Metro Spirit 04.15.2004

April 15-21 Vol. 15 No. 37

Augusta’s Independent Voice

The

Art of the Brew

• Border Beer Bust April 23-24 •

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METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 15, 2004

Handcrafted wooden sea kayak

demonstration!

Paddle Daze! presents

New to Canoes?

Free clinic 10, 12, 2:00

Saturday, April 24 9:00-3:00 pm

Lake Olmstead Boat Ramp Test paddle all types of canoes and kayaks. Fun for beginners and experienced paddlers!

5-person co-ed canoe race with prizes! Children must be accompanied by an adult.

Andy Jordan’s Bicycle Warehouse Reps on Hand

Call AWOL for details

738-8500

The Boys Are Back!

(706) 736-7889 GREENJACKETS vs. CATFISH

THURSDAY

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APRIL

15

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0

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THIRSTY THURDAY CASH COUCH

COMCAST • 95 ROCK

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th

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FIREWORKS SHOW

APRIL

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SUNDAY 0

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FAMILY DOLLAR DAY

Look for your “Family Dollar Day” coupon in the Metro Spirit for $1.00 admission for each member of your family.

Many other $1.00 specials during the game!

COCA COLA • SPRINT FIRST BANK • KICKS 99

FT. DISCOVERY • WRDW-TV LITE 98 • METRO SPIRIT

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Reserve your tickets today for the “Best Fireworks In Town”.

A spectacular Fireworks show will immediately follow the game.

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 15, 2004

The first “Thirsty Thursday” of the year!

All 16 oz. beers are only $1.00 during the game. Be sure to sign up for the “Cash Couch.”

You could win $250 in cash and also be entered to win a brand new HDTV and one free year of cable compliments of Comcast.

APRIL

FRIDAY

affordable!

family fun!

Call for Tickets:

Garden City Music Festival

Greater Augusta Arts Council presents

Saturday, MAY

MUSIC: 12 Noon til 11pm

8, 2004 at the Augusta Common

WYCLIFFE GORDON • COL. BRUCE HAMPTON & THE CODETALKERS

THE REGGAE COWBOYS • STEWART & WINFIELD • CADILLAC JONES DARK CORNER BLUEGRASS BAND • THE GOSPEL ORIGINALS PAT BLANCHARD BAND • WAYNE-C • REDBELLY • SHAUN PIAZZA BAND PARK BENCH BLUES TRIO • THREE SIXTY • CHELSEA LOGUE NOT GADDY'S DRUM CIRCLE

$10 adv

ance / $

15 n 10 & day of festi under F v ree al Food, D rink

Childre

, Music ndors a , Arts & nd m NO PETS OR COO ore!!

Craft Ve

LERS!

For Tickets & Info Call: 706.826.4702

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METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 15, 2004

augustaarts.com Ticket Locations:

Fetch Dog Treats - Surrey Center Metro Coffee House- Broad Street Serendipity - Washington Rd., Evans Pyramid Music- Broad St. & Kmart Shopping Ctr.

METRO SPIRIT ON THE COVER 16 The Art of the Brew

By Amy Fennell Christian

Cover Design: Natalie Holle Cover Photo, Amy Fennell Christian Randy Doucet of Aiken Brewing Company, pictured

Contents

APRIL 8-14 • FREE WEEKLY • METROSPIRIT.COM

OPINION 6 Whine Line 6 This Modern World 6 Words 8 Thumbs Up/Down 11 Letter 12 Insider

CINEMA 30 Flix 32 “Kill Bill: Volume 2” Expands Beyond Unnecessary Gore 33 “The Girl Next Door” — An Audacious Mainstream Comedy 34 Reel Time

METRO BEAT 14 Airport’s Finance Director Debate Continues

MUSIC 35 Pedestrian Wants To Be Your Friend 36 Twittering Machine Produces Dynamic, Dreamy Pop 37 Sightings 38 CD Reviews 39 Music by Turner 39 Music Minis 40 After Dark

BITE 20 Dieters Beware!

21 In the Mix ARTS 22 Coastal Painters Come to Gertrude Herbert 23 One More Masterworks Concert 24 “Disney on Ice Presents Princess Classics” at Civic Center EVENTS 25 Calendar

STUFF 42 News of the Weird 43 Brezsny’s Free Will Astrology 43 New York Times Crossword Puzzle 44 Amy Alkon: Advice Goddess 45 Datemaker 47 Classifieds

EDITOR & PUBLISHER David Vantrease ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Rhonda Jones STAFF WRITERS Stacey Eidson, Brian Neill ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Joe White

PRODUCTION MANAGER Joe Smith

ADVERTISING SALES SUPPORT Riali Blackstock, Michelle Dove

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT INTERN Andy Stokes

GRAPHIC ARTISTS Ange Hagler, Natalie Holle, Shawn Sutherland ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT ASSISTANT Lisa Jordan

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ACCOUNTING MANANGER/CLASSIFIEDS Sharon King SENIOR MUSIC CONTRIBUTOR Ed Turner CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Amy Alkon, Rob Brezsny, Rachel Deahl, David Elliott, Amy Fennell Christian CARTOONISTS Tom Tomorrow

Metro Spirit is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks of the year. Editorial coverage includes arts, local issues, news, entertainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum.

The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publishers. Visit us at www.metrospirit.com. Copyright © Metro Spirit, Inc. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. Phone: (706) 738-1142 Fax: (706) 733-6663 E-mail: spirit@metrospirit.com Letters to the Editor: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, Ga. 30914-3809

LEGAL NOTICE 2004 HOMESTEAD EXEMPTION INFORMATION

677-A North Belair Road

706-860-0070

If you have already filed for a Homestead Exemption for 2004 you need not file again.

Thank you… JERRY SAUL Tax Commissioner Augusta-Richmond County. Georgia

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 15, 2004

The Wellness and Weight Loss Center

(1) NEW homeowners must apply for Homestead Exemption at the Tax Commissioner’s Office January 2 through June 1, 2004.Homeowners now receiving Homestead Exemptions need not apply unless they have purchased a new home during the year, or are eligible for a greater exemption, in which case a new application must be filed. Exemptions are automatically renewed each year.

(2) Homeowners over 65, who are not currently receiving the Double Homestead Exemption, may apply for the Richmond County School Tax Exemption, regardless of income.

(3) for information concerning Homestead Exemptions, call 821-2391 or write for printed information to The Tax Commissioner’s Office, Room 117, Municipal Building, Augusta, GA 30911.

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OPINION

T

o the person whining about dogs being a menace downtown — before you start calling names and talking about people’s rights, why don’t you do your children a favor and teach them not to be afraid of dogs? Or better yet, do the rest of us a favor and also ask people to keep their children at home too, or at least keep them on a leash. I have a dog who is better behaved than most peoples’ children!

Note to Mechelle Jordan on why teachers can’t look past the $94,000: This past year, Dr. Larke claimed for himself nine times more money than the average teacher and had his insurance, professional dues and annuities paid for him. He encouraged salaries (also more than teachers) for people (like you) to handle the undesirable parts of his job. And he has an expense account. Teachers, on the other hand, must handle anything that arises and subsidize their classrooms from their own pockets.

I have great respect for out elected officials, Barbara Padgett and Ken Echols, for not letting that gag order of Dr. Charles Larke keep them from explaining their position on the $94,000 vacation pay that Dr. Larke was given.

In response to the “dogs at First Friday” whine: I’ve been to a lot of First Fridays and seen a lot of dogs downtown. I’ve never seen a mean one, never heard of anyone being attacked by a dog as you assert. You say “If these people want to take their dogs out, they can do it where they’re not infringing on other people’s rights to be free of all those dogs downtown.” That’s a ridiculous argument. Dogs on leashes are allowed in public areas.

Just because you don’t like dogs doesn’t mean everyone should keep them home.

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METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 15, 2004

I applaud the commission and mayor for finally trying to put our city back on track by derailing Kolb and Smith. They need to add Fred Russell to the list. Why can’t we get another Randy Oliver in here?

Anyone care to even ask?

Whine Line If I can be so bold, let me tell you what is wrong with Augusta: 1) People, put your Bibles away and loosen up just a little bit.

2) When you need a “problem solver,” a “critical thinker” or “answers,” quit hiring your brother-in-law or your neighbor across the street. Try hiring the most qualified candidate for the job! 3) At the nine o’clock position on your steering column is something called a turn signal indicator — try using it! 4) In 1865, the Civil War — for all intents and purposes — ended.

Get over it! 5) Put down that cigarette that is smoking away in your right hand, put down the half-finished beer that is in your left hand and shut the hood of that broken-down pickup truck you’re working on while I’m talking to you. And guys — I’ll complain about you some other time!

To the person who whined last week about dogs at First Friday: I’m sorry you hate dogs so much, but please realize that not all dogs attack people, just as not all kids carry guns and shoot people. I wish you could have taken the opportunity to introduce your kids to the joys of meeting and petting a nice, well-behaved and friendly dog. Please don’t teach your children to hate animals, too.

Re: “Shock Jock’s $495,000 Fine.” This country’s gone nuts. While I don’t listen to or view Howard Stern’s shows, if I did, I’d know what to expect. I mean, Richard Pryor’s gonna cuss. Andrew “Dice” Clay’s gonna insult women. They use language on regular TV that I was not brought up to use in “mixed company.”

Get real, America. Frivolous lawsuits and fines are not the answer. Bring children up properly. The rest will follow in proper order.

To the whiner who complained about allowing dogs downtown: Did the dogs attack your children? Just how many people have been attacked by these “mad” dogs downtown? The fact is, it’s not illegal to take your dog downtown if it’s leashed and behaves properly. Introduce your children to animals; don’t worry, it’s

Words “I don't intend to lose my job because I'm going to tell the American people I have a plan to win the war on terror.”

— President George Bush responding to a reporter when asked if the president believed he acted correctly regarding the war on Iraq even if it costs him his job.

part of a normal childhood. And, by the way, idiocy is assuming that your rights are more important than anyone else’s.

Downtown is shared by everyone, whether you have a dog or a child. Suck it up or don’t go downtown.

Heaven forbid our children be exposed to all those vicious, pit-fighting dogs being walked on leashes downtown during First Friday.

Hey, W. A. Corley. It’s ironic that you say that Republicans are bent on dividing the nation but, in the same sentence, you define them as “fascists”. Do you believe that politicians of either party care more about “all Americans” or getting re-elected to pump up their old egos?

I wish the city of Augusta would get around to fixing 13th St./R.A. Dent Blvd. The road is so poor and the crossing at the tracks is so bad that I had to buy Tires Plus’ “Lifetime Alignment” plan because keeping my car aligned so my tires wouldn’t wear unevenly was getting too expensive.

Augusta is contributing to the tire waste environmental problem by not maintaining roads and causing our tires to wear out prematurely!

I should be ashamed of myself for even thinking this, but has anyone thought to challenge Dr. Charles Larke’s contention

that he’s owed so much vacation time?

Did anyone think to ask for an audit? The burden of proof belongs on Dr. Larke. It’s unreasonable to believe that Dr. Larke worked a full day every Monday-Friday for 52 weeks of every year for years. He’d be burned out.

Event guide brochure for Augusta’s new arena at the site of the defunct Regency Mall: Welcome to our fantastically overpriced arena complex in beautiful Augusta, Georgia. We paid 90 million dollars for this thing, and, by the way, did you know that Augusta is Georgia’s second largest city? Just wanted to remind y’all. We hope y’all enjoy this evening’s event: “Stars of the WWF on Ice.” But we also hope that y’all will visit some of our nearby attractions in exciting South Augusta. Dine across the street at Krystal or go all out and have a grand slam at Denny’s. Ladies can shop to their hearts’ content at K-Mart across the street in a circa mid-1970s building. Want more great architecture? Don’t miss Augusta’s manufactured housing showcase along Gordon Highway. And don’t forget the abundant park space; just across Deans Bridge Road is one of Augusta’s largest perpetual care parks. We hope y’all enjoy this evening’s event and hope y’all return real soon.

Let me get this straight. The Regency Mall succumbed to a slow death primarily continued on page 8

One of the Top 100 Hospitals in the Nation MCG is the only hospital in the region to achieve this distinction.

Leading the region. Leading the nation.

13 of America’s Top Doctors MCG is the only hospital in the region to have physicians named to this list.

Winner – 2003 Consumer Choice Award MCG was awarded hospital of choice in the Augusta re g i o n .

MCG Medical Center is the only hospital in the region to be named one of the 100 Top Hospitals® in the nation by Solucient and we are the only area hospital whose medical staff includes physicians ranked as America’s Top Doctors, year after year. We also have the honor of being chosen by you, the consumer, as your preferred hospital. MCG is committed to making a positive impact in the region by providing the highest level of care and being a national leader in research and advanced treatments.

But it takes more than a hospital to achieve these goals. It takes an academic medical center to provide the latest technology, conduct the research that leads to cures and attract a world-class medical staff that is committed to being on the forefront of medicine.

Better technology. Better treatment. Better physicians. MCG delivers nationally ranked care close to home.

Tomorrow’s Medicine, Here Today.

SM

Medical College of Georgia Health System, Augusta GA

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 15, 2004

The physicians of MCG Health System are community physicians and faculty employees of the Medical College of Georgia and the Physicians Practice Group, not employees of MCG Health Inc.

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Thumbs Up That the Masters came and went with little fanfare and fuss. Law enforcement reported little in the way of problems and right or

wrong, it was a relief that the circus atmosphere created by last year's protestors was gone.

Thumbs Down That John Stamos and Rebecca Romijn-Stamos separating is considered important breaking news — enough so to be included among items in a TV crawler during a morning news show. That the dysfunctional duo, Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown are filming a reality series. That the guy who just received national attention for betting his life savings on a roulette wheel and doubling his money will probably indirectly encourage many others to do the same. They, however, will only succeed in losing their life savings.

That South Carolina State Sen. Greg Ryberg (R-Aiken and Lexington counties), who likely

has more money than God, is letting the city of Aiken pick up the $3,000 tab for tearing down an old gas station on land he purchased to build upscale condos on.

According to a story in The Augusta Chronicle, Ryberg's request was granted by the city council under a program that assists property owners in tearing down seedy or dilapidated structures. Ryberg, according to a 2002 article in The (Columbia) State newspaper, led two companies that, combined, sold roughly $70 million worth of fuel to state and local governments since 1992.

Poor guy. Looks like he really needs that three grand from the city.

The Aiken Community Playhouse Presents:

continued from page 6 because of bad location and now the people spearheading this 90 million dollar arena initiative think it’s a dandy site for their project? Do people in this town ever learn from their past mistakes? I guess not, because we keep electing the same idiots on the commission, too.

This is to the lady who left the St. Patrick’s Day parade and everything downtown because so many cops’ lights were flashing: If something were to happen to you and there were no cops there, you would complain. Just like other people do, you complain when they are there and you complain when they are not there when you need them.

This is to the lady who couldn’t believe the irresponsibility of people having their dogs downtown at First Friday. My girlfriend and I were some of the ones who had our dogs down there and they were actually more well-behaved than any of the children I saw there. They weren’t running, they weren’t crying, they weren’t whining or barking or anything. So, I’ll leave my dogs at home if you leave your kids at home.

There is a school in Augusta that teaches leadership. Graduates become movers and shakers. It is obvious that none of our commissioners have ever sat in one leadership class. They can’t plan a time for a meeting to begin and end. The courthouse and new civic cen-

ter remain a mirage. Well, they have accomplished two things. One, they make civic center meetings appear business-like. Two, they make ANIC appear to be builder-like. Yeah, ANIC may move slow, but the cement is dry on that mirage.

According to a recent U.S. bureau statistics announcement, in about 50 years, white Americans will become a minority race. This may happen even sooner if we fail to rapidly deport every illegal immigrant while establishing a moratorium on all legal immigrants until this horrible mess is replaced by a more limited and effectively policed program. Right now, we can’t even get Congress to vote on making English our national language of government!

This is response to the April 18 Insider talking about the morale at public works. Yes, morale at public works at its lowest since the word morale was invented. To top it off, we are now struggling to take up slack created by so many vacancies.

Call our Whine Line at 510-2051 and leave your comments. We won’t use your name. Fax your whines by dialing (706) 733-6663 or e-mail your whines to whine@metrospirit.com.

Georgia Golf Hall of Fame’s

Botanical Gardens present

Monday • 7:30pm Channel 4

By Rebecca Gilman

Directed by Thurmond Whatley

~ Upcoming Events ~

April 2-4 • 9-10 • 16-17

Donation: $3.00 per person

Garden Members Attend Free!

(Donation includes discount admission to the Gardens, session handouts and supplies)

The Border

Advance Reservations Requested.

Contact (706) 724-4443 or bjohnson@gghf.org

Beer Bash BENEFITING THE

Knights of Columbus

The Augusta Mini-Theatre PRESENTS

THE AUGUSTA PLAYERS

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METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 15, 2004

PRESENT

The Wi z ...and much more!

Call in your questions & comments to 739-1822 or e-mail at connectlive@comcast.net Replays: Daily at 12 Noon, 3pm, and 10:30pm on

Channel 66

Educational Sessions will feature local experts, including Jenny Addie, Milledge and Joanne Peterson, and Master Gardeners Jim Blount and Bill Adams.

Separate hands-on, fun activities will be available for children during these sessions.

THE AUGUSTA GREEN JACKETS

A Little Bit of This, A Little Bit of That

“Roots of Gardening” Series

A suspenseful tale about the unraveling of a strong woman’s sense of security and the stalker who changed her life forever.

For Reservations Call:(803)

648-1438

E-Mail Us: info@aikencommunityplayhouse.com

MATURE THEME AND EXPLICIT LANGUAGE

Thur., April 15; 6:30-7:30pm - ABCs of planting: Compost, how to plant, acclimating seeds, vegetables/herbs, what to plant now.

Thur., May 20; 6:30-7:30 pm- Lawns: Aeration, seeding/overseeding, de-thatching, fertilizer, lime, what to plant now.

Thur., June 17; 6:30-7:30pm- Maintenance: Watering & fertilizing, mulching, what to plant now.

Thur., July 15; 6:30-7:30pm- Pests: Pest control, plant diseases, problems.

Thur., August 19; 6:30-7:30pm - Grooming: Pruning, diving perennials, collecting seeds, dead-heading, what to plant now.

Thur., September 16; 6:30-7:30pm - More

Maintenance: Composting, raking leaves, harvesting, what to plant now.

Thur., October 21; 6:30-7:30pm - Preparing for Winter: Planting trees/shrubs/bulbs, transplanting, mulch, what to plant now.

One Eleventh Street • 706-724-4443 • www.gghf.org

Sophisticated new styling with plenty of seats.

Come on over and see what’s new from Honda. Because at Gerald Jones Honda, our dealership is brand-new from the ground up. Take a test-drive in the 2004 Accord, our one-of-a-kind Element or the Pilot SUV. And don’t forget the Civic, CR-V, Odyssey and the S2000. Or check out one of our Honda Certifıed Used Cars. So stop by soon and see all of the Honda models in their very special new home.

4022 Washington Road Martinez, Georgia 30907 (706) 228-7000 geraldjoneshonda.com

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 15, 2004

Gerald Jones Honda

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Summer Camp Expo Sunday, April 25 12:30 pm - 6 pm Lower Level Piccadilly Wing

Don’t miss this great opportunity for parents and children to learn more about a variety of summer camps available in the CSRA – from art and music to sports and recreation.

for more information, call augusta mall customer service

733-1001 (option 4)

“I’d like to ask you a question…”

If Duggan Heating & A/C gave you $237, would you call them? If I could use the telephone, I’d call them myself.

But enough about me.

Let’s talk about why YOU should call Duggan Heating & A/C. There are lots of reasons and they all have to do with saving you money. (Grown-ups like that.)

How about a FREE Home Energy Survey or System Diagnostic?

(So you don’t waste your allowance.) If they spot something that’ll save energy for you or add system life, they’ll suggest how to fix it.

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METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 15, 2004

Free Energy Survey or System Inspection ...$69 value Free Carbon Monoxide Test....................$69 value Free Duct Inspection...........................$99 value Total: $237 You can put the savings toward my college fund. Or invest the extra money in candy.

Either way is fine with me.

Just call Kathy at 706-733-8703.

OPINION

Letters

Bugs? Termites?

ALLSTATE

TERMITE & PEST CONTROL Over 30 years Experience

860-BUGS

Supports Libertarian Party

D

The MCG Movement Disorders Program invites you to a free ear Editor,

After reading Mr. Corley’s letter to the editor (April 8-14 issue) explaining his stance on liberal issues, I felt that I should address a third point of view. I say the third point of view because I’m sure you have been inundated by several Republicans who feel a need to defend conservatism, even though the idea of conservative and Republican is quite a stretch under the current administration.

Mr. Corley starts out stating that the previous whiner probably doesn’t understand what the term “liberal” is.

Well, I would contend that the same could be said of Mr. Corley. It would have been fine if he would have stuck with either the classic liberal thinking of the founding fathers or the modern liberal thinking of our past century. But he mixed the two together in a fashion that needs to be corrected.

The terms liberal and conservative can be misleading as they have different meanings in different places and different times, so it is understandable to confuse the issue by using these terms. The most glaring misrepresentation is when Mr. Corley both praises Thomas Jefferson as a great liberal and praises Social Security as a great liberal accomplishment. Jefferson was a great opponent of the expansion of the government and contributed greatly to the Constitution in restricting the government as much as possible with

the warning that the natural tendency of all governments is to grow.

Jefferson’s principles tend to be counter to almost all of the modernday liberals’ viewpoints.

Jefferson’s views helped our country get to where we are and we’d probably be leaps and bounds beyond where we are today if we’d only stuck with his early vision. But neither of the two main parties have any real connection to his principles or those of the classic liberals. The only people who hold the principles of individual freedom, personal responsibility and smaller government are Libertarians. They are the only true holders of the torch of what it meant to be liberal in the founding days of our country. Fighting to end the tyranny in our lives is a battle that never ends.

To watch Democrats and Republicans go at each other in a quest to win the support of the people is like watching a wolf and a fox trying to convince a chicken that it is he who should be allowed in her hen house.

Which party is it that fights for the principles that this country was founded upon? Who fights for a government so small that it could fit inside the Constitution?

(Hint: It isn’t the Republicans or the Democrats!)

Sincerely, Chad Elwartowski Regional Director Georgia Libertarian Party

In Defense of Confederate Flaggers ear Editor,

Mike Griffith

April 17, 9 a.m. - 12 noon People with Parkinson’s disease, family and friends are invited. Issues addressed include future treatments, neuropsychiatric symptoms, non-motor functions and surgical perspectives of Parkinson’s Disease.

Registration is free but required. Seating is limited, so please register early by calling (706) 721-2798 between 9 a.m. and 4 p.m.

Monday through Friday.

Saturday, April 17, 2004 9 a.m. - 12 noon Registration 8:30 a.m. - 9:00 a.m.

Sheraton Augusta Hotel 2651 Perimeter Parkway (Wheelchair accessible)

ARE YOU AN OVERWEIGHT DIABETIC? Clinical Research Trial of an Investigational Medication for Possible Weight Loss You May Qualify if You Are: • age 18-75 • diabetic, treated with diet or glucophage/Metformin • 30-150 pounds overweight • otherwise healthy All study related care, including; Study-related medications, visits and procedures are provided at no charge. Travel compensation and glucometer provided.

For more information, call

CSRA Partners in Health Diane K. Smith, MD 1220 Augusta West Parkway Augusta, GA 30909 706.860.3001

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Regarding the “Thumbs Down” editorial on Confederate flaggers (April 8-14 issue) I found the article’s tone to be intolerant and mean-spirited.

It seems that Southerners who are proud of their Confederate ancestors and heritage are now viewed by some people as “safe” targets for hate, bigotry and intolerance.

If a group of Cherokee Indians had held a rally with traditional Cherokee flags and had protested the theft of their lands and the killing of their

ancestors, I bet the author of the “Thumbs Down” article would not have dared to call them “knuckleheads,” suggest they were refighting the Indian wars and proposed that they face off against U.S. Army Special Forces.

It seems that such rudeness and bigotry are reserved only for Southerners who are proud of their heritage and who aren’t happy with the undemocratic way that the ‘56 flag was replaced.

Parkinson’s Disease Symposium

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 15, 2004

D

(860-2847)

OPINION

“I know my body & how to stay healthy!”

Insider

For confidential healthcare: cancer screenings birth control emergency contraception STD tests Free pregnancy tests - call for info services for women & men

Kolb Is Safe, For Now Planned Parenthood®

1289 Broad Street ~ 724-5557

Every hour in America there are 2 murders 2 drunk driving deaths 28 rapes 58 robberies 67 attacks on women by someone they know 103 neglectful or abusive acts toward children 157 stalkings 163 violent attacks on 12- to 17-year-olds in school 349 burglaries 523 assaults 1,540 thefts

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METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 15, 2004

VICTIMS’ RIGHTS A M E R I C A’ S VA L U E S NATIONAL CRIME VICTIMS’ RIGHTS WEEK APRIL 18-24, 2004

Sponsored by the Augusta Judicial Circuit Domestic Violence Task Force

L

ast week, The Insider reported that Augusta’s city administrator was on the verge of losing his job. Mayor Bob Young and a majority of commissioners thought a deal was set to dismiss George Kolb and to relieve Public Works director Teresa Smith of her duties. An old-fashioned political horse-trading event was in the making. Then, as suddenly as the deal came together, it fell apart.

