Metro Spirit 02.21.2013

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EVENTS CALENDAR JENNY IS WRIGHT

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COVER DESIGN: KRUHU

Contributors Greg Baker|Sam Eifling |Kristin Hawkins |Rhonda Jones nes |Austin Rhodes|Josh Ruffin|M Ruffin|Mat Ruffin|Matt Stone|Adam Wadding|Jenny Wrig Wright

o r t e m IR P S

INSIDER RUFFIN’ IT AUSTIN RHODES

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Metro Spirit is a freee newspaper published publis weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks eks a year. Editorial coverage includes local ocal al issues and news, arts, arts entertainment, entert people, places and pectrum. The he views do not necessarily represent present the views of the th publisher. publish Visit us at metrospirit.com. m.© events. In our paperr appear views from across the political and social spectrum. ner/Publisher: Joe White. Legal: Phillip Scott Hibbard. Reproduction or use without permissio p person, perso please. 15 House, LLC. Owner/Publisher: permission is prohibited. One copy per

CONTENTS

EDGAR’S GRILLE (INSERT LOCATION IN THE CENTER OF THIS WEEK’S METRO SPIRIT)

EricJohnson|news editor eric@themetrospirit.com

GabrielVega|lead designer gabe@themetrospirit.com

BrendaCarter|senior account executive brenda@themetrospirit.com

AmyChristian|arts editor/production director amy@themetrospirit.com

JoeWhite|publisher joe@themetrospirit.com

JohnnyBeckworth|circulation manager johnny@themetrospirit.com

Michael-RKQVRQ_VLJKWLQJV Valerie(PHULFN_ZULWHU Amy3HUNLQV_HGLWRULDO LQWHUQ Laura3HUU\_YROXQWHHU KristinHawkins|editorial intern

WHINELINE

billion a year operating cost and 3 billion decomissioning We need a giant can of Raid cost. No utility is willing to to make the Bradfly go away. use MOX fuel even though the government has offered to pay them to take it. SRS The Savannah River Site MOX facility is now estimated already has an operating vitrification facility that can to cost $7 billion dollars, dispose of the plutonium at a 412% increase from its original $1.7 billion estimate little to no additional cost. Our country’s spending is out and its still at least 5 years away from completion. That of control because even our fiscal conservatives Lindsey does not include the 1/2

Graham, Joe Wilson, and Clint ever thought Jeff Gordon Wolfe love hometown pork. would be Qualified as an “Old Timer”! The Gray Hair Saturday Night’s “NASCAR is Showing! But! He Starts Unlimited Race” debuted the Second! AND! It’s a “CO-ED “Gen 6 Race Car”! This New RACE”! Car looks like it will bring the Old-Time Excitement It’s so pitiful that so many back to NASCAR Racing! politicians get corrupted. Danica Patrick has the Pole There’s Jesse Jackson the for Sunday’s DAYTONA 500! disgraced, thieving son of “Grandpa Jeff Gordon” is the true civil rights leader. right beside her! Who’d have Too bad that son and his wife

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Clean Sweep: Quidditch tournament flies into town

o r t e m IRIT SP were so greedy. He’d better get some jail time in. What happened to the weekly free will astrology section every week? Thats the main reason me and my mom have gotten the spirit for years. Please bring it back! (continued on page 38)

Looking West Again: Augusta Regional Airport hopes to reconnect with Dallas in wake of airline merger What’s in a Name?: Marketing money and name confusion stir controversy over TEE Center

Two Cents Worth: County deals with loss of state money What’s in a Name?: Marketing money and name confusion stir controversy over TEE Center

Want to advertise in the Metro Spirit? 706.496.2535 or 706.373.3636

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INSIDER@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM Insider is an anonymous, opinion-based examination of the hidden details of Augusta politics and personalities.

Thunder Road

SIDER Simon Says

During the discussion of the annual plan for the TEE Center at last week’s Finance Committee Meeting, Augusta Riverfront President Paul Simon once again lectured commissioners on the basic details of their convention center. He’s done it several times before, but this time there was a sense of patient finality about it. After all, the Certificate of Occupancy had been given and the inaugural event was just days away. Signing off on the annual plan was nothing but a formality insisted upon by anxious commissioners desperate to retain at least the appearance of control. Formality or not, it was yet another hoop for Simon to jump through, and once again he jumped.

Paul Simon

He knows how to play the game, Simon does, and it seems now that everyone’s had to say “uncle,” people are starting to acknowledge it. While consistently viewed as the enemy by commissioners and observers to the process like Al Gray, the benevolent auditor who, unlike Joltin’ Joe, has not left and gone away but is instead very much able to be gazed upon by Augusta’s lonely eyes, Simon nevertheless received a compliment from one of the commission’s most outspoken critics of the project. “I just wish that we had somebody on the same level as you to negotiate with you on our behalf,” said Commissioner Bill Lockett. “I don’t blame you one bit — you’re a businessman and you’ve got to do the best you can for your business, but I just wish we had somebody on this side who would reciprocate.” Simon politely praised the city’s negotiating team, and because he’s so good at playing the game, it was impossible to know whether or not he was sincere.

As the combined efforts of local and state law enforcement has made Operation Thunder a blitzkrieg of combined traffic enforcement, it’s been entertaining to see the kneejerk cynicism rise up throughout much of the community. Given the rocky start to the Roundtree administration — his media policy, his Tahoe, his “posse,” his raise request to name just a few — it’s easy to understand how people might consider this all out assault on reckless and impaired driving as nothing but a PR stunt. And while there’s no doubt the operation will do some of the things critics grouse about — it will raise money for county (though not the department) and it will certainly help boost the department’s numbers — it is also addressing a real, community wide problem. Underline community wide. Though it’s true Operation Thunder is doing nothing to curb the downtown violence that’s getting almost as bad as those in Columbia County imagine it to be and it’s committing no resources toward stopping Harrisburg’s shootings or preventing guys from taking chainsaws to their neighbor’s dogs, these stops and fines and arrests are going a long way toward opening people’s eyes to the irresponsible and dangerous behavior that’s going on all around us, no matter where we live or where we might want to go. It’s obviously sad but undeniably true that, for many of us, the Rules of the Road have to be taught the way of the Rules of Life are taught to children — through punishment, embarrassment, repetition and by engaging that inner nag that is our better selves.

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Just SCRAM! “You guys totally missed the point on the Sentinel piece you wrote. You know Judge (redacted)’s wife works for the monitoring company her husband puts on everyone who comes in front of him?” Well. Yes and no. That is one of the biggest rumors in Augusta. Can we prove it? No. But we have heard it from law enforcement, attorneys, probationers who claim Sentinel employees told them, people on the street and in anonymous phone calls like the one we received above. Looking at the Thomas John Barrett case, the absurdity of Joseph Heller’s novel “Catch-22” comes to mind. Catch-22. A problematic situation for which the only solution is denied by a circumstance inherent in the problem or by a rule. Arrested for shoplifting a $2 can of beer April 12, 2012, Mr. Barrett entered a plea of no contest on July 3, 2012. Having been homeless for three years, he was unrepresented by counsel. Under the sentence imposed by the court, there were no restrictions concerning the consumption of alcohol. He was, however, required to submit to an electronic monitoring device for six months and required to pay a startup fee prior to his release from jail. Barrett was brought back before the Court on August 2, 2012, and ordered to remain held for 45 days before being brought back before Judge Watkins. Barrett ultimately paid money to Sentinel in order to be released from jail and in order to start his SCRAM monitoring. In the meantime Barrett completed his community service with the soup kitchen. On November 21, Sentinel swore out a warrant to have Bennett arrested based on his failure to pay court-ordered fines, fees, restitution and failure to comply with court ordered SCRAM, even though SCRAM was not ordered in his original sentence ($1,002 in SCRAM not paid). “Catch-22 states that agents enforcing Catch-22 need not prove that Catch-22 actually contains whatever provision the accused violator is accused of violating.” Another character explains: “Catch-22 says they have a right to do anything we can’t stop them from doing.” Barrett lives at the Bon Air apartments on public assistance, receives food stamps and sells his plasma to raise money to pay Sentinel. (Sentinel’s electronic monitoring device — the ankle bracelet — costs a probationer $6 per day with an $80 start-up fee. Sentinel’s SCRAM fee is $12 per day, plus start-up fees, and requires a separate land phone line.) Sentinel has quoted the GSA the same monitoring device at $2.53 per day. A quote from Sentinel for SCRAM in Marion County, Indiana, was a total of $6.70 per day. It doesn’t take a math wiz to run the numbers on profitability. Keep in mind it costs the taxpayers of Richmond County almost $50 a day to keep someone in jail. Also keep in mind that if you live in Richmond County, your tax dollars are supplying the muscle to squeeze as much money as possible from people like Barrett for the benefit of a for-profit company. That is where rumors come in. How is it permitted? What judges are ordering electronic monitoring for misdemeanor offenses?

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Quick and Dirty The Second Amendment

What with the rash of senseless, completely preventable murders sweeping the country for the past few years — preventable by stricter regulatory measures, mind you, not by turning every elementary school into Reba McIntire’s basement from “Tremors” — you’d think the gun advocates, egg-soaked faces and all, would be scaling back the inflammatory rhetoric a bit. At the very least, you’d think they acquiesce to a minor conciliatory measure like universal background checks — for which NRA czar and greasy napkin impersonator Wayne LaPierre advocated just 10 years ago — or closing gun show loopholes as a show of good faith to the rest of the nation. Such measures would, after all, reduce the number of illegal firearms on the street, ensure that mentally unstable or proven dangerous individuals can’t get their hands on guns, and just generally make for at least a marginally more safe and peaceful nation. Which, you’d think, is what gun advocates, like the rest of us, want. You’d also be charmingly naïve. Judging from the way pro-gun citizens and political shills react to any sign of firearm regulation, we apparently live on a plane of existence at the crossroads of “The Patriot,” “Red Dawn” and “Tron.” Gay commies in pink jackboots lurk around every corner. Bartenders pour your Coors Light into fancy glasses. George Clooney is president. Gun nuts also love to use the Second Amendment as a framing device for their inane logic. It’s a smart move, since most people — gun nuts included — can’t be bothered to read the Second Amendment in the first place, and understand it in much the same way Ben Rothlisberger understands the concept of “mutual consent.” Trouble is, the Second Amendment is the shortest amendment out there, at only one sentence and a handful of clauses. And while brevity can in some cases circumvent complications (“no means no”), a statement like “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed,” leaves a lot of rhetorical wiggle room, and creates even more contextual complexities as social, economical and military-technological circumstances evolve. That quote, by the way, is literally the entire amendment. So I want to look at two of these contexts, and take a stab at illustrating why people like Wayne LaPierre and Ted Nugent are less the upstanding freedom fighters of yesteryear, and more tiny-penised wingnuts who spend their 4th of July tongue-kissing an Andrew Breitbart commemorative plate. 1. Militias Became Our Standing Army We were a young, brash country. We still are, in the grand scheme of things. But remember, when the Constitution was drafted in the late 18th century, America was fresh off of what was essentially a hail mary win over the British in the War for Independence. Keeping that in mind, there are a few things to consider. First, the U.S. army was essentially one giant collection of militias, an almost clichéd group of ragtag outfits, generally run by and operating in each of the 13 colonies. A Continental Army was established in 1775, with about 20,000 enlistees by year’s end, but a third of that number was still comprised of integrated militiamen. Militia, then, were essentially the foundation of the

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Revolution’s military component, and it would have stood to reason — to late18th century minds — to not limit the ability of the nation to keep and regulate one, as that was the context under which the army had been formed. This is the part of the amendment that far-righters love to crow about. But here’s the thing: we have a “well-regulated militia,” and it’s called the United States Armed Forces. National Guard units are essentially state affiliates. There are also local and state police, highway patrol, K-9, the ATF, the FBI, etc. Anyone jonesin’ for a little militia action can get their fix in one of those organizations. But we have to keep ourselves free from tyranny, right? Well… 2. This Is as Free as Freedom Gets A lot of this ultra-reactionary talk from the right has been happening since Obama took office, and there are real world implications: gun sales spiked following both the 2008 and 2012 elections, a statistic that stems from two things: Obama’s continued status as “other” to social conservatives — as well as true political conservatives who are in the power-perpetuating-power business — and his willingness to actually tackle difficult issues like gun control. Historical precedence exists for this irrational fear that survivalists and gun advocates harbor that Obama is going to confiscate all their weapons in one fell swoop. You have to go back 350 years and cross an ocean, but it’s there. See, when the English Bill of Rights was adopted in 1689, it contained language to ensure that Protestants would not be disarmed by the king without Parliament’s consent. However, by slipping in a sidenote that such arms must be “allowed by law,” the bill really did little more than to assure the hunting rights of the aristocracy. So yeah, there’s a bit of quasi-justifiable paranoia encoded in patriotic DNA. But again, this line of argument that gun advocates trot out again and again, to defend “the security of a free state,” is hilariously partisan. When George W. Bush established the Patriot Act, probably the most invasive and downright unconstitutional bill ever signed by a sitting president, none of these people said a word. The same administration established the NDAA, which allows for the noquestions-asked apprehension and detention of American citizens by the federal government. Again, not a word. But threaten to limit magazine capacity or make it a hell of a lot harder to purchase automatic weapons, and bam — you’re a tyrant, a dictator, etc. The issue isn’t going away any time soon. The Supreme Court has heard relevant and tangential cases many times now, and will again, probably sooner than later. It seems, however, downright disingenuous and stubborn that for all the social progress we’ve made — on religion, civil rights, sexuality, etc. — we so wholeheartedly cling to centuries-old justifications on this one more thing. Maybe it’s all we have left. In which case, how sad.

JOSHRUFFIN, a Metro Spirit alum, is a published

journalist and poet who just received his MFA from Georgia College & State University. He was once the most un-intimidating bouncer at Soul Bar.

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What Is Legal Is Often at Odds with What Is Right If you think you have seen bad examples of blatant cronyism in local government in recent years, today’s politicians are rank amateurs when it comes to the elected officials of yesterday. But only on rare occasion have the petty attitudes and vindictive nature of some of our area leaders resulted in wholesale political upheaval at the polls. The Otis Hensley-inspired Columbia County Political Revolution of 1988 quickly comes to mind. That was a doozy. Every county elected official who had publicly challenged him on policy, or his politics, was tossed out by the voters, including the reigning district attorney. I love to call that Otispalooza. Only once, though, do I know of political shenanigans so disruptive and so unpopular that it inspired a specific Georgia State Constitutional Amendment to bring an end to it all. The year was 1982. The Richmond County Sheriff’s Department had seen three different sheriffs elected in three successive elections: Bill Anderson, Jim Beck and J.B. Dyches. With each election, and the defeat of an incumbent sheriff, there was turnover in the rank and file of the department that could easily be described as a bloodbath. Good officers were busted in rank, cronies and relatives were elevated without merit and it was all done with a vindictive mindset more interested in vanquishing the defeated than promoting the cause of good law enforcement. It sucked. After the third such “spring cleaning,” conscientious businessmen and concerned citizens raised enough hell with the legislative delegation to put the sheriff (and anyone who would become sheriff) on a leash. There was no precedent for challenging the powers of the sheriff to hire and fire who he pleases, as he pleases, but everyone involved knew that if they were going to do it, it would have to be done by voter-approved state constitutional amendment. And so it was. On November 2, 1982, the question was put to the voters, “Shall the Constitution be amended so as to authorize the General Assembly to create, by local law, a merit system of employment for all or some of the employees of the sheriff in Richmond County?” The final vote was 81.8 percent yes and 18.2 percent no. A certified landslide to get common sense involved in the personnel policies of the local sheriff. We were the only county in Georgia to do such a thing. In 1985, when the political powers-that-be saw Charles Webster become sheriff after J.B. Dyches was hauled to the federal pen for fixing tickets, they decided as someone they could control that it was okay to water down some of the powers of the departmental merit board that were granted to handle appeals of everything from promotions to

