Metro Spirit 06.07.2012 by Metro Spirit

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Want to advertise in the Metro Spirit? 706.496.2535 or 706.373.3636

photography: jwhite

CONTENTS

INSIDER JENNY IS WRIGHT AUGUSTA TEK AUSTIN RHODES

04 06 07 08

METRONEWS NY TIMES CROSSWORD RUFFINâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; IT FEATURE

09 11 12 16

EVENTS CALENDAR

AmyChristian|production director amy@themetrospirit.com

JoeWhite|publisher-sales manager joe@themetrospirit.com

GabrielVega|lead designer gabe@themetrospirit.com

BrendaCarter|account executive brenda@themetrospirit.com

EricJohnson|writer eric@themetrospirit.com

AmberKuhn|account executive amber@themetrospirit.com

MichaelJohnson|sightings

JohnnyBeckworth|circulation manager johnny@themetrospirit.com

Metro Spirit is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks a year. Editorial coverage includes local issues and news, arts, entertainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. Visit us at metrospirit.com.ÂŠ 15 House, LLC. Owner/Publisher: Joe White. Legal: Phillip Scott Hibbard. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. One copy per person, please.

SLAB MATTâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S MUSIC SIGHTINGS

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THE8 ART45 PETS PAGE BALL

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AUGUSTAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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INSIDER@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM Insider is an anonymous, opinion-based examination of the hidden details of Augusta politics and personalities.

SIDER

My Name is Sue, How Do You Do? When the two merging schools suddenly referred to by just about everyone as the “New U” decided to form a committee to handle the naming of the new school, few expected great things, but the list the committee delivered last week was especially underwhelming. Oddly enough, most of the names seemed to give a nod to the ASU part of the merger rather than the “everything else” part that has been getting most of the advantages. Arsenal University? Really? If the list was just sort of bad you could have lived with it. After all, giving a name to something already called something else is never easy (just look at the nation’s divorce rate), but this is so bad you can’t help getting suspicious. If no name emerges as a frontrunner and all the names are pretty much universally disliked, you can almost see Dr. Azziz — purely for the sake of time and efficiency, of course — making the decision for us.

THUMBS

Jungle Bird’s interruption of Webb Simpson’s U.S. Open victory speech was random and glorious, and ups his Facebook likes from less than a hundred to almost a thousand.

The Faces of Scott Dean

down

City Administrator Fred Russell proposes the merged GSHU and ASU take over the Augusta Aquatics Center and Newman Tennis Center. Sure, it would save taxpayers money, but what will it mean to all those not attending either university who still want to use those facilities?

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Hard Copy It’s no secret that the media isn’t always unbiased the way you’d like it to be. Reporters, editors — they’re only human, after all, and impartial objectivity isn’t always easy to come by for the people passionate enough about news to deliver it for a living. But an occasional lean one way or another is a far cry from a full-fledged onslaught against a particular target. The former is inevitable, the latter is calculated. For anyone who has followed this year’s campaign, it will come as no surprise that 12th District Republican hopefuls Rick Allen and Wright McLeod have been slugging it out pretty good over the last couple of weeks. Particularly eager to participate in this fight has been Savannah Morning News political writer Larry Peterson. In story after story he’s consistently and systematically taken it to Wright McLeod. For FEC violations. For campaign contributions to Democrats. For a voting record that’s not partisan enough to satisfy those for whom life is black or white, all or nothing. The latest accusation is that some McLeod donors might have influenced other donors into giving money to the campaign… or that the money given might not have been theirs to give, based

21JUNE2012

on their age, their previous voting record, what they do and where they work. That’s taking opposition research to a whole new level. Nothing in these stories has targeted any specific positions Wright McLeod has taken or policies he might advocate. They’re just an awful lot of the details nobody but other political types pay much attention to. When a reporter becomes a mouthpiece for a particular campaign, it throws the entire process off kilter. Either the reporter is lazy (you don’t think Peterson really went though all those contributions himself, found out who worked for who, determined how much money they made and then thought — hmm… something sounds fishy here) or he’s working to forward someone else’s agenda. The Savannah Morning News is a Morris paper, as is, of course, the Augusta Chronicle, which has started linking to these stories running in its sister paper. When things like this go on, you really can’t help wondering what an IOU goes for these days and just how it might be paid.

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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JENNY IS WRIGHT 15 in 5

about you, but any lazy rivers I’ve been in have had a current, allowing the swimmers to simply float on a raft and be carried along. Not this one. It really was lazy. I didn’t do a thing. for the parents. When it’s your own, the screaming seems eleventy billion times louder and everyone gives you the death stare.

shoes, we didn’t need any of it. Our resort was clean and had it’s own water system.

are suffering, too.

could remove from my bag, I assured him that I needed every

was awfully peaceful.

I love small airports.

clothes on the whole time. I’m glad that the other guests did, too. I’m sure nudist resorts aren’t only filled with buff, perfect male and female specimens, sand. Nope, not even you.

affects my search terms on the internet.

Grass recipe with anyone whose pourin’.

sandwich and ennyiswright.

probably didn’t help much. It involved a towel, the balloons over the net a few times, I decided that with the name, though. It strongly encouraged eight tired adults to get up and actually do something.

METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

JENNYWRIGHT lives in Summerville with her husband, who she calls The Man, and two kids, who she affectionately calls The Boy and The Girl. She enjoys taking photos, cooking and playing tennis.

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AUGUSTA TEK On Vacation

I’m on vacation this week. A couple of weeks ago, I went to Austin, Texas, to watch two of my nephews graduate high school. (Great job Andrew and Michael!) I’m not sure that was really a vacation, but it was fun. This week I’m in Chicago. (As a matter of fact I’m sitting in a Starbucks on Rush Street writing this. Let me know if you think it makes the column better.) We’ll be here for a few days until we travel with the Gymnastics Gold team to the National Championships up in Wisconsin Dells. (Good Luck to Audrey, Laura, Taylor, Elsa, Ellen and the entire Gym Gold team!) As you read last week, the new MacBook Air was revealed at the Apple WWDC. Well, it’s funny how going on vacation provides the rationalization to buy stuff. And after reading the review in the Metro Spirit, I decided that I could not live without one. But unlike many decision along those lines, I cannot believe how right I turned out to be. First of all, I need to tell you what a delight it is to purchase something at the Appale Store. Awesome customer service! Thanks for helping me out. And now that I’ve had the MacBook Air for a week, I cannot tell you how pleased I am. The sheer freedom that comes from shaving off 2-3 pounds from a regular laptop is incredible. I would feel comfortable using it anywhere! Add to that the battery life of seven-plus hours and the functionality of a real laptop, and you’ve got a very powerful personal productivity tool. Totally awesome and, at least for me, totally worth the cost. Speaking about Austin, I want to give a shout out to a nice gentleman my family met. For those unfamiliar with the city, an entire colony of Mexican free-tail bats live under the Congress Avenue Bridge. Every evening from March to November, thousands of Austinites gather to watch the 1.5 million bats emerge from their roost. It’s an amazing sight. While we were down there, we met a local deaf artist selling homemade buttons, “Keep Austin Batty.” He is one of the warm, genuine characters for which Austin is known. If you are ever in Austin watching the bats, be sure to sign hello. On the space front, yet another event shows that U.S. space program is not in as dire straits as some would like us to believe. Last Saturday, the reusable X-37B space place touched down after a 469-day classified mission. No details about the mission or the spacecraft were released; however, the Air Force did say, “With the retirement of the space shuttle fleet, the X-37B OTV program brings a singular capability to space technology development... The return capability allows the Air Force to test new technologies without the same risk commitment faced by other programs.” Translation: Shuttle, smuttle... we’re going to be fine. (BTW — A lady just sat down next to me with an old, thick MacBook Pro. She looked at my MacBook Air and frowned. Laptop envy! I love it!) Until next time, I’m off the grid @gregory_a_baker.

LOCAL ARTIST IN

Southern Living S

ara Lee Parker, daughter of Mr. David M. Parker and Mrs. Beverly G. Williams Parker has been featured in the June issue of Southern Living Magazine for her artistic achievements. Sarah and her husband, Simon Hunt, presently reside in Athens, Ga where her husband works in the library at the University of Georgia. There she is able to spend many hours dreaming up her next artistic design. They also reside, part-time, at the family farm outside Thomson, Ga, where she works in the family business, David M. Parker Exterminating, and where her studio is located.

Sara graduated from Augusta Prep and the Chicago Art Institute. Many remember Sara for "the face" that she and her father hung in the Metro Coffee Shop some years ago. She has an artistic brother, Caleb Ron Parker, who graduated with an art degree from Augusta State. He also works in the family business.

GREGORY A. BAKER, PH.D, is vice president and chief rocket scientist for CMA, which provides information technology services to CSRA businesses and nonprofits. 21JUNE2012

S O U T H E R N L I V I N G . C O M AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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AUSTIN RHODES

University of Augusta: Odds On Favorite To hear talk from the Board of Regents, it was not so much a beauty contest as it was about picking the least ugly of the litter. We first broke the story back in late October that ASU and GHSU (MCG) were being strongly considered for consolidation and expansion. Now we can report what appears to be considered the favorite moniker of the new creature... um... creation, and as you see in the headline above it is The University of Augusta. While the Regents were reportedly less than overwhelmed with their list of a half dozen choices, winnowed down from what the nominating committee described as a list of over 1,200 submissions, it appears there were only two choices ever under serious consideration, Augusta University and the aforementioned favorite. No need to go over all the names, but for those of you who made harsh comments about Rhodes College, the folks in Memphis are quite happy with theirs. Contrary to other critical remarks, I have been told the Fighting Kangaroos of Austin College in Sherman, Texas, aren’t ready to franchise to Augusta just yet. Of course nothing is written in stone until a final announcement is made from the board itself, but it is likely the new bookstore sweatshirts will look a lot like the old bookstore sweatshirts, sans “State,” obviously. While the top two nominees were easy to peg, and I must admit a certain fondness for the concept of using the Augusta Arsenal connection as part of the name, how did William Bartram and Noble Jones whiz past George Walton in consideration for the historical figure namesake category? Noble Jones? I have been told that Dr. Ricardo Azziz will be “fine” with AU and, in fact, more than happy to appear to be yielding on this issue to popular and political demand. Depending on who you talk to these days, the GHSU (MCG) chief is either the devil incarnate, or an odd amalgamation of Moses, Einstein and Mr. Belding. He has his fans and he has his detractors. There are career bureaucrats scattered over dual campi scrambling to look busy, or at least busier, and thousands of undergrads hoping this new Prometheus-like institution will bring with it increased activities, amenities and maybe, just maybe, a college football program. It is apparently all on the table, and since this new whatchamacallit now owns title to the acreage once known as Mayor Copenhaver’s Riverfront Field of Dreams (formerly the Georgia Golf Hall of Fame property), do not be surprised if we see all kinds of proposals and

METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

interesting ideas being pushed (and mostly paid for) by the state university system. In recent years, a number of university and professional sports programs have formed partnerships to create and share some pretty special sports venues. The Pittsburgh Steelers, for instance, share Heinz Field with the University of Pittsburgh. The New Orleans Saints and Tulane share the Superdome. Lincoln Financial Field hosts both the Philadelphia Eagles and Temple University. And 140 miles down I-20, our best example, The Georgia Dome, which is home to the Atlanta Falcons and the Georgia State Panthers. Talk about a potential win/win: have one professional (GreenJackets) and at least one, and maybe two (Paine) college baseball teams using a downtown multi-purpose stadium, with a few dozen dorms thrown in for good measure, and perhaps that university sized fine arts center, and they will be figuring out a way to get Dr. Azziz’s name added to the Signer’s Monument on Greene Street. Of course if any of this fails, they will just kill him and stick his body under the monument with the other famous dead guys. One way or the other, someone is having a party. And don’t think this talk of college football is just idle chitter-chatter. Azziz comes from UCLA, and while the Bruins have not necessarily been blowing the doors off the BCS in recent decades, they still manage to pack just short of 100k people per home game into the Rose Bowl. No delusions of grandeur here for what a new AU football team would draw into downtown Augusta, but I can tell you where four members of the Rhodes family could likely be found on certain fall Saturdays. Startup football programs at Georgia State and, most recently, Macon’s Mercer University (GO BEARS!), have been met with overwhelming enthusiasm and, yes, a surprising amount of financial support from alumni and fans. Could it happen for the new AU? Hell, they are world-beaters in Division One Men’s Golf, with back-to-back national titles. Football is an easy crowd pleaser in comparison. Is any of this dream scenario even remotely possible? It is no more impossible than the notion, say three years or so ago, that ASU and MCG (GHSU) could be merged and declared the proud new owners of about 10 million dollars worth of prime riverfront front property. Stay tuned for the new AU, and all that just might come with it.

AUSTINRHODES

The views expressed are the opinions of Austin Rhodes and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

21JUNE2012

ERICJOHNSON

hands

OUT Meet and greet brings out candidates and sharks

On Monday, June 18, 23 candidates for public office staked out spots in the Building A Auditorium of the Columbia County Government Complex for a community meet and greet sponsored by the CSRA Republican Womens Club.

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NEWS 21JUNE2012

While the event lacked the direct conflict of a debate or the oblique aggression of a forum, there was a palpable tension that wasn’t so much desperation as it was a clear understanding of the importance of making a good impression with the voters. “Every day is another Twitter follower,” is how Columbia County District 3 candidate Butch Holley described it. “Every day is another Facebook friend.” Holley is going up against incumbent Charles Allen, who is one of three Allens running for local office — brother Rick is running a heated campaign for the 12th District Congressional seat, while wife Kay is running unopposed for Columbia County tax commissioner. Like many of the candidates, Holley was in a talkative mood, which seemed to fall in line with his message. “With me, it’s all communication,” Holley said. “It’s unfair to say it’s between this person or that person. It’s government as a whole.” Many candidates seemed to be walking an impossible tightrope, trying to be skilled enough in politics to make a difference, but not indoctrinated enough to be painted as part of the problem. Nowhere are the insider versus outsider battle lines more defined than in the fight for the District 121 seat, which puts the consummate insider, former majority whip Barry Fleming, against an avowed outsider, AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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business owner Mike Popplewell. Fleming is so inside that he even has possession of a friend’s life-sized elephant. The elephant, which was once used by the first president Bush, was sitting prominently in the parking lot, dwarfing all the other painted-up vehicles. “My buddy keeps it in a barn,” Fleming said. “We just keep it in our cul du sac. The neighbor kids have to check on it every day just to make sure he’s doing okay.”

“Right now in the CSRA, for the first time in almost forever, we don’t have anybody in the leadership of the legislature from our area,” he said. Popplewell made it clear he didn’t see the merit in being so attached to the system. “I’ve worked for the State of Georgia and seen the waste,” he started. “Having been in private business and seeing the obstacles that private business had — there was an open seat and I felt like I could make a

While not technically an incumbent, Fleming is nevertheless an insider’s insider, and he certainly wasn’t pretending to be anything else. “I penned some bills through the legislature when I served previously that people said I’d never pass,” he said. “I said, ‘Well, we’ll give it a try’ — and we did.” He touted the Voter ID bill he pushed through and the fact it made him Enemy No. 1 with the Atlanta Journal Constitution. This go around, he’s making eliminating the income tax an issue, and he thinks he’s got the muscle to move it through. “I know how it works,” he said of the statehouse. “I rose to majority whip. There’s no guarantee that I’ll step back into that job by any means again, but I’ve shown the propensity to be able to lead.” That leadership, he said, is currently lacking.

difference.” He said he felt the time was right for his kind of candidate. “I kind of feel like the climate of America right now is, hey — career politicians have made a mess of things. Let’s start all over.” By career politicians, he was obviously talking about Fleming. “Basically, he’s saying elect me because I’ve been there before and I’m experienced,” he said. “I’m saying don’t elect him because he’s been there before and he’s experienced. This is his fifth race in 12 years and he’s applied for two judicial appointments. Let’s give a businessman an opportunity.” For most of the rest of the candidates, the differences aren’t quite so clear cut, which is why so many of the people circling around the room were campaign operatives, sniffing for the slightest scent of blood.

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10 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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GETTING AROUND By Xan Vongsathorn / Edited by Will Shortz

102 Title acquired the moment someone is born? 106 7x – 6 = 2x2 subj. 108 Five-spots 110 Salon supply 112 Curbside buys 113 *Surfaced, in a way 116 *Be repetitive … or what parts of the answers to the starred clues do? 118 Lipstick print, maybe 119 Co-worker of Clark 120 Alternatively 121 It’s got chops 122 Like some praises 123 Start to matter? 124 Keeps the nest warm 125 Narcissus, e.g.

