Metro Spirit 06.16.2004 by Metro Spirit

June 17-23 Vol. 15 No. 46

Augustaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Independent Voice

Real Service You’ll “Be Over The Moon About”

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

Comedian Dick Cavett once said that as long as people will accept less, it will be financially profitable to dispense it. He might have been talking about his plumber, or the cable guy, or the air conditioner repairman. These service professionals can earn the disdain of customers, not to mention negative stereotypes, if they are not managed and operated with integrity. Who doesn’t recognize the proverbial handyman from TV and movies who, arriving hours late, practically moons you with his too-low-slung dungarees as he bends to reach for his toolbox. John Haynie can laugh at these images. But then, he’s only laughing at his competitors, who just don’t get it. The president of Sig Cox Air Conditioning, Haynie is as bullish about customer service as he is about quality. As a consumer himself, he believes no one should accept anything less than the best. And real quality begins at home. “I’ve been in this business long enough to know that you get what you give,” Haynie said. “Quality truly begins with your workforce. If you don’t invest in your own people, how can you expect them to do their very best for the customer?” Don’t misunderstand. Haynie is not opposed to making a profit. That’s the essence of business. But his is an honest and reasonable profit, the result of putting people — employees and customers — first. “We reinvest 85% of our proceeds into our people. We apply it to salaries, profit sharing, health benefits, training” he explained. “When the other guy sends someone out to your house

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on a service call, do you ever wonder whether he can feed his family. Is he certified to do this work? Is he insured? Is he impaired in “If you don’t invest in any way? Does he have a criminal record? This is a stranger in your own people, how whom you are placing your trust. It shouldn’t be a gamble.... can you expect them “We do drug tests and criminal background checks on our to do their very best employees. That’s just the initial screening. If they make the cut, for the customer?” then we invest substantially to give them the training and tools to succeed. They understand that they are professionals, and they con– John Haynie ducts themselves accordingly. They’ll get it right, on time, the first time — or your money back.” Keeping an HVAC unit in good repair is an expense. But it’s also an investment. “No one saves up for their next air conditioner,” Haynie said. “Why not be smart about it and protect your investment. That way, it will pay for itself down the road. When people buy or maintain their systems ‘on the cheap,’ they can be sure to lose those up-front savings in repeat purchases, whether it’s parts or labor. Cheap rarely lasts, and the customer literally gets what they pay for.” “Do you really want to pay for something twice, three times?” Haynie asked.”I know I don’t.” Sig Cox’s service and products are backed by a full, Worry-Free Guarantee™. If you’re not completely satisfied, Haynie will refund 100% of your investment, period. So there’s no risk in exploring a Sig Cox climate-control system or Worry-Free Membership™ (Service Plans). For a free system evaluation and quote, try us at 706-722-5304.

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Courtroom Chaos

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Contents

JUNE 17-23 • FREE WEEKLY • METROSPIRIT.COM

Cover Illustration: Stephen Eidson Cover Design: Shawn Sutherland

FEATURE 14

Columbia County Sheriff’s Race

By Brian Neill

14 CINEMA 36 Flix 38 Mandy Moore Is a Good Girl from Hell in “Saved!” 39 Tom Hanks Is Stranded … Again … In “The Terminal” 40 Reel Time

OPINION 6 Whine Line 6 This Modern World 6 Words 8 Thumbs Up/Down 8 Letter 10 Insider METRO 12 Goodbye George BITE 24 Joe’s Underground Is a Dive — In a Good Way 25 In the Mix ART 26 Two Apparently Unrelated Exhibits by Memphis Artists 28 “Anne of Green Gables” To Show at Aiken Community Playhouse EVENTS 30 Calendar EDITOR & PUBLISHER David Vantrease ASSISTANT TO THE PUBLISHER Dee Ramp ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Rhonda Jones ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT ASSISTANT Andy Stokes STAFF WRITERS Stacey Eidson, Brian Neill

MUSIC 41 Revelation: The Music Carries the Message 42 Luminescent Orchestrii 43 Sounds of Summer 44 CD Reviews 45 Sightings 46 Music Minis 47 After Dark STUFF 50 News of the Weird 51 Brezsny’s Free Will Astrology 51 New York Times Crossword Puzzle 52 Amy Alkon: Advice Goddess 53 Datemaker 55 Classifieds

ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Joe White ADVERTISING SALES SUPPORT Riali Blackstock PRODUCTION MANAGER Joe Smith GRAPHIC ARTISTS Ange Hagler, Natalie Holle, Shawn Sutherland

ACCOUNTING MANAGER/CLASSIFIEDS Sharon King SENIOR MUSIC CONTRIBUTOR Ed Turner CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Amy Alkon, Rob Brezsny, Amy Fennell Christian, Rachel Deahl, David Elliott CARTOONISTS Tom Tomorrow

Metro Spirit is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks of the year. Editorial coverage includes arts, local issues, news, entertainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publishers. Visit us at www.metrospirit.com. Copyright © Metro Spirit, Inc. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. Phone: (706) 738-1142 Fax: (706) 733-6663 E-mail: spirit@metrospirit.com Letters to the Editor: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, Ga. 30914-3809

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OPINION

Whine Line

ccording to President Bush, the departing George J. Tenet has done a “superb job” as director of Central Intelligence, just as Donald H. Rumsfeld has done a “superb” job as defense secretary and Alan Greenspan as Federal Reserve chairman. With all these superlatives, one can only wonder what it takes to fail in the Bush administration. Robin Williams is a good guy who just got caught up in politics and the way it works. Other people have done similar things as Robin, but they go unscathed while Robin must face the music. I’m not defending Robin, but there are other politicians and former elected officials who have done worse. Robin just got caught. That is, if he actually did all those things he is accused of. In light of recent events, we should topple that tall, slim UN building into the East River. Move UN headquarters elsewhere! Anywhere outside of the U.S. Need to raise taxes? I suggest taxing the “all you can eat” buffet plates. Charge a 50-cent tax on every buffet plate you use at the feeding troughs. The rate of obesity will go down. There will be money for healthcare needed to treat diseases related to obesity. Sound crazy? The government keeps raising the taxes on cigarettes to pay for the healthcare needs of smokers. It only makes sense to me that if I have to keep paying higher taxes on cigarettes as a smoker, that obese people should have to pay a tax on food. Thanks to the person who walked up my driveway to steal my CD player out of my car last night. They were gracious enough to first eject my CD and leave it on the passenger seat. Enjoy!

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

I am real sorry I have to sound like a jerk, but the other day a funeral home was leading a family (without the

hearse), I am guessing, to the church. I thought there was a local policy in which to have a patrol car stop traffic. There wasn’t one present. The car for the funeral ran the stop sign, laid on the horn and pulled right out into oncoming traffic, causing everyone of us to slam on brakes. Anyway, they need to get their act together before this funeral home causes some more funerals. Congressman Norwood is responsible for Lee Muns’ election as Columbia County Republican Party chairman. Both Muns and Norwood need to be kicked out of their positions at the next election, for it is Norwood who is driving a wedge among the Republican Party establishment and Muns is not very well-liked. To Brian Neill: Great article about Robin “Hood” Williams. Milk does a body good. Most of us drink it. But have you ever paused and looked at a cow? To the first human to ever milk a cow and drink that stuff: What on earth were you thinking? After listening to these dumb liberal Democrats talk about Reagan, I wonder how you call yourself American citizens. If it weren’t for him, you would be speaking Russian today. Congratulations and a big thank you to Brian Neill for his excellent front-page story, “Is Robin A Hood?”. Since some people are referring to 9/11 as occurring on “President Bush’s watch,” it is only fair that he use 9/11 in his campaign ads. It is part of U.S. history, albeit a tragic part. I feel that the 9/11 tragedy has put the “united” back into the United States! A giant whine to the lowlife who threw a kitten out the window of his vehicle into

Words “Indeed, Bush holds fast to two of Reagan’s most dangerous beliefs — that the social safety net is dangerous and must be destroyed, and that American exceptionalism gives the United States moral authority to do what it pleases. Over a decade or so, the nation was able to repair much of the damage done by Reagan’s adherence to those notions. It may take longer — much longer — to undo the damage wrought by Bush.” — Atlanta Journal-Constitution columnist Cynthia Tucker

“You ask me what I’d like to do that I haven’t done and I say, ‘Nothin’!’ I haven’t any mountains to climb or oceans to swim. I’ve been an extremely blessed individual ... I’m not clamorin’ for more trinkets. If I were to die tomorrow, I could say I’ve had a good life.” — Ray Charles, from a 1986 Los Angeles Times article

traffic on Highway 1 at Gordon Hwy. You are the worst excuse for a human being.

Republicans for his support of Brush and his misuse of the office. No doubt about it, Muns is on his way out.

The Metro Spirit seems to think that Columbia County Republican Chairman Muns is in trouble with some of the

Augusta commissioners have been the laughing stock of this community for a long time and it is not getting any better. continued on page 8

Join us at the market for breakfast. Then buy your home-grown fruits and veggies for the week.

SATURDAY MORNINGS 8 A.M. - 1 P.M.

Featuring: Local Strawberries, organic produce and plants, flowers, fresh veggies, baked goods, handcrafted items and performances by The Simply Southern Quartet on June 19th and The Columbia County Choral Society on June 26th. On the corner of Macartan and Broad Presented by Main Street Augusta, Inc.

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Graphic Artist/Designer Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re looking for an experienced, creative graphic ar tist to create ads and assist in overall design of ar ticles and features for Metro Spirit, Metro Augusta Parent and SASS Magazine. Knowledge of Quark, Photoshop, Illustrator and In-Design preferred. Fast paced, deadline oriented environment. Team players only.

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METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

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Whether the world leaders at the G-8 summit accomplished anything or not, it at least appears that the three-day event didn’t tarnish Georgia’s image. Thousands of federal law enforcement agents, hundreds of protesters and bus loads of journalists from around the world seemed to get along reasonably

well last week with no major catastrophes. According to The Atlanta JournalConstitution, a total of 15 protesters were arrested, 20,000 law enforcement officers were on hand and 1,500 cases of beer were served to visiting journalists covering the event. You can’t get much better than that.

THE AUGUSTA CONSERVATION

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EDUCATION

The Future of Ft. Discovery and what

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Plus a musical performance from

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“Roots of Gardening” Series Educational Sessions will feature local experts, including Jenny Addie, Milledge and Joanne Peterson, and Master Gardeners Jim Blount and Bill Adams. Separate hands-on, fun activities will be available for children during these sessions.

What’s up with these local weathermen? Time and time again, it seems, they get it wrong. They say with certainty it’s going to rain, and all day long it’s bone dry. Then, they say there’s no chance for rain in the forecast and,

continued from page 6 These people make decisions about some of the biggest projects undertaken and some of the thorniest issues facing our community, so one would think the people serving would be intelligent, experienced, even savvy businesspeople. Most of them have little business experience and appear to be dumb as hell. Is this the best we can do? If so, our fate is sealed and we are destined to continue to be an underperforming community with little hope for the future. To the idiot who thinks Bush and Cheney are responsible for the high gas prices. It’s the stupid Democrats who voted down the bill to drill in Alaska and other places where we have oil. The environmentalists won’t let people build new

minutes later, the rumbling sound of approaching thunderclouds is heard. Perhaps they need to abandon all these whirring gizmos and Accu-Weather stuff and stick their heads out the window for once.

refineries and they want all of these different grades of gas. We can’t control the Arabs unless we go in and take control like we did in Iraq. I volunteer for an animal rescue organization and there are so many uncaring, ignorant people who allow their pets to breed over and over and then throw away the animals when they tire of them. This is out of control in the CSRA. These folks need to be fined or jailed. Call our Whine Line at 510-2051 and leave your comments. We won’t use your name. Fax your whines by dialing (706) 733-6663 or e-mail your whines to whine@metrospirit.com.

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METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

Thur., May 20; 6:30-7:30 pm- Lawns: Aeration, seeding/overseeding, de-thatching, fertilizer, lime, what to plant now. Thur., June 17; 6:30-7:30pm- Maintenance: Watering & fertilizing, mulching, what to plant now. Thur., July 15; 6:30-7:30pm- Pests: Pest control, plant diseases, problems. Thur., August 19; 6:30-7:30pm - Grooming: Pruning, diving perennials, collecting seeds, dead-heading, what to plant now. Thur., September 16; 6:30-7:30pm - More Maintenance: Composting, raking leaves, harvesting, what to plant now. Thur., October 21; 6:30-7:30pm - Preparing for Winter: Planting trees/shrubs/bulbs, transplanting, mulch, what to plant now.

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OPINION

Letter

If Only It Were True …

ear Editor,

Bob Beckham’s statement in last week’s Spirit (“Is Robin a Hood?”, June 10-16 issue) suggesting that I attended parties in Atlanta at Robin Williams’ residence are

totally untrue. I never had the occasion to “party” with Robin at any function, in Atlanta or elsewhere. Damn shame too, because I heard those parties were always a blast. Austin Rhodes

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he exit of City Administrator George Kolb has brought the inadequacies of the Augusta Commission into focus. Commissioner Marion Williams has been on a mission to get rid of Kolb for months, and other commissioners, especially Willie Mays, joined the chorus a long time ago. Kolb could do no right in their minds and Williams hammered Kolb every chance he could. There is no doubt that the Augusta Commission — with its marathon meetings, the endless monologues of its members and the constant delays in getting things done — is a dysfunctional governmental body that is frustrating to anyone who follows city business. That said, Kolb must take his share of the responsibility for things not working out. His arrogant and defiant attitude, poor communication skills and lack of follow-through on important details were not the fault of commissioners. Kolb was often unprepared at meetings and was seen napping at commission meetings on many occasions. No doubt the meetings are snoozers but the guy gets paid to be there and is expected to pay attention. Kolb was not really that great on the job. While Kolb’s exit allows an opportunity to point out how lousy the commission behaves, people who pay attention know that Kolb was his own worst enemy. Heard on the Street With each passing day it becomes more likely that the vote on the Special Local Option Sales Tax will be pushed into next year. Initially, those in favor of the sales tax wanted the referendum in July, but that didn’t work out. The next available date is September. With all the loose ends currently surrounding the sales tax, commissioners would have to come to agreement on several thorny issues very, very soon in order to make September work. November would be less expensive than September, due to the fact that voters will be voting anyway so it won’t cost any more to add the referendum. It’s a presidential election year and the turnout will be higher. The problem with November is that higher voter turnout could hurt the chances of some of the more controversial projects and could endanger passage of the entire program. Considering all the infrastructure work included in the list

of projects, failure of the tax in its entirety would not be good for the city. So some insiders are saying the vote may not take place until 2005. We’ll see. Third District Augusta Commissioner Barbara Sims is organized and working hard in her bid to win election to the seat she inherited when former commissioner Steve Shepard took over as city attorney. She has the backing of a lot of West Augusta power brokers, who are advising her. Sims has the money to forge an effective campaign and she is walking the district to introduce herself to voters. Many people seem to like the fact that there are now two women on the commission. Odds are that Sims and First District Commissioner Betty Beard will win their respective races. Former Richmond County School Board member Sherry Foster has apparently decided to challenge 10th District board member Helen Minchew in the November election. Foster’s name has been circulated for awhile but, according to insiders, she’s talking openly of her intentions now. Rumors of a multi-count indictment of former state Sen. Charles Walker have been running rampant for a while. The FBI, IRS and GBI have been investigating Walker for months. Pundits and political insiders have repeatedly predicted that charges were just around the corner but nothing has happened. Suddenly, this week, the word spread that an indictment is coming and coming soon. Having heard these rumors forever, many people are dismissing them as more of the same. However, law enforcement and political insiders report that it is only a matter of days before an indictment comes out of Savannah. The information appears to be credible. Time will tell.

The views expressed in this column are the views of The Insider and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

Actions speak louder than words.

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For the third consecutive year, MCG was chosen by consumers as the preferred hospital for cancer treatment in the annual survey conducted by National Research Corporation. But actions speak louder than words. While MCG was the stated choice for cancer treatment, more patients were actually treated at our Cancer Center than at any other area hospital in 2003. Not only would patients prefer to come to MCG for cancer treatment, they actually do. As the region’s only academic medical center, we offer the most comprehensive cancer care in the area. We are nationally recognized for cancer research and innovative diagnostic and treatment procedures. And we are committed to providing community-based health education and prevention programs that improve the lives of children and adults. Thank you, Augusta, for recognizing MCG as your choice for the best cancer care in the region.

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METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

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METRO BEAT Goodbye George

Commission

By Stacey Eidson

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

t’s official. George Kolb is no longer Augusta’s city administrator. With a unanimous vote, the Augusta Commission accepted Kolb’s resignation on June 15 and made his departure from the city government effective immediately. After three years of turbulent relations between the former administrator and a handful of commissioners, Kolb’s exit came to a peaceful conclusion. “I want to express my appreciation to the council for having the honor of being the administrator of this government and I want to thank all of the employees and all the people that I served with,” Kolb said, following the commission’s acceptance of his resignation. In return, six commissioners and the mayor wished Kolb the best of luck in his new position as city manager in Wichita, Kan. “George, let me just say to you how much I appreciate your tenure here as administrator of Augusta-Richmond County,” Augusta Mayor Bob Young said. “I know at times it was challenging. There have been a lot of good times. We’ve made some tremendous progress in this organization. The work you’ve done is going to be around for a long time after you’ve gone to Wichita. “Augusta is better because George and Sandy Kolb have been residents of this community.” Augusta Commissioner Tommy Boyles told Kolb that he would miss seeing him not only in the municipal building, but also in his neighborhood. “Not only do I lose you from down here but you and I live on the same street, so it’ll seems strange to go by your house and not see you there,” Boyles said. “If they’ve got good steak in Wichita, give me a call.” Several commissioners also had lighthearted comments for Kolb. “Good luck to you my friend,” Augusta Commissioner Richard Colclough said. “Get your long shorts out, you’ll need them.” After commissioners accepted Kolb’s resignation, they unanimously voted that Deputy Administrator Fred Russell would fill the vacant interim administrator position until a replacement for Kolb can be found.

“I want to express my appreciation to the council for having the honor of being the administrator of this government.” — Augusta’s former administrator George Kolb

Russell will be given a salary of $105,000 a year with a $250 monthly car allowance while serving as interim administrator. However, before Kolb was relieved of his duties, Young told the commissioners that Augusta probably hasn’t seen the last of the former administrator. “Don’t be surprised if we all hear from George next April looking for some tickets,” the mayor added, joking about Kolb’s avid love for golf and the Masters tournament. But there was one commissioner in the crowd of well-wishers that was smiling, but for a completely different reason. While Augusta Commissioner Marion Williams sat politely and listened to his fellow commissioners express how much they were going to miss Kolb, he later acknowledged he could barely contain himself. Williams said that during a closed legal meeting prior to the commission’s vote to release Kolb from his contract, his colleagues were more than ready to bid farewell to the administrator.

“Everybody behind the door was ready to send him off that minute,” Williams said, following the meeting. “But they get up there and act like there was a funeral going on. They get up there and act as if they were sad. “I understand that they ought to be polite. We all ought to be polite. But we did the right thing. It’s not a sad day. I think it’s a win-win situation for all of us. George saw the handwriting on the wall. He knew what was coming. We were going to eventually get rid of him, but he got another job instead. So, all I can say is, I wish George the best.” Last December, Williams’ six-month campaign to convince commissioners not to renew Kolb’s contract failed miserably, with only three commissioners voting not to extend Kolb’s agreement with the city. In March, there had been rumors circling the municipal building that the mayor and Williams had joined forces in an attempt to fire Kolb during Masters week, but that plan also failed to materialize.

A few months later, Kolb’s name began popping up on city manager candidate lists throughout the country, starting in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. and ending when Wichita’s city council selected Kolb as its new city manager. Williams said the situation couldn’t have worked out better for both parties. “It’s good for the city and worked out well where we didn’t have to terminate him,” Williams said, adding that he wished Kolb’s tenure in Augusta had run more smoothly. “What people don’t remember is, I voted for George to come here. I wanted him to do good, but it just didn’t work out. “And people want to blame me for it. The media wants to say, ‘Marion Williams did it. Marion Williams did it.’ Marion Williams didn’t do nothing. Marion Williams just called a spade a spade.” In his opinion, it was the other commissioners who were doing a major disservice to the city of Augusta. “Marion Williams was the only person that was outspoken about George,” Williams said. “All of the commissioners felt like I did, but nobody would say anything. I was the only one out there waving the red flag. But they agreed with what I said. “And I’ll admit, I was very adamant. I spoke out and said what I wanted to say and they wouldn’t. They let me take the heat. And I don’t mind taking the heat if it’s what’s best for this city.” That’s why Williams said he simply sat quietly while the other commissioners were commending Kolb for a “job well done.” “I wasn’t going to be hypocritical,” Williams said. “I have spoke out against George too many times for me to come out and say, ‘George, I’m sorry you’re leaving.’ I’m not going to lie like that. I’m not a pretender. And they shouldn’t have pretended either.” And for those critics who accuse him of running Kolb out of town, Williams had only one thing to say. “If Marion Williams has that much power, he must be one strong man,” Williams said, laughing. “If Marion Williams can run one man off with one vote, what does that say about the rest of the commissioners?”

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Photo by Brian Neill

Lewis Blanchard

Sheriff Clay Whittle

Columbia County Sheriff’s Race By Brian Neill

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

s a self-made businessman, Lewis Blanchard says he knows the importance of budgets. And in his opinion, the budget of the Columbia County Sheriff’s Office, under Sheriff Clay Whittle’s supervision, is out of control, having increased 122 percent since 1996. But Whittle, his incumbent opponent in the upcoming sheriff’s election on July 20, says Blanchard’s mathematical criticisms are nothing but “smoke and mirrors” intended to deceive the public. Blanchard accused the sheriff’s office of being top-heavy in its supervisory staff, which has contributed to the department’s ballooning budget — now at about $15 million annually. “It’s real simple: We’ve raised our supervisor-to-officer ratio to 1-to-2,” said Blanchard. “We have one supervisor for every two deputies of the certified staff of the

Columbia County Sheriff’s Office. That doesn’t make sense for any business.” However, Whittle said the method by which Blanchard arrived at that ratio — essentially, dividing the number of certified deputies by total supervisors — is flawed. “He’s “X”-ing out the rest of the employees and just using certified deputies. That’s smoke and mirrors to the public that he’s giving,” Whittle said. “There’s 307 employees, total, in the agency. The actual supervisory ratio in the agency is an average of 1-to-5. Best industry practices in law enforcement from anybody that you talk to will tell you that the span of control should never be greater than 1-to-6. And I’m talking the International Association of Chiefs of Police, National Sheriff’s Association. You name it.” This is the first entrance into politics for Blanchard, a 39-year-old entrepreneur who owns Executive Marketing Services, a local

company that assembles travel packages for corporate groups to sporting events like the Masters and the Super Bowl. Blanchard also is the former owner of the nightclubs Somewhere in Augusta and Last Call. Born in Augusta and raised in Columbia County, Blanchard worked with the Hilton Head Island Beach Patrol and Island Rescue Squad before returning to Columbia County in 1990. At that time, Blanchard says, he helped create the Columbia County School System Public Safety Department, while becoming its first certified police officer. Whittle, 44, has been with the Columbia County Sheriff’s Office since 1984, working his way up through the ranks until 1995, when he won a special election to replace the late Sheriff Otis Hensley. The following year, Whittle was elected to his first full, four-year term and again won reelection in 2000 with no opposition.

