Metro Spirit 03.01.2012 by Metro Spirit

metr o S CONTENTSPIRIT COVER DESIGN | KRUHU

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SPR ING FESTIVAL

Want to advertise in the Metro Spirit? 706.496.2535 or 706.373.3636 Metro Spirit is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks a year. Editorial coverage includes local issues and news, arts, entertainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. Visit us at metrospirit.com.© 15 House, LLC. Owner/Publisher: Joe White. Legal: Phillip Scott Hibbard. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. One copy per person, please.

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INSIDER JENNY IS WRIGHT AUGUSTA TEK AUSTIN RHODES

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INSIDER@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM Insider is an anonymous, opinion-based examination of the hidden details of Augusta politics and personalities.

SIDER

Operation Smoke Screen Clears the Air Odds are that we’re going to be talking about Operation Smoke Screen the way we now talk about Augusta Ink, the undercover sting that garnered nationwide attention for the way deputies and agents used a Tobacco Road tattoo parlor to close the noose on some of Augusta’s most hardened gang members. Though not as dramatic as the undercover sting, cracking down on the city’s runaway burglary problem affects even more of the public, because burglary is a crime that reaches out and touches that much more of the community. Six degrees of separation? Try one. Two, tops. Seven rooms at 401 Walton Way formerly belonging to the court system are now full – full – of flat screen TVs and computers and game systems and lawn mowers and everything else you can imagine. On a walk around after Sheriff Strength’s press conference, reporters were taken down the dark back

stairwell to look at the rooms of items recovered by the operation, and more than a few wondered aloud if any of it could be theirs. The rooms represent more than half a million dollars of stolen property, but the frightening thing about it is, the stuff wasn’t taken by some seasoned, coordinated organization. It was taken by dozens and dozens and dozens of freelance criminals and opportunists. There was no kingpin. There was no hierarchy to dismantle. If one thing was clear, though, it’s that Captain Scott Peebles is the chosen one. That doesn’t necessarily mean now – the operation prevented Strength from announcing whether or not he is going to run (he says he’s made his mind up and will let everyone know mid-March – but it hardly takes a visionary to see that someday, Peebles will be Sheriff. Peebles was at Strength’s side on a stage that held 18 other law enforcement representatives, a literal right hand man. And Strength did his best to single him out, telling the assembled press that Operation Smoke Screen was his baby. Though Strength did most of the on-camera work because it’s the sheriff the cameras want to film – the Sheriff and all those guns – Peebles acted as unofficial host, efficiently and effectively answering questions, guiding reporters and offering his own version of the charm needed to rise to the upper levels of law enforcement. Being personally responsible for giving all those people back there stuff – that won’t hurt, either.

Simon Says Let’s Play Chess Sheriff Strength & Captain Scott Peebles

THUMBS

Best Buy’s thoroughness upon checkout. Surely saving all that personal information will come in handy in case I have a problem with my purchase!

down

Try returning your $50 VGA cord that doesn’t work without a receipt. There’s no record. There’s also no record of the two 56” TV’s, the external hard drive or anything else. Sorry, there’s nothing we can do. Nothing. We. Can. Do.

Keep Your Pants On Thanks to all in the local media who have apparently made “dry humping” an acceptable parlance in news stories. Onward and upward!

METRO SPIRIT 03.01.12

An $830,000 change order is enough to make even the most sane and rational government get a little flustered, so given what we’ve got here in Augusta, it’s no surprise that things surrounding the TEE Center’s smoke exhaust system got a little crazy at Monday’s committee meetings. And given the relationship the city has with Augusta Riverfront LLC, the group that will manage the TEE Center and already manages the convention center while also running the Marriott it’s all connected to, it looks totally ridiculous for the government to spend taxpayer’s money to upgrade the standards of its own building just to comply with the Marriott’s higher (and more expensive) standards. Throw in Augusta Riverfront’s relationship with Billy Morris, who is pretty much Public Enemy #1 to much of Augusta, and the stage is set. The Commission even heard from Augusta Riverfront’s Paul Simon, Public Enemy #2, and you know what? He made sense. First, he talked about all the benefits that being associated with the world’s number one hotel provides, but that’s stuff people either already know or dismiss as PR (or BS), so pretty quickly he laid the facts on the table. When the city voted to build the TEE Center, it had to be built to Marriott standards or Augusta Riverfront wouldn’t be able to operate it, and the commission approved Augusta Riverfront as the operator. That paradox ceases to be an intellectual exercise real quick, though. If you run afoul of Marriott, Augusta Riverfront can’t operate the facility, and if Augusta Riverfront can’t operate the facility, the city would have to separate the TEE Center from the hotel and from the convention center it already owns, which is not only impractical, it’s basically impossible. And Augusta Riverfront knows it. J.R. Hatney, though, didn’t want to hear it. “How can they mandate what this government does?” he asked. “They can’t to you,” Simon said. “But they can to us, because we have a contract with them.” Hatney wanted to know when Simon knew about the requirements, and Simon flat out told him that it wasn’t his job to tell them. V. 23 | NO. 09

“It’s not our place to come meet with you,” he said. “You’re building the building because we, together, have a contract that you will build a building if we would put up the land. We put up the land. We’ll manage it if you build it. That’s the only thing we’re getting out of it.” “You put up the land?” Hatney shot back. “We own the land?” “We’re giving the land to you.” Still unsatisfied, Hatney wanted to know about the liens, and Simon tried to explain it to him. “So I have a letter from the bank that tells me a year and a half ago that if we consented to agree to what they’ve agreed to do, then they will release the lien,” he said. “And so that’s where we are now. They’re ready to release it.” As for the air rights, Simon didn’t shy away from that, either. “That wasn’t our fault,” he said. “We were going to give you land, but we had to change it because of your tax attorney out of Atlanta. You all voted on it – you know about it. But the point is, that’s why we didn’t give you the land. But what difference does it make.” “It makes a big difference,” Hatney responded. “We were instructed that the land was going to be donated to the city before that $12 million building was built on it.” “Talk with your tax lawyer,” Simon said. “Now, since then we’ve agreed that we will take easement and not own land, but you know what happens by doing that? We don’t have to pay any property taxes. We would have been

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Paul Simon paying the other way. It doesn’t matter to us whether we had air rights or an easement. It doesn’t make any difference.” How this impacts the whole TEE Center conversation is unclear, but it does put Simon squarely on the record, which ought to stand for something. Whether it does or not – only time will tell.

METRO SPIRIT 03.01.12

JENNY IS WRIGHT All’s Fair in Love and Birthdays

The Girl is very competitive. Everything has to be fair. If it isn’t fair, she’s fine with it as long as she has the edge. With her birthday being Friday, I’m sure you can understand why I had to write about her. I never thought I’d have a girl. I pictured myself as a mom of boys. When I was pregnant with The Boy, I was pretty sure that he was a boy. We didn’t find out during our second pregnancy either, and I was very sure that I was having a boy. I doubted the “it’s a girl!” announcement immediately following her birth. I asked “are you sure?” Of course they were. She does things in her own way, in her own time. She was born five weeks early. She struggled to breathe at first, but once she did, she let out a perfect little squeal, letting us know that she was okay. She hasn’t really shut up since. With The Boy, the bond was immediate. I can’t explain why, but it took a little longer with The Girl. Sometimes I’m afraid to admit that, as it might appear that I loved her less or didn’t like her as much. That couldn’t be further from the truth. I knew I loved her, and I thought she was the most beautiful (and hairy!) baby girl I’d ever seen. I just didn’t feel it yet. The circumstances surrounding her birth were a bit unusual. I was sick in the days before her birth, and because she was so early, we weren’t quite prepared for her. The Man was sick after she was born, so he couldn’t be with me in the hospital. I didn’t see The Boy much during those days, and when I did, he was scared of being in the hospital. So The Girl and I hung out. At one point, I turned away all visitors. They may not have understood then, but I hoped they would someday. This person and I were strangers. I needed to get to know my baby. Eventually I did, and I realized the love that I knew was there. It just took a little longer with her. In her own time. She is hilarious. She keeps us laughing with her many faces, voices, accents and dances. Lately she’s on a Rue McClanahan southern accent kick. She lays it on thick and syrupy, and we all crack up. She learned how to raise one eyebrow, whistle and blow a bubble long before her brother did. Did I mention that she’s competitive? I think she lies in bed every night practicing stupid human tricks so she can be the most impressive girl on the block. I am impressed. She loves to learn, and there are so many things I can’t wait to teach her. She will help in the kitchen, but she hates to clean her room. She actually thinks her room is clean if everything is shoved under the bed. Ask my dad. She comes by that honestly. I’ll remind her every day that she’s beautiful, in spite of the carefully chosen sparkly shoes or neat little braids. I’ll help her pick out the perfect dress for her first dance, and explain that not all boys are that mean. I’ll promise to love her, laugh with her (and at her! I’m not a total softy!), support her and help her when she asks. I’ll let her go when she’s ready and have to watch from afar. She may like to talk back, and she’ll manufacture a tear for sympathy, but she is the sweetest babygirl. Thank goodness that, although she’s turning six, she still loves a snuggle with her mama. I would say that I hope that never changes; that would raise the creep factor quite a bit. I just hope we still have many years before she thinks I’m not cool. I’ll try not to hover. If she acts like she doesn’t know me, I’ll play along, but deep down, I’ll know that we’re not really strangers anymore. Happy birthday, little girl.

JENNYWRIGHT lives in Summerville with her husband, who she calls The Man, and two kids, who she affectionately calls The Boy and The Girl. She enjoys taking photos, cooking and playing tennis.

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AUGUSTA TEK

A Good Week for Augusta Technology Before I get started here, I want to make one thing perfectly clear – I am a big fan of the technology resources that the Augusta region has to offer. I have written numerous times about the technology school at Fort Gordon, the worldleading nuclear system development at Plant Vogtle, and the medical information technology leadership shown by GHSU and University Hospital. In addition to these, we have numerous technology peaches that reside quietly in our community. From time to time, I’ve had the good fortune to collaborate with several of these organizations. By and large, they are committed to Augusta, and while unheralded, their contribution is very positive. They make you proud to be part of this community. That said, as it stands right now, no independent observer will ever confuse Augusta with San Jose, Austin, Raleigh or any of the other technological forward-leaning regions. The tech communities in these locations still radiate the energy released during last decade’s tech boom. The innovation leaders in these communities work at the very beginning of the adoption cycle, moving from one disruptive technology to another. The critical mass of visionaries and entrepreneurial leadership present in these regions bestow (dare I say it) a certain level of coolness that hasn’t been cultivated in the Garden City. So last week I was encouraged to hear Mayor Copenhaver discuss his Augusta Regional Collaboration (ARC) Project. The ARC project seeks to establish a regional collaboration center to incubate and accelerate new partnerships, new business models and new enterprises. The collaboration center would leverage existing expertise in the region to mentor new entrepreneurs and create an environment that fosters technology start-ups. The Mayor’s initiative is motivated by desire to establish a knowledge-based economy in Augusta where the technical expertise and capabilities of the community provide the region a competitive advantage in attracting capital. So many times I’ve participated in discussions regarding how Augusta possesses all the right components to re-establish itself as the great city it once was. The ARC Project could be the beginning of something really good. Also last week, the Technology Association of Georgia (TAG) held the inaugural meeting for its Augusta chapter. TAG is the leading technology industry association in the state, serving more than 15,000 members. TAG’s mission is to educate, promote, influence and unite Georgia’s technology community. Augusta is one of six markets that TAG will be expanding into during 2012. I believe this organization will provide an opportunity for our community to establish a statewide recognition of our capabilities. My company has already signed on as a corporate member, and I would encourage readers to attend the next TAG Augusta event. In consumer news, it looks like the iPad 3 will be here in mid-to-late March. The latest rumor involves a shipping document posted on Chinese website WeiPhone. According to this document, initial deliveries to the U.S. will begin on March 9th. Another posting on the Chinese site weibo.com presents a leaked price list with the iPad 3 about $70-$80 more than the iPad 2 (iPad 3 16GB WiFi @ $579). Best Buy recently reduced the price of all iPad 2 models by $50, a further indication that the new iPad will be here soon. A company in the UK is marketing an intelligent, cattle collar capable of detecting subtle changes in the animal’s behavior through an integrated 3D motion sensor similar to the Wii. Their status is communicated to the farmer via text over a wireless 3G network. Now when you go out to take care of the herd, you’ll already know which ones are in a bad mooo-ed. How awesome is that? Until next time, I’ll see you on the internet! @gregory_a_baker L8R.

GREGORY A. BAKER, PH.D, is vice president and chief rocket scientist for CMA, which provides information technology services to CSRA businesses and nonprofits. V. 23 | NO. 09

METRO SPIRIT 03.01.12

AUSTIN RHODES

AUSTINRHODES

The views expressed are the opinions of Austin Rhodes and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

Local GOP Power Grab Indefensible As a veteran of this area’s extremely lopsided political wars of the last 47 years (my entire life), I know what it feels like to have “the other side” lie, cheat, and steal in an effort to maintain power and control, and the utter frustration of being on the defeated side of that fight. The recent Republican domination of Georgia state politics is less than 12 years old, even the area’s GOP “stronghold”, Columbia County, has only been in the firm grip of the conservative party since 1990. I lived through the Tom Murphy years. Until 2002, I saw every single (eligible) political vacancy in this state fulfilled by appointed Democrats. I saw rabid Georgia rednecks join forces with black political leaders while hating each other’s guts, to carve out political control of their own crooked fiefdoms for generations. Tom Murphy and Charles Walker? You do the math. So yes, as a conservative Republican born and raised by conservative Republicans in Augusta, Georgia, we knew we were relegated to the back of the political bus. No matter how right our ideas or how strongly we fought for common sense and the Constitutional rights afforded all American citizens, we were not welcome at the table that was the state body politic. We had to sit by and watch as Congressional districts were gerrymandered so completely, as to defy any sense of fair play. (Since former AJC editorial chief Cynthia Tucker took up our cause on that one, you know it had to be bad). We watched government contracts divided among Democrat power brokers like pirates dividing up treasure, and yes, we saw political corruption excused and covered up while elected officials grew rich, richer, and richest. So pardon me if I take a moment and prevail upon our current Republican leadership to take a moment of reflection, and ask them to reconsider before they become a carbon copy of the rat bastard Georgia Democrats we sent packing not so long ago. I understand we reign supreme for the moment, but I refuse to believe that we have forgotten what it feels like to be the “butt monkeys” of the Democrat power elite, screwing us over at every possible opportunity, simply because they could. The local GOP’s current attempt to insert a second Republican state senator into the Augusta legislative delegation is straight out of the Louis Harris/Tom Murphy/Charles Walker Handbook for Dirty Tricks and Unacceptable Political Bull****. (Unabridged)

Currently, we have two state senators on the Augusta delegation, Democrat Hardie Davis and Republican Jesse Stone. The GOP leadership is attempting to slide Columbia County Republican Senator Bill Jackson on the team, by giving him one, tiny sliver of Augusta among his constituents. In a political sense, that is laughable. In the last four Presidential elections, Augusta has shown up for the Dems to the tune of 54% (Clinton), 55% (Gore), 57% (Kerry), and 66% (Obama). Notice a trend there? It ain’t RED. Putting Jackson on the delegation gives the GOP a 2-1 advantage when it comes to local legislation approval, and basically guarantees that whatever the party wants to happen, WILL happen at the state legislative level. The state is going through a much needed political realignment, and while the local state representatives were ALL protected (none were drawn into each other’s districts, which is highly unusual), this move to squeeze Jackson is as an additional member stinks to high heaven. It is morally, intellectually, and ethically indefensible. There is a theory that Jackson (who personally wants NO PART of this plan, by the way) and his Columbia County base, is a far better partner for Hardie Davis and the Augusta delegation, than Jesse Stone and his Burke County base. I wholeheartedly agree with that. So move Stone south, and let Jackson take his place. Problem solved. Except, that would not give the Republican power brokers the local domination they need, and that can’t happen. C’mon conservatives...we are better than that. The state GOP dodged a huge bullet in that more of them did not go under with that mentally disturbed, sex addicted maniac they had for a Speaker. Their lack of serious reform that proves their intent to secure a safe and prosperous state is one thing (at least they claim that it is a work in progress), outright, ugly power grabbing is quite another. God forbid it is necessary, but IF this plan is submitted as final, I hope (and Hell is indeed freezing over as I say this) that the U.S. Justice Department swoops in here and rips up the blueprint in these arrogant butthead’s faces. My family did not fight for decades to win elections in this state just so we could become modern day versions of our most despised enemies. Win influence and votes with better ideas. Leave the political bully tactics to the graveyards holding the rotting political corpses of Murphy and Walker.

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The Big Hug

ERICJOHNSON

Evans festival pairs good food with craft beer Billed as the inaugural Evans Town Center Park Spring Festival, the Metro Spirit, along with Meybohm Realtors, is presenting a day of fun on Saturday, March 10, from 12 p.m. to 7 p.m. The family friendly festival, which is free to the public, will offer festival goers all sorts of outdoor fun, though for many, the combination of craft beer and good food will be enough to have them staying for the entire day. Though you wouldn’t know it from watching a televised sporting event, where the commercial breaks are dominated by large volume beer makers, interest in craft beer is on the rise. “While most of the beer industry was flat last year, craft beer has seen a steady growth over the last eight years,” says Matt Marty, craft and import brand manager for AB Beverage. “It’s consistently growing in popularity.” Though the stereotypical beer drinker is someone who drinks beer to accompany other activities (or just to get drunk), many beer drinkers actually have sophisticated palates. “Craft beer is beer that is made in smaller quantities, and in doing that, you get a better quality,” Marty says. “It’s more hand crafted and there’s more creativity involved.” The craft beer movement started when a few breweries simply got tired of everybody drinking the same American style beer. There was no variety, he says. It was the same thing everywhere you went. By American beer, he’s saying anything that falls in the American Light Lager category – Budweiser, Miller, Coors. “Really, we’re looking for something with more flavor,” he says. “We’re looking for something that has more history behind it and more engineering behind it.” The American Light Lager is very easy to drink, Marty says, but it’s not challenging. It has very little malt profile and very little hops profile. In fact, it has as little of everything as possible. “Drinking beer is a lot more than just consuming a product,” he says. “That’s what I’m trying to instill in people in Augusta right now, and apparently it’s not very easy.” If he’s having a hard time spreading the word, the ETCP Spring Festival should definitely make it easier. With members of the Augusta Home Brewers Club on hand to give free educational talks, the grounds will be filled with plenty of knowledgeable people, and with the large number of different beers to be poured, even the pickiest beer drinker should have no trouble finding something special. The festival will mark the first time Marty has offered Shock Top Wheat IPA in draft form, and along with the regular Shock Top, he’ll also have Magic Hat Circus Boy and about 90 percent of the New Belgium brands. New Belgium is the nation’s second largest craft brewery behind only Samuel Adams. Other popular choices are the chocolate and crème brulee Imperial Stouts from Southern Tier. Aside from several other beers, the festival will include two oneof-a-kind beers, one from New Belgium and a cask from Lazy Magnolia. As for the food, Chef Andrew Crumrine, owner of Crums on Central, is bringing

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METRO

NEWS

his food truck to the event, and in the spirit of the event, he’ll be serving New Belgium beer brats and Lazy Magnolia chili along with his other offerings, which include Bar B Que sandwiches, chicken salad croissants, fries, chips and brownies. His appearance at the festival will give Columbia County diners a taste of one of Richmond County’s finest restaurants from one of the most unique mobile food units around. “I think when most people get a food truck, they go for something the size of a UPS truck,” Crumrine says. “So my biggest problem is just logistically, how do I get from A to B?” A shade less than 40 feet long, the trailer sports logos and has awnings that come down from both sides. Not surprisingly, he pulls it behind a one ton dually. “I have a diesel generator on my truck that powers the whole thing, and it’s got propane gas that heats all the equipment,” he says. “So we’re self sufficient other than the fact that the Health Department wants us to have bathrooms within reach.” Marty is a big fan of the beer-inspired dishes Crumrine’s planning on bringing and says food pairings are a growing part of the craft beer world. “Beer and food pair much better than wine and food,” he says. “It’s arguable, of course, but I’ll go head to head with any wine snob on that conversation.” Wine’s relationship with food is like a handshake, he says, while beer’s relationship is more of a hug. And with the home brewers giving seminars and handing out advice, people will be able to learn what it is, specifically, they like about the beers they like. “To really understand what beer is, you have to know how it’s made, because that’s where all the flavor comes from,” he says. “That’s where the history is.”