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terminations, and most actions in between. When the merit board was weakened in a measure authored by then State Representative Charles Walker, the plan was signed off on by every member of the legislative delegation, including Republicans Frank Albert and Dick Ransom. The new rule still allowed appeals of detrimental actions, such as demotions, suspensions or terminations, but eliminated the merit board’s role in reviewing unjust or illegitimate hires or promotions. And that brings us to where we are today, and the complaints of several dozen current lawmen and other concerned citizens, who say rookie Sheriff Richard Roundtree is bringing the bloodbath back in a sneaky way that would make the Manson Family proud. In his first few publicly announced personnel moves, Roundtree was very wise to ordain new Chief Deputy Pat Clayton, his former political rival Scott Peebles and veteran officer Robert Partain as the heart of his leadership team. A widely loved and respected trio (by most people with a brain, anyway), the announcement perhaps distracted from a whole lot of other moves just below the radar that should be enough to make any well-behaved veteran officer’s skin crawl. And boy, have they! Fired, demoted and disgraced officers, both on the force and outside the county, have been brought in, propped up, promoted and put in positions of authority in a way that defies logic, decency and common sense. And more appear to be on the way in. The merit board may not have the authority to review a promotion or a hire, but to all the hard working lieutenants and sergeants who just saw a scandal-plagued serial liar and all around loser promoted into a senior supervisor position, over them, I would argue that they may be the victims of an intentional adverse action of the sheriff, arbitrary and indefensible in nature, that screams for review at the least, and possibly a court challenge at the most. I have a list of these “misfits” the sheriff has pushed and promoted on the good people of Richmond County, and many of the lawmen slighted in their favor eagerly look forward to hearing these folks vetted properly and exposed for the poor officers they are and, by record and resume, have been for years. Is it illegal for Sheriff Roundtree to hire and promote rejects, flunkies, discipline cases and fools? AUSTINRHODES No. But it sure ain’t right. The views expressed are the opinions of Austin Rhodes and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

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ERICJOHNSON

Clean Sweep

Quidditch tournament flies into town

Get ready to see a lot of patterned scarves in town as Harry Potter fans converge on the Augusta area on March 2-3 to watch the first ever International Quidditch Association (IQA) Southern Regional Championship. Yeah, Quidditch. Fourteen collegiate and club teams from Florida to Tennessee will meet on the pitch at Riverview Park in North Augusta to compete for the chance to advance to the World Cup Quidditch Championships held next month in Kissimmee, Florida. Don’t believe it’s for real? Check out Quidditch on YouTube and you’ll get a taste of what it’s all about, and what it’s all about is capturing the magic of the sport popularized by the Harry Potter books, only without the magic. According to IQA Rulebook 6 — the most current version of the IQA rules — the muggle version of the sport is about as close as you can get to real Quidditch without flying broomsticks or magical snitches. Don’t know what we’re talking about? Read the series or watch the movies and it won’t take you long to wish you had your own Nimbus 2000. “The best way to describe it to the muggles is, it’s like water polo on a broom on a field,” says Brinsley Thigpen, CEO of the Augusta Sports Council, the organization that brought the championship to the Augusta area. “They’re throwing a ball with one hand and the broom has to be between their legs. Of course, they’re not flying, but they are running around with the broom and they’re tossing the ball.” 8

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The fact that no one flies is admittedly disappointing, but even grounded, the fast-paced sport is interesting. It was adapted by students at Middlebury College in 2005 and has grown steadily ever since. Currently over 800 teams compete in 28 states. And the snitch, that illusive winged ball of gold? In the muggle game, it’s a nonbiased participant dressed in yellow carrying a tennis ball inside a sock hanging from the back of his shorts. It’ll make sense when you see it. “What I love about it for Augusta and the reason I went after this event is because it’s obviously different, and there are hundreds of conversations going on around the city about it,” Thigpen says. If you look at the videos or go to the IQA website, you’ll quickly discover that Quidditch is an extremely competitive sport, but people who might not participate in traditional sports are getting involved in a nontraditional way. The IQA mission talks about it being a creative sport, and one of its hallmarks is Title 9 ¾, a combination of real-life Title IX and the fictional train platform in the Harry Potter books. Like their fictional counterparts, people of all genders play against each other. “I feel like the Augusta Sports Council has the opportunity to help foster maybe a new league or something within the community with the excitement of this event,” Thigpen says. Though she’s anxious for the tournament to grow interest in the sport, one of the things that tweaked her business sense was the fact that Augusta didn’t have a team of its own. “From an economic standpoint, all 14 of those teams that are traveling — none of them are from here,” she says. “They’re all coming and staying in

our hotels and eating in our restaurants and it will have a great economic impact on our city, which is our mission. It’s having a positive economic impact and it’s embracing the quality of life for our citizens.” Teams will be at Riverview Park from 10 a.m.6 p.m. both Saturday and Sunday, with a special “Kidditch” event for children from noon to 2 p.m. on Saturday. There, participants will loan children their broomsticks and teach them how to play, and if it develops into a scrimmage… well, there could be worse things than a pickup game of Quidditch, couldn’t there? “I really want people to come out and bring their kids for that, because again — that’s the type of sport your traditional athlete might not get involved in.” As part of the IQA’s outreach and the marketing efforts of the GRU students assembled to help 21FEBRUARY2013

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market the tournament, there will be a Quidditch on Ice performance between periods at Saturday’s RiverHawks game. “I think that’s awesome that one of our more traditional sports is adopting this to support the sport and to highlight the event,� Thigpen says. “And I’m sure some of our visiting teams will go, and that’s another economic win for our city.� Thigpen actually learned about Quidditch at a conference, where she met with the agency that markets the tournaments for the IQA. She came home, did a little research, and was impressed by what a good fit it seemed to be. She was also excited because she figured the novelty of it would bring some awareness to what the Sports Council does. “We’re trying to better the quality of life and the economic wellbeing for the city of Augusta, and I knew this was something that would do that,� she said. “It doesn’t have to be the largest golf tournament in the world, which I love because it encourages people to come to Augusta, but it can be Quidditch or it can be water polo or it can be adaptive swimming. We are out there working really hard to bring people to Augusta.� That includes site visits, and though it would be fun to find out what a Quidditch player looks for in a host city, the IQA site visit was obviously successful. “The representative from the IQA came and we drove them around and showed them all of what we have and now they love it so much they’re like, maybe one year we can have our World Cup here,� Thigpen says. “That’s

thousands of Quidditchers. I don’t know if that will ever happen, but that’s what we’re doing is trying to sell our community.� The long-term future of the sport is by no means secure, however. The first of the Harry Potter generation is now in college propelling the sport forward, but with the books and movies finished, it’s very likely that the Quidditch craze will fade away as quickly as it arrived. Still, why not take advantage of it while it’s here? “I think we have at least several more years, and while it’s at its peak, why aren’t we taking advantage of it?� Thigpen says. Having the attention of the city and the example of a few hundred participants dedicated enough to travel from places like the University of Miami, Tennessee Tech, the University of South Florida and Florida State could go a long way toward starting a team at GRU or maybe a youth league at the Family Y. “Even though I might laugh when I talk about it, I’m really passionate about it,� Thigpen says. “I really think that, if we bring it here and one or two people get involved, that’s awesome.� 10 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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Well, the darn thing doesn’t print‌ More specific? Well — let’s see — I’m in my Word, and I click on the printer button, and nothing happens. It’s usually does, but I just can’t get it to work this time. ‌ Well, I’ve only tried in my Word, so no, I don’t know if it’s the same problem in other programs. Is that important? You don’t think my computer is broke too? It can’t be broke. I just got the thing last week. How could a brand new computer be broken already?‌ No, I’m sure it’s probably the computer. The printer was working fine with my old computer. But ever since we brought the new printer, nothing has worked. ‌ Yes, I said new printer. ‌ The new printer is connected to the computer. ‌ No, the new printer works okay, I guess. We were hoping it would speed things up. Everything just runs so slow. ‌ No, no, no, sorry, it’s not my computer. You see, last week my boss got a great deal on a new computer from his brother-in-law who didn’t need it anymore. He had gotten one of those new iPhones or something. Anyway, my boss brought it in here and hooked it up. We were sure hoping it would help. ‌ I’m sorry — did I get all-scatterbrained again! My kids tell me that I do that from time to time. Yes, you’re right — the printer still doesn’t work. ‌ Okay. That’s fine. I’ll start over. When I click on the printer button, no paper comes out of the printer. ‌ No, that’s the only problem I’m having right now. ‌ Yes, this is the first time I’ve called you. ‌ Sylvia. My name is Sylvia. Thank you so much. You are being such a great help. ‌ You need to send someone here to look at it? Well, I was hoping someone could take a look at it today. We close in a couple of hours, and I really got to get this report printed. ‌ Oh, thank you so much for checking! ‌ Yes, I’ll wait right here. ‌ (hold music) ‌ Hello? Are you back? ‌ Oh my goodness, I was telling that other person about my printer and how I need to get my report printed. Are you going to be able to help me? ‌ Well, like I said before, it isn’t printing. ‌ More specific? Well, I’m doing everything that I normally do, it’s just now this time when I press the button it doesn’t print. ‌ I’m using my Word program. ‌ Yes, I’ve tried in all my programs. It’s just now nothing works. ‌ No, no, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be getting frustrated. ‌ I know, Sweetie, you’re going to do everything you can. ‌ When did it stop working? ‌ Well, like I was saying before, a few weeks ago, my brother-in-law gave my boss a great deal on his old computer. Now I don’t know what he wanted that old computer for, but he got it hooked up. Just between you and me, I really don’t think my boss is that good with computers. Lordy, it took him almost two hours to get it all put together! ‌ Now I don’t know that. That’s his computer after all. I wouldn’t want to be printing anything on that computer. ‌ No, of course not. I must be getting scatterbrained again. My kids are going to love to hear about this! This computer printer right here is the one that won’t print. ‌ We’ll it looks like it’s connected to some wires that run across the floor. ‌ It looks like they both go into the wall. ‌ You want me to go to my computer? But isn’t it the printer that’s not working? ‌ Okay. If that’s what you say. But is it important that the printer’s lights aren’t on? ‌ No, I don’t see any lights. ‌ Hold on for a second. I’ll check. ‌ Well look at that. Miss Scatterbrained again! Thank you so much! You’ve been such a wonderful help! Until next time, I’m off the grid @gregory_a_baker. GREGORY A. BAKER, PH.D, is vice president and chief rocket scientist for CMA, which provides information technology services to CSRA businesses and nonprofits. 21FEBRUARY2013

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I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME By Patrick Berry / Edited by Will Shortz

Not on deck, maybe R&D sites Unchanging Walk while dizzy Wimbledon champ Gibson Shakes up Very impressed Crystal Cave is one Common middle name E Day debuts Emergency Captain who says “Well, gentlemen, between ourselves and home are 27,000 sea miles” 65 Fill up on 66 Perfume sampling spot 67 Roman calendar day 68 Overused 69 One way to go to a party 70 “What a calamity!” 71 Inclination Down 75 Big East sch. 1 Not look perky, say 76 Proust’s “À la Recherche du 2 Visibility reducer Temps ___” 3 Skull session result 77 Sweet meet? 4 Comb row 79 Nabisco treats sold only 5 Ancient Roman author Quintus seasonally ___ 81 Hidden 6 In accordance with 84 Athens’s home 7 Goalie’s jersey number, often 85 1950s TV star Duncan 8 A Waugh 86 Do as expected 9 Human speech mimickers 87 Old World deer 10 Shearing shed sound 89 Body blow reaction 11 Swallow, as costs 90 World capital situated in what 12 Clearly low on patience was once ancient Thrace 13 Peter Pan rival 95 How bad news is often received 14 Not as content 96 Attests 15 Percussive dance troupe 97 “Music for the Royal Fireworks” 16 Musician’s rate composer 19 Will Geer’s role on “The 98 Open conflict Waltons” 100 End note? 21 Minus 101 Nickname of jazz’s Earl Hines 23 Refined 24 Animal whose head doesn’t make 102 Joins 103 Cheney’s follower a sound? 25 Common check box on surveys 104 Slow on the uptake 105 “___ Body?” (first Lord Peter 31 MTV’s earliest viewers, mostly Wimsey novel) 32 & 33 Plastic shields and such 110 Marine threat 34 Equal: Prefix 111 Skinny 35 Tangy salad leaves 113 Satisfied 36 Amendment guaranteeing a 114 “Breaking Bad” network speedy trial 115 Great Leap Forward overseer 37 Part of the front matter 116 BlackBerry buy 42 Mosaicist’s supply 117 Slam 44 South Dakota Air Force base

95 Pink lady ingredient 96 “The things I put up with!” 99 Buff 100 Somewhat redundant theater production? 106 Glinda’s creator 107 Clock face number 108 Repo justification 109 Core philosophy 112 Extremely redundant 1963 caper film? 118 “Ta-da!” 119 Patron saint of sailors 120 Cut and collect 121 128-character set 122 Job title abbr. 123 Cooper Union’s location, briefly 124 Haute cuisine it’s not 125 Chews (out)

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Across 1 Wallop 6 Gray piece 10 Cricket club 13 Fair-minded 17 “Funeral Blues” writer 18 “Pity is for the living, ___ is for the dead”: Twain 19 Kaplan of “Welcome Back, Kotter” 20 Info from a debriefing 22 Somewhat redundant 1965 country song? 26 Journalist Couric 27 ___ Lang, Superboy’s love 28 1951 Cooperstown inductee 29 Increases, with “up” 30 Somewhat redundant Milton Bradley game? 35 Show featuring the L.V.P.D. 38 Oktoberfest collectibles 39 Cotillion attendee 40 Power in sci-fi 41 Kneeler’s offering 43 Ambient musician Brian 44 Org. that fines polluters 45 Chicken bred for its meat 49 Somewhat redundant size? 54 Roof projection 55 Constitutional 56 Bedtime preyer? 57 “Nick News” host Linda 60 Song featured in “Animal House” 61 Bakery array 62 Reacted to a bad call 63 Mr. Bill appeared on it: Abbr. 64 Somewhat redundant 1960s spy series? 69 Sound of heartbreak 72 Picks up 73 Cartoon beagle 74 Hit the roof 78 Like some passages in a symphony 80 Elton John nickname 81 Deli appliance 82 O’Neill’s “___ Christie” 83 Somewhat redundant literary genre? 88 Scrammed 91 Brief laugh 92 Flamboyant stole 93 Machiavellian concerns 94 John of Salisbury

B A R T O V E R A E R I D U B S O N I N T M R E B E R A L S O R I P T R E Z A D K R R E S P I R U L E L I G L E M E R G A N T I E N

A B S V I E W A L L Y D E E D U C T E N T H E G R S O L R B I C O L A U M A N P A T A O N E L A C L E H O D D A W G A O R I R T E N L I N G A C T

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AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 13

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ERICJOHNSON

Looking West Again

Augusta Regional Airport hopes to reconnect with Dallas in wake of airline merger

ERICJOHNSON

What’s in a Name?

