Metro Spirit 05.22.2003

May 22-28

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Issue 42

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w w w. m e t s p i r i t . c o m

The Metropolitan

Arts, Issues & Entertainment

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GREENJACKETS vs. BRAVES

Contents DUI

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The Metropolitan Spirit

M AY

2 2 - 2 8

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F R E E

W E E K LY

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M E T S P I R I T. C O M

ON THE COVER

Storm Chasers

By Brian Neill ......................................14

Free Phone Call

William Sussman

———ATTORNEY AT LAW ———

Cover Design: Stephanie Bell

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Whine Line ......................................................................4 Words ...............................................................................4 This Modern World .........................................................4 Suburban Torture ............................................................7 Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down ............................................7 Letters to the Editor .......................................................8 Austin Rhodes .................................................................9 Insider ............................................................................10

Metro Beat

HUD Cracking Down on Transition Centers, Inc. .......12

Arts

On the Bricks Concert Series Returns ...........................................40

Events

8 Days a Week .............................................................24

Cinema

Movie Listings .............................................................34 Review: “Bruce Almighty” ..........................................37 Review: “Down With Love” .........................................38 Movie Clock ..................................................................38

Music

On the Bricks Concert Series Returns .......................40 Moniker Updates the Art of Jazz ................................41 Music By Turner ............................................................42 Music Minis ...................................................................42 Night Life .......................................................................43

Stuff News of the Weird ........................................................45 Brezsny's Free Will Astrology ......................................46 New York Times Crossword Puzzle ............................46 Amy Alkon: The Advice Goddess ................................47 Classifieds .....................................................................48 Date Maker ...................................................................50 Automotive Classifieds ................................................51

EDITOR & PUBLISHER David Vantrease ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Rhonda Jones STAFF WRITERS Stacey Eidson, Brian Neill ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Joe White ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Kriste Lindler, Jennifer H. Mar tin PRODUCTION MANAGER Joe Smith GR APHIC ARTISTS Stephanie Bell, Natalie Holle ASSISTANT TO THE PUBLISHER Meli Gurley RECEPTIONIST/CLASSIFIED COORDINATOR Sharon King ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT ASSISTANT Lisa Jordan CIRCULATION DIRECTOR Meli Gurley SENIOR MUSIC CONTRIBUTOR Ed Turner CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Chuck Shepherd, Rob Brezsny, Austin Rhodes, Amy Alkon, Rachel Deahl CARTOONISTS Tom Tomorrow, Julie Larson

THE METROPOLITAN SPIRIT is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks of the year. Editorial coverage includes ar ts, local issues, news, enter tainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publishers. Visit us at www.metspirit.com. Copyright © The Metropolitan Spirit Inc. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited.

Phone: (706) 738-1142 Fax: (706) 733-6663 E-mail: spirit@metspirit.com Letters to the Editor: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, Ga. 30914-3809

S P I R I T M A Y

Opinion

Spoleto Festival U.S.A. Brings World-Class Arts to Charleston .....................................................................22 Atlanta Film Festival Offers Smorgasbord of Cinema ..........................................................................31 Go “Into the Woods” and Beyond “Happily Ever After” .............................................................................32 Travel Back in Time on Beech Island Heritage Day ..33

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4 M E T R O S P I R I T M A Y 2 2 2 0 0 3

Whine Line B

en Harbin reports that the tech school campus for Columbia County is in the 2007 state budget plan, but the furniture is in the 2005 plan. Where are the storage funds?

Just how stupid is the Georgia do-nothing Legislature? As a working stiff, it appears to me that our legislators spend too much time on worthless issues like sweet iced tea, helmet laws and pork projects instead of concentrating on Georgia’s future in the world of commerce as well as support of its residents.

looking through rose-colored glasses when he talks about how great Governor Perdue is. It’s easy to see that Perdue is out of touch with Georgians and spinning in circles while pleasing no one.

Fleming would be smart to distance himself from a governor who thinks a tax increase is medicine to help pay for a bloated state budget. Governor Perdue took the “chicken” way out of a budget crunch and Fleming joined him. And these guys call themselves conservative Republicans?

Last week’s Spirit article on Morris’ Chronicle election predictions versus outcomes was enlightening. Maybe Billy’s boys should team with Austin Rhodes and produce a combined prediction that could be called “The Ten Top Losers” by Two Who Know!

I don’t know why the same guy keeps saying there’s no women/men to date. I work in a store for snotty rich people and I see a lot of “9’s” and “10’s” and as soon as I lose 100 pounds and become good-looking, I’ll get one of ‘em myself. And the sky is a beautiful pink in my world, too.

Lowell Greenbaum is an idiot. Is that the best local Democrats can do? His diatribe against everything Republican is symptomatic of the sad state of the Democratic Party. Sheesh!

This mandatory trash pickup that we pay for in our taxes is a joke! If you put anything out beyond your trash can they say you are “taking advantage of them.” Excuse me but aren’t you supposed to take advantage of a service that you pay for?

It seems like too many damn things are geared toward teenagers these days, and teenagers are a lot less mature than they were even 20 years ago. Today’s 16-yearold is more like 12. They do not need to be driving. Current scientific studies show that even at age 19 people cannot interpret someone’s facial expressions to understand emotion. You are not emotionally mature, biologically speaking, until age 25.

I can’t believe how much money people waste on organic (and isn’t all carbonbased life organic?) food and hippie dippie, soynut, granola crunch doused with moose sweat crap. Then climb into an 11mpg vehicle and dose their brain with radiation from their cellphone. If you want to waste some money I’d like one of those Tivo things. Just buy me one already!

Representative Fleming should quit

What a waste of paper and ink, Spirit! I’m still trying to figure out why you gave Lowell Greenbaum so much space and ink last week. Have you stooped so low that you must print dribble from an aging crackpot? Was it a joke? Other than confirming my opinion of Greenbaum, about all the article did for me was raise my blood pressure to an unhealthy level. In the interest of sanity and my good health, keep that guy as far from the public eye as you possibly can. At the very least, warn us next time.

If Sonny Pittman is the only wannabe commissioner Augusta has to offer God help us all! Thanks to Billy Morris and Leadership Augusta for doing Augusta in.

They’re still having segregated proms in central Georgia? Why am I not surprised?

Words “The current preponderance of our military power, combined with our overweening, xenophobic fear of the rest of the world, has corrupted all rational thought. Sadly, no one will listen to the mayor of Hiroshima, who last month wrote [President George] Bush to warn that new U.S. nuclear weapons development represented a frontal attack on the process of nuclear disarmament. But why listen to someone from Hiroshima? What do those people know about weapons of mass destruction?”

— From a column by Robert Scheer of the Los Angeles Times, which reappeared in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

“This is a man’s tour. There are guys out there trying to make a living. It’s not a ladies’ tour. If she wants to play, she should — or any other woman for that matter — if they want to play the man’s tour, they should qualify and play like everybody else.”

— Golf champ Vijay Singh, as quoted by the Associate Press, regarding LPGA champion Annika Sorenstam’s playing in the men’s Colonial Golf Tournament in Texas.

The students who are in favor of this stupid practice call it a “tradition.” Making black people drink from different water fountains and hanging them from trees used to be a “tradition,” too. But the rural areas are several decades behind the times, anyway. Maybe after they learn the meaning of integration, they can learn about

electricity and traffic lights. Idiots!

Why would someone want to waste a Saturday morning fixing problems with Sen. Joey Brush? He couldn’t fix a problem even if someone handed him the instructions on a platter. Brush and his continued on page 6

5 M E T R O S P I R I T M A Y 2 2 2 0 0 3

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continued from page 4 toothpaste ad smile are so fake. And besides, Brush is either absent or late for most public meetings unless it’s election time.

Now that Lee Muns is elected chairman of the Columbia County Republican Party, all of a sudden he’s all about unity. Where was Muns when Alvin Stark was the chairman? You guessed it. Sitting on the sidelines with his political cronies Norwood, Harbin and Brush doing nothing to support the party or Stark. Seeing all their recent negative publicity in the newspapers, they should have stayed on the sidelines.

George Bush said tonight that he was going to find those responsible for the bombing at Riyadh and deal with them. He doesn’t have a good record on finding people. He can’t find Osama. He can’t find Saddam. He can’t find any weapons of mass destruction. What he can find is another tax cut for the rich and shift more and more of the tax burden over to the poor and middle class. I don’t think he can find his backside with both hands.

Wouldn’t it be great if CSRA churches of all faiths and religions came together on a mission for teens? This mom thinks area youths of all faiths need a safe non-smoking teen town. The churches could pool resources and buy the defunct water park.

It’s the perfect teen club; in fact it was built for kids. The facility was recently built so it’s in great shape. The average kids could

have a whole lot more fun at a water park as opposed to nightclub atmosphere a la dancing on the bar.

Paving the path at the canal is a dumb idea. What’s next, a McDonald’s drivethrough?

We vote Frank Spears out of office in Columbia County; now he appears on Austin Rhodes show ad nauseam. We can’t get rid of this guy!

Really, let’s look at the facts. Bush said that we have to attack Iraq because it had weapons of mass destruction, weapons that the United Nations couldn’t find and neither can we. Instead of ensuring that innocent citizens have food and protection, we made sure that the oil fields and the oil ministry were protected, while looting was rampant and destruction of antiquities was extensive.

Oil companies close to the Bush and Cheney families receive non-bid locative contracts to rebuild the oil infrastructure that we destroyed. No it’s not about the oil; it’s about the oil profits that Bush’s friends will receive.

Then this uninformed whiner states that we wouldn’t be complaining about the (obvious) oil connection if we had relatives in one of those Twin Towers that were blown up. Hey dummy, Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11.

There were 11 Saudis involved. Going on your premise, we should have attacked Saudi Arabia. Someone really goofed, huh?

I thought it was so cool that you placed This Modern World on the same page as the Whine Line contribution thanking you for discontinuing it. Priceless.

The Augusta water department must have taken lessons from Enron in accounting!

They have read my meter for three weeks, for which I must pay the minimum of $19.95 for 1,000 gallons. The next reading was for five weeks, which made it over 1,000-2,000 for which I was billed $22.15.

Instead of paying $39.90 for two months, I paid $42.10. It isn’t much, but when you multiply it by all the households, it should add up to a tidy sum. Thanks Augusta!

Could it be those “Texas Democratic Cowboys” loaded a heifer-sized page right out of the Augusta commissioners’ playbook? You know the book with the yellow cover entitled “Robert’s Rules of Disorder for Dummies: The Fun and Easy Way To Avoid Those Pesky Quorums.” With over a million copies in print, this best-seller was highly endorsed by the Coliseum Authority. And, after all, those folks really know how to have a meeting!

To the whiner who took offense to the “Modern World” (May 8-14) caption of the “Kid With No Arm”: He states that the child lost his limbs in 1999. Really? Well if that were true, which I doubt, where are the photos of the thousands of children shredded by “daisy cutters” and other weapons?

The right-wing media won’t show them.

And let’s be honest here: The right-wing media owns the news and Bush can do no wrong in their eyes. The Bush administra-

tion is responsible for the deaths of thousands, so that they could get the oil. Wake up people. There is blood on your hands.

To the whiner addressing the Richmond County commissioners: You haven’t seen anything bad compared to Sheriff Whittle and the Columbia County Sheriff’s Department administration (the highest-paid employees). The primary use of county vehicles by the nine-to-five, Mondaythrough-Friday employees when they are on duty is for their two-hour lunch in Richmond County. These guys have no need for county vehicles and are abusing our tax dollars since they are in offices all day, except for lunch. But I guess they are needed for the drive to and from home as well as personal errands — a great use of tax dollars.

This is to the snubbing idiot who wrote in to complain about lawn men. Do you have any clue how hard these men work? Just imagine if you had to get out of your pretty little office space and work your behind off in 90-plus degree weather all summer long. Who do you think makes Augusta the “Garden City” anyway? Get a clue. It isn’t you. Cut these men a break.

You wouldn’t last out there for a day!

While I understand the rights of a private entity to block views of their property, the taxpayers that financed the Augusta Golf & Gardens should be able to view it as they go by. To deny this smacks of feudalism and reduces aesthetics for everyone.

The Canal Authority must have designed this place.

Tom Swift, I agree with you that we need to use our Farmer’s Market and support our local farmers. Restaurant owners should buy their vegetables from the Farmer’s Market and that would help the local economy. I will go always go to local restaurants that have a sign in the window (We Support Local Farmers).

JULIE

LARSON

M A Y 2 2 2 0 0 3

To the person saying there is nothing to do in Augusta: It’s not where you are; it’s who you are with. I personally have a good time having teenagers shout and throw things at me when I walk down Washington Road.

Thank God for the whine about the gullible Republican. They had a choice between a great man like John McCain and George W., and they picked the idiot Bush baby.

— Call our Whine Line at 510-2051 and leave your comments. We won’t use your name. Fax your whines by dialing (706) 733-6663 or e-mail your whines to whine@metspirit.com.

such a move is in the works after repeated accidents resulting from westbound motorists attempting to make left-hand turns into businesses, have occurred.

ble for selling their 2002 SEC championship rings and 10 Georgia Tech football players have been declared academically ineligible next year. In a state where football reigns king, it appears poor judgment and lousy grades are ruling these schools’ athletic programs.

M E T R O S P I R I T

For the person whining about the privatization and $39 a month probation fee: What this person does not understand, is that the person who is on probation has to pay a fee to the state or county regardless of whether it is private or state or anything else. So there is always a fee to be paid. It doesn’t matter if you are rich or poor.

Thumbs Down College sport fans all over Georgia are hanging their heads in shame this week and wondering if there will be anyone left on the football field for the 2003 season.

Last week, <it>The Atlanta JournalConstitution<it> reported that nine UGA football players have been declared ineligi-

BY

I’m sorry — you say you have been here since 1973? Shazaam! You could have saved us from DeVaney, Young, Al Sharpton, Don King, Rodney King, the butcher, the baker, and the candlestick maker.

Thumbs Up It’s about time Columbia County got turn lanes on Washington Road near some of its busiest shopping and commerce areas. A story in The Augusta Chronicle reported that

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Letters to the Editor

Reader Takes Exception to Lowell Greenbaum’s Comments Dear Editor,

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Democratic Party President Lowell Greenbaum has been frothing at the mouth about how bad a job President George Bush has been doing. Funny, the president’s popularity ratings fail to back that up. I understand it’s Greenbaum’s job to toss assaults at his Republican adversaries hoping some will stick, but his message is poisoned with — disingenuousness, as well as a far left liberalism not very popular in today’s world. His rhetoric reeks of the awful smell of outspoken Hollywood elites such as Barbara Streisand, Alec Baldwin, Martin Sheen and in particular the sleazy tub of lard Michael Moore.

He mentioned if Clinton ran against Bush today he’d bet Clinton would win.

I’ll take that bet. How sad seemingly intelligent people such as Greenbaum put a higher value on their bank account than on protecting our citizens, or on morality for that matter. No wonder our children

are in so much trouble. Clinton was not much of a man, and certainly no role model for our children.

Greenbaum is a dinosaur. I have watched the Republican Party’s graying over the years. The older a person gets, the more conservative they become. The college kids that protest war are no different than the young protesters of the ‘60s and ‘70s.

The liberally pure ambitions of our youth slowly give way as they become more experienced in life, they come to understand that liberal policies represent an assault on morality. The liberal youth of today are the Republicans of tomorrow.

Mr. Greenbaum can go on doing his job.

He and his fellow Clinton fan club members, Paul Cook and Anne Cook, can throw all the verbal garbage they want at George W. Bush, but they will not take down this honest and hard-working president. There is simply not enough truth in their message.

— Lawrence Smith

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Claims Austin Is Misguided Dear Editor, I would like to respond to the Austin Rhodes May 08, 2003 Metropolitan Spirit article concerning The Industry, a local teen club. First, Mr. Rhodes suggests that parents in the CSRA are not being responsible if they allow their teenage children to patronize the teen club. Second, he suggests that Mr. Andreax Jarre, the owner of The Industry, is the cause of local teen girls parading themselves in bikinis. In my opinion, Austin Rhodes is misguided on both points.

Concerning the first point, Mr. Rhodes is unjustifiably trying to scare parents into his way of thinking, as if Augusta needs more Rhodes robots. For as General George Patton said, “If everybody is thinking alike, then somebody isn’t thinking.” Or maybe he hopes enough credulous readers will buy into his fear inducing rhetoric, thus turning public opinion against that popular teen club. At least Mr. Jarre’s teen club does not serve liquor, beer or wine for human consumption. How many of Augusta’s restaurants can make that boast? How come Mr. Rhodes does not vehemently speak out against those establishments, which serve that insidious product.

Alcohol has harmed more individuals and families than teen dancing and bikini-

wearing will ever do. Furthermore, Mr Rhodes has absolutely no evidence to support his suggestion that each teenager who patronizes The Industry is in imminent danger of being harmed.

Concerning the second point, Mr. Rhodes takes the path of least resistance on the bikini issue. Perhaps he does not want to offend his faithful followers or bread-and-butter sponsors. Mr. Rhodes should know the basic problem is not the bikini or Mr. Jarre’s teen club. Just like the basic problem is not the drug or the drug pusher, alcohol or the package store.

The basic problem lies within the individual. Therefore, Mr. Jarre should not be held responsible because teenage girls want to flaunt themselves in bikinis. The adult women are the role models for the teenage girls. CSRA teenage girls want to publicly parade themselves in bikinis, it’s because CSRA adult women publicly parade themselves in bikinis. For this reason, the trail of responsibility begins in the liberal and conservative home and leads throughout the entire CSRA. Typically, Mr. Rhodes endeavors to lead his faithful followers into believing that liberals and sinners are the cause of each real or imagined social evil, thus absolving them of any responsibility.

— Kevin A. Palmer

Opinion: Austin Rhodes

The Truth Hurts When Examining Local Voter Trends

I

had a very interesting exchange the other day with a caller to my afternoon radio show. I had just made a pretty definitive statement, fairly straightforward, certainly with little wiggle room for interpretation.

The caller asked whether I had made the statement to get a laugh from the audience, to light up the phone lines, or to outrage the population in general.

My answer? I made the statement because the statement is true.

Here it is: When examining CSRA voter trends there is distinct and direct proof that “left of center” causes and candidates are overwhelmingly supported by voters in poor and depressed neighborhoods, conversely, “right of center” causes and candidates are overwhelmingly supported by voters in affluent neighborhoods.

That is the statement suitable for textbook publication. Water-cooler conversationalists would likely put it this way: In our area, smart achievers vote conservative, poor dullards vote liberal.

The truth hurts like a booger, but the truth is the truth.

Now, there are notable exceptions that make the above statement far from being absolute. But we are not talking individual exceptions; we are talking neighborhood trends.

The caller was incredulous, and quite put off that I refused to back down from the assertion. What troubled him more was my challenge. He stated doubt about my theory, and to show him my faith in the statement, I bet him $1,000 in cash that my statement was provable. He didn’t take the bet.

He then asked me why, in my mind, the trend was true. Very simple answer there: Achievers want someone who will look after their interests; underachievers want the same thing.

Conservatives believe achievers should keep as much of their hard-earned money as possible. Many underachievers participate in government benefits (food stamps, Medicaid etc.) that are funded by the achievers’ dollars. Liberals seek to make access to those benefits as easy and painless as possible.

Conservatives want a tough justice system, because often, it is their wealth and well-being that is threatened by the criminal element. Liberals want a forgiving justice system, because so many of their own end up being prosecuted by it.

While it is clear that the local voter trends run just as I describe them, there are pockets of “liberal achievers,” particularly in the West and Northeast, that buck our backyard example.

But take a look at some of these areas — San Francisco; Boston; Washington, D.C., etc. — and you will find confiscatory tax rates, and crime problems that are quickly sending those who can afford

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to move, out of the “city proper.” Down South the trend in the city of Atlanta has gone much the same direction.

The disturbing reality that many conservatives face is that those on the opposite end of the spectrum are beginning to outnumber us. “One man, one vote” means that the magna cum laude CEO of a Fortune 500 company has the same weight at the polls as an unemployed crack addict. As many in the aforementioned cities have learned, when the underachievers and their misguided “limousine liberal” buddies learn that they can assemble in numbers strong enough to control the local, state and federal governments, we are all in very deep trouble.

The central controlling document of this nation is the Constitution. Isn’t it interesting that our forefathers, who seemed to be so brilliant in so many other capacities (free speech, separation of church and state, state’s rights, etc), initially only gave white male property owners the right to vote? While I will be the first to say that being white and male gives absolutely no advantage intellectually (as my wife often reminds me) back in the day when the Constitution was written, property ownership was a fairly decent litmus test of intellectual wherewithal.

These days, property ownership is not at all indicative of intelligence, or work ethic. However, income certainly is.

Perhaps the best way to ensure our country does make the right decisions for future and security is to award voting power based on the taxes we pay.

Talkshow host Neal Boortz has been pushing this idea for years, and I gotta tell you, it sounds pretty damn good.

Everyone gets one vote, for state, local, federal elections, then you are awarded additional votes based on the amount of taxes you pay. The more money you surrender to the government, the more say you have in how it is run.

Stockholders who make the most investment have more say in the way a company is operated; conversely, those who make little financial contribution have little or nothing to lose if the company falters. Why should the people with nothing to lose be in a position to make decisions for the achievers? They shouldn’t be in that position.

Until the breadwinners in this country take back the government and society in general, we are going to be at the mercy of leaders who can easily be compared to spoiled teenagers driving daddy’s expensive car. They didn’t pay for it; they don’t have to take care of it; so who cares if they drive it into a tree?

— The views expressed in this column are the views of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

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10 M E T R O S P I R I T M A Y 2 2 2 0 0 3

Opinion: Insider

A New Judge for Augusta

L

ast Thursday the news of Superior Court Domestic Relations Judge Lyn Allgood’s resignation was published in The Metropolitan Spirit and The Augusta Chronicle. Since that time, legal and political circles have been buzzing with speculation about who will be appointed to replace the retiring judge. Needless to say, the wannabes are coming out of the woodwork.

Had this opening occurred during former Governor Roy Barnes’ administration, there is little doubt that the old guard of local Democrat power brokers and sitting Augusta judges would control the appointment. Not so under newly elected Republican Governor Sonny Perdue. The situation is much different now but many in the old guard apparently haven’t received the message. They will likely get it soon.

At this point in the selection process, predicting who will become Perdue’s first judicial appointment is dicey business, so The Insider won’t make any predictions about who will ultimately be chosen.

Rather, this column will provide insight into the behind-the-scenes considerations.

THE PROCESS First, Perdue must send word of the judicial vacancy to the Judicial Nominating Commission. Currently, the governor has not completed appointments to this commission so he must finalize this task before the process can move forward.

Insiders close to Perdue report that the full commission will be in place within the next 10 days or so.

The commission will officially notify the Augusta Bar Association of the vacancy and the local organization will inform its membership. Members in good standing may submit their own name or the names of other attorneys for consideration. Each applicant must respond to a questionnaire provided by the commission.

After a review of applications, the commission will conduct interviews with qualified applicants and narrow the field to no more than five names. These names will be submitted to the governor and he may interview them if he chooses. Then, the governor makes the appointment.

THE POLITICS So much for process. The politics are much more convoluted.

This is all new to Republicans. Under the Democrats, Republicans had no power and very little input. Local judges and

Democrat bosses called the shots on judicial appointments. These old timers, especially some of the judges, are in for a shock because they think they have a say in this appointment. They don’t. The folks with the power on this occasion are Republican legislators and power brokers.

The Republican (GOP) Party faithful are adamant that Perdue pick an active Republican or, at minimum, an attorney who has demonstrated a conservative Republican philosophy and is not aligned with Democrats. They seethe at the prospect of the guv choosing anyone they consider a Democrat.

To these hardcore Danny Craig Republicans, two people who are otherwise strong candidates are automatically disqualified: District Attorney Danny Craig and Richmond County Solicitor Sheryl Jolly.

Had Barnes remained in office Sheryl Jolly Craig and Jolly would be the front-runners. Some people continue to speculate that these two have the inside track but Republican insiders insist they are not favored. Both Craig and Jolly have consistently run as Democrats and supported other Democratic candidates. When approached well in advance of their most recent elections about the possibility of changing to the Republican Party, they declined.

If Perdue ignores the wishes of GOP loyalists and chooses either Craig or Jolly, he will create another deep division between party stalwarts and himself. After angering many of his supporters with his lackluster performance and consistent tax talk during the legislative session, the appointment of an avowed Democrat would seal Perdue’s fate with hardcore Republicans. Craig and Jolly are qualified for the job but the political winds have changed. This is one prediction The Insider will make: Neither Craig nor Jolly will be the next judge.

OTHER PLAYERS Several names have cropped up since last week. Here’s a current scorecard.

• Republican state Rep. Barry Fleming initially said he was not interested in the post but insiders report he had a change of heart. He is now considering his options but has not definitely decided. He will be a strong contender if he chooses to apply.

He is a Republican, Perdue supporter, and GOP rising Barry Fleming star. He is less experienced than several others who have expressed interest in the job and that could be a drawback.

• City Attorney Jim Wall has indicated his desire for the new judgeship. Wall is an attorney with the firm Burnside, Wall, Daniel, Ellison & Revell. Wall is not affiliated with any political party primarily because his position as city attorney works best if he is seen as nonpartisan. He is well respected but his card-carrying Republican credentials are in Jim Wall question.

• Assistant District Attorney Bobby Christine, who works out of the Columbia County office, is being suggested by some local Republicans. Christine is currently serving with an engineering unit of the Army Reserves, based in Kuwait, and assisting in rebuilding Iraq.

He is a devout family man and well-respected.

His interest level is uncertain. He Bobby Christine has worked with District Attorney Danny Craig for years and the two have a very good relationship.

Christine is a conservative Republican and local party leaders like him. Given the circumstances he’s a long shot at this point. Regardless, he has a political future if he wants it.

• Wade Padgett is the current favorite of Columbia County state Rep. Ben Harbin and state Sen. Joey Brush. They support Padgett unless Fleming gets in the mix. If Fleming applies, Harbin and Brush will back Fleming. Meanwhile, Richmond County Republicans are not sure they want Padgett.

• Attorney Clay Steadman has indicated possible interest and is being considered by local GOP bigwigs. Republican insiders view him as a realistic possibility.

• Attorney Ben Jackson is a Republican who has been involved in the party structure, helped several GOP candidates, and run for office under the Republican banner. Insiders question whether he is experienced enough to be seriously considered.

• Attorney Bill Sams has been mentioned as a possible applicant. He is experienced but Republican insiders indicate they want a younger judge, one who will be on the bench for many years to come.

These are names under discussion at press time but don’t be surprised if the appointee is someone whose name has yet to surface. This appointment is important for Perdue. Because this is his first judicial appointment, Perdue is under scrutiny statewide. All political eyes are on the governor.

Perdue’s choice must be qualified for the job while satisfying a broad range of political interests. If he appoints a Democrat, the guv will face a firestorm of criticism from within his own party. If he appoints a Republican who is viewed as less qualified than some of the Democrat applicants, Perdue could face charges that he sacrificed quality legal justice in the courts for partisan politics.

Perdue must choose a strong candidate who can face voters in 2004. Both Craig and Jolly are excellent vote-getters and one or both could easily challenge Perdue’s newly appointed judge at the polls next year.

Lots to think about. More later.

—The views expressed in this column are the views of The Insider and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

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HUD Cracking Down on Transition Centers, Inc.

P

astor Maggie Banks, director of a local substance abuse and homeless program called Transition Centers, Inc., located on Wrightsboro Road, preached up a storm before the Augusta Commission on May 20.

In a commanding voice that broke only when she was trying to fight back tears, Banks attempted to defend the transition center against recent allegations by the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development that the center is not complying with the necessary guidelines for receiving federal funding.

“If it were not for the grace of God we all could be very well on the streets, homeless and having withdrawals because we could not get to another hit unless we robbed or killed somebody,” Banks proclaimed in the commission’s chambers. “Transition Centers has a proven track record of meeting the needs of those who most need it ... There is no facility in the CSRA like our facility that administers care and service like we do.

“Will you continue to help us take back our community?”

While several Augusta commissioners wanted to support Banks and her program, many made it clear that it would take a lot more than exuberant words to earn back their trust in the transition center.

In mid-January, the Augusta Commission received a report from HUD stating that Banks’ program did not comply with the federal guidelines

for receiving funding from the department’s Emergency Shelter Grant (ESG) and would have to repay at least $7,615 awarded to the center in 2001.

Some of HUD’s concerns were based on the fact that Banks did not have the necessary documentation for homeless clients she has assisted and the center wasn’t being fully utilized. HUD also discovered that Banks was requiring those enrolled in her program to attend church services, which is in violation of HUD guidelines.

Since 2000, Transition Centers, Inc. has been awarded approximately $400,000 of federal funding from the city’s Housing and Neighborhood Development department. A review of that funding is currently underway.

Warren Smith, director of Augusta’s housing department, went before the commission on May 20 to request that about $5,000 of 2002 ESG funding that was awarded to Transition Centers be given to other local agencies providing assistance to Augusta’s homeless that are in compliance with ESG regulations.

“We decided to reprogram those funds because of default,” Smith told the commission. “The U. S. Department of Housing and Urban Development monitored this organization’s (Transition Centers) performance regarding prior use of funds pursuant to ESG program regulations and found it in non-compliance.”

So, in order to avoid losing the $5,000 of federal funding, Smith suggested that

BY STACEY EIDSON

the city split the monies between the 2003 ESG recipients, such as Augusta Task Force for the Homeless, the Salvation Army and Golden Harvest Food Bank.

Pastor Banks said that the city could have the money back if that would erase the black eye that is on her center.

“We started this program five years ago with minimal resources,” Banks said.

“We found out that there was money to help the population that we are serving, so we came to the Housing and Neighborhood Development department and shared what we were doing.”

Today, Banks said, her program offers clients living quarters, a computer lab, a fitness center, a resource library, and employment assistance programs.

“In the past four and a half years we have served more than 400 people with substance abuse problems or homelessness or both,” Banks said.

Then, Banks pointed to members of the HND staff, saying, “Should they take the money, does that mean that my name will be cleared? Then, give it to them.”

“Transition Centers is built on hope,” she added. “It’s built on the things of God. So, take it. Enjoy it. Divide it among whoever you choose to. We are determined to do what we’ve been asked to do and that’s to serve this community in the CSRA.” Augusta Commissioner Marion Williams told Banks that he supports her efforts, but that he needed to hear more facts concerning the funding of her program.

“I want to support you, Sister Banks,” Williams said. “But I can only support what’s right.”

Smith said that HND has done everything humanly possible to try and assist Transition Centers in complying with HUD guidelines.

“This is absolutely nothing personal at all,” Smith told Banks. “This is simply sticking with the letter of the law.”

