Metro Spirit 06.28.2012 by Metro Spirit

photography: jwhite AmyChristian|production director amy@themetrospirit.com

JoeWhite|publisher-sales manager joe@themetrospirit.com

GabrielVega|lead designer gabe@themetrospirit.com

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EricJohnson|writer eric@themetrospirit.com

AmberKuhn|account executive amber@themetrospirit.com

MichaelJohnson|sightings

JohnnyBeckworth|circulation manager johnny@themetrospirit.com

Metro Spirit is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks a year. Editorial coverage includes local issues and news, arts, entertainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. Visit us at metrospirit.com.ÂŠ 15 House, LLC. Owner/Publisher: Joe White. Legal: Phillip Scott Hibbard. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. One copy per person, please.

INSIDER JENNY IS WRIGHT AUSTIN RHODES NY TIMES CROSSWORD RUFFINâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; IT

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CONTENTS

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INSIDER@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM Insider is an anonymous, opinion-based examination of the hidden details of Augusta politics and personalities.

SIDER

Jumbo Zoning Though the circus has definitely not left town — it’s an election year, remember… it won’t be leaving town until November — there’s at least one elephant around these parts who has apparently overstayed his welcome. It seems Columbia County has received a couple of complaints about Barry Fleming’s elephant. The elephant — it’s a really big elephant — who once campaigned for 41, has been popping up quite a bit in the Harlem and Grovetown area, not to mention in the middle of the Government Complex parking lot during the June meet and greet. Too big and slow to keep up on foot, it spends its days on the back of a trailer, pulled around District 121 by an accommodating driver. And that’s the rub. When it comes to signs — at least in the eyes of county officials — Fleming’s political pachyderm is no different than that old Junk in a Box trailer you see along the side of the road around Halali Farm Road. It’s illegal. Though there really aren’t any restrictions concerning political signs, portable signs are straight-up prohibited. Eagle-eyed zoning warriors are now claiming the elephant is in violation of zoning laws in the neighboring towns as well. Adding to the fun is the fact that Fleming is a well-known city attorney who also happened to serve on the commission. We’ll see how Fleming responds to the letter drafted by the county informing him of the code infringement, but Republicans aren’t typically fond of the whole amnesty thing, so it’ll be interesting to see where the big guy ends up.

KROC Center Notice Entries are no longer being accepted for the Kroc Center’s Summer Camp Contest, publicized in the June 21 issue of the Metro Spirit.

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Tonight at The Country Club. Don’t miss it!

Joe Neal Jr. started serving his 100 hours of community service right where he was ordered to do it — the wastewater treatment plant. Sure, it the Reed Creek Wastewater Treatment Plant and not the wastewater treatment plant everyone wanted it to be — you know, the big one down by the airport — but contrary to what they’d have you believe, Columbia County’s stuff stinks, too, and even if he was washing trucks instead of shoveling the poo, he was within whiffing distance of the bubbling, gurgling goop. More serious, however, was the fact that U.S. District Court Judges Randal Hall and Dudley Bowen wrote an order basically barring Neal, who of course was accused of raping his teenaged babysitter and pled guilty to the three misdemeanors that sent him to the wastewater treatment plant, from appearing before the court during his probationary period. Legal insiders are praising the order, saying that membership in the federal bar and the ability to practice before the federal court is a privilege, not a right. Hall and Bowen may suffer some social awkwardness because of it, they say, but they acted in the best interest of the bar, the court and, most importantly, the best interest of the litigants before the court.

28JUNE2012

After I read the article that was published in the Metro Spirit last December that spoke about Coptic Christians, their persecution in Egypt and the fear some of them felt regarding the local Islamic Center, I discussed the article with my family members and some friends, who agreed with some of the people quoted in the story that the center is part of terrorism or at least radicalism. I took the courageous step of visiting the mosque in Augusta. It was a very warming visit, especially after I met Dr. Fadel and learned that he was the physician who helped in delivering my son. I visited the center several times until Friday, June 8 2012, when I was seriously shocked to hear a young African Imam with an accent delivering a speech attacking the Americans, saying “We should defy them before they defy us,” repeating that several times and asking the congregation to hate this nation, to terrorize them before they terrorize us. I left with a deep frustration, and my advice to this young man is to preach in Darfur and not here, because this nation is not terrorizing anyone. Instead, our troops are sacrificing their lives due to the official request from the leaders and the people of those countries to help them establishing democracy or to respond to the group that came and attacked this peaceful land in 9-11. What I heard is a fact and can’t be changed because it was taped on my cell phone and brought back to let others hear. It was my intention to correct their thoughts, but it ended up that I’m the one that should open my eyes and see the truth.

THUMBS

So it Begins…

Letter to the Metro Spirit

Mark Flintz Augusta

Joe Neal Jr. begins his community service work at the sewage treatment plant… wearing overalls.

down

The daily’s solution to those making offensive comments about Augusta Pride 2012 pictures posted to their Facebook page? Take down all the pictures. Because that makes much more sense that deleting the offending comments.

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JENNY IS WRIGHT

After This Summer, I’m Going to Need a Vacation Obviously, it’s summer. The rising heat is a clear indicator. It’s supposed to hit 100 this week. The days are long, Facebook is over-filled with vacation pictures and the kids are out of school. I’ve said it before: I love when my kids are home. School feels like such a hassle sometimes, and after-school activities will drive even Mother Teresa to an insane asylum. They’re just so around. They’re underfoot while I cook dinner. They follow me in to the bathroom. They’re with me at the grocery store. I’ve even taken them to work. Let me put a disclaimer out there for anyone who has anything negative or argumentative to say: I love my kids. I wouldn’t abuse my kids. I’m thankful that I have my kids. They’re mostly good kids, and they really are best friends. I take care of them, even feeding them regularly. I’ve been nominated for Mother of the Year twice. There. We good? The fighting has commenced. I wouldn’t mind a couple of underachievers, but it seems to be a skill set they’ve mastered. It’s all typical sibling stuff. The Girl, to The Boy: I’m ignoring you until tomorrow! (sweet!) The Boy, to The Girl: LALALALALALALALALALALALALALA LALALALALALALALALALALALALALA (not sweet!) She is now reduced to a puddle of tears, so I explain the age-old process of sibling annoyance. I tell her that she shouldn’t cry when he tries to irritate her, and HEY WHAT HAPPENED TO THE WHOLE IGNORING THING? She tells me that he’s just so annoying, and he won’t stop saying LALALA. I say that I know how she feels (‘cause I do, like, right now), but if we let him know that we are bothered, he will be very happy. She wipes her tears, and we look up to see The Boy, with a satisfied ear-to-ear grin. He is pleased. We’re now all on silent lunch. So the days go like that. A few minutes later, they are happily plotting their next adventure. Honestly, it was more than a few minutes. The Girl is the slowest eater on the planet. Ever. I’ve heard the “she’ll eat when she’s hungry” bit, and I know she won’t starve. I understand that. I’m convinced that her sole motive is to torture Mama. She repeatedly asks how many more bites she has to take before she’s done. We used to tell her to eat her dinner until we say she’s done, but she seems to like a specific number. Now we tell her to eat 20 bites or something and at that point she’s pretty much eaten her whole dinner. Whatever it takes. The Boy, despite being one of the smartest human beings I’ve ever met, can’t locate his own hands unless they are labeled. Every time we leave the house, we spend 15 minutes looking for something that is essential to the specific trip. This morning he was upset because his goggles for swim team were lost. Yesterday he had them, he left them right there, and now they’re gone. I offer my sweet motherly support and say, “Well, Boy, you obviously didn’t leave them right there, because unless they sprouted legs and walked away, your theory has some major holes.” I guess that works, because he starts looking for them. By “looking” I mean slowly turning around in a circle, eyes midway up the wall, so there’s no way he will ever see the goggles. Call us strange, but we don’t have a regular practice of mounting our swim gear on the walls in our den. I try to give him one more chance, because I’ve spotted the goggles. I’m all for teaching my kid independence, so I say “DO YOU REALLY NOT SEE THEM?” He looks at me, dumbfounded. I walk over to him, lift his foot and remove the goggles from underneath it. I consider all of this to be a minor roadblock in an otherwise fun summer. We have gone to the pool, seen movies and sporting events, played with friends, and we still get to go to the beach. Everyone tells me how good they are, so I think they just want to torment me (the one who gave them life!). I can handle it, but don’t go calling DFACS if you hear me yelling. Actually, if they take my kids, is it a one-night deal, or like a forever thing? I’d like to get them back, but a little break every now and then might not be so bad. KIDDING.

JENNYWRIGHT lives in Summerville with her husband, who she calls The Man, and two kids, who she affectionately calls The Boy and The Girl. She enjoys taking photos, cooking and playing tennis.

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AUSTIN RHODES

We Have No More Than We Did Before As I ponder spending the next 700 words or so discussing the hilarious irony of our most “consitutionally astute” president being as wrong on the constitutionality of his vaunted national healthcare plan as he could possibly be, I will let you in on a secret: I am writing this column a full 48 hours before the news of President Barack Obama’s constitutional ineptitude is certified official by the Supreme Court of the United States. That is how confident I am that he is wrong, and that the conservatives who fought him, and his ill-fated plan, were right. Yes, we hit the streets in print Thursday, so pardon my presumption, but a deadline is a deadline. In an effort to be safe, I did run the whole concept by a trusted family member, just to make sure I was on the right track. He concurred. I know many of you will scoff at the understanding my three-year-old son Beau may have of the Constitution and the Rule of Law as it applies in this case, but he seems to grasp the main points squarely. Again, and call me anal retentive if you must, still wanting to be thorough I did seek final, and yes, more mature counsel in the matter, fully vetting the topic with 56-year-old Atticus B. Guillebeau. He also concurred. At least I think it was a concur. It was definitely a purr, which is usually what he does as he concurs. You see, Atticus, whom you might remember from his incredibly insightful (and published) letter to former Metro Spirit editor Tom Grant, is my wife’s Siamese cat. So let’s line this up, shall we: A college drop out, a three-year-old boy, and a 56-year-old cat (eight in human years), seem to have a better understanding of the Constitution of the United States, and what it allows, than President Obama, and all the Dems who stood with him as this abortion of a healthcare plan was forced down the throats of the American public. I guess we should give them credit for trying to do something to address the American healthcare crisis, because the Republicans sure have not shared any good ideas on the topic, but at this point, giving the Dems cudos is like giving the dumbest kid in math class a gold star for yelling out a wrong answer really, really loud. But hey, at least they tried. Before Mitt Romney is even given the opportunity to step into this healthcare Thunderdome so he can show the world how brilliantly he can handle the problem, he would be wise to come

METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

clean with the American people about why we are in over our heads with healthcare costs. Take a look at the case of Aimee Copeland, for instance. Our very own Doctors Hospital, and, specifically, the Joseph M. Still Burn Center staff, have literally worked medical miracles to save this young woman’s life as she fights an insidious infection that has resulted in a near fatal case of necrotizing fasciitis. She has been in the hospital for almost two months, and faces literally years of rehab therapy and treatment, all in the hopes that she is able to lead a productive and satisfying life. I hope she gets it all, and then some, but it is not going to come cheap. Her medical bills are reportedly already in the seven-figure range, and there is no sign of the end of them. Twenty years ago, there would have been no miracle. There would be about a $6,000 funeral and a $2,000 gravestone marking her final resting place. We have a local businessman, Ray Lilly, and a beloved public servant, Debbie Marshall, who are both battling horrific brain tumors. Diagnosed with glioblastoma multiforme, or GBM as it is better known, both Lilly and Marshall are in the fight of their lives, again, to the tune of hundreds of thousands of dollars, if not more, before all is said and done. Thank God there have been recent breakthroughs in treatment, and, yes, some aggressive experimental trials, that offer hope to both of our neighbors and their families, but the cost of every new therapy, and the associated medical infrastructure, is staggering. Twenty years ago, well, reference the above funeral costs, and multiply by two. It is time for politicians of all stripes to wake up and realize we do not live in 1992 anymore. Our science has outpaced our pocketbooks, and our generosity with those who cannot afford even minimum insurance coverage is sending the nation into certain insolvency. Obamacare is not the answer, but we don’t see the GOP pulling an answer out of their fannies, either. (BTW... a colonoscopy is gonna run you over a thousand bucks) You want the European healthcare system? A British physician of my acquaintance tells me Aimee, Ray and Debbie would likely be dead already, if they lived in the U.K. Any ideas? Beau and the cat came up empty, too.

AUSTINRHODES

The views expressed are the opinions of Austin Rhodes and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

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PLAYABLE

By Kyle T. Dolan / Edited by Will Shortz 98 Points in the right direction 100 Ball partner 104 Begin a tour 108 He wrote “Knowledge is the food of the soul” 109 Senescence 110 Nickname for a hard-tounderstand monarch? 114 Lens cover for a large telescope? 116 Classical bow wielder 117 Eats up 118 Outer: Prefix 119 Blood rival 120 Oxford profs 121 Feature of grocery purchases, often 122Coral, e.g. 123Numbers game

44 Some Monopoly properties: Abbr. 46 Exasperated outburst 51 Cry just before disaster strikes 53 “The Magic Flute” protagonist 55 Mercedes-Benz luxury line 56 ___ choy (Chinese vegetable) 57 Troop grp. 62 Lovingly, to a musician 63 Fairy tale girl 64 Big game fish 65 That, in Tijuana 66 Fiesta bowl? 68 Sex appeal 69 A tabloid keeps tabs on one 71 G.I.’s address 73 Genesis son 74 Promise, e.g. 75 Alter ego who carries a notepad Down 76 Burkina ___ 1 Bigwig 77 Sorrow 2 Put a smile on 78 Arctic waters, on historical maps 3 Source of the words “mulligatawny” 79 Mythical elixir of forgetfulness and “catamaran” 80 Long-jawed fish 4 “Are you kidding me?!” 81 Where cheap seats are in a 5 Fives baseball stadium 6 ___ favor 82 Part of r.p.m.: Abbr. 7 Fort ___, N.C. 83 Useful husband, say 8 Source of a viral outbreak 88 Spanish bear 9 American ___ 89 Befuddle 10 Robe for one tending a flock 93 Nobel Prize subj. 11 Fa-la connector 94 “Frasier” character 12 Telephone system connectors 96 Outdoor promenade 13 Taser, say 99 iPod ___ 14 Airport security item 101 Brooch feature, maybe 15 “Giovanna d’___” (Verdi opera) 102 Over 16 German train track 103 One of the Marx Brothers 19 Dentist’s directive 104 Threw out of a contest, 20 Record listing informally 23 Neighbor of Poland: Abbr. 105 Prefix with zone 25 The Atlantic, in a common phrase 106 Lowly laborer 28 Quick preview 107 With 34-Across, what “<” means 31 Subject of Newton’s first law of 109 Concerto soloist, perhaps motion 111 Its stem is used in miso soup 32 Canon product, for short 112 Witticism 33 “Have a look!” 113 Cup holder? 35 Where pieces are put together? 115 Energy meas. 37 Most holes in one 38 Nomad 39 Baseball’s Justin or B. J. 40 Many a Silicon Valley hiree 41 Radical ’60s org. 42 Genesis son 43 “Ver-r-ry funny!”

