Metro Spirit 05.20.2004 by Metro Spirit

May 20-26 Vol. 15 No. 42

Nuwaubians Still Here By Brian Neill

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METRO SPIRIT - MAY 20, 2004 2

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Twenty Pair of Braves/Red Sox tickets will be given away during the game. See Augusta Major League Alumni Tim Wakefield, Bronson Arroyo, and Kevin Youkilis take on the Braves in Altanta!

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COOKIN’ FOR KIDS Join us for the 15th annual Cookin’ for Kids cook-off. This year, the event will be held at Daniel Field Airport in the heart of Augusta.

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138 Sand Bar Ferry Rd. “In Olde Town” Children’s Activities and much more! Come out and join the fun while supporting The Shelter and Child Advocacy Center for Abused Children!

May 22nd at Daniel Field Airport — 10:00 am - 5:00 pm —

The popular local band, The Toasters, will be performing — plus Okeefenokee Joe and his live animals, Georgia Southern’s Reptiles and Fort Discovery will be there for kids of all ages. Get your grills and your belly ready! Here comes the best Cookin’ for Kids ever! All proceeds benefit Child Enrichment, Inc., The Shelter and Child Advocacy Center for Abused Children. Our mission is “saving the physical and emotional lives of abused children each day of the year by providing counseling, a voice in the legal system and a safe, temporary place they can call home.”

Large Game Small Game Fish • BBQ Prize-winning teams will receive a monetary reward and a trophy.

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METRO SPIRIT - MAY 20, 2004

The Cooking Teams that will be competing are the mainstay of this event. These teams give their time, cooking knowledge and hearts to support the Shelter and Child Advocacy Center.

Cooking Teams Will Be Competing in the Categories of:

Georgia Golf Hall of Fame’s

Botanical Gardens present

“Roots of Gardening” Series Educational Sessions will feature local experts, including Jenny Addie, Milledge and Joanne Peterson, and Master Gardeners Jim Blount and Bill Adams. Separate hands-on, fun activities will be available for children during these sessions.

Donation: $3.00 per person

Garden Members Attend Free! (Donation includes discount admission to the Gardens, session handouts and supplies)

Advance Reservations Requested. Contact (706) 724-4443 or bjohnson@gghf.org

Thur., May 20; 6:30-7:30 pm- Lawns: Aeration, seeding/overseeding, de-thatching, fertilizer, lime, what to plant now. Thur., June 17; 6:30-7:30pm- Maintenance: Watering & fertilizing, mulching, what to plant now. Thur., July 15; 6:30-7:30pm- Pests: Pest control, plant diseases, problems. Thur., August 19; 6:30-7:30pm - Grooming: Pruning, diving perennials, collecting seeds, dead-heading, what to plant now. Thur., September 16; 6:30-7:30pm - More Maintenance: Composting, raking leaves, harvesting, what to plant now. Thur., October 21; 6:30-7:30pm - Preparing for Winter: Planting trees/shrubs/bulbs, transplanting, mulch, what to plant now.

ADVERTISING SALES Looking for experienced sales people to call on local businesses and sell advertising. College degree or some college preferred. • ONE salesperson needed for Metro Spirit • ONE salesperson needed for SASS Magazine. Please forward resume to:

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METRO SPIRIT - MAY 20, 2004

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Contents

METRO SPIRIT ON THE COVER 16

Nuwaubians Still Here, Despite Jailed Leader

MAY 20-26 • FREE WEEKLY • METROSPIRIT.COM

By Brian Neill

Cover Design: Ange Hagler Cover Photos: The Augusta Chronicle

OPINION 6 Whine Line 6 This Modern World 6 Words 8 Thumbs Up/Down 8 Letter to the Editor 10 Insider

CINEMA 30 Flix 33 Brad Pitt’s Impending Mid-Life Crisis 33 Reel Time

BITE 20 Wild Game Cookin’ for a Cause 21 In the Mix ARTS 22 Spoleto Festival USA Begins May 29 in Charleston

EDITOR & PUBLISHER David Vantrease ASSISTANT TO THE PUBLISHER Dee Ramp ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Rhonda Jones ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT ASSISTANT Andy Stokes STAFF WRITERS Stacey Eidson, Brian Neill

MUSIC 34 Blind Willie Blues Festival 35 Ball Keeps Strong Blues Foothold 36 Summer Series Equals Great Area Music 37 Sightings 38 CD Reviews 39 Music Minis 39 Music by Turner 40 After Dark

INSIDER 12 Commission 13 Metro Beat 14 Commission

EVENTS 25 Calendar

STUFF 42 News of the Weird 43 Brezsny’s Free Will Astrology 43 New York Times Crossword Puzzle 44 Amy Alkon: Advice Goddess 45 Datemaker 47 Classifieds

ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Joe White ADVERTISING SALES SUPPORT Riali Blackstock PRODUCTION MANAGER Joe Smith GRAPHIC ARTISTS Ange Hagler, Natalie Holle, Shawn Sutherland

ACCOUNTING MANANGER/CLASSIFIEDS Sharon King SENIOR MUSIC CONTRIBUTOR Ed Turner CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Amy Alkon, Rob Brezsny, Rachel Deahl, David Elliott, Amy Fennell Christian CARTOONISTS Tom Tomorrow

Metro Spirit is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks of the year. Editorial coverage includes arts, local issues, news, entertainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publishers. Visit us at www.metrospirit.com. Copyright © Metro Spirit, Inc. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. Phone: (706) 738-1142 Fax: (706) 733-6663 E-mail: spirit@metrospirit.com Letters to the Editor: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, Ga. 30914-3809

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 20, 2004

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OPINION

Whine Line

o they behead Nick Berg on video. These are the “people” that Liberals would have U.S. treat humanely! This is just one blatant act, which our Iraqi enemy has chosen for U.S. to see. Now maybe people will understand why that small percentage of our troops acted as they did. God only knows the other unreported atrocities that our troops have witnessed performed on U.S. What happened to the movement to cut the trees back or down along Broad Street?

All you guys calling the Whine Line wondering where all the good girls in Augusta are need to open your eyes and look around Augusta’s night club scene. There is no other city in the U.S.A. with more recently divorced women. They are easy to spot — insanely tanning-bed brown; thin, Marlboro Light figure; ‘99 Camaro in the parking lot. At least three friends in accompaniment, one of which keeps whooping. These are girls for you. You really want to humiliate the prisoners in Iraq? Ship the port-o-lets from the Garden City Music Festival over there. Yesterday I viewed the unedited footage of Nick Berg being decapitated by his coldhearted killers. Watching it sickened me and also angered me about what is “really” a crime against humanity. The footage affected me in the sense that I still feel the same about the Iraqi prisoner situation (that is, it is comparable in severity to a fraternity initiation ritual), but I also do think the footage has cemented my resolve about the vicious killers and enemies of liberty we are dealing with overseas, as well as the American-born enemies that we are facing here at home (Ted Kennedy, Tom Daschle, Nancy Pelosi and the Democratic Party). The gloves are off. Wake up people. Rumsfeld should resign. Someone in this administration has to take responsibility for something — Bush certainly never will. But, hey, I hope he really doesn’t because every time this freak opens his mouth he loses more votes. So go ahead,

Shrub, keep him on. Wake up people. Iraq had nothing to do with Iraq. Bush wanted to attack Iraq before 9/11. It’s about oil, people, and big business. Whenever I visit Savannah, or even Athens, I am always appalled to find that they have twice as many shopping and restaurant selections as we do in Augusta! It is absolutely ridiculous that Augusta is supposed to be the second largest city in Georgia, and Savannah literally has twice as much or more to do than Augusta does! Every time we visit Savannah, they are always adding something new. Very soon, Savannah will be known as the second largest city in Georgia instead of Augusta! Talking about timely information! Teacher appreciation days were May 3-7 and the Columbia County Newsletter (brag sheet?) shows up on May11. It just goes to show what good administration we are getting from the superintendent. This is an answer to the idiot who said it made him sick to hear an apology from the president. First of all, would this same person be calling the obvious abuse “alleged” if the same pictures were of our sons or daughters or family members? I think not. Secondly, these men were being detained — that doesn’t make them guilty of anything. Because of the inhumane action of these few, many, many more innocent lives will be taken. And, finally, the only smart thing this person said is that he wouldn’t vote for Bush. Good! My coworkers and I, about 15 of us, frequent two local gas stations near our office. In an effort to send a message about the recent high gas prices, we have stopped buying their over-priced candy and sodas. We think they have more of a say then they realize. We urge the rest of the CSRA to do the same, and send a message about the insane gas prices. We have to buy the gas, but not anything else. Going to the grocery store is cheaper anyway. Isn’t it hilarious that the Democrats now think the only way they can win is to have a

Words “This man (John Kerry) wants to be the leader of the free world. Free for how long? This man is so out of touch with the average American it would be comical if it were not so dangerous.” — U.S. Sen. Zell Miller, quoted in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, speaking to a Bush-Cheney organizational meeting at the Georgia Republican Convention in Columbus, Ga. Republican vice-presidential candidate on their ticket? How about just let McCain run for president and John Kerry can be his veep? I guess producing diapers, tires, detergent, golf carts, cloth, paper, etc., is comparable to weapons of such mass destruction capabilities. Last time I checked, Plutonium at SRS was one of the most toxic and hazardous substances known to the human race. If gas prices get any higher, can I get some Plutonium to power my car? A power source with a usable half-life of 80 to 24,000 plus years sounds like reasonable mileage, and having such a power source means no more power outages at my house during the next ice storm. The price shouldn’t be any more than the set of tires and golf clubs I just bought. It is my understanding that Protestants and Catholics (Jewish people, too, to a certain extent) use the same Old and New Testament to establish the guidelines of their religion and faith. Since the Catholic Church has determined that it is the correct thing to condemn those who claim to be Catholic but do not practice it in their political lives, will the others follow suit and ask their members or believers to do the same or face the consequences as the Catholic Church has? Do some of these people parade outside of

Planned Parenthood and then vote for abortionist party members? Do you condemn homosexuality and then vote for a candidate who supports gay marriage? Do you wear a bracelet that says “WWJD” then vote against prayer in school? Look around. We claim to be a nation of Christians, but do we vote that way? It’s a doggy dog world! Who let the dogs out! Dog on it! The administration says the economy is getting better. If it gets any better I’ll have to go on the third-world diet. I’ll have to start eating insects. Anybody got a recipe for grilled grubs? Now that we have provided pleasant canal boats for excursions down the canal, let’s transform the Lake Olmstead Park into a beautiful garden and park for the people of Augusta. Let’s have a canoe and rowboat concession and new dock. Why not have band concerts at the bandstand on Sunday afternoons? A food concession should also be available. This area can be a wonderful facility picnic area and lovely park. Chicago has Lincoln Park with a beautiful lagoon and boats, New York and Boston have similar facilities. This only requires maintenance and security and imagination.

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 20, 2004

continued on page 8

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Thumbs Up Monday • 7:30 Channel Confessions of A Conservative College Professor Mike Adams discusses his book,

WELCOME TO THE IVORY TOWER OF BABEL

The Aiken County Council’s vote this week to allocate $9.2 million for a hydrogen research lab at the Savannah River Site was a bold, forward-looking step. According to an article in The Augusta Chronicle, the 59,000-square-foot facility would explore the development of hydrogen fuels to power automobiles and

even provide electricity to street lights. Although hydrogen hasn’t yet been given panacea status (there are bugs to be worked out) it is at the forefront of the nation’s agenda, the president having allocated nearly $2 billion to its research. Nice to see some county governments looking ahead.

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A weekend editorial in the Augusta Chronicle aptly illustrates the disconnect between economics-driven nuclear proponents and sane-thinking stewards of the environment. The editorial, headlined "Rescuing SRS Cleanup," addressed the Department of Energy's attempts to sidestep a federal judge's ruling preventing it from leaving behind countless gallons of highly radioactive waste by reclassifying it as low-level. It plans to do this with the help of U.S. Sen. Lindsey Graham, a nuclear

booster, who attached a provision to a defense bill that would allow the waste reclassification. Essentially, SRS and DOE are trying to cut corners. Yet this is lauded as a good thing. The editorial even states: "The [federal court] ruling made sense, but it wreaked havoc with the accelerated cleanup plan." Well, duh. Kind of like saying that when the police searched the trunk of the automobile, it interfered with the Mafia's plan to dispose of the body.

continued from page 6 Our great Governor Perdue is going to sign a law allowing 14 precent beer in Georgia. A bottle of 14 percent beer is almost twice as strong as a gin and tonic at a bar! Watch the increase in DUIs rise rapidly. This insane legislation will only benefit the beer industry, the state’s undertakers and Alcoholics Anonymous. Where is the protest from Mothers Against Drunk Driving? In South Carolina they will soon do away with the mini bottle law which will lessen the strength of bar drinks, and we in Georgia will be putting hundreds more inebriated drivers on the road. Write your legislators, call the Governor and stop this insanity.

OPINION

George Kolb: When you came here, the city was in sound financial condition. Now that you’re leaving, it’s in shambles and on the verge of a tax increase to “cover” your team’s mess-ups! I’m quite confident our commissioners can and will be better fiscal managers without you and your team’s influence. Good-bye!

Call our Whine Line at 510-2051 and leave your comments. We won’t use your name. Fax your whines by dialing (706) 733-6663 or e-mail your whines to whine@metrospirit.com.

Letter

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 20, 2004

Inspector Responds to Graffiti Story

ear Editor:

In response to your article in the May 6 issue of the Metro Spirit about MSG and GUS’ artwork on the buildings downtown (“Graffiti Duo’s Work Amuses — and Annoys”), this is not artwork at all and is costing property owners hundreds of dollars. This, without question, is called vandalism, defacing private property, which is a criminal offense. This so-called artwork

has also cost the city of Augusta hundreds of dollars in having to inspect and send letters to the property owners to remove the graffiti. Please be advised that when we catch who is responsible, they will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Sincerely, Larry E. Lariscy III, senior inspector Augusta License and Inspection Department

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OPINION

Insider

Republicans at Odds Over Judicial Election?

he race for the Superior Court judicial seat being vacated by Judge Albert Pickett is supposed to be nonpartisan. Candidates do not have to run as a representative of any political party. Most voters who cast a vote in this election will not know the party affiliation, if any, of the candidates and most voters who do know will be more concerned with the qualifications of the candidates than their Republican (GOP) or Democratic leanings. However, for some local Republican county party chairpersons, the political party distinction is apparently very important. Their efforts to turn this race into a more partisan affair has the potential to backfire. As The Insider went to press last week, an effort was underway to get the GOP county party heads from Richmond, Columbia and Burke counties together in a collective effort to determine which of the three candidates running for the job is more in line with basic Republican philosophy. Dave Barbee (Richmond), Lee Muns (Columbia) and Amanda Stone (Burke) have sent letters to the candidates requesting an interview, along with a questionaire containing 16 questions they consider pertinent in the process of endorsing one of the three. Richmond County Solicitor Sheryl Jolly, attorney Sherry Barnes and attorney Walter Metts are vying for the judgeship. Jolly is a Democrat, has run for election as a Democrat and has supported many fellow Democrats in their elections. Neither Barnes nor Metts has any known political party affiliation, nor have they been involved in local party politics. Clearly, the GOP leaders are taking aim at Jolly, with the apparent intention of endorsing one of the other two candidates. This would be a departure from past policy of not endorsing candidates in nonpartisan races and several Republicans are upset about it.

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The problem is that a host of card-carrying Republicans intend to support Jolly regardless of what these three party big-wigs have to say about it. They think she is the best person for the Dave Barbee job. Jolly has been accessible to Republicans as well as Democrats in her role as solicitor, and she has made many GOP friends. Several active Republicans are not the least bit happy that the party chairpersons have taken it upon themselves to take this action. In particular, several Richmond County Republicans are upset with Barbee over his attitude toward Jolly. Apparently, Barbee is leading the march to defeat Jolly and many of his fellow Republicans don’t like it. There are even whispers now that it is time for Barbee to go as Richmond County party chairman. As The Insider goes to press, there is an effort underway to persuade Barbee and the others to call off the interviews and subsequent endorsement process. Whether that happens or not remains to be seen. Regardless, Barbee has created a furor among many Republicans and they won’t soon forget what they consider a misguided effort to work against Jolly. The views expressed in this column are the views of The Insider and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

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METRO SPIRIT - MAY 20, 2004

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METRO BEAT

Commission

Investigating the City’s Fleet Management

By Stacey Eidson

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 20, 2004

he secrecy surrounding a potentially criminal investigation of the city’s fleet management department continues, despite a call from Augusta Commissioner Marion Williams to make the matter public. In late March, Williams asked the city’s internal auditor, the local accounting firm Baird & Co., to provide the commission’s finance committee with a status report of its findings relating to the city’s former fleet management contracts. J.T. Cosnahan, a partner in Baird & Co., informed the finance committee that he could not provide it with a status report because his findings were incomplete. “We have been working diligently with the investigators at the sheriff’s department,” Cosnahan told commissioners on March 29. “And at this time we are waiting for documentation from the sheriff’s department.” City Attorney Steve Shepard also warned Williams that the commission should be extremely careful when discussing the details of the investigation. “There are matters here that are not necessarily what we call civil actions: There may be criminal actions,” Shepard said in March. Almost two months later, Williams told his colleagues during the May 18 commission meeting that it was time for city officials to end all the speculation and fill in the blanks pertaining to the city’s investigation. “Here we are with a situation that has been going on for months now,” Williams said. “And I don’t mean two or three months. It’s been at least four, maybe five months now that we’ve been dealing with this. So, I’m a little leery about what has taken place. “All we know is what the street talk is: That there was a fraudulent situation going on. I think it’s time for somebody to say something and be honest about it.” While Cosnahan said he would like to provide the city with an updated report on the investigation, he acknowledged he had very little to report. “The last time I met with you all and brought you up to date on this matter, I

“I think we are waiting on something to die down, but it is not going to die down. I want to know what happened.” — Augusta Commissioner Marion Williams

told you we were requesting documentation to further our investigation that had to come through the sheriff’s department,” Cosnahan said. “It was not something we could go out and get.” Cosnahan said he has been in touch with the sheriff’s department on a weekly basis and they are waiting for the documents to be sent from Philadelphia. “I’ve been told it will be two to three weeks before we get the documentation,” Cosnahan said. “So, we are still really at first base waiting on these documents and we can’t go any further until we get them.” Williams, visibly frustrated, couldn’t believe the investigation was taking so long. “There are some folks who have been in jail, that have gotten out of jail, and probably gone back to jail for committing crimes such as this one right here in the city of Augusta,” Williams said. “I find that kind of hard to swallow, I guess is a nice way of putting it.” The reason Williams is so anxious to hear the results of the investigation is

because in 2001, he was contacted by a number of former employees at fleet management who had concerns about a possible overbilling scheme occurring in the department. After Williams listened to the employees’ allegations, he reviewed hundreds of documents pertaining to SKE-Baker Support Services, the private company that was then contracted to perform the city’s garage services. When Williams told City Administrator George Kolb about the accusations, Kolb requested an internal audit be performed by Baird & Co. on the fleet management department. In 2001, Brenda Carroll from Baird & Co. told the commission that she had reviewed more than 13,000 records in the county’s fleet management department and found 10 potential examples of SKE-Baker duplicating services, adding that the discrepancy represented an error rate of only 0.015 percent. After Carroll’s report, Kolb insisted that fleet management’s audit was clean and there was no reason for alarm.

“This has been going on for quite a while and I’ve had this kind of conversation with Commissioner Williams and we have looked at fleet, over and over again,” Kolb said in 2001. “We’ve tried to address each and every complaint that he has given to us and we have found nothing amiss.” But last year, the city’s current contractor, First Vehicle Services, alerted the city to some “irregularities” it had discovered under the former management company, Williams said. “Thanks to the service that we have with the current fleet management, who uncovered this and brought it to our attention and our administrator, we finally started investigating,” Williams told the commission on May 18. “Their home office even came down. It was that serious now. “So, we ain’t talking about $5 or $10. If it was $5 or $10, it would still be wrong. But this is really wrong.” Shepard told commissioners that if they would like further information about the investigation, they would have to discuss the matter in their legal meeting, behind closed doors. The commissioners agreed to end the public discussion of the investigation with only Williams objecting. He protested the closed-door discussion of the matter because he felt the pace of the investigation was ridiculously slow. “With all of the technology, all of the stuff that we’ve got, here we are in the computer age with e-mail and fax machines and overnight delivery and we’re still talking about waiting on stuff to come from Philadelphia?” Williams sarcastically asked. “You are going to tell me that it takes that long to do nothing. Man, I could have walked to New York and back with all that time.” Williams said he thought the real problem was that there were other agendas at play. “I think we are waiting on something to die down, but it is not going to die down,” Williams said. “I want to know what happened.”

METRO BEAT

Crime

Deputy Investigated in Purloined Pooches Case

nternal affairs investigators with the Richmond County Sheriff’s Department are looking into allegations that a deputy tried to profit from purebred dogs a local woman had reported missing. Karen Murphy, a resident of Country Club Hills, said she had been missing her pug, ChiChi, and Maltese named Precious, since March, when they ran away from her home. Murphy had posted ads for the missing dogs in her neighborhood and surrounding area, and also had run several ads in the <it>Metro Spirit<it> trying to get them back. Then last Friday, May 14, Murphy received a call on her cell phone while at her son’s soccer game. The caller said he was in the Savannah West apartment complex off Washington Road and had seen a dog matching the description of Murphy’s pug, she said. When Murphy arrived, the caller directed her to a neighbor’s apartment. “So I went over there and my dog literally jumped up into my arms, and I was in a standing position,” Murphy said. “And this is a small dog. This is a pug.” Murphy said she talked with the neighbor, who said he had gotten the dog from a sheriff’s deputy living in the complex. The man didn’t mention paying money for the dog, but did say the deputy had shown him papers signifying it was a purebred. Murphy said her pug does not have papers and said she feels certain the deputy was trying to profit from the dog in some way. “Otherwise, I don’t think the mention of the papers would have even come to light,” Murphy said. As she was recovering the pug, the deputy got in his car with the Maltese and left, Murphy said.

She said she gave the caller who alerted her to the dogs a $300 reward. Murphy said her son went to the deputy’s apartment the next day and asked to get the Maltese back. The deputy, Murphy said, suggested he should get a cut of the reward. “My son approached the officer before we

—— Richmond County Sheriff Ronnie Strength got the (Maltese) dog back,” Murphy said. “He (the deputy) said it was our fault that the dogs got out and he deserved part of the reward for giving the dogs back.

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returned and she was talking to internal affairs investigators. Sheriff Ronnie Strength confirmed Tuesday that internal affairs was investigating the

matter and no actions have been taken against the deputy. For that reason, the Metro Spirit is withholding the officer’s name. Strength said the deputy maintained that he tried to locate the owner of the dogs and notified a maintenance worker at the apartment complex that he had them at his apartment in case anyone came looking for them. The maintenance worker confirmed the deputy’s story, Strength said. Strength said the deputy told investigators that he had even spent roughly $200 on the dogs at a local veterinarian “getting them cleaned up.” The sheriff said he had no information to support the allegation that the deputy had tried to pass off bogus pedigree papers on the pug. “None of our folks know about papers,” Strength said. “We’ve not developed that yet, so I can’t confirm that.” “He (the deputy) said, ‘I thought I was doing somebody a deed by getting those dogs out of the middle of the street, no tags or anything on them,’” Strength added. “But, we’ll get to the bottom of it.” Meanwhile, Murphy said she plans to press charges against the deputy. “I’m very upset with the police officer and we’re going to press charges,” Murphy said. “I sat down with my family and we talked about it on the phone this morning and he just purposely lied too many times. He could have told the truth and not made this big scam, but instead, he had to cover himself and tell lies. And that’s not someone I want on the streets protecting me.”

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“He just wasn’t like a nice guy. He wasn’t like, “Ok, let me try to help you.’ It was like, ‘What are you doing? What are you doing here?’ So obviously, I think he was trying to cover up for whatever wrongs he was doing.” Angered over the situation, Murphy said she went to the sheriff’s office and complained. A short time later, she said, her Maltese was

“He (the deputy) said, 'I thought I was doing somebody a deed by getting those dogs out of the middle of the street, no tags or anything on them.' But, we'll get to the bottom of it.”

