Metro Spirit 04.29.2009

April 29 - May 5 Vol. 15 No. 39

Is It Safe?

Augusta’s Independent Voice

Report suggests SRS could contaminate the Savannah River and drinking water in years to come.

page 20

Farmer’s Market Returns page 30

Work Hard, Play Lite!

Augusta’s Listen-at-Work Leader

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METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004

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METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004

Car Show Sponsors: 2KEYS, STANDARD ELECTRONICS OF AUGUSTA, IMMORTAL RODS & CUSTOMS & AUGUSTA CUSTOMS Special Thanks to City of Augusta-Richmond County, C&B Fosters Towing, Wife Saver, E-Z-GO, Augusta Presstech, Harmon Optical, Taco Bell, Smoaks Bakery, Family Eyecare Center, Re-Act of Augusta, Sertoma Club of Augusta, Irish American Heritage Society, Aiken Jaycees and All the Volunteers!

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METRO SPIRIT ON THE COVER 30 20

Downtown Farmers Market Returns for the Summer

By Amy Fennell Christian Photos: Jimmy Carter

Contents

APRIL 29 - MAY 5 • FREE WEEKLY • METROSPIRIT.COM

Is It Safe?

By Brian Neill File Photo: Brian Neill Cover Design: Shawn Sutherland

FEATURES 15 26

Judge Kernaghan’s Backyard Bout By Stacey Eidson Talk to the Animals By Lisa Jordan

OPINION 8 Whine Line 8 This Modern World 8 Words 10 Thumbs Up/Down 12 Insider

46 Washington Weighs In on “Man on Fire” 47 “Mean Girls” Is Long on Story, Short on Laughs 48 Reel Time

BITE 31 In the Mix ARTS 32 Artist Displays Her “Spirit Sisters” at Rabold Gallery 33 “Ramblin’” Rhodes Pens Augusta Entertainment Book 34 “Second Samuel” — Act I Ends in Big Surprise EVENTS 35 Calendar CINEMA 46 Flix

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MUSIC 49 Garden City Music Festival Showcases Best of Downtown 50 Three Days of Music and More at Music Midtown Festival 51 CD Reviews 52 Music by Turner 53 Sightings 54 Music Minis 55 After Dark STUFF 58 News of the Weird 59 Brezsny’s Free Will Astrology 59 New York Times Crossword Puzzle 60 Amy Alkon: Advice Goddess 61 Datemaker 63 Classifieds

EDITOR & PUBLISHER David Vantrease ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Rhonda Jones STAFF WRITERS Stacey Eidson, Brian Neill ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Joe White

PRODUCTION MANAGER Joe Smith

ADVERTISING SALES SUPPORT Riali Blackstock, Michelle Dove

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT INTERN Andy Stokes

GRAPHIC ARTISTS Ange Hagler, Natalie Holle, Shawn Sutherland ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT ASSISTANT Lisa Jordan

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ACCOUNTING MANANGER/CLASSIFIEDS Sharon King SENIOR MUSIC CONTRIBUTOR Ed Turner CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Amy Alkon, Rob Brezsny, Rachel Deahl, David Elliott, Amy Fennell Christian CARTOONISTS Tom Tomorrow

Metro Spirit is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks of the year. Editorial coverage includes arts, local issues, news, entertainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum.

The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publishers. Visit us at www.metrospirit.com. Copyright © Metro Spirit, Inc. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. Phone: (706) 738-1142 Fax: (706) 733-6663 E-mail: spirit@metrospirit.com Letters to the Editor: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, Ga. 30914-3809

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OPINION

Whine Line

A

s a deputy sheriff with the Columbia County Sheriff’s Office, I take offense to being pressured into purchasing barbecue tickets while at work from one of my supervisors. I believe, as do many deputies, that it is wrong for supervisors to be asking us to buy tickets for the sheriff’s barbecue, especially by intimidation while on duty. We have no voice in this type of behavior, but I know that it is just plain wrong.

To the person who complained about local meteorologists, who are you watching?

Maybe you are watching the wrong station.

These men are only men. None of them claim to be God. Try going to school for six years to become a meteorologist, or are you too dumb? Probably too dumb.

I am not from Augusta, but I do live close enough to get The Spirit. It is baffling to read how the people of Augusta whine so much about their city. To be the second largest city in Georgia, Augusta should be proud to still have its Southern charm with a cosmopolitan flair. Atlanta is just too wild and crowded for there to be any type of appreciation for whatever beauty it has left.

So please stop complaining about Augusta and be thankful for what you have: the beauty of the Riverwalk, the prestige of having the Masters, a small-time baseball team where there is free parking and you don’t have to make a 10-mile hike to the stadium and the food is affordable.

I just have a question. If Danny Craig is Catholic, how can he push for the death penalty and still go to church every Sunday?

When Dr. Larke decided to spend educational funds to buy a building on Broad Street and help out the revitalization of downtown, he got almost a decade’s worth of favorable press from Billy Morris. I hate to think what the recent eight-page snow job in the Augusta Magazine might cost taxpayers.

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METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004

Thank goodness the Farmers Market is back on Broad Street! I’ve missed the opportunity

to drive 15 miles round-trip to save four cents on an ear of corn.

Our humans always clean up after us! We have no choice where we go. What about you humans, including parents who let their precious little children use the side of a building as a urinal? We have to walk through this, step over your broken glass and walk through your trash on the street, including the occasional dirty diaper. Ban dogs? Many of you humans should be banned from community activities or gatherings. Now throw me a ball so I can fetch it. Woof, Petey and Dooley!

The state of everything in last week’s Whine Line was pathetic. Yes, the Americans are at war: support it, oppose it or shut up. Don’t waver on whatever side seems good this week. The dogs are downtown. Big deal!

They are supposed to be there, they are generally welcome there and one night I saw a large German Shepherd walk politely into the Metro Coffeehouse and quietly settle himself into a booth to patiently await his people. More than I could say for most humans around here. I have lived in Augusta all my life, pride myself on words like “y’all” but also manage to say “ten” and “pen” and not turn such words into twosyllable monstrosities. It’s not a location thing; it’s an intelligence thing. Dumb people are dumb people whether they are war-mongers, war haters, dog haters or just plain old servers in my local bar and grill.

Here we go. I am a 36-year-old male. I was listening to 95.1 on Wednesday night when I heard a sick stab at President Bush. When did the local radio stations decide they would get into politics? If this is the mindset of 95, consider me gone! This is a free country I know, but many don’t share his views. So don’t jam it down my throat. If 95 wants to be a liberal dog, then state your beliefs on the hour. If not, tell your DJs to keep their opinions to themselves.

Jemani and the fat man is one of the funniest, lamest things I have seen in a while. It’s my understanding the humor aspect of the

Words “Abortion should be rare, but it should be safe and legal — and the government should stay out of the bedrooms of America.”

— Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry, as quoted by Cox News Service’s Washington Bureau, during a recent pro-choice march in Washington, D.C.

“The country should know our men and women are dying out there to help keep the people of the United States safe.”

— Jan Johnson, a mother from Rome, Ga., whose son, Army Spec. Justin Johnson, was killed in Iraq, quoted in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution when asked how she felt about the Bush administration’s decision to block the public release of photos picturing flag-draped coffins.

show is unintentional, though. If you are unlucky enough to be home Saturday nights at midnight, you’ve got to check out what local Augusta talent is all about!

The Richmond County school system was recently awarded the dubious honor of being one of the “neediest systems” in the state. If Dr. Larke and Mechelle Jordan were both fired, their combined salaries could hire one superintendent with integrity who could speak for himself and three or four more quality teachers. That would be a big start on the road to recovery.

You would think in this day and age of frivolous lawsuits that the person complaining about the streets in Augusta such as 13th Street/R.A. Dent Blvd would go out and just sue the city. I know I would if I was driving that route everyday and I had to keep fixing

my alignment because of the city’s poor street maintenance. While we are on the subject of the city’s poor street maintenance, take a look around Augusta. Not just downtown, it’s all over the place. I swear Augusta wouldn’t know a good road if it came up and bit it in the behind.

For the blue-eyed, blonde-haired white person: The world population has been divided since the mid-1960s — three-fifths nonwhite and two-fifths white. So you see, we have been the minority for the last 40 years.

Sorry you hadn’t noticed this before.

This is on Ms. Burke and her recent win. I thought they had the right to assemble, and the right to free speech. Not the right to choose where they assemble and where they speak when it infringes on the rights of others to assemble. continued on page 10

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Szechuan Garden Chinese Restaurant is now open in the former location of the China Garden. Authentic Chinese cuisine, cooked with no MSG, using only vegetable oil, is a healthy treat for lunch or dinner. We have honored the former owners of the China Garden, an Augusta institution for over 30 years, by bringing back their famous Louise’s Special Shrimp using Louise and Perry’s own recipe. Our chef has over 30 years experience and we pride ourselves on using only the freshest, finest ingredients available. We feature a lunch buffet for $4.95, which you are sure to enjoy. For dinner, we offer special dishes a la carte. Stop by today and try our Szechwan, Hunan and Cantonese style cooking. Thank you.

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continued from page 8 Randy Hall is facing a tough candidate because he is a patrician Republican. It goes beyond the flag vote. He tread so lightly as a nominal Republican that he walked right over some of the conservatives in the party.

Refusing to take stands or help real Republicans, he appeared to be but a wisp of smoke that had no substance. He will now face a growing number of conservatives who wished him well against Walker, but will support his opponent.

The Republican Party has already begun to call for party unity, if that is not an oxymoron. The focus will be on Mr. Powell’s Republican defectors, but not on the establishment Democrats who feel kinship with a fellow patrician like Senator Hall who they can do business with. This race will be very much about the working class Demopublicans vs. the establishment Repulicrats. As strange as it may seem, Powell may have the more conservative camp followers.

As we get ready to celebrate Confederate Memorial Holiday, let me remind all you heritage lovers that your “honorable uprising” was an unauthorized rebellion which, if successful, was designed to destroy the greatest country in the world. Now that’s something to be proud of. The only way the South will rise again is if the Yankees continue to take over.

Monday • 7:30pm Channel 4

The Neighborhood Improvement Project the latest in local politics and things to come PLUS A MUSICAL PERFORMANCE FROM

The Candlelight

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METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004

Jazz

SERIES

Call in your questions & comments to 739-1822 or e-mail at connectlive@comcast.net Replays: Daily at 12 Noon, 3pm, and 10:30pm on

Channel 66

A big whine to you ladies out there. You say that you want honesty, but when you get that you drop us like an old shoe. Face it, it’s all about the bling-bling and the ying-yang.

Come on men, who lies more? Men or women? I know who I’m voting for!

To the ethnic person gloating about being the majority in less than 50 years. It’ll probably take you that long to figure out that the government has made whipping boys out of all of us. You need to get a clue!

That was a controversial finish of NASCAR’s Sunday Talladega race. It was more than coincidental that the #25 car spun out, bringing out the caution flag.

Yeah, the #24 of Jeff Gordon was running first with Junior’s #8 closing fast. Both the 24 and 25 cars belong to Hendricks. That caution flag guaranteed a Hendricks win!

Coincidence ... yeah, right!

A whine to the individuals, Democrats or Republicans, who are so wrapped up about 600-plus U.S. casualties in Iraq. I, as a former member of U.S. Air Force from August 1948 to September 1974, deeply regret and pray for each family who has lost a loved one in Iraq or elsewhere, as well as all service members who serve so proudly, and especially for those who have given their all.

Why are these same people not concerned by the loss of 40,000 people yearly in automo-

Thumbs Up Thanks to Lance Armstrong’s recent participation in the Dodge Tour de Georgia, the peach state’s bike race is now an event not to be missed by athletes and fans alike.

Too bad Augusta was left off the list of cities hosting a stage in the race.

With thousands of people following the race through a number of Georgia towns such as Alpharetta, Macon, Rome and Athens, hopefully next year Augusta can secure a place on the map.

Thumbs Down The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported on April 24 that Atlanta Mayor Shirley Franklin’s son-in-law has been indicted in South Carolina on charges of distributing “more than 5 kilograms of powder cocaine and more than 50 grams of crack

bile accidents and the 400,000 deaths yearly by abortion? Wake up, America, and smell the coffee! The 40,000 and 400,000 deaths are senseless expenditures of life, but the 600-plus in Iraq are for a just cause: Freedom for America and the world.

Would someone please send George W. Bush to speech class? His cowboy shoot ‘em up slang is embarrassing. And please, no more

cocaine.” If convicted, Franklin’s sonin-law could face up to 10 years in prison. For a mayor who ran on the campaign promise “You make me mayor, I’ll make you proud,” it appears Franklin’s family is making that a tough promise to keep.

press conferences until he smoothes out his pronunciation style and delivery.

Call our Whine Line at 510-2051 and leave your comments. We won’t use your name. Fax your whines by dialing (706) 733-6663 or e-mail your whines to whine@metrospirit.com.

Attention state HEALTH BENEFIT PLAN employees:

CHOOSE UNIVERSITY. ! 1st Medical Network PPO ! United Healthcare HMO ! Cigna HMO BlueChoice HMO choose a health plan that gives you access to Augusta’S MOST PREFERRED health care provider* – University Hospital.

STATE HEALTH BENEFIT PLAN EMPLOYEES: It’s open enrollment time. Make sure you’re a member of one of the health plans above so you and your family can benefit from the strength of University Hospital: • More than 450 affiliated, independent private physicians • Nearly 6,000 catheterizations and 700 open-heart procedures performed each year – more than all other area hospitals combined • Exclusive partnership with M. D. Anderson Physicians Network® – affiliated with the nation's top rated cancer center according to U.S. News & World Report.

• Over 3,000 babies delivered last year in state-of-the-art birthing rooms • Area’s only Level 3 Neonatal Intensive Care Unit within a comprehensive women’s center • Nearly 70,000 Emergency Department visits last year

For more information or to request your FREE Guide To Selecting a Health Plan, call 706/774-7744.

Choose the 1st Medical Network PPO, United or Cigna option to make sure you have access to University. www.universityhealth.org *National Research Corporation, Consumer Choice Award, 1999-2003

THERE’S STRENGTH IN OUR NUMBERS.

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Maybe both. But if your old, energy-robbing heating and cooling system is causing sky-high bills, you might be nuts not to read this.

Experts predict more increases in energy costs, so now is a great time to get a more efficient system.

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If we want to pay your utility bill, we must know what we’re doing!

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METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004

We can install a new system to squeeze every cent of savings out of your energy bill. To prove it…

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Insider

The Insider Takes a Look at Impending Elections

A

s The Insider predicted last week, District Attorney Danny Craig qualified to run for re-election as a Republican, switching his allegiance from the Democratic to the Republican Party (GOP). Craig had been wooed by local GOP officials for a long time and he finally made the jump. In his wake, he left some hacked-off Democrats who have supported him during his entire political career.

Richmond County Democratic Chairman Lowell Greenbaum sadly accepted the news of Craig’s switch but was apparently caught somewhat off guard by the move.

Insiders report that after a conversation with Craig a few weeks ago, Danny Craig Greenbaum had an understanding that, if Craig faced no Democratic primary election opposition, he would continue to run as a Democrat. Since there was no credible Democratic opponent, local Dems assumed Craig would remain a Democrat. He didn’t. Several local Democratic Party loyalists were hurt more than angered by Craig’s decision.

Within days after the announcement, Democratic Party officials were on the phones attempting to recruit a challenger to Craig. Thus far, there have been no takers.

There likely won’t be any at this late date.

Richmond County Republican Party Chairman Dave Barbee has been after Craig since he ran for re-election four years ago. He finally got his man. Political observers speculate that as a Republican Craig is now a more viable option if a judgeship should come open any time while Republican Governor Sonny Perdue is empowered to make a judicial appointment. Craig submitted his name for consideration when Superior Court Judge Lynn Algood resigned. In the end, Republican Mike Annis was appointed. If an opening comes while a Republican administration is in charge, Craig’s chances are much better as a Republican.

Election Notes • As The Insider predicted last week, former Augusta Commissioner J.B. Powell qualified to run for the District 23 state Senate seat against state Sen. Randy Hall.

This election will be hard fought and, in the end, friendships could be permanently damaged and former political alliances split.

There are strong feelings on both sides of

this race and, while Powell says he will not run a negative campaign, this election battle has the potential to be nasty in the trenches.

Powell and Hall may not take the nastiness public but their minions behind the scenes will. Keep an eye on this race.

• As The Insider goes to press, state Sen. Don Cheeks has just qualified to run in the District 22 state senate election. Rumors were running rampant that Cheeks would ultimately not run in District 22 because Don Cheeks of the uphill battle he faces in the new district in which he finds himself. AfricanAmerican voters dominate the district and the winner of the Democratic primary contest between former state Sen. Charles Walker and local attorney Ed Tarver will have the upper hand in the general election in November. Political observers are currently predicting that Walker will win the primary, resulting in an old-fashioned political slug fest between Walker and Cheeks.

The two can barely tolerate being in the same room so this election will definitely be down and dirty. Some had predicted that Cheeks would not run because of the possibility that he would be defeated. Reliable sources report that Cheeks did everything possible to maintain residency in the 23rd district and run again there, even if it meant facing off with fellow Republican Randy Hall. In the end, it just wouldn’t work.

•At press time, Chief Assistant Solicitor Harold Jones is the only candidate to qualify to run for the Richmond County solicitor job being vacated by Sheryl Jolly who is running for Superior Court judge. Political insiders are attempting to recruit someone to run against Jones so that he won’t get a free ride. Look for a possible last-minute challenger on Friday. It may not happen but if it does it will be at the last possible minute.

As The Insider goes to press, qualifying week is entering its final phase. The political winds are blowing fiercely. We’ll have lots of stuff for you as the primary election season gets into full swing so stay with The Insider from now until the July 20 primary and on into the November general election.

It’s going to be fun.

The views expressed in this column are the views of The Insider and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

An Augusta Original

s s A S

4 May 200

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By Stacey Eidson _ Jean Kernaghan, wife of Judge Herbert Kernaghan Jr., in the couple’s back yard.

W

hen Richmond County Juvenile Court Judge Herbert Kernaghan Jr. used to sit on his backyard deck overlooking Lake Olmstead and watch his wife hard at work in her beloved garden, he felt like he owned a little piece of the Garden of Eden here on Earth.

But ever since the Augusta Utilities Department told him that the city needs to run a 40-foot sewage easement through his back yard, uproot at least four of his enormous trees and remove a densely wooded area next to his property which separates his home from the incessant traffic along Washington Road, Kernaghan can no longer relax and enjoy his tranquil view.

“My daddy bought this lot in January of 1944 for $650,” Kernaghan said, sitting in a wooden rocker in the back yard of his Lakewood Road home. “He sold it in 1948. And me and my wife got it back in 1998.”

“I can remember as a little boy, we used to come out here and have picnics,” Kernaghan added, pausing a moment as he looked out over the lake. “So, it means a lot.”

Jean, his wife, said that family history is what makes the city’s request to use a large section of their back yard so difficult.

“If this property didn’t mean so much to us it would be a lot easier to sell it and let somebody else deal with it,” she said. “But we do care about it and I feel like what the city is planning on doing is going to

damage the value of our property.

“This is really our front yard they’re going to tear up. Anytime you’re on water, your front yard is on the water.”

Judge Kernaghan said the house’s deed even states that the home’s back yard is the front of the property.

To date, the Kernaghans said that the city has offered them $5,900 to develop the sewer easement in their back yard.

“I told Herbert (Kernaghan) the first time we talked with the people from the utilities department that ‘Richmond County doesn’t have enough money to make it worthwhile for me. I’m sorry,’” Jean Kernaghan said, pointing up at her quaint brick home. “We have a two-bedroom, one-bath house. It’s tiny. The only asset is this — the view from our back yard. Nothing can replace that.”

Judge Kernaghan insists that many of his neighbors, including Charles Ballas Sr. and his wife, Penny, are also upset about the city’s proposal.

“It’s like Chuck Ballas told me the other day, if you look at the front of his house, the front looks excellent,” Judge Kernaghan said, pointing to Ballas’ well-maintained property.

“But since all this started with the city, they haven’t done anything in the back yard because no one knows what’s going to happen.”

According to representatives from the utilities department, the city has no choice but to ask the Kernaghans and their neighbors for permission to develop the permanent sewage easement.

The city of Augusta is facing

a consent order with the Georgia Environmental Protection Division to complete an $8 million sewer project in the Rae’s Creek area by September 2005, or face stiff penalties.

“There is an EPD consent order running right along with this project,” Doug Cheek of the Augusta Utilities Department told members of the Augusta Commission on April 20.

“Currently, we are on schedule, but it’s a very tight schedule.”

The April 20 meeting was the second time Judge Kernaghan had been before the Augusta Commission requesting that the city reconsider the location of the sewer line.

On March 8, the commission’s engineering services committee asked the utilities department to negotiate with the Kernaghans and come to an agreement on how their property should be restored after the proposed sewer line is installed.

“Well, we have met several times,” Judge Kernaghan told the commission on April 20,

— Richmond County Juvenile Court Judge Herbert Kernaghan Jr.

continued on page 17 _

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004

“I don’t care where you run the line, as long as you don’t put it in my back yard or front yard.”

“and we are still not happy.”

After learning that the sewer work would take approximately a year to complete and his home would lose the majority of the tree buffer between his property and Washington Road, the judge had only one solution that would completely satisfy him.

“I don’t care where you run the line, as long as you don’t put it in my back yard or front yard,” Judge Kernaghan said, adding that anyone who visited his home would understand why he objects to the easement.

“I would like each of you to come out there and take a look at my back yard,” Kernaghan told the commissioners. “And if you say, in good conscience, you’d be happy, I’ll sit down and shut up.”

Cheek told the commission that he had no idea that the judge still had a

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continued from page 15 problem with the proposed site of the sewer line.

“I really don’t know what to say,” Cheek said. “My understanding was this alignment was understood, we had dealt with the situation and the project was ready to move forward.”

At this time, Cheek said the project would be extremely difficult to halt.

“The plans are finalized,” Cheek said. “There are 18 bidders from all over the Southeast bidding on this project. ... So, I’m at a complete loss as to why there is a discussion now about the route.”

In the March meeting, the judge had requested that the city reroute the sewer line on the other side of Lake Olmstead, but Cheek explained that running the line in that area would impact the residents of at least 20 Country Club Hills condominiums.

“Access to 20 condominiums would be blocked if we had to put this sewer line within the confines of the area on the other side of the (Rae’s) creek,” Cheek said. “And I can assure you that it is going to be 10 percent or more than the projected costs associated with where the alignment is now.”

And while Cheek acknowledged the city could run the line in a number of different locations, the proposed site

was the best location because it impacted the fewest number of residents.

“With all due respect to the judge, and any property owner that we deal with, we never really ask for their

“We’ve basically attempted to run it in the best location that affects the fewest people at the best price.”

Cheek said the city intends to do everything in its power to restore the Kernaghans’ back yard as close as

“We have a two-bedroom, one-bath house. It’s tiny. The only asset is this — the view from our back yard.

Nothing can replace that.”

— Jean Kernaghan concurrence with an alignment,” Cheek said. “We do due diligence on behalf of the city of Augusta and try to pick the best route that’s the most economical with the least disturbance and that’s what we’ve done here.

possible to its current condition.

“It’s a well-maintained yard. A lot of work has gone on in it, you can tell that,” Cheek said. “And our intention is to keep it in that equal-to or better-than condition, whether we pay the property owners and let them

do it themselves to their satisfaction or we do it.

“But there is no way we can restore his property to 99 percent of what he has now, because he’s got trees that are 48 to 54 inches in diameter and you can’t plant a tree back in that easement. So, that can’t happen.”

After hearing Cheek’s comments, Judge Kernaghan told the commission that it was clear the city had already made up its mind.

“What I’m hearing y’all tell me is that it’s a done deal,” Judge Kernaghan said, adding that he felt all of his efforts have been in vain.

“At the last meeting, y’all told me to leave pictures of my yard with (City Attorney) Steve Shepard, and I took them to his office. I would like to know how many commissioners took the time to look at the pictures?”

None of the commissioners raised their hands.

“I dare say I’m fighting my own shadow. Y’all tell me to do one thing, I do it and nobody follows up on it,” Judge Kernaghan said, clearly frustrated. “I’ll be honest with you, I feel like I’m just wasting my time dealing with y’all.”

Since that April 20 meeting, Judge Kernaghan said he still believes his complaints are falling on deaf ears. continued on page 19

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continued from page 17 “I’ll tell you what, that was the biggest waste of time,” Judge Kernaghan said, referring to his meeting with commissioners. “I’ve never heard so much mealy mouth going on.

“And as you know, I invited each commissioner to come out and look at my property. The only one who came was Mrs. (Barbara) Sims. I haven’t seen anyone else out here.”

Judge Kernaghan said he never expected any special treatment from the commission because of his position as judge. He simply asked to be treated with the same respect as any other Richmond County property owner.

“I was not trying to throw my weight around as a judge. I have never done that,” Judge Kernaghan said. “That’s not my nature at all.”

“But anybody that owned this house would be a fool not to say anything,” Jean Kernaghan added.

Despite his objection to the city’s

proposed placement of the sewer line, Judge Kernaghan said he does not intend to take the city to court over the matter.

“You can’t win,” Judge Kernaghan said. “And I wouldn’t do that anyway.”

Jean Kernaghan agreed, saying that it unfortunately appears they are fighting a losing battle.

“If we tried to fight it, the city would just file a condemnation order to take the property,” she said, shaking her head. “It’s going to be very hard. The only thing they can tell me is the sewer work is going to take about a year.

“So, for a year, I will probably have a work crew in my back yard.”

For a woman who spends at least three hours a day tending to the plants on her property, a year is a lifetime.

“I can’t work down here with guys all in my yard,” Jean Kernaghan said.

“I’m sorry, I just can’t. So, for me, there really is no best-case scenario.”

The Kernaghans on their backyard deck.

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Is It Safe?

File Photo

By Brian Neill

Surface of underground waste storage tank.

Report suggests SRS could contaminate the Savannah River and drinking water in years to come. yes — if, that is, the former nuclear weapons site continues with its current methods for disposing of leftover arms production waste.

“Essentially, the Department (of Energy) is treating residual waste in the tanks as low-level waste and pouring cement in them, and it’s on the road to essentially leaving a huge amount of radioactivity in the watershed of the Savannah River — very long-lived radioactivity, lots of plutonium, lots of cesium, quite a bit of strontium. And I think this is a very risky thing,” said Makhijani, president of a Maryland-based nuclear watchdog agency called The Institute for Energy and Environmental Research, during a phone interview.

“And if the department goes ahead with its plans to do this, I think that the river will be at risk.”

However, J. Malvyn “Mal” McKibben, executive director of Aiken-based Citizens for Nuclear Technology Awareness, has a different take.

“Yes I read it (the report), and I threw up,” McKibben joked.

“Arjun is a very smart, welleducated, Ph.D. physicist who has

made a very good career out of being a professional anti-nuke,” McKibben added. “He does a lot of work for an alliance of anti-nuke organizations.”

“There’s very little in it (Makhijani’s report) that is factually incorrect. What is wrong with it is it tries to inflame the fears and passions of people about things nuclear, far, far beyond what is reasonable or factual.”