Marketing money and name confusion stir controversy over TEE Center

Three players. Three sheets of music. When Augusta Riverfront President Paul Simon went before the Finance Committee last week to talk about the annual plan, he chided the commission for not spending enough on marketing. Last week’s announcement of the $11 billion merger of American Airlines and US Airways brought a new sense of optimism in Augusta Regional Airport’s ongoing negotiations to bring back American Eagle’s daily nonstop between Augusta and Dallas, a route that was lost after parent company American Airlines filed for bankruptcy protection in January of last year. “This merger might present a better opportunity for us to get it back because it gives them an advantage to get more direct flights,” says Communications Manager Lauren Smith. “It broadens the opportunity for everyone.” American Eagle operated the Augusta-Dallas flight from June 2010 through January 2012 and gave Augusta Regional its much sought after third carrier, joining Delta, which offers daily flights to its hub in Atlanta and US Airways, which flies direct to its hub in Charlotte. In July of last year, US Airways added a daily nonstop to Washington, D.C., Despite almost an entire year without the Dallas route and only gaining the Washington route midyear, Augusta Regional still posted record numbers for the third year in a row, beating 2011’s numbers by more than 14,000 travelers. “We’re fortunate that we haven’t seen the decreases that other airports have,” Smith says. The Dallas connection proved popular with business travelers, the military and leisure flyers alike because of its proximity to West Coast destinations. The merged company, which will be called American Airlines, will have more than 900 planes and offer close to 3,200 daily flights, and though aviation experts anticipate American’s hubs, including Dallas, will prosper as the new company tries to maximize its assets, some feel US Airways operations in Charlotte might not fare so well. Charlotte Douglass International Airport is currently US Airways’ busiest hub, yet three quarters of the 39 million passengers connect to other flights, which might be more efficiently handled through American’s other hubs. Even more troubling for Charlotte is the fact that US Airways accounts for approximately 90 percent of the airport’s daily flights, an all or nothing situation Augusta officials have worked hard to avoid by continually striving to add additional carriers. Smith acknowledges that in addition to her continued efforts to court American as it’s maneuvered its way through the bankruptcy process, Director of Marketing Dianne Johnston has also maintained a good working relationship with US Airways representatives. However, that doesn’t mean they have their sights set only on reconnecting with Dallas. “We look at where our travelers are going once they leave here,” Smith says. “We take that into consideration to see what the local community would like to see and what would be beneficial to them, and I think New York and a Florida destination would be the next possible ones for us.” Currently, Augusta’s commercial side has 17 arrivals and 17 departures each day, with an overall increase in traffic of 102 percent since 2006. 14 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

“One of the things that we really need to keep in mind, and I keep talking about it but don’t get much response, is marketing,” Simon said. “You’ve got to market these facilities. Under the contract, we don’t market it. That’s not part of what we do. Under the contract, the CVB markets it.” That seemed to be news to CVB President and CEO Barry White, who said his group was paid additional money from the city specifically for the premarketing of the new facility. The total amount was around $350,000 in hotel tax funding. “It was a finite amount of money to last a finite amount of time,” he said. “So that’s what we’ve been doing. We probably have another three or four months before that money is expended.” Given the fact that the booking cycle for many events is more than a year, such a marketing arrangement for a new venue or the expansion of an existing one is not unusual, White said, but he stressed that the CVB was never intended to take over full marketing efforts. “My understanding is it will be a joint effort,” White said. “We market all public facilities, we market the destination, we market Augusta and we’re going to continue to do that.” Administrator Fred Russell said he had a similar understanding regarding the marketing. “It’s the Marriott, mainly,” he said. “The CVB’s job is to get people to come to Augusta, and this is another tool they have to do that. Paul’s is to fill up the Marriott, and this is another tool to do that. It’s a good thing, at the end of the day.” At the Finance Committee Meeting, though, Simon seemed adamant that marketing the $29 million, 38,000-square-foot facility — as well as the existing, city-owned conference center adjacent to it — was the CVB’s responsibility. “You all need to give them the money to work with, and you need to direct them to get together and market it in the same vein,” Simon said. “The Marriott — we promote it as the Augusta Convention Center. That’s what it is. You all own the full convention center — it doesn’t matter whether you have a person use the convention space or the new space, you still get revenue and economic benefits from it.” “I’m very aware that the hotel would like to call it something else, but again, our instruction has been to market the new space and market it as the Trade Exhibit and Events Center,” White said tersely. “At the direction of the city for this premarketing, we’ve been calling it the Trade Exhibit and Event Center, which is about as clearly defined a space as possible.” So, officially, what is it that the city has just built? “I believe it’s officially called the Convention Center, but locally known as the TEE Center,” Russell said. “I believe that’s what I put on the thing going to tell the world about it.” And who made the decision? “I did on that one,” Russell said. “I don’t think we’ve ever officially made a decision, but the Marriott advertises it as the Convention Center and my general feel is we’ve got the TEE Center as part of the Convention Center, and I’m not really that concerned with anything other than that.” While changing names seems to go against the idea of establishing a brand, which the CVB has been doing for the last 14 months, Russell didn’t seem bothered. “I believe it’s wise to use two kinds of bait when you fish on occasion,” Russell said. White, however, sounded less enthusiastic. “Brand identity is important,” he said. “I don’t disagree with you one bit.” 21FEBRUARY2013

V24|NO08

ERICJOHNSON

Two Cents Worth County deals with loss of state money

Because the governor and state legislators decided to promote industry in the state by giving an exemption on the energy consumption tax to industry, local government is facing a shortfall. According to Columbia County Administrator Scott Johnson, buying power is just like buying a drink at a convenience store, in that you pay the seven percent sales tax. Of that seven cents, four goes to the state, a penny goes to the Local Option Sales Tax (LOST) that the county uses to offset property taxes, a penny goes to the Special Purpose Local Option Sales Tax (SPLOST) that the county uses for projects and a penny goes for schools. Legally, the state couldn’t take the education penny, but in that effort to promote industry, they decided to take everything else, including the two cents due the county. “The law was, ‘We’re going to go ahead and take all six cents off, but if a local government decides they can’t live without those extra two cents, then they have the option of instituting what’s called an energy excise tax,’” Johnson said. In other words, they took away local government’s money

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and then made them go back and institute a new tax to get it back, which Johnson said didn’t necessarily equate to a lot of money in the grand scheme of things — probably around a quarter of a million dollars over the four year phase in period — but one cent of that two cents was LOST money that goes directly into the general fund to offset property taxes. “If we didn’t have that LOST money in there to balance the budget, potentially we would have to go up on property taxes,” Johnson said. That move would be politically very unpopular, since Columbia County has reduced the property tax millage rate four out of the last five years. But to make up for the lost revenue, the county would have to either raise taxes or cut spending, which would mean a loss in services that would be equally unpopular. “While we want to give industry as much as we can give them, we can’t do that on the property taxpayer’s back,” Johnson continued. “It’s not fair for your taxes on your house to go up so a large corporation doesn’t have to pay what they were paying before.” If the state’s in the position to be able to not collect that four percent, he said, then the county is in favor of the industries getting that four percent, but what they’re not in favor of is the legislature taking away the two percent that

belongs to the county. Therefore, the county is preparing to get its two cents by implementing the energy excise tax. The first step is the intergovernmental approval from Harlem and Grovetown followed by an ordinance change. And though some argue that deflecting that two percent back to industry will drive that industry somewhere where they can get the full benefit of the exemption, Johnson argued that Columbia County’s low property tax might offset such a reaction. “You can’t just focus on the energy tax and think it’s going to save you money on your bottom line,” he said. “Because at the end of the day, your bottom line is made up of many things, not just one rebate of a tax.” Despite the frustrations, Johnson said the county has a good relationship with the industry located in the county and applauds the state for helping. “What they did, they did with good intentions, I think, but with unintended consequences,” he said. “Any time you start taking local revenues away at the state level, certainly the county government is going to stand up and say, ‘This isn’t right.’”

MONEY

DOESN’T

GROW ON TREES (Although some local tree services must believe according their estimates!) beli be liliev evee it doe ev ddoes oess ac oe acco cord co rdin rd ingg to tthe in heir he ir eest sttim stim imat ates at ess!) AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 15

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ERICJOHNSON

Gene Counseling

Genetic counselor helps those at risk weigh the risks while directing them to preventative care GRU Cancer Center

The Georgia Regents University Cancer Center has launched the area’s first dedicated cancer genetics clinic, and as the genetic counselor, Mallory Hire is helping people navigate the new and often complicated waters of genetic testing. Statistically, genetic testing isn’t necessarily for everyone. Only about five to 10 percent of all cancers can be traced back to a hereditary link, but those who can trace back to that link may be five times more likely to develop cancer, which is why genetic testing can be helpful. People who would be referred to the genetics clinic would be individuals younger than 50 who have been diagnosed with cancer or those who have multiple people in their family who have had cancer. “If you have three generations where at least two people have had colon cancer, that’s suspicious, so they would be referred to me so we could try to figure out if it’s due to some hereditary link that we can identify and potentially prevent,” Hire says. “And if the link exists, we can possibly help out other family members.” Though cancer is not completely preventable, Hire says that if you catch it at an earlier state, 16 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

then you potentially have a better outcome and a better chance of survival. “There’s a colon cancer hereditary condition called lynch syndrome, and those individuals have an 80 percent lifetime risk of colon cancer, so if you know that this is in your family, you can start colonoscopies at 25 instead of 50,” she says. “If they’re doing the colonoscopies and checking for colon polyps, they can remove them when they find them instead of giving them the chance to continue to grow and potentially become cancerous.” The cancer genetics clinic has been open since July, and though she’s located in the Cancer Center, she tends to float from clinic to clinic. “Just because it’s a new program, I am focused just mostly on the solid tumors,” Hire says. “But I have had a few families that have had more of the liquid tumors, so I’m involved in the GI cancer clinic, the breast cancer clinic and I’m involved with brain tumors and gynecological cancers, too.” Having distributed guidelines to the different clinics and nurse navigators, she is forwarded the names of those who meet the qualifications. If a patient is interested, she will collect a family history over the phone and, depending upon what she learns, she’ll discuss whether gene testing would be appropriate. If so, they’ll arrange an

in-person appointment and review everything that’s involved — the pros and cons and possible outcomes. “It’s a lot of information up front, and I just try to make sure that each patient feels as autonomous as possible so they can make an informed decision,” she says. The test itself is just like a blood test, though it can take up to four weeks to get the results back. When they come, she usually calls and gives the patient the results over the phone and then they can set up a second in-person appointment, especially if the results come back positive, because, at that point, they need to talk about recommendations for surveillance. A positive result doesn’t mean that the patient has cancer, just that they are at an increased risk. “It’s not a guarantee,” she says. “For most cancer syndromes, it’s never a 100 percent guarantee for cancer. I always try to emphasize that.” Oddly enough, given the recent emphasis in preventative care, genetic testing is not covered by all insurance policies. Each person’s plan is different, so Hire spends part of her time dealing with insurance companies. “It’s frustrating, because knowing that somebody has a predisposition, the insurance companies would save a lot of money in treating the patient 21FEBRUARY2013

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proactively before cancer rather than treating the patient for cancer,� she says. “It’s my impression that they all sort of waiting to see what everybody else is doing in the insurance world — a ‘they’re not, so we’re not’ kind of thing.� Hire, who has a masters degree in genetic counseling, wanted to be an interior designer until her 10th grade biology class. There, she was first exposed to genetics, and she says she’s been hooked ever since, and as the technology makes the testing more widely used, positions like hers are becoming more and more important. “Doctors don’t have time to meet with every single patient and talk in detail like I do, so they need genetic counselors to try to explain genetics as simply as possible,� she says. Despite the increase in genetic testing, Hire is the only genetic counselor of her type in Augusta, though there are several in Atlanta, a couple in Macon and a few in South Carolina.

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Unlike nurse navigators, who stay involved with patients throughout their treatment cycles, Hire seldom meets with patients for more than a couple of visits, because after the testing is complete, she writes a letter with recommendations on the types of screenings she thinks would be appropriate and then the patient goes to the proper physicians to have the tests. Not only has the Commission on Cancer recently added genetic counseling to its list of standards for accreditation of cancer centers, the Georgia Center for Oncology Research and Education held its first meeting of the Georgia Cancer Genetics Network, focusing on building awareness of how to prevent and reduce the incidence of genetic cancers through a statewide referral network.

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METROSPIRIT 17

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ENTERTAIN

ME The GRU Augusta Half Marathon and 10K will star t at Enterprise Mill at 8 a.m., Sunday, Feb. 24. Registration for the event goes on through the Race Expo on Saturday, February 23, from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. at Enterprise Mill Events Center. Visit augustahalf.org.

Arts

Day of Art, hosted by the North Augusta Artists Guild, is each Tuesday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. at the Arts and Heritage Center and includes a group of artists painting in the center who will answer questions or allow visitors to join in. Call 803-441-4380 or visit artsandheritagecenter.com.

Exhibitions

“Pride and Passion: The African-American Baseball Experience” is on display at GRUA. Call 706-721-9265 or visit gru.edu. “The Godfather of Soul” James Brown exhibit is on display at the Augusta Museum of History. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org. “Southernscapes” by photographer Bailey Davidson will exhibit through Feb. 26 at Artists Local 1155. Call 706-306-1581 or email artistslocal1155@gmail.com. Local sculptor Brian Rust exhibits his work at Sacred Heart Cultural Center until Feb. 24. Call 706-826-4700 or visit sacredheartaugusta.org. Aiken Retro Exhibition will be on display at the Aiken Center for the Arts through Feb. 25. Call 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org. “Ebony Legacy Revisited” will be on display at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of African-American History through Feb. 28. Adults $5, seniors $3, kids $2. Call 706-724-3576 or visit lucycraftlaneymuseum.com. Katie Harris, photographer and sculptor from Appling, will display her exhibit, “Blissful Fullness-Empty Freedom” at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art through March 1. Non-members, $5; members, free. Call 706-722-5495 or visit ghia.org.

visit aikenpresbyterian.org. Lyric Intermezzo will be in concert at Aiken Presbyterian Church, noon, Thursday, Feb. 21. Jamison Walker, tenor; Kevin Pollock, piano; Kelly Odell, oboe; Ruth Berry, cello. Free. Call 803-648-2662 or visit aikenpresbyterian.org. Salon concert will be performed by the Perlman, Quint, Bailey Trio in the home of Dr. and Mrs. Don E. Williamson as part of Beethoven Festival Week, 7 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 21. $125. Call 706-826-4706 or visit soaugusta.org. Orchestra and Wind Ensemble will be presented by the GRU Department of Music at the Maxwell Performing Arts Theatre 7:30-9 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 21. Call 706-667-4100 or visit gru.edu. Miles Hoffman and The American Chamber Players will play at the GRUA Maxwell Performing Arts Theatre, as part of the Beethoven Festival Week, 7:30 p.m., Friday, Feb. 22. Adults $25; school-age children $7. Call 706667-4100. Call 706-826-4706 or visit soaugusta.org. Symphony Series concert will be presented at First Baptist Church as part of Beethoven Festival Week, 7:30 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 23. Call 706-8264706 or visit soaugusta.org. Symphony Orchestra Augusta will perform “Deliberately Beethoven” at First Baptist Church of Augusta, 7:30 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 23, and “Bits of Beethoven” family concert at the Maxwell PAT, 3 p.m., Sunday, Feb. 24. Visit soaugusta.org. “An Evening of Broadway” will be presented by the Richmond Academy Players at ARC, 7 p.m., Monday, Feb. 25. $10. Call 706-737-7152 or visit arc.rcboe.org.

“Tying the Knot,” a display of wedding dresses and accessories from the late 1800s to the 1960s, will be on exhibit at the Augusta Museum of History until May. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

Literary

“Blast From the Past” is on display at Augusta Museum of History to celebrate the museum’s 75th anniversary. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

Let’s Talk About Islamic Books is at the Headquarters Library, 5:30-9 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 21. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

“Local Legends” is a permanent exhibit highlighting Augusta notables on display at the Augusta Museum of History. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

Book Club will meet at the Harlem Library, 4 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 21. Call 706-556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org.

Book Discussion: “Running From Solace” is at the Headquarters Library, 6:30-8:45 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 21. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

“Protect and Serve,” an exhibit highlighting the stories of CSRA law enforcement officers, is on display at the Augusta Museum of History. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

Author Linda Copeland will speak about her book “Legends in the Garden: Who in the World is Nellie Stevens?” at Sacred Heart Cultural Center, 10 a.m., Tuesday, Feb. 26. $30. Reservations required. Call 706-826-4700 or visit sacredheartaugusta.org.

“Delightful Decanters” is a temporary exhibit on display at the Augusta Museum of History featuring colorful bottles used to sell products as late as the 1970s. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

“The Island of Lost Maps: A True Story of Cartographic Crime” by Miles Harvey will be discussed by the Maxwell Morning Book Club at the Maxwell Library, 10 a.m.-noon, Tuesday, Feb. 26. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org.

Music

Book Discussion: “The Color of Water” by James McBride will be held by the Talk the Talk Ladies Book Club at the Headquarters Library, 6:30-8:45 p.m., Tuesday, Feb. 26. New members welcome. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Midday Music will be held at First Presbyterian Church in Aiken at noon, Thursday, Feb. 21. Free. Reservations required. Call 803-648-2662 or 18 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Book Club will meet at The Kroc Center, 6:30 p.m., Wednesday, Feb. 27. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Morning Book Club will meet at Euchee Creek Library, 10:30 a.m., Thursday, Feb. 28. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. Poetry Matters is accepting entries through March 23 for their annual poetry contest. Cash prizes will be given out. Categories are middle and high school, adults, and seniors. Visit poetrymatterscelebration.com.