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METRO BEAT

Commission

Commission Bewildered by Proposed 6-Percent Cut

hen Augusta Commissioner Bobby Hankerson woke up and saw the headline, “Budget cuts vex leaders” in the May 13 edition of The Augusta Chronicle, he became pretty vexed himself. “I was kind of alarmed this morning when I read the newspaper about the recommended cuts,” Hankerson said during a May 13 sales tax meeting, referring to story about a memo from the city’s finance department asking department heads how a 6 percent cut would affect their operations. “I’d like to know where that came from because we hadn’t discussed that,” Hankerson said. “And now, my telephone has been ringing and people have been talking to me about all the cuts and the proposal that we recommended. My question is: Who proposed that?” Deputy Administrator Fred Russell, filling in for City Administrator George Kolb, who was in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. interviewing for the vacant city manager position, explained to commissioners that a few weeks ago, the city’s finance committee instructed Kolb and the finance department to look at possible cuts in the 2004 budget to help cover an almost $4 million anticipated deficit. The budgetary shortfall is expected to come as a result of the city not saving enough from its manpower management plan. In order for this plan to work, city departments were to only hire new employees to fill crucial positions. According to Kolb, the city was supposed to see a savings of about $1 million in this year’s first quarter. Instead, only $200,000 was saved. “The finance committee had asked the administrator to get back with department heads and look at what would be an appropriate way to reduce expenses,” Russell said. “There was a let-

ter drafted and sent to department heads requesting them to look at their budgets and determine what would be appropriate. The target reduction that they looked at was 6 percent.” Finance Director David Persaud wrote the memo that was given to each department and placed copies of the request in the commissioners’ mailboxes at the municipal building for their review. “That report was then released to the media,” Russell said. “It was released from the finance department before I or Mr. Kolb had a chance to look at it.” Hankerson said he did not appreciate reading in the newspaper comments from the sheriff and fire chief about how these proposed cuts could cripple their departments, especially when the

By Stacey Eidson

commission knew nothing about the requested 6 percent cut. “The finance committee directed you to come back to us with the report,” Hankerson told Russell. “But now, it’s the perception out there that we have already decided this is what we are going to do. And I think that’s a little premature.” “I stepped into a business today and the first thing they said to me was I was raising their taxes,” Hankerson said. “And then people were calling me about law enforcement being cut. So I think we need to be a lot more careful.” Augusta Commissioner Betty Beard said she had also read the story in the newspaper and was so upset by some of the comments Kolb made in the article that she cut the story out of the newspaper and brought it to the meeting.

“My telephone has been ringing and people have been talking to me about all the cuts and the proposal that we recommended. My question is: Who proposed that?” — Augusta Commissioner Bobby Hankerson

Beard directed the commission to a paragraph in the middle of the story that stated, “Mr. Kolb — who says his 2004 budget was altered by commissioners — said Wednesday that $4 million in projected savings from the manpower management plan was something he didn’t recommend but was passed by the commission.” “‘In fact, I told them at budget time it won’t work,’” Beard said, reading Kolb’s direct quote from the newspaper. Beard then skipped further down in the article and read Kolb’s response to a question about whether he thought the commission would blame him for the almost $4 million deficit if he accepts the job in Florida. “‘I’m not worried about it. I gave the commission a balanced budget, and they made changes to it. Every manager is blamed for something after they leave,’” Beard said, reading Kolb’s comments. As she set the newspaper down in front of her, Beard turned and looked at each commissioner. “Well, I simply don’t feel that is the manner in which our administrator should talk about our commissioners,” she said. “I don’t think Augusta is going to be what it should be until the mayor, our administrator and the commissioners all work together.” Beard concluded her comments with a statement that silenced the entire room. “Now, I’m hopeful George (Kolb) will get this new job,” Beard said, with apparent frustration. “Because most administrators would understand the importance of working with the commissioners and coming up with a consensus. “I’m sorry, but I read this and that’s how I feel.” Beard did not get her wish. On May 18, Kolb was not chosen as Fort Lauderdale’s new city manager.

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 20, 2004

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Nuwaubians Still Here, Despite Jailed Leader

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 20, 2004 16

In a 2000 interview with the Metro Spirit, Sills said the Nuwaubians had even published a notice that they would not be responsible if he was assassinated. Other officials in Putnam County had accused the Nuwaubians of intimidating them as revenge for what the group claimed to be inequitable zoning enforcement relating to the compound property. Then-Putnam County Attorney Dorothy Adams said she arrived home one day to find parts of a dog carcass on either side of her driveway. She also had her tires slashed and authorities

weapons on the compound. That’s why roughly 300 law enforcement officers were used to storm the property in May of 2002, the same day York was taken into custody at a Milledgeville grocery store on suspicion of the child molestation charges. But Woodall accuses Sills and others of conspiring to run the Nuwaubians out of Eatonton because it was hurting the town’s image, rather than because the group’s presence posed a physical threat to anyone. “They realized that if the message gets sent out that you can establish your own property, your own land, and build what you want there, File Photo / Brian Neill

he Nuwaubians, that mysterious and controversial fraternal group that erected mock pyramids and Egyptian statues in Putnam County, and whose leader, Malachi York, was sentenced to 135 years in prison on child molestation charges, is still alive and well, right here in Augusta. And the group also has delivered to media and authorities videotaped confessions from at least two prosecution witnesses in the York case who say they falsified testimony regarding being molested by the leader. An All Eyes on Egypt Bookstore, part of a chain run by the Nuwaubians, is still operating in the Augusta West Plaza after York was found guilty by a jury in federal court earlier this year on 13 counts of child molestation and racketeering. Attorneys for York have appealed the case. On a recent morning inside the Augusta store (where no photographs were permitted), the strong smell of incense permeated the air and books with titles like “The Luciferian Conspiracy,” “Are There Black Devils?” and “Was Adam White or Black?” lined the walls. Copies of the Qur’aan and the Raatib for Shriners were also for sale, as were Egyptianthemed clothing and accessories. One of the bookstore’s operators, Verna Cleophat, arranged a phone interview there with Al Woodall, a spokesperson and “agent” for the group. Cleophat declined to answer any questions herself. Speaking by phone from the group’s 476acre compound in Eatonton, Woodall, a 29-year-old civil engineer, said York’s imprisonment was the result of a conspiracy that stemmed from the late 1990s when Howard Sills became Putnam County sheriff. The Nuwaubians, who also call themselves the United Nuwaubian Nation of Moors, have had a long-standing, antagonistic relationship with Sills. That relationship nearly erupted in violence in the spring of 1999 when armed members of the group refused to allow Sills on the compound property to investigate a zoning matter. Following the incident, the Nuwaubians continued to attack Sills in their publications, altering photographs to make his face appear sinister and accusing him of conducting improper arrests and being a drug lord.

by Brian Neill

Detail of wall at Nuwaubian compound in Putnam County. later determined the culprit had been a Nuwaubian spokesman. As recently as February, a Macon television station reported that three people claiming to be Nuwaubians had been arrested after letting a pit bull attack a Macon police officer. According to the report, the individuals claimed diplomatic immunity because they were Nuwaubians. At the time of York’s arrest, authorities suspected the Nuwaubians were stockpiling

next to Reynolds Plantation and their golf courses where the president comes to visit, they feel that would be creating a problem,” Woodall said. “People would have to drive past a small Egyptian village on their way to Reynolds Plantation or wherever they want to go.” As for claims that the group was stockpiling arms, Woodall said authorities found only a small number of personal weapons, all of which were properly licensed.

The Associated Press reported that about 30 handguns and rifles were found during the raid. “That was our Holocaust on May 8, 2002, when they sent 300 armed federal agents, sheriff’s deputies and other law enforcement up here. They were preparing for a Waco,” Woodall said. “They had guns, artillery weapons pointed at women and children that were up here on the property on May 8, threatening them, screaming at them, breaking glass, desecrating what we consider our holy land, in the name of looking for stockpiles of weapons. And that’s where that whole, ‘They’re preparing for the showdown’ propagated. “If there was any time that we were going to exercise any type of violent agenda, it would have been then. But you know what? It didn’t happen.” Woodall said that people were mistaken to think the Nuwaubians would disband once York was imprisoned, adding that there are other leaders who have stepped in to take his place. However, Woodall could not say how many Nuwaubians are here in Augusta. Cleophat would not answer the question. The Nuwaubians have participated in parades locally and one of the group’s members headed the local chapter of the NAACP several years ago. Alexander Smith created a stir among NAACP members in 2000 when he attended Augusta’s Martin Luther King Unity Day Parade decked out in a Pharaoh costume. As for York’s crimes, Woodall said more people will be coming forward to clear the leader’s name in the near future. The Nuwaubians have distributed two videotapes, one from a woman identifying herself as Samaiyah Jamaiylah Ellis, and another from a woman claiming to be Habiba Abigail Washington, both of whom say they were coerced into testifying against York. Washington does, however, say she had a child with York when she was 17. In a bizarre twist just last month, seven Macon police officers, a police trainee and a firefighter resigned from the city in protest over what they considered to be a mishandling of York’s case, particularly in light of the videotaped confession from Washington, the first to be released. continued on page 17

Later, the group adopted a Native American motif and claimed to be descendants of the Yemassee Indians. At one time, York claimed to be from another planet and was going to lead followers to salvation by extraterrestrials. The Nuwaubians also have claimed alliance with the Freemasons and Shriners. Woodall said some members of the Nuwaubians have believed in all of those things at one time or another, but added that the views of some should not be taken as a representation of the entire group. “People want to say that, if just a few members believe in this, then this is what

File Photo / Brian Neill

continued from page 16 “The reason for the resignation is that we will not continue to risk our lives in support of a city and mayor that turns their back to obvious injustices,” one of the resigning police officers reportedly said in an issued statement, according to a Macon Telegraph article. “A taped confession came into our possession, and we tried to bring this evidence of criminal activity to their attention ... The City of Macon and their biased media affiliates are aiding the prosecution in hiding the truth from the public.” The Telegraph, in fact, had already reported on the release of the videotape. York actually pleaded guilty to the molestation charges in January of 2003. Prosecutors maintained he had molested at least 13 children, some as young as 11. His plea was in exchange for a 15-year maximum prison sentence. However, a federal judge later threw out the plea deal because it did not meet minimum federal sentencing guidelines for the crimes. A judge gave York and prosecutors an opportunity to renegotiate the plea deal or embark on a trial, at which time York said he was chief of a Native American tribe and did not fall within the parameters of the American justice system. York was convicted in January following a three-week trial in Brunswick. The beliefs of the Nuwaubians have been hard to define. When they first came to Eatonton in 1993, most followers wore cowboy boots and hats and were called the Mystic Order of Malachizodok.

Guard at compound gate videotaping a reporter across the street in 2000.

your whole organization’s doctrine is about,” Woodall said. “And that’s just not true.” Although the Nuwaubians have been identified as a black separatist hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center, an Alabama-based watchdog agency that keeps tabs on groups like neo-Nazis and the Ku Klux Klan, Woodall said membership is open to any and all. “It’s (open to) everybody. And we know it’s never been about racial hatred,” Woodall said. “We know that the motto of Malachi Z. York since 1988 has always been, ‘No one wins the race in racism.’ We know that.”

When pointed out that the group follows many practices and customs ascribed to cults — a strong charismatic leader, uniform styles of dress and regularly scheduled gatherings, for instance — Woodall said those characteristics also match another group of people. “If we’re a cult, based off of that, then so is everybody else in the United States military,” Woodall said. “Because that’s the exact same description that you gave for a cult, describing us, that you can also apply to the United States military. So if we’re a cult, they’re a cult, and if they’re not a cult, then neither are we.”

“That was our Holocaust on May 8, 2002, when they sent 300 armed federal agents, sheriff’s deputies and other law enforcement up here. They were preparing for a Waco.” —— Al Woodall, spokesman for the Nuwaubians

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BITE Wild Game Cookin’ For A Cause

eek around the back of their log cabin façade this Saturday and you might find members of the Burke’s Bunch cooking team preparing some wild boar or turkey, maybe some duck or quail, some fresh king mackerel or even a whole hog. Burke’s Bunch, a consistent presence at the Cookin’ for Kids B-B-Que & Wild Game Cook-Off, has entered all four categories in the Shelter and Advocacy Center for Children and Child Enrichment’s main fund-raiser — categories that include big game, small game, fish and barbeque — and these guys will be having fun. Founder Sean Burke, who said they’re still tweaking the recipes for this year’s competition, said the team is made up of childhood friends who love to hunt, cook and drink beer. Many of the original members have gone on to form their own teams. “Yet we still try to cook together in events like this because we have such camaraderie,” he said. Two people might show up one year, Burke said, or they may have seven or eight in their makeshift kitchen. “We always say the more the merrier, but then again, the more confusing it gets,” Burke explained. “We always try to have fun with it — that’s the main thing.”

By Amy Fennell Christian

Event chair Lisa Regan agreed. “It’s really laidback,” she said. “It really is a lot of fun. It’s like an outdoor party.” The cook-off will also feature live band the Toasters, events, exhibitions, interactive programs and refreshments. Proceeds from the event will benefit the Shelter and Advocacy Center for Children and Child Enrichment, Inc., which not only provides a temporary place to stay for children who’ve been removed from their homes because of abuse, but also provides them

counseling and, through volunteer CASA representatives, someone to speak for them while going through the court process. This event might be a fun way to raise money for a good cause, but Burke said these kinds of cooking competitions are also serious business. “It gets pretty competitive,” Burke admitted. Regan added that the approximately 14 teams competing — some of whom have names like the Big Hats, the Woodpeckers and Backyard Cookshop — take this event very seriously. “Some of them will spend the night out there Friday night to cook whatever their specialty is,” she said. There are many teams who pack up their equipment and travel from event to event. For these teams, Burke explained, winning is important because of the prize money which helps them recoup their travel, fees, equipment and food expenses. For teams who don’t travel, like Burke’s Bunch, it’s more about bragging rights than prize money. “It’s nice to win because you can recoup some of the money you put out,” he said. “We decided that once we recouped our expenses, we would donate whatever we had left over to the child advocacy center.”

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 20, 2004

CULINARY CLUB BURKE’S BUNCH HAS BEEN A CONSISTENT PRESENCE AT THE COOKIN’ FOR KIDS B-B-QUE & WILD GAME COOK-OFF.

What: The 15th Annual Cookin’ for Kids B-B-Que & Wild Game Cook-Off When: Saturday, May 22, from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Where: Daniel Field Airport Admission: Adults and children 12 and over, $5; children ages 3-12, $3; free for children 3 and under. Main event: Approximately 14 cooking teams will compete for prize money and trophies in categories that will include big game, small game, fish and

barbeque. Judging will start at 11 a.m., with the awards ceremony in the afternoon. Many teams will offer samples of their dishes. Other attractions: A live band, refreshments, children’s games, interactive programs from the Phinizy Swamp Education Center and Ft. Discovery, a live reptile show with Okeefenokee Joe and a live exhibition from the Georgia Southern University Center for Wildlife Education. Most of the games and programs are free.

in the mix Von MacKinnon has worked at Village Deli for seven years, but most of her customers would probably be surprised to learn that her name is actually Yvonne. She created the nickname for herself a short time after beginning work in the restaurant industry after discovering it took too much time to write her full name out on tickets (much less teaching people how to pronounce it). She’s been known to come in to work with her shirt on backwards and inside out, but if you want to find out what she thinks is the dumbest thing she’s ever done, keep reading. So what is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done? One time a friend of mine and I were in a truck and went to get some gas. On the way back, we were listening to some music and went to park in front of my Miata and ran on top of it. We were into the music and not paying attention and we ran over my own car in somebody else’s truck. When it comes to comfort food, do you prefer mac and cheese or mashed potatoes? Mac and cheese because I love cheese — anything cheese. Photo by Joe White

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METRO SPIRIT — MAY 20, 2004

hen Nigel Redden, the general director of Spoleto Festival USA, answered the telephone, the question put to him was this one: Why have a performing arts festival in the first place? “Well I think, ‘Why live in the first place?’” he said. “I think what Spoleto is about, is finding the best context to see the performing arts. We don’t do all the performing arts, but we do a huge variety of work.” I counted 32 productions in the course of the festival — including everything from ballet to opera to symphony and jazz concerts. Each one of these represents a story that reveals something of what it means to be human. “They (performing arts) speak to the human spirit. They are the human spirit, I suppose. I don’t feel that they need any more justification than that,” Redden said. The mission of the festival, he said, is to do the best work they can, in presenting the entire range of performing arts. “To make Charleston come alive with performances … every year.” I commented that being general director of such an event sounds like a pretty cool job. “Oh … it’s wonderful,” he said. So I asked him just how he’d become involved. That happened in the ‘70s, when he got a student assistantship at the Italian festival at the age of 18. After that, he was hooked. That’s when he discovered that “seeing more events than you thought you’d ever want to in a day” could be a really good thing. “Fortunately the magic got me and I’ve never wanted to do anything else,” he said. I asked if Spoleto Festival USA was primarily about showcasing young, or at least new, talent. “Not entirely,” he replied. Then he pointed out that veteran ballet dancer Mikhail Baryshnikov is acting in one of the stage productions — “The Doctor and the Patient.” “What we try to do,” he explained, “is to mix experienced performers with

people who have less experience, but I think with everyone we try to give them an experience that is different.” The Spoleto Festival Orchestra, for instance, is made up of young performers, but the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater is full of seasoned performers. The Moscow Ballet Theater, he said, is built around a prima ballerina, but the bulk of the dancers are much less experienced. “The members are relatively young,” he said. “But she is certainly someone who is very, very experienced in her career.” The play in which Baryshnikov is acting, “The Doctor and the Patient,” contains performers in all stages of their careers. (The author is from Georgia, by the way — the Republic of Georgia.) I asked him if the audiences tend to come in from elsewhere. “Yes, the majority of the audiences come from outside Charleston — and outside the state of South Carolina,” he said. “We sell between 70,000 and 80,000 tickets. Obviously some people attend more than one event.” For that reason, he said, he couldn’t give an exact count. I asked him about the connection between the Festival of Two Worlds in Spoleto, Italy. “They used to be very closely connected,” he said, adding that the original festival began as a showcase for American talent. “At a certain point, there was talk of starting an American counterpart. It was finally started in 1977 — 19 years after the start of the Italian festival.” When the founder left Spoleto Festival USA in 1993, he said, the connection was over. “The concept or the underlying philosophy has remained the same,” Redden said. “The arts reinforce each other. There is a point in putting on stage a spectrum of the arts. There is also a point in trying to make the arts become the most important aspect of life for a period of time in a city that has a strong personality of its own.” He said that the first opera perform-

Event: Spoleto Festival USA 2004 Description: Performing arts festival featuring opera, theater, musical theater, dance, music Venue: Various spots in Charleston, S.C.

Courtesy of Spoleto Festival USA

By Rhonda Jones

AS IF YOU COULDN’T RECOGNIZE HIM, THIS IS MIKHAIL BARYSHNIKOV WHO IS PERFORMING AT SPOLETO THIS YEAR AS AN ACTOR. ance in America was in Charleston, and It’s not like someone who has said that it had its own ballet company bought a subscription a year before in the 18th century. It also lays claim to and feels obligated to attend, he said. the oldest musical organization in the And there’s so much to choose from. country, which is still alive and well, There’s even an 18—hour—long Redden said. Chinese opera. “Charleston embraced the arts right Actually, you don’t sit there for 18 from the beginning. What Spoleto hours straight. There are six episodes, Festival does is reinforce the DNA of each lasting three hours, shown over Charleston. I think people love it. the course of four days. To those who Inevitably, people aren’t going to say to feel intimidated about making such a me, ‘I hate coming to Charleston.’ But commitment, Redden said that is no the fact that people ask to come back different from committing to a televi… The city of Charleston is lovely; the sion series. time of year is effective. The theatre’s “I think that all of us have gotten ourreally quite wonderful. What a perselves involved in one way or another former needs on that side is taken care in a long, involved series.” In fact, he of. The audience is wonderful.” said, he has seen this particular opera, And there are plenty of people out “The Peony Pavilion,” several times. there in the audiences who have seen a During one particular experience, he lot of theatre, he said. “But also people was seated near a woman who, when it relatively new to the arts. That means was over, asked what she was supposed the audience is sort of fresh. No one’s to do with herself. jaundiced. They’ve made a point to “It becomes an engrossing event,” come here.” he said.

Dates: May 28-June 13 Tickets: (843) 579-3100 or tickets@spoletousa.org Info: (843) 722-2764 or www.spoletousa.org

arts

Spoleto Festival Performance Schedule • Opening Weekend Gala — Exhibition Hall, Gaillard Municipal Auditorium — May 29

• Bank of America Chamber Music — Dock Street Theatre — May 28-31; June 1-13

• Ariadne auf Naxos (opera) — Dock Street Theatre — May 29, 31; June 3, 5, 7, 10, 12

• Westminster Choir Choral/Orchestral Concert — Gaillard Municipal Auditorium — June 7

• I Capuleti e i Montecchi (opera) — Sottile Theatre — May 28, 31; June 4, 11

• Westminster Choir Concerts — Cathedral Church of St. Luke and St. Paul — June 3, 12

• The Peony Pavilion (Chinese opera) — Memminger Auditorium — Cycle I, June 3-6; Cycle II, June 10-13 • The Doctor and the Patient (musical) — Dock Street Theatre — May 27 preview; May 28, 30-31; June 2, 4-6, 9, 11-12 • A Large Attendance in the Antechamber (play) — Gage Hall, Unitarian Church — May 31; June 1, 3-7 • The Fula From America: An African Journey (play) — Emmett Robinson Theatre, Albert Simons Center — June 7-10 • DJ Spooky’s Rebirth of a Nation (solo theatrical performance) — Sottile Theatre — June 8-10, 12 • Love’s Fowl (opera/puppet show) — Emmett Robinson Theatre, Albert Simons Center — June 2-6 • A Simple Heart (dance) — Emmett Robinson Theatre, Albert Simons Center — June 11-13 • The Chairs (dance) — Emmett Robinson Theatre, Albert Simons Center — May 28-June 1 • Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater (dance) — Gaillard Municipal Auditorium — May 29-31 • Moscow Ballet Theatre — Gaillard Municipal Auditorium — June 11-12

• Spoleto Festival Orchestra Festival Concert — Gaillard Municipal Auditorium — June 2

YOU ARE INVITED TO REVIEW CURRENT AND FUTURE TRANSPORTATION PROJECTS The public is invited to review and comment on the draft FY 2005-2007 Transportation Improvement Program (TIP) for the Augusta Regional Transportation Study (ARTS) from May 20 until June 21, 2004. The ARTS area covers the urbanized portions of Richmond and Columbia County, GA and Aiken and Edgefield County, SC. The TIP contains ARTS surface transportation projects scheduled to be implemented over the next three to five years under federal transportation funding acts. The TIP may be reviewed from 8:30 A.M. to 5:00 P.M., Monday - Friday at the following locations: • Augusta-Richmond County Planning Commission, 525 Telfair Street, Augusta, Georgia (706) 821-1796 • Aiken County Planning and Development, Suite 130, Kalmia Plaza, 1680 Richland Avenue West, Aiken, South Carolina (803) 642-1520 • Columbia County Planning & Development Services, 630 Ronald Reagan Drive, Evans, Georgia (706) 868-3400 Three public information meetings will be held to obtain public comment on the draft TIP:

Meeting date

Time

Location

Monday, May 24, 2004

5:00 P.M. to 7:00 P.M.

Municipal Building, Room 803 530 Greene St, Augusta, GA

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

4:00 P.M. to 6:00 P.M.

• Intermezzi music series — Grace Episcopal Church — May 30; June 1, 3, 6, 10

Aiken County Council Building 736 Richland Avenue, Aiken, SC

Thursday, May 27, 2004

6:00 P.M. to 8:00 P.M.

Evans Government Center Auditorium 630 Ronald Reagan Drive, Evans, GA

• Music in Time series — Recital Hall, Albert Simons Center — May 28, June 2, 4, 9

Please call (706) 821-1796 for more information and a complete list of locations where the draft TIP can be reviewed. Persons with special needs related to handicapped accessibility or foreign language may contact the Augusta-Richmond County Planning Commission for assistance.