A chemist, McKibben spent nearly 45 years working at the site, first for DuPont and then for Westinghouse.

He also was the project manager for SRS’s much-touted Defense Waste Processing Facility, where large, steel canisters are filled with molten glass and nuclear waste — a process called “vitrification” — for future disposal deep underground.

Both McKibben and DOE officials acknowledge that much of the information contained in Makhijani’s report comes from data contained in SRS’s own Environmental Impact Statements — dizzyingly detailed reports on site contamination and cleanup efforts released each year to the public.

But they don’t agree on the context in which the information was presented.

“I think in general, their report is based on previously published information and in our view, relies on a lot of speculation and opinion and doesn’t really maintain a distinction between what is published information, what is speculation and what is opinion,” said Rick Ford, a DOE spokesman at SRS. “So it makes it kind of difficult for the average reader to pick out fact from opinion.”

Among the claims outlined in the report: • Past dumping of solid and liquid waste at the site has “severely contaminated” soil and groundwater in operating areas of SRS. The contaminated groundwater outcrops into local streams like Four Mile Creek before migrating to the Savannah River. That could pose a contamination threat for decades from tritium, volatile organic compounds, strontium-90, mercury, cadmium and lead. Potential threats lasting for “millennia, far beyond

20

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004

M

illions of gallons of the most radioactive substances known to humankind sit in large, underground storage tanks at the Savannah River Site, in close proximity to groundwater, streams and the river itself.

Much of that waste is contained in million-gallon, carbon-steel containers that Department of Energy officials readily acknowledge will gradually begin to corrode and leak.

That means there is the potential that some particularly nasty compounds — plutonium-239, neptunium-237 and various uranium isotopes among them — could one day leach into water sources on the 310-square-mile site and wend their way into the Savannah River and people’s drinking water.

Will it happen?

It depends on who you ask and, to some extent, who you believe.

Arjun Makhijani, Ph.D., co-author of a recent study examining the potential for radiological contamination of the river and water sources

by SRS, says the answer is a definite

continued on page 23 _

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continued from page 20

• Samples from municipal drinking water systems in the immediate vicinity and downriver from Augusta have repeatedly been shown to contain varying amounts of the radioactive isotope, tritium, though well below safe-drinking standards set by the Environmental Protection Agency. However, the report argues that those standards are perhaps too lenient to protect children and developing fetuses.

• Although DOE officials downplay the impact of tritium at current levels in water systems — noting its short “half-life” of 12.5 years (compared with 24,000 years for plutonium-239) and the propensity for its hydrogen atoms to be flushed through humans’ bodies quickly — Makhijani’s report states that tritiated water can become organically bound to amino acids, protein and DNA in the body, creating the potential for health problems and cancer risks.

Tritium buildups in aquatic life also could pose risks to people who eat a steady diet of fish caught from the river.

considers to be people’s misconceptions about radiation.

Two framed photos on the wall — one depicting the eerie, bluish glow of a reactor pool, another showing a fiery hot pellet of plutonium-238 oxide — provide an odd juxtaposition to a perky, crimson cardinal pecking at a bird feeder and the sunlight at play on the leaves of several large magnolia trees outside.

It seems an apt contrast for this discussion about nature versus man’s manipulation of nature and the potential ramifications of millions of gallons of radioactive waste at SRS and other sites throughout the nation.

McKibben says there’s nothing particularly new in Makhijani’s report and nothing that merits extreme concern.

He feels that certain environmentalists, whom he

“Radioactivity is not something a bogeyman made to be scaring people.

It’s all around us. You’d get more on a flight from here to Denver than you’d get working for a year at Savannah River Site.”

It seems a testament to such statements that McKibben is still here and apparently healthy.

McKibben worked at SRS during a time when the weapons reactors were in operation and worker safety standards weren’t nearly as stringent as they are today. It was a time when, if a particular piece of equipment got too radioactively

“There's very little in it (Makhijani's report) that is factually incorrect. What is wrong with it is it tries to inflame the fears and passions of people about things nuclear, far, far beyond what is reasonable or factual.”

RADIATION IS OUR FRIEND Sitting in the Citizens for Nuclear Technology Awareness offices atop a jewelry store off Aiken’s Whiskey Road, McKibben talks about what he

"Mal" McKibben, executive director of Citizens for Nuclear Technology Awareness refers to as “anti-nukes,” continually twist the truth about radiation and calls the belief that anything radioactive or nuclear is bad a “modern superstition.”

“Radioactivity is as common as the sun. Literally, the sun is a nuclear reactor,” McKibben says. “If you sleep with a woman, or a man, for that matter, you get more radiation sleeping next to that person than you would working at the Savannah River Site. If I stuck a good Geiger counter down in this cup of coffee, it would go: ‘Clack-clack-clack-clack-clack.’

Why? Because potassium-40 is in here. It’s radioactive. It’s a naturally occurring radioactive isotope.

Mal McKibben

“hot,” workers would merely bury it and dig it up for reuse several years later after it had cooled down, according to various documented accounts.

For years, McKibben worked in an on-site laboratory around some of the worst of the worst in terms of radioactive compounds.

“I’ve handled, literally, small containers of high-level sludge in my laboratory when I used to work out there,” McKibben says. “I would have it in tongs, but I had it three feet away. And I didn’t get a dose beyond any (safe) limits.”

He even suggests one could have a brief encounter with the most highly radioactive sludge culled from the bottom of SRS’s waste tanks and come out unscathed.

“CLEAN” IS RELATIVE McKibben acknowledges that when he speaks for CNTA, he is also speaking for contractors and overseers of SRS, many of whom are members.

For certain, CNTA’s overall stance is pro-SRS and pro-nuclear.

But that doesn’t mean the group hasn’t gone against prevailing wisdom at the site in the past.

In fact, McKibben says, a couple of years ago when he first saw DOE’s continued on page 24__

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004

• DOE’s plans to use concrete to grout in place residual, radioactive sludge — J. Malvyn “heels” at the Aiken-based bottoms of the remaining 49 waste tanks awaiting closure will leave far too much radiation on site.

Currently, those plans are on hold following a federal judge’s ruling in Idaho last year.

“In effect,” the report states, “DOE’s policy of high-level waste tank closure would turn the Savannah River Site into a vast, shallow, highlevel nuclear waste dump in the watershed of the Savannah River.”

“You don’t want to get it on you.

I’m not saying that’s safe,” McKibben says. “But I’m saying that’s not likely to kill you. You’d have to get a large dose to kill you.”

As for Makhijani’s claim that the EPA standard for safe drinking water levels for tritium — 20,000 picocuries — is perhaps too low, McKibben says he’d chug several liters a day of water containing that amount of the radioactive isotope without concern.

McKibben believes the anti-nukes, as he calls them, merely make a living off exaggerating such threats.

“And amazingly, there are a large number of those people and they manage to get an awful lot of money out of foundations, who think they’re doing good by supporting those people, but they’re not,” McKibben says.

“These guys are not honest. Even Arjun Makhijani is not honest.”

But Makhijani maintains his report was not intended to scare people, only to make them aware of potential dangers and give current contamination standards more scrutiny.

“It doesn’t mean that people are going to be getting cancer in large numbers or anything like that, so I’m not raising any immediate alarms,” Makhijani said. “The thing that I’m raising alarms about is not the current pollution in the river, but what the Department of Energy is doing on the site that may result in irretrievable damage to the river in the future, where it could get so polluted that it would not meet today’s drinking standards, much less any tightened standards.”

Photo by Brian Neill

any hope of physical or institutional control” also exist for iodine-129, technetium-99, neptunium-237, plutonium-239 and various uranium isotopes entering water systems.

23

continued from page 23

24

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004

“In effect, DOE's policy of high-level waste tank closure would turn the Savannah River Site into a vast, shallow, high-level nuclear waste dump in the watershed of the Savannah River.”

Courtesy IEER

File Photo

proposal for grouting in place the trying to cheat on its obligations to obviously if they’re (waste heels) up the tanks themselves for underwaste inside the tanks, he was clean up leftover waste from the Cold cemented in place in these steel ground burial. skeptical and asked questions.

War, Ford, of DOE, said waste tanks, I would venture to say, even in “So we’re talking billions upon “I was concerned that they may not disposal plans at SRS have always an earthquake it wouldn’t be enough billions of dollars and additional have proved at that point that the called for leaving some waste behind to break that huge bulk and huge decades to clean up if we are held to sludge left in the tank would in fact in the tanks. mass because the whole tank would that standard as proposed in that be incorporated in the groutFord said SRS’s decision to increase be grouted in,” Ford said. “I mean it’s lawsuit,” Ford said. concrete, that the concrete might just the amount of waste left behind in the not like just a little covering put over But Makhijani thinks that going rest on top of it, which would not be tanks had to do with worker safety that heel, but it’s the entire tank that about the job thoroughly, and in the good,” McKibben says. “Because and decreasing expenses. would be filled with grout. manner he feels is proper, would sooner or later that carbon-steel tank “What is a little bit different (in the “I would think it would become solve two problems — one economic is going to corrode away and if revised plan) is the quantity of that almost geological time we’d be and the other environmental. you’ve got waste at the bottom of the waste that we might propose to leave talking about. Certainly hundreds According to Makhijani’s calculatank that is not incorporated in the — to grout in place, if you will — upon hundreds of years.” tions, under DOE’s plans put on hold grout, it could conceivably make it to by the federal public waters in 100 years, 200 judge, a total of years, 300 years, whatever.”

24 million curies Apparently, a federal judge also had would still be some concerns. left on site at In July of last year, U.S. District SRS after Judge B. Lynn Winmill of Idaho ruled cleanup. that SRS and other DOE waste Only a fraction processing facilities in the country of a curie had to halt cleanup efforts until a ingested in the better plan was drafted. body is deadly, Winmill’s ruling was in response to he said. an earlier suit brought by two Makhijani said environmental groups — the Natural he believes DOE Resources Defense Council and the only thinks in Snake River Alliance — as well as terms of “shiny two Native American tribes, all of new” projects whom claimed DOE was attempting like a pending to walk away from its mess by reclasfacility to create sifying about 85 million gallons of Mixed-Oxide highly radioactive material (MOX) fuel for throughout the country as low-level commercial waste, thereby reactors and a exempting it potential Modern from removal.

Pit Facility, Currently, where plutonium about 34 pits from million gallons existing nuclear of high-level weapons would waste resides be recycled and in the 49 returned to remaining missiles. tanks at SRS. Instead, Left: SRS worker next to vitrification canister.

Two of the Makhijani Right: Arjun Makhijani original 51 suggests, SRS tanks already should view are closed.

Ford said the vitrificacleanup as a project in and of itself.

— excerpt from report co-authored by Arjun Makhijani, Originally, tion process still “I think, unfortunately, people’s the waste from continues at SRS and a livelihoods and their ability to feed resident of The Institute for Energy and Environmental the 49 tanks total of 1,594 canisters their kids and have a job that pays Research was to be have been filled with the decently has gotten tied up with this entirely molten glass-waste DOE culture of more and more converted to mixture, representing plutonium, and plutonium jobs and glass logs in the vitrification process, that’s really technically difficult, more than 6.5 million curies of related jobs,” Makhijani said. “I then encased in stainless steel expensive and increases the risk to radioactive material. Those canisters think actually jobs out there could canisters and placed in on-site, under- the workers doing the work to await transfer to the Yucca Mountain last for a very long time if they ground repositories to await remove,” Ford said. “In the case of repository, scheduled to open in 2010 approach cleanup in a scientifically permanent burial beneath Nevada’s one of the tanks that we had on (though that, too, is on hold in the high-tech way.

Yucca Mountain. schedule to close, the material at the courts). Current plans are for SRS to “But they’ve always seen cleanup Makhijani and other environmental bottom of the tank that would be left fill about 6,000 such canisters at a as a bothersome (task) like dishgroups have supported vitrification behind — and this is measured out of rate of about 24 hours per canister. washing after a wonderful banquet. as the safest way to dispose of a million gallons that the tank might Ford suggested some environmental- So you have this plutonium banquet some of these materials whose half- hold — this is 20,000 gallons or less ists have an unrealistic expectation and you’ve got all this mess, so it’s lives extend far beyond countless, equivalent. But it’s kind of in a solid that SRS will be 100 percent “clean” a bother.” future generations. kind of form. It’s almost like a after the waste is processed, noting But DOE decided to embark on a concrete itself.” that the judge’s ruling didn’t give any WHO’LL BE LOOKING OUT FOR US? more aggressive plan to dispose of Ford maintains that if that remaining specific, acceptable amount of waste the waste, shortening the cleanup waste was mixed with concrete grout, that could be left in place.

One of the main issues at hand, period by 20 years and saving billions it would remain in place for centuries.

In order to follow the letter of the Makhijani suggests, is who will be of dollars by leaving behind more of “I think all we really take credit for law, Ford said, SRS would have to responsible for monitoring and the materials in the tanks. in our (Environmental Impact construct additional waste processing reporting potential contamination in Though critics have painted DOE as Statements) is 100 years, but facilities and even resort to cutting groundwater and the Savannah River.

That issue stems from the fact that the Georgia Environmental Protection Division recently lost federal grant funding from DOE to monitor groundwater for radiation, an arrangement that resulted several years ago after tritium was discovered in monitoring wells in Burke County.

Officials with EPD have been vocally critical in the past about DOE’s plans to grout in place its tank waste.

Jim Hardeman Jr., who works in EPD’s environmental radiation program, told the Savannah Morning News in March, “To be blunt, we don’t think they really know what they have in those tanks.”

Called for comment at EPD, Hardeman relayed a message through an assistant that he could no longer speak to the media.

Ford, of DOE, said that his agency had restored funding to EPD’s monitoring program in the amount of $300,000 to carry it through to the end of this year. From there, Ford said, it is expected that EPD would work on grant proposals for future funding sources.

The DOE official also suggested that it was, in fact, EPD that had dropped the ball.

“At the end of that grant,” Ford said,

“typically what grantees might do is submit a new grant proposal saying, ‘Gee, we think we need to continue this and these are the things we’d like to do. Can you help us?’, as opposed to allowing the grant to lapse and then saying that we killed their grant, which is not the case at all.”

Kevin Chambers, an EPD spokesman, said he was unaware that DOE had restored funding to the agency for groundwater monitoring.

He said the matter was still under negotiation and he would update the Metro Spirit on the situation before presstime. Chambers didn’t do so, nor did he immediately return a phone call seeking an update.

Regardless of the status, Makhijani said he feels DOE can’t be trusted to police itself, citing a substantial tritium release back in 1991 from a cooling system at the K Reactor that exceeded safe drinking water limits for several days.

Various accounts, including those from DOE, acknowledge the incident was mishandled and poorly reported.

Makhijani said it is imperative that SRS be subjected to environmental monitoring by a third party.

“DOE’s responsible for policing itself. So it’s not unique in that any agency responsible for policing itself is eventually going to become

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quite lax,” Makhijani said.

“Although the DOE, I think, and its predecessor institutions have always been quite lax.”

Since the federal judge’s ruling in Idaho, McKibben said that Westinghouse, SRS’s main contractor, has already revised its waste plan to reduce even further the amount of radioactive materials left on site.

Ford acknowledged that such a plan had been drafted, but said DOE had not yet fully reviewed it.

He felt it also was inappropriate to comment on it while the matter was still in legal limbo.

Ford also acknowledged that DOE may seek legislative relief from the judge’s ruling, a move environmentalists have seen as an attempt to sidestep the law.

Adding merit to that claim was news earlier this month that DOE was withholding $350 million in waste disposal funding unless Congress and state officials accepted the plan that the federal judge rejected.

“I will not allow DOE to hold this work hostage, or to hold this budget hostage,” U.S. Senator Larry Craig (R-Idaho) told DOE officials earlier this month, according to the Associated Press.

But McKibben said threats posed by

DOE’s former plan were overblown, and tying the issue up in the courts during the appeal process will cost taxpayers more money and threaten future missions at SRS. “It’s really sad to me that, if we go the legislative route with the new reduced, safer processes that they have worked on and are proposing, it will look like to everybody that you’re trying to circumvent the law,” McKibben said. “And that’s really sad, because you’re really not. I believe that the current proposals that they have meet the requirements of the Nuclear Waste Policy Act.” “We don’t want any plutonium, or americium, or neptunium, or uranium or technicium, making it into anyone’s drinking water,” McKibben added. “So really, the safeguards that are taken and required by DOE are to prevent that from happening … so I’m comfortable with that.”

Makhijani, however, is not so comfortable.

“I think people need to be vigilant and hold the DOE to account to actually take the waste out of the tanks and stop threatening the water in the river,” Makhijani said.

“Damage to the river would be incalculable if they left a lot of waste in the watershed.”

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Photo by Lisa Jordan

Talk to the Animals

By Lisa Jordan

or da n

very spoiled — and he knows it.” She then described his elation at jumping up on the furniture, his food dishes and his favorite toys.

“You also thank them when you’re done,” Wolfe says. “Talking with animals is very respectful.”

Wolfe says her skills aren’t limited to canines, although she does say it’s easier for her to communicate with dogs than any other animals. She’s conversed with animals a little less ordinary — such as those she --

the yard behind us.

Sebastian, on the other hand, jumped right in with Wolfe, who immediately said, “He’s

Li sa J

Jo rda n

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004

of respect. Normally, they say yes. I just ask them questions. Sometimes they show me pictures. Sometimes it’s just communication. It really is up to them.”

Apparently, Marilyn was shy at first, but opened up to give Wolfe her thoughts on life in the backyard. She showed Wolfe our green grass (and here I have to admit that, while green, half of the yard is one giant network of weeds), the cats across the street and the outdoor noises of children playing in

oto Ph

---

by

once encountered in a traveling exhibit.

“I communicated with the camel. A lot of animals will just come

26

Americans treat their pets like family.

According to a recent survey by the

American Pet Products Manufacturers Association (APPMA), 62 percent of U.S. households own a pet — and pet owners spent an estimated $31 billion on pet food, care and supplies throughout 2003. With owners spending money on everything from pet yoga to doggie massages to Bow Lingual, the dog bark translator, people are looking to connect with their companions on a deeper, more human level. And that includes wondering what they have to say.

So what are people dying to know about their furry friends?

“A lot of times, they just want to know if they’re happy,” says Wolfe. “Or if there’s anything they can do to make them happier, if they’re lonely, any ailments.

Most of the time, it’s just how they’re feeling.”

Wolfe conducts readings either in person or via a photograph. The readings she gave me for Marilyn and for Sebastian, my Yorkshire terrier, were conducted with photographs. by oto h “Usually, what I do is P I center myself,” Wolfe says. “If I know the animal’s name, I say it three times and ask permission to speak with them. It’s a lot Li sa

M

arilyn Manson likes to romp outside, loves the spotlight and, if given the opportunity, would love to play with children.

Fortunately — or unfortunately, depending on your perspective — we’re not talking about the shock rocker. This Marilyn Manson is a Labrador retriever. And the woman telling me about my dog’s disposition is Kim Wolfe, a local animal communicator. Wolfe claims to have the rare ability to converse telepathically with our animal friends.

It shouldn’t be surprising that pet owners are interested in knowing what their pets might be thinking; after all, it’s no secret that

continued on page 28

Augusta’s choice for cancer care.

2001 Preferred hospital for cancer treatment* 2002 Preferred hospital for cancer treatment* 2003 Preferred hospital for cancer treatment*

For the third consecutive year, MCG was chosen by consumers as the preferred hospital for cancer treatment in the annual survey conducted by National Research Corporation.

As the region’s only academic medical center, MCG Medical Center and MCG Children’s Medical Center offer the most comprehensive cancer care in the area. We are nationally recognized for cancer research and innovative diagnostic and treatment procedures. And we are committed to providing community-based health education and prevention programs that improve the lives of children and adults.

Thank you, Augusta, for recognizing MCG as your choice for the best cancer care in the region.

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METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004

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continued from page 26

to you,” she explains. “The camel was hilarious. The tiger, the white tiger, he was really nice. He liked people, but he was scared of them. They have their own personalities. Some of them have their own distinct voices. The camel, he had a very distinct voice.”

While some people have expressed skepticism at Wolfe’s gift, others have likened her to a real-life Doctor Doolittle. Wolfe, however, doesn’t waste her time with naysayers.

“I just kind of drop it because I’ve done readings for people and they didn’t believe what I was saying and I got sick because of all the negative energy,” she says. “You’re swapping energy, and it’s not worth the (negative) energy.”

Wolfe says her talent runs in the family. Her aunt is also an animal communicator who conducts seminars for those who want to tap into their animal communication skills.

“I went to one of her seminars. I guess I actually got more focused,” Wolfe says. “I’ve actually had it all my life, communicating with animals, but I just didn’t know that I was doing it.”

On the Web, countless people advertise pet psychic readings, and many of them

claim to specialize in the area of finding lost companions. That’s one thing Wolfe doesn’t enjoy doing, namely because so few lost pet stories have happy endings.

“It’s a personal preference,” she says.

“I don’t like delivering bad news.”

Wolfe herself has six dogs: five American bulldogs and a Rottweiler/chow mix. One of them, she says, is even a pet from her childhood, reincarnated.

“It’s a really strong bond. Shiva is one of my childhood companions.

Reincarnation, that’s what animals do,” says Wolfe. “They’ve reincarnated themselves into that companion. The one you pick is the one you’re meant to have.”

Along the way, naturally, Wolfe has picked up a few lessons from her animal friends. “I guess I’ve gotten closer with animals,” she says. “It’s been nice to find out what they’re thinking. It’s nice to have someone to talk with.

“They like humans. They like companionship. It’s like a relationship — it’s give and take. Animals are here like humans; they have to learn something.

An animal passes away and they just go on to another life. Humans are what keep them here.”

“Animals are here like humans; they have to learn something.”

— Kim Wolfe, animal communicator

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BITE Downtown Farmers Market Returns for the Summer

S

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METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004

Photos by Jimmy Carter

pring and summer in the South, and especially in Georgia, mean only one thing to many people — fresh produce. With the profusion of corn, tomatoes, beans and berries (among others) that coincides with the warming weather, it seems a shame to even contemplate stepping foot into a grocery store.

Starting this Saturday, you don’t have to.

The popular downtown farmers market, started last year by Main Street Augusta, Inc., is returning, albeit with a few changes. The most notable is the change in location from the old train depot to a more central location on Macartan Street (next to Health Central) between Broad and Reynolds.

“The location was changed to Macartan Street to move the event back into the main retail section of Broad Street,” said Main Street Executive Director Chris Naylor. “The old depot was a great location; however, it was too removed from the retail section.”

Gone will be the big white tent under which all the vendors set up shop last year. Instead, each will have their own tents and the booths will be set up in the street, which will be blocked off for each Saturday’s event. This, Naylor said, will give the event more of a European feel, as well as mirror the other market — Charleston’s — that Augusta’s is being modeled after.

The hours, Naylor said, are also being increased in response to requests from both vendors and patrons, who felt last year’s cut-off at 1 p.m. didn’t give shoppers enough time. This year, the market will be open each Saturday (through Sept. 25) from 8 a.m.-2 p.m.

Like last summer’s Saturday markets, this year’s will

By Amy Fennell Christian

offer a variety of items. Fresh produce will be the primary draw, but plants, baked goods and even locally made crafts will make an appearance. According to market coordinator Natalie Herrington, response from vendors has been fantastic.

“I am overwhelmed,” Herrington said. “We have 22 vendors signed up and I have a stack of mail waiting for me on my desk and I just know that a lot of it is more applications.”

The market will continue to accept applications throughout the summer and vendors can sign up for individual Saturdays.

Preference will be given to farmers and growers in the CSRA, and hand-made crafts will be considered by a juried committee. For more information, call the market office at 722-7245.

As for the rest of us, give the grocery store a rest and head downtown.

Main Street Augusta’s Farmers Market 2004 Where: Macartan Street between Broad and Reynolds.

When: Each Saturday between May 1 and Sept. 25 from 8 a.m.-2 p.m.

What you’ll find: Fresh produce, hot sauce, pottery, baked goods and orchids are just a few of the items vendors will be selling.

And the food’s pretty good, too!

Sure, you go to a restaurant for the delectable food and a bar for a cold beverage. But have you ever excused yourself from the table, walked into an establishment’s bathroom and been wowed by this often-neglected room’s décor?

Well, now’s your chance to nominate these luxurious lavatories for an upcoming

“Bite” feature. Simply e-mail your nominee to bite@metrospirit.com or fax it to (706) 733-6663. Include a brief description and reasons why your nominee merits consideration and we’ll make an unannounced visit to see if you’re right. Who knows? Maybe you’ll see a picture of your nominee in an upcoming issue.

in the mix If you lived in Augusta in the ‘90s, you probably know Todd “From Wisconsin” Friedel. The former owner of Squeaky’s Tip-Top (from 1994-1997) moved back to Augusta three months ago after a seven-year stay in Ohio. Todd loves to reminisce about the Augusta music scene of 10 years ago and antics that happened at Squeaky’s (playing golf and kick the can on Central Avenue during late nights stand out), but we wanted to ask him some really important questions.

At family gatherings, do you sit at the adults’ table or the kids’?

The kids’ table. I think I prefer to be there.

First famous person you had a crush on Judy Jetson. I think I was four or five.

Photo by Joe White

Biggest vice Bombay Sapphire gin.

Three words that describe you Silly, funny and hard-working.

Todd Friedel

Who has the better Comedy Central show — Dave Attell or Dave Chappelle?

Dave Chappelle. Rick James puts him over the top.

Last three credit card purchases A DVD player, a mountain bike and black pants.

What one superhero power would you like to have?

To be able to wear a cape and not have people make fun of me. That’s not really a power, but who else can get away with wearing a cape?

Never again will you …

Own my own business.

How much money would it take to make you happy?

Six dollars and 23 cents. I don’t know why I said that, but it doesn’t take much.

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ART S Artist Displays Her “Spirit Sisters” at Rabold Gallery

H

arriet Marshall Goode paints women, but the subjects of her work do not represent the actual people in her life, she said.

Nor are they intended as self portraits. They’re somewhere in between.

“Most of them are somewhat autobiographical, but I call them my ‘spirit sisters.’ And you know, some of them might be black; some of them might be Chinese. In my soul, in my inner being, I have a lot of sisters.

“They might be inspired by other women but they’re not meant to represent actual people at all. I have a house full of sisters, myself. I grew up with sisters.”

She said those flesh-and-blood sisters chide her in an effort to find out which ones she is representing in a particular painting.

“I’m very quick to say, it’s not one of them but it’s all of them.

“I just want people to understand I’m not making portraits of people; I’m painting my soul.

“You know, I like to think of my paintings as visual poetry.”

I asked why she does it. She repeated the question with obvious incredulity.

“Why do I do it? Gosh, I can’t imagine not doing it. I can’t imagine my life without painting or drawing, and I get real, real grumpy if I go a while without being involved in my art.”

Asked what inspires her most, she said a mood could inspire her as much as anything else. She said it became clear she was painting from her own palette of emotions when she realized she was painting about the death of a close friend that had occurred 20 years before.

Because her painting and her emotional life are

so entwined, I asked just how long she’d been painting. “All my life,” she said.

