Metro Spirit 06.09.2011 by Metro Spirit

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Metro Spirit is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks a year. Editorial coverage includes local issues and news, arts, entertainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. Visit us at metrospirit.com.© 15 House, LLC. Owner/Publisher: Joe White. Legal: Phillip Scott Hibbard. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. One copy per person, please.

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METRO SPIRIT 6.9.11 3

4 METRO SPIRIT 6.9.11

whineLINE

whineline@themetrospirit.com

up down THUMBS

Too bad a guy named Weiner had to stain his name in public. Boo Hiss Boo Just wanted to give credit where it’s due. I’ve been reading the Metro Spirit since I was attending Augusta College back in the early 1990’s and I have to say I was at a loss for words when I heard Austin say it was gone. And I have to say I am very impressed with the new Spirit. Keep it up! Oh, and get online! saw a couple issues when I was down a week or so ago.....they looked great! Hello, i am morgan smith i will like to place an ad on print and online in your newspaper for 3 weeks 2 English bulldog, free to a good home, vet checked, if interested contact : HYPERLINK “mailto:rev. morgansmith7878@Gmail.com” \t “_blank” rev.morgansmith7878@Gmail. com Please get back to me Not a whine but bragging RAVE for the ASU Jaguar Golfers who made it to the finals of a national golf tournament TWO years in a row!!! Coca-Cola made a commemorative bottle after their first national title. Let’s see what comes up next! im a local web designer i would love to get on board with you guys I love what you are doing and I read in the whines that the readers are looking for a site. Sky Cast LLC, located in Eloy, AZ is pleased to announce it has been awarded status as a National Precast Concrete Association (NPCA) Certified Plant

what did you ever decide about the subscription thing for out of towners? Can you introduce me to the right person on your team to discuss your daily deal/group buying strategy? We are the leading provider of white-label group buying technology and services to help publishers quickly launch daily deal programs in their markets are you no longer offering MS online? Gary Conrad is tentatively available. Before we proceed further, the service fee must be received. Regarding your request for an interview with this artist --We will be happy to assist in arranging this. Our fee for providing this service is $10,000 USD, payable in advance. This is necessary because time and resources will be utilized working on your behalf to make this happen for you. If the artist does not accept your invitation for an interview, 100% of this service fee is returned to you. Please advise when you have placed the wire transfer order. Amount of RDLFA service fee: $10,000 USD Richard De La Font Agency, Inc. even though I’m not technically a true employee, can I put Metro Spirit as my employer? The Mudbug Brew was so much fun. It was hot, but there was sufficient shade, and the children’s area was a big hit with our kids.

The ASU Golf Team just won the NCAA Division I Title. Again. Consecutively. Take that E-Z GO!

THUMBS

To the Marble Palace 11. Ah, what the hell. Throw in Fred Russell and make it the Dirty Dozen. You guys make us pine for the days of the intelligent and thoughtful debate coming from the Coliseum Authority.

OBSERVE

REPORT Ill-informed speculation from a perpectually curious sort.

Retraction! Retraction! Retraction! Last week Observe and Report wrote that Dixie Belle Peaches, Inc. had set up miniature jail cells along Washington Road in an apparent effort to diversify their portfolio. Monday O&R was out doing some recon when…look! By Hooters! An inmate! Approach slowly. Most perps are quick to anger. Remember…..eye contact can be interpreted as a challenge. My God…they feed them well. Look at all those peaches! Oh. Rayan Harmon is selling peaches for Dixie Belle every day from 10-6 pm. 18 peaches for $9. Thirty-six peaches for $15, whole baskets are 72 peaches for $28. Far from surly, Rayan is a real sweetheart. 20 year old student at University of Phoenix. We regret any inconvenience our reporting may have caused.

METRO SPIRIT 6.9.11 5

whineLINE continued...

thankfuly richmond county does not arrest people for having sex in the parking lot. just taking pennies. BISg005We require franchiser in Gujrat for our service business of trademarks patents, Copyrights Design,ISO,ISI,Bar-code.website: HYPERLINK “http://www.copyhart. com/” \t “_blank” www.copyhart. com,Email:info@copyhart.com or call us 9725150009 That was the neatest cover! no parking at the new courthouse is just they way its done in Augusta. As long as the fat cats who run the city dont have to find a spot who cares. Say huh? S and S in North Augusta closed because of “the economy”? Nothing to do with the last of their customers died?

What gives Springlakes the right to block lights on a school’s sports field? That is insane! So a commissioner lives there and is throwing his weight around. Good luck being re-elected.

us what to eat while they make tons of money out of the briefcases of lobbyists

What a cover! Can I by one as a poster? Do you do that?

I don’t have a comment or a whine. I keep to myself mostly.

who gives a CRAP about what is in your paper anymore? it used to have a cool broad street vibe. You move from downtown and start doing stories on applebee’s? lame.

I’M HOT! I’M FREAKING HOT! SHUT THE HELL UP! GET OUT OF MY FACE! I’M HOT!

Why is it there are people out there who lunch and don’t post about it on Facebook? Are you too busy precious? How about you get a life and update your status?

Juneteenth is acoming. Let’s see the history of it! How nice of Sarah Palin to avoid the media. Good thinking finally on her part. We stop hearing and seeing so much of her silliness. And make it harder for the mentally challenged to hang on her every word. Anyone seen the new USDA food chart? Get a load of all these government soapbox jockeys telling

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INSI ER INSIDER@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM

Insider is an anonymous, opinion-based examination of the hidden details of Augusta politics and personalities.

Space for Let

It appears that Richmond County License and Inspection Department functions formerly housed at offices on Marvin Griffin Road are moving to the Municipal Building site in the 500 block of Greene Street. A recent visit to the downtown property shows construction underway on the offices of Planning and Zoning located behind the Municipal Building. In the new organizational structure, the License and Inspection Department functions will be added to Planning and Zoning. It makes sense then that Planning and Zoning offices need more space, requiring some renovation and possible expansion. Let’s bring it all into context. It seems that the county is about to have a lot of space to stretch out. With the removal of judicial offices to the new courthouse, the second, third, fifth and ninth floors and half of the fourth floor of the Municipal Building will be vacant, or nearly so. Substantial space will be

empty in the Law Enforcement Center at 401 Walton Way as well, with the removal of Solicitor’s Office and State Court functions to the new courthouse. So again, why are we adding more space to the Municipal Building site? No one seems to be able to explain. What are we going to do with all of this space? Somewhere therein is there a solution to the plight of the homeless in the Garden City?

Forget We Said Anything Last week’s Insider touched upon the issue of building a downtown baseball stadium last addressed by voters in the July 2010 primary elections. After publication of that article, Richmond County Commissioner Matt Aitken asked that the topic be added to the agenda for this week’s commission meeting. The Insider really hopes it

didn’t bring the item to Commissioner Aitken’s attention. Lake Olmstead Stadium works because: It’s paid for. It’s close to West Richmond County and easily accessible to Columbia County without being removed from downtown and the heart of Augusta. South Augusta can conveniently access the stadium along Wheeless and Highland/Berckman to Washington Road. Everybody feels good about going there. Lots of free and convenient parking. There’s no better use for the present stadium site. (There are better and higher uses for the proposed riverfront location at the former Golf and Gardens site. And please tell me: Golf and Gardens? Really? Who thought that was a good idea?) The stadium still looks good. Fans still like it and it still serves a purpose.

It only dates from the mid-’90s. If truly necessary, there is plenty of room for expansion at the present site. But then again, did we really need any more reasons after number 1? The Insider has great admiration for Cal Ripken’s baseball cred and baseball management experience and recognizes that he’s a proponent of the downtown stadium, but notwithstanding, “If you build it” (a new, downtown riverfront shopping/entertainment/sports complex), will they will really come? History suggests not. Port Royal was initially very popular, but just didn’t last, for a variety of real or perceived reasons. Also see the Golf and Gardens example. Cal, thanks for all the great baseball, but Reynolds Street is no Inner Harbor and this is no Camden Yards.

METRO SPIRIT 6.9.11 7

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Captain Obvious Strikes! POW! BAM! GHSU President Ricardo Azziz (that’s MCG to you and me) recently told the Rotary Club of Augusta, District No. 6920 Club No. 4189, that Augusta needs to pick up the pace when it comes to keeping up with its intelligentsia growth. “We’ve got to become cool,” Azziz stated. If you haven’t been downtown recently, the medical community is a boomin’ with hepcats. What comes along with all them big ‘ol brains is the expectation of recreation satisfaction. Azziz, the former fun coordinator for Carnival Cruise Lines, is concerned that Augusta’s medical community is outpacing the growth of the city’s

infunstructure. Good point. Just don’t make it in public. In front of the Rotary Club of Augusta. Or you may incur the wrath Augusta’s Goateed Defender Barry ”What you talkin’ bout Willis?” White. “People want to go where people want to be,” he said poetically. Keeping the smart folk interested in relocating to Augusta is possible. Maybe focus more on the ease of travel to the beach, mountains or Macon than trying to gussey up downtown. By the time there are street lights, adequate parking and police, we’ll have cured everything and doctors will no longer be needed.

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metro Eric Johnson

Hanging Around

One of the few remaining steeplejacks is helping restore a prominent local steeple

Fred Franklin is a steeplejack, a last of his kind-type of guy who makes his living dangling from a rope high above the ground. So high, in fact, that you probably haven’t even noticed him climbing around up on the First Christian Church steeple. You should check him out, though. Go to the corner of 7th and Greene and just look up. He’s been up there pressure washing and painting for a couple of weeks now. Just him and his ropes and his belt full of jangle. “I use a bosun’s chair,” he says. “I do it pretty traditionally, the way it’s always been done.” A bosun’s chair is basically a sling used to support someone suspended from a rope. “I use modern climbing rope that’s rated at 10,000 pounds,” he says. “A lot of times I’ll just fasten a ladder to the steeple and I can go up and down the ladder and I’ve got positioning ropes out there. I’ll hook on to that with my bosun’s chair and then I can just move around it laterally to where I want to go.” Simple as that. Fasten a ladder to a steeple and climb. When you hang for a living, you get to know your rope, and Franklin knows the maker of his rope personally — Smokey Caldwell from Pigeon Mountain, Georgia. An old caving buddy, Caldwell used to take a piece of rope and hang it from a tree for five years, then put it on a hydraulic stretcher to see how it stood up to the elements. “A rope is rated at 10,000 pounds,” Franklin says. “The working weight is 3,000 pounds and it broke at 7,000 pounds. My truck weighs 7,000 pounds.” Just because a rope’s rated strong doesn’t mean there’s no danger, though. The O’Neills, the threegeneration steeplejack family who worked on the steeple the last time around, were undoubtedly confident about their rope, too, but working down in Savannah after the First Christian steeple was painted about

15 years ago, a rope broke and one of the brothers died. Franklin doesn’t think much about stuff like that. Distractions aren’t welcome climbing buddies. “I’ve had a few days when I’ve been out with the guys the night before or I’ve been real stressed and go to work and I can’t get my mind focused and I just say, ‘I’m not working today,’” he says. “If I’ve got problems that are unresolved to the point where I can’t work, I need to get them resolved and then come back.” So far, the First Christian steeple has gone smoothly, though every day is a little different and every steeple requires its own plan of attack. Initially, he slid a rope out from an opening between the shingles. “I slide a rope out and then I use ascenders and climb up that single rope,” he says. “Then I can go up and I’ve got a pole and I tie a slipknot on a bite. I’ll get my pole and I’ll push it up and choke it off to the top of the steeple and then I’ll climb up that and then I’ll wrap it with carpet and about three wraps of rope and I’ll put some steel carabiners on that. That’s my rigging point to the top of the steeple.” Nila Wicker, First Christian’s chair of restoration, anticipates the total steeple project will cost approximately $100,000. To help finance the steeple and the work still to be done on the manse, Wicker says they’ve reopened their antique store to the public Fridays and Saturdays. “We’re finding ways to find it,” she says of the restoration money. Franklin, who lives in Covington, Georgia, and has worked the Southeast from Memphis to Florida, used to do high rise work in Atlanta back in the 1990s, mostly at CNN Center and the Omni. Light shows. Hanging banners. Window washing. Just about anything off the ground. After seven years he left that job to branch out on his own. His first job — preparing an Atlanta

steeple on the marathon route for its international close-up during the 1996 Summer Olympics. “That was about 15 years ago and since then I’ve probably worked on about 40 steeples,” he says. He’s also worked on Sacred Heart Cultural Center and Springfield Baptist Church here in Augusta. Because scaffolding is expensive and cranes are rented by the hour, Franklin is often the most cost-effective way to work on steeples, and though he’s slow, he’s deliberate, which can make the difference. “That’s kind of my niche,” he says. “I can do it off of ropes and lower my overhead and take the time to do it right.” Rushing can mean outpacing the products you’re using, he says, which can weaken them and cripple the project. The Kevlar reinforced elastomeric coating he’s putting on now, he says, expands and contracts with the heat, which is good, but it’s got to be put on correctly. As for the near-misses and close calls you’d expect from a job like this, Franklin says he’s been pretty lucky, though he has had a reoccurring battle with bees. “Sometimes there will be thousands of them,” he says. “There must be something about the shape of the steeple that attracts them.” And those are the ones that are just there buzzing around. Occasionally, he’ll come across a nest, like the time he hit one with his pressure washer. “I saw them all come out and I just pushed off and turned my pressure washer off and spun around,” he says. “There were some ladies down below watching, and when I pushed out, they thought I was falling.” See what you miss when you don’t look up? For more photos of Franklin at work, check out our Facebook page.

