Metro Spirit 04.10.2003

THE METROPOLITAN

Arts, Issues & Entertainment

April 10-16 Volume 14 Issue 35 www.metspirit.com

Welcome Visitors!

Inside: Your Complete Guide to Events, Entertainment and Nightlife

CLARK HOWARD T H E

P O C K E T

P R O T E C T O R

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EASTER SPECIAL

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Coming in April to the Augusta Canal

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SUNDAY, APRIL 27 16th Annual Canal Cruise and Cookout It’s time to peddle, paddle and party at the 16th Annual Augusta Canal Cruise and Cookout! Paddle a canoe or pedal a bike along the towpath between the headgates and Enterprise Mill where you’ll party to the tunes of Air Apparent, enjoy Sconyers Barbeque and explore the new Augusta Canal Interpretive Center. Canoeing: $40 per person, Bicycling: $20 per person, Cookout only: $15.Call 706-823-0440 for more info or to sign up for the cruise. Registration deadline Noon, Sat. April 26.

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HOLY THURSDAY, APRIL 17 7:00 PM – Evening Mass of the Lord’s Supper GOOD FRIDAY, APRIL 18 12:15 PM – Celebration of the Lord’s Passion 3:00 PM – Stations of the Cross 7:00 PM – Children’s Living Way of the Cross HOLY SATURDAY, APRIL 19 8:45 PM – The Great Easter Vigil

EASTER SUNDAY, APRIL 20 Ecumenical Sunrise Service, Jessye Norman Ampitheater 6:52 AM Mass Schedule:

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Contents

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The Metropolitan Spirit

A P R I L

1 0 - 1 6

•

F R E E

W E E K LY

•

A Traditional Sheraton Easter Brunch

M E T R O

April 20, 2003 11am - 3 pm

S P I R I T

M E T S P I R I T. C O M

$22.95 per person for adults $8.95 per child under 12 years of age

ON THE COVER

Clark Howard: The Pocket Protector

By Brian Neill .....................................18 Cover Design: Stephanie Carroll

Complimentary Champagne and Mimosas

Special visit by the Easter Bunny

The Traditional Feast

Roast Turkey with Giblet Gravy Roast Pork Loin with Port Demi Glace Buttered Mashed Potatoes Old Fashioned Cinnamon Pecan Sweet Yams Traditional Macaroni & Cheese Homemade Southern Cornbread Dressing Sweet White and Yellow Corn Southern Style Green Beans Broccoli and Cheese Casserole Vegetable Medley

Seafood Platters

Peel-n-Eat Shrimp Oysters on the Half Shell Steamed Mussels Smoked Salmon Baked Atlantic Salmon

Carved and Made to Order Eggs and Omelettes Steamship Round Honey Glazed Ham Cherries Jubilee and Ice Cream

Breads

Sweets and Dessert Bar

Crab Salad Tossed Greens Fruit Salad Chicken Salad Antipasto Salad Cranberries Fresh Melons and Berries Cream of Potato Soup

Whine Line ......................................................................6 Suburban Torture ............................................................6 Letter to the Editor .........................................................9 Guest Column ...............................................................10 Austin Rhodes ...............................................................11

Breakfast

Hash Browns SOS Pancakes French Toast Bacon & Sausage Grits with bacon and cheese

Fresh Biscuits Sweet Rolls Fresh Cornbread and Muffins

Fresh Greens and Fruit

Opinion

Live Jazz Combo by George Sykes and Friends

2651 PERIMETER PARKWAY

PLEASE MAKE YOUR RESERVATIONS EARLY (706) 855-8100, EXT. 4

Metro Beat Augusta v. Martha Burk and the ACLU .......................12 Gold Dome: Complete Coverage of the Georgia 2003 Legislative Session ............................................16

Masters® Guide Visitors’ Guide to Fun Stuff in Augusta ......................24

Flutter in to

Visitors’ Guide to Fun Stuff in Augusta...........................................24

Events

Cinema

Music

Music By Turner ............................................................38 Music Minis ...................................................................40 Night Life .......................................................................41

Stuff News of the Weird ........................................................44 Brezsny's Free Will Astrology ......................................45 New York Times Crossword Puzzle ............................45 Classifieds .....................................................................46 Amy Alkon: The Advice Goddess ................................47 Date Maker ...................................................................48 Automotive Classifieds ................................................50

to see what’s new for spring …

• Fountains • Aquatic Plants • Garden Statuary

8 Days a Week .............................................................28

Movie Listings .............................................................34 Review: “Anger Management” ...................................36 Movie Clock ..................................................................37

GARDEN ACCENTS

EDITOR & PUBLISHER David Vantrease ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Rhonda Jones STAFF WRITERS Stacey Eidson, Brian Neill ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Joe White ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Kriste Lindler, Jennifer H. Mar tin PRODUCTION MANAGER Joe Smith GR APHIC ARTISTS Stephanie Carroll, Natalie Holle ASSISTANT TO THE PUBLISHER Meli Gurley RECEPTIONIST/CLASSIFIED COORDINATOR Sharon King ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT ASSISTANT Lisa Jordan CIRCULATION DIRECTOR Meli Gurley SENIOR MUSIC CONTRIBUTOR Ed Turner CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Chuck Shepherd, Rob Brezsny, Austin Rhodes, Amy Alkon, Rachel Deahl CARTOONISTS Tom Tomorrow, Julie Larson

THE METROPOLITAN SPIRIT is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks of the year. Editorial coverage includes ar ts, local issues, news, enter tainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publishers. Visit us at www.metspirit.com. Copyright © The Metropolitan Spirit Inc. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited.

Phone: (706) 738-1142 Fax: (706) 733-6663 E-mail: spirit@metspirit.com Letters to the Editor: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, Ga. 30914-3809

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Whine Line W

hy do you find it unthinkable Thumbs Down? Weren’t the Sept. 11th terrorists legal citizens? Didn’t they attend U.S. flight schools? To me, it makes sense that they might have joined the U.S. military also.

It is such a shame; something like this has happened in a time of war. I hope those troops will be able to stay focused and continue to believe they are in the company of friendlies and not terrorists and anti-American Hussein supporters.

Major boos to Martha Burk. Her responses in your article last week were predictable and ridiculous. She does nothing to make her case and turns people off with her arrogant attitude.

God bless America! Go troops! Go Operation Iraqi Freedom. Go, go, go!

Excuse me, mister radio talk-show host Mike Reagan. Although I do listen and value your perspective, I am trying to understand the reason you were urging the black community to call in and give their explanations and opinions on why this bad attitude, black American Muslim soldier would do something so horrible. Geez, I can only wonder how many black radio personalities were urging white people to voice their thoughts on why Timothy McVeigh did what he did. McVeigh and this soldier have deeply wounded and let down all Americans.

Martha Burk advocating mandatory birth control for teenagers? Does she have any idea how this would wreck the endocrine system of people not yet fully developed? Kids who had pills they didn’t need jammed down their throats go out and kill people when they grow up. Now she wants to end their sex life before it begins? Nuts!

I say “kudos” to Martha Burk for having the courage to stand up to Hootie and the Augusta National. She’s right as she stated in the Spirit article last week that Hootie Johnson started this battle by his over-the-top response, “a three-page press release to members of the national press.” Hootie Johnson is the problem. Burk may not provide the solution but what else could she do? Defer to the male power structure at the Augusta National and in the male-dominated sports press?

What kind of leader would she be then?

These war protesters must want the Iraq war to end right now. Wouldn’t that mean Saddam wins? He would really be hard to handle then.

Lowell Greenbaum and his pal, Paul L. Cook, have done more to harm the Democratic Party

in Richmond County with their stupid letters to the editor than anything the Republicans could do. Keep up the good work, guys.

Congrats to Sheriff Ronnie Strength for holding his own against the high-powered ACLU lawyers. They probably thought they could intimidate and confuse a small-town Southern sheriff but they were wrong.

To the whiner who is whining about those who are complaining about how slow the war is going and reminding them that if it wasn’t for the U.N and political factions bogging “us” down the war would be over and we’d be rebuilding. That’s interesting. What this whiner fails to take into account is that the entire world except for those tiny countries bribed and blackmailed into supporting this illegal war, and the U.K., are against this war.

Let’s remember something: Iraq did not attack us; Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11.

Iraq does not have weapons of mass destruction. Iraq is not just Saddam Hussein; Iraq is made up of people like you and me. They are dying because they have no place to go. This is not a video game people: Women and children are dying because George W. Bush wants the oil. Remember, North Korea has nuclear weapons; they have a missile that can

reach the West Coast and North Korea threatened us with those weapons, but Bush says that is a regional problem. No George, tell the truth. It’s about the oil, stupid.

was nowhere near packed; the owners obviously just wanted to make their club seem elite. Do they think they’re running Studio 54? Wake up, guys!

The Columbia County rain tax has been declared a tax by Judge Bowen and should be passed back to the Superior Court system.

Now what are the great commissioners going to do — punt? Too bad they lacked the sense to call it a tax from the start. They should have added it to the millage rate instead of putting it on the water bills.

Thank you for the article about the war from a child’s point of view. The simplicity, honesty and innocence of the attitude of the 6-year-old was refreshing. It was a very nice article.

Now I respect the endeavors of downtown club owners who’ve done their best to make downtown Augusta a fun and exciting place to be. But this weekend I witnessed some truly ridiculous antics. Customers outside a popular nightclub had to wait over half an hour to get in the club on Saturday night. The reason? According to the police officer at the door, it was due to the fire code. There were too many people inside, he said. But then he told us that if we knew someone important who worked there, we could get in. Sure enough, the club owners came outside to pick and choose people out of the line while everyone else stood out in the cold and waited patiently. The irony of this is that the club

Julia Roberts receives a gift basket worth $20,000 for a couple of minutes spent presenting an Oscar and reading cue cards. Barry Bonds gets about $25,000 each time he goes up to bat. A corporal in the Army in Iraq, working 24-hour days, gets about $2.50 an hour.

Looks like the electrical power producers think Congressman Norwood is great and are encouraging us to give Norwood a pat on the back according to the radio ads. He may have done his power company buddies a favor, but he continues to do nothing to fix the lack of health care for young military retirees. Also, what has he done to get President Bush’s tax cut passed?

It wasn’t April Fool’s Day. Austin Rhodes spent the entire program cutting down women continued on page 8

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We can also safely say the Volvo S60 is more than equipped to hold its own when it comes to performance and handling. Thanks to its sport-tuned suspension, wide, corner-gripping stance and 4-channel antilock brakes. It’s made for corners. And whatever may be lurking around them. Visit your local Volvo retailer or volvocars.com.

THE 2003 VOLVO S60. STARTING FROM $26,370. MODEL SHOWN $27,315.* *MSRP of the 2003 Volvo 560A as shown with optional equipment is $27,315. Price does not include destination charge, tax and title. See your authorized Volvo retailer for complete details. ©2002 Volvo Cars of North America, LLC. Volvo for life™ is a registered trademark of Volvo. Always wear your seat belt.

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continued from page 6 in the military and specifically Jessica Lynch, the liberated POW who had two broken arms, a broken leg, and gunshot wounds. He criticized her for crying, for crying out loud!

Then he bellyached about his allergies to pollen. I would like to pull out one of his fingernails and listen to his reaction.

Suburban Torture BY

JULIE

LARSON

What were the idiots downtown thinking when they closed off Central Avenue two weeks before Masters under the guise of protecting our water supply against terrorism?

The fact is that a couple of Augusta commissioners have been looking for an excuse to jerk around west Augusta since their effort to close the street failed the first time around.

Having the opportunity to visit Fort Gordon on a regular basis, I am in awe as to all the building that is going on. New school, new fire department, new communications center (under construction). Troop quarters being refurbished. There may be more that I am not aware of. But, would it make sense to shut down a facility that is as up-to-date as Fort Gordon and is constantly being improved? I know that there is constant waste in all areas caused by the government — this would be a horrendous waste. Best wishes to Mr. Larry DeMeyers. Let us hope he can accomplish what he was hired for.

I hope the visitors to the golf tournament give Augusta the benefit of the doubt. We’re not all women-hating, Rebel flag-loving, Neanderthal types. I implore all Augusta residents to go out of their way to be nice to visitors so they will leave with a good feeling about our town. Please.

With the war in Iraq, SARS, the lousy economy and a million other things to worry about, do we really care whether a rich woman is allowed to play golf at the National? I don’t.

I smell sour grapes: 420 Outback and Jemani are the most popular bands in Augusta. Most of 420’s music is original, written by the band members. Why don’t you take your $5 to another establishment where you can listen to your music?

Please print this whine, even though I’m pretty sure there will loads of hate-filled responses to it. Both of my parents served overseas in WWII. A cousin of mine as well as my high school boyfriend’s father were killed in Vietnam. I really love my country, but feel that I am watching it turn into a drug addict who refuses treatment. I feel as if I am watching it kill itself and can’t do anything about it!

I’m afraid the U.S. will pay dearly for its foray into Iraq. Regardless of the outcome of the immediate battle in Iraq, we will be fighting the post-Iraq war for a long time.

To everyone who whines about Austin Rhodes: Why not call his radio show instead of leaving a 35-line whine? I enjoy his show, because if I complained like so many of you do, I would just not listen to him. Just turn him off and stop filling up the Whine Line.

To the person or persons who dropped a beautiful male dachshund, who is very lovable, and arthritis in his back legs. It’s a shame you didn’t think enough of him that you could have taken him somewhere safe, instead of dropping him off to be hit by a car or something. I’ve run ads to find the owner, but you didn’t want to be found. That’s OK. He has a good home now, and if you think you will get him back now, you have another thing coming.

I must say that your editor has to be an idiot to have Austin Rhodes write a column every week. Your paper is great but Austin is so not the Spirit. What’s up?

Praise for Mayor Bob Young for voting against the proposal to kill the flag referendum. He did the right thing by voting to let the people vote. Thank you Mayor Bob!

In reference to the card-carrying black Republicans: What will it take for you and other black Republicans to understand that the only purpose you serve is your vote?

Republicans have no intention of changing their racist good ol’ boy system. Look what they did to Mr. Starks in Columbia County.

They brainwashed him so, that he does not want to be called an African-American.

Every time they get into office, there is a recession and a war. Who do you think suffers the most, when things get rough?

Answer: Blacks and poor whites, in that order. Who do you think the Army is made up of? We will take Powell and Rice back, when they get through using them. Look at the big picture, beyond the smiles, handshakes, and slaps on the back. Look at the Republican track record. It’s not good. The tax cut gave millions to the rich and $300 to the poor, if they had a job. Bush got his war, and you helped him get it. Thanks!

I frankly do not want one penny of my tax money going for a new entertainment center in Richmond County. Yes, I am a Columbia County taxpayer and I do not intend to support a rathole.

- Call our Whine Line at 510-2051 and leave your comments. We won’t use your name. Fax your whines by dialing (706) 733-6663 or e-mail your whines to whine@metspirit.com.

Robbie Williams is a cool lady. She puts Martha Burk to shame. Thanks for including her comments in the Burk article last week.

Here’s a solution for those who can’t serve jury duty. Let half be retired people, who wouldn’t mind serving on a jury and wouldn’t have any problems about missing work. Have the other half be those who can serve without any inconvenience.

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Letter to the Editor

M E T R O

Attack on Norwood Based in Fiction

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read with great interest and amazement Mr. Willis Clifton’s recent letter to the editor entitled “Norwood: EgoDriven Non-Performer,” that was printed in The Metro Spirit.

While the bulk of the letter contains various disconnected snipes directed at Congressman Norwood of a personal and very venomous nature, there is at least one paragraph in Mr. Clifton’s diatribe that attempts to address an actual issue. Unfortunately, that paragraph, like the others in Mr. Clifton’s letter, is completely inaccurate.

Specifically, Mr. Clifton makes the assertion that Congressman Norwood has “done nothing in the past six years to help military retirees and veterans with their health care.”

Giving Mr. Clifton the benefit of the doubt, perhaps he just didn’t do his homework or overlooked the numerous bills Congressman Norwood has supported and even co-sponsored since 1995 to defend and strengthen access to health care for our nation’s veterans and military retirees. In any event, the fact is Congressman Norwood, a veteran himself, has done a great deal in this area.

One piece of legislation from the 107th session of Congress, the Keep Our Promise to America’s Military Retirees Act (H.R. 58), comes to mind as a prime example. H.R. 58, which Rep. Norwood co-sponsored and championed, would restore the health care that was promised to military retirees by allowing them to participate in FEHBP, CHAMPUS, or to simply remain in TRICARE. Additionally, for those retirees who entered the service prior to 1956, it would provide fully paid coverage under FEHBP. It’s true that Charlie and others were not successful in getting this legislation passed in the 107th Congress; nevertheless, it remains high on his list of issues to promote again this session.

Regarding another issue of particular interest to military retirees and veterans, concurrent receipt, Rep. Norwood served as a cosponsor last session of the Retired Pay Restoration Act of 2001 (H.R. 303). This bill would correct the dollar-for-dollar offset of military retired pay and VA disability com-

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Congressman Charles Norwood pensation that is being wrongfully imposed today, by allowing military retirees to collect their full retirement pay and disability compensation to which they are entitled. While provisions improving this situation were contained in the FY 2003 National Defense Authorization Act that President Bush (signed) into law, Congressman Norwood’s strong resolve to correct this problem fully has not been diminished.

It’s important to keep in mind, while Congressman Norwood continues to fight for military retirees and veterans, he has only one vote in a body of 435 members. I have no doubt that if Congressman Norwood became king for a day, these two measures would quickly become the law of the land. In any event, it is worth noting that VA medical care discretionary spending has grown 40 percent since 1998 — to almost $25 billion today.

Despite Mr. Clifton’s best efforts to contend otherwise, Congressman Norwood has a strong track record of fighting for our nation’s military retirees and shows no signs of letting up one bit.

— Duke Hipp, Press Secretary Rep. Charlie Norwood (GA-09)

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Get the Facts: An Educated Commentary

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’m writing this editorial in response to Denise A. Hamrick’s letter three weeks ago stating her views on choice.

Personally, I wish people would stop spreading misinformation to support their personal views and agendas. To make matters worse they stoop low enough to make personal attacks with an obvious lack of knowledge on the topic.

Denise A. Hamrick wrote, “You have to wonder how much Ms. Pierucci is taking to the bank?” Personally, I can’t give you a dollar amount. Mary Beth Pierucci works for the local Planned Parenthood, a non-profit organization which has no state funding and relies largely on donations. Everything Planned Parenthood does in the Augusta community, from its teen pregnancy prevention programs to its surgical procedures, is performed at prices near cost.

This may be a newsflash to you, but people who work in non-profit organizations usually do so because they are committed to the cause and receive their gains by helping others, not by getting rich. I sincerely invite Ms. Hamrick or any other reader to get involved in a community-based nonprofit organization and learn firsthand how “profitable” it is. The community is certainly in need of increased volunteerism.

As a professor of psychology who regularly teaches scientific methodology and statistics, I’m often taken aback by people’s misrepresentation of “scientific facts.” The “scientific” evidence Ms. Hamrick included in her letter to the editor is completely inaccurate. I’m left with the impression that she never read the article she cited by Darling1 or the accompanying commentary by Rosenberg2, who immediately questioned the validity of the study and called for more scientific data on the matter, or more importantly the large scale epidemiologic study by Melbye3, et al which showed no evaluated risk of cancer due to abortion. These are a couple of the many studies that scientifically show no harmful physical effects due to abortion.

All too often people rely on the Internet to formulate their arguments on “factual” information. The problem with this approach is that very often individuals who have a specific agenda misrepresent “scientific” information on their Web sites. It is vitally important that you always read the original source to determine if the study was conducted in a valid manner. Unfortunately I was unable to obtain Dr. Philip Ney’s original manuscript.

Since none of the libraries in the CSRA carry the journal it was published in I’m left to assume that Ms. Hamrick once again got her information from an agenda-based, secondhand source off the Internet. However, I have read plenty of studies that show no negative effects of abortions on the mental well-being of a woman. In fact, a panel of experts in this area assembled by the American Psychological Association concluded unanimously that legal abortion “does not create psychological hazards for most women undergoing the procedure.”

Personally, I respect your opinion in opposing abortion. But when you share that opin-

Richard Topolski, Ph.D. ion, please be educated on the subject.

Furthermore, I would like to share one undisputable fact: Only pregnant women get abortions. As a community we need to put more time, energy and money into programs that help prevent unintended pregnancies. If you want to reduce the number of abortions, then try putting some effort into working together to stop teenage and unintended pregnancies.

The United States has the highest teen pregnancy rate of all the industrialized countries in the world. Georgia has the sixth highest teenage pregnancy rate in the country.

Richmond and the surrounding counties’ teen pregnancy rates are well above the state’s average. This is not only a major embarrassment to the CSRA, but a huge financial strain on our community.

How do we reduce unintended pregnancies and abortions? One word — education!

Parents often state that they want to be the source of information about sex for their children. To be effective, parents need to educate themselves as well as their children.

There are plenty of agencies that educate parents and teens, including Planned Parenthood; Girls, Inc.; Richmond County Health Department, etc.

Why are so many people willing to bow their heads in prayer but are unwilling to lift a finger to truly help others? I can’t understand the total apathy of individuals in this community. If you want to make a difference — get educated; get active!

— Richard Topolski, Ph.D. Dr. Topolski is a professor of psychology at Augusta State University and a member of the Youth Development Task Force.

1. Darling, J. (1994). Journal of the National Cancer Institute, 86:1584-1592.

2. Rosenberg, D. (1994). Journal of the National Cancer Institute, 86:1569-1570.

3. Melbye, et al. (1997). New England Journal of Medicine, 336:81-85.

11

Opinion: Austin

M E T R O

U.S. Media Covers Augusta National With the Aplomb of Al-Jazeera

I

f there is any doubt they come with an agenda and an attitude packed in their designer laptop carry bags, let the question be forever settled.

They enter the press building smiling; they collect their all-access credentials and grab egg salad sandwiches. Their plan? To bring the leadership of Augusta National into the realm of the “normal.” They want the men who call the shots at the National to yield to their pressures and influences, keeping pace with every other sports entity in America.

They are professional sports journalists, and with rare exception they are the most cynical, bitter, vindictive and overbearing know-it-alls working in legitimate journalism today.

They can also put out a pile of manure a mile deep and two miles wide to support their ridiculous causes.

The 9-month effort to make Martha Burk’s quest some kind of legitimate social cause has been filled with enough slanted commentary and outright lies to make the Iraqi Information Minister look like Edward R. Murrow.

Where do we start?

New York Times 4/9/03, Selena Roberts’ Sports of the Times column: Discussing the political implications of doing anything other than carrying the National’s water, Roberts suggests mayoral candidate Ed McIntyre lost because he advocates female membership at the club.

“If political life around these parts boils down to courting those for and against — or fer and agin’, as some locals say — it’s much healthier to ‘Honk If You Love Hootie.’ Those who don’t can pay a price.”

Hey Selena, McIntyre is a convicted felon.

He was arrested and convicted on bribery charges while serving as Augusta’s mayor 20 years ago. He was defeated because he was a crook, not because he agrees with Burk. He has also lost three other elections in recent years. Do your homework, babe.

American Journalism Review, March 2003, “Howell Much Is Too Much,” by Rachel Smolkin: In a revealing review of the New York Times crusade on the matter, the Times columnist Dave Anderson is quoted as saying,”... this is one of the great sports

sociological stories in America. It’s the men of Augusta National versus the women of the world.”

And you thought great fable-writing was dead. Outside of the outraged journalists, and the shrill women who are protesting, no one really cares about this “story.”

Atlanta Journal-Constitution, 4/8/03, Martha Ezzrard’s column “Why Burk’s Battle Elicits Ambivalence” Ezzard quotes several leading Southern feminists, including this gem from Anne Harper of NOW: “With corporate sponsors shying away from the Masters, I think Martha and the National Council of Women’s Organizations have already won.

Augusta will never be the same; maybe they should declare victory and go home.”

Sponsors shying away? ANGC Chairman Hootie Johnson pulled the plug on sponsorships himself, as a pre-emptive strike against the combative machinations of NOW, the NCWO, and their ilk. The mainstream press knows without a shadow of a doubt that if the club wanted sponsors, it could have them, no questions asked. Why that fact isn’t reported baffles me.

There are many examples of slanted commentary and mysterious omissions in the coverage of the resignation of ANGC member Thomas Wyman last December. The former head of CBS gained headlines when he said of the issue: “It will not go away and it should not. I know there is a large number of members, at least 50 to 75, who believe it is inevitable that there will be and should be a woman member...there are obviously some redneck, old-boy types down there...”

So ... a has-been TV executive, infirm with illness, resigns and it makes headlines all over the world. About the same time Wyman was leaving the club, a much more interesting figure was joining. He is the most important businessman in the world today. He is philanthropic without peer, and committed to equal rights in every way an employer can be. His name is Bill Gates, chairman of Microsoft. In the midst of all the “heat,” a tree-hugging, liberal- thinking, pro-woman wunderkind dons a Green Jacket.

You know who “broke” that story to the Associated Press, months after it hap-

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pened? Me. I did it for the principle of the thing. You know how many times USA Today, publisher of the list of all ANGC members last October, mentioned Gates’ new affiliation? Not once.

I also mentioned in this column, and on my radio show last April, that U.S. Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor had been offered a membership at ANGC after she retires from the bench. You out-oftowners need to pay more attention to the locals if you want to keep up.

And of course it is not just the journalists playing fast and loose with the facts, but the main antagonists, Martha Burk and Jesse Jackson, are piling it high and deep with the best of them.

Burk recently suggested in broadcast interviews that federal Judge Dudley Bowen was expected to rule against her protest location requests (ridiculous as they are) because he is some type of sycophant to the club. Hardly. A few years back Bowen reportedly warned ANGC that they were litigating maliciously against a few local merchants in an effort to curtail use of the term “Augusta” on T-shirts and hats.

He threatened the mother of all fines if they continued. They didn’t.

Jackson said on CNN’s Crossfire that the term “The Masters” originated because of the slave owners who ran the original plantation on which the course was designed. That statement has to be one of the dumbest things the good reverend has ever said. Golf historians know full well the term Masters was originated by Clifford Roberts as a tribute to the Masters of the game. The name Masters was a bone of contention between Roberts and Bobby Jones for serveral years, Jones thought it was too pretentious, he finally related.

With the weekend still ahead, the final chapters of Masters 2003 haven’t been written. As they are, know and understand that the national media has about as much journalistic credibility on this issue as AlJazeera has shown several oceans away.

Most of the word peddlers are here on a mission, and they intend to complete it.

— The views expressed in this column are the views of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. The archived Austin Rhodes columns can now be seen at www.wgac.com.

S P I R I T

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12 M E T R O S P I R I T

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Augusta v. Martha Burk and the ACLU

I

t was very strange sitting in federal court watching attorneys from Georgia’s chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) take on the city of Augusta.

The ACLU attorneys were extremely thorough, providing a number of exhibits during a five-hour hearing in order to prove to U.S. District Court Judge Dudley Bowen Jr. that the city was wrong in denying Martha Burk and the National Council of Women’s Organizations the right to protest at the front gates of the Augusta National and across the street along Magnolia Drive.

The city’s case, carefully laid out by attorney Jim Ellison, relied heavily on the testimony of Richmond County Sheriff Ronnie Strength.

While many outsiders may envision the hearing to have resembled something like Los Angeles attorney Robert Shapiro questioning a babbling Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane from the “The Dukes of Hazzard,” it was anything but.

In fact, Strength was impressive on the stand.

His responses to the pointed questions by the ACLU attorneys highlighted the fact that he has more than 25 years of law enforcement experience in Richmond County and is very familiar with the crowds and traffic congestion during Masters Week.

“There is a massive number of pedestrians and an untold number of vehicles that travel Magnolia Drive during Masters,” Strength told the court, describing Magnolia Drive as a narrow road without sidewalks that leads to several private residences that Masters patrons often use for parking. “There’s at least 1,000 folks a day on Magnolia

“

Drive. ... and there is nowhere to walk.

They have to walk in the street.”

Magnolia Drive, located directly across from the Augusta National’s main gates on the other side of Washington Road, is also next to a hospitality business called The Club House.