Despite the fact that he and members of his staff have visited the transition center on several occasions to try and work with Banks, Smith said he believes that she still isn’t complying.

“To this day, as far as we understand, certain situations are still in place that are in violation of federal regulation under the ESG program,” Smith said.

Rose White, HND’s neighborhood development administrator, explained to the commission that ESG funds are specifically used for homeless activity.

“In order to receive the ESG money, Pastor Banks had to document that her clients were homeless,” White said. “She got $7,600 last year in ESG funding. So, I told her, ‘Go back, identify how many homeless people you’ve helped.’”

White said, to prove that a person is homeless, Banks was supposed to get a written statement from another agency that helps the homeless, like a soup kitchen, verifying that her client received services there. Or, White said, the transition center could get a letter from a parent stating that they have kicked their son or daughter out of their

“I want to support you, Sister (Maggie) Banks.

But I can only support what’s right.”

– Augusta Commissioner Marion Williams

house and therefore, that person is actually homeless.

“I think Pastor Banks documented three people,” White said. “And when HUD came, we showed her information to HUD and HUD believed that the signatures on the document were the signatures of one person.

“They just felt that was unacceptable, so HUD said, ‘City, pay the money back – $7,600.’”

White said she didn’t know what else HND could do to help Banks.

“I have done everything. I have sat down personally with Pastor Banks and for six months, I even filled out her pay requests (for HUD),” White said. “And I would tell her, ‘OK, next time, you need to fill this out yourself and bring this in because I don’t have two hours to spend with you at the office.’ But she would still walk right in and wouldn’t have it.

And poor, little sympathetic me would go ahead and fill it out for her again.”

White also said that she believes Banks is still requiring her clients to attend religious services.

“Pastor Banks is going to run her program the way Pastor Banks wants to,” White said. “She is not going to run it the way that we want her to.”

“We have broken our backs to assist her,” she added. “But she doesn’t want anybody into her business. That’s why she does it her way.”

The Augusta Commission voted to send the request for reprogramming the transition center’s ESG funding back to the commission’s administrative services committee meeting on May 27 for further review.

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M E T R O S P I R I T M A Y 2 2 2 0 0 3

14 M E T R O S P I R I T M A Y 2 2 2 0 0 3

STORM CHASERS E

very time she hears a thunderclap or sees the wind whipping the trees around like they were meager blades of grass, Maria Floyd gets anxious.

But not in the way most people do when they look out the window and see severe weather heading their way.

While most people are anchoring down their deck chairs or running to the living room to make sure the roofer really did fix that leak, Floyd is warming up the van, gathering all the available computer data she can, and preparing to head out into the thick of it.

Floyd, of Aiken, is one of a few dozen or so storm chasers in the area.

However, while some local individuals classify themselves as such in only the most casual of terms, being merely content to observe storms from the safety of their porches and back yards, Floyd acknowledges she’s ready to go wherever weather-data compilers, such as local TV station, WAGT-TV Channel 26, ask her to go.

“When I was little, I was always afraid of storms, but I guess it’s something I overcame,” Floyd said, sitting inside the New Moon Cafe on Laurens Street in Aiken. “I guess it’s the adrenaline.

Whenever I hear thunder, I just can’t explain it to you. If it’s in the middle of the night, I’m flying out of bed, checking the radar, pulling up computer

information, looking at (computer) models, checking things out.”

Storm chasers have received much exposure in recent years, particularly following the 1996 release of “Twister,” which depicted the unusual lot of tempest-obsessed, tornado tagalongs as nothing short of heroic.

Following the tornadic storms that rocked the Midwest the first week in May, America witnessed storm-chaser footage that rivaled even the best Hollywood depictions, with one photographer, his video camera pointed out the back of the chase vehicle, capturing a massive funnel as it lurched toward him.

Some enterprising Midwesterners also have turned their oft-turbulent plains into something of a cottage industry, offering high-dollar, storm-chasing tours to the thrill-seeking public.

Floyd and other local chasers acknowledge they’d be hard-pressed to find such action here.

“We don’t really get too busy around here,” said Vernon Carver, a storm chaser who lives in Langley.

“It’s just kind of really hard to catch a tornado around here. Usually the ones that do (spot a tornado), it’s rainwrapped and hard to see.”

Carver, who’s had a lifelong fascination with weather, said the region’s hills and trees also make it hard to spot severe storms.

Floyd agrees that local storm chasers aren’t treated to the type of sensational scenes as those in places like Oklahoma and Kansas, although she has pursued mammoth storms on the Midwest plains, as part of a graduate program with Mississippi State University.

During one of those journeys in 1998, Floyd said, students spent two weeks traveling through a handful of Midwest states that comprise the region of the country often called “Tornado Alley.”

“We put on between 5,000 and 6,000 miles (on the chase van),” Floyd said. “We’d have a 12-hour day, followed by a 15-hour day.

There’s a lot of hurry up and wait, while you’re out there.”

Even though that year wasn’t a stellar one for storm-spotting in the Midwest, Floyd said she still learned a lot about storm structures and the evolution of weather systems.

For accuracy’s sake, Floyd considers herself more of a storm spotter than a chaser — that is, she’s more concerned with relaying up-to-theminute observations to news stations and emergency agencies.

Storm chasers, Floyd explained, are more often after the thrill, as well as photographs and video footage — although Floyd has gained all of the above in the roughly eight years she’s been at it.

Suffice it to say, she’s a little of both.

Gloria Forthun, regional climatologist with the Southeast Regional Climate Center, said that storm spotters and chasers are invaluable to alerting citizens to weather emergencies, even in light of advancements like Doppler radar. Doppler does indicate storm rotation patterns, but can’t tell meteorologists if a tornado has actually touched down, Forthun said.

That's particularly important, she said, in light of a recent report by the National Weather Service's Storm Prediction Center that showed 412 tornadoes had touched down in the nation in the first 11 days of May. Forthun said that total exceeded the number of tornadoes ever reported for an entire month.

“We need people who are actively looking to catch whether the storm is actually producing tornadoes — whether it’s not showing up on radar,” said Forthun, who’s had weather forecasting experience in the Midwest.

“And they (spotters and the National Weather Service) have a whole emergency warning system that they go through to get the word out as fast as possible to give a long lead time to people.”

SKYWARN is one such system.

Through this program, a network of storm spotters, ham radio operators and National Weather Service meteo-

BY BRIAN NEILL

rologists pool efforts to notify the public as quickly as possible that a dangerous storm is approaching.

Floyd and Carver are both members of the local SKYWARN network, whose members make observations in the field and report severe weather activity to the National Weather Service offices in Columbia.

Officials with the National Weather Service consider the ground information obtained through programs like SKYWARN invaluable.

“Oh absolutely,” said Steve Naglic, meteorologist and storm chaser trainer with the National Weather Service in Columbia. “We call them the eyes and the ears of the weather service.”

Jeff Rucker, chief meteorologist with WAGT-TV 26, recalled the tornado that struck Columbia County, near Windmill Plantation, on Feb. 22, as an example of a situation for which those eyes and ears would have proved more effective than gadgets.

While the general rule of thumb in the industry is that Doppler provides a roughly 15-minute warning of an approaching tornado, Rucker said the Columbia County tornado arrived unannounced.

“I mean, you can say 15 minutes, but it could be none, or it could be longer,” Rucker said. “Our big concern around here is, a lot of the time they’re not detected. And of course with the spotters, you get this rotation showing up on the radar, but you don’t actually know if it’s on the ground. So the only way you know if it’s on the ground is if somebody sees it, or wind damage is reported, or whatever.

“So that’s why the spotters and SKYWARN program are so important, to get all those people on the ground who can call us or call the National Weather Service and say, ‘We’ve got a tornado on the ground.’”

However, Forthun said, not just anyone is qualified to go out and chase storms.

Storm education and proper spotting and chasing training are key, she said.

“I can say that, from my experience in the Midwest, where there are a lot of tornadoes, that well-trained storm spotters are essential.

Now, I think there’s a difference between storm chasers and storm spotters,” Forthun said. “Storm chasers, unless they’re very professional and have a lot of equipment, are really putting themselves at risk. continued on page 16

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“I guess it’s the adrenaline.

Whenever I hear thunder, I just can’t explain it to you. If it’s in the middle of the night, I’m flying out of bed, checking the radar, pulling up computer information, looking at (computer) models,

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checking things out.”

— Maria Floyd, local storm chaser (pictured using a hand-held wind speed indicator)

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continued from page 15 “If they were just part of the spotter network for emergency management to give early warning, it’s wonderful. If they’re just out to chase them and see what happens, they’re pretty foolish.”

Floyd, a mother of three who earned a master’s in geoscience from Mississippi State, as well as taking a dozen or so hours of college meteorology courses, definitely doesn’t fall into that category.

“I guess that’s what I try to do, is learn as much as a can,” Floyd said. “I feel like the more I can learn about severe weather, the more I can learn storm dynamics and thunderstorm morphology, the better spotter I’m going to be.”

Chris Maddox, another meteorologist at WAGT-TV Channel 26, handles local storm chaser training.

Currently, he said, the station relies on information gathered through roughly 31 local storm chasers and spotters, including Floyd.

He said Floyd is a standout, in that she has extensive weather education and the gumption to go where she is needed.

“Most people, they don’t respect the storms enough, or don’t know enough about them to chase them,” said Maddox, who also earned a master’s in geoscience with an emphasis on broadcast meteorology from Mississippi State. “So, they stay at home and we’ve given them enough training to recognize, where they can step on their front porch and take a look real quick and say, ‘OK, I know what this is,’ and they give us a call.

But we’ve got a couple of people like Maria. Maria will go wherever you want her to.”

Maddox has done his share of chasing, having also traveled to the Midwest as Floyd did with the North Mississippi Severe Storms Intercept Team (NOMISSIT) run by Mississippi State’s geosciences department.

“It’s a complete adrenalin rush,” Maddox said of the storm-chasing experience.

“We caught a couple of tornadoes out in Kansas when we were out there,” he added. “We chased Hurricane Georges when it made landfall in Gulfport and we were in Gulfport when it hit. And we kind of got stuck in a hotel there, because of all the flooding.

“And we’ve had a couple of close calls while chasing in Mississippi. We chased a storm one night and it happened to turn on us without us really being able to see it turn. And we thought we saw something developing right on top of us, so we jumped in the car and took off and a tornado touched down about a minute later, about 100 yards from where we were.”

While those are amazing stories to look back on, Maddox discourages anyone from seeking out such close-call situations.

“The one thing I would add is, if anybody’s interested in storm-chasing, to get proper training, somewhere,” Maddox said. “Whether it be here with us, or SKYWARN, or the National Weather Service, the training that they do.

Because, just to roll out there and try to chase a storm and not know, you can get yourself in trouble, fast. We’ve had a lot of people do that.

“Some people get themselves out there and put themselves in the path of the storm and not really realize it. That’s when you get into the dangerous side of it.”

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“Our big concern around here is, a lot of the time they’re (tornadoes) not detected.

And of course with the spotters, you get this rotation showing up on the radar, but you don’t actually know if it’s on the ground. So the only way you know if it’s on the ground is if somebody sees it, or wind damage is reported, or whatever.”

— Jeff Rucker, chief meteorologist with WAGT-TV Channel 26.

Life With

17 M E T R O S P I R I T M A Y 2 2

BY STACEY EIDSON

2 0 0 3

A

udiences all over America howled with laughter as they watched Jack Nicholson’s character in the highly acclaimed 1997 film “As Good as It Gets” carefully avoiding stepping on cracks along the sidewalk or using a new bar of soap each time he washed his hands.

Nicholson played a man suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), an anxiety disorder that is characterized by intrusive, unwanted and repetitive thoughts or behaviors.

It was easy for many moviegoers to shake their heads at Nicholson’s character and dismiss him as being completely insane.

But according to Bill Ford, a psychotherapist and clinical social worker who specializes in OCD at the Aurora Behavioral Health Center in Wauwatosa, Wis., people suffering from OCD are far from crazy.

And he should know.

For more than 30 years of his life, Ford, 56, found himself gripped with OCD. “My first experience with OCD happened when I

OCD was a little kid,” said Ford by phone from his office in Wisconsin. “And it had to do with what is known as scrupulosity – in other words, worrying about sin.

“I was raised Catholic and went to a Catholic school with nuns. And I remember worrying incessantly about making my first confession.”

Ford joked that in no way was he blaming Catholicism or the nuns for his first encounter with OCD, but he recalled being highly concerned about whether or not he would be able to confess all of his sins.

Even as a child, Ford said, he knew his constant concerns over sinning were excessive and irrational, but he felt he had no control over them.

This particular form of OCD continued for several years until Ford said he moved into adolescence and started studying science.

“I began learning in science classes about dirt and germs,” Ford said. “And I soon became a hand-washer. For a couple of years of my life in high school, I frequently had chapped hands, literally to the point that they were cracked and

bloody, because I was washing my hands so much.”

Ironically, Ford said, most of the general public doesn’t understand that people suffering from constant hand-washing, the single most prevalent type of behavior compulsion with OCD, are oftentimes not worried about personally getting sick from germs. Instead, they are more worried about picking up some kind of germ and making someone else sick.

“A lot of people with OCD fear that they might pass some germ along to their loved ones, so they wash, and wash, and wash, and wash in a frenzied effort to protect other people,” Ford said. “Well, that was me in high school.”

Like many people suffering with OCD, Ford said, his obsessions and compulsions would come in waves. Some years he would hardly have any signs of OCD, while other years the condition was so severe it was crippling.

For instance, Ford’s bouts with OCD continued in college and eventually forced him to drop out of school before earning his master’s.

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“From there, I went to work in the mental health field as a counselor,” Ford said. “And I had my usual variety of obsessions and compulsions at work, but in a hospital setting it actually in some ways played to my advantage.”

At work, Ford took on a new obsession where he feared harm would come to others if he was not careful enough.

“My supervisors wanted me to be in charge of every unit because they knew that I was obsessed with making sure that the patients stayed safe,” Ford said. “And on a psychiatric unit, that’s like the No. 1 thing supervisors look for.

“If you’ve got people who are impulsive and perhaps suicidal, you want staff members who are really on their feet and keeping an eye on things. Well, every other staff member loved working with me because they could sit back and read the paper. I was the one checking things all the time.”

As a result of his obsession with safety, Ford said he was constantly getting promoted within the hospital and eventually was appointed supervisor of about 40 hospital counseling staffers, in charge of their hiring and training.

“Well, my training was about enough to drive you crazy,” Ford said, laughing.

“When it came to training people about safety, I mean, I probably just wore them into the woodwork, especially when it came to things like fire safety.”

Those were the days when staff members and even some patients were allowed to smoke cigarettes in the hospital. Because of that fact, Ford said he had a heightened concern about fires.

“These intrusive images of the hospital catching on fire kept erupting in my head, over and over and over again,” Ford said, adding that he would spend hours at work continuously checking for fire hazards.

“I would check to make sure that the stoves were off in the kitchenettes on the unit, check to be sure that every lighter and every pack of matches was accounted for and locked up in a drawer, check the fire extinguishers to be sure that they were

pressurized,” Ford said. “This is not something that I did once a month or even once a week; this is something that I did every day.”

Ford said his obsession got to a point where it was disrupting his sleep.

“Sometimes I would go home at night and, as I walked out of the hospital, if I saw a visitor or somebody in the coffee shops smoking a cigarette, that image would stay with me and I would get home and I would think, what if they didn’t put their cigarette out?” Ford said. “What if they didn’t butt it out properly in the ash tray? What if some hot ash fell on the carpeting? What if the place is smoldering?”

The “what if” questions would at times continue into the late hours of the night until Ford just couldn’t stand it anymore.

“I would literally not be able to sleep at night sometimes,” Ford said. “So I would get up at 3 o’clock in the morning and walk back to the hospital and go into the coffee shop and touch the ashtrays to make sure that they were cool.”

Shame Covers OCD Tracks Naturally, Ford said, he was terribly embarrassed about his OCD behavior, so he tried to give a reasonable explanation to anyone who noticed that he had returned to the hospital in the middle of the night.

“Nobody with OCD wants to be seen doing their rituals because they realize they are over-the-top and exaggerated behaviors, but people with OCD develop all kinds of plausible explanations for why they do what they do,” Ford said. “So, I would walk into the hospital lobby and the switchboard operator would look up around 3 o’clock in the morning and say, ‘Mr. Ford, what are you doing here?’”

Because he was the supervisor for the counseling staff, Ford said he was able to tell the switchboard operator that he had returned to the hospital to talk to the third shift about an important matter.

“That was sort of an explanation that somebody else could accept so that I wouldn’t be noticed doing my compul-

sions,” Ford said.

But Ford’s compulsions didn’t stop there.

He mentioned that he would walk back to the hospital in the middle of the night to make sure that the hospital was not on fire.

The reason Ford was walking to the hospital was that his OCD eventually forced him off the road.

“I had to move to an apartment house very close to the hospital because I could no longer drive,” Ford said. “Another form that my OCD took was the form of fearing that I would not be a safe driver. Fearing that I might run over a pedestrian or cause an accident.

“And that translated into a sense of urgency, where every time I ran over a bump or every time there was a little flicker of light on the side of the road, I felt the need to turn on my turn signal and go around the block and check to make sure that the bump in the road was just a pothole and not some child who might have stepped out in front of me when my eyes were diverted in another direction.”

As soon as he checked the road for injured pedestrians, he couldn’t help but turn around minutes later and check again.

“There were times that I would go ‘round, and ‘round, and ‘round the block, just checking,” Ford said. “I would get ready to drive away and I would think, ‘Well, what if I hit somebody and knocked them into the shrubbery?’ And I would say, ‘Oh, I didn’t check the shrubbery; I better go back and take a look under the shrubbery.’”

Ford said his anxiety over possibly hitting someone was so extreme that pure exhaustion caused him to give into his compulsion of checking and rechecking the roads.

“And giving in to OCD is like giving in to a tantrumming child. If you give into a tantrumming child, you just reinforce the tantrum,” Ford said. “Finally I just parked my car in the hospital parking lot and I sold it to one of my staff members because I felt like I would not be able to drive again.”

Finding Help for OCD According to information provided by Patricia Perkins, executive director of the Obsessive-Compulsive Foundation, Inc. headquartered in Milford, Conn., OCD will affect 3 in 100 adults in the United States during their lifetime.

This means that OCD is more prevalent than diabetes. But most patients suffering from this anxiety disorder are so embarrassed by the obsessions and compulsions that they do not seek treatment.

The most current statistics from the foundation estimate that the average person suffers with OCD at least seven years before seeking treatment.

And while research suggests that reduced levels of serotonin in the brain plays a significant role in OCD, the foundation says there is no laboratory test for OCD. Instead, OCD diagnosis is based on an assessment of the person’s symptoms.

On May 15, Dr. Wayne Goodman, professor and chairman of psychiatry at the University of Florida, spoke at an obsessive-compulsive disorder seminar at the Medical College of Georgia.

Goodman and his colleagues at the University of Florida were the pioneers behind the OCD Screening Test used by many health professionals to evaluate anxiety symptoms and obsessive/compulsive tendencies.

Goodman’s screening test includes questions that most people would think are bizarre, such as: Do you have concerns about being contaminated by dirt, germs, chemicals or radiation? Do you worry about accidentally hitting a pedestrian with your car? Do you frequently check light switches, water faucets, the stove, or door locks? Are you concerned about physically harming a loved one or pushing a stranger in front of a bus?

But for people suffering from OCD, these questions can be a huge source of comfort because they realize they aren’t crazy.

They simply suffer from OCD. Goodman showed graduate students at MCG pictures of former patients suffering from a variety of compulsions, including hoarding.

“This is a patient of mine who just that morning had run out of storage space in her house,” Goodman said, as he pointed to a picture of the woman’s car full of newspapers. “What this person was worried about was that she would throw out something valuable that was stuck in between the newspapers, even though she would in fact admit that she had nothing of significant value in the papers.”

Goodman had another patient whose hoarding behavior reached a point where it became a health concern in her house.

“She worried that the cat would eat something that was valuable and, well, it would come out the other end,” Goodman said. “So, she started saving all the kitty litter in plastic bags and storing them in the basement.”

While these types of problems seem unthinkable to the average person, Dr. Patrick Boudewyns, professor and clinical psychologist at MCG’s Department of Psychiatry and Health Behavior, said that he is always treating at least two or three OCD patients from the Augusta area at any given time.

And each patient is different.

“For instance, I once had a patient that liked to keep things clean but would never dust,” Boudewyns said, explaining that she was suffering from OCD’s ordering behavior. “I asked her, ‘Why don’t you dust?’ And she said, ‘Well, you know, if I get started on that, it just never ends. So, as long as I can keep the dust even on the top of the table, if I don’t have any finger marks on it, it’s fine.’”

In 1983, Boudewyns said he used one of his OCD patients for a book he wrote on the use of direct therapeutic exposure, treatment which asks patients to deliberately and voluntarily confront their fears and refrain from ritualized behavior under the guidance of the therapist.

“This lady had an obsession with her children,” Boudewyns said. “At the time, she had one infant and she became obsessed with the fact that the child may get injured.”

The woman eventually began having images that she would accidentally throw hot water on her baby.

“She started to constantly worry about that,” Boudewyns said. “And the way that she would reduce the worry or reduce her anxiety would be she would pick up the hot, scalding water and actually take it close to the child and make her test herself.”

Boudewyns said that checking is a very common form of compulsive behavior.

“She was testing to make sure that she wouldn’t accidentally turn this pan of continued on page 20

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continued from page 19 water over on the child,” Boudewyns said.

“That fear then lead to other problems.”

The woman did a lot of sewing in the house and she began to fear that she was going to stab her child with the scissors.

“So, when the child was asleep, she would take the scissors up close to the eyes of the child and hold it there for a period of time to prove to herself that she wouldn’t do that,” Boudewyns said. “Well, of course doing these checkings made her extremely guilty.

“Finally she got to the point where she would lie the child down on the driveway in front of the car and turn on the car and prove that she couldn’t run over the child.”

Clearly, Boudewyns said that the woman’s checking behavior was getting dangerous.

“I pointed out that if DFCS heard about this she’d be in trouble, so she had to stop doing it because I didn’t want to take the child away from her,” Boudewyns said.

“She was a good mother.”

In order to help treat this woman, Boudewyns used direct therapeutic exposure and response prevention to make her understand that she could not continue with this kind of checking.

“It took a long time,” Boudewyns said.

“But she completely overcame it.”

Built Ford Tough For Bill Ford, being reduced to taking cabs and buses everywhere he went in his mid-30s was not only a hassle, it was humiliating. His OCD was completely taking over his life.

“It was pretty inconvenient for a young adult to be unable to drive,” Ford said.

“And particularly since I was making a good salary, people were saying, ‘Why in the hell don’t you have a really fancy new car?’ Life was pretty miserable.”

Then one morning in 1987, Ford walked into his office and found a letter on his desk from a Dr. John Greist, an OCD specialist from the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

“The letter asked me to refer patients from my unit who met diagnostic criteria for obsessive-compulsive disorder because they were doing a medication study,” Ford said. “And I thought, ‘What does medication have to do with OCD?’ For years, I had been spending hundreds and hundreds of dollars a month seeing an analyst, like a Freudian psychoanalyst, who by the way, did me no good at all.”

According to the book, “Tormenting Thoughts and Secret Rituals: The Hidden Epidemic of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder” by Dr. Ian Osborn, up until the last few decades, the leading theory on the cause of OCD was Freud’s belief that obsession and compulsions arise from unconscious conflicts between instincts, dealing primarily with sex, and attempts at self-control.

This theory, according to Osborn’s book, “no longer holds sway.”

“Psychoanalysis is not the treatment of choice; in fact it is counter-productive with people with OCD,” Ford said. “But then I was seeing this analyst and paying him money to tell me that, ‘Gee, you have OCD because you have unresolved conflicts in your life.’ And he suggested that maybe my upbringing was in some way wanting.”

Ford said nothing could be farther from the truth.

“I would tell the guy, ‘My parents were

“Sometimes I would go home at night and, as I walked out of the hospital, if I saw a visitor or somebody in the coffee shops smoking a cigarette, that image would stay with me and I would get home and I would think, what if they didn’t put their cigarette out? What if some hot ash fell on the carpeting? What if the place is smoldering?”

– Bill Ford, a psychotherapist and clinical social worker who specializes in OCD at the Aurora Behavioral Health Center in Wisconsin

probably the most marvelous pair of people to raise kids,’” Ford said. “‘They were kind and gentle. They weren’t demanding or rigid. They weren’t compulsive. And the household that I was brought up in was neat and orderly, but my mother was not over-the-top. She wasn’t scrubbing the toilet six times a day or something.’”

Typically, people with OCD have a very happy and reasonable family life with supportive parents, Ford said.

“So, trying to go back and blame family dynamics is a fool’s errand as far as I’m concerned,” Ford said.

As it turned out, Greist’s letter was the answer that Ford was desperately searching for.

“I immediately called Dr. Greist and said, ‘Before I refer any patients from my unit, I am going to refer myself,’” Ford said.

So, Ford took several buses and cabs to Madison and went through a diagnostic interview that confirmed that he had prominent OCD. Greist told Ford that the study would use two methods of treatment for OCD: behavior therapy, also referred to as exposure and response prevention, and medications known as serotonin reuptake inhibitors. Specifically, Greist’s study was going to use fluvoxamine, otherwise known as Luvox.

“The first thing Dr. Greist asked me was, ‘If treatment is successful, what will you be able to do then that you can’t do now?’”

Ford said. “And I said, ‘Well, No. 1, I would be able to drive a car comfortably. I can’t imagine ever being able to do that again.’”

Shortly after, Ford was prescribed Luvox and entered into the world of behavior therapy.

“Twelve weeks into taking the medication, I was able to go out and rent a car for the weekend,” Ford said. “I had not driven in years.

“Three months after that, I was standing on the lot of a Honda dealer and I bought a used Honda.”

However, Ford said, reintroducing himself to driving was not as easy as it sounds. He said he had to take small steps with his behavior therapy, such as beginning with driving three blocks without checking to see if he had hit anyone.

Eventually, Greist insisted that Ford drive over bumpy roads and past shopping

districts and schools where there are pedestrians, in order to conquer his anxiety.

“By the end of the first six months, I could pretty much drive anywhere in the city and tolerate the discomfort of not going back and checking,” Ford said. “I just pushed, and pushed, and pushed myself. And what I found was, if I practiced the behavior therapy, I could do it.”

Greist and his colleagues were so impressed with Ford’s improvement he was asked to speak at the American Psychiatric Association’s national convention that year.

“And I remembered thinking, ‘My God, here I am standing up in front of an audience of 300 people talking about a condition that has caused me in my life so much embarrassment and now I stand up and talk about it and I’m excited about it,’” Ford said. “I was excited because I’d gone from being absolutely miserable to being quite free.”

Following his speech at the APA convention, Ford was interviewed by Dateline NBC and Larry King Live about his condition.

“I was nervous but I just thought, ‘Well, I guess I’ve opened my mouth and now this is an opportunity to get the word out,’” Ford said. “Because, even though this condition once made me feel so intimidated and so ashamed, if you’ve had OCD and you know what the experience is like, you really don’t want anybody else to sit out there struggling with it.

“So, if that means coming forward and talking about it publicly, I figured it was worth it.”

After taking control of his OCD in the late ‘80s, Ford went back to graduate school and became a psychotherapist in 1992. He has been treating patients with OCD ever since.

“It’s my pride and joy in life,” said Ford, adding that he has now tapered down to a minimal use of medication for his OCD. “All of the things that used to haunt me terribly, I have them under control. If those thoughts even occur to me now, I’m able to shrug them off as being ridiculous.”

For more information on OCD, please contact the Obsessive-Compulsive Foundation, Inc. at (203) 315-2190 or visit the Web site at www.ocfoundation.org.

21

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Spoleto Festival U.S.A. Brings World-Class Arts to Charleston

BY LISA JORDAN

Y

ou’ll find art in every one of Charleston’s historic nooks and crannies during the 17-day festival known as Spoleto Festival U.S.A. From May 23 to June 8, the city’s spaces – theatres, churches and outdoor venues – will be filled with music, dance, theatre and visual arts.

Started in 1977 as a companion festival to Spoleto, Italy’s Festival of Two Worlds, Spoleto Festival U.S.A. highlights performances that bring world-class emerging and established talent to the United States.

With over 120 performances scheduled for this, the 27th annual Spoleto Festival U.S.A., the festival’s variety offers a little something for everyone.

There’s Circus Flora, a European-style circus staged under an intimate big top; “The Battle of Stalingrad,” a puppet theatre tribute to the city; performances by The National Ballet of Canada, flamenco dancers and contemporary dance company Shen Wei Dance Arts; operas “Lakme´” and “Tamerlano”; a 33-concert chamber music series; visual arts exhibit “The Borough Project” and more.

And that’s just scratching the surface.

We’ve yet to mention Piccolo Spoleto, Spoleto Festival U.S.A.’s official companion event, operated by the City of Charleston’s Office of Cultural Affairs.

The more than 800 performances and projects of Piccolo Spoleto come from local and regional artists.

Tickets for Spoleto Festival U.S.A. events range from $10-$120, though most events are priced in the $25-$45 range. Tickets are available by phone at (843) 579-3100 or online at www.spoletousa.org. The Spoleto Box Office is located in the Gaillard Municipal Auditorium, 77 Calhoun St., in Charleston. For group discounts, available to groups of 15 or more, call the group sales manager at (843) 720-1114.

Piccolo Spoleto tickets are available through TicketMaster, 828-7700 or www.ticketmaster.com. For more information on Piccolo Spoleto, visit www.piccolospoleto.com or phone (843) 724-7305.

Photo: William Struhs

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The National Ballet of Canada

Elina Va¨ha¨la¨ and Wendy Chen

Circus Flora

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Augusta 3233 Wrightsboro Rd. (at North Leg) 737-6444 3120 Peach Orchard Rd. (Windsor Square) 793-5422 1819 Walton Way (across from Tubman) 737-8205

North Augusta 107 Edgewood Ave. 278-6408

24 M E T R O S P I R I T M A Y 2 2 2 0 0 3

8

DaysA Week

Arts

Auditions

THE ARTISTS’ CONSERVATORY is looking for actors to per form in fall productions of “As You Like It” and “A Doll’s House.” Send a resume of previous theatrical experience to augconser vator y@yahoogroups.com

by June 1.

COLOSSAL FILM CR AWL CALL FOR ENTRIES to participate in Columbia’s annual multi-venue film and video festival. Shor t films from ar tists in the Southeast will be accepted through June 27. All genres and subject matter welcome. Films must be 30 minutes or less. For complete details on how to submit a film, contact Amanda Presley at (803) 765-0707, ex t. 122.