METRO SPIRIT 03.01.12

ERICJOHNSON

The Power of the Bowl

Local fundraiser continues to raise money and awareness to fight hunger Eleven years ago, the original Empty Bowl fundraising event brought community members together for a fundraiser with a unique premise. Guests would receive a meal of soup and bread in a hand made ceramic bowl. That bowl, made by local students and artists, would then be taken home to serve as a constant reminder of the very real problem of hunger, both world-wide and in the CSRA. This year’s Empty Bowl event will be from 11 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. on Sunday,

10 METRO SPIRIT 03.01.12

March 11 at the Augusta Jewish Community Center.

While the soups and breads offered this year might be a little more substantial than what was offered that first year, the concept and the spirit of the event remain the same. The soup, bread and drinks are donated from the area’s best restaurants and caterers, and participants are still allowed to take home the one-of-a-kind ceramic bowls. Proceeds from the event go to both the Golden Harvest Food Bank and the Augusta Jewish Community Center. Golden Harvest distributes close to 14.5 million pounds of food through 400 agencies in 30 counties across Georgia and South Carolina. While food distribution is its main activity, Golden Harvest also operates the Masters Table Soup Kitchen in downtown Augusta. Besides providing a food pantry and scholarships, the Augusta Jewish Community Center offers educational, social and cultural programming for all

ages. Westside’s Rebecca Hogue beat out 367 other entries to provide the design for this year’s T-shirt, winning $100 and a chance to be on local TV news. Besides the food, people can participate in the silent auction or enter a raffle to win a bike from Chain Reaction. Bids for the silent auction will be taken from 11:00 a.m. until 3:00 p.m., though anyone who doesn’t want to go through the auction can pay a special “take it with you” price to ensure they get the item or gift certificate they want. Advance tickets are $15 for adults, $5 for children 2-10. Prices at the door will go up -- $20 for adults and $7.50 for children 2-10. Advance tickets can be purchased at the Augusta Jewish Community Center, Golden Harvest Food Bank, North Augusta’s WifeSaver or Weinberger’s Furniture.

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Ruffin’ It

The 2012 Oscars: A Projected Recap The Metro Spirit’s print schedule sometimes throws a wrench in my editorial plans. As I write this, we’re roughly 48 hours away from the Academy Awards (or, if we’re being specific, 48 hours away from Joan Rivers screeching about peep-toe heels in the voices of the thousand flayed souls that gave their skins to construct her face), and because I’ve used up the last of my originality reserves on that joke, I’d like to do an Oscar preview. But by the time this goes to press, they’ll have come and gone, and I’ll have begun circulating yet another petition to get The Dark Knight nominated every year. Now, my deadline isn’t until 5:00 Monday—when Amy begins spamming my inbox with .gifs of an Armageddon clock—so I could just wait till then to write a recap. But since I’m just insane enough to be interesting (and on the payroll, thanks guys), I’m gonna go ahead and bulldoze-while-howling the less-trod path. This, then, is a projected recap. I clearly have poor judgment and tend to harbor grudges—as a result of what I did after Crash won Best Picture in 2005, I’m legally obligated to handcuff myself to a radiator whenever Sandra Bullock ventures further east than Nevada—so this won’t be a reflection of my personal picks, but rather who I think will inevitably win, followed by some possible fallout from the decision, all in the past tense. As a caveat, I realize what a bad idea timeline-jumping is. I pitched the idea to Amy, and she said it sounded like “watching the last two seasons of Lost with single frames of Victorian-era porn spliced in.” Also, please keep in mind that, much like male lawmakers’ penises evidently don’t disqualify them from formulating women’s contraceptive rights, I’m not letting the fact that I haven’t seen half of these movies deter me. Here we go. Best Picture: The Artist Why It Won Come on, man. Besides being a pretty damn good film with an all-star supporting cast (John Goodman, Missi Pyle, Malcolm McDowell), The Artist was bolstered by the benefit of well-executed novelty, something over which the Academy tends to have perpetual stargasms (“A silent film? In the age of digital boobies?! You mad, beautiful sons of bitches!”). The bad publicity surrounding star Jean Dujardin’s recently uncovered cockfighting ring threatened the film’s chances at the 11th hour, but it managed to pull through. Where We Go From Here The Blair Witch effect. In much the same way that “found footage” became a thing, Hollywood will churn out at least one moderate-budget silent film a year. They’ll grow increasingly sh***y until, a decade down the line, something comes along and Chronicles it. Also, everyone will still be too embarrassed to tell Max von Sydow he wasn’t in it. Best Director: Michel Hazanavicius (The Artist) Why He Won What, you thought it would only win Best Picture? This year’s race was not wide-open, and anything that garnered as much buzz as this was bound to win between two and fifteen awards. Anyway, the direction was impeccable, the pacing energetic without being frenetic, and with just the necessary amount of melodrama and camp to stay true to the genre and era. Plus, screw Woody Allen. Where We Go From Here Hazanavicius himself will be able to write his ticket, and hopefully it won’t be Zardoz II. There will, however, be renewed interest in his OSS 117 spy parodies, also starring Jean Dujardin. Much like The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and Funny Games, those films will be remade, shot-for-shot, in English. Hazanavicius will guest-direct a Saturday Night Live skit with Dujardin and George Clooney, referencing the mirror image scene from the Marx Brothers’ Duck Soup, and no one will get it. V. 23 | NO. 09

Best Actor: Gary Oldman (Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy)

In a bit of an upset, Oldman makes the most of his first, criminally belated Oscar nomination. The year’s most subtle, nuanced performance, in a film that is already unbearably tense, Oldman alternately imbued his character with gravitas, vulnerability, and calculating ruthlessness. Also Sirius Black. Where We Go From Here The Dark Knight Rises. There won’t be a higher profile film released this year until The Hobbit in December, and Oldman has been just about the best part of the last two films, Heath Ledger notwithstanding. He’s refreshingly intolerant of the celebrity lifestyle, so it’s pretty safe to say that he’ll keep on picking interesting, artistically rewarding projects, interspersed with the occasional blockbuster. I’ll see the man in literally anything. Even Zardoz II. Best Actress: Viola Davis (The Help) Why She Won Also an upset, Davis’ role is one of only two that is not the subject of a biopic (My Week With Marilyn, Iron Lady) or a remake of an untouchable original (The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo). The other, Glenn Close’s title role in Albert Nobbs, is a bit out there for the Academy’s tastes, so it’s no surprise that film went largely unrecognized. Still, Davis was not a shoe-in; many insiders predicted that Streep would pull out the win despite Iron Lady receiving only marginally positive reviews. Of course, Streep could play a statue of herself in a live-action Family Guy movie and still be nominated, so there’s that. But Davis earned it, and The Help wasn’t getting much Oscar love otherwise, so this was fairly predictable. Where We Go From Here Davis is nigh untouchable. Prior to this, she’d already gotten one Oscar nod for Doubt, and won two Tonys and three Drama Desk awards for her stage work. After the acclaim and subsequent media circus surrounding The Help, she may choose to take one something a bit more lightweight, akin to past turns in Get Rich or Die Tryin’ and whichever Tyler Perry movie was filming that week. But heads are turned, and they are rapt.

JOSHRUFFIN, an ASU and Metro Spirit alum, is a published journalist and poet, who just received his

MFA from Georgia College & State University. He was once the most un-intimidating bouncer at Soul Bar.

METRO SPIRIT 03.01.12 11

CORE O’ NATIONS

By James F. C. Burns / Edited by Will Shortz 77 One of two deliveries? 78 Rap’s Dr. ___ 79 Bonaventures, e.g. 80 Double, maybe 85 Pesto ingredient 87 The House of ___ 88 Baba ___ (Gilda Radner character) 89 Writer Umberto 90 Titles for attys. 91 Ottoman officer 92 Noted tower locale 93 Spring 94 Pac-12 team, for short 95 Shelley’s fairy queen 96 Crafter’s pedal 98 Throng 99 Start for someone seeking advice 102 Place for produce stands 104 It’s pushed in a park 105 Some exams 106 Sparkles 107 Areas 108 N.J. and Pa. each have a famous one 109 Hall of fame

33 “Swans Reflecting Elephants,” e.g. 36 Mischievous one 37 SAT section 39 Whodunit staple 40 “Are you in ___?” 41 Servings of 3-Down 44 Sea salvager’s quest, maybe 45 One-named rapper with the 2008 hit “Paper Planes” 46 Like always 47 Turns down 48 Appraise 49 Mexican shout of elation 50 On the level 51 Colorful bird 53 Lets 55 See 45-Across 58 For immediate lease, say 61 Lord’s Prayer word 63 The 82-Down in “The Lion King” 66 Hogwash 67 Film producer Carlo 70 Bottom of the ocean? 74 Bearded flower DOWN 76 Pricey hors d’oeuvre 1 “Me too” 79 Juilliard subj. 2 Tree trimmers 80 Pricey furs 3 Drink with foam on top 81 Many a Justin Bieber fan 4 “Jumpin’ Jack Flash, it’s ___” 82 African mongoose 5X 83 It’s much thanked once a year 6 Show sympathy, say 84 Common co-op rule 7 Stews 85 They can help worriers 8 Check, as brakes 86 Strengths 9 Halting 87 Gossip 10 Text-speak gasp 88 Ungainly gait 11 Red Cross founder Clara 91 San ___, suburb of San 12 Remove Francisco 13 Wedding staple 92 Israel’s Ehud 14 New Guinea port 93 Wife of 67-Down 15 Unofficial discussions 95 Barley product 16 Something gotten at an amusement 97 O.K. Corral hero park, maybe 98 Eclipse phenomenon 17 Draper’s supply 100 Mythical bird 18 Real ___ 101 Earth cycles: Abbr. 20 Loads 103 1991 book subtitled “When the 22 X, in Roma Lion Roars” 26 Trip up, perhaps 30 Makes an extra effort 32 Little chuckle

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PREVIOUSPUZZLEANSWERS

ACROSS 1 How a bug might go on a windshield 6 Opposite of neither 10 College town SW of Cleveland 17 Hunt 18 Donnybrook 19 Island group that includes Guam 21 Show of affection 23 Balletic 24 Misery causes 25 Ridiculous 27 The first letter of “tsar,” in Cyrillic 28 Sweet ending? 29 Mobile camper, informally 30 Long-migration seabirds 31 Deep Western lake 33 Tied 34 Back to front? 35 Kind of rock 36 Eucharist plate 37 Half of a 1960s pop group 38 O. Henry bad guy who became a Hollywood/TV hero 41 Appropriate, in slang 42 Part of the Confederacy: Abbr. 43 The gold in them thar hills, say 44 Like “vav” in the Hebrew alphabet 45 Aussie “girl” famous for 55-Downing 49 Frizzy dos 51 Tax-free bond, briefly 52 Like leprechauns 54 Your, to Yves 55 Summarize 56 Pot builder 57 Opposite of spring 58 Ryder fleet 59 Record label for Cee Lo and Whitney Houston 60 Some payments: Abbr. 61 Roseanne’s husband on “Roseanne” 62 And others 64 Former European money 65 “Dies ___” 67 Attack with snowballs 68 Lime ___ 69 Not yet decided: Abbr. 70 Public 71 Middle parts of Japan? 72 Home of the N.C.A.A.’s Minutemen 73 Maximally wacky 75 “Fiddler on the Roof” matchmaker

A Z E C L O N E G O O D D I E S T I O F O O L Y M B A L B O N A BOOk R E A L I E A N L E k M E L E M Y W O R E S N I S H O N k E Y E L E T S E L L M E T A L E R S T N O

R A E S BOOk S A L D E S S M I I T Z O R E D S E T S A S Y A

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A R P O P G I L E S E R T P S I T E Y Y O P V R E E A D S S T E I O R Z O BOOk E N T E A R BOOk A B U S D A C H BOOk J A C k E U D Y U L P S S F

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LAURENDeVILLE

Local Literary Express

First Annual Literary Festival making its mark for local authors The First Annual Augusta Literary Festival will debut this Saturday at Augusta’s headquarters branch library, and it’s providing local authors a chance to highlight their work. Approximately 50 authors of different genres will be spread across multiple locations in the library. The event starts at 10 a.m. and is free to the public. The gumbo mix of authors will feature Louise Shivers, who was named Georgia author of the year in 1993 for her work “A Whistling Woman” and “Here to Get My Baby Out of Jail,” the latter of which was made into a feature film called “Summer Heat.” Another local will be former Augusta mayor Bob Young, who will introduce his new book on that day. Corey Washington, who is heading up the festival, said the event is something that caters to local authors. An author himself, Washington is also a teacher at Tutt Middle School, so he’s keenly aware about the importance of literature. “I foresee this being an annual event to happen every year, around the beginning of March,” Washington said. “I envision it being partnered with the local schools here in Augusta to promote literacy.” Augusta’s First Annual Literary Festival joins Columbia County, which will host its fourth Books Alive Literary Festival in June, with Carl Hiaasen as their featured guest. Hiaasen, who is a national author and journalist, writes adult books and young adult books and has had his novels “Strip Tease” and “Hoot” made into motion pictures. Mary Lin Maner, Columbia County library manager, said that they get

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positive feedback from the community, and since Hiaasen will be in town, she expects crowds to be in the thousands. “We have people that come from all around, so we have a good turn out,” Maner said. Another Augusta event, the Porter Fleming Literary Competition, gives writers a chance to compete for cash prizes in a number of different categories. Even though the Augusta Literary Festival will be geared mostly towards

local authors, in coming years Washington hopes to attract one or two national writers. Sherryl James, community service outreach librarian at the library, said that she thought the festival was a great idea when she teamed up with Washington to host it at their new facility. “I thought the library would be appropriate for it,” James said. “I know there is a lot of great talent here and we normally invite one or two authors to do book signings at the library, but for a chance to get them all together at one time — we couldn’t even have asked for a better opportunity.” James said that the festival will feature primarily those local authors

who write about Augusta and Georgia, giving those who would not normally have an audience a chance to showcase their work. “It’s an opportunity for them to get up for the first time in front of an audience and talk about their writing experience and about their book, and it’s absolutely all free,” James said. Washington said that the overall scope of the festival sets the event apart from others because of the number of authors and the fact that it is free to the public. He also said that the library will be filled with novelists and spoken word artists. “This is just a book festival that features everybody,” Washington said.

METRO SPIRIT 03.01.12 13

ERICJOHNSON

Snowballs, Rolling The unlikely story of Port Royal

It’s January of 1991. Downtown Augusta has been a wasteland for more than a decade and Dr. Edouard Servy, a transplanted Frenchman, is in the midst of building Port Royal, one of the most ambitious projects the city has ever seen.

He’s building it on the river. In downtown. And against all odds, it’s shaping up to be an unqualified success. “We are building a 14 story building, but things are going beyond expectations,” Servy says. “A lot of people – physicians, teachers – everybody wants an apartment in the new building.” With its parking garage, shops, condos and European flair, the $50 million project is so popular that Servy and his people have presold all the apartments and all of the spaces in the shopping center. It’s so popular, in fact, that they decided to add four more stories to the condo tower, four additional stories of riverfront, penthouse living. “We’re on top of the world,” Servy remembers. “We are delighted. Everything is great.” It’s January of 1991. By December of 1993, a Miami real estate company buys the property at a foreclosure sale for a $5.2 million. Talking to Edouard Servy now, some 20 years later, you’d never know he was once at the white hot epicenter of Augusta development. Sure, you might notice the painting of Port Royal hanging in his waiting room, but Port Royal is part of the Augusta skyline, so there’s no reason to figure it has any significance beyond that. After all, Servy is a preeminent, established fertility doctor, one of the tops in the field. That’s supposed to be enough achievement for one man. But a little over two decades ago, Servy had a dream, an unlikely dream that, once set in motion, grew larger and larger, accumulating size and speed like a snowball rolling downhill. Of course, snowballs don’t typically last very long in Georgia. Drawn by the Medical College, Servy arrived permanently in Augusta in 1973. He’d spent a year and a half here starting in 1969 and liked it enough to return. He liked the city, its people and most importantly, he liked its potential. Anyone who says they like

Port Royal circa 1992 14 METRO SPIRIT 03.01.12

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a city’s potential has plans for that city, and Servy was no different. First, it was giving it a French restaurant by bringing in Philippe Erramuzpe, whose Chez Philippe became an immediate success. But then he upgrades his dreams. He starts traveling – to Savannah, Charleston, Greenville, France – and he starts compiling ideas, because he’s in his sweetspot of vitality, that certain age where a man’s success, ambition and drive are all at their strongest. “I’m here and I love the city and it’s 1985 or so,” he says, his heavily accented voice pleasantly in the present tense. “I’m 48 years old and I want the city to do well.” When he finally settles on a dream, it has a decidedly European feel. “I thought that it would be nice to have a restaurant and an open market on the river,” he says. “And that was my vision – a small street square, an open market with shops and cafes opening toward the river.” Though that vision is far more modest than the vision hanging from Servy’s wall, it shares a common element – the levee. “We were the first people to think ‘Let’s put the parking garage underneath,’” he says. “In other words, you put the parking garage below the levee level and put the open marketplace on the levee level.” The levee, which had served to protect Augusta from the flooding Savannah River, had also separated the city from its greatest natural resource, and at the time it was getting a lot of attention. Augusta Tomorrow’s master plan for the city actually

