Metro Spirit 07.11.2002

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W W W . M E T S P I R I T . C O M

THE METROPOLITAN

ARTS, ISSUES & ENTERTAINMENT

He Hosed Us

BY STACEY EIDSON

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Contents DUI The Metropolitan Spirit

JULY 11-17, 2002

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Whine Line ......................................................................4 Words ..............................................................................4 Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down ..........................................4 This Modern World ........................................................4 Suburban Torture ...........................................................7 Austin Rhodes ................................................................8 More Austin Rhodes ......................................................9

Metro Beat

Up Close with Dianne King ..........................................10 “It was no longer the Fire Department.”

— Special Grand Jury Report ....................................11

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Arts

Tribute Bands Descend on Augusta ...........................20 Rousing Augusta ..........................................................22 Talking Monkeys and Existentialism Equal Zany Fun at Fort Gordon ..............................................................23

Cinema

Movie Listings .............................................................24 Close-Up: Christian Bale .............................................27 Review: Road to Perdition ...........................................27 Movie Clock ..................................................................28

Events

8 Days a Week .............................................................29

Music

Augusta Holds Its Own When Locobazooka Comes to Town ..............................................................................34 Music By Turner ............................................................35 Caitlin Cary Never Lets the Songs Grow Old .............35 Nightlife ........................................................................ 36

Stuff News of the Weird .......................................................38 Brezsny's Free Will Astrology .....................................39 New York Times Crossword Puzzle ............................39 Amy Alkon: The Advice Goddess ................................40 Date Maker ...................................................................41 Classifieds ....................................................................43

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EDITOR & PUBLISHER David Vantrease ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Rhonda Jones STAFF WRITERS Stacey Eidson, Brian Neill ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Joe White ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Kriste Lindler, Jessica Har ter PRODUCTION MANAGER Joe Smith GR APHIC ARTISTS Stephanie Carroll, Natalie Holle ASSISTANT TO THE PUBLISHER Meli Gurley RECEPTIONIST/CLASSIFIED COORDINATOR Sharon King ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT ASSISTANT Lisa Jordan CIRCULATION DIRECTOR Meli Gurley SENIOR MUSIC CONTRIBUTOR Ed Turner EDITORIAL INTERN Aimee Pavlik CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Chuck Shepherd, Rob Brezsny, Austin Rhodes, Amy Alkon, Rachel Deahl CARTOONISTS Tom Tomorrow, Julie Larson

THE METROPOLITAN SPIRIT is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks of the year. Editorial coverage includes ar ts, local issues, news, enter tainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publishers. Visit us at www.metspirit.com. Copyright © The Metropolitan Spirit Inc. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited.

Phone: (706) 738-1142 Fax: (706) 733-6663 E-mail: spirit@metspirit.com Letters to the Editor: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, Ga. 30914-3809

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Whine Line Thumbs Up The Locobazooka concert at the Augusta Exchange Fairgrounds the Fourth of July weekend was yet another promising sign that Augusta might be resuscitating its long-dead local music scene. The show, which featured up-and-coming acts, like masked head-bangers Mushroomhead and the group Mad at Gravity, reportedly drew 4,000 people, despite the sweltering heat.

Who says you have to drive to Athens or Atlanta to enjoy live music?

Thumbs Down While the Coliseum Authority, the governing board of the Richmond County Civic Center, sorts out its leadership problems following the termination of general manager Reggie Williams, it might be time to get the rest of its affairs in order.

The illegal, closed-door meeting the board held prior to Williams’ termination was only the tip of the iceberg in terms of the slipshod manner by which the body operates. Members consistently speak out of turn, many times to air petty, personal grievances. When votes are cast, aye or no, it is done so in a sea of barely audible voices and groans, without a show of hands. In fact, several recent attempts by this newspaper to confirm with civic center officials the votes after meetings were unsuccessful. That’s because the votes hadn’t been recorded, the most basic requirement of keeping meeting minutes. How do the authority members, themselves, know who voted for what?

Get it together, people.

I

remember the heady days when the Augusta Chamber of Commerce brought dozens of industries to Augusta each year. Those at today’s chamber know it’s impossible to recruit industries to Augusta with our halfbaked politicians; school busing; and a sheriff’s department stretched so thin only nine are allowed in Dunkin’ Donuts at any time.

If there’s something the community values about ASU, such as the soccer program, or historical buildings, you can be assured that (ASU) President Bloodworth will destroy it.

The man has few sensibilities when it comes to Augusta’s heritage and pride.

I am a soldier in the United States Army fighting the “War on Terrorism.” It pains me to see that the president (the same one who ran on the slogan “less government”) is using those who died on 9/11 as an excuse to take away our freedoms. Someone must unplug the shredder inside the national archives.

I am appalled at the cable news call-in shows.

My problem is the Bush-bashing and Clinton praise that is now going on. Callers blame President Bush for companies fudging their profits even though the false entries dates back into the ‘90s during the “cheating and lying, anything goes” Clinton days. It is not mentioned that the exaggerated and misstated profits helped with the appearance of a great economy during the Clinton years. Had these excesses been reported at the time, then what is the chance (we would have found out) that the economy was actually nowhere as good as was claimed?

Gubernatorial candidate Linda Schrenko recently filed a personal financial disclosure statement stating she has piled up $50,000 of credit card debt. Schrenko’s debt is quite excessive when comparing it to the average credit card debt of $8,000. I find it amusing that she has the nerve to stump and campaign on a fiscal conservative platform.

If you and your family are covered by your employer’s health and dental plan be prepared come renewal time, (for) increases of nearly 35 percent can be expected. Don’t expect even the most understanding of employers to give you a raise in pay to pick up the difference.

To those of you out there who feel the words “under God” are meaningless and that this is all there is...I would like to say, “If you are right and I am wrong what have I lost? On the other hand, if I am right and you are wrong what have you lost? This may be the only heaven you know and hopefully the only hell I will ever endure.” God bless you.

I hope that the mayor of Atlanta is prepared to deal with an increase in AIDS that will inevitably come along with the influx of homosexuals into the city. I’m glad I don’t live there.

I offer a solution of compromise to the proposed “adult” store on the Gordon Highway.

Let’s allow it to open, but only on the condition that the attorney for the porno enterprise that wants to operate it moves his family into a house next door to it and moves his law office next to it on the other side. It’s tiresome for meddling lawyers and other do-gooders like this to come in and tell us what we should and should not have in our neighborhood.

To the whiner who wasn’t too nice about Jay Miller: I think he is fun to watch and easy to watch. Sometimes the goofiness is good, especially with the dry, dull newspeople who talk the rest of the time. Jay, compared to other sports people in Augusta, is entertaining. Have you seen how terrible the sports people at the other news channels are?

I just saw the ad for Robin Williams with Senator Max Cleland. You just lost my vote.

Since we are now not “a nation under God,” maybe we can change it to say “one nation under greed, invisible, with some liberty, for just us, not for all.” Take that, you government-greedy, stupid, crazy people who have nothing better to do but worry about money.

Go outside and worship your green idol god, since you want to take God out of the world.

What’s next, the Bible?

I don’t mean to sound ignorant, but what’s the difference in left-wing and right-wing government?

Dude, you got a Dell. That’s why we don’t want an adult bookstore in Augusta. Now if only you can figure out how to hide your new inflatable baby doll.

Personally I think there are some clothes that should not be worn by larger people, but the fact of the matter is, if you have the confidence to wear it, go for it. If you don’t like it, don’t look. Fat people have rights too!

People in Augusta need to be more openminded. Come on, every city has an adult bookstore. Just because there is one doesn’t mean you have to shop there. If you don’t like it, don’t look at it; don’t go in there. continued on page 6

W O R D S “It’s definitely a black supremacist group, a mirror image of white hate groups.”

— Bob Moser, a senior writer for the Intelligence Report, a publication of the Montgomery, Ala.-based Southern Poverty Law Center, as quoted in The Atlanta JournalConstitution. Moser was referring to the Nuwaubians, a Putnam County group whose members lived on a compound replete with pyramids and a sphinx and whose leader awaits trial on, among other things, charges that he had sex with minors. A former president of the local NAACP had stated his membership in the Nuwaubians. Last year the group also held a parade through Augusta.

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New Classroom Facilities Will Welcome ASU Students Students attending fall classes at Augusta State University will find technology-rich classrooms in a new 122,000 square foot building. Allgood Hall, scheduled to open in August, will house the College of Business Administration and six departments of the Pamplin College of Arts and Sciences. The $18.2 million building also holds 147 faculty offices, 24 classrooms, 7 student study rooms, 3 computer labs, and a cafe.

The building is named in honor of Thomas F. Allgood, Sr., a 1949 alumnus who was a state senator and member of the Board of Regents of the University System of Georgia, and his wife, "T". Allgood Hall will be dedicated in a ceremony Aug. 7 at 2 p.m., and the public is invited to attend.

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Construction Gets Underway on Second Classroom Replacement Building Construction recently got underway on a new 112,000 square-foot classroom building at Augusta State that will house the College of Education, the Department of Nursing, the Writing Center, the Telecommunications Center, Computer Services, and Media Services. The facility will have 29 classrooms, two computer labs, student study areas, and a television studio. The $21.7 million project is expected to be completed in 2004.

ASU Garners National Recognition In its annual ranking of America's Best Colleges, the U.S. News and World Report ranked Augusta State University 11th in campus diversity among Southern colleges and universities and in the top 100 in master's level universities in the South.

Minorities comprise 37 percent of ASU's enrollment.

"We are proud of our diversity," says Dr. Joyce Jones, dean of students. "ASU students are diverse in race and ethnicity as well as in age, backgrounds, and abilities. This diversity enriches the learning environment of all our students."

Thinking about college—then take a closer look at Augusta State University. You'll find: · more than 60 programs leading to associate, bachelor, master, and specialist degrees, · nearly 200 full-time faculty members whose primary mission is student success, · an active student life with more than 50 student organizations, fraternities and sororities, club sports, co-ed rowing teams, and cultural opportunities, to perform or attend, in the arts, theatre, music, and film · NCAA Division II athletics in men's and women's basketball, cross-country, and tennis, softball, volleyball, and baseball, and Division I in men's and women's golf · a beautiful, historic campus where the environment is marked with the excitement and enthusiasm of true learning.

Visit Augusta State on-line at www.aug.edu or stop by the main campus on Walton Way. For more information, contact Admissions at 737-1632.

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And we all know 50 percent of you complaining are hypocrites and you’re going to go in there when you think no one is looking.

The dance clubs are already crowded enough as it is without these ridiculous single guys just standing on the dance floor waiting to pounce on some group of females who are dancing with friends. They just stand there and move back and forth waiting for the most insignificant hint that some girl is interested.

I can’t even dance with my girlfriend because some idiot is salivating over a group of girls.

They need to just get out of the way for the real men to do the work.

Monday • 7:30pm

26ActionNews Anchor Rich Everitt “One of Us”

continued from page 4

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I’ve been seeing the giant, bold, red, blackand-white billboards for the “new” Augusta Chronicle advertising campaign all over Augusta for the past month or so. “It’s Your Life. Read All About It!” Good campaign. However, the same campaign is running in Atlanta for the Journal-Constitution ... And I believe the AJC’s campaign was up and running way before The Chronicle rolled it out here.

I’d like to thank all of those who were at the Augusta Mall last Saturday that decided to stare at and make comments about my 21month-old son’s injuries. The looks of disgust at us and the looks of horror at him gave my wife a panic attack. All of you reaffirm my belief that humans are basically stupid.

So thanks again for adding to our already stressful week. My question: Do you stare at burn victims?

Kudos to Brian Neill of The Metro Spirit! Yet another well-written, informative article of local significance in this latest issue. Now I feel as if I’ve got the straight scoop on that Black Supremacy Nation thing over on MLK that we’ve been wondering about. Keep up the good work, bro!

In regards to the person who is happy to see “under God” being taken out of the Pledge of Allegiance, and who says that religion is the world’s problem: You are mistaken. It is ignorant people like you who will not stand up for America, that is our country’s major problem now. Our founding fathers built this great nation on that philosophy and furthermore, if you don’t like it, get out!

Nubian Amon-Ra founded a potent racial touchstone, a for-profit Black Supremacy Nation operation, and staffs it with dangerous gun-toting advocates to keep the curious at arm’s length. Amon-Ra has a criminal record, including drug-dealing, conspiracy charges relating to cocaine, and aggravated assault for firing a 9-mm handgun at an individual. If the Black Supremacy Nation is not a front for drug dealing with links to Arizona and points in between, then I’ll eat my hat.

All of us have seen at some time, our distorted images in carnival mirrors and exclaimed with laughter and horror, “That’s not me! I’m not like that.” And when metro Augusta’s decent, hard-working AfricanAmerican populace passes Black Supremacy Nation, they are certain to think, “That’s not me! I’m not like that.”

Is it just me or do most of the CSRA people drive without using turn signals? I get very tired of seeing people not using their turn signals when making turns. I mean, come on, that is what they were made for.

So please use them. You might actually prevent accidents from happening.

In response to “Gay Pride”: It has nothing to do with the closet; it just should be kept in the bedroom, not in the streets.

Last week’s whine, “Who runs Columbia County – the real estate crowd or the commissioners? This week’s truthful answer, “The real estate crowd does!”

So someone wrote in, “Let’s give Ed McIntyre a break!” One mistake? Come on.

“Not a crook”? I recall a long time ago Richard Nixon said that very same thing. No! I won’t give the man a second chance to slap me in the face. Once bitten, shame on you.

Twice bitten, shame on me!

The Black Supremacy Nation sounds like another organization dedicated to bilking minorities and getting government funds.

Hate groups like this don’t last. At a time when America should be coming together as a nation, this group is trying to put another wedge in the racial divide. How convenient he doesn’t have to prove he is getting hate calls and that The Metro Spirit provided him with an outlet to vent his propaganda. If any other group armed itself and proclaimed this

bilge, would they be allowed to get away with it? Most minorities are smart enough to see through this group. The few that they con will soon realize what their real intention is. No good will come from this outfit.

Election time – or should I say eviction time – is near for those who love money more than the people’s needs. If we are black or white, we are one thing – Americans! Let us get Charles Walker Sr. out of office. He is for no one but himself. Concerned hint: Like father like son.

I find it very interesting that George Kolb has The Augusta Chronicle in his back pocket. In its article on July 3, The Chronicle said three quarters, that’s 75 percent, of the city population is satisfied with the way Mr. Kolb has done his job. Please read the article again: 35 percent rate the city as fair; 38 percent rate the city as middle-of-the-road, which means they really don’t care; and 27 percent rate the city as inefficient! What Augusta needs most is to stop injecting petty politics into every major decision and move ahead with commercial development, but this will not happen with our current group of elected players.

My dog Goldie got out of my yard last night during a very bad thunderstorm. My son searched all night but could not find her. I walked around this morning looking for her.

At 11:30 my son received a call stating a family nearby had Goldie and we could come get her. They took care of her and gave her comfort during the storm, as she is very afraid. The reason we were quickly reunited is because she wore a collar with a license which gave the Mack Lane animal

shelter number, where I got her, which was proof she was registered and current on her rabies shots. The people who took her in were able to quickly get in touch with me because of this. A big thank you to them.

This is another reason why people should take the time to register their pets. By doing what was right I did not suffer the anguish of being separated from a loved one for an unbearable amount of time. It got Goldie home!

Suburban Torture

7

by Julie Larson

S P I R I T

What’s the big deal about the adult bookstore?

