That means we can be exploited by commercialism because we’re more anxious. Men lead increasingly single lives and can’t rely on women to give them their identity as they did in the past.”

It was in the infamous ‘80s when, as Simpson noted with dry wit the Brits are famous for, advertisers decided that “it wouldn’t do to have half of the population not go shopping.”

“In the 1980s, suddenly in Britain there were a number of glossy magazines aimed toward men that never existed before,” he continued.

These magazines tried a variety of formats to entice male shoppers, but it wasn’t until the “lad mags” of the early

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 12, 2004

yle Tompkins, owner of La Dolce Vita salon and spa downtown, makes his living as a hairdresser.

With closely cropped and carefully mussed hair, the thin 38-year-old is, on a recent day, dressed in a colorful, graphic print, snugly fitting T-shirt and black trousers with red pinstripes. His skin is perfect; his nails, carefully trimmed. But he’s not gay, and don’t even think about calling him a metrosexual.

“It’s too loose of a depiction of a male to begin with,” he says at mention of the recently fashionable term. “It’s a tofu word. It’s just what fits to create a genre.”

Metrosexual is a term coined by British writer Mark Simpson whose many articles (detailed on his Web site, www.marksimpson.com) identify those falling into the category as young men with money to spend and who live in close proximity of a major city because that’s where the best shopping, restaurants and other “necessities” are. The candidate’s sexual orientation, Simpson says, is immaterial because the only person a metrosexual truly loves is himself.

“Of course, the hetero-metro is the only one anyone’s really interested in right now,” Simpson said during a recent phone interview from his home in London.

According to Tompkins and fellow hairdresser Mario Enriquez, 29, it’s the “sex” part of metrosexual that they have problems with.

“If you just add the connotation ‘sexual’ to anything, people go ‘Hey, hey hey. I’m straight,’” Tompkins said, holding up his hands in mock protest. “For me, it’s because of my lifestyle, my dress and my nature. It’s nothing sexual. I’m not dressing for attraction.”

“I don’t think it has anything to do with my sexuality,” Enriquez agreed. “Some men happen to be really particular about their hygiene and people have put a label on it. I’m not happy with any of the opinions I’ve heard and I don’t like to be labeled like that.”

And they’re not the only ones who dislike the M-word. The term and all it implies seems to have, like so many television shows, finally jumped the shark and toppled from its fashionable and popular perch. Mention “metrosexual” almost anywhere and the reaction is invariably the same: sighing, eyerolling and head-shaking all indicate that people are sick to death of the new way of classifying men.

Even Simpson, in a recent Salon.com article called “MetroDaddy Speaks!,” seems to be taking a step back, stating that he’s relieved when others don’t attribute the word to him. He’s reportedly even apologized for

k c a B

continued from page 19 has been given the pink slip because it didn’t shop enough.”

The concept, he recently explained in a Salon.com interview (with himself, natch), grew from his book of essays called “Male Impersonators” that came out that same year.

This is the same book, by the way, in which Simpson was the first to dissect the Tom Cruise movie “Top Gun” as a carefully veiled piece of homosexual erotica — an argument Quentin Tarantino pondered (as an actor) in the movie “Sleep With Me”.

It was chapters like “Sex Hunters: The ‘Homosexual’ Male Heterosexual Economy,” “Narcissus Goes Shopping: Homoeroticism and “Narcissism in Men’s Advertising” and “Dragging It Up and Down: The Glamorized Male Body” that gave rise to the now infamous term.

Then along came David Beckham who, up until recently, was a member of the hallowed Manchester United soccer team. With almost daily hairstyle changes, nail polish, everincreasing tattoos and flamboyant lifestyle, Becks (as he’s known in England) seemed more like a rock star than a typical footballer and the British public loved him.

“David Beckham is a footballer and footballers are, in this county, considered working class heroes,” Simpson said of his frequent target. “It’s not an individual sport. It’s not a platform for your own personal histrionics which is what David Beckham has turned it into, and Manchester United helped create this monster.”

A monster with lucrative endorsement deals and who is now part of the Posh-Becks phenomenon after his marriage to Victoria Adams, aka Posh Spice. On one of a number of Beckham’s fan sites, there is a group of pictures of the scantily-clad couple in highly suggestive poses. In the photos, they’re never looking at each other (their eyes are either closed or looking at the camera), and it’s hard to tell whether they’re actually a couple or the ultimate accessory each uses to complement their own beauty. It is something that astonishes even Simpson.

“Even I couldn’t predict the rise of someone like David Beckham,” he said. “I wouldn’t have dared predict that.”

Becks may be the archetype, but there are a number of celebrities — including Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt — who aren’t lagging that far behind. Surprised that such paragons of masculinity make this list? You shouldn’t be, Simpson says.

“I take exception with one person who

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wrote that a metrosexual is any man who is in touch with his feminine side. I disagree,” he said. “Metrosexuals are not necessarily sensitive guys.”

Exhibit A has to be Patrick Bateman, the main character in the 2000 movie “American Psycho” based on Bret Easton Ellis’ book.

Bateman is a stockbroker by day and something a good deal more sinister by night, but still has time to painstakingly explain his skincare regimen and the reasons behind it.

He’s single and has a lot of money, which he spends on anything expensive — clothes, meals, apartment and car.

“A metrosexual could be a ‘Maxim’ reader,” Simpson said, “or he could be that guy in ‘American Psycho.’ He’s not a guy getting in touch with his feminine side — he’s a serial killer.”

He was, however, probably the first blatant onscreen depiction of a metrosexual Americans saw.

“Richard Gere in ‘American Gigolo’ — that kind of introduced a different kind of male, but ‘American Psycho?’” Tompkins agrees. “I had never seen a man depicted like that before.”

It’s All Downhill From Here So how did metrosexual go from being the latest in “it” words to the object of scorn?

Partially from overexposure. “It’s been turned into a marketing technique and that’s the part of this that is the most funny because it was a term that I used to satirize consumerism,” Simpson said.

Ads and shows like “Queer Eye” have oversaturated the market, leading to online editorials with titles like “Die Metrosexual Die” and a skewering on an episode of “South Park.” But there is also a growing backlash among metrosexual candidates.

“You start pointing fingers at people, labeling them, and they’re going to do their best to go in the opposite direction,” Tompkins said.

And how, says Enriquez, can you label a guy like him? Sure, he’s a hairdresser who likes to dress well, adorn his body with piercings and tattoos and, generally, take care of himself. But he was also raised on a farm in the area (he’s lived here all his life), was a pipefitter and welder for about eight years and “loves to make things and be outdoors.” Does that sound like a metrosexual?

To both Enriquez and Tompkins, it’s more a matter of cleanliness. Both admit to having perfectionist fathers and Enriquez also cites

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his upbringing in a mostly female household.

“A lot of people get confused with me but I don’t mind,” he said. “A lot of gay guys have a tendency to do cleaner things and I do too. I was brought up around a bunch of women.”

That cleanliness extends not only to himself, but to his home in Harlem as well. Enriquez matches his clothes by color and stacks them neatly, vacuums constantly and you won’t find any dirty dishes in the sink — ever.

Like Simpson’s definition of a metrosexual, both Enriquez and Tompkins take personal care seriously. Enriquez takes 20-minute showers, gives himself manicures and pedicures and counsels other men to indulge in these kinds of treatments as well.

“A friend told me he turned down a father’s day gift of a pedicure and I told him it was the worst mistake he ever made because it feels so good,” he laughed.

Tompkins said he too takes advantage of a vast array of new products targeting men.

“Now they have skincare products for men and I don’t want wrinkles and I don’t want my eyes to look like crap,” he said. “But I also race bicycles. It’s all part of a healthy regimen.”

Because of their habits, both say they are often mistaken for gay. “When I was in high school, the rednecks would say ‘You’re a fag’ and the girls would say, ‘No, he looks British,’” Tompkins laughed.

“At first it kind of perturbed me,” Enriquez added, “but now it doesn’t bother me.”

What does bother them is the label on something that, at least to Tompkins, just seems like a natural evolution.

“You used to have blue collar and white collar,” he explained. “Now there’s another classification of man that’s not industrial or professional. He just chooses a more casual lifestyle. It’s a new era debonair.”

DESSERTS 32 Delicious

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I Married a Metrosexual

By Eve Smith

stares of both men and women. Though we now lived in a small town with no decent shopping to speak of, his urban sensibilities had not escaped him.

In an effort to “save himself” from the dregs of department store shopping, he had become, in addition to a metrosexual, what I fondly refer to as a cybersexual, taking great pride in spending hours surfing the web and shopping via the Internet. I suppose that you can take the man out of the city, but you can’t take the city out of the man.

So, I thought, if the common day metrosexual looked to corporate America to shape his persona, finding and then emulating his image from “lad mags” like “GQ” and “Esquire,” what was wrong with that?

Women had dealt with this for years; now it was the men’s turn. Would I rather my husband resemble many of my girlfriends’ husbands who looked like yuppies with hunting guns and washed-up frat boys? After all, he had come from a single-parent family and grew up with three older sisters and a very fashion-conscious mother. Should it bother me that instead of going fishing, he gained his pleasure from fine wine and alphabetizing his au courant jazz CD collection? Or that he keeps his nails clipped and manicured, moisturizes and can give me fashion advice when I need it? At last I realized that none of these habits affected my husband’s sexuality or virility, it just made him far more fun to look at in his CK boxer briefs. It was also nice knowing that my husband was not in need of the Fab Five’s weekly lifestyle and fashion tips given to the often schleppy fashion-policed protagonist on “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.” I’m convinced, besides his normal G-A-T-C chromosomes, my husband also has YSL and Prada encoded in his genetic make-up.

He may not be quite as romantic as the metrosexual stereotype suggests or as narcissistic (not yet perhaps having caught a glimpse of himself in the nearest pond), but he is all the man and husband that I’ll ever need or want. In fact, the only downside to discovering all of this is that instead of him showering only me with the latest fashions and accessories, we each have our equal share and blame in the credit card bills that come at the end of the month. All of this has left me pondering one very important question: is metrosexuality hereditary?

Should we one day have children, will I eventually have to second-mortgage my home to keep both my husband and son clad in the latest designer digs?

In the meantime, should you find yourself asking if you too are married to a metrosexual consider this question: if you’ve recently run out of your favorite facial cleanser or clear nail polish and found yourself heading to your husband’s vanity to “borrow” his, then you undoubtedly have.

Never fear though; to know one is to definitely love one and to love one is to also shop with one. And that, my friends, is when the real fun begins.

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I suppose I should have a lifted an eyebrow when my then-boyfriend suggested that we visit his gym for a late-night workout at midnight, or when seeing that his shoe collection, lined up neatly in his closet like mini vintage cars, rivaled not only mine, but any other woman I knew, aside from Imelda Marcos. Perhaps those were my first clues that perhaps he wasn’t like any of the countless men I’d dated in the past. A whirlwind courtship, co-habitation, marriage — it would be years before I knew my husband was a “flaming” metrosexual.

In fact, it was after we’d relocated to a small Southern town conveniently located two to three hours from several booming metropoli that I even encountered the word itself. The signs had always been there: a keen eye for the latest fashions, a fetish for shoes and facial products and the physique of a Calvin Klein underwear model.

However, I thought that’s how all men should look, not realizing that the metrosexual phenomenon fueled by both American consumerism and the commidification of men like Tom Cruise would eventually find its way into my home and that I’d be sleeping next to pop culture’s latest “boy toy” invention every night.

It was during one of those long afternoon lunches with the girls, Pinot Grigio making its abundant rounds around the table one too many times, that the word was uttered for the first time. My girlfriends had always complimented me on my husband’s looks, fashion sense and well-cut biceps, but as the plate of calamari made one final round, my girlfriend, half-inebriated, turned to me and said, “You know Eve, Guy is nothing more than a metrosexual.”

“A what?” I retorted. The inquisition began almost immediately, questions being shot at me from everyone simultaneously.

“Does he like to shop?” “Does he cook better than you?” “Does he use men’s facial products?” And the worst of the worse: “Does he shave his body hair?”

Yikes, I thought. Here I was, one of the most cosmopolitan of my friends, having lived in big cities, being somewhat taken aback by both the word and the implications it had on my husband’s sexual orientation. But I was forced to answer each of their questions in the affirmative.

Once they assured me it didn’t mean he wasn’t straight, they wanted to know when he could come over and give their husbands pointers. I spent the rest of the lunch in a daze, my mind reeling from all of the questions and accusations.

I raced home to my computer and searched Google for the term metrosexual (which I am now aware receives more than 25,000 hits per day). To my surprise, I found the answers to the questions I’d been looking for to categorize my husband and his predilections for looking “urban chic” as I’d often referred to him for many years. The signs were unmistakable. In the course of an afternoon, my husband had been “outed” as the smooth skinned buff-boy, the Banana Republic poster child, who often received the

— Eve Smith is a local freelance writer

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BITE Aphrodisiac Attack!

By Amy Fennell Christian

I

f the word “aphrodisiac” makes you cringe and think of the notorious kitchen scene in “9 1/2 Weeks” between Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger, then Valentine’s Day is probably not one of your favorite days of the year.

Nonetheless, “amateur night,” as one local restaurateur recently called it, is upon us.

People who otherwise never treat their sweethearts to a romantic evening go all out with dinner at a fancy restaurant and all the accompaniments to set the stage for a more intimate celebration later on.

But before you order that bottle of expensive champagne or pick a menu based on foods with supposed aphrodisiac properties, check this out first.

oysters) and those whose reputations are based on legends. Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of beauty and love, was born of sea foam, which is why seafood items are considered aphrodisiacs.

Whatever the reasons, there is a long list of food items purported to have an amorous affect on people, some of which are a little surprising. For the most complete list we found, visit www.cookingcouple.com.

Mood Killers Alcohol lowers inhibitions, right? So, you might be thinking, what better way to set the stage for romance than with a glass of bubbly or a few fancy cocktails.

Well, think again.

Alcohol, as it turns out, actually inhibits sexual function and desire, making it harder (pardon the pun) for both men and women to reach … well, you know. Add nicotine to that list as well.

And while we’re on the subject of things to avoid, there are certain foods that can put a damper on the evening, such as anything with too much fiber. Think frequent trips to the bathroom are sexy?

Not so much.

Anything else?

“Yeah,” our restaurateur said. “For Valentine’s Day, I would say hamburgers and French fries.”

Antlers (ground) Donuts Frog Legs Good N’ Plenty candy Tiger (all — and we do mean all — parts)

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METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 12, 2004

Aphrodisiacs: Fact or Fiction?

So is their any truth to the notion that certain foods stimulate sexual desires?

Well, it depends on who you ask.

According to the Food and Drug Administration (FDA), there is no proof that food is a cure for sexual problems. But foodies insist that certain foods can put you in the mood.

“It’s all about the mood, the circumstances and the occasion,” the local chef we talked to said. “Maybe they all have something in common like a vitamin. They could call it Vitamin O.” Certain foods, like chocolate, have caffeine and phenylethylamine (PEA), a brain chemical that supposedly causes the same feelings that being in love arouses.

Chilis, on the other hand, increase heart rate, make you sweat and cause your face to flush — things that also happen when

Most Bizarre Aphrodisiacs Chocolate-covered strawberries are so yesterday, but your Valentine will be impressed that you made the effort to ferret out these odd aphrodisiacs. Or s/he might just think you’ve gone insane.

Oddest Aphrodisiac Recipe Straight from the “Kama Sutra” is this really, really strange recipe. Get your conversion chart and centrifuge out for this one.

“Great food is like great sex. The more you have, the more you want.”

— Gael Greene

you’re engaged in a certain other activity.

There are the aphrodisiacs that got their

reputation because of what the FDA calls “the law of similarity” (think bananas and

Kama Sutra Shake 1 Tbsp. clarified butter 1 tsp. honey 1 tsp. licorice powder 150 ml milk 150 ml fennel Wash and dry fennel. Centrifuge to obtain 150 ml of liquid. Heat butter until it froths and skim with a muslin filter. Combine everything in a blender and process. Serves two.

The Coolest Valentine’s Gift Ever If you’re one of those people that thinks that food plus sex equals a super-cheesy movie, buy “InterCourses: An Aphrodisiac Cookbook” and give the subject a second chance.

The book, by Martha Hopkins and Randall Lockridge, is part cookbook and part coffee-table book (that you might have to hide if your parents come to visit). The semi-nude portraits of both men and women are fantastic; especially striking is one featured on their Web site homepage (www.intercourses.com) of a woman wearing nothing but a “grass” skirt made of asparagus spears.

Oh yeah, and the recipes don’t sound half bad either.

in the mix Augusta resident for …

11 years Strange Twist of Fate Jill, a native Texan, recently graduated from Augusta State University with a major in history.

Working at Metro until she decides on a graduate school (she’s looking at USC-Columbia, UGA and UT-Austin), she got the job on a good word from her brother, Chad, a former Metro bartender who’s now back in Texas.

What she likes best about living in Augusta …

I would have to say the people, the friends that I’ve made. I mean, Columbia is an hour away, Charleston is close, Atlanta is close and as far as nightlife, shopping and restaurants, they’re better equipped, but the people here are very nice.

When she grows up, she wants to be …

A university history professor.

Three things in her car right now are …

CDs, shoes and a blanket I just brought back from (a trip to) Mexico.

Photo by Joe White

Spare time activities I like to read and I like to enjoy nature. I like to get out in the woods and walk around. There’s actually a little nature trail out by my house and I’ll go out there and walk around.

Jill

The last time she did something she was afraid of was …

When I was down in Mexico, we were in the Cayman Islands and went swimming with stingrays.

They told us we couldn’t touch their tails or backs and I got really, really scared because they were all over the place and I was afraid I was going to step on one. You kind of have to shuffle your feet. It ended up being really, really fun.

Where is your favorite place to travel and why?

Actually Europe, I have to say, because the people are really, really nice and really, really interesting to talk to. You meet so many people from so many different places.

What is your drink of choice?

Water, because it’s good for you.

What is the oddest thing you’ve ever witnessed after midnight?

It was probably when I was traveling and saw a guy get into a barroom fight and get beat over the head with a bottle. I saw the police drive up and throw him down on the ground right in front of me.

You are happiest when you …

When I’m on vacation and I’m not at work.

Augusta needs …

More culture, of all kinds, in downtown.

Cole

Bartender, Metro A Coffeehouse

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ART S The Dark Imagery of Art Werger

By Rhonda Jones

FROM THE “TIME FRAMES” SERIES, LEFT TO RIGHT: “2 AM DETROIT,” 4 AM NEW YORK,” “6 AM NEW ORLEANS” AND “12 NOON CLEVELAND.”

O

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METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 12, 2004

nce upon a time, Art Werger stayed up late, watching.

Taking photographs.

Etching the feelings of things into his mind. Retrieving them in the studio. Making prints.

These days, he said, he needs his sleep a bit more, but his prints still carry that same atmospheric flavor.

“I like the mystery of the night. And physically the way I work is to start with a dark surface and pull the light out of the dark. It seems to work well with night imagery. It’s sort of film noir.”

You will get the opportunity to see his work at the Mary Pauline Gallery in downtown Augusta, where he’ll be showing his “Still Pictures” and “Time Frames” series.

“And both of those are series of square images like ‘Continuum,’ but with different themes and approaches.”

The “Continuum” series, by the way, is a series that has passed through Augusta before. It and the other two series are mezzotints. Werger was kind enough to include on his Web site at www.wergerprint.com a description of the process.

According to the site, a tool called a rocker is used to make lines on a copper plate until the surface turns black. Then the artist draws on the plate with scraping tools to make white images. Then the plate is inked and used to make prints.

He said that “Timeframes” depicts different cities — and different themes as well — throughout the United States at each hour of the day. Different hour, different city. Yet they came from photographs he’s taken over a span of years.

When you peruse his Web site, you will notice certain repeating imagery, like rain, nighttime, birdseye views and the urban

landscape. Werger said that, though he tends to work in terms of series, he doesn’t do that in a linear fashion.

“I bounce back and forth quite a bit so each one of these themes tends to recur over the years,” he said.

“Still Pictures,” he said, is the most recent series. The images are 3 inches square, in 6by-6-inch frames, and are put together as a sort of little game between himself and the viewer. They will fit on a crossword puzzletype grid, and have very simple titles to suggest meaning. They will each cover an entire wall.

The “stories” perceived depend on the physical direction on the grid that the viewer follows, as well as the viewer him- or herself.

“I’m providing the raw material,” he said.

“It’s a free-flowing, open-ended narrative.”

He said it’s quite a challenge telling stories with two-dimensional images only. “It doesn’t provide easily for (having a) beginning, middle and end.”

To compensate for that, he said, he keeps things a bit vague so that viewers will pull from their own experiences in order to read the pieces.

I told him his pieces were moody, and asked him what he thought about that. “I don’t know how intentional that is, really,” he said. “I like to deal with images that are atmospheric, so I guess that atmosphere is mood, and I tend to work toward the dark range. ... So I’m not sure how overt that is, but it’s definitely there, sure.”

I tend to ask creative types, whether interviewing or simply speaking with them, about their inspiration. “Oh, all sorts of things,” Werger said. “Communication, trying to share experiences to use art and visual images as a means of connection — so if I see something that interests me ... to try to

convey, to share that experience.”

The challenge in choosing, he said, lies in picking an image that transcends itself in a matter of speaking, so that it is usable by the general public, even though it’s a highly specific image. “Any given view is only experienced by one person at one moment,” he said, “but the language of the visual arts is to choose moments that speak of something larger.”

“They transcend the moment and become something metaphoric about the human experience,” he added. “So while I used to think of myself strictly as a realist — showing something that looks real isn’t good enough; it’s just mundane. It has to have other levels of meaning.”

Just as some artists are inspired by ideas, he is inspired by images, he said. “And sometimes it’s really hard to say what it is about a particular picture that is intriguing,” he said. “There has to be something about it that I want to spend time with. When I work on something, it can take up to three months of time.”

Some of the images he has become fascinated by are birdseye shots of urban landscapes. I had to ask him how that happened.

“Well, I started by taking a lot of aerial photos when flying. I made sure I had a window seat.”

And when he reached his destinations, he said, he often sought out the tallest buildings. After studying this perspective for a while, he said, he gradually learned to adapt scenes to that point of view.”

He said that those particular works started out as abstract. “So it was a formal compositional device. But I really started seeing it as a narrative.”

The scenery off the edge of the building, he said, was the stage, and the characters

were unaware. He thinks of himself as a sort of omnicient narrator.

The works are infused with tension, a fact that the artist himself brought up when he confided, “I’ve always had a fear of heights.”

That tension is present also in his underwater series in which he depicts swimmers seen from ... well, from under the water. “So there’s this certain fear of drowning. It’s phobic as well as voyeuristic. And there’s a certain claustrophobic level to those too.”

I asked what he considers the most important thing he teaches his art students.