Dance

Jaguar Jam will take place as part of GRU’s homecoming activities, at the Christenberry Field House, 7-9 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 21. $5 or two canned goods. Call 706-737-1619 or visit gru.edu. “Feelin’ Groovy” will be presented by The Ballroom Dance Center, 7 p.m., Friday and Saturday, Feb. 22-23. Adults $28; under 18 $21. Call 706-854-8888. Belly Dance Class is held every Tuesday at 6 p.m. at Euchee Creek Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. Belly Dancing Classes are held Tuesdays at 6 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org. Augusta International Folk Dance Club meets Tuesday nights from 7:309:30 p.m. at the Augusta Ballet Studio on 2941 Walton Way. No partners needed. First visit free. Call 706-399-2477. Karaoke is held every Friday night at the American Legion Post 205 on Highland Road. Call 706-495-3219. Zumba with Sohailla is held every Saturday from 10-11 a.m. at the Ballroom Dance Center in Evans. Call 706-421-6168 or visit zumbawithsohailla.blogspot.com. Christian Singles Dance, a smoke-, alcohol- and drug-free event for those ages 40 and over, is each Saturday night at the Ballroom Dance Center in Evans. Dance lessons start at 7 p.m., and the dance begins at 8 p.m. No partners needed. Members $8, guests $10. Call 706-854-8888 or visit christiandances.org. Saturday Night Dance with live music is each Saturday night at the Fraternal Order of the Eagles Post 1197 from 8:30 p.m.-12:30 a.m. $5. Call 706-495-3219.

Theater

“La Cage Aux Folles” (“The Birdcage”) will be performed by Augusta Players at the Imperial Theatre, 8 p.m., Friday-Saturday, Feb. 22-23, and 3 p.m., Sunday, Feb. 24. $20-$43. Call 706-826-4707, email info@ augustaplayers.org or visit augustaplayers.org. Set crew needed for Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre production of “Legally Blonde: The Musical,” 10 a.m.-4:30 p.m., Monday-Saturday, until March 1. Tools will be provided. Email steven.r.walpert.naf@mail.mil.

Flix

“Lean on Me” will be shown at the North Augusta Library, 7 p.m., 21FEBRUARY2013

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Giving Back World-renowned chef helps Goodwill launch Edgar’s Grille Marcel Biro has had a long and storied career in the restaurant world, but one email from Goodwill was all it took to change his life. “I was really intrigued, not just by what is happening but by the whole idea behind it: helping others, giving back to the community and making better communities,” Biro, now Goodwill’s Vice President of Hospitality, said. “I’m at the point in my life that this opportunity fit what I wanted to do as well, giving back, because I was given a lot, education wise, so joining a team where that is the main goal? I was really intrigued.” Biro had been living in Wisconsin when he received that email from Jim Stiff, President and CEO of Goodwill Industries of Middle Georgia and the CSRA, but his career in the industry began when he was just a six-year-old dishwasher and potato peeler at his father’s restaurant in Germany. He began culinary school at 15 and earned his teaching degree at 21. Marcel became a Master Chef de Cuisine at age 24, making him the youngest chef in Europe to have ever received this prestigious title. Since then Biro has added many impressive accomplishments to his resume: working for Michelin rated restaurants and resorts, serving as private chef to German Chancellor Helmut Kohl, hosting an Emmy award winning cooking show on PBS for three seasons and authoring cookbooks. Edgar’s Grille, an upscale restaurant located on the Helms College campus on Washington and Fury’s Ferry roads, is now open six days a week for dinner service beginning at 4:30 p.m. Edgar’s Grille is named after the founder of Goodwill Industries, The Reverend Edgar Helms. Plans are to expand service to lunch and weekend brunch by the time Masters Week rolls around. Edgar’s opened the week of Valentine’s Day to rave reviews. And it’s no wonder: the décor is

impressive — modern but warm — and the food, described as New American Cuisine, is delicious. Edgar’s boasts a wood-fired pizza oven, a full bar, an expansive heated patio, and a chef’s table in the kitchen, where up to 10 people will really get to see what goes on in “the back of the house.” So what, then, is New American Cuisine? “New American is a wonderful term because it expands the potential of the restaurant,” Biro said. “In our case, we have tapas: New American. We have pizzas: What’s more American than pizza? And, of course, being in the South, we’re incorporating low country as well, so you’ll find shrimp and grits, with our spin on it, and dishes like cornmeal-crusted flounder.” Offering regional dishes, Biro continued, means placing an emphasis on using locally sourced ingredients. Seventy to 80 percent of what Edgar’s buys comes from suppliers living within a 100-mile radius of the Augusta area. “We’re using local ingredients like those from Spotted Trotter and local farmers market items,” he said. “We’re trying to support the small, community people because they’re supporting us.” Diners may feel like they’re indulging when they visit Edgar’s Grille, but they will actually be supporting the community. Of every dollar the restaurant takes in, 84 cents will go to supporting Goodwill’s mission of training and educating local citizens to obtain jobs. And just so diners are able to see that mission at work, Biro said Edgar’s will use big-screen televisions located in the restaurant to peek into Helms College’s culinary classes. “We actually can switch our cameras to the college so you can, while you’re sitting there eating, watch the students learning to cook” Biro explained. “It’s pretty cool. It’s like having a real Food Network.” Edgar’s is run by food service professionals, but

advanced Helms College students will have the chance to work their way up to being a part of the team. And that is the aspect of the venture that Biro finds most exciting. “I was very fortunate and lucky. I had a lot of good mentors along the way and, hopefully, I can give some of these individuals some inspiration,” he said. “I hope I’m able to see that, to turn on the television and see the biggest chef in the world say that Helms College’s culinary school was where they got their start. Wouldn’t that be awesome?”

Edgar’s Grille 3165 Washington Road, Augusta Monday-Saturday, 4:30-close 706-854-4700 | edgarsgrille.com

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Ways to Support the Mission of Helms College and Goodwill (helms.edu)

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Tapas

Appetizers

bruschetta, edgar’s ricotta, tomato, olive tapenade, basil‌..............................5 fried rabbit tenders, tasso gravy‌......................................................................6 lamb chops, mint gremolata‌.............................................................................7 fried shrimp, red pepper remoulade‌................................................................7 sweet potato chips, ranch dip‌..........................................................................5 mixed olives, roasted garlic, crusty bread‌........................................................5 fried green tomatoes, spiced cucumber sauce‌................................................5 ÂśÂ&#x;“žže] ž´Â“žže´ ]Ă‚Vˆ Â&#x;´Â“ÂśV‚žžÂ“Z Œ‚œœÂ‚“Â? rxÂśZ ´Â“ÂśeÂŒ@´Ă‹ x“@ž¹œ V eeÂśe¤k¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤º bbq pig “wingsâ€?, red slaw‌................................................................................5

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Soups smoky corn chowder‌......................................................................................4/6 chicken-&-dumpling consommÊ‌....................................................................5/7

Brick Oven Pizzas classic cheese‌....................................................................................................9 tomato, mozzarella, basil‌................................................................................11 garden pie, spinach, roasted red peppers, sun-dried tomatoes, olives‌........11 grilled chicken, sun-dried tomatoes, goat’s cheese‌.......................................12 spotted trotter pepperoni‌...............................................................................11 edgar’s chorizo, tuscan peppers‌.....................................................................14 crisp smoky prosciutto, roasted bell peppers‌................................................14

Salads baby iceberg wedges, sweet-&-spicy bacon, pickled red onion, cherry tomatoes, bleu cheese dressing‌.................................6/9 MĂ‚žže´ x´eeÂ?ÂśZ ‰eŒ“Â? ž´Ă‚qte ĂˆÂ‚Â?@‚x´ežžeZ ž@´ž @Â&#x;Â&#x;‰eZ @xe] cheddar, candied walnuts................................................................‌8/12 caesar, nature crisp lettuce, roasted garlic croutons, crispy speck alto, parmesan‌.......................................................................7/10

Desserts chocolate pave, drunk cherries, sweet pepper foam, coffee crunch...‌8 hickory hill buttermilk panna cotta, preserved apricots, lace cookie...‌7 œ“´x Ă‚ÂŒ rx V@ˆeZ Ăˆ@Â?‚‰‰@ ‚Ve V´e@ÂŒZ M@‰œ@Œ‚V œË´Ă‚Â&#x;k¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤j ´e] ĂˆeÂ‰Ăˆež œ“ÂqtfZ σeež F œÂ“Ă‚´ É ‚Â&#x;Â&#x;e] V´e@ÂŒk¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤š

Cocktails

Entrees edgar’s ricotta gnocchi, tomato basil sauce, parmesan.....................................17 carolina shrimp & grits, tasso gravy, arugula‌..................................................16 grilled local pork chop, roasted sweet potatoes, apple-bacon marmalade .....22 bourbon glazed salmon, braised collard greens, fried corn pone‌.................20 V“´Â?ÂŒe@‰ V´Ă‚œže] V@´Â“‰‚Â?@ t“ÂÂ?]e´Z Âś e‰‰rÂś q´Â‚V@œœeeZ V“´Â?Z Âśe@ ‚œ‰@Â?] Â&#x;e@œ¤¤à à buttermilk fried chicken, whipped potatoes, snap beans, gravy...................‌16 x´Â‚‰‰e] Ve´žÂ‚re] @Â?xĂ‚Âś Meeq žeÂ?]e´Â‰Â“‚Â?Z Â&#x;“ž@žÂ“ x´@žÂ‚Â?Z asparagus, bleu cheese butter‌........................................................................25

cucumber/ginger martini |uncle val’s botanical gin with fresh cucumber and ginger ‌‌..................................................................10 strawberry/rhubarb pie | absolut citron, rhubarb liquor, strawberry coulis and prosecco ‌‌........................................................................10 edgar’s manhattan | basil hayden’s with zinfandel port soaked cherries ‌‌‌....‌‌................................................................12 icepick | kettle one, sweet tea and an infusion of seasonal fruits ‌‌...8 french 76 | ciroc, fresh squeezed lemon juice, champagne, simple syrup, lemon twist....................................................‌‌..‌‌...10 edgar’s bloody mary | boyd & blair vodka, house made bloody mary mix.....................................................‌‌‌‌.....‌...........8 fusion martini | malibu, grey goose, absolut citron, stolio and an orange twist ‌.....‌...‌....................................................................10

1eĂˆ¤ ]x@´ !¤ eÂ‰ÂŒÂśZ q“ÂÂ?]e´ “q ““]ɂ‰‰ Â?]Ă‚œž´Â‚eÂśZ ɓ´Âˆe] Â&#x;@œœÂ‚“Â?@že‰Ë žÂ“ eœž@M‰‚œ ž e r´œž šĂ? @Ă‚žÂ“Â?Â“ÂŒÂ“Ă‚Âś ““]ɂ‰‰ “´x@Â?‚Î@žÂ‚“Â?Âś ž ´Â“Ă‚x “ž ž e ɓ´Â‰]¤ Goodwill’s mission has thrived for more than century and is based upon our belief that we do the greatest good by helping people with a hand-up to develop their God-given gifts through education, work and career develpment services. Almost 70 years after Rev. Helms completed his work on earth, Helms College was established by Goodwill industries of Middle Georgia and the CSRA to help all people gain the education, experience and credentials needed to enjoy the “maximum of abundant living.â€? Edgar’s Grille and the Center, a conference venue at Edgar’s Grille, are applied learning venues for students of the Helms College School of Hospitality & Culinary Arts. Thank you for your patronage that builds lives and families — one beverage, one meal and one event at a time.

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Thursday, Feb. 21. Call 803-642-7575 or visit abbe-lib.org.

Call 706-774-2760 or visit universityhealth.org.

Augusta’s Race Riot film and discussion will be held at the Headquarters Library, 2-4 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 23. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Total Joint Replacement educational talk will be offered at Doctors Hospital 1:30-3:30 p.m., Tuesday, Feb. 26. Registration required. Call 706-6514343 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

“Pina” (PG, 2011) will be shown as part of the GRU Spring Film Series, 7 p.m., Monday, Feb. 25. General admission $3; students, faculty and staff free with JagCard. Call 706-729-2416 or visit gru.edu. “Why Stop Now?” will be shown at the Headquarters Library, 6:30 p.m., Tuesday, Feb. 26. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Special Events

Third Thursday Tasting, featuring wines and cheeses, is Thursday, Feb. 21, from 5-8 p.m. at Wine World in North Augusta. Call 803-279-9522 or visit wineworldsc.com. 8th Annual Augusta Home and Garden Show will be held at the James Brown Arena, 2-7 p.m., Friday, Feb. 22; 10 a.m.-7 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 23; and 11 a.m.-5 p.m., Sunday, Feb. 24. Call 877-428-4849 or visit augustaentertainmentcomplex.com. Community Engagement Collage will be presented by Friends of SOA at the KROC Center as part of Beethoven Festival Week 9 a.m., Saturday, Feb. 23. Call 706-826-4706 or visit soaugusta.org. Chili Cookoff will take place at the Christenberry Fieldhouse during the GRU Homecoming basketball game, 1:30-5:30 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 23. There will be entertainment and door prizes. $10 to enter; 10 tastes for $15 and a T-shirt; $2 per taste. Benefits the CSRA Warriors. Call 678-634-9629 or email gso1828@gmail.com for info. Columbia County Charity Gala, a Vegas-style event, will be held at the Savannah Rapids Pavilion, 7 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 23. Individuals $80; couples $150. Proceeds benefit Columbia County Arts Development Fund, Columbia County Cares food pantry and Teenage Years 101. Texas Hold ‘em tournament buy-in is $35. Black-tie optional. Call 706-312-7192 or 706-868-3349 visit columbiacountyga.gov. Concert organist Nathan Laube will perform at St. John United Methodist Church, 3 p.m., Sunday, Feb. 24. A love offering will be taken up for The Hope House. Call 706-724-9641 or visit stjohnaugusta.org. Evensong, the ancient Anglican service of vespers, will be sung by the choir at St. Paul’s Church, 6 p.m., Sunday, Feb. 24. It lasts less than an hour, and there is no sermon or offering. Childcare is provided. A reception in Tyler Hall follows the service. Call 706-724-2485 or visit saintpauls.org. Friends of the Augusta Public Library annual meeting and membership drive will take place at the Headquarters Library, 6:30 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 28. Brad Cunningham will speak. Free and open to the public. Refreshments served. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Pet adoptions are held by CSRA Happy Tails Rescue at the Mullins Crossing Petco in Evans from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. each Sunday and from 1-4 p.m. each Saturday and Sunday at the Tractor Supply Company. Visit csrahappytails.com.

Health

Heart Attack and Stroke Prevention Class will be held in the University Hospital Heart & Vascular Institute, 2 p.m., Tuesday, Feb. 26. Free. Registration required. Call 706-774-5548 or visit universityhealth.org. Total Joint Replacement Educational Talk will be held at Doctors Hospital, 1:30-3:30 p.m., Tuesday, Feb. 26. Bring questions you would like addressed. Registration required. Call 706-651-4343 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Seasoning Without Salt: A Healthy Alternative class will be given at the Georgia Regents Cardiovascular Center, 5 p.m., Tuesday, Feb. 26. Call 706721-9055 or visit georgiahealth.org. Mindfulness-based meditation will be held 6-7 p.m., Tuesday, Feb. 26. Registration required. $20 per class; $85 for five classes. Call 706-496-3935. Weight Loss Surgery Seminar will be held at the Georgia Health Sciences Alumni Center, 7 p.m., Tuesday, Feb. 26 and Thursday, Feb. 28. Free. Registration required. Call 706-721-2609 or visit georgiahealth.org. Pickles and Ice Cream, a class for first-time moms, will be held at Doctors Hospital, 7-9:30 p.m., Tuesday, Feb. 26. Registration required. Call 706651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

Adapted Evaluation, a 30-minute initial and annual evaluation including medical history and water assessment, is offered at the Wilson Family Y. $25. Call 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org. Adapted Special Populations classes offered at the Wilson Family Y. Members $10; non-members $20. Call 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org. Adapted Wii Special Populations available by appointment at the Wilson Family Y, and feature individual half-hour classes for physically and developmentally challenged individuals of all ages. Members, $10; nonmembers, $20. Call 706-922-9662 or visit thefamilyy.org.

Cancer Share, a support group for all those who have been diagnosed with cancer, meets at the University Hospital Breast Health Center 6-7:30 p.m., Monday, Feb. 25. Call 706-774-8308.

