Metro Spirit 05.16.2013

04 06 07

METRONEWS CROSSWORD AUGUSTA TEK FEATURE

08 14 15 19

EVENTS CALENDAR JENNY IS WRIGHT ART 45 SIGHTINGS

16 28 29 30

SLAB MATT’S MUSIC THE 8

32 35 36 38

WHINE LINE

EricJohnson|news editor eric@themetrospirit.com

GabrielVega|lead designer gabe@themetrospirit.com

BrendaCarter|senior account executive brenda@themetrospirit.com

AmyChristian|arts editor/production director amy@themetrospirit.com

JoeWhite|publisher joe@themetrospirit.com

JohnnyBeckworth|circulation manager johnny@themetrospirit.com

Michael-RKQVRQ_VLJKWLQJV Valerie(PHULFN_ZULWHU Amy3HUNLQV_HGLWRULDO LQWHUQ Laura3HUU\_YROXQWHHU KristinHawkins|editorial intern

WHINELINE

As to the assertion that people from NYC always tell you that fact in the first Bully Al Mason Mayor NOT. three minutes after you meet them, let me help with why If it weren’t for Facebook they do that. Upon being there would probably be a 50% reduction in marathon introduced to an Augusta and mud run participation. native, one usually hears, “You’re not from around You used to have to wear here, are you?” Then one the t-shirt for recognition.

Now you just cross the finish has to explain, “No, I’m not, line and pose. Weeeee-look I’m from NYC.” Get it? at meeeee!

Now that the nurses at GRU are required to wear drab blue uniforms that look similiar to the one worn by O.J. Simpson at his recent hearing, patients don’t know if they are being treated by an R.N., Janitor, or prison escapee.

LITTLE BIG TOWN concert was on Wednesday, 05/08/2013. If you were not there, you missed

the VERY BEST concert I have been to in a very long time.

We all know for sure that it is unsafe to live in Augusta .

Even our sheriff will not travel in Augusta without two armed body guards. When or if the sheriff begins to travel alone in Augusta will we feel safe to go outdoors unarmed.

o r t e m IRIT SP There is no way to stop these criminals in downtown Augusta.

It’s in their blood ... it’s in their genes. Their parents did it, their children will do it. It WILL escalate. (continued on page 38)

Contributors Greg Baker|Sam Eifling |Kristin Hawkins |Rhonda Jones |Austin Rhodes|Josh Ruffin|Matt Stone|Adam Wadding|Jenny Wright

o r t e m IR P S

INSIDER RUFFIN’ IT AUSTIN RHODES

15 8 10 10

Metro Spirit is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks a year. Editorial coverage includes local issues and news, arts, entertainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. Visit us at metrospirit.com.© 15 House, LLC. Owner/Publisher: Joe White. Legal: Phillip Scott Hibbard. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. One copy per person, please.

CONTENTS

A Flag-Waving Good Time Final Tally: Gala rewards hard work, crowns winners in Man and Woman of the Year campaign The Hours: Renewed enforcement of two-hour parking limit on Broad Street reignites old debate Putty in His Hands: Hypnotist makes playboys out of CPAs while making everybody laugh

Want to advertise in the Metro Spirit?

706.496.2535 or 706.373.3636 COVER DESIGN: KRUHU

IN

V24|NO19

INSIDER@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM Insider is an anonymous, opinion-based examination of the hidden details of Augusta politics and personalities.

SIDER

Brave? New World

Reporters and editors are well known for their short fuses and their big egos, and in the old days, disagreements with readers were often resolved by a curt request to step outside.

That was before the internet, back when men were forced to be men and a corner was something you really couldn’t afford to be backed into. Now, prickly journalists can simply join the scrum already rolling around the comment section and get their satisfaction without an icepack or a trip to the dentist.

Some these days are more pugnacious this way than others. Barry Paschal over at the Columbia County News-Times, for example, seems to enjoy correcting the misread, the misunderstood and the downright mistaken.

Seems to get a kick out of it, actually.

Paschal is someone who’s adapted well to this modern age. Others, however, either hold themselves in check better, don’t visit the comments or manage to be right without the need to tell everyone.

Which is why it was so surprising to see the well-respected veteran Steve Crawford engage one of the usual band of commenters regarding his story on the downtown crime states.

“Little Lamb,” he started before defending the integrity of those he felt had been maligned by the commenter.

Little Lamb.

Do you suppose, even in his wildest dreams, Crawford ever conjured up a universe where he would end up defending his integrity against someone called Little Lamb?

We W e specialize in tree cutting and a nd limbing, landscaping, lot clearing, clearing, stump grinding, and much more!

Ask A sk to see our License and Insurance.

Michael M ichael Murray : 706.691.8832 Thomas T homas Prince : 912.531.7079

AUGUSTA A UGUSTA TREE PROFESSIONALS

4

METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

MONEY

DOESN’T

GROW ON TREES (Although some local tree services must beli be liliev evee it doe ev ddoes oess ac oe acco cord co rdin rd ingg to tthe in heir he ir eest stim st imat im ates at ess!) believe according their estimates!)

9MAY2013

V24|NO19

Public Defense When the Supreme Court issued an opinion regarding conflicts of interest in the public defender’s office, it sent public defenders scrambling to fund outside lawyers, and Augusta was no different. Commissioners Monday evaluated a request for an additional $120,000 to fund outside attorneys and bring the public defender’s office into compliance with a ruling that set the compliance date for May 6, a date which had already come and gone.

Because it wasn’t budgeted, the money will have to come out of the contingency fund, which already took a $25,000 hit to help out the popular MACH Academy. However, Commissioner Bill Lockett noticed that a good chunk of that money was earmarked to fund investigators, not unconflicted attorneys.

With the public defender not present, commissioners were left with more questions than answers, but it was clear that no one liked the possibility they might have rubber stamped an unnecessary emergency expenditure.

Tough questions are likely to follow.

What Goes Around Sometimes Comes Around, Sometimes Doesn’t Fire Chief Chris James had already had a tough day before commissioners by the time Commissioner Donnie Smith started out with an almost Perry Mason like questioning of him regarding staffing, overtime and the oxygen take fiasco.

— Have you ever closed down a station because of a lack of personnel?

— How many areal trucks do we have?

— If an areal truck is filling in for an engine company and gets dispatched to a structure fire, effectively the engine company it was filling in for is no longer in service, correct?

— Why would we find ourselves in that situation?

— Do we have mandatory overtime and is it implemented from the top down?

Smith seemed to have vulnerability on the mind, implying that personnel issues were keeping the Fire Department from being fully staffed and the city from being fully safe, and by the time he got to the oxygen cylinders and the missed deadline that left officials unable to refill the cylinders until they were recertified, he was thinking about the vulnerability of the firefighters.

Assuming all 260 cylinders had been used at a structure fire, Smith asked, wouldn’t we be unable to continue fighting the fire?

Commissioners Lockett and Mason seemed to feel the question was too outrageous for James to have to answer, given the odds of using all 280 cylinders. Lockett called for the question and, after considerable back and forth with the legal council, Mason further shut Smith down. Both made it clear that it was unfair for a commissioner to attack the fire chief in such a way.

Obviously, neither remembered the evisceration of former Chief Howard Willis, who in the midst of the Great Shakeup That Wasn’t, they brutalized, embarrassed and otherwise destroyed at the same podium.

At the time Willis was weak and unpopular and growing more so every day. No one came to his aid and few mourned his loss, but it’s funny how easy it is to forget.

9MAY2013

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT

5

V24|NO19

Beer and Democracy What brettanomyces tells us about America

In recognition of American Craft Beer Week — which kicked off on Monday — I’m going to take a short break from spam-botting Rand Paul’s Friendster account and talk about something that I truly, dearly, give one screaming damn about. On the one hand, I’m a little bit done with beer, at least for the moment. We just concluded Madison Craft Beer Week and, working in the industry I do, playtime and grind-time tend to consistently overlap.

As a result, my body isn’t even sure what time it is anymore, and woke me up last night trying to figure out if it wanted to run a 5K or drink the last bottle of coffee porter.

So yeah; craft beer is a big deal in this country, and has become an increasingly bigger deal ever since its unofficial inception in the ’70s with the now-defunct New Albion Brewing. For some years now, artisanal beer has accounted for a steadily rising — though still a soberingly small — percentage of all beer sales in the country, and projections indicate that this is not a truncated phenomenon.

Between 2011 and 2012, a whopping 376 new craft breweries opened in the United States. With the addition of Edwinton Brewing in North Dakota, each one of the 50 states now boasts at least one such enterprise.

I bring up Edwinton because their slogan — “Frontier Spirit. Considerable Whimsy.” — embodies to me both the headspace and the driving force behind the brewing culture in America, for better and for worse. American craft brewers are endlessly inventive, though they sometimes run the risk of neglecting the past; they cull inspiration from hosts of different cultures, resources and templates, though occasionally to the detriment of the product; they foster community and encourage bad behavior.

More than any other element, brettanomyces — a wild yeast culture from Belgium whose popularity in American craft brewing has skyrocketed over the last half-decade — is indicative of both this country’s strengths and shortcomings. If you’ll indulge me: 1. Humble Beginnings America, great land of baseball, Nicki Minaj and comparative democracy, essentially started off as a bunch of Puritan miscreants who were so

6

METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Puritan, the freaking British kicked them out. They then spent several years doing the evolutionary equivalent of stepping on rakes before they had the bright idea to get all up in arms about a small tea tax. Overreaction led to war led to stupefyingly good luck led to independence. Never mind the NDAA — at this point, we’re as free as a country can get.

In the wild, brettanomyces is essentially a bacteria that grows on fruit skins and damages the flesh.

Everything about it screams “Don’t use me. For anything.” Whether by sheer accident or guided by the same ass-backward instinct that inspired someone to try eating a lobster for the first time, some of the bacteria got into beer. And it worked.

It worked like hell. Brett does ridiculous, wonderful things to a beer — more on that in a minute — and defies all logic while doing it.

2. Yeah, But It’s Still a Bizarre Little Organism Real talk: a lot of people, hardcore craft beer enthusiasts included, don’t like the stuff. Buzzword adjectives like “horse blanket,” “barnyard” and “cat pee” are used, both positively and negatively, to describe the effects of brett on certain beers.

It’s a more divisive topic to a group of beer dorks than asking them whether Pliny the Elder or Heady Topper is superior. If you don’t know what the hell that last sentence meant, then congratulations, you lead a life worth living.

And here’s the thing: both schools of thought are valid. Brett is a vicious little funk-ball, but that’s what makes it so great. Likewise, America’s got a lot going for it, as well as a lot to improve upon.

With the addition of Minnesota, for example, a full quarter of the continental United States has legalized same-sex marriage.

By that same token, we still have elected officials fighting to completely outlaw it. We lionize our military, but don’t take very good care of them when they come back. We attract and foster some of the finest scientific minds in the world, but still allow the teaching of creationism as a viable scientific theory.

We are a nation of the one-step-forward-one-back variety. Like brett, we break even.

3. In General, It Plays Well With Others Brett first gained traction in brewing culture as a key component in the immortal Orval, a funky, dry-hopped trappist ale. The beer’s success led to other breweries paying tribute: Goose Island brews Matilda, a somewhat sweeter take on the style, with the funky notes manifesting themselves as more an astringent counterpart to the citric hops; Green Flash’s Rayon Vert is decidedly West Coast, as the brett does much to dry out the bitterly hoppy palate.

So brett’s relationship to pale ales is nothing new.

But then people started getting crazy: The Bruery crafts several iteration of their Autumn Maple — a strong Belgian brown brewed with roasted yams — including a 100 percent brett version; Great Divide makes a brett-spiked batch of their Yeti imperial stout; Lost Abbey’s Cuvee de Tomme uses three different strains of brett in its massive, bourbon barrel-aged sour ale.

And it all works. But here’s the funny thing about brett: leave it unchecked — i.e., age the beer — and it can run rampant, sometimes overpowering most other flavors and being the only noticeable component left. Orval is that way after a couple of years; Cuvee de Tomme is after five, before it starts to reconfigure itself into something else entirely. It’s the best possible example of something meant for good, left warped and twisted by either misguided intentions or sheer neglect.

Am I making this obvious enough? Happy Craft Beer Week.

JOSHRUFFIN, a Metro Spirit alum, is a published

journalist and poet who just received his MFA from Georgia College & State University. He was once the most un-intimidating bouncer at Soul Bar.

9MAY2013

V24|NO19

Mrs. Mason Needs to Fess Up If Big Al Is to Be Mayor In late December 2011, I was standing on a sidewalk in Aiken County holding an American flag to honor the funeral procession of fallen Aiken City Public Safety Officer Scotty Richardson when my cell phone rang with the news that Augusta Commissioner Alvin Mason was being charged in a domestic dispute with his wife that occurred during a holiday party at their Hephzibah home.

For months he had a charges of assault, battery and family domestic violence hanging over his head. The matter was concluded when a specially appointed judge and prosecutor reviewed the evidence and decided no crimes had actually taken place. The assault and battery charges were completely dropped, the family violence case was set aside, with the promise to be reinstated if further trouble occurred in the marital home. It has not.

The way it was explained to me from the very beginning was that Commissioner Mason physically restrained Mrs. Mason as she aggressively charged another family member with whom she was having an animated disagreement. His wife was furious that he forcibly intervened, so she called 911 and summoned the popo. The commissioner wisely hit the road when it became clear his nearly hysterical wife was calling in the law. Others left the house as well.

I believed the story the instant I heard it. Al Mason is a large man, quite large in fact. His wife? Not so much. If Al Mason had violently hit her or wanted to harm her in any real sense, her physical condition would have been significantly worse than what the scrapes and small marks showed it to actually be. Quite frankly, she would not have left a real fight without significant injuries, and far more serious proof of such a clash to show police as they arrived just minutes later.

