Metro Spirit 05.27.2004 by Metro Spirit

May 27-June 2 Vol. 15 No. 43

Drag Strip

Augustaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Independent Voice

Dreams

>> Drive-By Truckers p. 38 Bikini Watch p. 20

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METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

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One of the Top 100 Hospitals in the Nation MCG is the only hospital in the region to achieve this distinction.

Leading the region. Leading the nation.

13 of America’s Top Doctors MCG is the only hospital in the region to have physicians named to this list.

Winner – 2003 Consumer Choice Award MCG was awarded hospital of choice in the Augusta re g i o n .

MCG Medical Center is the only hospital in the region to be named one of the 100 Top Hospitals® in the nation by Solucient and we are the only area hospital whose medical staff includes physicians ranked as America’s Top Doctors, year after year. We also have the honor of being chosen by you, the consumer, as your preferred hospital. MCG is committed to making a positive impact in the region by providing the highest level of care and being a national leader in research and advanced treatments. But it takes more than a hospital to achieve these goals. It takes an academic medical center to provide the latest technology, conduct the research that leads to cures and attract a world-class medical staff that is committed to being on the forefront of medicine. Better technology. Better treatment. Better physicians. MCG delivers nationally ranked care close to home.

Tomorrow’s Medicine, Here Today.

Medical College of Georgia Health System, Augusta GA

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

The physicians of MCG Health System are community physicians and faculty employees of the Medical College of Georgia and the Physicians Practice Group, not employees of MCG Health Inc.

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METRO SPIRIT ON THE COVER 14

Drag Strip Dreams

By Stacey Eidson

Contents

MAY 27-JUNE 2 • FREE WEEKLY • METROSPIRIT.COM

Cover Photo: Brian Neill Cover Design: Natalie Holle

FEATURE 20

Bikini Watch

By Christina Waters

OPINION 6 Whine Line 6 This Modern World 6 Words 8 Thumbs Up/Down 10 Insider

CINEMA 32 Flix 35 Kate Hudson Discusses Her New Roles — On- and Off-Screen Mom 36 “The Day After Tomorrow” Proves Refreshing 37 Reel Time

METRO 12 Surplus Sales Tax Money Found

MUSIC 38 Drive-By Truckers … The Dirty South Will Rise Again 40 Practice Makes Progression for Distal 41 Sightings 42 CD Reviews 43 Music Minis 43 Music by Turner 44 After Dark

BITE 24 How Well Do You Know Your Food? 25 In the Mix ENTERTAINMENT 26 ‘Experience’ Puts You in the Driver’s Seat EVENTS 28 Calendar

EDITOR & PUBLISHER David Vantrease ASSISTANT TO THE PUBLISHER Dee Ramp ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Rhonda Jones ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT ASSISTANT Andy Stokes STAFF WRITERS Stacey Eidson, Brian Neill

STUFF 47 Brezsny’s Free Will Astrology 47 New York Times Crossword Puzzle 48 News of the Weird 48 Amy Alkon: Advice Goddess 49 Datemaker 51 Classifieds

ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Joe White ADVERTISING SALES SUPPORT Riali Blackstock PRODUCTION MANAGER Joe Smith GRAPHIC ARTISTS Ange Hagler, Natalie Holle, Shawn Sutherland

ACCOUNTING MANAGER/CLASSIFIEDS Sharon King SENIOR MUSIC CONTRIBUTOR Ed Turner CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Amy Alkon, Rob Brezsny, Rachel Deahl, David Elliott, Amy Fennell Christian CARTOONISTS Tom Tomorrow

Metro Spirit is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks of the year. Editorial coverage includes arts, local issues, news, entertainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publishers. Visit us at www.metrospirit.com. Copyright © Metro Spirit, Inc. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. Phone: (706) 738-1142 Fax: (706) 733-6663 E-mail: spirit@metrospirit.com Letters to the Editor: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, Ga. 30914-3809

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METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

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OPINION

Whine Line

hat are the chances that when George Kolb leaves we can make it a package deal and send Bob Young with him? Maybe Bob will quit or be recalled and we can get a real mayor who at least has a college degree. I just want to remind all the college students out there who are receiving scholarships that they must reapply in order to get it for another year. Even if the acceptance letter says that the scholarship will automatically be renewed for a second year (or third, etc.) if certain requirements are met (such as keeping a certain GPA), and the student meets these requirements, if the student does not reapply now he or she will not receive the remainder of the scholarship. The college won’t notify the student that this is necessary. This is especially true if the scholarship is issued by the college itself. Re: “Bomb With Sarin Nerve Agent Explodes in Iraq.” There you have it folks: WMD! Apparently we will gradually find more of these horrific weapons in time! Do we have that time? Break out the thumbscrews and rubber hoses! OK Saddam! Where are they? Seems Judge Kernaghan’s court decisions are under attack from the ACLU and the ABA. The ACLU wants “under God” removed from the pledge of allegiance. Years before the Berlin wall fell, the ABA sponsored field trips to Russia so American lawyers could study the Soviet system of “legal justice.” Apparently the judge just doesn’t suit the liberal agenda. I am a single mother of one child. I work a part-time job and go to school. I am divorced and receive no child support. I also do not get “grants” or any other funding for my education. I have to pay back loans. Anyway, I went to the grocery store the other night and bought a cheap pack of hot dogs, some bread and

store-brand soup. That is all I could afford. In front of me was a lady that bought $350 worth of groceries. This included baby back ribs, tons of other meats, chips, Mountain Dew and numerous other things that I could never even think about buying. I paid cash with my hard-earned money. I also helped pay for her food indirectly because she paid with food stamps. America! Land of the free. I don’t get it. I wasn’t free to park my speedboat in my driveway, but had to put it behind my house. I wasn’t free to put my child in the school I liked. My birthday party was interrupted by the police, because there were too many guests in my yard. I am not free to ride my dirt bike on the road; I have to buy a motorcycle. My privacy fence was too high; I had to tear it down. I wasn’t free to build the addition to my house; I had to buy permission. I can’t buy a beer without an ID. The windows on my car are too dark. I could actually end up in jail for parking my car downtown. My wife can’t open her daycare cause the government doesn’t like what that will do to the neighborhood. If I joyride in a different neighborhood the police are called to follow me until I leave. I could go on and on. So if we sing, America land of restrictions, I would sing along. But America land of the free: I don’t get it! In today’s economy, one has to wonder why are the gas prices skyrocketing? Can it be the war in Iraq or could it be the huge V8 gas-guzzling vehicles? Personally I think the SUV sales are skyrocketing these gas prices and not the war in Iraq. They need to start selling hybrids. What are the Columbia County commissioners thinking? They want a five-year sales tax for $69 million and to issue $22.8 million in bonds for a dream list of special-interest goodies. The voters would have to be nuts to agree with such

Words “Our review ... disclosed problems with all 25 [randomly audited contracts]. As a result, there was no assurance that the district received the goods and services contracted for, (no assurance) that payments were made in accordance with contract terms and (no assurance) that sole-source awards and other vendor selections were made in compliance with regulations.” — Excerpt in the Washington Times from a recently released report from the Washington, D.C., inspector general detailing alleged improprieties in handling millions of dollars worth of contracts when the city’s fire department and Emergency Medical Services Department were under the direction of Augusta’s former fire chief, Ronnie Few. Among the report’s findings, as reported in the Times: an unidentified public information employee with the department spent $5,000 on food in Maryland and Virginia grocery stores and at wholesale clubs and a steak shop; $12,829 was used by the department to cater an EMS Week event and to pay for the department’s annual picnic (the catering costs were split into increments of $2,000 to bypass spending limits); and petty cash funds were used for unauthorized purchases. Interesting. a dream list. So far all the “leaders” have brought us are higher taxes, gridlock and flooding problems. This tax-and-spend mentality validates the need to replace all the commissioners and Szblewski too. George Kolb is still available and could certainly bring some sanity to the county with good ideas that would not require giving away the farm. Why are the Columbia County commissioners even considering $3,000 per month in rent for the Georgia Motor Vehicle Office? The operative word is “Georgia”; hence, the state of Georgia should pay the

rent not the county property owners/taxpayers. I think the commissioners get more stupid every day! If you are tired of the high prices at the pumps maybe it is time you stop voting for the environmental whackos who refuse to let us drill for our own oil on our own soil (which would make us less dependent on the Middle East) and the politicians who insist on putting hidden taxes on the gas pumps … their hidden agenda is to run our economy and bring our country to its knees economically.

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

continued on page 8

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Thumbs Up To the downtown business owners and activists who put in their two cents about removing Broad Street’s unique parking bays, as initially proposed in a streetscaping plan: The bays are an asset and identifying trademark of downtown that sets it apart from other cities. Thankfully, The Augusta Chronicle reported, the company over-

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Our good old corporate pal and benefactor, Wal-Mart, which is depicted in recent sappy TV commercials as providing health care options for the majority of its employees (actually, a recent report said a disproportionate number of them in Georgia were on PeachCare) and being the saving grace of communities (oftentimes, whether they like it or not), has gotten $1 billion in public money nationally, and $19 million from the state of Georgia, since 1987,

continued from page 6 Hate to say it but I think it’s time we nationalize the oil business. Take away the power of greedy companies who are just looking out for a few shareholders. I stopped buying cigarettes, candy and other stuff from the gas stations months ago. Gas prices are outrageous! Some of the blame goes to OPEC but most goes to the greedy American refineries! The solution … a new fuel source. It’s out there, trust me. Would the real John Kerry and John McCain please stand up, as soon as they decide who they are?

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

This is to the person who is “appalled” at the restaurant and shopping selections here in Augusta. Really! Do you honestly need that many choices? I can name 20 restaurants off of the top of my head right now. Twenty! That is 20 different places to eat. How much more do you need? For God’s sake man, go to the grocery store and cook your own meal. Or better yet, move to Athens or Savannah. That’s just one less spoiled brat we’ll have to deal with here.

seeing the streetscape plan, responding to comments calling to leave the bays intact, may no explore other options. The bays have been criticized as being difficult to navigate in and out of, but these remarks likely come from people who find it hard to make it out of their own driveways in the morning. Don’t tear up Broad Street.

About 14 percent beer going to increase DUIs? If it’s 3 percent, 4 percent or whatever it won’t stop you from buying more. It will just make me buy more. Peace. Go ahead — don’t buy burgers, fries, gum, beer, doughnuts, pizza or valuable artwork at your convenience store. It won’t hurt them. Put your kids in the car

according to an article in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution. A Wal-Mart spokesman told the newspaper that the company has given back much in return — $4 billion in property taxes, $192 million in income and unemployment taxes and $52 billion in sales taxes throughout the nation, for instance. But with sales reportedly exceeding $256 billion last year, Wal-Mart shouldn’t have to rely on taxpayer handouts and community concessions.

and treat yourself to a full-service gas station. There is a BP on Central and a Chevron on Wheeler. Let the kids watch the man look under the hood, clean the windshields, check the tires. Safety is no joke. I may have blue hair but I am not dumb. I don’t need the Atkins or South Beach. Blue hair has traded with these local stations for years — you can even get a tire fixed. Think of this as a spa for your car. Just because you disagree with another person’s opinion doesn’t make them an idiot. Of course I’m sure you’re the smartest person in the world. At least that’s what your mama told you and everybody knows Mama wouldn’t lie. This high gas price trend is the best thing to happen to this country since the last industrial age. I hope it hits $4 a gallon. Why? Because it will force everyone to realize we need to find a better source of energy and not depend on mid-east, midocean, and Alaskan oil. Who knows? This could be a plan to set up the sheep-minded American public for the transition.

Call our Whine Line at 510-2051 and leave your comments. We won’t use your name. Fax your whines by dialing (706) 733-6663 or e-mail your whines to whine@metrospirit.com.

Stroke, also known as a “brain attack,” interrupts blood flow to the brain, starving the brain of oxygen and affecting its ability to function. Suddenly, you may be unable to do the simplest things, such as tie your shoe or read a book. The symptoms of stroke are subtle, so someone having a stroke may seem confused or disoriented

Stroke attacks the brain.

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The brain attacks the body.

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MCG – The area’s leader for stroke care Stroke is a medical emergency. That’s why our Stroke Team is available 24 hours a day for accurate diagnosis and prompt treatment, which greatly reduces your chance of having permanent disability. MCG’s Neuroscience Center is a nationally recognized leader in quality stroke care and serves as a model for stroke centers nationwide. If you suspect someone is having a stroke, get him or her to a hospital as soon as possible. For more information about stroke and stroke prevention, call 721-CARE or visit our website at MCGHealth.org.

Tomorrow’s Medicine, Here Today.

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

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OPINION

Insider

Can’t We All Just Get Along?

he recent brouhaha over Richmond (Dave Barbee), Columbia (Lee Muns), and Burke County (Amanda Stone), Republican Party heads calling for interviews of Superior Court Judge candidates may be over before it really gets started. As reported in The Insider last week, local Republicans have made a practice of not endorsing candidates in non partisan races. But personal feelings are apparently running high in the Superior Court Judge race between Richmond County solicitor Sheryl Jolly, attorney Sherry Barnes, and attorney Walter Metts. In an obvious attempt to paint Jolly as a partisan Democrat, the Republican Party folks mentioned above arranged interviews with the judicial candidates as part of an endorsement process. Anyway, many Republicans who support Jolly didn’t like it much and the situation created a few days of controversy within the local party. Sources close to the situation report the interviews lived up to their advanced billing and that it was obvious the target was Jolly. Insiders report that the questioners spent almost an hour with Jolly, asking tough questions while tossing softball questions in their thirty minutes with Barnes. Since most, if not all, of the people questioning the candidates don’t consider Metts a serious candidate, his session was brief and unproductive. Now that the party chairs have had their interviews and those who opposed Republican endorsements in the non-partisan race have vented their opposition, most local Republicans want the issue to just go away. The original plan was to take the results of the interviews back to the executive committees of the counties involved. They may still do that but there is little likelihood an endorsement will be forthcoming. This issue appears to be dead on arrival.

Can’t Keep Up Without a Scorecard Consider this: • Former Columbia County Commissioner and past supporter of state Sen. Joey Brush, Jim Whitehead, is running against Brush in the Republican primary election. At a recent Whitehead fund-raiser, former Columbia County Commissioner Frank Spears was sitting with Columbia County Commissioner — Steve Brown who defeated Spears in a bitter battle when Spears ran for re-election. Spears was there in support of Whitehead who helped orchestrate the defeat of Spears at the hands of Brown. • Columbia County Sheriff Clay Whittle has been a long-time supporter of Brush, until now. Whittle’s visible support of Whitehead has Brush supporters bristling and many who supported Whittle in the past vow to vote for Lewis Blanchard who is running against Whittle in the sheriff’s race. Whitehead was Whittle’s campaign chairman prior to announcing his candidacy against Brush. Prior to announcing his candidacy, Brush says Whitehead told him he wasn’t running. • Long-time politico Candi Sprague, who helped get Sheriff Clay Whittle elected, is now a paid staffer for Columbia County sheriff candidate Lewis Blanchard, who is running against Whittle. • Finally, Columbia County Commission Chairman Ron Cross claims to be uninvolved in the commission race between incumbent Diane Ford and challenger Greg Kernaghan but most Columbia County politicos know Cross doesn’t support Ford. Plus, Cross’s son-in-law is the chairman of Kernaghan’s campaign committee. Columbia County politics is looking just about as wacky as Richmond County these days. Help! The views expressed in this column are the views of The Insider and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

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METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

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METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

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METRO BEAT

Commission

Surplus Sales Tax Money Found

By Stacy Eidson

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

hile the Augusta Commission is holding weekly meetings to discuss which local projects should be presented to voters on the upcoming ballot for Phase V of the sales tax, the city’s internal auditor revealed this week that commissioners may want to consider spending past sales tax money before they hit citizens up for more. On May 24, J.T. Cosnahan, a partner in the Baird & Co. accounting firm, informed the commission’s finance committee that the city still has millions of dollars of unspent Special Purpose Local Option Sales Tax (SPLOST) money dating back as far as 1988. According to Cosnahan’s report, the city began collecting the first phase of sales tax in January 1988. Phase I and II of the sales tax collections were for four years each. Since then, Phase III and IV were each collected over a five-year period. Phase IV collections are set to end in December 2005. “Phase I was collected from 1988 to 1991,” Cosnahan said, presenting the commission with a list of projects funded within that first phase of sales tax. The majority of the projects were completed, but a few items, including work on Stevens Creek Road, Rocky Creek Tributary and Barton Chapel Road, still had a total of $770,373 available in their sales tax accounts to complete work on them. But even more surprising was the fact that Cosnahan stated Phase I of the sales tax currently has more than $3.6 million of “undesignated or unbudgeted” money in its account that could be available for roads, streets and bridges projects. “What you’ve got left as far as available funds to be designated for increased costs of these (Phase I) projects or either for new projects is $3,688,500,” Cosnahan said. “Now, our suggestion is to leave $688,500 in contingency for increased project costs since you’ve still got $770,000 worth of work to do, but that you could redesignate $3 million out of SPLOST I.” Commissioners were stunned. Cosnahan had apparently just “found” them $3 million for much-needed public works projects. But City Administrator George Kolb cautioned the commission not to get too excited. He informed the finance committee that $2 million of that $3 million is put into a reserve for what he called, “future maintenance” of specific roads and bridges projects. Kolb told the commission that former City Attorney Jim Wall said the $2 million could not be used to repair just any public works project.

“I was told, ‘No money. No Money. No money.’ And now I see there is $524,447 allocated in Phase I. What happened here?” — Augusta Commissioner Richard Colclough

“You can’t go out and just start filling in potholes,” Kolb said. “I believe that money is supposed to be used strictly for those projects in Phase I, but we really need to take a hard look at that.” Augusta Commissioner Richard Colclough couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw that there was money remaining in the Phase I sales tax account for the Barton Chapel Road project. “I look on this list, and I see Barton Chapel Road, and it says it is 65-percent completed. It says there is $524,000 remaining,” Colclough said, adding that the city recently had to borrow money from another sales tax project to begin work currently needed on Barton Chapel Road. “I was told, ‘No money. No Money. No money.’ And now I see there is $524,447 allocated in Phase I. What happened here? “Can anybody answer me that?” Public Works Director Teresa Smith said that Cosnahan’s report is referring to Phase I of the Barton Chapel Road project. “The project that we have currently underway is Barton Chapel Road Phase II,” Smith said. “The reason that the Barton Chapel Road Phase I had not been closed out and these funds have not been put anywhere else is because this was a joint-effort project between the public works depart-

ment and the utilities department.” Smith said the sales tax funds for the project, including expenditures for the utilities along that road, were paid out of the public works’ budget. “Utilities was working with the finance department to repay those funds and get all of this closed out so that we could utilize those funds and apparently that has taken place,” Smith said. “Or at least, according to this report, it has.” Colclough told Smith that he didn’t care what phase of the Barton Chapel Road project the city was currently working on, only that a few weeks ago his department needed money for the project and he was informed funding was not available. “You still had money for Barton Chapel Road,” Colclough said to Smith. “Whether it’s Phase I, Phase II, Phase III, it’s the same road that hasn’t been completed. So, you didn’t know that money was there?” “I just got this report today,” Smith replied. Cosnahan also informed the commission that, according to the records supplied to him by the finance department, the city still has more than $6.7 million of undesignated funds available in the Phase II SPLOST account which was collected from 1992 to 1995. “Our recommendation here is to set aside at least $2 million for contingency,”

Cosnahan said. “That leaves $4,750,000 that is available for new projects.” As for SPLOST Phase III, which was collected from 1996 to 2000, there were still a number of projects that had yet to be completed. “The estimated cost to complete unfinished approved projects is $44,283,648,” Cosnahan said. “This leaves you with undesignated funds for SPLOST III of $4,962,096. Our suggestion for SPLOST III is, you do not allocate any of these undesignated funds because you’ve still got about $40 million in uncompleted projects and you’ve only got $4,900,000 for contingency.” Cosnahan told the commission he was still working on his report for Phase IV SPLOST collections, but he warned the commission that it didn’t appear the city would have much, if any, undesignated money left over once the scheduled projects were completed. “In SPLOST IV you have about $61 million invested, or sitting in the bank so to speak,” Cosnahan said. “But your uncompleted projects total something like $65 million. So, SPLOST IV is looking like it will be a deficit.” In order to get a better understanding of which sales tax projects were completed and exactly how much undesignated money the city actually has, the finance committee voted to schedule a future workshop that would include members of the public works department, the finance department, the commission, the city attorney and the internal auditor. Augusta Commissioner Don Grantham suggested that, during that meeting, all of the parties involved in past sales tax projects could compare notes in order to develop a final SPLOST report for the commission. Grantham added that he found it somewhat “disturbing” that the city still had so much unspent sales tax money available. “I was involved with the first SPLOST campaign that we had, the first two as a matter of fact,” Grantham said. “And I’m looking at this, 14 or 15 years later, and I’m seeing uncompleted projects. And it bothers me to think that we have collected this money and sold additional SPLOST programs and have not completed the previous ones that we’ve had. “Now, I think we have an excellent program in our SPLOST. The facilities that have been provided with the first four phases I think are outstanding. We never could have raised that type of money. But I’m of the opinion that, before we start new projects, we need to start finishing some.”

Actions speak louder than words.

2003 Market leader for cancer treatment*

2001 Preferred hospital for cancer treatment** 2002 Preferred hospital for cancer treatment** 2003 Preferred hospital for cancer treatment**

For the third consecutive year, MCG was chosen by consumers as the preferred hospital for cancer treatment in the annual survey conducted by National Research Corporation. But actions speak louder than words. While MCG was the stated choice for cancer treatment, more patients were actually treated at our Cancer Center than at any other area hospital in 2003. Not only would patients prefer to come to MCG for cancer treatment, they actually do. As the region’s only academic medical center, we offer the most comprehensive cancer care in the area. We are nationally recognized for cancer research and innovative diagnostic and treatment procedures. And we are committed to providing community-based health education and prevention programs that improve the lives of children and adults. Thank you, Augusta, for recognizing MCG as your choice for the best cancer care in the region.

Tomorrow’s Medicine, Here Today.

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

*Georgia Discharge Data Set (GDDS), GHA, April 2004. **NRC Healthcare Marketing Guide ® 2001–2003

Medical College of Georgia Health System, Augusta GA

Drag Strip

Dreams

By Stacey Eidson Photos by Brian Neill

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

s a 1968 Chevy Camaro with a big block engine pulls into the right lane of the quarter-mile track at Carolina Dragway in Jackson, S.C., a deep rumbling begins. It’s Thursday Grudge Night at the dragway and the track’s six staging lanes are bumper-to-bumper with amateur dragsters feverishly awaiting their turn to face the next challenger. In the left-hand lane, another Camaro, this one black, lunges immediately toward the concrete starting line, ready to race, but the 1968 Camaro, with a white top and red doors, pauses a moment and rolls backward. Chicken?

Not a chance. The driver of the 1968 Camaro has decided to put on a show. Within seconds, the car’s wheels are screeching and a large plume of white smoke comes billowing from the back. The crowd in the dragway’s bleachers rise to their feet, whistling and hollering, completely oblivious to the strong smell of burning rubber filling the air. It’s clear that this driver is trying to warm up more than just his tires. He wants the crowd’s full attention. The 1968 Camaro thrusts forward to the starting line as a booming voice from the PA system announces, “And

driving the white Camaro is Marion Williams from Augusta.” That’s right. Augusta Commissioner Marion Williams, known by his critics as Mr. Reckless himself, is behind the wheel and set to race. Both cars vibrate wildly as the drivers anxiously watch for the green light. Suddenly, the light changes and Williams hits the throttle. His Camaro roars as its front wheels lift several inches off the ground. The two cars thunder down the track. Ten seconds later, the race is over. The track’s timing system and scoreboard immediately light up, and even with a false start by the black

Camaro, Augusta’s District 2 commissioner, who’s a local reverend to boot, easily takes the race. Back at the grassy pit area, Williams is all smiles. The commission and the church are Williams’ life, but drag racing is clearly his love. “I do pretty good for coming out of the back yard,” Williams said, patting the side of his Camaro. “I built my own motor and I never took mechanics. I just learned by having a love for old cars and I started tinkering with them when I got out of high school in 1967. And I got good at it.” Peeking out of the 1968 Camaro’s continued on page 16

But being prepared can give you a head start. Heart disease is the leading killer of women. So being informed and knowing how to recognize the signs of a heart attack are important, but not enough. It’s also essential that you seek medical treatment within one hour of symptom onset. This is when drugs and other treatments will be most effective. Women’s HeartAdvantage™ is a program offered by University Health Care System and their community partners. It was designed to help you learn more about the specific signs and symptoms women exhibit, and how important it is to act quickly if you experience them. This is especially important if you are among the 93 percent of women right here in the C.S.R.A. who have at least one risk factor for heart disease. To learn more, talk to your physician or call 706/828-2828 and request a Women’s HeartAdvantage™ Information Kit.