If there were to be a number of protesters shouting and holding up signs along this heavily traveled area, Strength said, it could cause major traffic accidents because drivers wouldn’t be able to concentrate on the road.

“They would easily become distracted,” Strength said. “They would want to try and read the signs and see what’s going on and they would take their minds off driving. ... They may not notice a pedestrian crossing the street.”

At Burk’s other requested location, just outside the Augusta National’s main gates by Magnolia Lane, Strength said that there simply wasn’t enough room for both protesters and patrons of the tournament to safely use because the footpath on that side of the road is narrow and uneven.

“If we allowed protesters on that side of the street, I fear someone would have to step into Washington Road to get around them,” Strength said, adding that there is also no sidewalk on that side of the street.

Or, if the path became too congested, Strength said, someone could easily trip and fall into the heavy traffic on Washington Road.

In order to satisfy the protesters’ wishes of being in close proximity to the Augusta National and address his own public safety concerns, Strength requested the use of 5.1 acres of land owned by the Augusta National along Washington

BY STACEY EIDSON

Ronnie Strength Road in front of Savannah West Apartments.

“This was property they had earmarked for off-site parking for employees,” he said. “It’s about one-tenth of a mile east of the Augusta National’s property line and four-tenths of a mile from the club’s main gate.”

Strength said he approached the National because he had no other option.

“The city did not own any property in or around the Augusta National,” Strength said.

When the Augusta National agreed to let the city use the property, Strength said, he thought his worries were over.

He felt that this area would be large

enough to safely accommodate everyone applying for a protest permit.

Instead, the NCWO filed suit against the city.

Ellison asked the sheriff whether he felt he had reasonably considered all of the protesters’ applications.

“We were determined to treat everybody the same,” Strength said. “We weren’t going to treat anyone any differently.”

In fact, Strength said, he approved part of the application submitted by Rev. Jesse Jackson and the Rainbow/PUSH Coalition, asking to protest at the intersection of Highland Avenue and Wheeler Road.

“I had no problem at all with them protesting there because there really is no continued on page 14

We were determined to treat everybody the same.

We weren’t going to treat anyone any differently.

— Richmond County Sheriff Ronnie Strength

”

13 M E T R O

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continued from page 12 pedestrian traffic up there,” Strength said.

However, Jack Batson, attorney for the ACLU, said the sheriff had not done all he could to try and accommodate the protesters, pointing out that prior to anyone submitting an application, Strength was already telling the press that no one would be allowed to protest anywhere near the Augusta National.

“That’s probably accurate,” Strength said, “based on public safety.”

Batson then asked Strength how many protesters at the Magnolia Lane entrance could be permitted since Burk’s request to have 12 representatives on each side of the club’s entrance was not acceptable.

“One would become a problem,” Strength said.

Acting surprised, Batson asked what specific measures had the sheriff taken in the past to handle the safety concerns along the pathway leading to Magnolia Lane, since it has such a congestion problem.

“None,” Strength replied.

Finally, Batson asked if the sheriff ever had considered cutting back some of the bamboo along the Augusta National gates to allow more room for pedestrians.

Strength told Batson that he wasn’t trying to be smart with him, but explained that his main function was to protect citizens from criminal activity and promote public safety.

“Not cutting back bamboo,” Strength said, as the audience in the courtroom laughed.

Strength had charmed the audience, but Batson was determined not to allow him to charm the judge.

He asked Strength if he was saying he didn’t care that the bamboo might be overgrown and creating a public safety hazard.

“I’m not saying that at all; you’re saying that,” Strength quickly responded.

So, Batson said Strength was basically implying there was no way to widen the area or reroute the pedestrian traffic around to other gates in order to accommodate protesters along the club’s front gate.

“Anything is possible, just not feasible,” Strength said.

To try and show the court that it is possible for the city to allow protesters at the club’s front gates and Magnolia Drive, the ACLU attorneys brought in Robert Klotz, an expert on protest management from Washington, D.C. Klotz said the city could easily put up metal or wooden barricades to block off Magnolia Drive to accommodate protesters. He also said there’s enough room on the pathway along the club’s main gate for at least three people to stand side-by-side.

He stated that he felt it would be better for the city to have the protesters spread along Washington Road instead of having several groups, who oppose one another, all located in the 5.1-acre lot on Washington Road.

“That’s very poor police work,” Klotz said, about the 5.1-acre lot.

But with one question, Ellison tried to blow Klotz’s testimony away.

“Mr. Klotz, when was the last time you attended the Masters Tournament?”

Ellison asked.

“I’ve never attended a Masters Tournament,” Klotz said.

In his closing arguments, Gerry Weber, the ACLU’s legal director, told the judge that the city would obviously have to make several arrangements, such as redirecting pedestrian traffic, in order to accommodate protesters along Magnolia Lane and Magnolia Drive.

“Is it an inconvenience? No question,” Weber said. “But it’s a constitutionally required inconvenience.”

Weber also said that it was unfair for the sheriff to arrange for the antiAugusta National crowd and the Augusta National supporters to be located in the same area.

“The sheriff has chosen sides,” Weber said, pointing out that the Augusta National supporters specifically asked to be located next to Burk.

“We are off in the middle of counterdemonstrators, away from our target audience (the club’s members and pro golf players),” Weber said. “And they (the Augusta National supporters) are right where they want to be – next to Martha Burk.”

However, Ellison said, if the ACLU wanted to get technical and force the city to grant the requested location of every applicant on a first-come, firstserve basis, Burk and the NCWO would be out of luck.

“On March 6, Martha Burk and the KKK filed an application,” Ellison said, both requesting to be along the front gates of the Augusta National. “They (the ACLU) were not the first to request that location.’

Ellison stressed that, by choosing the 5.1-acre property along Washington Road, the sheriff was honestly trying to accommodate everyone.

“The only thing the sheriff was trying to do was treat everyone equally,” Ellison said.

In the end, Judge Bowen agreed with the city and upheld the sheriff’s decision to locate Burk, the NCWO, and the rest of this year’s protesting gang all together in one happy, 5-acre lot across from the National.

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16

Gold Dome Revue

M E T R O

BY

GREG

LAND

S P I R I T A P R

Complete Coverage of the Georgia 2003 Legislative Session

1 0 2 0 0 3

Well, That Settles That

A

nd so, after six hours of firespitting debate and with less than one half-hour left in the General Assembly’s 33rd day (“crossover” day, by which any bill which will be passed this session must be voted out of at least one legislative chamber) the state House of Representatives – facing massive budget cuts, layoffs, schools splitting at the seams and the myriad issues facing the families of armed forces members fighting overseas – finally took action on our bold “New Georgia” governor’s most pressing matter.

They voted to replace the Georgia flag with a 160-year-old modified Confederate banner, then drag out a two-step process, with votes next March and July, to “let the people decide” whether they want to stay with that oldnew design or go back to the good ol’ Stars and Bars (a.k.a. “Sonny’s Flag”).

Let’s not detail the impassioned pleas of the black Democrats (joined by a handful of their white colleagues) who uniformly voted against reopening the issue, or spend too much time on what seemed to be genuine changes of heart among formerly die-hard Rebel flag supporters like Rep. Bobby Franklin (R-Marietta), who drafted the newest design in recognition that “hate groups and white supremacists” have been allowed to “hijack the Confederate battle flag and pervert it into a negative symbol without publicly and repeatedly repudiating them.”

Instead, GDR will just offer one simple suggestion to this gang of finger-in-thewind sponges for lobbyist largesse: Next session, go ahead and introduce an amendment making Georgia a “public initiative” state, whereby laws can be drafted and passed by petition. Sure, other states with that process have seen some, um, innovative measures written into law, but at least our elected officials wouldn’t have to risk their tickets on the gravy train by tackling contentious problems. Better to let ‘em name bridges, exempt campaign contributors and cronies from paying taxes and figure out new ways to put people in jail. That’s what they do best.

And speaking of legislative spineless-

ness, the House last week also finally managed to (kinda) perform its one constitutionally mandated duty: It passed a budget bill. Of course, the $16.2 billion package — from which House budgetwriters managed to trim $263 million, in an effort to meet Gov. Perdue’s projections without including his new tobacco taxes — still fell $128 million short. Even as the House wrangled over the flag, representatives tried to work out an agreement that would allow for a smaller tobacco tax than Perdue had originally called for, but would fill the spending gap.

But House Republicans — who have fought the governor tooth-and-nail over the increases, continued to refuse, hoping that more fiscally responsible Democrats would go ahead and pass the increase so the ‘Pubs could scream “tax-and-spend” come election time, and to Hell with the budget.

Didn’t work. House Dems — minus virtually the entire black caucus, who had walked out in disgust following the flag vote — failed to muster enough votes to pass the tax increase. The GOPcontrolled Senate, meanwhile, has drawn up their own plan — also sans tax hikes — that relies on heavier cuts and speeded-up sales and income tax collections from businesses to meet the shortfall.

(That howling you hear is from the Chamber of Commerce and Federation of Independent Business, who will have to pony up the cash much earlier than currently required.)

So what does it all mean? Two horrid little words: “special session.” (That howling you hear is from the majority of lawmakers, who are already looking at one of the longest sessions on the books; their staffers and secretaries, who’d like nothing better than to get their quiet, uncrowded Capitol back; and the press corps, who are exhausted with writing reams of copy about a do-nothing session.

For the lobbyists, however, it could mean some extra cash.)

On the homefront, our own newly minted Republican Sen. Don Cheeks landed a stout punch Monday against one of his longtime foes, the “payday loan” industry.

Still stung from his loss to the banking

“I’ve seen cases where unsuspecting Georgians have borrowed $200 and ended up paying back thousands in interest and fees.”

– Sen. Don Cheeks, regarding predatory lending practices industry during last month’s wrangle over predatory lending, Cheeks took the well Monday and blistered unlicensed businesses that make small, short-term loans for exorbitant interest rates (and their representatives, who lobbied hard to defeat Cheeks’ measure).

“Those people in the hall are like vultures on a dead carcass,” he shouted, waving letters from the state insurance commissioner, the Association of Retired Persons and the attorney general to bolster his case. “People have committed suicide” after digging themselves into a financial hole, he said. “I’ve seen cases where unsuspecting Georgians have borrowed $200 and ended up paying back thousands in interest and fees.”

After some debate, Cheeks’ bill passed 46-6. Afterward, the exultant senator said he felt the bill would also pass the House, even though similar legislation had died in earlier years.

“The House Banking Committee chairman is for it,” he said. “This is the most egregious form of lending ... and I intend to put ‘em out of business.”

More spirited debate erupted over a measure, introduced by Sen. Joey Brush (R-Martinez), to enact a portion of Gov. Perdue’s education re-reform package, which remains bottled up in the House.

Brush’s bill restores some of the “fair dismissal” rights granted to teachers, which were weakened in the 2001 education

reform package. A Democratic amendment, urged by the state’s two largest teachers’ unions, was defeated on a partyline vote, and the bill passed unanimously.

But not without often-acrimonious debate, during which Brush reminded listeners that Democrats had done away with the protections in the first place, and asserted they were now “looking for redemption.” Seeking to bolster his colleague’s argument, Sen. Don Balfour (R-Snellville) rose to allow that Republicans were largely responsible for ‘60s-era Civil Rights laws. That opened Brush — who, despite his position as chair of the education committee, is not generally considered one of the more scholarly members of the Senate — up to a spate of tart questions regarding the apparently inconsequential contributions of two fellows named Kennedy and Johnson, and a goodnatured grilling by veteran Sen. George Hooks (D-Americus), who is known as a sho’ nuff intellectual, as to which Georgia senators were responsible for creating the federal school lunch and school breakfast programs.

“What do I get if I know the answer?” asked Brush, who muffed the first one by answering “Herman Talmadge (correct answer: Richard Russell), but got the second one (correct answer: Herman Talmadge).

After the vote, a flustered but triumphant Brush was inundated with handshakes.

Quick hits: • Competing ethics bills have passed each chamber and will be resolved in

conference committee. The Senate measures — four bills comprising Gov. Perdue’s ethics package — would increase financial disclosure requirements and sharply bar conflicts of interests among elected officials, but it would also allow Perdue to fire the entire State Ethics Commission (he’s already strong-armed one member out) and replace them with his own appointees — despite the fact that he is currently under investigation by that very body.

The House version ignores disclosure and conflicts of interest, but slashes campaign contributions in half for statewide elected officials — yet only shaves $1,000 off the current $6,000 limit for state legislators. Go figger.

• Bills aiming to create statewide funding and standards for indigent defense have also passed each chamber, and will go to a conference committee. While both are substantial improvements over the current hodgepodge under which some defendants get no defense at all while others are provided counsel (of varying degrees of efficacy), the Senate bill is a bit more far-reaching — and, say House critics, too costly.

• And finally, the House passed a bill

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Clark Howard

The Pocket Protector

C

By Brian Neill

onsumer advocate and radio talk show host Clark Howard ascribes to a doctrine of frugality that’s absurd.

How absurd?

Well, here’s an example: After asking him how sales are going for his book, “Get Clark Smart: The Ultimate Guide to Getting Rich, From America’s MoneySaving Expert” — released this time last year — there’s a pause on the other end of the phone.

Howard is actually searching the Internet to see if he can find me a copy of his own book — used.

“Why not?” he says. “I love for people to buy my book used, or damaged or anything like that. We twice did damaged book sales where the books will get damaged in shipping and stuff, and normally they throw those away; they recycle them. And that’s crazy. My listeners will buy them.”

This ironic bargain-hunting exercise should come as no surprise to Howard’s listeners.

After all, this is a guy who’s a millionaire, yet isn’t opposed to buying used clothes, and shops regularly at Costco membership warehouse.

In fact, Howard named one of his dogs after the store. His other dog’s name, by the way, is QuickTrip, for the chain of convenience stores where Howard occasionally “splurges” to buy some Ben & Jerry’s ice cream.

Go ahead. Call him “cheap.” To Howard, that’s a compliment.

The 47-year-old Atlanta native, whose show airs weekdays in the 6-8 p.m. slot on local station WGAC-AM 580, has made quite a name for himself as the people’s “Pocket Protector,” giving on-air advice on everything from buying long-term-care insurance to putting kids through college.

And at the top of his list of pet peeves are people who spend themselves deeper and deeper into debt, mostly through abusing their credit cards.

In the past year and a half, Howard says, he has witnessed a surge in callers asking his advice about their paying off credit card debt with second mortgages.

“And I can give you a perfect tie-in with that: It was reported today that home foreclosures have reached an all-time record high,” Howard says. “And so what people will do is, they mortgage up to their eyeballs, and then the credit cards they just paid off, the typical pattern that I’ve seen is, 18 months after refinancing their credit card debt to debt against their home, the credit cards are fully charged up again.

“So then you’ve got the double-whammy that you ate up all the equity in your home, and you still owe the credit card debt.”

Howard’s voice, though definitely on the nerdy side, carries a warmth and sincerity that seems to endear him to his listeners. If you fused comedian Jerry Seinfeld with Superman’s alter-ego, Clark Kent, you would have a rough approximation of how Howard looks.

Although he typically offers callers gentle guidance on their financial conundrums, with heavy doses of, “You may want to consider ...” or “How about trying this,” he’s also quick to point out an idea that is just plain dumb.

He accomplishes that by sounding something akin to an air raid siren. It’s a response I try, in jest, to elicit with the fictitious scenario of taking a cash advance on a credit card to invest in the stock market.

Instead of the alarm, however, there’s merely a quiet, nervous laugh.

“I did get asked that a lot during the mania of the stock market, but I haven’t heard that one in a while,” Howard says. “People were really big into that. People were borrowing money against everything to put money in the stock market. I had people who’d take houses that they owned free and clear and were taking mortgages against them to put on the hottest technology stock. Thank goodness that era is over.”

Howard said the average consumer today is continued on page 20

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continued from page 18 “petrified” of the stock market and is often confused about where to put his or her money.

“My big deal is, that you’ve got to think about when you’re going to need money.

And where you put money all depends on when you’re going to need it and what you’re going to need it for,” Howard says.

“I’ll get calls from people saying, ‘What investment can I put my money in for two years, ‘cause I want to buy a house in two years?’ And I have to explain, ‘Hey, there’s no such thing as a place you can put your money that would be safe for two years other than put it in a bank.’ And they’re so discouraged, because they want to know how they’re going to score a big score on their money in a short period of time.”

One place where Howard does like to put his money is into stock market index funds such as those offered by Vanguard and TIA-Cref.

Index funds such as these, Howard explains, offer a varied “basket” of stocks without the excessive fund management fees charged by most investment houses. Therefore, investors get diversification, without having to pay commission-like brokerage fees, he says.

But even a regular, old 401-K plan offered through the workplace is better than nothing at all, Howard says.

Howard doesn’t promise people will become millionaires, but he does promise a better retirement future if individuals would consider setting aside just 10 cents of every dollar they earn.

“I know people get a kick out of how I don’t spend money on this, that and the other, but if I can get people to think about saving a dime of every dollar they make, first, and then they can do whatever they want to with the other 90 cents, they’ll still be much better off than where they are right now,” Howard says. “The average American today saves, depending on which survey you believe, 2 cents to 4 cents of every dollar they make. And that’s average. A lot of people are saving nothing.”

Howard says it’s even more disheartening when he gets calls like the one he received the day before this interview.

“Yesterday, I had a call from a listener who was calling because she had $70,000 in credit card debt and made $50,000 a year,” Howard

“I know people get a kick out of how I don’t spend money on this, that and the other, but if I can get people to think about saving a dime of every dollar they make, first, and then they can do whatever they want to with the other 90 cents, they’ll still be much better off than where they are right now.”

— Clark Howard says. “And I get a lot of those calls, with credit card debts in the tens of thousands of dollars.”

Howard said he believes many people continue to open up new credit card accounts and max out their limits, simply because they’ve been told they can.

“I think that people feel that if they get a letter in the mail from a computer, that says, ‘You’re really wonderful and we think you should have this credit card,’ that people really feel like the computer has told them that they are A-OK to spend the money,” Howard says.

Although Howard espouses a miserly approach to consumer empowerment, his is not a rags-to-riches story.

Howard is quick to point out that he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth.

He grew up in Atlanta, the son of a wealthy family that owed much of its fortune to his grandfather’s brassiere company, which later went bankrupt.

Howard’s father had worked for the company until a falling out occurred among family members and he was forced to quit.

That’s when Howard’s outlook on money and governing one’s finances changed for the better, he says.

“I was on the complete daddy plan, and it was a great thing that happened when I had to go to work full time,” Howard recalls. “My

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parents, I learned one great lesson from them, and that was: It’s not what you make but what you save.”

After college and graduate school, Howard opened a travel agency in the Atlanta area in 1981, around the time of deregulation in the airline industry. Prior to deregulation, Howard recalls, the travel industry focused little on deals since the airlines were in lockstep and there was little room to bargain.

Howard was already ahead of the pack, having begun offering innovative travel packages specially tailored for small business groups.

“And the business just took off, and I opened office, after office, after office,” Howard says. “And in those days, the airlines paid big commissions, what were known as ‘base commissions,’ and then on top of it, they paid additional money called ‘overrides.’

So it was phenomenally profitable for me to be in the business at that time.”

In 1987, when Howard was just 31, two men approached him about buying out his travel business, which had, by that time, branched to five offices.

“And so these people bought me out,” Howard says, “and as we were finishing up the negotiations, I said, ‘You know, we never talked about what I would do (in) the new company.’ And the two guys looked at each other and then looked back at me and they

said, ‘Well, we want you to leave.’

“And so, I did. I took my money and I moved to the East Coast of Florida near St. Augustine and never intended to work again.”

However, Howard says, there were situations that arose with his family in Atlanta that merited him being closer to them.

With reluctance, he left the Florida coast and returned to what he describes as a fairly dull existence, mostly watching TV reruns.

Then, Howard got a call from a small radio talk station in Atlanta that wanted him to appear as a guest on a travel show. After subsequent guest appearances he finally took over as host.

In March of 1989, the same station was looking for a new host for a consumeroriented show called “Cover Your Assets.”

Though the general manager was skeptical of how he would do, Howard convinced him to let him give it a try.

“And I started answering the calls one hour a day; there was no staff or anything,” Howard says. “It wasn’t something I was really taking seriously and then it just mushroomed. The ratings took off. The ratings went up over 600 percent in my time slot. And that’s when I was hired away by the Cox (News Service) family to do everything on Earth for them — radio, TV and the newspaper — and I started doing continued on page 22

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continued from page 20 all that stuff in ‘91.”

Today, in addition to being syndicated on more than 100 stations throughout the country and writing a weekly column that runs Thursdays in The Atlanta JournalConstitution, Howard also oversees the operations of the Consumer Action Center, an off-air help center staffed by a staggered crew of more than 140 volunteers who are available to assist callers with financial questions, free of charge.

Howard also typically steers many of his callers to his Web site, at www.clarkhoward.com, for additional advice on a variety of topics.

Howard says he doesn’t tire of his chosen path, giving advice to hundreds of callers a week, and can’t think of anything much he’d rather be doing.

Although there was once that political thing.

That’s right. Not long ago, Howard did consider a run for mayor of Atlanta.

“Oh, I was very serious about running for mayor six years ago. The specific thing that was driving me towards running for office was because we had a corrupt administration at that time and I was really fired up about it,” Howard says. “But I don’t mention his name anymore since he’s not a public figure. I don’t need to get sued. But the former mayor, I thought, was a sleazeball and so that was really the motivation.”

Six years ago, Bill Campbell was mayor of Atlanta, and federal officials continue to investigate allegations of corruption in City Hall said to have occurred while he was in office.

Howard actually got his undergraduate degree in government from American University in Washington, D.C., and fantasized as a child about being a politician.

“When I was a young kid, I always thought I’d be governor,” Howard says. “That’s an unusual thing — not a policeman or a fireman; I thought I’d be doing Sonny Perdue’s job.”

But Howard says politics are no longer on the radar screen.

For now, he’s content to counsel conflicted consumers and write more books. A new one — “Clark’s Big Book of Bargains” — is due out this month as part of a three-book deal with Walt Disney’s publishing arm, Hyperion.

Although Howard is able to leave most callers with a sense they’ve at least been put on the right path toward getting their finances in line, he acknowledges there are always those people he simply can’t help.

Like the woman who recently called into his show, asking how she could get out of a finance contract on a car she was “upside-down” in, meaning she owed much more on the loan than the car was worth. Making matters worse, the woman had had some serious mechanical problems with the vehicle in question and

“I think that people feel that if they get a letter in the mail from a computer, that says, ‘You’re really wonderful and we think you should have this credit card,’ that people really feel like the computer has told them that they are A-OK to spend the money.”

— Clark Howard needed to purchase another car.

Howard, with frustration in his voice, told the caller the only thing she could do is continue paying on the loan and learn from her mistake.

“You know, sometimes I get discouraged when I hear somebody really getting themselves into a bind, but I don’t get tired of it,” Howard says. “If you think about baseball, a baseball player goes up to the plate and is considered a fantastic baseball player if he gets a hit one-third of the time, and so I have to remember to look at it like that.

“There are people who aren’t going to get what I’m talking about, or aren’t going to

care what I’m talking about. And then there are others who are going to benefit from it.”

At the very least, Howard says, he hopes some of his listeners learn to look at their finances a little differently. He says many in today’s society are merely rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic, as their situation continues to head for the iceberg.

Then again, Howard says, it might be a good thing some folks out there aren’t heeding his message.

“You know, if everybody did things my way, the U.S. economy would collapse,” Howard says. “Because there’d be nobody spending any money.”

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Masters Guide ®

Visitors’ Guide to the Masters II

BY RHONDA JONES AND LISA JORDAN

L

ast week was the week of celebrities. Aside from Seabiscuit, who isn’t exactly here in the flesh, we’re fresh out of celebs this week. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t a lot to do. Check it out.

The Making of a Legend There’s nothing more exciting than the triumph of an underdog. And one of the best underdog tales is that of Seabiscuit, the champion racehorse who came from meager beginnings to become one of the most beloved racers of all time.

If you don’t yet know the story of Seabiscuit, you probably want to check out the PBS “American Experience” documentary “Seabiscuit.” Aiken is one of the few locales hosting a sneak preview of the documentary, which is set to air on PBS April 21 (but check your local listings just to be sure). The Aiken sneak preview will be held April 14, a week prior to the television debut, and it promises to be a night of fun with cocktails, hors d’oeuvres and the “Seabiscuit” screening.

Seabiscuit was a household name in the 1930s, a time when watching the races was an escape from life in the Depression.

Though the horse had raced in the minor leagues until the age of 3, his straggly look, awkward gait and knee problems kept Seabiscuit on the bottom rungs of the racing world. Sold for just $8,000 to Charles Howard and trained by Tom Smith and regular jockey Red Pollard, Seabiscuit’s career took off. He earned nearly half a million dollars for Howard and defeated War Admiral, one of the East Coast’s most prized racers, in a special race in 1938.

Filmmaker Stephen Ives will be in attendance at the Aiken sneak preview. His documentary is based on the bestselling book “Seabiscuit: An American Legend” by Laura Hillenbrand.

“It really is a wonderful documentary,” says Suzie Howard, chair of the Aiken Thoroughbred Racing Hall of Fame and Museum (and no relation to Seabiscuit’s owner Charles Howard). “It is not a movie, really basically a documentary of the horse from fact and not fiction, but based somewhat on the book.”

Proceeds from ticket sales for the preview will benefit the Aiken Thoroughbred Racing Hall of Fame and Museum.

“The museum essentially was started to really focus on the horses that were trained

Thursday, April 10. Eubanks is one of Augusta’s most talented musicians. She’s been known to play everything from the mandolin to the mountain dulcimer, and all points in between.

The Soul Bar finally reopens this week, with a Thursday night show featuring Shaun Piazza and special guest Bain Mattox, as well as live reggae by Roots-A-Fire on Saturday. The Soul Bar will open at 6 p.m. during Masters Week.

For a trip back in time, check out the Masters Ballpark Bash or 1964: The Tribute, both scheduled for April 11. The Masters Ballpark Bash features performances by The Drifters, The Tams and The O’Kaysions at Lake Olmstead Stadium.

Tickets are available through www.tixonline.com or by calling (803) 278-4TIX. 1964: The Tribute pays homage to the Beatles at the Bell Auditorium. Get tickets through TicketMaster, at www.ticketmaster.com or by phone at 828-7700.

Other offerings include Playback with Tutu D’Vyne Thursday-Saturday at Surrey Tavern; Fantasy April 10-11 and Roulette with Steve Chappel April 12 at Cadillac’s on Washington Road; live reggae Sunday at the Orange Moon Café; and an April 11 performance by The Fabulous Expressions at The Lighthouse. For more music and club listings, check out Night Life on Page 41.

here in Aiken, many of which went on to be really very great horses,” Howard says. “We are now trying to make the museum more alive and trying to do a diorama and have a program for children, particularly in the summer, with horse movies and people reading from books like ‘Black Beauty’ – generally making it a more live institution.”

The Hall of Fame and Museum is located in The Carriage House at Hopeland Gardens.

It’s open to the public every afternoon.

“It really is a tiny gem which a lot of people don’t even know about,” says Howard. “We’re very lucky to have ‘Seabiscuit.’ It’s been highly acclaimed in the documentary world.”

The “Seabiscuit” sneak preview will be shown at the Washington Center for the Performing Arts in Aiken Monday, April 14.

Cocktail and hors d’oeuvres service begins

at 7 p.m., with the screening at 8 p.m.

Tickets are $50 per person and can be purchased at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken.

Call (803) 642-7650 for more information.

Musical Offerings Augusta audiences missed Athens-based songwriter Kitty Snyder’s scheduled concert at the Soul Bar last month, due to the March 5 fire that rendered the club temporarily closed. But if you’re still looking to check out the pairing of Snyder’s subtle vocal performance and her mood-driven melodies, you’re in luck. Snyder will be performing at The Bee’s Knees April 12.

Shaun Piazza will be performing at The Bee’s Knees that night, as well.

The Bee’s Knees will also host Eryn Eubanks and The Fold this week, on

Art at The Bee’s Knees Not only does The Bee’s Knees have all kinds of musical happenings going on, but it’s introducing artist John Guanlao to the Augusta art scene as well. The Augusta State University student hung his senior exhibition April 4, First Friday.

