Metro Spirit 06.03.2004

June 3-9 Vol. 15 No. 44

Augusta’s Independent Voice

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Notice of Filing of Application for Certificate of Public Convenience and Necessity authorizing the construction and operation of natural gas pipeline, compression, measuring and other related facilities — Southern Natural Gas Company Triangle Project Southern Natural Gas Company (Southern) plans to construct, operate and maintain approximately 6.4 miles of new pipeline along and within its existing right-of-way as part of an expansion of its system. The project is called the Triangle Expansion Project. The Triangle Expansion Project also involves the modification of several customer interconnections, the installation of several meter stations, and the replacement/hydrostatic testing of existing pipelines, all at various locations on Southern’s system in Georgia as shown on the attached map.

Southern Natural Gas Company (Southern) plans to construct, operate and maintain 6.4 miles of new pipeline along and within its existing right-of-way as part of an expansion of its system. The project is called the Triangle Project (Expansion Project). The primary purpose of the Expansion Project is to connect the gap between its 20” pipeline and its 30” pipeline near Griffin, Georgia.

Southern is a natural gas company engaged in the operation of an interstate pipeline system for the transportation of natural gas in the Southeastern United States. Southern’s main office is located at 1900 Fifth Avenue North, Birmingham, Alabama 35203. Southern is a subsidiary of El Paso Corporation.

On May 18th, 2004, Southern filed an application with the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission (FERC) in Docket No. CP04-340-000 to begin the federal, state, and local review of its proposed project. Southern must receive approval from the FERC prior to construction of the proposed facilities. For anyone that would like to review the application, a complete copy of the application discussing the project is located at the Flynt River Regional Public Library Griffin, Georgia; and the Washington Memorial Library in Macon, Georgia; the Library System Headquarters in Jonesboro, Georgia; the Lithia Springs Library in Lithia Springs, Georgia; the College Park Branch Library in Atlanta, Georgia; the McDonough Public Library in McDonough, Georgia; the McCollum Public Library in Wrens, Georgia; the Monroe County Library in Forsyth, Georgia; the East Central Regional Library in Augusta, Georgia; the Hightower Memorial Library in Thomaston, Georgia. …(Libraries for counties of Auxillary sites and Hydrotests). Any individual has a right to request a copy of the application directly from Southern by contacting the company’s representative at the number below.

The facilities that Southern proposes to construct include approximately 6.4 miles of new pipeline along and within its existing pipeline right-of-way in Spalding County, Georgia. The project also includes the replacement of 300 feet of pipeline in Jefferson County, Georgia and pipeline modifications and/or meter station installations at existing sites in Bibb, Clayton, Douglas, Fulton, Henry, Jefferson, Monroe, and Upson Counties, Georgia. Finally, it includes the uprating of 7.4 miles of pipeline in Monroe and Bibb Counties, Georgia, and 11 miles of pipeline in Jefferson and Richmond Counties, Georgia, by means of Hydrostatic Testing.

Once the required regulatory approvals are received, Southern plans to begin construction on the facilities in the last quarter of 2004 with completion scheduled for April 15, 2005.

Should the Triangle Expansion Project directly affect your property, a representative of Southern will be contacting you to discuss the project. FERC has an information pamphlet available entitled “An Interstate Natural Gas Facility on my Land? What Do I Need To Know?” on its website located at www.ferc.gov that provides important information about an individual’s rights in dealing with a pipeline project. A copy may also be obtained free of charge by calling FERC’s Office of External Affairs at 1-800-208-1088.

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METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 3, 2004

Southern has mailed notices to governmental entities and to landowners directly affected by this project and to landowners whose property abuts the project.

If you have not received such a notice, your property is outside the area to be impacted by the project.

If the area of impact changes, Southern will contact all newly affected landowners. You have a right to participate in the FERC consideration of Southern’s application and to express your views to the FERC. If you would like to intervene in Southern’s application proceeding, you must contact FERC by writing to Magalie Roman Salas, Secretary, Federal Energy Regulatory Commission, 888 First Street, N.E., Washington, DC 20426. You must reference the docket number, CP04-340-000 in your correspondence with the FERC. Southern strives to be a good neighbor as it continues to provide a safe, clean, and reliable source of energy to your area. To request a copy of Southern’s application or to ask questions concerning Southern’s Expansion Project, please contact David Bowers at 1-800-633-8570, extension 7278, or by writing to his attention at P. O. Box 2563, Birmingham, AL 35202-2563.

Contents

METRO SPIRIT ON THE COVER 10

Teen Sex

By Brian Neill Cover Photo Illustration: Brian Neill Cover Design: Shawn Sutherland

JUNE 3-9 • FREE WEEKLY • METROSPIRIT.COM

18

10 OPINION 4 Whine Line 4 This Modern World 4 Words 6 Thumbs Up/Down 7 Insider

28 Michael Myers Is a Big, Green Ogre 28 Reel Time

METRO 8 Augusta’s Identity Crisis BITE 18 Mocha Delites Is Not Your Average Coffee Bar 19 In the Mix EVENTS 20 Calendar CINEMA 25 Flix

MUSIC 29 Sounds of Summer 30 A Wilhelm Scream: Still on the Rise 30 Music by Turner 31 Sightings 32 CD Reviews 32 Music Minis 33 After Dark STUFF 35 Brezsny’s Free Will Astrology 35 New York Times Crossword Puzzle 36 News of the Weird 36 Amy Alkon: Advice Goddess 37 Datemaker 39 Classifieds

25 EDITOR & PUBLISHER David Vantrease ASSISTANT TO THE PUBLISHER Dee Ramp ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Rhonda Jones ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT ASSISTANT Andy Stokes STAFF WRITERS Stacey Eidson, Brian Neill

ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Joe White ADVERTISING SALES SUPPORT Riali Blackstock PRODUCTION MANAGER Joe Smith GRAPHIC ARTISTS Ange Hagler, Natalie Holle, Shawn Sutherland

ACCOUNTING MANAGER/CLASSIFIEDS Sharon King SENIOR MUSIC CONTRIBUTOR Ed Turner CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Amy Alkon, Rob Brezsny, Rachel Deahl, David Elliott, Amy Fennell Christian CARTOONISTS Tom Tomorrow

Metro Spirit is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks of the year. Editorial coverage includes arts, local issues, news, entertainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum.

The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publishers. Visit us at www.metrospirit.com. Copyright © Metro Spirit, Inc. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. Phone: (706) 738-1142 Fax: (706) 733-6663 E-mail: spirit@metrospirit.com Letters to the Editor: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, Ga. 30914-3809

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OPINION

I

Whine Line

heard that Augusta is seeking a city slogan. How about, “Drive in Augusta — thrills and chills!”

Tell me if I’m wrong. I thought the U.S. Constitution guaranteed the right to peaceful assembly. Now Gov. Perdue (a true G.O.P.’er) has unconstitutionally denied this right to citizens wanting to protest the upcoming G-8 Summit.

What’s the matter, Sonny? Can’t take the truth or the heat? You remind me of that freedom only applied to people that think like me.

A question for all of the college students in Augusta. When you are taking a computer class (which, by the way, is required for graduation in your field) — keyboarding, Excel, Microsoft Word or any IP Microsoft related courses for instance — are your computers working? Or are you spending most of your instruction hour trying to log on? Half of the time you can’t and a deadline for completion for that course is required.

Re: “Al-Qaeda plans to hit us hard.” What are we waiting for? To hell with due process — give them a dose of their own medicine!

They’re animals; treat them as such.

On June 30, the occupation will end, but our troops will stay. Iraq will be given “full sovereignty,” but the new Iraqi government will have no control over American military decisions for Iraq. The Coalition Provisional Authority will end, but it’s handpicked. Ministers will continue following the authority’s policies. Iraq will have democracy but Iraqi citizens will not initially choose their own president, vice presidents or any member of their government.

And Abu Ghraib will be torn down. A new high-security prison will be built in its place. And they lived happily ever after.

People wonder why our town is a failure when it comes to attracting and retaining qualified leaders. One possibility is that Augusta seems to produce and retain the

most obtuse thinkers around. This is evidenced by our Board of Education and County Commission. Blind adherence to rules is a hallmark of our BOE and all of our supposed leaders. There is not much room for creative thinking in Augusta, Ga. — just look around. The zeitgeist of this town is one of mediocrity, laziness and a dearth of independent thought. No wonder fundamentalism flourishes here. The people are too dense or too lazy to stand up to it.

I am a store owner downtown. I want to know what gave the Augusta Housing Authority the right to the place the Richmond Summit Apartments here only to lower property values in the area with all the crime it causes.

Let’s look at the Department of Human Resources and its work in Augusta. Robin Williams and his crowd have been indicted for corruption and stealing from the mentally disabled. DFCS is currently under investigation for failing to protect the children under their care and mismanagement of their funds. And the Regional Development Center is being sued for improperly awarding millions of dollars of aging service dollars to a for-profit Florida food company. I am so glad the governor has finally made some changes and hired a new commissioner, Beverly Walker, to run DHR. It is about time.

To the whiner who made the bonehead statement about the “environmental wackos” who won’t allow us to drill for oil on our own soil and are the reason we are paying high prices at the gas pump. I’ve got a news flash for you: According to BP’s own Web site, we have enough oil reserve worldwide, at the current consumption rate, until 2017. Now the smart thing to do is to research other sources of energy. Whatever happened to American’s ingenuity? Look how we have advanced: We have satellites, moon rovers, Mars rovers that run on solar energy. The technology is there, but oil companies are suppressing research. Oh, by the way, we only have a six-month supply

Words “I always felt if we had a scandal, Robin (Williams) would be in the middle of it. He was an operator, an arm-twister. He was a Huey Longtype operator.”

— Georgia Rep. Mack Crawford (R-Zebulon), commenting to The Atlanta Journal-Constitution about the recent indictment of Augusta’s former state Rep. Robin Williams.

“It couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.”

— Georgia Rep. Sue Burmeister (R-Augusta) told The Atlanta JournalConstitution on May 31 about Robin Williams’ indictment.

of oil in Alaska. It will take over 10 years before the first barrel would hit the marketplace. It is not a quick fix. If we are going to spend time and resources on something, let’s do it on an unlimited source of energy, not a source that will run out in 12 years.

The answer to the fiasco in Columbia County politics is simple: Whittle for sheriff. He has an outstanding record of county support. Ford vs. Kernaghan — Ford has been nonproductive for four-plus years now.

Throw her out! Bumbling Tom Mercer — let him play tag in the halls of the county complex. Get rid of Joey Brush. And finally Cross — keep the heat turned up, and if he fails to resign before his term is up, vote him out next time.

If I were Austin Rhodes or Phil Kent, I don’t think I’d go for a jet plane ride with Robin Williams!

I’ve recently heard the big splash about the Main Street Augusta board choosing a group in Columbia, S.C., to help advertise the wonderful reasons why people should, of course, come downtown. Well, if they

actually put some thought into it, why not pick an advertising group from Augusta?

Why not put the city money back into a local business … who is Columbia to say what Augusta needs? Well, welcome to a dog-and-pony show. The top dollar will get you the top dog, so it is thought. The fact is that everyone including local advertising firms would probably all work together for a lower price to help Augusta for the sake of Augusta. They are our officials, and there goes our funds.

Who cares what Tammy Strange says or does? She isn’t very newsworthy.

The saying “You can’t fight City Hall” is a rumor started by City Hall.

Regarding SPLOST: What happened to the monthly reports and quarterly meetings that public works and finance used to put together that included the commission?

There used to be a program in place that worked and kept everyone informed.

Sounds like no one is minding the store anymore.

4 METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 3, 2004

continued on page 6

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1-800-NOTGUILTY E.H. Young Attorney

THE SECOND HALF OF THE 2 PART INTERVIEW WITH

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To Augusta Mayor Bob Young for telling The Augusta Chronicle that the commission should not rush the vote on the next phase of sales tax funding just because a few prominent individuals in the community, namely William S. Morris III and Frank Lawrence, want to hurry up and begin building a new $94

Congresswoman Denise Majette

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runs for Georgia U.S. Senate Seat

Conservatory Program Summer Music Camps 2004 For Middle School and High School Students ———–

Piano Camp – June 7-11 Choral Camp – June 14-18 Band Camp – June 21-25 Orchestra Camp – June 28-July 2 All camps met from 9 AM to 5 PM, M-F

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million sports arena. Young told the daily newspaper, “The schedule has to be more in tune to political reality than the season of a sports team.” So, Billy and Frank, it sounds like you better just cool your jets and be patient unless you want to end up paying for the arena on your own. Hmmmm ....

It’s funny how Richmond County school district’s Controller Gene Spires can blame the local media for what he called painting the board and Superintendent Charles Larke “as a villain” following Larke’s $94,000 vacation payout, when citizens and teachers were also the ones who were outraged when they learned the realities of Larke’s deal. Did the school board do anything illegal or improper? The state auditors say no. But tell that to the thousands of public school

teachers taking on extra jobs this summer to supplement their pathetic annual salaries. To his credit, school board President Jeff Padgett publicly apologized for the board’s handling of the vacation payout, but now, Spires has, in effect, taken that apology back by telling The Augusta Chronicle, “I don’t think he (Padgett) should have done that. We didn’t owe any apology.” Somebody needs to remind Spires who’s the school board president and who’s the board’s employee.

Call (706) 731-7971 for more information

continued from page 4 To the county commission: I have had my office downtown for eight years and I have had enough of the crime coming from the Richmond Summit. I am moving to Evans where there is no Richmond Summit to deal with. Bye-bye!

We are now treated to the Nanny State making sure we wear our seat belts — isn’t it sweet? And for the naughty, we have tickets … for our own good. Given by cops, who not only drive like cops (not a compliment), but who also don’t wear seat belts because they don’t have to.

6 METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 3, 2004

To the narrow-minded person complaining about “America; land of the free”: The restrictions you complained about are just everyday rules that you and, yes, everyone else have to live by in order to keep our society in livable order. Get over it. Take a look around at the hundreds of other countries in the world where people aren’t allowed to express themselves, wear what they want, buy what they like, listen to music, watch television, marry whomever they love or even walk the streets after dark. Open your eyes a little wider and you’ll realize just how free and fortunate you really are.

Presidential elections coming up — huh. I already know who the next president will be.

Sorry, I promised not to tell y’all who that will be. My friend who is a Supreme Court judge told me they recently decided who that person will be. Y’all will have to go and vote first so it will all look real.

To Marion Williams regarding your comments on drag racing: You said everybody loves drag racing — young and old, black and white, rich and poor — and that is not true. I think drag racing is dangerous and foolish. You have been inhaling too many gas fumes.

I was at a GreenJackets game the other night and they did an opening pitch for Tony Powers. I can tell you there are only two radio announcers that ever came through Augusta and made their mark, and they were Buddy Carr and Tony Powers. You can print this or not — it’s free.

Iraq is about three times the size of the state of Georgia. Apparently those complaining because we haven’t found WMDs have never lost their wife in WalMart or a mall. We know what our wives look like; we know they’re in the mall and it still takes a couple of hours to find them. WMDs will be found!

Hey! Whiner about the “Land of the Free!” If you don’t love America, leave it! Bye!

Call our Whine Line at 510-2051 and leave your comments. We won’t use your name. Fax your whines by dialing (706) 733-6663 or e-mail your whines to whine@metrospirit.com.

OPINION

Insider

Will Robin Williams Go Down Alone?

T

nail Walker. Also, one of the people involved with Williams is Chad Long, grandson of former Georgia House Speaker Tom Murphy. Are there other people and questionable activities that Williams knows about?

If Williams or any of the other indicted parties can save their hides or minimize their personal pain, it would not be unusual for them to provide information to law enforcement that would lighten their punishment.

Political insiders have been buzzing all week about who Williams would take down with him. His past dealings have certainly placed him in a position to “know where the bodies are buried.” It will be interesting to see where this investigation leads.

Dems Take Advantage Republican state Senators Randy Hall and Don Cheeks are in tough races this year. In November, Cheeks faces the winner of the Democratic primary election in District 22 between former state Sen. Charles Walker and local Sonny Perdue attorney Ed Tarver while Hall faces former Augusta Commissioner J.B. Powell in District 23. Political insiders speculate that if Walker avoids indictment he will likely win the Democratic primary and move on to beat Cheeks in November. The race between Hall and Powell is too close to call.

The delay or possible elimination of state funding for Fort Discovery by Republican Governor Sonny Perdue has certainly not helped the two GOP senators. Democrats have already begun bludgeoning Republicans over the move that resulted in a loss of 40 jobs at Fort Discovery, a reduction of two-thirds of the total workforce.

The action taken by Perdue has angered local Republicans and given Democrats a campaign sledgehammer in November.

Cheeks and Hall are vulnerable without the help of their good friend Perdue.

While Democrats are likely genuinely upset about the lack of funding and corresponding job losses, they are licking their chops over the political ammunition the situation provides. You can bet Republicans are squealing to Perdue to do something to restore the money. Stay tuned.

The views expressed in this column are the views of The Insider and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

OF THE MOST HOLY TRINITY The Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults (RCIA)

Classes begin on Thursdays in September (6:45 pm - 8:30 pm) • For more information: Director RCIA, Most Holy Trinity Church P.O. Box 2446, Augusta, GA 30903 kmp_mht@bellsouth.net • www.themostholytrinity.org • (706) 722-4944

Don’t Just Monkey Around This Summer!

Let Jesus’ Love Flow!

Lava Lava Island is erupting with Fun. Each day your children will be part of fun Scripture learning they can see, hear, touch and even taste! Kids will choose a daily challenge - an exciting way to live out what they’ve learned.

Lava Lava Island is an exciting way for kids to learn more about Jesus’ love.

They’ll enjoy hands-on Bible adventures, team-building games as well as great crafts and tasty treats. Each day will conclude with a festive Lava Lava Luau where everyone celebrates what they’ve learned. Family members and friends are encouraged to join us daily at 11:45 am for this special time.

Lava Lava Island begins on June 7 and continues through June 11. We will meet in St. Patrick Hall each day from 9 am until 12 pm. For information, call Clare Sullivan 796-1414 or the parish office.

Be a Good Sport.

Join the Team at SonGames 2004!

We’re excited about Most Holy Trinity’s first ever evening Family Vacation Bible School to be held June 21-25. This year’s program is SonGames 2004, a week of sporting good fun!

At SonGames, your family will discover how to live as members of God’s team as they Join In! Team Up! Get Strong! Keep On! and Celebrate! We will have a great time with lively songs, crafts, games and Bible stories - all the things that make Vacation Bible School so much fun. We have a great craft planned for the adults!

SonGames can be an inspirational and educational experience for your entire family. The evening will begin with a dinner at 5:30 pm and ends each evening with songs at 8:45 pm. Call Clare Sullivan today at 796-1411 for registration information and plan to join us for a great time at SonGames!

2004 Concert Series

June 13 - Corpus Christi Evensong & Benediction 4:00 pm Schedule Coming in July

Mother’s Day Out

Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Registration starts now for August.

“Georgia's Oldest Catholic Church” Corner of 8th and Telfair St. Historic Downtown Augusta

706-722-4944

www.themostholytrinity.org

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 3, 2004 7

he indictment of former Georgia Rep. Robin Williams by a federal grand jury last week sent shockwaves throughout the Augusta community, the state of Georgia and several other states in which Williams has sold his consulting services to a variety of political figures. The indictment charges Williams with conspiracy, theft, 10 counts of bribery, four counts of health care fraud and three counts of money laundering associated with his involvement with the Community Mental Health Center of East Central Georgia. Several other people associated with Williams and working for, or doing business with, the Mental Health Center were indicted on a variety of charges in conjunc- Robin Willams tion with Williams.

For years, friends and enemies of Williams have warned him that his fast-and-loose style and wheeler-dealer reputation would get him into trouble. Finally, trouble came barreling down on him. Very serious trouble.

He faces the possibility of decades in prison and hundreds of thousands of dollars in fines if convicted of all charges.

The high-flying Williams had become a paid lobbyist and consultant since leaving the state legislature in 2000. He served 10 years as a legislator before being defeated by state Rep. Sue Burmeister in an ugly election campaign.

According to friends of Williams, he has been rolling in cash since leaving public office.

Reportedly, he had bought an interest in an airplane and was learning to fly in order to enhance his business. His new job fit him to a tee. A perpetual salesman and professional schmoozer, Williams was right at home in his new career.

His instant success was meteoric. Now, it seems he’s come crashing down as quickly as he rose to financial riches. His clients are gone.

Politicians will quickly distance themselves from Williams and the government will likely eventually seize his assets.

Of course, Williams has only been charged, not convicted. He is innocent until proven guilty but it looks very bad for him. Even if he is not convicted on all charges, it seems unimaginable that he will get a free ride. No doubt the feds are squeezing Williams and his co-conspirators for information that may lead to other people in high places. After all, Williams has many close political ties to powerful people. For example, Williams and former Georgia Senate Majority Leader Charles Walker were cronies during their time in the Gold Dome. Perhaps the feds could use some inside information to help them

THE CATHOLIC CHURCH

METRO BEAT

Commission

Augusta’s Identity Crisis

By Stacey Eidson

I

8

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 3, 2004

f Main Street Augusta is serious about hiring a marketing firm to create an identity for the downtown area, Mayor Pro Tem Willie Mays wants to make sure that campaign isn’t afraid of a little color.

On June 1, the Augusta Commission approved spending $10,000 from the city’s promotions account to help the downtown organization begin its “branding” initiative.

Main Street Augusta has proposed hiring The Adams Group, a firm from Columbia, S.C., to develop an image, or a brand, for downtown Augusta.

Last week, Rick Toole, chairman of Main Street Augusta, told the commission’s finance committee that the theory behind the campaign is to develop a brand or identity for the downtown area that will create an emotional connection with consumers.

“It’s like, when people see the ‘Swoosh’ they immediately think Nike,” Toole told the committee on May 24. “We believe Augusta needs a branding that people will immediately recognize.”

Toole told the committee that The Adams Group will be discussing the program and collecting input from the general public as well as members of other local organizations such as Augusta Tomorrow, the Metro Augusta Chamber of Commerce and Destination 2020.

Destination 2020 is a future visionary plan for this region created by citizens from Augusta, North Augusta and Columbia County sponsored by Leadership Augusta.

While the majority of the commission supported Main Street Augusta’s efforts, Mays wanted to encourage the downtown group to include all races in its branding of Augusta before the city committed $10,000 to the initiative.

“I’m not going to rain on their parade because I think they are headed in the right direction, but I saw something that was promoted very recently, that a lot of us spent a lot of time on in this community, and that was ... the Destination 2020 project,” Mays said on June 1. “Now, I got my brochure about that project back the other day.

And I’m going to say it as kindly as I

“When you study something about how the future community is going to look in 2020 and everybody in there looks alike that’s very important because what it says is, what happened to the rest of the folk in that community?”

— Mayor Pro Tem Willie Mays

know how. It bothered me when I looked at the brochure.”

Mays said the brochure contained at least eight pictures illustrating the future of Augusta in 20 years and not one of them reflected Augusta’s diverse racial community.

“When you study something about how the future community is going to look in 2020 and everybody in there looks alike that’s very important because what it says is, what happened to the rest of the folk in that community?” Mays asked.

“Today, you can ride up Laney-Walker Boulevard and just go through the medical college area and look at the

beauty of so many nationalities on the face of this Earth down that one street.

But when I opened that brochure, I saw seven to eight pictures in there from 2020 that did not show that.”

Mays acknowledged that Main Street Augusta is a separate organization from Destination 2020, but he also pointed out that this marketing firm mentioned it would interview individuals from Destination 2020 when developing its brand for downtown.

“The strength of our community rests within the diversity of our people,” Mays said. “So, when I saw that brochure, which was not from this

group asking for this ($10,000), but they mentioned they would work with these same folks, I couldn’t believe it.

“In 2020, unless there is some different workings of DNA and scientific knowledge that none of us know about at this point where everybody is going to look the same way, that brochure is not going to reflect the future of this community.”