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Across 1 Grp. with an alphabet 5 Message from police HQ 8 It makes bubbly bubbly 13 Tar 17 Eastern nurse 18 Brooklyn, e.g., informally 20 Hoi ___ 21 Mammy’s place 22 Falter while imitating Jay-Z? 24 Something thrown in “West Side Story”? 26 Underworld deity 27 “Is that clear?” 29 Dickensian setting 30 Trick-taking game 31 Like pumice 33 Game-ending cry 34 See 107-Down 36 Sing high notes? 42 1970s exile 45 Noted 2011 TV retiree, popularly 47 Reduce marks? 48 Kind of column 49 Nesting site 50 Wall Street type 52 Develops slowly 54 Cry upon arriving at an earthquake site? 58 In a frenzy 59 Dines on 60 X, on campuses 61 Bridge locale 62 It may follow “forever and ever” 63 Didn’t conceal one’s smugness 67 Region of 70-Across for which a type of wool is named 69 Animal stomach 70 See 67-Across 72 Suffix with ball 73 “All systems go” 76 Tuition and others 77 What the turnover-prone football player had? 82 Fountain location 84 El Pacífico, e.g. 85 Ball-shaped part 86 “Hmm …” 87 Knock for ___ 90 W.W. I battle locale 91 A bad one may contain holes 92 Shenanigans at the royal court? 95 Not a lot 97 Mil. leader

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28JUNE2012

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Ruffin’ It News Flash

The wide-open parameters of this column’s subject matter are both a great asset and maddening liability. On the one hand, I can write about pretty much anything I want. That’s why subjects have ranged from Rick Santorum is a Poop-Face to Beers I Like to Floyd Mayweather Explains the 21st Century Zeitgeist. The British humorist P.G. Wodehouse once explained his writing process thusly: “I usually just sit at a typewriter and curse a bit.” My process is similar, but is more along the lines of, “I sit at my laptop listening to Electric Wizard, wondering if I can slip another one by the editors.” I once spent over 500 words trying to describe what exactly it is that I do for this paper, IN THIS PAPER. That would be like the two Jean Claude Van Dammes from “Double Impact” playing Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots with a third Jean Claude Van Damme, and it would end the same way: in stretched metaphors and Belgian grunting. On the other hand, it’s almost more difficult to conjure something out of the blue. Sometimes my interest is piqued. Sometimes I’m inspired. Sometimes I spend more than one night on this thing. Tonight, after wracking my brain and drinking something called Bengali Tiger, the most interesting things I could think of were “I got a new pair of shoes” and “I just watched ‘Boogie Nights.’” Don’t get excited. I don’t know what you readers (all six of you) come to this column each week expecting, but I’m saving the “Fake Celebrity Dongs” article for Thanksgiving. And so I turn to politics, encountering the same problem. It’s tough to find a hook, especially since I already used the best one (GOP frontrunners as UFC counterparts). Instead, I’m just going to run down a list of the three stupidest things Mitt Romney has done during this election cycle. It may not be original or timely, but for pissed-off jokemongers, Romney is like Christmas, Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony, and “Predator 2” all rolled into one. 3. Courting Trump You could say that Donald Trump is like the combination of both Ron Paul and Ross Perot’s crazier parts, but that would be giving everyone involved way too much credit. He ran for president last time to give the new season of “The Apprentice” a ratings bump. It ended up working stupidly well, so he just figured he’d do it again. Everything Trump does is a well-calculated, though often hilarious, lurch of selfmarketing. It’s why he hasn’t upgraded the Tribble on his head in years: any press is good press to Trump, and that hairpiece has given birth to so many late night punchlines, fertility doctors keep Conan O’Brien’s writing staff on retainer. And his properties? If you told a homophobe to produce an oil painting of San Francisco circa 1997, it would be less garish than any of Trump’s hotels. Look, I understand that Romney — or any other nationwide GOP hopeful, for that matter — has to court the occasional lunatic. It’s why his criticism of Rush Limbaugh following Whoregate stopped at semantics, and why most Republican internet comment-hounds believe that Obama’s CIA killed Andrew Breitbart over a bro hug. But Trump is crossing a line, even for the party’s contemporary iteration, because it associates Romney with… 2. The Birther Movement Like I said, Trump does anything that he thinks will get him more attention. The only reason he hasn’t released a sex tape yet is because the director of “A Serbian Film” wept 10 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

openly while watching the dailies. And when you’re that much of a publicity whore, you tend to attach yourself to exponentially increasing levels of crazy. If you live in Georgia — and you do, or else you wouldn’t be reading this — it may seem like the Birther movement has something of a foothold. Hell, every time I drove from Milledgeville to visit my family in Fitzgerald, I passed a billboard on I-20 emblazoned with “Where’s the birth certificate?” It was amazing. Never before had I seen someone so proud of his extra chromosome. In truth, though, it’s largely seen as a fringe movement, mostly populated by individuals eager to find a conspiracy behind anything they don’t agree with. Yeah, Limbaugh, Hannity and Dobbs have perpetuated the notion on their shows, but those guys are such GOP shills that Kid Rock won’t friend them on Facebook. But Trump is by far the biggest name to associate himself with the movement, even though he obviously knows it’s a crock of s**t. So, to recap: Romney has not only associated himself with a cadre of nutbags so insane that the national party won’t court them outright, but he’s done it through a man whose own principles and sense of selfworth are so eroded that he does it all for the sake of ratings. 1. Opposing Gay Marriage People — mostly college students — like to talk about how this nation will eventually transcend the two-party system and, like, freedom and stuff, man. First of all, the last time this country had a political party free for all, we got the Bull Moose Party. Now, I don’t want to denigrate Teddy Roosevelt, and not just because his ghost can kill me with judo in six different languages. I can’t do better than Dave Barry’s take on this, so I’ll just quote him and say that the Bull Moose Party “evokes the majestic image of eating ferns and pooping all over the landscape.” With the current state of hipsters and indie music, the dyke is going to break wide with insufferably clever party names, most of them with the word “Deschanel” in the title. Second, and more importantly, the two parties are not going to fizzle simultaneously. Let’s be clear: the current version of the GOP is not long for this world. National polls recently found the nation as a whole turning the corner on gay marriage, by about a five-percentage-point margin. There is widespread oppression, yes, but the expansion of support systems for newly uncloseted homosexuals in America have more than kept pace. As a result, more individuals are coming out to their families who, in turn, find it impossible to denigrate and repress a loved one. True, gay marriage with continue to be defeated by referendum in individual states for a while now — Alabama is going to bring up the rear on that one, methinks, and pun definitely intended. But even the Mormons had a contingent in the recent Seattle Pride Parade, and Catholic parishes are breaking nationwide with their gay-bashing archbishops. More and more, the citizenry is discovering not how to turn their backs on faith, but how to merge it with a socially progressive, humanitarian worldview: the way it was originally intended.

JOSHRUFFIN, a Metro Spirit alum, is a published journalist and poet who just

received his MFA from Georgia College & State University. He was once the most un-intimidating bouncer at Soul Bar. 28JUNE2012

ERICJOHNSON

I’M READY FOR

Barrow Sheffield relishes underdog role Dublin attorney Maria Sheffield is the least known, least funded and probably the least feared among the four Republican candidates eyeing each other for the chance to run against Democratic incumbent John Barrow for Georgia’s 12th Congressional District. But according to her, she’s proud to be what some would dismissively call a “grassroots” candidate.

“It makes it hard to run a race when you haven’t raised $300,000, but it’s not an auction where the candidate goes to the highest bidder,” she says. “It makes it easier if everybody on your campaign disclosure list is willing to write you a $2,500 check, but for a lot of people that’s the end of their involvement. Those people who give you that $5 — they’d go to war with you to make sure they get a conservative in D.C. That’s the difference.” Those campaign disclosures have been the source of woe for all the candidates lately. When businessman Rick Allen started pointing fingers at the inner workings of Evans real estate attorney Wright McLeod’s campaign, that set a lot of people from all sides combing through the disclosures. In Sheffield’s case, the woe comes from the fact that she has raised so little money. With Allen and McLeod raising well above $250,000 apiece and Grovetown farmer Lee Anderson raising just over $200,000, Sheffield is pulling up the rear, having raised only $14,000 beyond a $100,000 loan. That’s enough to get you left off the debate list in some places, but Sheffield insists that in the day and age of social media, ground-up campaigning can be effective. “I think you do win races without having the most money,” she says. “It means you work a lot harder because you spend a lot more time out there in the district going door to door and making those telephone calls.” Unlike some, who it’s been suggested have come by their conservative viewpoint through opportunism or a shrug, Sheffield earned her conservative stripes at a young age. She was five when her father, a full-time member of the Air National Guard, was forced to retire due to medical issues. When she was 15, her mother was killed by a driver who was high on drugs. “Because of that and because of my father’s disability, I found myself in a situation from an early age knowing that I was going to have to support myself,” she says. “There wasn’t going to be a safety net or back up.” She later spent nine years caring for a grandmother suffering from dementia. “My parents were not involved in anything political — at all,” she says. “Still, there was that sense that you don’t rely on someone else.” While overcoming such hardships took tenacity and a singular desire to succeed, it instilled in her an allegiance to the conservative values that makes some of the well-publicized chatter coming from the other campaigns tough for her to take. “All I know about these issues is what I’ve heard,” she says. “I have not spent one penny of campaign money to investigate any of these allegations and what’s going on. But to me, something that relates to policy is someone who has voted consistently as a Democrat.” She is speaking foremost of Wright McLeod, who the Allen campaign demonstrated voted for Democrats in 2002, 2004, 2008 and 2010. “He can explain that any way he wants, but I will tell you, grassroots conservatives look at a vote for a Democrat in a presidential preference primary…” she lets her voice trail off. “There’s no explanation for that.” She claims his 2008 decision to vote in the Democratic primary didn’t show fellow Naval Academy graduate John McCain the same consideration he’s now requesting from veterans and military families.

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“Wright has interjected his military record for himself,” she says. “No other candidate did this.” As for McLeod and his wife contributing $10,000 to Democrat Rob Teilhet’s run for attorney general, she calls it “absolutely unacceptable,” given how a Democratic attorney general could affect the state’s ability to fight President Obama’s healthcare plan. Sheffield is equally hard on Allen, who also donated to Democratic candidates, in particular to imprisoned State Senator Charles Walker’s son, Champ. “I appreciate he’s a businessman,” she says. “He gets government contracts and there’s a political machine in place that makes that happen, but it’s inexcusable in my opinion.” Given the consequences, financial contributions, she says, should go beyond friendship and business relationships. “It’s the direction of this country,” she says. She characterizes Lee Anderson, the most established conservative in the race, as a career politician who has failed to distinguish himself despite his years in elected office. “If you’re not leading on issues in this state, if you’re not known for something substantial or fundamental — what are you going to do when you get to Washington?” she asks. “Talk about being a little fish in a big pond — casting a vote is not enough. You’ve got to fight for those things that are fundamentally important to you because that’s what being a representative is all about.” Part of Sheffield’s social media campaign rests on her policy statements, which she’s made available in video form. She hopes her relatively comprehensive statements will stand out from the shorter policy statements often employed on candidates’ websites. She has statements on jobs, education and national security, but she’s especially passionate about the idea of tax reform. “When Congress is changing the tax code every two months, small businesses cannot plan for that,” she says. “We could spend the rest of our lives tweaking our tax code and be almost no further down the road [to tax reform] than we are today.”

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Though she is supportive of both the Fair Tax and the 999 Plan, she stresses that the important thing right now is to make sure tax reform remains in the spotlight. While politically staunch, she’s also pragmatic enough to remain nimble. After a recent appearance on the Austin Rhodes Show, Sheffield quickly posted a policy regarding the Corps of Engineers’ management of Clarks Hill Lake that fell in line with the host’s position. “It was not, in all honesty, something I had taken and developed like some of those other issues, but I think in talking with him and him asking that question, it’s a complaint that I’ve certainly heard.” Though still considered a long shot, she remains optimistic that, compared to the three men, she is the candidate most able to go headto-head with John Barrow this fall. “You know what a liberal man fears the most,” she jokes. “A strong, conservative woman.” Barrow, she says, has been intentionally deceptive about his true position regarding the president’s policies. “I think it’s unacceptable for him to say that he’s working hand in hand with President Obama and then, when he comes to the district, he says he doesn’t necessarily support the administration,” she says. “He is a prime example of a career politician and why, I think, Congress has a nine percent approval rating.” She acknowledges Barrow’s ability to effectively walk the tightrope between a Democratic team player and an independent-minded voter, but continues to believe that the advantages lie with the Republicans when it comes to the general election. Not only was the district redrawn to give Republicans an eight percent advantage, she says the Democratic National Committee appears to be leaving Barrow unprotected, while the Republican National Committee has allocated $900,000 into the media market for the November election. “As a candidate, that’s almost a dream come true,” she says. “I do believe his days in political office are numbered, and I’m ready for that general election.”

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ERICJOHNSON

New Voice

Choral Society begins search for new director After two years under the direction of Dr. Timothy Powell, the Columbia County Choral Society is looking for a new director. “Dr. Powell has just done wonderful things with the Choral Society,” says Beth Noland, publicity chairperson. “We have learned a lot and got to do a lot of very challenging music and we’re sorry to see him go.” In order to find a replacement, Noland says they’re advertising throughout the CSRA. “We’re just looking for someone with very strong skills and experience with conducting and a knowledge of diverse styles,” she says. “We want to do a little of everything, from classical/sacred to Broadway. We’re just looking for someone who can take us to the next phase.” Powell came in as the director at Davidson School of Fine Arts, one of the highestranked performing high schools in the nation, but Noland says the next director might come from anywhere. He or she could be a high school or college director or perhaps a church choir director looking to do something on the secular side. The only real qualifications, she says, are skills in choral rehearsing and conducting and an ability to direct an orchestra. “Some people can direct choirs but not necessarily an orchestra,” she says. “If we ever do a major work that would include an orchestra, we would need to have somebody who could handle that also.” The Columbia County Choral Society was founded in 1997 and puts on three major concerts each year. An average of 40 members devote two hours each week to rehearsal, which is why being able to run an enjoyable rehearsal is such a desirable quality in a director. “We’re looking for someone who’s enjoyable to spend two hours with,” Noland admits. And while no specific timetable has been set for finding the new director, Noland made it clear that the sooner the better. “We would obviously like to get this taken care of by summer so we can kick off the fall with our new director in place.” As soon as the search committee comes up with a list of candidates, each finalist will have a rehearsal with the choir to judge his or her ability to conduct the group.