Airavata Yoga Therapy is offered 6:30-7:45 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 28. $15 per class, $75 per month. Reservations required. Email airavatayogatherapy@gmail.com. Introduction to Infant CPR class will meet in the University Hospital lobby, 7-8:30 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 28. Registration required. Call 706-774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org. Weight Loss Surgery Seminar will be held at the GRU Alumni Center, 7 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 28. Call 706-721-2609 or visit georgiahealth.org. Child Safety Seat Inspections offered by appointment at the Safe Kids office (call 706-721-7606), Martinez/Columbia Fire Rescue Engine Co. 3 (call 706-860-7763) and Columbia County Sheriff’s Substation in Evans (call 706-541-3970). Visit gru.edu. Car Seat Classes are offered by appointment only at the Safe Kids Office in Augusta and at the Martinez Columbia Fire Rescue Headquarters. $10. Call 706-721-7606 or visit georgiahealth.org.

Blood pressure checks and wellness planning sessions offered at the Kroc Center all February for American Heart Month. Free. Registration required. Call 706-922-8332 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Breastfeeding Class for expectant mothers will be held at Babies R Us in Evans 7-9 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 21. Free. Registration required. Call 706774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org.

Childbirth Preparation Classes will be offered by University Hospital in weekly, four-week segments in February, from 7-9:30 p.m., Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Registration required. Call 706-774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org.

Weight Loss support group will meet at Doctors Hospital 6-7 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 21. Call 706-651-4343 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Survivors of Suicide will meet at Trinity Hospital Community Bereavement Center, 3-5 p.m., Sunday, Feb. 24. Call 706-729-6021 or 800-533-3949.

Multiple Sclerosis Support Group meets at the Augusta MS Center, 6-7:30 p.m., Monday, Feb. 25. Dinner is provided. Call 706-721-7239 or visit georgiahealth.org. Weight Loss Support Group meets at the Georgia Health Sciences Alumni Center, 5:30 p.m., Tuesday, Feb. 26. Registration required. Free. Call 706721-2609 or visit georgiahealth.org. Parkinson’s Disease Support Group meets at St. Johns Towers 6 p.m., Tuesday, Feb. 26. Call 706-863-6355. CSRA Parkinson’s Support Group meets at 6 p.m., Tuesday, Feb. 26. Dr. John Morgan, Professor of Neurology and Director of the NPF Center of Excellence at Georgia Health Sciences University, will speak on existing treatments. Call 706-364-1662. LaLeche League, a support group for mothers-to-be, and nursing moms and their babies, will meet 7 p.m., Tuesday, Feb. 26. Call 706-231-0022 or 706-364-1768, or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Head and Neck Cancer Support Group will meet at the GRU Cancer Center, noon-1:30 p.m., Wednesday, Feb. 27. Call 706-721-0550, email draganole@bellsouth.net or visit georgiahealth.org. Sleep Apnea Support Group will meet 7-9 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 28 at the Resource Library at Georgia Health Sciences Children’s Medical Center. Call 706-721-0793 or visit georgiahealth.org. Recovery Support Group meets 7:30 p.m. Sundays and Fridays. Call 706-855-2419.

Yoga I offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken 8:45-9:45 a.m., Tuesdays and Thursdays; Yoga II is offered 8:45-9:45 a.m., Fridays; Evening Yoga is offered 5:30-6:30 p.m., Mondays and Wednesdays. $41 for 10 tickets. Call 803-642-7631.

Burn Support Group meets every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Doctors Hospital’s Lori Rogers Nursing Library, JMS Building. All burn survivors, and their families and friends are welcome. Call Tim Dorn at 706-6516660 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

Tai Chi for Boomers is held at 6 p.m. every Tuesday and Thursday. Call 706-394-0590, email sbeasley@augustameditation.com or visit augustameditation.com/taichi.html.

Narcotics Anonymous meets Fridays and Sundays at 7:30 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. Visit na.org.

Minimizing Joint Pain will be offered at the Thomson McDuffie Depot in Thomson, 12:30-2:15 p.m., Monday, Feb. 25. Visit doctors-hospital.net.

Stress Management Classes are held at the University Hospital Heart & Vascular Institute at 8:15 a.m., 9:15 a.m. and 1:45 p.m. each Wednesday. Call 706-774-3278 or visit universityhealth.org.

Total Joint Replacement Class will be held at the University Hospital Levi Hill III Auditorium 1-3 p.m., Tuesday, Feb. 26. Free. No reservations required.

Multiple Sclerosis and Parkinson’s Disease Aquatics Class meets every Monday and Friday at noon at the Wilson Family Y. Members, free; non-

24 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Joint Efforts, presented by Trinity Hospital of Augusta, meets from 1111:45 a.m. every Thursday at Augusta Bone and Joint, and features a free seminar about knee and hip pain, treatments, medication, food and exercise. Call 706-481-7604 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Breastfeeding class will be held at Doctors Hospital, 6:30-9:30 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 28. Registration required. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

Airavata Yoga Therapy is offered 6:30-7:45 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 21. $15 a class or $75 a month. Reservations required. Email airavatayogatherapy@gmail.com.

Reiki Healing Circle will be held 6-8 p.m., Sunday, Feb. 24. $3-$5. Reservations required. Call 706-394-5420.

Cardiopulmonary Rehabilitation program covers topics such as coronary artery disease, heart attack and CHF at the University Hospital Heart and Vascular Institute. Program is held each Wednesday at 8:15 and 9:15 a.m., and 1:45 p.m. Call 706-774-3278 or visit universityhealth.org.

Support

Mindfulness Based Meditation will be offered 6-7 p.m., Tuesdays in February. $20 a class or $85 for five classes. Reservations required. Call 706-496-3935.

Reiki Level Two will be held 5-9 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 23. $75. Reservations required. Call 706-394-5420.

Heart Attack and Stroke Prevention Orientation is held every Tuesday at 2 p.m. at University Hospital’s Heart & Vascular Institute (Classroom 3). Free. Call 706-774-5548 or visit universityhealth.org.

Healthy Diet, Healthy Heart will be taught at Beulah Grove Baptist Church from 10-1 p.m., Wednesday, Feb. 27 with the following schedule of events: Presentation by Dr. Bowman, 10-10:30 a.m.; presentation by Angie Johnson, 10:30-11 a.m.; heart-healthy lunch, 11 a.m.- noon; Golden Agers meeting, open to public, noon-1 p.m. Free lunch served. Reservations required. Visit universityhealth.org.

Bariatric seminar will be held at Doctors Hospital 6-7 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 21 and 28. Registration required. Call 706-651-4343 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

Weekend Childbirth Education class will meet in the University Hospital Education Center, 6:30-9:30 p.m., Friday, Feb. 22 and 9 a.m.-5:30 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 23. Registration required. Free. Call 706-774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org.

members, $3. Pre-registration required. Call Claudia Collins at 706-9229664 or visit thefamilyy.org.

AA meets every Sunday and Wednesday at 7:15 p.m. at Aiken Regional Medical Centers’ Aurora Pavilion, and includes an open discussion. Call 800-322-8322 or visit aikenregional.com. Adult Sexual Assault and Rape Support Group provides group counseling at University Hospital for those who have experienced sexual assault, incest, rape or childhood sexual abuse. Call 706-724-5200 or visit universityhealth.org. 21FEBRUARY2013

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Alcoholics Anonymous is a support group for those who wish to stop drinking. Call 706-860-8331. Beyond the Bars is a support group for those with incarcerated loved ones. Call 706-855-8636. Cardiac Support Group meets three times a year. Free. Pre-registration requested. Call 706-774-5864 or visit universityhealth.org. Diabetes Youth Support Group meets quarterly. Call 706-868-3241 or visit universityhealth.org. Families Who Have Lost a Baby Support Group is offered by GRU. Call 706721-8299 or visit georgiahealth.org.

You know you want to play some kickball, right? If so, you’re in luck: Registration is going on now for a new adult co-ed league that star ts April 7 at Riverview Park. Call 941-716-3163 or visit augustakickball.com.

Gamblers Anonymous is a support group for those who wish to stop gambling. Call 800-313-0170. Living Well With Diabetes Adult Support Group, designed to teach members how to eat healthy meals while going out, meets in the University Hospital Cafeteria and area restaurants. Call 706-868-3241 or visit universityhealth.org. Living With Diabetes, a program designed to teach skills needed to manage diabetes, is offered at Trinity Hospital. Physician referral required. Call 706-481-7535 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Lupus Support Group meets at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706394-6484 or 706-821-2600, or visit ecgrl.org. Natural Family Planning support group meets locally. Call 706-481-7604 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Overeaters Support Group meets locally. Call 706-785-0006 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Parents of Hearing-Impaired Children meets locally. Call 706-481-7396 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Reach for Recovery is presented locally by the American Cancer Society. Call 706-731-9900 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Education

Networking, training and personal development opportunity will take place at the Doubletree Hotel, Wednesday-Friday, Feb. 20-22, beginning at 7 a.m. Hosted by Federally Employed Women. Registration required. Call 706-650-9897. Internet I will be taught at the Appleby Library 11 a.m.-noon, Thursday, Feb. 21. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. Young Professionals of Augusta Lunch and Learn meeting, featuring speaker Russ Krueger, owner of Ocozzio revenue improvement company, is Thursday, Feb. 21, from 11:45 a.m.-1 p.m. at Enterprise Mill’s Starch Room. $10 in advance; $11, for YPA members the day of and $12 for non-members. Visit ypaugusta.com. Beethoven-focused Lunch and Learn events will be presented at the Headquarters Library, 1 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 21 and Friday, Feb. 22. Call 706-826-4706 or visit soaugusta.org. Powerful Tools for Caregivers will be taught at Doctors Hospital 2-3:30 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 21 and Thursday, Feb. 28, for anyone caring for an elderly or chronically ill loved one. Call 706-651-2490 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Westminster Invention Convention, in which fourth graders present their inventions to parents and the community, is Thursday, Feb. 21, from 6:307:30 p.m. at the Lower School gym. The public is invited. Call 706-7315260 or visit wsa.net. “The Health of the Economy and the Economics of Health” will be presented at GRU by Dr. Paul Thomas, chief economist at Intel Corporation, noon, Friday, Feb. 22. Call 706-721-1150 or visit gru.edu. PowerPoint will be taught at the Wallace Library, 6-7:30 p.m., Friday, Feb. 22. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org. 1970 Riot of Augusta Panel Discussion, presented by GRU’s Department of Communications, is Saturday, Feb. 23, at 2 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Free and open to the public. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Introduction to Excel will be taught at the Wallace Library, 6-7:30 p.m., Sunday, Feb. 24. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org. Cooking demonstration will be held at The Kroc Center, 5:30 p.m., Wednesday, Feb. 27. Reservations recommended. Free. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. 21FEBRUARY2013

Intermediate Word Processing will be taught at Diamond Lakes Library in two more (of three total) sessions, 6 p.m., Wednesdays, Feb. 27, and March 6. Basic computer and word processing skills needed. Registration required. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Augusta Archaeological Society will meet at T-Bones Steakhouse at 8 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 28. Dr. Christopher Moore of the Savannah River Archaeological Research Program will speak on the possibility of connections between the European Solutrean culture and Eastern North America. Dinner on your own at 6:30 p.m. Call 706-863-7964. Intermediate Spanish Language Class is each Monday from 2:30-4 p.m. at Friedman Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org.

Sports-Outdoors

Georgia Regents University vs. Francis Marion begin with the women’s basketball game at 1:30 p.m. and continue with the men’s game at 3:30 p.m. at Christenberry Fieldhouse. During halftime of the men’s game, GRU’s Homecoming King and Queen will be crowned. Call 706-737-1610 or visit gru.edu. The GRU Augusta Half Marathon and 10K will start at Enterprise Mill at 8 a.m., Sunday, Feb. 24. Registration for the event goes on through Saturday, Feb. 23, during the Race Expo on Saturday, February 23, from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. at Enterprise Mill Events Center. Visit augustahalf.org.

Beginner’s Spanish Language Class is each Monday from 4-5 p.m. at Friedman Library. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org.

The Soul City Sirens roller derby team will play the Richland County Regulators at Redwing Rollerway, 6:30 p.m., Sunday, Feb. 24. Doors open at 5:30 p.m. Advance $10; door $15; kids 12 and under free. Floor seating available; folding chairs recommended. Afterparty at Malibu Jack’s. Visit soulcitysirens.com.

Free Tutoring for all ages, offered by GRU’s Literacy Center, is available by appointment Monday-Thursday, from 4-8 p.m., at the center at 1401 Magnolia Drive. Appointments required. Call 706-737-1625 or visit gru.edu.

The Augusta RiverHawks face the Huntsville Havoc, Thursday, Feb. 28, at 7:35 p.m. at the James Brown Area. $10-$21. Call 706-993-2645 or visit augustariverhawks.com.

Guided tours of 1797 Ezekiel Harris House offered by appointment only Tuesday-Friday, and Saturday 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Last tours of the day begin at 4 p.m. Adults, $2; children, $1. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

Olympic-style Taekwondo, taught by Master Michael L. Weintraub, is each Tuesday and Friday at 5:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.com.

GED Classes are held Tuesdays and Thursdays from 5:30-8:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-8212600 or visit ecgrl.org. English as a Second Language (ESL) classes are offered every Tuesday from 6-7:30 p.m. at Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Fort Gordon Toastmasters meets 11:30 a.m. each Wednesday in the Organizational Conference Room (Fish Bowl) on Fort Gordon Army base. Open to public. Visit fortgordon.toastmastersclubs.org. Adult Hebrew Class is taught at Congregation Children of Israel at 10:30 a.m. every Thursday. Email office@cciaugusta.org or visit cciaugusta.org. Computer classes are offered every Thursday at 6 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org. Free Tutoring for all ages, is offered at GRUA’s Literacy Center, by appointment Monday-Thursday, from 4-8 p.m. Call 706-737-1625 or visit gru.edu. Guided tours of 1797 Ezekiel Harris House offered by appointment only Tuesday-Friday, and Saturday 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Last tours of the day begin at 4 p.m. Adults, $2; children, $1. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org. Historic Trolley Tour of Augusta boards at the Augusta Museum of History at 1:30 p.m., Saturdays. See historic sites and hear spooky legends. $12, including admission to the museum. Reservations required 24 hours in advance. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustaga.org. Tours of the Boyhood Home of President Woodrow Wilson are held regularly. Adults $5; seniors $4; kids K-12 $3; under 5 years free. Reservations required for groups of 10 or more. Call 706-722-9828.

Swim Team offered at the Wilson Family Y through March 1 with specific training in endurance and stroke. Visit thefamilyy.org. Kickball League registration is available for a new adult co-ed league that starts April 7 at Riverview Park. Call 941-716-3163 or visit augustakickball.com. Miracle League Baseball registration will be held by The Family Y through March 10. $40. Call 706-922-9597 or visit thefamilyy.org. Wheelchair Tennis Clinic, presented by the Walton Foundation for Independence, meets each Monday at 6 p.m. (weather permitting) at The Club at Rae’s Creek. Free and open to the public. Call 706-826-5809 or email alsalley@wrh.org. Yoga Class at Euchee Creek Library meets every Tuesday at 4 p.m. Call 706556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. Weekly Group Runs include the Monday Metro Run meeting at Metro Coffeehouse at 6 p.m.; Monday Intervals meeting at the Family Y track on Wheeler Road at 7 p.m.; the Tuesday Nacho Mama’s Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday’s Blanchard Woods Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday Stay in Shape Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday’s Post Office Hill Training Run at 7 p.m.; Thursday’s Homer Hustle at 6 p.m.; and Saturday’s Stay in Shape Run at 8 a.m. Visit augustastriders.com. The Augusta Furies Women’s Rugby Football Club practices 6-8 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays at Julian Smith Casino for players 18 and up. Email augusta.furies@gmail.com or visit augustafuries.org. The Augusta Rugby Club holds weekly practice sessions at 6:30 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays at the Larry Bray Memorial Pitch in Augusta. Experienced players and newbies ages 18 and up are welcome. Bring a pair of cleats or cross trainers, a mouthguard, gym shorts and a T-shirt. Visit augustarugby.org or Facebook under the Augusta Rugby Club heading. AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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Hott Shott Disc Golf is held each Wednesday at 7 p.m. at Killer B Disc Golf in downtown Augusta, and features games and prizes for all ages and skill levels. $2. Call 706-8147514 or visit killerbdiscgolf.blogspot.com/p/hott-shott. Thursday Night Chain Reaction Ride begins at 6 p.m. each Thursday at Patriots Park in Grovetown. For intermediate to fast-paced cyclists, who average 25-32 miles. Participants should bring their own water and helmet. Call 706-855-2024 or visit chainreactionbicycles.net.