Although the July 20 election is actually the primary, the two Republicans face no Democratic or independent challengers, so it will, in essence, decide the race. Regarding Blanchard’s criticisms of the budget, Whittle again accused his opponent of manipulating numbers by arriving at the 122 percent increase. Whittle said the budget is actually broken into three components: The sheriff’s office, the 911 Communication Center and the detention center and Evans courthouse. The sheriff said the detention center and courthouse budget had increased 40 percent, alone, in the aftermath of Sept. 11 because of added security requirements. “We were given the task by the judges and county commissioners to secure our court facility,” Whittle said. “I’ve literally got officers in that building 24 hours a day.” continued on page 16

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continued from page 14 The budget portion belonging to the sheriff’s office had increased about 52 percent since 1996, due to demand for service in the county, which has grown in population by about 17 percent over that period of time, Whittle said. Whittle claims a 26 percent decrease in crime since he took office. The budget for the 911 Communications Center had also increased by about 40 percent, but Whittle said it is self-funded through telephone and cellular phone user fees. “I mean, he’s playing with the numbers. I understand that. But he has to,” Whittle said. “Because he’s out there with nothing to say — no experience, no record — so he’s got to run a campaign against mine. And I understand that. But he’s playing, again, smoke and mirrors.” Still, Blanchard insists that vital law enforcement positions have been cut from the sheriff’s office, particularly in the area of drug interdiction. Blanchard said there were once eight narcotics officers and now there are only three.

Investigation Team will do the investigation right beside the GBI,” Whittle said. “The GBI were there for the (July 2003 shooting). They did that investigation and my Force Investigation Team did it right there with them. The shooting a couple of years ago over off Wrightsboro Road, where one of our deputies had to shoot to defend himself and killed a suspect, the GBI immediately came. We called them into the scene. We don’t “X” out the GBI. What he’s saying is not true. “We work out here with the GBI every day, and the same thing with the State Patrol.” As for drug enforcement, Whittle said he only had one fewer narcotics officer than he previously did. Currently, Whittle said, he has four narcotics officers, a supervisor and two volunteer reserve deputies who each contribute 40 hours a week to drug enforcement. Whittle said he also successfully lobbied the late U.S. Sen. Paul Coverdell to have a Drug Enforcement Agency investigator placed in the Augusta Judicial Circuit, encompassing Columbia, Richmond and Burke counties.

“It’s real simple: We’ve raised our supervisor-toofficer ratio to 1-to-2. We have one supervisor for every two deputies of the certified staff of the Columbia County Sheriff’s Office. That doesn’t make sense for any business.” — Lewis Blanchard, candidate for Columbia County Sheriff

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He also criticized Whittle for not calling in outside investigators to investigate accidents involving deputy vehicles, as well as officer shootings. “If a deputy has a wreck in Columbia County, we work the wreck ourselves. That’s a policy that very few departments have,” Blanchard said. “In South Carolina, it’s illegal. You must bring in SLED (State Law Enforcement Division). Most departments, like Richmond County, if a deputy’s involved in a wreck, you bring in the state patrol.” Blanchard said the Georgia Bureau of Investigation investigates shootings involving deputies in almost every county in the state. “We don’t bring in the GBI if one of our deputies shoots somebody,” Blanchard said. Whittle, however, said that was untrue, adding that one only has to go back to news reports from July of last year to prove it. The sheriff was referring to an incident involving a Columbia County sheriff’s deputy who shot a suspect who was attempting to drive away with the officer clinging to the car. The GBI was called in to investigate the incident, along with the sheriff’s office’s internal affairs department. “Any time we have a shooting that involves an officer like that or some serious use of force, our investigators on the Force

“We’ve not cut or moved away from enforcing narcotics in this county,” Whittle said. “We’ve actually stepped up and increased the way we enforce narcotics laws in this county.” Responding to his opponent’s criticism that the sheriff’s office has not added another road patrol beat since 1996, Whittle said it hasn’t been necessary because of “proactive” allocation of deputies to certain county areas through a Crime Suppression Unit. “And that unit’s job is to primarily saturate an area where we’re having a problem,” Whittle said. “With a beat deputy, if you’ve got, say, eight thefts or entering autos taking place on his beat, he’s got to try and patrol those areas to catch those people, and the rest of his beat. In reality, just a beat deputy would be patrolling the whole beat, answering calls for service — barking dogs or theft, or lost or mislaid property when a person comes home and the tag is missing from the car or something like that. And the reality is, he doesn’t get the time to concentrate on the problem that’s taking place on his beat. So we went with a more proactive approach.” Ironically, given the back-and-forth between the two candidates, they are actually friends and their families are close.

Both acknowledged that has made the campaign a little awkward. “It is awkward, because I have a great amount of respect for his (Blanchard’s) mother and father — I love Sandra and Joe,” Whittle said. “They’re two of the greatest people I’ve ever met in my life. It makes it a little bit awkward, but I don’t let it get in the way.” Whittle said Sandra Blanchard even used to collect tickets at the front door of his campaign barbecues and held up his signs on election day. “They’re great fans and I appreciate all they’ve done for me,” Whittle said. “And they’ll be great friends on July 21. I love ‘em to death and you could not ask for a better family. The Blanchard name is a good name in Columbia County.” Lewis Blanchard’s uncle is Richmond County Superior Court Judge Jim Blanchard. His grandfather, James G. Blanchard, Jr., served on the Columbia County Commission and was its chairman from 1974 to 1976. “I still talk to him; he’s still a friend,” Lewis Blanchard said of his opponent. “It’s tough, don’t get me wrong. I mean, he’s hunted with my family and my dad for many years. It’s nothing personal, it really isn’t.” Despite the family friendships, however, things have heated up early on in the campaign. Blanchard’s campaign made headlines recently when headquarters staffers were alleged to have obtained a directory of sheriff’s office employees, along with their phone numbers and addresses. Blanchard denies any such list ever existed. “We have a couple of different lists,”

“I mean, he’s (Blanchard) playing with the numbers. I understand that. But he has to. Because he’s out there with nothing to say — no experience, no record — so he’s got to run a campaign against mine. And I understand that. But he’s playing, again, smoke and mirrors.” — Columbia County Sheriff Clay Whittle

Blanchard said. “We have one list that just has all of the names of (employees of) the Columbia County Sheriff’s Office and the divisions they are in. That’s an open records request that you can do at any time. I was actually given that by a deputy. It’s just a regular list with names on it. It doesn’t have Social Security numbers, it doesn’t have addresses, it doesn’t have date of birth, it doesn’t have anything except, ‘These are the deputies of the Columbia County Sheriff’s Office.’” Additionally, Blanchard said he had a list of deputies’ names and salaries, an item he

maintained could also be received through an open records request. Blanchard said he was told that some deputies had been given polygraphs regarding the dissemination of the alleged list and Whittle had assigned a full-time investigator to look into the matter. Whittle confirmed he had conducted an internal investigation into the matter after deputies complained information on them had been leaked. “I had a great number of employees who were offended by it,” Whittle said. “And they felt like they had been betrayed by a member

of the agency by (releasing) their personal addresses, which are not located anywhere else — are not. Anywhere you search, you cannot get them. I can assure you of that.” Blanchard, however, maintains that his campaign workers merely took the names and culled sources like church directories and phone listings to find the deputies’ other information The matter was turned over to the GBI and an official with the agency confirmed this week that the matter was still under investigation. Blanchard maintains that he never asked deputies for money or support in letters he sent to them, but merely introduced himself and told them why he was seeking the sheriff’s post. To prove it, Blanchard said, he posted the form letter on his Web site (www.blanchardforsheriff.com). Blanchard said he was currently in the process of tying up loose business ends in anticipation of being elected sheriff. He said he already has buyers lined up for Executive Marketing Services and was divesting himself of several rental properties in the area. If elected, Blanchard said, he vows to be highly visible, both in the community and among the department’s employees. “You will not see me as a micro-managing sheriff, but you will see me as an active and involved sheriff,” Blanchard said. “You will see me at muster, you will see me going out and riding with deputies at times, you will see me do whatever it takes to get the job done at the sheriff’s office. You will see me as an active sheriff, not just at election time.”

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004 17

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

Illustration by Stephen Eidson

Chaos in the Courtroom — By Stacey Eidson —

ames, a thin but towering 82year-old black man with white Albert Einstein-like hair and thick-rimmed glasses, stood before the bench of Richmond County Magistrate Court Judge Scott Allen on a recent Friday morning and told the court about the day he simply wanted to play a game of checkers with some friends from the neighborhood. “We were first playing cards, Spades. You know, Spades?” he asked the judge, as Allen acknowledged he was familiar with the game. “Well, this man I was playing with started arguing,” James said, waving his arms in the air, imitating the man’s outrageous behavior. Allen asked James the age of the other man. “I’m old enough to be his daddy,” James said, wearing a black suit and black tie with a stark-white dress shirt and white socks. In order to avoid getting in a fight, James said, he moved to a nearby table to play checkers. As he sat down, the man from the card game rushed to take the seat across from him and challenged him to a game of checkers. “I lost the game and the man demanded that I pay him $5,” James said. “I told him I was just playing for fun.” James explained that the younger man again made a huge scene, screaming and cussing, before abruptly turning around and leaving. The next thing James knew, the young man had returned. This time with a gun. James said he didn’t want any trouble, so he immediately started walking out to his car, but when he noticed that the younger man was following him, he

knew something had to be done. “So, I went out to my car and got my shotgun,” James said, as several people in the courtroom broke out in laughter. “And I told him, ‘I ain’t come here to stay forever.’” James said he meant that he was old enough to know that everyone must die some day, so he wasn’t going to be scared of a crazed man with a gun. But, James told the judge, once he brought out his shotgun, the younger man quickly retreated back home. “Now, I wouldn’t do it. I wouldn’t have shot him,” James told Allen. “When I was a young man, I would have set him on fire. I’d be standing here, but he wouldn’t be.” Welcome to an average day in Richmond County’s warrant application hearings. Four years ago, in May 2000, the Georgia Legislature approved a bill requiring a hearing be held for any person, other than a law enforcement or peace officer, applying for an arrest warrant against another private individual. During the warrant application hearing, both the person seeking the warrant and the accused are allowed to present evidence and cross-examine witnesses who were present during the alleged crime. Then, it’s up to the judge to decide whether an arrest warrant should be issued. “At the warrant application hearing, a determination shall be made whether or not probable cause exists for the issuance of a warrant for the arrest of the person whose arrest is sought,” Georgia law states. “If the judge or other officer finds that probable cause exists, the warrant may issue instanter (without delay).”

Requesting a warrant application hearing is simple. Very simple. “There’s a warrant office in the law enforcement center and you go down and fill out the application there,” Allen said. “The process before was, if there was probable cause that a crime had been committed, then the warrant was issued. Now, we are required to hold a hearing. But we can only schedule so many, and we have only one window a week for the hearings.” That window usually falls on Friday morning at 9 a.m. on the third floor of the municipal building. And the tales told during these warrant application hearings rival any juicy episode of “The People’s Court.” The Metro Spirit has decided to use only the first names of individuals involved in the warrant application hearings or simply describe the events in the courtroom, since the majority of those who went before the judge were not charged with a crime. On the same Friday, a 17-year-old white girl went before the court requesting that her older cousin be arrested for assaulting her while she was shopping with her mother at Ross Dress For Less. “You want to have your cousin arrested?” Allen asked the teenage girl in disbelief. “She is your cousin. You’re kin people.” The attractive, soft-spoken girl, dressed in a white sweater and sandals, told Allen that she was shopping with her mother and younger sister, when she noticed her cousin was also in the store. According to the teenager’s mother, who was also present at the hearing, she currently has unrelated charges pending against the cousin’s boyfriend.

So, needless to say, this was not a happy family reunion. When the mother approached the cousin, the two immediately began to argue. The mother and cousin appeared to be close in age. “I tried to get between them and stop them,” the teenage girl told the court. “I told them, ‘If you don’t stop, you both are going to get into trouble.’” The teenager said she was trying to prevent the entire family from being thrown out of the store, but the cousin allegedly started slapping the girl in the face. But when it was the cousin’s turn to testify before the judge, the story was very different. She said she was shopping by herself and suddenly felt a store’s shopping cart being shoved into her side. When she turned around, she said, she saw the teenage girl’s mother standing in front of her with the buggy. “She said, ‘You got something to say?’” the cousin said, adding that the teenager then pushed her to the floor. “I will not hit anyone, but if they hit me, it’s on,” the cousin said. “I didn’t have a choice.” Allen looked directly at the cousin, who was a grown woman, and said, “You certainly did have a choice.” He told the cousin there was no reason an adult should be slapping a 17-yearold in the face. Allen then turned to the teenage girl and encouraged her to let her mother and cousin solve their own differences. “Let grown-ups settle grown-up problems,” he said, announcing to both parties that he was not going to issue a warrant against the cousin. “I think the problem was, everybody there was ready to rumble.” continued on page 21

— James, an 82-year-old man who applied for an arrest warrant

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

“So, I went out to my car and got my shotgun. And I told him, ‘I ain’t come here to stay forever.’”

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“You want to have your cousin arrested? She is your cousin. You’re kin people.” — Richmond County Magistrate Court Judge Scott Allen, during a warrant application hearing continued from page 19 Polo bag to a man who was carrying it from her booth. The vendor quickly turned around and saw the couple with a child, walking away from her booth. The man was allegedly carrying the Polo handbag. “I started to walk after him,” the small Asian woman said. “My husband told me not to do it. It’s dangerous. But I’m not afraid. I’m little. But I’m not afraid.” As she approached the couple, the vendor said, the man hurriedly handed the bag to the little girl. “I went up and said, ‘You have my handbag. You did not pay for that handbag,’” the vendor said. “And I got out my cellular phone to call the police.” According to the vendor, the couple began yelling at her and saying that it was a mistake. Then, the couple accused her of not even selling genuine Polo bags. “They said my Polo handbag was not real,” the vendor said, clearly upset, as she showed her Polo bag to the judge. “People that sell knock-offs get arrested. My handbags are real.” The man accused of stealing the bag said he was not guilty of shoplifting. “My little niece grabbed the bag,” the man told the judge. “Even after the incident, I went back to the store to purchase the bag, but she told me she didn’t have it anymore,” the man added, pointing to the Polo bag in the vendor’s hands. While Allen told the two parties that he would like to make a ruling since both were present at the hearing, he said it would be unfair to issue a warrant against someone who was not listed on the warrant application.

He informed the vendor that she must go back and fill out a new warrant application for the correct individual that she thought had shoplifted her bag. “And I’ll ask Judge (William) Jennings to hear the evidence,” Allen said. “We’ll start fresh with a different judge. That’s the best way to be fair to both parties. ... I’ve heard too much.” While some women may agree a good, designer handbag is worth fighting for, many could argue that absolutely nothing is more important than topquality beauty supplies. However, little do most women know that some beauty products can be used as weapons. Two young black women, who appeared to be no older than their early 20s, went before Allen, each claiming they had been assaulted by the other woman outside It’s Amazing Beauty Supply store off Gordon Highway. Both women had filled out a warrant application requesting that the other be arrested. “She wanted to cut my face with an eyebrow archer,” said one of the women, who was tall and thin with short-cropped hair. Standing before the judge wearing green Converse tennis shoes, a neon green tank-top and large hoop earrings, the tall, thin woman described to Allen how the other woman allegedly slashed at her face with the eyebrow archer, a tool otherwise known as an eyebrow shaper that has tiny, wire-wrapped blades. “She ended up just scratching my face,” the tall woman said, pointing at her cheek.

When Allen asked why the other woman would want to do something like that to her, the tall woman, looking at the floor, said, “Honestly, I don’t know why.” “Try,” the judge bluntly said. All the tall woman could say was that she believed the other woman was mad at her because the woman’s father, who is married, was dating her sister. The judge then asked the other woman, who was shorter with long-braided hair, to tell him her side of the story. The shorter woman said she was buying some beauty supplies and, as she exited the store, the taller woman approached her with some other friends. “She said she was going to hit me in the face,” the shorter woman said, adding that the taller woman then began pulling her hair. “I was by myself. So I defended myself, but I never cut her with an eyebrow archer.” The shorter woman told the judge she went to the store to buy hair products and bobby-pins. “I did not even buy an eyebrow archer,” the shorter woman said. The judge finally cut both women off and pointed directly at each of them. “Well, the thing is, I either have to arrest both of you or neither of you, so what’s it going to be?” Allen asked. Both women looked at each other and agreed they wanted to drop the matter. Allen announced that he was not going to issue a warrant for either woman’s arrest, but left the women with a little advice. “You need to learn to live and let live,” the judge said. “Or one of you need to find a different beauty supply store.”

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

While the cousin didn’t face any charges this time, the judge left her with a stern warning, saying, “I really don’t want to see you down here again.” Ross Dress For Less wasn’t the only shopping area seeing some action recently. On the same hearing day, a petite Asian woman who operates a booth at Barnyard Flea Market of Augusta off Doug Barnard Parkway went before the judge asking that an arrest warrant be issued against a man who she believed tried to steal a Polo handbag from her booth. The only problem was, she accidentally took the warrant application out on the accused’s girlfriend instead of the man. “I did not know it was not a man’s name,” the flea market vendor said, as she laid her briefcase and the Polo handbag in question on a table before the judge. “It’s like Pat, that can be a woman’s name or a man’s name. When I got a copy (of the application), my friend said, ‘This is not a man’s name.’” The judge said the woman’s friend was exactly right. “This is definitely a woman’s name,” Allen said, reading the warrant application aloud. The vendor told the judge that on Saturday, May 1, she was busy showing another customer a purse when she noticed a couple looking at the Polo handbag, which is one of the most expensive items in her booth. “I said, ‘I’ll be with you in a moment,’” the vendor told the judge. A few minutes later, a woman who runs the neighboring booth rushed over and asked the vendor if she had sold her

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

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BITE Joe’s Underground Is a Dive — In a Good Way

By Amy Fennell Christian

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

oe’s Underground Café is a dive in every sense of the word, from the steep stairs (a la Cheers) you have to go down to get to its dimly lit room to the smell of cigarette smoke that lingers long after you leave. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. In fact, there’s a lot that’s right about Joe’s — the green walls plastered with all sorts of stickers, signs and memorabilia; the privacy the intense darkness affords; the music that’s just loud enough; and the friendliness of the staff. And, after all, where else can you get a peanut butter and banana sandwich or baked brie with almonds to go along with your drink? Yes, this little dive has a few surprises up its sleeve when it comes to its bar food. Long a favorite lunch spot for downtowners, Joe’s is also a great laid-back place for dinner. On a recent evening, the dark, lowceilinged room was far from full, but a diverse group of people shared the space in a companionable, almost eerie, silence punctuated only now and then by raucous laughter. The inventive and off-beat food menu I had no problem with, but I wish Joe’s had a list of bottled beers (not to mention a more interesting selection of draft beer). Our waitress/bartender/cook didn’t seem to know what beers were available either, since she asked us to give a second choice in case our first wasn’t available. (We ended up with our second choice, by the way, which was fine.) We had much better luck with the food menu, and I, for one, was impressed with the diverse choices.

In addition to the aforementioned pb&b and brie, there were other interesting choices like the Cajun dog, a link of andouille sausage topped with remoulade. We decided to each get a sandwich and split a white boboli — an individual pizza with olive oil, garlic, cheese, and diced tomatoes and onions. Well-flavored with lots of garlic, its mix of ingredients proved to be an interesting take on something that might otherwise have been pretty ordinary. It’s listed on the menu as an individual meal, but we found that it was the perfect size for a shared appetizer. The wait for our boboli lasted a bit

longer than I thought it should have, but our sandwiches arrived only a few short minutes after we had finished the appetizer. My chicken Philly — thin slices of chicken with onions, mushrooms (added for an extra charge) and cheese — was a yummy, gooey mixture that surprisingly stayed intact (well, mostly intact) on the crusty roll. It was served with a side of skin-on potato salad that also held together well, although it was a little bland for my taste. Other side items available included cole slaw and chips. Also ordered was a German dog with sauerkraut and spicy brown mustard, which I earlier called a

sandwich because it was served on a crusty roll instead of a traditional hot dog bun. It was a pungent mixture and good if you like that sort of thing. Service, at least the night we went, was a little slow but, hey, this is a bar and there’s no reason to rush through a beer … or a dinner good and interesting as this one was. Joe’s Underground Café is located at 144 8th at Broad Street, 724-9457. Hours are 11:30-3 a.m. Monday through Friday and 5 p.m.-2 a.m. Saturday. They accept most major credit cards.

in the mix Melissa Lockhart loves her job at Logan’s for a slightly different reason that one might expect. Not only does she get good tips, this self-professed tomboy gets to indulge in her favorite hobby — watching sports — while she works. “My whole day revolves around what time the game comes on,” says Melissa, whose favorite teams are the 49ers and the Braves. Not only that, she has an entire room devoted to sports memorabilia. (“That’s the only thing I enjoy shopping for.”). So what does she do when not watching the game? “I play a lot of PlayStation,” she says. Who was your favorite “Sesame Street” character? Oscar. He just made me laugh. He was the oddball in the group.

Photo by Joe White

Do you have a bad date escape plan? Oh yeah, I just go to the bathroom and don’t come back. I always drive on the first date. I always bring my car. I have to get to know you before I’m trapped in a car with you.

You usually get caught … Anytime I try to retrieve my underwear from my hindquarters I usually get caught. What reality show do you wish would go away, never to return? I’m torn between “The Bachelorette” and that “Swan” thing. The girls just get on my nerves on “The Bachelorette” and the “Swan” thing is so unbelievable that someone would go and become a whole different person. That’s really scary. Who would you like to switch places with for a day? Jennifer Aniston. I don’t think anyone needs to ask why. What’s one thing that really annoys you? People who do 45 in the fast lane on Bobby Jones. Get over!

What’s the weirdest food combination you enjoy eating? A slice of cheese around a pickle. I usually don’t admit to that.

What are the last three CDs you bought? I actually had to replace my “I Will Survive” — Gloria Gaynor — because my dog chewed it up, 3 Doors Down and Norah Jones’ second album.

Who do you really hope never makes a comeback? The Fine Young Cannibals or Right Said Fred. They’re pretty close.

What’s the last great movie you saw? I just watched “Kill Bill, Volume I” last night and I guess that would be it. I really liked that.

Melissa LockhartBartender, Logan’s Roadhouse T HE B UILDERS A SSOCIATION O F M ETRO A UGUSTA, I NC. PRESENTS THE

2004

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ART S Two Apparently Unrelated Exhibits by Memphis Artists

By Rhonda Jones

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

hen one talks to artists, one never knows where the conversation will lead. That’s why one enjoys it so much. Susan Maakestad, who is showing her stuff at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art in June and July, was one such artist. Luckily, one knows enough art jargon that it is apparent one has spoken with artists before, enough words to get a conversation going. The word in question this go ‘round was “minimalist.” Though saying Maakestad’s paintings are not very busy is a huge understatement, she doesn’t consider herself one. “Not with a capital M. The minimalist movement, that’s not me, but I do pare things down.” You won’t find people or cars in her paintings, for instance. I asked what she considered the most important things. Off the top of her head, she said, apologizing in case she sounded cryptic, are “space and color,” with color having a lot to do with light. “You might not see pink concrete in real life, but it works in a painting, in an unusual lighting situation. I grew up in the Midwest, and I’m used to being able to see the horizon. There isn’t a lot to obstruct your view. You can see some amount of space, and those are things that artists talk about, that painters talk about.” I asked her about a particular painting — “River Walk #7,” a monochromatic piece that catches the eye with odd lines and leaves much of the experience up to the viewer’s own imagination. She laughed and said she had no idea there was an actual riverwalk in Augusta until she came last week for her artist’s talk. She has a whole series of “River Walk” paintings, which she named off the top of her head. She compares “River Walk #7” to a drawing, because it is a watercolor and she uses watercolors as prototypes for oil, as many artists use drawings as prototypes for paintings. “When I do the watercolors I start to see what I’m not really interested in.” When asked if there was a philosophy inherent in her art, she began to talk about the environment, and what it’s like to be a city-dwelling landscape artist. She said you can either forget your surroundings or embrace them. “I don’t necessarily like parking lots — paving all the grass, cutting down all the trees. It bothers me.” She said the trick is to “accept it but not accept it.” “Maybe that’s where the tension lies,” she said. “We (artists) ask a lot of questions with our work — probably more than answering them. I heard somebody say once that artists are problem seekers instead of problem solvers.”