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continued from page 14 hood scoop is a large rubber rat with tiny red eyes. Also on the car’s front side is a sticker of Mighty Mouse and on the bumper is a small sketch of what appears to be a rapper rat. When asked if his car’s mascot was a mouse or a rat, Williams grinned and pointed to his red baseball hat with a rat on the front. “No. no. Rat is the nickname for a Chevy big block engine,” Williams said. “A small block is a mouse. This is a rat.” Very rarely could you find a man so proud to be wearing a rat on his head, but Williams said his love of drag racing began shortly after he purchased his first real race car, a 1964 Plymouth. “When I first started to race, I didn’t know what I was doing,” Williams said, laughing. “I just went out there and hit the gas. But I finally learned the key is, you have to do the same thing every

Johnson, Ned Jarrett, Cale Yarborough and Don Yenko. “At that time, those professional drivers all came here,” Jones said. “After all, Augusta is a great location. If you take a map of the Southeast, Augusta is right smack in the middle. It’s an ideal place for something like that to happen. “And I think that’s what the original developers back in the late ‘50s were thinking about when they built the complex out there.” As a former firefighter, Williams said he would often meet several of the men from his station out at the track after work. “A whole bunch of people from the fire department used to get together and go to the races,” Williams said. “Unfortunately, that track ended up closing and that area ended up building a lot of houses out there. The neighbor-

much money for the city. And what I’m proposing is, we take the money we make from the drag strip and designate those funds to support four or five local entities like the museums or art groups that battle over the budget every year. “So, that’ll be money the taxpayers won’t have to pay out.” Williams acknowledges that there aren’t many city-owned race tracks around the country, but he still believes the idea is feasible. “Now, the track has to have accountability,” Williams said. “We’ll need to have audits done to keep track of the money coming in, but we’ll also have those entities who are designated to receive the funding as the watchdogs. They’ll make sure that the drag strip ain’t losing any money.” After an Internet search of national

“Even if the city partners with somebody, like they want to do with the proposed sports arena, that would work if they guaranteed to pay us $1 million a year out of the track’s profits. I know some private entity will run it because they will make way more than a million dollars a year.” Williams estimated that the Carolina Dragway has to be making at least a $2 million profit each year. “This place is packed every week,” Williams said, looking around at the hundreds of cars parked at the Carolina Dragway. “Just think, everyone here paid $8 a head to get in the gate. And those who race pay $12. Imagine collecting that every Thursday, Friday and Saturday night. And that’s not counting concession sales. I mean, can you imagine the amount of money Augusta would make?”

“What I like about drag racing is everybody loves it, both black and white, young and old, rich and poor. All they care about are the cars. That’s all. Which is the baddest car.” — Augusta Commissioner Marion Williams

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

time you race. I did that and I started winning races. “Back then, there used to be an old race track in Augusta, the Augusta International Speedway, that I would head out to every week.” Henry Jones of Hephzibah is a member of the Augusta International Raceway Preservation Society and is currently organizing a memorial to be placed at the former track’s site at Diamond Lakes Regional Park in September to honor the once-popular racing complex and its drivers. In the 1960s, Jones said, a trip to Augusta’s speedway, which offered several different kinds of tracks including a quarter-mile drag strip and a half-mile oval track, was a big event. “You had some famous people racing out there at the complex such as Fireball Roberts and Richard Petty,” Jones said. Other known racers who made appearances at the track were Junior

hood just started growing.” Williams said he believes that the track eventually became incompatible with the area and was forced to close. “I don’t know what really happened to the track and why it closed, but it was great for Augusta,” Williams said. “People loved it and that’s why I know if I can convince the city to build a new drag strip, it’ll work this time around.” Williams’ Vision from Behind the Wheel Earlier this month, Williams announced during one of the commission’s weekly sales tax meetings that he believes the city should ask voters to support setting aside $1.5 million in Phase V of sales tax funding to go toward constructing a drag strip on property near Augusta Regional Airport that the city already owns. “Savannah has one. Atlanta has one. And Augusta needs one,” Williams said. “It would make so

drag strips, The Metro Spirit could find only one race track, the Pueblo Motorsports Park, that was solely owned by a local government. However, other facilities across the nation have been given financial help from city governments. For example, in 1995, the Metro-Dade Motorsports Complex located outside Miami, Fla., was provided more than $31 million from an existing hotel room tax to go toward the track’s ultimate $80 million cost. Also, for years, the former Nashville Speedway was governed by a municipal body known as the Metro Fair Board, while the track was being privately managed. According to The Tennessean, the Metro Fair Board used to receive 50 percent of the track’s profits under the operating agreement and those funds helped pay for the annual Tennessee State Fair. “It can be done. This city just needs to start thinking bigger,” Williams said.

Racing Across the River Jeff Miles Jr. and his family have owned the Carolina Dragway since 1985 and have made extraordinary improvements to the track since it first opened in 1957. In fact, in 2002, the Carolina Dragway won the International Hot Rod Association’s Track of the Year Award. “It’s a wonderful business,” Miles said from his office in Jackson, where he serves as the city’s fire chief. “But we don’t take a lot of money out of the race track. We put it all back in to keep doing upgrades. “Like, recently we’ve done a lot more paving and totally redone the racing surface. We installed all new computer systems and we have plans this winter to build a new tower and install more bleachers.” Currently, the track has a three-story control tower that stands directly behind the staging lanes. The track also boasts

Calendar of Events Williams’ proposal, the city needs to sit down and review all that is involved in developing a race track. “I think it would generate revenue for the city because I used to go to the track all the time,” Hankerson said. “But there’s a much bigger picture to it than just saying, ‘We’re going to do it.’ “If we are going to allocate this money, I think we need to know whether it could be a reality as far as the expenses involved, the insurance, everything.” While the ultimate price tag of developing a track is still a key question that needs to be answered, there is another major concern City Attorney Steve Shepard has about Williams’ proposal. “I haven’t researched it and I don’t want to pour cold water on Marion’s enthusiasm,” Shepard said, “but I would just say, anytime you deal with automobiles, like we have a lot of city vehicles on the street, you’ve got a potential liability situation there. So, that’s my concern.” Augusta Commissioner Tommy Boyles agreed, fast cars and thousands of people in close proximity can be a dangerous combination. “As the former recreation director, I can say I think there’s a lot of liability there,” Boyles said. “I don’t have any objections to looking into it and seeing what it would cost, but the insurance would be astronomical.” At the Carolina Dragway, Miles said there are only three things that drivers must have before they are allowed to race at the track: a helmet, a seat belt and a valid driver’s license. Motorcycle racers must also wear ankle protection, gloves and a heavyweight jacket. City Administrator George Kolb said commissioners should proceed with extreme caution if they agree to allocate money to build a drag strip. “It’s like everything else we do. We should do a feasibility study and make sure it makes sense from a market standpoint,” Kolb said. “And when the commission decides to go forward with that kind of feasibility study, all the questions should be asked. We would need to know what we were getting into. But a majority of the commission would have to vote for a feasibility study to be conducted. “I don’t think one commissioner can order that to be done.” The Road Ahead Regardless of some of his skeptics, Williams is convinced that a city-owned drag strip would work in Augusta. “What I like about drag racing is everybody loves it, both black and white, young and old, rich and poor. All they care about are the cars,” continued on page 18

Saturday, June 19, 2004

Sheraton Augusta Hotel, 10am – 3pm

Presented By

Community Ed

Growing Into Womanhood*

Saturday, June 5, 10 am – 12 pm

This class is for girls ages 13-16, along their mothers or a female relative. Sexuality, peer pressure, substance abuse and confident decision making skills will be taught and discussed. Please call 651-2229 to register.

Diabetes Support Group

Tuesday, June 8, 6 pm Location: Doctors Hospital, Office Building III, Classrooms 4 & 5

An educational seminar offered the second Tuesday every other month for the person with diabetes and his/her family members.Call 651-2468 to register.

Growing Into Adolescence*

Saturday, June 12, 9 am – 12 pm

This is a class for Boys ages 9-12, along with their father, or a male relative, where they will receive information on puberty and adolescence. Please call 651-2229 to register.

Community Health Screenings

Wednesday, June 23, 7:30 – 10:30 am Location: Education Classrooms First Floor, Doctors Hospital, • No appointments needed, enter through the main entrance of the hospital, directions are posted in the lobby. • Free Cholesterol, Blood Sugar & Blood Pressure • The following tests will be offered for $15.00 each at every screening: Blood Type, Hemoglobin, A1C, Lipid Profile, PSA, Liver Profile, TSH, CBC Complete Blood Count (Hgb, HCT, WBC, etc.), Chem Basic- Na, K, Cl, CO2, Glucose, Bun, Creat, Calcium.

Mark your calendars, CareFair for Women is just around the corner! It’s time for your free day of pampering services provided by Dillard’s including hand massage, paraffin treatments, eye brow waxing, quick fix hair styling and mini cosmetic makeovers. Visit the assortment of exhibitor booths and enjoy various demonstrations like cooking with Karin Calloway, financial tips and a fashion show. It’s also a great opportunity to get your annual health screenings and catch up on life-saving women’s health information, news and trends.

For more details about CareFair for Women please call 706.651.FAIR (3247) or watch for our ads in the Augusta Chronicle. See you there! Gastric Bypass Support Group

Wednesday, June 16, 5:30 – 6:30 pm Location: Doctors Hospital, First Floor, Classrooms 1 & 2.

Support group open to patients who have had gastric bypass surgery or those considering it, and their families. Please call Valerie Lively, RD if you have any questions at 651-6043.

Cradle Club *These classes will be held at:

Doctors Hospital Campus, 3623 J. Dewey Gray Circle Medical Office Building I, Cradle Club Classroom, Suite 110. Join our Cradle Club today! Membership is FREE. Please pre-register for all classes. Call 651-BABY (2229) or register online, www.doctors-hospital.net

Labor & Delivery Tour

Thursday, June 3, 7 pm

Tour begins at the hospital in Classrooms 1 & 2.

Prepared Childbirth Classes*

7 – 9:30 pm Mondays, June 7 – July 12 Tuesdays, June 29 – August 3

Infant CPR

Thursday, June 10, 6:30 – 9 pm Classrooms 1 & 2 in the hospital.

Baby’s Brother & Sister*

Sunday, June 13, 2 – 3:30 pm

Baby Care*

Sunday, June 13, 4 – 6:30 pm

Breastfeeding*

Thursday, June 24, 6:30 – 8:30 pm

Saturday Express Prepared Childbirth*

Saturday, June 26, 9 am – 5 pm

Senior Friends

Free Morning Fitness Class**

Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, 8:45 – 9:30 am. For members only.

Orientation Coffee for New and Renewing Members** Tuesday, June 8, 10 am Please RSVP to 651-6716.

AARP Driver Safety Program**

Thursday & Friday, June 10 & 11, 12 pm Open to the public 50+. Participants must pre-register by calling 651-6716.

Free Pulmonary and Pulse Oximetry Screenings

Thursday, June 10, 10 am Location: Doctors Hospital Campus, Medical Office Building II, Suite 302.

Education Program – Age Management

Friday, June 25, 11:30 am

William L. Hickerson is the guest speaker. Free lunch provided, please RSVP to 651-6716. Located on the Doctors Hospital Campus, Building III, 1305 Interstate Parkway. **Senior Friends Meeting Area. To join or register for classes please call 651-6716 or register online, www.doctors-hospital.net.

For more information, call 651-2450 • 3651 Wheeler Road • Augusta, GA

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For Supporting Our Advertisers METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

a large spectator section that provides bleachers seating up to 6,000 people, including a family section where no alcohol is allowed. For the audience’s protection, Miles has installed an 8-inch concrete wall to shield spectators from any flying debris or out of control cars. After all, while the races are entertaining, the cars are at times traveling in excess of 200 mph. “The fastest speed in drag racing right now is 333 mph,” Miles said. “We typically run anywhere from 200 to 225 mph is what we can have at our track’s quarter mile.” But Miles assures visitors that the race track is a safe and familyfriendly environment. “We’re a family-owned facility,” Miles said. “For us, Thursday and Saturday nights are designed to get the kids off the street and let them come out here and have fun.” But when asked how much money the track earns each year and the number of people visiting the dragway annually, Miles said he does not publicly release those figures. “I’ll say this: It’s very profitable, but again, we reinvest most of it back into the track,” Miles said. “For example, when we bought the race track in 1985, it was 25 acres. Now, it’s 250 acres. So, that will give you some idea of how much money we put back into the place.” As far as the possibility of Augusta developing its own drag strip, Miles said he would welcome a new track and would not be concerned about any additional competition. “As long as somebody was there that had sense to run the place correctly, two race tracks can work alongside each other and they can both be profitable,” Miles said. Danny Sanders, a driver at the raceway and husband to Miles’ sister, Angel, said there are enough fans of drag racing in the Augusta area to support two tracks. “On Thursday night, when it gets about 10 o’clock, you can’t hardly get in up there to race,” Sanders said, standing next to his Corvette with a parachute attached to the back. “People come from everywhere here, so I’m sure they would go to Augusta, too. But I love this track better than any of them because it’s home.” The only warning Miles had for Augusta was costly expenses such as insurance for the track. “The insurance is pretty high because everybody uses the same insurance company because we are sanctioned by the same (IHRA) body,” Miles said. “So, it’s quite expensive per month. Between the insurance and the light bills, those are your most expensive bills each month.” Augusta Commissioner Bobby Hankerson said that, before he endorses

continued from page 17 Williams said. “That’s all. Which is the baddest car.” Just a quick walk around the Carolina Dragway proved that motorsports racing has a diverse following. For instance, only a few feet away from Williams’ Camaro was a racing team of six young, black women from a church called the City of Refuge Christian Center in Hephzibah. “Our pastor, Bishop Sullivan Bush Jr., got us involved,” said Pamela Rhodes, of the Virtue Racing Ministry Team. “We have a six-woman team, who got together to buy this car and show that, as born-again Christians, you can have fun and live life with God.” Across the road was Stacey Fincher of Saluda with his team of four white men working on a bright orange, 1969 Camaro. “I’ve been coming here about a year and I do it because of the fellowship,” Fincher said. “It’s a lot of fun and just a good sport.” When asked if he would support the development of a drag strip in Augusta, Fincher said he wouldn’t hesitate to take advantage of a closer track. “We come through Augusta to get here. So, I would definitely go,” Fincher said. Reggie Johnson, an Augusta spectator at the Carolina Dragway, said a drag

strip is just what Augusta needs. “I would love to have one out there,” Johnson said. “They shouldn’t have ever torn that old race track down. I remember, we used to drive down there on Sundays and race out there then. “I was out there the last Sunday they had a race and the sheriff’s department came out there and started taking sledge hammers out of the trunks of their patrol cars and busting up the cement trying to keep people from going down the straightaway. So, I really believe something like that is needed in Augusta. “ Williams said, only those who have seen a drag race, understand how the racing gets in one’s blood. “I bought this car for $5,000 about 20 years ago,” Williams said, referring to his 1968 Camaro. “When I ran for public office I sold it because I didn’t have any money and I needed the money to run. “About two years ago, I went to Savannah and bought it back. The very same car. I tracked it down. That’s how much I love drag racing. And I know just know a drag strip will work in Augusta. Because when you’re hooked on this sport, I mean, when you really love the sport, you’ll race a bicycle. You just need a place to race.”

“On Thursday night, when it gets about 10 o’clock, you can’t hardly get in up there to race. People come from everywhere here, so I’m sure they would go to Augusta too.” — Danny Sanders, a driver at the Carolina Dragway

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METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

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METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004 19

Bikini Watch

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004 20

mmediately after New Year’s it begins, those ominous warnings about overindulging, about piling on the pounds during the “holiday season.” It starts with little subliminal murmurings about tight waistbands on your favorite jeans. The magazines murmur. Television commercials murmur. The mirror murmurs. Then the murmurings grow louder. You want to look good in those tiny halter tops, don’t you? Ads start offering discounts on “bikini season” spa packages designed to get you into shape in time for warm weather fashions. Suddenly (usually around tax time, April 15 or so), the warnings harass our every waking moment. Oh my God! Summer’s almost here. Is your body ready for a bathing suit? Even adult women who know better start feeling selfconscious about eating anything that has actual substance, e.g., bread. We feel guilt if we actually eat breakfast. The ice cream in the freezer is regarded with the same disgust and terror as a rogue strain of ebola. This is the time of year when many of us start wondering whether we really want to go through the mental trauma and the psychological stress of 1) locating the bathing suit; 2) trying it on; and 3) buying a larger size, or simply 4) leaving the country and changing our names. In our fat-phobic culture a sense of genuine horror greets the prospect of wearing a bikini in public — mind-numbing, hyperventilating horror that cinemeisters like John Carpenter and Stephen King would covet. Why is this? Well, there are many reasons, but two biggies come to mind. There is a reality disconnect between what we see in magazines and on TV — the perfect skin stretched tautly over fat-free bones and what actual, living human females look like. The image worshipped is rarely the image embodied. The other problemo involves the biological necessity of eating to stay alive. Food — can’t live with it, can’t live without it. Yet food is the sworn enemy of the bikini. Food is the evil villain that fills out our curves and conceals our bones. Without Demon Calorie we could all make Calista look quite tubby, thank you. Without Demon Calorie we wouldn’t need to agonize about our stomachs bulging and our thighs jiggling. Without Demon Calorie we’d be … dead. Ah, there’s the rub. Our eyes say, “I’m too fat,” our bodies say “feed me.” At its worst during the traditional “beach season,” this culturally induced contradiction between body image and body need exists all year long. How many Thanksgiving dinners have been ruined by the guest who says, “Oh, I really can’t eat that,” as you offer the heirloom dish you’ve slaved over for days? I’m not encouraging pig-out behavior. I’m talking about the enjoyment of a home-cooked meal, having a good appetite. When I was a kid I remember reading about the secrets of Jackie Kennedy’s svelte, designer body. It was simple, really. She chainsmoked (off-camera) and only lunched on champagne and chilled asparagus. Perhaps the strategy that kept the former first lady an enviable size 6 needs no commentary, save for the old Gloria Vanderbilt mantra about how one can never be too thin, or too rich. (The truth is, as every welfare mother knows, that it helps to be rich in order to be thin unless you choose bulemia, which is not our topic today.)

There are billions of reasons why women hate their bodies, almost all of them stupid. And billions more why they hate feeling the heaviness of their bodies, that downward drag of gravity that kills their sense of lightness and joy. But the issue here is the sort of maniacal crash diet consciousness that strikes right before the summer. That “I’ve got to lose those five pounds or die” mindset. Even if you’re not actually cutting out the Sara Lee, there’s a constant vigilance, sort of a self-induced internal surveillance toward food consumption that sets up shop in our psyches. The enslavement to regulating food intake takes over many, many females every May and June. I’ll confess I hit bottom in terms of this fun-killing attitude during a vacation in Mexico a few years ago when I refused a cold beer for fear that drinking it would destroy the flat lines of my stomach. If Christy Turlington had a flat stomach, then by God, so would I. The silliness of it all is that many of us have absolutely no desire to wear a bikini. As a serious swimmer I scoff at bikinis, which tend to fall off if you’re actually trying to swim, much less body surf some nice waves. So I do the one-piece thing. That cuts out some of the agony of the tummy. But there are still thighs and upper arms mocking us and crying out to be trimmed into what Linda Hamilton showed off in “Terminator.” Who among us, men and women alike, didn’t lust for her buffed, cut and ripped biceps and triceps? After the movie came out, I was catching up on my movie gossip reading and found out that Hamilton got that way by giving up all plans for a real life and spending five hours a day, five days a week working with a trainer. For three months! You do the math. Back to the rest of us. Since we don’t have a premiere or a world tour coming up, just a day at the beach, we can calm down. Or can we? If you’re over 40 you probably join me in chuckling at the very idea of worrying over whether you’re thin enough. We’re all adults, right? We know that our self-esteem isn’t tied in to our dress size? Don’t we? Well, an informal poll of my adult women friends convinces me that no, we do not know that. So invasive is our thin-and-thinner conditioning that years after our alleged bikini prime we still agonize every summer over the sins of the flesh. God forgive us: We may actually have put on a few pounds since high school. Some women keep those 10 extra pounds after they have children. Many of us actually have the bodies of grown-up girls, rather than adolescent boys. Yet along with poor Lady MacBeth, we wail that no ocean can wash away our wickedness. Bless me Father for I have sinned: I ate lunch today. Listen up. Even though you plan to go to the beach with your friends next week, you’ve still gotta eat. Food is one of the sensual enjoyments of being alive and surely one of the most pleasant, and often memorable, rituals we share with our fellow humans. Besides, when was the last time a man told you, “Whoa babe, you’re not really going out there with that tummy?” Exactly. So the whole propaganda machine, I’ve decided, is really run for women, by women. To which I say, girlfriend, get some new material. — Christina Waters is a contributing editor of Metro Santa Cruz.

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Twenty Pair of Braves/Red Sox tickets will be given away during the game. See Augusta Major League Alumni Tim Wakefield, Bronson Arroyo, and Kevin Youkilis take on the Braves in Altanta!

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BITE How Well Do You Know Your Food?

re you the kind of person who walks into a grocery store and picks up a box of Jell-O, not just for the way it satisfies all of your daily nutritional requirements, but because you also wonder how someone came to invent something so seemingly insane or how the hell it became so popular? If so, you’ll have no problems flying through this quiz. But even if you’re not oddly obsessed with the origins of the foods you eat, don’t let that put you off. Try your luck and you might have a good laugh while you learn a thing or two.

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

1. This company made a big faux pas by putting an image of their target users on the label of their product when introducing it in Africa, which indicated to the locals that what was inside was made from what was pictured on the label. A. Otter Pops B. Flintstones chewable vitamins C. Gerber Baby Food D. Purina Dog Chow 2. Waste from this company, formed in 1978 in a renovated gas station, is given to local farmers to use as hog food. A. Pfizer B. Samuel Adams Brewery C. Oscar Mayer D. Ben & Jerry’s 3. This already prepared food was named after a real person, born in Italy, who worked at such notable restaurants as those at The Plaza and The Ritz-Carlton in New York City. A. Marie Callendar B. Chef Boyardee C. Paul Newman D. Samuel Adams 4. The popularity of this gave rise to the vending machine. A. Cigarettes B. Chewing gum C. Soda D. Doritos 5. January 29 is the national day for this snack food. A. Potato chips B. Popcorn C. Corn chips D. Beef jerky 6. This breakfast cereal giant’s 1907 ad campaign offered a free box to any woman who would wink at her grocer. A. Corn Flakes B. Cheerios C. Cracklin’ Oat Bran D. Count Chocula

By Amy Fennell Christian

7. This fast food chain’s signature product was an instant hit in 1938, selling more than 1,600 portions at a dime a piece in two hours during the founders’ trial sale. A. McDonald’s Big Mac B. Popeye’s chicken C. Dairy Queen’s soft serve D. Wendy’s chili 8. This junk food has been attributed to the Pennsylvania Dutch as well as a New England sea captain, but archaeologists found petrified versions in the Southwest United States in prehistoric Native American ruins. A. Cookies B. Pork rinds C. Potato Chips D. Doughnuts 9. This is the oldest soft drink manufacturer in the U.S. A. Dr Pepper B. Coca-Cola C. Pepsi D. Diet Rite 10. There are 600 outlets of this fast food joint in China, their second largest market after the U.S. A. Burger King B. Kentucky Fried Chicken C. Taco Bell D. Arby’s 11. The Kennedy Biscuit Works in Massachusetts invented this cookie, the third most popular in the U.S., in 1891. They named many of their products after local towns, and this one was almost named after Shewsbury but, fortunately, the current name won out. A. Oreos B. Fig Newtons C. Lorna Doones D. Chips Ahoy 12. This popular condiment was introduced in 1904, the same year the hot dog was introduced in America at the St. Louis World’s Fair. A. French’s mustard B. Pickle relish C. Heinz ketchup D. Chili 13. One of the earliest references to this popular American side dish’s forbearer is in Charles Dickens’ “A Tale of Two Cities.” The first reference to it by its American name is in O. Henry’s “Rolling Stones.” A. Macaroni and Cheese B. Mashed Potatoes C. Succotash D. French fries

14. This condiment’s first slogan when it was introduced in 1876 was a “Blessed relief for mother and the other women in the household!” A. French’s Mustard B. Miracle Whip C. Heinz ketchup D. Wasabi 15. This oddly named product was invented in 1895 and introduced its least popular flavor — cola — in 1936 and dropped it the following year. A. Pie B. Pepto Bismol C. Malt-o-Nut D. Jell-O 16. This fruit-flavored candy originally contained cough medicine. A. Starburst B. Jujube C. Gummi Bears D. Jolly Ranchers 17. This popular kids’ product originally came in only seven flavors — cherry, strawberry, raspberry, grape, orange, lemon-lime and root beer. A. Popsicles B. Kool-Aid C. Double Bubble D. Nehi soda 18. The original name for this popular soda fountain drink was Diastoid. A. Malted milk B. Egg Cream C. Milkshake D. Coke Float 19. This candy (without, we assume, the dispenser) was originally introduced in Vienna as a mint for smokers. A. Smints B. Altoids C. Tic-Tacs D. Pez 20. James Dewar, inventor of this popular snack, reportedly ate two a day until his death in 1985. A. Twinkies B. Sno Balls C. Ding Dongs D. Pickled pigs feet Answer Key 1. C; 2. D; 3. B; 4. B; 5. C; 6. A; 7. C; 8. D; 9. A; 10. B; 11. B; 12. A; 13. D; 14. C; 15. D; 16. B; 17. B; 18. A; 19. D; 20. A

in the mix Music, as he will readily admit, is Jon Gravely’s life. Describing himself as a “deejay at heart,” Gravely likes to produce and many of the remixes Coyote’s patrons hear are his own creations. He gets teased by his wife and 13-year-old son for absentmindedly humming random songs and says, simply, “It just seems like everything comes back to music.” Three things in his car right now Headphones, workout gloves and CDs. Last three credit card purchases It’s probably going to be something really uninteresting like groceries from the store, music — CDs — and a restaurant, probably Veracruz. Do clothes really make the man? No, because it’s more of what’s inside. If you’re not a good person, you can look as fancy as you want, but it’ll still come through that you’re not a real good person. There’s a funnier way to say it, but it’s probably not printable.