It is well known now that Mrs. Mason almost immediately signed papers allowing her husband access to both her and the marital home, and did not wish to pursue further charges, but under Georgia law, the case had to be heard before a judge.

9MAY2013

And so it was, and it was settled. Until now.

Now that Mason has announced his intention to run for mayor of Augusta, it is vital that his wife issue a statement that completely explains in her own words what happened that night, why her husband was justified to step in and do what he did, and the fact that nothing more than her temper and ego caused her to call 911 and accuse him of manhandling her.

It may be uncomfortable for the Masons, but the citizens that will be asked to vote him into one of the most important and high-profile positions in local government need to hear from her that he did nothing wrong that fateful night, and, in fact, likely saved the family from far more serious trouble.

Will Al Mason make a good mayor? No idea, but the first thing voters need to be guaranteed is that he is not a bully or a criminal We Knew About the Problem; Here Is the Solution Last September in this space I wrote about the horrific and unacceptable waiting periods for state autopsy results suffered by the families of violent crime victims, or survivors of those who die suddenly for mysterious and unexplained reasons.

In some cases, delays of six months for lab results are not uncommon, all because of a shortage of personnel to physically conduct the tests.

This week the daily featured an interview with Coroner Grover Tuten, echoing many of the same sentiments and concerns. In other words, the problem as I wrote about it eight months ago ain’t getting any better: “The words ‘frustration’ and ‘outrage’ in such a situation are simply inadequate. This is a story I have been hearing about the Georgia State Crime Lab for years. So many years, in fact, that the two guys who first brought it to my attention, former Richmond County Coroner Leroy Sims and former Columbia County Coroner Tommy King, have themselves been dead eight and six years, respectively.

“But it is not only violent deaths where we see mysteries prolonged and families tortured needlessly; hundreds of local cases involving natural, unexplained deaths also take weeks and months to settle, often because of the same backlog. In just a few short years, I have seen this firsthand with the sudden deaths of my childhood best friend Bobby and my cherished cousin Christi. In both cases it was almost eight weeks before final reports were prepared for the family. These were reports, by the way, which could have been prepared in a matter of hours if there had been staff to do the job.

“We have a solution. Augusta has a fully equipped, state-of-theart autopsy and crime lab, built by the GBI adjacent to the jail on Phinizy Rd. Thanks to budget cutbacks, there are very few personnel there to do any work.

“If the Augusta Judicial Circuit could invest about 300k a year to cover the salaries of several technicians, we could process most important local cases in 24 hours, and then tackle the backlog to help other jurisdictions.

“It can’t be done immediately, but it can be done. Rarely can it be said that a few hundred grand a year can fix such a serious problem, but this time, we can say it and mean it.” — AR Metro Spirit, September 19, 2012 Allow me to add, if manning our own crime lab here is deemed too expensive or impractical, then at least allow us to hire our own certified technicians to send to the Atlanta crime lab to conduct our own local tests as a priority, and when said technicians are not working local cases, they can assist on that state-wide backlog.

Problem, meet solution. There are many issues money cannot resolve; this would not be one of those issues.

AUSTINRHODES

The views expressed are the opinions of Austin Rhodes and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT

7

V24|NO20

ERICJOHNSON

Final Tally

Gala rewards hard work, crowns winners in Man and Woman of the Year campaign

After 10 weeks of fundraising, the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society’s Man and Woman of the Year competitors are ready to tally their votes at a special finale gala on Friday night at the Sacred Heart Cultural Center. The great thing about this competition? Every vote is a dollar that goes toward curing blood cancers and improving the quality of life for patients and families already afflicted.

Between them, last year’s Man and Woman of the Year winners raised over $55,000 out of the $103,000 raised by the entire class, the first in Augusta.

The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society’s Man and Woman of the Year campaign began in California in 1990 and has become one of the organization’s national priority campaigns, earning over $83 million since its inception Last year alone, it raised $19 million nationwide.

According to Kate Sanders, CSRA campaign manager, the six women and five men chosen 8

METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

by the nominating committee have undertaken a variety of different things in an effort to raise money.

“I tell them to do whatever they enjoy and whatever their strengths are,” Sanders says. “We’ve had softball tournaments, golf tournaments and quite a few concerts this year.”

She says there has also been plenty of family involvement, too.

“One of our candidates has a daughter who was turning 10 or 11 and she wanted to help out, so she asked her friends and family to donate to her mom’s campaign in lieu of birthday gifts,” Sanders says.

Not only did she invite the Boy and Girl of the Year to her birthday skating party, she had a little donation box where people could just leave their donation.

Sanders says that family aspect has been fun to see, especially the way the Boy and Girl of the Year have been included.

“We’ve gotten to know both of the kids this year through other campaigns,” Sanders says. “A lot of times, they are people that have benefited from our programs, whether it’s financial assistance or

support groups of different resources, so they’re able to speak about that to people who maybe aren’t as familiar because they didn’t come from a patient’s perspective.”

When these families are part of Light the Night, another of the society’s fundraising efforts, they raise money just like everyone else, but in this campaign, they are more or less honored throughout the entire process.

“It’s a chance for us to say thank you to them, because it’s not easy to get up and tell people your story, especially when you’re talking about your child,” Sanders says.

This year’s boy and girl are CJ and Michele (pictured at left), and they’ve been a part of things from the very beginning.

“That’s a part of what I love about this campaign,” Sanders says. “It’s a chance for us to really spotlight these kids and talk about how brave they are and how brave their families are and give them a chance to just come and enjoy themselves and have a few hours away from clinic and spinal taps and blood counts and all that stuff.”

Christy Beckham, who is campaigning to win Woman of the Year, says her relationship with Michele and her family has proved to be a big inspiration.

“I’ve gotten really close to her and her mom,” she says. “You just really learn a lot about the disease, and because I have small children, I wonder what I would do if it was one of them.”

During her nomination process, one of Beckham’s close friends had a scare with one of her lymph nodes, literally texting her a surgery date while she was in the nomination meeting.

That hit close to home, and the longer she’s campaigned, the more she’s realized that blood cancers hit close to home for just about everyone.

“Once people find out I’m doing it, almost everyone has a relative or a friend or someone that has been affected by the disease,” she says. “I really had no idea how rampant it was.”

According to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, someone is diagnosed with a blood cancer every four minutes, though survival rates have more than doubled — and in some cases have quadrupled — since the organization was founded in 1949.

“They’re getting so much better with cures, it makes you feel good,” Beckham says. “This is something that’s actually making a difference, and the survival rate numbers are skyrocketing.”

Though the gala is sold out with a waiting list of over 40, Sanders says fundraising will continue to the last minute with a live and silent auction in addition to the announcement of the Man and Woman of the Year.

The ultimate goal is to raise $135,000.

16MAY2013

V24|NO20 V 24|NO 24| 24 |NO20

16MAY2013 16MAY 16 MAY201 MAY 20133 201

AUGUSTA’S AUGUST A S IN INDEPEND INDEPENDENT DEPENDENT DEPEND ENT VO VOICE ICE SINCE SINCE 1989 1989

METROSPIRIT METRO MET ROSPI RO SPIRIT SPI RIT

9

V24|NO20

ERICJOHNSON

The Hours

Renewed enforcement of two-hour parking limit on Broad Street reignites old debate

After a couple of years’ hiatus, the downtown parking issue reemerged at Monday’s committee meetings, spurred on by a renewed enforcement of the two-hour parking limit. Unlike the last time, however, when the issue was driven by a Downtown Development Authority proposal to install parking meters in the downtown area, a plan that was largely seen as being thrust upon an unsuspecting — and in most cases an uninterested — public, this time the idea emerged from a business in the 1200 block of Broad Street.

Donald Thorstad, a senior partner at Johnson, Laschober and Associates, an architectural and engineering firm located at 1296 Broad Street, stated a simple problem: last Monday, signs went up posting the two-hour parking limit, and by noon on Tuesday, tires were beginning to be marked for ticketing purposes.

According to Thorstad, unlimited parking in the median for workers had been previously allowed.

“We have this speech every two, three or four years,”

he said. “It’s either this or parking meters, and we leave here saying, ‘Okay, we’ve got unlimited parking in the median.’ Now, all of a sudden, the signs are up and we’re getting ticketed, so we just want some resolution to this.”

Thorstad said his company has 27 employees, 10-15 of whom are professional engineers. He also says that parking is not a problem.

“I’ve worked here since 1989 and I’ve never had to search for a parking space unless there was a function at the old firehouse,” he said. “There’s never been a problem down there.”

According to Assistant Director of Traffic Engineering Steve Cassell, the two-hour parking limit was instituted when the I.M. Pei-designed parking wells were put in around 1975, though the signs were removed when his department worked on the street light upgrade last year.

“The Sheriff’s Department in January asked us if we could reinstall the signs,” he said. “We didn’t want to put them on the new poles because each one of those poles out there is about $15,000, and to strap something on there would just diminish the lifespan of it, so we had to come up with some locations where we could put a pole into the concrete, and that’s what we did.”

Commissioner Donnie Smith contacted the Sheriff’s

Department, which agreed to a 10-day reprieve that was set to expire at the end of this week, though Smith said that the Sheriff’s Department made it clear to him that they didn’t want to be the driving force behind the enforcement.

Commissioner Bill Fennoy, who as District 1 commissioner represents downtown, expressed concern with the idea of granting businesses in certain areas of Broad Street permission to park and not others, though the complexion of Broad Street businesses changes from one end to the other.

“You have a lot of businesses downtown that would rather see that two-hour limit imposed,” said Commissioner Wayne Guilfoyle. “I understand concerns about office staff, but there should have been parking for a lot of these businesses in the back. A lot of restaurant employees park out front, in the parking wells, and they shouldn’t do that.”

That said, he quipped that he doubted the city was ready to go through the pains of building another parking deck.

Thorstad, however, said that there were no parking opportunities on his end of Broad Street other than the median spaces, and that the two-hour limit imposed a significant burden on his office.

“This is a game changer for a lot of us,” he said.

“This will be a driving force for some of those smaller businesses to maybe pick up and leave, and we’re just now filling the block up with people. We get restaurants down there and it really looks like a downtown, and now we’re going to do this?”

Ultimately, the committee agreed to task the Administrator’s office to work with Engineering and the Sheriff’s Department to come up with a recommendation to help those businesses that need longer parking times, though not before General Council Andrew MacKenzie clarified that while there is an ordinance in place now that allows the Sheriff’s Department and the Fire Department to restrict parking, the commission body has the power to impose restrictions or lift certain limitations, meaning that parking along Broad Street has the potential change as long as six commissioners can agree. And given the number of hands that went up as a show of support for changing the ordinance, there seems to be at least an initial agreement to make a change.

WE ARE A CHRISTIAN ORGANIZATION THAT SUPPORTS INDIVIDUALS OF ALL FAITHS

Do you have anything you’d like to donate?

Call 706.481.8681

You’ll find Household Items, Construction Material including doors, sinks, cabinets, etc. , Furniture, Appliances in Good Working Condition, lighting plus much more!

1004 Walton Way | Open Monday –Friday: 9-5 10 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

16MAY2013

V24|NO20

16MAY2013

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 11

V24|NO20

ERICJOHNSON

Putty in His Hands

Hypnotist makes playboys out of CPAs while making everybody laugh

Under the influence

When you’ve been a comedy club hypnotist as long as Gary Conrad has, you learn to size up participants pretty quickly.

“Some people are really into it and they’ll follow directions with a lot of alacrity and a lot of precision,” he says. “Other people will kind of open their eyes and look around a bit and see what everyone else is doing, and you can almost see the calculation on their face — do I really want to do this? After a while, they can’t keep up because everybody else is tranced out and they’re still two grades behind.”

In other words, some go up wanting to be hypnotized and some go up wanting to prove they can’t be.

Others, like former Metro Spirit employee Emily Stone go up just to see if it’s real… and come back not fully sure whether it was or not.

(You can read about her adventures in the June 16, 2011, issue of the Metro Spirit by accessing our archives at metrospirit.com).

Conrad seems to revel in gray areas.

“There are people who like it because it’s a good feeling physically,” he says. “And psychologically, I think there are people who like the change — by day the guy might be Captain Milquetoast and by night he’s got these three broads laying on top of him.”

Conrad, who was an Augusta staple back in the days of the Augusta Comedy House, says the key to a successful show is to let the participants have fun, and so with the “adult” version of his show, when he hypnotizes a large group on stage, Captain Milquetoast can easily find himself snuggled into the curves of a beautiful woman… or parading around like a stripper.

“By day he’s a CPA, by night, he’s a hypno star,” he says. “Would Momma be proud? No. But she wasn’t there.”

Conrad started out in New York using hypnosis to help people lift more weight at the gym or stop biting their fingernails, but at parties he’d always find himself answering the “What do you do?” question.

“If you collect stamps, people want to see your stamps,” he says. “If you sing, they want to hear a tune.”

And if you hypnotize people, they want to see you do it.

“It all kind of evolved that way,” he says. “And it was fun.”

From there, it was a short trip to the stage and eventually to Chevy’s Nightclub here in Augusta on March 23.

“It’s all laughs,” he says of his adult show. “There is genuine hypnosis going on up there, but that kind of becomes secondary to the humor.”

Though the humor tends to veer toward the bawdy, he says he steers away from crossing too far over the line, though he has no problems giving Captain Milquetoast the night of his life.

“You want them crazy, but I always want the humor to transcend eroticism,” he says. “I certainly want it erotic — it’s an adult show and I have them do some crazy stuff — but by and large, I want the humor to transcend any other component.”

Making people look foolish is being a bully, he says, and bullies don’t get invited back, though participants occasionally do, which causes some people to cry foul.

Conrad, however, says he thinks of himself as a Ferris Wheel operator at a fair.