46 Repeatedly 47 “___ open!” 48 Greek water nymph 49 Searched (through) 50 Be a union buster? 52 Repeating part of “Hey Jude” 56 ___ Grand 57 TripTik, e.g. 60 “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” fairy king 62 Uplifting piece 63 Spanish wine 65 High conflicts 67 TV scientist Bill 68 Gain maturity 69 Grassy plain 70 Add spring to, with “up” 71 “You’re ___ talk!” Down 75 Boo-boo 1 Get riled up 76 Mass. neighbor 2 Afrique ___ 77 Cookout item 3 World capital that’s also a girl’s 78 Ones you can count on? name 81 Fingers 4 Embark (on) 83 Job application fig. 5 “Ben-Hur” novelist Wallace 85 No walk in the park 6 Styx song with some Japanese lyrics 86 Parks with no intention of moving 7 Frank with the album “Sheik 87 Dander Yerbouti” 88 South Vietnam’s first president 8 Nationals, before they were ___ Dinh Diem Nationals 89 Have a crush on, in middle school 9 Big blast, informally lingo 10 Rock band composition? 91 Responded to, as a tip 11 Diamond stat 92 Something to try 12 Party for departing parties 96 Grp. that includes Ecuador and 13 Redgrave of “Atonement” Venezuela 14 Nursery school, briefly 99 Garlicky sauce 15 Decide (to) 100 Meal 16 Deign 101 “___ of God” (1985 drama) 17 Duke of ___ (noble Spanish title 102 Certain lens since 1472) 103 First name in 1960s diplomacy 18 Big name in cinemas 104 Shakes hands with, maybe 24 Tiptop 105 Plus 26 Lots and plots 106 Kindergarten stuff 29 Hush Puppies material 107 Wower 35 Oats, e.g. 109 Banjo master Fleck 37 ___-toothed 111 Gains maturity 38 Cleared out 114 Command to a dog 39 Recycling holder 115 23rd in a series 41 Gentrification target, maybe 117 Sponge alternative 42 Nonsense word repeated before “oxen free” 43 Antidrug ad, e.g., briefly 44 Half a dovetail joint 45 Shrovetide pancakes

24 29

38 44

56 62

57 65

108

113

93 96 99

109

110

114

115

100

101

102

111 116 120

121

122

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A C O R N

C R O C

H O M O P H O N E

A L A N A R K I N

S C U D

S P A S M

P A S T A

E N T E R

F O R B I D D E N F R U I T M E D I A L

S A D O B P E A Y S C I U T R E G S E G R A E T D O O R N D O

R E F E R J U K E D

E N D S L O P E S

A N A S T A S I A

F S U H I N O R D W L I F N I A S B F O U A L L R E A

104

105

U N A R M

V E R S E

E S S E N

P R E C O O K E D

U N N A T U R A L

P O S T

S O U N D

E A T I T

117

119

E L W E S

103

112

118

L A S H

107

95 97

74 80

64 68

106

72 77

26 30

55 59

15 22

PREVIOUSPUZZLEANSWERS

Across 1 Benedictine monk who founded Scholasticism 7 Fire 11 Initial request? 15 One of three in Toyota’s logo 19 Lunchtime errand 20 Have an ___ grind 21 What a koala really isn’t 22 Horseplay? 23 *Ready for the present? 25 *Makeshift swing 27 Pennsylvania city or county 28 Blocks 30 Hockey feint 31 Call from a crow’s nest 32 Sit on it 33 Chimera, e.g. 34 They’re seen but not recognized 36 Bit of fallout 38 ___ populi 39 Grievances 40 Ring around the collar? 43 Vessel commanded by J.F.K. 47 *Brushback pitch 51 *All-in-one 53 Lot to take in 54 Soulful Baker 55 “Yeah, right” 56 Bub 58 ___ Martin Cognac 59 Pickup capacity, maybe 61 Bit to split 64 Wife of Uranus 66 *Animal that gives birth to identical quadruplets 72 Don’t fess up to 73 Kind of counter 74 “Excalibur” role 75 Protest singer Phil 79 Comical Charlotte 80 South Pacific capital 82 Silent goodbyes 84 Cry of delight popularized by Homer Simpson 86 *Saturn and others 90 *Contents of a chest? 93 Heated patch 94 Broken off 95 Maker of watches and calculators 96 Signs off on 97 Unlock, poetically 98 “Jabberwocky” starter 99 Slack-jawed

R S I O M O C T R O Y O V P I E D S A S L H E I E N C I T E D I I A N L E E O C E N O X N T A R I A L

A L L O T S

D E E J A Y

R R O O S T E L S Y K N E D W E E R I I N N G G A

S O S A N O C H L O O W P L M E E A M S O T S C C H L E O F S E

M A S H I E S O A R S

A H A Y E A

A G E O L D A P P L E O F D I S C O R D

T A T E

T H E O

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AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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Ruffin’ It

In Which I Have Clearly Lost My Mind I have a funny relationship with music. It used to be my job to write about it, and I got into that career — or, let’s be honest, fell into it — because I am truly fascinated and enamored with the monolithic gamut of artistic expression inherent in it. Its evolution has become a thing of warp-speed beauty; a few years ago, I describe The Mars Volta as “Led Zeppelin on all the acid” to a friend of mine. Nowadays, you can’t swing a dead mud shark without hitting a band that splices psychedelic wankery with heavy prog-blues. If you could, I’d stop getting so many drycleaning bills from Diagonal. It’s all too predictable, though, what happens when your passion becomes your job: disenchantment. Within a year, I started getting annoyed when PR reps would send me free music. I was getting good stuff — Coheed and Cambria FedEx-ed me free tickets once — but when your paycheck hinges on critique, you begin to view everything from a very clinical standpoint. Or, like me, you begin sequestering yourself into the most conservative niches of scene politics. You’re a fan of the way Clutch seamlessly melds Southern rock groove with bark-y hardcore doom? Of course you are. But you can’t be a fan of Every Time I Die. You just can’t. I’m not sure why, but it basically boils down to screw those guys. Getting out of that career was good for me, as I’ve learned to open up and appreciate all kinds of music again. But my relationship with it is still tricky. Sometimes a song comes along that both the lizard and human parts of my brain tell me to hate, but my heart forces me to love. These are some of those songs. One Direction, “What Makes You Beautiful” One Direction is what happens when you get the behind-the-scenes look you never asked for. Each of the five members individually auditioned for “Britain’s Got Talent,” only for Simon Cowell to suggest they form a group. Then he laid an egg with a dollar sign on it, and this “band” is what popped out. On paper, they are everything you hate about boy bands: there’s the Cute One, the Bad Boy (you can tell because he’s got medium-gauge ear piercings) and the Not-Cute-But-Still-KindaBecause-I’m-In-This-Band guy. They’re smarmy, and more vanilla than a going-out-of-business ice cream parlor. But good lord, is this song infectious. I’m not sure if it’s the opening, Grease-aping guitar lick, the flawless, saccharine harmonies, or the fact that Bad Boy isn’t strongarmed into a rap break, but I love it. I even watched the video last night to try and force myself into jadedness, but it backfired: they’re pretty much frolicking in the surf, fully clothed, and just generally

having way more fun than is fair. If you have to hate them, just remember that when the sea salt dries on their khakis, their inner thighs are gonna chafe like a motherf***er. Tre Songz featuring Nicki Minaj, “Bottoms Up” Rap seems to go through a cycle regarding booty songs. Sir Mix-a-Lot first immortalized the rump as muse with “Baby Got Back,” but it would be years before the ass-boom hit full-force: “Back that Azz Up,” “Wobble Wobble,” “She Got a Donk” and “Shake It Fast” were all released in the span of a few years, with increasing degrees of insanity. Booty was taken seriously, and it was right in your face. Literally. When you’re a hopelessly awkward 16-year-old boy, BET’s Rap City is the next best thing to scrambled Playboy Channel. This tune continues that tradition. I initially had no idea who Tre Songz was; I found this video searching YouTube for Nicki Minaj because LOOK AT HER BUTT. The song is technically about getting absolutely blasted on Hennessey — actual lyric: “We drunk, so let me be your alcohol hero” — but that’s so lazy that it barely qualifies as a double entendre. And if you think the video doesn’t consist mostly of Tre sitting in a neon-lit room while handcuffed dancers present themselves to him like mandrills, then you have absurdly high expectations for a song called “Bottoms Up.” It’s catchy, though, and the inclusion of Nicki Minaj automatically increases the artistic merit of any song tenfold, and she can get away with being as ridiculous as she wants. Which, here, includes wearing a blond bob-style wig and corset, spitting rapid-fire rhymes about Anna Nicole Smith, Haiti and buying a Mercedes with her boobs. I totally believe her, and my cardio has never been better. Jessie J, “Domino” I’m glad I didn’t know this song by its actual title until just recently. Otherwise, I’d have thought it was a cover of the Van Morrison song from His Band and the Street Choir, and no amount of Jessie in a leopard-print bra could have saved her from my wheezy, impotent wrath. But it’s not, and I love it. Jessie J, in both style and substance, harkens slightly back to the kind of absurdist-bubblegum late ’90s girl-pop embodied in artists like Robyn and, to an extent, the Spice Girls. I mentioned the leopard-print bra, but Jessie J is the kind of girl who not only matches her lipstick to it, but bedazzles a dollar store cap with plastic gold to round out the look. She spends half the video in a paisley bodysuit, and owns it. The song itself is pop-by-numbers, with a sparse, handclappy arrangement for the verses, before the chorus breaks out some full major chords and synthesizers. It’s perfect for a beach montage in a Nair commercial, and I mean that in the best way possible. Mest, “Cadillac” High school was a weird time for me, both music and fashion-wise. Some of my friends still wore those oversized, button-up shirts with more blue flames and tribal crap than a frat boy’s upper body. I shopped at Hot Topic and always made sure to leave only a minimal amount of bared skin between my shorts and socks. My tan lines looked like a hazing ritual. Also, Blink 182 was huge then, so I listened to them. They got, and still get, a bad rap, but as far as pop-ready skate punk is concerned, you can’t do much better this side of NOFX. Their unholy offshoot spawn, though, are another story. Of them, Mest is the worst story. A Mest album is what you buy when Good Charlotte gets too hardcore. They love wearing Dickies with Airwalks, and the only reason they spike their hair is because they don’t understand Freud. Hard rhymes are par for the course in songwriting, but the first three lines of this song end with the word “night:” “It’s Friday night/What’s going on tonight?/I’ll see her later on tonight.” So little thought went into that lyric, you could barely power a penlight off the brain that conceived it. But the video… oh man, the video. They’re riding around in a 1970s Caddie with a bunch of too-hot-to-be-punk punk girls, while a werewolf in a tracksuit breakdances in a porta-potty. The song is stupid, and the band is even dumber: they don’t even bother to perform on a stage while they’re on the beach, so you know they’re getting sand in all kinds of uncomfortable places. But bikinis, Cadillacs, werewolves — it’s like these little Spencer’s Gifts petri dish mishaps figured out how to Inception my dreams.

JOSHRUFFIN, a Metro Spirit alum, is a published journalist and poet who just

received his MFA from Georgia College & State University. He was once the most un-intimidating bouncer at Soul Bar.

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Your Weird Week in Crime Is Augusta-Richmond County really as crime ridden as you think it is? As the crimes and the times change, so will the report. BB’d, Drawn and Quartered On Monday, June 11, an Augusta man was at his mother’s house when his mother’s boyfriend (suspect) came to pick up his cell phone. An argument occurred and the suspect pulled out a BB gun and started shooting. The victim pushed his mother out of the way, getting shot in the head in the process. The victim pushed the gun into the vehicle, but the suspect grabbed his hand and drove 40 yards, dragging the victim. The mother did not call 911 to avoid making the suspect’s family upset, according to the incident report. The victim received medical treatment after his father brought him to a hospital on Wednesday, June 13. This is why there are no more Samaritans On Friday, June 15, an Augustan man was crossing Dean’s Bridge Road when a man in a vehicle drove past him, turned around and exited the vehicle with a beer bottle in hand. The driver asked the victim if he had any weed or if knew where to get some, to which he said no. The driver asked if he could have a cigarette, and as the victim obliged, the driver hit the victim with the beer bottle. The suspect then returned to his vehicle and fled the scene. One crime at a time please On Saturday, June 16, an Augusta woman attempted to shoplift swimwear and makeup from the K-Mart on Gordon Highway. The suspect was stopped and detained by a loss prevention associate. When a RSCD deputy arrived to transport the suspect, a needle was found in her purse. Once the deputy and suspect arrived at the jail, the deputy also found oxycodone pills and 0.2 grams of meth. Stealing from those who protect you On Saturday, June 16, it was reported that a citizen had her residence burglarized. The victim, a member of the U.S. Army, started moving in between June 1-5 before she went on leave. When she returned she found multiple items missing, including: One Keurig coffeemaker Iron Blow dryer Costume jewelry $5 in total cash Twin size mattress Bed sheets Shoes and flip-flops Shower curtains Backpack Bath towels Framed photos

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Clothing Army ACU Wounded Warrior plaque The landlord said he had cleaning crews clean the residence in her absence. Business cards from two different cleaning companies were left in the residence. According to the incident report, there were no signs of forced entry. Crime total for the week 95 counts of larceny (both felony and misdemeanor) 66 counts of invasion of privacy 22 counts of assault 17 counts of burglary with forced entry (time unknown) 13 counts of burglary with forced entry (night time) Nine counts of property damage Eight counts of burglary with forced entry (daytime) Six counts of recovered property Four counts of vehicle theft Four counts of theft/mislaid property Four counts of armed robbery Three counts of financial fraud Three counts of possession of dangerous drugs Two counts of weapon offenses One count of missing person One count of recovered person One count of producing marijuana One count of public peace disturbance One count of hindering an emergency call One count of forgery One count of kidnapping of an adult

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RASHADO’CONNER

New Spill

DREAM BOLDLY.

String of chemical spills put city into action

Comprehensive financial planning Investment strategies Retirement planning and rollovers Education funding solutions Life, home and auto insurance

Plan confidently.®

3015 Allen Drive, Evans, GA 30809

14 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

A chemical spill on Boy Scout Road has Harban’s Wine & Spirit owner Chris Donner shaken up over the effect it may have on the community’s drinking water. “If you were to look into the drainage ditch that goes along Boy Scout Road, it looks like the old Exxon Oil spill from the ’90s,” Donner described. “And it smells like either gasoline or diesel fuel.” The liquor store owner, who has had the Richmond County Fire Department visit his property on three separate occasions to investigate, said that little is being done to solve the problem. “The city definitely needs to do something about it because this drainage leads right into Rae’s Creek,” Donner said. “That ultimately leads into our drinking water. I’m just expecting someone to figure out if one of the gas stations nearby have a leak in one of their tanks, and if so, figure out which one it is, dig it up and then fix it.” Donner went on to say that in addition to being unsatisfied with the city’s slow response, he is mainly concerned that the problem could potentially worsen before a proper course is taken. “I haven’t seen anyone come out and take soil samples or anything like that,” Donner complained. “It’s not usually something that’s done, but with an environmental hazard like this — something to do with the water — you’d expect it to be done since it involves our groundwater.” According to David Smith, construction and stormwater engineer from the City of Augusta’s Engineering Department, the chemical spill outside of Harban’s is not unique. Smith noted two separate spills that also occurred on Boy Scout Road around Knights Inn. The first was called in on May 14, at which time Smith, the Richmond County Fire Department and the Georgia Environmental Protection Division (EPD) responded to the scene. “We immediately noticed a strong odor coming from some type of petroleum product in the creek near Harban’s Wine & Spirit,” Smith recalled. “We traced it back to the site of Knights Inn and at that time it was determined that someone had washed paint products — brushes, etc. — out into the storm drain with some type of petroleum cleaner. A storm eventually washed that down into the ditch therefore creating the odor as well as the discharge into the storm sewer.” The Engineering Department later issued Dyjak Lodging Associates — owners of Knights Inn — a notice of violation for eliciting discharge into the stormwater system, which Smith said came upon the discovery of around five gallons of chemical spill and two gallons of cleaner that ran into the drain tap near Knights Inn. The second spill that Smith and his team reported on occurred earlier this month when the engineer received a call from Augusta Emergency Management and the Richmond County Fire Department. Not surprisingly, the call brought Smith back to Knights Inn. “We met up with them [Augusta Emergency Management and the fire department] again and followed the chemical trace back up into Knights Inn,” he said. “It appeared that someone staying in the motel had washed out their industrial equipment with some kind of solvent, most likely a petroleum-type of product again.” Similar to the initial incident, the Engineering Department issued a second notice of violation in which they required that Knights Inn take appropriate measures to make the discharge “cease and desist.” Smith said that Knights Inn responded within the time limits, closed off the area and asked that no one staying at their motel wash off any type of equipment. Although Smith is uncertain whether or not either of these events relates back to the spill currently outside of Harban’s, he guaranteed that the city is currently in the process of taking all actions necessary to resolve the matter. “I’m just hoping that it’s not some sort of illegal activity like drugs or something being cooked,” Smith worried. “But we’re hoping to have the fire chief and a HazMat official visit the [Harban’s] location and figure out a way to get industrial services out there to clean that material up.”

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Winning Stache

No bones about it — best stache gets respect and lots and lots of loot

Well, gentlemen — you’ve submitted your photos. Now the time has come to determine just who among you has lip hair worthy of being anointed Best Mustache in Augusta. From June 21 to 24, visitors to metrospirit.com will be able to vote for their favorite mustache. There are some wild ones, so choose wisely. Then on Thursday, June 28, the Top 10 Best Staches will convene at The Country Club for a crazy night built to celebrate mankind’s love affair with the mustache. Conceived as an idea to bring attention to the fact that something as simple as shaving can use up to five gallons of water a day, this promotion has taken on a life of its own. After all, what is crazier than the idea of growing a mustache? In the summer. In Augusta. To properly celebrate, the night The Country Club has in store will be as flashy as Magnum’s Ferrari, as winning as Mark Spitz’s smile and as long as John Holmes’… well, you get the picture. Speaking of Mark Spitz, unlike the upcoming Summer Olympics, where the spirit of competition is celebrated by giving medals to the winner and the two also rans, the Best Mustache in Augusta is a true all-or-nothing affair. Plain and simple, you either have the best mustache in Augusta or you don’t, and if you don’t, the Male Code says you ought to have your face shaved in public spectacle. You won’t, of course, but you should, because once you’ve thrown your follicles into the ring and come up short, the shame of losing should drive you to a Gillette moment. That’s the thing about a good stache — people have no choice but to respect it, and they’ll respect it a lot more when they see the prizes that come along with it: a 21JUNE2012

trucker hat, a stein, a belt buckle and a long sleeved T-shirt — all adorned with the official Best Mustache in Augusta logo and all unique, one-of-a-kind items. The promoters made sure that if you’re wearing a Best Mustache in Augusta belt buckle or drinking from a Best Mustache in Augusta stein, you actually do have the best mustache in Augusta. Throw in 95Rock’s usual bucket load of great stuff (again, only for the winner) and you’ve got the makings of a big win. But despite the fact that the winner will have all that stuff, along with the notoriety and respect that comes from winning something as prestigious as this, it’s not all about the winner, because you don’t need a mustache to enjoy a dollar draft from the world famous (and world record holding) bottoms up machine, which actually fills your beer from the bottom up, giving you a quality beer with a perfect head and a commemorative and way cool plastic mug.