“I cannot remember a day from my childhood when I did not draw and paint. And I was very lucky — my parents encouraged me. They didn’t perceive my art as silly, or as something that wouldn’t go anywhere. By the same token, they didn’t perceive it as something I could support myself with either.

“A lot of girls in the ‘50s were not raised with the idea that one day they would have to support themselves. But I did — I supported myself. I taught art…”

In addition to that, she worked at the Gibbs Museum in Charleston, S.C., and did “a lot” of freelance artwork.

I was intrigued with Goode’s reported reluctance to discuss her own interpretations of her work. She said she simply doesn’t want to inhibit the viewer’s imagination. “I think these (paintings) serve as a vehicle to make someone else become more creative in their own thinking,” she said.

And there are all sorts of symbols to work with.

“I’ve got some paintings with chairs floating around,” she said, adding that she considers the floating chairs a metaphor for moving.

“Those have personal meanings for me,” she said. “But because of the titles of some of the paintings … I think that other people can write their own stories.”

“The Nest Builder” and “Almost Last Chance” are two of the flying-chair paintings. But one of her more compelling titles is of the painting of a woman sitting in a cluster of standing women. It is called “She Stashed her Pain in Small Places.”

By Rhonda Jones

“A SHIFT IN THE PLAN,” OIL PAINTING BY HARRIET MARSHALL GOODE Exhibit: Personal History Box Artist: Harriet Marshall Goode Venue: Rabold Gallery

Dates: Through May 29 For Info: (803) 641-4405

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METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004

What does it take to build a world-class heart center?

arts

“Ramblin’” Rhodes Pens Augusta Entertainment Book

D

on Rhodes, who has been “ramblin’” all over Augusta for decades in search of music stories, has just released his second book: “Entertainment in Augusta and the CSRA.” It has been published by Arcadia Publishing and has a foreward by country music star Brenda Lee, who once upon a time lived just off Gordon Highway.

Twenty years ago, he said over coffee at the Metro Coffeehouse downtown, he put out a book of his “Ramblin’ Rhodes” columns. He laughed about the number of years between the two books.

“At that rate, I’m not going to be too prolific a writer, as far as books go,” he said.

“Entertainment in Augusta and the CSRA” is a fun little yearbook-style collection of photographs and captions, featuring such celebrities as Terry Gene Bollea, who was born at St. Joseph Hospital on Aug. 11, 1953 and later became Hulk Hogan.

Rhodes divulged how he found out that young Hogan had lived with his parents, Peter and Ruth Bollea, at Pecan Grove trailer court in Aiken, S.C. and played at Augusta’s Whippin’ Post nightclub in 1975 as the bassist for a band called Rukkus: He got in

touch with the Hulkster’s mom.

“She’s the one who told me about the trailer park in Aiken. She told me he called himself a Georgia Peach.

“I remember the first time I found out Hulk Hogan was from Augusta. It knocked me out.”

So when it comes right down to it, what is the significance of Rhodes’ book?

“The biggest thing — it validates what I’ve said all along: Augustans are interested in their history,” Rhodes said.

“One of the reasons I did this book was to shine some light on the wonderful entertainers who come from Augusta.”

People like Laurence Fishburne, Jessye Norman, James Brown, Butterfly McQueen and Amy Grant.

Perhaps the book will also serve to show people just how much does go on in Augusta, in spite of what anyone says. I asked Rhodes what he thinks about the “nuthin’ to do in Augusta” brigade.

“That is so stupid,” he said.

“Anybody who says there’s nothing to do in Augusta — where are you looking, the phone book? … What exactly is it you want to do?

“I just want to shake people and say what are you reading, or what are you

By Rhonda Jones

not reading?”

Of course, Rhodes agrees, Augusta doesn’t get as many of the big-name performers as Atlanta, but he doesn’t think that a bigger name necessarily means a better time. The older he gets, he says, the more he craves a more “personal” type of entertainment — the smaller venues.

He compares going to a small venue to see a show to experiences he had in high school and college when friends who were musicians would play for him.

“The entertainer is so much more appreciative of your being there,” he said. “It’s getting less and less fun to go to a big show. They don’t know if you’re there; they don’t care if you’re there. They do their show, take your money and run.”

— Book Signing — Author: Don “Ramblin’” Rhodes Title: “Entertainment in Augusta and the CSRA” Venue: Augusta Museum of History Date: May 6, 5-7 p.m.

Publisher: Arcadia Publishing Purchase: Augusta Museum of History, Borders Books & Music, Fat Man’s Forest, Merry Times in Surrey Center.

Event Info: (706) 722-8454

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“Second Samuel” — Act I Ends in Big Surprise

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METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004

Ashley Willis (706) 210-0170

By Rhonda Jones

T

Having

problems in your

relationship?

You are not alone.

he Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre is preparing a show that, most likely, you have never seen. It is called, simply, “Second Samuel.” Though many people want to draw a biblical reference from the title, Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre director Steve Walpert said that the play is simply named after a town that Sherman burned. The town was originally called Samuel.

After the citizens rebuilt it, the town was then called Second Samuel.

“Some people may draw some biblical reference to the story,” Walpert said. “But mainly it’s just the Sherman thing.”

Now, the play has a big surprise in it for the townsfolk and the audience alike. Walpert did say what it was, but he did so off-the-record. On record, he preferred to tease: “There is a big surprise at the end of Act I that really sets the townspeople a-buzz, but if I told you, it would spoil the secret!”

I think I can tell you, however, that Walpert said it has to do with what they find out about the grand dame of the town after she dies. It’s terribly scandalous, and very entertaining.

“This is a wonderful play,” Walpert said. “I loved the show from the first reading. It’s funny and poignant. It will make the audience laugh out loud a lot and perhaps shed a tear. It deals with a small Southern town in the late 1940s. The two major locations are the Bait ‘n’ Brew for the men and the Change Your Life Hair and Beauty Emporium for the ladies. During the course of the show, the characters and audience members all learn something about getting along, tolerance and understanding one another. It’s a great theatrical experience.”

Asked if “Second Samuel” was written to make a social statement, Walpert said only this: “Like many good plays, it makes a social statement without trying to do so.”

Discussing the play’s statements too much would, of course, compromise

Production: “Second Samuel” Company: The Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre Venue: Fort Gordon Performing Arts Theatre (map available online) Dates: May 7-8, 14-15, 20-22 Times: Dinner 7 p.m., show 8 p.m.

Tickets: $32 for off-post civilians; $30 for seniors 65 and over, retirees,

the surprise that will be revealed at the end of Act I. “The characters are simple,” he added. “And as the character U.S. relates to some townsmen at the local watering hole, the Bait ‘n’ Brew, everyone should just ‘love one another.’”

When asked how the other characters react when the big secret is revealed, he said, “Absolute shock!”

Intrigued yet?

I asked, then, how his cast members are reacting to their characters.

“The cast members are all enjoying the discovery process in this work. All the characters live in a small, Southern, post-World War II, Georgia town. They are funny, but real. The simplicity of these characters makes them very genuine and real. It takes hard work to make that simplicity translate into a live theatrical experience, but they are doing a terrific job.”

“There is a big surprise at the end of Act I that really sets the townspeople a-buzz, but if I told you, it would spoil the secret!”

— Steve Walpert, director Fort Gordon Dinner Theater

DA civilians and active duty E8 and above; $20 active duty E7 and below; $15 show only.

By the Way: Bring your photo ID to enter Fort Gordon For Info: Call 793-8552 for reservations and info, or visit www.fortgordon.com

Kids

Learning

Volunteers

Sports

Calendar Health

Education

Out of Town Music

Special

Benefits Meetings Theater Auditions Exhibitions Attractions MuseumsArts Seniors Dance Arts

Laney Museum of Black History, May 2-June 30. An opening reception is scheduled for May 2 from 3-5 p.m.

Auditions

ONE-DAY ARTISTS’ MARKET co-sponsored by the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art, will take place at Augusta Mall May 8.

For info, call (706) 722-5495 or (803) 278-7322 or visit www.ghia.org.

ENOPION THEATRE COMPANY is looking for volunteers to act, sing, sew, build and more for their new musical, “Creation.” Applications are available at www.imaryproductions.com or by calling (803) 442-9039.

EXHIBITION ABOUT TRAINER/RIDER VIRGIL BUDDY RAINES to be held at the Aiken Thoroughbred Racing Hall of Fame and Museum through May 3. Free. Call (803) 642-7650.

Dance

SWEET ADELINES HARMONY RIVER CHORUS OPEN REHEARSAL for singers each Thursday at 7 p.m. at Church of Christ, 600 Martintown Rd. in North Augusta. They are on the lookout for voices in the lower ranges. Contact Stacy Branch at 877-9931.

THE AUGUSTA OPERA will be holding auditions May 7 for new chorus members, supporting roles and outreach for the 2004-05 “A Series of Legends.” Bring a prepared piece.

Accompanist provided. Call (706) 826-4710 to schedule an appointment or e-mail kreagan@augustaopera.com.

DIASPRA PRODUCTIONS will begin holding auditions for a Feb. 2005 production of “The Village,” a multi-ethnic gospel stage play. Needed: actors, singers, dancers, stage hands and musicians. Dates: May 3 at Wallace Branch Library, 7-9 p.m.; May 10 at Wallace Branch Library, 6-8 p.m.; May 15 at Maxwell Branch Library, 10 a.m.-12 p.m.; May 17 at Springfield Baptist Church, 6-8 p.m. Call toll-free 1-877-752-6022.

THE AUGUSTA PLAYERS YOUTH THEATRE will hold auditions for Shakespeare’s “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” May 1 at 1 p.m., May 3 at 7 p.m. and May 4 at 7 p.m. Ages 13-18.

Audition material will be provided. Please have a prepared Shakespearean monologue. Show dates are June 17-19. Call (706) 826-4707.

YOUNG ARTISTS REPERTORY THEATRE COMPANY will hold auditions for “The Adventures of Doctor Doolittle,” a musical, May 10-11 in the lower school cafetorium of Augusta Preparatory School starting at 6:30 p.m. Call 373-0605 for details.

ISRAELI DANCE WORKSHOP at the Augusta Jewish Community Center Sunday afternoons, 4-5 p.m. Open to teens and adults; no experience or partners are necessary.

Cost is $2 per session, with the first session free. For information or to schedule a pre-class beginner/refresher session, contact Jackie Cohen, 738-9016.

Music FINAL SPRING CONCERT AT THE COMMON will be held at the Augusta Common on May 1 from 7-9 p.m. For more information, call 821-1754.

1ST ANNUAL AIKEN BLUEGRASS FESTIVAL takes place April 30 and May 1 in the Washington Theatre in downtown Aiken.

For information, call (803) 502-4746 or (803) 648-6719.

THE 521 ALL-STARS: A CHAMPIONSHIP STORY OF BASEBALL AND COMMUNITY ON EXHIBIT AT THE LUCY CRAFT LANEY MUSEUM OF BLACK HISTORY.

ART CLASSES AND WORKSHOPS are offered year-round at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art. Classes and workshops are open to toddlers through adults and feature instruction in drawing, painting, photography, pottery, weaving and sculpture. For a newsletter or detailed information on registering for classes at the Gertrude Herbert, call 722-5495. The Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art also offers educational tours; for information, contact the education director at the above telephone number.

ART CLASSES FOR CHILDREN AND ADULTS at the Art Factory. The Art Factory also has a homeschool program and scholarships are available. Programs include painting, pottery, pilates, hip-hop, modern dance and more. Classes are held at the Art Factory, 418 Crawford Ave., or at the Augusta Jewish Community Center. Call 731-0008 for details.

Exhibitions RICHARD JOLLEY, sculptor of glass, will display works through May 9 at the Morris Museum of Art. For more information, call 724-7501.

JANOS ENYEDI: THE AMERICAN INDUSTRIAL LANDSCAPE — RECONSTRUCTED will be on view at the Morris Museum of Art through May 30. For more information, call 724-7501.

WORKS OF TOM NAKASHIMA AND JANOS ENYEDI will be on display at the Mary Pauline Gallery through May 29. For more information, call 724-9542.

HARRIET MARSHALL GOODE, “PERSONAL HISTORY BOX,” watercolor and acrylic paintings will be shown through May 29 at Rabold Gallery in Aiken. (703) 641-4405.

PAINTED VIOLINS on display at Augusta Mall. The violins are a result of the Augusta Symphony Guild’s Painted Violins Project, and are the work of Augusta professional artists and two students from Davidson Fine Arts School: Natalie Logue and Nathan Thomason. The violins will be on display throughout the CSRA from Sept. 2004 to April 2005. Contact (706) 826-4705.

THE 521 ALL-STARS: A CHAMPIONSHIP STORY OF BASEBALL AND COMMUNITY will be on display at The Lucy Craft

CANDLELIGHT JAZZ LINEUP BEGINS May 2 at Augusta Common, 7 p.m., featuring the Jerry Harris Tribute Band, Kenny Carr & the Tigers and Damien Sneed & Akua Aidoo. For information, call (706) 821-1754 or visit www.gardencityjazz.com.

ARGENTINIAN QUARTET OPUS CUATRO will play at the Marbury Center on April 30 at 8 p.m. $20 donation. (706) 721-2505 or (706) 650-8154.

THE AUGUSTA CHORAL SOCIETY and the United States Army Signal Corps Band from Fort Gordon will present a musical performance at Sacred Heart Cultural Center Friday, April 30, at 8 p.m. 826-4713.

“AN EVENING WITH BERNSTEIN” at The Etherredge Center in Aiken April 29, 8 p.m. (803) 641-3305.

19TH ANNUAL A DAY IN THE COUNTRY CAR & TRUCK SHOW AND MUSIC FESTIVAL Saturday, May 1 at Augusta Riverfront Marina, followed by A Day in the Country Cars, Crafts & Music Festival Weekend concert May 2. Contact (803) 279-8017 or tkp@tixonline.com. Register vehicle at registeronline.net or call contact number.

THE CANTERBURY CHOIR OF ST. PAUL’S CHURCH, an ensemble comprised of 25 children in grades 3-8, will appear in concert on Friday, April 30, at 7 p.m. Tenor Johnny Lee Green and soprano Amanda Glover will join the kids in a program featuring spirituals arranged by Moses Hogan as well

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004 35

Education

AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF THE UNITED STATES AMATEUR BALLROOM DANCERS ASSOCIATION holds a dance the first Saturday of each month from 7:15-11 p.m. Cost is $7 for members and $10 for non-members. Held at the BPOE facility on Elkdom Court. Contact Melvis Lovett, 733-3890, or Jean Avery, 863-4186, for information.

Courtesy of the Southern Arts Federation

THE BEECH ISLAND HISTORICAL SOCIETY is looking for a couple to duplicate a wedding that took place on the Sandbar Ferry Bridge in 1924. Clothing, vintage automobile, media coverage, minister and music will be provided at no cost to the wedding couple. The Historical Society would like the groom to be from Georgia and the bride to be from South Carolina. For more information, contact Joan Harrison at (803) 827-3209 or The Beech Island Historical Society at (803) 867-3600.

THE AUGUSTA INTERNATIONAL FOLK DANCE CLUB meets Thursday evenings at 7:30 p.m. No partners are needed and newcomers are welcome. Call 737-6299 for location and info.

as other choral music for children’s and solo voices. For info, visit www.saintpauls.org, call (706) 724-2485, ext. 215, or email kshafer@saintpauls.org.

THE 12 BANDS OF CHRISTMAS is now accepting submissions for the 2004 12 Bands of Christmas benefit and concert. Last year’s event raised $10,000 for MCG’s Children’s Medical Center. If you are an aspiring singer/songwriter or in a band, record a demo of an original or traditional Christmas song that you would like included on this year’s compilation.

Artists will be chosen based on performance and song, not the quality of the recording. Submission is free, but CDs will not be returned. Include your name, band name, phone number, e-mail address and song name on the CD. There is no guarantee that your song will be used. If selected as one of the 12 Bands of Christmas, you will receive recording and production time with producer Ruskin Yeargain for the song that you submitted. You will also be a featured act in December at the Imperial Theatre concert. All costs of this, including any licensing fees, will be paid by Bordertown Music. This is a non-profit fund-raiser. Mail your CDs to 12 Bands of Christmas, Attention: Joe Stevenson, 3208 A Mike Padgett Hwy., Augusta, GA 30906. E-mail MP3s to jstevenson@bellsouth.net. Deadline is June 1.

ANNUAL SUMMER CONCERT SERIES AT HOPELANDS in Aiken starts May 3 with Aiken Community Band, and continues May 10 with Fabio Mann & Friends. Call (803) 643-4661.

GREATER AUGUSTA YOUTH ORCHESTRA to give their spring concert May 10 at ASU. Call 737-1453.

THE AUGUSTA CHORALE SPRING CONCERT will be held May 2, 4 p.m. at the Gilbert Lambuth Chapel of Paine College.

Adults $15, students $5. Call (706) 733-7809.

Theatre “FOSSE” COMES TO THE BELL AUDITORIUM May 20. It is a Tony Award-winning smash hit musical highlighting the work of the legendary dancer, choreographer and director Bob Fosse. (706) 722-3521 or info@arccc.com.

THE AUGUSTA PLAYERS PRESENT “THE WIZ” with Russell Joel Brown at the Imperial Theatre April 30 and May 1 at 8 p.m. and May 2 at 3 p.m. 826-4707.

AUGUSTA MINI THEATRE presents their youth production of “A Little Bit of This and a Little Bit of That,” April 30 and May 1 at 8 p.m. at the Jack B. Patrick Technology Center on the campus of Augusta Technical College. For info, call (706) 7220598 or visit www.augustaminitheatre.org.

FORT GORDON DINNER THEATRE presents “Second Samuel” by Pamela Parker May 7-8, 14-15, 20-22. Dinner 7 p.m., show 8 p.m. Call 793-8552 for reservations and info or visit www.fortgordon.com. Open to the public. Bring your photo ID to enter Fort Gordon.

Attractions MOTORIZED TOURS OF HISTORIC AIKEN every Saturday, 10-11:30 a.m. Tours leave from the Washington Center for the Performing Arts. Reservations are required, and patrons must be age 2 and older. (803) 642-7631.

AUGUSTA CANAL INTERPRETIVE CENTER: Housed in Enterprise Mill, the center contains displays and models focusing on the Augusta Canal’s functions and importance to the textile industry. The 17th annual Augusta Canal Cruise & Cookout takes place May 1. Hours are Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m. and Sun., 1-6 p.m. Admission is $5 adult, $4 seniors and military and $3 children ages 6-18. Children under 6 admitted free. Guided boat tours of the Augusta Canal depart from the docks at Enterprise Mill at 11 a.m., 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m.

Saturdays and Tuesdays and Thursdays at 11 a.m. and 1:30 p.m. Tour tickets are $6 adults, $5 seniors and $4 students and children. For tour information, call 823-7089. For other info, visit www.augustacanal.com or call 823-0440.

36 METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004

THE BOYHOOD HOME OF WOODROW WILSON: Circa 1859 Presbyterian manse occupied by the family of President Woodrow Wilson as a child during the Civil War and Reconstruction. Original and period antiques, restored house, kitchen and carriage house. 419 Seventh Street. Open 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Tues.-Sat. Tours available; groups of 10 or more by appointment only. Admission is $5 adults, $4 seniors, $3 students under 18 and free for ages 5 and under. 722-9828.

AUGUSTA GOLF & BOTANICAL GARDENS OF THE GEORGIA GOLF HALL OF FAME features beautiful display gardens, as well as bronze sculptures of some of golf’s greatest masters.

Available for rent for a variety of functions. Group discount rates available. Closed Mondays; open from 9 a.m.-5 p.m.

Tues.-Sat.; open from 1-5 p.m. on Sunday. Admission is $5.50 for adults; $4.50 for students, seniors and military; $3.50 for children (4-12); free for children 3 and under.

Photo courtesy of Russell Joel Brown

11TH ANNUAL BLIND WILLIE MCTELL BLUES FESTIVAL will be held May 22 in Thomson. Gates open at 11 a.m.

Music starts at noon. Festival ends at 9 p.m. Advanced tix $15; day of show $20. For info, visit www.blindwillie.com or call (706) 597-1000.

RUSSELL JOEL BROWN REHEARSES WITH THE CAST OF “THE WIZ,” WHICH RUNS APRIL 30-MAY 2 AT THE IMPERIAL THEATRE.

Sundays are two for one with a Super Sunday coupon. Annual garden memberships are available. Call 724-4443 or 1-888874-4443. Also, visit their Web site at www.gghf.org.

NATIONAL SCIENCE CENTER’S FORT DISCOVERY: Children and adults alike can immerse themselves in the wonders of science through live demonstrations, virtual realities, Starlab, KidScape and more than 250 hands-on exhibits. General Admission: $8 for adults; $6 for children, seniors and active military. Group rates available. Operating hours: Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sunday, noon-5 p.m. Call 821-0200, 1-800-3255445 or visit their Web site at www.NationalScienceCenter.org.

REDCLIFFE STATE HISTORIC SITE: 1859 mansion of S.C. Governor James Henry Hammond, held by the family for three generations until 1975. Grounds and slave quarters are open Thursday-Monday, 9 a.m.-6 p.m. House tours will be offered at 1, 2 and 3 p.m. Admission to the grounds is free.

Fee for house tours is $3 for adults and children ages 6-17.

For more information, call (803) 827-1473. 181 Redcliffe Road, Beech Island.

SACRED HEART CULTURAL CENTER is offering tours of its 100-year-old building Mon.-Fri., 9 a.m.-5 p.m. $1 per person, children free. 826-4700.

AUGUSTA VISITORS INFORMATION CENTER open Mon.Sat., 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sun. 1-5 p.m. Located inside the Augusta Museum of History. Call 724-4067.

THE EZEKIEL HARRIS HOUSE: Deemed “the finest 18th century house surviving in Georgia” by the “Smithsonian Guide to Historic America.” Open Saturday, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. General admission is $2; senior admission is $1 and children get in for 50 cents. For more information, call 724-0436.

PHINIZY SWAMP NATURE PARK: See egrets, blue herons, river otters and elusive alligators in their natural setting, just minutes from downtown Augusta. The park has observation decks, boardwalks and several nature trails suitable for hiking. Open Monday-Friday, noon-dusk; Saturday and Sunday, dawn to dusk. Full Moon Wine & Chocolate will take place May 4 from 7-9 p.m. with limited registration. On May 8, there will be a nature photography class. For more information, call the Southeastern Natural Sciences Academy Office at 828-2109.

ALIENS LAND AT FORT DISCOVERY May 8-Labor Day. Call (706) 821-0607 or visit dimmockk@nscdiscovery.org.

Museums THE GERTRUDE HERBERT INSTITUTE OF ART in Ware’s Folly exhibits works by local and regional artists. Art classes, workshops and other educational programming for children, youth and adults are held in the Walker-Mackenzie Studio.

Open Tuesday-Friday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m., and Saturday by appointment only. Admission is free, but a donation of $2 for

adults and $1 for children and seniors is encouraged. Call 722-5495 or visit www.ghia.org for more info.

THE AUGUSTA MUSEUM OF HISTORY hosts permanent exhibition “Augusta’s Story,” an award-winning exhibit encompassing 12,000 years of local history. For the younger crowd, there’s the Susan L. Still Children’s Discovery Gallery, where kids can learn about history in a hands-on environment. The museum also shows films in the History Theatre and hosts a variety of programs. On May 5 at noon, the Brown Bag History Series presents Dr. Michael William Wilson, who will speak about John James Audubon in Georgia. Located at 560 Reynolds Street. Open TuesdaySaturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sunday 1-5 p.m. New permanent exhibitiion, “Into the Interior: A History of the Georgia Railroad and Banking Company,” opens April 30. Admission is $4 adult, $3 seniors, $2 kids (6-18 years of age) and free for children under 6. Free admission on Sundays. Call 722-8454 or visit www.augustamuseum.org for more information.

THE MORRIS MUSEUM OF ART hosts exhibitions and special events year-round. The Jazz on Film Series continues May 4.

The Children’s Performance Series continues May 8 with Aztec Dance of Mexico. Closed on Mondays and major holidays. 1 Tenth Street, Augusta. Call 724-7501 or visit www.themorris.org for details.

RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL AND AUGUSTA ANIMAL RESCUE FRIENDS hold pet adoptions at Superpetz off Bobby Jones Expressway every Sunday from 1-4 p.m. Call AARF at 364-4747 or visit www.aarf.net. Adoptions also held at the Richmond County Animal Control Shelter Tues.-Sun., 15 p.m. Call the shelter at 790-6836.

THE CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. and every Wednesday evening from 5:30-7:30 p.m. at the Pet Center located behind the GreenJackets Stadium on Milledge Rd. 261-PETS. MOLLY’S MILITIA, a pet adoption agency, meets each Saturday at Superpetz in Aiken from 11 a.m.-3 p.m., Petsmart in Aiken from 3-6:30 p.m., and Petsmart in Augusta from 4:30-7:30 p.m. For more information, call (803) 2797003.

DOWNTOWN LUNCH DATE each Wednesday through June 30 from noon-1:30 p.m. at the Augusta Common will feature lunch from a local restaurant and musical entertainment. For more information, call 821-1754.

PLANT SWAP & SALE takes place May 1, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. at Pendleton King Park Pavilion at 1600 Troupe Street, Augusta.

738-4321.

THE MUSEUM OF LAUREL AND HARDY OF HARLEM, GEORGIA features displays of various Laurel and Hardy memorabilia; films also shown. Located at 250 N. Louisville Street in downtown Harlem. Open 1-4 p.m. Thursday-Monday. For more information, call 556-3448.

CINCO DE MAYO CELEBRATION on Barton Field and at Freedom Park at Fort Gordon, April 29-May 2. Festivities are open to the public and include a carnival, flea market, live music, ethnic foods, pony rides, a car show and fireworks.

Phone (706) 791-3639.

LUNCH AT NOON LECTURE SERIES held the second Wednesday of every month at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History, 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Call the museum at 724-3576 for more information.

THIRD ANNUAL AIKEN HIGHLAND GAMES AND CELTIC FESTIVAL April 30-May 2 at Sporting Days Farm on Hwy. 78, seven miles east of Aiken. Phone (803) 649-7374 or (803) 649-3101, or e-mail aikengames@bellsouth.net.

Special Events

HARRISBURG COMMUNITY ARTS & CULTURAL FESTIVAL, presented by the Art Factory, May 1 at the Ezekiel Harris House from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Music, pottery demonstrations, free guided tours of the Harris House, Harrisburg artists and craftspeople, concessions. No admission charge. Call (706) 731-0008.

AUGUSTA SHOWCASE, an economic development campaign to market the area to potential business residents, will soon be underway. The Augusta Metro Chamber of Commerce is giving presentations on the effort. Contact Tammy Stout, 7228326, ext. 2, to schedule a speaker for your club or civic group.

1ST ANNUAL WOMEN’S LEADERSHIP CONFERENCE May 4, 7:30 a.m.-5 p.m. at the Pinnacle Club, 699 Broad Street. Call (706) 792-1427 or write hba@hbagroup-intl.com.

MCDUFFIE FRIENDS OF ANIMALS holds pet adoptions each Saturday, 1-3 p.m. at Superpetz on Bobby Jones Expressway.