AUGUSTA CONCERT BAND rehearses Monday evenings and is looking to fill vacancies on most band instruments. Interested par ties should contact Ben Easter, (803) 202-0091 or e-mail bandforaugusta@aol.com.

SWEET ADELINES PEACH STATE CHORUS OPEN REHEARSAL open rehearsal for singers each Thursday at 7 p.m. at Church of Christ, 600 Mar tintown Rd. in Nor th Augusta. They are on the lookout for voices in the lower ranges. Contact Mar y Norman at (803) 279-6499.

Education

ART CLASSES AND WORKSHOPS are of fered yearround at the Ger trude Herber t Institute of Ar t.

Summer quar ter begins June 2; tuition assistance is available and June 6 is the deadline to apply. Classes and workshops are open to toddlers through adults and feature instruction in drawing, painting, photography, pot ter y, weaving and sculpture. For a newslet ter or detailed information on registering for classes at the Ger trude Herber t, call 722-5495. The Ger trude Herber t Institute of Ar t also of fers Educational Tours; for information, contact the Education Director at the above telephone number.

ART CLASSES FOR CHILDREN AND ADULTS at the Ar t Factory. The Ar t Factory also has a homeschool program and scholarships are available. Available programs include voice lesson and pantomime workshops, as well as classes in dance, theater, music, visual ar ts and writing. Call 731-0008 for details.

CER AMICS CLASSES at the Weeks Center Ceramics House in Aiken. Fees include one class per week and students can choose any class time: Mondays, 9 a.m. to noon or 6-9 p.m.; Tuesdays, 6-9 p.m.; or Wednesdays, 9 a.m. to noon. $30 per month. Call (803) 642-7631 for info.

USC-AIKEN MUSIC CONSERVATORY PROGR AM now open. Students of all ages and experience levels welcome. Private lessons available for musical instruments and voice; instructors are USC-Aiken faculty and have at least a master’s degree in their per formance area.

(803) 641-3288.

Exhibitions

PHOTOGR APHY BY MARY TIMM STAPF will be on display throughout June at the Gibbs Library. 863-1946.

“NEW EXPRESSIONS,” an exhibit featuring works by members of Women on Paper, will be up at Ar t on Broad Gallery through May 27. For information, call 722-1028.

THE WALTER O. EVANS COLLECTION OF AFRICANAMERICAN ART on view at the Morris Museum of Ar t through Aug. 10. Call 724-7501 for details.

“DIFFERENT STROKES” EXHIBITION features works by Kevin Cole and Marjorie Guyon and will be on display at the Mary Pauline Gallery through June 21. Call 7249542 for details.

PAINTINGS BY LAUREN KERBELIS will be on display at the Gibbs Library throughout May. 863-1946.

ART BY KRISTY POWELL will be on exhibit at the Euchee Creek Library during the month of May. 556-0594.

EXHIBITION BY PAUL GOODNIGHT through June 7 at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum of Black History. For more information, call 724-3576.

“EYE OF THE STORM: THE CIVIL WAR DR AWINGS OF ROBERT SNEDEN” will be on display at the Augusta Museum of History through July 13. For more information, call 722-8454.

ART BY STUDENTS OF M. HAUSER, instructor at Aquinas High School, will be on display at the Friedman Branch Library throughout May. 736-6758.

THE WORK OF TOM NAK ASHIMA is on display at the Ger trude Herber t Institute of Ar t through June 20.

722-5495.

PAINTINGS BY JANE NODINE will be on display at USCAiken’s Lower Gallery through May 30. (803) 641-3305.

Dance

THE AUGUSTA INTERNATIONAL FOLK DANCE CLUB meets Thursday evenings at 7:30 p.m. No par tners are needed and newcomers are welcome. Line and circle dances are taught. For location information, call 737-6299.

THE DANCES OF UNIVERSAL PEACE held the first Saturday of every month, 7-9 p.m., at the Unitarian Church of Augusta, honors the religious traditions of the world through song and movement. Call (803) 6430460 for more information.

SECOND SATURDAY DANCE at the Ballroom Dance Center, 225 Grand Slam Drive in Evans, held the second Saturday of every month, 7:30-11 p.m. Dress is casual.

Tickets are $10 per person. 854-8888.

AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF THE UNITED STATES AMATEUR BALLROOM DANCERS ASSOCIATION holds a dance the first Saturday of each month, from 7:15 to 11 p.m. Cost is $7 for members and $10 for non-members. Held at the BPOE Facility on Elkdom Cour t.

Contact Melvis Lovet t, 733-3890, or Jean Avery, 8634186, for information.

CSR A/AUGUSTA BOGEY-WOOGIE DANCE AND

Catch “Twelfth Night,” the last show of The New American Shakespeare Tavern’s 2002-2003 season, through June 29 at the tavern in Atlanta. Call (404) 874-5299 for ticket information.

SOCIAL GROUP holds a monthly dance every third Saturday of the month, star ting at 7:30 p.m. There are also meetings every Sunday at 4 p.m. at the Salsa Ruedo Casino and every Wednesday at 7:45 p.m. Men are especially encouraged to at tend. For information, phone 650-2396 or 736-3878.

SINGLES DANCE each Saturday night from 8-11 p.m. sponsored by the Christian Social Organization for Single Adults. Held at Westside High School. Tickets $5 for members, $7 for non-members, and are available at the door. For more information, contact Doris Heath, 736-3376.

Music

A SPRING CONCERT WITH THE AUGUSTA CHAMBER SINGERS June 5, 7:30 p.m., at St. John United Methodist Church. Free admission. For more information, contact Nancy Kritz, 279-7809.

Per forming Ar ts Stage at Hopeland Gardens in Aiken. In the event of rain, concer ts will be held in Gym 2 at the H.O. Weeks Center. Free admission. Call (803) 6427631 for information.

MUSIC IN THE PARK at Creighton Living Histor y Park in Nor th Augusta at 7 p.m. May 29, June 12 and 26 and July 10; Candlelight concer t 8 p.m. July 24.

(803) 442-7588.

COMMUNITY HEALING MEDITATION DRUMMING CIRCLE hosted every third Monday of the month by IDRUM2U, the Not Gaddy Drumming Studio. Held 7-9 p.m. at the G.L. Jackson Conference Center, 1714 Nor th Leg Cour t. Fee is $5 or a donation of canned goods for the Golden Harvest Food Bank. All are welcome and drums will be available to rent. For info, phone the Not Gaddy Drumming Studio, 228-3200.

Theater

JUNE JAZZ CANDLELIGHT CONCERT SERIES June 1, 8, 15, 22 and 29, 8-9:30 p.m. at Riverwalk’s Eighth Street Bulkhead. Admission is $5. Bring a blanket or lawn chair and a picnic basket. For information, call Riverwalk Special Events at 821-1754.

SENIOR SHOWCASE May 27, 7 p.m., in the Beverly J. Barnhar t Theatre at Davidson Fine Ar ts School.

Tickets are $5 adul t, $4 senior ci tizens and children under 5, $3 for DFA students. For information, call 823-6924, ex t. 124.

DOWNTOWN LUNCH DATE May 29, June 5, 12, 19 and 26, noon-2:30 p.m., at Augusta Common. Bring a lunch or eat lunch catered by the featured restaurant while listening to live music. 821-1754.

JOKER’S WILD COMEDY TOUR comes to the AugustaRichmond County Civic Center May 30, 8 p.m. Tickets are $35.50 in advance or $38.50 the day of the show.

Call 722-3521.

CSR A ANNUAL GOSPELFEST May 24, 5 p.m., at Riverwalk’s Jessye Norman Amphitheatre. For details, call 724-5850.

“INTO THE WOODS” May 23-24, 30-31, June 1 and 67 at the Washington Center for the Per forming Ar ts in Aiken. Friday and Saturday per formances are at 8 p.m.; Sunday matinees are at 3 p.m. For information and reservations, contact the Aiken Community Playhouse at (803) 648-1438.

AIKEN CHOR AL SOCIETY ANNUAL SPRING CONCERT May 22, 7:30 p.m., at St. Mary Help of Christians Catholic Church. Free and open to the public. For more information, contact the Aiken Chamber of Commerce, (803) 641-1111.

ASHANTI AND MR. CHEEKS per form at For t Gordon’s Bar ton Field June 27. Advance tickets now on sale; call 793-8552 or visit www.for tgordon.com.

HOPELANDS SUMMER CONCERT SERIES continues May 26 with a per formance by the Aiken Civic Ballet Company. All concer ts begin at 7 p.m. on the Windham

“THE HOUSEKEEPER” will be at For t Gordon Dinner Theatre May 22-24. Dinner is at 7 p.m., with show at 8 p.m. Tickets are $30 civilians; $28 seniors, retirees, DA civilians and active duty E8 and above; $17 active duty E7 and below; and $10 show only. For reservations, call 793-8552.

Attractions AUGUSTA CANAL INTERPRETIVE CENTER: Housed in Enterprise Mill, the center contains displays and models focusing on the Augusta Canal’s functions and importance to the tex tile industry. Hours are Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m. and Sun., 1-6 p.m. Admission is $5 adult, $4 seniors and military and $3 children ages 6-18.

Children under 6 admit ted free. For information, visit www.augustacanal.com or call 823-0440.

THE BOYHOOD HOME OF WOODROW WILSON: Circa 1859 Presby terian manse occupied by the family of President Woodrow Wilson as a child during the Civil War and Reconstruction. Original and period antiques, restored house, kitchen and carriage house. 419 Seventh Street. Open 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Tues.-Sat. Tours available; groups of 10 or more by appointment only.

Admission is $5 adults, $4 seniors, $3 students under 18 and free for ages five and under. 722-9828.

AUGUSTA GOLF & GARDENS OF THE GEORGIA GOLF HALL OF FAME features beautiful display gardens, as well as bronze sculptures of some of golf’s greatest masters. Available for rent for a variety of functions.

Group discount rates available. Closed Mondays; open from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Tues.-Sat.; open from 1 to 5 p.m. on Sunday. New spring and summer hours begin March 21: open Tues.-Sat. 9 a.m.-9 p.m. and Sundays 11 a.m.-7 p.m. Admission is $5.50 for adults; $4.50 for students, seniors and military; $3.50 for children (4 to 12); free for children 3 and under. Sundays are two for one with a Super Sunday coupon. Annual garden memberships are available. Call 724-4443 or 1-888-8744443. Also, visit their Web site at www.gghf.org.

NATIONAL SCIENCE CENTER’S FORT DISCOVERY: Children and adults alike can immerse themselves in the wonders of science through live demonstrations, vir tual realities, Starlab, KidScape and more than 250 hands-on exhibits. General Admission: $8 for adults; $6 for children, seniors and active military. Group rates available. Operating hours: Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sunday, noon-5 p.m. Call 821-0200, 1-800-325-5445 or visit their Web site at www.NationalScienceCenter.org.

REDCLIFFE STATE HISTORIC SITE: 1859 mansion of S.C. Governor James Henry Hammond, held by the family for three generations until 1975. Hours are 9 a.m.-6 p.m., Thursday-Monday on the grounds. House tours are noon-3 p.m. by appointment. Closed Tuesday and Wednesday. Admission to the grounds is free. Fee for house tours is $3 for adults and children ages 6 to 17. For more information, call (803) 827-1473. 181 Redclif fe Road, Beech Island.

SACRED HEART CULTUR AL CENTER is of fering tours of its 100-year-old building. Mon.-Fri., 9 a.m.-5 p.m. $1 per person, children free. 826-4700.

HISTORIC COTTON EXCHANGE WELCOME CENTER: Open Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m.; Sun. 1-5 p.m.

Riverwalk. Free. 724-4067.

THE EZEKIEL HARRIS HOUSE: Deemed “the finest 18th century house surviving in Georgia” by the “Smithsonian Guide to Historic America.” Open Saturday, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. General admission is $2; senior admission is $1 and children get in for 50 cents. For more information, call 724-0436.

Museums

“ARTR AGEOUS SUNDAY: THE ART OF COLLAGE” June 1, 2 p.m., at the Morris Museum of Ar t. Create your own collage, using the work of Romare Bearden as inspiration. Free. Call 724-7501 for details.

BROWN BAG HISTORY SERIES June 4, noon, at the Augusta Museum of History. This month’s program is on “Louisville: Georgia’s First Permanent Capital.” Free to members and $2 for non-members. Bring a lunch and the museum provides a beverage and desser t. Call 722-8454 by June 3 to reserve a spot.

“STORYTELLING IN SOUTHERN ART” theme tour at the Morris Museum of Ar t May 25, 2 p.m. Free. 724-7501.

“END OF A DREAM: THE FLIGHT AND CAPTURE OF JEFFERSON DAVIS” plays continuously in the History Theater at the Augusta Museum of History during June.

Free with admission. Call 722-8454 for information.

“RETURN OF THE DINOSAURS” exhibit at For t Discovery May 24-Sept. 21. A group of animatronic dinosaurs will be on display in the Knox Gallery.

Admission to the exhibit is free with paid general admission to For t Discovery. For information, call 8210200 or 1-800-325-5445.

“CONVERSATIONS: LOOKING AT AFRICAN-AMERICAN ART” May 22 at the Morris Museum of Ar t, 7-9 p.m.

Conversation about the Walter O. Evans Collection of African-American Ar t and reception. Free for members

25

or $3 for non-member adults and $2 for non-member seniors, students or military. Reservations required; 724-7501.

“ONE MAN, TWO SHIPS: LESSONS IN HISTORY AND COUR AGE” is a new permanent exhibition at the Augusta Museum of History. Now open, the exhibit showcases the USS Augusta and Lieutenant Colonel Jimmie Dyess. “Twice a Hero: The Jimmie Dyess Story” plays continuously through May 31 in the museum’s History Theatre and is free with admission. Call the museum at 722-8454 for more information.

THE GERTRUDE HERBERT INSTITUTE OF ART in Ware’s Folly exhibits works by local and regional ar tists. Ar t classes, workshops and other educational programming for children, youth and adults are held in the Walker-Mackenzie Studio. Ware’s Folly galleries open Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Thursday, 10 a.m.-7 p.m.; and Saturday by appointment only. The Walker-Mackenzie Studio gallery is open Tuesday-Friday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Admission is free, but a donation of $2 for adults and $1 for children and seniors is encouraged. Call 722-5495 for more info.

THE AUGUSTA MUSEUM OF HISTORY hosts permanent exhibition “Augusta’s Story,” an award-winning exhibit encompassing 12,000 years of local history. For the younger crowd, there’s the Susan L. Still Children’s Discovery Gallery, where kids can learn about history in a hands-on environment. The museum also shows films in the History Theatre and hosts a variety of programs. Located at 560 Reynolds Street. Open TuesdaySaturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sunday 1-5 p.m.

Admission is $4 adult, $3 seniors, $2 kids (6-18 years of age) and free for children under 6. Free admission on Sundays. Call 722-8454 or visit www.augustamuseum.org for more information.

THE MORRIS MUSEUM OF ART hosts exhibitions and special events year-round. Open Tuesday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sundays, noon-5 p.m. Closed on Mondays and major holidays. 1 Tenth Street, Augusta.

Call 724-7501 or visit www.themorris.org for details.

THE MUSEUM OF LAUREL AND HARDY OF HARLEM, GEORGIA features displays of various Laurel and Hardy memorabilia; films also shown.

Located at 250 N. Louisville Street in downtown Harlem. Open 1-4 p.m. Thursday-Monday. For more information, call 556-3448.

LUNCH AT NOON LECTURE SERIES held the second Wednesday of every month at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum of Black History, 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Call the museum at 724-3576 for more information.

Special Events ANNUAL HEMEROCALLIS SHOW, sponsored by the Daylily Societ y of Greater Augusta and Augusta Mall, June 7, 1-8 p.m., at the mall. Free and open to the public. Call the Daylily Societ y of Greater Augusta, 863-2261.

JUNE FILM SERIES Tuesdays, 6:30 p.m. at Headquar ters Library: June 3 showing of “The Killing,” June 10 showing of “King of Hear ts,” June 17 showing of “About Schmidt,” June 24 showing of “Drugstore Cowboy.” Free admission. 821-2600.

FAMILY Y OPEN HOUSE LUAU May 31, at all of its branch locations. Open to the public. Free swimming, food and “tr y it” fitness classes, as well as family activities. Held 7 a.m.-6 p.m. at Wilson Branch, 8 a.m.-5 p.m. at Wheeler Branch, 1-4 p.m. at Southside Branch and 8 a.m.-5 p.m. at Marshall Branch. For information, call 733-1030, 738-6678, 738-6680 or 364-3269.

SCHOLARSHIPS FOR THE GR ADUATING CLASS OF 2003 are of fered by the Sergeants Major Association of For t Gordon to legal dependents of active, reserve, retired or deceased military personnel living in the CSRA. Application deadline is June 24. For information, contact, Sergeant Major Alfred Simmons, 791-7985.

BOOK SIGNING May 24, 6-8 p.m., at Borders Books and Music. William Rawlings signs “Lazard Legacy.”

737-6962.

FORT GORDON MAY RETIREMENT REVIEW May 29, 9:30 a.m., in Alexander Hall on Chamberlain Avenue.

Open to the public. For information, call the For t Gordon Public Af fairs Of fice at 791-6001.

SAFETY STAND-UP DAY at For t Gordon’s Bar ton Field May 22, 9 a.m. Military and of f-post organizations will be on hand to give information on a variety of safety issues; exhibits will also be on display. Free and open to the public. 791-7233.

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THE CATHOLIC CHURCH OF THE MOST HOLY TRINITY Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults • Are you looking for a new direction in your life?

• Would you like to have a deeper relationship with Jesus Christ, in the theology and teaching of the Catholic Church?

• Do you feel empty, wounded, or restless in your spiritual life?

• Are you interested in becoming a Catholic Christian?

• Have you never been fully initiated into the Catholic faith through the Sacrament of Confirmation?

• Are you a lukewarm Catholic who would like to be refreshed in Catholic truths?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, the R.C.I.A. process may be just what you are looking for.

The R.C.I.A. (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults) is a journey of the faith that offers you a challenge for a vibrant new spirituality in your life.

The R.C.I.A. is an opportunity to experience spirituality as you may have never experienced it before by sharing in the teachings and traditions of the Catholic Church.

The R.C.I.A. is about conversion and understanding the doctrines and the theology of the Catholic Church.

The R.C.I.A. process will help you to understand Catholic liturgy and worship and the Sacraments of the Church.

It is a growing awareness of what Catholic’s believe and profess.

For more information: Director of R.C.I.A. Church of the Most Holy Trinity P.O. Box 2446 Augusta, GA 30903 or email: cww_mht@bellsouth.net

It is an experience that calls for change; change that is rooted in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

706.722.4944

M E T R O S P I R I T M A Y 2 2 2 0 0 3

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now open

S P I R I T

PORTER FLEMING WRITING COMPETITION is currently accepting submissions in the categories of fiction, nonfiction, poetry and playwriting. Writers residing in Georgia, Florida, Alabama, South Carolina and Nor th Carolina may par ticipate. $10 fee must accompany each entry. Deadline for submissions is June 16. For information, contact Melanie Borger at the Greater Augusta Ar ts Council, 826-4702, ex t. 5.

at 7:30 p.m. and Sundays at 6:30 p.m. Tickets are $10 for May 16-18 preview shows and students; $19.50 Thursdays and Sundays, $22.50 Fridays and $24.50 Saturdays. Group discounts available for parties of 10 or more. Tavern opens one hour and 15 minutes before the show for optional British pub-st yle meal. For tickets, call (404) 874-5299 or visit www.shakespearetavern.com.

MAY FILM SERIES Tuesdays, 6:30 p.m. at Headquar ters Library: May 27 showing of “Local Hero.” Free admission. 821-2600.

RIVERBANKS ZOO AND GARDEN CONCERT SERIES continues June 8 with a 7:30 p.m. per formance by Bela Fleck and the Fleck tones. Riverbanks is located in Columbia, S.C. Advance tickets are $36 and are available online at www.ticketweb.com or by phone at 1866-468-7630.

PEACE VIGIL every Saturday until U.S. troops come home, noon-2 p.m. at the corner of Wrightsboro and Walton Way Ex t., near the Army Reserve Office. For more information, contact Denice Traina, 736-4738.

M A Y

MCDUFFIE FRIENDS OF ANIMALS holds pet adoptions each Saturday, 1-3 p.m. at Superpetz on Bobby Jones Expressway. Call 556-9090 or visit www.pet finder.com.

2 2 2 0 0 3

COLUMBIA COUNTY HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. and every Sunday from 1 to 4 p.m. at PetsMar t. For more info, call 860-5020.

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RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL AND AUGUSTA ANIMAL RESCUE FRIENDS holds pet adoptions at Superpetz of f Bobby Jones Expressway every Sunday from 1 to 4 p.m. Call AARF at 364-4747 or visit www.aar f.net. Adoptions also held at the Richmond County Animal Control Shelter, Tues. through Sun., 1-5 p.m. Call the shelter at 790-6836.

THE CSR A HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. and every Wednesday evening from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. at the Pet Center located behind the GreenJackets Stadium on Milledge Rd. 261-PETS.

Out of Town

“THE PEOPLE VS. MONA” will be per formed at the Woodruf f Ar ts Center in Atlanta June 5-15. For tickets, call (404) 733-5000.

“THE SHAKESPEARE CABARET” will be at the New American Shakespeare Tavern in Atlanta May 23-24 and 30, 11 p.m. Admission is $10, or free with a ticket from the tavern’s production of “Twelf th Night.”

Tickets will be sold at the door only. For information, call (404) 371-3341.

SWIMMING IN THE SPRINGS 9 a.m.-5:30 p.m. May 24-25 at Roosevelt’s Lit tle White House Historic Site in Warm Springs, Ga. For the first time in 30 years, the pools will be open to the public to experience the naturally warm spring water. $20 admission contributes to the museum’s fundraising campaign. Register by calling (706) 655-5870.

HEROES AWARDS GALA June 5, is sponsored by the Atlanta Chapter of the Recording Academy. Brian and Leighanne Lit trell co-host the event; Bo Diddley, Shawn Mullins and more will per form. To be honored at the event are James Brown, Leslie Fram, Fred and Dinah Gretsch and TLC. Held at the Westin Peachtree Plaza Hotel in Atlanta. Contact Michele Rhea Caplinger at (404) 249-8881 for information.

ARTS IN THE PARK May 31, 7:30 p.m., at Water front Park in Beaufor t, S.C. Free concer t by Molasses Creek.

Call (843) 521-0611 for information.

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SPOLETO FESTIVAL U.S.A. showcases world-class theatre, music, dance and visual ar t in Charleston, S.C., May 23-June 8. For venue and ticket information, visit www.spoletousa.org or call (843) 579-3100.

CARIBBEAN WRITERS SERIES book discussion and signing with Alan Cambeira. Cambeira will read and discuss “A zucar: The Story of Sugar” May 22, 6 p.m., at the Authors’ and Writers’ Lounge on the Third Floor of the Auburn Avenue Research Library on AfricanAmerican Culture and History in Atlanta. Call (404) 730-4001, ex t. 302.

JEKYLL ISLAND MUSICAL THEATRE FESTIVAL includes per formances of “Schoolhouse Rock Live,” “State Fair” and “Hello, Dolly!” in rotating reper tory at the Jekyll Island Amphitheatre in Jekyll Island, Ga., May 30-July 27. For information, call (912) 635-4060 or (229) 333-2150.

ON THE BRICKS concer t series star ts May 30 and continues Fridays through Aug. 22 at Centennial Olympic Park in Atlanta. May 30 concer t features Shaggy, Arrested Development, Jason Mraz and Jennifer Love Hewit t. Tickets are $3 per show or $25 for 12. Kids 5 and under get in free. Gates open at 5:30 p.m.

Purchase tickets by phone at 1-800-594-TIX X or online at www.onthebricks.com.

“TWELFTH NIGHT” will be at The New American Shakespeare Tavern in Atlanta through June 29.

Per formances are Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays

“BAT BOY: THE MUSICAL” at the Woodruf f Ar ts Center in Atlanta May 22-June 1. Tickets are $20-$27 for adults and $10 for those 25 years of age and younger.

(404) 733-5000.

“PACIFIC OVERTURES” will be at the Woodruf f Ar ts Center in Atlanta through June 1. Tickets are $17-$46; a limited number of $10 tickets are available to those under 25 years of age. Call the Alliance Theatre Company for tickets at (404) 733-4690.

ATLANTA JAZZ FESTIVAL through May 26 in Atlanta.

For per formance schedules or more information on concer ts and events, visit www.atlantafestivals.com or call (404) 817-6851.

GEORGIA RENAISSANCE FESTIVAL weekends through June 8, 10:30 a.m.-6 p.m. in Fairburn, Ga. At tractions include games, rides, live enter tainment, joust, birds of prey exhibit and more. Tickets available online at www.georgiarenaissancefestival.com or by phone at (770) 964-8575.

AT THE GEORGIA MUSEUM OF ART in Athens, Ga.: “Alfred H. Maurer: American Modern” through June 15; “The Weaving Room: The History of Weaving at Berry College” through July 6. For more information, visit www.uga.edu/gamuseum or call (706) 542-4662.

HARDEEVILLE (S.C.) MOTOR SPEEDWAY 2003 R ACING SCHEDULE is May 24, June 7 and 21, July 12 and 26 and Aug. 9, 16 and 30. For information, call (843) 784-RACE. “CLEMENT GREENBERG: A CRITIC’S COLLECTION” is on display at the Columbia Museum of Ar t in Columbia, S.C., through June 17. (803) 799-2810.

THE HIGH MUSEUM OF ART’S FOLK ART AND PHOTOGR APH GALLERIES host two exhibitions through Aug. 9: “Land of My th and Memory: Clarence John Laughlin and Photographers of the South” and “Faces and Places: Picturing the Self in Self-Taught Ar t.” Call (404) 577-6940.

“FOR THIS WORLD AND BEYOND: AFRICAN ART FROM THE FRED AND RITA RICHMAN COLLECTION” through May 25 at the High Museum of Ar t in Atlanta.

Call (404) 733-HIGH or visit www.high.org for info.

Benefits “UNCLE HAM WANTS YOU TO KISS A PIG” grand finale event to raise money for the CSRA chapter of the American Diabetes Association. Held 6-10 p.m.

May 23 at the Marbur y Center. Tickets are $25 and include hors d’oeuvres, music, silent auction and viewing of the candidate who wins the chance to kiss a pig. Call 828-0420.

FIRST ANNUAL CHARITY RUN FOR RONALD MCDONALD HOUSE OF AUGUSTA five-stop observation poker ride May 31. First bikes leave Augusta Harley-Davidson at 9 a.m.; last bikes leave at 11 a.m. All riders welcome. Registration fee is $10 per bike. Call Cheryl, 651-0444, or Vikki, 724-5901.

PARKINSON’S AWARENESS AUCTION May 27, 5:30 p.m., at St. John Towers Dining Room. All proceeds fund Parkinson’s research. Hosted by CSRA Parkinson’s Suppor t Group. Call 860-5868 or 8636355 for information.

ROCK, ROLL, REMEMBER: BENEFIT CONCERT TO SUPPORT THE JENNY CLARK SCHOLARSHIP FUND May 22, 6 p.m., at the Imperial Theatre. The Aphrodisiacs, Daze of Haze, Blender, The Big Mighty and Redbelly will per form. All-ages show. Tickets are $10 and may be purchased at the Imperial Theatre Box Of fice star ting at 5 p.m. May 22, or in advance at Last Call. Post-concer t gathering at Last Call features special appearances by other local musicians. For more information, contact Tom Clark, 860-9457.

AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL is in need of dog and cat food, cat lit ter and other pet items, as well as monetary donations to help pay for vaccinations. Donations accepted during regular business hours, Tues.-Sun., 1-5 p.m. at the shelter, 4164

Mack Lane. Call 790-6836 for information.

SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER BLOOD DRIVES in various locations around the CSRA this month. The blood center is urging people of all blood types to donate in order to combat a blood supply shor tage. For detailed information on locations and times to donate, visit www.shepeardblood.org. You may also call Susan Edwards at (803) 643-7996 for information on Aiken locations and Nancy Szocinski at 737-4551 for information on all other locations.

AMERICAN RED CROSS BLOOD DRIVES at the Aiken Red Cross Blood Center on Millbrook Drive and the Augusta Red Cross Blood Center on Pleasant Home Road. The bloodmobile will also stop at various area locations this week. For a complete list, call the Aiken Blood Center at (803) 642-5180 or the Augusta Blood Center at 868-8800.

Learning BOATING SKILLS AND SEAMANSHIP COURSE May 29-June 24 at the Augusta Por t Authority Building, 103 River front Dr. $30 fee for course materials. The U.S. Coast Guard Auxiliary of fers information on legal responsibilities, personal safety, boat handling, federal and state regulations and more. No on-the-water activities are included. Register by contacting Wade Hammer at 738-6446 or Rober t Johnson, 832-6939.

INTERMEDIATE EXCEL class Wednesdays, star ting May 28 at the Wallace Branch Library from 11 a.m.noon. 722-6275.

AUGUSTA STATE UNIVERSITY LITER ACY CENTER hosts a workshop for teachers of infants, toddlers, preschool and school-age children featuring hands-on classroom activities. Held May 31, 8 a.m.-2 p.m., at Washington Hall Towers on the ASU campus. Cost is $24 per person. RSVP to 733-7043.

Hottie Hunt You know who they are. The people you secretly lust after. Maybe you know a sexy stable boy from Aiken, a luscious grocery store clerk here in Augusta or a tractor-driving hunk from Columbia County. The guy or gal who serves you espresso at the coffee place, lunch or dinner at your favorite restaurant or tends bar at your regular watering hole. Maybe it’s the hottie who delivers packages to your office or works in the store where you buy clothes. It could be the sexy person who works in your office or that fine hottie who’s always two treadmills down from you at the gym. It could be anybody, as long as they’re hot…

But not … a local celebrity, media person, politician, stripper or money-grubbing professional. We want REAL people.

In the June 26 edition of The Spirit we’ll pay tribute to these unsung hotties. To do that WE NEED YOUR HELP. Complete the ballot and inform us how to find the hottie(s) that get your attention – time and time again.

GR ANT WRITING INTERMEDIATE LEVEL WORKSHOP May 30, 8 a.m.-2 p.m., at Augusta Technical College. Cost is $100 and includes course materials, cer tificate, break fast and lunch. Call 210-2547 for more information.

When we’ve compiled the results we’ll contact these hotties and feature them in The Spirit.

Come on, tell us the object of your secret lust.

BASIC MICROSOFT WORD class Thursdays, May 22June 19. Held at the Wallace Branch Library; call 7226275 to register.