That’s taking dollar drafts to a whole new level. So get to metrospirit.com to rank your favorites and don’t forget to head out to The Country Club on Thursday, June 28 to see the spectacle for yourself. It’s something you’ll tell your grandkids about… as you tweak the curl on your Rollie Fingers.

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ERICJOHNSON

Kicking back doesn’t have to be a hassle… or cost an arm and a leg

Let’s face it — although the economy is better than it was a few years ago, most of us are still a ways away from pulling the trigger on a blowout summer vacation. But just because we’re staying close to the nest doesn’t mean we have to suffer through the next few months hunkered down in air-conditioned misery, streaming Netflix and ordering pizza. The Augusta area has plenty of fun and affordable things to do that will get you off the couch and into the action, and the best thing about it — many of them don’t require any of that pesky up front money that can keep us from having fun. Take camping, for example. Wouldn’t it be great to experience all the fun of spending time in the Great Outdoors without the hassles that come with having an ownership stake in it? For a lot of people, the answer to that is really big yes, which is where Mike DeLaigle and his E-Z RV Rental comes in. “With the state of the economy, people can’t afford campers, though they would still like to go camping,” DeLaigle says. “So we’re trying to provide a service to folks so people who are thinking about buying a camper can try it before they buy it.” Focused on the camping opportunities surrounding Clarks Hill Lake, where the Corps of Engineers alone operates 13 campgrounds, customers simply reserve a spot, then call DeLaigle to reserve a camper. The camper will be set up and ready when the customer arrives. “Basically, all the amenities are already in the camper,” he says. “Sheets, towels, pots and pans. All anybody needs to do is bring the food and meet with us for a little orientation.” Best of all, when it’s time to go home, DeLaigle returns to break it down, clean it up and take it away. Talk about pain-free camping. “This way, customers don’t have to fool with ownership and having to have a vehicle large enough to pull the camper,” he says. “They don’t have to work with the ownership and insurance involved with the campers and paying taxes on them and making payments on them. All they’ve got to do is rent it.” DeLaigle, who also supplies RVs for construction workers down at Plant Vogtle, says his rental camping operation is still in its infancy, but he’s excited by the feedback he’s received. Rates for the 28-foot air-conditioned campers run 16 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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Arts

Summer Reception, featuring ar tists Ellen Cowne (jewelry), Jane Kober (stained glass) and Josh Thomas (por traits), is Friday, June 22, from 5-8 p.m. at the McDuffie Ar ts Council on Main Ar t Gallery in Thomson. Visit mcduffiear tscouncil.com. Call for Entries for the Augusta Photo Festival, which is October 27-November 4, is going on now through August 1. For contest rules and more information, visit augustaphotofestival.org/ competition.html. Call 706-834-9742 or email info@augustaphotofestival.org. Active-duty military personnel and their families will receive free admission to the Morris Museum of Ar t through Sunday, September 2, as par t of the museum’s par ticipation in the Blue Star Museum program. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org.

ENTERTAIN

Day of Ar t, hosted by the Nor th Augusta Ar tists Guild, is each Tuesday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. at the Ar ts and Heritage Center and includes a group of ar tists painting in the center who will answer questions or allow visitors to join in. Call 803-4414380 or visit ar tsandheritagecenter.com.

Exhibitions

Hamburg: The Forgotten Town, an historical exhibit on the town which flourished on the South Carolina banks near the modern Fifth Street Bridge, shows June 28-August 24 at the Ar ts & Heritage Center of Nor th Augusta. Call 803-441-4380 or visit ar tsandheritagecenter.com.

Newberry Street turns into a beach on Thursday, June 21, from 5:30-11 p.m. during Downtown Beach Blast, an event that includes shag dancing, music, a kids craft from 6-7:30 p.m. and more. Call 803-649-2221 or visit downtownaiken.com.

Adult Student Ar t Exhibition, open to any adult or teen who has taken a class at the Aiken Center for the Ar ts since July of 2011, shows through July 28. Call 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterfor thear ts.org.

ACA Summer Camp Exhibition, featuring the works of par ticipants in the center’s summer ar t camps, shows June-August at the Aiken Center for the Ar ts. Call 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterfor thear ts.org.

Plein Air Painters Exhibition, including the works of Sally Donovan, Marilyn Har tley, Ann LeMay, Sharon Taylor Padgett, Jane Popiel and Carol Sue Rober ts, shows in June at the Aiken Center for the Ar ts’ AAG Gallery. Call 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterfor thear ts.org.

Binding Wounds, Pushing Boundaries: African Americans in Civil War Medicine is a National Library of Medicine and the National Institutes of Health exhibit that will be on display at the Rober t B. Greenblatt Library at GHSU through June 23. Visit georgiahealth.edu.

ASU/NYC Ar t Exhibition, featuring manipulated photography and wall-sized painting created by ASU students, shows in the Mary S. Byrd Gallery of Ar t until July 23 and at the Morris Museum of Ar t until July 1. Visit aug.edu.

The watercolor works of South Carolina native Renea H. Eshleman are on display through June 30 at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

The Work of Ceramic Ar tist Kyungmin Park is on view through July 27 at the Ger trude Herber t Institute of Ar t. Call 706-722-5495 or visit ghia. org. Sally’s Ar t Exhibition shows through the end of the month at Gaar tdensity downtown and features hand-embroidered, cross-stitched and sewn works made with recycled materials. Call 706-466-5166 or email gaar tdensitygallery@rocketmail.com. Spaces Between, paintings by Staci Swider, is an exhibition that shows in June at Gaar tdensity downtown. Call 706-466-5166 or email gaar tdensitygallery@rocketmail.com. Harriet Speer Ar t Exhibition shows through the end of the month at Casa Blanca Cafe. Call 706504-3431 or visit casablancatime.com. Annual Photography Exhibition shows through July 31 at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History. Call 706-724-3576 or visit lucycraftlaneymuseum.com. Tying the Knot, a display of wedding dresses and accessories from the late 1800s to the 1960s, now shows at the Augusta Museum of History. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org. 20 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

David Mascaro Studio Group Exhibit, featuring the work of Yong Ae Alford, Cathy Armstrong, Mary Ann Brock, Carolyn Bohn, Sharon Fausnight, Linda B. Hardy, Miriam Katz, Linda Lavigne, David Mascaro and Sue Por terfield, will be on display through June 29 at Sacred Hear t Cultural Center. Call 706-826-4700 or visit sacredhear taugusta. org. Golden Afternoon: English Watercolors from the Elsley Collection shows through July 1 at the Morris Museum of Ar t. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. Window on the West: Views from the American Frontier, an exhibition of more than 60 paintings and works on paper from ar tists including Frederick Remington, Karl Bodmer and John James Audubon, shows at the Morris Museum of Ar t through July 22. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org.

Music

or visit aug.edu. Moonlight Music Cruise featuring Impulse Ride is Friday, June 22, at 7 p.m. at the Augusta Canal. Par ticipants are invited to bring snacks and drinks to the one and a half hour Petersburg Boat cruise. $25. Call 706-823-0440 or visit augustacanal.com. The Columbia County Amateur Series, featuring Eli Montgomery, Synkronisity and Dayz to Come, is Friday, June 22, at 7 p.m. at the Columbia County Amphitheater. Call 706-868-3349 or visit columbiacountyga.gov.

Cour tland Saxon and Preston & Weston perform as par t of Garden City Jazz’s Candlelight Jazz Series on Sunday, June 24, at the 8th Street River Stage downtown at 8 p.m. Free. Visit gardencityjazz.com. 2012 Hopelands Summer Concer t Series, featuring Aiken Brass, is Monday, June 25, at 7 p.m. at Hopelands Gardens in Aiken. Par ticipants should bring lawn chairs and blankets. Free. Call 803642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Evenings in the Appleby Garden, featuring the Signal Corps Band, is Tuesday, June 26, at 8 p.m. Guests are encouraged to bring their own chairs and blankets. Free. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. Rober t Earl Keen performs Wednesday, June 27, at 8 p.m. at the Imperial Theatre. $14-$24. Call 706722-8341 or visit imperialtheatre.com. Music in the Park, featuring Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold, is Thursday, June 28, at 7 p.m. at the Maude Edenfield Park in Nor th Augusta. Free. Call 803-442-7588 or visit naar tscouncil.org.

Music in the Park, featuring Savannah River Brass Works, is Thursday, June 21, at 7 p.m. at the Maude Edenfield Park in Nor th Augusta. Free. Call 803-442-7588 or visit naar tscouncil.org.

The Salvation Army School of the Performing Ar ts holds classes each Tuesday. Included is instruction in piano, drums, guitar, voice and brass. Call 706364-4069 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Band Camp Concer t, presented by the ASU Conservatory Program, is Friday, June 22, at 6:30 p.m. at the Maxwell Theatre. Call 706-731-7971

Literary

Brown Bag Book Discussion, featuring “Half Broke Horses” by Jeanette Walls, is Thursday, June 21,

at 11:30 a.m. at the Columbia County Library. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org.

Book Discussion, featuring Dean Koontz’s “Life Expectancy,” is Thursday, June 21, at 4 p.m. at the Harlem Branch Library. Call 706-556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org. It’s Your Book Club, featuring “Infidel” by Ayaan Hirsi Ali, meets Thursday, June 21, at 6:30 p.m. at the Headquar ters Branch Library. Call 706-8212600 or visit ecgrl.org. Novel Writing Demystified, a workshop taught by author Karin Gillespie, is Saturday, June 23, from 10 a.m.-noon at Nor th Augusta’s Nancy Carson Library. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 803-279-5767 or visit abbe-lib.org. Yes You! An Enter taining Autobiography in Three Easy Steps, 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m., and The Seven Steps to a Wildly Successful Book Tour, 1-2:30 p.m., are workshops on Saturday, June 23, at the Headquar ters Branch Library taught by Liz Coursen, author of “Brunswick and Bowdoin College” and “The Complete Biography Workshop.” Pre-registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Book Around Town, featuring “Another Roadside Attraction” by Tom Robbins, is Wednesday, June 27, from 6-8 p.m. Call for meeting location. Call 706-791-2323 or visit for tgordon.com. Kroc Book Club, featuring “everything Is Illuminated by Johnathan Safran Foer, meets Wednesday, June 27, at 6:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Free. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Maxwell Morning Book Club, featuring “The Warmth of Other Suns” by Isabel Wilkerson, is Thursday, June 28, at 10 a.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org. East Central Georgia’s Summer Reading Program continues through July 20. Categories include Dream Big: Read! for children up to 12 years old, Own the Night for those ages 13-19 and Cover 2 21JUNE2012

LATCHKEY KID

The Human Condition and Neurotic Fathers Though it would seem to go against what passes for my personality, I am a sucker for a ceremony. The formality. The pomp. The ritualism. I truly do love it. Then I’ll get all sentimental and try to play it off. Even now, in my 40s, I try to check my emotions. Perhaps it’s a male thing — though I am loath to break such things down along gender lines. My appreciation of these displays is funny, I suppose (because that sounds nicer than hypocritical). While I am not a proponent of marriage, in a heartbeat I’ll get misty along with the bride’s father at a wedding. I am not particularly religious, but as a spectator, I marvel at spiritual services. Taking communion, especially, intrigues me — I find the whole of it lovely. And so on. So, knowing me as I do, it was with little surprise that I struggled a bit to maintain my composure recently at my Boy’s elementary school graduation. Sure I’ve ridiculed the over-celebration of minutiae for as long as I can remember. But the moment it is your blood standing handsome and proud in front of you and hundreds like you, you are allowed to readdress your reasoning and bathe in the rite of passage. That is to say, you are encouraged to get over yourself and enjoy the ceremony. At such events, you get to appreciate the previous challenges and rewards; and you get to fret the looming challenges and rewards. In Nashville proper, fourth grade marks the end of the elementary years. Fifth grade is the initiation into middle school. The words alone feel heavy on my tongue. Middle school. The place where personalities re-evolve and vindictiveness is redefined. The place where social drama threatens to blight childhoods. I’m not sure I am father enough to weather it.

METRO SPIRIT 06.21.12

RYANBURKHOLDER, a 40-something former latchkey kid who lived in Augusta for 30 years, now calls Nashville, Tennessee, home, where he lives with his 10-year-old son Emerson and their 17-year-old cat Potter. Happily divorced, he works in the communications department for a large healthcare company and describes himself as apolitical, an “unfortunate packrat who despises clutter” and a First Amendment purist. He loves small-batch bourbons, good cigars and exotic food (including Waffle House), but dislikes warm beer and most people in grocery stores. “I’ve also sat proudly atop the aged Army tank at Pendleton King Park at least 100 times,” he says.

Forget what it does to the kids. What about the parents? Some of my misgivings, I’m sure, come from my own horrific experiences in grades fifth through seventh. As a product of a misguided social experiment, I was bused to Ursula Collins Elementary — dangerously ensconced behind barbed wire front to back. The cruelties endured then and there remain a part of me some 35 years later. But, in fairness, a few morsels of construction remain as well. As best I can tell, the racial politics of those days remain mostly unresolved all these years later. Disappointing, of course. But ultimately a larger thing for which I have no patience — many of us wrapped in barbed wire of our own. My selective naiveté allows me to revel in the fact that my rising middle schooler remains not so much colorblind (for that can be a problem unto itself) but entirely indifferent to the politics of race. This window, of course, is quickly closing as he takes more notice of the media and politicians and opportunists and other fools who thrive on maintaining and promoting a crippling divisiveness. But at least for now, I get to encourage the Boy’s inherent decency and values. His disappointment over the state of such nastiness will arrive all too soon, I fear.

temptations of youth (which will carry over into adulthood), the insecurities and the pressures to perform academically. The truth is, I’m not worried about this stuff in the sense that my Boy won’t be able to handle whatever is thrown at him. He has my every confidence. And, I suppose, I’m not worried either about it in terms of the larger scheme. To do so would be selfish. These years, these experiences, will belong to my son. Not to me. I wouldn’t dare deprive him of such. These are simply some things that are on my mind as I contemplate Emerson growing up, moving forever forward. Knowing his heart as I do and the toll and rewards the next few years will bring is exciting. And frightening. So I am doing what many other parents of rising middle schoolers are doing. I’m being a little selfserving. I’m being a little cautious. I’m being supportive. I’m being proud.

So last week, while my Boy took his place front and center, gracing his way through the symbolic, his first 10 years played on a loop in my heart. He was on my hip while I stood knee deep in the Gulf, stingrays all around us. He was on my lap on the porch watching a Tennessee thunderstorm roll in, tiny hands clapping with every groan of thunder. He was leaping into my arms at the airport after I get that my concerns may present as little having visited his mother. He was turning to more than a middle-aged rant. And I’m all too me with a smile and wave just as he had done aware that I dwell on and worry about things every school morning for five years. that simply do not deserve my time. It’s a quirk of mine. Let’s pretend it is endearing. I fought back tears because sometimes men do that. Let’s pretend it is endearing. Let’s pretend that I’m not rehashing my own I love a ceremony. experience. And let’s pretend that I’m not also dreading the approaching gender politics, bullies, absurdity of peer pressure,

METRO AUGUSTA PARENT | JUNE 2012

Summer Fruit Buying Tips

Food Court

SIMPLE FRUIT COBBLER

So do you thump the melon and squeeze the plums, or is it the other way around? And what in the world do you do to the berries? For those of us whose gardening experience is limited to that butter bean science project in elementary school, shopping for and choosing fresh fruit can be a bit intimidating. And let’s face it, there’s nothing worse than reaching into the refrigerator to discover that the berries you just bought now need a shave. Whether you’re hitting the produce department of the grocery store, an open air market or a fruit stand set up for the season, these tips will help you pick and choose your fresh fruit with confidence. As for figuring out how to open those plastic produce bags, you’re on your own.

Cantaloupe A ripe melon will have a mild, not overpowering, melon smell. It should have a nice rounded shape and even markings on its surface. Golden melons are at the peak of ripeness. A green melon will ripen at room temperature within a few days.

Honeydew Melon A ripe honeydew should also have a mild, sweet melon smell. The rind should be creamy yellow and slightly soft. If the melon is completely ripe, store the melon for about three days at room temperature before cutting it.

Once you’ve chosen the perfect peach or strawberry, why not take a few minutes and whip up something that will amaze your family? And don’t forget the vanilla ice cream — cobbler wouldn’t be cobbler without it oozing down the sides of the bowl! 5-6 cups of fresh fruit (peeled, cored and cut into pieces) or berries 1 tablespoon lemon juice 1 cup, plus one tablespoon sugar 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon 1 3/4 cups sifted flour 1 teaspoon baking powder 1/2 teaspoons salt 6 tablespoons butter, chilled and cut into pieces 1 cup milk 1 egg Preheat oven to 375°F. Butter a 9-inch deep-dish pie pan or two-quart baking dish. Add the fruit, lemon juice, one cup sugar and cinnamon and toss until the fruit is coated. To prepare the topping, sift together the flour, remaining sugar, baking powder and salt in a separate bowl, then cut in the butter with a fork until you have a dough the consistency of coarse meal. Add all but one tablespoon of the milk and stir until it forms a soft, sticky dough. Drop the dough by tablespoonfuls onto the top of the fruit. Mix the remaining milk with the egg until it’s well blended, then brush the surface of the dough with the mixture. Bake uncovered 30-35 minutes, until the fruit is bubbly and the top is brown.

Watermelon Because a watermelon will not continue to ripen after it’s cut, choose your melon carefully. When you thump it, the melon should sound hollow. But because some overripe melons may also pass the “thump test,” this shouldn’t be your only qualification. The melon should be firm and the outer skin should be dull. Look at the bottom. It should be pale green to pale yellow, or even beginning to turn white. Already-cut watermelon should have bright pink or red flesh. An overripe or old melon will have a lot of visible fibers or white streaks.