Several African-American commissioners, led by Commissioner Marion Williams, have been after Kolb for months. And several commissioners who have previously supported Kolb are upset with the operation of the public works department. Rumors of an agreement between the two factions, a deal that would result in trading votes (Smith for Kolb), have circulated for months. Finally, a concerted effort was launched to accomplish the goals of both groups. As a result, the perception last week was that an agreement had been sealed.

Reliable sources report that the mayor “reached out” to Commissioner Marion Williams in an effort to work the deal, suggesting that the votes to oust Kolb could be delivered if Williams could get the votes to remove Smith as director at public works.

Initially, there were discussions of that probability and it appeared, at least to the mayor and several commissioners, that it was a done deal. Not so.

As usual, the devil is in the details.

Insiders report that several AfricanAmerican commissioners eventually balked at dumping Smith and the white commissioners who were willing to sacrifice Kolb are not going to vote for his ouster unless Smith is part of the deal. Stalemate.

Apparently, Kolb is on the job a bit longer, as is Smith. Perhaps the city administrator should dust off his resume. No doubt he’s thinking the same thing himself. His contract expires at the end of the year. He may or may not hang on until then, but the way things stand today, it is inconceivable that he will be around in 2005.

Election Qualifying Deadline Approaches As the April 30 qualifying deadline for the July primary election looms in the near future, the political buzz is in high gear.

Here’s the word on the street.

• Former state Sen. Charles Walker is apparently attempting to paint his likely Democratic primary opponent Ed Tarver in a very unflattering light within the AfricanAmerican community in District 22.

According to very reliable sources, Walker supporters are saying that Tarver has not been

involved enough in the black community to represent the majority AfricanAmerican district.

While spreading the word that Walker has always stood up for and worked for his black constituency, they question George Kolb Tarver’s ability to relate to the average black voter in the district. African-American leaders are also making sure black voters know that Tarver is an attorney at Hull, Towill, Norman, Barrett & Salley, the law firm that represents The Augusta Chronicle.

Many African-Americans don’t care for the past editorial stance of the daily newspaper and Walker supporters are attempting to use Tarver’s association with the law firm representing the newspaper against him.

Meanwhile, the big question is whether Walker will be indicted. Insiders say “it’s coming.” If the feds are going to indict, let’s hope they do it prior to the beginning of the campaign. We’ll see.

• Southside pols are still attempting to recruit someone to run against state Sen. Randy Hall, who, after redistricting, is now the sole incumbent in district 23. As reported previously in The Insider, Hall’s position against the Confederate flag angered many people in the district. Former Augusta Commissioner J.B. Powell has been approached and says he is considering it but it is highly improbable that he will ultimately run. His family isn’t crazy about the idea and his business is on a roll.

Bad timing for Powell to run. Hall is a solid state Senator and he proved himself thoughtful and conscientious during his first term.

District 23 should leave well enough alone and support Hall.

• Richmond County Solicitor Sheryl Jolly is running for the Superior Court judge seat being vacated by retiring Judge Albert Pickett. Chief Assistant Solicitor Harold Jones has announced he will run for solicitor. Rumors that Ashley Wright, from the District Attorney’s office, will run against him have apparently given way to the reality that she will not likely seek the office. At least that’s what she’s telling people.

Currently, there are no other names floating around. Will Jones get a free pass?

The views expressed in this column are the views of The Insider and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

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METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 15, 2004

GERALD JONES AUDI

METRO BEAT

Commission

Airport’s Finance Director Debate Continues

W

14

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 15, 2004

hen Augusta Regional Airport Director Buster Boshears hired his preferred candidate, Tammy Strange, for the vacant finance director’s position at the airport, little did he know that in government, a personnel matter can be a department head’s biggest pitfall.

On the same day that Strange, the city’s former assistant finance director, started her first day of work at the airport on April 12, Boshears was back before the Augusta Commission for the third week in a row asking commissioners to approve an annual salary of $68,000 for Strange.

But when commissioners learned that Strange had already accepted the airport position and was currently working at the same $64,600 annual salary of her former job in the finance department, they wanted to know why they should approve the requested increase.

“How do you get someone to agree to already work and then ask for an increase after they’ve already started working?”

Augusta Commission Bobby Hankerson asked Boshears. “I mean, why are we considering adjusting this salary now?”

Augusta Commissioner Marion Williams said he was shocked to learn that Strange had already been hired by the airport before her salary was set.

“I would like to know when this person got in place,” Williams said to Boshears. “Are they working or are they not working?”

“Today was her first day of work,” Boshears replied.

Williams said he felt the advertising for the vacant finance director’s position and the hiring of Strange had been riddled with problems from the beginning.

The position first became vacant in October 2003, when the airport’s thenfinance director Leslie Carter resigned to accept a new job in Texas.

Initially, the airport posted a public advertisement requesting applications for an “administrative and finance manager” at an annual salary of $47,260 on Oct. 9, 2003.

The ad was scheduled to run until the position was filled.

But, according to Boshears, the airport never received any qualified candidates.

“We made the decision that we did not have a qualified applicant when we advertised the first time,” Boshears said to the commission’s administrative services committee. “It is my understanding we can go

back and re-advertise the position, which is what we did.”

On March 1, Boshears submitted a second advertisement for the position that was scheduled to run one week and would allow only current Augusta employees to apply for the job.

There was also a significant change in the advertised salary. The first public advertisement offered $47,260 a year, while the intergovernmental ad listed the salary at $58,023 a year.

And while the figure of $58,023 was listed in the second advertisement, it was clear the airport intended to pay more for the

By Stacey Eidson

Williams insisted that he had no problem with Boshears’ choice of Strange, only a problem with the manner in which she was hired.

“I think it’s unfair,” Williams said. “If we are going to hand-pick people to go to that position, I have a problem with that. I’ve got no problem with this person. This person may still be the best qualified person, but if we don’t advertise and give everybody an opportunity, then we are being onesided. And that’s the same system that this city has been operating under for 200 years and we’ve been trying to change that.”

Augusta Aviation Commission Chairman

Bobby Hankerson

“How do you get someone to agree to already work and then ask for an increase (in salary) after they’ve already started working?”

– Augusta Commissioner Bobby Hankerson

new finance director.

Less than one week before the March 1 advertisement was posted, the Augusta Aviation Commission voted to increase the salary of the vacant finance director’s position to $68,000.

Williams pointed out that, if the airport had publicly advertised the finance director’s position at $68,000, the airport most likely would have received more qualified applicants.

“My complaint is, we did not advertise this job to the general public at this pay level,” Williams said. “The airport advertised it at a lower pay level. They said they got some applicants, but not any good ones. Well, when you change the pay, you may have gotten some good ones.”

Cedric Johnson explained to the committee that Boshears was simply trying to find the best candidate for the vacant position.

“What happened was, Mr. Boshears did put out an advertisement,” Johnson said, referring to the initial October public advertisement. “And we had someone come in from one of the local accounting firms to handle things in the interim when our other finance director left.”

Michael Wiseman, a local accountant from the airport’s internal audit firm, Baird & Co., was asked to handle the airport’s finances until Strange was hired this week.

“Once Michael got in there, we found out some things hadn’t been done the way we thought they should have been done,”

Johnson said. “So, we told Buster (Boshears) we wanted him to get more of an administrative-type person for the finance director’s position, instead of a clerk-type person.

“So, we told him to hold up on that position. The commission did that. It wasn’t Buster.”

While the airport was waiting to readvertise for the position, Johnson said, Boshears met Strange and felt she was perfect for the position.

“We did go back and advertise within the county at that ($58,023) salary,” Johnson said. “And it’s my understanding that’s legal.”

City Attorney Steve Shepard told the committee he would research the manner in which the position was advertised and make a ruling at the commission’s April 20 meeting as to whether the airport followed the city’s proper hiring procedures.

When Boshears selected Strange as his preferred candidate for the finance director’s position, Johnson said, the aviation commission wanted to support the new director’s decision.

“We’ve tried to stay out of that as a commission and let him hire the person he wants to hire,” Johnson said.

Williams said he appreciates the aviation commission’s desire to support Boshears, but he wanted to make sure that it was the right decision for the entire city.

“I think the airport is planning a 7-percent, across-the-board raise to the employees at the airport,” Williams said. “If this salary is raised to $68,000, will it be affected by the 7-percent increase or not?”

Johnson said, if the commission approves the $68,000 annual salary for Strange, she would not receive the 7-percent increase.

Hankerson pointed out, now that Strange has already accepted the position as the new finance director at the airport, it puts the commission in an awkward position.

“My understanding was that no one was in the position, that she was just a candidate,” Hankerson said. “Now that this person is already hired, the way in which she was hired, the advertising, is irrelevant because we are not addressing the hiring of an employee. We are addressing giving an employee a salary increase.

“So, we have to decide whether we are going to honor the increase that has been asked. Because if not, and we vote it down, this person will have to stay in the position at the current salary they are in.”

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15

The Art of the

B

rew

Photos courtesy of Brooklyn Brewery

T

16

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 15, 2004

here was a time in the not so distant past when the big three — Budweiser, Miller and Coors — ruled the beer industry. Not anymore, though.

Beginning about 20 years ago in the Pacific Northwest, America saw the rise of the microbrewery. Turning out small quantities (compared to the big three) of “craft” beers, these breweries focused on creating brews with different tastes and used more of products like barley instead of adjuncts like corn and rice found in mass-produced beers.

Americans gradually took notice of the more flavorful brews. Now, according to

many brewers, beer connoisseurs no longer have to travel to Europe to fulfill their beer longings.

“America is the best place to drink beer because we have the most variety,” stated Robin Ottaway, co-owner of Brooklyn Brewery in New York.

Craft brews often become staples of the areas in which they’re brewed, Ottaway said. Boston has Sam Adams and Harpoon; New Orleans has Abita; and New York has Brooklyn Brewery.

“We sell more draft beers in New York City than Miller, or we’re neck and neck,” Ottaway said.

But how does a small brewery without

the resources (i.e. massive corporate advertising and marketing departments) spread the word about their products to people in other areas of the country? The answer is beer festivals, the newest of which will be held in Augusta April 2324. Festivals like the inaugural Border Beer Bust, which will be held at the Riverwalk near the 8th Street Commons, allow consumers to indulge in a taste test — smaller quantities of several different brews — to see what the differences are.

“In the early stages that’s how you get the word out about your products,” Ottaway explained. “Beer festivals give you the opportunity to sample many

By Amy Fennell Christian

types of beers. Where else is the consumer going to get that opportunity?”

Four of Brooklyn Brewery’s creations will be available for tasting at the Border Beer Bust, and Hoptown Brewing Company’s beers are scheduled to make an appearance as well. Hoptown owner David Heist is also fond of beer festivals.

“There are only a few ways to get noticed at what you do,” he explained.

“You can win medals, but what good are medals if people don’t know what your beers taste like? It’s all about exposure.”

Heist notes that, with the exception of Sweetwater Brewing Company in Atlanta, Georgia doesn’t have a tradition

of craft beers, and that’s one of the reasons he’d like to make the trek.

“I’d like to come out and sit side by side with them and say, ‘You know, that’s not all that’s out there,’” Heist said of comparing his California-style ales — which are considered more full-bodied and flavored, or “aggressively hopped” as he likes to say, than others. “It’s fun to see people go ‘Holy sh**’ when they taste one of our beers because that’s usually their first reaction.

One of the reasons many believe Georgia doesn’t have a tradition of craft brews is a state law that capped the alcohol limit in beer to six percent. This left out those who might be interested in creating more traditional, European-style brews that have a higher alcohol content, and has prohibited retailers from carrying many of the brews already being produced by microbreweries in other states without this restriction.

Not everyone is convinced that that part of the law is the reason for the lack of microbreweries and brewpubs in this area, though.

Randy Doucet, brewmaster at Aiken Brewing Company, said that South Carolina has a similar alcohol-content cap to Georgia, but there are other aspects of the law that are more of a barrier. For instance, in South Carolina, brewpubs are allowed to produce craft beers and sell them at the restaurant, but aren’t allowed to sell them to other distributors or retailers.

“That is a limiting factor,” he said.

The Georgia law, he said, is a little more generous, allowing brewers to sell a very limited amount to distributors.

And while Doucet would welcome South Carolina upping the alcohol

Photo by Amy Fennell Christian

The Time Is Right

“Malt is the backbone of beer. It provides the fermentable sugars, colors and most of the flavor profile. It’s roasted to varying degrees to impart different colors and flavor characteristics.”

— Randy Doucet, brewmaster Aiken Brewing Company content limit, he said it wouldn’t change his brewing practices dramatically.

“It wouldn’t change the way we do business a lot,” he explained. “Some of

the beers we produce — the classic styles — we might go up from six to eight percent, but six percent is not a business barrier. I would welcome it — there are a couple of beers I’d like to make.”

Either way, it doesn’t look like that law-at least in Georgia — will be an issue much longer. By all accounts, House Bill 645, which redefines malt beverages as those “containing not more than 14 percent alcohol by volume,” should go into effect July 1. The timing, according to consultant Tres (pronounced “Trey”) Watson, who is organizing the Border Beer Bust for the Knights of Columbus, is a happy accident.

“We originally got into it before we even knew. The law has been up before and we didn’t know if it would pass or not,” Watson said. “It works out well for us because we have a couple of brewers that probably wouldn’t come if it hadn’t passed, so the answer is yes and no. It unintentionally coincides.”

The higher alcohol content beers won’t be available at this year’s festival, Watson said, but the annual event will really see the benefit in the future.

“The law change will really help us next year,” he said. “It will really grow the festival.

The new festival is enjoying great response, with about 110 beers from 1015 states and 4-5 foreign countries signed on. “For the first year of an event like this, that’s a pretty good number,” Watson said.

It helps that the Border Beer Bust is the only judged event on the East Coast, even though Watson said that they decided against going for national certification because of concerns over meeting guidelines and finding certified judges.

As a result, professionals and semiprofessionals in the field will make up part of the judging panel, with local continued on page 18

Photo by Amy

Randy Doucet’s love of brewing beer started out simply enough. He began brewing at home in the early ‘90s and was one of the founding members of the CSRA Home Brewing Club, a club that held monthly meetings and quarterly competitions.

It was in his capacity as club member that he first checked out the Aiken Brewing Company.

“In 1997, when the founders of Aiken Brewing Company were in the process of starting up, I went in to write an article about them for the club’s newsletter,” Doucet remembers.

The rest, as the old saying goes, is history. After volunteering his time at the brewpub, Doucet eventually became brewmaster, a position he holds even now.

Today, he doesn’t have much time for home brewing.

Instead, he and a staff of four part-time brewers (who also hold full-time jobs elsewhere) spend their time rotating between the brewpub’s 16 ale recipes, many of which — like their Thoroughbred Red and Randy’s Grand Cru — have won awards at the Great American Beer Festival, not to mention become local favorites.

And even as he prepares for the Border Beer Bash, Doucet is waiting for word on whether the six beers Aiken Brewing Company entered in the World Cup competition will garner even more awards. Not bad for something that started off as a hobby.

And if you’ve ever wondered what a brewmaster’s life is like, here’s a little taste.

Brewing schedule: Beer at Aiken Brewing Company is made when the restaurant is not open. “It heats up the building and not everyone likes the smell,” Doucet explained. That means a lot of weekend work, especially Sundays.

Brewing time: It takes 9-10 hours to brew one batch of beer.

One batch equals… 217 gallons or seven barrels.

Time from start to finish: It takes two weeks for Aiken Brewing Company’s ales to ferment, settle and age. “At that point they’re carbonated and put on the line,” Doucet said.

Average weekly sales: About 217 gallons a week.

Double that during Masters week.

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 15, 2004

Fennell Christia

n

Portrait of a Brewmaster

17

continued from page 17 aficionados making up the rest. Together they will judge beers according to about 20 categories, the most entered of which are the “pale ale” and “wheat” categories.

But, as Heist mentioned, winning awards is only part of the fun of a beer festival, and drinking until you puke isn’t really the point either. It’s more about the thrill of discovering something new and talking to the folks who actually make the beers. A spokesperson from each brewery represented at the Border Beer Bust will be on hand at all times during each day of the festival.

“These brewers, once you get to talking to them, are the neatest people I’ve ever talked to,” Watson said. “Every day it seems they wake up and thank God that they get to do their hobby for a living.”

Connoisseurs and non-connoisseurs alike should have a great time, Watson said.

“If you come down, you’ll be able to find a beer that you like — I can almost guarantee it,” he said. “It is for beer enthusiasts, but it’s also for people who don’t particularly care for beer but haven’t tried exotic beers.”

Border Beer Bust When: Friday, April 23, from 4-9 p.m. and Saturday, April 24, from 1-9 p.m.

Where: Riverwalk near the 8th Street Commons.

Benefits: The Knights of Columbus building fund.

How it works: There is no admission to the festival, but if you’d like to taste the craft brews, here’s how it works. $10 will get you a commemorative mug, a wristband and three tasting tickets good at any table under the craft brew tent. Each tasting will be between 3 and 3 1⁄2 ounces. Further tasting tickets will cost you $1 apiece.

Beer garden: Under a separate tent, patrons can shop, eat (vendors include Villa Europa, Hot Foods by Calvin, Pork Chops and Silla Café) and purchase full-size Budweiser products (you must stay in the beer garden with full-size beers, however). Nonalcoholic beverages will also be available.

Extras: Continuous live, local music.

Judging: Beer judging will take place Saturday morning at a separate venue.

Event organizer Tres Watson said he hopes the winners will be announced early Saturday evening so attendees can taste some of the winning brews.

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BITE Dieters Beware!

By Amy Fennell Christian

A

20

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 15, 2004

tkins. South Beach. Apparently, the diet industry has convinced us all that carbs are bad. Worse than bad, they’re evil and must be avoided at all costs. If you’ve waited what seems like years for the low-carb craze to end, you may be in for the long haul if you consider these Weight Watcher’s cards from 1974.

Sure they’re funny. Frankfurter Spectacular? No thanks. But notice the similarities between these cards (see more at www.candyboots.com) and Atkins: The preponderance of meat and gelatin, the lack of almost any carbohydrates or fruit.

These bizarrely funny and somewhat gruesome images (which Weight Watchers has renounced in more recent years, favoring a more balanced approach to dieting) lead us to wonder if, 20 years down the road, books like “Dr. Atkins’ Diet Revolution” and “The South Beach Diet” will be held up for similar ridicule.

Go to almost any diet Web site embracing Atkins and you’ll find all sorts of bizarre suggestions from fellow dieters, including using ground pork rinds as a coating when cooking chicken and, instead of bread, using two thinly-sliced and pan-fried pieces of mozzarella cheese in a sandwich. Surely these well-meaning dieters will, in a few years, look back on their Atkins days and mutter, “What was I thinking?”

So what are people thinking, we asked local dietician Kristen Jaskulsky.

“We just don’t think long-term,” Jaskulsky, a registered dietician at MCG, said. “We think here and now.”

It’s not difficult to see the lure of programs like Atkins, which made headlines when it first came out by telling people to skip the carbs, simple and complex alike, which the body burns first before moving on to fat. The theory is, with no carbs to burn the body will move straight to metabolizing fat. In return, dieters are told they can have as much as they want of normally taboo items — bacon, cheese, eggs, meat — and still lose weight.

“Anytime you tell people they can have a 20 ounce porterhouse with cheese on top of it, it’s exciting,” Jaskulsky said.

And men, some of whom would never think of trying other diets, have embraced Atkins with gusto.

“I think it’s the thrill of the protein and portion sizes,” Jaskulsky explained. “Men don’t want small portions — it’s not manly. The Atkins diet is

more manly.”

There are several negative side effects, though, especially if a dieter stays on Atkins for a long period of time. Bad breath, kidney stress and problems with bones because of lack of calcium are just a few. Then there’s dehydration and constipation.

“Carbs hold onto water, so if they’re not eating any carbs, its basically a lot of water they’re losing,” Jaskulsky said of the dehydration problem many dieters experience. “And they can’t go to the bathroom because they’re not getting any fiber.”

Unfortunately for those of us who could stand to lose a few pounds, there’s no easy fix. Even the thrill of Atkins soon wears off and dieters find themselves craving their old, carbohydrate favorites, Jaskulsky said. And that isn’t such a bad thing. After all, carbs — especially complex carbohydrates like whole grains — are our primary energy source. Without them, many dieters feel tired and lethargic, Jaskulsky said.

So carbs, despite what we’ve been told, aren’t evil, especially if everyone pays attention to portion size.

The much-maligned food pyramid urges everyone to consume 6-11 servings of carbs a day, which sounds like a lot until you consider that one serving is one slice of bread or 1/2 of a cup of rice.

“Well, most people eat two cups of rice and that’s several servings right there,” Jaskulsky explained.

“And you get three cups of pasta when you go to the Olive Garden.”

Besides adding carbs back to your diet in smaller portions, what are the components of a healthy diet?

Timing, Jaskulsky explains, is important.

“Many times, people skip breakfast and lunch and eat a big meal at dinner,” she explained, “but if you take that same amount and space it out over the day, your body can metabolize it much better.”

Jaskulsky advises her patients to eat 4-5 smaller meals a day instead of 2-3 bigger ones, and to focus on high-fiber foods and sources of lean protein. What you drink, she said, can also affect your calorie intake.

“I’ve had people doing two to three thousand calories a day in drinks and, obviously, if you cut that out you’re going to see some weight loss.”

Skip the sweet tea and sodas in favor of water, she continued, and don’t try to cut your calories too drastically, which will have a negative impact on your metabolism. Aim to lose about one to two pounds a week, incorporate exercise and plan to eat carbs early in the day so you’ll have a chance to burn them off.

And break the evening snacking habit, she said.

The most important component of healthy eating, she said, is to make a lifestyle change. Ask yourself, “Is this something I can do a month from now or, even, a year from now?” If not, don’t because the weight will come right back when you go off whatever plan you’re on. Instead, she suggested, change your mindset.

“They (dieters) need to make changes to see any results long-term,” Jaskulsky said. “They need to change their goals to make them more health-oriented than size-oriented.”

Though she doesn’t agree with Atkins, Jaskulsky suggests that people considering the plan read the entire book, skip the first two-week period in which carbs are cut out completely and stay away from simple, sugar-based carbs like sweets.

And as much as you may want to try it, we here at the Metro Spirit would add one other thing to Jaskulsky’s list: Stay far, far away from the Frankfurter Spectacular.

Happy dieting!

And the food’s pretty good, too!

Sure, you go to a restaurant for the delectable food and a bar for a cold beverage. But have you ever excused yourself from the table, walked into an establishment’s bathroom and been wowed by this often-neglected room’s décor?

Well, now’s your chance to nominate these luxurious lavatories for an upcoming

“Bite” feature. Simply e-mail your nominee to bite@metrospirit.com or fax it to (706) 733-6663. Include a brief description and reasons why your nominee merits consideration and we’ll make an unannounced visit to see if you’re right.

Who knows? Maybe you’ll see a picture of your nominee in an upcoming issue.

in the mix Sae Shin, an on-again, off-again resident of Augusta for 17 years, is a virtual jack of all trades.

He’s worked in the restaurant business, helped his family with the Vietnamese nightclub they owned in Atlanta and now owns Nail Time on Washington Road, where he works as a manicurist full-time.

He spends his “time off” tending bar at Modjeska.

Why bartending?

People always ask me why I don’t go home to my wife, but we’re together all day, so it’s a little bit of a break for me. I guess I’m a busybody. If I have a day or two off, I tend to get bored so I try to stay busy.

Down-time I like to relax, too. I love fishing, spending good time with my friends and spending time with my wife. I guess I’m just an average person.

What’s so great about fishing?

To me, you have to have a good friend with you.

Fishing isn’t all about fish — you have to have a friend there and a cold beer, so even if you’re not catching anything you still have someone to talk to.

Photo by Joe White

Strange customers The funniest thing happened at the nail salon. I was doing a lady’s nails and she had just had a baby and started breastfeeding right in front of me. That was the quickest I’ve ever done anyone’s nails.

Do customers really tell bartenders everything?

Oh yeah. One of these days I’m going to write a book on all the stories I hear. It’s kind of like a

soap opera. I think I know everything about Augusta. When people drink, they tend to tell the truth.

Can you tell us a good story?

What you say at the bar stays at the bar.

What his friends think about his business The funny thing is, when I first started, my friends would make fun of me and I’d say, “I get to hold women’s hands all day in the air conditioning and get paid for it.” I think they envy me now.

Does his wife Maria visit him at the bar?

She does occasionally. She says she doesn’t want to scare off the pretty ladies who tip me.