“If a kid wants to ride the Ferris Wheel again, I can’t say, ‘Look, kid — you’ve been on it three times already, get out of here.’”

Which brings up the question, are participants totally under his control, or are they at some level consciously responding to him out of a desire to please?

It’s a question he sidesteps with practiced ease.

“A football player who wants to make the team is going to catch the ball if you throw it to him,” he says.

“If you go in and say, ‘I’m going to prove I can’t catch the ball’ and I throw it three or four times — you’re not what I’m looking for. There’s an implicit contract.

You’re coming on stage in an adult hypnosis show to star.”

And like the coach who thins out his roster, Conrad says he weeds out those who don’t want to play ball, because people always seem to end up paying more attention to that person than they do the rest.

“So, if I don’t think you’re hypnotized or progressing toward that goal, I jettison you,” he says.

Are you so frustrated with your computer you’ve considered tossing it out the window? Is it so slow you can barely use it? Are you having trouble getting to your favorite web page... or facebood? Are you even tempted to teake it to one of those Big Box Stores for service? Think again!

Do you really want the place that sells you envelopes or flat screen TVs working on your computer? Bring it to ComputerOne today... and our real computer guys will make it all better at a price you can afford.

We’re the opposite of a Big Box Store. We’re the little store in Fairway Square and although we have our own of computer experts, we dont really call them geeks (at least to their faces). They’re just competent, skilled computer technicians with the know-how to clean up your computer at a reasonable price and get you back on the internet fast.

And although we’re not keeping score, given the fact we’re celebrating our 25th anniversary this year, it is very likely we’ve sold and repaired more computers than any other company in Augusta... and we have thousands of satisfied customers to prove it.

THINK. NOT A BIG BOX... NOT EVEN CLOSE

12 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

NOTABIGBOX.COM

Professional Virus & Spyware Removal Services $69.95 Call us today at 706.667.9009

About Us | Services | Virus and Spyware Removal | Custom Built Computers | Point of Sale Systems | Driving Directions | Contact Us Copyright 2011 ComputerOne Technology, Inc., All Rights Reserved - Website developed, hosted and maintained by Southfire, Inc. 2825 Washington Rd., Fairway Square Shopping Center, Augusta, GA 30909 - 706.667.9009

16MAY2013

V24|NO20

Coming Soon to Evans!

Opening May 2013

4349 Washington Road Across from Mellow Mushroom in front of Kroger

Phyllis Salazar Vice President & Office Manager 706-650-2265 NMLS

#405538

www.firstbankofga.com 16MAY2013

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 13

V24|NO20

CRUNCH TIME

By Alan Arbesfeld / Edited by Will Shortz 105 Designer Gernreich 108 Carson’s predecessor 109 Blue Ribbons and others 110 Just makes the 7:47, perhaps 114 Toledo tidbit 116 Subject of the 1998 biography “King of the World” 117 Cute 118 Does spy work 122 George W. Bush acquisition of 2008 123 Homes up high 124 Developed 125 G.I. rations 126 That, in Tijuana 127 Makes an assertion 128 Hunt for water, say Down 1 Old gunfight locales 2 French pantomime character 3 How trout may be prepared: Var. 4 After-dinner order 5 Barrett of Pink Floyd 6 “Oh my!”

7 Start to give trouble to 8 It needs a signature 9 Fire 10 Augments 11 “Hey!” 12 Good qualities 13 Situation after a leadoff single 14 Charge for bloodwork, say 15 Boy or girl lead-in 16 Neighbor of a Belarussian 17 Corroded 18 Alberta’s third-largest city, named after an animal 22 Amérique du ___ 24 Soccer header?

29 Noted taleteller 31 Withdrew 32 Old Cosby show 34 Some successful plays, for short 38 Pitch 39 Nursery gift?

41 Grinning symbols 42 Championship 44 Vintage wheels 46 Native Nebraskan 47 Crush competitor

50 Deli offerings 51 Okla. or Oreg., once 52 Certain tournaments 53 Perfectly fine 54 Precipitousness 56 What makes you you?

57 Pool activity 58 “Well, well!”

60 Word before and after “to,” in a religious phrase 61 Purple shade 62 More suitable 64 Touches 66 Hydroxyl compound 70 20th-century novelist whose first name is an anagram of 66-Down 71 Part of a trap 72 Fed. property overseer 75 Flurry 78 Universal recipient designation 80 ___ Canals 82 “Great” kid-lit detective 83 You might have a good one after a breakup 86 Nile Valley region 88 Isak Dinesen novel setting 89 Cutting comments 90 World’s leading exporter of bananas 91 Nail polish remover component 93 Eagles’ org.

94 ___ d’Amérique 95 Harangues 96 Renounce 97 Naïve 98 “Fuhgeddaboud-it!”

100 High pitch 102 Sleep problem, to Brits 106 50-page book, maybe?

107 ___ blank (had no idea) 109 What’s expected 111 Sportscaster Collinsworth 112 Chinese dynasty during the time of Christ 113 Certain supermarkets 115 Durango dinero 119 Suffix with trick 120 Ungentlemanly sort 12 1 Spanish precious metal

1

2

3

4

5

6

19

7

8

9

10

23 26

28

32

33

68

69

56

57

58

85

99 104

105

101 106

122 126

B E A R I N G

A L S O R A N

T O E N A I L

S C R A W N Y

D T E E R S L Y O I L A P A L T B A E E Y R T G M A T H E R G E A R I O X I

A S K A F T E R

T A I L F I N S

W E N D

A R T E

88

95

96

108

109 114

118

F I L E S

115

116

119

120

123

124

127

128

A M D A E W R L E E A T V I G E T N A A P N S U H E B B E A L L D O O D S W O P A R T

R O U T E

78 84

103

113

117

P A R O L E E S

94

102

107

112

O E V E R R R E L E E A T I V L O T H E L F R O N T R I N O E A K S I A D S C K S J E I L A T S T E R H E N F S I D E T H E A N O N S C C Y T H E C K A N N O T O I N A W N E

83

87 93

100

U M B R E L L A

O R V I L L E

82

92

L A R A

98

73 77

81 86

91

A B C S

97

60 67

76 80

125

62

48

72

75

111

61

47

42

59 66

71

79

110

46

41

51

65 70

16

36 40

45

55 64

90

18

50

54

74

17

39

44

63

15 22

35

49 53

14

29

34

38

43

13

25

27 31

37

89

12 21

24

30

52

11

20

PREVIOUSPUZZLEANSWERS

Across 1 Fancy footwear 6 Turning point at the station?

12 Remote control abbr.

15 Banned apple spray 19 American Dance Theater founder 20 Planets and notes in the musical scale 21 Agitated 23 Early entrepreneurial efforts 25 Argued against 26 California’s old Fort ___ 27 Turn (off) 28 Florentine attraction 30 Small African antelopes 33 When repeated, an engine sound 35 Feudal laborer 36 Serpent’s tail?

37 Running with scissors and others 38 Show-offs 40 Kind of tax 43 Food to go?

45 Santa’s landing spot 48 Not so important 49 Court hearing 50 Persevered 52 Obama’s birthplace 55 Traditional 59 Priest, in an Ogden Nash poem 63 Spanish precious metal 65 Writer Gordimer 67 Syrup source 68 Johannesburg-born golf champion 69 Birthplace of Harry Houdini 73 “Survivor” construction 74 On the fence 76 Jerks 77 Jobs in technology 79 Doubters 81 “Friends” co-star 84 River to the North Sea 85 Whenever 87 Not give ___ 89 Defense grp. that disbanded in 1977 92 Something said before grace?

93 Big name in feminism 99 Sign of stress 101 Ogre, to a kid 103 Arab League headquarters 104 German : Strasse :: French : ___

U S I C R A C H I T H I I O N H E R O E S O F F S S U R T R O O E R L O O M D W I A S T R S C I T C H B R O S O R E G R G H I N I A S G G T

A L N E N G F F L A T

T H I N

121

S C E N H E A T H C E H A E R S F W O R I I S T T E S

FROM MOZART TO METALLICA Elliott Sons Funeral Homes ELLIOTTFUNERALHOME.COM

14 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

16MAY2013

V24|NO20

GREGORY A. BAKER, PH.D

An Obvious Solution

iPhone? Great. But there’s a little problem with Siri.

A couple of weeks ago my phone died. It wasn’t the pixelated-screen or scratchy-sound kind of dead. It was the ain’t-no-way-I’m-working-everagain kind of dead. To their credit, Verizon was wonderful. I told them (as I told all of you a while back) that I was waiting on the Samsung Galaxy S4, and they did everything they could to get me through the next couple of months. They tested my old phone. They sent me a new Droid X. They told me how to get a new battery.

But after walking out of Verizon for the third time, the solution finally hit me. So I turned around and walked back in.

“This is too difficult. Can I just get an iPhone?”

“Siri, Don’t Talk To Strangers” — The only real glitch with my iPhone turns out to be a default configuration setting. The issue begins with my wife’s iPhone. Her iPhone has become community property. As a matter of fact, my daughters carry the phone around more than my wife. In order for my iPhone to avoid this fate, I enabled the screen lock. As an aside… the look on my daughter’s face when she saw the screen lock for the first time… what a precious moment!

Turns out that Siri is still enabled even though the screen is locked. To test this, lock your screen and then hold down the button. If Siri answers, ask her the simple question, “Who am I?” You now see what information is available should your phone get lost or stolen. Yes, you should be scared.

It’s a simple fix. Go to Settings, then General, then Passcode Lock. Change the setting for Allow Access When Locked: Siri to OFF. Now as long as your children don’t discover you’ve secretly installed Subway Surfer, you should be good.

The Truth About Boob Plates — Never mind Benghazi. Forget about the IRS targeting the Tea Party. This past week saw a revelation that set the fantasy world abuzz and brought disillusionment to millions of adolescent boys (and their fathers).

Yes, of course, I’m talking about the revelation that boob plate armor can be deadly.

No matter how unenlightened you might be, I’m sure you’ve all seen those fantasy drawings of the medieval female warrior dressed in feminine armor with highly exaggerated parts. (I’m not referring to the metallic lingerie girls a la Princess Leia, but the fully armored Joan of Arc types.) In a riveting expose, tor.com describes how the features of feminine armor create a death trap for the wearer.

It all starts with the fundamental purpose of armor: protection. Manly armor is shaped to deflect blows away from the body. The cone-like protrusions found on boob plate armor not only fail to deflect attacks to the torso, but the armor actually channels the blows toward the center where they can cause the most damage.

In addition, dimpled breastplate creates a pressure point on the sternum that could serve to fracture or crush the chest given a strong enough blow.

So all you ladies, while you’ve grown up being taught that no self-respecting warrior would be caught dead at ComicCon without their boob plates and stilettos, just remember that it’s all for looks. When not used properly, those things can kill.

Until next time, I’m off the grid @gregory_a_baker.

GREGORY A. BAKER, PH.D, is vice president and chief rocket scientist for CMA, which provides information technology services to CSRA businesses and nonprofits.

16MAY2013

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 15

V24|NO19

Think you’ve got a great shot of the Augusta Canal?

Then send it in to Capturing the Canal, a black and white photo competition that is now accepting entries. The Kroc Center is hosting event, which is open to all local photographers.

Entries will be accepted until May 31. Call 706-922-0171 or visit krocaugusta.org.

ENTERTAIN

Arts

Capturing the Canal, a black and white photo competition, is now accepting entries. The Kroc Center is hosting a black and white photo competition open to all local photographers. Entries will be accepted until May 31. Call 706-922-0171 or visit krocaugusta.org.

A Sense of Place national juried fine arts competition is seeking entries through May 31. Eligible media are as follows: painting, drawing, mixed media, printmaking, photography, ceramics and sculpture. Call 706-7225495 or visit ghia.org.

Day of Art, hosted by the North Augusta Artists Guild, is each Tuesday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. at the Arts and Heritage Center of North Augusta and includes a group of artists painting in the center who will answer questions or allow visitors to join in. Call 803-441-4380 or visit artsandheritagecenter.com.

Corks & Canvas painting classes for adults 21 and over are held every Tuesday and Thursday night beginning at 7 p.m. and lasting 2-3 hours.

Painting materials provided. Bring your own wine and clothes to paint in. $30; $25 with military I.D. Pre-registration required. Call 706-868-0990 or visit pstudio.com.

Exhibitions

Student artwork from North Augusta schools will exhibit through May 17 at the Arts and Heritage Center of North Augusta. Call 803-441-4380 or visit artsandheritagecenter.com.

Marianna Williams Exhibit will be at Sacred Heart Cultural Center, through June 28. Call 706-826-4700 or visit sacredheartaugusta.org.

The Drawings of Rebecca Clark will be on exhibit at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art through May 17. Her subject matter is the interconnected nature of the insects, animals and plants of her environment. Members, free; non-members, $5. Call 706-722-5495 or visit ghia.org.

“Restoration,” an exhibit of work by GRU adjunct instructor Mahera Khaleque, will be on display through May 17 at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art. Members, free; non-members, $5. Call 706-722-5495 or visit ghia.org.

The Godfather of Soul James Brown exhibit is on display at the Augusta Museum of History. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

16 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

ME

“Romantic Spirits” exhibit, featuring paintings of the South from the Johnson collection, will be on display through May 26 at the Morris Museum of Art. Call 706-828-3825 or visit themorris.org.

Savannah River Winds, presented by the Henry Jacobs Chamber Music Society, will perform Thursday, May 23, at 7:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706-922-0171 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Georgia Regents University Senior Exit Exhibition will be held at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art through May 29. Features the work of BFA candidates Nina Daniels and Sarah Brown. Call 706-722-5495 or visit ghia.org.

Candlelight Jazz, featuring JAMP Masters and Afro Cubop Quartet will take place Friday, May 19, at 8 p.m. at the River Stage in downtown Augusta, 8th St. at Riverwalk. $6, free for kids under 13. Visit gardencityjazz.com.

