Metro Spirit 02.26.2004

METRO SPIRIT Augusta’s Independent Voice

Feb. 26-Mar. 3 Vol. 15 No. 30

Charles Larke's $310,000

PAYCHECK

Willie Nelson in Augusta p.41

Is Joey Brush in Trouble? p.13

!

!

!

!

!

The Professionals In Office Moves & Relocations • • • • • •

No Move Too Small Free Estimates Insured & Bonded Guaranteed Pick-Up & Delivery Rates Quality Service & Sensible Rates Local & Interstate Moves

706-312-3000 1211 New Savannah Road • Augusta, GA 30901 www.fivestarmoving.com

John Dowdy • Jody Dowdy • David Williams

Mobile Veterinary Service

“Housecalls For Pets”

2

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

Vaccinations • Surgery • Dentistry • Senior Care Wellness & Preventative Care • Microchip Identification Home Delivery of Prescription Medications & Diets Heartworm Prevention • Flea & Tick Control Products

Debra J. Saul, D.V.M. 706-860-4884 Bringing 20 Years of Experience To Your Door

Grief Recovery Workshop March 7-28 (Sundays) 4:00-5:30 PM Adult Building, Room 100 RSVP 736-6708 Free childcare for children age 5 and under (must call in advance)

Call 731-5355

Grief is like a long valley, a winding valley where any bend may reveal a totally new landscape.

–C.S. Lewis

First Baptist Church • 3500 Walton Way • Augusta 733-2236 • www.fbcaugusta.org

But being prepared can give you a head start.

Heart disease is the leading killer of women. So being informed and knowing how to recognize the signs of a heart attack are important, but not enough. It’s also essential that you seek medical treatment within one hour of symptom onset. This is when drugs and other treatments will be most effective.

Women’s HeartAdvantage™ is a program offered by University Health Care System and their community partners. It was designed to help you learn more about the specific signs and symptoms women exhibit, and how important it is to act quickly if you experience them. This is especially important if you are among the 93 percent of women right here in the C.S.R.A. who have at least one risk factor for heart disease.

To learn more, talk to your physician or call 706/828-2828 and request a Women’s HeartAdvantage™ Information Kit.

This program is made possible in part by the generous support of:

(local) or 1/866/601-2828 (toll-free)

LISTEN TO YOUR HEART BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE.

“WORRY FREE SERVICE™” AND A “WORRY FREE GUARANTEE™” AIR CONDITIONING AND INDOOR AIR QUALITY SYSTEMS - SALES AND SERVICE

706-722-5304

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

#1 Residential Service Provider In Augusta

3

Holy Smokes!

I’m going to Fresh Thyme!

“Dare to Design with Good Company” GIFTS FOR THE HOME

Skillet Roasted Chicken with Creamy Leek Mashed Potatoes, Green Beans, and a Fresh Thyme Gravy - 13

D E C O R AT I V E

Sautéed Georgia Mountain Trout with Fresh Corn Pones, and a Smoked Shrimp Butter Sauce - 14

FURNISHINGS

ACCESSORIES AND ANTIQUES

AND DESIGN SERVICES (BY APPOINTMENT)

Spinach and Ricotta Gnocchi with Pomodoro Fresco, and Fresh Mozzarella - 14

B R I D A L R E G I S T RY

Smoked Scallops with a Lemon and Thyme Scented Risotto - 16

4

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

ELEMENT IS BIG ON FUNCTION.

437 Highland Ave, Surrey Center 706.737.6699 • Fax 706.733.8644 Mon-Sat Lunch & Dinner

Sautéed Veal Medallions with Black Pepper Spa¨etzle, Roast Garlic Buttered Brussels and a Spiced Apple Sauté - 18

T O N YA C A S O N B R I T TA N Y C A S O N , ASID (ALLIED) HOURS: M O N D AY - F R I D AY S A T U R D AY S U N D AY

RESIDENTIAL AND COMMERCIAL 3 1 2 7 - B WA S H I N G T O N R D .

706.364.4431

Road trips.

Mountain biking.

Surfing. Camping.

Extreme napping.

Whatever you’re into, the Element will get you there and back, and be your base camp in between.

2004 Honda Element

GERALD JONES HONDA 2003 Gordon Highway • 1-800-203-9371 • www.geraldjoneshonda.com

10AM-6PM 10AM-6PM (CLOSED)

METRO SPIRIT ON THE COVER 18 Charles Larke’s $310,000 Paycheck Cover Design: Erin Lummen

By Brian Neill

FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 3 • FREE WEEKLY • METROSPIRIT.COM

FEATURES 21 Grassroots Gas: The Push for Biodiesel OPINION 6 Whine Line 6 This Modern World 6 Words 6 Thumbs Up/Down 10 Letters 13 Insider

BITE 26 Breakfast at the Whistle Stop Café 27 In the Mix ARTS 28 Glass Sculptures at the Morris 29 Political Icon and Really Bad Kid Make Great Leading Ladies 30 Big Top Comes to Barton Field EVENTS 31 Calendar

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE Kriste Lindler

By Brian Neill

CINEMA 37 Flix 39 Meg Ryan Takes on Another Risky Role in “Ropes” 40 Broken Lizard Comedy Troupe at It Again in “Club Dread” 40 Reel Time

METRO BEAT 14 Tax Board Responds to Critical State Review 16 Lucy Laney Museum Wants $150,000

EDITOR & PUBLISHER David Vantrease ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Rhonda Jones STAFF WRITERS Stacey Eidson, Brian Neill ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Joe White

Contents

MUSIC 41 Country Outlaw Heads to Augusta 42 Gomes Experiments With Traditional Blues 43 The Fairfield Four Kicks Off Southern Soul and Song Gospel Series 44 Music by Turner 45 Sightings 46 Music Minis 46 CD Reviews 47 After Dark

37

STUFF 50 News of the Weird 51 Brezsny’s Free Will Astrology 51 New York Times Crossword Puzzle 52 Amy Alkon: Advice Goddess 53 Datemaker 55 Classifieds

PRODUCTION MANAGER Joe Smith GRAPHIC ARTISTS Natalie Holle, Erin Lummen, Rhonda Hall ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT ASSISTANT Lisa Jordan ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT INTERN Andy Stokes

ACCOUNTING MANANGER/CLASSIFIEDS Sharon King SENIOR MUSIC CONTRIBUTOR Ed Turner CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Amy Alkon, Rob Brezsny, Rachel Deahl, David Elliott, Amy Fennell Christian CARTOONISTS Tom Tomorrow

Metro Spirit is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks of the year. Editorial coverage includes arts, local issues, news, entertainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum.

The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publishers. Visit us at www.metrospirit.com. Copyright © Metro Spirit, Inc. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. Phone: (706) 738-1142 Fax: (706) 733-6663 E-mail: spirit@metrospirit.com Letters to the Editor: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, Ga. 30914-3809

DESSERTS

28

21

32 Delicious

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

#10 Ninth Street, Augusta • 722-7772

5

OPINION

I

’m an American all the way. I support fighting for freedom. But what is wrong with our government, allowing companies to send our jobs overseas for cheaper labor? Why not lower the cost of living right here and we can work for less and keep our factories open and keep our Americans employed. What are they thinking? Unemployment is on the rise from this; it’s one vicious circle.

Another thing — we should not have to pay taxes to support immigrants; we should all pay our fair share when we come to America. That’s what America is still all about. We work together, play together and fight together.

Senator Brush and Republican Party Chair Lee Muns should take the moral high ground and not seek re-election this year. Both have personal problems beyond repair and continue to embarrass the party. When Newt Gingrich finally figured out his embarrassing predicament, he resigned because he valued the party more than his personal political gain. Brush and Muns should follow Gingrich’s path to the door.

Well, here we go again. Get a loan on your refund that you are going to be receiving from the government, and pay interest on it so you can get it a little bit faster, so you can give it to the pay-day lender that takes you for even more interest. And most of it came from your net earned income that you didn’t pay out in the first place. So I guess everyone makes money off of the government. Masters ticket scabs — where are you? Is it still too early?

I believe we need to get together and find someone who can run the civic center. I can remember when it used to draw popular performers. MC Hammer, Bon Jovi and New Kids on the Block all appeared there at the zenith of their careers. Willie Nelson and the circus are not going to pay the bills. What has changed?

6

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

Question for our chairman of the

Whine Line Columbia County Commission: Why did you even consider using county tax money for the DMV office, a state entity? Opinion: the state should totally budget, fund and pay the entire bill for the DMV license operation and Columbia County tax money should be spent on county programs. To do otherwise is indicative of incompetence by the commissioners. If we have money to just throw around, then it’s time to cut property taxes.

Norwood told the Columbia County Republicans that “we need to get back to working together.” Does that mean that he is going to publicly admit that he ran off on one of the county’s best party chairs and then invited Alvin Starks back into the tent? I doubt that Norwood has the sense to admit the error of his ways, let alone correct them.

How do our representatives in Atlanta sleep at night? We’ve got our governor shutting down needed programs for the mentally disabled and the poor, while these administrators run to the bank cashing payroll checks in excess of $130,000 a year. I want my tax dollars going to the hands of those who need them, not the bureaucrats. Why should the bean counters make four times what nurses, therapists and social workers make? Our senators and representatives need to cap these salaries and give the money to the ones doing the work.

How does Charles Larke deserve a salary package of over $250,000?

That is nuts. Half the schools in the county are on the under performing list. We could have five more teachers for the excess we are paying this guy. $85,000 a year would be plenty.

Give him a bonus if he can actually produce some real improvement. I can’t believe the board could justify continued on page 8

Words

“I wish you’d tell your viewers that both Pat Robertson and Mel Gibson strike me as wackos.”

— “60 Minutes” commentator Andy Rooney, humorously channeling God during a recent episode of the news program. Rooney was making light of the furor surrounding Gibson’s film, “The Passion of the Christ,” as well as Robertson’s January claim that God told him President George W. Bush would win, hands-down, in the November election.

Thumbs Up

A Georgia legislator is seeking to stop frivolous lawsuits filed by obese people who blame fast-food restaurants (rather than their lack of willpower) for their ever-growing girth.

State Representative and Speaker Pro Tem DuBose Porter (D-Dublin) is sponsoring a bill that would prevent the filing of what have been dubbed

“McLawsuits” before they happen, according to The Atlanta JournalConstitution.

Although acknowledging some prodding from restaurant and beverage lobbyists, Porter said his Common Sense Consumption Act is about nothing more than that — common sense.

Thumbs Down Ralph Nader. ‘Nuff said.

When asked by reporters about protesters planning to attend the upcoming G-8 summit of world leaders at Georgia’s Sea Island, via a “flotilla,” Gov. Sonny Perdue said: “I wouldn’t

suggest that. I don’t know if it would be good for their health.” Of course, now the world’s eyes are waiting to see how peace can possibly come out of a G-8 summit held in a Confederate flag- loving state led by a hot-headed, cowboyhat wearing governor. Yee-haw.

Leading Heart Specialists Choose MCG Monday • 7:30pm Channel 4

MCG Health System Welcomes…

St. Patrick's Day F E S T I V I T I E S

with the Irish American Heritage Society PLUS A SPECIAL LIVE PERFORMANCE BY

Guy L. Reed, MD, PhD Chief, Section of Cardiology An established investigator at Harvard Medical School, Dr. Reed is an experienced researcher, aiming to develop better treatments for acute heart attacks and heart failure as well as new drugs to solve clots and heart artery blockages. He treats a wide range of heart disease.

Kevin P. Landolfo, MD, MSC Chief, Section of Cardiothoracic Surgery Dr. Landolfo specializes in all aspects of cardiac surgery, with particular interest in valve repair and bypass surgery without the use of the heart-lung machine. He is an experienced transplant surgeon and has pioneered the use of robotics in heart surgery. Dr. Landolfo comes to MCG from the Duke University Medical Center.

Carolyn K. Landolfo, MD Associate Professor of Medicine, Section of Cardiology

James D. St. Louis, MD Assistant Professor of Surgery, Section of Cardiothoracic Surgery

Dr. Landolfo specializes in adult echocardiography.

Her interests include valvular heart disease, heart disease in women and novel techniques to better image the heart. Dr. Landolfo previously served as the Director of Cardiac Ultrasound at Duke University Medical Center.

Dr. St. Louis specializes in cardiothoracic surgery as well as pediatric and neonatal cardiac surgery.

Dr. St. Louis comes to MCG from Brown University Medical School and Hasbro Children’s Hospital. His research interests include cardiopulmonary bypass in the neonate.

MCG is committed to being on the forefront of medical research and treatment in cardiac care while continuing to build a world class heart center. As the region’s only academic medical center, we attract top physicians and medical professionals from across the country and around the world. We are proud to introduce these newest additions to our medical staff.

For more information or to schedule an appointment, call 721-CARE (2273) or visit our website at MCGHealth.org.

The Irish-American Dancers BARGAIN SHOPPING WITH...

THE JUNIOR LEAGUE

Attic Sale

UPCOMING EVENTS WITH...

The Lucy C. Laney Museum of Art ...and much more!

Call in your questions & comments to 739-1822 or e-mail at connectlive@comcast.net Replays: Daily at 12 Noon, 3pm, and 10:30pm on

Channel 66

The physicians of MCG Health System are community physicians and faculty employees of the Medical College of Georgia and the Physicians Practice Group, not employees of MCG Health, Inc.

THANK YOU For Supporting Our Advertisers

677-A North Belair Road • Evans, GA 30809 706-860-0070 www.WellnessWtLoss.com Email: WellnessWtLoss@knology.net

706-860-0070

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

The Wellness and Weight Loss Center

The Wellness and Weight Loss Center

7

continued from page 6 that much for his performance. I guess it’s easy to spend other people’s money.

THANK YOU

For Supporting Our Advertisers

March at Doctors Hospital

“Survive” the changes...

Growing Into Adolescence*

Saturday, March 13, 9 am – 12 pm Presented by Michael Cieslak, MS, RN, BC. This class is for boys ages 9-12, along with their father, or a male relative. Boys will receive information on puberty and adolescence. Open discussions will be conducted. Please register by calling 651-2229.

You’re A Big Girl Now*

Community Ed Cradle Club

Wednesday, March 17, 5:30 – 6:30 pm Location: Doctors Hospital, First Floor, Classrooms 1 & 2.

This support group is open to patients who have had gastric bypass surgery or are thinking about it, and their families.

Call 651-6043 for more information.

Cradle Club

*These classes will be held at:

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

Doctors Hospital Campus, 3623 J. Dewey Gray Circle Medical Office Building I, Cradle Club Classroom, Suite 110.

Join our Cradle Club today!

Membership is FREE. Please PRE-REGISTER for ALL classes. Call 651-BABY (2229) or register online.

Prepared Childbirth Classes* 7 – 9:30 pm Mondays, March 15 – April 19 Tuesdays, March 30 – May 11 This course covers the signs, symptoms and stages of labor.

Labor & Delivery Tour

Thursday, March 4, 7 – 8:30 pm Tour begins at the hospital in Classrooms 1 & 2.

Infant CPR*

Cont.

Thursday, March 18, 6:30 – 9 pm Both foreign body airway obstruction and CPR are demonstrated and taught.

Saturday Express Prepared Childbirth Class*

Saturday, March 20, 9 am – 5 pm This class reviews the signs, symptoms and stages of labor.

Breastfeeding*

Thursday, March 25, 6:30 – 8:30 pm This class provides information about breast-feeding for expectant mothers and their partners. Milk production, positioning, latching on, breast care, diet, nutrition and other breastfeeding issues will be addressed.

Baby’s Brother & Sister*

Sunday, March 28, 2 – 3:30 pm Siblings' ages 3 through 8 visit the maternity unit and learn where Mom and the new baby will be during their hospital stay. They will learn how to care for their new brother or sister.

Aspects of sibling rivalry will also be addressed.

This is in response to Kevin Palmer’s letter to the editor about Father Allan J. McDonald’s letter to the editor.

Obviously, Mr. Palmer knows nothing about the Catholic church and if he would become interested about the Catholic church he would realize that we do not believe that all precious newborn babies are “depraved, spiritually dead sinners condemned to hell.” I think Mr. Palmer needs to become educated before he points fingers at anybody.

Anybody with one eye and half sense would realize that while the UN, France, Germany, Russia and everyone else were debating, and during the months it took to amass a force large enough for invasion, Saddam had plenty of time to move the WMDs to another country. The point is that people are no longer being tortured and butchered.

We owe our military much gratitude and support. I hope somebody sends a copy of this to John Kerry.

Karl Rove actually runs this country.

Dubya is too stupid to get in out of the rain.

AARP Driver Safety Program**

Education Program – “Colon Cancer”**

To the person who griped about the young lady buying the lobster tail and the shrimp with her food stamp card.

Senior Friends

Free Morning Fitness Class** Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, 8:45 – 9:30 am. Members only.

Orientation Coffee for New and Renewing Members**

Tuesday, March 9, 10 am Open to all interested in joining Senior Friends. Please RSVP at 651-6716.

Thursday & Friday, March 11 & 12, 12 pm Participants must pre-register by calling 651-6716. Open to the public 50+.

Friday, March 26, 11:30 am Presented by Dr. S. Lynn Mishra. Free lunch provided. Please RSVP to 651-2450

by March 22.

Located on the Doctors Hospital Campus, Building III, 1305 Interstate Parkway. **Items will be held in the Senior Friends Meeting Area. To join or register for classes please call 651-6716 or register online www.doctors-hospital.net .

Baby Care*

Sunday, March 28, 4 – 6:30 pm Topics include bathing, feeding, newborn characteristics, diapering, health and safety.

For more information, call 651-2450 or visit www.doctors-hospital.net • 3651 Wheeler Road • Augusta, GA

8

Since VP Cheney is no longer involved with Halliburton, why is everyone blaming everything on him? Give him a break. His name is not Martha Stewart, OK?

It has been alleged that Senator Brush had at least two adulterous affairs during the past decade with married women and, because he opposed some legislation, was being called a hypocrite by his peers. That being the case, maybe Brush should be required to wear a scarlet “A” while in public, rather than allowing him to continue to present a pompous facade as a “religious person.”

Brush needs to be gone now as he certainly lacks integrity and the high moral standards we expect of Republican politicians.

Saturday, March 27, 10 am – 12 pm This class is for girls ages 9-12, along with their mothers. Information will be shared on puberty and adolescence. Girls will discuss ways to successfully “survive” these natural changes. Please register by calling 651-2229.

Gastric Bypass Support Group

The Georgia senate needs to put Ed Tarver, Don Cheeks and Charles Walker in the same district. Then we’ll have the good, the bad and the ugly all together in the same district with an even split of the black and white communities of Augusta.

All Practice Rounds! and All Tournament Days!

Even the poor are allowed to celebrate Valentine’s Day. I am a delivery driver for a local food service. I make $5.50 an hour and I use my personal vehicle to bring people their food. To those people who do not tip or do not believe in tipping, I say shame on you. Also, don’t complain about your food being late if you don’t tip. If you are a known habitual nontipper, your food is not going to be on time. The people who tip every time get top priority. I make $12,000 a year, so give a brother a dollar or two.

What’s wrong with you?

In response to Robert Cooks saying Charles Walker was committed to the Laney-Walker neighborhood — then why did Walker move from there to the mansion he built on Monte Sano Avenue? If Walker loves the hood so well, why did he leave? Walker is too good for the hood now but needs the hood to help him get back in power.

Ask yourself this before casting your vote. Does Walker really represent me or does Walker represent Walker?

Why do some drivers insist on rolling all the way over the pedestrian crosswalk at the intersections downtown? Those two lines are there for people to walk in front of you, not behind you. See that big, thick white line before the crosswalk? That’s where you’re supposed to stop, people. Get a clue.

I’m glad people are starting to notice Diane Ford using her power in the Columbia County Commission to help her big business buddies. She doesn’t care about the average person, only about her rich friends and her buddies out at Clark Hill with their big houses and boats. Check into it.

Let’s see: If I’m a rich white woman living in Columbia County, I can steal a large amount of money and only get probation. If I were anyone else or in another county, I’d be sitting in jail for a long time. Our justice system just doesn’t seem to be just.

Call our Whine Line at 510-2051 and leave your comments. We won’t use your name. Fax your whines by dialing (706) 733-6663 or e-mail your whines to whine@metrospirit.com.

• Top Cash Paid • Safe Returns • Local Pickup • Confidential

WITH GREAT RESPONSIBILITY COMES GREAT POWER

1801 Gordon Highway 733-1035 www.geraldjonesvolvo.com

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

GERALD JONES VOLVO

9

OPINION

Letters

Re: “The Passion of The Christ”

D For information, call 706-729-6109

NOW OPEN

ear Editor:

Lisa Jordan’s article in the Feb. 19-25 Spirit on the controversy surrounding Mel Gibson’s “The Passion of the Christ” was interesting.

However, any decently well-read person knows there is no way a movie depicting the last hours of Christ could be antiSemitic. Jesus Christ was Jewish. He tried to reform certain things about Judaism he didn’t think were proper. A number of Jewish people took offense and influenced his death through the mechanism of Palestine’s Roman colonizers. Hence, the essence of the story behind Jesus Christ’s death is that of one group of Jews disagreeing with another and the conflict turning violent.

What’s true is Mel Gibson has stated in past interviews that he’s used his salary ($20-million per picture) from his last three movies to finance his telling of Christ’s death. Would any sane individual spend $30-60 million of their own money to make a film and not want to at

least make back the initial investment?

And what better way of ensuring this than to put sound-bytes out there like, “I know this movie will be taken as antiSemitic,” or, “No film studio will pick my movie up because it is too controversial.” Look how this hyperbole has worked: “Passion” will open on 2,000 screens in this country alone, one of the highest totals for an opening weekend in movie history. There are also the enormous numbers of advance-tickets being sold around the country in anticipation of the release. Millions of people are dying to see if this film really is anti-Semitic; some of whom, I would admit, want to bask as well in another tribute to their savior.

There is no anti-Semitism in the death of Christ. But there is deceit in the way this term has been used to make a certain Mad Max a lot of money.

Nathan Kirby

Takes Issue With Letter

10

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

D

ear Editor:

Mr. Palmer (letter to the editor, Feb. 12 issue) made several false statements in his letter. I would like to correct them.

First of all, aborted feti (unborn children) are not sinners. They are the victims of murder. The Catholic church considers these victims to be human beings at the moment of conception.

Kevin Palmer further states that the Catholic church teaches that “all precious newborn babies are depraved, spiritually dead sinners condemned to hell.” Nothing could be further from the truth! The Catholic church teaches that we are all born with “original sin.” This sin is removed and forgiven with baptism.

Unborn babies are the innocent victims of murder. Their fate is in the hands of God.

Yes, the Catholic Church does oppose use of artificial contraceptives, while Planned Parenthood teaches “natural methods of birth control” to married couples!

The remaining portion of his letter goes on to blame “religious thinking” for the countless atrocities that women have ever been subjected to. His anti-religion thinking has blinded him to The 10 Commandments. Practicing Catholics are obliged to adhere to these commandments. The statements made in the remainder of his letter would fracture every commandment!

Thank you for allowing me to correct these errors.

Wayne L. Perrotto Harlem

TA X P R E PA R AT I O N

New Hope Worship Center Presents The Hemphills March 7, 2004 6:30 pm

Business & Personal

Same Face, Same Place

Suite 404 Wheeler Executive Center 3540 Wheeler Rd Augusta, GA

Karen D. Stinson Enrolled Agent

Call 733-4900 to schedule an appointment.

I-20 at Belair Road (Exit 194) • 706-868-6410 • www.nhwc.org

TICKETS WANTED

You are invited to

MR. EDWARDS University Hospital Heart disease is the number one killer of American women, claiming more than 500,000 lives each year. As women, we need to retool our lives, and a Women’s HeartAdvantage™ Health Fair is the perfect place to begin. We’ll provide the education, encouragement and support to empower you to embark on a healthier lifestyle – and all of it is absolutely free. We hope you’ll put your heart into it.

We have.

(706) 651-8354

Women’s HeartAdvantage™ Health Fair

HEALTH FAIR ACTIVITIES INCLUDE: • Health risk assessments • Heart-healthy screenings • Information and coaching • Special gifts and door prizes 11 a.m. until 3 p.m.

Saturday, Feb. 28 Dillard’s, National Hills

If You Miss the Shop on Monte Sano

FREE Trapp Candle w/$10 Purchase Visit

Shoppes of Kings Way 2107 Kings Way 481-0402

priceless For more information, call 706/828-2828, call toll free at 1/866/601-2828 or log on to universityhealth.org.

$5,000

Supported through an educational grant from

For more information call 733-0130 1-866-517-7513

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

Take care. Take charge. Take heart.

Become an anonymous egg donor!

Ovations is seeking healthy, educated women between the ages of 18-31, living in or going to college in the Aiken-Augusta area. Suitable donors will be compensated in the sum of

11

12

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

Ann Augustaa Original

F R E E M O N T H LY

OPINION

Insider

Note to Joey Brush: The Truth Will Set You Free

S

including former Georgia Attorney General Mike Bowers, former U.S. Speaker Newt Gingrich and former U.S. Rep. Bob Barr — who publicly preached about sexual morality until they faced marriage issues of their own.” They no longer hold office.

Republican Party leaders have been concerned about the Brush rumors for a long time, fearing that one day the issue would result in embarrassment for Republicans.

Well, that day is here.

Since publication of the article and consistent attention to the matter on the Austin Rhodes radio program, Republican phone lines have been buzzing in Richmond and Columbia County. There is a renewed effort to encourage former Columbia County Commissioner Jim Whitehead to run against Brush. Whether this episode will push Whitehead or another credible Republican to challenge Brush remains to be seen. Whitehead is currently serving as chairman of Columbia County Sheriff Clay Whittle’s election campaign, but his co-chairs, former commissioners Pete Brodie and Pat Farr, could easily step in and manage the campaign without him.

Regardless, Brush is damaged goods.

Republicans should take heed, sooner rather than later.

Jerry Saul Will Run Richmond County Tax Commissioner Jerry Saul will seek office again this year. There had been speculation that Saul would retire after 28 years on the job.

Not so. Saul thinks he has a few good years on the job left in him, his office runs relatively smoothly compared to other Jerry Saul departments and he has the support of most commissioners. His announcement should keep others out of the race. His term of office is four years. The entry level salary is $81,000. Saul earns $100,000 due to his longevity on the job.

The views expressed in this column are the views of The Insider and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

Spring Concert At The Common FRIDAY, MARCH 5 7PM - 9PM CALL

821-1754 FOR INFORMATION

New Shipment from France

Louise Mulherin Classic Garden and

Antiques

Shopping Hours: Tues-Fri 11-6 Sat 11-5

13

National Hills Shopping Center 2701 Washington Road 706.738.8111

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

tate Sen. Joey Brush made the news recently when a very unflattering article, written by Kevin Griffis, appeared in Atlanta’s venerable alternative news weekly, Creative Loafing. The headline read “In Defense of Hypocrisy: State Senator preaches ‘sanctity of marriage,’ is accused of adultery.” The article went on to say Brush is “alleged to have had extramarital affairs during the last decade with two women — one of whom, under oath in a 1997 Columbia Joey Brush County divorce case, identified Brush as a sexual partner.”

The article centers around the debate in the state senate concerning a proposed constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. Democrats in the senate have warned that those doing the preaching and moralizing about the sanctity of marriage should make sure they have taken their marriage vows seriously and their sex lives are up to the moral code they espouse. The article interestingly noted that “Brush had voted against two amendments that would have added a ban on adultery to the resolution.”

Behind the scenes, people have gossiped about Brush’s lifestyle for years. Now that the allegations have appeared in the press and are part of the public record, Brush must take them seriously. So should his fellow Republicans. Brush has consistently denied the allegations over the years, but many of his friends and fellow Republicans don’t really believe him. After all, one of his accusers named him while testifying under oath.

It’s time for Joey Brush to come clean.

If the allegations are untrue, then he should go public and make his case. He should tell those who doubt the sincerity of his denials why he didn’t defend himself after the allegations in the aforementioned divorce case. Instead, it appears that Brush is in denial, hoping the issue will go away. It won’t.

Brush’s credibility is at stake. If the accusations are false, he should fight.

Otherwise, his reputation will be stained and the issue will continue to plague him and his fellow Republicans. It is election year. As the Creative Loafing article stated: “Brush joins a long list of politicians —

ENJOY A MUSICAL EVENING UNDER THE STARS...

METRO BEAT

Board of Assessors

Tax Board Responds to Critical State Review

T

14

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

he shortfall in the 2003 tax digest and the resulting net loss of approximately $1.5 million in anticipated revenue to the city put Richmond County Chief Appraiser Sonny Reece and his department in the hot seat last year.

Following this stunning revelation, the Georgia Department of Revenue issued a performance review of Reece and the Richmond County Board of Tax Assessors in December.

The state’s review board found that, while many professionals throughout Augusta praise Reece and his department for improvements in service, there were still some significant problems facing the tax office.

Many of the review board’s concerns related to the lack of city funding for the department, which forced the tax appraiser to continue to operate with an understaffed department working in a limited office space that is equipped with an inadequate computer system.

But not all of the state’s findings revealed money problems. Several comments within the report dealt with what the review board considered to be the personnel clashes within the tax assessors’ office.

“The (state review board) observed there is a general discontent among several members of the appraisal staff with the management of the office,” the Dec. 8 report states. “In the view of the (review board), much of this discontent can be attributed to the employee’s perception that the chief appraiser had a somewhat intolerant management style, was not open to employee suggestions and was too autocratic.”

The review board also stated the board of assessors was providing Reece “limited oversight” of the department’s policies.

“Generally, the (review board) believes the (board of assessors) should investigate the chief appraiser’s current top-down management style and give consideration to implementing a team approach,” the report states. “We saw evidence that the (board of assessors) was aware of this discontent but had dismissed it as not being a significant problem.”

On Feb. 23, it was the board of assessors’ turn to respond to the state’s allegations in a joint meeting of the Augusta Commission and members of the Richmond County Board of Education.

Charles Smith, chairman of the board of

assessors, told the commission that his board agreed with many of the financial, staffing and space constraints facing the tax office; however, he did not believe that the board was ignoring any personnel problems within the department.

“When a management style has a negative effect on the overall morale of a department and therefore the production, then we need to address those issues and we have,” Smith said, explaining that in November 2001, the board hired an outside consultant

By Stacey Eidson

tense, not something that needed to be addressed a few years ago.”

Smith explained that the board is continuing to work on the morale issues in the office by forming a personnel panel to investigate employees’ complaints.

Tracy Williams, a member of the board of tax assessors, said he reviewed a number complaints by the department’s employees, but found many of them lacked merit.

“Anytime a person comes in and tightens up things, sure you’re going to get a lot of

Sonny Reece

“The assessors’ office has historically been a red-headed stepchild.”

— Richmond County Chief Appraiser Sonny Reece

to conduct a two-day seminar on improving office relations.

“But I think it is very awkward and perhaps very dangerous to assume that every time a person complains, their complaint has validity,” Smith added. “What we do is investigate to see the validity of the complaint. Because there will always be somebody who complains.”

However, Augusta Mayor Bob Young pointed out that the state’s report of the tax appraiser’s office indicated there was more than just one person complaining about Reece’s management style.

“This is not the complaint of one person.

This says, ‘There is general discontent among several members of the appraiser’s office,’” Young said, reading from the report. “So, it seems to me that there are some matters in there dealing in the present

complaints,” Williams said of Reece. “But most of the complaints that have come to me this year are petty. But we want to address them, so we tell them to put them into writing.”