Fred Franklin METRO SPIRIT 6.9.11 9

Riding the waves Retraining brainwaves instead of popping pills

Five year old Jeremiah Palmer lies on a bed with a soft, stuffed bear at his side. You’d think it was naptime if he wasn’t wearing headphones and flashing glasses, and the bed — and the bear — weren’t vibrating. Jeremiah Palmer has been undergoing neurofeedback treatments for about two and a half weeks, and his mother Chandra has seen a dramatic change in her active son’s ability to focus. It became especially evident the other day when they went to the movies. “Normally, with a movie, even though it’s for his age group, he gets up and is fidgety,” Palmer says. “During ‘Kung Fu Panda’ he just sat there. It was shocking to me. I asked him if he was okay and he said he was fine — he was just watching the movie.” She says that’s not something he would have been able to do just a few weeks earlier, when Jeremiah’s pre-K teachers worried about how he would handle kindergarten. Dr. Tom Paris has been working with neurology through his chiropractic practice for the last 32 years, but he only started offering neurofeedback at the first of the year, and he’s been amazed at the amount of interest people have shown in the treatment. “We started less than a half a year ago, and most days we’re at capacity,” he says. “I look at that very much as a blessing, but it also really demonstrates to me that people are looking for something different and people are getting more leery of having a medicine answer to it.” Specifically, he’s talking about the tendency to prescribe mental

performance drugs like Ritalin and Adderall to children with ADD/ ADHD. Though he doesn’t question the drugs’ effectiveness at getting students to focus, he does question the toll it takes. “You can’t keep doing something that is known to be disturbing to the metabolism day after day and year after year without having health consequences,” he says. “That’s just not even a likely scenario. But when you have parents seeing their children going from borderline to straight As, you can see where parents would be reluctant to take them off their medicine.” Paris feels the neurofeedback program he provides — its franchise name is called BrainCore Therapy — achieves the same benefits as the drugs, but more effectively and without the potential disruptive effects. What he’s doing is basically a chiropractic adjustment of the brain. In the past, the medical community felt the brain was unable to change, but as they noticed stroke victims recovering in ways that didn’t seem possible, they started to reevaluate the brain’s ability to adapt. The doctors call it neuroplasticity. Neurofeedback capitalizes on that idea through a two-step process that shows the brain where it’s supposed to be and then trains it to stay there in what Paris calls a state of regulation. “If you have a Steinway grand piano and it hasn’t been tuned for 20 years, you’re going to want to look at it as a piece of furniture, but you’re not going to want to listen to it,” he says. So, to get the brain back to where

it’s supposed to be, Paris hooks the patient up to an EEG to find out where it is. He consults with the patient about his findings and then begins the process of bringing it into that state of regulation by reminding it what it feels like to be regulated. By wearing the glasses that flash, wearing the headphones that hum

and laying on the bed that vibrates — all at the frequency the EEG determined was needed — the patient’s brain feels what it’s supposed to feel. “During this period, we’re telling the brain that this is what alpha is or this is what low beta is,” Paris says. This entrainment phase usually takes about 20 minutes to complete. “From there we may put together a jigsaw puzzle on the patient’s monitor,” Paris says. “The only way that can happen is when the EEG sensor sends a message to the computer that a sufficient amount of the right brainwave activity is taking place. The EEG sensor actually acts like a switch. When you reach the threshold, you’ll put another piece of the puzzle together.” One phase is teaching, the other is

the brain actually performing, and it’s that performing part — getting the brain to feel what it’s like to actually operate where it’s supposed to be operating — that Paris says is

the real key. Though it all seems a little like science fiction, neurofeedback has been studied since the 1960s. Insurance doesn’t cover the treatments, which typically last 20 sessions, but Paris says it’s becoming more accepted by the general medical community, and he’s actually attracting more medical professionals as patients. The most rewarding thing, however, is that the process is helping kids excel while also taking pressure off parents, who, in the most extreme cases, were looking at providing a lifetime of support to their child. He nods at Jeremiah, who lies quietly on the bed holding the stuffed bear at his side. “And stop and think what this will do for his learning process,” he says.

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There’s no denying it…Summer’s here, and with it comes all the requisite challenges – vacation expenses, high gas prices (even if we did get our Memorial Day spike a little early), child care, that bill to Georgia Power. While some of us have resorted to digging under the seat cushions, a few of us have already moved on to the next thing, which around here can range from sign shaking to selling plasma. None of this is going to make you rich, but it can help make ends meet – or maybe pay for that box fan you’ve had your eye on.

The Slow Drip of Cash Donating blood products is a way to help others while feeling good about yourself, and sometimes it’s actually a way to make a few bucks. When it comes to whole blood, the volunteer (volunteer meaning uncompensated) blood center carries the brunt of the load. Here in Augusta, that’s Shepeard Community Blood Center. Opened in 1978, it is the local blood provider for 17 local hospitals and the Joseph M. Still Burn Center. “The Food and Drug Administration regulates the blood industry,” says Linda Petersen, Marketing and Public Relations

Manager at Shepeard. “Volunteer blood is considered to be very low risk for any potential diseases or things of that nature.” To achieve the amount of blood needed by those 17 local hospitals spread across 18 counties, Shepeard needs a minimum of 200 volunteer donors. A day. As summer approaches, the need increases because student donations account for 20 percent of the blood supply, and with students out of school and the general donor population disrupted by odd schedules, blood centers experience a significant decrease

in donations during the summer. The numbers highlight how easily the donations can start falling short. Only 37 percent of the population is eligible to donate blood and only 10 percent actually goes through with it. But there’s more to blood than just that. Approximately 55 percent of blood by volume is actually plasma, a yellowish liquid that is 92 percent water. When separated into its components, plasma yields important proteins that assist in a variety of different things, including therapies that help those with blood clotting disorders like hemophilia and those with primary

immunodeficiency, where individuals don’t make the necessary antibodies to protect themselves from infection. Becky Levine, a representative of Grifols Biomat USA, one of the leading producers of plasma derived therapies, says those proteins are also used to help people who have been exposed to potentially life threatening diseases like rabies. “What we give is a rapid, temporary immunity,” she says. “If you have been exposed to rabies, you would get a series of vaccinations that would provide long term immunity, but until they take effect, you need short term, rapid immunity, METRO SPIRIT 6.9.11 11

and our products provide that. Without that temporary immunity, the disease can be fatal.” Grifols is the second largest company in the world for plasma attainment. “We own and operate 147 plasma donation centers across the county,” says Chris Healey. “Plasma is collected at those donation centers and is subjected to rigorous oversight from the Food and Drug Administration. The FDA inspects every one of our donor centers and licenses them at least every other year.” Unlike blood donations, which are more or less direct transactions, initial plasma donations are held in quarantine until the second donation passes the test. This delay is important, Levine says, because it gives the lab time to properly analyze the quality of the sample, and if there is a problem – say the plasma comes back positive for an infectious disease – staff can inform the donor and direct him to a medical facility for further testing and diagnosis. Under FDA guidelines, a donor can give plasma twice a week – specifically two times in a seven day period as long as those two times are separated by 48

hours. “One of the things we do is emphasize the need for repeat donations,” Healey says. “We don’t want somebody to just come in three times. We want somebody to be a regular donor. We want to be able to build a health history profile so we can track the health over time and make sure that they remain healthy and that the plasma remains healthy.” Because most of the people who use these protein treatments need the treatments throughout their entire lives, it’s vital that there is a continual supply of that quality plasma. Again, the numbers speak volumes about the need for donations: a patient with primary immunodeficiency needs 130 plasma donations to keep healthy over the course of a year. That constant need pays off for many locals, who donate their plasma for the dollar signs that are attached. “We’re not paying you for your plasma,” the guy at the front counter says to a prospective donor at the Biomat USA donation center on Wrightsboro Road. “We’re compensating you for your time.”

The compensation is real money any way you look at it, whether you’re selling your plasma or selling your time. At the Augusta center, the donation fee schedule starts at $30 for the first donation. With special incentives, it jumps to $45 for the next four donations. After that, once you become the kind of regular donor they’re looking for, the rate levels out at $60 for a two-donation week. It’s immediate compensation, and there’s even a referral program and occasional coupons “They’re really a cross section of society,” Healey says of the donors. “We have blue collar workers. We have military personnel. We have stay at home moms and we’ve got white collar workers, college students, the under employed and those with part time jobs who have extra time on their hands.” While the Biomat facility is clean and relatively new, the donors moving through the facility are a decidedly worn-looking bunch. Some arrive with magazines ready for the wait, which will be about an hour and a half, while some, like Rolanda Harris, bring a

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friend, undoubtedly trying to boost her payout with a referral. “It’s just like giving blood,” she says, smiling. “It’s not seedy at all.” Harris says the secret of getting out in a timely fashion is to drink plenty of fluids. She says it will let your plasma flow faster. “We compensate our donors for the time and effort,” Healey says. “Sometimes what will bring in a donor will be that a member of the family or a loved one has need of one of those products, while other folks view it as an opportunity to make extra pocket money – college students looking to pay expenses or someone with a Christmas fund. People come in for various reasons.” While they make a concerted effort to educate donors about how the plasma is used and try to send patients out to the centers to put a face with the donation, life around the facility seems to move independent of the bigger picture. Like most businesspeople, the donors all seem to have important places to be.

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Stand the Heat?

Working in hot weather looks like it sucks; but it’s easy to smile when your making money

Drive down any thoroughfare in Augusta, they are standing on the corners. Sign holders. Sunday paper hawkers. Characters in a company costume. They are heckled by impatient drivers. They are called unmentionable yet oft repeated names. Sometimes people call the stores and complain about their presence. People even throw their trash at them. Who are the people willing to stand in record heat and endure public scorn? We talked to a few who were out this weekend. As it turns out, street work is not such a bad gig.

Friday Little Ceasar is a 50-year-old woman. She is petite and has a wiry body any 20-year-old would envy. “I pride myself in being able to connect with people as they drive by,” she says with cheerleader-like enthusiasm as she puts on the polyester Little Caesars Pizza suit. Her tan arms and legs, a result of the days she’s spent holding signs, are now wrapped in stodgy Little Caesar arms. The suit looks cumbersome and generally chaffing. In fact, it’s hard to imagine doing this job without being slightly bitter. “Most people think I’m a poor teenage kid,” she says. “But this is my passion. Don’t feel sorry for me.” The four-foot-10-inch woman spends anywhere from five to eight hours a day waving at cars at the intersection of Fury’s Ferry and Evans to Locks roads. She’s had the occasional teenage prankster throw things at her. People have cussed at her. Mostly, she entertains the passers-by. “I love being able to look people in the eye and connect with them,” she says as she puts on the feet that are the size of Kareem Abdul Jabbar’s shoes. “Street advertising is one of the best things a struggling business can do,” says franchise owner Garry Condrey. It drives up foot traffic, and thus revenue. Plus, the $2,300 suit needs to pay off. Condrey has someone on the corner

at least nine hours a day except on the hottest days of the month. Little Caesar’s head is equipped with an overhead fan and the user also wears a refrigerated vest with cool gel — kind of like wearing a vest made out of ice packs. Seitz also wears a frozen water pack to drink. To safeguard against overheating, she takes a break every 30 minutes to an hour. Something tells me that even 98 degree weather will not keep her indoors. Once the outfit is on, she tells me she’ll have to stop talking to me. It’s unethical to break character, she says. In her youth, she was a professional character at Disney World. She won’t tell me which ones she played because that would go against character ethics. She won’t even let me take her picture as she’s getting dressed. “I don’t want to mess with the fantasy,” she says. “It’s not just putting on a costume. You have to inhabit the character.” We walk to her station and she dances, twirls and waves at every car. And a funny thing happens. An old codgerly man in a pickup trucks waves at her as we walk by. Suddenly, people of all ages are waving at her. Her connection with people is evident. She has elevated street advertising to a professional craft. Besides, no one likes to see a sad and depressed mascot.

Saturday Earl Brown stands at the other side of the intersection, battling heat from the sun and car fumes, with only a cardboard sign for shade. He says he’s been a sign holder for almost five years. Today, he’s holding a sign for Great Deals on Furniture. I’m sweating just talking to him for 20 minutes. The 47-year-old says he hasn’t had

the easiest life. He’s been in and out of homeless shelters years ago, and, understandably, he doesn’t want to give too many details. Now, with the help of this job, he can afford an apartment. He says he doesn’t own a car, so he gets picked up in the morning on the corner of 9th and Walton Way, along with other sign-holders — some homeless, some

not — and they are driven to their locations for the day. If the opportunity arose, he’d prefer to work in a cooler environment, but he gets paid $50 for five hours. That’s not bad considering that’s almost double minimum wage just to stand on the corner. He only holds signs on the weekend and the rest of the week he cuts grass. the sign holders are

responsible for their own hydration he says, and he’s fresh out of water. I buy him some iced tea at O’Charleys. “I’d rather be inside,” he says, “but at least I only have to work for five hours.” And they are the hottest five hours of the day.

METRO SPIRIT 6.9.11 13

Earl Brown

Sunday Allen Groves, ground radio repair instructor at Fort Gordon, has a regular gig on one of the busiest intersections in Augusta. One wouldn’t think a 22year veteran of the U.S. Army would need a weekend job. He didn’t think so either, till the recession hit in 2008. “I’m just out here to get some more money in my pocket,” he says as a lady driving a sedan rolls down her window and waves a dollar bill at him. I meet him at 12 in the afternoon, six hours into his shift, and he still has a load of papers to move. Two years ago he began selling when the stock market tanked and he lost some money in investments. Pretty soon afterwards the cost of gas and food went up, he says, along with living expenses in general. Now he’s trying to make up the difference out on the street corner. He’s got a cozy gig, at least compared to Seitz and her cartoon Roman dictator costume. An umbrella provides him shade. He has an ice cooler and plenty of water. He can sit in the back of his truck if business is

slow. Sunday morning, he picks up anywhere from 180-200 Augusta Chronicle papers, sets up at the corner and Wheeler Road and Robert C. Daniel Jr. Parkway from 6 a.m. till his truck is empty, which could be eight or 12 hours. Not everyone appreciates his presence on the street. “I feel like most guys I work with have a bad rap,” says the six-foot tall man. “People yell at us sometimes. They’ll say [paper hawkers] hold up traffic.” For instance, if someone gives him a twenty, it takes a full 60 seconds to change it out. By then, he’ll get middle fingers and choice words from rushed drivers. “I’ve been called everything in the book,” he says. But he brushes it off. He’s out there because selling papers is profitable. In one day he typically banks $120 to $180. That’s about $2 per degree of heat. Let’s just hope it keeps getting hotter. Allen Groves

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TURN of the

CENTURY A look back at the news the Metro Spirit was covering at the turn of the century

June 7, 2000 In a guest column featured on the cover, Augusta Tomorrow’s then-president Julian Osbon explained why the downtown development organization was preparing to chart a solo course by breaking its longtime partnership with the city. In 1999, the city reduced its annual commitment to the Augusta Tomorrow partnership from $44,000 to $11,000. The reason given by the commission was the need to divert more funding to indigent care needs. This reduction put a disproportionate share of the operating cost on the business partner but was accepted out of sensitivity to the indigent care situation. When indigent care was no longer a budgetary concern, I appeared before the Augusta

For that reason, and after a unanimous vote by Augusta Tomorrow’s executive committee, AT will not request any membership funding for the coming year, therefore ending the 18-year partnership. According to Executive Director Camille Price, that break made the $500 a month paid by board members in dues to the notfor-profit the only funding the organization receives, however the administrators of both Augusta and North Augusta continue to be members, albeit non-paying members. “We felt it was really, really important to still have the cities represented on the board, but we understood the problems Augusta was having financially,” Price said.

general consensus is that many commissioners are not qualified for their jobs and have little vision or understanding of the issues. Anchoring the Arts and Entertainment section was a story about Farmclub.com, a popular music show broadcast on the USA cable network, coming to town to tape a segment about Augusta’s Figure Four, the wrestling-themed rap/rock group.“Everything just seems to be falling into place,” said Daddy Turnbuckle about his band, which also includes vocalist The Dunderchief, bassist Ranger Danger and guitarist Endo-Structo. “We’ve worked hard to get here and we’re going to milk it for all it’s worth.”

According to Dave Munoz, the aforementioned Dunderchief, that was a magical time. “We had everything in the right spot at the right time,” he says now. “And us having wrestling masks was totally different back then. We were all characters in our own minds.” Munoz says the fame that went with the national exposure, along with the divorce of two band members and some other personal issues, managed to keep Figure Four from breaking out of Augusta, but about this time every year, some of the band members start talking of a reunion concert: Figure Forth of July. He insists that some day it’ll happen.