Berries When choosing raspberries, blueberries or blackberries, don’t purchase a container with visible juice stains. That’s a good indication that the berries are overripe, crushed or possibly moldy. Wrinkled fruit has been stored too long. Soft, watery fruit is overripe. Blueberries should be deep blue-black or purple. Don’t wash your berries until you’re ready to use them, and make sure to use within two or three days of purchase. JUNE 2012 | METRO AUGUSTA PARENT

METRO SPIRIT 06.21.12

Plums Plums should have smooth, unblemished skin that feels firm, but juicy. The fruit should have a light, sweet smell. Don’t buy plums that are overly soft or leaking juice. Plums will continue to ripen after they are picked, and this process can be helped along by storing them in a brown paper bag for several days.

Peaches Choose peaches that have a fresh, peachy smell and no green tinge to the fruit’s coloring. The peaches should be firm, but should give a little when you squeeze them in the palm of your hand. Pick fruit that seems heavy for its size. Peaches will continue to ripen by storing them in a brown paper bag for a few days.

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METRO AUGUSTA PARENT | JUNE 2012

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No Price Tag on Parenthood Liz Posey Jones is a very healthy person; fitness is, in fact, her business. But she knew early on that she and her husband might need assistance in order to have a child of their own. “I’m a very healthy person, really,” she laughs. “It’s funny: I’m a big runner, I teach aerobics for a living, I eat healthy.” Liz laughs because, despite all her efforts, she suffered a number of setbacks in her late teens: she had her gallbladder, large intestines, appendix, left ovary and left fallopian tube all removed. “Not all at once; this was over about four years,” she says. “But other than those things, I never get sick.” Fortunately, Liz grew up in North Augusta and knew exactly who she wanted to turn to for help when it came time for her and husband Rob to conceive: Dr. Edouard Servy. “My dad is Stephen Posey, who owns a funeral home in North Augusta, and they’ve known Dr. Servy for years,” she says. “They’ve had many friends who’ve used Dr. Servy. I knew I wanted to use him and we were fortunate that the timing worked out for us perfectly.” Liz and Rob, who have been married for six years, had been living in Utah but moved to Augusta in August of 2010. By the time Christmas rolled around, Liz found out she was pregnant by in-vitro fertilization.

“Their office is closed for Christmas, so I went and got my own pregnancy test,” she remembers. “I took one and it was positive and, I’m sure my husband thought I was nuts, but I went and bought, like, 10 more of them. I finally texted Beth [Purvee, Dr. Servy’s assisted reproduction coordinator] and said I think I’m pregnant. I’ve taken 10 pregnancy tests but I’m not positive.” Needless to say, Liz was pregnant and, on August 24, 2011, Elle Posey Jones was born. Unlike Liz, not all women are fortunate enough to have firsthand knowledge of the Servy Massey Fertility Institute. Fortunately for everyone, however, the institute’s reputation is so well respected that couples having problems conceiving need only ask their OB/ GYN for a recommendation. Such was the case with Kristi and Raleigh Callaway, a Greensboro, Georgia, couple. “It was Aprile Melton, the first women’s health nurse practitioner that I saw,” Kristi remembers. “She recommended that I come in and see Dr. Servy.” The Callaways had been trying to conceive since they married in 2004 and, up until they visited Dr. Servy, doctors had always focused their attentions on Kristi. “I had two laparoscopies. We definitely should have stopped fertility treatments before we did, but my OB/ GYN thought I just wasn’t ovulating,” Kristi says. “My

husband is a good bit older than me and had already been married and had a child, so we just assumed the problem was me. But it wasn’t.” The first step Dr. Servy took, Kristi says, was to run some tests on Raleigh, which is when they discovered that her husband’s diabetes was the reason they were having difficulties. Fortunately, the Servy Massey Institute knew a way to get around the problem, and the Callaways were able to store enough sperm to conceive not only one, but two daughters by IVF. “We conceived our second child with sperm that was frozen from our first,” she explains. Delaini was born October 3, 2009, and Brayleigh was born June 9, 2012. Liz and Kristi only speak praises for the Servy Massey Institute, and both would know since the IVF process requires lots of phone calls, monitoring and doctor visits. “It’s funny: When you do in-vitro, you have to come to the office at random times because they have to count your eggs. Beth gives you her cell phone number and you have to text her at certain times,” Liz says. “So you do get to know everybody pretty well because they have to monitor you.” “They’re great — all of their staff is great,” Kristi agrees. “It’s a super emotional time and they are very,

very caring. You don’t just feel like another patient, you feel like they actually care about your story. And my husband is actually a very private, personal person

and he was made to feel very comfortable asking questions.” Both women don’t hesitate in saying they would

Visiting the Servy Massey Fertility Institute When couples first come to the Servy Massey Fertility Institute, they have often already spent months, if not years, trying to get pregnant on their own or with the help of their OB-GYN. So while they might be expecting to jump right in and begin in-vitro fertilization, what actually happens might surprise them. Dr. Servy explains that the first step is one going backward instead of forward. “We see a lot of couples who have had several miscarriages: two, three or four miscarriages,” he said. “We don’t want them to conceive again until we determine why.” Regardless of the reason, whether couples have conceived and lost babies or have never conceived at all, Dr. Servy and his staff spend a lot of time during the preliminary stages trying to determine the cause of the problem. Both partners are asked to fill out medical histories and submit to tests to accomplish this goal. “We go through everything that they have done,” Dr. Servy said. “We try to be as concise as possible because we don’t want them to spend a fortune.” After pages of forms and batteries of tests, Dr. Servy said that, in most cases, the cause or causes can be pinpointed fairly quickly. “We usually have an idea of the cause within five or six weeks,” he said. “We call them factors and there can be one factor or there can be many factors: they could have blocked fallopian tubes or the sperm count could be too low.” Only when the problem is determined is it time to decide on a course of action.

“Once we have an idea of the cause, that’s when we counsel the patients and let them know what their best option is,” he said. “Sometimes they have two or three options and they have to choose what fits their needs and their financial situations. There are a lot of things that aren’t covered by insurance and that’s one of the reasons why we offer the low-cost invitro fertilization. Especially now when the economy is so bad. Banks won’t loan anybody any money.” If in-vitro fertilization is the answer, one round can take at least two months and includes weekly (even daily) doctor visits, a multitude of medications and several procedures. After a couple discovers they are pregnant, they still see Dr. Servy. Most of the time it’s until the 12week mark, when they are sent back to their OB-GYN.

recommend the institute to others having difficulty conceiving. And even with the institute’s recent lowcost IVF program, Kristi knows that money is often a couple’s first concern. To them, she has a simple answer. “My husband and I actually joke about how expensive our babies were before they even came into the world,” she laughs, “but you can’t put a price on it. Absolutely not.”

Helping a Family through Egg Donation Families come in all shapes and sizes, and not get a shot in the lower part of the fatty part of my all are formed the traditional way. Some are made stomach,” says Amanda. “My husband gave them through adoption, others through blended families. to me. I hate shots, but this wasn’t bad. I could These days, families can also be made through the hardly feel it.” miracle of egg donation. She went in to the clinic a few times a week, Some women, due to age or physical reasons, where the staff checked on her progress. cannot produce their own viable eggs. But today, “But other than that, I lived my regular life, and through donor eggs and in-vitro fertilization (IVF), did nothing else different,” Amanda says. these women can still carry and give birth to a Approximately two months after being chosen as child. a donor, it was time for her egg retrieval. How does it work? Put quite simply, eggs are “I went into the clinic and they put me under harvested from a willing donor, fertilized with a with a light anesthetic,” she recalls. “I was asleep for partner’s or donor’s sperm and then implanted into about 30 minutes, and then my husband drove me the womb of the waiting mother-to-be. home. That was it.” The whole process involves an amazing amount The retrieval produced 26 eggs. of science and know-how, and it’s not cheap for Since donors don’t know their recipients or what the hopeful parents. But none of that matters when happens to their eggs, Amanda isn’t sure what you’re holding a new baby in your arms. resulted from her donation. All she knows is that So who are these egg donors — and why would she gave a woman a very precious gift — the chance they want to donate their eggs to another family? to become a mother. Amanda* is a 27-year-old Georgia woman who The process was so positive that Amanda has chose to become an egg donor after watching decided to donate again. She is waiting to get the friends and family go through the sorrow of call that she has been chosen to help someone else. infertility. “I’m happy to do it,” she says. “A friend of mine went through IVF treatment For more information on becoming an egg donor three times,” Amanda says. “And my aunt was or egg recipient, contact the Servy Massey Fertility never able to have children of her own. I saw the Institute at ivfga.com. effect that this had on them.” Shortly after Amanda and her husband had their *Amanda’s name has been changed for the purposes first child, she brought up the idea of becoming an of this story. egg donor. “I love being a mother,” Amanda says. “My son is amazing, and I can’t imagine not being able to have him. I wanted to give that gift to other women. My husband’s only concern was that we remain anonymous. When we learned that egg donors are completely anonymous, he was fully supportive.” Because of their religious background, the couple chose to keep their decision private and didn’t share it with friends and family. “It was something special that we chose to do together,” she says. The couple did their research and found a reputable fertility clinic that worked with egg donors. The staff was helpful, providing all the necessary information and answering all their questions. The monetary compensation for egg donation, which can range from $3,000 to $8,000 in various parts of the country, was helpful, Amanda says. “But that’s not the only reason I chose to donate my eggs.” At the fertility clinic, she underwent an initial health screening and then a psychological evaluation. Upon a final review, she was listed in the egg bank as a potential egg donor. Four weeks later, she was chosen as a donor. That began the process of prepping Amanda’s body for the egg retrieval. Medications helped bring her cycle into alignment with the recipient’s cycle. “At home, every night before bed for four to six weeks, I had to

Edouard J. Servy, MD Dr. Edouard Servy created the Servy Institute for Reproductive Endocrinology in 1976, almost a decade before the advent of one of the most common fertility treatments. Dr. Servy, a native of France, first came to Augusta in 1969, after finishing medical school and a residency in endocrinology and metabolic disease, for a fellowship in reproductive endocrinology under Dr. Robert Greenblatt. It was during this time that Dr. Servy met his wife, Cheryl, to whom he has been married for 41 years now. The couple has four children. After Dr. Servy’s fellowship, he returned to France and returned in 1973 for an OB/GYN residency at MCG. Since opening the Servy Institute, Dr. Servy has seen one advance after another when it comes to infertility treatments, and has often been involved in some of the area’s historic advancements. His lab, for instance, was the first to developt intrauterine insemination (artificial insemination, as it is more commonly known) in the world, and that infertility procedure is still one of the most commonly performed. And while his current business partner, Dr. Joe Massey, may have had the first live birth in Georgia resulting from in-vitro fertilization, Dr. Servy had the second. Dr. Servy, however, hasn’t confined himself to the practice of medicine. He is one of the founding members of the rugby club at MCG, a club that would go on to become the Augusta Rugby Club. Dr. Servy and Dr. Massey began providing low-coast IVF treatments last fall and he says the satisfaction of helping patients attain their goals makes it all worthwhile. “Obviously, you cannot be fully satisfied until the couple have their child,” he said. “And that is the best feeling, when they come back with the child who is two or three months old. And most of them do come back. We have plenty of pictures.”

Joe B. Massey, MD Dr. Edouard Servy and Atlanta’s Dr. Joe. B. Massey are hardly strangers, having first met in the mid-1980s when Dr. Massey had just begun to move into the area of assisted reproduction. “Before the mid-1980s, there wasn’t much you could do for infertility,” he explained. “But over the past 25 or 28 years, there’s been huge advances, and IVF [in-vitro fertilization] has become more and more successful. In the 1980s, the success rate was 15 percent and now, patients who are, let’s say, in their mid-30s have a success rate in the

mid-40 percent range.” The increasing practicality of IVF in the 1980s was the reason Dr. Massey first began to focus on infertility, and it was during that time that he co-founded a clinic in Atlanta called Reproductive Biology Associates, responsible for the first baby born by IVF in Georgia. Dr. Massey spent some time practicing with Dr. Robert Kiltz at CNY Fertility Center in Syracuse, New York, one of the first clinics to offer IVF to patients at a reduced cost. It was Dr. Massey’s goal of bringing low-cost IVF to the South that brought him back to Georgia. And collaborating with Dr. Servy seemed like a natural fit. The two pioneers in the field offer patients an almost 50 percent discount on IVF, with Dr. Servy overseeing the Augusta office and laboratory, and Dr. Massey operating a satellite office near Northside Hospital in Atlanta. Dr. Massey says providing help to those who need it is his passion and patients seem to be responding. “Our early experience is that people who don’t have insurance, and those who find it difficult to get into the system under the old pricing model, are responding,” he said. “It’s a good service and good pricing, so it’s good for everyone.”

The Servy Massey Fertility Institute was founded on the belief that fertility treatment should be more affordable and accessible to all. The Institute’s founders, Dr. Edouard Servy and Dr. Joe B. Massey, are pioneers in reproductive endocrinology and the treatment of infertility, and have been helping patients build families for more than 30 years. With offices in Atlanta and Augusta, Georgia, the Servy Massey Fertility Institute serves the southeast region, the US and abroad.

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A BRIDGE B E T W E E N

COUNTRIES Children Inspiring Hope connects kids in the U.S. and Ghana

While school is out in Augusta, children are still in school in Ghana, West Africa. And several of those still in school are there due to the generosity of students from local schools. The students’ generosity stemmed from a cultural exchange facilitated by a nonprofit organization based in Atlanta called Children Inspiring Hope. Amy Gaylor, a former Augusta resident who was the director of the Child Advocacy Center here, founded the organization after she herself went to Ghana in 2006 to volunteer with Cross-Cultural Solutions, a nonprofit voluntourism group. “Africa had kind of been calling for a long time,” Gaylor said of why she packed up and left. “I never did the Peace Corps in college or studied abroad. It was kind of a whisper. I was in a soul-searching place at that time and I took a leap of faith and it has definitely been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.” Thinking she was going to be teaching during her three months in Africa, Gaylor sent out emails asking friends who were teachers to have their kids send something… anything… to the kids in Ghana so they could see what life was like here. She got tons of drawings and artwork that she took with her and was able to use, even though she ultimately didn’t work in a classroom. “You get placed where you need to be rather than where you want to be, so I got put in a hospital helping social workers,” she said. “This thing has been so serendipitous from the beginning. I made so many community contacts working in the hospital and, had I been one teacher in one classroom, this never would have happened.” Because of things like the community contacts she made in the hospital and the drawings that American schoolchildren sent to Africa, she began to piece together the idea for Children Inspiring Hope. The final piece in the puzzle came during one of the many days she spent in the pediatric unit of a hospital there. “There was a kid there and he had burns over a significant part of his body,” she said. “And this was the hottest of all the trips I’ve made over there. So here’s this kid in this open-air hospital, not on any pain medication, and I just really wanted to take his pain away. I was standing in the doorway and, for a minute, I was really feeling pity for him. But he conveyed to me, albeit silently, that he didn’t want my pity; he needed our hope. And I realized that pitying doesn’t help anyone.” Once Gaylor returned to the U.S. and settled in Atlanta, she said it took about two years and another 5-6 week trip to Ghana in 2008, in which she took about 250 projects from U.S. classes (including C.T. Walker and Riverside Middle School), to get Children Inspiring Hope up and running. “I took peace flags from Riverside and drawings from C.T. Walker and worked with the children there and got a resounding yes,” JUNE 2012 | METRO AUGUSTA PARENT

METRO SPIRIT 06.21.12

she said. “So I came back and filed for 501c3 tax status and got it in July of 2008.” It’s May, the last week of school at C.T. Walker. Gaylor, who has set up a projector, gathers third graders in Mrs. Evans class in a circle and, holding hands, each shares his or her name and either one thing they liked about participating in Children Inspiring Hope during the school year or something about the environment they are grateful for. Most say things like they enjoyed learning about Ghana’s culture or communicating with kids from another country, and one, John Babinec, even says he’s looking forward to visiting the kids he’s been communicating with. They then view two videos, one which explores the eating habits of children in Ghana and the other shows Gaylor conducting a similar classroom lesson there. They marvel at how the lunchroom workers at the Ghana school don’t dish

METRO SPIRIT 06.21.12

the students’ food onto plates; rather, they put them into plastic bags. They look puzzled when Gaylor says that people in Ghana eat a lot of smoked fish, which they eat whole, even the bones. They talk about how strong one girl, shown bashing palm nuts with a mortar and pestle to make oil, must be. “Their culture and my Indian culture are very much the same,” says C.T. Walker student Swetha Ananth. Ananth is also excited to see her project, a picture of a piece of fruit pasted to a popsicle stick, on the video, and the student in Ghana reading the description of it that was pasted to the back of the picture. “Remember, English is their second language, so reading your projects took a little time and writing back to you in English took a little thought,” Gaylor said in response. Gaylor repeats the process in Dr. Painter’s class, giving each member of the classes a picture of the class in Ghana and survey to fill out. This is, of course, the last visit of the year, but these students have been communicating with their counterparts in Ghana throughout the school year. Children Inspiring Hope pairs a U.S. classroom with one in Ghana and conducts a fall and spring exchange. The fall one has a general theme, and past themes METRO AUGUSTA PARENT | JUNE 2012

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HOT POT. Monday -Thursday nights include One World, Many Stories and Paths to Peace. The spring exchange focuses on different aspects of the environment such as water and, this year, food. Gaylor visits classrooms in the U.S. and Ghana to make the exchange of projects, the subjects of which the children decide on themselves. “We start the school year by going in and discussing what the concepts are, but we also show them cross-cultural videos and then we brainstorm with them,” she explained. “The students brainstorm and figure out what they’re going to create. The projects then come in to us and we go over to Ghana. We’re the bridge. When we’re there, it’s a very jammed schedule, bring projects, talking about concepts and filming at the same time. We come back, work on the documentaries and bring them to the kids and talk about them: What did you see? How did you feel? What were the similarities and the differences? They know their projects are going to Africa, but to see them in the hands of another child is a whole different thing.” Dr. Painter, who began working with Children Inspiring Hope almost from the beginning, said that, at first, the children had a difficult time understanding what they could exchange. “When we started, the kids wanted to send things like books and toys and I had to explain that Miss Amy had to backpack with these things so they had to be kind of small and light,” she said. “And what they sent ended up being more personal.” “And when you give someone the gift of creativity, that’s something they keep with them forever,” Gaylor added. The program, which the U.S. students clearly love, is more than just fun, however. It connects children from two different continents in a way that reading about them in a textbook or seeing a documentary on television can’t. Gaylor says she sees it in the way students study the classroom pictures from Ghana or in their survey comments. But she has also been surprised by the lengths that some of the participating students have gone to. Such was the case with Mrs. Petty’s seventh grade class at Riverside Middle School. In February, those students surprised Gaylor with a $382 check for their scholarship fund, which helps children in Ghana stay in school. Two months before that, Gaylor JUNE 2012 | METRO AUGUSTA PARENT

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had shared stories from scholarship recipients with the class and, when they found out how little it cost, they decided to contribute by giving dollars, doing chores at home for money and giving leftover change from their lunch money. Unbeknownst to the U.S. students, a brother and sister in Ghana were trying to raise funds for their older sister Bernice. The three were recently orphaned and Bernice was considering dropping out of senior secondary school. Fred and Matilda had raised $120 on their own but needed more. Because of Riverside students, they got what they needed and Bernice was able to stay in school. “I am so thankful for this project and all we have learned this year,” Mrs. Petty told Gaylor. “I am

10 METRO SPIRIT 06.21.12

proud to be a teacher and know that my students have truly made a difference across the world. Not many teachers can say that.” It is that kind of connection that Gaylor hopes to make one classroom, and child, at a time. “What we want is just to make that connection that we’re all human beings,” she said. “We share a common humanity regardless of the soil we live on, the flag we salute or the god we pray to. These kids are not ever going to see the map the same way again.” For more information, visit childreninspiringhope. org.

