Metro Spirit 03.07.2013 by Metro Spirit

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METRONEWS AUGUSTA TEK CROSSWORD FEATURE

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EVENTS CALENDAR JENNY IS WRIGHT

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SLAB MATT’S MUSIC

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WHINE LINE

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o r t e m IR P S

INSIDER RUFFIN’ IT AUSTIN RHODES

THE8 ART 45 SIGHTINGS

Metro Spirit is a freee newspaper published publis weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks eks a year. Editorial coverage includes local ocal al issues and news, arts, arts entertainment, entert people, places and pectrum. The he views do not necessarily represent present the views of the th publisher. publish Visit us at metrospirit.com. m.© events. In our paperr appear views from across the political and social spectrum. ner/Publisher: Joe White. Legal: Phillip Scott Hibbard. Reproduction or use without permissio p person, perso please. 15 House, LLC. Owner/Publisher: permission is prohibited. One copy per

CONTENTS

Fun with a Heart: Second Annual ETCP Spring Fest serves up fun with an eye to the future

EricJohnson|news editor eric@themetrospirit.com

GabrielVega|lead designer gabe@themetrospirit.com

BrendaCarter|senior account executive brenda@themetrospirit.com

AmyChristian|arts editor/production director amy@themetrospirit.com

JoeWhite|publisher joe@themetrospirit.com

JohnnyBeckworth|circulation manager johnny@themetrospirit.com

Michael-RKQVRQ_VLJKWLQJV Valerie(PHULFN_ZULWHU Amy3HUNLQV_HGLWRULDO LQWHUQ Laura3HUU\_YROXQWHHU KristinHawkins|editorial intern

WHINELINE Hey neighbors... guess who’s calling the police and animal control tomorrow about you throwing your dog s**t from your yard out into the street?? ME!!!!! But the s**t that will be in your mailbox and underneath your car door handles... definitely not me.

Don’t feel bad dude. I can’t do the crossword either. What A shame that a couple of participants in the “ rolling thunder “ operation crashed and were not wearing seat belts ( a part of the operation is to fine citizens for the not wearing seat belts ) to me It sorted of tainted the operation.... Which is ironic since FUMUNDER is

where the taint is located! They believed the Repubs when they said that government spending never created one job and that cutting government spending would create jobs, they believed them when they said the job creators are hurting and need a tax cut, they believed them when they said the sequestration

was all hype. Now that my SRS coworkers are being furloughed they believe its all a Democratic plot. These dim wits believe that drinking the koolaid punch will save this country. What a tragic day for our community when Happy Tails Rescue closes down - because arrogant State officials, namely Mark Murrah

o r t e m IRIT SP (Murrder-a) with GA Dept of Agriculture, strongarms someone who has unselfishly saved so many lives for us. He is a waste of taxpayer money to bring legal charges/lawsuit to our community.. (continued on page 38)

Considering the Unthinkable: Plan prepares for dam failure Travel Logic: Groups tout power of tourism to local economy

Commission Censure: Ethics violations result in three censures and grandstanding

COVER DESIGN: KRUHU Want to advertise in the Metro Spirit? 706.496.2535 or 706.373.3636

INSIDER@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM Insider is an anonymous, opinion-based examination of the hidden details of Augusta politics and personalities.

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The Last Insulation Science, military, medical and industry have kept Augusta pretty insulated from the national financial crisis. But now that SRS is facing significant cuts, our base is beginning to stagger. Our Army post is a much needed communications hub for the entire globe, yet now it appears to be susceptible to significant cuts. SRS, a mainstay in the local economy, is looking down the barrel of major employment reductions. Industry has seen a hit with Proctor and Gamble’s mothballing and Federal Paper shrinking. The last leg of our stable economy is medical. Dr. Azziz has his detractors. As a change agent, he has made many people angry. He changed the name of a college. He has shaken up the “status quo” of the academic world of Augusta. Turning an aircraft carrier takes a lot of time and space. Perhaps he didn’t feel he had the time or the space. But one day, the CSRA may wake up and see how his arrival was just in time, his changes the right ones. Yes, Augusta, we have been spoiled with national tax dollars. Some perspective may be in order as we look at the big picture of the CSRA’s overall economic health as it relates to GRU and its new path.

I’ll See Your Censure and Raise You a Reprimand Now that the offending commissioners have received their punishment for doing work for the city — slaps on the wrist and a voluntary two years of staying clear of the city once they’re done serving on the commission — it’ll be interesting to see how smoothly things go once everyone picks up the pieces and moves on. Contrition isn’t known for its shelf life, and the commission isn’t known for letting things go. Not that any great hurdle was crossed here, but once you start playing the ethics game, once you get a taste for judging your colleagues, it might be a hard thing to stop, especially given how much some commissioners like to show their disapproval. What the three did was wrong. What’s more, it was obviously wrong. But you can bet we haven’t seen the last of the finger pointing or heard the last of the complaining. Unless they can successfully turn on Fred Russell, at which case all will be forgotten… at least until they get to what comes next.

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Out of the Frying Pan State Sen. Bill Jackson might just want to thank Demetrius Andrew Mack for taking him off the hook for earlier comments he made in opposition of gun control. During a discussion of a mental health bill touted as doing more to prevent mass shootings than gun control, the Appling Republican said that more murders were committed last year with hammers than shotguns. Though the 25-year-old Mack did not kill his victim, according to police he did use a hammer to attack a man and his 2012 Chevy Malibu. Jackson also warned of the danger of frying pans, but so far no one has admitted to being hit by one of those.

To the Editor: This is a response from Bonnie Ruben to the anonymous cowardly writer who has made attacks on Ruben’s Department Store for the last three weeks in this Whine Line. If you have some issues with me personally or with our business, which has been a steadfast supporter of downtown and has been providing quality clothing and service to Augusta families for over 114 years, why don’t you identify yourself. It is very easy to spew sarcastic venom while hiding in the dark shadows of your underground internet nest. You are neither funny nor very smart with your ethnic innuendos or attacks on one of the few businesses that have remained loyal to Broad Street and downtown. We have been providing jobs as well as providing quality clothing and shoes in hard to find sizes since 1898. Your snide remarks are those of a troubled, negative and destructive person. Whether you are a rejected job applicant or have some other personal issues, you are a coward who lacks credibility. Bonnie Ruben Augusta

To the Editor: Josh Ruffin’s second amendment article (2/21/13) was a journalistic masterpiece. He clearly explained the meaning and intent of the Constitution’s second amendment. The second amendment was not meant to give private citizens the right to own a gun. Right wing gun fanatics and manufacturers use that as a marketing strategy to increase gun sales. Gun manufacturers care nothing about individual rights, freedom or the well being of society. Private citizens gunning down private citizens induces fear and leads to more gun sales. Now, society is less safe. To them it’s all about the dollar. In reality, gun advocates have more to fear from their neighbor than the government. Ninety-nine percent of gun crimes are committed by hateful, criminally minded, emotionally unstable private citizens. A tyrannical government conspiring to disarm all private citizens is a myth. Kevin Palmer Martinez 07MARCH2013

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Fallout

It might not be nuclear, but to PC volunteers, it’ll be close enough If you’re a Stanley Kubrick fan, you know that this sequester nonsense is kind of like “Dr. Strangelove, Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.” Probably the greatest black comedy in history, the film looks at what happens when a rogue general goes completely off his nutter and orders a tactical nuclear strike against the Soviet Union during the Cold War. Of course, the prospect of worldwide nuclear war and the ensuing, skull-melting fallout, plus the looming threat of the Soviet “Doomsday Machine,” designed to detonate if any attempt is made to defuse it, should all be enough to dissuade either side from ever doing anything that stupid, right? Right? See, the sequester was actually orchestrated, much as it pains me to say it, by Obama himself a few years ago. Like the “mutual destruction” agreement between the United State and the Soviet Union — a very real-life possibility to boot — these deep, across-the-board, automatic cuts were designed to be so devastating that Congress would have to be either positively insane or a bunch of whiny, kowtowing coward-babies who can’t be trusted to not s**t in the bathroom sink, much less act in the nation’s best interest. Whoopsies. In any case, I want to take a look at perhaps one of the more overlooked organizations that stands to suffer significant cutbacks: the Peace Corps. For one thing, last week was officially Peace Corps Week. Also, I’m married to a former volunteer, went to school with several others, and did a stint in the Conservation Corps, a domestic, environmentally focused offshoot of the program, so I feel some kinship and a niggling sense of responsibility. So, to maybe shame you into having a productive dialogue with each other instead of blaming this whole clusterf*cked situation on those damned conservatives or those damned librulls, here’s some of what every PC volunteer endures, and what every one of them are in danger of enduring. 1. Some Parts of the World Are Kind of Unstable And, news flash, these are the countries most in need of the kind of assistance the Peace Corps provides. Destabilization, if not the outright cause, exacerbates domestic discontent, fragile economies and already difficultto-regulate militaries and police forces. Of the six or so Peace Corps volunteers I know, for example, two of them have served in countries that either underwent a military coup during their tenure there, or just after: the former in Honduras and the latter in Madagascar. The Madagascar volunteers were almost immediately

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evacuated without incident. For some reason, the Honduras volunteers were not picked up until violence directed against the volunteers and other American visitors began to spike dramatically. Forgetting for a moment the very real danger of your personal livelihood and life being threatened. Imagine what it must be like to know that there is no stable government. Bands of militaristic factions operating autonomously, patrolling or not patrolling at their discretion, extorting citizens either by orders or at a whim. What government there is is slapdash, and opinions waver as to whether or not the international community will consider it legitimate. There is little regulation except baser instincts, except the human animal left to his own moral devices. A little dramatic? Maybe. But remember that the next time you start calling Obama, or hell, even Bush, a tyrant. You have no idea. And speaking of having no idea… 2. The First World Is Oblivious Call me insensitive, but I barely batted an eye when I was told Michael Jackson had passed away. Maybe it was because I valued his existence strictly on an artistic level, and it had already become painfully aware that his last gasp of brilliance was expelled with the overambitious “HIStory” double album way back in 1995. Maybe it was because I was about three hours removed from a particularly strenuous hitch during my Conservation Corps summer, and just wanted to get as much sleep as possible before my teammates and I headed out to replenish all the toxins we’d worked off during the previous two weeks. That same day, my wife, then unknown to me and serving in Peace Corps Honduras, received a similar message from a friend — just after the country’s military coup. She would tell me, after some months of dating, exactly what she thought at that moment: “Well, that’s it, then.” Meaning: any chance of mainstream coverage for the coup was now obliterated, all because a reclusive celebrity had finally kicked the bucket. Recently (as in yesterday), she received a Facebook message from another acquaintance serving in Madagascar (the region has been somewhat restabilized), bemoaning the nationwide effect of that country’s teachers’ strike. Granted, there’s a lot going on in our nation right now, but still; you’d like to think that your first response to the crippling of education in a developing nation like Madagascar wouldn’t be “Whuh?” Our American celebration of the celebrity — which

borders on mania — isn’t, in this context, even about bad timing or unfortunate coincidence. Recall, in the aftermath of the Benghazi attack, when Ambassador Stevens’ memorial service was being held. It was a solemn, sobering, somber affair, and was rightfully given ample, yet minimalistic coverage by most major news outlets… except the Today Show, where Mama Kardashian was discussing her recent breast augmentation surgery. This goes beyond timing, and is simply a reflection of societal priority. 3. You Are Alone Professionally: Unless you work in education, where you have a built-in structure involving a school year, loose curriculum and classes, you are responsible for creating your own work. That means applying for and implementing grants, identifying local need and initializing the project, etc. It means reading and navigating cultural boundaries, and working with and around them. It means, in some cases, white guilt. Personally: Let’s be clear — this is a jarring experience, in all contexts: culture shock goes without saying, and depending on your previous financial situation (a couple of people I know went from making $65,000 a year to working for PC stipend), it’s an economic backhand. If you’re lucky, you live with a mildly affluent local family, with a giant guard dog named Lobster. If you’re not, well… good luck. Medically: Let’s be clear again — your body is going to freak the ever-loving thunderf*ck out. Your bowels will empty so often and violently that your butthole runs the risk of becoming a cosmic anomaly. You will coat your body in ointment to close your pores and smother out the ticks. You’ll spend so much time in self-quarantine that soon the townspeople will start coming to you and asking you about the meaning of life. There are over 210,000 people willing to undertake this kind of work-hell in these kinds of conditions. The least we can do is not make it suck for them even more.

JOSHRUFFIN, a Metro Spirit alum, is a published

journalist and poet who just received his MFA from Georgia College & State University. He was once the most un-intimidating bouncer at Soul Bar.

MONEY

DOESN’T

GROW ON TREES (Although some local tree services must believe belililiev be evee it does ev ddoe oess according oe acco ac cord co rdin rd ingg to their in tthe heir he ir estimates!) est estim sttim imat ates at ess!))

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Remedial Ethics Classes Needed for Many More than a year after the complaint was filed, Walker amended his reports, revealing that Georgia Personnel Services Inc. received nearly $1.5 million from Grady and almost $130,000 from MCG between 1997 and 2000.â&#x20AC;?