Williams said many of the problems relate to frustration within the department because of significant employee turnover.

“We lose some of our best workers,” Williams said. “We had some guys down there with master’s degrees. One was making $20,000; the other was making about $32,000. They left.”

Bert Thomas, a member of the board of assessors since 1974, said another lingering problem is how the city has always treated the tax appraiser’s office.

“I can remember going to board meetings and sitting on seats that tore my pants because the city wouldn’t give us funding

because many commissioners did not like what was going on,” Thomas said.

Currently, the tax appraiser’s office receives less than $1.75 million a year to operate the department.

It wasn’t until almost three years ago when City Administrator George Kolb was hired that the department started to get upgraded, Thomas said.

“I’ve always said that this department is supposed to be No. 1 because this is where the rubber hits the road, but it hasn’t always been this way as far as the county commissioners are concerned,” Thomas said. “I think this is a wake-up call for the county commission.”

Reece, who let the board address the majority of the concerns listed in the state’s report, said that his department needs approximately 16 more inspectors in order to adequately review the more than 65,400 residential parcels and 12,800 non-residential parcels within Richmond County.

He also agreed with the board that his department has been neglected for too long.

“The assessors’ office has historically been a red-headed stepchild,” Reece said. “When other departments were getting new furniture and new work stations, our office got hand-me-downs from other departments.”

“And we have the best IT department probably in the country ... but we are stuck with a system they don’t operate with. Under our system, we are at the mercy of the state of Georgia and our IT people can’t get in and make things work right.”

This computer problem, Reece said, was the major cause for the shortfall in the 2003 tax digest.

Augusta Commissioner Betty Beard acknowledged that she had no idea that the tax office was so underfunded.

“I think we need to look at some real restructuring here,” Beard said. “What I would like is for the board of assessors to go back to the drawing board and if it’s space, if it’s staff, whatever it is, let us know.”

Smith said he was pleased to hear the commission was open to pumping more money into the tax appraiser’s office.

“Once you’ve been told over a number years, ‘There isn’t any money to do any of these things,’ after a while you cease to make the effort to do it,” Smith said. “I’m glad to know now that there is an openness to receive the kind of recommendations that we know need to be made.”

City living at its best.

Enterprise Mill’s lofts feature soaring ceilings, fantastic views, and the most unique living experience Augusta has to offer. We have many floor plans and a host of amenities to enhance your life.

1450 Greene Street | Augusta, Ga 30901 | 706.262.4001 | www.enterprisemill.com Within walking distance of MCG and the medical complex

ENTERPRISE MILL founded 1848

Powerful. Nimble. Reserved.

GERALD JONES HONDA

15

2003 Gordon Highway 1-800-203-9371 www.geraldjoneshonda.com

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

Introducing the redesigned HONDA ACCORD available at

METRO BEAT

Commission

Lucy Laney Museum Wants $150,000

E

16

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

very year, the Augusta Commission is faced with the challenge of trying to find money to help support the city’s two major museums.

In this year’s city budget, the Augusta Museum of History received $275,000, while the Lucy Craft Laney Museum got the shaft.

Christine Miller-Betts, the executive director of the Lucy Craft Laney Museum, told the Augusta Commission’s finance committee on Feb. 23 that funding for her organization was drastically cut from $200,000 in 2003 to $50,000 this year.

Without that additional $150,000, MillerBetts said that the Lucy Craft Laney Museum would have no choice but to lay off a number of employees and reduce the quality of its community programs by the end of the museum’s fiscal year in July.

“The Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History is an integral part of the Augusta community,” Miller-Betts told commissioners. “Last year, we were fortunate enough to get $200,000 and if we do not get that amount of money for this year, we will have to get rid of some staff, which we really do not want to do.”

These employees are helping the museum grow, Miller-Betts said, explaining that she recently hired an individual dedicated to expanding research at the museum.

“He’s the person who’s going to make sure that our legacy and our history are maintained,” Miller-Betts said. “So, I would really like to have him on board in July, but we have to have your help. We really need to get this money.”

Augusta Commissioner Betty Beard told the committee that the Lucy Craft Laney Museum plays a vital role in the Augusta area and deserves the city’s support.

“It’s the one thing that we have in our community that’s really making a difference,” Beard said. “When I have visitors coming to this community, I always bring them to the Lucy Craft Laney Museum because there is no other place like it.

And if I need information about any of our citizens, that’s where I go.”

When the Lucy Craft Laney Museum first began in 1991, Beard said the museum received little funding and had a staff that consisted of mainly volunteers from the community.

“In fact, I believe when I first went to the museum, she (Miller-Betts) was not being paid at all,” Beard said. “So, I personally think it’s very important that they

get this funding and I make a motion that they receive the $150,000.”

Augusta Commissioner Marion Williams said he was shocked to hear that the Lucy Craft Laney Museum was given only $50,000 this year.

By Stacey Eidson

the rest of the money.

“It will hurt us a little, but we can make it,” Miller-Betts said. “But if we don’t get the money, we just won’t be able to operate at a quality level.”

Boyles said it would be difficult to

Marion Williams

“We’ve got to be very mindful that we have two museums in this town.”

— Augusta Commissioner Marion Williams

“The Augusta Museum of History got $275,000 and I was under the impression that we gave the Lucy Laney Museum $150,000 this year instead of just $50,000,” Williams said. “We’ve got to be very mindful that we have two museums in this town.”

In order for the museum to receive its requested funding, City Administrator George Kolb said the money would have to come out of the city’s contingency account.

Currently, the commission has approximately $580,000 in contingency for the remainder of the year.

While the Augusta Commission’s finance chairman, Tommy Boyles, said he sympathized with the museum’s dilemma, he asked Miller-Betts whether her organization would wait until the commission had its mid-year budget review in July to see if the city could afford her $150,000 request.

Miller-Betts said the museum could survive until then on the $50,000 the city has already given it, but only if the organization was guaranteed to receive

guarantee anything before reviewing the city’s financial numbers in July.

“Is there some money somewhere else where we could basically rob Peter to pay Paul?” Boyles asked Kolb.

The administrator pointed to a list of agencies that also receive funding from the city including the Augusta Museum of History, Project Access — a program helping fund local indigent health services — and the library.

Boyles recalled that the commission agreed to provide the library an additional $150,000 for new books.

“I was just going to suggest that maybe we pull that book money and move it over to the museum,” Boyles said.

In the 2004 budget, the commission gave the library $1.9 million, which is the exact level of funding it received in 2003.

Several commissioners groaned at Boyles’ suggestion.

“We are in the bottom 10 percent of per capita contributions to public libraries in the state of Georgia,” Augusta Commissioner Andy Cheek

said, raising his voice. “Our shelves are lined with out-of-date books at every dadgum branch. We are underfunded. We are behind the times. And this is an area that we’ve neglected for the last 25 to 30 years.

“I support what we are trying to do here, but we need to get our hand out of the library’s pocket.”

Augusta Commissioner Don Grantham agreed that Boyles was looking for cuts in the wrong department.

“If you reduce $150,000 from the library, all you are doing is delaying the inevitable because you are going to get into contingency sooner or later,” Grantham said. “And I think you are just fooling yourself if you think that you are going to make the library people happy by taking $150,000. They are going to be in here next week wanting to know why you took it out.”

Boyles defended himself by stating he was simply looking for answers to the budget problem at hand.

“You’ve got to remember, I was the commissioner that led the fight for the library,” Boyles said. “It was never my intention to cut the library. I’m just trying to find some funding.”

Grantham said if the commissioners were serious about funding the museum, they needed to bite the bullet and get the money from contingency.

“If you are going to get into contingency, let’s do it now,” Grantham said.

“And when we run out of contingency money, we are out. There is nowhere else to go.”

Several commissioners supported providing the Lucy Craft Laney Museum funding, but they weren’t comfortable with $150,000.

“I just think we are going to have a fight on the floor,” Grantham said, referring to the commission’s regular meeting on March 2.

Williams agreed that $150,000 might be a tough sell.

“Rather than lose it all I would rather see them get $100,000 than to get to fighting on the floor and get it turned down completely,” Williams said.

Beard tried to compromise by offering a motion to give the museum $125,000.

“I’ll go with that,” Williams said, laughing as the committee unanimously approved Beard’s motion. “We’ll just fight it on the floor.”

AN INVESTMENT PLAN AS UNIQUE AS YOUR NEEDS.

!

Stocks

!

Tax-Free Bonds

!

Mutual Funds

!

IRA’s and Pension Plans

!

Government Securities

!

Annuities

!

Corporate Bonds

!

Money Management

FOR MORE INFORMATION, CONTACT: Sandra P. Gurley Financial Consultant Smith Barney 10th Street, Suite 600 Augusta, Georgia 30901 (706) 724-2601 • (800) 241-2401 sandra.p.gurley@smithbarney.com

©2003 Citigroup Global Markets, Inc. Member SIPC. Smith Barney is a division and service mark of Citigroup Global Markets Inc. and its affiliates and is used and registered throughout the world. CITIGROUP and the Umbrella Device are trademarks and service marks of Citicorp of its affiliates and are used and registered throughout the world.

Eat Food, Make Love!

Sweethearts Dinner for Two

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

Includes appetizer, two full entrees, cocktails or desserts.

EatDrinkBeHappy.com

$26.95

816 COTTON LANE AT RIVERWALK, DOWNTOWN | 706.724.4511

17

Larke’s $310,000 Paycheck

By Brian Neill

R

18

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

ichmond County Schools Superintendent Charles Larke made more money last year than the salary of his statewide counterpart, or even the governor, for that matter.

Larke was compensated a total of $310,904, which included his base salary of $168,716, benefits and retirement allocations amounting to $37,608 and carried-over vacation pay in the amount of $94,558.

The superintendent also was reimbursed $8,883 in travel expenses, according to information from the school district’s bookkeeping department.

By comparison, State Schools Superintendent Kathy Cox earns a salary of $112,776, her office confirmed. Georgia Gov. Sonny Perdue, according to his staff, makes $127,303, excluding extras such as living in the Governor’s Mansion.

Larke’s compensation for the 2002-2003 fiscal year created a stir after people saw it posted on the Web site of the Georgia Department of Audits and Accounts.

Richmond County school board member Kenneth Echols said two teachers had found the information on the Internet and “stirred that up.”

Echols, too, found the information surprising at first glance.

“I looked on the Web site, myself, when I first heard it and flipped out,” Echols said.

Echols said the compensation figure made more sense after he sought an explanation from the school board’s attorney, Pete Fletcher.

After buzz about the Web posting circulated, school district officials released a break-down of Larke’s recent compensation, which added up to the $310,000 figure.

“His salary is in the mid-range of most other counties,” Echols said. “A lot of the superintendents get, maybe, $50,000 to $100,000 bonuses, get cars, a lot of different things. He has chosen to get annuities, which is nothing compared to what others get, but I guess when you lump it all together towards his retirement, I guess it comes up to that amount.

“It’s not like he gets paid $310,000 each year.”

However, even after hearing the explanation of Larke’s compensation, school board member Barbara Padgett had a hard time swallowing it, saying she was “very surprised” to learn the superintendent was paid that much.

“I did not know that his total package was $310,000, I can tell you that,” Padgett said.

“And I’d rather not comment on whether he was worth it or not.”

Padgett said she didn’t recall any discussion about the $94,000 pay-out for Larke’s accrued vacation time, which amounted to 58.5 days in 2002 and 56 days in 2003, according to school district information.

“The carryover vacation package, no that does not ring a bell,” Padgett said. “Ninetyfour thousand dollars for a vacation package?

File Photo

“Let me respond to you about the fancy cars: I think if you work hard and you’re successful, then you’re going to enjoy certain things. If you make excuses and you’re lazy, then you’re not going to have anything ... It’s shameful when people make those kinds of statements.

And they call and won’t leave their name.”

— Richmond County Schools Superintendent Charles Larke No, $94,000 I would remember.”

Padgett declined to comment further on Larke’s performance, saying that she considered it to be a personnel matter.

Larke, who has been superintendent for eight and a half years and been employed by the school district for 34 years, said he requested the vacation time pay-out to offset his entering a higher tax bracket.

“My son wasn’t living with me, which meant I was taxed as head of the household,”

Larke said. “And my son is 20 years old and my new contract was due to expire in 2006, so I asked them in 2002 if I could collect my paid vacation before retirement, because if I was to work to 2006, 2007, I would be filing single-taxpayer, which you know is the highest bracket of all.”

Larke said he was eligible to retire with 30 years of service in January of 2000, but chose to stay on to fulfill his vision of improving the condition of the county’s

schools and facilities and raising the county’s SAT score average to 1,000.

“I was told that our SAT scores would never reach a thousand because we had too many poor, minority children in our system,” Larke said. “We’re on the verge of getting to a thousand.”

Larke said if he retired this July, he’d actually be making about $20,000 more than his current salary, less benefits.

“Why would I come down here for

said. “On Thursday, I went up to Gordon Lakes at 2:30 to the driving range. I’m at Gordon Lakes; I’m on vacation, but my next stop was at Freedom Park Elementary School, because she (the principal) had a problem with a child and some parents and a field trip.

On Friday, I’m off the entire day, to play golf as a guest at the Augusta National. I’m going to be there at 10 a.m., but at 8:15 a.m., I’m in this office interviewing two candidates for principalships.”

Larke said he had not taken a sick day since the 1974-75 school year and had only taken three personal days, all of them in 1987, in order to complete work on his doctorate.

Despite such a record, however, Larke’s compensation has been a sticking point for some board members in the past.

One of those was former school board President Mary Oglesby, who left the board in 2000 to pursue state office.

“Many times, the reason they (board members) voted not to pass the budget was because they did not agree with his benefits package,” said Oglesby, counting herself as one of those members. “Even though they didn’t say so openly, that’s what was being done.”

Larke said the compensation total on the Department of Audits and Accounts Web site even took him by surprise.

“I had no idea that the Department of Audits in Atlanta would take vacation pay and count it as salary,” Larke said. “I was looking for mine to be $168,000 on that audit, not $310,000. Next year it’s going to look like I was demoted, because next year it’s going to show something like $205,000, with benefits.”

Larke also circulated a letter to board members citing information from the Georgia School Superintendents Association that placed his base salary of $168,716 well below the $180,600 average for “large urban school districts.”

Those districts, according to an attached memo, included Atlanta City and Bibb, Chatham, Clayton, Dekalb and Richmond counties.

In addition, Larke had his staff compile a list of central office administrators and high school principals who had retired since 1991 and been paid for unused vacation upon retirement.

The amounts for unused vacation paid to the list of 27 former employees ranged from a high of $41,274 for 138.5 hours in the case of William Mitchell, who retired as assistant superintendent in 1991, to a low of $2,428 for Pat Blanchard, who retired as assistant director of personnel in 2002 with 7.75 accumulated vacation hours.

Ronnie Watson, director of the Education Audit Division with the Department of Audits and Accounts, confirmed that Larke’s compensation represented the highest in the state for that position.

However, Watson said, the compensation information posted on the Web site is provided to the Department of Audits and Accounts by the school districts themselves, prior to actual audits being performed.

“I’m not going to say it (Larke’s compensation) was the highest paid,” Watson said, “but it was the highest reported by this method.”

The Formosan termite The most destructive structural pest in the U.S. is on its way to Augusta!

BE PREPARED WITH SENTRICON! If you are the first homeowner to report an infestation of

FORMOSAN TERMITES,

Advanced Services will REPAIR your home for FREE (up to $2,000) and treat your home FREE for one year.

Termite Swarms? Call us 24/7.

We’re here to help.

Augusta • 737-4120 North Augusta • 278-4338 Aiken • 641-0144 Bugstopper.com

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004 19

$20,000? Well, it’s not about the money,” Larke said. “It’s simply a matter of trying to finish a program I started.”

Larke also said the board was fully aware of the vacation pay request.

“Let me say this right here: We discussed being paid for the vacation days,” Larke said.

“I didn’t know what the dollar amount was, myself. We never discussed $94,000. We discussed being paid for the cumulative vacation days. And that was with all 10 board members, I can tell you that right now. And I’ve got a memo going to them with that statement in there. They all agreed to it.”

School Board member Marion Barnes said he remembered discussing the issue and didn’t have a problem with it.

“We’ve had other folks that got money.

They got theirs at the end; he’s getting his before the end,” Barnes said. “He got his for tax purposes, because of his child and stuff.”

“No, I don’t have any problem with it,” Barnes added. “What you have to look at is the amount of time he had in there. We were paying for that time.”

Barnes acknowledged that he had never seen an instance when a superintendent was compensated as Larke was, prior to retirement.

“To be honest with you, no,” Barnes said.

“But it was legal, because we checked with the attorney before we did it.”

Larke said he wasn’t surprised that the issue of his compensation garnered so much attention, saying that friends are hard to make in his role.

“When you are in a role where you hire and you fire and you promote, you’re going to have more than your share of critics,” Larke said. “When you suspend somebody for five days, there’s nothing you can do that they’re going to be satisfied with. They’ll be a critic for life, probably.”

Larke said he was also familiar with the way he’s characterized by often anonymous critics as a driver of fancy cars who’s seldom seen visiting the county’s 58 schools.

“Let me respond to you about the fancy cars: I think if you work hard and you’re successful, then you’re going to enjoy certain things,” Larke said. “If you make excuses and you’re lazy, then you’re not going to have anything.

“In 1969, my dad got me a Cobra Jet Mustang. I still own that Mustang. It’s a classic. It has a nice value to it. In ‘77, I bought my first Corvette. I was a classroom teacher. But guess what? I was moonlighting at night, working in department stores like J.M. Fields and Sears Merchandise. I had a brokers contract with Metropolitan Life Insurance Company. I sold life insurance from ‘74 to ‘95. Made a pretty good living in it. I’ve owned a Mercedes Benz since ‘88; I bought an ‘88 Roadster, 15 years ago. I bought it as a reward to me for my doctorate and my 40th birthday and I still own it.”

Larke said he also has a 2003 Cadillac Escalade.

“It’s shameful when people make those kinds of statements,” Larke said. “And they call and won’t leave their name.”

The 55-year-old, who says he runs four or five miles every other day and plans to continue working until 2007 or 2010, also defended his involvement in local schools.

“I had a half a vacation (day) on Thursday; I had a full day of vacation on Friday,” Larke

Your Neighborhood Deli Atlanta Loves Us… Augusta Will Too!

Surrey Center Lower Level

OPENING MARCH 1st M-F 10 am - 8 pm Sat. 11 am - 8 pm

706-736-1960

! HeartWise™ Menu Items

! Expert Income Tax Preparation Federal and All States • Individuals, Businesses and Corporations Reasonable Rates

! Free Electronic Filing Free Electronic Filing when we prepare your Federal, Georgia and South Carolina returns

Written by

Ray Cooney

Directed by

Phil Porter

Sponsored by

The Wilcox Inn

! Refund Loans W-2/1099 Preparation

! Business Services Full Service Bookkeeping • Payroll and Quarterly Reports Consulting for new business start ups • Incorporation Service Computer & Account Software • Certified Quick Books Consultant

20

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

Performances

Feb. 20th, 21st, 27th, 28th, Mar. 5th & 6th at 8:00 p.m.

Matinee Sunday

February 29th at 3:00 p.m.

Reservations

Call (803) 648-1438

Email: info@aikencommunityplayhouse.com

Washington Center for the Performing Arts

124 Newberry St. Aiken, SC 29801

LA PETITE PLAZA • 3850 WASHINGTON ROAD, MARTINEZ (BETWEEN BOJANGLES AND THE FIRE STATION)

860-5498

Grassroots Gas: The Push for Biodiesel

By Brian Neill

D

Photo Credit: Brian Neill

“A lot of people are basically whoring this product. They’re marking it up and claiming it’s just the greatest thing since gravy ... We want to give the consumer the option to choose between alternative fuel or conventional fuel. And so we have purposely kept our (profit) margin at almost nothing.”

— Red Roberts, owner of United Energy Distributors in Aiken, shown holding a bottle of pure biodiesel.

21

the past Super Bowl all smack of conservatism.

He is, however, at the forefront of the push for alternative fuels, his United Energy Distributors fueling facility off Toolebeck Road in Aiken having done $80 million in sales last year.

The facility, which according to various independent sources was the first public fueling station of its kind in the entire nation, pumps E85 ethanol fuel, propane for natural gas-fueled vehicles and B20, a biodiesel fuel that is 20-percent soybean oil and 80-percent petroleum diesel.

Some of Roberts’ biggest customers are fleets from state and federal agencies like the South Carolina Department of Transportation and the Savannah River Site.

The 20-percent soybean oil ratio in Roberts’ biodiesel may not sound like much, but industry experts maintain that such a mixture can reduce by as much as 80 percent the particulate matter coming from a vehicle’s exhaust.

Also, the U.S. Department of Energy, in touting biodiesel’s merits as a “domestically produced renewable fuel,” maintains that a B20 blend reduces cancer-causing particulates from diesel exhaust fumes by 27 percent. In the case of a vehicle that burns pure biodiesel, known as B100, which Roberts also sells, that reduction is 94 percent, according to the DOE. Roberts sees even more advantages to the fuel.

If pure biodiesel spills on the ground, so what? It’s biodegradable.

“That’s the beauty of it,” Roberts said. “If this stuff spills on the grass, it’ll kill the grass but it won’t sterilize the soil.”

The up-and-down nature of the fuel market would also be made to heel if this constantly renewable fuel source assumed a formidable presence on the open market, Roberts thinks.

“Like, diesel fuel went up five and a half cents yesterday, for no apparent reason,” the 47-year-old Aiken native said. “So when I see things like that, there’s got to be some stability.”

And that stability could also apply to America, itself, in terms of avoiding international conflicts, Roberts thinks.

“Well, the war in the Middle East is about oil, don’t let anybody fool you,” said Roberts, adding that he likes President George W. Bush, but is starting to agree with some criticisms of the war in Iraq. “If they didn’t have oil over there, we wouldn’t be over there.” continued on page 22

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

riving south on U.S. Highway 78, just on the outskirts of the Aiken city limits, Red Roberts glances over at a few cotton fields now dormant after the fall harvest and looking bleak in the dreary morning’s drizzle.

“We’ve just got to do something about the farm economy in this country,” he says. “How many new farms do you see being built? Do you know any guys that just say, ‘Hey, I’m going to be a farmer; I’m going to go out and buy a thousand acres of land and just start farming?’ It’s not happening. The family farm is just becoming strip malls and housing developments and things like that.”

Roberts continues to talk about purely utopian things like returning to our agrarian roots, building new infrastructure in America and freeing the country from the junkie’s needle of foreign oil.

Several minutes later, we roll up on his plan for making all of that happen.

Four immense holding tanks, their white exteriors faded and rusted, poke out of the soil of an otherwise barren landscape like a skeleton of industry that once was.

They used to hold slurry for the Huber clay company.

Now, Roberts has other purposes in mind for these 85,000-gallon tanks, which he purchased, along with 30 acres of surrounding land and 880 feet of railroad siding.

It is here that Roberts plans to build a refinery that would convert used cooking grease and pure soybean oil into fuel — a fuel known as biodiesel.

One may think of biodiesel as a hippie concoction. The stuff of underground catalogs. Fuel for flower-painted Volkswagen buses.

Various stories have surfaced in recent years of so-called “green-minded” individuals tooling around towns in diesel cars fueled with the grease-trap discards of places like McDonald’s and local diners.

Last year, Jane’s Addiction’s Perry Ferrell spoke with pride about how Lollapalooza, the traveling rock festival he co-founded, would be using pure biodiesel to fuel its generators in an environmentally friendly gesture — and to spare concert-goers from gagging on diesel fumes.

But Roberts doesn’t look the type to be found in an outdoor concert mosh pit or a hackeysack circle; his closely cropped red hair, golf shirt and souvenir windbreaker from

The Church of the Most Holy Trinity will host a panel discussion on the following topics related the Mel Gibson’s religious masterpiece: • How all of sinful humanity, past, present and future, is responsible for the passion of Jesus Christ • How Jesus embraces His passion as God’s heroic act of love for all of sinful humanity • The meritorious effects of Jesus’ passion for all of humanity • The sacramentality and Catholicity of Mel Gibson’s “The Passion of Christ” • The Catholic Mass as an “unbloody renewal” of the actual Passion of Christ (Gibson has said his film “is a Mass”) • How a person comes into “full-communion” with Christ’s “one, holy, Catholic and apostolic Church” • How participating in “The Holy Sacrifice of the Catholic Mass” is a participation in the one Passion of Christ • Tour Georgia’s oldest Catholic Church with the Passion of the Christ integral to its ornate beauty

The public is invited!

(Non-Catholics and non-practicing Catholics are especially invited)

22

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

Father Allan J. McDonald, pastor, will moderate the discussion.

Father Daniel and Mrs. Jan Munn; Deacon Kent and Mrs. Diana Plowman; Mr. Wesley & Mrs. Lauren Lott will be co-panelists.

Catholic Church of the Most Holy Trinity (In our historic church building) Corner of Telfair and 8th Streets Downtown, Augusta 7:00 PM, Thursday, March 4, 2004 in the year of our Lord 722-4944

Photo Credit: Brian Neill

One of four buses that Aiken County Transit fuels with biodiesel.??? continued from page 21 Roberts said he believes local and regional farmers also would benefit from growing soybeans for biodiesel and emphasizes that none of his soybean oil is purchased abroad.

In addition to other vendors throughout the Southeast, Roberts currently purchases much of his soybean oil from Carolina Soy in Estill, a South Carolina town of about 2,500 residents, roughly 70 miles southeast of Aiken.

Before United Energy blends its biodiesel mixture, the soybean oil must be shipped by rail to the Midwest for refining, a step Roberts estimates adds about 30 cents per gallon to the cost of his product.

Roberts said he could do away with that cost if he was able to process the oil at his own refinery, just several miles down the road from his pumping facility.

One thing that stands in the way of making all of that happen, however, is a federal energy bill that would give tax credits to users of biodiesel, Roberts said.

An energy bill already exists that gives tax breaks to those using vehicles capable of burning alternative fuels.

But Roberts calls the legislation flawed because it didn’t factor in tax credits for the alternative fuels themselves.

Current legislation in Congress calls for up to a 20-cent-per-gallon tax credit (1 cent for each percentage of biodiesel fuel used in a petroleum diesel mix up to 20 percent), but has yet to be signed into law.

Such a credit would go a long way toward making consumers consider the switch, Roberts believes.

Still, Roberts puts his biodiesel prices up against other suppliers and says that anyone paying a difference of more than 20 cents a gallon for biodiesel over regular diesel is likely falling prey to profiteers.

“A lot of people are basically whoring this product. They’re marking it up and claiming it’s just the greatest thing since gravy,” Roberts said. “And it is a great product. We have chosen that we want to advance the choice. That’s our company slogan: advancing the choice. We want to give the consumer the option to choose between alternative fuel or conventional fuel. And so we have purposely kept our (profit) margin at almost nothing.”

This particular day, Roberts’ B20 is actually

selling at $1.46 a gallon, a few cents less than regular diesel.

Roberts can keep his prices competitive awhile, but not forever, which is why he’s looking to the federal government for a bill that would keep alternative fuel prices competitive with petroleum.

Between the tanks and pumps at the Toolebeck Road facility and the property on which he plans to construct the refinery, Roberts says he already has sunk $1 million into his alternative fuel efforts.

He hopes the energy bill comes through soon.

“It’s a $16 million adventure for us; that’s what it’s going to cost to build a refinery,” Roberts said. “We already have the land, rail siding and tank farm. We’re ready to go. But I’m not going to go to any bank and ask them for $16 million when we don’t have an energy bill.

“We’re waiting on an energy bill. It doesn’t work without it. Because of the demand, because of the price.”

GREASING THEIR WHEELS Various county, city and utility company fleets throughout the country already have found their way to biodiesel, either through their own volition or to meet certain government requirements pertaining to pollution reduction.

One of them is Georgia Power, which operates about 200 vehicles on biodiesel throughout the Atlanta area and in Macon, according to Lynn Wallace, a spokesperson with the company.

Wallace said Georgia Power has been using a B20 biodiesel blend since 1999.

Cost, however, is a factor, which is why the company hasn’t used biodiesel in more of its vehicles, Wallace said. She cited the pending energy bill as something that may allow Georgia Power to use more biodiesel in the future.

Wallace said Georgia Power currently pays about 50 cents more per gallon for B20 than regular diesel.

However, Wallace said the company sees some return from the biodiesel’s much-touted lubricating quality.

“They’re finding that the engines last longer because the biodiesel has more lubricants with the oil,” Wallace said. “It’s

“I think anytime we can recycle, anytime we can reduce the net production of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, anytime we can make use of waste material and do it economically, anytime we can soak up excess production from the agricultural sector, all of those are good things.”

— Professor James G. Goodwin Jr. of Clemson University, who’s involved in biodiesel research. cleaner to the system.”

Biodiesel can run in most modern-day diesel engines without any modifications whatsoever, industry experts say.

Most commercial vehicle manufacturers allow for their engines to be run on up to a B20 mixture without voiding engine warranties, though Roberts said he has experi-

mented with B100 in some of his company trucks and not had any problems.

“Smelled peculiar, but it ran fine,” Roberts said. “A little bit of loss of power, but it ran fine.”

Locally, Aiken County’s transit system made the switch to biodiesel in July of 2002 for its fleet of four buses.

Jeanene Knapp, transit manager for the county, said it didn’t take long to see the difference.

“That little bit of soybean oil makes a huge difference in what comes out the tail pipe,” Knapp said. “The fuel, you know, it burns a lot cleaner. And it’s sold under state contract (in bulk), so we only pay like a penny or two a gallon to use a cleaner, more efficient fuel.

So it’s worth it to us to do it.”

Knapp purchases her fuel from United Energy and said she likes the fact that it’s a homespun fuel source.

“It’s an American-made, local product,” Knapp said. “It reduces that black smoke that comes out the back of a regular diesel engine.

It’s cleaner, it’s environmentally friendly and it’s economically friendly because of that local tie-in.”

Augusta transportation officials, however, say we shouldn’t expect to see biodieselfueled vehicles here anytime soon.

“This alternative fuel stuff is quite expensive at the front end and our tax base really wouldn’t support anything new and innovative like that unless there was an economic advantage to us or we were forced by EPD (Environmental Protection Division) regulations to convert to that,” said Ron Crowden, Richmond County’s fleet manager. “It boils down to the mighty dollar. When the dollar ain’t there, you can’t do what you really think you should do.”

Richmond County Transit Department Manager Heyward Johnson said he has discussed using biodiesel, but having to truck in the fuel for Augusta’s buses from Aiken’s

United Energy, the closest distributor, makes using the fuel cost-prohibitive.

“When we initially looked at it, the cost is what drove us away from it,” Johnson said.

“That there was no local person here and it would have to be brought all the way from Aiken.”

DEEP-FRYER ECONOMICS Like all things that sound too good to be true, biodiesel is not totally without its faults.

Although the fuel does reduce carcinogens and particulate matter, it is blamed for significant emissions of nitrogen oxide, the culprit of smog and ozone.

A company in Stamford, Conn., called Clean Diesel Technologies, recently completed testing of a fuel additive that has shown some promise for reducing nitrogen oxide emissions from biodiesel, though it’s too early to tell.

Another problem with biodiesel, particularly that which is derived from recycled restaurant grease, is that it tends to gel up in colder climates like the northern United States.