Ultimate vacation I’m from Vietnam and my wife’s from Mexico, so my ultimate vacation would be to go to Vietnam and Mexico all in one trip. I’m working on that.

Eating: in or out?

I like to try new restaurants, but I like to cook. I actually do most of the cooking in my house.

Whenever I see my mom, she asks me to cook rather than go out to eat. She likes my cooking.

Favorite thing to cook?

I don’t know if I have a favorite. I like steaks marinated in Korean barbeque sauce and anything Mexican.

Future plans?

I’ve always wanted to own an eclectic-style restaurant, but I’m still wondering how well it would take off in Augusta.

Sae

Shin

bartender, Modjeska Lounge

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METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 15, 2004

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ART S Coastal Painters Come to Gertrude Herbert

By Rhonda Jones

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ometimes, for whatever reason, paintings. They start from sort of unrecognizable having to ask certain questions marks and scratch. I take reference from the of artists can be a little landscape a lot, especially here in the Savannah embarassing. After having low country. I also take reference from the asked them, what feels like hundreds of times, human body.” certain questions can begin to seem as though Even landscapes figure into her work. And they came out of the “Arts & Entertainment 101 because of that, Cain said — because there are Cliffs Notes.” The question, “What inspires you physically recognizable elements in her work — to do what you do?” has taken on that she doesn’t classify her art as abstract. embarassing quality.

“When I’m at my When I posed it to best, I offer you a sort Savannah artist of mental landscape Elizabeth Cain, who where anything can will be exhibiting this happen,” she said. She month and next at the calls her work “playful” Gertrude Herbert and “imaginative,” and Institute of Art with describes an “undertow Alex Powers of Myrtle of conflicts of life and Beach, she laughed. living.”

“I guess that’s an So how did she get obvious question, but started? Her relationnot one I’ve thought ship with her art can about. I’m compelled be compared to a casuto do it. I can’t really al friendship that later see doing anything else blossomed into someother than making art. thing more. “I’ve It’s been a way of livalways been sort of ing my life and it interested in playing teaches me things.” around as a kid. It was ELIZABETH CAIN’S WORK IS NOT Asked if artists are not till I got into college able to see more than NECESSARILY ABSTRACT. that I fell in love with most other people, she acquiesced that, as an art. I didn’t know what it meant.” artist, she does indeed first have to observe. “I The pieces in her Augusta show, she said, are don’t paint directly from life, but I observe — from two series. “One is ‘Large Works on light, color, texture. And once you start doing Paper,’” she said. “It was done this past fall. It’s that, you’re mesmerized. very celebratory of fall color, with a hint of the “I’m constantly in this altered state of perceponcoming spring, new green growth. Very loose, tion,” she said with a laugh. and sort of joyful I think.

But as for whether artists are able to see more, “The other series is a collection of smaller she said they tend to train themselves to see gouache pieces — opaque watercolor. Freeform more. “I don’t think what they see is unavailable studies for painting. Again, they’re playful.” to anybody. I think anyone can learn to see the She said she finds Savannah’s slow pace same things that artists see, but that’s their allows her to remain open to inspiration, and that focus. So of course it takes practice and the she is most inspired by the low country. “I really inclination to spend the time that it takes to like the marsh. I live on the marsh. It’s another develop those sensibilities. Just like I think any- world — very powerful.” one can learn to draw.”

And now she is bringing a piece of that world As for her favorite subjects to work with, she to you. said, “I kind of bounce around. I invent my

Exhibit: “Works on Paper” Artists: Elizabeth Cain and Alex Powers Venue: Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art Reception: Thursday, April 22, 6-8 p.m.

Exhibit Dates: April 20 – May 28, 2004 Related Activities: Adult painting workshop April 24 For Info: (706) 722-5495

arts

One More Masterworks Concert

FORT GORDON IN DANGER? The Base Realignment and Closure (BRAC) Commission may list Fort Gordon as one of the bases scheduled for possible shut down in the near future.

By Rhonda Jones

T

he final concert in Augusta Symphony’s Masterworks series is going to be performed by violinist Xue-Wei, a musician who began playing the violin at the age of 8. China’s cultural revolution was taking place at the time.

At the age of 18, Xue-Wei (pronounced “shu-way”) began a spate of competition wins that included the Chinese National Violin Competition in 1986, the Carl Flesch International Competition in 1982 and the Japan International Violin Competition in 1983. After that, he moved to the UK and began winning international competitions. The year 1986 was a multiwin year for Xue-Wei, as he took home the Silver Medal at the 8th International Tchaikovsky Competition in Moscow and the Gold Medal at the Carl Flesch International Violin Competition in London.

He also won the Audience Prize, the Orchestra Prize and the Sonata Prize and was voted the LPO/Pioneer UK Young Soloist of the Year. In 1989, he began teaching at the Royal Academy of Music in London.

He moved to Los Angeles in 1999 and travels frequently to Europe as well as to other parts of the U.S. to perform. He also experiences violin competitions from the other side these days — as a judge.

He will play “Polovtsian Dances” From “Prince Igor” by Aleksandr Borodin, “Fantasy on Scottish Folk Melodies for Violin and Orchestra, Op. 46” by Max Bruch (1838-1920), the “Butterfly Lovers” violin concerto

by Chen Gang and He Zhan-hao (both b. 1932), and a suite from “The Firebird” by Igor Stravinsky (18821971).

The ‘CSRA Alliance for Fort Gordon’ has been formed to prevent this, but we need the help of the entire Augusta community to succeed.

Consider the vital role Fort Gordon plays in the CSRA. Fort Gordon is the CSRA’s largest employer with a workforce of more than 12,500 military and nearly 5,000 civilians.

Fort Gordon’s income impact of $1.2 billion goes directly into area retail stores, banks, real estate and other businesses.

28 percent of employed Richmond Countyresidents have jobs because of Fort Gordon; 14 percent in Columbia County.

Nearly 13,000 military retirees live in the CSRA, generating $214 million in military retirement income.

Fort Gordon impacts surrounding counties like Aiken, Edgefield, Burke, Jefferson & McDuffie.

FIVE FORT for the

“Five for the Fort” is your chance to help.

Many hands make light work. By giving just five dollars you can support Fort Gordon through the CSRA Alliance. Funds raised will be directed towards projects and programs committed to keeping Fort Gordon open.

Please support this effort to save not only Fort Gordon, but the entire CSRA and receive a CSRA Alliance “Defending the Future” bumper sticker!

I gave my five!

! ! !

I support the CSRA Alliance!

Enclosed is my gift of $5.

I’d like to give more, enclosed is my gift of: ! $10 ! $20 ! $50 ! $75 ! $100 ! $________________

Name Address City Zip

Phone Email

Program: “Highlands to the Orient” Performer: Xue-Wei, violinist Host Company: Augusta Symphony Venue: Grover C. Maxwell Performing

Arts Company, ASU Times: Saturday, April 24, 2004 at 8 p.m.

For Info: (706) 826-4705

!

I would like to serve as a volunteer.

Please make checks payable to: CSRA Alliance Mail form and check to: P.O. Box 670 Augusta, GA 30903

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 15, 2004

State

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arts

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METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 15, 2004

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“Disney on Ice Presents Princess Classics” at Civic Center

By Rhonda Jones

D

isney has outdone itself. Not one, but seven fairytale princesses will be featured in the latest Disney on Ice show: “Disney on Ice Presents Princess Classics.”

The ice rink is set to become a jeweled, threestory revolving castle, which will morph into one setting after another as the audience experiences the homes of each princess. According to materials provided by the Disney corporation, the set for this show is larger than most stages on Broadway. It weighs eight tons, and will stand 33 feet tall. There will even be lights, designed

by Emmy Award-winning lighting designer Peter Morse.

Mark Freddes, vice president of costumes and scenic elements for Feld Entertainment, Inc., calls it a big jigsaw puzzle.

As the castle twists, you will go on a trip around the world. The Disney world, that is. You will see Cinderella’s 18th century English castle, Ariel’s underwater kingdom, a medieval home for Princess Aurora of “Sleeping Beauty,” a French castle for Belle of “Beauty and the Beast,” Mulan’s far-eastern wonderland … and a Tyrolean house for Snow White.

But, though the castle is a functional machination that will allow it to assume so many identities, set and lighting designers have not skimped on the beauty and the magic. Promotional materials liken it to a multi-faceted jewel in which colors help the set make the transformations from one world to the next. Ariel’s world is characterized by fluorescents; the French Beast lives in a world of stern greys and stained glass; Cinderella gets lavender, blue and silver. The finale is clothed in white and gold. The castle even disappears at one point in the production, only to reappear later.

Intricate gates complete the picture.

The princesses and their princes, as well as the other characters, will give you and your children an intense and moving show of synchronized skating and colorful costumes.

Creative choice of materials has been as much of an ingredient as creative assembly, in costume designer Gregg Barnes’ quest to make magic.

He has used sheers sparkles, Victorian bed netting for an apron, and intricately designed material in place of a simple purple coat lining. But don’t think all of these costumes were created in one monolithic seamstress’ shop: 13 shops across the country, in California, Florida and New York pitched in to clothe this flock of skaters.

And like the set designer, Barnes had to come to terms with not only creating things of beauty, but of making them so that the skaters could actually use them. He had to be careful of length and flow, so that the garments would not get in

the way of the skaters’ movements.

In order to make such a grand production come true, producer Kenneth Feld has had to enlist the services of over 40 award-winning figure skaters from around the world, and Tom Dickson and Catarina Lindgren to guide them all. In 2002, he took home the Choreographer of the Year award from the Professional Skaters Association and the United States Professional Figure Skating Association. Lindgren, his wife, is a former Olympian.

The value of the show? Scenic designer Eduardo Sicangco is reported to have said it’s all about providing a place for people, adults and children alike, to escape to. “Now more than ever, there’s a need for people to go back to a place they feel secure – their comfort zones. At Disney on Ice, we are able to retell the stories we knew as children, and that our children love today, in wonderful, dazzling ways. I think that is the beauty of this show.”

Performance: Disney’s Princess on Ice Classics Venue: Augusta-Richmond County Civic Center Times: Thursday, April 22, 7 p.m.; Friday, April 23, 7 p.m.; Saturday, April 24, 11 a.m., 3 p.m., 7 p.m.; Sunday, April 25, 1 p.m. and 5 p.m.

Tickets: www.disneyonice.com or (706) 828-7700.

Prices: Front Row $30, V.I.P. $25, First Level $19, Upper Level $12 Web Sites: www.disneyonice.com , http://augustaciviccenter.com/ Phone: (706) 722-3521 E-mail: info@arccc.com

Kids

Learning

Volunteers

Sports

Calendar Health

Education

Out of Town Music

Special

Benefits Meetings Theater Auditions Exhibitions Attractions MuseumsArts Seniors Dance Arts

ARTIST NINA BENEDETTO exhibits works April 23, 7-10 p.m., at 4527 Bellingham Court in Stratford subdivision, Evans. To RSVP or for directions, call Helen Stephens at 650-1618, Barbara Coleman at 733-7481 or Evelyn Browne at 863-4553. Or e-mail HelenS@AugustaPrep.org, bcoleman@aug.edu or ewbrowne@aol.com.

Auditions ENOPION THEATRE COMPANY is looking for volunteers to act, sing, sew, build and more for their new musical, “Creation.” Applications are available at www.imaryproductions.com or by calling (803) 442-9039.

Dance

SWEET ADELINES HARMONY RIVER CHORUS OPEN REHEARSAL for singers each Thursday at 7 p.m. at Church of Christ, 600 Martintown Rd. in North Augusta.

They are on the lookout for voices in the lower ranges.

Contact Stacy Branch at 877-9931.

THE AUGUSTA INTERNATIONAL FOLK DANCE CLUB meets Thursday evenings at 7:30 p.m. No partners are needed and newcomers are welcome. Call 737-6299 for location and info.

AUGUSTA CHILDREN’S CHORALE is holding auditions on three Saturdays this spring, beginning in March. For more information, call 826-4718.

THE DANCES OF UNIVERSAL PEACE held the first Saturday of every month, 7-9 p.m., at the Unitarian Church of Augusta, honor the religious traditions of the world through song and movement. Call (803) 643-0460 for more information.

THE BEECH ISLAND HISTORICAL SOCIETY is looking for a couple to duplicate a wedding that took place on the Sandbar Ferry Bridge in 1924. Clothing, vintage automobile, media coverage, minister and music will be provided at no cost to the wedding couple. The Historical Society would like the groom to be from Georgia and the bride to be from South Carolina. For more information, contact Joan Harrison at (803) 827-3209 or The Beech Island Historical Society at (803) 867-3600.

MISSOULA CHILDREN’S THEATRE auditions for a modern-day “Hansel & Gretel” to be held on April 19 from 4:45-6:45 p.m. Auditions are to be held in the Fort Gordon Youth Services Building 45410, and are open to the public, ages K-12. For more information, call 791-4389.

OPEN AUDITIONS to be held on April 17 from 2-5 p.m. for young student singers to perform with a dynamic group. Auditions will be held at Belle Terrace Presbyterian Church. For more information, call 798-6090.

Education ISRAELI DANCE WORKSHOP at the Augusta Jewish Community Center Sunday afternoons, 4-5 p.m. Open to teens and adults; no experience or partners are necessary.

Cost is $2 per session, with the first session free. For information or to schedule a pre-class beginner/refresher session, contact Jackie Cohen, 738-9016.

THE AUGUSTA GOLF & BOTANICAL GARDENS OF THE GEORGIA GOLF HALL OF FAME IS OPEN EVERYDAY EXCEPT MONDAYS. Ave., or at the Augusta Jewish Community Center. Call 731-0008 for details.

YARN ART WORKSHOP at the Appleby Branch Library on April 20 from 11 a.m.-noon, and at the Maxwell Branch Library on April 20 from 6-7 p.m. Registration required. For more information, call the Appleby Branch at 736-6244 or the Maxwell Branch at 7932020.

Exhibitions SOUTH CAROLINA WATERCOLOR SOCIETY ANNUAL EXHIBITION AND ART MARKET April 16-17 and 19-22 at the Aiken Center for the Arts. Call (803) 641-9094.

MILITARY HISTORY EXHIBITION featuring ASU student projects will be at Washington Hall Towers on the ASU campus April 17, 10 a.m.-noon. For more information, contact Hubert van Tuyll at 737-1709.

RICHARD JOLLEY, sculptor of glass, will display works through May 9 at the Morris Museum of Art. For more information, call 724-7501.

GRADUATING SENIORS ART EXHIBITION at ASU’s Fine Arts Gallery through April 30. Free. For more information, call 737-1878.

JANOS ENYEDI: “THE AMERICAN INDUSTRIAL LANDSCAPE — RECONSTRUCTED” will be on view at the Morris Museum of Art through May 30. For more information, call 724-7501.

SENIOR VISUAL ART EXIT SHOW by Davidson Fine Arts School runs through April 30 at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art. For more information, call 823-6924, ext. 153.

WORKS OF TOM NAKASHIMA AND JANOS ENYEDI will be on display at the Mary Pauline Gallery through May 29.

For more information, call 724-9542.

ELIZABETH CAIN & ALEX POWERS: “WORKS ON PAPER” — Georgia and South Carolina coast painters come to Augusta for a two-person exhibit at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art April 20-May 28. Special reception Thursday, April 22, 6-8 p.m. Painting workshop with Cain April 24, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. To register, call (706) 722-5495.

WORKS BY JIM HARRISON will be featured at a special customer appreciation show at the Nancy Carson Library in North Augusta, S.C. April 25, 2-5 p.m. For info, call 1800-793-5796.

HARRIET MARSHALL GOODE: “PERSONAL HISTORY BOX,” an exhibit of watercolor and acrylic paintings, will be shown April 15-May 29 at Rabold Gallery in Aiken.

(703) 641-4405.

JOHN BERRY performs at the Imperial Theatre April 16, 8 p.m. Tickets are $20 and are available by calling 722-8341.

FINAL SPRING CONCERT AT THE COMMON will be held May 1 from 7-9 p.m. For more information, call 821-1754.

THIRD DAY AND TOBY MAC perform live at the Augusta Civic Center April 15 at 7 p.m. For more information, call 722-3521.

YOUNG VOICES RAISED IN SONG will be presented at the Morris Museum of Art by the Augusta Children’s Chorale on April 18 at 2 p.m. For more information, visit www.augustachildrenschorale.org.

FRED MILLS AND BULLDOG BRASS perform at ASU’s Maxwell Performing Arts Theater on April 16 at 8 p.m.

Call 737-1453 for more information.

ASU JAZZ ENSEMBLE CONCERT on April 20 at 8 p.m. and an ASU Wind Ensemble concert on April 21 at 8 p.m., both in the Maxwell Performing Arts Theater. For more information, call 737-1453.

1ST ANNUAL AIKEN BLUEGRASS FESTIVAL takes place April 30 and May 1 in the Washington Theatre in downtown Aiken. For information, call (803) 502-4746 or (803) 648-6719.

CANDLELIGHT JAZZ LINEUP BEGINS May 2 at Augusta Common, 7 p.m. featuring the Jerry Harris Tribute Band, Kenny Carr & the Tigers and Damien Sneed & Akua Aidoo. For information, call (706) 821-1754 or visit www.gardencityjazz.com.

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ART CLASSES FOR CHILDREN AND ADULTS at the Art Factory. The Art Factory also has a homeschool program and scholarships are available. Programs include painting, pottery, pilates, hip-hop and modern dance and more. Classes are held at the Art Factory, 418 Crawford

Music

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 15, 2004

ART CLASSES AND WORKSHOPS are offered yearround at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art. Classes and workshops are open to toddlers through adults and feature instruction in drawing, painting, photography, pottery, weaving and sculpture. For a newsletter or detailed information on registering for classes at the Gertrude Herbert, call 722-5495. The Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art also offers educational tours; for information, contact the education director at the above telephone number.

AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF THE UNITED STATES AMATEUR BALLROOM DANCERS ASSOCIATION holds a dance the first Saturday of each month from 7:15-11 p.m. Cost is $7 for members and $10 for non-members. Held at the BPOE facility on Elkdom Court. Contact Melvis Lovett, 733-3890, or Jean Avery, 863-4186, for information.

THE STORY OF JAZZ will take place at the Morris Museum of Art, April 20. For info, phone Quiet Storm at (706) 724-7501.

2ND BI-ANNUAL BANDFEST, featuring Blessid Union of Souls, will be at USC-Aiken April 23. For information, call (803) 221-4325, (803) 641-3354 or (614) 4511100.

KEITH SHAFER WILL PLAY NEW ZIMMER DIGITAL ORGAN at Saint Bartholomew’s Episcopal Church in North Augusta April 25 at 4 p.m. Organ to be dedicated in free concert. For info: d.neches@comcast.net or kshafer@saintpauls.org.

Theatre “A NIGHT BY THE FOUNTAIN” poetry and prose reading sponsored by “Broken Ink,” USC-Aiken’s literary magazine, 7 p.m. April 21. The event will be held by the fountain in the USC-Aiken Quad. For more information, contact Jessica Baptiste or Clinton Strickland at (803) 641-3354.

“ANNE OF THE GREEN GABLES” will be on April 17 at the Aiken Community Playhouse at 2 p.m. and April 18 and 19 at 7 p.m. For more information, call (803) 648-1438.

HEADQUARTERS LIBRARY FILM SERIES will show “Grave of the Fireflies” April 19. Show time is 6:30 p.m., and admission is free. For more information, call 821-2600.

“STEP’N IN THE NAME OF LOVE” will be at the Bell Auditorium on April 17 at 8 p.m. For more information, call 722-3521.

JAZZ ON FILM series will begin with a presentation of “The Story of Jazz” on April 20 at 7 p.m. at the Morris Museum of Art. For more information, call 495-6238.

MISSOULA CHILDREN’S THEATRE WILL PERFORM a modern-day “Hansel & Gretel,” Saturday, April 24 at 3 and 7 p.m. at the Fort Gordon Performing Arts Center.

Attractions

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METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 15, 2004

MOTORIZED TOURS OF HISTORIC AIKEN every Saturday, 10-11:30 a.m. Tours leave from the Washington Center for the Performing Arts. Reservations are required, and patrons must be age 2 and older. (803) 642-7631.

AUGUSTA CANAL INTERPRETIVE CENTER: Housed in Enterprise Mill, the center contains displays and models focusing on the Augusta Canal’s functions and importance to the textile industry. Hours are Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m. and Sun., 1-6 p.m. Admission is $5 adult, $4 seniors and military and $3 children ages 6-18. Children under 6 admitted free. Guided boat tours of the Augusta Canal depart from the docks at Enterprise Mill at 11 a.m., 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m. Saturdays and Tuesdays and Thursdays at 11 a.m. and 1:30 p.m. Tour tickets are $6 adults, $5 seniors and $4 students and children. For tour information, call 823-7089.

For other info, visit www.augustacanal.com or call 8230440.

THE BOYHOOD HOME OF WOODROW WILSON: Circa 1859 Presbyterian manse occupied by the family of President Woodrow Wilson as a child during the Civil War and Reconstruction. Original and period antiques, restored house, kitchen and carriage house. 419 Seventh Street.

Open 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Tues.-Sat. Tours available; groups of 10 or more by appointment only. Admission is $5 adults, $4 seniors, $3 students under 18 and free for ages 5 and under. 722-9828.

AUGUSTA GOLF & BOTANICAL GARDENS OF THE GEORGIA GOLF HALL OF FAME features beautiful display gardens, as well as bronze sculptures of some of golf’s greatest masters. Available for rent for a variety of functions.

Group discount rates available. Closed Mondays; open from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Tues.-Sat.; open from 1-5 p.m. on Sunday.

Admission is $5.50 for adults; $4.50 for students, seniors and military; $3.50 for children (4-12); free for children 3 and under. Sundays are two for one with a Super Sunday coupon. Annual garden memberships are available. Call 724-4443 or 1-888-874-4443. Also, visit their Web site at www.gghf.org.

NATIONAL SCIENCE CENTER’S FORT DISCOVERY: Children and adults alike can immerse themselves in the wonders of science through live demonstrations, virtual realities, Starlab, KidScape and more than 250 hands-on exhibits. General Admission: $8 for adults; $6 for children, seniors and active military. Group rates available.

Operating hours: Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sunday, noon-5 p.m. Call 821-0200, 1-800-325-5445 or visit their Web site at www.NationalScienceCenter.org.

REDCLIFFE STATE HISTORIC SITE: 1859 mansion of S.C. Governor James Henry Hammond, held by the family for three generations until 1975. Grounds and slave quarters are open Thursday-Monday, 9 a.m.-6 p.m.

House tours will be offered at 1, 2 and 3 p.m. Admission

to the grounds is free. Fee for house tours is $3 for adults and children ages 6-17. For more information, call (803) 827-1473. 181 Redcliffe Road, Beech Island.

SACRED HEART CULTURAL CENTER is offering tours of its 100-year-old building. Mon.-Fri., 9 a.m.-5 p.m. $1 per person, children free. 826-4700.

AUGUSTA VISITORS INFORMATION CENTER open Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sun. 1-5 p.m. Located inside the Augusta Museum of History. Call 724-4067.

THE EZEKIEL HARRIS HOUSE: Deemed “the finest 18th century house surviving in Georgia” by the “Smithsonian Guide to Historic America.” Open Saturday, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. General admission is $2; senior admission is $1 and children get in for 50 cents. For more information, call 724-0436.

PHINIZY SWAMP NATURE PARK: See egrets, blue herons, river otters and elusive alligators in their natural setting, just minutes from downtown Augusta. The park has observation decks, boardwalks and several nature trails suitable for hiking. Open Monday-Friday, noondusk, and Saturday and Sunday, dawn to dusk. For more information, call the Southeastern Natural Sciences Academy Office at 828-2109.

Museums THE GERTRUDE HERBERT INSTITUTE OF ART in Ware’s Folly exhibits works by local and regional artists. Art classes, workshops and other educational programming for children, youth and adults are held in the Walker-Mackenzie Studio. Open Tuesday-Friday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Saturday by appointment only.

Admission is free, but a donation of $2 for adults and $1 for children and seniors is encouraged. Call 7225495 or visit www.ghia.org for more info.

THE AUGUSTA MUSEUM OF HISTORY hosts permanent exhibition “Augusta’s Story,” an award-winning exhibit encompassing 12,000 years of local history. For the younger crowd, there’s the Susan L. Still Children’s Discovery Gallery, where kids can learn about history in a hands-on environment. The museum also shows films in the History Theatre and hosts a variety of programs. Located at 560 Reynolds Street. Open TuesdaySaturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sunday 1-5 p.m.

Admission is $4 adult, $3 seniors, $2 kids (6-18 years of age) and free for children under 6. Free admission on Sundays. Call 722-8454 or visit www.augustamuseum.org for more information.

THE MORRIS MUSEUM OF ART hosts exhibitions and special events year-round. Open Tuesday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sundays, noon-5 p.m. Closed on Mondays and major holidays. 1 Tenth Street, Augusta.

Call 724-7501 or visit www.themorris.org for details.