Photography: jWhite

Commission and asked them to restore funding to this partnership at the pre1999 level of $44,000. This would still be substantially below the private members’ contribution this year of almost $80,000, which is what it would take for the city to reach the historical 50/50 level. On a vote of 7-2-1, the commission declined the request. This lack of commitment to the partnership has resulted in a loss of confidence by AT in the current commission’s commitment to long-term needs of the city and the mission of the Augusta Tomorrow partnership.

While Augusta Tomorrow may have understood the city’s financial issues, that didn’t mean the board members were just going to sit around and watch the commission continue to make things worse. The Insider reported news of the formation of a political action committee made up of many dissatisfied members of Augusta Tomorrow. The goal: raise money to find qualified candidates to run against local elected officials. Insiders insist that organizers of the PAC are especially interested in unseating several Augusta commissioners. The

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Ashley and Keith LeBlanc at Saturday’s Mudbugabeaux N Brew Keith is in his last year of dermatology residency here in Augusta at MCG and Ashley is in her seventh month of pregnancy. New Orleans natives, seems like a reasonable thing to do…participate in a crawfish eating contest. “I was impressed, for being 600 miles away-good crawfish, good flavor..it was like being at home,” Keith said. Their 19 month old son Ian is not a fan of the crawfish, however. He scampers off in his seersucker onesie at the mention of the dreaded mudbug. Although Ian doesn’t know whether he’s having a brother or sister, it’s a good bet she/he will like the mudbug.

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Redistricting is coming whether we’re ready for it or not, and Director of the Board of Elections Lynn Bailey made it clear that if the Richmond County Commission was looking to her for answers, they were looking in the wrong place. “I do not have a plan for where these lines will go,” she told the commission. “Nor do I have a plan for how we’re going to get there.” Ominous words coming from her, but maybe just a little exaggerated. While she didn’t have a plan, she certainly had a lot to tell the commission about the things they could do to get one in place. But first, the numbers. According to the state reapportionment office, Richmond County experienced a growth of only 774 people over the last 10 years. By taking that new population (200,549) and dividing it by the eight commission districts, you get an ideal district size of 25,008. Statewide repercussions of the lackluster growth aside, the numbers show a significant redistribution of the population within the county. “When you take into account that Richmond County’s size hasn’t changed, yet the deviations are off that much, we’ve had some shifts in population,” Bailey said. Given the new numbers, Districts 1 and 2 are substantially under populated and Districts 3 and 4 are substantially overpopulated, all of which brings us back to the initial question: what is the county going to do about it all? “There are no rules or laws or guidelines that exist as to how we get this done,” she said. “Only that it needs to be done.”

In 2002, a redistricting committee was formed. It was made up of four representatives from the commission, four from the school board and four from the legislative delegation, and Bailey, who was part of that process, testified that it was a structure that worked well. “It would be my suggestion that however we proceed, that this group be prepared to have a plan to the General Assembly right at the beginning of the 2012 session,” she said. “Because we’re going to quite frankly be in competition with 158 other counties and municipalities in the hundreds, all trying to get their plans through the general assembly at the same time.” While some counties are using special software to help them form the boundaries, Bailey suggested they could take advantage of the state reapportionment office in Atlanta, which has a staff person dedicated to help with local redistricting. “That’s how we worked in 2002,” she said. “We used the state office to draw a template of an initial plan.” The advantage of having an outside agency come up with the initial plan, she said, was that they didn’t have anything to lose or gain. “We went to them and had them draw up a non-biased plan that was based on the criteria that the little committee came up with and that was equal in representation across the board.” It still took a lot of tweaking at the local level, she said, but at least it the initial phase was easily designed.

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calendar Basic Digital Photography is a six-session class at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art that meets Thursdays from 6-9 p.m. beginning June 9. $144 for members; $160 for non-members. Preregistration required. Call 706-722-5495 or visit ghia.org.

The Charleston Renaissance: Works on Paper, an exhibition of more than two dozen watercolors and etchings by Ellen Day Hale, Alfred Hutty, Alice Ravenel, Huger Smith, Anna Heyward Taylor and Elizabeth O’Neill Verner, shows at the Morris Museum of Art through June 26. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org.

Printmaking Made Easy is a six-session class at the Gertrude Herbert Instititue of Art that meets Thursdays from 6-8:30 p.m. beginning June 9. $117 for members; $130 for non-members. Call 706-722-5495 or visit ghia.org.

Art Greene Photography Exhibit is at Sacred Heart Cultural Center through June 30. Call 706-826-4700 or visit sacredheartaugusta.org.

Day of Art, hosted by the North Augusta Artists Guild, is each Tuesday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. at the Arts and Heritage Center and includes a group of artists painting in the center who will answer questions or allow visitors to join in. Call 803-441-4380 or visit artsandheritagecenter.com.

Music in the Park Concert Series, featuring North Augusta Idol Spotlight with Host Jim Tau and Quartet, is Thursday, June 9, at 7 p.m. in the verandah at Maude Edenfield Park in North Augusta. Call 706-737-1444 or visit naartscouncil.org.

Arts

Exhibitions

Aiken Artist Guild GalleryHeart Gallery Opening Reception is Thursday, June 16, from 6-9 p.m. Local photographers will be donating their services to provide portraits of children in need of being adopted. The photos will be placed in public venues around the state. Call 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterforarts.org. Philip Juras: The Southern Frontier, landscapes inspired by Bartram’s travels, shows at the Morris Museum of Art. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. The Eclectic Works of Joe Rob is an exhibition that shows on the third floor of the Headquarters Branch Library until July 8. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. ASU/NYC Art Exhibition shows through Sunday, June 19, at the Morris Museum of Art. It includes approximately 40 pieces of art from 15 art students who participated in ASU’s Study Away Tour of New York City last December. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org.

18 METRO SPIRIT 6.9.11

Music

Appleby Concert Series presents Melanie Larsen and Friends on Tuesday, June 14, at 8 p.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. Music in the Park Concert Series, featuring Carey Murdock and NoStar, is Thursday, June 16, at 7 p.m. in the verandah at Maude Edenfield Park in North Augusta. Call 706-737-1444 or visit naartscouncil.org. Hopelands Summer Concert Series is each Monday evening, MayAugust, at 7 p.m. at Hopelands Gardens in Aiken. Call (803) 642-7630 or visit aiken.net/hopelandsgarden.html.

Literary

Brown Bag Book Club meets Thursday, June 16, at 11:30 a.m. at the Columbia County Library to discuss “The Road” by Cormac MacCarthy. Call 706-863-1946 or visit columbiacountyga.gov. Book Signing and Talk with Victoria Miguel-Joseph, author of “When Never Comes Again,” is Saturday, June 11, from 2-4 p.m. at Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Soul City Sirens take on the Columbia Quad Squad Sunday, June 12, at 6 p.m. at Red Wing Rollerway. Tickets are $10 in advance or $15 at the door. Call 706-860-1548 or visit soulcitysirens.com. NOOK Tutorials at Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall are each Saturday beginning at noon, followed by a NOOKcolor tutorial at 12:30 p.m. Free. Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com.

Dance

“How to Train Your Dragon” shows Friday, June 10, at 7 p.m. as part of the Movies Under the Stars Series at the Columbia County Ampitheatre presented by MCGHealth Children’s Medical Center. Visit mcghealth.org.

Friday Dance is every Friday night from 8:30-11 p.m. at The Ballroom Dance Center in Evans. $5. Call 706854-8888 or visit thebdc.us.

“A Cold Day in Hell” shows Tuesday, June 7, at 6:30 at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Christian Singles Dance, for ages 18 and over, is every Saturday night at The Ballroom Dance Center in Evans from 7-11 p.m. $8-$10. Call 706-8548888 or visit thebdc.us.

“Despicable Me” shows Tuesday, June 14, at 2:30 p.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org.

Flix

“La Reine Margot,” directed by Patrice Chereau, shows Thursday, June 9, at 6:30 p.m. as part of Thursday Night Foreign Film Series at Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

“For Colored Girls” shows Thursday, June 16, at 2:30 p.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Call 706-7932020 or visit ecgrl.org. “Das Boot” directed by Wolfgang Petersen shows Thursday, June 16, at 6:30 p.m. as part of Thursday Night Foreign Film Series at

Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. “Vanishing Georgia” shows throughout June at the Augusta Museum of History as part of the museum’s History Theater Film Series. Free with admission. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

Special Events

Greater Augusta Arts Council Annual Meeting and Awards Party, celebrating the achievements of 2011’s award winners, will be Thursday, June 9, at 6:30 p.m. at the Sacred Heart Cultural Center. Tickets are $20. RSVP by June 6. Call 706-826-4702 or visit augustaarts.com.

Sesame Street Live! 1-2-3 Imagine with Elmo and Friends is at the Bell Auditorium Tuesday, June 14, at 7 p.m. and Wednesday, June 15, at 10 a.m. and 7 p.m. $16-$56. Call 706-722-3521 or visit augustaentertainmentcomplex.com.

Dancing with the Stars of Augusta will be Friday, June 10, at 6 p.m. at Bell Auditorium. Guests and supporters will have the opportunity to vote for their favorite couple both in the weeks leading up to the event and

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at the event itself. Each dollar raised is a vote. Proceeds benefit the Alzheimer’s Association. Call 706-731-9060 or visit dancingstarsofaugusta.com. Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History Celebrates 20 Years on Saturday, June 11, with a children’s festival from 10 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Free. From 6-10 p.m. there will be an evening reception. $25 per person. Call 706-7243576 or visit lucycraftlaneymuseum.com. SuCCess Columbia County, sponsored by The Haven at Reed Creek, is on Monday, June 13, from 5-7 p.m. This event is designed for members to meet with other businesspeople of small to large companies and organizations. Members only. Call 706-651-0018 or visit columbiacountychamber.com. Downtown After 6 Beach Blast is Thursday, June 16, in downtown Aiken. Sponsoring businesses will stay open late. After the shops close, Newberry Street

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Brick Yard Market is each Friday from 6-9 p.m. at Hammond’s Ferry in North Augusta and features fresh produce and goods, as well as live music in front of Manuel’s Bread Cafe. Call 803-380-1323 or visit hammondsferry.com. Saturday Market at the River, located at 8th Street Plaza, downtown Augusta, is each Saturday, April 16Oct. 29, from 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Visit theaugustamarket.com.

Health

Darkness to Light: Stewards for Children, a child sexual abuse prevention program, is on Thursday, June 9, from 9 a.m.-noon at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call Dan Hillman or Meredith Howard at 706-737-4631. Car Seat Class will be held Thursday, June 9, from 5:45-8 p.m. in MCGHealth Building 1010C. $10. Preregistration required. Call 706-721-7606 or visit mcghealth.org. Maintaining Your Health, part of the Keeping Our Communities Healthy and Informed (KOCHI) series, is Saturday, June 11, at 1:30 p.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Call 706-722-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Childbirth Tour, a free tour that guides expectant parents through MCGHealth’s Labor and Delivery. Tours are Saturday, June 11, from 10:30-11:30 a.m. and Tuesday, June14, from 7:308:30 p.m. Call 706-721-9351 or visit mcghealth.org. American Red Cross Babysitter’s Training is Thursday, June 16, from 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Students ages 11 to 15, learn about leadership, safety, basic care and first aid in order to provide safe, responsible care. $30 fee includes babysitting text and certificate. Call 803641-5000 or visit aikenregional.com. Blood Cancer/Stem Cell Support Group will meet Thursday, June 16, from 5:30-7 p.m. in the MCGHealth Cancer Center’s first floor community room. Call 706-721-1634 or visit mcghealth.org. Weekender Childbirth Preparation Class, a complete childbirth preparation class designed for those with time constraints or fluctuating schedules is Friday, June 10, from 6:30-9:30 p.m. and Saturday, June 11, from 9 a.m.5:30 p.m. Call 706- 774-2825 or visit

universityhealth.org. Multiple Sclerosis and Parkinson Disease Aquatics Class, sponsored by the CSRA Parkinson Support Group and The Family Y, is a group class designed specifically for ambulatory participants affected by Multiple Sclerosis and Parkinson Disease. Held each Friday at noon at the Wilson Family Y indoor pool. Call Claudia Collins 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org. Joint Efforts, an informational class about knee and hip pain causes and treatments sponsored by Trinity Hospital of Augusta, meets every Thursday at 11 a.m. at Augusta Orthopaedic Clinic. Call 706-481-7604 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Support

ALS Support Lunch and Learn is Thursday, June 9, from 11 a.m.-1:30 p.m. in MCGHealth Medical Office Building’s fourth floor, room 4306. Lunch is provided. Pre-registration required. Call 706-721-2681 or visit mcghealth.org. Breast Cancer Support Group meets Thursday, June 9, from 5:30-7:30 p.m. in MCGHealth’s Cancer Center’s first floor community room. Call 706721-4109 or visit mcghealth.org. Mended Hearts, a volunteer organization comprised of people with heart diseases, meets at the USC-Aiken Business Center Friday, June 10, from 10:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m. Call 803-649-7615 or visit aikenregional.com. Pink Magnolias Breast Cancer Support Group meets Monday, June 13, at 6:30 p.m. at University Hospital’s Breast Health Center. Open to all ages. Free. Call 706-774-4141 or visit universityhealth.org. Diabetes Support Group will meet at O’Dell Weeks Center on Whiskey Road, Tuesday, June 14, from 3-4 p.m. Pre-registration required. Call 803-293-0021 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. La Leche League will meet Tuesday, June 14, at 10 a.m. at United Presbyterian Church, Kimberly Drive. Visit lllofga.org. Let’s Talk Cancer Support Group meets Tuesday, June 14 and June 28, from 5:30-7 p.m. in MCGHealth’s Cancer Center’s first-floor community room. Call 706-721-0550 or visit mcghealth.org. OB/GYN Cancer Support Group meets Tuesday, June 14, at 7 p.m. For more information and meeting

location call 706-821-2944 or visit universityhealth.org. Alzheimer’s Support GroupAugusta meets Tuesday, June 14, at 7 p.m. at the Alzheimer’s Association Chapter Building. Call 706-731-9060 or visit universityhealth.org. Trauma Support Group will meet Wednesday, June 15, from noon-1 p.m. For more information and meeting location call 706-721-0278 or visit mcghealth.org. Cancer Support Group will meet Wednesday, June 15, from 3-4 p.m. in the Aiken First Baptist Church parlor. Call 803-644-6140 or visit aikenregional.com. Alzheimer’s Support GroupNorth Augusta meets Wednesday, June 15, from 6-7 p.m. at the First Baptist Church of North Augusta. Call 803-2785611 or visit universityhealth.org. Weight Loss Support Group, open to anyone suffering from ailments due to obesity, meets Thursday, June 16, at 7 p.m. Call 706-481-7298 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Skip To My Lupus meets at Aiken Regional Medical Center’s Dining Room A on Thursday, June 19, from 7-9 a.m. Call 803-282-9193 or visit aikenregional.com. Moms Connection meets every Tuesday from 1-2 p.m. at 1225 Walton Way (the old Fairway Ford dealership), room 1010C. Pre-registration required. Call 706-721-9351 or visit mcghealth.org. Weight Loss Surgery Support Group meets each Wednesday at 1:30 p.m. in Suite 110 of Medical Office Building 2, 3624 J. Dewey Gray Circle, on the Doctors Hospital campus. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

Education

Word Processing Basics is a two-session computer class that meets Thursday-Friday, June 9-10, at 10 a.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Free, but pre-registration requred. Call 706-722-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Embroidery for Adults is Saturday, June 11, at 1:30 p.m. at Headquarters Branch Library. All materials are free. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Tai Chi for Beginners is Thursday, June 16, at 4 p.m. at Headquarters Branch Library. Led by

Jacquelyn Hedman. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

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Powerpoint I Computer Class at the Headquarters Branch Library is Wednesday, June 15, at 10 a.m. Preegistration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Soul City Sirens take on the Columbia Quad Squad Sunday, June 12, at 6 p.m. at Red Wing Rollerway. Tickets are $10 in advance or $15 at the door. Call 706-860-1548 or visit soulcitysirens.com.