J U L Y

I grew up in Augusta in the ‘40s and back then they called the Augusta Police the “Gestapo” because they used the same tactics. It doesn’t look like much has changed.

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Fox 54, please take the show “Good Times” off the air. Please, please!

Why do two elected officials in Richmond County, the sheriff and the district attorney, who are to apply the law equally for everyone, lead a protest against an adult bookstore, which violated no laws or codes in Augusta?

If we the American people don’t start voting and vote people out of office who can dictate, what’s it going to be next? I think elected officials should stay on the job they were elected to. The sheriff was elected to enforce the law for all people, and the district attorney is to protect the law.

— Call our Whine Line at 510-2051 and leave your comments. We won’t use your name. Fax your whines by dialing (706) 7336663 or e-mail your whines to whine@metspirit.com

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Opinion: Austin Rhodes

Augusta National Protesters Ignorant to Golf ... and Life

“T

he Masters, in my mind, is not tied at the hip to this club,” she said. “An event of this profile could be held somewhere else.”

With the above quote, Martha Burk proved that she knows less about golf than a 14-year-old boy knows about feminine hygiene products.

But Burk’s lack of golf savvy didn’t keep her from writing a letter to the Augusta National, threatening a boycott of the tournament’s television sponsors if the club did not take affirmative action (no pun intended) to get some Green Skirts integrated into the Green Jacket corps.

Burk is the chairwoman of the National Council of Women’s Organizations, and as such, represents 6 million members from over 100 women’s groups. Burk believes the concerns of her members should be heard.

Whoop-de-doo.

The Southern Baptist Convention has 15.8 million members from over 40 thousand churches nationwide, and they say folks shouldn’t drink beer on Sunday.

Don’t feel bad, ladies: The Baptists ain’t gonna get their way either.

Give Augusta National Chairman Hootie Johnson (regrettably, no relation to the Hooters empire) all the credit in the world for aggressively rejecting the threats of the interlopers and telling them to stick their protests where the sun don’t shine.

“Our membership alone decides our membership — not any outside group with its own agenda,” Johnson blasted.

The statement, which appears to have been written by Rush Limbaugh with an assist from Ted Nugent, continued, “... the message delivered to us was clearly coercive ... we will not be bullied, threatened or intimidated. We do not intend to become a trophy in their display case.”

My favorite line followed: “There may well be a day when women will be invited to join our membership, but that timetable will be ours, and not at the point of a bayonet.”

Double eagle, Hootie.

Keep in mind, Johnson is not rebuffing a sportswoman, or even a fellow golfer.

He is responding to a professional whiner. A female version of Jesse Jackson. All mouth and no brain, all bluster and no substance.

Again, Burk sealed her reputation as a lightweight on the subject of golf and golf clubs with the notion that the Masters could be “taken away” from the National.

The very suggestion that the Masters Tournament, which is owned lock, stock and barrel by the club, could be played at another location, legally or authentically, completely discredits the rest of Burk’s complaint. With one fell swoop, that one remark identifies the woman as a spotlight-hungry complainer with not a sports-credible bone in her body.

The Masters played somewhere else?

What’s next? Christmas in July? David Bowie singing country? Feminists making sense?

“Augusta National and the Masters — while happily entwined — are quite different,” Johnson said. “One is a private golf club. The other is a world-class sports event of great public interest. It is insidious to attempt to use one to alter the essence of the other.”

Discussing the pointed rejection of her organization’s threats, Burk used the ageold analogy that gender-exclusive social clubs are a throwback to the days when black folks were kept out of white establishments. What a barrel of horsecrap.

Ms. Burk, I have a news flash for you: Men and women are different.

They have different tastes, attitudes, and agendas.

Just ask my wife. When her all-female book club gets together, the husbands are about as welcome as a hard slice. (In golf, that is a bad thing, Ms. Burk.)

They don’t want us around when they relax, because while they love us, they also love to get away from us. If Cheryl’s book club can insist on their own membership list, why in the hell can’t a bunch of old guys who play golf?

I have no idea when or if the National will invite a woman to join. And you know what? I really don’t care. Neither should Ms. Burk and every one of the gazillion feminists she claims to represent. It is none of my business what a private club does, and it is none of theirs, either.

— The views expressed in this column are the views of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. The archived Austin Rhodes columns can now be seen at www.wgac.com.

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Opinion: Austin Rhodes

M E T R O

Grand Jury Report Is the Mayor’s Stinking Albatross

E

d McIntyre took bribes and went to jail. Charles DeVaney never mentioned the city was going broke.

Larry Sconyers said there was no water crisis. Bob Young wrote a letter of recommendation for Ronnie Few. Augusta’s chief executives have a stellar track record going. To recall a string of successes quite like this, one has only to refer to the Atlanta Braves. Of the ‘70s.

Try as I may, I cannot fathom how a man as smart as Bob Young allowed the staggering level of corruption that existed in the Augusta Fire Department under the leadership of Chief Ronnie Few. The Special Grand Jury report reads like a Woodword and Bernstein tome, and it paints a very clear picture of serial abuse of power, fraud and intimidation at Few’s hand.

The mayor had to know. He had to.

He was told by Randy Oliver, Brenda ByrdPelaez, Pam Tucker and others. He knew there were problems with Few blatantly playing favorites; he knew because there were firefighters who complained about it. Loudly.

The mayor saw Few’s protectors brazenly blaze trails for their favorite son; he saw sworn city officials go to great lengths to cover for Few’s misdeeds.

The mayor didn’t make a speech; he didn’t ask for an investigation (until way too late);

he didn’t raise his voice. He didn’t write a letter; he didn’t call the attorney general; he didn’t hold a press conference.

If Bob Young’s outrage is any indication, Brad Owens is a far bigger bad guy than Ronnie Few. Let’s pretend for a moment that the mayor was giving Few the benefit of the doubt. He didn’t want to protest too much, allowing due process to take its course.

Even with that ridiculous premise, the mayor’s reluctance to hold Commissioners Willie Mays, Lee Beard and Marion Williams publicly responsible for their outrageous slander of this city in our nation’s capital is a sure-fire sign that he is incapable of defending us from the miscreants and political hacks who have taken over Augusta.

Remember, the trio testified before a Washington, D.C., personnel committee on Few’s behalf, claiming his problems here were all a fabrication of the racist establishment and media. Augusta was stuck in the ‘60s, and thought black guys should be riding on the back of the fire truck, not leading it.

Nailing the Three Stooges was a no-brainer.

Orchestrate a condemnation proclamation with the five commissioners who were also offended, signing off on it. How about walking out of a commission meeting to demon-

strate our disgust. Better yet, why not use that microphone in front of the mayor’s chair to blast those race-baiting weenies, and make them walk out of the meeting.

Good Lord, Mayor, do something.

Actually, he did. He wrote a letter of recommendation for Chief Few. Georgians hadn’t played that dirty a trick on Washington, D.C., since we sent Cynthia McKinney up there.

In a TV interview Tuesday, Mayor Young joked about the recommendation letter, saying he was writing it to help get the guy out of here. That is brilliant: Augusta’s top man knowingly shipping a likely criminal off to wreak more havoc on unsuspecting citizens.

Maybe we should let the mayor handle the nuclear waste problem at SRS. He could write a letter to California telling them it is a “special new fertilizer.”

The mayor seems to be right at home spreading fertilizer.

But the mayor isn’t the only politician holding the bag. We have five seemingly conservative, law-and-order guys in Bill Kuhlke, Ulmer Bridges, Andy Cheek, Jerry Brigham and Steve Sheppard who also fiddled while our fire department burned.

Righteous indignation in and of itself really isn’t worth a whole lot. But if a chorus of

elected voices joined in united condemnation of the outrageous behavior we continue to see in our elected and appointed officials, at least the public could understand more clearly who the bad guys are. Nothing makes someone behave like knowing they are being watched.

Give the public, and the media, the opportunity to look for trouble, and much of what we read about in the grand jury report could have never happened.

To be honest, the media does play a role in the sordid successes of some of these idiots.

The Augusta Chronicle’s recent political endorsement of Lee Beard is a great example.

A few years back, The Chronicle publicly apologized for endorsing Don Johnson in the 1992 10th District congressional race. It may be time for another such apology.

Mayor Bob Young is running for re-election.

Bet your last buck that his primary opponent, Robin Williams, will use this report to paint a picture of a weak leader, either completely out of the loop, or too afraid to confront corruption.

The stink of this scandal will likely stay with the mayor, like the proverbial rotting albatross.

— The views expressed in this column are the views of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. The archived Austin Rhodes columns can now be seen at www.wgac.com.

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UpClose With Dianne King

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BY AIMEE PAVLIK

1 1 2 0 0 2

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ppreciating a beautiful garden does not require a green thumb, says Dianne King.

King, marketing and special events manager for the Augusta Golf and Gardens and Georgia Golf Hall of Fame, is the first to admit that she does not possess a knack for making things grow.

"If you walk in my house, you see one kind of plant that can survive everything," she says. "I really don’t have any kind of gardening skills whatsoever, but it doesn’t take a gardener to appreciate the beauty that’s out there. It has given me incentive to learn, and I’ve actually gone out and bought ‘Gardening for Dummies.’"

Now in her second year at the gardens, King says she realized her love for public relations and marketing while working at an event for the Augusta Metro Chamber of Commerce.

"When I left the Chamber of Commerce I decided that I really wanted to get involved in something still in Augusta – because Augusta is my home – but maybe in tourism," King says. "I started a year before the attraction opened, and was able to come in at a point where we were starting to develop the marketing campaign, what our goals and target markets were, which was extremely challenging and very rewarding."

Although King describes herself as a workaholic, she says she is family oriented as well, and spends much of her time with her two sons and husband, Tommy.

"We like to do a lot of things together, depending on what season it is," King says. "We’ll either go to my sister’s and go to the pool or we’ll come downtown.

On Sundays after church we always grab a picnic basket and head down to the gardens for a picnic."

But she adds that her dedication to family intensified in recent years when one of her sons began to experience epileptic seizures.

"I took some time off to learn everything I could about epilepsy," King says.

"It gave me the opportunity to stop and look at priorities in my life. While my family has always been first, once the kids went to bed I would work in the evening and that kind of thing, and I think this experience taught me to slow

down and smell the roses and enjoy life a little bit more."

King’s need to help members of her family stems from her longtime interest in helping others.

"When I was younger I always aspired to be someone who helped other people," she says. "My mom says I wanted to be a psychologist or a therapist, which is kind of still true because I like to help everybody solve their problems."

King also does volunteer work for the local chapter of the American Diabetes Association and the Epilepsy Association of Georgia, and says that if she were to change her career, it would more than likely be to work for one of these organizations.

"I would go into an association that would help epilepsy or diabetes, something where I felt like I was contributing back to an organization that helped my family," King says. "I’ve seen those people help my son, and I would want to be able to return the favor."

After growing up as part of a military family that lived in many places, Augusta became home to King when her father was stationed at Fort Gordon.

"I moved away, but I’ve always come back home. The reason I came back is that I had to make a choice and figure out where I wanted to raise my family, and this was the only place I could ever imagine raising my family," she says. "I have been all over, and I think Augusta’s the greatest place in the world."

And King says that she tries to be supportive of the city by taking advantage of everything that Augusta has to offer.

"There is so much to do in Augusta, and whenever I hear, ‘What am I gonna do; there’s nothing to do in Augusta,’ I just want to say, ‘You’ve got to be kidding."

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M E T R O S P I R I T J U L Y

“It was no longer the Fire Department.” — Special Grand Jury Report

BY STACEY EIDSON

L

ying to the public and governmental officials. Blatantly misusing taxpayers’ money. Promoting propaganda. Yearning for the spotlight.

Encouraging personal attacks within the Augusta-Richmond County Fire Department.

Intimidating those who dared disagree.

This is only a short list of the misdeeds and ill-conceived behavior by Augusta’s former fire chief, Ronnie Few, and a number of his underlings on the fire department, according to the recently released, 124-page report by the Richmond County special grand jury.

The 23-member jury, nine of whom are black and 14 of whom are white, has spent more than two years focusing its attention on what the group sees as the mismanagement and, at times, “possibly illegal” activities of the fire department’s leadership during Few’s three-year tenure in Augusta.

“The importance of this report is not what it reveals about Chief Few, but what it exposes about our government, its politicians and our community as a whole,” the July 8 report states.

What this report reveals is Augusta at its worst.

“For Ronnie Few, it was style over substance,” the report states. “He was a phenomenon, someone for whom reality was defined by his worldview ... Few became flamboyant and outrageous, comfortable in the knowledge that he was untouchable.”

Untouchable to any county regulations or requests by former county administrator Randy Oliver, the grand jury alleged, because of several Augusta commissioners’ alliance with him.

“Our elected official created a milieu where passivity and favoritism reigned,” the report states.

The grand jury wrote that, because Few was the first black fire chief in Augusta, black commissioners felt a loyalty toward

him and white commissioners were often afraid to question his actions for fear of being called racists.

The commissioners backing Few had fought what the grand jury called a “nasty struggle” with former fire chief Bill Maddox and his choice of white candidate Dennis Adkins to succeed him after he retired in 1996. When Maddox left the department, the grand jury stated, he also left behind his style of management, which was known as “36 rules,” the 36th of which made Maddox the “arbiter ultimate.”

“He (Maddox) could reinterpret or cancel any rule as he saw fit,” the grand jury states in its report. “This was a very bad idea for the new fire department – there was no formal consistency. The policies could be changed depending on the situation or the whim of one person.”

While the grand jury may have thought that style of management was poor policy for the fire department, the report states it was a perfect environment for Few to manipulate the government.

“When the commission chose Ronnie Few, it can be said fairly that members of the fire department looked at the hiring as a breath of fresh air,” the report states. “The employees felt hopeful, especially when they heard his (Few’s) motto, ‘I don’t know you and I don’t owe you.’”

But the department quickly learned that was not Few’s true belief, the report states. Instead, Few went way beyond any dictatorial management style that Maddox ever had enforced.

The grand jury wrote that, of Maddox’s so-called 36 Rules, “Chief Few abolished the first thirty-five,” making it either his way or the highway.

“Few was the perfect example of someone who flourished in this climate,” the report says. “It (Few’s poor leadership) was due to the commissioners who protected and nurtured him and those who were passive and

“By hoodwinking sponsoring agencies out of extra money and using it for personal gain, (Ronnie) Few and (Katrice) Bryant violated every known ethical standard.”

– Special Grand Jury Report

Augusta's former fire chief, Ronnie Few operated in willful ignorance. The burden for Few rests squarely on the shoulders of these two sets of politicians.”

And it’s a heavy burden to carry.

According to the report, the first sign commissioners had of Few’s disregard for authority came with the now much-talkedabout $10,000 he was given for moving expenses to Augusta.

On Aug. 5, 1997, Chief Few asked for $6,530 from the city to pay a company for moving him from Atlanta. When the check was written out to the moving company, Few returned to the finance department requesting the check be made out in his name because he had already paid the movers himself.

The finance department said that was acceptable, but Few had to supply the city with his canceled check. Well, to make a long story short, that never happened.

Few was given the money, and the city

never saw the canceled check, the grand jury reported.

Instead, it wasn’t until Oliver threatened to list the $6,530 as wages from Few’s federal W-2 form in 1998 that Few produced, not a canceled check, but a detailed receipt.