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included the river for the first time, which meant the levee had become a destination, not a barrier. To Servy, the levee is as much a part of Augusta as the canal. “The levee is a monument,” he says. “It’s part of the heritage and a lot of blood and sweat has been poured into that levee.” Though he realizes it’s not always a popular opinion, he insists the levee is a community asset. “It’s something that built Augusta, and it should stay there,” he says. “We need to work with it, not against it.” And while his original vision certainly worked with the levee, he didn’t have all the land he needed to see it through. To locate the project where he wanted, on the river at Seventh Street, he needed land that was owned by the Tidwell Printing Company and Georgia Railroad Bank, which later became First Union, then Wachovia and now Wells Fargo. “I had no trouble negotiating with Tidwell, but the Georgia Railroad – the president at the time was Howard Gaines, and he put contingencies on the deal, which threw a monkey wrench in the gears,” Servy says. “He wanted to have a big project, and he wanted Georgia Railroad to take care of the loan.” Because they had what Servy needed, Georgia Railroad got to call the shots, and Servy, though still in control, was seeing his project change before his eyes. “My first project – my dream – was a $5 million project, and I could easily have found investors for that,” he says. “But when Howard Gaines decided to do that, I had to look for something more

important.” Servy’s brother, Andre, was between jobs and joined the team, as did local Wayne Rogers, and together the group began talking to several investors. None were all that interested in doing such a big project in a depressed area like downtown Augusta. “I could have found American investors for a smaller project,” he says. “But for the bigger project, we had to go somewhere else.” Somewhere else turned out to be Indo-Suez, a French bank that was interested in investing in the United States. “They came and they put together a project – a parking garage, a shopping center, a tower for people to live in and a hotel with a conference center,” he says. “My dream, my plans – everything – had to be modified.” Which is why, as impressive as it is, the picture hanging in his waiting room is as inaccurate a representation of his dream as it is an inaccurate representation of what that dream became. The hotel and conference center depicted in the picture were never built. At least not there. At least not by him. So what does it feel like to have your dreams tinkered with by other people? “You’re losing control,” he says. “But it’s getting into a vicious cycle. Everybody’s getting excited and there is a general infatuation in the whole city. Government is happy. The contractors are happy.” All that happiness, though – it made him feel like he was carrying the weight of the city on his back. “You come to a point where there’s no return,” he says. “You have to accomplish the goal, and the goal

METRO SPIRIT 03.01.12 15

view from the penthouse

has changed…and is changing on a daily basis.” Not that it’s all gloom and doom and pressure. There were plenty of perks to be enjoyed, including the sister city program instituted by Mayor Charles DeVaney. “I enjoyed that time,” he says. “I felt we were living in the Golden Age for the city.” DeVaney, who Servy speaks of with obvious admiration, wanted a French sister city, and with everything that was going on at Port Royal, it seemed like the right time to see it through. So they chose a city, Servy’s hometown of Biarritz, and they participated in several promotional trips. Augusta was becoming cosmopolitan. They got to see Jessye Norman perform in France. Biarritz has an Augusta Boulevard and we have a Biarritz Plaza at Port Royal. It’s the kind of outreach, Servy says, that doesn’t happen anymore. “The present mayor is too busy trying to make peace,” he says. “I know Deke very well, and I told him why don’t you organize some trips or restore the sister city program, but they don’t want to do it anymore. He doesn’t have the same caliber of commissioners.” Port Royal wasn’t happening in a vacuum, however. The Riverwalk, with its amphitheater and esplanade, was being constructed, and up river a few blocks, the Augusta Riverfront Center, with its office space, hotel and convention center, was going up, too, and the two groups ended up vying

16 METRO SPIRIT 03.01.12

for a $3.5 million Urban Development Action Grant (UDAG). . Ultimately, the UDAG went to the Augusta Riverfront Center to develop the Radisson. The loan was later forgiven, which has generated controversy over the years from those suspicious of the relationship the project’s major figures, Billy Morris and Paul Simon, have with the government. Losing the grant proved to be a significant blow to Port Royal, however. “The problem was, the investors – the French banks – said that if they

didn’t get the $3.5 million, they weren’t going to build the convention center,” Servy says. “Personally, considering the amount of money they spent to embellish the project, it was a drop in the bucket.” However, with the downtown area still effectively dead, the Shoppes at Port Royal would need the hotel and convention center traffic to stay viable, and while the Radisson did open in February of 1992, the Riverwalk didn’t prove to be a connector. Servy was obviously concerned, but by this time the French were basically in charge of the project.

“In other words, every time we were doing something, we had to ask permission,” Servy says. “They were financing everything. The only thing we could do was give advice.” Another aspect of the project that didn’t see fruition was the build out of the South Carolina side. Then nothing more than marshy woods, Servy was actually actively working with investors to build a golf course. “We felt this would be a great thing for the project and a great thing for the riverfront,” he says. The final plan had two Par 5s, a clubhouse, a restaurant and a water V. 23 | NO. 09

shuttle running from Port Royal to the clubhouse and then to the Riverfront Center. “At the time we were thinking of getting a European investor, but when the project started going down, nobody from Europe wanted to come here.” And there wasn’t much, personally, he could do about it, which must have made it awkward. “Yes and no,” he says. “Now, the liability is not mine, it’s theirs, and that saved me in some ways, because as you’re going to see at the end of the story – I didn’t make any money from it, but I didn’t lose any money, either.” Which brings us back to January, 1991, before hindsight made all the missteps clear. They’ve presold the condos and presold the retail, and it’s all local money. The community has bought into the project in a major way, but then the Gulf War begins and another snowball, the recession, starts picking up speed. Suddenly, all those happy people who bought into the dream are scrambling around trying to cash in their chips before the economy rolls any farther down hill. “I think they were skittish about what happened and they just didn’t want to invest anymore into a building or into an apartment,” he says. “Some came back later on, but they just didn’t want to do it. And because they were all local, they already had a place to live.” Port Royal’s only insurance against that kind of mass exodus, the contracts, were so poorly drawn that not only did they have to let them out of their contracts, they had to return the down payments as well. “We said, ‘How come this happened – can’t we do something?’” Servy remembers. “I’m asking questions. I’m talking to our lawyer, talking to another lawyer, but they say ‘Sorry – that’s the way the contract was drawn.’” Only three stores and five condo owners stayed. Three out of 16, five out of 56. It’s here that the story takes its sharpest turn, veering dramatically from impressive promise to the glitzy, flawed actuality people remember. But first the French came. They wanted to evaluate the situation. There were lots of tense meetings with lots of hand wringing and lots of smoking. Servy suggests a moratorium – a year, maybe 18 months – to let the economy bounce back, but the French refuse. According to their calculations, a moratorium would cost $5 million, and that’s $5 million they’re unwilling to spend. Instead, a consultant comes in and decides the project needs the kind of sizzle Augusta can’t provide. So they V. 23 | NO. 09

interior penthouse bring in the Blue Moon Saloon, a glamorous bar out of Kentucky, and they bring in restaurants from Hilton Head. And because the businesses are given a tenant allowance – they’re basically paid to come in – they’re happy to ignore the problems and come. The flagship is a luxury department

store called Colette. It wasn’t brought in, it was actually created to fill the need. By the time the building opens, with considerable hoopla, the tower isn’t close to full and the shops are half occupied. By February, 1992, two restaurants have filed for Chapter 11 protection and by November, Colette announces its closure. The property loses $40 million in about five months. In December, 1993, 1st Equitable Realty of Miami purchases the property for $5.2 million, and of course fingers start pointing. People start snooping around asking questions, trying to see if Servy had embezzled any money. While the condos eventually established themselves, reaching full occupancy in the winter of 1997, the 144,000 square feet of retail space was

purchased by Billy Morris, then given to the National Science Center for the Fort Discovery museum, which closed in 2010. The Fort Discovery portion was recently sold to a California businessman for $2.1 million. Servy, who lived in the penthouse for a couple of years, eventually moved back to Summerville, where his wife could have a yard. Around town he frequently encounters the people who abandoned the project during the recession, but he insists he doesn’t hold a grudge. In fact, he remains proud of the building his dreams left behind. “I still feel that we have accomplished something,” he says. “We have given Augusta a new landmark and we have put more emphasis on the desire to come back downtown. Does he ever get the itch to dream again? “During the project, I used my personal lawyer and my personal accountant, who had been with me since I started working,” he says. “They suffered with me, laughed with me, and at the end of the whole thing, my accountant was a wise man and said, ‘Edouard – I think you need to keep your eyes on the ball.” In other words, no more buildings.

METRO SPIRIT 03.01.12 17

TERENCEBARBER

Your Weird Week in Crime Is Augusta-Richmond County really as crime ridden as you think it is? What kind of crime is actually going on? The Metro Spirit sifts through the incident reports to find out.

One count of: Forgery Financial fraud Attempted armed robbery Armed robbery Public peace disturbance Possession of drug paraphernalia Burglary with forced entry (daytime) Burglary with forced entry (time unknown) Two counts of: Attempted auto theft Auto theft Invasion of privacy Assault Identity fraud Recovered vehicle Three counts of: Property damage Nine counts of: Larceny (both felony and misdemeanor)

Tuesday, February 21

One count of: Attempted auto theft Auto theft Invasion of privacy Property damage Assault Financial fraud Public peace disturbance Burglary with forced entry (daytime) Two counts of: Burglary with forced entry (time unknown) 11 counts of: Larceny (both felony and misdemeanor)

F W

Friday, February 24

Wednesday, February 22

One count of: Public peace disturbance Burglary with no forced entry (daytime) Theft by deception

Two counts of: Burglary with no forced entry (night time) Burglary with forced entry (time unknown) Financial fraud Forgery Property damage Three counts of: Identity fraud Four counts of: Assault Five counts of: Invasion of privacy Eight counts of: Larceny (both felony and misdemeanor)

Thursday, February 23

One count of: Forgery Public peace disturbance Financial fraud Invasion of privacy Burglary with forced entry (time unknown) Weapon offense Two counts of: Burglary with forced entry (daytime) Property damage Three counts of: Assault Nine counts of: Larceny (both felony and misdemeanor)

Given Operation Smoke Screen, maybe next week’s crime column won’t be so long.

One count of: Sale of title pawn Marijuana possession Theft by deception Attempted auto theft Property damage Public peace disturbance Obstructing police Financial fraud Terroristic threats Weapon offense (possession by felon) Recovered vehicle Two counts of: Burglary with force entry (daytime) Auto theft Four counts of: Assault Invasion of privacy Larceny (both felony and misdemeanor)

Saturday, February 25

One count of: Auto theft Assault Obstructing police Weapon offense (possession by felon) Theft/mislaid property Burglary with forced entry (night time) Burglary with forced entry (time unknown) Financial fraud Four counts of: Invasion of privacy Ten counts of: Larceny (both felony and misdemeanor)

Sunday, February 26

One count of: Property damage Civil dispute Misc. Criminal offenses Suspicious situations Obstructing police Burglary with forced entry (daytime) Two counts of: Assault Theft/mislaid property Auto theft Ten counts of: Larceny (both felony and misdemeanor)

18 METRO SPIRIT 03.01.12

Stolen items for the week:

Monday, February 20

$800 of copper wiring Smart phone Laptop Wallet Various flat screens $100 Driver’s licenses A bottle of Poco Rabanne One Million A bottle of YSL Two Beautiful make-up kits Basketball shorts Effexor Hydrocodone Clonazepam Reeboks Cologne Eight bottles of perfume Black Pontiac 60 Loratab 60 Zanax 60 Soma Inhaler E-machine laptop Green GM van camper Burgundy Isuzu RODE $300 in perfume Cell phones Car stereos Trailer mount lift Car battery Starburst Two cartons of Newports Keys 15 feet of copper wire 312 feet of tin fence Four bottles of perfume Cable boxes $14 Social Security cards Acer laptop Two PS3’s and a controller Cashbox from carwash $80 Diamond ring 30 pack of Budweiser and Bud light Book bags College textbooks Purse Bicycles Jewelry box Sony PSP Nintendo DS Wahl Hair clippers Andes Hair clippers Earrings Necklaces $220 Burgundy Nissan White Chevrolet Truck tires Draw tongue from mobile home Aluminum Chiminea Tan Nissan Two cash registers with $18 in change from RSVP Catering 80 Loratab Ten Clodine Pressure washer HTC Inspire Garmin GPS Car keys Watches Duralast car battery $800 Silver Dodge Durango Radar deflector Detachable radio face plate 840 Watt amps Kicker 12 in speakers Auxiliary cable $30 in silver coins Child support check White Honda Pilot Red Gucci bag Black purse Bolt action Remington 270 rifle with scope 600 rounds of 9mm ammo A box of 38 cal. Ammo Two boxes of 12 gauge shotgun ammo Two bags of Dog food Pants Boxer briefs Belt Fleece pullover Duck pants Perfect Tee Glade refills Gloves Winter gloves Sleep pants Sleep shorts Twill shorts

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ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED

LERALYNN

R.U.N.E

Lee Ann Womack is a country singer known for a body of work that strongly reminds listeners of several of her predecessors, most notably Dolly Parton. Despite the twangy tunes filled with tales of cheating men and lost love, it is her crossover hit “I Hope You Dance” that this blonde bombshell is known for. Released in 2000, that song still gets a ton of airplay even today, making Womack a lasting and impressive frontrunner in country’s pack of strong female singers. She brings her soaring voice and tough as nails attitude to The Country Club in a fundraiser that benefits the Jud C. Hickey Center for Alzheimer’s Care.

Music for Memories | The Country Club Thursday, March 1 | 8:30 p.m. $20; $25 at the door | 706.738.5039

judchickeycenter.org V. 23 | NO. 09

METRO SPIRIT 03.01.12 19

ENTERTAIN

ME Symphony Orchestra Augusta, joined by Windborne, celebrates the music of the King of Pop at Pops! at the Bell: The Music of Michael Jackson on Thursday, March 8, at 7:30 p.m. at the Bell Auditorium. There’ll be moonwalking in the aisles, so you don’t want to miss it. Call 706-826-4705 or visit soaugusta.org.

Arts

Ms. Charlene’s Art Show and Sale is Friday, March 2, from 2-4 p.m., and Saturday, March 3, from 4-6 p.m., at Evans University Healthcare Building 2E. The artists, ages 4-94, will be on hand and work starts at $25. Call 706-699-9194 or email ladypastel60@comcast.net. Athens Indie Craftstravaganzaa is accepting applications for artist to the market, which will be held April 28-29. Deadline is March 5. Visit athensindiecraftstravaganzaa.com. The Art Works of John Daso, a selftaught folk art painter from Augusta, is Thursday, March 8, at 6 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Spring Classes, camps and workshops at the Aiken Center for the Arts begin in March and end in May. Registration for these programs for children, teens and adults, is going on now. Call 803-64120 METRO SPIRIT 03.01.12

9094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org. Day of Art, hosted by the North Augusta Artists Guild, is each Tuesday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. at the Arts and Heritage Center and includes a group of artists painting in the center who will answer questions or allow visitors to join in. Call 803-441-4380 or visit artsandheritagecenter.com.

Exhibitions

2012 Juried Student Art Show, judged by Ted Saupe, shows through March 16 at the Mary S. Byrd Gallery of Art at Augusta State University. Call 706-6674888 or visit aug.edu. Lindy Crandell Art Exhibit, featuring works in oil, pastels and colored pencil, shows March 1-30 at the Aiken Art Guild Gallery at the Aiken Center for the Arts. Call 803-278-0709 or visit aikenartistguild.org. Working South: Paintings and Sketches

by Mary Whyte shows through March 11 at the Morris Museum of Art. Call 706724-7501 or visit themorris.org. Leo Twiggs, Mel Holston and Nancy Wyman Ray Exhibitions show at the Aiken Center for the Arts through March 23. Call 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org. African American Trailblazers of Augusta shows through March 31 at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History. $2-$5. Call 706-724-3576 or visit lucycraftlaneymuseum.com. Fore! Images in Golf Art, featuring 25 paintings, photographs and drawings, shows through April 15 at the Morris Museum of Art. Featured artists include LeRoy Neiman, Will Barnet, Tim Clark and Ray Ellis. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org.

Music

The Augusta Blues Festival, featuring V. 23 | NO. 09

the Klass Band, Clarence Carter and more, is Friday, March 2, at 8 p.m. at the Bell Auditorium. $39.50-$46.50. Call 877-4AUGTIX or visit georgialinatix.com. The Don Macey Jazz Trio performs a free concert at noon on Tuesday, March 6, at St. Paul’s Church as part of the Tuesday’s Music Live series. Lunch, following the concert, is catered by Crums on Central and is available by pre-paid reservation only. Call 706-7223463 or visit tuesdaysmusiclive.com. Elton John and His Band perform at the James Brown Arena Tuesday, March 6, at 8 p.m. $49-$139. Call 877-4AUGTIX or visit georgialinatix.com. Pops! at the Bell: The Music of Michael Jackson, a Symphony Orchestra Augusta production featuring Windborne, is Thursday, March 8, at 7:30 p.m. at the Bell Auditorium. Call 706-826-4705 or visit soaugusta.org. The Augusta Choral Society is offering a $300 scholarship to high school seniors who have contributed their vocal musical talents to the area. The application, due April 14, is available online, as is further criteria. Call 706-826-4713 or visit augustachoralsociety.org. The Salvation Army School of the Performing Arts holds classes each Tuesday. Included is instruction in piano, drums, guitar, voice and brass. Call 706364-4069 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Literary

Augusta Literary Festival, featuring book discussions, book signing, prize giveaways and appearances by more than 50 local authors, is Saturday, March 3, from 10 a.m.-3:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Book Talk with Michael Ryan, author of “The Last Freedom,” is Monday, March 5 at the Columbia County Library. Call 706863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. Poetry Matters is accepting entries through March 23 for their annual poetry contest. Cash prizes will be give out. Categories are middle and high school, adults and seniors. Visit poetrymatterscelebration.com. Nook tutorials at Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall are each Saturday beginning at noon, followed by a V. 23 | NO. 09

Nookcolor tutorial at 12:30 p.m. Free. Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com.

Dance

Tango Night is every Thursday, 7-9:30 p.m., at Casa Blanca Cafe, 936 Broad Street. Call 706-504-3431 or visit casablancatime.com. Belly Dance Class is every Tuesday at 6 p.m. at Euchee Creek Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-5560594 or visit ecgrl.org. Augusta International Folk Dance Club meets Tuesday nights from 7:30-9:30 p.m. at the Augusta Ballet Studio on 2941 Walton Way. No partners needed. First visit free. Call 706-399-2477.

Theater

“Children of Eden,” a two-act pop-rock musical produced by the Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre, shows March 2-3 and 9-11, with dinner at 7 p.m. and the show beginning at 8 p.m. $25-$40. Call 706793-8552 or visit fortgordon.com. “You Can’t Take It With You…,” a production of the ACP Youth Wing, shows March 2-3 at 8 p.m. at the URS Center for the Performing Arts in Aiken. Call 803-648-1438 or visit acp1011.com.

Call us today at 706.667.9009

Auditions for “Game Show,” a production of the Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre that shows May 11-12, 18-19 and 24-26, are Monday-Tuesday, March 5-6, at 7:30 p.m. Part for 1-3 women and 5-7 men are available. Call 706-793-8552 or email steven.r.walpert.naf@mail.mil. Auditions for Enopion Theatre Company’s production of “The Prince is Giving a Ball are each Thursday through March 15 by appointment. The production shows in Augusta. Call 706-771-7777 or visit enopion.com. The Columbia County Amateur Series is looking for acts to perform at the Columbia County Amphitheater. Signup continues through March 31. Call 706-868-3349 or email ccook@ columbiacountyga.gov.

Flix

“!Women Art Revolution” shows Monday, March 5, at 7 p.m. at ASU’s University Hall, Room 170. $2. Call 706-729-2416 or visit aug.edu.

Special Events

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Market and the shops at Central Avenue and Kings Way, is Thursday, March 1, from 5-8 p.m. The event features former Augusta Mayor Bob Young, author of “Treasure Train,” artists Yong Alford and Meredith McPherson, jewelry designer Susan Senn-Davis, Historic Augusta and more. Call 706-364-8479.

reservation. Call 706-724-0436 or visit historicaugusta.org.