THE MUSEUM OF LAUREL AND HARDY OF HARLEM, GEORGIA features displays of various Laurel and Hardy memorabilia; films also shown. Located at 250 N. Louisville Street in downtown Harlem. Open 1-4 p.m.

Thursday-Monday. For more information, call 5563448.

LUNCH AT NOON LECTURE SERIES held the second Wednesday of every month at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History, 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Call the museum at 724-3576 for more information.

Special Events TAKE BACK THE NIGHT RALLY on the campus of Augusta State University April 15. Exhibits and activities begin at 6:30 p.m. on the lawn between Allgood Hall and the Science Building. A program featuring speeches and a candlelit march begins at 7:30 p.m. Students in ASU’s Sociology of Women course will be collecting donations for University Hospital’s Rape Crisis and Sexual Assault Services; needed items include children’s books, small stuffed animals, small soaps and shampoos and women’s socks and underwear. For information, contact Pamela Hayward, 729-2048, or Anne Ealick-Henry, 724-5200.

ANNUAL GRANTSEEKER SESSION of the Community Foundation for the Central Savannah River Area April 2021. Call 724-1314 or e-mail info@cfcsra.org for reservations and additional information.

SAVANNAH VALLEY ANTIQUE EXTRAVAGANZA on Main Street in McCormick, S.C., April 16-18. Advance tickets may be purchased by phone at (864) 465-3216.

GREAT DANE MEET AND GREET April 17, 3-5 p.m., at Fetch Dog Treats in Surrey Center. For more information, contact Jeff or Tonia Thomas at 737-5808 or Fetch at 262BONE.

Learning

AUGUSTA SHOWCASE, an economic development campaign to market the area to potential business residents, will soon be underway. The Augusta Metro Chamber of Commerce is giving presentations on the effort. Contact Tammy Stout, 722-8326, ext. 2, to schedule a speaker for your club or civic group.

“ROOTS OF GARDENING” SERIES presented by Georgia Golf Hall of Fame’s Botanical Gardens. The ABC’s of Planting is from 6:30-7:30 p.m. April 15. Other dates: May 20, June 17, July 15, Aug. 19, Sept. 16 and Oct. 21. For info call (706) 724-4443.

MCDUFFIE FRIENDS OF ANIMALS holds pet adoptions each Saturday, 1-3 p.m. at Superpetz on Bobby Jones Expressway. Call 556-9090 or visit www.petfinder.com.

ASU CULLUM LECTURE SERIES continues April 15 with Drs. Janice and Ray Whiting, who will speak on Erotic Art of India, and on April 20 with Dr. Michael Bishku, who will discus Modern History and the Politics of Afghaistan. 737-1709 and 667-4905.

COLUMBIA COUNTY HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. and every Sunday from 1-4 p.m. at PetsMart. For more info, call 8605020.

USC-AIKEN CONTINUING EDUCATION offers Paralegal Certificate Course, Taming the Wild Child, Conversational French, Italian, Spanish for the Beginner, Sign Language, Debt-Free Living and more. “Travelearn” learning vacations for adults and Education to Go online courses also available. For info, phone (803) 641-3563..

RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL AND AUGUSTA ANIMAL RESCUE FRIENDS hold pet adoptions at Superpetz off Bobby Jones Expressway every Sunday from 1-4 p.m. Call AARF at 364-4747 or visit www.aarf.net.

Adoptions also held at the Richmond County Animal Control Shelter, Tues.-Sun., 1-5 p.m. Call the shelter at 790-6836.

THE CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. and every Wednesday evening from 5:30-7:30 p.m. at the Pet Center located behind the GreenJackets Stadium on Milledge Rd. 261PETS.

FRED MILLS AND BULLDOG BRASS WILL PERFORM AT ASU APRIL 16.

MOLLY’S MILITIA, a pet adoption agency, meets each Saturday at Superpetz in Aiken from 11 a.m.-3 p.m., Petsmart in Aiken from 3-6:30 p.m., and PetsMart in Augusta from 4:30-7:30 p.m. For more information, call (803) 279-7003.

Ministries Outreach Center, 303 Hale St. Call 722-8195 for information.

CHARITY GOLF TOURNAMENT to benefit the Cumbee Center to Assist Abused Persons April 19. Call (803) 6490480 for more information.

DOWNTOWN LUNCH DATE each Wednesday through June 30 from noon-1:30 p.m. at the Augusta Common. Will feature lunch from a local restaurant and musical entertainment. For more information, call 821-1754.

TALENT SCHOLARSHIP SHOWCASE presented by the Augusta Alumnae Chapter of Delta Sigma Theta sorority April 18, 7 p.m., at the Maxwell Performing Arts Theatre.

Proceeds benefit scholarship recipients, public service programs and the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History. Tickets are $15 for adults and $5 for students.

Call 793-4088, 863-0625 or 792-0091 for information.

PRAYER AND PRAISE RALLY, supported by hundreds of CSRA churches, is on April 16 at 7 p.m. in the AugustaRichmond County Civic Center. Admission is free.

GRANTSEEKER SESSION to be held by the Community Foundation for the CSRA on April 20 and 21 from 10-11 a.m. at the offices of Serotta Maddocks Evans and Co. on Greene St. For more information, call 724-1314.

ANNUAL OLDE TOWN ARTISANS’ FAIR will be from April 16-18 in North Augusta’s Living History Park. On April 16 from 6-8 p.m. there will be a dinner preview. On April 17 from 10 a.m.-6 p.m. and April 18 from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. admission will be free. For more information or to acquire tickets, call (803) 279-7560.

SALVATION ARMY TO AUCTION over 120 cars, trucks and boats April 24 at the Salvation Army Administrative Office at 1384 Greene Street. Starts at 10 a.m. Pre-registration and fleet inspection will be held April 22-24 from 8 a.m.-6 p.m. Registration will be held only from 8 a.m.-10 a.m. the morning of the auction. A $5 registration fee is required to bid. For info call 826-7933.

BIRD FAIR at the Julian Smith Casino at Lake Olmstead April 17, 9-5 p.m. 736-0105. $2 admission.

Out of Town GEORGIA RENAISSANCE FESTIVAL runs April 17-June 6 from 10:30 a.m.-6 p.m. For info visit www.georgiarenaissancefestival.com.

AUGUSTA BALLET MERCEDES RAFFLE: The Augusta Ballet will raffle off a 2004 Mercedes CLK 320 Cabriolet during May’s First Friday celebration. Tickets are $100 each and may be purchased through the ballet office at 261-0555.

AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL is in need of dog and cat food, cat litter and other pet items, as well as monetary donations to help pay for vaccinations. Donations accepted during regular business hours, Tues.-Sun., 1-5 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Call 790-6836 for information.

SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER BLOOD DRIVES in various locations around the CSRA this month. For detailed information on locations and times to donate, visit www.shepeardblood.org. You may also call Susan Edwards at (803) 643-7996 for information on Aiken locations and Nancy Szocinski at 737-4551 for information on all other locations.

AMERICAN RED CROSS BLOOD DRIVES at the Aiken Red Cross Blood Center on Millbrook Drive and the Augusta Red Cross Blood Center on Pleasant Home Road.

The bloodmobile will also stop at various area locations this week. For a complete list, call the Aiken Blood Center at (803) 642-5180 or the Augusta Blood Center at 8688800.

AT THE GEORGIA MUSEUM OF ART in Athens, Ga.: “Leaving for the Country: George Bellows at Woodstock” through May 16. Visit www.uga.edu/gamuseum or call (706) 542-4662 for info.

HOPE HOUSE “VIVA LAS VEGAS” FUNDRAISER will take place May 7, 6:30-11 p.m. at the Radisson Riverfront Hotel. The evening will feature a Vegas-style casino including craps, blackjack, roulette and poker, with prizes available to purchase with winnings. All proceeds benefit Hope House, Inc. For more information, call 737-9879.

“WHO’S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF?” through April 18 at the Alliance Theatre Company’s Alliance Stage in Atlanta.

(404) 733-5000.

HUGE BAKE SALE to benefit Hope House on April 15 from 9 a.m.-4 p.m. at the MCG Children’s Hospital Main Lobby. For more information, call 737-9879.

AT THE HIGH MUSEUM OF ART in Atlanta: “Glories of Ancient Egypt” through Sept. 19 and “African Gold From the Glassell Collection” through Sept. 19. Call (404) 733HIGH or visit www.high.org for information.

17TH ANNUAL BLOCK PARTY benefits MCG Children’s Medical Center, April 17 from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. at the Augusta Exchange Club Fairgrounds at the corner of Hale Street and 5th Street. 721-9566 or dwong@mail.mcg.edu.

Benefits

2ND ANNUAL HARLEM RELAY FOR LIFE GOLF TOURNAMENT will be April 17 at Three Oaks Golf Course. Fourman teams, shotgun start at 8 a.m. For more information, contact Jerry Baldwin at 556-6262.

GREYTHOUND LOVE GREYHOUND ADOPTION partners with the CSRA Humane Society for PetWalk 2004, starting at 2 p.m. April 25 at the CSRA Humane Society, Lake Olmstead in Augusta, Ga. Rain date May 2. For info visit http://greythoundlove.org or www.csrahumanesociety.org.

GED classes are offered by the Community Resource Center. Tuition is free. Call 722-4999 for more information.

SERVICE CORPS OF RETIRED EXECUTIVES (SCORE) provides counseling and mentoring to business people either starting or continuing their business. Counseling is free and administered by retired executives. For more information, call 793-9998.

Health ANGELS HAVE WHEELS: Medicare recipients suffering from conditions such as arthritis, cardiovascular disease and respiratory disorders who have difficulty walking or propelling a standard wheelchair may be eligible to receive an electric wheelchair. For information on eligibility, call Gregory at 1-800-810-2877.

AIKEN COUNTY PONY CLUB meets weekly. Open to children of all ages who participate or are interested in equestrian sports. For more information, contact Lisa Smith at (803) 649-3399.

GIRLS INCORPORATED OF THE CSRA AFTER-SCHOOL PROGRAM runs through May 21. Open to girls currently enrolled in kindergarten through high school. In addition to offering specialized programs, Girls Incorporated offers van pick-up at select schools, neighborhood drop-off, homework room and a hot evening meal. For information, call 733-2512.

WEEKLY STORY SESSIONS at all branch libraries. Visit www.ecgrl.public.lib.ga.us for more information.

FIRST SATURDAY STORYTELLING at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum. In addition, there is a tour of the museum. Held 10 a.m.-noon the first Saturday of the month.

Call 724-3576.

STORYTIME IN THE GARDENS will take place Tuesdays at 4 p.m. in May in Hopeland Gardens. For more information, call (803) 642-7631.

TIME TO CARE FAMILY FAIR will take place April 24 from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. For info call (803) 279-1212.

FAMILY EARTH AND SKY NIGHT April 24 from 6-11 p.m. hosted by the Augusta Astronomy Club, the Dupont Planetarium and the Ruth Patrick Science Education Center. (803) 641-3313.

Seniors AARP DRIVER SAFETY PROGRAM April 19-20, 1-5 p.m., at the Gibbs Library. The class is designed for drivers age 50 and over. Call 863-1946 for details.

UNIVERSITY SENIORS CLUB has moved to a new location at 4106 Columbia Rd. University Seniors Club offers health screenings, support groups, health education classes and social activities. For more information, call 868-3231 or 1-800-413-6652.

CHRONIC PAIN SUPPORT GROUP meets the first Thursday of every month, 10:30-11:30 a.m. at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital. 823-5294.

HOME-BASED CARE available for low- to mid-income families seeking alternatives to nursing home placement. To participate, individuals must be aged 60 or up or must have disability status as defined by Social Security Administration guidelines. Applicants must also meet program income guidelines. For more information, contact the CSRA Area Agency on Aging at 210-2018 or 1-888-922-4464.

WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL AMPUTEE CLINIC for new and experienced prosthetic users meets the third Thursday of each month, 1-3 p.m. 722-1244.

WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL offers Arthritis Aquatics and People with Arthritis Can Exercise. Call 823-5294 for information.

WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL offers a number of health programs, including Fibromyalgia Aquatics, Water Aerobics, Wheelchair and Equipment Clinics, Therapeutic Massage, Yoga, Acupuncture, Children’s Medical Services Clinic, Special Needs Safety Seat Loaner Program., Focus on Healing exercise class for breast cancer survivors and more. Call 823-5294 for information.

SENIOR VOLUNTEERS NEEDED for the new visitor center at Phinizy Swamp Nature Center to greet visitors, hand out literature and sell merchandise. Volunteers are asked to commit one Saturday or Sunday per month, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. or 1-5 p.m. Call 828-2109 for information.

AUGUSTA BRAIN INJURY SUPPORT GROUP meets the second Thursday of every month, 6 p.m., at Walton West TLC. Brain injury survivors and their family members and caregivers are invited to attend. 737-9300.

DIET COUNSELING CLASSES for diabetics and those with high cholesterol at CSRA Partners in Health, 1220 Augusta West Parkway. Free. Call 860-3001 for class schedule.

UNIVERSITY HEALTH CARE SYSTEM COMMUNITY EDUCATION holds workshops, seminars and classes on a variety of topics: Weight and nutrition, women’s health, cancer, diabetes, seniors’ health and more.

Support groups and health screenings are also offered.

Call 736-0847 for details.

Kids “HANSEL AND GRETEL” will be performed by Storyland Theatre through April 16 at 9:30 a.m., 10:45 a.m. and 12:15 p.m. Tickets are $3.50 per student, and reservations are required. The show will also be presented April 17, 3 p.m., as a family matinee; tickets for that performance are $4 per person, and reservations are not required. 736-3455.

“DISNEY ON ICE PRINCESS CLASSICS” comes to Augusta-Richmond County Civic Center April 22-25.

Tickets are $12-$30. For tickets, visit www.disneyonice.com or call 828-7700.

AIKEN PARKS AND RECREATION offers a multitude of programs for senior adults, including bridge clubs, fitness classes, canasta clubs, line dancing, racquetball, arts and crafts, tennis and excursions. For more information, call (803) 642-7631.

THE ACADEMY FOR LIFELONG LEARNING offers lectures, courses, field trips, discussion groups and community information seminars on a variety of topics to mature adults. For more information, contact the USCAiken Office of Continuing Education at (803) 641-3288.

THE SENIOR CITIZENS COUNCIL OF GREATER AUGUSTA AND THE CSRA offers a variety of classes, including ballroom dance, aerobics, quilting, tai chi, Spanish, line dancing, bowling, bridge, computers, drama club/readers theatre and pinochle. For dates and times, phone 826-4480.

SENIORNET provides adults age 50 and over education for and access to computer technology. Many different courses are offered. Contact the USC-Aiken Continuing Education Office at (803) 641-3563.

SENIOR VOLUNTEERS NEEDED for new Docent Training Program at the historic home of Nicholas Ware. Learn the fascinating history of Ware’s Folly and the families who lived there. All interested should call 722-5495.

27

WALK-A-THON to benefit Augusta Urban Ministries April 17, 8 a.m. The walk begins and ends at Augusta Urban

PROJECT PAWS will host a series of pet fairs at the following locations: April 15 at Augusta-Richmond County Animal Control from 3-7 p.m., April 21 at the Bobby Jones Wal-Mart from 3-7 p.m., April 22 at Deans Bridge Wal-Mart 3-7 p.m. (706) 828-7211 or mcanady@wjbf.com.

AIKEN TECH CONTINUING EDUCATION offers the following courses: computer technology courses, healthcare courses, contractor programs, real estate courses and more. Aiken Tech also offers Education to Go classes online. For more information or to register, call (803) 593-9231, ext. 1230.

FAMILY FUN DAY at the Augusta Museum of History April 18, 1-5 p.m. Jim Hazelton and David Fields host a program on hot air balloons. 722-8454.

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 15, 2004

DERBY DAY to benefit the Augusta Training Shop for the Handicapped May 1, 3-7 p.m., at the Augusta Riding Center, 1403 Flowing Wells Rd. Event includes Southern cuisine, contests, live music and two big-screen TVs showing the Kentucky Derby. Advance tickets are $35 and are available at all Georgia Bank and Trust locations.

For information, contact Sandra Gurley at 724-2601 or Audrey Murell at 738-1358.

MARCH OF DIMES COLUMBIA RICHMOND WALKAMERICA 2004 to be held April 24 at GreenJacket Stadum. Registration begins at 8 a.m. For information, call (706) 733-8438.

AUGUSTA STATE UNIVERSITY CONTINUING EDUCATION is now offering the following classes: Shag, Ballroom, Line Dance, Beginning and Intermediate Language courses, Interior Design, Acting Workshop, Stained Glass, SAT Review, Power Yoga, Photography, Origami and more. Also, ASU offers online courses. For more information, call 737-1636 or visit www.ced.aug.edu.

“GINGERBREAD MAN” will be presented April 22 at 9, 10 and 11 a.m., by the ASU Born to Read Literacy Center and Patchwork Players. Held at the Maxwell Performing Arts Theatre. Tickets are $3. Call 733-7043 for reservations.

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Augusta’s Real Rock Thursday, April 15th at The Boathouse (at the Riverfront Marina)

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METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 15, 2004

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Tuesday, 6-8 p.m., Friday, 6-8 p.m. and Saturday, 2-5 p.m. at the Fleming Center. 796-5046.

ty for same-sex couples and other issues.

(803) 663-9375 or visit www.CSRARainbowAlliance.org.

VOLLEYBALL OPEN GYM will be held Wednesday nights in April in the H.O. Weeks Center from 7-9:15 p.m. For more information, call (803) 642-7631.

PHINIZY SWAMP NATURE PARK VISITOR CENTER is in need of volunteers to greet visitors, hand out literature and sell merchandise. Volunteers must commit to one Saturday or Sunday each month, from either 9 a.m.-1 p.m. or 1-5 p.m. 828-2109.

HARLEM AREA AGLOW’s monthly meeting April 17. For info, call (706) 556-1453.

AUGUSTA FLYERS TRACK CLUB invites area youth ages 7-18 to join the team. Registration is through May 15. For more information, contact George Taylor at 738-3737.

VOLLEYBALL CLASSES FOR KIDS take place on Mondays through April 19 from 6-7:30 p.m. at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. Call (803) 642-7631 for more information.

AUGUSTA GREENJACKETS have games continuing on consecutive nights at home through April 18. For game times or other information, call 736-7889.

11TH ANNUAL SPA MASTERS 50+ SLOW PITCH TOURNAMENT April 16-18 at the Diamond Lakes Regional Park. 771-2980.

SOUTHERN SENIOR HARD COURT OPEN TENNIS CHAMPIONSHIP April 16-19 at Newman Tennis Center.

821-1600.

USSSA BASEBALL TOURNAMENT April 17 at Diamond Lakes Regional Park. 771-2980.

TOUR DE GEORGIA April 20-25 at Augusta Common.

821-1754.

Volunteer YOU CAN SEE ALL KINDS OF AFRICAN ARTIFACTS, LIKE THIS EGYPTIAN SARCOPHAGUS, AT THE HIGH MUSEUM IN ATLANTA. 7TH ANNUAL SENIOR HEALTH & FITNESS DAY April 15 at the Henry H. Brigham Senior Center and the Recreation Center at 2463 Golden Camp Road.

Registration begins at 8:30 a.m. for info, call 772-5455 or 790-4440, ext. 117.

Sports FAMILY Y RECREATIONAL GYMNASTICS session held through May 14. Classes available for toddlers through teens. Call 738-6678.

THE COURT APPOINTED SPECIAL ADVOCATE PROGRAM OF CHILD ENRICHMENT is looking for volunteers 21 and older to advocate for abused and neglected children in the juvenile court system. Through April 20. (706) 737-4631.

FORTE INTERNATIONAL EXCHANGE ASSOCIATION is in need of local host families for high school international exchange students for the 2004-2005 school year. For more information, contact Tracy Klemens, (678) 358-5890.

THE EARNED INCOME TAX CREDIT COALITION is looking for volunteers with basic computer skills to prepare tax returns for individuals with low and limited income, individuals with disabilities, non-English speaking persons and elderly taxpayers. Volunteers receive free training and instruction materials from the IRS and will serve at VITA sites throughout the community. For more information, contact Sheryl Silva, 826-4480, ext. 341.

THE AUGUSTA VOLLEYBALL ASSOCIATION is looking for new members. For more information, visit www.augustavolleyball.com.

AUGUSTA/CSRA HABITAT FOR HUMANITY needs volunteers at ReStore, Walton Way and Tenth Street, to assist with receiving donations of new and used building and home improvement materials and warehousing them for sale to the public. The store is open ThursdaySaturday year-round. If you can commit eight or more hours per month, contact Steve Buck, 364-7637.

THE AUGUSTA RUGBY CLUB is always looking for new members. Teams are available for women and men; no experience necessary. Practice is Tuesday and Thursday nights, 7-9 p.m. at Richmond Academy. For more information, call Don Zuehlke, 495-2043, or

MENTORS AND VOLUNTEERS needed to provide support for MACH Academy at the May Park Community Center and the Fleming Tennis Center. Education, tutoring and technology sessions held Monday-Thursday, 3-6 p.m. at each location. Tennis instruction and fitness activities held Monday-Thursday, 6-7 p.m. at May Park and Monday-

T A N N I N G

S A L O N

UNITED HOSPICE OF AUGUSTA is in need of volunteers to support terminally ill patients. Scheduling and training times are flexible. Call Donna Harrell at 650-1522 for information.

THE ARTISTS’ CONSERVATORY THEATRE OF THE CSRA is looking for volunteer board members, actors and production crew. Call 556-9134 or e-mail act@theatermail.net.

SOUTHERNCARE HOSPICE SERVICE is currently seeking volunteers to perform a variety of tasks, including relieving caregivers, reading to patients and running errands.

Training is included. For additional information, contact Lisa Simpson, (803) 463-9888 or 869-0205.

COURT APPOINTED SPECIAL ADVOCATE PROGRAM VOLUNTEER TRAINING: The CASA program is looking for volunteers 21 years of age and older to advocate for abused and neglected children in the juvenile court system.

Volunteers need no experience and will be provided with specialized training. Call 737-4631.

CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY NEW VOLUNTEER ORIENTATION PROGRAM the third Saturday of every month at the Pet Center, 425 Wood St. Orientation starts at 11 a.m.

Volunteers under 18 years of age must have a parent or guardian present during orientation and while volunteering.

Call 261-PETS for information.

AUGUSTA AREA NEWCOMERS CLUB will hold the April luncheon/meeting at the Gordon Club at Fort Gordon, April 15. Reservations required. (706) 650-1400.

AUGUSTA GEM AND MINERAL SOCIETY meets every third Friday at 7:30 in the Georgia Military College Building on Davis Rd. For more information, call 547-0178.

JOHN BIRCH SOCIETY OF AUGUSTA civic advocacy meeting every third Saturday from 10 a.m.-12 noon at Friedman Branch Library. For more information, contact Tonio at 373-3772.

Weekly OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS meets every Sunday night, 7:30 p.m., at Holy Trinity Lutheran Church in North Augusta. For more information, call 278-5156.

NAR-ANON FAMILY GROUP for relatives and friends of drug abusers. No dues or fees. The group meets Mondays at 7 p.m. Call for location. For information, contact Josie, 414-5576, or Lionel, 860-0302.

GAMBLERS ANONYMOUS meets Thursdays, 7:30 p.m., in the basement of Fairview Presbyterian Church.

1-800-313-0170.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: For more information and a meeting schedule, call 860-8331.

THE KITTY ORTIZ DE LEON FOUNDATION needs volunteers to help promote organ donor awareness. For more information, contact Cassandra Reed or Espy De Leon at 394-0838 or kodfoundation@aol.com.

GOLDEN HARVEST FOOD BANK needs volunteers during the day, from 8:30 a.m.-4 p.m. Monday-Friday, to help sort donated products and assist in their agency shopping area.

Help is needed year-round. If you are able to lift 25 pounds, can commit to at least 3-4 hours per month and would like to help fight hunger in the Augusta area, contact Laurie Roper at 736-1199, ext. 208.

AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL: New volunteer orientation is scheduled the first Saturday of each month at 1 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Schedule subject to change; call 790-6836 to verify dates and times.

SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER is seeking donors to prevent a blood supply shortage. To donate call 737-4551, 854-1880 or (803) 643-7996.

RICHMOND COUNTY DEPARTMENT OF FAMILY AND CHILDREN SERVICES is seeking dependable foster parents to provide temporary housing, care and support for Georgia’s children. For more information, contact L. Lewis at 721-3718.

Meetings THE CSRA RAINBOW ALLIANCE and the Metropolitan Community Church of Our Redeemer will host a town hall meeting April 15 to learn about the marriage equali-

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS: If you want to stop using any drugs, there is a way out. Help is available at no cost. Call the Narcotics Anonymous help line for information and meeting schedules at 855-2419.

SEXAHOLICS ANONYMOUS, a 12-step program of recovery from addiction to obsessive/compulsive sexual thoughts and behaviors, meets Wednesdays at 8 p.m. at Christ Church Unity, 2301 Central Ave. Call 339-1204 and leave first name and phone number; a confidential reply is assured.