Mays told the commission he supported Main Street Augusta’s plan, but added that he hopes he will be much more pleased with its final product than he was with Destination 2020’s brochure.

“To be invisible and to be overlooked creates an insensitive situation,” Mays said. “I would hope that this group would be sensitive to such a diverse community and I also hope this group can go back and tell that other group that maybe they should improve upon what they are doing.”

Augusta Commissioner Andy Cheek said that many downtown plans suffer from an “intellectual disconnect” between their vision and the realities in the community.

“For people not to recognize the need to make our promotion brochures reflect what we really do look like in our city shows an intellectual disconnect,” Cheek said. “And it’s one that needs to be corrected.”

The commission voted 9-1 to support Main Street Augusta’s request for $10,000. Augusta Commissioner Bobby Hankerson voted against the motion.

Before the commission ended the discussion, Mays said it’s fortunate for those involved in Destination 2020 that he has matured through the years.

“Ten years ago, I might have raised holy hell about this same brochure, but I’m trying to do it in a very nice way right now,” Mays said. “I don’t think it was anything that was intentional. It couldn’t have been intentional because nobody could be that crazy.

“But I will say this: If you are going to call upon the rest of the world to come to your doorstep and you are not going to be sensitive about what you say or do, then to me you do yourself a serious disservice.”

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METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 3, 2004

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The Ins and Outs of Teen Sex: A Legal Disclaimer

By Brian Neill Marcus Dixon shown leaving the Floyd County Jail on May 3 after his aggravated child molestation charge was overturned.

Photo: William T. Martin, Rome (Ga.) News-Tribune

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METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 3, 2004

t just shows how convoluted and contradictory Georgia’s laws governing teen sex are that William L. Bowcutt needs a pen and legal pad to map them all out.

An hour or so spent with Bowcutt, chief assistant district attorney for the Augusta Judicial Circuit, does bring some clarity to the law.

But the information he imparts should offer no consolation to the typical teenager thinking of doing the “nasty.”

In short: Getting serious with a girlfriend or boyfriend can get you serious time.

Consider these scenarios involving a 15-year-old girl and a 17-year-old boy: If the girl and boy have consensual sexual intercourse, the girl may be sent to juvenile court on a misdemeanor fornication charge. The boy, however, could be charged with misdemeanor statutory rape, which carries a maximum one-year jail sentence and $1,000 fine.

“The statutory rape charge says that if a female 14 to 15 has intercourse with a male, no more than three years older than her ... then that’s a misdemeanor,” Bowcutt said. “As long as it’s consensual of course.”

But if the same two kids engage in

oral sex, things become more serious in terms of the law.

Although the girl, as in the first instance, could again be sent to juvenile court, the boy could face 10 to 30 years in prison on felony aggravated child molestation charges because he engaged in oral sodomy with a minor. Sodomy is defined as the act of contact between the mouth or anus and the genitals.

That makes the crime aggravated child molestation, placing it under Georgia’s “Seven Deadly Sins” statutes — guidelines that impose harsher sentences and allow minors 13 to 17 to be tried as adults (other crimes in that category include murder, voluntary manslaughter, rape, aggravated sodomy, aggravated sexual battery and armed robbery with a firearm).

That’s right. Oral sex, under current statutes, is regarded as a more serious offense than consensual sexual intercourse.

“And quite frankly, if a 15-year-old girl had oral sodomy with a 15-year-old guy, conceivably they could both be charged (as adults) with aggravated child molestation, 10 to 30 (years),” Bowcutt said. “Another oddity would be if a 15-year-old girl has sexual intercourse with a 17-year-old guy, you’ve

got the misdemeanor statutory rape. If the 17-year-old guy fondles her in an intimate body part — let’s just say the breast — with her consent, it’s still child molestation. It’s an immoral and indecent act with intent to arouse a sexual desire. So a mere fondling with consent of the 15-year-old is the felony of child molestation, 5-to-20 sentencing range. If you don’t have consent, you could go to sexual battery, a felony, but it’s only a 1-to-5 sentencing range.

“So, which is it? Is it the horrible act of 5-to-20 child molestation, when it’s with consent? Without consent, it’s 1to-5? It’s less serious to do it against her will than it is to do it with her will. That doesn’t make sense.”

BACK-PEDALING ON DIXON Inconsistencies like these recently came to light in Georgia with the recent verdict reversal in the Marcus Dixon case.

The case involved an 18-year-old high school football player who’d been sentenced to 10 years in prison for having consensual sex with a 15-yearold girl on school property.

Although the court determined that Dixon, an honor student who’d received a full football scholarship to Vanderbilt,

had not forced the girl to have sex with him, state statutes stood in the way of his being charged merely with statutory rape, a misdemeanor carrying a maximum one-year sentence.

Court testimony showed that the girl was a virgin and, as a result, suffered vaginal “injuries” during the act of intercourse.

Therefore, the judge, taking the statutes at their literal face value, had no choice but to charge Dixon with the more serious charge of aggravated child molestation, because he had caused injuries to a minor during a sex act.

The Georgia Supreme Court on May 3 issued a 4-3 vote reversing Dixon’s sentence, arguing that he should have been charged only with the lesser crime of statutory rape, since the act was consensual. Shortly afterward, Dixon, who had already been incarcerated for 14 months, awaiting appeal, was released from the Floyd County Jail in Rome, Ga. In issuing their opinion, the majority of justices called on the Legislature to bring more clarity to the statues, which they said overlap in some cases and leave room for court discretion, while at the same time allowing for none.

“We encourage the legislature to continued on page 12

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continued from page 10 examine this case and make a more recognizable distinction between statutory rape, child molestation, and the other sexual crimes, and to clarify the sort of conduct that will qualify for the ten-year minimum sentence accompanying a conviction for aggravated child molestation,” Chief Justice Norman S. Fletcher wrote in authoring the majority opinion. “The conflicting nature of the statutory scheme relating to sexual conduct, especially with respect to teenagers, may lead to inconsistent results.

“Under the statutes as they are now written, it is entirely possible that teenagers could be convicted of aggravated child molestation, and receive the concomitant ten-year minimum sentence, if they willingly engage in sexual activity, but stop short of the actual act of sexual intercourse, so long as one experienced slight pain or received even minor injuries incidental to the act.”

MORE DIXON CASES ON THE HORIZON HERE? Bowcutt has reason to want some clarity in the statutes.

There are several local cases pending that involve teens engaging in sex — cases in which the aforementioned scenarios could technically play out.

Although the assistant D.A. is prohibited from commenting on those cases, one of the most publicized involved three Columbia County boys, one of them 15, the other two 16 — who allegedly received oral sex from a group of girls ranging in age from 13 to 14.

Though juveniles, the boys were each charged as adults under the Seven Deadly Sins statutes with the crime of aggravated child molestation.

what I would like to see them do with the ages and the penalties. As a prosecutor, I have to subordinate my own personal thoughts and do what the courts tell me I’m supposed to do, which is follow what the Legislature says and what the court rules mandate that I do and, as the Dixon court says, limit my discretion so that my personal opinions matter less and less.

“If they tell me it’s statutory rape and it’s a misdemeanor, OK, that’s what it is. Whether or not I personally agree, they didn’t ask me.”

Front and back of wallet-sized card warning of the perils of teen sex that the Children and Youth Coordinating Council began issuing in 1997.

A source close to the case, who would speak only on condition of anonymity, said the incident involved four girls alternating turns at giving oral sex to the three boys in a Columbia County home.

The acts were consensual, the source said.

The girls were classified as juveniles and their names and charges, if any, were not released.

According to a March 19 story in The Augusta Chronicle, two of the girls’ parents declined to press charges, signing waivers of prosecution.

The boys potentially face 10 years in prison if the D.A.’s office decides to

prosecute and they are found guilty.

As a prosecutor, Bowcutt is supposed to leave his opinion at home, following the letter of the law in approaching each case that comes across his desk.

But he finds it difficult not to express his frustration at the way the statutes encompassing teen sex are written.

“I have personal opinions on all of these topics,” Bowcutt said. “I’m not an automaton who sits here in a vacuum. I read the newspapers, I watch TV and I have children and I have personal opinions as to how I would like to see things happen, the way I would prefer the Legislature to draft its legislation,

COURTS GONE WILD? Linda Pace, a Dekalb County public defender and advisory board member of the Southern Juvenile Defender Center — a program that works in conjunction with the Emory University School of Law — has been astounded by some of the cases coming through the legal system in recent years.

“We had an aggravated child molestation case where the 13-year-old girl arrived at the home of the 15-year-old boy with a box of condoms in her possession — she had gotten them out of her mother’s bedroom; she had 30 condoms — and there were three boys over there and she offered to give them all (oral sex),” Pace said. “And they did not turn her down and we ended up with three kids charged with aggravated child molestation, charged in Superior Court.

“You get some really ridiculous things.

You know, I’ve had a 5-year-old charged with aggravated child molestation ... for contact with another 5-year-old in a closet. You know, obviously that’s a situation where children need to be evaluated and counseled.” continued on page 14

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 3, 2004

Juveniles Sentenced for Sex Offenses*

Senate Bill 440 (Seven Deadly Sins) Began in 1994

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*

Source: Georgia Department of Juvenile Justice

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METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 3, 2004

S

usan Wilson sees an evergrowing dichotomy in this country.

Every day, at seemingly younger and younger ages, children are bombarded on all sides with sexual images, whether in advertisements, on TV shows, at the movies or in music videos.

At the same time, the prevailing wisdom in the country is that the only sex education young people need is an adult telling them not to do it.

For about the past decade, however, Wilson has bucked that trend.

Wilson publishes the Sex, Etc. Web site for the non-profit Network for Family Life Education at Rutgers University. The site (www.sxetc.org) is written for teens, by teens, and seeks to deal frankly with issues of sexuality young people typically encounter these days.

The site, in existence for five years, having culminated from a newsletter started 10 years ago, features articles on topics ranging from masturbation and avoiding peer pressure to birth control and how to say no to sex.

Parents be forewarned: The site does deal graphically with questions about sexuality.

Wilson, a 74-year-old Vassar graduate and former education reporter for Life magazine, says it doesn’t make sense to pretend that teens are wearing blinders when it comes to sex.

That’s particularly true, Wilson says, when studies have shown that teenagers — especially girls — are maturing at much faster rates. Wilson said experts attribute that faster maturation to things like food additives and higher body fat in adolescents, which is believed to spark estrogen production.

“So we’re going in two different directions here in this country,” Wilson said.

“We have physical pressures on kids, which result in sexual feelings and experimentation at a much earlier age.

And at the same time, certain people are yelling at them not to do any of these things. But they’re not very clear about what they are telling them. They’re just telling them, ‘Don’t.’”

Nonetheless, the Bush Administration has proposed doubling funding in next year’s budget for abstinence-only classes that exclude any discussion of birth control, Fox News reported.

Bush wants to funnel $270 million into such programs, despite the fact that researchers at the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have concluded that the best educational approach to curb teen pregnancy rates is one that discusses both abstinence and contraception.

A Michigan study cited in the Fox News story showed that sexual activity actually doubled among junior high school students taking abstinence-only sex education courses.

Locally, abstinence-only lessons are taught in eighth and ninth grades in Richmond County schools as part of Communities In Schools, a national, nonprofit program aimed at dropout prevention and life preparedness.

Mary Crawford, local director of Communities In Schools, said the courses meet standards set by the Georgia Board of Education’s Quality Core Curriculum guidelines. The course component typically involves abstinence-only instruction for one 45-minute period each week, for six weeks.

The curriculum not only teaches young people to abstain from sex, but also from drug use and peer pressure, Crawford said.

Crawford said she thinks birth control education would be inappropriate for the age groups targeted by Communities In Schools, and feels abstinence-only education likely does work. She added that Communities In Schools would lose grant funding if it taught anything else.

“I definitely would think it (abstinenceonly) would work,” Crawford said.

“Because of the age population we’re working with, if they’re given the message now that if you abstain from sexual activities these are the long-term benefits, it definitely would work. Because we’re working with children and if you’re teaching them about prevention, they may not get the whole message here. They may not grasp the techniques for using condoms. There may be mistakes, because these are children we are working with.”

But Charles “Chad” Hoffecker isn’t so sure abstinence is the sole message that will help kids.

Hoffecker, former general counsel for the Georgia Department of Juvenile Justice and an advisory board member for Emory School of Law’s Southern Juvenile Defender Center, has seen far too many juveniles convicted of sex crimes in recent years to believe the “just say no” message is helping.

“I suppose in a hyper-technical sense, that’s (abstinence) what’s going to keep the kids from getting prosecuted,” Hoffecker said. “But I don’t know that that serves them very well.”

If the state plans to continue prosecuting teens for consensual sex, as it has done in high-profile cases throughout the state like the recent one involving Marcus Dixon, sex education in Georgia needs to be addressed, Hoffecker says.

However, Hoffecker knows that won’t be a popular notion in a state dominated by conservative politics.

Photo courtesy of Susan N. Wilson

Is Abstinence-Only Education Working?

Susan N. Wilson “You know, if that’s (sex crimes) something they’re going to continue to prosecute, and imposing very stiff sentences upon these kids,” Hoffecker said, “it seems also incumbent upon the communities then, whether it’s the public schools, or the county boards of health, or the state board of health, to raise awareness of not only the legal ramifications, but the health ramifications. I mean, you have to kind of put sex ed on the forefront in a state that just had a great debate about whether or not evolution was even going to be in textbooks. And that may not be a political palatable thing to do.”

Another problem, Hoffecker said, is the fact that many confuse non-abstinence approaches with promoting sex.

“I don’t think you need to promote teenage sex to be able to have a substantive conversation with kids that are putting themselves at risk — whether it’s to be prosecuted or with communicable diseases — to educate themselves on pretty risky activity,” Hoffecker said.

Wilson acknowledges that some of the roughly 34,000 teens who visit the Sex, Etc. Web site daily are a lot younger than many people want to accept as thinking about sex.

However, though the site content is often graphic and frank in nature, Wilson said she hears from many younger teens who visit Sex, Etc. and decide that sex is not for them, at least for now.

“We hear from lots of 13-, 14- and 15year-old kids,” Wilson said. “But they tell us that what’s good about this site is that when they read these stories, it makes them decide not to have sex. It emboldens them to say no which, as far as we’re concerned, is just plain great.”

Pace said she’s also been surprised by the nonchalant attitude younger teens have about sex today.

“Most of the teenage girls that we’ve talked to in our office don’t consider oral sex to be sex. It’s really amazing,” Pace said. “Of course, we’re all adults going, ‘You don’t what?’ But no, they don’t really think of it as much more complex than French kissing. It’s a different world we live in and I certainly don’t think our sexual laws have kept up with the cultural mores, certainly as applied to teenagers.”

Pace said that consensual sex cases that occur between teens in her judicial district, provided the participants’ ages don’t exceed the three-year age gap of the statutory rape guidelines, are often dismissed with a reprimand by judges.

“Obviously, these (dismissals) are not cases where there are believable allegations by one party against another,” Pace said. “These are cases where it appears to everyone concerned that these are teenagers engaging in sexual behavior that then get caught and have to say something that’s going to make their parents happy and not punish them.”

Statistics from the Georgia Department of Juvenile Justice (DJJ) show that the number of teenagers in the state sentenced for sex offenses has risen 113 percent since passage of Senate Bill 440 (Seven Deadly Sins Statute) in May of 1994 (see accompanying chart).

Locally, during the five-year period from 1999 to 2003, a total of 32 juveniles from Columbia and Richmond counties received sentences for sex offenses according to DJJ statistics.

The majority of those juveniles sentenced — 16 in all — were charged with child molestation.

Additionally, eight local youths were sentenced on convictions for aggravated child molestation, six for sexual battery and two for public indecency.

During the same period, a total of 115 teenagers in Richmond and Columbia counties were given probation for sex offenses, DJJ statistics show.

Most of those — 38 in all — were for the crime of child molestation. Sexual battery was the second-highest crime category for which probation was given — 29 instances in all.

Other offenses for which probation was given included aggravated child molestation, 15 cases; sodomy, 10 cases; statutory rape, seven cases; fornication, five cases; criminal attempted rape, four cases; public indecency, four cases; Peeping Tom, two cases; and aggravated sodomy, one case.

In 1997, seeing the potential for cases like Dixon on the horizon, the Children and Youth Coordinating Council, a state agency under the governor’s office, continued on page 16

New Book Takes Controversial Approach to Teen Sex

T

een sexuality has been at the forefront of discussion these days, whether it be the debate over the influence on young girls by performers like Britney Spears and Madonna, or the preponderance of news stories about local teenagers being arrested for sex, consensual or not.

Perhaps adding fuel to the fire is a controversial new book by California author Howard B. Schiffer that not only explores and defines sexuality, but attempts to foster the notion that teenage boys should aspire to be good lovers.

“How To Be the Best Lover: A Guide for Teenage Boys” (Heartful Loving Press, hardback, 163 pages, $19.95) has garnered praise and criticism since it was released at the beginning of this year.

A casual pass-around of the book to parents working at the Metro Spirit brought an overwhelming response that the book was too explicit and contained material that only should be targeted to adults.

Schiffer, however, suggests that type of response represents the crux of the matter: Parents are too squeamish to talk openly and frankly about sex to their children.

In turn, Schiffer argues, those children find out through other avenues that aren’t always the most desirable.

Schiffer spoke by phone with us about his book and the state of teen sexuality, from his perspective.

that everybody is doing it all the time, on one level. On the other level, everybody that could give them information, like their parents or even their sex education classes, is really not telling them a whole lot. A lot of kids, when they first get into it (sex), they’re shocked because there’s so little to it, because they do it without any connection and without any relationship and it’s kind of empty and hollow.

They’re curious. They want to find out. They’re being driven with their hormones, but until people start giving them really clear information, they can’t make the right decisions.

Q: The title, at least to me, is kind of controversial. You know, “How To Be the Best Lover.”

That’s almost like suggesting a Kama Sutra for teenagers. How did you arrive at that title?

A: I obviously wanted to get teenagers’ attention, so I was trying to come up with a title that would grab them and say,“Hey, here’s a benefit; here’s something worthwhile looking at.” And what I found with teenagers is if you get too clinical or too medical, the wall goes up and they just dismiss you. They think, “One more adult who’s going to lecture me.” But if you’re really willing to give them some information and say, “Here’s some information and there’s a big pay-off: You could be the best lover …” So part of it was a marketing thing and I thought, it’s going to catch a little bit of controversy, but it will accomplish what I want it to as far as the teenagers go ... And what I tell parents after they react with shock and say, you know, “I don’t want to get my child a Kama Sutra,” I say, “First of all, it’s not in any way a Kama Sutra.” It doesn’t shy away from talking about sex, but it does put it into the context of relationship.

Q: I mean, it looks like you address masturbation, and maybe a little anatomy ...

A: Yeah. I mean, it talks about oral sex. It does not shy away from talking about sex. It doesn’t talk about 10, or 20 or 50 different positions. Because what I tell kids is that they’re going to get to explore this space themselves and part of the magic is discovering it for the first time with somebody that you care about. So I don’t want to give away the whole game. And the truth is that I can’t to a large degree, because every person that you’re with in your life is different and what works for one girl might not work for another girl.

Q: We’re in Augusta, which is basically the Bible Belt here. We [Georgia] had a fornication law [pertaining to adults], I think, on the books until just a couple of years ago. You know, abstinence is the order of the day, basically. And some of the kids who’ve been involved in these “sex parties” as they’ve been dubbed, face prison time. What do you tell people who may think your approach is too permissive or even suggestive of sex?

A: The studies that have been done have all shown that sex education does not lead to more sex activity and it does not lead to earlier sexual activity. It actually leads people to make better decisions. The abstinence-only classes when they’ve been studied, a year after the class, what has been shown to happen time and time again is that the kids who fall off of that wagon, which at least 50 percent do, are much

Q: I know you’ve also steered away from clinical type terms for anatomy and used words that typical teenagers use for their respective [male/female] parts. Why did you feel that was so important?

A: Well, I talked to teenagers when I was writing the book. And honestly, as a parent, I was a little bit gun-shy of some of the language, myself. But I felt that if I went too clinical — and the teenagers all confirmed this — that they would dismiss it as an adult book. They wouldn’t read it. They would just turn off. If I went too far in the other direction and used all the language that they use, I felt that it would be too crude and I would be kind of abandoning my own principles to just try to sell a book ... So I picked language that I felt was safe — that was kind of little bit cute, but that worked. It would cross the line, but wouldn’t cross it too far to where I would be uncomfortable.

Q: I read some supportive comments on your Web site from different people, but I’m sure you’ve gotten some criticism, too.

A: Oh, well [radio show host] Dr. Laura [Schlessinger] trashed me. She found a review on the book and she was just appalled. She just kept saying, “I can’t believe this. This is just shocking. I’m stunned.”

Q: You are not a psychologist or anything like that?

A: No, I’m a dad. I have a DAD degree, not a Ph.D degree.

Q: Have you received any criticism for that?

A: No. I mean, I’m actually getting asked to speak. I’ve been involved in counseling work for about 24 years now, so I’ve had a lot of

experience in that area. I was a mid wife years ago, so I worked with counseling and educating people in the area of childbirth for years ... So I’ve worked with people quite a bit, and now I’m getting asked to speak at the Associations of Marriage and Family Therapists and different pregnancy counseling groups. So I think my credibility is based on the work that I’ve done. And the book is groundbreaking enough that people are really excited that somebody’s crossed this threshold.

Q: How many kids do you have?

A: I have three. My son is 16, and then I have two daughters who are 9 and 11. My son is who I wrote the book for.

Q: What age do you think is appropriate nowadays — particularly given what you mentioned of the prevalence in the media of sexuality and sexual messages — to talk to your son or daughter about sex?

A: The first level I call the “sex talk” and I outline [the levels] in the back of the book. And that talk is about the “birds and the bees.” It’s the first opening of the door and that talk usually is between 11 and 14 years old. The challenge is that, your kids do not become sexual overnight. It’s a transition. And so one day they’re playing with Legos, and the next day you see them getting excited when they see a girl in a bathing suit, but then the next day they’re back to playing with Legos. So, you’ve got to know your own kid. Some kids, maybe it’ll be a little bit earlier, some kids it may be a little bit later. But in general, that first talk needs to happen between 11 and 14, because if you don’t do it then, then they get to be too cool and you haven’t made the bridge and they don’t think they need you anymore.

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 3, 2004

Q: Do you think young boys are even thinking in terms of being a “lover,” though? Aren’t they more preoccupied with getting to bases?

A: I mean, I think they’re obsessed with being sexual because they’re told it’s really important, their peers are pressuring them to some degree, and the images and the conversation they get from television and the media is

Q: Why a guide for teenage boys? Why not boys and girls?

A: Well, in all honesty, it was a gift for my son when he was coming of age [he was 13] and he was going to be starting to enter this territory and I wanted to talk to him about it. And it was written from my perspective, as a guy who had gone through this and now had a son, and so that’s the angle I wrote it from. Now the reality is that teenage girls have been some of the biggest fans of this book, because it’s the first book for them that validates so much of what they hold as being important in entering into a sexual relationship. It talks about connection, it talks about people being sensitive, it talks about going slowly. So for them, it’s a real validation and there are many teenage girls who end up getting it for their boyfriends and saying, “Read this. This is what’s important to me.”

more likely to have unprotected sex.

And they are the ones who are much more likely to end up getting pregnant or getting STDs [sexually transmitted diseases]. At the same time, I don’t think going with a safe-sex or indulgent approach works, either, because I don’t think you’re giving kids real information about what this space is really like. I think both approaches are actually not that far away from each other.

They’re both based on fear and they’re not based on real information about what this looks like ... I’m not advocating abstinence and I’m not telling people at all to allow indulgence. I think they’re both games that don’t win. But I am advocating intelligence.

And I’m saying that, if you give kids good information — teenagers are smart; they’re not stupid and they really can think — they will make good decisions.