Call 556-9090 or visit www.petfinder.com.

GEORGIA RENAISSANCE FESTIVAL runs through June 6 from 10:30 a.m.-6 p.m. For info, visit www.georgiarenaissancefestival.com.

COLUMBIA COUNTY HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. and every Sunday from 1-4 p.m. at PetsMart. For more info, call 860-5020.

AT THE GEORGIA MUSEUM OF ART in Athens, Ga.: “Leaving for the Country: George Bellows at Woodstock” through May 16.

Visit www.uga.edu/gamuseum or call (706) 542-4662 for info.

Out of Town

Garden City Music Festival

Greater Augusta Arts Council presents

Saturday, MAY

MUSIC: 12 Noon til 11pm

8, 2004 at the Augusta Common

WYCLIFFE GORDON • COL. BRUCE HAMPTON & THE CODETALKERS

THE REGGAE COWBOYS • STEWART & WINFIELD • CADILLAC JONES DARK CORNER BLUEGRASS BAND • THE GOSPEL ORIGINALS PAT BLANCHARD BAND • WAYNE-C • REDBELLY • SHAUN PIAZZA BAND PARK BENCH BLUES TRIO • THREE SIXTY • CHELSEA LOGUE NOT GADDY'S DRUM CIRCLE

$10 adv

ance / $

15 n 10 & day of festi under F v ree al Food, D rink

Childre

, Music ndors a , Arts & nd m NO PETS OR COO ore!!

Craft Ve

LERS!

For Tickets & Info Call: 706.826.4702 augustaarts.com

Fetch Dog Treats - Surrey Center Metro Coffee House- Broad Street Serendipity - Washington Rd., Evans Pyramid Music- Broad St. & Kmart Shopping Ctr.

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004 37

Ticket Locations:

AT THE HIGH MUSEUM OF ART in Atlanta: “Glories of Ancient Egypt,” through Sept. 19; “African Gold From the Glassell Collection,” through Sept. 19. Call (404) 733-HIGH or visit www.high.org for information.

AUGUSTA BALLET MERCEDES RAFFLE: The Augusta Ballet will raffle off a 2004 Mercedes CLK 320 Cabriolet during May’s First Friday celebration. Tickets are $100 each and may be purchased through the ballet office at 261-0555.

ALLIANCE THEATRE COMPANY presents “A Death in the House Next Door to Kathleen Turner’s House on Long Island” through May 30. For more info, call the season ticket office at (404) 733-4600, the box office at (404) 733-5000 or visit www.alliancetheatre.org.

AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL is in need of dog and cat food, cat litter and other pet items, as well as monetary donations to help pay for vaccinations.

Donations accepted during regular business hours, Tues.Sun., 1-5 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Call 790-6836 for information.

THE ATLANTA JAZZ FESTIVAL takes place May 1-31 in venues throughout Atlanta. Free. Visit www.atlantafestivals.com.

THE GEORGIA MUSIC HALL OF FAME in downtown Macon continues the Live at Five Spring Concert Series Tuesdays in May, 5-7 p.m. Call (478) 750-8555.

ATLANTA’S NEW AMERICAN SHAKESPEARE TAVERN presents “A Man for All Seasons” through May 9.

(404) 874-5299.

NEW FDR MUSEUM IN WARM SPRINGS, GA. at the Little White House site. For info, call (706) 655-5870 or visit www.fdr-whitehouse.org.

LITTLE RICHARD WILL PERFORM at the Mable House Amphitheatre in Mableton, Ga., May 1, 8 p.m. Cost is $15$45. Call (404) 577-8686 or e-mail info@360media.net.

SPRING FESTIVAL ON THE SQUARE in Abbeville, S.C., April 30-May 1. Begins 3 p.m. April 30 with craft and food vendors and amusement rides for children. The Edgewood Band will be the featured street dance entertainment for the first night.

The second day will feature a vintage auto parade, unicyclists, floats and more. Call (864) 459-1433.

Benefits DERBY DAY to benefit the Augusta Training Shop for the Handicapped May 1, 3-7 p.m., at the Augusta Riding Center, 1403 Flowing Wells Rd. Event includes Southern cuisine, contests, live music and two big-screen TVs showing the Kentucky Derby. Advance tickets are $35 and are available at all Georgia Bank and Trust locations. For information, contact Sandra Gurley at 724-2601 or Audrey Murell at 738-1358.

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SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER BLOOD DRIVES in various locations around the CSRA this month. For detailed information on locations and times to donate, visit www.shepeardblood.org. You may also call Susan Edwards at (803) 643-7996 for information on Aiken locations and Nancy Szocinski at 737-4551 for information on all other locations.

AMERICAN RED CROSS BLOOD DRIVES at the Aiken Red Cross Blood Center on Millbrook Drive and the Augusta Red Cross Blood Center on Pleasant Home Road. The bloodmobile will also stop at various area locations this week. For a complete list, call the Aiken Blood Center at (803) 642-5180 or the Augusta Blood Center at 868-8800.

HOPE HOUSE “VIVA LAS VEGAS” FUNDRAISER will take place May 7, 6:30-11 p.m. at the Radisson Riverfront Hotel.

The evening will feature a Vegas-style casino including craps, blackjack, roulette and poker, with prizes available to purchase with winnings. All proceeds benefit Hope House, Inc. For more information, call 737-9879.

GOLF TOURNAMENT to benefit Leukemia and Lymphoma Society held at Gordon Lakes Golf Course on Fort Gordon, May 1. (706) 774-1986.

2-MILE WALK-FOR-LIFE supporting the Augusta Care Pregnancy Center, May 1 at Augusta’s Riverwalk. Registration begins at 8:30 a.m. and the walk begins at 9 a.m. Call 7245531.

LETTER CARRIERS WILL COLLECT FOOD May 8 at your mailbox. Place your non-perishable food donation — canned soup, juice, pasta, vegetables, cereal and rice — at your box before your letter carrier arrives.

“HOW CAN MY CHILD BE READY TO GO TO COLLEGE WHEN SHE/HE CAN’T REMEMBER TO FEED THE DOG?” is the topic of the Project LINK lecture for May 4 at the main conference center (BT-1810) in the MCG Children’s Medical Center. Free and open to the public. From 6:30-8 p.m. Call (706) 721-KIDS.

CHRONIC PAIN SUPPORT GROUP meets the first Thursday of every month, 10:30-11:30 a.m. at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital. 823-5294.

WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL offers a number of health programs, including fibromyalgia aquatics, water aerobics, wheelchair and equipment clinics, therapeutic massage, yoga, acupuncture, children’s medical services clinic, special needs safety seat loaner program, exercise class for breast cancer survivors and more. Call 823-5294 for information.

USC-AIKEN CONTINUING EDUCATION offers Paralegal Certificate Course, Taming the Wild Child, Conversational French, Italian, Spanish for the Beginner, Sign Language, Debt-Free Living and more. “Travelearn” learning vacations for adults and Education to Go online courses also available.

For info, phone (803) 641-3563.

DIET COUNSELING CLASSES for diabetics and those with high cholesterol at CSRA Partners in Health, 1220 Augusta West Parkway. Free. Call 860-3001 for class schedule.

AUGUSTA STATE UNIVERSITY CONTINUING EDUCATION offers Stained Glass and Basic ICD-9 Coding May 4-25. Also, ASU offers online courses. For more information, call 7371636 or visit www.ced.aug.edu.

UNIVERSITY HEALTH CARE SYSTEM COMMUNITY EDUCATION holds workshops, seminars and classes on a variety of topics: Weight and nutrition, women’s health, cancer, diabetes, seniors’ health and more. Support groups and health screenings are also offered. Call 736-0847 for details.

AIKEN TECH CONTINUING EDUCATION offers Education to Go classes online, as well as computer classes, massage therapy, medical coding and billing, motorcycle safety, driver education and more. For more information or to register, call (803) 593-9231, ext. 1230.

RAPE CRISIS AND SEXUAL ASSAULT SERVICES offers group counseling for victims of rape, date rape and childhood sexual abuse regardless of when the assault occurred and whether or not it was reported. Free. Call (706) 724-5200.

GED classes are offered by the Community Resource Center.

Tuition is free. Call 722-4999 for more information.

FOODBORNE ILLNESS CLASS held May 11 and 13 at MCG. Call 721-5437 for info.

SERVICE CORPS OF RETIRED EXECUTIVES (SCORE) provides counseling and mentoring to business people either starting or continuing their business. Counseling is free and administered by retired executives. For more information, call 793-9998.

AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY presents I Can Cope sessions for those diagnosed with cancer and their family and friends at First Baptist Church on Walton Way. Offered May 1. For info, call 731-9900 or 1-800-ACS-2345.

FREE TUTORING at ASU’s Born to Read Literacy Center for all ages. Call 733-7043.

SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER is seeking donors to prevent a blood supply shortage. To donate, call 737-4551, 854-1880 or (803) 643-7996.

CANINE COLLEGE 101 at the Weeks Center in Aiken May 11June 1. Call (803) 642-7631.

Kids

Health ANGELS HAVE WHEELS: Medicare recipients suffering from conditions such as arthritis, cardiovascular disease and respi-

AIKEN COUNTY PONY CLUB meets weekly. Open to children of all ages who participate or are interested in equestrian sports. For more information, contact Lisa Smith at (803) 649-3399.

We want to honor the area cancer survivors at this year’s American Cancer Society Relay For Life

M AY 1 4 T H & 1 5 T H at the Family Y

Cancer Survivors make the first Victory Lap of the Relay

at the Imperial Theatre

Cancer Survivors who participate are given a special T-shirt and lapel pin

Tickets $15 - $45 Student & Senior Discounts available

ORDER ONLINE AT WWW.AUGUSTAOPERA.COM

or call 706.826.4710 ext. 22

O

38 METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004

ratory disorders who have difficulty walking or propelling a standard wheelchair may be eligible to receive an electric wheelchair. For information on eligibility, call Gregory at 1800-810-2877.

Cancer Survivors... This Is For You!

May 13 - 8pm May 15 - 8pm and May 16 - 3pm

Augusta

O

Learning

pera

Mark D. Flint

General & Artistic Director

Sponsors: Georgia Council for the Arts, Azalea Inn, Courtyard by Marriott, Valueboards, RedWolf, Inc.

Cancer survivors are the heart of American Cancer Society Relay For Life. Cancer survivors are invited to begin the American Cancer Society Relay For Life by walking the Survivors’ Victory Lap around the track.

Join us as we celebrate life.

To sign up for the survivors walk, call

706-731-9900

Presenting: Augusta Oncology Associates MCG Owens & Minor University Hospital

Sponsors of the 2004 Relay For Life Are:

Platinum: Doctor’s Hospital Sam’s Club Gold: Atlanta Gas & Light Metro Spirit

Silver: Bronze:

Monsanto Kennametal IPG Very Vera Southtrust

Help Wanted Customer Service/Sales Support person wanted to serve as a sales assistant, working with established advertising clients and the sales department to provide top quality customer

May 2, 9, 16, 23, 30 - Candlelight Jazz Eighth Street Bulkhead - 8 p.m. – 9:30 p.m.

Join us each Sunday along the banks of the Savannah River for an enchanted evening of jazz. Admission is $5.00.

May 5, 12, 19, 26 - Downtown Lunch Date

service. Applicant must be outgoing, confident,

Augusta Common - Noon – 1:30 p.m.

Every Wednesday join us for lunch and musical entertainment in the Common.

organized and have reliable transportation. Job

May 8 - Walk for Asthma

requires interaction with advertisers via telephone, email and in person.

Full time position.

Resume to: Employment, Metro Spirit P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914

Riverwalk - 8 a.m. – Noon Sponsored by the American Lung Association of Georgia. This walk is designed to educate the community concerning asthma.

May 8 - Garden City Music Festival Augusta Common - Noon - 9 p.m.

Enjoy some great music as well as a grand sampling of artisans, food and beverages.

May 22 - CSRA Annual Gospelfest 2004 Jessye Norman Amphitheater - 5 p.m.

Featuring various choirs from the CSRA.

May 31 - Memorial Day Concert Jessye Norman Amphitheater - 7 p.m.

Join the Augusta Concert Band for a grand celebration on the River for Memorial Day.

FOR INFORMATION, CALL

821-1754

Can you identify the Oldies 93.9 “Secret Sound?”

Listen to the Dickie Shannon Show at 7:20 Weekday Mornings and at various hours throughout the day and you could win thousands of dollars in cash!

It’s the “Secret Sound,” another fun contest from your station for good times and great oldies…

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004 39

GIRLS INCORPORATED OF THE CSRA AFTER-SCHOOL PROGRAM runs through May 21. Open to girls currently enrolled in kindergarten through high school. In addition to offering specialized programs, Girls Incorporated offers van pick-up at select schools, neighborhood drop-off, homework room and a hot evening meal. For information, call 733-2512.

meet the first Thursday of every month at the Warren Road Community Center on Warren Road. Call (803) 278-2751.

MEDITATION & BUDDHISM meetings through June at the UU Church of Augusta, Walton Way Extension, Tuesdays from 78:30 p.m. (No class 6/1.) Call (803) 256-0150 or visit www.MeditationInSouthCarolina.org.

WEEKLY STORY SESSIONS at all branch libraries. Visit www.ecgrl.public.lib.ga.us for more information.

WOMEN ON WHEELS, the Georgia-Lina Chapter, meets the second Tuesday of each month. Dinner is at 6:30 p.m., with the meeting beginning at 7:30. Women on Wheels is a women’s motorcycle club which meets for recreation, education, support, recognition and to promote a positive image of motorcycling. Location changes monthly. For info, call (706) 855-7375.

FIRST SATURDAY STORYTELLING at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum. In addition, there is a tour of the museum. Held 10 a.m.-noon the first Saturday of the month. Call 724-3576.

Seniors

THE DANCES OF UNIVERSAL PEACE held the first Saturday of every month, 7-9 p.m., at the Unitarian Church of Augusta, honor the religious traditions of the world through song and movement. Call (803) 643-0460 for more information.

UNIVERSITY SENIORS CLUB has moved to a new location at 4106 Columbia Rd. University Seniors Club offers health screenings, support groups, health education classes and social activities. For more information, call 868-3231 or 1800-413-6652.

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS: If you want to stop using any drugs, there is a way out. Help is available at no cost. Call the Narcotics Anonymous help line for information and meeting schedules at 855-2419.

HOME-BASED CARE available for low- to mid-income families seeking alternatives to nursing home placement. To participate, individuals must be aged 60 or up or must have disability status as defined by Social Security Administration guidelines. Applicants must also meet program income guidelines. For more information, contact the CSRA Area Agency on Aging at 210-2018 or 1-888-922-4464.

“ROOTS OF GARDENING” SERIES presented by Georgia Golf Hall of Fame’s Botanical Gardens. The ABC’s of Planting is from 6:30-7:30 p.m. May 20, June 17, July 15, Aug. 19, Sept.

16 and Oct. 21. For info, call (706) 724-4443.

AUGUSTA BRAIN INJURY SUPPORT GROUP meets the second Thursday of every month, 6 p.m., at Walton West TLC. Brain injury survivors and their family members and caregivers are invited to attend. 737-9300.

WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL offers Arthritis Aquatics and People with Arthritis Can Exercise. Call 8235294 for information.

WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL AMPUTEE CLINIC for new and experienced prosthetic users meets the third Thursday of each month, 1-3 p.m. 722-1244.

SENIOR VOLUNTEERS NEEDED for the new visitor center at Phinizy Swamp Nature Center to greet visitors, hand out literature and sell merchandise. Volunteers are asked to commit one Saturday or Sunday per month, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. or 1-5 p.m. Call 828-2109 for information.

STORYTIME IN THE GARDENS will take place Tuesdays at 4 p.m. in May in Hopeland Gardens. For more information, call (803) 642-7631.

AIKEN PARKS AND RECREATION offers a multitude of programs for senior adults, including bridge clubs, fitness classes, canasta clubs, line dancing, racquetball, arts and crafts, tennis and excursions. For more information, call (803) 6427631.

THE CANOE & KAYAK CLUB OF AUGUSTA meets the fourth Tuesday of each month at 7 p.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. For info, visit www.ckca.homestead.com or call (706) 860-5432.

THE CSRA LINUX USERS GROUP meets 6 p.m. every fourth Tuesday at Border’s Books and Music in the Target shopping center. E-mail augustalinux@comcast.net or call (706) 790-8439.

THE ACADEMY FOR LIFELONG LEARNING offers lectures, courses, field trips, discussion groups and community information seminars on a variety of topics to mature adults. For more information, contact the USC-Aiken Office of Continuing Education at (803) 641-3288.

THE SENIOR CITIZENS COUNCIL OF GREATER AUGUSTA AND THE CSRA offers a variety of classes, including ballroom dance, aerobics, quilting, tai chi, Spanish, line dancing, bowling, bridge, computers, drama club/readers theatre and pinochle. For dates and times, phone 826-4480.

SENIORNET provides adults age 50 and over education for and access to computer technology. Many different courses are offered. Contact the USC-Aiken Continuing Education Office at (803) 641-3563.

SENIOR VOLUNTEERS NEEDED for new docent training program at the historic home of Nicholas Ware. Learn the fascinating history of Ware’s Folly and the families who lived there.

All interested should call 722-5495.

MEDICARE 2 SENIORS FAMILY INFORMATION FAIR May 1, 10:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m. at Gospel Water Branch Baptist Church in Evans. Presented by the CSRA Regional Development Center Area Agency on Aging. Call (706) 210-2018 or (888) 922-4464.

Sports FAMILY Y RECREATIONAL GYMNASTICS session held through May 14. Classes available for toddlers through teens.

Call 738-6678.

THE AUGUSTA VOLLEYBALL ASSOCIATION is looking for new members. For more information, visit www.augustavolleyball.com.

THE AUGUSTA RUGBY CLUB is always looking for new members. Teams are available for women and men. No experience necessary. Practice is Tuesday and Thursday nights, 79 p.m. at Richmond Academy. For more information, call Don Zuehlke, 495-2043, or e-mail augustarfc@yahoo.com. You may also visit www.augustarugby.org.

40 METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004

AUGUSTA FLYERS TRACK CLUB invites area youth ages 718 to join the team. Registration is through May 15. For more information, contact George Taylor at 738-3737.

AUGUSTA GREENJACKETS play at home against the Charleston RiverDogs April 29-30 and against the Savannah Sand Gnats May 1-4. Call (706) 736-7889 or visit www.greenjackets.org.

HYPERFLITE SKYHOUNDZ CANINE DISC EVENT coming to the Weeks Center in Aiken May 8 at 10 a.m. There is a 9:30 a.m. registration deadline. Call 642-7631.

ARGENTINIAN QUARTET OPUS CUATRO WILL PLAY AT THE MARBURY CENTER ON APRIL 30 AT 8 P.M.

Volunteer FORTE INTERNATIONAL EXCHANGE ASSOCIATION is in need of local host families for high school international exchange students for the 2004-2005 school year. For more information, contact Tracy Klemens, (678) 358-5890.

PHINIZY SWAMP NATURE PARK VISITOR CENTER is in need of volunteers to greet visitors, hand out literature and sell merchandise. Volunteers must commit to one Saturday or Sunday each month, from either 9 a.m.-1 p.m. or 1-5 p.m.

828-2109.

SOUTHERNCARE HOSPICE SERVICE is currently seeking volunteers to perform a variety of tasks, including relieving caregivers, reading to patients and running errands. Training is included. For additional information, contact Lisa Simpson, (803) 463-9888 or 869-0205.

CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY NEW VOLUNTEER ORIENTATION PROGRAM the first and third Saturday of every month at the Pet Center, 425 Wood St. Orientation starts at 11 a.m.

Volunteers under 18 years of age must have a parent or guardian present during orientation and while volunteering.

Call 261-PETS for information.

THE KITTY ORTIZ DE LEON FOUNDATION needs volunteers to help promote organ donor awareness. For more information, contact Cassandra Reed or Espy De Leon at 394-0838 or kodfoundation@aol.com.

GOLDEN HARVEST FOOD BANK needs volunteers during the day, from 8:30 a.m.-4 p.m. Monday-Friday, to help sort donated products and assist in their agency shopping area.

Help is needed year-round. If you are able to lift 25 pounds, can commit to at least 3-4 hours per month and would like to help fight hunger in the Augusta area, contact Laurie Roper at 736-1199, ext. 208.

RAPE CRISIS AND SEXUAL ASSAULT SERVICES at University Hospital will conduct volunteer training April 30May 3. Call (706) 774-2746 for info.

AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL: New volunteer orientation is scheduled the first Saturday of each month at 1 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Schedule subject to change; call 790-6836 to verify dates and times.

RICHMOND COUNTY DEPARTMENT OF FAMILY AND CHIL-

DREN SERVICES is seeking dependable foster parents to provide temporary housing, care and support for Georgia’s children. For more information, contact L. Lewis at 721-3718.

MENTORS AND VOLUNTEERS needed to provide support for MACH Academy at the May Park Community Center and the Fleming Tennis Center. Education, tutoring and technology sessions held Monday-Thursday, 3-6 p.m. at each location.

Tennis instruction and fitness activities held MondayThursday, 6-7 p.m. at May Park and Monday-Tuesday, 6-8 p.m., Friday, 6-8 p.m. and Saturday, 2-5 p.m. at the Fleming Center. 796-5046.

AUGUSTA/CSRA HABITAT FOR HUMANITY needs volunteers at ReStore, Walton Way and Tenth Street, to assist with receiving donations of new and used building and home improvement materials and warehousing them for sale to the public. The store is open Thursday-Saturday year-round. If you can commit eight or more hours per month, contact Steve Buck, 364-7637.

UNITED HOSPICE OF AUGUSTA is in need of volunteers to support terminally ill patients. Scheduling and training times are flexible. Call Donna Harrell at 650-1522 for information.

THE ARTISTS’ CONSERVATORY THEATRE OF THE CSRA is looking for volunteer board members, actors and production crew. Call 556-9134 or e-mail act@theatermail.net.

COURT APPOINTED SPECIAL ADVOCATE PROGRAM VOLUNTEER TRAINING: The CASA program is looking for volunteers 21 years of age and older to advocate for abused and neglected children in the juvenile court system. Volunteers need no experience and will be provided with specialized training. Call 737-4631.

Meetings THE METRO AUGUSTA FRISBEE DOG CLUB to begin meeting the last Sunday of each month. Call (706) 210-8577.

Dogs and owners welcome.

AUGUSTA SKI AND OUTING CLUB meets the first Tuesday of each month. Call (803) 279-6186.

AUGUSTA NEWCOMERS CLUB holds a coffee meeting the first Tuesday of every month. Call (706) 650-1400.

THE AUGUSTA CAVEMASTERS is the regional club for persons interested in cave exploration and conservation. They

AUGUSTA GEM AND MINERAL SOCIETY meets every third Friday at 7:30 p.m. in the Georgia Military College Building on Davis Rd. For more information, call 547-0178.

JOHN BIRCH SOCIETY OF AUGUSTA civic advocacy meeting every third Saturday from 10 a.m.-12 noon at Friedman Branch Library. For more information, contact Tonio at 373-3772.

Weekly OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS meets every Sunday night, 7:30 p.m., at Holy Trinity Lutheran Church in North Augusta. For more information, call 278-5156.

NAR-ANON FAMILY GROUP for relatives and friends of drug abusers. No dues or fees. The group meets Mondays at 7 p.m. Call for location. For information, contact Josie, 4145576, or Lionel, 860-0302.

GAMBLERS ANONYMOUS meets Thursdays, 7:30 p.m., in the basement of Fairview Presbyterian Church.

1-800-313-0170.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: For more information and a meeting schedule, call 860-8331.

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS: If you want to stop using any drugs, there is a way out. Help is available at no cost. Call the Narcotics Anonymous help line for information and meeting schedules at 855-2419.

SEXAHOLICS ANONYMOUS, a 12-step program of recovery from addiction to obsessive/compulsive sexual thoughts and behaviors, meets Wednesdays at 8 p.m. at Christ Church Unity, 2301 Central Ave. Call 339-1204 and leave first name and phone number; a confidential reply is assured.

AUGUSTA TOASTMASTERS CLUB #326 meets each Thursday at 7:30 p.m. at Advent Lutheran Church in Martinez.

Learn communication and leadership skills. For more information, call 868-8431.

GUIDELINES: Public service announcements are listed in this section without charge at the discretion of the editor. Announcements must be received by Monday at noon and will be included as space permits. Send to Events, Metro Spirit, P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914 or fax (706) 733-6663. You may also e-mail listings to rhonda.jones@metrospirit.com or lisa.jordan@metrospirit.com. Listings cannot be taken over the phone.

HEALTH PAGE

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Voted Best Steak In Augusta For 15 Years

Take care of yourself. Let University help.

MammoSite: A Faster, Easier Way to Treat Early-stage Breast Cancer

Tune in on Monday, May 10 at 9:15 a.m. to hear Jennifer B. Bartley, M.D., a board-certified obstetrician and gynecologist on University's Medical Staff, discuss osteoporosis.

Need Help Coping with Cancer?

If you or someone in your family has been diagnosed with cancer, why not attend the American Cancer Society’s “I Can Cope” class on Saturday, May 1 from 9 a.m.-3 p.m. at First Baptist Church?

Speakers will address the physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of cancer and help you understand that you are not alone in your struggle against this disease. Lunch will be provided.

Registration required. For more information or to register, call 706/731-9900.

Every year more than 250,000 American women are diagnosed with breast cancer. If diagnosed early, many of these women can take advantage of breast-saving surgeries called lumpectomies, in which the tumor is removed, leaving the rest of the breast tissue intact. Unfortunately, some candidates for this procedure decline because traditional follow-up treatment often requires six to seven weeks of full-breast radiation.

But University Hospital is one of a select group of hospitals nationwide to offer a new option called MammoSite. According to Randy Cooper, M.D., a board-certified surgeon on University Hospital’s Medical Staff, the procedure delivers targeted radiation right to the site of the lumpectomy in a matter of days rather than weeks.

Randy Cooper, M.D., Surgeon

Here’s how the procedure is performed.

During or soon after the lumpectomy, the surgeon places a balloon, attached to a catheter that remains outside the breast, into the cavity left by the tumor. The balloon is inflated with salt water. The patient then undergoes 10 rounds of radiation, twice a day for five days, on an outpatient basis. During each treatment a radioactive “seed” is placed in the inflated balloon for six minutes then removed. “Treatments last about 10 minutes, and they are not painful,” Dr. Cooper says.

According to Dr. Cooper, most recurrences of breast cancer appear in the lumpectomy site. “So treating just that site minimizes radiation exposure to healthy tissue, reduces side effects and helps save the rest of the breast.”

But MammoSite is not right for every patient. “Patients must be in the early stages, have small tumors and age is also a factor,” says Dr. Cooper.

For more information on MammoSite or breast health, please call University’s Breast Health Center at 706/774-4141.

To sign up, visit www.universityhealth.org and click “HealthMail” at the top of the home page. You will not receive any e-mail notices unless you register, and you may remove your name from the list at any time.