The first thing you will likely notice about Guanlao’s work, aside from the great, big nude woman directly across from the front door, is the mixture of Christian and Greek mythological imagery. The nude is actually Guanlao’s take on Botticelli’s “The Birth of Venus,” with soft, earthy colors. It’s also a huge, three-paneled undertaking at 11 feet by 6 feet.

Yep, feet. It’s huge.

“Allegory of Air” is a watercolor on paper, and is a bright, near-psychedelic image, also with a female figure, at 22 inches by 33 inches.

“Pan Chasing Nymph” is positioned in front of the bar, right smack-dab next to “Saint Veronica,” who, according to the continued on page 26

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Abbeville director Michael Genevie’s description of “Under the Yum-Yum Tree” can give one the impression that the play was a little naughty in the late ‘50s/early ‘60s in the sense that something like “Three’s Company” was naughty in the ‘70s.

(For those of you who don’t remember much about that one, the humor was completely dependent on the fact that John Ritter’s character Jack had to pretend he was gay so he could room with two young, single girls.)

The play involves a landlord who only rents to beautiful young women.

Mmm-hmm.

tenets of Christianity, wiped Christ’s face with a cloth, which was subsequently imprinted with his image.

There is also a series involving that image, titled “I Am.” We asked Guanlao about his use of mythical imagery, and whether it is representative of his work as a whole.

“It is right now,” he said. “This is just a thesis that I made for my senior exhibition.”

It is difficult to remember, looking at Guanlao’s work, that he is still a student.

“In my statement I was saying in times of crisis, spiritual crisis, religious iconography appears.

Kind of like the Lady of Guadalupe.”

The Lady of Guadalupe is a vision of the Virgin Mary that has appeared to people over the centuries.

He presented that statement to The Metropolitan Spirit under the heading “My Offering...” Here is the text.

“Due to recent disasters, conflicts and harmful propaganda, exploited by our country’s media scape, I believe the current state of humanity needs help to heal and rebuild (perhaps by a rebirth of Spirit). This exhibition offers a visual antidote to oppose the frightening current events. I am exploring the positiveness of traditional imagery that inspired the Age of Enlightenment such as Christian iconography, theology and mythology. With my theme, I am searching for the Spirit by addressing the subEryn Eubanks (pictured, top) and Kitty Snyder tle nuances to air and space, (pictured, right) play at The Bee’s Knees this weekend. mythological anomalies in timelessness, and the “The story starts out just as one young Christian mystic experience.” woman, Irene, is moving out of the We asked him about his inspiration. “It’s apartment and her niece Robin is taking hard to say. It could be a nice day outside. It over the lease.” can be a nice piece of philosophy, a lecture And of course, Genevie says, the in class, a model I choose for a painting.” landlord, Hogan, has apparently had He would like to do some work around affairs with all of them. town before heading off into the great “Irene is a little bit worried that unknown. “Hopefully I can do a few Hogan might start to put the moves on murals around town before I go off to her young niece Robin. She warns him grad school. But I’m definitely going to about that as a security measure. Irene grad school soon. talks Robin’s boyfriend Dave into “Right now, I am planning to do an on-site moving in – on a purely platonic level painting at the Soul Bar when they reopen.”

– just for the summer.”

That is definitely a mouthful. But you know Dave and Robin have been talking what they say about a picture, so if you would about getting married and so this situlike to gaze at the equivalent to a few thouation provides an opportunity for the sand words, and get your mind off things, couple to see if they are compatible. then head on over to The Bee’s Knees. The (He’s sleeping on a cot, so don’t even exhibit will be up until April 29. For info call go there.

Genevie said that, by today’s stan(706) 828-3600. dards, it’s cute and wholesome.)

“It’s just a very lighthearted, very fun, Formerly Risqué Plays delightful way to close the season here at This weekend, The Abbeville Opera the Opera House,” Genevie said. “Needless House and Aiken Community Playhouse to say, everything ends happily ever after, will have something in common – besides with Hogan and Irene and Dave and Robin the fact that they both sort of begin with ‘A’ getting together.” and end in ‘house.’ They are producing forBut these days, there’s nothing there that merly risqué plays, “Under the Yum-Yum would harm the virgin eyes and ears of chilTree” and Tennessee Williams’ “A Streetcar dren.

“There’s certainly nothing as racy or Named Desire,” respectively. risqué as you would see on primetime televi-

sion today,” Genevie said. “I don’t even think we’d call this a PG-13. You wouldn’t want anybody younger than 10, simply because they probably wouldn’t be as interested in the story. But there’s nothing there to offend them or anyone.”

“Under the Yum-Yum Tree” runs Friday and Saturday nights at 8 p.m. from April 11-26. In addition, there will be Saturday matinee performances at 3 p.m. on April 12 and 19.

Tickets are $15 for adults and $14 for seniors over 65. Make reservations with accepted credit cards or call the Opera House Box Office at (864) 459-2157 Monday through Friday from 1-5 p.m.

And then we have “A Streetcar Named Desire.”

According to director Phil Porter, who is also president of the Aiken Community Playhouse, this is a much darker piece than “Under the Yum-Yum Tree.”

As if the titles wouldn’t tell you that.

“Streetcar” is set in 1947 Louisiana and deals with issues like domestic violence, insanity and promiscuity.

“It created quite a stir upon its original opening. It was considered quite a departure from traditional theatre.”

Stanley, apparently, is not exactly the world’s nicest guy.

“We’ve been talking quite a

bit amongst the staff,” Porter said. “He has a lot of trouble with anger management.”

Asked how much of a challenge a character like Stanley is for his actor, Porter said that Stanley isn’t the only challenging role in the play.

“I think all the characters in this show are probably quite difficult for the actors. It takes a lot of intellectual reserve.”

He said that Stanley and Stella are considered some of the premiere characters for a theatre actor.

“That’s one reason we did it,” he said. “We like to balance our season with things which are challenging as well.”

It wasn’t apparent within the context, however, what Porter meant by that – whether he was speaking of challenging the actors or challenging the viewers, because a story like “Streetcar” carries the potential of challenging everyone who is even remotely involved with it.

Take Blanche Dubois, for instance, whom Porter calls a “classic character.”

“Her past has driven her to a series of empty liaisons,” Porter said. “She had married a young man who committed suicide and this has affected her ever since. And all this is played against the backdrop of post-World War II New Orleans, with jazz booming, and life looking really good for the country.

“It’s not looking really good for Blanche Dubois.”

He said that the draw of a story like “A Streetcar Named Desire” is not that it condones the behavior of its troubled cast of characters, but that it illuminates the processes that created them.

“How people can become ... What first appears so incomprehensible in people’s behavior, once you begin to ... not condone but begin to understand how they have come to the circumstances they have come to, the forces that play in their lives ... in our lives, I should say...”

Porter calls the play “a bit dark,” but adds that it does have its humorous moments.

“It’s a good intellectual exercise and considered a stunning evening of theatre when performed successfully, and I certainly hope we will.”

He said that, though “A Streetcar Named Desire” is tamer than the movies of today, and perhaps tamer than many programs on television, in 1947, people were wondering how “such things” could be staged.

Despite the discrepancy, however, he said, patrons should be aware that there is some strong language and mature subject matter.

“A Streetcar Named Desire” opens Friday, April 11, and runs Fridays and Saturdays through April 26 at 8 p.m. There is a 3 p.m. matinee on Sunday, April 13. Performances are held at The Washington Center for the Performing Arts at 124 Newberry Street in Aiken, S.C. For directions and other info, call (803) 648-1438.

If these particular events don’t tickle your fancy, then check out our events calendar, 8 Days a Week, on Page 28 and our Night Life calendar, Page 41.

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M E T R O

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8

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Arts

Auditions AUDITIONS FOR THE MISSOULA CHILDREN’S THEATRE PRODUCTION OF “ALICE IN WONDERLAND” held April 21, 4:30-6:30 p.m. at For t Gordon Youth Services, Building 45410. Par ticipation is open to the public, and students in grades K-12 are encouraged to at tend. All adults must have a photo ID to gain access to For t Gordon, and all vehicles not registered on For t Gordon must enter through Gate 1 on Gordon Highway. “Alice in Wonderland” per formances will be April 26, 4 and 7 p.m. For information on the Missoula Children’s Theatre International Tour Project, visit www.mctinc.org/frametour.htm. You may also contact Paul Holcomb at For t Gordon Youth Services, 791-4446.

“JOSEPH AND THE AMAZING TECHNICOLOR DREAMCOAT” will be presented by the Augusta Players Youth Theatre in cooperation with the Children’s Wing. Auditions will be held April 19, 1 p.m., and April 22, 7 p.m., in the gym of Crossbridge Baptist Church on Skinner Mill Road. Roles available for youngsters ages 13-18; please come with a prepared solo from the show. Accompanist provided. Chorus roles available to children 6-12; audition material will be provided. For info, call 826-4707 or visit www.augustaplayers.com.

FINAL AUDITIONS FOR THE PLAYER’S SHOWCASE AND OTHELLO April 14-15, 6-9:30 p.m. at the Hangnail Gallery.

Actors must bring two monologues and singers must bring two songs to per form. Auditions are held by appointment only, so interested par ties should contact Jonathan Marcantoni at 364-5047 or e-mail EternalNothing@hotmail.com.

AUGUSTA CHILDREN’S CHORALE AUDITIONS for training and performance choirs open to children in grades 3-8. Auditions held May 3. Call 826-4718 to schedule an audition appointment.

AUGUSTA CONCERT BAND rehearses Monday evenings and is looking to fill vacancies on most band instruments.

Interested par ties should contact Ben Easter, (803) 2020091 or e-mail bandforaugusta@aol.com.

SWEET ADELINES PEACH STATE CHORUS OPEN REHEARSAL for singers each Thursday at 7 p.m. Held at 600 Mar tintown Road in Nor th Augusta. There will be no rehearsal the week of Masters. They are on the lookout for voices in the lower ranges. Contact Mildred Blain at 7367740 or Mary Norman at (803) 279-6499.

Education SPRING ACTING CLASSES begin at Augusta Theatre Company the week of April 21. Courses for teens and adults offered in scene study, audition prep, voice and movement and intro to acting. For more information, call 481-9040.

ART CLASSES AND WORKSHOPS are offered year-round at the Ger trude Herber t Institute of Ar t. Classes and workshops are open to toddlers through adults and feature instruction in drawing, painting, photography, pot tery, weaving and sculpture. For a newslet ter or detailed information on registering for classes at the Ger trude Herber t, call 722-5495. The

Ger trude Herber t Institute of Ar t also offers Educational Tours; for information, contact the Education Director at the above telephone number.

ART CLASSES FOR CHILDREN AND ADULTS at the Art Factory. The Art Factory also has a homeschool program and scholarships are available. Available programs include voice lesson and pantomime workshops, as well as classes in dance, theater, music, visual arts and writing. Call 731-0008 for details.

CERAMICS CLASSES at the Weeks Center Ceramics House in Aiken. Fees include one class per week and students can choose any class time: Mondays, 9 a.m. to noon or 6-9 p.m.; Tuesdays, 6-9 p.m.; or Wednesdays, 9 a.m. to noon. $30 per month. Call (803) 642-7631 for info.

USC-AIKEN MUSIC CONSERVATORY PROGRAM now open.

Students of all ages and experience levels welcome. Private lessons available for musical instruments and voice; instructors are USC-Aiken faculty and have at least a master’s degree in their per formance area. (803) 641-3288.

Exhibitions DAVIDSON FINE ARTS SCHOOL SENIOR EXIT SHOW April 15-May 8 at the Ger trude Herber t Institute of Ar t.

Opening reception is April 22, 3:30-6 p.m. at the Ger trude Herber t. For more information, call 8236924, ex t. 153.

“PAINTING THE GREENS, SINGING THE BLUES” solo exhibition by ar tist and musician George Grif fith will be on display at the Arnold Gallery in Aiken. Opening reception is April 10, 6-9 p.m., and the exhibit will be on display through April 23. For more information, contact Lynn Wyman at (803) 502-1100.

“TRADITIONAL IMAGERY FOR A POST-MODERN WORLD” senior exhibition by John Guanlao through April 29 at The Bee’s Knees. For information, call 828-3600.

ART BY STUDENTS OF M. HAUSER, instructor at Aquinas High School, will be on display at the Friedman Branch Library throughout April. 736-6758.

THE WORK OF TOM NAKASHIMA is on display at the Ger trude Herber t Institute of Ar t April 22-June 6.

Gallery talk and ar tist reception April 25, 6-8 p.m., is open to the public and is free to Ger trude Herber t members, $5 for non-members. 722-5495.

PHOTOGR APHY BY JIM BLAYLOCK is up at the Euchee Creek Library during April. 556-0594.

ASU SENIOR EXIT SHOW is on exhibit at the Ger trude Herber t Institute of Ar t April 22-May 16. Tobya Negash, Nicole Nor th and Raymond Sturkey display works. Ar tists’ reception April 25, 6-8 p.m., in conjunction with the Tom Nakashima reception; free for GHIA members and $5 for non-members. 722-5495.

OIL PAINTINGS BY CINDY EPPS on display at the Gibbs Library throughout April. Call 863-1946.

“JAPONISME: THE INFLUENCE OF JAPANESE ART IN THE SOUTH” exhibit will be on display at the Morris Museum of Ar t through May 11. 724-7501.

Catch Sugarland at the Atlanta Dogwood Festival, which will be held April 11-13 at Piedmont Park in Atlanta.

“COMICAL STROKES: A GOLF CARTOON SAMPLER” special exhibition at the Augusta Museum of History through April 20. The exhibit is located in the Special Exhibition Gallery on the second floor. 722-8454.

EXHIBITION BY ANNIE GREENE through April 30 at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum of Black History. Call 724-3576 for information.

“OPTICAL ILLUSIONS 2 — YOU STILL WON’T BELIEVE YOUR EYES” on display in the Knox Gallery at For t Discovery through May 11. 821-0200.

PAINTINGS BY JANE NODINE will be on display at USCAiken’s Lower Gallery through May 30. (803) 641-3305.

USCA STUDENT ART SHOW in the Upper Gallery at USC-Aiken’s Etherredge Center through May 5. For information, call (803) 641-3305.

ROBERT BAZEMORE JR. AND ART ROSENBAUM EXHIBITION through April 19 at Mary Pauline Gallery.

For information, call 724-9542.

“WALKING THE LOG: PAINTINGS BY BESSIE NICKENS” exhibit will be at the Morris Museum of Ar t through May 18. For more information, call 724-7501.

MARTHA SIMKINS SPECIAL EXHIBITION at the Morris Museum of Ar t through April 20. Call the museum at 7247501 for more information.

Dance THE AUGUSTA INTERNATIONAL FOLK DANCE CLUB meets Thursday evenings at 7:30 p.m. No par tners are needed and newcomers are welcome. Line and circle dances are taught.

For location information, call 737-6299.

SECOND SATURDAY DANCE at the Ballroom Dance Center, 225 Grand Slam Drive in Evans, held the second Saturday of every month, 7:30-11 p.m. Dress is casual. Tickets are $10 per person. 854-8888.

AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF THE UNITED STATES AMATEUR

BALLROOM DANCERS ASSOCIATION holds a dance the first Saturday of each month, from 7:15 to 11 p.m. Cost is $7 for members and $10 for non-members. Held at the BPOE Facility on Elkdom Cour t. Contact Melvis Lovet t, 733-3890, or Jean Avery, 863-4186, for information.

SQUARE DANCE CLASSES: Intermediate classes run April 14-June 16. Call (803) 642-7631 for more information.

CSRA/AUGUSTA BOGEY-WOOGIE DANCE AND SOCIAL GROUP holds a monthly dance every third Saturday of the month, star ting at 7:30 p.m. There are also meetings every Sunday at 4 p.m. at the Salsa Ruedo Casino and every Wednesday at 7:45 p.m. Men are especially encouraged to at tend. For information, phone 650-2396 or 736-3878.

SINGLES DANCE each Saturday night from 8-11 p.m. sponsored by the Christian Social Organization for Single Adults.

Held at Westside High School. Tickets $5 for members, $7 for non-members, and are available at the door. For more information, contact Doris Heath, 736-3376.

Music MASTERWORKS CHOR ALE CONCERT April 22, 8 p.m., at USC-Aiken’s Etherredge Center. For more information, call (803) 641-3305.

MASTERS BALLPARK BASH featuring The Drif ters, The Tams and The O’Kaysions April 11, 7:30 p.m., at Lake Olmstead Stadium. Tickets are $10 in advance and $15 the day of the show. VIP tables for six available for $150. Call (803) 278-4TIX or visit www.tixonline.com.

1964: THE TRIBUTE Beatles tribute band to per form April 11, 8 p.m., at the Bell Auditorium. Tickets are $26 adult and $16 child for the floor and first balcony and $21 adult and $16 child for second and third balcony.

Tickets are available through TicketMaster, online at www.ticketmaster.com or by phone at 828-7700.

UNIVERSITY CONCERT CHOIR “JAZZ HOT” per formance at USC-Aiken’s Etherredge Center April 15.

Concer t begins at 8 p.m. Tickets are $10 for adults and $5 for students. For information, call (803) 641-3305.

COMMUNITY HEALING MEDITATION DRUMMING CIRCLE hosted every third Monday of the month by IDRUM2U, the Not Gaddy Drumming Studio. Held 7-9 p.m. at the G.L. Jackson Conference Center, 1714 Nor th Leg Cour t. Fee is $5 or a donation of canned goods for the Golden Harvest Food Bank. All are welcome and drums will be available to rent. For info, phone the Not Gaddy Drumming Studio, 228-3200.

Theater

Museums

“TERR A COGNITA: CONTEMPOR ARY VISUAL EXPRESSIONS IN THE SOUTH — 40 YEARS WITH HERB JACKSON” slide presentation and meet-thear tist reception April 24, 6 p.m. at the Morris Museum of Ar t. Admission is $3 for adults, $2 for seniors, students and the military and free for museum members and ASU faculty and students. 724-7501.

“SALUTE TO BROADWAY” production by the Harlem High School Drama Department April 24-25. For more information, visit www.harlemdrama.com or call 556-5980.

MASTERWORKS OF SOUTHERN ART AND MARTHA SIMKINS EXHIBITION TOURS 10:30 a.m. through April 12 and 2 p.m. April 13 at the Morris Museum of Ar t. 724-7501.

“DRIVING MISS DAISY” is a joint production by the Washington Lit tle Theatre Company and the Olde Lincoln Town Players. Held April 11-13 at The Playhouse and April 19-20 at Lincoln County High School. Tickets are $8. Friday and Saturday per formances are at 8 p.m.; Sunday per formances are 3 p.m. matinees. Make reservations by calling 678-9582.

SPRING STORYTELLING EXTR AVAGANZA at the Morris Museum of Ar t April 19 and May 3. The Tellers of Two Cities present a Saturday morning spring story telling series at 10:30 a.m. April 19 story teller is Lynn Jaf fe. Free for members, $3 for adults and $2 for seniors, students and the military; children under 6 free with adult. Call 724-7501 for more information.

“LOOT” will be presented by Augusta Theatre Company April 18-20, 24-26 and May 1-3. Tickets are $10-$15 for adults and $10 for seniors and students.

For more information, call 481-9040.

THE GERTRUDE HERBERT INSTITUTE OF ART in Ware’s Folly exhibits works by local and regional ar tists. Ar t classes, workshops and other educational programming for children, youth and adults are held in the Walker-Mackenzie Studio. Ware’s Folly galleries open Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Thursday, 10 a.m.-7 p.m.; and Saturday by appointment only. The Walker-Mackenzie Studio gallery is open Tuesday-Friday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Admission is free, but a donation of $2 for adults and $1 for children and seniors is encouraged. Call 722-5495 for more info.

“UNDER THE YUM YUM TREE” at the Abbeville Opera House April 11-12, 18-19 and 25-26, with matinees on April 12 and 19. Tickets are $15 for adults and $14 for seniors ages 65 and up. For reservations, call the Abbeville Opera House box of fice at (864) 459-2157.

“A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE” will be per formed at the Washington Center for the Per forming Ar ts in Aiken April 11-13, 18-19 and 25-26. Friday and Saturday per formances are at 8 p.m.; April 13 Sunday matinee is at 3 p.m. Call the Aiken Community Playhouse at (803) 648-1438 to reserve tickets.

Attractions THE BOYHOOD HOME OF WOODROW WILSON: Circa 1859 Presbyterian manse occupied by the family of President Woodrow Wilson as a child during the Civil War and Reconstruction. Original and period antiques, restored house, kitchen and carriage house. 419 Seventh Street.

Open 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Tues.-Sat. Tours available; groups of 10 or more by appointment only. Admission is $5 adults, $4 seniors, $3 students under 18 and free for ages five and under. 722-9828.

AUGUSTA GOLF & GARDENS OF THE GEORGIA GOLF HALL OF FAME features beautiful display gardens, as well as bronze sculptures of some of golf’s greatest masters.

Available for rent for a variety of functions. Group discount rates available. Closed Mondays; open from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Tues.-Sat.; open from 1 to 5 p.m. on Sunday. New spring and summer hours begin March 21: open Tues.-Sat. 9 a.m.9 p.m. and Sundays 11 a.m.-7 p.m. Admission is $5.50 for adults; $4.50 for students, seniors and military; $3.50 for children (4 to 12); free for children 3 and under. Sundays are two for one with a Super Sunday coupon. Annual garden memberships are available. Call 724-4443 or 1-888-8744443. Also, visit their Web site at www.gghf.org.

NATIONAL SCIENCE CENTER’S FORT DISCOVERY: Children and adults alike can immerse themselves in the wonders of science through live demonstrations, vir tual realities, Starlab, KidScape and more than 250 hands-on exhibits.

General Admission: $8 for adults; $6 for children, seniors and active military. Group rates available. Operating hours: Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sunday, noon-5 p.m. Call 8210200, 1-800-325-5445 or visit their Web site at www.NationalScienceCenter.org.

REDCLIFFE STATE HISTORIC SITE: 1859 mansion of S.C. Governor James Henry Hammond, held by the family for three generations until 1975. Hours are 9 a.m.-6 p.m., Thursday-Monday on the grounds. House tours are noon-3 p.m. by appointment. Closed Tuesday and Wednesday.

Admission to the grounds is free. Fee for house tours is $3 for adults and children ages 6 to 17. For more information, call (803) 827-1473. 181 Redcliffe Road, Beech Island.

SACRED HEART CULTURAL CENTER is offering tours of its 100-year-old building. Mon.-Fri., 9 a.m.-5 p.m. $1 per person, children free. 826-4700.

HISTORIC COTTON EXCHANGE WELCOME CENTER: Open Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m.; Sun. 1-5 p.m. Riverwalk. Free.

724-4067.

THE EZEKIEL HARRIS HOUSE: Deemed “the finest 18th century house surviving in Georgia” by the “Smithsonian Guide to Historic America.” Open Saturday, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. General admission is $2; senior admission is $1 and children get in for 50 cents. For more information, call 724-0436.

THE AUGUSTA MUSEUM OF HISTORY hosts permanent exhibition “Augusta’s Story,” an award-winning exhibit encompassing 12,000 years of local history.

For the younger crowd, there’s the Susan L. Still Children’s Discovery Gallery, where kids can learn about history in a hands-on environment. The museum also shows films in the History Theatre and hosts a variety of programs. Located at 560 Reynolds Street. Open Tuesday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sunday 1-5 p.m. Admission is $4 adult, $3 seniors, $2 kids (6-18 years of age) and free for children under 6. Free admission on Sundays. Call 722-8454 or visit www.augustamuseum.org for more information.

Aiken Community Playhouse

Tennessee Williams’

Happy Easter Teleflora’s Peter Rabbit™ Teatime Bouquet A ceramic teapot starring the Irrepressible Peter Rabbit™ - painted.

405 Shartom Drive, Augusta 706-868-9318 www.ladybugsflowers.com Augusta Business Center behind Applebee's on Washington Rd.

Directed by Phil Porter Show Dates/Times: 8:00 p.m.

April 11, 12, 18, 19, 25, & 26 Matinee Sunday April 13th at 3 p.m.

Location: The Washington Center For the Performing Arts 124 Newberry St. Aiken, SC 29801 Reservations (803) Tue.-Fri. 9am to 2pm Tue.-Thur. 7 to 9p.m.

What a Catch!

Now Celebrating Our 50th Year in Augusta Voted Best Seafood Catfish Hush Puppies 3416 Mike Padgett Hwy (Bobby Jones to Exit 9, then South on Hwy 56)

THE MORRIS MUSEUM OF ART hosts exhibitions and special events year-round. Open Tuesday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sundays, noon-5 p.m. Closed on Mondays and major holidays. 1 Tenth Street, Augusta.

Call 724-7501 or visit www.themorris.org for details.

THE MUSEUM OF LAUREL AND HARDY OF HARLEM, GEORGIA features displays of various Laurel and Hardy memorabilia; films also shown. Located at 250 N. Louisville Street in downtown Harlem. Open 1-4 p.m.

Thursday-Monday. For more information, call 556-3448.

LUNCH AT NOON LECTURE SERIES held the second Wednesday of every month at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum of Black History, 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Call the museum at 724-3576 for more information.

Special Events

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Some of Golf's Greatest Masters have found a new home in Augusta, Georgia...

SPECIAL Masters Week Hours!

Saturday, April 5, 2003 through Monday, April 14, 2003 The Gardens will be open from 9 a.m. until 11 p.m.

EARTH DAY AUGUSTA 2003 April 19 at the Phinizy Swamp Nature Park. Activities include a Swamp Stomp 5K run, beginning at 8 a.m., and open house, exhibits, tours and more from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Free. 828-2109.

EASTER VIOLET HUNT African violet show and sale April 1819 at the Augusta Mall. Special class open to local African violet growers. For more information, call Sharon Miles at 5924274 or Lynn Andrews-Woodward at 860-8289.

“AROUND THE DAY IN 80 WORLDS” FOREIGN FILM FESTIVAL at USC-Aiken. “No Man’s Land” will be shown at 6 p.m.

April 22 and 25. Tickets are $2 for the public and free to students, faculty and staff. Call (803) 641-3448 for info.

WILD TURKEY SUPER FUND MEMBERSHIP BANQUET April 24 at Julian Smith Casino. Hosted by the Augusta chapter of the National Wild Turkey Federation. Doors open at 6 p.m. with dinner service at 7:30 p.m. Tickets available at the door.

Live and silent auctions, raffles and more will also be featured. For information, e-mail travisp26@yahoo.com.

SNEAK PREVIEW OF “SEABISCUIT” DOCUMENTARY April 14 at the Washington Center for the Performing Ar ts in Aiken.

Cocktail and hors d’oeuvres served at 7 p.m. with sneak preview beginning at 8 p.m. Tickets are $50 per person and all proceeds go to the Aiken Thoroughbred Racing Hall of Fame.

Purchase tickets through the H.O. Weeks Center at 1700 Whiskey Rd. or call (803) 642-7650.

AUGUSTA CANAL INTERPRETIVE CENTER GRAND OPENING: On April 18 at 10 a.m., the center will open its doors to

Experience the beauty of over 8 acres of display gardens featuring larger-than-life bronze sculptures of some of golf's greatest masters such as Arnold Palmer at the Pergola Towers, Jack Nicklaus on the Green by the 18 foot waterfall, Bobby Jones in the Quad… just to name a few!!

One Eleventh Street Augusta, Georgia 30901

www.gghf.org

706-724-4443 888-874-4443

29 M E T R O S P I R I T A P R 1 0 2 0 0 3

the public. The center is also open Masters week for a sneak 30 preview.

Housed in Enterprise Mill, the center contains displays ®

Health

and models focusing on the Augusta Canal’s functions and impor tance to the tex tile industry. Hours are Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m. and Sun., 1-6 p.m. Admission is $5 adult, $4 seniors and military and $3 children ages 6-18. Children under 6 admit ted free. The center will waive admissions fees for April 26 community get-acquainted day. For information, S visit www.augustacanal.com or call 823-0440.

M E T R O

“CHANGE! WHO’S IN CONTROL?” FREE HEALTH EDUCATION COURSE at the Life Learning Center April 24, 2:30 p.m. Class addresses changes in feelings, thoughts, emotions, behavior and personality. To register, call 731-7275, ext. 7989.