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ERICJOHNSON

As the city considers signing over the Aquatic and Tennis Centers to the New U, participants worry about access

PropertyCONSOLIDATION When word got out recently that the city was talking with officials at Augusta State University (ASU) and Georgia Health Sciences University (GHSU) about the possibility of the new, combined university taking over at least some control of the both the Aquatic Center and the Newman Tennis Center, it sent a shockwave through Augusta’s athletic community, particularly its highly structured competitive swim programs.

“Obviously, our biggest concern with our program would be continued access to the Aquatic Center,” says Adam Byars, program director and head coach of the Aiken-Augusta Swim League (ASL). “It’s the only 50-meter pool within 60 miles, probably.” While the majority of his swimmers practice at the Aquatic Center, the program averages about 280 swimmers, which means some swim at USC-Aiken and at Riverwood Plantation in Evans, where an inflatable dome was erected a few years ago to allow winter use. With that many swimmers, contemplating any change in plans can be daunting, but the idea of new management — and management with a built-in audience and allegiances different than the city’s — is particularly unsettling. Administrator Fred Russell admitted that the potential for a deal was being explored. “We’ve had some conversations with the university about the potential for them either taking that over in some shape or form or contributing to its operation or something of that nature,” he said. “As they grow the new university, there are things they need that they don’t have. So we’ve been talking about whether or not it would be appropriate for them to play some role.” Stressing that the talks are very preliminary, Russell said the two athletic centers represent a significant yearly investment that he would like to, at least in some part, defer. 18 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

“Between the Aquatic Center and the Newman Tennis Center, the budget is probably at $1 million,” he said. “Right at $900,000 or so, and if we could figure out a way to have the university contribute to that or some way for them to take on some of the cost of operations and maintenance — or even join up with us — then I think that seems to be a smart conversation at this point.” Though such a relationship might be daunting for those directly impacted, there is already plenty of sharing going on. “At one time we managed the Newman Tennis Center, and in partnership with the city we’ve used the Newman Tennis Center as the home of the Jaguars,” said ASU Athletic Director Clint Bryant. “And I know from an academic standpoint, they’ve put some classes at the center and continue to teach classes from a health and kinesiology standpoint. The New U is talking about partnering and continuing to partner with the city as far as the Aquatic Center and the Newman Tennis Center, and I think the bottom line is we’re just trying to look at how that might happen.” Most urban institutions work hand in hand with the municipalities they are in, he said. “From our standpoint, we offer men’s and women’s tennis and plan on continuing that as we move to the New U,” he said. “We don’t offer swimming or diving or water polo at this time, but that’s not to say that the future might bring some additional sports sponsorships, depending on how our enrollment grows and the interest of our students as we try to determine what sports to add.” 28JUNE2012

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At one time, ASU had a pool, but it’s no longer operational, and while GHSU buys passes to the Aquatic Center and sells them to its students, there’s no doubting the desirability of having greater control. “Like anyone else, you’ve got to go out and look at what’s in the best interest of the university,” Bryant said. “And I think that’s what the people at both Augusta State University and Georgia Health Sciences University are trying to figure out.” While Russell insisted any deal made with the new university would be contingent on maintaining an equal or greater amount of public access, given recent history, public uneasiness is understandable. On one hand, there is the municipal golf course, known as the Patch, which is now operated by the Patch of Augusta, a Scottish-based company. While the course consistently lost money when run by the city, critics of the privatization say the new arrangement has changed the culture of the course and altered the established access enjoyed by regulars. On the other hand, there are the actions of the new university — more specifically GHSU — which some feel has displayed imperialistic overtones since Dr. Ricardo Azziz took the helm. Not only has the university snatched up the Golf and Gardens property, recognized as the most valuable piece of land in downtown Augusta and long desired by the mayor as the site of a new downtown baseball stadium, it has successfully campaigned to change the look of Laney Walker Boulevard and meddled with a proposed Walmart Neighborhood Market slated for the 15th Street area near Kroger. With consolidation, the perception is that Azziz and GHSU has gobbled up ASU at a time when ASU was flexing muscles of its own, pushing forward with a Wrightsboro Road expansion while contemplating a downtown presence of its own. In the face of that kind of determined and focused growth, it’s understandable why some would question whether or not a guarantee to grant continued

public access would remain a priority to either party. Even without adding a university-sized stake in the Aquatic Center, competition for lanes during the key after-school hours is keen. “We have two year-round swim teams and right now we’re working with 13 local high schools,” said Aquatics Supervisor Roger Wexler. “If you’ve got a swim team, you’re pretty much here.” Basically, the hours from 3 to 8 p.m. are the prime time, though Wexler said other programming exists throughout the day, including water fitness and, during the summer, lots and lots of swimming lessons. And even though the high school teams and the two swim teams are all competing for the same limited space at the same time, Wexler said he keeps one or two lanes open for whatever public swimmers might want to use the pool during those prime hours. Those weekday hours aren’t the only times the pool is busy, however. “We encompass ASL and Greater Augusta Swimming (GAS) meets, but we also have the high school meets from both Georgia and South Carolina,” Wexler said. “I think we have about 41 days during the year that we’re exclusively on swim meets, and there’s a lot of economic impact there for the city of Augusta.” Randy DuTeau, events manager for the Augusta Sports Council, concurs. “Last year, we worked with ASL on a state youth swim competition that brought in roughly 850 swimmers for a four-day swim meet,” he said. “The thing about 28JUNE2012

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a meet like that is, these kids come in with Mom and Dad and brothers and sisters, so when you’re factoring the economic impact, you don’t just look at 850 swimmers. It actually ends up being pretty significant.” One meet, big impact. “The scorecard that we had — we were looking at around 2,000 room nights for that swim competition,” he said. “The economic impact exceeded $500,000.” Though the Augusta Sports Council doesn’t work with the swim clubs on every meet — ASL alone holds three major home meets every year — DuTeau said he’s working with the group on a Paralympics swim meet for the fall. “This year, the room nights will probably be good, and we feel like it will be significant to the community, but at the same time, it’s one of those things that you launch this year and you get some great PR out of it,” he said. “You get the backing of U.S. Paralympics and then it only grows.” The kids who participate in the swim clubs don’t just swim a few laps and leave, either. Byars said that during the school year, ASL swimmers, who range in age from seven to seniors in high school, practice close to 20 hours a week. Despite the worries, Byars said that any movement toward the new university

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resurrecting ASU’s old swim team would be a good thing, considering the state of competitive swimming in the university system. “There’s something like 8,000 swimmers in Georgia swimming, and those options to swim are pretty limited,” he said. “In the state of Georgia, the only state schools that have swimming programs are Georgia, Georgia Tech and then Georgia Southern, which has a woman’s team.” According to DuTeau, university participation in a swimming venue isn’t new and often it isn’t a problem to the greater swimming population. “I can tell you that Georgia Tech, who inherited the Olympic Aquatic Center, hosts a number of college events, but at the same time they are doing a lot of the USA Swimming meets,” he said. “Just from my understanding, it’s been a great relationship.” For now, however, Augusta’s swimmers and tennis players are taking a wait and see approach. “Everything’s on the table except for a reduction of public use,” Russell said. “That’s a deal breaker.” 28JUNE2012

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ENTERTAIN

Sure, the first thing everyone thinks of on the 4th of July is fireworks - and the celebrations in Augusta, Columbia County and at For t Gordon will cer tainly have plenty - but be sure to ge Tuesday, July 3, from 3-11 p.m., features the Swingin’ Medallions and the U.S. Army Signal Corps Band, a carnival and water rides, food and craft vendors (call 706-791-6779 or visit for and a children’s area (call 706-821-1754 or visit augustaga.gov). And Patriots Park’s celebration, on Wednesday, July 4, from 4-10:30 p.m., includes games, rides, children’s activities, f

Arts

Call for Entries for the Augusta Photo Festival, which is October 27-November 4, is going on now through August 1. For contest rules and more information, visit augustaphotofestival.org/competition.html. Call 706-834-9742 or email info@augustaphotofestival.org. Active-duty military personnel and their families will receive free admission to the Morris Museum of Art through Sunday, September 2, as part of the museum’s participation in the Blue Star Museum program. Call 706-7247501 or visit themorris.org. Day of Art, hosted by the North Augusta Artists Guild, is each Tuesday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. at the Arts and Heritage Center and includes a group of artists painting in the center who will answer questions or allow visitors to join in. Call 803-441-4380 or visit artsandheritagecenter.com.

Exhibitions

Casey Pearson Photography Exhibition shows June 30-August 11 at the Inner Bean Cafe. An opening reception is Saturday, June 30, from 10 a.m.3 p.m. Call 706-364-3752. Photography Outreach Camp Exhibition will be on display in the Morris Museum of Art’s Education Gallery July 3-29. An opening celebration is scheduled for Sunday, July 8, at 1:30 p.m. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. Friedman Branch Library Teen Photography Contest Exhibition shows at the library through July 24. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Hamburg: The Forgotten Town, an historical exhibit on the town which flourished on the South Carolina banks near the modern Fifth Street Bridge, shows June 28-August 24 at the Arts & Heritage Center of North Augusta. Call 803-441-4380 or visit artsandheritagecenter.com. Adult Student Art Exhibition shows through July 28 at the Aiken Center for the Arts. Call 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org. Plein Air Painters Exhibition, including the works of Sally Donovan, Marilyn Hartley, Ann LeMay, Sharon Taylor Padgett, Jane Popiel and Carol Sue Roberts, shows in June at the Aiken Center for the Arts’ AAG Gallery. Call 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org. ASU/NYC Art Exhibition, featuring manipulated photography and wall-sized painting created by ASU students, shows in the Mary S. Byrd Gallery of Art until July 23 and at the Morris Museum of Art until July 1. Visit aug.edu. The Work of Ceramic Artist Kyungmin Park is on view through July 27 at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art. Call 706-722-5495 or visit ghia.org. 22 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Sally’s Art Exhibition shows through the end of the month at Gaartdensity downtown and features hand-embroidered, cross-stitched and sewn works made with recycled materials. Call 706-466-5166 or email gaartdensitygallery@rocketmail.com. Spaces Between, paintings by Staci Swider, is an exhibition that shows in June at Gaartdensity downtown. Call 706-466-5166 or email gaartdensitygallery@rocketmail.com. Harriet Speer Art Exhibition shows through the end of the month at Casa Blanca Cafe. Call 706-504-3431 or visit casablancatime.com. Annual Photography Exhibition shows through July 31 at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History. Call 706-724-3576 or visit lucycraftlaneymuseum.com. Tying the Knot, a display of wedding dresses and accessories from the late 1800s to the 1960s, now shows at the Augusta Museum of History. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org. ACA Summer Camp Exhibition, featuring the works of participants in the center’s summer art camps, shows June-August at the Aiken Center for the Arts. Call 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org. The watercolor works of South Carolina native Renea H. Eshleman are on display through June 30 at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. David Mascaro Studio Group Exhibit, featuring the work of Yong Ae Alford, Cathy Armstrong, Mary Ann Brock, Carolyn Bohn, Sharon Fausnight, Linda B. Hardy, Miriam Katz, Linda Lavigne, David Mascaro and Sue Porterfield, will be on display through June 29 at Sacred Heart Cultural Center. Call 706-826-4700 or visit sacredheartaugusta.org. Golden Afternoon: English Watercolors from the Elsley Collection shows through July 1 at the Morris Museum of Art. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. Window on the West: Views from the American Frontier, an exhibition of more than 60 paintings and works on paper from artists including Frederick Remington, Karl Bodmer and John James Audubon, shows at the Morris Museum of Art through July 22. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org.

Music

Newsboys Concert is Thursday, June 28, at Evans Towne Center Park, with gates open at 5 p.m. and music beginning at 6 p.m. $18, advance; $20, gate. Visit evanstownecenterpark.com.

Music in the Park, featuring Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold, is Thursday, June 28, at 7 p.m. at the Maude Edenfield Park in North Augusta. Free. Call 803-442-7588 or visit naartscouncil.org. Orchestra Camp Performance, presented by the ASU Conservatory Program, is Friday, June 29, at 6:30 p.m. at the Maxwell Theatre. Call 706731-7971 or visit aug.edu. Moonlight Music Cruise featuring Terry & Jordan is Friday, June 29, at 7 p.m. at the Augusta Canal. Participants are invited to bring snacks and drinks to the one and a half hour Petersburg Boat cruise. $25. Call 706823-0440 or visit augustacanal.com. The Columbia County Amateur Series, featuring Jaqueline Perkins, Maria Potter, Big B, Christina Berkshire, Jeff Matthews, Elodie Aurora, Wendy Cleveland, Donald Peardon, Braxton Berry and Pyroteque, is Friday, June 29, at 7 p.m. at the Columbia County Amphitheater. Call 706-868-3349 or visit columbiacountyga.gov. Fresh Music Festival, hosted by Doug E Fresh and featuring Keith Sweat, K-Ci & JoJo, SWV and Guy, is Friday, June 29, at 8 p.m. at the James Brown Arena. $41-$67. Call 877-4AUGTIX or visit georgialinatix.com. Symphony Orchestra Augusta’s l’Ouvert ensemble will open the Augusta Mall’s Food Court Concert Series on Saturday, June 30, at 7 p.m. Call 706733-1001 or visit augustamall.com. Calvin “Big Bopper” Edwards performs as part of Garden City Jazz’s Candlelight Jazz Series on Sunday, July 1, at the 8th Street River Stage downtown at 8 p.m. Free. Visit gardencityjazz.com. 2012 Hopelands Summer Concert Series, featuring the Parris Island Marine Corps Band, is Monday, July 2, at 7 p.m. at Hopelands Gardens in Aiken. Participants should bring lawn chairs and blankets. Free. Call 803642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. The Salvation Army School of the Performing Arts holds classes each Tuesday. Included is instruction in piano, drums, guitar, voice and brass. Call 706-364-4069 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Literary

Maxwell Morning Book Club, featuring “The Warmth of Other Suns” by Isabel Wilkerson, is Thursday, June 28, at 10 a.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org. East Central Georgia’s Summer Reading Program continues through July 20. Categories include Dream Big: Read! for children up to 12 years old, Own the Night for those ages 13-19 and Cover 2 Cover for adults. Visit any 28JUNE2012

Gold Silver Bronze

GOLD’S GYM: JUNE 2012 |p.3

Fit to Be Gold’s top finishers share their secrets It’s been less than a month since Chelsie Lee was crowned winner of Gold’s Gym’s Fit to Be Gold competition, and she is still going strong, working on losing the remaining 20 pounds that will help her reach her long-term goal. And she’s not the only one keeping up with the good habits they started during Phase 4 of the 12-week competition that began in March. While it may have been easy, or easier, for second-place finisher Rob Forbes and third-place finisher Bobby Burke to lose excess pounds when they had a free gym membership, complete with the services of a Premier Fitness trainer, both say they’re keeping up with their fitness and nutrition regimens for the long haul. All are keeping the weight off and here, in their own words, is how they’re doing.