Internet Safety with Sergeant Massey of the Columbia County Sheriff’s Department is Wednesday, June 15, at 2 p.m. at the Columbia County Library. Call 706-863-1946 or visit columbiacountyga.gov. Saturday Historic Trolley Tour, every Saturday, begins at the Museum of History and tours historic downtown Augusta from 1-3:15 p.m. Reservations required. All seats are $12. 706-724-4067.

Benefits

Karma Yoga is offered at Just Breathe Studio, downtown Aiken, each Friday at 10 a.m. and is free if participants bring a donation of a personal item which will be given to the Cumbee Center to Assist Abused Persons. Call 803-648-8048 or visit justbreathestudio.com.

Sports-Outdoors

Moonlight Music Cruise, featuring entertainment by The Crosstie Walkers, will be held Friday, June 10, at 7 p.m. $25 per seat. Call 706-823-0440 or visit augustacanal.com. The Augusta GreenJackets play the Lexington Legends Sunday, June 12, at 5:35 p.m. and Monday-Thursday, June 13-15, at 7:05 p.m. They play Asheville Tourists Thursday, June 16, at 7:05 p.m. All games are at Lake Olmstead Stadium. Tickets are $1-

Group Run begins each Tuesday at 5:30 p.m. at Nacho Mama’s. Three- and four-mile routes are available for all ages and abilities of runners. Call 706-414-4059 or email jim@enduranceconcepts.com. Thursday Night Chain Reaction Ride begins at 6 p.m. each Thursday at Patriots Park in Grovetown. For intermediate to fast-paced cyclists, who average 25-32 miles. Participants should bring their own water and helmet. Call 706-855-2024 or visit chainreactionbicycles.net. Riverview Disc Golf League meets each Thursday at 6 p.m. at Riverview Park in North Augusta. $5 entry fee and $1 ace pool. Call 803-2158181 or visit augustadiscgolf.com. Augusta Rugby Football Club is now in Sevens Rugby Seasons with practices each Wednesday from 6:30-8:30 p.m., with tournaments most weekends, at the Julian Smith Casino ballpark. New players are welcome. Email arj6402@ yahoo.com. Road Bike Ride meets each Thursday at 6:30 p.m. at Andy Jordan’s Bicycle Warehouse downtown for an approximately 25-mile ride at a moderate to fast pace. Front and rear lights, as well as a helmet, are required. Call 706-7246777 or visit andyjordans.com.

Wheelchair Tennis Clinic, presented by the Walton Foundation for Independence, meets each Monday at 6 p.m. (weather permitting) at The Club at Rae’s Creek. Free and open to the public. Call 706-826-5809 or email alsalley@ wrh.org. Augusta Canal Boat Tours lasting one hour are offered daily at 10 a.m., 11:30 a.m., 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m. Saturday Sunset Cruises, lasting three hours, are at 5 p.m. All tours include admission to the Augusta Canal Interpretive Center. Call 706-823-0440 or visit augustacanal.com.

Kids

Special Story Time at Pendleton King Park with Helen Blocker-Adams will be Thursday, June 9, at 10 a.m. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Sidewalk Art, a hands-on workshop for kids of all ages, is Thursday, June 9, at 10 a.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. Call 706-7366758 or visit ecgrl.org. Young Adult Film Class, in which participants will learn the basics of scripting and filming, is Thursday, June 9, at 4 p.m. at Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Magical Storyteller Chad Crews visits the Columbia County Library on Thursday, June 9, at 7 p.m. Call 706-8631946 or visit columbiacountyga.gov. Shawn Poppy: Reptile Show is Friday, June 10, at 9:30 a.m. at Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Origami Craft Day with Shirley Christie is Saturday, June 11, at 10 a.m. METRO SPIRIT 6.9.11 21

at Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

on Wednesday, June 15, at 10:30 a.m. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org.

“Around the World in 80 Days” Family Movie Matinee shows Saturday, June 11, at 2 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Retro Game Day for young adults is Wednesday, June 15, from 2-4 p.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Preregistration required. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org.

Teen Retro Game Night is Monday, June 13, at 6 p.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. Call 706-7366758 or visit ecgrl.org.

In My Backyard shows at USCAiken’s Dupont Planetarium Saturdays in June at 8 p.m. Visitors will learn how they can identify objects in the sky using the naked eye, binoculars and telescopes. Tickets are $4.50 for adults, $3.50 for seniors, $2.50 for 4K-12th grade students and $1 for USC-A students, faculty and staff. Call 803-641-3769 or visit usca. edu/rpsec/planetarium/.

Therapy Dogs is a program in which participants will learn about special pets with speaker Anne Sprinkle. It is Tuesday, June 14, at 10 a.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. Call 706-7366758 or visit ecgrl.org. Special Story Times at Pendleton King Park with K-9 Officer Gary will be Thursday, June 16, at 10 a.m. Call 706821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Pollution Solution is Saturday, June 11, from 10-11 a.m. at Reed Creek Wetlands Interpretive Center. For ages 7 and up. Free for members; $2 for non-members. Pre-registration required. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com. Away We Go Craft Workshop for ages 3-5 is Monday, June 13, at 3 p.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Preregistration required. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org. Eco-Talk with Savannah River Ecology Laboratory, a program where children ages 6-12 learn about the animals and habitats of the Central Savannah River Area, is at Diamond Lakes Branch Library on Tuesday, June 14, at 10 a.m. Call 706-722-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Sesame Street Live! 1-2-3 Imagine with Elmo and Friends is at the Bell Auditorium Tuesday, June 14, at 7 p.m. and Wednesday, June 15, at 10 a.m. and 7 p.m. $16$56. Call 706-722-3521 or visit augustaentertainmentcomplex.com.

Monday Movie Matinees at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library show at 2 p.m. throughout the summer. Participants may bring their own snacks. Call the library for a list of movies to be shown. No movies are scheduled on June 20 or July 4. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Less Than Two Minutes Film Contest for Young Adults is going on through Monday, July 18. Movies less than two minutes in length submitted by that deadline will be eligible for prizes and will be shown at the Diamond Lakes Library’s Less Than Two Minutes Film Festival on Monday, July 25, at 6 p.m. Prizes will be awarded for best of show, best of show runner-up, most innovative and fan favorite. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. World Capitals Guessing Game for kids is going on throughout the month of June at the Headquarters Branch Library. Winners will be announced on July 5. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Reptiles and Amphibians, presented by the Savannah River Ecology Lab, is Wednesday, June 15, at 10 a.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org.

Registration for Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art Summer Camps, for kids ages 5-11, is going on now. The camps, held at either the GHIA location downtown or at The Quest Church on Washington Road in Martinez, are held in one-week sessions beginning June 6. Afternoon camps at the GHIA’s downtown location, are offered the weeks of June 27, July 11 and July 18. Camps are $60 per week for members and $75 for non-members. Call 706-722-5495 or visit ghia.org.

Music with Manda is a children’s program at the Appleby Branch Library

Family Y Day Camps, at all area branches, run weekly thoughout the

22 METRO SPIRIT 6.9.11

summer. For ages 5-17, pre-registration is required for all camps, and a deposit of $15 per child per week is charged upon initial enrollment in a camp program. Register at any Family Y location or online at thefamilyy.org.

7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Summer Art Camps at the Aiken Center for the Arts, for those ages 4 and up, will be conducted weekly June 20 through July 25 and feature a different theme each week. Half-day and full-day programs available. $117$193.50 for members and $130-$215 for non-members. Pre-registration is going on now. Call 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org.

Silversneakers I is offered Mondays and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. and Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays at 11:15 a.m., while Silversneakers Yogastretch is offered Mondays and Wednesdays at 11:15 a.m. at the Weeks Center in Aiken. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Story Time at Diamond Lakes Branch Library, including books, stories, songs, games and more, is each Tuesday at 10 a.m. Pre-registration required for groups of six or more. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. The Augusta Arsenal Soccer Club Junior Academy, for boys and girls ages 5-8, meets each Thursday at 5:30 p.m. at the Augusta Soccer Park. Call 706-8540149 or visit augustasoccer.com. Toddler Time, free play for children ages 5 and under, is each Monday and Wednesday from 9:3011:30 a.m. at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Ceramics Class, for ages 14 and up, meets Mondays at 9 a.m. or 6 p.m., Tuesdays at 6 p.m. and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. in the Weeks Ceramics Center. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Wacky Wednesday Story Time is each Wednesday at 10 a.m. in the children’s department of Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall. Call 706-7370012 or visit bn.com. Homeschool Playgroup meets each Thursday at 10:30 a.m. at Creighton Park in North Augusta. Call 803-613-0484.

Seniors

Games for Seniors at the Weeks Center in Aiken include Rummikub each Thursday from 9 a.m.-noon, Mahjong each Thursday from 1-4 p.m., Bridge each Friday from 11:30 a.m.-3 p.m., Bingo each Tuesday at 9 a.m., Pinochle each Tuesday from 10:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m.; and Canasta on Tuesdays and Fridays from 11:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m. Call 803-642-

Line Dancing is each Tuesday at the Weeks Center in Aiken at 10 a.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Ceramics Class is offered at 9 a.m. on Mondays or Wednesdays and 6 p.m. on Mondays or Tuesdays at the Weeks Center. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Fit 4 Ever is offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken on Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays from 10-11 a.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Yoga I and II is offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays from 8:45-9:45 a.m. and on Mondays and Wednesdays from 5:30-6:30 p.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Hobbies

Augusta Genealogical Society meets every Monday, Wednesday and Saturday at 9 a.m. and Sundays from 2-5 p.m. at the society’s Adamson Library, 1109 Broad St. Free. Call 706-722-4073. Georgia-Carolina Toastmasters Meeting, for those who want to brush up on their public speaking skills, is every Wednesday at noon at the Cotton Patch downtown. Free. Call 803-593-6605. French Club meets each Thursday at 7 p.m. at Borders. Free. Call 706-737-6962.

Elsewhere

Modern By Design by MoMA shows through August at the High Museum of Art in Atlanta. Call 404-7334437 or visit high.org. If you would like to see your organization’s events listed in our calendar, please email Amy Christian at amy@themetrospirit.com. The deadline for each Thursday’s issue is the previous Friday at noon.

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METRO SPIRIT 6.9.11 23

THE

BOX TOPS

The Wolf Pack tops the Furious Five to give “The Hangover Part II” the win for the long, Memorial Day weekend. RANK TITLE

WEEKEND GROSS TOTAL GROSS

WEEK #

LAST WEEK

X-MEN: FIRST CLASS

$55,101,604

THE HANGOVER PART II

$31,381,234

$185,808,194

KUNG FU PANDA 2

$23,887,914

$100,028,372

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN $17,954,603

$190,200,800

BRIDESMAIDS

$107,167,230

$12,040,875

“X-Men: First Class” Sam Eifling Origins story provides fresh spin to superhero genre

Comic book movies of recent vintage have tended mercilessly toward the dreary and the dark, with mixed effect. Maybe that company helps make “X-Men: First Class” seem fresher and more engaging than it otherwise might. The latest in the X-Men series (which now counts a trilogy and two prequels since 2000) is both visually and viscerally the most gratifying of the lot so far. With an entire mythology already in place, it can endow the origin stories of Professor X and Magneto and the rest of the first wave of mutant heroes and villains with backstory, foreshadowing and inside jokes. “First Class” never lets you forget it’s a comic-book movie, but it does, at least, strive to be respected on its merits. Directing his fourth feature here is Matthew Vaughn, whose credits as a producer include the Guy Ritchie classics “Snatch” and “Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.” He paints the early 1960s in England, Vegas and the East Coast with layers of mod hip, a comingof-age tale set precisely when so many Baby Boomers came of age (you’ve never

seen a comic-book movie with cooler furniture). We find a young Charles Xavier (James McAvoy) graduating from Oxford having completed his thesis on, what else, mutations. That’s how CIA agent Moira McTaggert (Rose Byrne) tracks him down: She has cloak-and-daggered her way into a criminal element that is unmistakably mutant. A former Nazi collaborator named Shaw (Kevin Bacon) and a trio of mutants known as the Hellfire Club are plotting to spark a nuclear war between the United States and the Soviet Union. Shaw happens also to have been the person most responsible for the development, under terrible duress, of Erik Lensherr (Michael Fassbender), whose powers to manipulate and move metal will eventually earn him the moniker Magneto. But in 1962, Erik is just a rogue mutant bent on extracting revenge from Shaw, and Charles — the future Professor X — is a CIA conscript doing his best to lead his fellow mutants and persuade Erik not to succumb to his demons. The tension between Charles and Erik

is laced with the knowledge that we’re watching the future hero and villain mold one another as uneasy colleagues. The characters are so well established in other X-Men pictures (and by established actors Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan) that it’s refreshing, almost subversive, to watch Charles exercising his pick-up lines at the campus pub, or to see Erik learning to control his considerable powers. There’s a sensual edge that all the X-Men movies have touched on, in one way or another. Mutations correspond highly with the travails of puberty, with changing bodies and fear of rejection; no one faces this more keenly than the shapeshifting Raven, a.k.a. Mystique, played here with a touch of sadness by Jennifer Lawrence. Watching these X-Kids work toward their X-Manhood is like finding

old faded snapshots of your parents, back when they were young and free and cool. The pace stays jaunty enough that even some fiercely intense scenes of action and violence can’t suppress the sense of fun that permeates it. The caveat that comes with that is, it’s likely that most parents would consider the film a bit advanced for small children. There’s a great deal of fighting, which comes with the territory, but one siege scene in particular contains a disturbing quantity of deaths in rapid succession. Combined with a fairly constant use of subtitles to convey all the German, Russian and Spanish that makes its way into the film, you might call the movie a bit serious — dark, even? — for the youngest X-Men fans.

MOVIE REVIEW 24 METRO SPIRIT 6.9.11

THE8ERS

Opening Friday, June 3

Going to the movies this weekend? Here’s what’s playing.

Sci-Fi “Super 8,” rated PG-13, starring Elle Fanning, Kyle Chandler. Add together writer-director J.J. Abrams (“Cloverfied,” “Fringe”) and Steven Spielberg (“Jaws,” “ET: The Extraterrestrial,”) and what do you get? A match made in geek heaven. The title refers to a movie a group of friends are making when they witness a train crash that sets off a serious of mysterious events.