P I PROGRESSIVE FILM SERIES dedicated to screening controR versial and provocative films Fridays, 5 p.m. in Room E150 of I T Allgood Hall at Augusta State University. For more information,

COPING SKILLS GROUP FOR WOMEN SUFFERING FROM CHRONIC PELVIC PAIN is a 12-week program to help women effectively manage chronic pelvic pain. Begins in mid-April at MCG. For more info, contact Lara Stepleman or Erin Elfant at 721-7969.

e-mail progfilm@hotmail.com.

A P MASTERS GALA 2003 features a musical performance by Jim R Belushi and The Sacred Hear ts. The gala benefits For t

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS: If you want to stop using any drugs, there is a way out. Help is available at no cost. Call the Narcotics Anonymous help line for information and meeting schedules at 855-2419.

Discovery and will be held April 10, 9 p.m., at the Bell

1 Auditorium. Corporate tables include a reception and a meet0 and-greet session with Belushi; reserved balcony seating is

also available. For more details, call 821-0607 or visit

2 0 www.NationalScienceCenter.org.

0 3 PEACE VIGIL every Saturday until U.S. troops come home,

DIET COUNSELING CLASSES for diabetics and those with high cholesterol at CSRA Par tners in Health, 1220 Augusta West Parkway. Free. Call 860-3001 for class schedule.

noon-2 p.m. at the corner of Wrightsboro and Walton Way Ex t., near the Army Reserve Office. For more information, contact Denice Traina, 736-4738.

AT AUGUSTA GOLF AND GARDENS: special ex tended hours, 9 a.m.-11 p.m. through April 14. Ear th Day Garden Seminar Series is 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m. April 22 with a brown bag lunch presentation on water gardening; free admission. Call 7244443 for details.

APRIL FILM SERIES Tuesdays, 6:30 p.m. at Headquar ters Library. April 15 showing of “Wonder Boys”; April 22 showing of “Sunset Boulevard”; April 29 showing of “Straw Dogs.”

Free admission. 821-2600.

FREE TAX ASSISTANCE AND TAX PREPAR ATION at Volunteer Income Ta x Assistance sites throughout Augusta. Contact the Mayor’s Of fice for Work force Development at 821-1834.

2003 CULLUM LECTURE SERIES at Augusta State University: The title of this year’s series is “Frontiers in Motion: U.S.-Latin American and Caribbean Borderlands.” On April 15, Elaine Lacey speaks on “South Carolina’s Hispanic Population: A New Transnational Community?” On April 22, ASU history and anthropology depar tment faculty present “Agronomy and Revolution in Mexico, 1880-1994.”

Programs held at 11:30 a.m. and 7 p.m. in Butler Lecture Hall. For more information, visit www.aug.edu/library/cullum2003 or call 737-1444.

MCDUFFIE FRIENDS OF ANIMALS holds pet adoptions each Saturday, 1-3 p.m. at Superpetz on Bobby Jones Expressway. Call 556-9090 or visit www.pet finder.com.

COLUMBIA COUNTY HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. and every Sunday from 1 to 4 p.m. at PetsMar t. For more info, call 860-5020.

RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL AND AUGUSTA ANIMAL RESCUE FRIENDS holds pet adoptions at Superpetz off Bobby Jones Expressway every Sunday from 1 to 4 p.m.

Call AARF at 364-4747 or visit www.aar f.net. Adoptions also held at the Richmond County Animal Control Shelter, Tues. through Sun., 1-5 p.m. Call the shelter at 790-6836.

THE CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. and every Wednesday evening from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. at the Pet Center located behind the GreenJackets Stadium on Milledge Rd. 261-PETS.

Out of Town

“THE CRUCIBLE” will be per formed by the University of South Carolina Theatre Depar tment April 18-27 at Drayton Hall. Tickets are $12 general admission, $10 for USC faculty, staff, senior citizens and the military, $9 for students and $7 each for groups of 10 or more. Purchase tickets by phone at (803) 777-2551.

SOUTHLAND JUBILEE April 12, 9 a.m.-5 p.m. in Greensboro, Ga., features juried ar ts and crafts market, juried fine ar ts show, tour of homes and landmarks, living history interpreters, live enter tainment, parade and more. For info, call the Greene County Chamber of Commerce, 1-800-886-LAKE. “SALOMÉ,” by Oscar Wilde, will be at The New American Shakespeare Tavern in Atlanta April 18-May 10. Late-night per formances are at 11 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays. The show is intended for adult audiences only. Tickets are $15.

For reservations or information, call (404) 874-5299 or visit www.shakespearetavern.com.

“WONDER OF THE WORLD” will be performed at the Woodruff Ar ts Center in Atlanta April 10-20. To purchase tickets, call (404) 733-5000 or visit www.alliancetheatre.org.

ATLANTA DOGWOOD FESTIVAL April 11-13 at Piedmont Park in Atlanta. Live music, ar tist market, Disc Dog Southern Nationals, kids’ village and more will be featured. Admission is free to the public. For information, visit

The Washington Little Theatre Company and the Olde Lincoln Town Players present “Driving Miss Daisy” April 11-13 at The Playhouse and April 19-20 at Lincoln County High School. Call 678-9582. www.dogwood.org or call (404) 329-0501.

FOXHALL FLOWER SHOW AND FOXHALL CUP April 17-20 at Foxhall Farm in Douglasville, Ga. Tickets are $20 adult, $15 senior, and free for children 12 and under. Tickets are available online at www.ticketmaster.com or by phone at 828-7700.

HARDEEVILLE (S.C.) MOTOR SPEEDWAY 2003 RACING SCHEDULE is April 12 and 26, May 3 and 24, June 7 and 21, July 12 and 26 and Aug. 9, 16 and 30. For information, call (843) 784-RACE. “CRIMES OF THE HEART” will be presented by the Alliance Theatre Company on the Alliance Stage in Atlanta through April 20. Tickets are $17-$46; $10 tickets available for those under 25 years of age. Call (404) 733-5000 or visit www.alliancetheatre.org.

“CLEMENT GREENBERG: A CRITIC’S COLLECTION” is on display at the Columbia Museum of Ar t in Columbia, S.C., through June 17. (803) 799-2810.

“A RAISIN IN THE SUN” through April 13 at Class Act Theatre in Mariet ta, Ga. For tickets, call (770) 579-3156.

“WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE: MAURICE SENDAK IN HIS OWN WORDS AND PICTURES” exhibit at the Richland County Public Library in Columbia, S.C., through May 18.

(803) 799-9084.

THE HIGH MUSEUM OF ART’S FOLK ART AND PHOTOGRAPH GALLERIES host two exhibitions through Aug. 9: “Land of Myth and Memory: Clarence John Laughlin and Photographers of the South” and “Faces and Places: Picturing the Self in Self-Taught Ar t.” Call (404) 577-6940.

“FOR THIS WORLD AND BEYOND: AFRICAN ART FROM THE FRED AND RITA RICHMAN COLLECTION” through May 25 at the High Museum of Ar t in Atlanta.

Call (404) 733-HIGH or visit www.high.org for info.

Benefits ALZHEIMER’S ASSOCIATION AUGUSTA REGIONAL OFFICE GOLF TOURNAMENT April 22, 1 p.m., at The River golf club. For information on how to register, call 731-9060.

MILLION DOLLAR SHOOTOUT FOR ANIA to help defray transplant-related medical expenses for a local child. Held April 19, 10 a.m. at the Forrest Hills Golf Club. Tickets are $10. For more information, call 840-6698.

DERBY DAY KENTUCKY DERBY PARTY May 3, 3-7 p.m., to raise money for the Augusta Training Shop for the Handicapped. The Kentucky Derby will be televised on big screens, and live enter tainment, raffles, a fashionable hat contest and more will be featured. Tickets are $30 per person. For more information, visit www.augustatrainingshop.com or call 738-1358.

“AN EVENING WITH ELVIS” concer t to benefit the American Cancer Society. Held at Harlem High School’s Auditorium April 12, 7 p.m. Tickets are $5 in advance or $7 at the door.

For advance tickets, call 556-6979.

APPLICATIONS FOR THE 2003 COMBINED FEDERAL CAMPAIGN will be accepted from nonprofit, human health and welfare agencies with 501c(3) ta x-exempt status through

April 14. Selected local agencies will receive donations raised Sept.1-Oct. 15 by federal employees. For applications, call 724-5544 or e-mail bend@uwcsra.org.

AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL is in need of dog and cat food, cat lit ter and other pet items, as well as monetary donations to help pay for vaccinations.

Donations accepted during regular business hours, Tues.Sun., 1-5 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Call 7906836 for information.

SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER BLOOD DRIVES in various locations around the CSRA this month. The blood center is urging people of all blood types to donate in order to combat a blood supply shor tage. For detailed information on locations and times to donate, visit www.shepeardblood.org. You may also call Susan Edwards at (803) 6437996 for information on Aiken locations and Nancy Szocinski at 737-4551 for information on all other locations.

AMERICAN RED CROSS BLOOD DRIVES at the Aiken Red Cross Blood Center on Millbrook Drive and the Augusta Red Cross Blood Center on Pleasant Home Road. The bloodmobile will also stop at various area locations this week. For a complete list, call the Aiken Blood Center at (803) 642-5180 or the Augusta Blood Center at 868-8800.

Learning INTRODUCTION TO MICROSOFT WORD course April 23, 6:30-7:30 p.m. at the Gibbs Library. Space is limited; registration required. 863-1946.

BEGINNERS E-MAIL CLASS April 16, 6:30-7:30 p.m. at the Gibbs Library. To register, call 863-1946.

LANGUAGE SAMPLER free classes in Greek, German, French and Spanish through April 22 at the Gibbs Library.

863-1946.

BASIC MICROSOFT WORD courses offered at the Wallace Branch Library beginning April 10. For complete class schedules and information, call 722-6275.

USC-AIKEN CONTINUING EDUCATION offers the following courses: Drama and more. USC-Aiken also offers Education to Go classes online. Call the Office of Continuing Education at (803) 641-3288.

AUGUSTA STATE UNIVERSITY CONTINUING EDUCATION is now offering the following classes: Garden Design, Intermediate Photography, Acting Workshop, Beginning Shag, Intro to Mountain Biking and Trails, Intermediate Line Dance, Drivers Education and more. Also, ASU offers online courses. For more information, call 737-1636 or visit www.ced.aug.edu.

AIKEN TECH CONTINUING EDUCATION offers the following courses: PCs 101, Microsof t Word, Microsof t Excel, Infant Massage, Health Care Career Courses, Beginning Cake Decorating, Professional Cooking, Real Estate Courses, Floral Design, Defensive Driving, Leadership and Employee Development and more. Aiken Tech also offers Education to Go classes online. For more information or to register, call (803) 593-9231, ex t. 1230.

PROJECT LINK COMMUNITY LECTURE SERIES is held the first Tuesday of every month and is sponsored by the MCG Children’s Medical Center. Project Link provides educational resources and guidance for families who have children with developmental delays, disabilities and other specialized health concerns. Free and open to the public; takes place from 6:30-8 p.m. in the main conference room at the Children’s Medical Center. Call 721-6838 for information.

UNIVERSITY HEALTH CARE SYSTEM COMMUNITY EDUCATION holds workshops, seminars and classes on a variety of topics: weight and nutrition, women’s health, cancer, diabetes, seniors’ health and more. Suppor t groups and health screenings are also offered. Call 736-0847 for details.

PEACHCARE FOR KIDS AND RIGHT FROM THE START MEDICADE offers free or low-cost health coverage to qualifying families. Coverage includes prenatal care, hospitalization, vaccines, dental and vision care and is available to pregnant women of all ages and to children through age 19. Contact the RSM Project at 729-2086 or 721-5611 for information.

YOGA CLASSES at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital are held on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 7-8 a.m. for $45/month or 10:30 a.m. to noon for $55/month. Call 823-6294.

FREE HIV/AIDS TESTING every Tuesday from 4 to 7 p.m. at St. Stephen’s Ministry, 922 Greene Street. Free anonymous testing, pre- and post-test counseling and education.

HATHA YOGA CLASSES at the St. Joseph Home Health Care Center in Daniel Village Plaza. Held 10 a.m. to noon Monday, Wednesday and Friday and 6:30-8:30 p.m. Monday through Thursday. $10 per class or $60 a month for unlimited classes. Mats are provided, but bring a towel and a water bot tle.

Call Tess at 738-2782 for more information.

A FREE WOMEN’S HEALTH CLINIC is held from 6-8 p.m. on Tuesdays at the Salvation Army and Welfare Center, 1383 Greene St. Services include Pap smear, breast exam and the diagnosis and treatment of sexually transmit ted diseases.

For more info or an appointment, call the St. Vincent dePaul Health Center at 828-3444.

W.G. WATSON, M.D., WOMEN’S CENTER CONDUCTS EDUCATION CLASSES at University Hospital. Course topics include Lamaze, breast feeding, parenting and grandparenting. Par tners will learn positive suppor t techniques. There are also programs designed to help older siblings adjust to new family members. Some classes are free, while others require a fee. Registration is required by calling 774-2825.

Kids SPECIAL STORYTIME with puppets, fingerplays, stories and songs April 23, 10:30 a.m. and 3:30 p.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. 736-6244.

FAMILY GAME NIGHT April 24, 6-8 p.m. at the Gibbs Library. Bring the whole family and play games like Junior Pictionary, Junior Scrabble, Uno and more. You may also bring your own board game or card game. Space is limited, so register by calling the library at 863-1946.

STORYLAND THEATRE is now taking reservations for the 2003-2004 season: “Sleeping Beauty” Oct. 28Nov. 1, “The Cour tship of Senorita Florabella” Feb. 2429 and “Hansel and Gretel” April 13-17. Season tickets for weekday school per formances are $9 per student; season tickets for weekend family matinees are $10.50 per person. For reservations, call Storyland Theatre at 736-3455 or fa x a request to 736-3349.

FORT GORDON EASTER EGG HUNT April 12, 10 a.m., on Engineer Field. Open to the public, ages 12 and under. The Easter Bunny will also stop by to visit. For information, call 791-6500.

PHINIZY SWAMP NATURE PARK FAMILY DISCOVERY SERIES presentation on snakes April 24, 5:30-7:30 p.m. at the Pharmacia Pavilion. Bring the family and a picnic dinner. Call 828-2109 for more information.

EASTER BUNNY BOP April 19, 10 a.m.-noon at the H.O. Weeks Center Soccer Field in Aiken. Carnival games, rides, non-competitive egg hunt and a visit from the Easter Bunny for kids ages 10 and under. Call (803) 642-7631 for more information.

COMMUNITY PICNIC AND EASTER EGG HUNT for families of For t Gordon soldiers and local military personnel who have been called to duty in the Middle East. Held April 19, 10 a.m.-2 p.m., at Augusta Common. For more information, contact the mayor’s of fice, 821-1831.

FAMILY Y SCHOOL’S OUT PRIME TIME PROGR AM April 18 for children 5-12 years old. Exciting activities will be planned for the day, when Richmond County schools are not in session. Fees are $14 per child registering in advance or $20 per child registering the day of the program. For details, call 738-7006.

EASTER EGGSTR AVAGANZA FAMILY NIGHT at Camp Lakeside April 17, 5-7:30 p.m. Hayrides, egg hunt, dinner, marshmallow roast and more will be featured. $5 per person. Call 733-1030 for details.

SPECIAL PRESCHOOL STORYTIME WITH CHIEF GILLESPIE of the Augusta-Richmond County Fire Depar tment April 16, 10 a.m. at the Ma xwell Branch Library. Call 793-2020 for more information.

GEORGIA STATE PARKS PARENT-CHILD FISHING TOURNAMENT April 12 at Mistletoe State Park.

Registration is between 7-10 a.m. and weigh-in is at 3 p.m. Entry fee is $5 per family. For information, contact Bill Tinley, 541-0321.

“TECHNOLOGY AND TENNIS FOR LIFE” camp is now accepting registration for summer sessions June 9-27 and July 7-25. Program activities include computer literacy, leadership skills development, tennis instruction and more. To register, call 796-5046.

Citizens Council of Greater Augusta and the CSRA Mondays, noon to 4 p.m. and Fridays, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Free; call 8264480 for information.

AIKEN PARKS AND RECREATION offers a multitude of programs for senior adults, including bridge clubs, fitness classes, canasta clubs, line dancing, racquetball, ar ts and craf ts, tai chi, tennis and excursions. For more information, call (803) 642-7631.

JUD C. HICKEY CENTER FOR ALZHEIMER’S CARE provides families and caregivers of those with Alzheimer’s disease and dementia a break during the day. Activities and care available at the adult day center, and homecare is available as well. For information, call 738-5039.

THE ACADEMY FOR LIFELONG LEARNING offers lectures, courses, field trips, discussion groups and community information seminars on a variety of topics to mature adults. For more information, contact the USC-Aiken Office of Continuing Education at (803) 641-3288.

PEOPLE WITH ARTHRITIS CAN EXERCISE (PACE) meets at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital Tuesdays and Thursdays from 1-2 p.m. Call 823-5294.

THE SENIOR CITIZENS COUNCIL OF GREATER AUGUSTA AND THE CSRA offers a variety of classes, including aerobics, quilting, tai chi, Spanish, painting, line dancing, bowling, bridge, computers, yoga and pinochle. For dates and times, phone 826-4480.

ARTHRITIS AQUATICS offered Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital. Classes meet 99:45 a.m., 10-10:45 a.m. or 12:15-1 p.m. $37.50/month. To register, call 733-5959.

HOMEWORK STUDY SKILLS FOR STUDENTS Saturdays from 9 a.m.-noon at Shiloh Comprehensive Community Center. Computers are available. Call 738-0089 for info.

AFTER-SCHOOL PROGR AM at the Smith-Hazel Recreation Center in Aiken through May, 2-6 p.m.

Open to kids ages 5-13. Call (803) 642-7635.

GEORGIA STATE DRUG-FREE POWERLIFTING CHAMPIONSHIPS presented by the Py thon Power League of Augusta April 19, 10 a.m., at the Mar tial Ar ts Tournament Center, 2608 Peach Orchard Rd. General admission is $3. Entry fee for athletes is $40. For info, contact The Skinny Man at 790-3806 or py thongym@aol.com.

CHILDREN’S LEARNING CENTER at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History open Monday-Friday, 4:30-6:30 p.m., through June. For information, call 724-3576.

LIONS MARTIAL ARTS TOURNAMENT April 19 in Jackson, S.C. Open to the public. For more information, call (803) 652-2608.

ACADEMIC HELP AND TUTORING available Saturdays, 2:30-4:30 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 722-6275 to make arrangements.

SUPERMAN JAM X-GAMES April 19, 4 and 8 p.m., at the Augusta-Richmond County Civic Center. Tickets are $5.50-$15. For more information and tickets, call 828-7700 or visit www.ticketmaster.com.

WEEKLY STORY SESSIONS at all branch libraries. Visit www.ecgrl.public.lib.ga.us for more information.

FIRST SATURDAY STORYTELLING at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum. In addition, there is a tour of the museum. Held 10 a.m. to noon the first Saturday of the month. Call 724-3576.

Seniors BLOOD PRESSURE SCREENINGS April 21, 10-11:30 a.m. at the Senior Citizens Council of Greater Augusta and the CSRA. For info, call 826-4480.

COMPUTER CLASSES FOR SENIOR CITIZENS Tuesdays and Thursdays, 11 a.m.-1 p.m. at Shiloh Comprehensive Community Center. For more information, call 738-0089.

TAX ASSISTANCE at the Ma xwell Branch Library Tuesdays and Fridays, 10 a.m.-noon through April 15. Free; persons over 50 have priority. In-person registration required. Call 793-2020. AARP Ta x Aide is also available at the Senior

Spanikopitas Full Moon Nachos Orange Moon Sea Crab Cake And many more…

QUESADILLAS The Half Moon The Orange Moon Cajun Shrimp & Black Bean

ENTREES Ginger Orange Chicken Stir-Fry Hot Shrimp Stir-Fry Jambalaya Orange Moon Sirloin Orange Pork Loin Bowtie Shrimp And many more…

SANDWICHES Orange Moon Burger Grilled Chicken Philly Steak or Chicken

AUGUSTA FLASH 14 AND UNDER FASTPITCH TR AVEL SOFTBALL TEAM is holding tryouts. For information, contact head coach Jef f Towe at 868-8485, 7715618 or augustaflash@hotmail.com.

THE AUGUSTA RUGBY CLUB is always looking for new members. Teams available for women and men; no experience necessary. Practice is Tuesday and Thursday nights, 79 p.m. at Richmond Academy. For more information, call Don Zuehlke, 495-2043, or e-mail augustar fc@yahoo.com.

You may also visit www.augustarugby.org.

Volunteer KIDS RESTART, a local non-profit agency dedicated to helping children in the foster care system, is holding training for volunteers who wish to become advocates for abused and/or neglected children and volunteers who wish to assist at the visitation center and in the enrichment program. Training is April 21-25 and May 3, 5-6, 8 and 10. Training sessions vary according to which aspect of volunteering trainees are interested in, so call 828-0180 for specifics and to register.

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APPETIZERS

AUGUSTA GREENJACKETS HOME GAMES April 14-16 and 21-28. Tickets are $6-$8 for adults; $5 for senior citizens, military personnel and children 4-12; and $1 for children 3 and under. For tickets, visit www.tixonline.com or call 736-7889.

INTRODUCTORY AND DROP-IN CLIMBING Fridays, 5:30-6:30 p.m., at the Virginia Acres Park Climbing Wall in Aiken. Cost is $5 per session. Call (803) 6427631 for information.

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Sports AUGUSTA ROWING CLUB LEARN-TO-ROW CLASS April 24-May 24. Cost is $80 for 10 classes.

Par ticipants must be able to swim. Held at The Boathouse on the Savannah River. To register, contact Tim Jannik at (803) 278-0003.

YOUTH LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT SKILLS PROGRAM for teens ages 12-19 held the third Saturday of the month at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History. Call 724-3576.

Try Something New This Year for Masters®

SENIORNET provides adults age 50 and over education for and access to computer technology. Many different courses are offered. Contact the USC-Aiken Continuing Education Office at (803) 641-3563.

STORYTIME IN THE GARDENS every Tuesday, 4 p.m., through May. Senior citizens will read favorite children’s stories to kids 8 and under at Hopeland Gardens in Aiken. Bring a blanket or chair and snacks. Free. Rain location is the H.O. Weeks Center. (803) 642-7631.

GIRLS INCORPOR ATED AFTER-SCHOOL PROGR AM runs through the end of the 2002-2003 school year. A variety of programs will be of fered. Services include van pick-up at select schools, evening drop-of f, homework room and hot evening meal. Open to girls in kindergar ten through high school. Af ter-school program of fered 2:30-6 p.m. Mon.-Fri. For more information, call 733-2512.

AUGUSTA’S NEWEST RESTAURANT

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Children’s Menu Available

– LIVE ENTERTAINMENT – THURS FRI -

Live Poetry

Comedy Show

SAT -

Martini Night $5.50 Martinis All Night

SUN -

Live Reggae

Orange Moon Cafe CORNER OF 11TH & ELLIS STREET

722.9698

DOWNTOWN AUGUSTA TUES - THURS 11:30AM - 11PM FRI & SAT 11:30AM - 2AM SUN 11:30AM - 11PM

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S P I R I T

Voted Best Steak In Augusta For 15 Years 1987-2002

DUI

Free Phone Call

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William Sussman

———ATTORNEY AT LAW ———

2856 Washington Rd. 73-STEAK 1654 Gordon Hwy. 796-1875

347 Greene Street • Augusta, Georgia

▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼

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(706) 724-3331

GUARANTEE? Yes Siree!

Tax Preparation Business & Personal Call to schedule an appointment

KAREN D. STINSON Wheeler Executive Center 3540 Wheeler Rd - Suite 404

733-4900

Photo by Joe White

M E T R O

It’s time again for Augusta GreenJackets baseball. April’s home games are April 1416 and 21-28.

PHINIZY SWAMP NATURE PARK EARTH DAY CELEBRATION is in need of volunteers to man information booths, sell nature park merchandise and assist with the 5K Swamp Stomp April 19. For more information, call 828-2109.

THE AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF THE AMERICAN SINGLES GOLF ASSOCIATION meets the second Thursday of every month, and holds golf outings and socials as well. Open to singles 21 and over. For information, call (803) 441-6741.

FORT DISCOVERY STUDENT VOLUNTEER PROGRAM is looking for volunteers, ages 15 and up, to commit 30 hours over the summer. For more information on this oppor tunity, contact Millie Schumacher, 821-0609.

RICHMOND ACADEMY CLASS OF 1968 is looking for members interested in planning or attending the 35th reunion celebration, planned for later this year. If you graduated from ARC in 1968, please e-mail contact information to Academy1968@aol.com or call Hap Harris, 724-2452.

THE KITTY ORTIZ DE LEON FOUNDATION needs volunteers to help promote organ donor awareness. For more information, please contact Cassandra Reed at 481-0105 or kodfoundation@aol.com.

GOLDEN HARVEST FOOD BANK needs volunteers during the day, Monday-Friday, to help sort donated products and assist in their agency shopping area. Help is needed year-round. If you are able to lift 25 pounds and would like to help fight hunger in the Augusta area, contact Laurie Roper at 736-1199, ext. 208.

THOROUGHBRED RACING HALL OF FAME DOCENTS NEEDED: Duties include opening and closing the Hall of Fame, greeting visitors and providing information about museum exhibits. Call Lisa Hall, (803) 642-7650 for information.

OLDER AMERICANS ACT SENIOR NUTRITION PROGRAM is looking for volunteers to serve meals to needy older residents.

To volunteer, contact the Senior Citizens Council at 826-4480.

For those in need of home-delivered meals, call 210-2018 or toll free at 1-888-922-4464.

• Perennials 150 varieties • English Hayracks • Birdfeeders

• Hanging Baskets 50 varieties • Fountains • Garden Accessories

BEDFORD

• Herbs & Vegetables 36 varieties • Concrete Planters • Windchimes Avoid Masters® Traffic: Follow Milledge Road towards Lake Olmstead and turn left at dead-end onto Lake Shore Loop.

Follow the signs to Bedfords!

GREENHOUSES 1023 Oleander Drive, Augusta 733-2269 Open Monday-Saturday 8-6 Washington Road to Woodbine Drive at St. Mark UMC, turn at second left - Redbird, left at second stop sign - Bedford, right at next street Oleander

G R O W I N G A U G U S TA ' S G A R D E N S S I N C E 1 9 4 5

NEW ADULT WOMEN’S BOOK CLUB based on the NBC “Today” show book club is forming, and organizers are looking for interested par ties. Beginning this month, the club is planning on holding monthly meetings at Borders on a Tuesday evening. Those interested in joining are advised to page Marian at 785-0006 for details.

PRISMS GROUP for singles is star ting up at Marvin Methodist Church. Prisms is not a dating service, but will provide a casual, comfor table atmosphere for singles to get together, as well as outings and meetings. For more information, call the Marvin Methodist Church office at 863-0510.

Weekly

CHRIST-BASED RECOVERY MEETING every Tuesday, 6:30 p.m., at the Love & Light Healing Center. Please use the back entrance. For information, contact Kenny Stacy, 373-5585.

FREE ‘N’ ONE SUPPORT GROUP for those battling addiction to drugs and alcohol. Approach is a spiritual one. Held every Thursday night. For information, contact Sarah Barnes, 772-7325.

AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL: New volunteer orientation is scheduled the first Saturday of each month at 1 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Schedule subject to change; call 790-6836 to verify dates and times.

TOUGH LOVE SUPPORT GROUP Monday nights, 6:30-7:30 p.m. at the South Augusta Resource Center. Learn how to understand addiction and how to exercise tough love with those you care about. Call Sarah Barnes, 772-7325, for info.

THE CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY is looking for animal lovers willing to donate a lit tle of their time. Volunteers are needed every Saturday at the Pet Center located behind GreenJackets Stadium on Milledge Road. Call 261-PETS for more info.

GEORGIA-CAROLINA TOASTMASTERS meets Wednesdays at noon at the Clubhouse, 2567 Washington Rd. $8 for lunch; visitors welcome. 860-9854.

SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER is seeking donors to prevent a blood supply shor tage. To donate call 737-4551, 854-1880 or (803) 643-7996.

Meetings GIBBS LIBRARY BOOK DISCUSSION GROUP meets April 21, 7 p.m., to discuss “The Lovely Bones” by Alice Sebold. 863-1946.

FRIENDS OF COLUMBIA COUNTY LIBRARIES meets April 15, 7 p.m. at the Gibbs Library. For information, call 863-1946.

THE AUGUSTA ROSE SOCIETY is a local nonprofit organization dedicated to promoting rose gardening in the CSRA. The society is open to the public and meets the third Tuesday of the month in the Sister Mary Louise Conference Room at St. Joseph Hospital. The April 15 program begins at 7:30 p.m. and features tips for entering roses in the upcoming Augusta Spring Rose Show. (803) 279-5502.

SIERRA CLUB MEETING features a presentation by Ginny Brady on the Adopt-a-Stream volunteer program. The public is invited to attend April 15, 7:30 p.m., at the Unitarian Church.

For more information, call 863-2324.

SEXAHOLICS ANONYMOUS, a 12-step program of recovery from addiction to obsessive/compulsive sexual thoughts and behaviors, meets Wednesdays at 8 p.m. and Saturdays at 7 p.m. at Augusta Counselling Services. Call 339-1204 and leave first name and phone number; a confidential reply is assured.

AUGUSTA TOASTMASTERS CLUB #326 meets Thursdays at 7:30 p.m. at Advent Lutheran Church. Call 868-8431.

BUSINESS NETWORK INTERNATIONAL Augusta Chapter meets every Thursday morning from 7 to 8:30 a.m. at the Cour tyards by Mariott. The group is a business networking group designed to give and receive referrals. All professionals welcome. For more information or to join, call Barbara Crenshaw, 868-3772.

RIVERWALK TOASTMASTERS meets Mondays, 7 p.m. in Classroom 3 at University Hospital. Call Gale Kan, 855-7071.

GUIDELINES: Public Service announcements are listed in this section without charge at the discretion of the editor.

Announcements must be received by Monday at noon and will be included as space permits. Send to Events, The Metropolitan Spirit, P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914 or fax (706) 733-6663. You may also e-mail listings to rhonda_jones@metspirit.com or lisa_jordan@metspirit.com.

Listings cannot be taken over the phone.

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©2003 Anheuser-Busch, Inc., Budweiser© Beer, St. Louis, MO

34 M E T R O S P I R I T A P R

Cinema

“The Core”

Movie Listings

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Agent Cody Banks (PG) — is about teens

recruited by the CIA — Osama, are you watching?

Compact hero Cody, 15, gets to derail the scary plan for global domination of another crazy villain (Ian McShane). It blithely exploits such talents as Cynthia Stevenson, Mar tin Donovan and Keith David (tops as the CIA chief). This hyper baby Bond has gizmos, chases, modestly lavish sets, cheap explosions, a sleek va-voom played by Angie Harmon and a girlish wow played by Hilary Duf f, who's like a Culkin version of Bardot. Running time: 1 hr., 50 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Anger Management (PG-13) — A misunderstanding on an airplane leads to some air rage on the par t of calm and collected Dave Buznik, who is then forced, under cour t order, to at tend anger managment sessions. The problem is with Dr. Buddy Rydell, anger management guru, and his unor thodox methods. When the judge orders that Rydell move in with Buznik for some more intensive treatment, Buznik is pushed to the edge by Rydell’s rude mannerisms, the lewd comments Rydell makes to Buznik’s girlfriend and the confrontations Rydell pushes him into. Cast: Jack Nicholson, Adam Sandler, Krista Allen, John Tur turro, Marisa Tomei.

Basic (R) — John Travolta swaggers through this macho military thriller as Tom Hardy, an ex-Army wise guy hanging around Panama City. He is called in for some cover t investigating by the squishy base commander at the Canal Zone in Panama. A cruel and hated drill sergeant, West (Samuel L. Jackson), was killed on an insane jungle training exercise during a hurricane.

There are more dead and wounded, and survivors reek of guilt. The plot pretzels like a Mobius strip on moonshine, repeating scenes from dif ferent "angles," each one a Cubist jag of revelation. If this humid hullabaloo made sense, it still wouldn't mat ter. The finish is like the giddy reunion of a buddy club, as if the sequel might be a frat-boy comedy. Cast: John Travolta, Connie Nielsen, Samuel L. Jackson, Giovanni Ribisi, Taye Diggs, Roselyn Sanchez, Harry Connick Jr., Brian Van Holt. Running time: 1 hr., 38 mins. (Elliot t) ★1/2 Biker Boyz (PG-13) — Described as a “contemporary Western on wheels,” “Biker Boyz” delves into the underground world of motorcycle racing.

Undefeated champ Smoke dominates California’s racing scene, but his position is threatened by a young racer named Kid. Kid’s out to win Smoke’s helmet — and his fame. Cast: Laurence Fishburne, Derek Luke, Orlando Jones, Djimon Hounsole, Lisa Bonet, Kid Rock.

Bringing Down the House (PG-13) — Queen Latifah smoothly pockets "Bringing Down the House" as Charlene, a good-hear ted fugitive from the law, turning to a starchy, divorced ta x at torney for refuge and suppor t. Steve Mar tin is the lawyer, Peter. The core idea of this very simple comedy is pure buzz of contrast: Latifah is abundantly, explosively black, while Mar tin may be the whitest man ever to star in movies. Latifah rides out the nonsense in her queenly, Pearl Bailey style. It's a cookie-cut comedy. The movie delivers its very manufactured goods, but it lacks the guts to be a meaningful comedy. Cast: Steve Mar tin, Queen Latifah, Eugene Levy, Joan Plowright, Jean Smar t, Bet ty White. Running time: 1 hr., 45 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Catch Me If You Can (PG-13) — From the breezy opening credits done in '60s hip style, Steven Spielberg's charmed enter tainment flies along with confidence. Leonardo DiCaprio is entirely engaging as Frank Abagnale Jr., con ar tist and ace kiter of checks, pursued with increasingly caring fixation by Tom Hanks as a square FBI man. Christopher Walken is the smooth-talking flop dad whom Frank yearns to impress. Cast: Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hanks, Christopher Walken.

Running time: 2 hrs., 15 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★ Chicago (PG-13) —- It's been 23 years since Richard Gere stripped on Broadway for "Bent." Now he gets to pull of f his clothes as slick shyster Billy Flynn.

Mostly in wonder ful suits, his hair shining like creased silver, Gere is having the best time of his movie life, singing and tapdancing and lording over women with rakish snaz. He's a lioness-tamer; the main cats are Velma Kelly (Catherine Zeta-Jones), a cabaret sex bazooka and killer on Death Row and newcomer Roxie Har t (Renee Zellweger), a Bet ty Boop who killed her lover. For cash and headlines, Flynn will help guilty women beat the law. "Chicago" is zip for depth, but it has all the sexy sur face it needs to be ex travagantly alive. It tops of f at the Chicago Theater, and the old

Lions Gate Films

“House of 1000 Corpses”

RATINGS

★★★★ — Excellent.

show palace looks delighted. Cast: Renee Zellweger, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Richard Gere, John C. Reilly, Queen Latifah, Christine Baranski, Taye Diggs. Running time: 1 hr., 53 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★★ The Core (PG-13) — It's a story of Ear th imperiled and mankind going down the tubes. So a real tube has to be laser-tunneled using a new kind of worm craf t, right to the center of the world. Some secret military mischief stopped our planetary core from spinning and unhinged the electromagnetic shield. A group of geniuses, oddballs and two NASA pilots must go down there in a $50 billion crash program to hot-wire the core. "The Core" is so crazily improbable that it becomes madly believable. So much is at stake! Not so much sci-fi as sci-fi-jeez, it relies on the good old rhy thm of friction and bonding, and on desperate improvisation. Cast: Aaron Eckhar t, Stanley Tucci, Hilary Swank, Delroy Lindo, Tcheky Karyo, Bruce Greenwood, Alfre Woodard, D.J. Qualls. Running time: 2 hrs. (Elliot t) ★★★ Darkness Falls (PG-13) — A young man in a small town, isolated because the locals think he’s crazy, is the only one who can help a young boy, the brother of his childhood girlfriend. The boy is threatened by a centuries-old evil, a force that served as the inspiration for the seemingly innocuous tale of the tooth fairy. Cast: Chaney Kley, Emma Caulfield, Joshua Anderson, Andrew Bayly, Emily Browning.

Deliver Us From Eva (R) — Eva, described as the “sister-in-law from hell” by the men in her life, is one big nagging pain in the — well, you get the idea.

The guys, desperate to stop her nagging and shut her up for good, hope that the right man will do the trick.

They pay a smooth studmuf fin, played by LL Cool J, to seduce Eva. The results of the experiment come as a surprise to everyone. Cast: Gabrielle Union, LL Cool J, Essence Atkins, Dar tanyan Edmonds, Meagan Good.

Dreamcatcher (R) — Henry (Thomas Jane), Beaver (Jason Lee), Jonesy (Damian Lewis) and Pete (Timothy Olyphant) were boyhood pals in a small town in Maine. Every year, they convene in a backwoods cabin to hunt, drink beer and talk about Duddits (Donnie Wahlberg), their mentally challenged, supernaturally connected friend for whom they once performed an act of great kindness and bravery, and who in return rewarded them with a shared six th sense. A man staggers up to the cabin, half-frozen and infected with something from out of this world. He's incubating a spectacularly aw ful creature. The stolid subplot – about a military unit that deals with aliens and is run by a quasi-fascist lunatic (Morgan Freeman) – slows things down, giving viewers time to think, rarely a good idea in this genre. "Dreamcatcher's" biggest shock is that it flat runs out of ideas. In the end, it's just another monster flick. Cast: Thomas Jane, Jason Lee, Damian Lewis, Timothy Olyphant. Running time: 2 hrs., 25 mins. (Salm) ★★ Drumline (PG-13) — A young street drummer from Harlem wins a scholarship to at tend a Southern university and decides to make the trek af ter being convinced by the university’s band director, even though he knows he’ll have a hard time fit ting in.

Gradually, his drumming skills help the other students warm up to him. Cast: Nick Cannon, Orlando Jones, Zoe Saldana, Jason Weaver.

Final Destination 2 (R) — As in the first movie, a group of teen-agers manages to cheat death. But

★★★— Worthy.

★★ — Mixed.

★ — Poor.

death, unsatisfied with the teens’ getaway, pursues in a myriad of disturbing ways. Kimberly, driving a group of friends to Florida, has a premonition that helps them avoid being caught in a fatal freeway pileup. Death has other plans. Cast: Ali Lar ter, A.J. Cook, Michael Landes, T.C. Carson, Jonathan Cherry, James Kirk, Tony Todd.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (PG) — Harry (Daniel Radclif fe) faces destiny with a

clear eye and spor ty will, not the least neurotic despite having been orphaned into a family of idiotic prigs who treat him abominably. He again escapes to Hogwar ts, to his pals (Ruper t Grint as wobble-faced Ron, Emma Watson as bookworm Hermione) and the snippish regard of Prof. Snape (Alan Rickman) and Prof.

McGonegall (Maggie Smith), and the wonder ful giant Hagrid (Robbie Coltrane) and Headmaster Dumbledore (Richard Harris, now dead). Jason Isaacs should be given more time as Lucius, the evil, white-maned father of snob Draco Malfoy. There is a sense of a grand machine greased, sometimes grinding. The "chamber of secrets" is less an exciting mystery at the center than a device to car t the bulky saga forward.

Cast: Daniel Radclif fe, Ruper t Grint, Emma Watson, Kenneth Branagh, Richard Harris, Alan Rickman, Maggie Smith, Robbie Coltrane. Running time: 2 hrs., 41 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★ Head of State (PG-13) — “Head of State” marks the directorial debut of comic Chris Rock, who also co-wrote the screenplay. He stars as an unlikely presidential candidate, a down-on-his-luck government employee about to lose his job. Thrust into presidential candidacy by his par ty when the par ty’s original presidential nominee unexpectedly dies, Rock appeals to the country’s par ty vein to try and win the election.

Bernie Mac stars as his brother and running mate.

Cast: Chris Rock, Bernie Mac, Dylan Baker, Tamala Jones, Robin Givens.

House of 1000 Corpses (R) — Rocker Rob Zombie takes the classic horror route in his film directorial debut. Car trouble forces a group of traveling teens to stop at a gas station/Museum of Monsters and Madmen in the middle of nowhere. But why is a man called Dr. Satan the local hero? Who is stupid enough to ride the museum’s “Murder Ride”? And just what’s in the secret-recipe fried chicken anyway?

Cast: Bill Moseley, Karen Black, Chris Hardwick.

The Jungle Book 2 (G) — Mowgli and friends return in this animated sequel to the Disney classic.

Mowgli has adjusted to life in the village with all the other humans, but he still misses his animal friends, especially Baloo. When Mowgli sneaks away to the jungle to visit his old pals, it’s a race to see who can find him first: the friends he’s looking to visit or maneating tiger Shere Khan. Cast: John Goodman, Haley Joel Osment, Tony Jay. Kangaroo Jack (PG) — Two childhood friends, Charlie (Jerry O'Connell) and Louis (Anthony Anderson), from Brooklyn are forced to deliver a mysterious envelope to Australia af ter one of them accidentally causes the police to raid a mob warehouse. En route to the land down under, Louis peeks in the package and discovers that it contains $50,000. Af ter the guys arrive in the Outback, they accidentally run over a kangaroo. Louis decides to take pictures of the animal and even puts shades and his lucky jacket on the 'roo, which is only stunned and hops away with the jacket containing the money. Now the guys are forced to

0— Not worthy.

chase the animal through the Outback, or they'll have to repay the mob with their lives. The real star of "Kangaroo Jack" is the beautiful Outback. That alone may be wor th the price of admission. Or not. Cast: Jerry O'Connell, Anthony Anderson, Estella Warren, Christopher Walken, Dyan Cannon, Mar ton Csokas.

Running time: 1 hr., 30 mins. (McCormick) ★

Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (PG13) — Long, violent, death-fixated, dark in tone,

heavy in heroic mood, this is a film for addicts of the series. Lit tle Frodo is marginalized as Viggo Mor tensen leads the defense of a castle from hordes of vicious scumballs, and the two grand beards (Ian McKellan, Christopher Lee) contend for Middle Ear th.

There's a lit tle schizo in a wispy loincloth, expressively per formed and voiced, but the almost Stone Age my thology rolls over us like layers of geology. 3 hrs.

(Elliot t) ★★ A Man Apart (R) — Vin Diesel is emotionally strung-out af ter an arrogant car tel bust in Mexico leads to the murder of his wife. He sulks, he stews, he is a man of constant sorrows. He is beaten, shot, almost drowns, nearly has his eyes poked out. But mostly he avenges. Backed up by DEA buddies who are all men apar t, being former gang "homies," he enters into foul nests of narco-scum and turns a money transfer into a rampage of bloody bodies and burning cars. Behind all the meanness is El Diablo, new king of the Mex-to-Cal drug trade, or maybe it's his imprisoned predecessor, Meno (Geno Silva). Diesel is top dog now on the scummy streets and sewers of the 21st-century world nightmare. In cruel times, seamy diversion fits in seamlessly. Cast: Vin Diesel, Larenz Tate, Steve Eastin, Timothy Olyphant. Running time: 1 hr., 39 mins. (Elliot t) ★★1/2 Phone Booth (R) — Stu Shepard (Colin Farrell) fancies that he is a new-glam guy, but he is just another wannabe Sidney Falco, a publicist who dresses in yup-style display threads (markdown Italian suits and deep-color shir ts) while he pitches, schmoozes and snidely snipes at people, of ten on a cell phone.

Suddenly, he has to endure a real sniper, a mysterious psycho who calls him in the phone booth, tells him to stay there "or I will kill you," and then torments Stu with truths about his glib, weaseling life. Director Joel Schumacher pumps the nonsense avidly, using touches — smeary jumps, zooms, speed-ups, split-screen multiples — that were get ting old when MTV was only a noisy rug rat. Cast: Colin Farrell, Forest Whitaker, Katie Holmes, Radha Mitchell, Kiefer Sutherland.

Running time: 1 hr., 21 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ The Pianist (R) — The story of how gif ted pianist Wladyslaw Szpilman (played by delicately featured, demurely expressive Adrien Brody) survived the Nazi rape of Poland and the Holocaust is blended without hysteria, indeed with sobering control, into the personal gravity of director Roman Polanski's childhood during the war hell. It's a wonder ful film, with surges of honest feeling that can knock you nearly flat, and Chopin underscores the emotions. 2 hrs., 28 mins.(Elliot t) ★★★★ Piglet’s Big Movie (G) — Piglet gets to be the center of at tention in the latest animated movie based on the Winnie-the-Pooh gang. When the rest of the gang begins a honey harvest and won’t let Piglet help because of his small size, Piglet disappears. To find him, the gang uses his scrapbook as a map, and, along the way, discovers that even a small pig can be a big hero. Cast: John Fiedler, Jim Cummings, Peter Cullen.

“A Man Apart”

The Ring (PG-13) — begins with the telling of an urban-legend-like tale that, for a while, seems likely to consign this movie to the slasher/horror bin: A weird videotape is circulating. As soon as you're through watching it, the telephone rings. A voice on the phone informs you that you have seven days to live. Seven days later, you die. The film boasts first-rate per formances, a gorgeous look, an engaging plot and a jangly, thrumming sense of dread. The ef fectiveness of such a movie depends entirely on the beholder. Save for a long, uneasy feeling of foreboding and one solid jolt, I didn't find it all that scary. Two young women exiting the theater in front of me, however, declared that the thing had terrified them, and I'm willing to take their word for it. Cast: Naomi Wat ts, Mar tin Henderson, David Dor fman, Brian Cox. Running time: 1 hr., 55 mins. (Salm) ★★1/2 View From the Top (PG-13) — An amusing fluf f comedy. Gwyneth Paltrow rela xes her chic charm into the cute role of Donna, a sky-dreaming airline stewardess who wants the Paris run, but gets stuck for a while in Cleveland. She's gorgeous, ginchy and only a lit tle airheaded. As her mentors, Mike Myers and Candice Bergen add comic pepper, while Christina Applegate is her sneaky rival and Mark Ruf falo the dreamboat who comes, goes and returns. Eric Wald's very commercial script was neatly stylized as a retro cupcake by director Bruno Barreto and photographer Af fonso Beato. 1 hr., 27 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★ What a Girl Wants (PG) — Amanda Bynes hugs and smooches the camera as Daphne Reynolds.

Daughter of New York sof t-rock singer Libby (Kelly Preston), she is also the daughter of the very rich and now political Lord Henry Dashwood (Colin Fir th), a British cutie and "future prime minister!" Henry is a bit guilty about split ting with Libby long before. His Moroccan Bedouin wedding with Libby evidently doesn't impede his coming marriage to the militantly upscaling Glynnis (Anna Chancellor). Her snob daughter (Christina Cole) is eager to hate Daphne with blistering superiority. Never intimidated, Daphne dashes to the Dashwood estate in London, where her spunky American adorableness can wreck wedding plans and a lof ty chandelier, yet also make a par ty "rock." Cast: Amanda Bynes, Colin Fir th, Kelly Preston, Jonathan Pryce, Eileen Atkins. Running time: 1 hr., 40 mins.

(Elliot t) ★★ The Wild Thornberrys (PG) — Big-screen version of the animated Nickeloden series about a family who travels around the world to make nature documentaries. While in Africa, 12-year-old Eliza learns that she can speak with animals and, with their help, aims to stop a group of poachers. Cast: Lacey Chaber t, Tim Curry, Ruper t Everet t, Flea, Lynn Redgrave, Marisa Tomei.

Willard (PG-13) — Ponderously silly, fairly funny remake of the 1971 spook hit about a lonely dork (Crispin Glover, totally commit ted and creepier than Bruce Davison in the original) who bonds with a white rat and comes to fear a big brown one. Of course, it becomes rodent hell. There is some gothic charm in this recycled kitsch, though the rat pack's work on a cat is not for everyone, and Jackie Burroughs as Willard's mom makes Mrs. Bates of "Psycho" seem a model of robust health. Cast: Crispin Glover, Jackie Burroughs. (Elliot t) ★★ —Capsules compiled from movie reviews written by David Elliott, film critic for The San Diego Union-Tribune and other staff writers.

35

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oming off roles in which they both brilliantly played against type, Jack Nicholson and Adam Sandler are back to their old tricks, and cinematic selves, in “Anger Management.” After Nicholson was passed over by Oscar for his stellar and understated performance as the humble Midwesterner Warren Schmidt in “About Schmidt” and Sandler shocked fans with his turn as the unbalanced Barry Egan in the bizarre “Punch Drunk Love,” the two stars return to form with this standard comedy.

Delivering that familiar dose of cheery insanity, which is suggested in each toothy smile he flashes, Nicholson stars here as the unorthodox anger management guru Dr. Buddy Rydell. When insecure and mousy executive secretary Dave Buznik, played by Sandler, is thrown into Rydell’s self-help group after politely wrangling with a flight attendant, the unknowing Manhattanite becomes the subject of a nightmare recovery. Given the option to complete the crazy doc’s program or go to jail for a year, Buznick unwillingly plays host and best friend to the quack.

Dubbed an “implosive” personality by the doctor, i.e. someone who is more likely to go postal than get into a bar fight (which, incidentally, he does), Buznick starts on a program that seems designed to drive him insane and make him mad as hell. As part of the “treatment,” Buznick endures a host of humiliations at his doctor’s hand.

Coming on strong as a rude houseguest

– Rydell sleeps in the nude and demands a homemade breakfast – the doctor evolves into a flat-out unbearable companion. While Buznick acquiesces to the demand for an impromptu rendition of “I’m So Pretty” (recalling Robert DeNiro’s musical act in “Analyze That” – what is it with “West Side Story” and the insane?) on the car trip to work, he draws the line when Rydell begins to move in on his girlfriend (Marisa Tomei).

Filled with less of the infantile humor than can be found in most of Sandler’s films, “Anger Management” is surprisingly stale. Nicholson is endlessly enjoyable as the irascible doctor, but Sandler’s mumbling idiot routine becomes old, quickly. And while some wonderful character actors are brought in to provide comic flair – both John Turturro and Luis Guzman (who’s been memorable in films like “Out of Sight” and “Boogie Nights”) are members of Rydell’s group – their scripted material often falls flat.

Surprisingly, Heather Graham and John C. Reilly draw more laughs as an insecure actress and angry monk, respectively. High on the cameo front as well (look out for Rudy Giuliani, John McEnroe and Bobby Knight), “Anger Management” offers a bunch of scenarios that are almost hilarious.

Not without memorable bits, “Anger Management” should have been funnier than it is. Ironically enough, more of the potty humor Sandler built his career on could have made this therapy session more enjoyable.

37

MOVIE CLOCK REGAL AUGUSTA EXCHANGE 20 Movies Good 4/11 - 4/15 Anger Management (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 11:50, 12:20, 1:00, 1:30, 2:15, 2:45, 3:30, 4:00, 4:45, 5:10, 7:00, 7:10, 7:30, 8:00, 9:00, 9:30, 10:00, 10:30, 11:30, 12:00, 12:35; Sun-Tue: 11:50, 12:20, 1:00, 1:30, 2:15, 2:45, 3:30, 4:00, 4:45, 5:10, 7:00, 7:10, 7:30, 8:00, 9:00, 9:30, 10:00, 10:30 House of 1000 Corpses (R) Fri-Sat: 12:50, 3:10, 5:45, 8:05, 10:15, 12:35; Sun-Tue: 12:50, 3:10, 5:45, 8:05, 10:15 Phone Booth (R) Fri-Sat: 12:40, 3:00, 5:15, 7:20, 9:40, 12:10; Sun-Tue: 12:40, 3:00, 5:15, 7:20, 9:40 A Man Apart (R) 12:10, 2:50, 5:20, 7:55, 10:30 What a Girl Wants (PG) Fri-Sat: 12:00, 1:45, 2:30, 4:25, 5:00, 7:05, 7:35, 9:35, 10:05, 12:05, 12:30; Sun-Tue: 12:00, 1:45, 2:30, 4:25, 5:00, 7:05, 7:35, 9:35, 10:05 Basic (R) Fri-Sat: 11:55, 2:25, 4:55, 7:25, 9:50, 12:20; Sun-Tue: 11:55, 2:25, 4:55, 7:25, 9:50 Head of State (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:45, 2:35, 3:05, 4:50, 5:25, 7:10, 7:40, 9:25, 10:20, 11:50, 12:35; Sun-Thur: 12:45, 2:35, 3:05, 4:50, 5:25, 7:10, 7:40, 9:25, 10:20 The Pianist (R) 6:45, 9:55 The Core (PG-13) 12:15, 3:50, 6:55, 10:05 Dreamcatcher (R) 12:05, 3:15, 7:15. 10:25 Piglet’s Big Movie (G) 12:25, 2:40, 4:35 View From the Top (PG-13) 3:35, 8:15 Agent Cody Banks (PG) 1:35, 4:15 Bringing Down the House (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 2:00, 4:30, 7:05, 7:35, 9:45, 10:10, 12:00, 12:40; Sun-Tue: 2:00, 4:30, 7:05, 7:35, 9:45, 10:10 Chicago (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 1:15, 4:05, 6:50, 9:20, 11:55; Sun-Tue: 1:15, 4:05, 6:50, 9:20 Tears of the Sun (R) 1:05, 3:55, 8:10, 10:45 EVANS 12 CINEMAS Movies Good 4/11 - 4/15 Anger Management (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 12:55, 2:00, 3:10, 4:30, 5:20, 7:00, 7:45, 9:20, 10:00; Mon-Tue: 4:30, 5:20, 7:00, 7:45, 9:20, 10:00 Phone Booth (R) Fri-Sun 1:35, 3:35, 5:35, 7:35, 9:35; Mon-Tue: 5:35, 7:35, 9:35 A Man Apart (R) Fri-Sun: 2:30, 4:50, 7:30, 9:50; Mon-Tue: 4:50, 7:30, 9:50 Head of State (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 1:25, 3:25, 5:25, 7:25, 9:25; Mon-Tue: 5:25, 7:25, 9:25 Basic (R) 7:50, 9:55 The Core (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 1:10, 4:10, 6:55, 9:40; Mon-Tue: 4:10, 6:55, 9:40 What a Girl Wants (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 1:15, 2:10, 4:15, 5:10, 7:15, 8:10, 9:30; Mon-Tue: 4:15,

Dot Holland’s

5:10, 7:15, 8:10, 9:30 Piglet’s Big Movie (G) Fri-Sun: 1:30, 3:30, 5:30; Mon-Tue: 5:30 Agent Cody Banks (PG) Fri-Sun: 1:55, 4:25, 7:05, 9:15; Mon-Tue: 4:25, 7:05, 9:15 Bringing Down the House (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 2:20, 5:00, 7:20, 9:45; Mon-Tue: 5:00, 7:20, 9:45 The Pianist (R) Fri-Sun: 1:05, 4:05; Mon-Tue: 4:05 Chicago (PG-13) 7:10, 9:30 MASTERS 7 CINEMAS Movies Good 4/11 - 4/17 Anger Management (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 9:45; Sun: 1:00, 4:00, 7:00; Mon-Thur: 5:00, 7:30 Phone Booth (R) Fri-Sat: 1:30, 3:30, 5:30, 7:30, 9:40; Sun: 1:30, 3:30, 5:30, 7:30; Mon-Thur: 5:30, 8:00 A Man Apart (R) Fri-Sat: 1:05, 4:05, 7:05, 9:30; Sun: 1:05, 4:05, 7:05; Mon-Thur: 5:05, 7:35 What a Girl Wants (PG) Fri-Sat: 1:15, 4:15, 7:15, 9:25; Sun: 1:15, 4:15, 7:15; Mon-Thur: 5:15, 7:45 Basic (R) Fri-Sat: 1:20, 3:20, 5:20, 7:20, 9:20; Sun: 1:20, 3:20, 5:20, 7:20; Mon-Thur: 5:20, 7:50 Head of State (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 1:10, 3:10, 5:10, 7:10, 9:10; Sun: 1:10, 3:10, 5:10, 7:10; MonThur: 5:10, 7:55 Bringing Down the House (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 1:25, 4:25, 7:25, 9:35; Sun: 1:25, 4:25, 7:25; MonThur: 5:25, 7:40 REGAL 12 CINEMAS Movies Good 4/13 - 4/17 Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (PG-13) 1:55, 5:20, 9:05 The Jungle Book 2 (G) 2:40, 4:45, 7:25, 9:15 Kangaroo Jack (PG) 2:45, 5:05, 7:40, 9:40 Willard (PG-13) 2:15, 4:25, 7:00, 9:20 Deliver Us From Eva (R) 2:15, 4:35, 7:10, 9:30 Final Destination 2 (R) 2:25, 4:20, 7:35, 9:35 Darkness Falls (PG-13) 2:35, 4:50, 7:20, 9:45 Catch Me If You Can (PG-13) 2:10, 5:00, 7:45 Biker Boyz (PG-13) 2:05, 4:30, 7:05, 9:25 Wild Thornberrys (PG) 2:30, 4:15 Drumline (PG-13) 2:20, 4:40, 7:15, 9:50 Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (PG) 2:00, 5:10, 9:10 The Ring (PG-13) 7:30, 9:55

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BY TURNER

M

aybe it should be the other way around.