Photo by Joe White

Celebrity people most say he resembles Somebody told me one time that I looked like Gallagher and I had to laugh. I thought that was pretty unique. The best description I hear of myself is people who say I’m “that long-haired, bald-headed guy.”

Jon Gravely Join us at the market for breakfast. Then buy your home-grown fruits and veggies for the week.

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Which cartoon character does he most wish was real? Striperella, because one of my favorite people is Pamela Anderson. I don’t know if she’s technically a cartoon character, but … Current musical favorite That could be a long conversation. I’m gonna say Usher because I’m doing a remix of a couple of Usher’s songs so it’s kind of on my mind. Who he’d most like to switch places with for a day Probably Donald Trump. I think that would be right up my alley. I could transfer some of his funds into my account. Never again will he … One time we did five theme parks in seven days and we actually said, “Never again!” We needed a vacation after our vacation.

Manager, Coyote’s

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What’s the best way to respond to, “Does this outfit make me look fat?” “No!” It’s the easiest way to stay out of trouble. If I felt like it was going to set somebody up to be more embarrassed later on, then, no, it’s better to tell the truth, but if it wasn’t going to hurt anything then I’d just say no.

ENTERTAINMENT

n the realm of high-speed NASCAR motor racing, your life can change, even end, in an instant. It’s a reality the highly skilled drivers of this sport accept every time they strap themselves behind the wheel of a car that can generate 1,000 horsepower and propel itself around a track at speeds in excess of 200 mph. It’s a reality, according to director Simon Wincer, that he and his crew were committed to capturing on film for the latest IMAX spectacular, “NASCAR 3D: The IMAX Experience,” which recently opened in select theaters. For a year, the filmmakers followed the NASCAR circuit, focusing their two massive 3D IMAX cameras on the Super Bowl frenzy of Florida’s Daytona 500, the shimmer of night racing at Tennessee’s Bristol Motor Speedway, the steep bank intensity of the Rockingham Speedway in North Carolina and Alabama’s Talladega Super Speedway, along with the thrilling spectacle of watching 43 cars come in for a

simultaneous pit stop at the California Speedway in Fontana. They shot from the air and they shot from the ground. They placed their cameras on cranes to get as near the action as possible. They hovered in helicopters above racetracks. And while shooting at the California Speedway, they almost shocked the pants off NASCAR superstar Jimmie Johnson (who Wincer later cast in his film to play a rip-roaring Southern moonshiner who outruns the local police). “I remember going down the back straightaway during the race and there’s this helicopter flying 80 feet off the ground coming at me head-on,” Johnson recalled. “I’m thinking, ‘What in the world is this helicopter doing?’ Then I see the big, huge ball on the front that’s holding the IMAX camera. As I’m going by at 160 miles an hour, I realize, ‘Oh, they’re shooting a movie. And they’re getting pretty (expletive) close!’” In addition to shots of these high-octane

By Jim Farber

Courtesy of Warner Bros. Entertainment

'Experience' Puts You in the Driver's Seat

DIRECTOR SIMON WINCER POINTS THE WAY TO RACE CAR DRIVER KYLE PETTY AS HIS FAMOUS FATHER, RICHARD PETTY, LOOKS ON.

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

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cars in action, the filmmakers also were able to capture the rapid-fire precision of pit crews at work. They milled with the massive crowds that pack the infield, and got a sense of the rock star status that surrounds NASCAR’s premier drivers. To add depth and background to the story, Wincer staged the moonshiner chase and assembled archival material to illustrate the roots of NASCAR — its founding fathers and legendary drivers. He and his crew went behind the scenes to show the racing team’s high-tech workshop/factories where these amazing machines are produced. They documented the military-like preparations that go into getting the cars ready for race day — all the nuts and bolts and tires that lead up to those famous words: “Gentlemen, start your engines!” And when that wasn’t enough, they went racing themselves. “The challenge for me when I saw my first NASCAR race, was how do I capture the sense of speed,” said Wincer, an affable Aussie who also directed IMAX’s other horsepower saga, “The Young Black Stallion.” “When you watch a NASCAR race on TV, the reason it doesn’t look like they’re going that fast is because the cameras are so removed from the track,” he said. “They’re using these really long lenses and zooming in on the cars, which makes them look slower. I knew we had to somehow get the camera right down on the track.” Easier said than done, since the 3D IMAX camera is a demanding 265-pound mistress that takes four men to lift, and can only shoot three minutes of film at a time.

A partial solution, said Wincer, was to supplement the output of the 3D cameras with footage from a pair of traditional IMAX cameras, 35 mm footage and videotape of the races produced by Fox Television. But even these additional sources didn’t satisfy Wincer’s need for speed. “Simon’s idea,” said co-producer and IMAX veteran Lorne Orleans, “was to take existing race footage and then put you in the driver’s seat.” But how could that be done? “If we’d had the time and the money, and actually wanted to be in a race,” Orleans said, “we would have had to design a special car that could carry the camera and still meet NASCAR’s template, find a driver, run the car, and qualify for the race. “That, I suppose, was a theoretical option. But it wasn’t very practical,” he added with a laugh. What Wincer and his crew needed was a viable, more economically realistic alternative. The solution led in several directions. Their first pit stop was the factory of Roush Racing and a meeting with its owner, Jack Roush. Tantalized by the challenge, Roush and his design team built a race car for Team IMAX that incorporated a suspension capable of handling the added weight and bulk of the camera. It was constructed, Wincer said, with removable panels to enable six camera positions. These included the driver’s point of view and a low angle at tire level that would show the car and its competitors rocking through the steep embankments at Talladega, where the film’s special race sequences were staged. Another trail of discovery led Wincer and

his crew to Andy Hillenburg and his Charlotte, N.C.-based driving school, Fast Track. Hillenburg provided Wincer and cinematographer James Neihouse with a second specially rigged camera car that had previously been used to shoot NASCAR-related commercials. Weaving in and out of a field of as many as 30 race cars (provided by the Richard Petty Driving Experience and painted to imitate each team’s colors and logos), the camera car reached speeds of up to 165 mph. And as it hurtled around the track, Neihouse found himself hunkered down on the passenger’s side operating the camera’s panning head by remote control as he stared into a tiny video monitor. The in-car results were exactly what Wincer had been looking for. But he still wanted more. So the second camera car was fired up to shoot side-by-side competition. In addition, a specially designed truck with an extending crane (called the Shotmaker) was used to place the camera directly over the cars as they came speeding by. Then, in one of the film’s most challenging (and potentially dangerous) shots, Wincer actually had the massive camera bolted down to the steeply banked track at Talladega. Activated by remote control, it achieved a series of remarkable shots as two rows of “racing” cars approached the camera and zoomed by it on either side. Throughout the shoot, the danger factor kept the filmmakers on their toes. “The first race we filmed was the Daytona 500,” said Wincer. “And there was this terrible wreck (which appears in the film) when Ryan Newman’s No. 12 car

just rolled and rolled and rolled. Then when we were at Talladega, the racetrack had the biggest wreck in NASCAR history — 27 cars! But in every case, everyone walked away unscathed.” By the time the company reached the last day of shooting, Wincer said, they had become so confident about their skills, they were getting cocky. It was a mistake that nearly proved fatal. “There’s a scene where a tire comes flying off a car and hits the camera. That’s not a computer-generated effect,” he said. “That’s real. That really happened. What you don’t see, because the tire hit the brace of the camera, which ended up pointing into the air, was that there were 17 cars behind that all piled up.” Once the filmmakers had the look they wanted of these high-speed cars, the next challenge was to convey the thunderous level of sound they produce. “Most of the sound in the film we had to re-create because the cars are going much too fast to record the continuous sound you want,” said Wincer. “We had to sample it and then record it. But compared to the real thing, it’s pretty close. What limits our ability to play it even louder is that the theater owners don’t want to blow out their speakers. But with the IMAX system’s 1,200 watts of sound, you don’t just hear this film — you feel it!” There is, however, one aspect of “NASCAR 3D: The IMAX Experience” that could pose real problems. When you leave the theater, you’ll probably be tempted to barrel down the road as if headed for the checkered flag.

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METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

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Benefits Meetings Theater Auditions Exhibitions Attractions MuseumsArts Seniors Dance Arts

Theatre NEIL SIMON’S “BRIGHTON BEACH MEMOIRS” will be presented by Aiken Community Playhouse through May 29 at the Washington Center for the Performing Arts in Aiken. Tickets are $15 general admission, $13 for seniors 60 and over, $10 for students and $6 for children 12 and under. For info, call (803) 648-1438 or e-mail info@aikencommunityplayhouse.com..

Auditions ENOPION THEATRE COMPANY is looking for volunteers to act, sing, sew, build and more for their new musical, “Creation.” Applications are available at www.imaryproductions.com or by calling (803) 442-9039. SWEET ADELINES HARMONY RIVER CHORUS OPEN REHEARSAL for singers each Thursday at 7 p.m. at Church of Christ, 600 Martintown Rd. in North Augusta. They are on the lookout for voices in the lower ranges. Contact Stacy Branch at 877-9931.

Attractions MOTORIZED TOURS OF HISTORIC AIKEN every Saturday, 10-11:30 a.m. Tours leave from the Washington Center for the Performing Arts. Reservations are required, and patrons must be age 2 and older. (803) 642-7631.

Education ISRAELI DANCE WORKSHOP at the Augusta Jewish Community Center Sunday afternoons, 4-5 p.m. Open to teens and adults; no experience or partners are necessary. Cost is $2 per session, with the first session free. For information or to schedule a pre-class beginner/refresher session, contact Jackie Cohen, 738-9016. ART CLASSES AND WORKSHOPS are offered year-round at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art. Classes and workshops are open to toddlers through adults and feature instruction in drawing, painting, photography, pottery, weaving and sculpture. For a newsletter or detailed information on registering for classes at the Gertrude Herbert, call 722-5495. The Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art also offers educational tours; for information, contact the education director at the above telephone number. ART CLASSES FOR CHILDREN AND ADULTS at the Art Factory. The Art Factory also has a homeschool program and scholarships . Programs include painting, pottery, pilates, hip-hop, modern dance and more. Classes are held at the Art Factory, 418 Crawford Ave., or at the Augusta Jewish Community Center. Call 731-0008 for details.

Exhibitions JANOS ENYEDI: THE AMERICAN INDUSTRIAL LANDSCAPE — RECONSTRUCTED will be on view at the Morris Museum of Art through May 30. For more information, call 724-7501. WORKS OF TOM NAKASHIMA AND JANOS ENYEDI will be on display at the Mary Pauline Gallery through May 29. For more information, call 724-9542. HARRIET MARSHALL GOODE, “PERSONAL HISTORY BOX,” original paintings in oil and acrylic, will be shown through May 29 at Rabold Gallery in Aiken. (703) 641-4405.

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

THE 521 ALL-STARS: A CHAMPIONSHIP STORY OF BASEBALL AND COMMUNITY will be on display at The Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History through June 30. THE SOUTH CAROLINA WATERCOLOR SOCIETY’S 27th annual awards exhibition is on display at the Aiken Center for the Arts at 122 Laurens Street in Aiken through June 26. Eighty paintings have been selected for the exhibition and $10,000 in artist awards were presented to the top 30 artists. For info, call (678) 721-2506.

ARTIST DORIS SOFGE opens the very, very first Imperial (Theatre) Art, Wine & Theatre event during the June 4 First

“THE PEONY PAVILION,” AN 18-HOUR CHINESE OPERA, RUNS AT CHARLESTON’S SPOLETO FESTIVAL JUNE 3-6 AND 10-13. Friday, from 6-9 p.m. The evening includes music, historic tours of the Imperial every half hour and door prizes. For info, call Barbara Owens at 722-8341. MARY PAULINE GALLERY hosts Clay Moore (the artist, not the weapon), Raoul Pacheco and Barbara Bowen Moore for a First Friday show. Opening reception is June 4, 5-8 p.m.; June 5, 11 a.m.- 3 p.m.; June 6, 3-6 p.m. Call (706)724-9543.

Dance THE AUGUSTA INTERNATIONAL FOLK DANCE CLUB meets Thursday evenings at 7:30 p.m. No partners are needed and newcomers are welcome. Call 737-6299 for location and info. AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF THE UNITED STATES AMATEUR BALLROOM DANCERS ASSOCIATION holds a dance the first Saturday of each month, from 7:15-11 p.m. Cost is $7 for members and $10 for non-members. Held at the BPOE facility on Elkdom Court. Contact Melvis Lovett, 733-3890, or Jean Avery, 863-4186, for information.

receive recording and production time with producer Ruskin Yeargain for the song that you submitted. You will also be a featured act in December at the Imperial Theatre concert. All costs of this, including any licensing fees, will be paid by Bordertown Music. This is a non-profit fund-raiser. Mail your CDs to 12 Bands of Christmas, Attention: Joe Stevenson, 3208 A Mike Padgett Hwy., Augusta, GA 30906. E-mail MP3s to jstevenson@bellsouth.net. Deadline is June 1. HOPELANDS SUMMER CONCERT SERIES concerts take place at Hopeland Gardens in Aiken at 7 p.m. Concerts will be held every Sunday from May to August on the Roland H. Windham Performing Arts Stage. Performances will include a variety of music styles, as well as dance and vocal concerts. Please bring a lawn chair or blanket to sit on. Food is welcome but alcohol is prohibited. In case of inclement weather, please call 643-4661 for info. CONCERTS IN THE PARK presented by the North Augusta Cultural Arts Council, features quietSTORM on June 10, Savannah River Grass June 17, Blues Express June 24, Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold July 1, Thelma Robinson and Divine Providence July 15 and Fresh Music All-Star Big Band July 29. Call (803) 442-7588.

Music

BORDERS MUSIC EVENTS feature Bryan Warlick May 28 and Charles Tremblay May 29. Call (706) 737-6962.

THE 12 BANDS OF CHRISTMAS is now accepting submissions for the 2004 12 Bands of Christmas benefit and concert. Last year’s event raised $10,000 for MCG’s Children’s Medical Center. If you are an aspiring singer/songwriter or in a band, record a demo of an original or traditional Christmas song that you would like included on this year’s compilation. Artists will be chosen based on performance and song, not the quality of the recording. Submission is free, but CDs will not be returned. Include your name, band name, phone number, e-mail address and song name on the CD. There is no guarantee that your song will be used. If selected as one of the 12 Bands of Christmas, you will

AUGUSTA CHORAL SOCIETY invites Augusta to join them for a summer evening of reading through some great music. There is no cost and the music will be provided. Conductor will be J. Porter Stokes, artistic director of Augusta Choral Society. For info, call (706) 826-4713 or email cdolen@aol.com or cdolen@augustachoralsociety.org. MONTANA SKIES will perform music for cello and guitar for Evenings in the Appleby Garden at 8 p.m., June 1 in the gardens behind the Appleby Library. Free and open to the public. Call 736-6244.

AUGUSTA CANAL INTERPRETIVE CENTER: Housed in Enterprise Mill, the center contains displays and models focusing on the Augusta Canal’s functions and importance to the textile industry. Hours are Mon.Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m. and Sun., 1-6 p.m. Admission is $5 adult, $4 seniors and military and $3 children ages 6-18. Children under 6 admitted free. Guided boat tours of the Augusta Canal depart from the docks at Enterprise Mill at 11 a.m., 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m. Saturdays and Tuesdays and Thursdays at 11 a.m. and 1:30 p.m. Tour tickets are $6 adults, $5 seniors and $4 students and children. For tour information, call 823-7089. For other info, visit www.augustacanal.com or call 823-0440. THE BOYHOOD HOME OF WOODROW WILSON: Circa 1859 Presbyterian manse occupied by the family of President Woodrow Wilson as a child during the Civil War and Reconstruction. Original and period antiques, restored house, kitchen and carriage house. 419 Seventh Street. Open 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Tues.-Sat. Tours available; groups of 10 or more by appointment only. Admission is $5 adults, $4 seniors, $3 students under 18 and free for ages 5 and under. 722-9828. AUGUSTA GOLF & BOTANICAL GARDENS OF THE GEORGIA GOLF HALL OF FAME features beautiful display gardens, as well as bronze sculptures of some of golf’s greatest masters. Available for rent for a variety of functions. Group discount rates available. Closed Mondays; open from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Tues.-Sat.; open from 1-5 p.m. on Sunday. Admission is $5.50 for adults; $4.50 for students, seniors and military; $3.50 for children (4-12); free for children 3 and under. Sundays are two for one with a Super Sunday coupon. Annual garden memberships are available. Call 724-4443 or 1-888-874-4443. Also, visit their Web site at www.gghf.org. NATIONAL SCIENCE CENTER’S FORT DISCOVERY: Children and adults alike can immerse themselves in the wonders of science through live demonstrations, virtual realities, Starlab, KidScape and more than 250 hands-on exhibits. General Admission: $8 for adults; $6 for children, seniors and active military. Group rates available. Operating hours: Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sunday, noon-5 p.m. Call 821-0200, 1-800-325-5445 or visit their Web site at www.NationalScienceCenter.org. REDCLIFFE STATE HISTORIC SITE: 1859 mansion of S.C. Governor James Henry Hammond, held by the family for three generations until 1975. Grounds and slave quarters are open Thursday-Monday, 9 a.m.-6 p.m. House tours will be offered at 1, 2 and 3 p.m. Admission to the grounds is free. Fee for house tours is $3 for adults and children ages 6-17. For more information, call (803) 827-1473. 181 Redcliffe Road, Beech Island.

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THE LINDBERGH EXHIBIT IS BEING HELD OVER UNTIL JUNE 6 AT AUGUSTA MUSEUM OF HISTORY. SACRED HEART CULTURAL CENTER is offering tours of its 100-year-old building Mon.-Fri., 9 a.m.-5 p.m. $1 per person, children free. 826-4700. AUGUSTA VISITORS INFORMATION CENTER open Mon.Sat., 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sun. 1-5 p.m. Located inside the Augusta Museum of History. Call 724-4067. THE EZEKIEL HARRIS HOUSE: Deemed “the finest 18th century house surviving in Georgia” by the “Smithsonian Guide to Historic America.” Open Saturday, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. General admission is $2; senior admission is $1 and children get in for 50 cents. For more information, call 724-0436. PHINIZY SWAMP NATURE PARK: See egrets, blue herons, river otters and elusive alligators in their natural setting, just minutes from downtown Augusta. The park has observation decks, boardwalks and several nature trails suitable for hiking. Why not try out the Academy Research Experience, which is a day camp for adults only? Dates are June 1 and 2. Call (706) 828-2109 to register or for more info. Or how about the Teacher Workshop: POW! The Planning of Wetlands? That is offered June 3-4. To register for that one, call (410) 745-9620. Swamp Saturday will be held June 5 at 9:30 a.m. Open Monday-Friday, noon-dusk, and Saturday and Sunday, dawn to dusk. For more information, call the Southeastern Natural Sciences Academy Office at 828-2109. THE AUGUSTA FARMERS MARKET ON BROAD is held every Saturday from 8 a.m.-2 p.m. until Sept. 25. Located beside Health Central on Macartan Street from 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Accepting applications from vendors. Call (706) 722-7245.

Museums THE GERTRUDE HERBERT INSTITUTE OF ART in Ware’s Folly exhibits works by local and regional artists. Art classes, workshops and other educational programming for children, youth and adults are held in the Walker-Mackenzie Studio. Open Tuesday-Friday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Saturday by appointment only. Admission is free, but a donation of $2 for adults and $1 for children and seniors is encouraged. Call 722-5495 or visit www.ghia.org for more info.

LUNCH AT NOON LECTURE SERIES held the second Wednesday of every month at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History, 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Call the museum at 724-3576 for more information.

Special Events AUGUSTA SHOWCASE, an economic development campaign to market the area to potential business residents, will soon be underway. The Augusta Metro Chamber of Commerce is giving presentations on the effort. Contact Tammy Stout, 722-8326, ext. 2, to schedule a speaker for your club or civic group. MCDUFFIE FRIENDS OF ANIMALS holds pet adoptions each Saturday, 1-3 p.m. at Superpetz on Bobby Jones Expressway. Call 556-9090 or visit www.petfinder.com. COLUMBIA COUNTY HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. and every Sunday from 1-4 p.m. at PetsMart. For more info, call 860-5020. RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL AND AUGUSTA ANIMAL RESCUE FRIENDS hold pet adoptions at Superpetz off Bobby Jones Expressway every Sunday from 1-4 p.m. Call AARF at 364-4747 or visit www.aarf.net. Adoptions also held at the Richmond County Animal Control Shelter, Tues.-Sun., 1-5 p.m. Call the shelter at 790-6836. THE CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. and every Wednesday evening from 5:30-7:30 p.m. at the Pet Center located behind the GreenJackets Stadium on Milledge Rd. 261-PETS. MOLLY’S MILITIA, a pet adoption agency, meets each Saturday at Superpetz in Aiken from 11 a.m.-3 p.m., PetsMart in Aiken from 3-6:30 p.m., and PetsMart in Augusta from 4:30-7:30 p.m. For more information, call (803) 279-7003. DOWNTOWN LUNCH DATE each Wednesday through June 30 from noon-1:30 p.m. at the Augusta Common. Will feature lunch from a local restaurant and musical entertainment. For more information, call 821-1754. THE GEORGIA WAR VENTERANS HOME MEMORIAL DAY CEREMONY will take place May 31 at 9 a.m. in the courtyard at the home at 1101 15th Street. Brigadier General Gregory J. Premo, deputy commanding general at Fort Gordon, will be the guest speaker. Mayor Bob Young will make opening remarks. Fort Gordon’s United States Army Signal Corp Band and the Post Color Guard will also participate in the ceremony. The public is invited to attend. Call (706) 721-2531.

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THE MORRIS MUSEUM OF ART hosts exhibitions and special events year-round. The members’ reception, titled “Point of View: American Folk Art From the William and Ann

THE MUSEUM OF LAUREL AND HARDY OF HARLEM, GEORGIA features displays of various Laurel and Hardy memorabilia; films also shown. Located at 250 N. Louisville Street in downtown Harlem. Open 1-4 p.m. ThursdayMonday. For more information, call 556-3448.

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

THE AUGUSTA MUSEUM OF HISTORY hosts permanent exhibition “Augusta’s Story,” an award-winning exhibit encompassing 12,000 years of local history. For the younger crowd, there’s the Susan L. Still Children’s Discovery Gallery, where kids can learn about history in a hands-on environment. Located at 560 Reynolds Street. Open Tuesday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sunday, 1-5 p.m. New permanent exhibition, “Into the Interior: A History of the Georgia Railroad and Banking Company” also available. The next installment of the Brown Bag History Series will feature Berry Benson: Peacetime Warrior on June 2 at noon. The speaker will be Dr. Jim Garvey of ASU. The Lindbergh exhibit has been held over until June 6. Admission is $4 adult, $3 seniors, $2 kids (6-18 years of age) and free for children under 6. Free admission on Sundays. Call 722-8454 or visit www.augustamuseum.org for more information.

Oppenhimer Collection” in which the Oppenhimers discuss the nature and development of their collection, is on May 27, and is free for members. The free tour takes place May 30. Closed on Mondays and major holidays. 1 Tenth Street, Augusta. Call 724-7501 or visit www.themorris.org for details.

FREE BLOOD PRESSURE CHECKS and HIV testing at RHEMA Connections, Inc. at 1829 Wrightsboro Road, Monday and Thursday evenings 5-8 p.m. Call (706) 3646135.

PROGRESSIVE FILMS presents “Beyond the Mirage: The Face of the Occupation,” a film produced by Americans for a Just Peace in the Middle East. It presents viewers an opportunity to hear from people who actually live in the region. Augusta-Richmond County Library, main branch, May 27, 6:30 p.m. Call 736-4738 or 267-4718 for info.

WALTON HEADACHE CENTER at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital is looking for young people, age 12-17, to volunteer for a headache study. Volunteers should weigh between 77 and 220 pounds, have been experiencing migraines for at least one year, have an average of three to eight migraines a month, be willing to write about all headaches in a diary, come in for office visits as required and be willing to take the study drug as directed by the doctor. Not all volunteers who are evaluated will qualify to take part in the study. Call (706) 823-5252.

RALLY AND PEACE WALK to be held at the Augusta Common on May 30 at 8 p.m., to commemorate the loss of lives in past and present wars and celebrate our civil liberties. If you would like to speak or perform call 774-6263 or 736-4738. No charge for the event. FORT GORDON OFFERS several memorial activities in the area centering on those killed in conflicts in which the United States has been involved. On May 27, Eatonton, Ga., holds Celebrating Patriotism at 6 p.m. with the full Signal Corps Band playing for the event. On May 29, Aiken, S.C., hosts a Memorial Day parade beginning at 1 p.m. at Richland Ave. and Laurens Street. On May 29 in Evans, Ga., there will be a Red, White and Blue Celebration at 6 p.m. at the Judicial Center on Ronald Reagan Drive. On May 31 at 9 a.m., at the Georgia War Veterans Nursing Home at 1101 Fifteenth Street in Augusta, the deputy commanding general of the U.S. Army Signal Center and Fort Gordon, Brigadier General Gregory Premo, will speak. On May 31 at 10 a.m. at Bellvue Memorial Gardens in Grovetown, Ga., a bugler will play and a color guard, flags and salute battery will participate in the ceremony. Other events on May 31: Celebrations at the Veterans of All Wars Memorial, 4th and Broad; Greenwood Town Square, Greenwood, S.C.; Brandon Wilde Life Care Center on Owens Road; at Stone Mountain, Ga., the Dixieland Band will play for the Memorial Day Celebration.