• Spoleto Festival Orchestra Memminger Concert — Memminger Auditorium — June 9

• Renato Braz (vocal jazz) — The Cistern — May 28-29

George A. Patty, Executive Director Augusta-Richmond County Planning Commission

• Uri Caine (jazz pianist) — The Cistern — May 30 • Bill Charlap Trio (jazz) — The Cistern — June 4

YOUR FUTURE STARTS HERE!

• Dee Dee Bridgewater (vocal jazz) — Gaillard Municipal Auditorium — June 5 • The Fred Hersch Ensemble (jazz) — Sottile Theatre — June 3

Personal and Professional Development

• Wycliffe Gordon & Eric Reed (jazz) — Recital Hall, Albert Simons Center — June 10-12 • Festival Finale (orchestral concert and picnic) — Middleton Place — June 13

Summer Continuing Education Classes Registration Begins NOW!

COURSES STARTING SOON!

NOW!

CALL

Courtesy of Spoleto Festival USA AUSTRALIAN ACTOR BRIAN LIPSON IMPERSONATES THE VICTORIAN SCIENTIST SIR FRANCIS GALTON IN “A LARGE ATTENDANCE IN THE ANTECHAMBER.”

737-1636 OR LOG ON

www.ced.aug.edu

Shag Dance: Beginning Intermediate Small Business: Starting Your Own Business Spanish Language Level 1 Stained Glass Tai Chi Verbal and Math SAT Skills Building Weeks Writing and Grammar Test Prep

We are proud to offer over 300+ instructor-led online courses. Internet delivery, anytime--anywhere. Attend classes in your pajamas, day or night, weekday or weekend. You'll find most of them listed on our website at www.ced.aug.edu and the entire list at

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METRO SPIRIT — MAY 20, 2004

TO RECEIVE A CATALOG OR TO REGISTER

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Sesame Chicken White meat chicken lightly battered, fried until golden brown, then sauteed with authentic fragrant sesame sauce.

Ginger Shrimp Sauteed jumbo shrimp with ginger and scallions. Served with Chinese green cabbage as bedding.

Steamed Seabass with Ginger Sauce

Szechuan Garden Chinese Restaurant is now open in the former location of the China Garden. Authentic Chinese cuisine, cooked with no MSG, using only vegetable oil, is a healthy treat for lunch or dinner. We have honored the former owners of the China Garden, an Augusta institution for over 30 years, by bringing back their famous Louise’s Special Shrimp using Louise and Perry’s own recipe. Our chef has over 30 years experience and we pride ourselves on using only the freshest, finest ingredients available. We feature a lunch buffet for $4.95, which you are sure to enjoy. For dinner, we offer special dishes a la carte. Stop by today and try our Szechuan, Hunan and Cantonese style cooking. Thank you. “AUGUSTA’S BEST CHINESE RESTAURANT!”

METRO SPIRIT — MAY 20, 2004

Lunch Buffet

$ 95

1535 Walton Way Tel: (706) 738-2302 Fax: (706) 738-7949 OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK Mon-Thurs 11:00 am - 10:00 pm Fri & Sat 11:00 am - 10:30 pm Sunday 11:30 - 10:00 pm

BUY 10 LUNCH BUFFETS, GET THE 11TH ONE FREE

Buy One Entree, Get 2nd of Equal or Lesser Value 1/2 Price Dine in or take out only. Limit one per table Not good for buffet. Expires 05-27-04

Kids

Learning

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Calendar Health

Education

Out of Town Music

Special

Benefits Meetings Theater Auditions Exhibitions Attractions MuseumsArts Seniors Dance Arts

NEIL SIMON’S “BRIGHTON BEACH MEMOIRS” will be presented by Aiken Community Playhouse through May 29 at the Washington Center for the Performing Arts in Aiken. Tickets are $15 general admission, $13 for seniors 60 and over, $10 for students and $6 for children 12 and under. For info, call (803) 648-1438 or e-mail info@aikencommunityplayhouse.com.

Auditions ENOPION THEATRE COMPANY is looking for volunteers to act, sing, sew, build and more for their new musical, “Creation.” Applications are available at www.imaryproductions.com or by calling (803) 442-9039.

Attractions

SWEET ADELINES HARMONY RIVER CHORUS OPEN REHEARSAL for singers each Thursday at 7 p.m. at Church of Christ, 600 Martintown Rd. in North Augusta. They are on the lookout for voices in the lower ranges. Contact Stacy Branch at 8779931.

MOTORIZED TOURS OF HISTORIC AIKEN every Saturday, 1011:30 a.m. Tours leave from the Washington Center for the Performing Arts. Reservations are required, and patrons must be age 2 and older. (803) 642-7631.

FORT GORDON DINNER THEATRE needs two men, two women, ages 20-40, for a production of “I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change.” Auditions are May 24-25, 7 p.m. at the Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre. Bring a prepared musical number. For info, call 791-4389 or e-mail walperts@gordon.army.mil.

Education ISRAELI DANCE WORKSHOP at the Augusta Jewish Community Center Sunday afternoons, 4-5 p.m. Open to teens and adults; no experience or partners are necessary. Cost is $2 per session, with the first session free. For information or to schedule a pre-class beginner/refresher session, contact Jackie Cohen, 738-9016. ART CLASSES AND WORKSHOPS are offered year-round at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art. Classes and workshops are open to toddlers through adults and feature instruction in drawing, painting, photography, pottery, weaving and sculpture. For a newsletter or detailed information on registering for classes at the Gertrude Herbert, call 722-5495. The Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art also offers educational tours; for information, contact the education director at the above telephone number. ART CLASSES FOR CHILDREN AND ADULTS at the Art Factory. The Art Factory also has a homeschool program and scholarships are available. Programs include painting, pottery, pilates, hip-hop, modern dance and more. Classes are held at the Art Factory, 418 Crawford Ave., or at the Augusta Jewish Community Center. Call 731-0008 for details.

Exhibitions JANOS ENYEDI: THE AMERICAN INDUSTRIAL LANDSCAPE — RECONSTRUCTED will be on view at the Morris Museum of Art through May 30. For more information, call 724-7501. WORKS OF TOM NAKASHIMA AND JANOS ENYEDI will be on display at the Mary Pauline Gallery through May 29. For more information, call 724-9542.

THE 521 ALL-STARS: A CHAMPIONSHIP STORY OF BASEBALL AND COMMUNITY will be on display at The Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History through June 30. THE SOUTH CAROLINA WATERCOLOR SOCIETY’S 27th annual awards exhibition is on display at the Aiken Center for the Arts at 122 Laurens Street in Aiken through June 26. Eighty paintings have been selected for the exhibition and $10,000 in artist awards were presented to the top 30 artists. For info, call (678) 721-2506.

Dance THE AUGUSTA INTERNATIONAL FOLK DANCE CLUB meets Thursday evenings at 7:30 p.m. No partners are needed and newcomers are welcome. Call 737-6299 for location and info. AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF THE UNITED STATES AMATEUR BALLROOM DANCERS ASSOCIATION holds a dance the first Saturday of each month, from 7:15-11 p.m. Cost is $7 for members and $10 for non-members. Held at the BPOE facility on Elkdom Court. Contact Melvis Lovett, 733-3890, or Jean Avery, 863-4186, for information.

Attention: Joe Stevenson, 3208 A Mike Padgett Hwy., Augusta, GA 30906. E-mail MP3s to jstevenson@bellsouth.net. Deadline is June 1. HOPELANDS SUMMER CONCERT SERIES continues May 23 with pianist John Vaughn. Concerts take place at Hopeland Gardens in Aiken at 7 p.m. Concerts will be held every week from May to August on the Roland H. Windham Performing Arts Stage. Performances will include a variety of music styles, as well as dance and vocal concerts. Please bring a lawn chair or blanket to sit on. Food is welcome but alcohol is prohibited. In case of inclement weather, please call 643-4661 for info.

A WORLD OF DANCE presents “A Sleeping Beauty Ballet” and “Hooray for Hollywood” featuring dancers age 3 to adult May 23 at 1:30 p.m. and 6 p.m. Tickets available at the Imperial Theatre box office or online at www.imperialtheatre.com. For info, call (706) 733-0115.

A SPRING CONCERT will be given by The Augusta Collegium Musicum, directed by William Toole, at Reid Memorial Church on the corner of Walton Way and Johns Road, on May 23 at 4 p.m. featuring the Byrd “Mass for Four Voices,” four motets by Aaron Copland and traditional spirituals. No admission, though donations are accepted. For info, call 733-5619.

Music

THE AIKEN CHORAL SOCIETY will present their annual spring concert at 4 p.m. May 23 at St. Mary Help of Christians Church in Aiken. Free of charge. For info, call Patricia Carter Hall at 6499193.

11TH ANNUAL BLIND WILLIE MCTELL BLUES FESTIVAL will be held May 22 in Thomson. Gates open at 11 a.m. Music starts at noon. Festival ends at 9 p.m. Advanced tix $15; day of show $20. For info, visit www.blindwillie.com or call (706) 597-1000.

BORDERS MUSIC EVENTS feature Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold on May 21, Chelsea Logue May 22, Sala Adenike May 23, Bryan Warlick May 28 and Charles Tremblay May 29. Call (706) 737-6962.

Theatre “FOSSE,” the Tony Award-winning smash musical highlighting the work of legendary dancer, choreographer and director Bob Fosse, will be at the Bell Auditorium May 20. Call (706) 722-3521 or visit info@arcc.com for more info.

AUGUSTA GOLF & BOTANICAL GARDENS OF THE GEORGIA GOLF HALL OF FAME features beautiful display gardens, as well as bronze sculptures of some of golf’s greatest masters. Available for rent for a variety of functions. Group discount rates available. Closed Mondays; open from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Tues.-Sat.; open from 1-5 p.m. on Sunday. Admission is $5.50 for adults; $4.50 for students, seniors and military; $3.50 for children (4-12); free for children 3 and under. Sundays are two for one with a Super Sunday coupon. Annual garden memberships are available. Call 724-4443 or 1-888-874-4443. Also, visit their Web site at www.gghf.org. NATIONAL SCIENCE CENTER’S FORT DISCOVERY: Children and adults alike can immerse themselves in the wonders of science through live demonstrations, virtual realities, Starlab, KidScape and more than 250 hands-on exhibits. General Admission: $8 for adults; $6 for children, seniors and active military. Group rates available. Operating hours: Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sunday, noon-5 p.m. Call 821-0200, 1-800-325-5445 or visit their Web site at www.NationalScienceCenter.org. REDCLIFFE STATE HISTORIC SITE: 1859 mansion of S.C. Governor James Henry Hammond, held by the family for three generations until 1975. Grounds and slave quarters are open Thursday-Monday, 9 a.m.-6 p.m. House tours will be offered at 1, 2 and 3 p.m. Admission to the grounds is free. Fee for house tours is $3 for adults and children ages 6-17. For more information, call (803) 827-1473. 181 Redcliffe Road, Beech Island. SACRED HEART CULTURAL CENTER is offering tours of its 100year-old building Mon.-Fri., 9 a.m.-5 p.m. $1 per person, children free. 826-4700. AUGUSTA VISITORS INFORMATION CENTER open Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sun. 1-5 p.m. Located inside the Augusta Museum of History. Call 724-4067.

THE 12 BANDS OF CHRISTMAS is now accepting submissions for the 2004 12 Bands of Christmas benefit and concert. Last year’s event raised $10,000 for MCG’s Children’s Medical Center. If you are an aspiring singer/songwriter or in a band, record a demo of an original or traditional Christmas song that you would like included on this year’s compilation. Artists will be chosen based on performance and song, not the quality of the recording. Submission is free, but CDs will not be returned. Include your name, band name, phone number, e-mail address and song name on the CD. There is no guarantee that your song will be used. If selected as one of the 12 Bands of Christmas, you will receive recording and production time with producer Ruskin Yeargain for the song that you submitted. You will also be a featured act in December at the Imperial Theatre concert. All costs of this, including any licensing fees, will be paid by Bordertown Music. This is a non-profit fund-raiser. Mail your CDs to 12 Bands of Christmas,

CONCERTS IN THE PARK presented by the North Augusta Cultural Arts Council, features quietSTORM on June 10, Savannah River Grass June 17, Blues Express June 24, Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold July 1, Thelma Robinson and Divine Providence July 15 and Fresh Music All-Star Big Band July 29. Call (803) 4427588.

THE BOYHOOD HOME OF WOODROW WILSON: Circa 1859 Presbyterian manse occupied by the family of President Woodrow Wilson as a child during the Civil War and Reconstruction. Original and period antiques, restored house, kitchen and carriage house. 419 Seventh Street. Open 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Tues.-Sat. Tours available; groups of 10 or more by appointment only. Admission is $5 adults, $4 seniors, $3 students under 18 and free for ages 5 and under. 722-9828.

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 20, 2004

HARRIET MARSHALL GOODE, “PERSONAL HISTORY BOX,” watercolor and acrylic paintings will be shown through May 29 at Rabold Gallery in Aiken. (703) 641-4405.

THE AIKEN COMMUNITY PLAYHOUSE PRESENTS “BRIGHTON BEACH MEMOIRS” THROUGH MAY 29. (803) 648-1438.

AUGUSTA CANAL INTERPRETIVE CENTER: Housed in Enterprise Mill, the center contains displays and models focusing on the Augusta Canal’s functions and importance to the textile industry. Hours are Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m. and Sun., 1-6 p.m. Admission is $5 adult, $4 seniors and military and $3 children ages 6-18. Children under 6 admitted free. Guided boat tours of the Augusta Canal depart from the docks at Enterprise Mill at 11 a.m., 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m. Saturdays and Tuesdays and Thursdays at 11 a.m. and 1:30 p.m. Tour tickets are $6 adults, $5 seniors and $4 students and children. For tour information, call 823-7089. For other info, visit www.augustacanal.com or call 823-0440.

THE EZEKIEL HARRIS HOUSE: Deemed “the finest 18th century house surviving in Georgia” by the “Smithsonian Guide to Historic America.” Open Saturday, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. General admission is $2; senior admission is $1 and children get in for 50 cents. For more information, call 724-0436.

Spanish for the Beginner, Sign Language, Debt-Free Living and more. “Travelearn” learning vacations for adults and Education to Go online courses also available. For info, phone (803) 641-3563. AIKEN TECH CONTINUING EDUCATION offers Education to Go classes online, as well as computer classes, massage therapy, medical coding and billing, motorcycle safety, driver education and more. For more information or to register, call (803) 593-9231, ext. 1230.

PHINIZY SWAMP NATURE PARK: See egrets, blue herons, river otters and elusive alligators in their natural setting, just minutes from downtown Augusta. The park has observation decks, boardwalks and several nature trails suitable for hiking. Open MondayFriday, noon-dusk, and Saturday and Sunday, dawn to dusk. For more information, call the Southeastern Natural Sciences Academy Office at 828-2109.

GED classes are offered by the Community Resource Center. Tuition is free. Call 722-4999 for more information. SERVICE CORPS OF RETIRED EXECUTIVES (SCORE) provides counseling and mentoring to business people either starting or continuing their business. Counseling is free and administered by retired executives. For more information, call 793-9998.

THE AUGUSTA FARMERS MARKET ON BROAD is held every Saturday from 8 a.m.-2 p.m. until Sept. 25. Located beside Health Central on Macartan Street from 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Accepting applications from vendors. Call (706) 722-7245.

FREE TUTORING at ASU’s Born to Read Literacy Center for all ages. Call 733-7043.

Museums THE GERTRUDE HERBERT INSTITUTE OF ART in Ware’s Folly exhibits works by local and regional artists. Art classes, workshops and other educational programming for children, youth and adults are held in the Walker-Mackenzie Studio. Open Tuesday-Friday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Saturday by appointment only. Admission is free, but a donation of $2 for adults and $1 for children and seniors is encouraged. Call 722-5495 or visit www.ghia.org for more info. THE AUGUSTA MUSEUM OF HISTORY hosts permanent exhibition “Augusta’s Story,” an award-winning exhibit encompassing 12,000 years of local history. For the younger crowd, there’s the Susan L. Still Children’s Discovery Gallery, where kids can learn about history in a hands-on environment. Located at 560 Reynolds Street. Open Tuesday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sunday, 1-5 p.m. New permanent exhibition, “Into the Interior: A History of the Georgia Railroad and Banking Company” also available. Admission is $4 adult, $3 seniors, $2 kids (6-18 years of age) and free for children under 6. Free admission on Sundays. Call 722-8454 or visit www.augustamuseum.org for more information. THE MORRIS MUSEUM OF ART hosts exhibitions and special events year-round. Art at Lunch takes place May 21, and Women on Paper will demonstrate painting techniques in the museum lobby on May 23. The members’ reception, titled “Point of View: American Folk Art From the William and Ann Oppenhimer Collection” in which the Oppenhimers discuss the nature and development of their collection, is on May 27, and is free for members. The free tour takes place May 30. Closed on Mondays and major holidays. 1 Tenth Street, Augusta. Call 724-7501 or visit www.themorris.org for details. THE MUSEUM OF LAUREL AND HARDY OF HARLEM, GEORGIA features displays of various Laurel and Hardy memorabilia; films also shown. Located at 250 N. Louisville Street in downtown Harlem. Open 1-4 p.m. Thursday-Monday. For more information, call 556-3448. LUNCH AT NOON LECTURE SERIES held the second Wednesday of every month at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History, 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Call the museum at 724-3576 for more information.

Special Events

AUGUSTA STATE UNIVERSITY CONTINUING EDUCATION is now offering courses in the following areas: History, personal enrichment, dance, exercise, youth, test prep, SAT prep, music, real estate, medical coding, investing, computer basics and more. There are also many online courses. For info, call 737-1636 or visit www.ced.aug.edu.

A TWILIGHT CRITERIUM THROUGH DOWNTOWN WILL BE ONE OF THE FEATURED EVENTS OF THE INAUGURAL GREATER AUGUSTA CYCLISMO MAY 22-23. (706) 722-8326. end their tour at any stop. Your ticket will be a T-shirt, which you must wear or carry with you. Venues will be listed on the shirt so that volunteers can mark off each tour location in the space provided. Cost is $15 in advance and $20 the day of the event. For info, call (803) 649-2221.

THE NEW AMERICAN SHAKESPEARE TAVERN presents “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum” through June 27. Performances are 7:30 p.m. Thursdays through Sundays with additional performances at 7:30 p.m. Wednesday, June 16 and 23, and Saturday, June 26 at 2 p.m. Call (404) 874-5299.

BEECH ISLAND HERITAGE DAY is Saturday, May 22, from 10 a.m.-5 p.m. at Granville Plantation on Beech Island. The highlight of the bridge anniversary celebration will be the actual wedding of Tessa Boyle of Aiken and Clayton Abbey of Augusta in a 1924 vintage ceremony at Granville at 1 p.m. in front of a painting of the old Sand Bar Ferry Bridge by artist Cole Phail. The wedding will recreate a mock wedding that took place July 8, 1924 on the old Sand Bar Ferry Bridge during the bridge’s opening ceremonies, which symbolized the joining of the two states by the new bridge. Following the wedding there will be a re-creation of the last duel that took place at the Sand Bar Ferry dueling grounds on Dec. 16, 1875. For info, visit www.beech-islandhistory.org, e-mail bdbartley@bellsouth.net or call (803) 827-0184.

CELEBRATE MICKY: 75 InspEARations Statue Tour comes to Underground Atlanta May 22-July 20, featuring 15, 700-pound, 6foot-tall statues. For info, call (404) 577-8686.

THE GEORGIA WAR VETERANS HOME MEMORIAL DAY CEREMONY will take place May 31 at 9 a.m. in the courtyard at the home at 1101 15th Street. Brigadier General Gregory J. Premo, deputy commanding general at Fort Gordon, will be the guest speaker. Mayor Bob Young will make opening remarks. Fort Gordon’s United States Army Signal Corp Band and the Post Color Guard will also participate in the ceremony. The public is invited to attend. Call (706) 721-2531.

TO TEMPT A TROUT will be held at Amicalola Falls State Park and Lodge in Dawsonville. Learn about fishing. The day begins with a morning fishing rodeo for kids younger than 15 and concludes with a film. Anglers older than 15 need a trout stamp and valid Georgia fishing license. Parking is $2. Call (706) 265-4703.

SPRITE REMIX ’04 GRADUATION BLAST will be held at Club Celebrity on Reynolds Street, May 26 at 10 p.m. The event will salute the graduating class of 2004 and offer music, food, giveaways, including college survival kits, T-shirts, cash and more. Over 107 tickets will be given away on Power 107 and WFXG Fox 54. Tickets will be available at the door for $10, 9 p.m.-midnight and $12 after midnight. For details and ticket info call (706) 4323559.

AUGUSTA SHOWCASE, an economic development campaign to market the area to potential business residents, will soon be underway. The Augusta Metro Chamber of Commerce is giving presentations on the effort. Contact Tammy Stout, 722-8326, ext. 2, to schedule a speaker for your club or civic group.

THE FAMILY Y IS CELEBRATING the beginning of summer by opening the pools and hosting open houses in several branches on May 22. All events open to the public. If a membership is purchased that day, the joiner’s fee will be half price. Registration for summer camps and swimming lessons will be available at all locations. Call 738-6670 .

MCDUFFIE FRIENDS OF ANIMALS holds pet adoptions each Saturday, 1-3 p.m. at Superpetz on Bobby Jones Expressway. Call 556-9090 or visit www.petfinder.com.

Out of Town

COLUMBIA COUNTY HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. and every Sunday from 1-4 p.m. at PetsMart. For more info, call 860-5020. RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL AND AUGUSTA ANIMAL RESCUE FRIENDS hold pet adoptions at Superpetz off Bobby Jones Expressway every Sunday from 1-4 p.m. Call AARF at 3644747 or visit www.aarf.net. Adoptions also held at the Richmond County Animal Control Shelter, Tues.-Sun., 1-5 p.m. Call the shelter at 790-6836. THE CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. and every Wednesday evening from 5:307:30 p.m. at the Pet Center located behind the GreenJackets Stadium on Milledge Rd. 261-PETS.

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 20, 2004

MOLLY’S MILITIA, a pet adoption agency, meets each Saturday at Superpetz in Aiken from 11 a.m.-3 p.m., PetsMart in Aiken from 36:30 p.m., and PetsMart in Augusta from 4:30-7:30 p.m. For more information, call (803) 279-7003. DOWNTOWN LUNCH DATE each Wednesday through June 30 from noon-1:30 p.m. at the Augusta Common. Will feature lunch from a local restaurant and musical entertainment. For more information, call 821-1754.

A TASTE OF DOWNTOWN AIKEN takes place May 20, 4:30-8 p.m. It is a self-guided walking tour of Aiken venues, with tickets listing the participating businesses. Event-goers may begin and

GEORGIA RENAISSANCE FESTIVAL runs through June 6 from 10:30 a.m.-6 p.m. For info, visit www.georgiarenaissancefestival.com. AT THE HIGH MUSEUM OF ART in Atlanta: “Glories of Ancient Egypt” through Sept. 19 and “African Gold From the Glassell Collection” through Sept. 19. Call (404) 733-HIGH or visit www.high.org for information. ALLIANCE THEATRE COMPANY presents “A Death in the House Next Door to Kathleen Turner’s House on Long Island” through May 30. Call the season ticket office at (404) 733-4600, the box office at (404) 733-5000 or visit www.alliancetheatre.org. THE ATLANTA JAZZ FESTIVAL takes place through May 31 in venues throughout Atlanta. Free. Visit www.atlantafestivals.com.

THE INDEPENDENT ADOPTION CENTER will hold an adoption information session on Saturday, June 5. The session will run from 9:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. at the IAC office at 3774 LaVista Road, Suite 100 in Tucker, Ga. Call (800) 385-4016 or (404) 321-6900. PARTY WITH THE ‘POSSUMS NIGHT HIKE offered by Red Top Mountain State Park and Lodge in Cartersville, June 4, 11, 18 and 25. Suitable for all ages. Bring a flashlight. No pets. Meet in the Visitor Center parking lot. Parking is $2. Call (770) 975-4226.

JUNIOR FISHING RODEO will be held at Moccasin Creek State Park in Clarkesville, June 5. Children 11 and under compete for fishing trophies near Lake Burton. Parking is $2. Call (706) 9473194.