60th Annual Junior League Attic Sale Preview Party is Friday, March 2, from 7-10 p.m. at the Augusta Exchange Club Fairgrounds, and includes dinner, music, raffles, a children’s boutique and first crack at the bargains. $20. Call 706736-0033 or visit jlaugusta.org.

AARP Tax Help is offered through March on Monday, 10 a.m.-2 p.m., at Euchee Creek Branch Library; Tuesday and Thursday, 10 a.m.-2 p.m., at the Columbia County Library; Wednesday-Friday, 10 a.m.-2 p.m., at the Headquarters Branch Library; Thursday, noon-4 p.m., and Friday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-2 p.m., at Maxwell Library. Visit ecgrl.org.

19th Annual Morris Museum of Art Gala, featuring food, entertainment, dance and a raffle, as well as the exhibition Working South: Paintings and Sketches by Mary Whyte, is Friday, March 2 at 7 p.m. at the museum. Call 706-828-3825 or visit themorris.org. 60th Annual Junior League Attic Sale is Saturday, March 3, from 7 a.m.-2 p.m. at the Augusta Exchange Club Fairgrounds, and includes children’s clothing, household items, books, electronics, furniture, appliances and more. Free admission; cash only. Call 706-736-0033 or visit jlaugusta.org. Purim Carnival at the Augusta Jewish Community Center is Sunday, March 4, beginning with a performance by the AJCC Sunday School Choir at 11:30 a.m. The festival includes lunch from noon-1 p.m. (free for members; $5 for guests), and the carnival from 12:30-2:30 p.m. Tickets, four for $1 or 22 for $5, are good for activities that include moon walk, face painting and more. Call 706228-3636 or visit augustajcc.org. Goodwill Job Fair is Thursday, March 8, from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. at the South Augusta Job Connection on Peach Orchard Road. Call 706-790-8500 or visit goodwillworks.org. BBQ & Jeans on Greene is Thursday, March 8, at 7:30 p.m. at Sacred Heart Cultural Center and includes food from WifeSaver, music from The Favors and raffles. $35; raffle tickets are $10 for one or $25 for three. Call 706-826-4700 or visit sacredheartaugusta.org. Tours of the Boyhood Home of President Woodrow Wilson are Tuesday-Saturday from 10 a.m.-4 p.m., on the hour, at 415 Seventh Street. $3-$5; free for children under 5. Groups of 10 or more need a 22 METRO SPIRIT 03.01.12

Weekly Wine Tastings at Vineyard Wine Market in Evans are each Friday from 4:30-6:30 p.m. and each Saturday from 1-6 p.m. Call 706-922-9463 or visit vine11.com.

Call for applications: the Fort Gordon Spouses and Civilians Club funds, services or supplies to deserving organizations or individuals as part of their Grants and Services program. Deadline: March 1. Call Debbie Franco at 706-495-7181 or visit fgscc.com. The 2012 Miss Georgia Peach Scholarship Competition is Saturday, March 17, at the Pettigrew Center at Fort Valley State University. Georgia girls, ages 4-24, are eligible. Entry deadline is March 10. Visit missgeorgiapeach.org.

Health

Cribs for Kids, a sleep education program for parents to help reduce the risk of infant injury, is Thursday, March 1, at 5:45 p.m. at GHSU’s 1225 Walton Way Building. Medicare, Peachcare or WICC families will receive a portable crib, fitted sheet, sleep sac and pacifier for $10. Pre-registration required. Call 706-7217606 or visit georgiahealth.org. Center for Women Tour is Thursday, March 1, at 7 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Pre-registration required. Call 706-6512229 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Child Safety Seat Inspections, sponsored by Safe Kids East Central, are available by appointment on Friday, March 2, at GHSU’s Building 1010C. Call 706-7217606 or visit georgiahealth.org/safekids. Weekend Childbirth Education Class meets Friday, March 2, from 6:30-9:30 p.m. and Saturday, March 3, from 9 a.m.-5:30 p.m. at University Hospital. Pre-registration required. Call 706-7742825 or visit universityhealth.org. Baby Care Basics and Breastfeeding, a two V. 23 | NO. 09

in one class, is Saturday, March 3, from 9 a.m.-noon at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. Pre-registration required. Call 706-4817727 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Total Joint Replacement Class meets Tuesday, March 6, at 1 p.m. at Levi Hill III Auditorium. Call 706-774-2760 or visit universityhealth.org.

Family Focused Childbirth Tour is Monday, March 5, at 2 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. Pre-registration required. Call 706481-7727 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Fresh Start Smoking Cessation, a foursession class, meets each Tuesday in March, beginning March 6, at 6 p.m. at the University Hospital cafeteria. Pre-registration required. Call 706-7748094 or visit universityhealth.org.

Look Good, Feel Better, an American Cancer Center program for women with cancer, is Monday, March 5, at 3 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Pre-registration required. Call 706-651-4343 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Childbirth Preparation Classes at University Hospital meet Mondays, March 5-26, Tuesdays, March 6-27, and Wednesdays, March 7-28, at 7 p.m. Pre-registration required. Call 706-7742825 or visit universityhealth.org. Augusta Birth Network meets Monday, March 5, at 7 p.m. at Earth Fare. Visit augustabirthnetwork.org. Lymphedema Education Class is Tuesday, March 6, at noon at University Hospital’s Breast Health Center. Visit universityhealth.org.

V. 23 | NO. 09

Ready & Able, a three-session class for women in their third trimester of pregnancy, begins Tuesday, March 6, at 7 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Pre-registration required. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Infant CPR Class is Wednesday, March 7, at 6 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. Pre-registration required. Call 706-4817727 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Natural Family Planning Class is Wednesday, March 7, at 7 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. Pre-registration required. Call 706-481-7604 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Bariatric Seminar is Thursday, March 8, at 1:30 p.m. at Doctors Hospital.

Pre-registration required. Call 706-6514343 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

Columbia Fire Rescue. Call 706-7217606 or visit georgiahealth.org/safekids.

GHSU’s Children’s Medical Center Car Seat Class is Thursday, March 8, at 5:45 p.m. at Building 1010C. $10; pre-registration required. Call 706-7217606 or visit georgiahealth.org/kids.

Joint Efforts, presented by Trinity Hospital of Augusta, meets every Thursday from 11-11:45 a.m. at Augusta Bone and Joint, and features a free seminar about knee and hip pain, treatments, medication, food and exercise. Call 706481-7604 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Women’s Center Tour is Thursday, March 8, at 7 p.m. at University Hospital. Pre-registration required. Call 706-7742825 or visit universityhealth.org. Baby 101, an infant care class, is Thursday, March 8, at 7 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Preregistration required. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

Infant CPR Anytime Learning Program will be held Thursdays at 6:30 p.m. at the first floor information desk (west entrance) of Georgia Health Sciences

Weight Loss Seminar, sponsored by GHSU’s Weight Loss Center, is Thursday, March 8, at 7 p.m. at the Columbia County Library in Evans. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706721-2609 or visit georgiahealth.org/ weightloss. Child Safety Seat Inspections and Car Seat Class, sponsored by Safe Kids East Central, are offered by appointment at either the Safe Kids Office or Martinez-

METRO SPIRIT 03.01.12 23

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ZUMBA YOGA FIT

ZUMBA Zumba FUNK AEROBICS

ZUMBA

BELLY GROOVE

FRIDAY CYCLE

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

ZUMBA YOGA

ABS. CORE & MORE (30)

TIME 5:30AM 9:00AM 5:30PM 6:45PM

MONDAY CYCLE

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY CYCLE

THURSDAY

CYCLE

TIME 6:00AM 8:30AM 8:45am 9:00AM 9:45pm 10:15AM 4:30PM 5:00PM 5:30PM 6:00PM 6:30PM 7:00PM

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aqua fit zumba

pilates

aqua fit zumba

pilates

FRIDAY CX Worx zumba gold aqua fit

AIKEN

9:45am 10:00AM 10:30am 11:00am 5:30PM 5:45pm 6:00PM 6:30PM 7:00PM

per month

SUNDAY

ZUMBA

ZUMBA ZUMBA

ZUMBA

ZUMBA AQUA FIT/zumba

9:30am

$10

SATURDAY

TIME 5:30AM 8:30AM 5:30PM

cx worx yoga stretch zumba

cx worx

yoga stretch zumba

cx worx

ZUMBA YOGA

line dancing

line dancing aqua zumba

yoga aqua zumba

yoga zumba

cx worx zumba

cx worx

zumba MONDAY

TUESDAY power ride

zumba WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY power ride

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

no commitment | month - to - month

no kidding

*amenities vary by location | Walton Way is $19.99 per month

GOLD’S GYM: JANUARY 2012 |p.3

Just Getting Started

Phase 2 Fit to Be Gold runner-up takes her fitness journey to the next level

If there’s one thing people wishing to lose weight and get into shape can learn from Mary Jane Howell, it’s that it’s never to late to start. Although Mary Jane says it seems like another lifetime, she began her weight-loss journey a little over a year ago. That’s when the Aiken resident and former public relations director for the well-known Dogwood Stables decided that, at age 50, she needed to lose some weight. So, at about 210 pounds, she walked into Gold’s Gym. “And then, when Tony [Dempsey] and Megan [Bohlander] with Premier Fitness came in, we just clicked,” Mary Jane said. “Tony was very serious about doing what their clients needed but not being afraid to push them. Megan was my first trainer and she was just fabulous.” She had already lost 15 pounds when Gold’s Gym began Phase 2 of its Fit to Be Gold weight loss change. “So I told Megan that we needed to kick this up a notch and asked her if she thought this was something I’d be good at, and she said, ‘Absolutely!’ She was so supportive.” “Good at” turned out to be an understatement. “That contest really changed so much of my life,” Mary Jane said. “I realized I was a competitive person for the first time. I said that if I was in this contest, I was going to win. And I probably would have if I hadn’t gotten sick.” After Fit to Be Gold was over, Mary Jane found that she had lost 30 pounds and 15.19 percent in body fat. But she also found that she was itching to try something new. A fortuitous trip to the dentist’s office and a magazine’s strength training story was all she needed to get the wheels turning. “I was reading Men’s Health in the dentist’s office and there was an article on strength training that said, and I’m paraphrasing, that all you need to get strong are three moves: dead lifts, squats and bench presses,” she said. “That’s all you need to do if you do it properly.” Mary Jane said she’d never thought about strength training before, but was excited at the prospect. So she copied the story and took it to Marcus, her new trainer. He was just as excited, she said. “So we started that in the fall,” she said. “And, in the beginning, just with the bar without any weights on it. I meet with him three times a week and never do all three exercises at once, and I have gotten so strong. You don’t bulk up, but you burn fat and I’ve gone down more sizes in my clothes from when I was in the contest. It’s very empowering.” Mary Jane, who has always had horses and worked on farms, says she’s constantly amazed at what strength training has done for her. Throwing bales of hay like they are toothpicks? No problem. But, she cautions, it’s important for those considering a strength-training regimen to keep one thing in mind. “It’s important to have a trainer for this so that you don’t get hurt and to make sure you’re in a good position when you’re doing the exercises,” she said. “Marcus absolutely keeps an eye on me.” Aside from taking precautions, however, she encourages everyone to give weights a try. “To be a woman at my age and be able to deadlift 205 pounds?” she said. “All the other guys at the gym, their eyes bug out. And other women at the gym tell me they wish they could do it to. And I say to them, ‘You can!’”

per month

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< Phase 4 of the Fit to Be Gold

Challenge begins on March 5.

no commitment | month - to - month

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>Get Ready for Spring Time

Get Your Kid Off the Couch

As Spring Time and Bathing Suit Season are coming upon us, ask yourself “Am I sticking to my plan? Am I losing the pounds and inches I envisioned? Are my stamina, endurance and energy levels increasing? Do I feel like I am getting stronger? Do I feel like those flabby areas I wanted to tone up are getting tighter? Do I feel like I’m being able to When First Lady Michelle Obama chose to focus on the fight against childhood obesity, she pointed a manage the stress of my life in a better way?” spotlight on an alarming and growing problem. These are the key things that you need to look in the “Over the past three decades childhood obesity rates in America have tripled,” according to a statement by mirror and answer truthfully. If the answer to any of the First Lady’s “Let’s Move!” initiative. “If we don’t solve this problem, one-third of all children born in 2000 those questions is “no,” then the next question should or later will suffer from diabetes at some point in their lives.” be, “Why don’t I care enough about myself to focus In an article in the New England Journal of Medicine, researchers stated that due to obesity-related conditions like on improving my overall well-being and quality of diabetes and heart disease the current generation of youth could have a shorter life expectancy than their parents — life?” for the first time in American history. It’s not too late to start a plan of action. Put There’s a simple reason: Technology has made us less active while food portions have as much as quintupled. Most down on paper the top three things you want children spend up to seven hours a day at the computer or TV. In fact, only a third of them get in enough aerobic to accomplish in the next 90 days. Then write activity (the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services recommends 60 minutes per day) and many schools are out a plan to address how to accomplish those cutting back on physical education programs. desires. So how can you encourage your kids to keep active — and make sure that they grow up instead of out? We asked Len Let’s use losing weight as an example. The Saunders, an American Heart Association spokesperson on childhood obesity and the creator of Project Aces, a yearly next time you step foot in a gym, have a event where schoolchildren worldwide exercise simultaneously. plan and a purpose. Walk up to a trainer First, he advises, bear in mind that as a parent, you hold the key. who can put you on the path to accomplish “You’re the role model,” he says, “and if your children see you living an unhealthy lifestyle, they are going to mimic that.” your goals. Ask for an hour of their time So make sure that your family places a high priority on healthy eating and to talk about your individual goals, to talk regular exercise. about the timeline in which you want to “Second,” he says, “try not to use television as a babysitter too often.” reach them, and, most importantly, what’s You don’t want your child to make a habit of plopping down on the allowed you to feel the way you do about couch — the American Academy of Pediatrics suggests setting a twoyourself and your quality of life hour limit on screen time — and a recent study showed that children today. Why do you really want who are continually exposed to food advertisements down 45 percent to make these changes? more snacks. Saunders realizes that most parents have busy schedules Across all four of the that make it hard to entertain their kids and get through their to-do Gold’s Gyms in the CSRA list — “I went for a jog at 11 last night,” he admits — but getting your there are over 40 trainers kids to be more active is easier than you think. “You just need to be at your disposal. creative,” he says. The Premier Fitness Here are surefire ways to get kids of any age off the couch. training staff wants to make your plan of action a reality! Ages 2-4 All Gold’s Gym Children in this age group are the easiest to get moving — they have tons of members may energy and are too young for Xbox addiction. A trip to the local jungle gym take advantage might be all the impetus your kids need to run wild — but even if you’re of a complimentary housebound, you can get them moving: fitness assessment and training • Put the chicken dance or Macarena on YouTube and ask them to join in. • Get their imagination going by having them crawl like a lion or hop like a kangaroo. • Make letters with your body and have them mimic you. They can learn the alphabet and play at the same time.

With one in three American children now overweight, how do you keep your kids from joining the heavy ranks? Gold’s Gym provides you with an expert plan for children of all ages.

>ACTIVATE YOUR TODDLER

>POWER UP YOUR PRIMARY SCHOOL AGE CHILD

session to help put you be on the right path to success in 2012! Now that you know this is an option, there are no excuses for you to keep feeling like your goals are unattainable and unrealistic. Remember, it all starts with a plan and then it is about executing the plan and Premier Fitness wants to help you MAKE IT HAPPEN! See you in the gym Premier Fitness Staff

Ages 5-9 While most five- to nine-year-olds feel the draw of technology, they still have tons of energy and a constant drive to play. So swap out video game marathons for these activities: • Have them help you with housework. “Most kids this age actually want to vacuum; they think it’s fun,” says Saunders. • Organize pick-up softball or ultimate Frisbee in your backyard, or sign them up for a little league team. • Once they learn to ride a bike, schedule family fun rides and find safe routes that they can take when you are too busy to go out. • During the fall and winter, make a game out of who can clear the most leaves or snow in the quickest time. Winner gets hot chocolate.

>MOTIVATE YOUR TWEEN

Ages 10-13 As children’s ages hit the double digits, so does their sense of independence. “They are going to want to stay up later and spend more time on the computer,” Saunders says. He suggests a two-for-one swap where the kids get one minute of computer or television for every two minutes of exercise (his cap on technology is two hours). “This is a way to find some middle ground,” Saunders explains. “You aren’t saying they can’t use the computer — you’re making a reward out of it.”

GOLD’S GYM: JANUARY 2012 |p.5 • Encourage your kids to join teams at school. “Physical activity at this age really helps grow selfesteem,” he says. If your children initially struggle at sports, flip on your cheerleader switch and get them to keep trying. “When kids fail early at sports, many go into a cocoon and reach for technology even more,” Saunders observes. • Let them try out karate or another form of martial arts. If lessons are too expensive, use instructional videos on YouTube. • Get them a pass for the local swimming pool and check if there are open races in your area — there’s nothing like some competition to inspire your tween. • Buy each kid a skateboard or roller skates and a helmet! On weeknights they can freestyle in the driveway; on the weekends they can show off their skills at the roller rink or skate park. • Sign up as a family for a charity run or walk. Then train together three or four nights a week after dinner.

>TRAIN YOUR TEENAGER

Ages 10-13 Once they’ve made the leap from middle school to high school, most kids are mentally and physically ready to start going to a gym. Teenagers who learn to work out regularly are beginning a healthy discipline that will follow them into adulthood. “Also, this is the time when fat cells can really start developing,” Saunders says. “It’s much harder for adults who didn’t exercise when they were young to lose weight.” If you decide to let your teens start hitting the weights, here are some pointers from Saunders: • Supervise them closely. Make sure they know the proper way to use the machines and free weights, and check their form. • Make sure they’re lifting the proper amount of weight. Rule of thumb: They should be able to do 12 to 15 repetitions. • Explain the proper breathing technique: Exhale as you lift, inhale as you release. • Talk to your kids about muscle recovery. Tell them not to work out the same muscles every day. And explain the importance of taking days off to let the body rest. • Consider treating your kids to a session with a personal trainer. The trainer can explain the benefits and principles of strength training, point out the different muscle groups, demonstrate how to use a variety of machines and give a lesson in free-weight basics. • Most important, tell your kids that change won’t happen overnight. Many teenagers want to see results right away and get discouraged when they don’t. Emphasize that it takes a lot of time and work to get Mark Wahlberg’s biceps or Venus Williams’s thighs.