“Blast From the Past” is on display at Augusta Museum of History to celebrate the museum’s 75th anniversary. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

“Local Legends” is a permanent exhibit highlighting Augusta notables on display at the Augusta Museum of History. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

“Protect and Serve,” an exhibit highlighting the stories of CSRA law enforcement officers, is on display at the Augusta Museum of History. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

“Delightful Decanters” is a temporary exhibit on display at the Augusta Museum of History featuring colorful bottles used to sell products as late as the 1970s. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

Music

Jerrod Gay will play on the Moonlight Music Canal Cruise, 7-8:30 p.m., Friday, May 17. $25 per person; passengers may bring aboard snacks and beverages. Call 706-823-0440, ext. 4, or visit augustacanal.com.

The Fort Gordon Signal Corps Concert Band will perform at The Verandah at Maude Edenfield Park in North Augusta as part of the Music in the Park series, presented by the North Augusta Cultural Arts Council, 7 p.m., Thursday, May 16. Free. In case of weather, concerts will be held in the adjacent Community Center. Blankets encouraged. Call 803-442-7588 or visit naartscouncil.org.

Midday Music will be held by First Presbyterian Church, noon, Thursday, May 16. Free. Reservations required. Call 803-648-2662 or visit aikenpresbyterian.org.

Music at the Morris: Shannon Whitworth is Sunday, May 19, at 2 p.m. at the Morris Museum of Art. Free. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org.

Hopelands Gardens Concert Series presents Savannah River Winds on Monday, May 20, at 7 p.m. at the Roland H. Windham Performing Arts Stage in Aiken. Free. Call 803-642-7631 or visit facebook.com/ experienceaiken.

Literary

CSRA Writers will meet Monday, May 20, at 6:30 p.m. at Georgia Military College, 115 Davis Road. Writers needing a support group are invited to attend and bring eight copies of a manuscript to be critiqued. Call 706836-7315.

Dance

Augusta Christian Singles holds dances every Saturday night, beginning at 8 p.m., with free dance lessons at 7 p.m. Dances are held at Ballroom Dance Center, 525 Grand Slam Drive (off Evans to Locks Road) in Evans.

This Saturday, May 18 will honor past and present members of the armed forces, with $5 admission for all currently serving and retired military. $5 admission for ladies; men are $10. Admission includes light meal or heavy refreshments, desserts, soft drinks and coffee in an alcohol/smoke free environment, and music includes country, shag, oldies and more. Dress is casual (jeans are fine). All singles 18 years old and up are welcome. Visit christiandances.org.

Theater

“The Fox on the Fairway” will be performed by Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre, Thursday and Friday, May 17-18, and Thursday-Saturday, May 23-25. $30-$45. Call 706-791-4389 or visit fortgordon.com/theatre.

“August: Osage County” by Tracy Letts will be performed at Le Chat Noir, 8 p.m., Thursday-Saturday, May 16-18. $25. Call 706-722-3322 or visit lcnaugusta.com.

Auditions for a production of “Les Miserables” will be held by the Augusta Players at Wesley United Methodist Church, beginning 7 p.m., Thursday, May 16. Call 706-826-4707 or visit augustaplayers.org.

9MAY2013

V24|NO19

Cabaret Diabolique features songs, dances, costumes, magic tricks and other surprises. The show will be presented on Friday May 17, and Saturday May 18, at 9 p.m. at Sector 7G, 631 Ellis Street, $10 admission.

Both nights will feature a special Vegas pre-show party with Dj Codec starting at 7:30, and Saturday night will feature a splattervision section for those who want to get bloody. Visit sector7gaugusta.com.

Auditions for a production of “Les Miserables” will be held at Le Chat Noir from noon-3 p.m. on Saturday, May 18, and from 6 to 8 p.m. on Monday, May 18.

Participants should prepare to sing only songs from Les Mis. An accompanist will be provided. Call 706722-3322 or visit lcnaugusta.com.

Weekly Wine Tastings at Vineyard Wine Market in Evans are held 4:30-6:30 p.m. Fridays, and 1-6 p.m.

Saturdays. Call 706-922-9463 or visit vine11.com.

Saturday Market at the River is each Saturday through November 23 from 8 a.m.-2 p.m. at the 8th Street Bulkhead downtown and features vendors, food, drinks, entertainment and a group run that begins at 8 a.m. Visit theaugustamarket.com.

Pet adoptions are held by CSRA Happy Tails Rescue at the Mullins Crossing Petco in Evans from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. each Sunday and from 1-4 p.m. each Saturday and Sunday at the Tractor Supply Company. Visit csrahappytails.com.

Flix

Health

“Silver Linings Playbook” will be shown on Tuesday, May 21, from 6:30-9 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Big Brother/Big Sister class will be held at Doctors Hospital, Thursday, May 16 from 6-7:30 p.m. Prepares kids to welcome their new baby sister or brother.

Registration required. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

“Marilyn Hotchkiss’ Ballroom Dancing and Charm School” (PG-13) will be shown at the Nancy Carson Library in North Augusta, 7-9 p.m., Thursday, May 16. Bring your own refreshments. Call 803-2795757 or visit abbe-lib.org.

Special Events

Cotton Ball will be presented by Historic Augusta at 2644 Henry Street, 6:30-9 p.m., Thursday, May 16.

Membership starts at $50 per individual and $75 per couple. Call 706-724-0436 or visit historicaugusta.org.

May Member Economic Luncheon will be held 11:30 a.m., Thursday, May 16 at the Augusta Marriott.

Chamber members $30; non-members $40; corporate tables $240. Registration required. Volunteers are needed as well. Visit 706-821-1300 or visit augustametrochamber.com.

Wine Tasting will be held at Wine World in North Augusta, 5-8 p.m., Thursday, May 16 and Friday, May 17. Call 803-279-9522 or visit wineworldsc.com.

Aiken Garden Show, hosted by The Aiken County Historical Museum, and Banksia, is Friday and Saturday, May 17-18, from 8:30a.m.-4p.m. on both days. Call 803-641-6777 or visit aikengardenshow.org.

Web Afternoon will be presented Saturday, May 18, from 1-6 p.m. at the Imperial Theatre. Both speakers and attendees will be people from a variety of disciplines, but who all share a common passion. Some of the brightest minds from design, development, experience and technology will share their thoughts on how to make the web a better experience. $20-$79.

Visit imperialtheatre.com.

Thunder over Augusta is Saturday, May 18, from 9:30 a.m.-9 p.m. at Evans Towne Center Park. Free. The Lt. Dan Band will perform, and in addition to the fireworks, there will be motocross stunts, helicopter rides, and airplane flyover, military displays, a skydive drop in and a kids’ fun zone. Call 706-863-7523 or visit thunderoveraugusta.com.

Augusta Living Green Day is May Saturday, May 18.

This recycling event will accept scrap tires and home electronics from 9 a.m.-2 p.m. at the Julian Smith Casino parking lot at Lake Olmstead. Visit augusta.gov/green.

Spaghetti Supper and Bake Sale will take place Saturday, May 18, from 6-8 p.m. at the Fraternal Order of Eagles club at 1999 Scott Rd. in Augusta. Admission is $8 or $8.50 for takeout. Call 706-790-8040.

Evans Towne Farmers Market is held on the grounds of the Columbia County Public Library each Thursday through June from 4:30-7 p.m. All meats, eggs, dairy and produce will be from local and sustainable farms. There will also be cooking demos and education, local artisans with handcrafted goods, live music, local food vendors and weekly events. Visit evanstownefarmersmarket.com.

9MAY2013

Mobile Mammography Screenings will be held 8 a.m.-3 p.m. on Thursday, May 16, at the Columbia County Government Complex, Evans. Free through Medicare.

Appointment required. Call 706-774-4149 or visit universityhealth.org.

Breastfeeding Class for expectant mothers will be held at Babies R Us in Evans 7-9 p.m., Thursday, May 16.

Free. Registration required. Call 706-774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org.

Lupus Patient Seminar will be held at GRU’s Alumni Center, Saturday, May 18, from 1-5 p.m. Call 770-3335930 or visit lupusga.org.

Breastfeeding Class for patients of Aiken Regional Medical Center is Tuesday, May 21, from 6-8 p.m. at Aiken Regional Medical Center. $5. Visit aikenregional.com.

Short and Sweet, a weekend childbirth class, will be presented Saturday and Sunday, May 18 and 19, at Doctors Hospital at 9-4:30 p.m. Saturday and 1-5 p.m. Sunday. The class will cover the process of labor and delivery, comfort techniques and childbirth, medication/epidurals and relaxation and breathing techniques. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctorshospital.net.

Breast Health: The Facts will be presented Tuesday, May 21, at 6 p.m. at Lighthouse Baptist Church in Aiken. Gwen Cubbage, supervisor at Women’s LifeCare Diagnostic Services, and Carolyn Cook, Breast Health Nurse Navigator, will discuss the facts that women need to know about breast health. Their discussion will cover breast self-exams and what to expect if diagnosed with breast cancer. A free light dinner will be served. Visit aikenregional.com.

Powerful Tools for Caregivers class will be offered at Doctors Hospital, 2-3:30 p.m., on Thursday, May 23.

Provides tools for caregivers to assist and support an elderly or chronically ill loved one. For more information, call 706-651-2490 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

Keep My Skin Healthy: Facts & Myths About Skin Cancer will be presented by University Hospital at the Snelling Center on Thursday, May 23, from 6-7:30 p.m. Call 706-828-2502 or visit skincancer.eventbrite.com.

Yoga Class is offered by the Kroc Center every Saturday at The Augusta Market downtown, 10-11 a.m. Free. Bring your own mat. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Yoga I offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken 8:45-9:45 a.m., Tuesdays and Thursdays; Yoga II is offered 8:459:45 a.m., Fridays; Evening Yoga is offered 5:30-6:30 p.m., Mondays and Wednesdays. $41 for 10 tickets.

Call 803-642- 7631.

Tai Chi for Boomers is held at 6 p.m. every Tuesday and Thursday. Call 706 394-0590, email sbeasley@ AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 17

V24|NO19

augustameditation.com or visit augustameditation.com/taichi.html.

Stress Management Classes are held at the University Hospital Heart & Vascular Institute at 8:15 a.m., 9:15 a.m. and 1:45 p.m. each Wednesday.

Call 706-774-3278 or visit universityhealth.org.

Multiple Sclerosis and Parkinson’s Disease Aquatics Class meets every Monday and Friday at noon at the Wilson Family Y. Members, free; nonmembers, $5. Pre-registration required. Call 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org.

Adult Sexual Assault and Rape Support Group provides group counseling at University Hospital for those who have experienced sexual assault, incest, rape or childhood sexual abuse. Call 706-724-5200 or visit universityhealth.org.

Alcoholics Anonymous is a support group for those who wish to stop drinking. Call 706-860-8331.

Beyond the Bars is a support group for those with incarcerated loved ones. Call 706-855-8636.

Heart Attack and Stroke Prevention Orientation is held every Tuesday at 2 p.m. at University Hospital’s Heart & Vascular Institute (Classroom 3).

Free. Call 706-774-5548 or visit universityhealth.org.

Alcoholics Anonymous open discussion meeting takes place every Sunday and Wednesday, 7:15 p.m. at Aurora Pavilion in Aiken. Call 806-641-5000 or visit aikenregional.com/hospital-services/behavioral-health-services.

Cardiopulmonary Rehabilitation program covers topics such as coronary artery disease, heart attack and CHF at the University Hospital Heart and Vascular Institute. Program is held each Wednesday at 8:15 and 9:15 a.m., and 1:45 p.m. Call 706-774-3278 or visit universityhealth.org.

Burn Support Group meets every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Doctors Hospital’s Lori Rogers Nursing Library, JMS Building. All burn survivors, and their families and friends are welcome. Call Tim Dorn at 706-6516660 or visit doctors- hospital.net.

Adapted Evaluation, a 30-minute initial and annual evaluation including medical history and water assessment, is offered at the Wilson Family Y. $25. Call 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org.

Cardiac Support Group meets three times a year. Free. Pre-registration requested. Call 706-774-5864 or visit universityhealth.org.

Adapted Special Populations classes offered at the Wilson Family Y. Members $11; non-members $22. Call 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org.

Adapted Wii Special Populations available by appointment at the Wilson Family Y, and feature individual half-hour classes for physically and developmentally challenged individuals of all ages. Members, $10; nonmembers, $20. Call 706-922-9662 or visit thefamilyy.org.

Support

Overeaters Anonymous meets at St. Andrews Presbyterian Church, 7:30 p.m., Tuesdays and at Covenant Presbyterian Church, 1:30 p.m., Saturdays.

Call 907-854-1509.

AA meets every Sunday and Wednesday at 7:15 p.m. at Aiken Regional Medical Centers’ Aurora Pavilion, and includes an open discussion. Call 800-322-8322 or visit aikenregional.com.

18 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Diabetes Youth Support Group meets quarterly. Call 706-868-3241 or visit universityhealth.org.

Families Who Have Lost a Baby Support Group is offered by GRU. Call 706721- 8299 or visit gru.edu.

Gamblers Anonymous is a support group for those who wish to stop gambling. Call 800-313-0170.

Living With Diabetes, a program designed to teach skills needed to manage diabetes, is offered at Trinity Hospital. Physician referral required.

Call 706-481-7535 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Natural Family Planning support group meets locally. Call 706-481-7604 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Overeaters Support Group meets locally. Call 706-785-0006 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Parents of Hearing-Impaired Children meets locally. Call 706-481-7396 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Reach for Recovery is presented locally by the American Cancer Society.

Call 706-731-9900 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Recovery Support Group meets 7:30 p.m. Sundays and Fridays. Call 706855- 2419.