And then of course, there’s the main problem facing American consumers: The lack of a significant number of diesel passenger cars on the market.

But Roberts is convinced that will change, citing the recent popularity of gasolineelectric hybrids and President Bush’s push for research into hydrogen fuel.

“Do I think that Honda will make a diesel engine to run biodiesel fuel in this Honda Pilot? Yes I do,” Roberts said, referring to his own vehicle. “Do I think GM will? Yes I do continued on page 24

Either We Drove the Jetta to the Fountain of Youth, or it Drove Itself STARTING STARTING AT AT

$17,430

* MSRP

STANDARD EQUIPMENT

GERALD JONES VOLKSWAGEN WWW.GERALDJONESVW.COM 706-228-6900

Located in the former Columbia Square Shopping Center in Martinez

23

*Plus Tax, Tag, & Destination Fee

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

• Anti Theft System • Full Size Spare • Side Curtain Protection™ Airbags • 4-Wheel ABS • Remote Control Locking System • 4 Year, 50k Mile Manufacturers Warranty • Cruise Control • CD Player • Power Windows

THINKING ABOUT A NEW POOL Call Charles Evans Pools Complete Pool Construction, Maintenance and Supplies

Charles Evans Pools 476 Flowing Wells Road, D1 • Martinez, GA 30907 • 706-364-0731

• Construction • Full Line Chemicals, Accessories, Parts & Supplies • Liner Replacement • Service & Repair • Pool Cleaning

• Large private courtyard with fountain accessible from main room • Centrally located in historic downtown Augusta

continued from page 23 ... But the (biodiesel) product’s got to become a viable product for them to do that.”

But even then, there’s still the cost — anywhere from 15 cents to 50 cents more a gallon than traditional diesel.

One thing that has kept the cost of biodiesel high is the lack of an efficient catalyst to cause the chemical reaction to take place that converts vegetable oil to biodiesel.

Enter James G. Goodwin Jr., a professor and chair of Clemson University’s Chemical Engineering department.

In October, Goodwin received a $900,000 grant from DOE and the U.S. Department of Agriculture to develop a more efficient biodiesel catalyst.

Currently, most biodiesel operations must refine the vegetable oil in batches, switching out the catalyst each time, which escalates costs, Goodwin said.

He and his research staff have been tasked with developing a catalyst — either in pelletized or similar form — that could be left in place in a refinery system for longer periods.

“In one end comes, let’s say, a vegetable oil, and out of the other end comes biodiesel.

But the catalyst stays in there and if developed properly, you may operate for months or even years without changing the catalyst,” Goodwin said by phone. “And of course, that’s a tremendous savings because right there, you knock about 9 cents per gallon off the cost of production.”

Goodwin is focusing most of his attention on the reclaimed grease and vegetable oil approach to making biodiesel.

“It’s a way of recycling the amount of used fry oil coming out of these fast-food restaurants. It’s like a billion pounds a year,” Goodwin said. “And if you take a billion pounds of this grease, you can make something like 150 million gallons of diesel fuel.”

Goodwin said one can currently purchase reclaimed restaurant grease for about 14 cents a pound, the unit by which it’s most commonly measured for sale.

That makes reclaimed vegetable oil a pretty economical fuel, even with current refining systems, Goodwin said.

“And that’s why recycling this vegetable oil out of restaurants or whatever is economically feasible,” Goodwin said. “In fact, all the biodiesel plants that I know of are based on that.”

Goodwin mentioned one such plant in Las Vegas that produces a million gallons of biodiesel a year from used cooking oil reclaimed from casinos.

As for the question of whether we’ll all soon be driving around in cars fueled by last week’s fried fish dinner, however, Goodwin says not to hold our breath just yet.

It all comes down to economics, he said.

Goodwin said the United States wouldn’t have to import a single drop of foreign oil now, if it were willing to rely on its own reserves of oil, coupled with its natural gas and coal, which both can be converted into diesel fuel.

“If, let’s say, diesel fuel is costing $1.60 a gallon, you can make it from natural gas for a few cents more, and you can make it from coal probably for a few cents more than that,” Goodwin said. “I mean, you could make diesel fuel from coal if you were willing to pay $1.80 a gallon or something like that.

“And you know, the world runs on economics. So will we ever see that we’re not tied in to the rest of the world? Probably unlikely, just because the world becomes smaller and smaller and we want them to buy our stuff, so we buy their stuff.”

But that’s not to say that forging ahead with biodiesel and other alternative fuels isn’t worth the effort, Goodwin said.

“I think anytime we can recycle, anytime we can reduce the net production of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, anytime we can make use of waste material and do it economically, anytime we can soak up excess production from the agricultural sector, all of those are good things,” Goodwin said. “And so I think what you’ll see is that the conversion of biomass in different ways into fuel will probably expand rather than contract. Is it going to replace all the diesel fuel being sold? Probably not in the next 20 years.

“Eventually, if we run out of oil, something will have to replace it.”

• On site catering by Roux’s Gourmet Catering • Reception capacity - 300 people • We handle all the details!

• Please call for more information • Open to all licensed caterers

24

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

• Augusta’s most unique gathering place

Professionally managed by

Roux's Gourmet Catering

1244 Jones Street Downtown Augusta 724-2218

1257 Broad St. 724-1250

Photo Credit: Brian Neill

The site off U.S. Highway 78 on which Red Roberts plans to build a biodiesel refinery.???

art

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

flix

music

ART S MUSIC EVENT S

25

BITE Breakfast at the Whistle Stop Café

S

hortly after moving to Augusta, a friend took me to the Whistle Stop Café on Greene Street, where I made a mistake most first-timers probably do. When the waitress came to take our order, I asked for the pancakes, to which she stopped writing, arched her eyebrow and said,

“Pancakes?”

Luckily my friend interceded and took over the ordering process. Still a little slow in catching on, I didn’t fully understand why she and the waitress laughed and clarified that I would be having one pancake until I spied that one cake, as big as a dinner plate (a little bigger, actually), cooking on the griddle in the open kitchen behind the counter.

You may be, like I was that first visit, tempted to think that the Whistle Stop is a one-trick wonder, but it isn’t. The big pancake ($2.15) may be worth ordering just for the novelty factor, but it is good — thick, dense, fluffy and slightly sweet even without the maple syrup — and you’ll probably find yourself making repeat visits even after the novelty has worn off.

The Whistle Stop is just that kind of place. It’s small (with only a handful of tables and stools at the counter), it has that, shall we say, “lived-in” look of a place that’s been around for quite a while, it has no non-smoking sections, odd hours and only takes cash. And it’s usually packed. Don’t even think about visiting the Stop Saturday mornings without being prepared for a wait — downtown

By Amy Fennell Christian

residents stopping in to revive themselves with strong coffee and a filling meal after a late night will almost always beat you to a table.

It’s worth the wait, though, and not just for the pancake.

The coffee is strong and blazing hot (the folks at the Stop apparently don’t have the concerns over lawsuits that most fast-food places have), the people are friendly and there are a few other things on the menu worth ordering.

Almost everything on the breakfast menu is served a la carte, and it includes all the usuals: eggs, breakfast meats, hash browns and so on. They have a pretty large selection of biscuits, the country ham being one of the best. They also have a great biscuits with sausage gravy that we ordered several times before we realized the gravy is made from a mix.

We still order it, though, and it’s still good.

The best thing on the breakfast menu, however, is the sausage patties ($2.25 for two). I watched the cook once while he was making them and it went something like this: he took some links from the fridge, split the casings, plopped the meat on the grill and flattened them with what looks like an old-fashioned iron. They come to the table in all sorts of odd shapes rather than the perfectly-round patties you find at other places. Crunchy on the outside with a peppery bite, they’re perfect with the pancake.

Better yet, dip them in syrup and forget the pancake.

The Whistle Stop also serves lunch items, and when I went in for a late breakfast one weekday not long ago, it seems they do a good takeout business. For me, though, the big pancake and the sausage patties will do just fine.

The Whistle Stop Café is located at 573 Greene Street, 724-8224. They’re open 6:30 a.m.-3 p.m. Monday-Friday and 7 a.m.-1 p.m. Saturday. They only accept cash.

26

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

Last Minute Oscar Party?

The Academy Awards are this Sunday. That’s right, this Sunday, almost a month earlier than the pinnacle of movie awards shows has been in previous years.

If you’re a little behind in preparing to celebrate this Hollywood lovefest, don’t worry — there’s still time. There are several Web sites that can help, including Oscar.com. On the official site, you can find customizable e-mail invitations, printable ballots and other

fun stuff. Sign up at Eonline.com, and you and your friends can help Joan and Melissa rank the stars’ fashions.

But what about the food? We found a new cookbook, “Movie Menus,” that will help you recreate a feast fit for anyone from Shakespeare to a gladiator. Combining her love of food and movies, author Francine Segan has taken historical cookbooks and updated the recipes (she does include some of the original recipes, which are

hilarious) so that you can recreate anything from a Medieval feast to a speakeasy party.

Also included are movie quotes and some Oscar trivia, although most of it is pretty easy. After all, who doesn’t know that the only X-rated movie to win Best Picture was “Midnight Cowboy”?

For trivia, you’re better off searching the Web, but for a theme meal, this is your book. Or you could just order takeout.

in the mix Augusta resident since … … August. Shana and her family moved here from Oklahoma to be closer to her family in Jacksonville and her husband’s brother, who also lives in Augusta.

Best thing about living in Augusta?

“You’re two hours from anything you want to do.

You can go to the snow (although I don’t want to go to the snow), you can go to the beach … it’s a perfect location.”

Her mother’s curse Shana, one of three sisters, says her mother “put a curse on us” to all have three daughters as well.

The curse, it seems, has partially materialized.

Shana has three girls, ages 16, 13 and 4, and one of her sisters has three girls as well. Only one sister escaped the curse, instead having one girl and two boys.

Does she play golf?

“I have played golf and my score probably qualified me for the pro bowling tour. I try to avoid the golf course unless I’m selling beer.”

Photo by Joe White

So what does she like to do instead?

“Well … I play Candyland a lot with my 4-year-old, and Strawberry Shortcake Land. I like poetry also (she writes) and I’m a certified chemical dependency counselor. I’m trying to set up a referral program here in Augusta to help addicts get into programs.”

Biggest lie she’s ever told?

“Of course I’ve lied to my husband about new articles of clothing and gotten caught. I’ve gotten caught for everything!”

Favorite food?

“Crab cakes. I like all kinds of seafood except for halibut that has the little worms in it.”

She is happiest when … “… I’m making other people smile or doing things for other people.”

What is her dream trip?

“I don’t think I’d take anyone with me. That would be my dream trip, to be alone. I would go somewhere in Australia and probably stay at some nice hotel close to the beach.”

Favorite pastime?

“If you ask my husband, he would say playing card games on the Internet.”

Her ideal day would include … “… Being able to have some one-on-one time with each of my children, a two-hour massage and a nice dinner with the crab cakes, of course, and I think that’s it.”

She often dreams of … “… I can’t have that printed. My husband would divorce me … really.”

Shana

Austin

Food and Beverage Director, Jones Creek Golf Club

DOUX extrapur

®

Doux Soaps at ®

Unique Items for Everyday Living

Free Phone Call

Become an anonymous egg donor! Ovations is seeking healthy, educated women between the ages of 18-31, living in or going to college in the Aiken-Augusta area.

Suitable donors will be compensated in the sum of $5,000

William Sussman

———ATTORNEY AT LAW ——— 347 Greene Street • Augusta, Georgia

(706) 724-3331

For more information call 733-0130 1-866-517-7513

27

located inside Hidden Secrets on the Hill 2107 Kings Way • 481-0402

DUI

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

Hand-made, one at a time, in a 100- year-old mould from rich shea butter, pure olive and palm oils and natural fragrances from the Provençal countryside, DOUX® extrapur soaps from the South of France are like no other soaps in the world.

pure joy

ART S Glass Sculptures at the Morris

R

ichard Jolley is not your “slap some paint on a canvas and hang it on the wall” kind of guy — which is the type of artist many people think of when they start thinking of artists. For one thing, he’s a sculptor. But he’s also not your “chisel something from stone and stick it in the corner” kind of guy.

That’s because he is a sculptor of glass.

What you will see him do, is go after forms that are very similar to what sculptors in other media create — he likes torsos, heads and totems.

During a recent telephone conversation, I asked Jolley a mindnumbingly obvious question: Why glass?

“I was introduced to glass when I was going to college,” he said. “There is a certain fascination with the material, and once you become well-versed in the material, it’s something you enjoy doing.”

As for the totems, he said, the mature ones tended to be around four or five feet, with some of them growing even as large as nine feet. But in the beginning, he said, they tended to be around two or three feet. So it was an evolving concept.

If you speak with many sculptors, you may find that they work in a fashion that you may not expect — they have teams assemble their work. “I have three assistants helping me work on pieces,” he said. “So basically any work that’s of the complexity level mine is, it helps to have an extra set of hands.”

And then we went in a different direction. I asked about his distaste for being referred to as a “glass artist,” and his

28

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

1

By Rhonda Jones

preference for being called “an artist who works in glass.”

“Well, I feel that, if you’re going to be an artist you need to be versatile,” he said, adding that he thinks all artists pretty much hate labels.

I asked him about his series-work. He said that working in series allows him the opportunity to develop his ideas and “adjust the nuances.”

In addition to that, he said, he tends to work on a number of projects simultaneously. Some of those, he said, work their way to the forefront. But though others are set aside, they are not forgotten.

Projects may lie fallow for years, even as much as a decade, but later become the backbone of a series that comes to the forefront at that time.

And then there are his titles. For instance, one friendly-looking glass head from 1991 is called “Rogue.”

“Well I think when you interpret a work, I think the title is part of it. Titles are descriptive.”

“I hope that it’s visually literate enough so that people can look at it and bring a dialog to it,” he added. “And it’s not absolutely necessary to know what I think about the work. To a great extent I think people look at it differently than I do and I think that’s

fine. But yes, the titles do sort of relate to the narrative I feel the work has.”

I asked him what he would have people know about him as an artist. “I like my privacy,” he said. “I do think being an artist is sort of an odd situation. A lot of people have sort of a myth — the artist as visionary genius. Most artists like their private life.”

The better to create lots more sculptures.

Richard Jolley’s work will appear in Augusta during the months of March and April.

3

Exhibit: Richard Jolley: Sculptor of Glass Venue: Morris Museum of Art Opening Night: March 5 Exhibit Dates: March 6-May 9, 2004 Artist Lecture: March 18 Contact: (706) 828-3805 1. “Sleeping Male,” 1990. Glass, 16 1/4 by 9 1/2 by 4 inches.

2. “Taking Time,” 2001. Glass, 57 1/2 by 17 by 17 inches.

3. “Extravagant,” 1993. Glass, 14 1/2 by 10 1/2 by 9 inches.

4. “Holding Thoughts,” 2000. Wood, glass, steel, paint and silver leaf, 72 by 36 by 14 inches.

5. “Cerebral Hemisphere,” 1999.

Wood, glass and paint, 42 by 42 by 5 inches.

6. “Dual Nature,” 2001. Glass 12 1/4

5

2 4

6

arts

It’s Your Day Baby! Make it Count All Natural Bath & Body Products Made on Site

Political Icon and Really Bad Kid Make Great Leading Ladies

By Rhonda Jones

“There are a lot of nice plays out there that need to be done.”

He began to tell me about the leading lady, who is 11, three years older than the character she portrays. But, he added, she has no trouble “becoming” little Rhoda. Little psychopathic Rhoda.

SAMANTHA HENNING PLAYS RHODAIN IN “THE BAD SEED.” RHIANNON MARTIN PLAYS HER MOTHER

Production: “The Bad Seed” Company: Young Artists Repertory Theatre Venue: Goodwin Commons, Augusta Preparatory Day School Times: March 4-6 at 8 p.m. dinner theatre; 3 p.m. matinee on March 6 Contact: For reservations, call 210-8915

Production: “Evita” Company: The Augusta Players Venue: Imperial Theatre Times: Feb. 27-28 at 8 p.m.; Feb. 29 at 3 p.m.

Contact: Visit www.augustaplayers.com or call (706) 826-4707

NOW BUYING COIN COLLECTIONS Looking for Currency Collections & Confederate Currency

1255 Telfair Street • Corner of 13th St. & Telfair Augusta, GA 30901 • 722-9945

CALL

FOR YOUR CONFIDENTIAL APPOINTMENT

Wayne Damron Tue-Fri 10:30-4:30

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

The Bad Seed Is What You Need When Young Artists Repertory Theatre Theatre produced “Polyanna,” 11-year-old Samantha Henning was all set to step in as that symbol of childhood purity, should the need arise.

Well, now she’s turned over a new leaf. She now has the lead role in “The Bad Seed,” which was actually a movie in the 1950s with Patty McCormick.

When director John Greene learned that the ending was different, he decided to get hold of the script. He was not disappointed. “I got the play and decided that I really liked the ending very much,” he said.

“I needed to do something with a small cast after doing ‘The Homecoming’ which had 20 to 30 people,” he added. “For ‘The Bad Seed,’ it’s only about 11 people in the show.”

When I asked if that was easier, he laughed — and for quite some time. “It’s much easier from a blocking standpoint,” he said. “It’s nice to not have to be traffic cops so much.

To just have a nice intimate play.”

Tongue placed firmly in cheek, I asked if “The Bad Seed” was on its way to becoming Young Artists Repertory Theatre’s “Annie.”

“No, no I don’t think so. I don’t have any plans to do any type of recurring theatre piece except maybe in the genre — a Christmastype show or Halloween-type show,” he said.

And You Need-a Evita Too The Augusta Players are tackling a very different type of story. Their main character is Eva Peron, the national hero of Argentina in the first half of the 20th century. Artistic Director Richard Justice said that he is going for a traditional rendering of the story “Evita.”

The story, he said, takes place over the span of several years and creates a montage of the events of her life.

“It starts at her funeral and flashes back to 1934 in a small town in the countryside of Argentina,” he said. That’s where she meets the entertainer who takes her to Buenos Aires, which was the “big apple” of Argentina, Justice said. Eventually, she became a movie star, he said.

“Through her movies is where she met Juan Peron who at that time was a general in the Argentine army,” Justice said. “Through their connection and the revolution that was happening, they became the first family of Argentina.”

He said that the challenge of the piece lies in the technical aspects. Blocking (figuring out where each character is to be at each given moment and how she is to get there) is more difficult, he said, because there are no spoken lines.

“You can’t ask them to get to physical because they’re having to sing and they’re having to breathe a lot,” he said.

And that’s not all. The show is going to have multimedia elements in the form of projections behind the actors to show the action and setting, with two large screens on stage.

And the lead roles are being portrayed by Augusta Players Executive Director Debi Ballas as Eva and Imperial Theatre Director Greg Goodwin as Juan. And the narrator, Che, is being portrayed by Augusta musician Mark Swanson, who has worked with the soundtracks of other theatre groups.

Salt Glow Body Yogurt Lip Balms Lotion Soaps Tooth Powders Body Butter Natural Radiance Accessories 1036 Broad Street • (706) 724-6423 • Open 10am-6pm Mon-Sat

29

arts

Big Top Comes to Barton Field

By Rhonda Jones

I

t’s too bad that Tommy Hanneford and Dick Wilson had to be in another part of the country when I spoke to them about The Royal Hanneford Circus, because a conversation like that takes one into another world — a circus world, no doubt, but a world borne of another time as well.

And it’s no wonder. Tommy Hanneford, the sire of the Royal Hanneford Circus, was 5 years old in 1933 according to online sources — and already performing as a clown. He said that, when people ask him how early he started, he tells them he was “born in the trunk.”

He said that, when one is born into such a family, there is no other option than to become a performer. “My brother was in it and so was my sister,” he said.

“I was born in New York. All the vaudeville all over the United States was booked in New York. Daddy bought a home in Lake George. And then when we grew bigger with elephants and so forth, we moved to Florida. We’ve been in Florida 56 years in one place.”

Hanneford left the circus for a while after being drafted into the Army. When his tour of duty was up, he called home with the news that they wanted to promote him to lieutenant. But his dad wanted him back.

“Oh I was an accomplished bareback rider,” Hanneford said. He had learned his father’s act, and always admired the elder Hanneford. He associated his early memories of his father with the fur coat he wore for the act. “‘Look, you come back to me, son, and I’ll give you the fur coat,’” Hanneford said, mimicking his father during that phone call home to tell of the promotion.

“I always wanted to be like my father,” Hanneford said. “So he retired, and gave me the comedy fur coat.”

Hanneford said he wouldn’t trade his life as a circus performer for anything. “I loved it and it loved me and I’m very successful. It turned out right for me.”

30

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

Hanneford History Delving into the history of the Hannefords and their circuses is not the easiest task in the world. That’s because that particular history stretches back to 1690, according to information provided by the Hannefords, when Irishman Michael Hanneford toured England with a show called Wombwell’s Menagerie. It is said that he was such a stunning horseman that word of his prowess made its way to King George III, and that Michael Hanneford was subsequently invited to participate in a juggling contest before the

THE ROYAL HANNEFORD CIRCUS BRINGS ANIMAL ACTS (ABOVE), A REAL-LIVE RINGMASTER (BOTTOM LEFT) AND MANY OTHER PERFORMERS, ALL UNDER AN OLD-FASHIONED BIG TOP (TOP LEFT). king himself, to determine who was the best in all of England.

Eventually, the Hannefords decided to create a circus of their own. In fact, if you visit http://sahibshrine.org/circus/hanneford.htm, you will see a photograph of a big top captioned as the Hanneford Circus appearing in Strabane, Ireland, in the late 1800s. You can also see the photograph at http://www.hanneford.8m.com/history/history_page.htm, yet these are the Web sites of two different circuses. In fact there is a disclaimer in the “Family” section of the http://www.hanneford.8m.com site, which distinguishes between itself, which is for the Hanneford Circus, run by George Hanneford Jr., who is Tommy Hanneford’s older brother, and the Royal Hanneford Circus, which is Tommy’s affair. So apparently, there have been many circuses owned and operated by the Hanneford family.

Dick Wilson, who is the general manager and director of the company, described how they operate.

“We are the largest circus-producing company in the United States,” he said.

“We have five units of the circus — three big tops and two major arena circuses.”

The one coming to Fort Gordon, he said, is in the Mendoza big top, which he described as an American-style tent. He said that there are no poles obstructing the audience’s view of the action.

He said that their acts come from all over the world, and are found by agents who travel and send back videos of interesting acts they find. The videos are sent back to the states for review and Wilson and company either fly over for a visit or offer to fly the act to the U.S. for a visit. He said the circus has worked with acts from China, Russia, Argentina, Mexico, Spain, England, France and Africa. And in order to introduce them to American culture, he takes them to Wal-Mart.

He also swore he was serious.

“It’s total astonishment. They can walk in, get what they want. There are no lines.

Nobody cares what they look like. If they want to get a six-pack of beer they can go buy it.”

“We take it all for granted,” he added.

I asked him what it was like to work at the circus.

“Every single day is different and you never know what’s going to happen,” he said. They travel 48 weeks a year, he said, and go into rehearsal for two weeks between tours.

“It’s everything that the people want to see in the circus,” he said, adding that the Royal Hanneford Circus has the only horse-and-camel act in the world, as well as the largest liberty horse act, performed

by Nellie Hanneford.

“Eighteen horses,” he said. “And there’s

never been anything like it in the history of the circus.”

Asked what he thought of working this kind of job, he acted as though I’d asked him what he thought of breathing.

“Oh, I love it. I wouldn’t be doing it if I didn’t. Who wouldn’t love it? You’re bringing excitement. You know what keeps us all going? Whenever you get tired or it’s raining or whatever, all you have to do is look at the audience. Look at the kids. Look at their faces. That’s why there’s always going to be a circus.

As long as there’s children, there’ll be a circus.”

Event: The Royal Hanneford Circus Times: Feb. 26-27 at 4:30 p.m. and 7:30 p.m.; Feb. 28 at 10:30 a.m., 2 p.m. and 7 p.m.; Feb. 29 at 2 p.m. and 4:30 p.m.

Venue: Fort Gordon’s Barton Field Tickets: $10 for those 13 and older, $5 for kids 3-12. Kids under the age of 3 will be admitted for free.

Purchase at the gate, Fort Gordon Federal Credit Union and the Fort Gordon Theatre.

Contact: (706) 791-6779

Kids

Learning

Volunteers

Sports

Calendar Health

Education

Out of Town Music

Special

Benefits Meetings Theater Auditions Exhibitions Attractions MuseumsArts Seniors Dance Arts

PHOTOGRAPHIC WORKS BY SELLY GOODWIN will be on display in the art hall of Sacred Heart Cultural Center through Feb. 29. Call 826-4700 for more information.

Auditions

“TIME AND TIDE,” an exhibition of works by artist Wanda Steppe, will be on display through April 10 at the Rabold Gallery. For more information, call (803) 641-4405.

ENOPION THEATRE COMPANY is looking for volunteers to act, sing, sew, build and more for their new musical, “Creation.” Applications are available at www.imaryproductions.com or by calling (803) 442-9039.

MASTERWORKS OF SOUTHERN ART tour to take place on Feb. 29 at 2 p.m. at the Morris Museum of Art. Contact Cary Wilkins at 724-7501 for more information.

SWEET ADELINES HARMONY RIVER CHORUS OPEN REHEARSAL for singers each Thursday at 7 p.m. at Church of Christ, 600 Martintown Rd. in North Augusta.

They are on the lookout for voices in the lower ranges.

Contact Stacy Branch at 877-9931.

AIKEN HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT ART SHOW at the upper gallery of the Etherredge Center in Aiken March 8-April 5. For more information, call (803) 641-3305.

MATT WHITFORD will display art at the lower gallery of USC Aiken’s Etherredge Center March 3-April 2. For more information, call (803) 641-3305.

AUGUSTA CHILDREN’S CHORALE is holding auditions on three Saturdays this spring, beginning in March. For more information, call 826-4718.

RICHARD JOLLEY, sculptor of glass, will display works March 6-May 9 at the Morris Museum of Art. For more information, call 724-7501.

COUPLE SOUGHT FOR WEDDING REENACTMENT of 1924 wedding that took place in Beech Island. Any couple between the ages of 20-25 that wants a 1924 period wedding complete with clothing, stage directions and minister should contact Joan Harrison at (803) 827-3209.

25TH ANNUAL AGNES MARKWALTER YOUTH ART COMPETITION to take place at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art March 5-28. Competition will feature works from area public, private and home-school students. For more information, contact Amy Etheridge at 722-5495.

AUDITIONS FOR “BRIGHTON BEACH MEMOIRS,” presented by the Aiken Community Playhouse, will be on Feb. 29 and March 1 at 7 p.m. (803) 648-1438.

ART EXHIBITION AND AUCTION, held by St. Mary Help of Christian School, Feb. 27 at 7:30 p.m., with a preview at 6:30 p.m. Donations of $5 per person are asked. For more information, call (803) 649-2071.

FORT GORDON DINNER THEATRE is holding auditions for the May production of “Second Samuel” March 8 and 9 at 7:30 p.m. For more information, call 791-4389.

“RECENT ACQUISITIONS: AFRICAN-AMERICAN ART IN THE SOUTH” will run at the Morris Museum of Art through March 28. For more information, call 724-7501.

NOMINATIONS FOR GIRL SCOUT WOMEN OF EXCELLENCE program due March 5. Nominations in the areas of arts, business, community services, education, government, health and professions are accepted. For more information, or to receive a nomination form, call 774-0505.

Dance Photo by Joe White

Education DANCE LIKE THE PROS with ballroom dance lessons on Tuesdays, March 2-April 6 from 7:30-8-30 p.m. at the H.O. Weeks Center. Call (803) 642-7631 for more information.

ISRAELI DANCE WORKSHOP at the Augusta Jewish Community Center Sunday afternoons, 4-5 p.m. Open to teens and adults; no experience or partners are necessary.

Cost is $2 per session, with the first session free. For information or to schedule a pre-class beginner/refresher session, contact Jackie Cohen, 738-9016.

GERTRUDE HERBERT INSTITUTE OF ART is accepting applications for tuition assistance for spring quarter classes through March 19. For more information, contact Amy Etheridge at 722-5495.

Exhibitions ART WERGER exhibits at the Mary Pauline Gallery through March 27. Call 724-9542.

KATHY CAUDILL exhibits in the Etherredge Center Galleries at USC-Aiken through Feb. 29. Call (803) 6413305 for additional information.

OIL PAINTINGS BY KATHLEEN BRYAN will be on display at the Gibbs Memorial Library throughout February.

863-1946.

PAINTINGS BY MALAIKA FAVORITE will be on exhibit at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History through the end of February. For more information, call 724-3576.

CERAMICS BY REBAKKAH ROSENBAUER will be on display at the Euchee Creek Branch Library during February. Call 556-9795 for details.

“ANNE HEBEBRAND: CURRENT WORKS” on display at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art through March 12.

Call 722-5495.

AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF THE UNITED STATES AMATEUR BALLROOM DANCERS ASSOCIATION holds a dance the first Saturday of each month, from 7:15-11 p.m. Cost is $7 for members and $10 for non-members.

Held at the BPOE facility on Elkdom Court. Contact Melvis Lovett, 733-3890, or Jean Avery, 863-4186, for information.

“DON QUIXOTE,” performed by the Moscow Festival Ballet, will take place on Feb. 27 at 8 p.m. at USC Aiken’s Etherredge Center. For more information, call (803) 641-3305.

Music MUSICAL TALES, presented by ASU’s Lyceum Series, will be on Feb. 29 at 3 p.m. in the Maxwell Performing

31

ART CLASSES FOR CHILDREN AND ADULTS at the Art Factory. The Art Factory also has a homeschool program and scholarships are available. Programs include painting, pottery, pilates, hip hop and modern dance and more. Classes are held at the Art Factory, 418 Crawford

Ave., or at the Augusta Jewish Community Center. Call 731-0008 for details.

THE DANCES OF UNIVERSAL PEACE held the first Saturday of every month, 7-9 p.m., at the Unitarian Church of Augusta, honor the religious traditions of the world through song and movement. Call (803) 643-0460 for more information.

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

ART CLASSES AND WORKSHOPS are offered yearround at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art. Classes and workshops are open to toddlers through adults and feature instruction in drawing, painting, photography, pottery, weaving and sculpture. For a newsletter or detailed information on registering for classes at the Gertrude Herbert, call 722-5495. The Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art also offers educational tours; for information, contact the education director at the above telephone number.

THE AUGUSTA LYNX PLAY AT HOME FEB. 26.

THE AUGUSTA INTERNATIONAL FOLK DANCE CLUB meets Thursday evenings at 7:30 p.m. No partners are needed and newcomers are welcome. Call 737-6299 for location and info.

Arts Theatre. Admission is free. Call 737-1878 for more information.

PUBLIX FAMILY CONCERT will take place on Feb. 29 at 3 p.m. at the Maxwell Performing Arts Theater at ASU. The concert will feature the piano of Ling-yi Kung, 11 year-old Davidson Fine Arts student and winner of last November’s Symphony Youth Competition. Also, visual artists will draw to the music of “Peter and the Wolf” as it is being performed. For more information, call 826-4705.

FACULTY ARTIST RECITAL March 4 at 7:10 p.m. at USC Aiken’s Etherredge Center. For more information, call (803) 641-3305.