BODYPUMP™ is hailed as The Fastest Way in the Universe to Get in Shape, and Health Central is the only facility in Augusta to offer this revolutionary program. It’s designed to work your entire body for maximum results in minimum time. Right now, there’s never been a better time to pump up your fitness routine with our special offer including 2 months free membership with annual membership, plus no enrollment fee and a free half hour massage.

what the talk is all about!

SOUTHERN CUISINE

AT ITS BEST

To register for your FREE class, just call 724-4408 ext. 224

Your resource for healthy living.

COMMUNITY EDUCATION “Keeping Off the Bypass Track” Mike Watts, M.D., cardiologist Tuesday, May 11 5:30-7:30 p.m.

FREE dinner University Hospital dining rooms 1-3 Reservations required. Call 706/868-3231 or 800/413-6652.

“Summer, Sun and Proper Skin Care - Melanoma and Other Skin Cancers” Avis Yount, M.D., dermatologist Thursday, May 20 5:30-7:30 p.m.

FREE dinner University Hospital Dining Rooms 1-3 Reservations required. Call 706/868-3231 or 800/413-6652.

FREE Skin Cancer Screenings Monday, May 10 6-8 p.m.

Family Physicians of Evans, 465 North Belair Road, Suite 1C in Evans.

HEALTH INFORMATION , CALL

Appointments required. Call 706/774-5777.

The screenings will be performed

by Frederick A. Merrill III, D.O.; R. Darren Marionneaux, M.D.; David Harrover, M.D.; David Hogue, M.D. and Sherry Barinowski, M.D. Appointments are required and can be made by calling 706/774-8900.

SUPPORT GROUPS Cancer Share Support Group Monday, May 3 6 p.m.

University Hospital, 10 West Family Room Registration required. For more information call 706/774-8900.

Health Risk Assessment Program Daily Weight Management and Nutrition Center $35 per test To register or for more information, call 706/774-8917.

“Living Well with Diabetes” Thursday, May 13 5 p.m.

University Hospital cafeteria or area restaurant For more information and location, call 706/774-5798.

Wellness Wednesdays May 5, 12 9 a.m.-noon University Seniors Club, 4106 Columbia Road For Seniors Club members only.

Includes FREE blood pressure, glucose and height and weight screenings.

No appointment necessary. For information call 706/868-3231 or 800/413-6652.

Sexual Assault Rape Crisis and Sexual Assault Services offers FREE group counseling for victims of sexual assault including rape, date rape and childhood sexual abuse regardless of when the assault occurred and whether or not it was reported. For more information about their groups or other services, please call 706/724-5200.

Speech and Hearing Screenings For adults and children University’s Speech and Hearing Center Corner of St. Sebastian Way and 13th Street. $10

ASK•A•NURSE

AT

737-8423 (SER-VICE)

Hot Foods

by Calvin Voted Best Down Home Cooking Five Years in a Row. Formerly of Calvert’s and Augusta Country Club.

“I’m glad I got where I am today on my own, through my own hard work.

But it still would have been nice to have had back-up in the form of investment capital.”

-Calvin Green, owner, Hot Foods by Calvin, featured in The Business Observer’s November, 2003 article, In The Minority.

CATERING SERVICES • DINE IN • TAKE OUT • DELIVERY

706-738-5666

www.hotfoodsbycalvin.com Open 7 days a week 8am to 11pm 2027 Broad Street • Augusta, GA OR

800/476-7378 (SERV)

TODAY !

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004 41

HEALTH SCREENINGS

Log on to learn more: www.universityhealth.org

TASTE

For your FREE cancer risk appraisal, call University’s Cancer Line at 828-2522 or 866/869-2522.

Log on to learn more!

HealthMail offers you the opportunity to be notified via e-mail about upcoming events, offerings, news and updates of interest. All you have to do is sign up and choose which health topics interest you. You will then receive periodic e-mails about seminars, special events, current news and articles on your chosen topics.

2856 Washington Rd. 73-STEAK 1654 Gordon Hwy. 796-1875

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“HealthTalk” on WRDW-1630 AM

F OR FREE 24- HOUR

1987-2002

Bomb Epic

Hollywood

Flix Must-See

Boring

Comedy Sleeper Oscar Pick Director Stars This Rocks Famous Silly

Masterpiece

Frankie Muniz, who is 18, playing 16 and at moments looks ripe to be 40, is agent Banks, a CIA operative on a covert mission to Britain. Kevin Allen directed like a giddy tourist, and the menu of Saturday daytime entertainment is served a bit more sharply than by the last "Spy Kids" romp. Cast: Frankie Muniz, Anthony Anderson, Hannah Spearritt, Cynthia Stevenson, Keith David. Running time: 1 hr., 24 mins. (Elliott) !!

The Alamo (PG-13) — Texans lost the battle of the Alamo but won the war and history. The new movie version, "The Alamo," tries to scrape off some of the familiar legend but inevitably reinforces it.

And why not? Inevitably, the dramatic focus goes to the early Texans: Dennis Quaid as rude, hard-drinking Gen. Sam Houston; Patrick Wilson as young Lt. Col. William Travis, a reed who became an oak; Jason Patric as Jim Bowie of big knife fame, dying of consumption. Above all, dominating and entertaining, is Billy Bob Thornton, using his great rube's face and corncob charm as Davy Crockett. The frontier humor and bravado are in place, though the moving, violent climax inevitably lacks surprise. "The Alamo" has some rugged power and is good enough to make us remember the Alamo. Cast: Billy Bob Thornton, Dennis Quaid, Jason Patric, Emilio Echevarria, Jordi Molla, Patrick Wilson. Running time: 1 hr., 16 mins. (Elliott) !!!

Bobby Jones: Stroke of Genius (PG) — “Bobby Jones: Stroke of

Genius” is the story of the legendary golfer’s life, chronicling everything

from Jones’ sickly childhood to his victories on the golf course during his short career. Cast: James Caviezel, Claire Forlani, Jeremy Northam, Connie Ray, Brett Rice.

The Butterfly Effect (R) — As Evan Treborn, Ashton Kutcher is a floppy fishie with a hook in his mouth, and that hook is the script. Seems that Evan's dad is a deranged psycho with a "most unusual" brain disorder who, during the boy's visit to the ward, tries to throttle and kill him. As Evan grows up, there are other lurid milestones. Evan has a breakthrough: Reading his old diaries, the pages quiver and this lets him mentally travel back to a past he can now change. In the middle, gulping like a caught bass, is Kutcher, aching with sincerity and technique you could call inadequate except that no technique would be adequate. The poor guy is caught, stuffed and mounted.

Cast: Ashton Kutcher, Amy Smart, Elden Henson, Kevin Schmidt, Eric Stoltz, William Lee Scott. Running time: 1 hr., 53 mins. (Elliott) !

Cheaper by the Dozen (PG) —

To make an old (1950) Clifton Webb comedy without Clifton Webb is a serious loss, but getting Steve Martin — a vanilla-shaked version of Webb's snappish fussiness — is not a bad idea for "Cheaper by the Dozen."

He's engaging as Tom Baker, football coach and father of 12 kids. Bonnie Hunt plays the wife and mom, Kate, looking awfully good despite the wear. The Bakers have a great life in a small town where Tom coaches, but he's hired to go to a bigger team outside Chicago, and the only story is the stress on the family from their move. The film is simple and obvious and plastic, but diverting. Designed to be fluff, it's fluffy all the time.

Cast: Steve Martin, Bonnie Hunt, Piper Perabo, Hilary Duff, Richard Jenkins. Running time: 1 hr., 34 mins.

(Elliott) !!

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (PG) — Another Disney dinky, turn-

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004 42

“Godsend”

ing the dreams of girls into piffle.

Lindsay Lohan pitches her pretty charm like mad as "drama queen" Lola, who leaves New York for New Jersey (looks like a section of Burbank), wins a worshipful friend, dazzles a boy, squelches a snarky rival and stars in a rock version of “Pygmalion” full of "American Idol" razzle.

Wasted rather depressingly are Carol Kane, Glenne Headly and other talents, treated as confetti at Lohan's feet.

Cast: Lindsay Lohan, Carol Kane, Glenne Headly. Running time: 1 hr., 34 mins. (Elliott) !

Connie and Carla (PG-13) — Nia Vardalos is Connie

and Toni Collette plays Carla, minor show-biz dreamers who see a murder and flee Chicago, pursued by hoodlums. The girls bunker into a gay club and pour

f o s

Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London (PG) —

Funny

Not Bad

ction” a r t At

Action

Drama

New Line Cinema

Awesome

“ L a w

Lame

their dinner theater aspirations into becoming the headline act — as drag queens, way off mobster radar. Vardalos and Collette bustle with dress-up fever and can enjoyably oomph old musical whoppers from "Cabaret" and "Mame" and "Evita," so the drag dollies dazzle West Hollywood. David Duchovny hunkers sensitively as a straight bothered by having a transvestite brother, then guiltier about desiring Connie.

Vardalos has the timing and go-for-broke vim of a show-savvy animal, and she can strip, frisk, kiss and massage viewers with simultaneous expertise. Cast: Nia Vardalos, Toni Collette, David Duchovny, Stephen Spinella. Running time: 1 hr., 37 mins. (Elliott) !!1/2 Dawn of the Dead (R) — Thanks to a plague, the United States is taken over by zombies. It pretty much follows the rules found in the “Zombie Codebook”: If killed by a zombie, one must return as one. Once turned into a zombie, one must seek fresh blood. One must also go to the mall. (To the mall?) The good guys, for some reason, think that the mall is a pretty neat place to be too. Needless to say, forces collide, with the good guys deciding to make a run for it to a (supposedly) safe island. But first, they have to get through a sea of the undead. Based upon the 1979 movie “Dawn of the Dead.” Cast: Sarah Polley, Ving Rhames, Mekhi Phifer, Michael Barry, Linday Booth, Ty Burrell, Jayne Eastwood, Michael Kellym, Jake Weber, Kevin Zegers, Tom Savini.

Ella Enchanted (PG) — Is Anne Hathaway the prettiest girl in movies? No, Hathaway (she's 21) is the prettiest woman in movies. Her beauty and charming personality give some light weight to "Ella," in which Ella is really Cinderella. Ella is under a spell that makers her obey all orders — will someone please order Hathaway to stay pretty in better movies?

Cast: Anne Hathaway, Hugh Dancy, Cary Elwes, Minie Driver, Vivica A. Fox, Eric Idle and Joanna Lumley.

Running time: 1 hr., 34 mins. (Elliott) !!

Envy (PG-13) — Tim and Nick are best friends, neighbors and co-workers. When one of Nick’s getrich-quick schemes succeeds, Tim, who had initially dismissed Nick’s idea, has to cope with Nick’s overnight success and his own jealousy. Cast: Jack Black, Ben Stiller, Stephanie Adams, Rachel Weisz, Amy Poehler.

Eurotrip (R) — Scotty ditches his German pen pal when the pal, who Scotty assumed was a male, starts hitting on him. Little does Scotty know, Mieke is a woman, and when he realizes his mistake, the only way to win her back is to travel to Europe himself and apologize. Cast: Scott Mechlowicz, Michelle Trachtenberg, Jacob Pitts, Travis Wester, Jessica Bohrs.

Godsend (PG-13) — Paul and Jessie Duncan are still dealing with the grief over the death of their 8-year-old son, Adam, when a shady geneticist, Dr. Richard Wells, enters their life with an incredible offer. He claims to be able to clone Adam and give the Duncans a second chance at life with their son. The new Adam is born and everything seems to follow the same pattern until he passes his eighth birthday and disturbing things start to happen. Cast: Greg Kinnear, Rebecca RomijnStamos, Robert De Niro, Cameron Bright.

The Haunted Mansion (PG) —

Another movie based on a ride at Disneyland, again featuring cheesy, story-altering references to the rides, as well as plots about ghosts and curses. Eddie Murphy is a workaholic real estate agent and a smooth-talking sleazebag. A promising real-estate deal turns out to be more than he bargains for, and his eagerness to scope out a house on the way to a family vacation leaves his entire family stranded at a creepy, cobweb-ridden Louisiana mansion with a curse. The result is a movie that, while consistently amusing, plays like a hackneyed effort to stretch a few minutes of ride into a coherent, hour-and-a-half story. Cast: Eddie Murphy. Running

Lions Gate Films

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!! — Mixed

! — Poor

0— Not worthy

continued on page 44

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Hellboy (PG-13) — It was made by Guillermo del Toro, fan of Mike Mignola's Dark Horse comic book "Hellboy." Ron Perlman gets a big ticket to franchise status as Hellboy. He's a devil child born from a Nazi attempt (with Rasputin) to open the entrails of hell, yet raised by kindly scientist Prof. Bruttenholm (John Hurt), longing for sexy depressive Liz (Selma Blair), amused by Jimmy Olsen-like FBI nerd Myers (Rupert Evans). Hellboy is huge, he's red. It's a movie for people (the guy kind) who can't stop turning the pages of comic books, who want life to be serialized.

Cast: Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, John Hurt, Jeffrey Tambor. Running time: 1 hr., 55 mins. (Elliott) !!

Home on the Range (PG) — Life at an idyllic dairy farm is disrupted first when a snooty cow comes to live there and secondly when the bank threatens foreclosure on the property. A group of animals vows to save the farm. Cast: Randy Quaid, Judi Dench, Roseanne Barr, Jennifer Tilly, Cuba Gooding.

Johnson Family Vacation (PG-13) — Comedy is long, laughter is short.

Scarcely directed, the movie is vacant of style and aggressively lame. You might pine for the old National Lampoon road comedies. Why do a black version of those formula pictures that is softer, cornier, more vanilla at the core? Coming so soon after the dismal (but more amusing) "Never Die Alone," this marks a bad season for black cinema. But "Johnson Family Vacation" has nothing to do with cinema, and nothing of value to do with black. Cast: Cedric the Entertainer, Bow Wow, Vanessa Williams, Shannon Elizabeth, Solange Knowles.

Running time: 1 hr., 35 mins. (Elliott) !

Kill Bill: Volume 2 (R) — Uma Thurman is on her way to revenge, martial arts fighting and mayhem in the last installment in Quentin Tarantino's "Kill Bill." Tarantino jams a lot into his blender of martial arts mania, pulp and cartoons. He takes the Bride's revenge mission against murderous former lover Bill through its narrative loops, kids the lofty stature of a martial master, stages wind-whipped car shots, and turns the Bride's lethal motive into female empowerment. "Vol. 2" has more story, more emotion, more breath-held quiet times to coax and trigger the tensions. For Uma Thurman, the Bride is it, the great vehicle for her giraffe sexiness and sly hipster humor. Thurman has her icon role, incarnating the Bride with slinky bravura, but also feminine feeling. Cast: Uma Thurman, David Carradine, Michael Madsen, Darryl Hannah, Michael Parks. Running time: 2 hrs., 16 mins. (Elliott) !!!!

The Last Samurai (R) — Tom Cruise stars as Nathan Algren, a heroic Civil War veteran and then embittered cavalry man, reduced to heavy drinking and shilling for a gun company. Algren goes to Japan, paid to train the new imperial army in modern ways and weapons. But he finds himself drawn to the insurgent cause and almost idyllic life in the hills of samurai leader Katsumoto (Watanabe), who fights for the old ways and hopes to win over the adolescent emperor from greedy modernists. Having come to teach, Algren stays to learn.

He is captured after impressing Katsumoto with his fighting spirit; the "barbarian" has a tiger within. "The Last Samurai" bides its time, has a predictable plot, but gives pleasure of a sustained kind. Cast: Tom Cruise, Ken Watanabe, Tony Goldwyn, Timothy Spall, Koyuki. Running time: 2 hrs., 24 mins. (Elliott) !!!

Laws of Attraction (PG-13) — Divorce attorneys Audrey and Daniel, usually on bitter, opposing sides of a case, wake up married after a crazy night. Cast: Pierce Brosnan, Julianne Moore, Michael Sheen.

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (PG-13) —

lasts 200 minutes, and some of those are long minutes.

The last 20 can feel like an hour, for clearly creator Peter Jackson didn't wish to let his saga go. Bernard Hill, Viggo Mortensen and Orlando Bloom are impressive fighters, and Cate Blanchett makes a gorgeous Galadriel. This is posing, not acting. Sir Ian McKellen

The Passion of the Christ (R) —

Mel Gibson's risky, passionate treatment of Christ's last 12 hours, long on fear and gore and agony, devils (even Satan), sadistic and/or guilty Romans, hatefully smug Jewish priests and, above all, the tormented face of Jim Caviezel as Jesus. Gibson uses heavy, hackneyed devices and naive tactics; he thinks a few brief flashbacks to benign gospel episodes can offset and illuminate the relentless flood of anguish and bloodshed, and he comes close to making this a rite of faith-based sadism. It is up to believers to decide if Gibson's Jesus is their own, but since no actor can truly act the Son of God spiritually, Caviezel becomes a sacrificial offering. Cast: Jim Caviezel. Running time: 2 hrs., 7 mins. (Elliott) !!

The Prince and Me (PG) — It's about a fairy tale romance between Denmark's Prince Edvard (Luke Mably) and an American farm girl turned workaholic U. of Wisconsin student, Paige (Julia Stiles).

The plot twist is that Paige doesn't know that "Eddie" is a prince, who has gone undercover as an exchange student. They have a quick, coy courtship, with fun on campus and Ed visiting her farm home, where he learns

to milk a cow. Of course, photo pests arrive, and duty calls Edvard back to Copenhagen, and Paige follows. We also get James Fox as the old king, wanly noble and happy about Denmark getting a commoner queen (the old queen, Miranda Richardson, has doubts). Cast: Julia Stiles, Luke Mably, James Fox, Miranda Richardson.

Running time: 1 hr., 41 mins. (Elliott) !!

The Punisher (R) — Frank Castle is a former Delta Force member and FBI special agent whose family is killed by the family of a young man inadvertently killed in one of Castle’s undercover missions. Castle vows to get revenge. Cast: Thomas Jane, John Travolta, Laura Elena Harring, Samantha Mathis, Will Patton, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, Rob Schneider.

Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (PG) — Scooby and the gang

are back for another adventure. This time, they’re on the trail of an anonymous masked villain who’s wreaking havoc on Coolsville with a machine that spits out monsters. All signs point to Old Man Wickles... Cast: Freddie Prinze Jr., Sarah Michelle Gellar, Linda Cardellini, Peter Boyle, Alicia Silverstone, Seth Green, Matthew Lillard.

Secret Window (R) — Writer Mort Rainey (Johnny Depp), traumatized by divorce from Amy (Maria Bello), who's taken up with her plot device of a lover (Timothy Hutton), is ready to become jellied putty for a grim rustic who trails Southern Gothic literary vines. John Shooter (John Turturro) shows up claiming that Rainey plagiarized a story of his, ruined the ending and deserves cruel payment. How, really, do you go wrong with actors like Turturro, Depp, Bello, Hutton and (as a private eye) Charles S. Dutton? By using them as spits for King's brand of corn, roasted and then shoved down the gullets of the gullible. Cast: Johnny Depp, Maria Bello, John Turturro, Len Cariou, Timothy Hutton, Charles S. Dutton. (Elliott) !!

13 Going on 30 (PG-13) — Shana Dowdeswell plays Jenna Rink, hitting 13, bright and shy, eager to run with the sarcastic fox pack at school.

On Jenna's birthday, they inflict a wretched trick on her and the pudgy boy who yearns to date her. After a sprinkle of magic dust, she is suddenly about 30 in New York City, a rising novice editor at chick-chic Poise. And Jenna is now Jennifer Garner. The cute and pudgy boy is now Mark Ruffalo, still cute, less pudgy, treating his talent like a warm puppy.

Weirdly, her new chum is her main rival at the magazine, the former queen of the fox pack now Judy Greer.

Enjoy the actors, lightly, but suspend all thought. Cast: Jennifer Garner, Mark Ruffalo, Kathy Baker, Judy Greer, Phil Reeves.

Running time: 1 hr., 32 mins. (Elliott) !!

Andy Garcia, David Strathairn, Russell Wong. Running time: 1 hr., 37 mins. (Elliott) !!

Van Helsing (PG-13) — Van Helsing, the legendary monster hunter, is called on by a secret society to rid Transylvania of Count Dracula. Joining him is Anna Valerious, who is out to kill Dracula to end a centuries-old curse plaguing her family. Cast: Hugh Jackman, Kate Beckinsale, Richard Roxburgh, David Wenham, Will Kempe.

Walking Tall (PG-13) — is "dedicated to the memory of Sheriff Buford Pusser," the hero subject of 1973's "Walking Tall." Now there is Chris Vaughn, former Special Forces rock played by the Rock (Dwayne Douglas Johnson). The Washington state town to which veteran Chris returns has a new and gaudy casino not far from the sadly closed lumber mill. The casino king and town master is blond and blocky, played like a Northwest Nazi by Neal McDonough. His goons also sell drugs, and after Chris' nephew tries some bad stuff, Chris goes on a bashing rampage.

Soon, he is elected sheriff. Chris fondly remembers "the smell of fresh cedar" at the mill, and it is a grand slab of cut cedar he uses to slam heads, backs, legs and guts. The real love is that of the audience for Chris' indignant rages, his glorious and glowering ability to inflict mayhem while also trashing property. Cast: The Rock, Johnny Knoxville, Neal McDonough. Running time: 1 hr., 35 mins. (Elliott) You Got Served (PG-13) — Elgin and David are best friends who are serious about their hobby: urban street dancing. When another town’s top group challenges them to a dancing competition, the boys must create new, cutting-edge moves to stay in the game. Cast: Marques Houston, Omari Grandberry, Jennifer Freeman, Jarrell Houston, Dreux Frederic.

—Capsules compiled from movie reviews written by David Elliott, film critic for The San Diego Union-Tribune and other staff writers.

Twisted (R) — Ashley Judd plays

tough San Francisco cop Jessica Shepard, recently promoted to homicide detective.

Jessica picks up men in bars, then has fast, rough sex that has an aura of foreplay for murder. Sure enough, a series of her studs turn up dead.

And Jessica, who is prone to drinking red wine in quantity, yanking her trigger temper and then "hearing voices," becomes a key suspect in her first murder case. Just as the male victims seem to have "disposable" stenciled on their foreheads, to go with the cigarette burns on their hands, so does the film appear to carry the label Video Bin: Recycle Fast. Cast: Ashley Judd, Samuel L. Jackson,

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acts very well as noble Gandalf, but lines about heart, courage and fate make him Lord Fortune Cookie. "Lord" is all epic, all the time. Jackson loves battles, which means hurling dense masses of mostly computerized fighters at one another. If the climax battle this time is more overpowering than the Helm's Deep boggler in "Two Towers," does it truly deepen the story? Maybe it is just more spectacle, as climaxes are stacked high and then the epic winds down with Elijah Woods as Frodo (now mildly matured) exiting sweetly, his destiny done. Cast: Ian McKellen, Elijah Wood, Cate Blanchett, Viggo Mortensen, Ian Holm, Orlando Bloom, Sean Astin.

Running time: 3 hrs., 20 mins. !!

Man on Fire (R) — Denzel Washington is Creasy, a veteran pro killer turned alcoholic and drifter.

His old black-ops pal (Christopher Walken) gets him a Mexico City job guarding the precious Lupita "Pita" Ramos (Dakota Fanning), bilingual child of an American mom (Radha Mitchell) and rich Mexican father (Marc Anthony). We know Pita will be kidnapped by vile creeps, that the cops will prove corrupt or hapless, and that after taking bullets in his upper torso, Creasy will soon be on his feet as a revenge demon once a ransom plan goes wrong. If Creasy threw a snivelling thug on top of an Aztec altar and cut his heart out, it wouldn't much surprise us. Nor does the "surprise" twist at the end. Cast: Denzel Washington, Dakota Fanning, Marc Anthony, Christopher Walken, Giancarlo Giannini, Mickey Rourke. Running time: 2 hrs., 10 mins. (Elliott) !1/2 Mean Girls (PG-13) — Cady Heron, raised in Africa, moves back to the United States for high school. She thinks she knows all about survival, but life in the wilds of Africa doesn’t prepare her for the psychological warfare waged by teen-age girls. Cast: Lindsay Lohan, Rachel McAdams, Tina Fey. My Baby’s Daddy (PG-13) — A trio of partying bachelors from the ‘hood must curb their wild ways when they discover all three of their girlfriends are pregnant at the same time. Cast: Eddie Griffin, Anthony Anderson, Method Man, Bai Ling, Paula Jai Parker.

Never Die Alone (R) — Makes each viewer die alone, but shared laughter with other customers may forge a death-pact bond. David (DMX) is laid out in his bier, in pious mimicry of photos of the dead Tupac Shakur. He is also King David, regal drug dealer back in Los Angeles to reclaim his throne. But there waiting is Moon (Clifton Powell), a crime Caesar who has clearly seen way too many '70s "blaxploitation" movies. King David sports fine threads but frets about his soul and quotes from the Bible. It is in David's Bible that white writer Paul (David Arquette) finds the soulful truths of the royal life after he is "offed." You'd never guess that director Ernest Dickerson did exciting photography for Spike Lee, so grainy, light-drunk and blasted by cliché is most of the imagery. This is not "street" but gutter, and every actor is hosed away. Cast: DMX, David Arquette, Michael Ealy, Clifton Powell.

Running time: 1 hr., 35 mins. 0

“Envy”

continued from page 42

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flix

Washington Weighs In on “Man on Fire”

By Joey Berlin

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erhaps it is Hollywood’s response to the emotional climate of post-9/11 America, but several tales of righteous vengeance are flooding movie theaters all at once. Recent weeks have seen “The Punisher,” “Walking Tall” and the conclusion of the “Kill Bill” saga.

Now Denzel Washington weighs in with “Man on Fire,” which reunites the actor with director Tony Scott following their 1995 collaboration on “Crimson Tide.” In “Man on Fire,” Washington plays a tough soldier of fortune assigned to protect a child in Mexico City. He bonds with the smart little girl, played by Dakota Fanning. But then, under his watch, she gets kidnapped. Washington’s character is a remarkably effective killing machine, and he goes ballistic on the culprits.

Since winning his second Oscar, the 2002 Best Actor award for “Training Day,” Washington has made his directorial debut with the bittersweet and very moving “Antwone Fisher,” and also starred in two other films about men at the ends of their ropes, “John Q” and “Out of Time.”

The 49-year-old superstar will next appear in director Jonathan Demme’s highly anticipated remake of “The Manchurian Candidate” Q: What aspect of “Man on Fire” did you find most compelling?

A: I found it interesting, the journey that this man takes. This is a man who is very talented but because of what he had to do, he’s lost his soul. He became a dark drinker, with the Bible in one hand and Jack Daniels in the other. He says he doesn’t want to deal with people, he’s not comfortable with people. You’re not sure what he’s done, and I like the fact that you don’t know. He has these burn marks on his hand, but you don’t know what they’re from. I was just interested in his spiritual journey, where he meets this little angel who brings him back to life.

Q: Is it fair to say that you did not need much convincing to work again with director Tony Scott?

A: Yeah, I really wanted to work with him again. We had great success with “Crimson Tide.” I sat down with him about “Man on Fire” for the first time, maybe a year or so before shooting. He already had his enthusiasm, his research. He was prepared. He walked me through his 20-odd-year journey on this project. I signed up.