THE HOTTIE HUNT RULES AND REQUIREMENTS: • Enter as many names as you like. Locally famous people will be discarded. We know Danielle Reese is definitely a hottie, but she’d be disqualified under the contest guideines. Get it?

SMALL BUSINESS WORKSHOP at the Universit y of Georgia Business Outreach Ser vices Small Business Development Net work in Augusta: Self-Employment and Franchising: The Best of Both Worlds May 27.

Fee is $35 and workshop is held from 6:30-8:30 p.m. 737-1790.

USC-AIKEN CONTINUING EDUCATION of fers the following courses: Golfing for Fun, Creative Writing and more. USC-Aiken also of fers Education to Go classes online. Call the Of fice of Continuing Education at (803) 641-3288.

• Tell us as much as you can about the person(s) you choose. Names (if you know), where they work and what time you think we can reach them, and why you think your pick is a hottie.

Provide as much indentification and information as possible so we can find these sexy people.

Of course, your name is not required and we will feature interviews with these hotties ONLY with their permission. So enter the contest and make your favorite hottie famous.

YOU MAY ENTER YOUR PICK BY MAIL, FAX OR COMPLETE OUR ONLINE BALLOT Mail: Hottie Hunt c/o Metro Spirit P.O. Box 3809 Augusta, GA 30914

AUGUSTA STATE UNIVERSITY CONTINUING EDUCATION is now of fering the following classes: Garden Design, Intermediate Photography, Acting Workshop, Beginning Shag, Intro to Mountain Biking and Trails, Intermediate Line Dance, Drivers Education and more.

Also, ASU of fers online courses. For more information, call 737-1636 or visit www.ced.aug.edu.

AIKEN TECH CONTINUING EDUCATION of fers the following courses: PCs, Microsof t Word, Microsof t Of fice, Massage, Health Care Career Courses, Spanish, Rape Aggression Defense, Defensive Driving and more.

Aiken Tech also of fers Education to Go classes online.

For more information or to register, call (803) 5939231, ex t. 1230.

Health DIET COUNSELING CLASSES for diabetics and those with high cholesterol at CSRA Par tners in Health, 1220 Augusta West Park way. Free. Call 860-3001 for class schedule.

PROJECT LINK COMMUNITY LECTURE SERIES is held the first Tuesday of every month and is sponsored by the MCG Children’s Medical Center. Project Link provides educational resources and guidance for families who have children with developmental delays, disabilities and other specialized health concerns. Free and open to the public; takes place from 6:30-8 p.m. in the main conference room at the Children’s Medical Center. June 3 panel discussion is on resources in the community. Call 721-6838 for information.

UNIVERSITY HEALTH CARE SYSTEM COMMUNITY EDUCATION holds workshops, seminars and classes on a variety of topics: weight and nutrition, women’s

Fax: 706-733-6663 Online: www.metspirit.com

Deadline for Entries: Wednesday, June 18 Ballot Info: Name (if known)______________________________________________________________________________ Where the Hottie Works_______________________________________________________________________ What is this Hottie’s Job_______________________________________________________________________ Description of this Hottie and your comments__________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________________

27 M E T R O S P I R I T M A Y 2 2 2 0 0 3

28

health, cancer, diabetes, seniors’ health and more.

Suppor t groups and health screenings are also of fered. Call 736-0847 for details.

M E T R O

PEACHCARE FOR KIDS AND RIGHT FROM THE START MEDICADE offers free or low-cost health coverage to qualifying families. Coverage includes prenatal care, hospitalization, vaccines, dental and vision care and is available to pregnant women of all ages and to children through age 19. Contact the RSM Project at 729-2086 or 721-5611 for information.

S P I R I T

YOGA CLASSES at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital are held on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 7-8 a.m. for $45/month or 10:30 a.m. to noon for $55/month.

Call 823-6294.

M A Y

INSIGNIA

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FREE HIV/AIDS TESTING ever y Tuesday from 4 to 7 p.m. at St. Stephen’s Ministr y, 922 Greene Street.

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W.G. WATSON, M.D., WOMEN’S CENTER CONDUCTS EDUCATION CLASSES at University Hospital. Course topics include Lamaze, breast feeding, parenting and grandparenting. Par tners will learn positive suppor t techniques. There are also programs designed to help older siblings adjust to new family members. Some classes are free, while others require a fee.

Registration is required by calling 774-2825.

29

FREE ALIGNMENT CHECK

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Thrust

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“SUMMER FUN” DAY CAMP June 2-Aug. 8, running in two-week sessions, at the Smith-Hazel Recreation Center in Aiken. Open to children ages 4-12. Cost is $60 per session; out-of-city residents pay an additional $27.50. (803) 642-7635.

SOCCER SKILLS class for kids 4-5 years old who have never played soccer before or are looking to improve their skills. Cost is $30 for Aiken cit y residents and $47.50 for all others. Held at the H.O. Weeks Center June 2-July 7, 6-6:45 p.m. Call (803) 642-7631 for information.

“ALL-STARS” SUMMER CAMP runs in two sessions, June 2-12 and 16-26. Both sessions are free and camp is held 9 a.m.-4:30 p.m. Monday-Thursday. All-Stars is a character education program for youth in grades 5-7 and is sponsored by SAFE Team of Aiken County.

Sessions are free, but space is limited, so call (803) 649-1900, ex t. 331 or 310 to register.

PLANETARIUM SHOWS FOR SUMMER GROUPS with special show times Wednesdays and Thursdays at the DuPont Planetarium. Reservations are required; for details, contact Janice Weeks at (803) 641-3769 or 278-1967, ex t. 3769.

19

WITH OIL CHANGE SAVE ON 20-POINT VEHICLE INSPECTION

99

A FREE WOMEN’S HEALTH CLINIC is held from 6-8 p.m. on Tuesdays at the Salvation Army and Welfare Center, 1383 Greene St. Ser vices include Pap smear, breast exam and the diagnosis and treatment of sexually transmit ted diseases. For more info or an appointment, call the St. Vincent dePaul Health Center at 828-3444.

Kids

84 61 65

$

DUELER AT

HATHA YOGA CLASSES at the St. Joseph Home Health Care Center in Daniel Village Plaza. Held 10 a.m. to noon Monday, Wednesday and Friday and 6:30-8:30 p.m. Monday through Thursday. $10 per class or $60 a month for unlimited classes. Mats are provided, but bring a towel and a water bot tle. Call Tess at 738-2782 for more information.

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AUGUSTA CLEARANCE CENTER 2705 Peach Orchard Rd. (Closed Sun) ..................706-798-8882 AUGUSTA EXCHANGE 274 Rob’t C. Daniels Pkwy............................................706-667-8008 CENTRAL AUGUSTA 617 15th Street (Closed Sun) ...........................................706-724-5800 EVANS CROSSING 4359 Washington Rd. ...........................................................706-210-8010 HEPHZIBAH 2601 Tobacco Rd. ...........................................................................706-790-0977 MARTINEZ 3849 Washington Rd. .........................................................................706-860-6303 N. AUGUSTA 404 E. Martintown Rd. (Closed Sun) .............................................803-278-4466

CHILDREN’S STORYTIME at Borders Books and Music May 26, 11 a.m. Celebrate the holiday with a reading of “Memorial Day” by Robin Nelson. Call 7376962 for details.

MATH AND SCIENCE CAMP for students entering 3rd and 4th grades. Held June 2-6, June 23-27 and July 14-18 at For t Discover y. Cost is $125 for members and $150 for non-members. Before- and af ter-camp care available for addi tional fee. Contact Lisa Golden, 821-0646.

“SAFETY IN THE CAR” program June 4, 10:30-11:30 a.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. Call 736-6244 for information.

“DISCOVERY ISLAND” CAMP for students entering 4th and 5th grades. Held June 2-6 at For t Discovery. Cost is $125 for members and $150 for non-members.

Before- and af ter-camp care available for additional fee. Contact Lisa Golden, 821-0646.

LEON MOORE, GUEST STORYTELLER from WAGT Channel 26 at the Friedman Branch Library June 3.

Story time is 10 a.m. for preschoolers and 10:30 a.m. for school-age children. Call 736-6758 for information.

“MISSION TO MARS” CAMP for students entering 2nd and 3rd grades. Held May 26-30, June 16-20

The “Return of the Dinosaurs” exhibit opens at Fort Discovery May 24 and runs through Sept. 21. Call 821-0200 for details. and July 7-11 at For t Discover y. Cost is $125 for members and $150 for non-members. Before- and af ter-camp care available for additional fee. Contact Lisa Golden, 821-0646.

“WATER SAFETY” with ranger David Quebedeaux of the U.S. Corps of Engineers June 4. Held 10 a.m. for preschoolers and 10:30 a.m. for school-age children at the Friedman Branch Library. Call 736-6758.

“DISCOVER WHODUNIT” CAMP explores forensic science with students entering 4th and 5th grades. Held May 26-30 at For t Discovery. Cost is $125 for members and $150 for non-members. Before- and af tercamp care available for additional fee. Contact Lisa Golden, 821-0646.

FIRE HOUSE AND SMOKE HOUSE with the Richmond County Fire Depar tment June 5, 10 a.m.-noon at the Friedman Branch Library. Call 736-6758 for information.

“SCIENCE POTPOURRI” CAMP for students entering 2nd and 3rd grades. Held June 2-6, June 9-13 and July 21-25 at For t Discover y. Cost is $125 for members and $150 for non-members. Before- and af tercamp care available for additional fee. Contact Lisa Golden, 821-0646.

STORYTIME WITH STORYTELLER JACKIE JOHNS June 4, 10 a.m., at the Ma xwell Branch Library. Call 793-2020 to register.

“DR AW ON NATURE II” CAMP of fers ar t, science and technology activities to students entering 2nd and 3rd grades. Held May 26-30 and July 28-Aug. 1 at For t Discovery. Cost is $125 for members and $150 for non-members. Before- and af ter-camp care available for additional fee. Contact Lisa Golden, 821-0646.

DINO DAY CAMP Mondays and Tuesdays, May 26-Aug. 11, at For t Discovery. Mondays are for 4th and 5th graders; Tuesdays are for 2nd and 3rd graders. Camp hours are 9 a.m.-3:30 p.m. with before- and af tercamp care available for $5 per session. Camp cost is $25 for For t Discovery members and $30 for nonmembers. To register, contact Lisa Golden, 821-0646.

VACATION READING PROGR AM KICK OFF CARNIVALS: At the Appleby Branch Library May 28, 10:30 a.m.-noon, and at the Ma xwell Branch Library May 31, 1-4 p.m. Refreshments, games and craf ts will be featured at the Appleby Branch Library; 736-6244. Miss Myr tle Beach leads story time and Ben and Keeter perform a puppet show at the Ma xwell Branch Library; 793-2020.

FAMILY Y SUMMER CAMPS of fer a variety of traditional and special interest camps for children 4-17 years old. For specifics, call 733-1030, 738-6678, 738-6680 or 364-3269.

SUMMER FREEDOM FUN BASH out-of-school celebration at Augusta Golf and Gardens May 29, 8-11 p.m. $7 ticket covers admission, snacks, beverages, music, enter tainment and more. Call 724-4443 for details.

“SUMMER OF FUN” DAY CAMPS June-August at Riverview Park in Nor th Augusta. Eight themed oneweek sessions will be of fered and include ar t camp, magic camp, music camp, Spanish camp, inventor’s camp and science camp. Cost is $100 per session. For information, call 667-8806.

PTA KICKOFF AND EXPO May 31, 9 a.m.-noon at Meadowbrook Elementary. Outgoing and incoming PTA leaders will receive information and tools to prepare for the upcoming PTA year. For more information, visit

SUMMER VACATION READING PROGR AM at all East Central Georgia Regional Libraries. Children who complete 20 books or read for 10 hours over the summer receive a pack of summer time treats. Obtain a reading folder at any of the libraries or call Headquar ters Library at 821-2600 for details.

“EVERY CHILD AN ARTIST” SUMMER ART CAMP, presented by the Ger trude Herber t Institute of Ar t, is now accepting registration. Weeklong sessions run throughout June and July in locations downtown and in Columbia County. Open to children ages 5-14. Per-session cost is $50 for GHIA members and $65 for nonmembers; tuition assistance is also available. For information, call 722-5495.

KENNY THOMAS BASEBALL CAMP for kids 5-14 years old runs in two sessions at USC-Aiken: June 16-20 and July 21-25, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Early drop-of f and late pickup also available. Cost is $160 per session. Call (803) 642-7761 for details.

MOVIES FOR ALL AGES 1:30 p.m. Wednesdays throughout May at the Euchee Creek Library. 556-0594.

GIBBS LIBR ARY SUMMER STORYTIME REGISTR ATION now open. Call 863-1946 for more information or to register your child.

STORYLAND THEATRE is now taking reservations for the 2003-2004 season: “Sleeping Beauty” Oct. 28-Nov. 1, “The Cour tship of Senorita Florabella” Feb. 24-29 and “Hansel and Gretel” April 13-17. Season tickets for weekday school per formances are $9 per student; season tickets for weekend family matinees are $10.50 per person. For reservations, call Storyland Theatre at 7363455 or fa x a request to 736-3349.

“TECHNOLOGY AND TENNIS FOR LIFE” camp is now accepting registration for summer sessions June 9-27 and July 7-25. Program activities include computer literacy, leadership skills development, tennis instruction and more. To register, call 796-5046.

STORY TIME IN THE GARDENS ever y Tuesday, 4 p.m., through May. Senior ci tizens will read favori te children’s stories to kids 8 and under at Hopeland Gardens in Aiken. Bring a blanket or chair and snacks. Free. Rain location is the H.O. Weeks Center. (803) 642-7631.

HOMEWORK STUDY SKILLS FOR STUDENTS Saturdays from 9 a.m.-noon at Shiloh Comprehensive Community Center. Computers are available. Call 7380089 for info.

CHILDREN’S LEARNING CENTER at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum of Black History open Monday-Friday, 4:30-6:30 p.m., through June. For information, call 724-3576.

ACADEMIC HELP AND TUTORING available Saturdays, 2:30-4:30 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 7226275 to make arrangements.

YOUTH LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT SKILLS PROGRAM for teens ages 12-19 held the third Saturday of the month at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History. Call 724-3576.

WEEKLY STORY SESSIONS at all branch libraries. Visit www.ecgrl.public.lib.ga.us for more information.

FIRST SATURDAY STORYTELLING at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum. In addition, there is a tour of the museum. Held 10 a.m. to noon the first Saturday of the month. Call 724-3576.

Seniors FIT 4 EVER LIGHT IMPACT FITNESS CLASS is $25 for 12 tickets for Aiken ci t y residents and $45 for all others. Classes begin June 2 and are held at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, 10-11 a.m. Call (803) 642-7631 for information.

FREE REGISTR ATION FOR ALZHEIMER’S PATIENTS IN THE NATIONWIDE SAFE RETURN PROGR AM May 29, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. at Autumn Care Adult Day Center, 3654 Dewey Gray Circle. Safe Return is an identification program for Alzheimer’s patients who wander away from home; par ticipants are provided with an engraved bracelet or necklace. For information, call 731-9060 or 1-800-236-0688.

SENIOR CITIZENS FUN DAY at Gyles Park in Aiken features games, food, singing, horseshoes, story telling, poetry reading and more. Held May 29, 10 a.m.-1 p.m.

Rain location is the Smith Hazel Recreation Center.

Free. (803) 642-7635.

THE CARE MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT COMPANY, a non-profit organization, provides transpor tation for seniors who live in the 30906 and 30815 zip code area.

For a minimal fee, door-to-door shut tles provide safe,

clean and dependable transpor tation 9 a.m.-4 p.m.

Appointments must be made 24 hours in advance; call Linda Washington, 733-8771, or leave a message for more information.

COMPUTER CLASSES FOR SENIOR CITIZENS Tuesdays and Thursdays, 11 a.m.-1 p.m. at Shiloh Comprehensive Community Center. For more information, call 738-0089.

Voted Best Steak In Augusta For 15 Years

Barry White Suffers Stroke

1987-2002

AIKEN PARKS AND RECREATION of fers a multitude of programs for senior adults, including bridge clubs, fitness classes, canasta clubs, line dancing, racquetball, ar ts and craf ts, tennis and excursions. For more information, call (803) 642-7631.

JUD C. HICKEY CENTER FOR ALZHEIMER’S CARE provides families and caregivers of those with Alzheimer’s disease and dementia a break during the day. Activities and care available at the adult day center, and homecare is available as well. For information, call 738-5039.

THE ACADEMY FOR LIFELONG LEARNING of fers lectures, courses, field trips, discussion groups and communi t y information seminars on a variet y of topics to mature adul ts. For more information, contact the USC-Aiken Of fice of Continuing Education at (803) 641-3288.

PEOPLE WITH ARTHRITIS CAN EXERCISE (PACE) meets at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital Tuesdays and Thursdays from 1-2 p.m. Call 823-5294.

See page 42

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Grill Out For Memorial Day Fresh made Bratwursts & Frankfurters

ARTHRITIS AQUATICS of fered Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital. Classes meet 9-9:45 a.m., 10-10:45 a.m. or 12:15-1 p.m. $37.50/month. To register, call 733-5959.

Brueckner’s Specialty Meats

SENIORNET provides adults age 50 and over education for and access to computer technology. Many dif ferent courses are of fered. Contact the USC-Aiken Continuing Education Of fice at (803) 641-3563.

SWIMMING LESSONS at the Smith-Hazel Pool in Aiken. Instructors will teach people of all skill levels how to swim; open to ages 2 through adult. Morning and evening classes available, and lessons run in t wo-week sessions June-August. Cost is $30 per session. (803) 642-7631.

SUMMER SWIM LESSONS of fered in two-week sessions May 26-July 31 at the Family Y pools. Classes available for six month olds through adults. Call 7386678, 733-1030 or 738-6680 for details.

101 Shartom Drive • Augusta Business Center Behind Applebee’s

868-0830

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

TAKE ONE HOME TODAY

All Registered Puppies • Pug

• Poodle

• Siberian Husky

• Miniature

Puppy of the Week

ROBERT SAPP BASEBALL CAMP for boys ages 7-14 comes to Thomson May 26-30. Camp runs from 9 a.m.-3 p.m. at Sweetwater Park. Fees are $110 with team rates available for five or more players from a spring league team who register together. For info, contact Bob Howard, (706) 595-2152, or Rober t Sapp, (770) 287-3309.

• Cairn Terrier

DISC GOLF HALL OF FAME CLASSIC, May 30-June 1 at Lake Olmstead, is the highest level pro tournament on the Professional Disc Golf Tournament’s 2003 tour.

For more information, visit ht tp://www.members.aol.com/hofclassic, e-mail HOFclassic@aol.com, or call Brian Graham, 736-8537.

• Pomeranian

• Miniature Pinscher

• Yorkshire Terrier

• American Bulldog

AUGUSTA GREENJACKETS HOME GAMES May 2224, 27-31 and June 1-2, 12-15, 20-22 and 26-30.

Tickets are $6-$8 for adults; $5 for senior citizens, militar y personnel and children 4-12; and $1 for children 3 and under. For tickets, visit www.tixonline.com or call 736-7889.

Schnauzer

• American Cocker

• Bassett Hound

Spaniel

• Jack Russell Terrier

• Chinese Crested

• Dachshund

Powder Puff

IF

• Maltese

WE DON’T HAVE IT, WE CAN GET IT!

THE AUGUSTA RUGBY CLUB is always looking for new members. Teams available for women and men; no experience necessary. Practice is Tuesday and Thursday nights, 7-9 p.m. at Richmond Academy. For more information, call Don Zuehlke, 495-2043, or email augustar fc@yahoo.com. You may also visit www.augustarugby.org.

Volunteer ADOPT-A-STREAM TRAINING May 24 and 31, 9 a.m.-3 p.m. at the Spirit Creek Educational Forest, 4052 Smokey Rd. Register by contacting Cathy Black, 790-

Siberian Husky

Kitten of the Week

Family to the Asian Leopard

INTRODUCTORY AND DROP-IN CLIMBING Fridays, 5:30-6:30 p.m., at the Virginia Acres Park Climbing Wall in Aiken. Cost is $5 per session. Call (803) 6427631 for information.

M E T R O S P I R I T M A Y 2 2 2 0 0 3

2856 Washington Rd. 73-STEAK 1654 Gordon Hwy. 796-1875

THE SENIOR CITIZENS COUNCIL OF GREATER AUGUSTA AND THE CSR A of fers a variety of classes, including aerobics, quilting, tai chi, Spanish, painting, line dancing, bowling, bridge, computers, pilates and pinochle. For dates and times, phone 826-4480.

Sports

29

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▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼

www.csrapta.org or call 738-6061.

e Exclusiv r to Distribu of:

Bengal Kittens

North Augusta Plaza Shopping Center (next to Publix) 803-279-5557 ** Offers good at this location only **

UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT

Financing Available • All Major Credit Cards Accepted

30 M E T R O S P I R I T

Memorial Day Events

2351; Ginny Brady, 821-0632; or Frank Carl, 364-5253.

GREATER AUGUSTA ARTS COUNCIL ART CAMP is looking for volunteers to assist teachers June 2-Aug. 1. For more information, call 826-4702.

CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY NEW VOLUNTEER ORIENTATION PROGRAM the third Saturday of every month at the Pet Center, 425 Wood St. Orientation star ts at 11 a.m. Volunteers under 18 years of age must have a parent or guardian present during orientation and while volunteering. Call 261-PETS for information.

AUGUSTA RED CROSS SUMMER YOUTH VOLUNTEER PROGR AM of fers oppor tunities for youth to volunteer at Doctors Hospital and other human ser vice agencies. Youth must be responsible and demonstrate maturit y. For information, contact Lynn Reese at 7248484 by May 23.

M A Y 2 2

WORLD HERITAGE FOREIGN EXCHANGE PROGRAM is looking for area families, couples and single parents to host high-school-aged foreign exchange students for a semester or a year in the U.S. For more information, visit www.world-heritage.org or contact Beth Folland, (803) 279-2696 or 1-800-888-9040.

2 0 0 3

FORT DISCOVERY STUDENT VOLUNTEER PROGRAM is looking for volunteers, ages 15 and up, to commit 30 hours over the summer. For more information on this oppor tunity, contact Millie Schumacher, 821-0609.

THE KITTY ORTIZ DE LEON FOUNDATION needs volunteers to help promote organ donor awareness. For more information, please contact Cassandra Reed at 481-0105 or kodfoundation@aol.com.

The Augusta Concert Band gives its “All-American Memorial Day Concert” May 26 at the Jessye Norman Amphitheatre on Riverwalk.

MEMORIAL DAY CEREMONY in the cour tyard of the Georgia War Veterans Nursing Home May 26, 9 a.m. For t Gordon’s U.S. Army Signal Corps Band will per form. Open to the public. For information, contact Charles Esposito, 721-2531.

AIKEN MEMORIAL DAY PAR ADE May 24, 1 p.m., on Laurens Street. For more information, contact Ed Hammons, (803) 649-4019.

ALL-AMERICAN MEMORIAL DAY CONCERT with the Augusta Concer t Band May 26, 7 p.m., at the Jessye Norman Amphitheatre on Riverwalk. Free admission. For more information, contact Ben Easter, (803) 202-0091 or bandforaugusta@aol.com.

RED, WHITE AND BLUE CELEBR ATION in Evans includes per formance by the U.S. Army Signal Corps Band, parade, awards and more. Held 6-9 p.m. May 24th at the open field on Ronald Reagan Drive, across from the Evans

Government Complex. For more information, contact Beth Robinson at 868-3458.

MEMORIAL DAY OBSERVANCE May 26, 10 a.m., at Bellevue Memorial Gardens, 4501 Wrightsboro Rd. in Grovetown. A bugler and color guard from For t Gordon will par ticipate. Call 863-2570 for more information.

MEMORIAL DAY RIDE FOR HOSPITALIZED VETER ANS May 25. Motorcycle and antique car ride begins at 2 p.m. at the Augusta VA Medical Center, 1 Freedom Way. Entry fee is at least one gif t for a hospitalized veteran; suggested gif ts include stationary, stamps, phone cards, books, playing cards, slippers, pajamas, robes, personal care items and any other gif ts that may be useful. For more info, contact Larry, (803) 4423877, or Rod, 667-6622.

MEMORIAL DAY CEREMONY at the Veterans of All Wars Monument, 11 a.m.

May 26. For information, contact Maj. Luther W. Price at 737-7168.

GOLDEN HARVEST FOOD BANK needs volunteers during the day, Monday-Friday, to help sor t donated products and assist in their agency shopping area. Help is needed year-round. If you are able to lif t 25 pounds and would like to help fight hunger in the Augusta area, contact Laurie Roper at 736-1199, ex t. 208.

THOROUGHBRED RACING HALL OF FAME DOCENTS NEEDED: Duties include opening and closing the Hall of Fame, greeting visitors and providing information about museum exhibits. Call Lisa Hall, (803) 642-7650 for information.

OLDER AMERICANS ACT SENIOR NUTRITION PROGR AM is looking for volunteers to ser ve meals to needy older residents. To volunteer, contact the Senior Citizens Council at 826-4480. For those in need of home-delivered meals, call 210-2018 or toll free at 1-888-922-4464.

AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL: New volunteer orientation is scheduled the first Saturday of each month at 1 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane.

Schedule subject to change; call 790-6836 to verify dates and times.

SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER is seeking donors to prevent a blood supply shor tage. To donate call 737-4551, 854-1880 or (803) 643-7996.

Meetings CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY MONTHLY MEETING May 27, 7 p.m., at the Pet Center. Program will be on compassion fatigue and strategies for coping with it. Open to the public. Call 261-PETS for more information.

THE CANOE AND KAYAK CLUB OF AUGUSTA meets the four th Tuesday of every month, 7 p.m., at the Warren Road Community Center. New members are always welcome. For more information, visit www.ckca.homestead.com or contact Jim Mashburn, 860-5432.

COUNTY meets May 27, 7 p.m., at Universit y Medical Center South, 3121 Peach Orchard Rd. Call 798-3890 for details.

AUGUSTA AREA SURVIVORS OF SUICIDE meets May 25, 3 p.m., at Advent Lutheran Church, 3232 Washington Rd. Call 863-6785 for more information.

SOCIETY FOR HUMAN RESOURCE MANAGEMENT AUGUSTA AREA CHAPTER hosts a seminar and luncheon May 28, 11:45 a.m.-1:30 p.m. at the Holiday Inn West. Program is on “Best HR Practices in Suppor ting Employees Serving in the Military.” Cost for non-members is $15. RSVP by May 23 to Karen Whitman, 2202915 or karen.whitman@siteleast.com.

Weekly

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: For more information and a meeting schedule, call 860-8331.

OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS meets Tuesdays, 6-7:30 p.m. Call 785-0006 for location and information.

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS: If you want to stop using any drugs, there is a way out. Help is available at no cost. Call the Narcotics Anonymous help line for information and meeting schedules at 855-2419.

CHRIST-BASED RECOVERY MEETING every Tuesday, 6:30 p.m., at the Love & Light Healing Center. Please use the back entrance. For information, contact Kenny Stacy, 373-5585.

FREE ‘N’ ONE SUPPORT GROUP for those bat tling addiction to drugs and alcohol. Approach is a spiritual one. Held ever y Thursday night. For information, contact Sarah Barnes, 772-7325.

TOUGH LOVE SUPPORT GROUP Monday nights, 6:307:30 p.m. at the South Augusta Resource Center. Learn how to understand addiction and how to exercise tough love with those you care about. Call Sarah Barnes, 7727325, for info.

GEORGIA-CAROLINA TOASTMASTERS meets Wednesdays at noon at the Clubhouse, 2567 Washington Rd. $8 for lunch; visitors welcome. 860-9854.

SEXAHOLICS ANONYMOUS, a 12-step program of recovery from addiction to obsessive/compulsive sexual thoughts and behaviors, meets Wednesdays at 8 p.m. and Saturdays at 7 p.m. at Augusta Counselling Services. Call 339-1204 and leave first name and phone number; a confidential reply is assured.

AUGUSTA TOASTMASTERS CLUB #326 meets Thursdays at 7:30 p.m. at Advent Lutheran Church. Call 868-8431.

BUSINESS NETWORK INTERNATIONAL Augusta Chapter meets every Thursday morning from 7 to 8:30 a.m. at the Cour tyards by Mariot t. The group is a business networking group designed to give and receive referrals. All professionals welcome. For more information or to join, call Barbara Crenshaw, 868-3772.

RIVERWALK TOASTMASTERS meets Mondays, 7 p.m. in Classroom 3 at University Hospital. Call Gale Kan, 855-7071.

GUIDELINES: Public Service announcements are listed in this section without charge at the discretion of the editor.

Announcements must be received by Monday at noon and will be included as space permits. Send to Events, The Metropolitan Spirit, P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914 or fa x (706) 733-6663. You may also e-mail listings to rhonda_jones@metspirit.com or lisa_jordan@metspirit.com. Listings cannot be taken over the phone.

PRIDE AND PROGRESS OF AUGUSTA-RICHMOND

AUGUSTA TELEPHONE Celebrating 20 Years

Thank You CSRA 868-5100

Cooper Cliatt

31

Arts: Film

Atlanta Film Festival Offers Smorgasbord of Cinema

M E T R O

BY RHONDA JONES

L

aure never makes it to dinner with friends that night. Instead, she opens her car door to a strange man, and her life is changed forever. He is calm and selfassured, and opens up a world of undreamt-of possibilities in her life in Paris. The film is called “Friday Night,” and is based on a best-selling novel by Emmanuelle Bernheim. If you can nip away on a Thursday and be in Atlanta at the downtown library at 6 p.m. on June 12, then you may see what happens to Laure on her adventure with the stranger.

This is one of the 75 films being featured at the 2003 Atlanta Film Festival, which is running from June 6-14. It is in the International Scene section, which features, of course, films from around the world.

Paul Marchant, festival director of the Atlanta Film Festival, spoke to us about the film festival, which has been going on for quite some time, by the way.

“This is our 27th year,” he said.

So, of course, we had to know about the festival’s mission. “Well, the mission is just to bring the best of independent films to Atlanta and the surrounding community.”

He promises, also, to have something for everyone.

The American Showcase The American Showcase offers movies like “Anne B. Real,” which is set in New York City. It’s about Cynthia, who learns to keep a diary, inspired by that of Anne Frank. Her diary serves a purpose similar to that of Anne’s as Cynthia lives in a troubled family. But there’s a twist. Her brother is selling her personal outpourings to a rap artist. Those are the dominoes. Come watch them fall.

Or how about “A Certain Kind of Death,” which reveals what happens to people who die with no one to take care of the details. We will observe what happens with three bodies, and with the personal assets attached to each. The funny thing is, according to the blurb on the Atlanta Film Festival’s Web site, you will get to know the dead much better than you will get to know any of the living characters.