“Ultimately, you want the students to develop their own voice, but the process of being a student is often imitation and learning who you are through following your heroes.

“I guess the main thing I try to instill in them is the idea of dedication, that their point of view, their voice, is important and only by being dedicated to their work will they allow it to find its maturity.”

Artist: Art Werger Reception: Feb. 20, 5-8 p.m.

Exhibition: Feb. 20-March 27 Venue: The Mary Pauline Gallery Reason: Because art is cool.

Phone: (706) 724-9542 E-mail: molly@marypaulinegallery.com Web: www.wergerprint.com, www.marypaulinegallery.com

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METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 12, 2004

relationship? You

27

arts

Three Theatre Companies Strut Their Stuff

N

o less than three engaging plays are set to open next week, so you are going to have to make some decision about what to do in order to quench your thirst for theatre. You can go to Aiken for “It Runs in the Family,” to Fort Gordon for “Noises Off” or stay in Augusta for “Guernica.”

ASU Drama Department You may be struck by the fact that you’ve never heard of the play “Guernica.” That means it’s fresh. Director Paige Willson, who is an instructor of communications at ASU, knows about it because the playwright, Cody Daigle, is a friend of hers. “He’s a native of Louisiana, like myself,” she said.

“He says that people move into his head and they start talking and he writes down what they say. So out comes these wonderful works.”

That explains the premise of the play.

“It’s about a young artist who’s trying to discover how to become a great artist,” Willson said. Conversations with strangers, she said, help him along his way. She didn’t mention at first that some of those strangers are actually the characters in Pablo Picasso’s painting, “Guernica,” and the famous painter himself.

Matt Schlieff, assistant professor of communication and scenic and lighting designer, said that the bombing of Guernica (the subject of the famous painting) will be reenacted as well.

“This is one of the few times that planes flying over the P.A.T.

By Rhonda Jones

(Performing Arts Theatre) will sound appropriate.”

The crew of the ASU production has planned an exercise in immersion. As soon as you walk into the building, the experience begins.

“ASU students from Janice Williams’ drawing class will have their art exhibited in the lobby,” Schlieff said. Some of it will even be for sale. And two of his sculptures will be on display as well.

In addition to that, local artist Russ Bonin has painted a copy of “Guernica” on a scrim. It’s pretty impressive, and will be rented out to other theatre companies in the future.

Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre Those of you who follow the Arts & Entertainment section of Metro Spirit may have done a double-take upon seeing the title “Noises Off” appearing anywhere on this page. That would be because I’ve already written about it many times.

Well, now Fort Gordon is doing it. I asked director Steve Walpert why he chose to go ahead with such a production, given that other drama companies have already visited the script over the past year.

“We have produced this show before, and have had many requests to put it back on the stage,” he said. “When Aiken Community Playhouse announced their production, I already had the show on my season and had secured rights for the Augusta production. I gave consideration to substituting another show, but felt that we had enough audience in the immediate

28

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 12, 2004

THIS IS A MURAL-SIZED COPY OF PICASSO’S “GUERNICA,” PAINTED BY AUGUSTA’S OWN RUSS BONIN FOR THE ASU PRODUCTION OF THE SAME NAME.

LEFT TO RIGHT: TERRY NEWTON, TERE LUKE, DANA HUGHES AND BETTY WALPERT IN REHEARSAL FOR A TUMULTUOUS ACT III IN “NOISES OFF.” vicinity to support the show without jeopardizing sales. Ticket sales are going great, so that turned out to be true.”

For those of you who don’t know what “Noises Off” is about, Walpert puts the plot in a nutshell. “Essentially,” he said, “the play is about a hapless British touring company that never quite manages to pull their act together. It starts out at their disastrous dress rehearsal and follows them through three frantic months on the road.”

Everything that could possibly go wrong does, including and especially the randiness of the players. Walpert says, however, that nothing inappropriate actually gets to happen. “There is no crude language, and nothing happens on stage when it comes to the area of sex. Some things are implied in a lighthearted way, and most attempts at an assignation are thwarted by comical circumstances unique to this genre.”

I asked if there were any blooper stories. “There are six plates of sardines constantly going on and off stage, more than 50 entrances and exits through seven slamming doors (a la Marx Brothers), four bouquets of flowers each used differently, about 15 additional hand props, a giant twostory set that must rotate 360 degrees, nine performers — most playing two characters — and two plays happening simultaneously in Act II. Of course we have no bloopers!”

Aiken Community Playhouse In addition, Aiken Community Playhouse are performing Ray Cooney’s “It Runs in the Family,” yet another British farce. Online sources describe a scene in which a presumably respected doctor is rehearsing a speech for a prestigious lecture for a conference of neurosurgeons which could conceivably lead to his being knighted. An old flame bursts in, “hotly pursued” by her son, who could also be his. The police are hot on the flame’s and the son’s trail because the boy has apparently been caught driving with too much blood in his alcohol system. There are mistaken identities and deception galore.

A few highlights of the play are reportedly crashing wheelchairs, doctors in nurse drag and squirting seltzer bottles.

Production: “Guernica” by Cody Daigle

Production: “Noises Off” by Michael Frayn

Company: ASU Theatre Dates: Feb. 12-14, 8 p.m.; Feb. 15, 3 p.m.

Contact: (706) 737-1500

Company: Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre Dates: Feb. 13-14 (opening weekend sold out), Feb. 20-21, 26-28.

Contact: (706) 791-4389 or walperts@gordon.army.mil

Production: “It Runs in the Family”

by Ray Cooney Company: Aiken Community Theatre Dates: Feb. 20-21, 27-29, March 5-6 Contact: (803) 648-1438 www.aikencommunityplayhouse.com

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 12, 2004

29

Kids

Learning

Volunteers

Sports

Calendar Health

Education

Out of Town Music

Special

Benefits Meetings Theater Auditions Exhibitions Attractions MuseumsArts Seniors Dance Arts

world through song and movement. Call (803) 643-0460 for more information.

AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF THE UNITED STATES AMATEUR BALLROOM DANCERS ASSOCIATION holds a dance the first Saturday of each month, from 7:15-11 p.m. Cost is $7 for members and $10 for non-members. Held at the BPOE facility on Elkdom Court. Contact Melvis Lovett, 733-3890, or Jean Avery, 863-4186, for information.

Auditions “ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW” AUDITIONS 9 p.m.

Feb. 17 at Club Argos. Call 481-8829.

ENOPION THEATRE COMPANY is looking for volunteers to act, sing, sew, build and more for their new musical, “Creation.” Applications are available at www.imaryproductions.com or by calling (803) 442-9039.

Music BAND PRE-FESTIVAL CONCERT Feb. 23 at Davidson Fine Arts School. Tickets are $3 for adults and $2 for senior citizens and children under 5 and $1 for Davidson students. Call 823-6924, ext. 111.

SWEET ADELINES HARMONY RIVER CHORUS OPEN REHEARSAL for singers each Thursday at 7 p.m. at Church of Christ, 600 Martintown Rd. in North Augusta.

They are on the lookout for voices in the lower ranges.

Contact Mary Norman at (803) 279-6499.

AN EVENING OF CHAMPAGNE, DESSERT AND LOVE SONGS is to take place at the Etherredge Center at USC Aiken on Feb. 14 at 8 p.m. and will feature the Masterworks Chorale. Call (803) 641-3305 for more information.

Education ISRAELI DANCE WORKSHOP at the Augusta Jewish Community Center Sunday afternoons, 4-5 p.m. Open to teens and adults; no experience or partners are necessary. Cost is $2 per session, with the first session free.

For information or to schedule a pre-class beginner/refresher session, contact Jackie Cohen, 7389016.

LILI BANAN AND EDGUARDO DIAZ perform at the Feb. 24 installment of Tuesday’s Music Live noon at St. Paul’s Church. 722-3463.

PETER LIGHTFOOT performs a Lyceum Series Concert 7:30 p.m. Feb. 24 at Augusta State University’s Maxwell Performing Arts Theatre. 737-1444.

ART CLASSES AND WORKSHOPS are offered yearround at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art. Classes and workshops are open to toddlers through adults and feature instruction in drawing, painting, photography, pottery, weaving and sculpture. For a newsletter or detailed information on registering for classes at the Gertrude Herbert, call 722-5495. The Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art also offers educational tours; for information, contact the education director at the above telephone number.

ART CLASSES FOR CHILDREN AND ADULTS at the Art Factory. The Art Factory also has a homeschool program and scholarships are available. Programs include painting, pottery, pilates, hip hop and modern dance and more. Classes are held at the Art Factory, 418 Crawford Ave., or at the Augusta Jewish Community Center. Call 731-0008 for details.

Exhibitions ART WERGER exhibits at the Mary Pauline Gallery Feb. 20-March 27. Opening reception is Feb. 20, 5-8 p.m.

Call 724-9542.

BLACK STUDENT UNION GOSPEL EXTRAVAGANZA Feb. 22, 3 p.m., at the Maxwell Performing Arts Theatre. 7371492.

MAULDIN SERIES is presenting “Jin Hi Kim,” which features Korean instruments, at USC Aiken’s Etherredge Center. The presentation is on Feb. 12 at 7 p.m. Call (803) 641-3305 for tickets or more information.

AUGUSTA VOCALIST GALE LEVON PERFORMS AT THE GEORGIA MUSIC HALL OF FAME IN MACON FEB. 16.

“ANNE HEBEBRAND: CURRENT WORKS” on display at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art through March 12.

Call 722-5495.

“JACK SPENCER: PHOTOGRAPHS FROM NATIVE SOIL” will be on display at the Morris Museum of Art through Feb. 15. Call 724-7501 for information.

raboldgallery@bellsouth.net.

MASTERWORKS OF SOUTHERN ART tour on Feb. 15 at 3:30 p.m. Free admission. Contact Tania Beasley-Jolly at 724-7501 for more information.

Dance

PHOTOGRAPHIC WORKS BY SELLY GOODWIN will be on display in the art hall of Sacred Heart Cultural Center through Feb. 29. Call 826-4700 for more information.

OIL PAINTINGS BY KATHLEEN BRYAN will be on display at the Gibbs Memorial Library throughout February. 8631946.

“LET’S PLAY: PASTIMES FROM THE PAST” through Feb. 15 at the Augusta Museum of History. For more information, call 722-8454.

SWEETHEART BALL held by the Fort Gordon Sergeants Major Association on Feb. 14 at 6:30 p.m. at the Gordon Club on 19th St. Call 791-4140 for more information.

PAINTINGS BY MALAIKA FAVORITE will be on exhibit at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History through the end of February. For more information, call 7243576.

“BABY-BOOM DAYDREAMS: THE ART OF DOUGLAS BOURGEOIS” will be on exhibit at the Morris Museum of Art through Feb. 15. Call 724-7501 for information.

THE AUGUSTA INTERNATIONAL FOLK DANCE CLUB meets Thursday evenings at 7:30 p.m. No partners are needed and newcomers are welcome. Call 737-6299 for location and info.

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 12, 2004

KATHY CAUDILL exhibits in the Etherredge Center Galleries at USC-Aiken through Feb. 29. Call (803) 6413305 for additional information.

ANNUAL VALENTINE DANCE held by the MCG Sertoma Club and CSRA Shag Club will be held Feb. 13 from 8 p.m.-12:30 a.m. at the Julian Smith Casino. Please contact Penny Saggus, 721-2605, for more information.

30

CERAMICS BY REBAKKAH ROSENBAUER will be on display at the Euchee Creek Branch Library during February. Call 556-9795 for details.

“DEANNE DUNBAR: OBJECTS OF DESIRE” will be on display at the Rabold Gallery in Aiken through Feb. 14.

For more information, call (803) 641-4405 or e-mail

THE DANCES OF UNIVERSAL PEACE held the first Saturday of every month, 7-9 p.m., at the Unitarian Church of Augusta, honor the religious traditions of the

MUSIC AT THE MORRIS: The ASU Jazz Ensemble plays Jazz Monuments, focusing on African-American jazz greats such as Duke Ellington, Thelonious Monk and others on Feb. 15 at 2 p.m. Contact Tania Beasley-Jolly at 724-7501 for more information.

CHOIR/JAZZ ENSEMBLE CONCERT at ASU’s Maxwell Performing Arts Theater on Feb. 17 at 8 p.m. Admission is free. Contact Kathy Schofe at 737-1878 for more information.

WIND ENSEMBLE/ORCHESTRA CONCERT at ASU’s Maxwell Performing Arts Theater on Feb. 18 at 8 p.m.

Admission is free. Contact Kathy Schofe at 737-1878 for more information.

ASU CHOIRS CONCERT on Feb. 19 at 7 p.m. at St. Mark United Methodist Church. Choirs are directed by Dr. Bill Hobbins. Call 737-1453 for more information.

Theater “LAST OF THE RED HOT LOVERS” will be presented by Stage III at 7 p.m. Feb. 26-28 and 3 p.m. Feb. 29 at the Augusta Jewish Community Center in Evans.

Reservations are required for dinner theatre performances. Call 228-3636 or 868-9663 for tickets and information.

“THE GIRLS ARE BACK IN TOWN” with Chonda Pierce and Sandi Patty at the Bell Auditorium has been post-

poned until March 29. Call 1-800-965-9324 for information and ticket prices.

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“ANNIE GET YOUR GUN” will be at the Abbeville Opera House Feb. 12-14 and 20-21. Matinee performances are Feb. 14 and 21 at 3 p.m. Call (864) 459-2157 for ticket information.

“GUERNICA” will be at the Maxwell Performing Arts Theatre Feb. 12-14 at 8 p.m., and Feb. 15 at 3 p.m. $10 for adults, $7 for seniors, $5 for students and free for ASU students. For ticket information, call 737-1500.

1987-2002

“THREE LITTLE PIGS” to be presented by the ASU Born to Read Literacy and Patchwork Players at ASU’s Maxwell Performing Arts Theater on Feb. 16 at 9, 10 and 11 a.m. Call 733-7043 for more information.

“NOISES OFF” will be performed at Fort Gordon’s Dinner Theater Feb. 13-28. Dinner is served at 7 p.m. and the show begins at 8 p.m. Call 791-4389 for more information.

2856 Washington Rd. 73-STEAK 1654 Gordon Hwy. 796-1875

Attractions

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MOTORIZED TOURS OF HISTORIC AIKEN every Saturday, 10-11:30 a.m. Tours leave from the Washington Center for the Performing Arts. Reservations are required, and patrons must be age 2 and older.

(803) 642-7631.

You are invited to

AUGUSTA CANAL INTERPRETIVE CENTER: Housed in Enterprise Mill, the center contains displays and models focusing on the Augusta Canal’s functions and importance to the textile industry. Hours are Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m. and Sun., 1-6 p.m. Admission is $5 adult, $4 seniors and military and $3 children ages 6-18.

Children under 6 admitted free. Guided boat tours of the Augusta Canal depart from the docks at Enterprise Mill at 11 a.m., 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m. Saturdays and Tuesdays and Thursdays at 11 a.m. and 1:30 p.m. Tour tickets are $6 adults, $5 seniors and $4 students and children. For tour information, call 823-7089. For other info, visit www.augustacanal.com or call 823-0440.

THE BOYHOOD HOME OF WOODROW WILSON: Circa 1859 Presbyterian manse occupied by the family of President Woodrow Wilson as a child during the Civil War and Reconstruction. Original and period antiques, restored house, kitchen and carriage house. 419 Seventh Street. Open 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Tues.-Sat. Tours available; groups of 10 or more by appointment only.

Admission is $5 adults, $4 seniors, $3 students under 18 and free for ages 5 and under. 722-9828.

AUGUSTA GOLF & GARDENS OF THE GEORGIA GOLF HALL OF FAME features beautiful display gardens, as well as bronze sculptures of some of golf’s greatest masters. Available for rent for a variety of functions.

Group discount rates available. Closed Mondays; open from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Tues.-Sat.; open from 1-5 p.m. on Sunday. Admission is $5.50 for adults; $4.50 for students, seniors and military; $3.50 for children (4-12); free for children 3 and under. Sundays are two for one with a Super Sunday coupon. Annual garden memberships are available. Call 724-4443 or 1-888-874-4443.

Also, visit their Web site at www.gghf.org.

University Hospital Heart disease is the number one killer of American women, claiming more than 500,000 lives each year. As women, we need to retool our lives, and a Women’s HeartAdvantage™ Health Fair is the perfect place to begin. We’ll provide the education, encouragement and support to empower you to embark on a healthier lifestyle – and all of it is absolutely free. We hope you’ll put your heart into it.

We have.

NATIONAL SCIENCE CENTER’S FORT DISCOVERY: Children and adults alike can immerse themselves in the wonders of science through live demonstrations, virtual realities, Starlab, KidScape and more than 250 hands-on exhibits. General Admission: $8 for adults; $6 for children, seniors and active military. Group rates available.

Operating hours: Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sunday, noon-5 p.m. Call 821-0200, 1-800-325-5445 or visit their Web site at www.NationalScienceCenter.org.

REDCLIFFE STATE HISTORIC SITE: 1859 mansion of S.C. Governor James Henry Hammond, held by the family for three generations until 1975. Grounds and slave quarters are open Thursday-Monday, 9 a.m.-6 p.m.

House tours will be offered at 1, 2 and 3 p.m. Admission to the grounds is free. Fee for house tours is $3 for adults and children ages 6-17. For more information, call (803) 827-1473. 181 Redcliffe Road, Beech Island.

SACRED HEART CULTURAL CENTER is offering tours of its 100-year-old building. Mon.-Fri., 9 a.m.-5 p.m. $1 per person, children free. 826-4700.

THE EZEKIEL HARRIS HOUSE: Deemed “the finest 18th century house surviving in Georgia” by the “Smithsonian Guide to Historic America.” Open Saturday, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. General admission is $2; senior admission is $1 and children get in for 50 cents. For more information, call 724-0436.

Health Fair

HEALTH FAIR ACTIVITIES INCLUDE: • Health risk assessments • Heart-healthy screenings • Information and coaching • Special gifts and door prizes Three Saturdays Three convenient locations 11 a.m. until 3 p.m.

Saturday, Feb. 14 Dillard’s, Augusta Mall Saturday, Feb. 21 Dillard’s, Aiken Mall

For more information, call 706/828-2828, call toll free at 1/866/601-2828 or log on to universityhealth.org.

Saturday, Feb. 28 Dillard’s, National Hills

Take care. Take charge. Take heart.

Supported through an educational grant from

31

VALENTINE SUNSET CRUISE ON THE AUGUSTA CANAL on Feb. 14, 5:30-6:30. Couples will cruise the Augusta

HeartAdvantage™

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 12, 2004

HISTORIC COTTON EXCHANGE WELCOME CENTER: Open Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m.; Sun. 1-5 p.m.

Riverwalk. Free. Call 724-4067.

Women’s

Canal on the new Petersburg boat from the Enterprise Mill dock. Cost is $30 per couple, reservations required.

For more information, call 823-7089.

Museums TERRA COGNITA: Contemporary Artists Lecture Series featuring Kevin Cole, explores the relationship between color and music, particularly African-American music.

Presentation begins at 7 p.m. Feb. 19. 724-7501 “CONVERSATIONS: LOOKING AT AFRICAN-AMERICAN ART” at the Morris Museum of Art Feb. 26, 7 p.m. Lola Richardson and Audrey Crosby discuss the Morris’ collection of African-American art. Reception follows. Free for members , $3 for non-member adults and $2 for non-member seniors, students and military. 724-7501.

“THE ART OF MEDICAL ILLUSTRATION” Feb. 24, 6:30 p.m. at the Morris Museum of Art. Karen Klascsmann discusses the current display of medical illustrations on exhibit in the museum auditorium. Free admission for museum members and members of the AugustaRichmond County Historical Society. 724-7501.

BLACK HISTORY MONTH FRIDAY FLICKS at ASU’s Allgood Hall, room E257 from noon-2 p.m. Contact Amy Connell at 667-4807 for more information.

FREE FILM SERIES Mondays, 6:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Library. Feb. 16 showing of “American Splendor” and Feb. 23 showing of “Sweet Hereafter.”

Call 821-2600 for info.

MCDUFFIE FRIENDS OF ANIMALS holds pet adoptions each Saturday, 1-3 p.m. at Superpetz on Bobby Jones Expressway. Call 556-9090 or visit www.petfinder.com.

COLUMBIA COUNTY HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. and every Sunday from 1-4 p.m. at PetsMart. For more info, call 860-5020.

Theatre Company in Atlanta through Feb. 29. For tickets and information, call (404) 733-5000.

“FERDINAND THE BULL” will be presented by Alliance Children’s Theatre at the 14th Street Playhouse in Atlanta through March 7. Call (404) 733-4600 or visit www.alliancetheatre.org.

AT THE GEORGIA MUSEUM OF ART in Athens, Ga.: “Decorative Arts at Woodstock” through March. Visit www.uga.edu/gamuseum or call (706) 542-4662 for info.

AT THE HIGH MUSEUM OF ART in Atlanta: “The Undiscovered Richard Meier: The Architect as Designer and Artist” through April 4. Call (404) 733-HIGH or visit www.high.org for information.

CHAMPAGNE AND DIAMONDS, benefiting the American Heart Association, to take place on Feb. 14 at 7:30 p.m. at the Historic Richmond Hotel.

THE GERTRUDE HERBERT INSTITUTE OF ART in Ware’s Folly exhibits works by local and regional artists. Art classes, workshops and other educational programming for children, youth and adults are held in the WalkerMackenzie Studio. Open Tuesday-Friday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Saturday by appointment only. Admission is free, but a donation of $2 for adults and $1 for children and seniors is encouraged. Call 722-5495 or visit www.ghia.org for more info.

“A TASTE OF SOMETHING WILD,” a benefit for the Augusta Alzheimer’s Association, will feature the Augusta area’s largest wild-game tasting event and soiree on Mar. 6 from 5:30-8:30 p.m. at the Julian Smith Barbecue Pit on Lake Olmstead. For more information, contact Frank Spears at 860-1233.

Learning

THE AUGUSTA MUSEUM OF HISTORY hosts permanent exhibition “Augusta’s Story,” an award-winning exhibit encompassing 12,000 years of local history. For the younger crowd, there’s the Susan L. Still Children’s Discovery Gallery, where kids can learn about history in a hands-on environment. The museum also shows films in the History Theatre and hosts a variety of programs.

Located at 560 Reynolds Street. Open Tuesday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sunday 1-5 p.m. Admission is $4 adult, $3 seniors, $2 kids (6-18 years of age) and free for children under 6. Free admission on Sundays. Call 722-8454 or visit www.augustamuseum.org for more information.

POWERPOINT COMPUTER TRAINING Feb. 14 and 21, 14 p.m., at the Wallace Branch Library. 722-6275.

BOATING SAFETY AND SEAMANSHIP COURSE begins Feb. 24 and continues Tuesday and Thursday evenings through March 18 at the Augusta Port Authority Building.

Cost is $35. Contact Wade Hammer at 738-6446 or Robert Johnson at 832-6939 for information.