Q: How did you like acting opposite Dakota Fanning, who was just nine years old at the time?

A: It was easy. She’s great. We talked a lot and joked. She’s a very good actor, she’s very bright and her parents have done a wonderful job keeping her grounded. She’s just a good young lady. Dakota’s an extraordinary person, very bright and fun to be around.

Q: You like to improvise a little during filming. How much improvisation could she handle?

A: Anything I threw at her. We improvised a lot, she was so in the character. Only twice

have I found myself watching the other actor who I’m in the scene with and thought, “Wow!” Once was years ago when I was acting with Gene Hackman, and once was in a scene with Dakota. She’s nine. Where did she get this from?

Q: What was your impression of salsa recording artist Marc Anthony, who plays Dakota Fanning’s father in “Man on Fire?”

A: Marc is cool, I like Marc. He’s from the Bronx, I believe. He’s a regular guy from up the block. And we were in Mexico, so everybody knew him.

Q: You had to have bodyguards while filming in some locations. Were you comfortable with that?

A: I wasn’t comfortable being with eight guys with guns around me all the time. I felt more comfortable when I snuck away from them and just hit the streets on my own or with a partner.

Q: How did the movie studio executives feel about you being on your own there?

A: Well they didn’t hear about it, until now.

The bodyguards were not that good. Or maybe they were so good, I didn’t realize they were following me the whole time.

Q: You have already directed one film, “Antwone Fisher.” Are you planning to direct again, and do you now pay closer attention to how other directors work?

A: I was definitely feeling like I was at the end of the acting road, before directing. I was bored, to be quite honest with you. When I saw “Man on Fire,” the finished film, I thought about that little movie I made and I said, “Jeez, what I did has nothing to do with what I’m looking at here.” This film is complicated, the music and sound and style. So I’m learning, and I’m excited about getting behind the camera again.

Q: Besides thinking about directing another movie, what else are you doing these days?

A: I work with the Boys & Girls Club. I’m raising money to rebuild the club I grew up with. I’m on my way to South Africa to spend some time with Mr. Mandela. I oversee the homework at the house.

Q: Why are you visiting Nelson Mandela?

A: I’m just visiting as a friend. He’s slowing down and he asked me to come over there, and I’m going.

flix

“Mean Girls” Is Long on Story, Short on Laughs

By Rachel Deahl

A

few months ago Tina Fey was profiled in The New Yorker and revealed, among other things, that she was a mean girl in high school.

Fey described herself as a fairly unpopular teen-ager who despised the kids that partook in the classic triumvirate of adolescent sins: drinking, drugs and sex. Fey admitted that her time in high school was a central inspiration for her screenplay, “Mean Girls.”

Based on a parenting book called “Queen Bees and Wannabes,” a guide for parents hoping to help their adolescent daughters through the horrors of high school, “Mean Girls” tells the story of a naïve, home schooled teenager who starts her junior year at a Chicago high school and quickly becomes all too comfortable with her catty classmates.

Produced by Lorne Michaels and featuring a group of “Saturday Night Live” alums and current players, including Fey and Tim Meadows, “Mean Girls” is a more dignified (mostly) and sharper comedy to come out of the SNL machine than most.

Unlike the typical sketch-to-film vehicles that SNL is known for spawning, like “A Night at the Roxbury” or “Superstar,” “Mean Girls” is more committed to telling a story than simply setting up scenarios that could provoke a laugh. Unfortunately, in the end, “Mean Girls” isn’t as black a comedy as it needs to be. When the film should bare its teeth and go in for the kill it reveals its heart, painted all too obviously on its sleeve.

Lindsey Lohan stars as Cady Heron, a fresh-faced teen-ager who’s spent her formative years living and traveling

with her parents, both academics, in Africa. Untouched by the hands of MTV and “American Idol,” Cady shows up at high school only to realize it houses vicious wildlife of its own — teen-agers. When Cady befriends two outsiders — Janis (Lizzy Caplan), a bitter Goth, and her effeminate sidekick, Damian (Daniel Franzese) — she agrees to join the elite all-girl band that rules over the school, The Plastics, as something of a double agent.

Intending to humiliate and topple the group, especially their leader Regina George (Rachel McAdams), Cady begins to get a little too comfy in her newfound role.

Surprisingly, “Mean Girls” isn’t rife with sight gags or cruel tricks. Instead of capturing a war of attrition in which the popular girls get their comeuppance, the film chronicles the ebb and flow of Cady’s conversion to plasticity.

Although there’s a mix of good gags and cheap shots, “Mean Girls” doesn’t have as much bite as it should.

Ironically Fey, who plays a bookish math teacher that coaxes Lohan back to nicedom, doesn’t follow through with the edgy possibilities set up in her script. Since the comedienne’s success on “Saturday Night Live” comes as much from her whip-smart repartee as her unabashed willingness to be politically incorrect and cruel, it’s surprising that sensibility becomes so watered down in the last leg of “Mean Girls.”

When Fey’s script should be going in for the kill, it opts instead to offer a simplistic ideal of an adolescent bubble in which the girls start to respect each other and everyone is — gasp — nice. Not only is that a situation which isn’t very funny, it’s also preposterous.

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REGAL AUGUSTA EXCHANGE 20

Movies Good 4/30 – 5/6 Van Helsing (PG-13) Thur: 12:01 a.m.

Mean Girls (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:05, 12:35, 2:30, 3:00, 4:50, 5:30, 7:15, 7:55, 9:40, 10:35, 12:00; Sun-Thur: 12:05, 12:35, 2:30, 3:00, 4:50, 5:30, 7:15, 7:55, 9:40, 10:35 Laws of Attraction (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:00, 2:15, 4:30, 7:05, 9:20, 11:35; Sun-Thur: 12:00, 2:15, 4:30, 7:05, 9:20 Godsend (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:50, 3:45, 7:45, 10:15, 12:35; Sun-Thur: 12:50, 3:45, 7:45, 10:15 Envy (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 2:00, 4:30, 7:30, 10:05, 12:20; Sun-Thur: 2:00, 4:30, 7:30, 10:05 Bobby Jones: Stroke of Genius (PG) 1:45, 4:55, 7:40, 10:25 13 Going On 30 (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:10, 12:40, 2:45, 3:15, 5:15, 5:45, 7:35, 8:05, 9:55, 10:25, 12:20; Sun-Thur: 12:10, 12:40, 2:45, 3:15, 5:15, 5:45, 7:35, 8:05, 9:55, 10:25 Man on Fire (R) 12:15, 12:45, 3:50, 4:15, 7:00, 7:30, 10:00, 10:30 Connie and Carla (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 8:00, 10:25; Mon-Tues: 7:55, 10:20; Wed-Thur: 8:00, 10:25 Kill Bill: Volume 2 (R) 12:05, 3:10, 7:15, 10:10 The Punisher (R) 12:30, 3:20, 7:50, 10:30 Ella Enchanted (PG) Fri-Sat: 12:10, 2:25, 4:35, 7:00, 9:15, 11:40; Sun-Thur: 12:10, 2:25, 4:35, 7:00, 9:15 The Alamo (PG-13) 1:10, 4:10, 7:10, 10:10 Johnson Family Vacation (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:20, 2:40, 5:00, 7:25, 9:45, 12:10; SunThur: 12:20, 2:40, 5:00, 7:25, 9:45 Hellboy (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 1:00, 3:55, 7:00, 9:45, 12:25; Sun-Thur: 1:00, 3:55, 7:00, 9:45 Home on the Range (PG) 12:00, 2:00, 4:00, 6:05 Scooby Doo 2 (PG) 12:35, 2:50, 5:05 Walking Tall (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:25, 2:30, 4:40, 7:05, 9:20, 11:30; Sun-Thur: 12:25, 2:30, 4:40, 7:05, 9:20 The Prince and Me (PG) Fri-Sat: 7:25, 9:55, 12:30; Sun-Thur: 7:25, 9:55 The Passion of the Christ (R) 1:15, 4:20, 7:20, 10:20 EVANS 14 CINEMAS

Movies Good 4/30 - 5/6 Laws of Attraction (PG-13) Fri: 3:35, 5:45,

7:55, 10:05; Sat-Sun: 1:25, 3:35, 5:45, 7:55, 10:05; Mon-Thur: 5:45, 7:55, 10:05 Bobby Jones: Stroke of Genius (PG) Fri: 3:55, 6:55, 9:45; Sat-Sun: 12:55, 3:55, 6:55, 9:45; Mon-Thur: 3:55, 6:55, 9:45 Envy (PG-13) Fri: 3:10, 5:15, 7:30, 9:40; SatSun: 1:05, 3:10, 5:15, 7:30, 9:40; Mon-Thur: 5:15, 7:30, 9:40

10:00; Sat-Sun: 1:15, 3:25, 5:35, 7:45, 10:00; Mon-Thur: 5:35, 7:45, 10:00 Godsend (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 2:00, 4:30, 7:05, 9:25; Mon-Thur: 4:30, 7:05, 9:25 Man on Fire (R) Fri: 3:45, 6:50, 9:40; SatSun: 12:50, 3:45, 6:50, 9:40; Mon-Thur: 3:55, 6:50, 9:40 Kill Bill: Volume 2 (R) 6:45, 9:30 The Punisher (R) 7:25, 9:55 13 Going on 30 (PG-13) Fri: 3:00, 4:20, 5:20, 6:40, 7:40, 9:00, 10:00; Sat-Sun: 12:40, 1:50, 3:00, 4:20, 5:20, 6:40, 7:40, 9:00, 10:00; Mon-Thur: 4:20, 5:20, 6:40, 7:40, 9:00, 10:00 The Alamo (PG-13) Fri: 4:10, 7:10, 9:50; SatSun: 1:10, 4:10, 7:10, 9:50; Mon-Thur: 4:10, 7:10, 9:50 Ella Enchanted (PG) Fri: 3:20, 5:25; Sat-Sun: 1:20, 3:20, 5:25; Mon-Thur: 5:25 Johnson Family Vacation (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 2:20, 4:50, 7:15, 9:30; Mon-Thur: 4:50, 7:15, 9:30 Home on the Range (PG) Fri: 2:50, 5:00; SatSun: 12:45, 2:50, 5:00; Mon-Thur: 5:00 The Prince & Me (PG) Fri: 4:00; Sat-Sun: 1:00; Mon-Thur: 4:00 Scooby Doo 2 (PG) Fri: 3:05, 5:10, 7:20, 9:20; Sat-Sun: 1:00, 3:05, 5:10, 7:20, 9:20; Mon-Thur: 5:10, 7:20, 9:20 Passion of the Christ (R) Fri: 7:00, 9:35; Sat-Sun: 4:00, 7:00, 9:35; Mon-Thur: 7:00, 9:35 MASTERS 7 CINEMAS

Showtimes for Masters 7 Cinemas were not available at press time. Visit www.metrospirit.com for showtimes as they become available.

REGAL 12 CINEMAS

Movies Good 4/30 – 5/6 Secret Window (PG-13) 1:55, 4:10, 7:05,

9:10 Eurotrip (R) 2:25, 4:40, 7:30, 9:30 Dawn of the Dead (R) 2:10, 4:15, 7:15, 9:25 Twisted (R) 2:20, 4:35, 7:25, 9:35 Never Die Alone (R) 2:30, 4:45, 7:10, 9:05 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (PG) 2:35, 4:40, 7:35, 9:35 Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (PG-13) 2:40, 7:40 You Got Served (PG-13) 2:15, 4:30, 7:20,

9:25 Butterfly Effect (R) 2:00, 4:25, 7:00, 9:15 Cheaper by the Dozen (PG) 2:10, 4:20, 7:10,

9:20 Haunted Mansion (PG) 2:05, 4:10, 7:00,

9:00 The Last Samurai (R) 1:55, 4:50, 7:45

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METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004

M O V I E L I S T I N G S A R E S U B J E C T C H A N G E W I T H O U T N O T I C E .

T O

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Garden City Music Festival Showcases Best of Downtown

A

s this year’s Garden City Music Festival indicates, the Augusta Common has quickly become the best spot in town for outdoor events. Just ask Coco Rubio, Soul Bar owner and downtown Augusta enthusiast extraordinaire.

“I think this year is going to be an improvement over last year in that we’re used to using the Augusta Common now and have become more comfortable doing events there,” he says.

“Last year was the first time we used the Common and I think this year is just going to naturally be better than last year’s, with all the diverse bands, having 15 diverse groups, and having really good food and arts and crafts vendors also.”

The event starts at noon and runs until 11 p.m. May 8, so it’s a family-friendly way to spend the day.

“It’ll kick off at noon with the drum circle, which will be a good way to kick it off,” says Rubio. “It’s a great family event. We’re going to have everything from bluegrass to gospel to just traditional blues to reggae to fantastic jazz by Wycliffe Gordon. Some of the local bands are also playing. I’m just really excited about the lineup.”

In addition to the main event, there are

What: Garden City Music Festival When: Noon-11 p.m. May 8 Where: Augusta Common Tickets: $10 in advance and $15 the day of the show. Available at Fetch

two special events planned in conjunction with the festival. One is a special First Friday showcase of local bands in the Common beginning at 6 p.m. May 7. Daze of Haze kicks things off, followed by Tony Howard, the Josh Pierce Group, The Hellblinki Sextet and Jemani.

“They’re popular local bands that we just didn’t have room for on Saturday or some bands that just couldn’t get there on Saturday,” Rubio explains. “It was nice to include them. That will be free on Friday, and it will be the last day to buy advance tickets for the show on Saturday.”

The other event is a post-festival club crawl held at 17 participating downtown venues.

Patrons wearing a Garden City Music Festival wristband can enjoy live music at each of the clubs without having to pay a cover charge.

“It’s never been done before,” says Rubio.

“The idea for the club crawl is that we want to — and I’m saying we as the downtown live music venues — we want to do this regularly, maybe once every season, four times a year.

“It’s just kind of a neat thing to incorporate with the festival. That all goes back to doing this at the Common. It’s a great thing for downtown Augusta, as well as everyone who lives in Augusta. It just showcases downtown.”

10,000 square foot facility Cardio\ Weights\ Classes Weight Management Center Holistic Spa Eve's Café Aquatics Center (Coming Soon)

And don't forget Mom on May 9th DELIVERED GIFT BASKETS $99 includes certificate for 1 hour spa service, 1 day use of wellness center, and various organic products in a beautiful gift basket with card.

MOTHER\DAUGHTER PACKAGE #1 -

3830 Washington Rd., Suite 4 West Town Market Square

8690-SPA www.EvesGardenRetreat.com

30 minutes (mom\daughter) receive each of following: 30 minute massage, facial, pedicure, healthy drinks, snacks, use of wellness center (cardio, classes, weights, sauna). (Total $149)

MOTHER\DAUGHTER PACKAGE #2 - All of above for 1 hour, plus healthy lunches, nutritional analysis, skin care analysis. (Total $249)

Family Values we’re a

restaurant

Dog Treats, Serendipity, Metro Coffeehouse and Pyramid Music.

Info: 826-4702, www.soulbar.com/productions/gardencity.htm

437 Highland Ave, Surrey Center 706.737.6699 • Fax 706.733.8644 • Mon-Sat Lunch & Dinner

49

Pat Blanchard Band – 4 p.m.

The Gospel Originals – 4:30 p.m.

The Dark Corner Bluegrass Band – 5 p.m.

Cadillac Jones – 6 p.m.

Stewart & Winfield – 7 p.m.

The Reggae Cowboys – 8 p.m.

Col. Bruce Hampton & the Codetalkers – 9 p.m.

Wycliffe Gordon – 10 p.m.

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004

Stage Schedule Not Gaddy’s Drum Circle – Noon Chelsea Logue – 1 p.m.

Three Sixty – 1:30 p.m.

Park Bench Trio – 2 p.m.

Shaun Piazza Band – 2:30 p.m.

Redbelly Band – 3 p.m.

Wayne-C – 3:30 p.m.

By Lisa Jordan

! ! ! ! ! !

music

FORT GORDON IN DANGER? The Base Realignment and Closure (BRAC) Commission may list Fort Gordon as one of the bases scheduled for possible shut down in the near future.

The ‘CSRA Alliance for Fort Gordon’ has been formed to prevent this, but we need the help of the entire Augusta community to succeed.

Consider the vital role Fort Gordon plays in the CSRA. Fort Gordon is the CSRA’s largest employer with a workforce of more than 12,500 military and nearly 5,000 civilians.

Fort Gordon’s income impact of $1.2 billion goes directly into area retail stores, banks, real estate and other businesses.

28 percent of employed Richmond Countyresidents have jobs because of Fort Gordon; 14 percent in Columbia County.

Nearly 13,000 military retirees live in the CSRA, generating $214 million in military retirement income.

Fort Gordon impacts surrounding counties like Aiken, Edgefield, Burke, Jefferson & McDuffie.

FIVE FORT for the

“Five for the Fort” is your chance to help.

Many hands make light work. By giving just five dollars you can support Fort Gordon through the CSRA Alliance. Funds raised will be directed towards projects and programs committed to keeping Fort Gordon open.

Please support this effort to save not only Fort Gordon, but the entire CSRA and receive a CSRA Alliance “Defending the Future” bumper sticker!

I gave my five!

! ! !

I support the CSRA Alliance!

Enclosed is my gift of $5.

I’d like to give more, enclosed is my gift of: ! $10 ! $20 ! $50 ! $75 ! $100 ! $________________

Name Address

50

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004

City State

Zip

AUGUSTA NATIVE JOSH KELLEY WILL PERFORM AT THE MUSIC MIDTOWN FESTIVAL IN ATLANTA THIS WEEKEND.

Three Days of Music and More at Music Midtown Festival

by Lisa Jordan

M

usic Midtown comes to Atlanta once again April 30-May 2, with six stages nestled on a 40-acre site in the heart of midtown Atlanta.

If you decide to make the drive and check it out, here’s what you need to know.

The Acts Catch perfomers like Big Boi, Courtney Love, Ashlee Simpson, Cee-Lo, Damien Rice, Finger Eleven, Foo Fighters, Fountains of Wayne, George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic, Hoobastank, Jason Mraz, Jessica Simpson, Josh Kelley, Joss Stone, Journey, Kenny Wayne Shepherd, Ludacris, Puddle of Mudd, Smithereens, the Steve Miller Band, The Offspring and The Strokes.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

Phone Email

!

I would like to serve as a volunteer.

Please make checks payable to: CSRA Alliance Mail form and check to: P.O. Box 670 Augusta, GA 30903

Other Attractions There’s also an artists’ market, a cultural stage and Non-Profit Row, where you can pick up info on several participating nonprofit groups.

Ticket Info Purchase a three-day festival pass for $45 or a day pass for $40. Tickets are available through TicketMaster, at www.ticketmaster.com or by phone at 828-7700. You can also purchase tickets at the gate.

Tips and Tricks Leaving the festival and re-entering is permitted; however, make sure you pick up a wristband on your way out. That and your ticket will get you back in.

Keep comfortable and cool in appropriate shoes and outerwear, and don’t forget sunscreen. There are also 70 free water stations, so there’s no excuse to be dehydrated.

Disposable cameras are the only cameras allowed.

The Civic Center and North Avenue Station MARTA stops will put you near the festival.

Rain or shine, Music Midtown will go on, but if the weather looks especially questionable, call (770) MIDTOWN to confirm the festival’s status.

For Additional Info Check out www.musicmidtown.com.

music

CD Reviews

By Andy Stokes

Ben Kweller — On My Way (ATO)

The legend surrounding this album and last year’s “Rock ‘N’ Roll” is that Adams turned in “Love Is Hell” to be his fourth Lost Highway release. The label refused to release it, so Adams’ hurried the extremely sarcastic retort, “Rock ‘N’ Roll.” Then, “Love Is Hell” surfaced on the retail market in the form of a two EP split (part one was released on the same day as “Rock ‘N’ Roll”; part two about a month later). What made the powers that be accept one record and not the other? Wilco’s 2001 troubles with Sire Records were similar, but they held tightly to their original, refusing to compromise. Today, that album, “Yankee Hotel Foxtrot,” is mentioned in the same sentences as “Blonde on Blonde” and “Pet Sounds.”

Adams’ established style since the 1999 split of Whiskeytown has been equal parts roots-rock and pop, with an occasional airiness and frailty thrown in, though he’s usually lumped in with the alt-country crowd for simplicity’s sake. This being true, Lost Highway must’ve had problems with “Love Is Hell” in that it stayed too far within Adams’ “safezone.” “Rock ‘N’ Roll” sounded miles from his signature sound — like Paul Westerberg’s younger brother — and closer to the “new” New York sound of The Strokes, Interpol or any other band deliberately and unapologetically aping T. Rex or The Stooges. It essentially catered to the hipster elite, with its muted production and attenuating filters on every instrument, including vocals.

“Love Is Hell” is easily the better Ryan Adams album of the two, because that’s where Adams’ passion is. Though the rockers are few and far between and most of the 15 songs are piano-based ballads, that seems to be the direction Adams’ songwriting is heading. He abandons his charcoal-lined growl (normally reserved for use when the distortion pedal is stepped on) in favor of a drowsy swagger that better suits the airy use of empty space between notes. There’s actually very little filler here; it’s just unfortunate that Adams didn’t believe in the strength of the record enough to have fought for it.

Now this is more like it. For a few years there, it seemed as if Weezer’s potent influence had been mistakenly placed in the hands of unbearable acts like Good Charlotte, Simple Plan and the like, and was only appropriately channeled through Jimmy Eat World. But, good or very bad, all of these bands seemed only to be digesting Weezer’s self-titled debut (blue) album, which allows one to wonder if they even knew that “Pinkerton,” Weezer’s second, even existed. Ben Kweller certainly knows, and while his music draws upon other elements like early Todd Rundgren and Pixies, he runs them all through a filter of late ‘90s nostalgia rather than go straight to the source.

“Sha Sha,” the 2002 album that made Kweller a household name, fell just short of plan. It raised a few eyebrows, but those who took notice saw the rebirth of the angry white boy stance. Before his solo career, he spent time in the post-grunge trio Radish, which Polygram Records hoped would be the U.S. answer to Silverchair. They weren’t, and Radish’s one album, 1997’s “Restraining Bolt,” failed to answer the media hype that pre-empted it, and Radish disbanded several years later. After a move east from his native Texas, first to Connecticut, then Brooklyn, Kweller was picked up as a solo artist by Island Records.

His first solo outing, “Freak Out, It’s Ben Kweller,” went completely under the radar, and it wasn’t until two years had passed that Kweller returned with “Sha Sha.” “On My Way” is less of a polished stone than “Sha Sha” was, and the stripped-down overall feel of this record serves several functions: First, Kweller’s charmingly flawed voice is more available, and his lyrics are more intelligible. Second, the bare-but-still-gritty sound of his power-trio allows for a nice distinction among songs.

The album, as a whole, has a dot-dash rhythm of solid, angry rock songs and naked, fragile piano ballads. It’s a consistent effort, but eliminates first any expectations of growth as a songwriter.

www.metrospirit.com

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004

Ryan Adams — Love Is Hell (Lost Highway)

51

Karaoke Bar

TALENT QUEST NATIONAL KARAOKE CONTEST Every Thursday and Friday Night Thursday - Country Friday - Pop / Rock, Easy Listening / R&B $375,000 Total Prizes at the National Level Winner will compete at the finals in Laughlin, NV Corner of Greene & 11th Street • 823-2002 Mon-Fri 3pm-3am • Sat 6pm-2am

T

his week’s column is “Ladies Choice” as several new albums from musicians of the fairer sex reach the stores.

DIANA KRALL returns this week with her eighth album, “The Girl in the Other Room.” It’s her first full-length album since 2001’s “The Look of Love” and features, for the first time since her 1993 debut, her own compositions. But then again, when your new songwriting partner is your husband, who just happens to be ELVIS COSTELLO, that choice is easy.

Other songs covered on the disc include “Temptation” (TOM WAITS), “Black Crow” (JONI MITCHELL), “Stop This World” (MOSE ALLISON) and the great CHRIS SMITHER tune that BONNIE RAITT recorded a few years back, “Love Me Like a Man.” The album is a stripped, underproduced affair featuring her extremely underrated piano playing. The lovely Ms. Krall has intentionally stayed away from the older standards that made so many of her previous outings successful, a wise move as she continues to grow as an artist. Betcha Gershwin would have loved it …

Not the Guy from Sun Dept.

SAM PHILIPS obviously wants nothing to do with “Martinis and Bikinis” these days as her newie, “A Boot and a Shoe,” indicates. As with Diana Krall, Ms. Philips has recorded a low-key back collection that would not be out of place in a latenight jazz club. The album, produced by T-BONE BURNETT, features just a trio of musicians on most of the cuts. Any similarities to her 2001 disc “Fan Dance” are entirely intentional. “The two albums are like twins,” she remarked. Sure, the term “laid back” is used rather loosely these days, but as an NPR reviewer recently remarked about Ms. Philips, “James Ellroy wrote whole novels in this mood.”

It’s out now.

The amazing success of NORAH JONES seems to have affected many female artists these days, MARY CHAPIN CARPENTER included. Her new album, “Between Here

and Gone,” in the stores this week, is her first new release since “Time* Sex* Love*” from three years ago. The 45year-old singer wrote all 12 songs on the disc, but only a couple have a hint of her former Nashville sound. Another re-invention of sorts from an established talent who did not have to take such a big risk.

New Wave 2004 Dept.

PATTI SMITH. I’ll never forget that crazy night back in 1975 when I happened to catch her at the long-defunct Alex Cooley’s Electric Ballroom in Atlanta during her “Horses” tour. Though most know her from her lone top-40 hit “Because the Night,” Ms. Smith has always pushed the envelope just as PATSY CLINE and JANIS JOPLIN did in their day. This week sees the release of her ninth album, “trampin.’”

Not surprisingly, the subject matter is political and controversial (Gee, I don’t think she’s a Republican) and rocks in the process. More tunes and thoughts on her new “trampin’” can be found on her Web site, PattiSmith.net.

Turner's Quick Notes ROBERT SMITH and THE CURE have their next long-player, their 13th, ready in June.

Texas Rock ‘N’ Roll Hall-of-Famers ZZTOP celebrate their 35th year as a band with a U.S. tour that visits Atlanta’s Chastain Park August 16. ALLISON KRAUSS AND UNION STATION, with guests that include JERRY DOUGLAS, RALPH STANLEY and THE WHITES, have two nearby dates for their “Great High Mountain Tour,” with May 23 set for Greenville's Bi-Lo Center and June 8 at the Fox in Atlanta. JESSICA SIMPSON and COURTNEY LOVE are late additions to the Music Midtown Festival in Atlanta, which runs April 30-May 2.

Turner’s Rock ‘N’ Roll Jeopardy A. This Philly-based songwriter wrote the 1985 million seller “Every Time You Go Away” for Paul Young.

Q. Who is Daryl Hall?

Greene Streets

music by turner

52

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004

“WHAT A WINNER! Our audience clamored for more… clearly a marvelous presentation.”

Midsummer Macon May 7, 8, 14, 15, 20, 22 . Dinner at 7 pm - Show at 8 pm $32 Off Post Civilians $30 Seniors (65 and over) Retirees, DA Civilians & Active Duty E8 and above $20 Active Duty E7 and below $15 Show Only

Please call 793-8552 for reservations and information or online at www.fortgordon.com Bring your photo ID to enter Fort Gordon.