JOHN MAYER will open for COUNTING CROWS this summer in what should prove to one of the most intriguing pairings of the concert season.

Mayer, who won his first Grammy earlier this year for “Your Body Is a Wonderland,” will perform several tunes from his mega-selling “Room for Squares” disc as well as a few new songs from his next album. The two acts conclude their romp around the States with a Sept. 2 show at Charlotte’s Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre.

Jelly Time in Athens Dept.

Cult favorites THE FLAMING LIPS will celebrate the release of their new EP “Flight Test” with an April 15 gig at the 40 Watt Club in Athens. The group, who just concluded a very successful tour of Europe, have added several newly recorded songs for the disc. In addition to two new originals, The Lips offer up covers of RADIOHEAD’s “Knives Out,” KYLIE MINOGUE’s “Can’t Get You Out of My Head,” and BECK’s “The Golden Age.” The Lips last LP, “Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots,” was their best-selling disc to date, having moved over 230,000 copies since its debut last August.

STEVE WINWOOD has been keeping a low profile recently. The former leader of TRAFFIC’s last album of new material was 1997’s extremely underwhelming “Junction Seven,” but the singer-songwriter has a new disc and tour planned .

Winwood will mark his 40th year in the music biz with several nearby concerts: April 25 at the House of Blues in Myrtle Beach, April 26 as part of Charlotte’s Cityfest Live Series, and May 2 at Atlanta’s Music Midtown Festival.

Winwood, who is also opening several dates in June for the surviving members of the GRATEFUL DEAD, has his new disc, “About Time,” in stores June 17.

Another CD/DVD release from the

BY

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Grateful Dead is new and in stores this week. The fourth installment of the band’s extremely popular “View From the Vault” series comes from a July 1987 show in Oakland. The three-hour show highlights the usual hits (“Sugar Magnolia,” “Uncle John’s Band”) along with several tracks from their then-new LP “In the Dark.” An intense and very elongated (but aren’t they all?) take of the epic “Terrapin Station” is one of the album’s many high points. Bonus footage of Jerry’s ex-wives fighting over his royalties is, unfortunately, not included.

New CDs for this week include: THE JAYHAWKS’ “Rainy Day Songs,” LINKIN PARK’s “Meteora,” YO-YO MA’s “French Sonatas,” NORTH MISSISSIPPI ALLSTARS’ “Polaris,” GINUWINE’s “The Senior,” GODSMACK’s “Faceless,” RUSSELL CROWE AND 30 ODD FOOT OF GRUNTS’ “Other Ways of Speaking,” DUKE ROBILLARD AND HERB ELLIS’ “Conversations in Swing Guitar,” YO LA TENGO’s “Summer Sun,” and LUCINDA WILLIAMS’ “World Without Tears.”

Turner’s Quick Notes TIFFANY, move over: LISA MARIE PRESLEY’s first album, “To Whom It May Concern,” is out now …

METALLICA’s next studio disc, “St. Anger,” is set for release June 10 …

Officials in Birmingham, Ala., recently denied a permit for a WIDESPREAD PANIC show scheduled for this spring.

Officials said they didn’t want “that type of crowd.” Maybe UP WITH PEOPLE and GUY LOMBARDO were unavailable …

INCUBUS bassist DIRK LANCE has been sacked by the band and replaced by ROOTS guitarist BEN KENNEY … JAMES BROWN donated 400 tickets to military personnel at a recent show in Houston.

Turner’s Rock and Roll Jeopardy: A. This album sold over 30 million copies since its release 30 years ago.

ED TURNER

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PAYBACK IS PURGATORY According to press, Mick Jagger and Jerry Hall’s 18-year-old offspring Elizabeth is helping to fulfill some kind of wild karmic payback on the aging Stone with her “close friendship” with Michael Wincott – a man known for such roles as Top Dollar in “The Crow,” the warden Armand Dorleac in “The Count of Monte Cristo” and the ever-so-lecherous Rake of Hollywood. Mick is, reportedly, “livid.” And Wincott is denying that there is a relationship with the girl. Sort of.

Questions about it reportedly sent him into a laughing fit.

YEAH, BUT THIS WAR BITE IS INTERESTING Just when we had resolved to cease and desist with the musical war protest blurbs, this little gem happened. It’s interesting in part because these two men are going to sing for the Iraqi refugees, which is a more intense level of involvement than simply recording a song saying, “I don’t like the war,” or “Rah-Rah America.” But it’s also interesting because the two men in question are Irish rocker Bono Vox and Italian operaman Luciano Pavarotti. Sources say that, though not many people have left Iraq for neighboring countries, the possibility of a

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crisis cannot be ignored. Proceeds will go to the U.N. High Commissioner for Refugees, which has resources in place to take care of 350,000 people.

SHOULD IT EVEN BE A CRIME? So Vince Neil smacked around a record producer. The altercation happened last April outside a West Hollywood club. The hearing was April 7. Neil – which is his middle name, by the way – was given 100 hours of community service and ordered to pay restitution.

(The victim, Michael Schuman, apparently fell and broke his elbow.) Neil also has to be booked with the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department. And, in case you were wondering, his last name is Wharton.

NOT AS INTERESTING AS SMACKING AROUND A RECORD PRODUCER R&B singers K-Ci and JoJo are free on bail; the pair, charged with failing to pay taxes due to North Carolina for shows performed there between 1999 and 2001, was arrested last Saturday upon returning to their home state for a show in Raleigh. A court date is set for May 1.

COMPILED BY RHONDA JONES & LISA JORDAN Information compiled from online and other music news sources.

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Night Life

It’s your last call to see the Swingin’ Medallions at Last Call April 12.

Thursday, 10th The Bee’s Knees - Eryn Eubanks and The Fold Blind Pig - Tinsley Ellis Cadillac’s - Fantasy Cafe Du Teau - Bernard Chambers Casi’s Kitchen - Buzz Clif ford Club Argos - Special Benefit Show for the Late Miss Piggy with Petite DeJonville and Guest Enter tainers Coliseum - Green “Green Par ty” Continuum - Playa*Listic Thursday with DJ Corey Hill Cotton Patch - E&L Productions Coyote’s - The Men of Playgirl D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Famous Dave’s - Shinebox, Blind Mojo Fox’s Lair - Karaoke Greene Streets - Men’s Country and Western National Karaoke Contest Joe’s Underground - Mike Baideme Last Call - Natural Desire The Lighthouse - House Band Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Modjeska - The Patrick Blanchard Band, DJ Vegas Mike Orange Moon - Live Poetry Playground - Open Mic Shannon’s - Keith “Fossill” Gregory Soul Bar - Shaun Piazza, Bain Mat tox Stool Pigeons - Jason and Michael Surrey Tavern - Playback featuring Tutu D’Vyne Time Piecez - DJ Dance Par ty Whiskey Junction - DJ Chaos

Friday, 11th The Bee’s Knees - Jazz Sessions featuring Moniker Blind Pig - Shameless Dave and the Miracle

Whips, B. B. “Pops” Williams Cadillac’s - Fantasy Cafe Du Teau - Bernard Chambers Casi’s Kitchen - Buzz Clif ford Club Argos - Angels Cabaret, Colt and Giavanni Coliseum - Mistress of the Masters Continuum - Masters Week Cage Dance Contest Cotton Patch - Free Beer Band Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads - Masters Massacre D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Durango’s - Magic Hat Famous Dave’s - Shinebox, Blind Mojo Fox’s Lair - Roger Enevoldsen Greene Streets - Karaoke Highlander - Billarabi Joe’s Underground - Keith “Fossill” Gregory Last Call - Tony Howard The Lighthouse - Fabulous Expressions Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Modjeska - DJ Boriqua Orange Moon - Comedy Show Playground - John Kolbeck Shannon’s - Hour Syn Soul Bar - ‘80s Night Squeak y’s Tip Top - The Joshua Tapestry Surrey Tavern - Playback featuring Tutu D’Vyne Whiskey Junction - Voodoo Tuna, DJ Paul

Saturday, 12th The Bee’s Knees - The Kit ty Snyder Band, Shaun Piazza Blind Pig - Shameless Dave and the Miracle Whips, Crisis Cadillac’s - Roulet te with Steve Chappel Cafe Du Teau - Bernard Chambers Casi’s Kitchen - Buzz Clif ford Club Argos - Argos Angels, Petite DeJonville,

Claire Storm, Ms. Sasha Coliseum - Hot Male Strippers Cotton Patch - Free Beer Band Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads - Masters Massacre D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Durango’s - Magic Hat Famous Dave’s - Shinebox, Blind Mojo Fox’s Lair - Roger Enevoldsen Greene Streets - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Impulse Ride Last Call - The Swingin’ Medallions, Kinchafoonee The Lighthouse - House Band Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Modjeska - DJ Boriqua Orange Moon - The Joshua Tapestry Shannon’s - Keith “Fossill” Gregory Soul Bar - Roots-A-Fire Surrey Tavern - Playback featuring Tutu D’Vyne Whiskey Junction - Voodoo Tuna

Sunday, 13th Cafe Du Teau - The Last Bohemian Quar tet Casi’s Kitchen - Buzz Clif ford Orange Moon - Live Reggae The Shack - Karaoke, Sasha’s Talent Show Shannon’s - Shelley Watkins, Saundra Willis, Bar t Bell Somewhere in Augusta - Jayson and Michael Whiskey Junction - Terry and Jordan

Monday, 14th Continuum - Monday Madness Crossroads - Club Sin Dance Par ty with DJ Chris Greene Streets - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Mike Baideme

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ta’s s u g u A t Hottes b lu Nightc THURSDAY 8-11:30pm Natural Desire FRIDAY 8-11:30pm Tony Howard Band SATURDAY 7-11:00pm Swingin’ Medallions & Kinchafoonee “Beach Party” •• Jager Girls & Grey Goose Girls All Week •• Every Night: DJ Richie Rich follows live entertainment until 2:30am…

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Shinebox and Blind Mojo perform April 10-12 at Famous Dave’s.

Tuesday, 15th Adams Nightclub - Karaoke with Bill Tolber t The Bee’s Knees - Comin’ ‘Round the Bend Classic Country Blind Pig - Buzz Clif ford and Friends D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Greene Streets - Karaoke Highlander - Open Mic Night Joe’s Underground - Ruskin Stool Pigeons - Karaoke with Linda Eubanks

Wednesday, 16th The Bee’s Knees - Mellow Sounds Supperclub Casi’s Kitchen - Buzz Clif ford Continuum - Open Mic Jam Sessions Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads - The Family Trucksters D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Greene Streets - Women’s Country and Western National Karaoke Contest Joe’s Underground - Ruskin Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Playground - Karaoke with Mike and Scot t The Shack - Karaoke Shannon’s - Keith “Fossill” Gregory Somewhere in Augusta - Patrick Blanchard Soul Bar - Live Jazz

Upcoming Club Argos At Large Pageant - Club Argos April 18 Oleander - Crossroads - April 22

Elsewhere Tonic - The University of Georgia, Athens, Ga. -

April 10 The Used - Roxy Theatre, Atlanta - April 11 George Lopez - Tabernacle, Atlanta - April 11 Fastball - Red Light Cafe, Atlanta - April 12 Floetry - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta - April 13 The Flaming Lips - 40 Wat t Club, Athens, Ga. April 15 ...And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead Variety Playhouse, Atlanta - April 15 Third Eye Blind - 40 Wat t Club, Athens, Ga. April 16 Jimmy Buffett - HiFi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - April 17 Karl Denson’s Tiny Universe - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta - April 18-19 Camper Van Beethoven - Echo Lounge, Atlanta - April 18-19 Pearl Jam - HiFi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta April 19 Guster - The Tabernacle, Atlanta - April 19 Suwannee Bound Festival - Spirit of Suwannee Music Park, Live Oak, Fla. - April 19-20 Ellen DeGeneres - Woodruf f Ar ts Center, Atlanta - April 20 Ozma, Slowreader, Earlimart - Cot ton Club, Atlanta - April 20 Lamb of God - Uncle Doctor’s, Columbia, S.C. April 22; Masquerade, Atlanta - April 24 Taking Back Sunday - Cot ton Club, Atlanta April 23 Bright Eyes, Arab Strap - 40 Wat t Club, Athens, Ga. - April 25 Cher - Philips Arena, Atlanta - April 25 Superfly Jazz Fest - Various Venues, New Orleans, La. - April 25-May 4 Mose Allison, Ben Tucker - The Jazz Corner, Hilton Head Island, S.C. - April 27 Widespread Panic - Savannah Civic Center, Savannah, Ga. - April 29 Southern Culture on the Skids - Echo Lounge, Atlanta - May 1 Music Midtown Festival - Various Venues,

Billarabi rocks The Highlander Friday night.

Atlanta - May 2-4 The Cramps - 40 Wat t Club, Athens, Ga. - May 6 Stephen Malkmus - Echo Lounge, Atlanta - May 8 Avril Lavigne - The Arena at Gwinnet t Center, Duluth, Ga. - May 8 Angie Aparo - The Jazz Corner, Hilton Head Island, S.C. - May 11 Johnny Marr and the Healers - 40 Wat t Club, Athens, Ga. - May 12 Willie Nelson - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - May 16 Vic Chesnutt - 40 Watt Club, Athens, Ga. - May 17 Rick Springfield - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - May 17 Dave Chappelle - The Tabernacle, Atlanta - May 18 Kenny Loggins - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - May 25 Earth, Wind & Fire - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - May 25 James Taylor - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - June 2 Fleetwood Mac - Philips Arena, Atlanta - June 3 David Lee Roth - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - June 6 Dan Fogelberg - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - June 8

Neil Young and Crazy Horse, Lucinda Williams - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - June 11 Olivia New ton-John - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - June 15 Peter Gabriel - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - June 16 Heart - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta June 22 Aretha Franklin - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - June 24 Boston - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta June 29 Many tickets are available through TicketMaster outlets, by calling 828-7700, or online at w w w.ticketmaster.com. Tickets may also be available through Tix Online by calling 278-4TIX or online at w w w.tixonline.com. Night Life listings are subject to change without notice.

Deadline for inclusion in Night Life calendar is Tuesday at 4 p.m. Contact Rhonda Jones or Lisa Jordan by calling 738-1142, fa xing 736-0443 or e-mailing to rhonda_jones@metspirit.com or lisa_jordan@metspirit.com.

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News of the

Weird S

cientists at the University of Southern California will soon begin testing an artificial brain prosthesis (a silicon chip that mimics the hippocampus), which, if successful, can help people who cannot store future and recent memories of their experiences. One problem with the project (according to a March story in New Scientist): Subjects might not remember anything about the research or consenting to participate in it. (Another problem: Nearly everyone is glad not to be able to recall some negative experiences.)

• The small Jewish Skver sect of Hasidim (New Square, N.Y.) was energized in March when a fishcutter in the sect (along with his Christian co-worker) swore they heard a 20-pound carp shout apocalyptic warnings in Hebrew. The co-worker thought the carp was merely Satanic, but Zalmen Rosen, 57, said the fish’s soul was cautioning that the end is near, perhaps because of war in Iraq. Although the news spread throughout the community (aided by a feature in The New York Times), the carp itself met an inglorious end when the co-worker butchered it and sold it for gefilte fish.

Readers’ Choice • In March, former Northwest Airlines flight attendant Daniel Reed Cunningham was charged with slyly drugging the apple juice of a severely rambunctious 19-monthold baby during a 2002 flight. The mother became suspicious after tasting the juice and so slipped some into a container for later testing (which revealed Xanax).

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• Adding to the list of stories that were formerly weird but which now occur with such frequency that they must be retired from circulation: (61) Parent(s) who leave young children home alone for days at a time, certain that they can care for themselves, while they frolic, as a 31-year-old Placentia, Calif., woman did in December, leaving her kids, ages 7 and 4, for three weeks to go see a North Carolina man she had met on the Internet. (62) And men who steal industrial (slow-moving) vehicles and apparently try to outrun pursuing police cars, as a 29-year-old man did in February with a farm tractor (towing an 18-footwide chisel plow), piddling along for 20 miles from near Wheaton, Minn., into South Dakota, “chased” by sheriff’s deputies until he finally crashed.

Weird Science • Israeli Aircraft Industries Ltd. is now testing an “airplane” the size of a credit card (flight time: 20 minutes), containing cameras and transmitters to relay intelligence from battlefields, or from the insides of buildings by going through open windows. And the company TrapTec

(Escondido, Calif.) is now in the final testing of “anti-graffiti” sensors that are so responsive that they can identify taggers who use spray paint just by the distinctive hissing sound of the aerosol can (and automatically tell police the taggers’ location, via global positioning system technology).

• According to a January Los Angeles Times profile, biologist Gerry Kuzyk recently came upon, in a remote area of the Yukon, an 8-foot-high, half-mile swath of what he learned was caribou droppings; since no caribou had been sighted in the area for over 100 years, Kuzyk concluded that it was a massive, centuries-old accumulation that had been frozen but recently melted. And the Reuters news service reported in February that Antarctica’s oldest building has become largely unvisitable because it is being blocked in by droppings from the area’s 100,000 Adelie penguins.

• In a three-hour operation in February at the Nil Ratan Sircar Medical College Hospital in Calcutta, India, doctors performed what they claimed was the world’s first penis transplant. Dr. Ashok Ray, lead surgeon, had been in the process of removing a troublesome second penis on a 1year-old boy when someone elsewhere in the hospital informed him that a baby boy had just been born without one.

Leading Economic Indicators • New Concierge Services: In Melbourne, Australia, in March, John Stark, 60, and his wife and son pleaded guilty to running a scheme in which the Starks “ordered” large quantities of upscale goods, which two shoplifter-associates would then go “acquire” for them so that the Starks could resell them in the family’s Shopaholic discount stores. And a burglary ring in New York City was even more specific: According to March indictments, they stole only items specifically requested by individual patrons who had heard by word of mouth that they could drop off a wish list and then buy the items at a deep discount when the goods “came in.”

New Frontiers in Advertising • In February, a British ad agency began paying college students about $20 for each three-hour stint in which they walk around in public with a company’s logo semipermanently tattooed on their foreheads. And in December, another British agency signed up Sony Ericsson to pay for draping its advertising messages over large dogs (St. Bernards, Great Danes) whose owners accepted free dog-walking service in public parks in exchange for allowing the “moving billboards.”

Recent Obsessions in the News • Stanley Jollymore, 90, was written up in Toronto’s National Post for the “ball” he made out of 139,620 metallic wrappers from cigarette packages from his 70 years of smoking (February). And Gary Duschi, 52, was written up in the Virginian-Pilot (Hampton Roads, Va.) for his 8-mile-long chain of chewing gum wrappers (38-year habit, a million wrappers) (March). And Carl Masthay, 62, was written up in Riverfront Times (St. Louis) for compiling (over the last 12 years) and self-publishing an exhaustive, 757-page dictionary for translating between French and the Illinois Indian Kaskaskian dialect (a language no one has spoken for hundreds of years).

— Chuck Shepherd © United Press Syndicate

those long-term money-makers. It’s time to create a legacy for yourself.

Brezsny's Free Will Astrology ARIES (March 21-April 19)

I’ve been scouring herbal textbooks and tantric literature to find out if there’s such a thing as a laborintensive aphrodisiac — in other words, a stimulus that would inspire you to work hard to become a fantastic lover. I’m not saying your amorous skills are inferior, Aries, just that there’s room for improvement. The coming weeks will be an excellent time, astrologically speaking, to apply yourself to this worthy project. And if I do run across that labor-intensive aphrodisiac, I’ll let you know. In the meantime, pursue the leads that your intuition provides. And remember this: The capacities that make you a great lover have only marginally to do with physical techniques and mostly to do with emotional intelligence and spiritual ingenuity.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

The astrological factors coming to bear on you right now are uproarious yet profound; they’re mischievous, intense and catalytic. In alignment with this spirit, I’ve composed your horoscope by channeling appropriate bumper sticker slogans. Repeat the following affirmations frequently, Taurus, or print them on pieces of paper and tape them to your back. “Don’t follow me; I’m following my bliss.” “I’m not tense — just terribly, terribly alert.” “I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.” “I’m talking to myself — please don’t eavesdrop.” “Don’t worry — it only seems kinky the first time.” “Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.”

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

How to be the best Gemini you can be? A reader named Shimmering Elf wrote eloquently about that topic. His words should be helpful as you face this week’s Gemini-enhancing tests. “Be amazed with and in awe of yourself,” Shimmering Elf began. “And try to keep doing new things to justify your amazement and awe. Be like the Native American heyoka who rode his horse backward, wearing only an apron in a blizzard, with sweat running down his chest. Talk to yourself; people can join in if they want to. Have a ACROSS

large papier maché ego; redecorate it often. Be like Grandmother Spider who created the world by imagining it. Be like Pygmalion and fall in love with your creation. Never imitate. Be a tricky, sticky tickler. No one will ever solve the Sphinx’s precious riddle if she doesn’t know the answer herself.”

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

It’s time to go straight to the source, Cancerian.

Eliminate the middlemen — and the middlewomen, too. Don’t believe anyone who claims that he alone can connect you with the valuable stuff you need.

As much as possible, wean yourself from translators, agents and brokers. And don’t worry: This won’t result in you becoming lonely and isolated. I predict that whenever you shed a relationship with someone who uses and exploits you, you’ll open the way for a new link with a person who is respectful of your gifts.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

In a recent article in a British tabloid, Leo diva Madonna spoke contritely about why she published the controversial book “Sex” back in 1992. “I was just being an ego-driven nutcase,” she confessed. This admission impressed me. Everyone makes bad decisions motivated by out-of-control egotism, but few of us have the courage to admit it — let alone a celebrity that the press regards as a megalomaniac. I suggest you draw inspiration from Madonna’s example in the next few days, Leo. If you cop to a past outbreak of unseemly arrogance, I predict you’ll unleash magic that will ultimately spawn fresh accomplishments for which you can be righteously proud.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Famed TV producer Sherwood Schwartz had a hand in making more than 700 TV shows, and he coauthored theme songs for the sitcoms “Gilligan’s Island” and “The Brady Bunch.” Every year he collects about $60,000 in royalties for those tunes, written so many years ago. I’d like to alert you, Virgo, to the fact that you’re now in a phase similar to the one Schwartz was in when he got inspired to compose

32 Great plays may 58 Five-foot wading

be seen in it 33 TV dial: Abbr.

35 Sportscaster morning Cross 11 Bit of sugar, 37 Far or down say: Abbr. follower 14 Historical 38 Sound on a chapters winter’s night 15 Big ___ 41 Apple not for (German gun in eating W.W. I) 43 Sawbones 16 Olive ___ 44 Word repeated 17 Slangy dissents in the Beatles title “___ Said 18 Vinegary ___ Said” 19 Baton Rouge 45 Teasdale and campus others 20 A driver may 47 Bridal-notice come to it word 23 Pay back?

49 Robert 24 Number of Devereux’s weeks per earldom annum 53 Stick one’s nose 25 Brownish(in) orange 55 Fed. 27 “28 Days” construction subject overseer 29 Funny Philips 57 Second person

New York Times Crossword Puzzle

1 Miffed 5 Early in the

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE S P A C E D

P U S H E R

A T H E N A

K I M I N A L F E L E T R J I N A M A R E L

S T Y X O M M A A N X I I W N A I X N N Y

S A T U P

C H A T S

H O B O

O T T O

M U R K

L A P I S

O A R S

F L O E

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W O O F A L A S A H E A D

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

A T O R E L T S Y N O E C T P E E T N N Y

M A C H O

A R M A G N E A T C T U L O R A A T S H H E

R E D B I R C H

T A R

I N D O O R

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N A H

birds 62 Potpie morsel 63 Shell figure 64 “Look ___ hands!”

65 Superlative finish 66 “Newhart” actor Tom 67 Old accusation 68 Scores: Abbr.

69 Flunky 70 Catbird seat?

DOWN 1 Motion detector 2 One with a vision 3 Gung-ho 4 In ___ (actually) 5 Adders 6 Computer whiz 7 Afternoon hour in Bonn 8 Memo abbr.

9 Old bloc in Parliament 10 Cheesy snacks 11 It’s not free of charge 12 A 6-Down may oversee them 13 Opposite of sing.

21 Piece of pipe 22 Francis and Dahl 26 Home land?

28 Shade of green 30 Not use plainly 31 Web address ending 34 Legal scholar’s deg.

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In his book “Crying: A Natural and Cultural History of Tears,” Tom Lutz asserts that people don’t cry as much as they used to. The English of the Victorian era, supposedly renowned for their stuffy behavior, put us to shame with their abundant outpouring of tears. So what’s our excuse? There’s as much, if not more, to be mournful about nowadays; and we certainly don’t suffer from a lack of events to spur our cathartic joy and empathy. Would you like to volunteer to do something about the modern weeping deficit, Libra? In the coming days, you’ll have rich opportunities to unleash tears of breakthrough and release.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

I direct your attention, Scorpio, to Dawn Baumann Brunke’s book, “Animal Voices: Telepathic Communication in the Web of Life.” There she champions the value of communing clairvoyantly with other species. Learning this skill is not only helpful for becoming closer to beloved pets, she says.

It can also be useful for pest control. She gives examples of people who rid their homes of ants and spider mites simply by striking up telepathic conversations with them. My theory is that this same approach can be applied to pests in human form — especially by you in the coming week. Rev up your considerable mental powers and psychically ask jerks, annoyances and bores to stop bugging you.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

When I recorded my last music CD, a major label spent $180,000 on my band’s recording sessions at a state-of-the-art studio. The resulting music was exciting, but sales were paltry due to the company’s inept marketing strategy. The new album I’m working on with my friend George is low-tech and self-financed, done completely on his computer in his bedroom.

The experience is humbling but exhilarating. I’m free of my old rock star fantasies. There’s no danger of having to deal with the alienating influences of fame, constant travel, and the insanity of the music business. I have the relaxing luxury of creating music just because it’s fun. I recommend that you make a comparable transition, Sagittarius. Which of your aptitudes and inclinations would you enjoy more if they weren’t hemmed in by unrealistic dreams, oppressive duties, and the stultifying pressures of careerism?

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Puzzle by Elizabeth C. Gorski

38 Construction

crew

39 It’s not free of

charge

42 “Myra

Breckinridge” star

46 Single-masters

41 Philosopher’s

study

54 Center of

Florida

56 At times it’s

stolen

48 Yuletide offering 59 “Wishing won’t

40 “What’s this ___ 50 Nomination

…?”

1-900-950-7700

$1.99 per minute • 18 & over • Touchtone phone required • C/S 612-373-9785 • www.freewillastrology.com/

13

40

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36 Bugs, briefly

You Can Call Rob Brezsny, day or night, for your Expanded Weekly Horoscope

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PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

Feeling bereft because of the war, I found myself longing to connect with sources of inspiration that have fueled me over the years. I scoured closets, shelves, and storage lockers, collecting power objects from every period of my life. They included the books I’ve written and C.G. Jung’s “Psychology and Alchemy,” photos of my daughter and the woman I love, a painting made for me by a friend, my favorite baseball card from childhood, and many other treasures. In the ensuing days, I made the freaky discovery that five other people I know had independently felt the urge to undertake a similar gathering. A ritual like this would be perfect for you right now, Pisces. I suggest you assemble 22 of your most important symbols and create a sanctuary to protect you from the world’s chaos.