In the wake of all the ethics discussions Augusta commissioners have had thrust upon them, perhaps we should take a moment to reflect on the need of so many others in our midst to drink long and hard from that same cup. For instance... * It is all fine and good to hold city elected officials responsible for not following the rules when it comes to doing business with the government they are elected to run, but the minuscule infractions pale in comparison to the gargantuan misdeeds of other politicians, who were far more flagrant in their business dealing with local governmental entities they helped control. Anyone remember this clip, written 11 years ago by Dave Williams, of the Morris News Service:

Kinda makes the â&#x20AC;&#x153;currently accusedâ&#x20AC;? look like a bunch of chronic underachievers. This stuff was par for the course for many of our state legislators for years. Henry Howard always seemed to have business going with some local municipal service, Tom Allgood built a â&#x20AC;&#x153;nursing home empireâ&#x20AC;? on money piped in straight from governmental coffers, George Brownâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s family business sold enough food through government programs to feed several armies, and who could forget the aforementioned Senator Walkerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Richmond County Sidewalk Scandal that saw lots of dough flow his way for ill-trained labor who built crapshackle quality sidewalks that eventually had to be torn out and replaced? Local elected officials have been sucking from the government teat as far back as anyone alive can remember. So be angry that rules were not followed, but donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get carried away with righteous indignation. Augusta politicians have a hunger for government contracts built into their DNA. * I am still compiling data on this, but has anyone noticed how many new faces have popped up (or old faces popped into) in positions with the Richmond County Sheriffâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Office since January 1? Tracking the pay of the new folks, there are some veterans lagging behind them who are seething. While Sheriff Richard

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Georgia Senate Majority Leader Charles Walker agreed to pay $8,500 in civil penalties Friday, resolving an ethics complaint that he failed to reveal his business dealings with two state-funded hospitals... â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;â&#x20AC;&#x2122;...I accept responsibility for my actions, and I have sought to make amends,â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;&#x2122; Walker said in a written statement released by his lawyers after Fridayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s vote. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Now, I will move on.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;&#x2122; The most serious among several complaints charged that Walker failed to list on his financial-disclosure reports income his temporary-services company received from Atlantaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Grady Memorial Hospital and the Medical College of Georgia in Augusta. The ethics law requires elected officials to report annual income greater than $20,000 they get from doing business with the state. A

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Roundtree seems to be within his rights creating a bunch of new rules, and arbitrarily throwing out old ones, very few I hear from agree that these are logical or ethical decisions. * David Kitchens, a 30-year law enforcement veteran, the last 19 of which have been spent with the Columbia County Sheriffâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Office. It is that agency that is charging him with illegally accessing department records, reportedly at times when he was on the clock with the county, for the purpose of turning the names and addresses of those listed in crime reports as prospective clients to attorneys and others who do business with such people. It is one thing to mine public records on your own time, but if Kitchens was doing it before records were properly filed, cases closed, or for the expressed purpose of putting certain attorneys on the trail of potential clients using information usually kept quarantined for a time, boy is his fanny in a ringer. As far as the attorneys that may have been paying him to do such a thing, with the added bonus of soliciting prospective clients personally for them, while he was in uniform, the Bar Association is going to want to have a few words with those folks to be sure. As we go to press, it appears the lawyers he may have been working for are all from out of town. Time will tell.

621 NW FRONTAGE ROAD | AUGUSTA, GA 30907 07MARCH2013

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ERICJOHNSON

Considering the Unthinkable Plan prepares for dam failure

Strom Thurmond Dam

Though everyone agrees that the odds of a catastrophic failure at the J. Strom Thurmond Dam are slim, thousands of Columbia County homes lay within the inundation area should such an unlikely event take place. And according to EMA Director Pam Tucker, the revised speed at which the released waters would expand throughout the county make preparedness a necessity. “In the former plan, the water would take 30 minutes to reach the first tributary,” Tucker said. “In the new information they provided me, it takes six minutes. That’s a big change.” And because the approximately 800 billion gallons of water held back by the dam would not just go down the Savannah River but would also go up the tributaries, such an event could impact homeowners as far inland as Columbia Road. In fact, the flood area would cover three zip codes. All of which is why Tucker, who started the plan a year ago, was anxious for the Corps of Engineers to release its data so she could get on with the plan, which was last updated in 2005. “Once they completed the Thurmond Dam piece, we were able to go ahead with overlaying the population and the inundation area,” Tucker said. Though she said she is still waiting for data from the corps regarding a cascading dam failure event, which would be the collapse of the Hartwell and Russell dams, Tucker said she was anxious to get the information out to homeowners. 8

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“As soon as I get that information, I will add it in here as well,” she said. “I just wanted to go ahead because I like for people to have an idea of what the plan is and what the arrival times are.” And while the corps’ revised calculations have drastically increased the arrival of the water, the area’s growth has also increased the number of people living in the inundation area. “That’s another big change,” Tucker said. “It was 7,000-something before, and now it’s 13,700.” The plan, which was approved by the Columbia County Commission Tuesday night, is available on the county website and lists each address, road and subdivision in the inundation area. Residents can also use the county’s maps online feature to pull up their specific address by typing in their address, clicking on the layers option, then clicking on environment. A dam inundation option exists, and if a user then refreshes the screen, a colored map shows whether or not the home would be affected by the water. In late 2011, the Corps of Engineers requested that the county remove the maps from the older plan citing national security concerns, but Tucker refused to sign a nondisclosure agreement and the corps didn’t push it. In spite of their earlier desire to keep the details of the inundation area secret, the corps’ recent attitude has been to downplay the possibility of a dam failure, something that irritated Tucker. “The fact that the dam exists mandates that I have

a plan,” she said. “Is it the highest disaster on my list of things I’m going to focus on every day? No. We do this plan so people know there is a plan. I’ve learned that people aren’t terrified of these things for the most part, but they want to know that you’re doing the best you can do to warn them, and that you have provisions for them when they do have to leave their homes.” Tucker has set up a reverse 911 for three groups, starting with those closest to the river. In addition, she would be able to activate the Emergency Alert System, NOAA radios and other systems. “We actually have encoders in the Emergency Operation Center so that, for anything that’s not weather related, we can activate it from here,” she said. “We also have encoders in the Mobile Operations Center. We don’t have to ask anybody to activate the systems — we can do it ourselves.” Should such an event occur, the dam failure plan would yield to other plans once the initial warning phase concluded. “It’s just with the dam we had to have the plan just to itself because it’s a fixed location and you know exactly where the water’s going to go based on the geography,” she said. “You

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GREGORY A. BAKER, PH.D

The Maker

Minions, Robots and World Domination Ever since the movie “Despicable Me” was released, each member of my family has expressed an overwhelming desire to reign over an army of minions. Let’s face it — who wouldn’t? With just a few minions around the house, imagine what you could accomplish. Doing laundry or cooking meals would be a thing of the past. A playing partner for Mario Carts or Just Dance would always be available, and willing to do “whatever is necessary” to beat your parents (or children, as the case may be). And, of course, if one weekend you ever felt the urge for world domination, the huggable band of one- and two-eyed, banana-colored goofballs could easily throw together a few nuclear weapons and a rocket-propelled delivery system for you to intimidate your neighbors. Alas, however, minions are in very short supply in Augusta, notwithstanding our own downtown GRU. (Just for the record, if Minions are not selected as the official mascot for Georgia Regents University, it will be the most tragic lost opportunity for college school spirit and tradition since Admiral Ackbar was denied the mascot position at Ole Miss.) So what is an aspiring megalomaniac to do when minions cannot be found? The answer is easy — Evil robots. Unfortunately, the production of an army of evil robots does not occur overnight. If the 10,000-hour rule is to be observed, many years must be spent studying, creating and maturing the necessary production skills. You must learn integrated circuits, radio frequency (RF) communications, digital logic, controller programming languages, 3D printing and host of other design and manufacturing tools. Each tool is designed to build and integrate the different components and subsystems, the totality of which results in a unified creation whose individual parts are indistinguishable and inseparable from the whole. If you want to own the capacity to reshape the world, you must first become a Maker. Technology is the realm of the Maker. The Maker depends on technology as their primary tool to transform ideas into a physical creation. For example, 100 years ago, technology enabled widespread availability of oil paints in tubes, freeing the impressionist to create a new genre of art. Fifty years ago, technology enabled the widespread availability of electronic musical instruments, freeing rock stars to create new genre of music. Twenty years ago, technology enabled the widespread availability of microprocessors and network communications, freeing our whole society to increase productivity and awareness through the Internet. More recently, technology enables the widespread availability of circuit boards, RF transceivers, and small scale manufacturing platforms such as 3D printing. What will the visionaries do with these new resources? More specifically, what will you do with them? How are you going to improve your life? More importantly, what contributions are you going to make to improve everyone’s life? Are you interested in becoming a Maker, but you just don’t know where to start? Well, step one is kind of obvious — Google it! Try “How to become a maker”, and you’ll find several great online articles to get you started. Another great reference is SparkFun Electronics (sparkfun.com). SparkFun provides all the raw materials for Maker projects, and its website provides several pre-designed projects and tutorials to help newbies get off the ground. Finally, get involved in the local hackerspace. You already know about the theclubhou.se. Go check them out. Shout Out — We would like to give a big shout out to Exponent Design Works, LLC. This Augusta-based creative technology company won the initial ideation stage of the Department of Energy’s (DOE) Apps for Vehicles Challenge. The smartphone application they presented, Fuel Economy Coach, teaches drivers good habits that will improve their vehicle fuel economy — saving the users money and decreasing the negative impact on the environment through reduced emissions. As one of only eight national finalists, Exponent Design Works was awarded a $2,000 cash prize along with access to industry experts to help further the development of the app. The design team is working feverishly on the next phase of competition to deliver a prototype app by March 15. Good luck! Until next time, I’m off the grid @gregory_a_baker. GREGORY A. BAKER, PH.D, is vice president and chief rocket scientist for CMA, which provides information technology services to CSRA businesses and nonprofits.

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I SURRENDER!

By Joe DiPietro / Edited by Will Shortz 95 “Welcome Back, Kotter” guy 97 La ___ Tar Pits 98 Treasures 101 Made one 102 Tough situation 103 Company making arrangements, for short 105 PBS has a big one 107 When repeated, eager 108 Staffs 109 Winged 110 “I’m ___ you!” 111 Big name in ’60s peace activism 112 Back down 115 Back down 118 Sheen, in Sheffield 119 Advent 120 Like some oil refineries 121 Clearly marks 122 Mark, e.g. 123 Boxer nicknamed “Hands of Stone”

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Lost, as a tail ___ strip Rounds begin on the first one Berry of “Perfect Stranger” Ages Apologues Yahoo Yahoo! had one in 1996: Abbr. Kind of rat Inside look? Dish out Actress Berger Model material, often Pressure group? Play a flute Lay to rest Postseason football game played in Mobile, Ala. 68 World 69 Extreme aversion 70 Author Canetti 71 Silver’s is 107.87: Abbr. 73 Garnish, possibly Down 74 Keep at awhile 1 Try to shoot 75 Got ___ on (nailed) 2 Lays to rest 76 Candy since 1927 3 Slick ones? 78 Healthy 4 Go wrong 81 Where you gotta go? 5 Four-time baseball All-Star Jose 82 Take a card 6 Itch scratcher’s utterance 84 Actor Silver 7 “Is Your Mama a ___?” (children’s 85 Frivolous types book) 89 Demonstrates 8 Capable of seeing in the dark 91 Be rewarded for good service 9 Certain grilling 92 Quai d’Orsay setting 10 One to one, for example 93 Coarse 11 It’s left on a keyboard 96 Entrances 12 Loudly lament 99 Procrastinator’s response 13 Dos but not don’ts 100 Welcome through the door 14 Mars candy 102 Ballet dancer’s support 15 Good name, informally 104 A disk can be slipped in one 16 Miss ___ 106 Was a little too fond 17 Common abbr. after a comma 108 Paul Bunyan, e.g. 19 Cut off 109 Do with a pick, maybe 20 What’s the big idea? 112 French key 23 Circus support 113 Crackpot 28 Vertical stabilizer 114 N.C.A.A.’s Gamecocks 32 “The Hostage” playwright, 1958 115 Not keep up 33 Blooming tree 116 Prince of Broadway 34 Publishes 117 Native of Australia 35 Slightest complaint

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PREVIOUSPUZZLEANSWERS

Across 1 Drummer’s accompanier 6 Best-selling author who served as a nurse in the Civil War 12 Made up 18 Hardens 20 Fever cause 21 Most bass 22 Back down 24 Back down 25 Sinuous swimmer 26 Grub 27 Card game declaration 28 Show off one’s “guns” 29 Some seen in mirrors? 30 Foul mood 31 Floor vote 32 Leaning 33 Humdinger 36 Bakers’ measures: Abbr. 38 Mrs. Miniver’s husband in “Mrs. Miniver” 40 Scope 42 Sprinkler conduit 43 Back down 46 Run out 48 Quarters used in Greenland 50 Kegler’s org. 51 Honeyed drink 53 Back down 54 Detour signalers 56 The left, informally 58 Parts of galaxies 60 Siberian city 61 Jacket decoration 64 Handles receptions, say 65 Back down 68 Gather in bundles 72 Joint committee? 73 [How dare you?!] 77 Talks without sincerity 79 Envelope abbr. 80 Like some firs 82 Back down 83 Variety 86 Pascal’s law 87 Ball partner 88 Downgrade, perhaps 90 Back down 94 Father of Phobos

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I G B A R A L S A L A K A C T M K O A O H C R O W B A L I E E N T H G H E L , L O N E G O D C A K E Z F R E R O M O R A A B F O R I T A R J E

T E A E R L R E E N D H A A B I F R A B S P A O S T H L I N G A H E T S

O M A N I S

G A S O I L E T C H O A U N N T / E E R R F M I E L A M

C S I : P E N E U D F L A R M T A U L E S E S T S E C A L A R H U N D E L R A F D U L A Z E R N I X O A S T S R E A K E F I B I R E L S K E

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OUR COOKIE CUTTER STAYS IN THE BACK OF THE DRAWER Elliott Sons Funeral Homes ELLIOTTFUNERALHOME.COM

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ERICJOHNSON

Travel Logic

Groups tout power of tourism to local economy

While everyone was considering the great new uses for the new convention center at the annual State of Tourism luncheon, the Augusta Sports Council’s Brinsley Thigpen was thinking sports. “The Augusta Sports Council wants to fill this room with athletes,” she said. While that might not be the conventional way to think about the new convention space, which enjoyed its ribbon cutting just hours after the luncheon, it’s tough to argue with the numbers. After all, 38,000 square feet of exhibit space is perfect for traveling volleyball tournaments, taekwondo tournaments and cheerleading events — all part of those unheralded sporting events the city has supported even before the opening of the TEE Center. She nodded at the boxing ring set up as part of the neighboring Business Expo. “This could be a premier national championship boxing venue,” she said. Augusta Convention and Visitors Bureau President and CEO Barry White was thinking outside the typical convention box as well, talking about community uses like church services, weddings and family reunions. “The possibilities of this space are really limited only by your imagination,” he said.