Family Movie Night will be held at The Kroc Center at 6 p.m., Friday, Feb. 22. Free. Children must be accompanied. Members may reserve seating. Call 706364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Riverview Disc Golf League meets each Thursday at 6 p.m. at Riverview Park in North Augusta. Entry fee, $5; ace pool, $1. Call 803-215-8181 or visit augustadiscgolf.com.

Safe Sitter Program will be offered at the Safe Kids Office for kids age 11-13, 8:45 a.m.-4 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 23. $35 includes lunch. Call 706-721-7606 or visit georgiahealth.org.

Road Bike Ride meets each Thursday at 6:30 p.m. at Andy Jordan’s Bicycle Warehouse downtown for an approximately 25-mile ride at a moderate to fast pace. Front and rear lights, as well as a helmet, are required. Call 706-724-6777 or visit andyjordans.com.

Basically Beethoven Kids Day will be held at The Kroc Center, all day, Saturday, Feb. 23. There will be a musical petting zoo at 9 a.m. and a viewing of “Basically Beethoven” at 2 p.m. Free. Call 706-3645762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Guided Trail Rides at Hilltop Riding Stables at Fort Gordon are available Saturdays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m., noon, 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m.; Sundays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m. and noon; and Wednesday-Friday at 11 a.m. with reservations 24 hours in advance. All trail rides are on a first-come, first-served basis, and participants should arrive 30 minutes prior to the trail ride starting for sign in procedures. $23-$30. Call 706-791-4864 or visit fortgordon.com.

You’re a Big Girl Now class to help girls cope with the emotional and physical changes that come with adolescence, will be held at Doctors Hospital for girls age 9-12 and their mothers, 10 a.m.-noon, Saturday, Feb. 23. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

Lakeside Rideouts at Hilltop Riding Stables at Fort Gordon are each Sunday beginning at 1:30 p.m. on a first-come, first-served basis. The ride, which begins at 2 p.m., is a two-hour guided ride to Wilkerson Lake. $45-$50. Call 706-791-4864 or visit fortgordon.com.

Parents’ Night Out will be held from 6-9:30 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 23 at the Wilson Family Y for kids age 4-12; at Family Y of Augusta South for kids age 8 weeks-12 years; and at the Marshall Family Y for children of deployed soldiers, ages 2-12. Kids enjoy a fun, entertaining night in while parents get to go and have a night out on their own. Members $12; nonmembers $20. Free at Marshall Family Y for deployed soldiers. Pre-registration required. Call 706-922-9622 or visit thefamilyy.org.

Adapted Aquatics for Special Populations offered at the Wilson Family Y by appointment. Members, $11 per session; non-members, $22 per session. Discount for additional siblings. Call 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org. Augusta Canal Interpretive Center and Petersburg boat tours winter schedule runs through March 31 and is as follows: The center is open from 9:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. Hour-long Petersburg boat canal tours depart at 11:30 a.m., 1:30 and 3 p.m. Admission to center is $6, or free with $12.50 boat tour ticket. Seniors 65 and older, active military/dependent and students (age 4-grade 12 or with valid college I.D.) are $2. One child under 3 per ticketed adult may get in free. Call 706-823-0440, ext. 4. Groups call ext. 7. Visit augustacanal.com. The Augusta Fencers Club is open five nights a week from 5:30-9 p.m. and most Saturday mornings from 10 a.m.-noon. Visitors always welcome. Call 706-722-8878. BlazeSports Swim Team, for all ages of physically challenged swimmers who want to train for competition, meets at the Wilson Family Y. Members, $35 a month; non-members, $45 a month. Pre-registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. Civil War 150th Canal Tour, “Food, Fabric and Firepower,” is offered by the Augusta Canal Interpretive Center at 1:30 daily through 2013. Call 706-823-0440 or visit augustacanal.com. Men’s Basketball Registration is at the Wilson Family Y through March 6 for ages 18 and up. Members, $40; non-members, $60. $20 team entry fee due by March 6. Season begins March 18. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Kids-Teens

Big Brother/Big Sister Class is at 6-7:30 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 21, at Doctors Hospital to help kids adjust to having a new baby brother or sister. Call 706651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Lego Club Meeting will take place at the Nancy Carson Library in North Augusta, 4-5 p.m., Friday, Feb. 22. Call 803-279-5767 or 803-642-7575, or visit abbe-lib.org. 26 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

After-Hours Scavenger Hunt will be held at the Headquarters Library for YA-age kids, 5:30-7:30 p.m., Friday, Feb. 22. There will be an African-American History Month theme. Participants must be in the building before it closes at 5:30. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

“Beethoven Lives Upstairs” will be shown in the KROC auditorium at 2 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 23. Call 706-8264706 or visit soaugusta.org.

“All About Frogs” will be held at Reed Creek Park for kids 5 and up, 7-8 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 23. Kids must be accompanied. Members free; non-members $2 per child. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com. “Follow the Drinking Gourd” will be shown at DuPont Planetarium to teach how slaves used astronomy and song to escape and find their freedom, 7 and 8 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 23. Reservations encouraged. General admission $4.50; seniors $3.50; students 4K-12 $2.50. Call 803-641-3654. “Full Moon Meander” will be held at Reed Creek Park for ages 5 and up, 7:30-8:30 p.m., Monday, Feb. 25. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com. President’s Day Story Time will be held for kids at the Headquarters Library, 10 a.m., Tuesday, Feb. 26. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. The Birds, The Bees and Me will be offered at Trinity Hospital for girls age 12-15, 6:30-9 p.m., Tuesday, Feb. 26. Pre-registration required. $10. Visit trinityofaugusta.com. Richmond County All-Elementary School Choral Festival will be held at Sacred Heart Cultural Center, 7 p.m., Tuesday, Feb. 26. Free. Visit sacredheartaugusta.org. “How the Elephant Got Its Trunk” will be performed by the Patchwork Players at the GRU Maxwell Performing Arts Theatre, 9:30 and 10:30 a.m., Wednesday, Feb. 27. $3 per person; $2 each in groups of 15 or more. Call 706-737-1625 or visit facebook.com/ gruliteracyplays. Nutrition for Kids will be held for kids age 3-7 at the Maxwell Library, 10 a.m., Wednesday, Feb. 27. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org. All About Pets Story Time will be held for kids at the 21FEBRUARY2013

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Headquarters Library, 10 a.m., Wednesday, Feb. 27. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Toddler Time will take place at the North Augusta Library, 10:30-11 a.m., Wednesday, Feb. 27. Call 803642-7575 or visit abbe-lib.org.

FORT GORDON DINNER THEATRE PRESENTS

Preschool Story Time will take place at the North Augusta Library, 11:15-11:45 a.m., Wednesday, Feb. 27. Call 803-642-7575 or visit abbe-lib.org. Celebrate African-American History will be held for those ages 5 and younger at the Diamond Lakes Library, 10 a.m., Thursday, Feb. 28. Registration required for groups of six or more. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Jazz for Kids will be held for kids preschool age and up at the Friedman Library as part of their Black History Month celebration, 10 a.m., Thursday, Feb. 28. Registration required for groups of six or more. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Celebrate Black History Month Contest is offered at the Headquarters Branch Library through Feb. 28. Stop by the children’s desk and pick up a contest form. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Kroc Tots Activity Hour for toddlers are held Fridays in February at 9:30 a.m. Members, free; non-members, $1. Visit krocaugusta.org. Swim Lessons are offered at the Wilson Family Y and the Family Y of Downtown Augusta for all skill levels from 6 months to adult beginners. Held in four-week sessions with twice-weekly classes through March 28. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. Tae Kwon Do is offered for all skill levels age 5 and up at the Family Y of Aiken County, North Augusta, Augusta South and the Wilson Family Y. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. Winter Basketball is held through March at the Family Y of North Jefferson for ages 7-18 years. Members, $30; nonmembers, $50. Call 706-547-2653 or visit thefamilyy.org. African-American History Month Trivia Contest is offered at the Columbia County Library for ages 8-11. Pick up a form from the registration desk, fill it out and drop it in the contest box. A prize will be awarded for the entry with the most correct answers and will be announced in February. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. Ceramics Class, for ages 14 and up, meets Mondays at 9 a.m. or 6 p.m., Tuesdays at 6 p.m., and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. in the Weeks Ceramics Center. Call 803-6427631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Creative Arts offered at the Family Y of North Augusta for ages 5-12 years. Members, $35 per month; nonmembers, $55 per month. Visit thefamilyy.org. Toddler Time, playtime for children ages 5 and under, is each Monday and Wednesday from 9:30-11:30 a.m. at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. $2 per visit; $16 per 10-visit pass. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Mother’s Morning Out is offered at the Family Y of North Augusta for ages 2-4 years, 9 a.m.-noon, either Monday and Wednesday or Tuesday and Thursday. Mothers enjoy a relaxing morning twice a week while kids learn. Members, $70 a month; non-members, $90 a month. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. Drop and Shop is offered at The Family Y of Augusta South for kids age 8 weeks-4 years, 8:30 a.m.-noon, Monday-Friday. Members, $5 a child per day; nonmembers, $7 a child per day. No reservation required. Visit thefamilyy.org. Little Friends Gym, a parent and child class for those ages 6 months-4 years, is held each Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov. 21FEBRUARY2013

March 1, 2, 7, 8, 9, 14, 15, 16, 2013 Dinner 7:00 p.m. | Show 8:00 p.m. Book by Heather Hach Music and Lyrics by Laurence O’Keefe and Nell Benjamin Based on the novel by Amanda Brown and the Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer motion picture Harvard’s beloved blonde takes the stage by pink storm in this fun, upbeat musical about self-discovery. Based on the adored movie, LEGALLY BLONDE: THE MUSICAL stays true to form with a peppy score and playful book. This musical is ridiculously enjoyable from start to finish. “Very funny. Zips by in an explosion of witty musical numbers and dance routines. Even the most dour character must surely leave the theatre secretly humming the catchy soundtrack.” – Daily Post “A modern fairytale. An enormous treat, not to be missed.” – Evening Chronicle

MENU

London Broil with Merlot Sauce, Seafood Alfredo, Honey Dijon Chicken, Philly Mashed Potatoes, Nutty Rice Pilaf, Cumin Roasted Carrots, Whole Green Beans, Mini Salad Bar, Iced tea or Starbucks Coffee, Deluxe Dessert Bar

TICKETS

Civilians: $45 | Seniors (65 & over), Retirees, DA Civilians, Active-Duty E7 & above: $43 Active-Duty E6 & below: $35 | Show only: $30

For reservations, call 706-793-8552 AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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Aiken. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Story Time is held at the Columbia County Library at 10:15 and 11 a.m. Tuesdays, for kids under 2 years old; at 10:15 a.m. Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays for 2-year-olds; at 11 a.m., Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays for preschoolers; and at 4 p.m. Wednesdays for all ages. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org.

Story Time at the Euchee Creek Branch Library, for all ages, is held each Wednesday at 10:30 a.m. and each Tuesday at 4:30 p.m. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org.

Loud Crowd, a supervised after-school program for those ages 4-12, is Monday-Friday from 3-6 p.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-8602833 or visit augustaga.gov.

Homeschool Playgroup meets each Thursday at 10:30 a.m. at Creighton Park in North Augusta. Call 803-613-0484.

Computer Classes for Seniors are taught at The Kroc Center Mondays and Thursdays. Registration required. Visit krocaugusta.org.

Mudpuppies, an arts and crafts program for ages 2-5, is held each Thursday at 10:45 a.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov.

Fit 4 Ever is offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken on Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays from 10-11 a.m. $27 for 10 tickets; free for SilverSneakers members. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

The Augusta Arsenal Soccer Club Junior Academy, for boys and girls ages 5-8, meets each Thursday at 5:30 p.m. at the Augusta Soccer Park. Call 706-854-0149 or visit augustasoccer.com.

Line Dancing is each Tuesday at the Weeks Center in Aiken at 10 a.m. $31 for 10 tickets; free for SilverSneakers Swipe Card members. Call 803-6427631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Fairy Tale Ballet is held at the Family Y of Aiken County. Offered once a week for one month for a total of four classes. Members, $25 a month; non-members, $35 a month. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Yoga I and II are offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays from 8:45-9:45 a.m. and on Mondays and Wednesdays from 5:30-6:30 p.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Boy and Girl Scout troops are hosted by Augusta Jewish Community Center. For Boy Scouts, visit troop119bsa.com or email geoffstew@gmail.com. For Girl Scouts, email sbehrend@bellsouth.net. For Daisy/ Brownie Troop, email bdmrev@yahoo.com.

Silver Sneakers, a senior exercise class, meets each Wednesday and Friday from 1:30-2:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Free. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Mother’s Morning Out is every Tuesday and Thursday, 9 a.m.-1 p.m., at the Wilson Family Y for children ages 3-4. The schedule follows the Richmond County school calendar. $90 per month for members; $110 per month for non-members. Register at any Family Y or visit thefamilyy.org. Story Time is held at the Diamond Lakes Branch library 10 a.m. each Tuesday. Registration required for groups of six or more. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Tai Chi Panda, a Chinese martial arts program for kids ages 5-13, meets Tuesdays and Thursdays. Ages 5-7 meet at 4 p.m.; ages 8-10 meet at 5 p.m.; ages 11-13 meet at 6 p.m. Call 706-394-0590 or visit augustameditation.com/taichi.html. Preschool Story Time is every Tuesday at Headquarters Branch Library at 10 a.m. Toddler Story Time is every Wednesday at 10 a.m. Group registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is held every Tuesday at 10 a.m. at Friedman Branch Library. Groups of six or more must pre-register. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Harlem Branch Library. Call 706-556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org. Lap-Sit Story Time, for children under 2, is held every Tuesday at the Columbia County Library at 11 a.m. Story time for 2-year-olds is every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday at 10:15 a.m. and for preschoolers at 11 a.m. Group registration required. Call 706-8631946 or visit ecgrl.org. Kroc Trotters Running Group, for those ages 16 and older, meets at 6:30 p.m. each Tuesday and Thursday at the Kroc Center to run the trails of the Augusta Canal. $15. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Story Time is held every Wednesday from 10-11:15 a.m. at Wallace Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is held each Wednesday at 10 a.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Pre-registration required for groups. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org. Wacky Wednesday Story Time is each Wednesday at 10 a.m. in the children’s department of Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall. Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com. Story Time is held each Wednesday at the Appleby Branch Library from 10:05-10:20 a.m. for toddlers age 18-35 months, and from 10:30-11:15 a.m. for preschool kids age 3 and up. An adult must remain with the child. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is every Wednesday at 10:15 a.m. for pre-K, and either 11 or 11:30 a.m. for preschoolers at Aiken County Public Library. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org. Story Time is every Wednesday from 10:30-11 a.m. for toddlers and 11:15-11:45 a.m. for preschoolers at North Augusta Branch Library. Call 803-279-5767 or abbe-lib.org. 28 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Creek Freaks, a Georgia Adopt-a-Stream team of middle- and high-school students, meets regularly at Phinizy Swamp Nature Park to monitor the health of Butler Creek. Call 706-796-7707 or visit naturalscienceacademy.org. Fun-Time Fridays, for ages 2-5, is held each Friday at 10:45-11:30 a.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov.

Tai Chi for Seniors is held 11 a.m.-noon every Thursday at Augusta Jewish Community Center. Call 706-394-0590 visit augustameditation.com/taichi.html. Dancin’ with the Young at Heart, an event geared toward those ages 50 and older although anyone is welcome, is each Friday at 7:30 p.m. at the Aiken DAV. In addition to dancing to Yesterday’s Sounds, there will also be prize drawings, snack and drinks. $6. Call 803-292-3680.

Weekly Wine Tastings at Vineyard Wine Market in Evans are held 4:30-6:30 p.m. Fridays, and 1-6 p.m. Saturdays. Call 706-922-9463 or visit vine11.com. Bingo is held every Saturday at 1 p.m. at American Legion Post 205 on Highland Avenue. Call 706-495-3219.