But the grand jury learned that it was a fictitious receipt. “(I)n his final appearance before the grand jury on June 15, 2000, Chief Few finally recalled that his wife created the final receipt and signed the owner’s name,” the report states.

From the very get-go, the Augusta Commission had signs of Few’s disregard for city policy. But Few’s behavior, the grand jury report states, got much worse.

“It is imperative to the county that a department head be mindful of the fact that he does not have an open, unlimited checkbook,” the report states. “With a smile and continued on page 12

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continued from page 11 reassuring words, Chief Few pretty much did whatever he wanted and let the taxpayers do the worrying.”

Using thousands and thousands of dollars in taxpayers’ money, Few frequently purchased what the grand jury called, “nonessential” items for the department such as 12 pairs of Ray Ban sunglasses for $480; a fire department newsletter called The Siren, at a cost of $15,474 over two years; a bagpipe and kilts for the honor guard for $1,625 (the items were barely ever used); and more than $10,050 on photography equipment to immortalize Few at his lavish events and functions.

Speaking of lavish events, much was reported in the local media about the missing funds from the 2000 Southeastern Association of Fire Chiefs Conference. The special grand jury discovered that transferring funds from one unauthorized account to another was common practice for Few. The grand jury learned that, during the 1998 Media Phoenix Awards, presented by the fire department, Few approached a local bank and, on his own, opened a “Phoenix” bank account using the county tax I.D. number.

“At no time did the Chief notify the county finance department of his action,” the report states. “In these documents, Chief Few declared himself ‘president’ of this ‘corporation’ with all the rights and authority thereof. At no time did he possess the proper resolution from the county commission to open such an account.

“Chief Few falsely represented the Augusta-Richmond County Fire Department as an incorporated entity under the laws of the state of Georgia.”

Without any oversight from the city, Few and his public information officer, Katrice Bryant, maintained what the grand jury called a “slush fund” that was used for whatever they saw fit. And the two allegedly used the money raised at the event, including unethical donations from vendors dealing with the city, to rent out Sacred Heart Cultural Center and spend $9,000 on catering. The city, itself, ended up having to pay a private film company, Mustard Seed Video, about $2,700 for filming fire department events and producing a tribute video Few requested entitled, “Ronnie Few: Miracle Worker,” the report states.

“In 2000, after racking up over $16,000 in expenses, they (Few and Bryant) found themselves still about $5,000 short,” the report states. “Due to the extravagance of

the (Phoenix Awards) production, Few approved a $4,000 ‘loan’ from the Southeastern Association of Fire Chiefs convention checking account, which was under his stewardship.”

This was a blatant misuse and misappropriation of these funds, the report states, but Few didn’t stop there.

Bryant – who the grand jury says spent much of her time at the fire department working on non-job-related activities such as sending out resumes, assisting her college sorority with alumni events, planning wedding and shower celebrations and charging more than $1,450 in cell phone calls to the county in a 9-month period – also ordered $23,000 worth of souvenirs for the Southeastern Association of Fire Chiefs Conference.

The grand jury maintained that Bryant thought the department would make extra money selling hats, pens, key chains and Tshirts from the event. Instead, the grand jury found that more items were given away than sold.

That left the city and the convention holding what turned out to be an $18,000 bill, when the distributor of the souvenirs came looking for its money.

“The taxpayers were therefore obliged to eat the cost of a private function,” the report states. “It was no longer the Fire Department, but the Few Department.”

However, the Southeastern Association of Fire Chiefs Conference wasn’t the first organization Few allegedly short-changed.

In 1998, the Georgia State Firefighters Association (GSFA) came to town and Few again opened a local bank account using the taxpayer I.D. number.

During the convention, the grand jury states in its report, Few asked a vendor for a $900 check to “buy more liquor for the hospitality room.”

“There is no record as to what Few did with this money, but the vendor never received a public acknowledgement of his contribution,” the report states.

At the end of the function, Few told the Georgia State Firefighters Association (GSFA) that there was still $5,873.91 owed.

In good faith, the association provided the department with the money.

“And up until now, GSFA does not even know that the Augusta Fire Administration had $2,700 of its money. Records show that Few did not need $5,873, but only had approximately $3,100 in outstanding bills,” the report states.

The remaining money left over from the

“It is imperative to the county that a department head be mindful of the fact that he does not have an open, unlimited checkbook. With a smile and reassuring words, Chief (Ronnie) Few pretty much did whatever he wanted and let the taxpayers do the worrying.”

– Special Grand Jury Report

account went to what appeared to be “personal” donations from Few to local organizations such as the T.W. Josey Band and the Boys and Girls Club.

“By hoodwinking sponsoring agencies out of extra money and using it for personal gain, Few and Bryant violated every known ethical standard,” the report states.

But money management wasn’t Few’s only problem.

He was also guilty of “poor administration,” the grand jury report states.

In two separate incidents, Few instructed his payroll clerks to falsify time sheets for certain employees, the report states.

On one particular occasion, grand jurors wrote, Few wanted his so-called “driver,” who held an unauthorized county position in the first place, to be classified as a 24hour, shift employee. That classification would have made him eligible for overtime pay, the report states. In actuality, the driver should have been classified as an eighthour employee who worked the regular 40hour week.

The fire department’s payroll clerk objected to Few’s request to change the salary classification.

“The clerk rightly objected to this payroll fraud,” the grand jury wrote. “When she was continually pressured by the chief to perpetrate this ruse, she made him sign a memo taking full responsibility for this misrepresentation.”

On the second occasion, another payroll clerk again objected to the same request by Few for another employee.

“This payroll clerk sought the advice of the EEO (Equal Employment Opportunity) officer,” the report states. “EEO advised the clerk that she did not have to obey an illegal order and that if she did, she would be just as guilty.”

However, when Few learned of the clerk’s objections, he allegedly took many of her responsibilities away and gave them to a “less inquisitive” employee, the report states.

According to the report, both the city’s human resource department and the EEO officer found little support from the city administrator and the commissioners when trying to prohibit poor management by Few. There were also several complaints coming out of the fire department from employees, the grand jury states, because much of the department’s discipline procedures were unprofessional.

The grand jury states that Few had many forms of intimidation he used such as “chesting up,” by which an individual physically tries to invade another employee’s personal space.

“Another technique is stewing an employee,” the report states. “The employee is called to the administrative office and made to wait and wait and wait. These employees are often on duty, being forced to sit, sometimes for over eight hours. It is not unheard of that after waiting the day, the employee is told, ‘The chief will see you tomorrow,’ and the process starts all over again.”

Unfortunately, with this type of behavior coming from Few, those under him, such as Deputy Chief Carl Scott, were encouraged to act accordingly, the report states.

Scott, whom the grand jury points out was promoted directly from a captain position that supervised three men to deputy chief of the department, was often quick to display “in your face” anger tactics and grudges against some firefighters who crossed him, the grand jury reported.

One such case was when Scott immediately

pulled from his duties a sergeant, who was at a medical emergency and performing CPR on a victim, in order to answer a question about a prescribed medication the sergeant was taking. It was the same medication that had appeared on four previous drug tests.

“The call went out from Chief Scott for the sergeant to come to administration immediately,” the report states. “(One of the department’s captains) went to the scene, had the sergeant drop what he was doing (chest compressions) and took him to administration as the patient’s family watched (the patient later died). Then, the captain and sergeant waited two hours for Scott, who had left administration after ordering the sergeant’s immediate attendance.”

According to the special grand jury, this was all because Scott was upset with the seargant for not volunteering to help build the department’s transit house for families who are displaced after a fire.

“The idea of pulling a man from an active medical scene, and then making him wait, is unconscionable,” the grand jury wrote.

On another occasion, Scott randomly canceled a training exercise at BP Amoco that was organized by another commanding officer because Scott allegedly had a beef with him as well.

“Chief Scott let it be known to many that he felt (this firefighter) ‘wasn’t black enough’ and that he ‘wasn’t taking care of his own,’” the report states. “Ironically, this was merely weeks before the explosion at the (BP Amoco) plant that killed three people.”

These incidents, along with several others listed in the report, caused the grand jury to actually call for Scott’s resignation.

“The SGJ (special grand jury) feels that Chief Scott should be relieved of his duties,” the report states. “In his tenure as deputy chief and interim chief he has not risen to the demands of the job.”

Gathering all of this information from the fire department for its investigation was no simple task, the grand jury’s report states.

The group had to interview hundreds of witnesses while at the same time hear several commissioners accusing the special grand jury of racism.

“For some commissioners, Ronnie Few was just a victim of the white good ole’ boy network and they accused the SGJ was being used in a vendetta against powerful blacks,” the grand jury wrote. “They accused the SGJ of being part of the racist plot to bring down Few.” Few, himself, also tried to stop the grand jury’s investigation.

“One witness reported that Chief Few stood outside her office after she received her subpoena and loudly proclaimed, ‘I have arranged with the District Attorney to get transcripts of everyone who testifies so I can review them for lies,’” the report states.

“This witness was intimidated and had to be reassured she would be safe.”

Few was later called to District Attorney Danny Craig’s office and warned to immediately stop such tactics.

But the special grand jury said the entire purpose of its investigation is to prohibit such action from ever occurring in Augusta again.

“Chief Few took more from the city than he ever contributed,” the report states. “He proclaimed that we were flat on our backs when he came, but it is certain that we were on our knees when he left. ... Could Few essentially happen again? The answer is a resounding, ‘Yes.’”

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KIDS: They Want the World and

They Want It N

ag. Nag. Nag. Nag. Nag. Nag ... Nag ... Nag ... Nag.

“All right. Here you are, Junior.”

Kids in America are getting exactly what they want, and are being encouraged to think they need even more stuff once they get it, than ever before.

And what parents don’t give in to buying them the first time they ask, kids are willing to nag them for an average of nine more times, until they do give in.

Those are the findings of a poll recently conducted by a non-profit organization called a Center for a New American Dream, whose mission is to educate Americans to consume responsibly.

The survey, conducted in May, polled 750 youth, ages 12 to 17, from throughout the nation.

Of those polled, 81 percent said they often knew in advance of asking for a particular item that their parents would not approve of it. Roughly six out of 10 respondents said if they didn’t at first succeed in getting the desired item, they

would continue to nag an average of nine more times to get their way.

And it usually worked.

Who’s to blame for these persistent, selfish kids?

Advertisers, according to the organizers of the study.

Eric Brown, communications director for the Takoma Park, Md.-based Center for a New American Dream, said his organization, which has been in existence for five years, didn’t originate the term “nag” to illustrate its study.

Instead, he said, it was devised in the inner sanctums of Madison Avenue, where think groups peer through twoway mirrors to observe children’s behavior in toy-filled rooms, and some of the nation’s most astute psychologists counsel marketers on how to elicit a Pavlovian response for the next newfangled toy or line of clothes.

In fact, James U. McNeal, a marketing professor at Texas A&M University, helped define the nag and made it a common consideration among marketing think tanks through the release of his

NOW

1992 book, “Kids as Consumers.”

In it, McNeal categorized a wide range of children’s nags, from the I-love-youMom, “sugar-coated nag,” to the kicking and screaming “demonstrative nag.”

“That’s (the nag) an industry-coined term. We didn’t make it up,” Brown said.

“They know that this (any particular product) is a nag-factor product and they want kids to nag their parents.”

A father of a 6-year-old daughter, himself, Brown said it’s getting harder and harder for parents to escape the pressures of the seemingly ubiquitous messages issuing forth from televisions, billboards and fast food drive-throughs.

“What we do is help Americans consume responsibly, quite simply,” Brown said. “And this campaign we’re doing right now, (targeting) kids and commercialism, is based on the fact that advertising and marketing are driving kids to be hyper-consumers.”

Brown gave as an example the overwhelming buzz for Disney’s new movie, “Lilo and Stitch.” “‘Lilo and Stitch’ is a great example. I

mean, there’s nowhere you can go to escape this movie. It’s just everywhere,” Brown said. “I suspect if you ran a poll among parents about Disney you would not get the overwhelming positives that you would have 20 years ago. I think there is a significant segment of the population that sees Disney as a problem, whereas once upon a time it was just a paragon of goodness.

“And I think it’s because of the marketing.”

AN INFINITE GAME ON A FINITE BOARD In his 2001 book, “Fast Food Nation,” a probing look behind the scenes of the fast food industry, author Eric Schlosser examined synergy, the marketing strategy whereby a movie is no longer just a movie, but also a kid’s meal, a toy and a built-in advertisement for a plethora of other products.

In the book, Schlosser cites a Happy Meal campaign McDonald’s embarked on in 1997 that included Teenie Beenie Babies with meals. Just prior to the

BY BRIAN NEILL

campaign, Schlosser wrote, McDonald’s was selling about 10 million Happy Meals a week. By including the toys, McDonald’s increased Happy Meal sales to 100 million over a 10-day period.

While the age groups surveyed by the Center for a New American Dream have moved out of Happy Meal territory some years ago, McDonald’s tenfold sales boost in such a short period of time does illustrate the power and dollar factor of marketing to youth.

A February 2000 Salon.com article cited an exponentially growing number of “kid-oriented” marketing firms as a factor that helped propel the direct buying power of kids ages 4 to 12 from $2.9 billion in sales in 1978, to $24 billion in 1998.

Some marketing surveys have suggested that a child’s “brand loyalty” can begin as early as age 2.

Middle- and high-school students are just as susceptible as younger kids, if not moreso, to the persuasive messages from marketers, some experts say.

One of those experts is Tim Kasser, an associate professor of psychology at Knox College in Galesburg, Ill., who has been studying the effects of marketing in researching his upcoming book, “The High Price of Materialism,” to be released in September by MIT Press.

Kasser, during a phone interview, suggested that marketers have seized on an enduring principle of psychology — the theory of social comparison — with which to crank up their sales volumes.

“You know, kids are swamped with all of these messages to have the right image, to own the right stuff; they compare themselves to their peers in that sense and they want to match up, they want to fit in,” Kasser said. “So they’re motivated to go buy all this stuff in order to be cool and fit in. And then the marketers capitalize on that by manipulating kids to make sure they’re aware that they aren’t, at all, cool if they have acne, or wear the fashions from a year ago or don’t own this new CD by the new band or whatever it is.

“The marketers kind of play off that, if you will. And they do that to us adults, too. I think it’s just more that kids are especially susceptible to it.”

Kasser suggests marketers are also crossing thresholds once considered offlimits in their targeting of young consumers.

“You know, girls younger and younger are starting to diet and things, because they want to fit in, too,” Kasser said.

“And I think it (the target group) is

getting younger and younger as marketers are recognizing that even though little kids don’t have money, the parents spend money on the things kids nag on.

“Essentially, they’re (marketers) creating this gap between what the kid has and what the kid wants. That gap feels bad.

People don’t like to feel like, ‘I don’t have what I want.’ And so kids whine in order to close the gap and feel better.”

The problem with that thinking, as Kasser determined through researching his book, is that most people, kids included, experience only a fleeting happiness once they get the coveted item. In fact, over the long term of their continued material pursuits, individuals may actually become less happy, Kasser said.

“So the problem is, we’re being sold a lie,” Kasser said. “We’re being sold this message that says: ‘Yeah, pursue this stuff, you’ll be happy.’ It’s a lie, and to the extent we believe the message, we’re actually more unhappy, because, and this is one of the things I say in my book, it distracts us from what really is meaningful in life, like good relationships or like engaging in fun activities besides sitting in front of the tube.

“And to the extent we’re engaged in all this materialistic junk, we don’t attend to that which really could make us happy, and the same goes for teen-agers.”