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As the two primary city offices for tourism, the CVB and the Sports Council teamed up for the tourism luncheon for the first time. Both spoke of the importance of tourism to the city. “Travel and tourism are powerful economic generators for Augusta, and we’ve made great strides,” White said. “We’ve got great momentum right now.” His evidence came from yearly data. In 2012, the city enjoyed over 5,000 overnight guests each day, representing an increase of four percent in total hotel revenue for the year. Additionally, the airport had a record breaking 2012. According to White, these numbers weren’t just one time occurrences. “In the past six years, revenue from hotels never declined year over year, and in that same period, total hotel revenue increased 36 percent,” he said. The airport’s increase in passengers over the last six years: 102 percent. “Even in a good economy, those numbers would be impressive, but to do it during the challenging times of the past six years is really quite incredible,” White said. White also said that over the next couple of years, the U.S. Travel Association is estimating a steady growth in visitor and travel spending, with leisure traveling actually outpacing business travel. “I think we’ll see similar trends in Augusta, but I think we may see a more rapid growth,” he said. “With projects like

Pant Vogtle, the NSA facility and other industries, business travel in Augusta is sure to increase.” Augusta Sports Council’s supported events in 2012 resulted in nearly $23 million in direct visitor spending. The ESi Ironman 70.3, for example, brought in $4.05 million in direct visitor spending “Augusta hosts the most prestigious golf tournament in the world and it’s our responsibility to show all event owners that the specific sport can have the most prestigious event in the world in our city,” said Thigpen. “We know we have the hotel capacity and we have some wonderful venues and amazing restaurants.” One of the ways she said helps leverage event owners is the fact that the organization exists and the community supports it. “We must increase awareness of the Augusta Sports Council’s reputation for excellence throughout the region,” she said. “If event owners know that Augusta has a sports council that can serve as a local organizing committee for the event, they are more apt to come to Augusta.” She also said the city benefits greatly from the smaller events that don’t always make the headlines. “There are very few limitations on the number of participants or the types of competitions that Augusta can host,” she said. “Just because an event is smaller does not mean that it is not a high quality. All competitions help promote sports tourism.”

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Coming Soon to Evans!

Early 2013

Our Interest is in You! 4349 Washington Road Across from Mellow Mushroom in front of Kroger www.firstbankofga.com

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ERICJOHNSON

Commission Censure

Ethics violations result in three censures and grandstanding

Grady Smith

In a highly charged commission meeting that lasted well into the night, commissioners decided to censure three of their own for violating the city’s ethics code by engaging in work for the city while serving as on the commission. After considerable deliberation revolving around the scope of their authority and the way they were going to handle the situation, Commissioners Wayne Guilfoyle, Joe Jackson and Grady Smith were each given a chance to speak to the commission, and each apologized for the breach of ethics before listening to their fellow commissioners discuss their fate. Guilfoyle, who owns a flooring company, agreed not

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to do work for the city and also voluntarily agreed to Commissioner Alvin Mason’s additional request that he refrain from doing business with the city for two years after leaving the commission. Jackson, a locksmith, also said he regretted doing work for the city, though he made it clear he did not regret helping the Sheriff’s Office. He, too, voluntarily agreed not to do work for the city for two years after stepping down, with the caveat that he would continue helping the Sheriff’s Office for free. Smith’s situation, however, wasn’t as clear cut. The fact that his company, Smith Brothers Mechanical, was in the middle of an ongoing contract made such absolute remedies difficult. It was further complicated by the fact that it was his request for general counsel Andrew MacKenzie to draft

an ordinance allowing commissioners and employees to engage in certain work relationships with the county that brought the situation to the public eye in the first place. If he didn’t think what he was doing was wrong, the suspicion goes, why did he attempt to change the rules? In the end, Commissioner Marion Williams, who had earlier been the most vocal in his criticism of their actions, several times expressing his frustration with MacKenzie and then with fellow commissioners for not taking the offenses seriously, voted to censure Smith in the same way as they had the others, saying that they had no authority to do anything more. Though it seemed to be clear that commissioners had done all that they were authorized to do — the question was between a censure and a reprimand — it was unclear whether any further criminal actions could be taken. What was also clear was the fact that a new commission is never out of the shadow of old commissions. Several references to previous actions by previous commissions bubbled to the surface, and although they threatened to sidetrack the deliberations, they never quite managed to derail them. Smith in particular seemed unwilling to yield to criticism. Though he did admit that he made a mistake, he continued to bring up the fact that he didn’t know his Fort Gordon job was considered working for the city. How these internal disagreements will impact the ability of the commission to function in the future is unclear. Though debate mostly stayed clear of personal attacks, Mason, Williams and Lockett made it clear that they were unhappy to find commissioners facing such fundamental violations. If you didn’t know going into being a commissioner that working for the city was a violation, Mason claimed, the training they received as commissioners should have made it abundantly clear. The meeting, which ended well after 7:30 p.m., was otherwise mostly uneventful, though several looming issues remain unanswered, including the revelation at last week’s committee meetings that the city has entered into contracts without going through the procurement process.

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Empty Bowl 2013, a fundraiser for the Golden Harvest Food Bank, is Sunday, March 10, from 11 a.m.-3:30 p.m. at the Augusta Jewish Community Center. The event includes an all you can eat soupkitchen buffet, take-home ceramic bowls created by area students, the CSRA’s largest silent auction and more. Advanced tickets: $15, adults; $5, children 2-10. At the door: $20, adults; $7.50, children 2-10. Visit emptybowlcsra.org.

ENTERTAIN

Arts

Pottery Trunk Show features the pottery of Martha Buck from Appling, 1-4 p.m., Sunday, March 10, at the Morris Museum of Art. Call 706-828-3867 or visit themorris.org.

Exhibitions

Young Masters, works by CSRA high school students, will be on display at the Morris Museum through Sunday, March 10. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. “Restoration,” an exhibit of work by GRU adjunct instructor Mahera Khaleque, will be on display at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art, through May 17. Members, free; non-members, $5. Call 706-722-5495 or visit ghia.org. “Alterations: Fashioning a Black Identity” exhibit will be presented by Nancy Wellington Bookhart at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History through April 30. Email cbetts@lucycraftlaneymuseum.com, call 706-7243576 or visit lucycraftlaneymuseum.com.

The Harlem Quartet will perform at the Jabez S. Hardin Performing Arts Center, 7:30 p.m., Saturday, March 9, as part of Augusta Symphony Orchestra’s Columbia County Music Series. Call 706-868-3349 or visit soaugusta.org.

Zumba with Sohailla is held every Saturday from 10-11 a.m. at the Ballroom Dance Center in Evans. Call 706-421-6168 or visit zumbawithsohailla.blogspot.com.

The Augusta Opera will perform a selection of American classics as part of the Music at the Morris series, 2 p.m., Sunday, March 10. Free. Call 706828-3867 or visit themorris.org.

Christian Singles Dance, a smoke-, alcohol- and drug-free event for those ages 40 and over, is each Saturday night at the Ballroom Dance Center in Evans. Dance lessons start at 7 p.m., and the dance begins at 8 p.m. No partners needed. Members $8, guests $10. Call 706-854-8888 or visit christiandances.org.

Keith Shafer will perform the 30th annual Rose Sunday Concert on the organ at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, 4 p.m., Sunday, March 10. The free concert will be followed by a reception in Tyler Hall. Email kshafer@ saintpauls.org or call 706-724-2485. The Dove Brothers Quartet and Band will play at Bethesda Baptist Church between Grovetown and Harlem, 7 p.m., Thursday, March 14. Free. Nursery provided. Call 706-556-6818. Pianist Susan Zhang will perform on the Hamburg Steinway at Reid Memorial Presbyterian Church, 7 p.m., Thursday, March 14. Email rcook@ reidchurch.org or call 706-733-2275.

34th Annual Agnes Markwalter Youth Art Competition and Exhibition will be held at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art through March 28. Call 706722-5495 or visit ghia.org.

Literary

Millie Gosch art exhibit opening reception at Sacred Heart Cultural Center 5-7 p.m., Thursday, March 7. Runs through April 30. Call 706-826-4700 or visit sacredheartaugusta.org.

Poetry Workshop with Lucinda Clark will be held at the Headquarters Library, 10 a.m.-1:30 p.m., Saturday, March 9. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

“Aiken Horse Through the Lens,” an exhibit of equestrian artwork, will be held at the Aiken Center for the Arts through March 15. Call 803-6419094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org.

Sandhills Writers Series will be held at the GRUA Jaguar Student Activities Center Coffee House, throughout the day on Tuesday, March 12. Call 706729-2417 or visit sandhills.aug.edu.

“Romantic Spirits” exhibit, featuring paintings of the South from the Johnson collection, will be on display through May 26. Call 706-828-3825, email lauren.land@themorris.org or visit themorris.org.

Poetry Matters is accepting entries through March 23 for their annual poetry contest. Cash prizes will be given out. Categories are middle and high school, adults, and seniors. Visit poetrymatterscelebration.com.

Music

Dance

“Classical Mystery Tour: A Tribute to The Beatles” will be presented by Augusta Symphony as part of their University Health Care System Pops! At the Bell, 7:30 p.m., Thursday, March 7. Call 706-826-4705 or visit augustaentertainmentcomplex.com. Drum 4 Your Life classes are being held at the Odell Weeks Center in Aiken. Next session is noon, Saturday, March 9. Registration required. Call 803-642-7630. 16 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Open Mic Poetry Night will be held at MAD Studios, 7 p.m., Thursday, March 7. $5. Visit madstudiosaugusta.com.

Belly Dance Class is held every Tuesday at 6 p.m. at Euchee Creek Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. Belly Dancing Classes are held Tuesdays at 6 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org. Augusta International Folk Dance Club meets Tuesday nights from 7:309:30 p.m. at the Augusta Ballet Studio on 2941 Walton Way. No partners needed. First visit free. Call 706-399-2477.

Saturday Night Dance with live music is each Saturday night at the Fraternal Order of the Eagles Post 1197 from 8:30 p.m.-12:30 a.m. $5. Call 706-495-3219.

Theater

“Legally Blonde: The Musical” will be performed by The Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre, Thursday, March 7 and 14 (the rest of the performances are sold out), with dinner beginning at 7 p.m. at the show beginning at 8 p.m. $30-$45. Reservations required. Call 706-791-4389 or visit fortgordon. com/live_theatre.php. “No Shells,” a story in which eight friends discover what they really think of each other when a neighbor’s dog does the unthinkable, will be performed at The Imperial Theatre, 5 p.m., Sunday, March 10. $27.50-$40. Call 706722-8341 or visit imperialtheatre.com. Auditions for “The Fox on the Fairway” will be held by Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre for their May production, Tuesday and Wednesday, March 11-12, at 7 p.m. Email steven.r.walpert.naf@mail.mil or visit fortgordon.com/ live_theatre.php. “Broadway’s Next Hit Musical” will be performed at the URS Center for the Performing Arts in Aiken, 8 p.m., Thursday and Friday, March 14-15. General $40; students $20. Call 803-648-1438 or visit apagonline.org. “The Story of Noah and His Great Big Gopher Boat” original musical production will be presented by the Enopion Theatre Company at the Kroc Center from March 14-22. General admission $16; seniors, children and groups of 10 or more $11. Call 706-771-7777 or visit enopion.com.

Flix

“Woodrow Wilson: A Passionate Man” will be shown at the Morris Museum at noon, Friday, March 8. Call 706-828-3867 or visit themorris.org. “Ai Weiwei” (R) will be shown in University Hall, 7 p.m., Monday, March 11 as part of the GRUA Spring Film Series. General admission $3; students, 07MARCH2013

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faculty and staff free with a JagCard. Call 706-729-2416. “Free China: The Courage to Believe,” an independent film by Michael Perlman, will be shown at the Morris Museum of art as part of the Southern Circuit regional tour of indie filmmakers, 6 p.m., Tuesday, March 12. Free. Afterward, there will be a question and answer session with the filmmaker. Call 706-724-7501 or 706-828-3867, or visit themorris.org.

Special Events

First Thursday at Midtown Market, featuring shopping, snacks, drinks, sales and more, takes place 5-8 p.m., March 7 at the shops on Kings Way. Call 706-922-5000. Museum trip payment deadline is March 8 to take the Lucy Craft Laney annual trip to Atlanta, Saturday, March 16. $75. Call 706-724-3576 or visit lucycraftlaneymuseum.com. Spring/Summer Consignment Sale, featuring children’s and maternity clothes, toys, equipment, books and more, is Friday, March 8, from 9 a.m.-7 p.m. and Saturday, March 9, from 8 a.m.-2 p.m. at Trinity on the Hill United Methodist Church. Call 706-738-8822 or visit trinityonthehill.net. 2013 North Augusta Springfest kicks off Friday, March 8, from 6-8 p.m. at the North Augusta Arts and Heritage Center with an art reception and awards ceremony. The Camellia Show is Saturday, March 9, from 1-5 p.m. at the North Augusta Municipal Center and includes a free floral waxing class at 1 p.m. Free and open to the public. Springfest will continue the following two weekends with more events. Visit naartscouncil.org. Symphony of Kitchens Tour, a fundraiser for Symphony Orchestra Augusta presented by the Augusta Symphony Guild, begins, Friday, March 8, at 7 p.m. with the Toast to the Tour Party at Southern Lighting Gallery. $50. The tour of seven homes takes place 10 a.m.-4 p.m., Saturday, March 9. $25. Raffle tickets for prizes are $10 each or three for $25. Call 706-8264705 or visit soaugusta.org.

A Taste of Something Wild, wild game and tasting soiree, will take place at the Julian Smith BBQ pit, 5-8 p.m., Saturday, March 9. $40 advance; $45 at the door. Benefits Augusta Alzheimer’s Association and Augusta Warrior Project. Call 706-294-2374.

Health

Roast on the River takes place at The River Place in North Augusta, 6 p.m., Saturday, March 9. Individuals, $35; couples, $50; members discount, $10. Call 706-826-8991 or visit savannahriverkeeper.org.

Center for Women Tour will be given at Doctors Hospital, 7-8 p.m., Thursday, March 7. Designed for both partners to get acquainted with the hospital and have any labor and delivery questions answered. Registration required. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

Shamrocks for Soldiers, a black-tie gala benefiting the Augusta Warrior Project, is Saturday, March 9, from 7-11 p.m. at Sacred Heart Cultural Center that includes drinks, dinner, dessert, live music and casino games. $70 per person; couples, $135; military, $65. Visit shamrocksforsoldiers.com. Empty Bowl 2013, a fundraiser for the Golden Harvest Food Bank, is Sunday, March 10, from 11 a.m.-3:30 p.m. at the Augusta Jewish Community Center. The event includes an all you can eat soup-kitchen buffet, take-home ceramic bowls created by area students, the CSRA’s largest silent auction and more. Advanced tickets: $15, adults; $5, children 2-10. At the door: $20, adults; $7.50, children 2-10. Visit emptybowlcsra.org. Career Day will be held at the Headquarters Library, Tuesday, March 12. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Purses for a Purpose, a handbag auction presented by the Friends of the Jessye Norman School of the Arts, is Thursday, March 14, at 7 p.m. at the Richmond on Greene. $50. Call 706-771-9988 or visit jessyenormanschool.org. Irish culture presentation will be given by Dennis Harkins at the Aiken Library, 7-8 p.m., Thursday, March 14. Call 803-642-7575 or visit abbe-lib.org.

The 2013 Juilliard in Aiken Festival is March 9-March 15, with performances going on throughout the area on those days. For more information and to purchase tickets, visit juilliardinaiken.com.