Then there’s a film that could be about you. “Cinemania” looks at the lives of people who are held hostage inside movie theatres by the characters who obsess them. Hopelessly addicted to films, some of them even see several a day. That’s up to 2,000 films a year for some.

International Scene If the mysterious stranger of “Friday

womb of the mother planet (that would be Earth) out into the big, bad world of space travel with other, more established star-trekking species. “Willy Wonka” is a kid’s wonderland movie, as five youngsters get a tour of the famed chocolate factory, with one lucky stiff winning a lifetime supply of sweet heaven. “Ziggy Stardust” is about David Bowie’s spaceman alter ego, and their final performance together.

“Friday Night” is only one of the 75 films being shown in this year’s Atlanta Film Festival.

Night” doesn’t rock your socks, there are plenty of others. And not all of them are French. “Angela” may appeal to all you “Godfather” and “Sopranos” fans out there. It’s a “vivid exploration” of the Italian Mafia, through Angela’s eyes.

She’s bored, so she seeks adventure, marrying a drug dealer and helping him to build an empire. But Saro leaves her out when things get interesting, so she turns to one of her husband’s men. And it’s based on a true story.

There is absolutely no way I can even hope to do better than the Web site blurb for “Madame Satä,” so I’ll just quote it.

“Legendary criminal. Proud homosexual.

Cabaret star. Passionate lover. Killer.

Devoted father of seven adopted children.

Jet-black, six feet tall, 180 pounds of proud muscle in a silk shirt and tight pants, a cutthroat razor in his back pocket. Saint or devil?” Probably not a film for the faint of heart.

“The Eye” is kind of creepy. It’s from Hong Kong and is about a 20-year-old girl who had been blind since the age of 2. But upon getting new corneas, she regains not her own sight, but someone else’s. When she looks into the mirror, she sees the reflection of the dead woman whose corneas she is wearing.

And as if that weren’t bad enough, she has inherited the donor’s ability to see into the future, where death and tragedy await. Don’t go alone.

Montage OK, this is the experimental stuff, like “Dracula: Pages From a Virgin’s Diary.”

I knew there would be a vampire flick in here if I looked hard enough. The blurb

says it’s “ravishingly stylized.” Works for me. It’s also a “sumptuous, erotically charged feast of dance, drama and shadow.” Sounds yummy, but I have a concern about the count’s age: He’s getting a bit long in the tooth, isn’t he? Sorry. I just had to.

If your taste runs more toward gobbledygook like “transcendence of time,” a “unique juxtaposition of representation and abstraction,” and “flirtations with human perceptive processes,” then “At the First Breath of Wind” is your flick. It explores tiny incidents which reveal something or other. You’ll get “mood, atmosphere and existential absorption.”

Or you may want cartoons. The “Animation Extravaganza” includes the 8-minute “Atomic Love,” in which Mr. Robot struggles with icky feelings that sometimes happen when one goes out on a date; the 5-minute “Dreamscapes,” which is basically a collection of dreams; or maybe you could spend four minutes with Mr. Hairy Legs himself in “Pan With Us,” in which Pan hangs out in the modern world.

There are plenty more cartoons, but if I tell you about all of them, my fingers will fall off.

Restoration Cinema These are the old favorites. Flicks like “2001: A Space Odyssey,” “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory” (which is free, by the way), and “Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars.” There isn’t a whole lot to say, unless they are so far before your time that you haven’t yet seen them. In that case, “2001” is about the birth of the human race from the

Shorts Programs The “48-Hour Film Project: Best of Atlanta Screening and Awards Ceremony” demonstrates what can happen when you put filmmakers under pressure. Given 48 hours to produce something, one team of filmmakers set a house on fire and another filmed four guys becoming the first male synchronized swim team.

The rest of the shorties are shown in groups like this one, with “The Big Show” including titles like “Wedding Night” (16 minutes), “Tom Hits His Head” (11 minutes), and “Boris” (29 minutes), which is about an old man dealing with personal issues which are somehow triggered by the de-orbiting of the Russian space station MIR. “Homegrown” includes titles like “Down the Drain,” “White Bitch Down,” and “The Faith Healer’s Manual for the Slightly Inebriated.”

Marchant said that there is something different about the festival this year. “I suppose the biggest story this year is that we are moving our operations downtown mostly.”

They are making use of spaces like The Rialto Center for the Performing Arts and the Fulton Central Library.

“That move was made in an effort to create a more festive, friendly environment,” he said, adding that it is possible to walk between these venues and that there are plenty of restaurants nearby. In the past, he said, the festival was held at various multiplexes in suburbia.

The Festival starts June 6 at The Rialto Center for the Performing Arts with the Opening Night Gala, featuring “American Splendor” at 8 p.m. They bring it full circle on June 14 with the 8:30 closing ceremony back at The Rialto and the final showing of the season. Tickets are sold for particular movies, and prices run from $4 to $15.

Call 1-866-468-7630 to order tickets. For more information, including a full list of movie titles, times and venues, visit http://www.imagefv.org/aff2003. You may also telephone (404) 352-4225, fax (404) 352-0173 or e-mail aff@imagefv.org.

S P I R I T M A Y 2 2 2 0 0 3

32

Arts: Theater

M E T R O S P I R I T M A Y 2 2

Downtown Lunch Date

2 0 0 3

Go “Into the Woods” and Beyond “Happily Ever After”

BY RHONDA JONES

Brown Bag Series hosted by Riverwalk Special Events every Thursday in the Augusta Common. Bring your own lunch or have lunch with the featured restaurant while listening to the sounds of Augusta’s finest local musicians.

Contact Riverwalk Special Events at (706) 821-1754 for more details or to see how to become a featured restaurant.

Augusta Common 12-2:30pm

Conservative? Aggressive?

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We can help with any style.

By constantly looking for the right investment options, we do everything we can to help our clients reach their short and long-term financial goals.

Sandra Gurley Financial Consultant 1 10th St, Ste 600 Augusta, GA 30901

(706) 724-2601 (800) 241-2401 Sandra.p.gurley@smithbarney.com

©2003 Citigroup Global Markets, Inc. Member SIPC. Smith Barney is a division and service mark of Citigroup Global Markets Inc. and its affiliates and is used and registered throughout the world. CITIGROUP and the Umbrella Device are trademarks and service marks of Citicorp of its affiliates and are used and registered throughout the world.

S

ome people don’t mind if their peas and mashed potatoes touch on the plate ... and some rather like their fairy tales to mix a little as well. That’s the idea behind “Into the Woods,” a musical by Stephen Sondheim which includes at least two handsome princes, Little Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, Rapunzel, a witch, and Jack.

You know, the beanstalk guy.

Intrigued yet? The Metropolitan Spirit recently spoke with Marcia Harris, who is directing Aiken Community Playhouse’s production of the musical.

“Well, it’s a very different story,” she said. “It’s a very cleverly written piece and, as we were discussing last night during rehearsal, was that, if you look hard enough, this particular play has all the elements of life in it.

“If you’re the kind of person who likes to delve into subject matter, there’s a lot there to delve into, particularly in the second act when it makes some very poignant statements about relationships and our lives,” she added.

She said it’s about “what happens after ‘happily ever after,’” about the realities of going out into the world. It’s also about things that go wrong between parents and children.

The witch who holds Rapunzel captive, in this particular production, for example, is not doing it for malevolent reasons.

She is, in fact, an overprotective guardian.

“You can’t smother your kids. You can’t keep them away from all harm, because harm’s going to happen.” The trick, she said, is to teach young people how to handle the problems that inevitably crop up.

The story of the baker and his wife, she said, was created by Sondheim to bind traditional stories together. The couple has hung their “happily ever after” upon having a child, which they’re not being very successful at, because a witch has cursed them. In order to break the spell,

they must perform trials involving the traditional characters: They must bring the witch a cow as white as milk, a cape as red as blood, hair as yellow as corn, and a slipper as pure as gold.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the giant’s widow returns for revenge and the characters must come together to fight her off.

But, though most of these characters are familiar, don’t expect the Disney version of the fairy tales, Harris said. The musical is based on the versions collected by the brothers Grimm.

“It’s really more for older children and adults. I’ve kind of arbitrarily rated it PG,” she added. “Young children are just not going to understand it, because they’re going to want the story of Cinderella; they’re going to want the story of Jack and the beanstalk.”

“There’s a more operatic approach in that, if you don’t listen to the words to the song, you will miss some of the plot,” Harris said.

The Sondheim musical is based on the book by James Lapine. Aiken Community Playhouse will perform “Into the Woods” May 23-24 and 30-31 at 8 p.m. The single matinee performance will be June 1 at 3 p.m., and additional evening performances will be on June 6-7 at 8 p.m. Performances will be held at The Washington Center for the Performing Arts in downtown Aiken, 124 Newberry Street. Ticket prices are $13 general admission, $11 for seniors age 60 and up, $9 for students, $6 for children.

For reservations and information, call (803) 648-1438 between the hours of 9 a.m. and 2 p.m. and 7-9 p.m. Tuesday through Thursday, and on Friday from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. Advance tickets may be paid for and picked up at the box office during the above daytime hours or just before performances. However, and this is very important, unclaimed tix are released to waiting list patrons 15 minutes before the curtain goes up.

33

Arts: Events

Travel Back in Time on Beech Island Heritage Day

M E T R O

BY RHONDA JONES

S P I R I T M A Y

O

n Granville Plantation, the past mingles with the present like a genteel old aunt, whispering irresistible stories and beckoning to anyone who will listen.

James Goodman was not aware of that when he purchased the estate in 1967 – for investment purposes, he said. But the place had other plans.

“I thought the old house was no good, and it looked like a barn. When I got to looking at it, the old house was in good shape. Not a door sagged or anything.”

It did need some repairs, however, so Goodman got to work fixing it up. “I didn’t care about getting it on the National Register or anything, so I remodeled it the way I wanted to,” he said. That meant the addition of fluted columns with Corinthian caps and a Colonial front porch. Aside from that, he said, everything is the same, with the antique doors, fixtures, locks and things of that nature intact.

The condition of the house was not to be Goodman’s only pleasant surprise.

“Well, when I remodeled the house, Wesley O’Neale Dicks was still living. In fact, her husband, Dr. Joseph Dicks in Augusta, was still living. He came out and worked around the cemetery. Shortly after, he died.”

Did we mention the family cemetery is on the grounds?

After her husband’s death, Wesley Dicks sent Goodman “an armload of genealogical records.” About 50 years’ worth, he said.

“So I said, ‘I have to write a book about this someday.’”

About 15 years later, that book started taking shape. Because there were gaps in his knowledge about the family and about the periods in which they lived, the story took the form of a historical novel. But it turned out to be a lot bigger story than Goodman had anticipated.

“Well, I started out with one and it was about a foot thick,” he said, so he broke it apart into four stories.

“The Rusty Charm,” he said, is about an earlier Joseph Dicks, who served in the military during the Revolutionary period, with Frances “Swampfox” Marion. “Ashes to Honor” takes place in the mid-1800s with the following generation. The third is about a related family, the O’Neales. The fourth, “When Angels Sleep,” is about Alfred Dicks, who was responsible for building Goodman’s house in 1840.

Alfred had two sons – Enoch and Seth, who became Confederate soldiers – and two daughters, Mary and Julia, neither of whom married. Mary was the last Dicks to live at Granville Plantation. “She died at the height of the Depression in 1929 and the heirs would have been Dr. Joseph Dicks and his brother Raymond,” Goodman said. “But because of

2 2

the Great Depression, and times were so hard, they let the house go for taxes. Let the whole plantation go for taxes.”

The next people to live there, the couple that Goodman bought the plantation from, were George and Elizabeth Jones, who lived there until 1965.

“I bought it from them in 1967, and have been here ever since with my whole life and my whole hobby keeping it up and taking care of it,” Goodman said.

Five years ago, he and Granville Plantation took in the Beech Island Heritage Day, which had been held for the previous 12 years at Redcliffe State Park.

Now, for one day each year, the old house has the opportunity to see folks roaming its grounds in period costume and dramas from the past come to life.

Last year, according to Jackie Bartley, chair and current president of the Beech Island Historical Society, there was a skit in which soldiers came and drafted a woman’s only plow horse. This year, the theme is going to center around Native Americans.

And there will be tons of stuff to do.

Ladies in period costume will give guided tours all day through the house, Bartley said.

There will be a pageant – the Miss Heritage Day Pageant – which will have its own stage, separate from the other entertainment.

The other entertainment will be Flo Carter and the Sounds of Joy, who perform gospel and patriotic pieces. There will be a couple of other local gospel groups, and a magician called Mr. Magic will perform for a while as well. “He may be on the stage or he may be on the grounds,” Bartley said.

There will be crafters, such as spinners, blacksmiths, and gritsmakers. There will be crafts for sale as well, such as metal toy soldiers, stained glass and pottery. There will be antique automobiles and classic tractors. And for the kiddies, the Graystone Ranch Ark and Traveling Petting Zoo, pony rides and spacewalk. And don’t worry about getting hungry, either: There will be plenty to eat, including barbecue.

If you’re wondering what started all this, the brochure will tell you it began with a tricentennial celebration in 1986, sponsored by the Beech Island Historical Society. It was the first such celebration for the town, and has not since been matched in scope.

There was a parade down Sand Bar Ferry Road, a huge barbecue at Redcliffe Plantation State Park, speeches by dignitaries. It was such a success that the South Carolina Department of Parks, Recreation and Tourism wanted to do it every year.

The festival takes place Saturday, May 31, from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Granville Plantation is at 6198 Atomic Road in Beech Island, S.C.

2 0 0 3

Tours of Granville Plantation (top), children’s festivities, crafters, and period costumes abound at the 17th Annual Beech Island Heritage Day on May 31.

For directions and information, call (803) 867-3600, (803) 827-0184 or (803) 827-1376.

You may also e-mail psix@scescape.net or HeritageNatural@aol.com. You may also visit

www.beech-islandhistory.org.

Tours of Granville cost $2 for adults and $1 for kids 6-18, and there is $1 parking fee.

Admission to the festival itself, however, is free.

M E T R O S P I R I T M A Y

Cinema

“The Matrix: Reloaded”

Movie Listings

2 2 2 0 0 3

Anger Management (PG-13) — Af ter "assaulting" a stewardess on a flight, doofy Dave (Adam Sandler) is ordered by a cour t into anger therapy. That means bonding with Buddy (Jack Nicholson), anger management guru, and time with Buddy's pet circle of hair-trigger loons, including Luis Guzman as a gay par ty beast and John Tur turro as a rage-aholic called Chuck. Buddy and Dave get in each other's hair, play mean pranks on each other, trade frat-level penis jokes, run up to Boston, and return to New York, where both seem to have something going with Dave's girlfriend (Marisa Tomei). "Anger Management" is not bad enough to make you angry, because inevitably the cast cooks up some silly fun. Cast: Jack Nicholson, Adam Sandler, John Tur turro, Marisa Tomei, Luis Guzman, Woody Harrelson. Running time: 1 hr., 35 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Boat Trip (R) — The story, or lack thereof, is this: Pals Jerry (Cuba Gooding Jr.) and Nick (Horatio Sanz) decide to embark on a trip of some kind to perk up their sad love lives. Jerry got dumped by his fiancée (Vivica A. Fox). Nick, for his par t, hasn't been lucky in love at all. Af ter Nick runs into a friend who's spor ting a perky, blond new girlfriend, he decides a cruise aboard a love boat might be just the tonic for his and Jerry's ailing love lives. They are "accidentally" booked aboard a gay cruise. When the ship sets sail, they finally realize that they won't be finding love on the high seas. That is, until two happy accidents happen. But a guy named Lloyd (Roger Moore) has his eyes on Nick and at tempts to woo him. Gay stereotypes abound.

Cast: Cuba Gooding Jr., Horatio Sanz, Roselyn Sanchez, Vivica A. Fox and Roger Moore. Running time: 1 hr., 35 mins. (McCormick) ★ Bringing Down the House (PG-13) — Queen Latifah smoothly pockets "Bringing Down the House" as

Charlene, a good-hear ted fugitive from the law, turning to a starchy, divorced ta x at torney for refuge and suppor t. Steve Mar tin is the lawyer, Peter. The core idea of this very simple comedy is pure buzz of contrast: Latifah is abundantly, explosively black, while Mar tin may be the whitest man ever to star in movies. Latifah rides out the nonsense in her queenly, Pearl Bailey style. It's a cookie-cut comedy. The movie delivers its very manufactured goods, but it lacks the guts to be a meaningful comedy. Cast: Steve Mar tin, Queen Latifah, Eugene Levy, Joan Plowright, Jean Smar t, Bet ty White. Running time: 1 hr., 45 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Bruce Almighty (PG-13) — Bruce Nolan (Jim Carrey) is a Buf falo, N.Y., television repor ter who’s tired of being assigned to fluf fy, inconsequential events. Nolan’s lof ty goal is to win a promotion to news anchorman. But when he’s passed over in favor of an annoying co-worker, Nolan flips out on air, curses God, and loses his job. God, in turn, temporarlily bestows his powers upon Nolan, who uses and abuses them, pulling such stunts as enhancing his girlfriend’s cleavage, giving his dog the ability to use the john, and the par ting of the tomato soup. Cast: Jim Carrey, Jennifer Aniston, Morgan Freeman, Philip Baker Hall, Catherine Bell.

Confidence (R) — Jake Vig (Ed Burns) heads a crack team of scamsters who are also his buddies.

One is killed when a scam goes wrong, money having been taken from someone they did not know was an underling of a deadly, hyper sociopath called the King (Dustin Hof fman). Mostly we get cocky, trim-cut Burns and grif ter chums Brian Van Holt and Paul Giamat ti and corrupt L.A. cops (Luis Guzman, Donal Logue), all pulling a bank scam to pay back the King.

This ship leaks, and it sinks if you have experienced Mamet's "House of Games," Claude Chabrol's "The

Warner Bros. Pictures

“The In-Laws”

RATINGS

★★★★ — Excellent.

Warner Bros. Pictures

34

Swindle," Fabian Bielinsky's "Nine Queens" or Stephen Frears' "The Grif ters." Those scam par ties could have conned "Confidence" into a whimpering corner. Cast: Ed Burns, Dustin Hof fman, Rachel Weisz, Paul Giamat ti, Andy Garcia, Luis Guzman, Brian Van Holt.

Running time: 1 hr., 38 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Daddy Day Care (PG) — Looking very much like the engorged warm-up for a future TV sitcom, "Daddy Day Care" stars Eddie Murphy and Jef f Garlin as cereal company promo men who lose their jobs, then star t a home day-care facility. There is an absurdly snooty villain (Anjelica Huston), owner of a posh day-care school. The kids are central casting darlings. The movie, which has a stern warning against sugar-based cereals, is sugared cereal. Cast: Eddie Murphy, Anjelica Huston, Jef f Garlin, Steve Zahn, Regina King.

Running time: 1 hr., 35 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Down With Love (PG-13) — is a fizzy, but also grinding, comedy done as pious homage to the Ike/JFK-era stuf f starring Rock Hudson and Doris Day. It's a theme park of mar tinis and smokes, with nods to "Pillow Talk," Kennedy and Ed Sullivan, "bold" (for '62) sex talk, and a brash, but cupcakey heroine — the film seems intended for women who want a feminized (but only falsely feminist) Rat Pack picture. Renee Zellweger is Barbara, a per t lassie from Maine who storms New York with her book, "Down With Love," a ditzy manifesto for women to liberate themselves by opting for chocolates and "a la car te sex." But Barbara is really just angling for her dream wolf, the magazine hotshot and "man about town" Catcher Block (Ewan McGregor). What's so tiring about "Down With Love" is that it feels pointless. Cast: Renee Zellweger, Ewan McGregor, Sarah Paulson, David Hyde Pierce, Tony Randall. Running time: 1 hr., 36 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Final Destination 2 (R) — As in the first movie, a group of teen-agers manages to cheat death. But death, unsatisfied with the teens’ getaway, pursues in a myriad of disturbing ways. Kimberly, driving a group

★★★— Worthy.

★★ — Mixed.

★ — Poor.

of friends to Florida, has a premonition that helps them avoid being caught in a fatal freeway pileup. Death has other plans. Cast: Ali Lar ter, A.J. Cook, Michael Landes, T.C. Carson, Jonathan Cherry, James Kirk, Tony Todd.

Holes (PG) — Adapted by Louis Sachar from his highly successful novel, "Holes" has a thick shellac of literary fidelity – Sachar trying to tuck his book elements into one of the quirkiest movies Disney has ever released. "Holes" is mostly set in a juvenile detention camp in the deser t. Teen boys are made to dig big holes to find a legendary Old West crime treasure, coveted by the whip-voiced warden (Sigourney Weaver), her yokel henchman called Mr. Sir (Jon Voight) and their prissy assistant (Tim Blake Nelson).

The new boy on the digging detail is Stanley Yelnats.

Director Andrew Davis, so sure with the tensions of "Under Siege" and "The Fugitive," is amiably sweating this assignment. His tone veers of f on fishing expeditions, sly humor and pathos casting their baited lines nex t to teen terror and prat falling hokum. My kids liked it somewhat more than I did, which probably sums up the movie about as well as any thing should. Cast: Jon Voight, Sigourney Weaver, Shia LaBeouf, Khleo Thomas, Tim Blake Nelson, Henry Winkler, Ear tha Kit t. Running time: 1 hr., 51 mins. ★★1/2

How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days (PG-13) — should be retitled "How to Lose a Movie in 10 Minutes." The spirited opening credits are a clever visual and musical introduction to Andie Anderson (Kate Hudson) as she dashes and fumbles though research for "how-to" ar ticles published in a glitzy women's magazine. But all promise evaporates when the lame dialogue begins. Andie is destined to meet Mat thew McConaughey's womanizing adver tising executive, Ben Barry, whose major goal is snagging the world's biggest diamond account. These two upand-coming New York hot ties bump along through the contrived plot, which involves Andie's "how to lose a

0— Not worthy.

20th Century Fox

“X2”

35

are stupid. Lizzie is her look-alike, and gamely subs for her at appearances, even a concer t at the antique Colosseum. The city looks grand as ever, Lizzie smiles splendidly, Paolo gets a bum exit. His dreamboat sinks, but Rome, being old and wise, does not weep. Cast: Hilary Duf f, Adam Lamberg, Alex Borstein, Yani Gellman. Running time: 1 hr., 30 mins.

(Elliot t) ★★

M E T R O S P I R I T

Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (PG13) — Long, violent, death-fixated, dark in tone, heavy in heroic mood, this is a film for addicts of the series. Lit tle Frodo is marginalized as Viggo Mor tensen leads the defense of a castle from hordes of vicious scumballs, and the two grand beards (Ian McKellan, Christopher Lee) contend for Middle Ear th.

There's a lit tle schizo in a wispy loincloth, expressively per formed and voiced, but the almost Stone Age my thology rolls over us like layers of geology. 3 hrs.

(Elliot t) ★★ Malibu’s Most Wanted (PG-13) — Brad “Brad” Gluckman ain’t no Eminem. He’s Malibu’s worst rapper, a rich white boy who thinks he has the nuances of the hip-hop lifestyle down pat. Nothing could be fur ther from the truth, and when B-rad’s embarrassing antics creep into his father’s campaign for governor of California, the family decides that some tough love might be in order. Cast: Jamie Kennedy, Blair Underwood, Ryan O’Neal, Taye Diggs.

The Matrix: Reloaded (R) — Keanu Reeves is back as Neo, empowered hero. Also savior of the human race that was inside the cybernetic Matrix, enslaved as "cat tle" but has now fled to a life in an underground city. A blur of sci-fi and head comix clichés and "1984" gone 2003, the movie is overwhelmingly designed, but underwhelmingly imagined.

There is the Matrix and the Oracle and the Keymaker and the Architect. Humor is kept minimal, as that could pop the gas balloon. The packaging is cosmic, success inevitable. Success feeds success. "The Matrix Revolutions" is set for Nov. 7. Time for Harry Pot ter and Frodo Baggins to join forces and get mad.

Cast: Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss, Hugo Weaving, Jada Pinket t Smith. Running time: 2 hrs., 18 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ National Security (PG-13) — Mar tin Lawrence and Steve Zahn play L.A.P.D. rejects on both ends of the spectrum who get paired up as security guards.

While on par tol, they uncover a smuggling operation, in between bits of slapstick that are obligatory for films of this genre. Cast: Mar tin Lawrence, Steve Zahn, Eric Rober ts.

Old School (R) — Three buddies, men in their twenties, wish to recapture the good ol’ days: college, when raging keggers and hot girls were plentiful. They get their chance when one of them decides it’s a good idea to star t their own of f-campus frat house. Cast: Luke Wilson, Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn, Elisha Cuthber t.

Piglet’s Big Movie (G) — Piglet gets to be the center of at tention in the latest animated movie based on the Winnie-the-Pooh gang. When the rest of the gang begins a honey harvest and won’t let Piglet help because of his small size, Piglet disappears. To find him, the gang uses his scrapbook as a map, and, along the way, discovers that even a small pig can be a big hero. Cast: John Fiedler, Jim Cummings, Peter Cullen.

The Real Cancun (R) — The creators of MTV’s “The Real World” and “Road Rules” team up for the big-screen debut of reality programming. Gathering their cast from colleges all over the United States, the

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guy" assignment and Ben's bet with competing coworkers that he can make a woman fall in love with him — all in the same 10-day deadline. The teasers for "10 Days" tout: "One of them is lying. So is the other." Ah, yes, the per fect date movie. Cast: Kate Hudson, Mat thew McConaughey, Adam Goldberg, Bebe Neuwir th. Running time: 1 hr., 50 mins. (Wood) ★1/2 Identity (R) — Plot disposables converge at a Nevada motel in this "thriller," victims of bad luck, ripe for grotesque ends: Rebecca DeMornay as a snippy actress, John C. Ginley as a nerd husband, John Hawkes as a motel geek, Amanda Peet as a prostitute, Clea DuVall as a bride who keeps screaming, Jake Busey as a killer psycho, Ray Liot ta as a cop who may be a psycho, John Cusack as ex-cop and possible psycho, Bret t Loehr as a witnessing child who should, by the end, be psychotic. This soggy pulp has rain on the brain even worse than "Basic." Running time: 1 hr., 27 mins. (Elliot t) 0 The In-Laws (PG-13) — When the daughter of low-key podiatrist Jerry Peyser and the son of CIA operative Steve Tobias decide to get married, the fathers and their opposite personalities clash with each other right from the get-go. Meticulous Jerry has visions of unpredictable Steve ruining the kids’ perfectly-planned wedding. Meanwhile, Steve is on the go, embarking on dramatic missions and taking of f without warning. When their children find themselves in a dangerous position, the two men star t on a journey that takes them halfway around the globe to rescue the couple. Cast: Michael Douglas, Alber t Brooks, Ryan Reynolds.

The Italian Job (PG-13) — Skilled thief Charlie Croker pulls of f an amazingly large gold bullion heist in Venice, Italy. Af ter that, he discovers that one of his gang turns out to be a backstabber. A beautiful safecracker, Stella, joins up with the crew and they all follow the traitor to Los Angeles, where they plan to steal back the gold. It’s an update of the 1969 film of the same name. Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Charlize Theron, Edward Nor ton, Mos Def, Seth Green.

Kangaroo Jack (PG) — Two childhood friends, Charlie (Jerry O'Connell) and Louis (Anthony Anderson), from Brooklyn are forced to deliver a mysterious envelope to Australia af ter one of them accidentally causes the police to raid a mob warehouse.

En route to the land down under, Louis peeks in the package and discovers that it contains $50,000. Af ter the guys arrive in the Outback, they accidentally run over a kangaroo. Louis decides to take pictures of the animal and even puts shades and his lucky jacket on the 'roo, which is only stunned and hops away with the jacket containing the money. Now the guys are forced to chase the animal through the Outback, or they'll have to repay the mob with their lives. The real star of "Kangaroo Jack" is the beautiful Outback. That alone may be wor th the price of admission. Or not.

Cast: Jerry O'Connell, Anthony Anderson, Estella Warren, Christopher Walken, Dyan Cannon, Mar ton Csokas. Running time: 1 hr., 30 mins. (McCormick) ★ The Lizzie McGuire Movie (PG) — is something between taf fy, tapioca and a gold brick smoothly entering the Disney vault. It stars Hilary Duf f, 15, the lit tle Houston gal made a household name by the Disney Channel's "Lizzie McGuire" show. The movie takes Lizzie to Rome, where she soon splits of f from her school tour to be shown the city by dreamboat Paolo (Yani Gellman). He's half of a bubble-gum Europop duo, the female half being gone for reasons that

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continued from page 35 producers of “The Real Cancun” promise to take them on the ultimate spring break vacation in Cancun, Mexico, in exchange for observing just what kind of trouble the kids get themselves into.

What a Girl Wants (PG) — Amanda Bynes hugs and smooches the camera as Daphne Reynolds.

Daughter of New York sof t-rock singer Libby (Kelly Preston), she is also the daughter of the very rich and now political Lord Henry Dashwood (Colin Fir th), a British cutie and "future prime minister!" Henry is a bit guilty about split ting with Libby long before. His Moroccan Bedouin wedding with Libby evidently doesn't impede his coming marriage to the militantly upscaling Glynnis (Anna Chancellor). Her snob daughter (Christina Cole) is eager to hate Daphne with blistering superiority. Never intimidated, Daphne dashes to the Dashwood estate in London, where her spunky American adorableness can wreck wedding plans and a lof ty chandelier, yet also make a par ty "rock." Cast: Amanda Bynes, Colin Fir th, Kelly Preston, Jonathan Pryce, Eileen Atkins. Running time: 1 hr., 40 mins.

(Elliot t) ★★

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X2 (PG-13) — At the hub is the dutiful sequel section, laboring to ex tend the fantasy of a human world infiltrated by power ful, feared mutants, which the 2000 film transplanted from its comic-book roots.

Then there is the ef fects section, each mutant get ting a chance to show his/her powers. There is the senior section of power ful old men, the creepy wizard Magneto (Ian McKellen) maintaining a duel of Elite British Accents with the paranormal seer Xavier (Patrick Stewar t). And the "check 'em out" section for new or aspiring stars (Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Anna Paquin, Kelly Hu, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, Aaron Stanford). "X2" seems to have been made by and for people who constantly switch between "Star Trek" episodes and James Bond reruns, while hoping for some Hannibal Lecter. Cast: Patrick Stewar t, Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellen, Halle Berry, Brian Cox, Alan Cumming, Famke Janssen, Anna Paquin. Running time: 2 hrs., 5 mins. (Elliot t) ★1/2 —Capsules compiled from movie reviews written by David Elliott, film critic for The San Diego Union-Tribune and other staff writers.