USC-AIKEN CONTINUING EDUCATION offers Paralegal Certificate Course, Taming the Wild Child, Conversational French, Italian, Spanish for the Beginner, Sign Language, Debt-Free Living and more. Travelearn learning vacations for adults and Education to Go online courses also available. For info, phone (803) 641-3563.

THE MORRIS MUSEUM OF ART hosts exhibitions and special events year-round. Open Tuesday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m., and Sundays, noon-5 p.m. Closed on Mondays and major holidays. 1 Tenth Street, Augusta.

Call 724-7501 or visit www.themorris.org for details.

Special Events FASHION AND TALENT SHOW AND DISCO Feb. 20, 8 p.m., for adults ages 25 and older at American Legion Post 212. Cost is $5 per person. Call (803) 642-7635.

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 12, 2004

GREYHOUND MEET AND GREET on Feb. 14, 11 a.m.-3 p.m. at PetSmart on Whiskey Rd. in Aiken. Greythound Love Greyhound Adoption, a local adoption group, invites the public to meet many retired racing greyhounds with an eye towards adoption. No on-site adoptions, but adoption applications will be made available. For more information, contact Jeanne McGee at 796-1708.

ASU HOMECOMING to take place Feb. 14. Admissions Open House from 1-3 p.m., in Washington Hall, Tailgate Party from 4-5:20 p.m. on the Christenberry Fieldhouse lawn, activities at 5:30 p.m. in the Christenberry Fieldhouse Mezzanine, followed by women’s basketball.

Contact Kathy Schofe at 737-1878 for more information.

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THE ROYAL HANNEFORD CIRCUS comes to Fort Gordon’s Barton Field Feb. 26-29. Tickets are $10 for those 13 and up, $5 for children 3-12 years old and free for children under 3. 791-6779.

AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL is in need of dog and cat food, cat litter and other pet items, as well as monetary donations to help pay for vaccinations. Donations accepted during regular business hours, Tues.-Sun., 1-5 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane.

Call 790-6836 for information.

AMERICAN RED CROSS BLOOD DRIVES at the Aiken Red Cross Blood Center on Millbrook Drive and the Augusta Red Cross Blood Center on Pleasant Home Road. The bloodmobile will also stop at various area locations this week. For a complete list, call the Aiken Blood Center at (803) 642-5180 or the Augusta Blood Center at 868-8800.

“ART AND HEALING” at the Morris Museum of Art will discuss the positive impact of the arts in the healing environment on Feb. 12 at 7 p.m. Admission is $3 for adults, $2 for seniors, students and military. 724-7501.

LUNCH AT NOON LECTURE SERIES held the second Wednesday of every month at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History, 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Call the museum at 724-3576 for more information.

AUGUSTA BALLET MERCEDES RAFFLE: The Augusta Ballet will raffle off a 2004 Mercedes CLK 320 Cabriolet during May’s First Friday celebration. Tickets are $100 each and may be purchased through the Ballet office at 261-0555.

SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER BLOOD DRIVES in various locations around the CSRA this month.

For detailed information on locations and times to donate, visit www.shepeardblood.org. You may also call Susan Edwards at (803) 643-7996 for information on Aiken locations and Nancy Szocinski at 737-4551 for information on all other locations.

ART AT LUNCH: Kevin Cole discusses the state of art education at noon Feb. 20 at the Morris Museum of Art. Boxed lunches are available, or you may bring your own brown bag lunch. Fee is $10 for members and $12 for non-members. Reservations required. 724-7501.

THE MUSEUM OF LAUREL AND HARDY OF HARLEM, GEORGIA features displays of various Laurel and Hardy memorabilia; films also shown. Located at 250 N. Louisville Street in downtown Harlem. Open 1-4 p.m.

Thursday-Monday. For more information, call 556-3448.

the Augusta Jewish Community Center, benefits the Golden Harvest Food Bank. Tickets are $15 per adult and $5 for children ages 2-10. For information, call 2283636.

CLIMBER ARCHER BELL PRESENTS A SLIDESHOW ON CLIMBING MOUNT RAINIER AT THE FEB. 17 SIERRA CLUB MEETING. RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL AND AUGUSTA ANIMAL RESCUE FRIENDS hold pet adoptions at Superpetz off Bobby Jones Expressway every Sunday from 1-4 p.m. Call AARF at 364-4747 or visit www.aarf.net. Adoptions also held at the Richmond County Animal Control Shelter, Tues.-Sun., 1-5 p.m. Call the shelter at 790-6836.

THE CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. and every Wednesday evening from 5:30-7:30 p.m. at the Pet Center located behind the GreenJackets Stadium on Milledge Rd. 261PETS. ASU EDUCATOR’S EXPO on Feb. 13 from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. in ASU’s Christenberry Fieldhouse. Any certified teachers, education majors from other colleges or any graduates interested in a career in teaching are encouraged to attend. Contact Kathy Schofe at 737-1878 for more information.

Out of Town ARBOR DAY CELEBRATION Feb. 20 at Mistletoe State Park in Appling, Ga. For more information, call (706) 541-0321.

SOUTHERN WOMEN’S SHOW at the Savannah International Trade and Convention Center Feb. 13-15.

Contact Beth Hughey at (800) 849-0248 for more information.

GEORGIA WILDLIFE FEDERATION FISH-A-RAMA at the Georgia National Fairgrounds and Agricenter in Perry on Feb. 13-15. Call (770) 787-7887.

GALE LEVON, an Augusta vocalist, will appear at the Georgia Music Hall of Fame’s annual concert on Feb. 16.

The Hall of Fame, located in Macon, is celebrating Black History Month Feb. 16-20 with daily performances by African-American artists from throughout the state. For more information, contact Brenda Johnson at 790-0297.

225th ANNIVERSARY OF THE BATTLE OF KETTLE CREEK will be celebrated in a three-day program. of activities around the Washington-Wilkes County area, Feb. 13-15. For more information, contact Robert Turbyfill at 736-9602.

Benefits

GEORGIA NATIONAL RODEO Feb. 26-28 at the Georgia National Fairgrounds and Agricenter in Perry, Ga. 1-800987-3247.

SPORTING ART SHOW AND SALE Feb. 13-15 in the Aiken City Municipal Building in downtown Aiken. Tickets are $50 and all proceeds benefit the Disaster Relief Fund of the Aiken County chapter of the American Red Cross.

(803) 641-4152.

“522 GEORGIANS: A MEMORIAL” EXHIBIT will be on display at the Tate Center Art Gallery at the University of Georgia in Athens, Ga., through Feb. 28. For more information, contact Kevin McKee at (706) 542-6396.

HEALTHY RHYTHMS DRUM CIRCLE every third Monday of the month benefits the Golden Harvest Food Bank.

Participate for $5 a class or a donation of canned goods.

Held at IDRUM2U. Call 228-3200.

“MY FAIR LADY” will be presented by the Alliance

EMPTY BOWL LUNCHEON Feb. 22, 11 a.m.-5 p.m., at

CULLUM LECTURE SERIES, “South Asia: On a Tryst With Destiny,” continues on Feb. 17 at 11:30 a.m. with Dr. Gautam. Kundu of Georgia Southern University. “Ghare Baire” will be presented at 11:30 a.m. and “The Politics of Indian Nationalism in Fiction and Film” will be presented at 7 p.m.. Feb. 24 showing of “Muhammad Ali Jinnah” at 11:30 a.m. and 7 p.m. On Feb. 26, Dr. Mumtaz Ahmad speaks about religion and politics in Pakistan at 11:30 a.m. and about the prospects for democracy in Pakistan at 7 p.m. All events held in Butler Hall Auditorium. Visit www.aug.edu/library/cullum2004 or call Michael Bishku, 737-1709, or Jeff Heck, 6674905.

AUGUSTA STATE UNIVERSITY CONTINUING EDUCATION is now offering the following classes: Shag, Ballroom, Line Dance, Beginning and Intermediate Language courses, Interior Design, Acting Workshop, Stained Glass, SAT Review, Power Yoga, Photography, Origami and more. Also, ASU offers online courses. For more information, call 737-1636 or visit www.ced.aug.edu.

AIKEN TECH CONTINUING EDUCATION offers the following courses: computer technology courses, healthcare courses, contractor programs, real estate courses and more. Aiken Tech also offers Education to Go classes online. For more information or to register, call (803) 593-9231, ext. 1230.

AN EVENING IN EGYPT teaches history, culture, customs and foods of Egypt on Feb. 17 from 6:30-8:30 p.m. in the Washington Hall Towers. Cost is $19. Call 737-1636 for more information.

E-MAIL INTRODUCTION at the Friedman Branch Library on Feb. 19 from 9-10 a.m. Learn how to set up and use a free Yahoo! e-mail account. Space is limited, so registration is required. Call 736-6758 for more information.

“MINI-MEDICAL SCHOOL” is offered by the Medical College of Georgia and taught by MCG faculty. Course

costs are $50 and courses will be held Tues. evenings Feb. 17-Mar. 23, 7-9 p.m. in the MCG School of Dentistry auditorium, room 1020. For more information, call 721-3967.

Health OB TOUR by the University Women’s Center on Feb. 12 from 7-9:30 p.m. Admission is free. To register or for more information, call 774-2825.

UNIVERSITY HOSPITAL SUPPORT GROUPS: Living Well With Diabetes, Feb. 12, 774-5798; Prostate Cancer, Feb. 19, 367-1308.

ANGELS HAVE WHEELS: Medicare recipients suffering from conditions such as arthritis, cardiovascular disease and respiratory disorders who have difficulty walking or propelling a standard wheelchair may be eligible to receive an electric wheelchair. For information on eligibility, call Gregory at 1-800-810-2877.

AUGUSTA BRAIN INJURY SUPPORT GROUP meets the second Thursday of every month, 6 p.m., at Walton West TLC. Brain injury survivors and their family members and caregivers are invited to attend. 737-9300.

FORE THE HEALTH OF IT ADAPTIVE GOLF CLINICS held the first Tuesday of every month at First Tee of Augusta. Physical and occupational therapists from Walton Rehabilitation Hospital will guide the course. Call 823-8691.

CHRONIC PAIN SUPPORT GROUP meets the first Thursday of every month, 10:30-11:30 a.m., at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital. 823-5294.

STROKE SUPPORT GROUP meets the last Wednesday of the month, 1-2 p.m., in the outpatient classroom at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital. 823-5213.

WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL AMPUTEE CLINIC for new and experienced prosthetic users meets the third Thursday of each month, 1-3 p.m. 722-1244.

WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL offers a number of health programs, including Fibromyalgia Aquatics, Water Aerobics, Wheelchair and Equipment Clinics, Therapeutic Massage, Yoga, Acupuncture, Children’s Medical Services Clinic, Special Needs Safety Seat Loaner Program., Focus on Healing exercise class for breast cancer survivors and more. Call 823-5294 for information.

THE MCG BREAST CANCER SUPPORT GROUP meets the first Thursday of every month at 7 p.m. and provides education and support for those with breast cancer. For information, call 721-1467.

DIET COUNSELING CLASSES for diabetics and those with high cholesterol at CSRA Partners in Health, 1220 Augusta West Parkway. Free. Call 860-3001 for class schedule.

PROJECT LINK COMMUNITY LECTURE SERIES is held the first Tuesday of every month and is sponsored by the MCG Children’s Medical Center. Project Link provides educational resources and guidance for families who have children with developmental delays, disabilities and other specialized health concerns. Free and open to the public; takes place from 6:30-8 p.m. in the main conference room at the Children’s Medical Center.

Call 721-6838 for information.

UNIVERSITY HEALTH CARE SYSTEM COMMUNITY EDUCATION holds workshops, seminars and classes on a variety of topics: weight and nutrition, women’s health, cancer, diabetes, seniors’ health and more.

Support groups and health screenings are also offered.

Call 736-0847 for details.

FREE PULMONARY FUNCTION SCREENINGS on Feb. 17 from 1-3 p.m. at the University Hospital Asthma Clinic.

Appointments required. Call 774-5696 for more information.

The Wellness and Weight Loss Center

The Wellness and Weight Loss Center 677-A North Belair Road • Evans, GA 30809 706-860-0070

706-860-0070

www.WellnessWtLoss.com Email: WellnessWtLoss@knology.net

! Expert Income Tax Preparation Federal and All States • Individuals, Businesses and Corporations Reasonable Rates

! Free Electronic Filing Free Electronic Filing when we prepare your Federal, Georgia and South Carolina returns

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! Business Services Full Service Bookkeeping • Payroll and Quarterly Reports Consulting for new business start ups • Incorporation Service Computer & Account Software • Certified Quick Books Consultant

Kids

PHINIZY SWAMP’S FAMILY DISCOVERY SERIES on Feb. 19 from 6-7:30 p.m. will feature a Twilight Walk through the enchanted forest swamp. Admission is free, and the Pfizer Pavilion will be open at 5 p.m. for those that wish to bring a picnic dinner. Call 828-2109 for more information.

LA PETITE PLAZA • 3850 WASHINGTON ROAD, MARTINEZ (BETWEEN BOJANGLES AND THE FIRE STATION)

860-5498

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 12, 2004

CHILD SAFETY SEAT INSPECTIONS by SAFE KIDS of East Central Georgia and the MCG Children’s Medical Center on the first Wed. and Fri. of each month, by appointment only. To make an appointment or for more information, call 651-9300 (Wed. appointments) or 721KIDS (Fri. appointments).

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CHILDREN AND RESTRAINTS, SAFETY EDUCATION AND LEARNING class will take place on Feb. 16 at the MCG Children’s Medical Center conference room (BT1810) from 9-11 a.m.. Admission is free, but registration is required. To register or for more information, call 7215437.

SIBSHOPS is for children ages 7-14 who have siblings with health problems and/or chronic and special needs.

The program helps these children cope with the unique feelings they may be experiencing. Held 10 a.m.-1 p.m.

Feb. 21 at the MCG Children’s Medical Center. Program includes games, lunch and discussion. Cost is $5, with scholarships available. 721-CARE. “THE COURTSHIP OF SENIORITA FLORABELLA” Feb. 24-27 at 9:30 a.m., 10:45 a.m. and 12:15 p.m. and Feb. 28 at 3 p.m. Feb. 24-27 performances are $3.50 per student and reservations are required; Feb. 28 performance is a family matinee and tickets are $4 per person, no reservations required. Held at the Maxwell Performing Arts Theatre. 736-3455.

YOUTH COMPUTER TRAINING for high school students every third Saturday of the month, 1:30-4:30 p.m., at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 722-6275.

AIKEN COUNTY PONY CLUB meets weekly. Open to children of all ages who participate or are interested in equestrian sports. For more information, contact Lisa Smith at (803) 649-3399.

FREE CAR SEAT EDUCATION CLASSES for parents and other caregivers the third Monday of every month from 9-11 a.m. at MCG Children’s Medical Center. Registration is required; those who are Medicaid or Peachcare eligible should indicate status during registration and bring a card or proof of income to class in order to receive a free car seat. 721-KIDS. GIRLS INCORPORATED OF THE CSRA AFTER-SCHOOL PROGRAM runs through May 21. Open to girls currently enrolled in kindergarten through high school. In addition to offering specialized programs, Girls Incorporated offers van pick-up at select schools, neighborhood dropoff, homework room and a hot evening meal. For information, call 733-2512.

WEEKLY STORY SESSIONS at all branch libraries. Visit www.ecgrl.public.lib.ga.us for more information.

FIRST SATURDAY STORYTELLING at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum. In addition, there is a tour of the museum. Held 10 a.m.-noon the first Saturday of the month.

Call 724-3576.

“ONE NOBLE JOURNEY,” part of the Morris Museum of Art’s Children’s Performance Series, is to be presented at New York actor Mike Wiley on Feb. 14 at 2 p.m. 7247501.

YOUTH FUN NIGHT at the Smith-Hazel Recreation Center on Feb. 13 from 7-10 p.m. Call (803) 642-7635 for more information.

VALENTINES AFTER HOURS at Gibbs Library on Feb. 13, 6:30-7:30 p.m. Call 863-1946 for more information.

STORY TIME at the Friedman Branch Library will feature Chief Gillespie of the Augusta Fire Dept. as guest reader on Feb. 17 at 10 and 10:30 a.m..

868-3231 or 1-800-413-6652.

For tickets, call 724-4423 or visit www.augustalynx.com.

area, contact Laurie Roper at 736-1199, ext. 208.

HOME-BASED CARE available for low- to mid-income families seeking alternatives to nursing home placement. To participate, individuals must be aged 60 or up or must have disability status as defined by Social Security Administration guidelines. Applicants must also meet program income guidelines. For more information, contact the CSRA Area Agency on Aging at 210-2018 or 1-888-922-4464.

THE AUGUSTA RUGBY CLUB is always looking for new members. Teams available for women and men; no experience necessary. Practice is Tuesday and Thursday nights, 7-9 p.m. at Richmond Academy. For more information, call Don Zuehlke, 495-2043, or e-mail augustarfc@yahoo.com. You may also visit www.augustarugby.org.

AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL: New volunteer orientation is scheduled the first Saturday of each month at 1 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Schedule subject to change; call 790-6836 to verify dates and times.

WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL offers Arthritis Aquatics and People With Arthritis Can Exercise. Call 823-5294 for information.

SENIOR VOLUNTEERS NEEDED FOR THE NEW VISITOR CENTER AT PHINIZY SWA.M.P NATURE PARK to greet visitors, hand out literature and sell merchandise.

Volunteers are asked to commit one Saturday or Sunday per month, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. or 1-5 p.m. Call 828-2109 for information.

AIKEN PARKS AND RECREATION offers a multitude of programs for senior adults, including bridge clubs, fitness classes, canasta clubs, line dancing, racquetball, arts and crafts, tennis and excursions. For more information, call (803) 642-7631.

THE ACADEMY FOR LIFELONG LEARNING offers lectures, courses, field trips, discussion groups and community information seminars on a variety of topics to mature adults. For more information, contact the USCAiken Office of Continuing Education at (803) 641-3288.

THE SENIOR CITIZENS COUNCIL OF GREATER AUGUSTA AND THE CSRA offers a variety of classes, including ballroom dance, aerobics, quilting, tai chi, Spanish, line dancing, bowling, bridge, computers, drama club/readers theatre and pinochle. For dates and times, phone 8264480.

SENIORNET provides adults age 50 and over education for and access to computer technology. Many different courses are offered. Contact the USC-Aiken Continuing Education Office at (803) 641-3563.

POETRY READINGS presented by Life Enrichment Programs Nutrition Group on Feb. 23-24 from 10:15-11 a.m. at the Senior Citizens Council on 15th St. Call 8264480 for more information.

DIXIE JUBILARIES QUARTET: Gospel singing by Roosevelt Walker, J.L. Lee, Herman Lee and Johnny Sims on Feb. 16 from 10-11 a.m. at the Senior Citizens Council on 15th St. Call 826-4480 for more information.

AARP SENIOR DRIVER SAFETY PROGRAM on Feb. 17 and 19 from 1-5 p.m. at the Senior Citizens Council on 15th St. Both sessions must be attended to receive the certificate, and all ages are welcome. Cost is $10.

Contact Bobbie Olivero at 826-4480, ext. 242 for more information.

SPIRITUAL MUSIC IN THE A.M.: In celebration of Black History Month, the Singing Roberts (Louise and Donald) will perform at the Senior Citizens Council on Feb. 18 from 10-11 a.m. All ages welcome. Call 826-4480 for more information.

Sports

STORY TIME at the Maxwell Branch Library will feature guest reader Henrietta Hudson on Feb. 18 at 10 a.m. Call 793-2020 for more information.

LACROSSE CLINICS Feb. 21, 23, 25 and 28 at Doctors Hospital Field. No equipment or previous experience required. Free. Call Donna Pope, 364-3269.

FEBRUARY SCHOOL’S OUT PROGRAMS at the Family Y on Wheeler Road include games, arts and crafts, sports and more. Activities are scheduled Feb. 13 and 16 for Columbia County elementary students and Feb. 20 for Richmond County elementary students from 9 a.m.-4 p.m. For more information, call 738-7006.

SOLID GOLD ALL-STAR CHEERLEADERS are holding tryouts Feb. 14, 11 a.m.-4 p.m., at the Odell Weeks Center in Aiken. Participants must be in 4th-12th grade.

For more info, contact Tammy Sheppard at (803) 2662105.

Seniors METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 12, 2004

HISTORY WITH SENIORS Feb. 26, 9 a.m.-2 p.m. at the Smith-Hazel Recreation Center. Senior citizens ages 60 and older will gather to share stories and objects from their past. Free, but donations will be accepted. (803) 642-7635.

AARP TAX ASSISTANCE provided through April 13 at Friedman Branch Library on Thursdays, 9 a.m.-1 p.m.; Maxwell Branch Library Tuesdays and Fridays, 10 a.m.-2 p.m.; and at the Gibbs Memorial Library Tuesdays, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Call the Friedman Branch at736-6758, the Maxwell Branch at 793-2020 or the Gibbs Memorial Library at 863-1946 for more information.

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UNIVERSITY SENIORS CLUB has moved to a new location at 4106 Columbia Rd. University Seniors Club offers health screenings, support groups, health education classes and social activities. For more information, call

FAMILY Y YOUTH SPORTS REGISTRATIONS for soccer school, flag football and flag football cheer squad Feb. 23-March 12. 738-6680.

NORTH AUGUSTA SPRING RECREATION PROGRAM REGISTRATION through Feb. 16 at Riverview Park Activities Center for Dixie Youth Baseball, Dixie Boys’ Baseball, Girls’ Softball and Youth Soccer. Call (803) 4414311 for more information.

FAMILY Y YOUTH SOCCER REGISTRATION Feb. 23March 12 at Southside Branch. Call 738-6678, 3643669 or 738-6680 for details.

FAMILY Y RECREATIONAL GYMNASTICS session held March 8-May 14. Classes available for toddlers through teens. Call 738-6678.

THE AUGUSTA VOLLEYBALL ASSOCIATION is looking for new members. For more information, visit www.augustavolleyball.com.

AUGUSTA LYNX HOME GAMES Feb. 12-13, 19-21 and 26.

MEN’S AND WOMEN’S SPRING SOFTBALL of Aiken will hold an organizational meeting at Citizen’s Park, field II on Feb. 17. Call (803) 642-7761 for more information.

Volunteer FORTE INTERNATIONAL EXCHANGE ASSOCIATION is in need of local host families for high school international exchange students for the 2004-2005 school year. For more information, contact Tracy Klemens, (678) 3585890.

THE EARNED INCOME TAX CREDIT COALITION is looking for volunteers with basic computer skills to prepare tax returns for individuals with low and limited income, individuals with disabilities, non-English speaking persons and elderly taxpayers. Volunteers receive free training and instruction materials from the IRS and will serve at VITA sites throughout the community. For more information, contact Sheryl Silva, 826-4480, ext. 341.