WILLIE NELSON performs at the Augusta-Richmond County Civic Center on Feb. 28 at 8 p.m. Tickets are $35. Call 722-3521 for more information.

AUGUSTA CHORALE HERITAGE CONCERT to take place on Feb. 29 at 4 p.m. at the Gilbert Lambuth Memorial Chapel of Paine College. For more information, call 733-7809.

Attractions MOTORIZED TOURS OF HISTORIC AIKEN every Saturday, 10-11:30 a.m. Tours leave from the Washington Center for the Performing Arts. Reservations are required, and patrons must be age 2 and older. (803) 642-7631.

AUGUSTA CANAL INTERPRETIVE CENTER: Housed in Enterprise Mill, the center contains displays and models focusing on the Augusta Canal’s functions and importance to the textile industry. Hours are Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m. and Sun., 1-6 p.m. Admission is $5 adult, $4 seniors and military and $3 children ages 6-18.

Children under 6 admitted free. Guided boat tours of the Augusta Canal depart from the docks at Enterprise Mill at 11 a.m., 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m. Saturdays and Tuesdays and Thursdays at 11 a.m. and 1:30 p.m. Tour tickets are $6 adults, $5 seniors and $4 students and

HISTORIC COTTON EXCHANGE WELCOME CENTER: Open Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m.; Sun. 1-5 p.m.

Riverwalk. Free. Call 724-4067.

THE EZEKIEL HARRIS HOUSE: Deemed “the finest 18th century house surviving in Georgia” by the “Smithsonian Guide to Historic America.” Open Saturday, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. General admission is $2; senior admission is $1 and children get in for 50 cents. For more information, call 724-0436.

Museums “CONVERSATIONS: LOOKING AT AFRICAN-AMERICAN ART” at the Morris Museum of Art Feb. 26, 7 p.m. Lola Richardson and Audrey Crosby discuss the Morris’ collection

JENNIFER CLARK TRUST ANNUAL CONCERT, with Redbelly, The Big Mighty, Daze of Haze, Joe Stevenson, Pat Blanchard Band and The Aphrodisiacs, will benefit the Jennifer Clark scholarship program. Concert is on March 5. Call 722-8341 for more information.

THE CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. and every Wednesday evening from 5:30-7:30 p.m. at the Pet Center located behind the GreenJackets Stadium on Milledge Rd. 261-PETS.

AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 MINUTES by the Augusta Children’s Chorale will be on March 6 at 8 p.m. at the Sacred Heart Cultural Center. Call 826-4713 for more information.

“THE GIRLS ARE BACK IN TOWN” with Chonda Pierce and Sandi Patty at the Bell Auditorium has been postponed until March 29. Call 1-800-965-9324 for information and ticket prices.

“NOISES OFF” will be performed at Fort Gordon’s Dinner Theater through Feb 28. Dinner is served at 7 p.m. and the show begins at 8 p.m. Call 791-4389 for more information.

SPECTRUM PLAYERS DRAMA PRODUCTION presented

by Davidson Fine Arts School on March 4 and 5 at 4 p.m. in the Beverly J. Barnhart Theater. For more information, call 823-6924, ext. 137.

“EVITA” presented by the Augusta Players on Feb. 27-29 at the Imperial Theater. For more information, call 826-4707.

“ME, MARTIN AND THE MOUNTAINS,” presented by Teens in Action with Goals, will be performed at the Henry H. Brigham Community Center Gymnasium on Feb. 29 at 6 p.m. Cost is $20. For more information, call 792-1088.

“IT RUNS IN THE FAMILY” will run Feb. 27, 28, 29 March 5 and 6 at the Aiken Community Playhouse. For more information, call (803) 648-1438.

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

“BAD SEED,” presented by the Young Artist Repertory Theatre Company, will run four performances March 4-6 in the Goodwin Commons of Augusta Prepatory Day School. Performance times are at 8 p.m. on all three days with an additional 3 p.m. performance on March 6.

For more information, 210-8915.

32

“GUILTY UNTIL PROVEN INNOCENT” will be at the Bell Auditorium on March 5 at 8 p.m. For more information, call 722-3521.

BLACK HISTORY MONTH FRIDAY FLICKS each Friday in February at ASU’s Allgood Hall, room E257 from noon-2 p.m. Contact Amy Connell at 667-4807 for more information.

RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL AND AUGUSTA ANIMAL RESCUE FRIENDS hold pet adoptions at Superpetz off Bobby Jones Expressway every Sunday from 1-4 p.m. Call AARF at 364-4747 or visit www.aarf.net. Adoptions also held at the Richmond County Animal Control Shelter, Tues.-Sun., 1-5 p.m. Call the shelter at 790-6836.

FAIRFIELD FOUR WITH THE PAINE COLLEGE CHOIR will perform at the Imperial Theatre on March 6 at 7 p.m. This concert is the first of the “Southern Soul and Song Gospel Series” concerts. Tickets are $20 each.

For more information, call 722-8341.

“LAST OF THE RED HOT LOVERS” will be presented by Stage III at 7 p.m. Feb. 26-28 and 3 p.m. Feb. 29 at the Augusta Jewish Community Center in Evans. Reservations are required for dinner theatre performances. Call 2283636 or 868-9663 for tickets and information.

THE ROYAL HANNEFORD CIRCUS comes to Fort Gordon’s Barton Field Feb. 26-29. Tickets are $10 for those 13 and up, $5 for children 3-12 years old and free for children under 3. 791-6779.

COLUMBIA COUNTY HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. and every Sunday from 1-4 p.m. at PetsMart. For more info, call 860-5020.

SPRING CONCERTS AT THE COMMON are held at the Augusta Common March 5, April 9, and May 1 from 7-9 p.m. For more information, call 821-1754.

Theater

SECOND ANNUAL FESTIVAL OF HORSES in Aiken will be on March 6 at various locations in the Aiken area.

The festival will celebrate the beauty of horses, historic stables and famous racetracks. For more information or a schedule of events, call (803) 649-6540.

MCDUFFIE FRIENDS OF ANIMALS holds pet adoptions each Saturday, 1-3 p.m. at Superpetz on Bobby Jones Expressway. Call 556-9090 or visit www.petfinder.com.

AUSTRIAN MASTERS: The Augusta Symphony presents the fourth concert in its 2003-2004 Masterworks Series on Feb. 28, 8 p.m. The concert will feature works from Mozart and Beethoven. Call 826-4705 for more information.

ROY GOODWIN MEMORIAL CONCERT will feature Keith Shafer and Fabio Mann performing music for trumpet and organ on March 9 at noon at St. Paul’s Church. The concert is in the Tuesday’s Music Live series. For more information, call 722-3463.

Special Events

BLACK HISTORY COOK-OFF will take place at the Smith Hazel Recreation Center on Feb. 28 from 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Cost is $10. Call (803) 642-7635 for more information.

STORYLAND THEATRE PRESENTS “THE COURTSHIP OF SEÑORITA FLORABELLA” FEB. 24-28 AT THE MAXWELL PERFORMING ARTS THEATRE. children. For tour information, call 823-7089. For other info, visit www.augustacanal.com or call 823-0440.

THE BOYHOOD HOME OF WOODROW WILSON: Circa 1859 Presbyterian manse occupied by the family of President Woodrow Wilson as a child during the Civil War and Reconstruction. Original and period antiques, restored house, kitchen and carriage house. 419 Seventh Street. Open 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Tues.-Sat. Tours available; groups of 10 or more by appointment only.

Admission is $5 adults, $4 seniors, $3 students under 18 and free for ages 5 and under. 722-9828.

AUGUSTA GOLF & BOTANICAL GARDENS OF THE GEORGIA GOLF HALL OF FAME features beautiful display gardens, as well as bronze sculptures of some of golf’s greatest masters. Available for rent for a variety of functions. Group discount rates available. Closed Mondays; open from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Tues.-Sat.; open from 1-5 p.m. on Sunday. Admission is $5.50 for adults; $4.50 for students, seniors and military; $3.50 for children (4-12); free for children 3 and under. Sundays are two for one with a Super Sunday coupon. Annual garden memberships are available. Call 724-4443 or 1-888874-4443. Also, visit their Web site at www.gghf.org.

NATIONAL SCIENCE CENTER’S FORT DISCOVERY: Children and adults alike can immerse themselves in the wonders of science through live demonstrations, virtual realities, Starlab, KidScape and more than 250 hands-on exhibits. General Admission: $8 for adults; $6 for children, seniors and active military. Group rates available.

Operating hours: Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sunday, noon-5 p.m. Call 821-0200, 1-800-325-5445 or visit their Web site at www.NationalScienceCenter.org.

REDCLIFFE STATE HISTORIC SITE: 1859 mansion of S.C. Governor James Henry Hammond, held by the family for three generations until 1975. Grounds and slave quarters are open Thursday-Monday, 9 a.m.-6 p.m.

House tours will be offered at 1, 2 and 3 p.m. Admission to the grounds is free. Fee for house tours is $3 for adults and children ages 6-17. For more information, call (803) 827-1473. 181 Redcliffe Road, Beech Island.

SACRED HEART CULTURAL CENTER is offering tours of its 100-year-old building. Mon.-Fri., 9 a.m.-5 p.m. $1 per person, children free. 826-4700.

of African-American art. Reception follows. Free for members, $3 for non-member adults and $2 for non-member seniors, students and military. 724-7501.

THE GERTRUDE HERBERT INSTITUTE OF ART in Ware’s Folly exhibits works by local and regional artists. Art classes, workshops and other educational programming for children, youth and adults are held in the WalkerMackenzie Studio. Open Tuesday-Friday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Saturday by appointment only. Admission is free, but a donation of $2 for adults and $1 for children and seniors is encouraged. Call 722-5495 or visit www.ghia.org for more info.

THE AUGUSTA MUSEUM OF HISTORY hosts permanent exhibition “Augusta’s Story,” an award-winning exhibit encompassing 12,000 years of local history. For the younger crowd, there’s the Susan L. Still Children’s Discovery Gallery, where kids can learn about history in a hands-on environment. The museum also shows films in the History Theatre and hosts a variety of programs.

Located at 560 Reynolds Street. Open Tuesday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sunday 1-5 p.m. Admission is $4 adult, $3 seniors, $2 kids (6-18 years of age) and free for children under 6. Free admission on Sundays. Call 722-8454 or visit www.augustamuseum.org for more information.

THE MORRIS MUSEUM OF ART hosts exhibitions and special events year-round. Open Tuesday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sundays, noon-5 p.m. Closed on Mondays and major holidays. 1 Tenth Street, Augusta.

Call 724-7501 or visit www.themorris.org for details.

THE MUSEUM OF LAUREL AND HARDY OF HARLEM, GEORGIA features displays of various Laurel and Hardy memorabilia; films also shown. Located at 250 N. Louisville Street in downtown Harlem. Open 1-4 p.m.

Thursday-Monday. For more information, call 556-3448.

LUNCH AT NOON LECTURE SERIES held the second Wednesday of every month at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History, 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Call the museum at 724-3576 for more information.

BLACK HISTORY MONTH EVENTS AT ASU: Feb. 27 — Inspiring African American Males to Finish College with Patrick Day at 11 a.m., Room W1008 of the Science Building; Feb. 28 — Forum: Am I My Brother’s Keeper?

The Absence of Black Males in Higher Education at noon in the Washington Hall Towers. Call 737-1878 for more information.

12TH ANNUAL HERITAGE BALL, presented by the African American Association of Augusta, will take place on Feb. 27, 7 p.m., at the Marbury Center. For more information, contact Edythe Diamond at 733-7510.

PHINIZY SWAMP BIKE TOUR will take place on Feb. 29, 2-4 p.m. Andy Jordan will lead the 15-mile ride.

Helmets required. Call 828-2109 to register or for more information. Only the first 50 participants will be allowed. Registration deadline is Feb. 27.

“SPRINGTIME MADE IN THE SOUTH” CRAFT SHOW will be at the Augusta Civic Center March 5-7, 10-6 on Friday and Saturday, and 11-5 on Sunday. Admission is $5. For more information, contact Russ Hunt at 847-9480.

GEM, MINERAL AND FOSSIL SHOW at the Julian Smith Casino on March 12-14, 10 a.m.-7 p.m. on Friday and Saturday, 11 a.m.-5 p.m. on Sunday. For more information, call 547-0178.

MINI JOB FAIR, sponsored by Fort Gordon’s Army Community Service, will be on March 3, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. at Fort Gordon’s Army Reserve Center, Building 14401 on 15th Street. For more information, call 791-3579.

MOLLY’S MILITIA, a pet adoption agency, holds adoption sessions each Saturday at Superpetz in Aiken from 11 a.m.-3 p.m., PetsMart in Aiken from 3-6:30 p.m., and PetsMart in Augusta from 4:30-7:30 p.m. For more information, call (803) 279-7003.

HEADQUARTERS LIBRARY FILM SERIES on March 1 features a showing of “The Big Heat,” and on March 8 features “The Killer.” Show times are at 6:30 p.m. and admission is free. For more information, call 821-2600.

Out of Town GEORGIA NATIONAL RODEO Feb. 26-28 at the Georgia National Fairgrounds and Agricenter in Perry, Ga. 1-800-987-3247.

“522 GEORGIANS: A MEMORIAL” EXHIBIT will be on display at the Tate Center Art Gallery at the University of

Georgia in Athens, Ga., through Feb. 28. For more information, contact Kevin McKee at (706) 542-6396.

“MY FAIR LADY” will be presented by the Alliance Theatre Company in Atlanta through Feb. 29. For tickets and information, call (404) 733-5000.

JOIN US

“FERDINAND THE BULL” will be presented by Alliance Children’s Theatre at the 14th Street Playhouse in Atlanta through March 7. Call (404) 733-4600 or visit www.alliancetheatre.org.

FOR AUGUSTA’S FIRST CANCER TOWN MEETING.

AT THE GEORGIA MUSEUM OF ART in Athens, Ga.: “Myths and Metaphors: The Art of Leo Twiggs” through March 28, “Leaving for the Country: George Bellows at Woodstock” through May 16, and “Landscape and Laughter: British Watercolors from the West Foundation Collection” through April 1. Visit www.uga.edu/gamuseum or call (706) 542-4662 for info.

AT THE HIGH MUSEUM OF ART in Atlanta: “The Undiscovered Richard Meier: The Architect as Designer and Artist” through April 4, and “Flashes of Memory: Paintings by Linda Anderson” through March 20. Call (404) 733-HIGH or visit www.high.org for information.

HQHA QUARTER HORSE SHOW March 5-7 at the Agricenter in Perry. For more information, call 227-2159.

SOUTHERN SPRING HOME AND GARDEN SHOW will take place March 3-7 in Charlotte, N.C. For more information, contact Southern Shows at (704) 376-6594.

“A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM,” presented by the New American Shakespeare Tavern in Atlanta, will run March 6April 4. For more information, call (404) 874-5299.

“AN ARTISTIC DISCOVERY”: Armstrong Atlantic State University in Savannah hosts a gallery reception for the annual U.S. Congressional District High School Juried Art Exhibition on March 7 at 2 p.m. The exhibition runs through March 5. For more information, call (912) 927-5381.

ATHICA’S CLOSING CELEBRATION: Athens Institute of Contemporary Art will feature Belly Dancing and World Music on Feb. 28 at 8-9:30 p.m. For more information, call (706) 208-1613.

Benefits AUGUSTA BALLET MERCEDES RAFFLE: The Augusta Ballet will raffle off a 2004 Mercedes CLK 320 Cabriolet during May’s First Friday celebration. Tickets are $100 each and may be purchased through the Ballet office at 261-0555.

AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL is in need of dog and cat food, cat litter and other pet items, as well as monetary donations to help pay for vaccinations. Donations accepted during regular business hours, Tues.-Sun., 1-5 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Call 790-6836 for information.

SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER BLOOD DRIVES in various locations around the CSRA this month.

For detailed information on locations and times to donate, visit www.shepeardblood.org. You may also call Susan Edwards at (803) 643-7996 for information on Aiken locations and Nancy Szocinski at 737-4551 for information on all other locations.

AMERICAN RED CROSS BLOOD DRIVES at the Aiken Red Cross Blood Center on Millbrook Drive and the

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Voted Best Steak In Augusta For 15 Years 1987-2002

Randy W. Cooper, M.D. MODERATOR General Surgery University Hospital Medical Staff

Elise D. Cook, M.D. The University of Texas M. D. Anderson Cancer Center

Arlie E. Fiveash, M.D. Radiation Oncology University Hospital Medical Staff

Alice K. David, M.D. Hematology/Oncology University Hospital Medical Staff

Vendie Hudson Hooks III, M.D. Colon and Rectal Surgery University Hospital Medical Staff

Knowledge is your best weapon in the fight against cancer.

University Health Care System is proud to bring you the area’s most enlightening cancer event of the year. Listen, learn and present your cancer questions to our esteemed panel – including specialists from University’s Cancer Center and The University of Texas M.D.Anderson Cancer Center, the nation’s number 1 cancer center.* Cancer Town Meeting Friday, March 5, 7-9 p.m.

Radisson Riverfront Hotel 2 Tenth Street, Augusta Admission and parking are FREE. Attendees will receive a cancer information kit and giveaways, and enjoy a dessert reception.

SEATING IS LIMITED. Mark R. Keaton, M.D. Medical Oncology University Hospital Medical Staff

Please R.S.V.P. to University’s Community Resource Center by March 1 at 706/868-3231 or 800/413-6652.

John M. Skibber, M.D., F.A.C.S. The University of Texas M. D. Anderson Cancer Center

You can also visit www.universityhealth.org and click on “Contact Us” to submit your questions in advance.

Lynn Moore Tucker, M.D. General Surgery University Hospital Medical Staff

*According to U.S. News and World Report’s annual hospital ranking.

Garrett L. Walsh, M.D. The University of Texas M. D. Anderson Cancer Center

THERE’S STRENGTH IN OUR NUMBERS.

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

2856 Washington Rd. 73-STEAK 1654 Gordon Hwy. 796-1875

Pa n e l o f s p e c i a l i s t s

THOMASVILLE ANTIQUES SHOW AND SALE will take place March 5-7 in Thomasville, GA. For more information, call (229) 225-9354.

33

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Augusta Red Cross Blood Center on Pleasant Home Road. The bloodmobile will also stop at various area locations this week. For a complete list, call the Aiken Blood Center at (803) 642-5180 or the Augusta Blood Center at 868-8800.

“A TASTE OF SOMETHING WILD,” a benefit for the Augusta Alzheimer’s Association will feature the Augusta area’s largest wild-game tasting event and soiree on March 6 from 5:30-8:30 p.m. at the Julian Smith Barbecue Pit on Lake Olmstead. For more information, contact Frank Spears at 860-1233.

JUNIOR LEAGUE OF AUGUSTA’S 52ND ANNUAL ATTIC SALE will take place on March 6, 7 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Augusta Exchange Club Fairgrounds. Admission is free.

All proceeds benefit the Junior League of Augusta. For more information, call 736-0033.

HOPE HOUSE “VIVA LAS VEGAS” FUNDRAISER will take place May 7, 6:30-11 p.m. at the Radisson Riverfront Hotel. The evening will feature a Vegas-style casino including Craps, Blackjack, Roulette and Poker, with prizes available to purchase with winnings. All proceeds benefit Hope House, Inc. For more information, call 737-9879.

“TASTE OF NORTH AUGUSTA” scheduled for Feb. 28 at the North Augusta Community Center from 7-9:30 p.m. Proceeds benefit the Center for Care and Counseling. For more information or to purchase tickets, call (803) 819-9021.

uled for March 6 at 9 a.m. at Newberry Hall in Aiken.

Cost is $20. For more information, call (803) 649-2221.

Health MCG GYNECOLOGIC CANCER SUPPORT GROUP meets the first Tuesday of each month at 7 p.m. in the Breast Health Services conference room on MCG’s first floor.

For more information, call 721-3992.

“GROWING UP FOR GIRLS,” presented by the MCG Children’s Medical Center and Sandy Hobbs, RN, will take place on March 9, 6-8 p.m. in room BT-1810. The program is free and open to the public, but registration is required. For more information, call 721-5437.

“ATTENTION DEFECIT HYPERACTIVITY DISORDER: ASK THE EXPERT,” seminar by William E. Pelman, Ph.D., will take place at the MCG Children’s Medical Center, room BT 1810 on March 11 from 3-4:30 p.m.

721-CARE. FIRST ANNUAL CANCER TOWN MEETING on March 5, 7-8:30 p.m. at the Radisson Riverfront Hotel. An esteemed panel of experts, including specialists from University Hospital and the University of Texas M.D. Anderson Cancer Center, will be on hand to inform and answer questions. Admission is free, but seating is limited. RSVP by March 1 at 868-3231.

Learning

“BETTER BRAINS FOR BABIES,” a class in the “Better Living in Augusta” series, will take place on March 9 and 11 from 6:30-8 p.m. at MCG’s Children’s Medical Center, room BT 1810. For more information, call 721-5437.

USC-AIKEN CONTINUING EDUCATION offers Paralegal Certificate Course, Taming the Wild Child, Conversational French, Italian, Spanish for the Beginner, Sign Language, Debt-Free Living and more. Travelearn learning vacations for adults and Education to Go online courses also available. For info, phone (803) 641-3563.

ANGELS HAVE WHEELS: Medicare recipients suffering from conditions such as arthritis, cardiovascular disease and respiratory disorders who have difficulty walking or propelling a standard wheelchair may be eligible to receive an electric wheelchair. For information on eligibility, call Gregory at 1-800-810-2877.

CULLUM LECTURE SERIES, “South Asia: On a Tryst With Destiny,” continues on Feb. 26, with Dr. Mumtaz Ahmad speaking about religion and politics in Pakistan at 11:30 a.m. and about the prospects for democracy in Pakistan at 7 p.m. On March 2 at 11:30 a.m., Dr. Sudha Ratan will speak on “Ethnic Identity and the Politics of Sri Lanka.” All events held in Butler Hall Auditorium. On March 9, Dr. Mary McCormack will present commentary at 11:30 a.m., followed by the first half of the film, “A Passage to India.” The second half of the film will be presented at 7 p.m. that evening. Visit www.aug.edu/library/cullum2004 or call Michael Bishku, 737-1709, or Jeff Heck, 667-4905.

AUGUSTA STATE UNIVERSITY CONTINUING EDUCATION is now offering the following classes: Shag, Ballroom, Line Dance, Beginning and Intermediate Language courses, Interior Design, Acting Workshop, Stained Glass, SAT Review, Power Yoga, Photography, Origami and more. Also, ASU offers online courses. For more information, call 737-1636 or visit www.ced.aug.edu.

AIKEN TECH CONTINUING EDUCATION offers the following courses: computer technology courses, healthcare courses, contractor programs, real estate courses and more. Aiken Tech also offers Education to Go classes online. For more information or to register, call (803) 593-9231, ext. 1230.

GED classes are offered by the Community Resource Center. Tuition is free, call 722-4999 for more information.

SERVICE CORPS OF RETIRED EXECUTIVES (SCORE) provides counseling and mentoring to business people either starting or continuing their business. Counseling is free and administered by retired executives. For more information, call 793-9998.

34

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

SEMINAR WITH HORTICULTURALIST TOM RAPP sched-

AUGUSTA BRAIN INJURY SUPPORT GROUP meets the second Thursday of every month, 6 p.m., at Walton West TLC. Brain injury survivors and their family members and caregivers are invited to attend. 737-9300.

PROJECT LINK COMMUNITY LECTURE SERIES is held the first Tuesday of every month and is sponsored by the MCG Children’s Medical Center. Project Link provides educational resources and guidance for families who have children with developmental delays, disabilities and other specialized health concerns. Free and open to the public; takes place from 6:30-8 p.m. in the main conference room at the Children’s Medical Center.

Call 721-6838 for information.

UNIVERSITY HEALTH CARE SYSTEM COMMUNITY EDUCATION holds workshops, seminars and classes on a variety of topics: weight and nutrition, women’s health, cancer, diabetes, seniors’ health and more.

Support groups and health screenings are also offered.

Call 736-0847 for details.

Kids CHILD SAFETY SEAT INSPECTIONS by SAFE KIDS of East Central Georgia and the MCG Children’s Medical Center on the first Wed. and Fri. of each month, by appointment only. To make an appointment or for more information, call 651-9300 (Wed. appointments) or 721KIDS (Fri. appointments).

“THE COURTSHIP OF SENORITA FLORABELLA” Feb. 24-27 at 9:30 a.m., 10:45 a.m. and 12:15 p.m. and Feb. 28 at 3 p.m. Feb. 24-27 performances are $3.50 per student and reservations are required; Feb. 28 performance is a family matinee and tickets are $4 per person, no reservations required. Held at the Maxwell Performing Arts Theatre. 736-3455.

AIKEN COUNTY PONY CLUB meets weekly. Open to children of all ages who participate or are interested in equestrian sports. For more information, contact Lisa Smith at (803) 649-3399.

GIRLS INCORPORATED OF THE CSRA AFTER-SCHOOL PROGRAM runs through May 21. Open to girls currently enrolled in kindergarten through high school. In addition to offering specialized programs, Girls Incorporated offers van pick-up at select schools, neighborhood drop-off, homework room and a hot evening meal. For information, call 733-2512.

WEEKLY STORY SESSIONS at all branch libraries. Visit www.ecgrl.public.lib.ga.us for more information.

FORE THE HEALTH OF IT ADAPTIVE GOLF CLINICS held the first Tuesday of every month at First Tee of Augusta. Physical and occupational therapists from Walton Rehabilitation Hospital will guide the course.

Call 823-8691.

FIRST SATURDAY STORYTELLING at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum. In addition, there is a tour of the museum. Held 10 a.m.-noon the first Saturday of the month.

Call 724-3576.

CHRONIC PAIN SUPPORT GROUP meets the first Thursday of every month, 10:30-11:30 a.m. at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital. 823-5294.

YOUR CHILD’S NUTRITION, a presentation by MCG nutritionist Karen Cota, will take place on March 4 in the Family Resource Center of the MCG Children’s Medical Center. Call 721-5437 for more information.

WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL AMPUTEE CLINIC for new and experienced prosthetic users meets the third Thursday of each month, 1-3 p.m. 722-1244.

STORYTIME IN THE GARDENS will take place Tuesdays at 4 p.m. in March and May in Hopeland Gardens. For more information, call (803) 642-7631.

WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL offers a number of health programs, including Fibromyalgia Aquatics, Water Aerobics, Wheelchair and Equipment Clinics, Therapeutic Massage, Yoga, Acupuncture, Children’s Medical Services Clinic, Special Needs Safety Seat Loaner Program., Focus on Healing exercise class for breast cancer survivors and more. Call 823-5294 for information.

2004 PROJECT LINK COMMUNITY LECTURE SERIES on March 4 will be “Summer Programs and Options for After School Care for Children with Special Needs” in the MCG Children’s Medical Center Conference Center, room 1810 from 6:30-8 p.m. Call 721-5437 for more information.

THE MCG BREAST CANCER SUPPORT GROUP meets the first Thursday of every month at 7 p.m. and provides education and support for those with breast cancer. For information, call 721-1467.

DIET COUNSELING CLASSES for diabetics and those with high cholesterol at CSRA Partners in Health, 1220 Augusta West Parkway. Free. Call 860-3001 for class schedule.

Surrey Center • Lower Level 434-0067 • shopviamizner.com

WEE WISDOM, an educational program for children under 5, presents “The First Years Last Forever” by Nancy Webb of the MCG Department of Pediatrics on March 11 from noon-1 p.m. in the Resource Library on the first floor of the Children’s Medical Center. 721-CARE.

Seniors HISTORY WITH SENIORS Feb. 26, 9 a.m.-2 p.m. at the Smith-Hazel Recreation Center. Senior citizens ages 60 and

older will gather to share stories and objects from their past. Free, but donations will be accepted. (803) 642-7635.

AARP TAX ASSISTANCE provided through April 13 at Friedman Branch Library on Thursdays, 9 a.m.-1 p.m.; Maxwell Branch Library Tuesdays and Fridays, 10 a.m.2 p.m.; and at the Gibbs Memorial Library Tuesdays, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Call the Friedman Branch at736-6758, the Maxwell Branch at 793-2020 or the Gibbs Memorial Library at 863-1946 for more information.

UNIVERSITY SENIORS CLUB has moved to a new location at 4106 Columbia Rd. University Seniors Club offers health screenings, support groups, health education classes and social activities. For more information, call 868-3231 or 1-800-413-6652.

HOME-BASED CARE available for low- to mid-income families seeking alternatives to nursing home placement. To participate, individuals must be aged 60 or up or must have disability status as defined by Social Security Administration guidelines. Applicants must also meet program income guidelines. For more information, contact the CSRA Area Agency on Aging at 210-2018 or 1-888-922-4464.

WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL offers Arthritis Aquatics and People With Arthritis Can Exercise. Call 823-5294 for information.

SENIOR VOLUNTEERS NEEDED for the new visitor center at Phinizy Swamp Nature Center to greet visitors, hand out literature and sell merchandise. Volunteers are asked to commit one Saturday or Sunday per month, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. or 1-5 p.m. Call 828-2109 for information.

AIKEN PARKS AND RECREATION offers a multitude of programs for senior adults, including bridge clubs, fitness classes, canasta clubs, line dancing, racquetball, arts and crafts, tennis and excursions. For more information, call (803) 642-7631.

THE ACADEMY FOR LIFELONG LEARNING offers lectures, courses, field trips, discussion groups and community information seminars on a variety of topics to mature adults. For more information, contact the USCAiken Office of Continuing Education at (803) 641-3288.

THE SENIOR CITIZENS COUNCIL OF GREATER AUGUSTA AND THE CSRA offers a variety of classes, including ballroom dance, aerobics, quilting, tai chi, Spanish, line dancing, bowling, bridge, computers, drama club/readers theatre and pinochle. For dates and times, phone 826-4480.

SENIORNET provides adults age 50 and over education for and access to computer technology. Many different courses are offered. Contact the USC-Aiken Continuing Education Office at (803) 641-3563.

SENIOR VOLUNTEERS NEEDED for new Docent Training Program at the historic home of Nicholas Ware. Learn the fascinating history of Ware’s Folly and the families who lived there. All interested should call 722-5495.

Sports LACROSSE CLINICS Feb. 28 at Doctors Hospital Field.

No equipment or previous experience required. Free.

Call Donna Pope, 364-3269.

FAMILY Y YOUTH SPORTS REGISTRATIONS for soccer school, flag football and flag football cheer squad through March 12. 738-6680.

FAMILY Y YOUTH SOCCER REGISTRATION through March 12 at Southside Branch. Call 738-6678, 3643669 or 738-6680 for details.

We’re th e area’s Lilly Puli exclusive tzer’s ® co shop for lorful co men, chil llections for wom dren, inf en, ants, be d and ba th!

March Edition March 2004

CELEBRATING OUR 4TH YEAR OF PUBLICATION

2004

Private School Guide Life with a Preemie

Grin and Bear It — A Guide to Family Photography

PAR PUBLICENTING ATIO N GOLOF AMERICA S DA WIN WARD GENER NER AL 2003 EXCELLENC A COMP WARD E ETITIO

N

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004 35

On Stands Now!

THE AUGUSTA CHORALE HERITAGE CONCERT WILL BE HELD FEB. 29 AT GILBERT LAMBUTH MEMORIAL CHAPEL OF PAINE COLLEGE. FAMILY Y RECREATIONAL GYMNASTICS session held March 8-May 14. Classes available for toddlers through teens. Call 738-6678.