Kids AIKEN COUNTY PONY CLUB meets weekly. Open to children of all ages who participate or are interested in equestrian sports. For more information, contact Lisa Smith at (803) 649-3399. WEEKLY STORY SESSIONS at all branch libraries. Visit www.ecgrl.public.lib.ga.us for more information. FIRST SATURDAY STORYTELLING at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum. In addition, there is a tour of the museum. Held 10 a.m.-noon the first Saturday of the month. Call 724-3576. AZTEC DANCE OF MEXICO is part of the Morris Museum’s Children’s Performance Series. After learning about the dances, costumes and musical instruments of the Aztec culture, children participate in an Aztec friendship dance inspired by the powwow two-step dance from the North American Indians. Call (706) 724-7501.

Out of Town

WEE CAN SKI PROGRAM for children with special needs. Presented by the Medical College of Georgia. for info, call (706) 721-1188.

GEORGIA RENAISSANCE FESTIVAL runs through June 6 from 10:30 a.m.-6 p.m. For info, visit www.georgiarenaissancefestival.com. AT THE HIGH MUSEUM OF ART in Atlanta: “Glories of Ancient Egypt” through Sept. 19 and “African Gold From the Glassell Collection” through Sept. 19. Call (404) 733-HIGH or visit www.high.org for information. ALLIANCE THEATRE COMPANY presents “A Death in the House Next Door to Kathleen Turner’s House on Long Island” through May 30. Call the season ticket office at (404) 733-4600, the box office at (404) 733-5000 or visit www.alliancetheatre.org. THE ATLANTA JAZZ FESTIVAL takes place through May 31 in venues throughout Atlanta. Free. Visit www.atlantafestivals.com. NEW FDR MUSEUM IN WARM SPRINGS, GA. at the Little White House site. For info, call (706) 655-5870 or visit www.fdr-whitehouse.org. THE NEW AMERICAN SHAKESPEARE TAVERN presents “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum” through June 27. Performances are 7:30 p.m. Thursdays through Sundays with additional performances at 7:30 p.m. Wednesday, June 16 and 23, and Saturday, June 26 at 2 p.m. Call (404) 874-5299. CELEBRATE MICKY: 75 InspEARations Statue Tour comes to Underground Atlanta through July 20, featuring 75, 700pound, 6-foot-tall statues. For info, call (404) 577-8686. THE INDEPENDENT ADOPTION CENTER will hold an adoption information session on Saturday, June 5. The session will run from 9:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. at the IAC office at 3774 Lavista Road, Suite 100 in Tucker, Ga. Call (800) 3854016 or (400) 321-6900. PARTY WITH THE ‘POSSUMS NIGHT HIKE offered by Red Top Mountain State Park and Lodge in Cartersville, June 4, 11, 18 and 25. Suitable for all ages. Bring a flashlight. No pets. Meet in the Visitor Center parking lot. Parking is $2. Call (770) 975-4226. TO TEMPT A TROUT will be held at Amicalola Falls State Park and Lodge in Dawsonville. Learn about fishing. The day begins with a morning fishing rodeo for kids younger than 15 and concludes with a film. Anglers older than 15 need a trout stamp and valid Georgia fishing license. Parking is $2. Call (706) 265-4703.

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

JUNIOR FISHING RODEO will be held at Moccasin Creek State Park in Clarkesville, June 5. Children 11 and under compete for fishing trophies near Lake Burton. Parking is $2. Call (706) 947-3194.

Benefits

AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL is in need of dog and cat food, cat litter and other pet items, as well as monetary donations to help pay for vaccinations. Donations accepted during regular business hours, Tues.Sun., 1-5 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Call 7906836 for information.

“CELEBRATE MICKEY” IS AN EXHIBIT IN UNDERGROUND ATLANTA FEATURING 75, 700-POUND, 6-FT. TALL STATUES OF YOU-KNOW-WHO. SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER BLOOD DRIVES in various locations around the CSRA this month. For detailed information on locations and times to donate, visit www.shepeardblood.org. You may also call Susan Edwards at (803) 643-7996 for information on Aiken locations and Nancy Szocinski at 737-4551 for information on all other locations. AMERICAN RED CROSS BLOOD DRIVES take place at the Aiken Red Cross Blood Center on Millbrook Drive and the Augusta Red Cross Blood Center on Pleasant Home Road. The bloodmobile will also stop at various area locations this week. For a complete list, call the Aiken Blood Center at (803) 642-5180 or the Augusta Blood Center at 868-8800. THE SOUTHEASTERN PARALYZED VETERANS ASSOCIATION, INC. and District 8 ABATE of Georgia have organized their second annual Memorial Day Ride for Hospitalized Veterans, a motorcycle ride to assist and honor the veterans hospitalized in both VA facilities. Call (803) 442-3877.

Learning USC-AIKEN CONTINUING EDUCATION offers Paralegal Certificate Course, Taming the Wild Child, Conversational French, Italian, Spanish for the Beginner, Sign Language, Debt-Free Living and more. “Travelearn” learning vacations for adults and Education to Go online courses also available. For info, phone (803) 641-3563. AIKEN TECH CONTINUING EDUCATION offers Education to Go classes online, as well as computer classes, massage therapy, medical coding and billing, motorcycle safety, driver education and more. For more information or to register, call (803) 593-9231, ext. 1230. GED classes are offered by the Community Resource Center. Tuition is free. Call 722-4999 for more information. SERVICE CORPS OF RETIRED EXECUTIVES (SCORE) provides counseling and mentoring to business people either starting or continuing their business. Counseling is free and administered by retired executives. For more information, call 793-9998. FREE TUTORING at ASU’s Born to Read Literacy Center for all ages. Call 733-7043. AUGUSTA STATE UNIVERSITY CONTINUING EDUCATION is now offering courses in the following areas: History, personal enrichment, dance, exercise, youth, test prep, SAT prep, music, real estate, medical coding, investing, computer basics and more. There are also many online courses. For info, call 737-1636 or visit www.ced.aug.edu. FREE TUTORING offered at Augusta State University’s Born

To Read Literacy Center, Monday-Friday from 4-8 p.m. Closed on Wednesdays. Call 733-7043 for info. SOUTHERN WESLEYAN UNIVERSITY offers various business and education degrees for adult learners. Classes are forming now. Call (803) 819-1106. THE AUGUSTA ROWING CLUB is hosting National Learn to Row Day on Saturday, June 12. Person age 14 and up are invited to come out and take a one-day course in rouwing, and also participate in a fun bike ride. Registration forms are located on the Web site at www.augustarowingclub.org or you may call 855-9710 for info. VACATION READING PROGRAMS begin June 1 in all libraries. For info, call (706) 821-2604.

Health ANGELS HAVE WHEELS: Medicare recipients suffering from conditions such as arthritis, cardiovascular disease and respiratory disorders who have difficulty walking or propelling a standard wheelchair may be eligible to receive an electric wheelchair. For information on eligibility, call Gregory at 1-800-810-2877.

CAR SEAT INSPECTIONS presented by SAFE KIDS of East Central Georgia on June 2 at Babies R Us. To schedule an inspection call (706) 651-9300. On June 4, inspections will be held at MCG Health System. Call (706) 721-KIDS. AUGUSTA RUGBY CLUB is forming a guys team for youths age 14-19. Clinics and practice continue through the summer, from 6:30-8:30 p.m. every Tuesday and Thursday at the Academy of Richmond County on Walton Way, and are free. For free booklet, call (706) 951-590 or visit www.AugustaRugby.org or www.usarugby.org.

Seniors UNIVERSITY SENIORS CLUB has moved to a new location at 4106 Columbia Rd. University Seniors Club offers health screenings, support groups, health education classes and social activities. For more information, call 868-3231 or 1800-413-6652. HOME-BASED CARE available for low- to mid-income families seeking alternatives to nursing home placement. To participate, individuals must be aged 60 or up or must have disability status as defined by Social Security Administration guidelines. Applicants must also meet program income guidelines. For more information, contact the CSRA Area Agency on Aging at 210-2018 or 1-888-922-4464. WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL offers Arthritis Aquatics and People With Arthritis Can Exercise. Call 8235294 for information.

CHRONIC PAIN SUPPORT GROUP meets the first Thursday of every month, 10:30-11:30 a.m. at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital. 823-5294.

SENIOR VOLUNTEERS NEEDED for the new visitor center at Phinizy Swamp Nature Center to greet visitors, hand out literature and sell merchandise. Volunteers are asked to commit one Saturday or Sunday per month, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. or 1-5 p.m. Call 828-2109 for information.

WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL offers a number of health programs, including fibromyalgia aquatics, water aerobics, wheelchair and equipment clinics, therapeutic massage, yoga, acupuncture, children’s medical services clinic, special needs safety seat loaner program, exercise class for breast cancer survivors and more. Call 823-5294 for information.

AIKEN PARKS AND RECREATION offers a multitude of programs for senior adults, including bridge clubs, fitness classes, canasta clubs, line dancing, racquetball, arts and crafts, tennis and excursions. For more information, call (803) 642-7631.

DIET COUNSELING CLASSES for diabetics and those with high cholesterol at CSRA Partners in Health, 1220 Augusta West Parkway. Free. Call 860-3001 for class schedule. UNIVERSITY HEALTH CARE SYSTEM COMMUNITY EDUCATION holds workshops, seminars and classes on a variety of topics: Weight and nutrition, women’s health, cancer, diabetes, seniors’ health and more. Support groups and health screenings are also offered. Call 736-0847 for details. RAPE CRISIS AND SEXUAL ASSAULT SERVICES offers group counseling for victims of rape, date rape and childhood sexual abuse regardless of when the assault occurred and whether or not it was reported. Free. Call (706) 7245200. SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER is seeking donors to prevent a blood supply shortage. To donate, call 737-4551, 854-1880 or (803) 643-7996.

THE ACADEMY FOR LIFELONG LEARNING offers lectures, courses, field trips, discussion groups and community information seminars on a variety of topics to mature adults. For more information, contact the USC-Aiken Office of Continuing Education at (803) 641-3288. THE SENIOR CITIZENS COUNCIL OF GREATER AUGUSTA AND THE CSRA offers a variety of classes, including ballroom dance, aerobics, quilting, tai chi, Spanish, line dancing, bowling, bridge, computers, drama club/readers theatre and pinochle. For dates and times, phone 826-4480. SENIORNET provides adults age 50 and over education for and access to computer technology. Many different courses are offered. Contact the USC-Aiken Continuing Education Office at (803) 641-3563. SENIOR VOLUNTEERS NEEDED for new docent training program at the historic home of Nicholas Ware. Learn the fascinating history of Ware’s Folly and the families who lived there. All interested should call 722-5495. THE SENIOR CITIZENS COUNCIL offers many life enrich-

ment programs for senior citizens such as warm-up/resistance exercises and low-impact dance aerobics Monday, Wednesday and Friday; quilting classes Monday and Friday; line dancing Monday and Wednesday; Spanish Monday and Thursday and more. Call (706) 826-4480.

Augusta-Richmond County Civic Center Complex Upcoming Events

May 22 - July 13

Sports

Somore & All the Queen’s Men (Comedy Show) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . May 29 Southern Classic Feis (Irish) . . . . . . June 12 Turn Out the Stars Tour 2000 The Manhattans; Millie Jackson . . . . . . June 25 Gospel Showcase 2004 . . . . . . . . . July 10 Augusta Technical College Graduation . July 13 No Sex, Safe Sex, AIDS Prevention Youth Campaign . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . July 24

THE AUGUSTA VOLLEYBALL ASSOCIATION is looking for new members. For more information, visit www.augustavolleyball.com. THE AUGUSTA RUGBY CLUB is always looking for new members. Teams are available for women and men. No experience necessary. Practice is Tuesday and Thursday nights, 7-9 p.m. at Richmond Academy. For more information, (706) 729-9530 or (706) 394-2565. You may also visit www.augustarugby.org. ROCK-CLIMBING CLASSES are offered in the Carolina Bay Nature Preserve off Price Avenue in Aiken. There are also drop-ins on Fridays from 5:30-6:30 p.m. Call 642-7631.

Volunteer FORTE INTERNATIONAL EXCHANGE ASSOCIATION is in need of local host families for high school international exchange students for the 2004-2005 school year. For more information, contact Tracy Klemens, (678) 358-5890. PHINIZY SWAMP NATURE PARK VISITOR CENTER is in need of volunteers to greet visitors, hand out literature and sell merchandise. Volunteers must commit to one Saturday or Sunday each month, from either 9 a.m.-1 p.m. or 1-5 p.m. 828-2109. SOUTHERNCARE HOSPICE SERVICE is currently seeking volunteers to perform a variety of tasks, including relieving caregivers, reading to patients and running errands. Training is included. For additional information, contact Lisa Simpson, (803) 463-9888 or 869-0205. CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY NEW VOLUNTEER ORIENTATION PROGRAM the first and third Saturday of every month at the Pet Center, 425 Wood St. Orientation starts at 11 a.m. Volunteers under 18 years of age must have a parent or guardian present during orientation and while volunteering. Call 261-PETS for information. THE KITTY ORTIZ DE LEON FOUNDATION needs volunteers to help promote organ donor awareness. For more information, contact Cassandra Reed or Espy De Leon at 394-0838 or kodfoundation@aol.com. GOLDEN HARVEST FOOD BANK needs volunteers during the day, from 8:30 a.m.-4 p.m. Monday-Friday, to help sort donated products and assist in their agency shopping area. Help is needed year-round. If you are able to lift 25 pounds, can commit to at least 3-4 hours per month and would like to help fight hunger in the Augusta area, contact Laurie Roper at 736-1199, ext. 208. AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL: New volunteer orientation is scheduled the first Saturday of each month at 1 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Schedule subject to change; call 790-6836 to verify dates and times. RICHMOND COUNTY DEPARTMENT OF FAMILY AND CHILDREN SERVICES is seeking dependable foster parents to provide temporary housing, care and support for Georgia’s children. For more information, contact L. Lewis at 721-3718. MENTORS AND VOLUNTEERS needed to provide support for MACH Academy at the May Park Community Center and the Fleming Tennis Center. Education, tutoring and technology sessions held Monday-Thursday, 3-6 p.m. at each location. Tennis instruction and fitness activities held MondayThursday, 6-7 p.m. at May Park and Monday-Tuesday, 6-8 p.m., Friday, 6-8 p.m. and Saturday, 2-5 p.m. at the Fleming Center. 796-5046.

UNITED HOSPICE OF AUGUSTA is in need of volunteers to support terminally ill patients. Scheduling and training times are flexible. Call Donna Harrell at 650-1522 for information. THE ARTISTS’ CONSERVATORY THEATRE OF THE CSRA is looking for volunteer board members, actors and production crew. Call 556-9134 or e-mail act@theatermail.net.

Volunteers need no experience and will be provided with specialized training. Call 737-4631.

Community Center. For info, visit www.ckca.homestead.com or call (706) 860-5432.

CSRA GREYHOUND ADOPTIONS needs volunteers to foster retired racing greyhounds. Foster homes must have a fenced yard. All expenses are paid by CSRA Greyhound Adoptions. Call Sam Fulton at 854-0098.

THE CSRA LINUX USERS GROUP meets 6 p.m. every fourth Tuesday at Border’s Books and Music in the Target shopping center. E-mail augustalinux@comcast.net or call (706) 790-8439.

AUGUSTA FARMER’S MARKET ON BROAD STREET needs volunteers to manage the Main Street Augusta booth. Volunteers at this booth assist the market’s vendors by scheduling future dates at the market, receiving vendors, payments and passing out literature about downtown development. The Farmer’s Market also need volunteers to help set up and tear down the market, and demonstrators. Call. (706) 722-7245. WORLD HERITAGE is seeking families, couples or single parents who are adventurous, fun-loving, responsible and caring who are interested in hosting a high-school-aged foreign exchange students. Call (800) 888-9040.

Meetings THE METRO AUGUSTA FRISBEE DOG CLUB to begin meeting the last Sunday of the month. Call (706) 210-8577. Dogs and owners welcome. AUGUSTA SKI AND OUTING CLUB meets the first Tuesday of each month. Call (803) 279-6186. AUGUSTA NEWCOMERS CLUB holds a coffee meeting the first Tuesday of every month. Call (706) 650-1400. THE AUGUSTA CAVEMASTERS is the regional club for persons interested in cave exploration and conservation. They meet the first Thursday of every month at the Warren Road Community Center on Warren Road. Call (803) 278-2751. MEDITATION & BUDDHISM meetings through June at the UU Church of Augusta, Walton Way Extension, Tuesdays from 7-8:30 p.m. (No class 6/1.) Call (803) 256-0150 or visit www.MeditationInSouthCarolina.org. WOMEN ON WHEELS, the Georgia-Lina Chapter, meets the second Tuesday of each month. Dinner is at 6:30 p.m., with the meeting beginning at 7:30. Women on Wheels is a women’s motorcycle club which meets for recreation, education, support, recognition and to promote a positive image of motorcycling. Location changes monthly. For info, call (706) 855-7375. THE DANCES OF UNIVERSAL PEACE held the first Saturday of every month, 7-9 p.m., at the Unitarian Church of Augusta, honor the religious traditions of the world through song and movement. Call (803) 643-0460 for more information. “ROOTS OF GARDENING” SERIES presented by Georgia Golf Hall of Fame’s Botanical Gardens. The ABC’s of Planting is from 6:30-7:30 p.m. May 20, June 17, July 15, Aug. 19, Sept. 16 and Oct. 21. For info, call (706) 724-4443.

STORYTIME IN THE GARDENS will take place Tuesdays at 4 p.m. in May in Hopeland Gardens. For more information, call (803) 642-7631. THE CANOE & KAYAK CLUB OF AUGUSTA meets the fourth Tuesday of each month at 7 p.m. at the Warren Road

Voted Best Steak In Augusta For 15 Years 1987-2002

AUGUSTA GEM AND MINERAL SOCIETY meets every third Friday at 7:30 p.m. in the Georgia Military College Building on Davis Rd. For more information, call 547-0178. JOHN BIRCH SOCIETY OF AUGUSTA civic advocacy meeting every third Saturday from 10 a.m.-12 noon at Friedman Branch Library. For more information, contact Tonio at 373-3772. THE AIKEN COUNTY DEMOCRATIC PARTY will hold its monthly general membership meeting May 27 at 7 p.m. at the Aiken County Council Building. Guest speaker will be Don Fowler from Columbia, S.C., former Democratic National Committee chairman. Call (803) 641-4756.

Weekly

2856 Washington Rd. 73-STEAK 1654 Gordon Hwy. 796-1875

OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS meets every Sunday night, 7:30 p.m., at Holy Trinity Lutheran Church in North Augusta. For more information, call 278-5156. NAR-ANON FAMILY GROUP for relatives and friends of drug abusers. No dues or fees. The group meets Mondays at 7 p.m. Call for location. For information, contact Josie, 414-5576, or Lionel, 860-0302. GAMBLERS ANONYMOUS meets Thursdays, 7:30 p.m., in the basement of Fairview Presbyterian Church. Call 1-800-313-0170. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: For more information and a meeting schedule, call 860-8331. NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS: If you want to stop using any drugs, there is a way out. Help is available at no cost. Call the Narcotics Anonymous help line for information and meeting schedules at 855-2419. SEXAHOLICS ANONYMOUS, a 12-step program of recovery from addiction to obsessive/compulsive sexual thoughts and behaviors, meets Wednesdays at 8 p.m. at Christ Church Unity, 2301 Central Ave. Call 339-1204 and leave first name and phone number; a confidential reply is assured. AUGUSTA TOASTMASTERS CLUB #326 meets each Thursday at 7:30 p.m. at Advent Lutheran Church in Martinez. Learn communication and leadership skills. For more information, call 868-8431. CSRA BOGEY-WOOGIE (Yes, that’s spelled correctly – golf, get it?) Dance & Social will meet every Tuesday evening starting on June 8 at A World of Dance Studio, 3497 Wheeler Road, Augusta. Time is 7 p.m. Have fun with ballroom, shag, country, line dancing and more. For info, call 650-2396.

AUGUSTA BRAIN INJURY SUPPORT GROUP meets the second Thursday of every month, 6 p.m., at Walton West TLC. Brain injury survivors and their family members and caregivers are invited to attend. 737-9300. WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL AMPUTEE CLINIC for new and experienced prosthetic users meets the third Thursday of each month, 1-3 p.m. 722-1244.

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GUIDELINES: Public service announcements are listed in this section without charge at the discretion of the editor. Announcements must be received by Monday at noon and will be included as space permits. Send to Events, Metro Spirit, P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914 or fax (706) 733-6663. You may also e-mail listings to rhonda.jones@metrospirit.com or andy.stokes@metrospirit.com. Listings cannot be taken over the phone.

COURT APPOINTED SPECIAL ADVOCATE PROGRAM VOLUNTEER TRAINING: The CASA program is looking for volunteers 21 years of age and older to advocate for abused and neglected children in the juvenile court system.

THE SOUTH CAROLINA WATERCOLOR SOCIETY’S 27TH ANNUAL AWARDS EXHIBIT IS ON DISPLAY AT THE AIKEN CENTER FOR THE ARTS THROUGH JUNE 26.

* Arena • Bell

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

AUGUSTA/CSRA HABITAT FOR HUMANITY needs volunteers at ReStore, Walton Way and Tenth Street, to assist with receiving donations of new and used building and home improvement materials and warehousing them for sale to the public. The store is open Thursday-Saturday year-round. If you can commit eight or more hours per month, contact Steve Buck, 364-7637.

For information call 724-2400

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THE AUGUSTA ROWING CLUB is hosting Naitonal Learn To Row Day on Juen 12. Those age 14 and up are invited to come out and take a one-day course in rowing, and participate in a fun bike ride. Registration forms are located at www.augustarowingclub.org. Call 855-9710 for info.

Bomb Epic

Hollywood

Flix Must-See

Boring

Comedy Sleeper Oscar Pick Director Stars This Rocks Famous Silly

Masterpiece

Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London (PG) —

Bobby Jones: Stroke of Genius (PG) — Rowdy Herrington’s

Frankie Muniz, who is 18, playing 16 and at moments looks ripe to be 40, is agent Banks, a CIA operative on a covert mission to Britain. Kevin Allen directed like a giddy tourist, and the menu of Saturday daytime entertainment is served a bit more sharply than by the last “Spy Kids” romp. Cast: Frankie Muniz, Anthony Anderson, Hannah Spearritt, Cynthia Stevenson, Keith David. Running time: 1 hr., 24 mins. (Elliott) !!

movie further enshrines golfing legend Bobby Jones. An exalted amateur, he retired at 28 after winning 13 majors, including the only one-year “grand slam” (1930). He is played by two cute kids and then, grown, looks on the sad side of 30 in the gaunt visage of James Caviezel. There are some lovely courses, swell putts, drives where the camera flies with the ball, but the story is 18 holes of crisis: runner-up crisis, temper crisis, pressure crisis, varicose veins crisis, marital crisis ... “Fore!” haunted by “Bore!,” the film seldom gives much sense of the game’s pleasures or even the acute seductiveness of its agonies. Cast: James Caviezel, Jeremy Northam, Malcolm McDowell, Claire Forlani, Aidan Quinn. 1 hr., 52 mins. (Elliott) !!

runs the roots-deep Calvin Jr.’s Barbershop on Chicago’s South Side. Again, more talk rises than hair falls, though the scissors team from the 2002 hit has a new worry, a slick rival across the way. The best laughs come from Cedric the Entertainer as Eddie, with a broad beam and a ‘do to match. Eddie isn’t quite so rife with the riffs that won the first movie a little notoriety, but gets into a fine lipoff with the big beautician from down the street (Queen Latifah, offering an appetizer of her upcoming “Beauty Shop”). As long as it is simply being a barbershop, the gab has a razor-cut charm. Running time: 1 hr., 40 mins. (Elliott) !!1/2 stars.

Breakin’ All the Rules (PG13) – After Quincy (Jamie Foxx) is dumped by his fiancée Helen (Bianca Lawson) at their engagement party, his life reaches an emotional low. He quits his job and begins writing a letter to Helen to explain his feelings. The letter snowballs into a book, which is quickly published and becomes a runaway bestseller. When Quincy’s friend Evan (Morris Chestnutt) decides to end things with his girlfriend Nicky (Gabrielle Union), he persuades his friend, the expert to do the deed. The plot twist is that, in the process of delivering the message to Nicky, whom he has never met, Quincy somehow remains anonymous as to his connection to Evan and ends up falling for her.