AUGUSTA/CSRA HABITAT FOR HUMANITY needs volunteers at ReStore, Walton Way and Tenth Street, to assist with receiving donations of new and used building and home improvement materials and warehousing them for sale to the public. The store is open Thursday-Saturday year round. If you can commit eight or more hours per month, contact Steve Buck, 364-7637.

MENTORS AND VOLUNTEERS needed to provide support for MACH Academy at the May Park Community Center and the Fleming Tennis Center. Education, tutoring and technology sessions held Monday-Thursday, 3-6 p.m. at each location. Tennis instruction and fitness activities held Monday-Thursday, 6-7 p.m. at May Park and Monday-Tuesday, 6-8 p.m., Friday, 6-8 p.m. and Saturday, 2-5 p.m. at the Fleming Center. 796-5046.

SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER is seeking donors to prevent a blood supply shortage. To donate call 737-4551, 854-1880 or (803) 643-7996.

Meetings SIERRA CLUB MEETING 7:30 p.m. Feb. 17 at Unitarian Universalist Church on Walton Way Extension. Climber Archer Bell presents a slideshow. Visit http://georgia.sierrclub.org/srg/ for more info.

THE AUGUSTA ARCHAEOLOGICAL SOCIETY meets Feb. 13, 8 p.m., at Augusta Technical College in Room 111 of Building 100. Call 863-7964.

THE MINDBENDER DEPRESSION AND BIPOLAR SUPPORT ALLIANCE meets 6 p.m. Feb. 18 at First Baptist Church of Augusta. 722-0010.

BEGINNER LEVEL VIDEO MAKER CLUB meets the third Thursday of each mongh 5:30-7:30 p.m. at the Maxwell Library. Contact Louise Coe, 592-6464, for info.

ASSOCIATION OF FUNDRAISING PROFESSIONALS luncheon and workshop on acquiring government support Feb. 20 at Marbury Center. For reservations, contact Brenda Durant, 826-4702, ext. 1, by noon Feb. 18.

“THE FIRST STEP” DIVORCE RECOVERY WORKSHOP meets Sundays through Feb. 29 from 4-6 p.m. in Room 201 of the Walton Building at First Baptist Church. Free to the public. Free childcare for kids up to age 5. No registration is required. For more information, call 733-2236 or visit www.fbcaugusta.org.

WOMEN AND MEN ON THE MOVE meeting for motivated men and women who wish to discuss problems and possible solutions to issues in society. Meeting is on Feb. 13 from 8 a.m.-2 p.m. at the Smith-Hazel Recreation Center in Aiken. Admission is free. Call (803) 42-7635 for more information.

FOSTER PARENTS NEEDED for children and teen-agers in Richmond County. For information, contact Luera Lewis, 721-3718.

GIBBS LIBRARY BOOK DISCUSSION GROUP meets Feb. 16 at 7 p.m. to discuss “Blessing” by Anna Quindlen.

Call 863-1946 for more information.

PHINIZY SWAMP NATURE PARK VISITOR CENTER is in need of volunteers to greet visitors, hand out literature and sell merchandise. Volunteers must commit to one Saturday or Sunday each month, from either 9 a.m.-1 p.m. or 1-5 p.m. 828-2109.

AMERICAN SINGLES GOLF ASSOCIATION meets the 2nd Thursday of each month at different area restaurants. Meeting is free, but dinners are individually ordered. For more information, call (803) 441-6741.

UNITED HOSPICE OF AUGUSTA is in need of volunteers to support terminally ill patients. Scheduling and training times are flexible. Call Donna Harrell at 650-1522 for information.

THE ARTISTS’ CONSERVATORY THEATRE OF THE CSRA is looking for volunteer board members, actors and production crew. Call 556-9134 or e-mail act@theatermail.net.

SERVICE CORPS OF RETIRED EXECUTIVES (SCORE) provides counseling and mentoring to businesspeople starting up a new business or expanding an ongoing business. Services are provided free of charge. For more information, call the Augusta office at 793-9998.

SOUTHERNCARE HOSPICE SERVICE is currently seeking volunteers to perform a variety of tasks, including relieving caregivers, reading to patients and running errands.

Training is included. For additional information, contact Lisa Simpson, (803) 463-9888 or 869-0205.

COURT APPOINTED SPECIAL ADVOCATE PROGRAM VOLUNTEER TRAINING: The CASA program is looking for volunteers 21 years of age and older to advocate for abused and neglected children in the juvenile court system. Volunteers need no experience and will be provided with specialized training. Call 737-4631.

CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY NEW VOLUNTEER ORIENTATION PROGRAM the third Saturday of every month at the Pet Center, 425 Wood St. Orientation starts at 11 a.m. Volunteers under 18 years of age must have a parent or guardian present during orientation and while volunteering. Call 261-PETS for information.

THE KITTY ORTIZ DE LEON FOUNDATION needs volunteers to help promote organ donor awareness. For more information, please contact Cassandra Reed or Espy De Leon at 394-0838 or kodfoundation@aol.com.

GOLDEN HARVEST FOOD BANK needs volunteers during the day, from 8:30 a.m.-4 p.m. Monday-Friday, to help sort donated products and assist in their agency shopping area. Help is needed year-round. If you are able to lift 25 pounds, can commit to at least 3-4 hours per month and would like to help fight hunger in the Augusta

LOVE SHOULDN’T HURT: A FORUM ON DOMESTIC ABUSE will meet Feb. 13 in the Augusta Tech.

Auditorium from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. For more information, contact Jean Langham at 724-6262, ext. 303.

Weekly OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS meets every Sunday night, 7:30 p.m., at Holy Trinity Lutheran Church in North Augusta. For more information, call 278-5156.

NAR-ANON FAMILY GROUP for relatives and friends of drug abusers. No dues or fees. The group meets Mondays at 7 p.m. Call for location. For information, contact Josie, 414-5576, or Lionel, 860-0302.

GAMBLERS ANONYMOUS meets Thursdays, 7:30 p.m., in the basement of Fairview Presbyterian Church.

1-800-313-0170.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: For more information and a meeting schedule, call 860-8331.

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS: If you want to stop using any drugs, there is a way out. Help is available at no cost.

Call the Narcotics Anonymous help line for information and meeting schedules at 855-2419.

SEXAHOLICS ANONYMOUS, a 12-step program of recovery from addiction to obsessive/compulsive sexual thoughts and behaviors, meets Wednesdays at 8 p.m. at Christ Church Unity, 2301 Central Ave. Call 339-1204 and leave first name and phone number; a confidential reply is assured.

GUIDELINES: Public service announcements are listed in this section without charge at the discretion of the editor. Announcements must be received by Monday at noon and will be included as space permits. Send to Events, Metro Spirit, P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914 or fax (706) 733-6663. You may also e-mail listings to rhonda.jones@metrospirit.com or lisa.jordan@metrospirit.com. Listings cannot be taken over the phone.

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 12, 2004

©2003 Anheuser-Busch, Inc., Bacardi Silver O3 Flavored Malt Beverage (Flavored Beer in TX), St. Louis, MO BACARDI, BAT DEVICE, O3 AND SILVER LOGOS ARE TRADEMARKS OF BACARDI & COMPANY LIMITED.

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Bomb Epic

Hollywood

Flix Must-See

Boring

Comedy Sleeper Oscar Pick Director Stars This Rocks Famous Silly

Awesome

Drama

Action

Along Came Polly (PG-13) — Ben Stiller has pungent moments of frenzy as insurance risk appraiser Reuben Feffer, panicked in the powder room of Polly (Jennifer Aniston), desperate for some paper and reduced to using her favorite new toiletry utensil. But the script could use a few extra flushes. He wants to impress Polly, ace Village gal whom Aniston sustains with her special combo of daffy-chick looseness and wisecracking sense. The movie is best when they're on-screen, fidgeting with romance. "Along Came Polly" has, by current standards of go-for-it mall comedy, regularity. You can laugh or wince or do both in sync, but you'd have to invoke the standards of a previous era to get genuinely offended by it (to be deeply amused, you'd need no standards). Cast: Ben Stiller, Jennifer Aniston, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Alec Baldwin, Bryan Brown, Debra Messing, Hank Azaria. Running time: 1 hr., 30 mins. (Elliott) !!

Barbershop 2: Back in Business (PG-13) — Ice Cube runs the

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 12, 2004

simply being a barbershop, the gab has a razor-cut charm. Running time: 1 hr., 40 mins. (Elliott) !!1/2 stars.

Brother Bear (G) — Latest Disney animated offering about a young man, Kenai, who is transformed by The Great Spirits into a bear. On a quest to gain back his human form, Kenai befriends a bear cub, Koda, and evades his human brother, who, not realizing Kenai has been turned into a bear, is on Kenai’s trail on a revenge mission. Cast: Jeremy Suarez, Joaquin Phoenix, Rick Moranis, Dave Thomas.

The Butterfly Effect (R) — As Evan Treborn, Ashton Kutcher is a floppy fishie with a hook in his mouth, and that hook is the script. Seems that Evan's dad is a deranged psycho with a "most unusual" brain disorder who, during the boy's visit to the ward, tries to throttle and kill him. As Evan grows up, there are other lurid milestones. Evan has a breakthrough: Reading his old diaries, the pages quiver and this lets him mentally travel back to a past he can now change. In the middle, gulping like a caught bass, is Kutcher, aching with sincerity and technique you could call inadequate except that no technique would be adequate. The poor guy is caught, stuffed and mounted.

Cast: Ashton Kutcher, Amy Smart, Elden Henson, Kevin Schmidt, Eric Stoltz, William Lee Scott. Running time: 1 hr., 53 mins. (Elliott) !

Calendar Girls (PG-13) — The story begins in tragedy: Annie's (Julie Walters) wise, gentle husband John (John Alderton) contracts, then dies of, leukemia. Wanting to do something, she determines to provide a decent sofa for the visitors to the hospital's sick and dying patients. What better way than through the Women's Institute's annual calendar? How to boost sales? She and her naughty-girl girlfriend Chris (Helen Mirren) come up with a most improbable scheme and enlist enough of their fellow 40- and 50-something W.I. members to make it happen. Mirren and Walters simply don't have enough story to work with; they seem almost to be flailing in their attempt to gin up some drama from the flaccid script. Cast: Helen Mirren, Julie Walters, John Alderton, Linda Bassett, Penelope Wilton. Running time: 1 hr., 48 mins. (Salm) !!

“The Tri plets of Be l l e vill e”

Sony Pictures Classics

roots-deep Calvin Jr.'s Barbershop on Chicago's South Side. Again, more talk rises than hair falls, though the scissors team from the 2002 hit have a new worry, a slick rival across the way. The best laughs come from Cedric the Entertainer as Eddie, with a broad beam and a ‘do to match. Eddie isn't quite so rife with the riffs that won the first movie a little notoriety, but gets into a fine lip-off with the big beautician from down the street (Queen Latifah, offering an appetizer of her upcoming "Beauty Shop"). As long as it is

36

Masterpiece

The Cat in the Hat (PG)

— This bulldozing movie has about as much to do with Dr. Seuss’ witty and impressively drawn kids' books as Adam Sandler has with Molière. It's a brash defilement of Geisel's most famous work, yet so compulsively cheery that

RATINGS !!!! — Excellent

Funny

Not Bad

nster” “Mo New Market Films

Lame

people might try to ignore the obvious. Mike Myers plays the Cat in a big hat and costume of fake fur that stifles his amusing features. He's supposed to be the spirit of wild, impish fun, helping lift the depressed scamp Conrad (pudgy, likable Spencer Breslin) and his control-freak sister, Sally (Dakota Fanning), a dwarfish total woman who starts off each day by making a list. Director Bo Welch's technique is to just keep hurling (both senses of the word apply). His tireless approach is astoundingly tiresome. Cast: Mike Myers, Dakota Fanning, Alec Baldwin, Spencer Breslin, Kelly Preston. Running time: 1 hr., 32 mins. (Elliott) !

Catch That Kid (PG) — The film is an English-language remake of a Danish kids’ movie. 12year-old Maddy and her father are avid mountain climbers, but an accident on Mount Everest leaves Maddy’s father paralyzed. His only chance at recovery is an expensive operation, so Maddy recruits two friends to break into a bank and steal enough money to cover the expense of the surgery. Cast: Kristen Stewart, Corbin Bleu, Jennifer Beals, Sam Robards.

Cheaper by the Dozen (PG) — To make an old (1950) Clifton Webb comedy without Clifton Webb is a serious loss, but getting Steve Martin — a vanilla-shaked version of Webb's snappish fussiness — is not a bad idea for "Cheaper By the Dozen."

He's engaging as Tom Baker, football coach and father of 12 kids. Bonnie Hunt plays the wife and mom, Kate, looking awfully good despite the wear. The Bakers have a great life in a small town where Tom coaches, but he's hired to go to a bigger team outside Chicago, and the only story is the stress on the family from their move.

The film is simple and obvious and plastic, but diverting.

Designed to be fluff, it's fluffy all the time. Cast: Steve Martin, Bonnie Hunt, Piper Perabo, Hilary Duff, Richard Jenkins. Running time: 1 hr., 34 mins. (Elliott) !!

!!!— Worthy

!! — Mixed

! — Poor

Cold Mountain (R) — Sick of the war, the wounded Confederate soldier Inman (Jude Law) trudges back home to Cold Mountain, N.C. Waiting for him, he hopes, is the woman he briefly knew, Ada (Nicole Kidman), the polished daughter of a preacher (Donald Sutherland). It's their unrequited love that draws Inman back, along with the land, and that keeps Ada going as she learns how to survive in the almost lawless country.

Pushed along by old tunes that burr and rasp in the "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" mode, the movie has rhythm, but it overall feels like just one darn hard day after another. Cast: Jude Law, Nicole Kidman, Renee Zellweger, Brendan Gleeson, Natalie Portman, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Donald Sutherland, Giovanni Ribisi.

Running time: 2 hrs., 21 mins. (Elliott) !!1/2 Elf (PG) — Years ago, a human boy was adopted by one of Santa’s elves after sneaking a ride back to the North Pole in Santa’s bag of presents. Now he’s fully grown, his height and clumsy nature impeding his duties in the workshop. He decides it’s time to travel to the human world and search for his family. Taking a job as a department store Elf, he inspires humans to believe in Santa Claus. Cast: Will Ferrell, James Caan, Zooey Deschanel, Bob Newhart, Mary Steenburgen.

50 First Dates (PG-13) — Adam Sandler is a marine life vet employed at Sea World in Hawaii and the ultimate bachelor. He meets a high school art teacher, played by Drew Barrymore, at a local cafe, who turns out to be the girl of his dreams. But she happens to have short-term memory loss, which causes her to forget who he is and that they’re dating. Cast: Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore, Rob Schneider, Dan Akroyd, Sean Astin, Blake Clark. Running time: 1 hr., 36 mins.

The Haunted Mansion (PG) — Another movie based on a ride at Disneyland, again featuring cheesy, story-altering references to the rides, as

0— Not worthy

double-decker: one deck of entertainment for kids (and teens who don't scoff at kids' movies), another for the grown, if not greatly more adult, viewers. Brendan Frasier stars with Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck the stable of Warner Bros. cartoon characters. Joining Frasier are Timothy Dalton, Joan Cusack, Jenna Elfman, and Locklear and Steve Martin as the mastermind villian.

Running time: 1 hr., 32 mins. (Elliot) !!!

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (PG-13) —

lasts 200 minutes, and some of those are long minutes.

The last 20 can feel like an hour, for clearly creator Peter Jackson didn't wish to let his saga go. Bernard Hill, Viggo Mortensen and Orlando Bloom are impressive fighters, and Cate Blanchett makes a gorgeous Galadriel. This is posing, not acting. Sir Ian McKellen acts very well as noble Gandalf, but lines about heart, courage and fate make him Lord Fortune Cookie. "Lord" is all epic, all the time. Jackson loves battles, which means hurling dense masses of mostly computerized fighters at one another. If the climax battle this time is more overpowering than the Helm's Deep boggler in "Two Towers," does it truly deepen the story? Maybe it is just more spectacle, as climaxes are stacked high and then the epic winds down with Elijah Woods as Frodo (now mildly matured) exiting sweetly, his destiny done. Cast: Ian McKellen, Elijah Wood, Cate Blanchett, Viggo Mortensen, Ian Holm, Orlando Bloom, Sean Astin.

Running time: 3 hrs., 20 mins. !!

Lost in Translation (R) — “Lost in Translation” follows two guests at a Tokyo hotel whose lives intertwine following a chance encounter at the hotel bar. The guests are Bob, a middle-aged actor in Tokyo to film whiskey commercials, and Charlotte, the young wife of a mostly absent photographer. Unable to sleep one night, the two head down to the bar for a drink, where they meet and forge a friendship based on their mutual loneliness and boredom. Cast: Bill Murray, Scarlett Johansson, Giovanni Ribisi, Anna Faris, Fumihiro Hayashi, Yutaka Tadokoro. Rnning time: 1 hr., 42 mins.

Love Don’t Cost a Thing (PG13) — “Love Don’t Cost a Thing” is a remake of the

1987 teen comedy “Can’t Buy Me Love.” An unpopular geek blackmails a cheerleader into posing as his girlfriend in an attempt to improve his reputation. Cast: Nick Cannon, Christina Milian, Vanessa Bell Calloway, Kal Penn, Steve Harvey, Kenan Thompson.

Mona Lisa Smile (PG-13) — Julia Roberts has no Mona Lisa smile — enigmatic coyness isn't in her range — but her big, horsey grin flashes its horse sense and beaming charm through much of

greatness and achieves high TV drama; the case wrapup is rushed and fishy. Running time: 2 hrs., 20 mins.

(Elliott) !!

The Perfect Score (PG-13) — Scarlett Johansson plays cool, edgy, dressy, snarktongued Francesca, so smart she could easily ace her SATs, but would rather have the challenge of breaking into the test company and stealing the answers. With her new buddies in crime — played by Chris Evans (cute), Bryan Greenberg (ditto), Erika Christensen (double ditto), plus tall, amusingly solemn Darius Miles, plus Leonardo Nam

Walt Disney Pictures

Looney Tunes: Back in Action (PG) — Director Joe Dante's hip game plan is a

"Mona Lisa Smile," and viewers can smile in return.

She plays Katherine Watson, a "Bohemian from California" who in 1953 comes to Wellesley College to teach art history. Katherine is, of course, a Pacific breeze, a progressive, startled to find that her class has mastered the curriculum text before her arrival. She quickly teaches the "girls" to stop being rote drones and confront a grand new Jackson Pollock, the holy grail of Ike Era modernism. The movie has pinches of art history, but takes more time with Katherine's love life. Cast: Julia Roberts, Kirsten Dunst, Julia Stiles, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Constance Baker, Ginnifer Goodwin, Dominic West, Marcia Gay Harden. Running time: 1 hr., 57 mins. !!1/2 Miracle (PG) — Kurt Russell has a topper role as a real hero, Coach Herb Brooks. Russell doesn't just play him as a hero, as an iron profile next to a waving flag. Brooks coached the U.S. hockey team at the 1980 Winter Olympics, achieving a tremendous upset over a Soviet team of older players that had ruled and terrified Olympic hockey since 1960. Russell plays Brooks as a driven man not easily distracted.

Being ordained, the movie is clichéd. It has to go through the frets and sweats and bonding and drills, then hit high at the Olympics, so it does. But what a game it was. Not to be moved is to show adrenaline deficiency. Brooks' miracle team thrilled a sullen America and impressed the world. Cast: Kurt Russell, Patricia Clarkson, Noah Emmerich, Eddie Cahill, Michael Mantenuto. Running time: 1 hr., 40 mins.

(Elliott) !!!

The Missing (R) — Cate Blanchett is again superb, as a flinty frontier mom who rides hard across 1870s New Mexico, chasing a mostly Apache band that took her daughter, slowly making up with her long absent and "gone Injun" father (Tommy Lee Jones). Ron Howard directed with a true eye for detail and landscape, Eric Schweig is an alarmingly vicious sorcerer, the brutality is frequent and not for tender viewers. Running time: 2 hrs., 10 mins. (Elliott) !!!

Monster (R) — To play Florida serial killer (of seven men) Aileen Wuornos, Charlize Theron did a monstrous job on herself: extra pounds, ratty hair, facial beauty slumping into a slum except for the rare, radiant smile. It's one of those bravely mutative performances that win laurels and make critics lose their marbles, but it lacks the truly risky daring of Daniel Day Lewis in "My Left Foot" or Robert De Niro in "Raging Bull" because director-writer Patty Jenkins has simplified Wuornos' story (already much documented) into the tragic fall of a soulful loser. Her total victimization becomes a beastly cry of protest against men and society. The wretched pulp as she kills men who are usually just barely human is pulverizing. Theron is affecting, and Christina Ricci is terrific as a childish depressive who bonds to Aileen like a giddy little leech. 1 hr., 53 mins. (Elliott) !!1/2 Mystic River (R) — Clint Eastwood (directing) and writer Brian Helgeland heap loads of emotional freight on a slow, solemn barge of plot. Its core is a police case (Kevin Bacon, Laurence Fishburne fine as the detectives) about a murder haunted by a past crime. Sean Penn does furious brooding and manly weeping as a dead girl's father, Tim Robbins is a haunted wreck as an abuse victim, Laura Linney and Marcia Gay Harden are sidelined. From its portentous title to its Boston Irish pride parade, the film aches for

acle” “Mir

well as plots about ghosts and curses. Eddie Murphy is a workaholic real estate agent and a smooth-talking sleazebag. A promising real-estate deal turns out to be more than he bargains for, and his eagerness to scope out a house on the way to a family vacation leaves his entire family stranded at a creepy, cobweb-ridden Louisiana mansion with a curse. The result is a movie that, while consistently amusing, plays like a hackneyed effort to stretch a few minutes of ride into a coherent, hour-and-a-half story. Running time: 1 hr., 39 mins. (Fu) !!

Honey (PG-13) — Like having the fluids drained out of your system and replaced by a sugarloaded, mixed-drink concoction of a color not found in nature. Honey Daniels (Jessica Alba) bartends, dances and teaches hip-hop dance at a youth center.

Discovered, she makes a fast splash as a music-video dancer and choreographer. There are jolts of energy from occasional moments of hip-hop frenzy, but the editing is so rapid-fire that what appears on the screen looks more like a video game than dance. Will Honey remember her old pals in the 'hood? Why, yes. First "Radio," now this; uplift has never seemed so enervating. Running time: 1 hr., 28 mins. (Salm) H1/2

Something’s Gotta Give (PG13) — Jack Nicholson plays with his cruising wolf image and his age (66), sporting with them as compulsive single Harry Langer. Harry's latest find for a fling is svelte Marin (Amanda Peet), an auctioneer who treats him like a lusty antique. They go to her divorced parents' beach house. But when he meets mother Erica (Keaton), a playwright, the awkward moments quiver.