Cinema: Close-Up

Study of Potential Prevention of Diabetes Are you age 50 or greater and at risk of developing diabetes?

Safe and Sweet “Bruce Almighty” Dishes Up Familiar Lesson

By Rachel Deahl

P

utting a familiar spin on the “be careful what you wish for” saying, Jim Carrey’s new comedy serves up a respectable helping of laughs with a side dish of feel-good schlock. “It’s a Wonderful Life” by way of “Oh God, You Devil,” “Bruce Almighty” Disneyfies its comedy just enough to make room for its pat Christian morality play: the best prayers are unselfish ones. Aside from the obnoxious fortune cookie musings and religious postulates, the whole affair plays a lot like Carrey’s last family-friendly hit, “Liar, Liar” — innocuous, if not memorable.

As a sweet but self-absorbed Buffalo newsman, Carrey’s Bruce is obsessed with the standstill he’s reached in his career. At 40, he is no longer satisfied doing the small, quirky stories he’s always dispatched to cover. Nonplussed to be reporting about Buffalo’s biggest cookie and other such events, Bruce is vying for the anchor job at his station. Of course not all things are meant to be and, when the job goes to his obnoxious co-worker, he loses it on live TV. Sent out to do a fluff piece on an annual event at Niagara Falls, Bruce becomes unraveled on-air and ends up getting fired. What’s a spurned newsman to do? Curse God, of course.

Enraged at the fact he lost his promotion and his job, Bruce winds up driving his car out into the rainy night and crashing it. Unharmed, he gets out of the vehicle and declares, among other things, that he could do the Almighty’s job better than him. And how does God get in touch with you when he wants you?

Apparently via pager. After being paged

several times and compelled by a personally tailored voicemail message, Bruce shows up at an empty warehouse in downtown Buffalo, with directions go to the seventh floor. Once inside, Morgan Freeman is waiting for him and, after some magic tricks and banter, an offer is made. If Bruce thinks he can do God’s job better than God, it’s his.

Blessed with the powers of the omnipotent, Bruce leaves to toy with his newfound skills. Testing his abilities in a local diner, this hokey Joe decides to pull his own miracle by parting the sea that is his tomato soup. (Har har.) Bruce is now ready to do focus on what’s important: himself. From the small victories (like enlarging his girlfriend’s breasts) to the big (finally winning the anchor spot at the news station), chaos ensues when Bruce forgets that God has the irksome task of paying attention to all the other people asking for his help.

Reminding us of an old cliché and a Garth Brooks song, “Bruce Almighty” proffers that we never know what we have until it’s gone and, sometimes, we should thank God for unanswered prayers. Sending Buffalo into an all-out riot by simply saying yes to the millions of prayers that come to him (thousands become enraged after winning miniscule prize money in the lottery), Bruce quickly realizes that life as a dopey color man with a great girlfriend (Jennifer Aniston) is far superior to being God and getting on the anchor desk. Who knew? I guess, in the end, we should all look to the Heavens (or is it the box office?) to thank Hollywood for reminding us of what’s truly important.

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MOVIE CLOCK REGAL AUGUSTA EXCHANGE 20 Movies Good 5/23 - 5/29 The Italian Job (PG-13) Sat: 7:30 The In-Laws (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 11:55, 2:20, 4:55, 7:25, 9:40, 12:10; Mon-Thur: 11:55, 2:20, 4:55, 7:25, 9:40 Bruce Almighty (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 10:20, 11:30, 12:15, 12:45, 2:10, 2:45, 3:20, 4:35, 5:10, 5:45, 7:05, 7:35, 8:10, 9:35, 10:05, 10:35, 12:05, 12:35; Mon: 10:20, 11:30, 12:15, 12:45, 2:10, 2:45, 3:20, 4:35, 5:10, 5:45, 7:05, 7:35, 8:10, 9:35, 10:05, 10:35; Tues-Thur: 12:15, 12:45, 2:10, 2:45, 3:20, 4:35, 5:10, 5:45, 7:05, 7:35, 8:10, 9:35, 10:05, 10:35 The Matrix: Reloaded (R) Fri-Sat: 10:00, 10:15, 10:30, 12:15, 12:30, 12:45, 1:00, 1:15, 1:30, 3:15, 3:30, 3:45, 4:00, 4:15, 4:30, 6:15, 6:30, 6:45, 7:00, 7:15, 7:30, 9:15, 9:30, 9:45, 10:00, 10:15, 10:30, 12:15, 12:30, 12:45, 1:00; Sun: 10:00, 10:15, 10:30, 12:15, 12:30, 12:45, 1:00, 1:15, 1:30, 3:15, 3:30, 3:45, 4:00, 4:15, 4:30, 6:15, 6:30, 6:45, 7:00, 7:15, 7:30, 9:15, 9:30, 9:45, 10:00, 10:15, 10:30, 12:15, 12:30; Mon: 10:00, 10:15, 10:30, 12:15, 12:30, 12:45, 1:00, 1:15, 1:30, 3:15, 3:30, 3:45, 4:00, 4:15, 4:30, 6:15, 6:30, 6:45, 7:00, 7:15, 7:30, 9:15, 9:30, 9:45, 10:00, 10:15, 10:30; Tues-Thur: 12:15, 12:30, 12:45, 1:00, 1:15, 1:30, 3:15, 3:30, 3:45, 4:00, 4:15, 4:30, 6:15, 6:30, 6:45, 7:00, 7:15, 7:30, 9:15, 9:30, 9:45, 10:00, 10:15, 10:30 Down With Love (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 11:10, 2:05, 4:20, 7:50, 10:10, 12:35; Mon: 11:10, 2:05, 4:20, 7:50, 10:10; Tues-Thur: 11:50, 2:05, 4:20, 7:50, 10:10 Daddy Day Care (PG) Fri-Sun: 12:05, 12:50, 2:30, 3:10, 4:50, 5:25, 7:10, 8:10, 9:30, 10:30, 11:50; Mon-Thur: 12:05, 12:50, 2:30, 3:10, 4:50, 5:25, 7:10, 8:10, 9:30, 10:30 X2 (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 11:00, 12:50, 2:00, 3:50, 5:00, 6:50, 8:00, 9:50, 11:00, 12:50; Sun-Mon: 11:00, 12:50, 2:00, 3:50, 5:00, 6:50, 8:00, 9:50, 11:00; Tues-Thur: 12:50, 2:00, 3:50, 5:00, 6:50, 8:00, 9:50, 11:00 The Lizzie McGuire Movie (PG) Fri-Mon: 10:10, 12:30, 3:00, 5:15, 7:35, 10:20; Tues-Thur: 12:30, 3:00, 5:15, 7:35, 10:20 Identity (R) Fri-Sat: 12:10, 2:45, 5:00, 8:00, 10:20, 12:40; Sun-Thur: 12:10, 2:45, 5:00, 8:00, 10:20 Malibu’s Most Wanted (PG-13) Fri: 10:40, 12:40, 2:45, 4:45, 7:30, 9:35, 11:40; Sat: 10:40, 12:40, 2:45, 4:45, 11:40; Sun: 10:40, 12:40, 2:45, 4:45, 7:30, 9:35, 11:40; Mon: 10:40, 12:40, 2:45, 4:45, 7:30, 9:35; Tues-Thur: 12:40, 2:45, 4:45, 7:30, 9:35 Holes (PG) Fri-Sun: 10:05, 1:05, 4:10, 7:10, 9:50, 12:35; Mon: 10:05, 1:05, 4:10, 7:10, 9:50; TuesThur: 1:05, 4:10, 7:10, 9:50 Anger Management (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 12:20, 2:50,

5:25, 7:55, 10:25, 12:55; Mon-Thur: 12:20, 2:50, 5:25, 7:55, 10:25 EVANS 12 CINEMAS Movies Good 5/23 - 5/29 The In-Laws (PG-13) 2:00, 4:40, 7:15, 9:25 Bruce Almighty (PG-13) 12:30, 1:20, 2:40, 3:40, 4:50, 5:50, 7:00, 8:00, 9:15, 10:10 Down With Love (PG-13) 2:20, 5:00, 7:20, 9:45 The Matrix: Reloaded (R) Fri-Sat: 12:30, 1:30, 2:30, 3:30, 4:30, 5:30, 6:30, 7:30, 8:30, 9:30, 10:20; Sun-Thur: 12:30, 1:30, 2:30, 3:30, 4:30, 5:30, 6:30, 7:30, 8:30, 9:30 Daddy Day Care (PG) 12:55, 3:10, 5:20, 7:45, 9:50 The Lizzie McGuire Movie (PG) 1:25, 3:25, 5:25, 7:25, 9:25 X2 (PG-13) 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 9:55 Identity (R) 1:50, 4:20 Holes (PG) 1:10, 4:10, 7:10, 9:40 Anger Management (PG-13) 7:05, 9:20 MASTERS 7 CINEMAS Movies Good 5/23 - 5/29 The In-Laws (PG-13) 1:30, 4:30, 7:30, 9:40 Bruce Almighty (PG-13) 12:30, 2:40, 4:50, 7:15, 9:25 Matrix: Reloaded (R) 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 9:55 Daddy Daycare (PG) 1:45, 4:25, 7:25, 9:30 The Lizzie McGuire Movie (PG) 1:05, 3:05, 5:05, 7:05, 9:05 X2 (PG-13) 1:15, 4:15, 7:10, 9:50 Anger Management (PG-13) 2:00, 4:20, 7:20, 9:35 REGAL 12 CINEMAS Movies Good 5/23 - 5/29 How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days (PG-13) 1:35, 4:40, 7:05, 9:45 The Real Cancun (R) 12:45, 2:50, 4:50, 7:25, 9:35 Boat Trip (R) 12:55, 2:55, 4:55, 7:10, 9:25 What a Girl Wants (PG) 1:15, 3:25, 5:30, 7:40, 9:50 Bringing Down the House (PG-13) 12:55, 3:05, 5:15, 7:35, 9:55 Old School (R) 1:05, 3:15, 5:20, 7:15, 9:30 A Man Apart (R) 1:25, 4:35, 7:00, 9:20 Piglet’s Big Movie (G) 1:30, 3:15, 5:00, 7:00, 9:10 National Security (PG-13) 12:50, 3:00, 5:05, 7:20, 9:30 Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (PG-13) 1:00, 4:30, 7:50 Kangaroo Jack (PG) 1:20, 3:20, 5:25, 7:45, 9:45 Final Destination 2 (R) 1:10, 3:10, 5:10, 7:30, 9:40

Movie listings are subject to change without notice.

Cinema: Review

Retro-Infused “Down With Love” Feels Pointless

By David Elliott

W

hat will it take to end the “retro” virus running rampant in current pop culture?

Maybe if Salma Hayek does “The Kate Smith Story,” or Matt Damon and Ben Affleck sign on to do Martin & Lewis.

Retro goes dodo in much of “Down With Love,” a fizzy, but also grinding comedy done as pious homage to the Ike/JFK-era stuff starring Rock Hudson and Doris Day. It’s a theme park of martinis and smokes, with nods to “Pillow Talk,” Kennedy and Ed Sullivan, “bold” (for ‘62) sex talk, and a brash, but cupcakey heroine – the film seems intended for women who want a feminized (but only falsely feminist) Rat Pack picture.

Renee Zellweger is Barbara, a pert lassie from Maine who storms New York with her book, “Down With Love,” a ditzy manifesto for women to liberate themselves by opting for chocolates and “a` la carte sex.” Men, both the Sinatra wolves and the nerdy sheep, are flummoxed, but Barbara is really just angling for her dream wolf, the magazine hotshot and “man about town” Catcher Block.

With his breezy Brit accent and smile gleaming like his oiled hair, Ewan McGregor’s Catch is a kind of boyish Bond, or Peter Lawford’s cutest dream of being Sinatra. Or he could be Tony Randall taking over the Rock Hudson and Cary Grant roles, except that Catch has his own Randall twit (David Hyde Pierce), while the real Randall, now 83, appears as Barbara’s publisher.

Director Peyton Reed has total commitment, as he did for the fevered cheerleaders of “Bring It On.” His retro is so ripe that he borrows sight gags from the Austin Powers retro parties, and you can almost hear him squealing with delight as the plastic pieces snap into place and smirky lines emerge like cartoon balloons.

But though he has a feel for the “contempo” décor and flat Manhattan backdrops, Reed lacks the fertile, musicalized structure that made style romps like “Funny Face” and “Expresso Bongo” captivating. There’s a mothball aroma here, as in “That Thing You Do!” “View From the Top” and “Far From Heaven.”

At moments, the rhythm zippers and fun ignites. Barbara’s big explanation speech to Catch is about three times as long as the Gettysburg Address and far funnier. Preparing for their big date, they dress-up in parallel, she to Astrud Gilberto’s smoochy “Come Fly With Me” and he to Sinatra’s classic swinger version – the actors, with fem or macho grace, sync with the song.

The hipster groove might have been niftier if they’d used Blossom Dearie’s compact rendition of “Down With Love.”

The Judy Garland take, seen on a TV clip, rams through the chiffon plot. And though McGregor is svelte, he keeps taking off his shirt as if he were Paul Newman in 1962’s “Sweet Bird of Youth,” and he isn’t.

Zellweger caught fire from the show-biz oomph of the retro “Chicago,” and was sexier than ever. Now, she is stuck like a pink posey. Barbara seems to be a kewpie Monroe who wants to be Helen Gurley Brown – make that Girly – and the best you can say for Zellweger is that she’s a real trouper and a fine clothes rack.

What’s so tiring about “Down With Love,” beyond the excess of giddy contrivance, is that it feels pointless. It looks backward into a pit of goo (the Day-Hudson films had some edge, for their time).

People who sat through the old comedies might prefer to see them again (or remember how glad they were when those films faded out). Viewers who never knew them must find the nostalgia quaint and vacant – they’re right.

39 M E T R O S P I R I T M A Y 2 2 2 0 0 3

40 M E T R O S P I R I T M A Y 2 2 2 0 0 3

Music On the Bricks Concert Series Returns

H

ot summer Friday nights can only mean one thing – Atlanta’s On the Bricks concert series in Centennial Olympic Park. The fun starts for the third year in a row May 30 and continues through Aug. 22.

New this year is a $3 per show ticket charge, or you can buy tickets in quantities of 12 for $25. The tickets are good for any show in the series. Kids under 5 are the only ones who still get a free ride.

Tickets are available in advance, by phone at 1-800-594-TIXX or online at www.onthebricks.com. They’re also

available at the gate.

Gates open at 5:30 p.m., and the music goes from 6-11 p.m., rain or shine.

You’re allowed to bring blankets, lawn chairs, disposable cameras, an umbrella and one unopened bottle of water; leave the pets, bags and backpacks, coolers, picnic items, recording devices, rollerblades, bikes, professional camera devices and alcohol at home.

Please note that the lineup is subject to change, and the acts for some dates have yet to be announced.

Lisa Jordan

Everclear

Shaggy

On the Bricks 2003 Schedule May 30: Shaggy, Arrested Development, Jason Mraz, Jennifer Arrested Development

Love Hewitt June 6: Third Day, Sky Dog, Pete Schmidt June 13: Blues Traveler, Will Hoge, Drive-By Truckers, Shurman, New Blood Revival June 20: To be announced June 27: To be announced July 4: No show July 11: Better Than Ezra, Lifehouse, Ingram Hill, The Robert Barnes Band July 18: Robert Bradley’s Blackwater Surprise, Mieka Pauley July 25: Everclear, Maroon 5, Kill Hannah August 1: Nickel Creek, Franky Perez, Antigone Rising August 8: Hootie and The Blowfish, Tonic, The Clarks, Bain Mattox August 15: George Clinton and Parliament/Funkadelic, North Mississippi Allstars, Kevn Kinney Band August 22: Royal 7

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Music: Band

Moniker Updates the Art of Jazz

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his ain’t your grandfather’s jazz.

Bringing the improvisational art form into the 21st century with electronic beats and contemporary music sensibilities is Augusta outfit Moniker.

Friday night at The Bee’s Knees is quickly becoming synonymous with Moniker. The trio holds Jazz Sessions With Moniker there nearly every week.

Eric Kinlaw does double duty those nights, functioning as both The Bee’s Knees owner and as a member of Moniker. Last First Friday, Kinlaw spoke for a few minutes with The Metropolitan Spirit about Moniker’s eclectic brand of music before the group set up for a special First Friday on-the-street set.

“It’s kinda jazz – I guess you could call it jazz,” he said. “We do a lot of drum and bass, electronic with a heavy jazz influence.”

The jazz influence, he said, comes from the band’s reliance on that age-old art – the art of improvisation.

“Everything is 100 percent improvised.

We’ve never rehearsed outside of playing here,” said Kinlaw. “We just kind of play off the melody. You keep the form … (and) kind of twist the form around. …

A lot of the stuff we do is very abstract, just a variety of forms.”

Just like the jazz greats of days gone by, Moniker isn’t always sure just where the music will end up. Starting in familiar territory and constantly coming up with variations on a theme proves to be a welcome trial.

“It’s more challenging for a musician to totally improvise,” explained Kinlaw.

“We hardly ever repeat ourselves.”

Appearances by guest musicians and the occasional addition of instruments like keyboards and drum machines to the guitar, bass and drums backbone of the group help ensure that Moniker’s sound remains fresh. The group has even been known, Kinlaw said, to sample other works.

That audiences will see something unique each and every time Moniker takes the stage is no doubt one of the reasons Jazz Sessions With Moniker is picking up steam amongst Augusta crowds. Kinlaw said that, on the rare Friday nights Moniker isn’t playing at The Bee’s Knees, customers come in asking for them.

“People love it,” he said. “It’s refreshing. It’s always something different.”

Another thing that Kinlaw has noticed is how the cozy atmosphere of The Bee’s Knees helps listeners connect with Moniker’s music.

“It’s a very intimate setting,” he said.

“It’s the perfect volume. It’s comfortable.

I’m very particular about the sound level in here.”

Kinlaw has been adding more and more music to The Bee’s Knees expanding schedule, which now holds everything from bluegrass to the music of singer/songwriters and rock- and hiphop-flavored tunes.

“The music we play (at The Bee’s Knees) is just anything,” he said.

To see Moniker in action, head to The Bee’s Knees, located on 10th Street between Broad and Ellis Streets, just about any Friday. Moniker performances are definitely on the bill for Friday, May 23 and Friday, May 30.

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M E T R O S P I R I T M A Y 2 2 2 0 0 3

MUSIC MINIS

May Day for Barry White On May 1, singer Barry White suffered a stroke. Statements from his daughter, Shaheara White, didn’t make it clear whether that happened while he was undergoing surgery to replace the catheter in his arm, but she did say it happened the same day. He had been on dialysis since the fall because his kidneys had started to fail. White has a history of high blood pressure. Shaheara White said that the stroke affected his speech and the right side of his body.

Savannah Rapper Camoflauge Murdered Rap artist Camoflauge died Monday at a Savannah hospital from wounds sustained when he was shot earlier that day outside of Pure Rain Records. Camoflauge was walking with his toddler son at the time, who was not hurt. As of press time, police have made no arrests and have not named a suspect in the slaying.

STP’s Scott Weiland Can’t Stay Out of Trouble All right, already. Isn’t the “bad boy of rock ‘n’ roll” image a bit passé these days? Well, someone needs to tell former Stone Temple Pilots lead Scott Weiland he’s a bit behind the times. The weekend of May 17, he was arrested – not for the first or second time, but for the fifth – for possession of cocaine and heroine.

How were they caught, you might ask? Driving without headlights. (“They” being Weiland and 29-year-old Lynn Sires.) Why was their car searched? Syringe in the car. He’s been having problems since the mid-1990s, and it has affected his work, as STP has been forced to take breaks because of Weiland’s being jailed in the past for violating probation – by ODing on heroin – and failing to complete drug rehab.

Wonder what this does to his prospects of joining up with former G ‘n’ R members to form a band called Reloaded? Wonder if there’s a “Matrix” angle there?

BY TURNER

M

BOB DYLAN

Bob Dylan Gets a Scorsese Documentary Director Martin Scorsese has a film in the oven titled “Bob Dylan Anthology Project.” It is to be a biography and is planned for release in 2005. It will be a limited release in the movie houses, but will also be broadcast on PBS and the BBC. There will be live performances, recording sessions and (gasp!) an interview with the performer himself.

Snoop Dogg Shoots “Starsky & Hutch” No, he’s not gunning down the ‘70s-era crime-fighting duo: He’s making a movie of “Starsky & Hutch,” a classic television show about a pair of undercover detectives whose first names I’ve long forgotten, but whose actors are David Soul (Hutch) and Paul Michael Glaser (Starsky). He will be playing Huggy Bear. Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson will play the cops. Dogg will also be doing a remake of “Airplane!” to be titled “Soul Plane.”

He Feels Good Consider it a clean slate for James Brown, at least in the state of South Carolina. On Tuesday, the state Department of Probation, Parole and Pardon services issued a full pardon for Brown’s past crimes in South Carolina. Brown had previously been convicted on charges of assault, failure to stop for a law enforcement officer, carrying a pistol, drug possession and resisting arrest stemming from a 1988 incident.

COMPILED BY RHONDA JONES & LISA JORDAN Information compiled from online and other music news sources.

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aybe they should be called the Stone Temple Roses. Or what about Guns ‘N’ Pilots?

Of course, neither of those names were even considered for another new supergroup. Consisting of STP’S vocalist SCOTT WEILAND, along with SLASH, DUFF MCKAGAN and MATT SORUM from GUNS ‘N’ ROSES, the band has been busy in the studio finishing several projects.

Several Web sites have reported that the four powerhouse players have united and have already cut two tracks. “Set Me Free,” an original, will be featured in the upcoming film “The Hulk,” while the second, a cover of Pink Floyd’s “Money,” appears in the new flick “The Italian Job.” Two names are being considered for the band — one with just the foursome’s last names (yuck) and The Reloaded (yay). Stay tuned.

176 Keys in Atlanta Dept.

No, it’s not JOHN and JOEL either. TORI AMOS and BEN FOLDS are teaming up for a short U.S. tour this summer. Ms. Amos’ last album, “Scarlet’s Walk,” garnered strong notices upon its release last year, while Folds’ most recent offering is a fun, hook-laden in-concert effort, “Ben Folds Live.” The two will be strange bookends, as Amos’ work is serious and introspective whereas Folds’ approach to his music is often loose and rather informal. Both performers will offer separate sets. The two visit Atlanta’s Chastain Park Sept. 1.

It is difficult to believe that alternative rockers LIVE have been at it for 15 years.

TORI AMOS

Their 1991 major label debut, “Mental Jewelry,” established the band as one of the best hopes of the ‘90s. Their new album, “Birds of Prey,” in stores this week, is the band’s sixth. The first single, “Heaven,” was written by leader ED KOWALCZYK about his new daughter and is receiving strong airplay. The first copies of the album will contain a bonus DVD as well.

Other new releases in stores this week include CRACKER and LEFTOVER SALMON’S “Oh Cracker, Where Art Thou?” MARTY FRIEDMAN’S (ex-MEGADETH) “Music for Speeding,” SAMMY HAGAR’S “Hallelujah,” JESSE HARRIS’ “The Secret Sun,” KEITH JARRETT AND FRIENDS’ “Up for It,” KINGS X’S “Black Like Sunday,” LYNYRD SKYNYRD’S “Vicious Cycle,” BRET MICHAEL’S (POISON) “Songs of Life,” ROBERT PALMER’S “Drive,” PHISH’S “Live, Volumes 17-20,” JOHN SCOFIELD BAND’S “Up All Night,” LONNIE SMITH’S “Boogaloo to Beck,” STAIND’S “14 Shades of Grey” and THE SWIMMING POOL Q’S “Royal Academy.”

Turner’s Quick Notes English rockers BLUR issued their seventh disc, “Think Tank,” earlier this month ...

Bassist extrordiniare STANLEY CLARKE might be old “School Days,” but funk and jazz knows no calendar. Clarke visits Atlanta’s Wolf Creek Park July 19 ...

Relative newcomer JACK JOHNSON’S sophomore release, “On and On,” sold a highly impressive 130,000 copies last week in reaching the top five on the album charts ...

NEIL YOUNG AND CRAZY HORSE hits Atlanta’s Chastain Park June 11 ... TRAIN’S “My Private Nation” drops from Jupiter (and Earth) June 3.

TURNER’S ROCK AND ROLL JEOPARDY A. This great soul singer was murdered by his father in 1984.

Q. Who was Marvin Gaye?

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43

Night Life

M E T R O S P I R I T

Saturday, 24th

The ALien-ators make their Augusta debut Saturday, May 24, at Club Continuum.

Thursday, 22nd

Friday, 23rd

The Bee’s Knees - Jazz Piano with James McIntyre The Big Easy - Buzz Clif ford, George Sykes Coliseum - Karaoke, High-Energy Dance Continuum - Playa*Listic Thursday Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Fox’s Lair - Karaoke Greene Streets - Men’s Pop, Rock, Blues and Soul National Karaoke Contest Joe’s Underground - Michael Baideme Last Call - Jenny Clark Scholarship Fund PostBenefit Late Night Jam Session Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Modjeska - SKYNN with DJ Richie Rich Orange Moon - Open Mic Playground - Open Mic Night Soul Bar - Bio Ritmo Salsa Band Stool Pigeons - Jayson and Michael Surrey Tavern - Red-Headed Stepchild Time Piecez - DJ Dance Par ty

Back Roads - DJ The Bee’s Knees - Jazz Sessions with Moniker The Big Easy - Air Apparent Borders - Live Enter tainment Cafe Du Teau - James McIntyre Coliseum - Destiny as Diana Ross Continuum - Old Skool Night Cotton Patch - Black-Eyed Susan Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads - Tur tleneck, The Six th Hour, Shaman Mary Cue ‘N’ Brew - DJ MJ D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Durango’s - Magic Hat Fox’s Lair - Karaoke Greene Streets - Karaoke Hangnail Gallery - Galloway, Hellblinki Sex tet, Distor ted Sound Sadists Highlander - Soundmen Joe’s Underground - John

Back Roads - DJ The Bee’s Knees - Tara Scheyer The Big Easy - Buzz Clif ford, George Sykes Borders - Eryn Eubanks Cafe Du Teau - James McIntyre Club Argos - Memorial Day Beach Par ty Coliseum - Juliana McVeigh Continuum - The ALien-ators Cotton Patch - John Kolbeck Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads - Wastegate D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Durango’s - Magic Hat Fox’s Lair - Thom Carlton Greene Streets - Karaoke Hangnail Gallery - The Independents, The Decrepits, The Inmates Joe’s Underground - People Who Must Last Call - Tony Howard, DJ Richie Rich The Lighthouse - Men of Distinction Metro Coffeehouse - Live Af ternoon Bluegrass Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Modjeska - Bangin! Latin Musical Explosion Partridge Inn - Sandy B. and the All-Stars Rio Bomba - DJ Rodriguez Brothers Shannon’s - Bamboo Soul Bar - Soul*Bar*Sound*Lab Squeak y’s Tip Top - The Joshua Tapestry Surrey Tavern - Soul Dimension Whiskey Road Oyster Factory - Wayne Capps

Sunday, 25th Borders - Angela Hunsucker Cafe Du Teau - The Last Bohemian Quar tet Cotton Patch - A Step Up Orange Moon - Live Reggae Pizza Joint - Patrick Blanchard The Shack - Karaoke, Sasha’s Talent Show Shannon’s - Shelley Watkins Somewhere in Augusta - Jayson and Michael Whiskey Junction - Wayne Capps

Monday, 26th Coliseum - Q.A.F. Continuum - Monday Madness Crossroads - Club Sin Dance Par ty with DJ Chris Greene Streets - Karaoke Surrey Tavern - The John Kolbeck Experience

Tuesday, 27th Adams Nightclub - Karaoke with Bill Tolber t The Bee’s Knees - 12 Tone Lounge Coliseum - Tournament Tuesday D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Greene Streets - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Keith “Fossill” Gregory Metro Coffeehouse - Irish Night with Sibin Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Pizza Joint - John Kolbeck Stool Pigeons - Karaoke with Linda Eubanks Surrey Tavern - Tuesday Night Jam Session

Wednesday, 28th The Bee’s Knees - Mellow Sounds Supperclub Coliseum - Wet ‘n’ Wild Talent Search Continuum - Open Mic Jam Sessions Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Greene Streets - Women’s Pop, Rock, Blues and Soul National Karaoke Contest Joe’s Underground - Keith “Fossill” Gregory

continued on page 44

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Last Call - Tony Howard, DJ Richie Rich The Lighthouse - The O’Kaysions Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Modjeska - DJ Kenny Ray Partridge Inn - Jazz Solstice with Anthony Carpenter Playground - Kim Richardson, Alan Smith Rio Bomba - DJ Rodriguez Brothers, Karaoke with Russ Schneider Shannon’s - Bar t Bell, Steve Chappell Soul Bar - (R)evolution with DJ JR Surrey Tavern - Soul Dimension Tops Lounge - Siclid, Embryo Whiskey Road Oyster Factory - Bogie

M A Y 2 2 2 0 0 3

44 continued from page 43 M E T R O S P I R I T M A Y 2 2 2 0 0 3

Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Modjeska - Theology On Tap Playground - Karaoke with Mike and Scot t The Shack - Karaoke Shannon’s - Bar t Bell, Steve Chappell Somewhere in Augusta - Pat Blanchard Soul Bar - Live Jazz Surrey Tavern - John Kolbeck

Upcoming Zoso - Crossroads - June 6 Die Trying - Crossroads - June 7 Swingin’ Medallions - Last Call - June 11 Mr. Club Argos - Club Argos - June 20 Ashanti, Mr. Cheeks - For t Gordon - June 27 Caitlin Carey - Crossroads - June 28 Stewart and Winfield - Last Call - July 3 John Michael Montgomery - Lake Olmstead Stadium - July 4 Finger 11, Echo 7 - Crossroads - July 9

Elsewhere Nineteen Forty-Five - Swayze’s, Mariet ta, Ga. May 22 Camarosmith - Echo Lounge, Atlanta - May 22 Supersuckers - Echo Lounge, Atlanta - May 24 Musiq - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta - May 24 Mel Tillis, Pam Tillis - Georgia Mountain Fair, Hiawassee, Ga. - May 24 Kenny Loggins - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - May 25 Earth, Wind & Fire - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - May 25 Tomahawk, Melvins - Masquerade, Atlanta May 28 Jerry Jeff Walker - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta May 28 Pretty Girls Make Graves - Masquerade, Atlanta - May 29 The Wailers - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta - May 29

Shaggy, Arrested Development, Jason Mraz, Jennifer Love Hewitt - Centennial Olympic Park, Atlanta - May 30 Clay Cook - Eddie’s At tic, Decatur, Ga. - May 30 Acoustic Syndicate - Cotton Club, Atlanta - May 30 Sugarland - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta - May 31 Reckless Kelly - Smith’s Olde Bar, Atanta - May 31 James Taylor - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - June 2-3 Fleetwood Mac - Philips Arena, Atlanta - June 3 Ash - Echo Lounge, Atlanta - June 3 Garage A Trois - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta June 5 David Lee Roth - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - June 6 Film, Jet - Echo Lounge, Atlanta - June 6 Dustin Diamond - Funny Farm, Atlanta June 6-7 Charlie Daniels, Chris Cagle - Georgia Mountain Fair, Hiawassee, Ga. - June 7 Dan Fogelberg - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - June 8 Red Hot Chili Peppers, Snoop Dogg - HiFi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - June 8 Branford Marsalis - Botanical Garden, Atlanta June 11 Santana - HiFi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta June 11 Neil Young and Crazy Horse, Lucinda Williams - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - June 11 Ambrosia - Wills Equestrian Park, Atlanta - June 12 Mary Prankster - The Earl, Atlanta - June 14 Olivia New ton-John - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - June 15 !!!, Outhud - Echo Lounge, Atlanta - June 15 Scott Miller - Smith’s Olde Bar, Atlanta - June 15 Peter Gabriel - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - June 16 AthFest - Various Venues, Athens, Ga. - June 19-22 Alabama - Philips Arena, Atlanta - June 20

Miss SPYT? Youth@Risk? Jump on the ol’ nostalgia train when members of those groups make their debut as The Sixth Hour at Crossroads Friday at Crossroads.