AUGUSTA TOASTMASTERS CLUB #326 meets each Thursday at 7:30 p.m. at Advent Lutheran Church in Martinez. Learn communication and leadership skills.

For more information, call 868-8431.

GUIDELINES: Public service announcements are listed in this section without charge at the discretion of the editor. Announcements must be received by Monday at noon and will be included as space permits. Send to Events, Metro Spirit, P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914 or fax (706) 733-6663. You may also e-mail listings to rhonda.jones@metrospirit.com or lisa.jordan@metrospirit.com. Listings cannot be taken over the phone.

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29

Bomb Epic

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Boring

Comedy Sleeper Oscar Pick Director Stars This Rocks Famous Silly

Awesome

Action lonely, and lacking in social niceties." Cast: Alber t Finney, Ewan McGregor, Billy Crudup, Jessica Lange, Helena Bonham Car ter, Steve Buscemi. Running time: 1 hr., 50 mins. (Elliot) !!1/2 Brother Bear (G) — Latest Disney animated of fering about a young man, Kenai, who is transformed by The Great Spirits into a bear. On a quest to gain back his human form, Kenai befriends a bear cub, Koda, and evades his human brother, who, not realizing Kenai has been turned into a bear, is on Kenai’s trail on a revenge mission. Cast: Jeremy Suarez, Joaquin Phoenix, Rick Moranis, Dave Thomas.

The Butterfly Effect (R) — As Evan Treborn, Ashton Kutcher is a floppy fishie with a hook in his mouth, and that hook is the script. Seems that Evan's dad is a deranged psycho with a "most unusual" brain disorder who, during the boy's visit to the ward, tries to throt tle and kill him. As Evan grows up, there are other lurid milestones. Evan has a break through: Reading his old diaries, the pages quiver and this lets him mentally travel back to a past he can now change. In the middle, gulping like a caught bass, is Kutcher, aching with sincerit y and technique you could call inadequate except that no technique would be adequate. The poor guy is caught, stuf fed and mounted. Cast: Ashton Kutcher, Amy Smar t, Elden Henson, Kevin Schmidt, Eric Stoltz, William Lee Scot t. Running time: 1 hr., 53 mins.

(Elliot t) !

Cheaper by the Dozen (PG) —

30

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 15, 2004

isher” Pun he “T

To make an old (1950) Clif ton Webb comedy without Clif ton Webb is a serious loss, but get ting Steve Mar tin — a vanilla-shaked version of Webb's snappish fussiness — is not a bad idea for "Cheaper by the Dozen." He's engaging as Tom Baker, football coach and father of 12 kids. Bonnie Hunt plays the wife and mom, Kate, looking aw fully good despite the wear. The Bakers have a great life in a small town where Tom coaches, but he's hired to go to a bigger team outside Chicago, and the only stor y is the stress on the family from their move.

The film is simple and obvious and plastic, but diver ting. Designed to be fluf f, it's fluf fy all the time. Cast: Steve Mar tin, Bonnie Hunt, Piper Perabo, Hilar y Duf f, Richard Jenkins.

Running time: 1 hr., 34 mins. (Elliot t)!! t en nm i a t ter En n a tis Ar

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (PG) — Another Disney

dinky, turning the dreams of girls into piffle. Lindsay Lohan

RATINGS !!!! — Excellent

d

the battle of the Alamo but won the war and history.

The new movie version, "The Alamo," tries to scrape off some of the familiar legend but inevitably reinforces it. And why not? Inevitably, the dramatic focus goes to the early Texans: Dennis Quaid as a rude, hard-drinking Gen. Sam Houston; Patrick Wilson as young Lt. Col. William Travis, a reed who became an oak; Jason Patric as Jim Bowie of big knife fame, dying of consumption. Above all, dominating and entertaining, is Billy Bob Thornton, using his great rube's face and corncob charm as Davy Crockett. The frontier humor and bravado are in place, though the moving, violent climax inevitably lacks surprise. "The Alamo" has some rugged power and is good enough to make us remember the Alamo. Cast: Billy Bob Thornton, Dennis Quaid, Jason Patric, Emilio Echevarria, Jordi Molla, Patrick Wilson. Running time: 1 hr., 16 mins. (Elliott) !!!

Big Fish (PG-13) — The center of this film is stolid William Bloom (Billy Crudup). Near the end of his father's long life, Bill is still peeved with the old boy for telling so many tall stories, for endlessly embroidering the truth with his drawlin' Dixie whoppers. Beneficiaries of his motorized mouth include wife Sandy (Jessica Lange). And Jenny, the woman who wanted him, a pinin' lady of the pines (Helena Bonham Car ter). The movie isn't deep or risk y enough to earn the catch in the throat it finally asks for. But it has the appeal of good times remembered, and cute, crank y lines like, "Most things considered wicked are simply

l rsa ive n U

”

The Alamo (PG-13) — Texans lost

Funny

Not Bad

rla a C

Drama

Masterpiece

“Co n n ie a n

Lame

pitches her pretty charm like mad as "drama queen" Lola, who leaves New York for New Jersey (looks like a section of Burbank), wins a worshipful friend, dazzles a boy, squelches a snarky rival, stars in a "rock" version of Pygmalion full of "American Idol" razzle. Wasted rather depressingly are Carol Kane, Glenne Headly and other talents, treated as confetti at Lohan's feet. Cast: Lindsay Lohan, Carol Kane, Glenne Headly. Running time: 1 hr., 34 mins. (Elliott) !

Connie and Carla (PG-13) —

Two struggling dinner theatre actresses witness a mafia hit and flee Chicago to hide out in L.A., where they transform themselves into drag queens.

Unexpectedly, though, their show becomes a hit, and living the lie becomes increasingly difficult. Cast: Nia Vardalos, Toni Collette, David Duchovny, Stephen Spinella, Dash Minok.

Dawn of the Dead (R) — Thanks to a plague, the United States is taken over by zombies. It pretty much follows the rules found in the “Zombie Codebook”: If killed by a zombie, one must return as one. Once turned into a zombie, one must seek fresh blood. One must also go to the mall. (To the mall?) The good guys, for some reason, think that the mall is a pretty neat place to be too. Needless to say, forces collide, with the good guys deciding to make a run for it to a (supposedly) safe island. But first, they have to get through a sea of the undead. Based upon the 1979 movie “Dawn of the Dead.” Cast: Sarah Polley, Ving Rhames, Mekhi Phifer, Michael Barry, Linday Booth, Ty Burrell, Jayne Eastwood, Michael Kellym, Jake Weber, Kevin Zegers, Tom Savini.

Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights (PG-13) — The first "Dirty

Dancing" was engaging kitsch, a spritzy sensation of 1987. Now, we get Britain's Romola Garai as Katey,

!!!— Worthy

!! — Mixed

! — Poor

whose American businessman father moves the family to Havana in late 1958.

Katey looks right through the snob Yank who woos her, and settles her virginal eyes on hotel busboy Javier (Diego Luna). He is into hot dancing, which means variants of body rubbing under a lava flow of Cuban music. When Garai delivered some simpy lines in a love scene, cackling broke out at the press preview. Those laughs should be aimed at director Guy Ferland and the script. Cast: Romola Garai, Diego Luna, Patrick Swayze, Sela Ward, Mika Boorem. Running time: 1 hr., 36 mins. (Elliott) !!

Ella Enchanted (PG) — Is Anne Hathaway the prettiest girl in movies? No, Hathaway (she's 21) is the prettiest woman in movies. Her beauty and charming personality give some light weight to "Ella," in which Ella is really Cinderella. Ella is under a spell that makers her obey all orders — will someone please order Hathaway to stay pretty in better movies?

Cast: Anne Hathaway, Hugh Dancy, Cary Elwes, Minie Driver, Vivica A. Fox, Eric Idle and Ohanna Lumley.

Running time: 1 hr., 34 mins. (Elliott) !!

The Girl Next Door (R) — This comedy begins implausibly. Matthew (Emile Hirsch) is the shy, smart president of his senior class, even though only some other nerds seem to like him. It gets more implausible, as Matt voyeurizes the fabulous new blonde neighbor, Danielle (Elisha Cuthbert), who then forces him to strip for her outdoors, and they begin to forge a sexy mutual regard. In rapid plot time, Matt and his co-nerds (amusing Chris Marquette and Paul Dano) are concocting a porn film to pay his way to Georgetown U., one that will slyly subvert the senior prom. What, really, is this thing? One of the tawdriest silly jokers of the year, or one of the few mainstream comedies to have a pinch of audacity. In fact it is both, mixed implausibly but somewhat entertainingly. Cast:

0— Not worthy

Johnson Family Vacation (PG-13) — Comedy is long: laughter is short.

Scarcely directed, the movie is vacant of style and aggressively lame. You might pine for the old “National Lampoon” road comedies. Why do a black version of those formula pictures that is softer, cornier, more vanilla at the core? Coming so soon after the dismal (but more amusing) "Never Die Alone," this marks a bad season for black cinema. But "Johnson Family Vacation" has nothing to do with cinema, and nothing of value to do with black. Cast: Cedric the Entertainer, Bow Wow, Vanessa Williams, Shannon Elizabeth, Solange Knowles. Running time: 1 hr., 35 mins. (Elliott) !

Kill Bill: Volume 2 (R) — The Bride is back, resuming her quest for revenge. With two of her enemies down, there are two more to go before the ultimate showdown with Bill. Cast: Uma Thurman, David Carradine, Sonny Chiba, Vivica A. Fox, Daryl Hannah, Samuel L. Jackson, Lucy Liu. The Ladykillers (R) — Tom Hanks is Goldthwait Higginson Dorr, Ph.D., a giggling Dixie pedant. The home of Bible-loving widow Marva Munson (Irma P. Hall) is conveniently close to the money stash

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (PG-13) —

lasts 200 minutes, and some of those are long minutes. The last 20 can feel like an hour, for clearly creator Peter Jackson didn't wish to let his saga go.

Bernard Hill, Viggo Mor tensen and Orlando Bloom are impressive fighters, and Cate Blanchet t makes a gorgeous Galadriel. This is posing, not acting. Sir Ian McKellen acts ver y well as noble Gandalf, but lines about hear t, courage and fate make him Lord For tune Cookie. "Lord" is all epic, all the time. Jackson loves bat tles, which means hurling dense masses of mostly computerized fighters at one another. If the clima x bat tle this time is more overpowering than the Helm's Deep boggler in "Two Towers," does it truly deepen the stor y? Maybe it is just more spectacle, as clima xes are stacked high and then the epic winds down with Elijah Woods as Frodo (now mildly matured) exiting sweetly, his destiny done. Cast: Ian McKellen, Elijah Wood, Cate Blanchet t, Viggo Mor tensen, Ian Holm, Orlando Bloom, Sean Astin. Running time: 3 hrs., 20 mins. !!

The Missing (R) — Cate Blanchet t is again superb, as a flint y frontier mom who rides hard across 1870s New Mexico, chasing a mostly Apache band that took her daughter, slowly making up with her long absent and "gone Injun" father (Tommy Lee Jones). Ron Howard directed with a true eye for detail and landscape. Eric Schweig is an alarmingly vicious sorcerer. The brutalit y is frequent and not for tender viewers. Cast: Cate Blanchet t, Tommy Lee Jones, Eric Schweig. Running time: 2 hrs., 10 mins. (Elliot t) !!!

My Baby’s Daddy (PG-13) —

A trio of par t ying bachelors from the ‘hood must curb their wild ways when they discover all three of their girlfriends are pregnant at the same time. Cast: Eddie Grif fin, Anthony Anderson, Method Man, Bai Ling, Paula Jai Parker.

Mystic River (R) — Clint East wood (directing) and writer Brian Helgeland heap loads of emotional freight on a slow, solemn barge of plot. Its core is a police case (Kevin Bacon, Laurence Fishburne fine as the detectives) about a murder haunted by a past crime. Sean Penn does furious brooding and manly weeping as a dead girl's father, Tim Robbins is a haunted wreck as an abuse victim, Laura Linney and Marcia Gay Harden are sidelined.

From its por tentous title to its Boston Irish pride

The Passion of the Christ (R) — Mel Gibson's risky, passionate treatment of Christ's

last 12 hours, long on fear and gore and agony, devils (even Satan), sadistic and/or guilty Romans, hatefully smug Jewish priests and, above all, the tormented face of Jim Caviezel as Jesus. Gibson uses heavy, hackneyed devices and naive tactics; he thinks a few brief flashbacks to benign gospel episodes can offset and illuminate the relentless flood of anguish and bloodshed, and he comes close to making this a rite of faithbased sadism. It is up to believers to decide if Gibson's Jesus is their own, but since no actor can truly act the Son of God spiritually, Caviezel becomes a sacrificial offering. Cast: Jim Caviezel. Running time: 2 hrs. 7 mins. (Elliott) !!

The Prince and Me (PG) — It's about a fairy tale romance between Denmark's Prince Edvard (Luke Mably) and an American farm girl turned workaholic U. of Wisconsin student, Paige (Julia Stiles).

The plot twist is that Paige doesn't know that "Eddie" is a prince, who has gone undercover as an exchange student. They have a quick, coy courtship, with fun on campus and Ed visiting her farm home, where he learns to milk a cow. Of course, photo pests arrive, and duty calls Edvard back to Copenhagen, and Paige follows. We also get James Fox as the old king, wanly noble and happy about Denmark getting a commoner queen (the old queen, Miranda Richardson, has doubts).

Cast: Julia Stiles, Luke Mably, James Fox, Miranda Richardson. Running time: 1 hr., 41 mins. (Elliott) !!

The Punisher (R) — Frank Castle is a former Delta Force member and FBI special agent whose family is killed by the family of a young man inadvertently killed in one of Castle’s undercover missions. Castle vows to get revenge. Cast: Thomas Jane, John Travolta, Laura Elena Harring, Samantha Mathis, Will Patton, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, Rob Schneider.

Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (PG) — Scooby and the

Greer, Andy Serkis, Kathy Baker.

Walking Tall (PG-13) — is "dedicat-

ed to the memory of Sheriff Buford Pusser," the hero subject of 1973's "Walking Tall." Now there is Chris Vaughn, former Special Forces rock played by the Rock (Dwayne Douglas Johnson). The Washington state town to which veteran Chris returns has a new and gaudy casino not far from the sadly closed lumber mill. The casino king and town master is blond and blocky, played like a Northwest Nazi by Neal McDonough. His goons also sell drugs, and after Chris' nephew tries some bad stuff, Chris goes on a bashing rampage.

Soon, he is elected sheriff. Chris fondly remembers "the smell of fresh cedar" at the mill, and it is a grand slab of cut cedar he uses to slam heads, backs, legs and guts. The real love is that of the audience for Chris' indignant rages, his glorious and glowering ability to inflict mayhem while also trashing property. Cast: The Rock, Johnny Knoxville, Neal McDonough. Running time: 1 hr., 35 mins. (Elliott)

The Whole 10 Yards (PG-13) — There are movies that could benefit from Three Stooges sound effects. This is one. Are there laughs?

Sections of the preview audience thought so. Mostly, there are fewer laughs (rooted in characters) than yucks (rooted in gags). These do not rely on wit. They spur an old sitcom laugh track taped inside your head from too many lazily filled hours. Cast: Bruce Willis, Natasha Henstridge, Amanda Peet, Matthew Perry, Kevin Pollak, Frank Collison. Running time: 1 hr., 31 mins. !!

You Got Served (PG-13) —

Elgin and David are best friends who are serious about their hobby: urban street dancing. When another town’s top group challenges them to a dancing competition, the boys must create new, cut ting-edge moves to stay in the game. Cast: Marques Houston, Omari Grandberr y, Jennifer Freeman, Jarrell Houston, Dreux Frederic. —Capsules compiled from movie reviews

writ ten by David Elliot t, film critic for The San Diego UnionTribune and other staf f writers.

gang are back for another adventure. This time, they’re on the trail of an anonymous masked villain who’s wreaking havoc on Coolsville with a machine that spits out monsters. All signs point to Old Man Wickles... Cast: Freddie Prinze Jr., Sarah Michelle Gellar, Linda Cardellini, Peter Boyle, Alicia Silverstone, Seth Green, Matthew Lillard.

Touchstone Pictures

Another movie based on a ride at Disneyland, again featuring cheesy, stor y-altering references to the rides, as well as plots about ghosts and curses. Eddie Murphy is a workaholic real estate agent and a smooth-talking sleazebag. A promising real-estate deal turns out to be more than he bargains for, and his eagerness to scope out a house on the way to a family vacation leaves his entire family stranded at a creepy, cobweb-ridden Louisiana mansion with a curse. The result is a movie that, while consistently amusing, plays like a hackneyed ef for t to stretch a few minutes of ride into a coherent, hour-and-a-half stor y. Cast: Eddie Murphy. Running time: 1 hr., 39 mins. (Fu) !!

Hellboy (PG-13) — It was made by Guillermo del Toro, fan of Mike Mignola's Dark Horse comic book "Hellboy." Ron Perlman gets a big ticket to franchise status as Hellboy. He's a devil child born from a Nazi attempt (with Rasputin) to open the entrails of hell, yet raised by kindly scientist Prof. Bruttenholm (John Hurt), longing for sexy depressive Liz (Selma Blair), amused by Jimmy Olsen-like FBI nerd Myers (Rupert Evans). Hellboy is huge; he's red. It's a movie for people (the guy kind) who can't stop turning the pages of comic books, who want life to be serialized.

Cast: Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, John Hurt, Jeffrey Tambor. Running time: 1 hr., 55 mins. (Elliott) !!

Home on the Range (PG) — Life at an idyllic dairy farm is disrupted first when a snooty cow comes to live there and secondly when the bank threatens foreclosure on the property. A group of animals vows to save the farm. Cast: Randy Quaid, Judi Dench, Roseanne Barr, Jennifer Tilly, Cuba Gooding.

Jersey Girl (PG-13) — He is PR wizard Ollie Trinke (Ben Affleck); she is darlin' Gertie (Raquel Castro). Jennifer Lopez appears as the mom, who dies giving birth before Lopez can birth much performance. Ollie has already blown his big talent agency job in the Big Apple, settling sourly for the prune pit of a town in New Jersey. He moves into the Jersey home of slobby dad, Bart (George Carlin). Liv Tyler is Maya, a grad student and video store clerk. She's real, funny, charming and imperatively sexy. Tyler and Affleck are cute as puppies, but is that enough? Director Kevin Smith, reaching into his most tender feelings, comes up with hairballs of hokum. Cast: Ben Affleck, George Carlin, Liv Tyler, Jennifer Lopez, Raquel Castro, Jason Biggs, Matt Damon, Mike Starr. Running time: 1 hr., 43 mins. !!

parade, the film aches for greatness and achieves High TV drama; the case wrap-up is rushed and fishy.

Running time: 2 hrs., 20 mins. (Elliot t) !!

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (R) — It’s a remake

of the original film and based loosely on true events that inspired that film and “The Silence of the Lambs.”

A group of friends becomes isolated in the midst of a clan of cannibals. Cast: Jessica Biel, Jonathan Tucker, Eric Balfour, Erica Leerhsen.

13 Going on 30 (PG-13) — A 13-year-old

he T “

The Haunted Mansion (PG) —

of a riverboat casino. Her root cellar houses not only the Dorr gang's spurious sessions as "Renaissance" musicians, but their tunneling scheme. The Coen brothers, directors and writers, pile on enough gospel music (real steeple splitters) to rival the white-roots soundtrack of "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" Since the Coens are almost entirely about something beyond taste, you might as well take the party as it comes, and be amused. Cast: Tom Hanks, Irma P. Hall, Marlon Wayans, J.K. Simmons, Ryan Hurst, Tzi Ma. Running time: 1 hr., 43 mins. (Elliott) !!!

The Last Samurai (R) — Tom Cruise stars as Nathan Algren, a heroic Civil War veteran and then embit tered cavalr y man, reduced to heavy drinking and shilling for a gun company. Algren goes to Japan, paid to train the new imperial army in modern ways and weapons. But he finds himself drawn to the insurgent cause and almost idyllic life in the hills of samurai leader Katsumoto (Watanabe), who fights for the old ways and hopes to win over the adolescent emperor from greedy modernists. Having come to teach, Algren stays to learn. He is captured af ter impressing Katsumoto with his fighting spirit: The "barbarian" has a tiger within. "The Last Samurai" bides its time, has a predictable plot, but gives pleasure of a sustained kind. Cast: Tom Cruise, Ken Watanabe, Tony Goldwyn, Timothy Spall, Koyuki.

Running time: 2 hrs., 24 mins. (Elliot t) !!!

mo” a l A

Emile Hirsch, Elisha Cuthbert, Nicholas Downs, Timothy Olyphant, James Remar, Chris Marquette. Running time: 1 hr., 34 mins. (Elliott) !!

girl desperate to grow up makes a wish to be an adult when her 13th birthday party is a social disaster.

In this, the female version of “Big,” she suddenly finds herself 30 years old and a big success. Cast: Jennifer Garner, Mark Ruffalo, Judy

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“Kill Bill: Volume 2” Expands Beyond Unnecessary Gore

By: Rachel Deahl

I

n the opening scene of “Kill Bill: Volume 2,” Uma Thurman’s The Bride is driving in a convertible, speaking to the audience, catching them up on the events that transpired in the first installment of Quentin Tarantino’s two-part series, “Kill Bill: Volume 1.” Thurman, looking more like a movie star than a triumphant samurai, speaks about her escapades in “Volume 1” in a glib, postmodern way (she refers to them with adjectives critics heaped on the film: “Some called it unnecessarily violent…”) — seemingly as Uma Thurman the actress and not The Bride.

This sly, playful opening sets the perfect tone for Tarantino’s second “Bill,” a film that is intelligent, self-conscious, beautiful, amusing and witty. Although the film falters and drags in its second half, “Kill Bill: Volume 2” shows just how good Quentin Tarantino can be as a writer/director, offering up dialogue, imagery and ruefully violent humor on par with his masterpiece, “Pulp Fiction.”

Where “Volume 1” charted the beginning of The Bride’s revenge spree, “Volume 2” depicts its culmination. Not only does “Volume 2” show the final leg of The Bride’s quest to kill Bill, it also fills in the gaps left by the first film. Heavy on fight sequences and cartoonish gore, “Volume 1” had little in the way of plot exposition and even less in the way of character development.

What we did know was that The Bride was a former member of an elite group of assassins and Bill was her boss. For reasons unknown, Bill gunned down The Bride on her wedding day, killing everyone in her tiny El Paso church and leaving her (many months pregnant) with a bullet in the head. After waking from her coma, The Bride set out to kill her former associates and whack the crown jewel on her list, Bill himself.

Like “Pulp Fiction,” “Volume 2” shows some of the brilliant comedy and virtuosic violence Tarantino is so gifted at creating on screen. In “Volume 1” the director seemed insistent on simply paying homage as a fan — the film was full of nods to Asian culture (everything from Kung Fu films to anime to Asian pop music). Although the second “Bill” shows some of the same (most wonderfully in a hilarious sequence in which The Bride learns to fight from an ancient Kung Fu master), the characters feel more like they belong to Tarantino. Bill, The Bride, Budd (Michael Madsen) and Elle Driver (Darryl Hannah) come more alive here (we even learn The Bride’s real name) than in the first film. The result is that the varied and oft-gory ends most of these characters meet become more memorable and, to some extent, meaningful.

Tarantino also seems more intent on letting the violence take a backseat to the story. In the second scene of the film, the events that led up to the massacre in that El Paso church are played out. The buildup, shot in grainy black and white, is far from a quick, bloody shoot ‘em up.

Instead Tarantino shows a long, drawnout, overly civilized conversation between The Bride and her former lover, Bill. Finally, when the assassins arrive to clean house, Tarantino gently pulls his camera up and away from the scene of the crime — he lets the audience hear the terrible deed that set the story in motion.

In some ways, each part of Tarantino’s “Bill” duet has a little too much of one thing. “Volume 1” seemed like one long, wonderfully choreographed fight scene. It was skillfully made, but it felt slight. In “Kill Bill: Volume 2,” Tarantino adds significantly more meat to his story and, even though his film gets bogged down in self-reflexive repartee, “Volume 2” is still a thrilling work of celluloid.

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“The Girl Next Door” — An Audacious Mainstream Comedy

By David Elliott

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babes imported from the lavish harem of Hugo Posh (James Remar, a chip off Burt Reynolds in “Boogie Nights”), and Danielle becomes a sort of hostess and overseer, having been wowed by Matt’s declaration of love under the influence of drugs.

A considerable boost to amusement comes with her, uh — man? Pimp?

This is Timothy Olyphant, charging his every instant with a rakish devildude humor that bears some valid comparison with Jack Nicholson’s story-lifting sass in “Easy Rider.”

Written by David Wagner and Brent Goldberg, whose previous contributions to our cultural wealth includes “Saving Ryan’s Privates” (1998), the film was directed by Luke Greenfield, who went on all four legs for Rob Schneider’s “The Animal.”