Education

Placemaking, Environmental Graphics and Wayfinding Open House. GRU’s Facilities Services and the Office of Communication and Marketing are hosting the event Friday, May 17, from 9-11 a.m. at GRU’s Summerville campus at University Hall. Call 706-721-4551 or visit gru.edu.

Setting Up an E-Mail Account will be presented Thursday, May 23, from 11 a.m.-noon at the Appleby Library Branch. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org.

Intermediate Word Processing, a three-session class, meets Thursdays until May 23, from 10 a.m.-noon at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library.

Pre-registration required. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org.

Advanced Sign Language Classes will be held at University Hospital, 7-8:30 p.m., Thursdays, through May 30. $40 per person, per class; $40 for textbook. Call 706-774-8559 or visit universityhealth.org.

Lupus Support Group meets at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706394-6484 or 706-821-2600, or visit ecgrl.org.

Finding the Way Forward Workshop, a free program for college and career planning for girls in 8th-12th grades is accepting applications through May 31. The Jessye Norman School of the Arts is presenting the workshop, which will include visits to three local colleges. Workshop dates are June 5-7. Visit jessyenormanschool.org to apply, or come by the school at 739 Green St. to pick up an application.

Narcotics Anonymous meets Fridays and Sundays at 7:30 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. Visit na.org.

Intermediate Spanish Language Class is each Monday from 2:30-4 p.m. at Friedman Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org.

9MAY2013

V24|NO19

9MAY2013

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 23

V24|NO19

Beginner’s Spanish Language Class is each Monday from 4-5 p.m. at Friedman Library. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org.

Free Tutoring for all ages, offered by GRU’s Literacy Center, is available by appointment Monday-Thursday, from 4-8 p.m., at the center at 1401 Magnolia Drive. Appointments required. Call 706-737-1625 or visit gru.edu.

GED Classes are held Tuesdays and Thursdays from 5:30-8:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Preregistration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

English as a Second Language (ESL) classes are offered every Tuesday from 6-7:30 p.m. at Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Fort Gordon Toastmasters meets 11:30 a.m. each Wednesday in the Organizational Conference Room (Fish Bowl) on Fort Gordon Army base. Open to the public. Visit fortgordon.toastmastersclubs.org.

Adult Hebrew Class is taught at Congregation Children of Israel at 10:30 a.m. every Thursday. Email office@ cciaugusta.org or visit cciaugusta.org.

Computer classes are offered every Thursday at 6 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org.

Guided tours of 1797 Ezekiel Harris House offered by appointment only Tuesday-Friday, and Saturday 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Last tours of the day begin at 4 p.m.

Adults, $2; children, $1. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

Historic Trolley Tour of Augusta aboard the Lady Libby boards at the Augusta Museum of History at 1:30 p.m., Saturdays. See historic sites and hear spooky legends, including the legend of the famous Haunted Pillar. $12, including admission to the museum.

24 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Reservations required 24 hours in advance. Call 706722-8454 or visit augustaga.org.

Tours of the Boyhood Home of President Woodrow Wilson are held regularly. Adults $5; seniors $4; kids K-12 $3; under 5 years free. Reservations required for groups of 10 or more. Call 706-722-9828.

Sports-Outdoors

Cornhole League preseason party will be held at Mi Rancho Mexican Restaurant in downtown Augusta, 7 p.m., Thursday, May 16. All players must attend and pay at the preseason party. No late entries accepted. $50 per player due up front; remaining $50 due prior to Week 5. Season starts 7 p.m., Tuesday, May 21. Call 803-270-6123 or visit facebook.com/cornholecarolina.

MOMS Club of Aiken 5K Run/Walk will take place Friday, May 17, at 6 p.m. at Citizens Park in Aiken. Visit active. com/running/aiken-sc/moms-club-5k-run-walk-2013.

Trolley Run 5K, 10K and Kids’ Fun Run is Saturday, May 18, at 8 a.m. at Trolley Run Station in Aiken. $35 for Family Y members, $35 for non-members. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Cystic Fibrosis Walk will take place Saturday, May 18, at 10 a.m. at the Odell Weeks Center in Aiken. Call 803345-3032 or email jensworld71@gmail.com.

On the Edge Ice show will be presented Saturday and Sunday, May 18 and 19, at 5:30 p.m. The show will be held at the Augusta Ice Sports Center, and admission is $5. Call 706-863-0061 or visit augustaicesports.com.

Augusta GreenJackets home games are as follows: Thursday, May 16-Saturday, May 18, at 7:05 p.m., and Sunday, May 19, at 2:05 p.m. vs. the Savannah Sand Gnats at GreenJackets Stadium. $1-$15. Call 706-9229467 or visit greenjacketsbaseball.com.

Triple 8 Group Run meets at 8th and Reynolds, 8 a.m.,

9MAY2013

V24|NO19

every Saturday through Oct. 26. Choose your distance: 3, 6 or 8 miles.

Open to everyone. Visit theaugustamarket.com.

Adult swim lessons are offered at the Family Y of Downtown Augusta for ages 13 and up. Days and times vary by branch. Members $55 per month; non-members $85 per month. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Olympic-style Tae Kwon Do, taught by Master Michael L. Weintraub, is each Tuesday and Friday at 5:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.com.

Tae Kwon Do is offered at the Wilson Family Y, Family Y of Augusta South and Family Y of North Augusta. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Kickball League registration is available for a new adult co-ed league at Riverview Park. Call 941-716-3163 or visit augustakickball.com.

Wheelchair Tennis Clinic, presented by the Walton Foundation for Independence, meets each Monday at 6 p.m. (weather permitting) at The Club at Rae’s Creek. Free and open to the public. Call 706-826-5809 or email alsalley@wrh.org.

Yoga Class at Euchee Creek Library meets every Tuesday at 4 p.m.

Call 706- 556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org.

Weekly Group Runs include the Monday Metro Run meeting at Metro Coffeehouse at 6 p.m.; Monday Intervals meeting at the Family Y track on Wheeler Road at 7 p.m.; the Tuesday Nacho Mama’s Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday’s Blanchard Woods Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday Stay in Shape Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday’s Post Office Hill Training Run at 7 p.m.; Thursday’s Homer Hustle at 6 p.m.; and Saturday’s Stay in Shape Run at 8 a.m. Visit augustastriders.com.

Visit augustarugby.org or Facebook under the Augusta Rugby Club heading.

Hott Shott Disc Golf is held each Wednesday at 7 p.m. at Killer B Disc Golf in downtown Augusta, and features games and prizes for all ages and skill levels. $2. Call 706-814-7514 or visit killerbdiscgolf.blogspot.com/p/ hott-shott.

Thursday Night Chain Reaction Ride begins at 6 p.m. each Thursday at Patriots Park in Grovetown. For intermediate to fast-paced cyclists, who average 25-32 miles. Participants should bring their own water and helmet. Call 706-855-2024 or visit chainreactionbicycles.net.

Riverview Disc Golf League meets each Thursday at 6 p.m. at Riverview Park in North Augusta. Entry fee, $5; ace pool, $1. Call 803-215-8181 or visit augustadiscgolf.com.

Road Bike Ride meets each Thursday at 6:30 p.m. at Andy Jordan’s Bicycle Warehouse downtown for an approximately 25-mile ride at a moderate to fast pace. Front and rear lights, as well as a helmet, are required. Call 706724-6777 or visit andyjordans.com.

Guided Trail Rides at Hilltop Riding Stables at Fort Gordon are available Saturdays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m., noon, 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m.; Sundays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m. and noon; and Wednesday-Friday at 11 a.m. with reservations 24 hours in advance. All trail rides are on a first-come, first-served basis, and participants should arrive 30 minutes prior to the trail ride starting for sign in procedures. $23-$30. Call 706-791-4864 or visit fortgordon.com.

Lakeside Rideouts at Hilltop Riding Stables at Fort Gordon are each Sunday beginning at 1:30 p.m. on a first-come, first-served basis. The ride, which begins at 2 p.m., is a two-hour guided ride to Wilkerson Lake. $45-$50.

Call 706-791-4864 or visit fortgordon.com.

The Augusta Furies Women’s Rugby Football Club practices 6-8 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays at Julian Smith Casino for players 18 and up.

Email augusta.furies@gmail.com or visit augustafuries.org.

Adapted Aquatics for Special Populations offered at the Wilson Family Y by appointment. Members, $11 per session; non-members, $22 per session.

Discount for additional siblings. Call 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org.

The Augusta Rugby Club holds weekly practice sessions at 6:30 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays at the Larry Bray Memorial Pitch in Augusta.

Experienced players and newbies ages 18 and up are welcome. Bring a pair of cleats or cross trainers, a mouthguard, gym shorts and a T-shirt.

The Augusta Fencers Club is open five nights a week from 5:30-9 p.m. and most Saturday mornings from 10 a.m.-noon. Visitors always welcome. Call 706-722- 8878.

9MAY2013

BlazeSports Swim Team, for all ages of physically challenged swimmers who want to train for competition, meets at the Wilson Family Y. Members, $35 a month; non-members, $50 a month. Pre-registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Civil War 150th Canal Tour, “Food, Fabric and Firepower,” is offered by the Augusta Canal Interpretive Center at 1:30 p.m. daily through 2013. Call 706-823- 0440 or visit augustacanal.com.

Kids-Teens

Flower Mobile Craft Time, for ages 2 and up, is Thursday, May 16, at 11 a.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org.

Youth Leadership Graduation Celebration is Thursday, May 16, from 2-9:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Big Brother/Big Sister, a class for soon-to-be older sibling that will help them care for a new baby, is Thursday, May 16, from 6-7:30 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-651-BABY or visit doctors-hospital.net.

Diva-Betics Fundraiser will take place Friday, May 17, from 5-8 p.m. at Monkey Joe’s. Benefitting the Juvenile Diabetes research Foundation, admission is $6 and includes giveaways and raffles. Call 706-922-5867 or visit monleyjoes.com.

Bedaroos. Make a craft using Bendaroos at the Appleby Library Branch on Monday, May 20, from 4-5 p.m. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org.

SMART Goal Setting for Teens will be held Monday, May 21, from 4-5:30 p.m. at the Diamond Lakes Library Branch. This class is best for ages 1117. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org.

BZZZZ!, a program to teach why bees are important to our ecosystems, will be presented Tuesday, May 21, from 4:30-5:30 p.m. at Reed Creek Park. For ages 5 and up; kids must be accompanied by an adult. Members are free; admission for non-members is $2 per child. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com.

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 25

V24|NO19

&DOO 8V RU *R 2QOLQH IRU <RXU FREE (VWLPDWH SEE WHAT FISH HAS TO OFFER: Âť ([SHUW :LQGRZ &OHDQLQJ ,QFOXGLQJ 6LOOV 6FUHHQV Âť *XWWHUV &KDQGHOLHUV 6N\OLJKWV 0LUURUV 0RUH Âť 8QLIRUPHG %RQGHG ,QVXUHG 3URIHVVLRQDO &OHDQHUV Âť &RPPHUFLDO 5HVLGHQWLDO 6HUYLFH Âť 6DWLVIDFWLRQ *XDUDQWHHG

(706) 305-3900

Ă&#x20AC;VKZLQGRZFOHDQLQJ FRP Locally Owned & Operated

Watson-Brown Foundation Junior Board needs members. Looking for high-school students to spend one evening a month learning about historic preservation, grants and philanthropy. Call 706595-7777, email mzupan@hickory-hill.org or visit hickory-hill.org.

DuPont Planetarium shows for Saturdays in May are â&#x20AC;&#x153;In My Backyardâ&#x20AC;? at 8 p.m. and â&#x20AC;&#x153;More Than Meets the Eyeâ&#x20AC;? at 9 p.m. Weather permitting, the observatory, housing the Bechtel Telescope, will be available for viewing after each show. General admission $4.50; seniors $3.50; 4K-12 $2.50; valid college or military I.D. gets you a 50-percent discount; USCA faculty, staff and students $1. Kids under 4 not permitted in public viewings.

Reservations encouraged. Call 803-641-3654.

Drop and Shop is offered at the North Augusta Family Y, 9 a.m.-noon, Monday through Friday. Bring kids 8 weeks to 12 years old while you have a morning to shop. Free. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Georgia Connections Academy, a free virtual public charter school has spots for 1,000 K-12 students in Georgia. Call 800-382-6010 or visit connectionsacademy.com/georgia-school/enrollment/ home.aspx.

Georgia Regents Health System is taking applications for the summer Volunteen Program. High school students between 15 and 18 years of age are eligible to apply for this six-week program that provides an educational, hands-on volunteer experience in the academic health center environment. Call 706-7213596 or visit grhealth.org/volunteer.

Tae Kwon Do is offered for all skill levels age 5 and up at the Family Y of Aiken County, North Augusta, Augusta South and the Wilson Family Y. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Ceramics Class, for ages 14 and up, meets Mondays at 9 a.m. or 6 p.m., Tuesdays at 6 p.m., and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. in the Weeks Ceramics Center. Call 803-6427631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Creative Arts offered at the Family Y of North Augusta for ages 5-12 years. Members, $35 per month; non-members, $55 per month. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Toddler Time, playtime for children ages 5 and under, is each Monday and Wednesday from 9:30-11:30 a.m. at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. $2 per visit; $16 per 10-visit pass. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Morning Out is offered at the Family Y of North Augusta for ages 2-4 years, 9 a.m.-noon, either Monday and Wednesday or Tuesday and Thursday.

Mothers enjoy a relaxing morning twice a week while kids learn. Members, $70 a month; non-members, $90 a month. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Drop and Shop is offered Monday-Friday at The Family Y of Augusta South for kids age 8 weeks-4 years, 8:30 a.m.-noon. Members, $5 a child per day; nonmembers, $7 a child per day. Also offered at North Augusta branch, 9 a.m.-noon. Members, $9 a day; non-members, $15 a day. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Little Friends Gym, a parent and child class for those ages 6 months-4 years, is held each Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov.