Delbert McClinton - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta June 21 Johnny Mathis - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - June 21 Heart - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta June 22 Aretha Franklin - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - June 24 Boston - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta June 29 Sugar Ray, Matchbox Twenty - Philips Arena, Atlanta - June 29 Camel - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta - July 1 Brenda Lee, Nitty Gritty Dirt Band - Georgia

Mountain Fair, Hiawassee, Ga. - July 5 The Fall - Echo Lounge, Atlanta - July 12 Many tickets are available through TicketMaster outlets, by calling 828-7700, or online at w w w.ticketmaster.com. Tickets may also be available through Tix Online by calling 278-4TIX or online at w w w.tixonline.com. Night Life listings are subject to change without notice.

Deadline for inclusion in Night Life calendar is Tuesday at 4 p.m. Contact Rhonda Jones or Lisa Jordan by calling 738-1142, fa xing 736-0443 or e-mailing to rhonda_jones@metspirit.com or lisa_jordan@metspirit.com.

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News of the

Weird I

n April, students at the all-women’s Smith College (Northampton, Mass.) voted to replace all of the female pronouns in the student constitution with gender-neutral pronouns.

Although males are not admitted to Smith, many students apparently believe that using “she” and “her” is inappropriate for students who were admitted as females but who later identify themselves as “transgendered.” According to Dean Maureen Mahoney, a student admitted as a female but who later comes out as a male would still be welcomed at Smith.

• Dr. Yogendra Shah of Granite City, Ill., was accused by a state regulatory board of performing an abortion on a woman who was not pregnant. In a complaint filed in March and reported by the St. Louis PostDispatch in May, a woman said she thought she was pregnant, but wasn’t (based on an absence of fetal tissue), and Dr. Shah failed to test for pregnancy before performing the procedure. (A newspaper database search revealed that anti-abortion advocates have been slow to take a position on this story.)

Police Blotter • Criminals thinking small: An alleged February multi-crime spree by Victor M. Cardoze, 23, all started when he prepaid $3 for gas at Joe’s Pond Country Store, then pumped $3.50 worth and pointed a gun at the manager before driving off (West Danville, Vt., February). Robert Boyer, 45, was charged with robbery after asking if he could buy lettuce by the leaf rather than the head, being told no, and walking out with lettuce leaves anyway, in front of a police officer (Little Rock, Ark., December). William W. Bresler Jr., 56, was taken for psychiatric evaluation after he tried to rob a National City Bank of exactly one cent (Westerville, Ohio, March).

• Giving up on their own terms: Stephen Ray Carson, 29, in a standoff with police, said he wasn’t giving up until he finished the crack cocaine he had just bought with the proceeds of a robbery. (Police got him anyway.) (Panama City, Fla., January.)

Motorist Christina L. Willis, 36, who was finally caught by police following a 30minute chase after she hit an officer with her car, still refused to get out until she had finished her beer (Fairfield, Ohio, January). Motorist Troy C. Stephani, 32, trying to elude a police chase so that, he later said, he could finish his crack cocaine, took a wrong turn and accidentally drove into the police station parking lot (Medford, N.Y., April).

From Police Blotters • (1) (Washington Post, April 11) “Mount Olivet Road NE, 1200 block, March 30. An animal control officer responding to a call about a snake in a

45

bathroom reported that the snake was actually a hair band.” (2) (Vancouver (Wash.) Columbian, Jan. 7) “A Vancouver police officer was sent to a home in the 3100 block of S Street ... when a woman called 911 to say a group of 30 cannibals from Yacolt were trying to break into her house. (O)fficers were unable to locate any cannibals.” (3) (Grass Valley (Calif.)

Union, March 30) “A Dorsey Drive convalescent facility reported that one Alzheimer’s patient struck another Alzheimer’s patient, but neither of them remembered the incident or wanted medical attention.”

Chutzpah!

• Some patrons of the Minneapolis Public Library have so freely taken advantage of the lack of restrictions on Internet usage that they have for years been openly viewing pornography and also subjecting female employees to sexual comments, and in some cases have masturbated at the library’s computer stations. (These allegations appeared in a March lawsuit by a dozen female library employees, accusing the library of long maintaining a “(sexually) hostile work environment.”)

• Surgeon David C. Arndt, who made News of the Weird last year when he left a patient in the operating room while he ducked out to the bank to cash a check, and who later was arrested for sexually assaulting a 15-year-old boy, filed an application in February to tap into a state legal assistance fund for $15,000 to contest the latter charge, because he said he couldn’t afford to pay his lawyer and he didn’t want a public defender.

• Convicted own-home arsonist Merle Crossman, 49, in an Ellsworth, Maine, prison, filed a lawsuit against Middlesex Mutual Insurance Co. demanding payment of $75,000 on the house he burned down, claiming that, since he pleaded “no contest” and not “guilty,” he is still entitled to insurance payments.

Oops!

• In February in Chichester, N.H., Thomas A. Barrett was fined $240 and given a six-month suspended sentence for his no-contest plea to creating a false fire alarm. Barrett told the judge that he was celebrating his 21st birthday at Jillian’s Bar & Grill, and as he staggered down a hallway to the men’s room, he mistakenly urinated on the floor and pulled the fire alarm, which he thought was a toilet’s flushing mechanism.

• A 35-year-old man was uninjured but his Jaguar mangled after he momentarily lost control at 70 mph on Interstate 15 near Pala, Calif., in January and drove underneath an 18-wheeler, with the car getting stuck under the axle and being dragged for a half-mile before another motorist signaled to the driver of the rig.

• My bad: St. Louis, Mo., judge Julian Bush admitted in March that a burglary suspect had been locked up for three months because Bush mistakenly signed a conviction order instead of an order for a hearing. And in February, Pratap Nayak was released from prison by India’s High Court, nine years after he had officially been freed; Pratap and his five co-defendants had been found not guilty of assault in 1994, but since the other five were already out by that time for other reasons, court officials had assumed all were out.

— Chuck Shepherd © United Press Syndicate

M E T R O S P I R I T M A Y 2 2 2 0 0 3

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M E T R O S P I R I T M A Y 2 2 2 0 0 3

Brezsny's Free Will Astrology ARIES (March 21-April 19)

My friend’s uncle, an Aries entrepreneur, is now in Iraq, investigating the possibility of building a new Disneyland-like theme park in Baghdad by 2007.

Meanwhile, my acupuncturist’s cousin, also an Aries, is hoping to become the first full-time clown in Antarctica; he has a patron who works for a British survey team there. Another Aries I know is a psychotherapist who’s seeking to donate his services in the civil war-torn Congo. I nominate them all to be your role models. It’s time for you to consider plying your best skills in places you’ve never imagined might need them.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

Ancient Hawaiians had a sport they called Lele Kawa, in which they dived off cliffs into the ocean.

Pu’u Keka’a, a tall volcanic cinder cone in West Maui, was a perfect place from which to jump, but everyone avoided it. Legend held it was a taboo place: “the leaping place of the soul,” where the souls of the recently dead left the earth and ascended into the spirit world. But that all changed one day in the 19th century when a great warrior, King Kaheliki, climbed to the top of Pu’u Keka’a and plunged into the sea, shattering the taboo and mutating the myth. Since then, hundreds of other divers have tried it. By my reckoning, Taurus, you now have the courage and daring to make a comparable shift in the way things have always been done in your sphere. Ready to shatter a taboo and mutate a myth?

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

Mokuola is a small island off the coast of the big island of Hawaii. In the old days it was reputed to have curative powers. Seekers who went there in quest of healing had to help stir up the magic, though; they couldn’t just lie back and expect the spirits of the place to do all the work. One way a visitor could ensure a long life, according to legend, was to swim underwater around the island three times. This emphasis on a participatory style

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of healing parallels a situation in your life, Gemini. Although you’re now within reach of a rejuvenating influence, you’ll have to collaborate with it aggressively in order to coax out its full benefits.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

As the sun set on a gorgeous spring day a few weeks ago, my companion accidentally left her purse beneath the Western world’s biggest Buddha statue at a serene Buddhist mission near a Maui beach. Whoever found it chose not to return it. In contrast, on a chilly night last January, I lost my wallet on a litter-strewn street in a San Francisco slum. The woman who found it spent an hour on the phone until she tracked me down, then drove 20 miles to deliver it to me personally. The moral of the story, as far as it applies to you in the coming week, Cancerian: It’s preferable to lose something of value in a poor, homely place than in a rich, beautiful place.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

Even on Hawaii’s most elegant beaches, the water can be wild. Rip currents and rogue waves come out of nowhere, sweeping swimmers out to sea.

Local inhabitants echo what the travel guides warn: Never turn your back on the ocean. In general, it’s a good idea to observe similar caution when dealing with any elemental force of nature. Having said that, though, I’ll note that this is one of those rare times when you Leos could actually get away with turning your back on the ocean, metaphorically speaking. Maybe that’s because you yourself are, at least for now, an elemental force of nature.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Your sense of mission should be heating up, Virgo.

Your tribe needs you more than usual. Your potential is ripening at the same time it is becoming most useful to your cohorts. But wait: That doesn’t mean your path will be effortless in the coming weeks.

There will be adversaries and agents of confusion you’ll have to outwit. In order to be a radiant insti-

New York Times Crossword Puzzle

46

gator of beauty and truth for your allies and a cagey master of strategy when dealing with your competitors, I recommend the paradoxical approach Jesus described: Be as pure and harmless as a dove and as wise as a serpent.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

I’ve writing this horoscope in Maui, where I’ve fallen in love with the Hawaiian language. It doesn’t matter that I don’t understand the literal meaning of many Hawaiian words. Their melodious, expansive rhythms have a magical effect that’s both soothing and stimulating. While listening to a native speaker, I find myself perceiving my surroundings more vividly. My defense mechanisms subside, my heart opens, and I relax into a more receptive relationship with the whole world. I predict that a similar mood will soon bless you, Libra, whether or not you hear Hawaiian. Expect a long surge of empathetic curiosity.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

I know a sailor who was aboard a submarine that bombed Iraq with cruise missiles last March. He said that in the days leading up to the attacks, the crew’s regular entertainment hour featured a steady diet of porn videos authorized by the top brass. The sailor figured this was a weird form of motivational psychology meant to pump up the testosterone levels of his fellow warriors as they prepared to unleash America’s destructive fury. He felt terribly conflicted about it. While he believed then and still believes that the war on Iraq was the right thing to do, he hated this pathological approach to psyching up the troops. He refused to watch the porn and tried to talk other sailors into boycotting it. In the spirit of his integrity, Scorpio, I urge you to renounce the philosophy that the end justifies the means. You can’t afford to do bad things while following your heart.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Many of you Sagittarians have a tortured relationship with discipline. You know you need it if you hope to fill your life with epic adventure. But you sometimes resist planning ahead and marshalling your resources, feeling that would interfere with having more immediate, short-term fun. Trouble is, though, when you avoid planning and marshalling, the short-term fun you get caught up in is often trivial and unsatisfying. That’s the bad news.

Here’s the good news: You’re in a phase when you

ACROSS 31 1 Dilute 34 5 Bird’s-eye view? 36 9 Part-time 37

Parking place Complete Skirts The Roosevelt peacekeepers years, e.g.

14 Jaunty greeting 38 Thick board, literally?

15 “___ Bowl of Tea” (1989 40 Easter display comedy) 41 Willowy 16 Before 43 Like some 17 Jocular remark colors by someone 44 Stops along the holding a door, line: Abbr. literally?

45 Wood splitter 19 Some pups 47 Roll back, 20 Queequeg’s perhaps craft 49 Egg cream 21 Five-time “ER” ingredient Emmy nominee 51 Positive 23 Sound of an thinker’s unexpected stop proclamation 25 It may produce 55 Average a stir producer 26 Baseball exec 58 Shout after Bud waiting 28 They’re not perfectly round 59 Run through

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE I B M S

S O U P

B L A N C

R O G E R

M A Z E

E R O O

L A S H

E S T E E E M X H A A R U M S O T R I O N

S T A R R E D S P L I C E R

N E C H O I R S N E C A E D L E O S C A U L T E E

A T C H M O R Y I O E D D P R O B E A N P A S T E A Y E A I O U L R U N K S R E C G O T O P R O T R L I F L O O N E N D S S A

T A M B O U R I N E

A L O E

J A W S

P L E B S

S Y N C S

A W O L

C E L T

T R A Y

60 Sermon subject,

literally?

62 Desert dearth 63 One may be on its last leg 64 Actress O’Connor and others 65 ___ Blixen a k a Isak Dinesen 66 Like a line, briefly 67 Hardly coy DOWN

1

2

start 4 Superlatively sublime 5 Breakfast pastry 6 Cannes dew?

7 Memo abbr.

8 Lays out 9 No tough opponent 10 Driving club 11 Attend a slumber party, literally?

12 Place for a planter 13 Something ___ 18 Big shoe spec 22 Stamp seller on base: Abbr.

24 Proposition, slangily 27 Errand runner 29 Academic figure

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

You’re entering puberty again! Congrats! It’ll be on a higher octave than last time, so you’ll have more savvy to deal with the hormonal rush. To facilitate this unpredictable foray into serious goofiness, I’m happy to present you with the wisdom of sixth grade girls I know, gleaned from sayings they’ve scrawled on their backpacks and binders. Enjoy. Understand the groove. Learn as if you’ll live forever. Explain yourself wildly, not carefully. Wake up — but not too fast, or you might hurt yourself. Question authority, including the authority that told you to question authority.

It’s all so funny — how can you not be laughing?

When you shout “halaluya,” never spell it right.

Live the freakiest truth. Give me chocolate or I’ll scream.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

A German woman who recently died bequeathed her nephew $275,000. Trouble is, he’s a homeless man who wanders around a lot. Executors of the woman’s will have not yet been able to locate him.

This resembles a situation in your own life, Pisces.

Even now, a rich source of blessings is trying to track you down and attract your attention. So far you’ve been oblivious. Let’s hope you wake up to the presence of the gift very soon.

— © Rob Brezsny You Can Call Rob Brezsny, day or night, for your Expanded Weekly Horoscope

1-900-950-7700

$1.99 per minute • 18 & over • Touchtone phone required • C/S 612-373-9785 • www.freewillastrology.com/

4

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26 34

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46 49

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36 39

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12

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10

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55

8

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20

31

7

15

2 Operatic

challenge

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Suggested reading list for the coming weeks: 1.

“Dealing With People You Can’t Stand: How To Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst,” by Rick Brinkman and Rick Kirschner. 2. “Never Be Lied to Again,” by David Lieberman. 3. “Cut the Clutter and Stow the Stuff,” by Lori Baird. 4.

“Everything You Know Is Wrong,” by Russ Kick.

5. “You’re a Genius — And I Can Prove It!” by Kimberly Kassner. 6. Journal entries or notes you wrote to yourself between March and May, 2001.

14

1 Loosens up

3 Rumormonger’s

3

can make a dramatic shift in your relationship to discipline, rendering most of what I just said irrelevant.

50

56

48 51

52 58

57

59

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Puzzle by Chuck Menning

30 Streakers,

briefly 31 Ward with an Emmy 32 Grand finale?

33 Testify in court, literally?

35 Salinger title character 38 Rip into

39 Voted out 42 Flip side of

“Revolution” 44 Battling insomnia 46 Pester for payment 48 Book before Job: Abbr.

50 Pitcher Martinez

52 Queeg’s craft 53 Equally distant 54 SALT subject 55 Gloaming 56 Accident-

monitoring grp.

57 One of the

Lennons

61 High honor

For answers, call 1-900-285-5656, $1.20 a minute; or, with a credit card, 1-800-814-5554.

Annual subscriptions are available for the best of Sunday crosswords from the last 50 years: 1-888-7-ACROSS. Online subscriptions: Today's puzzle and more than 2,000 past puzzles, nytimes.com/diversions ($19.95 a year).

Crosswords for young solvers: The Learning Network, nytimes.com/learning/xwords.

47 M E T R O S P I R I T M A Y 2 2

“Parasite seeks new hostess?” He’ll get right on it. Well, sometime. If only he weren’t so busy bonding with the upholstery on your couch, he might find time to pore over the classifieds for a position that suits him: one in which the job description matches that of a throw pillow. To you, of course, he’s more than some couch accessory. In fact, with those long, perilous treks to the mailbox and those worklike motions he occasionally makes with a feather duster, he’s practically CEO of your couch.

You can’t complain that the guy’s ambitionless. He’s actively seeking to remain as inactive as possible. That’s where the “decent guy” show comes in handy. Then again, maybe he really is “emotionally present” — except when the subject of his depar ture comes up, and he takes an emotional sick day. Regarding his being “genuinely kind,” if only he’d be genuinely kind enough to blend into his native couch environment, much like those insects that look just like twigs, so you could star t taking applications from potential new boyfriends. All he’d have to do is get a full-body tat too in bold florals or subtly-striped velour, whichever matches the pat tern on your couch. If you date men with bad eyesight and keep the lights low, who’s to say whether that’s a should-be ex-boyfriend or a should-be ex-boyfriend-shaped throw pillow on your couch?

Finally, in cataloging his many good qualities, you forgot to mention how practical he is. Why, indeed, would he go looking for a job, money or an apar tment? You already have all those things. What you don’t have is a boyfriend who will have sex with you or sometimes spring for dinner, and you won’t until you close the homeless shelter for lazy upper middle-class men.

This requires ditching your self-image as someone too “kind” to drop-kick a man who doesn’t

seem to care about money (just as long as you’re bringing it in).

Give the guy a two-week deadline to find another woman to sponge of f — uh, get his life in order and get it out of your house. Whether his life is actually in order on the appointed day is unimpor tant; what mat ters is that it no longer remains in your house, and neither does he.

Although it isn’t your job to pack his stuf f, since his stuf f is unlikely to grow legs and hop into boxes, you’ll probably have to do it anyway. Get a friend to help — someone beyond tired of advising you to scrape the giant barnacle of f your hull.

Make an appointment with a locksmith for “Barnacle Bye-Bye Day,” which you might refer to in his presence as “The Day the Locks Will Change.” This should let him know you’re serious. It should, but it probably won’t. Be prepared for him to continue modeling his behavior on that of natural-born upholstery, and be prepared to act accordingly: like a woman ready for a boyfriend who accompanies her to Bed, Bath and Beyond because he might buy something, not because he identifies with decorative objects designed to lie around the house.

I’m a college student who’s never had a relationship. On a class trip, I seriously fell for “Amber.” After I confessed my feelings, she turned cold on me. I discussed the situation with my friend “Tiffany.” The meaner Amber acted, the more attractive Tiffany seemed. Now I want to tell Tiffany I’ve fallen for her, but I’m afraid she’ll reject me like Amber did.

How can I improve the odds she’ll appreciate my forthrightness?

—Explain Crash One minute, a girl’s having a quiet cof fee with you, the nex t, she’s got your feelings oozing all over her like The Blob. Her thoughts turn, not to her future with you, but to tips from “How To Foil a UFO Abduction,” from “The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Travel”: “Firmly tell the EBE (ex traterrestrial biological entity) to leave you alone” and “Try to avoid mental images of abduction (boarding the saucer, anal probes); such images may urge them to take you.” Instead of gushing all over a girl, simply ask her on a date. This sends a subtle message that you’re interested. She may not be interested back, but she probably won’t run to line her hat with tinfoil to deflect your thoughts.

— © 2003, Amy Alkon

Got A Problem?

Write Amy Alkon

171 Pier Ave., Box 280 • Santa Monica, CA 90405 or e-mail AdviceAmy@aol.com

Life is hectic. Weekends shouldn't have to be. Join Scott Simon for Weekend Edition every Saturday at 8:00 AM on WACG, 90.7 FM. Reclaim your Saturday and hear weekend news, views, and commentary. From gardening tips and film reviews to in-depth news analysis, Peabody Award-winning host Scott Simon eases you into the weekend with a fresh perspective.

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I

’ve been living with this guy for three years, and it clearly isn’t working anymore. Neither is he — working, that is. He isn’t a complete loafer, but he brings in the mail, not an income. He does some stuff around the house, but both money and sex are nonexistent, and he’s never gotten serious about looking for a job. I’m ready to say “Adios, amigo.” Problem is, he’s a decent guy: emotionally present, genuinely kind. How can I push Mr. Nice Guy out when he has no job, no money and nowhere to go?

—Vexed and Vacillating

2 0 0 3

Call us at (800) 654-3038 or visit us at www.gpb.org for more information about our programming.

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE The Metropolitan Spirit has a full time, entry level sales position available.

The ideal candidate is ambitious, self-motivated, competitive, persuasive, positive, creative, and a great communicator in person and on paper.

Account executives develop new business, work with clients and production artists to create ads that get results.

If you possess an entrepreneurial drive and are up for a challenge with big rewards, please send your resume, with cover letter to:

Advertising Sales c/o The Metropolitan Spirit P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914 or fax to 706-733-6663 EOE

M E T R O S P I R I T M A Y 2 2 2 0 0 3

Classifieds Mind, Body & Spirit

Employment WE NEED A SINGER! For a local rock band.

Mostly original hard rock some covers, play list felxible.

Join Our Band!

Info and/or auditions, 706-736-1077 or thenewsinger@msn.com (05/22#8086) Seeking Model Ar tist seeking female nude model for drawing and photo sessions (no pornography). Athletic build preferred. 18 and over please.

Call (706) 951-7702 (05/22#8078)

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Apply in person 1367 Gordon Highway.

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Home based business. free-yourself-4ever.com 888-373-6795 (05/22#8102) Micro-Kem Outside Sales Person Wanted in CSRA Area Salary + Commission Phone & Car Allowance Call Karyn for interview 868-1818 (05/22 #8089) $250 - $500 a Week Will train to work at home helping the US Government file HUD/FHA Mor tgage Refunds.

No experience necessary. Call 1-800-778-0353 (05/22#8111)

Equipment WOLFF TANNING BEDS AFFORDABLE • CONVIENENT Tan At Home Payments From $25/month FREE Color-Catalog Call Today 1-800-842-1305 (05/22#8100)

READINGS BY

MRS. GRAHAM

C A R D R E A D I N G S

Mrs. Graham, Psychic Reader, Advises on all affairs of life, such as love, marriage, and business. She tells your past, present and future. Mrs. Graham does palm, tarot card, and crystal readings. She specializes in relationships and reuniting loved ones.

SPECIAL READINGS WITH CARD

48

341 S. Belair Rd. Open from 9 a.m. til 9 p.m.

Call (706) 733-5851

Professional Massage By experienced male.

Designed for healthy men 18 - 45.

A great way to rela x House & Hotel Calls Only 706-589-9139 (06/05#8114)

Don’t Miss

The Memorial Day Beach Party This Saturday, May 24th (Wear you’re beach clothes)

Bhakti Yoga

Club Argos Dance Club & The Tower of Argos Leather Bar Augusta’s Premier Progressive House Dance & Entertainment Zone with DJ Joe Stone

Now at Sacred Space 206 8th St. (706) 556-8490 Full Body Massage!

Therapeutic tension relief, intense or tender touch, rela xing music, aromatherapy, by appointment only - $49.00/hr Call Joy - 706-771-9470 or John - 706-868-5598 (05/22#8107)

Miscellaneous For Sale Black Jump Boots. Never Worn. $25.00 706798-7954 (07/24#8115) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Regency Crystal Police Scanner. Base or mobile, receives Aiken County agencies. $35.00. 706-798-7954. (07/17#8112) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Bedroom Suite, dresser, chest of drawers & headboard. All 3 pieces $50.00 912-829-3226 or 912-829-4556 (07/10#8105) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Snap-On IM51 Air Impact Wrench, 1/2” drive, good condition, $75.00. National Detroit DA Air Sander, good condition, $60.00 Ask for Larry (813)391-9580. (07/10#8106) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Tons of Cloth! All types/pat terns good grade material. Will sell all for $35.00, 912-829-3226 or 912-829-4556 (07/10#8104) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Dining Room Table - Never used, rectangular solid light wood. Seats 4-6, paid $200.00, sell for $75.00 OBO. Silver Sony CD Car Stereo, w/ remote, paid $200.00, sell for $75.00 OBO. 706-799-0417. (06/26#8083)) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Black Magnum Lace up Boots. New, never worn. Perfect for public safety officers. Sizes 9 1/2 and 10. $30.00 each. 706-798-7954.

(06/26#8084) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Genuine English (Raleigh) Lightweight ladies touring bike. Very good condition. $35.00, needs new tires, call Maddie 860-4745.

(06/12#8073)

Alt. Lifestyles

GE Refrigerater, runs great, looks OK, $35.00 Delivery available ex tra charge. Call 706-7931563. (06/12#8071) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Infiniti floor speakers, with tweeter, midrange, woofer and passive radiator, $125, Call 8698931. (06/05#8063) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Recliner, blue, fair condition $25.00. Dinet te table w/ 4 chairs $40.00 Call 706-868-9827.

(06/05#8064) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Sony five CD carousel with remote, box, manual, works great, $75, call 869-8931.

(06/05#8061) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Baritone Brass Instrument w/ case, good condition, $700.00 Please call 803-652-8312, between 7 pm & 9 pm. (05/29#8052) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Antique Sewing Machine Tables with oak tops.

(40” X 20” & 30” X 30”) Excellant condition, $50 each. Call 706-868-1384 after 5 pm.

(05/29#8050) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Bicycle Built For Two - Trail-mate - red - excellant condition, $195.00 OBO 706-541-0656 (05/29#8051) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Adult DVD - 10 adult DVD’s $80.00 for all.

803-648-5360 (05/29#8053) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Bedroom dresser with large mirror $50.00; Octagan shaped lamp table $15.00; Over tub shower bench $50.00, Call 706-736-7356 (05/15#8034)

The Shack The CSRA’s Only All Night Place

1923 Walton Way Open Mon-Fri for Happy Hour @ 6:00pm with $1 off everything

(803) 441-0053 425 Carolina Springs Rd North Augusta, SC

Wed

Garage Dance Party

Thu

Karaoke Dance Party with DJ Joe Steel. $2 bottled beer, $2.50 Cabanna Boy Rum Drinks & 2-4-1 Shots

Fri

Argos Angels Stephanie Ross, Barbara, Diane & Brazia

Sat

Memorial Day Bikini Beach Party w/ Petite De JonVille, Claire Storm & Ms. Sasha. Wear your beach clothes.

Tues Rum Tuesday All Barcardi Drinks $3

COMING EVENTS

Fri, May 30

Goth Night

Fri, June 13 Fri, June 20

Lady Chablis Mr. Club Argos

Fri, July 4

Mr. Georgia USA

Wed Karaoke & 2-4-1 Frozen Margaritas & Coladas, $2 Bottled Beer Sun

Every weekend come see who is dancing in the cages!

Argos welcomes Gay, Lesbian, Bi, BDSM,

Swingers, TVTS, Goth & all openminded patrons Call us @ 481-8829 or email us at ClubArgos@aol.com

Volley Ball @ 5:00, Karaoke @ 8:00 & Sasha’s Talent Show @ 12:30

Come have fun where the party doesn’t end at 3:00am!

Argos or The Shack - The Only Pace To Party!

Resort Rentals Amelia Island, Florida 2 Bedroom 2 bath direct ocean front condo in the hear t of historical Fernandina Beach, Florida. A convenient location without the crowds.

736-7070 -----------560-8980 (05/22#8094)

Religion

THE COLISEUM

Premier Entertainment Complex & High Energy Dance Music

Friday, 5/23 Destiny as Diana Ross

Drink Specials: WED $9 Wet N' Wild SAT All You Can Drink Well/Liquor/Draft $9

Saturday, 5/24 Juliana McVeigh

Open Mon-Fri 8pm-3am Sat 8pm-2:30am

Fri & Sat. No Cover Before 10 p.m.

www.metspirit.com Pets PLEASE HELP! Need a new home for two adult, female cats (sisters). Both have been spayed and declawed (front paws only).Can no longer keep due to illness. I urgently need someone to take these beautiful cats.

706-240-8888 and leave number.

(5/22#8079)

Metropolitan Community Church of Our Redeemer A Christian Church reaching to all: including Gay, Lesbian, and Transgendered Christians.

Meeting at 311 Seventh Street, 11 am and 7 pm each Sunday. 722-6454 MCCAugusta@aol.com www.mccoor.com

Travel

1632 Walton Way • Augusta, GA

706-733-2603

Email: ColiseumAugusta@aol.com

Announcement SPECIAL INVITATION for WOMEN ONLY WHO ME!??! Someone invited you to a nudist event and you are hesitant! Meet other women who now enjoy a nudist lifestyle Tuesday, May 20, 2003 6:00 ˆ 8:00 pm. Sponsored by Women In Nude Recreation and The Augusta Naturists. RSVR (706) 736-7838 E-mail: Nudelikeme2@knology.net http://www.knology.net/~nudlikeme2/main.htm

Private Investigators

Wheels

RAY WILLIAMSON & ASSOCIATES Private Investigations 17 years experience Domestic Relations and Child Custody Cases Licensed and Bonded in Georgia & Carolina 706-854-9672 or 706-854-9678 fa x (05/22#8093)

We want your dead junk or scrap car bodies.

We tow away and for some we pay.

Dead Bodies Wanted

706/829-2676

OR

706/798-9060

49 M E T R O S P I R I T

To become a member, call 1-888-223-7044 To listen and respond to ads, call 1-900-226-8908 Calls cost $1.99 per min., Must be 18+.