Benefits AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL is in need of dog and cat food, cat litter and other pet items, as well as monetary donations to help pay for vaccinations. Donations accepted during regular business hours, Tues.-Sun., 1-5 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Call 790-6836 for information. SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER BLOOD DRIVES in various locations around the CSRA this month. For detailed information on locations and times to donate, visit www.shepeardblood.org. You may also call Susan Edwards at (803) 643-7996 for information on Aiken locations and Nancy Szocinski at 737-4551 for information on all other locations. AMERICAN RED CROSS BLOOD DRIVES take place at the Aiken Red Cross Blood Center on Millbrook Drive and the Augusta Red Cross Blood Center on Pleasant Home Road. The bloodmobile will also stop at various area locations this week. For a complete list, call the Aiken Blood Center at (803) 642-5180 or the Augusta Blood Center at 868-8800. ACACIA MASONIC LODGE will be holding a scholarship charity golf tournament at North Augusta Country Club Friday, May 21 with an 8:30 a.m. shotgun start. The format will be captain’s choice. You may make up your own team of four or enter individually. The price is $45 per person and includes soft drinks on the course, lunch, greens fees and cart. Separate prizes for men and women. No cash prizes. For info, call (803) 819-0704 or (803) 278-0773.

NEW FDR MUSEUM IN WARM SPRINGS, GA. at the Little White House site. For info, call (706) 655-5870 or visit www.fdr-whitehouse.org.

THE SOUTHEASTERN PARALYZED VETERANS ASSOCIATION, INC. and District 8 ABATE of Georgia have organized their second annual Memorial Day Ride for Hospitalized Veterans, a motorcycle ride to assist and honor the veterans hospitalized in both VA facilities. Call (803) 442-3877.

THE FIRST EVER WHO FEST ATLANTA features over 85 folk artists from near and far and the world’s largest moon pie. This folk art festival, honoring the late folk artist Howard Finster, will be held May 22-23 outdoors at the Spruill Gallery. Visit www.whohadada.com or call (770) 993-7660.

USC-AIKEN CONTINUING EDUCATION offers Paralegal Certificate Course, Taming the Wild Child, Conversational French, Italian,

Learning

FREE TUTORING offered at Augusta State University’s Born to Read Literacy Center, Monday-Friday from 4-8 p.m. Closed on Wednesdays. Call 733-7043 for info. SOUTHERN WESLEYAN UNIVERSITY offers various business and education degrees for adult learners. Classes are forming now. Call (803) 819-1106.

Health ANGELS HAVE WHEELS: Medicare recipients suffering from conditions such as arthritis, cardiovascular disease and respiratory disorders who have difficulty walking or propelling a standard wheelchair may be eligible to receive an electric wheelchair. For information on eligibility, call Gregory at 1-800-810-2877. CHRONIC PAIN SUPPORT GROUP meets the first Thursday of every month, 10:30-11:30 a.m. at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital. 823-5294. WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL offers a number of health programs, including fibromyalgia aquatics, water aerobics, wheelchair and equipment clinics, therapeutic massage, yoga, acupuncture, children’s medical services clinic, special needs safety seat loaner program, exercise class for breast cancer survivors and more. Call 823-5294 for information. DIET COUNSELING CLASSES for diabetics and those with high cholesterol at CSRA Partners in Health, 1220 Augusta West Parkway. Free. Call 860-3001 for class schedule. UNIVERSITY HEALTH CARE SYSTEM COMMUNITY EDUCATION holds workshops, seminars and classes on a variety of topics: Weight and nutrition, women’s health, cancer, diabetes, seniors’ health and more. Support groups and health screenings are also offered. Call 736-0847 for details. RAPE CRISIS AND SEXUAL ASSAULT SERVICES offers group counseling for victims of rape, date rape and childhood sexual abuse regardless of when the assault occurred and whether or not it was reported. Free. Call (706) 724-5200. SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER is seeking donors to prevent a blood supply shortage. To donate, call 737-4551, 8541880 or (803) 643-7996. FREE BLOOD PRESSURE CHECKS and HIV testing at RHEMA Connections, Inc. at 1829 Wrightsboro Road, Monday and Thursday evenings 5-8 p.m. Call (706) 364-6135. MELANOMA AND OTHER SKIN CANCERS presented by dermatologist Avis Yount, M.D., May 20 from 5:30-7:30 p.m. in University Hospital Dining Rooms 1-3. Call (706) 828-2522 or toll-free at (866) 869-2522. WALTON HEADACHE CENTER at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital is looking for young people, ages 12-17, to volunteer for a headache study. Volunteers should weigh between 77 and 220 pounds, have been experiencing migraines for at least one year, have an average of 3 to 8 migraines a month, be willing to write about all headaches in a diary, come in for office visits as required and be willing to take the study drug as directed by the doctor. Not all volunteers who are evaluated will qualify to take part in the study. Call (706) 823-5252. “UNDERSTANDING TRAUMATIC STRESS” seminar will be held May 25 from 6-7 p.m. in Room 2220 at the Outpatient Psychiatry Building of MCG. The seminar will focus on traumatic events, posttraumatic stress disorder, how to provide support to someone who was traumatized and how to get help, even if the trauma occurred years ago. “Stress and Anxiety Disorders” will be held May 26, and “Ethical Considerations in Mental Illness Research” will be held May 27. Call (706) 721-9566. THE CHILD AND ADOLESCENT RESPOND AND EVALUATE (CARE) PROGRAM will be the topic of a lunchtime seminar on May 21 from 11 a.m. to noon at the MCG Auditoria Center. CARE provides crisis intervention and counseling for children and families. Call (706) 721-9566.

Kids AIKEN COUNTY PONY CLUB meets weekly. Open to children of all ages who participate or are interested in equestrian sports. For more information, contact Lisa Smith at (803) 649-3399. WEEKLY STORY SESSIONS at all branch libraries. Visit www.ecgrl.public.lib.ga.us for more information. FIRST SATURDAY STORYTELLING at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum. In addition, there is a tour of the museum. Held 10 a.m.noon the first Saturday of the month. Call 724-3576. AZTEC DANCE OF MEXICO is part of the Morris Museum’s Children’s Performance Series. After learning about the dances, costumes and musical instruments of the Aztec culture, children participate in an Aztec friendship dance inspired by the powwow two-step dance from the North American Indians. Call (706) 7247501. WEE CAN SKI PROGRAM for children with special needs. Presented by the Medical College of Georgia. For info, call (706) 721-1188. PAR FITNESS will be held at the Wilson Family Y from May 22 to June 26 on Saturdays, for ages 12-18. Call 733-1030 for info. BIRD WATCHING will be taught by the Girl Scouts May 24, 10 a.m. – noon at Woodlake Park, near Windsor Spring School, and May 26 10 a.m. – noon at Spirit Creek Educational Forest in Hephzibah. Start a birding journal, make a bird feeder, learn about seeds, nesting materials and water supplies that birds need. Call (706) 774-0505.

HOME-BASED CARE available for low- to mid-income families seeking alternatives to nursing home placement. To participate, individuals must be aged 60 or up or must have disability status as defined by Social Security Administration guidelines. Applicants must also meet program income guidelines. For more information, contact the CSRA Area Agency on Aging at 210-2018 or 1-888922-4464. WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL offers Arthritis Aquatics and People With Arthritis Can Exercise. Call 823-5294 for information. SENIOR VOLUNTEERS NEEDED for the new visitor center at Phinizy Swamp Nature Center to greet visitors, hand out literature and sell merchandise. Volunteers are asked to commit one Saturday or Sunday per month, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. or 1-5 p.m. Call 828-2109 for information. AIKEN PARKS AND RECREATION offers a multitude of programs for senior adults, including bridge clubs, fitness classes, canasta clubs, line dancing, racquetball, arts and crafts, tennis and excursions. For more information, call (803) 642-7631. THE ACADEMY FOR LIFELONG LEARNING offers lectures, courses, field trips, discussion groups and community information seminars on a variety of topics to mature adults. For more information, contact the USC-Aiken Office of Continuing Education at (803) 641-3288. THE SENIOR CITIZENS COUNCIL OF GREATER AUGUSTA AND THE CSRA offers a variety of classes, including ballroom dance, aerobics, quilting, tai chi, Spanish, line dancing, bowling, bridge, computers, drama club/readers theatre and pinochle. For dates and times, phone 826-4480. SENIORNET provides adults age 50 and over education for and access to computer technology. Many different courses are offered. Contact the USC-Aiken Continuing Education Office at (803) 641-3563.

CAR SEAT INSPECTIONS presented by SAFE KIDS of East Central Georgia on June 2 at Babies R Us. To schedule an inspection call (706) 651-9300. On June 4, inspections will be held at MCG Health System. Call (706) 721-KIDS.

SENIOR VOLUNTEERS NEEDED for new docent training program at the historic home of Nicholas Ware. Learn the fascinating history of Ware’s Folly and the families who lived there. All interested should call 722-5495.

STORYTIME IN THE GARDENS will take place tuesdays at 4 p.m. in May in Hopeland Gardens. for more information, call (803) 6427631..

THE SENIOR CITIZENS COUNCIL offers many life enrichment programs for senior citizens such as warm-up/resistance exercises and low-impact dance aerobics Monday, Wednesday and Friday; quilting classes Monday and Friday; line dancing Monday and Wednesday; Spanish Monday and Thursday and more. Call (706) 826-4480.

Seniors UNIVERSITY SENIORS CLUB has moved to a new location at 4106 Columbia Rd. University Seniors Club offers health screenings, support groups, health education classes and social activities. For more information, call 868-3231 or 1-800-413-6652.

FAM E'S

GEORG

H AL

F OL

BOTANICAL GARDENS

733-0417

Sports THE AUGUSTA VOLLEYBALL ASSOCIATION is looking for new members. For more information, visit www.augustavolleyball.com.

Garden Memberships Just Got Even Better! More Visits, More Savings, More Fun!

NEW FOR MEMBERS: Free Admission to over 50 Museums Nationwide INCLUDING 8 Statewide Museums like the Morris Museum of Art in Augusta, and the Atlanta History Center! Membership also Includes Free Admission at Riverbanks Zoo and Gardens in Columbia, SC; Atlanta, Botanical Gardens PLUS…Free or Discounted Admission at over 150 Arboreta, Gardens & Conservatories. Garden Reciprocal Admission List available online at www.gghf.org

Core Benefits Of All Memberships For Complete Information About ALL the Benefits Available to Each Membership Investment Level Visit www.gghf.org

Membership Opportunities Individual & Family & Photographer Investment Levels From: $35 - $250

Corporate & Non-Profit Investment Levels From: $250 - $1,000

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The Georgia Golf Hall of Fame's Botanical Gardens is proud to be a members of: American Horticultural Society, Southeast Reciprocal Membership Program, American Association of Botanical Gardens and Arboreta

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METRO SPIRIT - MAY 20, 2004

Membership Investments Benefit the Programs and Maintenance of the Botanical Gardens.

Join Now and Get 16 Months of Membership for the Price of 12!

THE AUGUSTA RUGBY CLUB is always looking for new members. Teams are available for women and men. No experience necessary. Practice is Tuesday and Thursday nights, 7-9 p.m. at Richmond Academy. For more information, call Don Zuehlke, 4952043, or e-mail augustarfc@yahoo.com. You may also visit www.augustarugby.org.

WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL AMPUTEE CLINIC for new and experienced prosthetic users meets the third Thursday of each month, 1-3 p.m. 722-1244. THE CANOE & KAYAK CLUB OF AUGUSTA meets the fourth Tuesday of each month at 7 p.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. For info, visit www.ckca.homestead.com or call (706) 860-5432.

THE INAUGURAL GREATER AUGUSTA CYCLISMO will be held May 22-23, as the third round of the newly formed Georgia Cup cycling race series. Events will kick off at 8 a.m. May 22 with a time trial around Lake Olmstead. Races continue Saturday evening with the return of a twilight criterium. Starting at 3:30 p.m., riders will race through the streets of downtown Augusta, starting and finishing at Augusta Common. And that’s only the beginning. Call (706) 722-8326.

THE CSRA LINUX USERS GROUP meets 6 p.m. every fourth Tuesday at Border’s Books and Music in the Target shopping center. E-mail augustalinux@comcast.net or call (706) 790-8439. AUGUSTA GEM AND MINERAL SOCIETY meets every third Friday at 7:30 p.m. in the Georgia Military College Building on Davis Rd. For more information, call 547-0178.

ROCK-CLIMBING CLASSES are offered in the Carolina Bay Nature Preserve off Price Avenue in Aiken. There are also drop-ins on Fridays from 5:30-6:30 p.m. Call 642-7631.

JOHN BIRCH SOCIETY OF AUGUSTA civic advocacy meeting every third Saturday from 10 a.m.-12 noon at Friedman Branch Library. For more information, contact Tonio at 373-3772.

Volunteer

PASSIONATE ART COLLECTORS OF AUGUSTA holds their bimonthly meeting on May 20 at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum, 7 p.m. This month’s guest speaker will be Robert W. Bazemore, artist and chief preparator of the Morris Museum of Art. The topic will be The Art of Hanging Art. For info, call 724-3576.

FORTE INTERNATIONAL EXCHANGE ASSOCIATION is in need of local host families for high school international exchange students for the 2004-2005 school year. For more information, contact Tracy Klemens, (678) 358-5890.

AUGUSTA AREA SURVIVORS OF SUICIDE will meet May 23 at 3 p.m. at Advent Lutheran Church, 3232 Washington Road. Call 863-6785.

PHINIZY SWAMP NATURE PARK VISITOR CENTER is in need of volunteers to greet visitors, hand out literature and sell merchandise. Volunteers must commit to one Saturday or Sunday each month, from either 9 a.m.-1 p.m. or 1-5 p.m. 828-2109.

THE AIKEN COUNTY DEMOCRATIC PARTY will hold its monthly general membership meeting May 27 at 7 p.m. at the Aiken County Council Building. Guest speaker will be Don Fowler from Columbia, S.C., former Democratic National Committee chairman. Call (803) 641-4756.

SOUTHERNCARE HOSPICE SERVICE is currently seeking volunteers to perform a variety of tasks, including relieving caregivers, reading to patients and running errands. Training is included. For additional information, contact Lisa Simpson, (803) 463-9888 or 869-0205. CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY NEW VOLUNTEER ORIENTATION PROGRAM the first and third Saturday of every month at the Pet Center, 425 Wood St. Orientation starts at 11 a.m. Volunteers under 18 years of age must have a parent or guardian present during orientation and while volunteering. Call 261-PETS for information. THE KITTY ORTIZ DE LEON FOUNDATION needs volunteers to help promote organ donor awareness. For more information, contact Cassandra Reed or Espy De Leon at 394-0838 or kodfoundation@aol.com. GOLDEN HARVEST FOOD BANK needs volunteers during the day, from 8:30 a.m.-4 p.m. Monday-Friday, to help sort donated products and assist in their agency shopping area. Help is needed year-round. If you are able to lift 25 pounds, can commit to at least 3-4 hours per month and would like to help fight hunger in the Augusta area, contact Laurie Roper at 736-1199, ext. 208.

Weekly OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS meets every Sunday night, 7:30 p.m., at Holy Trinity Lutheran Church in North Augusta. For more information, call 278-5156.

WHO FEST ATALANTA, HONORING THE LATE HOWARD FINSTER, WILL FEATURE THE WORKS OF OVER 85 FOLK ARTISTS AND WILL BE HELD MAY 22-23 ON THE GROUNDS OF THE SPRUILL GALLERY. (770) 993-7660. UNITED HOSPICE OF AUGUSTA is in need of volunteers to support terminally ill patients. Scheduling and training times are flexible. Call Donna Harrell at 650-1522 for information. THE ARTISTS’ CONSERVATORY THEATRE OF THE CSRA is looking for volunteer board members, actors and production crew. Call 556-9134 or e-mail act@theatermail.net. COURT APPOINTED SPECIAL ADVOCATE PROGRAM VOLUNTEER TRAINING: The CASA program is looking for volunteers 21 years of age and older to advocate for abused and neglected children in the juvenile court system. Volunteers need no experience and will be provided with specialized training. Call 737-4631.

AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL: New volunteer orientation is scheduled the first Saturday of each month at 1 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Schedule subject to change; call 790-6836 to verify dates and times.

CSRA GREYHOUND ADOPTIONS needs volunteers to foster retired racing greyhounds. Foster homes must have a fenced yard. All expenses are paid by CSRA Greyhound Adoptions. Call Sam Fulton at 854-0098.

RICHMOND COUNTY DEPARTMENT OF FAMILY AND CHILDREN SERVICES is seeking dependable foster parents to provide temporary housing, care and support for Georgia’s children. For more information, contact L. Lewis at 721-3718.

AUGUSTA FARMERS MARKET ON BROAD STREET needs volunteers to manage the Main Street Augusta booth. Volunteers at this booth assist the market’s vendors by scheduling future dates at the market, receiving vendors’, payments and passing out literature about downtown development. The Farmers Market also needs demonstrators and volunteers to help set up and tear down the market, and demonstrators. Call. (706) 722-7245.

MENTORS AND VOLUNTEERS needed to provide support for MACH Academy at the May Park Community Center and the Fleming Tennis Center. Education, tutoring and technology sessions held Monday-Thursday, 3-6 p.m. at each location. Tennis instruction and fitness activities held Monday-Thursday, 6-7 p.m. at May Park and Monday-Tuesday, 6-8 p.m., Friday, 6-8 p.m. and Saturday, 2-5 p.m. at the Fleming Center. 796-5046. AUGUSTA/CSRA HABITAT FOR HUMANITY needs volunteers at ReStore, Walton Way and Tenth Street, to assist with receiving donations of new and used building and home improvement materials and warehousing them for sale to the public. The store is open Thursday-Saturday year-round. If you can commit eight or more hours per month, contact Steve Buck, 364-7637.

WORLD HERITAGE is seeking families, couples or single parents who are adventurous, fun-loving, responsible and caring who are interested in hosting a high-school-aged foreign exchange student. Call (800) 888-9040.

Meetings THE METRO AUGUSTA FRISBEE DOG CLUB to begin meeting the last Sunday of the month. Call (706) 210-8577. Dogs and owners welcome.

AUGUSTA SKI AND OUTING CLUB meets the first Tuesday of each month. Call (803) 279-6186. AUGUSTA NEWCOMERS CLUB holds a coffee meeting the first Tuesday of every month. Call (706) 650-1400.

NAR-ANON FAMILY GROUP for relatives and friends of drug abusers. No dues or fees. The group meets Mondays at 7 p.m. Call for location. For information, contact Josie, 414-5576, or Lionel, 860-0302. GAMBLERS ANONYMOUS meets Thursdays, 7:30 p.m., in the basement of Fairview Presbyterian Church. Call 1-800-313-0170. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: For more information and a meeting schedule, call 860-8331.

THE AUGUSTA CAVEMASTERS is the regional club for persons interested in cave exploration and conservation. They meet the first Thursday of every month at the Warren Road Community Center on Warren Road. Call (803) 278-2751.

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS: If you want to stop using any drugs, there is a way out. Help is available at no cost. Call the Narcotics Anonymous help line for information and meeting schedules at 855-2419.

MEDITATION & BUDDHISM meetings through June at the UU Church of Augusta, Walton Way Extension, Tuesdays from 7-8:30 p.m. (No class 6/1.) Call (803) 256-0150 or visit www.MeditationInSouthCarolina.org. WOMEN ON WHEELS, the Georgia-Lina Chapter, meets the second Tuesday of each month. Dinner is at 6:30 p.m., with the meeting beginning at 7:30. Women on Wheels is a women’s motorcycle club which meets for recreation, education, support, recognition and to promote a positive image of motorcycling. Location changes monthly. For info, call (706) 855-7375.

SEXAHOLICS ANONYMOUS, a 12-step program of recovery from addiction to obsessive/compulsive sexual thoughts and behaviors, meets Wednesdays at 8 p.m. at Christ Church Unity, 2301 Central Ave. Call 339-1204 and leave first name and phone number; a confidential reply is assured. AUGUSTA TOASTMASTERS CLUB #326 meets each Thursday at 7:30 p.m. at Advent Lutheran Church in Martinez. Learn communication and leadership skills. For more information, call 868-8431.

THE DANCES OF UNIVERSAL PEACE held the first Saturday of every month, 7-9 p.m., at the Unitarian Church of Augusta, honor the religious traditions of the world through song and movement. Call (803) 643-0460 for more information. “ROOTS OF GARDENING” SERIES presented by Georgia Golf Hall of Fame’s Botanical Gardens. The ABC’s of Planting is from 6:307:30 p.m. May 20, June 17, July 15, Aug. 19, Sept. 16 and Oct. 21. For info, call (706) 724-4443. AUGUSTA BRAIN INJURY SUPPORT GROUP meets the second Thursday of every month, 6 p.m., at Walton West TLC. Brain injury survivors and their family members and caregivers are invited to attend. 737-9300.

GUIDELINES: Public service announcements are listed in this section without charge at the discretion of the editor. Announcements must be received by Monday at noon and will be included as space permits. Send to Events, Metro Spirit, P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914 or fax (706) 733-6663. You may also e-mail listings to rhonda.jones@metrospirit.com or andy.stokes@metrospirit.com. Listings cannot be taken over the phone.

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Trampolines With ENCLOSURES To complete your Playground, check out the Rubberized Mulch & Timbers.

Augusta-Richmond County Civic Center Complex Upcoming Events

May 22 - July 13 Columbia County Graduation *

May 22

Richmond County Baccalaureate * May 23 Richmond County Graduation

May 25

Somore & Friends (Comedy Show) •

May 29

Southern Classic Feis (Irish) •

June 12

Augusta Technical College Graduation • July 13 For information call 724-2400

* Arena • Bell

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THANK YOU, AUGUSTA! Thanks to the many supporters of the American Cancer Society Relay For Life. This year’s Relay on May 14 - 15 was a huge success. We’d like to thank the fantastic teams, our dedicated sponsors (see below), the hardworking committee and the many cancer survivors.

Presenting:

Augusta Oncology Associates Medical Oncology Associates MCG Owens & Minor University Hospital

Sponsors of the 2004 American Cancer Society Relay For Life Are:

Platinum: John Deere Terry Wicks Events & More Doctor’s Hospital Sam’s Club Metro Spirit

Gold: Atlanta Gas & Light Monsanto Greater Augusta Assoc. of Realtors Silver: Kennametal IPG Very Vera Club Car

1-800-NOTGUILTY E.H. Young Attorney

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 20, 2004

Together We Can Make a Difference!

www.augustadui.com

Bomb Epic

Hollywood

Flix Must-See

Boring

Comedy Sleeper Oscar Pick Director Stars This Rocks Famous Silly

Awesome

Action

Barbershop 2: Back in Business (PG-13) — Ice Cube runs the roots-deep Calvin Jr.’s Barbershop on Chicago’s South Side. Again, more talk rises than hair falls, though the scissors team from the 2002 hit has a new worry: a slick rival across the way. The best laughs come from Cedric the Entertainer as Eddie, with a broad beam and a ‘do to match. Eddie isn’t quite so rife with the riffs that won the first movie a little notoriety, but gets into a fine lip-off with the big beautician from down the street (Queen Latifah, offering an appetizer of her upcoming “Beauty Shop”). As long as it is simply being a barbershop, the gab has a razor-cut charm. Running time: 1 hr., 40 mins. (Elliott) !!1/2 stars.