THE AUGUSTA VOLLEYBALL ASSOCIATION is looking for new members. For more information, visit www.augustavolleyball.com.

AUGUSTA LYNX HOME GAME Feb. 26. For tickets, call 724-4423 or visit www.augustalynx.com.

THE AUGUSTA RUGBY CLUB is always looking for new members. Teams available for women and men; no experience necessary. Practice is Tuesday and Thursday nights, 7-9 p.m. at Richmond Academy. For more information, call Don Zuehlke, 495-2043, or e-mail augustarfc@yahoo.com.

You may also visit www.augustarugby.org.

VOLLEYBALL OPEN GYM will be held Wednesday nights in March and April in the H.O. Weeks Center from 7-9:15 p.m. For more information, call (803) 642-7631.

AUGUSTA FLYERS TRACK CLUB invites area youth ages 7-18 to join the team. Registration is through May 15; practice begins March 13. For more information, contact George Taylor at 738-3737.

HOCKEY SCHOOL CLINICS AND LEAGUE, sponsored by the Family Y, are to take place on Feb. 28, and all throughout March for ages 4-6, 7-12 and teens. For more information, contact Donna Pope at 364-3269.

AUGUSTA ROWING CLUB sports and fitness fair held at the boathouse on March 6 from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. There will be a bachelor auction held at the Modjeska Lounge later that evening. For more information, contact Brenda Cole at 855-9710.

ROCK CLIMBING DROP-IN CLASSES will begin March 5 at 5:30 p.m. for beginning climbers and at 6:30 p.m. for advanced climbers at the climbing wall at Virginia Acres Park in Aiken. Call (803) 642-7631 for more information.

VOLLEYBALL CLASSES FOR KIDS take place on Mondays March 8-April 19 from 6-7:30 p.m. at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. Call (803) 642-7631 for more information.

Volunteer METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

FORTE INTERNATIONAL EXCHANGE ASSOCIATION is in need of local host families for high school international exchange students for the 2004-2005 school year. For more information, contact Tracy Klemens, (678) 358-5890.

36

THE EARNED INCOME TAX CREDIT COALITION is looking for volunteers with basic computer skills to prepare tax returns for individuals with low and limited income, individuals with disabilities, non-English speaking persons and elderly taxpayers. Volunteers receive free training and instruction materials from the IRS and will serve at VITA sites throughout the community. For more information, contact Sheryl Silva, 826-4480, ext. 341.

AUGUSTA/CSRA HABITAT FOR HUMANITY needs volunteers at ReStore, Walton Way and Tenth Street, to assist with receiving donations of new and used building and home improvement materials and warehousing them for sale to the public. The store is open ThursdaySaturday year round. If you can commit eight or more hours per month, contact Steve Buck, 364-7637.

MENTORS AND VOLUNTEERS needed to provide support for MACH Academy at the May Park Community Center and the Fleming Tennis Center. Education, tutoring and technology sessions held Monday-Thursday, 3-6 p.m. at each location. Tennis instruction and fitness activities held Monday-Thursday, 6-7 p.m. at May Park and Monday-Tuesday, 6-8 p.m., Friday, 6-8 p.m. and Saturday, 2-5 p.m. at the Fleming Center. 796-5046.

PHINIZY SWAMP NATURE PARK VISITOR CENTER is in need of volunteers to greet visitors, hand out literature and sell merchandise. Volunteers must commit to one Saturday or Sunday each month, from either 9 a.m.-1 p.m. or 1-5 p.m. 828-2109.

UNITED HOSPICE OF AUGUSTA is in need of volunteers to support terminally ill patients. Scheduling and training times are flexible. Call Donna Harrell at 650-1522 for information.

THE ARTISTS’ CONSERVATORY THEATRE OF THE CSRA is looking for volunteer board members, actors and production crew. Call 556-9134 or e-mail act@theatermail.net.

SERVICE CORPS OF RETIRED EXECUTIVES (SCORE) provides counseling and mentoring to businesspeople starting up a new business or expanding an ongoing business. Services are provided free of charge. For more information, call the Augusta office at 793-9998.

SOUTHERNCARE HOSPICE SERVICE is currently seeking volunteers to perform a variety of tasks, including relieving caregivers, reading to patients and running errands. Training is included. For additional information, contact Lisa Simpson, (803) 463-9888 or 869-0205.

COURT APPOINTED SPECIAL ADVOCATE PROGRAM VOLUNTEER TRAINING: The CASA program is looking for volunteers 21 years of age and older to advocate for abused and neglected children in the juvenile court system. Volunteers need no experience and will be provided with specialized training. Call 737-4631.

CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY NEW VOLUNTEER ORIENTATION PROGRAM the third Saturday of every month at the Pet Center, 425 Wood St. Orientation starts at 11 a.m. Volunteers under 18 years of age must have a parent or guardian present during orientation and while volunteering. Call 261-PETS for information.

THE KITTY ORTIZ DE LEON FOUNDATION needs volunteers to help promote organ donor awareness. For more information, contact Cassandra Reed or Espy De Leon at 394-0838 or kodfoundation@aol.com.

GOLDEN HARVEST FOOD BANK needs volunteers during the day, from 8:30 a.m.-4 p.m. Monday-Friday, to help sort donated products and assist in their agency shopping area. Help is needed year-round. If you are able to lift 25 pounds, can commit to at least 3-4 hours per month and would like to help fight hunger in the Augusta area, contact Laurie Roper at 736-1199, ext. 208.

AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL: New volunteer orientation is scheduled the first Saturday of each month at 1 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Schedule subject to change; call 790-6836 to verify dates and times.

SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER is seeking donors to prevent a blood supply shortage. To donate call 737-4551, 854-1880 or (803) 643-7996.

RICHMOND COUNTY DEPARTMENT OF FAMILY AND CHILDREN SERVICES is seeking dependable foster parents to provide temporary housing, care and support for Georgia’s children. For more information, contact L. Lewis at 721-3718.

Meetings “THE FIRST STEP” DIVORCE RECOVERY WORKSHOP meets Sundays through Feb. 29 from 4-6 p.m. in Room 201 of the Walton Building at First Baptist Church. Free to the public. Free childcare for kids up to age 5. No registration is required. For more information, call 7332236 or visit www.fbcaugusta.org.

AMERICAN SINGLES GOLF ASSOCIATION meets the second Thursday of each month at different area restaurants. Meeting is free, but dinners are individually ordered. For more information, call (803) 441-6741.

AUGUSTA SKI AND OUTING CLUB, an organization for men, women and families who enjoy all types of outdoor recreation, will meet on the first Tuesday of each month in the Alamo Room of Lone Star Steak House at 7 p.m. For more information, call (803) 279-6186.

ARTIST GUILD OF NORTH AUGUSTA meets on the first Tuesday of each month in the North Augusta Riverview Park Activities Center in the Arts and Crafts room at 7 p.m. For more information, contact Yvonne Kinney at (803) 819-9787.

AUGUSTA NEWCOMERS CLUB holds their monthly coffee for prospective members the first Tuesday of each month.

For more information, contact Ruth Pearl at 650-1400.

RICHMOND COUNTY GREEN PARTY ANNUAL MEETING will view the film “Global Village or Global Pillage” on March 4, 6:30 p.m. at the Main Library downtown. For more information, call 821-2600.

GREATER COLUMBIA COUNTY REPUBLICAN WOMEN meets on the first Thursday of each month at Dye’s Southern Grille from 7-8:30 p.m. For more information, contact Teri North at 854-8470.

AUGUSTA CAVEMASTERS, a regional club for those interested in cave exploration and conservation of caverelated resources, meets the first Thursday of each month at 7 p.m. at the Warren Road Community Center.

For more information, call (803) 278-2751.

CSRA VW CLUB meets every first Friday at the corner of 6th and Reynolds, behind the train depot. For more information, visit www.csravwclub.org. New Beetles welcomed.

METRO AUGUSTA FRISBEE DOG CLUB meets the last Sunday of every month. For more information, call 210-8577.

FIRST FRIDAY GREAT DANE PARADE on the first Friday of every month at 7 p.m. in front of the Metro Coffeehouse.

Contact Tonia Thomas at 294-3724 for more information.

WOMEN ON WHEELS, a group for uniting women motorcycle enthusiasts, meets on the second Tuesday of each month at 6:30 p.m. for dinner, with meetings beginning at 7:30. For more information, call 855-7375.

FRIENDS OF THE AUGUSTA LIBRARY 2004 annual meeting to be held March 1 at 7 p.m. at the Covenant Presbyterian Church. This meeting is free and open to the public. For more information, call 821-2600.

HISTORY BOOK DISCUSSION GROUP meets at the Augusta History Museum on March 9 at 11 a.m. For more information, call 821-2604.

Weekly OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS meets every Sunday night, 7:30 p.m., at Holy Trinity Lutheran Church in North Augusta. For more information, call 278-5156.

NAR-ANON FAMILY GROUP for relatives and friends of drug abusers. No dues or fees. The group meets Mondays at 7 p.m. Call for location. For information, contact Josie, 414-5576, or Lionel, 860-0302.

GAMBLERS ANONYMOUS meets Thursdays, 7:30 p.m., in the basement of Fairview Presbyterian Church. 1800-313-0170.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: For more information and a meeting schedule, call 860-8331.

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS: If you want to stop using any drugs, there is a way out. Help is available at no cost. Call the Narcotics Anonymous help line for information and meeting schedules at 855-2419.

SEXAHOLICS ANONYMOUS, a 12-step program of recovery from addiction to obsessive/compulsive sexual thoughts and behaviors, meets Wednesdays at 8 p.m. at Christ Church Unity, 2301 Central Ave. Call 339-1204 and leave first name and phone number; a confidential reply is assured.

AUGUSTA TOASTMASTERS CLUB #326 meets each Thursday at 7:30 p.m. at Advent Lutheran Church in Martinez. Learn communication and leadership skills.

For more information, call 868-8431.

GUIDELINES: Public service announcements are listed in this section without charge at the discretion of the editor. Announcements must be received by Monday at noon and will be included as space permits. Send to Events, Metro Spirit, P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914 or fax (706) 733-6663. You may also e-mail listings to rhonda.jones@metrospirit.com or lisa.jordan@metrospirit.com. Listings cannot be taken over the phone.

Bomb Epic

Hollywood

Flix Must-See

Boring

Comedy Sleeper Oscar Pick Director Stars This Rocks Famous Silly

Drama

Action

Against the Ropes (PG-13) — Meg Ryan is playing an actual woman, Jackie Kallen, one of the few female fight managers to have success. Ryan goes for an urban cement voice, cynical repartee, the gal-among-guys spark and bark, and she isn't bad at it. Kallen's interesting story has been pulped, if not pulverized, as a Rocky rouser. She gets a hungry rising fighter, Luther (Omar Epps), offending the ruthless thug (Tony Shalhoub, virtually on steroids) who runs the fistic racket in and around Cleveland. She gets Luther to go for it and rise up angry and never quit — never! The big fight works up some steam, but by then the movie has gone to the flyweight division of disposable entertainments.

Cast: Meg Ryan, Omar Epps, Charles Dutton, Tony Shalhoub, Tim Daly. Running time: 1 hr., 40 mins.

(Elliott) !!

Along Came Polly (PG-13) — Ben Stiller has pungent moments of frenzy as insurance risk appraiser Reuben Feffer, panicked in the powder room of Polly (Jennifer Aniston), desperate for some paper and reduced to using her favorite new toiletry utensil. But the script could use a few extra flushes. He wants to impress Polly, ace Village gal whom Aniston sustains with her special combo of daffy-chick looseness and wisecracking sense. The movie is best when they're on-screen, fidgeting with romance. "Along Came Polly" has, by current standards of go-for-it mall comedy, regularity. You can laugh or wince or do both in sync, but you'd have to invoke the standards of a previous era to get genuinely offended by it (to be deeply amused, you'd need no standards). Cast: Ben Stiller, Jennifer Aniston,

Philip Seymour Hoffman, Alec Baldwin, Bryan Brown, Debra Messing, Hank Azaria. Running time: 1 hr., 30 mins. (Elliott) !!

Bad Santa (R) — For very jaded kids and adults already sick of the holiday season but needing a cup of bile nog. If that is you, there is amusing alienation from Billy Bob Thornton as an alcoholic thief and cranky department store Santa, Tony Cox as his rancid "elf" and Bernie Mac, Cloris Leachman and the late John Ritter, directed with zip plot but a jingle of crass flippancy by Terry "Crumb" Zwigoff. Running time: 1 hr., 33 mins. (Elliott) !!1/2

Barbershop 2: Back in Business (PG-13) — Ice Cube runs

the roots-deep Calvin Jr.'s Barbershop on Chicago's South Side. Again, more talk rises than hair falls, though the scissors team from the 2002 hit have a new worry, a slick rival across the way. The best laughs come from Cedric the Entertainer as Eddie, with a broad beam and a ‘do to match. Eddie isn't quite so rife with the riffs that won the first movie a little notoriety, but gets into a fine lip-off with the big beautician from down the street (Queen Latifah, offering an appetizer of her upcoming "Beauty Shop"). As long as it is simply being a barbershop, the gab has a razor-cut charm. Running time: 1 hr., 40 mins. (Elliott) !!1/2

Funny

Not Bad

— As Evan Treborn, Ashton Kutcher is a floppy fishie with a hook in his mouth, and that hook is the script. Seems that Evan's dad is a deranged psycho with a "most unusual" brain disorder who, during the boy's visit to the ward, tries to throttle and kill him. As Evan grows up, there are other

— To make an old (1950) Clifton Webb comedy without Clifton Webb is a serious loss, but getting Steve Martin — a vanilla-shaked version of Webb's snappish fussiness — is not a bad idea for "Cheaper by the Dozen." He's engaging as Tom Baker, football coach and father of 12 kids. Bonnie Hunt plays the wife and mom, Kate, looking awfully good despite the wear. The Bakers have a great life in a small town where Tom coaches, but he's hired to go to a bigger team outside Chicago, and the only story is the stress on the family from their move. The film is simple and obvious and plastic, but diverting. Designed to be fluff, it's fluffy all the time. Cast: Steve Martin, Bonnie Hunt, Piper Perabo, Hilary Duff, Richard Jenkins.

Running time: 1 hr., 34 mins. (Elliott) !!

Cold Mountain (R) — Sick of the

rock star, dead bodies start piling up in this spoof on the horror-movie genre. Cast: Jay Chandrasekhar, Bill Paxton, Steve Lemme, Paul Soter, Kevin Heffernan.

Brother Bear (G) — Latest Disney animated offering about a young man, Kenai, who is transformed by The Great Spirits into a bear.

On a quest to gain back his human form, Kenai befriends a bear cub, Koda, and evades his human brother, who, not realizing Kenai has been turned into a bear, is on Kenai’s trail on a revenge mission.Cast: Jeremy Suarez, Joaquin Phoenix, Rick Moranis, Dave Thomas.

“The Pa ssion of the

RATINGS !!!! — Excellent

Cheaper by the Dozen (PG)

!!!— Worthy

!! — Mixed

! — Poor

war, the wounded Confederate soldier Inman (Jude Law) trudges back home to Cold Mountain, N.C. Waiting for him, he hopes, is the woman he briefly knew, Ada (Nicole Kidman), the polished daughter of a preacher (Donald Sutherland). It's their unrequited love that draws Inman back, along with the land, and that keeps Ada going as she learns how to survive in the almost lawless country. Pushed along by old tunes that burr and rasp in the "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" mode, the movie has rhythm, but it overall feels like just one darn hard day after another. Cast: Jude Law, Nicole Kidman, Renee Zellweger, Brendan Gleeson, Natalie Portman, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Donald Sutherland, Giovanni Ribisi. Running time: 2 hrs., 21 mins. (Elliott) !!1/2

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (PG) — Teen girl Lola

overreacts when her parents decide to move from New York city to suburban New Jersey. Cast: Lindsay Lohan, Adam Garcia, Alison Pill, Glenne Headley, Carol Kane.

Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights (PG-13) — An 18-year-old Cuban

girl, schooled in ballroom dancing, meets a hotel pool boy who has a more exotic style of dancing. Together, the two enter a national dance competition, preparing in secret Havana hideaways on the eve of the country’s revolution. Cast: Diego Luna, Romola Garai.

Eurotrip (R) — Scotty ditches his German pen pal when the pal, who Scotty assumed was a male, starts hitting on him. Little does Scotty know, Mieke is a woman, and when he realizes his mistake, the only way to win her back is to travel to Europe himself and apologize. Cast: Scott Mechlowicz, Michelle Trachtenberg, Jacob Pitts, Travis Wester, Jessica Bohrs.

0— Not worthy

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

The Butterfly Effect (R)

lurid milestones. Evan has a breakthrough: Reading his old diaries, the pages quiver and this lets him mentally travel back to a past he can now change. In the middle, gulping like a caught bass, is Kutcher, aching with sincerity and technique you could call inadequate except that no technique would be adequate. The poor guy is caught, stuffed and mounted. Cast: Ashton Kutcher, Amy Smart, Elden Henson, Kevin Schmidt, Eric Stoltz, William Lee Scott.

Running time: 1 hr., 53 mins. (Elliott) !

Catch That Kid (PG) — The film is an English-language remake of a Danish kids’ movie.

12-year-old Maddy and her father are avid mountain climbers, but an accident on Mount Everest leaves Maddy’s father paralyzed. His only chance at recovery is an expensive operation, so Maddy recruits two friends to break into a bank and steal enough money to cover the expense of the surgery. Cast: Kristen Stewart, Corbin Bleu, Jennifer Beals, Sam Robards.

Broken Lizard’s Club Dread (R) — On an island resort owned by a has-been

Ch r i st”

Newmarket Films

Masterpiece

Awesome

ty Dancing : Havana r i D Nig “ Lions Gate Films hts ”

Lame

37

The Haunted Mansion (PG) — Another movie based on a ride at Disneyland, again featuring cheesy, story-altering references to the rides, as well as plots about ghosts and curses.

Eddie Murphy is a workaholic real estate agent and a smooth-talking sleazebag. A promising real-estate deal turns out to be more than he bargains for, and his eagerness to scope out a house on the way to a family vacation leaves his entire family stranded at a creepy, cobweb-ridden Louisiana mansion with a curse. The result is a movie that, while consistently amusing, plays like a hackneyed effort to stretch a few minutes of ride into a coherent, hour-and-a-half story. Running time: 1 hr., 39 mins. (Fu) !!

Honey (PG-13) — Like having the fluids drained out of your system and replaced by a sugarloaded, mixed-drink concoction of a color not found in nature. Honey Daniels (Jessica Alba) bartends, dances and teaches hip-hop dance at a youth center.

Discovered, she makes a fast splash as a musicvideo dancer and choreographer. There are jolts of energy from occasional moments of hip-hop frenzy, but the editing is so rapid-fire that what appears on the screen looks more like a video game than dance.

Will Honey remember her old pals in the 'hood? Why, yes. First "Radio," now this; uplift has never seemed so enervating. Running time: 1 hr., 28 mins. (Salm) !1/2

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (PG-13) — lasts 200 minutes, and some of those are long minutes. The last 20 can feel like an hour, for clearly creator Peter Jackson didn't wish to let his saga go.

Bernard Hill, Viggo Mortensen and Orlando Bloom are impressive fighters, and Cate Blanchett makes a gorgeous Galadriel. This is posing, not acting. Sir Ian McKellen acts very well as noble Gandalf, but lines about heart, courage and fate make him Lord Fortune Cookie. "Lord" is all epic, all the time. Jackson loves battles, which means hurling dense masses of mostly computerized fighters at one another. If the climax battle this time is more overpowering than the Helm's Deep boggler in "Two Towers," does it truly deepen the story? Maybe it is just more spectacle, as climaxes are stacked high and then the epic winds down with Elijah Wood as Frodo (now mildly matured) exiting sweetly, his destiny done.

Cast: Ian McKellen, Elijah Wood, Cate Blanchett, Viggo Mortensen, Ian Holm, Orlando Bloom, Sean Astin.

Running time: 3 hrs., 20 mins. !!

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004 38

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (R) —

Welcome to Mooseport (PG-13) — Browse at the hardware store run

by nice, nervous Handy Harrison (Ray Romano), who also does plumbing. And over at the best house in town toss a happy howdy at retired President Monroe Eagle Cole (Gene Hackman), a Mount Rushmore unto himself, still glowing as "the most popular president in our history." Sorta bored and restless, Eagle lets himself get roped into running for mayor. So does Handy. This distracts the easily addled Handy from his never having asked adorable Sally (Maura Tierney) to marry him, and Eagle gets to exercise his celebrity while trying to evade his rapacious ex-wife (Christine Baranski). At its best, the film is cute; when it isn't, it seems like a blank screen. Cast: Gene Hackman, Ray Romano, Marcia Gay Harden, Christine Baranski, Maura Tierney, Rip Torn, Fred Savage.

Running time: 1 hr., 40 mins. (Elliott) !!

You Got Served (PG-13) — Elgin and David are best friends who are serious about their hobby: urban street dancing. When another town’s top group challenges them to a dancing competition, the boys must create new, cutting-edge moves to stay in the game. Cast: Marques Houston, Omari Grandberry, Jennifer Freeman, Jarrell Houston, Dreux Frederic.

—Capsules compiled from movie reviews writ ten by David Elliot t, film critic for The San Diego UnionTribune and other staf f writers.

It’s a remake of the original film and based loosely on true events that inspired that film and “The Silence of the

controversial film about the last 12 hours in the life of Jesus. Cast: James Caviezel, Maia Morgenstern, Monica Bellucci, Mattia Sbragia.

Paycheck (PG-13) — Ben Affleck is

25% OFF

• Custom Picture Framing 25% OFF on the frame Over 600 Moldings to Select From • All ready made frames 25% to 50% OFF • CARR™ & BURNS Photo Frames 25% to 50% OFF

LUNCH SPECIAL Soup & Sandwich Combo $6.95

• Framed and unframed pictures 25% to 50% OFF New Selection Just Arrived • Needlework Blocked 25% OFF When Framed by our Experts

LUNCH Mon-Fri 11:30-2:30

Fairway Square 2833 Washington Rd. 736-3396

Lambs.” A group of friends becomes isolated in the midst of a clan of cannibals. Cast: Jessica Biel, Jonathan Tucker, Eric Balfour, Erica Leerhsen.

Twisted (R) — Ashley Judd stars as a detective with exceptional skills in profiling murderers. Her skills are put to the test, however, when a killer may be someone she knows — and may also be coming after her. Cast: Ashley Judd, Samuel L. Jackson, Andy Garcia, D.W. Moffett, Mark Pellegrino.

The Passion of the Christ (R) — “The Passion of the Christ” is Mel Gibson’s

Love Don’t Cost a Thing (PG-13) — “Love Don’t Cost a Thing” is a

Fantastic Framing Sale

a computer genius who gets his memory wiped after a secret, three-year project, then finds himself cheated of the $92 million payoff from creepy CEO Aaron Eckhart. But Ben left behind a kit of clues, and he's put them together, despite the big memory lapse. He even got a state lottery payoff for himself to compensate for the lost loot. And try to believe in Uma Thurman as tag-along Rachel, trying to insert some emotions between the clacking wheels of plot. At times, you may believe the script's memory has been evaporated. If whole pages are gone, or hurled together in a lottery numbers bin, would we much notice, or care? Cast: Ben Affleck, Uma Thurman, Aaron Eckhart, Paul Giamatti. Running time: 1 hr. 50 min. (Elliott) !1/2 Peter Pan (PG) — P.J. Hogan's film is like a cyberized revamp of Disney, but everything is brighter, fuller, glitzier, with live actors and lots of matted effects. Capt. Hook's pirate ship is a virtual theme park awaiting customers. The feared crocodile seems to be from some Jurassic park. Clouds are so pink and cotton-candied you expect Peter and the others to get stuck in them. The magic can get a little ballistic. It's a remarkably sensual film. The action scenes are amusingly zestful, Peter is adorable but not too cute, the pirates are a spry bunch of uglies, but it's the characters connecting emotionally that makes "Peter Pan" fly. For kids, the movie is a sure thing. Cast: Jason Isaacs, Jeremy Sumpter, Rachel Hurd-Wood, Lynn Redgrave, Olivia Williams, Richard Briars. Running time: 1 hr., 32 mins. (Elliott) !!!

Scary Movie 3 (PG-13) — The third film in the “Scary Movie” series once again spoofs a series of recent horror hits, fantasy epic films and other pop culture sensations, including “8 Mile,” “The Matrix,” “The Ring,” “The Others” and “Signs.” Cast: David Zucker, Anna Faris, Charlie Sheen, Regina Hall, Denise Richards.

Paramount Pictures

(Adam Sandler) is a vet at an aquarium in Hawaii and a serial seducer of island visitors, his policy being love 'em and let 'em leave. True love, of course, lies in wait. At a picturesque diner, he sees Lucy (Drew Barrymore), and it's love at first sight. They hit it off wonderfully, but when they meet at the diner the next morning, she has no idea who he is. Henry learns that Lucy, following an accident the year before, has that favorite Hollywood malady, amnesia. The romantic aspects benefit from being contrasted to the comedy, which is oafish in the extreme. Oh, well — you can always look at the beautiful island scenery. Cast: Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore. (Britton) !!

The Fog of War (PG-13) — This documentary directed by Errol Morris takes a look at the life of Robert S. McNamara. Running time: 1 hr., 46 mins.

sted” “Twi

remake of the 1987 teen comedy “Can’t Buy Me Love.” An unpopular geek blackmails a cheerleader into posing as his girlfriend in an attempt to improve his reputation. Cast: Nick Cannon, Christina Milian, Vanessa Bell Calloway, Kal Penn, Steve Harvey, Kenan Thompson.

Miracle (PG) — Kurt Russell has a topper role as a real hero, Coach Herb Brooks. Russell doesn't just play him as a hero, as an iron profile next to a waving flag. Brooks coached the U.S. hockey team at the 1980 Winter Olympics, achieving a tremendous upset over a Soviet team of older players that had ruled and terrified Olympic hockey since 1960.

Russell plays Brooks as a driven man not easily distracted. Being ordained, the movie is clichéd. It has to go through the frets and sweats and bonding and drills, then hit high at the Olympics, so it does. But what a game it was. Not to be moved is to show adrenaline deficiency. Brooks' "miracle" team thrilled a sullen America and impressed the world. Cast: Kurt Russell, Patricia Clarkson, Noah Emmerich, Eddie Cahill, Michael Mantenuto. Running time: 1 hr., 40 mins. (Elliott) !!!

The Missing (R) — Cate Blanchett is again superb, as a flinty frontier mom who rides hard across 1870s New Mexico, chasing a mostly Apache band that took her daughter, slowly making up with her long absent and "gone Injun" father (Tommy Lee Jones). Ron Howard directed with a true eye for detail and landscape, Eric Schweig is an alarmingly vicious sorcerer, the brutality is frequent and not for tender viewers. Running time: 2 hrs., 10 mins. (Elliott) !!!

Monster (R) — To play Florida serial killer (of seven men) Aileen Wuornos, Charlize Theron did a monstrous job on herself: extra pounds, ratty hair, facial beauty slumping into a slum except for the rare, radiant smile. It's one of those bravely mutative performances that win laurels and make critics lose their marbles, but it lacks the truly risky daring of Daniel Day Lewis in "My Left Foot" or Robert De Niro in "Raging Bull" because director-writer Patty Jenkins has simplified Wuornos' story (already much documented) into the tragic fall of a soulful loser. Her total victimization becomes a beastly cry of protest against men and society. The wretched pulp as she kills men who are usually just barely human is pulverizing. Theron is affecting, and Christina Ricci is terrific as a childish depressive who bonds to Aileen like a giddy little leech. 1 hr., 53 mins. (Elliott) !!1/2 Mystic River (R) — Clint Eastwood (directing) and writer Brian Helgeland heap loads of emotional freight on a slow, solemn barge of plot. Its core is a police case (Kevin Bacon, Laurence Fishburne fine as the detectives) about a murder haunted by a past crime. Sean Penn does furious brooding and manly weeping as a dead girl's father, Tim Robbins is a haunted wreck as an abuse victim, Laura Linney and Marcia Gay Harden are sidelined.

From its portentous title to its Boston Irish pride parade, the film aches for greatness and achieves high TV drama; the case wrap-up is rushed and fishy.

Running time: 2 hrs., 20 mins. (Elliott) !!

50 First Dates (PG-13) — Henry

Evans Towne Center Washington Rd. • 855-7125 (Across from Fat Man’s West)

DINNER Thur-Sat 6-until 1032 Broad St 706-303-CHOW

Shrimp or Oyster Po’ Boy Roast Beef Sandwich w/ Au Jus Cajun Chicken Po’ Boy Shrimp Salad BBQ Pork w/ Grilled Onions Salad Specials, Too

CHOW

flix

Meg Ryan Takes on Another Risky Role in “Ropes”

By Joey Berlin

N

It’s Time for

$22 Weekday

rates includes cart

$29 Weekend rates includes cart

Golf The Patch

Call for Tee Times 2023 HIGHLAND AVENUE ! AUGUSTA GA 30904 ! 706- 731- 9344

over and we watched tapes and tapes of fights. We went to boxing matches and I read a lot about boxing.

Q: What did Jackie help you to understand about boxing?

A: There’s something so pure about that sport, something so unadulterated about what happens in the ring — as opposed to what happens in the immediate vicinity of the ring, the world of boxing. I was really taken with that. There are no helmets, there are no masks, there’s no ball, there’s no goal way over there. There are just these two guys honestly in there in the fiercest kind of competition. I couldn’t help but appreciate that kind of purity. When I went to some of these matches, I understood that there’s a real release that happens for the audience as well.

It’s not a mistake that there are great writers who write about boxing, because there is a lot of poetry in it.

Q: Why did you do such extensive research for this role?

A: It’s so cool to be an actor, if you’re a curious person. I mean, boxing is a world I never would’ve investigated, I’m positive about that. But I’m really happy that I did. I found a lot of parallels between the boxing world and Hollywood, in how they treat women. They’re both very happy to underestimate and label you because you look a certain way.

Q: So did you begin to see the boxing world as a metaphor for Hollywood, because you have to keep getting back up after being beaten down?

A: Yeah, there’s this unnameable something that some people have, I don’t know what it is. But you’re right, the boxing metaphors are so perfect, like, you get knocked down. You get a low blow. You’re down for the count.

Hit me with your best shot!

ADVERTISING SALES Metro Spirit seeks experienced sales people with qualified sales experience to sell display advertising. Excellent earnings, growth opportunity, and benefits.

RESUME & COVER LETTER Advertising Sales c/o Metro Spirit P.O. Box 3809 Augusta, GA 30914

706.738.1142

ALL REPLIES CONFIDENTIAL

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

ow 42, Meg Ryan has entered what is typically a treacherous time for an actress. But she has fearlessly made it especially challenging. Great roles for middle-aged women are scarce and many former A-listers have sadly had to lower their expectations as they matured.

Ryan, on the other hand, has responded by undertaking risky parts that play havoc with her image as America’s neurotic but lovable sweetheart.

Ryan gave a bold performance in her previous film, the sexy police thriller “In the Cut.” Now, starring in “Against the Ropes,” she strides into the macho world of boxing. Ryan plays a brassy character modeled after Jackie Kallen, who is a true-life rarity, a successful female boxing manager.