Family “Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer,” rated PG, starring Heather Graham. Based on the best-selling children’s books, third grader Judy Moody aims to have the best summer ever hanging out with her cool Aunt Opal. Better watch out, Judy: We’ve seen some of the other movies Aunt Opal has made.

The Big Mo thebigmo.com June 10-11 Main Field: Kung Fu Panda 2 (PG) and Super 8 (PG-13); Screen 2: X-Men: First Class (PG-13) and Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (PG-13); Screen 3: The Hangover Part II (R) and Bridesmaids (R) Gates open at 6:30 p.m.; movies start at approximately 9 p.m.

Masters 7 Cinemas georgiatheatrecompany.com

D N ME

M O EC

“The Fiendish Plot of Dr. Fu Manchu” The first time I rented this was about 15 years ago. I think we rented it as a joke. What kind of name is that? Well, the opening scene reveals that Dr. Fu Manchu is about 168 years old and that to continue living he must drink the elixir vitae which is his life extender. Except some ninja put out a fire with his dose and he has to duplicate the ingredients. This sets the stage but then the movie takes a turn to stealing diamonds. It was years before I actually saw the ending. I could only find the movie at the movie gallery in North Augusta and the tape would cut off at the hot air balloon part somewhat near the end, but we would continue renting it because of the awesomeness leading up to that point. — Shane Thompson

June 10-11 Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil (PG) 12:50, 3, 5:15, 7:40, 9:55: Prom (PG) 1, 3:50, 7:20, 9:45; Water for Elephants (PG-13) 1:20, 4, 6:40, 9:25; Rio The Movie (G) 1:30, 4:10, 7, 9:30; Hop (PG) 1:10, 4:30; Source Code (PG-13) 1:50, 4:45, 7:30, 9:50; Limitless (PG-13) 7:10, 9:35; Rango (PG) 1:40, 4:20, 6:50, 9:40

Regal Augusta Exchange regmovies.com June 10-11 Super 8 (PG-13) 11, 11:30, noon, 12:30, 1:40, 2:10, 2:40, 3:10, 4:20, 4:50, 5:20, 5:50, 7, 7:30, 8, 8:30, 9:40, 10:10, 10:40, 11:50, 12:20; Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer (PG) 11:10, 1:25, 3:40, 7:10, 9:25, 11:40; X-Men: First Class (PG-13) 11:15, 11:45, 12:15, 12:45, 2:15, 2:45, 3:15, 4:15, 5:15, 5:45, 7:15, 7:45, 8:15, 8:45, 9:45, 10:15, 10:45, 11:15, 11:45; The Hangover Part II (R) 12:45, 1:45, 4:35, 5:05, 7:05, 7:35, 9:35, 10:05,

12:05; Kung Fu Panda 2 (PG) 11:05, 11:35, 1:30, 2, 3:45, 4:25, 7:05, 7:35, 9:30, 10, 11:55, 12:15; Midnight in Paris (PG-13) 11:20, 1:50, 4:40, 7:15, 9:50, 12:15; Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (PG-13) 12:20, 12:55, 4:05, 4:35, 7:10, 7:40, 10:20, 10:40; Bridesmaids (R) 12:10, 4:30, 7:25, 10:30; Jumping the Broom (PG-13) 12:40, 4:55, 7:50, 10:35; Thor (PG-13) 12:50, 4:10, 7:20, 10:10; Fast Five (PG13) 12:05, 4, 7

Evans Stadium Cinemas georgiatheatrecompany.com June 10-11 Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer (PG) 12:10, 2:35, 5, 7:30, 9:45; Super 8 (PG-13) 12:30, 1:30, 3:30, 4:30, 6:30, 7:15, 9:10, 10; X-Men: First Class (PG-13) Noon, 1, 2:45, 4, 5:30, 7, 8:30, 9:50; The Hangover Part II (R) Noon, 2:25, 4:50, 7:25, 10; Kung Fu Panda 2 (PG) Noon, 12:45, 2:15, 3:05, 4:40, 5:20, 6:55, 7:40, 9:55; Midnight in Paris (PG-13) 12:20, 2:55, 5:10, 7:35, 9:55; Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (PG-13) 12:50, 3:50, 6:50, 9:45; Bridesmaids (R) 12:40, 3:40, 6:40, 9:35; Jumping the Broom (PG-13) 1:20, 4:20, 7:20, 10; Something Borrowed (PG-13) 1:10, 4:10, 7:05, 9:40; Thor (PG-13) 9:20; Fast Five (PG-13) 12:55, 3:45, 6:45, 9:50

METRO SPIRIT 6.9.11 25

ART

Amy Christian

Two Views

Davidson writers and photographers pair up to create dual views of diverse subjects

Pick out an object right in front of you. Now close your left eye. Quick... open your left eye and close your right. Repeat several more times. See the object move? Remember that game from childhood? That disparity in the object’s position has a name: Parallax, which is also the name of a Davidson Fine Arts Magnet School student publication. Offering two different views of the same subject, Parallax is the culmination of a year-long project that paired photography students and writers. The photographers took the pictures (of course) and wrote a rough draft of a story to go along with the pictures. The writers edited the photographers’ stories, wrote and introductory paragraph, interviewed the photographers and created an original piece of poetry inspired by the collaboration. The idea came to Davidson photography and visual arts teacher Debbie Brown from an assignment she gave a student to take photographs of a subject and write an accompanying story. “She came up with this amazing story,” Brown remembers. “As a photography teacher, I was drawn to the photography, but it seemed like a good story to me so I took it to Nancy.” Nancy Sladky teaches English literature and creative writing and Davidson an is the faculty advisor for The Ampersand, the school’s literary magazine. She agreed with Brown about the quality of the story and the two came up with the idea for what was to become Parallax. After receiving an ACE Award from the Junior League of Augusta, a grant for $500 given to teachers who present ideas for new and innovative projects, the two teachers realized they could make the project happen and print 100 copies without having to worry about raising money. The only thing they had to worry about was getting students involved. For Brown, it was easy; she made it a class project. Sladky, however, relied on volunteer writers and editors. “And they loved it,” she said. “They

26 METRO SPIRIT 6.9.11

Spirital Rez

worked after school.” “And on a couple of Saturdays,” added Lyndsey Willcox, Parallax editor and the writer who worked with Erin Garrett on the two stories the photographer submitted. Willcox, a rising junior, had worked on The Ampersand, but this was her first experience helming a project on her own. The two experiences, she said were very different. “Us the writers, or we the writers, came in we really were just editing mostly,” she said of working on Parallax. “We didn’t want the stories to be ours. We wanted them to the be the photographers because they were so personal to them.” Erin Garrett’s stories, many who worked on the project agree, were the most personal. One story is about Feathered Friends Forever, an exotic bird sanctuary in Harlem that is the largest in the nation. The other is about those who go in a clean up houses after the previous homeowners have been evicted. Garrett’s father is one of those people and her family often helps. “That story really brought out the sadness in the situation,” Sladky said. “She was really able to capture that. Even the pictures captured the sadness.” For Garrett, the project way a way to give readers a glimpse into a world they might not know exists. “Not a lot of people know about it,” she said of her dad’s job as a mortgage company field service worker. “It’s just

one of those jobs. It’s kind of gross and nasty cleaning up after everybody, but it’s also kind of interesting. Some of the houses are really pretty if they haven’t been trashed.” Garrett is one of the few photography students at Davidson who hasn’t converted to the digital medium. “It’s so much fun, and you really get attached to your pictures. It’s not like digital,” she said. “With film, you set it up and then you take it and then you have to develop the film, mix all the chemicals and enlarge it in the darkroom. There’s so much more to it and it’s so much more fun. You really know the picture by the time you’re through.” For the cover of the publication they looked to photographer Alix Walburn, who had also created the cover for The Ampersand. Since Parallax was a photojournalism publication, Walburn said the cover subject was a no brainer. “I have this 100-year-old camera in my house that I bought about a year ago. It’s one of my prized possessions,” she said. “I love the way it looks and I hadn’t had a chance to do anything with it, so I set up a mini studio in my house with some large drawing paper and experimented with different dramatic lighting. I took several and put it up for a vote.” Despite the stress of the last week before Parallax went to press (“There was lots of running back and forth to the art building,” Willcox remembered), the publication came in $18 under budget.

And because of the premier issue’s success, plans are currently underway for a second edition next year. “The exciting thing with The Ampersand and with Parallax, too, is every year we get better,” Sladky said. “Every year I think, ‘How are we going to top this?’” Knowing these students, they’ll find a way. <<italics>>For more information on obtaining a copy of Parallax, $3, or The Ampersand, $5, call Davidson Fine Arts Magnet School at 706-823-6924 or visit davidsonfinearts.org.<<italics>>

z &

A Live Kicking

Reggae inspired band Spiritual Rez delivers the dance party

Spirital Rez

[Missouri]... which is quite a little drive,” Willingham said. “But it’s summertime, and you end up doing longer drives to go to festivals. But usually we try and keep the drives to under five hours.” No such luck between Missouri and Augusta, during which time they’ll hit the Wakarusa festival in Arkansas. From there, they visit Alabama before heading to Georgia. Fans of Spiritual Rez’s live shows, however, would agree that all that traveling is worth it. In fact, Willingham said the band’s next release, which he hopes will be out by the beginning of next year, will be a live one. “Because that’s really the only way to capture the live essence,” he explained. Instead of choosing whether the studio release or the live experience is better, Willingham suggests a compromise: a little of both. “The studio release is the essence of the song. It’s a great thing to listen to but it’s not like going to the live show and being wowed by the dance party experience,” he said. “So the way to experience it is live, but you should listen to the studio release so you can at least know some of the songs.”

It’s probably not surprising that six guys who play a blend of reggae, funk, Afrobeat and rock, and whose live shows have been called an all-out dance party, could be safely be labeled as laid back. What might be a little more suprising is that the members of Boston’s Spiritual Rez all attended the wellknown Berklee College of Music. “You know, I think you can say we’re all educated musicians,” laughed Toft Willingham, guitarist and lead vocalist for Spiritual Rez. Members of the band — also including Van Gordon Martin on lead guitar and vocals, Jesse Shaternick on bass, Ian Miller on drums, Kory Stanbury on sax and Bryan House on trombone — met while attending Berklee, a school whose goal is to prepare students for careers by studying contemporary music. Willingham said they bonded over their shared love of reggae. “Oh, we just became friends and discovered each others’ talents and started jamming,” he said. “And then it turned into this crazy thing that’s become our living.” That was in 2002. Since then, they’ve won the 2007 Boston Music Award for Best World Music Act and released an album called “The Nexus.” Oh, yeah; and they’ve toured. A lot. “I’m currently piloting a vessel. We’re coming from Asheville [North Carolina] and going to St. Louis

Spiritual Rez Surrey Tavern Friday, June 10 10 p.m. $5 spiritualrez.com

METRO SPIRIT 6.9.11 27

JENNY is WRIGHT Two Drunks Follow Me Into the Grocery Store... I love this time of year. We aren’t really a winter sport family. Although The Man would prefer the mountains, I love the beach, the pool, the heat and everything else that comes with spring, summer and even early fall in Georgia. Also, The Kids are out of school for the summer. The biggest decision we make each day is whether to go to the pool or not. I actually enjoy having The Kids around. They are funny, kind, smart, cuddly and entertaining. However, like any other siblings, they fight and drive me crazy. A kidless friend once said that having children in tow is like having drunk friends follow you around at all times. I don’t think he could be more correct. Kids are slow. Like molasses. They shuffle along at a snail’s pace, oblivious to passersby. Going to the grocery store with them takes

three times longer than if I’m alone. Waiting for them to get ready for school in the morning is often painful. Dinner? Excruciating. Why does it take them an hour to eat five more bites of broccoli? Just eat already. Speaking of slow, going to the bathroom takes forever. They have to go often and when in said bathroom they like to talk really loudly. It’s inevitable that The Girl will announce our every move to a crowd in the Target bathroom. Kids don’t really listen and, when they do, comprehension is spotty at best. Today we went to pick up The Kids’ swim team suits at Augusta Swim Supply. They’d been asking about these suits on a daily basis (we just ordered the damn things three days ago) and were especially excited about these monogrammed swim bags that were due to arrive. I told The Boy several times what we were

doing and not only did he ask me (twice) where we were going but was completely surprised when we pulled into the store’s gravel parking lot. They are often impossible to reason with. Have you ever noticed that “in a minute” is usually translated as “no never” by anyone under the age of 10? They laugh at the dumbest things. Once, while telling The Girl to button her jacket, she and The Boy cracked themselves up because I said “butt.” Listening to them tell knock-knock jokes is painful, especially when they make up their own. Knock-knock.

sightings Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Gloria Norwood, Lori Davis and Derek Dugan at the Celebrating Historic Partnerships and Making Historical Progress Reception at the Ezekiel Harris House

28 METRO SPIRIT 6.9.11

Debbie Banks with The Wall Street Journal Columnist and author Jef frey Zaslow and Jef f Banks at University Hospital’s Annual Celebration of Life Luncheon at Augusta

Chris Calif f, Jenna Martin and Drew Laudrum at the Mudbugabeaux N Brew in the Augusta Commons

Who’s there? Sleepy. Sleepy who? Sleepy potty. NO. They are messy. Even when given an entire roll of paper towels, they will inevitably use their shirt. It’s like a reflex or something. We have a 75 percent spill rate, which is why I usually start each meal with “don’t

spill your milk!” They don’t have a filter. A few months ago while grocery shopping in Daniel Village, The Girl asked a woman why she hadn’t brushed her teeth when she was little — she was missing a few. The lady was mortified and The Girl continued to lecture

her on the importance of good dental hygiene. It’s usually innocent, but that doesn’t make it any less embarrassing. But intoxicated people aren’t always frustrating. They love to sing, dance and hug. They say “I love you” freely and often. They’re also quite frequently the life of the party.