Confederate soldier Inman (Jude Law) trudges back home to Cold Mountain, N.C. Waiting for him, he hopes, is the woman he briefly knew, Ada (Nicole Kidman), the polished daughter of a preacher (Donald Sutherland). It’s their unrequited love that draws Inman back, along with the land, and that keeps Ada going as she learns how to survive in the almost lawless country. Pushed along by old tunes that burr and rasp in the “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” mode, the movie has rhythm, but it overall feels like just one darn hard day after another. Cast:

r “Sh

Dreamworks

Cold Mountain (R) — Sick of the war, the wounded

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

ek 2”

RATINGS !!!! — Excellent

g n i s

Barbershop 2: Back in Business (PG-13) — Ice Cube

Funny

Not Bad

len” e H

Action

Drama

Tou chs ton eP ictu res

Awesome

“ R ai

Lame

Jude Law, Nicole Kidman, Renee Zellweger, Brendan Gleeson, Natalie Portman, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Donald Sutherland, Giovanni Ribisi. Running time: 2 hrs., 21 mins. (Elliott) !!1/2

Dawn of the Dead (R) —

Thanks to a plague, the United States is taken over by zombies. It pretty much follows the rules found in the “Zombie Codebook”: If killed by a zombie, one must return as one. Once turned into a zombie, one must seek fresh blood. One must also go to the mall. (To the mall?) The good guys, for some reason, think that the mall is a pretty neat place to be too. Needless to say, forces collide, with the good guys deciding to make a run for it to a (supposedly) safe island. But first, they have to get through a sea of the undead. Based upon the 1979 movie “Dawn of the Dead.” Cast: Sarah Polley, Ving Rhames, Mekhi Phifer, Michael Barry, Linday Booth, Ty Burrell, Jayne Eastwood, Michael Kellym, Jake Weber, Kevin Zegers, Tom Savini.

The Day After Tomorrow (PG-13) – This Roland Emmerich-directed

blockbuster centers on the popular end of the world plot. This time, long-term effects of greenhouse gasses have resulted in the opposite of what scientists have speculated: the onset of another ice age. Dennis Quaid plays Professor Adrian Hall, a paleoclimatologist who takes on the task of saving the planet from this impending demise of the human race and all of the natural disasters that go with it (hurricanes, tornadoes, tidal waves, earthquakes, etc.). Hall must also venture North in search of his son Sam (Jake

!!!— Worthy

!! — Mixed

! — Poor

Gyllenhall), in New York on an academic competition. Cast: Dennis Quaid, Jake Gyllenhall, Ian Holm, Sela Ward, Emmy Rossum.

50 First Dates (PG-13) —

Henry (Adam Sandler) is a vet at an aquarium in Hawaii and a serial seducer of island visitors, his policy being love ‘em and let ‘em leave. True love, of course, lies in wait. At a picturesque diner, he sees Lucy (Drew Barrymore), and it’s love at first sight. They hit it off wonderfully, but when they meet at the diner the next morning, she has no idea who he is. Henry learns that Lucy, following an accident the year before, has that favorite Hollywood malady, amnesia. The romantic aspects benefit from being contrasted to the comedy, which is oafish in the extreme. Oh, well — you can always look at the beautiful island scenery. Cast: Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore. (Britton) !! Hidalgo (PG-13) — Viggo Mortensen plays Frank Hopkins, who was an actual man and won a lot of long endurance races on a lot of horses. Mortensen’s Hopkins has seen something (the Wounded Knee massacre in 1890) that drops him into drink and depression. He drifts into showbiz, working for Buffalo Bill Cody, which sours him further because he’s part Indian and knows the show is a brazen travesty of the expiring Old West. But he has Hidalgo, the mustang. The look in his equine eye always says “I’m a star, buster,” and in his tough American way he’s ready for the challenge: the epic “Ocean of Fire” race across the Arabian desert, up through Iraq and to the sea. Nobody should become too sophisticated for this sort of entertainment, which delivers great-looking

0— Not worthy

HEALTH PAGE

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Beating the Clock on Strokes

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Take care of yourself. Let University help.

“HealthTalk” on WRDW Radio - 1630 AM Tune in on Monday, June 7 at 9:15 a.m. to hear Dr. Tania Serrano, a board-certified obstetrician and gynecologist who practices at University, discuss heart disease in minority women.

Log on to learn more! HealthMail offers you the opportunity to be notified via e-mail about upcoming events, offerings, news and updates of interest. All you have to do is sign up and choose which health topics interest you. You will then receive periodic e-mails about seminars, special events, current news and articles on your chosen topics. To sign up, visit www.universityhealth.org and click “HealthMail” at the top of the home page. You will not receive any e-mail notices unless you register, and you may remove your name from the list at any time.

A Celebration of Life

“The safest option for people experiencing one or more of these warning signs is to call 911 or have a relative drive them to an emergency room immediately,” says Dr. McGrade.

To reduce your risk of stroke, quit smoking, exercise and watch your diet. For more information on stroke or to find a physician, call University’s Heart Line at 706/8282828 or toll free at 866/601-2828.

University’s Stroke Unit Delivers Multidisciplinary Care

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University’s dedicated five-bed stroke unit offers multidisciplinary care, specialized nursing and early rehabilitation for stroke patients. Stroke units such as University’s have been shown to reduce lengths of stay, improve functional outcomes and save lives.

Your resource for healthy living. COMMUNITY EDUCATION Lunch & Learn/Pot Luck Club “Super Salads for the Summer” Kim Beavers, M.S., R.D., L.D., C.D.E. May 28 from noon-1:30 p.m. Community Resource Center 4106 Columbia Road Bring enough of your favorite dish for four and learn to prepare delicious and healthy summer salads. Reservations required. Call 706/868-3231 or 800/413-6652. “Prevention of Heart Disease in 2004” Paul Cundey Jr., M.D., cardiologist June 15 5:30-7:30 p.m. University Hospital Paul Cundey Jr., M.D., dining rooms 1-3 Cardiologist FREE. Dinner included. Reservations required. Call 706/868-3231 or 800/413-6652.

HEALTH INFORMATION , CALL

HEALTH SCREENINGS

Alzheimer’s Disease Second Tuesday each month June 8 at 7 p.m. Alzheimer’s Association Augusta Chapter 1899 Central Ave. For more information, call 706/731-9060.

Health Risk Assessment Daily Weight Management and Nutrition Center $35 per test To register or for more information, call 706/774-8917.

FREE Fresh Start Smoking Cessation Program Tuesdays June 8, 15, 22, 29 Sponsored by the American Cancer Society 7:30-8:30 a.m., or noon-1 p.m. University Hospital cafeteria Registration required. Call 706/774-8900.

Wellness Wednesdays June 2, 9, 16 from 9 a.m.-noon Community Resource Center 4106 Columbia Road FREE blood pressure, glucose and height and weight screenings. For Seniors Club members only. No appointment necessary. For information, call 706/868-3231 or 800/413-6652.

“Living Well With Diabetes” June 10 at 5 p.m. University Hospital Cafeteria or area restaurant For more information or location, call 706/774-5798.

SUPPORT GROUPS Cancer Share First Monday each month June 7 at 6 p.m. University Hospital, 10 West Family Room Registration required. For more information, call 706/774-8900.

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Know the Warning Signs • sudden numbness or weakness of the face, arm or leg, especially on one side of the body • sudden confusion or trouble speaking or understanding speech • sudden trouble seeing in one or both eyes • dizziness, sudden trouble walking or loss of balance or coordination • sudden severe headache with no known cause

Are You at Risk? You are at increased risk of stroke if you: • suffer from high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease or carotid artery disease • are 55 or older • have a family history of strokes • are African-American • have suffered a prior stroke or mini-stroke • smoke cigarettes • have a high red blood cell count • are physically inactive or obese

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

You and a guest are cordially invited to a luncheon honoring cancer survivors in celebration of National Cancer Survivors Day. Sunday, June 6 at 1 p.m. Radisson Riverfront Hotel Ballroom Guest speaker will be studio artist Lee Malerich. Reservations required and space is limited. R.S.V.P. by May 31 at 706/868-3231 or 800/413-6652. Exhibitor: Lee Malerich "Then and Now" Hosted in cooperation with Rabold Gallery

May is Stroke Awareness Month and a good time to review the risks and warning signs of stroke. Strokes are caused by clogged or ruptured blood vessels that block the flow of blood to the brain. When they occur, the Harold McGrade, M.D., immediate medical goal is to remove Neurologist the clot and restore blood flow before serious brain damage or death occurs. According to Harold McGrade, M.D., a board-certified neurologist and medical director of University’s Stroke Unit, a drug called tissue plasminogen activator, or tPA, may dissolve the blood clot and prevent brain damage. But tPA must be administered within three hours of the beginning of a stroke. Tragically, only about 5 percent of people who could benefit from tPA get to the hospital in time.

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (PG13) — lasts 200 minutes, and some of those

Universal

are long minutes. The last 20 can feel like an hour, for clearly creator Peter Jackson didn’t wish to let his saga go. Bernard Hill, Viggo Mortensen and Orlando Bloom are impressive fighters, and Cate Blanchett makes a gorgeous Galadriel. This is posing, not acting. Sir Ian McKellen acts very well as noble Gandalf, but lines about heart, courage and fate make him Lord Fortune Cookie. “Lord” is all epic, all the time. Jackson loves battles, which means hurling dense masses of mostly computerized fighters at one another. If the climax battle this time is more overpowering than the Helm’s Deep boggler in “Two Towers,” does it truly deepen the story? Maybe it is just more spectacle, as climaxes are stacked high and then the epic winds down with Elijah Woods as Frodo (now mildly matured) exiting sweetly, his destiny done. Cast: Ian McKellen, Elijah Wood, Cate Blanchett, Viggo Mortensen, Ian Holm, Orlando Bloom, Sean Astin. Running time: 3 hrs., 20 mins. !! Man on Fire (R) — Denzel Washington is Creasy, a veteran pro killer turned alcoholic and drifter. His old black-ops pal (Christopher Walken) gets him a Mexico City job guarding the precious Lupita “Pita” Ramos (Dakota Fanning), bilingual child of an American mom (Radha Mitchell) and rich Mexican father (Marc Anthony). We know Pita will be kidnapped by vile creeps, that the cops will prove corrupt or hapless, and that after taking bullets in his upper torso, Creasy will soon be on his feet as a revenge demon once a ransom plan goes wrong. If Creasy threw a snivelling thug on top of an Aztec altar and cut his heart out, it wouldn’t much surprise us. Nor does the “surprise” twist at the end. Cast: Denzel Washington, Dakota Fanning, Marc Anthony, Christopher Walken, Giancarlo Giannini, Mickey Rourke. Running time: 2 hrs., 10 mins. (Elliott) !1/2 Mean Girls (PG-13) — As Cady Heron, Lindsay Lohan is the new girl at a North Shore high school, fresh and remarkably adult after years in Africa with her parents. Cady discovers the school Balkanized among cliques, who hurl remarks rather than grenades. Cady, who seems haunted by the survival habits and water-hole imperatives of Old Africa, determines to join them. She’s pretty enough, even pliable enough to win the favor of Regina (Rachel McAdams), leader of the tiara twinks, aka “The Plastics,” and though there is a plan for Cady to subvert the group and

The Passion of the Christ (R) — Mel Gibson’s risky, passionate treatment

of Christ’s last 12 hours, long on fear and gore and agony, devils (even Satan), sadistic and/or guilty Romans, hatefully smug Jewish priests and, above all, the tormented face of Jim Caviezel as Jesus. Gibson uses heavy, hackneyed devices and naive tactics; he thinks a few brief flashbacks to benign gospel episodes can offset and illuminate the relentless flood of anguish and bloodshed, and he comes close to making this a rite of faith-based sadism. It is up to believers to decide if Gibson’s Jesus is their own, but since no actor can truly act the Son of God spiritually, Caviezel becomes a sacrificial offering. Cast: Jim Caviezel. Running time: 2 hrs. 7 mins. (Elliott) !!

The Prince and Me (PG) —

It’s about a fairy tale romance between Denmark’s Prince Edvard (Luke Mably) and an American farm girl turned workaholic U. of Wisconsin student, Paige (Julia Stiles). The plot twist is that Paige doesn’t know that “Eddie” is a prince, who has gone undercover as an exchange student. They have a quick, coy courtship, with fun on campus and Ed visiting her farm home, where he learns to milk a cow. Of course, photo pests arrive, and duty calls Edvard back to Copenhagen, and Paige follows. We also get James Fox as the old king, wanly noble and happy about Denmark getting a commoner queen (the old queen, Miranda Richardson, has doubts). Cast: Julia Stiles, Luke Mably, James Fox, Miranda Richardson. Running time: 1 hr., 41 mins. (Elliott) !!

Raising Helen (PG-13) –

Kate Hudson plays Helen Harris, a New York City socialite with a fashion career that keeps her busy and satisfied in the public eye. When her sister and brother-in-law tragically die, however, she finds that she was left to take care of their three children. Being one of New York’s elite means very little to the three kids, but Helen is determined that she can raise them and keep up her fastpaced lifestyle. When she develops a genuine affection for the kids and a romantic interest in their school principal, she is forced to choose between the jet-setting lifestyle she once knew and settling down as a parent. Cast: Kate Hudson, John Corbett, Joan Cusack, Hector Elizondo, Hellen Mirren. Secret Window (R) — Writer Mort Rainey (Johnny Depp), traumatized by divorce from Amy (Maria Bello), who’s taken up with her plot device of a lover (Timothy Hutton), is ready to become jellied putty for a grim rustic who trails Southern Gothic literary vines. John Shooter (John Turturro) shows up claiming that Rainey plagiarized a story of his, ruined the ending and deserves cruel payment. How, really, do you go wrong with actors like Turturro, Depp, Bello, Hutton and (as a private eye) Charles S. Dutton? By using them as spits for King’s brand of corn, roasted and then shoved down the gullets of the gullible. Cast: Johnny Depp, Maria Bello, John Turturro, Len Cariou, Timothy Hutton, Charles S. Dutton. (Elliott) !!

The algae colored ogre is back, and having already defeated Lord Farquaad’s armies and won the affection of Princess Fiona, Shrek must now face an greater challenge: pleasing his new in-laws. It turns out that Fiona’s family is royalty in a far away land and Fiona’s present state as an ogre is the result of a magic spell gone wrong. Naturally, Fiona’s blue-blooded family rejects Shrek solely on outward appearance, vowing to have their daughter cured of her condition and away from Shrek. Cast: The voices of Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, Antonio Banderas, John Cleese, Julie Andrews, Rupert Everett.

MGM

battling but loving divorce attorneys in New York. They meet cute, and treat the law as a form of repartee. They first get into bed together by getting drunk on Cuban booze, then rebound into scratchy bickering as if sex had barely registered. Of course, they are falling in love, and you can find the sporty delays, as the plot bobs and weaves, cleverly amusing or compulsively strained. What dampens the breeziness is the slightly mothballed feeling that this has all been done, before and better. Cast: Julianne Moore, Pierce Brosnan, Parker Posey, Frances Fisher, Michael Sheen. Running time: 1 hr., 45 mins. (Elliott) !!1/2

Shrek 2 (PG) –

e” n la P l

Laws of Attraction (PG13) — Julianne Moore and Pierce Brosnan are

undermine Regina, she blends in with almost lobotomized ease. This is one of the turn-on-adime plot comedies that has it both ways. “Mean Girls” has a wee plastic heart. And parts of it are quite funny. Cast: Lindsay Lohan, Rachel McAdams, Tim Meadows, Tina Fey, Lizzy Caplan. Running time: 1 hr., 35 mins. (Elliott) !!1/2

Soul Plane (R) –

“S o u

people and animals and action to stir your most youthful blood. Cast: Viggo Mortensen, Omar Sharif, Louise Lombard, Zuleika Robinson, Silas Carson. Running time: 2 hrs. (Elliott) !!!

In what may be the lowest point of artistic expression ever viewed or heard, music video director Jason Terrero makes his film debut about Dakwon Wade (Kevin Hart), a patron that sues an airline after a horrible onboard experience. He ends up winning $600 million out of the suit and decides to start NWA, an airline complete with an onboard dance club and sexy stewardesses. A white family with the last name “Hunkee” causes problems, preventing the flight from going smoothly. Cast: Kevin Hart, Tom Arnold, Snoop Dogg, Method Mann, Mo’nique.

Starsky & Hutch (PG-13) — Viewing "Starsky & Hutch" is embarrassing, like

watching Hollywood eat a cadaver in order to stay alive. It uses Ben Stiller as cop Dave Starsky and Owen Wilson as cop Ken Hutchinson, a nervous straight-arrow and a blithe screw-around shoved together by barking Capt. Doby (Fred Williamson). At first hating each other, they bond as dude partners. There are drugs and cash and cars and whores (or "hostesses"), all filmed in the bleached yet florid visual cliches of bad '70s TV and films. The soundtrack digs retro vibes right into the grave. S&H underline and undermine every plot turn with a vaguely nostalgic, inanely satirical emphasis. Movies don't have to be like this. Hollywood, please listen: There is no reason on the planet for movies this bad. Cast: Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughn, Juliette Lewis, Snoop Dogg, Fred Williamson, Chris Penn. Running time: 1 hr., 36 mins.

13 Going on 30 (PG-13) —

Shana Dowdeswell plays Jenna Rink, hitting 13, bright and shy, eager to run with the sarcastic fox pack at school. On Jenna's birthday, they inflict a wretched trick on her and the pudgy boy who yearns to date her. After a sprinkle of magic dust, she is suddenly about 30 in New York City, a rising novice editor at chick-chic Poise. And Jenna is now Jennifer Garner. The cute and pudgy boy is now Mark Ruffalo, still cute, less pudgy, treating his talent like a warm puppy. Weirdly, her new chum is her main rival at the magazine, the former queen of the fox pack now become Judy Greer. Enjoy the actors, lightly, but suspend all thought. Cast: Jennifer Garner, Mark Ruffalo, Kathy Baker, Judy Greer, Phil Reeves. Running time: 1 hr., 32 mins. (Elliott) !! Troy (R) – Orlando Bloom is Paris, Prince of Troy, who falls in love with Helen, Queen of Troy (Diane Kruger). However, Helen is wed to King Menelaus

(Brendan Gleeson,) whose brother, the power-hungry Agamemnon, uses Helen and Troy’s infidelity to expand his empire by invading Troy. Brad Pitt is Achilles, the powerful warrior ally to Agamemnon who represents a worthy adversary to Priam, (Peter O’Toole) King of Troy’s defending army. Van Helsing (PG-13) — Hugh Jackman is Gabriel Van Helsing, the world’s greatest and most successful monster hunter. He’s sent to Transylvania to help Anna Valerious (Beckinsale) battle a dream-team monster army. Upon his speedy arrival, he finds that Count Dracula has recruited every monster from history, leaving none for a possible sequel. Cast: Hugh Jackman, Kate Beckinsale, Richard Roxburgh, David Wenham, Will Kempe. Walking Tall (PG-13) — is "dedicated to the memory of Sheriff Buford Pusser," the hero subject of 1973's "Walking Tall." Now there is Chris Vaughn, former Special Forces rock played by the Rock (Dwayne Douglas Johnson). The Washington state town to which veteran Chris returns has a new and gaudy casino not far from the sadly closed lumber mill. The casino king and town master is blond and blocky, played like a Northwest Nazi by Neal McDonough. His goons also sell drugs, and after Chris' nephew tries some bad stuff, Chris goes on a bashing rampage. Soon, he is elected sheriff. Chris fondly remembers "the smell of fresh cedar" at the mill, and it is a grand slab of cut cedar he uses to slam heads, backs, legs and guts. The real love is that of the audience for Chris' indignant rages, his glorious and glowering ability to inflict mayhem while also trashing property. Cast: The Rock, Johnny Knoxville, Neal McDonough.

You Got Served (PG-13) — Elgin and David are best friends who are serious about their hobby: urban street dancing. When another town’s top group challenges them to a dancing competition, the boys must create new, cutting-edge moves to stay in the game. Cast: Marques Houston, Omari Grandberry, Jennifer Freeman, Jarrell Houston, Dreux Frederic.

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

NOW OPEN

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Kate Hudson Discusses Her New Roles — On- and Off-Screen Mom By Joey Berlin

through. But I think women, even if they don’t have children, can always tap into that motherly instinct. I just know it a little better now. Q: From what we see on-screen, you and your co-star, Joan Cusack, must have had so much fun working together. A: Joan Cusack is so fantastic, and we immediately hit it off. I felt like she was a missing part of my family, you know? She just reminded me so much of what I grew up with, and we laughed every day. She has the most fantastic children and husband. I just love what she’s all about. She does her work, she loves it and she’s great at it. And she goes home to Chicago and is a mom. I can relate to that. I learned so much from her. She’s such a comedian. It’s just great to watch, great to work with. Oh man, I’m a big fan of Joan Cusack! Q: Do you remember one particular moment during filming that had a special meaning for you personally? A: Well personally, the sweetest moment making the film was when the kids were done filming all their scenes. I was just so emotional because it was so difficult for us all to say goodbye. We just hugged forever and we sat around and I told them I loved them. It really made the whole experience that much more special, to know that those kids took something from that experience, you know? Q: Did you ever worry that your career would keep you from having children? A: I feel that more complicated roles come when you’re older. Right now, at my age, it’s a transition time where you can’t really play a mom and you can’t really play a lawyer, you know? So the roles are few and far between. I felt like, why not have a family now? I’m young, I have all the time to wait on characters and stories that I’d like to tell, and I don’t want to burn out too young and too fast. I want to be a mom now. To me, having a family is everything. That’s how I look at it. It’s about enjoying every day as a career mom. Q: Would you like to have more children? A: I would love to have more children, yeah. I will definitely have more kids! How about that for an answer?

Eighth Street Bulkhead - 8 p.m. – 9:30 p.m. Join us each Sunday along the banks of the Savannah River for an enchanted evening of jazz. Admission is $5.00.

May 31 - Memorial Day Concert Jessye Norman Amphitheater - 7 p.m. Join the Augusta Concert Band for a grand celebration on the River for Memorial Day.

June 2, 9, 16, 23, 30 - Downtown Lunch Date Augusta Common Noon – 1:30 p.m. Lunch and musical entertainment in the Common every Wednesday, featuring a local restaurant and talent from all over the region.

June 4, 11, 18, 25 - Movies at the Common Augusta Common 9 p.m. Do not miss the excitement of “Movies at the Common” featuring movies the entire family will enjoy. Admission is $1.00

July 3, 10, 17, 24, 31 - Soulful Saturdays Augusta Common 8 p.m. Come out to an eclectic night of visual art, poetry and music at the Common, featuring the best local and regional poets and authors of our time. Admission is $5.00.

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METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004 35

Copley News Service/Photo courtesy of Ren Batzdorff

ate Hudson portrays maternal ineptitude convincingly in “Raising Helen,” a light comedy about a single woman charged with caring for her late sister’s three children. Had she filmed the movie a few months later, though, her performance may not have rung so true. Soon after filming wrapped, Hudson and her rock star husband, Chris Robinson, learned she was finally pregnant. And in January, she gave birth to Ryder Russell Robinson, her first child. The 25-year-old daughter of Goldie Hawn, Hudson has her first stand-alone starring role in the simple and sweet “Raising Helen.” She plays a self-absorbed up-and-comer in Manhattan’s fashion world. Suddenly, she has to deal with the aftermath of a tragic car crash and gains custody of three children who are a little too eager to grow up. But with director Garry Marshall behind the camera, don’t bet against a happy ending. Q: In what ways can you relate to your character in “Raising Helen”? A: The film is really about her growth. She goes from a girl whose life is just beginning to a girl who has to realize that even though her life’s been turned inside out and she’s been given these kids, it’s still the beginning of her life. It has just been accentuated by three very fabulous kids who she needs to discover. It’s funny and it’s sad, and I relate to a lot about it. I relate to her inability to so quickly juggle her job, her life and her romantic life, with having kids. It’s a difficult thing to do. And it’s also an admirable thing to do, to take on that kind of role. Q: Now that you are a mom yourself, do you look back and have a different perspective on this movie? A: I try not to do that or else with every movie I’ll ever do, I will constantly think about how I could’ve done something differently. So I say goodbye to the movie when I leave it. I wash my hands of what I have done and try not to look back. But at the time, I knew I was going to have a baby because I was trying to have a baby with my husband. Of course, that’s a little different than all of a sudden being in a studio apartment with three kids that are 15, 10 and 7. That’s a little more shocking than what I went

May 30 & June 6, 13, 20, 27 - Candlelight Jazz

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METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

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oland Emmerich is no stranger to the apocalypse. The Hollywood writer/director specializes in films about mass destruction — some of his past efforts have included forgettable films of mayhem like “Godzilla” and “Universal Soldier.” Of course Emmerich is best known for is his 1996 smash hit “Independence Day.” Released Fourth of July weekend in 1996, Emmerich’s blockbuster pitted an unlikely theme — a quasi-successful attack on mankind by a horde of aliens — as fodder for a big-budget action movie. But with its “Top Gun”-like air battles and Schwarzenegger-ish one-liners (uttered by its star, Will Smith), “Independence Day” was your average blockbuster; the difference was that the happy ending came after three quarters of the globe had been zapped. Emmerich is back again with a rousing tale of global annihilation but, surprisingly, this latest effort yields something fun, amusing and even a little intelligent. In “The Day After Tomorrow,” a scenario is played out in which the catastrophic effects of global warming cause the most horrifying snowstorm ever witnessed. As explained by the film’s hero, climatologist Jack Hall (Dennis Quaid), one possible result of global warming is that it will cause a massive climate shift. With temperatures continually rising and polar ice caps melting, the Earth could suddenly undergo a cataclysmic weather change unlike anything seen for thousands of years: a second ice age. When the unthinkable starts happening — snow in New Delhi, lethal hail storms in Hong Kong, violent tornadoes in Los Angeles — Hall’s academic theory is quickly proven a bleak reality and suddenly the world doesn’t have a few centuries to fight the cold, it has a few days. As the globe is summarily devoured by the shocking cold — people freeze the moment they go outside and massive flooding quickly turns to snow and ice — Jack attempts to trek

from Washington, D.C., to New York City to save his teenage son (Jake Gyllenhaal), who has holed himself in the New York Public Library with a small group of strangers. Although “The Day After Tomorrow” has a simple, pointed moral, it is nonetheless a valuable one. If anything, it’s refreshing to see a film that could actually shock people into awareness. Of course, putting aside the blunt moral stance of the movie, Emmerich’s film wryly comments on the current White House administration and makes some amusing political jabs along the way. The president is played as an ineffectual patsy who relies entirely on his VP for decisions. In one of the funnier moments in the film, the president gets word about the destruction in L.A. and immediately turns to his second-in-command and says, “What should we do?” Emmerich also manages to turn apocalyptic matters into fodder for the most unexpected political scenarios — at one point Mexico closes its borders to stop American immigrants, trying to escape the lethal cold front descending from the north, from crossing its border and illegally entering the country. Although “Day After Tomorrow” doesn’t avoid the fantastic (Dennis Quaid’s rugged scientist manages to brave the ghastly weather armed with little more than a yellow tent and a fancy parka), it’s impressive and, at times, beautiful to watch. Emmerich fills the movie with memorable imagery — from a sky full of birds that fly overhead before the storm hits to visuals of the Manhattan skyline covered by a massive bed of snow. Of course the human dramas are what really carry us through the storm. More invigorating than the father-son tale is the love story that plays out between Gylenhaal, the real star of the film, and his high-school crush who is thankfully trapped along with him. Emmerich manages the slyest joke of all in creating a film about the apocalypse that doubles as the ultimate sweet high-school fantasy: You’re stuck inside with the cutest girl in school on the longest snow day ever.