Harry has a sudden heart crisis. He ends up stuck for a night with Erica. What happens is silly, knowing, witty, touching and abetted deftly by a terrific score. When someone says of Erica's new play, "It's sweet, it's smart, it's funny," that serves as a review of the movie.

Critics should be pleased to echo it. Cast: Jack Nicholson, Diane Keaton, Keanu Reeves, Frances McDormand, Amanda Peet. Running time: 1 hr., 47 mins. (Elliott) !!!!

Stuck on You (PG-13) — The movie is like a Pez machine dispensing pellets of gags about being "conjoined twins," as they fear and hate the term Siamese twins: "We're not Siamese!" No, they're the different-looking, but joined Bob (Matt Damon), the quiet one, and Walt (Greg Kinnear), the "on" one.

United by gut flab and a shared liver, they work in a burger joint. But Walt has giddy acting aspirations.

So they go to Hollywood. Kinnear has rumpled lightness as this show guy who just happens to have a 160-pound brother to haul around like a talking tumor, while Damon sulks and frets, perhaps pondering why his other half isn't Ben Affleck. None of this is awful — it has a brisk spirit of whimsy — but it all runs in a very narrow groove. Cast: Matt Damon, Greg Kinnear, Eva Mendes, Cher, Wen Yann Shih, Seymour Cassel, Meryl Streep. Running time: 1 hr., 45 mins. (Elliott) !!

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (R) — It’s a remake of the origi-

as a slackerdoper who is comic relief but tries too hard — it's just a matter of cutting locks, slinking through a skylight and doing some quick computer work. The perky if almost senseless twist is that to break through the computer code they must answer a battery of SAT questions. The movie seems meant for people who never placed higher than 600 on their SATs, for whom, in fact, Einstein is a bagel. Cast: Scarlett Johansson, Erika Christensen, Chris Evans, Darius Miles, Leonardo Nam, Bryan Greenberg, Matthew Lillard. Running time: 1 hr., 32 mins. (Elliott) !1/2 Peter Pan (PG) — P.J. Hogan's film is like a cyberized revamp of Disney, but everything is brighter, fuller, glitzier, with live actors and lots of matted effects. Capt. Hook's pirate ship is a virtual theme park awaiting customers. The feared crocodile seems to be from some Jurassic park. Clouds are so pink and cotton-candied you expect Peter and the others to get stuck in them. The magic can get a little ballistic. It's a remarkably sensual film. The action scenes are amusingly zestful, Peter is adorable but not too cute, the pirates are a spry bunch of uglies, but it's the characters connecting emotionally that makes "Peter Pan" fly.

For kids, the movie is a sure thing. Cast: Jason Isaacs, Jeremy Sumpter, Rachel Hurd-Wood, Lynn Redgrave, Olivia Williams, Richard Briars. Running time: 1 hr., 32 mins. (Elliott) !!!

Scary Movie 3 (PG-13) — The third film in the “Scary Movie” series once again spoofs a series of recent horror hits, fantasy epic films and other pop culture sensations, including “8 Mile,” “The Matrix,” “The Ring,” “The Others” and “Signs.” Cast: David Zucker, Anna Faris, Charlie Sheen, Regina Hall, Denise Richards.

nal film and based loosely on true events that inspired that film and “The Silence of the Lambs.” A group of friends becomes isolated in the midst of a clan of cannibals. Cast: Jessica Biel, Jonathan Tucker, Eric Balfour, Erica Leerhsen.

Torque (PG-13) — Biker Cary Ford returns to the hometown he left after taking several motorcycles belonging to a notorious drug dealer. The dealer is looking for his bikes, which contain a hidden stash in their gas tanks. When Ford refuses to give up the bikes, the dealer frames him for the murder of a rival gang leader. Now, Ford must outrun the drug dealer, a biker gang and the FBI. Cast: Martin Henderson, Monet Mazur, Ice Cube, Jay Hernandez, Matt Schulze.

Triplets of Belleville (PG-13)

— This animated French film follows a young man in training for the Tour de France who is kidnapped by thugs and spirited away to the urban Belleville, where he’s forced to peddle as part of a shady gambling scheme. His grandmother and dog set out to find him and bring him home, aided by the Triplets of Belleville, a group of experimental musicians. Cast: Jean-Paul Donda, Michael Robin, Monica Viegas.

Welcome to Mooseport (PG13) — Small-town comedy about the quiet locale of Mooseport, where a mayoral race pits everyone from the local plumber to a former U.S. president against each other. Cast: Ray Romano, Gene Hackman, Maura Tierney, Christine Baranski, Marcia Gay Harden.

You Got Served (PG-13) — Elgin and David are best friends who are serious about their hobby: urban street dancing. When another town’s top group challenges them to a dancing competition, the boys must create new, cutting-edge moves to stay in the game. Cast: Marques Houston, Omari Grandberry, Jennifer Freeman, Jarrell Houston, Dreux Frederic.

—Capsules compiled from movie reviews written by David Elliott, film critic for The San Diego Union-Tribune and other staff writers.

SHARING YESHUA IN UNITY WITH BOTH JEWS AND CHRISTIANS

will be speaking at the following places of worship: Congregation Beth Shalom Messianic Jewish Synagogue

at 7 p.m. on Saturday, February 28. We meet at Riverwatch Community Church • 3701 Old Petersburg Rd., Martinez.

For more information call 796-3797

New Zion Hill Missionary Baptist Church at 11 a.m. on Sunday, February 29 3237 Deans Bridge Road, Augusta

Lighthouse Assemblies of God

at 6:30 p.m. on Sunday, February 29 599 S. Old Belair Road, Grovetown

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 12, 2004

R abbi R obert Israel Solomon

37

CELEBRATING 3 YEARS

flix: close-up

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Drew Barrymore’s Sunny Take on Life, Love and Sandler

By Joey Berlin

I

n the 1998 romantic comedy “The Wedding Singer,” Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler concocted more chemistry than a DuPont plant.

Although it is not a sequel, “50 First Dates” reunites the duo for more love and laughter, this time in Hawaii.

Barrymore plays Lucy, a woman with a pesky short-term memory problem, while Sandler co-stars as a reformed playboy and her would-be boyfriend.

Barrymore’s off-screen personal life has been equally eventful. The scion of an illustrious acting family, she reaped headlines with her precocious childhood career, followed by a teenage stint in rehab, high-profile romances and short-lived marriages, tattoos and nude modeling.

Barrymore emerged from it all with the sunniest of attitudes and shrewd business acumen. The 28-year-old California native, who is dating Fabrizio Moretti, drummer for the rock band The Strokes, has produced more than a half-dozen films, and also coproduced “50 First Dates” with Sandler.

Q: How many first dates have you had that you wish you could forget?

A: I don’t know, not too many. I didn’t really date a lot. I just fell in love and then, like, moved in or something.

Q: Does it delight you to hear yourself and Adam Sandler described as the new Hepburn-Tracy or Tom Hanks-Meg Ryan?

A: I love hearing that. And I love Adam so much. He really is such a wonderful person. He has not a mean bone in his body. He is inherently kind on every single level. I love getting to work with someone who is so nice to everybody and so kind to me.

Q: Your character in “50 First Dates” likes to do a “happy dance.”

What makes you do the happy dance in real life?

A: So many things, actually. I’m such a happy person by nature, I do the happy dance a lot. You should never lose enthusiasm when you’re going on a date with someone you’re in love with. I’ve been with my boyfriend almost two years, and I still like to get ready by myself. I put on music and dance around in my underwear and put makeup on and get really ready and excited to go.

Q: You have such a great positive attitude. When did you decide that happiness is the way to go in life?

A: I think I’ve always been happy, but everybody has things in life that pull at them in the opposite direction to make them cynical or jaded or unhappy. You just have to fight those things off like a dragon in a lair with fire breath, and just not let it happen. I have no cyni-

cism in me whatsoever. I’m not jaded at all. I just think that everything is a gift and it’s beautiful.

I have totally emotional days — I cry, I get insecure, weirded out, doomed, tragic. I’m definitely not just like a lollipop. I’m human just like everybody else. But I think that it would be a tragic waste to be on your deathbed and think, “I could’ve, I should’ve.”

Q: Is it harder to produce a film that you are also acting in?

A: Producing can be really stressful.

When you’re about to walk onto the set and you’re supposed to do a scene where you’re really happy, but you just found out the studio is going to cut your favorite scene because you’re a day behind schedule, all you want to do is rip clumps of your hair out and scream. You want to run to the head of the studio’s office and fight passionately about why the scene’s so important.

But you’ve got to go out there and be happy. It’s really hard. So a lot of actors don’t want to be involved in producing because they want to protect what their real job is, which is acting. I enjoy torturing myself, so I think the harder I can make my job, the more pleasure I get out of it.

Q: Did you do any surfing while you were in Hawaii?

A: I did. I surfed while I was there, a couple of times, actually. I was so proud because I totally stood up on my first time. The second or third time someone took pictures, and I’ve never hunted a human being down more. I said, “I need the negative! I need a copy, I need this!” I saved those pictures like you can’t even imagine.

Standing up on a surfboard riding a wave was not something I ever thought I’d see myself do.

flix: review

New Shipment from France

“50 First Dates” Mines a Tired Genre

By Rachel Deahl

E

ven if both “Memento” and “Groundhog Day” hadn’t mined the memory loss/time loop genre for most of its dramatic and comedic potential, Adam Sandler’s new riff on the subject, “50 First Dates,” would still be an affair best forgotten. That Sandler tries to stretch a full-length feature out of a script that contains enough laughs to sustain a 3minute trailer — with an old premise — is all the more bothersome. Were the execs who greenlit this feature suffering from their own form of amnesia?

For those who can remember, “50 First Dates” sees Sandler reunited with his “Wedding Singer” costar, Drew Barrymore. This time around Barrymore plays Lucy, a damsel in distress plagued by an even greater evil than an a-hole boyfriend from the ‘80s. After surviving a dangerous car accident, Barrymore’s kind Hawaii local, loses her short-term memory — every day transports her back to the day of her accident with no recollection of anything that followed. This unfortunate fact becomes the cruelest joke for Henry Roth (Sandler), a womanizing veterinarian who lives on the island and falls hard for Lucy.

A former commitment-phobe who made sure not to get involved with women who would be around for more than a few days, Henry made it a habit to only sleep with tourists. When he

meets Lucy, he decides to devote his life to making her remember who he is.

Unlike “Groundhog Day,” in which Bill Murray’s fate to relive the same day over and over again forces his character to evolve through a series of hilarious episodes, “50 First Dates” is yet another template for Sandler to inject his hit and miss humor into a simple scenario. Unfortunately, the minor characters — who include the overweight Hawaiian short order cook nicknamed “Tattoo Face,” the foulmouthed local sidekick (played by Rob Schneider), the sexually ambiguous coworker and Lucy’s beefcake wannabe brother (Sean Astin) — are more odd than funny. Much of the comic punch is finally left to Rob Schneider’s quirky local making repeated lewd comments and Sandler snickering at his androgynous German veterinary assistant.

Even the romance itself misses.

While the premise of a guy wooing a girl every day of their lives is momentarily sweet, it’s mostly insane and depressing. In the end, the premise of “50 First Dates” is more heartbreaking than amusing. And, watching Drew Barrymore’s Lucy repeatedly break down upon learning her fate (Henry shows her a video every day to explain the past), you can’t help but feel that everyone — Lucy, Henry and us — would’ve been better off if none of our paths had crossed.

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For more information call 733-0130 1-866-517-7513

reel time REGAL AUGUSTA EXCHANGE 20

Movies Good 2/13 - 2/19 50 First Dates (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:15, 12:45, 1:45, 2:35, 3:05, 4:20, 5:00, 5:30, 6:50, 7:20, 7:50, 9:10, 9:40, 10:25, 11:30, 12:00; Sun-Thur: 12:15, 12:45, 1:45, 2:35, 3:05, 4:20, 5:00, 5:30, 6:50, 7:20, 7:50, 9:10, 9:40, 10:25 Triplets of Belleville (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 1:20, 3:25, 5:35, 8:05, 10:20, 12:25; Sun-Thur: 1:20, 3:25, 5:35, 8:05, 10:20 Barbershop 2 (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:00, 1:30, 2:00, 2:30, 4:15, 4:45, 5:15, 7:00, 7:30, 8:00, 9:45, 10:15, 10:45, 12:15; Sun-Thur: 12:00, 1:30, 2:00, 2:30, 4:15, 4:45, 5:15, 7:00, 7:30, 8:00, 9:45, 10:15, 10:45 Catch That Kid (PG) Fri-Sat: 12:10, 2:25, 4:40, 7:05, 9:25, 11:40; Sun: 12:10, 2:25, 4:40; Mon: 12:10, 2:25, 4:40, 7:05, 9:25; Tues-Thur: 12:10, 2:25, 4:40, 7:05, 9:25 Lost in Translation (R) Fri-Sat: 12:05, 2:20, 4:45, 7:15, 9:40, 12:10; Sun-Thur: 12:05, 2:20, 4:45, 7:15, 9:40 The Perfect Score (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 2:55, 8:15, 12:35; Sun-Thur: 2:55, 8:15 You Got Served (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 11:55, 2:10, 4:30, 6:55, 9:15, 11:35; Sun-Thur: 11:55, 2:10, 4:30, 6:55, 9:15 Miracle (PG) 12:30, 1:00, 3:30, 4:00, 7:10, 7:40, 10:10, 10:40 Cheaper by the Dozen (PG) 11:50, 2:10, 4:35, 7:00 The Butterfly Effect (R) 12:05, 2:40, 5:20, 7:55, 10:35 Mystic River (R) 12:30, 3:40, 6:45, 9:50 Along Came Polly (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:35, 2:50, 5:05, 7:20, 9:35, 11:50; Sun-Thur: 12:35, 2:50, 5:05, 7:20, 9:35 Torque (PG-13) 12:40, 5:30, 10:35 Calendar Girls (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 9:20, 11:50; Sun-Thur: 9:20 Cold Mountain (R) 12:20, 3:35, 6:50, 10:05 Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (PG-13) Fri-Tues:12:00, 4:05, 8:10; Wed-

5:20, 9:45; Tue-Thur: 5:20, 9:45 You Got Served (PG-13) Fri-Mon: 1:35, 3:35, 5:35, 7:35, 9:35; Tue-Thur: 5:35, 7:35, 9:35 The Butterfly Effect (R) Fri-Mon: 2:20, 4:40, 7:00, 9:25; Tue-Thur: 4:40, 7:00, 9:25 Mystic River (R) Fri-Mon: 2:10, 5:10, 8:00; Tue-Thur: 5:10, 8:00 Along Came Polly (PG-13) Fri-Mon: 1:05, 3:20, 5:30, 7:40, 9:50; Tue-Thur: 5:30, 7:40, 9:50 Cheaper by the Dozen (PG) Fri-Mon: 3:00, 7:30; Tue-Thur: 7:30 Cold Mountain (R) Fri-Mon: 1:30, 4:50, 8:15; Tue-Thur: 4:50, 8:15 Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (PG-13) Fri-Mon: 12:45, 4:30, 8:30; Tue-

Thur: 4:30, 8:30

Something’s Gotta Give (PG-13) Fri-Mon:

1:20, 4:00, 6:50, 9:45; Tue-Thur: 4:00, 6:50, 9:45 MASTERS 7 CINEMAS

Movies Good 2/13 – 2/19 Haunted Mansion (PG) Fri: 5:00, 7:10, 9:15; Sat-Sun: 1:00, 3:00, 5:00, 7:10, 9:15; Mon-Thur: 5:00, 7:10, 9:15 Cat in the Hat (PG) Fri: 5:15, 7:25, 9:35; Sat-Sun: 1:15, 3:15, 5:15, 7:25, 9:35: MonThur: 5:15, 7:25, 9:35 Love Don’t Cost a Thing (PG-13) Fri: 4:30, 7:20, 9:40; Sat-Sun: 2:00, 4:30, 7:20, 9:40; Mon-Thur: 4:30, 7:20, 9:40 Mona Lisa Smile (PG-13) Fri: 4:00, 7:00, 9:30; Sat-Sun: 1:30, 4:00, 7:00, 9:30; MonThur: 4:00, 7:00, 9:30 Gothika (R) Fri: 5:05, 7:30, 9:45; Sat-Sun: 1:05, 3:05, 5:05, 7:30, 9:45; Mon-Thur: 5:05, 7:30, 9:45 Peter Pan (PG) 4:15, 9:20 Stuck on You (PG-13) Fri: 4:25, 6:55, 9:25; Sat-Sun: 1:25, 4:25, 6:55, 9:25; Mon-Thur: 4:25, 6:55, 9:25 Elf (PG) Fri: 7:15; Sat-Sun: 1:45, 7:15; Mon-Thur: 7:15

Thur: 12:00, 4:05, 8:10

JAPANESE E SEAFOOD D AND D STEAK K HOUSE E -- SUSHI JAPANESE SEAFOOD AND STEAK HOUSE SUSHII BAR BAR

Welcome to Mooseport (PG-13) Sun: 7:00 Something’s Gotta Give (PG-13) 1:05,

4:30, 7:35, 10:30

February 13 & 14 All Night Steak, Shrimp & Chicken For two $28.95

Early Bird Specials Mon-Thur 4:30--7:00 Fri & Sat 4:30-6:00 Sunday 12 noon-6:00 Steak & Chicken Steak & Shrimp or Chicken & Shrimp For two $23.95

Mona Lisa Smile (PG-13) 2:00, 4:25, 7:10,

9:35

EVANS 14 CINEMAS

Valentine’s Weekend Special

REGAL 12 CINEMAS

Movies Good 2/13 – 2/19

Movies Good 2/13 - 2/19 50 First Dates (PG-13) Fri-Mon: 1:00,

2:00, 3:15, 4:20, 5:25, 6:45, 7:10, 7:45, 9:55; Tue-Thur:4:20, 5:25, 6:45, 7:10, 7:45, 9:55 Miracle (PG) Fri-Mon: 12:55, 3:50, 6:55, 9:40; Tue-Thur: 3:55, 6:55, 9:40 Barbershop 2 (PG-13) Fri-Mon: 2:30, 5:00, 7:20, 10:00; Tue-Thur: 5:00, 7:20, 10:00 Catch That Kid (PG) Fri-Mon: 1:10, 3:10, 5:15, 7:15, 9:15; Tue-Thur: 5:15, 7:15, 9:15 Monster (R) Fri-Mon:1:50, 4:10, 6:40, 9:00; Tue-Thur: 4:10, 6:40, 9:00 The Perfect Score (PG-13) Fri-Mon:12:50,

Love Don’t Cost a Thing (PG-13) 2:15,

4:40, 7:15, 9:40

The Haunted Mansion (PG) 2:05, 4:15,

7:05, 9:15

Gothika (R) 2:25, 4:55, 7:35, 9:45 Peter Pan (PG) 1:55, 4:30, 7:00, 9:25 Stuck on You (PG-13) 1:55, 4:30, 7:00,

9:30

Looney Tunes (PG) 2:10, 4:20, 7:25, 9:25 Honey (PG-13) 2:35, 5:00, 7:45, 9:50 Cat in the Hat (PG) 2:45, 4:45, 7:40, 9:50 Texas Chainsaw Massacre (R) 2:20, 4:50,

7:30, 9:40

Scary Movie 3 (PG-13) 2:40, 5:05, 7:50,

9:55

Brother Bear (G) 2:30, 4:35, 7:20, 9:20

M O V I E L I S T I N G S A R E S U B J E C T C H A N G E W I T H O U T N O T I C E .

40

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 12, 2004

Sunday 12-6pm Filet Mignon & Chicken or Filet Mignon & Shrimp For two $27.95

Check us out on the web at www.metrospirit.com Washington Square Shopping Center Next to Stein Mart & Masters 7 Cinemas

RESERVATIONS 737-4015

T O

MUSIC Life of Jimmy Scott Makes for Fascinating Film

“I

’d heard all of the songs sung before by other artists, but when I heard Jimmy Scott, it was like I was hearing it for the first time,” says director Matthew Buzzell of the subject of his feature-length documentary “Jimmy Scott: If You Only Knew.”

The 78-year-old jazz vocalist makes for a fascinating study, and not only because of his vocal talents. His life story, told by Scott himself, his family, friends and colleagues and then tenderly filtered through Buzzell’s lens, holds the attention and interest of a wide variety of audiences. It’s been screened internationally and has won the Audience Award at the 2002 Atlanta Film Festival and at the 2003 Film Fest D.C. Buzzell, who grew up in Augusta, suspects the film’s popularity has to do with the universal themes that lie within.

“Even people who don’t like jazz have reacted to his story, because it is a human story,” he says. “His story is

such a great story of loss and redemption. I think you’ll enjoy seeing this story unfold.”

“If You Only Knew” is infused with such human emotion partially because of Buzzell’s treatment of his subject.

Both shot and directed by Buzzell, it’s obvious that Scott is comfortable sharing his story with Buzzell – if you weren’t already aware that the two are friends, you’d pick up on it right away from the smiles Scott shares with the camera.

“This project is probably the most personal project I’ve worked on,” Buzzell says. “It’s a project that I initiated and, in many ways, I struggled to complete.”

In the film, Scott opens up about the difficulties he’s had to overcome, including his Depression-era childhood; his mother’s unexpected death and the subsequent dividing up of his siblings into foster homes; his diagnosis with Kallman’s Syndrome, a disease which keeps its sufferers from under-

By Lisa Jordan

going puberty; a string of failed marriages; and Scott’s struggle to find redemption through his music.

“I never had heard Jimmy Scott records, because of his obscurity,” says Buzzell. “I actually got to meet him, we became friends, and seven years later, I bought a digital video rig and started making this film.”

The fact that Scott is still on the go, touring the world and performing, is one of the things that makes the film so touching. Buzzell juxtaposes interview footage with that of Scott performances in Japan and Los Angeles, and we see Scott absorbing the world around him with all the wonder of a child.

“He has no plans of slowing down or retiring. I think he’s just one of those people who are of the mind that life is worth living,” Buzzell says. “Success kind of eluded him until he was in his 60s, and I think he’s still riding high on that.”

Scott will even bring his talents to Augusta Feb. 18 with a performance

following a special screening of “If You Only Knew.” The event is sponsored by Paine College as part of the school’s Lyceum Series.

“This is going to be probably the last public screening of the film,” says Buzzell. The film is set to premiere on PBS’s “Independent Lens” later this month.

When asked what makes for a great documentary, Buzzell is quick to respond. “I think, as with anything, be it a book or a documentary or dramatic narrative film, it comes down to storytelling. You have to have a story to tell and not insult the audience,” he says.

“You go and you shoot 50 or 60 hours of footage, go back and put the puzzle together and make choices. You have to hook the audience and pull them along on a personal journey without insulting their intelligence. … I like emotion.

Really, that’s what I go for. Jimmy’s art is such an emotional art.”