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began distributing laminated, walletsized cards outlining the statutory rape law and also noting other potential ramifications of pre-marital sex, such as AIDS and pregnancy.

Although it might seem ironic to think that a teenager caught in the throes of passion would stop to pull out his or her wallet to consult the card, the CYCC even went to the trouble of translating its contents into six other languages — Spanish, Bosnian, Vietnamese, Laotian, Somalian and Korean.

Pace, however, thinks the Legislature needs to do one better by revisiting the statutes in order to truly safeguard teens whose hormones can end them up serving time with hardened criminals.

“I think one of the things that needs to change is that, only on the statutory rape statute do we have that age differential specified,” Pace said. “And it needs to be specified on all these offenses, that if the children are less than a certain number of years apart and the evidence is that both parties were consenting, it should not be treated as a felony. Certainly, not a serious, violent felony.

“I just think it’s wrong to criminalize this behavior. It’s socially

inappropriate because of the laws and because of the mores that these children have to accept.”

But with the current statutory scheme in place, Bowcutt, the assistant district attorney, can only offer this advice: Know the age of the person with whom you’re having sex.

“I don’t think a lot of kids understand that there are serious legal consequences to what they think of as being nothing more than an act that maybe Mom and Dad don’t want me to do,” Bowcutt said. “They think it’s just something that they’re going to get yelled at, and in fact, they can be criminally charged and whatever consequences that may bring.”

“Nature itself has probably matured that 15-year-old girl more rapidly than a 15-year-old boy,” Bowcutt added.

“Maybe a 15-year-old girl and a 17year-old guy are relatively similar in maturity. Legally, they’re not the same and legally that 17-year-old adult needs to worry a little bit about, ‘How old is this sexual partner I just picked up? Can I see your driver’s license?’

Well, that obviously cuts the mood, but the law says you’re responsible.

“And that’s the law. Whether I like it or not, that’s what we adhere to.”

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METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 3, 2004

hether from demand or simply because of evolution, coffee bars no longer seem content just serving coffee drinks. Walk into almost any such spot in town and you’ll find anything from bagels to sandwiches to desserts in addition to a full menu of coffee drinks. For some places, the evolution into a café is complete and they pull everything off quite well; for others, the food is obviously an afterthought and, as such, completely forgettable.

Mocha Delites, a locally owned franchise that just opened downtown, is named after their signature coffee drink, which may lead one to believe that it’s a coffee bar — it certainly has the required sofas and reading material. Walk into the bright and airy storefront at the corner of Broad and 8th streets, however, and you’ll quickly discover that this is more of a café.

A drink case with a variety of bottled beverages, for example, is one of the first things you see when you walk in. (Later, when you go around the corner, you’ll also find an area with self-serve fountain drinks.) The space underneath the register has baskets filled with everything from M&M’s and chips to PowerBars, and there’s a pastry and bagel case close by. Their food menu boasts breakfast (mostly consisting of build-your-own sandwiches), salads, sandwiches, wraps and quesadillas, while their drink menu has a selection of “signature drinks” in addition to the espresso drinks, regular

coffee, hot tea and smoothies.

For a first-time visitor, that’s quite a lot to digest.

Service is prompt (and perky), but it’ll take you more than just a minute or two to make your way through the menu filled with helpful and sometimes odd picture cues. I still can’t figure out why there’s a picture of George Washington next to the Rueben sandwich.

As far as the food goes, salads (Caesar, Greek and mixed greens) and quesadillas (chicken or cheese) are pretty standard issue. The panini sandwiches and wraps sounded a little more interesting and included the “Hot Tomazzi” sandwich (tomato, basil, mozzarella, balsamic vinaigrette on tomato basil focaccia) and a cucumber pinwheel wrap with dill dressing.

With all the interesting choices, however, we still ended up ordering what were probably some of the most basic items on the menu. I went with what amounted to a grilled cheese sandwich — the “Cheese Pleaser” ($4.49) included three kinds of cheese, tomatoes and balsamic vinaigrette on tomato basil focaccia. The bread, which included visible pieces of sun-dried tomatoes, was good and the balsamic gave the sandwich a tangy kick.

Also ordered were a Rueben sandwich (“combofied” with a soda and chips for $5.89) and a chicken quesadilla ($4.19). My dining companion enjoyed his Rueben, especially the peppery coating on the pastrami and the toasted rye bread. The quesadilla, served with what tasted like store-bought salsa, was good if a little bland. It was perfect for

MOCHA DELITES’ ASSISTANT MANAGER DAVID HUTCHISON WITH THE COFFEEHOUSE’S NAMESAKE DRINK.

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By Amy Fennell Christian

the 4-year-old with us, although a little expensive for a child’s meal.

Since I was at a place called Mocha Delites, I felt I had to try their namesake drink. Made with espresso, chocolate milk, whipped cream and topped with a cherry, I knew it was good when my companion liked it instead of turning up his nose and issuing his usual “too sweet” condemnation. I liked it too, although it was difficult to actually get at the drink through all the whipped cream. Yes, it’s a silly thing to criticize, but I got tired of getting whipped cream on my nose every time I tried to take a sip. During a return trip, I found that if I wait a few minutes, some of the cream dissolves into the coffee, making the drink much more manageable.

Considering that Mocha Delites is new, there were surprisingly few missteps. Our waitress was mortified when she forgot one of our orders (although I’m still not sure that it was completely her fault) and was equally embarrassed when she discovered the filled-to-capacity trashcan next to the front door.

Other than that, there was very little to complain about at Mocha Delites and this café/coffee bar seems to be a nice addition to the downtown area.

Mocha Delites is located at 760 Broad Street, 821-3320. Their hours are 7 a.m.-9 p.m. Monday through Friday, 10 a.m.-9 p.m. Saturdays and noon-6 p.m. Sundays. They accept all major credit cards.

THE REQUISITE COFFEEHOUSE COUCHES MAKE YOU FEEL RIGHT AT HOME.

in the mix Karis Watkins loves her job at Beamie’s — she must, because she’s been there for almost 10 years. Karis, a relative newlywed who’s been married less than a year, says that it’s mostly because of the owner of the locally owned restaurant. Her third and fourth loves are her dogs, a black lab and a Weimaraner puppy she just got this week.

What did you have for breakfast this morning?

A Cheerios cereal bar. I was out of milk or I would have eaten cereal.

What’s the most exciting thing you’ve done today?

I worked all day and I just went home to let my puppy out. My life’s pretty boring, actually.

What kind of animal would you like to be reincarnated as?

A dog because I know my dogs get treated like children.

It’s got to be a good life.

Photo by Joe White

How much money would it take to make you happy?

I’m one of those that preach on how money isn’t happiness, so this probably isn’t the best question for me.

I’m happy with what I have.

Cartoon character you most wish were real?

Yogi Bear because I think he’s funny. I like the way he talks.

Dumbest thing you’ve ever done Quitting college. I went back once for a short time, but I manage the restaurant so it’s kind of hard. Everybody could use a college education to fall back on.

First famous person you had a crush on?

I used to love Richard Gere because of the movie “Pretty Woman.”

Who would you consider leaving your husband for now?

Ben Affleck. I just think he’s really good looking and I like the characters he plays in movies.

Oddest personal quirk?

I never finish a sentence when I talk. I get called on it all the time. I get so wrapped up in what I’m saying that I can’t get everything out.

One thing that really scares you?

I’m really afraid of frogs, but not because I think they’re going to hurt me. I’ll run from a frog.

Karis Watkins manager/bartender, Beamie’s at the River the best way to beat cancer is to join forces.

care with dignity

University is the only hospital in Georgia to partner with the M. D. Anderson Physicians Network®, enhancing the level of cancer care available to patients throughout our region. True to its name, the value of this partnership is based on M. D. Anderson’s history of specialized expertise in the diagnosis and treatment of cancer for over 60 years.

University Hospital is pleased to announce this partnership with the highest rated cancer treatment center in the United States.*

Call 706/828-2522 or toll-free 866/869-2522.

WWW.UNIVERSITYHEALTH.ORG

19

* U.S. News & World Report America’s Best Hospitals Rankings

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 3, 2004

Twenty-seven physicians and surgeons, members of the University Hospital Medical Staff, have been fully credentialed as members of the M. D. Anderson Physicians Network®. These Network

Members have enhanced access to M. D. Anderson clinical care guidelines. The 100-plus detailed regimens for the diagnosis and treatment of almost every type and stage of cancer are based on scientific evidence and the collective experience of M. D. Anderson’s faculty. Clinical consultations with M. D. Anderson faculty are also available for credentialed members of the network.

Kids

Learning

Volunteers

Sports

Calendar Health

Education

Out of Town Music

Special

Benefits Meetings Theater Auditions Exhibitions Attractions MuseumsArts Seniors Dance Arts

AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF THE UNITED STATES AMATEUR BALLROOM DANCERS ASSOCIATION holds a dance the first Saturday of each month, from 7:15-11 p.m. Cost is $7 for members and $10 for non-members.

Held at the BPOE facility on Elkdom Court. Contact Melvis Lovett, 733-3890, or Jean Avery, 863-4186, for information.

Auditions ENOPION THEATRE COMPANY is looking for volunteers to act, sing, sew, build and more for their new musical, “Creation.” Applications are available at www.imaryproductions.com or by calling (803) 442-9039.

Music HOPELANDS SUMMER CONCERT SERIES concerts take place at Hopeland Gardens in Aiken at 7 p.m.

Concerts will be held every Sunday through August on the Roland H. Windham Performing Arts Stage.

Performances will include a variety of music styles, as well as dance and vocal concerts. Please bring a lawn chair or blanket to sit on. Food is welcome but alcohol is prohibited. In case of inclement weather, please call 643-4661 for info.

SWEET ADELINES HARMONY RIVER CHORUS OPEN REHEARSAL for singers each Thursday at 7 p.m. at Church of Christ, 600 Martintown Rd. in North Augusta.

They are on the lookout for voices in the lower ranges.

Contact Stacy Branch at 877-9931.

AUGUSTA CHORAL SOCIETY invites all interested members of the Augusta community to join them for a summer evening, in which they (the community) will get an opportunity to read through some great music with the chorus. Music will be provided. Event takes place at 7:30 p.m. in the choir room of First Baptist Church in Augusta. Call 826-4713 or visit www.AugustaChoralSociety.org.

CONCERTS IN THE PARK, presented by the North Augusta Cultural Arts Council, features quietSTORM on June 10, Savannah River Grass June 17, Blues Express June 24, Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold July 1, Thelma Robinson and Divine Providence July 15 and Fresh Music All-Star Big Band July 29. Call (803) 442-7588.

AUGUSTA PLAYERS will hold auditions for “West Side Story” at 7 p.m. on Thursday and Friday, June 24-25, and 7 p.m. on July 8-9 at the First Baptist Church of North Augusta, 602 Georiga Avenue. Roles are available for men and women ages 17 and up. Everyone auditioning must have a prepared solo, and will be required to learn a dance combo and read from the script. Call 8264707 or visit the Web site at www.augustaplayers.com.

Education ISRAELI DANCE WORKSHOP at the Augusta Jewish Community Center Sunday afternoons, 4-5 p.m. Open to teens and adults; no experience or partners are necessary. Cost is $2 per session, with the first session free. For information or to schedule a pre-class beginner/refresher session, contact Jackie Cohen, 738-9016.

ART CLASSES AND WORKSHOPS are offered yearround at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art. Classes and workshops are open to toddlers through adults and feature instruction in drawing, painting, photography, pottery, weaving and sculpture. For a newsletter or detailed information on registering for classes at the Gertrude Herbert, call 722-5495. The Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art also offers educational tours; for information, contact the education director at the above telephone number.

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 3, 2004

ART CLASSES FOR CHILDREN AND ADULTS at the Art Factory. The Art Factory also has a homeschool program and scholarships. Programs include painting, pottery, pilates, hip-hop, modern dance and more.

Classes are held at the Art Factory, 418 Crawford Ave., or at the Augusta Jewish Community Center. Call 731-0008 for details. .

Exhibitions

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THE 521 ALL-STARS: A CHAMPIONSHIP STORY OF BASEBALL AND COMMUNITY will be on display at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History through June 30.

EVENINGS IN THE APPLEBY GARDEN feature the Garden City Barbershop Chorus June 8, Augusta Symphony’s Woodwind Trio on June 15 and Savannah River Grass on June 22. Concerts at 8 p.m. on the lawn of the Appleby Branch Library, Walton Way. Call (706) 736-6244.

REDCLIFFE MANSION IS OPEN FOR TOURS THURSDAY-MONDAY. THE SOUTH CAROLINA WATERCOLOR SOCIETY presents its 27th annual awards exhibition which is on display at the Aiken Center for the Arts at 122 Laurens Street in Aiken through June 26. Eighty paintings have been selected for the exhibition and $10,000 in artist awards were presented to the top 30 artists. For info, call (678) 721-2506.

ARTIST DORIS SOFGE opens the very, very first Imperial (Theatre) Art, Wine & Theatre event during the June 4 First Friday from 6-9 p.m. The evening includes music, historic tours of the Imperial every half hour and door prizes. For info, call Barbara Owens at 722-8341.

MARY PAULINE GALLERY hosts Clay Moore (the artist, not the weapon), Raoul Pacheco and Barbara Bowen Moore for a First Friday show. Opening reception is June 4, 5-8 p.m.; June 5, 11 a.m.- 3 p.m.; June 6, 3-6 p.m. Michael Fowler and Alan Harmon appear on June 11 for a wine and tapas reception with the artists, 5-8 p.m. Gallery closed July 18-31 for vacation. Call (706) 724-9543.

WILLIAM AND ANN OPPENHIMER COLLECTION on view through Aug. 15 at the Morris Museum of Art. WAM Fest: Wheel, Art, Music will take place June 3. June 6 brings Artrageous! Family Sunday: Folk Art Sculpture.

Inspired by the artwork of Bessie Harvey, participants create sculpture with found objects. The Masterworks of Southern Art tour will be at 3:30 p.m. that day. On June 10, there will be a lecture presentation on Connoisseurship in Self-Taught Art by Brooke Davis

Anderson, director and curator, Contemporary Center, Museum of American Folk Art in NYC. On June 12, there will be an installment of the Children’s Performance Series — “Poetry Alive!” The event will transform verse into theatre. Museum will be closed June 29-30. Call 724-7501.

PARADISE OR PARKING LOT? Exhibit to show June 11July 23 in the Main Gallery of the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art. “Paradise or Parking Lot? Contemporary Views by Susan Maakestad and Hamlett Dobbins” explores what happens when two artists move from the country to the big city, where their environmental influence and inspiration shifts from natural meadows to skyscrapers and parking lots. A special reception honoring both artists will be held at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art on Friday, June 11, from 6-8 p.m. Both artists will give a brief gallery talk on their work. The reception is open to the public, with members getting in free and non-members getting in for $5. Regular gallery hours are Tuesday through Friday from 10 a.m.-5 p.m.

Saturdays by appointment only. Call (706) 722-5495 or visit www.ghia.org.

Dance THE AUGUSTA INTERNATIONAL FOLK DANCE CLUB meets Thursday evenings at 7:30 p.m. No partners are needed and newcomers are welcome. Call 737-6299 for location and info.

IRISH BAND CORNER HOUSE will appear at Broadstrokes Gallery in downtown Augusta, 8 p.m June 12. Tickets are $10, available at Broadstrokes Gallery.

Call 774-1026.

THE DIVA STRING QUARTET will perform at the Fillmore Coffee House at Christ Church Unity, 2301 Central Avenue in Augusta, on Saturday, June 5. The entertainment starts at 7 p.m. with a short intermission for coffee and snacks. Contact Marci Broadway at merci20012001@yahoo.com or call 738-2458.

Theatre ABBEVILLE OPERA HOUSE presents “The Complete Works of William Shakespeare” (abridged) by the Reduced Shakespeare Company, at 8 p.m. June 11-12 and 3 p.m. June 12.

THE AUGUSTA PLAYERS YOUTH THEATRE presents “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” June 17-19. Call 826-4707.

Attractions MOTORIZED TOURS OF HISTORIC AIKEN every Saturday, 10-11:30 a.m. Tours leave from the Washington Center for the Performing Arts. Reservations are required, and patrons must be age 2 and older.

(803) 642-7631.

AUGUSTA CANAL INTERPRETIVE CENTER: Housed in Enterprise Mill, the center contains displays and models

HEALTH PAGE

www.augustadui.com

Take care of yourself. Let University help.

Smoking and Lung Cancer

Tune in on Monday, June 7 at 9:30 a.m. to hear Tania Serrano, M.D., a boardcertified obstetrician and gynecologist who practices at University Hospital, discuss minority women and heart health.

According to Dr. Chan, there are two basic types of lung cancer. Small-cell lung cancer spreads aggressively and occurs almost exclusively in smokers. Non-small cell lung cancer is more common. It also primarily affects smokers, but nonsmokers may suffer from it as well.

Signs and Symptoms

Log on to learn more!

HealthMail offers you the opportunity to be notified via e-mail about upcoming events, offerings, news and updates of interest. All you have to do is sign up and choose which health topics interest you. You will then receive periodic emails about seminars, special events, current news and articles on your chosen topics.

To sign up, visit www.universityhealth.org and click “HealthMail” at the top of the home page. You will not receive any e-mail notices unless you register, and you may remove your name from the list at any time.

Health News

Stop smoking now. Research has shown that quitting smoking at any age can significantly reduce your risk of developing lung cancer.

“To prevent lung cancer we really need to keep young people away from cigarettes. If they never start smoking, they won’t become addicted to nicotine,” says Dr. Chan.

If you need help kicking the habit, University Hospital and the American Cancer Society sponsor a FREE four-week smoking cessation program known as Fresh Start. For more information or to register, call 706/774-8900.

If you’d like to learn more about cancer and steps you can take to reduce your risk, call University’s Cancer Line at 706/828-2522 or toll free at 866/869-2522 and request a FREE Cancer Information Kit. The kit also contains a cancer risk appraisal.

HEALTH SCREENINGS SUPPORT GROUPS

DINNER WITH THE DOCTOR “The Prevention of Heart Disease in 2004” Paul Cundey Jr., M.D. Cardiologist Tuesday, June 15 5:30-7:30 p.m.

Paul Cundey Jr., M.D., Cardiologist University Hospital dining rooms 1-3 FREE. Dinner included.

Reservations required. Call 706/868-3231 or 800/413-6652.

Pot Luck Club/Lunch and Learn “Food Safety” Francesca (Fran) Frye, M.B.A., R.D., L.D. Friday, June 25 from noon-1:30 p.m.

Community Resource Center 4106 Columbia Road Learn how to prepare, pack and store food during the summer. Bring enough of your favorite dish for four, and bring the recipe if you’d like our speaker to review it and suggests ways to make it healthier. Open to the public. Reservations required.

Call 706/868-3231 or 800/413-6652.

HEALTH INFORMATION , CALL

FREE Pulmonary Function Screenings Third Tuesday each month June 15 from 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m.

University Hospital Asthma Clinic Second floor, main hospital Appointments required. For more information, call 706/774-5696.

Cancer Share Support Group First Monday each month June 7 at 6 p.m.

University Hospital 10 West Family Room Registration required. For more information, call 706/774-8900.

Mobile Mammography Fourth Wednesday each month June 23 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

Community Resource Center 4106 Columbia Road Yearly mammograms are FREE through Medicare.

Seniors Club members and nonmembers welcome.

Appointments required. Call 706/774-4145.

ASK•A•NURSE

Pink Magnolias Breast Cancer Second Monday each month June 14 at 7 p.m.

University’s Breast Health Center Professional Center 2, suite 205 For more information, call 706/774-4141.

Voted Best Steak In Augusta For 15 Years 1987-2002

737-8423 (SER-VICE)

2856 Washington Rd. 73-STEAK 1654 Gordon Hwy. 796-1875

Augusta-Richmond County Civic Center Complex Upcoming Events

June 12 - July 13 Southern Classic Feis (Irish) . . . . . . June 12• Turn Out the Stars Tour 2000 The Manhattans; Millie Jackson . . . . . . June 25* Gospel Showcase 2004 . . . . . . . . . July 10• Augusta Technical College Graduation . July 13* No Sex, Safe Sex, AIDS Prevention Youth Campaign . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . July 24* For information call 724-2400

* Arena • Bell

DUI

Free Phone Call

William Sussman

Log on to learn more: www.universityhealth.org AT

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Request a FREE Cancer Information Kit

Your resource for healthy living.

COMMUNITY EDUCATION

E.H. Young Attorney

Take These Preventive Measures

OR

800/476-7378 (SERV)

———ATTORNEY AT LAW ——— 347 Greene Street • Augusta, Georgia

TODAY !

(706) 724-3331

21

F OR FREE 24- HOUR

• “smoker’s cough” that worsens • coughing up blood, even very small amounts • chest pain • shortness of breath • new onset of wheezing • repeated cases of pneumonia or bronchitis • hoarseness that lasts more than two weeks • fatigue, loss of appetite and weight loss

1-800-NOTGUILTY

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 3, 2004

University Health Care System has three newsletters to serve as your resource for healthy living. Get important information on health issues concerning you and your family, special events and classes throughout the year.

Sign up for Seniors Club, a publication for men and women over 50, Check Up, a general health publication and Uniquely You, with articles specific to women’s health.

To subscribe to any of these newsletters, please call 706/868-3231 or 800/413-6652.

Unfortunately, there are no symptoms in the early stages of lung cancer. “By the time most people with lung cancer see their physician, the disease has reached an advanced stage,” says Dr. Chan. When symptoms occur, they include:

The American Cancer Society does not recommend screening tests for lung cancer. “But many physicians believe that smokers, especially those 50 and older, should have annual chest X-rays,” says Dr. Chan.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“HealthTalk” on WRDW Radio 1630 AM

Lung cancer is the leading cause of cancer deaths in the United States, yet it is among the most preventable of all cancers. “Cigarette smoking accounts for 85-90 percent of all lung cancer deaths, and the longer and more Samuel N. Chan, M.D. people smoke, the greater the risk.

Medical Oncologist Exposure to asbestos, other carcinogens and secondhand smoke can also cause lung cancer,” says Samuel N. Chan, M.D., a board-certified oncologist who practices at University Hospital.

The Finest Southern Style Food in the City • Southern Classics • Fresh Vegetables Daily • Country Breads made Fresh Daily • Homemade Desserts • Ribs & Chicken (Saturdays) • Catering 3112 Wrightsboro Road

. 736-8344 . www.peasandbutterbeans.com

!

!

Kings Way Interiors Market Opening July 1, 2004 Now leasing showroom spaces for: Antiques • Specialty/Retail • Tea Room

2105-2109 Kings Way • 481-0402

!

!

(by appointment - Mrs. Reed)

Hawaiian Tropics Model Search Begins Thursday, June 17th

Teen Night Every Monday 8 - Midnight

Security provided by the Richmond County Sheriff’s Department

Bikes & Blues

Tuesdays: Featuring The Robbie Ducey Band Live Reserved Parking for Motorcycles Drink Specials - Complimentary Buffet Doors Open at 5 pm Champagne Jam Every Night At Midnight!

F&B Night Every Happy Hour Night! Never a Cover!

Tues-Fri 5-9 Complimentary Buffet $1.50 Drinks!

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METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 3, 2004

SATURDAY NIGHT REVERSE COVER CHARGE FOR THE LADIES! RECEIVE $5.00 JUST FOR COMING IN THE DOOR! $1000 in Cash and Prizes Given Away Every Night!

WE’RE IN

> > H I- F I < <

1082 Bertram Road - 733-9900 Across from Hooters behind Fairway Square

CORNER HOUSE IRISH BAND TO APPEAR AT BROADSTROKES GALLERY. focusing on the Augusta Canal’s functions and importance to the textile industry. Hours are Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m. and Sun., 1-6 p.m. Admission is $5 adult, $4 seniors and military and $3 children ages 6-18.