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Cover for adults. Visit any branch or ecgrl.org. Por ter Fleming Literary Competition submissions are being accepted now through July 13. The competition is open to authors ages 18 and older from Georgia, Florida, Alabama, South Carolina and Nor th Carolina, and categories include fiction, nonfiction, poetry and plays. Prizes totaling $7,000 will be awarded. Entry forms and guidelines can be found at themorris.org/ por terfleming.html. Nook tutorials at Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall are each Saturday beginning at noon, followed by a Nookcolor tutorial at 12:30 p.m. Free. Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com.

Dance

Tango Night is every Thursday, 7-9:30 p.m., at Casa Blanca Cafe, 936 Broad Street. Call 706-504-3431 or visit casablancatime.com. Belly Dance Class is every Tuesday at 6 p.m. at Euchee Creek Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. Augusta International Folk Dance Club meets Tuesday nights from 7:30-9:30 p.m. at the Augusta Ballet Studio on 2941 Walton Way. No partners needed. First visit free. Call 706-399-2477.

Theater

“Proof,” a production of Aiken Community Playhouse’s Black Box Theatre, shows Friday-Saturday, June 22-23, at 8 p.m. at the URS Center for the Performing Arts. Saturday’s showing will be interpreted for the deaf and hard of hearing. $7-$20. Call 803-648-1438 or visit acp1011.com. Auditions for “Witness for the Prosecution,” a production of the Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre, are Tuesday-Wednesday, June 26-27, at 7:30 p.m. for the play, which shows in September. Call 706-791-4389 or visit fortgordon.com.

Flix

“The Adventure of Tintin” shows Saturday, June 23, at 2 p.m. at the Headquar ters Branch Library. Popcorn provided. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. “Bridge to Terabithia” shows Saturday, June 23, at 2:30 p.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. Par ticipants will receive a copy of the novel. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. “Twelfth Night,” a recording of Aiken Community Playhouse’s recent production, will show Saturday, June 23, at 3 p.m. at the Aiken Public Library. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org. “Kung Fu Panda 2” shoes Tuesday, June 26, at 2:30 p.m. at the Harlem Branch Library. Call 706556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org.

Special Events

Downtown Beach Blast on Newberry Street in Aiken is Thursday, June 21, from 5:30-11 p.m. and includes shag dancing, beach music, a kids craft from 6-7:30 p.m. and more. Call 803-649-2221 or visit downtownaiken.com. Freaky Pride Friday Rainbow Pool Par ty is Friday, June 22, at 5 p.m. at Fleming Pool. $7, including food and drinks. Visit augustapride.com. Augusta Pride 2012 is Saturday, June 23, and begins with a parade at 10 a.m. downtown. The festival is from 11 a.m.-6 p.m. at the Augusta Common and features vendors, as well as music from Josh Zuckerman, She N She, Dee Hemingway and Tom Goss. Visit augustapride.com. Great American Backyard Campout is SaturdaySunday, June 23-24, from 4 p.m.-9 a.m. Event includes dinner, boardwalk and trail walks, crafts, classes, gams and more. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com. Peace Potluck, an Aiken Peace Eighth Anniversary Celebration, is Tuesday, June 26, at 6:30 p.m. at the Aiken Unitarian Universalist Church. Par ticipants should bring a labeled vegetarian dish to share. Pre-registration required. Call 803-2153263 or email aiken.peace@gmail.com. Beer Dinner is Wednesday, June 27, at the Willcox Hotel in Aiken and includes four courses of food and four brews from New Zealand’s MOA Brewing Co. $50. Call 877-648-2200 or visit thewillcox.com. Weekly Wine Tastings at Vineyard Wine Market in Evans are each Friday from 4:30-6:30 p.m. and each Saturday from 1-6 p.m. Call 706-922-9463 or visit vine11.com. The Augusta Market at the River is every Saturday through October 27 from 8 a.m.-2 p.m. at the 8th Street Bulkhead and features produce, ar ts and crafts and more for sale, as well as live music and enter tainment. Call 706-627-0128 or visit theaugustamarket.com.

Health

Mobile Mammography Screenings, offered by appointment, are available June 21 at Christ Community Clinic; June 22 at the Columbia County campus on Flowing Wells; June 25 at Belle Terrace Health & Wellness Center; June 26 at SRS, Area H; June 27 at Fievet Pharmacy in Washington; and June 28 at Walmar t in Aiken. Appointments can be made from 8 a.m.-3 p.m. each day. Call 706-7744145 or visit universityhealth.org. Breastfeeding Class is Thursday, June 21, at 7 p.m. at Babies R Us. Pre-registration required. Call 706-774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org.

“The Ar tist” shows Tuesday, June 26, at 6 p.m. at the Headquar ters Branch Library. Free. Call 706821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Weekend Childbir th Education Class is Friday, June 22, from 6:30-9:30 p.m. and Saturday, June 23, from 9 a.m.-5:30 p.m. at University Hospital. Preregistration required. Call 706-774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org.

“Mr. Popper’s Penguins” shows Wednesday, June 27, at 1 p.m. at the Jabez S. Hardin Theatre inside the Columbia County Library as par t of the Family Movie Matinee series. Call 706-312-7194 or visit columbiacountyga.gov.

Shor t and Sweet, a weekend childbir th education class, is Saturday, June 23, from 9 a.m.-4:30 p.m. and Sunday, June 24, from 1-5 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Pre-registration required. Call 706-6512229 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

“Don Giovanni,” par t of the Met: Live in HD series, shows at the Regal Augusta Exchange Stadium 20 on Wednesday, June 27, at 6:30 p.m. Visit regmovies.com.

Hip Replacement Seminar, featuring a light dinner, is Monday, June 25, at 6 p.m. at St. John’s United Methodist Church in Aiken. Preregistration required. Call 800-322-8322 or visit aikenregional.com.

Monday Movie Matinees show at 2 p.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Par ticipants are invited to bring their own snacks. Call 706-7722432 or visit ecgrl.org. 21JUNE2012

Total Joint Replacement Educational Talk is Tuesday, June 26, from 1:30-3:30 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Pre-registration required. Call 706-651AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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survivors, and their families and friends are welcome. Call Tim Dorn at 706-651-6660 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

4343 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Top 10 Questions for Urologists, a free event featuring guest speaker Dr. Prakash Maniam, is Tuesday, June 26, at 5:30 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Dinner included, and pre-registration required. Call 706651-4343 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

Moms Connection, a free suppor t group for new mothers and their babies, meets Tuesdays from 1-2 p.m. at Georgia Health Sciences Building 1010C. Call 706-721-9351 or visit georgiahealth.org.

Education

Childbir th Education 101 is Thursday, June 28, from 6-8:30 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. Pre-registration required. Call 706-4817727 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Beginner’s Digital Photography Class is Thursday, June 21, from 1:30-4:30 p.m. at the Headquar ters Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-821-2604 or visit ecgrl.org.

Infant CPR Class is Thursday, June 28, at 7 p.m. at University Hospital. Pre-registration required. Call 706-774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org.

Free Home Purchase and Home Save Workshop, sponsored by Neighborhood Assistance Corporation of America (NACA), is Saturday, June 23 at the Headquar ters Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-855-7464 or visit naca.com.

Child Safety Seat Inspections and Car Seat Class, sponsored by Safe Kids East Central, are offered by appointment at either the Safe Kids Office or Mar tinez-Columbia Fire Rescue. Call 706-721-7606 or visit georgiahealth.org/safekids.

The West in the American Imagination, a lecture by ASU professor “Cowboy” Mike Searles, is Sunday, June 24, at 2 p.m. at the Morris Museum of Ar t. Free. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org.

Joint Effor ts, presented by Trinity Hospital of Augusta, meets every Thursday from 11-11:45 a.m. at Augusta Bone and Joint, and features a free seminar about knee and hip pain, treatments, medication, food and exercise. Call 706-481-7604 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Infant CPR Anytime Learning Program will be held Thursdays at 6:30 p.m. at the first floor information desk (west entrance) of Georgia Health Sciences University. Visit georgiahealth.edu. Multiple Sclerosis and Parkinson Disease Aquatics Class meets every Monday and Friday at noon at the Wilson Family Y. Free for members; $3 for non-members. Pre-registration required. Call Claudia Collins at 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org.

GED classes meet weekly at the Kroc Center. Pre-registration required. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Robert Earl Keen performs Wednesday, June 27, at 8 p.m. at the Imperial Theatre. $14-$24. Call 706-722-8341 or visit imperialtheatre.com.

Heart Attack and Stroke Prevention Orientation is every Monday at 6 p.m. Burn Outpatient Suppor t Group meets Wednesday, June 27, at 2 p.m. and Tuesday at 2 p.m. at University Hospital’s Heart & Vascular Institute at the Chavis House. Call 706-651-6660 or visit doctors-hospital.net. (Classroom 3). Call 706-774-5548 or visit universityhealth.org. Bariatric Seminar is Thursday, June 28, at 6 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Adapted Wii Special Populations available by appointment at the Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-651-4343 or visit Wilson Family Y, and feature individual ½-hour classes for physically doctors-hospital.net. and developmentally challenged individuals of all ages. $10, members; $20, non-members. Call Claudia Collins at 706-922-9662 Diabetes Youth Suppor t Group meets quar terly. For more information, or visit thefamilyy.org. call 706-868-3241 or visit universityhealth.org.

Support

Look Good, Feel Better Cancer Suppor t Group, for women who want to maintain their appearance and self-image during radiation and chemo, meets Thursday, June 21, at 5:30 p.m. at GHSU’s Cancer Center. Pre-registration required. Call 706-721-0466 or visit georgiahealth.org. Skip to My Lupus Suppor t Group meets Thursday, June 21, at 7 p.m. at Aiken Regional’s Dining Room A. Call 803-251-9413 or visit aikenregional.com.

Cardiac Suppor t Group meets three times a year. For more information on meetings, as well as for pre-registration, call 706774-5864 or visit universityhealth.org. Adult Sexual Assault and Rape Support meets for group counseling. For more information, call 706-724-5200 or visit universityhealth.org. Narcotics Anonymous, sponsored by Trinity Hospital of Augusta, meets Fridays and Sundays at 7:30 p.m. Call 706-855-2419 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Cancer Share Suppor t Group meets Monday, June 25, at 6 p.m. at AA meets every Sunday and Wednesday at 7:15 p.m. at Aiken University Hospital’s Breast Health Center. Call 706-774-8308 or visit Regional Medical Center (Aurora Pavilion), and features an open universityhealth.org. discussion. Call 800-322-8322 or visit aikenregional.com. Parkinson’s Disease Support Group meets Tuesday, June 26, at 6 p.m. at St. Johns Towers. Call 706-863-6355 or visit universityhealth.org.

22 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Burn Suppor t Group meets every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Doctors Hospital (Lori Rogers Nursing Library, JMS Building). All burn

Work Networking Group is held each Monday from 8:30-10 a.m. at Grace United Methodist Church in Nor th Augusta. A networking and informational meeting for anyone looking for a job, the group meets in room 206 of the Asbury Building and is facilitated by career and business professionals. Call 803-279-7525 or email doctor@ pritchardgroup.com. GED classes are offered every Monday and Thursday at 6 p.m. and every Monday-Thursday at 9:30 a.m. at the Headquar ters Branch Library (Third Floor Writing Lab). PINES library card required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Computer classes are offered every Thursday at 6 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org. ESL classes are offered every Wednesday at 6 p.m. at Headquar ters Branch Library (Third Floor Writing Lab). Pre-registration required. Call Charles Garrick at 803-279-3363 or visit ecgrl.org. Intermediate Spanish Language Class is each Monday from 2:30-4 p.m. at Friedman Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-7366758 or visit ecgrl.org. Beginner’s Spanish Language Class is each Monday from 4-5 p.m. at Friedman Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org.

Benefits

Third Annual Augusta Bachelor Auction, to benefit the American Cancer Society, is Friday, June 22, at 8 p.m. at the Partridge Inn. $15, advance; $20, door. Call 706-731-9900 or visit cancer.org. Karma Yoga is offered at Just Breathe Studio, downtown Aiken, each Friday at 10 a.m. and is free if participants bring a donation of a personal item, which will be given to the Cumbee Center to Assist Abused Persons. Call 803-648-8048 or visit justbreathestudio.com.

Sports-Outdoors

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The USA Cycling National Championships are Thursday, June 21-Sunday, June 24, at locations throughout the Augusta area including the Time Trial Championships at J. Strom Thurmond Dam on Thursday, June 21, at 8 a.m.; the National Criterium Championships in downtown Augusta on Friday, June 22, at 8 a.m.; and road races on For t Gordon Saturday and Sunday beginning at 8 a.m. Visit augustaspor tscouncil.org or usacycling.org. Grass Roots Series 6K is Saturday, June 23, at 8 a.m. at Blanchard Woods Park. $12 per race in advance; race-day registration also available between 7:15-7:50 a.m. Call 706-731-7914, email award4@aug.edu or visit codehugger.com/runrunrun/grassroots.pdf. The Augusta GreenJackets play the Asheville Tourists on MondayThursday, June 25-28, at 7:05 at Lake Olmstead Stadium. $7-$11. Call 706-736-7889 or visit greenjacketsbaseball.com. First Time 5K Program Information Session is Thursday, June 28, at 7:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. $50 for members; $75 for nonmembers. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. BlazeSpor ts Swim Team, for all ages of physically challenged swimmers who want to train for competition, meets at the Wilson Family Y. $35 a month, members; $50 a month, non-members. Preregistration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. Wheelchair Tennis is each Monday at 6 p.m., weather permitting, at the Club at Rae’s Creek. Free and open to the public. Call 706-8265809 or visit alsalley@wrh.org. Augusta Canal Boat Tours lasting one hour are offered MondaySaturday at 10 a.m., 11:30 a.m., 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m., and Sunday at 1:30, 3 and 4:30 p.m. All tours include admission to the Augusta Canal Interpretive Center. Call 706-823-0440 or visit augustacanal. com. The Augusta Fencers Club is open five nights a week from 5:30-9 p.m. and most Saturday mornings from 10 a.m.-noon. Visitors always welcome. Call 706-722-8878. Thursday Night Chain Reaction Ride begins at 6 p.m. each Thursday at Patriots Park in Grovetown. For intermediate to fast-paced cyclists, who average 25-32 miles. Par ticipants should bring their own water and helmet. Call 706-855-2024 or visit chainreactionbicycles.net. Riverview Disc Golf League meets each Thursday at 6 p.m. at Riverview Park in Nor th Augusta. $5 entry fee and $1 ace pool. Call 803-215-8181 or visit augustadiscgolf.com. Road Bike Ride meets each Thursday at 6:30 p.m. at Andy Jordan’s Bicycle Warehouse downtown for an approximately 25-mile ride at a moderate to fast pace. Front and rear lights, as well as a helmet, are required. Call 706-724-6777 or visit andyjordans.com. Guided Trail Rides at Hilltop Riding Stables at For t Gordon are available Saturdays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m., noon, 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m.; Sundays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m. and noon; and WednesdayFriday at 11 a.m. with reservations 24 hours in advance. All trail rides are on a first-come, first-served basis, and par ticipants should arrive 30 minutes prior to the trail ride star ting for sign in procedures. $23-$30. Call 706-791-4864 or visit for tgordon.com. Zumba with Sohailla is every Saturday from 10-11 a.m. at the Ballroom Dance Center in Evans. Call 706-421-6168 or visit zumbawithsohailla.blogspot.com. Saturday Historic Trolley Tours are Saturdays from 1:30-3:15 p.m. at the Augusta Museum of History. Reservations required 24 hours in advance. $12. Call 706-724-4067 or visit augustamuseum.org. Lakeside Rideouts at Hilltop Riding Stables at For t Gordon are each Sunday beginning at 1:30 p.m. on a first-come, first-served basis. The ride, which begins at 2 p.m., is a two-hour guided ride to Wilkerson Lake. $45-$50. Call 706-791-4864 or visit for tgordon. com. Yoga Class at Euchee Creek Branch Library meets every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. Pre-registration required. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. Weekly Group Runs include the Monday Metro Run meeting at Metro Coffeehouse at 6 p.m.; Monday Intervals meeting at the Family Y track on Wheeler Road at 7 p.m.; the Tuesday Nacho Mama’s Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday’s Blanchard Woods Group Run at 6 p.m.; 21JUNE2012

Wednesday Stay in Shape Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday’s Post Office Hill Training Run at 7 p.m.; Thursday’s Homer Hustle at 6 p.m.; and Saturday’s Stay in Shape Run at 8 a.m. For more information, visit augustastriders.com. Kroc Trotters Running Group meets Tuesdays at 6:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Free for members. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Hott Shott Disc Golf is each Wednesday at 7 p.m. at Killer B Disc Golf, 863 Broad Street, and features games and prizes for all ages and skill levels. $2. Call 706-814-7514 or visit killerbdiscgolf.blogspot. com/p/hott-shott.