Kasser said dozens of studies have shown that materialistic obsessions in people can eventually lead to problems such as depression and poor health later in life.

“What I’ve found and what has been replicated in dozens of studies at this point around the world, is that to the extent that people take on these materialistic values and believe that it’s important to have possessions and the right image and blah, blah blah, they actually report less satisfaction with their life,” Kasser said. “More anxiety, more depression, more physical problems — on and on and on.

“The messages which our culture is sending in order to keep our economy afloat, are undermining its citizens’ quality of life to the extent they believe those messages and pursue those activities.”

UNDOING THE DAMAGE The Center for a New American Dream is not the first organization to address the societal impacts of marketing and advertising on our culture.

Groups like the Vancouver, Canadabased Adbusters and Commercial Alert, an organization co-founded by Ralph

“Parents have to set limits, and they have to set limits and stick by them. Sometimes ‘no’ has to mean, ‘no.’”

— Eric Brown, spokesman for the Center for a New American Dream.

15 M E T R O S P I R I T J U L Y 1 1 2 0 0 2

16 Nader, have railed on the preponderance M E T R O S P I R I T J U L Y 1 1 2 0 0 2

of advertising and its contribution to our society’s obsession with acquiring more and more stuff.

In April, Washington, D.C.-based TV Turnoff Network sponsored its eighth annual TV Turnoff Week, during which the non-profit organization encourages people in the nation to observe a weeklong abandonment of their TV-viewing habit. The annual initiative has received the support of such groups as the American Medical Association and the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Indeed, many fingers point to television as the No. 1 peddler of stuff to kids.

In Sweden for instance, the government saw such insidiousness in marketing aimed at kids on TV that in 1991 it banned TV advertising to children under the age of 12. Advertising spots of any sort also are prohibited from being aired during programming slots immediately preceding and following TV shows aimed at children under 12. Additionally, actors or characters with prominent roles on children’s shows are forbidden from hawking products on TV. Brown, of the Center for a New American Dream, doubts America will go to such extremes. And while he appreciates the efforts of groups like Adbusters, which often advocates anti-marketing steps that cross legal boundaries (defacing billboards with humorous twists on marketing slogans, for example), Brown said his group hopes to keep its message more in the mainstream.

For example, Brown said his group

“So the problem is, we’re being sold a lie.

We’re being sold this message that says: ‘Yeah, pursue this stuff, you’ll be happy.’

It’s a lie, and to the extent we believe the message, we’re actually more unhappy, because ... it distracts us from what really is meaningful in life, like good relationships or like engaging in fun activities besides sitting in front of the tube.”

— Tim Kasser, author of the upcoming book, “The High Price of Materialism.”

recently partnered with the World Wildlife Federation for an educational campaign to introduce kids to nature and the outdoors, the idea being to steer them away from media influences.

However, keeping advertisers and kids’ wish lists at bay, more than anything, boils down to parents being strong, Brown said.

“Parents have to set limits, and they have to set limits and stick by them,” Brown said. “Sometimes ‘no’ has to

mean, ‘no.’”

“Sometimes it involves just interceding and muting the commercials or setting some really solid limits on how much screen time — which is TVs and computers — that kids should have,” Brown added. “Because quite frankly, it’s just not good for them.”

Some parents tend to test the waters of their child’s desire, letting him or her ask several times before giving in to the nag.

In other words, if I don’t let him have

it the first time he asks, the parent reasons, he’ll realize he can’t always get what he wants.

That’s a mistake, says Kevin Turner, a psychologist at the Medical College of Georgia.

Not letting “no” stand for “no” the first time, Turner said, actually reinforces a child’s persistence in nagging.

“What we know about children and parent interactions is that when parents resist for a while and then give in, they actually teach the child to be persistent, more so than if you just gave in,” Turner said. “In other words, it’s easier to correct a child who you give in to after one nag than one you give in to after nine.

“This is a dumb analogy, but if you think about it like a slot machine, if you’re used to a slot machine paying off every time and it suddenly stops paying off, after 10 or 12 times, you’ll quit. If you’re used to it paying off after 10 times, it might take you 100 times to quit.

“So it’s a lot harder to untrain that when we’ve sort of resisted for a while and then given in.”

Turner suggests that many parents also equate the giving of things to their children with quality time spent with them. That can also have dire effects on the family, he said.

“I think parents have traded off buying things in exchange for time,” Turner said.

“I think a lot of parents equate how much they care for their child with what they provide them with as far as material things. So parents will often say, ‘We’ve

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Kevin Turner, MCG psychologist given him everything,’ and they mean that in a literal way.”

Some suggest that parents already are beginning to consider and evaluate the messages being heaped on their kids.

“We can tell for sure that parents are more aware of it,” said Gary Ruskin, executive director of Commercial Alert.

“As we build opposition to the expansion of commercial culture into every nook and cranny of our lives, we see more and more parent interest and we win more and more battles, absolutely.”

Commercial Alert credits itself with leading the charge to stop recent plans by CNN Student News, viewed in 18,000 schools around the country, from including paid sponsorships in its programming.

Commercial Alert sent a letter accompanied by signatures from roughly 50 educators, authors and civic activists to ad agencies, imploring them to resist placing ads on CNN Student News.

In April, officials with AOLTimeWarner, CNN’s parent company, announced that in light of negative public opinion, ads would not air on CNN Student News.

Commercial Alert also has rallied against Channel One, a televised news program that airs daily in as many as 12,000 high school classrooms throughout the country and is laden with advertising.

“This is a time of great overreaching in the advertising/marketing industry,” Ruskin said. “And the pendulum is swinging back against them.”

The Center for a New American Dream offers a downloadable brochure on its Web site (www.newdream.org) that gives tips for parents hoping to circumvent marketing influences on their children.

Even with such tips in hand, however, Brown realizes it’s not an easy road for the typical parent.

“It’s a tough time to be a parent,” Brown said. “I am quite sympathetic to the people who say parents should just do better, because it’s true, we need to set limits. But the marketing and the messages are very, very hard.

“It’s very hard to protect your kids from all these messages and all this marketing that encourages them to want more stuff.”

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18 M E T R O S P I R I T J U L Y 1 1 2 0 0 2

“The main problem is that Americans have almost no legal rights over data about them.�

- Dr. Jason Catlett, president and founder of Junkbusters

Choking on

Spam

By Lisa Jordan

L

ose 30 lbs. forever! Unsecured platinum card! Start growing younger – today!

Smells like spam.

Anyone with an e-mail address — and that’s just about everyone these days – is familiar with the scourge of the Internet known as “spam.”

Spam, or Unsolicited Commercial E-mail (UCE), shows up in inboxes daily, clogging e-mail systems and costing consumers and businesses $7.5 billion per year, according to some estimates.

Unsolicited Commercial E-mail is basically junk mail for your computer, and some e-mail addresses receive upward of 20 pieces a day. With no federal regulations regarding UCE in the United States, that’s 7,280 pieces of mail per year for one person to wade through, discard, or try to opt out of. And if you’re acquainted with the deceitful techniques spammers use, you probably realize just how hard it is to get off their lists.

Most people wonder how spammers get their email address in the first place. Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to visit a pornographic Web site to receive pornographic spam; you just have to surf the Web, visit a chat room, or fill out an online form of some sort. Even if you don’t do any of those things, spammers still obtain e-mail addresses by guessing or by “dictionary spamming” – trying out combinations of common words.

Dr. Jason Catlett, president and founder of Junkbusters Corp. (www.junkbusters.com) admits that most casual Internet users have no idea how to adequately protect their e-mail address and their privacy online. “Even the experts have trouble,” he says. “The main problem is that Americans have almost no legal rights over data about them. We need laws that give stronger consumer rights.”

Catlett’s Junkbusters site promotes privacy and tells consumers how to get rid of unwanted e-mail, telephone calls and mailed advertisements. In his testimony and written statement before Congress, Catlett calls for a federal “opt-in” standard for commercial e-mail. Currently, 25 states have adopted laws regarding UCE, but these have proven largely ineffective because they allow an “opt-out” standard.

Most UCE contains an opt-out message: something along the lines of “You received this email because you are registered at one of our sites.

To unsubscribe, reply to this e-mail with the word ‘Unsubscribe’ in the subject line.” The problem with this method is that it still takes up Internet users’ time, money and resources. In addition, many of the e-mail addresses consumers are supposed to reply to are nonexistent — or worse, actually identify active e-mail addresses and sell them to other spammers.

An opt-in standard, on the other hand, requires solicitors to confirm that a consumer wants to receive advertisements and offers by e-mail, before an ad is even sent; consumers would receive only commercial e-mails they have an interest in.

Most anti-spam groups, notably Junkbusters and Coalition Against Unsolicited Commercial E-mail (CAUCE), advocate the opt-in method. But lobbyists for organizations such as the Direct Marketing Association (DMA) oppose an opt-in standard, because their members would be held accountable for any commercial e-mail sent in error to those who haven’t opted in.

However, DMA Vice President of Government Relations, Jim Conway, concedes that marketing to consumers not interested in certain products is a waste of time. “We don’t want to send things to people who don’t want them, because they don’t want to buy,” he says. “The DMA has an elective preference service. Anyone in the U.S. who does not want to receive direct marketing offers can register. It’s very simple.”

Simple, perhaps, but a quick trip to the DMA’s consumer assistance Web site (www.dmaconsumers.org/consumerassistance.html) reveals

that it’s free to opt out of telemarketing, direct mail advertisements and UCE by mail — but to do it over the Web, there’s a $5 fee. And opting out is only available for two- or five-year periods, so consumers have to remember to opt out again in the future.

The driving force behind the backlash against UCE is the fact that, as of now, responsibility to stop unsolicited e-mail rests on the shoulders of consumers – consumers who didn’t ask for the email in the first place.

And many of these consumers — novice Internet users and minors — don’t know how their personal information is being gathered or used. According to an April 4 article on CNET.com, spammers and even legitimate marketers are using new methods embedded in their UCE messages to track users’ every move on the Web. Combating tracking techniques when users aren’t even aware of them is an uphill battle.

“The best way is to avoid touching any equipment that uses electricity,” Catlett says, only half joking. “After too much spam, many people change their e-mail addresses or give up the Internet entirely. If people aren’t protected, they won’t participate.”

A lack of participation, coupled with ever-present privacy concerns, is hurting e-commerce in a world where users don’t know if products being peddled to them by e-mail are legitimate or not.

“We’re getting lumped together with the tawdry spam that comes (to your inbox),” says Conway.

“That really hurts our members, because we have legitimate offers.” He lists American Express and L.L. Bean among the DMA’s 5,000 companies that offer legitimate e-mail communications to customers.

Another concern when dealing with spam is fraudulent offers. Some UCE advertises illegal pyramid schemes, asks users to make international phone calls to unsubscribe from an e-mail list, or simply advertises products that don’t work.

Conway insists that the DMA is determined to stop fraudulent e-mail communications. “It’s really to our benefit, because people get very upset, and rightly so,” he says.

But even if users don’t get duped out of their money by buying into e-mail scams, there is a cost for UCE – and it’s borne by the consumer.

The time spent reading, deleting or responding to UCE is time that Internet users pay for in connecting to the Internet. And users who check their e-mail by mobile phone, who are often charged a per-word fee, end up paying heavily when spam comes to their inbox.

In Europe, where mobile technology is widely used, the backlash from consumers in the form of a two-year campaign prompted the European Union to pass a law last month prohibiting the sending of UCE in the European Union. United States advocates, such as Catlett, are pushing for similar legislation this side of the Atlantic.

So far, any legislation regarding UCE has been at the state level. Most states have spam laws similar to California’s, where UCE messages must contain opt-out instructions, contact information and labels indicating that the message is an advertisement.

But state-level regulation on UCE brings up the question of jurisdiction. In order for the law to apply in most states, the e-mail must be sent to a resident of the state via a provider’s service or equipment also located in that state. And with forged contact information or a faked point of origin, a single UCE isn’t worth most customers’ or providers’ time spent figuring out whether or not legal action can be pursued.

And with spam growing exponentially at a rapid pace — 50 to 80 percent per year, according to an estimate by Catlett — users are reaching a breaking point.

“Most people don’t even open their spam,” says Catlett. “It’s an unwelcome intrusion whether they’re pushing pornography or printers.”

19 M E T R O

Protecting

Your Inbox from

Spam

● Avoid displaying your e-mail address on public Web sites or forums. ● If you have a Web page, don’t put your e-mail address in a “click to e-mail” link. ● Get an alternative forwarding e-mail address that includes filters to filter out unwanted mail before it arrives at your inbox. ● Common usernames, such as those which use first and last names, are more susceptible to spam attacks than unusual usernames due to “dictionary spamming” – trying out combinations of common words and names. ● Opt out of online e-mail directories. ● Do not reply to “unsubscribe” or “remove” instructions in UCE; many reply addresses are bogus or are receptacles for collecting active e-mail addresses.

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20 M E T R O S P I R I T J U L Y 1 1

Arts

& Entertainment

Tribute Bands Descend on Augusta

BY RHONDA JONES

2 0 0 2

A

n anonymous and incredulous drinking man next to the speakers at Crossroads pointed at the lead singer with the only finger of his right hand he didn’t need to keep his half-full cup from hitting the floor. His eyes were wide.

“He sounds just like Robert Plant!” he said to the first person he put his eyes on. Overcome by the revelation, he turned back to the stage. “Hey, Robert!” he shouted, even though the lead singer’s name is Matt.

He was in the zone. The Zoso zone.

Zoso are a special kind of cover band. They cover only Led Zeppelin. They cover their songs, their looks, their style. They transform themselves into Zeppelin every which way they can.

The frontman tossed his tresses and strutted open-shirted across the stage as though he were the man himself, all the while hitting those glass-shattering Plant notes. At one point the drummer, a ringer for late Zeppelin drummer John Bonham, even held the crowd with a solo.

According to Crossroads’ owner Scott Levine, tribute bands may be just the ticket for a market like Augusta.

The Zoso tickets were $7 that night, which is more than double the usual door price for bar bands – but far less than it would have been had Led Zeppelin themselves strolled into town. Or KISS, or the Dave Matthews Band.

Levine said that, at $65 a pop, not enough people will go. And all the bands know this.

“Metallica will never come to Augusta,” he said.

But even the tributes are a big gamble for someone like him and the other bars that are bringing them in – the Red Lion and Last Call.

Hell’s Bells, an AC/DC tribute band that appeared recently at The Red Lion Pub, didn’t draw much of a crowd.

Managing partner Thomas Conn blamed it on communications. “The marketing could have been better. And being, I guess, that close to the Fourth weekend...”

Conn’s jumping back into the fire, though. He is so confident that Augusta is a good market for these bands, he’s planning to bring in one every three weeks.

How an Originals Band Became a Tribute Band Battery is one of Levine’s preferred tribute acts.

Drummer Laurence Langley said that his band, which got its start in Toronto, Canada, actually slid into the tribute thing at the request of an American agent in the mid1990s. They were called Disaster Area, and they played originals, with a few covers. Some of those were Metallica’s, and that was the lube that facilitated the birth of Battery.

The guys enjoyed making Metallica fans scream, but they didn’t want to give up their own work completely.

So a plot was hatched.

Disaster Area would open for Battery.

That little trick earned them respect that they might not have gotten otherwise. “A lot of the people there appreciated the fact that we wrote our own songs,” Langley said.