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Chelsie Lee, Fit to Be Gold Winner Starting Weight: 182 Finishing Weight: 143 Percentage Lost: 21.20 Why did you decide to enter the Fit to Be Gold Challenge? Well, I wanted to kind of learn to live a healthier lifestyle so when my husband and I have a family we can teach them a healthier lifestyle. My mother and I are also participating in the Avon Walk in October, and that’s when you do a marathon the first day and half marathon the second day. I wanted to get in shape for that so I wouldn’t ruin my knees or anything. What was the most surprising aspect of your 13week journey? I don’t know. I think I was pretty well prepared mentally. I’ve lost weight before, I lost 30 pounds when I got married, so I was pretty well prepared. It was kind of what I expected, I think. What was the most difficult part of the Fit to Be Gold Challenge? I think both the exercise and the diet were difficult, but I set my mind to the fact that I was going to do what I needed to do, so once I set my mind to that fact, it made it easier. I know that what I did was difficult, but once I set my mind to it, I did it and that made it easier. What was the easiest part of the Fit to Be Gold Challenge? I can say what made the competition easier: My trainer made the competition a lot easier because he was very encouraging and he believed in me and I didn’t want to let him down. That made it easier for me to stick to what I decided to do because I was accountable to him. Even though his workouts were incredibly difficult, it made it easier to have someone beside you supporting you. Was there ever a point when you wanted to give up? I went out of town a whole lot during the contest, and it was definitely more difficult when I was out of town. I never wanted to quit. For instance, I threw a bridal shower for my friend and I said to myself, “You can eat like a regular person, you just have to watch the amount

of what you eat.” So I didn’t feel like I was cheating. I never wanted to drop out completely, but I did cheat a couple of times… I allowed myself some room. How did you feel at the end of the Fit to Be Gold Challenge? I was really excited because I could eat regular food again but, at the same time, I was also really nervous because I didn’t have the same accountability. I feel like I was more afraid because I didn’t have someone watching over me. How are you doing today, now that the challenge has been over for a month? I work out a lot more, and I like to work out because it gives me energy and makes

me feel better. When I am in town I’ve noticed that I’m eating a lot more healthy. I search for healthier recipes, a try to eat real, non-processed foods and a lot more fruits and vegetables. I’ve learned how to enjoy healthy foods more. When you eat processed food it sort of takes that enjoyment away. It’s definitely become more natural for me. What are your long-term goals? Just to maintain a healthy lifestyle and make it second nature to me so that, when we have kids, they grow up with a healthy lifestyle so they don’t have to retrain themselves. They just grow up that way.

Bobby Burch, Fit to Be Gold Third Place Finisher Starting Weight: 283 Finishing Weight: 257 Percentage Lost: 19.57

Why did you decide to enter the Fit to Be Gold Challenge? My girlfriend… well, at that point we weren’t really together but we were friends… and this is Nancy Wilson, who was also in the contest, we had been talking about doing something to get into shape.

GOLD’S GYM: JUNE 2012 |p.5

Rob Forbes, Fit to Be Gold Second Place Finisher Starting Weight: 214 Finishing Weight: 167 Percentage Lost: 21.12 Why did you decide to enter the Fit to Be Gold Challenge? Well, for me it’s a little different than anyone else I’ve been involved with the contest for the last year and half they’ve been doing it because I’m the guy who does the video production for Gold’s Gym. But I had just reached a point where everyday things were difficult to do because of my weight. You feel your weight on some of the smallest tasks like walking up the stairs, and I live in a two-story house so I would get winded walking up the stairs. My job is very physical, so I needed to get in shape because I work for myself and it’s not like I can change jobs. What was the most surprising aspect of your 13-week journey? The intensity of it. You know, I had lost weight before and it’s never easy to lose weight or to get in shape. But when I did it before, I did it on my own schedule and over a much longer period of time. Fit to Be Gold is not for the faint of heart. It literally should only be for the people who really want to lose weight. To accomplish that weight loss in 90 days is extremely difficult to do. I don’t want to intimidate people because the rewards far outweigh the difficulty. What was the most difficult part of the Fit to Be Gold Challenge? I think the most difficult part was the diet and exercise combined, and I say that because you can’t do one or the other. You have to do both with equal intensity. To be completely successful and not leave anything on the table, you have to do both. If you just exercise and you don’t diet, or if you just diet and don’t exercise, you’re not going to be as successful. That’s the bottom line. What was the easiest part of the Fit to Be Gold Challenge? Things were difficult in bad ways and things were difficulty in good ways. Some of the exercise was grueling and that can be considered bad, but through the process of doing these grueling exercises I pushed myself to limits I didn’t know I could reach and that was pretty cool. And probably one of the things that

was easiest was working with a trainer. My trainer really knew his stuff, he was just as committed as I was, he knew what he was doing and he was very well educated, it was just a great experience. Was there ever a point when you wanted to give up? I was 100 percent committed from Day One. The fact that I led the weigh ins until the end should be proof of that. I was a bulldog. I knew what it was going to take and I was 100 percent committed. How did you feel at the end of the Fit to Be Gold Challenge? I can’t compare the way I felt after 90 days to the way I felt when I started. The very fist day, my trainer put me through this circuit routine, and it was pathetic. I think I did maybe six sit-ups and I could barely run the length of the gym. By the end of the contest, I could do 10 times that. That was huge. Unbelievable. I think that it is a great, great thing. There are other places in Augusta that are doing weight loss programs, but in my opinion what is happening with Gold’s Gym and Fit to Be Gold is much more real.

She talked me into going and entering the contest. It wasn’t really for the money, although the money would have been nice, it was just to do something for our health and get in shape.

off: twenty pounds the first five weeks. It was… I don’t want to make it seem like it was simple… but the easy part was watching the weight come off. As long as I did what I was supposed to do, the weight came off.

What was the most surprising aspect of your 13-week journey? I was actually surprised how, with a little hard work and dedication, how easy that weight came off. That was the biggest surprise to me.

Was there ever a point when you wanted to give up? No, no, no, I never considered quitting. My girlfriend wouldn’t allow it. At some point during the 13 weeks, she and I got really close: we were eating together, shopping together and it brought us closer in that respect. That was probably the best thing that came out of the 13 weeks was my relationship with her, but she wouldn’t have any part of me not doing what I was supposed to do. She dogs me in that respect, and that’s a good thing.

What was the most difficult part of the Fit to Be Gold Challenge? The difficulty was probably making myself go out and go to the gym. When I had scheduled appointments with the trainer, it wasn’t that hard. Just going on my own, doing the cardio, just the discipline of doing that on your own, that was the most difficult part. What was the easiest part of the Fit to Be Gold Challenge? I was surprised how easy the weight came

How did you feel at the end of the Fit to Be Gold Challenge? I have to admit that I was a little disappointed that I didn’t win that check. I think I was six pounds behind Chelsie and Rob, but, you know,

How are you doing today, now that the challenge has been over for a month? I’m probably an anomaly because I am a very self-motivated person. I’ve worked out every single day. I can’t say that I’ve maintained the diet, because chicken and broccoli for the rest of your life is not healthy. But I have maintained what is reasonable. I can assure you that I did not go through 90 days of hell to go back to eating fried bologna sandwiches. And I know it’s not realistic for me to go to the gym every single day. I think I’m doing it because I think I’m still on a high. Once I figure out that balance, I’ll be committed to that balance. What are your long-term goals? I’ve actually thought about that for the past couple of weeks, that I don’t have a goal now. When it got tough and I wanted to east cheesecake instead of broccoli, I had a goal to remind myself of and now I don’t have that. I haven’t really written down a long-term goal but long term is that I want to develop a healthy lifestyle that I can manage. I don’t have a target weight in mind, I just want to be able to find a balance so that I can walk up the stairs and not gasp for air.

you can’t second guess it. I’m totally satisfied with how it turned out. How are you doing today, now that the challenge has been over for a month? I think I’m a lot more confident, more positive about things that happen around me. I’m a lot more energetic, I know that. Nancy and I just climbed to the stop of Table Rock yesterday, so I’m definitely a lot more active and have a lot more energy. I might have gained a couple of pounds back since the contest, but I think I knocked those back off yesterday. What are your long-term goals? Nancy and I were just talking yesterday that we’re going to get back on a stricter diet as of today. Gave ourselves 3-4 weeks to have fun. I know I went from a size 44 waist to a size 38 waist. Just bought a pair of size 38 shorts yesterday and they’re even a little loose on me.

For more information on the 12-Week Challenge, which is available at the Augusta, Evans, North Augusta and Aiken Gold’s Gym locations, call 706-993-2469.

CHALLENGE

accepted

begins new weight loss/fitness program

Premier Fitness

If you’re looking at the top three Fit to Be Gold contestants and kicking yourself for not entering, Premier Fitness’ Tony Dempsey has good news for you: the new 12-Week Challenge is starting soon. Rather than competing against others, however, individuals will be working with Premier trainers to lose weight and get back in shape. “Typically, the person who’s going to be in this program is 30, 40 or 50 pounds overweight, and they haven’t stepped foot in a gym in a while. Or, maybe if they have, they haven’t had the best experience,” Dempsey explained. “It’s open to anybody who wants to make a change in their life. We’re here to help make a difference in people’s lives.” Participants can join the 12-Week Challenge by simply calling the number below and paying a $39 registration fee. They will receive one-on-one instruction and guidance from a trainer and a free Gold’s Gym membership for the duration of the 12 weeks. Why 12 weeks? “Really what it does is it creates a, ‘I need to do it now’ mentality. It kind of puts a timeline to it,” Dempsey explained. “It puts something a little more realistic in their minds. Will they achieve all their goals during those 12 weeks? Maybe or maybe not, but they’re going to be better off than when they started.” But just because the program has specific start and end dates doesn’t mean that potential participants should be intimidated. A Premier Fitness trainer will be with them every step of the way. “We start off with an initial consultation with each person just to get to know them, understand their goals and also understand the emotional and mental aspects of how they got where they are today,” he said. “We really try to partner with them in every way we can to get the best success.” After this initial meeting comes an assessment workout, 30 minutes long, so the trainer can measure each participant’s level of fitness. The trainer will use this information to come up with a 12-week plan, which they will oversee. The 12-Week Challenge, Dempsey said, is for anyone, from couples to those with physical limitations. “We’ve seen people lose 50, 60, 70 pounds, and we’ve seen people who could only run on the treadmill for one minute at the beginning of the program who could run on it for an hour at the end of the program,” he said. “And for people who have physical limitations, they shouldn’t let that stand in the way. We can work with anybody to get them where they need to be.”

healthier

GOLD’S GYM: JUNE 2012 |p.7

6 WAYS TO HAVE

You don’t have to throw out that red-checkered tablecloth or forgo a refill on your propane tank, just be aware that research has shown grilling meats at high heat can cause the carcinogens heterocyclic amine (HCA) and polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons (PAHs) to form. And it’s not an insignificant amount. One study found that people who consume well-done meat — grilled, barbecued, pan-fried or broiled — on a regular basis were 60 percent more likely to get pancreatic cancer. Longer cooking times might also increase the risk of stomach, lung and breast cancer.

USE A MARINADE

A 2008 study found that spicy marinades can decrease HCA formation, so don’t be afraid to sprinkle on the red pepper. Certain spices are packed with antioxidants that will help to eliminate HCAs in the grilling process. One study showed that adding spices, such as thyme, sage and garlic, can reduce the amount of total HCAs by 60 percent compared to the control. Rosemary may be especially potent. A recent study found that high concentrations of rosemary extracts may reduce HCAs by up to 90 percent in some cases. Get inspired by these marinated meals.

ADD ALCOHOL

At your next barbecue, don’t forget beer and wine... for your marinade. We know red wine is full of antioxidants, and this can carry over in your marinades. Marinating beef in red wine for six hours before grilling decreased the amount of carcinogens — 40 percent fewer than in beef that wasn’t marinated — according to a study by the University of Porto in Portugal. This same study found similar positive effects using beer, and participants gave the beer-marinated beef top marks for quality.

TURN DOWN THE HEAT

Well done shouldn’t be in your vocabulary if you’re trying to cut down on carcinogens. Studies have shown that higher temperatures lead to an increase in HCAs. Allow some extra time, and try to cook your meat below 325°F, which is the temperature at which HCAs begin to form. To ensure that you’re meeting the minimum cooking temperatures, invest in a meat thermometer, and make sure your burgers have an internal temperature of 160°F.

BARBEQUE

PRECOOK FOOD IN THE MICROWAVE

Before your fire up the grill, nuke meat in the microwave for one or two minutes at medium power. Studies have shown that microwaving meat for two minutes prior to cooking decreased HCAs by 90 percent. Just remember to throw out the juice — that’s where the HCAs lurk.

GRILL VEGGIES

Grilled veggies offer that same hot-off-the-grill taste but don’t contain carcinogens like their meaty counterparts. Portobello mushroom burgers are a great hearty option. However, if you crave grilled meat, make kebabs. Using half meat, half veggies is healthier and cuts down on the HCAs.

LESS IS MORE WHEN IT COMES TO MARINATING

Though this may sound counterintuitive, marinating meat for long lengths of times may lower the percentage of antioxidants in the sauces. A 2010 study found that marinating meat in sauce for five hours prior to oven baking cut down the antioxidant activity in the sauce compared with cooking after shorter marinating times. Play it on the safe side by aiming to marinate your meat for no more than a few hours. Marinades don’t soak deep into the meat, so there’s not a lot of flavor advantage to an overnight marinade. And brushing a little extra sauce on the meat shortly before serving could give you an extra boost of antioxidants.

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Weekly Wine Tastings at Vineyard Wine Market in Evans are each Friday from 4:30-6:30 p.m. and each Saturday from 1-6 p.m. Call 706-922-9463 or visit vine11.com. The Augusta Market at the River is every Saturday through October 27 from 8 a.m.-2 p.m. at the 8th Street Bulkhead and features produce, arts and crafts and more for sale, as well as live music and entertainment. Call 706-627-0128 or visit theaugustamarket.com.

Health

Mobile Mammography Screenings, offered by appointment, are available June 28 at Walmart in Aiken; June 29 at Edgefield Medical Center; July 2-3 at ASCO in Aiken; and July 5 at University Hospital. Appointments can be made from 8 a.m.-3 p.m. each day. Call 706-774-4145 or visit universityhealth.org. GHSU’s medical center board will meet Thursday, June 28, from 10 a.m.noon at the Children’s Medical Center and the health system board will meet from 1:30-3:30 p.m. Committee meetings will be held throughout the day. Call 706-721-6569 or visit georgiahealth.org. Childbirth Education 101 is Thursday, June 28, from 6-8:30 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. Pre-registration required. Call 706-481-7727 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Infant CPR Class is Thursday, June 28, at 7 p.m. at University Hospital. Preregistration required. Call 706-774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org.

et to your place of celebration early to take advantage of everything else. For t Gordon’s Independence Day Celebration, on tgordon.com). Augusta’s, on Wednesday, July 4, from 4-10 p.m. at the Augusta Common, includes enter tainment, vendors food and drinks and live music at 6:30 p.m. (call 706-312-7194 or visit columbiacountyga.gov). branch or ecgrl.org. Porter Fleming Literary Competition submissions are being accepted now through July 13. The competition is open to authors ages 18 and older from Georgia, Florida, Alabama, South Carolina and North Carolina, and categories include fiction, nonfiction, poetry and plays. Prizes totaling $7,000 will be awarded. Entry forms and guidelines can be found at themorris.org/porterfleming.html. Nook tutorials at Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall are each Saturday beginning at noon, followed by a Nookcolor tutorial at 12:30 p.m. Free. Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com.