Jenny Wright lives in Summerville with her husband, who she calls The Man, and two kids, who she affectionately calls The Boy and The Girl). She enjoys taking photos, cooking and playing tennis

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Gabriel Cruz, Alethea Bradley, Chelsea Ronemous and Brody Giger at the Augusta Tattoo convention at the James Brown Arena

Ronnie Milsap guitarist Jamie Brantley with Jonathan Karow and Grammy winning musician Brad Davis at Rock Bottom Music Guitar Clinic

Amanda Brehm, Brice Wyatt, Amanda Ness and Melody Saldivar at the Mudbugabeaux N Brew in the Augusta Commons

METRO SPIRIT 6.9.11 29

CUISINE SCENE

Lifelong passion

For Roux’s Catering Owner Robert Williams, cooking is what he was meant to do

Up until recently, Robert Williams thought it was completely normal for a fchild to cook dinner for his family and host dinner parties for his parents’ friends. “I didn’t think there was anything odd about that,” he says with a smile. “But when I had kids that were in the fourth grade, I realized that my childhood was a little bit unusual.” Williams, who now owns Roux’s Catering and the Marbury Center downtown, says being in the kitchen is where he’s feels most at home and it’s been that way all his life. “It’s probably the only thing I ever wanted to do,” he says of cooking. “Some of the earliest memories I have are being in the kitchen with my grandmothers or my grandfather or my mother or father cooking. I was doing dinner parties with friends of my parents and my grandparents as early as third, fourth grade. I did prom dinner for my brother.” These dinners didn’t consist of corn dogs and mac and cheese, either. “I can even remember the menu,” Williams says of one particular dinner. “It was pepper-seared beef tenderloin with a green peppercorn sauce, roasted asparagus and mashed potatoes. It was for a date night for a couple who were friends of my parents.” Check out the name of his company, as well as menu items like blackened chicken with Creole sauce and dirty rice and you might just think that Williams is a Louisiana native. He admits a fondness

for that particular area of the country (“I crave New Orleans’ food between visits,” he admits), but says he’s Augusta born and bred, someone who remembers his grandparents’ businesses downtown before the great migration to suburban malls. “And my father grew up downtown; they lived just off Broad Street,” he says. “It feels very much like home being down here.” Roux’s started 15 years ago in west Augusta but, three year later, moved downtown to a building that was a turnof-the-century fire station. “I think that particular structure was finished in the early 1900s or the late 1800s,” Williams says. “It was a living, breathing fire department I think until the 1970s. With the renovations, we wanted to keep as much of the feel of the original space as we could. We didn’t want people to forget that they were in an old fire station.” Williams says he gets many catering gigs because of people who have a personal connection to the old fire station. Many others come to him because of the space’s outdoor courtyard. “There are not many companies that have a useable outside space that’s still connected to the facility,” Williams noted. Another advantage is that Roux’s is a full-service catering company. Not only do they have the facility, but they can help wedding parties and corporate clients contract with flower, tableware

Dr. Ricardo and Cindy Azziz with Madeline and Judge Dudley Bowen Jr. at Historic Augusta’s Cotton Ball in the home of Dr. and Mrs. Greg Gay

30 METRO SPIRIT 6.9.11

and even wedding cake vendors. “We can help with as many of the details as possible,” he explains. “We just contract with a lot of other vendors for that.” Then there’s the food. Roux’s prides itself on its variety, with guests able to choose Southwest options

Katie Duncan , Ashley Hock Smith and Michael Sentz at Historic Augusta’s Cotton Ball in the home of Dr. and Mrs. Greg Gay

like the smoked chicken quesadillas, Tuscan dishes such as the chicken pesto pasta and Asian hors d’oeuvres such as the sesame-ginger chicken sticks. Williams says by far their most popular offering are from the Southern traditional flavors menu, which includes offering like a shrimp and grits bar, Carolina

Dickey and Julie Ann Boardman with Angela and Luca Bovalino at Historic Augusta’s Cotton Ball in the home of Dr. and Mrs. Greg Gay

crabcakes, Lowcountry steamed shrimp, bourbon and brown sugar glazed ham and praline-crusted baked brie. “All those are, to me, just flavors I grew up with. They’re great, Southernstyle hors d’oeuvres,” he says. I try to, with our Southern flavors menu, be as authentic as I can. I try to do things the way I remember them being made when I was growing up.” All of these items are hugely popular for the social catering gigs that make up about 55 percent of his business, Williams says. Corporate catering makes up the other 45 percent and, for those clients, sandwiches and salads are more popular. Roux’s is, in fact, in the process of rolling out a new menu for those clients which will include offerings such as a Carolina crab cake BLT and a Carolina Cobb Salad that includes barbecue chicken and cornbread croutons. “I do want people to know that we are not just a wedding catering company. Corporate lunch business makes up a huge part of our day-to-day operations. I don’t want people to think that the only reason they should call us ifs if they have a daughter getting married.” Another good reason to call Roux’s is their Get and Go menu, which allows customers to call in orders for some of the company’s more popular items to pick up. The inspiration for many of the unique dishes found on Roux’s menu comes from the travels Williams and his wife, Natalie, take during the year. “Travel is a very important part of what we do in finding inspiration,” he says. “It’s hard to live in a bubble. Travel is a big part of keeping things fresh to me.” New Orleans, of course, is one of Williams’ favorite places, as is Northern California, the Pacific Northwest, New York and one place that might surprise people. “The Texas area has been a big inspiration to me, the Austin area in particular,” he says. “Austin is almost

like the Asheville of Texas. It’s hip, trendy and even a little liberal. It’s a great place to spend a little bit of time and I’ve just been slapped in the face with the flavors there.” Williams says that, once back at home, Master’s Week is the perfect opportunity to put that inspiration to work. The international clientele he serves during that week at the Lodge on Heath hospitality house he owns allows Williams and his staff the chance to “Roux-ify” (“Or, as the kitchen says, roux it up a bit,” he say) things more than they would normally be able to do. “It’s like you’ve given people a golden ticket to the chocolate factory,” he says of Master’s patrons. “They’re so excited to be here that you can’t help but get excited with them. For us it’s an opportunity to do things that we don’t get to do for the rest of the year. It’s somewhat refreshing for us.” Refreshing and exhausting at the same time, Williams adds, estimating that he and his staff work somewhere between 90 and 120 hours that week. “We’ll run from four o’clock in the morning to midnight, and it takes a lot of people to make it happen,” he says. “I’m just one small piece of the puzzle. We’ve got a lot of dedicated people that are really the guts behind it all.” And while Williams says he’s usually the brains behind the operation, focusing on the business part of Roux’s Catering, he personally enjoys that week because it allows him to focus on the one thing he’s always loved. “I like to cook... my passion is cooking,” Williams says. “Master’s Week is an opportunity to spend more time in the kitchen. It gets me out of the office for a week. It’s almost a cooking vacation for me.”

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YOU’LL GET THROUGH THIS By Jeremy Newton & Tony Orbach / Edited by Will Shortz

Note: The grid represents a maze. Enter the room at the upper left and exit at the lower right, following a path that will become apparent as you solve the crossword. When the puzzle is done, read the circled letters in the order in which the rooms are visited to spell a quote by 153-Across. 1

29 32

34 42

100

105

106

111

112

121 122 123 124

101

102

103

107

108

116 117 118

125

126

109

119

120 127

130

131 132 133 134

147

148

149

150

151

152

153

Capital of Zaire? Suffix on fruit names Exceptionally Santa ___

110 114

146

S W A K

113

142

F A T W A

104

141

L Y E S

136 137 138 139 140

I N D I A T H A P R O N H E P A I N E D D S

115

D E R B S N A R L E D A R I G R G O A Y O S B E L H A Y D R E B A A R I T T C P R S O U P D E R R S D I O M B I C E N O T O F H I D R E M E A N E

135

P A I T N E A D R E Y P E N N N D W

129

A C T U S A U N S U B T S E I F E T E O R O R I P L A E S O G H O S A A H A N I D I L E N T S A T I R E A

128

137 138 139 140

86 89

31 35

143 144 145

143 Apathetic reactions 144 Hit 2011 animated film 145 Place to buy tkts.

Y E P A B C A H S I E N A S K E N A I C K G E A R P S E S D J S

B O R O G O V E S

O N I O N

S C O P E

E A T M B E L U B E L S T Y S N O E C A K L O

I R A T E E L M S T R E E T

O M U E T I C R A Y M E B B T O R S I Y C A A R R E E N C S O Y L A G A L A W E W K N A S E S A H T

I T S M E

C R O S S

B O N E S

M U G S Y

N O T E R R A T I O N B U D C I P E A S E S D I D O S Z I N E V A T J O S H U R L D C A T G E N T E S T Y

answers

147 Chair toted on poles 148 It rarely has more than one part 149 Walloped 150 It rolls on a Rolls 151 “I’m outta here!” 152 Compatriot 153 [See blurb] DOWN 1 Argument ender 2 A, in Amiens 3 Actress Gardner 4 “The original sneaker” sloganeer 5 Carrier to Ben-Gurion 6 Parks in a bus 7 Neuter 8 Brie exterior 9 Hold ’em declaration 10 Less sophisticated 11 Treat in Torino 12 Repeating heart monitor sound 13 Musician Brian 14 Fan setting 15 Rewrite history, in a way 16 Photog’s choice 17 Fifth-century pope 18 UPS drop-off site, often 19 Emilio of fashion 20 Hockey fake-outs 32 Portable cutter 33 Italian appetizer, literally “little toasts” 34 All-weather resort amenity 36 Run, as an exhibit 37 Literary duelist 38 Unexpressed 39 Hush-hush powwow 42 UV index monitor 43 Light in a floodlight 44 Macy’s logo feature 45 One in a line at J.F.K. or La Guardia 47 Rules, quickly 51 Country that disappeared in ’91 52 How-to unit 53 Seinfeld vis-à-vis Kramer 54 Author Tan and others 57 Noel starter 58 ___ Minor 59 Cast 63 Actress Ward 70 Gossipy Smith 77 Practiced actively 78 Some of them are turnoffs: Abbr. 79 “We’ve waited long enough!” 80 Pushed (aside) 81 Satisfying 82 Headaches 83 Do, by all accounts 84 Touch 85 Keeping under glass, e.g. 86 Muslim trek 87 Missouri River native 89 Involuntary extension of troop tours 90 Pueblo vessel 91 Its winner beats the loser with a stick 92 Lid problem 93 Bygone missile with a tribal name 94 Literary paradise 95 Mark 96 Colosseum entrance, e.g. 101 Blue-green 109 Go after 116 Daily talk show beginning in 2005 117 Unprincipled 118 Harsh pronouncement from a judge 121 Pub order 122 “Whoopee!” 123 Happen again 124 Niño producer 130 Nimble 131 Tennis’s Arthur 132 Filtered stuff 133 Home to the sport of hurling 134 P.O. box, e.g. 136 Pre-C.I.A. grp.

previous week’s

ACROSS 1 Herbert Hoover and Richard Nixon, e.g. 8 Go canvassing, say 12 Partner of whistles 17 Cop squad in “Monk”: Abbr. 21 Surround 22 “Dies ___” 23 How olives may be packed 24 “Can’t argue there” 25 Done for, finito, kaput 26 Execute perfectly 27 Auto security feature 28 Canal part 29 Knock off 30 Demander of special treatment 31 Suffix with exist 32 Univ., e.g. 35 Firmed up 36 Course after trig 40 Singer Redding 41 Is for you? 42 Pull in 46 Back on the ranch? 47 Backwoods 48 Drag wrap 49 Elands, to lions 50 Muse for Whitman 51 Sen. McCain’s alma mater 55 Superlative suffix 56 “Hells Bells” band 57 Some fun in the sun 60 Petty manipulations 61 Spring (from) 62 Parade paths: Abbr. 64 W.W. II beach craft 65 ___-Magnon 66 Author R. L. ___ 67 Hot 68 Mashed, e.g. 69 Dazed and confused 71 Cornerstone abbr. 72 What sgts. turn in at HQ’s 73 Shrub used in dyeing 74 Some Nissan cars 75 Teaser on party fliers 76 Cherish 77 Light reflector 82 Diminish 86 Show a bit of courtesy (for) 88 Unwrap 89 Runs (around), informally 93 Nothin’ 97 Under debate 98 Quite a tale 99 Bajillions 100 Turn away 102 Java 103 Mine blower 104 Creator of Genesis 105 Surfeit 106 Secretary of state under Carter 107 One of TV’s Clampetts 108 Suffix with senior 110 Pre-sneeze sounds 111 Moolah 112 Parting of the Pacific? 113 It may be touch-screen 114 Diamond stat 115 Hilton or Westin welcomer 116 “Holy mackerel!” 119 Cusp 120 Bajillion 121 Rice pad 125 Linear, for short 126 I love, to Luis 127 Assn. 128 Funny Caroline 129 Sticks up 131 Off the shore 135 Opening letters 136 Conductor in a white turtleneck 141 Burrowing arthropods 142 Classic Alfa Romeo roadsters 146 Chrysler 300, e.g.

METRO SPIRIT 6.9.11 33

free will Rob Brezsny

a s t r o l o g y freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

Primatologist Jane Goodall, who lived for years among chimpanzees in Tanzania, is one of the world’s top experts on the creatures. Can you guess what her favorite toy was when she was young? A stuffed monkey. There were no doubt foreshadowings like that in your own childhood or adolescence, signs of the magic you would eventually seek to ripen. Now would be a good time to reflect on those early hints. You’ll benefit from updating your understanding of and commitment to the capacities they revealed.

Lovetron, a place where he perfected his interplanetary funkmanship. He also liked to give names to his slam dunks. The “Turbo Sexophonic Delight” was a favorite, but the best was his “ChocolateThunder-Flying, Teeth-Shaking, GlassBreaking, Rump-Roasting, Bun-Toasting, Wham-Bam-I-Am Jam.” Try some Darryl Dawkins-like behavior in your own chosen field. Give a name to your signature move or your special play. Let people know how much you love what you do and how good you are at what you do. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

After all these years, the American presidential election of 2000 still makes me cringe. Because of the archaic laws governing the process, the candidate who “lost” the election actually got 543,895 more votes than the guy who “won.” How could anyone in good conscience, even those who supported the less-popular “winner,” have sanctioned such a result? I’d say the same thing if the roles had been reversed, and Gore had become president with a half-million fewer votes than Bush. You must not let something comparable to this anomaly happen in your personal life. It is crucial that every winner be the one who deserves to be. Don’t sacrifice what’s right in order to serve corrupt protocol or outmoded conventions. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

I dreamed you had been tending an unusual garden for months. Your crops weren’t herbs, flowers or vegetables, but rather miniature volcanoes. Each was now ripe and stood about waist-high. They erupted with a steady flow of liquid blue fire that you were harvesting in large gold cups. You sipped some of the potion yourself and distributed the rest to a large gathering of enthusiastic people who had come to imbibe your tasty medicine. The mood was festive, and you were radiant. This dream of mine is a good metaphor for your life in the immediate future. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Darryl Dawkins played professional basketball from 1975 to 1996. One of the sport’s more colorful personalities, he said he lived part-time on the planet

34 METRO SPIRIT 6.9.11

According to research published in “The Journal of Personality,” many college students prefer ego strokes to sex. In the near future, it’s important that you not act like one of these self-esteemstarved wimps. You need the emotional and physical catharsis that can come from erotic union and other sources of pleasurable intensity far more than you need to have your pride propped up. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

An uncanny stretching sensation will soon be upon you if it’s not already. Whether you’re prepared or not, you will be asked, prodded and maybe even compelled to expand. It could feel stressful or exhilarating or both. And it will probably force you to rethink your fascination with anyone or anything you love to hate. Don’t resist the elongation and enlargement. As the odd magic unfolds, it will increase your capacity for taking advantage of paradox. It may also give you a surprising power to harness the energy released by the friction between oppositional forces. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

You’re in a phase when you’re likely to be as attractive, endearing and in demand as is possible. Your physical appearance will be extra appealing, and you’ll have an instinct for highlighting the most winsome aspects of your personality. To help you take advantage of the potential that’s now available, please add the following word to your vocabulary: “concupiscible,” which means “worthy of being desired.” CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Nicolas Cage is a Capricorn. While performing his film roles, he often loses his composure, affording him a great deal of emotional release. Let’s hypothesize that, like Cage, you could benefit from expressing the hell out of yourself without causing any mayhem. Is there a cork-lined sanctuary where you could go and safely unveil explosions of extreme emotions? Or some equivalent? AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

You’d be wise to assign yourself an errand in the wilderness. The precise nature of the errand has not been revealed to me, but I suspect it involves you going to an untamed place whose provocative magic will tangibly alter your consciousness, awakening you to some truth about your destiny that you’ve been unable to decipher. I also believe your task is more likely to succeed if you create a small, whimsical shrine there. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

Do you have any idea of how many of your diapers your mother changed when you were a baby? It was almost certainly over 1,000. Have you ever calculated how many meals she prepared for you? That number probably exceeds 10,000. While we’re on the subject, do you remember who taught you to read and write? Can you visualize the face of the first person besides your parents who made you feel interesting, well-loved or real? I encourage you to follow this line of thought as far as you can. It’s a perfect time to visualize memories of specific times you’ve been well cared for and thoroughly blessed.