41

“JIMMY SCOTT: IF YOU ONLY KNEW” PREMIERES IN AUGUSTA FEB. 18, 7:30 P.M., AT THE IMPERIAL THEATRE. FOLLOWING THE FILM, JIMMY SCOTT HIMSELF WILL PERFORM. TICKETS ARE $10 AND ARE AVAILABLE BY CALLING 722-8341 OR ONLINE AT WWW.IMPERIALTHEATRE.COM.

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 12, 2004

Photo Credit: Christina Cotter

music

Do-It-Yourself Ethic Works Well for Honestly

E

42

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 12, 2004

ven though you may not know it, you’ve probably already been exposed to the music of Honestly. In addition to licensing tracks for use in “The Real World,” “Road Rules” and “The Simple Life,” among others, these business-savvy musicians have, since April of last year, received radio airplay on over 20 U.S. radio stations and on XM Satellite Radio. Not bad for a band that’s been together less than a year.

“It’s humbling,” guitarist and keyboard player Rob Attaway says of the band’s success. “It can be very easy to develop an ego and think that we are so much greater than we are. We got off the road from touring with Third Eye Blind, only to play a show for 10 people in a bar in Columbus, Ga., three weeks later. It’s a reality check when you realize that no matter how much success you have, you are still a relative unknown. We just try to stay humble and work hard to keep

getting our music out there.”

Getting Honestly’s music out there has entailed, so far, a self-released album, “Have a Nice Life,” touring and using the Internet as a promotional tool.

“We have actually built our following, for the most part, on good old-fashioned grassroots promotion and hard work,” Attaway says. “After all our shows, we will stay and talk with anyone who wants to hang out, no matter how late we have to stay. We really make an effort to get to know the people that are coming to our shows.

“The Internet has been very helpful for us, especially through sites like Alternative Addiction, Rhapsody and Awarestore. It’s interesting how the Internet is working these days — bands in our position are really benefiting from the exposure the Web provides, while the major record labels and their artists are losing millions of dollars because of illegal downloading. It’s likely that if we do

Honestly performs at Crossroads Feb. 18 with The Kilpatrick Project and The Jeremy Carr Trio. Tickets are $3 in advance and $5 at the door, and are available from Crossroads, Lokal Loudness and members of The Kilpatrick

By Lisa Jordan

get signed, the Internet that has helped us achieve recognition will be the Internet that takes money away from us.”

Honestly currently remains unsigned, and Attaway admits he doesn’t know if the goal to sign up will be met sooner, later or never.

“Anytime you have marginal success as an independent band, as we’ve had recently, people are going to make a big deal out of the fact that you aren’t signed. With or without a record label deal, we really believe in our music and what we are doing. That said, it is virtually impossible to make a national impact without major record label distribution,” Attaway says. “It’s obvious that the record industry is changing drastically right now, so who’s to say what a record deal will mean five years from now? But right now, our goal is to be on a major record label. If we have to tour for years and build a fanbase on our own, though, we’ll do it, because we are passionate

about the music we are writing and the relationships we are making with our fans who believe in the music as much as we do.”

Even without the benefits of major label distribution, Honestly has managed to churn out a professional-sounding debut with a melodic, minimalist feel. Tracks like “Away From You” and “I Don’t Know” are emotionally effective without overwhelming the listener.

“I think it reflects the great job that our producers, Dwight Baker and Daniel Mendez, did in bringing out the absolute best in us musically while maintaining a level of simplicity that makes the music more real,” says Attaway. “Nobody goes into the studio to make an album and says, ‘I think we should overproduce this record.’ But a lot of producers make the mistake of thinking that more is automatically better — more guitars, more synth tracks, more vocals. Danny and Dwight knew that our music didn’t need that.”

Project and The Jeremy Carr Trio. Doors open at 7 p.m. In addition to music from three great bands, there will be several cool giveaways throughout the night. For more info, phone Crossroads at 724-1177.

music

Diversity Propels Black Kites

By Andy Stokes

Live Entertainment w/

Bart & Allen

Y

ou could call their music “angular math-rock,” but you would probably scare off a majority of potential fans. A better — and more accurate — description of Athens’ Black Kites would be “math-rock for those who didn’t pass Algebra I the first time through.”

“We’re really just trying to make all of our songs sound different, and appeal to a variety of people,” says Amy Burmeister, guitarist for The Black Kites. A quick rundown of some band favorites provides immediate proof for Burmeister’s claim, as Kites members cite influences from all over the alt-rock board.

“My favorite all-time band is the Pixies, and Michelle (Cox, Kites guitarist) loves Blonde Redhead.” Other members name-check everyone from baroque-pop tricksters Mercury Rev and The Flaming Lips to The Breeders’ grunge-pop goodness to The Replacements. And although their nearly allfemale lineup (Mike Barnes, bassist Susannah Barnes brother, is the group’s drummer and only male) draws the obligatory comparisons to other female art-rockers like Helium and P.J. Harvey, those comparisons don’t exactly peg the Kites sound.

All signs seem to point to uniform math-rock (the cover of the Kites independently-recorded debut, “Loki,” even bears a striking resemblance to Polvo’s 1996 masterpiece, “Exploded Drawing”), and while such comparisons won’t hurt the Black Kites growing popularity, they may provide new listeners with the wrong sketch of their sound. A closer listen finds their position on the post-alt rock map bridging the gap between that math-rock collective and Steve Albini-produced fuzz.

Although The Black Kites appear to be finding their own voice among the numerous musical acts that litter the Athens/Atlanta scene, it took the musical equivalent of a Chinese fire drill to propel the band in that direction. Just a few practices after the

group’s formation in 2001, Burmeister, Cox and Susannah Barnes decided to abandon the bass/violin/keyboard idea they initially approached for a more approachable sound.

Burmeister gave bass duties to Barnes, who dropped violin. Cox stepped away from the keyboards, and she and Burmeister picked up guitars for the first time. (Burmeister spent several years with Athens’ favorite indiemetal group, Jet by Day, prior to the majority of her work with The Black Kites.) “On ‘Loki,’ it was the first band I’ve played guitar in,” says Burmeister. “I’m just starting to feel comfortable onstage with a guitar.”

The instrument switch did the trick, and the late 2002 addition of vocalist Joie Hoke from Atlanta neo-prog rockers 3d5spd and drummer Brody Boyer, formerly of Your American Math, completed the band’s sound. The majority of 2003 was spent recording “Loki” with Chris Hoke, Joie’s husband and bandmate in 3d5spd, sitting in as producer. Soon after the release of “Loki,” Mike Barnes replaced Brody Boyer behind the drumset. Since “Loki’s” release in November 2003, The Black Kites have toured tirelessly, building a solid fanbase and preparing a new demo to accompany “Loki” in the search for label support.

Now, The Black Kites have made it through their infancy and have their youth to look forward to, and Burmeister seems to have successfully found the correct balance of power in a band. “I think a band works best when people in that band recognize their strengths and weaknesses, then the band’s leader, their lyricist, someone who’s good at keeping contacts and setting up shows, all of those duties will emerge,” she says. “And with us, whoever feels the strongest about a certain decision, the rest of the band will understand and go that way. I’m really happy with where I’m at right now. These guys are my closest friends.”

Bring Your Sweetheart to 300 Shartom Drive, Martinez

(behind Applebee’s on Washington Road)

860-0698

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Every Wednesday Night Win Up to $600 Cash and a Chance to Win a 3 Day Photo Shoot for Venus Swimwear in Jacksonville, Fla.

Thursday Nights Ladies Drink Free w/$5.00 Cover $2.00 Domestics and $2.25 Premiums $1.00 14oz. Draft Every Night

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706-560-9245

43

THE BLACK KITES APPEAR AT THE SOUL BAR FEB. 19. FOR MORE INFORMATION ON THE SHOW, VISIT WWW.SOULBAR.COM.

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 12, 2004

COYOTE’S

“Where Variety is the Spice of Life”

music by turner

T

he wait is over. Almost two years after her breakthrough, Grammy-award winning disc “Come Away With Me,” NORAH JONES’ “Feels Like Home” is in stores. Thirteen songs that include 10 originals and three wellchosen covers from the likes of TOWNES VAN ZANDT, TOM WAITS and DUKE ELLINGTON make up her sophomore effort. Many of these new songs were debuted on her last two tours and show a bit of change (the addition of strings on some of the songs are a nice touch) for the New York native. As reported earlier in these pages, able assistance is provided by backing musicians that include DOLLY PARTON, “Don’t Know Why” writer JESSE HARRIS and LEVON HELM and GARTH HUDSON from THE BAND.

Are You SEEKING

a CHALLENGING

CAREER?

Enjoy People?

Thrive Under Pressure?

Multi-task in Your Sleep?

We are LOOKING for YOU! METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 12, 2004

Inquire about new job opportunities with the RESUME & COVER LETTER Metro Spirit P.O. Box 3809 Augusta, GA 30914

706.738.1142

44

ALL REPLIES CONFIDENTIAL

We told you last week it might happen. Two southern dates of interest have been announced for this year’s big Grammy winner BEYONCE, who, along with MISSY ELLIOTT and ALICIA KEYS, will visit Charlotte’s Coliseum March 27 and Philip’s Arena in Atlanta the following night. Fans are strongly advised to check Ticketmaster.com regularly for announcements concerning tix for these shows as they will go extremely fast. After all, these three ladies have enough talent so that they don’t have to make boobs of themselves like some other female “entertainers” do these days.

It is obvious that everyone is tired of the horrifically overblown JANET JACKSON Super Bowl fiasco, but why should anyone be surprised? After all, she has a new single that’s just been “accidentally leaked” to radio and a tour in the works which explains the “any publicity is good publicity” theory of business. However, let’s not forget: MICHAEL is her brother and LATOYA her sister. I guess we should all finally be grateful for MARLON and TITO. Slowhand and Long Fingers Dept.

Next month brings a very special ERIC CLAPTON album. ROBERT JOHNSON, one of Clapton’s major influences since the Brit guitarist’s early days in the YARDBIRDS and JOHN MAYALL’s BLUESBREAKERS, will be the featured songwriter on “The Robert Johnson Songbook.” Clapton recorded various Johnson tunes with Mayall (“Ramblin’ On My Mind”) and CREAM

B Y

E D

Beyonce (“Crossroads”) and this time around will tackle “Love In Vain,” “Traveling Riverside Blues” and even local music guru MIKE ALLEN’s favorite Johnson piece, “Stop Breaking Down Blues.”

It’ll reach the stores March 23. Get your slide out and play along.

One final word on last week’s column concerning the most recent JAMES BROWN “problem.” One is never supposed to kick a person when they are down, but James must remember that there are many, many Augustans who have been waiting for years for him to finally get up. Make it the good foot this time, OK? Turner’s Quick Notes MELISSA ETHERIDGE has a newie out, “Lucky,” which we’ll review next week … Look for Augustan-turned-star JOSH KELLEY’s “Everybody Wants You” to be featured in the upcoming flick “The Prince In Me” … Another PRINCE, the former symbol-named one, shocked the Grammy crowd with a ripping take of the now 20-year-old song “Purple Rain” … Blues great KEB’ MO’ has “Keep It Simple” new this week … ASU prof and sax man extraordinaire ROB FOSTER has a strong and very enjoyable CD, “How’s That,” recorded with the RUSSIAN DRAGON BAND out now. ERIK HARGROVE guests … HENRY ROLLINS’ new DVD, “Live at Luna Park,” is in the stores this week. It’s almost as frightening as the man himself.

Turner’s Rock ‘N’ Roll Jeopardy A. This number one single was used in the film “Reality Bites.”

Q. What is “Stay” by Lisa Loeb.

OPENING FEBRUARY 16

Counting or Black Ones? Dept.

“A Crow Left of the Murder,” the new INCUBUS disc issued last week, contains a bonus DVD that contains live material, brief “making-of” films and other goodies. The band’s fifth album proves that it is growing with each release. The band visits Japan for an extensive tour beginning in March.

A string of dates for the U.S. is planned for this summer.

T U R N E R

s g tin

h g i S

Terany Jackson and Maggie Gifaldi at Metro Coffeehouse.

amson

ohn S e and J d o o g o To oom.

Tamera r Tap R e t a lw il at St

Troy Camp bell, Meliss a Tatum and Paul T atum at th e Soul Bar.

d Jeff Bris Lisa Dill an .

Modjeska

tol at

Frank and Katie Robles at the Soul Bar.

ncisco ez and Fra d n a n r e F Jennifer ater Tap uel at Stillw L. San Mig Room.

Miranda Pokvzywinski, Amy Grant and Nancy Marchalk at Bell Auditorium.

45

Photos by Michael E. Johnson

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 12, 2004

Tammy Kelly and Nicole Fitzgerald at Stillw ater Tap Room.

Mario Enriquez and Halley Flynn at Modjeska.

music

music minis Justin Timberlake To Make Movie They’re beginning shooting next month; it’s called “Edison,” and it will contain Morgan Freeman, Kevin Spacey and rapper LL Cool J. The film is scheduled for release next year, but you know how the movie industry is. Or maybe you don’t.

Expect it to be released as much as six months to a year later than “they” expect and under a different title.

Note to the Jackson Kids Michael, Janet – go home. We don’t want to play with you anymore. Especially you, Mike. Git. Songbird in a Cage Diana Ross. Alcohol. Car. Police officer. Forty-eight hour jail sentence, 36 hours of alcohol abuse treatment, a year of probation and a $852 fine.

Spector Defense Holds Fingernail Hostage Ex-defense attorney for Phil Spector, the music producer accused

of fatally shooting actress Lana Clarkson in his home a year ago, refuses to turn over the dead actress’ fingernail. According to sources, detectives missed it in their sweep of the place, and attorney Robert Shapiro nabbed it. It is reportedly stained with gunpowder, which is reportedly very useful for figuring out how the actress was shot.

Death Pool The latest issue of Blender magazine, which hits newsstands next week, features an article entitled, “When Will Your Favorite Rock Star Die?” Gerontologist David Demko has agreed to step up for the cause, predicting death dates based on musicians’ lifestyles. Just think: We have to endure Courtney Love for another 22 years, Whitney Houston for another 18, Ozzy for the next nine and Clay Aiken for an additional 57 years. However, one star has outlasted his death prediction: Demko determined Keith Richards should have been out of here by 1995.

COMPILED BY RHONDA JONES AND LISA JORDAN

Information compiled from online and other music news sources.

THANK YOU

46

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 12, 2004

For Supporting Our Advertisers

CD Reviews

By Andy Stokes and Lisa Jordan

Sun Kil Moon – “Ghosts of the Great Highway” (Jetset) Those familiar with wistful genius Mark Kozelek’s previous work with the underappreciated Red House Painters and occasionally as a solo artist will know exactly what to expect with the debut from Sun Kil Moon.

The Red House Painters never really gave neighbors a reason to complain about the noise, and “Ghosts of the Great Highway” finds Kozelek and his new band (drummers Tim Mooney from American Music Club and Anthony Koutsos from Red House Painters, as well as bassist Geoff Stanfield from Black Lab) still keeping it down.

Enlisting the help of musicians from familiar territory helps Kozelek effortlessly replace the earthy tones from the Red House Painters days with more ethereal, dreamy ones. As the album’s title suggests, each cut is a window to a different area of Kozelek’s past, like the album’s opener, “Glenn Tipton,” which compares Cassius Clay to Sonny Liston and Judas Priest guitarists K.K. Downing and Glenn Tipton, then moves on to Kozelek’s dad’s love of Clark Gable movies and the passing of a local donut shop owner.

Nearly every line on “Ghosts of the Great Highway” could be imagined as effective as poetry on the written page. The album does have its less delicate moments, and the songs “Salvador Sanchez” and “Lily and Parrot” borrow the heaviness of stoner-rock guitar tone but resist the urge to match that genre’s tempo. Instead, these songs creep along at the sluggish pace of a desert caravan.

Although Kozelek picks up an acoustic guitar for about half of the album and an electric for the rest, most of the songs could go either way — it’s Kozelek’s refined Neil Young-like drawl that will rightfully get the most attention. The album’s peak comes on “Duk Koo Kim,” a gorgeous, near-15-minute epic about an earlymorning dream sequence that begins with a cascading wash of lightly distorted guitar. At the five-minute mark, the song takes a quick left, and the gentle tapping of xylophone and strumming of Portuguese guitar hold the listener in sonic limbo, slowly adding layers of

kaleidoscopic guitars until the song’s close.

It’s easily one of Kozelek’s finest recorded moments.

“Ghosts of the Great Highway” is a brilliant, phosphorescent piece of a man’s memory captured on tape. It is as tragic as it is beautiful, perfect in that it invites the listener in, and though it is a dolorous album, it avoids over-moping and ends before there’s even a suggestion of triteness. Kozelek’s voice proves to blend as well with otherworldly effects as it has in the past with stripped-down sound of previous ventures.

And while this album is a detached, pensive look at one’s own past, it’s not an entirely regretful look back, but instead more of a refusal to move forward and a relishing of past events, both the bitter and the sweet.

— A.S.

Scarlet – “Something To Lust About” (Ferret Music) Does no one sing anymore? It must be out of vogue – apparently, all you have to do to get a record deal these days is to make like you’ve just heard the Pee-Wee’s Playhouse word of the day and “scream real loud!”

Case in point: Scarlet. Their album, “Something To Lust About,” is nothing more than one long scream punctuated by guitar chords which are mangled beyond recognition. Thankfully, the fun only lasts for six very short songs.

The simple lyrics are populated by the imagery that lurks in the mind of every disgruntled teen-age boy: nicotine, caffeine, coke, porn stars, decay, dismemberment and yes, even “a junkie’s tract mark.” I guess disgruntled teen boys don’t have time to break out the dictionary when there are lyrics to be written.

The only track on the album that doesn’t start out with a piercing shriek is “Sell Yourself,” which begins eerily quiet and quickly goes downhill in a screaming frenzy as the only 11 words in the song get repeated over and over again, capped off by a real, live “RAWR!” Unless your hormones are still yo-yoing out of control, steer clear of “Something To Lust About.

-L.J.

AFTER DARK

Photo Credit: Jimmy Carter

SHAMELESS DAVE AND THE MIRACLE WHIPS PLAY FEB. 13-14 AT THE BLIND PIG.

The Bee’s Knees - Meditate on This!

Blind Pig - Pat Blanchard and Broad Street Jam Cafe Du Teau - Bernard Chambers Club Argos - Karaoke Dance Party Coliseum - Miss Valentine Pageant, Lauren Alexander Continuum - Playa*Listic Thursday Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads - 212 D. Timm’s - The Section Finish Line Cafe - DJ Fox’s Lair - Andy McCraw Greene Streets - Karaoke Hangnail Gallery - The Kilpatrick Project, A Wilhelm Scream, Much the Same The Helm - Karaoke Jeremy’s Nightclub - R&B Talent Showcase Joe’s Underground - Pete Locals - Preston and Weston Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Modjeska - The Comedy Zone, DJ Casey The Pourhouse - National Party Tyme Karaoke Competition, Augusta Lynx Post-Game Party Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Rusty Shannon’s - Karaoke with Peggy Stillwater Tap Room - The Wiyos Surrey Tavern - The Big Mighty Wheeler Tavern - DJ Dog

Back Roads - DJ The Bee’s Knees - Projections and Selections Blind Pig - Shameless Dave and the Miracle Whips Borders - The Kilpatrick Project, My Dear Allison Cafe Du Teau - Bernard Chambers Charlie O’s - Live Band Club Argos - The ‘80s Strike Back, Claire Storm, Peg Coconuts - Bikini Contest Coliseum - Gabriel’s Red Party Cotton Patch - John Kolbeck Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads - Level 8 D. Timm’s - The Section El Rodeo - DJ Sontiago Finish Line Cafe - DJ Fox’s Lair - Dennis Hall Greene Streets - Karaoke Highlander - Gruv Union Honky Tonk - DJ Doug Romanella Jeremy’s Nightclub - Old School R&B, Jazz, Spoken Word Joe’s Underground - Keith “Fossill” Gregory Marlboro Station - Braisia Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Modjeska - DJ Kenny Ray Ms. Carolyn’s - The Horizon Partridge Inn - Kari Gaffney, Jeff Williams

The Pourhouse - The Recaps featuring Sassy Brass Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Rusty The Shack - DJ Chip Shannon’s - Bart Bell, Allen Black Soul Bar - ‘80s Night Stillwater Tap Room - Boo Hoo Ramblers Surrey Tavern - Playback featuring Tutu D’Vyne Wheeler Tavern - DJ Dog

Saturday, 14th Back Roads - DJ The Bee’s Knees - Peace, Love and Understanding Blind Pig - Shameless Dave and the Miracle Whips Cafe Du Teau - Bernard Chambers Charlie O’s - Live Band Club Argos - Valentine Party, Underwear Contest, Stephanie Ross Coliseum - The Stable Boys Male Revue Coconuts - DJ Tim Cotton Patch - Forest and Jeff Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads - Bind, 212 D. Timm’s - The Section Finish Line Cafe - DJ, Karaoke Fox’s Lair - Edmond Kida Greene Streets - Karaoke Honky Tonk - DJ Doug Romanella, Sexy Legs

Contest, Valentine’s Day Party Jeremy’s Nightclub - Jazz, R&B Joe’s Underground - Red-Headed Stepchild Last Call - DJ Richie Rich Little Honky Tonk - Buster Hymen Band Locals - Blind Draw Marlboro Station - Claire Storm Metro Coffeehouse - Live Afternoon Bluegrass with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Modjeska - Passion with DJ Kenny Ray Partridge Inn - Sandy B. and the All-Stars The Pourhouse - The Recaps featuring Sassy Brass Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Rusty The Shack - DJ Buckwheat Shannon’s - Bart Bell, Allen Black Soul Bar - Amores Perros with DJ Zapatista Stillwater Tap Room - The Ryan Cavanaugh Trio Surrey Tavern - Playback featuring Tutu D’Vyne Villa Europa - Armen Boyajian Wheeler Tavern - DJ Dog

Sunday, 15th Cafe Du Teau - The Last Bohemian Quartet Marlboro Station - Miss Valentine’s Day Pageant with Miss Peg Orange Moon - Smooth Jazz Sunday with Emery Bennett Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Rusty

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Friday, 13th

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 12, 2004

Thursday, 12th

The Shack - Karaoke with DJ Joe Steel, Sasha Shannon’s - Roulette Somewhere in Augusta - John Kolbeck T.G.I. Friday’s - Brandon Bower Wheeler Tavern - Karaoke with DJ Dog

Monday, 16th Coliseum - Q.A.F. Continuum - Monday Madness Fox’s Lair - Open Mic Greene Streets - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Ruskin Michael’s - Mike Swift

Tuesday, 17th

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Adams Lounge - Keith “Fossill” Gregory The Bee’s Knees - Heliocentric Cinema Coliseum - Tournament Tuesday D. Timm’s - The Section Fox’s Lair - Open Mic Greene Streets - Karaoke Jeremy’s Nightclub - Old School Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Keith “Fossill” Gregory Metro Coffeehouse - Irish Night with Sibin Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Shannon’s - Family Karaoke Night with Tony Howard Surrey Tavern - Tuesday Night Jam Session with Pat Blanchard and Friends

Wednesday, 18th The Bee’s Knees - 12*Tone Lounge Blind Pig - Sabo and the Scorchers Coconuts - Karaoke Coliseum - Wacky Wednesdays Continuum - Open Mic Jam Sessions Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads - Honestly, Jeremy Carr Band, The Kilpatrick Project D. Timm’s - The Section Fox’s Lair - Karaoke, Open Mic Greene Streets - Karaoke The Helm - Karaoke Imperial Theatre - Jimmy Scott Jeremy’s Nightclub - Spoken Word, Jazz Joe’s Underground - Keith “Fossill” Gregory Last Call - Tony Howard Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock

The Pourhouse - Karaoke with The Pourhouse Friends Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Rusty Shannon’s - Tony Howard Somewhere in Augusta - Ruskin Yeargain Soul Bar - Live Jazz, Jimmy Scott After Party Surrey Tavern - Pat and Adam

Upcoming Ghoultown - Hangnail Gallery - Feb. 19 Danny Shirley and Confederate Railroad Honky Tonk - Feb. 19 Sean Costello - Blind Pig - Feb. 20 Cadillac Jones - Soul Bar - Feb. 21 Buck Cherry - Julian Smith Casino - Feb. 24 Willie Nelson - Augusta-Richmond County Civic Center - Feb. 28 Male Revue - Club Argos - Feb. 28 The Woggles - Soul Bar - Feb. 28 Anthony Gomes - Blind Pig - March 6

Elsewhere Yonder Mountain String Band - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta - Feb. 12 Robert Earl Keen - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta Feb. 14 MXPX, Simple Plan, Billy Talent - Tabernacle, Atlanta - Feb. 14 O.A.R. - Tabernacle, Atlanta - Feb. 20 Hank Williams III - Masquerade, Atlanta - Feb. 26 Lou Rawls - Anderson Theatre, Marietta, Ga. Feb. 27 A.F.I. - Tabernacle, Atlanta - Feb. 28 Willie Nelson - Macon City Auditorium, Macon, Ga. - Feb. 29

Many tickets are available through TicketMaster outlets, by calling 828-7700, or online at www.ticketmaster.com. Tickets may also be available through Tix Online by calling 278-4TIX, online at www.tixonline.com or at their outlet location in Southgate Plaza. Night Life listings are subject to change without notice. Deadline for inclusion in Night Life calendar is Tuesday at 4 p.m. Contact Rhonda Jones or Lisa Jordan by calling 738-1142, faxing 736-0443 or e-mailing to rhonda.jones@metrospirit.com or lisa.jordan@metrospirit.com.