Directed by Charles S. Dutton, “Against the Ropes” co-stars Omar Epps as a raw young thug Ryan shapes into a contender.

On the personal front, Ryan is probably relieved that she’s no longer daily tabloid fodder. She has moved on in the few years since her decade-long marriage to actor Dennis Quaid crumbled spectacularly following her much-publicized romance with Russell Crowe. Whether she ever returns to light romantic comedy is anybody’s guess.

Q: You met with Jackie Kallen several times for “Against the Ropes.” How long does it take to get over the fact that you are playing a person who is right in front of you?

A: You never get over it. It was so strange, but it was great. I mean, it was amazing because obviously, Jackie is the ultimate resource about herself and she was incredibly generous with her time. Jackie would let me tape record while we talked at lunch. And then she actually recorded the script a couple of times so that I could just listen to her Rs and As and all of her voice’s different sounds.

It was really fun.

Q: Earlier in your career, did you ever get a little swept away by the media attention, the way this character does?

A: Yeah. It’s crazy, but one of the cool things about playing this character was that it was sort of healing, in a way, for me. People all have different reactions to getting the spotlight shown on them. I had the absolute opposite reaction to the spotlight that Jackie did. If I could’ve faded into the woodwork, I would have. But Jackie didn’t just have an intellectual understanding that you can have all kinds of experiences with fame. She knew how to be in it and think, “Yeah, bring it on! Shine the light, look at me!” To be in those shoes was a very healing experience for me.

Q: How much did you already know about boxing, and what made you want to act in a sports drama?

A: I didn’t know anything about it at all!

Sports drama, to me, is when you understand personally what these triumphs and tragedies and victories represent to an individual’s journey. So that was part of my way in, and Jackie was incredible. She came

39

flix

reel time REGAL AUGUSTA EXCHANGE 20

Movies Good 2/27 –3/4 The Passion of the Christ (R) Fri: 12:00,

12:45, 1:15, 1:45, 3:30, 3:50, 4:20, 4:50, 6:40, 7:20, 7:50, 9:40, 10:10, 10:30, 10:50; Sat: 12:45, 1:15, 1:45, 3:50, 4:20, 4:50, 6:40, 7:20, 7:50, 9:40, 10:10, 10:30, 10:50; Sun: 12:00, 12:45, 1:15, 1:45, 3:50, 4:20, 4:50, 6:40, 7:20, 7:50, 9:40, 10:10, 10:30, 10:50; Mon: 12:00, 12:45, 1:15, 1:45, 3:30, 3:50, 4:20, 4:50, 6:40, 7:20, 7:50, 9:40, 10:10, 10:30, 10:50; Tues: 12:45, 1:15, 1:45, 3:30, 3:50, 4:20, 4:50, 6:40, 7:00, 7:20, 7:50, 9:40, 10:10, 10:30, 10:50; Wed-Thur: 12:00, 12:45, 1:15, 1:45, 3:30, 3:50, 4:20, 4:50, 6:40, 7:00, 7:20, 7:50, 9:40 10:10 10:30, 10:50 Broken Lizard’s Club Dread (R) Fri-Thur: 12:30, 3:00, 5:25, 8:00, 10:35 Havana Nights (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 1:05, 3:20, 5:30, 8:10, 10:20, 12:30; Sun-Thur: 1:05, 3:20, 5:30, 8:10, 10:20 Fog of War (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 11:55, 2:10, 4:30, 6:50, 9:10, 11:30; Sun-Thur: 11:55, 2:10, 4:30, 6:50, 9:10 Twisted (R) Fri-Sat: 12:20, 2:50, 5:10, 7:35, 9:55, 12:20; Sun-Thur: 12:20, 2:50, 5:10, 7:35, 9:55 Against the Ropes (PG-13) Fri-Thur: 12:10, 2:45, 5:25, 8:05, 10:45

EVANS 14 CINEMAS

Movies Good 2/27 - 3/4 Twisted (R) Fri-Sun: 1:10, 3:20, 5:30, 7:50, 10:00; Mon-Thur: 5:30, 7:50, 10:00 Broken Lizard’s Club Dread (R) Fri-Sun: 1:20, 4:20, 6:45, 9:15; Mon-Thur: 4:20, 6:45, 9:15 Havana Nights (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 1:40, 3:40, 5:40, 7:40, 9:40; Mon-Thur: 5:40, 7:40, 9:40 Passion of the Christ (R) Fri-Sun: 1:00, 2:00, 4:00, 5:00, 7:00, 8:00, 9:45; Mon-Thur: 4:00, 5:00, 7:00, 8:00, 9:45 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (PG) Fri-Sun: 12:45, 2:50, 5:10, 7:15, 9:20;

Mon-Thur: 5:10, 7:15, 9:20

Eurotrip (R) Fri-Sun: 12:50, 3:00, 5:20, 7:30,

9:50; Mon-Thur: 5:20, 7:30, 9:50

Welcome to Mooseport (PG-13) Fri-Sun:

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (PG) Fri-Sat: 12:40, 2:55, 5:15, 7:30, 9:45,

2:20, 4:40, 7:10, 9:30; Mon-Thur: 4:40, 7:10, 9:30 50 First Dates (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 1:05, 3:15, 5:25, 7:45, 9:55; Mon-Thur: 5:25, 7:45, 9:55 Miracle (PG) Fri-Sun: 12:55, 3:50, 6:50, 9:40; Mon-Thur: 3:55, 6:50, 9:40 Barbershop 2 (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 2:10, 4:30, 7:20, 10:00; Mon-Thur: 4:30, 7:20, 10:00 Monster (R) Fri-Sun: 1:50, 4:10, 6:40, 9:00; Mon-Thur: 4:10, 6:40, 9:00 You Got Served (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 1:35, 3:35, 5:35, 7:35, 9:35; Mon-Thur: 5:35, 7:35, 9:35 Cold Mountain (R) Fri-Sun: 1:30, 4:50, 8:15; Mon-Tues: 4:50, 8:15

Eurotrip (R) Fri-Sat: 12:50, 3:05, 5:20, 7:40,

MASTERS 7 CINEMAS

12:00; Sun-Thur: 12:40, 2:55, 5:15, 7:30, 9:45

10:00, 12:15; Sun-Thur: 12:50, 3:05, 5:20, 7:40, 10:00 Welcome to Mooseport (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 1:55, 4:35, 7:10, 9:45, 12:15; Sun-Thur: 1:55, 4:35, 7:10, 9:45 50 First Dates (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 1:35, 4:00, 7:15, 9:35, 12:05; Sun-Thur: 1:35, 4:00, 7:15, 9:35 Barbershop 2 (PG-13) Fri-Thur: 12:15, 2:50, 5:15, 7:45, 10:25 Catch That Kid (PG) Fri-Thur: 11:55, 2:05, 4:25 Miracle (PG) Fri-Thur: 1:00, 4:05, 7:05, 10:05 You Got Served (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:15, 2:45, 5:00, 7:15, 9:30, 11:50; Sun-Thur: 12:15, 2:45, 5:00, 7:15, 9:30 The Butterfly Effect (R) Fri-Thur: 2:00, 4:40, 7:55, 10:40 Mystic River (R) Fri-Thur: 12:35, 3:40, 6:45, 9:50 Cold Mountain (R) Fri-Thur: 6:55, 10:15 Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (PG-13) Fri-Thur: 12:05, 4:10, 8:15

Showtimes for Masters 7 Cinemas were not available at press time. Check www.metrospirit.com for showtimes as they become available.

REGAL 12 CINEMAS

Movies Good 2/27 – 3/4 Along Came Polly (PG-13) 2:40, 5:00, 7:45,

9:55

Bad Santa (R) 2:35, 4:55, 7:40, 9:50 Brother Bear (G) 2:10, 4:15, 7:20, 9:15 Cheaper by the Dozen (PG) 2:05, 4:35, 7:15,

9:30

Gothika (R) 2:25, 4:45, 7:30, 9:40 Haunted Mansion (PG) 2:10, 4:20, 7:10,

9:20

Honey (PG-13) 2:30, 4:50, 7:35, 9:45 Love Don’t Cost a Thing (PG-13) 2:15, 4:30,

7:05, 9:20

Paycheck (PG-13) 2:00, 4:30, 7:00, 9:30 Peter Pan (PG) 2:00, 4:25, 7:00, 9:25 Scary Movie 3 (PG-13) 2:45, 5:05, 7:50,

9:55

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (R) 2:20, 4:40,

7:25, 9:35

M O V I E L I S T I N G S A R E S U B J E C T C H A N G E W I T H O U T N O T I C E .

T O

Broken Lizard Comedy Troupe at It Again in “Club Dread”

By Rachel Deahl

K

nown for their talent at inserting sketch comedy into a narrative structure, the five-person comedy troupe known as Broken Lizard has made a name for themselves with such cult films as “Puddle Cruiser” and “Super Troopers.” Never heard of them?

Well, fear not, because you can see the irreverent group on screen now in “Club Dread,” an enjoyable spoof of slasher films and MTV spring break marathons.

Club Dread, an island paradise designed for hedonistic spring breakers, is the locale for Broken Lizard’s latest black comedy. Run by an aging rocker named Coconut Pete (Bill Paxton), the resort is dominated by Pete’s “life is a party” mantra. Too drunk to see anything beyond the bikini-clad 20-somethings who arrive on shore, Pete now trades on his waning celebrity after a career of writing songs about Pina Coladas and panties. But when a serial killer shows up on the island and starts decapitating the staff, the party comes to a halt … sort of.

As the staff members scramble to stay alive and keep up the façade that everything is OK (so as not to frighten the guests), the suspicion mounts about who the masked man with the machete might be. Is it Lars (Kevin Heffernan), the new massage therapist with Vulcan-like powers of the hands? Or Juan (Steve Lemme), the dashing Latin diving instructor who’s slept with most of the staff and guests?

What about Putnam (Jay Chandrasekhar), the self-absorbed English tennis instructor who’s obsessed with the staff fitness instructor, Jenny (Brittany Daniel).

Written by, and starring, the five members of Broken Lizard — Heffernan, Lemme, Chandrasekhar, Paul Soter and Erik Stolhanske — the film was shot to

40

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

Be sure to bookmark our new web address! www.metrospirit.com

KEVIN HEFFERNAN AND BILL PAXTON

look like a C-grade horror flick you might catch on Cinemax after hours. That said, “Club Dread” features some unexpectedly wonderful and sly commentary on, well, bad movies and horny teenagers.

Although he isn’t featured prominently enough, Paxton’s Coconut Pete is the best running joke in the film. As the boozed-up host who sings his guests old hits about cheeseburgers in paradise, Paxton is a perfect Jimmy Buffet foil. If frisky teenagers usually get the ax in horror flicks — and plenty of frisky islanders see the same fate here — it seems just as appropriate that a serial killer be let loose on an island full of Parrotheads. After all, what’s a more unforgivable trespass than listening to “Margaritaville” over and over again?

In one of the funnier scenes in the film, Paxton tries to teach his remaining cooking staff — two Mexicans — how to make his signature jambalaya. The men, who speak no English, look on as a crazed Coconut Pete asks them to say what the secret ingredient might be.

After the men look on in silence, Pete yells, “Do you think Eddie Money has to put up with this s***?”

Although it’s not quite as entertaining or irreverent, “Club Dread” is slightly reminiscent of “Wet Hot American Summer,” the underrated and under-seen 2001 sendup of ‘80s camp films. Like “Wet Hot American Summer,” which created hilarious stereotypes of all those offbeat characters you remember from summers away from home, “Club Dread” does almost as well with its take on hardbodied MTVtypes. Mocking the decadence and stupidity of spring break (and all that comes with it) while celebrating it, the Broken Lizard troupe’s comedy is ideal for anyone who, like me, has winced at MTV without ever turning it off.

MUSIC Country Outlaw Heads to Augusta

By Lisa Jordan

N

ot many musicians can claim a five-decade career and over 100 albums to their name.

One of the few who can, however, is country icon Willie Nelson.

Nelson, born in Fort Worth, Texas, in 1933, learned to play the guitar as a child, performing for audiences up through high school. He took a job as a local DJ after a stint in the military and exposed audiences to his independently released 1956 single, “Lumberjack.”

Nelson relocated to Nashville in 1960, where he landed a deal writing songs for Pamper Records. The gig was facilitated by Hank Cochran, another songwriter on Pamper’s rolls who Nelson met at Tootsie’s Orchid Lounge, a popular hangout for songwriters, musicians and the occasional Grand ‘Ole Opry star. At Pamper, Nelson penned Faron Young’s No. 1 hit “Hello Walls,” Patsy Cline’s legendary “Crazy” and Billy Walker’s “Funny How Time Slips Away.”

Nelson also began cutting his own records, capitalizing on his conversational brand of phrasing that, at the time, traditional-leaning Nashville just wasn’t ready for. Discouraged, Nelson headed back to Texas to redefine his music. The result was 1973’s “Shotgun Willie.” Two years later, “Red-Headed Stranger” earned Nelson his first hit and cemented his status as a country music outlaw.

As the ‘70s drew to a close, Nelson tried his hand at acting with parts in “The Electric Horseman” and “Honeysuckle Rose,” the film for which “On the Road Again” was recorded.

The 1980s saw Nelson record with Kris Kristofferson, Waylon Jennings

and Johnny Cash, who together dubbed themselves The Highwaymen, as well as recording a surprising duet with Julio Iglesias, “To All the Girls I’ve Loved Before.” Nelson also founded Farm Aid with Neil Young and John Mellencamp

in 1985. To date, the charity has raised over $17 million for farm organizations, churches and service agencies in rural America. During the same decade, Nelson’s well-documented troubles with the IRS began; a $6 million settle-

Who: Willie Nelson Where: Augusta-Richmond County Civic Center When: Feb. 28, 8 p.m.

Price: $35 For info: 722-3521

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

NELSON ALSO BEGAN CUTTING HIS OWN RECORDS, CAPITALIZING ON HIS CONVERSATIONAL BRAND OF PHRASING THAT, AT THE TIME, TRADITIONAL-LEANING NASHVILLE JUST WASN’T READY FOR.

ment was reached in 1990.

In 1993, Nelson was inducted to the Country Music Hall of Fame. He continues to record and experiment with different styles and sounds, as well as tour the country.

41

music

FIRST FRIDAY MARCH 5

“PLAYBACK” Gomes Experiments With Traditional Blues FEATURING TUTU D’VYNE

HAPPY HOUR 5-7 $ 2 WELL $ 50 1 DOMESTICS

SATURDAY MARCH 6 TONY WILLIAMS BAND Call to reserve your table

706-722-7306 • 724 Broad Street (Formerly Word of Mouth Cafe)

Home of the Rhes Reeves Band Wednesday Drink & Drown and The Venus Swim-Wear Model Search Thursday It’s Ladies Night - Pay your cover and the drinks are on us. Guys - We have $1.00 Draft and $2.00 Domestics and $ 50 2. Jose Shots for you.

Friday & Saturday Happy Hour from 7-9 with 2-4-1 Drinks and $1.00 Draft.

Party with Augusta’s Best Live Band “The Rhes Reeves Band” with Shelley Watkins Celebrate Coyotes 3rd Birthday, Thursday, March 4th with a Complimentary Buffet and $1.25 Drinks for everyone from 7-10 and a Balloon Drop at Midnight.

42

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

Friday, March 5th Rodney Atkins Don’t miss country’s hottest new-comer 9:00 PM. Tickets are $8.00 in advance, $ 10.00 at the door.

Call 560-9245 for more information.

By Lisa Jordan

T

oronto, Canada, isn’t the first place that comes to mind when someone mentions the blues. But Toronto native Anthony Gomes is a blues musician of a different breed, fusing blues with funk, soul, gospel and country.

He got his start in Canadian nightclubs, shopping around the idea of a blues band to reluctant club owners by replacing the names of traditional blues artists with ZZ Top and Eric Clapton on his song lists — and then he’d perform the traditional blues songs once he got onstage. Gomes relocated to Chicago in 1996 after receiving his masters degree from the University of Toronto.

In Chicago, Gomes and his band won the Buddy Guy’s Legends Best Unsigned Blues Band competition in 1998, the same year Gomes’ debut album, “Blues in Technicolor,” was released on Urban Electric Records.

“Blues in Technicolor” features Gomes’ signature husky vocal delivery and intricate guitar work. On songs like “Love’s Got the Power,” Gomes’ energy shines through, backed with gospel-infused vocals.

Gomes’ 2000 release, “Sweet Stringin’ Soul,” also on the Urban Electric label, is an acoustic album. It’s a move he made despite the popular sentiment of those around him that acoustic albums are often commercial suicide. “Sweet Stringin’ Soul” found

an audience, however, even though it was a steep departure from the wailing blues sound of “Blues in Technicolor.”

With Gomes’ latest, “Unity,” released in 2002 on 33rd Street Records, the musician once again expands his sound, experimenting with straight-up blues/rock and funk. The first cut on the album, “When the Walls Come Down,” screams with a Jimi Hendrixlike vibe and a fuller sound than heard on Gomes’ previous albums. “Do Watcha Do” rocks out in a similar vein, and “Upside (to the Downside)” captures the essence of funk.

“Unity” is the result of a loose studio arrangement whereby Gomes and a host of session musicians recorded over the course of just a few weeks. It was produced by Jim Gaines, who has worked with Santana, the Steve Miller Band and Tower of Power.

The key to Gomes’ sound, it seems, is to keep things fresh. He’s an artist who isn’t afraid to try something new and infuse it with the Gomes signatures that make a song his own.

Gomes is currently touring the United States and Canada, fresh off the 2004 Blues Cruise, a weeklong chartered cruise of the eastern Caribbean. Gomes delivered one of over 48 live performances, all-night jam sessions and musical workshops alongside such musicians as Taj Mahal, Little Milton, Susan Tedeschi, the Derek Trucks Band and Doug MacLeod.

Who Anthony Gomes

Where Blind Pig blues club, 1251 Broad St.

When

COYOTE’S

“Where Variety is the Spice of Life”

2512 PEACH ORCHARD ROAD

706-560-9245

March 6

For Info 722-7335 or www.blindpigblues.com

music

AUDITIONS!

AUDITIONS! AUDITIONS!

The Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre announces auditions for a terrific new comedy!

The Fairfield Four Kicks Off Southern Soul and Song Gospel Series

By Lisa Jordan

SECOND SAMUEL, a wonderful comedy with a special message by two time

Pulitzer Prize nominee, Pamela Parker Audition dates: March 8 and 9, 7:30 PM at the Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre.

Production dates are May 7, 8, 14, 15, 20, 21, 22. Parts for 7 men and 4 women, ages 21-60+.

Auditions and performances are open to the public. All interested members of the community are encouraged to participate.

Set in the late 1940's, the inhabitants of this sleepy southern town prepare for the funeral of one of their most beloved citizens. But their serenity is suddenly shattered when dark secrets are revealed and the citizens of SECOND SAMUEL are in for a summer no one will ever forget!

You must bring your photo ID to enter Ft Gordon.

Please call 791-4389 with any questions, or email walperts@gordon.army.mil The Characters B Flat - B Flat is the heart and soul of the play and of the town. The actor playing this part must be able to convince the audience that he is mentally handicapped-while performing pages of monologue, imitating town folk and showing the simple wisdom he possesses. The audience must love and identify with him Frisky - He is the best good ole' boy you'll ever meet. Frisky owns the local watering hole and is the unofficial leader of the town. To be best friends with a black man during the 1940's in the rural south shows a strength and goodness that we can only imagine today. He and Omaha are married.

U.S. - He is a black man raised in the south by a white well-to-do family. He is a little better educated than his peers, but still speaks with a dialect. Because of his relationship with Frisky he can say and do some things that his peers would not be allowed.

Mansel - He is not a drunk, but he does like to have a beer or two. Mansel tends to get into trouble. He is a silly harmless redneck. He is good looking or has a quality about him, which is why Marcela puts up with him.

F

Festival. A 1992 recording, “Standing in the Safety Zone,” was nominated for a Grammy. Other accomplishments include a Governor’s Award in the Arts for lifetime achievement, a Nashville Music Award for lifetime achievement and the James Cleveland Award.

The current lineup is composed of James Hill and Isaac Freeman, with the group since 1949, as well as Wilson Walters, Robert Hamlett and Joseph Rice.

The Fairfield Four performs in Augusta March 6 as the first in the Southern Soul and Song Gospel Series, a concert series produced by the Morris Museum of Art and the Imperial Theatre. The Paine College Choir will also perform. Tickets may be purchased for the individual show for $20; tickets for the entire threepart series are $60. Proceeds benefit the Morris Museum of Art’s public program initiatives and the Imperial Theatre’s capital improvements fund.

Call 722-8341 or visit www.imperialtheatre.com for tickets.

The other shows in the series are Blue Highway and Ralph Stanley and the Clinch Mountain Boys March 21, and Flo Carter and her family band and Doyle Lawson and Quicksilver March 28.

Omaha - She is cute and stylish. Omaha is the "boss" on the women's side and runs a tight ship.

Jimmy Deeanne - Pretty and thoughtless, Jimmy Deeanne is a beauty queen and a bitch, but has a lovely singing voice.

Ruby - Sweet and plain, Ruby works at the hair salon. She is quiet and knows her place as an underling. Coming from this position, she makes a 180-degree turn when she smacks jimmy Deeanne.

Marcella - She is good-natured, hard working country woman. Most of the trials of her life come from being married to Mansel, but she loves him.

DOC - Doc is one of the town's leaders. He is one of the few people in town who has gone to college. He knows everybody's secrets but because he is a gentleman, he ain't telling.

June - The town's undertaker. He's a little prissy and absentminded.

AUGUSTA’S ONLY KARAOKE BAR!

Karaoke

6a week! nights

MONDAY NIGHT F&B and Military Discount Night

8pm - Close

Greene Streets Karaoke Bar

43

Corner of Greene & 11th Street • 823-2002 Mon-Fri 3pm-3am • Sat 6pm-2am

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

ew musical groups can trace their roots back to the 1920s but the Fairfield Four still carries on their original gospel music tradition (though with a different lineup, of course).

The Fairfield Four formed in 1921 with a group of young men culled from a Sunday school class from Fairfield Baptist Church in Nashville. The gospel a capella group performed around the Nashville area during the 1930s, getting a boost from radio play on local station WSIX. The Fairfield Four recorded in 1941 for the Library of Congress, and the group won a promotional contest in 1942. The prize was a spot on radio station WLAC, which had a national affiliation with CBS. Their WLAC spot earned The Fairfield Four national acclaim and airplay on the station for nearly a decade.

During that time period, the group widened their audience and recorded over 100 albums. After a disagreement, the group disbanded in 1946.

In 1980, gospel and blues music collector Doug Seroff organized a quartet reunion concert in Birmingham, Ala., and members of The Fairfield Four performed there. After that, the group continued to sing together for events like the centennial celebration of Carnegie Hall, the New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival, The Smithsonian Institution’s Festival of American Folk Life and the Lincoln Center Folk and Heritage

Mr Mozel - The town bigot. He represents the dark side of people. Because of his age (60 or up) he is somewhat benign, but not completely.

Thurs - The Final Surrey Tavern Appearance of

music by turner

THE BIG MIGHTY

F

Soul Dimensions

Tues Wed Pat & Adam

The Pat Blanchard Band

Surrey Tavern 471 Highland Ave. | 736-1221 Open Mon-Sat at 4 pm until

10 Specialty Pies 15 Monumental Hoagies 7 Scrumptious Salads 4 Spring Water Calzones

PLUS Parmesan Pretzels Full Bar Open 7 Days a Week Lunch & Dinner

44

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

PIZZA BAKERS OPEN MIC MONDAY NIGHTS LIVE MUSIC EVERY WEDNESDAY NIGHT 8:00 - 11:00PM Corner of 12th & Broad :::: Downtown Augusta :::: 828-5578

The Next Train? Dept.

L.A. rockers MAROON 5 have been quite busy opening for JOHN MAYER’s very successful current U.S. tour.

However, as their single “This Love” continues to climb the charts, the band should find themselves headlining very soon. Their self-titled debut disc was issued way back in 2002 and is rapidly finding fans everywhere. Singer ADAM LEVINE’s sweet, STING-like tenor is one of the strong suits of a disc full of melody, harmonies and irresistible rhythms. Last week’s appearance on “Saturday Night Live” should really kick-start the band and deservedly so as Maroon 5 (as with JET and STEADMAN) proves that power pop is alive and well in 2004. There’s good news for local fans — The group is taking a break from the Mayer tour to visit the Georgia Theater in Athens March 2. Even VINCE DOOLEY should have a tough time getting tix for this one.

Hit the road, DAVE. Warmer weather is just around the bend, so major concert tours are being announced every week. The DAVE MATTHEWS BAND has a 48-date trek around the sheds and auditoriums of the U.S. in support of Matthews’ solo disc, “Some Devil.”

This summer, the band has two important Southern dates lined up — July 24 at Charlotte’s Verizon and three nights later at Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheater in Atlanta. Dave and his band might even have a new disc to promote on this upcoming tour, as they are entering the studio soon.

Good News, Bad News Dept.

Hey, what’s wrong with this picture?

VAN MORRISON is visiting the states this spring, which is great news for fans of the fiery Irish singer. The only problem is that he’s playing only five dates, including New York,

B Y

E D

Minneapolis, Chicago, Boston and San Francisco. Maybe it’s time for Van’s fans to cash in those frequent-flyer miles.

NORAH JONES’ second disc, “Feels Like Home,” sold over a whopping one million copies in its first week of release in the U.S. Don’t be too surprised to find that her new disc eventually outsells her Grammy Award-winning debut, “Come Away With Me,” which has already moved over eight million copies in the U.S. alone.

Norah’s next tour takes her to Europe in April.

There’s finally a release date scheduled for the oft-delayed first offering from VELVET REVOLVER. The supergroup, consisting of ex-GUNS N’ ROSES members DUFF MCKAGAN, MATT SORUM and SLASH, along with rehab junkie SCOTT WEILAND, has completed work on “Contraband,” due May 18.

“Slither,” the album’s first single, will hit radio next month.

Turner’s Quick Notes Peaches in Regalia Southern Style — DWEEZIL ZAPPA and LISA LOEB visit Atlanta’s Cotton Club February 27 …

WILCO’s next long-player, “A Ghost Is Born,” is due in June … Bluegrass legend and all-around great human RICKY SCAGGS plays at Columbia’s Koger Center on leap-year day. He picks, and everybody grins … Check out five wonderful albums (including “Elite Hotel” and “Luxury Liner”) reissued this week from the incomparable EMMYLOU HARRIS … STEVE MORSE pays tribute to his early influences on “Major Impacts 2,” new in stores this week … GEORGE THOROGOOD AND THE DESTROYERS still want to know “Who Do You Love” March 1 at Atlanta’s Roxy.

Turner’s Rock ‘N’ Roll Jeopardy A. This band got their name from a phrase used in the ‘70s TV show “Chips.”

JOHN MAYER Q. Who is Seven Mary Three?

Fri & Sat

or years, fans of late BEATLE GEORGE HARRISON haven’t been able to purchase most of his solo work. Five of his latter-day, post-Apple albums, “Somewhere in England,” “Cloud Nine,” “George Harrison,” “Gone Troppo” and “Thirty-Three and a Third,” have been out of print for years and are finally reissued this week, each with bonus tracks. A sixth, “Live in Japan,” is also out now, boasting 5.1 surround sound and other extras. This two-disc set features Harrison fronting old pal ERIC CLAPTON’s band in 1991 on what turned out to be one of just two tours the “quiet Beatle” ever performed. As if that wasn’t enough, “The Dark Horse Years,” released this week as well, contains each of the aforementioned discs with plenty of extras, including video footage. Harrison (as a solo artist) will be inducted in the Rock ‘N’ Roll Hall of Fame in March.

T U R N E R

s g tin

h g i S

MARIE FOREMAN AND ASHLEY WALKER AT LAST CALL.

CARRIE WOO D AND JUSTIN HAMILTON AT THE FIREHOU SE. NY AND

N ANTHO

ARSO GHAM, CH IN T IT R B SALLY LAIR. AT FOX’S JAI WEST

G.I.

OMPSON AT T.

HY TH ROY AND KAT FRIDAY’S.

MITCH CHAPPELL, ROSE KNOX, SHERRI BRYAN AND BRAD BRYAN AT T.G.I. FRIDAY’S.

TIFFANY BELDING AND NELSON DENIAL AT T.G.I. FRIDAY’S.

ITH AT COCONUTS.

AND PAMEL LATOYA TOOLE COCONUTS.

A FREDRICK AT

ALLEN HOUSTON AND PATRICIA RHODES AT SURREY TAVERN.

45

Photos by Michael E. Johnson

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

JANICE AND ARTIE SM

music

music minis The Universal Sex Nerd When “American Idol” contestant William Hung gave his performance of Ricky Martin’s “She Bangs,” it was like a train wreck. I couldn’t help feel bad for the guy as he gave his all, and I couldn’t laugh at him either. It was just too shocking.

More shocking than Janet Jackson’s boob.

Even Simon couldn’t be too mean to this one. And now, Hung rules the world. If you don’t believe us, go to WilliamHung.reallyrules.com where you can be inundated with quotes from the site’s two Webmistresses, “Andrea” and “Rebecca” – “The only things I need in life are a video of William Hung’s audition and some pineapples,” says Andrea. Rebecca calls him “the universal sex nerd.”

The Case of the Head-Hump Comes to an End Remember the security guard whose head was allegedly assaulted by Manson himself during a concert? Well, he won. Sort of.

Joshua Keasler took Manson to court where he accused the performer of sexual assault. There has been a settlement, but neither side is talking terms with the press.

Woman Sues Recording Industry She says they made her an offer she couldn’t refuse. Michele Scimeca of New Jersey was accused by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) of illegally downloading recordings. She filed her suit against Sony Music

Entertainment, UMG Recordings and Motown Record Co. L.P. under RICO, also known as the Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Statute. Her attorney Bart Lombardo has been quoted as saying the RIAA are threatening her with huge damages (i.e., $150,000 per incident) if she refuses to settle. Lombardo is working on contingency.

of you who are allergic to … oh, I don’t know … “Copa Cabana,” for instance, – and you know who you are – steer clear, lest you have an unwanted soundtrack in your head.

Lena Horne Fires Janet Jackson There was going to be an ABC movie based on the life of 86-year-old singer Lena Horne, who busted up some racial barriers in the entertainment world. But the boob incident has offended Horne to the point where she threatened to withold cooperation if Jackson were still on the project. When Jackson bowed out, the ABC producers bowed out with her in a show of support.

COMPILED BY RHONDA JONES

LIVE!

At the Imperial Theatre Friday, March 12 7:30pm and 9:30 pm Tickets available at the Imperial Theatre box office, online at www.imperialtheatre.com or by phone at 722-8341.

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

By Andy Stokes

I Judge the Songs that Make the Whole World Cry “American Idol” fans, beware. Barry Manilow is going to settle himself into the judges’ panel for the episodes that will air April 19 and 20. While he’s there, contestants will have to perform his songs, and he himself will perform on the 20th. So those

Information compiled from online and other music news sources.

46

CD Reviews

Camera Obscura - “Underachievers Please Try Harder” (Merge) Glasgow’s favorite sons, the remarkably consistent Belle and Sebastian, recently proved they could keep their preciousness despite cheering up a little bit with the release of “Dear Catastrophe Waitress.” The reasons responsible for this upswing are probably Trevor Horn’s Lazarus-like production abilities and frontman Stuart Murdoch finally acting like a frontman. However, seeing countrymates Camera Obscura following their lead must bring proud smiles to the faces of Belle and Sebastian members.