Dance

Tango Night is every Thursday, 7-9:30 p.m., at Casa Blanca Cafe, 936 Broad Street. Call 706-504-3431 or visit casablancatime.com. Belly Dance Class is every Tuesday at 6 p.m. at Euchee Creek Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. Augusta International Folk Dance Club meets Tuesday nights from 7:309:30 p.m. at the Augusta Ballet Studio on 2941 Walton Way. No partners needed. First visit free. Call 706-399-2477.

Theater

Auditions for “Hairspray,” a production of the Augusta Players, are Saturday, June 30, at 1 p.m. at Crossbridge Baptist Church. Visit augustaplayers.org.

Flix

Boat In Movie Night, featuring a showing of “John Carter, is Saturday, June 30, at dark at Wildwood Park in Appling. Visit columbiacountyga.gov. “Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland” shows Monday, July 2, at 10:30 a.m. and 4 p.m. at North Augusta’s Nancy Carson Library. Call 803-2795767 or visit abbe-lib.org. “The Never-Ending Story” shows Tuesday, July 3, at 10:30 a.m. and 4 p.m. at North Augusta’s Nancy Carson Library. Call 803-279-5767 or visit abbe-lib.org. Children’s Movie Matinee shows Tuesday, July 3, at 2:30 p.m. at the Harlem Branch Library. Free. Call 706-556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org. “The Wizard of Oz” shows Thursday, July 5, at 10:30 a.m. and 4 p.m. at North Augusta’s Nancy Carson Library. Call 803-279-5767 or visit abbelib.org.

28JUNE2012

Monday Movie Matinees show at 2 p.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Participants are invited to bring their own snacks. Call 706-7722432 or visit ecgrl.org.

Special Events

New Officer Meet and Greet is Friday, June 29, from 2-4 p.m. at the Kroc Center Banquet Hall. The public is invited to meet Captains Tony and Vicki Perez, new area commanders. Call 706-826-7933 or visit uss. salvationarmy.org Beer Tasting is Friday, June 29, from 5-8 p.m. at Wine World in North Augusta. $5, with a $3 rebate upon purchase of six bottles of the featured beers. Call 803-279-9522 or visit wineworldsc.com. 5th Friday in Aiken, sponsored by Aiken Young Professionals, is Friday, June 29, from 7-11 p.m. at the Alley downtown. The free event includes music by Palmetto Groove, kids activities and more. Visit downtownaiken.com. Last Saturday in the Park featuring historical reenactments is Saturday, June 30, from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Living History Park in North Augusta. Call 803-279-7560 or visit colonialtimes.us. Fort Gordon’s Independence Day Celebration is Tuesday, July 3, from 3-11 p.m. and features live concerts by the Swingin’ Medallions and the U.S. Army Signal Corps Band, a carnival and water rides, food and craft vendors, and fireworks. Free and open to the public. Call 706-791-6779 or visit fortgordon.com. Augusta’s Independence Day Celebration is Wednesday, July 4, from 4-10 p.m. at the Augusta Common and surrounding downtown areas and includes a main stage with entertainment, vendors, a children’s area and fireworks. Call 706-821-1754 or visit augustaga.gov. Fourth of July Celebration is Wednesday, July 4, from 4-10:30 p.m. at Patriots Park and includes games, rides, children’s activities, food and drinks, live music at 6:30 p.m. at a fireworks display at dark. Call 706-3127194 or visit columbiacountyga.gov. 16th Annual Star Spangled Fourth Concert is Wednesday, July 4, at 7:30 p.m. at St. Paul’s Church on the Riverwalk, and is followed by a barbecue dinner. $15, general admission; $20, afterglow BBQ. Call 706-722-3463 or visit riverwalkseries.com. First Thursday at Midtown Market on Kings Way is Thursday, July 5, from 5-8 p.m. and features author Charmain Zimmerman Brackett signing copies of her book “The Key of Elyon, the work of featured artist Leonard “Porkchop” Zimmerman and Storyland Theatre as the cup charity. Call 706-364-8479.

Weekend Childbirth Education Class is Friday, June 29, from 6:30-9:30 p.m. and Saturday, June 30, from 9 a.m.-5:30 p.m. at University Hospital. Preregistration required. Call 706-774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org. Look Good, Feel Better Workshop, a class that helps female cancer patients maintain their looks and self-image during chemo and radiation, is Monday, July 2, at 3 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Pre-registration required. Call 706-651-4343 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Lymphedema Education Class meets Tuesday, July 3, at noon at University Hospital’s Breast health Center. Visit universityhealth.org. Total Joint Replacement Class is Tuesday, July 3, at 1 p.m. at University Hospital. Free. Call 706-774-2760 or visit universityhealth.org. Cribs for Kids, a class that teaches caregivers about providing infants with a safe sleep environment, is Thursday, July 5, from 5:45-8 p.m. at GHSU’s Building 1010C. Families who can demonstrate a financial need will receive a portable crib, fitted sheet, sleep sac and pacifier for $10. Pre-registration required. Call 706-721-7606 or visit georgiahealth.org/ safekids. Child Safety Seat Inspections and Car Seat Class, sponsored by Safe Kids East Central, are offered by appointment at either the Safe Kids Office or Martinez-Columbia Fire Rescue. Call 706-721-7606 or visit georgiahealth. org/safekids. Joint Efforts, presented by Trinity Hospital of Augusta, meets every Thursday from 11-11:45 a.m. at Augusta Bone and Joint, and features a free seminar about knee and hip pain, treatments, medication, food and exercise. Call 706-481-7604 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Infant CPR Anytime Learning Program will be held Thursdays at 6:30 p.m. at the first floor information desk (west entrance) of Georgia Health Sciences University. Visit georgiahealth.edu. Multiple Sclerosis and Parkinson Disease Aquatics Class meets every Monday and Friday at noon at the Wilson Family Y. Free for members; $3 for non-members. Pre-registration required. Call Claudia Collins at 706922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org. Heart Attack and Stroke Prevention Orientation is every Monday at 6 p.m. and Tuesday at 2 p.m. at University Hospital’s Heart & Vascular Institute (Classroom 3). Call 706-774-5548 or visit universityhealth.org. Adapted Wii Special Populations available by appointment at the Wilson Family Y, and feature individual ½-hour classes for physically and developmentally challenged individuals of all ages. $10, members; $20, non-members. Call Claudia Collins at 706-922-9662 or visit thefamilyy.org.

Support

Bariatric Seminar is Thursday, June 28, at 6 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-651-4343 or visit doctorshospital.net. CSRA Dream Catchers, a support group for those with traumatic brain AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 23

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injuries, meets Monday, July 2, at 6 p.m. at Walton Options for Independent Living in North Augusta. Call 803-279-9611 or visit csradreamcatchers. com.

29-30, Monday-Tuesday, July 2-3, at 7:05 p.m. and Sunday, July 1, at 5:35 p.m. at Lake Olmstead Stadium. $7-$11. Call 706-736-7889 or visit greenjacketsbaseball.com.

A-Team Autism Spectrum Disorder Support and Resource Group meets Tuesday, July 3, at 6 p.m. at GHSU’s Children’s Medical Center. Call 706721-5160 or email ddrakele@georgiahealth.edu.

First Time 5K Program Information Session is Thursday, June 28, at 7:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. $50 for members; $75 for non-members. Call 706364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

CSRA Huntington’s Disease Support Group meets Tuesday, July 3, at 6:30 p.m. at MCG Movement Disorders Clinic. Call 706-721-2798 or 706-2312775.

Run for Aimee 5K Run/Walk is Saturday, June 30, at 8 a.m. beginning at the Savannah Rapids Pavilion and funds raised will go toward Aimee Copeland’s medical expenses. Check in and packet pick up begins at 7 a.m. $25. Visit active.com.

Amputee Support Group meets Thursday, July 5, at noon at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital. An amputee clinic will be held immediately following at 1 p.m. Call 706-823-8504 or visit wrh.org.

Firecracker Full Moon Hike is Tuesday, July 3, at 9 p.m. at Phinizy Swamp Nature Park. Pre-registration required. Call 706-828-2109 or visit naturalsciencesacademy.org.

Diabetes Youth Support Group meets quarterly. For more information, call 706-868-3241 or visit universityhealth.org.

Yankee Doodle Dash 5K/10K is Wednesday, July 4, at 8 a.m. at the Savannah Rapids Pavilion. A fundraiser for the Wounded Warrior Project, race entry is $13. Visit active.com.

Cardiac Support Group meets three times a year. For more information on meetings, as well as for pre-registration, call 706-774-5864 or visit universityhealth.org.

Free Canal Boat Tours are available to teachers throughout the month of July, Teacher Appreciation Month. The daily tours last about an hour and depart at 9, 10:15 and 11:30 a.m., as well as 1:30 p.m. and include free admission to the Canal Interpretive Center Reservations suggested. Call 706-823-0440, ext. 4, or visit augustacanal.com.

Adult Sexual Assault and Rape Support meets for group counseling. For more information, call 706-724-5200 or visit universityhealth.org. Narcotics Anonymous, sponsored by Trinity Hospital of Augusta, meets Fridays and Sundays at 7:30 p.m. Call 706-855-2419 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. AA meets every Sunday and Wednesday at 7:15 p.m. at Aiken Regional Medical Center (Aurora Pavilion), and features an open discussion. Call 800-322-8322 or visit aikenregional.com. Burn Support Group meets every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Doctors Hospital (Lori Rogers Nursing Library, JMS Building). All burn survivors, and their families and friends are welcome. Call Tim Dorn at 706-651-6660 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Moms Connection, a free support group for new mothers and their babies, meets Tuesdays from 1-2 p.m. at Georgia Health Sciences Building 1010C. Call 706-721-9351 or visit georgiahealth.org.

24 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Aimee Copeland’s condition at Doctors Hospital has been upgraded from serious to good, but she still has a long way to go in order to recover from necrotizing fasciitis. Help her and her family this Saturday, June 30, at 8 a.m., at the Savannah Rapids Pavilion by participating in the Run for Aimee 5K Run/Walk. The proceeds from the $25 entry fee will go toward her medical expenses. Visit active.com. Sports-Outdoors

The Augusta GreenJackets play the Asheville Tourists on Thursday, June 28, at 7:05 p.m.; the Savannah Sand Gnats on Friday-Saturday, June

Wii Bowling for Adults is every Monday in July at 6 p.m. at the Columbia County Library. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. BlazeSports Swim Team, for all ages of physically challenged swimmers who want to train for competition, meets at the Wilson Family Y. $35 a month, members; $50 a month, non-members. Pre-registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. Wheelchair Tennis is each Monday at 6 p.m., weather permitting, at the Club at Rae’s Creek. Free and open to the public. Call 706-826-5809 or visit alsalley@wrh.org. Augusta Canal Boat Tours lasting one hour are offered Monday-Saturday at 10 a.m., 11:30 a.m., 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m., and Sunday at 1:30, 3 and 4:30 p.m. All tours include admission to the Augusta Canal Interpretive Center.

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Call 706-823-0440 or visit augustacanal.com. The Augusta Fencers Club is open five nights a week from 5:30-9 p.m. and most Saturday mornings from 10 a.m.-noon. Visitors always welcome. Call 706-722-8878. Thursday Night Chain Reaction Ride begins at 6 p.m. each Thursday at Patriots Park in Grovetown. For intermediate to fast-paced cyclists, who average 25-32 miles. Participants should bring their own water and helmet. Call 706-855-2024 or visit chainreactionbicycles.net. Riverview Disc Golf League meets each Thursday at 6 p.m. at Riverview Park in North Augusta. $5 entry fee and $1 ace pool. Call 803-215-8181 or visit augustadiscgolf.com. Road Bike Ride meets each Thursday at 6:30 p.m. at Andy Jordan’s Bicycle Warehouse downtown for an approximately 25-mile ride at a moderate to fast pace. Front and rear lights, as well as a helmet, are required. Call 706-724-6777 or visit andyjordans.com. Guided Trail Rides at Hilltop Riding Stables at Fort Gordon are available Saturdays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m., noon, 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m.; Sundays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m. and noon; and Wednesday-Friday at 11 a.m. with reservations 24 hours in advance. All trail rides are on a first-come, firstserved basis, and participants should arrive 30 minutes prior to the trail ride starting for sign in procedures. $23-$30. Call 706-791-4864 or visit fortgordon.com. Zumba with Sohailla is every Saturday from 10-11 a.m. at the Ballroom Dance Center in Evans. Call 706-421-6168 or visit zumbawithsohailla. blogspot.com. Saturday Historic Trolley Tours are Saturdays from 1:30-3:15 p.m. at the Augusta Museum of History. Reservations required 24 hours in advance. $12. Call 706-724-4067 or visit augustamuseum.org. Lakeside Rideouts at Hilltop Riding Stables at Fort Gordon are each Sunday beginning at 1:30 p.m. on a first-come, first-served basis. The ride, which begins at 2 p.m., is a two-hour guided ride to Wilkerson Lake. $45-$50. Call 706-791-4864 or visit fortgordon.com. Yoga Class at Euchee Creek Branch Library meets every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. Pre-registration required. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. Weekly Group Runs include the Monday Metro Run meeting at Metro Coffeehouse at 6 p.m.; Monday Intervals meeting at the Family Y track on

DECLASSIFIED BIKE RENTALS

Want to buy

S A L E S & R E PA I R

SAVANNAH RAPIDS PARK SAT:10-dusk / SUN:11-dusk

Wheeler Road at 7 p.m.; the Tuesday Nacho Mama’s Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday’s Blanchard Woods Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday Stay in Shape Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday’s Post Office Hill Training Run at 7 p.m.; Thursday’s Homer Hustle at 6 p.m.; and Saturday’s Stay in Shape Run at 8 a.m. For more information, visit augustastriders.com. Kroc Trotters Running Group meets Tuesdays at 6:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Free for members. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Hott Shott Disc Golf is each Wednesday at 7 p.m. at Killer B Disc Golf, 863 Broad Street, and features games and prizes for all ages and skill levels. $2. Call 706-814-7514 or visit killerbdiscgolf.blogspot.com/p/hott-shott.