Sing a Love Song to your Sweetheart at Augusta’s Only Karaoke Bar

48

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Is there a movie in your future this weekend?

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Weir d

W

hile the Statue of Liberty remains shuttered for lack of $5 million in postSept. 11 upgrades, Congress in January mandated $10.7 billion in “earmarked” projects (also known as home-state “pork”), including $50 million for an indoor rain forest in Iowa, $50 million to make sure a Florida beach resort bridge remains toll-free, $450,000 to decipher the gene structure of rainbow trout, $225,000 to repair a public swimming pool whose drain U.S. Rep. Jim Gibbons of Nevada clogged with tadpoles when he was a kid, $200,000 to introduce golf to youngsters, $90,000 for the Cowgirl Hall of Fame and, ironically, $500,000 for a University of Akron program that analyzes how Congress makes difficult budget decisions.

“It Must Be a Sign” (all new) Pilgrims recently flocked to the following places: (1) Brancaleone, Italy, to see a lifesized bronze statue of the recently sainted Padre Pio supposedly weeping blood (December); (2) Passaic, N.J., to see a 2-foothigh tree stump whose shape resembles the Virgin Mary (October); (3) Bridgeport, Conn., to see a stain-like image on the ceiling of the Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Church resembling the Virgin Mary holding baby Jesus (December); (4) Bethlehem, to see a baby born with a birthmark across his cheek resembling the Arabic letters of the name of his uncle, a Hamas militant killed by Israeli soldiers (December).

Least Competent Criminals In January, Trilane A. Ludwig, 24, called his mother from jail in Clark County, Ala., and asked that she grab the $500 from his wallet at home and come bail him out. As he almost certainly knew, the $500 was oversized, poorly made counterfeit bills, which put him in even more trouble. And in December, Tony Lee Hinrichs, 40, was arrested in Mesa, Ariz., based on video of him in the act of burglarizing the Extreme Surveillance shop; Hinrichs appeared not to be aware that the company is a security firm that might be expected to have cameras set up.

Our Litigious Society • Brenda and Ronald Sager of Mount Pleasant Township, Pa., filed a lawsuit against Wal-Mart in January for their pain and suffering after a plastic grocery bag broke open and its contents fell on their toes. The Sagers said the allegedly overstuffed bag contained a 32-ounce jar of Miracle Whip, a 46-ounce bottle of ketchup, three 15-ounce cans of fruit, an 18-ounce bottle of ranch dressing and a 12-ounce jar of mustard.

• Former policeman George Gilfillan won the equivalent of about $155,000 in an Edinburgh, Scotland, court in August against a widower for a neck injury he suffered when

his patrol car collided with the widower’s late wife’s car, which had gotten in the way of Gilfillan’s pursuit of a drunk driver. Gilfillan won the money even though the judge said he was going too fast and even though part of the money was for Gilfillan’s “depression” over witnessing the woman die.

• Charles R. Grady sued Frito-Lay in 1993 after he suffered an esophageal tear and bleeding while swallowing a Doritos chip.

Grady has been trying for several years to be permitted to introduce as evidence a study by a retired University of Pittsburgh chemical engineering professor who measured the downward force and quantity of saliva necessary to chew and swallow a Dorito and found them dangerously hard and sharp. In December 2003, the Pennsylvania Supreme Court sided with Frito-Lay, saying the professor’s testing was not “generally accepted” science and therefore was not admissible.

Courtroom Follies • Going beyond bar associations’ supervision of lawyers’ competence, clients Denzil Dean (in Clayton, Mo.) and Robert Butler (Toronto, Ontario) exacted their own remedies for what they believed to be their attorneys’ substandard performance. Dean, complaining in court in January that he did not want Richard Hereford to represent him, punched Hereford in the mouth, and Butler, complaining in court in December about delays in his case, punched out attorney Iryna Revutsky.

• Practitioners of the Santeria religion are such a presence in Miami area courtrooms, where they spread white dust on the furnishings to bring good luck to their friends and relatives, that attorneys have begun to complain about their higher dry-cleaning bills.

Also found from time to time in those courthouses: remnants of Santeria-sacrificed chickens and goats, and mysterious candle formations. In a recent case, Haitian defendant Emmanuel Etienne claimed that his deceased victim had the power to turn himself into a headless donkey by “expelling three flatulents.”

Another Geographic Center of Weird Tampa, Fla.: Driver Terry Lee Crouch, 29, accidentally ran over his 6-year-old son while, he told police, playing a game in which the boy tries to cling to the rear bumper while Crouch starts and stops the car attempting to dislodge him (November). And in Largo, Fla., according to police, a 41-year-old woman offered to pay three teenagers $20 to come beat up her son (but told them to be careful with the furniture) (January).

— Chuck Shepherd © United Press Syndicate

Brezsny’s Free Will

Gaze in the mirror and whisper a flood of sweet nothings. Give yourself thoughtful, surprising gifts.

And finally, propose marriage to yourself and perform a wedding ceremony in which you promise to cherish and honor yourself until the end of time.

Astr ology ARIES (March 21-April 19)

Happy Valentine Daze, Aries! Here’s an important bulletin from poet Emily Dickinson: “Until you have been in love, you cannot become yourself.” I’d like you to try that revolutionary idea on for size, Aries. Do this experiment. For a given period — say the coming week or the next 10 years — act as if the only way you can ever find out who you really are is to lose yourself in sublime yearning for a worthy partner. Assume, for the sake of argument, that one of the best strategies for becoming the unique masterpiece you were born to be is to help a person you love become the unique masterpiece he or she was meant to be.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

Happy Valentine Daze, Taurus! The Goddess of Love, Aphrodite herself, has asked me to remind you that you have always been in love. You will always be in love. In fact, it is impossible for you not to be in love. You’d be unable to get out of bed each morning unless there were someone or something that roused your heart and stirred your imagination. So please just admit that you are alive because of love; that you are made of love. Now write a list of the 10 things you love most, and devote some time in each of the next seven days to expressing your appreciation.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

Happy Valentine Daze, Gemini! After careful meditation about what advice would be most likely to energize your love life, I’ve decided to suggest that you say your prayers while having sex with a saint in a sacred place. If you can’t manage all that at once, at least try praying while doing the wild thing, or fooling around with a saint, or making out in a church or temple or talking dirty to God. One way or another, Gemini, you should blend earthly pleasures and spiritual aspirations. Here’s a quote to write on your mirror or your forearm: “I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love.” Henry Ward Beecher.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

Happy Valentine Daze, Cancerian! After strenuous meditation about what advice would be most likely to heat up and deepen your love life, I’ve decided you need a stiff challenge. That’s why I’m inviting you to have an epic showdown with your fears about love. What keeps you from stripping away your outmoded inhibitions and brazenly exploring the mysteries of attraction? What doubts prevent you from enjoying regular soul-to-soul gazes with your ancient future? Wouldn’t you love to shed your psychic armor and summon the chutzpah to whisper in someone’s ear, “I’m not afraid to ask for everything.”

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

Happy Valentine Daze, Leo! After careful meditation about what advice might galvanize your love life, I’ve decided to share a thought from Jewish mystic Lawrence Kushner. “Everyone carries with them at least one piece to someone else’s puzzle,” he wrote in his book, “Honey from the Rock.” In other words, you have in your possession certain clues to your loved ones’ destinies — secrets they haven’t discovered themselves. And in my astrological opinion, it is the right time and place to hand over those clues — to make a gift of the puzzle pieces that are most needed by the people you care about. So search your depths for insights you’ve never communicated. Tell truths you haven’t found a way to express before now. More than you know, you have the power to mobilize your companions’ dreams.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

rowdy, as a 1 Second in a child series 38 Strapped 5 Ship to 39 Signature tune remember 44 Spill 10 Saudi citizen consequence 14 Singular person 45 Solo for Renata 15 Spirit Scotto 16 Showroom 46 Sort of cuisine sample 47 Snaps again 17 S 52 Select 20 Squab 53 Skirt style alternative 54 Schaffhausen’s 21 Shortstop of river fame 57 ’s 22 Significant period 63 Sporting blade 23 Started moving 64 Stockpile 27 Sea or way 65 Scoreboard ending postings 29 Screenwriter 66 Series of legis.

James meetings 30 Sister of Thalia 67 See eye to eye 31 Sexy person 68 Sour fruit

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE I V A N S W I S P B O D S

V I X E N

O N I C E

R E S T A R O M E D E A O S R A N O A N T T I O O N N P E E

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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Happy Valentine Daze, Sagittarius! After careful meditation about what advice might beautify and elevate your love life, I’ve decided to offer you these insights. 1. “We are not the same person this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.” - W. Somerset Maugham. 2. “People often start by falling in love, and they go on for years without realizing that love must change into some other love which is unlike the original.” - Iris Murdoch. 3. “Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.” - Ursula K. Le Guin. 4. “A successful marriage is an edifice that must be

Happy Valentine Daze, Virgo! After careful meditation about what advice might purify and supercharge your love life, I’m making this suggestion: For one week, concentrate all your passion and ingenuity on learning to love yourself better. Write at least one love letter and one love poem to yourself. Treat yourself to pleasures that relax your intelligence and open your wild heart.

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You can call Rob Brezsny, day or night, for your

Expanded Weekly Horoscope

1-900-950-7700

$1.99 per minute • 18 & over • touchtone phone required • C/S 612-373-9785 • www.freewillastrology.com

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the Minotaur” author

N O 26 Scale’s top, sometimes S E 27 Skillful act 28 St. Louis sight S 32 Still woolly N A 33 Similes’ relatives R E 34 Stunning

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PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

Happy Valentine Daze, Pisces! After careful meditation about what advice might enrich your love life, I’ve decided you need a more joyously rowdy and rambunctious approach to togetherness.

Consider the possibility of making love with funny hats on while watching “The Simpsons,” or shaving each other in the bathtub while singing tunes from Broadway musicals or getting naked at the breakfast table and trying to throw Cheerios in each other’s mouths while an instructional CD in how to speak Esperanto plays in the background.

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AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Happy Valentine Daze, Aquarius! After careful meditation about how I might help you perfect your love life, I’ve decided that all you need is my authorization to be more mercurial and improvisational. So here’s a Turkish proverb for you to try on for size: “To prepare for love, learn to run through snow, leaving no footprints.” Next, see how much fun you can stir up by taking to heart this Italian proverb: “Love rules without rules.”

Finally, Aquarius, experiment with this advice from motivational author, Sark: “Love imperfectly.

Be a love idiot. Let yourself forget any love ideal.”

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SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Happy Valentine Daze, Scorpio! Is it really love?

That’s always a good meditation subject for you passion addicts. Here are some guidelines. 1.

“Love asks you beautiful, unanswerable questions.”

- Carl Sandburg. 2. “Love brings to life whatever is dead around us.” - Franz Rosenzweig. 3. “Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other.” - Rainer Maria Rilke.

4. “Love is the only game where two can play and both win.” - Erma Freesman. 5. “Falling in love is a lot like dying. You never get to do it enough to become good at it.” - My Scorpio friend Elise. 6.

“Love is like a well in the wilderness where time watches over the wandering lightning.” - Pablo Neruda.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Happy Valentine Daze, Capricorn! After careful meditation about what advice might fertilize your love life, I’ve decided to alert you to two practical principles. The first comes to you courtesy of philosopher Rollo May: “We receive love roughly in proportion to our capacity to love.” In other words: To be adored more, adore more. Your second utilitarian theorem was immortalized by the character Dicky Fox in the movie “Jerry Maguire.”

“If you don’t love everybody,” he said, “you can’t sell anybody.” In other words: Your most effective strategy for getting what you want is to feel tender affection for the whole world.

41 Smeltery input 42 “Seduction of

43 Station ration 47 Sprints 48 Split to unite

56 Seneca’s

being

For Supporting Our Advertisers

58 “So that’s it!”

49 Speeders’

59 Slot filler in a

50 Stud fees

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51 Sun. talk

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55 Spanish boy

62 Shelley work

penalties

THANK YOU

gearwheel

For answers, call 1-900-285-5656, $1.20 a minute; or, with a credit card, 1-800-814-5554.

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METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 12, 2004

New York Times Crossword Puzzle

ACROSS

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Happy Valentine Daze, Libra! I’m hereby declaring a love emergency. Right now you need love more than you need food and drink. More than that: You need to crave love with an almost crazed lyrical ferocity . . . with a reverent, burning hunger that some traditional astrologers would say Libras aren’t capable of. At this pivotal moment, you’ve got to find a way to claim Erica Jong’s subversive words as your own: “Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk everything, you risk even more.”

rebuilt every day.” - Andre Maurois.

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METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 12, 2004

Truite en “Bleu” mountain trout sauteed, topped with Gorgonzola blue cheese sauce, nested on braised leeks, spinach and new potatoes $16 Gigot d’Agneau Provencale the most tender part of the leg of lamb, with garden fresh herbs de Provence and garlic, with flageolet beans and natural jus $16

ast year, I had a one-night stand with a guy I’d gotten to know online. I was very attracted to him, mentally and physically.

Apparently, he didn’t return my feelings, because he blew me off totally — probably because of my significant weight problem and my deep insecurity about it, which made our encounter extremely awkward. (I wouldn’t have dated me either.) Well, that night was part of a big wakeup call that my weight was getting in the way of who I really am. I’ve since lost 85 pounds, and revamped other areas of my life. I’m happier and more confident than I’ve ever been. I recently saw the guy at a club. Although he didn’t recognize me immediately, he did remember me and asked for my number. He’s called several times, and I don’t answer even though I want to. Is it OK to want to give him another chance? The vast majority of my friends say no way, while 25 percent are in the “yes” camp. I look, feel and act like a totally new person, but the catch is, I’m not.

— Less Is More Guys are not standing around at parties, whispering to each other, “Wow, get a load of the personality on the girl across the room with the butt zoned for two-family housing.” The exception, of course, is in that dating Disneyland where the vast majority of your friends reside. In their world, nice men don’t even blink when they see a woman whose scale suggests she has a Shetland pony strapped to her back. There, “Sports Illustrated” swimsuit models run into the hundreds of pounds, and get hoisted onto the beach with heavy-duty cranes. Victoria’s Secret girls are chosen by how closely they resemble Drew Carey when the lights are dimmed.

Back here in the real world, fat girlfriends don’t go over so big — and, no, not because men have been brainwashed into wanting thin ones, but because they were hard-wired that way back in the cave. According to anthropologist Donald Symons, cross-cultural data says men seem to partner up with whatever-sized woman will make them look like Joe Alpha.

The ideal amount of body padding appears to go up and down with the food supply. Here, where there’s a 7-11 next to every 7-11, guys go for girls who are slim-to-fading. Where food is harder to come by, like in Eskimo country, blubber is beautiful.

Serving Augusta Since 1987

404 Telfair • Downtown Augusta • 722-4805 www.lamaisontelfair.com Open Late on Show Dates

It’s a big world, filled with people in need of years of therapy. If they all had the flu, they’d take pains to avoid spewing their germs on you.

Unfortunately, few people feel such restraint about their raging mental health issues. To increase your odds of finding a woman who has completed the 12-step program for her childhood toilet training trauma, find dates through friends. You wouldn’t hire somebody without references; dating should be no different. Then again, dating is a numbers game. Beyond getting fixed up, be relentless in trying to meet women: talk to them everywhere, throw parties, arrange group gatherings for friends and friends of friends. On the bright side, the more crazy women you date, the more likely you are to find a sane one. (Or go nuts yourself, considerably increasing your options.)

— © 2003, Amy Alkon

Got A Problem?

Write Amy Alkon 171 Pier Ave. Box 280

Wine Spectator Award of Excellence 2001/2002/2003

No, you don’t have to look like a breadstick to have a boyfriend, but 85 extra pounds and all the heavy thoughts that went with them were enough of a barrier to make you un-dateworthy even to yourself. But do remember, four score and five pounds ago, this guy did think enough of the you buried under all that flesh to want to meet. Now, after viewing the impressive results of your recent excavation, he’s hot for the whole package. This is a problem?

Your real problem is your method of decisionmaking: a mini Gallup Poll. Extend this to other areas of your life, and it should make even the simplest errands exceptionally slow: “Paper or plastic?” — “Um, hold on ... lemme phone a few friends.” Chances are, you still see yourself as the fat girl, and you’re looking to your friends to tell you how thin girls are supposed to think.

Well, the happiest ones think for themselves.

The question isn’t what’s the right thing to do, but what’s the right thing for you? Just a guess, but maybe it’s answering the ringing phone, going out with a guy you like, who also likes you — now that he can find you.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– I’m a single male exec, 32, no kids, hardworking, active, happy with my life.

Despite dating heavily in search of Miss Right, I’ve only found Miss Wrong, Miss Not Right Now and Miss Can’t Get Over Him And It’s Been Nine Months. I don’t need a cover girl, just a normal, happy woman who wants to share a happy life. Why is this so impossible?

— Wrong Again

Santa Monica, CA 90405 AdviceAmy@aol.com

To become a member, call 1-888-223-7044 To listen and respond to ads, call 1-900-226-8908 Calls cost $1.99 per min., Must be 18+.

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To respond to ads using a LOOKING FOR LOVE SWF, 24, blonde/brown, attractive, compassionate, easygoing, desires SWM, 24-34, honest, open-minded for friendship and companionship. !323553 DON’T PASS ME BY SHF, 18, 5’1”, 126lbs, short/brown, would like to meet a guy for bowling, dancing and romance. !463061 WHOLE LOTTA LOVE SBF, 33, would like to share movies, dinners, quiet evenings at home, the usual dating activities, with a great guy. !463610 MORE THAN AVERAGE Slender SBF, 53, 5’2”, independent, Aries, smoker, loves music, conversation, laughter.

Seeking independent, mature SBM, 48-65, for friendship first. !369627 A LOT TO OFFER SWPF, 39, 5’2”, 155lbs, loves, sports, dining out, cooking, movies, walks in the park, playing pool, travel, dining out. Seeking young man, with similar interests, for friendship and companionship. !321666 ENVELOPING EMBRACE Kind-hearted SBCF, 52, non-smoker, enjoys dining out, attending church. Seeking loving SBCM, 52-65, with similar interests. !287845

SEEKING ADVENTURE SWPM, 44, 6’2”, slender, Sagittarius, smoker, loves to travel. Seeking woman, 18-30, slender or average-sized. !910584 LET’S TALK! SBM, 19, 6’, 145lbs, looking for a female, 1829, who is down-to-earth, knows how to have fun! !900587 COUNTRY DWELLER DWM, 38, 5’9”, 170lbs, brown hair, with 3 children, body shop collision technician, N/S, likes old cars, tractors, and motorcycles.

Seeking country girl, 28-42, for LTR. !821552 LET ME LOVE YOU SWM, 37, 6’, 200lbs, Cancer, N/S, in construction work, loves camping. Looking to meet a nice WF, 40-60, with whom to share what lovers do. !908620

We Purchase Fine Swiss Watches, Estate Jewelry and Diamonds.

Monday-Saturday 10am-9pm 2635 Washington Road | Augusta, Georgia 30904 | 706.738.7777 www.windsorjewelers.net I LOVE MY DOG... but I can’t take her to the movies. Puerto Rican SHM, 22, 5’9”, long curly (sometimes braided) hair, smoker, works in collections.