Evans Towne Farmers Market will be held on the grounds of the Columbia County Public Library each Thursday through June from 4:30-7 p.m. beginning Thursday, March 7. All meats, eggs, dairy and produce will be from local and sustainable farms. There will also be cooking demos and education, local artisans with handcrafted goods, live music, local food vendors and weekly events. Visit evanstownefarmersmarket.com.

Living History Guided Re-Enactment Tours of Cedar Grove Cemetery, led by members of Paine College’s History Club, are Saturday, March 9, with tours beginning at 11 a.m., noon and 1 p.m. Free. Call 706-821-8371 or visit paine.edu.

Pet adoptions are held by CSRA Happy Tails Rescue at the Mullins Crossing Petco in Evans from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. each Sunday and from 1-4 p.m. each Saturday and Sunday at the Tractor Supply Company. Visit csrahappytails.com.

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Babies, Bumps and Bruises will be held at Doctors Hospital, 7-9 p.m., Thursday, March 7. Class will teach safety and first aid, including infant CPR. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

Weekend Childbirth Education class will be held at University Hospital Education Center, 6:30-9:30 p.m., Friday, March 8 and 9 a.m.-5:30 p.m., Saturday, March 9. Free. Registration required. Call 706-774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org. Lamaze Childbirth Classes are available at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. Next session is Saturday, March 9, from 8:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m. Call 706-4817727 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Short and Sweet childbirth class will be held in two sessions over the weekend of March 9-10 at Doctors Hospital: Saturday, 9 a.m.-4:30 p.m. and Sunday, 1-5 p.m. Registration required. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Childbirth Tour will take place at Georgia Regents Medical Center, 10:3011:30 a.m., Saturday, March 9 and 7:30-8:30 p.m., Tuesday, March 12. Call 706-721-9351 or visit gru.edu/classes. Breast Self-Exam Class will be held at the University Breast Health Center at 4 p.m., Monday, March 11. Free. Reservations required. Call 706-7744141 or visit universityhealth.org. Breastfeeding class will be held at the Georgia Regents Medical Center, 7-9 p.m., Tuesday, March 12. Free. Registration required. Call 706-721-9351 or visit gru.edu/classes. Spine Education class, for those who have had or will have surgery, will be held at Doctors Hospital, 3:30 p.m., Tuesday, March 12. Call 706-6514343 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Total Joint Replacement educational talk will be held at Doctors Hospital, 1:303:30 p.m., Tuesday, March 12. Call 706-651-4343 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

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Childbirth Tour will be held at the GRU Medical Center, Tuesday, March 12, from 7:30-8:30 p.m. Call 706-7219351 or visit gru.edu. Childbirth Education 101 will be held at Trinity Hospital Tuesday, March 12, from 6-8:30 p.m. Call 706-4817727 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Child Safety Seat Inspections will be offered by appointment Wednesday, March 13, at the Columbia County Sheriffâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Office Substation. Call 706-541-3970 or visit gru.edu/safekids.

Joint Efforts, presented by Trinity Hospital of Augusta, meets from 11-11:45 a.m. every Thursday at Augusta Bone and Joint, and features a free seminar about knee and hip pain, treatments, medication, food and exercise. Call 706-481-7604 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Childbirth Education Class will meet at the Georgia Regents Medical Center, 6:30 p.m., Wednesday, March 13. Free. Registration required. Call 706-721-9351 or visit gru.edu/classes.

Adapted Evaluation, a 30-minute initial and annual evaluation including medical history and water assessment, is offered at the Wilson Family Y. $25. Call 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org.

Infant CPR Training will be held at the Georgia Regents Medical Center, 6:30-8 p.m., Wednesday, March 13. Registration required. Does not provide certification. Call 706-721-9351 or visit gru.edu/classes.

Adapted Special Populations classes offered at the Wilson Family Y. Members $11; non-members $22. Call 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org.

Car Seat Safety Class will be offered at the Safe Kids Office 5:45-8 p.m., Thursday, March 14. Registration required. $10. Call 706-721-7606 or visit gru.edu.org. Bariatric Seminar will be held at Doctors Hospital for anyone looking for options for medical weight loss. Takes place 6-7 p.m., Thursday, March 14. Free. Registration required. Call 706-651-4343 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Baby 101 will be held at Doctors Hospital, 7-9:30 p.m., Thursday, March 14 to share information about infant development and baby care skills. Registration required. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Center Tour at University Hospital will be held 7-9:30 p.m., Thursday, March 14. Free. Registration required. Call 706-774-2825. Adult Boot Camp high intensity exercise class will be held at the Wilson Family Y through April 19. Class meets Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 5 a.m. and 6:15 p.m. Members $35 per session; non-members $65 per session. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. Child Safety Seat Inspections offered by appointment at the Safe Kids office (call 706-721-7606), Martinez/ Columbia Fire Rescue Engine Co. 3 (call 706-8607763) and Columbia County Sheriffâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Substation in Evans (call 706-541-3970). Visit gru.edu. Car Seat Classes are offered by appointment only at the Safe Kids Office in Augusta and at the Martinez Columbia Fire Rescue Headquarters. $10. Call 706721-7606 or visit gru.edu. Yoga I offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken 8:45-9:45 a.m., Tuesdays and Thursdays; Yoga II is offered 8:459:45 a.m., Fridays; Evening Yoga is offered 5:30-6:30 p.m., Mondays and Wednesdays. $41 for 10 tickets. Call 803-642-7631. Tai Chi for Boomers is held at 6 p.m. every Tuesday and Thursday. Call 706-394-0590, email sbeasley@ augustameditation.com or visit augustameditation. com/taichi.html. Stress Management Classes are held at the University Hospital Heart & Vascular Institute at 8:15 a.m., 9:15 a.m. and 1:45 p.m. each Wednesday. Call 706-7743278 or visit universityhealth.org. Multiple Sclerosis and Parkinsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Disease Aquatics Class meets every Monday and Friday at noon at the Wilson Family Y. Members, free; non-members, $5. Pre-registration required. Call 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org. Heart Attack and Stroke Prevention Orientation is held every Tuesday at 2 p.m. at University Hospitalâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Heart & Vascular Institute (Classroom 3). Free. Call 706-7745548 or visit universityhealth.org. 18 METROSPIRITAUGUSTAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Cardiopulmonary Rehabilitation program covers topics such as coronary artery disease, heart attack and CHF at the University Hospital Heart and Vascular Institute. Program is held each Wednesday at 8:15 and 9:15 a.m., and 1:45 p.m. Call 706-774-3278 or visit universityhealth.org.

Adapted Wii Special Populations available by appointment at the Wilson Family Y, and feature individual half-hour classes for physically and developmentally challenged individuals of all ages. Members, $10; non-members, $20. Call 706-922-9662 or visit thefamilyy.org.

Support

Alzheimerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Support Group will meet at the Kroc Center 10 a.m., Thursday, March 7. Will also meet Tuesday, March 12 the following times and locations: 6:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center, 7 p.m. in the Alheimerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Association Chapter Building in Augusta and at the Louis Memorial United Methodist Church. Call 706-731-9060 or visit trinityofaugusta.com, or universityhealth.org. Amputee Support Group meets at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital, noon-1 p.m., Thursday, March 7. Amputee clinic held from 1-2 p.m., immediately after the support group meeting. For info call 706-823-8504. Cribs for Kids will be held at the Georgia Health Sciences Building, 5:45-8 p.m., Thursday, March 7. Instructors will teach caregivers how to provide a safe sleep environment and what to watch out for. Those who demonstrate financial need will receive a Pack-n-Play, fitted sheet, sleep sac and a pacifier. Preregistration required. $10 per child. Call 706-7217606 or visit gru.edu/safekids. Weight Loss Support Group, for anyone suffering ailments due to obesity, will meet in the Sister Mary Louise Conference Room at Trinity Hospital, 7 p.m., Thursday, March 7. Call 706-481-7298 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. ALS Support Group will meet 11 a.m.-2 p.m., Friday, March 8 at the Georgia Regents Medical Office Building. Lunch provided. Reservations required. Visit gru.edu/classes or call 706-721-2681. The Chatterbox Club, a laryngectomy support group for individuals and families, will meet in the Sister Mary Louise Conference Room at Trinity Hospital 3 p.m., Sunday, March 10. Call 706-481-7359 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Look Good...Feel Better teaches female cancer patients beauty techniques to help deal with the physical side effects of therapy. Will be held at the American Cancer Society office 5-7 p.m., Monday, March 11. Free. Registration required. Call 706-731-9900 or visit universityhealth.org. Pink Magnolias breast cancer support group meets 6:30 p.m. on second Mondays at the University Hospital Breast Health Center in Professional Center 2, Suite 205 6:30 p.m., Monday, March 11. For info call 706-774-4141 or visit universityhealth.org. Menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Breast Cancer Support Group, for the husbands and significant others of breast cancer patients, meets at the University Hospital Breast Health Center, 7 p.m., Monday, March 11. Call 706-774-4141 or visit universityhealth.org. 07MARCH2013

Fun with a Heart

Second Annual ETCP Spring Fest serves up fun with an eye to the future Metro Spirit’s Second Annual ETCP Spring Fest will kick off at noon on Saturday, March 9, and this year promises to be bigger in every way but the beer line. For those who remember last year’s incredibly long lines, that’s a good thing. “This year, we learned from our mistakes,” says Joe White, Metro Spirit owner and the force behind Spring Fest. “We weren’t expecting many people for the

inaugural event — maybe 500 to 1,000 — and when it came to the beer line, we failed miserably.” Surpassing everyone’s expectations, nearly 4,500 people ended up attending last year’s free festival — the first ever for the new Evans Towne Center Park — and though White expects far more festivalgoers the second time around, he promises the new, streamlined layout will prevent them from being overwhelmed in the beer tent “It’ll be like you’re at a normal bar,” he says. “You’ll enter, get your beer and as you exit, you’ll pay for your

beer in cash.” While it might be designed like a normal bar, normal bars don’t usually have the selection of craft beers that you’ll see at the ETCP Spring Fest. Mike Marty, craft beer manager for AB Beverage, says he’s bringing a total of 16, and while the list won’t be finalized until Friday due to the nature of craft beer distribution, he says he’s expecting people to enjoy this year’s offerings, particularly those from Monday Night Brewing and Red Hare Brewing, two Georgia-based craft brewers that are quickly making names for themselves.

Fun with a Heart

Monday Night Brewing had a high profile at last year’s Arts in the Heart, while Spring Fest will be Marty’s first event featuring Red Hare. Lazy Magnolia, a regional brewer out of Mississippi, will also be there with their flagship beer, Southern Pecan, as well as their high gravity IPA, Timber Beast Rye. Among others, Marty also expects to have beers from New Belgium, Magic Hat, Shock Top and, hopefully, Chicago-based Goose Island, which recently went national. While traditional domestics continue to dominate the overall market, Marty says beer drinkers remain curious when it comes to craft beer. “The craft beer segment of the industry has consistently grown by double digits, year to year,” he says. “And those projections are continuing.” When White came up with the idea for the ETCP Spring Fest last year, he wanted to keep it simple, not because that made it easier, but because he felt it made things more enjoyable. “What I envisioned was a craft beer festival with vendors and a little bit of live music,” he says. “My concept has always been to give people a place to gather and let them enjoy themselves. You don’t need all the other stuff — give people an empty field, throw some food and beer there, some music, and let them commiserate with one another.” White is committed to that vision, so while it’s certainly a family-friendly event, don’t expect lots of distractions for the kids. “We don’t have inflatables,” he says. “We don’t have goats or chickens or little horses, and that is by design, because that takes what should be a fun time for families and complicates it. All of a sudden, Mom or

Dad or both are standing in line with their kid waiting for their kid to be able to get into an inflatable and jump around for five minutes.” That doesn’t mean families can’t have fun, however. He recalls seeing lots of families at last year’s event simply sitting together on the grass in the park, listening to music and enjoying each other’s company. Music has always played an important part in the Spring Fest concept, and this year there will be music throughout the day, starting with Tara Scheyer at noon, followed immediately by Ray Fulcher, Smoke and Mirrors, the Derelict String Band, Sibling String, the Henerys and the Robbie Ducey Band headlining at 5 p.m. Ducey has been playing in Augusta since the early 1970s, but a lot of the people at last year’s event were introduced to him for the first time, which is part of White’s goal. He sees the festival as bringing Augustastyle entertainment options to Columbia County. “Richmond County has done such a great job with Arts in the Heart and all the different things they’ve done,” he says. “I’m trying to create the same events in Evans and Martinez and Columbia County. It’s like a blank canvas out there as far as annual cool things to do and hopefully one day everyone will know that the ETCP Spring Fest is always the Saturday before St. Patrick’s Day.” According to Columbia County Events Manager Stacie Adkins, the beer line isn’t the only thing that’s been tweaked. It seems the county has learned a lot since that first event last year, too. “I think it’s more organized now,” she says of park events in general. “We have procedures in place, we have contracts in place and we have fees in place. From a management standpoint, that definitely helps.”

Coming Soon to Evans!