Kids

Spider Story Time with Cathy Tugmon is Thursday, June 21, at 10 a.m. at the Headquar ters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. How Big Can You Dream, a children’s story time for those ages 2-8 that features a craft, is Thursday, June 21, at 10 a.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Just Dance Practice Rounds, a program for those in grades 6-12, is Thursday, June 21, at 3 p.m. at the Columbia County Library. Preregistration required. Call 706-447-7660 or visit ecgrl.org. Expressionist Painting, a young adult program in which ar tist Jeanine Rodriguez will guide par ticipants in creating their own work, is Thursday, June 21, at 4 p.m. at the Aiken Public Library. Call 803642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org. Hopi Indians, a special children’s program from the Morris Museum of Ar t, is Friday, June 22, at 10 a.m. at the Headquar ters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Aiken Community Playhouse Garden Theatre, featuring a production of “The Three Billly Goats Gruff,” is Friday, June 22, at 3 p.m. at Nor th Augusta’s Nancy Carson Library. Call 803-279-5767 or visit abbe-lib.org. Digital Photography Club for teens meets Friday, June 22, at 4 p.m. at the Columbia County Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. Insect Investigations, a hands-on class for those ages 5 and up, is Friday, June 22, at 4:30 p.m. at Reed Creek Park. Pre-registration required. Members, free; non-members, $2 per child. Call 706-2104027 or visit reedcreekpark.com.

Call 706-279-5767 or visit abbe-lib.org. Therapy Dogs, a special children’s program, is Tuesday, June 26, at 10 a.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Window on the West, a family program from the Morris Museum of Ar t, is Tuesday, June 26, at 10:30 a.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Recommended for those 12 and younger. Pre-registration required. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Manga Drawing Club for teens meets Tuesday, June 26, at 4 p.m. at the Columbia County Library. All supplies provided, and preregistration is required. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. Red Cross Babysitting Course meets Wednesday, June 27, from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. at the Kroc Center. For ages 11 and older, it is $50 for members and $65 for non-members. Pre-registration required. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?, a special children’s program, is Wednesday, June 27, at 10 a.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org. Yoga for Kids is Wednesday, June 27, at 10 a.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org. Creatures from the CSRA, a special kids program featuring Sean Poppy from the Savannah River Ecology Lab, is Wednesday, June 27, at 10:30 a.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. Special Surprise Story Time for all ages is Thursday, June 27, at 10:30 a.m. at the Euchee Creek Branch Library. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. Music and Stories of the Caribbean with Pantasia Steel Band is Wednesday, June 27, at 10:30 a.m. at Nor th Augusta’s Nancy Carson Library. Call 706-279-5767 or visit abbe-lib.org. Reptile Show is Wednesday, June 27, at 2 p.m. at the Columbia County Library. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. Music and Stories of the Caribbean with Pantasia Steel Band is Wednesday, June 27, at 2 and 3 p.m. at the Aiken Public Library. Call 706-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org. Special Story Time and Craft with the Morris Museum of Ar t is Wednesday, June 27, at 2:30 p.m. at the Harlem Branch Library. Preregistration required. Call 706-556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org.

Childcare and Babysitting Safety Class, for those ages 11-14, is Saturday, June 23, from 9 a.m.-3 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. $30, including lunch. Pre-registration required. Call 706-481-7604 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Plush Zombie Workshop, an Own the Night teen event, is Wednesday, June 27, at 3 p.m. at the Columbia County Library. All supplies provided, and pre-registration is requied. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org.

Nature Photography, a digital photography class for those ages 8 and up, is Saturday, June 23, at 10 a.m. at Reed Creek Park. Preregistration required. Members, free; non-members, $3 per child. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com.

Dream Jars, a special story and craft time for those ages 7-11, is Wednesday, June 27, at 3 p.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org.

Manga Drawing, a young adult program for those of all skill levels, is Saturday, June 23, from 2-4 p.m. at the Headquar ters Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl. org. Evolution of Hip Hop Dance Day Camp meets Monday, June 25-Friday, June 29, from 9 a.m.-noon at the Kroc Center. For ages 11-14. Preregistration required. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Dream Catcher, a special story and craft time for those ages 4-8, is Monday, June 25, at 3 p.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Call 706793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org. Embroiderers Guild Program, for those ages 12-18, is Monday, June 25, from 5:30-7 p.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. Just Dance Young Adult Program is Monday, June 25, at 5:30 p.m. at the Euchee Creek Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. T-Shir t Tech, a young adult program in which par ticipants will make something fashionable out of one of their own old T-shir ts, is Monday, June 25, at 7 p.m. at Nor th Augusta’s Nancy Carson Library.

Retro Family Game Night is Wednesday, June 27, at 5:30 p.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Augusta Players Youth Theatre Auditions, for those ages 10-19 who want to act in their last August production of “Seussical: The Musical,” are Wednesday, June 27, at 6 p.m. at Church of the Good Shepherd. Those auditioning should prepare a Broadway style song and bring sheet music; an accompanist will be provided. Call 706826-4707 or visit augustaplayers.org/youth.shtml. Safe Sitter, a babysitting instructional program for those ages 1113, is Thursday, June 28, from 9 a.m.-4 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Pre-registration required. Call 706-651-4343 or visit doctorshospital.net. Honey Bees, a special story time, is Thursday, June 28, at 10 a.m. at the Headquar ters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl. org. Jazz 4 Kids, featuring the book “This Jazz Man,” is Thursday, June 28 at 10 a.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. Wish Upon a Star, a story time for those ages 2-8, is Thursday, June AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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28, at 10 a.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-7722432 or visit ecgrl.org.

Maxwell Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is every Wednesday from 10-11:15 a.m. at Wallace Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org.

MarioKar t, a competition for those ages 10-16, is Thursday, June 28, at 3 p.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org.

Story Time at the Columbia County Library is each Tuesday at 11 a.m. for those under 2; Monday, Wednesday and Thursday at 10:15 a.m. for 2-year-olds; and Monday, Wednesday and Thursday at 11 a.m. for preschoolers. Call 706863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org.

Young Adult Karaoke Contest is Thursday, June 28, at 4 p.m. at the Harlem Branch Library. Preregistration required. Call 706-556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org. Knit Wits, a young adult program, is Thursday, June 28, at 4 p.m. at the Aiken Public Library. Call 706-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org.

Story Time at the Euchee Creek Branch Library, for all ages, is each Wednesday at 10:30 a.m. and each Thursday at 4 p.m. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org.

Friedman Branch Library Teen Photography Contest, for those in grades 6-12, is accepting submissions through June 23. Entry forms available at the library. Photos will be displayed at the library June 27-July 24 and winners will be notified by phone on July 25. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org.

Story Time is every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Harlem Branch Library. Call 706-556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org. Ceramics Class, for ages 14 and up, meets Mondays at 9 a.m. or 6 p.m., Tuesdays at 6 p.m., and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. in the Weeks Ceramics Center. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc. gov.

Kroc Tots Activity Hour, featuring story time, crafts and more, is every Friday at 9 a.m. at the Kroc Center. Free, members; $1, non-members. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Toddler Time, free play for children ages 5 and under, is each Monday and Wednesday from 9:3011:30 a.m. at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Digistar Vir tual Journey shows Saturdays in June at 8 p.m. and More Than Meets the Eye shows Saturdays in June at 9 p.m. at the DuPont Planetarium in Aiken. Digistar shows are $5.50, adults; $4.50, seniors; $3.50, 4K-12the grade students; $1, USC-A students, faculty and staff. General shows are $4.50, adults; $3.50, seniors; $2.50, 4K-12th grade students; and $1, USC-A students, faculty and staff. Call 803-641-3654 or visit http://rpsec.usca.edu/planetarium.

Wacky Wednesday Story Time is each Wednesday at 10 a.m. in the children’s depar tment of Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall. Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com. Story Time is every Wednesday at Appleby Branch Library from 10:05-10:20 a.m. for toddlers 18 months-35 months, and from 10:30-11:15 a.m. for preschoolers ages 3 and up. Parent must stay with child. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org.

Zumbatonic, a Zumba class for kids, meets Wednesdays at 4:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Story Time is every Wednesday at 10:15 a.m. for Pre-K, and either 11 or 11:30 a.m. for preschoolers at Aiken County Public Library. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org.

Preschool Story Time is every Tuesday at Headquar ters Branch Library at 10 a.m. Toddler Story Time is every Wednesday at 10 a.m. Group registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is every Tuesday at 10 a.m. at Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Groups of six or more must pre-register. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is every Tuesday at 10 a.m. at Friedman Branch Library. Groups of six or more must pre-register. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org.

DECLASSIFIED

Story Time is every Wednesday at 10 a.m. at

Story Time is every Wednesday from 10:30-11 a.m. for toddlers and 11:15-11:45 a.m. for preschoolers at Nor th Augusta Branch Library. Call 803-279-5767 or abbe-lib.org.

Seniors

Internet Basics for Seniors is a computers class at the Headquar ters Branch Library on Wednesday, June 27, from 10 a.m.-noon. PINES card and preregistration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Golden Agers meets Mondays from 9 a.m.-noon at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Senior Computer Classes meet weekly at the Kroc Center. Pre-registration required. Call 706-3645762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Medicare and You is a program that meets every Thursday from 9 a.m.-noon at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Games for Seniors at the Weeks Center in Aiken include Rummikub each Thursday from 9 a.m.noon, Mahjong each Thursday from 1-4 p.m., Bridge each Friday from 11:30 a.m.-3 p.m., Bingo each Tuesday at 9 a.m., Pinochle each Tuesday from 10:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m., and Canasta on Tuesdays and Fridays from 11:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Sunday activities at the Kroc Center include an adult Bible class at 9:30 a.m., youth Sunday school at 9:45 a.m., and a worship service at 11 a.m. Free. Call 706364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Volunteers

Augusta Public Library is looking for volunteers. Friends of the library receive a 10 percent discount at The Book Tavern, complimentary desser t at French Market Grille, one free Petersburg Boat Ride, free coffee and discounts at Sundrees Market, and bogo admission at the Woodrow Wilson House. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Hospice Care of America’s Augusta office needs administrative and patient care volunteers. No experience necessary; training will be provided. Call Rich Boland at 706-447-2626 or email rboland@msa-corp.com.

Elsewhere

Silversneakers I is offered Mondays and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. and Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays at 11:15 a.m., while Silversneakers Yogastretch is offered Mondays and Wednesdays at 11:15 a.m. at the Weeks Center in Aiken. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Thursday Nights at the High, a special event at the High Museum of Ar t in Atlanta, offers half price tickets from 4-8 p.m. each Thursday. A guided tour is offered at 6:30 p.m. Call 404-733-4200 or visit high.org.

Ceramics Class is offered at 9 a.m. on Mondays or Wednesdays and 6 p.m. on Mondays or Tuesdays at the Weeks Center. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Fit 4 Ever is offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken on Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays from 10-11 a.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

If you would like to see your organization’s events listed in our calendar, please email Amy Christian at amy@themetrospirit.com. The deadline for each Thursday’s issue is the previous Friday at noon.

Line Dancing is each Tuesday at the Weeks Center in Aiken at 10 a.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Yoga I and II are offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays from 8:45-9:45 a.m. and on Mondays and Wednesdays from 5:30-6:30 p.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Hobbies

Beginning Genealogy Class is Saturday, June 23, at 2 p.m. at the Headquar ters Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Spiritual

Food, Faith and Fitness, a women’s group, meets each Tuesday at 6 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706-3645762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Morning Manna, a community devotion time, meets Wednesdays at 11 a.m. at the Kroc Center. Free. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

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24 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

$8.95 lb Crab Legs Wed and Sat 1293 Broad St.

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(actual size) 1.5” x 1.9” Tall $40 per week 21JUNE2012

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IN MUSIC Dance? Me?

This will not come as a big shocker, but I’m not what people would call a dancer. I know, I know… you had me pegged as this generation’s Ren McCormack. I would much rather check out a band, stand in one place and enjoy my beverage without getting hit by someone’s pelvis. But when you have guests come into town and they want to dance, you take them to dance. Lucky for me, Soul Bar was packed for ’80’s Night this past Friday. It was especially packed when we showed up at 12:30 a.m. Somehow I was suckered into dancing. Actually, it didn’t take that much convincing after that third shot of Fireball. Some of you may not know this as well, but I’m white, really white. In return, my dancing is white, really white, like Carlton Banks white. I can honestly say we had a blast. And if anything, it’s great for people watching. Back when I used to host over at The Vue, the best part was standing in the DJ booth and watch people dance around like idiots. The only part that was weird about Soul Bar and dancing on stage, which is packed, is the 20 guys who just stand right off of the stage and stare at the girls dancing. They don’t move, they don’t talk, they just stare. I imagine that they are thinking, “If I stare long and hard enough, they will jump off the stage and take their clothes off.” In my experience, that has never happened. Two questions: why do you guys do that, and where can I get dancing lessons? You know what’s worse that hearing Def Leppard? Hearing Tom Cruise singing Def Leppard. It seems that America agreed with me with the theatrical release of the movie “Rock of Ages.” Actually, according to most the critics of the movie, Tom was the only redeeming factor for the movie that managed to bring in only $15 million in its opening weekend. For those of you who do not follow movies, that’s really not good. Hopefully this will put another bullet in the life of musicals. Let’s take a look at new music hitting stores. The Smashing Pumpkins, better known as Billy Corgan’s band that calls themselves The Smashing Pumpkins, released “Oceania.” There is no doubt that Billy Corgan is a damn good musician. The Smashing Pumpkins are one of my favorite bands of all time. When I think of the ’90s grunge scene, the Pumpkins pop in my head way before Nirvana (I’ll be waiting for the hate mail for that comment: matt@themetrospirit.com). The new album is definitely worth checking out. Billy is making music for himself and the hardcore fans now. I guess there is no need to try and do it for the money/popularity when you’ll be cashing checks for “Siamese Dream” for the rest of your life. Susanna Hoffs, lead singer of the Bangles, released a new single this week called “Raining.” I didn’t listen to the song or anything crazy like that, I just wanted to say that she is holding up really well. Do yourself a favor and use the Google machine to remember how hot she is. You can check out the new album from Susanna, “Someday,” which will be released later this year. On the other hand, there are some that aren’t holding up as well, at least physically. Fiona Apple’s new album was released this week (title way too long to insert here) and I have to say, it’s awesome. Across the board, Fiona will always be one of my favorite artists. She’s not aging as well as I had hoped, but honestly, I’d still hit it. Too much? Download the disk, Matt Stone Approved. I received an email about Cameras, Guns, & Radios playing a show with Jesup Dolly this Friday at Rub It In Lounge. What other shows are coming to Augusta? What bands are making statements around the CSRA? Let me know; email matt@themetrospirit.com.

MATTSTONE can be heard weekdays from 2-6 p.m. on 95 Rock. 28 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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Thursday, June 21 Live Music French Market Grille West - Doc Easton Smooth Jazz Joe’s Underground - Tripp Seay Maude Edenfield Park - Savannah River Brass Works Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Live and Local O Lounge - Jazmine Soul Band Red Pepper Cafe - Funk/Fusion Jazz Somewhere in Augusta - Country Line Surrey Tavern - The Joe Taylor Group Travinia’s - Smooth Jazz Wild Wing - Lo Fidelity The Willcox - Classic Jazz

What’s Tonight? Casa Blanca - Thursday Tango Club Argos - Karaoke Cocktails Lounge - Karaoke Coyote’s - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Fox’s Lair - Soup, Suds & Conversations Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Highlander - Butt Naked Trivia The Library - DJ Kris Fisher The Loft - Karaoke The Playground - Open Mic Malibu Jack’s - Sports Trivia with Mike Thomas Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Evans) - Karaoke The Playground - Open Mic with Brandy Shannon’s - Karaoke Sky City - Open Mic Night Soul Bar - Boom Box Dance Party Villa Europa - Karaoke Wooden Barrel - ’80s Night Karaoke

Hookers Surrey Tavern - The Unmentionables Wild Wing - Tony Williams Band

What’s Tonight? Club Argos - Augusta Pride Caberet Cocktails Lounge - Grown-Up Fridays with DJ Cork and Bull Pub - Karaoke Eagle’s Nest - Free Salsa Lessons; Latin Dance Party First Round - DJ Kris Fisher Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Iron Horse Bar & Grill - Karaoke The Library - Foamed Out Friday Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke with Ryan Moseley Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke with Jeff Barnes Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Three J’s Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke Palmetto Tavern - DJ Tim Rebeck’s Hideaway - Open Mic Roadrunner Cafe - Karaoke with Steve Chappel Wheels - Live DJ Wooden Barrel - Karaoke Contest

Cocktails Lounge - Latin Night Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Fox’s Lair - Karaoke Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Loft - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke with Rockin Rob Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Karaoke with Danny Haywood Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke One Hundred Laurens - DJ Kenny Ray Robbie’s - Saturday Night Dance Party Wheels - Live DJ Wooden Barrel - Kamikaze Karaoke

Sunday, June 24 Live Music 5 O’Clock Bistro - Buzz and Candice (brunch) Candlelight Jazz - Courtland Saxon, Preston & Weston The Cotton Patch - Keith Gregory (brunch) Crazy Turk’s - Playback The Band featuring Tutu D’Vyne Patridge Inn - Sunday Evening Jazz w/ the Not Gaddy Jazz Trio Wild Wing - John Kolbeck

Wild Wing - Trivia

Tuesday, June 26 Live Music Appleby Library - Signal Corps Band Fox’s Lair - John Fisher The Highlander - Open Mic Night Wild Wing - Sabo & Dave The Willcox - Piano Jazz

What’s Tonight? Club Argos - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Dart League Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke with Denny Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Trivia The Playground - Truly Twisted Trivia with Big Troy Shannon’s - Karaoke with Mike Johnson Somewhere In Augusta - Big Prize Trivia

Wednesday, June 27 Live Music Imperial Theatre - Robert Earl Keen Joe’s Underground - Sibling String Wild Wing - Jason White

Chick Flix, the best party band in South Carolina, comes to Augusta on Saturday, June 23, to play at Wild Wing. What’ll they be playing? Everything from Katy Perry’s “Hot N Cold” to “Our Lips Are Sealed” by the Go-Gos. Who knows… they may even through in a little Prince, B-52s and Heart in there as well. Call 706-364-9488 or visit wildwingcafe.com.