It’s not as if you’d have to be one of the tunnel vision-impaired devotees of Belle and Sebastian to appreciate this, Camera Obscura’s proper U.S. release. The album doesn’t surprise — it sounds exactly like a septet from Glasgow is expected to sound.

And since Belle and Sebastian are Glasgow’s biggest export, it’s natural to expect their shadow to loom over a large portion of “Underachievers Please Try Harder.” The sonics of the album to which Belle and Sebastian provide no rational explanation, however, are rooted far away in a much sunnier place: “Keep It Clean” recalls the reverb-heavy, hollowed-out sound of the surf-guitar era; “A Sister’s Social Agony” follows the framework of a long-forgotten Beach Boys ballad; “Teenager,” with its bossa nova backdrop and eerie use of theremin, displaces the group.

You might even forget that they’re Scottish.

“Before You Cry,” however, is the album’s undisputed best moment. It’s a meandering downer that lets the group flex their Nashville muscles (or are they just tendencies?), hinting at the glorious possibility of an entire country record. Sometimes-leadvocalist Tracyanne Campbell’s tenor becomes as vulnerable and completely adorable as Mazzy Star’s Hope Sandoval or Cowboy Junkies’ Margo Timmins.

“Underachievers Please Try Harder” is nearly flawless in what it attempts to achieve, but could be improved by one correction: Campbell’s vocal featheriness and fellow vocalist John Henderson’s Chris Martinmeets-Lee Hazlewood drone don’t share enough of the album. When the two share the same song, they rival the complementary method practiced for years by Luna’s Dean

Wareham and Britta Phillips. Regardless, the album is still a jewel, and will appeal to anyone comfortable enough in their own musicality to have it questioned.

John Vanderslice – Cellar Door (Barsuk) It’s a bit too late in John Vanderslice’s career to label him a whiz kid. Conor Oberst can have that tag. A more fitting title for Vanderslice would be the “detached-but-stillself-aware songwriting and studio wizard.”

On “Cellar Door,” his fourth, he’s become more confessional, thinly masking vulnerabilities under his Johnny Cash-meets-John Updike style of action vs. consequences songwriting. Emotionally, “Cellar Door” seems so wrenched from Vanderslice’s subconscious that it very well could have been recorded from a therapist’s couch. However, Vanderslice spent 400-plus hours recording this album at his own Tiny Telephone Studios in San Francisco.

Vanderslice displays maturity not only in lyrical ability (he had a song titled “Bill Gates Must Die” on his first album) but also in production abilities, subtly adding layers of depth by mastering use of secondary instruments like string sections, horns, and even oddly-fitting bells and chimes. Vanderslice could be indie-rock’s answer to Trent Reznor, displaying the ability to seamlessly fuse saturated lyrics with curtains of sound. “Cellar Door” is the perfect example of what can happen when artistic vision and moderation meet each other halfway.

Lyrically, Vanderslice continues with narratives that either make references some literary- or movie-buffs may immediately pick up (“When It Hits My Blood” is a first-person narrative from heroin-addict Harry Goldfarb of “Requiem for a Dream”) or are of Vanderslice’s own creation. Either way, “Cellar Door” is not only his most darkly genius moment yet, it’s the most aptly titled album in his catalog. Like a real cellar door, the album is cold and damp, and offers very few clues to the deep-seeded opacity found inside. Vanderslice’s strongest virtue remains his ability to craft a hauntingly brilliant melody, and then get behind the mixing boards without falling victim to over-indulgence.

AFTER DARK

SEE ROGER DAVIS AND RONNIE HILL PERFORM FEB. 28 AT FOX’S LAIR.

Thursday, 26th Aiken Brewing Co. – Perpetual Groove The Bee’s Knees – Meditate on This!

Blind Pig – Pat Blanchard Cafe Du Teau – James McIntyre Club Argos – Karaoke Dance Party Continuum – Playa*Listic Thursday Coyote’s – The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads – 212 D. Timm’s – The Section Finish Line Cafe – DJ Fox’s Lair – Mike Greene Greene Streets – Karaoke Joe’s Underground – Ruskin Locals – Preston and Weston Marlboro Station – Dance Party Michael’s – Marilyn Adcock Modjeska – The Comedy Zone, DJ Casey Playground – Open Mic Robbie’s Sports Bar – DJ Rusty Serendipity Café – Josh Pierce Shannon’s – Karaoke with Peggy Surrey Tavern – The Big Mighty Wheeler Tavern – DJ Dog

Coconuts – Bikini Contest Coliseum – Charlie Brown Coyote’s – The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads – Scattered Thieves D. Timm’s – The Section El Rodeo – DJ Sontiago Finish Line Cafe – DJ Fox’s Lair – Livingroom Legends French Market Grille West – Quiet Storm Greene Streets – Karaoke Hangnail Gallery – The Prisoner’s Dilemma, The Residence, Andrew Powledge, The Vanity Crowd The Helm – Preston and Weston Joe’s Underground – John Kolbeck Last Call – DJ Richie Rich Locals – Karaoke Marlboro Station – The New Model Elton Michael’s – Marilyn Adcock Modjeska – Deeper with Jason Wilson Ms. Carolyn’s – The Horizon Robbie’s Sports Bar – DJ Rusty The Shack – DJ Chip Shannon’s – Bart Bell, Allen Black Stillwater Tap Room – Black Bottom Biscuits Surrey Tavern – Soul Dimension Wheeler Tavern – DJ Dog

Saturday, 28th

Aiken Brewing Co. – Redbelly Andy’s – Tim Baker Back Roads – DJ The Bee’s Knees – Sweet Nuthin’ Blind Pig – Shameless Dave and the Miracle Whips Borders – Jim Perkins Cafe Du Teau – James McIntyre

Monday, 1st

Coliseum – Q.A.F. Continuum – Monday Madness Greene Streets – Karaoke Joe’s Underground – Keith “Fossill” Gregory Michael’s – Mike Swift

Tuesday, 2nd

Adams Lounge – Keith “Fossill” Gregory The Bee’s Knees – 12*Tone Lounge Coliseum – Tournament Tuesday Crossroads – Tuesday Night Music Club Panel Discussion D. Timm’s – The Section Fox’s Lair – Open Mic Greene Streets – Karaoke Joe’s Underground – Keith “Fossill” Gregory Metro Coffeehouse – Irish Night with Sibin Michael’s – Marilyn Adcock Surrey Tavern – The Pat Blanchard Band

Sunday, 29th

Adams Lounge – DJ Cafe Du Teau – The Last Bohemian Quartet Marlboro Station – Petite DeJohnville Orange Moon – Smooth Jazz Sunday with Emery Bennett

Wednesday, 3rd The Bee’s Knees – Meditate on This!

Blind Pig – Sabo and the Scorchers Club Argos – Dance Party, Claire Storm

continued on page 48

47

Aiken Brewing Co. – Steel String Theory Andy’s – Live Music Back Roads – DJ The Bee’s Knees – Projections and Selections Blind Pig – Elliot and The Untouchables Borders – Will McCranie Cafe Du Teau – James McIntyre Charlie O’s – Live Band Club Argos – Spectral Erosa with DJ Triskyl, Claire Storm

Robbie’s Sports Bar – DJ Rusty Serendipity Café – Jason Miller The Shack – Karaoke with DJ Joe Steel, Sasha Shannon’s – Roulette Somewhere in Augusta – Ruskin Yeargain T.G.I. Friday’s – John, Pat and Jamie Wheeler Tavern – Karaoke with DJ Dog

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

Friday, 27th

Charlie O’s – Live Band Club Argos – Male Revue Coconuts – DJ Tim Coliseum – Petite DeJohnville, Hot Boy Gabriel Coyote’s – The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads – The Vellotones, 212 D. Timm’s – The Section Finish Line Cafe – DJ, Karaoke Fox’s Lair – Roger Davis, Ronnie Hill French Market Grille West – Quiet Storm Greene Streets – Karaoke Hangnail Gallery – Ruckspin, 50/50 Shot, Sick Sick Sick, The Anchorite Four The Helm – Karaoke Contest Joe’s Underground – Joe Stevenson Last Call – DJ Richie Rich Marlboro Station – Ethel Mae Metro Coffeehouse – Live Afternoon Bluegrass with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Michael’s – Marilyn Adcock Modjeska – Secret Society with DJ Kenny Ray Partridge Inn – Sandy B. and the All-Stars Robbie’s Sports Bar – DJ Rusty The Shack – DJ Buckwheat Shannon’s – Kool Katz Soul Bar – Shaun Piazza Band Stillwater Tap Room – County Farm Surrey Tavern – Soul Dimension Wheeler Tavern – DJ Dog

Rodney Atkins – Coyote’s – March 5 The Fairfield Four – Imperial Theatre – March 6 Pre-Masters Bash – Last Call – March 6 Anthony Gomes – Blind Pig – March 6 2 Live Crew – Crossroads – March 13, 15 Return to Wonkaland Party – Last Call – March 20 Ralph Stanley – Imperial Theatre – March 21 Bloodkin – Crossroads – April 2 Masters Massacre – Crossroads – April 9-10 Honestly – Crossroads – May 7

Elsewhere

JOIN DJ TRISKYL FOR SPECTRAL EROSA AT CLUB ARGOS FEB. 27.

continued from page 47 Playground – Karaoke Robbie’s Sports Bar – DJ Rusty Soul Bar – Live Jazz with Moniker Surrey Tavern – Pat and Adam

Upcoming

Rock, Roll and Remember Jennifer Clark Trust Benefit – Imperial Theatre – March 5 Bangers Ball – Crossroads – March 5

Ciroc

THIS SUNDAY THE BIG MIGHTY Their final Friday’s performance

$1.50 Budlight Bottles

Fried Mozzarella, Potato Skins, Potstickers, Onion Rings, Quesadillas

$2.50 Cuervo

Don’t Forget About Food & Beverage Night Every Sunday!

GOOD LUCK GUYS!

11PM-2AM

$1.50 DOMESTIC PINTS $2 SELECTED APPETIZERS

2800 Washington Rd.

736-8888

New Happy Hour Times!

$1.50 Drafts

$3.75

MONDAY-FRIDAY 9PM-11PM $1 OFF ENTIRE BAR

“The Original Home of F&B Night!”

Food & Beverage Sunday!

$2 Appetizers

Sunday, Feb. 29 Weekly Special:

NEW HAPPY HOUR

$2.50 Jager $2.50 Jagerbombs $1 Off Entire Bar Weekly Specials

“The Original”

11PM-2AM Home of Food & Beverage Night!

$2 Appetizers

$1.50 Drafts

NEW HAPPY HOUR

Food & Beverage Sunday!

$1.50 Drafts

Food & Beverage Sunday!

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

New Happy Hour Times!

$2 Appetizers

48

Food & Beverage Sunday!

$1.50 Drafts

$2 Appetizers

New Happy Hour Times!

Many tickets are available through TicketMaster outlets by calling 828-7700, or online at www.ticketmaster.com.

Tickets may also be available through Tix Online by calling 278-4TIX, online at www.tixonline.com or at their outlet location in Southgate Plaza. Night Life listings are subject to change without notice.

Deadline for inclusion in Night Life calendar is Tuesday at 4 p.m. Contact Rhonda Jones or Lisa Jordan by calling 738-1142, faxing 736-0443 or e-mailing to rhonda.jones@metrospirit.com or lisa.jordan@metrospirit.com.

New Happy Hour Times!

Coconuts – Karaoke Coliseum – Wacky Wednesdays Continuum – Open Mic Jam Sessions Coyote’s – The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads – Josh Pierce D. Timm’s – The Section Fox’s Lair – Open Mic Greene Streets – Karaoke Joe’s Underground – Daddy Grace Michael’s – Marilyn Adcock

Hank Williams III – Masquerade, Atlanta – Feb. 26 Lou Rawls – Anderson Theatre, Marietta, Ga. – Feb. 27 A.F.I. – Tabernacle, Atlanta – Feb. 28 Drive-By Truckers – Georgia Theatre, Athens, Ga. – Feb. 28 Willie Nelson – Macon City Auditorium, Macon, Ga. – Feb. 29 Maroon 5 – Georgia Theatre, Athens, Ga. – March 2 Henry Rollins – 40 Watt Club, Athens, Ga. – March 3 Starflyer 59 – Echo Lounge, Atlanta – March 4 Guster – Tabernacle, Atlanta – March 5 Big Head Todd and the Monsters – Roxy Theatre, Atlanta – March 6 Hoobastank, Linkin Park, P.O.D. – Philips Arena, Atlanta – March 6 Chingy, I-20, Ludacris – Tabernacle, Atlanta – March 11 Erykah Badu, Floetry – Fox Theatre, Atlanta – March 12 The Vines, Jet – Roxy Theatre, Atlanta – March 13 N.E.R.D., Black Eyed Peas – Tabernacle, Atlanta – March 15 Ted Leo, Pharmacists – 40 Watt Club, Athens,

Ga. – March 15 British Sea Power – Echo Lounge, Atlanta – March 17 Grandaddy, Saves the Day, The Fire Theft – Tabernacle, Atlanta – March 19 French Kicks – 40 Watt Club, Athens, Ga. – March 23 Preston School of Industry – Tasty World, Athens, Ga. – March 24 John Vanderslice – The Earl, Atlanta – March 25 My Chemical Romance, Poison the Well, Thrice – The Masquerade, Atlanta – March 25 The Sleepy Jackson – Echo Lounge, Atlanta – March 26 Phantom Planet – 40 Watt Club, Athens, Ga. – March 27

News of the

Weir d

A

rt Comes to Life: In a 1999 episode of TV’s “The Simpsons,” Homer became a temporary multibillionaire by accidentally inventing a “tomacco” plant that sprouted tobacco-bred tomatoes that were hopelessly addictive from even a single bite.

Inspired (and hoping to draw attention to the show’s anti-smoking message), Rob Baur of Lake Oswego, Ore., tried to grow such a plant and has somewhat succeeded, although a forensic researcher believes that only the plant itself, and not the fruit, contains nicotine. In February, he announced that he would auction off the golf-ball-sized fruit.

Life is hectic. Weekends shouldn't have to be. Join Scott Simon for Weekend Edition every Saturday at 8:00 AM on WACG, 90.7 FM. Reclaim your Saturday and hear weekend news, views, and commentary. From gardening tips and film reviews to in-depth news analysis, Peabody Award-winning host Scott Simon eases you into the weekend with a fresh

Photo of Scott Simon by Lisa Berg

perspective.

Call us at (800) 654-3038 or visit us at www.gpb.org for more information about our programming.

2 FOR 1

Augusta's

Best Restaurant Domestic Beer House Wine & Well Drinks

4-8PM • MON-THURS

EVERY FRI & SAT Quiet Storm 6-10PM

50

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

Wide Variety of Lunch & Dinner Specials

RIVERWATCH PARKWAY TO FURY’S FERRY ROAD WINN DIXIE MARKET PLACE

855-5111

Overall

• Best Desserts • Best Beer Selection • Friendliest Service Get a taste of New Orleans

NOW OFFERING LUNCHEON DELIVERIES!

Surrey Center 737-4865

Unclear on the Concept • Ronald Paul McAllister, 43, allegedly robbed a Bank of America branch in Tulsa, Okla., in January, during which incident he was quoted as advising a teller, “Don’t do anything stupid, lady.” Moments later, as McAllister fled with his loot, he forgot to take his holdup note, which was a pre-printed withdrawal slip with his name on it. He was easily tracked down, and police now say McAllister had robbed another bank in October.

• Ariel Alonso, who lives near Roanoke, Va., was indignant when the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration wrongly accused him of setting up a methamphetamine lab, and asked rhetorically, after the charges were dropped in January, “How do I get my ... dignity back?” The laboratory of Alonso (and his then-partner Jonathan Conrad) was in reality making the so-called “fluid of life,” which they goaded customers into buying (at $20 to $40 a dose) by claiming that it is the component of human cells and can cleanse people internally and build new tissue, even though it was just potassium chloride and white grape juice. (That, apparently, is the business plan that gave Alonso “dignity.”)

• Convicted murderer Robert Ivey continued to tell a court in Montreal, Quebec, in December that (contrary to a jury’s finding) he is not guilty of killing the 42-year-old victim and that if only he had enough money to challenge the conclusive DNA tests (which showed that his blood was all over the victim’s apartment), he would be a free man. A few moments later during his recitation to the court, Ivey asked the judge for credit toward his sentencing because of his conscientiousness in having spent “seven hours” cleaning up the crime scene and the victim’s body.

• North Korean leader Kim Jong Il, who is widely believed by United Nations officials and Far East experts to be tolerating the starvation deaths of perhaps millions of his countrymen, launched a nationwide campaign in January to improve national health by eradicating smoking, whose practitioners, said Kim, are one of the “three main fools of the 21st century” (along with people ignorant about music and computers).

Awesome!

In November, Jacky Bibby, 52, of Whiskey Flats, Texas (near Fort Worth), first sat in a bathtub with 81 live rattlesnakes and then extended his own “Guinness Book” record by stuffing the tails of nine of them into his mouth. Protocol required that he band the tails together at the rattles and hold them in his mouth for 10 seconds while leaning forward.

(The Associated Press reported that Bibby’s day job is “marketing” for a drug treatment center.) (Also, in December, Brian Moffitt of Winnipeg, Manitoba, extended his “Guinness Book” record of 702 body piercings by inserting 900 surgical needles into his leg at the same time.)

Conditional Love Eva Reyes, 71, the mother of convicted murderer David Maust of Hammond, Ind., said in December, upon being informed that Maust had been charged with three more murders: “I love David, but, yes, (the death penalty) would be the right thing to do for him (if convicted).” Also in December, Lynda Nixon, the mother of convicted double murderer Ian Huntley (Soham, England), told The Sun newspaper: “I believe Ian should not live after what he’s done. I truly wish we had capital punishment” (and she went on to specify an “electric chair”).

More Things You Probably Didn’t Know (1) The first international camel beauty pageant was held in November in the Alxa League area of the Inner Mongolia Autonomous region of China, according to an Associated Press dispatch, featuring nearly 100 dressed-up camels judged (by veteran herders) for the shine of their hair and the uprightness of their humps. (2) And a Duke Medical Center study, announced in December, concluded that doses of nicotine might reduce age-associated memory impairment (“senior moments”), thus adding to the conditions (others: schizophrenia, attentiondeficit hyperactivity disorder) that can benefit from nicotine.

Recurring Themes In January, doctors at the Selian Hospital, Arusha, Tanzania, removed a toothbrush from the stomach of a 54-year-old man who had become the latest person to swallow one while brushing his teeth. And in December in Cortland, N.Y., Ron Tanner was captured after about a year on the run as a fugitive from a prison in Wyoming, where he was serving time for theft. Tanner is now the latest innocent man (the Wyoming Supreme Court recently threw out his theft conviction) jailed for escaping from a prison where he was being wrongfully detained, and he faces up to 10 years behind bars if convicted.

— Chuck Shepherd © United Press Syndicat

Brezsny’s Free Will

time for you to renounce three experiences that you have become a bit addicted to. Those experiences are berating yourself, denying yourself pleasure and giving till it hurts. I urge you to give them all up between now and April 10.

Astr ology ARIES (March 21-April 19)

You know that library book you checked out in 1999 and still have in your bookcase? It’s time to return it to the library, preferably along with a partial payment. Remember the unconscious way you broke up with one of your old flames? It’s time to send an apology. How about that dumb thing you did to sabotage your own happiness once upon a time? Isn’t it about time you forgave yourself and shed your lingering remorse? Hell has frozen over, Aries. Pigs have grown wings. Make the atonements you thought you’d never make in a thousand years.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

University students in Poland have discovered an unexpected way to boost their grades: Wearing red underwear while taking tests. Ever since researchers presented evidence of the “red underwear effect,” clothing stores have reported a run on scarlet-hued bras, underpants and boxer shorts around exam times. Maybe it’s merely the result of mass hysteria, but what difference does it make if it truly enhances the students’ performance under pressure? I suggest you consider hopping on this trend, Taurus. What have you got to lose from regularly donning red skivvies during this, the final-exam phase of your yearly cycle?

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

If oil companies were given a green light to drill Alaska’s Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, they’d ultimately produce 42 million gallons of black gold every day. America’s dependence on foreign oil would diminish, which might in turn reduce its inclination to use military force to ensure its supply. But there is a simpler way to accomplish the same goal. If the fuel efficiency of SUVs were boosted a mere three miles per gallon, America’s daily oil consumption would decrease by 49 million gallons. I suggest you keep this scenario in mind, Gemini, as you head towards a turning point in your personal life. Rather than exploit and

pollute one of your natural talents for a seemingly good cause, I suggest you seek an alternate way to accomplish that good cause. It may take a relatively minor adjustment.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

In an effort to improve the image of the pit bull, New York City has officially changed the dog’s name to “New Yorkies.” I propose that we Crabs try a similar experiment. Isn’t it time we try shedding our linguistic connection with the killer disease? How about if, for the next three weeks, we call our sign “Thunderbird” or “Quantum Flux” or “Vanquisher” instead of “Cancer”? Let’s see if it stimulates subtle changes in the way we think about ourselves. It’s the perfect time to try it.

We’re currently in an astrological phase when we have maximum power to transcend limitations.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

Let’s do a check-in, Leo. In the first eight weeks of 2004, how well have you taken advantage of the stellar wealth-building opportunities? Have you been doing the inner work necessary to increase your value? Have you unleashed your imagination in a quest to heal and supercharge your relationship with money? Have you started to lay the groundwork for the livelihood you want to be doing by March 1, 2009? It’s prime time to intensify your efforts in all these tasks. P.S. I suggest that you also cultivate relationships with collaborators who can help you attract resources you’ll need for a long time.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Lent is the period between Ash Wednesday and Easter when devout Christians commemorate the 40 days that Christ allegedly spent resisting the devil’s temptations in the wilderness. Growing up Episcopalian, I was taught to imitate Jesus every year at this time by giving up something I had a strong attachment to. My usual choice was candy.

It so happens, Virgo, that even if you’re not Christian, the coming weeks will be an excellent

1 5 9 14 15 16 17 18 19

20 23 24 25 28 29 32 34 35 37

41 43 44 46 50 49 51 52 54 56 60 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69

1

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE K I E V I N L E A D O R S T A K E E R R S M R I P A S T O N P O S T Y R K I O K R A T E E M R E M O O N E S

T E L E K E M O E U S T O N G L O V E

A N T E R I O R S K I T O W

S E R V A N T A P O S T L E

S N E E Z E O P E N T O E S

N E E D Y K A O D N A E R D G E N A G

M A D E A B E T

K E Y S T O N E K C O O P S S A E T T E

T R E S

G O R E

U S A B L E

T E R S E R

M I I N N K

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Northern California, the place I call home, has more spiritual workshops per capita than anywhere else on earth. On a given weekend, you can choose from yoga retreats, meditation classes, astrology intensives and a hundred other adventures in woo-woo. Grizzled veterans of the scene have a phrase to describe the attitude of workshop leaders who are overly proud of how enlightened they are — who ooze a pretentious solemnity that belies the divine grace they’re supposedly championing. The term is “stinky Zen.” It’s a perfect way to convey the fact that humorless self-importance can sabotage even the finest ideals. Be on the alert for this stench, Sagittarius — not only in New Age types, but in everyone else, too. I nominate you to be the earthy whistleblower who makes sure that all the deep truths stay fun and funny.

Edited by Will Shorts

38 Middle of the

question Place Discernment Common ratio Sample Chamber piece?

Dispatched Monk’s title Driver’s aid: Abbr.

Track racer End of the question Like workhorses Arcade name V.I.P.’s opposite It’s passed on Compelled Wading bird Ottawa-born singer/ songwriter Turned up Cry that might be appropriate at this point in the puzzle

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Your ability to speak moving words and initiate useful changes is at a peak. So is your knack for revealing your inner beauty and attracting the help and attention you want. How will you wield these awesome powers? Like a manipulative megalomaniac bent on ruling your little corner of the world, always angling for personal gain? Or like a fascinating fount of blessings, eager to share your wealth as you hunt down inspiring adventures with relentless ingenuity?

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 13 21 22 26 27 30 31 33 35 36 37

ACROSS Retreat Passage between buildings Bingo announcement “Toodles!”

Mirage Magician’s sound effect Draped dress Things to be read Om, e.g.

Cream ingredient Malodorous pest Coded message Language suffix often seen in crosswords Compass dir. often seen in crosswords African grazer Put words in someone’s mouth?

Anthem contraction Platform place: Abbr.

Is hip to 1995 country hit “Someone ___ Star” “Dagnabbit!”

Latched Affectedly dainty, in England Extinct Namibian shrub genus: Var.

2

3

4

6

7

8

9

15

16

17

18

19

21

29

30

31

35

32

12

13

25

26

27

44

45

37 39

42

40

43

46

47

51

48

52 56

60

11

33

36

38 41

10

24

34

49

50

53

57

61

54 58

55

59

62

63

64

65

66

67

68

69

Puzzle by Patrick Merrell

38 Coordinated 39 40 41 42 44 45

effort Like some seats First Trip producer W.W. II Pacific battle site, for short Appropriate Blazing

— © Rob Brezsny You can call Rob Brezsny, day or night, for your

Expanded Weekly Horoscope

1-900-950-7700

$1.99 per minute • 18 & over • touchtone phone required • C/S 612-373-9785 • www.freewillastrology.com

22

23 28

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

Some astrologers believe that an unusually high percentage of babies born on February 29 grow up to be bisexual. I would go further and say that people born on that day are more likely to become bisexual, transgendered, double-jointed, ambidextrous double agents who are equally skilled at accessing both their left and right brain. Even you Pisceans who were not born on that exceptional day will be injected with a hefty dose of the February 29 spirit this week. It should be an excellent time to have your cake and eat it, too.

No. 0115 5

14

20

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

At no time in the week ahead will you be struck by lightning, squeezed by a giant python or blindsided by an old nemesis. I do predict that an unexpected force will hit you upside your attitude, but it will be the kind that’s good for you. Here are some examples of what form this intervention might take. You could be splashed with a squirt gun by a friend who wants to break down an awkwardness or formality that has undermined your closeness; you could be hit with rolled-up socks thrown by a child who has something important to tell you; or you may be hugged with surprising ferocity by a person who is suddenly sorry to have been taking you for granted.

47 Cat 48 Desired

50 53 55 57

58 Good sign

response to 59 Ticks off “Take my wife … please!”

Open-sided 60 Hearst shelter kidnapping Perfume source grp.

Noted archer What a germ may become 61 Dear

For answers, call 1-900-285-5656, $1.20 a minute; or, with a credit card, 1-800-814-5554.

Annual subscriptions are available for the best of Sunday crosswords from the last 50 years: 1-888-7-ACROSS. Online subscriptions: Today's puzzle and more than 2,000 past puzzles, nytimes.com/crosswords ($34.95 a year).

Crosswords for young solvers: The Learning Network, nytimes.com/learning/xwords.

THANK YOU For Supporting Our Advertisers

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

New York Times Crossword Puzzle

Crossword ACROSS Often-told truths ___ facto Tricky shot Racer Luyendyk Gardener’s purchase Some saxes Lava geese It’s passed on Contents of some John Cage compositions Start of a question Adjusts Big ___ Whomps, briefly Old Mideast combine: Abbr.

John Dean, to Nixon Sure way to lose money “Gosh!”

Ruined A star may have one

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

It’s time for a check-in, Libra. What progress have you been making in your work on this year’s major assignment? As I suggested two months ago, you should expedite the dying of the Old You, preparing the way for the birth of the New You later in 2004. So have you been taking brave steps to liberate yourself from the past? Have you opened yourself to the possibility of making radical departures from business-as-usual? Do you whisper the word “resurrection” to yourself as you fall asleep each night? If you’ve been carrying out this quest in even a half-a***** way, the coming week will bring you a poignant gift.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Some British celebrities turn down the honors their government proposes to bestow on them. For example, actor Albert Finney refused to become a knight, saying it was “a disease which perpetuates snobbery.” Similarly, some people reject gifts they can’t use or don’t want. My friend Glenda’s uncle offered to give her an ostrich farm in Louisiana on the condition that she move there and oversee its operation. No thanks, she said. I advise you to be on the alert for meaningless honors and pseudo-blessings like these, Capricorn. Don’t let them distract you from the real thing, which will arrive later.

51

The Advice Goddess

Amy Alkon

FEBRUARY 26-29, 2004 FORT GORDON BARTON FIELD

M SHOWTIMES...

26 & 27 Feb .... 4:30 p.m. & 7:30 p.m.

28 Feb..... 10:30 a.m., 2 p.m. & 7 p.m.

29 Feb.....................2 p.m. & 4:30 p.m.

For more information, call 791-6779 or visit www.fortgordon.com.

Sponsored by...

Tickets can be purchased at the BIG TOP entrance, Fort Gordon Federal Credit Union and Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre: Adults (ages 13 & over)-$10, Children (ages 3-12)-$5, Children (under 3)-FREE. IN COOPERATION WITH

Sponsorship does not imply an endorsement by the U.S. Army.

Check out Saturn of Augusta’s BIG TENT SALE outside the circus, February 27 & 28!

Free circus ticket with a test drive during the sale!

52

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

Spirit ad (4.8125î x 6.4375î)

Put those glasses away with LASIK vision correction that’s just right for you!

Doctor Manuel Chaknis of Augusta LASIK was one of the first ophthalmologists in the country to have Lasik surgery himself over six years ago, and that gives him the ability to understand the procedure from the “patient’s perspective.” For a professional, un-pressured and personal atmosphere that will make you feel right at home, call Augusta LASIK today at 706-364-LASIK (5274).

Manual J. Chaknis, M.D. Board Certified Ophthalmologist Fellowship Trained in LASIK & Corneal Surgery

2826-A Hillcreek Drive • Augusta, GA 30909 • (706) 364-LASIK (5274)

y girlfriend of six months could be a “keeper.” The only thing dividing us is housekeeping issues.

She’s a neatnik … I’m not. She rents a small, easy-to-clean apartment; I have a house with a yard and pets. I’m a busy guy, so the housecleaning gets neglected. This freaks her out, and she won’t spend time at my place — which doesn’t bode well for us sharing living quarters in the future. I’ve already had one failed relationship with another neatnik. Is there any hope for this one?

— Dust for Life Love, just for the record, does not conquer all.

At best, it conquers some, and negotiates an uneasy truce with some of the rest. It does especially poorly against life’s tiniest irritations: in this case, the bacterial kind. You’re not just a man, you’re a microbe farmer — one who happens to love a woman whose kitchen floor probably compares favorably, for lack of life forms, with cauterized surgical steel. When she isn’t up all night sterilizing her grout, she’s probably lying awake wondering why the health department has yet to install an electronic billboard on your roof (like those tracking smoking deaths), to broadcast the moment-bymoment microorganism count at that split-level Petri dish you call home.

It can’t be a pleasing aesthetic for a woman who probably slacks off in the housekeeping department by leaving a single unwashed martini glass in the sink. Like you, she might have trouble seeing a future for your relationship — especially with all the Swiss Alps-like piles of your dirty laundry blocking her view. If only she could see the big picture: It’s not just your home; it’s your gift to the archeologists of the future.