Seeking BF, 18-40, for friendship, possible romance. !914936 SEEKING SOMEONE SPECIAL SBM, 61, Virgo, smoker, likes reading, movies, dining out, travel. Seeking outgoing, caring woman, 18-55, with similar interests, for LTR. !850674 MAYBE YOU’RE MY LADY Honest, friendly SM, 46, auburn/green, likes scuba diving, motorcycles, travel, Elvis, documentaries. Seeking SF to share happy times, talks, and possible relationship. !776373 LOOKING FOR MS. RIGHT SWM, 37, 5’9”, 180lbs, enjoys biking, sports, travel, dining out. Seeking outgoing, attractive SF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. !557954 TENDER, LOVING CARE SWM, 40, enjoys sports, hanging out and just having fun. Seeking a lady who needs more romance in her life. !895728 ARE WE A GOOD MATCH? SWM, 37, brown/blue, Leo, smoker, enjoys outdoor sports, Nascar. Seeks caring woman, 25-50, who wants to be treated like a queen. !891638 CONTACT ME! DM, 34, 160lbs, sandy blond, would like to meet a female, 19-38, for movies, dining, and more! !891732 MUST LOVE THE LORD SBM, 56, 5’7’’, N/S, likes sports, gospel music, exercise, steak. Seeking SBF, 39-42, N/S, for friendship first, see what develops. !891808

A NEW YEAR SBM, 29, 5’7”, 145lbs, with a handsome face, seeks a woman who is petite, pretty, and occasionally crazy, to hang out, maybe more. !884263 YOU AND ME SHM, 30, 5’7”, black/black, with tanned skin, enjoys sports, and is looking for a woman, 2032, to share the fun stuff of life. !881180 PLEASE, PLEASE ME SWM, 32, N/S, N/D, is looking for a woman, 27-35, with a petite build, to share good times, conversations and maybe more. !871092 AVERAGE JOE SWM, 52, is in search of a woman who enjoys games of golf, riding motorcycles, trips to the beach, or anything with the right guy. !861645 ARE WE A MATCH? SWM, 42, 6’1”, 180lbs, brown/blue, enjoys classic rock, movies, dining, and more.

Seeking nice, friendly SW/HF, 30-47. !965931 GIVE ME A TRY SBM, 30, Virgo, N/S, likes reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports. Seeking outgoing, caring woman, 18-40, N/S, with similar interests, for LTR. !851101 ONE SIMPLE WOMAN? SBM, 41, Leo, smoker, retired military and fireman, seeks SHF, 20-50, smoker, with simple tastes, for dating and possible relationship. !844123 GIVE ME A CALL SWM, 40, 5’8”, 185lbs, salt-n-pepper/green, N/S, enjoys fishing, horseback riding, stargazing, martial arts, reading, quiet times home.

Seeking that special woman to share life, laughs and maybe love. !834688

YOU HAVE 6 NEW MATCHES

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M B D F H C LTR

Male Black Divorced Female Hispanic Christian Long-term Relationship

G W A S J P N/D N/S

Gay White Asian Single Jewish Professional Non-Drinker Non-smoker

53

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METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 12, 2004

COULD THIS BE YOU? SBF, 45, 5’4”, full-figured, Taurus, N/S, enjoys church, dining out, reading, and quiet times at home. ISO BM, 45-65, N/S, for LTR. !810309 CLOSER TO FINE SBF, 58, retired school teacher, N/S, enjoys traveling and tv. Seeking BM, 50-65, educated (high school at least, please), who enjoys having good clean fun. !909981 ISO CHRISTIAN VALENTINE SWCF, 61, outgoing, Libra, N/S, seeks SWCM, 59-65, with whom to share Christ, friendship, and laughter. Must be family-oriented, kind, outgoing, emotionally/financially secure. Let’s give our friendship a try. !911830 TALL BROWN SUGAR SBF, 25, 5’9”, N/S, enjoys movies, concerts, quiet times, and good music. Seeking WM, 23-30, N/S, no children. !906840 WANNA DANCE? SWF, 57, seeks dance partner for Salsa and Square Dancing! Any size, shape, big or tall, short or small, matters not! It’s the footwork that counts! Beginner-intermediate level. !898986 BE MY TEDDY BEAR SWF, 32, 5’3’’, 180lbs, auburn/blue, no kids, never married, enjoys movies, sports, travel, dining, bowling, cuddling, quiet evenings.

Seeking honest, romantic SBM, similar interests, for dating, possible LTR. !894568 WAITING FOR YOU SB mom, 24, Virgo, seeks a man for days at the park, the mall, or at the movies, and spending time with family and friends. !883496 LOOKING FOR YOU SWF, 37, 5’6”, Scorpio, N/S, enjoys mountains, bowling, the beach and music. Seeking WM, 35-48, N/S, to be a companion, friend. !456544 FIRST TIME AD! Employed SBF, 35, no children, wants to meet a laid-back, spontaneous man, 33-41, race unimportant, to get to know as a friend and maybe progress to more! !280007 I WANT TO LOVE YOU SBF, 18, 5’2”, Cancer, enjoys writing poetry, walks on the beach, hanging out and enjoying life. Seeking BM, 18-24, who will treat her right, and expects the same in return. !880193 ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE Honest SWF, 28, 5’10”, 210lbs, blonde/blue, enjoys classic rock, horror movies, and quiet nights at home. Seeking SW/HM, 18-40, for friendship, possible LTR. !874789 LOVE OF LIFE Attractive, classy, vivacious SWCF, 50ish, N/S, N/D, seeks SWCM, N/S, N/D, who is honest, financially/mentally secure, and ready for commitment. !875741 JAZZY MISS Slender and attractive SBPF, 31, loves music, conversation, travel. Seeking kind, friendly, honest and family-oriented SBM, 30-38, for fun times. !865339 HIKER HEAVEN SWF, 45, full-figured, N/S, enjoys church, exploring, old movies, auctions, and gym.

Seeking WM, 46-56, N/S. Let’s make tracks together. !807679

SIMPLE KIND OF LIFE SWF, 34, listens to country and oldies music, and wants to meet a man to cuddle up on the couch and watch a good movie, or enjoy other simple pleasures. !860787 LOOKING FOR ME Female, 34, Leo, smoker, seeks man, 25-38, for romance, real friendship, with similar interests, possibly more later on. !844726 OLD-FASHIONED LADY SWCF, 48, 5’3”, 150lbs, blonde/green, Scorpio, N/S, enjoys church, Bible studies, music, dining out. Seeking SWCM, 35-60, N/S, for friendship and more. !840939 DREAM GUY SBF, 29, searching for open-minded, outgoing SM, 22-38, military man A+, for friendship, fun nights out, dancing, talks and maybe more. !836990 SOMEONE TO LOVE SWF, 48, enjoys a good horror movie, a drama or a comedy. Seeking a man for romance, quiet times at home, or just dancing the night away! !832399 ADVENTUROUS MOM SBF, 29, Cancer, N/S, loves beaches, horror movies, and horseback riding. Seeking man, 25-40, N/S, strong-minded, who loves kids. !808682 LOVES TO BOWL WF, 48, petite, Capricorn, N/S, enjoys Chicano cuisines. Seeking WM, 46-59, N/S, very outgoing, for LTR. !806136 HI! I’m a 49-year-old SWF and I WLTM a onewoman’s man, very lonely person. I WLTM a gentleman who would to be good to me and treat me w/kindness and gentleness. !793024 A VERY SERIOUS WOMAN SBPF, 34, mother of 3, nurse, independent and secure, enjoys church, movies, dining. looking for commitment-minded, level-headed, spiritual, spontaneous, respectful man, who truly appreciates a good woman. Sound like you? !777612 AQUARIUS SEEKING SWF, 46, 5’6”, smoker, enjoys cuddling, movies, gardening. Seeking honest, handsome SWM, 40-50, with similar interests, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. !759515 THE LORD, ABOVE ALL SBCF, 38, Pisces, N/S, in the medical field (works private duty), would like to meet SBCM, 38-50, who shares my love of the Lord, for LTR. !727626 TRAVEL, ANIMALS... and movies make me happy. SWF, 53, Capricorn, N/S, loves the fall and spring and visiting Gatlinburg, TN. Seeking WM, 55-56, for LTR. !728854 SEARCHING FOR MR RIGHT SBPF, 39, Libra, loves church, traveling, movies, and dining out. Seeking SBPM, 3760, for possible LTR. !421273 FRIEND IN FAITH SBF, 47, Capricorn, N/S, involved with church, very creative, artistic, designs tile and cards.

Seeking BCM, 44-58, involved with church, who loves the Lord. !707742 YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO SBF, 39, Leo, N/S, seeks BM, 38-45, down-toearth, very direct and straightforward, to have fun with. !582549 SINGLE MOM SEEKING SBF, 20, Gemini, N/S, mother of twins, likes going to the park, spending time with family, going to the mall, movies, seeks compatible SBM, 18-35, N/S. !532672 WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE? SWF, 48, Cancer, N/S, seeks WM, 40-56, who wants to have a great relationship. Why not give me a call? You never know. !511453

To become a member, call 1-888-223-7044 To listen and respond to ads, call 1-900-226-8908 Calls cost $1.99 per min., Must be 18+.

To respond to ads using a

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 12, 2004 54

HEART OF GOLD SWM, 31, 6’3”, 210lbs, brown/blue, enjoys reading, movies, travel, sports. Seeking outgoing, attractive SF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. !556440

ACTIVE SBM SBM, 49, Pisces, N/S, enjoys bowling, movies, playing sports, seeks compatible BM, 30-46, N/S, with similar interests. !846543 DOGGONE LOVEABLE SWM, 37, Gemini, smoker, nature and animal lover (especially puppies), seeks outgoing, down-to-earth man, 20-70, for friendship. !909184 FUN-FILLED DAYS AWAIT SBM, 24, enjoys taking trips, nice restaurants, fun evenings, dancing, quality time together.

Seeking masculine SBM, 20-55, for possible relationship. !894435 LOOKING FOR COOL CAT... to converse with. SBM, 34, Capricorn, N/S, game and drama-free, seeks BM, 26-48, serious-minded, with sense of direction in life. !889038 LET’S GET TOGETHER GWPM, 37, 5’9”, brown/brown, who enjoys reading, movies, politics, entertainment, seeks a guy for dating, possibly growing into more. !883365 HEALTHY AND FIT SBM, 25, 5’5”, 170lbs, masculine, nighttime inventory stocker, Capricorn, N/S, enjoys working out. Seeking energetic, passionate, masculine WM, 20-50, N/S. !708544 GREAT PERSONALITY SBM, 18, 6’3”, 220lbs, masculine build, seeking SBM, 18-29, very masculine, energetic, fun-loving, to go out for dinners, walks and more. !627150 EASY TO TALK TO SWM, 48, loves good Italian or French cuisine, and is looking for a man who is easy to get along with, for romance. !870126 SEEKING SPECIAL GENTLEMAN SBM, 33, 6’2”, 245lbs, Taurus, N/S, likes movies, camping, music, reading, sports.

Seeking out GM, 35-48, for friendship, possible romance. !824261 I WANT TO MEET YOU! GBM, 32, 5’7”, average build, Pisces, N/S, likes reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports. Seeking outgoing, caring GWM, 2445, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. !850885 SEEKS MAN WITH DIRECTION GBM, 33, Capricorn, N/S, seeks understanding, level-headed, secure GBM, 25-48, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. !854633 INTERESTED? Independent SWM, 37, 5’8”, 150lbs, brown/brown, would like to meet fun-loving, honest, real, professional, secure female to share dates, talks, walks, dinners and romance. !848764 FUN TO HANG AROUND WITH GWM, 52, 5’2”, smoker, enjoys playing pool, having fun, seeks outgoing GWM, 40-55, smoker, with similar interests. !844895 SEEKING SOMEONE SINCERE GWM, 42, 5’11”, 175lbs, brown/blue, somewhat masculine, outgoing and friendly, likes dining out, travel, movies and shopping.

Looking to meet honest, passionate SBM, with similar interests, for dating, possible LTR. !769411 FRIENDSHIP FIRST GWM, 26, 5’3”, athletic build, N/S, likes sports, working out, travel, reading, swimming. Seeking non-smoking GW/AM, 20-26, with similar interests. !764332

How do you

SEEKING FRIENDSHIP SBM, 6’1”, 214lbs, enjoys indoor activities.

Seeking masculine SW/BM, honest, sincere, who is looking for new friendships. !737679 RELAXING AT HOME SBM, 35, Virgo, N/S, likes relaxing at home, fun, concerts, trips going to the beach. Seeks fun, spontaneous SBM, 26-37, N/S. !532700 TAKE A CHANCE GWM, 43, 6’2”, 195lbs, black brown, seeks other GWM, for fun times and maybe something more. !493530 LET’S MEET FOR COFFEE Good-looking GWM, 36, 6’, 200lbs, muscular, tan, enjoys working out, yard work, spending time with my dogs. Looking for attractive SM, 32-48, for dating, maybe leading to LTR. !436231 ME IN A NUTSHELL WM, 18, brown/blue, medium build, looking for fun, outgoing, energetic guy, 18-30, for movies, hanging out, quiet evenings at home, and more. Friends first, maybe becoming serious. !425471

READY TO HAVE FUN! SF, 25, seeks femme, 25-35, race not important, who is nice, pretty, slim. Let’s talk and get to know one another! !895256 WAITING FOR YOU SBF, 19, is in search of a friend first, maybe more with time, with a lady who likes to get out and have fun. !874312 LOVES CHILDREN Easygoing, nice SF, 32, looking for someone with the same qualities, 29-39, and a people person. !388943 ONLY A WOMAN WILL KNOW GBF, Capricorn, N/S, likes reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports. Seeking outgoing, caring GWF, 27-52, N/S, with similar interests, for dating and more. !850614 THE SWEETEST THING SBF, 26, 5’8”, 145lbs, wants to get out and have fun with a new friend, maybe more with time. !832018 1 YOU’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR BiWF, 27, enjoys everything, promises you won’t regret it. If you’re looking for a good time and friendship, I’ll be perfect for you. !830500 PLAYS GUITAR, WRITES... poetry, and rollerblades.

NativeAmerican/African-American female, 18, 5’5”, 117lbs, very toned, laid-back, a goofball at times, N/S, seeks woman, 18-29. !818596

WHY WAIT? SWF, 38, 5’6”,140lbs, short brown hair, easygoing, enjoys playing golf, the beach. Seeking feminine female, 20-40, to have fun times and more. !448489

BONEVILLE BABE SWF, 31, 5’5”, 130lbs, brown/green, smoker, enjoys playing golf, movies, and picnics at the lake. Seeking WF, 25-40, for friends, possibly more. !818908

DIVA WITH DIMPLES Independent DWF, 23, Gemini, smoker, enjoys hip-hop, R&B, and country music.

Seeking WF, 20-30, smoker, for friendship, possible romance. !808179 GET TO KNOW ME SBF, 25, Taurus, N/S, enjoys movies, travel.

Seeking woman, 21-30, N/S, for friendship, possible romance. !803723 A LOT TO OFFER Non-smoking GBF, 37, N/S, seeks very attractive, unique, romantic, fun, intelligent, feminine GF, 27-37, for friendship, dating, possibly more. !749660 A NEW BEGINNING Attractive and outgoing SWF, 5’ 5”, Athletic build, 20, Aquarius, smoker, loves the outdoors, camping and hiking. Seeking WF, 2150, for LTR. !751226 JUST THE FACTS SBPF, 41, Libra, N/S, seeks PF, age and race unimportant, who enjoys dining out, quiet times at home, and movies, for LTR. !730225 ENJOYS BOWLING SBF, 32, Gemini, N/S, 5’3”, 145lbs, mother of one, enjoys movies, the mall, dining, going out to eat, bowling, quiet times at home, seeks woman, 21-38, for friendship, possible romance. !646271 BEAUTIFUL AND FEMININE GWF, 32, 5’7”, 135lbs, enjoys reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports, music, movies. Seeking GWF, 25-39, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. !329063

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DARE YOU TO ENJOY LIFE SWM, 35, 5’10”, with above-average looks, military officer, N/S, loves travel. ISO an exciting, adventurous woman, 22-50, N/S, who likes to have fun. !830590 LOOKING FOR YOU SBM, 34, 6’2”, 235lbs, N/S, loves cooking, and loves to romance you. Seeking woman, 20-40. If you’re reading this ad, let’s hook up. !815532 CAPRICORN SWM, 36, 5’10”, average build, smoker, seeks a sweet WF, 28-46, for friendship, possible romance. !818386 OPEN-MINDED, EASYGOING SWM, 27, 5’8”, 125lbs, blond/blue, smoker, loves pizza. Seeking WF, 25-45, smoker, for friendship, possible romance. !819355 HIDDEN TREASURE Male, 27, 5’9”, 160lbs, blond/blue, Aries, N/S, seeks WF, 18-30, a straight shooter, who can appreciate an authentic Mr. Nice Guy type. !819406 DOWN FOR WHATEVER SBM, 18, 5’7”, Scorpio, N/S, student, seeks BF, 18-21, N/S, with a good head on her shoulders. No games. !799082 OPEN-MINDED GUY SBM, 5’11”, 20, well-groomed, Capricorn, N/D, N/S, enjoys basketball, friends, dining, music. Seeking nice, real woman, 18-25, for LTR. !800701 I’M INTRIGUED...

Male, 5’10”, athletic build, 30, Scorpio, N/S, seeks woman, 21-48, with interesting views and something to say. !801577 DO YOU LIKE 2 TRAVEL SM, 59, sociable and fun, enjoys bingo, dining out, movies, travel, more. Seeking sincere, happy, spontaneous lady for possible LTR. !774081 STARTING OVER Non-smoking SM, 19, 5’11”, 155lbs, brown/brown, medium build, likes movies, travel, sports, reading, quiet evenings at home. Seeking outgoing, adventurous SF, 1821, N/S, for LTR. !752673 CALL ON MY Active, fun and intellectual SBM, 5’ 11”, Slim build, 20, Sagittarius, smoker, seeks woman, 20-24, smoker, for friendship, possible romance. !755250 CAN WE TALK ?

Spiritual SWM, 44, Capricorn, smoker, who enjoys the Fall. Seeking AF, 30-50, for LTR. !755341 A LOT TO OFFER easygoing SWM, 5’ 11”, Athletic build, 23, Cancer, N/S, seeks woman, 18-35, for friendship, possible romance. !761055 CIRCLE THIS AD SWM, 5’ 10”, Average build, 45, Gemini, smoker, with salt-n-pepper hair, loves cooking. Seeking fun loving WF, 30-45, for friendship, possible romance. !762032 ACTUAL NICE GUY Independent, professional SBM, 5’ 9”, Average build, 30, Pisces, with a nice smile, N/S, seeks woman, 27-37, N/S, for friendship, possible romance. !751873 DONT PASS ME BY SWM, 41, Sagittarius, smoker, who enjoys cooking. Seeking Attractive WF, 30-50, to date. !752123 ACTUAL NICE GUY Handsome, outgoing, open-minded SWM, 5’ 11”, Average build, 51, Leo, smoker, enjoys traveling. Seeking woman, 40-50, for LTR. !733850 FUNNY GUY SBM, 30, 5’9”, brown/brown, medium build, N/S, into sports, movies, dining out, friends, quiet times. Seeking down-to-earth, romantic SF, 29-35, who knows what she wants. !718864 WELL-ROUNDED MAN Educated SBPM, 41, 5’11”, loves reading, working out, the arts, dining out, travel, quiet times. Would like to meet SWF, 30-45, with similar interests, for fun, friendship, and maybe more. !442021

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MARLBORO STATION Aiken’s Ultimate Dance Club !

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Business Opportunity Incredible opportunity to help you earn residual income!

PT/FT training provided.

Call Me Today 888-742-1777 LeRoy NEX X Independent Rep www.phone222.com (02/26#8365)

Employment Rosedale Transport Needs OTR Drivers, both team and solo.

If you have one year experience, CDL Class A with haz-mat, good driving record. Home weekly, 1-800-486-3681 (02/12#8353)

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$1.00 D ra Every N ft ight All Nigh t

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STARLIGHT CABARET

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THUR - Dance Party FRI - Braisia

SAT - Claire Storm SUN- Miss Valentine’s Day Pageant Hosted by Miss Peg 141 Marlboro Street, N.E. Aiken S.C. • 803-644-6485

DOORS OPEN AT 8:00 THURS, FRI, SAT, & SUN • 8PM-2AM

18 to Party • 21 to Drink • No Cover With This Ad

www.metrospirit.com Equipment WOLFF TANNING BEDS

AFFORDABLE • CONVENIENT Tan At Home Payments From $25/month FREE Color Catalog Call Today 1-800-842-1305

C A R D R E A D I N G S

Mrs. Graham, Psychic Reader, Advises on all affairs of life, such as love, marriage, and business. She tells your past, present and future. Mrs. Graham does palm, tarot card, and Chakra balancing. She specializes in relationships and reuniting loved ones.

SPECIAL READINGS WITH CARD

Premier Entertainment Complex & High Energy Dance Music

341 S. Belair Rd. Open from 9 a.m. til 9 p.m.

Call (706) 733-5851

Professional Massage By experienced male.

Designed for healthy men 18 - 55 only.

A great way to rela x House & Hotel Calls Only 706-589-9139 (02/12#8347) Diamond Massage Therapy Dr. Scot tie Diamond and our qualified staf f of professionals of fer in home massage therapy, migraine relief, pedicures, manicures, & acne treatments. Your first acne treatment is free. We come to you at your convenience.

Call 803-827-9300 (02/19#8346)

Sewing by Sara Sewing, alterations, pillows & purses.

706-650-5974 (02/12#8367)

Poor Water Drainage?

• French Drains • Gutter Drains • Catch Basins • Erosion Control • Waterproofing • Crawl Space

GUARANTEED SOLUTIONS

Turn Your “Trash”* Into Cash!

Sell your unwanted items or advertise your garage or yard sale in Metro Spirit Classifieds.

Call 738-1142 We accept VISA or Mastercard. *And remember ... one person’s trash is another man’s treasure.

LICENSED • INSURED

706-869-9988

www.sundownconstruction.com Telephone Service Unlimited Long-Distance & Local Calling One Price, One Bill, One Company Keep Your Same Phone # Call 1-800-392-4050 Eula NEX X Independent Rep www.nex xrep.com/134741 (02/12#8354)

Travel Private Investigator RAY WILLIAMSON & ASSOCIATES Private Investigations 17 years experience Domestic Relations and Child Custody Cases Licensed and Bonded in Georgia & Carolina 706-854-9672 or 706-854-9678 fax (02/12#8359)

Metropolitan Community Church of Our Redeemer A Christian Church reaching to all: including Gay, Lesbian, and Transgendered Christians.

Meeting at 557 Greene Street, 11 am and 6 pm each Sunday. 722-6454 MCCOurRedeemer@aol.com www.mccoor.com (02/12#8128)

We want your dead junk or scrap car bodies.

We tow away and for some we pay.

706/829-2676

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Premier Investigations •Domestic •Child Custody •Background Checks 869-1667 (02/12#8366)

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 12, 2004

Email your classified ad to classified@metrospirit.com

Services

Wheels

Dead Bodies Wanted OR

706/798-9060

WANTED

The Formosan termite The most destructive structural pest in the U.S. is on its way to Augusta!

BE PREPARED WITH SENTRICON! If you are the first homeowner to report an infestation of

FORMOSAN TERMITES, Advanced Services will REPAIR your home for FREE (up to $2,000) and treat your home FREE for one year. Termite Swarms? Call us 24/7. We’re here to help.

Augusta • 737-4120 North Augusta • 278-4338

Aiken • 641-0144 Bugstopper.com