Story Time is held at the Columbia County Library at 10:15 and 11 a.m. Tuesdays, for kids under 2 years old; at 10:15 a.m. Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays for 2-year-olds; at 11 a.m., Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays for preschoolers; and at 4 p.m. Wednesdays for all ages. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org.

Loud Crowd, a supervised after-school program for

26 METROSPIRITAUGUSTAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

those ages 4-12, is Monday- Friday from 3-6 p.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-8602833 or visit augustaga.gov.

Homeschool PE Time, for elementary school aged kids, meets Monday-Friday, from 9-11 a.m. at the Kroc Center. Members free. Call 706-364-5762 for nonmember prices. Visit krocaugusta.org.

Motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Morning Out is every Tuesday and Thursday, 9 a.m.-1 p.m., at the Wilson Family Y for children ages 3-4. The schedule follows the Richmond County school calendar. $90 per month for members; $110 per month for non- members. Register at any Family Y or visit thefamilyy.org.

Story Time is held at the Diamond Lakes Branch library 10 a.m. each Tuesday. Registration required for groups of six or more. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org.

Tai Chi Panda, a Chinese martial arts program for kids ages 5-13, meets Tuesdays and Thursdays. Ages 5-7 meet at 4 p.m.; ages 8-10 meet at 5 p.m.; ages 11-13 meet at 6 p.m. Call 706-394-0590 or visit augustameditation.com/ taichi.html.

Preschool Story Time is every Tuesday at Headquarters Branch Library at 10 a.m. Toddler Story Time is every Wednesday at 10 a.m. Group registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Story Time is held every Tuesday at 10 a.m. at Friedman Branch Library. Groups of six or more must pre-register. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org.

Story Time is every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Harlem Branch Library. Call 706- 556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org.

Kroc Trotters Running Group, for those ages 16 and older, meets at 6:30 p.m. each Tuesday and Thursday at the Kroc Center to run the trails of the Augusta Canal. $15. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Story Time is held every Wednesday from 10-11:15 a.m. at Wallace Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org.

Story Time is held each Wednesday at 10 a.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Pre-registration required for groups. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org.

Wacky Wednesday Story Time is each Wednesday at 10 a.m. in the childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s department of Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall. Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com.

Story Time is held each Wednesday at the Appleby Branch Library from 10:05- 10:20 a.m. for toddlers age 18-35 months, and from 10:30-11:15 a.m. for preschool kids age 3 and up. An adult must remain with the child. Call 706-736- 6244 or visit ecgrl.org.

Story Time is every Wednesday at 10:15 a.m. for pre-K, and either 11 or 11:30 a.m. for preschoolers at Aiken County Public Library. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org.

Story Time is every Wednesday from 10:30-11 a.m. for toddlers and 11:15-11:45 a.m. for preschoolers at North Augusta Branch Library. Call 803-279-5767 or abbe-lib.org.

Story Time at the Euchee Creek Branch Library, for all ages, is held each Wednesday at 10:30 a.m. and each Tuesday at 4:30 p.m. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org.

Study Hall for teens meets Wednesdays from 3-5 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-8212600 or visit ecgrl.org/teens.

Homeschool Playgroup meets each Thursday at 10:30 a.m. at Creighton Park in North Augusta. Call 803613-0484.

Mudpuppies, an arts and crafts program for ages 2-5, 9MAY2013

V24|NO19

The Augusta Arsenal Soccer Club Junior Academy, for boys and girls ages 5- 8, meets each Thursday at 5:30 p.m. at the Augusta Soccer Park. Call 706-854- 0149 or visit augustasoccer.com.

Fairy Tale Ballet is held at the Family Y of Aiken County.

Offered once a week for one month for a total of four classes. Members, $25 a month; non-members, $35 a month. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Boy and Girl Scout troops are hosted by Augusta Jewish Community Center. For Boy Scouts, visit troop119bsa.com or email geoffstew@gmail.com. For Girl Scouts, email sbehrend@bellsouth.net. For Daisy/ Brownie Troop, email bdmrev@yahoo.com.

Creek Freaks, a Georgia Adopt-a-Stream team of middle- and high-school students, meets regularly at Phinizy Swamp Nature Park to monitor the health of Butler Creek. Call 706-796-7707 or visit naturalscienceacademy.org.

Fun-Time Fridays, for ages 2-5, is held each Friday at 10:45-11:30 a.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov.

Gesher, a teen program for post b’nai mitzvah youngsters (7th-12th grade), meets every other Sunday at Adas Yeshurun Synagogue. Call 706733-9491.

Hobbies

Bingo is held every Sunday at 1:30 p.m. and every Monday and Thursday at 7 p.m. at the Fraternal Order of the Eagles Post 1197 on Scott Road. Free. Call 706-495-3219.

Crafters Night is each Monday from 6-8 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364- 5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Simple Cooking Class meets each Monday from 6:308:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

The Garden City Chorus, the area’s leading men’s singing group and a member of the Barbershop Harmony Society, is seeking new members. Those interested are welcome to attend Tuesday night rehearsals, held at 7 p.m. at North Augusta Church of Christ on W. Martintown Road. Visit gardencitychorus.org.

Bingo is held every Saturday at 1 p.m. at American Legion Post 205 on Highland Avenue. Call 706495-3219.

Spiritual

Night of Worship will take place at Mosaic UMC in Evans, 7 p.m., Thursday, May 16. Ninety-minute spiritual activity. Visit mosaicumc.org.

Job Series: The Lord Has Done This, a Bibleteaching seminar, will be presented at the Friedman Library from noon-1 p.m. on Saturday, May 18. Visit speakerforalloccasions.net.

Women of Worth Women’s Conference will take place Saturday and Sunday, May 18-19, beginning at 8 a.m. on Friday. The event is presented by the Virtue Ministry of Macedonia Baptist Church and will include discussion panels and informational sessions on Domestic Violence, Christian Womanhood, Warriors in Gray, Beauty Tips, Balancing Faith and Family, Zumba Praise and more. A panel discussion for young women ages 16-18, titled, Lord Keep Me. Saturday Conference Speakers include Minister Greta Merritt of Macedonia Grovetown and Pastor Evett Davis of Abundant Life Worship Center. The conference culminates Sunday with worship at 11 a.m. featuring Evangelist Delores Hankerson of Hammond Grove Baptist Church, North 9MAY2013

Augusta. Conference cost is $25 for women and $15 for young women ages 16-18. Call 706-922-6101.

looking for volunteers. Call 706-922-9597 or visit thefamilyy.org.

Sunday activities at the Kroc Center include an adult Bible class at 9:30 a.m., youth Sunday school at 9:45 a.m., and a worship service at 11 a.m. Free. Call 706364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Rape Crisis and Sexual Assault Services is seeking volunteer advocates for Richmond, Burke, Jefferson and McDuffie counties. Advocates answer crisis calls and respond to hospitals in their area within 30 minutes. Call 706-774-2746 or email volunteerrcsas@ uh.org.

Volunteer

Hospice volunteers needed at Alliance Hospice to provide comfort, companionship and emotional support to patients and families, as well as assisting with chores and clerical duties and using other talents to benefit patients. Training provided. Call 706-447-2461, email mwhite@ alliancehospice. com or visit alliancehospice.com.

month. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Story time is held at the Warren County Library in Warrenton at 10:30 a.m. Wednesdays. Call 706-465-2656.

Thursday Nights at the High, a special event at the High Museum of Art in Atlanta, offers half-price tickets from 4-8 p.m. each Thursday. A guided tour is offered

“Silver Linings Playbook,” an unusual rom-com with main characters who both suffer from mental health disorders (Bradley Cooper’s character suffers from bipolar disorder; Jennifer Lawrence turns in an Oscar-winning performance as a sex addict), received eight Academy Award nominations.

Come see what all the fuss is about when it shows Tuesday, May 21, from 6:30-9 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Free. Call 706-8212600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Aiken Regional Medical Centers is looking for volunteers. Call 803-641-5021 or visit aikenregional.com.

The Georgia Regents University Cancer Center is looking for volunteers, especially those who are cancer survivors or caregivers. Adult program for those 18 and older; after-school program open to high-school juniors and seniors who are 17. Applications available at the Children’s Hospital of Georgia. Visit gru.edu/ volunteer or call 706-721-3596.

The Greater Augusta Arts Council offers volunteer opportunities for those interested in volunteering for events like Arts in the Heart, First Friday and special concerts, as well as helping in the GAAC office. Call 706-826-4702 or visit augustaarts.com.

Hospice Care of America’s Augusta office needs administrative and patient care volunteers. No experience necessary; training will be provided. Call Rich Boland at 706-447-2626 or email rboland@ msa-corp.com.

MACH Academy is looking for volunteers to provide tutoring, academic support and mentoring services during fall after-school sessions held MondayThursday from 3:30-6 p.m. Call 706-796-5046, email mparks37@comcast.net or visit machacademy.com.

Miracle League Baseball, held by the Family Y, is

DECLASSIFIED

is held each Thursday at 10:45 a.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov.

Reed Creek Park offers opportunities to volunteers interested in collecting important data each month on the health of a local stream for the state of Georgia.

Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com.

United Hospice of Aiken, which covers Aiken, Edgefield, McCormick, Barnwell and Allendale counties, needs volunteers to visit with patients or work in the office.

Training is provided. Call 803-641-0060 or email kathibault@uhs- pruitt.com.

Elsewhere

Contra Dance will be held Saturday, May 18, from 7:30-10:30 p.m. at the Arsenal Hill Park Building in Columbia at 1800 Lincoln Street. A New Dancer’s workshop will start at 7 p.m., where participants can learn Contra dance basics. Admission is $8, or $5 with a student ID. Call 803-760-5881 or visit contracola.org.

The Georgia Renaissance Festival is held in Fairburn, Ga., just outside Atlanta, 10:30 a.m.-6 p.m., Saturdays and Sundays, plus Memorial Day, through June 2.

General admission $16.95, seniors 60 and over $15.95, kids 6-12 $6.95. Medieval and fantasy costuming, folk and filk music, food, beer, shows, lots of stuff for kids of all ages. There even be pirates and dragons! Call 770-964-8575 or visit garenfest.com.

at 6:30 p.m. Call 404-733-4200 or visit high.org.

Story time and craft is held at the Burke County Library in Waynesboro at 10:30 a.m. Fridays for preschoolers.

Call 706-554-3277 or visit ecgrl.org.

Story time is held at the Midville Branch Library in Midville at 4:30 p.m. Fridays. Call 478-589-7825 or visit ecgrl.org.

Gymnastics Lessons offered at the Family Y of Thomson 130 Center for a combination of age and ability levels. Members, $43 per month; non-members, $63 per month. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Ar t and Music Classes offered at the Family Y of Thomson 130 Center for all ages. Members, $25 per month; non-members, $35 per month. Visit thefamilyy.org.

If you would like to see your organization’s events listed in our calendar, please email Amy Christian at amy@themetrospirit.com. The deadline for each Thursday’s issue is the previous Friday at noon.

Karate is offered at The Family Y of Thomson 130 Center and Family Y of North Jefferson for all skill levels. Members, $43 a month; non-members, $63 a

Have you Aerated your yard?

All Yard Work 35 Years Experience

Mow, Trim, Fertilize, Tree Work, Hauling, etc.

KRIS FISHER '- (YHQW +RVW

Great References and Prices.

FREE ESTIMATES!

706.832.4672

Call for a free quote today!

Andrew Jones 706.833.3060

ALL DECLASSIFIED ADS ARE CASH IN ADVANCE (CREDIT CARD PAYMENT REQUIRED) AND ARE $40 PER WEEK. VISIT METROSPIRIT.COM TO PLACE YOUR AD IN MINUTES.

2YHU \HDUV RI '-LQJ UDGLR H[SHULHQFH 5HIHUHQFHV DYDLODEOH

:HGGLQJV %LUWKGD\V 3DUWLHV $QQLYHUVDULHV (WF

$Q\ *HQUH RI 0XVLF 706.399.4209 | kfish@rocketmail.com

DJKFISH.COM 1.5” X 1.9” (ACTUAL SIZE) $40 PER WEEK AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 27

V24|NO20

And Eleventy Billion More to Go Whatever we’ve been doing for 11 years, it works for us I have been married 11 years.

Let me rephrase that. We have been married for 11 years. If you ask me (and I know you didn’t), that’s awesome.

Strangely, we still like each other.

Our anniversary was last weekend. I was out of town. The Man wasn’t with me.

I played in a tennis tournament in Rome.

Georgia, not Italy. During a couple of my matches, I discussed with my opponents the fact that it was Mother’s Day weekend. We agreed that, although we were away from our children, playing tennis out of town was a great present. The reactions about being away for my anniversary were totally different.

One man said, “You made your husband babysit on his anniversary?” Um, sir, no offense, but I don’t make my husband do anything. We don’t have a dictatorship. We’re partners. Last I checked, it wasn’t just his anniversary, either. Also, and I’ve said this a million times, he isn’t ever babysitting our children.

It’s called parenting.

28 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

A woman, who later told me she’d been married for 20 years, asked me how I broke the news to The Man. When I asked her what news needed to be broken, she told me how her husband would’ve been offended that she wanted to be away on their anniversary.

Honestly, I’m pretty sure my husband was relieved.

No pressure, right?

We don’t do much for anniversaries anyway. Last year, for our tenth, we drank a nice bottle of wine and went out to dinner. We talked about our marriage and how much fun we have together. I’m not inclined to believe that the magnitude of the celebration directly parallels relationship quality.

Similarly, the size of the diamond doesn’t prove anything. I rarely even wear my engagement ring. The Man never wears a wedding band. He has one. It is a sterling silver band. It cost me about $30, and that includes overnight shipping. I think he wore it for about a year. Bleach ruined the silver patina, so that was his excuse. He hasn’t worn it since. A wedding band is a very attractive accessory. It’s not a hill worth dying on, though. We’re pretty happy in spite of the lack of rings.