ZZ TOP

B Y

E D

T U R N E R

s g tin

h g i S

Tiffany Ell inger and John Eckert at the Gertrude Herber t Institute of Art .

Jennifer Burton, Jennifer Adams and Crystal Adams at Coyote.s.

Nathal ie Brouilla c, Betsy Cain and Huon Le at the Gertrude He rbert Institute of Art.

Rose Marie Leal, Jason Guy and Yo Curry at Stool Pigeons.

Blue Wynn and Russell ee en R r, ye A e ki Bir eer Bust. at the Border B

tta n, Sarah Trombe so er nd A in st Ju Ryan Anderson, eer Bust. at the Border B ks ee W h ic R d an

Jenni Van Wyk, David Jones and Cheryl Grace at the Border Beer Bust.

53

Photos by Michael E. Johnson

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004

Rick Linder, Terry Wick, Wa lter Wright and Keith Craw at the Border Beer Bust.

at d L ena Kyle n a t it W is edies, C hr .

Brandi Rem Coyote s.

music minis

So Long, Suckas!

These bands are calling it quits: Guided by Voices, Wu-Tang Clan, Orbital, Dendi. Apparently, Guided by Voices wants to quit while they’re ahead. They’ve been playing rock star for a long time, and now seems like a good time for at least one member of the band. Officially, anyway. Members of Wu-Tang Clan say they will axe the band after creating “closure” for the fans, so there will be one more album to achieve that. At least one more.

Maybe two. (Closure? How about beating the hell out of a dead horse?) The brothers of Orbital, Phil and Paul Hartnoll, are simply sick of each other.

They’ve been in studios together for about 15 years now, and maintain it’s “time for a change,” according to online sources. As for Denali, sources

cite “interpersonal strife” as the cause of the band’s dismemberment.

Billy Joel Goes Smack … Again Though he was not suspected of drug or alcohol use, the fact remains that Billy Joel smashed his car into someone’s house. And it’s not the first time he’s done something like that. Last year, he ran into a tree. He was not Breathalyzed. In 2002, a crash led to his checking into a substance abuse and psychiatric center.

Pointer Sister Drug Charges On April 26, June Pointer Whitmore was charged with cocaine possession.

Reportedly, Whitmore had already been kicked out of the legendary singing group by Anita and Ruth Pointer for substance abuse problems.

COMPILED BY RHONDA JONES

54

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004

Information compiled from online and other music news sources.

AFTER DARK

ADAM HOOD COMES TO AIKEN MAY 1.

THE HIDEAWAY IN

SHAMELESS DAVE AN D HIS COMPANIONS, TH E MIRACLE WHIPS, PE FRIDAY AND SATURDAY RFORM AT THE BLIND PIG.

Thursday, 29th Andy’s – Open Jam The Bee’s Knees – Meditate on This!

Blind Pig – The Pat Blanchard Band Cafe Du Teau – James McIntyre Continuum – Playa*Listic Thursday Coyote’s – Billy Dean D. Timm’s – The Section Finish Line Cafe – DJ Fox’s Lair – Brent and Justin Greene Streets – Karaoke Honky Tonk – DJ Dougie Joe’s Underground – Ruskin Locals – Preston and Weston Metro Coffeehouse – The Jazz Collective Michael’s – Marilyn Adcock Playground – Open Mic The Pourhouse – Karaoke with the Pourhouse Friends Robbie’s Sports Bar – DJ Rusty

Shannon’s – Karaoke with Peggy Wheeler Tavern – DJ Flashback Buddy

Friday, 30th Aiken Brewing Co. – Redbelly Band Andy’s – Scott Holt Back Roads – DJ The Bee’s Knees – Projections and Selections Blind Pig – Shameless Dave and the Miracle Whips Borders – Jim Perkins Cafe Du Teau – James McIntyre Charlie O’s – Live Band Club Argos – Spectral Erosa Goth Night with DJ Triskyl, Claire Storm Coconuts – Bikini Contest Coliseum – Barbara’s Birthday Bash Coyote’s – The Rhes Reeves Band D. Timm’s – The Section El Rodeo – DJ Sontiago

Finish Line Cafe – DJ Fox’s Lair – Roger, After-Golf Party Greene Streets – Karaoke The Helm – Preston and Weston The Highlander – Ziz Honky Tonk – DJ Doug Romanella Joe’s Underground – Sabo and the Scorchers, Pam’s Graduation Last Call – DJ Richie Rich Little Honky Tonk – Live Entertainment Locals – Karaoke Marlboro Station – Dance Party Michael’s – Marilyn Adcock Modjeska – DJ Kenny Ray Ms. Carolyn’s – The Horizon Partridge Inn – Mellow-D The Pourhouse – The Recaps featuring Sassy Brass R. Gabriel’s – Ethan Perkins Robbie’s Sports Bar – DJ Rusty The Shack – DJ Chip

Shannon’s – Bart Bell, Allen Black Soul Bar – Disco Hell Stillwater Tap Room – Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold, Tater Wheeler Tavern – DJ Flashback Buddy

Saturday, 1st

Andy’s – Open Jam Back Roads – DJ The Bee’s Knees – Jazz Sessions with Moniker Blind Pig – Shameless Dave and the Miracle Whips Cafe Du Teau – James McIntyre Charlie O’s – Live Band Club Argos – DJ Rana Coconuts – DJ Tim Coliseum – Lauren Alexander Coyote’s – The Rhes Reeves Band D. Timm’s – The Section

continued on page 56

“The Original Home of F & B Night!”

Sun 11pm-2am

$2.50 $2.50 $2.50 $1.00 Jager

Jager Bombs

$1.50 -

Cuervo

Bud Light Bottles

Off Entire Bar

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004

AFTER DARK brought to you in part by T.G.I. Friday’s

55

continued from page 55

Sunday, 2nd Adams Lounge – DJ Cafe Du Teau – The Last Bohemian Quartet Marlboro Station – Miss Magnolia Pageant Robbie’s Sports Bar – DJ Rusty The Shack – Karaoke with DJ Joe Steel, Sasha Somewhere in Augusta – John Kolbeck T.G.I. Friday’s – Pat Blanchard

Monday, 3rd Andy’s – Members Only Coliseum – Q.A.F. Continuum – Monday Madness Fox’s Lair – Open Mic Greene Streets – Karaoke

DJ Baby Anne – Modjeska – May 14

Tuesday, 4th

Drivin’ N Cryin’ – Imperial Theatre – May 21

The Drive-By Truckers, Stewart and Winfield – Imperial Theatre – May 29

Elsewhere

Wednesday, 5th

Blind Pig – Randy Carver and El Dorado Deluxe Coconuts – Karaoke Coliseum – Wacky Wednesdays Continuum – Open Mic Jam Sessions Coyote’s – The Rhes Reeves Band D. Timm’s – The Section Fox’s Lair – Open Mic, Karaoke Greene Streets – Karaoke Joe’s Underground – Keith “Fossill” Gregory Mellow Mushroom – The Kilpatrick Project Michael’s – Marilyn Adcock Modjeska – Theology on Tap: Catholicism in Africa Playground – Karaoke Robbie’s Sports Bar – DJ Rusty Somewhere in Augusta – Live Entertainment Soul Bar – Live Jazz

Upcoming Honestly – Crossroads – May 7 The Gibson Brothers – Stillwater Tap Room – May 7

Food & Beverage Sunday!

Prince – Philips Arena, Atlanta – April 30 David Allan Coe – Cowboys Atlanta, Kennesaw, Ga. – April 30 Music Midtown Festival – Midtown Atlanta – April 30May 2 Orgy – Masquerade, Atlanta – May 3 Edie Brickell – Variety Playhouse, Atlanta – May 4 George Jones – Fox Theatre, Atlanta – May 6 Melissa Etheridge – Roxy Theatre, Atlanta – May 6-8 Ginuwine – Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta – May 7 Blink 182 – HiFi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta – May 7 Dirty Dozen Brass Band – Cotton Club, Atlanta – May 7 Brad Paisley – Wild Bill’s, Duluth, Ga. – May 7 David Bowie, Stereophonics – Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta – May 8 Keith Urban, Kenny Chesney – Bi-Lo Center, Greenville, S.C. – May 8 George Carlin – Fox Theatre, Atlanta – May 8 Nelly Furtado – Roxy Theatre, Atlanta – May 11 Blondie – Earthlink Live, Atlanta – May 13 Rick Springfield – Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta – May 14 Todd Rundgren – Roxy Theatre, Atlanta – May 14

New Happy Hour Times!

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Food & Beverage Sunday!

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Many tickets are available through TicketMaster outlets by calling 828-7700, or online at www.ticketmaster.com.

Tickets may also be available through Tix Online by calling 278-4TIX, online at www.tixonline.com or at their outlet location in Southgate Plaza. After Dark listings are subject to change without notice.

Deadline for inclusion in After Dark calendar is Tuesday at 4 p.m. Contact Rhonda Jones or Lisa Jordan by calling 738-1142, faxing 736-0443 or e-mailing to rhonda.jones@metrospirit.com or lisa.jordan@metrospirit.com.

NEW HAPPY HOUR

New Happy Hour Times!

$2 Appetizers

Blind Willie McTell Blues Festival – Thomson – May 22

Food & Beverage Sunday!

$1.50 Drafts

Lady Chablis – Coliseum – May 21

$2 Appetizers

$2 Appetizers

The Crooked Jades – Stillwater Tap Room – May 21

Tracy Lawrence – Cowboys Atlanta, Kennesaw, Ga. – May 14 A Perfect Circle – The Arena at Gwinnett Center, Atlanta – May 15 Fleetwood Mac – Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta – May 15 Doc Watson – Variety Playhouse, Atlanta – May 21 The Shins – Variety Playhouse, Atlanta – June 13 Atlanta Fest – Six Flags Over Georgia, Atlanta – June 16-19 AthFest – Various Venues, Athens, Ga. – June 17-20 Vans Warped Tour ’04 – HiFi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta – July 28 Siouxsie Sioux – Variety Playhouse, Atlanta – Sept. 11

$1.50 Drafts

Food & Beverage Sunday!

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004

Mayfest – May Park – May 15

Adams Lounge – Keith “Fossill” Gregory Andy’s – Members Only The Bee’s Knees – 12*Tone Lounge Coliseum – Tournament Tuesday D. Timm’s – The Section Fox’s Lair – Open Mic Greene Streets – Karaoke Joe’s Underground – Keith “Fossill” Gregory Metro Coffeehouse – Irish Night with Sibin Michael’s – Marilyn Adcock

New Happy Hour Times!

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Garden City Music Festival – Augusta Common – May 8

Joe’s Underground – John Kolbeck Mellow Mushroom – Open Mic Michael’s – Mike Swift

New Happy Hour Times!

Finish Line Cafe – DJ, Karaoke Fox’s Lair – Andy McCraw Greene Streets – Karaoke The Helm – Karaoke Contest The Hideaway – Adam Hood Honky Tonk – DJ Doug Romanella Joe’s Underground – Medicine Hat Last Call – DJ Richie Rich Little Honky Tonk – Jason Sikes Marlboro Station – Bad Boys, Jonathan, Giovanni, Kelly Metro Coffeehouse – Live Afternoon Bluegrass Michael’s – Marilyn Adcock Modjeska – Groove International with DJ Carlitos Playground – The Sixth Hour, Remnant The Pourhouse – The Recaps featuring Sassy Brass R. Gabriel’s – Shattered Robbie’s Sports Bar – DJ Rusty The Shack – DJ Buckwheat Shannon’s – Bamboo Soul Bar – Soul*Bar*Sound*Lab Wheeler Tavern – DJ Flashback Buddy

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n March, at the latest trial of a former executive charged with looting his company during the 1990s, ex-employees of Adelphia Communications said that company founder John Rigas (1) was once taking out so many cash advances that his son (also an Adelphia executive) had to limit him to $1 million a month; (2) required extensive prodding to return 22 company-owned luxury cars after he resigned in 2002; and (3) in a familiar finding in cases like this, had Adelphia pay for a $700,000 golf club membership and the extravagant wedding of another son, Michael.

News That Sounds Like a Joke Junior-lightweight boxer Nate Campbell, a heavy favorite to beat Robbie Peden in Temecula, Calif., in March, controlled the fight and began to taunt Peden in the fifth round, even dropping his hands to his side, daring Peden to hit him; Peden then immediately knocked Campbell out with one punch. And in a December Boston Globe story about wild bears roaming Denville, N.J., animal control officer Meredith Petrillo reported solving the problem of one bear’s nesting (“denning”) underneath a homeowner’s deck: Petrillo advised the resident to have her husband urinate under the deck (after which the respectful bear began denning elsewhere).

What Century Are We In? The Georgia House of Representatives voted 160-0 to prohibit piercing of female genitals, even of adult women eager for the procedure (March).

(One sponsor, Rep. Bill Heath, when told that some women seek such adornment, was incredulous: “What? I’ve never seen such a thing.”)

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And They Say Government Is Inefficient When her 14-year-old son died in a farming accident last July in Beaumont, Texas (pronounced dead at 2:20 p.m. on the 31st), Melissa Devillier knew that the boy’s Social Security survivor’s benefits (from his dad’s death in 1992) would be terminated, but government was startlingly swift to act. On Aug. 11, it told the mother that since the boy had not lived out the entire month of July, he didn’t qualify for July benefits, and federal law required her to pay back the $1,025 July advance she had already received.

Great Art in Toronto!

• Toronto, Ontario, artist Jason Kronewald, 29, creates claylike portraits of celebrities, but using hundreds of pieces of used chewing gum instead of clay, according to a March profile by Reuters news service. He said he doesn’t chew, himself, but buys gum and asks his friends to chew it. “I’m not into picking it off seats in the theater. I like the gum to be mine.” His “Gum Blondes” series includes Britney Spears and Pamela Anderson.

• Another Toronto artist, Istvan Kantor, won one of the country’s most prestigious awards in March even though he (called “Canada’s leading shock artist” by The New York Times) is best known for bloody performance art scenes, such as wearing the dripping carcasses of cats as a hat and posing himself in various positions to allow

blood to drip from body apertures in a series that one critic said was a tribute to blood as “the spurting, contagious prima material of life.”

(Also, a February BBC News profile touted Madras, India, artist Shihan Hussaini’s dedication to using blood to paint 50 portraits of his hero, a Tamil Nadu state official named Jayalalitha. At one point, Hussaini was drawing so much of his own blood that he had to hire a nurse.)

Least Competent Criminals In Santa Fe, N.M., in March, after police recovered $46,000 worth of jewelry near an abandoned safe in a ravine, they concluded that burglars had stolen the 180-pound safe from a nearby home, taken it down the road and tried mightily to break it open, but failed, finally just pushing it down the ravine, at which point (unknown to them, because they had left) it finally burst open.

People Different From Us Corinth, Vt., farmer Chris Weathersbee’s house was raided by state police in February and the 44 most-sickly of his goats were seized, leaving him 70 still residing in the house, which is outfitted for them with hay covering the floors to a height of about two feet (and, of course, including manure). Weathersbee, 63, told the Valley News (Lebanon, N.H.) that he personally only started sleeping in the house in January (because of the weather); before that, he had slept in the barn with the goats that couldn’t fit in the house. An educated man with a nimble mind, he denied that he is a hoarder and asked authorities for more time to find a home for his goats, since he believes that any confiscated by the state would surely be killed (or neutered, which he said violates animals’ “right” to procreate).

Undignified Deaths After a bout of heavy drinking, a landscape worker, riding home with his buddies, fell to his death while trying to urinate out of the open door of their car at about 25 mph (Croesgoch, Wales, November). And a 46-year-old man became the most recent to fall to his death on the side of a highway after stopping his car in the dark and searching for a place to urinate (but falling 300 feet off a cliff) (Columbia, Calif., March).

Also, in the Last Month ...

An Optimist Club (affiliated with Optimist International in St. Louis) opened in Baghdad, reported The New York Times. And Brazilian legislator Antonio Jose de Moraes Souza was removed from office for allowing a physiciansupporter to hand out free Viagra at his campaign rallies. And from March 29 to April 6, there were no reported gunshot injuries in the New York City borough of The Bronx, the first such week in at least a decade and probably much longer, in that during the equivalent week 10 years ago, there were 30 shootings and 12 murders.

— Chuck Shepherd © United Press Syndicate

Brezsny’s Free Will

haul, Virgo, it’s important to side with Ferlinghetti for now. You need less knowledge and more imagination, fewer of the hard facts and more of the dreamy truths.

Astr ology ARIES (March 21-April 19)

any other extreme or immoderate behavior that may still be generating misconceptions.

In Montgomery, Ala., there is an intersection where Jefferson Davis Avenue meets Rosa Parks Avenue. The first street is named after the president of the secessionist slave-owning states in America’s Civil War. The other is named in honor of the black woman whose brave actions in 1954 helped launch the civil rights movement. I’d like to suggest that this place is a good symbol for the crossroads where you now stand, Aries. Why? Meditate on these two possibilities. 1. The controlling, dogmatic rebel in you has come head-to-head with the flexible, freedom-loving rebel in you. 2.

The loud, bellicose fighter in you is in a struggle with the poised, strategic fighter in you.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

Though he wrote almost five centuries ago, comic novelist Francois Rabelais provided the perfect advice for you this week: “It behooves all adventurers to treat their good luck with reverence, neither bothering nor upsetting it.” In other words, Cancerian, don’t spend even a minute wondering why your life is blessed with so much grace right now. Refrain from analyzing it, discoursing about it or theorizing on how you might be able to preserve it. Instead, use it exuberantly and with a devout sense of gratitude. Explore in vivid detail what it feels like to be a free-wheeling adventurer.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

Close your eyes and take yourself back in time to the moment when you slipped free of your mother’s womb. Imagine your original breath; recreate the sensation of air rushing into your lungs for the first time. Remember it as the end of your warm, dark, watery existence and the beginning of your sojourn in this bright, dry, spacious world.

Dwell there in that simulation for a while, Taurus, then consider this: You will soon experience, in a metaphorical way and on a higher level, another first breath. Like the earlier version, it will be both unsettling and vivifying, a time of poignancy and celebration.

Now that you’re in the ambition-building phase of your yearly cycle, I figure you’re ready for a fresh set of cute aphorisms. Use the following to fuel the fire in your belly, the chutzpah in your heart and the gleam in your eye. 1. If you don’t run your own life, someone else will. 2. Opportunity often slips by unrecognized, disguised as hard work. 3.

Life isn’t about finding yourself. It’s about creating yourself. 4. Be willing to give up what you are for what you can become. 5. Follow your dreams, except the one where you’re giving a speech in your underwear.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

The influential New York Times Book Review may soon begin to emphasize nonfiction books and cut back on its coverage of literary fiction. “The most compelling ideas tend to be in the nonfiction world,” Times executive editor Bill Keller said in an interview, launching the rumors. Poet Lawrence Ferlinghetti decried such a move, telling the San Francisco Chronicle’s Heidi Benson that “the national consciousness has (already) been taken over by the technological and pragmatic.” He’d like to see more fiction and poetry. Regardless of where you might stand on this issue for the long

Years ago, rock star Sting bragged about the extravagant tantric lovemaking that he and his wife enjoyed. Their erotic sessions sometimes lasted for eight consecutive hours, he said. But recently he confessed that his earlier claims had been overstated. “What I didn’t say about the eight-hour marathons,” he told British TV station ITV, “was that they included four hours of begging and then dinner and a movie.” I urge you to regard Sting as your role model in the coming week, Gemini. Spend some time making good-humored corrections of your past hyperbole. While you’re at it, atone for

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selection 36 Racing initials 39 Liquid ___ (refrigerant) 40 By hook or by crook, e.g.

41 Plains tribe 42 Camera ___ (film festival prize) 43 Pounding tool 44 Folk singer Seeger 45 Cable giant 47 Wizard 49 1950’s Firedomes 53 “Charge” missing from 18-, 20-, 55and 61-Across, and 11- and 28-Down 54 “Wishing won’t make ___” 55 Plum permit?

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE C R U D

C O N E

C L I P

F R A T

Y I E L D

A C M E S

S D E E A F L

A L S O

P E T E A C H E R B Y T E S

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A L I E N R E D I R E C T

S T A A N N T C E L A D A I A S R T H E E D P A R T T Y O U N E N N S E E

P S A L M S E X E M P T

A Q U A S A M A R Y L L I S

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pitcher?

63 Scamp 64 Quirk 65 Soccer great Maradona 66 Oil holder 67 When Can. celebrates Thanksgiving 68 Sound some strings 69 Nations Unies members DOWN

1 Extra: Abbr.

2 Extra 3 Like a kid at the

circus 4 Buck 5 Deem appropriate 6 Florence’s river 7 Unsuccessful candidate in the 2004 primaries 8 Ahead of the pack 9 Amish growth 10 Sushi stock 11 Actuary?

12 Nutty cake 13 Couples 19 Point on a line graph 21 Bottom, slangily 25 Cookie holder 26 Domain 27 Blue Bonnet, e.g.

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SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Have you ever gone to a film merely looking for lightweight diversion, but instead you get bowled over by a moving scene that inspires you to change your life for the better? Have you ever sought out a friend in the hope of receiving unconditional approval, but she gently points out a flaw in your thinking that helps you shed a pernicious delusion?

Fate will offer you life-enhancing substitutions like these in the coming week, Pisces. Don’t be fanatically attached to fulfilling your expectations.

Just because you’re born under a particular sign doesn’t mean you’re forever obligated to be a perfect example of all its classical qualities. On the contrary, a growing number of visionary astrologers recommend regular rebellions against your type. To do so keeps you honest; it prevents you from being consumed by habit. The coming weeks will be an especially favorable time for you to periodically elude the Scorpio trance. It almost doesn’t matter which alternatives you experiment with, but I believe you’ll gain a lot by trying on Libran and Aquarian perspectives.

Forty years ago, three repetitions of a 60-second TV commercial were enough to reach 80 percent of the population. Today it takes 117 such plugs to accomplish the same effect. Why? The proliferation of cable TV stations and other media means that a business has to work much harder to spread the word about its product. You’ll face a similar prospect in the coming weeks and months, Sagittarius. Because your competition will be expanding and multiplying, you’ll have to grow in order to keep from falling behind. I think that’s good news, though. The pressure to improve will be healthy for you.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

“Desire makes everything blossom,” mused French novelist Marcel Proust. “Possession makes

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You can call Rob Brezsny, day or night, for your

Expanded Weekly Horoscope

1-900-950-7700

$1.99 per minute • 18 & over • touchtone phone required • C/S 612-373-9785 • www.freewillastrology.com

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— © Rob Brezsny

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AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

I won’t be upset with you if you decide to buy a case of gourmet chocolate, have your bathroom floor redone in a style resembling the throne room of a seventeenth-century French king or get cosmetic surgery on your least-favorite physical feature. The astrological omens suggest that you have every right to splurge in order to make yourself feel really good. However, there are less materialistic, more soul-satisfying ways to channel your mandate for lavish self-fulfillment. Consider the possibility of hiring a coach or going on a meditation retreat, for instance. Revamp your diet so it’s twice as healthy as it is now, or find a way to release the natural endorphins in your brain on a more regular basis.

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Puzzle by Lee Glickstein and Nancy Salomon

29 Some spa

mixtures

30 Issues 34 Single-edged

knife

35 First name in

cooking

37 Lug 38 Equal

41 International

trade place 43 S.F. hours 46 Nitwit 48 Make do 49 Mark of conformity?

50 Work ___ 51 Footnote abbr.

52 So-called “cradle

of civilization”

56 Sauce brand 57 ___-Penh 58 The rain in

Spain

59 Tallow source 60 Some volleyball

hits

62 Bar-goers’ needs

For answers, call 1-900-285-5656, $1.20 a minute; or, with a credit card, 1-800-814-5554.

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METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004

New York Times Crossword Puzzle

6

ACROSS Run up Building block It’s a mess Range orphan Oscar winner Zellweger “This ___ shall pass” Hippo tail?

Zoo for newborns?

Ceremonial drumstick?

Suffix with sermon Stretch out “A Taste for Death” author Fall behind in a race Police blotter abbr.

Best friend’s dinner, maybe

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

U.S. President Woodrow Wilson suffered a debilitating stroke in 1919. For the next 17 months, until his term was over, his wife Edith was the de facto Commander in Chief of the United States. She hid the severity of his incapacity, allowing only his doctors to see him as he hid in his sickroom at the White House. Meanwhile, she issued a steady stream of policy decisions, signed treaties and presidential directives, always written in her own hand. I believe you Libras now have a chance to play a role comparable to Edith’s: To be the power behind the throne. Here are your words to live by, courtesy of philanthropist Art Rennison: “There is no end to what can be accomplished if you don’t care who gets the credit.”

everything wither and fade.” If the first part of that quote is true, Capricorn, you’ll be in full bloom any minute now. The astrological omens suggest that your longings will explode with the forceful beauty of five dozen long-stemmed red roses arrayed in a spiral on a silk-covered bed.

But what about the second half of Proust’s quote?

Will you feel withered and faded once you have possessed what you desire? Not if you’re a student of cycles; not if you’re one of those wise, highly evolved Capricorns who’s as skilled at having as you are at wanting.

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y girlfriend of five months and I had an active sex life — until this weekend. After a rough week at work, I wasn’t in the mood (a rare occurrence), so I suggested we just cuddle. For 10 minutes, she kept making advances, and became furious that I continued to “refuse” her. She rolled over and lay silent for a near eternity, then told me I had to leave. I said if I left then, I’d be leaving permanently. I asked her three times if she really meant it, and she assured me she did.

The next day, I returned to pick up some shirts and tools. I asked if I could give her a hug, and she just stood frozen while I did.

Several hours later, she phoned to tell me to pick up the “rest” of my things. It turns out she’d boxed up everything I’d ever touched at her place, including an unused bar of soap.

When I tried to reason with her, she shut the door in my face. I understand that maybe her ego was bruised, or maybe something else was bothering her ... but surely I deserve the same consideration I would give her. Should I call her when she’s calmed down, or just walk away from this relationship and chalk it up to a learning experience?

— Vixen-ized What kind of man walks away from a relationship problem like this? One who doesn’t have the option of strapping himself to a missile and rocketing away from it at 2,100 mph, thanks to the dearth of backyard missile launchers for the consumer market. Thankfully, there’s nothing stopping you from attempting to break the landspeed record for humans on foot.

If you’re like a lot of people, you went into this thing hoping it would be one of those relationships right out of the movies. Just when you had yourself convinced that you were Tom Hanks and she was Meg Ryan (minus the fluctuating duck lips), you turned over in bed, horrified to find that you’re actually Sigourney and you’ve been spooning with the Alien. (“Is that your slimy fang in my jugular, or are you just happy to see me?”)

Because you’re a man, you’re inclined to take the handyman approach to relationship problems: “Surely I can fix this, if only I can figure out what made it explode.” This is what leads a man to spend an entire weekend rewiring a $12 toaster. Granted, his efforts could touch thousands of lives — after toasting a

After two years in a relationship with (I now realize) the most neurotic woman I’ve ever met, I finally collected the remains of my manhood and ended it. Three weeks later, why am I fighting the urge to call her?