— © Rob Brezsny

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AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

While out on a walk, I laughed with incredulity and derision when I spied a front yard where gorgeous poppies and tulips were in full bloom — surrounded by an eight-foot-tall cage of chicken wire. Once my instinctive response subsided, I realized there was probably a rational reason for the apparent lunacy, like maybe it kept the flowers from being devoured by marauding deer. My next thought leaped to you, Aquarius. I knew that the fortress protecting the delicate blooms was a perfect metaphor for what you should create for yourself in the coming week.

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CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Your horoscope this week consists of the words of poet Mary Oliver, whose “White Pine” describes an experience analogous to one you’ll soon have: “I have read that, in Africa, when the body of an antelope, which all its life ate only leaves and grass and drank nothing but wild water, is first opened, the fragrance is almost too sweet, too delicate, too beautiful to be borne. It is a moment which hunters must pass through carefully, with concentrated and even religious attention, if they are to reach the other side, and go on with their individual lives.”

approver

make ___”

60 Defense grp.

51 Doings

61 “You said it!”

52 Cancels

62 Get-up-and-go

For answers, call 1-900-285-5656, $1.20 a minute; or, with a credit card, 1-800-814-5554.

Annual subscriptions are available for the best of Sunday crosswords from the last 50 years: 1-888-7-ACROSS. Online subscriptions: Today's puzzle and more than 2,000 past puzzles, nytimes.com/diversions ($19.95 a year).

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If You’re not Partying at Argos, The Tower of Argos or at The Shack ... You’re Not Partying

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have good driving record. Per form cable television installations (interior and ex terior) from tap to customer’s equipment for the reception of cable, internet and other company services that are of fered for single, multi-family and/or commercial dwellings.

Must also per form (new connects and reconnects), disconnects, and service changes as well as assuring proper signal levels and picture quality on all television sets. NO PHONE CALLS. Please apply at Char ter Communications, 536 E. Robinson Ave., Grovetown, GA. EOE (04/10#8072)

Augusta School of Massage Inc. Full Body Massage!

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For Sale

April 13th, 14th & 15th

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READINGS BY

MRS. GRAHAM

2477 Wrightsboro Rd.

C A R D R E A D I N G S

Mrs. Graham, Psychic Reader, Advises on all affairs of life, such as love, marriage, and business. She tells your past, present and future. Mrs. Graham does palm, tarot card, and crystal readings. She specializes in relationships and reuniting loved ones.

341 S. Belair Rd.

Professional Therapeutic Massage Serving the Augusta Boxing Club 4 years. Boxers & Golfers Welcome.

Hotel Calls, 706-592-9450 or 399-3216 (04/10#8070)

Membership

Services

PINE RIDGE COUNTRY CLUB Membership Drive No Initiation Fee Limited Time Only For More Information Call the Business Of fice 803.637.5975 425 Pine Ridge Road Edgefield, SC 29824 (04/24#8048)

Photography: Weddings, model por t folios, family por traits. Call 706-855-8562 or email dfcardwell@knology.net (04/17#8066)

Real Estate For Sale By Owner Evans, 3 Br. 2 Ba. Below Market $81,000 706-860-9289 (04/10#8074)

733-2040

Channeled consultations, self healing, instruction and support by Laurel Steinhice

Two Wreckers for Sale 1984 Chevy Wrecker $8500 1994 Nissan U.D. Rollback, $18,500 Financing Available Call Jimmy Davidson 706-738-0911 or 706-597-0096 (05/08#8068)

PLACE YOUR CLASSIFIED AD TODAY! CALL 738-1142

Call Today For Details!

Open from 9 a.m. til 9 p.m.

Call (706) 733-5851

Religion Metropolitan Community Church of Our Redeemer A Christian Church reaching to all: including Gay, Lesbian, and Transgendered Christians.

Meeting at 311 Seventh Street, 11 am and 7 pm each Sunday. 722-6454 MCCAugusta@aol.com www.mccoor.com

Resort Rentals Amelia Island, Florida 2 Bedroom 2 bath direct ocean front condo in the hear t of historical Fernandina Beach, Florida. A convenient location without the crowds.

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733-4187 ❤ 733-8550 Professional Massage By experienced male.

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A great way to rela x House & Hotel Calls Only 706-589-9139 (04/10#8069)

Bhakti Yoga Yoga for Every Body (706) 556-8490 (706) 825-2113

(803) 441-0053 425 Carolina Springs Rd North Augusta, SC

Thur Special Benefit Show for the late Miss Piggy @ 11:00 hosted

by Petite De Jonville & Tues Rum Tuesday Featuring many guest All Barcardi Entertainers. Great Drink Drinks $3 Specials.

Fri

Angels Caberet & Colt & Giavanni

Sat

Argos Angels’ Petite De Jonville, Claire Storm & Ms. Sasha

3512 1/2 Wheeler Road • Augusta, GA 30909

30 Year Old NYSE Company is expanding in this area.

Seeking 12 energetic & professional people interested in earning an ex tra $500 to $1,000 per week. PT/FT 706-854-0270 (04/10#8065)

The Shack

The CSRA’s Only All Night Place

1923 Walton Way Open Daily @ 6:00pm

We exceed the minimum requirements for certification through the National Certification Board for Therapeutic Massage & Bodywork.

Business Opportunities

For Free Consultation on clearing up your desk.

Please call 1-866-201-3516 (04/10#8017)

Club Argos & The Tower of Argos Leather Bar

Augusta School of Massage Inc. is now accepting applications for day & evening courses. Ask how to receive a free massage table.

SPECIAL READINGS WITH CARD

46

Wed Karaoke & 241 Frozen Margaritas & Coladas, $2 Bottled Beer & $9 All you Can drink

COMING EVENTS

Sun

Fri-4/18 Club Argos At Large Pageant Argos welcomes Gay, Lesbian, Bi, BDSM, Swingers, TVTS & all openminded patrons

Call us @ 481-8829 or email us at ClubArgos@aol.com

Volley Ball @ 5:00, Karaoke @ 8:00 & Sasha’s Talent Show @ 12:30

Come have fun where the party doesn’t end at 3:00am!

Club Argos, The Tower of Argos & The Shack also invite you to the Green Party. A 36 Hour Circuit Party hosted by and held at The Parliament House of Augusta. Tickets are $20/Day + $10 Membership.

For more information Call (706) 722-1155.

Located at 1250 Gordon Highway.

THE COLISEUM

Premier Entertainment Complex & High Energy Dance Music Thursday, 4/10 Green “Green Party” Friday, 4/11 Mistress of The Masters

Saturday 4/12 Hot Male Strippers XXX Rated

Drink Specials: WED $7 Wet N' Wild SAT $2 Bud/Bud Light

Open Mon-Fri 8pm-3am Sat 8pm-2:30am

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Travel

706-733-2603

Email: ColiseumAugusta@aol.com

Wanted

SPRING CLEANING? Donate your used windows, doors, cabinets, furniture and fixtures to the Habitat ReStore located at 1004 Walton Way. Call for free pick up, (706) 3647637. All proceeds benefit Habitat for Humanity’s homebuilding program.

Wheels

www.metspirit.com

We want your dead junk or scrap car bodies.

We tow away and for some we pay.

Dead Bodies Wanted

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OR

706/798-9060

47

Call 738-1142 to place your Classified ad today!

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Miscellaneous For Sale Genuine English (Raleigh) Lightweight ladies touring bike.

Very good condition. $35.00, needs new tires, call Maddie 860-4745. (06/12#8073) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– GE Refrigerater, runs great, looks OK, $35.00 Delivery available ex tra charge. Call 706-793-1563. (06/12#8071) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Infiniti floor speakers, with tweeter, midrange, woofer and passive radiator, $125, Call 869-8931. (06/05#8063) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Recliner, blue, fair condition $25.00. Dinet te table w/ 4 chairs $40.00 Call 706-868-9827. (06/05#8064) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Sony five CD carousel with remote, box, manual, works great, $75, call 869-8931. (06/05#8061) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Baritone Brass Instrument w/ case, good condition, $700.00 Please call 803-652-8312, between 7 pm & 9 pm.

(05/29#8052) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Antique Sewing Machine Tables with oak tops. (40” X 20” & 30” X 30”) Excellant condition, $50 each. Call 706-868-1384 after 5 pm. (05/29#8050) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Bicycle Built For Two - Trail-mate - red - excellant condition, $195.00 OBO 706-541-0656 (05/29#8051) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Adult DVD - 10 adult DVD’s $80.00 for all. 803-648-5360 (05/29#8053) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Sofa and Loveseat - loose pillowback, beige with burgandy, green and blue accents. Excellent condition. Sold as a set! $250.00. 706-836-3120 (05/15#8035) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Bedroom dresser with large mirror $50.00; Octagan shaped lamp table $15.00; Over tub shower bench $50.00, Call 706736-7356 (05/15#8034) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Electric Lift Chair, Recliner.Blue by Invacare. Paid $900.00 new, will sell for $500.00. Will hold a very large person. Call 790-0793. (05/08#8026)

Three End Tables and Night Stand, very nice solid wood All for $25.00 One large microwave and stereo receiver & speaker - All for $30.00 Call - 706-774-6400. (05/08#8027) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Boxwood Shrub, three years old, 18 inches tall $2.50 Call 706-863-3518 (05/08#8028) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Sears 3HP Power Reel Mower; 7 Blade Power Propelled. $150.00 Call 855-7162 (05/08#8029) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Books - Most $2.00 - $3.00 - Lots on Holocaust - Wiesel, Levi - Others. 706 737-6219, Leave Message. (05/08#8030) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Childs wood play fort with lad, slide, sandbox. Treated/GC, great for spring/summer. 706-840-8635 LM. $75 OBO (05/01#8014) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Bathroom/Vanity mirror 3 foot x 29 inch with chrome slides for top and bot tom. $25 OBO, 706-840-8635 LM (05/01#8014) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Porsche Service Sign $50.00 service sign from dealership 11”X14” pic available. PlatinumPorscheX@aol.com (04/17#8007) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Yearbooks: Mercer (The Cauldron) 1934 & 35; University of Richmond (The Web) 1948 & 49; John Marshall High 1945 Richmond, Virginia (Marsallite) $49 each 733-7735 (04/10#8001) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Sony 5-disc CD carousel w/remote, works great, $75. 8698931 (04/10#8000) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Magna Flip 400 Boys Bicycle Ages 9 - 13 $55/OBO 706869-8888 (04/10#7999 ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Scott 6.75HP Lawnmower (John Deere) GC with bagger $60.00/OBO 706-869-8888 (04/10#7998) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 36” Metal full glass ex terior French Door New $95.00 706541-0656 (04/10#7995)

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE The Metropolitan Spirit has a full time, entry level sales position available.

The ideal candidate is ambitious, self-motivated, competitive, persuasive, positive, creative, and a great communicator in person and on paper.

Account executives develop new business, work with clients and production artists to create ads that get results.

If you possess an entrepreneurial drive and are up for a challenge with big rewards, please send your resume, with cover letter to:

Advertising Sales c/o The Metropolitan Spirit P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914 or fax to 706-733-6663 EOE

A P R 1 0

M

y husband enjoys giving shoulder rubs to female friends in social situations.

This doesn’t happen often, because we don’t go to many parties, but it makes me really uncomfortable. I can’t just stand there and smile. I usually leave the room. He says he’ll stop, but complains that he feels stifled if he can’t be his naturally warm, friendly self and get satisfaction out of giving people pleasure.

He says he now feels like he’s in handcuffs when we go to parties. Am I being unreasonable in asking him to stop?

—Stiff Shoulders Too It’s admirable that your husband is intent on easing suf fering in the world, star ting with that of girls in sexy lit tle dresses. Luckily, there are plenty of on-the-make single guys to work the sore spots on their shoulders where their bra straps dig in. But how about garbagemen and their neck knots? When’s the last time your husband invited them in for a mini-massage and maybe a soothing cucumber facial? And how about the 2,000-year-old waitress, on her feet eight hours a day at the diner? She’s probably been waiting a lifetime for a warm, giving man like your husband to sit her down, give her bunions a tickle and get frisky with her varicose veins.

Before you know it, he’ll be of fering seaweed wraps and aromatherapy rubdowns to the huddled masses ignored by single mashers with wandering hands — that is, if “the healing power of touch” is more than an excuse to be a touchy-feely heel. Too bad you (and everybody standing around feeling sorry for you at par ties) already have him pegged: married masher with wandering hands. Ick-ola.

On your first date, did he ask the girl at the nex t table for her number, then borrow a pen from you so he could write it down? That’s pret ty much what he’s doing now — trying to have his wedding cake and jam it down your throat, too. Maybe that’s why you don’t get invited to many par ties: Nobody wants to watch his midlife crisis being rubbed around the room, or watch his wife being forced to watch. This says some pret ty unflat tering things, not just about him, but about you: “Hello, My Name Is ...

Mrs. Stepford.”

Unless the job description on his ta xes reads “licensed masseur,” marriage is supposed to mean the end of serial shoulder rubs to single girls — his at tempt to keep hit ting on the chicks, or at least have the illusion he is, but

with plausible deniability. It could also be a sign that he’s rubbing more than necks at more intimate gatherings. Poor dear can’t “be himself”?

Well, boo hoo. None of us can. That’s what being civilized means: We can’t just walk around let ting it all hang out (or put ting our hands all over what other people have hanging out). If we did, just verbally speaking, we’d all have perpetual black eyes from saying stuf f like, “Is that really your hair, or is there a mangy woodland animal clinging to your scalp?” and, “Is that your husband on your arm, or just a disagreeable patch of scaly flesh you forgot to ex foliate before you came to the par ty?”

I’ve been seeing a woman for four months. For two months, I’ve been staying at her place on Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights. I work the remaining nights, but in a couple weeks, I’ll be off nights for good. I’d like to see her more frequently, but she’s nervous about “upping the ante.” How do I manage my upcoming free time so I don’t make her feel smothered?

—Spacer Instincts Smar t retailers understand that the perception of scarcity elevates desirability. Just adver tise, “SPECIAL OFFER! FIRST FIVE CUSTOMERS ONLY!” and people will run each other down to buy laminated dog poop mounted on teak. The law of supply and demand ex tends to relationships as well. If you want this woman to keep supplying you with her presence, don’t demand any more of it than you’re already get ting. The idea is to make her miss you, not the long hours you were working.

As for the big white patches soon to appear on your calendar, there’s no time like a couple weeks from now to pick up a seriously timeconsuming hobby, such as sculpting the architectural wonders of the world by gluing together varnished moose droppings (available by the jar in Sweden). Or, as the Taschen book “Ex tra/Ordinary Objects” suggests, “If you don’t want a whole jar, go for the dangling clip-on earrings made from them.” Copy them, and expand the line to bracelets, rings, and necklaces. Not only will you be conserving your relationship and the planet, it could mark the beginning of a whole new career for you, as the Harry Winston of the excrement repurposing industry. Your mot to? “Any guy can give a girl a diamond.”

— © 2003, Amy Alkon

Got A Problem?

Write Amy Alkon

171 Pier Ave., Box 280 • Santa Monica, CA 90405 or e-mail AdviceAmy@aol.com

2 0 0 3

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Seeking BM, 37-47, N/S, for friendship, love, and beyond. ☎872160 MORE THAN AVERAGE Slender SBF, 53, 5’2”, independent, Aries, smoker, loves music, conversation, laughter.

Seeking independent, mature SBM, 48-65, for friendship first. ☎369627 NURSES SEEKS DOCTOR LOVE SWF, 24, blonde/brown, full-figured, attractive, financially independent, N/S, N/D, single mom of one, desires for special SWM, 24-33, honest, employed, N/S, N/D, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎323553 A GOOD-HEARTED WOMAN Honest SWF, 5’4”, long dark brown/hazel, would like to meet a trustworthy SWM for a good, honest, open relationship. I smoker, so another smoker is preferred. Grovetown. ☎111411 ARE YOU THE ONE? College educated SWF, early 40s, 5’6”, 136lbs, extroverted, enjoys camping, country living, animals, movies, traveling. Seeking same in SWM, 40-50, similar interests. ☎965910 BE HONEST SF, 60, enjoys good conversations, going to Church, yard sales, music. Seeking SM, 5070, N/S, likes to go to Church. ☎965856 MAKE ME LAUGH SWF, 41, Scorpio, smoker, seeks WM, 35-50, who is fun, likes to share life with me! ☎368509 HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER SWF, 57, 5’11”, 130lbs, very trim, Capricorn, N/S, enjoys canoeing, backpacking, nature photography, and hiking. Seeking WM, 52-62, N/S, with similar interests. ☎358288 STILL SEARCHING SWF, 47, 5’8”, 148lbs, Sagittarius, smoker, interests vary, seeks SWM, 37-48, for LTR. ☎342017 GOD IS OUR SAVIOR SWF, 50, Sagittarius, N/S, loves Christian music, Christian tv, and reading the Bible.

Seeking BCM, 50-55, N/S, who sees things the same as I do. ☎299661 COMPANIONSHIP DWF, 48, enjoys antiquing, travel, dining out, movies and more. Seeking DWM, 48-58, for loving, tender relationship. ☎732056 A LOT TO OFFER SWPF, 39, 5’2”, 155lbs, loves, sports, dining out, cooking, movies, walks in the park, playing pool, travel, dining out. Seeking young man, with similar interests, for friendship and companionship. ☎321666 GET INTO THE GROOVE SWF, 43, 5’4”, 110lbs, slender, active, Capricorn, N/S, enjoys playing frisbee and nature walks. Seeking WM, 37-47, wide shoulders a+. ☎301123 TO THE POINT DWF, 37, administrative assistant, Capricorn, N/S, seeks WM, 29-49, N/S, occasional drinker ok, honest, for dating. ☎299335

HOPELESS ROMANTIC SBF, 25, no children, very independent, Leo, N/S, seeks BM, 26-40, N/S, with whom to share movies, dancing, and quality time. ☎300467 MEET THE CRITERIA? SBF, 32, mother, smoker, seeks considerate male, 35-42, with capability to be understanding and sincere in a relationship. ☎288180 ENVELOPING EMBRACE Kind-hearted SBCF, 52, non-smoker, enjoys dining out, attending church. Seeking loving SBCM, 52-65, with similar interests. ☎287845 FALL IN LOVE AGAIN SF, 46, dark complexion, cosmetologist, seeks caring, sensitive, employed man, 4656, for long walks, cuddling, and more. ☎284967 FIRST TIME AD! Employed SBF, 35, no children, wants to meet a laid-back, spontaneous man, 33-41, race unimportant, to get to know as a friend and maybe progress to more! ☎280007 OLD-FASHIONED GIRL SWF, 34, attractive, blonde, with good morals and values, Leo, N/S, enjoys nature, cooking, animals, movies, and home life. Desiring marriage-minded, family-oriented WM, 32-45. ☎261032 SEEKING DEDICATED PERSON SWF, late-30s, blonde/blue, is dedicated and looking for the same in a man, for friendship first, possibly more. ☎251283 LEO SBF, 31, wants to share quality time with a man who loves movies, dining out, quiet times, for friendship. ☎202217 GIVE ME A JINGLE SBF, 46, is loving, kind and sweet, mature at every beat, can weave anything and loves to sing. Want to sing with her? ☎200842 TABLE FOR TWO SWF, 57, 5’4”, blond/green, easygoing, outgoing, enjoys cooking, fishing, reading, NASCAR. Seeking honest, respectful S/DWM, 57-65. ☎965851 BE MY FRIEND Attractive SWF, 29, 5’7”, 129lbs, brown/brown, N/S, no kids, never married, seeks SWM, 20-37, in shape, friendship first, possible LTR. ☎945103 HONESTY IS KEY DWF, 38, mother of two/homemaker, loves Bon Jovi, dining out, quiet time at home.

Seeking honest, sincere SWM, 38-45. Could it be you? ☎910404 TRUE: One is a lonely number. DWF, no children, self-supporting, my physical appearance won’t embarrass you, retired and seeking a loving, truthful, reliable man, 50-75. ☎896701 SWEET AND SINGLE SBF, 30, Scorpio, N/S, student, enjoys quality time, movies, dining out, quiet times. Seeking friendship with SBM, 29-43, for possible LTR. ☎890152 TIRED OF BEING ALONE SWF, 49, 5’9”, 164lbs, Cancer, N/S, social drinker, mother of one, enjoys music, dining out, reading. Seeking SWM, 44-59, N/S, for LTR. ☎890570 SERIOUS ABOUT LIFE SBCF, 50, 165lbs, Scorpio, N/S, church-goer, mother of one, seeks outgoing, christian SBM, 50-60, N/S, with good heart, who is serious, for LTR. ☎885036 GOOD GIRL Attractive SWF, 38, 5’4”, 145lbs, blonde/hazel, N/S, Pisces, enjoys outdoors.

Seeking tall SWM, 30-42. ☎864247 BEACH BUM SBF, 31, with bachelor’s degree in communications, Taurus, N/S, loves dining out, movies, working out, and reading. Seeking man, 26-36. ☎869451

ARE YOU SINCERE? SF, 28, blond/blue, enjoys the gym, time with family and friends. Looking for an honest guy, 26-35, who is not into games. ☎857530 A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN... inside and out. SBF, 26, 5’10’’, light complexion, enjoys movies, music, just having a good time. Seeking honest, sincere man for LTR. ☎861401 SINCERE BEAUTY Sophisticated SBCF, 23, 5’2”, 140lbs, interested in seeking educated, independent, employed SBM, 23-30, long walks, stimulating conversation, friendship, dating, more. ☎849311 GENUINE GEMINI Sweet SWF, 21, 6’, in medical field, enjoys Nascar, long walks. Seeking tall SWM, 25-35, with similar interests. Friendship first, possible LTR. ☎848654 OLD-FASHIONED VALUES Honest, relaxed, christian SBF, 56, Aries, N/S, enjoys cooking, dining out, quiet times at home. Seeking marriage-minded, financially secure SBM, 50-56, N/S, for LTR. ☎829149 GOD LOVER Athletic, shy SBF, 33, 5’5”, 160lbs, Gemini, smoker, enjoys church, dining out, cooking, traveling, shopping, reading. Seeking outgoing man, 35-50, smoker, for LTR. ☎709843 NO GAMES PLEASE DWF, 33, 5’10”, full-figured, brown/hazel, selfemployed mother of three, seeks WM, 25-45, honest, faithful, devoted, for fun, friendship, LTR. ☎680330 TWO PIECES OF A PUZZLE Full-figured, very attractive, independent woman, 31, 5’2”, seeks someone special to spend time with. You: honest, fun-loving, varied interests. ☎685405 STRONG WILL SBF, 45, outgoing, attractive, youthful, enjoys writing, music, traveling. Seeking mature, strong-willed SBM, 35-48, for friendship. ☎965893 AN AUTUMN SPECIAL Hard-working WF, 38, 5’4”, 100lbs, blonde/brown, enjoys biking, watersports, cooking, and travel. Seeking WM, 35-50, for possible LTR. ☎965904 GOOD-HEARTED DWF, 61, 5’9”, honest, neat in appearance, with a good sense of humor. Seeking WM, 60-70, who’s honest and caring. ☎574264 SENSE OF HUMOR REQUIRED SF, 33, 5’, full-figured, cocoa complexion, looking for friendship leading to relationship with SM, 25-40, who doesn’t play games. ☎579505

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Monday-Saturday 10am-9pm 2635 Washington Road | Augusta, Georgia 30904 | 706.738.7777 www.windsorjewelers.net MAKE MY HEART LAUGH SBF, 22, 5’8”, 155lbs, part-time student, seeks sensual, kind man with a great heart, for movies, dining out, and open-minded conversation. ☎565120 Men Seeking Women

SEEKING FOR LOVE Independent, attractive SBM, 28, Leo, non smoker, likes dining, movies. Seeking woman, 18-40, to have a good time, for casual friendship. Race open ☎365633 KEEP IT SIMPLE SWM, 45, carpenter, enjoys travel, sports, fishing, dancing, music, playing cards.

Seeking SF, who enjoys the same. ☎343229 SEEKING BBW SWM, 41, 6’, black/green, enjoys reading, movies, dining out, travel, dancing, quiet times. Seeking queen-size female, with a heart to match, for love and romance. ☎325398 SHOW ME YOUR SMILE SM, 44, enjoys kayaking, cooking, art, biking, exercise, outdoors. Looking for a female, 3450, who has the same kinds of interests. ☎858979 LET’S CHAT SWM, 53, Scorpio, N/S, college-educated, easygoing, enjoys travel and beaches.

Seeking friendship, possible LTR with a WF, 45-55, N/S. ☎358466

LOOKING FOR LOVE Loving, passionate SWM, 50, Pisces, non smoker, seeks WF, 35-50, to date and more.

Friends, leading to LTR. ☎353217 WORTH THE CALL Attractive SAM, 37, Pisces, non smoker, seeks woman, 18-45, non smoker, for dating and fun times. ☎349386 TAKE ME AS I AM SWM, 31, 5’6”, medium build, brown/blue, Gemini, N/S, enjoys movies, and more.

Seeking SWF, 25-35, N/S, N/D, who enjoys good times, dating, for LTR. ☎341418 COMPATIBLE WOMAN WANTED DWM, 46, 5’9”, N/S, slim build, Capricorn, N/S, enjoys old cars, boating, classic rock, horror movies, mountains, beach. Seeking SWF, 38-46, N/S, for LTR. ☎341454 EARLY RETIREMENT SM, 63, works part time, deep sense of spiritual conviction, loves the Bible, fellowship, life.

Searching for similar woman, 45-56. ☎279329 MAY GOD BE WITH US Christian with deep spiritual convictions.

DWM, 61 years young, 5’11”, 155lbs, full head of salt-and-pepper hair. Seeking S/DWCF, 45-60, N/S, N/D, attractive, feminine, slender, good health, self-supporting.

Must exercise four times weekly, do four military push-ups and carry your own backpack five miles to keep up with me physically.

Enjoys outdoor activities such as rafting, hiking, swimming and canoeing. I’m willing to participate in your interests also. Waiting to hear from you. ☎327909 SAY YOU, SAY ME SWM, 25, 5’10”, 165lbs, medium build, brown/blue, Gemini, N/S, outgoing, energetic, seeks WF, 19-28, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎302503

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M B D F H C LTR

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To respond to ads using a YOU SUPPLY... the marshmallows. I’ll supply the bonfire, SWM, 36, truck driver, Aries, N/S, loves camping. Seeking a woman, 40-58. ☎316730 JUST YOUR AVERAGE GUY SWM, 37, N/S, likes motorcycles, fishing, camping, farming, relaxing weekends.

Seeking SWF, 25-40, to join me on life’s journey. ☎287476 IF YOU’RE READING THIS... why not give me a call? SWCM, 19, 6’, 185lbs, brown/blue, relaxed attitude, Capricorn, N/S, seeks WF, 19-25, N/S, for possible LTR. ☎938173 KNOCK-KNOCK, WHO’S THERE? Call me and find out. SWM, 34, Cancer, N/S, loves to tell jokes. Seeking WF, 25-39, N/S, for friendship and relationships. ☎775609 SEEKING TRUE LOVE Handsome SBM, 39, compassionate, financially secure, seeks romantic, attractive, compassionate BF, 21-45, for romantic dinners, movies, walks along the beach, true friendship, LTR. You won’t be disappointed. ☎920361 WOULD YOU BE MY GIRL? Light-skinned SBM, 20, 5’8”, short/brown, likes going to movies and more. Seeking single lady, 18-30, who’d like to be my girl. ☎275833 ENJOY LIFE WITH ME! SM, 52, wants to meet a fun-loving woman, 35-48, who is easy to get along with, likes sports, music, and more. ☎282853 MY DREAM GIRL SM, 29, 5’8’’, likes basketball. Looking for a female, 25-40, who enjoys going out and having a nice time! ☎274284 LET’S FALL IN LOVE SM, 25, enjoys travel, movies, writing.