Battery And the band enjoys doing both. “Well,” Langley said, “doing your own is more gratifying personally. Doing Metallica is, at the time, a quicker enjoyment. We get a greater response from the crowd. It’s more exciting probably from that respect.”

They were even hand-picked by Metallica themselves as an opening act in 1998 so they could promote a CD of cover material. Battery played Metallica, and Metallica played everyone else.

Langley said Battery were a bit apprehensive at first.

“We weren’t nervous about making mistakes,” Langley said. “We were more nervous about people wanting Metallica to play, that they wouldn’t be disappointed that we were there.”

But, he added, the concert had been well-advertised, and the fans knew what they were getting.

In some cases, the fans are getting more than just familiar sounds and look-alike costuming. Langley said it is possible to go one step further even than being just a tribute band. Some bands are actual “clones.”

A clone band, he said, is an entity that strives to look as much as possible like the band they are emulating, even to the point of having surgery. “Those guys are crazy, some of them,” he said, and proceeded to describe a “Gene Simmons” who’d had the skin under his tongue clipped to increase its length.

Battery doesn’t go that far, Langley said. They dress in black and buy the same kinds of guitars as Metallica, but no surgery for them.

Conn said that, for the Red Lion, appearance is just as

important as the sound. “People want to come see the show, not just hear the music,” he said, adding that the Gene Simmons look-alike is what sold him on Hotter Than Hell.

It’s not just the heavy metal bands that spawn offspring.

Conn’s found a Beatles tribute band also. But since the heavy bands are so much fun, he’s currently searching for a Motley Crüe.

And he’s enjoying it just as much as the patrons. “I saw KISS live twice, so I’m looking forward to seeing Hotter Than Hell come out. I wouldn’t say it’s about reliving old memories, just remembering good times when the bands were back in their prime.

“It’s like a fountain of youth for music lovers.”

If you would like to prepare yourself for Battery’s imminent return to Crossroads, hit www.disasterarea.org.

The Red Lion is bringing Ozzy Osbourne tribute Crazy Train on Aug. 1, and KISS tribute Hotter Than Hell Aug. 22. Paradise City, a Guns ‘N’ Roses tribute band, is coming mid-September, but the date has yet to be finalized.

And Aug. 7, Last Call is bringing The Dave Matthews Cover Band.

See bar listings in Nightlife to call for more information.

MUSIC

21

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Signature Martinis COSMOPOLITAN $6 A refined combination of Skyy Citrus Vodka, Triple Sec and cranberry juice, vigorously shaken and served in a chilled Martini glass coated with lime juice.

Served with a twist.

FUZZY MARTINI $6 Skyy Vodka shaken with Peach Schnapps and strained into a chilled Martini glass with a lemon twist.

GREEN APPLE MARTINI $6 Shaken Skyy Vodka with a splash of Sour Apple Pucker, a touch of Apple Barrel Schnapps, and a hint of cranberry, garnished with a maraschino cherry.

LEMON DROP $6 Absolut Citron with a touch of fresh sweet and sour and and a fresh squeezed lemon, shaken and served in a sugar rimmed glass with a twist.

THE ICE BLUE MARTINI $6 Skyy Citrus Vodka with a splash of Blue Curacoa to give it just the right hue.

Served with a lemon twist.

BABE DE-LUXE CHOCOLATINI $7 Absolut Mandrin and Godiva Chocolate Liqueur shaken with a splash of Grand Marnier. Served in chocolate drizzled Martini glass dusted with chocolate.

CHOCOLATE MARTINI $7 A delicious blend of Skyy Vodka, Godiva Chocolate Liqueur, Godiva White Chocolate Liqueur, a splash of Kahlua, Bailey’s, and cream. Served in a chocolate drizzled Martini glass dusted with chocolate.

CLASSIC MARTINI $7 Bombay Sapphire Gin, a touch of dry vermooth, and a dash of bitters, shaken and served with olives.

CREAMY-TINI $7 Bailey’s and Stoli Vanilla shaken with a splash of cream, chilled, and dusted with chocolate.

ENERGY-TINI $7 A revitalizing concoction of Skyy Vodka and Red Bull shaken with Cointreau and strained into a chilled Martini glass coated with lime juice. Served with a cherry and a twist.

BLUE HAWAIIN: As easy on the pallet as it is on the eyes. Malibu Rum and Blue Curacoa mixed over ice. Topped with pineapple juice and garnished with a cherry and orange slice.

4.5

topped with orange juice and a dash of Galliano. This satisfying drink is completed by floating a splash of Disaronno Amaretto and served with an orange wedge and cherry.

5.0

EURO SPLASH $7 An equal blend of Skyy Citrus and Malibu shaken with Grand Marnier and a splash of cranberry and pineapple juice. Served in a lime coated Martini glass with a twist.

BLUE LAGOON: The tidal wave without the Peach Schnapps. The extra Skyy Citrus will have you swimming. Garnished with a cherry and orange slice.

4.5

HELENA MODJESKA: An inviting mixture of Bombay Sapphire Gin and Galliano accompanied by a dash of Blue Curacoa, shaken and strained into a chilled cocktail glass with an orange wedge.

5.5

OHRANJ MARTINI $7 A summery concoction mixing Stolichnaya Ohranj Vodka with a splash of Cointreau and Orange Curacoa, shaken with vigor, and served with an orange slice.

PURPLE PASSION MARTINI $7 A refreshing mixture of Smirnoff Raspberry Twist shaken with Chambord and Razmatazz with a splash of pineapple juice, garnished with a twist.

COUNT BOZENTA: Skyy Citrus Vodka blended with Disaronno Amaretto, Peach Schnapps, and a mixture of grapefruit and cranberry juice. Garnished with a cherry and a fresh orange slice.

4.5 HYPNOTIC WAVE: The combination of Skyy Citrus and Blue Curacoa along with sweet and sour mix and a splash of club soda will place you in a trance. Garnished with a fresh orange wedge and cherry.4.5

THE 007 $7 Three parts Bombay Sapphire Gin, one part Stolichnaya Vodka and a hint of vermooth with a twist.

MOJITO: A refreshing combination of Bacardi Rum, Myers Dark, Cream de Menthe, and a splash of lime juice stirred over ice. Topped with club soda and garnished with a lime.

4.5

TROPICAL MARTINI $7 The Caribbean in a Martini glass. Skyy Citrus shaken with Malibu Rum and Crème de Banana. Served with a cherry and orange slice.

SILK STOCKINGS: A seductive combination of Cuervo Gold, white Crème de Cacoa, half and half, and two splashes of grenadine, shaken and served in a chilled cocktail glass dusted with chocolate.4.5

Eclectic Cocktails

TIDAL WAVE: Skyy Citrus, Peach Schnapps, Blue Curacoa, and pineapple juice come together to delight the taste buds and your senses. Garnished with a cherry and orange slice.

4.5

CUBA LIBRE: Bacardi Limon and a dash of lime juice combined in a tumbler of ice and topped with cola give new meaning to rum and coke. Garnished with a lime wedge.

4.0 ACAPULCO: Equal portions of Bacardi and Cuervo Gold combined over ice and topped with pineapple and grapefruit juice. 4.5 BETWEEN THE SHEETS: Paul Masson Grande Amber Brandy and Triple Sec liqueur, mixed with orange juice and sweet and sour. A dash of grenadine and Sprite along with a cherry and orange slice complete this tantalizing concoction.

4.5

VENETIAN LAGOON: Blue Curacoa, Skyy Citrus, Sprite, and a dash of grapefruit juice layered in that order in a chilled cocktail glass with a cherry and orange wedge.

4.5 GOLDEN DREAM: Cointreau and Galliano stirred with a dash of cream and topped off with orange juice. Served on the rocks with a cherry and orange slice.

5.0 SOUTHERN SKYY: Skyy Vodka, Sloe Gin, and Southern Comfort stirred over ice and

PARADISE: Bombay Sapphire and Apricot Brandy stirred on the rocks with fresh orange juice make this simple concoction a delight to the senses. Served with a cherry and orange slice.

5.5 PINK PANTHER: A delightful blend of Bombay Sapphire and Crème de Cassis along with orange juice and a hint of dry vermooth, shaken and strained into a chilled cocktail glass with an orange slice.

5.5 THE STORM: An awakening combination Bacardi O Rum, Myers Dark Rum, Bombay Sapphire, and Disaronno Amaretto with a dash of grenadine. Topped off with orange, grapefruit, and pineapple juice accompanied by a cherry and a lime.

5.5 1916: This cocktail is destined to become a classic. Bacardi Rum, cherry liqueur, Grand Marnier, and fresh lime juice, shaken over ice and strained into a chilled cocktail glass garnished with an orange wedge, a cherry, and two lime twists.5.5 THE MORROCAN: A truly intoxicating blend of Bacardi O, Bacardi Limon, and Myers Dark with hearty splashes of Apricot brandy, Orange Curacoa, Blue Curacoa, and Grenadine. A layer of Bacardi 151 is floated on top for fun. Garnished with orange, lemon, and lime wedges. 7.0 SILVER SUNSET: Patron Silver Tequila poured over ice and topped with fresh orange juice and a dash of grenadine provides a refined alternative to the traditional "sunrise". Garnished with an orange wedge.

7.0

Other premium brand liquors may be substituted upon request and are subject to a price increase

706.303.9700

Eclectic Lounge & cocktails 813 Broad

OPEN WED - SAT

S P I R I T J U L Y 1 1 2 0 0 2

22 M E T R O S P I R I T J U L Y 1 1 2 0 0 2

Arts: Visual Arts

Rousing Augusta

By Lisa Jordan

“F

or the most part, anything that aren’t familiar with Rust’s work. you see downtown - unless “Sometimes artworks can be controversial you look in the little nooks just because it is done out of materials which and crannies - is fairly tame,” don’t traditionally get thought of as possible says Augusta artist Ethan Brock. “I don’t materials for art,” Rust says. “For the past even find it interesting or compelling or anyseveral years, I have been working with natuthing, but I guess it’s safe and it’s there.” ral materials such as wood and clay to create What you won’t see in downtown Augusta large architectural-inspired temporary sculpis one of Brock’s pieces. You’re not likely to tures. I get invited to exhibit these large see one of Brian Rust’s installations or works at places like sculpture parks and uniLudovic Goubet’s photography, either. versity campuses. Since they are all done in Why isn’t the Augusta community interestplaces other than Augusta, I am not sure most ed in the work of these artists? people here are even aware of that end of my For Brock, it’s mainly a question of subject artistic work.” matter. He describes one of the works hangRust also says that taking work on the road ing on the wall in his studio, a collage with is part of finding an audience for a particular the precise lines of a quilt: “It’s a base of style of work. “Here in Augusta, my experipornography and wallpaper. And I was basience is that there is a fairly small audience for cally juxtaposing the two to try to create this works that do not easily fit into the illustrative kind of weird effect; you’re struck with just mold,” he says. the color, form, things like that, and it comThat’s a lesson that photographer Ludovic pels you to come closer and then you realize Goubet learned the hard way. When Frenchperhaps what some of this information is.” born Goubet and his wife set up shop on Until you really scruBroad Street to distinize Brock’s work, the play his artistic nude When French-born Goubet material it’s comprised photography, the and his wife set up shop on of escapes you. The work was illhuman forms he’s cut received. “We went Broad Street to display his out are so dismemfrom shop to shop to artistic nude photography, the bered, their original say hi and didn’t get work was ill-received … “We connotation is nearly any smile or welcome lost. Still, displaying his realized, me and my wife, that to the neighborhood work in Augusta has it was not going to work here.” or anything,” says proven to be a problem.

Goubet. “People said, - Ludovic Goubet A few of his pieces ‘No kidding, look at have been pulled from what you are showdisplay due to complaints. And when peoing. This is Augusta.’” ple aren’t complaining, they’re ignoring When Goubet was reported to the police, he Brock’s works. was ordered not to show his nude photo“It’s hard to get any exposure here, because graphs in the window and to put up a sign there’s so few places to show, and then once warning entrants to the gallery that it conyou finally do show, it gets kind of this luketained images that may offend. warm reaction to none,” he says. “Most of the “We did everything we were supposed to be time, it ends up being wallpaper. To 90 perdoing,” he says. “We were open; no one came cent of the places down there, it’s wallpaper. in. First Friday, we have a lot of people come And because of that, you don’t have a big in and we didn’t really have any good drive to produce anything.” (responses) except from two people.

Brian Rust, an associate professor in the “We realized, me and my wife, that it was Department of Fine Arts at Augusta State not going to work here.”

University, agrees that Augusta’s venues for Despite Goubet’s skepticism that Augusta exhibiting artwork, especially artwork of a will ever fully accept more avant-garde art non-traditional nature, are restricted. “The forms, he says, “You can do things to survive kinds of exhibition spaces currently available as an artist.” in Augusta for artists are rather limited,” he Rust retains optimism that Augusta’s art says. “Most venues that show artwork here scene has room for experimental and expresare some version of a commercial establishsive works. “Plenty of opportunities here for ment, and so the artwork must not provoke or improved exhibition venues,” he says. “The distract the people in those venues from their key here is to find ways to have exhibition main consumer activity. spaces available to public viewers where the “Actually, the most unfortunate part of such main focus is the artwork.” commercial venues is that they do not allow for Another option for artists is to turn to the even a decent viewing of the art on display.”

Internet. Photographic documentation of Rust has exhibited in Augusta at places like Rust’s work is posted on his Web site at the Mary Pauline Gallery and at ASU, but www.aug.edu/~brust. Goubet’s work thrives says there are fewer opportunities to exhibit on various sites around the Web. sculpture than there are to show two-dimen“The Internet is the greatest thing ever,” sional work, and because his installations are Goubet says. “For the first time, I really feel typically exhibited in other cities, Augustans like I’m free.”

GOUBET’S GALLERY COMES TO A BAD END.

“EARTHEN BRIDGE” BY BRIAN RUST

WORK BY ETHAN BROCK

23

Arts: Theater

M E T R O

Talking Monkeys and Existentialism Equal Zany Fun at Fort Gordon By Rhonda Jones

S P I R I T J U L Y 1 1 2 0 0 2

"If it hurts, we'll check it out."

Augusta Pain Management

Photo by Steve Walpert

"Something To Feel Good About"

DR. JOHN M. DOWNEY

Bonnie Welder and Robert Schwamberger in a scene from “Universal Language.”

A con-man tries to teach a shy woman the imaginary language of Unamunda – the Universal Language.

A

first glance at the mini-summaries of the playlets that comprise David Ives’ “All in the Timing,” might lead one to believe the theatre had formed an unholy alliance with “Saturday Night Live,” or “Monty Python’s Flying Circus.”

“It just ain’t so, says Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre director Steve Walpert.

“It’s got an improv feel to it, a very spontaneous feel. While it’s kind of a commentary on the world we live in, it’s not really a satire,” he said. “It doesn’t take off on government or current political figures.”

He said “All in the Timing” is a bit above the SNL skits. “It’s more of a stage piece rather than a piece that’s totally consumable. Some of them will make you think. It’s a bit avant-garde, but it’s still fun.”

The pieces range between 10 and 20 minutes, Walpert said, with each act containing three.

Act I “Sure Thing” is about two people who meet in a cafe and find their way through a “conversational minefield.” They’re falling in love, see, and an off-stage bell complicates the already nerve-wracking pitfalls of having a conversation with someone you’re into.

“Words, Words, Words” is about those three monkeys at work producing “Hamlet.” Fortunately, they have all of Infinity to do it. Oh, and they can apparently talk.