LEFT TO RIGHT: “UNTITLED (UNDERSTAND)” BY HAMLETT DOBBINS, 2001, HANDMADE INK ON PAPER, 5” X 7”; “PARKING ISLAND” BY SUSAN MAAKESTAD, 2003, OIL ON CANVAS, 14” X 17”; “THE TIDE” BY ANITA HUFFINGTON, 2001, BRONZE, 20” X 33” X 15”. Her own work habits seem to bear that out, she said. “Once I have something really figured out I get bored and start working on something else.” I told her she sounded like a scientist, at which point she told me that she had once worked for a physicist while between teaching jobs. “I was interested in their research — I didn’t understand it exactly. Artists and scientists have a lot in common, trying to figure things out.” She has also won a residency through the Science Museum of Minnesota. She says that having the desire to question things as scientists and artists does keep you alert, and that is what she tries to impart to her art students at the Memphis College of Art in Tennessee. “They’re used to spitting out an answer,” she said. “When they come out of high school into college, it’s kind of a shock that they’re not just following directions. They have to find their own direction.” Oh, and she said that she hopes Augustans are able to “really nurture” downtown and the Riverwalk. “(Visiting) was a real pleasure. I just had a great experience.” In addition to Maakestad’s work will be the work of her fellow Memphis artist Hamlett Dobbins … the third. “Yeah, since I’ve got two t’s that sort of gets rid of the Shakespeare question,” he said. “My great-grandparents were farmers. When they first borrowed money from an old family friend, his last name was Hamlett, so they named their son after him.” Dobbins’ work is abstract. The pieces I’ve seen are full of earthtones. “When you look at it you can tell that there’s a connection to the landscape,” he said.

I asked what inspires him. “I guess just kind of anything. For the most part, things that are outside colors or shades. Then again, I get inspired by movies or TV or poems or stories. Lots of things.” He said that, since his studio lacks a window, he keeps a movie going while he works, or else he puts up photographs of his friends. “A lot of influence comes from them as well.” It’s a good thing that Dobbins has figured out how to live in his studio space, because he gets to spend an enviable amount of time there. “I work as a curator for a small liberal arts college, and also teach for the Memphis College of Art here in Memphis. It’s just part-time, so that leaves me a good amount of time in the studio.” I asked him why he chose abstract art. He said that artists can be divided into two types — Lincoln Log artists and Lego artists. He’s of the Lego persuasion. “Somehow I think I’m just a little more connected to abstraction, not necessarily sticking to a script, getting something visually right, in terms of anatomy and things like that.” There is yet another interesting artist on display in Augusta, at the Morris Museum of Art — Anita Huffington. Though I did not get the opportunity to speak with her, I did speak with an official at the Lisa Kurts Gallery in Memphis, Tenn., from whence the Morris exhibit hails. To my knowledge, this exhibit has nothing to do with the Gertrude Herbert exhibit, despite the Memphis connection. Anyway, Huffington is apparently quite the celebrity in the art world. According to her page on the University of Arkansas Web site at www.uark.edu, she went to New York several decades ago to study dance and wound

up hanging out with artists such as Franz Kline and Willem de Kooning. Eventually, though, she gave up the fastpaced New York art community for the seclusion of the Ozarks. And now she’s coming to Augusta, with a collection of absolutely breathtaking nudes. These nudes are not entire bodies, however, and some of them are so subtle, you have to look at them for several seconds before figuring out what it is. She explains this on the University of Arkansas site in her artist’s statement. “I often carve torsos or fragments of the body, believing that the part can be as expressive as the whole,” she says in her artist’s statement. She equates the sculptures with “totem objects” that celebrate the ordinary. There is, however, nothing ordinary about her work.

Exhibit: “The Elemental Nude: Recent Sculpture by Anita Huffington” Dates: June 17-Aug. 1 Artist Reception: June 17, 6-8 p.m. Venue: Morris Museum of Art Contact: (706) 724-7501 Exhibit: “Paradise or Parking Lot?: Contemporary Views by Susan Maakestad and Hamlett Dobbins” Dates: Through July 23 Venue: Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art Contact: (706) 722-5495

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“Anne of Green Gables” To Show at Aiken Community Playhouse By Rhonda Jones

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es, friends and neighbors, it is indeed a stage production. The popular children’s classic by Lucy Maud (or L.M.) Montgomery has been adapted to just about every medium in existence over the years, even ballet. For those of you unfamiliar with the premise, Anne is an orphan who goes to live with the Cuthberts of Green Gables, a farm on Prince Edward Island. The spirited 11-year-old is quite a surprise for them, apparently, as they had sent for an orphaned boy to help on the farm, for one thing, and for another — well, she’s a redhead, with everything that comes along with it. And, as you may imagine, adventure follows wherever she goes. For those of you who become hooked — or re-hooked, as the case may be — “Anne of Green Gables” is the first in a series of books about Anne Shirley, so don’t fret. If it’s the author you fall in love with, there are other storygirls in her repertoire as well. Here is a list: “Anne of Green Gables,” “Anne of Avonlea,” “Kilmeny of the Orchard,” “The Story

Girl,” “Chronicles of Avonlea,” “The Golden Road,” “Anne of the Island,” “The Watchman & Other Poems,” “Anne’s House of Dreams,” “Rainbow Valley,” “Further Chronicles of Avonlea,” “Rilla of Ingleside,” “Emily of New Moon,” “Emily Climbs,” “The Blue Castle,” “Emily’s Quest,” “Magic for Marigold,” “A Tangled Web,” “Pat of Silver Bush,” “Courageous Women,” “Mistress Pat,” “Anne of Windy Poplars,” “Jane of Lantern Hill,” “Anne of Ingleside” and “The Road to Yesterday.” It’s certainly enough to keep you busy for a day or two. Production: “Anne of Green Gables” Company: Aiken Community Theatre Youth Wing Dates: June 25-27, July 2-3 Venue: Washington Center for the Performing Arts, Aiken, S.C. For Info: (803) 648-1438 or visit www.aikencommunityplayhouse.com

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Kids

Learning

Volunteers

Sports

Calendar Health

Education

Out of Town Music

Special

Benefits Meetings Theater Auditions Exhibitions Attractions MuseumsArts Seniors Dance Arts

Grass June 17, Blues Express June 24, Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold July 1, Thelma Robinson and Divine Providence July 15 and Fresh Music All-Star Big Band July 29. Call (803) 442-7588.

Auditions

THE CANDLELIGHT JAZZ SERIES continues with Preston & Weston June 20, The Section June 27, the TV 26 Riverblast Celebration (free) July 4, A Step Up July 11, accousticJAZZ July 18 and Mellow-D July 25. Concerts take place at the Eighth Street Bulkhead, downtown Augusta. Contact GordonMusic@aol.com, call quietSTORM at (706) 495-6238 or Riverwalk Special Events at (706) 821-1754.

ENOPION THEATRE COMPANY is looking for volunteers to act, sing, sew, build and more for their new musical, “Creation.” Applications are available at www.imaryproductions.com or by calling (803) 442-9039. SWEET ADELINES HARMONY RIVER CHORUS OPEN REHEARSAL for singers each Thursday at 7 p.m. at Church of Christ, 600 Martintown Rd. in North Augusta. They are on the lookout for voices in the lower ranges. Contact Stacy Branch at 877-9931.

HOT SOUTHERN NIGHTS with Gary Allen & The Marshall Tucker Band at Lake Olmstead Stadium in Augusta, June 19. Tickets available at www.tixonline.com, or inside Harmon Optical at Southgate Plaza. Call (803) 278-4849 for info or to charge by phone.

AUGUSTA PLAYERS will hold auditions for “West Side Story” at 7 p.m. on Thursday and Friday, June 24-25, and 7 p.m. on July 8-9 at the First Baptist Church of North Augusta, 602 Georgia Avenue. Roles are available for men and women ages 17 and up. Everyone auditioning must have a prepared solo, and will be required to learn a dance combo and read from the script. Call 826-4707 or visit the Web site at www.augustaplayers.com. THE 2004 SANKOFA PICNIC & BAZAAR, presented by Manna Ministries, is looking for area performers, groups and vendors to join various festivities geared toward African and Caribbean heritage. The festival will take place at the Sweetwater Activity Center in Thomson, Ga., on Aug. 7, from 10 a.m.-10 p.m. for a full day of family activities and gospel extravaganza. Applicants can call Adrian Perry at (706) 793-0566.

Education ISRAELI DANCE WORKSHOP at the Augusta Jewish Community Center Sunday afternoons, 4-5 p.m. Open to teens and adults; no experience or partners are necessary. Cost is $2 per session, with the first session free. For information or to schedule a pre-class beginner/refresher session, contact Jackie Cohen, 7389016. ART CLASSES AND WORKSHOPS are offered yearround at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art. Classes and workshops are open to toddlers through adults and feature instruction in drawing, painting, photography, pottery, weaving and sculpture. For a newsletter or detailed information on registering for classes at the Gertrude Herbert, call 722-5495. The Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art also offers educational tours; for information, contact the education director at the above telephone number.

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

ART CLASSES FOR CHILDREN AND ADULTS at the Art Factory. The Art Factory also has a homeschool program and scholarships. Programs include painting, pottery, pilates, hip-hop, modern dance and more. Classes are held at the Art Factory, 418 Crawford Ave., or at the Augusta Jewish Community Center. Call 731-0008 for details. .

Exhibitions

THE 521 ALL-STARS: A CHAMPIONSHIP STORY OF BASEBALL AND COMMUNITY will be on display at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History through June 30.

CAROLINA BEACH BLAST, featuring the Swingin’ Medallions, The Original Tams and Shagtime. Show is June 26 at Carolina Dragway on Jackson, S.C. Tickets available at www.tixonline.com, inside Harmon Optical at Southgate Plaza in Augusta. Call (803) 278-4849 for info or to charge by phone.

CSRA GREYHOUND ADOPTIONS WILL PAY ALL EXPENSES IF YOU FOSTER A RETIRED RACER LIKE THIS ONE. SO, IS THERE ANY WAY YOU COULD REFUSE? WE DIDN’T THINK SO. SO, CALL 854-0098 FOR MORE INFO. NOW! THE SOUTH CAROLINA WATERCOLOR SOCIETY presents its 27th annual awards exhibition which is on display at the Aiken Center for the Arts at 122 Laurens Street in Aiken through June 26. Eighty paintings have been selected for the exhibition and $10,000 in artist awards were presented to the top 30 artists. For info, call (678) 721-2506. MARY PAULINE GALLERY is closed July 18-31 for vacation. Call (706) 724-9543. WILLIAM AND ANN OPPENHIMER COLLECTION on view through Aug. 15 at the Morris Museum of Art. Museum will be closed June 29-30. Call 724-7501. PARADISE OR PARKING LOT? Exhibit to show through July 23 in the Main Gallery of the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art. “Paradise or Parking Lot? Contemporary Views by Susan Maakestad and Hamlett Dobbins” explores what happens when two artists move from the country to the big city, where their environmental influence and inspiration shifts from natural meadows to skyscrapers and parking lots. Regular gallery hours are Tuesday-Friday from 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Saturdays by appointment only. Call (706) 722-5495 or visit www.ghia.org.

Dance THE AUGUSTA INTERNATIONAL FOLK DANCE CLUB

meets Thursday evenings at 7:30 p.m. No partners are needed and newcomers are welcome. Call 737-6299 for location and info. AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF THE UNITED STATES AMATEUR BALLROOM DANCERS ASSOCIATION holds a dance the first Saturday of each month, from 7:15-11 p.m. Cost is $7 for members and $10 for non-members. Held at the BPOE facility on Elkdom Court. Contact Melvis Lovett, 733-3890, or Jean Avery, 8634186, for information. THE CHRISTIAN SOCIAL ORGANIZATION FOR SINGLE ADULTS hosts weekly Saturday evening dances, free of smoking and alcohol, at Westside High School on Patriots Way. Call (803) 442-7929.

Music HOPELANDS SUMMER CONCERT SERIES concerts take place at Hopeland Gardens in Aiken at 7 p.m. Concerts will be held every Sunday through August on the Roland H. Windham Performing Arts Stage. Performances will include a variety of music styles, as well as dance and vocal concerts. Please bring a lawn chair or blanket to sit on. Food is welcome but alcohol is prohibited. Upcoming performances are Fort Gordon Stage Band June 21, Heather McCleskey June 28, Parris Island Marine Band July 5. In case of inclement weather, please call 643-4661 for info. CONCERTS IN THE PARK, presented by the North Augusta Cultural Arts Council, features Savannah River

MUSIC AND ART IN THE PARK continues at the Creighton Living History Park at the corner of West Avenue and Spring Grove in downtown North Augusta, at 7 p.m. Savannah River Grass bluegrass band will play June 17. Call Daryl Hudson at (803) 649-6641 or visit www.savannahrivergrass.com. June 24 brings Blues Express (R&B). There will also be concerts on July 1, 15 and 29. Call 278-0938 for info. BORDERS presents live music by Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold (bluegrass) June 18, Paul Gordon (light rock) June 19, Tara Scheyer June 25 and Greg Austin June 26. Call (706) 737-6962.

Theatre THE ABBEVILLE OPERA HOUSE presents “Smoke on the Mountain” at 8 p.m. June 18-19, 25-26 and 3 p.m. June 19 and 26. Tickets $17 general admission; $16 seniors 65 or older. For reservations, call (864) 3662157 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Monday-Friday. THE AUGUSTA PLAYERS YOUTH THEATRE presents “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” June 17-19. Call 8264707. THE AIKEN COMMUNITY PLAYHOUSE Youth Wing presents “Anne of Green Gables” June 25-27, July 2-3. “Butterflies Are Free” is a Main Stage production, and a members-only appreciation show, to be held July 3031 and Aug. 1, 6 and 7. For info, call (803) 648-1438. ASU’S BORN TO READ LITERACY CENTER & PATCHWORK PLAYERS present “Rapunzel”June 29 at ASU’s Maxwell Performing Arts Theatre at 9 a.m., 10 a.m. and 11 a.m. Tickets are $3 per person, adults and children. “Aladdin and the Genie” will be presented at the same times on July 28. Call (706) 733-7043 or visit www.aug.edu/lcenter.

Attractions

children get in for 50 cents. For more information, call 724-0436.

MOTORIZED TOURS OF HISTORIC AIKEN every Saturday, 10-11:30 a.m. Tours leave from the Washington Center for the Performing Arts. Reservations are required, and patrons must be age 2 and older. (803) 642-7631.

PHINIZY SWAMP NATURE PARK: See egrets, blue herons, river otters and elusive alligators in their natural setting, just minutes from downtown Augusta. The park has observation decks, boardwalks and several nature trails suitable for hiking. The Family Discovery Series presents a Frog Serenade Thursday, June 17 at 7:30. The Gator Gang Kids Club meets June 22. Science Camp: Watershed Adventures for rising 8th-12th-graders meets June 28-July 2. For information about these programs and more, call the Southeastern Natural Sciences Academy office at 828-2109.

AUGUSTA CANAL INTERPRETIVE CENTER: Housed in Enterprise Mill, the center contains displays and models focusing on the Augusta Canal’s functions and importance to the textile industry. Hours are Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m. and Sun., 1-6 p.m. Admission is $5 adult, $4 seniors and military and $3 children ages 6-18. Children under 6 admitted free. Guided boat tours of the Augusta Canal will increase in frequency and length starting June 1 — one-hour tours will be offered three times a day, Monday-Friday, with an additional trip on Saturday. The full-length trip, which lasts approximately two and a half hours, will depart at 6 p.m. Saturdays. The one-hour summer tour schedule is Monday-Friday, 10 a.m., 11:15 a.m., 1:30 p.m.; Saturday, 10 a.m., 11:15 a.m., 1:30 p.m., 3 p.m. On Monday, June 21, prepare to be greeted by “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” characters courtesy of Behnd the Masque. Boarding at 8 pm. The 49-passenger Petersburg boats depart from the docks at Enterprise Mill, 1450 Greene Street, weather and water conditions permitting. Boarding begins 15 minutes prior to scheduled departure. Reservations suggested. Tour tickets are $6 adults, $5 seniors and $4 students and children. On Father’s Day, June 20, the Augusta Canal Authority will honor the “fathers” of the Augusta Canal with an official christening ceremony for its Petersburg boats, The Henry Cumming and The William Phillips. For tour information, call 823-7089. For other info, visit www.augustacanal.com or call 823-0440, ext. 4. THE BOYHOOD HOME OF WOODROW WILSON: Circa 1859 Presbyterian manse occupied by the family of President Woodrow Wilson as a child during the Civil War and Reconstruction. Original and period antiques, restored house, kitchen and carriage house. 419 Seventh Street. Open 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Tues.-Sat. Tours available; groups of 10 or more by appointment only. Admission is $5 adults, $4 seniors, $3 students under 18 and free for ages 5 and under. 722-9828. AUGUSTA GOLF & BOTANICAL GARDENS OF THE GEORGIA GOLF HALL OF FAME features beautiful display gardens, as well as bronze sculptures of some of golf’s greatest masters. Available for rent for a variety of functions. Group discount rates available. Closed Mondays; open from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Tues.-Sat.; open from 1-5 p.m. on Sunday. Admission is $5.50 for adults; $4.50 for students, seniors and military; $3.50 for children (412); free for children 3 and under. Sundays are two for one with a Super Sunday coupon. Annual garden memberships are available. Call 724-4443 or 1-888-8744443. Also, visit their Web site at www.gghf.org. GEORGIA GOLF HALL OF FAME’S BOTANICAL GARDENS, Augusta, Ga., continues its Roots of Gardening series June 17 from 6:30-7:30 p.m. with a program on maintenance, including watering and fertilizing, mulching and what to plant now. Educational sessions will feature local experts, including Jenny Addie, Milledge and Joanne Peterson and master gardeners Jim Blount and Bill Adams. There will be separate, hands-on, fun activities available for children during these sessions. Event costs $3 per person, with garden members attending free. Contact (706) 724-4443. NATIONAL SCIENCE CENTER’S FORT DISCOVERY: Children and adults alike can immerse themselves in the wonders of science through live demonstrations, virtual realities, Starlab, KidScape and more than 250 hands-on exhibits. General Admission: $8 for adults; $6 for children, seniors and active military. Group rates available. Operating hours: Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sunday, noon-5 p.m. Call 821-0200, 1-800-325-5445 or visit their Web site at www.NationalScienceCenter.org. REDCLIFFE STATE HISTORIC SITE: 1859 mansion of S.C. Governor James Henry Hammond, held by the family for three generations until 1975. Grounds and slave quarters are open Thursday-Monday, 9 a.m.-6 p.m. House tours will be offered at 1, 2 and 3 p.m. Admission to the grounds is free. Fee for house tours is $3 for adults and children ages 6-17. For more information, call (803) 8271473. Located at 181 Redcliffe Road, Beech Island.

Museums THE GERTRUDE HERBERT INSTITUTE OF ART in Ware’s Folly exhibits works by local and regional artists. Art classes, workshops and other educational programming for children, youth and adults are held in the WalkerMackenzie Studio. Open Tuesday-Friday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Saturday by appointment only. Admission is free, but a donation of $2 for adults and $1 for children and seniors is encouraged. Call 722-5495 or visit www.ghia.org for more info. THE AUGUSTA MUSEUM OF HISTORY hosts permanent exhibition “Augusta’s Story,” an award-winning exhibit encompassing 12,000 years of local history. For the younger crowd, there’s the Susan L. Still Children’s Discovery Gallery, where kids can learn about history in a hands-on environment. History Camp 2004, titled Survivor: Settlers and Skills, will take place June 21-25 for kids 8-10. Located at 560 Reynolds Street. Open Tuesday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sunday, 1-5 p.m. New permanent exhibition, “Into the Interior: A History of the Georgia Railroad and Banking Company” also available. Admission is $4 adult, $3 seniors, $2 kids (6-18 years of age) and free for children under 6. Free admission on Sundays. Call 722-8454 or visit www.augustamuseum.org for more information. THE MORRIS MUSEUM OF ART hosts exhibitions and special events year-round. “Forces in the Body: Sculpture by Anita Huffington” will be on display through Aug. 1. Gallery discussion with the artist June 17, 7 p.m. Admission is $3 for adults, $2 for seniors, free for students with ID and museum members. Closed on Mondays and major holidays. 1 Tenth Street, Augusta. Call 724-7501 or visit www.themorris.org for details.

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THE MUSEUM OF LAUREL AND HARDY OF HARLEM, GEORGIA features displays of various Laurel and Hardy memorabilia; films also shown. Located at 250 N. Louisville Street in downtown Harlem. Open 1-4 p.m. Thursday-Monday. For more information, call 556-0401. LUNCH AT NOON LECTURE SERIES held the second Wednesday of every month at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History, 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Call the museum at 724-3576 for more information.

Special Events AUGUSTA SHOWCASE, an economic development campaign to market the area to potential business residents, will soon be underway. The Augusta Metro Chamber of Commerce is giving presentations on the effort. Contact Tammy Stout, 722-8326, ext. 2, to schedule a speaker for your club or civic group. ANNUAL SKI & OUTING CLUB LAKE PARTY will be held June 26-27 at the Ridge Road Campground at Lake Thurmond. There will be a low country boil at 4 p.m. on the 26th. Campsites available. Free to members, and a $5 fee for non-member. For info, call (706) 651-0905. THE MINICINE FILM FEST will be held at the Bee’s Knees in downtown Augusta, June 17th. Call 828-3600 or 667-4717.

THE EZEKIEL HARRIS HOUSE: Deemed “the finest 18thcentury house surviving in Georgia” by the “Smithsonian Guide to Historic America.” Open Saturday, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. General admission is $2; senior admission is $1 and

FIRST ANNUAL FATHERS’ DAY PICNIC will be held June 20, noon-3 p.m., hosted by the newly formed Augusta Chapter of Fathers Are Parents Too, Inc. The event is for divorced, separated and remarried fathers, and will serve

AUGUSTA VISITORS INFORMATION CENTER open Mon.Sat., 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sun. 1-5 p.m. Located inside the Augusta Museum of History. Call 724-4067.

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METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

SACRED HEART CULTURAL CENTER is offering tours of its 100-year-old building Mon.-Fri., 9 a.m.-5 p.m. $1 per person, children free. 826-4700.

THE AUGUSTA FARMERS MARKET ON BROAD is held every Saturday from 8 a.m.-1 p.m. until Sept. 25. Located beside Health Central on Macartan Street from 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Accepting applications from vendors. Call (706) 722-7245.

Annual Candle Sale

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THIS IS A STILL FROM THE SHORT FILM “SUMMERS DAY” WHICH WILL SHOW AT THE BEE’S KNEES, JUNE 17TH. as an informal organization for the group. FAPT is a Georgia-based group that promotes responsible fatherhood, fathers remaining an active part of their children’s lives, changing Georgia’s child custody and visitation laws and public awareness. For info, call 373-7803 or 231-2311.

SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER BLOOD DRIVES in various locations around the CSRA this month. For detailed information on locations and times to donate, visit www.shepeardblood.org. You may also call Susan Edwards at (803) 643-7996 for information on Aiken locations and Nancy Szocinski at 737-4551 for information on all other locations.

THE ARSENAL OAK AT ASU is scheduled to be cut down June 18. At 8:30 a.m., June 17, there will be a ceremony to commemorate its life at the site of the oak. President William A. Bloodworth Jr. will preside. Call (706) 7371444. CSRA GREYHOUND ADOPTIONS will hold a meet and greet at SuperPetz on Bobby Jones Hwy., June 19 from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Visit www.csragreyhoundadoptions.org or call Sam Fulton at 854-0098.

AMERICAN RED CROSS BLOOD DRIVES take place at the Aiken Red Cross Blood Center on Millbrook Drive and the Augusta Red Cross Blood Center on Pleasant Home Road. The Bloodmobile will also stop at various area locations this week. For a complete list, call the Aiken Blood Center at (803) 642-5180 or the Augusta Blood Center at 868-8800. GOLDEN HARVEST FOOD BANK needs volunteer groups of 10-20 people, ages 13 and up, on most Saturdays to help sort through donated products. If you’re looking for a group activity that is a little active, where you can help a good cause with your friends, call Laurie Harmon at 7361199, ext. 208. No walk-ins please. If a group is not scheduled, we will not be open. The morning shift is 8:30-noon and the afternoon shift is 1-4 p.m.

BLOOD DRIVE June 25 from 2-8 p.m. at Walgreen Drug Store in Evans. Look for the Bloodmobile. Picture ID required. Call Shepeard Community Blood Center at 7374551 or 854-1880. THE ASSOCIATION OF FUNDRAISING PROFESSIONALS presents Jean Embry, Ph.D. to speak on the topic “How to Tell Your Nonprofit’s Story,” June 18, from 11:30 a.m.1 p.m. at the Partridge Inn on Walton Way. For reservations and info, call Brenda Durant at (706) 826-4702, ext. 1. TURN OUT THE STARS will be presented at the Augusta Civic Center on June 25. Call the box office at (207) 6262400 for info. FATHERS ARE PARENTS TOO, AUGUSTA CHAPTER, is a newly formed local organization for the support of divorced, separated and remarried fathers. They will hold their first annual Father’s Day picnic at Pendleton-King Park in the large covered pavilion on June 20 from noon3 p.m. Call Terry Pitts at 373-7803 or Brook Facey at 231-2311 or visit www.augustaFAPT.org. MEET THE CANDIDATES SOCIAL, presented by the Aiken County Democratic Party, takes place June 18 at the American Legion Post 212 in Aiken. Call (803) 649-5014.

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

A hilarious but practical advice column on love, dating, and relationships.

AUGUSTA GALLERY PASS allows you to purchase one ticket for entrance into nine participating Augusta area attractions, for a savings of $20. Call (803) 278-4849, visit www.tixonline.com or stop by the tixonline outlet at Harmon Optical at Southgate Plaza, Augusta. 2004 SUPERTOYS EXPO will take place June 26 at the Aiken Mall, 10 a.m.-6 p.m. featuring RVs, boats, custom motorcycles, hot rods, metal detectors, home theater, ATVs, watercraft and more. Call Christopher Rieke at (706) 645-4442.

Benefits AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL is in need of dog and cat food, cat litter and other pet items, as well as monetary donations to help pay for vaccinations. Donations accepted during regular business hours, Tues.-Sun., 1-5 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Call 790-6836 for information.

FREE PRODUCE from the Manna Truck at Augusta First Church of the Nazarene on Lumpkin Road in Augusta, from 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. on Saturday, June 19. Call (706) 793-2251.

Learning USC-AIKEN CONTINUING EDUCATION offers Paralegal Certificate Course, Taming the Wild Child, Conversational French, Italian, Spanish for the Beginner, Sign Language, Debt-Free Living and more. “Travelearn” learning vacations for adults and Education to Go online courses also available. For info, phone (803) 641-3563. AIKEN TECH CONTINUING EDUCATION offers Education to Go classes online, as well as computer classes, massage therapy, medical coding and billing, motorcycle safety, driver education and more. For more information or to register, call (803) 593-9231, ext. 1230. GED CLASSES are offered by the Community Resource Center. Tuition is free. Call 722-4999 for more information. SERVICE CORPS OF RETIRED EXECUTIVES (SCORE) provides counseling and mentoring to business people either starting or continuing their business. Counseling is free and administered by retired executives. For more information, call 793-9998. AUGUSTA STATE UNIVERSITY CONTINUING EDUCATION is now offering courses in the following areas: foreign languages, history, personal enrichment, dance, exercise, youth, college admissions workshops, music, real estate, medical coding, investing, computer basics and more. There are also many online courses. For info, call 7371636 or visit www.ced.aug.edu. FREE TUTORING offered at Augusta State University’s Born to Read Literacy Center, Monday-Friday from 4-8 p.m. Closed on Wednesdays. Call 733-7043 for info. SOUTHERN WESLEYAN UNIVERSITY offers various business and education degrees for adult learners. Classes are forming now. Call (803) 819-1106. VACATION READING PROGRAMS are now active in all libraries. For info, call (706) 821-2604.

Villiers, Louhane Trainor, Daniella Lubisco, Larissa Makeeva, Stephanie Weaver and Pam Aiken. Call (404) 897-1109.

ANGELS HAVE WHEELS: Medicare recipients suffering from conditions such as arthritis, cardiovascular disease and respiratory disorders who have difficulty walking or propelling a standard wheelchair may be eligible to receive an electric wheelchair. For information on eligibility, call Gregory at 1-800-810-2877.

AT THE HIGH MUSEUM OF ART in Atlanta: “Glories of Ancient Egypt” through Sept. 19 and “African Gold from the Glassell Collection” through Sept. 19. Call (404) 733HIGH or visit www.high.org for information.

CHRONIC PAIN SUPPORT GROUP meets the first Thursday of every month, 10:30-11:30 a.m. at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital. 823-5294. WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL offers a number of health programs, including fibromyalgia aquatics, water aerobics, wheelchair and equipment clinics, therapeutic massage, yoga, acupuncture, children’s medical services clinic, special needs safety seat loaner program, exercise class for breast cancer survivors and more. Call 8235294 for information.

THE NEW AMERICAN SHAKESPEARE TAVERN presents “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum” through June 27. Performances are 7:30 p.m. ThursdaysSundays with additional performances at 7:30 p.m. Wednesday, June 23, and Saturday, June 26, at 2 p.m. Call (404) 874-5299.

DIET COUNSELING CLASSES for diabetics and those with high cholesterol at CSRA Partners in Health, 1220 Augusta West Parkway. Free. Call 860-3001 for class schedule. UNIVERSITY HEALTH CARE SYSTEM COMMUNITY EDUCATION holds workshops, seminars and classes on a variety of topics: Weight and nutrition, women’s health, cancer, diabetes, seniors’ health and more. Support groups and health screenings are also offered. Call 7360847 for details. RAPE CRISIS AND SEXUAL ASSAULT SERVICES offers group counseling for victims of rape, date rape and childhood sexual abuse regardless of when the assault occurred and whether or not it was reported. Free. Call (706) 724-5200. SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER is seeking donors to prevent a blood supply shortage. To donate, call 737-4551, 854-1880 or (803) 643-7996. FREE BLOOD PRESSURE CHECKS and HIV testing at RHEMA Connections, Inc. at 1829 Wrightsboro Road, Monday and Thursday evenings 5-8 p.m. Call (706) 3646135. WALTON HEADACHE CENTER at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital is looking for young people, age 12-17, to volunteer for a headache study. Volunteers should weigh between 77 and 220 pounds, have been experiencing migraines for at least one year, have an average of three to eight migraines a month, be willing to write about all headaches in a diary, come in for office visits as required and be willing to take the study drug as directed by the doctor. Not all volunteers who are evaluated will qualify to take part in the study. Call (706) 823-5252. THE AUGUSTA LUPUS SUPPORT GROUP will hold a butterfly banquet on June 19, 7 p.m., at the Radisson Riverfront Hotel Oglethorpe Room. Attire is semi-formal. Call (706) 772-9001. HEALTHY START CONFERENCE 2004 will take place June 28 at the Medical College of Georgia Alumni Center from 7:30 a.m.-3 p.m. Presented by Augusta-Richmond County Community Partnership for Children and Families Inc. (ARCCP) and Enterprise Community Healthy Start. Will address the health status of women and infants in Georgia. Call Chavone Glover at (706) 721-1869.

Out of Town CATCH AN “ESTROGEN BUZZ” at the Lambert Gallery of Art in Atlanta through July 9 with the art of Sylvia de

Augusta-Richmond County Civic Center Complex Upcoming Events

June 17 - August 1

NEW FDR MUSEUM in Warm Springs, Ga., at the Little White House site. For info, call (706) 655-5870 or visit www.fdr-whitehouse.org.

CELEBRATE MICKEY: 75 InspEARations Statue Tour comes to Underground Atlanta through July 20, featuring 75, 700-pound, 6-foot-tall statues. For info, call (404) 577-8686. PARTY WITH THE ‘POSSUMS NIGHT HIKE offered by Red Top Mountain State Park and Lodge in Cartersville, June 18 and 25. Suitable for all ages. Bring a flashlight. No pets. Meet in the Visitor Center parking lot. Parking is $2. Call (770) 975-4226. SANDY DUNCAN IN “THE KING AND I,” Atlanta, Ga., at the Fabulous Fox Theatre. Performances June 22-27. Call TicketMaster at (404) 817-8700 or order online at www.ticketmaster.com. Call the theatre box office at (404) 881-2000. RINGLING BROS. AND BARNUM & BAILEY CIRCUS sets up their big top at the Macon Centreplex from June 2327. Call (478) 751-9232. MABLE HOUSE AMPHITHEATRE in Atlanta presents the Little River Band June 19, The Atlanta Symphony Orchestra July 4, Maynard Ferguson and His Big Bop Nouveau Band July 31, the Nashville Star Tour Aug. 6, Mary Wilson and the Supremes Aug. 7, Atlanta Rhythm Section Aug. 14, Ricky Skaggs Aug. 20, The Village People Aug. 27, Gary Allan Sept. 3 and Atlanta Symphony Orchestra Sept. 11. For info call (770) 819-7765 or visit www.mablehouseamphitheatre.com.

Kids AIKEN COUNTY PONY CLUB meets weekly. Open to children of all ages who participate or are interested in equestrian sports. For more information, contact Lisa Smith at (803) 649-3399. WEEKLY STORY SESSIONS at all branch libraries. Visit www.ecgrl.public.lib.ga.us for more information. FIRST SATURDAY STORYTELLING at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum. In addition, there is a tour of the museum. Held 10 a.m.-noon the first Saturday of the month. Call 724-3576. AZTEC DANCE OF MEXICO is part of the Morris Museum’s Children’s Performance Series. After learning about the dances, costumes and musical instruments of the Aztec culture, children participate in an Aztec friendship dance inspired by the powwow two-step dance from the North American Indians. Call (706) 724-7501. WEE CAN SKI PROGRAM for children with special needs. Presented by the Medical College of Georgia. For info, call (706) 721-1188. AUGUSTA RUGBY CLUB is forming a guys team for youth ages 14-19. Clinics and practice continue through the

www.augustadui.com

Turn Out the Stars Tour 2000 * The Manhattans; Millie Jackson . . . . . . . June 25 Gospel Showcase 2004 *. . . . . . . . . . July 10 No Sex, Safe Sex, AIDS Prevention Youth Campaign • . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . July 24 Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey One Ring Circus * . . . . . . . . July 25 - Aug 1 For information call 724-2400

* Arena • Bell

CHILDREN’S MUSEUM OF ATLANTA lets kids discover where food comes from, load a delivery truck with a forklift, explore a barnyard and make something special to take home. Open daily 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Admission 3 years and up $11; 2 years and under free. (404) 659-5437. SPIRIT CREEK EDUCATIONAL FOREST events through the summer. A guided night hike will take place June 29; July 13, 27; Aug. 3 from 8-9:30 p.m. Cost is $3. An edible plants nature walk will take place June 26 from 9-10 a.m., for ages 18 and up. On the same day, from 10:3011:30 a.m., a “Build Your Own Insect Carrier” workshop will be held. Please bring two empty, clean tuna cans. Cost is $2. There will be an orienteering class July 8 from 9 a.m.-2 p.m. for ages 10-18. Cost is $5. Bring a bag lunch. Register one week ahead. A family nature walk will take place July 24 from 9-10 a.m. An animal tracks activity will be held that same day from 10:30-11:30 a.m. Cost is $2. There will be a water, water everywhere activity July 29 from 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Open to kids ages 10-18. Cost is $5. Bring a bag lunch. Register one week ahead. A likable lichen and funky fungi activity and nature walk will be held Aug. 28 from 9-10 a.m. That same day a Cherokee leaf prints class will be held from 10:30-11:30 a.m. Bring a T-shirt or cloth made of 100 percent cotton. Cost is $2. For info, call (706) 790-2351. UNIVERSOUL CIRCUS will be at the Georgia World Congress Center parking lot, Atlanta, June 24-26. Call 1800-316-7439.

Seniors UNIVERSITY SENIORS CLUB has moved to a new location at 4106 Columbia Rd. University Seniors Club offers health screenings, support groups, health education classes and social activities. For more information, call 868-3231 or 1-800-413-6652. HOME-BASED CARE available for low- to mid-income families seeking alternatives to nursing home placement. To participate, individuals must be aged 60 or up or must have disability status as defined by Social Security Administration guidelines. Applicants must also meet program income guidelines. For more information, contact the CSRA Area Agency on Aging at 210-2018 or 1-888922-4464. WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL offers Arthritis Aquatics and People With Arthritis Can Exercise. Call 8235294 for information. SENIOR VOLUNTEERS NEEDED for the new visitor center at Phinizy Swamp Nature Center to greet visitors, hand out literature and sell merchandise. Volunteers are asked to commit one Saturday or Sunday per month, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. or 1-5 p.m. Call 828-2109 for information. AIKEN PARKS AND RECREATION offers a multitude of programs for senior adults, including bridge clubs, fitness classes, canasta clubs, line dancing, racquetball, arts and crafts, tennis and excursions. For more information, call (803) 642-7631.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Voted Steak Voted Best Best Steak In In Augusta Augusta For 16 15 Years For Years

THE ACADEMY FOR LIFELONG LEARNING offers to mature adults lectures, courses, field trips, discussion groups and community information seminars on a variety of topics. For more information, contact the USC-Aiken Office of Continuing Education at (803) 641-3288. THE SENIOR CITIZENS COUNCIL OF GREATER AUGUSTA AND THE CSRA offers a variety of classes, including ballroom dance, aerobics, quilting, tai chi, Spanish, line dancing, bowling, bridge, computers, drama club/readers theatre and pinochle. For dates and times, phone 826-4480. SENIORNET provides adults age 50 and over education for and access to computer technology. Many different courses are offered. Contact the USC-Aiken Continuing Education Office at (803) 641-3563. SENIOR VOLUNTEERS NEEDED for new docent training program at the historic home of Nicholas Ware. Learn the fascinating history of Ware’s Folly and the families who lived there. All interested should call 722-5495. THE SENIOR CITIZENS COUNCIL offers many weekly life-enrichment programs for senior citizens, such as warm-up/resistance exercises and low-impact dance aerobics Monday, Wednesday and Friday; quilting classes Monday and Friday; line dancing Monday and Wednesday; Spanish Monday and Thursday and more; resistance floor exercises; warm-up, stretch and therabands exercise classes; line dancing; Spanish classes; tai chi; resist-a-ball exercise; bridge groups; bowling and pinochle. June 18 features the Life Enrichment Center’s nutrition group Father’s Day celebration and the Out-toLunch Bunch. June 21 is the date of the Spring Fashion Show. A kidney disease and medication management class takes place on June 22. On June 23, the Life Enrichment Center’s nutrition program will celebrate all those who have birthdays in June. On June 24 there will be a bus trip to Hilton Head, S.C. and a Turning Point Investment Club meeting. Call (706) 826-4480. EMPLOYMENT TRAINING FOR OLDER PERSONS and community service training opportunities are now offered by the AARP Foundation Senior Community Service Employment Program. Opportunities offered to eligible Georgia residents 55 years and older. Apply in person at the AARP SCSEP office at 337 Telfair Street in Augusta, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. weekdays. Call (706) 722-4700.

Sports THE AUGUSTA VOLLEYBALL ASSOCIATION is looking for new members. For more information, visit www.augustavolleyball.com. THE AUGUSTA RUGBY CLUB is always looking for new members. Teams are available for women and men. No experience necessary. Practice is Tuesday and Thursday nights, 7-9 p.m. at Richmond Academy. For more information, call (706) 729-9530 or (706) 394-2565. You may also visit www.augustarugby.org. ROCK-CLIMBING CLASSES are offered in the Carolina Bay Nature Preserve off Price Avenue in Aiken. There are also drop-ins on Fridays from 5:30-6:30 p.m. Call 6427631. BOYS JUNIOR NATIONAL SUMMER BOXING CLASSIC takes place at the May Park Community Center June 1719 at 6 p.m. Call Tom Moraetes at 733-7533 for info.

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For more information call 733-0130 1-866-517-7513

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

Augusta Tech Graduation * . . . . . . . July 13

summer, from 6:30-8:30 p.m. every Tuesday and Thursday at the Academy of Richmond County on Walton Way, and are free. For free booklet, call (706) 951-590 or visit www.AugustaRugby.org or www.usarugby.org.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Health

Volunteer FORTE INTERNATIONAL EXCHANGE ASSOCIATION is in need of local host families for high school international exchange students for the 2004-2005 school year. For more information, contact Tracy Klemens, (678) 3585890. PHINIZY SWAMP NATURE PARK VISITOR CENTER is in need of volunteers to greet visitors, hand out literature and sell merchandise. Volunteers must commit to one Saturday or Sunday each month, from either 9 a.m.-1 p.m. or 1-5 p.m. 828-2109. SOUTHERNCARE HOSPICE SERVICE is currently seeking volunteers to perform a variety of tasks, including relieving caregivers, reading to patients and running errands. Training is included. For additional information, contact Lisa Simpson, (803) 463-9888 or 869-0205. CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY NEW VOLUNTEER ORIENTATION PROGRAM the first and third Saturday of every month at the Pet Center, 425 Wood St. Orientation starts at 11 a.m. Volunteers under 18 years of age must have a parent or guardian present during orientation and while volunteering. Call 261-PETS for information. THE KITTY ORTIZ DE LEON FOUNDATION needs volunteers to help promote organ donor awareness. For more information, contact Cassandra Reed or Espy De Leon at 394-0838 or kodfoundation@aol.com. GOLDEN HARVEST FOOD BANK needs volunteers during the day, from 8:30 a.m.-4 p.m. Monday-Friday, to help sort donated products and assist in their agency shopping area. Help is needed year-round. If you are able to lift 25 pounds, can commit to at least 3-4 hours per month and would like to help fight hunger in the Augusta area, contact Laurie Roper at 736-1199, ext. 208. AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL: New volunteer orientation is scheduled the first Saturday of each month at 1 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Schedule subject to change; call 790-6836 to verify dates and times. RICHMOND COUNTY DEPARTMENT OF FAMILY AND CHILDREN SERVICES is seeking dependable foster parents to provide temporary housing, care and support for Georgia’s children. For more information, contact L. Lewis at 721-3718. MENTORS AND VOLUNTEERS needed to provide support

for MACH Academy at the May Park Community Center and the Fleming Tennis Center. Education, tutoring and technology sessions held Monday-Thursday, 3-6 p.m. at each location. Tennis instruction and fitness activities held Monday-Thursday, 6-7 p.m. at May Park and MondayTuesday, 6-8 p.m., Friday, 6-8 p.m. and Saturday, 2-5 p.m. at the Fleming Center. 796-5046. AUGUSTA/CSRA HABITAT FOR HUMANITY needs volunteers at ReStore, Walton Way and Tenth Street, to assist with receiving donations of new and used building and home improvement materials and warehousing them for sale to the public. The store is open Thursday-Saturday year-round. If you can commit eight or more hours per month, contact Steve Buck, 364-7637. UNITED HOSPICE OF AUGUSTA is in need of volunteers to support terminally ill patients. Scheduling and training times are flexible. Call Donna Harrell at 650-1522 for information. COURT APPOINTED SPECIAL ADVOCATE PROGRAM VOLUNTEER TRAINING: The CASA program is looking for volunteers 21 years of age and older to advocate for abused and neglected children in the juvenile court system. Volunteers need no experience and will be provided with specialized training. Call 737-4631. CSRA GREYHOUND ADOPTIONS needs volunteers to foster retired racing greyhounds. Foster homes must have a fenced yard. All expenses are paid by CSRA Greyhound Adoptions. Call Sam Fulton at 854-0098. AUGUSTA FARMERS MARKET ON BROAD STREET needs volunteers to manage the Main Street Augusta booth. Volunteers at this booth assist the market’s vendors by scheduling future dates at the market, receiving vendors’ payments and passing out literature about downtown development. The Farmers Market also needs volunteers to help set up and tear down the market, and demonstrators. Call (706) 722-7245. WORLD HERITAGE is seeking families, couples or single parents who are adventurous, fun-loving, responsible and caring who are interested in hosting a high-school-aged foreign exchange students. Call (800) 888-9040. THE MEDICAL RESERVE CORPS (MRC) is currently recruiting volunteers from all walks of life as well as persons in various medical specialties. They will be organized and trained to function in a disaster environment. Those desiring to volunteer can access the Web site at www.ecphd.com or call (706) 729-2252.

Meetings

at 7 p.m. Call for location. For information, contact Josie, 414-5576, or Lionel, 860-0302.

WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL AMPUTEE CLINIC for new and experienced prosthetic users meets the third Thursday of each month, 1-3 p.m. 722-1244.

GAMBLERS ANONYMOUS meets Thursdays, 7:30 p.m., in the basement of Fairview Presbyterian Church. Call 1800-313-0170.

JOHN BIRCH SOCIETY OF AUGUSTA civic advocacy meeting every third Saturday from 10 a.m.-12 noon at Friedman Branch Library. For more information, contact Tonio at 373-3772.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: For more information and a meeting schedule, call 860-8331.

AUGUSTA SKI AND OUTING CLUB meets the first Tuesday of each month. Call (803) 279-6186. AUGUSTA NEWCOMERS CLUB holds a coffee meeting the first Tuesday of every month. Call (706) 650-1400. THE AUGUSTA CAVEMASTERS is the regional club for persons interested in cave exploration and conservation. They meet the first Thursday of every month at the Warren Road Community Center on Warren Road. Call (803) 278-2751. THE DANCES OF UNIVERSAL PEACE held the first Saturday of every month, 7-9 p.m., at the Unitarian Church of Augusta, honor the religious traditions of the world through song and movement. Call (803) 643-0460 for more information. “ROOTS OF GARDENING” SERIES presented by Georgia Golf Hall of Fame’s Botanical Gardens. The ABC’s of Planting continues from 6:30-7:30 p.m. June 17, July 15, Aug. 19, Sept. 16 and Oct. 21. For info, call (706) 7244443. AUGUSTA GEM AND MINERAL SOCIETY meets every third Friday at 7:30 p.m. in the Georgia Military College building on Davis Rd. For more information, call 5470178. THE CSRA WRITERS will meet Monday, June 21 at 5:30 p.m. at Barnes & Noble Booksellers, 1336 Augusta West Parkway. Writers needing a support group are invited to attend and bring eight copies of a manuscript to be critiqued. Contact Lela Turnbull at 738-4114.