Kids

Safe Sitter, a babysitting instructional program for those ages 11-13, is Thursday, June 28, from 9 a.m.-4 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Preregistration required. Call 706-651-4343 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Honey Bees, a special story time, is Thursday, June 28, at 10 a.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Jazz 4 Kids, featuring the book “This Jazz Man,” is Thursday, June 28 at 10 a.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org.

Young Adult Karaoke Contest is Thursday, June 28, at 4 p.m. at the Harlem Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org. Knit Wits, a young adult program, is Thursday, June 28, at 4 p.m. at the Aiken Public Library. Call 706-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org. Therapy Dogs Program is Friday, June 29, at 10 a.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. All-Ages Talent Show is Friday, June 29, at 3 p.m. at the Nancy Carson Library in North Augusta. Call 803-279-5767 or visit abbe-lib.org.

Massage Room for Rent.

Gorgeous newly renovated, 10 room massage practice. located across Lady A Amphitheatre (Evans)

for details: 706.651.0202 ashley@gatherapeuticmassage.com

WEEKEND BIRTHDAY CAMPER PARTIES! RENTALS Charter the PATRIOT BOAT for a at the LAKE. 2TOUR hr cruise for your

Mow, Trim, Fertilize, Tree Work, Hauling, etc.

Birthday!

A/C, RESTROOMS SET UP & CLEAN UP PROVIDED!

Kroc Tots Activity Hour, featuring story time, crafts and more, is every Friday at 9 a.m. at the Kroc Center. Free, members; $1, non-members. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Digistar Virtual Journey shows Saturdays in June at 8 p.m. and More Than Meets the Eye shows Saturdays in June at 9 p.m. at the DuPont Planetarium in Aiken. Digistar shows are $5.50, adults; $4.50, seniors; $3.50, 4K-12the grade students; $1, USC-A students, faculty and staff. General shows are $4.50, adults; $3.50, seniors; $2.50, 4K-12th grade students; and $1, USC-A students, faculty and staff. Call 803-641-3654 or visit http://rpsec.usca.edu/planetarium.

Ceramics Class, for ages 14 and up, meets Mondays at 9 a.m. or 6 p.m., Tuesdays at 6 p.m., and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. in the Weeks Ceramics Center. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Toddler Time, free play for children ages 5 and under, is each Monday and Wednesday from 9:30-11:30 a.m. at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Wacky Wednesday Story Time is each Wednesday at 10 a.m. in the children’s department of Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall. Call 706737-0012 or visit bn.com.

Volunteers

803.730.9739

The Morris Museum of Art is currently accepting applications for the 2012 new docent class for the 12-session training program that begins in September. Candidates must commit to one year of service following the training and no prior experience is required. Call 706-828-3865 for more information and an application. Visit themorris.org.

KRIS FISHER

If you would like to see your organization’s events listed in our calendar, please email Amy Christian at amy@ themetrospirit.com. The deadline for each Thursday’s issue is the previous Friday at noon.

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Great References and Prices.

Call for a free quote today!

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All declassified ads are Cash in Advance (credit card payment required) and are $40 per week. Visit metrospirit.com to place your ad in minutes. 28JUNE2012

Storytime at HQ with Helen Blocker Adams is Thursday, July 5, at 10 a.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Zumbatonic, a Zumba class for kids, meets Wednesdays at 4:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

35 Years Experience

therapeutic massage

SRP Movie shows Tuesday, July 3, at 10 a.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org.

Scholarships available for the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Arts Summer Arts Camps on July 9-13 and July 16-23. Open to children ages 5-11, full and partial tuition scholarship are available, and those interested can call or visit the GHIA to request a scholarship application. Call 706-722-5495 or visit ghia.org.

All Yard Work

georgia

Sock Puppet Mania is a program for those ages 6-12 at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library on Monday, July 2, at 2 p.m. in which participants will view “The Lady from Sockholm, a feature film with an all sock puppet cast, and make their own puppets. Participants should bring their own socks. Pre-registration required for groups of six or more. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org.

MarioKart, a competition for those ages 10-16, is Thursday, June 28, at 3 p.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org.

706.466.3027

BY THE HEAD GATES

Learn to Draw Manga, a workshop for those ages 10-18, is Saturday, June 30, from 2-4 p.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org.

Craft Workshop for ages 5-8 is Thursday, July 5, at 11 a.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org.

CALL FOR RATES AND AVAILABILITY

THE BICYCLE PEDDLER

Making Basketball Hoops, a Lowe’s kids workshop, is Saturday, June 30, at 2 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Wish Upon a Star, a story time for those ages 2-8, is Thursday, June 28, at 10 a.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org.

FRIDAY - MONDAY

706.373.4519

Art at the Kroc Family Night is Friday, June 29, from 6:30-9:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. $10 for a family of four, with $2 per person for each over four. Pre-registration required. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

706.399.4209 | kfish@rocketmail.com

DJKFISH.COM (actual size) 1.5” x 1.9” Tall $40 per week AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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BOX TOPS

The box office is dominated by a bunch of magical creatures... including our 16th president. RANK

TITLE

WEEKEND GROSS

TOTAL GROSS

WEEK #

LAST WEEK

BRAVE

$66,323,594

MADAGASCAR 3

$19,712,315

$157,086,037

ABRAHAM LINCOLN...

$16,306,974

PROMETHEUS

$9,905,670

$108,452,350

SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN

$8,085,630

$137,128,350

“Seeking a Friend for the End of the World”

SAMEIFLING

Some laughs to be had in a movie that doesn’t know what it wants to be The dinner party three weeks from planetary apocalypse — that’s when you realize things truly have gone sideways in “Seeking a Friend for the End of the World.” Folks are talking about whom to tell off in those last few, precious days before an asteroid strikes and wipes out all the things. Dads are feeding martinis to children and admonishing them to “fight through the burn.” Oh, hey! Someone brought heroin! So the dental assistant shows how to tie off and cook up. Sobriety and monogamy are early casualties of doomsday. As one too-kissy wife explains, “Nobody is anybody’s anything anymore.” The only person really struggling with all this forced hedonism is Dodge, an insurance-company mope inhabited by Steve Carell. He’s packing an existential crisis and midlife crisis into a few bad weeks and an argyle sweater. After his wife ran out on him — literally sprinted, once they heard the news that the NASA mission to divert the asteroid had failed — he kept his old routines intact. Work, commute, home. But as the world unravels further, he crosses paths with a cheery, spacey Brit named Penny who lives in his building and hopes to find a plane she can catch across the pond. This is Keira Knightley, more than 20 years younger than Carell, completing the odd-couple for what amounts to a somewhat dark, somewhat romantic, somewhat comedy that seems to flow only episodically. “Seeking a Friend” never quite decides what it is, so what’s left is very much up to the audience to decide. It’s either bravely clunky or oddly pleasant or a missed chance at something sublime, if not all three. Some props are due to writer and first-time director Lorene Scafaria for at least wringing some chuckles out of the disaster premise. She sets up four competing tensions for this short-timer world. The first is the obvious; when everyone knows they’re going to die, there’s an uptick in suicides and desperation sex and a decline in timely mail service. But Dodge, ever the office drone, exemplifies another camp of people whose denial holds civilization in some kind of order. His housekeeper insists on returning diligently, and elsewhere the good people of the world continue mowing their grass. This allows for the Dodge-Penny last-minute companionship to unfold with a degree of strained normalcy and getting-to-know-you chitchat. Meanwhile, though, it’s hard to believe that most of the houses in the film haven’t been burned to the

26 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

ground by roving hordes of rapist-Huns. Instead, the lights in the fridge work and there’s a noticeable lack of dog-gnawed corpses strewn around the yard. This is an apocalypse Scafaria doodled on a happy birthday napkin while the “Garden State” soundtrack piped through earbuds. Not every end-of-the-world tale has to be “The Road,” of course, but “Seeking a Friend” ought to have decided earlier just how it was going to balance the minor-key tone with its attempts at screwball humor. Those are, surprisingly, some of the funnier bits in the movie; a pit stop at a family restaurant called Friendsy’s (delightful to say aloud) where the bubbly staff has decided to greet the end of the days high out of their minds. Aside from the sporadic laughs, the film is at its best in raising, if not ably answering, the questions around what how to spend those last few days on the planet. Whom would you visit? Would they want to spend their last hours with you? Family comes first, but there’s a value and a hope in strays adopting one another in those closing moments. It’s last call, and if you find yourself kicking it with Keira Knightley just before the world gets exploded, you might as well consider yourself lucky.

28JUNE2012

OPENING FRIDAY, JUNE 29

COMEDY

“Magic Mike,” rated R, starring Channing Tatum, Olivia Munn, Matthew McConaughey, Joe Manganiello, Matt Bomer. This movie, about a bunch of male strippers, is reportedly based on one of the jobs Channing Tatum held before becoming an actor. Not surprising at all. What is surprising is that this big block of cheese is directed by Steven Soderbergh (“Sex, Lies and Videotape” and “Out of Sight”). How that even happened is beyond us. “Madea’s Witness Protection,” rated PG-13, starring Tyler Perry, Eugene Levy, Denise Richards and Tom Arnold. It’s amazing how many movies Tyler Perry can crank out in such a short amount of time. And apparently Eugene Levy will accept any script that lands on his desk. “Ted,” rated R, starring Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Seth MacFarlane, Joel McHale. Imagine if your childhood teddy bear came to life and followed you into adulthood… with Peter Griffin’s annoying voice. Yeah, that’s what this is about. It’s nice to see Wahlberg take a break from serious roles, but drinking, smoking pot and annoying his girlfriend with the “Family Guy” creator might get real old, real quick… no matter how many times the commercials try to make you believe that critics think this is “one of the funniest comedies of all time.”

“Saving Grace”

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My mom has been squatting at my place for more than a year while her own house is renovated, so I share my Netflix account with her. Two different generations can have two different tastes, so finding a movie that we equally like can be a tough job. My sister Beth, who lives in Charlotte, suggests movies for our cue that she thinks we would both enjoy. Last week, we got “Saving Grace,” a 2000 U.K. movie staring Brenda Blethyn as Grace and Craig Ferguson as Matthew. It’s a comedy, which I almost always enjoy, but typical Beth — she loves British films. I was hoping this would be one I would also like, and not something

hokey. I found some of the plot keywords online… plant, greenhouse, small town and gardener — sounds like a good movie for Mom, too. But marijuana and drug dealing— those are some keywords that didn’t seem to fit into a movie with your mom. What a surprise — we both loved it! In the movie, Grace discovers after her husband’s suicide that he has mortgaged everything they own and the banks are ready to foreclose. Grace has to scale back — fire her gardener Matthew, who she’s close to, and find a job herself. A dead husband, a huge mortgage and no working experience — that’s pretty tough for anybody to swallow all at once. Matthew has his own troubles. He wants to marry his girlfriend, but doesn’t have the money he needs. So he’s taken his good gardening skills to another level. He suggests that Grace use her greenhouse to help him grow marijuana plants. They can sell them and split the profit for the money they both need. Maybe those Brits aren’t as stuffy as you might think! — Laura Perry

THE8ERS Movie times are subject to change.

The Big Mo

Gates open at 7 p.m.; shows begin at 8:30 p.m. (approximately)

June 29-30 Field 1: Brave (PG) and Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted (PG); Field 2: Madea’s Witness Protection (PG-13) and Men in Black III (PG-13); Field 3: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (R) and Prometheus (R).

Masters 7 Cinemas June 29-30 Chernobyl Diaries (R) 12:45, 5:15, 10; Crooked Arrows (PG-13) 12:30, 2:50, 5, 7:15, 9:30; Dark Shadows (PG-13) 1:45, 4:30, 7:15, 9:50; The Pirates! Band of Misfits (PG) 12:30, 2:40, 4:45, 7:30; The Raven (R) 6:45, 9:40; The Lucky One (PG-13) 3, 7:45; Think Like a Man (PG-13) 1:15, 4, 7, 9:40; The Cabin in the Woods (R) 1, 3:10, 5:30, 7:45, 10; Mirror Mirror (PG) 1:30, 4:15; 21 Jump Street (R) 9:50

Evans Cinemas June 29-30 Magic Mike (R) 1:05, 4:10, 7:10, 9:50; People Like Us (PG-13) 12:55, 4:10, 7:05, 9:40; Ted (R) noon, 2:30, 5, 7:30, 10:05; Madea’s Witness Protection (PG-13) 12:10, 1:15, 2:50, 4:20, 5:30, 7:20, 8:15, 9:10, 10; Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (R) noon, 2:30, 5, 7:35, 10:05; Brave (PG) noon, 12:40, 1:30, 2:20, 3, 4, 4:40, 5:20, 6:30, 7, 7:40, 9:20, 10; Seeking a Friend for the End of the World (R) 4:35, 9:55; Rock of Ages (PG-13) 3:50, 6:50, 9:45; Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted (PG) 12:20, 12:50, 2:40, 5:10, 7:25, 9:45; Prometheus (R) 1:50, 6:55; Snow White and the Huntsman 28JUNE2012

(PG-13) 12:40, 3:40, 6:40, 9:35; The Avengers (PG-13) 1:40, 4:50, 8

Regal Exchange 20

June 29-30 Magic Mike (R) 11:40, 2:20, 4:50, 7:30, 10:10, 12:40; People Like Us (PG-13) 11:10, 1:50, 4:30, 7:10, 9:50, 12:30; Ted (R) 11:45, 12:15, 2:15, 2:45, 4:45, 5:15, 7:15, 7:45, 9:45, 10:15, 12:15, 12:45; Madea’s Witness Protection (PG-13) 11:05, 11:25, 11:45, 1:45, 2:05, 2:25, 4:25, 4:45, 5:05, 7:05, 7:25, 7:45, 9:45, 10:05, 10:25, 12:25, 12:45; Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (R) 11:45, 2:15, 4:55, 7:35, 10:05, 12:35; Brave (PG) 11:20, 11:40, 12:45, 1:50, 2:10, 3:10, 4:30, 4:50, 5:35, 7:10, 7:30, 9:40, 10, 10:30, 12:10, 12:30; Seeking a Friend for the End of the World (R) 11:30, 2, 4:35, 7:15, 9:50, 12:20; Rock of Ages (PG-13) 11:25, 2:05, 4:50, 7:30, 10:10, 12:50; That’s My Boy (R) 4:25, 7:05, 12:25; Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted (PG) 12:35, 1:05, 2:55, 3:25, 5:15, 5:45, 7:45, 8:05, 10:05, 10:25, 12:25; Prometheus (R) 1, 4, 7, 10, 12:45; Snow White and the Huntsman (PG-13) 1:45, 4:50, 7:50,10:50; Men in Black III (PG13) 1:35, 9:45; Moonrise Kingdom (PG-13) 12:30, 3:05, 5:40, 8:20, 10:50; The Avengers (PG-13) 1:35, 4:40, 7:45, 10:50

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red, white & the Blue. burgers & BBq. rock n roll too.

Inventory Clearance Going on Now! Come In For

DEEP

Discounts!

4020 Washington Rd, Augusta, GA

706.738.1651

Portmansmusic.com

we love the

uS of a!