Is she a little nuts? Perhaps. If so, she’s unlikely to get un-nuts. You’re equally unlikely to get permanently in touch with your inner Joan Crawford, or acquire a hobby involving incessant household scrubbing with ammoniasoaked rags. That said, she still might be a “keeper” — but only if you hire a housekeeper, fast. But, but … the expense, the aggravation, the (insert other lame excuses here). How much is it worth to you to have love in your life — $50 a week? $75? Regular maid service is a huge savings over other relationship-preserving options, such as remodeling Salmonella Central in wall-to-wall cement and molded plastic so

you can clean it by hosing it down. Best of all, your payment won’t just clear a path for love; it should also chip away enough unsanitary crud so you can find the bathroom sink, eliminating the need to shave outside under the sprinklers.

Ultimately, the people best suited for living together are those devoid of irritating habits.

Know any? Me neither. Regarding the little “idiosyncracies” that seem so endearing when you first fall for someone — down the road, they’re the stuff murder-suicides are made of.

That’s why I’m a big advocate of the two-family home — for the single family. If you and Princess Clorox insist on cohabiting, each of you should, at the very least, have a bathroom and a room of your own: your special place to keep as fanatically sterile or violently unkempt as your heart desires — providing you don’t let any of those half-eaten 7-11 burritos get big, green and furry enough to reach out and drag your partner in. ____________________________________ Yesterday, at a fast-food restaurant, a guy I’d been checking out came over and asked if I’d like some company. Taken off guard, I stammered “no.” Immediately, I wanted to go after him and take it back. Instead, I just sat there. Now I’m wondering if I should return and try to run into him again, apologize and invite him to join me, or will I look like more of a flaming idiot if I do?

— Grilled Chicken To be human is to be a flaming idiot, with intervening moments of dignified-looking adulthood. Why live in fear that you’re walking around with toilet paper stuck to the bottom of your life? Embrace the flaming idiot within, and free yourself to take advantage of romantic opportunities in fast-food establishments and beyond. There are limits: for example, staking out this particular venue in hopes of a repeat encounter (this crosses the line from apparent flaming idiocy to apparent flaming obsession).

If, however, you do run into this guy somewhere, seize your opportunity to look like a tectonic plate-shaking fool, and try again. You have nothing to fear but the chance that he’ll respond by yelling, “Gong! Sorry! One offer per customer!” And what kind of flaming idiot would say something like that?

— © 2004, Amy Alkon

Got A Problem?

Write Amy Alkon 171 Pier Ave. Box 280 Santa Monica, CA 90405 AdviceAmy@aol.com

To become a member, call 1-888-223-7044 To listen and respond to ads, call 1-900-226-8908 Calls cost $1.99 per min., Must be 18+.

,call 1-866-832-4685

To respond to ads using a WHOLE LOTTA LOVE SBF, 33, would like to share movies, dinners, quiet evenings at home, the usual dating activities, with a great guy. !463610 MORE THAN AVERAGE Slender SBF, 53, 5’2”, independent, Aries, smoker, loves music, conversation, laughter.

Seeking independent, mature SBM, 48-65, for friendship first. !369627

We Purchase Fine Swiss Watches, Estate Jewelry and Diamonds.

Monday-Saturday 10am-9pm 2635 Washington Road | Augusta, Georgia 30904 | 706.738.7777 www.windsorjewelers.net VELVET TEDDY BEAR SBM, 37, Sagittarius, N/S, in construction field, seeks an intelligent, attractive woman, 23-45, with healthy full figure, loving, caring, affectionate. !936899 MUCH TO OFFER SHM, 58, 5’10”, 185lbs, salt-n-pepper hair, retired, Virgo, N/S, loves trailer camping, mountains, beaches. Seeking WF, 48-62, N/S, retired a+. !937107 LOVEABLE TEDDY BEAR SBM, 38, 6’2”, Cancer, smoker, loves sports, dinner, dancing, movies. Seeking woman, 20-45, smoker, to kick up her heels with me. !938554 LOVES TO MAKE YOU LAUGH SBM, 37, 5’8”, slim build, Aquarius, smoker, disc jockey and pest control technician, seeks woman, 25-41, just as a friend. !939056 NASCAR FAN SWM, 39, 5’11”, brown/hazel, average build, Libra, smoker, seeks an old-fashioned WF, 21-45, for LTR. !932866 NEW TO AREA SBM, 41, 6’3”, 205lbs, brown eyes, handsome, Libra, N/S, ISO honest, sincere, fullfigured woman, 20-60, race unimportant. !928684 KINDRED SPIRITS SBM, 54, 5’7”, average build, local truck driver, Taurus, marriage-minded, smoker, seeks BF, 42-60, a kind soul. !928892 YOU NEVER KNOW... where this could lead. SBM, 24, Pisces, smoker, seeks BF, 20-30, for friendship, perhaps casual dating. !926708 LET’S TALK! SBM, 19, 6’, 145lbs, looking for a female, 1829, who is down-to-earth, knows how to have fun! !900587

TO THE POINT SBM, 20, 5’11”, Libra, smoker, loves hanging out with friends and listening to music.

Seeking a real woman, 20s, free of games. !924941 CULTURED SWM, 31, 5’6”, athletic build, Cancer, N/S, would like to meet an athletic, energetic woman, 21-55, N/S. !926395 LET ME LOVE YOU SWM, 37, 6’, 200lbs, Cancer, N/S, in construction work, loves camping. Looking to meet a nice WF, 40-60, with whom to share what lovers do. !908620 SEEKING ADVENTURE SWPM, 44, 6’2”, slender, Sagittarius, smoker, loves to travel. Seeking woman, 18-30, slender or average-sized. !910584 I LOVE MY DOG... but I can’t take her to the movies. Puerto Rican SHM, 22, 5’9”, long curly (sometimes braided) hair, smoker, works in collections.

Seeking BF, 18-40, for friendship, possible romance. !914936 SEEKING SOMEONE SPECIAL SBM, 61, Virgo, smoker, likes reading, movies, dining out, travel. Seeking outgoing, caring woman, 18-55, with similar interests, for LTR. !850674 LOOKING FOR MS. RIGHT SWM, 37, 5’9”, 180lbs, enjoys biking, sports, travel, dining out. Seeking outgoing, attractive SF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. !557954 TENDER, LOVING CARE SWM, 40, enjoys sports, hanging out and just having fun. Seeking a lady who needs more romance in her life. !895728

CONTACT ME! DM, 34, 160lbs, sandy blond, would like to meet a female, 19-38, for movies, dining, and more! !891732 MUST LOVE THE LORD SBM, 56, 5’7’’, N/S, likes sports, gospel music, exercise, steak. Seeking SBF, 39-42, N/S, for friendship first, see what develops. !891808 ARE WE A GOOD MATCH? SWM, 37, brown/blue, Leo, smoker, enjoys outdoor sports, Nascar. Seeks caring woman, 25-50, who wants to be treated like a queen. !891638 YOU AND ME SHM, 30, 5’7”, black/black, with tanned skin, enjoys sports, and is looking for a woman, 20-32, to share the fun stuff of life. !881180 A NEW YEAR SBM, 29, 5’7”, 145lbs, with a handsome face, seeks a woman who is petite, pretty, and occasionally crazy, to hang out, maybe more. !884263 COUNTRY DWELLER DWM, 38, 5’9”, 170lbs, brown hair, with 3 children, body shop collision technician, N/S, likes old cars, tractors, and motorcycles.

Seeking country girl, 28-42, for LTR. !821552 PLEASE, PLEASE ME SWM, 32, N/S, N/D, is looking for a woman, 27-35, with a petite build, to share good times, conversations and maybe more. !871092 AVERAGE JOE SWM, 52, is in search of a woman who enjoys games of golf, riding motorcycles, trips to the beach, or anything with the right guy. !861645

YOU HAVE 6 NEW MATCHES

Stud Finder

Mobile Dating. The easiest way to meet great people.

GUIDELINES: DATE MAKER ads are for adults 18 or over seeking monogamous relationships. To ensure your safety, carefully screen all responses. First meetings should occur in a public place. Abbreviations are permitted only to indicate gender preference, race, and religion. We suggest your ad contain a self-description, age range, lifestyle and avocations. Ads and voice messages containing explicit sexual language will not be accepted. This publication reserves the right to revise copy containing objectionable phrases; to reject in its sole discretion, any advertisement on account of its text. This publication assumes no responsibility for the content or reply to any DATE MAKER ad. The advertiser assumes complete liability for the content and all replies to any advertisement or recorded message and for any claims made against this publication and its agents as a result thereof. The advertiser agrees to indemnify and hold this publication, its employees and its agents harmless from all costs, expenses (including reasonable attorney fees), liabilities and damages resulting from or caused by the publication or recording placed by the a service of advertiser or any reply to any such advertisement. By using DATE MAKER, the advertiser agrees not to leave his/her phone number, last name or address in his/her voice greeting. Not all boxes contain a voice greeting.

ABBREVIATIONS

To purchase more than your free 30 words, at $2.00 per word, please call 1-800-234-5120

M B D F H C LTR

Male Black Divorced Female Hispanic Christian Long-term Relationship

G W A S J P N/D N/S

Gay White Asian Single Jewish Professional Non-Drinker Non-smoker

53

Become a member of Augusta’s hottest new way to meet singles! Call today!

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

COULD THIS BE YOU? SBF, 45, 5’4”, full-figured, Taurus, N/S, enjoys church, dining out, reading, and quiet times at home. ISO BM, 45-65, N/S, for LTR. !810309 ENDANGERED SPECIES SBF, 57, average build, independent, likes the good things life has to offer, fun to be with.

Seeking SBM, 55-68, independent, honest and caring. !927805 BE MY TEDDY BEAR SWF, 32, 5’3’’, 180lbs, auburn/blue, no kids, never married, enjoys movies, sports, travel, dining, bowling, cuddling, quiet evenings.

Seeking honest, romantic SBM, similar interests, for dating, possible LTR. !894568 DREAM GUY SBF, 29, searching for open-minded, outgoing SM, 22-38, military man A+, for friendship, fun nights out, dancing, talks and maybe more. !836990 CLOSER TO FINE SBF, 58, retired school teacher, N/S, enjoys traveling and tv. Seeking BM, 50-65, educated (high school at least, please), who enjoys having good clean fun. !909981 ISO CHRISTIAN VALENTINE SWCF, 61, outgoing, Libra, N/S, seeks SWCM, 59-65, with whom to share Christ, friendship, and laughter. Must be family-oriented, kind, outgoing, emotionally/financially secure. Let’s give our friendship a try. !911830 TALL BROWN SUGAR SBF, 25, 5’9”, N/S, enjoys movies, concerts, quiet times, and good music. Seeking WM, 23-30, N/S, no children. !906840 WANNA DANCE? SWF, 57, seeks dance partner for Salsa and Square Dancing! Any size, shape, big or tall, short or small, matters not! It’s the footwork that counts! Beginner-intermediate level. !898986 I WANT TO LOVE YOU SBF, 18, 5’2”, Cancer, enjoys writing poetry, walks on the beach, hanging out and enjoying life. Seeking BM, 18-24, who will treat her right, and expects the same in return. !880193 WAITING FOR YOU SB mom, 24, Virgo, seeks a man for days at the park, the mall, or at the movies, and spending time with family and friends. !883496 ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE Honest SWF, 28, 5’10”, 210lbs, blonde/blue, enjoys classic rock, horror movies, and quiet nights at home. Seeking SW/HM, 18-40, for friendship, possible LTR. !874789 LOVE OF LIFE Attractive, classy, vivacious SWCF, 50ish, N/S, N/D, seeks SWCM, N/S, N/D, who is honest, financially/mentally secure, and ready for commitment. !875741 LOOKING FOR YOU SWF, 37, 5’6”, Scorpio, N/S, enjoys mountains, bowling, the beach and music. Seeking WM, 35-48, N/S, to be a companion, friend. !456544 HIKER HEAVEN SWF, 45, full-figured, N/S, enjoys church, exploring, old movies, auctions, and gym.

Seeking WM, 46-56, N/S. Let’s make tracks together. !807679

SIMPLE KIND OF LIFE SWF, 34, listens to country and oldies music, and wants to meet a man to cuddle up on the couch and watch a good movie, or enjoy other simple pleasures. !860787 JAZZY MISS Slender and attractive SBPF, 31, loves music, conversation, travel. Seeking kind, friendly, honest and family-oriented SBM, 30-38, for fun times. !865339 LOOKING FOR ME Female, 34, Leo, smoker, seeks man, 25-38, for romance, real friendship, with similar interests, possibly more later on. !844726 OLD-FASHIONED LADY SWCF, 48, 5’3”, 150lbs, blonde/green, Scorpio, N/S, enjoys church, Bible studies, music, dining out. Seeking SWCM, 35-60, N/S, for friendship and more. !840939 SOMEONE TO LOVE SWF, 48, enjoys a good horror movie, a drama or a comedy. Seeking a man for romance, quiet times at home, or just dancing the night away! !832399 ADVENTUROUS MOM SBF, 29, Cancer, N/S, loves beaches, horror movies, and horseback riding. Seeking man, 25-40, N/S, strong-minded, who loves kids. !808682 LOVES TO BOWL WF, 48, petite, Capricorn, N/S, enjoys Chicano cuisines. Seeking WM, 46-59, N/S, very outgoing, for LTR. !806136 HI! I’m a 49-year-old SWF and I WLTM a onewoman’s man, very lonely person. I WLTM a gentleman who would to be good to me and treat me w/kindness and gentleness. !793024 A VERY SERIOUS WOMAN SBPF, 34, mother of 3, nurse, independent and secure, enjoys church, movies, dining. looking for commitment-minded, level-headed, spiritual, spontaneous, respectful man, who truly appreciates a good woman. Sound like you? !777612 AQUARIUS SEEKING SWF, 46, 5’6”, smoker, enjoys cuddling, movies, gardening. Seeking honest, handsome SWM, 40-50, with similar interests, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. !759515 THE LORD, ABOVE ALL SBCF, 38, Pisces, N/S, in the medical field (works private duty), would like to meet SBCM, 38-50, who shares my love of the Lord, for LTR. !727626 TRAVEL, ANIMALS... and movies make me happy. SWF, 53, Capricorn, N/S, loves the fall and spring and visiting Gatlinburg, TN. Seeking WM, 55-56, for LTR. !728854 SEARCHING FOR MR RIGHT SBPF, 39, Libra, loves church, traveling, movies, and dining out. Seeking SBPM, 3760, for possible LTR. !421273 FRIEND IN FAITH SBF, 47, Capricorn, N/S, involved with church, very creative, artistic, designs tile and cards. Seeking BCM, 44-58, involved with church, who loves the Lord. !707742 YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO SBF, 39, Leo, N/S, seeks BM, 38-45, downto-earth, very direct and straightforward, to have fun with. !582549 WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE? SWF, 48, Cancer, N/S, seeks WM, 40-56, who wants to have a great relationship. Why not give me a call? You never know. !511453 LOOKING FOR LOVE SWF, 24, blonde/brown, attractive, compassionate, easygoing, desires SWM, 24-34, honest, open-minded for friendship and companionship. !323553

To become a member, call 1-888-223-7044 To listen and respond to ads, call 1-900-226-8908 Calls cost $1.99 per min., Must be 18+.

To respond to ads using a

54

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

GLOVERVILLE GUY GWM, Capricorn, N/S, loves bars, karaoke, cooking out, and pool. Seeking GWM, 28-49, smoker, to cuddle up with. !936256 EASY TO TALK TO SWM, 48, loves good Italian or French cuisine, and is looking for a man who is easy to get along with, for romance. !870126

ACTIVE SBM SBM, 49, Pisces, N/S, enjoys bowling, movies, playing sports, seeks compatible BM, 30-46, N/S, with similar interests. !846543 LET’S SADDLE UP SWM, 27, 5’8”, brown/brown, Virgo, smoker, loves horses, camping (with or without the horses), and traveling. Seeking man, 25-40, who can ride, ride, ride. !921725 HEALTHY AND FIT SBM, 25, 5’5”, 170lbs, masculine, nighttime inventory stocker, Capricorn, N/S, enjoys working out. Seeking energetic, passionate, masculine WM, 20-50, N/S. !708544 SEEKING FRIENDSHIP SBM, 6’1”, 214lbs, enjoys indoor activities.

Seeking masculine SW/BM, honest, sincere, who is looking for new friendships. !737679 DOGGONE LOVEABLE SWM, 37, Gemini, smoker, nature and animal lover (especially puppies), seeks outgoing, down-to-earth man, 20-70, for friendship. !909184 TAKE A CHANCE GWM, 43, 6’2”, 195lbs, black brown, seeks other GWM, for fun times and maybe something more. !493530 FUN-FILLED DAYS AWAIT SBM, 24, enjoys taking trips, nice restaurants, fun evenings, dancing, quality time together. Seeking masculine SBM, 20-55, for possible relationship. !894435 LOOKING FOR COOL CAT... to converse with. SBM, 34, Capricorn, N/S, game and drama-free, seeks BM, 26-48, serious-minded, with sense of direction in life. !889038 LET’S GET TOGETHER GWPM, 37, 5’9”, brown/brown, who enjoys reading, movies, politics, entertainment, seeks a guy for dating, possibly growing into more. !883365 SEEKING SPECIAL GENTLEMAN SBM, 33, 6’2”, 245lbs, Taurus, N/S, likes movies, camping, music, reading, sports.

Seeking out GM, 35-48, for friendship, possible romance. !824261 GREAT PERSONALITY SBM, 18, 6’3”, 220lbs, masculine build, seeking SBM, 18-29, very masculine, energetic, fun-loving, to go out for dinners, walks and more. !627150 I WANT TO MEET YOU! GBM, 32, 5’7”, average build, Pisces, N/S, likes reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports. Seeking outgoing, caring GWM, 2445, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. !850885 SEEKS MAN WITH DIRECTION GBM, 33, Capricorn, N/S, seeks understanding, level-headed, secure GBM, 25-48, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. !854633 INTERESTED? Independent SWM, 37, 5’8”, 150lbs, brown/brown, would like to meet fun-loving, honest, real, professional, secure female to share dates, talks, walks, dinners and romance. !848764 FUN TO HANG AROUND WITH GWM, 52, 5’2”, smoker, enjoys playing pool, having fun, seeks outgoing GWM, 40-55, smoker, with similar interests. !844895 SEEKING SOMEONE SINCERE GWM, 42, 5’11”, 175lbs, brown/blue, somewhat masculine, outgoing and friendly, likes dining out, travel, movies and shopping.

Looking to meet honest, passionate SBM, with similar interests, for dating, possible LTR. !769411 FRIENDSHIP FIRST GWM, 26, 5’3”, athletic build, N/S, likes sports, working out, travel, reading, swimming. Seeking non-smoking GW/AM, 20-26, with similar interests. !764332

How do you

RELAXING AT HOME SBM, 35, Virgo, N/S, likes relaxing at home, fun, concerts, trips going to the beach. Seeks fun, spontaneous SBM, 26-37, N/S. !532700 LET’S MEET FOR COFFEE Good-looking GWM, 36, 6’, 200lbs, muscular, tan, enjoys working out, yard work, spending time with my dogs. Looking for attractive SM, 32-48, for dating, maybe leading to LTR. !436231 ME IN A NUTSHELL WM, 18, brown/blue, medium build, looking for fun, outgoing, energetic guy, 18-30, for movies, hanging out, quiet evenings at home, and more. Friends first, maybe becoming serious. !425471

LOVES CHILDREN Easygoing, nice SF, 32, looking for someone with the same qualities, 29-39, and a people person. !388943 AFRICAN-AMERICAN STUD Open-minded, spontaneous, laid-back SBF, 23, Pisces, N/S, loves R&B and old-school music. Seeking feminine woman, 25-50, race not important, who loves to have fun. !919677

WHY WAIT? SWF, 38, 5’6”,140lbs, short brown hair, easygoing, enjoys playing golf, the beach.

Seeking feminine female, 20-40, to have fun times and more. !448489 READY TO HAVE FUN! SF, 25, seeks femme, 25-35, race not important, who is nice, pretty, slim. Let’s talk and get to know one another! !895256 WAITING FOR YOU SBF, 19, is in search of a friend first, maybe more with time, with a lady who likes to get out and have fun. !874312 ONLY A WOMAN WILL KNOW GBF, Capricorn, N/S, likes reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports. Seeking outgoing, caring GWF, 27-52, N/S, with similar interests, for dating and more. !850614 THE SWEETEST THING SBF, 26, 5’8”, 145lbs, wants to get out and have fun with a new friend, maybe more with time. !832018 1 YOU’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR BiWF, 27, enjoys everything, promises you won’t regret it. If you’re looking for a good time and friendship, I’ll be perfect for you. !830500 PLAYS GUITAR, WRITES... poetry, and rollerblades.

NativeAmerican/African-American female, 18, 5’5”, 117lbs, very toned, laid-back, a goofball at times, N/S, seeks woman, 18-29. !818596 BONEVILLE BABE SWF, 31, 5’5”, 130lbs, brown/green, smoker, enjoys playing golf, movies, and picnics at the lake. Seeking WF, 25-40, for friends, possibly more. !818908

DIVA WITH DIMPLES Independent DWF, 23, Gemini, smoker, enjoys hip-hop, R&B, and country music.

Seeking WF, 20-30, smoker, for friendship, possible romance. !808179 GET TO KNOW ME SBF, 25, Taurus, N/S, enjoys movies, travel.

Seeking woman, 21-30, N/S, for friendship, possible romance. !803723 A LOT TO OFFER Non-smoking GBF, 37, N/S, seeks very attractive, unique, romantic, fun, intelligent, feminine GF, 27-37, for friendship, dating, possibly more. !749660 A NEW BEGINNING Attractive and outgoing SWF, 5’ 5”, Athletic build, 20, Aquarius, smoker, loves the outdoors, camping and hiking. Seeking WF, 2150, for LTR. !751226 JUST THE FACTS SBPF, 41, Libra, N/S, seeks PF, age and race unimportant, who enjoys dining out, quiet times at home, and movies, for LTR. !730225 ENJOYS BOWLING SBF, 32, Gemini, N/S, 5’3”, 145lbs, mother of one, enjoys movies, the mall, dining, going out to eat, bowling, quiet times at home, seeks woman, 21-38, for friendship, possible romance. !646271 BEAUTIFUL AND FEMININE GWF, 32, 5’7”, 135lbs, enjoys reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports, music, movies. Seeking GWF, 25-39, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. !329063

much more than just a great way to meet people. © 2004 TPI GROUP

ARE WE A MATCH? SWM, 42, 6’1”, 180lbs, brown/blue, enjoys classic rock, movies, dining, and more.

Seeking nice, friendly SW/HF, 30-47. !965931 GIVE ME A TRY SBM, 30, Virgo, N/S, likes reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports. Seeking outgoing, caring woman, 18-40, N/S, with similar interests, for LTR. !851101 ONE SIMPLE WOMAN? SBM, 41, Leo, smoker, retired military and fireman, seeks SHF, 20-50, smoker, with simple tastes, for dating and possible relationship. !844123 GIVE ME A CALL SWM, 40, 5’8”, 185lbs, salt-n-pepper/green, N/S, enjoys fishing, horseback riding, stargazing, martial arts, reading, quiet times home. Seeking that special woman to share life, laughs and maybe love. !834688 DARE YOU TO ENJOY LIFE SWM, 35, 5’10”, with above-average looks, military officer, N/S, loves travel. ISO an exciting, adventurous woman, 22-50, N/S, who likes to have fun. !830590 LOOKING FOR YOU SBM, 34, 6’2”, 235lbs, N/S, loves cooking, and loves to romance you. Seeking woman, 20-40. If you’re reading this ad, let’s hook up. !815532 CAPRICORN SWM, 36, 5’10”, average build, smoker, seeks a sweet WF, 28-46, for friendship, possible romance. !818386 OPEN-MINDED, EASYGOING SWM, 27, 5’8”, 125lbs, blond/blue, smoker, loves pizza. Seeking WF, 25-45, smoker, for friendship, possible romance. !819355 HIDDEN TREASURE Male, 27, 5’9”, 160lbs, blond/blue, Aries, N/S, seeks WF, 18-30, a straight shooter, who can appreciate an authentic Mr. Nice Guy type. !819406 DOWN FOR WHATEVER SBM, 18, 5’7”, Scorpio, N/S, student, seeks BF, 18-21, N/S, with a good head on her shoulders. No games. !799082 OPEN-MINDED GUY SBM, 5’11”, 20, well-groomed, Capricorn, N/D, N/S, enjoys basketball, friends, dining, music. Seeking nice, real woman, 18-25, for LTR. !800701 I’M INTRIGUED...

Male, 5’10”, athletic build, 30, Scorpio, N/S, seeks woman, 21-48, with interesting views and something to say. !801577 DO YOU LIKE 2 TRAVEL SM, 59, sociable and fun, enjoys bingo, dining out, movies, travel, more. Seeking sincere, happy, spontaneous lady for possible LTR. !774081 WELL-ROUNDED MAN Educated SBPM, 41, 5’11”, loves reading, working out, the arts, dining out, travel, quiet times. Would like to meet SWF, 30-45, with similar interests, for fun, friendship, and maybe more. !442021 HEART OF GOLD SWM, 31, 6’3”, 210lbs, brown/blue, enjoys reading, movies, travel, sports. Seeking outgoing, attractive SF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. !556440

,call 1-866-832-4685

start playing now!

1-888-223-7044

To pay for our services using a check, call 1-800-252-0920

Phone

Text Messages

E-Mail

Choose any phone number, home, office or your cellular phone!

Text message sent on your digital pager or on your cell phone.

Give us your e-mail address and we’ll do the rest.

want us to contact you?

Respond to ads on this page by calling 1-900-226-8908.

Classifieds Alt. Lifestyles

MARLBORO STATION Aiken’s Ultimate Dance Club !

! !

!

!

! !

!

!

!

!

!

!

! !

$1.00 D ra Every N ft ight All Nigh t !

!

!

! ! !

“UNDER NEW OWNERSHIP” STARLIGHT CABARET THUR - Dance Party FRI - The New Model Elton

SAT - Ethel Mae SUN- Petite DeJohnville

141 Marlboro Street, N.E. Aiken S.C. • 803-644-6485

DOORS OPEN AT 8:00 THURS, FRI, SAT, & SUN • 8PM-2AM

18 to Party • 21 to Drink • No Cover With This Ad

Call 738-1142 to place your Classified ad today!

Mind, Body & Spirit

THE COLISEUM

Become A Massage Therapist

Premier Entertainment Complex & High Energy Dance Music

Friday, Feb 27th Charlie Brown Drink Specials: FRI & SAT Saturday, Feb 28th Famous Beer Bust Petite DeJohnville & All You Can Drink $9 Hot Boy Gabriel

Augusta School of Massage Inc. is now accepting applications for day & evening courses. Ask how to receive a free massage table.

We exceed the minimum requirements for certification through the National Certification Board for Therapeutic Massage & Bodywork.

Open Mon-Fri 8pm-3am Sat 8pm-2:30am

Fri & Sat. No Cover Before 10 p.m.

Augusta School of Massage Inc.

1632 Walton Way • Augusta, GA

706-733-2603

Email: ColiseumAugusta@aol.com

Call Today For Details!

733-2040

3512 1/2 Wheeler Road • Augusta, GA 30909 Music

READINGS BY

C A R D R E A D I N G S

Employment Rosedale Transport Needs OTR Drivers, both team and solo.

If you have one year experience, CDL Class A with haz-mat, good driving record. Home weekly, 1-800-486-3681 (02/26#8353)

General Help Wanted Business Opportunity

Be your own boss!

Unlimited income potential marketing a service everyone needs. Low star t-up-cost; training provided.

Call Lisa Barret t, Independent Associate, 706.210.5530 (02/26#8375)

www.metrospirit.com

$250 - $500 a Week Will train to work at home helping the US Government file HUD/FHA mor tgage refunds No experience necessary Call 1-800-778-0353 (02/26#8369)

Equipment WOLFF TANNING BEDS

Insurance

Liberty National Life Insurance Co.

is expanding its operation and is looking for upwardly mobile people to fill insurance sales & service positions. Average annual earnings $42,000. Fringe benefit package: 2 retirement funds, health insurance, paid vacation, convention trips & many others.

No experience necessary. We have on the job training.Requirements: honesty, hard worker & dependable transportation.

Contact: Desh Lachman (706) 877-2127 or Kishmir Hightower (706) 589-2857 or Fax Resume to (706) 860-2652 Attn: Desh or Kishmir Liberty National is an EOE

Poor Water Drainage?

GUARANTEED SOLUTIONS

Religion Understanding the Mind: Tuesdays, 7 - 8:30 PM, March 2nd & 9th & March 23rd-April 13th at the Unitarian Church of Augusta.

3501 Walton Way Ex tension.

Ganden Buddhist Center (803) 256-0150 or www.MeditationInSouthCarolina.org (02/26#8374) Metropolitan Community Church of Our Redeemer A Christian Church reaching to all: including Gay, Lesbian, and Transgendered Christians.

Meeting at 557 Greene Street, 11 am and 6 pm each Sunday. 722-6454 MCCOurRedeemer@aol.com www.mccoor.com (02/26#8128)

Travel

LICENSED • INSURED

706-869-9988

www.sundownconstruction.com Love’s Wedding Chapel All types of ceremonies NO BLOOD TEST!!!!

NO WAITING PERIOD!!!!

Love & Light Healing Center 2477 Wrightsboro Road 706-733-8550 or cell 951-1300 (02/26#8370)

Telephone Service Unlimited Long-Distance & Local Calling One Price, One Bill, One Company Keep Your Same Phone # Call 1-800-392-4050 Eula NEX X Independent Rep www.nex xrep.com/134741 (02/26#8354)

Wheels

Private Investigator RAY WILLIAMSON & ASSOCIATES Private Investigations 17 years experience Domestic Relations and Child Custody Cases Licensed and Bonded in Georgia & Carolina 706-854-9672 or 706-854-9678 fax (02/26#8359) Premier Investigations •Domestic •Child Custody •Background Checks 869-1667 (02/26#8366)

Dead Bodies Wanted

We want your dead junk or scrap car bodies.

We tow away and for some we pay.

706/829-2676

OR

706/798-9060

Email your classified ad to classified@metrospirit.com

55

AFFORDABLE • CONVENIENT Tan At Home Payments From $25/month FREE Color Catalog Call Today 1-800-842-1305 (03/25#8320)

341 S. Belair Rd. Open from 9 a.m. til 9 p.m.

Call (706) 733-5851

Sewing by Sara Sewing, alterations, pillows & purses.

706-650-5974 (02/26#8367)

METRO SPIRIT - FEBRUARY 26, 2004

Incredible opportunity to help you earn residual income!

PT/FT training provided.

Call Me Today 888-742-1777 LeRoy NEX X Independent Rep www.phone222.com (02/26#8365)

59 People needed to lose weight!

All natural, doctor recommended 100% Guaranteed Call for free sample, 706-284-7650 (02/26#8368)

Mrs. Graham, Psychic Reader, Advises on all affairs of life, such as love, marriage, and business. She tells your past, present and future. Mrs. Graham does palm, tarot card, and Chakra balancing. She specializes in relationships and reuniting loved ones.

Services

• French Drains • Gutter Drains • Catch Basins • Erosion Control • Waterproofing • Crawl Space

SPECIAL READINGS WITH CARD

MRS. GRAHAM

Call 738-1142 to place your Classified ad!

Pilates