It’s rough for The Man, because Mother’s Day is very close to our anniversary, and my birthday is 10 days later. For Mother’s Day, I’d like to be completely off-duty. That’s my gift. Anything tangible should be handmade by our children. This year, The Girl gave me a metal washer necklace decorated with nail polish.

I love it. For my birthday, I usually end up getting something I need. This year, that’s a tennis racquet.

I should clarify, just in case he’s reading: I don’t need a vacuum, washing machine, dishwasher or anything else related to cleaning house. Those are household purchases, not gifts.

For our anniversary, we don’t typically do presents.

One year, though, The Man splurged and planned on surprising me. It was the year of our fifth anniversary

and my 30th birthday. On anniversary night, I cooked at home and we drank the bottle of champagne my dad sent us. The Man didn’t say much about the five-year milestone. Mother’s Day passed with barely a mention. Because it was a big year, people started asking if he’d done anything. A friend delivered a monogrammed tray, because she wanted to be sure I opened a present that year. I wasn’t mad, by any means, but I was starting to wonder about the radio silence. It was unusual.

The morning of my birthday, I woke up to a bright, shiny diamond anniversary band. I was shocked and overly excited. Later, as The Man told the story, his friends admitted to being nervous for him. They’d wondered why he hadn’t done anything for our anniversary or made plans for my birthday. As it turns out, he had a plan all along. He knew there was a gift coming, and it was a good gift, so he was good. The only suggestion the guys made was to give the gift on the first of three occasions, rather than the last, 10 days later. Come out of the gates kickin’ and avoid any confusion.

We didn’t do gifts this year. Heck, we weren’t even together. We do a lot of things together, but we don’t to everything together. We love time away from the kids as much as we like adventures with them. Apparently whatever we’re doing is working for us. My dad sent our yearly bottle of bubbly, and I’m sure we’ll go out to dinner at some point. We’re thinking about taking a kidless trip this summer.

Either way, we made it another year. Eleven years ago, on our wedding day, I walked out of the bridal suite and cussed (the s word) when I saw Brice. We hadn’t gotten married yet. It was supposed to be bad luck. If this is the bad luck, I can’t wait to see the good stuff. Cheers!

JENNYWRIGHT lives in Summerville with her husband, who she calls The Man, and two kids, who she affectionately calls The Boy and The Girl. She enjoys taking photos, cooking and playing tennis.

16MAY2013

V24|NO20

Honoring a Legend

VALERIEEMERICK

Blind Willie McTell Blues Festival reaches 20-year mark

The Blind Willie McTell Blues Festival, held annually in Thomson, Georgia, has reached its 20-year mark of celebrating the life and legacy of the legendary blues performer Willie McTell. That is quite a landmark.

The concert, now celebrated each year in May, began in October of 1993 and has been bringing crowds to Thomson ever since.

“It’s our 20th event, almost unheard of for a festival in a small rural Georgia town,” explained Don Powers, the festival organizer. “It’s a tribute to welcoming, friendly volunteers who go out of their way to try and make our guests feel welcome.”

Not only are the volunteers welcoming and friendly, but the festival itself brings in a tremendous amount of talent every year. Past performers include such acts as Rod Piazza, Jimmy Rogers, the Blind Boys of Alabama, Francine Reed, Little Feat, Delbert McClinton, Trombone Shorty and Mavis Staples, to name a few.

This year’s lineup is sure to impress music fans, with performers ranging from local band The Crosstie Walkers to Cajun band The Revelers and more well-known, national acts such as Tab Benoit and headliners Buddy Miller and Jim Lauderdale.

“Buddy Miller is certainly someone we’ve been trying to get here for a while,” said Powers. “He’s been working on some of the most exciting projects developed over the past few years — touring with Emmylou Harris, Shawn Colvin and Patty Griffin, leading the Robert Plant and Alison Krauss Tour, and playing out with Robert Plant’s Band of Joy. Now he and Jim Lauderdale are touring behind a new album and we think it’ll be a very good set on Saturday.”

Powers also had good things to say about the opening band.

“The Revelers, who’ll open this year, are a great young Cajun band who we think are bound to get folks moving.”

It takes a great deal of effort to choose who gets to play the festival, and it is done through a combination of methods.

“The artists each year are chosen pretty carefully, always trying to put together the very best that makes sense for a festival our size,” Powers said. “We pay attention to musicians who are just starting to make a name for themselves. We blend the acts, trying to get the right variety of experience, of blues, folk, roots, jazz… American musical art forms.”

Additionally, it’s not the role of one single person to make those decisions. There is a committee that gives the final go ahead, said Powers. He also said that it usually takes about six months of collaboration to settle on the final lineup.

So why bring all these great acts to Thomson under the name of a blues legend?

“Thomson is the birthplace of Willie McTell, one of greatest country blues players of all time,” said Powers. “He is buried here as well and the original idea for a festival grew out of trying to develop ways to promote Thomson, pushing the idea of a music festival in his birthplace.”

The Blind Willie McTell Blues Festival Festival Site, Thomson Saturday, May 18 Gates, 11 a.m. | music, noon-9 p.m.

Advanced tickets, $25 | gate, $35 | children 12 and under, free blindwillie.com

16MAY2013

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 29

V24|NO20

Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Vikki Ariail, Chad Mac, Holly Reddick and CJ Johnson at the Redneck Olympics at the New Lock & Dam Park.

SIGHTINGS

Joseph Robinson, Trey Scroggins, Cassandra Brokpp and Devon Offutt at the Redneck Olympics at the New Lock & Dam.

Shelby Collins, Julie Allphin, Colie Smith and Betty White at the Redneck Olympics at the New Lock & Dam.

SIGHTINGS

Ron Carr, Amanda Key and Carey Murdock at the A Day in the County at the Augusta Riverfront Marina.

Florida Georgia Line: Tyler Hubbard, Stephanie Ward and Bryan Kelley at the A Day in the County at the Augusta Riverfront Marina.

SIGHTINGS

Brittany, Hadley and Jay Barnes at Fire Station #7 First Thursday Tour.

30 METROSPIRITAUGUSTAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Kelly Janson, singer/songwriter Chris Janson and Aaron Forrester at the A Day in the County at the Augusta Riverfront Marina.

The Lacs: Brian and Nicole King with Maria Yannotti and Clay Sharpe at the A Day in the County at the Augusta Riverfront Marina.

Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Blaine Marshall, Jaycie Ward and Douglas Marshall at the A Day in the County at the Augusta Riverfront Marina.

16MAY2013

V24|NO20

16MAY2013

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 31

V24|NO20

32 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

16MAY2013

V24|NO20

INJURED? 1-855-91-INJURED AugustaAutoAccidents.com 16MAY2013

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 33

V24|NO20

FEATURED

May 16 16Thursday, Live Music

Maude Edenfield Park, North Augusta - Fort Gordon Signal Corps Concert Band Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Live and Local Rose Hill Estate - Preston Weston & Sandra Sky City - Augusta Big Band Aggregate Somewhere In Augusta - Ramblin’ Fevers Tavern at the Bean - Irish Music The Willcox - 4 Cats in the Doghouse Wild Wing - AcostA

North Carolina Songstress Shannon Whitworth, formerly of The Biscuit Burners, brings her reinterpretation of Americana music — described as Mark Knopfler meets Nora Jones — to the Morris Museum of Art on Sunday, May 19. The free concert, part of the Music at the Morris series, begins at 2 p.m. Call 706724-7501 or visit themorris.org.

What’s Tonight?

Bar on Broad - Liddle Ugleez Chevy’s Nite Club - Karaoke Cocktails Lounge - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Fox’s Lair - Trivia, Soup and Suds Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Highlander - Butt Naked Trivia Joe’s Underground - Trivia Night The Loft - Karaoke MAD Studios - Open Mic Poetry and Spoken Word Malibu Jack’s - DJ Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Evans) - Karaoke The Playground - DJ Rana Shannon’s - Karaoke Surreal at Surrey - College and F&B Night Villa Europa - Karaoke Wooden Barrel - ’80s Night Karaoke

May 17 17Friday, Live Music

Augusta Canal Moonlight Music Cruise - Jerrod Gay Country Club - Lucas Hoge Coyote’s - Dave Firmin, Rhes Reeves & the Coyote Band Doubletree - Classic Jazz Fox’s Lair - She N She Joe’s Underground - Mama Says Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Granny’s Gin MAD Studios - Cameras, Guns & Radios, Celia, Grizzy Harris Malibu Jack’s - Tony Williams Blues Express Playoffs Sports Bar & Grille - The Southern Meltdown Band Polo Tavern - JAR Shannon’s - KE-JU Somewhere In Augusta - Storm Branch Band Surrey Tavern - Electric Voodoo’s Going Away Bash Tavern at the Bean - Musicians Hangout Wild Wing - The Unmentionables

What’s Tonight?

Armando’s - Karaoke w/ Rockin Rob Chevy’s - DJ Dougie Club Argos - Friday Night House Party Cocktails Lounge - Grown-Up Fridays with DJ Cork and Bull Pub - Karaoke Eagle’s Nest - Free Salsa Lessons; Latin Dance Party Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Iron Horse Bar & Grill - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke with Ryan Moseley Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke with Jeff Barnes Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Three J’s Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke Palmetto Tavern - DJ Tim The Playground - DJ Rana Rebeck’s Hideaway - Open Mic 34 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Roadrunner Cafe - Karaoke with Steve Chappel Soul Bar - Pop Life Wooden Barrel - Karaoke Contest

May 18 18Saturday, Live Music

100 Laurens - Celia Gary The Acoustic Coffeehouse - Open Acoustic Jam Session with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Country Club - Bill Gentry Coyotes - Departure (Journey Tribute) Joe’s Underground - John Berret’s LaRoxes Malibu Jack’s - KE-JU P.I. Bar and Grill - Not Gaddy Jazz with Pam Bowman Polo Tavern - Jim Fisher Band Somewhere in Augusta - John Kolbeck Wild Wing - Kenny George Band

What’s Tonight?

Chevy’s - DJ Dougie Club Argos - Saturday Night Dance Party and Show Cocktails Lounge - Latin Night Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Loft - DJ Richie Rich Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Karaoke with Danny Haywood Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke The Playground - DJ Rana Robbie’s - Saturday Night Dance Party Soul Bar - DJ K-Flo$$y Tavern at the Bean - Karaoke Wooden Barrel - Kamikaze Karaoke

May 19 19Sunday, Live Music

Candlelight Jazz - JAMP Masters, Afro Cuban Quartet 5 O’Clock Bistro - Jacob and Phillip Cotton Patch - Keith Gregory (brunch) Malibu Jack’s - Playback The Band w/ Tutu Dy’Vine Morris Museum of Art - Music at the Morris w/ Shannon Whitworth Patridge Inn - Sunday Evening Jazz w/ the Not Gaddy Jazz Trio Wild Wing - AcostA The Willcox - Jon Vaughn, brunch; Preston & Weston, night

What’s Tonight?

Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke, Salsa Dancing Polo Tavern - Bingo Night Shannon’s - Karaoke with Peggy Gardner

20

Monday, May 20 Live Music

Hopelands Gardens (Aiken) - Summer Concert Series w/ Savannah River Winds Shannon’s - Open Mic Night

What’s Tonight?

Applebee’s (Evans) - Trivia Chevy’s - Trivia Club Argos - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Poker Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Trivia The Playground - DJ Rana Robolli’s - Trivia with Mike Thomas Somewhere in Augusta - Poker Wild Wing - Trivia

21

Tuesday, May 21 Live Music

Appleby Concert Series - Savannah River Bluegrass The Highlander - Open Mic Night Shannon’s - Karaoke Contest The Willcox - Piano jazz

What’s Tonight?

Chevy’s Nite Club - Shag Night w/ Free Lessons Club Argos - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Dart League Joe’s Underground - Poker Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane Limelight Cafe - Bottom’s Up Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - Poker Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Trivia Mi Rancho - Cornhole Carolina Meeting The Playground - Truly Twisted Trivia with Big Troy Polo Tavern - Karaoke Shannon’s - Karaoke with Mike Johnson Somewhere In Augusta - Big Prize Trivia Surrey Tavern - Tubeday Tuesday Movie Night

May 22 22Wednesday, Live Music Joe’s Underground - Von Holmes Malibu Jack’s - Marilyn Adcock

What’s Tonight?

Armando’s - Karaoke w/ Rockin Rob Chevy’s - Karaoke Cocktails Lounge - Augusta’s Got Talent Cotton Patch - Trivia and Tunes Hotel Aiken - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane The Loft - Karaoke Midtown Lounge - Karaoke w/ Charles O’Byrne Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke The Playground - Krazy Karaoke with Big Troy Polo Tavern - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Somewhere in Augusta - The Comedy Zone w/ Tim Kidd and Jamie Morgan Surrey Tavern - Trivia with Christian and Mickey

Upcoming

Derelict String Band w/ Grizzly Harris - Sky City May 23 John Kolbeck - Somewhere In Augusta May 23 Jim Fisher - 100 Laurens May 24 Gwen Hughes - Augusta Canal Moonlight Music Cruise May 24 Palmetto Groove Band - Chevy’s Nite Club May 24 Anthony Orio - Country Club May 24 TX Clergy - Joe’s Underground May 24 Jimbo Mathus & The Tri-State Coalition - Sky City May 24 Storm Branch Band - Somewhere In Augusta May 24 Artist Showcase w/ F.O.C.U.S - Tavern at the Bean May 24 Soul Demension - Surrey Tavern May 24-25 Larry Frick - Country Club May 25 Orange Constant - Joe’s Underground May 25 The Hollerers - Polo Tavern May 25 Orange Twin Family Band, Darnell Boys, The Shoal Creek Stranglers - Sky City May 25 The Henry’s - 5 O’Clock Bistro May 26 Down, Honky, Mount Carmel - Sky City May 27 Aaron Lewis - Country Club May 31 AcostA - Stillwater Taproom May 31 Acid Wash 80’s Band - Surrey Tavern May 31 The Welfare Liners - Stillwater Taproom June 8 16MAY2013

V24|NO20

Best of Augusta

Can you guess who tops the list of favorite shows?