4TH OF JULY KICKOFF s *!3/. 7()4% s -!44 !#/34! s -)#(!%, 0!44%23/. "!.$ s ")' " 4(% 34).'%23

STOP IN FOR DINNER AND STICK AROUND FOR OUR LATE NIGHT LIVE MUSIC!

19K@AF?LGF ,< c 1#& www.wildwingcafe.com METROSPIRIT AUGUSTAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Allyson North, Tammie Newman and Erica Hartley at the Trailer Trash Party at Bar on Broad.

SIGHTINGS

Megan Brown, Hope Key, Sarah Boyett and Katie Silarek at the American Cancer Society’s Augusta Bachelor Auction at the Partridge Inn.

Dan Preston, Brier Hazell, David Odiorne and Gen Bougades at Midtown Lounge.

SIGHTINGS

Courtney Lindsey, bachelor Walker Posey, Community Manager Rachel Winn and Kyndall Mckemie at the American Cancer Society’s Augusta Bachelor Auction at the Partridge Inn.

Lynnsey Gardner, bachelor Jonathan Davis and Paige Tucker at the American Cancer Society’s Augusta Bachelor Auction at the Partridge Inn.

SIGHTINGS

President Travis Jenkins, Mr. Augusta Pride 2012 Prince William, singer/songwriter Tom Goss and Isaac Kelly at the Augusta Pride Festival at the Augusta Common.

28JUNE2012

Miss Augusta Pride 2012 Sasha Greene, Sky Gortney and Miss Augusta2fem 2012 at the Augusta Pride Festival at the Augusta Common.

Amber Crumley, bachelor Justin Astroth and Ann Lunceford at the American Cancer Society’s Augusta Bachelor Auction at the Partridge Inn.

Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Shannon Swint, Kiesha Maharaj, Rashawn Dean and Lia Lewis at the Augusta Pride Festival at the Augusta Common.

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IN MUSIC

Little Bar, Big Sound

It goes without saying that downtown Augusta has the best music scene in the CSRA. That’s just plain and simple. From the same bands that play every week to the national rock acts to unknown hidden talents, you never know what you’re going to find on Broad Street. This does include homeless people and prostitutes; didn’t want to leave anything out. While some bars like The Loft, Sky City and 1102 Downtown Bar and Grill have a big room for music, there are a lot of bars that you think wouldn’t be able to fit full bands. Well, I was proven wrong again this past weekend at Stillwater. Thanks to the powers of Facebook, I caught eye of a video of the band that was performing Friday night. After watching the video and being very impressed, two thoughts came to mind: this band is awesome and there’s no way that they are going to fit inside Stillwater. Blair Crimmons and The Hookers is a six-piece band including a trombone, trumpet, clarinet, stand-up bass, full drum set and lead singer/banjo player. Now that’s a lot of music put onto a 10 by 10 foot stage, and I think I’m being generous. One of the best things about Stillwater not being big is that the sound is huge. These six musicians blew the crowd away, in a good way. My highlight of the night was when the lead singer was singing through a megaphone. Not quite Scott Weiland singing, but it came off nicely. I remember ordering a drink from Adrian, one of the bartenders, and her saying, “Wow, I’m already yelling at 9.” Besides yelling for a drink, the music experience at Stillwater was awesome. Whether it’s an acoustic set or a six-piece band, the stage at Stillwater is packed with tons of musical talent each week. I highly recommend it. Some great shows are coming and one I was looking forward to was Those Darlins at Sky City on Saturday, July 7. The reason I say “was” is because I’m going to be out of town. But I would put it on my to-do list if I were you. Those Darlins go on 11:30 p.m., but don’t miss the opener, Baby Baby, at 10. Let’s get to some national news. Former punk band Green Day has revealed that “Oh Love” will be the first single released from their upcoming album trilogy ¡UNO! ¡DOS! ¡TRÉ! You can download it for yourself on July 16 and it will be the first taste of Green Day’s enormous project. I’m excited for a new Green Day album, but three albums? ¡UNO! will be released September 25, with ¡DOS! following on November 23 and ¡TRÉ! on January 15, 2013. I guess when you’ve made as much money as Green Day you can do what you want. New releases in store this week. Linkin Park released “Living Things” and Offspring released “Days Go By.” In these cases, Linkin Park is good now, and Offspring still sounds like they’re in the ’90s. That’s not a complaint. R. Kelly also put out a new album. I’m not sure if he sings tales about urinating on people or not, but it’s at least worth investigating. And last, a lesson to all businesses: you have to get the approval from artists before you use their songs in your ads. And for breaking that rule, The Black Keys are suing Home Depot and Pizza Hut. It seems the Black Keys weren’t thinking about power tools and cheesy bread when they were writing their latest album, “El Camino.” What shows are coming to Augusta that would blow people away? Who nationally is making moves in your CD player and not on the charts? Those are the bands I want to know about. Email me at matt@ themetrospirit.com.

MATTSTONE can be heard weekdays from 2-6 p.m. on 95 Rock. 34 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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Thursday, June 28 Live Music French Market Grille West - Doc Easton Smooth Jazz Joe’s Underground - Ruskin Lady Antebellum Pavilion - The Newsboys Concert Malibu Jack’s - Granny’s Gin Maude Edenfield Park - Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Live and Local O Lounge - Jazmine Soul Band Red Pepper Cafe - Funk/Fusion Jazz Somewhere in Augusta - Country Line Surrey Tavern - Sibling String Travinia’s - Smooth Jazz Wild Wing - Matt Acosta The Willcox - Classic Jazz

What’s Tonight? Casa Blanca - Thursday Tango Club Argos - Karaoke Cocktails Lounge - Karaoke Coyote’s - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Fox’s Lair - Soup, Suds & Conversations Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Highlander - Butt Naked Trivia The Library - DJ Kris Fisher The Loft - Karaoke The Playground - Open Mic Malibu Jack’s - Sports Trivia with Mike Thomas Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Evans) - Karaoke The Playground - Open Mic with Brandy Shannon’s - Karaoke Sky City - Open Mic Night Soul Bar - Boom Box Dance Party Villa Europa - Karaoke Wooden Barrel - ’80s Night Karaoke

Friday, June 29 Live Music 1102 - The Suex Effect Augusta Moonlight Music Cruise - Terry & Jordan Carolina Ale House - Jim Perkins Columbia County Amphitheatre - Jaqueline Perkins, Maria Potter, Big B., Christina Berkshire, Jeff Mathews, Elodie Aurora, Wendy Cleveland, Donald Peardon, Braxton Berry, Pyroteque Cotton Patch - John Kolbeck Country Club - John Karl The First Round - The Threads Fox’s Lair - Roger Enevoldsen French Market Grille West - Doc Easton The Highlander - Angwish James Brown Arena - Fresh Music Festival w/ Keith Sweat, Doug E. Fresh, Guy, SWV, K-Ci, & JoJo Joe’s Underground - The Hollerers Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Granny’s Gin The Loft - Roshambeaux 28JUNE2012

PI Bar & Grill - Jazz Duo Pizza Joint (Evans) - Summer Jam Music Sessions Sky City - The Ramblin’ Fevers, The Shoal Creek Stranglers, The Lilies and Sparrows Somewhere In Augusta - Connor Pledger Surrey Tavern - Tony Williams and the Blues Express Wild Wing - Michael Patterson Band

Fresh Music Festival, hosted by Doug E Fresh and featuring Keith Sweat (shown above), K-Ci & JoJo, SWV and Guy, is Friday, June 29, at 8 p.m. at the James Brown Arena. $41-$67. Call 877-4AUGTIX or visit georgialinatix.com.

What’s Tonight? Club Argos - Augusta Pride Caberet Cocktails Lounge - Grown-Up Fridays with DJ Cork and Bull Pub - Karaoke Eagle’s Nest - Free Salsa Lessons; Latin Dance Party First Round - DJ Kris Fisher Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Iron Horse Bar & Grill - Karaoke The Library - Foamed Out Friday Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke with Ryan Moseley Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke with Jeff Barnes Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Three J’s Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke Palmetto Tavern - DJ Tim Rebeck’s Hideaway - Open Mic Roadrunner Cafe - Karaoke with Steve Chappel Soul Bar - 90’s Night Wheels - Live DJ Wooden Barrel - Karaoke Contest

Saturday, June 30 Live Music The Acoustic Coffeehouse - Open Acoustic Jam Session with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Club Argos - Augusta Pride After Party Cotton Patch - Riley Williams Country Club - Brother Trouble Coyote’s- Jeremy Graham Band Fox’s Lair - Jerod Gay Joe’s Underground - Happy Bones Midtown Lounge - Christie Lenee P.I. Bar and Grill - Not Gaddy Jazz with Pam Bowman Somewhere In Augusta - Fried Goat Surrey Tavern - Simplified Wild Wing - Big B & The Stingers

What’s Tonight? Club Argos - Variety Show Cocktails Lounge - Latin Night Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Fox’s Lair - Karaoke Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Loft - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke with Rockin Rob Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Karaoke with Danny Haywood Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke

One Hundred Laurens - DJ Kenny Ray Robbie’s - Saturday Night Dance Party Soul Bar - Soultopia Wheels - Live DJ Wooden Barrel - Kamikaze Karaoke

Sunday, July 1 Live Music 5 O’Clock Bistro - Buzz and Candice (brunch) 8th Street Riverfront Stage - Candlelight Jazz w/ Calvin “Big Bopper” Edwards The Cotton Patch - Keith Gregory (brunch) Patridge Inn - Sunday Evening Jazz w/ the Not Gaddy Jazz Trio The Willcox - Jazz Jam Session

Applebee’s (Evans) - Trivia Club Argos - Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - Trivia with Mike Thomas Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Trivia with Mike Thomas Somewhere In Augusta - Poker Tournaments Wild Wing - Trivia

Tuesday, July 3 Live Music The Highlander - Open Mic Night Joe’s Underground - Happy Bones The Willcox - Piano Jazz

What’s Tonight?

Caribbean Soul - Love Jones Sundays Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke with Mike Swift Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke, Salsa Dancing Shannon’s - Karaoke with Peggy Gardner

Club Argos - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Dart League Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke with Denny Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Trivia The Playground - Truly Twisted Trivia with Big Troy Shannon’s - Karaoke with Mike Johnson Somewhere In Augusta - Big Prize Trivia

Monday, July 2 Live Music

Wednesday, July 4 Live Music

Hopelands Gardens - Parris Island Marine Corps Band Shannon’s - Open Mic Night

Joe’s Underground - Kathleen Turner Overdrive Malibu Jack’s - Granny’s Gin Sector 7G - Crucial Dudes, Fera, Panic Manor, Dead End Sons, DreamEater, Varuna

What’s Tonight?

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What’s Tonight? Club Argos - Santoni’s Satin Dolls Cocktails Lounge - Augusta’s Got Talent Cotton Patch - Trivia and Tunes Hotel Aiken - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane

Cameras, Guns & Radios - The First Round August 3 Wayne Capps - Augusta Moonlight Music Cruise September 7

Elsewhere Def Leppard, Poison - Aaron’s Amphitheatre at

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

Every 10,000 years or so, reports the Weekly World News, hell actually does freeze over. A rare storm brings a massive amount of snow and ice to the infernal regions, and even the Lake of Fire looks like a glacier. “Satan himself was seen wearing earmuffs and making a snowman,” the story says about the last time it happened. I foresee a hell-freezesover type of event happening for you in the coming months — and I mean that in a good way. The seemingly impossible will become possible; what’s lost will be found and what’s bent will be made straight; the lion will lie down not only with the lamb but also with the sasquatch. Be ready to shed your expectations at a moment’s notice.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

Newsboys (shown above), with opening act The Rhett Walker Band, play a Christian concert on Thursday, June 28, at Evans Towne Center Park, with gates open at 5 p.m. and music beginning at 6 p.m. $18, advance; $20, gate. Visit evanstownecenterpark.com.

The Loft - Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - DJ Mike Swift Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke with Rockin’ Rob The Playground - Krazy Karaoke with Big Troy Polo Tavern - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell

Upcoming Villanova Junction Band - Joe’s UndergroundJuly 5 Swamps, Narratives, Discourse, Hate Your Guts, Distrust, Convuluted, Coastlines, Akira - Sector 7G July 5 John Berret’s LaRoxes - 1102 July 6 Jim Perkins - Carolina Ale House July 6 Molly Hall, Larry Reid, Desiree Green, Emery Lee Columbia County Ampitheatre July 6 Old Man Crazy - Cotton Patch July 6 Cole Taylor - Country Club July 6 Those Darlins, Baby Baby - Sky City July 7 The Tams, Swinginn Medallions & Drifters Concert Lady Antebellum Pavillion July 13 Split Rail- Maude Edenfield Park July 12 Betsy Franck - Surrey Tavern July 12 Concrete Jumpsuit - Surrey Tavern - July 19 Hot Rod Walt and the Psycho-DeVilles - The Loft July 20 Cosmic Charlie (Grateful Dead Tribute) - Surrey Tavern July 20 The Welfare Liners - Stillwater Taproom July 27 Machine Funk (Widespread Tribute) - Surrey Tavern - July 27-28 The Southern Meltdown Band - Laura’s Backyard Tavern June 29 John Berret’s LaRoxes - Iron Horse Bar and Grill July 22 John Berret’s LaRoxes - 1102 July 27 36 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Lakewood, Atlanta June 29 Jill Soctt’s Summer Block Party w/ Kem and DJ Jazzy Jeff - Chastain Park, Atlanta June 30 Sarah McLachlan - Chastain Park, Atlanta July 3 Flo Rida - Convention Center at Gwinnett Center, Duluth July 5 Jim Perkins - The Terrapin Brewery July 5 Ringo Starr and His All Starr Band - Fox Theatre, Atlanta July 6 Collective Soul - Tabernacle, Atlanta July 7 Summerland: Everclear, Sugar Ray, Gin Blossoms, Lit, Marcy Playground - Chastain Park, Atlanta July 13 Mayhem Festival w/ Anthrax, Motorhead, Slayer, Slipknot, High on Fire, As I Lay Dying, the Devil Wears Prada and more - Aaron’s Amphitheatre at Lakewood, Atlanta July 14 Perpetual Groove - Georgia Theatre, Athens July 14 Sleigh Bells, Jel - Center Stage, Atlanta July 16 Neko Case, Kelly Hogan - Atlanta Botanical Garden July 20 B-52s - Fox Theatre, Atlanta July 21 Nicki Minaj - Fox Theatre, Atlanta July 22 KISS, Motley Crue - Aaron’s Amphitheatre at Lakewood, Atlanta July 24 Chicago, Doobie Brothers - Chastain Park, Atlanta July 24 Joe Cocker, Huey Lewis and the News - Chastain Park, Atlanta July 25 Aerosmith, Cheap Trick - Philips Arena, Atlanta July 26 Alison Krauss, Union Station - Classic Center, Athens July 27 Fresh Music Festival w/ Keith Sweat, K-Ci, Jo-Jo Savannah Civic Center, Savannah July 27 Seal, Macy Gray - Chastain Park, Atlanta July 28 Yes - Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre, Alpharetta July 31 Pitbull - Chastain Park, Atlanta July 31

“In purely spiritual matters, God grants all desires,” said philosopher and activist Simone Weil. “Those who have less have asked for less.” This is a worthy hypothesis for you to try out in the next nine months. It doesn’t necessarily mean you will get a dream job and perfect lover and ten million dollars. What it does suggest is you can have any relationship with the Divine Wow that you dare to imagine; you can get all the grace you need to understand why your life is the way it is; you can make tremendous progress as you do the life-long work of liberating yourself from your suffering.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

A plain old ordinary leap of faith might not be ambitious enough for you in the coming months. Your potential is more robust than that, more primed for audacity. How would you feel about attempting a quantum leap of faith, a soaring pirouette that sends you flying over the nagging obstacle and up onto higher ground, where the views are breathtakingly vast instead of gruntingly half-vast?