Friday, June 22 Live Music Augusta Moonlight Music Cruise - Impulse Ride Blue Sky Kitchen - Playback the Band with Tutu D’Vyne Columbia County Amphitheatre - Amateur Series w/ Eli Montgomery, Synkronisity, Dayz to Come Cotton Patch - Old Man Crazy Country Club - Bill Gentry Coyote’s - Josh London The Filling Station - Augusta Pride Kickoff Party w/ She N She The First Round - Granny’s Gin Fox’s Lair - Jerod Gay French Market Grille West - Doc Easton Joe’s Underground - TX Clergy Malibu Jack’s - South Atlantic PI Bar & Grill - Jazz Duo Pizza Joint (Evans) - Summer Jam Music Sessions Sector 7G - Sirens and Sailors, Everyone Dies In Utah, Myka Relokate, Miracle Year, My Brothers Keeper, Off With Crowns, & Only In October Sky City - Prince & The Time Tribute w/ The Klass Band Somewhere In Augusta - Joe Stevenson Stillwater Taproom - Blair Crimmins and The

Saturday, June 23 Live Music The Acoustic Coffeehouse - Open Acoustic Jam Session with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Club Argos - Augusta Pride After Party Cotton Patch - Jam Sandwich Country Club - Holman Autry Coyote’s- Josh London The Filling Station - Augusta Pride After Party Fox’s Lair - R2D1 Joe’s Underground - Dave Firmin Malibu Jack’s - Granny’s Gin P.I. Bar and Grill - Not Gaddy Jazz with Pam Bowman Sky City - Livingroom Legends w/ Camoflague Spaceship & The Hollerers Soul Bar - Dr. Bread Surrey Tavern - Ten Toes Up Wild Wing - Chick Flix

What’s Tonight?

The Willcox - Jazz Jam Session

What’s Tonight? Caribbean Soul - Love Jones Sundays Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke with Mike Swift Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke, Salsa Dancing Shannon’s - Karaoke with Peggy Gardner

Monday, June 25 Live Music Hopelands Gardens - Aiken Brass Shannon’s - Open Mic Night

What’s Tonight? Applebee’s (Evans) - Trivia Club Argos - Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - Trivia with Mike Thomas Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Trivia with Mike Thomas Somewhere In Augusta - Poker Tournaments

What’s Tonight? Club Argos - Santoni’s Satin Dolls Cocktails Lounge - Augusta’s Got Talent Cotton Patch - Trivia and Tunes Coyote’s - Drink N Drown w/ Snow Bunny Bikini Contest Hotel Aiken - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane The Loft - Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - DJ Mike Swift Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke with Rockin’ Rob The Playground - Krazy Karaoke with Big Troy Polo Tavern - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Soul Bar - Nuklear Blast Suntan, Dethrone

Upcoming Ruskin - Joe’s Underground - June 28

Club Argos - Variety Show 21JUNE2012

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The Newsboys Concert - Lady Antebellum Pavilion June 28 Sibling String - Surrey Tavern June 28 Matt Acosta - Wild Wing June 28 Terry & Jordan - Augusta Moonlight Music Cruise June 29 John Kolbeck - Cotton Patch June 29 John Karl - Country Club June 29 Roger Enevoldsen - Fox’s Lair June 29 Fresh Music Festival w/ Keith Sweat, Doug E. Fresh, Guy, SWV, K-Ci, & JoJo- James Brown Arena June 29 The Ramblin’ Fevers, The Shoal Creek Stranglers, The Lilies and Sparrows - Sky City June 29 Connor Pledger - Somewhere in Augusta June 29 Granny’s Gin - Laura’s Backyard Tavern June 29 The Threads - The First Round June 29 Tony Williams and the Blues Express - Surrey Tavern June 29 Jeremy Graham Band - Coyote’s June 30 Fried Goat - Somewhere in Augusta June 30 Siimplified - Surrey Tavern June 30 Crucial Dudes, Fera, Panic Manor, Dead End Sons, DreamEater, Varuna - Sector 7G July 4 John Berret’s LaRoxes - 1102 July 6 Those Darlins, Baby Baby - Sky City July 7 The Tams, Swingin Medallions & Drifters - Lady Antebellum Pavillion July 13 Betsy Franck - Surrey Tavern July 12 Concrete Jumpsuit - Surrey Tavern - July 19 Hot Rod Walt and the Psycho-DeVilles - The Loft July 20 Cosmic Charlie (Grateful Dead Tribute) - Surrey Tavern July 20 Machine Funk (Widespread Tribute) - Surrey Tavern - July 27-28 The Southern Meltdown Band - Laura’s Backyard Tavern June 29 John Berret’s LaRoxes - Iron Horse Bar and Grill July 22 John Berret’s LaRoxes - 1102 July 27 Cameras, Guns & Radios - The First Round August 3

Elsewhere Robert Earl Keen - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta June 21 Lady Antebellum - Convention Center at Gwinnett Center, Duluth June 22 Krisin Chenoweth - Cobb Energy Performing Arts Centre, Atlanta June 22 Concerts in the Garden: Vince Gill - Atlanta Botanical Garden, Atlanta June 22 Norah Jones - Fox Theatre, Atlanta June 23 Def Leppard, Poison - Aaron’s Amphitheatre at Lakewood, Atlanta June 29 Jill Soctt’s Summer Block Party w/ Kem and DJ Jazzy Jeff - Chastain Park, Atlanta June 30 Sarah McLachlan - Chastain Park, Atlanta July 3 Flo Rida - Convention Center at Gwinnett Center, Duluth July 5 Ringo Starr and His All Starr Band - Fox Theatre, Atlanta July 6 Collective Soul - Tabernacle, Atlanta July 7 Summerland: Everclear, Sugar Ray, Gin Blossoms, 30 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Lit, Marcy Playground - Chastain Park, Atlanta July 13 Mayhem Festival w/ Anthrax, Motorhead, Slayer, Slipknot, High on Fire, As I Lay Dying, the Devil Wears Prada and more - Aaron’s Amphitheatre at Lakewood, Atlanta July 14 Perpetual Groove - Georgia Theatre, Athens July 14 Sleigh Bells, Jel - Center Stage, Atlanta July 16 Neko Case, Kelly Hogan - Atlanta Botanical Garden July 20 B-52s - Fox Theatre, Atlanta July 21 Nicki Minaj - Fox Theatre, Atlanta July 22 KISS, Motley Crue - Aaron’s Amphitheatre at Lakewood, Atlanta July 24 Chicago, Doobie Brothers - Chastain Park, Atlanta July 24 Joe Cocker, Huey Lewis and the News - Chastain Park, Atlanta July 25 Aerosmith, Cheap Trick - Philips Arena, Atlanta July 26 Alison Krauss, Union Station - Classic Center, Athens July 27 Fresh Music Festival w/ Keith Sweat, K-Ci, Jo-Jo Savannah Civic Center, Savannah July 27 Seal, Macy Gray - Chastain Park, Atlanta July 28 Yes - Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre, Alpharetta July 31 Pitbull - Chastain Park, Atlanta July 31 Little Feat - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta August 3 Kelly Clarkson, The Fray - Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre, Atlanta August 8 Merle Haggard, Chris Janson - Atlanta Botanical Garden August 10 Willie Nelson - Classic Center, Athens August 10 George Jones - Johnny Mercer Theatre, Savannah August 17 Duran Duran - Chastain Park, Atlanta August 19 The Brian Jonestown Massacre - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta August 20 Ted Nugent - Center Stage, Atlanta August 22 Matisyahu, The Dirty Heads - Masquerade, Atlanta August 23 Sugarland - Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre, Atlanta August 23 Drive-By Truckers - Georgia Theatre, Athens August 23 My Morning Jacket - Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre, Atlanta August 24 Foreigner, Night Ranger - Chastain Park, Atlanta August 31

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

“Dear Rob: In one of your recent horoscopes, you implied that I should consider the possibility of asking for more than I’ve ever asked for before. I want to thank you! It helped me start working up the courage to burst out of my protective and imprisoning little shell. Today I gave myself permission to learn the unknowable, figure out the inscrutable and dream the inconceivable. — Crazy Crab.” Dear Crazy: You’re leading the way for your fellow Cancerians. The process you just described is exactly what I advise them to try in the coming weeks.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

Picture yourself moving toward a building you haven’t seen before. What type of path are you on? Once you arrive at the front door, locate the key. Is it under a mat, in your pocket or somewhere else? What does the key look like? Next, open the door and go inside to explore. Where have you arrived? See everything in detail. This is a test that has no right or wrong answers, similar to what your life is actually bringing you right now. The building you’ve envisioned represents the next phase of your destiny. The path symbolizes how you get here. The key is the capacity or knowledge you will need.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

My first poetry teacher suggested that it was my job as a poet to learn the names of things in the natural world. She said I should be able to identify at least 25 species of trees, 25 flowers, 25 herbs, 25 birds and eight clouds. I have unfortunately fallen short in living up to that very modest goal, and I’ve always felt guilty about it. But it’s never too late to begin, right? Follow my lead. Is there any soul work that you have been neglecting? Is there any part of your life’s mission that you have skipped over? Now would be an excellent time to catch up.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Here’s my nomination for one of the Ten Biggest Problems in the World: our refusal to control the pictures and thoughts that pop into our minds. For example, when a fearful image worms its way into the space behind my eyes, I sometimes let it stimulate a surge of negative emotions rather than just banish it or question whether it’s true. In the weeks ahead you’ll have more power than usual to modulate your stream of consciousness. Have you ever seen the bumper sticker that says, “Don’t believe everything you think”? Make that your mantra.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

In the hands of a skilled practitioner, astrology can help you determine the most favorable days to start a new project, heat up your romantic possibilities or get a tattoo of a ninja mermaid. Success is of course still quite feasible at other times, but you might find most grace and ease if you align yourself with the cosmic flow. Let’s consider, for example, the issue of you taking a vacation. If you do it between now and July 23, the experiences you have will free your ass, and — hallelujah! — your mind will then gratefully follow. If you schedule your getaway for another time, you could still free your ass, but may have to toil more intensely to get your mind to join the fun.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

What is your most hateable and loveable obsession? The compulsion that sometimes sabotages you and sometimes inspires you? The longing that can either fool you or make you smarter? Whatever it is, I suspect it’s beginning a transformation. Is there anything you can do to ensure that the changes it undergoes will lead you

away from the hateable consequences and closer to the loveable stuff? For starters, do a ritual — yes, an actual ceremony — in which you affirm your intention that your obsession will forever after serve your highest good and brightest integrity.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

As someone who thrives on simple organic food and doesn’t enjoy shopping, I would not normally have lunch at a hot dog stand in a suburban mall. But that’s what I did today. Nor do I customarily read books by writers whose philosophy repels me, and yet recently I have found myself skimming through Ayn Rand’s “The Virtue of Selfishness.” I’ve been enjoying these acts of rebellion. Enjoy similar insurrections in the coming week. Rise up and overthrow your attachment to boring familiarity.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

The “I Ching” speaks of “catching things before they exit the gate of change.” That’s what happens when a martial artist anticipates an assailant’s movement before it happens, or when a healer corrects an imbalance in someone’s body before it becomes a full-blown symptom or illness. It’s a favorable time to catch potential disturbances prior to the time they exit the gate of change. If you’re alert for pre-beginnings, you should be able to neutralize or transform brewing problems so they never become problems.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

Neurophysiologists say that singing really loudly can flush away metabolic waste from your cerebrum. I say that singing really loudly can help purge your soul of any tendency it might have to ignore its deepest promptings. Do some really loud singing. Washing the dirt and debris out of your brain will do wonders for your mental hygiene. And your soul could use a boost as it ramps up its wild power to pursue its most important dreams.

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

Swans, geese and ducks molt all their flight feathers at once, which means they may be unable to fly for several weeks afterwards. We humans don’t do anything like that in a literal way, but we have a psychological analog: times when we shed outworn self-images. I suspect you’re coming up on such a transition. While you’re going through it, you may want to lie low. Anything resembling flight — launching new ventures, making big decisions, embarking on great adventures — should probably be postponed until the metamorphosis is complete and your feathers grow back.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

In 2011 car traffic began flowing across Jiaozhou Bay Bridge, a newly completed span that joins the city of Qingdao with the Huangdao District in China. This prodigious feat of engineering is 26.4 miles long. Picture it whenever you need a boost as you work to connect previously unlinked elements in your life. It may help inspire you to master the gritty details that’ll lead to your own monumental accomplishment.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

An apple starts growing on its tree in the spring. By early summer, it may be full size and as red as it will ever be. To the naked eye, it appears ready to eat. But it’s not. If you pluck it and bite into it, the taste probably won’t appeal to you. For an apple to achieve its potential, it has to stay on the tree until nature has finished ripening it. Keep that lesson in mind as you deal with the urge to harvest something before it has reached its prime.

ROBBREZSNY FREEWILLASTROLOGY@FREEWILLASTROLOGY.COM 21JUNE2012

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Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Melissa Scott, Shelby Paige and Blaze Walker at the Amateur Series at the Columbia County Amphitheatre.

SIGHTINGS

Lisa Hall, Morris Drake and Julie Gonya at the Loft.

Kelly Bradford, Ashley Ward and Ashley Rucker at Bar on Broad.

SIGHTINGS

Jessica Hirsch, contestant Nikki B. and Cindy Bigger at the Amateur Series at the Columbia County Amphitheatre.

Erin Fall, best-selling author Carl Hiaasen and Kathy Hebert at the Books Alive Festival at the Evans Towne Center Park.

SIGHTINGS

Evan Luda, Jessica Long, Rebecca White and Bill King at the Laser Light Spectacular at Evans Towne Center Park.

21JUNE2012

Stephanie Reese, Brandy Saal and Katie McKellar at Midtown Lounge.

Jenna Giello, Miss Augusta Rugby ’12 Brittany Murray and Katie Groh at the Miss Augusta Rugby Bikini Contest at The County Club.

Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Jason Torres, Claudia Perez, Lexi Bollinger and Cristy Reyes at the Miss Augusta Rugby Bikini Contest at The County Club.

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THE

BOX TOPS

Rock of ages? Looks more like it might be flop of ages.

EIGHT

RANK

TITLE

WEEKEND GROSS

TOTAL GROSS

WEEK #

LAST WEEK

MADAGASCAR 3

$34,055,474

$119,006,006

PROMETHEUS

$20,712,174

$89,370,301

ROCK OF AGES

$14,437,269

THAT’S MY BOY

$13,453,714

SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN

$13,265,635

$122,062,670

“That’s My Boy”

SAMEIFLING

One Adam Sandler is more than enough, Samberg The first few minutes of “That’s My Boy,” the latest middle-finger to the world from Adam Sandler, do not contain Sandler and are actually pretty funny. An adolescent by the name of Donny Berger, clutching a pair of Van Halen tickets, screws up the nerve to proposition his teacher, the bombshellicious Mrs. McGarricle. That leads to detention, but detention leads to a hot-for-teacher affair of pure, blissful corruption that is exposed, of course, when a curtain rises at a school assembly to find Donny humping the bejeezus out of Mrs. McGarricle on a piano. While she gets pregnant and a 30-year prison term for her troubles, the media maelstrom propels Donny to bad-boy teen-idol fame unprecedented for a single father who can’t drive. We fast-forward to present-day Donny, played with alternate doses of obnoxiousness and borderline pathos by Sandler. He hasn’t paid 20 years of taxes and needs to scrounge up a slab of cash over a weekend to avoid prison. His last hope is to reach out to his estranged but highly successful son, the former Han Solo Berger, played by recent “Saturday Night Live” émigré Andy Samberg. The son, resentful for his crappy childhood, now goes by the assumed name Todd and tells everyone his folks died in an explosion years ago. But as it happens, he’s getting married to a shrill WASP during the very weekend his father is in gold-digging mode, and all at the lavish beachside estate of the son’s plutocratic boss (Tony Orlando). When Donny crashes the party, here come hijinks! That’s probably about as far as Sandler bothered to formulate this comedic open sewer when he pitched it, and why think ahead any further? The tatters of a plot are just an excuse for Sandler to crack beer after beer after beer (always mugging the labels for the camera; Sandler’s movies all double as productplacement infomercials) and climb into hot tubs with bikini babes and make an array of scatological jokes and on and on. He leaves no orifice unplumbed, no fluid unsplattered. Most of the humor seems aimed at blowing a 14-year-old’s mind that someone could get away with putting x into a movie. Lots of drinking, fighting, masturbating, urinating, incest, profanity, strip-clubbing and general

horndoggery. Vanilla Ice shows up to pee on himself. Once in a while, you chuckle, and there is, believe it or not, some genuine heart in the reconciliation of father and son. But most of what might’ve been considered jokes are neither funny nor very jokey. When you leave the theater, you look at the floor, hoping no one recognizes you for at least a 10-block radius. If this is Samberg’s intended launchpad into name-above-the-title features, we should all pray for an epiphany to strike him and for him to retreat to Trappist monastery. The past 30 years of Hollywood comedies is already greased with the remains of former “SNL” talents, and Samberg is funny enough in other media. Like Sandler’s before him, Samberg’s humor veers toward the musical and toward the endearingly ridiculous, and it can be done with originality — see his Lonely Island music video shorts. He needn’t stoop to earning zillions of dollars this way. Samberg plays Todd as a compliant wimp with a reserve of repressed anger; as in so many comedies geared toward teenaged boys who spend their lives taking orders from mothers and teachers, he’s bossed around by his bride-tobe and finally gets sick of taking it. But of course he does — this is a Sandler flick, in which the image of rebellion and independence falls precisely in line with how a 10th-grader imagines he wants to live one day, drinking cheap American lager and staring at cleavage. Kids, you’re being had. And for Samberg, there’s still time not to become the next Adam Sandler. One is more than enough.