After debating on it for the last month or so, I have decided to leave Augusta for the Sunshine State. You know, the bath salt capital of the world, Florida! That means I only have two weeks left writing for the Metro Spirit. For the last two I figured I would write about some of the best music experiences that I have had in Augusta. Today I’m going to countdown my favorite concerts that I’ve seen in this city. Surprising to some, there have been a lot. Most of the shows gave some local bands the opportunity to shine. Bands like the Edison Project and Shotgun Opera come to mind.

So let’s get to the shows. Here are my top five shows that I have seen in Augusta.

Number 5 has to go to Avenged Sevenfold. I’m not even a big fan of Avenged Sevenfold, but when I stepped into the James Brown Arena and saw a 50-foot wide skull with bat wings as the backdrop of the stage, I knew this was going to be fun.

Little did I know that when Avenged hit the stage, the skull would shoot fire out of its eyes and wings. We stood a good 100 feet away from the stage and you could feel the heat from the flames. I give the music a 6 on a scale of 1 to 10, but I give a 10 on production.

Number 4 on my list goes to The Deftones. This is the only show that I’ve seen at the Riverwalk Amphitheatre in my time in Augusta. The Deftones performed for an almost sold out crowd, which is few and far between. With over a 100 lights illuminating from the stage, it was a cool thing to watch on the river, not to mention that the band was awesome. Live music from the Deftones trumps the CD by 100 percent.

Number 3 on the list goes to a band that is now one of my favorites: Ponderosa. I have been lucky enough to catch Ponderosa’s live show twice at Sky City. Sometimes it’s best to just take someone’s advice and go check out a new band. This advice came from Coco Rubio. Coco sent me a video of the Atlanta-based band and said it would be one of the best live shows I would see. He was right. The combination of vocals from Kalen Nash and J.T. Hall will blow you away. This latest album, “Pool Party,” gets a spin on my record player at least once a week. Ponderosa will always be one of the bands I push hard to get some love by radio.

Number 2 on the list is from one of the most recent shows that I wrote about a couple weeks ago: Vintage Trouble. A band that has spent years touring with the Who made an appearance at Sky City and left one of the most memorable performances I have ever seen. Vintage Trouble has four of the most talented, charismatic musicians in recent memory. There is an art to making love to a microphone and lead singer Ty Taylor dominates that art without any effort.

Number 1 on my list of favorite shows should come as no surprise because I literally bring them up at least once every month. Of course, I’m referring to Foxy Shazam at Sky City. This is the most fun I have ever had at a concert. There are certain bands that know that a concert is a performance, and that’s all Foxy Shazam thinks about when they are on stage. Exhibit A: eating a handful of lit cigarettes. I mean, who does that? The lead singer of Foxy Shazam, Eric Sean Nally, does. Exhibit B: running and jumping on the lead guitarist’s shoulders while he’s performing his guitar solo, then proceeding to dry hump his neck for the next three minutes. And finally, exhibit C: the keyboardist crowd surfing, with his keyboard, while doing a keyboard solo. With an insane frontman, a crazy man on the trumpet, an insane keyboard player and singing about big black asses, Foxy Shazam tops my list.

Augusta has been lucky to have some great shows at clubs. Word of advice: take a chance and see a band you have never heard of. I bet it will be one of the best shows.

What bands are coming to Augusta? Where are you playing?

Anyone want to come visit me at the beach? Email me, matt@ themetrospirit.com.

MATTSTONE can be heard weekdays from 2-6 p.m. on 95 Rock.

16MAY2013

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 35

EIGHT “The Great Gatsby”

BOX TOPS

No surprises here... but can Iron Man hold off Kirk, Spock and company? We predict a close race.

RANK

TITLE

WEEKEND GROSS

TOTAL GROSS

WEEK #

LAST WEEK

1

IRON MAN 3

$72,525,615

$284,946,699

2

1

2

THE GREAT GATSBY

$50,087,184

$50,087,184

1

-

3

PAIN AND GAIN

$5,001,029

$41,609,229

3

2

4

PEEPLES

$4,611,534

$4,611,534

1

-

5

42

$4,588,209

$84,670,088

5

3

SAMEIFLING

Luhrmann once again chooses style over substance This summer I read “The Great Gatsby” by Baz Luhrmann. It is an excellent book full of symbolism and parties. One of the main symbols in the book is green lights. Green is the color of hope and the green light on the dock outside of Daisy’s house shows the reader how hopeful Jay Gatsby is that he and she will get together again.

Gatsby resembles a tan Leonardo DiCaprio and lives in a house so big it looks like it eats barns between meals. He bought the house just so he could throw giant parties in the hopes that Daisy might wander into one and be impressed with his shirts.

We don’t know why Daisy is worth such obsession other than that she is richer than the ocean is wet and she looks like Carey Mulligan with blond hair. Gatsby and Daisy used to date but he had to go to war and she married a very rich man named Tom Buchanan because money talks. Tom plays polo and the field.

The best scene in the book comes when he takes the narrator, who looks like Spider-Man, to a small apartment in New York City that turns into a drunken mess for the narrator, Nick. It was only the second time he ever got drunk and it was with flappers, who were like hipsters who actually enjoyed dancing when music came on.

They dance a lot because this book has an excellent soundtrack. Jay-Z and Beyonce and Florence + The Machine and Jack White all add to a sense of decadence during the roaring ’20s. Gatsby and Nick argue about whether you can repeat the past but, in any case, you can go back to the future with music like this.

That was another terrific book, by the way.

They say music is the only guilt-free intoxicant but usually in “The Great Gatsby” it is combined with others such as champagne and gin and whisky and cigars and shimmy-dancers. It is all too much for Nick in the end, which is why he is in a mental hospital in the beginning, talking to a psychiatrist who has diagnosed him as depressed and “morbidly alcoholic.” All of that partying usually leads to a hangover. For the United States of America, that was the Dust Bowl.

There were parts of the story that were not as effective. For one it took 143 minutes to get through it, which is a lot, especially when you have to read it in one sitting because your book report is due the next day. The characters were mostly three-dimensional but so was a lot of other stuff — everything was threedimensional, and you feel after a while like this is just a gimmick.

Luhrmann’s style is very flashy, with lots of colors and motion, and opulent settings and costumes.

In a book where style always threatens to overwhelm substance, the choice to go with all this threedimensionality risks turning it into a cartoon. Maybe Luhrmann wanted it that way, but it makes the reader wonder whether the publisher just wanted to charge more for each copy.

In conclusion, I would recommend “The Great Gatsby” to anyone who wants to learn about New York City high society in the ’20s and there’s a pretty good love story there as well. This has been a classic book for many years and many men in particular enjoy it. Maybe it is because there is a little bit of Gatsby in anyone who tried very hard to succeed just to impress a woman who winds up with the polo player after all.

Baz Luhrmann proves that you cannot repeat the past but you can sure go broke trying.

36 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

SCI-FI

“Star Trek Into Darkness,” rated PG-13, starring Benedict Cumberbatch, Chris Pine, Zoe Saldana, Zachary Quinto. Non-Trekkers haven’t been this excited about a sequel since… well, can’t remember really. Even if you’re not into the whole Star Trek thing, this movie has a lot to recommend it. Two things, really: director J.J. Abrams and Cumberbatch, better known as BBC’s Sherlock Holmes, in a role that may or may not be Khan. If he does play the legendary Ricardo Montalban role, we must warn Chris Pine: Don’t even try to live up to the best bit of hamming it up that William Shatner ever indulged in.

You’ll just look foolish.

MAY 17

THE

V24|NO20

ACTION

“Erased,” rated R, starring Aaron Eckhart, Olga Kurylenko. Eckhart plays an ex-CIA agent who doesn’t get along with his daughter. He has to pair up with her, however, when they’re both targeted for assassination. Her name on a hit list for something you did? Way to go, Dad. 16MAY2013

RECYCLE SATURDAY WITH THE CITY OF AUGUSTA SCRAP TIRES AND HOME ELECTRONICS MAY 18TH 9 AM TO 2 PM At Julian Smith Casino Lot

WWW.AUGUSTAGA.GOV/GREEN

LINE

I thought I was watching an NBA playoff game the other night and apparently a tattoo show erupted - YIKES! At least we now know the answer to this question: What do NBA players spend their exorbitant and outrageous contract$ on? Answer: Tattoos!

So if the races had been reversed on the vicious river walk attack would we have the whole nation descending upon Augusta ?

Robbery is just using some intimidation and force to get what you want not beat two people to death.

WHINELINE@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM

Have something you want to get off your chest? Send your whines to whineline@themetrospirit. com. If you do so by noon on Friday, you might just see it in the next Thursdayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s issue. Oh, and whines may be edited for content but will pretty much be printed exactly as you type them.

It seems yet again, after the crime streak downtown, that Augusta is once again surprised to find that it is, indeed, Augusta, and not some pleasant 1950â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s perfect suburb. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not sure why there is utter shock every time anyone does anything criminal around here. What Kool Aid are yaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll drinking? Augusta constantly is shocked to find that it isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Savannah, it isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Charleston, it isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Athens, and it most certainly isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t a wealthy Atlanta suburb, although we try to be once per year. Canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t we just find our own identity instead of dressing up for a week after Easter each year and pretending that is what this city is?

Have you ever seen that mid-60â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s television show on MeTV called Dragnet? Sgt. Joe Friday (Jack Webb) and Officer Bill Gannon (Harry Morgan) narrate their daily crime fighting in minute by minute minutia detail. On Facebook, day one, somebody posts a picture of their dog. The next day - another picture of their same dog. The third day - yet another picture of their dog. Really? Seriously? I know you Facebook addicts are upset with me because of what I dispense - â&#x20AC;&#x153;Just the facts maâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;am, just the facts.â&#x20AC;?

I see the George W. Bush Presidential Library has opened its doors to the public, so let the attempt at historical whitewash begin. As the Katrina section touts how Dubya â&#x20AC;&#x153;brought orderâ&#x20AC;? back to New Orleans in the aftermath of the horrific storm, not a mention is made of the United States citizens who simply lay down and died for want of one bottle of water. With both local and state level government having failed miserably in preparation for the storm, as well as the Want to help curb the chaos and crime downtown that seems to aftermath, the Bush administration trumped them both, as Dan always happen late at night? Then close the bars at midnight. Will Bartlett and other top Bush aides had to actually cobble together the commissioners have the courage to do it? Not likely. Because a DVD of news clips and send it to ole Dubya down in Crawford the nightclub owners own just enough of the commissioners to keep because he was completely oblivious to the magnitude of storm it from happening and its destruction, as well as the Americans citizens who were still perilously clinging to life.

People, I am not filthy rich as itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pointed out that my clothes are over 15 years old at least. So donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t tell me I have it better off than you because your utility bills are higher, you are bigger and have to eat more, etc. And worse yet, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t tell me I should pool my monies with you. Help out yourself by yourself.

up THUMBS

WHINE

V24|NO20

We may all claim to love Charles Ramsey, but do we love him as much as the guy who got the heroâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s face tattooed on his legâ&#x20AC;Ś bigger and towering over his Chuck Norris tat? Didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t think so.

down

Seth Meyers and Bill Hader are leaving Saturday Night Live? Say it ainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t so!

Earl â&#x20AC;&#x153;Bubbaâ&#x20AC;? Maddox 09/27/1957- 03/17/2013 $XJXVWD *$ v

Please join us for a memorial to Earl on May 22 at the Soul Bar in Augusta from 7-10 p.m. Earl was a drummer for many bands in the Atlanta redneck underground scene, and this yearsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Bubbapalooza festival at the Star Bar will honor his memory. While playing with Slim Chance and the Convicts he was discovered by Cynthia Stillwell who cast KLP LQ m0DPD )ORUDlV )DPLO\n v(DUO acted in over 50 movies, commercials, DQG YLGHRV v $ WDONLQJ HQF\FORSHGLD RI movie and music trivia, Earl loved being an actor as much as he loved being a drummer. Living in Augusta, Columbia, Athens, Atlanta, Memphis, and LA, Earl kept returning to New Orleans even after EHLQJ GLVSODFHG E\ .DWULQD v :KLOH ILOPLQJ â&#x20AC;&#x153;Love Story for Bobby Longâ&#x20AC;? he met Grayson Capps, played with his band the Stumpknockers, and took a memorable WULS WR (XURSH ZLWK WKH EDQG v %HFN\ Hale, his agent kept him busy and he was so excited to be cast in a role, written for him, in Tarantinoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;Django 8QFKDLQHG nv7UDJLFDOO\ UHFWDO FDQFHU NHSW him from performing that role and XOWLPDWHO\ HQGHG KLV OLIH v +LV PRWKHU Marian, is grateful to his friends in New Orleans and Atlanta that held benefit concerts for him, for all the medical care he received in New Orleans and Augusta, and for all the friends that cared for, visited, called, and thought about him during his illness. The blues band, Bradleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Circus, surprised him by flying in from Europe just to say JRRGE\H v$ ZKLUOLQJ GHUYLVK ZKR OLYHG his life with abandon, it is hard to UHDOL]H KH LV JRQH v (DUO LV VXUYLYHG E\ his mother, Marian Hardwick, nephew, 7\OHU 0DGGR[ DQG QXPHURXV FRXVLQV v Earl always treated his many friends as family and they will dearly miss him and tales of his adventures.

38 METROSPIRITAUGUSTAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

16MAY2013