Weekly OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS meets every Sunday night, 7:30 p.m., at Holy Trinity Lutheran Church in North Augusta. For more information, call 278-5156. NAR-ANON FAMILY GROUP for relatives and friends of drug abusers. No dues or fees. The group meets Mondays

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS: If you want to stop using any drugs, there is a way out. Help is available at no cost. Call the Narcotics Anonymous help line for information and meeting schedules at 855-2419. SEXAHOLICS ANONYMOUS, a 12-step program of recovery from addiction to obsessive/compulsive sexual thoughts and behaviors, meets Wednesdays at 8 p.m. at Christ Church Unity, 2301 Central Ave. Call 339-1204 and leave first name and phone number; a confidential reply is assured. AUGUSTA TOASTMASTERS CLUB #326 meets each Thursday at 7:30 p.m. at Advent Lutheran Church in Martinez. Learn communication and leadership skills. For more information, call 868-8431. CSRA BOGEY-WOOGIE (Yes, that’s spelled correctly — golf, get it?) Dance & Social meets every Tuesday evening at A World of Dance Studio, 3497 Wheeler Road, Augusta. Time is 7 p.m. Have fun with ballroom, shag, country line dancing and more. For info, call 650-2396. MEDITATION & BUDDHISM meetings through June at the UU Church of Augusta, Walton Way Extension, Tuesdays from 7-8:30 p.m. Call (803) 256-0150 or visit www.MeditationInSouthCarolina.org. STORYTIME IN THE GARDENS will take place Tuesdays at 4 p.m. in May in Hopeland Gardens. For more information, call (803) 642-7631.

GUIDELINES: Public service announcements are listed in this section without charge at the discretion of the editor. Announcements must be received by Monday at noon and will be included as space permits. Send to Events, Metro Spirit, P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914 or fax (706) 733-6663. You may also e-mail listings to rhonda.jones@metrospirit.com or andy.stokes@metrospirit.com. Listings cannot be taken over the phone.

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

Work Hard, Play Lite!

Augusta’s Listen-at-Work Leader

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

Epic

Hollywood

Flix

Comedy

Must-See

Sleeper

Oscar Pick

Director

Famous Awesome

The Chronicles of Riddick (R) — Vin Diesel reprises his breakout role in the earlier “Pitch Black” as Richard B. Riddick, a fugitive on an interplanetary run from mercenaries who wish to collect the price on his head. On the planet Helion, an evil invading ruler, Lord Marshal (Colm Feore) is bent on enslaving the human race, and imprisons Riddick in a harsh subterranean prison. Riddick’s escape from this prison with Aereon (Judi Dench) is set against the backdrop of the Tenth Crusade, a 26th century war between Lord Marshal’s followers and the Elemental race. Cast: Vin Diesel, Colm Feore, Judi Dench, Thandie Newton, Karl Urban.

Masterpiece

Dawn of the Dead (R) —

The Day After Tomorrow (PG-13) — This Roland Emmerich-directed blockbuster centers on the popular end of the world plot. This time, long-term effects of greenhouse gases have resulted in the opposite of what scientists have speculated: the onset of another ice age. Dennis Quaid plays Professor Adrian Hall, a paleontologist who takes on the task of saving the planet from this impending demise of the human race and all of the natural disasters that go with it (hurricanes, tornadoes, tidal waves, earthquakes, etc.). Hall must also venture North in search of his son Sam (Jake Gyllenhall), in New York on an academic competition. Cast: Dennis Quaid, Jake Gyllenhall, Ian Hall, Sela Ward, Emmy Rossum.

Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (PG-13) – When their

e “Th

gym is threatened with absorption by a major corporation headed by White Goodman (Ben Stiller), a group of friends join together to form a dodgeball team. Headed by Peter LaFleur, they challenge the corporation to a dodgeball match to determine the fate of their gym. Cast: Vince Vaughn, Ben Stiller, Christine Taylor, Rip Torn.

” ick

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

Chronicles of R i d d

Universal

MGM

Thanks to a plague, the United States is taken over by zombies. It pretty much follows the rules found in the “Zombie Codebook”: If killed by a zombie, one must return as one. Once turned into a zombie, one must seek fresh blood. One must also go to the mall. (To the mall?) The good guys, for some reason, think that the mall is a pretty neat place to be too. Needless to say, forces collide, with the good guys deciding to make a run for it to a (supposedly) safe island. But first, they have to get through a sea of the undead. Based upon the 1979 movie “Dawn of the Dead.” Cast: Sarah Polley, Ving Rhames, Mekhi Phifer, Michael Barry, Linday Booth, Ty Burrell, Jayne Eastwood, Michael Kellym, Jake Weber, Kevin Zegers, Tom Savini.

Ella Enchanted (PG) — Is Anne

Hathaway the prettiest girl in movies? No, Hathaway (she’s

RATINGS !!!! — Excellent

!” d e

and a budget over $100 million, this adaptation of Jules Verne’s classic novel features Jackie Chan as Passepartout, a thief on the run. He teams up with Phileas Fogg (Steve Coogan) an adventurer attempting to win a bet that he can travel around the world in 80 days. Along the way, the duo encounters a cast of colorful characters out to help or hinder their progress. Cast: Jackie Chan, Steve Coogan, Arnold Schwarzenegger, John Cleese, Luke Wilson, Owen Wilson.

This Rocks

“ S av

Around the World in 80 Days (PG) – Boasting an all star cast

Boring

21) is the prettiest woman in movies. Her beauty and charming personality give some lightweight to “Ella,” in which Ella is really Cinderella. Ella is under a spell that makers her obey all orders — will someone please order Hathaway to stay pretty in better movies? Cast: Anne Hathaway, Hugh Dancy, Cary Elwes, Minie Driver, Vivica A. Fox, Eric Idle and Joanna Lumley. Running time: 1 hr., 34 mins. (Elliott) !!

50 First Dates (PG-13) — Henry (Adam Sandler) is a vet at an aquarium in Hawaii and a serial seducer of island visitors, his policy being love ‘em and let ‘em leave. True love, of course, lies in wait. At a picturesque diner, he sees Lucy (Drew Barrymore), and it’s love at first sight. They hit it off wonderfully, but when they meet at the diner the next morning, she has no idea who he is. Henry learns that Lucy, following an accident the year before, has that favorite Hollywood malady, amnesia. The romantic aspects benefit from being contrasted to the comedy, which is oafish in the extreme. Oh, well — you can always look at the beautiful island scenery. Cast: Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore. (Britton) !! Garfield (PG) — The comic-strip cat comes to the big screen in this live action/CGI feature. After the bad guys kidnap Odie the annoying dog, Garfield (voiced by Bill Murray) must come to his rescue. Cast: Breckin Meyer, Jennifer Love-Hewitt, the voices of Bill Murray, Debra Messing, Nick Cannon, Jimmy Kimmel, Alan Cumming.

!!! — Worthy

!! — Mixed

! — Poor

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (PG) — The third Harry Potter film in as many years follows the storyline of the immensely popular book: Sirius Black (Gary Oldman), long believed to be the right-hand-man of the evil wizard Voldemort, has escaped from the title prison after a 12-year incarceration. Safe within the confines of Hogwarts School, however, Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) is unconcerned with the revenge Black may try to exact upon him for rendering Voldemort powerless while Potter was only an infant. He later becomes more troubled when the Dementors, Azkaban prison guards, are called in to protect the school and Potter learns a dark secret of Black’s. Cast: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Gary Oldman, Robbie Coltrane, Michael Gambon Hellboy (PG-13) — It was made by Guillermo del Toro, fan of Mike Mignola’s Dark Horse comic book “Hellboy.” Ron Perlman gets a big ticket to franchise status as Hellboy. He’s a devil child born from a Nazi attempt (with Rasputin) to open the entrails of hell, yet raised by kindly scientist Prof. Bruttenholm (John Hurt), longing for sexy depressive Liz (Selma Blair), amused by Jimmy Olsen-like FBI nerd Myers (Rupert Evans). Hellboy is huge, he’s red. It’s a movie for people (the guy kind) who can’t stop turning the pages of comic books, who want life to be serialized. Cast: Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, John Hurt, Jeffrey Tambor. Running time: 1 hr., 55 mins. (Elliott) !!

0 — Not worthy

ment of Christ’s last 12 hours, long on fear and gore and agony, devils (even Satan), sadistic and/or guilty Romans, hatefully smug Jewish priests and, above all, the tormented face of Jim Caviezel as Jesus. Gibson uses heavy, hackneyed devices and naive tactics; he thinks a few brief flashbacks to benign gospel episodes can offset and illuminate the relentless flood of anguish and bloodshed, and he comes close to making this a rite of faith-based sadism. It is up to believers to decide if Gibson’s Jesus is their own, but since no actor can truly act the Son of God spiritually, Caviezel becomes a sacrificial offering. Cast: Jim Caviezel. Running time: 2 hrs. 7 mins. (Elliott) !!

Raising Helen (PG-13) — Kate Hudson plays Helen Harris, a New York City socialite with a fashion career that keeps her busy and satisfied in the social eye. When her sister and brother-in-law tragically die, however, she finds that she was left to take care of their three children. Being one of New York’s elite means very little to the three kids, but Helen is determined to that she can raise them and keep up her fastpaced lifestyle. When she develops a genuine affection for the kids and a romantic interest in their school principal, she is forced to choose between the jet-setting lifestyle she once knew and settling down as a parent. Cast: Kate Hudson, John Corbett, Joan Cusack, Hector Elizondo, Hellen Mirren. Saved! (PG-13) — Saved! is a dark comedy that takes a good, hard swing at organized religion. The film is about the high school mishaps of two teenage girls, Mary

20th Century Fox

og Story”

Secret Window (R) —

e u r T

The Passion of the Christ (R) — Mel Gibson’s risky, passionate treat-

(Jena Malone) and Hilary Faye (Mandy Moore). After learning that her boyfriend is gay, Mary attempts to “convert” him by having sex with him. In the process, she gets pregnant, which stirs shock and rumors throughout her school. Hilary Faye is bent on converting a Jewish friend. Macauley Culkin makes his second screen appearance since 1994 (he was in the atrocious “Party Monster” in 2002) and R.E.M.’s Michael Stipe co-produces. Cast: Jena Malone, Mandy Moore, Macauley Culkin, Patrick Fugit.

er d d n U

The Olsen twins finally break big in this, their first non-straight-to-video movie. Billed as a “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” for teenie-boppers, the plot centers around the plans of Roxy and Jane, two enterprising young girls, to escape their parents and spend a day around Manhattan. Predictably, the title of the movie is also about the same amount of time any self-respecting moviegoer would spend watching this shameless vehicle to promote the impending milestone of the Olsen twins’ 18th birthdays. Eugene Levy co-stars in a thinly-veiled attempt to pay his rent this month. Cast: Ashley Olsen, Mary-Kate Olsen, Eugene Levy

Writer Mort Rainey (Johnny Depp), traumatized by divorce from Amy (Maria Bello), who’s taken up with her plot device of a lover (Timothy Hutton), is ready to become jellied putty for a grim rustic who trails Southern Gothic literary vines. John Shooter (John Turturro) shows up claiming that Rainey plagiarized a story of his, ruined the ending and deserves cruel payment. How, really, do you go wrong with actors like Turturro, Depp, Bello, Hutton and (as a private eye) Charles S. Dutton? By using them as spits for King’s brand of corn, roasted and then shoved down the gullets of the gullible. Cast: Johnny Depp, Maria Bello, John Turturro, Len Cariou, Timothy Hutton, Charles S. Dutton. (Elliott) !! Shrek 2 (PG) — The algae colored ogre is back, and having already defeated Lord Farquaad’s armies and won the affection of Princess Fiona, Shrek must now face an greater challenge: pleasing his new in-laws. It turns out that Fiona’s family is royalty in a far away land and Fiona’s present state as an ogre is the result of a magic spell gone wrong. Naturally, Fiona’s blue-blooded family rejects Shrek solely on outward appearance, vowing to have their daughter cured of her condition and away from Shrek. Cast: The voices of Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, Antonio Banderas, John Cleese, Julie Andrews, Rupert Everett. Soul Plane (R) — In what may be the lowest point of artistic expression ever viewed or heard, music video director Jason Terrero makes his film debut about Dakwon Wade (Kevin Hart), a patron that sues an airline after a horrible airline experience. He ends up winning $600 million out of the suit and decides to start NWA, an airline complete with an onboard dance club and sexy stewardesses. A white family with the last name “Hunkee” causes problems, preventing the flight from going smoothly. Cast: Kevin Hart, Ton Arnold, Snoop Dogg, Method Man, Mo’nique.

Starsky & Hutch (PG-13) — Viewing “Starsky & Hutch” is embarrassing, like watching Hollywood eat a cadaver in order to stay alive. It uses Ben Stiller as cop Dave Starsky and Owen Wilson as cop Ken Hutchinson, a nervous straight-arrow and a blithe screw-around shoved together by barking Capt. Doby (Fred Williamson). At first hating each other, they bond as dude partners. There are drugs and cash and cars and whores (or “hostesses”), all filmed in the bleached yet florid visual cliches of bad ‘70s TV and films. The soundtrack digs retro vibes right into the grave. S&H underline and undermine every plot turn with a vaguely nostalgic, inanely satirical emphasis. Movies don’t have to be like this. Hollywood, please listen: There is no reason on the planet for movies this bad. Cast: Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughn, Juliette Lewis, Snoop Dogg, Fred Williamson, Chris Penn. Running time: 1 hr., 36 mins. 0

The Stepford Wives (PG13) — In this remaking of the 1975 classic,

The Terminal (PG-13) – This Steven Spielberg-produced film tells the tale of Victor Navorski, who is in a plane en route to America from his Eastern European homeland when his home country erupts into a coup. Upon arrival at New York’s JFK International Airport, his passport is useless – it’s from a country that technically doesn’t exist. Unable to legally enter the United States or go home until the fighting ends, he must now spend his days living in the terminal’s international transit lounge. Cast: Tom Hanks, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Stanley Tucci. Troy (R) — Orlando Bloom is Paris, Prince of Troy, who falls in love with Helen, Queen of Troy (Diane Kruger). However, Helen is wed to King Menelaus (Brendan Gleeson,) whose brother, the power-hungry Agamemnon, uses Helen and Troy’s infidelity to expand his empire by invading Troy. Brad Pitt is Achilles, the powerful warrior ally to Agamemnon who represents a worthy adversary to Priam, (Peter O’Toole) King of Troy’s defending army. Van Helsing (PG-13) — Hugh Jackman is Gabriel Van Helsing, the world’s greatest and most successful monster hunter. He’s sent to Transylvania to help Anna Valerious (Beckinsale) battle a dream-team monster army. Upon his speedy arrival, he finds that Count Dracula has recruited every monster from history, leaving none for a possible sequel. Cast: Hugh Jackman, Kate Beckinsale, Richard Roxburgh, David Wenham, Will Kempe. Walking Tall (PG-13) — is “dedicated to the memory of Sheriff Buford Pusser,” the hero subject of 1973’s “Walking Tall.” Now there is Chris Vaughn, former Special Forces rock played by the Rock (Dwayne Douglas Johnson). The Washington state town to which veteran Chris returns has a new and gaudy casino not far from the sadly closed lumber mill. The casino king and town master is blond and blocky, played like a Northwest Nazi by Neal McDonough. His goons also sell drugs, and after Chris’ nephew tries some bad stuff, Chris goes on a bashing rampage. Soon, he is elected sheriff. Chris fondly remembers “the smell of fresh cedar” at the mill, and it is a grand slab of cut cedar he uses to slam heads, backs, legs and guts. The real love is that of the audience for Chris’ indignant rages, his glorious and glowering ability to inflict mayhem while also trashing property. Cast: The Rock, Johnny Knoxville, Neal McDonough.

— Capsules compiled from movie reviews written by David Elliott, film critic for The San Diego Union-Tribune and other staff writers.

Walter and Joanna Eberhart (Matthew Broderick and Nicole Kidman) move into the quaint Stepford suburb. With the exception of her new best friend Bobbie (Bette Midler), Joanna suspects something mysterious among the town’s women, as they all have the same dull personality. Cast: Nicole

Kidman, Matthew Broderick, Bette Midler, Christopher Walken, Glenn Close, Jon Lovitz.

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

Walt Disney

the Wor ound ld i “Ar n 8

ys ” Da

short. Scarcely directed, the movie is vacant of style and aggressively lame. You might pine for the old National Lampoon road comedies. Why do a black version of those formula pictures that is softer, cornier, more vanilla at the core? Coming so soon after the dismal (but more amusing) “Never Die Alone,” this marks a bad season for black cinema. But “Johnson Family Vacation” has nothing to do with cinema, and nothing of value to do with black. Cast: Cedric the Entertainer, Bow Wow, Vanessa Williams, Shannon Elizabeth, Solange Knowles. Running time: 1 hr., 35 mins. (Elliott) ! The Ladykillers (R) — Tom Hanks is Goldthwait Higginson Dorr, Ph.D., a giggling Dixie pedant. The home of Bible-loving widow Marva Munson (Irma P. Hall) is conveniently close to the money stash of a riverboat casino. Her root cellar houses not only the Dorr gang’s spurious sessions as “Renaissance”

New York Minute (PG) —

Johnson Family Vacation (PG-13) — Comedy is long, laughter is

musicians, but their tunneling scheme. The Coen brothers, directors and writers, pile on enough gospel music (real steeple splitters) to rival the white-roots soundtrack of “O Brother, Where Art Thou?.” Since the Coens are almost entirely about something beyond taste, you might as well take the party as it comes, and be amused. Cast: Tom Hanks, Irma P. Hall, Marlon Wayans, J.K. Simmons, Ryan Hurst, Tzi Ma. Running time: 1 hr., 43 mins. (Elliott) !!!

“Dodg

Mortensen plays Frank Hopkins, who was an actual man and won a lot of long endurance races on a lot of horses. Mortensen’s Hopkins has seen something (the Wounded Knee massacre in 1890) that drops him into drink and depression. He drifts into showbiz, working for Buffalo Bill Cody, which sours him further because he’s part Indian and knows the show is a brazen travesty of the expiring Old West. But he has Hidalgo, the mustang. The look in his equine eye always says “I’m a star, buster,” and in his tough American way he’s ready for the challenge: the epic “Ocean of Fire” race across the Arabian desert, up through Iraq and to the sea. Nobody should become too sophisticated for this sort of entertainment, which delivers great-looking people and animals and action to stir your most youthful blood. Cast: Viggo Mortensen, Omar Sharif, Louise Lombard, Zuleika Robinson, Silas Carson. Running time: 2 hrs. (Elliott) !!! Jersey Girl (PG-13) — He is PR wizard Ollie Trinke (Ben Affleck), she is darlin’ Gertie (Raquel Castro). Jennifer Lopez appears as the mom, who dies giving birth before Lopez can birth much performance. Ollie has already blown his big talent agency job in the Big Apple, settling sourly for the prune pit of a town in New Jersey. He moves into the Jersey home of slobby dad Bart (George Carlin). Liv Tyler is Maya, a grad student and video store clerk. She’s real, funny, charming and imperatively sexy. Tyler and Affleck are cute as puppies, but is that enough? Director Kevin Smith, reaching into his most tender feelings, comes up with hairballs of hokum. Cast: Ben Affleck, George Carlin, Liv Tyler, Jennifer Lopez, Raquel Castro, Jason Biggs, Matt Damon, Mike Starr. Running time: 1 hr., 43 mins. !!

eb a l l: A

Hidalgo (PG-13) — Viggo

o t S n i u m g n m i r er p S

flix

Mandy Moore Is a Good Girl from Hell in “Saved!” By Rachel Deahl

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he first effort for director/writer Brian Dannelly, “Saved!” is a mildly amusing, sophomorically blunt satire about the mostly forgivable shortcomings of fundamentalist Christianity and the people who practice it. The film rotates on a thin storyline and revolves around one basic joke — reigning goody teen queen Mandy Moore yelling at her classmates to embrace Jesus. Thankfully, the sight of Moore fiendishly squealing about God is laughable enough that it makes the more insipid aspects of the film — the treacly way in which each character learns you can love Jesus without hating everyone else — infinitely more palatable. Produced by R.E.M. frontman Michael Stipe, “Saved!” concerns the unconventional and pivotal senior year of a group of students attending a Baptist high school outside of Baltimore, Md. When Mary (Jena Malone) decides to sleep with her boyfriend to cure him of his budding homosexual tendancies, the unfortunate happens: Pregnancy. Feeling isolated, scared and alone — her affable but clueless mom (Mary Louise Parker) compares kids to cars in one attempt at a heart-to-heart — Mary finds solace with the derelict punk, and only Jew, on campus, Cassandra (Eva Amurri). When Mary’s former best friend, the domineering and Jesus-loving Hilary Faye (Mandy Moore), sees her friend “slipping into the fires of hell,” she does all she can to rescue her from damnation. And when Hilary’s wheelchair-bound brother Roland (Macaulay Culkin) starts dating Cassandra, her hatred for the newly minted social outcasts only deepens. Plotted around a back-and-forth battle between the geeks and the freaks, as it were, “Saved!” ends up focusing on the

confrontation that bubbles up between Hillary Faye (as she is always called) and the trio of outcasts who alternately cause her to perform missionary-like acts and burst into fits of rage. The joke is always the same — Hilary comes at the crowd offering Jesus’ love and redemption and they mock her in return. Thankfully Moore is relentlessly watchable as the ruefully religious bitch; unfortunately, her character, which is easily the most interesting and complex in the film, isn’t developed into anything more than a stereotype. Finally, given the fact that Moore has made a career out of being the wholesome and, by extension, “Christian” alternative to sexy female acts like Britney Spears, only makes Moore’s role all the more enjoyable. Although “Saved!” is riddled with jokes about the apparent hypocrisies of fervent Christianity — in one scene Moore issues a monologue about protecting her virginity by any means necessary while shooting off a round at the local firing range — it ultimately embraces a “you can have your cake and eat it too” type of mentality. Like other simplistic teen comedies, “Saved!” is ultimately about doing the Christian thing: Accepting people in all their differences. The trite takeaway not only dismisses some serious undertones of fundamentalist thinking, but also neatly packages a complex story in an entirely too neat package. Here, as each character accepts his shortcomings (the hardened cynic starts to believe; the kid in the wheelchair learns he can, figuratively, stand on his own two feet; the self-absorbed prom queen/Bible thumper starts to see herself for who she really is, etc.) there’s an ironic sense that only divine intervention could so easily tie up all these loose ends.

flix

Tom Hanks Is Stranded … Again … In “The Terminal” By Rachel Deahl

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Russian travel guide to the English one he picks up at the local Barnes & Noble. In the end “The Terminal” is a kind of reimagined “Cast Away,” a desert island survival story where Tom Hanks takes on another obtuse acting “challenge” (here a Russian accent instead of the extreme weight loss) as he shows us the resilience of the human spirit and the joys of consumer culture. Although “The Terminal” is undeniably sweet and endlessly inventive, the cloying nature of the film, and its hero, is overwhelming at times. Hanks’ Navorski, a painfully kind and seemingly clueless tourist, is effortlessly optimistic and overly accepting. The reasons why he never seizes on the opportunity to leave the airport, while explained, never really make any sense, and his clashes with Stanley Tucci’s bitter airport supervisor, who recognizes the two share a bond in that they are both stuck there, are often predictable and disappointing. In the end, Navorski is a little too sweet and too gifted — he crafts a brilliant fountain complete with an elaborate fresco for Catherine Zeta-Jones’ stewardess — to make “The Terminal” anything beyond a diversion. Finally, the story here is diluted into a morality play befitting a children’s book. Kind man gets stuck in airport and makes the best of it, proving to mean man (who’s always been stuck in said airport) that life is better when you’re nice to people. Of course the real message here is that life is better when you’re nice to people and you get to buy lots of stuff.