They have appealing actors in Hirsch, Cuthbert and Olyphant, though the wan appearance of Timothy Bottoms as Matt’s dad is a forlorn jolt for those who recall “The Last Picture Show” (1971).

What, really, is this thing? One of the tawdriest silly jokers of the year, or one of the few mainstream comedies to have a pinch of audacity. In fact it is both, mixed implausibly but somewhat entertainingly.

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eating a retreat from the NC-17 barricades of “The Dreamers” (handled with the tongs of a subsidiary company), 20th Century Fox has settled for the more modestly risky R-raunch of “The Girl Next Door.”

This comedy begins implausibly.

Matthew (Emile Hirsch) is the shy, smart president of his senior class, even though only some other nerds seem to like him. It gets more implausible, as Matt voyeurizes the fabulous new blond neighbor, Danielle (Elisha Cuthbert), who then forces him to strip for her outdoors, and they begin to forge a sexy mutual regard.

There is some fun in such implausibility. This could be the first teen dating comedy conceived for sapfilled offspring of the porn stars in “Boogie Nights.” Danielle is, in fact, a porn star trying to turn clean and nice, but she’s such a total turn-on that males keep bending in the heat field she causes.

In rapid plot time, Matt and his conerds (amusing Chris Marquette and Paul Dano) are concocting a porn film to pay his way to Georgetown University, one that will slyly subvert the senior prom. They use nubile

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EVANS 14 CINEMAS

Movies Good 4/16 - 4/22 Kill Bill: Volume 2 (R) Fri: 3:45, 6:45, 9:35; SatSun: 12:45, 3:45, 6:45, 9:35; Mon-Thur: 3:55, 6:45, 9:35 The Punisher (R) Fri-Sun: 1:50, 4:45, 7:25, 9:55; Mon-Thur: 4:45, 7:25, 9:55 13 Going on 30 (PG-13) Sat: 7:00 The Alamo (PG-13) Fri: 3:55, 6:55, 9:40; SatSun: 12:55, 3:55, 6:55, 9:40; Mon-Thur: 3:55, 6:55, 9:40 The Girl Next Door (R) Fri-Sun: 2:10, 4:30, 7:05, 9:25; Mon-Thur: 4:30, 7:05, 9:25 The Whole Ten Yards (PG-13) Fri: 3:35, 5:45, 7:55, 10:00; Sat-Sun: 1:25, 3:35, 5:45, 7:55, 10:00; Mon-Thur: 5:45, 7:55, 10:00 Ella Enchanted (PG) Fri: 2:55, 5:05, 7:10, 9:15; Sat-Sun: 12:50, 2:55, 5:05, 7:10, 9:15; MonThur: 5:05, 7:10, 9:15 Johnson Family Vacation (PG-13) Fri: 3:25, 5:35, 7:45, 9:55; Sat-Sun: 1:15, 3:25, 5:35, 7:45, 9:55; Mon-Thur: 5:35, 7:45, 9:55

MASTERS 7 CINEMAS

Movies Good 4/16 – 4/22 Mystic River (R) Fri: 3:55, 6:45, 9:30; Sat-Sun: 12:45, 3:55, 6:45, 9:30; Mon-Thur: 3:55, 6:45, 9:30 Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights (PG-13) Fri: 5:15, 7:15, 9:45; Sat-Sun: 1:15, 3:15, 5:15, 7:15, 9:45; Mon-Thur: 5:15, 7:15, 9:45 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (PG)

Fri: 5:10, 7:10, 9:15; Sat-Sun: 1:10, 3:10, 5:10, 7:10, 9:15; Mon-Thur: 5:10, 7:10, 9:15 My Baby’s Daddy (PG-13) Fri: 5:00, 7:25, 9:40; Sat-Sun: 1:00, 3:00, 5:00, 7:25, 9:40; Mon-Thur: 5:00, 7:25, 9:40 Big Fish (PG-13) Fri: 4:00, 6:55, 9:25; Sat-Sun: 12:40, 4:00, 6:55, 9:25; Mon-Thur: 4:00, 6:55, 9:25

Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (PG13) Fri: 4:15, 8:15; Sat-Sun: 12:30, 4:15, 8:15;

Mon-Thur: 4:15, 8:15

You Got Served (PG-13) Fri: 5:05, 7:30, 9:35; Sat-Sun: 1:05, 3:05, 5:05, 7:30, 9:35; Mon-Thur: 5:05, 7:30, 9:35 REGAL 12 CINEMAS

Movies Good 4/16 – 4/22

Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights (PG-13) 2:30,

4:40, 7:00, 9:00

Mystic River (R) 2:05, 4:55, 7:40 Big Fish (PG-13) 2:20, 4:50, 7:35 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (PG)

2:25, 4:35, 7:20, 9:25

Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (PG13) 2:40, 7:45 You Got Served (PG-13) 2:10, 4:30, 7:30, 9:30 Butterfly Effect (R) 1:55, 4:15, 7:00, 9:20 Torque (PG-13) 2:35, 4:45, 7:15, 9:10 Brother Bear (G) 2:00, 4:15 Cheaper by the Dozen (PG) 2:10, 4:20, 7:10,

9:15

Haunted Mansion (PG) 2:15, 4:25, 7:05, 9:05 The Last Samurai (R) 1:55, 4:50, 7:45 Texas Chainsaw Massacre (R) 7:25, 9:30

M O V I E L I S T I N G S A R E S U B J E C T C H A N G E W I T H O U T N O T I C E .

T O

: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : Truth is stranger than fiction!

1244 Jones Street Downtown Augusta 724-2218

1257 Broad St. 724-1250

Connie and Carla (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:00, 2:15, 4:35, 7:05, 9:25, 11:50; Sun-Thur: 12:00, 2:15, 4:35, 7:05, 9:25 Kill Bill: Volume 2 (R) Fri-Sat: 12:35, 1:15, 1:45, 3:35, 4:15, 4:45, 6:40, 7:15, 7:45, 9:35, 10:15, 10:45, 12:25; Sun-Thur: 12:35, 1:15, 1:45, 3:35, 4:15, 4:45, 6:40, 7:15, 7:45, 9:35, 10:15, 10:45 The Punisher (R) Fri-Sat: 12:20, 12:50, 2:20, 3:10, 4:30, 5:10, 6:55, 7:30, 8:00, 9:45, 10:20, 10:50, 12:30; Sun-Thur: 12:20, 12:50, 2:20, 3:10, 4:30, 5:10, 6:55, 7:30, 8:00, 9:45, 10:20, 10:50 Ella Enchanted (PG) Fri-Sat: 12:10, 2:25, 4:35, 6:55, 9:15, 11:35; Sun-Thur: 12:10, 2:25, 4:35, 6:55, 9:15 The Alamo (PG-13) 1:10, 4:10, 7:10, 10:10 The Girl Next Door (R) Fri-Sat: 12:05, 2:35, 5:05, 7:35, 10:10, 12:40; Sun-Thur: 12:05, 2:35, 5:05, 7:35, 10:10 The Whole Ten Yards (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:25, 2:50, 5:20, 7:50, 10:30, 12:45; Sun-Thur: 12:25, 2:50, 5:20, 7:50, 10:30 Johnson Family Vacation (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 11:55, 12:20, 2:10, 2:40, 4:30, 5:00, 7:25, 7:55, 9:45 10:35, 12:05; Sun-Thur: 11:55, 12:20, 2:10, 2:40, 4:30, 5:00, 7:25, 7:55, 9:45 10:35 Hellboy (PG-13) 1:55, 4:55, 7:40, 10:25 Home on the Range (PG) 1:00, 3:00, 5:00, 7:00 Jersey Girl (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 9:00, 11:30; SunThur: 9:00 The Ladykillers (R) 12:30, 3:00, 5:30, 8:05, 10:35 Scooby Doo 2 (PG) 12:35, 2:50, 5:05 Walking Tall (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:25, 2:30, 4:40, 6:50, 9:05, 11:20; Sun-Thur: 12:25, 2:30, 4:40, 6:50, 9:05 The Prince and Me (PG) Fri-Sat: 1:35, 4:10, 6:45, 9:20, 11:55; Sun-Thur: 1:35, 4:10, 6:45, 9:20 Dawn of the Dead (R) 8:10, 10:40 The Passion of the Christ (R) 1:15, 4:20, 7:20, 10:20

Home on the Range (PG) Fri: 2:50, 5:10, 7:15; Sat-Sun: 12:45, 2:50, 5:10, 7:15; Mon-Thur: 5:10, 7:15 Walking Tall (PG-13) Fri: 3:10, 5:20, 7:30, 9:30; Sat-Sun: 1:05, 3:10, 5:20, 7:30, 9:30; Mon-Thur: 5:20, 7:30, 9:30 The Prince & Me (PG) Fri-Sun: 2:20, 4:50, 7:10, 9:25; Mon-Thur: 4:50, 7:10, 9:25 Hellboy (PG-13) Fri: 2:00, 4:20, 6:50, 9:20; Sat: 2:00, 4:20, 9:20; Sun: 2:00, 4:20, 6:50, 9:20; Mon-Thur: 4:20, 6:50, 9:20 The Ladykillers (R) Fri: 4:10, 7:20, 9:45; SatSun: 1:40, 4:10, 7:20, 9:45; Mon-Thur: 7:20, 9:45 Scooby Doo 2 (PG) Fri: 3:20, 5:30, 7:40, 9:50; Sat-Sun: 1:10, 3:20, 5:30, 7:40, 9:50; Mon-Thur: 5:30, 7:40, 9:50 Jersey Girl (PG-13) 9:00 Passion of the Christ (R) Fri: 4:00, 7:00, 9:45; Sat-Sun: 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 9:45; Mon-Thur: 4:00, 7:00, 9:45

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Pedestrian Wants To Be Your Friend

By Lisa Jordan

T

Who: Pedestrian When: April 19

known to break into seem effortless. Much of it can be attributed to the bond between band members.

“All four of us are so different. We bring different things to the table, not only musically, but also life experience,” Carr says.

The band has been playing since September of last year under the name The Jeremy Carr Band, in lieu of a name that categorized the band as a whole.

“I didn’t think it was fair. I didn’t like the sound of The Jeremy Carr Band,” says Carr.

“Even though I’ve done 99 percent of the songwriting from the beginning, with the band, it’s taken a completely different turn that I couldn’t do on my own.”

Bruce cites the subject matter of Carr’s material as one of the reasons he enjoys being part of Pedestrian. “That’s one of the things I like about playing with Jeremy — his music is positive and has got a good outlook.”

Carr admits that the ideas for his songs come out of everyday encounters.

“I love music, and I think musically,” he explains. “Music is the soundtrack of our lives.

Something happens in life that may be minute.

‘My Sweetness in Blue,’ I wrote that after meeting a couple people, a couple girls that came to a show and sat up front. The were so kind and so supportive. Out of that tiny bit of kindness came a song.”

Stick around long enough and maybe you’ll be immortalized in a Pedestrian song. They’re always on the lookout for new, friendly faces.

“We have all decided to go on this journey and invite as many people along as possible,” Carr says. “And not just as a huge fan base — as friends. If we don’t know you, we want to know you.”

Where: Dayspring Baptist Church Info: www.pedestrianband.com

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Overall

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 15, 2004

he musicians in Pedestrian make you feel right at home the minute you meet them. It’s no surprise, then, that Pedestrian is also the type of band that compels audiences to interact with them.

“I personally love to connect with the audience,” says vocalist, piano player and guitarist Jeremy Carr. He recalls the idea of performer, separated from audience via an invisible wall — a lesson he was taught in acting classes as a teenager — and dismisses it in Pedestrian’s live performances.

“I always remember that concept, and I hate it,” he says. “I genuinely like people. We feed off the audience’s energy. They’re part of the show.

They’re part of the experience.”

Guitar player Will McCranie agrees. “If you can win over the audience with just your personality, they connect with the music and the show as a whole,” he says.

They won’t hesitate to use humor to entertain an audience, either. Carr remembers one show where he jokingly snapped at bashful bassist Alex Bruce, who simply walked off stage midsong as if rejected by the band. The spontaneous move gained Bruce a few new fans that night. “That one subtle thing just connected with several people,” says Carr.

Pedestrian’s superb stage show is doubtless one of the reasons recommendations about the band are spreading quickly by word-of-mouth.

Their sophisticated musicianship is the other.

Rising and falling in moments of subtlety and sound, Pedestrian mixes the lush tones of a piano with more traditional rock instruments.

The tunes are beautiful and effective, the energy of the band’s performance is visually appealing and the instrumental jams Pedestrian has been

Debra J. Saul, D.V.M. 706-860-4884

music

“WHAT A WINNER! Our audience clamored for more… clearly a marvelous presentation.”

Midsummer Macon May 7, 8, 14, 15, 20, 22 . Dinner at 7 pm - Show at 8 pm $32 Off Post Civilians $30 Seniors (65 and over) Retirees, DA Civilians & Active Duty E8 and above $20 Active Duty E7 and below $15 Show Only

Please call 793-8552 for reservations and information or online at www.fortgordon.com Bring your photo ID to enter Fort Gordon.

Twittering Machine Produces Dynamic, Dreamy Pop

By Lisa Jordan

C

AUGUSTA’S ONLY KARAOKE BAR!!!

36

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 15, 2004

WELCOME MASTERS GUESTS! Greene Streets Karaoke Bar

Corner of Greene & 11th Street • 823-2002 Mon-Fri 3pm-3am • Sat 6pm-2am

ongratulations — It’s a Band!

Every new baby — or band, as the case may be — needs a name. Twittering Machine took theirs from a Paul Klee painting, “Die Zwitschermaschine.” Klee was a Swiss-born painter whose works evoke dream-like imagery, which corresponds appropriately with the lilting sounds of Twittering Machine.

Yeah, But What Do They Sound Like?

Glad you asked. Vocalist Beth Moon delivers dreamy, image-infused lyrics with vocals that rival those of any jazz diva. And, for your listening pleasure, Twittering Machine adds the resonant warmth of cello and the quirkiness of accordion to the mix. They’re a band that alternates between the beautiful and the strange.

A Twittering Machine Live Show… … is full of surprises. Ever wondered what a Kurt Weil tune would sound like performed by a heavy metal band?

Johnny Cash’s “I Still Miss Someone” as a tango? Then Twittering Machine’s your band.

Who: Twittering Machine When: April 24

Who Are These Guys, Anyway?

Twittering Machine is out of Atlanta and consists of vocalist and accordion player Beth Moon, cellist Daniel Brown, guitarist Eddie Whalen, bass player Brett Huckabee and drummer Bo Latham.

A Neat Little Side Dish Beth Moon not only sings and plays accordion — she’s a true Renaissance woman who paints, as well. Moon had her first public art showing in Atlanta last October. Her canvases are populated by tough-looking hipster gals, docile old men and dead octopi. Check it out at www.twitteringmachine.net/surlypop.html.

Listening Booth Twittering Machine self-released their debut album, “Breakfast by the Dunes,” in May of 2003. You can check out samples at — where else? — www.twitteringmachine.net. The album debuted at No. 146 on the CMJ Radio 200 chart.

Twittering Machine’s song “You Will Have Everything” was added to rotation on Sirius satellite radio, as well as to over 40 traditional radio stations across the U.S.

Where: Soul Bar Info: www.soulbar.com

s g tin

h g i S

KEITH CLAUS SEN, J.D. LOU DERMILK AND WARREN TW IGGS AT THE LA RRY JON WILSON AND FRIENDS CON CERT. N

O E LARRY J AIL AT TH H P E L O C .

ND CONCERT ASHLEY A FRIENDS D N A N O WILS

JIMMY EASTON, KAREN GORDON, MICHAEL KING AND ERIC MAYWEATHER AT JAZZ IN THE GARDENS.

BRIAN CLEMEN TS, ADAM HAT FIELD AND PA BLANCHARD T AT THE LARRY JON WILSON AND FRIENDS CONCERT.

N ELSH, VAUGH UEZ, LYNN W IG R D O R A E R A TH BARB FIELD AT DIANNE LITCH TAYLOR AND ON. TI STERS RECEP MAYOR’S MA

JOHN BARKSDALE, ALLISON SIMONS, ALEXIS WOOSLEY AND MELTON STRATOS AT THE MAYOR’S MASTERS RECEPTION.

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Photos by Michael E. Johnson

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 15, 2004

RANDY CARVER AND SHAWN MULLINS AT TH E LARRY JON WILSON AN D FRIENDS CONCERT.

CKENNEY ILSON, PAT M LARRY JON W THE LARRY CKENNEY AT AND CHRIS M CONCERT. AND FRIENDS JON WILSON

music

CD Reviews

By Andy Stokes

in concert

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METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 15, 2004

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Calexico — Convict Pool EP (Quarterstick) In a flooded market of alt-country soundalikes, Calexico truly stands alone.

They are the alternative to alt-country.

Channeling Ennio Morricone (scorer of the original spaghetti westerns), performing live with a real mariachi band and telling stories of the “great southwestern lifestyle,” Calexico may be the only band of its kind out there. Named after a bordertown between San Diego and the U.S./Mexico line and consisting of members of Giant Sand and Friends of Dean Martinez, they’re white boys who consistently churn out to-the-bone honest, cinematic cowboy music. After they saw their entire mission statement embodied last year in the brilliant “Feast of Wire,” their fourth, Calexico quickly returned with the “Convict Pool” EP. Most EPs are released for one of two reasons: To either complement a justreleased LP (hence the unabbreviated name “Extended Play”) or to act as an outlet for a musician or group with between three and eight songs, just shy of a full album, to hold fans over until that next full-length is released. “Convict Pool,” its six cuts a 50/50 split of covers and originals, is more the latter, a quick fix for Calexico fans (and maybe a slight indulgence for the band, also).

Of the covers — Love’s classic “Alone Again Or,” The Minutemen’s “Corona” and Francioz Breut’s “Si Tu Disais” — the Love piece easily burns brightest and with the most energy, though a cover of any Minutemen song is a sure-fire winner. Perhaps “Alone Again Or” rings truest because it’s associated with and pays worthy tribute to Arthur Lee, or maybe it’s because we didn’t know how badly we needed a Tex-Mex take on an unsung classic.

As for the originals, “Praskovia” is an instrumental accordion-led waltz, barely reaching two and a half minutes, “Sirena” a shuffling sing-a-long and “Convict Pool” finds Joey Burns singing with an uncharacteristic vocal suffering, far removed from his hushed monotone. All three are classic Calexico, showing that the genius on “Feast of Wire” still lingers.

Tortoise — It’s All Around You (Thrill Jockey) A three-year hiatus, in this case, is more than understood. What makes justifying this lacuna such an easy task, even for the most die-hard Tortoise fans, is in the strength and concentrated heaviness of each release. Tortoise makes instrumental mood music, but they’re very moody guys.

Jeff Parker’s meandering guitar line snaking over the docile church organ on the lead-off title track is as profound a statement as Tortoise have ever made. And their resume sports a long list of impressive feats with which “It’s All Around You” has to stand up to: The spaced-out free-jazziness of their eponymous debut and 1998’s “TNT”; their deep exploration of the groove on “Standards”; and the undeniable genius of 1996’s “Millions Now Living Will Never Die,” the album which made public McEntire’s production/compositional mastery.

Measuring how “It’s All Around You” compares to its predecessors is like comparing Almodovar films: They’re all equally memorable and artistically important, but worlds apart, while the artist’s stamp is still clearly marked upon the medium.

And speaking of films, Tortoise has always been in the business of making film music (though not really for actual movies). Before, however, their sound was more suited to accompany an old Steve McQueen (or is it Seijun Suzuki?) film, while the professional restraint now shown by the group would better provide mood accompaniment to the work of filmmakers Christopher Nolan (“Memento” or “Insomnia”), M. Night Shyamalan (“The Sixth Sense” or “Signs”) or even Roman Polanski.

Although the film score vibe is ever-present on “It’s All Around You,” nowhere is that theme more realized than on “Crest.” A powerful epic, the song’s synthesized string section ebbs and flows to create the image of a slowmotion beach reunion of a man and woman, but the song’s eerily dark tones place that couple on Three Mile Island instead of Hawaii.

Tortoise is on schedule to release their next album in 2007. A long time away, but no sweat for anyone with a copy of this record and a decent set of headphones.

music by turner

T

he most exciting MASTERS in many, many years is over, so let’s get back to music.

CLEAR CHANNEL’s decision to drop HOWARD STERN over his whopping $495,000 fine from the FCC last week continues to affect the industry. This is the second major penalty levied by the feds recently as another well-known radio host, “BUBBA THE LOVE SPONGE,” was hit with a Ruthian $715,000 fine a few weeks earlier.

Many people feel that morning radio shock jocks have gone too far in pushing the envelope of indecency, contending that this rigid policing of the airwaves is reminiscent of the McCarthy era. Locally, WEKL-FM, a Clear Channel station known as The Eagle, is feeling the pressure as well.

Kevin James, program director of the classic rock station that also airs NASCAR and AUGUSTA LYNX HOCKEY, isn’t taking any chances. He’s voluntarily pulled several “long versions” of songs that have one offending word each from the Eagle playlist that include “Who Are You”(THE WHO), “Jet Airliner” (STEVE MILLER) and even PINK FLOYD’s “Money.” All three songs have been staples of the format for almost 30 years, so why ban them now? Maybe “Louie, Louie” is next.

Grateful Summer Dept.

THE DEAD will tour again this year and have added a well-known guitarist to their ranks. WARREN HAYNES, who is also a member of the ALLMAN BROTHERS BAND and GOVT. MULE, will pull double duty this year, opening for and then joining the Dead for their set.

Haynes will be one of several guitarists in this current lineup of the band that includes longtime members BOB (not Mike) WEIR, PHIL LESH, BILLY KREUTZMANN and MICKEY HART. Two nearby dates are set for this summer: August 18 at Charlotte’s Verizon and August 19 at the Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre in Atlanta.

ERIC CLAPTON, whose recent ROBERT JOHNSON tribute album “Me and Mr. Johnson” is tearing up the charts, has announced plans for a U.S. tour as well. Clapton’s touring plans caught nearly everyone by surprise, as the famed guitarist said as recently as last year that he would not undertake another long trek around the States.

Hmmmm … maybe Johnson’s fabled “Hellhound” got on his trail. You can catch the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall-of-Famer June 18 at Philips Arena in Atlanta and at Geenville’s Bi-Lo Center the following evening.

That PIXIES reunion we told you about a few weeks ago is a definite go as far as Southern U.S. dates are concerned. FRANK BLACK will lead the reformed band in their first tour in over a decade. After a few warm-up dates, the Pixies will visit Atlanta’s Fox Theatre October 14 for what should prove to be a very memorable evening.

New albums in the stores over the past couple of weeks include TREY ANASTASIO’s (Phish) “Seis De Mayo,” JACK BLADES’ (ex-NIGHT RANGER) “Jack Blades,” BLONDIE’s “The Curse of Blondie,” DILATED PEOPLES’ “Neighborhood Watch,” FOCUS’ “Focus 8,” PAT MCGEE BAND’s “Save Me,” HENRY ROLLINS’ “Nights Behind the Treeline,” TODD RUNDGREN’s “Liar,” RON SEXSMITH’s “Retriever,” THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS’ “Indestructible,” SAM BUSH’s “King of My World,” GARY BURTON’s “Generations” and guitar wiz JOE SATRIANI’s “Is There Love in Space?”

“Weird Al” Mourns Parents In a sad twist of fate, also April 9, the parents of “Weird Al” Yankovic died of carbon monoxide poisoning. The fumes were from a fireplace burning with the flue closed. He has decided to continue with his tour, in hopes that the music will help him cope with the loss. Yankovic wants fans who wish to express their sympathy to make a donation to the Natural Resources Defense Council in the name of his parents, Nick and Mary Yankovic.

This Doesn’t Apply to You … . . . But it’s fun nevertheless. If you’re a fan of Duran Duran, and you’re currently living in the U.K., you can have them on your cell phone. You can download ringtones made from the songs “Girls on Film,” “Rio,” “Planet Earth,” “Wild Boys,” “Notorious” and “Ordinary World.” And it only costs £3 and 1 SMS, whatever that is.

COMPILED BY RHONDA JONES

Information compiled from online and other music news sources.

Q. Who is Matt (Guitar) Murphy?

T U R N E R

39

E D

Guitar Smashes Face The musical entity who should be planning a reality show is Muse. Remember “Jackass”? Well this one would be called “Dumbass.” The U.K. group was set for a U.S. tour, but now they may not be able to come because their frontman smashed his face into his guitar during an April 9 performance. The band site says, simply, that things are on hold for now, but that they

hope to get going again soon. The tour is in support of their new album, “Absolution.”

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 15, 2004

B Y

The Reality of … Britney?

Britney Spears wants to unleash yet another reality show upon the world. Bet you can’t guess what it’s about. That’s right — Britney! The show, pitched with the title “OnTourage,” would record the backstage goings on of Britney and the other dancers as they flit through Europe on the upcoming leg of the Onyx Hotel Tour. She would be narrator and erstwhile camerachik. There would be six episodes.

The European leg of the tour begins April 27, but we don’t yet know whether a network is close to making a deal. The budget is set at over $1 million per episode.