Bon Voyage

Gold’s Gym says goodbye to a member of the family

Two years ago, Chris O’Kelley received a shocking wake-up call during a sleep study. “I stopped breathing, oh gosh, over 500 times in a night,” Chris said. “The doctor told me that if I didn’t do something fast, I was going to die.” Chris, Kicks 99’s assistant program director and music director, weighed just shy of 400 pounds at the time, which his doctor determined was a big part of his sleep apnea problem. So Chris joined Gold’s Gym and, within a year, lost more than 105 pounds through classes and personal training sessions. And he wasn’t the only one who benefited from his wake-up call. “When I got that call, I called my wife and said, ‘Don’t worry, I’ll take care of this,’” he remembers. And she said, ‘No, we’re in this together.’” Not only did his wife Dawn lose 95 pounds, but one daughter lost 30 and the other lost 20. Because of his amazing transformation, Chris also became the fitness club’s spokesperson, advocating Gold’s Gym through direct mailings and radio commercials. What he found was that his doctor’s advice gave him the nudge to start, but his position as Gold’s Gym’s spokesperson kept him on the right track. “I got a lot of feedback, but it also made me think twice when I wanted to eat something that I wasn’t supposed to,” he said. “That happened to me once when I was out eating pizza and someone came up to me and said, ‘Aren’t you the guy from Kicks 99 who does commercials for Gold’s Gym?’” His notoriety wasn’t the only thing that kept him in line, though. “The people at Gold’s Gym, they have become like a family. If you didn’t show up for a class, you got a phone call. These folks became more than coworkers or a business partnership, they’re friends, and these are friendships I’ll keep forever.” Which makes it all the more difficult to say goodbye, as Chris is having to do. He’s accepted a job in Charleston, S.C., with Apex Broadcasting, overseeing Kickin 92.5 and Chuck FM. He’ll also be on the air at Kickin 92.5 every day from 5-7 p.m. Chris admits that, between commuting, hotel living and a new job, he’s got his work cut out for him when it comes to keeping up with his fitness routine. But given all that Gold’s Gym has done for him and his family, he’s says he’s up for the challenge. “It saved my life, first and foremost, and I’ll never forget that or take it lightly,” he said of joining Gold’s Gym. “When you hear the words at age 40 that you’re going to die if you don’t change, that changes your life.”

The Fit To Be Gold 12-week fitness challenge is sponsored by Gold’s Gym, Premier Fitness PT, The Metro Spirit, Fox 54 and Moving Canvas Media. The Fit To Be Gold season 4 contest will begin this March 2012.

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The Heart of a Competitor

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Make sure the athletes in your life know about one very important muscle: their heart. Here’s an update from Marc Gillinov, M.D., and Steven Nissen, M.D., co-authors of Heart 411. Below is an excerpt from “Heart 411: The Only Guide to Heart Health You’ll Ever Need” by Marc Gillinov, M.D., staff cardiac surgeon at Cleveland Clinic, and Steven Nissen, M.D., chairman of the Department of Cardiovascular Medicine at Cleveland Clinic. In the second week of January 2010, Americans were stunned when two competitive athletes in peak condition, Chicago Bears defensive end Gaines Adams, age 26, and Southern Indiana center Jeron Lewis, 21, died with no warning. They joined a tragic list that includes Flo Hyman (Olympic volleyball), Hank Gathers (NCAA basketball), Pete Maravich (NBA) and Korey Stringer (NFL). All were world-class athletes who died suddenly of heart disease. These events are not as rare as you might think. Hundreds of other athletes have suffered similar fates. Each year in the U.S., 200 to 300 young athletes suffer sudden cardiac death. Basketball and football players account for most of the deaths in the U.S., while soccer is the more common predisposing sport in Europe. Men and boys are affected nine times as often as women and girls, and African Americans are affected five times as frequently as Caucasians. Newscasters highlight the emotional impact of these events, the lives and careers cut short. There is usually little discussion of the causes, and only recently have the media focused on their prevention. The fact is, we know why these tragedies occur, and for the most part we can determine in advance who is at risk. First, let’s talk about the causes. When middle-aged and older people die during or after exertion, the cause is usually a heart attack triggered by coronary heart disease that has developed over a lifetime. Such is not the case with competitive athletes. Athletes who experience sudden cardiac death usually have an underlying heart condition that has been present since birth, a problem that we ought to be able to identify beforehand. In peak physical condition, these athletes train and play hard, exposing their hearts to extraordinary stresses. These stresses can aggravate unsuspected heart abnormalities, creating risks that might not occur in others with the same abnormality who perform less strenuous exercise. When a young athlete dies, the immediate cause is usually an abnormal heart rhythm, brought on by the combination of a structural heart problem and intense physical activity. An exception to this rule is the athlete with Marfan syndrome. In patients with this condition (Flo Hyman had it, and Abraham Lincoln probably did, too), sudden death is caused by rupture of an aortic aneurysm. In the U.S., the most common underlying condition that causes sudden death in athletes is hypertrophic obstructive cardiomyopathy. People with this condition have overgrowth of part of the heart muscle, and the heart rhythm tends to be unstable. It is not rare — about one in five hundred people has it. It is so common, and so dangerous, that the NFL recently announced that it will start screening players for this condition.

SUDDEN CARDIAC DEATH IN ATHLETES

We all agree that any individual known to have one of these conditions needs a cardiac workup before participating in strenuous sports. The key question is: Why don’t we identify young athletes with these problems before they die? While high school and college athletes in the U.S. are screened by a perfunctory history and physical examination, we believe they should also be screened for hypertrophic obstructive cardiomyopathy by having an annual electrocardiogram test (EKG). An EKG tests the electrical activity of the heart and can check for any heart diseases or conditions like high blood pressure. In other countries, like Italy, all competitive athletes 12 to 35 years old must participate in a mandatory national screening program and undergo a detailed history and physical examination, as well as an annual EKG. If any abnormality turns up on these tests, they undergo further examination, which frequently includes an echocardiogram, which is an ultrasound of the heart that allows medical professionals to see how a heart is beating and pumping blood. Since more rigorous screening was instituted, sudden deaths in athletes have dropped by nearly 90 percent in Italy. After adopting the Italian protocol, Dutch doctors found that for every 143 athletes screened, doctors identified one athlete who had a potentially lethal heart problem. They could actually count the lives saved. It is also important to pay attention to warning signs in athletes. Twenty percent of young athletes who die experience symptoms during the week before the tragedy. Common complaints are chest pain, feeling faint, indigestion or heartburn, increasing fatigue, and profound shortness of breath. If any of these occurs, especially if it represents a change, don’t write off the symptoms as the result of a tough workout. Investigate. Save a life. We recommend that all competitive athletes of high school age or older should invest a couple of hours in a detailed personal and family history, a physical examination and an EKG. At a minimum, search your family history for specific warning signs or red flags. If you have a young athlete in the family or are a competitive athlete yourself, fill out this checklist; you’ll likely be able to determine if any of these factors apply. If any of them do, a visit to the cardiologist is imperative.

SCREENING ATHLETES FOR HEART DISEASE

Family Historya Any early heart disease in family (in a relative less than 50 years old)? Any sudden cardiac death or sudden death of unknown cause? Any family members with hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, Marfan syndrome or other inherited heart disease? Personal History Have you ever experienced any of the following: Heart murmur | High blood pressure | Fainting spells | Chest pain with exercise Excessive shortness of breath with exercise | Unusual fatigue

GOLD’S GYM: JANUARY 2012 |p.7

l l Surprising Headache Triggers YOUR WEIGHT In a recent study, researchers found that women with mild obesity (a body mass index of 30) had a 35 percent greater risk of headaches than those with a lower BMI. Severe obesity (BMI of 40) upped the chances to 80 percent.

WJBF-TV (ABC) News Channel 6 Sports Director Chris Kane is a Gold’s Gym member

Could it be something you ate? Not enough sleep? What could be causing your headache? Health.com’s comprehensive list might help you out.

All he does is Lin... Lin... Lin

It’s official. Jeremy Lin is my favorite NBA player. Check that, when former Augusta State star Garret Siler hooks on with another NBA team, Lin will be my second favorite NBA player. But for now, it’s Lin and YOUR PERSONALITY I’m all in. Linsanity is taking over the world and you Certain traits, including rigidity, reserve and obsessivity may make you headache-prone. If that know it’s out of control when the dude is trending more sounds like you, it could be time to sign up for relaxation training. than Kate Upton. I mean, have you seen her on the cover of Sports Illustrated’s swimsuit issue? THAT THREE-DAY VACAY Jeremy Lin’s meteoric rise is one for the ages. With Lin Weekend or “let-down” headaches can happen when you take a break from your routine, says as their starting point guard, the New York Knicks won Alexander Mauskop, M.D., founder and director of the New York Headache Center and co-author eight of their first nine games. The 23-year-old is now a global of “What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Migraines.” Ease into the change by keeping your brand and is the first Asian-American basketball star in NBA sleep time as normal as possible — you’ll end up feeling more rested than if you stay in bed until history. noon. How crazy have the last three weeks been in the Big Apple? Spike Lee is showing up courtside at Madison Square Garden YOUR BATHROOM PAINT JOB wearing Lin’s Harvard jersey. Yes, Jeremy Lin was not a It’s not just arguing over paint colors that can give you a headache; fumes from traditional McDonald’s High School All-American or a major division-one paints can trigger pain. Many companies now make nearly odorless, low-VOC (volatile recruit. He went to Harvard and became an Ivy League legend. organic compound) formulas, like Benjamin Moore’s Natura line or Devoe’s Wonder Pure. This is where Lin’s fairy tale story was supposed to end, but he wouldn’t let it happen. After getting cut by two NBA teams, Lin hooked up with the Knicks last December. Just one week before Lin made his first start on February 4, the Knicks were very close to cutting him. Can you imagine if this happened? No Linsanity... no Linsational... no Lincredible... no Linning time... no Linspiring story... no to Linfinity and beyond. OK, I’ll stop here. Jeremy Lin is getting me to watch the NBA again and that’s saying something. I haven’t been this excited about pro hoops since the days of Bird, Magic and Dr. J. Thank you Jeremy Lin. Thank you for showing no fear and thank you for knocking down every stereotype that many Asian-American athletes have to deal with. One piece of advice. Soon, Kim Kardashian will be asking for your cell number. Don’t do it. However, if Kate Upton asks for your digits... go for it.

(Half) Marathon Madness

The moment of truth has arrived. On Sunday, February 26, I’ll run in my third Augusta Half Marathon. As predicted months ago in this same column, the date change from October to February produced a record number of entrants. More than 1,000 runners have signed up! Even better, race participants will receive Augusta Half Marathon shirts that won’t have a ghost or pumpkin on it. Just another good DEHYDRATION reason to move the race away from Halloween weekend! You don’t have to drink gallons of water to stay hydrated, says John La Puma, M.D., It’s been 16 months since I ran my last 13.1 race and I’m ready to author of “Chef MD’s Big Book of Culinary Medicine.” “I’d love it if people got more water go. The hard work is over and now it’s time to reap the rewards of from eating fruits and vegetables because then they’d get all the other good things that seven months of training. come with them,” he says. Usually, I’d set a time to beat, but I’m not going to do it for this race. The Augusta Sports Council did a great job of coming up with SKIPPING MEALS a new course that will take runners through all of the main scenic We know you’re busy, but hunger is a common headache trigger. parts of Augusta. With no pressure of trying to turn in a PR, I’m just going to enjoy the new route and take in some of the sights that TOO MUCH CAFFEINE we’ve never experienced in previous Augusta Half-Marathons. A little can help headaches but too much can trigger them, New York City neurologist I’m most looking forward to running Audrey Halpern, M.D., says. If caffeine is causing your pain, gradually cut back until you have past Augusta National Golf Club. The caffeine no more than two days a week. golfer in me will be tempted to hang a right and jog down Magnolia Lane, but INACTIVITY I’m guessing a water station won’t be A recent Swedish study showed that those who were inactive were more likely to get set up near the clubhouse. headaches than those who worked out. Aim for 20 to 30 minutes of cardio a day, five days a To everyone who signed up to run week, to relieve stress, send blood to the brain, and get feel-good endorphins flowing. Exercise 13.1 miles, a heart-felt congratulations may be a trigger for some people, so consult your doc first. from someone who knows how hard it is to dedicate hours and hours of training just to get to the starting line. SLEEP DEPRIVATION The medal you’ll receive at the end of One large study says those who slept an average of six hours a night tended to have the race will make it all worth it. See ya significantly more severe and more frequent headaches than those who got more zzzs. at the finish line! DON’T FEED YOUR HEADACHE Everyone reacts differently, but some foods are known to trigger headaches for many people — and others (especially those rich in magnesium) seem to help prevent them. Eat: Spinach, tofu, oat bran, barley, fish oil, olive oil, white beans and sunflower and pumpkin Don’t run for five days after running a seeds half marathon! Avoid: Red wine, beer, MSG, chocolate, aged cheese, sauerkraut and processed meats like pepperoni, ham and salami

>Kane’s Fitness Tip of the Month

University. Visit georgiahealth.edu. Multiple Sclerosis and Parkinson Disease Aquatics Class meets every Monday and Friday at noon at the Wilson Family Y. Free for members; $3 for non-members. Pre-registration required. Call Claudia Collins at 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org. Heart Attack and Stroke Prevention Orientation is every Monday at 6 p.m. and Tuesday at 2 p.m. at University Hospital’s Heart & Vascular Institute (Classroom 3). Call 706-774-5548 or visit universityhealth.org. Adapted Wii Special Populations available by appointment at the Wilson Family Y, and feature individual ½-hour classes for physically and developmentally challenged individuals of all ages. $10, members; $20, non-members. Call Claudia Collins at 706-922-9662 or visit thefamilyy.org.

library. Call 706-721-5160 or email ddrakele@georgiahealth.edu. CSRA Huntington’s Disease Support Group meets Tuesday, March 6, at 6:30 p.m. at GHSU’s Movement Disorders Clinic. Call 706-721-2798 or visit universityhealth.org. Spine Education and Support Group, for those preparing for spine surgery, is Wednesday, March 7, at 1 p.m. at the Levi Hill III Auditorium. Call 706-7742760 or visit universityhealth.org. ALS Support Lunch and Learn is Thursday, March 8, from 11 a.m.-2 p.m. at GHSU’s Medical Office Building. Pre-registration required. Call 706-7212681 or visit georgiahealth.org. Breast Cancer Support Group meets Thursday, March 8, at 5:30 p.m. at GHSU’s Cancer Center. Call 706-7214109 or visit georgiahealth.org.

Huntington Disease Support Group meets Thursday, March 1, at 6:30 p.m. at GHSU’s Marks Building. Call 706-7214895 or visit georgiahealth.org.

Cancer Survivor Support Group meets Thursday, March 8, at 6 p.m. at Augusta Oncology Associates. Open to those with any type of cancer and their family members. Call 706-651-2283 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

Parents Healing Together, a group for parents, families and friends who have lost infants, meets Monday, March 5, at 7 p.m. in University Hospital’s Dining Room 2. Call 706-774-2751 or visit universityhealth.org.

Narcotics Anonymous, sponsored by Trinity Hospital of Augusta, meets Fridays and Sundays at 7:30 p.m. Call 706-8552419 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Support

A-Team Autism Spectrum Disorder Support and Resource Group meets Tuesday, March 6, at 6 p.m. at GHSU’s Children’s Medical Center family resource

AA Meets every Sunday and Wednesday at 7:15 p.m. at Aiken Regional Medical Center (Aurora Pavilion), and features an open discussion. Call 800-322-8322 or visit aikenregional.com.

Burn Support Group meets every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Doctors Hospital (Lori Rogers Nursing Library, JMS Building). All burn survivors, and their families and friends are welcome. Call Tim Dorn at 706-651-6660 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Moms Connection, a free support group for new mothers and their babies, meets Tuesdays from 1-2 p.m. at Georgia Health Sciences Building 1010C. Call 706-7219351 or visit georgiahealth.org.

Education

Old House Fair, sponsored by Historic Augusta, is Saturday, March 3, from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. at Sacred heart Cultural Center and includes vendors, lectures, demonstrations, a keynote lecture at lunch and more. Admission, $10; luncheon, $10. Call 706-724-0436 or visit historicaugusta.org. Write Your Resume, part of the Let’s Get a Job series, is Tuesday, March 6, at 10 a.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Theory and Praxis: Hannah Arendt, the Arab Spring and Occupy Wall Street, part of the 2012 Philosophy Lecture Series featuring Hunt Revell, is Tuesday, March 6, at 2:30 p.m. at ASU’s Allgood Hall, room N126. Free. Call 706-7373-1709 or visit aug.edu. Beginners Computer Class is Wednesday, March 7, at 10 a.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. PINES cards and preregistration are required. Call 706-8212600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Water, Water Everywhere: The Anniversary of the 1912 Flood, March’s Brown Bag History Series lecture present by Carol Waggonner-Angleton, is Wednesday, March 7, at 12:30 p.m. at the Augusta Museum of History. Lunch, for which the museum will provide beverages, begins at 11:30 a.m. Free, members; $3, non-members. Call 706722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org. Google Search Class is Wednesday, March 7, at 6 p.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Computer Hardware Basics Class is Thursdays, March 8 and 15, at 10 a.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Space Flight: A Human Perspective, a talk by four-time space shuttle astronaut Kathryn Thornton, is Thursday, March 8, at 7 p.m. at ASU’s Maxwell Theatre. Call 706-737-1541 or visit aug.edu. Work Networking Group is held each Monday from 8:30-10 a.m. at Grace United Methodist Church in North Augusta. A networking and informational meeting for anyone looking for a job, the group meets in room 206 of the Asbury Building and is facilitated by career and business professionals. Call 803-279-7525 or email doctor@pritchardgroup.com. GED classes are offered every Monday and Thursday at 6 p.m. and every Monday-Thursday at 9:30 a.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library (Third Floor Writing Lab). PINES library card

Cremation is not as expensive as you think.

$995 Pre-pay for a complete Direct Cremation V. 23 | NO. 09

706.798.8886 for details METRO SPIRIT 03.01.12 25

required. Call Charles Garrick at 803279-3363 or visit ecgrl.org.

March 1. Call Debbie Windhorn at 706364-8702 or visit fgscc.com.

Computer classes are offered every Thursday at 6 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org.

Benefits

ESL classes are offered every Wednesday at 6 p.m. at Headquarters Branch Library (Third Floor Writing Lab). Pre-registration required. Call Charles Garrick at 803-279-3363 or visit ecgrl. org. Intermediate Spanish Language Class is each Monday from 2:30-4 p.m. at Friedman Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Beginner’s Spanish Language Class is each Monday from 4-5 p.m. at Friedman Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Call for applications: the Fort Gordon Spouses and Civilians Club awards merit scholarships for graduating seniors, and to adults continuing their education. Scholarships are open to dependents of all military members and dependents of our civilian club members. Deadline:

26 METRO SPIRIT 03.01.12

Music for Memories, a fundraiser for the Jud C. Hickey Center for Alzheimer’s Care featuring Lee Ann Womack, is Thursday, March 1, at 8:30 p.m. at The Country Club. $20; $25 at the door. Call 706738-5039 or visit judchickeycenter.org. Family Fun Bike Ride is Saturday, March 3, at 9 a.m. at the Kroc Center. Proceeds will benefit Augusta South Rotary Projects. $10, adults; $5, children under 12; $25, families. Visit augustaouthrotary.org. Prep Fest, featuring community entertainment, speakers and artists, is Saturday, March 3, from 3:30-9:45 p.m. at Aiken Prep School’s soccer field. General admission, $20 and a can of food; kids 12 and under, a can of food; VIP tickets, including dinner under a tent, cash bar, reserved parking and more, is $80. Call 803-648-3223 or visit prepfest.org. Karma Yoga is offered at Just Breathe Studio, downtown Aiken, each Friday at 10 a.m. and is free if participants bring

a donation of a personal item, which will be given to the Cumbee Center to Assist Abused Persons. Call 803-648-8048 or visit justbreathestudio.com.