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

teven Spielberg’s new movie, an oddly timed summer blockbuster that has the look and theme of a feel-good holiday film, is spun around a silly, albeit original, concept. A tourist arrives in JFK only to discover that there has been a military coup in his small, Eastern European homeland while he was in flight; now he’s stuck in the terminal with an invalid passport and is, literally, a man without a country. As he waits to legally enter America, he sets up camp in the airport and slowly wins the hearts of the employees who become like a surrogate family. Sadly, the only similarity between “The Terminal” and the last major summer movie Steven Spielberg directed, 2002’s “Minority Report,” is its overwhelming product placement. The brilliant show of futuristic advertising that appeared in “Minority Report” is here turned into a barrage of bleary-eyed capitalistic drudge. Stuck in the commercial food court of JFK, Tom Hanks’ naïve and eternally optimistic Viktor Navorski is left to do one thing: Shop. Since he initially speaks no English and has no valid currency, the film focuses on the inventive ways he finds to consume what’s around him. An early idea to collect discarded baggage carts earns Viktor enough change to start eating, so he hits the Burger King for a Whopper, slowly upgrading to a Whopper meal. When he wants to impress the stewardess he’s fallen for, he purchases an expensive suit from Hugo Boss. To learn English, he compares his

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EVANS 14 CINEMAS

Movies Good 6/17-6/22 Dodgeball (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:00, 12:30, 2:00, 2:30, 3:00, 4:30, 5:00, 5:30, 7:15, 7:45, 8:15, 9:45, 10:15, 10:45, 12:15; Sun-Tues: 12:00, 12:30, 2:00, 2:30, 3:00, 4:30, 5:00, 5:30, 7:15, 7:45, 8:15, 9:45, 10:15, 10:45 The Terminal (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:45, 1:15, 1:45, 3:50, 4:20, 4:50, 7:00, 7:30, 8:00, 10:05, 10:35, 11:10; Sun-Tues: 12:45, 1:15, 1:45, 3:50, 4:20, 4:50, 7:00, 7:30, 8:00, 10:05, 10:35 Around the World in 80 Days (PG)

Thur: 12:15, 12:45, 3:50, 4:20, 7:15, 7:45, 10:10, 10:45; Fri-Mon: 12:45, 1:35, 4:20, 4:25, 7:15, 7:45, 10:45 Chronicles of Riddick (PG-13) Thur: 12:55, 1:35, 4:20, 4:50, 7:20, 7:55, 10:20, 10:55; Fri-Tues: 1:10, 1:40, 4:20, 4:50, 7:20, 7:50, 10:20, 10:50 Garfield (PG) Thur: 12:10, 1:00, 2:40, 4:25, 5:00, 7:05, 7:35, 10:00; Fri-Sat: 12:10, 2:15, 2:50, 4:45, 5:15, 7:35, 10:00, 12:25; Sun-Tues: 12:10, 2:15, 2:50, 4:45, 5:15, 7:35, 10:00 The Stepford Wives (PG-13) Thur: 12:15, 2:10, 2:40, 4:45, 5:15, 7:15, 7:45, 9:45, 10:15; Fri-Tues: 12:15, 2:40, 5:15, 7:45, 8:15, 10:15, 10:45 Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (PG) Thur: 12:30, 1:10, 1:40,

2:10, 3:40, 4:20, 4:50, 5:20, 7:00, 7:30, 8:00, 8:30, 10:10, 10:40; Fri-Tues: 12:30, 1:10, 3:40, 4:20, 7:00, 7:30, 10:10, 10:40 Day After Tomorrow (PG-13) Thur: 1:20, 4:15, 7:25, 9:35, 10:15; Fri-Tues: 1:25, 4:25, 7:20, 10:15 Raising Helen (PG-13) Thur: 1:15, 4:10, 7:15, 10:30; Fri-Tues: 1:30, 4:25, 7:15, 10:15 Saved! (PG-13) 12:05, 2:45, 5:20, 7:50, 10:35 Soul Plane (R) Thur: 12:50, 3:15, 5:35, 7:55, 10:20; Fri-Sat: 7:05, 9:30, 11:50; Sun-Tues: 7:05, 9:30 Shrek 2 (PG) Thur: 11:45, 12:15. 2:05, 2:45, 4:30, 5:10, 7:10, 7:40, 9:35, 10:05; Fri-Sat: 12:00, 12:10, 2:30, 2:35, 5:00, 5:05, 7:40, 10:05, 12:35; Sun-Tues: 12:00, 12:10, 2:30, 2:35, 5:00, 5:05, 7:40, 10:05 Troy (R) Thur: 11:45, 3:20, 7:00, 10:40; Fri-Tues: 10:05 Van Helsing (PG-13) Thur: 1:20, 4:35, 7:35, 10:35 Dr. Seuss’ The Cat in the Hat (PG)

Thur: 10:00 a.m.

Rugrats Go Wild (PG) Thur: 10:00 a.m.

Movies Good 6/18-6/22 Stuart Little (G) Tues and Thur: 10:30 a.m. E.T. (PG) Tues and Thur: 10:30 a.m. The Terminal (PG-13) 1:00, 2:00, 4:00, 5:00, 7:00, 8:00, 9:50 Dodgeball (PG-13) 12:40, 1:50, 3:00, 4:10, 5:20, 6:30, 7:40, 9:00, 10:05 Around the World in 80 Days (PG) 2:10, 4:50, 7:30, 10:00 Garfield (PG) 12:15, 1:05, 2:20, 3:15, 4:15, 5:30, 6:45, 7:45, 9:45 The Stepford Wives (PG-13) 12:25, 2:45, 5:10, 7:25, 9:40 Chronicles of Riddick (PG-13) 1:40, 4:25, 7:10, 9:55 Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (PG-13) 12:30, 1:15, 3:30, 4:35,

6:55, 8:15, 9:45

The Day After Tomorrow (PG-13) 12:50, 3:50, 6:50, 9:35 Shrek 2 (PG) 12:20, 1:30, 2:30, 3:40, 4:45, 6:15, 7:15, 8:30, 9:30 Troy (R) 8:45

MASTERS 7 CINEMAS

Movies Good 6/18-6/24 Van Helsing (PG-13) 1:00, 4:00, 6:55, 9:30 Hellboy (PG-13) 1:15, 4:15, 7:10, 9:45 New York Minute (PG) 1:05, 3:05, 5:05, 7:20, 9:15 Johnson Family Vacation (PG-13) 1:10, 3:10, 5:10, 7:30, 9:35 Ladykillers (R) 1:30, 4:10, 7:15, 9:25 Ella Enchanted (PG) 1:05, 7:00 Hidalgo (PG-13) 1:20, 3:55, 6:40, 9:20 Passion of the Christ (R) 3:05, 9:00 REGAL 12 CINEMAS

Movies Good 6/18-6/24 Hellboy (PG-13) 1:25, 4:40, 7:45 New York Minute (PG) 12:50, 2:40, 4:45, 7:00, 9:00 Van Helsing (PG-13) 1:20, 4:35, 7:40 Ella Enchanted (PG) 12:45, 2:45, 4:55 Johnson Family Vacation (PG-13) 1:05, 3:05, 5:05, 7:15, 9:15 Ladykillers (R) 12:45, 2:55, 5:05, 7:25, 9:30 Jersey Girl (PG-13) 1:30, 4:45, 7:00, 9:10 Hidalgo (PG-13) 1:15, 4:30, 7:35 Starsky and Hutch (PG-13) 1:00, 3:05, 5:10, 7:20, 9:25 Walking Tall (PG-13) 12:55, 2:50, 4:50, 7:05, 9:05 50 First Dates (PG-13) 1:10, 3:10, 5:15, 7:30, 9:30 Secret Window (PG-13) 12:55, 3:00, 5:00, 7:10, 9:20 Dawn of the Dead (R) 7:10, 9:20

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

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Monday-Friday 12pm-2:45am Saturday 6pm-1:45am “A week later, I get a call from Junior, who was like ‘I’ll be in Atlanta next week. Would it be cool if we get together and play on a tune or two?’” Ford remembers. Of course the band complied, and “a tune or two” turned into the majority of the album. Without ever having played a show as Revelation, the group finished the entire album in a matter of weeks at Lewis’ Bass Cat Studios in Atlanta. Upon its completion and release in March, the members of Revelation found it easier to win over the most discriminating audiences than the casual listener. “It’s harder to prove ourselves to a middle class, white audience than it is to a room full of Jamaicans,” says Ford. “They love the music so much. To see anyone, especially some skinny white kids, taking interest in the music and … playing it right, they love it.” A deeper interest in the lifestyle, not just the music, is what separates Revelation from their peers. Ford speaks passionately about Bob Marley’s life outside of the music, and how he helped to maintain the lives of 10,000 Jamaicans. That’s a tradition Revelation would like to continue. For Ford, the music is just another wavelength on which to carry a message to anyone who listens. “We can go play and we’re great for people to dance and party, and have a good time, but, at the same time we bring something a little more to the table,” says Ford. “I love the music, I love the beat, I love the culture and I want everyone at our show to have a great time. But at the same time, I hope that they’ll at least be able to digest a little bit of what we’re trying to throw out there.” Who: Revelation When: Saturday, June 19, 10:30 p.m. Where: Soul Bar Info: www.reggaerevelation.com

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METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

et’s face it: Reggae has long been the ignored stepchild of popular music. Critics use the genre as a punching bag, and though reggae has always had its share of devoted followers, outside of dancehall-inspired mainstream acts like Shaggy, domestic top 40 charts scarcely hold genuine reggae singles for very long, if at all. Bob Marley was an exception, but even seasoned veterans in the reggae field have seen relatively limited success and respect when compared to proven artists of any other genre. So you can imagine the adversity and doubt that Revelation, five young suburbanites, should experience as they embark on a career of playing reggae and dub. One listen to their recently released debut CD, and even the most knowledgeable and die-hard reggae fanatics have to take notice of Revelation’s devotion to authenticity. Though the quartet hails from the Atlanta area, their hearts reside in Kingston, Jamaica. And it goes much deeper than just the music. Revelation is a new group — very new, in fact. They’ve only been together since around December 2003. One of their earliest commitments after forming the group was to keep a sound true and faithful to roots reggae. That commitment is showing an immediate return, as the most shining characteristic of their debut, “Book 1,” is a timeless sound that refuses any momentary trends. The seeds of Revelation were planted over a decade ago, when Caleb Ford, the group’s guitarist and lead vocalist, spent a summer in Florida with his father. There, the Jamaicans that his father worked with taught Ford not only about reggae music, but also of the Rastafarian lifestyle, and he took an immediate adherence. “At the time, I was just into Led Zeppelin, The Doors, stuff most kids starting out on guitar like,” says Ford. “After playing with those guys … I knew that’s what I wanted to do, to play reggae.” Ford and two of his future band mates, bassist Dustin Sargent and drummer Damien Lewis, spent time in the blues combo Motor City Josh (headed by Ford’s older brother) before the three amicably split from that group to follow their passion and form Revelation. In a chance meeting after Ford played a reggae tune at one of Motor City Josh’s last shows, an unknown patron introduced himself to Ford, claiming to have a connection to Junior Marvin (legendary guitarist with Bob Marley and The Wailers).

music

Luminescent Orchestrii

WILLIE.

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

‘nuff said.

mong New York City’s diverse music scene, there is quirky, there is eclectic and then there is truly avant-garde. But even the avant-garde has become a tiered genre, and an artist like jazz saxophonist John Zorn, who was once considered in a league all his own for his random sonic expeditions (like scoring Japanese adult films), has now found himself in the company of other sonic explorers with undeniable talent; it’s just that their methods of delivery are a little unorthodox. A perfect example of such exploration is Brooklyn’s Luminescent Orchestrii. This quintet, comprised of three violinists, a guitarist and a guitarronist (a Mexican bass), certainly defy traditional standards of what a band is. But they do not defy description; instead, the sounds that come from the Luminescent Orchestrii are an adjective-lover’s dream. Words like “lush,” “irreverent” and “saucy” are all common descriptions of the group, which is just about a year and a half old. The Luminescent Orchestrii was birthed out of multi-instrumentalist Sxip Shirey and classically trained violinist Rima Fand’s desire to form The All-Girl Orchestra, with him (Shirey) presiding. As the pair recruited violinists Sarah Alden and Kaia Wong and the quartet began improvising and performing originals (composed by Shirey and Fand), it became apparent that they were lacking low end. No female bassists were readily available, so Aaron Goldsmith was recruited under the agreement that he would play in drag to preserve the integrity of the All-Girl Orchestra. Soon after, unable to contain the secret that they were, in fact, not all-female, the group began playing out as Luminescent Orchestrii. Since all five members were coming from other ongoing musical commitments and Luminescent Orchestrii began as a fun outlet for its members, the rapid, positive feedback the group experienced came as a surprise. “I did the band for fun, but it just started getting gigs,” says Shirey. “We weren’t even booking them.” The positive response was a direct effect of Luminescent Orchestrii’s ability to channel

By Andy Stokes

their melting pot of influences, which include, but definitely are not limited to, punk, Eastern European Gypsy, Balkan, Klezmer and oldtime American tunes. As Shirey puts it, “Any raw, honest music, no matter what kind it is.” This easily translates over to Luminescent Orchestrii’s own songs, and the process of their creation. “I write my stuff when I’m feeling passionate about something,” says Shirey. “Like, really passionate about something. I need to express it verbally or musically.” Over the course of his musical career, Shirey has also invented several one-of-a-kind instruments, such as Bullhorn Harmonica and Industrial Flute, which he uses for solo performance. Fand, who also composes classical compositions, takes an equally inspired and experimental approach to songwriting. “One of the things that I think about when I’m writing music is pushing the fiddles to play in ways that they usually don’t,” says Fand. “In one song, they’re meowing like cats, in another, they’re scratching like hip-hop. I think about ways to push the sound of three fiddles into new arenas.” Just as Luminescent Orchestrii’s originals come from a unique place, their reworkings of European traditional folk tunes were inspired by the group’s visit to Transylvania last year, where they traveled with various Gypsy festivals. There, the quintet saw the kind of reaction they hoped their music would incite. “(In Eastern Europe), a live band plays, and people get up and dance,” says Shirey. “We’re trying to create an environment where people can act like the rest of the people on the planet. We always say, ‘This is a dance band. If you’re here just to stand there and look hip, the hip band is playing down the street.’” Who: Luminescent Orchestrii, with Oval Portrait, Idea of Beauty and The Cubists When: Sunday, June 20, 8 p.m. Where: Hangnail Gallery Info: www.lumii.org, www.hellblinki.com/hangnail

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AFROMAN first ever Augusta visit. (See full article on page 41.) As a matter of fact, this is one of their first shows anywhere, but you wouldn’t know it by listening to them. Somehow they’ve adopted the Studio One sound perfectly. Cowboy Mouth will be at the Imperial Theatre on Sunday night. If you enjoyed the rollicking marathon set that Drive-by Truckers played on their visit a few weeks ago, this Cowboy Mouth show is for you. Two- to five-hour shows are routine for this group, and the energy they exude on stage is unbelievable. The Luminescent Orchestrii, one of the oddest fusion bands ever, plays the Hangnail on Sunday night with support from Oval Portrait, Idea of Beauty and The Cubists. Luminescent Orchestrii fuse Dead Kennedysera punk with Eastern European folk songs, and the result defies description. Believe it or not, Afroman is still alive, and he’s coming to the Soul Bar on Monday night. Actually, the coastal tour he’s on right now is in support of his new album, “Afroholic … The Even Better Times,” which is a follow up to the runaway hit, “The Good Times.” While hatemongers like Metallica’s Lars Ulrich may despise Napster and the ripple effect it had on music distribution, Afroman’s success is a direct effect of the fame an unknown artist can achieve because of proper use of the Internet. Universal Records signed Afroman to a six-record deal because one of his early fans leaked his hit, “Because I Got High.” Due to the abundance of live music in Augusta this week, it’s unnecessary to mention out-of-town shows. But anyone who missed the Garden City Music Festival can catch two of the Festival’s best performers — Bruce Hampton and the Codetalkers and Cadillac Jones — at Andrew’s Upstairs, located in the Buckhead region of Atlanta. There you have it. Go see some shows!

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METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

his weekend, unless your absolute favorite band is playing out of town, don’t leave Augusta. There’s too much going on in town in the music scene, and too little going on outside the city limits. For the first time, when compiling the two lists of what was going on in town and out of town, it became obvious that the list of Augusta’s notable concerts nearly doubled the out-oftown list that contained not only Atlanta and Athens, but Columbia, Hilton Head Island and Savannah. Aside from the consistent strength of local acts like Knowface (Thursday at the Blind Pig, Friday at the Playground), Three the Hard Way (Saturday at the Hangnail), Local Ghost (Friday at Joe’s) and Pat Blanchard (Sunday at the Pizza Joint), loads of regional and national talent are trucking into Augusta this weekend. One of the great, unsung Southern rock bands, Bloodkin, will make an appearance at Surrey Tavern Thursday night. Bloodkin, aside from being a solid roots-rock band on its own, has been famously covered by Widespread Panic three times so far. “Can’t Get High” was the most famous of its original compositions covered by Widespread Panic, and “Henry Parsons Died” and “Makes Sense to Me,” two of Widespread’s live staples, are also Bloodkin’s. Train, a rare case of mainstream pop rock possessing actual talent, plays Fort Gordon’s Barton Field on Friday night (Graham Colton Band plays in support). Train has definitely worked its way into arena venues, but the group got its start when vocalist Pat Monahan and guitarist Rob Hotchkiss started on the coffee house circuit, moving to the “minor league” Aware Records before the blockbuster “Drops of Jupiter” was released on Columbia Records. The Reverend Jeff Mosier, a member of the hyper-progressive jam collective Aquarium Rescue Unit and founding member of Blueground Undergrass, brings his Ear-reverents to the Stillwater Tap Room on Friday night. If there is such a thing as psychedelic banjo, Jeff plays it, and plays it well. Through the years, he has played on stage with String Cheese Incident, Widespread Panic, The Allman Brothers and Phish. The Ninth Annual Hot Southern Night concert at GreenJackets Stadium on Saturday night has one of the best lineups in that concert’s history: Country-rock icons Marshall Tucker Band and mainstream country artists Gary Allan and Pin Monkey. The Marshall Tucker Band actually has no members named Marshall, Tucker or Marshall Tucker. The group is named after a piano tuner they found on a keychain at their old practice space. Emerging reggae talent Revelation will be at the Soul Bar on Saturday night for their

“We know how to

music

CD Reviews

By Andy Stokes

!!! — Louden Up Now (Touch and Go)

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METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

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Helio Sequence — Love and Distance (Sub Pop)

!!!!

Pronounce !!! as “chk-chk-chk,” or any other monosyllabic percussive sound three times. Then, upon first listen, do not fight the uncontrollable urge to dance like Kevin Bacon in “Footloose.” As a matter of fact, of the dance-punk movement, the seven-piece sound system !!! is easily the most dance-inducing group. In addition, with flaccid competition from the heavily inflated Rapture and stiff competition from Radio 4, !!! is making arguably the best music of that entire movement. Never mind those chatty, pottymouthed and politically charged vocal lines: “Louden Up Now,” !!!’s second, is a modern day summit of “Sandinista” attitude and “Remain in Light” grooves. Those grooves, which amazingly came from actual human performance, will get this record misfiled in the trance section of many record shops. Completely handmade or not, the sounds on “Louden Up Now” were made for one reason: for people to shake. The highlyagitated, heavily-percussive moments of the dance-punk collective, where a group like The Rapture would only briefly deepen the groove with a cowbell or timbales, only last for the length of a song’s bridge. !!! stretch those fine moments through five minutes or more of slowly evolving sound expansions. It’s all about bass and drums — those two instruments are the stock, and every other sound just seasons the stew. It had been nearly three years since 2001’s eponymous debut, and there had been a lot of discussion as to whether !!! could survive the time out. Staying out of the limelight did wonders for The Rapture’s once-golden image. They followed up a brilliant and promising EP and a full-length with an easily dismissed, major label debut that contained a ballad (why?). It’s comforting to know that even during prolonged periods of inactivity, !!! retain their original sound and, instead of trying to break into the mainstream, forge a deeper and more solid foundation.

All that Portland duo Helio Sequence had to do was continue in the same tradition as their first two albums, 1999’s “Com Plex” and 2001’s “Young Effectuals,” and the world would’ve eventually noticed their unique melding of electronic, shoegazer, dream pop and blues. My Bloody Valentine is long gone, and, despite what a few stragglers keep telling each other, Kevin Shields and the rest of that group will never resurface with the greatness they once had. Ride, Slowdive, Swervedriver and Lush have either seen their best days pass or have broken up, with members pursuing other, non-shoegazing projects. Thus, Helio Sequence is the closest thing to shoegazer that’s still active, save for a few other dream-pop/shoegazer revivalist groups like Mercury Rev, Longwave, Doves and Stratford 4. Enough buzz was generated between Helio Sequence’s first two albums to have perfectly set the stage for this, their Sub Pop debut. But, instead of remaining within their vein and waiting to be heard, Brandon Summers and Benjamin Weikel impatiently cater to their potential audience, overblowing every one of the sounds that originally made them so unique. The vocals that used to comfortably braid into the numerous layers of swirling guitars now stand out front of the mix. The thick midi bass lines dominate each song, and the bluesy, howling guitar lines sound too controlled and calculated when compared to previous albums. To anyone who has heard either of their other two albums, “Love and Distance” will be a severe letdown. However, Portland’s Cavity Search record label doesn’t have the far-reaching distribution that Sub Pop does. So Helio Sequence is probably new to most who will hear this record, and the sound, which is nearly the exact opposite of what made Helio Sequence great, may come across as fresh anyway. For the few who have heard them before, though, let’s generously consider this a holding pattern until the next album.

s g tin

h g i S

Tim and Mary Mos es and Lauren an Erramuzpe enjoy d P hilippe the S ixth Annual S wamp S oiree at the home of Lelia and Hale Barrett. Robert Eskew, Stefanie Bowie and Chuck Lamback at The Blind Pig.

Bobby Mims, Diane Marsh, S haron Bos ch and Kerry Kenny at the Sixth Annua l Swamp S oiree at the home of Lelia and Hale Bar rett.

Wildy stal Wood, Tata ry Ch , an m er O Jarrod nnual at the S econd A and Doug Hanks ska. a Party at Modje m ja Pa d an ie er Ling

ond Smith at the S ec e ri le Va d an os Modjeska. Ray Palaci Pajama Party at d an ie er ng Li l Annua

Brandon Stone, Lisa Dill, Jenifer Averbach and Jeff Stephenson at the Second Annual Lingerie and Pajama Party at Modjeska.

Tripp Courtney, Big Rob and Jordan Zeh at Joe,s Underground.

Photos by Michael E. Johnson

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

Jeanna Turner, Brandon Wig ginton and April and Mark Crump at the Second Annual Lingerie and Pajama Party at Modjeska.

n nd Tripp Nixo a y rd a H e hl s l, A of orrisa Kimbel at the home e e ir o S Tommy and M p m a h Annual Sw enjoy the S ixt Barrett. Lel ia and Hale

music by turner

Don’t panic. Ed Turner has fled the premises, but only temporarily. He calls it a “vacation,” and claims he will return next week. So consider yourself warned.