Children under 6 admitted free. Guided boat tours of the Augusta Canal will increase in frequency and length starting June 1 — one-hour tours will be offered three times a day, Monday through Friday, with an additional trip on Saturday. The full-length trip, which lasts approximately two and a half hours, will depart at 6 p.m. Saturdays. The one-hour tour summer schedule is Monday-Friday, 10 a.m., 11:15 a.m., 1:30 p.m.; Saturday, 10 a.m., 11:15 a.m., 1:30 p.m., 3 p.m. The 49-passenger Petersburg boats depart from the docks at Enterprise Mill, 1450 Greene Street, weather and water conditions permitting. Boarding begins 15 minutes prior to scheduled departure. Reservations suggested. Tour tickets are $6 adults, $5 seniors and $4 students and children. For tour information, call 8237089. For other info, visit www.augustacanal.com or call 823-0440, ext. 4.

THE BOYHOOD HOME OF WOODROW WILSON: Circa 1859 Presbyterian manse occupied by the family of President Woodrow Wilson as a child during the Civil War and Reconstruction. Original and period antiques, restored house, kitchen and carriage house. 419 Seventh Street. Open 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Tues.-Sat. Tours available; groups of 10 or more by appointment only.

Admission is $5 adults, $4 seniors, $3 students under 18 and free for ages 5 and under. 722-9828.

AUGUSTA GOLF & BOTANICAL GARDENS OF THE GEORGIA GOLF HALL OF FAME features beautiful display gardens, as well as bronze sculptures of some of golf’s greatest masters. Available for rent for a variety of functions. Group discount rates available. Closed Mondays; open from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Tues.-Sat.; open from 1-5 p.m. on Sunday. Admission is $5.50 for adults; $4.50 for students, seniors and military; $3.50 for children (4-12); free for children 3 and under.

Sundays are two for one with a Super Sunday coupon.

Annual garden memberships are available. Call 7244443 or 1-888-874-4443. Also, visit their Web site at www.gghf.org.

NATIONAL SCIENCE CENTER’S FORT DISCOVERY: Children and adults alike can immerse themselves in the wonders of science through live demonstrations, virtual realities, Starlab, KidScape and more than 250 hands-on exhibits. General Admission: $8 for adults; $6 for children, seniors and active military.

Group rates available. Operating hours: Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sunday, noon-5 p.m. Call 821-0200, 1-800-325-5445 or visit their Web site at www.NationalScienceCenter.org.

REDCLIFFE STATE HISTORIC SITE: 1859 mansion of S.C. Governor James Henry Hammond, held by the family for three generations until 1975. Grounds and slave quarters are open Thursday-Monday, 9 a.m.-6 p.m.

House tours will be offered at 1, 2 and 3 p.m.

Admission to the grounds is free. Fee for house tours is $3 for adults and children ages 6-17. For more information, call (803) 827-1473. Located at 181 Redcliffe Road, Beech Island.

SACRED HEART CULTURAL CENTER is offering tours of its 100-year-old building Mon.-Fri., 9 a.m.-5 p.m. $1 per person, children free. 826-4700.

AUGUSTA VISITORS INFORMATION CENTER open Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sun. 1-5 p.m. Located inside the Augusta Museum of History. Call 724-4067.

THE EZEKIEL HARRIS HOUSE: Deemed “the finest 18th-century house surviving in Georgia” by the “Smithsonian Guide to Historic America.” Open Saturday, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. General admission is $2; senior admission is $1 and children get in for 50 cents. For more information, call 724-0436.

PHINIZY SWAMP NATURE PARK: See egrets, blue herons, river otters and elusive alligators in their natural setting, just minutes from downtown Augusta. The park has observation decks, boardwalks and several nature trails suitable for hiking. Why not try out the Teacher Workshop: POW! The Planning of Wetlands? That is offered June 3-4. To register for that one, call (410) 745-9620. Swamp Saturday will be held June 5 at 9:30 a.m. Open Monday-Friday, noon-dusk, and Saturday and Sunday, dawn to dusk. Swamp Soiree 2004 will be held June 10 at a private home along the Savannah River from 6-9 p.m. Patrons will enjoy catered Southern dinner, cocktails, a raffle, live animal and fly fishing demonstration and the Carl Purdy Bluegrass Band. The cost is $60 per ticket. Reservations required. For more information, call the Southeastern Natural Sciences Academy Office at 828-2109.

THE AUGUSTA FARMERS MARKET ON BROAD is held every Saturday from 8 a.m.-2 p.m. until Sept. 25.

Located beside Health Central on Macartan Street from 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Accepting applications from vendors. Call (706) 722-7245.

Museums THE GERTRUDE HERBERT INSTITUTE OF ART in Ware’s Folly exhibits works by local and regional artists.

Art classes, workshops and other educational programming for children, youth and adults are held in the Walker-Mackenzie Studio. Open Tuesday-Friday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Saturday by appointment only.

Admission is free, but a donation of $2 for adults and $1 for children and seniors is encouraged. Call 7225495 or visit www.ghia.org for more info.

THE AUGUSTA MUSEUM OF HISTORY hosts permanent exhibition “Augusta’s Story,” an award-winning exhibit encompassing 12,000 years of local history.

For the younger crowd, there’s the Susan L. Still Children’s Discovery Gallery, where kids can learn about history in a hands-on environment. Located at 560 Reynolds Street. Open Tuesday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sunday, 1-5 p.m. New permanent exhibition, “Into the Interior: A History of the Georgia Railroad and Banking Company” also available. The Lindbergh exhibit has been held over until June 6.

Admission is $4 adult, $3 seniors, $2 kids (6-18 years of age) and free for children under 6. Free admission on Sundays. Call 722-8454 or visit www.augustamuseum.org for more information.

THE MORRIS MUSEUM OF ART hosts exhibitions and special events year-round. On June 3, the Morris features WAM Fest: Wheel, Art, Music. The event is sponsored by the museum’s Teen Advisory Council.

Highlights include pottery wheel demonstrations, art for sale by local teens, live musical performances and free food, 5-8 p.m. Admission is $5. On June 10, there will be a lecture entitled “Good, Better, Best: Connoisseurship in Self-Taught Art” by Brooke Davis Anderson, director and curator, Contemporary Center, Museum of American Folk Art, NYC. Event takes place at 7 p.m. Regular admission fees apply. On June 12, there will be an installment of the Children’s Performance Series: Poetry Alive! Event presents verse as theater, transforming poems into scripts, and audience members into actors. The result is a nonstop tour de force of words with a dash of silliness. Event is 2 p.m. Regular admission fees apply. June 6 is Artrageous Family Sunday with fold art sculpture, inspired by the artwork of Bessie Harvey. Participants create sculpture with found objects. Event begins at 2 p.m. Admission is free.

The Masterworks of Southern Art Tour takes place at 3:30 p.m. Admission is free. Closed on Mondays and major holidays. 1 Tenth Street, Augusta. Call 724-7501 or visit www.themorris.org for details.

Donations accepted during regular business hours, Tues.Sun., 1-5 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Call 7906836 for information.

THE MUSEUM OF LAUREL AND HARDY OF HARLEM, GEORGIA features displays of various Laurel and Hardy memorabilia; films also shown. Located at 250 N. Louisville Street in downtown Harlem. Open 1-4 p.m.

Thursday-Monday. For more information, call 556-3448.

GOLDEN HARVEST FOOD BANK needs volunteer groups of 10-20 people, ages 13 and up, on most Saturdays to help sort through donated products. If you’re looking for a group activity that is a little active, where you can help a good cause with your friends, call Laurie Harmon at 736-1199, ext. 208. No walk-ins please. If a group is not scheduled, we will not be open. The morning shift is 8:30-noon and the afternoon shift is 1-4 p.m.

LUNCH AT NOON LECTURE SERIES held the second Wednesday of every month at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History, 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Call the museum at 724-3576 for more information.

Special Events AUGUSTA SHOWCASE, an economic development campaign to market the area to potential business residents, will soon be underway. The Augusta Metro Chamber of Commerce is giving presentations on the effort. Contact Tammy Stout, 722-8326, ext. 2, to schedule a speaker for your club or civic group.

ANNUAL SKI & OUTING CLUB LAKE PARTY will be held June 26-27 at the Ridge Road Campground at Lake Thurmond. There will be a low country boil at 4 p.m. on the 26th. Campsites available. Free to members, and a $5 fee for non-member. For info, call (706) 651-0905.

AUGUSTA COIN CLUB to hold coin show June 11-12 at the Guest House Inn (formerly Shoney’s Inn) at I-20 and Washington Road in Augusta. Friday hours are 10 a.m.6 p.m. and Saturday hours are 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Admission and parking are free. For info, call David Chism at (706) 541-4143 or e-mail chism79@comcast.net.

FIRST ANNUAL FATHERS’ DAY PICNIC will be held June 20, noon-3 p.m., hosted by the newly formed Augusta Chapter of Fathers Are Parents Too, Inc. The event is for divorced, separated and remarried fathers, and will serve as an informal organization for the group.

FAPT is a Georgia-based group that promotes responsible fatherhood, fathers remaining an active part of their children’s lives, changing Georgia’s child custody and visitation laws and public awareness. For info, call 3737803 or 231-2311.

HYDRANGEA FESTIVAL to be held at the Pendleton King Park Pavilion Saturday, June 5 from 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

Festival participants will learn about hydrangea culture, propagation, pruning, new varieties, research, landscaping with hydrangeas and drying hydrangeas. There will be speakers. Pre-registration is required and forms are available at most local nurseries, or you can make out a check for $10 to the Pendleton King Park Foundation.

Call (706) 738-4321 or e-mail tkmills@knology.net.

SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER BLOOD DRIVES in various locations around the CSRA this month. For detailed information on locations and times to donate, visit www.shepeardblood.org. You may also call Susan Edwards at (803) 643-7996 for information on Aiken locations and Nancy Szocinski at 737-4551 for information on all other locations.

AMERICAN RED CROSS BLOOD DRIVES take place at the Aiken Red Cross Blood Center on Millbrook Drive and the Augusta Red Cross Blood Center on Pleasant Home Road. The Bloodmobile will also stop at various area locations this week. For a complete list, call the Aiken Blood Center at (803) 642-5180 or the Augusta Blood Center at 868-8800.

CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY YARD SALE to benefit homeless pets now accepting donations of goods for the sale, which will be June 5, rain or shine, inside the shelter at 425 Wood Street. Call (706) 261-PETS.

Learning USC-AIKEN CONTINUING EDUCATION offers Paralegal Certificate Course, Taming the Wild Child, Conversational French, Italian, Spanish for the Beginner, Sign Language, Debt-Free Living and more. “Travelearn” learning vacations for adults and Education to Go online courses also available. For info, phone (803) 641-3563.

AIKEN TECH CONTINUING EDUCATION offers Education to Go classes online, as well as computer classes, massage therapy, medical coding and billing, motorcycle safety, driver education and more. For more information or to register, call (803) 593-9231, ext. 1230.

GED CLASSES are offered by the Community Resource Center. Tuition is free. Call 722-4999 for more information.

SERVICE CORPS OF RETIRED EXECUTIVES (SCORE) provides counseling and mentoring to business people either starting or continuing their business. Counseling is free and administered by retired executives. For more information, call 793-9998.

AUGUSTA STATE UNIVERSITY CONTINUING EDUCATION is now offering courses in the following areas: History, personal enrichment, dance, exercise, youth, test prep, SAT prep, music, real estate, medical coding, investing, computer basics and more. There are also many online

courses. For info, call 737-1636 or visit www.ced.aug.edu.

FREE TUTORING offered at Augusta State University’s Born to Read Literacy Center, Monday-Friday from 4-8 p.m. Closed on Wednesdays. Call 733-7043 for info.

SOUTHERN WESLEYAN UNIVERSITY offers various business and education degrees for adult learners.

Classes are forming now. Call (803) 819-1106.

VACATION READING PROGRAMS are now active in all libraries. For info, call (706) 821-2604.

Seniors UNIVERSITY SENIORS CLUB has moved to a new location at 4106 Columbia Rd. University Seniors Club offers health screenings, support groups, health education classes and social activities. For more information, call 868-3231 or 1-800-413-6652.

HOME-BASED CARE available for low- to mid-income families seeking alternatives to nursing home placement. To participate, individuals must be aged 60 or up or must have disability status as defined by Social Security Administration guidelines. Applicants must also meet program income guidelines. For more information,

• A U C T I O N • SATURDAY • JUNE 19 • 10:00 A.M. Burke County – Waynesboro, Ga. 110+ ACRES

OFFERED IN PARCELS, COMBINATIONS, AND AS A WHOLE

• GREAT LOCATION • Minutes from Augusta & Waynesboro • PAVED ROAD FRONTAGE • BEAUTIFUL HOMESITES • QUIET AREA • COUNTRY LIVING

PARCEL SI Z 3+ ACRES ES T 20+ ACRESO

DIRECTIONS: FROM HEPZIBAH, US 25, travel 7 miles South to Winter Rd. on the right. Turn right and travel 2.4 miles to Story Mill Rd. Turn right and travel 1.3 miles to Corley Rd. on left. Property located .8 miles down Corley Rd. on right and left. From WAYNESBORO travel North 7 miles on Hwy 25 to Winter Rd on left then follow above directions. WATCH FOR YELLOW AUCTION SIGNS.

PHONE TOLL FREE 1-866-282-1705 FOR FREE AUCTION BROCHURE TERMS: Purchasers will be required to deposit 20% of the purchase price down on sale day, sign a real estate sales agreement with the balance due at closing on or before Monday, July 19, 2004. 10% BUYER'S PREMIUM ADDED.

Benefits P.O. Box 1438 • 15308 Hwy. 67 S • Statesboro GA 30459 Phone (912) 681-8595 Toll Free: 1-866-282-1705 Fax:912-681-8595 Tommy Childs - GAL# 819/Wayne Deloach - Site Manager Visit our website at www.performanceauction.com

23

AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL is in need of dog and cat food, cat litter and other pet items, as well as monetary donations to help pay for vaccinations.

AUCTION & REALTY COMPANY

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 3, 2004

SWAMP SOIRE 2004, a fund-raiser to benefit Southeastern Natural Sciences Academy, takes place Thursday, June 10, at a private home along the Savannah River from 6-9 p.m.

Patrons will enjoy catered Southern dinner, cocktails, raffle, live animal and fly-fishing demonstrations, and the Carl Purdy Bluegrass Band. The cost is $60 per ticket.

Reservations required. Call academy office at (706) 8282109 for info or to make reservations.

Blossom is a fragrance of sheer feminine delight!

Surrey Center • 738-8386

sweetbrierfair.com

THE CANAL IS OFFERING EXTENDED HOURS FOR THE PETERSBURG BOAT TOURS. contact the CSRA Area Agency on Aging at 210-2018 or 1-888-922-4464.

WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL offers Arthritis Aquatics and People With Arthritis Can Exercise. Call 823-5294 for information.

SENIOR VOLUNTEERS NEEDED for the new visitor center at Phinizy Swamp Nature Center to greet visitors, hand out literature and sell merchandise. Volunteers are asked to commit one Saturday or Sunday per month, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. or 1-5 p.m. Call 828-2109 for information.

AIKEN PARKS AND RECREATION offers a multitude of programs for senior adults, including bridge clubs, fitness classes, canasta clubs, line dancing, racquetball, arts and crafts, tennis and excursions. For more information, call (803) 642-7631.

YOUR FUTURE STARTS HERE! Personal and Professional Development Summer Continuing Education Classes Registration Begins NOW!

COURSES STARTING SOON!

REGISTER

24

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 3, 2004

NOW!

TO RECEIVE A CATALOG OR TO REGISTER CALL

737-1636 OR LOG ON

www.ced.aug.edu

Acting Workshop Aquacise Arabic Language Ballroom Dance: Beginning Intermediate Belly Dance College Admissions Workshop Deep Water Aerobics Discovering Disc Golf Drivers Education Fly Fishing For Ladies who Love Laughing Ice Skating Investing: Beginning, Intermediate, and Online Kaplan MCAT Kaplan SAT Prep Managing People Problems Medical Billing Medical Terminology Music Conservatory Online Courses* Photography Real Estate SAT Review Courses

Shag Dance: Beginning Intermediate Small Business: Starting Your Own Business Spanish Language Level 1 Stained Glass Tai Chi Verbal and Math SAT Skills Building Weeks Writing and Grammar Test Prep

We are proud to offer over 300+ instructor-led online courses. Internet delivery, anytime--anywhere. Attend classes in your pajamas, day or night, weekday or weekend. You'll find most of them listed on our website at www.ced.aug.edu and the entire list at

www.ed2go.com/augusta.

* See our online courses @ www.ed2go.com/augusta *

THE ACADEMY FOR LIFELONG LEARNING offers to mature adults lectures, courses, field trips, discussion groups and community information seminars on a variety of topics. For more information, contact the USCAiken Office of Continuing Education at (803) 641-3288.

THE SENIOR CITIZENS COUNCIL OF GREATER AUGUSTA AND THE CSRA offers a variety of classes, including ballroom dance, aerobics, quilting, tai chi, Spanish, line dancing, bowling, bridge, computers, drama club/readers theatre and pinochle. For dates and times, phone 826-4480.

SENIORNET provides adults age 50 and over education for and access to computer technology. Many different courses are offered. Contact the USC-Aiken Continuing Education Office at (803) 641-3563.

SENIOR VOLUNTEERS NEEDED for new docent training program at the historic home of Nicholas Ware. Learn the fascinating history of Ware’s Folly and the families who lived there. All interested should call 722-5495.

THE SENIOR CITIZENS COUNCIL offers many weekly life-enrichment programs for senior citizens, such as warm-up/resistance exercises and low-impact dance aerobics Monday, Wednesday and Friday; quilting classes Monday and Friday; line dancing Monday and Wednesday; Spanish Monday and Thursday and more; resistance floor exercises; warm-up, stretch and therabands exercise classes; line dancing; Spanish classes; Tai Chi; resist-a-ball exercise; bridge groups; bowling and pinochle. June 8 features two hours, of free bowling, a medication management class, and an AARP Chapter 266 members picnic. June 14 features a resistance floor exercise class. June 16 features a resist-aball exercise class. June 18 features the Life Enrichment Center’s nutrition group Father’s Day celebration and the Out-to-Lunch Bunch. June 21 is the date of the Spring Fashion Show. A kidney disease and medication management class takes place on June 22.

On June 23, the Life Enrichment Center’s nutrition program will celebrate all those who have birthdays in June. On June 24 there will be a bus trip to Hilton Head, S.C. and a Turning Point Investment Club meeting. Call (706) 826-4480.

EMPLOYMENT TRAINING FOR OLDER PERSONS and community service training opportunities are now

offered by the AARP Foundation Senior Community Service Employment Program. Opportunities offered to eligible Georgia residents 55 years and older. Apply in person at the AARP SCSEP office at 337 Telfair Street in Augusta, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. weekdays. Call (706) 722-4700.

Sports THE AUGUSTA VOLLEYBALL ASSOCIATION is looking for new members. For more information, visit www.augustavolleyball.com.

THE AUGUSTA RUGBY CLUB is always looking for new members. Teams are available for women and men. No experience necessary. Practice is Tuesday and Thursday nights, 7-9 p.m. at Richmond Academy. For more information, call (706) 729-9530 or (706) 394-2565. You may also visit www.augustarugby.org.

ROCK-CLIMBING CLASSES are offered in the Carolina Bay Nature Preserve off Price Avenue in Aiken. There are also drop-ins on Fridays from 5:30-6:30 p.m. Call 642-7631.

THE AUGUSTA ROWING CLUB is hosting National Learn to Row Day on June 12. Those age 14 and up are invited to come out and take a one-day course in rowing, and participate in a fun bike ride. Registration forms are located at www.augustarowingclub.org. Call 855-9710 for info.

AUGUSTA VOLLEYBALL OPEN will be held by the newly formed Augusta Volleyball Association on June 5-6.

Tournament play on both days begins at 9 a.m. at the Augusta Soccer Park. There will be men’s, women’s and co-ed teams competing. For info, call (706) 294-3549 or visit www.augustavolleyball.com.

TRI THE PARKS TRIATHLON takes place Saturday, June 5 at Mistletoe State Park. The race is a 2004 state of Georgia USAT Championship Sprint Event for both the triathlon and the duathlon. Races will begin at 8 a.m. with the awards ceremony scheduled for 10:45 a.m.

Visit www.tribluesky.com for info.

PRIME TIME SPORTS’ SUMMER HOOPS TOUR SERIES of basketball tournaments offers quality competition for boys and girls, grades 4-12. Tournament date and location in Georgia is June 11-13 in Augusta. Entry fee per tournament is $295. The Prime Time Sports National Tournament will be held in the Dallas Metroplex, headquartered in Plano, on July 28-Aug. 1. Entry fee is $395. For more information, call toll-free (888) 6438700 or visit the Web site at www.primetimesportz.com.

GUIDELINES: Public service announcements are listed in this section without charge at the discretion of the editor. Announcements must be received by Monday at noon and will be included as space permits. Send to Events, Metro Spirit, P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914 or fax (706) 733-6663. You may also e-mail listings to rhonda.jones@metrospirit.com or andy.stokes@metrospirit.com. Listings cannot be taken over the phone.

Bomb Epic

Hollywood

Flix Must-See

Boring

Comedy Sleeper Oscar Pick Director Stars This Rocks Famous Silly

Masterpiece

Action

Barbershop 2: Back in Business (PG-13) — Ice Cube runs the roots-deep Calvin Jr.’s Barbershop on Chicago’s South Side. Again, more talk rises than hair falls, though the scissors team from the 2002 hit has a new worry, a slick rival across the way. The best laughs come from Cedric the Entertainer as Eddie, with a broad beam and a ‘do to match. Eddie isn’t quite so rife with the riffs that won the first movie a little notoriety, but gets into a fine lip-off with the big beautician from down the street (Queen Latifah, offering an appetizer of her upcoming “Beauty Shop”). As long as it is simply being a barbershop, the gab has a razor-cut charm. Running time: 1

fiancée Helen (Bianca Lawson) at their engagement party, his life reaches an emotional low. He quits his job and begins writing a letter to Helen to explain his feelings. The letter snowballs into a book, which is quickly published and becomes a runaway bestseller. When Quincy’s friend Evan (Morris Chestnutt) decides to end things with his girlfriend Nicky (Gabrielle Union), he persuades his friend, the expert to do the deed. The plot twist is that, in the process of delivering the message to Nicky, whom he has never met, Quincy somehow remains anonymous as to his connection to Evan and ends up falling for her.

Dawn of the Dead (R) — Thanks to a plague, the United States is taken over by zombies. It pretty much follows the rules found in the “Zombie Codebook”: If killed by a zombie, one must return as one. Once turned into a zombie, one must seek fresh blood. One must also go to the mall. (To the mall?) The good guys, for some reason, think that the mall is a pretty neat place to be too. Needless to say, forces collide, with the good guys deciding to make a run for it to a (supposedly) safe island. But first, they have to get through a sea of the undead. Based upon the 1979 movie “Dawn of the Dead.” Cast: Sarah Polley, Ving Rhames, Mekhi Phifer, Michael Barry, Linday Booth, Ty Burrell, Jayne Eastwood, Michael Kellym, Jake Weber, Kevin Zegers, Tom Savini.

r “Sh

The Day After Tomorrow – (PG-13) – This

25

Dreamworks

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 3, 2004

ek 2”

Roland Emmerich-directed blockbuster centers on the popular end of the world plot. This time, long-term effects of greenhouse gases have resulted in the opposite of what scientists have speculated: the onset of another ice age. Dennis Quaid plays Professor Adrian Hall, a paleontologist who takes on the task of saving the planet from this impending demise of the human race and

RATINGS !!!! — Excellent

Az

Breakin’ All the Rules (PG13) – After Quincy (Jamie Foxx) is dumped by his

k

d an

Frankie Muniz, who is 18, playing 16 and at moments looks ripe to be 40, is agent Banks, a CIA operative on a covert mission to Britain. Kevin Allen directed like a giddy tourist, and the menu of Saturday daytime entertainment is served a bit more sharply than by the last “Spy Kids” romp. Cast: Frankie Muniz, Anthony Anderson, Hannah Spearritt, Cynthia Stevenson, Keith David. Running time: 1 hr., 24 mins. (Elliott) !!

hr., 40 mins. (Elliott) !!1/2 stars.

n” a ab

Prisoner o e h t f

Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London (PG) —

Funny

Not Bad

r

Drama

Wa rne rB ros .