Sports-Outdoors

Augusta RiverHawks vs. the Fayetteville FireAntz is Thursday, March 1, at 7:35 p.m. at the James Brown Arena. $10-$18. Call 877-4AUGTIX or visit georgialinatix.com. Sixth Annual Heart and Sole 5K Run/ Walk, proceeds of which will benefit GHSU’s Children’s Medical Center, is Saturday, March 3, at 9 a.m. at the Children’s Medical Center. An evening celebration is at 7 p.m. at the Marbury Center. $25, race; $50, celebration. Call 706-721-4004 or email castewart@ georgiahealth.edu. Augusta RiverHawks vs. the Columbus Cottonmouths is Saturday, March 3, at 7:35 p.m. at the James Brown Arena. $10-$18. Call 877-4AUGTIX or visit georgialinatix.com. Augusta Canal Boat Tours lasting one hour are offered Monday-Saturday at 10 a.m., 11:30 a.m., 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m., and Sunday at 1:30, 3 and 4:30 p.m. All

tours include admission to the Augusta Canal Interpretive Center. Call 706-8230440 or visit augustacanal.com. The Augusta Fencers Club is open five nights a week from 5:30-9 p.m. and most Saturday mornings from 10 a.m.-noon. Visitors always welcome. Call 706-722-8878. Thursday Night Chain Reaction Ride begins at 6 p.m. each Thursday at Patriots Park in Grovetown. For intermediate to fast-paced cyclists, who average 25-32 miles. Participants should bring their own water and helmet. Call 706-855-2024 or visit chainreactionbicycles.net. Riverview Disc Golf League meets each Thursday at 6 p.m. at Riverview Park in North Augusta. $5 entry fee and $1 ace pool. Call 803-215-8181 or visit augustadiscgolf.com. Road Bike Ride meets each Thursday at 6:30 p.m. at Andy Jordan’s Bicycle Warehouse downtown for an approximately 25-mile ride at a moderate to fast pace. Front and rear lights, as well as a helmet, are required. Call 706724-6777 or visit andyjordans.com.

V. 23 | NO. 09

Guided Trail Rides at Hilltop Riding Stables at Fort Gordon are available Saturdays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m., noon, 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m.; Sundays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m. and noon; and WednesdayFriday at 11 a.m. with reservations 24 hours in advance. All trail rides are on a first-come, first-served basis, and participants should arrive 30 minutes prior to the trail ride starting for sign in procedures. $23-$30. Call 706-7914864 or visit fortgordon.com. Zumba with Sohailla is every Saturday from 10-11 a.m. at the Ballroom Dance Center in Evans. Call 706-421-6168 or visit zumbawithsohailla.blogspot.com. Civil War 150th Anniversary Petersburg Boat Tours are Saturdays at 10 a.m. and Sundays at 1:30 and 4:30 p.m. This one-hour tour explores the role the canal played during the war. $12.50. Visit augustacanal.com. Saturday Historic Trolley Tours are Saturdays from 1-4:15 p.m. at the Augusta Museum of History. Reservations required 24 hours in advance. $12. Call 706-724-4067 or visit augustamuseum.org. Lakeside Rideouts at Hilltop Riding Stables at Fort Gordon are each Sunday beginning at 1:30 p.m. on a first-come, first-served basis. The ride, which begins at 2 p.m., is a two-hour guided ride to Wilkerson Lake. $45-$50. Call 706-7914864 or visit fortgordon.com. Yoga Class at Euchee Creek Branch Library meets every Tuesday at 4 p.m. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. Nacho Mama’s Group Run is each Wednesday at 5:30 p.m. and features food and drinks afterwards. Three- and fourmile routes are available for all ages and abilities of runners. Call 706-414-4059 or email jim@enduranceconcepts.com. Hott Shott Disc Golf is each Wednesday at 7 p.m. at Killer B Disc Golf, 863 Broad Street, and features games and prizes for all ages and skill levels. $2. Call 706-814-7514 or visit killerbdiscgolf. blogspot.com/p/hott-shott. Youth Archery League meets Wednesdays through March 21 from 6:30-8:30 p.m. at the Odell Weeks Center in Aiken, and features lessons in history, safety and technique for ages 5-16, accompanied by an adult. $11 per session. Call 803642-7631. V. 23 | NO. 09

Kids

20,000 Leagues Under the Earth, a program for ages 7 and up that explores how the Earth has changed over time, is Saturday, March 3, at 10 a.m. at Reed Creek Park. Children must be accompanied by an adult and preregistration is required. Free, members; $2, non-members. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com. Mission to Mars shows Saturday, March 3, at 7 and 8 p.m. at USC-Aiken’s DuPont Planetarium. $1-$4.50. Reservations recommended. Call 803-641-3654 or visit http://rpsec.usca.edu/planetarium. Artrageous! Family Sunday: The Super Fun Show is Sunday, March 4, from 2-4 p.m. at the Morris Museum of Art. Free. Call 706724-7501 or visit themorris.org. Teen Tech Week Contest, for those ages 12-18, goes on March 4-10 at the Headquarters Branch Library. A random drawing will be held March 12 to determine the winner of a $25 Target gift card. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

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GoodBooks Café

Specializing in gourmet coffees, smoothies, paninis, salads, and VeryVera desserts Open Mon-Sat 9AM-8PM, Sun Noon-5PM 3179 Washington Road (Corner of Fury’s Ferry) Donate your gently used books today and help someone start a new chapter in their life! www.goodwillworks.org

Dr. Seuss’ Birthday Party at the Harlem Branch Library is Tuesday, March 6, at 10:30 a.m. Pre-registration required. Call 706-556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org. Making Bracelets, a craft program for those ages 12-18, is Tuesday, March 6, at 4 p.m. at the Columbia County Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-8631946 or visit ecgrl.org. Dr. Seuss’ Birthday Party at Euchee Creek Branch Library is Tuesday, March 6, at 4:30 p.m. Pre-registration required. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. Dr. Seuss Story Time is Wednesday, March 7, at 10 a.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org. What’s in the Box? Dip, Drip and Roll, a toddler art program, is Thursday, March 8, at 10 a.m. or 11:15 a.mm. at the Morris Museum of Art. Free, museum members; $4, non-members Pre-registration required. Call 706-7247501 or visit themorris.org. Family Movie Night, featuring “Soul Surfer,” is Thursday, March 8, at 5 p.m. at the Harlem Branch Library. Call 706556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org. Dr. Seuss’ Birthday Party is Thursday, March 8, at 6:30 p.m. at the Columbia METRO SPIRIT 03.01.12 27

County Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org.

Story Time is every Tuesday at 10 a.m. at Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Groups of six or more must pre-register. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org.

Art Comes to Life, a spring break camp at the Aiken Center for the Arts, is April 2-6 for campers ages 5-8. Full-day, $215, and half-day, $130, options available, with a 10 percent discount to center members. Pre-registration required. Call 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org.

Story Time is every Tuesday at 10 a.m. at Friedman Branch Library. Groups of six or more must pre-register. Call 706736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is every Wednesday at 10 a.m. at Maxwell Branch Library. Preregistration required. Call 706-7932020 or visit ecgrl.org.

Exercise Your Body and Mind Masters Week Camp, sponsored by MACH Academy, is Monday, April 2-Friday, April 6 from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. at the Fleming Tennis Center, and includes instruction in science, math, creative writing, computer literacy, nutrition and healthy eating, tennis and fitness, and more. $100 per child, and includes lunch and supplies. Partial scholarships available for qualifying participants. Pre-registration required. Call 706-796-5046 or visit machacademy.com.

Story Time is every Wednesday from 10-11:15 a.m. at Wallace Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-7226275 or visit ecgrl.org.

Preschool Story Time is every Tuesday at Headquarters Branch Library at 10 a.m. Toddler Story Time is every Wednesday at 10 a.m. Group registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Seniors

Wednesday from 9:30-11:30 a.m. at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. Call 803642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Games for Seniors at the Weeks Center in Aiken include Rummikub each Thursday from 9 a.m.-noon, Mahjong each Thursday from 1-4 p.m., Bridge each Friday from 11:30 a.m.-3 p.m., Bingo each Tuesday at 9 a.m., Pinochle each Tuesday from 10:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m., and Canasta on Tuesdays and Fridays from 11:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m. Call 803-6427631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Wacky Wednesday Story Time is each Wednesday at 10 a.m. in the children’s department of Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall. Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com. Story Time is every Wednesday at Appleby Branch Library from 10:0510:20 a.m. for toddlers 18 months-35 months, and from 10:30-11:15 a.m. for preschoolers ages 3 and up. Parent must stay with child. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org.

Story Time is every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Harlem Branch Library. Call 706556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org.

Story Time is every Wednesday from 10:15-10:45 a.m. for Pre-K, and 11:3011:55 a.m. for toddlers at Aiken County Public Library. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org.

Ceramics Class, for ages 14 and up, meets Mondays at 9 a.m. or 6 p.m., Tuesdays at 6 p.m., and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. in the Weeks Ceramics Center. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Story Time is every Wednesday from 10:30-11 a.m. for toddlers and 11:1511:45 a.m. for preschoolers at North Augusta Branch Library. Call 803-2795767 or abbe-lib.org.

Hobbies

The Augusta Archaeological Society meets Thursday, March 1, at 6:30 p.m. at Sabi Japanese, 4272 Washington Road. Open to the public; meeting begins at 8 p.m. Call 706-863-7964.

Volunteers

CSRA Humane Society New volunteer Orientation is Saturday, March 3, at 9 a.m. at the Pet Center. Call 706-261PETS or visit csrahumanesociety.org.

If you would like to see your organization’s events listed in our calendar, please email Amy Christian at amy@themetrospirit.com. The deadline for each Thursday’s issue is the previous Friday at noon.

Toddler Time, free play for children ages 5 and under, is each Monday and

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IN THE MIX

Annie Burke Bartender, Country Club Dance Hall & Saloon

Annie Burke has worked at the Country Club Dance Hall and Saloon for almost six years. She was even voted Metro’s Best Bartender for two years in a row. She thinks it’s because she’s been in the bar so long. Originally from North Augusta (“you might as well say Augusta”), she is a Valley Girl, as in Midland Valley High School. (“it’s not so bad, some of us have our teeth!”). While not bartending, she works at an OBGYB office on Harper Street. “One of our doctors (Dr. Watson) just celebrated his 102nd birthday! He’s delivered over 15,000 babies…we have doctors there that he delivered!” Finish this sentence: I don’t like spiders and snakes. They make the hair on my head stand up What is the craziest thing you’ve seen recently? I’m a soccer mom…I don’t see crazy stuff! Why do guys wear those starched, untucked “club” shirts when they go out? Because they are trying to be like Jersey Shore What is your favorite Augusta restaurant? Tako Sushi What would you rather be doing right now? Sitting on a sandy beach somewhere with a Corona! Do you think pigs think in latin? Absolutely. What is your favorite drink? I’m a beer girl. What is the biggest tip you’ve ever gotten? Oh wow. Can it include Masters week? Probably about three or four hundred dollars. What is Masters week going to be like this year? I’m hoping it’s going to be crazy busy. It normally is up there!

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compliments of Jeff Miles There’s nothing like seeing a band in someone’s basement. Thanks to Downstairs Live you can actually do just that, see a great artist in the most intimate setting I’ve ever been too. I was lucky enough to go this past weekend to see Ryan Star with special guest, Michael Tolcher. Downstairs Live is hosted by Chuck and Heather Williams (in no relation to 95 Rock’s Chuck Williams), where they have converted their basement into a great venue. I couldn’t have been more impressed. Michael Tolcher is a singer/songwriter based out of Atlanta. The guy was very talented, very funny, and a little “too country” for my taste, but definitely entertaining. This was actually the second time for me to see Ryan Star, and if anything, the guy keeps getting better and better. From touring with Bon Jovi, to playing in a dude’s basement, the guy knows how to put on a show. Picture the voice of Neil Diamond, before Vegas, with an American Idol look. Okay, that’s not the best description. Try Wikipedia. And definitely check out Downstairs Live. Special thanks to Chuck and Heather for allowing us in your home. And no, it was not me who took the bottle of Crown. Monday nights could start being a night for rock music in Augusta, and I like it. This past Monday, The Playground Bar welcomed the Greek girl-fronted punks ‘Barb Wire Dolls’ in their doors and it was quite impressive. When I say impressive, I’m not referring to the music, that’s only because I wasn’t there. I’m referring to the pictures I saw of the lead singer who was wearing a see-through shirt. And for that, I thank you. Now, your weekly rundown of headlines from across the globe. Aerosmith front man, Steven Tyler, says the band is back on track for a new album and touring which will start on June 18th. What do I expect for this tour? Two broken hips, a broken nose, and gallons of Ben Gay. I love when redneck rock stars endorse presidential candidates. This week it was Kid Rock endorsing Mitt Romney. I can’t wait to see whom Skynyrd picks. Lil’ Wayne’s ‘Cash Money Records’ signed “rock” act Limp Bizkit this past week. Which seems ironic, because that is exactly what they are going to lose by signing Limp Bizkit. And last, Chris Brown is still not in jail. That seemed like news to me. I love Motley Crue, but they’re not coming to Augusta, at least not anytime soon. But the next based thing is, Motley Crude will be at The Playground on Friday, March 2nd. The G-City Rockers are set to open. And just remember, you don’t have to inject Jack Daniels in your veins to enjoy yourself at this show, but what you do in your free time is your own business. Coming up on Friday, March 9th, the band Diezel returns to 1102 Downtown Bar and Grill. The band is now out with a new lead singer who happens to be of the female gender, ohhh a lady (Leon Phelps voice of course). The last time the band played it was an all night party. Join me won’t you? If you wonder why I’m plugging these shows and these businesses, it’s because they’re emailing me and asking me to. It’s that simple. What shows am I missing? What bands are taking Augusta by storm? Where should I go when I want a sub sandwich? Email me, HYPERLINK “mailto:matt@themetrospirit.com” matt@themetrospirit.com. And hey guys, don’t you go dying me.

MATTSTONE can be heard weekdays from 2-6 p.m. on 95 Rock. V. 23 | NO. 09

Thursday, March 1 Live Music

Country Club - Lee Ann Womack and Josh Thompson French Market Grille West - Doc Easton Smooth Jazz Joe’s Underground - Ruskin Yeargain O Lounge - Jazmine Soul Band Red Pepper Cafe - Funk/Fusion Jazz Rose Hill Stables - Preston, Weston and Sandra Travinia’s - Smooth Jazz The Willcox - Classic Jazz Wild Wing - The Fustics

What’s Tonight?

Fox’s Lair - Chris Ndeti French Market Grille West - Doc Easton Joe’s Underground - Baideme & Beltz Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Shamless Dave Malibu Jack’s - Tony Howard PI Bar & Grill - Jazz Duo The Playground - Motley Crude, G-City Rockers Sky City - Fuzz Jackson Wild Wing - Causey Effect

What’s Tonight?

Club Argos - Variety Show Cocktails Lounge - Grown-Up Fridays

Roadrunner Cafe - Karaoke with Steve Chappel Tropicabana - Latin Friday Wheels - Live DJ Wooden Barrel - Karaoke Contest

Saturday, March 3 Live Music

The Acoustic Coffeehouse - Open Acoustic Jam Session with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Country Club - Ben Wells Joe’s Underground - Jerod Gay Malibu Jack’s - Tony Howard P.I. Bar and Grill - Smooth Jazz

Casa Blanca - Thursday Tango Club Argos - Karaoke Cocktails Lounge - Karaoke Coyote’s - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Fox’s Lair - Soup, Suds & Conversations Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Highlander - Butt Naked Trivia The Library - DJ Kris Fisher The Loft - Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - Sports Trivia with Mike Thomas Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Evans) - Karaoke The Playground - Open Mic with Brandy Shannon’s - Karaoke Somewhere in Augusta - Keno, Poker Soul Bar - Boom Box Villa Europa - Karaoke Wooden Barrel - ’80s Night Karaoke

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Sunday, March 4 Live Music

5 O’Clock Bistro - Buzz and Candice The Willcox - Jazz Jam Session Wild Wing - John Kolbeck

What’s Tonight?

Caribbean Soul - Love Jones Sundays Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke with Mike Swift Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke, Salsa Dancing

Monday, March 5 What’s Tonight?

Applebee’s (Evans) - Trivia Club Argos - Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - Trivia with Mike Thomas Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Trivia with Mike Thomas Somewhere In Augusta - Free Poker Tournaments Wild Wing - Trivia

Tuesday, March 6 Live Music

Friday, March 2 Live Music

Bell Auditorium - Augusta Blues Festival Cotton Patch - John Kolbeck Country Club - Cole Taylor The First Round - Mikey Athan, Granny’s Gin and Friends Reunion Show

Rockin Rob Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Karaoke with Danny Haywood Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke One Hundred Laurens - DJ Kenny Ray Robbie’s - Saturday Night Dance Party Tropicabana - Salsa Saturday Wheels - Live DJ Wooden Barrel - Kamikaze Karaoke

Cork and Bull Pub - Karaoke Eagle’s Nest - Free Salsa Lessons; Latin Dance Party First Round - DJ Kris Fisher Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Iron Horse Bar & Grill - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke with Ryan Moseley Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke with Jeff Barnes Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Three J’s Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke Palmetto Tavern - DJ Tim Rebeck’s Hideaway - Open Mic

Sky City - Beth Camley Benefit w/ Livingroom Legends, The Hollerers, Sibling String, Jesup Dolly, She N She Soul Bar - Twin Tigers, Hardy Morris Wild Wing - The Lunatics

What’s Tonight?

Club Argos - Variety Show Cocktails Lounge - Latin Night Crazy Turk’s - DJ Kris Fisher Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Fox’s Lair - Karaoke Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Loft - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke with

Cocktails Lounge - Live Music The Highlander - Open Mic Night James Brown Arena - Elton John Joe’s Underground - Happy Bones Sky City - Little Tybee, River Whyless Wild Wing - Good People Duo The Willcox - Piano Jazz

What’s Tonight?

Club Argos - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Dart League Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke with Denny Somewhere In Augusta - Big Prize Trivia & Hawk Talk

Wednesday, March 7 Live Music

209 on the River - Smooth Grooves Joe’s Underground - Sibling String METRO SPIRIT 03.01.12 31

Malibu Jack’s - Marilyn Adcock Manuel’s Bread Cafe - Rene Russell Sky City - Straight Line Stitch, Chairleg Soul Bar - Sami.the.great Wild Wing - Tiki Barflys

What’s Tonight?