REGAL AUGUSTA EXCHANGE 20

EVANS 14 CINEMAS

Movies Good 5/28 – 6/3

The Day After Tomorrow (PG-13)

Day After Tomorrow (PG-13) Fri-Sat:

12:30, 1:30, 3:30, 4:30, 6:15, 7:30, 9:00, 10:10 Raising Helen (PG-13) 1:20, 3:50, 7:00, 9:40 Soul Plane (R) 12:35, 2:50, 5:05, 7:40, 9:55 Shrek 2 (PG) 12:15, 1:00, 1:45, 2:30, 3:15, 4:00, 4:45, 5:30, 6:30, 7:15, 8:00, 8:45, 9:30 Troy (R) 12:45, 2:15, 4:15, 5:45, 7:45, 9:15 Van Helsing (PG-13) 1:10, 4:05, 6:50, 9:50 New York Minute (PG) 12:55, 3:05, 5:15 Laws of Attraction (PG-13) 4:20, 10:00

Movies Good 5/28-6/3

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METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

10:20, 10:50, 11:20, 11:50, 1:10, 1:40, 2:10, 2:40, 4:00, 4:30, 5:00, 5:30, 6:50, 7:20, 7:50, 8:20, 9:40, 10:10, 10:40, 11:20, 12:30; Sun: 10:20, 10:50, 11:20, 11:50, 1:10, 1:40, 2:10, 2:40, 4:00, 4:30, 5:00, 5:30, 6:50, 7:20, 7:50, 8:20, 9:40, 10:10, 10:40, 11:20; Mon: 10:20, 10:50, 11:20, 11:50, 1:10, 1:40, 2:10, 2:40, 4:00, 4:30, 5:00, 5:30, 6:50, 7:20, 7:50, 8:20, 9:40, 10:10, 10:40; Tue-Thur: 1:10, 1:40, 2:10, 2:40, 4:00, 4:30, 5:00, 5:30, 6:50, 7:20, 7:50, 8:20, 9:40, 10:10, 10:40 Raising Helen (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 10:40, 11:55, 1:30, 2:30, 4:20, 5:10, 7:15, 7:50, 10:00, 10:30, 12:40; Sun: 10:40, 11:55, 1:30, 2:30, 4:20, 5:10, 7:15, 7:50, 10:00, 10:30; Mon-Thur: 11:55, 1:30, 2:30, 4:20, 5:10, 7:15, 7:50, 10:00, 10:30 Soul Plane (R) Fri-Sat: 10:15, 10:45, 1:00, 1:45, 3:20, 4:00, 5:35, 7:25, 7:55, 9:35, 10:05, 11:45; Sun-Mon: 10:15, 10:45, 1:00, 1:45, 3:20, 4:00, 5:35, 7:25, 7:55, 9:35, 10:05; Tues-Thur: 1:00, 1:45, 3:20, 4:00, 5:35, 7:25, 7:55, 9:35, 10:05 Shrek 2 (PG) Fri-Sat: 9:45, 10:05, 10:35, 11:05, 11:25, 11:45, 12:05, 12:25, 12:45, 1:05, 1:25, 1:45, 2:05, 2:25, 2:45, 3:05, 3:25, 3:45, 4:05, 4:25, 4:45, 5:05, 5:25, 5:45, 6:05, 6:30, 7:00, 7:30, 8:00, 8:30, 9:00, 9:25, 9:55, 10:25, 10:55, 11:20, 11:45, 12:15; Sun: 9:45, 10:05, 10:35, 11:05, 11:25, 11:45, 12:05, 12:25, 12:45, 1:05, 1:25, 1:45, 2:05, 2:25, 2:45, 3:05, 3:25, 3:45, 4:05, 4:25, 4:45, 5:05, 5:25, 5:45 6:05, 6:30, 7:00, 7:30, 8:00, 8:30, 9:00, 9:25, 9:55, 10:25, 10:55, 11:20, 12:15; Mon: 9:45, 10:05, 10:35, 11:05, 11:25, 11:45, 12:05, 12:25, 12:45, 1:05, 1:25, 1:45, 2:05, 2:25, 2:45, 3:05, 3:25, 3:45, 4:05, 4:25, 4:45, 5:05, 5:25, 5:45, 6:05, 6:30, 7:00, 7:30, 8:00, 8:30, 9:00, 9:25, 9:55, 10:25, 10:55, 12:15; Tues-Thur: 11:45, 12:05, 12:25, 12:45, 1:05, 1:25, 1:45, 2:05, 2:25, 2:45, 3:05, 3:25, 3:45, 4:05, 4:25, 4:45, 5:05, 5:25, 5:45, 6:05, 6:30, 7:00, 7:30, 8:00, 8:30, 9:00, 9:25, 9:55, 10:25, 10:55 Breakin’ All the Rules (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 11:00, 1:15, 3:20, 5:40, 7:50, 10:05, 12:10, 12:15; Sun-Mon: 11:00, 1:15, 3:20, 5:40, 7:50, 10:05; Tues-Thur: 1:15, 3:20, 5:40, 7:50, 10:05 Troy (R) Fri-Sat: 9:45, 1:10, 4:40, 7:00, 7:40, 8:10, 10:30, 11:10, 11:40; Sun: 9:45, 1:10, 4:40, 7:00, 7:40, 8:10, 10:30, 11:10; Mon-Thur: 1:10, 4:40, 7:00, 7:40, 8:10, 10:30 Van Helsing (PG-13) Fri-Mon: 10:10, 1:20, 4:35, 7:35, 10:35; Tues-Thur: 1:20, 4:35, 7:35, 10:35 Mean Girls (PG-13) Fri-Mon: 9:55, 12:25, 2:50, 5:10, 7:45, 10:45; TuesThur: 12:25, 2:50, 5:10, 7:45, 10:45 Man on Fire (R) 12:30, 3:50, 7:05, 10:15

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Drive-By Truckers ... The Dirty South Will Rise Again By Andy Stokes

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METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

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y now, the buzz on a band like Drive-By Truckers is so loud that it’s turned to white noise. They’re fearless, their work ethic is exemplary and the songs are pretty good, too. Just as much as any other group in the genre is able, Drive-By Truckers play alt-country music just as Hank intended. It’s genuine, and the proof is found in that chief songwriter Patterson Hood’s father is Adam Hood, longtime bassist for the Muscle Shoals Rhythm Section. (He can be heard playing the famous bass line to the classic “I’ll Take You There” by The Staple Singers.) Adam Hood has played with such greats as J.J. Cale, Delbert McClinton and the late Duane Allman. Patterson Hood began writing songs at age 8, and to this day claims to have written over 3,000 of them. After a brief, moderately successful stint in a punk-inspired band called Adam’s House Cat with Mike Cooley, Hood relocated from Alabama to Athens, GA. Cooley followed him there, and in 1996 the two formed the Drive-By Truckers. On Soul Dump, a relatively small label with limited distribution, Drive-By Truckers released their first two albums, 1998’s “Gangstabilly” and 1999’s “Pizza Deliverance” to little recognition, commercial or critical. It was on “Pizza Deliverance” that the spark of Hood’s songwriting would ignite into a small flame. A substantial live following did grow behind the band as word of their raucous, staggering concerts, which wrecked both stage and audience, spread. For their third album, Drive-By Truckers, in response to the positive feedback about their live sets, released 1999’s “Alabama Ass Whuppin’.” The aptly titled live disc catches the band in their element, playing broken countryrock for sloppy drunk barflies. Not since Uncle Tupelo or even X had alt-country been done so well and with so much energy, and Drive-By Truckers were poised for a major breakthrough.

Just like Pete Townshend in the wake of “The Who Sell Out” and on the eve of releasing “Tommy,” Hood took a risky venture in the making of 2001’s “Southern Rock Opera.” It could’ve been taken as a joke, and without the driving guitars, heartfelt songwriting and meaningful tribute to Lynyrd Skynyrd, the album may have flopped. Instead, it’s now hailed as Hood’s opus. The album follows the story of a Southern teen who grows up in a town that reveres its sports stars more than rock stars. As he grows, he eventually becomes the rock star he once idolized, right down to the fiery plane crash. The double album does more than pay tribute to a fallen musical legacy: It takes an objective look at the South while making genuine, not contrived, Southern music. Here, all of the stigmas and ghosts of the South are touched upon, whether it’s Bear Bryant, Neil Young or General George Wallace. It’s an important record, and one that puts Hood and his band alongside The Allman Brothers and Lynyrd Skynrd as one of the great Southern rock bands. With 2003’s “Decoration Day,” Drive-By Truckers solidified their foothold in the genre, releasing an equally worthy follow-up. Like “Southern Rock Opera,” “Decoration Day” was a solid mix of drunken, bitter ballads and rockers; the topics of some just have to be heard to be believed. The concert is the same — to understand the ferocity and intensity of a Drive-By Truckers concert, you simply have to be there.

Who: Drive-By Truckers When: Saturday May 29 Where: Imperial Theatre Cost: $15 Info: www.drivebytruckers.com

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METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

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music

Practice Makes Progression for Distal

eated amid the handful of regulars and the eyestinging, smoke-filled air at the Firehouse on a Monday night are threefourths of post-hardcore band Distal. They’ve just come from touching up what will be the group’s first recordings, just across the river at their North Augusta studio. Now, they’ve settled into a routine of random interactions and keen observations of the downtown weeknight. One bar patron has taken on the grand project of syncing up every Dropkick Murphys song in the jukebox to play in the best sequence possible, so punk rock with bagpipes and (Boston) Celtic chanting fill the vast empty spaces of the bar. On the television over bassist Steven Bannister’s right shoulder, Mel Gibson is desperately clinging to the front grille of a 1988 Ford F-150 in “Lethal Weapon.” Minutes later, still to the Dropkick Murphys soundtrack, the evil driver of that truck will be decapitated by a surfboard. Helmet’s “Meantime” or Quicksand’s “Slip” — both available on the jukebox — would have been a more suitable aural backdrop to the random topics of discussion, given the seven or so songs that Distal have conceived so far. Clearly winding down, bassist Steven Bannister, guitarist Blaine Prescott and drummer Eric Kinker joke of the chemical makeup of Skittles (specifi-

cally bone marrow), Jason Newstead’s failed post-Metallica exploits and postmodernist fiction writers. Almost exactly 24 hours earlier, all four members tore through the entirety of their growing catalogue at a North Augusta practice space. Guitarist and vocalist Laddie Williams — the most serious one — displayed a near bipolar ability to shift between a mildly agitated chant and a full-on roar. Distal’s music follows a similar pattern with a slow build-up, as most songs stretch well beyond five minutes to achieve the desired clamor. The songs begin as peaceful lulls, but give way to cataclysms of twin guitar punch and stabbing drum rolls. Prescott bends feedback into solos like a young Ritchie Blackmore. To say that Distal has considerable volume is an understatement: Anyone who has heard them play probably still has ringing ears. This prog-rock approach brings to mind, of course, Pink Floyd, King Crimson and later Tool, but Helmet and Jawbox become more suitable comparisons when Williams and Prescott step on their distortion pedals. What could draw comparisons to such post-alt heavyweights could be lent to previous time spent honing skills in other groups. In the late ‘90s, Williams was frontman for Pine and Fountainhead, two groups that played out before there was even much of a downtown scene to play to.

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By Andy Stokes This was the first band I’ve played with in five years,” says Williams. “(In that time off) I didn’t play music at all. When it was the right time, I’d know.” Bannister and Rinker had plenty of experience as rhythm sections at various times for both Gearbox and Cycle, two more hard-rocking local groups with a more recent history. It was when Williams came into a music store where Bannister worked that he got the idea to get together and play. “I said ‘Laddie, you were in Pine? Eric and I played in Gearbox and Cycle, and we loved that Pine stuff, so if you’re playing again, let us know,” laughs Bannister. “I think it was about eight months before he came back in.” In January, after a few months of practicing as a trio, Williams felt the need for a second guitarist. The three quickly decided on former DieAgnostic guitarist Blaine Prescott, who, with DieAgnostic, had supplied some the hardest-hitting chords in Augusta. Now, with only one live show to their credit, a Soul Bar gig about two months ago, Distal have ducked back into their practice space for several months to tighten up their originals, and to hammer out some new ones. Williams is confident that Augusta will be receptive to Distal and of the music they’re playing. “We definitely don’t try to come across as presenting ourselves as anything more than everyday people.”

TONIGHT!!

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004 40

Who: Distal When: June 3 Where: Soul Bar

THE CONCERT IS AT

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LADDIE WILLIAMS AND BLAINE PRESCOTT, WORKING OUT THE KINKS AT THEIR PRACTICE SPACE.

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Karhy Tripp, Dav e Miller, Maria Pa ngilinan, and Andromeda Jones at Coconuts , May 16.

Ian and Tricie Scholer at Stillwater Tap Room May 16.

Barry Pousman, Jenn ifer Blair, and at The Israel Experi Jordan Estroff ence, Augusta Jewish Comm unity Center, May 16 .

Bobbie Marucut (sitting), Perry Anderson, Lauren Heath, Astrud Marucut and Laurel Clark at TGI Fridays, May 16.

k A lbrecht Eric Martin, Zac , Israel Experience he T at az rn lva and Joe A ay 16. munity Center, M m Co sh wi Je ta us Aug

gs ham, Katherin Big ing tt ri B ill W , Carolyn Carter at and Amy Patrick ’ show, May 21. the Drivin’ & Cryin

Kevin Suh, Sam Smith, Liza Gonzales and James Pendley at 8-Trax Bar & Grill, May 21.

Photos by Michael E. Johnson

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

Stefani and Thomas Raborn at the Drivin’ & Cryin’ show, The Imperial Theatre, May 21.

at Robyn S nead nd A n ur hb s A Heath , May 16. T he Blind Pig

music

CD Reviews

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By Andy Stokes

Gomez — Split the Difference (Virgin)

Patterson Hood — Killers and Stars (New West)

Gomez exists as an anomaly among their British contemporaries. It’s essentially an island composed entirely of musicians following the leads of Radiohead, The Smiths, The Stones or Massive Attack, to make an extremely oversimplified statement. (Mentioning The Beatles’ influence is a waste of breath: No musician can even pick up an instrument without being influenced by them.) Then, there’s Gomez, a proven five-piece with influences from all over, but most noticeably rooted in the land where popular music began: The American South. Whether it’s a solid blues stomp, Dixieland shuffle, old West ballad or pure rock standby, Gomez’s five-album-deep catalogue stands as testament to their genuine love of American-born blues. It should also be noted that, while legendary British electric blues bands like The Yardbirds, Butterfield Blues Band and Cream did have a genuine love for the same music, it was original psychedelic blues, a brand quite dissimilar to Gomez’s adoration of Delta blues mixed with late-era Beatles. But on their last outing, 2002’s “In Our Gun,” Gomez attempts to modernize their sound, and were it not for their consistency of redeeming elements — Ollie Peacock’s wildly innovative drumming, Ben Ottewell’s richly strained pipes and especially the brilliance of their collective songwriting abilities — the album’s analog zaps may have put off a large portion of Gomez’s fan base. Nothing appears to be lost, though. Gomez is now on the Bonnaroo roster, and they can sell out headlining shows even in Atlanta. For any wrongdoing on “In Our Gun,” and it is minimal, “Split the Difference” begs for forgiveness as a return to the traditional Gomez. They bypass using processed sounds, instead functioning as a guitar group. Tchad Blake, the first outside producer Gomez has worked with, is like a sixth band member. The structure of the songs never leave anything to be desired; it is only in the delivery that Gomez gets lost. “Split the Difference” is the album they’ve always threatened to make, though, and their acceptance will likely see exponential growth in coming months.

Drive-By Truckers front man Patterson Hood offers this 12-song collection of 4track recordings, all written and recorded by Hood in his living room in 2001. The Drive-By Truckers album recorded closest to this solo outing was the livewire “Southern Rock Opera,” labeled a masterpiece upon delivery and still receiving critical acclaim three years later. By all rights, “Southern Rock Opera” is a landmark album. Besides making Drive-By Truckers a household name, it brings to light a view of the South not seen even by some who live there. This new Southern pride preached about idolizing Lynyrd Skynyrd without becoming cliché and turned ballads into elaborate and heartbreaking character studies, all without ever condescending to the South. Despite what was going on with the emerging popularity of his band in 2001, Hood is found on “Killers and Stars” operating on a lower emotional plane than he did with his band. There are no VanZant salutes and no triumphant guitar marches into rock oblivion. There’s, in fact, nothing but Hood and his acoustic, and occasionally some layered harmonies. The structure may remind some of Bruce Springsteen’s “Nebraska,” and there are more similarities between these two albums than just in their stripped-down layout. “Killers and Stars,” like “Nebraska,” is probably just a sketchpad of work intended for later rerecording. But, like so many demo albums through the years, the proofs are actually superior to any studio treatment. Opener “Uncle Disney” and “Belinda Carlisle Diet” display Hood’s continuing ability to meld a highly original and elaborate joke into a standard country scale. “Old Timer’s Disease,” “Rising Son” and “Phil’s Transplant” remind us of how Hood can pull a unique, (possibly) fictionalized tale out of thin air and make it into a meaningful tune. “Cat Power” reveals a crush he has, or at least had, on Chan Marshall. These are all qualities that carry over from Drive-By Truckers, but the acoustic setting lays the songs bare and carries some of the weaker melodies. Hood’s decision to release these songs without reworking them was a good one.

music by turner

t will be an evening never to be forgotten. Augusta radio legend TONY POWERS will be honored at GreenJackets Stadium Thursday night, May 27. Powers, a 35-year vet of the radio biz in Augusta, Atlanta and Minneapolis, is one of the most highly regarded personalities in Augusta radio history. Tony was the guiding light behind album-rock pioneers WAUG-FM and Augusta’s much-missed Channel Z and was a founding member of the Mad Music Asylum with yours truly in 1974. Powers, a wide-receiver who starred for Graniteville’s high school football team in the late ‘60s, will throw out the first pitch before the game against the Rome Braves. Many of Powers’ friends will be there to for the festivities, some flying or driving thousands of miles for the game. Tony’s many fans can view pictures from his extraordinary career at tonypowers.com where they can also post messages for one of the most talented and finest people that I have ever known. Be there for Tony May 27!

All Roads Lead to Athens Dept. This years Athfest will take place June 17-20 in downtown Athens. It’s a laid-back music and arts festival that this year features CAMPER VAN BEETHOVEN as the outdoor headliner for Friday, June 18. Held on Washington Street in front of the famed 40 Watt Club, this year’s event also spotlights STEWART AND WINFIELD, BEN MIZE, REHAB and ‘60s faves THE JESTERS.

B Y

E D

New discs in stores this week include jazz great GEORGE BENSON’s “Irreplaceable,” DAVE BRUBECK’s “Private Brubeck Remembers,” THE CARDIGANS’ “Long Gone Before Daylight,” THE CORRS’ “Borrowed Heaven,” EVERLAST’s “White Trash Beautiful,” AVRIL LAVIGNE’s “Under My Skin,” SLIPKNOT’s “Volume 3” and WILSON PHILLIPS’ “California.” Turner’s Quick Notes Dept. It just keeps gettin’ better and better — Congrats to DON POWERS and everyone involved at the Activities Council in Thomson for another very successful Blind Willie Blues Festival … Look for the FINN BROTHERS of SPLIT ENZ and CROWDED HOUSE fame to reunite this summer for an album and a tour … Another unreleased DEAD show from 1972 “Rockin’ the Rhein” in the stores now … “5 Boroughs,” the first newie from the BEASTIE BOYS drops June 15 … PHISH has “Undermine,” their 11th studio offering out in mid-June … RICKIE LEE JONES performs at the Atlanta Botanical Garden June 6. Turner’s Rock ‘n’ Roll Jeopardy A. This band had a cameo in “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure.” Q. Who is Twisted Sister?

DON HENLEY will get away from his pals in THE EAGLES this summer (you can only put up with JOE WALSH for so long, y’know) to tour the U.S. The singing drummer visits Atlanta’s Chastain Park June 30 performing hits from his solo albums as well as a smattering of Eagles’ tunes.

NORAH JONES will hit the road this summer for a brief U.S. tour. Yes, Atlanta is included in her plans with an Aug.14 show scheduled for Chastain Park. Her latest disc “Feels Like Home” has sold 3 million copies to date in the U.S. and recently held down the No. 1 spot on the Billboard album charts for an amazing six weeks.

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music minis Nothing Much New Going On… Tuesday, Courtney Love pled guilty to cocaine abuse and agreed to enter drug treatment. A court agreement stated that Love would not spend time in jail if she successfully completed the rehabilitation program. Other charges of disorderly conduct were also dropped as part of the deal. Two more stamps on her punch card, and she should get her next drug rehab for free, right? Going Out on Top Citing that he didn’t want Phish to “become a nostalgia act,” unofficial Phish frontman Trey Anastasio stated that the Vermont-based jam band would split after the conclusion of their summer tour in August. Anastasio also said that the split would be amicable by all four original members, who have been together for nearly 21 years. In an unrelated note, a caravan of 300,000 hippies has vowed to get day jobs and be assimilated into society.

Popular High School Jocks Take Notice The Coors Light Mountain Jam is set to take place at Red Rocks Amphitheatre and features Kid Rock, Ludacris, Nickelback and Lil’ Jon and the Eastside Boyz. Non-musical diversions will include a hot tub and a chance for a winner to mingle with the musical acts. Culture clash will likely happen among groups of fans brought by the “diversity” of the artist roster (that is, those who still dream of their high school days, the pinnacle of their lives, and those who have accepted that they are losers). Jazz Loses One of Its Great Innovators Elvin Jones, who supplied some of the best and most jaw-dropping jazz percussion in music history, died last Tuesday of heart failure in a New Jersey hospital. Jones spent five years with John Coltrane (most noticeably on the seminal “A Love Supreme”), as well as shorter stints with Charles Mingus and Duke Ellington. Even in his ‘70s, Jones continued to play rigorously. He will be missed. He was 76.

COMPILED BY ANDY STOKES

Information compiled from online and other music news sources.