THE8ERS Movie times are subject to change.

The Big Mo

Gates open at 7 p.m.; shows begin at 8:30 p.m. (approximately)

June 22-23 Field 1: Brave (PG) and The Avengers (PG13); Field 2: Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted (PG) and Rock of Ages (PG-13); Field 3: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (R) and Snow White and The Huntsman (PG-13).

Masters 7 Cinemas

June 22-23 Chernobyl Diaries (R) 12:45, 2:50, 5, 7:45, 10; The Raven (R) 1:45, 4:45, 7:15, 9:40; The Lucky One (PG-13) 12:45, 3, 5:15, 7:30,

32 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

9:50; 9:40; 5:30, 4:15, 9:30;

Think Like a Man (PG-13) 1:15, 4, 7, The Cabin in the Woods (R) 1, 3:10, 7:45, 10; Mirror Mirror (PG) 1:30, 6:45, 9:30; 21 Jump Street (R) 6:45, Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax (PG) 1:45, 4:30

Evans Cinemas

June 22-23 Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (R) 12:05, 2:30, 5, 6:50, 7:30, 10:05; Brave (PG) noon, 12:40, 1:30, 2:20, 3, 4, 4:40, 5:20, 6:30, 7, 7:40, 8:50, 9:20, 10; Seeking a Friend for the End of the World (R) 12:20, 2:50, 5:10, 7:45, 10:05; Rock of Ages (PG-13) 1:20, 4:15, 7:10, 9:55; That’s My Boy (R) 1:50, 4:35, 7:20, 10:05; Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted (PG) noon, 12:40, 2:10, 3,

4:25, 5:20, 6:45, 7:35, 9, 9:50; Prometheus (R) 1:10, 4:10, 7:05, 9:55; Snow White and the Huntsman (PG-13) 12:50, 3:40, 6:40, 9:35; Men in Black III (PG-13) 12:05, 2:35, 5:05, 7:35, 10:05; Battleship (PG-13) 1, 3:50, 9:40; The Avengers (PG-13) 1:40, 4:50, 8

Regal Exchange 20

June 22-23 Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (R) 11:25, 11:45, 1:55, 2:15, 4:35, 4:55, 7:15, 7:35, 8:05, 9:45, 10:05, 10:30, 12:15, 12:35, 12:55; Brave (PG) 10:20, 11:20, 11:40, 12:45, 1:50, 2:10, 3:10, 4:30, 4:50, 5:35, 7:10, 7:30, 8, 9:40, 10, 10:30, 12:10, 12:30; Seeking a Friend for the End of the World (R) 11:30, 2,

4:35, 7:15, 9:50, 12:20; Rock of Ages (PG13) 11:25, 11:45, 2:05, 2:30, 4:50, 5:15, 7:30, 8, 10:10, 10:45, 12:50; That’s My Boy (R) 11:20, 1:35, 2, 4:25, 4:40, 7:05, 7:20, 9:45, 10:05, 12:25, 12:45; Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted (PG) 10:30, 11:30, 12:35, 1:05, 1:55, 2:55, 3:25, 4:15, 5:15, 5:45, 7:10, 7:45, 9:25, 10:05, 11:45, 12:25; Prometheus (R) 10:40, 1, 1:40, 4, 4:40, 7, 7:40, 10, 10:40, 12:45; Snow White and the Huntsman (PG-13) 10:45, 1:45, 4:50, 7:50, 10:50; Men in Black III (PG-13) 10:45, 11:45, 1:20, 2:15, 4, 5:15, 6:50, 7:50, 9:25, 10:25; The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (PG-13) 11:10, 2, 4:45, 7:35, 10:25 The Avengers (PG-13) 10:30, 1:35, 4:40, 7:45, 10:50

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OPENING FRIDAY, JUNE 22

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FAMILY

“Brave,” rated PG, starring Kelly Macdonald, Billy Connolly, Emma Thompson. Proving once again that ginger Disney princesses are the best comes Princess Merida, a crazy haired Scottish lass who screws up then must make things right with the help of her bow and arrow. And it doesn’t hurt that Billy Connolly, and lovely brogue, voices Merida’s father, King Fergus.

ACTION

“Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter,” rated R, starring Benjamin Walker, Rufus Sewell, Dominic Cooper. Novelist Seth Grahame-Smith, who also penned “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies,” wrote the screenplay for this adaptation of his book. The story, about Honest Abe’s vendetta against vampires ever since one killed his mother, reveals what really caused America’s Civil War and how the undead shaped our nation. Not for the gullible, this one is also not for the faint of heart. Old Abe, it seems, had a particularly vicious streak.

COMEDY

“Seeking a Friend for the End of the World,” rated R, starring Steve Carell, Keira Knightley. An asteroid is about to hit the earth and, in the face of disaster, Steve Carell’s wife leaves him. So he, of course, decides to right past wrongs before imminent death with a road trip to find his high school sweetheart. Since he’s accompanied by Keira Knightly, we can only assume that they’ll end up together and the world won’t actually end. But, hey; we’ll forgive clichés because the movie features William Petersen in his first role post-“CSI”… as a trucker.

It’s rare — downright unheard of, as a matter of fact — for a movie to be better than the book on which it is based. That’s especially true when the writer is Stephen King (early years, of course) and the filmmakers change the ending completely. But, then again, not every author has the incredible luck of garnering the interest of director Stanley Kubrick. What resulted was one of the best, and most frightening, films in modern moviemaking. The story is simple: a family of three moves to into a hotel to act as caretakers for the winter while it is closed due to snowy conditions. The father, who already has a violent streak and alcoholic tendencies, dissolves into madness as cabin fever sets in. And while the story is compelling (the book will make you want to star t over as soon as you finish the last page), it is Kubrick’s touches that make the movie such a masterpiece. From the sounds son Danny’s big wheel makes as he rides from carpet to floor and back again to the balls-out performance Kubrick coaxes from Jack Nicholson (okay, he probably didn’t need much coaxing), this is a hell of a ride from star t to finish. And we love the final two creepy scenes so much that we’ll forgive the late director for casting Shelley Duvall as Jack Torrance’s wife Wendy. Honestly, we were kind of hoping Jack would dispatch his annoying wife (the more painfully, the better) before meeting his fate, but no movie is perfect.

21JUNE2012

WERECOMMEND

“The Shining”

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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VALERIEEMERICK

Pride and Joy Augusta Pride 2012 changes and expands format in its third year

Augusta Pride kicks off its third annual festival tonight with the Pride President’s Soiree at the Marion Hatcher Center in downtown Augusta. Didn’t get your invitation or VIP pass yet? Don’t worry — this year the festival has expanded to include many events over the course of the weekend so there will be plenty of chances to participate. “The parade and festival will mostly stay the same,” explains this year’s Augusta Pride President, Travis Jenkins, “but we have expanded on events around Pride. We’ve got events Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, so the festival won’t be much of a change, but we’ve got a much larger event lineup surrounding the festival.” In addition to the expanded event schedule, “We also got a grant from the Augusta Convention and Visitors Bureau for out of city advertising,” says Jenkins, “so we’ve promoted ourselves a lot outside of town through this grant... we’re hoping to expand on the festival… which hopefully will also increase Augusta’s economic impact, because it will be more non-locals booking hotel rooms and flights, and going out to eat… stuff like that.” He later adds, “This will be the first time that we’ve had major out of city 34 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

advertising. We’re interested to see the turnout — so one other thing we’re doing this year is we’re going to have a ‘Get Counted’ booth where we’ll be collecting zip codes just to see how far away people have traveled to be here… to see the impact. So as incentive, we’ll be holding several raffles throughout the day for everyone who stops by to get counted. We’ll be doing $100 raffles, probably $100 Visa gift cards. So instead of winning something you might not want, you’ll be winning something you can use to go out and spend on what you do want — and hopefully it will get spent here on some of our sponsors and advertisers.” The parade and festival will take place Saturday, starting at 10 a.m. “We are expecting the parade to grow this year,” says Jenkins. “We kind of noticed the first year that everyone came down to watch, even though it wasn’t that long. The second year, everyone got so excited that they wanted to be in the parade, so it felt like we had almost more people in the parade than we did spectators. So this year, we hope to get more out-of-town visitors and we’re hoping to balance a little bit better.” 21JUNE2012

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The festival will follow the parade and will be held in the Common as in past years, but the entertainment will be a little different this year, according to Jenkins. â&#x20AC;&#x153;One thing weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re doing different this year is weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve changed the headliners â&#x20AC;&#x201D; the first two years we went with more â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;diva-esqueâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; kind of headliners, more well renowned performers. This year weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re trying to stay close to the LGBT community and weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got some more up and coming gay artists. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got Tom Goss coming in from DC, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got Josh Zuckerman from New York and, of course, our own local band from right here in Augusta, She N She, will be headlining the show. So itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a little different this year, more LGBT entertainment, and then of course weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll have a lot more local entertainment playing throughout the day as well.â&#x20AC;?

ITâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ALL ABOUT THE MUSIC.

Augusta Pride 2012

F LRDI X K C I C H AY T H E 2 3 S AT U R

Sunday, June 24 Augusta Pride Wrap-Up Pool Party | Parliament Resort | 10 a.m.

THIS WEEK THURS 6.21 - LO FIDELITY FRIDAY 6.22 TONY WILLIAMS BAND SAT 6.23 - CHICK FLIX SUN 6.24 - JOHN KOLBECK 19K@AF?LGF ,< c 1#& www. wi l d wi n gcaf e. com 21JUNE2012

AUGUSTAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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SPONSOR THE

Metro Spiritâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pet Page! amber@themetrospirit.com

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commended for all

Special Events

for that animal. Surely you realize this. You

Augusta Humane Society offers obedience classes twice each

need to realize that if you really want to

if there are strays in with local rescues to at least get them

Ongoing Adoption Events:

Augusta Animal

PetSmart

PETCO

crisis will continue to get worse. The are lost from their family and still others that are surrendered due to financial

You can go there to

of animals at a county shelter that has no truly humane society. Once we decide to

because they cannot hold them indefinitely. Try to imagine seeing these cats and dogs

shelter management tool. No Kill starts as an act of will. with a local focus. There are solutions and way to be a hero. humanely. It is well within our reach.

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21JUNE2012

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ON THE BALL

Not So Forbidden Fruit Newly released add-on could provide extra teaching tool for area coaches

When watching an NFL game on TV these days, it’s incredible how far we’ve come with the quantity and quality of the cameras that are available for the league. But for as long as anyone can remember, the All-22 camera angle, or better known as the “coach’s film” angle that shows all 22 players on the field, has never been fully available to the public. This particular shot has been available on certain views during the telecast, and to the NFL teams for years, but not the public. Reasons for not releasing it have been laughable from a fan’s perspective, and worrisome from the team’s perspective. In a Wall Street Journal piece, former Texans General Manager and current CBS analyst Charlie Casserly voiced his opinion on how he thought releasing the footage would do nothing more than make the jobs harder for all those involved. “I was concerned about misinformation being spread about players and coaches and their ability to do their job,” he said. “It becomes a distraction that you have to deal with.” This second guessing and fan outrage that he alludes to is already widespread if you just turn on sports radio. How this benefits local coaches is in how they can finally see both teams in their entirety on the field. NFL quality blocking schemes, elaborate blitzes and

complex receiver routes are all on full display without a player running out of the camera shot and having every fan wondering just how exactly that receiver got so open. This footage can help supplement the high school coaches on what they already do or don’t teach to their own teams, and is another way to get ideas out in the open and have everyone put their fingerprints on them and see what we come up with. The service costs $70, and is offered as an add-on to the NFL’s Game Rewind feature available on nfl.com. There you can access the All-22 angle for every team after the games air on Sunday.

MATTLANE is host of The Weekend Rundown which airs from 10 a.m.-noon Saturdays on News-Talk-Sports 1630 AM. He can be reached at mattlane28@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter @Mattlane28.

make a real connection Call Livelinks. The hottest place to meet the coolest people.

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21JUNE2012

Local Numbers: 1.800.926.6000 Ahora en Español 18+ www.livelinks.com AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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WHINE

LINE

Ooowwwww!!! All that indelicate language between that young hussy, the lustful lawyer and his young oversexed wife! I wonder which soap opera will base its next story on this? Austin Rhodes is one fine looking man! He gets better looking with each year. I wish he was single because he could rock my world and my brown sugar is might sweet! Can someone explain to me how and why Adam Sandler is allowed to be in movies - please?

WHINELINE@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM

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Have something you want to get off your chest? Send your whines to whineline@themetrospirit. com. If you do so by noon on Friday, you might just see it in the next Thursday’s issue. Oh, and whines may be edited for content but will pretty much be printed exactly as you type them.

Google Zeitgeist 2011 Yeah, yeah, yeah… it’s already halfway through 2012, but if you want a shocker then head to googlezeitgeist.com/en and see what really mattered to Google searchers last year. Was it the 10-year anniversary of 9/11 or the death (finally!) of Osama bin Laden? Maybe the Penn State sex scandal? Occupy Wall Street? All the Republican candidates jockeying for the GOP nomination in 2012? You would think so, wouldn’t you? Well, you’d be wrong. The only impor tant news stories that made the top 10 in 2011 Google searches were the Japanese ear thquakes and resulting disaster at the Fukushima nuclear plant (No. 8) and Casey Anthony (No. 4). The rest are a shocking and, some would say, sad commentary on what holds our attention: Apple had three entries, Adele’s in there, a videogame and a “Jackass” cracked it, and you will never, ever, guess what was No. 1.

i’m assuming someone down at the ms has a journalism degree and i would assume in order to get that degree this person would have had to pass some classes, one of those classes being how to edit a paper. that being said, could this particular person please take the time to edit the whine line contributions? apparently most who write in do not know how to construct a sentence properly, much less use the spell/grammar/word check option on their expensive high-tech gadgets to which they are so inordinately attached. please do these nimwads a favor and edit their comments so they make some sort of sense to the reader and do not make the whole csra look any more ignorant than it already is. thank you. Now that the Joe Neal jr circus is over and his legal career in Augusta is likely ruined, perhaps he can get a job as a spokesman for mens bras because he has some serious man boobs if that Metro Spirit cover photo is accurate.

You haven't been tested for hepatitis C?

You're an idiot!

- Mikayla H., Age 11

Now that I have your attention... A five minute test could save your life, so what's stopping you?

WERECOMMEND

Love your new website but I notice that you do not always update the whineline. You still have the old one online. They other things are updated except the whine line. Can you please update the whine line? To the person who complained about not being able to see the stage at the L-A Amphitheater, I have a solution. Arrive earlier. Sit closer. A heartfelt thanks to Joe Neal and ALL involved with their racy endeavors. That kind of entertainment is awesome!!! And as for the victim, to borrow from Lewis Grizzard, if you’re 18 you are old enough to know better. The District 1 candidate you call a witch has protested the wars in Iraq & Afghanistan, protested the poor treatment of our veterans and planted a thriving community garden for all to enjoy. If she is a witch, then I say dump the current self-aggrandizing commissioners and elect more witches! Can Augusta get any more “white trash”? I just read in today’s paper about a man getting stabbed by his roommate because he told him he hadstinky feet. Then you have the near nightly redneck brawls downtown.I’m beginning to think Augusta is becoming one big Jerry SpringerShow. Matt Aitken might as well hang it up. I dont see any chance of him getting re-elected, not the way the new district 1 looks. Lori Davisis the only hope to make sure that we don’t get someone worse thanMarion Williams back on the commission. Lori has enough cross-overappeal to win in a majority black district. Aitken has turned too manypeople off with his poor voting record. You may talk crap about Brad Owens but when no one was there for me he was. He’s a great man let us not forget. Considering how much Billy Morris got from Augusta taxpayers with the TEE Center and parking decks, just imagine what all he and his pal Paul Simon could get if they had their handpicked congressman in Washington, DC. It is clear who Billy wants. For all you people who are against OBAMA CARE people are still getting sick and going to the emergency room and going into the hospital. The average hospital stay is $50,000. WHO PAY? The tax payers. If everyone had insurance at least they would have a chance to resolve this debt.

If a kid knows how important it is to get tested for hepatitis C, then why do most of us pretend it doesn't exist? Hepatitis C is a leading killer of adults ages 47 to 67 in America, and is frequently undiagnosed. But, it is curable! Take the test! Don't be an idiot!

Every time The Chronicle prints one of their hatchet jobs on Wright McCleod it should include a disclosure that their publisher, Bill Morris, gave $2,500 to the campaign of Rick Allen. Oh and by the way, didn’t Allen’s construction firm get the contract to build Billy’s TEE Center?

Call us today. Get tested. Know.

I noticed a few rants about Brad Owens in the last whine line. If he is truly thinking about trying to inject himself back into Augusta politics people should be aware that Brad is nothing but a big talker. He told a bunch of fish tales when he was on the DDA and that’s why he got kicked off. Even his allies on the commission turned against him because they could see through his BS. So now he has a case of sour grapes? Augusta is better of without his vitriol.

706-724-2445

The biggest welfare recipients in Augusta are Billy Morris and Paul Simon.

www M!" #$% ssoc!!&!s co! 38 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

21JUNE2012