Club Argos - Santoni’s Satin Dolls Cocktails Lounge - Augusta’s Got Talent Cotton Patch - Trivia and Tunes Hotel Aiken - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke The Loft - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke with Rockin’ Rob The Playground - Krazy Karaoke with Big Troy Polo Tavern - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Somewhere In Augusta - Rollin’ Jay Moore & Jodi White Surrey Tavern - Trivia

Upcoming

POPS! At the Bell: The Music of Michael Jackson - Bell Auditorium March 8 Gary Ray - Country Club March 9 Shane Owens - Coyote’s March 9 & 10 David Hope - Laura’s Backyard Tavern March 9 & 10 Shotgun Opera, With Intent - The Playground March 9 Langhorne Slim and the Law - Sky City March 9 Efren - Stillwater Taproom March 9 Funk You - Surrey Tavern March 9 Little Roy & Lizzy - Bell Auditorium March 10 The Producers, the Wombats - Sky City March 10 Jucifer - Sky City March 15 Don Williams - Bell Auditorium March 16 Jah Harvest - The First Round March 16 Livingston Taylor - Imperial Theatre March 17 Ralphie May - Imperial Theatre March 18 Steve Harvey - James Brown Arena March 24 Mandisa, Nicole Britt, Laura Story - USCAiken Convocation Center March 30 Rock Fore! Dough - First Tee of Augusta April 3 Fred Williams Jazz - Augusta Moonlight Music Cruise - April 6 Granny’s Gin - The First Round April 6 The Mass Chaos Tour w/ Godsmack and Staind - James Brown Arena April 13 Lady Antebellum - James Brown Arena 32 METRO SPIRIT 03.01.12

May 22-23

Elsewhere

Radiohead - Philips Arena, Atlanta March 1 David Allan Coe - Center Stage, Atlanta March 1 Diana Ross - Fox Theatre, Atlanta March 1 David Lowery and Johnny Hickman, Jonny Corndawg, Ponderosa - 40 Watt Club, Athens March 1 Camper Van Beethoven, Matt Hudgins & His S**t-Hot Country Band, T. Hardy Morris and The Outfit - 40 Watt Club, Athens March 2 Cracker, Shonna Tucker, Clint Maul - 40 Watt Club, Athens March 3 Aretha Franklin - Fox Theatre, Atlanta March 5 Dropkick Murphys - Tabernacle, Atlanta March 6 Amy Ray - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta March 10 Jane’s Addiction - Tabernacle, Atlanta March 13 Lyle Lovett, John Hiatt - Atlanta Symphony Hall March 14 Colin Hay - Melting Point, Athens March 15-16 Young The Giant - Center Stage, Atlanta March 15 Childish Gambino - Tabernacle, Atlanta March 16 Bruce Springsteen and the E Steet Band - Philips Arena, Atlanta March 18 Mutemath - Tabernacle, Atlanta March 18 Thomas Dolby - The Loft, Atlanta March 20 English Beat - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta March 23 Moody Blues - Fox Theatre, Atlanta March 24 Meshell Ndegeocello - Melting Point, Athens March 29 Snow Patrol, Ed Sheeran - Tabernacle, Atlanta April 2 Chaka Khan - Cobb Energy Performing Arts Centre, Atlanta April 4 Drive-By Truckers - Tabernacle, Atlanta April 21

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

Be like a rooster, dispensing wake-up calls on a regular basis. Nudge people to shed their torpor and shake themselves out of their stupor. What’s your personal version of “Cockadoodle-doo!”? Come up with attention-grabbing exclamations or signature phrases that no intelligent person can possibly ignore or feel defensive about. For example: “Let’s leap into the vortex and scramble our trances!”?

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

At one point in his book “The Divine Comedy,” Dante travels through purgatory on his way to paradise. T.S. Eliot describes the scene: “The people there were inside the flames expurgating their errors and sins. And there was one incident when Dante was talking to an unknown woman in her flame. As she answered Dante’s questions, she had to step out of her flame to talk to him, until at last she was compelled to say to Dante, ‘Would you please hurry up with your questions so I can get on with my burning?’” You’ve been expurgating your own errors and sins lately. Don’t let anything interfere with your brilliant work.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

You could do a lot to develop a better relationship with darkness, like the confusing mysteries, your own unconscious patterns and the secrets you hide from yourself. See what you can do to understand this stuff better. Open yourself to the redemptive teachings it has for you.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Sister Jessica, a character in Frank Herbert’s “Dune” books, says, “The greatest and most important problems of life cannot be solved. They can only be outgrown.” Use that theory as your operative hypothesis for the foreseeable future. Don’t obsess on your crazy-making dilemma. Instead, concentrate on skillfully doing the pleasurable activities that you do best. Be resolutely faithful to your higher mission and feed your lust for life. Slowly but surely, you’ll find that the frustrating impediment will be drained of at least some of its power to lock up your energy.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

If you’ve been holding yourself back in any way, now’s the time to unlock and unleash yourself. If you have been compromising your high standards or selling yourself short, give yourself permission to grow bigger, stronger and brighter. If you’ve been hedging your bets or rationing your access to the mother lode, you have officially arrived at the perfect moment to stop that nonsense.

A few years ago, the Hong Kong company Life Enhance sold briefs and boxer shorts that were supposedly designed by a master practitioner of feng shui. On the front of every garment was an image of a dragon, which the Chinese have traditionally regarded as a lucky symbol. To have this powerful charm in contact with your intimate places increased your vital force. You’re not going to need a boost like that. Without any outside aids, your lower furnace will be generating intense beams of magical heat. What are you going to do with all that potent mojo?

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

In the blaxploitation film “The Human Tornado,” the main character Dolemite brags about his prowess. “I chained down thunder and handcuffed lightning!” he raves. “I used an earthquake to mix my milkshake! I eat an avalanche when I want ice cream! I punched a hurricane and made it a breeze! I swallowed an iceberg and didn’t freeze!” This is the way I want to hear you talk. It’ll be healthy for you.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

Astrologer Antero Alli theorizes that the placement of the sign Cancer in a person’s chart may indicate what he or she tends to whine about. Cancer rules his ninth house, so he whines about obsolete beliefs, bad education and stale dogmas that cause people to shun firsthand experience as a source of authority. These are supremely honorable reasons for you to whine, as well as injustices perpetrated by small-minded people, short-sighted thinking that ignores the big picture and greedy self-interest that disdains the future. But you don’t have clearance to whine about crying babies, rude clerks or traffic jams.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

L.A. Weekly praised the music of drone-noise band Barn Owl. Its review said that the listening experience is “akin to placing your ear against the Dalai Lama’s stomach and catching the sound of his reincarnation juices flowing.” That sounds a bit like what’s ahead for you: getting the lowdown on the inner workings of a benevolent source… tuning in to the rest of the story that lies behind a seemingly simple, happy tale… gathering up revelations about the subterranean currents that are always going on beneath the surface of the good life.

There are times in your life when you do a lot of exploring in the outer world, and other times when your pioneering probes are directed primarily inward. You’re currently more suited for the latter kind of research. Take an inventory of all your inner voices, noticing both the content of what they say and the tone with which they say it. Some of them may be chatty and others shy; some blaring and others seductive. Welcome all the voices in your head into the spotlight of your alert attention. Ask them to step forward and reveal their agendas.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

The Oxford English Dictionary adds an average of two new words every day. Expand your capacity for self-expression with equal vigor. You’re due for an upgrade in your vocabulary, your clarity and your communication skills. Here’s one of the OED’s fresh terms, which would be a good addition to your repertoire: “bouncebackability,” the ability to recover from a setback or to rebound from a loss of momentum.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Dr. Seuss told a story of dining in a restaurant with his uncle, who was served a popover, which is a puffy muffin that’s hollow on the inside. “To eat these things,” said his uncle, “you must exercise great care. You may swallow down what’s solid, but you must spit out the air!” Dr. Seuss concluded, “As you partake of the world’s bill of fare, that’s darned good advice to follow. Do a lot of spitting out the hot air. And be careful what you swallow.” Apply these principles.

ROBBREZSNY FREEWILLASTROLOGY@FREEWILLASTROLOGY.COM V. 23 | NO. 09

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THE

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“Wanderlust”

NATALIEELLIOTT

DRINKING THE KOOL-AID: WANDERLUST, THE COMMUNE COMEDY

Wanderlust is the ultimate crowd-pleaser—the critically accepted comedy of the year. While the film owes production support to comedy A-lister Judd Apatow, not everything Apatow touches is golden. The real network of geniuses behind Wanderlust is the old sketch-comedy team that originated on MTV’s The State, back in the salad days of 1993. The troupe of actors have been involved in so many side projects since, even if you don’t know what I’m talking about, you know what I’m talking about: Reno 911, Stella, most recently, Showtime’s brilliant-but-cancelled Party Down, and last seen in full force in the perennial college-party hit, Wet Hot American Summer. In fact, Wanderlust was penned by Ken Marino (Ron Donald on Party Down) and David Wain (who also directs, as he did with Wet Hot), State cast members and vastly experienced comedians. Both also appear in the movie. So, in a refreshing turn of events, diehard Manhattanites George (Paul Rudd) and Linda (Jennifer Aniston) go bust in the big city, after buying an overpriced “microloft” around the time George loses his job at a shady finance firm. They’re reduced to the humiliating fate of moving in with George’s obnoxious port-apotty entrepreneur brother, Rick (Marino at his meat-headed best), who lives in a McManse in suburban Atlanta. On the way down, however, the couple gets sidetracked at a hippie-owned B&B called Elysium, where charismatic Seth (Justin Theroux) helms a group of sexy and wacky non-violent, didgeridoo-blowing vegans. George and Linda partake in a convivial, life-affirming night of partying that seriously hampers their desire to stay with Rick and his cocktail-medicated wife, Marissa (Groundlings member Michaela Watkins). Utterly disgusted with Rick’s suburban hell, George and Linda decide to return to Elysium on a whim. At George’s insistence, they agree to stay for two weeks and see how they might acclimate to the communal—er, “intentional community”— culture. The first few montages of organic farm life are blissful, Linda milks goats and does yoga in the woods with Seth, while George shovels cow manure and V. 23 | NO. 09

receives a group reprimand for swatting a fly. Sure, there are rampant new-age-y lampoons—almost everyone is a space cadet or loony, they over-pronounce words borrowed from other languages (as common as “Miami”) and do primal aggression exercises. Linda, feeling more confident than ever before, buys it wholesale as George grows further ostracized from the community. When it becomes clear that Seth has designs on Linda, George becomes fed up and leaves the farm all together. In many ways, Wanderlust is kind of the flipside of the widely accepted new-age enthusiasm as found in stuff like Eat Pray Love. The sarcasm is there, but so is the inevitable truth that participating in those kinds of activities (essentially, throwing yourself completely out of your comfort zone) is good for self-discovery and development. What it also teaches, however, is that turds come in every color of the rainbow, even in supposedly benevolent wackadoo hippie communes. Even without straight cynicism, the film doesn’t risk falling into the conventions of feel-good plotlines. Rick’s unhappy and leaden wife Marissa sneaks in a few observational barbs. The fights and couple-quandary discussions all feel as achingly real as they are hysterically funny, and Marino apparently knows exactly what a megalomaniacal husband would shout at his suffering wife. The remaining State crew (Michael Ian Black, Michael Showalter, and Wain himself) have spot-on cameos as smarmy misogynist local-TV newscasters. And, it’s fair to say that there is some Southern charm lurking behind it all—filmed on location in Georgia, there are references to cultural staples like R.E.M. and even The Real Housewives. In short, what almost shouldn’t work, in fact, does, and it’s entirely due to a strong, low-gimmick script about likable late-thirtysomethings (the new twentysomethings, after all) who have to find themselves again to be happy. And, naturally, it doesn’t hurt that every actor appears to be a gifted comedian working with some pretty apt material. METRO SPIRIT 03.01.12 37

OPENING FRIDAY, MARCH 2

FAMILY

“Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax,” rated PG, starring Zac Efron, Taylor Swift, Danny DeVito, Ed Helms, Betty White. Boy meets girl, boy does anything to get girl, including deal with an orange, roly-poly, Danny DeVito-voiced Lorax. Too bad, Zac: Taylor’s as pure as the driven snow. Those condoms you “accidentally” dropped on the red carpet at the premiere aren’t going to do you any good.

COMEDY

“Project X,” rated R, starring Thomas Mann, Oliver Cooper, Jonathan Daniel Brown. Offensive (and illegal) behavior, property damage and a little person locked in an oven… your typical teenage party hijinx. Think their parents will find out?

THE8ERS Movie times are subject to change.

Masters 7 Cinemas

March 2 Joyful Noise (PG-13) 4:15, 7, 9:40; Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (PG-13) 4, 6:45, 9:30; We Bought a Zoo (PG) 4:15, 9:20; The Adventure of Tintin (PG) 4:30, 7:15, 9:50; The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (R) 5, 8:30; Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (G) 5:15, 7:30, 9:50; Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (PG-13) 4, 6:45, 9:30; The Muppets (PG) 7 March 3 Joyful Noise (PG-13) 1:45, 4:15, 7, 9:40; Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (PG-13) 1, 4, 6:45, 9:30; We Bought a Zoo (PG) 4:15, 9:20; The Adventures of Tintin (PG) 1:30, 4:30, 7:15, 9:50; The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (R) 1:45, 5, 8:30; Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (G) 1, 3:10, 5:15, 7:30, 9:50; Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (PG-13) 1:15, 4, 6:45, 9:30; The Muppets (PG) 1:30, 7

1:30, 2:45, 4, 5:15, 7:10, 7:50, 9:55, 10:20, 12:25; Wanderlust (R) 12:35, 3:05, 5:30, 7:50, 10:10, 12:30; Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance 3D (PG-13) 12:20, 2:50, 5:25, 8, 10:25; The Secret World of Arrietty (G) 12:05, 2:25, 4:40, 7:05, 9:25; This Means War (PG-13) 12:15, 2:40, 5:15, 7:35, 10:05, 12:30; Journey 2: The Mysterious Island (PG) 12:30, 2:50, 5:10, 7:30, 9:50, 12:10; Safe House (R) 2:45, 5:20, 7:55, 10:30

Evans Cinemas

C E R WE

D N E M M O

“Fantastic Mr. Fox” It’s amazing the number of like-minded friends who have not seen “Fantastic Mr. Fox.” Movies always come up in conversation at parties, and generally when it comes to comedy, most everyone has seen the same films. “The Hangover,” “Bad Santa,” “Old School,” “Anchorman,” “Super Bad,” “Bridesmaids.” Check, check, check, check, check and check. But when “The Fantastic Mr. Fox” comes up, it’s nothing but blank stares. Maybe it’s because the marketing for the film made it seem like a kids flick. Maybe it’s because it came out during the 2009 year-end holiday rush of big movies. More than likely, however, it’s because it came out the same month as “Old Dogs,” one of the worst movies ever burned to film. After watching the pathetic acting turns by the botoxicated John Travolta and previously intoxicated Robin Williams, as well as the general horribleness of the script, many people swore off moving pictures for good. Regardless of the reasons, here’s the deal. It’s a Wes Anderson film, and for those who don’t know the name, he’s responsible for some of the brightest and most creative movies of the past fifteen years. “Bottle Rocket” in 1996, followed by “Rushmore” in ‘98, the insanely good “Royal Tenenbaums” in 2001 on up to the hilariously dry “The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou.” His movies are slow, sweet and hilarious. And excluding “Bottle Rocket,” Bill Murray is in everyone of them. Hailed as “Groundbreaking” by “Rolling Stone Magazine,” the film mixes several forms of animation, but is mostly stop action. The voices were recorded outside, away from the stuffy confines of a recording studio, which adds to the infectious feeling of spontaneity. George Clooney and Meryl Streep are the central characters, surrounded by a host of other great talents like Jason Schwartzman, Willem Dafoe, Owen Wilson and the aforementioned Bill Murray. It’s a classic you haven’t seen. Check it out.

38 METRO SPIRIT 03.01.12

March 2 Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax (PG) 3:00 ,5:20, 7:40, 10:00; Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax 3D (PG) RealD 3D 2:20, 4:40, 7:00,9:30; Project X (R) 2:10,4:25, 6:40, 9:35; Act of Valor (R) 2:40, 4:15, 5:10, 6:45, 7:40, 9:25, 10:10; Gone (PG-13) 7:50 , 10:05; Tyler Perry’s Good Deeds (PG13) 2:30, 4:00, 5:00, 6:30, 7:30, 9:10, 10:00 Wanderlust (R)2:30, 4:50, 7:20, 9:50; Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance (PG-13) 2:15, 4:50, 7:15; Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance 3D (PG-13) RealD 3D 9:55; This Means War (PG-13) 3:10, 5:25, 7:45, 10:05; Journey 2: The Mysterious Island (PG) 2:50, 5:30, 7:50, Journey 2: The Mysterious Island 3D (PG) RealD 3D 10:10; Safe House (R) 3:50, 6:50, 9:40; The Vow (PG-13) 4:30, 7:10, 9:45 The Artist (PG-13) 3:20, 5:35

Regal Exchange 20

March 2-3 Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax (PG) 12:15, 12:45, 1:15, 1:45, 2, 2:25, 2:55, 3:25, 4:15, 4:45, 5:05, 5:35, 7, 7:20, 7:45, 8:10, 9:10, 9:30, 9:55, 11:20, 11:40, 12:05; Project X (R) 12, 1, 2:10, 3:10, 4:20, 5:20, 7:15, 8:15, 9:40, 10:25, 11:50, 12:30; Act of Valor (R) 12, 12:30, 2:35, 2:55, 5:05, 5:25, 7:30, 8:05, 10, 10:30, 12:30; Gone (PG-13) 7:35, 9:50, 12:10; Tyler Perry’s Good Deeds (PG-13) 12:10, V. 23 | NO. 09

LIVE & LOCAL

and ne ver a c over! Thursday The Fustics Friday Night Rocks Causey Effect Saturday Night Live The Lunatics Sunday John Kolbeck Washington Road just past I-20 â&#x20AC;˘ 706-364-WILD (9453) w w w. w i l d w i n g c a f e . c o m V. 23 | NO. 09

METRO SPIRIT 03.01.12 39

Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Dennis Okeefe, Kaitlin Mongan and Valerie Capuy at the Nappy Roots Concert at Sky City.

SIGHTINGS

Donna Williams, Nadeen Strachan with Kahron and Tia Hollingsworth at the Nappy Roots Concert at Sky City.

Andrea Edwards with Bango Tango’s Joe Leste’ and Jason Guy at Coyote’s.

SIGHTINGS

Mike Greene, Jeanie Goodwin-Karow with Michelle and Keith Ford at Coyote’s

Ashley Otiz with Kathy and Thom Tuckey at the Augusta West Rotary Club’s “A Taste of Something Wild” at Julian Smith Barbecue Pit.

SIGHTINGS

Melissa Cohn, Matt Burns and Olivia Magoulas at the Augusta Player’s Chicago the Imperial Theatre.

40 METRO SPIRIT 03.01.12

Ryan Bowers, Katie Reese with Casey and Steve Munn at the Oscar Party at Casa Blanca.

Chris and Sara Clow with Jane and Todd Afshar at the Augusta West Rotary Club’s “A Taste of Something Wild” at Julian Smith Barbecue Pit.

Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Michael Hennessy, Jenna Miner, Sallie Williams and Mike Williams at the Oscar Party at Casa Blanca.