Greene Streets Karaoke Bar

TALENT QUEST NATIONAL KARAOKE CONTEST Every Thursday and Friday Night Thursday - Country Friday - Pop / Rock, Easy Listening / R&B

(860-2847)

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THE AUGUSTA CONCERT BAND Special Guest State Senator Joey Brush

Winner will compete at the finals in Laughlin, NV

Includes a musical salute to the

Heroes of Operation Iraqi Freedom Monday, may 31, 7:00 P.M. Jessye Norman Amphitheater On Augusta’s Beautiful Riverwalk

Admission Free

Corner of Greene & 11th Street • 823-2002 Mon-Fri 3pm-3am • Sat 6pm-2am

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

13th Annual “All American” Memorial Day Concert

$375,000 Total Prizes at the National Level

AFTER DARK

E ON

PERIAL THEATR TRUCKERS AT THE IM -BY IVE DR E TH R FO 8:30. D WILL OPEN WINDFIELD BEGIN AT STEWART AND WINFIEL 8 P.M., STEWART AND AT EN OP S OR DO . SATURDAY, MAY 29

Thursday, 27th

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

The Bee’s Knees – Meditate on This! Blind Pig – East Coast Players Cafe Du Teau – James McIntyre Continuum – Playa*Listic Thursday Coyote’s – Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads - 212 D. Timm’s – The Section Finish Line Cafe – DJ Greene Streets – Karaoke Joe’s Underground – Keith “Fossill” Gregory Modjeska – Comedy Zone Playground – Open Mic Robbie’s Sports Bar – DJ Rusty The Shack – DJ Chip

Shannon’s – Karaoke with Peggy Silver Bullet Lounge – Big Dogs Soul Bar – The Cubists, Chelsea Logue Surrey Tavern – Sabo and the Scorchers Wheeler Tavern – DJ Flashback Buddy

Friday, 28th Back Roads – DJ Blind Pig – Shameless Dave and the Miracle Whips Cafe Du Teau – James McIntyre Club Argos – Spectral Erosa with DJ Ghost and Claire Storm Coyote’s – Rhes Reeves Band D. Timm’s – The Section

El Rodeo – DJ Sontiago Finish Line Cafe – DJ Greene Streets – Karaoke Hangnail Gallery – Let’s Surf!, Carrie Nations, Peristalis Joe’s Underground – Redheaded Stepchild Last Call – DJ Buddha Modjeska – Caliente with DJ Carlitos Ms. Carolyn’s – The Horizon Partridge Inn – Mellow D Playground – 212, Sidegrinder R. Gabriel’s – Josh Pierce Robbie’s Sports Bar – DJ Rusty The Shack – DJ Chip Shannon’s – Bart Bell and Allen Black Silver Bullet Lounge – Big Dogs

Stillwater Tap Room – Onion Creek Crawdaddies Surrey Tavern – Soul Dimensions Wheeler Tavern – DJ Flashback Buddy

Saturday, 29th

Back Roads – DJ Blind Pig – Shameless Dave and the Miracle Whips Cafe Du Teau – James McIntyre Charlie O’s – Live Band Coconuts – DJ Tim Coyote’s – Rhes Reeves Band D. Timm’s – The Section Finish Line Cafe – DJ, Karaoke

AFTER DARK brought to you in part by T.G.I. Friday’s

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Fox’s Lair – Open Mic, Karaoke Greene Streets – Karaoke Joe’s Underground – Pit Boss Last Call – Toga Party Metro Coffeehouse – Afternoon Bluegrass Modjeska – Secret Society with DJ Kenny Ray R. Gabriel’s – Will McCranie Robbie’s Sports Bar – DJ Rusty The Shack – DJ Chip Shannon’s – Kool Katz Silver Bullet Lounge – Big Dogs with Fat Daddy Stillwater Tap Room – County Farm Surrey Tavern – Soul Dimensions Wheeler Tavern – DJ Flashback Buddy

Sunday, 30th

Adams Lounge – DJ Cafe Du Teau – The Last Bohemian Quartet Robbie’s Sports Bar – DJ Rusty The Shack – DJ Doober, DJ Chip Shannon’s – Shelly Watkins T.G.I. Friday’s – Pat Blanchard and Company Wheeler Tavern – Karaoke with DJ Dog

Monday, 31st Continuum – Monday Madness Greene Streets – Karaoke The Shack – DJ Jim Surrey Tavern – Tim Miller

THE ONION CREEK CR

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continued on page 46

THE CSRA’S

#1 HIT MUSIC STATION

MORNINGS 6AM - 10AM

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METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

One lucky winner and guest from right here in the CSRA will win a trip for two to see No Doubt live at the Palms Casino in Las Vegas. Listen for your FINAL CHANCE to qualify all this weekend.

continued from page 45

Wednesday, 2nd Coconuts – Karaoke Coliseum – Wacky Wednesdays Continuum – Open Mic Night Coyote’s – Rhes Reeves Band D. Timm’s – The Section Greene Streets – Karaoke Joe’s Underground – John Kolbeck Playground – Krazy Karaoke Robbie’s Sports Bar – DJ Rusty The Shack – DJ Chip Silver Bullet Lounge - Karaoke Soul Bar – Live Jazz Surrey Tavern – Pat and Adam

Upcoming

Tuesday, 1st

Adams Lounge – Keith “Fossill” Gregory D. Timm’s – The Section Greene Streets – Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Ruskin Metro Coffeehouse – Irish Night with Sibin The Shack – DJ Jim Surrey Tavern – Pat Blanchard Band

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Many tickets are available through TicketMaster outlets by calling 828-7700, or online at www.ticketmaster.com. Tickets may also be available through Tix Online by calling 278-4TIX, online at www.tixonline.com or at their outlet location in Southgate Plaza. After Dark listings are subject to change without notice. Deadline for inclusion in After Dark calendar is Tuesday at 4 p.m. Contact Rhonda Jones or Andy Stokes by calling 738-1142, faxing 736-0443 or e-mailing to rhonda.jones@metrospirit.com or andy.stokes@metrospirit.com.

$1.50 Drafts

Food & Beverage Sunday!

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

Cadillac Jones, Dubconscious – Georgia Theatre, Athens – May 28 Andrew W.K. – Cotton Club, Atlanta – June 1 Kenny Loggins – Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta – June 1 Eric Johnson – Music Farm, Charleston – June 1 “Aquafina on the Bricks” Series: George Clinton and Parliament/Funkadelic – Centennial Olympic Park, Atlanta – June 4 Anthony Hamilton, Gerald Levert, Maze – Chastain Park Amphitheatre – June 4 Harry Connick Jr. – Township Auditorium, Columbia – June 4

$2 Appetizers

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Elsewhere

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New Happy Hour Times!

Leon Russell – Headliners at Banana Joe’s, Columbia – June 4 “Lord of the Rings” Symphony Tour with Sissel – Atlanta Symphony Hall, Atlanta – June 4-6 Hot Buttered Rum String Band – Stillwater Tap Room, Augusta – June 5 Candlelight Jazz – Eighth Street Bulkhead, Augusta – June 6, 13, 20, 27 Bonnie Raitt, Robert Cray Band – Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta – June 8 “Great High Mountain” Tour featuring Alison Krauss and Union Station, Ralph Stanley – Fox Theatre, Atlanta – June 8 Harry Connick Jr. – Chaistain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta – June 9, 10

New Happy Hour Times!

ERS PLAY SABO AND THE SCORCH THURSDAY, ON THE SURREY TAVERN MAY 27.

Drive-By Truckers, Stewart and Winfield – Imperial Theatre – May 29 Wiyos – Stillwater Tap Room – June 3 Joe Stevenson’s Summer Series: Patrick Davis – Metro Coffeehouse – June 3 Lita Grey – Hangnail Gallery – June 4 Hot Buttered Rum String Band – Stillwater Tap Room – June 5 Wycliffe Gordon – Candlelight Jazz, Eighth Street Bulkhead – June 6 A Wilhelm Scream, Near Miss – Hangnail Gallery – June 8 DieAgnostic Reunion Show – Last Call – June 10 Steel String Theory – Stillwater Tap Room – June 11 Big Sky – Crossroads – June 11 John Lee Hooker Jr. – Andy’s – June 16

Rev. Jeff Mosier and the Ear-reverents – Stillwater Tap Room – June 18 Raisinhill – Aiken Brewing Company – June 18 Train, Graham Colton Band – Barton Field – June 18 Revelation – Soul Bar – June 19 Cowboy Mouth – Imperial Theatre – June 20 Caitlin Cary – Playground – July 10 Hellblinki Sextet, The Goodies, Distal – Imperial Theatre – July 16 Hope For Agoldensummer – Soul Bar – July 22 Joe Stevenson’s Summer Series: Doug Jones (Cravin’ Melon) – Metro Coffeehouse – July 22 Macha – Soul Bar – July 31 Joe Stevenson’s Summer Series: Steven Jackson – Metro Coffeehouse – Aug. 5

Brezsny’s Free Will

president of the United States. I further predict that one of these kids will ultimately be elected commander in chief in 2044. As for you Virgo adults, I believe that no matter what country you live in, events in the coming days will awaken your dormant reserves of ambition and authority.

Astr ology ARIES (March 21-April 19):

I almost always urge you to see the glass as half-full, not half-empty. But this week I’m more cautious. Why? Because you may soon be pressured to buy into overly optimistic fantasies. Even people you trust may encourage you to place inflated faith in shaky promises. So ask lots of probing questions, please. Beware of groupthink. On the other hand, however, there’s no need to adopt a sour, suspicious perspective. Being cynical will not automatically make you insightful. See if you can manage to be a cheerful skeptic, as generous and open-minded as you are alert for the hype.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20):

A surfer from California recently collected his 15 minutes of fame when he rode his board for the 10,407th consecutive day. During those 28 years, Dale Webster never took a vacation. To keep his mornings free, he worked exclusively at low-paying night jobs. He surfed on the day his daughter was born and the day he passed kidney stones. His eyes now have scar tissue because he has gazed into the sun for so long, and he’s literally afraid to stop surfing for even 24 hours. I nominate him to be both your role model and anti-role model, Taurus. It’s a perfect time to commit yourself with fierce passion to a long-term dream, but only if you promise not to let your devotion degenerate into manic obsession.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20):

ACROSS Pinafore letters Loony ___ valve Wine cask wood Repeat after me? 16 Intoxicated 17 Kids’ “communication” toys 20 Is repentant 21 “What a shame” 22 Chop (off) 23 Sierra ___ 24 Makes an offer 25 ___ on thick 27 “Citizen ___” 28 Nest eggs, briefly 29 Like some women’s dresses 30 Film director Stanley 32 Proceeds 1 4 8 14 15

ANSWER TO E F G S E R I P L A N I N S A C T O T I O M A R S S P E A S H E T E E D O N A D M E D I I C E A C A R L

S A T I N

P L O T

T H I O N R G N B I E A N G E O S

that’s free of mildew. If that’s impossible, bestow on them a tent that doesn’t leak and a cheap place to pitch it. If that’s too much to ask, let them have their own tree house in a forest that’s not too dark and scary. And if all that’s out of the question, please at least help them feel at home in the world wherever they are.

CANCER (June 21-July 22):

Antibiotics have been miracle drugs for over 60 years, but their potency is fading as bacteria evolve to become resistant to them. This has led some British doctors to revive a medieval approach to healing — placing maggots in open wounds. Seriously. The creepy creatures are fast and effective in cleansing infections. I’d like this to serve as your operative metaphor in the coming weeks, Cancerian. As you strive to mend old psychic lesions, call on the wisdom of the past — even if it involves a cure that makes you a bit uneasy.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):

The puzzle is not as difficult as you imagine. In fact, it has only seven pieces — far fewer than you’ve assumed. Perhaps you got thrown off by its simplicity; it does have a superficial resemblance to a more complicated puzzle from your past. The ironic thing is that you’ll never figure it out it as long as you’re so serious and stressed about it. To create the conditions that will lead to a solution, relax, have as much fun as possible, and assume that the puzzle will soon solve itself.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

63 “You bet!” inits. 36 Configuration of DOWN six places in 1 Something this puzzle’s brewing answer 2 Strand 38 Family docs 3 Like some 39 Like most table knees salt 4 Asks for alms 41 Scoop holders 5 Make a scene? 43 Coercer 6 1993 film that 44 Cottage site had Oscar’s 45 Big mouths Best Actress 49 Pop-ups, e.g. and Best Supporting 50 Slant Actress 51 Gift getter 7 Recovering 52 “Johnny ___” patients 53 Was trilling consume them 54 Oklahoma 8 Early Cosby athlete series 55 Lovelorn group 9 Like one in a 58 Infatuated with series 59 Mine, to Monet 10 “You just missed her!” 60 Egg warmer 11 Pesky 61 Come out 62 Odd look 12 “Go, man, go!” 13 Some board PREVIOUS PUZZLE members: Abbr. O T L A U R A S 17 ___ vaccine N O A L L O U T 18 Maiden name preceder B E N A T U R E U J A N I T O R 19 Sci-fi figures D V I I M E R E 24 Afghan or G I F P A R A S Tibetan E R D R T 25 River barrier T A N E O U S 26 Ball-bearing G U N S M I T H group T O M S D E A 28 ___ self O S E S P E L L 29 Pasta choice T R E P U T E T O M O R R O W 31 Slimes H U M O R I S T 32 Cons Y S E R P T S 33 Tick off

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

What kind of archer do you want to be when you grow up, Sagittarius? Would you like to be: 1. the kind of archer who aims in the general direction of several big targets in the distance; 2. the kind who aims at a single medium-sized target in the middle distance; 3. the kind who aims at many small targets that aren’t too far away; 4. the kind who never aims at any target at all, but just enjoys the thrill of shooting lots of arrows everywhere? This is a perfect time for you to settle on one of these four options.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):

My friend Katherine comes from an old Southern family that has recorded its history for generations. She says her great-great-greatgrandmother, Elizabeth, was born in Greenville, S.C., in 1852. Until she was 81 years old, Elizabeth suffered from asthma. Then she was cured completely, and lived free of its ravages until she died in 1955 at the age of 103. I nominate Elizabeth to be your inspirational role

Most American children don’t want to grow up to be president any more. The practice of politics is boring and sickening, they tell pollsters. There’s too much pressure and too much arguing involved. Despite this trend, I predict that, in the coming weeks, a disproportionately large percentage of Virgo youngsters will fantasize about someday becoming

33 N.Y.C. subway

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):

The Israeli poet Yehuda Amichai wrote that “The soul is a search; the soul is a dance of searches for whatever is lost.” Let that be your guiding thought in the coming weeks, Scorpio. The astrological omens suggest that it’s high time for you to go looking for a missing treasure. The best way to ensure that you find it is to feed and praise and give free reign to the part of you that you call your soul.

31 37

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PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):

I predict that some of you overly sensitive Pisceans will soon be beaten down by the cold, cruel world. Maybe you’ll move in with your parents or flee to the middle of nowhere and live off the grid in a log cabin. Similarly, more than a few of you Piscean artists, actors, writers and musicians will get weary of the uphill battle to make a living from doing what you love. You’ll think about selling out, seeking dull but secure gigs in the corporate world. But I’m begging all of you not to give up. Please continue your heroic struggles to be true to yourselves. If you can manage to hold on a while longer, you will be blessed with a breakthrough no later than Sept.1.

19 21

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):

Welcome to the Happiness Season, Aquarius. The entire universe is now conspiring to provoke in you an abiding sense of joy and well-being. You can resist, of course; it’s your God-given right to use your free will to repel this influx of contentment. But in case you decide to cooperate with the cosmic trend, here are a few helpful thoughts to propel you. “Happiness is a state of going somewhere wholeheartedly, without regret or reservation,” William H. Sheldon. “I’d rather be a failure at something I enjoy than be a success at something I hate,” George Burns. “Happiness is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose,” Helen Keller. “Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy,” Anonymous. “To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness,” Bertrand Russell.

42 Kissy-faced 44 Like regal

succession

46 American

Shakers founder 37 March Madness feature 47 Tiny tots 40 Alcoholic product 48 Dweller along popularized in the Morava the 90’s River

50 “Poppycock!” 51 Affairs

priceless

53 New Year’s Eve

word

54 Arouse

55 Big: Abbr.

56 Keep a record

of 57 Spawn

For answers, call 1-900-285-5656, $1.20 a minute; or, with a credit card, 1-800-814-5554. Annual subscriptions are available for the best of Sunday crosswords from the last 50 years: 1-888-7-ACROSS. Online subscriptions: Today's puzzle and more than 2,000 past puzzles, nytimes.com/crosswords ($34.95 a year). Share tips: nytimes.com/puzzleforum. Crosswords for young solvers: nytimes.com/learning/xwords.

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METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

New York Times Crossword Puzzle

I lead a group called the Prayer Warriors. We petition God on behalf of people who need help in summoning divine intervention. Here’s the prayer we’ll be saying for your tribe in the coming months: Dear God: We beseech You to give a big, beautiful home to all Geminis who want one. If they aren’t allowed to have that for karmic reasons, please grant them a comfortable apartment with no obnoxious roommates. If You can’t manage that, bless them with a trailer

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):

The time a rodeo cowboy has to stay on a bucking bronco to qualify: 8 seconds. The time a lion-tamer holds his head in a lion’s mouth: 7 seconds. The time it takes for a skydiver’s parachute to open: 6 seconds. The time it takes for thunder to travel a mile: 5 seconds. The time it will take, sometime in the coming week, for a divine intervention to reveal a galvanizing vision of your possible future: 10 seconds. The time it may take for you to fully understand the meaning of the vision: 4 months.

model for the next two weeks, Capricorn. Believe it or not, you now have the power to shed a burden or cure a malady that you’ve always feared was a permanent curse.

News of the

Weird

n May, in the latest blooming of the lawyers’ class-action money tree, California law firms asked a court to approve $258 million in fees for their handling of a lawsuit against Microsoft Corp., amounting to $3,000 an hour for the lead attorney (who billed for 6,000 hours of his own time, even though three dozen lawyers from more than 30 firms had a piece of the case) and $1,000 an hour for administrative work, all for the following consumer bonanza: Each victim will get a coupon worth $5 to $29 toward the purchase of another Microsoft product (coupons that are often routinely ignored by consumers in these settlements, as not worth the bother). Finer Points of the Law In April, a judge in Ocala, Fla., sentenced a 27year-old man to probation-only for having sex with his then-girlfriend’s Rottweiler (with the man admitting that he had a “lifelong problem”) and lamented that, under state law, the man could not be forced to register as a sex offender, since the victim was a dog. Also in April, authorities in Nashville, Tenn., charged Metro News with violating the state’s Sunday-closing law for adult businesses, but the owner said he would fight it since he had recently tried to avoid the law by occupying most of his floor space with a Sundaylaw-acceptable retail furniture and garden business (although his sign still said customers had to be age 18 or older to shop for furniture). Government in Action Although 50 countries (including Japan) have now banned American beef because of inadequate mad-cow controls, the U.S. Department of Agriculture not only has declined to order widespread testing but has even prohibited one farm, Creekstone (Campbellsburg, Ky.), from voluntarily testing. USDA said such conscientious testing would imply that America’s entire 35 million yearly slaughters should be tested (which the industry says is too expensive, even though Japan requires universal testing for its beef). USDA said it aims to test only 40,000 cows, up from 20,000 for the last two years (although it has been unable for nine months now to document those tests in response to a Freedom of Information Act request by United Press International).

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

Can’t Possibly Be True • Until March, Mr. Dayn Riegel and his girlfriend kept 77 cats in their house in Lawrenceville, Ga., but a Humane Society spokesman said he saw no problem, in that all appeared to be in good health and well-fed, and Riegel’s home was clean (though filled with litter boxes). Riegel recorded each cat’s history on a computer database, provided one packaged meal and one special meal a day for each, and turned over 60 pounds of cat litter a week. (During a recent move from the home, Riegel gave away just a few of the cats.) • Veteran schoolteacher Carrie Peoples, 63, quit her job in April in Covington, Ga., after an incident in which she responded to a trashtalking 14-year-old student by ordering two male classmates to toss the girl out of an open window (even though it was a first-floor window); the

boys dutifully complied, for fear of punishment. And two-year teacher Jason Schoenberger, 24, was suspended from PS 279 in Brooklyn, N.Y., in March after he hung a 5-year-old student on a closet coatrack (supposedly with the kid’s permission) just to see the shock on a colleague’s face when he walked into the closet. • Sweden’s Parliamentary Ombudsmen’s office in Stockholm, looking through some old environmental records recently, discovered that in 1986 a regional environmental court in Jaemtland province had denied a resort-development permit to a builder on the ground that the Loch Ness-resembling “Storsjoe monster” (serpentlike body, catlike head, first rumored in 1635) often “sighted” there had been declared endangered. Declared the ruling, “(I)t is prohibited to kill, hurt or catch animals of the Storsjoe monster species” or to “take away or hurt the monster’s eggs, roe or den.” • In April, the Virginia Supreme Court turned down the petition for a new trial for Aleck J. Carpitcher, who was sentenced in 1999 to 38 years in prison for molesting an 11-year-old girl even though she recently told authorities she made up the whole incident to punish Carpitcher, who was at the time dating the girl’s mother. The justices cited state law, which allows consideration of “new evidence” only if it is submitted within three weeks of the sentencing date. • The Boston Herald reported in April that the Massachusetts Treatment Center, at which the state’s pedophiles and rapists are housed, was using a controversial aversion therapy that some experts say includes providing convict-patients with illegal child pornography and forcing them to masturbate repeatedly, past the threshold of pain, in the belief that child images will thus eventually become uninviting. People With Issues New Hampshire state Rep. John Kerns resigned in February while on the verge of expulsion for, among other things, writing “State of New Hampshire” on some personal checks (later dishonored) to feign officialness and for threatening violence after unsuccessfully demanding a private parking space; he appeared at one court hearing wearing a black cape to, as he said, improve his credibility as a defendant. Also, presidential candidate Robert Haines, 57, of New Hampshire, was arrested while campaigning in Virginia in April after he threatened to kill a police dog over a parking ticket dispute; last year, at a Dartmouth College football game, Haines tried to commandeer the public address system and ceremonially “throw out the first football” (which is only done in baseball). Least Competent Criminals A man, perhaps not all that incompetent, took $180 from another in a home robbery in Covington, Ky., in April. The money was handed over by the victim only because he was late in noticing that the gun the man was holding had no barrel. As the robber ran out, the victim called police, and neighbors joined in a search, but the only thing that was found nearby, according to the Kentucky Post, was discarded clothing and “pieces of a gun.”

The Advice Goddess

Amy Alkon

was sitting at a café when the guy next to me struck up a conversation with me about the book I was reading. It turns out that we work in related fields and have a mutual interest in energy conservation and other environmental issues. To my surprise, less than an hour after we met, he called and asked me out for a drink that evening. I felt really on the spot, because I would like to be friends with the guy, but I have a boyfriend. I hadn't mentioned being involved when we’d talked earlier, and it seemed too awkward to come out with it in response to his invitation. Not knowing what to say, I blurted out a lame excuse for why I couldn't make it. He sounded hurt, and I felt terrible. How can I be honest about the fact that I'm seeing someone — without being clumsy? —Eco Worrier Maybe you're the Billy Crystal of the compost heap, and a few words from you on orange rind repurposing are enough to take the edge off enviroboy's fears that the national parks will be turned into national parking lots. Or maybe you do a gutbusting bit on sustainable agriculture, helping him forget his worries that the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge will become a giant gas station, and the Grand Canyon will be redeveloped into a mall. (Naturally, there'd be a food court serving Kentucky Fried Spotted Owl.) Still, a guy generally doesn't call you less than an hour after meeting you because he can't make it through the day without more of your environmentally correct witticisms. In fact, if there's a short list of what men want, it's extremely short on lengthy, clothed monologues about solar panel installation issues. Sure, this particular guy might share your interest in preserving the planet and its species, but species preservation does begin at home, and chasing you naked around his home was most likely what he had in mind. Don't make the mistake of keeping mum about your romantic status until a guy invites you out to throw back the wheat grass-mopolitans. At that point, it's about as subtle as unleashing a chorus line of strip miners to belt out, "She has a boyfriend, she has a boyfriend, cha, cha, cha!" Like ecoconservation, ego conservation is a pre-emptive measure. It starts with assuming that any guy who says so much as "pass the flax seeds" is hoping to embark on some small-scale eco-tourism: a oneman journey under one woman's 27 layers of zipper-free hemp. Unfortunately, assuming this out loud, in so many words, is rude and presumptuous, since there is some microbial possibility that he just

wants to hear more of your fine words on the merits of wind farming. Your best bet is engaging in a bit of verbal dumping — crumpling up the occasional "us," "we," and "my boyfriend and I are training hamsters to power small household appliances" and casually flicking them into conversation. If a guy doesn't take the hint from all the plural pronouns you're littering around, it's probably because he's into the challenge of pursuing somebody who's already spoken for. Ultimately, it's his job to do the requisite investigative work before he retrofits the Learjet to run on used French fry oil and invites you out for a 17-course Tofurkey dinner. My ex and I were the perfect couple, but there were external factors messing things up (for starters, he owed my brother a lot of money). What do you do when your perfect soul match is such a screw-up that being with him ruins your relationships with everyone you know? —Bringing Up the Arrears What does it mean if a guy like this is your "perfect soul match" — deep down, you have a lot of bad debts? There's more to a relationship than staring cow-eyed at each other and agreeing on what a perfect couple you are: "You're wunnnerful!" "You're wunnnerful, too!" "No, we’re wunnnerful!" "Yes, we are!" When sap-exchanging hours are over, there are bills to be paid and brothers to maintain relationships with. It's bad enough that your boyfriend would impose on your brother for a loan, but then, to impose on your relationship with your brother by not paying it back? Much as you'd like to blame this on "external factors" (as if lightning struck, rendering the guy incapable of writing a check), this was no "act of god," just the act of a jerk-wad who doesn't follow through on his obligations. Getting together with "such a screw-up" is like buying a brand-new Ferrari with no wheels. Sure, even up on blocks in your driveway, it's a spectacular machine, it still compares unfavorably to a rusty-wheeled, homemade skateboard when it comes to whisking you to the grocery store to pick up a can of character for your boyfriend. — © 2004, Amy Alkon

Got A Problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Avenue, Box 280, Santa Monica, CA 90405 or e-mail AdviceAmy@aol.com.