Looking for a good woman, 25-42, who shares some of these interests. ☎281603 LET’S DO LUNCH SBM, 28, Leo, homeowner, entrepreneur, attractive, seeks friendship with average, every day woman, 20-40. Have your heart talk to mine. ☎270867 SOCCER LOVER SHM, 21, 190lbs, loves to play soccer.

Seeking a woman with a good personality. ☎250070 TRUE FRIENDSHIP Handsome SBM, 40, with a compassionate nature, seeks a S/DBF, 43-50, with the same qualities for a passionate relationship. ☎200917 CHEF/PIANIST 6’, 190lbs, brown/blue, handsome, amateur psychologist, nice car, time off to travel, will send photo. Seeks pretty female companion, 26-39, no kids, light smoker/drinker okay. ☎882215 MY DEMANDS ARE SIMPLE SBM, 34, seeks a relationship with a faithful and honest BF, 28-39, smoker, for an honest relationship. ☎949160 IT TAKES TWO SBM, 33, Gemini, N/S, enjoys art, jazz, classical music, hiphop. Seeking SBF, 23-43, for shared interests in music, life, and happiness. ☎941377 LET’S MAKE A CONNECTION Laid-back, easygoing, employed SBM, 48, seeks similar SB/WF, 30-60, into music, dining out, spending quality time together.

There’s no need to be lonely! ☎919786 MY DREAM LADY... is a spontaneous woman with a serious mind and who knows what she wants in life. SBM, 42, believes dreams can come true. ☎907741 LOOK ME UP Well-educated, professional SWM, 45, no children, never married, enjoys boating, fishing, camping and exploring life. Seeking SF, with similar interests, for fun and friendship. ☎898023 MATURE WOMAN WANTED Hardworking DM, 48, brown/green, looking for S/DF, who’s independent, spontaneous, open-minded and mature, D/D-free, who knows what she wants in life, for friendship and maybe romance. ☎898762

FUN FOR ALL SWM, 50, seeks intelligent, aware SF, in shape, for indoor and outdoor fun. Looking for a friendship, that may lead to more. ☎902103 PHONE CALL AWAY Self-employed SWM, 40, Pisces, N/S, N/D, enjoys dining out, movies, cooking in, many activities. Seeking similar SWF, 28-45, N/S, to share good times with. ☎882776 IN NEED OF LOVE, SERIOUS SWM, 44, 6’, never married, blond/blue, Aries, smoker, seeks honest, romantic SWF, 25-38, enjoys sports, country walks, and more, for LTR, marriage. ☎889184 LET’S GET IN TOUCH! SWM, 20, Cancer, smoker, enjoys fishing, hunting, walking, playing games. Seeking older woman, 30-60, for possible relationship. ☎888111 THE PERFECT MATE DBM, 40, 6’, 195lbs, with 1 child, Capricorn, smoker, homeowner, loves gardening, cooking, and hunting. Seeking WF, 28-42, petite, to bedazzling. ☎873556 NOT JUST ANOTHER... stud. DBM, 33, with 3 children, Libra, N/S, seeks a lucky lady, 25-45, N/S, with whom to share quality time. ☎868350 GET IN TOUCH WITH ME SM, 21, 6’3’’, athletic build, student, loves movies, clubs, church. Seeking compassionate, down-to-earth, fun woman. ☎861556 DON’T MISS THIS! SBM, 45, 5’10’’, 230lbs, interested in sports, jazz, movies, dining out. Would like to meet a woman with the same interests. ☎862898 LET’S HOOK UP 34-year-old SBM, 5’9”, 180lbs, Aquarius, nurse, bald head, new to area, open-minded, fun-loving, hopeless romantic. Seeking woman who loves to be romanced. ☎849401 Men Seeking Men

LOOKING FOR LOVE GWM, 41, 5’8’, 140lbs, Pisces, enjoys fishing, television, wood working, gardening, arts, crafts. Seeking GWM, 25-45, for friendship first, possible LTR. ☎705204 YOU NEVER KNOW Fun-loving, easygoing GWM, 51, 5’11”, 198lbs, enjoys cooking, movies, fishing, walking. Seeking interesting GWM, 18-33, who’s full of life, for casual relationship, possibly more. ☎676662 ADVENTURE AWAY Fun, GWM, 46, Virgo, N/S, seeks masculine H/ WM, 25-50, blue colar type, for friendship, dating, possibly more. ☎354941 NICE PERSONALITY A MUST SM, 29, 5’7’’, moustache and goatee, seeks down-to-earth, nice, masculine, real man, 2730, for friends, possible LTR. ☎280741 I’D LOVE TO MEET! SM, 47, likes dining out, having fun, malls, movies, television. Looking for sincere male for possible relationship. ☎861252 LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP Senior SWM seeks sincere, honest SWM, 25-45, to share home and lifestyle. Many interests including gardening, cooking, arts and crafts, travel, camping. ☎294303 ENJOYS ALL THAT LIFE HAS GWM, 40, shaved head, goatee, Pisces, smoker, seeks very special, attractive, strong, fun-loving GBM, 30-50, for dating, possible LTR. ☎257126 NASCAR FAN SWM, 38, 6’1”, 190lbs, brown/green, is goodlooking and masculine. Seeking a man who is also masculine and enjoys going for drinks and RVing. ☎250111 100% LAID-BACK SBM, 35, 5’11”, brown skin, dark brown eyes, Virgo, smoker, bookworm, loves tv. Seeking masculine, spontaneous BM, 30-45, smoker. ☎958192

How do you

WHAT’S HAPPENING? SWM, 30, 5’7”, 200lbs, brown/blue, Aries, N/S, seeks BM, 19-35, N/S, outgoing, for friendship first, possible LTR. ☎958402 YOU CAN MAKE MY DAY Male, 60, Cancer, N/S, seeks a WM, 49-65, N/S, for casual relationship. Why not call me? ☎927707 DOESN’T PLAY GAMES Unattached GBM, 41, interested in meeting open-minded, fun-loving, honest, truthful, compassionate and loyal GM for LTR. ☎920995 DARK CHOCOLATE SBM, 23, with a dark complexion, wants to go out and have good times with a great guy. ☎917508 CALL ME... you will not be disappointed. SM, 35, Indian, 5’9”, seeks the same. Let’s get together. ☎916175 COOL WORLD SBM, 22, loves bowling, football, chess. In search of a man who loves the same things. ☎907631 BE YOURSELF Honest, caring SM, 47, 5’10”, 220lbs, seeks outgoing, ambitious, down-to-earth man, to share friendship, fun times and maybe more. ☎895468 LET’S JUST CUDDLE Lonely GWM, 33, Aries, smoker, enjoys quiet nights, relaxing, being with somebody.

Seeking GWM, 20-30, for possible LTR. ☎887748 NEW TO THIS BiWM, 49, 5’10”, thick, black/blue, Libra, N/S, seeks friendly, fun-loving GWM, 35-65, N/S, for possible LTR. ☎839145 IT’S YOUR CALL GWM, young 46, 5’11”, 200lbs, brown/brown, masculine, outgoing, enjoys travel, dining out, movies, shopping, Nascar. Would like to meet honest, passionate GM, with similar interests, for dating, possible LTR. Serious inquiries only. ☎792384 I KNOW WHERE IT’S AT SBM, 25, practical yet fun, outgoing, Aquarius, smoker, seeks a masculine, alluring, well-rounded BM, 23-45, smoker, with his priorities in order. ☎695448 BEYOND SWM, 32, 5’11”, 155lbs, light hair, looking for good time with GM, 18-45, ☎966003

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Women Seeking Women

YOUNG AT HEART Active GWF, 62, 5’5”, 122lbs, brown hair, enjoys camping, fishing, meeting new people, dining out, short trips. Seeking plus-sized GWF, 45-65, for friendship first. No games. ☎292839 “EVERYONE’S BEST FRIEND” GWF, 26, 5’6”, medium build, likes watching movies, bowling, hanging out, malls, phone conversations. Seeking fun-loving, seriousminded GWF, 22-35, medium build, for friendship and possibly more. ☎335046 WELL-ROUNDED GWPF, 24, 4’11”, brown/brown, loves animals, movies, dancing, travel, dining out, sports, conversation. Seeking GF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎329740 BEAUTIFUL AND FEMININE GWF, 32, 5’7”, 135lbs, enjoys reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports, music, movies.

Seeking GWF, 25-39, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎329063 A REFRESHING CHANGE SWF, 30, Libra, smoker, is hoping to find it in a woman, 25-45. Will show a lot of a affection. ☎307177 CHURCH-GOER SBF, 38, Virgo, N/S, heavy-duty equipment operator, seeks BF, 30-45. Enjoys motorcycle riding, playing bass guitar. ☎799776 GIVE ME A RING Cute SBF, 30-something, seeks attractive SF, 25-45, for friendship, maybe more. No games. ☎965825 AVID READER Quiet SF, 24, part-time student, into all types of music, especially oldies, pets, writing poetry. Seeking a female, 24-40, with same interests. ☎283861 BUILDING A FUTURE Hard-working, mechanically inclined SBF, 46, loves to build and rebuild. Seeing female who prefers the home life and knows what she wants from life. ☎120569 LOOKING FOR LOVE SBF, 32, 140lbs, 5’8”, down-to-earth, likes clubs, movies, and quiet times. Looking for a female, 30-35, with the same interests. If you’re the one, call me. Aiken, South Carolina. ☎113533

ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES SBF, 30, 5’5”, with brown eyes, seeks a woman, 30-36, to hang out with, get to know, and see where it goes. ☎380595 OPEN-MINDED CHIC Broken-hearted GWF, 30, Libra, smoker, seeks woman, 20-45, to mend my heart. Let’s not be afraid of who we are. ☎370110 FRIENDSHIP SBF, 38, 5’7”, slim, fit, seeks SF, for friendship and fun. Must be outgoing, love to wine and dine, travel, movies and theater. ☎878217 LIKE MALLS & MOVIES? Feminine BiBF, 25, 5’4”, 145lbs, short hair, Sagittarius, smoker, loves movies and tv.

Seeking another feminine woman, 18-30, with whom to hang out and chat. ☎958642 OUTGOING FUN WF, 28...

5’3”, medium build, loves movies, putt-putt golf, and bowling. Seeking WF, 25-40, medium build, for fun and friendship. Hope to hear from you soon. ☎958847 MAN FOR ALL SEASONS GBF, 31, 5’6”, brown/brown, Cancer, smoker, enjoys kids, bowling. Seeking open-minded, passionate, understanding GBF, 23-45, for LTR. ☎941850 NO INTRO NEEDED SWF, 39, 5’7”, 145lbs, homeowner, easygoing, selfless, Taurus, smoker, loves movies and bowling. Seeking WF, 35-49, with comparable interests. ☎935299 I WON’T LET YOU DOWN Single GBF, 32, mother, non-smoker, looking to become acquainted with a laid-back, sensual GBF, who enjoys quiet times, movies.

Interested? ☎910581 CHOCOLATE SEEKS CREAM SF, 39, new to the area, down-to-earth, loves laughing, sight-seeing. Seeking WF, 30-45, to show me a great time! ☎861222 A GOOD HEART SF, 39, goes to church, works for a living, likes having fun, going on trips. Seeking a similar female, 37-49. ☎780112 SPECIAL FRIENDSHIP Attractive, feminine SWF, 41, 5’4”, seeks a very open-minded WF, 35-48, for fun and exciting times. ☎775074 JOIN ME GBF, 32, nurse, part-time student, Capricorn, N/S, enjoys bowling, movies, shopping, traveling. Seeking casual relationship with woman, 25-45. ☎711628 WASTE NO TIME GBF, 36, enjoys dining out, cooking, dining out. Seeking attractive, open-minded, fun, nice GF, 25-45, for friendship and possibly more. ☎965823

Mountain Goat: During mating season male mountain goats compete to establish dominance.

Aiming for each other’s hindquarters and bellies, their fights sometimes have fatal results.

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■ Automotive Spirit

Free Automotive Ads Cars 1973 FORD MUSTANG, yellow gold, 302, brown interior, 168K, sensibly driven, garaged last 7 yrs, nice ride, $3950, 706-7386421 (1041/0424) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1978 CHEVY MONTE Carlo, one owner, 305 engine, runs good, body good, 89K actual miles, $2000 OBO, 706-736-8266 (1072/0515) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1982 CADILLAC EL DORADO, green, very clean, one owner, 2dr, auto, many new parts, including transmission & alternator, $1500 OBO, 706-860-6409 (1042/0424) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1986 CADILLAC DEVILLE, 160K, minor transmission problem, sell for $300, may negotiate.

706-733-8966 (1023/0410) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1986 OLDSMOBILE CUTLASS Supreme, metallic gray, 2dr, excellent condition, $3500 OBO, 803-593-9874 leave message (1056/0508) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1987 BMW 525i, grey, auto, power everything, CD, nice, 195K, just needs driveshaft, $1400, 706-855-1639 (1005/0403) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1988 CHEVY CAMERO, red, great body, t-tops, needs paint and motor, $350, call Candice 706-627-6475 (1060/0508) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1988 CHEVY CAVALIER Z-24, convertible, needs top, clutch, shifter cable, $800 firm, will trade for boat, trailer and motor. 706790-3425 (988/0403) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1989 CADILLAC SEVILLE, blue,

4dr, leather, nice car, 706-5566124 (1068/0515) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1989 TOYOTA COROLLA Station wagon, red, good condition, 5spd, 170K, AC needs work, $1600, 706-228-2854, leave message (1064/0508) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1990 CHEVY CORSICA, blue, runs well, cold AC, fair condition, 130K, $1300, 706-823-4205 (1043/0424) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1991 CHEVY CAMERO RS, convertible, 305 V8, auto, power group, never wrecked, very good over all condition, many new parts, 706-495-1765 (992/0403) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1991 OLDSMOBILE CUSTOM Cruiser, 9 passenger station wagon, $2000, 706-547-0893 (1026/0410) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1992 MITSUBISHI MIRAGE, auto, AC, 35+ mpg, 92K, one owner, very clean, $1650 OBO, 706-736-1035 (990/0403) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1993 OLDSMOBILE CUTLASS Supreme SL, burgundy, 107K, maintenance records, air, PL, PW, clean, dependable, $3000, 706729-0789 (1019/0410) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1995 DODGE NEON, white, 5spd, AC, CD, new battery, 97K, runs good, $1600 OBO, 706729-0789 (987/0403) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1995 DODGE NEON, white/primer grey, 4dr, runs, am/fm, cassette, AC, tilt, $1800, call 706-399-6737, leave message or jturner003@comcast.net (1044/0424) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1995 MERCURY GRAND Marquis LS, 92K, leather, clean, all power, cruise, wire wheels,

$5000, 706-730-2697 (1058/0508) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1996 CHEVROLET CAMERO, 41K, factory purple, 5spd, 6 cyl, AC, FM, cassette, immaculate, one owner, $6200 OBO, 706868-0090 (1057/0508) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1996 PONTIAC GRAND Prix GTP, white, rear spoiler, tint windows, 3.4L, V6 high output, 4spd auto w/OD, well cared for, 129K, $6500, Jim 706-721-3365 days or 706-547-7878 eve.

(1039/0424) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1996 TOYOTA COROLLA DX, gold, 79K, AC, am/fm, cassette, $3500, call 706-231-5430 or 706-267-6350 (932/0424) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 ACURA 3.2TL, Premium, loaded, great ride, new tires, remote keyless entry, power locks & windows, AC, climate control system, Bose radio/cassette/CD, remote sunroof, $10,900, 803279-8326 (993/0403) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 CHEVY CAVALIER RS, loaded, touring wheels, CD player, ideal graduation gift, $5000, 706860-7336 (1062/0508) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 FORD MUSTANG, auto, 6cyl, spoiler, sports package, premium sound system, PW, PL, electric seats, CD, 83K, $7500 OBO, 706-737-9732 (1048/0501) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 TOYOTA COROLLA, 86K, 5spd, AC, am/fm, CD, great student car, $5500 OBO, 706-7904396 or 706-373-6073 (1031/0417) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1998 MITSUBISHI ECLIPSE GS, white, 2dr, 5spd, 72K, $7200, 803-642-8323 (1035/0417) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––

FREE AUTO CLASSIFIEDS * Automobiles for sale by an individual may be placed in our FREE Auto Classifieds. The same ad will run continuously for six weeks or until the vehicle sells, whichever comes first. After two weeks, if you want to keep running the same ad, you must call The Metropolitan Spirit by 5 p.m. on Friday or we will assume you sold the vehicle and will delete the ad. All vehicles must indicate price. FREE Auto Classified ads are offered to individuals only and are not offered to commercial companies or dealers.

TO PLACE YOUR AD: Mail: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914-3809 Email: classified@metspirit.com Fax: 706-733-6663 Website: www.metspirit.com Visit Us At: 825 Russell Street, Augusta, GA MUST BE MAILED, FAXED OR EMAILED ON SPECIFIED FORM. ADS ARE NOT TAKEN BY PHONE.

GENERAL POLICIES: The Metropolitan Spirit reserves the right to reject, revise, alter, or reclassify any classified advertisement. Please check your ad for errors the first week the ad is published. The Metropolitan Spirit is not responsible for any errors which appear after the first week the ad is inserted.

1999 BMW ROADSTER, $19,900, Andy Jones Mazda, 803-202-0002 (1050) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 LINCOLN CONTINENTAL, opal, 60K, warranty, like new, garaged, new tires, leather, moon roof, phone, 6 CD changer, blue book $14K, asking $13,000, 706863-9152 (1061/0508) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 HONDA ACCORD EX, green/tan leather, auto, fully loaded, rear spoiler, 44/5K, one owner (lady), $14,500, 706-6508644 (1020/0410) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 HONDA ACCORD LX, loaded, 72K, dependable, $9600, 706-793-1563 (1071/0515) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 HONDA CIVIC EX, loaded, 49.5K, $10,900, 706-556-0892 (1073/0515) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 HONDA S-2000, silver/red, convertible, 39K, every available option, garage kept, fast, great brakes, precision shifting, $21,000, 803-643-0846 (1046/0424) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 TOYOTA CELICA GT, white, auto, 32K, loaded, w/extras, excellent condition, 37 mpg, $14,800, 803-613-1559 (1024/0410) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 CHRYSLER PT Cruiser Limited, beautiful parrot blue, auto, CD, air, all power and options, 30K, $14,995, 803-2793385 (1037/0417) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 HONDA EX, low miles, warranty, auto, 6-CD changer & tape, $18,500 negotiable, 803-2780645 (1027/0410) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2002 HYUNDIA ELANTRA, power windows, great

AD PLACEMENT FORM:

interior/exterior, runs great, asking only $12,000 706-650-2766 (1006/0403) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2002 MAZDA 626, auto, power lock, power windows, alloy wheels, warranty, Andy Jones Mazda, 803-202-0002 (1053)

Motorcycles 2000 HONDA XR650R, enduro, off road only, XC, many power enhancing extras, priced to sell or will consider trade, 706-309-9526 after 6 pm (458/0501) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 BUELL BLAST, 246 miles, garage kept, $3500, 481-9336 ask for Sandy (991/0403) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 HARLEY DAVIDSON Road King Classic, teal blue w/white, great condition, many extras, $17,300, 706-854-7941 (1021/0410) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2002 HONDA SHADOW 1100, low miles, black with extra chrome, new condition, $6800, 706-560-2025 or 706-627-3070 (1036/0417)

Other 1987 EAGLE SPEED Boat, 60 mph, closed bow, Johnson 140HP outboard, $2500 OBO or trade for 4 wheeler, 803-2792669 (934/0313) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1995 SEARAY 200, Signature Bow Rider, 250 running hours on a 5.7ltr V8, was $26,000 new, asking $14,000 firm, has all the bells and whistles including tandem trailer, 706-829-8002 (10667/0508) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––

1998 COLEMAN POPUP, king beds, refrigerator, AC, awning, dinette, toilet, hot water, outside shower, brakes, 16’7” closed, 27’ open, $3500 firm, 706-790-3425 (989/0403)

SUVs 1986 FORD BRONCO Eddie Bauer Edition, call details & price, 706-306-3443 (1022/0410) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1990 CHEVY SUBURBAN, Silverado, white/blue, auto, 4X4, 8 seats, 186K, hitch, remanufactured engine, rebuilt transmission, good condition, $5500 OBO, 803-641-1664 (1018/0410) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1993 CHEVY BLAZER, S-10 Tahoe, 2dr, 5spd, 130K, good condition inside and out, runs good, new brakes, $2500, 706364-9193 (1047/0424) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1994 ISUZU TROOPER, Limited edition, loaded, leather, sunroof, CD, full towing package, high mileage, highway miles, $3950, 803-510-3116 (1033/0417) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1995 NISSAN PATHFINDER XE, 4WD, 5spd, sunroof, am, fm, CD, alloy wheels, new tires, hoses, belts & wipers, excellent condition, $6995, 706-829-8002 (1065/0508) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 FORD EXPEDITION, 1/2 ton, V8, 4WD, rear air, leather, extended warranty, tow package, 3rd seat, alloy wheels, CD, 706829-8002 (1066/0508) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 JEEP CHEROKEE, air, PL, PW, CD & tape deck, 50K, very good condition, $13,500, 706860-6471 (1028/0417) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––

DEADLINES: In person - Monday at 3PM By mail, fax or email - Friday at 4PM

Name__________________________________________________________________________________________ Daytime Phone__________________________________________________________________________________ Address________________________________________________________________________________________ City_______________________________________________________State____________Zip_________________ Ad Copy 20 words or less__________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________

1997 NISSAN PATHFINDER, Luxury Edition, auto, 4X4, leather, CD, power everything, 78K, $11,500, 706-868-6344 (1074/0515) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 JEEP WRANGLER, soft top, alloys, low miles, $14,500, Andy Jones Mazda, 803-2020002 (1051) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2002 ISUZU RODEO, auto, power windows, power locks, warranty, $14,900, Andy Jones Mazda, 803-202-0002 (1054)

Trucks 1984 CHEVY WRECKER, $8500, financing available, Jimmy Davidson, 706-738-0911 or 706597-0096 (1069/0515) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1987 TOYOTA PICKUP, 4 cyl, runs well, needs body work, $400 or make offer, 706-798-8141 (1030/0417) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1993 MITSUBISHI MIGHTY Max, blue, great hunting truck, AC, CD, $2500, 706-495-4243 (986/0403) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1994 CHEVROLET S-10, red, 4.3liter vortec engine, auto, air, extended cab, new tires, mags, great condition, $3400, 706-5569704 (1032/0417) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1994 NISSAN U.D. Rollback, $18,500, financing available, Jimmy Davidson, 706-738-0911 or 706-597-0096 (1070/0515) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1995 DODGE DAKOTA Extended cab, 2WD, auto, call for further details after 6 pm, 706-729-1677 (979/0327)

–––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1995 GMC SIERRA, white/burgundy, x-cab, 4X4, 65k, loaded, must sell $11,000, 706-863-1543 (1007/0403) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1995 TOYOTA COROLLA DX, auto, 4dr, 140K (mostly highway), good condition, AC, power locks & windows, am, fm, CD, perfect car for new drivers. 706-8699328 (1063/0508) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1996 TOYOTA TACOMA LX, SR5, x-cab, 4X4, V6, 5spd, AC, towing, liner, alloy wheels, Pioneer stereo, 10 disc changer, amp, upg, speakers, 7K, $10,500 OBO, call 706-364-1769 or 706951-6294 (1059/0508) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1998 MAZDA B2500, 4cyl, 4500 miles, AC, auto w/overdrive, one owner, $2300 firm, 706-868-1988 (1040/0424) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1998 TOYOTA TACOMA, std cab, 4WD, 115K, 5spd, very good condition, 803-637-3510 (1045/0424) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 TOYOTA TACOMA, auto, AC, FM, Cassette, 50K, great truck, $8000 OBO, 706-5132585 (1055/0508) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 FORD F150, Harley Davidson extended cab, 13K, black with black Harley leather, like new, extended warranty, $23,000, 706-836-6703 (1034/0417) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 GMC, auto, Vortec V6, $15,900, Andy Jones Mazda, 803-202-0002 (1052) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 DODGE RAM, Pick up,

1500, Magnum, V8, 5.9ltr, auto, AC, 17K, $13,500, 706-541-0656 (1075/0515)

Vans 1977 VW VAN, 34.5K original miles, new am/fm/cd, great interior condition, needs a groovy home, $4500, 706-863-8118 (1025/0410) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1990 CHEVY ASTRO, 7 seater, all window, 110K, loaded, excellent condition, $3450, 706-5410656 (888/0417) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1993 FORD AEROSTAR, black, power windows & locks, 111K, hitch, air, tape deck, $2500 OBO, 706-731-0033 or 706-731-9689 (1038/0417) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1994 DODGE GRAND Caravan SE, dark green, power everything, rear & front AC, Quad seating, 175K, $3000, 706-869-1920 (1004/0501) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 FORD WINDSTAR GL, dark red, auto, 7 passenger, 3.8 V6, AC, tilt, power windows, 148K, $4600 OBO, 706-8605001 (774/0410) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1998 TOYOTA SIENNA XLE, leather, sunroof, excellent condition, 86K, payoff $15,800, take $13,800, 706-796-4097 or 706860-2629 (1029/0417) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 CHRYSLER TOWN, & Country LX, minivan, premium sound, runs well, have maintenance records, 115K, below bluebook at $5000, 706-651-9993 (1049/0501)

GUARANTEED CLASSIFIEDS

* Items for sale by an individual may be placed in our Guaranteed Classifieds. The same ad will run continuously for ten weeks or until the item sells, whichever comes first. You must call by 5PM on Friday every two weeks to renew the ad or The Metropolitan Spirit will assume the item has been sold and will delete the ad. There is a $5 reinstatement fee if you forget to renew your ad. All items must indicate price. Guaranteed classified ads are offered to individuals only and are not offered to commercial companies. Guaranteed Classified ads do not include any automotive vehicles, real estate or pets.

RATES: FREE ADS Merchandise Under $250 $8 ADS Merchandise $251 to $500 $15 ADS Merchandise $501 to $1000 $20 ADS Merchandise over $1000 20 Words or Less - No Exceptions.

ADS MUST BE PREPAID DEADLINES: In person - Monday at 3PM By mail, fax or email - Friday at 4PM

$19,900

MUST SEE!

JEEP RANGLER

$14,500

WON’T LAST

Soft Top • Alloy Wheels • Low Miles

Convertible • Red

2000

1999

AD PLACEMENT FORM:

GENERAL POLICIES: The Metropolitan Spirit reserves the right to reject, revise, alter, or reclassify any classified advertisement. Please check your ad for errors the first week the ad is published. The Metropolitan Spirit is not responsible for any errors which appear after the first week the ad is inserted.

MAZDA MPV LX

$13,900

SHARP!

Dual Doors • Rear Air

2000

ANDY JONES MAZDA ISUZU (803) 202-0002 GMC TRUCK

$15,900

VERY SHARP!

Vortec V-6 • Auto • Stepside

2000

ISUZU RODEO

$14,900

WOW!

Auto • Power Wndows & Locks • Warranty

2000

PAYMENT OPTIONS: (ADS MUST BE PREPAID) Cash-Money Order-Check

Name_______________________________________Daytime Phone_____________________ Address______________________________________________________________________ City______________________________________________State________Zip_____________ Payment ❑ Cash ❑ Check ❑ Money Order ❑ Visa ❑ MC Card No./Exp. Date_____________________________________________________________ Billing Address (if different from above)_____________________________________________ City______________________________________________State________Zip_____________ Ad Copy 20 words or less________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________

COME AND SEE THE ONES THAT CAN GET YOU DONE!

BMW ROADSTER

TO PLACE YOUR AD: Mail: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914-3809 Email: classified@metspirit.com Fax: 706-733-6663 ADS ARE NOT TAKEN BY PHONE Website: www.metspirit.com Visit Us At: 825 Russell Street, Augusta, GA MUST BE MAILED, FAXED OR EMAILED ON SPECIFIED FORM.

www.andyjonesmazda.com Monday-Friday 9am-8pm Saturday 9am-7pm At the top of the rise on the Aiken-Augusta Highway in North Augusta

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