Turner’s Quick Notes TORI AMOS has a new DVD out May 18 recorded last year called “Welcome to Sunny Florida.” Look for “Motown 2,” a sequel to the million-selling “Motown” from former DOOBIE BROTHER MICHAEL MCDONALD. It’s being recorded now in France for a summer release. Sad to hear of the death last week of former ZOMBIES guitarist PAUL ATKINSON. The guitarist played on the group’s biggest hits, including “She’s Not There,” “Tell Her No’’ and “Time of the Season.”

After his playing days were over, he discovered and signed bands such as MR. MISTER, ABBA, BRUCE HORNSBY and JUDAS PRIEST. Atkinson was 58.

Turner’s Rock ‘N’ Roll Jeopardy A. This blues guitarist, once called “The best guitar in the blues” by Willie Dixon, was a member of the Blues Brothers Band.

ERIC CLAPTON

music minis

AFTER DARK

BIG AL AND THE HEAVYWEIGHTS

Thursday, 15th Aiken Brewing Co. – Big Al and the Heavyweights Andy’s – J. Walker The Bee’s Knees – Meditate on This!

Blind Pig – The Pat Blanchard Band The Boathouse – Shinedown, Jemani, Knowface Cafe Du Teau – Bernard Chambers Club Argos – Karaoke, Stephanie Ross Continuum – Playa*Listic Thursday D. Timm’s – The Section Finish Line Cafe – DJ Fox’s Lair – Karaoke Tax Party Greene Streets – Karaoke Honky Tonk – DJ Dougie Joe’s Underground – Ruskin Locals – Preston and Weston Metro Coffeehouse – The Jazz Collective Michael’s – Marilyn Adcock Modjeska – DJ Kenny Ray The Pourhouse – Karaoke with the Pourhouse Friends Robbie’s Sports Bar – DJ Rusty Shannon’s – Karaoke with Peggy Wheeler Tavern – DJ Flashback Buddy

Friday, 16th

40

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 15, 2004

Aiken Brewing Co. – Cerulean City Andy’s – Donnie McCormick Back Roads – DJ

TAKE OVER AIKEN BREWING CO.

APRIL 15 AND THE BLIND PIG APR

IL 16.

The Bee’s Knees – Projections and Selections Blind Pig – Big Al and the Heavyweights Borders – Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Cafe Du Teau – Bernard Chambers Charlie O’s – Live Band Club Argos – The ‘80s Strike Back Coconuts – Bikini Contest Cotton Patch – John Kolbeck Coyote’s – The Rhes Reeves Band, Shelly Watkins D. Timm’s – The Section El Rodeo – DJ Sontiago Finish Line Cafe – DJ Fox’s Lair – Daddy Grace Greene Streets – Karaoke Hangnail Gallery – Estrela CD Release Show, Burns Out Bright, Chelsea Logue, The Residence, Eve Grey, Scars Make Better Stories The Helm – Preston and Weston Honky Tonk – DJ Doug Romanella Imperial Theatre – John Berry Joe’s Underground – El Dorado Deluxe Last Call – DJ Richie Rich Little Honky Tonk – Heavy Dose Locals – Karaoke Marlboro Station – Claire Storm, Jessica Laurens Michael’s – Marilyn Adcock Modjeska – The Flavour Shoppe CD Release with DJ Ty Bess Ms. Carolyn’s – The Horizon The Pourhouse – New Day R. Gabriel’s – Christy Soporas

Robbie’s Sports Bar – DJ Rusty The Shack – DJ Chip Shannon’s – Bart Bell, Allen Black Soul Bar – (R)evolution with DJ Solo Stillwater Tap Room – David Childers and the Modern Don Juans Wheeler Tavern – DJ Flashback Buddy

Saturday, 17th Aiken Brewing Co. – Moosaa Andy’s – Open Jam Back Roads – DJ The Bee’s Knees – Jazz Sessions with Moniker Blind Pig – Shameless Dave and the Miracle Whips Borders – Paul Gordon Cafe Du Teau – Bernard Chambers Charlie O’s – Live Band Club Argos – DJ Rana, Dixie Divine and Co. Coconuts – DJ Tim Cotton Patch – Jayson Sabo, Michael Baideme Coyote’s – The Rhes Reeves Band, Shelly Watkins Crossroads – The Vellotones, Livingroom Legends D. Timm’s – The Section Finish Line Cafe – DJ, Karaoke Fox’s Lair – Andy McCraw French Market Grille West – Quiet Storm Greene Streets – Karaoke The Helm – Karaoke Contest Honky Tonk – DJ Doug Romanella Joe’s Underground – Joe Stevenson

Last Call – Masters Recovery Party Little Honky Tonk – Heavy Dose Marlboro Station – Sasha, Jackie Chanel Metro Coffeehouse – Live Afternoon Bluegrass: Eryn Eubanks’ 16th Birthday Pickin’ Party Michael’s – Marilyn Adcock Modjeska – Bangin’ International Mix by DJ Carlitos Partridge Inn – Sandy B. and the All-Stars The Pourhouse – The Recaps featuring Sassy Brass R. Gabriel’s – Chris and Bill Goss Robbie’s Sports Bar – DJ Rusty The Shack – DJ Buckwheat Shannon’s – Karaoke with Peggy Soul Bar – Soul*Bar*Sound*Lab Stillwater Tap Room – The Drovers Wheeler Tavern – DJ Flashback Buddy

Sunday, 18th Adams Lounge – DJ Cafe Du Teau – The Last Bohemian Quartet Hangnail Gallery – The Kinison, Zolof the Rock and Roll Destroyer, Jehovah Chang, The Kilpatrick Project Marlboro Station – Petite, Alexis Blake Orange Moon – Smooth Jazz Sunday with Emery Bennett Robbie’s Sports Bar – DJ Rusty Serendipity Café – Christopher Goss The Shack – Karaoke with DJ Joe Steel, Sasha Shannon’s – Shelly Watkins

AFTER DARK brought to you in part by T.G.I. Friday’s

“The Original Home of F & B Night!”

Sun 11pm-2am

$2.50 $2.50 $2.50 $1.00 Jager

Jager Bombs

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Somewhere in Augusta – John Kolbeck T.G.I. Friday’s – Brandon Bower

Squarepusher – Echo Lounge, Atlanta – April 24 Jump, Little Children – Variety Playhouse, Atlanta – April 24 Blonde Redhead – Echo Lounge, Atlanta – April 26 Yes – Philips Arena, Atlanta – April 28 Tortoise – Variety Playhouse, Atlanta – April 28 Music Midtown Festival – Midtown Atlanta – April 30-May 2 Edie Brickell – Variety Playhouse, Atlanta – May 4 David Bowie, Stereophonics – Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta – May 8 Keith Urban, Kenny Chesney – Bi-Lo Center, Greenville, S.C. – May 8 Doc Watson – Variety Playhouse, Atlanta – May 21 The Shins – Variety Playhouse, Atlanta – June 13 Atlanta Fest – Six Flags Over Georgia, Atlanta – June 16-19 AthFest – Various Venues, Athens – June 17-20 Vans Warped Tour ’04 – HiFi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta – July 28 Siouxsie Sioux – Variety Playhouse, Atlanta – Sept. 11

Monday, 19th Club Argos – Karaoke and Country Night Coliseum – Q.A.F. Continuum – Monday Madness Fox’s Lair – Open Mic Greene Streets – Karaoke Joe’s Underground – Happy Bones Mellow Mushroom – Open Mic Michael’s – Mike Swift

Tuesday, 20th

Wednesday, 21st Aiken Brewing Co. – Barefoot Manner The Bee’s Knees – Listening Room Session with Shaun Piazza Blind Pig – The Blues Torpedos Club Argos – Dance Party with DJ BJ, Claire Storm and Co. Coconuts – Karaoke Coliseum – Wacky Wednesdays Continuum – Open Mic Jam Sessions Coyote’s – The Girls of Spring Break Bikini Contest D. Timm’s – The Section Fox’s Lair – Open Mic Greene Streets – Karaoke Joe’s Underground – Keith “Fossill” Gregory

Upcoming Twittering Machine – Soul Bar – April 24 Scott Holt – Andy’s – April 30 Honestly – Crossroads – May 7 Garden City Music Festival – Downtown Augusta –

Food & Beverage Sunday!

May 8 DJ Baby Anne – Modjeska – May 14 Drivin’ N Cryin’ – Imperial Theatre – May 21 The Drive-By Truckers, Stewart and Winfield – Imperial Theatre – May 29

Elsewhere 3 Rivers Music Festival – Congaree Vista, Columbia, S.C. – April 16-18 Josh Groban – Fox Theatre, Atlanta – April 20 Ben Kweller, Death Cab for Cutie – 40 Watt Club, Athens – April 20; Variety Playhouse, Atlanta – April 21 Four Tet – MJQ, Atlanta – April 22 Stereolab – Variety Playhouse, Atlanta – April 22

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Mellow Mushroom – Live Entertainment Michael’s – Marilyn Adcock Modjeska – Theology on Tap: Understanding Homosexuality Robbie’s Sports Bar – DJ Rusty Shannon’s – Bart Bell Somewhere in Augusta – Live Entertainment Soul Bar – Live Jazz

Many tickets are available through TicketMaster outlets by calling 828-7700, or online at www.ticketmaster.com.

Tickets may also be available through Tix Online by calling 278-4TIX, online at www.tixonline.com or at their outlet location in Southgate Plaza. After Dark listings are subject to change without notice.

Deadline for inclusion in After Dark calendar is Tuesday at 4 p.m. Contact Rhonda Jones or Lisa Jordan by calling 738-1142, faxing 736-0443 or e-mailing to rhonda.jones@metrospirit.com or lisa.jordan@metrospirit.com.

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Adams Lounge – Keith “Fossill” Gregory The Bee’s Knees – 12*Tone Lounge Club Argos – Variety Music Night Coliseum – Tournament Tuesday D. Timm’s – The Section Fox’s Lair – Open Mic French Market Grille West – Wayne Capps Greene Streets – Karaoke Joe’s Underground – Keith “Fossill” Gregory Metro Coffeehouse – Irish Night with Sibin Michael’s – Marilyn Adcock

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METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 15, 2004

AFTER DARK

THE FREAKS COME OUT AT NIGHT!! check out page < 40

s the Romanian government hurries to improve law-enforcement sophistication in its campaign for European Union membership, villagers in the Transylvania region are resisting police crackdowns on their traditional practice of vampire killings, according to a March Knight Ridder News Service report.

Vampires (unlike Hollywood conventions using crosses and garlic) are just people who go bad upon death and cause continuing grief to family members unless they are re-killed. The body is dug up; the heart is removed with a curved sickle and burned (but it will likely squeak like a mouse and try to escape unless held down); and the ashes are mixed with water and drunk.

Villagers are outraged that some may face criminal charges for disturbing the dead, which carries a three-year prison sentence.

Send in the Snakes Former judge Bob Sam Castleman and his son pleaded guilty to mailing a poisonous copperhead snake to a neighbor with whom they were feuding (Pocahontas, Ark., January). And an Absa Bank Ltd. customer, upset about a car loan, was charged with setting five poisonous puff adder snakes free in the bank’s lobby (resulting in one worker being bitten) (Johannesburg, South Africa, January). (In October, a small, nonpoisonous snake was found slithering around a courtroom, in Danbury, Conn.; it was believed unrelated to the dispute being heard, even though that was a divorce case.)

Scenes of the Surreal • At a special Friday evening session of the New Mexico House of Representatives in February (on health insurance taxes), Democratic leaders needed Rep. Bengie Regensberg for a vote and sent state police to retrieve him at the motel where he was staying temporarily.

Troopers reported having to subdue and handcuff Regensberg, who was naked, combative and “likely intoxicated.” (Regensberg said the troopers were too rough with him.)

• The Japanese navy created a TV ad in February to encourage enlistments and public support for its mission of sending security troops to Iraq. In the spot, according to a Reuters reporter, seven actors dressed, Village People-like, as sailors dancing on the deck of a ship, singing (roughly translated), “Nippon seaman ship, seaman shipo, for love ... for peace” and “I love Japan, I love peace, The Maritime Self-Defense Force.” (The ad is needed, said a senior officer, because “there are a lot of young people and women who don’t seem interested (in the navy).”)

• In a December profile, The Washington Post examined the breezy American history curriculum being sold to schools by presidential brother Neil Bush (more in the news lately for his messy divorce). The course’s premise is that future “hunter-gatherers” (i.e., rambunctious boys) don’t have the patience to read and should

be taught by music, graphics and other techniques. For instance, the Constitutional Convention of 1787 is taught in a rap song, “It was 55 delegates from 12 states/Took one hot Philadelphia summer to create/A perfect document for their imperfect times/Franklin, Madison, Washington, a lot of the cats/Who used to be in the Continental Congress way back.”

Least Competent Criminals A pickup truck driver was arrested by an Indiana state trooper because his cargo was blocking sight of the license plate in the back window; on closer inspection, the cargo was revealed to be 900 pounds of marijuana (Indianapolis, March). And in Lafayette, Ind., Joshua K. Kochell, 27, was charged with robbing two gas stations; his probation officer was able to track his whereabouts precisely that evening because Kochell was still wearing an electronic monitor from a 2001 sentence for theft (March).

More Things to Worry About • More third-world visitors arrived at Western airports illegally carrying in their luggage indigenous meats destined for family festivals. A 48-year-old woman from Gambia was arrested at Gatwick airport in England with 13 pounds of goat and snail meat and 172 pounds of catfish (March), and at Atlanta’s Hartsfield-Jackson airport, a whole smoked monkey was confiscated from a woman arriving from Cameroon for a wedding reception. A U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service official said these airport seizures are “only the tip of the iceberg” of the illegal importing of traditional meats.

• (1) The Trufresh company (Suffield, Conn.) said in March that its method of freezing lobsters for restaurants has resulted in a few lobsters, frozen stiff for hours at a time, reviving on their own. (The company ships all frozen lobsters with claws banded, just in case.) (2) A photo technician at a CVS drugstore in Advance, N.C., notified police in March when someone dropped off film showing two male employees of a local Wendy’s, in bathing suits, frolicking in the restaurant’s pots-and-pans dishwashing sink.

Also, in the Last Month ...

A 37-year-old man, angry that a car splashed mud on him, was charged with slashing the tires on 548 cars (Bournemouth, England). And a jury assessed a girls’ high school basketball coach $1.5 million for aggressively hounding a player to lose 10 pounds, which ultimately traumatized her into an eating disorder (West Windsor-Plainsboro, N.J.). And the bad-boy artist who once put goldfish into blenders at a gallery, almost defying visitors to turn them on (and one did), used 780 gallons of red paint to cover a 1,000-square-yard iceberg off the coast of Greenland.

— Chuck Shepherd © United Press Syndicate

Brezsny’s Free Will

My sense is that you’ve been doing OK in all these tasks, but there’s room for improvement.

The coming weeks are the perfect time to kick your efforts into high gear.

Astr ology ARIES (March 21-April 19)

Due to a confluence of unusual astrological influences, you’ve been temporarily authorized to act as if you are the love child of comedians Chris Rock and Margaret Cho. Here’s some of the behavior you have a cosmic license to express: 1. Expose hypocrisy with uproarious honesty. 2. Lay yourself bare as a way to educate and inspire others. 3.

Shock people awake with irreverent new spins on traditional subjects. 4. Risk being annoying in order to be a servant of the hilarious truth. 5. Be edgy and healing, disruptive and inspiring, halfcrazy and profoundly real.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

In my opinion, you’re perfect just the way you are. Everything about your life is exactly how it should be. You’re right on schedule to fulfill the mission you came to earth to carry out. The paradoxical thing is, though, that you can become even more perfect, and make your life even more completely what it could be and expedite your progress in accomplishing the mission you came to earth to carry out. This week is an ideal time to understand how these seemingly contradictory truths can co-exist.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

Have you guessed that 2004 is the best year ever to coordinate the parts of your life that have always worked at cross-purposes? Do you realize how much power you now have to unify opposites?

Please intensify your efforts to strike a dynamic balance between the impulses of your mind and the yearnings of your heart. Raise your expectations as you strive to create a more perfect blend of freedom and commitment. Summon an almost extreme faith in your ability to be both a charismatic star and a cooperative team player.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

The editors of the “Old Farmer’s Almanac” have proposed a new generation of superstitions. Never

sing in bed, they warn, or wear just one shoe.

Avoid putting the wrong key in a lock, and never lay a broom on a bed. The doomsayers of the mainstream media do the same thing as the “Old Farmer’s Almanac” all the time, of course. They drum up an ever-fresh supply of reasons why you should walk around paranoid, although they pretend their scary fantasies are more real than those of the almanac. My feeling, Cancerian, is that it’s a perfect time for you to rebel against every kind of compulsive fright-mongering, whether it originates with the professional perpetrators of mass anxiety or in the depths of your own unconscious. To get started, sing in bed while lying next to a broom and wearing one shoe.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

It’s time for a check-in, Virgo. What progress have you been making in your work on this year’s big opportunities? As I suggested last December, you’ll attract unexpected help in 2004 by growing the parts of your life that are small and timid and immature. Likewise, you’ll generate good luck any time you enlarge your sphere of influence and energize your ambitions. Thirdly, you’ll feel more and more at home in the world if you aggressively seek out interesting responsibilities that liberate you from your old images of yourself.

swearing 42Band 43“The Brady Bunch” girl 44Milk source 45Danger signal on the prairie 48“Caught ya!”

51Paper towel hawker, in old TV ads 53Mitchum competitor 55Ragamuffin 57Prior to the 20th Amendment, what 20-Across would do on 37-Across, or when they would do it 61Of an old empire 63Like Congress 64Limelight milieu 65Turkish chiefs 66In any case

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE S T A C O A T H D I V I C D I V A A R E N G A T O G I T S E S E R E D D A V E R D I V O A T A L M A N L

N A N A S B R I S T L Y

C L I M B S

P A N E L

A N G L O

D O G M A

R U E

F A U V E S A L T

S A N E R

S E R O S C K H A U R R S L B K A I D D D D A O Y

G R O C E R Y T Y P E A

R U M O R

I P S O

M E E T

M E T S

S K I H A T

Y A K I M A

D I E S E L

N O N I S S H E S U E Y S E D E N

After you damage a fingernail, it grows faster than when it’s in its normal state. Scientists have proved this, though they don’t understand why it happens.

I have observed that a similar phenomenon often occurs in people who have experienced a psychic wound. They ripen emotionally with amazing speed, blasting through inner obstacles that had kept them enslaved to the past. I predict that you will soon begin responding in this way to your recent hurt.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Let’s take stock of the progress you’ve made since January 1. Most strikingly, you’ve been more disciplined in your quest for freedom and more discriminating about expressing your generosity.

That’s very good news. In past years, your drive for freedom has sometimes been chaotic, causing you to overestimate your strength; your generosity has often been excessive, leading you to promise too much. The fact that you’re now reining in these two tendencies is a sign that you’re finally poised to claim a measure of sovereignty you’ve never been ready for before.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

You may find this hard to believe, but it’s very important for you to decide what actor or actress you’d choose to play you in the hypothetical movie based on your life. For me, it’s obviously Viggo Mortensen, though if he weren’t available I’d

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Please try to be a little more boring this week, Aquarius. The swarming melodrama you call your life has become waaaayyyy too interesting. You’ve got more superheated plots and subplots going on than a Mexican soap opera. People are spreading such extremely entertaining gossip about you that you may be hard-pressed to live up to your growing reputation. Having said all that, however, I want to emphasize that I’m only asking you to turn down the excitement level one notch, and no more.

You just need to shift from outrageous pandemonium to wild intrigue.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

Scientists believe that objectivity and intellectual curiosity are the two attitudes most crucial to understanding how the world works. The nineteenth-century Scottish essayist, Thomas Carlyle, had a different emphasis. “A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge,” he wrote.

Kabbalistic teacher Ann Davies agreed, saying that in order to truly see a person, you have to connect with his or her inner essence through loving empathy. Regardless of which style of learning you’re naturally inclined to, Pisces, I suggest you use both aggressively in the coming weeks. You have an unprecedented opportunity to grow both smarter and wiser. The best way to take advantage is to be inquisitive, unbiased and profoundly compassionate.

— © Rob Brezsny

You can call Rob Brezsny, day or night, for your

Expanded Weekly Horoscope

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$1.99 per minute • 18 & over • touchtone phone required • C/S 612-373-9785 • www.freewillastrology.com

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67Sighed (for) 68Hand-over-

mouth reaction

69Dry

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2Trims 3At least 4Party desirables 5Declined 6Mennonite

decoration

7Former Wall

Street insider Boesky 8Fountain order 9Org. for an OB/GYN

10One who’s left

holding the bag 11Old country, maybe 12Meteor materials 13Pen sound 18“___ Autumn” (Woody Herman hit) 21N.L. Central team: Abbr.

25Biblical king 27A.C. letters 28Stalk outgrowth 29Put on __ 31VCR maker 32Lord’s Prayer pronoun 33Primitive percussion instrument 34Roles in “Frankenstein” movies 36Even one

2

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23 27

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29 35

39

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56 62

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Puzzle by Patrick Merrell

37Harbor problem 38When, for an

49One trying to

run from home 50Cling eager beaver 52Adult 39Cheese type 40Dusk-___-dawn 53A continent: Abbr.

41Chemical suffix 5437-Across 46“Fire” preceder oaths, e.g. [or] 47It gets in hot 37-Across water parades follow 48Achieve success them

55Trace 56Oppositionist 58Capital

occupied by the Germans in 1941 59Figureheads?

60Lock securer 62“The Simpsons” neighbor

For answers, call 1-900-285-5656, $1.20 a minute; or, with a credit card, 1-800-814-5554.

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New York Times Crossword Puzzle

37Cause for

ACROSS Mandlikova of tennis 5Narrow 9Cold response?

14Any of the Beatles, once 15Rolling rock 16Language akin to Tahitian 17Kind of system 19Ones quick with a line?

20Washington V.I.P.’s 22Secretary, e.g.

23Sci. facilities 24Antiknock fluid 26Obsolescent suffix 27Mr. Bumble’s position in “Oliver Twist” 30Verb with thou 33Cronus or Oceanus 35Salad option

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

According to the New York Daily News, Leo novelist Danielle Steel had a tailor embroider the word “bitch” on 16 pairs of her socks. I suggest you do the same. If that’s too extreme or timeconsuming, write “hard core” on your ankle with a felt-tip marker. If that would sully your dignity, at least imagine that you have a tattoo on the sole of your foot that says “wise-guy” or “riot grrrl.” The point is not to send a tough message to the general public, but to make a secret pact with yourself. No one else but you needs to know that you’re planning to become better grounded and more fiercely assertive.

Note: The circled square has two answers.

1

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

The moment is ripe to initiate shifts in the way you create your closest relationships. For starters, I suggest you change the words you habitually use to deal with this part of your life. “Relationship,” for instance, is a crashingly dull term for something so interesting. Try “hookup” or “twoway” instead. And rather than referring to someone as your “friend” or “partner,” call him or her your “accomplice,” your “freestyle” or your “lightning.”

Dead terms like “significant other,” “boyfriend,” “girlfriend” and “spouse” should be forever banished as well. In their places, try “lushbuddy,” “heartbeat” or “jelly roll.” Feel free, of course, to dream up your own fresh slang.

probably accept Robin Williams or Snoop Dogg.

But then I can afford to indulge in the luxury of indecision about this matter, whereas you really can’t. For reasons you can’t imagine — reasons that have to do with you taking your life’s work more seriously than ever before — you must expand and deepen the mythic intensity of your life story.

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The Advice Goddess

Amy Alkon

I

’m a pre-law student looking for a healthy, supportive relationship, not necessarily an engagement ring. My problem is that I have a hard time trusting the men I date. I’ve been burned many times; none of my relationships has lasted more than three months. I’m terrified that my current boyfriend will abandon me now that we’ve slept together, and my constant worrying drains the enjoyment out of dating. How can I put fear aside and let the real me shine through?

— Future Tense “Hey, baby ... how ‘bout you come home with me and we have a healthy, supportive relationship — all night long?”

Strange, huh? ... the dearth of guys slithering over in bars to whisper that in women’s ears. It isn’t that most guys are looking for a relationship that’s toxic and ego-trashing. They’d just rather cling to the fantasy that they’ll be spending a lot of time engaged in the kind of sexual activity that should, by law, require both participants to helmet up — not participating in the relationship equivalent of corrective shoes.

Now, maybe you aren’t running around spouting personal growth psychobabble — at least, not until the second date. And you might claim you aren’t “necessarily” trolling for a ring, but your letter (and probably your every pore) is screaming: “SOMEBODY MARRY ME RIGHT NOW, OR I SWEAR I’LL CURL UP AND DIE ON THE SPOT!” Come on, tell the truth: You mentally undress every guy you meet — not because you’re hot to see them naked, but so you can mentally redress them in a rented tux to preview how they’d look as the groom. So, while what you call “the real me” might not be “shining through” — it probably is leaking out.