Bobby Jones: Stroke of Genius (PG) — Rowdy Herrington’s movie further enshrines golf-

Universal

ing legend Bobby Jones. An exalted amateur, he retired at 28 after winning 13 majors, including the only one-year “grand slam” (1930). He is played by two cute kids and then, grown,

Breakin’ All the Rules (PG-13) –

w “Ne

After Quincy (Jamie Foxx) is dumped by his fiancée Helen (Bianca Lawson) at their engagement party, his life reaches an emotional low. He quits his job and begins writing a letter to Helen to explain his feelings. The letter snowballs into a book, which is quickly published and becomes a runaway bestseller. When Quincy’s friend Evan (Morris Chestnutt) decides to end things with his girlfriend Nicky (Gabrielle Union), he persuades his friend, the expert, to do the deed. The plot twist is that, in the process of delivering the message to Nicky, whom he has never met, Quincy somehow remains anonymous as to his connection to Evan and ends up falling for her. The Butterfly Effect (R) — As Evan Treborn, Ashton Kutcher is a floppy fishie with a hook in his mouth, and that hook is the script. Seems that Evan’s dad is a deranged psycho with a “most unusual” brain disorder who, during the boy’s visit to the ward, tries to throttle and kill him. As Evan grows up, there are other lurid milestones. Evan has a breakthrough: Reading his old diaries, the pages quiver and this lets him mentally travel back to a past he can now change. In the middle, gulping like a caught bass, is Kutcher, aching with sincerity and technique you could call inadequate except that no technique would be adequate. The poor guy is caught, stuffed and mounted. Cast: Ashton Kutcher, Amy Smart, Elden Henson, Kevin Schmidt, Eric Stoltz, William Lee Scott. Running time: 1 hr., 53 mins. (Elliott) !

make an old (1950) Clifton Webb comedy without Clifton Webb is a serious loss, but getting Steve Martin — a vanilla-shaked version of Webb’s snappish fussiness — is not a bad idea for “Cheaper By the Dozen.” He’s engaging as Tom Baker, football coach and father of 12 kids. Bonnie Hunt plays the wife and mom, Kate, looking awfully good despite the wear. The Bakers have a great life in a small town where Tom coaches, but he’s hired to go to a bigger team outside Chicago, and the only

York M i n u te

”

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 20, 2004

Cheaper by the Dozen (PG) — To

rks wo am e r D

Muniz, who is 18, playing 16 and at moments looks ripe to be 40, is agent Banks, a CIA operative on a covert mission to Britain. Kevin Allen directed like a giddy tourist, and the menu of Saturday daytime entertainment is served a bit more sharply than by the last “Spy Kids” romp. Cast: Frankie Muniz, Anthony Anderson, Hannah Spearritt, Cynthia Stevenson, Keith David. Running time: 1 hr., 24 mins. (Elliott) !!

looks on the sad side of 30 in the gaunt visage of James Caviezel. There are some lovely courses, swell putts, drives where the camera flies with the ball, but the story is 18 holes of crisis: runner-up crisis, temper crisis, pressure crisis, varicose veins crisis, marital crisis ... “Fore!” haunted by “Bore!” the film seldom gives much sense of the game’s pleasures or even the acute seductiveness of its agonies. Cast: James Caviezel, Jeremy Northam, Malcolm McDowell, Claire Forlani, Aidan Quinn. 1 hr., 52 mins. (Elliott) !!

RATINGS !!!! — Excellent

Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London (PG) — Frankie

Funny

Not Bad

” 2 k

Drama

Masterpiece

“ S hr

Lame

story is the stress on the family from their move. The film is simple and obvious and plastic, but diverting. Designed to be fluff, it’s fluffy all the time. Cast: Steve Martin, Bonnie Hunt, Piper Perabo, Hilary Duff, Richard Jenkins. Running time: 1 hr., 34 mins. (Elliott) !!

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (PG) — Another Disney dinky, turning the dreams of girls into piffle. Lindsay Lohan pitches her pretty charm like mad as “drama queen” Lola, who leaves New York for New Jersey (looks like a section of Burbank), wins a worshipful friend, dazzles a boy, squelches a snarky rival and stars in a rock version of “Pygmalion” full of “American Idol” razzle. Wasted rather depressingly are Carol Kane, Glenne Headly and other talents, treated as confetti at Lohan’s feet. Cast: Lindsay Lohan, Carol Kane, Glenne Headly. Running time: 1 hr., 34 mins. (Elliott) ! Dawn of the Dead (R) — Thanks to a plague, the United States is taken over by zombies. It pretty much follows the rules found in the “Zombie Codebook”: If killed by a zombie, one must return as one. Once turned into a zombie, one must seek fresh blood. One must also go to the mall. (To the mall?) The good guys, for some reason, think that the mall is a pretty neat place to be too. Needless to say, forces collide, with the good guys deciding to make a run for it to a (supposedly) safe island. But first, they have to get through a sea of the undead. Based upon the 1979 movie “Dawn of the Dead.” Cast: Sarah Polley, Ving Rhames, Mekhi Phifer, Michael Barry, Linday Booth, Ty Burrell, Jayne Eastwood, Michael Kellym, Jake Weber, Kevin Zegers, Tom Savini. 50 First Dates (PG-13) — Henry (Adam Sandler) is a vet at an aquarium in Hawaii and a serial seducer of island visitors, his policy being love ‘em and let ‘em leave.

!!!— Worthy

!! — Mixed

! — Poor

True love, of course, lies in wait. At a picturesque diner, he sees Lucy (Drew Barrymore), and it’s love at first sight. They hit it off wonderfully, but when they meet at the diner the next morning, she has no idea who he is. Henry learns that Lucy, following an accident the year before, has that favorite Hollywood malady, amnesia. The romantic aspects benefit from being contrasted to the comedy, which is oafish in the extreme. Oh, well — you can always look at the beautiful island scenery. Cast: Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore. (Britton) !! The Girl Next Door (R) — This comedy begins implausibly. Matthew (Emile Hirsch) is the shy, smart president of his senior class, even though only some other nerds seem to like him. It gets more implausible, as Matt voyeurizes the fabulous new blonde neighbor, Danielle (Elisha Cuthbert), who then forces him to strip for her outdoors, and they begin to forge a sexy mutual regard. In rapid plot time, Matt and his co-nerds (amusing Chris Marquette and Paul Dano) are concocting a porn film to pay his way to Georgetown U., one that will slyly subvert the senior prom. What, really, is this thing? One of the tawdriest silly jokers of the year, or one of the few mainstream comedies to have a pinch of audacity. In fact it is both, mixed implausibly but somewhat entertainingly. Cast: Emile Hirsch, Elisha Cuthbert, Nicholas Downs, Timothy Olyphant, James Remar, Chris Marquette. Running time: 1 hr., 34 mins. (Elliott) !!

The Haunted Mansion (PG) — Another movie based on a ride at Disneyland, again featuring cheesy, story-altering references to the rides, as well as plots about ghosts and curses. Eddie Murphy is a workaholic realestate agent and a smooth-talking sleazebag. A promising real-estate deal turns out to be more than he bargains for, and his eagerness to scope out a house on the way to a family vacation leaves his entire family stranded at a creepy,

0— Not worthy

Julianne Moore and Pierce Brosnan are battling but loving divorce attorneys in New York. They meet cute, and treat the law as a form of repartee. They first get into bed together by getting drunk on Cuban booze, then rebound into scratchy bickering as if sex had barely registered. Of course, they are falling in love, and you can find the sporty delays, as the plot bobs and weaves, cleverly amusing or compulsively strained. What dampens the breeziness is the slightly mothballed feeling that this has all been done, before and better. Cast: Julianne Moore, Pierce Brosnan, Parker Posey, Frances Fisher, Michael Sheen. Running time: 1 hr., 45 mins. (Elliott) !!1/2

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (PG-13) — lasts 200 minutes, and some of those are long minutes. The last 20 can feel like an hour, for clearly creator Peter Jackson didn’t wish to let his saga go. Bernard Hill, Viggo Mortensen and Orlando Bloom are impressive fighters, and Cate Blanchett makes a gorgeous Galadriel. This is posing, not acting. Sir Ian McKellen acts very well as noble Gandalf, but lines about heart, courage and

My Baby’s Daddy (PG-13) — A trio of partying bachelors from the ‘hood

n Helsing” “Va

must curb their wild ways when they discover all three of their girlfriends are pregnant at the same time. Cast: Eddie Griffin, Anthony Anderson, Method Man, Bai Ling, Paula Jai Parker.

Universal

New York Minute (PG) —

The Olsen twins finally break big in this, their first nonstraight-to-video movie. Billed as a “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” for teenie-boppers, the plot centers around the plans of Roxy and Jane, two enterprising young girls, to escape their parents and spend a day around Manhattan. Predictably, the title of the movie is also about the same amount of time any selfrespecting moviegoer would spend watching this shameless vehicle to promote the impending milestone of the Olsen twins’ 18th birthdays. Eugene Levy co-stars in a thinly-

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risky, passionate treatment of Christ’s last 12 hours, long on fear and gore and agony, devils (even Satan), sadistic and/or guilty Romans, hatefully smug Jewish priests and, above all, the tormented face of Jim Caviezel as Jesus. Gibson uses heavy, hackneyed devices and naive tactics; he thinks a few brief flashbacks to benign gospel episodes can offset and illuminate the relentless flood of anguish and bloodshed, and he comes close to making this a rite of faithbased sadism. It is up to believers to decide if Gibson’s Jesus is their own, but since no actor can truly act the Son of God spiritually, Caviezel becomes a sacrificial offering. Cast: Jim Caviezel. Running time: 2 hrs. 7 mins. (Elliott) !!

20th Century Fox

Laws of Attraction (PG-13) —

The Passion of the Christ (R) — Mel Gibson’s

ed, the movie is vacant of style and aggressively lame. You might pine for the old National Lampoon road comedies. Why do a black version of those formula pictures that is softer, cornier, more vanilla at the core? Coming so soon after the dismal (but more amusing) “Never Die Alone,” this marks a bad season for black cinema. But “Johnson Family Vacation” has nothing to do with cinema, and nothing of value to do with black. Cast: Cedric the Entertainer, Bow Wow, Vanessa Williams, Shannon Elizabeth, Solange Knowles. Running time: 1 hr., 35 mins. (Elliott) !

veiled attempt to pay his rent this month. Cast: Ashley Olsen, Mary-Kate Olsen, Eugene Levy.

ire” F On

Johnson Family Vacation (PG13) — Comedy is long; laughter is short. Scarcely direct-

fate make him Lord Fortune Cookie. “Lord” is all epic, all the time. Jackson loves battles, which means hurling dense masses of mostly computerized fighters at one another. If the climax battle this time is more overpowering than the Helm’s Deep boggler in “Two Towers,” does it truly deepen the story? Maybe it is just more spectacle, as climaxes are stacked high and then the epic winds down with Elijah Woods as Frodo (now mildly matured) exiting sweetly, his destiny done. Cast: Ian McKellen, Elijah Wood, Cate Blanchett, Viggo Mortensen, Ian Holm, Orlando Bloom, Sean Astin. Running time: 3 hrs., 20 mins. !! Man on Fire (R) — Denzel Washington is Creasy, a veteran pro killer turned alcoholic and drifter. His old black-ops pal (Christopher Walken) gets him a Mexico City job guarding the precious Lupita “Pita” Ramos (Dakota Fanning), bilingual child of an American mom (Radha Mitchell) and rich Mexican father (Marc Anthony). We know Pita will be kidnapped by vile creeps, that the cops will prove corrupt or hapless, and that after taking bullets in his upper torso, Creasy will soon be on his feet as a revenge demon once a ransom plan goes wrong. If Creasy threw a snivelling thug on top of an Aztec altar and cut his heart out, it wouldn’t much surprise us. Nor does the “surprise” twist at the end. Cast: Denzel Washington, Dakota Fanning, Marc Anthony, Christopher Walken, Giancarlo Giannini, Mickey Rourke. Running time: 2 hrs., 10 mins. (Elliott) !1/2 Mean Girls (PG-13) — As Cady Heron, Lindsay Lohan is the new girl at a North Shore high school, fresh and remarkably adult after years in Africa with her parents. Cady discovers the school Balkanized among cliques, who hurl remarks rather than grenades. Cady, who seems haunted by the survival habits and water-hole imperatives of Old Africa, determines to join them. She’s pretty enough, even pliable enough, to win the favor of Regina (Rachel McAdams), leader of the tiara twinks, aka “The Plastics,” and though there is a plan for Cady to subvert the group and undermine Regina, she blends in with almost lobotomized ease. This is one of the turn-on-a-dime plot comedies that has it both ways. “Mean Girls” has a wee plastic heart. And parts of it are quite funny. Cast: Lindsay Lohan, Rachel McAdams, Tim Meadows, Tina Fey, Lizzy Caplan. Running time: 1 hr., 35 mins. (Elliott) !!1/2

Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (PG) — Scooby and the gang are back for another adventure. This time, they’re on the trail of an anonymous masked villain who’s wreaking havoc on Coolsville with a machine that spits out monsters. All signs point to Old Man Wickles... Cast: Freddie Prinze Jr., Sarah Michelle Gellar, Linda Cardellini, Peter Boyle, Alicia Silverstone, Seth Green, Matthew Lillard. Secret Window (R) — Writer Mort Rainey (Johnny Depp), traumatized by divorce from Amy (Maria Bello), who's taken up with her plot device of a lover (Timothy Hutton), is ready to become jellied putty for a grim rustic who trails Southern Gothic literary vines. John Shooter (John Turturro) shows up claiming that Rainey plagiarized a story of his, ruined the ending and deserves cruel payment. How, really, do you go wrong with actors like Turturro, Depp, Bello, Hutton and (as a private eye) Charles S. Dutton? By using them as spits for King's brand of corn, roasted and then shoved down the gullets of the gullible. Cast: Johnny Depp, Maria Bello, John Turturro, Len Cariou, Timothy Hutton, Charles S. Dutton. (Elliott) !! Shrek 2 (PG) – The algae-colored ogre is back, and having already defeated Lord Farquaad’s armies and won the affection of Princess Fiona, Shrek must now face a greater challenge: pleasing his new in-laws. It turns out that Fiona’s family is royalty in a far-away land and Fiona’s present state as an ogre is the result of a magic spell gone wrong. Naturally, Fiona’s blue-blooded family rejects Shrek solely on outward appearance, vowing to have their daughter cured of her condition and away from Shrek. Cast: The voices of Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, Antonio Banderas, John Cleese, Julie Andrews, Rupert Everett. 13 Going on 30 (PG-13) — Shana Dowdeswell plays Jenna Rink, hitting 13, bright and shy, eager to run with the sarcastic fox pack at school. On Jenna's birthday, they inflict a wretched trick on her and the pudgy boy who yearns to date her. After a sprinkle of magic dust, she is suddenly about 30 in New York City, a rising novice editor at chickchic Poise. And Jenna is now Jennifer Garner. The cute and pudgy boy is now Mark Ruffalo, still cute, less pudgy, treating his talent like a warm puppy. Weirdly, her new chum is her main rival at the magazine, the former queen of the fox pack now become Judy Greer. Enjoy the actors, lightly, but suspend all thought. Cast: Jennifer Garner, Mark Ruffalo, Kathy Baker, Judy Greer, Phil Reeves. Running time: 1 hr., 32 mins. (Elliott) !!

“ M a

cobweb-ridden Louisiana mansion with a curse. The result is a movie that, while consistently amusing, plays like a hackneyed effort to stretch a few minutes of ride into a coherent, hour-and-a-half story. Cast: Eddie Murphy. Running time: 1 hr., 39 mins. (Fu) !!

Troy (R) – Orlando Bloom is Paris, Prince of Troy, who falls in love with Helen, Queen of Troy (Diane Kruger). However, Helen is wed to King Menelaus (Brendan Gleeson,) whose brother, the power-hungry Agamemnon, uses Helen and Troy’s infidelity to expand his empire by invading Troy. Brad Pitt is Achilles, the powerful warrior ally to Agamemnon who represents a worthy adversary to Priam, (Peter O’Toole) King of Troy’s defending army. Twisted (R) — Ashley Judd plays tough San Francisco cop Jessica Shepard, recently promoted to homicide detective. Jessica picks up men in bars, then has fast, rough sex that has an aura of foreplay for murder. Sure enough, a series of her studs turn up dead. And Jessica, who is prone to drinking red wine in quantity, yanking her trigger temper and then "hearing voices," becomes a key suspect in her first murder case. Just as the male victims seem to have "disposable" stenciled on their foreheads, to go with the cigarette burns on their hands, so does the film appear to carry the label Video Bin: Recycle Fast. Cast: Ashley Judd, Samuel L. Jackson, Andy Garcia, David Strathairn, Russell Wong. Running time: 1 hr., 37 mins. (Elliott) !! Van Helsing (PG-13) — Hugh Jackman is Gabriel Van Helsing, the world’s greatest and most successful monster hunter. He’s sent to Transylvania to help Anna Valerious (Beckinsale) battle a dream-team monster army. Upon his speedy arrival, he finds that Count Dracula has recruited every monster from history, leaving none for a possible sequel. Cast: Hugh Jackman, Kate Beckinsale, Richard Roxburgh, David Wenham, Will Kempe. You Got Served (PG-13) — Elgin and David are best friends who are serious about their hobby: urban street dancing. When another town’s top group challenges them to a dancing competition, the boys must create new, cutting-edge moves to stay in the game. Cast: Marques Houston, Omari Grandberry, Jennifer Freeman, Jarrell Houston, Dreux Frederic. —Capsules compiled from movie reviews written by David Elliott, film critic for The San Diego Union-Tribune and other staff writers.

Biker Sunday - May 23 - 11 AM & 6:30 PM Blessing of the Bikes - Special Guest: Rev. Duane Blue Duane Blue hid his feelings of loneliness and guilt by turning to drugs. Motorcycles and drug activity consumed Duane's life from ages 16-21. Finally, lonely and afraid, he turned his life over to Jesus Christ.

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flix reel time

Brad Pitt’s Impending Mid-Life Crisis By Joey Berlin

filming, the dramatic section and the fighting section. I remember days when you had a set with a thousand people filming on this enormous sand dune, and then three miles away, you had another thousand filming on another set. He was an amazing commander-in-chief. I don’t know how he kept track of it all. It was absolutely daunting. We were in arduous conditions, people were getting heatstroke and he never waffled. And, right, he never lost sight of the human side of the story. Q: Who came up with the amazing look for your character’s fighting style? A: Simon Crane choreographed all our fight scenes. He also did “Braveheart” and “Saving Private Ryan,” and I think he upped the ante here. He puts great thought into the story and drama within the individual fights. He was really adamant about us slowing down the fights so that you understand the “chess” of the fight, that every move is considered a deathblow and every parry is something to block that deathblow. It was more ballet-like. Q: How tough was it to move around wearing that armor? A: The armor was actually nice. Beyond being beautiful, the suits were really worked so that we could actually move in them. Q: So the armor was comfortable. But were you uncomfortable doing those brief nude scenes? A: Heh, no. I like being nude. The Greeks were naked all the time and I thought we had to have some semblance of that. My wife was all for it, so there you go! Q: You and your wife often turn up in the supermarket tabloids. Does it still feel weird to see yourselves in them? A: It was weird for the first few years. I just gave up on trying to get some truth and understanding from the tabloids. It just gets in the way of living your life. They either build you up better than you are or tear you down. It’s very seldom on the nose. Q: Now the tabloids are saying that the two of you want to start a family soon. A: That’s a safe bet.

Troy (R)12:45, 1:30, 2:15, 4:15, 5:00, 5:45,

Movies Good 5/21 – 5/27 Shrek (PG) Fri-Sat: 9:45, 10:05, 10:35, 11:05, 11:25, 11:45, 12:05, 12:25, 12:45, 1:05, 1:25, 1:45, 2:05, 2:25, 2:45, 3:05, 3:25, 3:45, 4:05, 4:25, 4:45, 5:05, 5:25, 5:45, 6:05, 6:25, 6:40, 7:05, 7:25, 7:45, 8:05, 8:25, 8:45, 9:45, 10:05, 10:25, 10:45, 11:05, 12:00, 12:30, 12:45; Sun: 9:45, 10:05, 10:35, 11:05, 11:25, 11:45, 12:05, 12:25, 12:45, 1:05, 1:25, 1:45, 2:05, 2:25, 2:45, 3:05, 3:25, 3:45, 4:05, 4:25, 4:45, 5:05, 5:25, 5:45, 6:05, 6:25, 6:40, 7:05, 7:25, 7:45, 8:05, 8:25, 8:45, 9:45, 10:05, 10:25, 10:45, 11:05; Mon-Thur: 11:05, 11:25, 11:45, 12:05, 12:25, 12:45, 1:05, 1:25, 1:45, 2:05, 2:25, 2:45, 3:05, 3:25, 3:45, 4:05, 4:25, 4:45, 5:05, 5:25, 5:45, 6:05, 6:25, 6:40, 7:05, 7:25, 7:45, 8:05, 8:25, 8:45, 9:45, 10:05, 10:25, 10:45, 11:05, Breakin’ All the Rules (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 10:30, 11:00, 12:45, 1:15, 2:55, 3:20, 5:10, 5:40, 7:20, 7:50, 9:30, 10:00, 11:40; Sun: 10:30, 11:00, 12:45, 1:15, 2:55, 3:20, 5:10, 5:40, 7:20, 7:50, 9:30, 10:00; Mon-Thur: 12:45, 1:15, 2:55, 3:20, 5:10, 5:40, 7:20, 7:50, 9:30, 10:00 Troy (R) Fri-Sat: 11:10, 11:40, 12:25, 12:55, 2:50, 3:20, 3:55, 4:35, 6:30, 7:00, 7:40, 8:10, 8:55, 9:35, 10:10, 10:40, 11:10, 11:40; SunThur: 11:10, 11:40, 12:25, 12:55, 2:50, 3:20, 3:55, 4:35, 6:30, 7:00, 7:40, 8:10, 8:55, 9:35, 10:10, 10:40, 11:10 New York Minute (PG) Fri-Sun: 9:55, 12:20, 3:10, 5:40; Mon-Thur: 12:20, 3:10, 5:40 Van Helsing (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 9:50, 10:10, 10:40, 12:50, 1:25, 1:55, 4:00, 4:35, 5:05, 7:15, 7:45, 8:15, 10:25, 10:55, 11:15; Sun: 9:50, 12:50, 1:25, 1:55, 4:00, 4:35, 5:05, 7:15, 7:45, 8:15, 10:25, 10:55; Mon-Thur: 12:50, 1:25, 1:55, 4:00, 4:35, 5:05, 7:15, 7:45, 8:15, 10:25, 10:55 Mean Girls (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 10:00, 12:45, 2:55, 5:10, 7:20, 9:30, 11:55; Sun: 10:00, 12:45, 2:55, 5:10, 7:20, 9:30; Mon-Thur: 12:45, 2:55, 5:10, 7:20, 9:30 13 Going On 30 (PG-13) 8:10, 10:30 Man on Fire (R) 12:30, 3:50, 7:05, 10:15 Johnson Family Vacation (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 9:45, 12:15, 2:40, 5:00, 7:30, 10:20, 12:40; Sun: 9:45, 12:15, 2:40, 5:00, 7:30, 10:20; Mon-Thur: 12:15, 2:40, 5:00, 7:30, 10:20

Van Helsing (PG-13) 12:30, 2:00, 3:45, 5:15,

7:45, 8:30, 9:15 7:00, 8:15, 9:55 New York Minute (PG) 1:05, 3:20, 5:25,

7:35, 9:45 Laws of Attraction (PG-13) 7:50, 10:00 Bobby Jones: Stroke of Genius (PG) 12:55,

3:55, 6:50, 9:50 Mean Girls (PG-13) 12:50, 3:00, 5:10, 7:25,

9:35 Man on Fire (R) 12:40, 3:40, 6:40, 9:40 13 Going on 30 (PG-13) 12:35, 2:45, 4:55,

7:05, 9:20 Scooby Doo 2 (PG) 1:20, 3:30, 5:40 MASTERS 7 CINEMAS

Movies Good 5/14-5/20 Passion of the Christ (R) 1:15, 4:00, 6:45,

9:25 50 First Dates (PG-13) 1:00, 3:00, 5:00,

7:00, 9:40 Girl Next Door (R) 1:45, 7:20 Barbershop 2 (PG-13) 1:25, 4:15, 7:15, 9:35 Secret Window (PG-13) 4:10, 9:30 Agent Cody Banks 2 (PG) 1:20, 4:05, 7:05,

9:15 My Baby’s Daddy (PG-13) 1:05, 3:05, 5:05,

7:10, 9:20 Dawn of the Dead (R) 1:30, 4:30, 7:30, 9:45 REGAL 12 CINEMAS

Movies Good 5/14-5/20 50 First Dates (PG-13) 1:00, 3:05, 5:10,

7:30, 9:35 Girl Next Door (R) 1:25, 4:40, 7:10, 9:30 Taking Lives (R) 1:30, 4:45, 7:10, 9:25 Secret Window (PG-13) 12:45, 2:50, 4:55,

7:25, 9:30 Dawn of the Dead (R) 1:00, 3:05, 5:10, 7:35,

9:40 Twisted (R) 1:15, 3:15, 5:20, 7:15, 9:15 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (PG) 12:55, 2:55, 4:50, 7:00, 9:05 Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (PG-13) 12:45, 4:30, 8:15 You Got Served (PG-13) 1:10, 3:10, 5:15,

7:20, 9:20 Butterfly Effect (R) 1:20, 4:35, 7:00, 9:20 Cheaper by the Dozen (PG) 12:50, 2:55,

5:00, 7:40, 9:45

EVANS 14 CINEMAS

Movies Good 5/14-5/18 Shrek (PG) 12:15, 1:00, 1:45, 2:30, 3:15, 4:00, 4:45, 5:30, 6:30, 7:15, 8:00, 8:45, 9:30

Haunted Mansion (PG) 1:05, 3:00, 5:05,

7:05, 9:10

M O V I E L I S T I N G S A R E S U B J E C T C H A N G E W I T H O U T N O T I C E .