Early 2013

Our Interest is in You! 4349 Washington Road Across from Mellow Mushroom in front of Kroger www.firstbankofga.com

She says March is already filling up with park events and April has something going on every weekend. And while much has been made in recent weeks about the number of so-called Richmond County that are moving to Columbia County — including this year’s Rock Fore! Dough — Adkins insists she’s not trying to drive a wedge between the two counties. “I think sometimes when there’s something new, people want to try it,” she says. “I think that’s just human nature, and Evans Towne Center Park is a unique venue. There’s not one of that size anywhere else around here.” Among food vendors this year will be Greig McCully, who will be supplying barbeque he made in a Big Green Egg. Though he’ll make the barbeque off premises, McCully, who owns Fireside Outdoor Kitchens and Grills on Broad Street, says he’ll be bringing an extra large Big Green Egg to use as a warming box. “We sell everything,” he says. “But we find that the Green Eggs and the other ceramic grills do such a good job, it’s much easier for us to do quantity on those than on something in some cases much larger. Besides selling grills, McCully sponsors three local competitive cooking teams, so he knows what he’s talking about. He won’t be the only food vender, however. Bird Dog Grille, Fats Café and the Crums on Central food truck will be among other food vendors on site to take care of those festivalgoers who work up an appetite. And though there will be all sorts of exciting things to see and do, one of the more unusual comes courtesy of Greubel’s Mixed Martial Arts, which will bring a fullsized boxing ring to the park. “Basically, we’re going to be displaying some of our

young talent, including a couple of junior fighters that are really young,” says Mark Greubel. “One is nine and the other just turned 12 and I’m excited to watch these guys fight.” The fights are going to be live sparring with full protection, though Greubel says that the size of the crowd will give the fighters all the pressures that you associate with competition. “It’s cool to see it on TV, but when you see it in person, it’s just better,” Greubel says. Fighters from all disciplines will be showcased, from Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and boxing to kickboxing and MMA, and though Greubel understands that some people shy away from MMA, he says the fights will remain family friendly. “Even though we’re an MMA school, we still carry a lot of the same traditional values that traditional martial arts bring to the table, he says. Following the ETCP Spring Fest will be the Chicken and Beer at Savannah Rapids Pavilion at the end of April, another continuing Metro Spirit outdoor event. “We’re just going to continue to try to build events that are our own, that are Metro Spirit events that bring quality of life to the people who live here,” White says. The heart and soul of this event, however, is the money and exposure raised to support Jordan’s House, the nonprofit White is establishing in honor of his daughter, Jordan, who was killed by a drunk driver last September. The idea behind Jordan’s House is to somewhat replicate what the Art Factory used to do by bringing art teachers into some of the more economically challenged schools in Richmond County. Over the course of the next few months, a board of directors will be assembled that will manage the fund and establish a

framework for the organization. “We have spoken with several of the principals in Richmond County,” says Pat Williams, pastor of missions and care at Wesley United Methodist Church. “Art funding has been eliminated, and it takes money to have that exposure for the children. Therefore, Jordan’s House is going to set up its own 501c3 nonprofit status and identify the children and see what we can do to get art teachers back in the schools.” “We’re doing things methodically because this is not something I want to establish haphazardly and then a few years down the road it’s a distant memory,” White says. “This is something I want to be going in perpetuity.” Among other fundraising events at Spring Fest, area woodworkers will be building small houses while artists will be painting Metro Spirit boxes, something White had planned for last year’s Arts in the Heart but canceled because of Jordan’s death the weekend before. White would like to have as many people building these houses as possible, so anyone who would like to participate should feel free to contact him direct at 706373-3636. In addition, Donnie Thompson, owner of Windsor Jewelers and Friedman’s Jewelers is donating a $1,000 diamond cross as part of the fundraising process. People will also have a chance to buy custom made juniper discs handmade by White. “My mother-in-law gave me a wood burner, and I was just sitting there writing Jordan’s House on the different juniper chips I’d already made when my seven-yearold son Lucas said, “Why don’t you put a bunch of numbers on the back and then people can buy the chips and at the end of the day you can draw a number and whoever has that number on their chip can win

something big?’” White says. Though there will be plenty of fundraising, White says it’s important that people don’t mistake Spring Fest for a fundraiser, “I want to be clear — Spring Fest is a for-profit enterprise, but I also want it to be clear that a large portion of the proceeds are going to go to the fund that I’m completely separate from,” White says. “I don’t want people to think that the money from every beer they buy is going to Jordan’s fund — it’s for-profit — but we’re going to raise thousands and thousands of dollars for Jordan’s House.” For the First Banjo-B-Que, Jordan was interning at Kruhu, one of the area’s leading creative agencies, and she built a Styrofoam tree, White says, remembering what an important time that was in his daughter’s development. “We’ll never replicate how Banjo-B-Que looks, but I am looking forward to building this little city,” he says. Given the fact that he’s just purchased two doors from a 1972 Volkswagen, you can imagine it’s not going to look like anything else you’ve ever seen.

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LaLeche League, a support group for mothers-to-be, and nursing moms and their babies, will meet at Trinity Hospital, 10 a.m., Tuesday, March 12. Call 706-231-0022 or 706-364-1768, or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Breast Cancer Support Group will be held at the Georgia Regents University Cancer Center, 12:30-2 p.m., Thursday, March 14. Call 706721-4109 or visit gru.edu/classes.

Aiken Cares Alzheimer’s Support Group meets 11 a.m.-noon, Tuesday, March 12 at the Cumberland Village Library. Call 803-641-5000 or visitaikenregional.com.

PFLAG of Augusta, a support group for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people, will meet at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Augusta, 7 p.m., Thursday, March 14. Visit facebook.com/PFLAGCSRA.

Diabetes Support Group meets at the O’Dell Weeks Center in Aiken, 3-4 p.m., Tuesday, March 12. Registration required. Call 803-293-0023.

AA meets every Sunday and Wednesday at 7:15 p.m. at Aiken Regional Medical Centers’ Aurora Pavilion, and includes an open discussion. Call 800-322-8322 or visit aikenregional.com.

Caregiver Support Group will meet at Doctors Hospital, 3-4 p.m., Tuesday, March 12. Designed for anyone providing care for another individual. Call 706-651-2283 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Widow and Widower Social will be held 4:30-6 p.m., Tuesday, March 12 at Trinity Hospital Community Bereavement Center. There will be BINGO. Call 706-729-6021 or 800-533-3949.

Adult Sexual Assault and Rape Support Group provides group counseling at University Hospital for those who have experienced sexual assault, incest, rape or childhood sexual abuse. Call 706-724-5200 or visit universityhealth.org. Alcoholics Anonymous is a support group for those who wish to stop drinking. Call 706-860-8331.

OB/GYN Cancer Support Group meets 7 p.m., Tuesday, March 12. Call 706-8212944 or visit universityhealth.org.

Beyond the Bars is a support group for those with incarcerated loved ones. Call 706-855-8636.

Look Good...Feel Better helps female cancer patients maintain their appearance and self-image during treatment 1:30-3:30 p.m., Wednesday, March 13 at the Georgia Regents University Cancer Center. Call 706-7210466 or visit gru.edu/classes.

Burn Support Group meets every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Doctors Hospital’s Lori Rogers Nursing Library, JMS Building. All burn survivors, and their families and friends are welcome. Call Tim Dorn at 706-6516660 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

Living Well With Diabetes adult support group will meet 5 p.m., Thursday, March 14 in the University Hospital Cafeteria. Facilitated by registered dieticians and RNs. Members learn how to eat healthy while dining out. Call 706-288-3080 or visit universityhealth.org.

Cardiac Support Group meets three times a year. Free. Pre-registration requested. Call 706-774-5864 or visit universityhealth.org.

Brain Injury Support Group will meet at NeuroRestorative Georgia, 6 p.m., Thursday, March 14. Survivors of stroke, traumatic brain injury, aneurysm and other acquired brain injuries and their families and caregivers are invited to attend. For info call 706-829-0370. Car Seat Class will be held at the Safe Kids Office, 5:45-8 p.m., Thursday, March 14. $10. Registration required. Call 706-721-7606 or visit gru.edu/safekids. Cancer Survivor Support Group will meet at Augusta Oncology Associates, 6-7 p.m., Thursday, March 14. Call 706-651-2283 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

07MARCH2013

Diabetes Youth Support Group meets quarterly. Call 706-868-3241 or visit universityhealth.org. Families Who Have Lost a Baby Support Group is offered by GRU. Call 706721-8299 or visit gru.edu. Gamblers Anonymous is a support group for those who wish to stop gambling. Call 800-313-0170. Living With Diabetes, a program designed to teach skills needed to manage diabetes, is offered at Trinity Hospital. Physician referral required. Call 706-481-7535 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Lupus Support Group meets at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706394-6484 or 706-821-2600, or visit ecgrl.org. Narcotics Anonymous meets Fridays and Sundays at 7:30 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. Visit na.org. Natural Family Planning support group meets locally. Call 706-481-7604 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Overeaters Support Group meets locally. Call 706-785-0006 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Parents of Hearing-Impaired Children meets locally. Call 706-481-7396 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Reach for Recovery is presented locally by the American Cancer Society. Call 706-731-9900 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Recovery Support Group meets 7:30 p.m. Sundays and Fridays. Call 706-855-2419.

Education

Master Naturalist Program, a 10-week adult environmental education program, will be held at Phinizy Swamp beginning Thursday, March 7, from 4-7 p.m. $260, members; $300, non-members. Pre-registration required. Visit naturalsciencesacademy.org. Operating Systems and Software Computer Class, a two-session class, is Thursdays, March 7 and 14, at 10 a.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Introduction to the Internet Class is Thursday, March 7, from 6-7:30 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-7226275 or visit ecgrl.org. Preparing Raw Food and Vegetarian Dishes will be held at the Headquarters Library, 10:30-12:30 p.m., Saturday, March 9. Call 706821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Introduction to Floral Designs will be held at the Highgrove Club House in Evans, 8-11:30 a.m., Saturday, March 9. Hosted by the Augusta Council of Garden Clubs. $20. Call 706-556-3417.

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Magnolia Civil War Cemetery Tour will be conducted by Russell Liner, Saturday, March 9. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Movie night! will be offered at the Euchee Creek Library, 5:30 p.m., Monday, March 11. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. Culinary Connections vegetarian cooking class will be offered at Countersync, 6:30-9 p.m., Monday, March 11. Call 706-831-0276. Heart Attack and Stroke Prevention Class will be held in the University Hospital Heart & Vascular Institute, 2 p.m., Tuesday, March 12. Free. Registration required. Call 706-774-5548 or visit universityhealth.org.

Talk to trainers and see the next generation of champions at work during Breakfast at the Gallops, a benefit for the Aiken Thoroughbred Racing Hall of Fame and Museum, Wednesday, March 13, from 8-10 a.m. at the Aiken Training Track. Call 803642-7631 or email halloffame@ cityofaikensc.gov.

“Got Duct Tape” will be offered at the Euchee Creek Library as part of Teen Tech Week, 4 p.m., Tuesday, March 12. Make items out of duct tape. Registration required. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. Computer Boot Camp: Part 2 will be offered at the Columbia County Library, 10 a.m.-3:30 p.m., Wednesday, March 13. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. Genealogy Club with Michele Lewis will meet at the Euchee Creek Library, 1 p.m., Thursday, March 14. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. Free Tax Help is available at the following library locations: Headquarters Branch, every Wednesday, Thursday and Friday from 9 a.m.-3:30 p.m. through April 12; Maxwell Branch, every Thursday, Friday and Saturday from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. through April 13; Columbia County, every Tuesday and Thursday from 10 a.m.-3 p.m. through April 11; Euchee Creek Branch, every Monday from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. through April 15. Visit ecgrl.org. ISports-Outdoors Basic Canoeing Techniques, a workshop for the first-time canoeist ages 8 and older, is Saturday, March 9, from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at Aiken State Park. $25. Pre-registration required. Call 803-649-2857 or visit southcarolinaparks.com. Breakfast at the Gallops, a benefit for the Aiken Thoroughbred Racing Hall of Fame and Museum, is Wednesday, March 13, from 8-10 a.m. at the Aiken Training Track. Call 803-642-7631 or email halloffame@cityofaikensc.gov. Lacrosse registration will be held at the Marshall Family Y for kids age 7-15, March 11-April 21. Members $55; non-members $75. Visit thefamilyy.org. Summer baseball registration will be held at the Family Y of Augusta South, March 11-April 21. Visit thefamilyy.org. Adult swim lessons are offered at the Family Y of Downtown Augusta for ages 13 and up. Days and times vary by branch. Members $55 per month; non-members $85 per month. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. Olympic-style Tae Kwon Do, taught by Master Michael L. Weintraub, is each Tuesday and Friday at 5:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.com.

Tuesdays and Thursdays at the Larry Bray Memorial Pitch in Augusta. Experienced players and newbies ages 18 and up are welcome. Bring a pair of cleats or cross trainers, a mouthguard, gym shorts and a T-shirt. Visit augustarugby.org or Facebook under the Augusta Rugby Club heading. Hott Shott Disc Golf is held each Wednesday at 7 p.m. at Killer B Disc Golf in downtown Augusta, and features games and prizes for all ages and skill levels. $2. Call 706-814-7514 or visit killerbdiscgolf.blogspot.com/p/hott-shott. Thursday Night Chain Reaction Ride begins at 6 p.m. each Thursday at Patriots Park in Grovetown. For intermediate to fast-paced cyclists, who average 25-32 miles. Participants should bring their own water and helmet. Call 706-855-2024 or visit chainreactionbicycles.net. Riverview Disc Golf League meets each Thursday at 6 p.m. at Riverview Park in North Augusta. Entry fee, $5; ace pool, $1. Call 803-215-8181 or visit augustadiscgolf.com. Road Bike Ride meets each Thursday at 6:30 p.m. at Andy Jordan’s Bicycle Warehouse downtown for an approximately 25-mile ride at a moderate to fast pace. Front and rear lights, as well as a helmet, are required. Call 706-724-6777 or visit andyjordans.com. Adapted Aquatics for Special Populations offered at the Wilson Family Y by appointment. Members, $11 per session; non-members, $22 per session. Discount for additional siblings. Call 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org.

Kickball League registration is available for a new adult co-ed league that starts April 7 at Riverview Park. Call 941-716-3163 or visit augustakickball.com.

Augusta Canal Interpretive Center and Petersburg boat tours spring schedule runs through March 31 and is as follows: The center is open from 9:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. Hour-long Petersburg boat canal tours depart at 11:30 a.m., 1:30 and 3 p.m. Admission to center is $6, or free with $12.50 boat tour ticket. Seniors 65 and older, active military/dependent and students (age 4-grade 12 or with valid college I.D.) are $2. One child under 3 per ticketed adult may get inw free. Call 706-823-0440, ext. 4. Groups call ext. 7. Visit augustacanal.com.

Miracle League Baseball registration will be held by The Family Y through March 10. $40. Season runs April 20-June 15. Call 706-922-9597 or visit thefamilyy.org.

The Augusta Fencers Club is open five nights a week from 5:30-9 p.m. and most Saturday mornings from 10 a.m.-noon. Visitors always welcome. Call 706-722-8878.

Wheelchair Tennis Clinic, presented by the Walton Foundation for Independence, meets each Monday at 6 p.m. (weather permitting) at The Club at Rae’s Creek. Free and open to the public. Call 706-826-5809 or email alsalley@wrh.org.