Unfortunately, “desperately needy” is not synonymous with “explosive firecracker of fun.”

To a guy, it foreshadows a lifetime of “our relationship” conversations with somebody whose hobby is writing letters to and from her inner child: “I hate him!” “Me, too!” “Let’s turn him into emotional roadkill.” “Yeah, let’s!” In short: El disappearo — fast.

That death-grip you call love comes from looking for self-validation in all the wrong places. Hint: It isn’t a carryout item. Drop your feverish search for it in others’ hearts, minds and boxer shorts, and turn to more sensible sources, such as “The Six Pillars Of SelfEsteem” by Nathaniel Branden. In time, you

might understand how goofy it is to refuse to trust all men because you couldn’t trust one or two, or even 25. And what kind of “trust” are you talking about anyway? Trusting that a guy will Krazy Glue himself to your side ‘til decomposition do you part? Sure, it’s important to find somebody who won’t swipe spare change from your night stand. But when a guy stops showing interest in you, it isn’t a sign that he’s a terrible person; it’s a sign that he’s no longer interested.

Only if you stop trying to get a guy to sign on the line for happily ever after will you have a shot at happily ever now — and maybe even happily ever some more. Then again, what’s wrong with happily ever now? What if you just have three great months with somebody? Why is that a tragic failure? Actually, it would be wise to think of it as relationship-as-usual, considering your current dating pool of early20-something guys. Your first clue that a guy is unlikely to put down picket fence stakes and go the whole husband with you? Maybe the fact that he drives a skateboard with the bumper sticker “my other car is a skateboard.” ___________________________________ I’ve been talking to a woman via e-mail and phone for several months. We live hundreds of miles apart, but I’ve suggested we meet for a date in her area. She enthusiastically agreed.

My usual modus operandi is to buy a woman a cup of coffee so we can casually get to know each other. Does a long-distance leadin require something more elaborate?

— Coffee Lover A picture may be worth a thousand words, but an escape route until you find out whose picture it actually is? Priceless. Before you go, joke with this woman that every seat on your date should be considered an exit-row seat, with either person being free to yank off the emergency door and jump at any time. While your usual m.o. might be a great way to get to know a girl you just met at Groceryland, you may want to make sure you have easy access to beer goggles in case your online love isn’t all she was JPEG’ed up to be. Plan to meet over a glass of something alcoholic in the late afternoon or early evening, and you and she can always opt to go on to dinner — perhaps with other, more attractive people you bumped into while sprinting away from the bar.

— © 2004, Amy Alkon

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Monday-Saturday 10am-9pm 2635 Washington Road | Augusta, Georgia 30904 | 706.738.7777 www.windsorjewelers.net ELIGIBLE BACHELOR Businessman and entrepreneur, 44, 6’, 170lbs, N/S, N/D, serious, tall, tan, trim, talented, educated. Seeking exceptional SF, 24-37, for exclusive relationship. !115278 GIVE ME A CALL SWM, 43, 5’10”, 155lbs, enjoys cooking, movies, the outdoors, romance, laughter, good conversation, good company and more. Seeking outgoing, interesting, sincere SWF, 24-35, for friendship, maybe more. !989836 SEND ME AN ANGEL SWM, 39, 5’10”, 150lbs, mustache, goatee, shaved head, into hard rock, heavy metal.

Seeking compatible, cool SF, 32-55, friends first, possibly more. !984481

BY MY SIDE SWM, 51, 6’, self-employed, looking for friendship. I like movies, long drives, good times. You: SWF, 35-55, same interests, companionship first. !986387 FRIENDS OR...

SWM, 36, 165lbs, athletic type, likes watching movies, some evenings out, dining, dancing. Seeking SW/HF, 20-45, slim to average build, same mindset, for possible LTR. !943034 NASCAR FAN SWM, 39, 5’11”, brown/hazel, average build, Libra, smoker, seeks an old-fashioned WF, 21-45, for LTR. !932866 VELVET TEDDY BEAR SBM, 37, Sagittarius, N/S, in construction field, seeks an intelligent, attractive woman, 23-45, with healthy full figure, loving, caring, affectionate. !936899

GIVE ME A TRY SBM, 25, 5’3”, with a muscular build, seeks a woman for a relationship based on friendship, trust and fun. !993092 HOW DO I SOUND TO YOU? Handsome, financially secure SWM, 54, enjoys the outdoors, long walks, swimming, dining out, biking and much more. Seeking intelligent, caring, trustworthy SW/AF, 3855, for friendship, maybe more. !960841 ENJOY MY TIME SBM, 46, 5’8”, 190lbs, looking for SB/WF, 25-50, N/S, likes watching tv, going to the movies, cooking. Friendship and romantic times first, maybe more. !945941 ARE WE A GOOD MATCH? SWM, 37, brown/blue, Leo, smoker, enjoys outdoor sports, Nascar. Seeks caring woman, 25-50, who wants to be treated like a queen. !891638 KIND, GENTLEMAN DWM, 49, 5’10”, medium build, homeowner, financially secure, enjoys cooking, gardening, reading and music. smoker, likes asian and black females, 35-55, for companinoshioo and possible LTR. !607612

EYES STILL BLUE 6’, 190lbs, brown/blue, handsome, chef, pianist, will send photo. Seeks pretty female companion, 26-39, no kids, light smoker/drinker okay, for traveling, dating, possible LTR. !882215 SEEKING SOMEONE SPECIAL SBM, 61, Virgo, smoker, likes reading, movies, dining out, travel. Seeking outgoing, caring woman, 18-55, with similar interests, for LTR. !850674 KINDRED SPIRITS SBM, 54, 5’7”, average build, local truck driver, Taurus, marriage-minded, smoker, seeks BF, 42-60, a kind soul. !928892 NEW TO AREA SBM, 41, 6’3”, 205lbs, brown eyes, handsome, Libra, N/S, ISO honest, sincere, fullfigured woman, 20-60, race unimportant. !928684 TAKE A CHANCE SM, 39, 6’, 240lbs, laid-back, artistic, loves life and trying new things. Seeking SF for fun times, friendship, casual dates and maybe more. !976288

SPICE IT UP SWM, 31, with blue-green eyes, and a goatee, loves spicy foods, and is in search of a woman for outdoor fun. !992800

I GIVE GOOD LOVE SM, 28, 5’5”, N/S, Virgo, enjoys sports, bowling, movies, going out, quiet times.

Seeking a single lady, 26-34, same interests, for dating, possibly more. !957932

ARE YOU OUT THERE? SWM, 56, 135lbs, athletic build, employed, likes movies, quiet conversations, gospel music, C&W, snuggling and good company.

Seeking SF, slim-average build, to share a lasting loving relationship. !979620

JUST LET ME KNOW SWM, 27, 5’10”, 165lbs, enjoys dining out, movies, music, conversation, traveling, romance, laughter and more. Seeking outgoing, intelligent, humorous SW/BF, 18-30, for companionship. !956434

YOU HAVE 6 NEW MATCHES

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M B D F H C LTR

Male Black Divorced Female Hispanic Christian Long-term Relationship

G W A S J P N/D N/S

Gay White Asian Single Jewish Professional Non-Drinker Non-smoker

45

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METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 15, 2004

BIG GIRLS NEED LOVE TOO SBF, 33, Sagittarius, seeking single man, 31-45, for romance, real friendship, possible LTR later. Give me a call. !111717 LOOKING FOR YOU SWF, 37, 5’6”, Scorpio, N/S, enjoys mountains, bowling, the beach and music.

Seeking WM, 35-48, N/S, to be a companion, friend. !456544 NASCAR/ETC MAMMA DWF, young 59, 5’4”, smoker, enjoys all racing, the outdoors, reading, beaches, mountains, motorcycles, fishing, sports and more.

Seeking SWM, 54-65, with similar interests, for companionship. !989288 MAYBE YOU’RE THE ONE? DWF, 52, 5’4”, brown/green, 170lbs, retired, secure, homeowner, loves sailing, cooking, gardening, shooting pool. Seeking considerate, pleasant SM who likes the same, for companionship and possible LTR. !980275 COMPANIONSHIP DWF, 50, interested in gardening, antiques and traveling. Churchgoer. Seeking DWM, 48-58, for loving, tender relationship. !732056 THE BOMB SWF, 18, with a full figure, seeks a male, 1825, who enjoys movies, dinner, for friendship and possibly more with time. !955355 SEARCHING FOR MR RIGHT SBPF, 39, Libra, loves church, traveling, movies, and dining out. Seeking SBPM, 3760, for possible LTR. !421273 SEEKING HONESTY SBF, 37, full-figured enjoys dining out, movies, reading, music, laughter, parks, and much more. Seeking similar SB/WF, 32-50, for friendship, maybe more. !964698 BE MY TEDDY BEAR SWF, 32, 5’3’’, 180lbs, auburn/blue, no kids, never married, enjoys movies, sports, travel, dining, bowling, cuddling, quiet evenings.

Seeking honest, romantic SBM, similar interests, for dating, possible LTR. !894568 FRIEND IN FAITH SBF, 47, Capricorn, N/S, involved with church, very creative, artistic, designs tile and cards. Seeking BCM, 44-58, involved with church, who loves the Lord. !707742 WHOLE LOTTA LOVE SBF, 33, would like to share movies, dinners, quiet evenings at home, the usual dating activities, with a great guy. !463610 OLD-FASHIONED LADY SWCF, 48, 5’3”, 150lbs, blonde/green, Scorpio, N/S, enjoys church, Bible studies, music, dining out. Seeking SWCM, 35-60, N/S, for friendship and more. !840939 ENDANGERED SPECIES SBF, 57, average build, independent, likes the good things life has to offer, fun to be with. Seeking SBM, 55-68, independent, honest and caring. !927805 CLOSER TO FINE SBF, 58, retired school teacher, N/S, enjoys traveling and tv. Seeking BM, 50-65, educated (high school at least, please), who enjoys having good clean fun. !909981

ISO CHRISTIAN VALENTINE SWCF, 61, outgoing, Libra, N/S, seeks SWCM, 59-65, with whom to share Christ, friendship, and laughter. Must be family-oriented, kind, outgoing, emotionally/financially secure. Let’s give our friendship a try. !911830 TALL BROWN SUGAR SBF, 25, 5’9”, N/S, enjoys movies, concerts, quiet times, and good music. Seeking WM, 23-30, N/S, no children. !906840 WANNA DANCE? SWF, 57, seeks dance partner for Salsa and Square Dancing! Any size, shape, big or tall, short or small, matters not! It’s the footwork that counts! Beginner-intermediate level. !898986 I WANT TO LOVE YOU SBF, 18, 5’2”, Cancer, enjoys writing poetry, walks on the beach, hanging out and enjoying life. Seeking BM, 18-24, who will treat her right, and expects the same in return. !880193 WAITING FOR YOU SB mom, 24, Virgo, seeks a man for days at the park, the mall, or at the movies, and spending time with family and friends. !883496 HIKER HEAVEN SWF, 45, full-figured, N/S, enjoys church, exploring, old movies, auctions, and gym.

Seeking WM, 46-56, N/S. Let’s make tracks together. !807679 ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE Honest SWF, 28, 5’10”, 210lbs, blonde/blue, enjoys classic rock, horror movies, and quiet nights at home. Seeking SW/HM, 18-40, for friendship, possible LTR. !874789 LOVE OF LIFE Attractive, classy, vivacious SWCF, 50ish, N/S, N/D, seeks SWCM, N/S, N/D, who is honest, financially/mentally secure, and ready for commitment. !875741 SIMPLE KIND OF LIFE SWF, 34, listens to country and oldies music, and wants to meet a man to cuddle up on the couch and watch a good movie, or enjoy other simple pleasures. !860787 JAZZY MISS Slender and attractive SBPF, 31, loves music, conversation, travel. Seeking kind, friendly, honest and family-oriented SBM, 30-38, for fun times. !865339 LOOKING FOR ME Female, 34, Leo, smoker, seeks man, 2538, for romance, real friendship, with similar interests, possibly more later on. !844726 DREAM GUY SBF, 29, searching for open-minded, outgoing SM, 22-38, military man A+, for friendship, fun nights out, dancing, talks and maybe more. !836990 SOMEONE TO LOVE SWF, 48, enjoys a good horror movie, a drama or a comedy. Seeking a man for romance, quiet times at home, or just dancing the night away! !832399 COULD THIS BE YOU? SBF, 45, 5’4”, full-figured, Taurus, N/S, enjoys church, dining out, reading, and quiet times at home. ISO BM, 45-65, N/S, for LTR. !810309 A VERY SERIOUS WOMAN SBPF, 34, mother of 3, nurse, independent and secure, enjoys church, movies, dining. looking for commitment-minded, level-headed, spiritual, spontaneous, respectful man, who truly appreciates a good woman.

Sound like you? !777612

To become a member, call 1-888-223-7044 To listen and respond to ads, call 1-900-226-8908 Calls cost $1.99 per min., Must be 18+.

,call 1-866-832-4685

To respond to ads using a WELL-ROUNDED MAN Educated SBPM, 41, 5’11”, loves reading, working out, the arts, dining out, travel, quiet times. Would like to meet SWF, 30-45, with similar interests, for fun, friendship, and maybe more. !442021

I WANT TO MEET YOU! GBM, 32, 5’7”, average build, Pisces, N/S, likes reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports. Seeking outgoing, caring GWM, 2445, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. !850885 LET’S MEET FOR COFFEE Good-looking GWM, 36, 6’, 200lbs, muscular, tan, enjoys working out, yard work, spending time with my dogs. Looking for attractive SM, 32-48, for dating, maybe leading to LTR. !436231 ACTIVE SBM SBM, 49, Pisces, N/S, enjoys bowling, movies, playing sports, seeks compatible BM, 30-46, N/S, with similar interests. !846543 RELAXING AT HOME SBM, 35, Virgo, N/S, likes relaxing at home, fun, concerts, trips going to the beach. Seeks fun, spontaneous SBM, 26-37, N/S. !532700 SEND ME AN ANGEL SBM, 31, seeking serious, open-minded, down-to-earth guy, 30-45, likes hanging out at home, movies. Friendship comes first, possible LTR. No drama! !111070 TIME AFTER TIME SM, 38, is an easygoing guy looking for another guy to spend time with, and share a good friendship. !993392 TAKE A CHANCE GWM, 43, 6’2”, 195lbs, black brown, seeks other GWM, for fun times and maybe something more. !493530 CALL ON ME SWM, 43, 5’10”, 160lbs, blond/blue, loves the outdoors, dogs, fishing. Seeking SW/HM, 21-35, similar interests, friends first, maybe more. !113631 DOGGONE LOVEABLE SWM, 37, Gemini, smoker, nature and animal lover (especially puppies), seeks outgoing, down-to-earth man, 20-70, for friendship. !909184 FUN-FILLED DAYS AWAIT SBM, 24, enjoys taking trips, nice restaurants, fun evenings, dancing, quality time together. Seeking masculine SBM, 20-55, for possible relationship. !894435 HEALTHY AND FIT SBM, 25, 5’5”, 170lbs, masculine, nighttime inventory stocker, Capricorn, N/S, enjoys working out. Seeking energetic, passionate, masculine WM, 20-50, N/S. !708544 IS IT YOU? Simple, easygoing SM, 47, enjoys bowling, music, cooking, more. Seeking outgoing lady for good times, talks, friendship and possible LTR. !975288 EASY TO TALK TO SWM, 48, loves good Italian or French cuisine, and is looking for a man who is easy to get along with, for romance. !870126 GLOVERVILLE GUY GWM, Capricorn, N/S, loves bars, karaoke, cooking out, and pool. Seeking GWM, 2849, smoker, to cuddle up with. !936256 LET’S SADDLE UP SWM, 27, 5’8”, brown/brown, Virgo, smoker, loves horses, camping (with or without the horses), and traveling. Seeking man, 25-40, who can ride, ride, ride. !921725

46

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 15, 2004

How do you

LOOKING FOR COOL CAT... to converse with. SBM, 34, Capricorn, N/S, game and drama-free, seeks BM, 26-48, serious-minded, with sense of direction in life. !889038 LET’S GET TOGETHER GWPM, 37, 5’9”, brown/brown, who enjoys reading, movies, politics, entertainment, seeks a guy for dating, possibly growing into more. !883365 SEEKS MAN WITH DIRECTION GBM, 33, Capricorn, N/S, seeks understanding, level-headed, secure GBM, 2548, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. !854633 INTERESTED? Independent SWM, 37, 5’8”, 150lbs, brown/brown, would like to meet fun-loving, honest, real, professional, secure female to share dates, talks, walks, dinners and romance. !848764 FUN TO HANG AROUND WITH GWM, 52, 5’2”, smoker, enjoys playing pool, having fun, seeks outgoing GWM, 40-55, smoker, with similar interests. !844895 SEEKING SPECIAL GENTLEMAN SBM, 33, 6’2”, 245lbs, Taurus, N/S, likes movies, camping, music, reading, sports.

Seeking out GM, 35-48, for friendship, possible romance. !824261 GREAT PERSONALITY SBM, 18, 6’3”, 220lbs, masculine build, seeking SBM, 18-29, very masculine, energetic, fun-loving, to go out for dinners, walks and more. !627150 GOOD COMPANY SBF, 27, wants to meet a friend for hanging out, shopping, having fun and enjoying good company. !990953 © 2004 TPI GROUP

PRINCE SBM, 27, 5’11”, 165lbs, enjoys music, travel, reading, dining. Seeking a woman who is outgoing, attractive, with similar interests for possible LTR. !954917 NO MORE GAMES SWM, 34, 6’4”, 190lbs, is in great shape, and is looking for a woman who keeps herself healthy and believes in honesty. !955377 WHAT A CATCH Slim SBM, 22, 5’10”, green eyes, looking for a laid-back, cool girl, 18-29, very attractive, open mind. Let’s talk. !952108 LOVEABLE TEDDY BEAR SBM, 38, 6’2”, Cancer, smoker, loves sports, dinner, dancing, movies. Seeking woman, 20-45, smoker, to kick up her heels with me. !938554 LET ME LOVE YOU SWM, 37, 6’, 200lbs, Cancer, N/S, in construction work, loves camping. Looking to meet a nice WF, 40-60, with whom to share what lovers do. !908620 ME AND MISS LADY SBM, 38, 6’1”, professional cook, likes sports, looking for a lady, 28-42, likes quiet times, walks in the park, family, fun. Does this sound like you? !951742 MUCH TO OFFER SHM, 58, 5’10”, 185lbs, salt-n-pepper hair, retired, Virgo, N/S, loves trailer camping, mountains, beaches. Seeking WF, 48-62, N/S, retired a+. !937107 LOVES TO MAKE YOU LAUGH SBM, 37, 5’8”, slim build, Aquarius, smoker, disc jockey and pest control technician, seeks woman, 25-41, just as a friend. !939056 A LITTLE TLC DWM, 49, 5’11”, 195lbs, homeowner, financially secure, enjoys cooking, home life, motorcycle riding. Looking for attractive WF, 35-50, with similar interests. !938440 TO THE POINT SBM, 20, 5’11”, Libra, smoker, loves hanging out with friends and listening to music.

Seeking a real woman, 20s, free of games. !924941 CULTURED SWM, 31, 5’6”, athletic build, Cancer, N/S, would like to meet an athletic, energetic woman, 21-55, N/S. !926395 YOU NEVER KNOW... where this could lead. SBM, 24, Pisces, smoker, seeks BF, 20-30, for friendship, perhaps casual dating. !926708 PLEASE, PLEASE ME SWM, 32, N/S, N/D, is looking for a woman, 27-35, with a petite build, to share good times, conversations and maybe more. !871092 SEEKING ADVENTURE SWPM, 44, 6’2”, slender, Sagittarius, smoker, loves to travel. Seeking woman, 18-30, slender or average-sized. !910584 I LOVE MY DOG... but I can’t take her to the movies. Puerto Rican SHM, 22, 5’9”, long curly (sometimes braided) hair, smoker, works in collections.

Seeking BF, 18-40, for friendship, possible romance. !914936 LET’S TALK! SBM, 19, 6’, 145lbs, looking for a female, 18-29, who is down-to-earth, knows how to have fun! !900587 TENDER, LOVING CARE SWM, 40, enjoys sports, hanging out and just having fun. Seeking a lady who needs more romance in her life. !895728 GIVE ME A CALL SWM, 40, 5’8”, 185lbs, salt-n-pepper/green, N/S, enjoys fishing, horseback riding, stargazing, martial arts, reading, quiet times home. Seeking that special woman to share life, laughs and maybe love. !834688

INTERESTED? SBF, 35, loves reading (Stephen King and Anne Rice), listening to alternative music, as well as jazz. Seeking a woman with similar tastes. !990549 WHY NOT CALL? SBF, 41, seeks goal-oriented, caring SBF with children ok, for friendship, dating and possible relationship. !976521 1 YOU’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR BiWF, 27, enjoys everything, promises you won’t regret it. If you’re looking for a good time and friendship, I’ll be perfect for you. !830500 SOMETHING SPECIAL DWF, 45, 5’8”, 145lbs, two kids at home, loves heavy metal music. Seeking SWF, 3050, likes being around kids, for possible LTR. !945525 READY TO HAVE FUN! SF, 25, seeks femme, 25-35, race not important, who is nice, pretty, slim. Let’s talk and get to know one another! !895256 GET TO KNOW ME SBF, 25, Taurus, N/S, enjoys movies, travel.

Seeking woman, 21-30, N/S, for friendship, possible romance. !803723 AFRICAN-AMERICAN STUD Open-minded, spontaneous, laid-back SBF, 23, Pisces, N/S, loves R&B and old-school music. Seeking feminine woman, 25-50, race not important, who loves to have fun. !919677

WAITING FOR YOU SBF, 19, is in search of a friend first, maybe more with time, with a lady who likes to get out and have fun. !874312 ONLY A WOMAN WILL KNOW GBF, Capricorn, N/S, likes reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports. Seeking outgoing, caring GWF, 27-52, N/S, with similar interests, for dating and more. !850614 THE SWEETEST THING SBF, 26, 5’8”, 145lbs, wants to get out and have fun with a new friend, maybe more with time. !832018 PLAYS GUITAR, WRITES... poetry, and rollerblades. Native-American/ African-American female, 18, 5’5”, 117lbs, very toned, laid-back, a goofball at times, N/S, seeks woman, 18-29. !818596 BONEVILLE BABE SWF, 31, 5’5”, 130lbs, brown/green, smoker, enjoys playing golf, movies, and picnics at the lake. Seeking WF, 25-40, for friends, possibly more. !818908 A LOT TO OFFER Non-smoking GBF, 37, N/S, seeks very attractive, unique, romantic, fun, intelligent, feminine GF, 27-37, for friendship, dating, possibly more. !749660 JUST THE FACTS SBPF, 41, Libra, N/S, seeks PF, age and race unimportant, who enjoys dining out, quiet times at home, and movies, for LTR. !730225 WHY WAIT? SWF, 38, 5’6”,140lbs, short brown hair, easygoing, enjoys playing golf, the beach.

Seeking feminine female, 20-40, to have fun times and more. !448489

Chemistry 101

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N AT I O N A L H E R I TA G E A R E A

May 1, 2004 Celebrate Springtime along the Augusta Canal Paddle on the water or Pedal along the towpath and Party at the Augusta Canal at Enterprise Mill. Enjoy barbeque from Sconyers and bluegrass from Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold. Plus hop aboard the Canal’s Petersburg tour boats and take a trip through the Interpretive Center. It’s all part of the 17th annual Augusta Canal Cruise and Cookout!

Fun Activities for All Ages: ! New Petersburg tour boats - Boats depart from the docks throughout the afternoon. ! Free Admission to the Augusta Canal Interpretive Center - for all Cruise and Cookout ticket holders.

Check out the great interactive exhibits! ! Canoeing - $40 per person includes canoe, life jacket, security and bus transportation from the Mill to the Headgates and chance to win kayak from A.W.O.L. (Children must be 7 and older and accompanied by a parent.)

New to Canoes?

FREE Lessons AWOL Paddle Days Lake Olmstead April 24

! Bicycling - $20 per person includes mid-ride refreshment station and chance to win a bike from Andy Jordan's. Ride begins and ends at the Enterprise Mill. ! Kayaking - $15 per person. Bring your kayak and follow the canoers to Enterpise Mill. Then join the party! ! Picnic Only - $15 per person. Includes Interpretive Center and Petersburg tour boat ride.

All tickets include refreshments, admission to the barbeque at the Mill, admission to the Augusta Canal Interpretive Center, and a Petersburg boat ride (as space is available). The first 150 people to register to canoe, kayak or cycle receive a free Canal Cruise t-shirt!

Registration Deadline: Thursday April 29th, noon.

Check-in begins at 1 p.m. at the Augusta Canal Headquarters at Enterprise Mill

Aug usta Canal Cruise & Cookout For more details call 706-823-0440 or visit www.AugustaCanal.com

Andy Jordan’s Bicycle Warehouse AWOL-American Wilderness Outfitters Communigraphics Publix and Publix Charities Sconyers Barbeque Taylor Auto Group