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You Know Rock Is Getting Old When… Johnny Ramone, former guitarist of the Ramones, of course, is currently battling prostate cancer in a Los Angeles hospital. Ramone (birth name John Cummings) has been battling the disease for four years now. According to Ramones drummer Marky Ramone, Johnny Ramone’s chances are growing slim, and the disease is having a very degenerative effect on his health. Louisiana Chef Sues Smokey Robinson Chef Johnny “Jambalaya” Percle is suing R&B legend Smokey Robinson over Robinson’s use of the phrase, “The Soul Is in the Bowl” for his line of foods. Percle claims that the phrase is too similar to his own “Soul in Yo Bowl” slogan and that it will confuse customers. More likely, they’ll be confused about how little they care about the case, which is obviously a pandering attempt by Percle to either attract attention or squeeze a bit of money from one of America’s greatest songwriters. Two Deaths at Bonnaroo Festival Despite the highest gross the festival has had in its three-year history, the deaths of a 22-year-old Kentucky woman and a 20-year-old Michigan man attending the concert mar this year’s highlights. Authorities suspect, of all things, drug use to be the cause of both deaths. On an unrelated note, The Dead were the standout band to play on Saturday night at Bonnaroo.

INXS to Find New Lead Singer Through Reality Show Television producer Mark Burnett, creator of “Survivor” and “The Apprentice,” is preparing his next creation, a reality show titled “Rock Star” that will find INXS a new lead singer. As you’ll recall, Michael Hutchence was found dead in an apparent autoerotic asphyxiation accident/suicide in 1997. Fortunately, this show will portray the reality that we all face each day, trying to find a new lead singer who was so coked up he couldn’t tell he was strangling himself to death. Clay Aiken and Ruben Studdard are early favorites for the position. Britney Spears to Launch New Fragrance As part of a licensing agreement with Elizabeth Arden, Britney Spears will release “Curious,” a new perfume line this fall. Smelling this fragrance will be a contradictory experience for some of us, who have long smelled “something” every time a Spears song plays. A Few Lesser-Known Bands to Split San Franciscan indie-popsters Beulah have announced plans to split after their summer tour ends in August, and Beachwood Sparks offshoot duo All Night Radio have split immediately, citing creative differences. So, will they go back to Beachwood Sparks now?

COMPILED BY ANDY STOKES

Information compiled from online and other music news sources.

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AFTER DARK

THE MARSHALL TUCKER BAND (LEFT) AND GARY ALLEN (RIGHT) PLAY AT THE GREENJACKETS STADIUM SATURDAY.

Thursday, 17th

Friday, 18th

8-Trax – DJ Rusty Bee’s Knees – ASU Film Fest Blind Pig – Knowface Cafe Du Teau – James McIntyre Club Argos – Karaoke Contest Continuum – Playa*listic Thursday Coyote’s – Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads – 212 D. Timm’s – The Section Finish Line Cafe – DJ Greene Streets – Karaoke Joe’s Underground – Ruskin Last Call – Josh Pierce Group Modjeska – Ultimate Ladies Night with DJ Neutron Playground – Open Mic Pourhouse – Karaoke with Pourhouse Friends The Shack – DJ Chip Shannon’s – Karaoke with Peggy Silver Bullet Lounge – Big Dogs Soul Bar – Perfect Backseat Driver Surrey Tavern – Bloodkin Wheeler Tavern – DJ Flashback Buddy

8-Trax – DJ Rusty Aiken Brewing Company – Raisinhill Back Roads – DJ Barton Field – Train, Graham Colton Band Bee’s Knees – Projections and Selections Blind Pig – Shameless Dave and the Miracle Whips Cafe Du Teau – James McIntyre Cotton Patch – John Kolbeck Coyote’s – Rhes Reeves Band D. Timm’s – The Section El Rodeo – DJ Sontiago Finish Line Cafe – DJ French Market Grille West – Quiet Storm Greene Streets – Karaoke Hangnail Gallery – We Bled Victory, Delicious, A Small Victory, Salt the Earth, Liason Highlander – Escape Vehicle Honky Tonk – Robbie Ducey Band, DJ Doug Romanella Joe’s Underground – Local Ghost Last Call – DJ Mixfit Little Honky Tonk – Livingroom Legends Modjeska – Flavour Shoppe with DJ Ty Bess Ms. Carolyn’s – The Horizon Partridge Inn – Mellow D Playground – Knowface, Deleveled

Pourhouse – Borderline R. Gabriel’s – Brandon Reeves Robbie’s Sports Bar – Dance Party with DJ Blaine The Shack – DJ Chip Shannon’s – Bart Bell Silver Bullet Lounge – Big Dogs Soul Bar – DJ Zapatista Stillwater Tap Room – Reverend Jeff Mosier and the Ear-reverents Wheeler Tavern – DJ Flashback Buddy

Saturday, 19th 8-Trax – DJ Rusty Back Roads – DJ Bee’s Knees – Moniker Blind Pig – Shameless Dave and the Miracle Whips Cafe Du Teau – James McIntyre Charlie O’s – Live Band Club Argos – DJ Rana’s Mixed Emotions Dance Party Coconuts – DJ Tim Cotton Patch – Ruskin Coyote’s – Rhes Reeves Band D. Timm’s – The Section Finish Line Cafe – DJ, Karaoke French Market Grille West – Quiet Storm Greene Streets – Karaoke

GreenJackets Stadium – Marshall Tucker Band, Gary Allan, Pin Monkey Hangnail Gallery – Three the Hard Way, The Vanity Crowd, Siclid Honky Tonk – DJ Doug Romanella Joe’s Underground – Joe Stevenson Last Call – DJ Mixfit Little Honky Tonk – Local Ghost Metro Coffeehouse – Afternoon Bluegrass Modjeska – Groove International with DJ Carlitos Pourhouse – Borderline R. Gabriel’s – Mallory Robbie’s Sports Bar – Dance Party with DJ Blaine The Shack – DJ Chip Shannon’s – Kool Katz Silver Bullet Lounge – Big Dogs Soul Bar – Revelation Stillwater Tap Room – County Farm Wheeler Tavern – DJ Flashback Buddy Wine Cellar – Dispatch

Sunday, 20th Adams Lounge – DJ Cafe Du Teau – Last Bohemian Quartet Cotton Patch – Will McCranie Davor’s – Dispatch

continued on page 48

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METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

AFTER DARK brought to you in part by T.G.I. Friday’s

continued from page 47 Hangnail Gallery – One Shot One Kill, Agnus Dei, The Knife Trade Joe’s Underground – Cliff Bennett Robbie’s Sports Bar – Karaoke The Shack – DJ Jim Soul Bar – Afroman

Tuesday, 22nd 8-Trax – Robbie Ducey Band Adams Lounge – Keith “Fossill” Gregory Bee’s Knees – 12 Tone Lounge D. Timm’s – The Section French Market Grille West – Wayne Capps Greene Streets – Karaoke Joe’s Underground – John Kolbeck Metro Coffeehouse – Irish Night with Sibin The Shack – DJ Jim

Wednesday, 23rd COWBOY MOUTH PLAYS THE IMPERIAL SUNDAY. Hangnail Gallery – Luminescent Orchestrii, Oval Portrait, Idea of Beauty, The Cubists Imperial Theatre – Cowboy Mouth Pizza Joint – Pat Blanchard Robbie’s Sports Bar – DJ Blaine The Shack – DJ Doober, DJ Chip Shannon’s – Shelly Watkins T.G.I. Friday’s – John, Pat and Jamie

Monday, 21st 8-Trax – DJ Rusty Club Argos – Karaoke Continuum – Monday Madness Greene Streets – Karaoke

8-Trax – DJ Rusty Bee’s Knees – Listening Room Session with Miles Blind Pig – What You Want? Club Argos – DJ BJ Dance Party Coconuts – Karaoke Coliseum – Wacky Wednesdays Continuum – Open Mic Nite Coyote’s – The Rhes Reeves Band D. Timm’s – The Section Greene Streets – Karaoke Joe’s Underground – Keith “Fossill” Gregory Playground – Crazy Karaoke Robbie’s Sports Bar – DJ Blaine The Shack – DJ Chip Silver Bullet Lounge – Karaoke Soul Bar – Live Jazz

Upcoming Distal, Sheldon – Last Call – June 24

Desert City Soundtrack, Burns Out Bright – Hangnail Gallery – June 25 Livingroom Legends, Adam Hood – Crossroads – June 25 Caitlin Cary – Playground – July 10 Hellblinki Sextet Pirate Broadcast with The Goodies and Distal – Imperial Theatre – July 16 Hope For Agoldensummer – Soul Bar – July 22 Joe Stevenson’s Summer Series: Doug Jones – Metro Coffeehouse – July 22 Avett Brothers – Stillwater Tap Room – July 23 “Turn Out the Lights 2004” Tour: Marvin Sease, Tyrone Davis, The Manhattans, Latimore – Augusta Richmond County Civic Center, Augusta, GA – June 25 McFly – Modjeska – July 30 Macha – Soul Bar – July 31 Joe Stevenson’s Summer Series: Steven Jackson – Metro Coffeehouse – August 5 Kimball Collins – Modjeska – August 13

Center Arena, Atlanta, GA – June 19 Little River Band – Mable House Amphitheatre, Mableton, GA – June 19 “Unplugged in the Park” Series: Jump Little Children – Park Tavern, Piedmont Park, Atlanta, GA – June 20 Jackson Browne – Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta, GA – June 22 Franz Ferdinand – Cotton Club, Atlanta, GA – June 22 America, Three Dog Night – Centre Court at Harbour Town, Hilton Head Island, SC – June 23 “Corndogorama” Tour – The Earl, Atlanta, GA – June 25-27 “Rock and Soul 2004 Revue” Tour: Hall and Oates, Average White Band, Michael McDonald – Chastain Park Theatre, Atlanta, GA – June 28 Don Henley – Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta, GA – June 30 Dave Chappelle – Township Auditorium, Columbia, SC – June 30

Elsewhere Supersuckers – New Brookland Tavern, Columbia, SC – June 17 Decemberists – Echo Lounge, Atlanta, GA – June 17 Tim McGraw – HiFi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta, GA – June 17 Athfest – Various Venues, Athens, GA – June 17-20 Seven Mary Three – Headliners at Banana Joe’s, Columbia, SC – June 18 Ozma, Rooney – Coca-Cola Roxy Theatre, Atlanta, GA – June 18 Eric Clapton, Jimmie Vaughan – Philips Arena, Atlanta, GA – June 18 Cracker, Camper Van Beethoven – Variety Playhouse, Atlanta, GA – June 19 Keb’ Mo’, Los Lonely Boys – Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta, GA – June 19 Dashboard Confessional, Thrice – Gwinnett Civic

Many tickets are available through TicketMaster outlets by calling 828-7700, or online at www.ticketmaster.com. Tickets may also be available through Tix Online by calling 278-4TIX, online at www.tixonline.com or at their outlet location in Southgate Plaza. After Dark listings are subject to change without notice. Deadline for inclusion in After Dark calendar is Tuesday at 4 p.m. Contact Rhonda Jones or Andy Stokes by calling 738-1142, faxing 736-0443 or e-mailing to rhonda.jones@metrospirit.com or andy.stokes@metrospirit.com.

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News of the

Weir d

everal George W. Bush-supporting punk rock bands have gained prominence in the United States recently to challenge the generally assumed dominance of rock music by political liberals, according to a May dispatch from New York by BBC News, which reported that bands such as Gotham Road and Bouncing Souls “are not raging against the machine, they are raging for it.” A Rolling Stone writer attributed the upsurge to conservatives’ general pugnaciousness, but one maven of “conservative punk” laid it to Republicans’ and punk’s joint “emphasis on personal responsibility.” Things That Are Not as They Seem Mr. Jian Feng, of Hegang in northern China, suspicious when his wife gave birth to a baby he regarded as seriously ugly, got her to admit that, though she was not adulterous, she had herself been seriously ugly before she met Jian, but had had major plastic surgery in South Korea and now did not much resemble her genetic look. (Even so, Jian divorced her and in May sued her for fraud.)

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

Team players only.

Resume to: Graphic Artist, Metro Spirit P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA. 30914

Chutzpah! The Miami Herald reported in April that BellSouth called state Rep. Julio Robaina three times by cell phone on the floor of the Florida legislature during debate on a massive telephone rate increase and ordered him to abandon his Democratic Party cohorts and vote for it; BellSouth had influence with Robaina because for the nine months a year that the Florida legislature is not in session, Robaina is an installer for BellSouth, and he was described as close to tears at BellSouth’s lobbying. And in Tennessee in January, state Sen. John Ford, faced with a claim for increased child support from the mother of his 9-year-old daughter, formally challenged the constitutionality of the state’s child-support rules; however, among the rules challenged were those ushered through the state General Assembly last year by … Sen. John Ford. Police Blotter • Robert Hesketh was acquitted of drunk-driving in Chilliwack, British Columbia, in March because police were actually too zealous in getting him a lawyer. After arresting Hesketh, Constable Rick Murray asked him several times if he wanted a lawyer, but Hesketh each time refused, until Murray himself called one on Hesketh’s behalf. Only after the lawyer and Hesketh talked did police administer a breathalyzer test, and Judge John Lenaghan ruled that that was too much of a delay and tossed out the test’s results. • From a police report quoted in Seattle’s newsweekly The Stranger (April 29): “(A) witness stated that he and another witness watched the suspect walk up to several different men (at the University Book Store on the University of Washington campus), get on his knees and sniff their anuses. He would then lean forward as though he was getting a book off the lower shelf. (One witness) also said that when one male got up from a bench and walked away, the suspect walked over and started smelling the area where the male had been sitting. When the witnesses confronted the suspect about the

incidents, the suspect said, ‘Sometimes I forget myself and get carried away.’” • The May robber of a Bank of America branch in St. Mary, Fla. (near Orlando) was still at large at press time, but police released the surveillance tape showing the man in a bright Hawaiian print shirt, holding his newly acquired stash to his lips and kissing it, before making his getaway. Least Competent Criminals Thinking Outside the Box: Teresa Jones Smith, 44, was arrested in Lexington, N.C., in January after trying to spring her incarcerated boyfriend, Roger Johnson, from jail. According to deputies, Smith, who had been seated across from Johnson at a visiting room bench, was found with a mini blowtorch and other tools trying to cut through the Plexiglas shield that separates prisoners from visitors, but more smoke was created than she was prepared for. Update “News of the Weird” reported in 2002 and 2003 on ever-more-daring exploits of “extreme ironing” athletes, who set up boards and press creases under competitively difficult circumstances, such as while sailboarding or bouncing on a trampoline. Several British “ironists” made a publicity tour of the United States in May in their campaign to make their obsession an Olympic sport. (Events are now judged at 120 points each, half of which is based on the quality of the pressing.) Founder Phil Shaw said he got the idea one day in 1997 when he faced a load of wrinkled shirts and thought he would be less bored if he hooked up a long extension cord and ironed while he went rock-climbing. Unsuccessful Darwin Award Attempts An 18-year-old man survived (but was in critical condition) after losing at a variation of Russian roulette (six open cans of Mountain Dew, one spiked with antifreeze) at a party (Princeton, W.Va., May). A high school student survived (at one time in critical condition, bleeding from the mouth) after drinking an unidentified chemistry-lab substance in order to win a $2 bet (Odessa, Texas, May). And Fidel Cueva, 41, survived with only scrapes and bruises after he bailed out of an emergency window of a Greyhound bus, at 55 mph, in the fast lane of California’s 101 freeway at rush hour because the bus, an “express,” had just bypassed his stop. (Ventura, Calif., May). More Things to Worry About After an investigation, the FBI concluded that a motion sensor found on the tracks near Philadelphia’s 30th Street rail station just after the Madrid train bombings was not related to terrorism but was put there by a employee trying to sleep on the job but worried about a supervisor catching him. And just as gasoline prices cleared $2 a gallon in May, Minnesota’s Commerce Department levied a $70,000 fine against Murphy Oil Co.’s 10 stations for charging too low a price. (A 2001 state law requires that dealers make at least 8 cents a gallon profit.) — Chuck Shepherd © United Press Syndicate

Brezsny’s Free Will

off — wasn’t stuck at all. I thought, ‘There must be a word for this magic,’ and thus ‘careen-stable’ was born. It came to mean anything that maintains its poise in the midst of wild, fast movement.”

Astr ology

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

Current human life expectancy is already at 78 years, and it’s steadily increasing. So if you’re 30 years old, you can expect to be alive for at least another 48 years, and probably longer. If you’re 22, you could easily be here for another 60 revolutions of the Earth around the sun, and if you’re 45, you’ve got a minimum of 33. So what are you going to do with all that precious, spacious time? I encourage you to let your brainstorms flow freely in the coming week. Is there another career or two you might want to pursue? A far-flung locale where you’d like to live for a while? An adventure that may take a long time to get ready for? Have fun visualizing the enormous magic you could accomplish little by little in the next three decades.

Until recently, Indonesians thought their country consisted of about 17,000 islands. But in February of 2003, an analysis of satellite images found more than a thousand undiscovered islands, bringing the total to 18,108. I suspect that you’re on the verge of making a comparable breakthrough about yourself, Cancerian. There’s much more of you than you ever imagined. Many previously unknown territories will soon come into view. It will be as if you have unearthed a new world right in the midst of the old one.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Naturalist John Burroughs was addressing your current needs when he wrote the following: “The lesson which life constantly enforces is ‘Look underfoot.’ You are always nearer to the true sources of your power than you think. The lure of the distant and the difficult is deceptive. The great opportunity is where you are. Every place is the center of the world.” Let’s finish up this little pep talk, Taurus, with some advice from Theodore Roosevelt: “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) “Never test the depth of the water with both feet,” the old saying goes, and usually I endorse such an approach. But not now. For the next two weeks, Gemini, you’re exempt from that and just about every other cautionary rule. As far as I can tell, your future is so wide open that the only guiding principles you need are those that give you permission. Here’s an example you might like, formulated by sex researcher Alfred Kinsey: “The only unnatural sex act is one you cannot perform.”

ACROSS

move 31-Acrosses back and forth 6 “Qué ___?” 10 1969 movie with an exclamation point in its name 13 Rich alumnus, perhaps 14 What a folder doesn’t say 15 Portuguese king, 1861-89 17 Hemingway novel, with “The” 20 Bully 21 Place for a drink 22 Unconvincing 25 “Congratulations!” 27 They’re in 29 Beehive State native 30 ___ Nast 31 See 1-Across

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) You can stir up sweet synchronicities by intensifying your connection with anyone who is an alternate version of you. So negotiate with your evil twin, Sagittarius. Inspire and incite your alter ego. Throw a bone to one of your imitators and leap to the next level with a kindred spirit. Slip in and out of the fourth dimension with your soul twin, send a message in a bottle to your future self and pose a riddle to your shadow.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Your theme this week is careen-stable. Here’s Rebecca Rusche to tell you of the term’s origin and how to recognize when it shows up in your life. “In high school, my mom used to let me use her VW Beetle to go to basketball practice. One night after practice, a friend and I were chatting and drinking Coke when we decided to see how fast we could get the Beetle going down a nearby dirt road. Soon we were careening at 65 mph, shouting ‘careen!’ every time we hit a bump and went flying into the air. When we arrived back at the gym and got out of the car half an hour later, we saw my Coke can sitting on the front bumper next to the license plate. I nudged it softly to see if it was lodged in there somehow, but it fell right

34 ___ purpose 38 Org. in old spy

novels 39 Hit sitcom of 1994-2004 whose name can follow the first word of 17-, 25-, 51- or 61-Across 42 Support provider 43 Detective’s need 45 Unfair? 46 Only sch. to win both the men’s and women’s N.C.A.A. basketball titles in the same year 48 Crimson rival 50 Charlotte ___ (Caribbean city) 51 2000 “mockumentary” about dogs 57 Fr. holy women 58 Stomach woe 59 Drive-in worker

61 “Not quite” 66 Sediment 67 Prefix with

logical

68 Modern workout

system 69 Harris and Asner 70 Fence’s utterance 71 A wee hour

DOWN 1 Stir 2 S. Amer. land 3 Further 4 Speak highly of 5 “Dies ___” 6 Bench site 7 Obstetric test, for short 8 Allied (with) 9 Hill dweller 10 Dropped charges against 11 Impudent girl 12 Children’s song ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE refrain P C B S S A P S A D E L A 16 Actress Pitts I O U S P U R L R E V E L 18 Bothers C C C T H E D A Y C L E A T 19 Knee-slapper A O K E N I D S H A R K S 22 Silver maple A W O R D T O T H E Y Y Y leaf wearer: H A M S R A R E Abbr. W H E R E H A I R D R E W 23 Stood B O A S N O W P P P E G O A N T I E W E S L E D G E 24 Smart set 26 Warner Bros. G N A T P I E R cartoon name U U U I T O R L O S E I T A T T A C H A I L S B I T 28 Cool, in 80’s slang L E T N O K I L L E R B B B A R E A L I S L E L O I S 31 Famous N O R S E T E E N S N A P 32 Electric ___

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) “Poets should welcome all opportunities to become befuddled,” writes poet Linh Dinh in The American Poetry Review. “To not know what’s happening forces one to become more attentive.” Whether or not you’re a poet, Scorpio, I heartily recommend this approach to you in the coming weeks. The feeling of having wandered off the path will be a sign of grace. To be confused will be a blessing. The only possible way you could miss out on the gifts that life wants to send you is if you act like a know-it-all who’s in complete control.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Visualize a tall, thick, steel column that has been forged to serve as part of the foundation of a huge building. It’s hauled to a construction site by a truck, held vertically by a crane, then driven into the ground by an enormous pile driver. The clanging of metal against metal rings out.

44 48

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30 39

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) “Don’t rub the lamp unless you’re ready for the genie.” Nine out of the 10 astrologers I polled for this horoscope said that this is excellent advice to give you right now. The 10th stargazer sneered, “Most Pisceans are never ready for the genie.” My perspective is different from both the majority and the minority. I say, go ahead and rub the lamp immediately. Why? Because I’m privy to this bit of inside information: Nine out of the 10 voices in your head are currently chanting, “I’m totally, absolutely, beyond-any-doubt ready for the genie.”

20 22

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) “If you removed all of the homosexuals and homosexual influences from American culture, you would be pretty much left with the TV game show, ‘Let’s Make a Deal.’” So proclaimed famed wit Fran Lebowitz. I’d wager that similar statements can be made about the cultures of every country where this horoscope is read. So wherever you live, Aquarius, let Lebowitz’s observation be the starting point for your meditations this week. Think of all the beauty, creativity and vitality that live in the world around you because of people whose relationships with gender are different from the standard models. For that matter, think of all the interesting experiences that have come your way — and may soon come your way again — because of your own refusal to strictly adhere to gender stereotypes.

E.H. Young Attorney

Puzzle by Kevan Choset

33 Whichever

47 Volga’s outlet

36 “L.A. Law”

50 Seuss’s “Horton

35 Fastener

lawyer 37 Bowling sites 40 Destroy 41 Adder’s product 44 More than 55-Down

55 Has no love for 49 Pre-euro money 56 It can precede

Hears ___” 51 Tampa Bay players, for short 52 “Dallas” Miss 53 Upbraid 54 Mideast missiles

or follow “to be”

60 Numerical prefix 62 Heart monitor

sound 63 “How about that?!” 64 Advocates’ org. 65 CD-___

For answers, call 1-900-285-5656, $1.20 a minute; or, with a credit card, 1-800-814-5554. Annual subscriptions are available for the best of Sunday crosswords from the last 50 years: 1-888-7-ACROSS. Online subscriptions: Today's puzzle and more than 2,000 past puzzles, nytimes.com/crosswords ($34.95 a year). Share tips: nytimes.com/puzzleforum. Crosswords for young solvers: nytimes.com/learning/xwords.