— Missing Misery There’s a great void in your life. Just three weeks ago, you had a full-time job reassuring your girlfriend that you and the rest of the galaxy weren’t talking about her, plotting against her or pointing and laughing at her “Hi, Helens” — that upper arm flab that jiggles while waving. (Wait, are you saying she’s flabby?!) You can’t possibly miss living like that; you just miss knowing what to expect. But, wait — you do know what to expect. It might be time to perform a romantic reversal. Instead of putting little notes in her sock drawer to show how much you care, put them in your own to tell yourself why you shouldn’t. As a last line of defense, tape romantic verse on your telephone to remind yourself how the relationship made you feel; preferably something from Shakespeare’s earlier drafts, like “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’d rather come back as a squashed cockroach than be stuck with you.”

— © 2004, Amy Alkon

Got A Problem?

Write Amy Alkon 171 Pier Ave. Box 280

Resume to: Employment, Metro Spirit P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914

bagel knocks out the power grid, and “Everybody Loves Raymond” is replaced by “Everybody Lights Candles And Plays Charades In Front of Their Darkened TV Screens.”

But, but ... maybe she wasn’t herself that day.

Actually, yes she was. Just rerun the relationship footage, and you’ll see the signs were there all along: “More coffee, dear?” she asked, her third eyeball gleaming in the morning light. The big question is why it took you five months to get a clue. “What about my needs?” you wonder, stumbling around shell-shocked, collecting your clothes and tools. When did she ever say you got to have needs? Chances are, you really, really wanted to believe she was a sweet, kind little lady looking for love, so you refused to look at all the evidence that she’s a winged, soaphurling beastess looking for staff. In the future, avoid closing your eyes at the scary parts and hoping everything turns out OK in the end. Sure, that works in the movie theater. Then again, that’s where street hookers look like Julia Roberts and end up with multimillionaire husbands instead of venereal diseases. __________________________________

Santa Monica, CA 90405 AdviceAmy@aol.com

To become a member, call 1-888-223-7044 To listen and respond to ads, call 1-900-226-8908 Calls cost $1.99 per min., Must be 18+.

,call 1-866-832-4685

To respond to ads using a A VERY SERIOUS WOMAN SBPF, 34, mother of 3, nurse, independent and secure, enjoys church, movies, dining. looking for commitment-minded, levelheaded, spiritual, spontaneous, respectful man, who truly appreciates a good woman.

Sound like you? !777612 FRIEND IN FAITH SBF, 47, Capricorn, N/S, involved with church, very creative, artistic, designs tile and cards. Seeking BCM, 44-58, involved with church, who loves the Lord. !707742 YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO SBF, 39, Leo, N/S, seeks BM, 38-45, downto-earth, very direct and straightforward, to have fun with. !582549

SEEKING WOMAN WITH GOALS SM, 32, medium build, dark complexion, seeks average woman, 20-45, who enjoys movies, dining, walks in the park. !200166 LIKES HAVING FUN BM, 26, likes parties, going out and having fun, movies, bowling, hanging out with friends and more. If I sound interesting, call me. !124754 VERY ROMANTIC PERSON BM, 35, would love to take you in my arms and hold you tight. Seeking a woman to share quality time, walks in the park, movies and quiet times together. !995604 SPICE IT UP SWM, 31, with blue-green eyes, and a goatee, loves spicy foods, and is in search of a woman for outdoor fun. !992800 SEND ME AN ANGEL SWM, 39, 5’10”, 150lbs, mustache, goatee, shaved head, into hard rock, heavy metal.

Seeking compatible, cool SF, 32-55, friends first, possibly more. !984481 EYES STILL BLUE 6’, 190lbs, brown/blue, handsome, chef, pianist, will send photo. Seeks pretty female companion, 26-39, no kids, light smoker/drinker okay, for traveling, dating, possible LTR. !882215 NASCAR FAN SWM, 39, 5’11”, brown/hazel, average build, Libra, smoker, seeks an old-fashioned WF, 21-45, for LTR. !932866

We Purchase Fine Swiss Watches, Estate Jewelry and Diamonds.

Monday-Saturday 10am-9pm 2635 Washington Road | Augusta, Georgia 30904 | 706.738.7777 www.windsorjewelers.net GIVE IT A SHOT! SBM, 25, 5’4’’, 180lbs, muscular build, likes bowling, shooting pool, vacationing.

Seeking SF, 18-31, for friends first, LTR. !200325 ONE IN A MILLION Clean-cut, easygoing SB, 40. 5’7”, 170lbs, looking for a woman, 22-48, to spend my life with. I know how to treat a woman. I enjoy travel, movies, outdoors and more. !124879 HONESTY IS BEST POLICY Sincere man, 25, works as a cook, and is looking for a woman who believes in honesty and romance. !122303 BLACK TEDDY BEAR SBM, 27, is looking for a Queen, who treats the other person in her life right, and expects the same in return. !123000 ELIGIBLE BACHELOR Businessman and entrepreneur, 44, 6’, 170lbs, N/S, N/D, serious, tall, tan, trim, talented, educated. Seeking exceptional SF, 24-37, for exclusive relationship. !115278

BY MY SIDE SWM, 51, 6’, self-employed, looking for friendship. I like movies, long drives, good times. You: SWF, 35-55, same interests, companionship first. !986387 VELVET TEDDY BEAR SBM, 37, Sagittarius, N/S, in construction field, seeks an intelligent, attractive woman, 23-45, with healthy full figure, loving, caring, affectionate. !936899 GIVE ME A TRY SBM, 25, 5’3”, with a muscular build, seeks a woman for a relationship based on friendship, trust and fun. !993092

GIVE ME A CALL SWM, 43, 5’10”, 155lbs, enjoys cooking, movies, the outdoors, romance, laughter, good conversation, good company and more. Seeking outgoing, interesting, sincere SWF, 24-35, for friendship, maybe more. !989836 HOW DO I SOUND TO YOU? Handsome, financially secure SWM, 54, enjoys the outdoors, long walks, swimming, dining out, biking and much more. Seeking intelligent, caring, trustworthy SW/AF, 3855, for friendship, maybe more. !960841 FRIENDS OR...

SWM, 36, 165lbs, athletic type, likes watching movies, some evenings out, dining, dancing. Seeking SW/HF, 20-45, slim to average build, same mindset, for possible LTR. !943034 ENJOY MY TIME SBM, 46, 5’8”, 190lbs, looking for SB/WF, 25-50, N/S, likes watching tv, going to the movies, cooking. Friendship and romantic times first, maybe more. !945941 NO MORE GAMES SWM, 34, 6’4”, 190lbs, is in great shape, and is looking for a woman who keeps herself healthy and believes in honesty. !955377 WHAT A CATCH Slim SBM, 22, 5’10”, green eyes, looking for a laid-back, cool girl, 18-29, very attractive, open mind. Let’s talk. !952108 KIND, GENTLEMAN DWM, 49, 5’10”, medium build, homeowner, financially secure, enjoys cooking, gardening, reading and music. smoker, likes asian and black females, 35-55, for companinoshioo and possible LTR. !607612

YOU HAVE 6 NEW MATCHES

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ABBREVIATIONS

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M B D F H C LTR

Male Black Divorced Female Hispanic Christian Long-term Relationship

G W A S J P N/D N/S

Gay White Asian Single Jewish Professional Non-Drinker Non-smoker

61

Become a member of Augusta’s hottest new way to meet singles! Call today!

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004

VERY DOWN-TO-EARTH... and open. DWF, 5’11”, 135lbs, enjoys going to movies, outdoors activities, travel and meeting new people. Looking for honest, sincere, trustworthy man, 29-39, for solid friendship first. !996643 BE MY TEDDY BEAR SWF, 32, 5’3’’, 180lbs, auburn/blue, no kids, never married, enjoys movies, sports, travel, dining, bowling, cuddling, quiet evenings. Seeking honest, romantic SBM, similar interests, for dating, possible LTR. !894568 COMPANIONSHIP DWF, 50, interested in gardening, antiques and traveling. Churchgoer. Seeking DWM, 48-58, for loving, tender relationship. !732056 LOOKING FOR YOU SWF, 37, 5’6”, Scorpio, N/S, enjoys mountains, bowling, the beach and music.

Seeking WM, 35-48, N/S, to be a companion, friend. !456544 MUST LIKE CHILDREN Single parent, 40s, likes reading, outdoor activities, most music, dining out, movies, and quiet times at home. !996641 BIG GIRLS NEED LOVE TOO SBF, 33, Sagittarius, seeking single man, 31-45, for romance, real friendship, possible LTR later. Give me a call. !111717 NASCAR/ETC MAMMA DWF, young 59, 5’4”, smoker, enjoys all racing, the outdoors, reading, beaches, mountains, motorcycles, fishing, sports and more. Seeking SWM, 54-65, with similar interests, for companionship. !989288 MAYBE YOU’RE THE ONE? DWF, 52, 5’4”, brown/green, 170lbs, retired, secure, homeowner, loves sailing, cooking, gardening, shooting pool. Seeking considerate, pleasant SM who likes the same, for companionship and possible LTR. !980275 THE BOMB SWF, 18, with a full figure, seeks a male, 18-25, who enjoys movies, dinner, for friendship and possibly more with time. !955355 SEARCHING FOR MR RIGHT SBPF, 39, Libra, loves church, traveling, movies, and dining out. Seeking SBPM, 3760, for possible LTR. !421273 WHOLE LOTTA LOVE SBF, 33, would like to share movies, dinners, quiet evenings at home, the usual dating activities, with a great guy. !463610 OLD-FASHIONED LADY SWCF, 48, 5’3”, 150lbs, blonde/green, Scorpio, N/S, enjoys church, Bible studies, music, dining out. Seeking SWCM, 35-60, N/S, for friendship and more. !840939 SEEKING HONESTY SBF, 37, full-figured enjoys dining out, movies, reading, music, laughter, parks, and much more. Seeking similar SB/WF, 32-50, for friendship, maybe more. !964698 ENDANGERED SPECIES SBF, 57, average build, independent, likes the good things life has to offer, fun to be with. Seeking SBM, 55-68, independent, honest and caring. !927805

CLOSER TO FINE SBF, 58, retired school teacher, N/S, enjoys traveling and tv. Seeking BM, 50-65, educated (high school at least, please), who enjoys having good clean fun. !909981 ISO CHRISTIAN VALENTINE SWCF, 61, outgoing, Libra, N/S, seeks SWCM, 59-65, with whom to share Christ, friendship, and laughter. Must be family-oriented, kind, outgoing, emotionally/financially secure. Let’s give our friendship a try. !911830 TALL BROWN SUGAR SBF, 25, 5’9”, N/S, enjoys movies, concerts, quiet times, and good music. Seeking WM, 23-30, N/S, no children. !906840 WANNA DANCE? SWF, 57, seeks dance partner for Salsa and Square Dancing! Any size, shape, big or tall, short or small, matters not! It’s the footwork that counts! Beginner-intermediate level. !898986 I WANT TO LOVE YOU SBF, 18, 5’2”, Cancer, enjoys writing poetry, walks on the beach, hanging out and enjoying life. Seeking BM, 18-24, who will treat her right, and expects the same in return. !880193 WAITING FOR YOU SB mom, 24, Virgo, seeks a man for days at the park, the mall, or at the movies, and spending time with family and friends. !883496 HIKER HEAVEN SWF, 45, full-figured, N/S, enjoys church, exploring, old movies, auctions, and gym.

Seeking WM, 46-56, N/S. Let’s make tracks together. !807679 ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE Honest SWF, 28, 5’10”, 210lbs, blonde/blue, enjoys classic rock, horror movies, and quiet nights at home. Seeking SW/HM, 18-40, for friendship, possible LTR. !874789 LOVE OF LIFE Attractive, classy, vivacious SWCF, 50ish, N/S, N/D, seeks SWCM, N/S, N/D, who is honest, financially/mentally secure, and ready for commitment. !875741 SIMPLE KIND OF LIFE SWF, 34, listens to country and oldies music, and wants to meet a man to cuddle up on the couch and watch a good movie, or enjoy other simple pleasures. !860787 JAZZY MISS Slender and attractive SBPF, 31, loves music, conversation, travel. Seeking kind, friendly, honest and family-oriented SBM, 30-38, for fun times. !865339 LOOKING FOR ME Female, 34, Leo, smoker, seeks man, 2538, for romance, real friendship, with similar interests, possibly more later on. !844726 DREAM GUY SBF, 29, searching for open-minded, outgoing SM, 22-38, military man A+, for friendship, fun nights out, dancing, talks and maybe more. !836990 SOMEONE TO LOVE SWF, 48, enjoys a good horror movie, a drama or a comedy. Seeking a man for romance, quiet times at home, or just dancing the night away! !832399 COULD THIS BE YOU? SBF, 45, 5’4”, full-figured, Taurus, N/S, enjoys church, dining out, reading, and quiet times at home. ISO BM, 45-65, N/S, for LTR. !810309

To become a member, call 1-888-223-7044 To listen and respond to ads, call 1-900-226-8908 Calls cost $1.99 per min., Must be 18+.

To respond to ads using a WELL-ROUNDED MAN Educated SBPM, 41, 5’11”, loves reading, working out, the arts, dining out, travel, quiet times. Would like to meet SWF, 30-45, with similar interests, for fun, friendship, and maybe more. !442021

FUN-FILLED DAYS AWAIT SBM, 24, enjoys taking trips, nice restaurants, fun evenings, dancing, quality time together. Seeking masculine SBM, 20-55, for possible relationship. !894435 FUN TO HANG AROUND WITH GWM, 52, 5’2”, smoker, enjoys playing pool, having fun, seeks outgoing GWM, 4055, smoker, with similar interests. !844895 INTERESTED? Independent SWM, 37, 5’8”, 150lbs, brown/brown, would like to meet fun-loving, honest, real, professional, secure female to share dates, talks, walks, dinners and romance. !848764 GREAT PERSONALITY SBM, 18, 6’3”, 220lbs, masculine build, seeking SBM, 18-29, very masculine, energetic, fun-loving, to go out for dinners, walks and more. !627150 LET’S MEET FOR COFFEE Good-looking GWM, 36, 6’, 200lbs, muscular, tan, enjoys working out, yard work, spending time with my dogs. Looking for attractive SM, 32-48, for dating, maybe leading to LTR. !436231 ACTIVE SBM SBM, 49, Pisces, N/S, enjoys bowling, movies, playing sports, seeks compatible BM, 30-46, N/S, with similar interests. !846543 TAKE A CHANCE GWM, 43, 6’2”, 195lbs, black brown, seeks other GWM, for fun times and maybe something more. !493530 CALL ON ME SWM, 43, 5’10”, 160lbs, blond/blue, loves the outdoors, dogs, fishing. Seeking SW/HM, 21-35, similar interests, friends first, maybe more. !113631 DOGGONE LOVEABLE SWM, 37, Gemini, smoker, nature and animal lover (especially puppies), seeks outgoing, down-to-earth man, 20-70, for friendship. !909184 SEND ME AN ANGEL SBM, 31, seeking serious, open-minded, down-to-earth guy, 30-45, likes hanging out at home, movies. Friendship comes first, possible LTR. No drama! !111070 TIME AFTER TIME SM, 38, is an easygoing guy looking for another guy to spend time with, and share a good friendship. !993392 RELAXING AT HOME SBM, 35, Virgo, N/S, likes relaxing at home, fun, concerts, trips going to the beach.

Seeks fun, spontaneous SBM, 26-37, N/S. !532700 IS IT YOU? Simple, easygoing SM, 47, enjoys bowling, music, cooking, more. Seeking outgoing lady for good times, talks, friendship and possible LTR. !975288 GLOVERVILLE GUY GWM, Capricorn, N/S, loves bars, karaoke, cooking out, and pool. Seeking GWM, 2849, smoker, to cuddle up with. !936256 LET’S SADDLE UP SWM, 27, 5’8”, brown/brown, Virgo, smoker, loves horses, camping (with or without the horses), and traveling. Seeking man, 25-40, who can ride, ride, ride. !921725

62

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004

How do you

LOOKING FOR COOL CAT... to converse with. SBM, 34, Capricorn, N/S, game and drama-free, seeks BM, 26-48, serious-minded, with sense of direction in life. !889038 LET’S GET TOGETHER GWPM, 37, 5’9”, brown/brown, who enjoys reading, movies, politics, entertainment, seeks a guy for dating, possibly growing into more. !883365 EASY TO TALK TO SWM, 48, loves good Italian or French cuisine, and is looking for a man who is easy to get along with, for romance. !870126 I WANT TO MEET YOU! GBM, 32, 5’7”, average build, Pisces, N/S, likes reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports. Seeking outgoing, caring GWM, 2445, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. !850885 SEEKS MAN WITH DIRECTION GBM, 33, Capricorn, N/S, seeks understanding, level-headed, secure GBM, 2548, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. !854633

SINGLE MOM Beautiful, plus-sized SF, 29, likes dining out, going to movies, clubs occasionally, cuddling.

Looking for outgoing, fun SF, 25-38, for dating, possibly becoming serious. !997153 © 2004 TPI GROUP

TAKE A CHANCE SM, 39, 6’, 240lbs, laid-back, artistic, loves life and trying new things. Seeking SF for fun times, friendship, casual dates and maybe more. !976288 ARE YOU OUT THERE? SWM, 56, 135lbs, athletic build, employed, likes movies, quiet conversations, gospel music, C&W, snuggling and good company.

Seeking SF, slim-average build, to share a lasting loving relationship. !979620 SEEKING SOMEONE SPECIAL SBM, 61, Virgo, smoker, likes reading, movies, dining out, travel. Seeking outgoing, caring woman, 18-55, with similar interests, for LTR. !850674 KINDRED SPIRITS SBM, 54, 5’7”, average build, local truck driver, Taurus, marriage-minded, smoker, seeks BF, 42-60, a kind soul. !928892 LOOKING FOR MS. RIGHT SWM, 37, 5’9”, 180lbs, enjoys biking, sports, travel, dining out. Seeking outgoing, attractive SF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. !557954 I GIVE GOOD LOVE SM, 28, 5’5”, N/S, Virgo, enjoys sports, bowling, movies, going out, quiet times.

Seeking a single lady, 26-34, same interests, for dating, possibly more. !957932 LOVES TO MAKE YOU LAUGH SBM, 37, 5’8”, slim build, Aquarius, smoker, disc jockey and pest control technician, seeks woman, 25-41, just as a friend. !939056 NEW TO AREA SBM, 41, 6’3”, 205lbs, brown eyes, handsome, Libra, N/S, ISO honest, sincere, fullfigured woman, 20-60, race unimportant. !928684 LET ME LOVE YOU SWM, 37, 6’, 200lbs, Cancer, N/S, in construction work, loves camping. Looking to meet a nice WF, 40-60, with whom to share what lovers do. !908620 JUST LET ME KNOW SWM, 27, 5’10”, 165lbs, enjoys dining out, movies, music, conversation, traveling, romance, laughter and more. Seeking outgoing, intelligent, humorous SW/BF, 18-30, for companionship. !956434 PRINCE SBM, 27, 5’11”, 165lbs, enjoys music, travel, reading, dining. Seeking a woman who is outgoing, attractive, with similar interests for possible LTR. !954917 ME AND MISS LADY SBM, 38, 6’1”, professional cook, likes sports, looking for a lady, 28-42, likes quiet times, walks in the park, family, fun. Does this sound like you? !951742 MUCH TO OFFER SHM, 58, 5’10”, 185lbs, salt-n-pepper hair, retired, Virgo, N/S, loves trailer camping, mountains, beaches. Seeking WF, 48-62, N/S, retired a+. !937107 LOVEABLE TEDDY BEAR SBM, 38, 6’2”, Cancer, smoker, loves sports, dinner, dancing, movies. Seeking woman, 20-45, smoker, to kick up her heels with me. !938554 A LITTLE TLC DWM, 49, 5’11”, 195lbs, homeowner, financially secure, enjoys cooking, home life, motorcycle riding. Looking for attractive WF, 35-50, with similar interests. !938440 PLEASE, PLEASE ME SWM, 32, N/S, N/D, is looking for a woman, 27-35, with a petite build, to share good times, conversations and maybe more. !871092 GIVE ME A CALL SWM, 40, 5’8”, 185lbs, salt-npepper/green, N/S, enjoys fishing, horseback riding, stargazing, martial arts, reading, quiet times home. Seeking that special woman to share life, laughs and maybe love. !834688

,call 1-866-832-4685

GET TO KNOW ME SBF, 25, Taurus, N/S, enjoys movies, travel.

Seeking woman, 21-30, N/S, for friendship, possible romance. !803723 READY TO HAVE FUN! SF, 25, seeks femme, 25-35, race not important, who is nice, pretty, slim. Let’s talk and get to know one another! !895256 INTERESTED? SBF, 35, loves reading (Stephen King and Anne Rice), listening to alternative music, as well as jazz. Seeking a woman with similar tastes. !990549 GOOD COMPANY SBF, 27, wants to meet a friend for hanging out, shopping, having fun and enjoying good company. !990953 WHY NOT CALL? SBF, 41, seeks goal-oriented, caring SBF with children ok, for friendship, dating and possible relationship. !976521 1 YOU’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR BiWF, 27, enjoys everything, promises you won’t regret it. If you’re looking for a good time and friendship, I’ll be perfect for you. !830500 JUST THE FACTS SBPF, 41, Libra, N/S, seeks PF, age and race unimportant, who enjoys dining out, quiet times at home, and movies, for LTR. !730225 SOMETHING SPECIAL DWF, 45, 5’8”, 145lbs, two kids at home, loves heavy metal music. Seeking SWF, 30-50, likes being around kids, for possible LTR. !945525

AFRICAN-AMERICAN STUD Open-minded, spontaneous, laid-back SBF, 23, Pisces, N/S, loves R&B and oldschool music. Seeking feminine woman, 25-50, race not important, who loves to have fun. !919677 WAITING FOR YOU SBF, 19, is in search of a friend first, maybe more with time, with a lady who likes to get out and have fun. !874312 ONLY A WOMAN WILL KNOW GBF, Capricorn, N/S, likes reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports. Seeking outgoing, caring GWF, 27-52, N/S, with similar interests, for dating and more. !850614 THE SWEETEST THING SBF, 26, 5’8”, 145lbs, wants to get out and have fun with a new friend, maybe more with time. !832018 BONEVILLE BABE SWF, 31, 5’5”, 130lbs, brown/green, smoker, enjoys playing golf, movies, and picnics at the lake. Seeking WF, 25-40, for friends, possibly more. !818908 A LOT TO OFFER Non-smoking GBF, 37, N/S, seeks very attractive, unique, romantic, fun, intelligent, feminine GF, 27-37, for friendship, dating, possibly more. !749660 WHY WAIT? SWF, 38, 5’6”,140lbs, short brown hair, easygoing, enjoys playing golf, the beach.

Seeking feminine female, 20-40, to have fun times and more. !448489

Chemistry 101

Me+You= 24/7 Fun! Mix up a little chemistry this spring.

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Classifieds Alt. Lifestyles

THE COLISEUM Fri & Sat. No Cover Before 10 p.m.

Friday, April 30th

Mind, Body & Spirit

Premier Entertainment Complex & High Energy Dance Music

Open Mon-Fri 8pm-3am Sat 8pm-2:30am

Saturday, May 1st

Barbara’s Birthday Bash Lauren Alexander Fri, May 7th - Charlie Brown Upcoming Fri, May 14th - Shakedown: A Night of Hip Hop & Pop Events Fri, May 21st - Lady Chablis from the movie

WED FREE Well Drinks FREE Draft Drinks FRI & SAT $1.00 Well Drinks $1.00 Domestic From 9 pm - 11 pm

Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil 1632 Walton Way • Augusta, GA

706-733-2603

Call 738-1142 to place your Classified ad today!

Email: ColiseumAugusta@aol.com

Pilates

Do you need to Forgive Someone?

Perhaps you should try

RADICAL Forgiveness

Come and experience a Radical Forgiveness Ceremony Sunday May 2nd 1:30-4 pm Christ Church Unity 2301 Central Ave Open to the Public - $22.00 Positive Image Awareness Center, Inc. Steven D. Kaplan 116 Shaw Street, Martinez, GA 30907 Radical Forgiveness Coach (706) 210-4849 | www.RadicalForgiveness.com Full Body Massage!

Therapeutic tension relief, intense or tender touch, relaxing music, aromatherapy, by appointment only - $49.00/hr.

Call Joy - 706-771-9470 or John - 803-361-8811 (04/29#8408)

READINGS BY

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SPECIAL READINGS WITH CARD

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Mrs. Graham, Psychic Reader, Advises on all affairs of life, such as love, marriage, and business. She tells your past, present and future. Mrs. Graham does palm, tarot card, and Chakra balancing. She specializes in relationships and reuniting loved ones.

Professional Massage By experienced male.

Specializing in affordable 1 hour total body massage for men 18 - 55.

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Open from 9 a.m. til 9 p.m.

Call (706) 733-5851

Music

Religion Meditation & Buddhism Weekly Classes, Tuesdays, 7-8:30pm, April-June 22nd at the Unitarian Church of Augusta, 3501 Walton Way Ex tension, Ganden Buddhist Center, Everyone is welcome!

(No Class 4/20 & 6/1) Call (803) 256-0150 or www.MeditationInSouthCarolina.org for more info.

(04/29#8425)

Aiken’s Ultimate Dance Club ! !

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$1.00 D ra Every N ft ight All Nigh t

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STARLIGHT CABARET FRI - Dance Night SAT - Bad Boys Johnathan, Govanni & Kelly SUN- Miss Magnolia Pageant 141 Marlboro Street, N.E. Aiken S.C. • 803-644-6485

DOORS OPEN AT 9:00 • 18 to Party • 21 to Drink >> No Cover With This Ad <<

Business Opportunities

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GUARANTEED SOLUTIONS

Metropolitan Community Church of Our Redeemer A Christian Church reaching to all: including Gay, Lesbian, and Transgendered Christians.

Meeting at 557 Greene Street, 11 am and 6 pm each Sunday. 722-6454 MCCOurRedeemer@aol.com www.mccoor.com (04/29#8128)

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Travel

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THE CYCLONE & AIRBRUSHING

Kroger Shopping Center Across from the Augusta Mall General Help Wanted 59 People needed to lose weight!

All natural, doctor recommended 100% Guaranteed Call for free sample, 706-284-7650 (04/29#8368)

706-667-0120 www.sandsofsummer.com

We want your dead junk or scrap car bodies.

We tow away and for some we pay.

706/829-2676

63

Open 7 Days a Week (Peak Season)

METRO SPIRIT - APRIL 29, 2004

“Ain’t No Line On My Behind”

SUMMER WORK

$12.25 guar/appt. flex schedules, advancement oppty’s. Will train. Sales/ Service. Conditions apply.

All ages 18+. Call 706-855-5757 www.summerworknow.com (04/29#8428)

www.metrospirit.com

Poor Water Drainage?

Private Investigator

341 S. Belair Rd.

MARLBORO STATION

Services

Wheels

Dead Bodies Wanted OR

706/798-9060