V. 23 | NO. 09

CUISINE SCENE

AMYCHRISTIAN

Beer Me! With more than 400 kinds in stock, Toast has become a beer haven For four years, wine connoisseurs throughout the area have known that the place to visit for a wide selection and unparalleled service is Columbia County’s Toast Wine & Beverage. These days, beer aficionados are joining them as well. “We have people who will stand here for hours reading the labels and studying these beers,” said Allan Barrett, general manager and managing partner of Toast. It’s not surprising. Toast has two displays: one for imports and one for domestics. Each is more than eight feet in length and four shelves deep. And that’s not even counting the cooler, the beer cave or the bargain bin, which customers can buy something they’ve probably never tried before for just two cents over what the story paid for it. Allison Cunningham, one of the store’s wine and beer specialists, says the evolution of the beer industry in the past few years has been interesting to watch. “Now it’s kind of like wines were three or four years ago,” she said. “If you look at a magazine like <<italics>>Cooking Light<<italics>>, they have stories about food and beer pairings. And now they have rating sites for beers just like they do for wines. It’s funny: Even the people who think they didn’t like beer have gotten into it.” Of course, she added, there is a reason that former beer critics have changed their minds: variety. “A lot of people based not liking beer on just trying the domestics or the run of the mill,” she said. And Toast definitely has these old standbys, especially in the beer cave, where icecold 12-packs and cases can be had. But that’s not all they have. Just like wines, there’s something for everyone at Toast when it comes to beer, from a hefeweizen (a German wheat beer perfect in the summer when served with a sliver of lemon) to a chocolate or coffee stout that is almost black in color. The flavor of the moment, Cunningham and Barrett agree, is Lazy Magnolia’s Southern Pecan Nut Brown Ale from Mississippi, but eagle-eyed customers will find everything from Tusker, a Kenyan lager, and Well’s Banana Bread Beer from England to Delaware’s Dogfish’s Pearl Jam 20. Even Sam Adams, America’s first well-known microbrewery, has gotten into the game with pint bottles of specialty beers like Tasman Red, Dark Depths IPA, Griffin’s Bow (a blond barley wine ale) and Cinder Bock Stone. All these choices beg the question: How exactly does one narrow it down? It’s an important question, given that many of

V. 23 | NO. 09

METRO SPIRIT 03.01.12 41

these specialty brews are just a tad more expensive than an everyday beer. Toast has answered this question by giving customers the option of buying a

if you’re going to like, you can buy a single for $5.” Single prices are listed on the shelves, right below the pack prices.

small increments to stores that want to sell it. “We don’t even put it on the shelf,” Cunningham said. “We just wait for

single (even ones sitting in a six-pack) or creating their own six pack. “Like this one,” said Cunningham, pointing to Samichlaus Classic, an Austrian dobbelbock. “It’s $19 for a four-pack. Before you spend that kind of money on a beer you don’t even know

Toast even stocks some beers that are so rare and so coveted that they don’t even make it out to the floor. Such is the case with Bell’s Hopslam, which is $15.99 for a six-pack. The company only makes one batch of this high-gravity, super-hoppy IPA and doles it out in

people to come in and ask for it.” Even those who love the rare find would do good to take advantage of Toast’s variety in beer selection. “If you drink this all the time,” she laughed, holding up a Hopslam six-pack, “you’ll be very intoxicated and your

42 METRO SPIRIT 03.01.12

palate will be wrecked.” And since Toast has 399 more beers to try, it’s best not to do that.

Toast Wine & Beverage 417 Fury’s Ferry Road Monday-Saturday, 9 a.m.-10 p.m. 706-922-8627 toastbev.com

V. 23 | NO. 09

SPONSOR THE

Metro Spirit’s Pet Page! lauren@themetrospirit.com

Spay/Neuter: The Only Answer! by Beverly Hixon

It’s Monday morning, 7:30 a.m. The phone rings. A panicked voice exclaims, “I’ve found a litter of puppies in a box on the side of a busy road. Abandoned! I don’t know what to do! Can you help me?” Of course, assures the volunteer, of course we will help. 7:45 a.m. Monday morning. The phone rings again. “We are camping at the lake and have found a stray yellow lab, starving but sweet. What should we do? Can you help us?” Absolutely, we will help you. 8:30 a.m. Another call. “As I was riding down the expressway on Saturday the car in front of me threw a kitten out of the window. I have him and he is limping. Maybe has a broken leg.” Can you help me? 9 a.m. The pet store calls. “Someone has tied a dog to the front door… left it here, alone. What on earth? Can you help?” Yes, we will help. 9:15 a.m. The vet calls to inform me that a shepherd surrendered by its owner last week is heartworm positive and may or may not make it. She is eight years old. “Do you want us to begin treatment?” Absolutely. Immediately. Save her. I wonder to myself how we will pay the bill. But that’s not important now. We’ll figure that out later. I finally have a moment to check my voicemail on my overworked cell phone. It is full and won’t accept another message. As always… more desperate pleas for help. It never ends. Never. These are real incidents, not fiction. This is a typical day in the life of an animal rescuer. This job is not for the faint of heart. It takes a special person to take on this monumental task, a very special person… and an army of volunteers… and fosters willing to open their homes, often making the difference between life and death to a homeless animal. They are depending on us to save them and just give them a safe place to be temporarily. Every year in the United States, an estimated three to four million cats and dogs are killed in animal shelters. In 2011, more than 10,000 animals were euthanized in Richmond County and more than 1,700 in Columbia County. The simple fact is that there are far more cats and dogs in the world than there are people who are willing to adopt them. Most were recklessly or accidentally bred. Most are perfectly healthy and adoptable. Sadly, the fact that these deaths could be prevented makes them all the more tragic and intolerable. Homeless animals endure immense suffering — fear, hunger, injuries, illness and loneliness. For those who work to save their lives, emotions run the gamut… from sadness, when you witness unimaginable cruelty and neglect, to euphoria when a homeless companion animal finds a loving, forever home. Safe, at last! How can we help? How can we make a difference in our own community? Permanent sterilization is the answer. We simply must be responsible pet owners and ensure that we don’t add to the problem. By sterilizing your pet, the risk of many types of disease such as cancer is eliminated in both dogs and cats. Also, a neutered feline is less likely to roam in search of mates, fighting and spreading leukemia or AIDS through exchange of bodily fluids. A sterilized animal is often a more affectionate companion. Sterilization reduces many behavior and temperament problems, which is a definite benefit to pet owners.

V. 23 | NO. 09

Benefits to society as a whole are huge. The cost to catch, shelter, euthanize and dispose of homeless animals is a tremendous cost to taxpayers. By sterilizing your animal, you help reduce these expenses while enabling shelters to make better use of their limited resources. Adopt from shelters and rescue organizations. Even if you are looking for a particular breed, many times, they can be found. Keep your animal safe by placing an ID tag on his or her collar or, even better, have it microchipped. Most animals that are microchipped can be quickly returned to their owners. Also, try to prevent your dog or cat from getting lost in the first place by securing your house or yard. Consider keeping your cats inside, as indoor cats have much longer lifespans on average than outdoor cats. The cost of sterilizing your animal is much less than caring for a litter of puppies or kittens each year. There are low-cost clinics in our community and organizations that will help. We can make a difference if we all do our part. The question now is “can you help us?”

Upcoming Benefits March 31 Block Party 2012 Sponsored by Vic’s Motorcycle Sales and Service. 10 a.m. 2113 Harding Rd (off Peach Orchard Rd) Augusta, GA 30906 A benefit for Feathered Friends Forever Bird Sanctuary in Harlem, admission is $10 and the event includes live music from bands and DJs, a Poker Run, field events, a live internet feed and raffles. For more information on the event, call 706-691-5093 or 803-640-4329. For more information on Feathered Friends Forever, a nonprofit that cares for exotic birds, visit featheredfriendsforever.org.

Taz and Layla Litter mates 9 months old, payed and neutered adopted as a pair. Happy Tails 706-955-0438 petfinder.com

May 20 Village Deli’s Annual Charity Golf Tournament A benefit for That’s What Friends Are For, Inc., a 501C3 that raises money for local rescues, spay and neuter and more. Registration will begin in March. Call 706-736-3691 or visit thatswhatfriendsarefor.org.

Ongoing Adoption Events PETCO 4209 Washington Road, Evans Saturdays, 11 a.m.-4 p.m., Sundays, 1-4 p.m. Mikey Sugar and Spice 2-3-year old chow/shepherd mix 11-week-old terrier mixes owner surrendered Abandoned in church parking lot very friendly with other dogs Ready for a forever home Happy Tails Happy Tails 706-955-0438 706-955-0438 petfinder.com petfinder.com

AARF volunteers@aarf.net Augusta Humane Society 706-736-0186 Augusta-Richmond Co. Animal Services 706-790-6836 Boston Terrier Rescue of South Carolina 706-726-2221 or 803-279-8069 bostonrescueofsc.org

PetSmart 225 Robert C. Daniel Parkway, Augusta Saturdays, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Tractor Supply 596 Bobby Jones Expressway, next to Sam’s Club Saturdays and Sundays from 1-4 p.m.

Feathered Friends Forever 706-556-2424 featheredfriendsforever.org Girard Life Saver 706-871-8273, 478-569-9209 samantha@girard-lifesaver.org Graced Kennels 706-738-7168 Happy Tails 706-955-0438, 706-836-2708 csrahappytails@gmail.com

Columbia Co. Animal Services 706-541-4077

Heartsong 706-855-1241 heartsongent@hotmail.com

CSRA Chihuahua Rescue 706-825-8090, 706-763-8071 csrachihuahuarescue@gmail.com

Helping Hands Humane Society 706-456-3339 wytwch@yahoo.com

CSRA Humane Society 706-261-7387 csrshumanesociety.org

Long Dog Rescue 706-854-8646 bmeismer@comcast.net

Old Fella Burke County pope.jodi@gmail.com oldfella.org STARS 706-592-4158 starsrescue.org Washington-Wilkes Humane 706-678-2287

Fundraising Organizations for Local Rescue and Spay/Neuter Efforts PawPrints Foundation 706-863-2067 pawprintsfoundation.org That’s What Friends Are For, Inc. c/o The Village Deli 706-736-3691 thatswhatfriendsarefor.org

METRO SPIRIT 03.01.12 43

44 METRO SPIRIT 03.01.12

V. 23 | NO. 09

ON THE BALL

The System Did Not Fail Will Price; He Did Support Circle for Local Baseball Player Not To Blame for Act of Stupidity

The saying is tried and true. Children: They don’t come with instruction manuals, ya know. Now for those who’ll condemn me for having the gall to seemingly approach a situation where a former local baseball standout is charged with involvement in second-degree burglary and grand larceny and categorize it as merely an instance of “boys being boys”, do me a favor and at least triple your attention span in order to make it halfway through this column before casting your knee-jerk reaction. Can’t wait for the award-winning commentary from the Anonymous All-Stars in the Whine Line. If only society rewarded individuals based on lazy thinking and keen hindsight, boy would you guys (and gals!) be something. Over the past few days I’ve heard and seen many understandable responses to former Greenbrier baseball player Will Price being arrested and charged for having a part in kicking in the door of a Spartanburg home and stealing over $115,000 worth of jewelry and electronics. That’s why the comment section and need for community feedback exists. Shame on him! What on earth was he thinking!? Does he really understand what sort of line he crossed here? His promising career on the diamond is over! All of these are well intentioned and good. They serve as snapshots of our personal assessments and are expressed in a way that truly presents the gravity of the situation. That is, until they become nothing more than a bully pulpit from high in our ivory towers in which we use the apparatus to tell others how they’ve failed the person of interest. I’m hearing too much noise as to how the family and those closely associated with Will Price failed him and significantly contributed to his lack of structure, which leads in the suddenly accredited condemner’s eyes to student-athletes doing really stupid things along the lines of, but not limited to abusing alcohol and/or drugs, committing crimes, etc. What a grossly underdeveloped diagnosis. Can we stop placing blame on everybody else already? It’s really starting to get embarrassing here. We allow men the age of Price to enlist in the military, and potentially make the ultimate sacrifice for our country, but we also entertain the thought that his actions are the fault of anybody else but himself? Even reputable—term is used loosely-- therapists talk of the dangers of idolizing athletes and placing them on pedestals, and how the community also plays a part into their self-inflated demise. Why should we feel sick to our stomach because someone else drinks too much of their own Kool-Aid? Will Price is the only person who can live inside his own head. His support system failed him so bad that they did what we in the USA consider to be the baseline for thumbs up, right? I mean he’s enrolled in college isn’t he? From where I’m from, that means that it’s up to you now. People have conquered worldwide industries with less education. There is no extra room in the U-Haul for a nightlight. Parents and coaches can’t patrol dorm rooms 24/7 in every family’s ongoing effort to keep their daughters off the pole, and their sons off of The Bachelor. You are on your own as it pertains to what you do and don’t do, as well as who you listen to and hang out with. What’s the age limit before everyone is ultimately responsible and

make a real connection Call Livelinks. The hottest place to meet the coolest people.

held accountable by the same standard? I always thought it was after high school, so has that changed and I’m just late to the party? I’m not defending what Price did, or saying that he or anyone closely associated with him are not placing full responsibility on him for his part in the crime that was committed. I’m just asking everyone to stop being so self-righteous for once. We’re talking about a student-athlete who made a terrible decision and will no doubt suffer the consequences. Just stop playing Monday Morning therapist in trying to fuse the fault to include someone else.

MATTLANE is host of The Weekend Rundown which airs from 10 a.m.-noon Saturdays on News-Talk-Sports 1630 AM. He can be reached at mattlane28@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter @Mattlane28.

BUY GET

ONE, ONE

CELEBRATING 6 YEARS AT THE MARTINEZ LOCATION.

706.434.0108 V. 23 | NO. 09

Local Numbers: 1.800.926.6000 Ahora en Español 18+ www.livelinks.com

see page 08 METRO SPIRIT 03.01.12 45

WHINE

LINE

I was so sorry to see that “Cowboy” Mike Searles will retire from ASU in the fall. He was a real treasure to the college and the community. I guarantee we’ll see more beloved local educators leaving the university in advance of “El Dictator” taking over the school. I think we will all breathe a sigh of relief when he finishes his demolition project at MCG and takes the job we all know he’s aiming for elsewhere. I give him three years before he’s outta here. To the two gentlemen who appeared at our house Sunday morning after seeing the smoke.... THANK YOU!!! Your help during our house fire may have very well saved our home. You are appreciated soooo much. You were like our guardian angels and you were gone before I could thank you in person. So sad to see how [name redacted] could get friendliest staff through metro spirit, yet have one of the rudest, unpleasent, and most spitiful day time bartenders ive ever come in contact with. She was not only rude to me and my coworkers, but down right mean to her own coworkers. So to whom ever runs the show over there, they might wanna think about a change up before she runs any more of your business off, cause i know we’ll never be back. The Columbia County School Board has the brooms out sweeping Lakeside Middle dirt under the proverbial carpet. I guess Humpty Dumpty is out as the school play this year. why do real people forgive and so called christians will not? Why on earth did BillyBoy’s hotel wait til the last minute to say they supposedly need much better air than mandated by state laws? Even if BillyBoy and his paper can show the supposed professional evaluation of breakdown for the cost of the upgrade to the air, the city should refuse to pay for it. BillyBoy can pay for that himself. He must be pulling it to get the monies for himself that he could not cheat from the city over the land. So the price of gas is going up again. Please print out the gas companies, the amount of millions they are making, and the names of the owners. Then we can pick which gas station we least hate to use for the high cost of gas. Maybe we can now jump up more riders on the Augusta Public Transit buses. But then they need to provide another bus on at least the Augusta Mall run. We’ve been nigh full on those buses late to standing room only at times. What’s with MCG FOundation trying to buy the city property to then sell off for higher monies for the Foundation? While they want monies desparately, that smells rotten of what they were trying to do in directly selling the property themselves to Wal-Mart. But there better be a good grocery

46 METRO SPIRIT 03.01.12

WHINELINE@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM

Have something you want to get off your chest? Send your whines to whineline@themetrospirit. com. If you do so by noon on Friday, you might just see it in the next Wednesday’s issue. Oh, and whines may be edited for content but will pretty much be printed exactly as you type them.

The question is on every one of those quizzes your friends alway send you: What would you request for your last meal? Why it’s such a topic of curiosity remains a mystery, but seeing what executed killers requested is doubly fascinating. That’s why lastmealsproject.com is such a glorious time-waster. There, visitors will find pictures of infamous inmates and what their last meals consisted of, as well as background information on them. Interspersed with these oddities is trivia: what lethal injection consists of, how much different aspects of putting someone to death cost (the executioner is paid $150, apparently) and more. Created by Jonathon Kambouris, it is clearly anti-death penalty propaganda, but is nonetheless intriguing regardless of your views on the subject.

WERECOMMEND store there for a lot of us folks in the area who depend on it from blocks away, all the way down to the Bon Air and for folks miles away who don’t want to depend on Bi-Lo.

I hear GHSU will make good on a monument for John Wesley Gilbert for their getting the property of Gilbert Manor to use. Now I want them to think about a correction to a monument that MCG under Rahn set up at Cedar Grove. It was not proper to say thank you of the GIFTS of the bodies of the people that were STOLEN from their graves. How would you really feel if it was YOUR ancestors that were directly stolen and that they were thanked for a their “gifts?” That was a very improper way to really do honor. Rephrase things and make the monument really be counted as an acknowledgement of the thefts and true honorable reburial of the bodies. why does alvin mason grandstand so much on tv? he is a jerk , and thinks he is the mayor, bill lockett is a jackass, and hatney has no clue at all! Some of the comments that Austin Rhodes said in his article “River Glen homicides:same dance different day” is not always true or not true. It’s not just black on black crimes that happen in some black neighborhoods,etc. There has been some white on white crimes that happen in some white neighborhoods,etc.also.There has been some people in all races that has committed some crimes in their neighborhoods,etc.also. In fact,Austin Rhodes and Rush Limbaugh has said some comments in the past that is not always true or not true in the metro spirit and on news-talk radio also. Thank you, ASU, for showing those films “The Steering Committee” and “Stars and Bars Aflame.” Not only were they educational but they really showed us some of the bad times that some people unfortunately suffered. Hats off to those two guys who made their separate films: Hodges Usry and Banks Pappas, respectively. Just because some people is on welfare.That dosen’t always mean that they are lazy.Although,there are some cases of welfare fraud,not everybody that is on welfare is misusing welfare. In fact,there are some people out there in this world that is on welfare and have a job because they can’t afford to buy food,clothes or pay all the bill they have.Some of you out there may never know if you going to need welfare or not in the future.

In regards to the whine last week about Morris running this town: I don’t know where Pullman, Chicago, is (perhaps you meant Pullman, Illinois?) but I that’s quite the conspiracy theory, to liken Billy Morris to Chicago’s Daley family. You’re implying that Augusta’s politics involve dynastic succession, kickbacks and thuggery; that city workers get hired and children get admitted to magnet schools based on political connections; and that city contracts are awarded based on similarly political favoritism. Oh, no, wait, that sounds about right. Carry on. Regarding last week’s whine about welfare recipients at the grocery store at 1 p.m.: The next time I see a welfare and/or disability recipient with five kids in a public place wearing pajama bottoms at 1 p.m., I’m going to think, “Wow. If only we had universal health care to provide birth control; and/ or affordable child care that isn’t absolutely terrifying in this town; and/or politicians who actually understand economics instead of just arguing to maintain their political power, then people might not be in these untenable situations.” Woo! New Moon moving to the White’s building! If they give [name redacted] enough competition, maybe that stain on the local restaurant scene will close her poorly run and rudely staffed so-called “cafe.” A WORD FROM THE WISED-UP: SUNDAY’S WALMART FLYER IS A RELIABLE LIST OF STUFF YOU WON’T FIND THERE. I hate rain on daytona 500 sunday I reckon half my crew will be sick on Monday Now Bad Billy, Bad Paul, Baaaaddd Freeddd and the Marriott all claime they need all those extra air exchanges and that there is money in some contingency fund for the extra expense. Why can’t you Bad Boys learn how to play nice and tell us everything up front at one time in advance? If this is the way you do business, no wonder you have so much trouble with the paper now. And with your baaaaddd to your behind images.

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