Awesome

“Har r y P o t t e

Lame

all of the natural disasters that go with it (hurricanes, tornadoes, tidal waves, earthquakes, etc.). Hall must also venture North in search of his son Sam (Jake Gyllenhall), in New York on an academic competition. Cast: Dennis Quaid, Jake Gyllenhall, Ian Hall, Sela Ward, Emmy Rossum.

50 First Dates (PG-13) — Henry (Adam Sandler) is a vet at an aquarium in Hawaii and a serial seducer of island visitors, his policy being love ‘em and let ‘em leave. True love, of course, lies in wait.

At a picturesque diner, he sees Lucy (Drew Barrymore), and it’s love at first sight. They hit it off wonderfully, but when they meet at the diner the next morning, she has no idea who he is. Henry learns that Lucy, following an accident the year before, has that favorite Hollywood malady, amnesia. The romantic aspects benefit from being contrasted to the comedy, which is oafish in the extreme. Oh, well — you can always look at the beautiful island scenery. Cast: Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore.

(Britton) !!

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban – The third Harry Potter film in as many years follows the storyline of the immensely popular book: Sirius Black (Gary Oldman), long believed to be the right-hand-man of the evil wizard Voldemort, has escaped from the title prison after a 12-year incarceration. Safe within the confines of Hogwarts School, however, Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) is unconcerned with the revenge Black may try to exact

!!!— Worthy

!! — Mixed

! — Poor

upon him for rendering Voldemort powerless while Potter was only an infant. He later becomes more troubled when the Dementors, Azkaban prison guards, are called in to protect the school and Potter learns a dark secret of Black’s. Cast: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Gary Oldman, Robbie Coltrane, Michael Gambon Hidalgo – (PG-13) — Viggo Mortensen plays Frank Hopkins, who was an actual man and won a lot of long endurance races on a lot of horses.

Mortensen’s Hopkins has seen something (the Wounded Knee massacre in 1890) that drops him into drink and depression. He drifts into showbiz, working for Buffalo Bill Cody, which sours him further because he’s part Indian and knows the show is a brazen travesty of the expiring Old West. But he has Hidalgo, the mustang. The look in his equine eye always says “I’m a star, buster,” and in his tough American way he’s ready for the challenge: the epic “Ocean of Fire” race across the Arabian desert, up through Iraq and to the sea. Nobody should become too sophisticated for this sort of entertainment, which delivers great-looking people and animals and action to stir your most youthful blood. Cast: Viggo Mortensen, Omar Sharif, Louise Lombard, Zuleika Robinson, Silas Carson. Running time: 2 hrs. (Elliott) !!!

Jersey Girl – (PG-13) — He is PR wizard Ollie Trinke (Ben Affleck), she is darlin’ Gertie (Raquel Castro). Jennifer Lopez appears as the mom, who dies giving birth before Lopez can birth much per-

0— Not worthy

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (PG-13) — lasts 200 minutes, and some of those are long minutes.

The last 20 can feel like an hour, for clearly creator Peter Jackson didn’t wish to let his saga go. Bernard Hill, Viggo Mortensen and Orlando Bloom are impressive fighters, and Cate Blanchett makes a gorgeous Galadriel. This is posing, not acting. Sir Ian McKellen acts very well as noble Gandalf, but lines about heart, courage and fate make him Lord Fortune Cookie. “Lord” is all epic, all the time. Jackson loves battles, which means hurling dense masses of mostly computerized fighters at one another. If the climax battle this time is more overpowering than the Helm’s Deep boggler in “Two Towers,” does it truly deepen the story? Maybe it is just more spectacle, as climaxes are stacked high and then the epic winds down with Elijah Woods as Frodo (now mildly matured) exiting sweetly, his destiny done. Cast: Ian McKellen, Elijah Wood, Cate Blanchett, Viggo Mortensen, Ian Holm, Orlando Bloom, Sean Astin.

Running time: 3 hrs., 20 mins. !!

Man on Fire (R) — Denzel Washington is Creasy, a veteran pro killer turned alcoholic and drifter.

The Passion of the Christ (R) — Mel Gibson’s risky, passionate treatment of Christ’s

MGM

ul Plane” “So

last 12 hours, long on fear and gore and agony, devils (even Satan), sadistic and/or guilty Romans, hatefully smug Jewish priests and, above all, the tormented face of Jim Caviezel as Jesus. Gibson uses heavy, hackneyed devices and naive tactics; he thinks a few brief flashbacks to benign gospel episodes can offset and illuminate the relentless flood of anguish and bloodshed, and he comes close to making this a rite of faith-based sadism. It is up to believers to decide if Gibson’s Jesus is their own, but since no actor can truly act the Son of God spiritually, Caviezel becomes a sacrificial offering.

Cast: Jim Caviezel. Running time: 2 hrs. 7 mins. (Elliott) !!

The Prince and Me – (PG) — It’s about a fairy tale romance between Denmark’s Prince Edvard (Luke Mably) and an American farm girl turned workaholic U. of Wisconsin student, Paige (Julia Stiles). The plot twist is that Paige doesn’t know that “Eddie” is a prince, who has gone undercover as an exchange student. They have a quick, coy courtship, with fun on campus and Ed visiting her farm home, where he learns to milk a cow.

Of course, photo pests arrive, and duty calls Edvard back to

Touchstone

plays Helen Harris, a New York City socialite with a fashion career that keeps her busy and satisfied in the social eye. When her sister and brother-in-law tragically die, however, she finds that she was left to take care of their three children. Being one of New York’s elite means very little to the three kids, but Helen is determined to that she can raise them and keep up her fast-paced lifestyle. When she develops a genuine affection for the kids and a romantic interest in their school principal, she is forced to choose between the jet-setting lifestyle she once knew and settling down as a parent. Cast: Kate Hudson, John Corbett, Joan Cusack, Hector Elizondo, Hellen Mirren.

Secret Window (R) — Writer Mort Rainey (Johnny Depp), traumatized by divorce from Amy (Maria Bello), who’s taken up with her plot device of a lover (Timothy Hutton), is ready to become jellied putty for a grim rustic who trails Southern Gothic literary vines. John Shooter (John Turturro) shows up claiming that Rainey plagiarized a story of his, ruined the ending and deserves cruel payment. How, really, do you go wrong with actors like Turturro, Depp, Bello, Hutton and (as a private eye) Charles S. Dutton? By using them as spits for King’s brand of corn, roasted and then shoved down the gullets of the gullible. Cast: Johnny Depp, Maria Bello, John Turturro, Len Cariou, Timothy Hutton, Charles S. Dutton. (Elliott) !!

Shrek 2 (PG) – The algae colored ogre is back, and having already defeated Lord Farquaad’s armies and won the affection of Princess Fiona, Shrek must now face an greater challenge: pleasing his new in-laws. It turns out that Fiona’s family is royalty in a far away land and Fiona’s present state as an ogre is the result of a magic spell gone wrong. Naturally, Fiona’s blue-blooded family rejects Shrek solely on outward appearance, vowing to have their daughter cured of her condition and away from Shrek. Cast: The voices of Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, Antonio Banderas, John Cleese, Julie Andrews, Rupert Everett.

Soul Plane – (R) – In what may be the lowest point of artistic expression ever viewed or heard, music video director Jason Terrero makes his film debut about Dakwon Wade (Kevin Hart), a patron that sues an airline after a horrible airline experience. He ends up winning $600 million out of the suit and decides to start NWA, an airline complete with an onboard dance club and sexy stewardesses. A white family with the last name “Hunkee” causes problems, preventing the flight from going smoothly. Cast: Kevin Hart, Ton Arnold, Snoop Dogg, Method Man, Mo’nique.

Starsky & Hutch – (PG-13) — Viewing "Starsky & Hutch" is embarrassing, like watching Hollywood eat a cadaver in order to stay alive. It uses Ben Stiller as cop Dave Starsky and Owen Wilson as cop Ken Hutchinson, a nervous straight-arrow and a blithe screw-around shoved together by barking Capt.

Doby (Fred Williamson). At first hating each other, they bond as dude partners. There are drugs and cash and cars and whores (or "hostesses"), all filmed in the bleached yet florid visual cliches of bad '70s TV and films. The soundtrack digs retro vibes right into the grave. S&H underline and undermine every plot turn with a vaguely nostalgic, inanely satirical emphasis.

Movies don't have to be like this. Hollywood, please listen: There is no reason on the planet for movies this bad. Cast: Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughn, Juliette Lewis, Snoop Dogg, Fred Williamson, Chris Penn. Running time: 1 hr., 36 mins. 0 Troy (R) – Orlando Bloom is Paris, Prince of Troy, who falls in love with Helen, Queen of Troy (Diane

Kruger). However, Helen is wed to King Menelaus (Brendan Gleeson,) whose brother, the power-hungry Agamemnon, uses Helen and Troy’s infidelity to expand his empire by invading Troy. Brad Pitt is Achilles, the powerful warrior ally to Agamemnon who represents a worthy adversary to Priam, (Peter O’Toole) King of Troy’s defending army.

Van Helsing (PG-13) — Hugh Jackman is Gabriel Van Helsing, the world’s greatest and most successful monster hunter. He’s sent to Transylvania to help Anna Valerious (Beckinsale) battle a dream-team monster army. Upon his speedy arrival, he finds that Count Dracula has recruited every monster from history, leaving none for a possible sequel. Cast: Hugh Jackman, Kate Beckinsale, Richard Roxburgh, David Wenham, Will Kempe.

Walking Tall (PG-13) — is "dedicated to the memory of Sheriff Buford Pusser," the hero subject of 1973's "Walking Tall." Now there is Chris Vaughn, former Special Forces rock played by the Rock (Dwayne Douglas Johnson). The Washington state town to which veteran Chris returns has a new and gaudy casino not far from the sadly closed lumber mill. The casino king and town master is blond and blocky, played like a Northwest Nazi by Neal McDonough. His goons also sell drugs, and after Chris' nephew tries some bad stuff, Chris goes on a bashing rampage.

Soon, he is elected sheriff. Chris fondly remembers "the smell of fresh cedar" at the mill, and it is a grand slab of cut cedar he uses to slam heads, backs, legs and guts. The real love is that of the audience for Chris' indignant rages, his glorious and glowering ability to inflict mayhem while also trashing property. Cast: The Rock, Johnny Knoxville, Neal McDonough

The Whole 10 Yards – (PG13) — There are movies that could benefit from Three Stooges sound effects. This is one. Are there laughs? Sections of the preview audience thought so.

Mostly, these are less laughs (rooted in characters) than yucks (rooted in gags). These do not rely on wit. They spur an old sitcom laugh track taped inside your head from too many lazily filled hours. Cast: Bruce Willis, Natasha Henstridge, Amanda Peet, Matthew Perry, Kevin Pollak, Frank Collison. Running time: 1 hr., 31 mins. !!

You Got Served (PG-13) — Elgin and David are best friends who are serious about their hobby: urban street dancing. When another town’s top group challenges them to a dancing competition, the boys must create new, cutting-edge moves to stay in the game. Cast: Marques Houston, Omari Gran

— Capsules compiled from movie reviews written by David Elliott, film critic for The San Diego Union-Tribune and other staff writers.

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 3, 2004

Copenhagen, and Paige follows. We also get James Fox as the old king, wanly noble and happy about Denmark getting a commoner queen (the old queen, Miranda Richardson, has doubts). Cast: Julia Stiles, Luke Mably, James Fox, Miranda Richardson.

Raising Helen – (PG-13) – Kate Hudson

g n i s

Julianne Moore and Pierce Brosnan are battling but loving divorce attorneys in New York. They meet cute, and treat the law as a form of repartee. They first get into bed together by getting drunk on Cuban booze, then rebound into scratchy bickering as if sex had barely registered. Of course, they are falling in love, and you can find the sporty delays, as the plot bobs and weaves, cleverly amusing or compulsively strained. What dampens the breeziness is the slightly mothballed feeling that this has all been done, before and better. Cast: Julianne Moore, Pierce Brosnan, Parker Posey, Frances Fisher, Michael Sheen. Running time: 1 hr., 45 mins. (Elliott) !!1/2

Running time: 1 hr., 41 mins.

(Elliott) !!

len” e H

Laws of Attraction (PG-13) —

His old black-ops pal (Christopher Walken) gets him a Mexico City job guarding the precious Lupita “Pita” Ramos (Dakota Fanning), bilingual child of an American mom (Radha Mitchell) and rich Mexican father (Marc Anthony). We know Pita will be kidnapped by vile creeps, that the cops will prove corrupt or hapless, and that after taking bullets in his upper torso, Creasy will soon be on his feet as a revenge demon once a ransom plan goes wrong. If Creasy threw a snivelling thug on top of an Aztec altar and cut his heart out, it wouldn’t much surprise us. Nor does the “surprise” twist at the end. Cast: Denzel Washington, Dakota Fanning, Marc Anthony, Christopher Walken, Giancarlo Giannini, Mickey Rourke. Running time: 2 hrs., 10 mins. (Elliott) !1/2 Mean Girls (PG-13) — As Cady Heron, Lindsay Lohan is the new girl at a North Shore high school, fresh and remarkably adult after years in Africa with her parents. Cady discovers the school Balkanized among cliques, who hurl remarks rather than grenades. Cady, who seems haunted by the survival habits and water-hole imperatives of Old Africa, determines to join them. She’s pretty enough, even pliable enough to win the favor of Regina (Rachel McAdams), leader of the tiara twinks, aka “The Plastics,” and though there is a plan for Cady to subvert the group and undermine Regina, she blends in with almost lobotomized ease. This is one of the turn-on-adime plot comedies that has it both ways. “Mean Girls” has a wee plastic heart. And parts of it are quite funny.

Cast: Lindsay Lohan, Rachel McAdams, Tim Meadows, Tina Fey, Lizzy Caplan. Running time: 1 hr., 35 mins.

(Elliott) !!1/2

“R a i

formance. Ollie has already blown his big talent agency job in the Big Apple, settling sourly for the prune pit of a town in New Jersey. He moves into the Jersey home of slobby dad Bart (George Carlin). Liv Tyler is Maya, a grad student and video store clerk. She’s real, funny, charming and imperatively sexy. Tyler and Affleck are cute as puppies, but is that enough? Director Kevin Smith, reaching into his most tender feelings, comes up with hairballs of hokum. Cast: Ben Affleck, George Carlin, Liv Tyler, Jennifer Lopez, Raquel Castro, Jason Biggs, Matt Damon, Mike Starr. Running time: 1 hr., 43 mins. !!

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METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 3, 2004

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Barry Koenig Photography Bistro 491 Ronald W. Bowers, DDS Calvert’s Restaurant Charleston Street Gardens Chico’s Coconuts Nightlife Coco’s Cabana Curves for Women Design Images & Gifts Dot Holland’s Elements

Fashion Plate Fetch Dog Treats French Market Grille Fringe Benefits Gentry Men’s Shop House of the Bride Jancys Jos. A. Bank Clothiers Main & Taylor Shoe Salon Merry Times My Friend’s Place Pickles & Ice Cream

PJ’s Coffee & Tea Cafe Posh Tots Children's Boutique Rivers & Glen Trading Co. Rugs of Distinction Simply Irresistible Soho Surrey Center Pharmacy Surrey Tavern Susan’s Sweetbrier Fair Talbots The Swank Company

The Toy Box TravelMasters Sports & Entertainment UBS/Paine Webber Via Mizner Villa Village Vogue Cleaners White Horse Package Store Wife Saver

www.surreycenter.com • Corner of Highland Avenue/Berkman’s Road at Wheeler Road

flix reel time

Michael Myers Is a Big, Green Ogre

By Joey Berlin

T

EVANS 14 CINEMAS

Movies Good 6/4-6/10 Jimmy Neutron (G) Tues and Thur: 10:30 a.m.

The Flintstones (PG) Tues and Thur: 10:30 a.m.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (PG) 12:30, 1:15, 2:00,3:45, 4:30, 5:15, 7:00, 8:15, 9:00, 10:00 The Day After Tomorrow (PG-13) 12:45, 2:15, 3:30, 5:00, 6:15, 7:40, 9:15, 10:15

MASTERS 7 CINEMAS

Movies Good 6/4-6/10 Whole Ten Yards (PG-13) 1:10, 3:10, 5:10, 7:30, 9:45 Jersey Girl (PG-13) 1:45, 4:15, 7:10, 9:25 Walking Tall (PG-13) 1:00, 3:00, 5:00, 7:20, 9:40 Hidalgo (PG-13) 1:10, 4:00, 6:45, 9:30 The Prince and Me (PG) 1:30, 4:30, 7:00, 9:20 Passion of the Christ (R) 1:15, 6:50 50 First Dates (PG-13) 1:05, 3:05, 5:05, 7:05, 9:15 Barbershop 2 (PG-13) 4:10, 9:35 REGAL 12 CINEMAS

Movies Good 6/4-6/10 Jersey Girl (PG-13) 12:45, 3:00, 5:10, 7:20, 9:30 Laws of Attraction (PG-13) 12:45, 2:50, 4:55, 7:00, 9:05 Whole Ten Yards (PG-13) 1:05, 3:10, 5:20, 7:30, 9:35 Agent Cody Banks: Destination London (PG) 12:50, 3:00, 5:05, 7:10, 9:15 Barbershop 2 (PG-13) 1:30, 4:45, 7:00, 9:15 Hidalgo (PG-13) 1:25, 4:50, 7:45 Starsky and Hutch (PG-13) 1:00, 3:10, 5:15, 7:20, 9:25 Walking Tall (PG-13) 1:00, 2:55, 5:00, 7:05, 9:10 50 First Dates (PG-13) 1:10, 3:15, 5:20, 7:25, 9:35 Secret Window (PG-13) 12:55, 3:05, 5:10, 7:15, 9:20 Dawn of the Dead (R) 1:15, 3:20, 5:25, 7:35, 9:40 You Got Served (PG-13) 1:20, 3:25, 5:30, 7:40, 9:45

M O V I E L I S T I N G S A R E S U B J E C T C H A N G E W I T H O U T N O T I C E .

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motto would be “always improve.” It’s a very intoxicating and infectious atmosphere.

Q: How did you first get involved with “Shrek”?

A: I ran into Jeffrey Katzenberg, one of the co-founders of DreamWorks, at the premiere of “Saving Private Ryan.” He came over to me and said, “Are you interested in doing animation?” The next day I got a call from him and he says, “We have this fairy tale called ‘Shrek.’” I thought, “Shrek?

What a terrible name! It’ll never take off.”

Literally, I had the audacity to say to him, “Is there any play in the name? Can you change the name?” He says, “No, we’re quite confident in it.” So I thought, “Always listen to Jeffrey Katzenberg.”

Q: Did you decide right away what kind of accent to use for Shrek’s voice?

A: For the original film, I first recorded it with a Canadian accent and I just didn’t connect to it, somehow. I thought about my mother, who’s from Liverpool. She has an English accent and I liked when she would read stories to me. So then I thought Shrek should sound Scottish, because it’s working-class and I think ogres are working-class. So I redid the whole recording.

But they had already done, like, threefifths of it at tremendous expense, which they didn’t tell me about.

Q: So you did not realize they did so much over again, with your new Scottish voice?

A: Yeah, they redid it anyway, and I was really happy with it. I got a wonderful letter from Steven Spielberg saying, “Dear Mike.

Thank you so much for caring, and thank you so much for insisting on it being better.”

Later on I found out how much they had already spent on it. Ouch! I wish they had told me, but they didn’t. And, in many ways, I guess I’m glad they didn’t.

Movies Good 6/4-6/10 Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (PG) Fri-Sat: 10:00, 10:30, 11:00, 11:30, 12:00, 12:30, 1:10, 1:40, 2:10, 2:40, 3:10, 3:40, 4:20, 4:50, 5:20, 6:00, 6:30, 7:00, 7:30, 8:00, 8:30, 9:10, 9:40, 10:10, 10:40, 11:10, 11:40, 12:15; Sun-Thur: 10:00, 10:30, 11:00, 11:30, 12:00, 12:30, 1:10, 1:40, 2:10, 2:40, 3:10, 3:40, 4:20, 4:50, 5:20, 6:00, 6:30, 7:00, 7:30, 8:00, 8:30, 9:10, 9:40, 10:10, 10:40 Day After Tomorrow (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 10:20, 10:50, 11:20, 11:50, 1:10, 1:35, 2:10, 2:45, 3:55, 4:30, 5:00, 5:30, 6:50, 7:20, 7:50, 8:20, 9:40, 10:10, 10:45, 11:20, 12:30; Sun: 10:20, 10:50, 11:20, 11:50, 1:10, 1:35, 2:10, 2:45, 3:55, 4:30, 5:00, 5:30, 6:50, 7:20, 7:50, 8:20, 9:40, 10:10, 10:45; Mon-Thur: 10:20, 10:50, 11:20, 11:50, 1:10, 1:35, 2:10, 2:45, 3:55, 4:30, 5:00, 5:30, 6:50, 7:20, 7:50, 8:20, 9:40, 10:10, 10:45 Raising Helen (PG-13) 10:40, 11:20, 1:30, 2:00, 4:10, 6:50, 7:15, 9:30 Soul Plane (R) Fri-Sat: 10:15, 1:45, 4:00, 5:00, 7:25, 9:35, 9:55, 11:45; Sun-Thur: 10:15, 1:45, 4:00, 5:00, 7:25, 9:35, 9:55 Shrek 2 (PG) Fri-Sat: 10:10, 10:35, 11:05, 11:25, 12:35, 1:00, 1:25, 1:45, 2:50, 3:20, 3:45, 4:05, 5:10, 5:45, 6:05, 6:30, 8:05, 8:35, 9:00, 10:25, 10:55, 11:20; Sun-Thur: 10:10, 10:35, 11:05, 11:25, 12:35, 1:00, 1:25, 1:45, 2:50, 3:20, 3:45, 4:05, 5:10, 5:45, 6:05, 6:30, 8:05, 8:35, 9:00, 10:25, 10:55 Breakin’ All the Rules (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 10:55, 1:15, 3:20, 5:40, 7:45, 10:05, 12:10; Sun-Thur: 10:55, 1:15, 3:20, 5:40, 7:45, 10:05 Troy (R) 11:25, 2:55, 6:25, 10:00 Van Helsing (PG-13) 10:05, 1:20, 4:35, 7:35, 10:35 Man on Fire (R) 7:30, 10:40

Raising Helen (PG-13) 1:05, 3:50, 6:50, 9:40 Soul Plane (R) 1:40, 3:40, 5:40, 7:50, 9:55 Shrek 2 (PG) 12:15, 1:00, 1:45, 2:30, 3:15, 4:00, 4:45, 5:30, 6:30, 7:15, 8:00, 8:45, 9:30 Troy (R) 12:20, 1:30, 4:10, 5:45, 7:30, 9:10 Van Helsing (PG-13) 12:50, 4:20, 7:05, 9:50 Mean Girls (PG-13) 12:25, 2:40, 4:50, 7:20, 9:25

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 3, 2004

he disembodied voice of Canadian comedian Mike Myers helped propel “Shrek 2” to mega-blockbuster status. With Myers once again voicing the jolly green giant, the funny and twisted sequel has earned a huge pile of green at the box office.