Spiritual

Bible Teaching Seminar will be held at the Friedman Library, noon-1 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 23. Participants should bring their Bibles. Call 706-691-4023 or visit donaldsao.com. Purim Carnival will be held at the Augusta Jewish Community Center, 1-4 p.m., Sunday, Feb. 24. Lunch will be served noon-1 p.m. Visit augustajcc.org. Sunday activities at the Kroc Center include an adult Bible class at 9:30 a.m., youth Sunday school at 9:45 a.m., and a worship service at 11 a.m. Free. Call 706364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Elsewhere

Karate is offered at The Family Y of Thomson 130 Center and Family Y of North Jefferson for all skill levels. Members, $43 a month; non-members, $63 a month. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. “Impressionism from Monet to Matisse” exhibit will be on display at the Columbia Museum of Art through April 21. Adults, $15; seniors and military, $12; students, $5; kids 5 and under, free; members, free. Call 803-799-2810 or visit columbiamuseum.org. “Anxious Visions” by surrealist Michael Northuis will be on display at the Columbia Museum of Art until April 7. Call 803-799-2810 or visit columbiamuseum.org.

Tea Seminar will be held at The Curiosity Shop in Aiken, 4-7 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 28. Features herbal infusions and flavored green teas. $20. Call 803-644-0004 or visit curiosityshoptea.com.

“Sketching Politics,” an exhibit of political cartooning, will be on display at Hickory Hill historic house in Thomson through April 15. General admission, $3; seniors, $2; children, $1. School and educational groups are admitted for free, but must make reservations. Visit hickory-hill.org.

Seniors

Bingo is held every Sunday at 1:30 p.m. and every Monday and Thursday at 7 p.m. at the Fraternal Order of the Eagles Post 1197 on Scott Road. Free. Call 706-495-3219.

Thursday Nights at the High, a special event at the High Museum of Art in Atlanta, offers half-price tickets from 4-8 p.m. each Thursday. A guided tour is offered at 6:30 p.m. Call 404-733-4200 or visit high.org.

Senior Circle Coffee Connections will take place at SMLCR, 8:30-9:30 a.m., Wednesday, Feb. 27. Call 706481-7000 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Crafters Night is each Monday from 6-8 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Gymnastics Lessons offered at the Family Y of Thomson 130 Center for a combination of age and ability levels. Members, $43 per month; non-members, $63 per month. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Gesher, a teen program for post b’nai mitzvah youngsters (7th-12th grade), meets every other Sunday at Adas Yeshurun Synagogue. Call 706-733-9491. Senior Circle Excursion will take place at the Blue Willow Inn and Antique Road Show, 8 a.m.-6 p.m., Friday, Feb. 22. Call 706-481-7000 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

AARP Tax Aide allows seniors to have their returns prepared for free at The Kroc Center through April 15. Call 706-364-4064 or visit krocaugusta.org. Silversneakers strength and range of movement class is offered Mondays and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. and Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays at 11:15 a.m., while Silversneakers Yogastretch is offered Mondays and Wednesdays at 11:15 a.m. at the Weeks Center in

DECLASSIFIED

Homeschool PE Time, for elementary school aged kids, meets Monday-Friday, from 9-11 a.m. at the Kroc Center. Members free. Call 706-364-5762 for nonmember prices. Visit krocaugusta.org.

Study Hall for teens meets Wednesdays from 3-5 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-8212600 or visit ecgrl.org/teens.

Ceramics Class is offered at 9 a.m. on Mondays or Wednesdays and 6 p.m. on Mondays or Tuesdays at the Weeks Center. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Hobbies

Simple Cooking Class meets each Monday from 6:308:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. The Garden City Chorus, the area’s leading men’s singing group and a member of the Barbershop Harmony Society, is seeking new members. Those interested are welcome to attend Tuesday night rehearsals, held at 7 p.m. at North Augusta Church of Christ on W. Martintown Road. Visit gardencitychorus.org.

Art and Music Classes offered at the Family Y of Thomson 130 Center for all ages. Members, $25 per month; nonmembers, $35 per month. Visit thefamilyy.org.

If you would like to see your organization’s events listed in our calendar, please email Amy Christian at amy@themetrospirit.com. The deadline for each Thursday’s issue is the previous Friday at noon.

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15 in 5

Because I love a list. Especially a random list. 1. Once again, The Kids brought store-bought Valentines to their friends at school. They cost $1 a box on sale at Walgreens. If The Kids are happy, I am too. We did splurge and buy Fun Dip to give out as well. The trend of handmade, Pinterest-inspired Valentines seems to be waning. We only got one this year. It was appreciated, but not anymore than the Transformers hologram or Hello Kitty tattoo. 2. When did Valentine’s Day start rivaling Halloween for highest amount of candy to pass through the door? Everyone at The Kids’ school was off-thecharts hyper. It felt like a Friday. Unfortunately for the teachers and staff, it was Thursday. 3. This year, Valentine’s Day came after Ash Wednesday. For anyone giving up sweets for Lent, this posed a new challenge. The Kids considered it. Once they realized they couldn’t eat any Fun Dip or Reese’s hearts, a new plan was in order. I promised to save it all until Easter. That wasn’t enough. 4. After a friend mentioned that she was giving up yelling during Lent, I thought that might be good for us. We don’t yell all the time, and it’s certainly not our only way of communicating with our kids, but it’s the most effective. Just the other day, everyone was taking their time eating breakfast before school. I hate the morning rush, but if we’re going to get to school on time, The Kids need a nudge. I asked, “Can y’all please hurry? You can still talk to each other, but make sure we’re in forward motion.” I used a friendly, patient tone. I repeated the same thing, in the same tone at least 10 times. Once I was ready to leave the house, they (of course) were not. I used a more, uh, forceful tone, and they finished almost immediately. 5. I wonder if I should just start off yelling and save my breath. The calm words aren’t well received or obeyed nearly as often. 6. We did decide to give up yelling for Lent. This includes, but is not limited to, fighting with your sister or brother. So far, we’ve only been mildly successful. I’m absolutely sure that giving up candy would’ve been easier. 7. Is it inappropriate if, in addition to recognizing the sacrifices made for us, we add a “Yelling Jar,” wherein a quarter must go if yelling occurs? Just a little extra push. 8. At the very least, we’ve been given plenty of opportunities to discuss why it’s important (and just nice!) to speak with patience and kindness. We’re all learning lessons. I might be learning the most. 9. The Boy turned nine last weekend. I know it sounds silly to say, “I can’t believe my kid is nine.” I mean, I can do the math. I know how much time has passed. Like all other parents who have paved my way, I’ll say it. “I can’t believe my kid is nine.” It’s cliché and silly, but the time passes too fast. I miss when he was a baby. I’m proud of the boy he’s become, and I can’t wait to see what’s next. 10. When asked how it felt to be nine, he confidently said, “I definitely have more arm hair than I did yesterday.”

11. He chose Mexican for his birthday dinner. We didn’t complain. He wanted the free dessert. When he found out the servers must sing to him in order to get the birthday fried ice cream, he declined. Thinking he didn’t want the clanging of pots and pans and the loud, slightly embarrassing “Feliz Compleanos,” I told him we could just buy him dessert. A few minutes later, he admitted the real reason for not wanting to be a part of the spectacle. “I don’t want to wear the hat,” he said. Again, I get it. The kid loves performing, but he hates to be embarrassed. Don’t we all? Finally, though, we got to the root of it all. “I just don’t want to get lice.” 12. He got the fried ice cream. No sombrero. 13. My head is itching at the thought of it all. 14. Sorry if yours is, too. 15. On a lighter, less nasty note, the Groundhog didn’t see his shadow. I sure hope that means something. Maybe it just means it was a cloudy day. Was it? I’ll pretend it’s good news, even if it’s silly. I’m an optimist. Spring’s coming, y’all. Cheers!

JENNYWRIGHT lives in Summerville with her husband, who she calls The Man, and two kids, who she affectionately calls The Boy and The Girl. She enjoys taking photos, cooking and playing tennis.

21FEBRUARY2013

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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3035 WASHINGTON ROAD

Operation Thunder! Run! No seriously, you can run or walk, but you can’t drive. The authorities were out in full force this past weekend with Operation Thunder, cracking down on drinking and driving. Figuratively popping a squat on Calhoun Expressway and turning the place into what some were calling a parking lot. Luckily for myself, I don’t drink and drive, and I live downtown. But I did find it funny how I overheard people talking about not going out much anymore because of this and my first response was, “Why don’t you just not drink and drive?” I feel so old having to be a person of reason, but the equation is simple: drinking equals calling a cab. I think this is a good thing for the city. Driving in Augusta is already bad enough because people normally drive like they are mentally impaired on a weekday at lunch, let alone after at one a.m. after a couple of drinks. So be safe out there and drink responsibly. Don’t let this hold you back from seeing some great shows around the CSRA either. Just keep in mind: Maybe you don’t need that last shot of Jack Daniels before you walk out the door. There, I feel better. There are some very cool shows coming to Augusta in the next couple of weeks. If you’re picking up the paper the day that it comes out, Thursday, February 21, head over to Sky City to see the Athens-based band, Mother The Car, with special guests No Beat, Billie Vacation and Shaun Piazza. If that’s not to your liking, you can head over to the Playground Bar for Barb Wire Dolls featuring False Flag. Two good shows in one night, and a school night at that. I’ll take it. The weekend then gets kicked off with the best ‘80s band in Augusta, Acid Wash. Big Troy and the boys head over to the Loft on Friday night. As always, spandex is optional, and very much encouraged. Adrian at the Loft will personally thank you. If you aren’t familiar with many local bands around the CSRA, here’s your shot at seeing a ton of them in one night. The 2013 Lokal Loudness Awards are on Friday night as well, with six bands set to perform. Jacob Beltz will kick everything off with a solo set and it’s only $5 to get in. Time to pull out your calendars and write down some shows. Next weekend, Friday, March 1, if it’s not already sold out, the brand new M.A.D. Studios welcome in Mann Ray and De-Evolutionaries. Then on Saturday, March 2, Steve Hall Productions presents The Last Bison with Swear & Shake and The Ramblin’ Fevers at Sky City. Steve Hall, who I’ve known since my radio days in Alabama, has been bringing in some of the best shows for the past couple of years and already has some great shows lined up for 2013. This show is no exception. A big congratulations goes out to Augusta’s own Will McCranie. Will has been making his way in the music scene in New York City for the past five years and released a brand new single this past Tuesday. Head to iTunes and download “Ain’t That Strange?” and support him. Will is doing great, making new music, and touring nonstop. Hopefully little Willie Mac will be back for a show in Augusta soon. Another Augusta band is making waves with new music and a new tour, this time it’s the band Veara. Their first local show of 2013 is Friday, March 22, at Sector 7G, with $12 advance tickets. Details about the new album are soon to follow. I got a sneak peek and it’s awesome. Some other music you should check out comes from the band Pucifer, a side project of Tool frontman, Maynard James Keenan. The new album is called “Donkey Punch the Night” (I will pause for laughter here). What shows are coming to Augusta? Where is the best live venue? Fine, we can’t drink and drive, but can the police just drive me home? Email me at matt@themetrospirit.com.

MATTSTONE can be heard weekdays from 2-6 p.m. on 95 Rock.

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FEATURED

February 21 21Thursday, Live Music

First Round - Chris Hardy French Market Grille West - Doc Easton Smooth Jazz Joe’s Underground - Ruskin MAD Studios - Glennwood Urbz, open mic poetry and spoken word Malibu Jack’s - Marilyn Adcock Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Live and Local Rose Hill Estate - Preston Weston & Sandra Sky City - Mother the Car w/ Shaun Piazza & Billie Vacation Surrey Tavern - Open Jam Session The Willcox - Four Cats in a Doghouse Wild Wing - Tiki Barflys

The Burning Angels, founded by the Welfare Liners’ Mark Cunningham, visit Stillwater Taproom Friday, February 22. Music starts at 10 p.m. $5.

What’s Tonight?

Chevy’s Nite Club - Karaoke Club Argos - Valentine’s Sweetheart Party Cocktails Lounge - Karaoke Coyote’s - DJ Richie Rich & Chad Mac Music Video Mixx Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Fox’s Lair - Trivia, Soup and Suds Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Highlander - Butt Naked Trivia Joe’s Underground - Trivia w/ Jacob & Wendell The Loft - Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Evans) - Karaoke The Playground - Open Mic with Brandy Shannon’s - Karaoke Villa Europa - Karaoke Wooden Barrel - ’80s Night Karaoke

February 22 22Friday, Live Music

100 Laurens - Brent Lundy Carolina Ale House - Jim Perkins Chevy’s Nite Club - Live Music Country Club - Ross Coppley Coyote’s - Dave Firmin, Rhes Reeves & the Coyote Band Doubletree - Classic Jazz First Round - Ravenswood French Market Grille West - Doc Easton Joe’s Underground - TX Clergy Malibu Jack’s - Tony Williams PI Bar & Grill - Jazz Duo Polo Tavern - Awkward Exit Sky City - The Ramblin’ Fevers, She N She, Stillview, False Flag Somewhere In Augusta - The Unmentionables Stillwater Taproom - The Burning Angels Surrey Tavern - Playback The Band with Tutu Dy’Vine Wild Wing - Irritating Julie

What’s Tonight?

Cocktails Lounge - Grown-Up Fridays with DJ Cork and Bull Pub - Karaoke Eagle’s Nest - Free Salsa Lessons; Latin Dance Party Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Iron Horse Bar & Grill - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke with Ryan Moseley Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke with Jeff Barnes Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Three J’s Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke 21FEBRUARY2013

Palmetto Tavern - DJ Tim The Playground - DJ Rebeck’s Hideaway - Open Mic Roadrunner Cafe - Karaoke with Steve Chappel Soul Bar - Disco Hell Wooden Barrel - Karaoke Contest

February 23 23Saturday, Live Music

100 Laurens - Keith Gregory The Acoustic Coffeehouse - Open Acoustic Jam Session with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Chevy’s Nite Club - Live Music Country Club - Chris Lane Band Coyote’s - Dave Firmin, Rhes Reeves & the Coyote Band First Round - Sunwell, Dead End Sons Joe’s Underground - Jeff Johnston MAD Studios - Eric W. Morton, Garrison Blagg Malibu Jack’s - South Atlantic Metro Coffeehouse & Pub - Josh Pierce P.I. Bar and Grill - Not Gaddy Jazz with Pam Bowman Polo Tavern - Robbie Ducey Band Sky City - Some Machine, Six, F.O.C.U.S., Celia Gary Soul Bar - First Born Stillwater Taproom - Jesup Dolly, Lauren St. Jane Surrey Tavern - The Cheaters Wild Wing - High Maintenance

What’s Tonight?

Club Argos - Variety Show Cocktails Lounge - Latin Night Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Loft - DJ Richie Rich Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke with Rockin Rob Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Karaoke with Danny Haywood Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke Robbie’s - Saturday Night Dance Party Wooden Barrel - Kamikaze Karaoke

February 24 24Sunday, Live Music

5 O’Clock Bistro - Funk You Cotton Patch - Keith Gregory (brunch) Malibu Jack’s - Playback The Band w/ Tutu Dy’Vine Patridge Inn - Sunday Evening Jazz w/ the Not Gaddy Jazz Trio

Wild Wing - John Kolbeck The Willcox - Jon Vaughn, brunch; Preston & Weston, night

What’s Tonight?

Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke, Salsa Dancing Shannon’s - Karaoke with Peggy Gardner

February 25 25Monday, Live Music Shannon’s - Open Mic Night Sky City - That 1 Guy, Wolff

What’s Tonight?

Applebee’s (Evans) - Trivia Club Argos - Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Trivia Robolli’s - Trivia with Mike Thomas Somewhere in Augusta - Poker

February 26 26Tuesday, Live Music

The Highlander - Open Mic Night Shannon’s - Karaoke Contest Somewhere In Augusta - Charles Diprietro Wild Wing - Cody Webb The Willcox - Piano jazz

What’s Tonight?

Chevy’s Nite Club - Shag Night Club Argos - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Dart League Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane Limelight Cafe - Bottom’s Up Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - Poker Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Trivia The Playground - Truly Twisted Trivia with Big Troy Polo Tavern - Karaoke Shannon’s - Karaoke with Mike Johnson Somewhere In Augusta - Big Prize Trivia Surrey Tavern - Tubeday Tuesday Movie Night

February 27 27Wednesday, Live Music

Chevy’s Nite Club - Steve Chappel Joe’s Underground - Kathleen TurnerOverdrive

Malibu Jack’s - Marilyn Adcock

What’s Tonight?