T O

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METRO SPIRIT - MAY 20, 2004

ooking buff and bronzed, Brad Pitt whipped himself into awesome shape for the role of Achilles in “Troy.” A three-hour adaptation of Homer’s epic poem “The Iliad,” “Troy” is a saga of love, revenge and death, told on scales both intimate and grand. The film features spectacular computerenhanced ancient warfare and Orlando Bloom as the Trojan prince who sweeps Helen of Troy off her feet. But mostly, “Troy” is a rare chance to check out Pitt in historical costume, playing a charismatic killing machine. The 40-year-old Oklahoma native, who shot to stardom as the stud in “Thelma & Louise,” still holds audiences spellbound. In his truly memorable films, such as “Legends of the Fall,” “Fight Club,” “Seven” and “Ocean’s Eleven,” Pitt has demonstrated talent, range and sex appeal to burn. Pitt, who is married to actress Jennifer Aniston, is currently filming an action thriller with Angelina Jolie. And in December he will appear in the crime caper sequel “Ocean’s Twelve,” rejoining the Steven Soderbergh Repertory Company cast of George Clooney, Julia Roberts, Matt Damon and Catherine Zeta-Jones. Q: What did it take for you to reshape your body so impressively before filming “Troy,” when you were 39? A: It was a lot of hard work, and an impending mid-life crisis was a great motivator. I got with people who knew what they were doing and I told them where I had to get to in order to play Achilles, the ultimate warrior. I had to take it to discomfort every day. Instead of running from that, every day became going to the gym and taking it to the point of absolute discomfort, for months. I cranked a lot of Audioslave music and started to enjoy doing it. Q: Were you already familiar with “The Iliad” and ancient Greek mythology? A: Not so much. I read “The Iliad.” And I knew that the gods had human attributes. They were spiteful, vengeful and benevolent. They had all the human emotions and quarreled among themselves. I’m drawn to that. Q: Peter O’Toole plays the king of Troy, and you two have a great dramatic scene when he recovers the body of his son, a man you had just slain in battle. How did you feel playing that scene? A: I’ve been waiting to do a scene like that forever. That’s why we do what we do. It was a great scene in “The Iliad,” a great scene in the script and getting to play that with Peter O’Toole was a highlight for me, for as long as I’ve been able to be an actor. Q: What are your favorite epic films? A: Out of respect to Mr. O’Toole, I’d have say “Lawrence of Arabia.” Would you call “Apocalypse Now” an epic? That, to me, is everything. Q: Director Wolfgang Peterson managed a great feat, dealing with this monstrous production while keeping the human story intact. A: Yeah, it was enormous, the biggest thing I’ve ever seen. We had two sets that were constantly

REGAL AUGUSTA EXCHANGE 20

MUSIC Blues Festival Offers Strongest Lineup Yet

By Andy Stokes

Blind Willie Blues Festival Schedule 12 p.m. — Shameless Dave and the Miracle Whips — The official house band of the Blind Pig is the festival opener this year. Dave Bryan and his band will be bringing a heavy mix of Chicago blues, Southern rock boogie and Memphis soul. These local boys will be right at home among the widely assorted bill this year. 12:55 p.m. — Mary Flower — A fabulous finger-picking guitar player, Flower specializes in ragtime jazz. Her style is heavily influenced by traditional blues like Blind Lemon Jefferson and Robert Johnson, with a husky voice to accompany her passionate playing.

The lore surrounding turn-of-the-century bluesmen often resembles the ancient Greek heroic poems. Johnny Ace was said to have died playing (or losing) at Russian roulette during the intermission of a Christmas show in 1954. Stories exist of a master blues guitarist named Ike Zinneman who preceded better-known bluesmen like Son House and Charley Patton and practiced in a graveyard late at night, though no recordings of his playing exist. Of course, the most famous blues legend ever is that of Robert Johnson. He is said to have inked a deal with the devil down at the crossroads, given his seemingly overnight mastery of the guitar. Some of these legends are true; some are not, but only those who were actually there know for sure. Like the Greek heroics, it was a long time ago and the stories relied solely on the oral tradition. Blind Willie McTell is another example of extraordinary talent with an amazing life, the details of which some may find unbelievable. McTell’s official birth date is May 5, 1901, though some sources cite 1898 as the correct year. He was actually born blind, in Thomson, and grew up in Statesboro. His blindness was never a hindering factor, as legend states that McTell’s senses of touch and hearing were extraordinary. He began playing harmonica and accordion at an early age, and picked up a guitar as soon as he was big enough to hold one. He began playing and immediately show-

ing skill at the six-string acoustic. His use of the 12-string, which he began to play in his 20s, was astounding: He used his finger-picking and slide guitar style to make one instrument sound like several. During the ‘20s, McTell spent time at several schools for the blind and worked at medicine shows and carnivals where he was a popular attraction. His first recording sessions were in late 1927 for Viktor Records. In these sessions, McTell recorded the famous “Statesboro Blues,” later made even more popular when it became a staple in The Allman Brothers catalog. As his recording career picked up, McTell began recording under different names for different record labels. He lived and worked out of Atlanta, never quite achieving the success he had hoped. He returned home around 1957, vowing to have given up the blues to become a pastor. He died on Aug. 19, 1959, of a cerebral hemorrhage. Blind Willie McTell was a giant of the blues, but he possessed skills at ragtime, spirituals, story-songs, hillbilly music and popular tunes. Each existing recording is pristine, and McTell’s playing on each is superb. He also had great improvisatory abilities, as evidenced on these albums. Despite a rise in popularity only after his death, he is easily one of the most important figures in the history of blues.

3:10 p.m. — Woody Mann — Trained by the legendary Reverend Gary Davis as well as the Julliard School, Mann is a wizard with an acoustic guitar, ad a key figure in the country-blues tradition. Mann digests his diverse influences into a totally unique guitar style. 4:25 p.m. — Pinetop Perkins and Bob Margolin — Margolin’s talent is matched only by his impressive

5:55 p.m. — Jimmy Thackery and the Drivers — Thackery’s 35-year career has included a little of everything. He’s worked hard along the way, and one listen to his amazing guitar pyrotechnics proves this. When Thackery takes the stage, expect to watch in awe. 7:20 p.m. — Marcia Ball — Ball’s style is a melting pot of traditional blues, zydeco, soul and jazz. Over the course of 10 albums, this year’s headliner has earned Grammy nominations, won the WC Handy Award and won the unanimous respect of the blues community. Ball enjoys playing as much as blues fans love hearing her play.

Directions from Augusta: Exit 172/Washington Rd.

Take 1-20 West toward Atlanta. Take exit 172 (the second Thomson exit) and turn right off the exit ramp. Drive 2 miles, then take a right on Stagecoach Rd. About 300 yards after the turn, the festival will be on the left.

Sta gec oac hR oad

34 METRO SPIRIT - MAY 20, 2004

The Real McTell: A Brief History

Pinetop Perkins is a living, breathing treasure: The 90-year-old pianist is the last of the performing Mississippi bluesmen. He actually got his start as a guitarist, but a mid-40s encounter with a knife-toting chorus girl left him with severed tendons in his left arm and no choice but to take up piano. By 1969 he was playing with Muddy Waters’ combo, filling Otis Spann’s place. Since then, his name has ben synonymous with the piano blues boogie.

I-20 West

SOUTHERN LOUISIANA REVIVALISTS, THE REDSTICK RAMBLERS, JUST ON THE VERGE OF ANOTHER FRONT-PORCH JAM.

2 p.m. — The Redstick Ramblers — Playing a mix of Western swing, Dixieland jazz and Cajun, The Redstick Ramblers are appearing at the festival for the second year in a row. They claim Southern Louisiana as home, and follow in the traditions of that area’s great musical legacies.

resume: He’s played with Muddy Waters in the combo that defined electric blues, provided guitar for Hubert Sumlin and, most recently, his trio has backed Pinetop Perkins. In addition to a set of his own, he’ll also come back out to join Perkins for a set.

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Ball Keeps Strong Blues Foothold By Andy Stokes

that I grew up with, so I’ve been involved in this synthesis for a long time. It’s just always been a part of what I do. It just comes so naturally to me that I have to stretch to do something else. AS: Your choice of covers — what goes into those? You do them well, but there’s got to be that fear of not doing the song justice. MB: I would definitely hold back from doing songs. In fact, one of the songs I held off from for the longest time and thought I would never cover would be “Louisiana 1927,” a Randy Newman song. It’s been done by many people, including people that, as a rule, I wouldn’t cover, like Aaron Neville. But I love that song, it’s very personal to me, and very timely. When I started doing it live in my sets, it was the years of the floods through the Midwest — ‘93 and ’94. AS: I guess it also helps to have a band that’s been together for so long, where you see most artists dispose of backing groups nonchalantly, or hire studio musicians to record. MB: Well, we use a little bit of everything. I use my band and they have been together a while, and they’re capable. But Austin’s a good place to record. It’s good to have the option of using all the various talent that’s here. AS: It seems that piano in all types of music is taking a backseat to the flashier instruments. Do you think it’s back on the upswing? MB: In pop music, there are some excellent examples of piano music making a splash. Norah Jones is one; Tori Amos is another; Elton John has always been there. It used to be that the piano was the thing in the days of Little Richard and Jerry Lee Lewis. It’s interesting that now we’re having to scramble to hold our place. AS: In your teenage years, you looked up to Dr. John, Professor Longhair and Clifton Chenier. Now you have a younger generation looking up to you with the same reverence that you once looked up to your predecessors. MB: Well, I hope that I’ve given someone along the way something to aspire to. I’m proud to be a bad influence.

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arcia Ball, the headliner at this year’s Blind Willie Blues Festival, has never been in a band in which she is not the leader. It’s not an ego thing; it’s just that her style of playing can’t take a backseat to anything else. Though she’s always been known for her poise behind the keys, her playing since joining Alligator Records several years ago has taken on a definite articulation. It’s the level a musician reaches, a higher plateau, where perfection is essentially reached within his or her style, and that musician can go back to the basics with a finely tuned mind and a new take on the material. Ball got her start behind the piano at age 5, when she began taking formal lessons in her hometown of Vinton. Fresh out of LSU in 1970, Ball and her then-husband were en route to San Francisco when the car they were in needed immediate repairs. The couple stopped off in Austin, Texas, and Ball “just fell in love with the town.” Over 30 years later, she’s still there, still thriving in the musician-friendly community. Her recordings now number in the double digits; her style is like a roadmap that shows the link between the Cajun-zydeco sound of Louisiana and the blues roots of Austin. Marcia Ball recently spoke with me from her Austin, TX home, in the midst of doing chores. Andy Stokes: What strikes me is how you don’t fit the mold of the typical Austin musician. That’s a city known more for its singersongwriters than for blues troubadours. Marcia Ball: There wasn’t a mold at that time. The mold was brought up around Austin, so to speak, since 1970. The spotlight hit Austin at about 1972, and I was in a country band then. AS: You’re rooted in so many different styles — zydeco, jazz, R&B, honky-tonk, all in addition to blues. It seems like blues is just the easiest classification for you, not necessarily the best. How do you stay up on all these types of music? MB: All of the styles that you named are rolled up into one thing, which is the music

Thursday June 10th

music

Summer Series Equals Great Area Music

oe Stevenson has always remained active in Augusta’s music scene, whether it’s making the music or supporting it. Recently, in addition to heading up 95 Rock’s weekly show “Homegrown,” Stevenson has remained in close contact with many of the musicians he met through the days of touring with People Who Must. It’s this network that allowed Stevenson to assemble such an impressive cast of musicians for his Summer Series, which was birthed out of desire to bring regional talent to the area. The idea’s conception came after Ben Mize, a friend of Stevenson’s, recently left Counting Crows, with which he had long been the drummer. “Basically, I’d been talking to Ben for a while about coming to town and having a show together,” says Stevenson. “I thought it might be cool to do something someplace different that I haven’t played, that had a cool vibe, and the Metro Coffeehouse would be a great place to do that.” According to Stevenson, Mize’s show went off successfully last Thursday night. With an appropriate venue decided and a string of shows in mind, Stevenson then had to fill out the remaining bit with outstanding regional artists, both established and up-and-

coming. With Mize already committed, Stevenson looked to surrounding states for other artists. “I wanted to promote this thing as a whole and not be scrambling around trying to find acts to play here,” Stevenson says. Through the course of some hard searching and choosing between area talents, Stevenson established a lineup that faithfully represents the budding talent of the Southeast. Patrick Davis, who hails from Camden, S.C., via Nashville; Doug Jones, former lead singer of South Carolina favorites Cravin’ Melon; and Nashville-based Steven Jackson all agreed to round out the series as headlining acts. Though each of the acts is deep-rooted in Americana, each has their own flavor: Jackson plays a folky brand roots rock that brings to mind Springsteen, Jones’ work with Cravin’ Melon owed to the poppy side of Southern rock and Davis hails from the country-folk side of rock. “Steven Jackson, I’ve always loved. His new CD is great, his old CD is great and I just thought it would be great to bring him back to Augusta,” says Stevenson. “Doug Jones and I just go way back: We used to tour around in (Cravin’ Melon and People Who Must). I heard he was doing some solo stuff; I called him up and he was all for it.”

By Andy Stokes

Stevenson adds that he had seen Patrick Davis opening for Edwin McCain at the Red Lion Pub some time ago and “after months of hoarding a CD,” has turned up as one of Stevenson’s favorites. Stevenson also planned an earlier show than the 10 p.m. start times he’s become known for with his regular gigs at Joe’s Underground. “Most of the time I play, I don’t start until 9:30 or 10, and most of my friends are married with kids and careers and it gave me an opportunity to do something earlier,” Stevenson says. The earlier start time — 8 p.m. sharp — allows Stevenson to play a full set of originals and have the headlining act on by 9 p.m. Stevenson cites the success of the first show with Ben Mize headlining as a gauge of the future success of the remaining three. “Ben, who has played around the world a million times and probably played in front of a million people, was extremely gracious of the gig,” says Stevenson. “It was really cool.” Of his 8-9 p.m. set, Stevenson says, “I’m doing a few older songs. I’m not going back too far. I’m just kind of playing the songs I still enjoy to play. It’s what Ed Turner describes as my ‘Paul McCartney — Ram’ stage where I have songs about my children.”

What: Joe Stevenson’s Summer Series When: Thursday Nights June 3 — Patrick Davis July 22 — Doug Jones August 5 — Steven Jackson Where: Metro Coffeehouse Admission: $2 Info: www.joestevensonmusic.com

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S hawn Pruitt, Ke rri Cope and Mike Reading at T he P layground du ring the Club Craw l.

Donya Thompson, Daniel Neighbors and Jennifer Strickland at Hale Tiki.

Missy Newman, Trey Smith, Beau Owens and Bethany Seepe at The Blind Pig during the Club Crawl.

Tracy Howard, Ryan James and Lanier Horne at The Soul Bar during the Club Crawl.

T he A ll ison Carney at d an n ri he ul M n Ke awl. during the Club Cr m oo hr us M w lo Mel

el ho at T he Bee's Co r to ic V d an Beth Upchurch Club Crawl. Knees during the

Connie Sanchez, Chris Jones and Jan Sanchez at D. Timms. Photos by Michael E. Johnson

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 20, 2004 37

Scott Letz, Reagan Smith and Jack Muse at The Soul Bar during the Club Cra wl.

Tiki. eredo at Hale P k ic r ul a P Joane and

music

CD Reviews

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By Andy Stokes

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“Trial of the Century” marks the sophomore return of post-alternative underdogs The French Kicks. With it, they continue to take a half step ahead of whatever’s currently hip. In the time since the release of their debut, 2002’s “One Time Bells,” they’ve righted any youthful wrongs: The same dissonant harmonies have been tightened and given a little warmth, drummer Nick Stumpf has dropped the patchwork indie-rock bashing for drum machine-like precision and to their list of worn-on-the-sleeve influences are Joy Division and The Cure. I caught up with Nick Stumpf as he was in La Hoya, Cal., in the midst of a French Kicks tour in support of “Trial of the Century.” Andy Stokes: It seems that there’s something in the subtext of French Kicks music that lends more to the subtext and grows on the listener, as opposed to the instant gratification and ease of disposability of a band like, say, The Strokes. Nick Stumpf: We definitely hope for that. I think it’s about making subtle choices and hiding things in there that will (be revealed) when you listen to it really closely. It’s the idea of understating, not hitting people over the head. AS: When writing, do most of the songs start on drums, since you, the drummer, do most of the writing? NS: It’s very common, yeah. “Down Now” (from “One Time Bells”) is a piano idea of Josh (Wise’s) that makes up that Big Ben-sounding thing in the chorus. Generally, though, it’s some really simple idea, and it gets built around it from there, and often that simple idea will be a beat, or a beat and a bass line. AS: Have you found that your recent lumping in with hipster is a blessing or a curse? NS: I think we’re very much looking forward to the day that we stop getting about that, and I think this record will start to make that happen.

Von Bondies — Pawn Shop Heart (Sire) The Von Bondies are representing the cream of “why it’s cool to rock these days” rock music. Sure, the image issues are there — that seems to go with the territory of making retro-rock these days — but the focus with the Von Bondies is clearly on the music. Members of Interpol dress like contract hit men; The Strokes wear clothes you would otherwise see on the first 10 pages of GQ magazine. Who could forget The Hives spelling out H-I-V-E-S, one letter on each of their uniforms? While there’s nothing wrong with having some attitude come through visually as well as aurally, when the average fan can think of what a band looks like five or six seconds before they can think of that band’s signature tune or sound, the music has clearly taken a backseat. What puts The Von Bondies at the top of the pyramid has nothing to do with visual representation. There is actually some mindless rock here; no embarrassing political or social babble and only a moderate focus on aesthetics. The Von Bondies, by the way, have Jack Black to thank for their publicity — his inclusion of The Von Bondies on the 2001 “Sympathetic Sounds of Detroit” project immediately launched the group into the spotlight. On their Sire debut, The Von Bondies hit as hard as either of their previous two releases, but ex-Talking Heads member Jerry Harrison’s production brings out the fine elements of the group: A slick twinguitar attack, drummer Don Blum’s Keith Moon-like ferocity and call and response vocal lines. Along with other great acts like The Soledad Brothers, The Von Bondies seem to be channeling Motor City’s rich rock history. References to past greats like MC5 and The Stooges are standard by now, but The Von Bondies are a direct effect of such greatness. They’re finding their own voice now, though, and the fame they find own their own merits will far exceed any fame found with a mere name drop.

www.metrospirit.com

music by turner

People Who Are Dept. JOE STEVENSON continues to promote good music in Augusta with a series of summer shows at the Metro Coffeehouse. COUNTING CROWS drummer BEN MIZE started the set of shows last week in front of a small but very appreciative group of fans. Coming next is Camden native PATRICK DAVIS on June 3 with CRAVIN’ MELONS’ DOUG JONES scheduled for July 22. STEVEN JACKSON finishes the miniseries August 5. All shows have just a $2 cover and feature promoter-musician Stevenson opening as well. A few months back we reviewed a North Carolina gig by COWBOY MOUTH and mentioned that the FRED LEBLANC-led band is one of the hottest live acts on the planet. Thanks to harmonic convergence (as well as serendipitous tour routing), the band is coming to the Imperial Theatre June 20. Some groups are made for the stage and Cowboy Mouth always gets everyone involved. Their new disc, “UH-OH!,” is set for a summer release and the band is sure to debut some

B Y

E D

cool new tunes. Bring Jenny no matter what she says — it will be a party! ELTON JOHN pays homage to his part-time hometown Atlanta with his upcoming disc, “Peachtree Road.” Nice title, too, as it’s a much better name for the album than “Music From and Inspired by The Varsity,” “I Put the ‘Honky’ in ‘Honky Cat’” and “What’s This Kudzu Stuff, Bloke?” It will be out later in the year. New Releases In the stores this week are POPA CHUBBY’s “Peace, Love and Respect,” JULIANA HATFIELD’s “In Exile Deo,” ROD PIAZZA AND THE MIGHTY FLYERS’ “Keepin’ It Real,” SLOAN’s “Action Packed,” AUF DER MAUR’s “S/T,” GOMEZ’s “Split the Difference,” HARVEY MASON’s “With All My Heart,” ALANIS MORISSETTE’s “So-Called Chaos,” MORRISSEY’s “You Are the Quarry,” SAM MYERS’ “Comin’ From the Old School” and “A - - hole” from KISS leader GENE SIMMONS. Turner’s Quick Notes JIMMY BUFFETT’s next disc, “License to Chill,” features duets with BILL WITHERS, ALAN JACKSON, NANCI GRIFFITH, KENNY CHESNEY and CLINT BLACK, among others … DAN HICKS AND HIS HOT LICKS invade Atlanta’s Variety Playhouse May 22 … AIMEE MANN is set for the Variety in Atlanta June 16 … Don’t forget the DRIVE BY TRUCKERS show May 29 at the Imperial … A PERFECT CIRCLE has a new DVD out this week, “Lost in the Bermuda Triangle.”

Rock Icon Experiences Donnie Darko Syndrome The original glam-rocker David Bowie has picked up a strange follower on his latest tour: an enormous pink rabbit. Bowie himself even spotted the person dressed head-totoe in the bunny outfit during a series of recent concerts. Bowie was so taken with the fan that he dedicated a song to him. Things got a little weirder when, upon, boarding his flight out of New York, Bowie noticed the rabbit also sitting aboard the plane.

The “Saw It Coming a Mile Away” Dept. Outkast’s Andre 3000 is set to star in a film that will begin production in September. The as-of-yet-untitled film’s plot will center on a love story set to race and class struggles in the mid-1970s (no joke). Andre will play an affluent musical prodigy named Valentine who falls in love with a white, free-spirited lower-class woman. Almost automatically, Andre 3000 will be involved with the film’s soundtrack.

Much-Loved Album To Be Loved for the First Time Beach Boys Alert! Nonesuch Records is set to release a proper copy of “SMiLE,” considered to be rock’s great lost masterpiece, on Sept. 28. With it, nearly four decades of speculation will be put to rest, as no consumer ears have ever heard the intended final copy of the album. “SMiLE” was set to be the triumphant followup to 1966’s “Pet Sounds” until Brian Wilson’s nervous breakdown. “SMiLE” was never finished the first time through, so Wilson recruited his 10piece touring band (which includes the more-than-able Wondermints) to finish it.

Sometimes Rap Music Just Stinks Inexplicably popular rap act Twista dropped “da bomb” on Indianapolis Sunday night, when his tour bus accidentally released about 200 gallons of sewage into the street. Firefighters had to be called in, as the overflow of sewage caused a “slow jam” in the gutter and began to flow toward the Omni Hotel. After checking with the local health department, the firefighters hosed the waste off the street. The accident raises the questions: 200 gallons? How long had it been since they last emptied the tank?

COMPILED BY ANDY STOKES

Information compiled from online and other music news sources.

Turner’s Rock ‘n’ Roll Jeopardy A. This was the first year that CDs outsold vinyl records. Q. What is 1988?

ENNY KRAVITZ offers up a sanctified version of funk with “Baptism,” new and in the stores this week. Spirituality has been a recurring theme in the New York native’s music since “Let Love Rule” hit way back in 1989 and this disc is no exception. It’s a back-to-basics affair for Kravitz, who is obviously doing some serious soul searching as this month he turns (gasp!) the big 4-0. JAY-Z, DAVID SANBORN and HENRY HIRSCH guest on the disc, which has Kravitz playing all of the other instruments. He won four straight Grammy’s for “Best Male Rock Vocal Performance” from 1998-2001 (a record) and “Baptism” should continue that success.