“The Universal Language” is about a young woman who stutters and a man who has created a crazy language called Unamunda. As she learns it, they leap through some verbal hoops and manage, somehow, to fall in love.

Act II “Philip Glass Buys a Loaf of Bread” portrays composer Philip Glass trying to buy a loaf of bread while having an existential crisis. It is a “parodic musical vignette in trademark Glassian style.”

Can’t get enough of those existential crises.

“The Philadelphia” is about a young man in a restaurant having “a Philadelphia,” which is not a sandwich, but a weird state in which nothing goes right and he can’t get anything he asks for. Sounds a bit Seinfeldian to me.

“Variations on the Death of Trotsky” is about the Russian revolutionary on his final day, “desperately trying to cope with the mountain-climber’s axe he’s discovered in his head.”

“They are related only in that they all kind of focus on the words,” Walpert said. “It’s a very bright and witty play.

He’s (Ives) very thoughtful in his use of words. Communication is paramount.”

Walpert chose “All in the Timing,” he said, because it’s popular and has enjoyed good reviews. He’s seen “Sure Thing” and “The Philadelphia” performed as solo pieces, but has never experienced the whole thing live.

“We encourage people to come out,” he said. “Sometimes in the summer, theatre isn’t the first thing on people’s minds.” But, he added, it’s a good way to have a fun summer evening out. Nice meal, nice show.

“All in the Timing” will be performed by the Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre on July 12-13, 19-20, 25-27. Dinner begins at 7 p.m.; show starts at 8:00.

Tickets are $30 general admission and $28 for seniors who are 65 and over. For more info, call the box office at 793-8552.

Board Certified

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24 M E T R O S P I R I T

Cinema

J U L Y

“The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course”

Movie Listings

1 1 2 0 0 2

About a Boy (PG-13) — Hugh Grant gives his most

impressively dithery but moving per formance as Will, a smug London bachelor who realizes he is becoming a void.

Women shake him up, but even more a smar t, needy kid (Nicholas Hoult), as the film by Paul and Chris Weitz steps around sitcom traps to be a touchingly funny story of unhappy people muddling upward. Running time: 1 hr., 55 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★ All About the Benjamins (R) — Ice Cube and Mike Epps risk their necks for $20 million in uncut diamonds and a $60 million lot tery ticket. Cube plays Bucum Jackson, a Miami-based bounty hunter with an at titude. He dreams of opening his own private investigation firm. His latest hunt leads him to old foe Reggie Wright (Epps), a slippery con man. Reggie buys a lot tery ticket with numbers supplied to him by his girlfriend (Eva Mendes). Bucum spots Reggie and af ter a way-too-long chase, Reggie escapes. Bucum spots Reggie a few minutes later and the chase is on yet again.

Only this time, they both land smack dab in the middle of a multimillion-dollar diamond heist. Ice Cube may be the mastermind behind "All About the Benjamins," but it's Mike Epps who steals the show. Cast: Ice Cube, Mike Epps, Eva Mendes, Tommy Flanagan, Valarie Rae Miller, Roger Guenveur Smith, Lil' Bow Wow, Carmen Chaplin and Anthony Michael Hall. Running time: 1 hr., 30 mins.

(McCormick) ★★ Blade 2 (R) — Wesley Snipes is Blade. He's a buff leather dude, a half-vampire who hunts vampires with weapons that might give James Bond pause, and with the mar tial moves of a Hong Kong dervish on a spree. There is a vampire aristocracy, their bodies so bleached and pasty you expect them to crumble into talcum powder. And there is a new strain of killer virus monster. Set in a Prague that surpasses Kafka's bad dreams, the movie has a necro-glam ostentation. Kris Kristofferson is Blade's friend, mentor, old daddy-o. The movie is an enjoyable showoff until it turns pompous, runs too long, and tries to find pathos in the decay of the vampire dynasty, as if this were Greek tragedy instead of pop kitsch. Cast: Wesley Snipes, Kris Kristofferson, Ron Perlman, Leonor Varela, Norman Reedus.

Running time: 1 hr., 52 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ The Bourne Identity (PG-13) — Bourne (Mat t Damon) was sent to kill a risky African leader on a yacht, had an at tack of qualms, then plunged overboard with holes in his back. He was saved by fishermen, the captain an amateur doctor who pulls the rounds out of Bourne, and ex tracts an implant that has the number of a Swiss bank account. In an identity fog, though now with money and passpor ts, and reflexively gif ted with all his trained skills — his sour CIA boss, Conklin (Chris Cooper), decides to snuff Bourne as "a malfunctioning $30 million piece of equipment" — Bourne

zips to Paris af ter emptying the deposit box in Zurich. "The Bourne Identity" has the identity of potent enter tainment.

Cast: Mat t Damon, Franka Potente, Chris Cooper, Clive Owen, Brian Cox, Julia Stiles. Running time: 2 hrs. (Elliot t) ★★★1/2 Changing Lanes (R) — A propulsive nerve-biter with genuine human characters, about a yuppie law firm hawk (Ben Affleck) who upsets the precarious life of a volatile working stiff (Samuel L. Jackson), their mutual moral crisis moving on lines that converge jarringly, despite some plot conveniences. New York is seen smar tly by ace English director Roger ("Persuasion") Michell, with Toni Collet te also outstanding as a lucid mistress. 1 hr., 47 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★1/2 Clockstoppers (PG) — Mediocrity will have its way.

That is always clear at a movie as generic and pigeonholed as "Clockstoppers." Jesse Bradford is Zak, a boy who comes upon a time-travel wristwatch per fected by a snarky teen scientist (French Stewar t, fairly excruciating in comedy).

Along with Paula Garces, as a student fresh from South America whose accent wanders through its own time zones, Zak trips around as other people freeze like statues or ooze in slow-mo. The effects have modest wow value. ★1/2

The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course (PG) —

He’s found another croc to rescue! In his movie debut, Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter, believes that he is trying to save a crocodile from some poachers; but this croc has swallowed a missing satellite beacon. Irwin soon becomes involved with CIA agents looking for the top-secret piece of spy equipment. Cast: Steve Irwin, Terri Irwin.

Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood (PG-13) — Successful playwright Sidda (Sandra Bullock), in an

interview in Time magazine, suggests that her difficult childhood was due largely to her mother, Vivi (Ellen Burstyn). An angry phone call and a few let ters later, the two are estranged. Time for the Ya-Ya Sisterhood to step in — four women bound in friendship since girlhood, led by Vivi. They make a secret trip to New York, where, with the aid of Sidda's boyfriend Connor (Angus MacFadyen), they drug Sidda, spirit her down South and establish her in an outpost near her family's estate. There she is to pore over their scrapbook, "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood," af ter which she will understand why her mother can be such an impossible shrew. The "Divine Secret's" mission: a wallow in greeting-card sentimentality, a bath in bathos. Cast: Sandra Bullock, Ellen Burstyn, Fionnula Flanagan, Ashley Judd, Shirley Knight, Maggie Smith, James Garner. Running time: 1 hr., 56 mins. (Salm) ★1/2 The Flintstones: Viva Rock Vegas (PG) — The Flintstones once again appear on the big screen in a live

“Reign of Fire”

RATINGS

★★★★ — Excellent.

action flick: This one’s a prequel to 1994’s “The Flintstones” and reveals the untold story of how Barney and Fred meet and fall in love with Bet ty and Wilma, respectively, at a bronto burger joint. A scheming rich boy with a plan to lure Wilma away from Fred offers the gang a free trip to Rock Vegas, which they can’t refuse. Despite the kid-friendly leanings of a live-action car toon world, there are still plenty of double entendres for the adults. Cast: Mark Addy, Stephen Baldwin, Jane Krakowski, Kristen Johnson, Thomas Gibson.

Running time: 1 hr., 31 mins.

Halloween: Resurrection (R) — Jamie Lee Cur tis makes an appearance once again in the eighth film in the "Halloween" series. This time, six teens decide to host a live Internet chat in the house where Michael Myers grew up, stirring up evil. Cast: Jamie Lee Cur tis, Tyra Banks, Brad Loree.

Hey Arnold! The Movie (PG) — This popular animated Nickelodeon character takes to the big screen with his neighborhood pals. Arnold and his friends have maintained a close-knit group while living in their big-city neighborhood, but when a greedy developer threatens to turn the neighborhood into a giant "mall-plex," it’s up to the kids to stop him before it’s too late. Cast: Craig Bar tlet t, Spencer Klein, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Jamil Walker Smith.

High Crimes (PG-13) — Morgan Freeman, wry old acting master, carries much of this taut but implausible thriller, which involves military cover-ups and a chilling trial, though early clues harm the whopper finish. Carl Franklin also got good work from Ashley Judd, Jim Caviezel, Amanda Peet and Adam Scot t. Running time: 1 hr., 47 mins. (Elliot t) ★★1/2 Ice Age (PG) — Most of "Ice Age" is about a lippy sloth named Sid, voiced by John Leguizamo. (Is there a less sloth-like actor alive?) Fleeing the advancing polar ice cap, he tries fiercely to bond with a hairy mammoth, Manfred (Ray Romano) and even a saber-toothed tiger, Diego (Denis Leary). Sure enough, Sid, Manfred and Diego rescue a human baby from marauding saber-toothed tigers. That's the story: the three travelers, each way ahead of the evolutionary curve with their jokes, and the papoose-like human with big eyes, and the pursuing big cats, who expect Diego to betray his new companions. There is a clima x, so safely predictable you won't find your temperature budging. "Ice Age" will probably get enough kids smiling to earn its big cost back, and then some. Cast: Ray Romano, John Leguizamo, Denis Leary, Goran Visnjic, Jack Black, Tara Strong. Running time: 1 hr., 24 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Juwanna Mann (PG-13) — Miguel A. Nunez Jr. is Jamal. The vain, preening NBA star is suspended for a burst of irate mooning and then full-frontal exposure on cour t.

And then — inspired by a young girl whose love of the game moves him — he becomes Juwanna, a fake female, who fires up a women's pro team. Vivica A. Fox is the team's reigning beauty, on whom Jamal has a cover t crush. The cour t action is all high points, no game. Gender comedy becomes a ruthless reduction of both sexes. Director Jesse Vaughan came from music videos, and should probably return. Hectic, vapid, almost witless, "Juwanna Mann" keeps jammin' across the goofs, then milking inane sentiment before stumbling to a blooper reel that is no different than the preceding, inept movie. Cast: Miguel A. Nunez Jr., Kevin Pollak, Vivica A. Fox, Ginuwine, Tommy Davidson. Running time: 1 hr., 26 mins. (Elliot t) ★ Like Mike (PG) — The rapper Lil Bow Wow plays 14year-old Calvin Cambridge, one of the older residents in an L.A. orphanage. Calvin has two wishes — to find parents who love him and to play in the NBA like his idol, Michael Jordan. Then one day, Calvin's only adult ally, Sister Theresa (Anne Meara), discovers an old pair of sneakers that once

★★★— Worthy.

★★ — Mixed.

★ — Poor.

0— Not worthy.

belonged to Michael Jordan. Calvin tries them on, and they are a per fect fit. The nex t day, Calvin's dreams begin to materialize. He meets one of his idols, basketball superstar Tracey Reynolds (Morris Chestnut), during a half time contest at a Los Angeles Knights game. Calvin makes a wish to be "like Mike" and suddenly displays moves reminiscent of Jordan. He is quickly signed by the Knights, and both he and new teammate Tracey go on a journey of self-discovery.

Cast: Lil Bow Wow, Morris Chestnut, Jonathan Lipnicki, Brenda Song, Crispin Glover, Anne Meara and Eugene Levy.

Running time: 1 hr., 30 mins. (McCormick) ★★★ Lilo & Stitch (PG) — A cute Disney 'toon made in Florida but set in Hawaii, where darling Lilo turns a space crit ter into a pet. The animation is not computerized and has lovely watercolor effects, though the plot, voicework, Elvis tunes and product plugs are generically New Disney, not of Walt caliber. Running time: 1 hr., 20 min. (Elliot t) ★★1/2 The Lord of the Rings (PG-13) — Simply saying the title is a verbal project. Watching the film for three hours is like hearing Wagner's Ring Cycle remastered by a genius of the kazoo — the concepts remain grandiose, but the music gets rather oopsy. The movie is visually spectacular, a feast from the kitsch kitchen. The story is a quest to return "the ring of power" to its bir thplace "in the fire of Mount Doom." The opening is not a movie launch, it's a franchise arrival, a hugely expensive gamble that the aging Tolkien mob can be whopper-welded to new crowds. The sights are ga-ga, but the storytelling gets fairly turgid. As with the last "Star Wars" picture, we detect a team of imagineers stretching their plot like a Goliath of taffy — tempting us, teasing us, set ting us up for future box-office kills. If you just got ta get killed that way, go for it. Cast: Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Christopher Lee, Viggo Mor tensen, Cate Blanchet t, Sean Astin, Liv Tyler, Ian Holm, Sean Bean.

Running time: 3 hrs. (Elliot t) ★★ Men in Black 2 (PG-13) — Will Smith (very post"Ali") and Tommy Lee Jones (looking aged and bored) return as the alien-busting men in black, in a movie stuffed with crit ters and special effects, like a vast expansion of a Mad magazine parody. Rosario Dawson is a decal of innocence, Lara Flynn Boyle a creepy space witch, the pug dog gets more lines, the fun is rather oppressive even at 82 minutes.

Cast: Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Rosario Dawson, Lara Flynn Boyle. Running time: 1 hr., 22 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Minority Report (PG-13) — "Minority Repor t" is a sci-fi thriller set in one of those futures (2054) most of us hope never to endure. At the front edge is John Ander ton (Tom Cruise), head of Pre-Crime. He works in a tech hive called the Temple, where three clairvoyants float in a tank like nearly comatose dolphins, feeding their pre-vision of impending murders to a big computer screen. Ander ton assembles the clues, then leads the police team to arrest the presumptively guilty. Once Ander ton is himself accused of being a future killer, he abducts one of the "pre-cog" floaters (Samantha Mor ton). "Minority Repor t" has a kind of ugly beauty and, in its central storm of murk and rush, the suction of a compelling nightmare. Cast: Tom Cruise, Samantha Mor ton, Lois Smith, Peter Stormare, Ma x Von Sydow, Tim Blake Nelson. Running time: 2 hrs., 15 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Mr. Deeds (PG-13) — is an update or takeoff on the 1936 Frank Capra hit "Mr. Deeds Goes to Town." In that, Gary Cooper was a gentle, gallant rube who inherits a fortune, confounds the city slickers and radiates fuzzy ideals, while Depression audiences again got to ogle the idle (but frisky) rich. Now Adam Sandler is Longfellow Deeds, who inherits $40 billion from a genial old flake (Harve Presnell).

Peter Gallagher is a fairly standard corporate wheeler as the sharpie running the vast estate. But as star repor ter Babe,

continued on page 26

25 National Science Center's Fort Discovery Presents

M E T R O S P I R I T J U L Y

June 29 thru Sept. 30, 2002

1 1

Fort Discovery's Knox Gallery

2 0 0 2

Open During Regular Operating Hours The Knox Gallery becomes a virtual playground where visitors can snowboard, play basketball, ice hockey and team volleyball . . . even go rowing . . . without leaving the science center!

Get into the Groove with the Heart Guy Have Fun at the Activity Table / Demo Cart Enjoy Special Entertainment and Presentations

Augusta Mall 3450 Wrightsboro Road, Augusta Ga 30909

706-733-4000

The

FREE! With Paid General Admission to Fort Discovery

SMART toPlace Have FUN!