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METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

New York Times Crossword Puzzle

1 Where people

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) Lions and jaguars can roar, but they can’t purr. Cheetahs and snow leopards can purr, but can’t roar. Now and then a tiger in captivity learns how to produce a sputtering imitation of a purr in addition to its characteristic roar. But as a rule, every species of feline does one or the other but not both. To meet your dates with destiny in the coming week, you’ll have to be like a kind of cat that doesn’t exist in nature: One that purrs with sublime contentment and roars with fierce authority.

A couple from Houston had been trying to conceive a child for 10 years. Finally, with the help of in vitro fertilization and fertility drugs, Jeffrey and Sheryl McGowen succeeded extravagantly. Two eggs were implanted in Sheryl, and both split. Nine months later she gave birth to two sets of identical twins. “I think God has a sense of humor,” said Jeffrey. “He took a vacation, and when he got back from it he answered all of my prayers at once.” Keep this story in mind, Libra. It will help prepare you for what God does for you upon returning from vacation.

Eventually, the bottom of the pillar is planted deep in the earth, destined to become a key part of the superstructure that will hold together tons of concrete, wood and steel. Have you got that picture in your mind’s eye, Capricorn? I think you’re a lot like that pillar right now. Though you’re weary of being pounded by the pile driver, you know it’s in a worthy cause. And the good news is that the pounding is almost finished.

The Advice Goddess

Amy Alkon

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he only thing keeping me from proposing to my girlfriend is her ex, who’s Mr. Control. They have a 6-year-old son together. The dad has ample visitation rights, lives in town and babysits often. Still, every night, the son has to call and check in with him. It’s not like he wants to. Yesterday, he hardly said two words. The dad knows my reputation. In fact, people have told him he should be glad his ex is dating me because I’m so good with kids. I’m a firefighter, never married. The boy told his dad I was making him a bow and arrow, so the dad went out and bought him one. I made it anyhow. I suspect he still has a thing for my girlfriend. Am I wrong to think this is an invasion of my space? — Crowded Ask a 6-year-old what he wants to be when he grows up, and odds are he’ll blurt out “a fireman!” — not “I’m looking for something in midlevel management with a good 401(k)!” or “Someday, I’ll deliver dry cleaning!” Unless this kid’s dad happens to be an astronaut, a rock star or Batman, you’ve vastly out-cooled him on the job front — down to the “company car.” Do you really think there’s a 6-year-old boy in the universe who’d turn down an offer to go screaming around town on a shiny red firetruck for a lift in Pop’s sensible brown sedan? You got the girl, you’re time-sharing his kid and, still, you’re obsessed with giving the guy a virtual wedgie. Come on ... does that one nightly phone call really hack a chunk out of your thick firefighter hide? You probably wouldn’t think twice about running into a burning building to rescue somebody’s houseplant, but you just can’t bear a 6-year-old talking to Daddy once a day. In your defense, you did mention something about Daddy’s “ample” visitation rights. Of course, a father who finds himself checking out and returning his child like a library book or the class hamster probably sees “ample” a bit differently. And so what if the kid doesn’t have much to say on the phone? Most kids, at 6, aren’t exactly the second coming of Gore Vidal. Yes, but you’re great, and the other guy is dirt under a bum’s fingernail! Anything he can dad you can dad better. (Everybody says so.) You’ll take over from here, thank you very much, if he’ll just do his part and shrivel up and blow away. Great. And how will you be paying for the

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I’m attracted to this guy at work, but I’ve never been able to pluck up the courage to ask him out. A friend suggested casting a love spell on him. What do you think? — Charm-Wrestling I think there’s no limit to the dumb stuff people will swallow if they think it’s their ticket out of making an effort. Believing in spells is like believing in psychics. If psychics knew anything, they wouldn’t be stuck in dingy storefronts answering the question “Is there a man in my future?”; they’d be lounging on the Spanish Riviera, responding to “More caviar, Madam?” You’d actually be interested in having a boyfriend who only loves you because you replaced his powdered coffee creamer with ground bat toenail? How romantic! In lieu of trying to poison the guy into wanting you, duck your head into his office and say the magic words: “Hey, wanna grab a drink after work?” If he agrees, set a time. If he declines, try again. If he keeps turning you down, give up and go off in search of guys who find you charming as is. Even if you suspect they’re few and far between, they can’t be anywhere near as scarce as a bat willing to lie back and let you give it a pedicure. — © 2004, Amy Alkon

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kid’s lifetime in therapy ... with Bolivia’s annual GNP or truck fleets of gold bullion? According to extensive research by sociologist Constance Ahrons, author of “The Good Divorce,” kids who’ve weathered breakups best are those whose parents’ desire to raise happy children took precedence over their personal grievances. In other words, it’s time you stopped casting the kid as the rope in your adult tug-of-war and, instead, encourage him to have a close relationship with his dad. This requires a full attitude-ectomy, because if there’s so much as an eye-roll from you at telephone time, the kid will pick up on it. On the bright side, once the dad senses you’ve called off the deathmatch for the kid’s affection, he might just ease up. Ultimately, if you want this woman, you’ll recognize that there are divorced daddies worth getting worked up about — but they aren’t the ones waiting by the phone to hear (for the 327th time) how Timmy stuffed Miss Arnaud’s chalkboard eraser up his nose.

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M B D F H C LTR

Male Black Divorced Female Hispanic Christian Long-term Relationship

G W A S J P N/D N/S

Gay White Asian Single Jewish Professional Non-Drinker Non-smoker

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METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

HERE I AM SWF, 25, smoker, loves dancing. Seeking SWM, 21-35, military a+, for friendship first, possible LTR. !244624 SIMPLE PLEASURES SBF, 22, Virgo, smoker, mother of 1, looking for a caring relationship with an outgoing SWM, 18-29, N/S, friendship first, then see what develops. !235127 SIMPLE KIND OF LIFE SWF, 34, listens to country and oldies music, and wants to meet a man to cuddle up on the couch and watch a good movie, or enjoy other simple pleasures. !860787 SEARCHING FOR MR RIGHT SBPF, 39, Libra, loves church, traveling, movies, and dining out. Seeking SBPM, 3760, for possible LTR. !421273 LOOKING FOR A GOOD MAN SBF, 5’11”, H/W proportionate, not into clubs. Seeking real SM, 45-50, for friendship, possible relationship. Be real, have a good head on your shoulders, not into games. Kids ok. !233832 HONESTY IS THE KEY... to my heart. DWF, 35, 4’11’’, full-figured, Italian features, old-fashioned values, caring, family-oriented, honest, sweet, seeks SM, 31-44, N/S, N/Drugs, for friendship, companionship, romance. !227149 LOVE GOD? LOVE CHILDREN? SCF, 42, mother, youth choir director, loves God, church, singing. Seeking SM, 35-55, for possible relationship. !226914 VERY DOWN-TO-EARTH... and open. DWF, 5’11”, 135lbs, enjoys going to movies, outdoors activities, travel and meeting new people. Looking for honest, sincere, trustworthy man, 29-39, for solid friendship first. !996643 COMPANIONSHIP DWF, 50, interested in gardening, antiques and traveling. Churchgoer. Seeking DWM, 48-58, for loving, tender relationship. !732056 GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY SWF, 27, 5’2”, average build, Scorpio, smoker, nurse, enjoys going to the ballfield with the kids, having fun with friends. Seeking fun, energetic SWM, 30-42, for friendship, maybe more. !215492 MORE THAN JUST AIKEN, SC Do you enjoy travel, reading, church, and children? Call this non-smoking, 43-yearold SBCF if you’re a non-smoking SBCM, 40-55. !206590 SOMEONE TO LOVE SWF, 48, enjoys a good horror movie, a drama or a comedy. Seeking a man for romance, quiet times at home, or just dancing the night away! !832399 MUST LIKE CHILDREN Single parent, 40s, likes reading, outdoor activities, most music, dining out, movies, and quiet times at home. !996641 BIG GIRLS NEED LOVE TOO SBF, 33, Sagittarius, seeking single man, 31-45, for romance, real friendship, possible LTR later. Give me a call. !111717

NASCAR/ETC MAMMA DWF, young 59, 5’4”, smoker, enjoys all racing, the outdoors, reading, beaches, mountains, motorcycles, fishing, sports and more. Seeking SWM, 54-65, with similar interests, for companionship. !989288 MAYBE YOU’RE THE ONE? DWF, 52, 5’4”, brown/green, 170lbs, retired, secure, homeowner, loves sailing, cooking, gardening, shooting pool. Seeking considerate, pleasant SWM, who likes the same, for companionship and possible LTR. !980275 SEEKING HONESTY SBF, 37, full-figured enjoys dining out, movies, reading, music, laughter, parks, and much more. Seeking similar SB/WF, 32-50, for friendship, maybe more. !964698 THE BOMB SWF, 18, with a full figure, seeks a male, 18-25, who enjoys movies, dinner, for friendship and possibly more with time. !955355 ENDANGERED SPECIES SBF, 57, average build, independent, likes the good things life has to offer, fun to be with. Seeking SBM, 55-68, independent, honest and caring. !927805 ISO CHRISTIAN VALENTINE SWCF, 61, outgoing, Libra, N/S, seeks SWCM, 59-65, with whom to share Christ, friendship, and laughter. Must be family-oriented, kind, outgoing, emotionally/financially secure. Let’s give our friendship a try. !911830 CLOSER TO FINE SBF, 58, retired school teacher, N/S, enjoys traveling and tv. Seeking BM, 50-65, educated (high school at least, please), who enjoys having good clean fun. !909981 TALL BROWN SUGAR SBF, 25, 5’9”, N/S, enjoys movies, concerts, quiet times, and good music. Seeking WM, 23-30, N/S, no children. !906840 BE MY TEDDY BEAR SWF, 32, 5’3’’, 180lbs, auburn/blue, no kids, never married, enjoys movies, sports, travel, dining, bowling, cuddling, quiet evenings. Seeking honest, romantic SBM, similar interests, for dating, possible LTR. !894568 WAITING FOR YOU SB mom, 24, Virgo, seeks a man for days at the park, the mall, or at the movies, and spending time with family and friends. !883496 LOVE OF LIFE Attractive, classy, vivacious SWCF, 50ish, N/S, N/D, seeks SWCM, N/S, N/D, who is honest, financially/mentally secure, and ready for commitment. !875741 OLD-FASHIONED LADY SWCF, 48, 5’3”, 150lbs, blonde/green, Scorpio, N/S, enjoys church, Bible studies, music, dining out. Seeking SWCM, 35-60, N/S, for friendship and more. !840939 DREAM GUY SBF, 29, searching for open-minded, outgoing SM, 22-38, military man A+, for friendship, fun nights out, dancing, talks and maybe more. !836990 COULD THIS BE YOU? SBF, 45, 5’4”, full-figured, Taurus, N/S, enjoys church, dining out, reading, and quiet times at home. ISO BM, 45-65, N/S, for LTR. !810309 HIKER HEAVEN SWF, 45, full-figured, N/S, enjoys church, exploring, old movies, auctions, and gym. Seeking WM, 46-56, N/S. Let’s make tracks together. !807679

To become a member, call 1-888-223-7044 To listen and respond to ads, call 1-900-226-8908 Calls cost $1.99 per min., Must be 18+.

To respond to ads using a LOOKING FOR MS. RIGHT SWM, 37, 5’9”, 180lbs, enjoys biking, sports, travel, dining out. Seeking outgoing, attractive SF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. !557954 WELL-ROUNDED MAN Educated SBPM, 41, 5’11”, loves reading, working out, the arts, dining out, travel, quiet times. Would like to meet SWF, 30-45, with similar interests, for fun, friendship, and maybe more. !442021

CLOSER TO FINE SBM, 19, going to college in fall, N/S, loves computers and running track. Seeking a committed, BM, 18-26, N/S, not into games. !244511 INDEPENDENT MAN 23-year-old SBM, 5’7”, 135lbs, slim build, black/brown, seeks SBM, 23-30, H/W proportionate and independent. Call now. !237374 WHAT’S UP? SBM, 19, smoker, enjoys basketball, movies. Looking for a male, 18-30, no drama, who loves life. !232027 THE MISSING PIECE Laid-back SBM, 22, Sagittarius, N/S, seeks a very special SBM, 18-35, to help complete me. !215040 ANYBODY OUT THERE? GHM, 21, Pisces, smoker, into muscle cars, salsa dancing, cats, gardening and landscaping. Seeking GM, 18-40, for companionship, possible LTR. !214399 NO MORE DRAMA Good-hearted GBM, 33, N/S, looking for level-headed single guy, 25-48, who knows his direction in life, for no-games dating and LTR. !854633 SEND ME AN ANGEL SBM, 31, seeking serious, open-minded, down-to-earth guy, 30-45, likes hanging out at home, movies. Friendship comes first, possible LTR. No drama! !111070 TIME AFTER TIME SM, 38, is an easygoing guy looking for another guy to spend time with, and share a good friendship. !993392 IS IT YOU? Simple, easygoing SM, 47, enjoys bowling, music, cooking, more. Seeking outgoing lady for good times, talks, friendship and possible LTR. !975288 GLOVERVILLE GUY GWM, Capricorn, N/S, loves bars, karaoke, cooking out, and pool. Seeking GWM, 2849, smoker, to cuddle up with. !936256 LET’S SADDLE UP SWM, 27, 5’8”, brown/brown, Virgo, smoker, loves horses, camping (with or without the horses), and traveling. Seeking man, 25-40, who can ride, ride, ride. !921725 DOGGONE LOVEABLE SWM, 37, Gemini, smoker, nature and animal lover (especially puppies), seeks outgoing, down-to-earth man, 20-70, for friendship. !909184 FUN-FILLED DAYS AWAIT SBM, 24, enjoys taking trips, nice restaurants, fun evenings, dancing, quality time together. Seeking masculine SBM, 20-55, for possible relationship. !894435 LOOKING FOR COOL CAT... to converse with. SBM, 34, Capricorn, N/S, game and drama-free, seeks BM, 26-48, serious-minded, with sense of direction in life. !889038

METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

How do you

FUN TO HANG AROUND WITH GWM, 52, 5’2”, smoker, enjoys playing pool, having fun, seeks outgoing GWM, 4055, smoker, with similar interests. !844895 RELAXING AT HOME SBM, 35, Virgo, N/S, likes relaxing at home, fun, concerts, trips to the beach. Seeks fun, spontaneous SBM, 26-37, N/S. !532700 CALL ON ME SWM, 43, 5’10”, 160lbs, blond/blue, loves the outdoors, dogs, fishing. Seeking SW/HM, 21-35, similar interests, friends first, maybe more. !113631 GREAT PERSONALITY SBM, 18, 6’3”, 220lbs, masculine build, seeking SBM, 18-29, very masculine, energetic, fun-loving, to go out for dinners, walks and more. !627150

I HAVE GOOD QUALITIES Employed, nice SBF (lives in SC) is hardworking but will make time for the right SBF. She’s 34, 5’4”, brown-complected, medium-built, brown-eyed. Enjoy tv, cuddling, fishing, bowling, movies, travel, beaches. !207637

JUST THE FACTS SBPF, 41, Libra, N/S, seeks PF, age and race unimportant, who enjoys dining out, quiet times at home, and movies, for LTR. !730225 SINGLE MOM Beautiful, plus-sized SF, 29, likes dining out, going to movies, clubs occasionally, cuddling. Looking for outgoing, fun SF, 2538, for dating, possibly becoming serious. !997153 SPONTANEOUS, ENERGETIC Slim, tall BiBF, 23, 5’10’’, 142lbs, brown eyes, seeks female, 18-27, who enjoys clubbing, writing poetry, R&B music. !231774 EXCITING BLACK FEMALE, 31 Looking for someone who is loving, kind, caring, enjoys a good time, willing to try new things to add some spice to life. If that’s you, give me a call. !218927 HELLO LADIES SWF, 30, Leo, N/S, enjoys movies, trips to the lake, seeks feminine woman, 24-40, BBW a plus, for friendship, possible serious relationship !213937 GIVE ME A CALL This SBF in Aiken, South Carolina is 33, 5’8”, 150lbs, a smoker, and seeking a very attractive, feminine, fun-loving SBF for movies, walks, and clubbing occasionally. Ages: 30 to 40. !204355

GOOD COMPANY SBF, 27, wants to meet a friend for hanging out, shopping, having fun and enjoying good company. !990953 INTERESTED? SBF, 35, loves reading (Stephen King and Anne Rice), listening to alternative music, as well as jazz. Seeking a woman with similar tastes. !990549 WHY NOT CALL? SBF, 41, seeks goal-oriented, caring SBF with children ok, for friendship, dating and possible relationship. !976521 SOMETHING SPECIAL DWF, 45, 5’8”, 145lbs, two kids at home, loves heavy metal music. Seeking SWF, 30-50, likes being around kids, for possible LTR. !945525 AFRICAN-AMERICAN STUD Open-minded, spontaneous, laid-back SBF, 23, Pisces, N/S, loves R&B and oldschool music. Seeking feminine woman, 25-50, race not important, who loves to have fun. !919677 BONEVILLE BABE SWF, 31, 5’5”, 130lbs, brown/green, smoker, enjoys playing golf, movies, and picnics at the lake. Seeking WF, 25-40, for friends, possibly more. !818908 A LOT TO OFFER Non-smoking GBF, 37, N/S, seeks very attractive, unique, romantic, fun, intelligent, feminine GF, 27-37, for friendship, dating, possibly more. !749660

Summer Member

ARE YOU OUT THERE? SWM, 56, 135lbs, athletic build, employed, likes movies, quiet conversations, gospel music, C&W, snuggling and good company. Seeking SF, slim-average build, to share a lasting loving relationship. !979620 TAKE A CHANCE SM, 39, 6’, 240lbs, laid-back, artistic, loves life and trying new things. Seeking SF for fun times, friendship, casual dates and maybe more. !976288 I GIVE GOOD LOVE SM, 28, 5’5”, N/S, Virgo, enjoys sports, bowling, movies, going out, quiet times. Seeking a single lady, 26-34, same interests, for dating, possibly more. !957932 JUST LET ME KNOW SWM, 27, 5’10”, 165lbs, enjoys dining out, movies, music, conversation, traveling, romance, laughter and more. Seeking outgoing, intelligent, humorous SW/BF, 18-30, for companionship. !956434 PRINCE SBM, 27, 5’11”, 165lbs, enjoys music, travel, reading, dining. Seeking a woman who is outgoing, attractive, with similar interests for possible LTR. !954917 NO MORE GAMES SWM, 34, 6’4”, 190lbs, is in great shape, and is looking for a woman who keeps herself healthy and believes in honesty. !955377 WHAT A CATCH Slim SBM, 22, 5’10”, green eyes, looking for a laid-back, cool girl, 18-29, very attractive, open mind. Let’s talk. !952108 ME AND MISS LADY SBM, 38, 6’1”, professional cook, likes sports, looking for a lady, 28-42, likes quiet times, walks in the park, family, fun. Does this sound like you? !951742 FRIENDS OR... SWM, 36, 165lbs, athletic type, likes watching movies, some evenings out, dining, dancing. Seeking SW/HF, 20-45, slim to average build, same mindset, for possible LTR. !943034 VELVET TEDDY BEAR SBM, 37, Sagittarius, N/S, in construction field, seeks an intelligent, attractive woman, 23-45, with healthy full figure, loving, caring, affectionate. !936899 LOVES TO MAKE YOU LAUGH SBM, 37, 5’8”, slim build, Aquarius, smoker, disc jockey and pest control technician, seeks woman, 25-41, just as a friend. !939056 LOVEABLE TEDDY BEAR SBM, 38, 6’2”, Cancer, smoker, loves sports, dinner, dancing, movies. Seeking woman, 20-45, smoker, to kick up her heels with me. !938554 MUCH TO OFFER SHM, 58, 5’10”, 185lbs, salt-n-pepper hair, retired, Virgo, N/S, loves trailer camping, mountains, beaches. Seeking WF, 48-62, N/S, retired a+. !937107 NEW TO AREA SBM, 41, 6’3”, 205lbs, brown eyes, handsome, Libra, N/S, ISO honest, sincere, fullfigured woman, 20-60, race unimportant. !928684 TO THE POINT SBM, 20, 5’11”, Libra, smoker, loves hanging out with friends and listening to music. Seeking a real woman, 20s, free of games. !924941 PLEASE, PLEASE ME SWM, 32, N/S, N/D, is looking for a woman, 27-35, with a petite build, to share good times, conversations and maybe more. !871092 SEEKING SOMEONE SPECIAL SBM, 61, Virgo, smoker, likes reading, movies, dining out, travel. Seeking outgoing, caring woman, 18-55, with similar interests, for LTR. !850674

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Mind, Body & Spirit

Pilates

Do you need to Forgive Someone? Perhaps you should try

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Lauren Alexander

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Sat., June 19th

Coming Thur., June 24th Pre-Pride Party

706-733-2603

Nikki Diantee

WED ALL YOU CAN DRINK... well liquor or draft $6.00 - Miss Pig’s Talent Show THUR Karaoke with Dana $50 prize FRI & SAT 9-11 $1.00 well drinks $2.00 Bud & Budlight

1632 Walton Way • Augusta, GA www.augusta-gay-clubs.com

MRS. GRAHAM

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Mrs. Graham, Psychic Reader, Advises on all affairs of life, such as love, marriage, and business. She tells your past, present and future. Mrs. Graham does palm, tarot card, and Chakra balancing. She specializes in relationships and reuniting loved ones.

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TPremier HE Entertainment COLISEUM Complex

341 S. Belair Rd. Open from 9 a.m. til 9 p.m. Call (706) 733-5851

Steven D. Kaplan Radical Forgiveness Coach Get Answers Angel Reading Sessions Love & Light Healing Center 2477 Wrightsboro Road 733-8550 or cell 951-1300 (06/17#8451)

Full Body Massage! Therapeutic tension relief, intense or tender touch, relaxing music, aromatherapy, by appointment only - $49.00/hr. Call Joy - 706-771-9470 or John - 803-361-8811 (06/17#8463) Professional Massage By experienced male. Specializing in affordable 1 hour total body massage for men 18 - 55. Out & Hotel Calls Only 706-589-9139 (06/17#8430)

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Dead Bodies Wanted

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706/798-9060

Owner-Operators Sign on/Referral Bonuses Long haul tanker or regional container pneumatic tank Must have own base plate Insurance available 800-547-6404 Ex t599 (06/17#8473)

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Telephone Service

Metropolitan Community Church of Our Redeemer A Christian Church reaching to all: including Gay, Lesbian, and Transgendered Christians, 557 Greene Street, 11 am and 7 pm each Sunday. 722-6454 MCCAugusta@aol.com www.mccoor.com (06/17#8474)

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METRO SPIRIT - JUNE 17, 2004

We want your dead junk or scrap car bodies. We tow away and for some we pay.

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Meditation & Buddhism Weekly Classes, Tuesdays, 7-8:30pm, April-June 22nd at the Unitarian Church of Augusta, 3501 Walton Way Ex tension, Ganden Buddhist Center, Everyone is welcome! (No Class 4/20 & 6/1) Call (803) 256-0150 or www.MeditationInSouthCarolina.org for more info. (06/17#8425)

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