,call 1-866-832-4685

To respond to ads using a

K

NURSE SEEKS DOCTOR LOVE SWF, 24, blonde/brown, full-figured, attractive, financially independent, N/S, N/D, single mom of one, desires for special SWM, 24-33, honest, employed, N/S, N/D, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎323553 TAKE ME DANCING SWF, 25, 5’9”, blonde/brown, Gemini, N/S, seeks WM, 30-38, N/S, who likes kids. For dating. ☎385501

E

TAKE ME AS I AM 60 years young. DWF, no children, self-supporting, retired, attractive (so I’m told).

Seeking marriage-minded, financially secure SWM, 55-65. ☎397659 MORE THAN AVERAGE Slender SBF, 53, 5’2”, independent, Aries, smoker, loves music, conversation, laughter.

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Seeking BCM, 50-55, N/S, who sees things the same as I do. ☎299661 TO THE POINT DWF, 37, administrative assistant, Capricorn, N/S, seeks WM, 29-49, N/S, occasional drinker ok, honest, for dating. ☎299335 MEET THE CRITERIA? SBF, 32, mother, smoker, seeks considerate male, 35-42, with capability to be understanding and sincere in a relationship. ☎288180 ENVELOPING EMBRACE Kind-hearted SBCF, 52, non-smoker, enjoys dining out, attending church. Seeking loving SBCM, 52-65, with similar interests. ☎287845 FALL IN LOVE AGAIN SF, 46, dark complexion, cosmetologist, seeks caring, sensitive, employed man, 4656, for long walks, cuddling, and more. ☎284967 FIRST TIME AD! Employed SBF, 35, no children, wants to meet a laid-back, spontaneous man, 33-41, race unimportant, to get to know as a friend and maybe progress to more! ☎280007 OLD-FASHIONED GIRL SWF, 34, attractive, blonde, with good morals and values, Leo, N/S, enjoys nature, cooking, animals, movies, and home life. Desiring marriage-minded, family-oriented WM, 3245. ☎261032 SEEKING DEDICATED PERSON SWF, late-30s, blonde/blue, is dedicated and looking for the same in a man, for friendship first, possibly more. ☎251283 LEO SBF, 31, wants to share quality time with a man who loves movies, dining out, quiet times, for friendship. ☎202217

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We Purchase Fine Swiss Watches, Estate Jewelry and Diamonds.

Monday-Saturday 10am-9pm 2635 Washington Road | Augusta, Georgia 30904 | 706.738.7777 www.windsorjewelers.net MAKE MY HEART LAUGH SBF, 22, 5’8”, 155lbs, part-time student, seeks sensual, kind man with a great heart, for movies, dining out, and open-minded conversation. ☎565120 WIDOWED SENIOR WF, honest, neat appearance, good sense of humor, seeking WM, 55-75, honest, caring. ☎449726 Men Seeking Women

TRY ME SBM, 31, enjoys sports, movies, park walks, good conversation. Seeking pretty, honest SF, to share these with. ☎448964 I CAN COOK SWM, 51, 6’1”, 193lbs, with blue eyes and a laid-back attitude, seeks a woman with a spontaneous, creative spirit. ☎434997 THE PERFECT MATE DBM, 40, 6’, 195lbs, with 1 child, Capricorn, smoker, homeowner, loves gardening, cooking, and hunting. Seeking WF, 28-42, petite, to bedazzling. ☎873556 DON’T MISS THIS! SBM, 45, 5’10’’, 230lbs, interested in sports, jazz, movies, dining out. Would like to meet a woman with the same interests. ☎862898 WELL-ROUNDED MAN Educated DBPM, 41, 5’11”, loves reading, working out, the arts, dining out, travel, quiet times. Would like to meet female, 30-45, with similar interests, for fun, friendship, and maybe more. ☎442021

HERE I AM SBM, 32, 6’9”, glasses, Aries, smoker, loves singing, drawing, and dining out. Seeking a woman, 21-56, with whom to connect. ☎430788 SAY ‘BYE TO LONELINESS Male, 35, 5’2”, H/W proportionate, attractive, light-skinned, Leo, proportionate, smoker, seeks woman, 18-35, laid-back, committed, and faithful. ☎432003 YOU AND ME SWM, 34, enjoys outdoors, good times, movies, laughter, romance. Seeking loving, caring SWF, 20-50, for LTR. ☎412476 COMPATIBLE WOMAN WANTED DWM, 46, 5’9”, N/S, slim build, Capricorn, N/S, enjoys old cars, boating, classic rock, horror movies, mountains, beach. Seeking SWF, 38-46, N/S, for LTR. ☎341454 LET’S GET IN TOUCH! SWM, 20, Cancer, smoker, enjoys fishing, hunting, walking, playing games. Seeking older woman, 30-60, for possible relationship. ☎888111 JUST FOR YOU SWM, 29, brown/green, 5’8”, 150lbs, employed, seeks outgoing, active SWF, 2135, who can appreciate a loving man. ☎416629 COMMITMENT SM, 6’1”, 205lbs, outspoken, outgoing, very loving, looking for SF, who is not afraid of commitment, is loving and caring. ☎406726 TAKE ME ON Male, 34, 5’10”, 180lbs, black/hazel, Capricorn, financially secure, smoker, seeks woman, 27-39, smoker, petite, who loves Nascar and beaches. ☎429058 SEEKING FOR LOVE Independent, attractive SBM, 28, Leo, non smoker, likes dining, movies. Seeking woman, 18-40, to have a good time, for casual friendship. Race open ☎365633

Stud Finder YOU HAVE 6 NEW MATCHES

LOOKING FOR YOU SWF, 37, 5’6”, Scorpio, N/S, enjoys mountains, bowling, the beach and music. Seeking WM, 35-48, N/S, to be a companion, friend. ☎456544 COMPANIONSHIP DWF, 48, enjoys antiquing, travel, dining out, movies and more. Seeking DWM, 48-58, for loving, tender relationship. ☎732056 BE HONEST SF, 60, enjoys good conversations, going to Church, yard sales, music. Seeking SM, 5070, N/S, likes to go to Church. ☎965856 LOVES TO LAUGH Attractive SWF, 19, 5’9”, Libra, smoker, seeks WM, 18-35, for a solid, good, honest friendship leading towards LTR. ☎455393 OUTGOING WF, 50s, 5’5”, 150lbs, brunette, likes dining out, dancing, cooking, interior decorating, more. Give me a call. ☎443130 HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER SWF, 57, 5’11”, 130lbs, very trim, Capricorn, N/S, enjoys canoeing, backpacking, nature photography, and hiking. Seeking WM, 5262, N/S, with similar interests. ☎358288 NO INTRO NEEDED SBCF, 26, 5’4”, 130lbs, single parent of a 7year-old son, very independent, Gemini, N/S, seeks BM, 27-40, to be my friend. ☎432010 SEARCHING FOR MR RIGHT SBPF, 39, Libra, loves church, traveling, movies, and dining out. Seeking SBPM, 3760, for possible LTR. ☎421273 SINGLE MOM DWF, 40, 5’3”, brown/brown, full-figured, new to the area, seeks non-smoking SCM, 40+, for companionship, friendship, possibly more. ☎319109 HOPELESS ROMANTIC SBF, 25, no children, very independent, Leo, N/S, seeks BM, 26-40, N/S, with whom to share movies, dancing, and quality time. ☎300467 ARE YOU THE ONE? College educated SWF, early 40s, 5’6”, 136lbs, extroverted, enjoys camping, country living, animals, movies, traveling. Seeking same in SWM, 40-50, similar interests. ☎965910 A SIMPLE GAL SWF, 35, 5’4”, seeks laid back man, 18-40, for casual dating, friendship maybe more. ☎418340 A SPECIAL SOMEONE SBF, 25, mother, seek financially stable, independent man, 20-45, who loves children, for LTR . ☎415803 OUTGOING/OUTDOORS TYPE Tall, full-figured, SF, 5’10, long red hair, green eyes, outgoing, outdoors type, spends allot of time with two children, likes movies and sports. Seeking compatible SM, 24-40. ☎402582 NICE EVENINGS Attractive SBF, 35, enjoys nice evenings, conversation, seeking loving SBM, 30-37, for nice evenings. ☎400597

LIGHT UP MY LIFE Beautiful BF, 60, 5’11”, with a brown complexion, N/S, N/D, has lots of love and passion to share with a SBM, who goes to church. ☎383766 ATTENTION! Your military date is in Augusta. SF seeks military male, 29-45, with good sense of humor, good values/qualities. No abusers.

Race open. Children ok. Will answer all. ☎334255 THE LONG RUN SBF, 43, single parent, health service technician, Capricorn, N/S, loves basketball.

Seeking BM, 37-47, N/S, for friendship, love, and beyond. ☎872160

M A Y

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GUIDELINES: DATE MAKER ads are for adults 18 or over seeking monogamous relationships. To ensure your safety, carefully screen all responses. First meetings should occur in a public place. Abbreviations are permitted only to indicate gender preference, race, and religion. We suggest your ad contain a self-description, age range, lifestyle and avocations. Ads and voice messages containing explicit sexual language will not be accepted. This publication reserves the right to revise copy containing objectionable phrases; to reject in its sole discretion, any advertisement on account of its text. This publication assumes no responsibility for the content or reply to any DATE MAKER ad. The advertiser assumes complete liability for the content and all replies to any advertisement or recorded message and for any claims made against this publication and its agents as a result thereof. The advertiser agrees to indemnify and hold this publication, its employees and its agents harmless from all costs, expenses (including reasonable attorney fees), liabilities and damages resulting from or caused by the publication or recording placed by the a service of advertiser or any reply to any such advertisement. By using DATE MAKER, the advertiser agrees not to leave his/her phone number, last name or address in his/her voice greeting. Not all boxes contain a voice greeting.

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M B D F H C LTR

Male Black Divorced Female Hispanic Christian Long-term Relationship

G W A S J P N/D N/S

Gay White Asian Single Jewish Professional Non-Drinker Non-smoker

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M E T R O S P I R I T M A Y 2 2 2 0 0 3

Calls cost $1.99 per min., Must be 18+.

To respond to ads using a LET’S CHAT SWM, 53, Scorpio, N/S, college-educated, easygoing, enjoys travel and beaches.

Seeking friendship, possible LTR with a WF, 45-55, N/S. ☎358466 LOOKING FOR LOVE Loving, passionate SWM, 50, Pisces, non smoker, seeks WF, 35-50, to date and more.

Friends, leading to LTR. ☎353217 WORTH THE CALL Attractive SAM, 37, Pisces, non smoker, seeks woman, 18-45, non smoker, for dating and fun times. ☎349386 KEEP IT SIMPLE SWM, 45, carpenter, enjoys travel, sports, fishing, dancing, music, playing cards.

Seeking SF, who enjoys the same. ☎343229 TAKE ME AS I AM SWM, 31, 5’6”, medium build, brown/blue, Gemini, N/S, enjoys movies, and more.

Seeking SWF, 25-35, N/S, N/D, who enjoys good times, dating, for LTR. ☎341418 SEEKING BBW SWM, 41, 6’, black/green, enjoys reading, movies, dining out, travel, dancing, quiet times. Seeking queen-size female, with a heart to match, for love and romance. ☎325398 MAY GOD BE WITH US Christian with deep spiritual convictions.

DWM, 61 years young, 5’11”, 155lbs, full head of salt-and-pepper hair. Seeking S/DWCF, 45-60, N/S, N/D, attractive, feminine, slender, good health, self-supporting.

Must exercise four times weekly, do four military push-ups and carry your own backpack five miles to keep up with me physically.

Enjoys outdoor activities such as rafting, hiking, swimming and canoeing. I’m willing to participate in your interests also. Waiting to hear from you. ☎327909 SEEKING TRUE LOVE Handsome SBM, 39, compassionate, financially secure, seeks romantic, attractive, compassionate BF, 21-45, for romantic dinners, movies, walks along the beach, true friendship, LTR. You won’t be disappointed. ☎920361 SAY YOU, SAY ME SWM, 25, 5’10”, 165lbs, medium build, brown/blue, Gemini, N/S, outgoing, energetic, seeks WF, 19-28, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎302503 YOU SUPPLY... the marshmallows. I’ll supply the bonfire, SWM, 36, truck driver, Aries, N/S, loves camping. Seeking a woman, 40-58. ☎316730 JUST YOUR AVERAGE GUY SWM, 37, N/S, likes motorcycles, fishing, camping, farming, relaxing weekends.

Seeking SWF, 25-40, to join me on life’s journey. ☎287476 WOULD YOU BE MY GIRL? Light-skinned SBM, 20, 5’8”, short/brown, likes going to movies and more. Seeking single lady, 18-30, who’d like to be my girl. ☎275833 ENJOY LIFE WITH ME! SM, 52, wants to meet a fun-loving woman, 35-48, who is easy to get along with, likes sports, music, and more. ☎282853 MY DREAM GIRL SM, 29, 5’8’’, likes basketball. Looking for a female, 25-40, who enjoys going out and having a nice time! ☎274284 EARLY RETIREMENT SM, 63, works part time, deep sense of spiritual conviction, loves the Bible, fellowship, life. Searching for similar woman, 45-56. ☎279329 LET’S FALL IN LOVE SM, 25, enjoys travel, movies, writing.

Looking for a good woman, 25-42, who shares some of these interests. ☎281603 LET’S DO LUNCH SBM, 28, Leo, homeowner, entrepreneur, attractive, seeks friendship with average, every day woman, 20-40. Have your heart talk to mine. ☎270867 SOCCER LOVER SHM, 21, 190lbs, loves to play soccer.

Seeking a woman with a good personality. ☎250070

TRUE FRIENDSHIP Handsome SBM, 40, with a compassionate nature, seeks a S/DBF, 43-50, with the same qualities for a passionate relationship. ☎200917 CHEF/PIANIST 6’, 190lbs, brown/blue, handsome, amateur psychologist, nice car, time off to travel, will send photo. Seeks pretty female companion, 26-39, no kids, light smoker/drinker okay. ☎882215 MY DEMANDS ARE SIMPLE SBM, 34, seeks a relationship with a faithful and honest BF, 28-39, smoker, for an honest relationship. ☎949160 IT TAKES TWO SBM, 33, Gemini, N/S, enjoys art, jazz, classical music, hip hop. Seeking SBF, 23-43, for shared interests in music, life, and happiness. ☎941377 IF YOU’RE READING THIS... why not give me a call? SWCM, 19, 6’, 185lbs, brown/blue, relaxed attitude, Capricorn, N/S, seeks WF, 19-25, N/S, for possible LTR. ☎938173 LET’S MAKE A CONNECTION Laid-back, easygoing, employed SBM, 48, seeks similar SB/WF, 30-60, into music, dining out, spending quality time together.

There’s no need to be lonely! ☎919786 KNOCK-KNOCK, WHO’S THERE? Call me and find out. SWM, 34, Cancer, N/S, loves to tell jokes. Seeking WF, 25-39, N/S, for friendship and relationships. ☎775609 LET’S HOOK UP 34-year-old SBM, 5’9”, 180lbs, Aquarius, nurse, bald head, new to area, open-minded, fun-loving, hopeless romantic. Seeking woman who loves to be romanced. ☎849401 Men Seeking Men

BOY NEXT DOOR SAM, 27, 5’9”, 147lbs, Sagittarius, smoker, seeks WM, 25-45, who enjoys fun times and a true friendship. ☎456425 YOU NEVER KNOW Fun-loving, easygoing GWM, 51, 5’11”, 198lbs, enjoys cooking, movies, fishing, walking. Seeking interesting GWM, 18-33, who’s full of life, for casual relationship, possibly more. ☎676662 LET’S MEET FOR COFFEE Good-looking GWM, 36, 6’, 200lbs, muscular, tan, enjoys working out, yard work, spending time with my dogs. Looking for attractive SM, 32-48, for dating, maybe leading to LTR. ☎436231 ME IN A NUTSHELL WM, 18, brown/blue, medium build, looking for fun, outgoing, energetic guy, 18-30, for movies, hanging out, quiet evenings at home, and more. Friends first, maybe becoming serious. ☎425471 LET’S GET CRAZY SWM, 35, 6’1”, with green eyes, is in search of a man to get together with, and share good times. ☎384239 NICE PERSONALITY A MUST SM, 29, 5’7’’, moustache and goatee, seeks down-to-earth, nice, masculine, real man, 27-30, for friends, possible LTR. ☎280741 SEEKING THE REAL THING BM, 32, 5’8”, 200lbs, enjoys reading, cooking, dining out, movies, spending quality time at home. Seeking WM, 25-35, who has similar interests, and wants a long-term, monogamous relationship. ☎389698 100% LAID-BACK SBM, 35, 5’11”, brown skin, dark brown eyes, Virgo, smoker, bookworm, loves tv.

Seeking masculine, spontaneous BM, 30-45, smoker. ☎958192

How do you

LOOKING FOR LOVE GWM, 41, 5’8’, 140lbs, Pisces, enjoys fishing, television, wood working, gardening, arts, crafts. Seeking GWM, 25-45, for friendship first, possible LTR. ☎705204 ADVENTURE AWAY Fun, GWM, 46, Virgo, N/S, seeks masculine H/ WM, 25-50, blue collar type, for friendship, dating, possibly more. ☎354941 LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP Senior SWM seeks sincere, honest SWM, 25-45, to share home and lifestyle. Many interests including gardening, cooking, arts and crafts, travel, camping. ☎294303 ENJOYS ALL THAT LIFE HAS GWM, 40, shaved head, goatee, Pisces, smoker, seeks very special, attractive, strong, fun-loving GBM, 30-50, for dating, possible LTR. ☎257126 NASCAR FAN SWM, 38, 6’1”, 190lbs, brown/green, is good-looking and masculine. Seeking a man who is also masculine and enjoys going for drinks and RVing. ☎250111 WHAT’S HAPPENING? SWM, 30, 5’7”, 200lbs, brown/blue, Aries, N/S, seeks BM, 19-35, N/S, outgoing, for friendship first, possible LTR. ☎958402 YOU CAN MAKE MY DAY Male, 60, Cancer, N/S, seeks a WM, 49-65, N/S, for casual relationship. Why not call me? ☎927707 DOESN’T PLAY GAMES Unattached GBM, 41, interested in meeting open-minded, fun-loving, honest, truthful, compassionate and loyal GM for LTR. ☎920995 BE YOURSELF Honest, caring SM, 47, 5’10”, 220lbs, seeks outgoing, ambitious, down-to-earth man, to share friendship, fun times and maybe more. ☎895468 IT’S YOUR CALL GWM, young 46, 5’11”, 200lbs, brown/ brown, masculine, outgoing, enjoys travel, dining out, movies, shopping, Nascar. Would like to meet honest, passionate GM, with similar interests, for dating, possible LTR. Serious inquiries only. ☎792384 I KNOW WHERE IT’S AT SBM, 25, practical yet fun, outgoing, Aquarius, smoker, seeks a masculine, alluring, well-rounded BM, 23-45, smoker, with his priorities in order. ☎695448 BEYOND SWM, 32, 5’11”, 155lbs, light hair, looking for good time with GM, 18-45, ☎966003

,call 1-866-832-4685

Women Seeking Women

ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES SBF, 30, 5’5”, with brown eyes, seeks a woman, 30-36, to hang out with, get to know, and see where it goes. ☎380595 WHY WAIT? SWF, 38, 5’6”,140lbs, short brown hair, easygoing, enjoys playing golf, the beach.

Seeking feminine female, 20-40, to have fun times and more. ☎448489 GOAL ORIENTED Intelligent, happy, attractive SBF, 23, student, seeks similar SBF, 24-40, N/S, for all that life has to offer. ☎411842 LOVES CHILDREN Easygoing, nice SF, 32, looking for someone with the same qualities, 29-39, and a people person. ☎388943 I WON’T LET YOU DOWN Single GBF, 32, mother, non-smoker, looking to become acquainted with a laid-back, sensual GBF, who enjoys quiet times, movies.

Interested? ☎910581 WASTE NO TIME GBF, 36, enjoys dining out, cooking, dining out. Seeking attractive, open-minded, fun, nice GF, 25-45, for friendship and possibly more. ☎965823 OPEN-MINDED CHIC Broken-hearted GWF, 30, Libra, smoker, seeks woman, 20-45, to mend my heart.

Let’s not be afraid of who we are. ☎370110 “EVERYONE’S BEST FRIEND” GWF, 26, 5’6”, medium build, likes watching movies, bowling, hanging out, malls, phone conversations. Seeking fun-loving, seriousminded GWF, 22-35, medium build, for friendship and possibly more. ☎335046 WELL-ROUNDED GWPF, 24, 4’11”, brown/brown, loves animals, movies, dancing, travel, dining out, sports, conversation. Seeking GF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎329740 BEAUTIFUL AND FEMININE GWF, 32, 5’7”, 135lbs, enjoys reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports, music, movies. Seeking GWF, 25-39, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎329063

A REFRESHING CHANGE SWF, 30, Libra, smoker, is hoping to find it in a woman, 25-45. Will show a lot of a affection. ☎307177 AVID READER Quiet SF, 24, part-time student, into all types of music, especially oldies, pets, writing poetry. Seeking a female, 24-40, with same interests. ☎283861 BUILDING A FUTURE Hard-working, mechanically inclined SBF, 46, loves to build and rebuild. Seeing female who prefers the home life and knows what she wants from life. ☎120569 LOOKING FOR LOVE SBF, 32, 140lbs, 5’8”, down-to-earth, likes clubs, movies, and quiet times. Looking for a female, 30-35, with the same interests. If you’re the one, call me. Aiken, South Carolina. ☎113533 LIKE MALLS & MOVIES? Feminine BiBF, 25, 5’4”, 145lbs, short hair, Sagittarius, smoker, loves movies and tv.

Seeking another feminine woman, 18-30, with whom to hang out and chat. ☎958642 OUTGOING FUN WF, 28...

5’3”, medium build, loves movies, putt-putt golf, and bowling. Seeking WF, 25-40, medium build, for fun and friendship. Hope to hear from you soon. ☎958847 MAN FOR ALL SEASONS GBF, 31, 5’6”, brown/brown, Cancer, smoker, enjoys kids, bowling. Seeking open-minded, passionate, understanding GBF, 23-45, for LTR. ☎941850 NO INTRO NEEDED SWF, 39, 5’7”, 145lbs, homeowner, easygoing, selfless, Taurus, smoker, loves movies and bowling. Seeking WF, 35-49, with comparable interests. ☎935299 A GOOD HEART SF, 39, goes to church, works for a living, likes having fun, going on trips. Seeking a similar female, 37-49. ☎780112 SPECIAL FRIENDSHIP Attractive, feminine SWF, 41, 5’4”, seeks a very open-minded WF, 35-48, for fun and exciting times. ☎775074 JOIN ME GBF, 32, nurse, part-time student, Capricorn, N/S, enjoys bowling, movies, shopping, traveling. Seeking casual relationship with woman, 25-45. ☎711628 GIVE ME A RING Cute SBF, 30-something, seeks attractive SF, 25-45, for friendship, maybe more. No games. ☎965825

STAND OUT FROM THE CROWD WITH A PERSONAL ICON!

C

HOPE 2 HEAR FROM YOU SF, 28, N/S, down-to-earth, humorous, caring and understanding, passion for dancing, sports, movies. Seeking loving, active CALL FOR LTR late 20s, 5’6”, 140lbs, employed, sports enthusiast looks gentleman, to share the good times in life. ☎347162 SWJF, for a smart SM for LOVING LIFE friendship and more.

SAF, 20, self-employed, home owner, enjoys boating, fishing, parting. Seeking SM, 18-22, N/S, for LTR.

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■ Automotive Spirit

51 M E T R O

Free Automotive Ads

S P I R I T M A Y 2 2

Brought to you by The Metropolitan Spirit Cars 1975 MG MIDGET, red, needs work, $500 OBO, 706774-6702 (1090/0529) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1981 CADILLAC EL Dorado, very good condition, V8, auto, $1400 or trade for work truck or van, 706-860-6409 after 5pm (1115/0619) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1983 MERCURY GRAND Marquis, 2dr, auto, PS, PB, good condition, $750, 706739-0814 (1097/0605) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1987 BMW 525i, gray, automatic, power everything, CD, 195K, nice, just needs driveshaft work, $1200, 706-8551639 (1080/0515) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1988 HONDA CRX, auto, 140K actual, fair condition, $500, Patrick F. 706-364-8156 (1114/0619) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1988 HONDA PRELUDE, 5spd, CD, good condition, $950 OBO, 706-738-3167 leave message (1076/0515) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1990 CHEVROLET CELEBRITY Wagon, 48K original miles, cold AC, new tires & exhaust, $2750, 706-731-0450 (1092/0529) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1990 CHEVROLET CORSICA LT, blue, runs great, cold AC, fair condition, 130K $1300 OBO, 706-823-4205

(1078/0515) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1991 PONTIAC SUNBIRD, red, convertible, good on gas, 4 cyl, 64K original miles, $2950, 706-832-6397 (1088/0529) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1992 BMW 525i, 160.5K, runs great, all power, new tires & more only $5900, 706-4959900 (1081/0529) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1993 VOLVO 940, white, 4dr sedan, 149K, auto, 2WD, AC, leather seats, anti-lock brakes, memory seats, full power, sunroof, cruise, excellent condition, new tires, recent overhaul and tune up with new wires and plugs, $5900, 706-2846809 (1102/0612) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1994 LEXUS SC 400, the finest of luxury sports coupes.

77K, loaded and perfect condition, $14,800, 706-364-7899 (1094/0605) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1995 TOYOTA COROLLA, white, blue interior, 4dr, am/fm cassette, AC, new tires, $4200, 706-228-3567 (1103/0612) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1995 VW JETTA III GLS, gold/beige, auto, 4dr, 106K, alloy wheels, sunroof, heated seats, dual airbags, $4500, 706-863-9324 or 706-7712215 (1098/0605) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1996 CHEVROLET CAMERO RS, bright red, JVC-CD, Pioneer speakers, new Eagle-

GA, well kept, runs great, 143K, power locks, $4700 cash, 706-640-2117 (1104/0612) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1996 PONTIAC GRAND Prix GTP, white, 2dr, 3/4L, V6, 4spd, 22 mpg avg, LCD heads up display, good tire & mechanical, clean, well maintained, $5500, Jim 706-5477878 or 706-339-1800 (1101/0612) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 ACURA 3.2TL, Premium, loaded, great ride, new tires, remote keyless entry, power locks & windows, AC, climate control system, Bose radio/cassette/CD, remote sunroof, $10,900, 803279-8326 (993/0515) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 ACURA TL Premium, metallic brown, 135K highway miles, luxury sedan with no problems, all options, $7700, 706-364-7899 (1095/0605) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 CHEVROLET MONTE Carlo, red, excellent condition, $4999, 706-738-2530 or 706294-7922 (1083/0529) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 TOYOTA COROLLA, 86K, 5spd, AC, am/fm, CD, great student car, $4000 OBO, 706-790-4396 or 706-3736073 (1093/0529) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1998 LEXUS ES300 black/ivory leather, loaded with moonroof, and CD changer, 63K, $14,800, 803-278-3491 or 803-294-1040 (1105/0612)

–––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 CHEVROLET CAMARO, V6, auto, PL, PW, CD, cruise, t-tops, 59K, excellent condition, w/Car Fax report, $11,500 OBO, 706-556-2678 after 6pm (1113/0619) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 BMW 330i, white, new tires, 4dr, 41K, sunroof, loaded, 706-737-3534 or 706394-4681 (1082/0529) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 FORD TAURUS Station wagon, white/grey interior, all power, local owner, serviced

by Bobby Jones Ford, excellent condition, $14,700, 706722-1521 (1099/0612)

Motorcycles KAWASAKI 4 WHEELER, new mounted CB radio and dog box, $2400, 912-8294556 (1106/0612) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1994 HONDA GOLDWING Aspencade 1500, burgundy, 63K, reverse cruise, compressor, garaged, excellent condition, 706-791-1627, eve/weekend 706-951-8013 or 706-650-5917 (1091/0529) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 HONDA RANCHER 4 wheeler, 2WD, gun rack, great for hunting or just having some fun in the mud, excellent condition, $3300 negotiable, 706210-0342 or 706-339-2564 (1116/0626) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 SUZUKI BANDIT 1200,

latest model, like new, 3,400 miles, just serviced, very powerful, radar detector, must sell, $5000, 706-284-6809 (1084/0529)

Other WINDSURFING Mistral Competition with straps, 2 sails, mast & boom, $475 complete, 706-284-6809 (1086/0529) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– WINDSURFING Trailer, lockable, carries 4 boards plus lots of equipment $350, 706-2846809 (1087/0529) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1982 VW VANAGON Westfalia Camper, sink, stove, refrigerator, CD, sleeps 4, everything rebuilt, #3995, 706-733-7613 (1111/0619) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1992 TOYOTA NATIONAL motor home, 22 ft, immaculate, generator, new tires, low miles, front/rear air, stored in garage, $16,700, 803-2798356 (1109/0612)

SUVs 1992 FORD BRONCO XL, 69K, 4WD, cold AC, stereo, 302, V8, auto, auto hubs, Wranglers, step bumper, nonsmoker, excellent condition, $6750, 706-731-0493 (1110/06190 –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 FORD EXPEDITION,

CHECK US OUT ONLINE WWW.METSPIRIT.COM

green, tan interior, 2WD, leather, 6 CD changer, 3rd seat, rear air, excellent condition, $16,300, 706-284-4592 or 706-854-9194 (1077/0515)

Trucks 1987 FORD F150, 1 year old rebuilt motor, new tires, $2500 OBO, call 912-8294556 (1089/0529) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 TOYOTA TACOMA, 5spd, AC, cassette, bedliner, 67K, clean, very good condition, $9500 negotiable, 706737-0842 (1112/0619)

Vans 1977 VW VAN, 35K original miles, new am/fm/cd, great condition, could be your groovy ride, $3500, 706-5950635 (1096/0605) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 FORD WINDSTAR GL, dark red, gray cloth, auto, stereo, 3.8 V6, AC, tilt, cruise, power windows, 149K, $3600 OBO, 706-860-5001 (1107/0612) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 CHEVROLET VENTURE LT, excellent condition, 75K, front/rear air, am/fm/cass/cd stereo, 4 captains chairs, all power, $13,000, 706-592-9144 (1108/0612)

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Pardon Our Dust!

This weekend, the heavy machinery will be replaced with our full line of brand new 2003 (and some 2004) VW and Audis!

We invite you to come see us!

Open Memorial Day!

David & Andy Jones

Gerald Jones Volkswagen/Audi 706-738-2561 Located in the former Columbia Square Shopping Center in Martinez