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

“If I had my life to live over,” said Nadine Stair at age 85, “I would perhaps have more actual problems, but I’d have fewer imaginary ones.” Write out that quote and keep it close to you for the next six months. Your task will be to train yourself so you can expertly distinguish actual problems from imaginary ones. Part of your work, of course, will be to get in the habit of immediately ejecting any of the imaginary kind the moment you notice them creeping up on you.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Astronomer Percival Lowell (1855-1916) was instrumental in laying the groundwork that led to the discovery of Pluto. He was a visionary pioneer who helped change our conception of the solar system. But he also put forth a wacky notion or two: He declared, against a great deal of contrary evidence, that the planet Mars was laced with canals. You have the potential be a bit like him in the coming months: mostly a wellspring of innovation but sometimes a source of errant theories. What can you do to ensure that the errant theories have minimal effect?

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

Throughout the 16th century and even beyond, European explorers trekked through the New World hunting for the mythical land of El Dorado: the Lost City of Gold. The precious metal was supposedly so abundant there that it was even used to make children’s toys. The quest was ultimately futile, although it led the explorers to stumble upon lesser treasures of practical value — the potato, for example. After being brought over to Europe from South America, it became a staple food. You may not locate the gold, but you’ll find the equivalent of the potato.

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

“The dream which is not fed with dream disappears,” said writer Antonio Porchia. These last few months, you’ve been pretty good at attending to the details of your big dreams. You’ve taken the practical approach and done the hard work. But beginning any moment, it will be time for you to refresh your big dreams with an infusion of fantasies and brainstorms. You need to return to the source of your excitement and feed it, feed it, feed it.

If you play solitaire, your luck will be crazy strong in the coming weeks. If you have candid, wide-ranging talks with yourself in the mirror, the revelations are likely to be as interesting as if you had spoken directly with the river god or the angel of the sunrise. Taking long walks alone could lead to useful surprises, and so would crafting a new declaration of independence for yourself. I’m not advising you to be isolated and lonely, merely emphasizing the point that you’re due for some breakthroughs in your relationship with yourself.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Chinese businessman Hu Xilin is the champion fly-killer of the world. Ever since one of the buzzing pests offended him at the dinner table back in 1997, he has made it his mission to fight back. He says he has exterminated more than 10 million of the enemy with his patented “Fly Slayer” machine. And oh by the way, his obsession has made him a millionaire. It’s possible that your story during the second half of 2012 will have elements in common with Hu Xilin’s. Is there any bad influence you could work to minimize or undo in such a way that it might ultimately earn you perks and prizes — or at least deep satisfaction?

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

From the 14th through the 18th centuries, many towns in England observed a curious custom. If a couple could prove that they had gone a year and a day without ever once being sorry they got married, the two of them would receive an award: a side of cured pork, known as a flitch of bacon. Alas, the prize was rarely claimed. If this practice were still in effect, you would have an elevated chance of bringing home the bacon in the coming months. Your ability to create harmony and mutual respect in an intimate relationship will be much higher than usual.

Are you in possession of a talent, interest, inclination or desire that no one else has? Is there some unique way you express what it means to be human? The coming months will be your time to cultivate this specialty with unprecedented intensity; it’ll be a window of opportunity to be more practical than ever before in making your signature mark on the world. Between now and your next birthday, I urge you to be persistent in celebrating the one-of-a-kind truth that is your individuality.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

“Message in a bottle” is a form of communication that has been used throughout history for serious purposes. England’s Queen Elizabeth I even appointed an official “Uncorker of Ocean Bottles.” And as recently as 2005, it saved the lives of 88 refugees adrift in the Caribbean Sea. Glass, it turns out, is an excellent container for carrying sea-born dispatches. I nominate “message in a bottle” to be your metaphor for the rest of 2012. Create a message you’d like to send to the person you will be in five years, perhaps a declaration of what your highest aspirations will be between now and then. Write it on paper and stash it in a bottle. Store this time capsule in a place you won’t forget, and open it in 2017.

ROBBREZSNY FREEWILLASTROLOGY@FREEWILLASTROLOGY.COM 28JUNE2012

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38 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

28JUNE2012

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ART 45

VALERIEEMERICK

Healing Garden Local scout’s project benefits Walton Rehab patients

Justin Strickland, Robert Shafer and Connor Bane help Kevin Sheppard, along with his grandfather John Lathrop, complete his Eagle Scout service project at Walton Rehab. Eagle Scout Troop No. 2 is very lucky to have a young man like Kevin Wayne Sheppard among its ranks. While most 16-year-olds have probably spent a good portion of the summer down at the pool or hanging out with friends, this charitable young citizen has devoted his time working on his Eagle Scout Service Project. Sure, it’s a necessary step to receive a badge and progress as a scout, but that’s only one of the reasons why Sheppard chose to renovate and re-landscape the courtyard at Walton Rehabilitation Center. “I just like helping people,” Sheppard says with enthusiasm. “I’ll do anything to help… also, I like to do a little bit of gardening — my mom gardens, my grandfather was a farmer, there are other farmers in the family — and I thought this would help more than some other projects we had out here.” Sheppard’s project would be a daunting one for most adults, but fortunately he’s had a lot of help from family members, fellow troop mates and a local contractor (James Laird), all of whom donated time to assist, build, plant, water and whatever else was needed. The project’s scope includes tearing down the old planter boxes, building brand new ones, filling the new planters with plants, power washing the gazebo and other components in the courtyard, laying out paving stones, and painting and staining where needed. “We built the planters and put the paving stones there,” gestures Sheppard, “so that people in wheelchairs can just come right up and be able to touch and smell the plants. We’ve planted chives, basil and this mint,” he says while pulling off a leaf and demonstrating, “this mint that smells just like mint chocolate… we really want the patients to enjoy the garden and be able to touch it and smell it. We also have some tomatoes going in and peppers — hot peppers… and the other planter,” he motions to the other side of the courtyard, “that has flowers in it. We wanted a little of everything.” “What I hope to accomplish,” Sheppard continues, “mostly is to have the patients in wheelchairs, or not in wheelchairs — whatever type of injury they have — to be able to come out here and touch stuff, and garden, and maybe 28JUNE2012

want to garden when they leave and go home. And hopefully help them learn how peaceful gardening can be… most people who garden say it’s relaxing to dig in the dirt and stuff and I’m hoping people can go home and learn that it’s a fun thing to do.” In addition to his service project with the Eagle Scouts, Sheppard also does other volunteer work within the community and says that he hopes to become a special education teacher one day. “I like volunteering — even if this wasn’t an Eagle Scout project, I’d still come here and help out — I just like to help. I’m really good with people, and kids, and just everyone.”

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 39

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SPONSOR THE

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40 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

28JUNE2012

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ON THE BALL

Upended Gamecocks miss their chance at the historic three-peat, but exit with hearts held high

Well, it was only a matter of time until their avatar spirit stick ran out of mojo. And there was plenty to go around for the 2012 Gamecock baseball team. Just not any at the time when they needed it most. They ran into a pack of Wildcats who did not #FearTheFish. What a run it has been over the past three years, though; the strongest of any sport in USC history. They posted an incredible 3 to 1 win-loss ratio, but saved their most impressive performances for the postseason. The Gamecocks have won 30 games over the past three years and only lost four. That is otherworldly, by the way. And as outstanding as it is to be able to boast about postseason dominance such as that, the way the Gamecocks played their way into the championship series with such young talent is what’s most impressive. As sad as it is to see mainstays like Michael Roth, Christian Walker, Matt Price and, most likely, Evan Marzilli leave, South Carolina will return much young talent next year that at times this year looked very dazed and confused by the spotlight. Two freshmen that will be relied upon heavily next year in the field will be Tanner English and Joey Pankake. English, who was the guy the announcers kept gushing about to a nauseating level with regards to his speed, will need to make drastic improvements at the plate. While his speed is as good as it gets, it’s all he was able to rely on this year. Push bunts, and sometimes the rare base hit through the gap in the defense while they defended against small ball was where he was most dominant with the bat. Being able to get the defense to respect him hitting for average will help his nerves and confidence, and also cause his batting average to make a sizable jump. One part of English’s game that surprised most was his ability to watch some pitches and get on base via walk later in the year. He understands that he is most dangerous when on base, and it might not just matter how he gets there. Just get there. For Joey Pankake, this year was a hard-learning curve for him being thrown into the SEC at shortstop as a freshman, but he didn’t let it get the best of him and turned his main deficiency

into a commendable improvement. At times it looked as though he would be pulled for his error-prone ways earlier in the year, and add-on not being able to really hit on a regular basis will show you the bench for a Ray Tanner club any day. What Pankake did was focus on something he could fix and made his fielding a position of strength towards the end of the year. For his hitting, Pankake, will have to shorten his swing a bit and get better plate discipline to put more pressure on the pitchers who were able to pick him apart once he got into the postseason. They add that outstanding field talent to the guy who looks to attempt and pick up the slack in losing dominating lefty Michael Roth, and that is Jordan Montgomery. Montgomery shined late in the season — much in the same way Roth came to be a starter — with big spot starts when Gamecock Nation was holding their breath upon not seeing Roth or Colby Holmes on the mound. His big frame allows him the extended reach to throw overpower pitches when needed, and then swoop a breaking ball in the zone to seal the deal. For relievers, they are in good hands with righty Forrest Koumas — who might be the spot starter next year — and lefties Tyler Webb and Nolan Belcher. Webb is the breadwinner of the bunch, as he’s the only one as of yet to get banged up — Belcher has made solid progress since coming back from Tommy John surgery, and Koumas had a mid-season scare but was able to return during the College World Series for some quality innings. Whatever next season holds will come without strong leadership from those familiar leaders who are taking the next step in their careers. But they already had to face somewhat similar conditions last year, and the year before that, and they ended up making it back to the College World Series Finals, so expectations will be high.

MATTLANE is host of The Weekend Rundown which airs from 10 a.m.-noon Saturdays on News-Talk-Sports 1630 AM. He can be reached at mattlane28@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter @Mattlane28.

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Where is the Alleluia Community when we need their protests against the gay pride event? I think I have a crush on the Maryland Fried Chicken Dancing Lady in Evans!! I wonder if the queen mother (the mayor) is going to be on the main float.....

V23|NO26

Have something you want to get off your chest? Send your whines to whineline@themetrospirit. com. If you do so by noon on Friday, you might just see it in the next Thursday’s issue. Oh, and whines may be edited for content but will pretty much be printed exactly as you type them.

Read one to many pulpy crime novel this summer? Think those whodunits couldn’t possibly happen in real life? Ha! Take a trip over to fbi.gov/wanted/topten to see what kind of messes people like Semion Mogilevich (or Shimon Makelwitsh, if you happen to catch him when he’s using one of his nine aliases) have gotten themselves into. Good old Semion is wanted for defrauding thousands out of millions of dollars, and you can find out all sor ts of information on him… like the fact that he’s a heavy smoker and has pockmarks on his face. Hell, you can even print out your very own wanted poster. The site holds a creepy, lurid fascination, but don’t get so caught up in it that you submit a tip. Unless you’re absolutely sure you’ve spotted one of these guys, you could get into your own bit of trouble with the feds for doing that.

WERECOMMEND

Wouldn’t it be hilarious if they bulldozed the parking deck and the TEE center tomorrow, which would give City Stink and Augusta Today absolutely nothing to do?

Can we swap our Augusta commissioners for the Columbia County commissioners indefinetly ? Does anyone other than her “posse” read Jenny’s lame column? Austin Rhodes needs to quit having his wife calling the whine line about how “fine looking” he is. If it wasn’t his wife, that person needs to have his or her eyes examined! He’s a bald man with a big mouth and a Redneck mentality. He’s too uneducated to think of anything smart to say to people who call his radio program with a different opinion than his, so he cusses them and calls them childish names. If that’s anyone’s idea of a “fine man” they’ve got very low standards!

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I know this may be a little late but I am just beside myself to have found out that some local EMT’s were at a sports bar on Saturday March 24th bragging about being on duty but changing clothes to go to a bar. Personally this is a problem being that these individuals are “supposed” to be ready to save lives on a moments notice, but on march 24th there patient would have had to wait a few extra minutes before they were cared for. I wonder where their ambulance was parked, not to mention that they may or may not have been drinking. re:”Modest Swim wear No Longer Just for the Pious”: NO! As Soon as I read in that Article that one of it’s Proponents was a “Plus- Size Model”, I realized that this Swim Wear is for those that offer No Pleasant Viewing! That’s Right Sweetie! Cover It ALL UP! Those “Cows” with Many Ripples of Flab! The “Skinny Minnies” with Bones Galore! Cover That All Up...PLEASE!!! shame on you WRDW for printing a story about the joy reguarding lower gas prices. Now all the Augusta Sheep will flock to the pumps and increase consumption and prices, again. remember the day all you morons flocked to the pumps a couple of years ago and caused mass havoc? $2.95 cents is still not cheap for me. So it looks like those “pesky” conspiracy theorists at that FaceBook/political blog, have uncovered yet ANOTHER twist in the whole Billy Morris/Paul Simon TEE Center debacle. This time to the tune of 1.3 million bucks worth of missing kitchen equipment.... at what point do you people begin to notice that it’s not a theory but a reality. Or does your blind hatred of “the messengers” cloud your judgement? Every time The Chronicle prints one of their hatchet jobs on Wright McCleod it should include a disclosure that their publisher, Bill Morris, gave $2,500 to the campaign of Rick Allen. Oh and by the way, didn’t Allen’s construction firm get the contract to build Billy’s TEE Center? The biggest welfare recipients in Augusta are Billy Morris and Paul Simon. Man! With all of those Anthills in Rural Columbia County, I’ve Found the Answer to the “Energy Crisis”! Now! Somebody, Please Figure the way to Get Those Little Pests to Run on Those Energy Producing Conveyer Belts! I don’t believe these Pests are protected by those “Society for the Humane Treatment of Animals” People!? What!? “POP: the Protection Of Pests”?!

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