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Thursday, 20th

Friday, 21st

The Bee’s Knees – Meditate on This! Blind Pig – Pat Blanchard Group Club Argos – Karaoke Contest Continuum – Playa*Listic Thursday Coyote’s – Rhes Reeves Band D. Timm’s – The Section Finish Line Cafe – DJ Fox’s Lair – Karaoke Greene Street’s - Karaoke Honky Tonk – Rock ‘n’ Roll Thursday Joes Underground - Ruskin Metro Coffeehouse – Jazz Collective Modjeska – DJ Hydraulic, DJ Neutron Playground – Open Mic The Pourhouse – Karaoke with Pourhouse Friends Robbie’s Sports Bar – DJ Rusty Shannon’s – Karaoke with Peggy Soul Bar – David Owen Surrey Tavern – Redheaded Stepchild Wheeler Tavern – DJ Flashback Buddy

Back Roads – DJ Backyard Tavern - Karaoke The Bee’s Knees – Projections and Selections Blind Pig – Shameless Dave and the Miracle Whips Cafe Du Teau – James McIntyre Coliseum – Lady Chablis Cotton Patch – Jayson Sabo, Michael Baideme Coyote’s – The Rhes Reeves Band D. Timm’s – The Section El Rodeo – DJ Sontiago Finish Line Cafe – DJ Fox’s Lair – Daddy Grace Greene Streets – Karaoke Honky Tonk – DJ Doug Romanella Imperial Theatre – Drivin’ n’ Cryin’, Shaun Piazza Band Joe’s Underground – Black Eyed Susan Last Call – DJ Richie Rich Little Honky Tonk – Heavy Dose Modjeska – The Flavour Shoppe with DJ Ty Bess Ms. Carolyn’s – The Horizon

Partridge Inn – Mellow-D The Pourhouse – The Tony Howard Band R. Gabriel’s – Allison Foster Robbie’s Sports Bar – DJ Rusty Shannon’s – Bart Bell and Allen Black Soul Bar – (R) evolution with DJ Solo Stillwater Tap Room – The Crooked Jades Surrey Tavern - Playback Wheeler Tavern – DJ Flashback Buddy

Saturday, 22nd Aiken Brewing Co. – St. Somewhere, Loch ness Johnny Back Roads – DJ The Bee’s Knees – Moniker Blind Pig – Shameless Dave and the Miracle Whips Cafe Du Teau – James McIntyre Club Argos – DJ Rana’s Mixed Emotions Dance Party Coconuts – DJ Tim Cotton Patch – John Kolbeck Coyote’s – The Rhes Reeves Band

Crossroads – Senatobia D. Timm’s – The Section Finish Line Cafe – DJ, Karaoke Fox’s Lair – Dennis Hall Greene Streets – Karaoke Hangnail Gallery – Drilling Bonnie, In My Trunk, Jungle Bob’s Devil Tribe, Daughter of Lust Honky Tonk – DJ Doug Romanella Joe’s Underground – Joe Stevenson Last Call – Benny Baker Little Honky Tonk – Heavy Dose Metro Coffeehouse – Live Afternoon Bluegrass with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Modjeska – Groove International with DJ Carlitos The Pourhouse – Benefit Concert for Edmond Kida hosted by The Recaps Robbie’s Sports Bar – DJ Rusty The Shack – DJ Buckwheat Shannon’s – Karaoke with Peggy Soul Bar – Bain Mattox Stillwater Tap Room – The Redstick Ramblers Surrey Tavern - Playback Wheeler Tavern – DJ Flashback Buddy

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Monday, 24th Continuum – Monday Madness Fox’s Lair – Happy Hour Open Mic Greene Streets – Karaoke Joe’s Underground – Cliff Bennett Surrey Tavern – Tim Miller

Tuesday, 25th Adams Lounge – Keith “Fossill” Gregory The Bee’s Knees – 12*Tone Lounge D. Timm’s – The Section Fox’s Lair – Open Mic Greene Streets – Karaoke Joe’s Underground – John Kolbeck Metro Coffeehouse – Irish Night with Sibin Surrey Tavern – Pat Blanchard Band

Wednesday, 26th DJ RICHIE RICH WILL SP IN AT LAST CALL ON FRIDAY NIGHT.

Sunday, 23rd Adams Lounge – DJ Cafe Du Teau – The Last Bohemian Quartet Cotton Patch – Cliff Bennett Robbie’s Sports Bar – DJ Rusty The Shack – Karaoke with DJ Joe Steel, Sasha Shannon’s – Shelly Watkins Somewhere in Augusta – Pat Blanchard T.G.I. Friday’s – John Kolbeck

The Bee’s Knees – Heliocentric Cinema Blind Pig – What You Want Coconuts – Karaoke Coliseum – Wacky Wednesdays Continuum – Open Mic Jam Sessions Coyote’s – The Rhes Reeves Band D. Timm’s – The Section Fox’s Lair – Open Mic/Karaoke Greene Streets – Karaoke Playground – Karaoke Robbie’s Sports Bar – DJ Rusty Somewhere in Augusta – John Kolbeck Soul Bar – Live Jazz Surrey Tavern - Pat and Adam

Upcoming The Drive-By Truckers, Stewart and Winfield – Imperial Theatre – May 29

A Wilhelm Scream, Near Miss –Hangnail Gallery – June 8 The Distance, With Honor - Hangnail Gallery – June 10 Big Sky – Crossroads – June 11 Train, The Graham Colton Band – Fort Gordon’s Barton Field – June 18 Marshall Tucker Band, Gary Allan, Pinmonkey – Greenjackets Stadium – June 19 Cowboy Mouth – Imperial Theatre – June 20

Elsewhere Doc Watson – Variety Playhouse, Atlanta – May 21 Danger Mouse, Money Mark – Earthlink Live, Atlanta – May 21 Von Bondies – Cotton Club, Atlanta – May 25 The Fire Theft – Cotton Club, Atlanta – May 26 Jimmy Buffett – HiFi Buys Amphtheatre - May 26 Harry Connick, Jr. – Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta – June 9, 10 Chingy – Centennial Olympic Park, Atlanta – June 11 David Byrne – Earthlink Live, Atlanta – June 12 Bonnie Prince Billy – Orange Twin Conservatory, Athens – June 12 The Shins – Variety Playhouse, Atlanta – June 13 John Vanderslice, Pedro the Lion – New Brookland Tavern, Columbia – June 15 My Morning Jacket – Coca Cola Roxy Theatre, Atlanta – June 16 Styx, Nelson, Peter Frampton – HiFi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - June 16 Atlanta Fest – Six Flags Over Georgia, Atlanta – June 16-19 Supersuckers – New Brookland Tavern, Columbia – June 17 Decemberists – Echo Lounge, Atlanta – June 17 AthFest – Various Venues, Athens – June 17-20 Rooney, Ozma – Coca Cola Roxy Theatre – June 18 Eric Clapton, Jimmie Vaughan – Philips Arena, Atlanta – June 18

Michael McDonald, Average White Band, Hall and Oates – Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta – June 28 Diana Krall – Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta – July 8 Earth, Wind and Fire, Chicago – Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta – July 11 Beach Boys – Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta – July 14 Dave Matthews Band – HiFi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta – July 27 Vans Warped Tour ’04 – HiFi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta – July 28 311, The Roots – HiFi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta – July 31 Prince – Philips Arena, Atlanta – August 9 Projekt Revolution Tour – HiFi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta – August 13 Lollapalooza Tour – Turner Field, Atlanta – August 21

Many tickets are available through TicketMaster outlets by calling 828-7700, or online at www.ticketmaster.com. Tickets may also be available through Tix Online by calling 278-4TIX, online at www.tixonline.com or at their outlet location in Southgate Plaza. After Dark listings are subject to change without notice. Deadline for inclusion in After Dark calendar is Tuesday at 4 p.m. Contact Rhonda Jones or Andy Stokes by calling 738-1142, faxing 736-0443 or e-mailing to rhonda.jones@metrospirit.com or andy.stokes@metrospirit.com.

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n April, Luftee Abdul Waalee, 48, was sentenced to three years in prison for trying to pass a fake U.S. Treasury check for $25 million at a credit union in Pittsburgh. According to the prosecutor, Waalee is a member of the “Moors” black separatist group that supposedly believes that each American is endowed with a secret government account worth around $600,000, based on a theory that when the U.S. went off the gold standard in 1933, it began backing its currency not with a precious metal but with the prospective labor of its citizens. (Because the Moors are smarter than everyone else, only they know about these secret accounts and can thus buy and sell them.) Government in Action After a decade of tolerance, the Tokyo metropolitan government ruled in March that used lingerie could no longer be sold in the city’s sex shops, where men had been paying the equivalent of $15-90 for a pair of panties in a plastic bag, sometimes including a photograph of the former owner. Increasingly, schoolgirls as young as 9 had been supplying the stores. Unclear on the Concept • In March, a Shell/Site convenience store manager in North Naples, Fla., found employee Robert Lee King, 41, lying on the floor rubbing off one not-yet-purchased lottery ticket after another, looking for winners, stacking the used tickets neatly in two piles. The incredulous manager said he tried to explain to King that that isn’t the way the lottery business works, whereupon King calmly took his stack of winners and walked out. The manager called in a sheriff’s deputy, explained the problem and showed the surveillance tape of King with the tickets, and while the deputy was writing his report, King happened to come back in to ask for his paycheck. He was charged with grand theft. • Residents of South Camden, N.J., who (according to a February Newark Star-Ledger report) have spent years complaining about government failure to rehabilitate their rundown neighborhood, have commenced another level of complaint recently. Now that the state and federal governments have finally sent cleanup and restoration money in, the Star-Ledger reports, residents are complaining that the community is starting to look too good (especially the Delaware River waterfront), which will raise property values (and taxes) and force many longtime residents to leave. Latest Religious Messages • As usual in the hundred-year-old Easter festival on the Greek isle of Chios, townspeople from two churches in Vrodandos stockpiled small rockets (an estimated 25,000 in all) and fired them at each other’s bell on Easter morning while parishioners were inside for services (although the windows had been boarded up in anticipation). As in previous years, misguided rockets started fires in nearby houses, but unlike in some years, there were no deaths.

• Don Sneed, a theological researcher and gay activist in Dallas, released a video in April that he said provides mathematical and scientific proof that God exists (a theory that he proudly says no one has yet refuted). “The God Number” explains Sneed’s “Definity — Uninity — Infinity,” which he says “substantiates the identification of the specific number that represents God.” This first video, he said, was for the layperson, and he is at work on a professional version for mathematicians and scientists. • Several parents walked out of a holiday program by the Glassport (Pa.) Assembly of God when the actors on stage began whipping the Easter bunny and breaking its eggs, which church officials said was an attempt to move past the benign symbols of the holiday and focus on the suffering of Christ. As children in the audience cried at the beatings, actors chanted “There is no Easter bunny.” Least Competent Criminals A man pulled a knife on a cashier at a Family Dollar store in Vineland, N.J., in December and demanded money from the open cash register, but the cashier slammed it shut and said “No.” After several more demands and several more refusals, the man walked out. And a potential robber of the Iowa Savings Bank in Des Moines on May 3 suffered a similar fate, except that not only did he finally walk out empty-handed, but he also left behind his own $20 bill he had initially laid on the counter to get the teller’s attention. Update St. Louis School Board member Rochell Moore was finally removed by a judge for misconduct in April, after incidents beyond the one reported last August in News of the Weird (in which she put a biblical curse on Mayor Francis Slay because she disagreed with his school reform proposals). At the board meeting that ultimately resulted in her dismissal, Moore dumped a pitcher of ice water on an assistant superintendent and later publicly threatened violence against anyone who suggests that she may be mentally ill (though she was involuntarily hospitalized for that in 2002). Also, in the Last Month ... Following a violent collision by Shane Millard and opponent Dean Ripley during a British rugby game, doctors stitching up Millard found part of Ripley’s tooth in Millard’s head. And veterinarians in Manchester, England, discovered that the reason for the poor health of the golf course mascot Libby, a German shepherd, was that she had swallowed 28 balls (but is now fine after surgery). And a wired-up Hamas suicide bomber in the Gaza Strip, on his way to an assignment, was accosted by two Palestinian street thieves and decided he might as well detonate early and take the two men with him. — Chuck Shepherd © United Press Syndicate

Brezsny’s Free Will

a garland made of flowers that were picked before they bloomed. If you’re patient, on the other hand, fate will be able to fashion you a riper and more useful blessing. Do you need further motivation, Virgo? Here’s some. One of the weak spots in your mastery of the game of life has been a lack of good timing, but lately you’ve been getting better at sensing the arrival of the perfect moment. Let this growing skill grow a little more.

Astr ology ARIES (March 21-April 19)

Wabi-sabi is your guiding principle this week, Aries. It’s a Japanese term for a kind of beauty that’s imperfect, transitory and incomplete. In his book “Wabi-Sabi for Artists, Designers, Poets and Philosophers,” Leonard Koren says wabi-sabi differs from the Western notion that beauty resides in things that are “monumental, spectacular and enduring.” It’s about “the minor and the hidden, the tentative and the ephemeral: Things so subtle and evanescent they are almost invisible at first glance.” Be calmly eager for these small wonders, Aries. Let wabi-sabi be a magic spell that opens up the secret joys concealed within the passing moments of your everyday routine.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

If you’ve gone to college in the U.S., you’ve taken the SAT, a standardized test administered to high school students. Is it an accurate measure of intelligence? In a recent analysis, the Princeton Review determined that if the great Taurus writer, William Shakespeare, had submitted his “All the world’s a stage” speech for the essay section of the SAT, he would have flunked. Its language is too colorful. I suspect that you, too, may soon be judged or evaluated by one-dimensional minds, Taurus. Don’t take it personally. They’re simply not able to recognize and accommodate a soul as weighty as yours. Take their off-kilter response as a sign that you need to work harder to situate yourself in environments that fully appreciate you.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

I love my regular hikes to the top of idyllic Mohawk Hill. Green hills cascade in every direction. Horses graze in a nearby pasture. Redtailed hawks soar overhead. But there is one blight: A gray metal storage structure surrounded by barbed-wire fence. At the climax of my ascent today, I rejoiced to find that this monstrosity had been improved. Artistic vandals had paid a visit, covering it with bright graffiti. The yellow, blue and red designs were mostly indecipherable except

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

Your symbol for the next four weeks will be the Great Wall of China. Centuries ago, it was a 4,000-mile-long defense system. In that respect, it was an apt metaphor for the formidable barriers you’ve built around yourself. But the modern version of the Great Wall is only one-third the size it once was, having been reduced over the centuries by people appropriating its stones for new building projects. This reduced state, I hope, is an apt metaphor for the way you’ll be dismantling your defense mechanisms between now and June 20.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

“I knew that my God was bigger than his,” bragged U.S. Army Lt. General William G. Boykin as he derided a Somalian guerrilla leader. “I knew that my God was a real God, and his was an idol.” I can’t vouch for the accuracy of Boykin’s assertion, but I do know this, Leo: According to my analysis of the cosmic omens, your Supreme Being really is stronger, sweeter and sexier than everyone else’s Supreme Beings, at least temporarily. Frankly, your God could kick all the other Gods’ asses. I don’t advise you to sic Him on anyone, though — not even on the jerks who seem to deserve it. There’d be hell to pay later if you did. On the other hand, if you and your God show extra mercy and generosity in the coming weeks, you will accrue tremendous karmic credit, which you’ll be able to harvest beginning in August.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Can you wait a while to receive your vindication, recognition and reward? I hope so. If you insist on your prize immediately, it will be unfinished, like

26 Comment by

the work-weary 1 Alphabetical trio 27 Law office 4 Advance, employees, slangily informally 8 Bush and others 28 More quaggy 14 Warranty regis. 31 2000 Richard info Gere title role 32 Middle of the 16 Full-scale resolution 17 Start of a 35 Joule fraction resolution by comedian 36 Piece maker Steven Wright 39 Pasty-faced 18 “___ never 42 ___ River, N.J. deceives us; it 43 Traffic-stopping is always we org.? who deceive 44 Plenty mad, ourselves”: with “off” Rousseau 45 Speaker’s 19 Unmoved name? 20 Cleaning agent 46 Hex 21 Respond to 48 Losing it? 22 507, on a slab 50 Esteem 24 Little more than 52 ___ income 25 Uncle Jorge, 53 End of the e.g. resolution

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE G N A W

N A B S

A H E R N

N A B O O

U P S I D E D O W N

A C S N O A T O W I N

N O M A N I C H I N G

M O N O D I C T W O O N E S

A N O X I C

M L I I

H O O H O O

S O O N N O T

B O N O W E S S I W N S C L T R O I H O V A M P I M I T T Z F A U X N O M I I X I W P E N A A N G Y

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

A R N E S S H E R O N

T O O N

A L D E O W T

S P U N A R O U N D

I S R E D

W I L T S

M R E D

I N G E

55 The big chill 56 Al Franken, for

one 57 Grammy winner Santana 58 River of Flanders 59 Good things to rack up: Abbr. DOWN 1 Uncanny ability 2 Woman’s name from Latin for “happiness” 3 Benefactors 4 Ballet slipper material 5 Novel idea 6 Spending according to plan 7 Big digit 8 Polynesian porch 9 The first “A” of A. A. Milne 10 Action just before a war 11 Carpenter’s tool 12 Show of lights 13 Cordwood measures 15 Not ___ many words 20 Sandwich maker’s brand 21 Impersonal banker 23 Shrews 26 Wind chimes sound 27 Old hands

I don’t want to encourage you to be a lazy, crazy, hazy drifter who careens from chance encounter to chance encounter without any specific intention in mind … but I do want to invite you to be an adventure-chasing, dream-intoxicated, passion-awakening wanderer who glides from experiment to experiment armed with the goal of opening your mind as far it can safely go. Head in the direction of the best smells and most intriguing mysteries, Libra.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Your fresh dilemma is actually a twisted old predicament in disguise. It’s a bit prettier than it was the last time you saw it, but just as knotty. Please don’t underestimate it. If you imagine you can force it to disappear overnight, you’ll make bumbling decisions and awkward moves. If, on the other hand, you assume you’ll need steady, prolonged effort, you will attract excellent luck and unexpected help. Be a humble warrior motivated not by hatred for the problem but by love for yourself.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Let’s talk about repression and suppression. When you repress a difficult feeling or thought, you drive it so deeply into your unconscious mind that you forget about it. In effect, you hide it from yourself out of fear. And yet because this exiled material is of crucial importance, it refuses to remain buried. It ultimately re-emerges in disguise, often as an addiction or obsession, sometimes as an illness. Suppression, on the other hand, is a healthier mechanism. It involves you moving the problematic feeling or thought away from the center of your attention, but remaining aware of it. You’re not motivated by fear, but by the intention to deal with the challenge at a time of your choosing. In the coming week, Sagittarius, you’ll have to decide between repression and suppression. I hope you’ll pick the latter.

16 18

17 19

20 22

30 33

36 42

46 50

51 54

Puzzle by Elizabeth C. Gorski

29 Call in a hurry 30 Honker

31 Retreats

33 Umpteen

34 Off-itinerary

jaunt

37 Bony fish 38 “2001”

processor

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PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

It has taken eight centuries, but the Dutch people have added 3,000 square miles to their country. They accomplished this feat not through the conquest of neighboring nations but by building dikes and moving great amounts of water, gradually transforming parts of the sea into livable land. Their dogged effort is a good metaphor for the work I propose for you, Pisces. Think of your unconscious mind as the sea and your conscious mind as the land. Can you imagine what it would entail for you to turn some of those watery depths into solid ground where you can take a stand? Can you imagine the satisfaction of becoming fully aware of feelings and dreams and desires that are now hidden from your view?

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

In his book “Weird Ideas That Work,” business consultant Robert Sutton advises companies to have as much commitment to creativity as to stability. That’s why, in his opinion, they should hire a few free thinkers who enjoy bucking the status quo and are willing to fight for their unique ideas. I think everyone would benefit from heeding that advice; we all need people in our lives who regularly push us to question our assumptions. You Aquarians especially need this influence right now. Do you know any good troublemakers you can call on to get your dogmas disrupted? If not, find one.

39 Like the modern 46 Trail left by an

age

animal 40 New York’s ___ 47 Sound from a Burmese Lake 49 Othello foe 41 Tumble 51 One-named 42 One in a supermodel stroller 53 Prayer possessive 45 Elaine of 54 Scale amts. “Seinfeld”

For answers, call 1-900-285-5656, $1.20 a minute; or, with a credit card, 1-800-814-5554. Annual subscriptions are available for the best of Sunday crosswords from the last 50 years: 1-888-7-ACROSS. Online subscriptions: Today's puzzle and more than 2,000 past puzzles, nytimes.com/crosswords ($34.95 a year). Share tips: nytimes.com/puzzleforum. Crosswords for young solvers: nytimes.com/learning/xwords.

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METRO SPIRIT - MAY 20, 2004

New York Times Crossword Puzzle

ACROSS

for one patch that clearly said “Test Your Strength.” That brings me to the point of this week’s horoscope, Gemini. Your assignment is to carry out a legal version of what the vandals did: Bring dynamic, interesting disruption to a sterile, ugly scene, thereby testing your strength.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Professional handicappers say the odds are a billionto-1 that any particular person will ultimately achieve sainthood, but a mere 70,000-to-1 that someone will be possessed by Satan. According to my reading of the cosmic signs, however, those figures won’t apply to you Capricorns in the coming weeks. I estimate that the odds of you flirting with diabolical forces will be 900 million-to-1, while the odds are 5-to-1 that you will perform services and bestow blessings that qualify you for sainthood. Are you ready to explore the frontiers of ingenious, overthe-top benevolence? Goodness is your superpower.

The Advice Goddess

Amy Alkon

ince day one, my boyfriend has been nothing but wonderful, but I treat him badly for no (apparent) reason. Sometimes when we’re together, I’ll suddenly become irritable and moody and snap at him. I always feel bad and apologize afterward, but I know if I keep this up I’m going to lose him. What’s wrong with me, and how can I stop being so difficult? — Hothead And Bothered

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Picture yourself biting your boyfriend’s head off. No, no ... really biting it off, then needing to deal with the ensuing reattachment issues. There you are, going through the Yellow Pages — “Hello, do you do boyfriend head reattachment on Sundays?” Next, imagine if “hitting the ceiling” actually left a big security depositsucking hole over your head, not to mention a steel plate where your scalp used to be. And surely, you’d be a little less likely to “blow your stack” if it brought an army of indignant neighbors to your door: “Excuse us, but would that be your stack scattered across every lawn and flower bed in the neighborhood?” Back here in real life, anger is still colorless, odorless and shapeless, and doesn’t leave so much as an incisor nick on the jugular — and maybe that’s part of the problem. In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to forget that every cutting remark you let fly hacks a chunk out of your relationship. You might try to think of them as verbal vermin — rats you’re releasing to scurry around inside the walls of your relationship and gnaw themselves into a stupor. Keep ‘em coming, and you’ll have little love left, but a lot of rats the size of golden retrievers. There are people out there who never speak a harsh word to anyone. They’re dead. For almost everyone else, it’s a struggle. Take me, for example. To say I’m no Gandhi is something of an understatement, considering my habit of screaming “ENVIRONMENT-HOGGING VULGARIAN!” at strangers driving huge SUVs. Still, I wouldn’t say a cruel word to my boyfriend. In fact, I made a pact with myself never to do it. Number one, because he doesn’t deserve it. But also, because you get the relationship you create. If you’d like to have a loving one, just find a good guy, then be good to him. This is a three-part process: 1. Be sweet to him, 2. Don’t gain 300 pounds, and 3. Keep the bedroom open for business. Yes, it’s

that simple. The bottom line? If you love somebody, make it your policy never to speak or act like you’ve forgotten that — not even while informing him that the “hand lotion sample” he just used up was actually an entire $300 jar of eye cream made from the spit of now-extinct Tibetan sheep. Supposedly, “you catch more flies with honey.” Actually, you catch more flies with a fly swatter. Honey is messy and hard to throw. But once you tire of chasing insects, and get in the mood to persuade the person you love to bend to your will, you should find humor an extremely effective tool. Take persuading me, for example. I have been known to linger a little in getting ready — a process which sometimes involves a lot of getting re-ready (i.e., burning my outfit and starting over). If my boyfriend reacted by griping that I was making us late, I might be tempted to gripe back that rushing me generally doesn’t help me change clothes 40 times any faster. He instead talks to my dog: “Lucy, it’s so sad that all the food will be gone when we get to the restaurant,” which makes me laugh so hard I forget that I meant to go out and mine for coal tar to make my own mascara to wear to dinner. Pardon me, but isn’t that an 800-pound gorilla sitting on your life? There’s some big, hairy problem pressing on you, but you’d rather not look. Instead, you wait until you feel particularly squeezed, then you lash out at your boyfriend — leaving the beast to sit around filing its nails and laughing. Well, it’s time to do a little personal zookeeping. Peer into your life, figure out what’s really weighing on you, then take steps to have it removed. For pointers, turn to “How to Control Your Anger Before It Controls You” by Albert Ellis, Ph.D. Let your boyfriend know how sorry you are, and how you plan to mend your wrathful ways. Should you relapse at first, remind yourself that you’re human, and resolve to do better in the immediate future. Show your boyfriend that you’re sincere in your willingness to change, and even if you “explode with rage” and “have a cow” or two, there’s a very good chance he’ll stick around to help you pick your left eyebrow off the lampshade and make milkshakes.