One Seventh Street on Riverwalk For more information call

706.821.0200 or 800.325.5445 NationalScienceCenter.org Hours: Mon.-Sat. 10am-5pm / Sun. noon - 5pm $8 Adult • $6 Children / Seniors / Active Military • Members Free

BACK-TO-SCHOOL NIGHT AT LAKE OLMSTEAD STADIUM

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FRIDAY, JULY 19TH AT 7:15 PM The first 750 kids (14 & under) will receive a free back-to-school backpack as they enter the gate.

Each child will also receive a free GreenJackets pen/pencil/ruler set. The night is sponsored by the USDA Forest Service, Georgia Forestry Commission, Fox 54, and Kicks 99! For Tickets call 736-7889!

26 continued from page 24 M E T R O S P I R I T J U L Y 1 1 2 0 0 2

Winona Ryder is game and slyly charming. The real ace is John Tur turro as Deed's new manservant, Emilio. It's a fond update and funny comedy, even making good use of John McEnroe (still cocky) and the Rev. Al Sharpton (dit to). Cast: Adam Sandler, John Tur turro, Winona Ryder, Peter Gallagher, Jared Harris, Erick Avari, Harve Presnell. Running time: 1 hr., 31 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★ The New Guy (PG-13) — Af ter sealing his uncool reputation with an embarrassing ninth-grade accident, a high-school student is expelled and winds up in jail. While incarcerated, his cellmate coaches him into changing his image. Upon his release, he decides to switch schools and work on his new image as a cool kid. All goes well until his primary nemesis follows him to the new school. Cast: DJ Qualls, Eddie Griffin, Eliza Dushku, Lyle Lovet t, Zooey Deschanel.

Panic Room (R) — Not since Hitchcock's "Rear Window" has a New York location been used more suspensefully than in "Panic Room." This New York home is a lavish town house that includes a "panic room," a top-floor security crib. Breaking into the seemingly vacant house on a stormy evening are three men who expect an easy job. Most surprised by this intrusion are Jodie Foster and her onscreen daughter, played by Kristen Stewar t. They flee to the panic room to find a phone that doesn't work and watch the frustrated crooks on the security screens. "Panic Room" is a cold sweat, fevered by frantic impulses. It's terrific entertainment. Cast: Jodie Foster, Forest Whitaker, Dwight Yoakam, Kristen Stewar t, Patrick Bauchau, Jared Leto.

Running time: 1 hr., 48 mins. ★★★★ Pokemon 2 (G) — The second full-length movie based on the popular car toon television series follows Ash, a young, baseball-capped pokemon trainer, and pals (pokemon and otherwise) as he tries to stop a vicious collector from trapping three rare pokemon. As the villain sets his plan in motion, natural disasters sprout up all over the globe, and only then does Ash realize he’s been chosen to save the Ear th from cer tain doom. Tolerable for parents, enjoyable for pokemon-obsessed youth. Cast: Veronica Taylor, Ikue Otani, Megumi Hayashibara, Tomokazu Seki. Running time: 1 hr., 49 mins.

The Powerpuff Girls Movie (PG) — The three saucer-eyed cuties (Bubbles, Blossom and But tercup), created by the benign but easily abstracted Professor Utonium in retro-cool Townsville, discover their "freakish powers" in a school game of tag, at first violently destructive (though the mayhem is merry). Tar takovsky's team has some freakish powers of visual charm, but the five writers slip into the modern rut of narrative banality. There is some kid-wor thy

diversion here, but for me (and for many?) the high point of the preview was a teaser trailer for the nex t Harry Pot ter movie, coming Nov. 15. Cast: Cathy Cavadini, Tara Charendoff, E.G. Daily. Running time: 1 hr. 27 min. (Elliot t) ★★1/2 Reign of Fire (PG-13) — In a post-apocalyptic England, a group of fire-breathing dragons has awakened af ter centuries of hibernation. An American militia leader, played by Mat thew McConaughey, and London’s fire chief (Christian Bale) must team up to save London and slay the queen dragon. Plenty of special effects. Cast: Christian Bale, Mat thew McConaughey, Gerard Butler.

Road to Perdition (R) — Af ter his wife and one of his sons are brutally murdered, Depression-era hit man Michael O’Sullivan and his remaining son go on the run and seek revenge for the deaths of their loved ones. As O’Sullivan, Tom Hanks depar ts from some of his more lighthear ted roles to play the dark character brought to life from Ma x Allan Collins’ 1998 comic. Cast: Tom Hanks, Jude Law, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Paul Newman.

The Rookie (G) — Dennis Quaid at 47 is a bet ter actor than ever in "The Rookie." He plays Jimmy Morris, who gets a late chance to become a baseball star. Morris is a lit tle league baseball coach in Texas, where football is king. He regrets he gave up on his at tempt to become a star bigleague pitcher. When his lit tle league boys urge him to get back into pitching, he does, and tries to get into the show again. It's a Disney movie, G-rated, with safe lingo, gentle humor, buddy bonding and a firm net of family values. What works about "The Rookie" is the grounded verity of its places and people. Cast: Dennis Quaid, Rachel Griffiths, Brian Cox, Beth Grant, Angus T. Jones. Running time: 2 hrs., 9 mins. (Elliot t) ★★1/2 Scooby Doo (PG) — is derived from the longest-running TV car toon show (beginning in 1969 on CBS), and is mostly set in an island theme park. The 'toon gang loved by their TV fans — ginchy-dish Daphne, plain but brainy Velma, blond ego dude Fred (author of "Fred on Fred"), grinning par ty dude Shaggy — are now played by actors locked into onenote roles. Great Dane hero dog Scooby appears computer generated. They go to Spooky Island to solve a criminal conspiracy, where special effects and cute theme park crit ters whiz by and the top villain is revealed to be ... a puppy. This is one lollipop of a movie, OK for the 4 to 9-year-olds who like the TV show. 1 hr., 23 mins. ★★ The Scorpion King (PG-13) — The Rock (Dwayne Douglas Johnson) plays Mathayus "the Akkadian." Up nor th are hairy Vikings, or Visigoths, or Who, but deser t lands, including sinful Gomorrah, are ruled by the crazed tyrant Memnon (Steven Brand). Mathayus leads the tribal remnant

THE CAST OF

“Halloween: Resurrection”

of free humans against him. First, Rock abducts and wins over the mean guy's sorceress (Kelly Hu). She joins him, a camel, a cute scamp, a silly sidekick and a vast dude who should be called the Meat (Michael Clarke Duncan of "The Green Mile"). The movie has epic sand, computerized vistas, harems of buff women, ex treme violence dry-cleaned of blood, lines that roll off the tongue like bricks, and costumes wor thy of an old DeMille show. The pulp purity goes back before silent films and is breezy fun on a toy-macho level.

Cast: The Rock, Steven Brand, Michael Clarke Duncan, Kelly Hu, Bernard Hu. Running time: 1 hr., 32 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Spider-Man (PG-13) — Sweetly dorky Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire) is bit ten by a new form of lab spider on a school trip. He morphs into a speed master with arachnid powers, but keeps his real identity masked from the girl literally nex t door, Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst). SpiderMan casts webs from his hand, climbs and leaps around New York and bat tles a capitalist nut turned Green Goblin (Willem Dafoe). Always sidelined is the nut's son, Peter's best friend, Harry (James Franco). The film is high-craf ted and amusing, though the POW! style so right for Marvel pages can be numbing in this tech-loaded, hypersonic approach. "Spider-Man" has the heat of a newborn franchise.

The costumed hero finally makes a brilliant match with Old Glory, in a gleaming Manhat tan. Cast: Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, Willem Dafoe, James Franco, Cliff Rober tson, Rosemary Harris. Running time: 2 hrs. (Elliot t) ★★★

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (PG) — This is No. 5 in the series and is visually spectacular

(entirely filmed in digital, and projected that way in some theaters). It moves swif tly and has action payoffs, but George Lucas is still a turgid storyteller, and stiff dialogue drags the actors down to mere plot function too of ten. Ewan McGregor seems to be coming into his own as wise ObiWan. 2 hr., 23 mins. (Elliot t) ★★1/2 The Sum of All Fears (PG-13) — Another morbid Tom Clancy nightmare of big power and dire danger (the nuclear devil unleashed), with a trivial romance trampled by politics and spy games. Phil Alden Robinson directed with spruce if pompous flair, and the nerve-raked cast has Ben Affleck as the hero, Morgan Freeman, Alan Bates, James Cromwell, Liev Schreiber and (ace as the Russian prez) Ciaran Hinds. Running time: 2 hrs. (Elliot t) ★★★ —Capsules compiled from movie reviews written by David Elliott, film critic for The San Diego Union-Tribune and other staff writers.

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Cinema: Close-Up

Christian Bale Discusses “Reign of Fire”

“R

eign of Fire” pulls off a pretty neat trick, managing to be both medieval and futuristic. This sci-fi fantasy stars Christian Bale in the central human role, although the film’s computer-generated dragons routinely upstage him.

Bale plays a London fire chief whose construction-engineer mother accidentally awakens a slumbering dragon in modern-day England.

For the next 20 years, the beast’s rapidly breeding offspring decimate most of the planet.

Teamed with a hotshot American dragon slayer, played by Matthew McConaughey, Bale’s character must defeat the beasts to save humanity. The Welsh-born Bale shot to prominence at 13 with his starring role in Steven Spielberg’s 1987 film, “Empire of the Sun.” Since then, the 28-year-old actor has jumped with surprising ease between Shakespeare, musicals and even the depraved thriller, “American Psycho.”

Q. How did you maintain such a high level of energy on the “Reign of Fire” set to play such an intense character?

A. That’s my job, you know. With any kind of movie, even much smaller, character-driven pieces, you still have to rise to the occasion.

It’s just essential, really, and for this movie it was really important that the characters are engaging and interesting enough to carry you through it.

We are asking an audience to look at dragons, to believe in them, so you have to make sure that there’s a sort of dirtiness and a reality to the setting and the characters involved. That was the main concern for me in making this movie. I hadn’t seen a decent dragon movie before, one where they’re not singing or talking.

Q. Was it tough at all keeping a straight face when Matthew McConaughey was playing his wildly overzealous character?

A. Well, I think it’s always a good idea to not take ourselves too seriously. As I see it, in my job you really have to deny yourself an awful lot of reactions that you would normally have. There are so many scenes where you have to be emotional or whatever, and you may really not feel like that at all. It doesn’t mean that you don’t have laughs. Of course you do, and sometimes real big ones.

Q. Was there a moment like that which was just too funny to stay in character?

A. If you just think about the initial concept: What are we looking at? We’re looking at thin air. Before seeing the movie, I had seen artists’ renderings of the dragons, but on the set, I’m staring at nothing, essentially. Is this a job for a full-grown man? Really? No, it’s not at all, but heck I enjoy it anyway.

Q. So you take pride in staying in character. Which of those straight-faced moments are you most proud of?

A. There’s one that ended up in the movie, a

M E T R O

By Joey Berlin fight sequence between myself and Matthew. I didn’t realize it while we were filming it, but I really get trounced in the fight. We decided, the both of us, to really just go for it in hopes of not having to do too many takes. A few punches were landed, but the principle one was his head-butt to me. He head-butts me very, very hard in that scene and I dropped on the spot.

Then I got back up and we kept swinging, and we got through the scene. It ended up fantastic.

Q. Not every actor who starts as young as you manages to keep a career going. What is your secret?

A. Firstly, I think I was very nicely spoiled with the character that I played in “Empire of the Sun.” It was a character part rather than a generic teen-ager role. I never had any parts which relied upon being the high school guy or anything like that. In my mind, that’s the primary reason, because there wasn’t any time when I went from being the cute kid to suddenly sort of an ugly adolescent, and unnerving people with that.

Q. Are you confident that you can play any role, or do you get scripts that you know are wrong for you?

A. Absolutely. There have been a number of times when I’ve gone to meet a director for a script, but I’ve said to them, “I love it, this is fantastic, but I’m not the right person for this.”

But I do want to meet with them and talk about it because I find that enjoyable. I’m very inter-

S P I R I T J U L Y 1 1 2 0 0 2

ested in how scripts develop and all the preparation before a movie gets made.

Q. Your character in “Reign of Fire” reenacts a scene from “Star Wars.” You must have been thinking, “I cannot believe I get paid to do this!”

A. I think that every day that I’m on the set, really, sometimes because I’m enjoying it and other times because I’m really not. It’s at the same time a fantastic profession and a really, truly silly one as well, when you look at it with clear eyes. But, yeah, that was really enjoyable.

I’ve still got the “Star Wars” figures from when I was a kid and everything. I had played that scene many times before, as a child.

Cinema: Review

Road to Perdition

S

ubtlety is not one of Sam Mendes’ strong suits. The British director, who garnered a name for himself mounting stage productions, showcased his unabashed taste for the dramatic with an impressive and auspicious screen debut in “American Beauty.” Mendes’ 1999 Best Picture-winning ode to suburban dysfunction was an uncanny combination of overwrought symbolism and affecting storytelling. From the over-the-top but impressive performances (namely Kevin Spacey and Annette Bening dove into their characters with a bit too much

By Rachel Deahl gumption at times) to the lingering auteur shots which seem to announce the film as Oscar material (it’s hard to know whether to appreciate Mendes’ shot of that dancing plastic bag or write it off as ostentatious bullshit), “American Beauty” used its clichés successfully and created a provocative final cut. In his sophomore effort, “Road to Perdition,” Mendes proves that he is a man of consistency, offering up another overwrought yet stirring film.

Based on the graphic novel of the same name, “Perdition” is a heartfelt story about fathers and sons set against the backdrop of 1930s gangland violence.

Tom Hanks stars as Michael Sullivan, a stoic hitman/family man who works for a powerful Irish mob boss named John Rooney (Paul Newman). Ruling over his “family” with wisdom and compassion, Rooney looks after Michael as if her were flesh and blood while maintaining a troubling relationship with his own son, Connor (Daniel Craig). A more calculating version of Sonny Corleone, Connor is greedy and unpredictable (always a dangerous combination in the mafia). Connor’s maverick nature, and

disregard for seemingly everyone but himself, comes to the fore after Michael’s son witnesses “a job.” Hiding in the back seat of his father’s Buick, thirteen-year-old Michael Jr. (Tyler Hoechlin), sneaks off and watches as Connor and his dad gun down one of their former associates. Seizing on the mishap as a reason to take out his father’s beloved surrogate son, Connor attempts to kill Michael and his family but manages to only wipe out his wife (Jennifer Jason Leigh) and youngest son.

What ensues is an unusual road trip as Michael Sr. and Jr. go on the lam, with Hanks’s hitman trying to avenge the deaths of his family and make a new life for his son without falling victim to the sniper who’s been put on his tail (Jude Law playing a mangy-looking killer who photographs his victims while they’re dying).

Slow going in its early parts, “Perdition” picks up steam rather quickly and Mendes manages to work his film into a powerful drama about what it means to be a father and what it means to be a son. Much of the mafia business here looks familiar but Mendes draws momentum from the parallel and over-

lapping relationships between his two central two father-son teams: the Sullivans and Rooneys. Shot with the similarly showy style he demonstrated in “American Beauty,” “Perdition” is pieced together like a slide show of still-life paintings. And while Mendes shows little control with his camera (his direction is as grandiose as his storytelling), the effect is often no less striking for it.