In “Shrek 2,” the computer-generated ogre and his beloved Princess Fiona (voiced by Cameron Diaz) are newlyweds. Her parents, the King and Queen of Far Far Away, are appalled at the fate of their daughter. Eddie Murphy also returns as the voice of Donkey, while Antonio Banderas is hilarious voicing the swashbuckling, ogre-slaying Puss-In-Boots.

For Myers, 41, “Shrek 2” is a return to top form after both of his 2003 releases, “The Cat in the Hat” and “View From the Top,” received lukewarm receptions. A final Mike Myers trivia note: The “Saturday Night Live” alum owns the last letter ever penned by George Harrison. The late Beatle wrote Myers a fan letter about his Austin Powers comedies.

Q: What is the best thing about being the voice of Shrek?

A: You know, I do a lot of characters and the best thing about Shrek is that I don’t have to sit in the makeup chair for 11 hours, but I still get to look entirely different from myself.

A lot of the stuff that I’ve done has a lot of prosthetics. I use them to change the outside, because I just love the idea of immersing yourself in a different character. What’s great about animation is I get to be 12 feet tall and I don’t have to wear a suit.

Q: How do you feel about the rise to prominence of a new star in “Shrek 2,” Puss-In-Boots?

A: Puss-In-Boots is played by Antonio Banderas, who is hilarious in this. There are now two pets that I want to have in my life. I have three great dogs, but I want to have two more pets. One is Donkey, and one is Puss-InBoots. I love them so much I can’t stand it.

Q: Do you like the healthy rivalry between Puss-In-Boots and Donkey?

A: I think that there should always be a healthy rivalry between insolent animal sidekicks. I encourage that in a movie. I think there’s plenty of room for both of them — they’re both hilarious and sweet. And it gives Donkey interesting competition. One of my favorite scenes in the movie is when we first meet Puss-In-Boots and he and Donkey are sort of bickering at each other. It’s hilarious.

Q: What is your favorite thing about doing an animated film compared to a live-action one?

A: You get plenty of chances to improve it.

One of the things that causes anxiety when I’m working on a live-action film is when I’m doing a scene and I have the sickening realization that it’s very likely I will never be able to do this scene again. Whatever happens today is it for the rest of my life. You have a lot of second chances in animation.

And what I love about working with these people is that they take every opportunity they can to make it better and better. Their

REGAL AUGUSTA EXCHANGE 20

OUT OF THIS WORLD SUMMER CAMPS!

MUSIC Sounds of Summer

Summer Camps at Fort Discovery are not only educational, they are out-of-this-world FUN! There’s something for everyone!

By Andy Stokes

Before and after camp care available!

Space is limited so register early.

T

For More Info or an Application Contact Lisa Golden at 706-821-0646 One Seventh Street on Riverwalk

NationalScienceCenter.org

(5th-6th grades)

It's a Fascinating World (3rd-4th grades)

June 21st Space & Rocketry (4th-6th grades) Discovery Island (4th-5th grades) Kidz Adventures (2nd-3rd grades) July 12th Robo-Tech (6th-7th grades) Draw On Nature (4th-5th grades) How Come? (2nd-3rd grades) July 26th Mission To Mars (2nd-3rd grades) Aliens (4th-6th grades) Star Search (5th-6th grades)

WYCLIFFE GORDON If they keep things the same, it should be two sets of hour-long Brian Eno-like soundtracks, created all on the spot, with some visual accompaniment on the brick wall behind them.

John Kolbeck’s 32nd birthday bash will take place at Joe’s Underground on Saturday night. No word other than that, but there will likely be a collection of musicians who all, at one time or another, get onstage and play.

At the Hangnail on Saturday night, postpunk math rockers Tabula Rasa, Clearmotive and According to Plan take the stage. Tabula Rasa are touring in support of their A-F records debut, “The Role of Smith,” which was released late last year.

Also Saturday, DJ Carlitos will be on the decks at the Modjeska, and the Stillwater Tap Room’s 1st Anniversary concludes with the talented and ever-jubilant Hot Buttered Rum String Band, who are described as “high altitude California bluegrass.”

Sunday is a great day for jazz lovers — that is, for those of you who actually get out of bed on Sundays.

Wycliffe Gordon, Master of Trombone, will perform as part of the Candlelight Jazz Series at the 8th St. Bulkhead downtown at 8 p.m. (Date and lawn chairs are optional; bug spray is mandatory.)

At the Candlelight Jazz Concert’s conclusion, head over to Café du Teau on Central Ave. and check out the New Bohemian Quartet. If this isn’t enough jazz for you, go home and listen to your Mingus albums until the Wednesday Prayer Meeting at the Soul Bar. Tuesday, Nitro Records artist A Wilhelm Scream, along with Near Miss, Another Broken Vehicle and The Scuds will be playing the Hangnail. This is it: One of the hardest and newest young groups on the hardcore scene is going to play an inexpensive show in your hometown. See them Tuesday so that years from now you can tell everyone you saw them when it mattered.

That’s it for this week. Check back next week for more summer fun.

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METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 3, 2004 29

he passing of Memorial Day means that summer is officially here, so live music will soon be abundant. The dilemma is no longer that there aren’t any concerts to see, but instead how one chooses from among them all. This summer looks as promising as any has in the past, and with 2003 capping a five-year run of rising profits for musicians, you can bet that all of your favorite acts will be out on the road, given that they are assured a good turnout.

And, while a lot of that record-breaking revenue was a result of seriously insane ticket prices and uncomfortably non-intimate arena shows, the club setting is still alive and well to the delight of hard-working, devoted nightclub owners, show promoters and fans who wish to get a little closer to the action.

So, instead of not being able to give mention to each show in the area, the Metro Spirit will begin to offer this weekly guide on what’s playing not only in town, but at any location within a day’s drive from Augusta.

Hopefully, this will make it easier to plan out a solid weekend of concertgoing and keep you from missing a show you otherwise may have wanted to see.

Thursday night at the Soul Bar, Distal is playing with support from Pedestrian. This will be Distal’s first show in a few months, and only their second since forming. But make no mistake: All four members have cut their teeth through years on the scene with various groups, and they’re all on point.

Also Thursday, Patrick Davis is playing as the second installment of Joe Stevenson’s Summer Series at the Metro Coffeehouse.

Davis will fit perfectly into the low-key bill, which first featured Counting Crows drummer Ben Mize in early May. Stevenson has made missing this series inexcusable, as it’s early (8 p.m.) and inexpensive ($2), not to mention filled with enjoyable regional talent.

No excuses! Also playing Thursday night are The Pat Blanchard Group with their regular gig at the Blind Pig. Impulse Ride reunites after what seemed like an eternity of a hiatus to play at Joe’s Underground on Friday night. No doubt that, given their experience, Ruskin and Co. haven’t lost a step in playing live. Also on Friday night, Palm Bay, Fla., rockers Lita Gray make their first Augusta appearance at the Hangnail. Playing in their support that night are Orlando, Fla.-based, high-energy rockers Finned Pilot, Mourning Star, Brown Frown and Polemic. Doors open at 8 p.m., and this looks to be a long one, so bring a sack lunch.

More Friday night options: The Sixth Hour and Halfway Gone are rocking the Playground, the Stillwater Taproom’s first anniversary party kicks off with the Jeff and Vida Band, and DJ Kenny Ray is spinning at the Modjeska.

Moniker will be getting deeper into groove explorations late into the night at Bee’s Knees on Saturday. Though Kyle, Eric and Andy have cut back lately on the frequency of which they play, it’s still an impressive outing whenever they do.

June 7th Discover Whodunit (4th-5th grades) Exploring Polar Connections

music

music by turner

Scaling Down and Saying Goodbye Dept.

TREY ANASTASIO has announced on the PHISH Web site that the band will break up after their upcoming U.S. tour. “We don’t want to become caricatures of ourselves or turn into a nostalgia act,” said Anastasio, who will pursue solo projects.

The band’s next (and, presumably, last) disc, “Undermind,” is out June 15 and the final show for the group is set for Coventry, Vt., Aug. 15. Phish Pfans: don’t worry — give the guys a few years to miss their fellow bandmates and they’ll be back quicker than you can say “DOOBIE BROTHERS reunion.”

Over 2,800 fans jammed Lake Olmstead Stadium last Thursday evening for “TONY POWERS Night.” Honoring the legendary local radio and media wiz were seven of Tony’s former on-air colleagues from the now-defunct WAUG-

B Y

E D

FM, the first FM station in the CSRA to play album cuts instead of just singles.

STEVE YORK, CHUCK WHITTAKER, “HUMBLE” HAL HERRINGTON, RICK SPIRES, DANNY “BOOMER” CLARK, ROBERT MARKS and yours truly had not been together in 26 years! Even 96-RXR alums CHUCK WILLIAMS and the still gorgeous ANITA MANN came to pay tribute to one of the finest people that I ever have had the pleasure of knowing.

MAYOR BOB YOUNG sent a plaque proclaiming “Tony Powers Day” and CHRIS SCHEUER of the GREENJACKETS generously presented Tony with a special jersey and named Powers “honorary team captain” for the game. Powers’ managerial magic must have worked, as the Augusta team came back to win the game 4-3 over the ROME BRAVES, snapping the Braves’ 11-game winning streak. Remember to visit Tony’s Web site at tonypowers.com for an overview of his career and to sign his guestbook.

Turner’s Quick Notes BONNIE RAITT and ROBERT CRAY are set for a June 8 show at Atlanta’s Chastain Park. PATRICK DAVIS performs at the Metro Coffee House June 3 as part of the Joe Stevenson Summer Series.

METALLICA, currently on tour in Europe, has a Nov. 13 date scheduled for Duluth’s Gwinnett Center. DAVE KOZ, JEFFREY OSBORNE, WAYMAN TISDALE and JONATHAN BUTLER will play at the Atlanta Civic Center June 9. Bluesman DUKE ROBILLARD has his T-BONE WALKER tribute disc, “Blue Mood,” out this week.

Turner’s Rock ‘n’ Roll Jeopardy A. This 1985 song mentions “What I’d Say” and “Be-Bop-a-Lula” in the first verse.

Q. What is “Walk of Life” by Dire Straits?

T

he “Eruption” you’ve heard is true. VAN HALEN hits the road next week for their first tour in six years. SAMMY HAGAR is once again fronting the band that he exited back in the mid ‘90s and the CABO WABO wildman promises lots of set list surprises. The tour opens June 11 in Greensboro, N.C., which is the closest venue to date for local fans. A DVD and album will be recorded, but in the meantime fans will have to wait until July for another VH1’s “Best Of,” which will contain several newly recorded tracks with Hagar.

A vintage performance from STEVE MORSE AND THE DIXIE DREGS is new and in the stores this week on DVD. Silverline, a company that specializes in surroundsound mixes of rock, classical and jazz, also has in-concert releases of KANSAS, BILLY SQUIER, BIG COUNTRY, JOHN ENTWISTLE, EMERSON, LAKE AND PALMER and URIAH HEEP out this week as well.

T U R N E R

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METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 3, 2004

FINALEVERYTHING CLOSING SALE 50% OFF! ART SUPPLIES 50% OFF PHOTO FRAMES 50% OFF READY MADE FRAMES 50% OFF UNFRAMED PRINTS 50% OFF FRAMED PRINTS 50% OFF

bailie’s Art Center West

A Wilhelm Scream: Still On The Rise

By Andy Stokes

S

ometimes, the tiniest change can make the biggest difference. Take a two-inch sparkplug out of a two-ton automobile and you render it useless. Replace that sparkplug with a new one, however, and the car runs better than ever. Similarly, all it took was a simple personnel change for A Wilhelm Scream for the band to start firing on all cylinders.

Named for an infamous stock movie sound effect (a scream, obviously) that was originally recorded in the ’50s and eventually used in the “Star Wars” and “Lord of the Rings” trilogies, A Wilhelm Scream hails from the small town of New Bedford, Mass. Trevor Reilly, A Wilhelm Scream’s guitarist and songwriter, had a unique entrance into the scene, given that most people see a concert first and are then inspired to form a band.

“The first show that I ever went to, I played at,” says Reilly. I was maybe 14 years old, playing drums. Shawn (another guy in the band) and I both bought instruments on the same day … the weekend after Kurt Cobain died.”

This initial experience ignited a spark in Reilly and playing live then became a necessity. A few years later into his teens, he formed Smackin’ Isaiah, which would be the predecessor to A Wilhelm Scream. In fact, only one change was made in the group’s transition from Smackin’ Isaiah to A Wilhelm Scream.

“Our previous guitar player (John Carvalho) ditched out on us the day before we left for a month-long tour,” says Reilly. “We had to cancel that tour.”

Of the split, Reilly says he’s still unsure why Carvalho left. He is aware, however, of how a blessing can sometimes come in an unmarked package. Shortly after Carvalho left, the remaining members filled his vacancy with Chris Levesque, a move that immediately paid off.

“It wasn’t until after (Carvalho) left that things started picking up for us,” says Reilly.

“It ended up being the best thing that ever happened to us, because when we got Chris he had a lot of energy and had been waiting basically all of his young adult life to join a band that would stay together, and that he would be totally into. It worked out so perfectly that I couldn’t have written it better.”

A renewed vitality in the band (which was shortly christened A Wilhelm Scream after Levesque joined) led to the group picking

back up on its commitment to keep busy with lots of live shows. While on the West Coast playing Warped Tour dates last year, the connection was made with a Nitro Records rep. This California-based punk/hardcore label took an immediate interest in A Wilhelm Scream’s melodic sense, a trait that resulted from the band’s collective preference for the more rounded-out sound of West Coast hardcore acts rather than the New England straight-edge sound.

As the band was recording their second album, their label, Jumpstart Records, would go into debt putting the band in Blasting Room Studios, which is co-owned by Bill Stevenson (drummer for Black Flag, The Descendants and All). “It was kind of scary at first, but his personality was so easygoing and friendly,” says Reilly of working with such a legend.

“Plus we really had no time to be star-struck, because we only had 11 days in the studio — that’s all we could afford.”

With Jumpstart unable to finance the distribution of what would be “Mute Print,” the band took the finished product of an 11-day, 15-hours-per-day recording session to Nitro.

“Mute Print,” which was eventually released in mid-April, is a record that A Wilhelm Scream can be proud of, kind of a meeting point between Hot Water Music and early Bad Religion. With that record in tow, a fully cohesive lineup and the strength of a label like Nitro backing them, the group plan to tour, and then tour some more.

“We’re expecting 2004 to be a big year for us,” says Reilly. “We’re not going home, we’re going to stay out on the road and keep pushing this record as far as we can. I want as many people as possible to hear it.”

Evans Towne Center - 855-7125 (Across from FAT MAN’S WEST)

www.bailiesartcenter.com

Who: A Wilhelm Scream (with Near Miss, Another Broken Vehicle & The Scuds) When: Tuesday, June 8th Where: The Hangnail Gallery Info: www.awilhelmscream.com

s g tin

h g i S

Frank Griffen, Ca rol Ling, Christia n Frazier & Sarah Jane Cook at TGI Fridays, May 16, 2004

Bonnie Broome. Mike Collins, Holly Casey & Gary Ronzheimer at TGI Fridays, May 16, 2004

Robby Scoff & Adri enne S healy at TGI Fridays, May 16, 2004

Fridays, Gray at TGI ra eb D & le hy, Amy Doy Brandon Murp May 16, 2004

e Bobby Wright, Le Cook in’ for May

ey at Prather & Chip Iv Kids, Daniel Field, 22, 2004

Front row: Stephen Covington, Burke Agee, Crey Surles. Back row: Connor Callaghan, Cami Surles & Harrison Callaghan at Cookin’ for Kids, May 22, 2004

Courtesy of The James W. Be nnett Gala

ristiansen, Don S ilky, Amy Ch jeska, k Morris at Mod ac Z & en un nt Ju kevin May 22, 2004

Darren & Kim Strozier & Daniel Goolsby at A World Of Dance, Imperial Theater, May 23, 2004

31

Photos by Michael E. Johnson

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 3, 2004

Lee Ash, Janet Hudson, Mario Pearson Shaver at The Jamn White Linder & Rena es W. Augusta Country Club, May 14,Bennett Gala, 2004

music

music minis

The Backlash Against Skin Continues Though China’s Culture Ministry has approved Britney Spears’ appearance in their country, Chinese officials have stated that they wish to be able to have control over her wardrobe if she plays any shows in China. No word from Spears’ management yet on whether or not they agree to this.

Curious About Curiosa?

The Cure’s Curiosa tour itinerary has been set, and now includes Interpol, The Rapture, Muse, Cursive and others. Of course, The Cure will be headlining this tour in support of an eponymous album due out at the end of June. Still no word on the Robert Smith solo album, though.

Score One for the Good Guys After dodging a $10 million lawsuit against him by Barbra Streisand for posting photographs of the secluded portion of her Malibu estate on the Internet, amateur photographer and retired software entrepreneur Kenneth Adelman has successfully countersued the singer for $177,000. As it turns out, Adelman was taking pictures of the California coastline in an effort to study coastline conservation.

Still Not Van Halen to Us Van Halen, a term thrown around far too loosely these days, has planned a summer tour, the first in eight years, for the coming months. Still without David Lee Roth, the group has reenlisted the vocals of Sammy “at least it’s not Cherone” Hagar.

COMPILED BY ANDY STOKES

32

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 3, 2004

Information compiled from online and other music news sources.

Have Augusta’s restaurants started looking the same? .

.

437 Highland Ave, Surrey Center 706.737.6699 Fax 706.733.8644 Mon-Sat Lunch & Dinner

CD Reviews

By Andy Stokes

Maata Haari – Tentatively Untitled Upcoming Release (Independent) Now this could be a movement worth keeping an eye on. It probably started, or at least became noticed, when a band called Soul Coughing was known to perfectly duplicate the sounds that originally came from DJ’s turntables and rhythm processors.

On the grand scale, it’s perfect irony: Organic imitating synthetic, which was originally created to imitate the organic.

Lots of groups do it innumerable ways, but what made Soul Coughing’s self-described “deep slacker jazz” stand apart is the extent to which the group immersed themselves in the idea of becoming a humanoid group.

Yuval Gabay, Soul Coughing’s supremely talented drummer, laid down some seemingly computer-created beats, but M. Doughty’s stream of consciousness lyrics and Mark Di Gli Antoni’s otherworldly keyboard accents made the final push to put the band and a small, devoted following on a remote island.

Soul Coughing is long gone now (they split in 2000), and although no band has tried to do it better since them, a few have visited Soul Coughing’s remains merely as tourists and are incorporating some of the more accessible elements of their sound.

With Kenna and a few others, Maatahaari is leading a charge to revive those radiofriendlier aspects of the forgotten group.

Instead of Gabay’s metronome-like rhythm, however, Maatahaari opt for a simpler (and no doubt easier to play) groove that syncs up a little better with a deep bass line.

Kenna didn’t really make the impact that he or his label had hoped to make last year with “New Sacred Cow,” and it’s doubtful that Maatahaari is even trying to achieve that commercial success. This is unfortunate, because some tracks on their debut seem to beg for radio airplay. There’s “Window Pain,” with a slinky guitar line and hiccupping rhythm that could easily have been a radio hit for N.E.R.D., or “Someplace Else,” which sounds like a pop take on one of Tricky’s songs. Everything about this group is shrouded in mystery, so it’ll be interesting to see how, when and if they’re marketed.

Patrick Davis – Chances Are (Independent) When an artist lists Bruce Springsteen as one of his major inspirations, he’s crossing a minefield. The end product of The Boss’ constant influence can be a very good or very bad thing; most get it wrong, some nail it about half the time, but a very talented few ever really come close. The worst-case scenario is that the artist will come across as mediocre, and the best is that the artist will effectively channel Springsteen’s “Nebraska” or “The River.” Mixed feelings of Springsteen aside (the mention of his name can incite passionate arguments between those who adamantly praise his contribution and those who easily write it off), you’ve got to give the man his credit: He’s done as much as anyone has done for rock and alternative country over the last 30 years.

South Carolinian Patrick Davis hits the mark on his first album, “Chances Are.” Mixing Lyle Lovett-style traditional country revival and working class rock ‘n’ roll, Davis puts himself forth as a songwriter in possession of a strong work ethic first and a rock star second. Davis’ debut paints him as a masterful melody crafter aged well beyond his 27 years.

Restraint seems to be Davis’ strongest attribute; he never plays two or three notes when only one will do.

Though he sticks safely to the pop song structure throughout most of “Chances Are,” Davis makes the occasional nod to country on several tracks, including “Maybe Tonite” and the Gram Parsons cover, “Ooh Las Vegas.” The addition of these tunes flavors the album, and opens the door to the future possibility of an entire country record, which Davis should absolutely consider. Camarie Brantley, who sings backup vocals on nearly all tracks, is vaguely reminiscent of Caitlin Cary (of Whiskeytown), who backed Ryan Adams during that group’s existence.

“Chances Are” is a solid release, and though Springsteen is a constant standout in Davis’ music, there’s enough here for Davis to start standing out on his own.

AFTER DARK

HOT BUTTERED RUM STRING BAND TO PLAY AT STILLWATER TAP ROOM ON SATURDAY, JUNE 5.

Thursday, 3rd

Bee’s Knees – Heliocentric Cinema Blind Pig – Pat Blanchard Group Cafe Du Teau – James McIntyre Club Argos – Karaoke Contest Continuum – Playa*listic Thursday Coyote’s – Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads – 212 D. Timm’s – The Section Finish Line Cafe – DJ Fox’s Lair – Karaoke/Open Mic Greene Streets – Karaoke Joe’s Underground – Paul Arrowood Metro Coffeehouse – Joe Stevenson’s Summer Series: Patrick Davis Partridge Inn – Comedy 1st Thursdays with Jerry Farber and Friends Playground – Open Mic Pourhouse – Karaoke with Pourhouse Friends Robbie’s Sports Bar – DJ Rusty The Shack – DJ Chip Silver Bullet Lounge – Big Dogs Soul Bar – Distal, Pedestrian Stillwater Tap Room – The Wiyos Wheeler Tavern – DJ Flashback Buddy

Friday, 4th

Back Roads – DJ Bee’s Knees – First Friday Music on 10th St. Blind Pig – Shameless Dave and the Miracle Whips Cafe Du Teau – James McIntyre Club Argos – Goth Night with Claire Storm, DJ BJ Cotton Patch – Tony Williams Band Coyote’s – Rhes Reeves Band D. Timm’s – The Section El Rodeo – DJ Sontiago Finish Line Cafe – DJ Fox’s Lair – Dickie Day Greene Streets – Karaoke Hangnail Gallery – Lita Gray, Finned Pilot, Dolemic, Brown Frown, Mourning Star Joe’s Underground – Impulse Ride Last Call – Ultimate Dance Party Modjeska – DJ Kenny Ray Ms. Carolyn’s – The Horizon Partridge Inn – Mellow D Playground – The Sixth Hour, Halfway Gone Pourhouse – Tony Howard Band R. Gabriel’s – Dottie Lee Robbie’s Sports Bar – DJ Rusty The Shack – DJ Chip Silver Bullet Lounge – Big Dogs

Soul Bar – DJ Zapatista Stillwater Tap Room – Jeff and Vida Band Wheeler Tavern – DJ Flashback Buddy

Saturday, 5th

Bee’s Knees – Moniker Blind Pig – Shameless Dave and the Miracle Whips Cafe Du Teau – James McIntyre Charlie O’s – Live Band Coconuts – DJ Tim Cotton Patch – Ruskin Coyote’s – Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads – Knowface, LZO D. Timm’s – The Section Finish Line Cafe – DJ, Karaoke Fox’s Lair – Dickie Day Greene Streets – Karaoke Hangnail Gallery – Tabula Rasa, Clearmotive, According to Plan Joe’s Underground – John Kolbeck’s 32nd Birthday Bash Metro Coffeehouse – Afternoon Bluegrass Modjeska – DJ Carlitos Pourhouse – Recaps featuring Sassy Brass R. Gabriel’s – Winn Crenshaw Robbie’s Sports Bar – DJ Rusty

The Shack – DJ Chip Silver Bullet Lounge – Big Dogs Soul Bar – Soul*Bar*Sound*Lab Stillwater Tap Room – Hot Buttered Rum String Band Wheeler Tavern – DJ Flashback Buddy

Sunday, 6th

Adams Lounge – DJ Cafe Du Teau – Last Bohemian Quartet Cotton Patch – John Kolbeck Robbie’s Sports Bar – DJ Rusty The Shack – Drag Show with various performers, Michael Brandon Shannon’s – Jason Sabo T.G.I. Friday’s – John Kolbeck

Monday, 7th Club Argos – Karaoke Continuum – Monday Madness Fox’s Lair – Open Mic Greene Streets – Karaoke Joe’s Underground – Brian Sharp

Tuesday, 8th

Adams Lounge – Keith “Fossill” Gregory

continued on page 34

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33

continued from page 33 Train, Graham Colton Band – Barton Field – June 18 Revelation – Soul Bar – June 19 Cowboy Mouth – Imperial Theatre – June 20 Caitlin Cary – Playground – July 10 Hellblinki Sextet, The Goodies, Distal – Imperial Theatre – July 16 Hope For Agoldensummer – Soul Bar – July 22 Joe Stevenson’s Summer Series: Doug Jones (Cravin’ Melon) – Metro Coffeehouse – July 22 Macha – Soul Bar – July 31 Joe Stevenson’s Summer Series: Steven Jackson – Metro Coffeehouse – August 5

Elsewhere TABULA RASA WILL PERFORM AT HANGNAIL GALLERY ON SATURDAY, JUNE 5 Bee’s Knees – 12 Tone Lounge D. Timm’s – The Section Fox’s Lair – Open Mic Greene Streets – Karaoke Joe’s Underground – Keith “Fossill” Gregory Metro Coffeehouse – Irish Night with Sibin

Robbie’s Sports Bar – DJ Rusty The Shack – DJ Chip Silver Bullet Lounge – Karaoke Somewhere in Augusta – Jason Swain Soul Bar – Live Jazz TGI Fridays – John, Jamie and Pat

Wednesday, 9th

Upcoming

Bee’s Knees – Heliocentric Cinema Blind Pig – What You Want?