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

You have license and permission to be extra cute in the coming week. You have a divine mandate to exceed the usual levels of being adorable, charming and delectable. Here’s the potential problem: Trying to be cute doesn’t usually result in becoming cuter; often it leads to being smarmy and pretentious. So how can you take advantage of the cosmic imperative to be wildly, extravagantly, sublimely cute — without getting all selfconscious about it? TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

It would be an excellent week for you to declare war on everything that wastes your time. Well, maybe “declaring war” is not quite the right spirit to adopt; after all, we don’t want you to go around constantly enraged and hostile. It’s prime time for you to ingeniously and relentlessly elude all activities, invitations, temptations, trains of thought and habits that offer you nothing in return for the precious energy you give to them. Of course this is always a worthy project, but you’re likely to achieve far more progress than usual if you do it now.

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photography: jWhite illustration: Gabe Vega METRO SPIRIT 6.9.11 35

THE HILL 01 02 03 04

Surrey Tavern - the original neighborhood bar

The Vue - upscale dance club w/ occasional bands Sheehan’s Irish Pub

05 06 07

Club Argos - LGBT

Crums on Central - live jazz on weekends Helga’s - Med Student heaven

Verandah Grill at the Partridge Inn - Augusta’s best balcony

MONTE SANO

WALTON W

MIL LED

AVE

GE R

01 02

HIGHLAND

AVE

The Hill

CENTRAL AVE

WRIGHT

SBORO R

DOWNTOWN 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08

The Highlander - real Bristish pub

Frog Hollow Tavern - upscale restaurant & bar / locally sourced Tropicabana - salsa. no chips. Pizza Joint - 40 beers on tap and slices Mellow Mushroom - plus full bar Sky City - large music venue Firehouse - proud downtown dive 1102 - block deep restaurant & bar

36 METRO SPIRIT 6.9.11

09 10 11 12 13 14 15 16

Metro Coffee House - coffee, beer, liquor, people Soultry Sounds - jazz club Soul Bar - pure fink Playground - rock-n-roll

Stillwater Taproom - blugrass before bluegrass was cool Wheels - cool & on the corner The Loft - liquor with attitude Bar on Broad - contemporary South Beach vibe

17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24

Joe’s Underground - live music underneath Broad St. Cotton Patch - eat, drink, be happy

25 26

Club Rehab - upscale sportsbar Casablanca

Cafe 209 - soul food & lounge Tipsy McStumbles - confess later Sector 7G laundromat turned landmark Blue Horse Bistro jazz tapas The Sportsman - old school pool hall and burgers Fox’s Lair - coolest bar in America

XXX 26 27 28

The Joker Lounge girls dancing nightly Fantasy Showgirls girls dancing nightly Discoteque girls dancing nightly

LOOKING FOR

SOMETHING

TO DO TONIGHT? Downtown

Joe’s Underground Mama Says Friday

13T

H ST

18 19 13 26

15 16

17 BR OAD

12T H

m rvoo p a T ater iners Stillw elfare L y W Frida

20 GR

22 26

23 27

14 25

11 12

05 06 07 08

5TH

OLD

METRO SPIRIT 6.9.11 37

BOBBY JONES

GTO

IN ASH

WAL TON

JO BY BOB

WAY

NES

Bobby Jones

01 02 03 04

Sidetrack Bar & Grill - by the railroad tracks Carolina Ale House - sports themed restuarant / feat. outdoor covered bar Limelite Cafe - extensive beer selection Doubletree Hotel

EXT

EXP W

PKWY

Shannon’s Playback the Band Saturday

IEL JR.

I-20

ROBER

T C DAN

01 FU

SOUTH AUGUSTA 01 02

South Augusta WA

04 WASHIN07 GTON R D

I-2

West Augusta

01 02 AV

WEST AUGUSTA 01 02 03 04

French Market Grille West - NOLA in the Garden City

Malibu Jacks - beach themed restaurant & bar Rack & Grill true pool hall Cadillacs cozy neighborhood spot

38 METRO SPIRIT 6.9.11

05 06 07 08

Shannon’s old lounge / new look Allie Katz - good cheap drinks

Wild Wings - live music 7 nights a week Cue & Brew

09 10 11 12

AC H

RIV

CH AR

TC WA

Gar y Coy Conr Thu ote’ ad rsd s ay

Coyote’s - great live music & DJs

Road Runner Cafe - in front of Coyote’s

09 10 11 12

Hooters - hooters

Somewhere In Augusta - sports bar & grill Robbie’s Sports Bar - true pool hall Country Club dance hall and saloon

Thursday, June 9 Live Music French Market Grille West Doc Easton Smooth Jazz Joe’s Underground Randy Carver One Hundred Laurens Kenny George Rose Hill Stables Preston & Weston Sky City Consider the Source, Sinister Mustache, Manray Wild Wing MaMa Says The Willcox Four Cats in the Doghouse

Events Cadillac’s Karaoke Club Argos Karaoke Club Rehab Candy Stripers Cabaret Club Sparx Playlist with Shannon Cocktails Lounge Karaoke Coyote’s Comedy night with Gary Conrad Fishbowl Lounge Karaoke Fox’s Lair Soup, Suds & Conversations Helga’s Pub & Grille Trivia HD Lounge Karaoke Islands Bar & Lounge DJ Fred Nice The Loft Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke Mi Rancho (Evans) Karaoke Pizza Joint, Evans DJ Kris Fisher The Playground Open Mic with Brandy Shannon’s Karaoke Soul Bar Boom Box Villa Europa Karaoke with Just Ben Wheeler Tavern Karaoke Wooden Barrel ‘80s Night Karaoke

Friday, June 10 Live Music Augusta Canal The Crosstie Walkers Cotton Patch Jam Sandwich Country Club Jared Ashley Band Coyote’s Eric Lee Beddingfield Doubletree Hotel 3 Sides of Jazz Fox’s Lair R2D1 French Market Grille West Doc Easton Joe’s Underground Mama Says Malibu Jack’s Tony Williams Blues Express One Hundred Laurens John Kolbeck Shannon’s Bill Tolbert & the New BTUs Stillwater Tap Room Welfare Liners Surrey Tavern Spiritual Rez Wild Wing Brandon Pruitt The Willcox Kenny George

Events Cadillac’s DJ Doug Club Argos Variety Show Club Rehab DJ C4 Club Sparx DJ Rana and Music Explosion Cocktails Lounge Grown-Up Fridays with DJ Cork and Bull Pub Karaoke with Libby

D. and Palmetto Entertainment Fishbowl Lounge Karaoke Iron Horse Bar & Grill Karaoke Islands Bar & Lounge Caribbean Night with DJ Spud Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke with Ryan Moseley Mi Rancho (Washington Road) Karaoke with Jeff Barnes Mi Rancho (Clearwater) Three J’s Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s Karaoke Palmetto Tavern DJ Tim The Place on Broad Rock DJ Rebeck’s Hideaway Open Mic Roadrunner Cafe Karaoke with Steve Chappel Sky City Mr. and Ms. Augusta Pride 2011 Pageant Soul Bar ’80s Night Tropicabana Latin Friday Wooden Barrel Karaoke Contest

Live Music Crums on Central Jim Perkins Jessye Norman Amphitheatre Candlelight Jazz w/ Will Goble Trio P.I. Bar and Grill Live Music Sector 7G Freshman 15, Floral Terrace, Farewell Fight, Feels Like Love Wild Wing Jason Marcum

Events Events Caribbean Soul Love Jones Sundays Malibu Jack’s Karaoke with Peggy Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) Karaoke, Salsa Dancing

Monday, June 13 Live Music Soul Bar Metal Monday

Events

Saturday, June 11 Live Music The Acoustic Coffeehouse Open Acoustic Jam Session with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Blue Horse Bistro Live Music The Cotton Patch Old Man Crazy Coyote’s Jeremy Graham Band Fox’s Lair Chuck Holt Joe’s Underground Smoke Damaged Malibu Jack’s South Atlantic P.I. Bar and Grill Live Music Shannon’s Playback The Band Sky City Rat Babies, Sick Sick Sick, Tater Zandra Zandra, Carolina Chupacabra Surrey Tavern Sureey’s All ’80s Wild Wing Back in Black

Events Cadillac’s DJ Doug Club Argos Variety Show Club Rehab DJ C4 Club Sparx DJ Wreboot House Party Cocktails Lounge Latin Night Fishbowl Lounge Karaoke Helga’s Pub & Grille Trivia Islands Bar & Lounge Reggae Night with Island Vybez The Loft Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke with Rockin Rob Mi Rancho (Clearwater) Karaoke with Danny Haywood Mi Rancho (Washington Road) Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s Karaoke One Hundred Laurens DJ Kenny Ray The Playground DJ Fugi Somewhere in Augusta UFC 131 Tropicabana Salsa Saturday Wooden Barrel Kamikaze Karaoke

Sunday, June 12

Malibu Jack’s KE-JU Sector 7G 40 Winters, Make It Reign, Maya Over Eyes, Hennessy Williams, Up In Arms, Decollator Shannon’s Bill Tolbert & the New BTUs Wild Wing Eldorado Deluxe The Willcox Hal Shreck

Applebee’s (Evans) Trivia Club Argos Karaoke Club Rehab Jenn’s Crazy Karaoke HD Lounge Game Night Hopelands Gardens 4 Cats in the Doghouse Malibu Jack’s Team Trivia with Mike Thomas Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke with Danny Haywood Somewhere In Augusta Karaoke with Charles Wild Wing Trivia and ’80s Karaoke

Tuesday, June 14 Live Music Appleby Library Melanie Larsen & Friends Cocktails Lounge Live Music Fox’s Lair John Fisher Wild Wing Matt Acosta The Willcox Hal Shreck

Events Club Argos Karaoke Club Rehab Jenn’s Crazy Karaoke Club Sparx Karaoke with Big Tony Fishbowl Lounge Dart League HD Lounge Trivia Islands Bar & Lounge DJ Fred Nice Malibu Jack’s Karaoke with Denny Somewhere in Augusta Trivia with Charles

Wednesday, June 15 Live Music 209 on the River Smooth Grooves Cadillac’s Live Band Joe’s Underground Sibling String

Club Argos Santoni’s Satin Dolls Club Rehab Jenn’s Crazy Karaoke Club Sparx Trivia Cocktails Lounge Augusta’s Got Talent The Cotton Patch Trivia and Tunes with Cliff Bennett HD Lounge Open Mic Laura’s Backyard Tavern Karaoke The Loft Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) Karaoke with Rockin’ Rob The Place on Broad Jazz DJ The Playground Krazy Karaoke with Big Troy Polo Tavern Karaoke with Tom Mitchell Somewhere In Augusta The Comedy Zone w/ Patrick Garrity and Rodger Keiss Wheeler Tavern Trivia

Upcoming Josh Roberts and the Hinges Stillwater Tap Room June 17 Loretta Lynn Bell Auditorium June 18 Papa String Band Stillwater Tap Room July 8 Blair Crimmons and the Hookers Stillwater Tap Room July 15 Temptations Review, Palmetto Groove USC-Aiken Convocation Center June 17 Dave Desmelik Band Stillwater Tap Room July 22 Sugarland James Brown Arena June 23 R Kelly, Keyshia Cole, Marsha Ambrosius James Brown Arena June 28 Merle Haggard Bell Auditorium August 6 Keith Urban James Brown Arena August 13 Casting Crowns USC-Aiken Convocation Center November 25

Elsewhere Loretta Lynn Cobb Energy Performing Arts Centre, Atlanta June 10 Willie Nelson CoolRay Field, Lawrenceville June 12 Mumford & Sons The Fox Theatre, Atlanta June 12 Phish Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre, Alpharetta June 14-15 Uriah Heep Variety Playhouse, Atlanta June 14 Adele The Tabernacle, Atlanta June 17 Jo Dee Messina The Frederick Brown Amphitheater, Peachtree City June 18 Daryl Hall & John Oates Chastain Park METRO SPIRIT 6.9.11 39

AUGUSTA

TEK Computer in Disguise Greg Baker

Last week our family bought a new television from one of the big-box stores over at Augusta Exchange. It was a 52” 1080P LED to replace the 50” HD rear-screen projection set we bought years and years ago. (If you can convince my wife, it could be yours. Tweet me your best offer.) Of course we were excited to get it home. One of the great selling points for us was the integrated Netflix. Netflix has executed a brilliant strategy by getting their service integrated into every device possible. I first saw the TV integration a few months ago, and I was always curious how they could get Netflix into a TV set. Well, now I know. You see, when we unpacked the device and turned it on, we Amphitheater, Atlanta June 19 New Kids on the Bloxk, Philips Arena, Atlanta June 22 Chris Isaak Chastain Park Amphitheater, Atlanta June 22 Athfest w/ Futurebirds, Centro-Matic, Guadalcanal Diary, Chickasaw Mudd Puppies and Jason Isbell & the 400 Unit Athens June 22-26 Steve Miller Band Chastain Park Amphitheater, Atlanta June 24 Skid Row Wild Bill’s, Duluth June 25 R. Kelly Philips Arena, Atlanta June 25

discovered that we hadn’t bought a TV set at all. We had actually bought a computer. Honestly, I have to admit that I am a little embarrassed to have been so naïve. Of course it had to be a computer! How else could you support the advertised internet connectivity and supported applications? And sure enough, when we “booted up” the television, it prompted us to connect to our WIFI and proceeded to download updates. Now we build a couple of dozen systems a week at CMA, and the progress bar for an initial software update is unmistakable. This behavior is undeniably computer related. Here’s what I think happened. Some adventurous little computer started Dinosaur Jr. Variety Playhouse, Atlanta June 26 Florence and the Machine The Fox Theatre, Atlanta July 1 Jennifer Hudson Chastain Park Amphitheater, Atlanta July 2 If you own or work at a local bar and want to have your events listed, please email Amy Christian at amy@themetrospirit.com. The deadline for each Thursday’s issue is the previous Friday at noon.