Got A Problem? Write Amy Alkon 171 Pier Ave. Box 280 Santa Monica, CA 90405 AdviceAmy@aol.com

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GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY SWF, 27, 5’2”, average build, Scorpio, smoker, nurse, enjoys going to the ballfield with the kids, having fun with friends. Seeking fun, energetic SWM, 30-42, for friendship, maybe more. !215492 MORE THAN JUST AIKEN, SC Do you enjoy travel, reading, church, and children? Call this non-smoking, 43-yearold SBCF if you’re a non-smoking SBCM, 40-55. !206590 VERY DOWN-TO-EARTH... and open. DWF, 5’11”, 135lbs, enjoys going to movies, outdoors activities, travel and meeting new people. Looking for honest, sincere, trustworthy man, 29-39, for solid friendship first. !996643 A VERY SERIOUS WOMAN SBPF, 34, mother of 3, nurse, independent and secure, enjoys church, movies, dining. looking for commitment-minded, levelheaded, spiritual, spontaneous, respectful man, who truly appreciates a good woman. Sound like you? !777612 SEARCHING FOR MR RIGHT SBPF, 39, Libra, loves church, traveling, movies, and dining out. Seeking SBPM, 3760, for possible LTR. !421273 MUST LIKE CHILDREN Single parent, 40s, likes reading, outdoor activities, most music, dining out, movies, and quiet times at home. !996641 BE MY TEDDY BEAR SWF, 32, 5’3’’, 180lbs, auburn/blue, no kids, never married, enjoys movies, sports, travel, dining, bowling, cuddling, quiet evenings. Seeking honest, romantic SBM, similar interests, for dating, possible LTR. !894568 BIG GIRLS NEED LOVE TOO SBF, 33, Sagittarius, seeking single man, 31-45, for romance, real friendship, possible LTR later. Give me a call. !111717 NASCAR/ETC MAMMA DWF, young 59, 5’4”, smoker, enjoys all racing, the outdoors, reading, beaches, mountains, motorcycles, fishing, sports and more. Seeking SWM, 54-65, with similar interests, for companionship. !989288 MAYBE YOU’RE THE ONE? DWF, 52, 5’4”, brown/green, 170lbs, retired, secure, homeowner, loves sailing, cooking, gardening, shooting pool. Seeking considerate, pleasant SWM, who likes the same, for companionship and possible LTR. !980275 SEEKING HONESTY SBF, 37, full-figured enjoys dining out, movies, reading, music, laughter, parks, and much more. Seeking similar SB/WF, 32-50, for friendship, maybe more. !964698

FOLLOW YOUR BLISS SBM, 18, 6’2”, with a brown complexion and brown eyes, seeks a woman for dating and lots of fun. !200362 HONESTY IS BEST POLICY Sincere man, 25, works as a cook, and is looking for a woman who believes in honesty and romance. !122303 ELIGIBLE BACHELOR Businessman and entrepreneur, 44, 6’, 170lbs, N/S, N/D, serious, tall, tan, trim, talented, educated. Seeking exceptional SF, 24-37, for exclusive relationship. !115278 GIVE ME A CALL SWM, 43, 5’10”, 155lbs, enjoys cooking, movies, the outdoors, romance, laughter, good conversation, good company and more. Seeking outgoing, interesting, sincere SWF, 24-35, for friendship, maybe more. !989836 TRY THIS ONE Affectionate, loyal SBM, 43, hard-working, honest, enjoys travel, walks, good company. Seeking down-to-earth, intelligent, hardworking, independent lady to share movie nights, candlelight dinners, romance and much more. !225213 LOVE This Southern Carolina SBM is employed, 20, goal-oriented, dark-skinned, w/wavy hair. Looking for employed, honest SB/HF, 20-30, who might enjoy basketball, tv, reading, sleeping, listening to the radio, and more. !204179

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Monday-Saturday 10am-9pm 2635 Washington Road | Augusta, Georgia 30904 | 706.738.7777 www.windsorjewelers.net SPICE IT UP SWM, 31, with blue-green eyes, and a goatee, loves spicy foods, and is in search of a woman for outdoor fun. !992800 LIKES HAVING FUN BM, 26, likes parties, going out and having fun, movies, bowling, hanging out with friends and more. If I sound interesting, call me. !124754 ACTUAL NICE GUY Handsome, outgoing, open-minded SWM, 5’11”, average build, 51, Leo, smoker, enjoys traveling, museums, resorts, sunbathing. Seeking woman, 40-50, for LTR and/or friendship. !120143 BY MY SIDE SWM, 51, 6’, self-employed, looking for friendship. I like movies, long drives, good times. You: SWF, 35-55, same interests, companionship first. !986387 SEND ME AN ANGEL SWM, 39, 5’10”, 150lbs, mustache, goatee, shaved head, into hard rock, heavy metal. Seeking compatible, cool SF, 32-55, friends first, possibly more. !984481 NASCAR FAN SWM, 39, 5’11”, brown/hazel, average build, Libra, smoker, seeks an old-fashioned WF, 21-45, for LTR. !932866 KINDRED SPIRITS SBM, 54, 5’7”, average build, local truck driver, Taurus, marriage-minded, smoker, seeks BF, 42-60, a kind soul. !928892 SEEKING WOMAN WITH GOALS SM, 32, medium build, dark complexion, seeks average woman, 20-45, who enjoys movies, dining, walks in the park. !200166

GIVE IT A SHOT! SBM, 25, 5’4’’, 180lbs, muscular build, likes bowling, shooting pool, vacationing. Seeking SF, 18-31, for friends first, LTR. !200325 ONE IN A MILLION Clean-cut, easygoing SB, 40. 5’7”, 170lbs, looking for a woman, 22-48, to spend my life with. I know how to treat a woman. I enjoy travel, movies, outdoors and more. !124879 VERY ROMANTIC PERSON BM, 35, would love to take you in my arms and hold you tight. Seeking a woman to share quality time, walks in the park, movies and quiet times together. !995604 BLACK TEDDY BEAR SBM, 27, is looking for a Queen, who treats the other person in her life right, and expects the same in return. !123000 FRIENDS OR... SWM, 36, 165lbs, athletic type, likes watching movies, some evenings out, dining, dancing. Seeking SW/HF, 20-45, slim to average build, same mindset, for possible LTR. !943034 VELVET TEDDY BEAR SBM, 37, Sagittarius, N/S, in construction field, seeks an intelligent, attractive woman, 23-45, with healthy full figure, loving, caring, affectionate. !936899 TO THE POINT SBM, 20, 5’11”, Libra, smoker, loves hanging out with friends and listening to music. Seeking a real woman, 20s, free of games. !924941 GIVE ME A TRY SBM, 25, 5’3”, with a muscular build, seeks a woman for a relationship based on friendship, trust and fun. !993092

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M B D F H C LTR

Male Black Divorced Female Hispanic Christian Long-term Relationship

G W A S J P N/D N/S

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METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

THE BOMB SWF, 18, with a full figure, seeks a male, 1825, who enjoys movies, dinner, for friendship and possibly more with time. !955355

FRIEND IN FAITH SBF, 47, Capricorn, N/S, involved with church, very creative, artistic, designs tile and cards. Seeking BCM, 44-58, involved with church, who loves the Lord. !707742 YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO SBF, 39, Leo, N/S, seeks BM, 38-45, downto-earth, very direct and straightforward, to have fun with. !582549 WHOLE LOTTA LOVE SBF, 33, would like to share movies, dinners, quiet evenings at home, the usual dating activities, with a great guy. !463610

YOU HAVE 6 NEW MATCHES

COMPANIONSHIP DWF, 50, interested in gardening, antiques and traveling. Churchgoer. Seeking DWM, 48-58, for loving, tender relationship. !732056

ENDANGERED SPECIES SBF, 57, average build, independent, likes the good things life has to offer, fun to be with. Seeking SBM, 55-68, independent, honest and caring. !927805 ISO CHRISTIAN VALENTINE SWCF, 61, outgoing, Libra, N/S, seeks SWCM, 59-65, with whom to share Christ, friendship, and laughter. Must be family-oriented, kind, outgoing, emotionally/financially secure. Let’s give our friendship a try. !911830 CLOSER TO FINE SBF, 58, retired school teacher, N/S, enjoys traveling and tv. Seeking BM, 50-65, educated (high school at least, please), who enjoys having good clean fun. !909981 TALL BROWN SUGAR SBF, 25, 5’9”, N/S, enjoys movies, concerts, quiet times, and good music. Seeking WM, 23-30, N/S, no children. !906840 WANNA DANCE? SWF, 57, seeks dance partner for Salsa and Square Dancing! Any size, shape, big or tall, short or small, matters not! It’s the footwork that counts! Beginner-intermediate level. !898986 WAITING FOR YOU SB mom, 24, Virgo, seeks a man for days at the park, the mall, or at the movies, and spending time with family, friends. !883496 I WANT TO LOVE YOU SBF, 18, 5’2”, Cancer, enjoys writing poetry, walks on the beach, hanging out and enjoying life. Seeking BM, 18-24, who will treat her right, and expects the same in return. !880193 LOVE OF LIFE Attractive, classy, vivacious SWCF, 50ish, N/S, N/D, seeks SWCM, N/S, N/D, who is honest, financially/mentally secure, and ready for commitment. !875741 ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE Honest SWF, 28, 5’10”, 210lbs, blonde/blue, enjoys classic rock, horror movies, and quiet nights at home. Seeking SW/HM, 18-40, for friendship, possible LTR. !874789 SIMPLE KIND OF LIFE SWF, 34, listens to country and oldies music, and wants to meet a man to cuddle up on the couch and watch a good movie, or enjoy other simple pleasures. !860787 OLD-FASHIONED LADY SWCF, 48, 5’3”, 150lbs, blonde/green, Scorpio, N/S, enjoys church, Bible studies, music, dining out. Seeking SWCM, 35-60, N/S, for friendship and more. !840939 DREAM GUY SBF, 29, searching for open-minded, outgoing SM, 22-38, military man A+, for friendship, fun nights out, dancing, talks and maybe more. !836990 SOMEONE TO LOVE SWF, 48, enjoys a good horror movie, a drama or a comedy. Seeking a man for romance, quiet times at home, or just dancing the night away! !832399 COULD THIS BE YOU? SBF, 45, 5’4”, full-figured, Taurus, N/S, enjoys church, dining out, reading, and quiet times at home. ISO BM, 45-65, N/S, for LTR. !810309 HIKER HEAVEN SWF, 45, full-figured, N/S, enjoys church, exploring, old movies, auctions, and gym. Seeking WM, 46-56, N/S. Let’s make tracks together. !807679

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To respond to ads using a ARE YOU OUT THERE? SWM, 56, 135lbs, athletic build, employed, likes movies, quiet conversations, gospel music, C&W, snuggling and good company. Seeking SF, slim-average build, to share a lasting loving relationship. !979620 TAKE A CHANCE SM, 39, 6’, 240lbs, laid-back, artistic, loves life and trying new things. Seeking SF for fun times, friendship, casual dates and maybe more. !976288 I GIVE GOOD LOVE SM, 28, 5’5”, N/S, Virgo, enjoys sports, bowling, movies, going out, quiet times. Seeking a single lady, 26-34, same interests, for dating, possibly more. !957932 JUST LET ME KNOW SWM, 27, 5’10”, 165lbs, enjoys dining out, movies, music, conversation, traveling, romance, laughter and more. Seeking outgoing, intelligent, humorous SW/BF, 18-30, for companionship. !956434 PRINCE SBM, 27, 5’11”, 165lbs, enjoys music, travel, reading, dining. Seeking a woman who is outgoing, attractive, with similar interests for possible LTR. !954917 NO MORE GAMES SWM, 34, 6’4”, 190lbs, is in great shape, and is looking for a woman who keeps herself healthy and believes in honesty. !955377

ME AND MISS LADY SBM, 38, 6’1”, professional cook, likes sports, looking for a lady, 28-42, likes quiet times, walks in the park, family, fun. Does this sound like you? !951742 ENJOY MY TIME SBM, 46, 5’8”, 190lbs, looking for SB/WF, 25-50, N/S, likes watching tv, going to the movies, cooking. Friendship and romantic times first, maybe more. !945941 LOVES TO MAKE YOU LAUGH SBM, 37, 5’8”, slim build, Aquarius, smoker, disc jockey and pest control technician, seeks woman, 25-41, just as a friend. !939056 LOVEABLE TEDDY BEAR SBM, 38, 6’2”, Cancer, smoker, loves sports, dinner, dancing, movies. Seeking woman, 20-45, smoker, to kick up her heels with me. !938554 MUCH TO OFFER SHM, 58, 5’10”, 185lbs, salt-n-pepper hair, retired, Virgo, N/S, loves trailer camping, mountains, beaches. Seeking WF, 48-62, N/S, retired a+. !937107

WELL-ROUNDED MAN Educated SBPM, 41, 5’11”, loves reading, working out, the arts, dining out, travel, quiet times. Would like to meet SWF, 30-45, with similar interests, for fun, friendship, and maybe more. !442021

NO MORE DRAMA Good-hearted GBM, 33, N/S, looking for level-headed single guy, 25-48, who knows his direction in life, for no-games dating and LTR. !854633 THE MISSING PIECE Laid-back SBM, 22, Sagittarius, N/S, seeks a very special SBM, 18-35, to help complete me. !215040 ANYBODY OUT THERE? GHM, 21, Pisces, smoker, into muscle cars, salsa dancing, cats, gardening and landscaping. Seeking GM, 18-40, for companionship, possible LTR. !214399 EASY TO TALK TO SWM, 48, loves good Italian or French cuisine, and is looking for a man who is easy to get along with, for romance. !870126 DOGGONE LOVEABLE SWM, 37, Gemini, smoker, nature and animal lover (especially puppies), seeks outgoing, down-to-earth man, 20-70, for friendship. !909184

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

1 YOU’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR BiWF, 27, enjoys everything, promises you won’t regret it. If you’re looking for a good time and friendship, I’ll be perfect for you. !830500 EXCITING BLACK FEMALE, 31 Looking for someone who is loving, kind, caring, enjoys a good time, willing to try new things to add some spice to life. If that’s you, give me a call. !218927 HELLO LADIES SWF, 30, Leo, N/S, enjoys movies, trips to the lake, seeks feminine woman, 24-40, BBW a plus, for friendship, possible serious relationship !213937 GIVE ME A CALL This SBF in Aiken, South Carolina is 33, 5’8”, 150lbs, a smoker, and seeking a very attractive, feminine, fun-loving SBF for movies, walks, and clubbing occasionally. Ages: 30 to 40. !204355 I HAVE GOOD QUALITIES Employed, nice SBF (lives in SC) is hardworking but will make time for the right SBF. She’s 34, 5’4”, brown-complected, mediumbuilt, brown-eyed. Enjoy tv, cuddling, fishing, bowling, movies, travel, beaches. !207637 INTERESTED? SBF, 35, loves reading (Stephen King and Anne Rice), listening to alternative music, as well as jazz. Seeking a woman with similar tastes. !990549

Madness!

CALL ON ME SWM, 43, 5’10”, 160lbs, blond/blue, loves the outdoors, dogs, fishing. Seeking SW/HM, 21-35, similar interests, friends first, maybe more. !113631 TAKE A CHANCE GWM, 43, 6’2”, 195lbs, black brown, seeks other GWM, for fun times and maybe something more. !493530 SEND ME AN ANGEL SBM, 31, seeking serious, open-minded, down-to-earth guy, 30-45, likes hanging out at home, movies. Friendship comes first, possible LTR. No drama! !111070

YOU NEVER KNOW... where this could lead. SBM, 24, Pisces, smoker, seeks BF, 20-30, for friendship, perhaps casual dating. !926708

TIME AFTER TIME SM, 38, is an easygoing guy looking for another guy to spend time with, and share a good friendship. !993392

CULTURED SWM, 31, 5’6”, athletic build, Cancer, N/S, would like to meet an athletic, energetic woman, 21-55, N/S. !926395

IS IT YOU? Simple, easygoing SM, 47, enjoys bowling, music, cooking, more. Seeking outgoing lady for good times, talks, friendship and possible LTR. !975288 GLOVERVILLE GUY GWM, Capricorn, N/S, loves bars, karaoke, cooking out, and pool. Seeking GWM, 2849, smoker, to cuddle up with. !936256

GOOD COMPANY SBF, 27, wants to meet a friend for hanging out, shopping, having fun and enjoying good company. !990953 WHY NOT CALL? SBF, 41, seeks goal-oriented, caring SBF with children ok, for friendship, dating and possible relationship. !976521 SOMETHING SPECIAL DWF, 45, 5’8”, 145lbs, two kids at home, loves heavy metal music. Seeking SWF, 30-50, likes being around kids, for possible LTR. !945525 AFRICAN-AMERICAN STUD Open-minded, spontaneous, laid-back SBF, 23, Pisces, N/S, loves R&B and oldschool music. Seeking feminine woman, 25-50, race not important, who loves to have fun. !919677 WAITING FOR YOU SBF, 19, is in search of a friend first, maybe more with time, with a lady who likes to get out and have fun. !874312 BONEVILLE BABE SWF, 31, 5’5”, 130lbs, brown/green, smoker, enjoys playing golf, movies, and picnics at the lake. Seeking WF, 25-40, for friends, possibly more. !818908 A LOT TO OFFER Non-smoking GBF, 37, N/S, seeks very attractive, unique, romantic, fun, intelligent, feminine GF, 27-37, for friendship, dating, possibly more. !749660 JUST THE FACTS SBPF, 41, Libra, N/S, seeks PF, age and race unimportant, who enjoys dining out, quiet times at home, and movies, for LTR. !730225

May Member

FUN TO HANG AROUND WITH GWM, 52, 5’2”, smoker, enjoys playing pool, having fun, seeks outgoing GWM, 4055, smoker, with similar interests. !844895

How do you

SINGLE MOM Beautiful, plus-sized SF, 29, likes dining out, going to movies, clubs occasionally, cuddling. Looking for outgoing, fun SF, 25-38, for dating, possibly becoming serious. !997153

READY TO HAVE FUN! SF, 25, seeks femme, 25-35, race not important, who is nice, pretty, slim. Let’s talk and get to know one another! !895256

FUN-FILLED DAYS AWAIT SBM, 24, enjoys taking trips, nice restaurants, fun evenings, dancing, quality time together. Seeking masculine SBM, 20-55, for possible relationship. !894435

NEW TO AREA SBM, 41, 6’3”, 205lbs, brown eyes, handsome, Libra, N/S, ISO honest, sincere, fullfigured woman, 20-60, race unimportant. !928684

PLEASE, PLEASE ME SWM, 32, N/S, N/D, is looking for a woman, 27-35, with a petite build, to share good times, conversations and maybe more. !871092

LET’S SADDLE UP SWM, 27, 5’8”, brown/brown, Virgo, smoker, loves horses, camping (with or without the horses), and traveling. Seeking man, 25-40, who can ride, ride, ride. !921725 LOOKING FOR COOL CAT... to converse with. SBM, 34, Capricorn, N/S, game and drama-free, seeks BM, 26-48, serious-minded, with sense of direction in life. !889038 LET’S GET TOGETHER GWPM, 37, 5’9”, brown/brown, who enjoys reading, movies, politics, entertainment, seeks a guy for dating, possibly growing into more. !883365 RELAXING AT HOME SBM, 35, Virgo, N/S, likes relaxing at home, concerts, trips going to beach. Seeks fun, spontaneous SBM, 26-37, N/S. !532700 GREAT PERSONALITY SBM, 18, 6’3”, 220lbs, masculine build, seeking SBM, 18-29, very masculine, energetic, fun-loving, to go out for dinners, walks and more. !627150

WHAT A CATCH Slim SBM, 22, 5’10”, green eyes, looking for a laid-back, cool girl, 18-29, very attractive, open mind. Let’s talk. !952108

SEEKING SOMEONE SPECIAL SBM, 61, Virgo, smoker, likes reading, movies, dining out, travel. Seeking outgoing, caring woman, 18-55, with similar interests, for LTR. !850674

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Classifieds Alt. Lifestyles

Paula Sinclair from Atlanta

Saturday, May 29th Guest DJ Phoenix (coming) Friday, June 4th Time Free - Retro Dance to 80’s Music

MARLBORO STATION Aiken’s Ultimate Dance Club

WEDNESDAY Free Well Drinks 10 - 12 $5.00 Beer Bust THURSDAY Karaoke with Dana $50 bar prize FRIDAY & SATURDAY All you can drink Well Liquor or Beer $9.00

Open Mon-Fri 8pm-3am Sat 8pm-2:30am

Fri & Sat. No Cover Before 10 p.m. 1632 Walton Way • Augusta, GA

706-733-2603

Email: ColiseumAugusta@aol.com

Thursday, May 27

! !

Friday, May 28th

Mind, Body & Spirit

Free Pool - No Cover

! Friday, May 28 DJ Mark’s Dance Night & ! Drag Show with host !

! $1.00 Draft All Night $2.75 Wells ‘Til 11pm

Taylor Wanaman and Guests $3.00 Cover After 11 p.m.

RADICAL Forgiveness

Let go of the past and create a new Positive Future. An Easy, Step-by-Step Process that really works!

DJ Mark’s Dance Night and

Positive Image Awareness Center, Inc. 116 Shaw Street, Martinez, GA 30907

Sunday, May 30

(706) 210-4849 | www.RadicalForgiveness.com

Saturday, May 29 Chris and Kelly Male Go-Go Dancers

DJ Mark’s Dance Night & Our Go-Go Dancing is in Drag Show wtih Miss Peg and Petite compliance with Aiken No Cover City Codes and Ordinances

READINGS BY

141 Marlboro Street, N.E. Aiken S.C. • 803-644-6485

MRS. GRAHAM

DOORS OPEN AT 9:00 • 18 to Party • 21 to Drink

>> No Cover With This Ad <<

C A R D R E A D I N G S

Mrs. Graham, Psychic Reader, Advises on all affairs of life, such as love, marriage, and business. She tells your past, present and future. Mrs. Graham does palm, tarot card, and Chakra balancing. She specializes in relationships and reuniting loved ones.

341 S. Belair Rd. Open from 9 a.m. til 9 p.m. Call (706) 733-5851

Business Opportunities DRIVERS needed for restaurant delivery. Earn cash daily as an independent contractor. Set your own schedule with this BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY. Call 706-364-4460 www.2go-box.com/businessopp.html (05/27#8445)

Truck For Sale

Call 738-1142 to place your Classified ad!

T A N N I N G

1998 F150 4 X 4 Towing/Offroad Package Tinted Windows/Sliding Rear Window 5.4 Liter V8, 154,000 miles Black on gray, runs great, excellent truck, $8,800 Call 803-221-6760 (05/27#8452)

www.metrospirit.com Music

Tanning

S A L O N

9 WOLF TANNING BEDS THE CYCLONE & AIRBRUSHING “Ain’t No Line On My Behind”

Steven D. Kaplan Radical Forgiveness Coach Get Answers Angel Reading Sessions Love & Light Healing Center 2477 Wrightsboro Road 733-8550 or cell 951-1300 (05/27#8451)

Full Body Massage! Therapeutic tension relief, intense or tender touch, relaxing music, aromatherapy, by appointment only - $49.00/hr. Call Joy - 706-771-9470 or John - 803-361-8811 (05/27#8443)

Services

Poor Water Drainage? • French Drains • Gutter Drains • Catch Basins • Erosion Control • Waterproofing • Crawl Space

GUARANTEED SOLUTIONS

Massage Therapy $5.00 OFF, call 706-267-1835 Pager 706-841-0039 770-490-3608

www.metrospirit.com Education

LPN to RN in one year!

Scholarships are available for qualified licensed practical nurses to complete an associate’s degree in nursing in one year at Augusta State University. Enroll now for Fall classes. For more information, call ASU’s Nursing Dept. at 706-737-1725.

Religion Meditation & Buddhism Weekly Classes, Tuesdays, 7-8:30pm, April-June 22nd at the Unitarian Church of Augusta, 3501 Walton Way Ex tension, Ganden Buddhist Center, Everyone is welcome! (No Class 4/20 & 6/1) Call (803) 256-0150 or www.MeditationInSouthCarolina.org for more info. (05/27#8425)

706-869-9988

www.sundownconstruction.com Love’s Wedding Chapel All types of ceremonies NO BLOOD TEST!!!! NO WAITING PERIOD!!!! Love & Light Healing Center 2477 Wrightsboro Road 706-733-8550 or cell 951-1300 (05/27#8370)

Telephone Service Unlimited Long-Distance & Local Calling One Price, One Bill, One Company Keep Your Same Phone # Call 1-800-392-4050 Eula NEX X Independent Rep www.nex xrep.com/134741 (05/27#8439)

Travel

We want your dead junk or scrap car bodies. We tow away and for some we pay. 706/829-2676

Metropolitan Community Church of Our Redeemer A Christian Church reaching to all: including Gay, Lesbian, and Transgendered Christians. Meeting at 557 Greene Street, 11 am and 6 pm each Sunday. 722-6454 MCCOurRedeemer@aol.com www.mccoor.com (05/27#8128)

LICENSED • INSURED

METRO SPIRIT - MAY 27, 2004

Open 7 Days a Week (Peak Season)

Pilates

Do you need to Forgive Someone? Perhaps you should try

SPECIAL READINGS WITH CARD

THE COLISEUM

Premier Entertainment Complex & High Energy Dance Music

Call 738-1142 to place your Classified ad today!

Wheels

Kroger Shopping Center Across from the Augusta Mall

706-667-0120 www.sandsofsummer.com

Dead Bodies Wanted OR

706/798-9060

ONE IF BY LAND. ONE IF BY SEA.

DESIGNATE A DRIVER. WE ALL MAKE A DIFFERENCE.®