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GIVE IT A SHOT! SBM, 25, 5’4’’, 180lbs, muscular build, likes bowling, shooting pool, vacationing. Seeking SF, 18-31, for friends first, LTR. !200325 ONE IN A MILLION Clean-cut, easygoing SB, 40. 5’7”, 170lbs, looking for a woman, 22-48, to spend my life with. I know how to treat a woman. I enjoy travel, movies, outdoors and more. !124879 HONESTY IS BEST POLICY Sincere man, 25, works as a cook, and is looking for a woman who believes in honesty and romance. !122303 BLACK TEDDY BEAR SBM, 27, is looking for a Queen, who treats the other person in her life right, and expects the same in return. !123000 GIVE ME A TRY SBM, 25, 5’3”, with a muscular build, seeks a woman for a relationship based on friendship, trust and fun. !993092 HOW DO I SOUND TO YOU? Handsome, financially secure SWM, 54, enjoys the outdoors, long walks, swimming, dining out, biking and much more. Seeking intelligent, caring, trustworthy SW/AF, 3855, for friendship, maybe more. !960841 FRIENDS OR... SWM, 36, 165lbs, athletic type, likes watching movies, some evenings out, dining, dancing. Seeking SW/HF, 20-45, slim to average build, same mindset, for possible LTR. !943034

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METRO SPIRIT - MAY 20, 2004

GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY SWF, 27, 5’2”, average build, Scorpio, smoker, nurse, enjoys going to the ballfield with the kids, having fun with friends. Seeking fun, energetic SWM, 30-42, for friendship, maybe more. !215492 VERY DOWN-TO-EARTH... and open. DWF, 5’11”, 135lbs, enjoys going to movies, outdoors activities, travel and meeting new people. Looking for honest, sincere, trustworthy man, 29-39, for solid friendship first. !996643 MORE THAN JUST AIKEN, SC Do you enjoy travel, reading, church, and children? Call this non-smoking, 43-yearold SBCF if you’re a non-smoking SBCM, 40-55. !206590 BE MY TEDDY BEAR SWF, 32, 5’3’’, 180lbs, auburn/blue, no kids, never married, enjoys movies, sports, travel, dining, bowling, cuddling, quiet evenings. Seeking honest, romantic SBM, similar interests, for dating, possible LTR. !894568 A VERY SERIOUS WOMAN SBPF, 34, mother of 3, nurse, independent and secure, enjoys church, movies, dining. looking for commitment-minded, levelheaded, spiritual, spontaneous, respectful man, who truly appreciates a good woman. Sound like you? !777612 SEARCHING FOR MR RIGHT SBPF, 39, Libra, loves church, traveling, movies, and dining out. Seeking SBPM, 3760, for possible LTR. !421273 MUST LIKE CHILDREN Single parent, 40s, likes reading, outdoor activities, most music, dining out, movies, and quiet times at home. !996641 COMPANIONSHIP DWF, 50, interested in gardening, antiques and traveling. Churchgoer. Seeking DWM, 48-58, for loving, tender relationship. !732056 BIG GIRLS NEED LOVE TOO SBF, 33, Sagittarius, seeking single man, 31-45, for romance, real friendship, possible LTR later. Give me a call. !111717 MAYBE YOU’RE THE ONE? DWF, 52, 5’4”, brown/green, 170lbs, retired, secure, homeowner, loves sailing, cooking, gardening, shooting pool. Seeking considerate, pleasant SWM, who likes the same, for companionship and possible LTR. !980275 NASCAR/ETC MAMMA DWF, young 59, 5’4”, smoker, enjoys all racing, the outdoors, reading, beaches, mountains, motorcycles, fishing, sports and more. Seeking SWM, 54-65, with similar interests, for companionship. !989288 WHOLE LOTTA LOVE SBF, 33, would like to share movies, dinners, quiet evenings at home, the usual dating activities, with a great guy. !463610 OLD-FASHIONED LADY SWCF, 48, 5’3”, 150lbs, blonde/green, Scorpio, N/S, enjoys church, Bible studies, music, dining out. Seeking SWCM, 35-60, N/S, for friendship and more. !840939

SEEKING HONESTY SBF, 37, full-figured enjoys dining out, movies, reading, music, laughter, parks, and much more. Seeking similar SB/WF, 32-50, for friendship, maybe more. !964698 THE BOMB SWF, 18, with a full figure, seeks a male, 18-25, who enjoys movies, dinner, for friendship and possibly more with time. !955355 ENDANGERED SPECIES SBF, 57, average build, independent, likes the good things life has to offer, fun to be with. Seeking SBM, 55-68, independent, honest and caring. !927805 CLOSER TO FINE SBF, 58, retired school teacher, N/S, enjoys traveling and tv. Seeking BM, 50-65, educated (high school at least, please), who enjoys having good clean fun. !909981 ISO CHRISTIAN VALENTINE SWCF, 61, outgoing, Libra, N/S, seeks SWCM, 59-65, with whom to share Christ, friendship, and laughter. Must be family-oriented, kind, outgoing, emotionally/financially secure. Let’s give our friendship a try. !911830 TALL BROWN SUGAR SBF, 25, 5’9”, N/S, enjoys movies, concerts, quiet times, and good music. Seeking WM, 23-30, N/S, no children. !906840 WANNA DANCE? SWF, 57, seeks dance partner for Salsa and Square Dancing! Any size, shape, big or tall, short or small, matters not! It’s the footwork that counts! Beginner-intermediate level. !898986 I WANT TO LOVE YOU SBF, 18, 5’2”, Cancer, enjoys writing poetry, walks on the beach, hanging out and enjoying life. Seeking BM, 18-24, who will treat her right, and expects the same in return. !880193 WAITING FOR YOU SB mom, 24, Virgo, seeks a man for days at the park, the mall, or at the movies, and spending time with family and friends. !883496 HIKER HEAVEN SWF, 45, full-figured, N/S, enjoys church, exploring, old movies, auctions, and gym. Seeking WM, 46-56, N/S. Let’s make tracks together. !807679 ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE Honest SWF, 28, 5’10”, 210lbs, blonde/blue, enjoys classic rock, horror movies, and quiet nights at home. Seeking SW/HM, 18-40, for friendship, possible LTR. !874789 LOVE OF LIFE Attractive, classy, vivacious SWCF, 50ish, N/S, N/D, seeks SWCM, N/S, N/D, who is honest, financially/mentally secure, and ready for commitment. !875741 SIMPLE KIND OF LIFE SWF, 34, listens to country and oldies music, and wants to meet a man to cuddle up on the couch and watch a good movie, or enjoy other simple pleasures. !860787 DREAM GUY SBF, 29, searching for open-minded, outgoing SM, 22-38, military man A+, for friendship, fun nights out, dancing, talks and maybe more. !836990 SOMEONE TO LOVE SWF, 48, enjoys a good horror movie, a drama or a comedy. Seeking a man for romance, quiet times at home, or just dancing the night away! !832399

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To respond to ads using a PLEASE, PLEASE ME SWM, 32, N/S, N/D, is looking for a woman, 27-35, with a petite build, to share good times, conversations and maybe more. !871092 WELL-ROUNDED MAN Educated SBPM, 41, 5’11”, loves reading, working out, the arts, dining out, travel, quiet times. Would like to meet SWF, 30-45, with similar interests, for fun, friendship, and maybe more. !442021

SEEKS MAN WITH DIRECTION GBM, 33, Capricorn, N/S, seeks understanding, level-headed, secure GBM, 2548, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. !854633 ANYBODY OUT THERE? GHM, 21, Pisces, smoker, into muscle cars, salsa dancing, cats, gardening and landscaping. Seeking GM, 18-40, for companionship, possible LTR. !214399 THE MISSING PIECE Laid-back SBM, 22, Sagittarius, N/S, seeks a very special SBM, 18-35, to help complete me. !215040 FUN-FILLED DAYS AWAIT SBM, 24, enjoys taking trips, nice restaurants, fun evenings, dancing, quality time together. Seeking masculine SBM, 20-55, for possible relationship. !894435 FUN TO HANG AROUND WITH GWM, 52, 5’2”, smoker, enjoys playing pool, having fun, seeks outgoing GWM, 4055, smoker, with similar interests. !844895 TAKE A CHANCE GWM, 43, 6’2”, 195lbs, black brown, seeks other GWM, for fun times and maybe something more. !493530 SEND ME AN ANGEL SBM, 31, seeking serious, open-minded, down-to-earth guy, 30-45, likes hanging out at home, movies. Friendship comes first, possible LTR. No drama! !111070 CALL ON ME SWM, 43, 5’10”, 160lbs, blond/blue, loves the outdoors, dogs, fishing. Seeking SW/HM, 21-35, similar interests, friends first, maybe more. !113631 TIME AFTER TIME SM, 38, is an easygoing guy looking for another guy to spend time with, and share a good friendship. !993392 DOGGONE LOVEABLE SWM, 37, Gemini, smoker, nature and animal lover (especially puppies), seeks outgoing, down-to-earth man, 20-70, for friendship. !909184 RELAXING AT HOME SBM, 35, Virgo, N/S, likes relaxing at home, fun, concerts, trips going to the beach. Seeks fun, spontaneous SBM, 26-37, N/S. !532700 IS IT YOU? Simple, easygoing SM, 47, enjoys bowling, music, cooking, more. Seeking outgoing lady for good times, talks, friendship and possible LTR. !975288 GLOVERVILLE GUY GWM, Capricorn, N/S, loves bars, karaoke, cooking out, and pool. Seeking GWM, 2849, smoker, to cuddle up with. !936256 LET’S SADDLE UP SWM, 27, 5’8”, brown/brown, Virgo, smoker, loves horses, camping (with or without the horses), and traveling. Seeking man, 25-40, who can ride, ride, ride. !921725

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 20, 2004

How do you

LOOKING FOR COOL CAT... to converse with. SBM, 34, Capricorn, N/S, game and drama-free, seeks BM, 26-48, serious-minded, with sense of direction in life. !889038 LET’S GET TOGETHER GWPM, 37, 5’9”, brown/brown, who enjoys reading, movies, politics, entertainment, seeks a guy for dating, possibly growing into more. !883365 EASY TO TALK TO SWM, 48, loves good Italian or French cuisine, and is looking for a man who is easy to get along with, for romance. !870126 GREAT PERSONALITY SBM, 18, 6’3”, 220lbs, masculine build, seeking SBM, 18-29, very masculine, energetic, fun-loving, to go out for dinners, walks and more. !627150

SINGLE MOM Beautiful, plus-sized SF, 29, likes dining out, going to movies, clubs occasionally, cuddling. Looking for outgoing, fun SF, 25-38, for dating, possibly becoming serious. !997153 1 YOU’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR BiWF, 27, enjoys everything, promises you won’t regret it. If you’re looking for a good time and friendship, I’ll be perfect for you. !830500

HELLO LADIES SWF, 30, Leo, N/S, enjoys movies, trips to the lake, seeks feminine woman, 24-40, BBW a plus, for friendship, possible serious relationship !213937 EXCITING BLACK FEMALE, 31 Looking for someone who is loving, kind, caring, enjoys a good time, willing to try new things to add some spice to life. If that’s you, give me a call. !218927 READY TO HAVE FUN! SF, 25, seeks femme, 25-35, race not important, who is nice, pretty, slim. Let’s talk and get to know one another! !895256 GIVE ME A CALL This SBF in Aiken, South Carolina is 33, 5’8”, 150lbs, a smoker, and seeking a very attractive, feminine, fun-loving SBF for movies, walks, and clubbing occasionally. Ages: 30 to 40. !204355 I HAVE GOOD QUALITIES Employed, nice SBF (lives in SC) is hardworking but will make time for the right SBF. She’s 34, 5’4”, brown-complected, medium-built, brown-eyed. Enjoy tv, cuddling, fishing, bowling, movies, travel, beaches. !207637 INTERESTED? SBF, 35, loves reading (Stephen King and Anne Rice), listening to alternative music, as well as jazz. Seeking a woman with similar tastes. !990549 GOOD COMPANY SBF, 27, wants to meet a friend for hanging out, shopping, having fun and enjoying good company. !990953

ENJOY MY TIME SBM, 46, 5’8”, 190lbs, looking for SB/WF, 25-50, N/S, likes watching tv, going to the movies, cooking. Friendship and romantic times first, maybe more. !945941 VELVET TEDDY BEAR SBM, 37, Sagittarius, N/S, in construction field, seeks an intelligent, attractive woman, 23-45, with healthy full figure, loving, caring, affectionate. !936899 NEW TO AREA SBM, 41, 6’3”, 205lbs, brown eyes, handsome, Libra, N/S, ISO honest, sincere, fullfigured woman, 20-60, race unimportant. !928684 I GIVE GOOD LOVE SM, 28, 5’5”, N/S, Virgo, enjoys sports, bowling, movies, going out, quiet times. Seeking a single lady, 26-34, same interests, for dating, possibly more. !957932 LOVES TO MAKE YOU LAUGH SBM, 37, 5’8”, slim build, Aquarius, smoker, disc jockey and pest control technician, seeks woman, 25-41, just as a friend. !939056 TAKE A CHANCE SM, 39, 6’, 240lbs, laid-back, artistic, loves life and trying new things. Seeking SF for fun times, friendship, casual dates and maybe more. !976288 ARE YOU OUT THERE? SWM, 56, 135lbs, athletic build, employed, likes movies, quiet conversations, gospel music, C&W, snuggling and good company. Seeking SF, slim-average build, to share a lasting loving relationship. !979620 LET ME LOVE YOU SWM, 37, 6’, 200lbs, Cancer, N/S, in construction work, loves camping. Looking to meet a nice WF, 40-60, with whom to share what lovers do. !908620 JUST LET ME KNOW SWM, 27, 5’10”, 165lbs, enjoys dining out, movies, music, conversation, traveling, romance, laughter and more. Seeking outgoing, intelligent, humorous SW/BF, 18-30, for companionship. !956434 PRINCE SBM, 27, 5’11”, 165lbs, enjoys music, travel, reading, dining. Seeking a woman who is outgoing, attractive, with similar interests for possible LTR. !954917 NO MORE GAMES SWM, 34, 6’4”, 190lbs, is in great shape, and is looking for a woman who keeps herself healthy and believes in honesty. !955377 SEEKING SOMEONE SPECIAL SBM, 61, Virgo, smoker, likes reading, movies, dining out, travel. Seeking outgoing, caring woman, 18-55, with similar interests, for LTR. !850674 ME AND MISS LADY SBM, 38, 6’1”, professional cook, likes sports, looking for a lady, 28-42, likes quiet times, walks in the park, family, fun. Does this sound like you? !951742 WHAT A CATCH Slim SBM, 22, 5’10”, green eyes, looking for a laid-back, cool girl, 18-29, very attractive, open mind. Let’s talk. !952108 MUCH TO OFFER SHM, 58, 5’10”, 185lbs, salt-n-pepper hair, retired, Virgo, N/S, loves trailer camping, mountains, beaches. Seeking WF, 48-62, N/S, retired a+. !937107 LOVEABLE TEDDY BEAR SBM, 38, 6’2”, Cancer, smoker, loves sports, dinner, dancing, movies. Seeking woman, 20-45, smoker, to kick up her heels with me. !938554 A LITTLE TLC DWM, 49, 5’11”, 195lbs, homeowner, financially secure, enjoys cooking, home life, motorcycle riding. Looking for attractive WF, 35-50, with similar interests. !938440

WHY NOT CALL? SBF, 41, seeks goal-oriented, caring SBF with children ok, for friendship, dating and possible relationship. !976521 SOMETHING SPECIAL DWF, 45, 5’8”, 145lbs, two kids at home, loves heavy metal music. Seeking SWF, 30-50, likes being around kids, for possible LTR. !945525 AFRICAN-AMERICAN STUD Open-minded, spontaneous, laid-back SBF, 23, Pisces, N/S, loves R&B and oldschool music. Seeking feminine woman, 25-50, race not important, who loves to have fun. !919677 WAITING FOR YOU SBF, 19, is in search of a friend first, maybe more with time, with a lady who likes to get out and have fun. !874312 BONEVILLE BABE SWF, 31, 5’5”, 130lbs, brown/green, smoker, enjoys playing golf, movies, and picnics at the lake. Seeking WF, 25-40, for friends, possibly more. !818908 A LOT TO OFFER Non-smoking GBF, 37, N/S, seeks very attractive, unique, romantic, fun, intelligent, feminine GF, 27-37, for friendship, dating, possibly more. !749660 JUST THE FACTS SBPF, 41, Libra, N/S, seeks PF, age and race unimportant, who enjoys dining out, quiet times at home, and movies, for LTR. !730225

May Member

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Classifieds Alt. Lifestyles

THE COLISEUM Open Mon-Fri 8pm-3am Sat 8pm-2:30am

Fri & Sat. No Cover Before 10 p.m.

Call 738-1142 to place your Classified ad today!

Computer Services

For the most convenience ser vice,

Premier Entertainment Complex & High Energy Dance Music

there is no doubt, let the Computer Guy help you out... Call him, he’ll come to you!

Friday, May 21st

Lady Chablis from the movie Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil

7 0 6 /3 6 4 -7 3 9 9

Saturday, May 22nd

Mind, Body & Spirit

Gabriel’s Best Chest Contest

(coming) Thursday, June

Do you need to Forgive Someone? Perhaps you should try

3rd

Miss Coliseum New Comer Pageant WEDNESDAY’S Free Well Drinks 10 - 12 • $5.00 Beer Bust THURSDAY’S Karaoke with Dana • $50 bar prize FRI & SAT $2.00 Well Drinks • $2.00 Domestic From 9 pm - 11 pm

706-733-2603

Evonne Santoni’s Birthday Bash

The Event of the Year

Wed, May 26th with special guests Paula Sinclair, Lauren Alexander, Ravin Lorraine, Sasha and Lexus Alexander Showtime @ 11:00

RADICAL Forgiveness

Let go of the past and create a new Positive Future. An Easy, Step-by-Step Process that really works! Positive Image Awareness Center, Inc. 116 Shaw Street, Martinez, GA 30907 (706) 210-4849 | www.RadicalForgiveness.com

www.augusta-gay-clubs.com

READINGS BY

R E A D I N G S

Mrs. Graham, Psychic Reader, Advises on all affairs of life, such as love, marriage, and business. She tells your past, present and future. Mrs. Graham does palm, tarot card, and Chakra balancing. She specializes in relationships and reuniting loved ones.

SPECIAL READINGS WITH CARD

C A R D

341 S. Belair Rd. Open from 9 a.m. til 9 p.m. Call (706) 733-5851

Full Body Massage! Therapeutic tension relief, intense or tender touch, relaxing music, aromatherapy, by appointment only - $49.00/hr. Call Joy - 706-771-9470 or John - 803-361-8811 (05/20#8443)

Music

Aiken’s Ultimate Dance Club

! !

Thursday, May 20

! !

Friday, May 21

! !

! $1.00 Draft Every Night All Night

DJ Bruce + Free Pool -

No Cover

DJ Mark’s Dance Night & Drag Show w/host Taylor Wanaman & Guests Saturday, May 22

DJ Mark’s Dance Night and Male go-go Dance Drag Show

Sunday, May 22

Our Go-Go Dancing is in DJ Mark’s Dance Night & compliance with Aiken City Codes and Ordinances Drag Show w/host Miss Peg & Guests

141 Marlboro Street, N.E. Aiken S.C. • 803-644-6485

DRIVERS needed for restaurant delivery. Earn cash daily as an independent contractor. Set your own schedule with this BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY. Call 706-364-4460 www.2go-box.com/businessopp.html (05/27#8445)

Call 738-1142 to place your Classified ad!

GUARANTEED SOLUTIONS

Miscellaneous For Sale King Size Canopy Waterbed Mirrors on ceiling, 6 drawers underneath, 2 cabinets at head. Bench seat at foot and TV arm support. Heater, mattress and side rails. Good condition $1200.00.OBO Call 803-279-2654 (05/20#8446)

www.metrospirit.com Religion Meditation & Buddhism Weekly Classes, Tuesdays, 7-8:30pm, April-June 22nd at the Unitarian Church of Augusta, 3501 Walton Way Ex tension, Ganden Buddhist Center, Everyone is welcome! (No Class 4/20 & 6/1) Call (803) 256-0150 or www.MeditationInSouthCarolina.org for more info. (05/20#8425) Metropolitan Community Church of Our Redeemer A Christian Church reaching to all: including Gay, Lesbian, and Transgendered Christians. Meeting at 557 Greene Street, 11 am and 6 pm each Sunday. 722-6454 MCCOurRedeemer@aol.com www.mccoor.com (05/20#8128)

LICENSED • INSURED

706-869-9988

www.sundownconstruction.com Love’s Wedding Chapel All types of ceremonies NO BLOOD TEST!!!! NO WAITING PERIOD!!!! Love & Light Healing Center 2477 Wrightsboro Road 706-733-8550 or cell 951-1300 (05/20#8370)

Telephone Service Unlimited Long-Distance & Local Calling One Price, One Bill, One Company Keep Your Same Phone # Call 1-800-392-4050 Eula NEX X Independent Rep www.nex xrep.com/134741 (05/20#8439)

Travel

1998 F150 4 X 4 Towing/Offroad Package Tinted Windows/Sliding Rear Window 5.4 Liter V8, 154,000 miles Black on gray, runs great, excellent truck, $8,800 Call 803-221-6760 (05/20#8452)

SUMMER WORK

$250 - $500 a Week Will train to work at home Helping the US Government file HUD/FHA mor tgage refunds No experience necessary Call Toll Free 1-866-537-2907 (05/20#8449)

• French Drains • Gutter Drains • Catch Basins • Erosion Control • Waterproofing • Crawl Space

Truck For Sale

Help Wanted

$12.25 guar/appt. flex schedules, advancement oppty’s. Will train. Sales/ Service. Conditions apply. All ages 18+. Call 706-855-5757 www.summerworknow.com (05/20#8428)

Get Answers Angel Reading Sessions Love & Light Healing Center 2477 Wrightsboro Road 733-8550 or cell 951-1300 (05/20#8451)

Poor Water Drainage?

thank you

••••• FOR SUPPORTING OUR ADVERTISERS

We want your dead junk or scrap car bodies. We tow away and for some we pay. 706/829-2676

Business Opportunities

Steven D. Kaplan Radical Forgiveness Coach

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 6, 2004

DOORS OPEN AT 9:00 • 18 to Party • 21 to Drink

>> No Cover With This Ad <<

Services

1632 Walton Way • Augusta, GA

MRS. GRAHAM

MARLBORO STATION

Pilates

Wheels

Dead Bodies Wanted OR

706/798-9060

11th annual

Blues Festival Saturday, May 22, 2004

! MARCIA BALL " PINETOP PERKINS

BOB MARGOLIN JIMMY THACKERY WOODY MANN MARY FLOWER THE REDSTICK RAMBLERS

{

GATES OPEN 11 A.M. RAIN OR SHINE. MUSIC STARTS AT NOON. $15 advance | $20 at the gate

www.tixonline.com or call 706.597.1000.

Festival site: 2 miles north of I-20 exit 172 at Thomson. No coolers, pets, cooking or camping. Food and drink available. Sponsored by the Activities Council of Thomson | P.O. Box 674 | Thomson, GA 30824 www.blindwillie.com Artwork by Keith Rasmussen

}