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its life cycle wanting to be an Apple. Fate dealt a cruel blow and put that computer on the Dell assembly line. It escaped. After wandering the internet for many gigaflops, that little computer is now sitting in my living room disguised as a HDTV waiting for an opportunity to transform into an Xbox. (Coincidently, my birthday is next month. Do you think it could be possible? Hmm…) Now I know many of you will think

that I’m just being silly, but if you look around you’ll begin to realize that these little adventurous computers are hiding everywhere. Just last week the City of Augusta announced its adaptive traffic signal system along Wrightsboro Road. Columbia County also has a similar adaptive system along Washington Road. According to the Rhythm Engineering website, this technology utilizes “video detection and adaptive loop detection to optimize traffic signals.” Do you really believe that an old-school traffic light could do that? Seriously, there’s a computer hiding in there somewhere. Before signing off, I want to give a shout out to my good friend, Abu Khan of Comcast. Let’s give Augusta’s technology vote to Abu in the Alzheimer Association’s Dancing Stars of Augusta on June 10! Until next time, tweet your Augusta Tek story to @gregory_a_baker, or send an email to HYPERLINK “mailto:augustatek@cmaaugusta. com”augustatek@cmaaugusta.com.

Gregory A. Baker, Ph.D., was raised in Columbia County and is currently the vice president and chief rocket scientist for CMA, which provides information technology services to CSRA businesses and nonprofits. He has been married for 15 years and is the father to twin girls, so he supports 37 Barbies, eight American Girl dolls and innumerable stuffed animals.

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The Adam Carolla Show “Get it on, got to get it on, mandate get it on,” is the first thing you hear 5 days a week on The Adam Carolla Show starring, you guessed it, Adam Carolla. Famously known from such shows as The Man Show, Loveline, and Crank Yankers, Adam takes the art of podcasting to a new level with this hilarious, very listenable hour and a half show. The program revolves around Adam’s highly evolved view of the world. He’s

proud to talk about how uneducated he is, how poor and white trashish he grew up, yet you’d be hard pressed to find someone so articulate-usually leaving you wondering how on earth he could piece random tangents together off the top of his head. Out of all of the podcasts that I listen to, this is the one I download the most. Treat it like a normal morning radio show, just on your IPod. He is surrounded with two super quick, very intelligent sidekicks, so put the three of them together and it’s like comedy through a fire hose. In the past month, Adam has welcomed a wide range of human beings into the studio: Tom Arnold, Matt Walsh, Larry Flynt, Tim Daly, Topher Grace, Albert Brooks, Andy Dick, Bill Burr

and Marc Maron…just to name a few. No one does five podcasts a week, it’s unheard of, or at least it was until Adam got in the podcasting game. A lot of us have certain talents, whether it be sports, math or talking on the radio (plug for me, tune in daily…I’m funny), well Adam has a knack for being able to rant about anything and make it funny. And amazingly enough, it never gets old. The man is just funny. And guess what, people? It’s free! One day we’ll look back on the days of free content like this and laugh. Oh, we’ll laugh. Laugh till we puke on the ground. Carolla’s career has been huge. He was highly successful on television, and even made the move to radio in Los Angeles. After the station tanked his show, he said screw corporate America, took to podcasting and has become even more successful. Recently named by The Guinness Book of World Records as the most downloaded podcast, Carolla’s show is one of the few that have multiple weekly sponsors. What does that mean? He’s actually making good money off a podcast. Along with the likes of Kevin Smith’s Smodcast Network, Carolla is now building an empire of podcasts with the ACE Broadcasting Network. Carcast, Ace on the House, The Film Vault (one of my personal favorites), This Week with Larry Miller and more can all be found on the network. It is conveniently located at adamcarolla.com. Carolla is an entertainment machine. He has a new television show starting this summer, he has a New York Times best-selling book with “In 50 Years We’ll All Be Chicks,” he tours the nation performing live, and arguably has the most successful podcast to date. If you are looking for a major market morning show that you can listen to whenever you like, I definitely recommend The Adam Carolla Show. Listener discretion is advised on this one; when I say it’s explicit, I mean it’s explicit... just the way I like it. METRO SPIRIT 6.9.11 41

earDRUM Visit The Radar Cinema for Some Great Tunes Brian Allen is a local music fan who hosts a weekly podcast, confederationofloudness.com. If there is any band in Augusta more underappreciated and deserving of recognition than The Radar Cinema I am clearly missing something. Quietly, this band has mastered the idea of what it’s like to be beast-like. I’ve met each and every member of the band and appreciated them for the easy hang that they all present. What’s not evident from the outside is this: The Radar Cinema is comprised of some of the most astute musicians this side

42 METRO SPIRIT 6.9.11

of Dream Theater. It’s pretty clear to me that these cats have spent more of their time plying trade in other genres than rock ‘n’ roll than I have listening to Beatles records (okay maybe that’s hyperbole, but you get my point). Not to belabor the point... but the point is this! The Radar Cinema is a pretty freakin’ great band and, therefore, point C in my ongoing effort to wake this town up to the relevance and quality of the home team. Don’t believe me? I’ll prove it to you. Recently across my desk came a link for a video with some rough studio

work that the band in question has been handling with Morgan Parham. I really cannot say enough about the video in question or the recorded music that it accompanies. Gorgeous song. Excellent vid of a working band in the midst of the creative process. It seriously gives me chills. That’s just how pure the whole thing is put together. Come back from that one and get with me on the Whine Line... positive or negative. I think it’s stellar and perhaps one the best recorded things I’ve heard from a local band. Hearty congratulations to the Augusta

State golf team on winning their second Division 1 National Championship in a row. Now if ASU would just bring back that soccer program we’d be ballin’. If you’re interested in what’s beating the brakes off my iPod this week, it’s this: “Rolling in the Deep” by Adele. Seriously powerful stuff. See y’all at the rock show. Brian Allen

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Heavy is the head that wears the crown. Or is it? In concluding a championship run that has proven to be even more improbable than last year’s, the Augusta State golf team has completely outdone themselves in defending their title and not letting their crown grace the head of some imposter. This is in no way, shape or form discrediting what the Jaguars did last year; they have the hardware to prove that 2010 was theirs. And that’s just my point. The year after a team wins a national championship is arguably the hardest. I can speak on this as I have been a part of two teams that were coming off of national championship seasons in football (Georgia Military College-’01 champs, ’02 runnerup, Valdosta State University- ’04) These teams were similar to ASU in that we returned a large chunk of our production — in ASU’s case, they returned every one — and each were the school’s first national championship teams in their respected sports. And how exactly did we fare with the target on our backs? A disastrous 5-5 record at GMC, and an underwhelming 9-3 season at VSU. Needless to say we were still hungover from the kudos and tickertape parades in the worst kind of way. Our championship chalice still overflowing with ego and stories of “how perfect last year was.” While Head Coach Josh Gregory can look and feel dumbfounded about what just happened, his eye for a certain kind of player — not just talent — is what delivered this championship season. A team of gamers able to shield the blinding, adoring light in a game that is sometimes ripe with entitlement and privilege. By now we know who each player is and how he got here. Each story leading in a roundabout way to Augusta. On the outside, it looks like an impressive turn of luck. Like an elementary class fortunate to somehow have enough puzzle pieces still in the box to make a portrait after the high schoolers riffled through and took what they wanted. But they never had to be perfect, they just had to be themselves. College golf is a sport that is mainly stroke play all year that leads into an ultracompetitive match play tournament to decide it all. Which plays right into ASU’s team full of undertakers disguised as golfers. Over the past two years, against the Jaguars is where the nation’s best have come to expire. Staring at the trophy ahead of them in wonderment, with a season worth of expectations weighing them down, it only tightened the noose before Coach Gregory’s boys kicked the stool out from underneath and left them for all to see. Match play with the Jaguars has evolved into an event where the future stars of the PGA tour come out looking flawed and exposed. So many memories and accomplishments this group created with their bare hands over the past two years, with wedges and woods as their tools of trade. Each member important in his own right. Whether it was the fire in the belly of Mitch Krywulycz, the work ethic of Henrik Norlander or Patrick Reed’s competitiveness, they each maximized their talent with the help of chief architect, Josh Gregory, to build this once in a lifetime team. “I don’t know what just happened. We just won back-to-back National Championships somehow.” — Josh Gregory. Oh I think you have a pretty good idea, coach.

advice goddess Amy Alkon

Same-sex Attraction I’m an African-American gay woman in my mid-20s. I initially had relationships with men, but I’m just not attracted to or compelled by them. Women make me feel alive, exhilarated, connected and challenged, and sex is the bomb. So, I know I truly love women… but most lesbians, including my current girlfriend, are crazy. I can’t deal with their constant breakdowns because I didn’t call enough, compliment enough, rub enough or whatever else I should be doing but am not. Things felt more emotionally balanced with men (probably because I didn’t really care). I feel stuck between engaging in meaningless relationships with men and living a life of passion and disappointment with women. What would you do if you were in my little gay pink slippers? — Fed Up I think you need to follow the Internet

traffic. A substantial portion seems to be those forwarded lists — from both men and women — explaining why whichever sex they’re dating compares unfavorably to dogs. Clearly, we should ditch these complicated human relationships for a simpler kind of love — the one we’d share with a partner who’s beyond happy as long as we keep throwing it a dirty tennis ball and dropping pieces of food on the floor. The sad fact is, anyone who can’t describe him or herself as “cocker spaniel-curious” has a problem. According to women, men’s emotions run the gamut from H to H (Hungry to Horny), they think the correct place for a wet towel is “wherever it happens to fall when they’re done drying off,” and they leave the toilet seat up and still manage to miss the bowl. (“Why, why, why, when you have a pee device shaped like a pointer?”) Men find women naggy, controlling

and prone to verbal excess — that is, when they aren’t expressing themselves with pouting and drawer-slamming. The man’s left to parse whether the acting out is just a fun feature of her monthly Mr. Toad’s Wild Hormone Ride — or indicative of some crime on his part, like the failure to celebrate their second weekiversary (that all-important twoweek anniversary of their second date). You’ve been dating women for what, 22 minutes, and a handful of emo chicks later, you’re ready to pack it in for emotionally dead relationships with men? Women tend to be more emotionally demanding — probably because they evolved to look for displays of commitment from a partner. But, women aren’t your problem and men aren’t the solution. Like a lot of people in their 20s, you’re probably a crappy gatekeeper — prone to rushing into a relationship because a woman’s hot and fun. Before getting serious,

you need to do the rationality and groundedness entrance exam: “What kind of circus are we entering into here? Will somebody be swinging from the chandelier because we got her the ‘wrong’ birthday card?” That said, a healthy relationship involves taking pleasure in doing the little things that please your partner — even if you find them somewhat silly. If you get tired from all the rubbing and complimenting or whatever, go to lunch with a bunch of straight women and you’ll be reminded that anybody who dates anybody has it rough. People — can’t live with ‘em, can’t kill ‘em and be absolutely sure you’ll get off on a technicality.

Custer’s Last Nightstand My boyfriend still shares a weekend/ vacation house with his ex-wife. He just framed a photo of me and put it on the nightstand next to his bed, the spot where he previously put unimportant photos — ones of his dogs and trips with college friends. All the photos of his family members (and of his now-exwife) are along the stairway. Should I say something? — Hurting Are the throw pillows plotting against you? Has his trash been talking trash about you again? It seems you’re a Couch Whisperer, blessed with the rare gift for understanding the secret language of household objects. You know better than to find it sweet that your picture is the last thing the guy’ll

look at before he falls asleep and the first thing he’ll see upon waking up. If he really loved you, he’d have his ex’s picture on his nightstand and stick yours between fat dead Uncle Joe and the fishing picture of his pimply cousins. Or, better yet, he could just forget that the house is a shared space — shared with his ex-wife — and post a picture of her replacement over the fireplace. Should you say something? Absolutely… to a therapist, before your toxic fear and festering insecurity drive your boyfriend to relocate your photo to a place many will see it — if they remove the note taped over your face reading, “Yard Sale, everything on this table 50 cents or less.”

©2011, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or email adviceamy@aol.com. Also visit advicegoddess.com and read Amy Alkon’s book: “I See Rude People: One Woman’s Battle to Beat Some Manners Into Impolite Society” (McGraw-Hill, $16.95).

METRO SPIRIT 6.9.11 45

austin R

Uncool Headline Quotes Azziz Out of Context Arriving via email Tuesday morning was an irate note complaining about how MCG (Georgia Health Sciences University) President Ricardo Azziz was grossly taken out of context in the <<italics>>Augusta Chronicle<<italics>> article describing his Monday address to the Rotary Club of Augusta. The email was from an Augusta Chronicle employee. The president’s comments were simply an echo of points made by Chamber of Commerce and economic development wonks since time immemorial: “People and businesses invest in communities who support and foster the arts.” Nothing controversial about that, unless you use hipster language that when used in a headline can be turned against you. Here is the passage in question, presented verbatim from the Tom Corwin article: “Those potential research recruits — many in their 30s to mid-40s — are looking for a

vibrant, creative community, with thriving arts and things to do, he said. In other words, to attract those folks ‘you need to be cool,’ Azziz said. ‘Health care and biomedical research is a brain industry,’ he said. ‘It’s an industry that appreciates the arts, the coolness, the quality of life, the mental stimulation. We’ve got to become cool.’” His people want you to know that the good doctor wasn’t slamming us. Azziz made his observations while stressing the importance of bringing new research missions and the big bucks that come with them to the school. The positive impact that such investment would have in the community is irrefutable, but Azziz may need a bit of local education and enlightenment concerning the community he has chosen to make his home. As Georgia’s second largest city, we are

blessed to be free of the big-city headaches seen in places like Atlanta, or, Azziz’s last home, Los Angeles. His previous post, as a highly regarded honcho at the UCLA Medical Center, may have put him in an odd place to judge “coolness” as it pertains to a medium size southern city in today’s America. My sister-in-law is currently working on an advanced math degree at UCLA, and she loves the weather out there. Of course, it costs 150 bucks a month to park your car and the taxes are obscene. I am not going to disagree with Dr. Azziz and his theory that an “artistic identity” for a community like ours is very important. While there is always room for improvement, one of the CSRA’s biggest problems is that we don’t brag on what we have nearly enough. We can put Davidson Fine Arts School up against any high school in the country and be proud. Same goes for A.R. Johnson. We have a collection of incredible public schools all over the area, and we run them for a helluva lot less dough than other places do. Don’t go throwing test scores at me, our “best and brightest” do just fine wherever they go (see the aforementioned valedictorian of Lincoln County High School, Sara Anne Remsen). For the “finer arts” I submit Le Chat

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Noir, Symphony Orchestra Augusta, The Augusta Mini-Theater, The Augusta Players, Storyland Theater and the Fort Gordon Theater. And for all the pointy heads out there who want to point at places like Asheville, North Carolina or even Athens, Georgia, and say they are “cooler” than we are, just give those communities the “public charity water” that we carry for the poor in our area, and let’s see how they do with it. Those are much smaller communities, and in the case of Asheville, real estate is so expensive up there that poor folks can’t afford to live anywhere nearby. Azziz’s quoted out of context assessments bring to light the need for us to better explain to the rest of the world that if they want a higher standard of living, for less money and no big metro problems, look no further. No doubt Azziz wants us to improve but, when all factors are considered, our hometown can be a pretty cool place. You just have to be smart enough to see it. The views expressed are the opinions of Austin Rhodes and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.