Club Argos – DJ BJ Dance Party Coconuts – Karaoke Coliseum – Wacky Wednesdays Continuum – Open Mic Nite Coyote’s – The Rhes Reeves Band D. Timm’s – The Section Greene Streets – Karaoke Joe’s Underground – Local Ghost Playground – Crazy Karaoke

DieAgnostic Reunion Show – Last Call – June 10 Steel String Theory – Stillwater Tap Room – June 11 Big Sky – Crossroads – June 11 John Lee Hooker, Jr. – Andy’s – June 16 Josh Pierce Group, Local Ghost – Soul Bar – June 17 Perfect Back Seat Driver – Soul Bar – June 17 Rev. Jeff Mosier and the Ear-reverents – Stillwater Tap Room – June 18 Raisinhill – Aiken Brewing Company – June 18

“Aquafina on the Bricks” Series: George Clinton and Parliament/Funkadelic – Centennial Olympic Park, Atlanta, GA – June 4 Anthony Hamilton, Gerald Levert, Maze – Chastain Park Amphitheatre – June 4 Harry Connick, Jr. – Township Auditorium, Columbia, SC – June 4 Leon Russell – Headliners at Banana Joe’s, Columbia, SC – June 4 Preservation Hall Jazz Band – Mable House Amphitheatre, Mableton, GA – June 4 “Lord of the Rings” Symphony Tour with Sissel – Atlanta Symphony Hall, Atlanta, GA – June 4-6 Bonnie Raitt, Robert Cray Band – Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta, GA – June 8 “Great High Mountain” Tour featuring Alison Krauss and Union Station, Ralph Stanley – Fox Theatre, Atlanta, GA – June 8 Harry Connick, Jr. – Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta, GA – June 9, 10 Bonnie Prince Billy – Echo Lounge, Atlanta, GA – June 10 J.J. Cale – Georgia Theatre, Athens, GA – June 10

“Aquafina On The Bricks” Series: Chingy – Centennial Olympic Park, Atlanta, GA – June 11 David Byrne – Georgia Theatre, Athens, GA – June 11 Bonnaroo Music Festival – Bonnaroo Festival Site, Manchester, TN – June 11-13 David Byrne – Earthlink Live, Atlanta, GA – June 12 Rasputina – New Brookland Tavern, Columbia, SC – June 12 Bonnie Prince Billy – Orange Twin Conservation Community, Athens, GA – June 12 The Shins – Variety Playhouse, Atlanta, GA – June 13 “Unplugged in the Park” Series: Jem – Park Tavern, Piedmont Park, Atlanta, GA – June 13 John Vanderslice, Pedro the Lion – New Brookland Tavern, Columbia, SC – June 15 Little River Band – Monkey Business, Hilton Head Island, SC – June 15 Train – Centre Stage at the Plex, Charleston, SC – June 15

Many tickets are available through TicketMaster outlets by calling 828-7700, or online at www.ticketmaster.com.

Tickets may also be available through Tix Online by calling 278-4TIX, online at www.tixonline.com or at their outlet location in Southgate Plaza. After Dark listings are subject to change without notice.

Deadline for inclusion in After Dark calendar is Tuesday at 4 p.m. Contact Rhonda Jones or Andy Stokes by calling 738-1142, faxing 736-0443 or e-mailing to rhonda.jones@metrospirit.com or andy.stokes@metrospirit.com.

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Brezsny’s Free Will

Astr ology ARIES (March 21-April 19)

There is a Native American nation that white people call the Winnebago. The tribe’s members refer to themselves, however, as the Hotcâgara.

That’s your first metaphorical clue for the week, Aries. You should firmly correct anyone who misnames or misidentifies you. Here’s another tip, courtesy of the Hotcâgara. In their origin myth, the great god Earthmaker wakes up to realize he is the only being in the universe. In his abysmal loneliness, he weeps. His tears become the oceans and rivers and lakes of our world. I suspect that the tears you cry in the coming week will also, like Earthmaker’s, be profoundly creative.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

In his book The GulagArchipelago, Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn documents the Soviet Union’s oppression of many ethnic groups between 1918 and 1956. “Only one nation would not give in, nor acquire the mental habits of submission,” he noted.

“These were the Chechens. They never sought to please, to ingratiate themselves with the bosses …

No one could stop them from living as they did.” I don’t mean to imply that the manipulative pressures coming to bear on you, Taurus, are anywhere near as severe as what the Chechens experienced. In fact, your version might be rather covert or subtle.

But I urge you, nevertheless, to stand up in defense of your independent spirit with a Chechen-like clarity and ferocity.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

At this point in your journey, Gemini, your free will is a more important factor in determining your fate than the constraints of karma or the whims of the gods. I won’t waste your time, then, predicting what may or may not lie ahead. Instead, I’ll invite you to formulate self-fulfilling prophecies about the beautiful future you want to create. To help tease out your brainstorms, I offer you a few of the laws of life articulated by Hawaiian shaman Serge Kahili

ACROSS

1 Oil company

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

“Dear Dr. Brezsny: Last night I dreamt I was returning home from a horrid date with a man who didn’t even know my name. As I came into the living room, the heating duct flew off, and hundreds of rabbits started pouring in. At first I didn’t mind, but then they started to attack me. Long story short, I was eaten alive by cute cuddly bunny wabbits.

Comments? — Apparently Delicious Moon Child.”

Dear Moon Child: I think you’re dreaming for the entire Cancerian tribe. Here are some possible dream interpretations. 1. You’ve been too nice for your own good lately. 2. Your extreme, almost manic, fertility is leading you to do things that aren’t healthy for you. 3. You should minimize contact with anyone who doesn’t see you for who you really are, and you shouldn’t indulge people who take advantage of your nurturing sweetness.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

“Leafing through Forbes or Fortune is like reading the operating manual of a strangely sanctimonious pirate ship,” wrote Adam Gopnik in the NewYorker.

My perspective is a little different. I think of Forbes and Fortune as the Bibles of the world’s preeminent religion, the Holy Orthodox Church of Business As Usual. It’s a cult we all have to come to terms with and pay tribute to. What’s your relationship with it, Leo? Have you made your peace, or are you in a state of tormented denial? If it’s the former, the next three months will be a favorable time to increase your income. If it’s the latter, you should consider going on a financial vision quest.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

(Note: In the spirit of the epic yet mysterious

39 Greenfly, e.g.

41 Ammo belt

67 China’s Sun

accompanier 42 Chemical supervisors substance that hastens aging 8 Opening word?

45 Boom support 14 One receiving orders 47 Mary ___ Evans 15 Dug in (George Eliot’s real name) 17 First line of a couplet pertinent 48 Sound to this puzzle investments, for short 19 Prefix with sex 49 Old Dodge 20 War story 21 Word with buff 51 Buckeyes or buffa 55 It’s a wrap 22 Guiding light 58 Start of a 24 “I ___ you!” children’s rhyme 26 Many a drive60 Baby’s first word thru feature 61 End of the 27 Failing grades couplet 28 Great Laker 64 “Really?”

32 It’s good for the 65 Costa ___, Calif. teeth 66 One of Paul 36 Stout Revere’s 37 Raft material message 38 Poison warning options 5 Univ. dorm

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE H O T T E A

M A R O O N

T O O L R L O G O E M

A D R I E N N E

S A L K M I F F

S K I N N E D I C E B E E R

B A T S E C H O N G T E L E E S P I T E B I D S I R A S O N E N R O N E O N O Z E D C O E R L A K S B I A S S A N G L Y H E A R O N A M O G E L E E

I N T A K S T O N E P H O N E Y L O P L A Y I P E T I T E V E N U N E G P N E S E M A W D O N E S O O N E T S C L U I H E N R Y E S

E D S T E E S S E R B

Yat-___ 68 Starts (off)

DOWN 1 Misbehave 2 Zoo heavyweight 3 Rhodes of Rhodesia 4 “___ in the Stilly Night” (Thomas Moore lyric) 5 Go over again 6 Nay sayers 7 Portico 8 Tre + tre 9 TV journalist David 10 Scenic views, briefly 11 Woeful words 12 Former Israeli P.M. 13 13th-century literary work 16 Comedian born John Elroy Sanford 18 Curved pipe feature 23 Motorists’ clubs, in brief 25 Faulkner’s “___ Lay Dying” 27 1-Across competitor 29 Otto who helped discover nuclear fission 30 Settled 31 Logical conclusion 32 Where Samson died

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Using probability theory, mathematician J.E. Littlewood calculated that most people typically experience a miracle at a rate of about one per month. In my experience, that estimate is high. I think the average is closer to one miracle every seven weeks. But you Libras can disregard this speculation completely. The astrological omens suggest that the next four weeks will bring you at least four and as many as nine amazing synchronicities, supernatural interventions and wondrous mysteries.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

There’s a chance that friends or family members will soon behave in a way that drives you crazy. It’s also likely, however, that they will connect you to new resources and help you transcend your limitations. A third possibility is that they will do both: Hurt you and heal you. However it all shakes out, Scorpio, you can be sure that your closest relationships are about to teach you lessons you didn’t even realize you needed to know.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Laughter Yoga (www.laughteryoga.org) is a new international phenomenon that began in India.

Practitioners gather together regularly to engage in half-hour sessions of nonstop chuckling, chortling and cackling. Yogic breathing exercises supplement the therapeutic value. The month of June will be an ideal time for you Sagittarians to launch local branches of these laughter clubs. The astrological omens say you’ll be running into an extraordinary number of funny things. That’s lucky for you, because you have a lot of accumulated tension to purge, and the best way to do that is by having hilarious experiences.

y 1

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Expanded Weekly Horoscope

1-900-950-7700

www.augustadui.com

E.H. Young Attorney

68

Puzzle by Daniel C. Bryant

collegiately 34 Clinton and Blair, for two 35 Boys 37 Cadge 40 El ___, Tex. 43 Amounted (to) 44 Motto of the Prince of Wales

You can call Rob Brezsny, day or night, for your

65

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33 The Bushes,

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

In the Greek myth, Persephone was abducted by Pluto, god of the underworld. He took her to his domain with the intention of making her his queen.

Persephone’s mother Demeter pleaded with Zeus to intervene, and he agreed to do so, declaring that as long as Persephone had not eaten any food while in the underworld, she had to be returned to her mother. But by then it was too late: Persephone had already nibbled four pomegranate seeds.

Eventually, a compromise was reached: Zeus decreed that Persephone must dwell in Pluto’s realm for four months of every year, but could live in the sunlight the rest of the time. The moral of the story, as far as you’re concerned, Pisces: Don’t eat even one bite of that underworld food.

1-800-NOTGUILTY

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AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

The Weekly World News sponsored Wear Your Thong to Work Day last March 26. I didn’t tell you about it back then because you just weren’t ready for it. This week, though, I can justify advising you to stage your very own Wear Your Thong to Work Day. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you’ll have a lot more slack than usual whenever you express the raw, uninhibited, risktaking sides of your nature. If doing the thong thing isn’t the way you’d prefer to cash in on this opportunity, choose something that’s a more unique reflection of your daring side. How about an Indulge Your Fantasies Day, or a Be Your Future Self Day?

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CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Your guardian angel is in a feisty mood. I wouldn’t be surprised if that not-so-imaginary friend played a trick on you in an attempt to get you to lighten up.

Nor would I be shocked if that wise old fool woke you up in the middle of the night to teach you a new freedom song. A kick in the butt isn’t out of the question; nor is a tickling sensation in your id or an oddly pleasurable itch in your funny bone. No matter what form they take, Capricorn, I urge you to regard these visits from your secret helper as gifts of inspiration.

46 “See?!”

50 Quark plus 51 52 53 54 55 56

57 Russian city on

the Oka

antiquark 59 Heater stats Earth tone Match 62 Birth control method, for It may be white short Tonics, to some Tar 63 You can set Naturalist Roger your watch by ___ Peterson it: Abbr.

For answers, call 1-900-285-5656, $1.20 a minute; or, with a credit card, 1-800-814-5554.

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METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 3, 2004

New York Times Crossword Puzzle

acronym

King: 1. The world is what you think it is. 2. There are no limits; everything is possible. 3. Energy flows where attention goes. 4. Now is the moment of power. 5. To love is to be happy. 6. All power comes from within.

turning point you’re at, Virgo, I’m providing you with an extravagant yet cryptic oracle. Read it with the nonlinear side of your brain.) Your escape from the false “home” is imminent. Are you ready to change about 10 percent of your mind about who you really are and 20 percent of your mind about where you truly belong? Regard it as a lucky sign if the prospect of fresh freedom rouses an ancient fear. It means you’re close to finding the lost key to the kingdom of childhood, which is also the key to the secret garden of adulthood.

News of the

The Advice Goddess

Weird

N

orwegian activists Tommy Hol Ellingsen and his girlfriend, seeking new funding sources for the environmental movement, created a Web site earlier this year that charges visitors about U.S. $15 a month to view pornographic photos of the couple, with all profits to benefit environmental organizations (although some were reported ethically reluctant to accept their money).

And in January, a 33-year-old British woman, “Vix,” who has multiple sclerosis, created a Web site featuring topless photos of herself and asking visitors to donate to the UK’s MS Resource Centre. (Business is slow on both sites: As of April, Ellingsen reported only 200 visitors a month, and Vix had raised the equivalent of U.S. $6,000 from about 100 of the site’s 125,000 visitors.)

Update In 1990, “News of the Weird” reported on a World War II “cargo cult” on Tanna, one of the 83 islands comprising the republic of Vanuatu (located between Papua New Guinea and Fiji). (Such cults are known for regarding as magical the food and supplies that Americans brought to military staging areas on the islands, and they continued to pray for more “cargo” for decades after Americans left.)

In May, according to a report in the Sydney Morning Herald, violence broke out on Tanna when Christian breakaways, calling the cargo business nonsense, fought with supporters of “John Frum,” the iconic American whom the cultists worship. About 25 people were hospitalized, according to police dispatched from Vanuatu’s capital of Vila.

Super-Recidivists According to police in Atlanta in January, Nathaniel Lee Stanley, 20, just released from jail, walked out and immediately carjacked a woman in the jail’s parking lot (and was later returned to jail). And Kelly J. Handy, 37, who posted bond on burglary charges in Wheat Ridge, Colo., in March, picked up the wig and clothing that had been taken from her on her arrest, then went into a restroom, created a new look and, according to police, immediately began stealing from residential mailboxes near the jail.

36

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 3, 2004

The Litigious Society • Richard Timmons’ $80 million police brutality lawsuit went to trial in April in New York City, with Timmons acting as his own lawyer to persuade a jury that he deserved to be a rich man because he was “beat(en) continuously” during his 1997 arrest. The jury turned him down after a quick deliberation, perhaps in part because his crime (for which he was convicted) was a triple murder that included the beheading of his wife and 7year-old son.

• Not My Fault: Chef Michael McCarthy, 21, with about a year’s experience in the kitchen of the Dalmunzie Hotel in Perthshire, Scotland, filed a

Amy Alkon

lawsuit for the equivalent of U.S. $42,000 against the hotel in January because he had badly cut his finger while slicing open an avocado. He said no one had taught him that unripened avocados were harder to cut than ripened ones.

• After praising lawyer Brian Puricelli’s courtroom work in winning a case for a client against the city of Philadelphia, federal Judge Jacob Hart cut Puricelli’s loser-paid legal fees by $32,000 because his written work was sloppy, citing missing pages, missing paragraphs and a huge number of typos (such as repeatedly referring to the court as representing the “Easter District” of Pennsylvania).

Further, Puricelli’s work apparently did not improve during the trial despite numerous admonishings; in a key, threesentence paragraph in his response to Hart’s fee-cutting decision, Puricelli wrote four more typos and addressed his objection to Judge “Jacon” Hart.

Recent Alarming Headlines (1) “Trio Arrested for Breaking In and Performing Dental Work” (a December story in the Alexandria (La.) Town Talk, about two people trying to help a friend who had lost part of a filling one night and couldn’t wait until the dentist’s office opened). (2) “Jail Teaches Prisoners to Shoot” (an April story in The West Australian, revealing that the Eastern Goldfields prison allows Aboriginal inmates to shoot air rifles because, upon release, they will return to a life of hunting animals for food).

Obsessions Among the beach attractions on the Caribbean island of St. Maarten: Bracing oneself in the sand at the beach at the end of the runway at Princess Juliana International Airport and trying to remain upright as airliners take off. (Jumbo jets’ blasts have been known to topple vans.)

A March Chicago Tribune dispatch described the giddiness of several tourists (who defied posted warnings), one of whom was “tossed in the air like a human shot put.” Said another man, slowly pulling himself to his feet after a take-off, “I couldn’t resist. (My wife and I) are both doing things we’d never do (back home) in Ohio.”

Least Competent Criminals Another cardinal rule broken (the one about keeping a low profile): John Parker and Rick Owens were arrested in the parking lot of the Wal-Mart in Athens, Texas, in April, after they were allegedly spotted by several people sitting in their car carefully cutting out individual counterfeit bills from larger sheets they had just printed. And Dennett Colescott, 41, was arrested at a drugstore in Corte Madera, Calif., in April after an employee reported to police that Colescott was standing at the store’s photo printer, calmly copying child pornography.

— Chuck Shepherd © United Press Syndicate

I

have three tests for a woman before I’ll get involved with her: (1) Magazine Test: Does she read gossip rags? Women who do like to talk trash, and I want no part of that. (2) Penny Test: Does she react negatively when I buy a candy bar with a dollar’s worth of pennies? If so, she’s out. (3) No Information Test: I don’t respond if she asks what I do, what I drive or where I live.

These are gold-digger questions, revealing interest in my wallet, not in me as a person. I stand by my tests as valid, because I expect a woman to truly love me, not my money or what I can do for her. Why can’t I find a woman who can pass them?

— Down to Worth

Maybe the woman who can pass your tests has tests of her own. As sick as you are of “gold-digging” women, maybe she’s equally sick of beauty-grubbing men who flock to her because she looks like she stepped out of Sports Illustrated’s swimsuit edition to binge on a lettuce leaf. Just imagine her letter: “The Eye Candy Challenge: Before I go out, I throw on a pup tent and pack it full of Crisco until I look like a 426-pound zeppelin of lard. I complete the look with a mask to give the illusion that I have one giant wart where my head is supposed to be. Why can’t I find even one man to invite me out and withhold information about where he lives, what he drives and what he does?”

Hmmm ... maybe that one man she’s yearning for is you? Surely, several hundred lumpy pounds of fat wouldn’t stop you from taking her out and refusing to tell her about yourself. After all, you, if anyone, know it’s a woman’s inner beauty that matters — even if you have to send in a search party of gastric bypass surgeons to find it. Right? Right?

Yeah, right. Men want beautiful women.

Women want men of status and power. Deal with it. This isn’t some new phenomenon. Any man alive today is a beauty-grubber descended from a very, very long line of beauty-grubbers — stretching all the way back to the Pleistocene era. Likewise, modern women are hard-wired to be “gold-diggers” — descended from an equally long line of female ancestors who would have sold their hairy left knuckle to bear Joe Alpha’s furry little children.

The female features that men, across cultures, evolved to find beautiful — hourglass figure, youth, clear skin and facial and bodily symmetry — are a bunch of biological thumbs up signaling that a woman is a healthy, fertile candidate to bear and raise a child. Women, across cultures, evolved to want men with the ability and willingness to invest in their children. It wasn’t actually men’s wealth that women adapted to seek — probably because a T-bone in the hand one day doesn’t guarantee the ability to get another T-bone in the hand the next. The cave mamas whose genes got passed along were those who looked for a man’s potential to consistently bring home the bison or to invent the wheel. Like a 1.8 million-yearold hangover, this psychology is still tagging along on dates today — even when a woman has a killer job of her own, zero desire to have kids and a lifetime supply of birth control.

This doesn’t mean you have to settle for a woman who sees you as an ATM machine with legs. But, what’s with the paranoia that women want you, at least in part, for what you’ve achieved? Of course they do! And if you want the rest of the story, your best bet is just paying attention, over time, to what a woman says and does. Ironically, with your tests, you reveal much more about yourself — all of it negative — than you would’ve if you’d simply spilled the beans about what’s behind your garage door.

Regarding your anti-gossip rag manifesto: Don’t you have any guilty pleasures? “Enquiring minds want to know!” About your top-secret career: A woman who’s into her work is likely to be inquisitive about yours. Refuse to tell her what you do, and she’s sure to assume it’s something criminal or criminally embarrassing.

Finally, considering that women are biologically programmed to go for good providers, how wise is it to give the impression that you’ll be paying for your half of her birthday dinner with a wheelbarrow full of change?

On the bright side, if you do keep paying for small food items with very, very small change, you needn’t worry about dying old, bitter and alone — because you’re sure to die young, bitter and alone after you’re strangled by the guy in line behind you at the mini-mart.

— © 2004, Amy Alkon

Got A Problem?

Write Amy Alkon 171 Pier Ave. Box 280 Santa Monica, CA 90405 AdviceAmy@aol.com

To become a member, call 1-888-223-7044 To listen and respond to ads, call 1-900-226-8908 Calls cost $1.99 per min., Must be 18+.