BlazeSports Swim Team, for all ages of physically challenged swimmers who want to train for competition, meets at the Wilson Family Y. Members, $35 a month; non-members, $50 a month. Pre-registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Tae Kwon Do is offered at the Wilson Family Y, Family Y of Augusta South and Family Y of North Augusta. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Yoga Class at Euchee Creek Library meets every Tuesday at 4 p.m. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. Weekly Group Runs include the Monday Metro Run meeting at Metro Coffeehouse at 6 p.m.; Monday Intervals meeting at the Family Y track on Wheeler Road at 7 p.m.; the Tuesday Nacho Mama’s Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday’s Blanchard Woods Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday Stay in Shape Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday’s Post Office Hill Training Run at 7 p.m.; Thursday’s Homer Hustle at 6 p.m.; and Saturday’s Stay in Shape Run at 8 a.m. Visit augustastriders.com. The Augusta Furies Women’s Rugby Football Club practices 6-8 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays at Julian Smith Casino for players 18 and up. Email augusta.furies@gmail.com or visit augustafuries.org. The Augusta Rugby Club holds weekly practice sessions at 6:30 p.m. on 24 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Civil War 150th Canal Tour, “Food, Fabric and Firepower,” is offered by the Augusta Canal Interpretive Center at 1:30 p.m. daily through 2013. Call 706-823-0440 or visit augustacanal.com. Men’s Basketball Registration is at the Wilson Family Y through March 6 for ages 18 and up. Members, $40; non-members, $60. $20 team entry fee due by March 6. Season begins March 18. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Kids-Teens

What’s in the Box? Outrageous Animals teaches kids about folk art while they create a slithering snake at the Morris Museum, 10-11 a.m., Thursday, March 7. Call 706-828-3867 or visit themorris.org. Freedom Friday will be held at the Family Y of Augusta South for ages 8 weeks-12 years, 6-9:30 p.m., Friday, March 8. Kids have a fun night of activities while parents get a fun night on their own. Free for active-duty military families. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Family Chocolate Festival will be held at Reed Creek Park in Martinez, 6:30-8:30 p.m., Saturday, March 9. Learn about where chocolate comes from while enjoying chocolate desserts and experiencing the wetlands at night. Registration required. $5. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com. Parents’ Night Out will be held at the Family Y of North Augusta and the Marshall Family Y for kids age 2-12, 6-9:30 p.m., Saturday, March 9. Kids have a fun night of activities while parents get a fun night on their own. Registration required. Non-members $20 per child. Visit thefamilyy.org. Sibling class is offered at Trinity Hospital to prepare big brothers and sisters for the new arrival and teach them how to participate in caring for their new sibling. Includes a visit to the nursery. Next session is Monday, March 11. Call 706-481-7727 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Geocaching with Kathy will be offered at the Maxwell Library as part of Teen Tech Week for ages 13 and older, 3:45-5 p.m., Monday, March 11. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org. Teen Tech Contest will be held at the Appleby Library, March 11-15 for grades 6-12. See how many video game characters you can identify! Poster will be on display at Circulation Desk. Prizes awarded March 18. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. Online Comics & Graphic Novels event will be held at Diamond Lakes Library for ages 12-17, 4 p.m., Tuesday, March 12. Discover great online sources for digital comics and graphic novels (some free). Bring your tablet, smartphone or laptop. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. “The Cat in the Hat” (PG, 82 minutes) will be shown at the Maxwell Library, Tuesday, March 12. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org. Cosmic Adventures show for grades pre-K to 8 will be held at Patriots Park Gymnasium in Grovetown, Tuesday and Wednesday, March 12-13. Show times are 9:30, 10:30 and 11:45 a.m., and 12:45 and 1:45 p.m. Bring a sack lunch. Students $4; chaperones free. Reservations required. Email sadkins@columbiacountyga.gov or call 706-312-7192. Checking @ Your Library with Kristin Eberhart will be offered at the Wallace Library as part of Teen Tech Week, 11 a.m., Wednesday, March 13. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org. Skulls and Scat will teach kids to identify wildlife based on tracks, skulls and droppings, 4:30-5:30 p.m., Wednesday, March 13. Ages 5 and up. Kids must be accompanied by an adult. Members free; non-members $2 per child. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com. GALILEO database event will be held at Diamond Lakes Library for ages 1418, 4 p.m., Wednesday, March 13. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Lego Club for grades K-5 will meet at the Aiken Library, 4-5 p.m., Thursday, March 14. Legos will be supplied. Call 803-642-7575 or visit abbe-lib.org. Apps and Sites event will be held at Diamond Lakes Library for ages 1217, 4 p.m., Thursday, March 14. Bring your tablet, smart-phone or laptop. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Spring Coloring Contest is going on through March 15 at the Appleby Branch Library. Participants ages 3-8 should pick up their coloring sheet at the circulation desk. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. 07MARCH2013

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Celebrate Women’s History Month Contest is going on through the month of March at the Headquarters Branch Library. Participants should pick up a contest form at the children’s department desk. Call 706-8212600 or visit ecgrl.org.

FORT GORDON DINNER THEATRE PRESENTS

“Larry Cat in Space” will be presented at the DuPont Planetarium, 7 p.m., Saturdays in March. “To the Moon and Beyond” will be shown at 8 p.m. General admission $4.50; seniors $3.50; students 4K-12 $2.50. Reservations encouraged. Call 803-641-3654. Youth swim lessons will be offered at the Wilson Family Y for ages 6 months-12 years, through March 28. Registration required. Discount for additional siblings. Financial assistance for all Family Y programs. Visit thefamilyy.org. Youth Boot Camp high-intensity exercise class will be offered through April 13 at the Family Y of North Augusta for ages 10-14. Meets twice a week for six weeks. Members $20 per session; non-members $40 per session. Visit thefamilyy.org. Swim Lessons are offered at the Wilson Family Y and the Family Y of Downtown Augusta for all skill levels from 6 months to adult beginners. Held in four-week sessions with twice-weekly classes through March 28. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. Tae Kwon Do is offered for all skill levels age 5 and up at the Family Y of Aiken County, North Augusta, Augusta South and the Wilson Family Y. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. Winter Basketball is held through March at the Family Y of North Jefferson for ages 7-18 years. Members, $30; nonmembers, $50. Call 706-547-2653 or visit thefamilyy.org. Ceramics Class, for ages 14 and up, meets Mondays at 9 a.m. or 6 p.m., Tuesdays at 6 p.m., and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. in the Weeks Ceramics Center. Call 803-6427631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Creative Arts offered at the Family Y of North Augusta for ages 5-12 years. Members, $35 per month; nonmembers, $55 per month. Visit thefamilyy.org. Toddler Time, playtime for children ages 5 and under, is each Monday and Wednesday from 9:30-11:30 a.m. at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. $2 per visit; $16 per 10-visit pass. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Mother’s Morning Out is offered at the Family Y of North Augusta for ages 2-4 years, 9 a.m.-noon, either Monday and Wednesday or Tuesday and Thursday. Mothers enjoy a relaxing morning twice a week while kids learn. Members, $70 a month; non-members, $90 a month. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. Drop and Shop is offered Monday-Friday at The Family Y of Augusta South for kids age 8 weeks-4 years, 8:30 a.m.-noon. Members, $5 a child per day; nonmembers, $7 a child per day. Also offered at North Augusta branch, 9 a.m.-noon. Members $9 a day; nonmembers $15 a day. Visit thefamilyy.org. Little Friends Gym, a parent and child class for those ages 6 months-4 years, is held each Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov.

March 10, 2013 Matinee 3:00 p.m. Book by Heather Hach Music and Lyrics by Laurence O’Keefe and Nell Benjamin Based on the novel by Amanda Brown and the Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer motion picture Harvard’s beloved blonde takes the stage by pink storm in this fun, upbeat musical about self-discovery. Based on the adored movie, LEGALLY BLONDE: THE MUSICAL stays true to form with a peppy score and playful book. This musical is ridiculously enjoyable from start to finish. “Very funny. Zips by in an explosion of witty musical numbers and dance routines. Even the most dour character must surely leave the theatre secretly humming the catchy soundtrack.” – Daily Post “A modern fairytale. An enormous treat, not to be missed.” – Evening Chronicle

REFERSHMENTS

Light snacks, desserts, soda, beer and wine for purchase.

TICKETS

Show only: $30

Story Time is held at the Columbia County Library at 10:15 and 11 a.m. Tuesdays, for kids under 2 years old; at 10:15 a.m. Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays for 2-year-olds; at 11 a.m., Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays for preschoolers; and at 4 p.m. Wednesdays for all ages. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. Loud Crowd, a supervised after-school program for those ages 4-12, is Monday-Friday from 3-6 p.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-8602833 or visit augustaga.gov. 07MARCH2013

For reservations, call 706-793-8552 AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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Homeschool PE Time, for elementary school aged kids, meets Monday-Friday, from 9-11 a.m. at the Kroc Center. Members free. Call 706-364-5762 for nonmember prices. Visit krocaugusta.org.

Mudpuppies, an arts and crafts program for ages 2-5, is held each Thursday at 10:45 a.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov.

Mother’s Morning Out is every Tuesday and Thursday, 9 a.m.-1 p.m., at the Wilson Family Y for children ages 3-4. The schedule follows the Richmond County school calendar. $90 per month for members; $110 per month for non-members. Register at any Family Y or visit thefamilyy.org.

The Augusta Arsenal Soccer Club Junior Academy, for boys and girls ages 5-8, meets each Thursday at 5:30 p.m. at the Augusta Soccer Park. Call 706-854-0149 or visit augustasoccer.com.

Story Time is held at the Diamond Lakes Branch library 10 a.m. each Tuesday. Registration required for groups of six or more. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Tai Chi Panda, a Chinese martial arts program for kids ages 5-13, meets Tuesdays and Thursdays. Ages 5-7 meet at 4 p.m.; ages 8-10 meet at 5 p.m.; ages 11-13 meet at 6 p.m. Call 706-394-0590 or visit augustameditation.com/taichi.html.

Fairy Tale Ballet is held at the Family Y of Aiken County. Offered once a week for one month for a total of four classes. Members, $25 a month; non-members, $35 a month. Visit thefamilyy.org. Boy and Girl Scout troops are hosted by Augusta Jewish Community Center. For Boy Scouts, visit troop119bsa.com or email geoffstew@gmail.com. For Girl Scouts, email sbehrend@bellsouth.net. For Daisy/ Brownie Troop, email bdmrev@yahoo.com.

Preschool Story Time is every Tuesday at Headquarters Branch Library at 10 a.m. Toddler Story Time is every Wednesday at 10 a.m. Group registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Creek Freaks, a Georgia Adopt-a-Stream team of middle- and high-school students, meets regularly at Phinizy Swamp Nature Park to monitor the health of Butler Creek. Call 706-796-7707 or visit naturalscienceacademy.org.

Story Time is held every Tuesday at 10 a.m. at Friedman Branch Library. Groups of six or more must pre-register. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org.

Fun-Time Fridays, for ages 2-5, is held each Friday at 10:45-11:30 a.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov.

Story Time is every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Harlem Branch Library. Call 706-556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org.

Gesher, a teen program for post b’nai mitzvah youngsters (7th-12th grade), meets every other Sunday at Adas Yeshurun Synagogue. Call 706-733-9491.

Lap-Sit Story Time, for children under 2, is held every Tuesday at the Columbia County Library at 11 a.m. Story time for 2-year-olds is every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday at 10:15 a.m. and for preschoolers at 11 a.m. Group registration required. Call 706-8631946 or visit ecgrl.org. Kroc Trotters Running Group, for those ages 16 and older, meets at 6:30 p.m. each Tuesday and Thursday at the Kroc Center to run the trails of the Augusta Canal. $15. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Story Time is held every Wednesday from 10-11:15 a.m. at Wallace Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org.

Story Time is held each Wednesday at the Appleby Branch Library from 10:05-10:20 a.m. for toddlers age 18-35 months, and from 10:30-11:15 a.m. for preschool kids age 3 and up. An adult must remain with the child. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org.

Hobbies

26 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

“Sketching Politics,” an exhibit of political cartooning,

Tangled Threads quilting demo will be held 1-4 p.m., Sunday, March 10 at the Augusta Museum of History. Visit augustamuseum.org.

DECLASSIFIED

Homeschool Playgroup meets each Thursday at 10:30 a.m. at Creighton Park in North Augusta. Call 803613-0484.

“Anxious Visions” by surrealist Michael Northuis will be on display at the Columbia Museum of Art until April 7. Call 803-799-2810 or visit columbiamuseum.org.

If you would like to see your organization’s events listed in our calendar, please email Amy Christian at amy@themetrospirit.com. The deadline for each Thursday’s issue is the previous Friday at noon.

St. Patrick’s Day luncheon will be held at the SMLCR as part of the Trinity Hospital Senior Circle events, 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m., Wednesday, March 13. Call 706-481-7979 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

AARP Tax Aide allows seniors to have their returns prepared for free at The Kroc Center through April 15. Call 706-364-4064 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Study Hall for teens meets Wednesdays from 3-5 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-8212600 or visit ecgrl.org/teens.

“Impressionism from Monet to Matisse” exhibit will be on display at the Columbia Museum of Art through April 21. Adults, $15; seniors and military, $12; students, $5; kids 5 and under, free; members, free. Call 803-799-2810 or visit columbiamuseum.org.

Thursday Nights at the High, a special event at the High Museum of Art in Atlanta, offers half-price tickets from 4-8 p.m. each Thursday. A guided tour is offered at 6:30 p.m. Call 404-733-4200 or visit high.org.

BINGO will be held at the SMLCR as part of the Trinity Hospital Senior Circle events, 10:30 a.m., Thursday, March 7. Call 706-481-7000 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Wacky Wednesday Story Time is each Wednesday at 10 a.m. in the children’s department of Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall. Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com.

Story Time at the Euchee Creek Branch Library, for all ages, is held each Wednesday at 10:30 a.m. and each Tuesday at 4:30 p.m. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org.

Elsewhere

will be on display at Hickory Hill historic house in Thomson through April 15. General admission, $3; seniors, $2; children, $1. School and educational groups are admitted for free, but must make reservations. Visit hickory-hill.org.

Seniors

Free tax preparation will be provided through April 12 at the Aiken Library (803-642-2020) and the Nancy Carson Library in North Augusta (803-279-5767). Visit abbe-lib.org.

Story Time is every Wednesday from 10:30-11 a.m. for toddlers and 11:15-11:45 a.m. for preschoolers at North Augusta Branch Library. Call 803-279-5767 or abbe-lib.org.

Bible Teaching Seminar, featuring the topic blessings for obedience and curses for disobedience, is Saturday, March 9, from noon-1 p.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. Participants should bring their own Bibles. Call 706-691-4023 or visit donaldsao.com.

Parties at the Family Y offers various activities, days and fees, according to branch location. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Story Time is held each Wednesday at 10 a.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Pre-registration required for groups. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org.

Story Time is every Wednesday at 10:15 a.m. for pre-K, and either 11 or 11:30 a.m. for preschoolers at Aiken County Public Library. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org.