Club Argos - Santoni’s Satin Dolls Cocktails Lounge - Augusta’s Got Talent Cotton Patch - Trivia and Tunes Hotel Aiken - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane The Loft - Karaoke Midtown Lounge - Karaoke w/ Charles O’Byrne Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke with Rockin’ Rob The Playground - Krazy Karaoke with Big Troy Polo Tavern - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Somewhere In Augusta - Comedy Zone w/ The Saints and Sinners Tour Surrey Tavern - Trivia with Christian and Mickey Wild Wing - Trivia

Upcoming

The Hermit Kings - Sky City February 28 Jerod Gay - Somewhere In Augusta February 28 Lo Fidelty - Wild Wing February 28 Phil Vaught - Country Club March 1 AcostA - Joe’s Underground March 1 Josh Hilley Band - Polo Tavern March 1 Thomas Tillman - Country Club March 2 Swyrv - Joe’s Underground March 2 Jim Fisher Band - Polo Tavern March 2 The Last Bison, Swear and Shake, The Ramblin’ Fevers - Sky City March 2 Sibling String - Joe’s Underground March 6 Classical Mystery Tour - Bell Auditorium March 8 Scarletta - Country Club March 8 Cameras, Guns, & Radios - MAD Studios March 8 The Hollerers - Polo Tavern March 8 Little Tybee CD Release Show w/ Colorfeels - Sky City March 8 Paleface - Stillwater Taproom March 8 Bloodkin - Surrey Tavern March 8 Black Jack Billy - Country Club March 9 Gaslight Street - Surrey Tavern March 9 Lindsay Lou and the Flat Bellys - Stillwater Taproom March 29 Jason White - Laura’s Backyard Tavern April 5 The Broadcast - Surrey Tavern April 11 Carrie Underwood - James Brown Arena April 19 Alice in Chains - Bell Auditorium May 1 AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 33

THE

EIGHT

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BOX TOPS

Oh, Bruce... How long are you going to milk this franchise? RANK

TITLE

WEEKEND GROSS

TOTAL GROSS

WEEK #

LAST WEEK

1

A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD

$24,825,000

$33,064,000

1

-

2

IDENTITY THIEF

$23,674,000

$70,962,000

2

1

3

SAFE HAVEN

$21,451,000

$30,279,000

1

-

4

ESCAPE FROM PLANET EARTH

$15,907,000

$15,907,000

1

-

5

WARM BODIES

$8,830,000

$50,051,000

3

2

SAMEIFLING

“A Good Day to Die Hard” A thrilling dud is still a dud

The gist of “A Good Day to Die Hard” can only be summarized in onomatopoeia. Maybe best is the “eeeechhhPOOOO” of cars colliding at top speeds, or the “thuhFOOM” of something exploding in just about every scene, or the “blaat-blaat-blaat-blaat-blaat-blaat” of a helicopter’s side guns, or the “kchtTCHHHHE” of windows shattering. It may not be much of a movie, all told — the plot is so patchy you can hear the wind whistle through it, and the dialogue is so heavy-handed it can’t touch its own nose — but my, does this movie love to break a vehicle. It will become a swift favorite for anyone who hates cars and loves to see them crushed, shot, blown up, ejected from overpasses and pulverized. There must be a name for such a disorder, borrowing mostly Greek suffixes and prefixes. Whatever it might be, those heretofore marginalized individuals now have their “Citizen Kane.” If this fourth “Die Hard” sequel were any more high on its own smashy fumes, it would be an actual monster truck. As it stands, it is merely a 97-minute impersonation of same. Now, so long as the disclaimer is out of the way, and everyone is clear that this is, on balance, the weakest of the “Die Hard” films, there is some genuine fun to be had. Director John Moore (five feature film credits, none rated better than 50 percent on Metacritic) sure knows his way around a detonation. And Bruce Willis as John McClane is still Bruce Willis as John McClane. This time he’s going to Moscow to try and help his son, the strapping Jai Courtney, who has been picked up for murder and roped into a trial against a Russian politician with a dark past. We learn in quick order that the younger McClane is a CIA operative charged with protecting a grizzled Russian (Sebastian Koch) with serious dirt on the politician; somewhere this guy has a file that defines the very notion of a MacGuffin but which, when explained, does seem to justify the CIA’s involvement. Loose nukes! Just imagine of all the “Die Hard” sequels that could result if they hit the black market. Anyway, the older McClane shows up to help the younger McClane and all hell breaks loose. They don’t get along very well and apparently haven’t been on

FEBRUARY 22 ACTION

“Snitch,” rated PG-13, starring Dwayne Johnson, Susan Sarandon, Jon Bernthal, Harold Perrineau, Michael Kenneth Williams. It helps to have The Rock heading up this otherwise cliché action story of a father going undercover with the DEA to save his kidnapped son. Of course, it also helps that the movie is based on a true story and that it also boasts alum from badass TV shows like “The Walking Dead,” “Oz” and “The Wire.” And that it has Susan Sarandon in it, who is the very definition of badass.

34 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

speaking terms much, which makes sense, given that when they do speak almost nothing of any value or originality is exchanged. Dad didn’t have time for Junior, we get it. Now they have to shoot their way out of the grudge, fine. The disappointment is in branding this big-budget schlockapalooza a “Die Hard” movie. Used to be that these movies carried a bit more imagination, a panache that separated McClane from the other shoot-’em-up lunkheads of the ’80s and ’90s. But there’s almost none of that here. Notwithstanding a couple of clever nods to the original “Die Hard” (a twist on the glass-shooting scene, a rooftop shot that will look familiar) this could’ve been cast with almost anyone and titled almost anything. The European espionage suggests “Bourne,” while the brassy score winks at “Bond.” Then the wanton big-bore machine-gunning and resigned show of overwhelming force announces that, far from the legacies of those franchises or its own, “A Good Day to Die Hard” yokes its entire storyline to stunts and special effects. From that echoes a thrilling “thud,” but it’s a “thud” all the same.

HORROR

“Dark Skies,” rated PG-13, starring Keri Russell, Josh Hamilton, J.K. Simmons. From the suicide-bombing birds to the way Keri Russell looks like she’s having a seizure while talking to her neighbors, this movie might be pretty creepy. Hopefully the director of “Legion” and “Priest” won’t let us down. He did, after all, get the Farmers Insurance guy to take part. Love that guy.

DRAMA

“Inescapable,” not rated, starring Joshua Jackson, Marisa Tomei, Alexander Siddig, Oded Fehr. Damascus native Adib finds out his daughter has disappeared, so he has to return to Syria to find her. What’s with all these kids always getting into trouble? 21FEBRUARY2013

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V24|NO08

Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Mayra DaVitte, Suzette Morris and Jenny DeVitte at the Price Is Right Live at the Bell Auditorium.

SIGHTINGS

Renee Oliver, Cher Best and Aretha Eason at the Price Is Right Live at the Bell Auditorium.

Karen and Aaron Fultz with Emily and Mark Schreiber at the Price Is Right Live at the Bell Auditorium.

SIGHTINGS

Charlene Robinson, Teresa Pontoon and Latasha Tyler Schreiber at the Price Is Right Live at the Bell Auditorium.

Singer-songwriter Ronnie Milsap with Marcie and Michael Brittingham at SOA’s Pops! at the Bell.

SIGHTINGS

Miranda Soloff, Brittany Munnerlyn and Meleena Koulianos at the Country Club.

Scott and Shannon Farlow with Tracy and Joe NeyMeyer at Winter Jam 2013 Spectacular at the James Brown Arena.

Steve Brantley, Patience Hayes and Mike Bryan at SOA’s Pops! at the Bell.

Michael Johnson

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Trip James, Kaylee Reid, Makencie May and Davey LLoyd at Winter Jam 2013 Spectacular at the James Brown Arena.

Are you so frustrated with your computer you’ve considered tossing it out the window? Is it so slow you can barely use it? Are you having trouble getting to your favorite web page... or facebood? Are you even tempted to teake it to one of those Big Box Stores for service? Think again! Do you really want the place that sells you envelopes or flat screen TVs working on your computer? Bring it to ComputerOne today... and our real computer guys will make it all better at a price you can afford. We’re the opposite of a Big Box Store. We’re the little store in Fairway Square and although we have our own of computer experts, we dont really call them geeks (at least to their faces). They’re just competent, skilled computer technicians with the know-how to clean up your computer at a reasonable price and get you back on the internet fast. And although we’re not keeping score, given the fact we’re celebrating our 25th anniversary this year, it is very likely we’ve sold and repaired more computers than any other company in Augusta... and we have thousands of satisfied customers to prove it.

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21FEBRUARY2013

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VALERIEEMERICK

Rolling Strong

Sirens celebrate fifth season of family friendly bouts and community involvement

The Soul City Sirens, Augusta’s only female roller derby team, will kick-off its fifth season this Sunday, February 24, at Red Wing Rollerway. Jessica Thompson Christian founded the Sirens in 2008, and since then the team has grown into a fully operational nonprofit organization that has had hundreds of members over the last five years that have traveled the entire southeastern region representing Augusta. “We’ve become a lot more organized,” explains Jason Craig, the head coach for the team. “When it first started, it was just something to do and then it quickly evolved into a business. With any type of business, there’s lot of stuff to do to keep it going.” Some of the “stuff” to keep the team going involves generating sponsors and revenue to support expenses, which is an ongoing occurrence. But, the Sirens do more than skate. Over the past five years they have spent many hours and resources giving back to the community and have established themselves as an institution within the CSRA. “Because of [roller] derby, it has raised my level of community involvement,” says Craig. “We’re always doing stuff in the community anywhere we can.” And he does mean anywhere. “Whether it be giving out water at Ironman or stamping hands at the pub crawl,” he adds, “but we also go to benefits — we’re not trying to make money, we’re just trying to help. Like last night, we went to steak night at the American Legion and let all the vets and everybody just take the night off. We had girls that were serving, and I was washing dishes and we did all that stuff. We give back to the community as much as we can.” Another aspect of the derby that most people may not know about is how closeknit and family-like the women on the team are. They may look like adversaries on the rink, but off the skates they’re all friends. When asked her favorite part of being a Soul City Siren, skater Sophia Jones (aka Ragin Contagion) replied with no hesitation, “The camaraderie.” She explains further, “I moved up here [from St. Petersburg, Florida] with my husband in the summer of 2010 and didn’t know anybody, so it was an easy way to get to meet people and have a support system and that kind-of thing.” Veronica Mulkey (aka Domestic Disturbance), the Sirens’ current captain and president, was also quick to brag about the camaraderie on the team. “We all hang-out outside of derby,” Mulkey says. “We all lose our tempers sometimes at practice but, in the end, we’re all on the same team. We all go out together — we have parties at each other’s houses… they gave me a bachelorette party… we’ve had several baby showers… We’re like a big extended family.” The Sirens have six home bouts scheduled for the 2013 season that will take place at Red Wing Rollerway. Bouts are family friendly and children 12 years old and under get in free. “We just bought our own bounce house,” Mulkey says, explaining that the team wanted something for the younger kids to do at the bouts and this is something everyone will enjoy. Soul City Sirens vs. the Richland County Regulators Red Wing Rollerway | Sunday, February 24 Doors, 5:30 p.m.; bout, 6:30 p.m. | $10, advance; $15, door brownpapertickets.com/event/322948 21FEBRUARY2013

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METROSPIRIT 37

LINE

Anyone curious as to whom North Augusta will be awarding their paving contracts to now that David McGhee has been elected to council? Well it would appear the RCSO and the state have discovered a new plan for producing income for the state treasury - and all in the name of safety for all. BTW they must have taken a few lessons from the Nazis - “Ausweise bitte”. I absolutely hate any government that has routine stops to ask me what I am doing? If they want to “Serve and Protect”, then start patrolling my neighborhood. PS maybe if they would do a better job of keeping people in the right lanes except when passing, there wouldn’t be so much road rage. Who gave WJBF-TV the right to let a racist like Austin Rhodes,do Black History Month? For 2010, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell was paid $11.60 million. For 2011, he was paid $29.49 million. That’s a 254.22% pay increase in one year. Did any of you get a 254.22% pay increase over the last year - or any year? If you were lucky, you probably got 3%. Why can’t you people see what I try to tell you every week in the Whine Line? What the sam-hell is wrong with you people? A whine that has been a long time coming to all of the nurses I have worked with recently in Augusta. While I understand that your job is stressful, and we all have days that are worse than others, how about you stop for a second and remember why you decided on this career path to begin with. There are so many heartless bitchy nurses that belittle other essential hospital employees and make it clear on a daily basis that they are only at work to collect a paycheck. You are not doctors, and you are not in a field where you can choose when you feel like being compassionate or appreciative of those around you. It takes a lot more people to make a patient’s stay a positive and productive one than just you, so get over yourselves...or find a job where you can make good money being a stuck up, comapassion and appreciation lacking bitch. Any clothing store that carries vintage Jordache jeans and Meber’s Only jackets is hardly fashion Hell. It sounds like fashion heaven to me.

38 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

WHINELINE@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM

Have something you want to get off your chest? Send your whines to whineline@themetrospirit. com. If you do so by noon on Friday, you might just see it in the next Thursday’s issue. Oh, and whines may be edited for content but will pretty much be printed exactly as you type them.

Hallo gibt. Ich fand Ihre Webseite via Google bei der Suche nach einer ähnlichen Sache, hat Ihre Website hier auf. Es scheint gut. Ich habe bookmarked es in meinem Google Bookmarks später wieder zu kommen. it’s interesting that you include the new york times crossword in your publication. is anyone in augusta intelligent enough to finish it? i’ve yet to meet ‘em...would’nt it be more profitable to use that page for advertising? i assume josh ruffin must live geographically close to wisconson: i’m sure the metro spirit does’nt pay much for his articles, hence no plane ticket to go drink beer. and for the ‘’homeless guy’’ at the convention, he’d probably be more at home shooting down to the local stop-n-rob and grabbing a couple cans of naddy-ice.

the chaos. When they arrived, I heard both bartenders tell the cops the girls were hammered and shouldn’t be driving. If a disorderly conduct citation couldn’t have been given, how about at least not let the fired up drunks, who just caused a scene, get in their car and drive away? Where is the service and protection in that scenario? The last two times I picked up my Metro Spirit, I noticed a new periodical next to it entitled Faith Magazine. Just what Augusta needs - another dollop of religiosity heaped upon its antiquated, provincial, myopic, 24/7/365 Bronze-Age mythological mindset. Scheeeeesh! And don’t tell me: “Delta is ready when you are”, because the real question is: “Will U-Haul be ready when I am?”

I have to disagree with the person who said “your paper sucks” The Metro Spirit could be the best newspaper in Augusta if it would combine with the Medical Examiner adding Daniel R. Pearson and “Bad Billy Laveau, M.D.” Maybe put the Augusta Chronicle out of business! I just wanted to thank the Metro Spirit for hiring actual WRITERS, like Eric Johnson and Valerie Emerick. I tried to enjoy the daily newspaper recently, but it was like reading Vogon poetry. I guess they stay in business because people THINK their circulation is whatever-they-claim-a-day, but I’m pretty sure that Billy Morris uses most of those copies to stuff the ballot boxes around here. Anyway, keep up the good writing. It tends to be why people read. The schlemiel who bashed Bonnie Ruben’s clothing store for being “70s fashion Hell” is completely meshugganah! Obviously they have never heard of vintage chic before. I guess they buy all of their clothes at the cookie cutter mall stores. I wish to emphasize the need to research your piercer before getting any piercings. That being said word of mouth is the best form of advertisement. A good piercer deserves a good reputation. [Name redacted] is not such a piercer. Despite being promised support after getting my overpriced dermals, I have nothing to show for them but a scar where I was pinched so hard it left tissue damage. I made several attempts to contact him to get them either replaced or my money back and each time was denied any service. Do your research before choosing a piercer or you may end up paying the price like me.

up

THUMBS

WHINE

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Goodwill gives Augusta its newest fine dining restaurant? Nice!

down

Al’s Family Restaurant in North Augusta closes? Say it ain’t so!

Sat and watched 4 girls cause such a scene last night, one girl threw a glass at a bartender. The cops were called to break up

21FEBRUARY2013

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