,call 1-866-832-4685

To respond to ads using a MAYBE YOU’RE THE ONE? DWF, 52, 5’4”, brown/green, 170lbs, retired, secure, homeowner, loves sailing, cooking, gardening, shooting pool. Seeking considerate, pleasant SWM, who likes the same, for companionship and possible LTR. !980275

VERY DOWN-TO-EARTH... and open. DWF, 5’11”, 135lbs, enjoys going to movies, outdoors activities, travel and meeting new people. Looking for honest, sincere, trustworthy man, 29-39, for solid friendship first. !996643 SEARCHING FOR MR RIGHT SBPF, 39, Libra, loves church, traveling, movies, and dining out. Seeking SBPM, 3760, for possible LTR. !421273 LOVE GOD? LOVE CHILDREN? SCF, 42, mother, youth choir director, loves God, church, singing. Seeking SM, 35-55, for possible relationship. !226914 COMPANIONSHIP DWF, 50, interested in gardening, antiques and traveling. Churchgoer. Seeking DWM, 48-58, for loving, tender relationship. !732056 GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY SWF, 27, 5’2”, average build, Scorpio, smoker, nurse, enjoys going to the ballfield with the kids, having fun with friends. Seeking fun, energetic SWM, 30-42, for friendship, maybe more. !215492 SOMEONE TO LOVE SWF, 48, enjoys a good horror movie, a drama or a comedy. Seeking a man for romance, quiet times at home, or just dancing the night away! !832399 MORE THAN JUST AIKEN, SC Do you enjoy travel, reading, church, and children? Call this non-smoking, 43-year-old SBCF if you’re a non-smoking SBCM, 40-55. !206590 BE MY TEDDY BEAR SWF, 32, 5’3’’, 180lbs, auburn/blue, no kids, never married, enjoys movies, sports, travel, dining, bowling, cuddling, quiet evenings.

Seeking honest, romantic SBM, similar interests, for dating, possible LTR. !894568 A VERY SERIOUS WOMAN SBPF, 34, mother of 3, nurse, independent and secure, enjoys church, movies, dining. looking for commitment-minded, level-headed, spiritual, spontaneous, respectful man, who truly appreciates a good woman. Sound like you? !777612 MUST LIKE CHILDREN Single parent, 40s, likes reading, outdoor activities, most music, dining out, movies, and quiet times at home. !996641 BIG GIRLS NEED LOVE TOO SBF, 33, Sagittarius, seeking single man, 3145, for romance, real friendship, possible LTR later. Give me a call. !111717

ENDANGERED SPECIES SBF, 57, average build, independent, likes the good things life has to offer, fun to be with.

Seeking SBM, 55-68, independent, honest and caring. !927805

YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO SBF, 39, Leo, N/S, seeks BM, 38-45, downto-earth, very direct and straightforward, to have fun with. !582549 WHOLE LOTTA LOVE SBF, 33, would like to share movies, dinners, quiet evenings at home, the usual dating activities, with a great guy. !463610

ISO CHRISTIAN VALENTINE SWCF, 61, outgoing, Libra, N/S, seeks SWCM, 59-65, with whom to share Christ, friendship, and laughter. Must be family-oriented, kind, outgoing, emotionally/financially secure. Let’s give our friendship a try. !911830 CLOSER TO FINE SBF, 58, retired school teacher, N/S, enjoys traveling and tv. Seeking BM, 50-65, educated (high school at least, please), who enjoys having good clean fun. !909981

GIVE IT A SHOT! SBM, 25, 5’4’’, 180lbs, muscular build, likes bowling, shooting pool, vacationing. Seeking SF, 18-31, for friends first, LTR. !200325

TALL BROWN SUGAR SBF, 25, 5’9”, N/S, enjoys movies, concerts, quiet times, and good music. Seeking WM, 23-30, N/S, no children. !906840

HONESTY IS BEST POLICY Sincere man, 25, works as a cook, and is looking for a woman who believes in honesty and romance. !122303

WANNA DANCE? SWF, 57, seeks dance partner for Salsa and Square Dancing! Any size, shape, big or tall, short or small, matters not! It’s the footwork that counts! Beginner-intermediate level. !898986

NASCAR FAN SWM, 39, 5’11”, brown/hazel, average build, Libra, smoker, seeks an old-fashioned WF, 21-45, for LTR. !932866

WAITING FOR YOU SB mom, 24, Virgo, seeks a man for days at the park, the mall, or at the movies, and spending time with family and friends. !883496 LOVE OF LIFE Attractive, classy, vivacious SWCF, 50ish, N/S, N/D, seeks SWCM, N/S, N/D, who is honest, financially/mentally secure, and ready for commitment. !875741 ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE Honest SWF, 28, 5’10”, 210lbs, blonde/blue, enjoys classic rock, horror movies, and quiet nights at home. Seeking SW/HM, 18-40, for friendship, possible LTR. !874789

A LOT TO OFFER SHM, 30, 5’6’’, 180lbs, Sagittarius, looking for a female, 25-35, for friendship or more. Call, get to know me! !230527 FOLLOW YOUR BLISS SBM, 18, 6’2”, with a brown complexion and brown eyes, seeks a woman for dating and lots of fun. !200362 ELIGIBLE BACHELOR Businessman and entrepreneur, 44, 6’, 170lbs, N/S, N/D, serious, tall, tan, trim, talented, educated. Seeking exceptional SF, 2437, for exclusive relationship. !115278

GIVE ME A CALL SWM, 43, 5’10”, 155lbs, enjoys cooking, movies, the outdoors, romance, laughter, good conversation, good company and more.

Seeking outgoing, interesting, sincere SWF, 24-35, for friendship, maybe more. !989836 TRY THIS ONE Affectionate, loyal SBM, 43, hard-working, honest, enjoys travel, walks, good company.

Seeking down-to-earth, intelligent, hardworking, independent lady to share movie nights, candlelight dinners, romance and much more. !225213 LIKES HAVING FUN BM, 26, likes parties, going out and having fun, movies, bowling, hanging out with friends and more. If I sound interesting, call me. !124754 ACTUAL NICE GUY Handsome, outgoing, open-minded SWM, 5’11”, average build, 51, Leo, smoker, enjoys traveling, museums, resorts, sunbathing.

Seeking woman, 40-50, for LTR and/or friendship. !120143 SPICE IT UP SWM, 31, with blue-green eyes, and a goatee, loves spicy foods, and is in search of a woman for outdoor fun. !992800 SEND ME AN ANGEL SWM, 39, 5’10”, 150lbs, mustache, goatee, shaved head, into hard rock, heavy metal.

Seeking compatible, cool SF, 32-55, friends first, possibly more. !984481 KINDRED SPIRITS SBM, 54, 5’7”, average build, local truck driver, Taurus, marriage-minded, smoker, seeks BF, 42-60, a kind soul. !928892

LOVE This Southern Carolina SBM is employed, 20, goal-oriented, dark-skinned, w/wavy hair.

Looking for employed, honest SB/HF, 20-30, who might enjoy basketball, tv, reading, sleeping, listening to the radio, and more. !204179 SEEKING WOMAN WITH GOALS SM, 32, medium build, dark complexion, seeks average woman, 20-45, who enjoys movies, dining, walks in the park. !200166 ONE IN A MILLION Clean-cut, easygoing SB, 40. 5’7”, 170lbs, looking for a woman, 22-48, to spend my life with. I know how to treat a woman. I enjoy travel, movies, outdoors and more. !124879 VERY ROMANTIC PERSON BM, 35, would love to take you in my arms and hold you tight. Seeking a woman to share quality time, walks in the park, movies and quiet times together. !995604 BLACK TEDDY BEAR SBM, 27, is looking for a Queen, who treats the other person in her life right, and expects the same in return. !123000

BY MY SIDE SWM, 51, 6’, self-employed, looking for friendship. I like movies, long drives, good times.You: SWF, 35-55, same interests, companionship first. !986387 FRIENDS OR...

SWM, 36, 165lbs, athletic type, likes watching movies, some evenings out, dining, dancing. Seeking SW/HF, 20-45, slim to average build, same mindset, for possible LTR. !943034

Stud Finder

SIMPLE KIND OF LIFE SWF, 34, listens to country and oldies music, and wants to meet a man to cuddle up on the couch and watch a good movie, or enjoy other simple pleasures. !860787 OLD-FASHIONED LADY SWCF, 48, 5’3”, 150lbs, blonde/green, Scorpio, N/S, enjoys church, Bible studies, music, dining out. Seeking SWCM, 35-60, N/S, for friendship and more. !840939 DREAM GUY SBF, 29, searching for open-minded, outgoing SM, 22-38, military man A+, for friendship, fun nights out, dancing, talks and maybe more. !836990 COULD THIS BE YOU? SBF, 45, 5’4”, full-figured, Taurus, N/S, enjoys church, dining out, reading, and quiet times at home. ISO BM, 45-65, N/S, for LTR. !810309

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M B D F H C LTR

Male Black Divorced Female Hispanic Christian Long-term Relationship

G W A S J P N/D N/S

Gay White Asian Single Jewish Professional Non-Drinker Non-smoker

37

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METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 3, 2004

NASCAR/ETC MAMMA DWF, young 59, 5’4”, smoker, enjoys all racing, the outdoors, reading, beaches, mountains, motorcycles, fishing, sports and more.

Seeking SWM, 54-65, with similar interests, for companionship. !989288

THE BOMB SWF, 18, with a full figure, seeks a male, 1825, who enjoys movies, dinner, for friendship and possibly more with time. !955355

FRIEND IN FAITH SBF, 47, Capricorn, N/S, involved with church, very creative, artistic, designs tile and cards. Seeking BCM, 44-58, involved with church, who loves the Lord. !707742

We Purchase Fine Swiss Watches, Estate Jewelry and Diamonds.

YOU HAVE 6 NEW MATCHES

HONESTY IS THE KEY... to my heart. DWF, 35, 4’11’’, full-figured, Italian features, old-fashioned values, caring, family-oriented, honest, sweet, seeks SM, 31-44, N/S, N/Drugs, for friendship, companionship, romance. !227149

SEEKING HONESTY SBF, 37, full-figured enjoys dining out, movies, reading, music, laughter, parks, and much more. Seeking similar SB/WF, 32-50, for friendship, maybe more. !964698

HIKER HEAVEN SWF, 45, full-figured, N/S, enjoys church, exploring, old movies, auctions, and gym.

Seeking WM, 46-56, N/S. Let’s make tracks together. !807679

To become a member, call 1-888-223-7044 To listen and respond to ads, call 1-900-226-8908 Calls cost $1.99 per min., Must be 18+.

To respond to ads using a GIVE ME A TRY SBM, 25, 5’3”, with a muscular build, seeks a woman for a relationship based on friendship, trust and fun. !993092 ARE YOU OUT THERE? SWM, 56, 135lbs, athletic build, employed, likes movies, quiet conversations, gospel music, C&W, snuggling and good company.

Seeking SF, slim-average build, to share a lasting loving relationship. !979620 TAKE A CHANCE SM, 39, 6’, 240lbs, laid-back, artistic, loves life and trying new things. Seeking SF for fun times, friendship, casual dates and maybe more. !976288 I GIVE GOOD LOVE SM, 28, 5’5”, N/S, Virgo, enjoys sports, bowling, movies, going out, quiet times. Seeking a single lady, 26-34, same interests, for dating, possibly more. !957932 JUST LET ME KNOW SWM, 27, 5’10”, 165lbs, enjoys dining out, movies, music, conversation, traveling, romance, laughter and more. Seeking outgoing, intelligent, humorous SW/BF, 18-30, for companionship. !956434 PRINCE SBM, 27, 5’11”, 165lbs, enjoys music, travel, reading, dining. Seeking a woman who is outgoing, attractive, with similar interests for possible LTR. !954917 NO MORE GAMES SWM, 34, 6’4”, 190lbs, is in great shape, and is looking for a woman who keeps herself healthy and believes in honesty. !955377

ME AND MISS LADY SBM, 38, 6’1”, professional cook, likes sports, looking for a lady, 28-42, likes quiet times, walks in the park, family, fun. Does this sound like you? !951742 ENJOY MY TIME SBM, 46, 5’8”, 190lbs, looking for SB/WF, 2550, N/S, likes watching tv, going to the movies, cooking. Friendship and romantic times first, maybe more. !945941 VELVET TEDDY BEAR SBM, 37, Sagittarius, N/S, in construction field, seeks an intelligent, attractive woman, 23-45, with healthy full figure, loving, caring, affectionate. !936899 LOVES TO MAKE YOU LAUGH SBM, 37, 5’8”, slim build, Aquarius, smoker, disc jockey and pest control technician, seeks woman, 25-41, just as a friend. !939056 LOVEABLE TEDDY BEAR SBM, 38, 6’2”, Cancer, smoker, loves sports, dinner, dancing, movies. Seeking woman, 20-45, smoker, to kick up her heels with me. !938554 MUCH TO OFFER SHM, 58, 5’10”, 185lbs, salt-n-pepper hair, retired, Virgo, N/S, loves trailer camping, mountains, beaches. Seeking WF, 48-62, N/S, retired a+. !937107 NEW TO AREA SBM, 41, 6’3”, 205lbs, brown eyes, handsome, Libra, N/S, ISO honest, sincere, fullfigured woman, 20-60, race unimportant. !928684

SEEKING SOMEONE SPECIAL SBM, 61, Virgo, smoker, likes reading, movies, dining out, travel. Seeking outgoing, caring woman, 18-55, with similar interests, for LTR. !850674 WELL-ROUNDED MAN Educated SBPM, 41, 5’11”, loves reading, working out, the arts, dining out, travel, quiet times. Would like to meet SWF, 30-45, with similar interests, for fun, friendship, and maybe more. !442021

WHAT’S UP? SBM, 19, smoker, enjoys basketball, movies.

Looking for a male, 18-30, no drama, who loves life. !232027 TAKE A CHANCE GWM, 43, 6’2”, 195lbs, black brown, seeks other GWM, for fun times and maybe something more. !493530 THE MISSING PIECE Laid-back SBM, 22, Sagittarius, N/S, seeks a very special SBM, 18-35, to help complete me. !215040 ANYBODY OUT THERE? GHM, 21, Pisces, smoker, into muscle cars, salsa dancing, cats, gardening and landscaping. Seeking GM, 18-40, for companionship, possible LTR. !214399 NO MORE DRAMA Good-hearted GBM, 33, N/S, looking for level-headed single guy, 25-48, who knows his direction in life, for no-games dating and LTR. !854633

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 3, 2004

READY TO HAVE FUN! SF, 25, seeks femme, 25-35, race not important, who is nice, pretty, slim. Let’s talk and get to know one another! !895256 JUST THE FACTS SBPF, 41, Libra, N/S, seeks PF, age and race unimportant, who enjoys dining out, quiet times at home, and movies, for LTR. !730225 SPONTANEOUS, ENERGETIC Slim, tall BiBF, 23, 5’10’’, 142lbs, brown eyes, seeks female, 18-27, who enjoys clubbing, writing poetry, R&B music. !231774 EXCITING BLACK FEMALE, 31 Looking for someone who is loving, kind, caring, enjoys a good time, willing to try new things to add some spice to life. If that’s you, give me a call. !218927 HELLO LADIES SWF, 30, Leo, N/S, enjoys movies, trips to the lake, seeks feminine woman, 24-40, BBW a plus, for friendship, possible serious relationship !213937 GIVE ME A CALL This SBF in Aiken, South Carolina is 33, 5’8”, 150lbs, a smoker, and seeking a very attractive, feminine, fun-loving SBF for movies, walks, and clubbing occasionally. Ages: 30 to 40. !204355

SINGLE MOM Beautiful, plus-sized SF, 29, likes dining out, going to movies, clubs occasionally, cuddling.

Looking for outgoing, fun SF, 25-38, for dating, possibly becoming serious. !997153

I HAVE GOOD QUALITIES Employed, nice SBF (lives in SC) is hardworking but will make time for the right SBF. She’s 34, 5’4”, brown-complected, mediumbuilt, brown-eyed. Enjoy tv, cuddling, fishing, bowling, movies, travel, beaches. !207637

FUN-FILLED DAYS AWAIT SBM, 24, enjoys taking trips, nice restaurants, fun evenings, dancing, quality time together. Seeking masculine SBM, 20-55, for possible relationship. !894435

CALL ON ME SWM, 43, 5’10”, 160lbs, blond/blue, loves the outdoors, dogs, fishing. Seeking SW/HM, 2135, similar interests, friends first, maybe more. !113631

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SEND ME AN ANGEL SBM, 31, seeking serious, open-minded, down-to-earth guy, 30-45, likes hanging out at home, movies. Friendship comes first, possible LTR. No drama! !111070

TO THE POINT SBM, 20, 5’11”, Libra, smoker, loves hanging out with friends and listening to music.

Seeking a real woman, 20s, free of games. !924941

IS IT YOU? Simple, easygoing SM, 47, enjoys bowling, music, cooking, more. Seeking outgoing lady for good times, talks, friendship and possible LTR. !975288

YOU NEVER KNOW... where this could lead. SBM, 24, Pisces, smoker, seeks BF, 20-30, for friendship, perhaps casual dating. !926708

GLOVERVILLE GUY GWM, Capricorn, N/S, loves bars, karaoke, cooking out, and pool. Seeking GWM, 28-49, smoker, to cuddle up with. !936256

GOOD COMPANY SBF, 27, wants to meet a friend for hanging out, shopping, having fun and enjoying good company. !990953 WHY NOT CALL? SBF, 41, seeks goal-oriented, caring SBF with children ok, for friendship, dating and possible relationship. !976521 SOMETHING SPECIAL DWF, 45, 5’8”, 145lbs, two kids at home, loves heavy metal music. Seeking SWF, 3050, likes being around kids, for possible LTR. !945525 AFRICAN-AMERICAN STUD Open-minded, spontaneous, laid-back SBF, 23, Pisces, N/S, loves R&B and old-school music. Seeking feminine woman, 25-50, race not important, who loves to have fun. !919677 BONEVILLE BABE SWF, 31, 5’5”, 130lbs, brown/green, smoker, enjoys playing golf, movies, and picnics at the lake. Seeking WF, 25-40, for friends, possibly more. !818908 A LOT TO OFFER Non-smoking GBF, 37, N/S, seeks very attractive, unique, romantic, fun, intelligent, feminine GF, 27-37, for friendship, dating, possibly more. !749660

Madness!

FUN TO HANG AROUND WITH GWM, 52, 5’2”, smoker, enjoys playing pool, having fun, seeks outgoing GWM, 40-55, smoker, with similar interests. !844895

TIME AFTER TIME SM, 38, is an easygoing guy looking for another guy to spend time with, and share a good friendship. !993392

INTERESTED? SBF, 35, loves reading (Stephen King and Anne Rice), listening to alternative music, as well as jazz. Seeking a woman with similar tastes. !990549

Summer Member

DOGGONE LOVEABLE SWM, 37, Gemini, smoker, nature and animal lover (especially puppies), seeks outgoing, down-to-earth man, 20-70, for friendship. !909184

How do you

38

LET’S SADDLE UP SWM, 27, 5’8”, brown/brown, Virgo, smoker, loves horses, camping (with or without the horses), and traveling. Seeking man, 25-40, who can ride, ride, ride. !921725 LOOKING FOR COOL CAT... to converse with. SBM, 34, Capricorn, N/S, game and drama-free, seeks BM, 26-48, serious-minded, with sense of direction in life. !889038 EASY TO TALK TO SWM, 48, loves good Italian or French cuisine, and is looking for a man who is easy to get along with, for romance. !870126 RELAXING AT HOME SBM, 35, Virgo, N/S, likes relaxing at home, fun, concerts, trips going to the beach. Seeks fun, spontaneous SBM, 26-37, N/S. !532700 GREAT PERSONALITY SBM, 18, 6’3”, 220lbs, masculine build, seeking SBM, 18-29, very masculine, energetic, fun-loving, to go out for dinners, walks and more. !627150

© 2004 TPI GROUP

WHAT A CATCH Slim SBM, 22, 5’10”, green eyes, looking for a laid-back, cool girl, 18-29, very attractive, open mind. Let’s talk. !952108

PLEASE, PLEASE ME SWM, 32, N/S, N/D, is looking for a woman, 27-35, with a petite build, to share good times, conversations and maybe more. !871092

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Call 738-1142 to place your Classified ad today!

Mind, Body & Spirit

Premier Entertainment Complex & High Energy Dance Music WED ALL YOU CAN DRINK... well liquor or draft $6.00 THUR Karaoke with Dana $50 prize FRI & SAT ALL YOU CAN DRINK... well liquor or draft $9.00

1632 Walton Way • Augusta, GA Email: ColiseumAugusta@aol.com

Do you need to Forgive Someone?

Perhaps you should try

RADICAL Forgiveness

Let go of the past and create a new Positive Future.

An Easy, Step-by-Step Process that really works!

Positive Image Awareness Center, Inc. 116 Shaw Street, Martinez, GA 30907 (706) 210-4849 | www.RadicalForgiveness.com

READINGS BY

C A R D R E A D I N G S

Mrs. Graham, Psychic Reader, Advises on all affairs of life, such as love, marriage, and business. She tells your past, present and future. Mrs. Graham does palm, tarot card, and Chakra balancing. She specializes in relationships and reuniting loved ones.

SPECIAL READINGS WITH CARD

MRS. GRAHAM

341 S. Belair Rd. Open from 9 a.m. til 9 p.m.

Call (706) 733-5851

Employment Owner-Operators Dedicated container run between Gainesville, GA and Charleston. Top pay.

Call A.T.C. 800-355-5961

Telephone Service

Tanning

T A N N I N G

S A L O N

9 WOLF TANNING BEDS THE CYCLONE & AIRBRUSHING “Ain’t No Line On My Behind” Open 7 Days a Week (Peak Season) Kroger Shopping Center Across from the Augusta Mall

706-667-0120 www.sandsofsummer.com

Unlimited Long-Distance & Local Calling One Price, One Bill, One Company Keep Your Same Phone # Call 1-800-392-4050 Eula NEX X Independent Rep www.nex xrep.com/134741 (06/03#8439)

Call 738-1142 to place your Classified ad!

Music

Steven D. Kaplan Radical Forgiveness Coach Get Answers Angel Reading Sessions Love & Light Healing Center 2477 Wrightsboro Road 733-8550 or cell 951-1300 (06/03#8451)

Full Body Massage!

Therapeutic tension relief, intense or tender touch, relaxing music, aromatherapy, by appointment only - $49.00/hr.

Call Joy - 706-771-9470 or John - 803-361-8811 (06/03#8463)

Services

Poor Water Drainage?

• French Drains • Gutter Drains • Catch Basins • Erosion Control • Waterproofing • Crawl Space

GUARANTEED SOLUTIONS

Miscellaneous For Sale TV’s & more for $10!

Police seized For Information, 800-749-8101 XM171 (05/28#8459)

www.metrospirit.com Education

LPN to RN in one year!

Scholarships are available for qualified licensed practical nurses to complete an associate’s degree in nursing in one year at Augusta State University.

Enroll now for Fall classes.

For more information, call ASU’s Nursing Dept. at 706-737-1725.

LICENSED • INSURED

706-869-9988

www.sundownconstruction.com Love’s Wedding Chapel All types of ceremonies NO BLOOD TEST!!!!

NO WAITING PERIOD!!!!

Love & Light Healing Center 2477 Wrightsboro Road 706-733-8550 or cell 951-1300 (06/03#8370)

Travel

Religion Meditation & Buddhism Weekly Classes, Tuesdays, 7-8:30pm, April-June 22nd at the Unitarian Church of Augusta, 3501 Walton Way Ex tension, Ganden Buddhist Center, Everyone is welcome!

(No Class 4/20 & 6/1) Call (803) 256-0150 or www.MeditationInSouthCarolina.org for more info.

(06/03#8425) Metropolitan Community Church of Our Redeemer A Christian Church reaching to all: including Gay, Lesbian, and Transgendered Christians.

Meeting at 557 Greene Street, 11 am and 6 pm each Sunday. 722-6454 MCCOurRedeemer@aol.com www.mccoor.com (06/03#8128)

Wheels

Dead Bodies Wanted

We want your dead junk or scrap car bodies.

We tow away and for some we pay.

706/829-2676

OR

706/798-9060

Cars from $500!

Police Impounds For Listings 800-749-4260 X3979 (06/03#8458)

www.metrospirit.com

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 3, 2004

Email your classified ad to classified@metrospirit.com

Pilates

39

What will you be wearing on friday, june 11?

exclusively at

813 broad street | augusta, ga www.modjeskalounge.com