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What Goes Around Comes Around The Wright family wraps up another birthday season

We just wrapped up birthday season around here. Well, mine isn’t until May, and the Man’s is in September, but The Kids’ birthdays are the ones that really matter, and they just turned 7 and 9. Wow. I love celebrating birthdays. There’s only one day out of 365 that’s just yours. Well, maybe not JUST. The Girl shares her birthday with our cousin Ben, our friend Harriett, Dr. Seuss and our friend/babysitter, Josie. I share mine with my best friend Liz, another friend Debbie, a friend’s ex-husband, and two other girls with whom I graduated high school. I’m not sure why that’s so fascinating. There are, after all, 365 days in the year. There are billions of people who need birthdays. The Man and I got married 10 days before my 25th birthday. To give him credit, the days leading up to that birthday were rather chaotic. We had a rehearsal dinner, dozens of family members and even more friends in town, a wedding, and a fantastic honeymoon in Hawaii. All of those trump a birthday. However. He forgot my birthday. I was working at Fat Man’s at the time. Everyone there knew it was my birthday. I got my free lunch at The Pit, and everyone passed along their well wishes. The Man and I talked on the phone a couple of times, but he never mentioned my birthday. I wasn’t mad (no really, I wasn’t), but I decided to see just how long this could go. When would he realize it? Once we were both home from work, I smiled to myself. This was funny. We sat there together, and I had a secret. I’d share it soon enough. There was a knock at the door. It was my mother-in-law. She came bearing gifts. And a cake. When the door opened, The Man said, “Oh crap (or something like it).” I laughed, because, again, I wasn’t mad at all. My birthday is now on his big calendar and work. His bookkeeper also keeps it on her calendar. When The Kids have birthdays, it’s not about spending as much money as we can. I try to make the day special. Their chair at the kitchen table is covered with balloons. Happy birthday banners hang throughout the house. Candle laden donuts are for breakfast, and we have lunch together at school. It’s their choice for dinner, and they usually choose Mexican. The Boy won’t wear the sombrero, and The Girl doesn’t like clanging pots, but they do get the free fried ice cream at Vallartas. Come to think of it, I’m not sure what happened to their birthday tequila shots.

As much as I love celebrating birthdays, I hate planning kid birthday parties. I should like them. I pay attention to detail, and I like making things. I’m a planner by nature. Kid birthday parties are beasts. I’ve expressed my distaste for the extravagance they’ve become because of Pinterest and other internet competitions. I thought that was my problem. I blamed facebook and other bragging sites and my inability to keep up. I think the pressure might be self-imposed. I’m not worried about my kids having fun at their parties. I truly don’t care if Johnny Smartypants had homemade party favors. I don’t want your kids to think my kids are lame. You see, I know my kids aren’t lame. As far as I’m concerned, they’re pretty cool. I don’t want to screw that up. If the party is dumb, will your kids think my kids are just as dumb? It silly, really. It’s just a birthday party. There’s just so much pressure. I will not cave. The parties feel so daunting each year. I don’t want to forget anyone. If I intentionally leave someone out, it may be for numbers’ sake only. Then there are invitations, the cake and party favors. I’m not all that worried about how expensive any of those are, but each element must be present. I stress. Fortunately, each kid had a simple and sweet party. The Boy wanted to go bowling with friends, but didn’t want the birthday fanfare. We invited eight kids and bowled for two hours. Honestly, they’re so terrible at bowling (yes, even with the bumpers); they only got to bowl two games. I think they all had fun. We sent home cupcakes in brightly colored boxes instead of serving cake. The Girl had her party at the studio where she takes dance. The allure was obvious. We provide the cake and the kids, and the studio does everything else. That’s my kind of party. Pulse Dance Center put on one of the more fun kid parties I’ve been to, complete with a jazz routine to a Bieber song. The favors were CDs made up of cheesy top 40 hits. Simple and inexpensive. I did worry that CDs wouldn’t be cool anymore. Oh well. I can’t afford iPods for all. At the end of the day, they each turned another year older. As stupid as it sounds, I can’t believe it. I was warned. They‘re growing too fast. For now, I happily stress about planning their parties. I also look forward to a nice Cabernet as reward for all of my hard work.

JENNYWRIGHT lives in Summerville with her husband, who she calls The Man, and two kids, who she affectionately calls The Boy and The Girl. She enjoys taking photos, cooking and playing tennis.

07MARCH2013

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FEATURED

March 7 07Thursday, Live Music

The First Round - Wayland French Market Grille West - Doc Easton Smooth Jazz Joe’s Underground - Kenny George MAD Studios - Open Mic Poetry and Spoken Word w/ Floetic Flo Malibu Jack’s - Marilyn Adcock Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Live and Local Rose Hill Estate - Preston Weston & Sandra Sky City - Roadkill Ghost Choir w/ Mercies and River Whyless Somewhere In Augusta - Country Line The Willcox - Four Cats in a Doghouse Wild Wing - Sibling String

Local favorite Tara Scheyer kicks off a day of music at the ETCP Spring Fest on Saturday, March 9, at the Lady Antebellum Amphitheater. Tara plays at noon, followed by other local faves including The Henrys, The Robbie Ducey Band, Ray Fulcher, Smoke and Mirrors, Derelict String Band and Sibling String.

What’s Tonight?

Chevy’s Nite Club - Karaoke, wine tasting Cocktails Lounge - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Fox’s Lair - Trivia, Soup and Suds Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Highlander - Butt Naked Trivia Joe’s Underground - Trivia w/ Jacob & Wendell The Loft - Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Evans) - Karaoke The Playground - Open Mic with Brandy Shannon’s - Karaoke Villa Europa - Karaoke Wooden Barrel - ’80s Night Karaoke

Friday, March 8 Live Music

100 Laurens - Eli Montgomery Bell Auditorium - Classical Mystery Tour Carolina Ale House - Old Man Crazy Country Club - Scarletta Doubletree - Classic Jazz French Market Grille West - Doc Easton Joe’s Underground - Jerod Gay MAD Studios - Cameras, Guns, & Radios Malibu Jack’s - David Heath Perfect Picture PI Bar & Grill - Music for Lovers w/ Matthew Whittington Polo Tavern - The Hollerers Shannon’s - The Southern Meltdown Band Sky City - Little Tybee CD Release Show w/ Colorfeels Somewhere In Augusta - Conner Pledger Stillwater Taproom - Paleface Surrey Tavern - Bloodkin Wild Wing - AcostA

What’s Tonight?

Armando’s - Karaoke w/ Rockin Rob Cocktails Lounge - Grown-Up Fridays with DJ Cork and Bull Pub - Karaoke Eagle’s Nest - Free Salsa Lessons; Latin Dance Party Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Iron Horse Bar & Grill - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke with Ryan Moseley Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke with Jeff Barnes Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Three J’s Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke Palmetto Tavern - DJ Tim The Playground - DJ Rebeck’s Hideaway - Open Mic 30 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Roadrunner Cafe - Karaoke with Steve Chappel Soul Bar - ‘80s Night Wooden Barrel - Karaoke Contest

March 9 09Saturday, Live Music

100 Laurens - Keith Gregory The Acoustic Coffeehouse - Open Acoustic Jam Session with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Chevy’s Nite Club - Live Music Country Club - Black Jack Billy Joe’s Underground - The Unmentionables Lady Antebellum Amphitheater - ETCP Spring Fest w/ Tara Scheyer, The Henrys, The Robbie Ducey Band, Ray Fulcher, Smoke and Mirrors, Derelict String Band, Sibling String MAD Studios - Celia Malibu Jack’s - Tony Williams Blues Express P.I. Bar and Grill - Not Gaddy Jazz with Pam Bowman Polo Tavern - JAR Sky City - Sami the Great w/ Mieka Pauley Surreal at Surrey - Dirt Surrey Tavern - Gaslight Street Wild Wing - Brandon Hooker Band

What’s Tonight?

Club Argos - Variety Show Cocktails Lounge - Latin Night Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Loft - DJ Richie Rich Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Karaoke with Danny Haywood Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke Robbie’s - Saturday Night Dance Party Soul Bar - DJ JB Fresh Wooden Barrel - Kamikaze Karaoke

March 10 10Sunday, Live Music

5 O’Clock Bistro - The Henrys Cotton Patch - Keith Gregory (brunch) Malibu Jack’s - Playback The Band w/ Tutu Dy’Vine Patridge Inn - Sunday Evening Jazz w/ the Not Gaddy Jazz Trio Wild Wing - Dave Love The Willcox - Jon Vaughn, brunch; Preston & Weston, night

What’s Tonight?

Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke, Salsa Dancing Shannon’s - Karaoke with Peggy Gardner

March 11 11Monday, Live Music Shannon’s - Open Mic Night

What’s Tonight?

Applebee’s (Evans) - Trivia Club Argos - Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Trivia Robolli’s - Trivia with Mike Thomas Somewhere in Augusta - Poker Wild Wing - Trivia

March 12 12Tuesday, Live Music The Highlander - Open Mic Night Shannon’s - Karaoke Contest The Willcox - Piano jazz

What’s Tonight?

Chevy’s Nite Club - Shag Night Club Argos - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Dart League Joe’s Underground - Poker Night Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane Limelight Cafe - Bottom’s Up Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - Poker Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Trivia The Playground - Truly Twisted Trivia with Big Troy Polo Tavern - Karaoke Shannon’s - Karaoke with Mike Johnson Somewhere In Augusta - Big Prize Trivia Surrey Tavern - Tubeday Tuesday Movie Night

March 13 13Wednesday, Live Music

Chevy’s Nite Club - Steve Chappel Country Club - 95 Rock presents POD w/ Nonpoint, Within Reason and Stillview French Market West - Old Man Crazy Joe’s Underground - Kathleen TurnerOverdrive Malibu Jack’s - Marilyn Adcock

What’s Tonight?

Armando’s - Karaoke w/ Rockin Rob Club Argos - Santoni’s Satin Dolls Cocktails Lounge - Augusta’s Got Talent Cotton Patch - Trivia and Tunes Hotel Aiken - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane The Loft - Karaoke Midtown Lounge - Karaoke w/ Charles O’Byrne Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke The Playground - Krazy Karaoke with Big Troy Polo Tavern - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Somewhere In Augusta - Comedy Zone w/ Donna Carter and Travis Howze Surrey Tavern - Trivia with Christian and Mickey

Upcoming

AcostA - Joe’s Underground March 14 Fustics - Wild Wing March 14 Old Man Crazy - Crazy Turk’s March 14 Jared Ashley - Country Club March 15 Nappy Roots, Jerry Feels Good - Sky City March 15 J.C. Bridwell - Somewhere In Augusta March 15 Monkeygrass Jug Band - Stillwater Taproom March 15 The Derelict String Band - Tavern at the Bean March 15 Old Man Crazy - Bird Dog Grille March 15 Shinebox - Wild Wing March 15 Amanda Daughtry - Country Club March 16 Keith Gregory - Joe’s Underground March 16 St. Patrick’s Day Party w/ Funk You, The Ramblin’ Fevers, Young Goodman Brown, Sibling String, Craig Waters, DJ Griffen Eubanks - Sky City March 16 Josh Pierce, Sibling String - Stillwater Taproom March 16 Old Man Crazy - Cotton Patch March 16 Jon Rooks Trio - Wild Wing March 16 Funk You - 5 O’Clock Bistro March 17 Old Man Crazy - French Market Grille West March 20 Von Holmes - Joe’s Underground March 21 Sirsy - Sky City March 21 Celia Gary - Somewhere In Augusta March 21 Joe Stevenson - Country Club March 22 Celia Gary - Joe’s Underground March 22 Granny’s Gin - Somewhere In Augusta March 22 (r)EVOLUTION - Soul Bar March 22 07MARCH2013

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Mississippi Kites - Stillwater Taproom March 22 Old Man Crazy - Carolina Ale House March 22 Mad Margritt - Wild Wing March 22 Irritating Julie - Wild Wing March 23 Mike and Dave - 5 O’Clock Bistro March 24 Old Man Crazy - French Market Grille West March 27 Panic Manor w. Everybody Run - Sky City March 28 Tyson Thaxton - Somewhere In Augusta March 28 Michael Stacey Band -Country Club March 29 Lindsay Lou and the Flat Bellys - Stillwater Taproom March 29 Steven Bryant - Tavern at the Bean March 29 Holman Autry - Country Club March 30 Joy Division Cover Band - Soul Bar March 30 Jason White - Laura’s Backyard Tavern April 5 The Broadcast - Surrey Tavern April 11 Carrie Underwood - James Brown Arena April 19 Alice in Chains - Bell Auditorium May 1

Elsewhere

Sara Watkins - Red Clay Theatre, Atlanta March 7 Matrimony, Gaslight Anthem - The Masquerade, Atlanta March 7 Cowboy Junkies - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta March 8 Souls Harbor - Rock House, Savannah March 8 Moontower, Mindy Smith - Eddie’s Attic, Atlanta March 9 Consider the Source, Magic Wands, Texis is the Reason, The Ambassadors, & The Deer Tracks The Masquerade, Atlanta March 9 Ponderosa - Kights of Columbus Hall, Savannah March 9 Lady Gaga - Philips Arena, Atlanta March 11 Matchbox 20 - Johnny Mercer Theatre, Savannah March 12 Shinedown w/ Three Days Grace - Martin Luther King Jr. Arena, Savannah March 12 Andy Velo - Saddle Bags, Savannah March 15 Mission of Burma - The Earl, Atlanta March 16 Della Mae - Charles H. Morris Center, Savannah March 21 Steep Canyon Rangers - Charles H. Morris Center, Savannah March 21-22 Maroon 5, Neon Trees, Owl City - Philips Arena, Atlanta March 27 Jared Ashley - Saddle Bags, Savannah March 30 Savannah Music Festival featuring EmmyLou Harris, Rodney Crowell, & Richard Thompson Johnny Mercer Theatre, Savannah April 3 Valorie Miller - Savannah Folk Music Society, Savannah April 5 Jason Aldean, Luke Bryan, Jake Owne, Thomas Rhett - Sanford Stadium, Athens April 13 Cold War Kids - The Masquerade, Atlanta April 17 Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran - Philips Arena, Atlanta April 18 Tribal Seeds - Georgia Theatre, Athens April 26 Celtic Woman - Johnny Mercer Theatre, Savannah May 3 Larry the Cable Guy, Bill Engvall - Fox Theatre, Atlanta May 4 Mother’s Finest - Melting Point, Athens May 4 Fleetwood Mac - Philips Arena, Atlanta June 10 One Direction - Philips Arena, Atlanta June 21

07MARCH2013

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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All Ages

P.O.D. and Nonpoint aim to please all fans For the most part in Augusta, if you are under the age of 21, you are missing the best shows. From Sky City, The Playground, Stillwater, The Loft and Joe’s Underground, if you aren’t old enough to buy the booze, you not old enough to see the music. Event after event, you see those detrimental words for minors, “21 and up.” With the exception of Sector 7G, shows at the Bell Auditorium and the James Brown Arena, 90 percent of the places to see live music are 21 and up. Being selfish, I actually like it this way. But I know if I were under 21, for a lack of better words, I would be pissed. I have had the pleasure of announcing shows coming to Augusta for the past six years and the biggest complaint is about not having enough allages shows. Well how about a compromise for you youngsters? The bands P.O.D., Nonpoint, Within Reason and Augusta’s own Stillview are playing the Country Club next Wednesday, March 13. Yes, the show is 21 and up, but the bands are here to please. So if you’re under 21 and you know how to read, I’m here to inform you that the bands P.O.D. and Nonpoint will be playing an all-ages acoustic show at noon on the 13th at Somewhere in Augusta. This is your chance to see the bands, maybe meet the bands, and if you’re nice, snag a couple autographs. Of course, if you’re over 21, you’re allowed in, and even better, you get to drink at lunch. My advice: show up early. Somewhere in Augusta opens up at 11 a.m. on Wednesday, so I would be ready to pack that place out. Speaking of Sector 7G, the band Veara is back at it, Friday, March 22. You know it’s an all ages show because doors open at 5:30. It’s $12 in advance to see Handguns, State Champs, City Lights, A Brighter Life, and Dead End Sons along with Veara. Sector 7G is at 631 Ellis Street. How about a little live music? Head down to the newly renovated and now smoke-free Joe’s Underground on Friday night to see Jerod Gay. Last time Jerod played they had a packed house, so Joe’s did the right thing and went and bought more chairs. On Saturday night, Atlanta’s No. 1 ‘90s rock band, DIRT, will be playing all your favorites from the ‘90s. Does the set include 4 Non Blondes? It better! Or just enjoy covers of Alice In Chains, Nirvana, Pearl Jam and other bands from Seattle. Doors open at 8:30, music at 9 p.m. And remember! Watch out for Operation Thunder! Am I allowed to say the word ‘nappy’ yet without getting fired? Hope so, because the band Nappy Roots is returning to Sky City on Friday, March 15. Nappy Roots is bringing along special guest Jerry Feels Good. Get more details at skycityaugusta.com. Good news on the home front: Dead Confederate is set to release their third full-length album, “In the Marrow,” on April 16. You can reserve your copy now at deadconfederate.com. Or you can plan on making a road trip to join the guys at their album release shows in Atlanta or Athens. The band is in Atlanta at The Earl on April 19, and in Athens at the 40 Watt Club on April 20. I’m sure more dates are to follow. I hope the album kills. Here’s a quick “kudos” to downtown Augusta. Since moving downtown over two years ago I have fallen in love with the place. The downtown scene is the best in Augusta, and you can definitely tell that downtown is a community. It was even more apparent when tragedy hit a local bartender last week with the passing of a family member. A bunch of the downtown regulars rallied together to help raise money for the local family. Pretty cool to see, just thought I would point that out. Next weekend is St. Patrick’s Day! Or at least, it’s the day that we are all going to drink green beer and Jameson, and celebrate St. Patties Day. Next week I’ll run down all the fun for the festivities. If you have something cool going on, email me at matt@themetrospirit.com.

MATTSTONE can be heard weekdays from 2-6 p.m. on 95 Rock.

| W W W. W I L D W I N G C A F E . C O M 07MARCH2013

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SAMEIFLING

“Jack the Giant Slayer”

You might think nothing could mess up this story. You’d be wrong. You might be forgiven for assuming the best about “Jack the Giant Slayer,” what with its capable cast, proven director and reliable folk tale source material. Surely no one could muck up a story that has enthralled — tens of millions? hundreds of millions? — countless children over the past couple of centuries. And with the director of “The Usual Suspects” and the first two “X-Men” movies at the helm? What, exactly, could go wrong? The short, depressing answer to that question is just about everything. This “Jack” is a botch on the order of being given a thousand dollars to invest in a grilled cheese sandwich and failing even to make proper toast. Aside from the effects on the beanstalk and on the giants, who are occasionally decent, “Jack” looks to be a visual homage to made-for-TV movies. Bryan Singer, a director who should know better, sets his camera seemingly wherever. The actors are roundly leaden. The score is tepid. What you have here is a bombastic adventure movie for kids that may indeed work for kids, but not without reminding adults of every cheap kids movie they were at one time plonked in front of while adults wandered off, thankful for a quiet moment and vowing they would one day parent better. “Jack” begins with the fairy tale, told to a farmer’s boy (that’d be Jack) and a young princess separately at bed time: beanstalk (check), giants (okay), monks who melt a giant’s heart into a crown used to control the giants (uh…) and magic beans as holy relics (seriously). Jumping ahead a few years, we find that Jack (the perfectly pleasant Nicholas Hoult) has been tasked with selling a nag and cart inside the local castle. There he runs across said princess (Eleanor Tomlinson) and is shooed away by the royal guards (notably Ewan McGregor). A monk on the run gives him a baggie of beans and hops on the horse, leaving Jack to trudge back home virtually empty-handed. His irritable, reasonable uncle scatters the beans. One gets under the house and after a while sprouts violently to the heavens, as magic beans are wont to do. Meanwhile we gather that courtly skeeze Stanley Tucci is set to marry the princess, despite her protestations to her father, the king, Ian McShane. Tucci’s robbed a tomb to get the magic crown and magic beans and intends to use them to command an army of giants. But when the princess runs away, stops by Jack’s house and is transported to the clouds by the sprouting stalk, his evil plans get folded into an ostensible retrieval mission.

FEBRUARY 8

FANTASY

“Oz the Great and Powerful,” rated PG, starring James Franco, Michelle Williams, Rachel Weisz, Mila Kunis. Ever wonder what Oz was like before Dorothy arrived? Yeah, we didn’t think so.

THRILLER

“Dead Man Down,” rated R, starring Colin Farrell, Noomi Rapace, Dominic Cooper, Terrence Howard. The director (Niels Arden Oplev) and star (Rapace) of the original film version of “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” reunite for this story of a victim seeking revenge.

34 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Once Jack and the king’s guards and the princess and the bad guy and the giants are all in the cloud realm, running around, getting in fights, tempting danger, killing one another, the movie finds a few moments of honest excitement. But too much else is plain baffling. Why if the legend speaks of giants do villagers flock to the bottom of the beanstalk? Why do you cast the vampiric McShane as the king and then stuff him into goofball robes and armor? Even though we’re stuck in a rescue-a-princess storyline, does that mean she can’t have any personality, wit or development? What motivates these giants to pillage and terrorize anyway? What marvels could this story have born if Terry Gilliam had directed? Alas, these all will go unanswered. From a magic bean of a bedtime story, this ungainly mass grew. Nothing to do now but chop it down and flee.

HORROR

“The ABCs of Death,” rated R, starring no one you’ve ever heard of before. Twenty-six chapters directed by as many directors.

DOCUMENTARY

“Don’t Stop Believin’: Everyman’s Journey,” not rated, starring Arnel Pineda, Neal Schon. How Arnel Pineda from Manila clicked on a link on YouTube and became the voice of Journey.

07MARCH2013

V24|NO10

VALERIEEMERICK

Out with the Old

New North Augusta SpringFest replaces Yellow Jessamine Festival The City of North Augusta has created a new spring festival in the place of the previously held Yellow Jessamine Festival. The new festival will be called SpringFest and will take place across three weekends in March. The festival kicks-off with a reception for the SpringFest Art Competition this Friday, March 8, from 6 to 8 p.m. at the North Augusta Arts and Heritage Center. So why the shift from the Yellow Jessamine Festival to SpringFest? John Felak, the program coordinator for the City of North Augusta, explains. “This is the seventh year we’ve been doing a spring festival, but it’s the first year painting it as ‘SpringFest.’ We decided this year to change the name of it,” he said. “Our artists had become a little challenged for new ideas for painting yellow jessamine, so we decided to change it to ‘SpringFest,’ where we could change the focus of the artwork without changing the name of the festival.” This year’s theme is the camellia. Camellia plants can be found throughout North Augusta and have a notable tie to the community. The historic Lookaway Inn, located in North Augusta at the fork of Carolina and Georgia avenues, was once home to Dr. H.G. Mealing, a local physician and avid horticulturalist who developed and registered 20 new camellia varieties. Some of his camellias still exist on Lookaway Inn’s grounds, and at the Maude Edenfield Park’s new camellia garden, through the efforts of the Aiken Camellia Society. Aside from the name and theme change, another element that differentiates SpringFest from the Yellow Jessamine Festival is that it will take place over three weeks, with each week encompassing a slightly different focus. “We actually used a tagline for SpringFest,” says Felak. “And that tagline is North Augusta HAS it. The ‘H’ stands for ‘horticulture,’ which is really our second weekend effort. The ‘A’ stands for ‘art,’ which is more of our first weekend effort, and the ‘S’ is for ‘sports,’ which is what our third weekend is.” The other big change for the festival is the location. In the past the festival has taken place on Georgia Avenue, closing the city street for the spring festival, but this year it has been moved to Riverview Park. “We have had a very successful and extensive remodeling of the park,” Felak explains, “it is our grand reopening of the park. We’ll have the mayor there. All of our spring sports, or at least most of our spring sports will have their opening day that day [March 23] that will start at 9:30 in the morning with remarks from the mayor, a ceremonial ribbon cutting and the Star Spangled Banner. Then there will be other entertainment throughout the day.” All events are free and open to the public. For more information on SpringFest 2013, check the Arts and Heritage Center of North Augusta’s webpage at artsandheritagecenter.com.

07MARCH2013

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 35

V24|NO10

Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Amanda Bailey, Crissy Starke, Mesha Ellison and Ariel McIntosh at Farmhaus.

SIGHTINGS

Evan and Taylor Stone with Kerry and Travis Shealy at Whiskey Bar (Kitchen).

Ben Adkins and Lindsey Bonham with Morgan and Riad Elmore at the Oddfellows Art Gallery.

SIGHTINGS

Stefanie Deritis, Winter Walker and Kasey Deuchar at the Bee’s Knees.

Darrel and Katy Leech with Rick Harrington and Marisa Barnes at the ribbon cutting of the Augusta Convention Center.

SIGHTINGS

Amanda Howard, Ashley Gilbert and Mitchell Gilbert at the Country Club.

36 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Stephanie Bullarol, Brian Konitzer. Katie Dyches and Brent Wilson at the Boar’s Head.

Sarah Holley, Celissa Knight and Ashley Blevius at the ribbon cutting of the Augusta Convention Center.

Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Lan Nguyen, Karry Goff and Kathy Spencer at Sky City.

07MARCH2013

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LINE These words best describe Augusta: bridke, shmaltsik, ekldik, shlump, farstunken and farkakte! I don’t know if I would buy any polyester clothing at Ruebens, but I love the sandwich named after them. It’s batampte! Hey Boss Hogg! Now that you Increased Columbia County Population to Capacity, how about Adding those Public Services Necessitated by Such Increased Population! You Know! Drinking Water & Sewerage Lines! Regular Fire Houses as well as increased Police Presence( Columbia County Deputies Do a Fantastic Job! BUT they need their Work Force Increased in Proportion to the County’s Population Increase!) Yeah! I Know Boss! You’ll be GLAD to do All of this...For a Little Bitty Fee! Okay Boss! Do Irt! People are foaming at the mouth...people are working themselves into a frenzy...people think the world is about to undergo a dramatic change...people think that they’re about to enter a new, perhaps better, uplifting epoch. Calm down people, Obama’s not going to be impeached - you’re just getting a new Pope! Just remember, when a single person suffers from a delusion, they call it insanity. When a group of people suffer from a delusion, they call it a religion. Its a hard pill to swallow to know that you can be awarded a badge, gun and ability to arrest someone with as little education as a GED. Responding to the whine entry last issue that said Verge was a “cool little rag.” You, whiner (nice try, Matt Plocha), clearly do not want people to understand how that paper worked. Almost story you read was written as part of an advertising package. Employees and contractors were stiffed for work they did (like moi). Circulation was inflated at a Charles Walker level. The Plochas’ place downtown was stuffed to the rafters crap newspapers that nobody wanted to read. Sorry, “whiner” (Hi, Matt! Where’s my check?), but nobody’s buying anymore. But, yeah, the Buzz on Biz really sucks. So if we are not to confuse children, how ever are they to learn how to serve in Congress?

WHINELINE@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM

Have something you want to get off your chest? Send your whines to whineline@themetrospirit. com. If you do so by noon on Friday, you might just see it in the next Thursday’s issue. Oh, and whines may be edited for content but will pretty much be printed exactly as you type them.

you have so many children? Some people still consider this disgraceful. Too bad the city of Augusta does not fire Fred Russell and make Al Gray city administrator. But then Mr. Gray’s association with Bradfly Owens does give me pause about his judgement. Might have to rethink that whole thing. Matt a sanj, you suck and i hate you both. Also, i think you guys come off as gay on your show. When will ellen be making an appearance on your very gay show? Question: Aren’t all Yankee liberals herbal enthusiasts? This is not a whine but I’d like to thank Hyundai Hope On Wheels for honoring health care providers on FB. It’s nice to know someone appreciates all we do. My present employer sure doesn’t seem to. This whine is to the people who drive the little blue car through my neighborhood Monday through Fridays (between 1 and 3pm) blasting their car stereo so loud my windows rattle... If you want to play music loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear at least play something GOOD! Your music sucks. Get yourself some taste and invest in some Jimi Hendrix or old Motown music. Then I won’t have to whine anymore about it. Oh, and I can recommend a good Audiologist (a Dr who treats people with hearing loss). Your gonna need one listening to crap that loud for too long! Has everyone seen “The Fallout Boy” on the corner of Washington Road and Alexander? That guys plays a mean pizza box guitar! Josh Ruffin’s article on the Second Amendment was excellent! Ain’t it funny how these folks will buy those raggity old police cars and spend thousands of dollars on a paint job and big ugly wheels for it. In the end they have a very nice looking raggity old police car. What is their attraction to these cars? Could it be that they have ridden in these cars many times before they were sold? The only thing worse than seeing a black boy sagging his pants is seeing a white boy do it. Yes, Sightings is pictures of white people in white places. This way the photographer doesn’t have to worry about being shot.

THUMBS

WHINE

V24|NO10

An adult, upon getting an Ambridge, Pa., student’s voicemail, mistakes the lyrics to the “Fresh Prince of Bel Air” theme song he uses as his message and calls police because she thinks a school shooting is about to take place. Lockdown ensues.

down

There’s someone out there who doesn’t know the lyrics to the “Fresh Prince” theme song? That’s just sad.

If you’ve never had a job and never been married why would

38 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

07MARCH2013