From slow zooms to silent hits (in one of his more flashy shots, Mendes displays the aftermath of a gunshot wound to head in a slowly moving mirrored bathroom door), Mendes deserves credit for offering up distinguishing images of common screen fare.

Aside from the flashy camerawork though, the most memorable elements of “Perdition” come through in its simplest moments. Monologues about loyalty, retribution and family (often delivered by Paul Newman, who gives one of the finest performances of his older years), hit home as Mendes manages once again to use his overt direction to create a quietly powerful film.

28 M E T R O S P I R I T J U L Y 1 1 2 0 0 2

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REGAL AUGUSTA EXCHANGE 20 Movies Good 7/12 - 7/18 Road to Perdition (R) Fri-Sat: 12:50, 1:25, 4:15, 4:45, 7:00, 7:30, 9:40, 10:10, 12:25; Sun-Thur: 12:50, 1:25, 4:15, 4:45, 7:00, 7:30, 9:40, 10:10 Reign of Fire (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 1:05, 1:40, 3:40, 4:05, 7:10, 7:40, 9:35, 10:05, 11:55, 12:30; Sun-Thur: 1:05, 1:40, 3:40, 4:05, 7:10, 7:40, 9:35, 10:05 Halloween: Resurrection (R) Fri-Sat: 1:20, 3:30, 5:40, 7:55, 10:30, 12:40; Sun-Thur: 1:20, 3:30, 5:40, 7:55, 10:30 Crocodile Hunter (PG) Fri-Sat: 12:00, 2:25, 4:55, 7:20, 10:00, 12:15; Sun-Thur: 12:00, 2:25, 4:55, 7:20, 10:00 Men in Black 2 (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:30, 1:00, 2:45, 3:15, 4:55, 5:25, 7:10, 7:40, 8:10, 9:20, 9:50, 10:20, 11:35, 12:05; SunThur: 12:30, 1:00, 2:45, 3:15, 4:55, 5:25, 7:10, 7:40, 8:10, 9:20, 9:50, 10:20 Powerpuff Girls (PG) 12:05, 2:10 Like Mike (PG) Fri-Sat: 12:30, 3:55, 6:55, 9:45, 12:10; Sun-Thur: 12:30, 3:55, 6:55, 9:45 Mr. Deeds (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:55, 4:00, 6:50, 9:10, 11:40; Sun-Thur: 12:55, 4:00, 6:50, 9:10 Hey Arnold (PG) 12:30, 2:35 Lilo & Stitch (PG) Fri-Sat: 12:10, 12:40, 2:20, 2:50, 4:30, 5:10, 7:35, 9:35, 11:45; Sun-Thur: 12:10, 12:40, 2:20, 2:50, 4:30, 5:10, 7:35, 9:35 Minority Report (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 1:05, 4:15, 7:25, 10:40, 11:30; Sun-Thur: 1:05, 4:15, 7:25, 10:40 Juwanna Mann (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:20, 2:30, 4:50, 7:50, 10:15, 12:40; Sun-Thur: 12:20, 2:30, 4:50, 7:50, 10:15 Scooby Doo (PG) Fri-Sat: 12:25, 2:40, 4:40, 7:00, 9:10, 11:45; Sun-Thur: 2:25, 2:40, 4:40, 7:00, 9:10 The Bourne Identity (PG-13) 12:45, 3:50, 7:15, 10:15 Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood (PG-13) 5:05, 7:45, 10:25 Sum of All Fears (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 1:15, 4:10, 7:05, 9:55, 12:25; Sun-Thur: 1:15, 4:10, 7:05, 9:55 Star Wars Episode II (PG) 1:10, 4:20, 7:30, 10:45 Spider-Man (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 4:45, 7:25, 10:20, 12:35; Sun-Thur: 4:45, 7:25, 10:20 EVANS 12 CINEMAS Movies Good 7/12 - 7/18 Reign of Fire (PG-13) 1:50, 4:20, 7:00, 9:25 Road to Perdition (R) 2:20, 4:40, 7:20, 9:50 Crocodile Hunter (PG) 1:15, 3:15, 5:15, 7:15, 9:15 Halloween: Resurrection (R) 3:30, 5:30,

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MASTERS 7 CINEMAS Movies Good 7/12 - 7/18 Reign of Fire (PG-13) 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 9:30 Crocodile Hunter (PG) 1:15, 3:15, 5:15, 7:15, 9:15 Halloween: Resurrection (R) 3:30, 5:30, 7:30, 9:45 Men in Black 2 (PG-13) 1:10, 3:10, 5:10, 7:10, 9:10 Powerpuff Girls (PG) 1:30 Like Mike (PG) 1:05, 3:05, 5:05, 7:05, 9:05 Mr. Deeds (PG-13) 1:25, 3:25, 5:25, 7:25, 9:25 Hey Arnold (PG) 1:05, 3:05, 5:05, 7:05 Lilo & Stitch (PG) 1:20, 3:20, 5:20, 7:20, 9:20 REGAL 12 CINEMAS Movies Good 7/12 - 7/18 High Crimes (PG-13) 1:55, 4:30, 7:10, 9:40 Ice Age (PG) 2:10, 4:55, 7:35, 9:50 Changing Lanes (R) 2:05, 5:05, 7:30, 9:50 The Rookie (G) 2:00, 4:35, 7:05, 9:35 About a Boy (PG-13) 2:15, 4:35, 7:25, 10:00 The New Guy (PG-13) 2:20, 4:45, 7:45, 9:55 Clockstoppers (PG) 2:40, 5:15, 7:40, 10:05 Panic Room (R) 2:00, 4:40, 7:15, 9:55 The Scorpion King (PG-13) 2:35, 4:55, 7:00, 9:30 Blade 2 (R) 2:25, 4:50, 7:20, 9:45 All About the Benjamins (R) 2:30, 5:10, 7:50, 10:10 The Lord of the Rings (PG-13) 1:50, 5:00, 8:15

Movie listings are subject to change without notice.

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7:30, 9:30 Men in Black 2 (PG-13) 12:45, 1:45, 2:45, 3:45, 4:45, 5:45, 6:45, 7:45, 8:45, 9:45 Powerpuff Girls (PG) 1:00, 3:00 Like Mike (PG) 12:40, 2:50, 4:55, 7:05, 9:15 Mr. Deeds (PG-13) 1:15, 3:25, 5:35, 7:40, 9:55 Hey Arnold (PG) 1:30 Lilo & Stitch (PG) 12:30, 2:30, 4:30, 6:30, 8:30 Minority Report (PG-13) 1:05, 4:05, 6:55, 9:40 The Bourne Identity (PG-13) 4:50, 7:25, 10:00 Scooby Doo (PG) 1:10, 3:10, 5:10, 7:10, 9:10 Pokemon 2 (G) Tues, Thurs: 10:30 a.m.

Flintstones: Viva Rock Vegas (PG) Tues, Thurs: 10:30 a.m.

Sum of All Fears (PG-13) 1:15, 4:15, 7:15, 9:45 Star Wars Episode II (PG) 1:05, 4:05, 7:05, 9:55 Spider-Man (PG-13) 4:15, 7:15

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M E T R O S P I R I T J U L Y 1 1 2 0 0 2

Arts

Auditions MEN’S A CAPELLA QUARTET will hold auditions for a lead singer (first tenor). Quar tet sings a broad range of music, including jazz, do-wop, barbershop and contemporar y. Call 860-8539.

THE AUGUSTA PLAYERS will hold auditions for “The King and I” July 11, 20 and 25. All auditions held at 7 p.m., except July 20 auditions, which will be held at 10 a.m. and are the only auditions open to children as well as adults.

Held at St. John United Methodist Church. Audition consists of a prepared vocal solo and a cold reading. Accompanist provided. Per formance dates scheduled for September 2529. Call 826-4707 for more information.

THE AUGUSTA CONCERT BAND holds auditions for new members by appointment. To schedule, call 202-0091.

Education INTRODUCTION TO DRAWING WORKSHOP Saturdays, July 13-27 at the Ger trude Herber t Institute of Ar t’s WalkerMackenzie Studio. Open to adults and teens. Explore proportion, perspective and value using a variety of media. Fee is $80 for non-members and $72 for members. To register, call the Ger trude Herber t Institute of Ar t at 722-5495.

ARTS INFUSION CONFERENCE July 25-27 at Davidson Fine Ar ts School. Teachers are encouraged to at tend and learn how to integrate the ar ts into the classroom. Georgia teachers receive two staff development units. To register, call 826-4702, ex t. 3 or visit www.augustaar ts.com.

“DRIP, DRIP, SPLATTER!” FAMILY WORKSHOP at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art. Held July 13, 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Come in old clothes and explore abstract expressionism outdoors. Open to children ages 5-11 accompanied by an adult. $7 per family fee includes one adult and one child; $1 fee for each additional child. Call 722-5465 for more information.

“WATERCOLOR EXCITEMENT WITH INK, SESSION I” adult/teen workshop at the Ger trude Herber t Institute of Ar t. Held July 24, 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Students will apply tex turing techniques as they render trees, still life, transparency, fur and feathers. $55 fee. Call 722-5465 for info.

Exhibitions

BRIAN STEWART exhibits at the Metro Coffeehouse throughout July. For more information, call 722-6468.

AT WARE’S FOLLY AND THE WALKER-MACKENZIE STUDIO through August 2: “If These Walls Could Talk,” “Impressions of the Print: Recent Works by Alex Murawski and Tom Hammond,” “Ger trude Herber t Youth and Adult Student Exhibit.” For more information, call the Ger trude Herber t Institute of Ar t at 722-5495.

JAY JACOBS exhibits new work at the Soul Bar in July. For more information, call the Soul Bar at 724-8880.

On July 14, The Cutno Dancers will bring to life the Harlem Renaissance, by performing to music and literature from that period. So what is the event called? Why, The Harlem Renaissance: An Arts Extravaganza, of course!

It takes place at 2 p.m. at the Morris Museum. Admission is free.

AT THE MARY PAULINE GALLERY through July 27: Lanny Webb Exhibition, Front Gallery; Summer Group Exhibition, Rear Gallery. Presentation by Lanny Webb July 12 at 6:30 p.m. Call 724-9542 or visit www.marypaulinegallery.com for details.

“OVER THE LINE: THE ART AND LIFE OF JACOB LAWRENCE” exhibit through September 8 at the High Museum of Ar t in Atlanta. For more information, call (404) 733-HIGH or visit www.high.org on the Web. FINE ARTS EXHIBITION through July 28 at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum of Black Histor y. Features works by the Benedict College Ar t Facult y. Call 724-3576 for more information.

DANIEL HAYES exhibits his work at Borders Books and Music through the end of July. Upcoming exhibits include: Tom Klose in August, Carl Purdy in September, Alex McCain in October and Rober t Lee in November. Call Borders Books and Music at 737-6962 for more information.

AT THE GEORGIA MUSEUM OF ART in Athens: “From Fauvism to Impressionism: “From Heroes to Dudes” through July 21; “Lucy May Stanton” through July 21. For more information, call (706) 542-4662.

WORKS BY MARYANNE KELLY HAND now on display at the Southeastern Neuroscience Building on Roy Road off Wheeler Road. Held through the summer. For more information, contact Maryanne Kelly Hand at 667-6622.

Dance SINGLES DANCE each Saturday night from 8-11 p.m. is sponsored by the Christian Social Organization for Single Adults. Held at Westside High School on Stelling Road.

Tickets available at the door; free dance lessons available at 7 p.m. For more information, call 278-6422.

Music

CHEROKEE FLUTE CONCERT July 13 at Etowah Indian Mounds Historic Site in Car tersville, Ga. From 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., Tommy Wildcat will per form original songs, tell stories and teach about Native Americans. Fee is $2-$3. Call (770) 387-3747 for information.

THE ATLANTIS MUSIC CONFERENCE will be held July 31 through August 3 at various venues throughout Atlanta. features showcase concer ts, educational panels, a job fair and more. Three-day wristbands for showcase per formances are $25; full conference registration includes access to panels, job fair and par ties and is $165 in advance or $200 walk-up at the Sheraton Hotel Downtown Atlanta. For more information, contact the Atlantis office at (770) 499-8600 or visit www.atlantismusic.com.

“MUSIC ON THE RIVER,” presented by the U.S. Army Signal Corps Band, will be at Riverwalk’s Jessye Norman Amphitheater 7 p.m. July 11. For more information, call Riverwalk Special Events at 821-1754.

CREATIVE IMPRESSIONS, under the direction of Evelyn Ellis, will be at the Appleby Branch Library July 16 as par t of the

Evenings in the Appleby Garden series. Per formance begins at 8 p.m., and admission is free. For more information, call 736-6244.

CONCERTS ON LAKE ALLATOONA AND AT UNICOI STATE PARK every Saturday in July at 8 p.m. Enjoy a night of bluegrass and storytelling under the stars. $2 parking fee. Call Red Top Mountain State Park in Car tersville, Ga., at (770) 9751129 or Unicoi State Park in Helen, Ga., at (706) 878-3983.

CONCERTS AND ART IN THE PARK at Creighton Living History Park in Nor th Augusta: July 11, the First Baptist Church of Nor th Augusta Orchestra; July 25, Sophisticated Swing Big Band. Concer ts begin at 7 p.m., except July 25 show, which begins at 8 p.m. Bring a picnic and lawn chairs or blankets to this free show. (803) 442-7588.

HOPELANDS SUMMER CONCERT SERIES continues July 15 with The Combined Or thodox Choir of South Carolina.

Begins 7 p.m. at Hopeland Gardens in Aiken. For rain information and for those who need special assistance or accommodations, call 642-7631.

Theater

“POLLYANNA,” presented by the Young Ar tists Reper tory Theatre Company, will show July 26 and 27 at 8 p.m. and July 27 and 28 at 3 p.m. in the Goodwin Commons of the Augusta Preparatory Day School. Tickets are $8 for adults and $5 for students and seniors. For more information, contact John Greene at 373-0605.

“FAME” will be at the Aiken Community Playhouse July 1921 and 26-27. Presented by Youth Wing Productions. Ticket

30

prices are $12/adults, $10/seniors, $8/students and $5/children 12 and under.For ticket information, visit www.atlantic.net/~acp online or call (803) 648-1438.

M E T R O S P I R I T J U L Y 1 1 2 0 0 2

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NEIL SIMON’S “PROPOSALS” July 12-13, 19-20, 26-27 and August 2-3. Show times are 8 p.m. and there will be 3 p.m. matinees July 13, 20 and 27. Presented at the Abbeville Opera House in Abbeville, S.C. Tickets are $15 for adults and $14 for seniors and children under 12. For tickets, call the opera house at (864) 459-2157.

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THE JEKYLL ISLAND MUSICAL THEATRE presents three plays in rotating reper tory through July 28 at the Jekyll Island Amphitheatre in Jekyll Island, Ga. “HONK!”, “Oklahoma!” and “1776” will be presented. Call (912) 635-4060 for details.

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Museums

AT THE MORRIS MUSEUM OF ART: “The Modern in Design” illustrated talk July 12 at 12:30 p.m. is free for members, $3 for adults and $2 for seniors/military/students. “The Harlem Renaissance: An Ar ts Ex travaganza” July 14 features per formance by the Cutno Dancers. 2 p.m. per formance is free. Atlanta-based dance company Moving in the Spirit will end their national tour at the museum July 20 at 8 p.m. Free and open to the public. “Modernism in the South” exhibit tour July 21 at 2 p.m. is also free.

“Masterworks of Southern Ar t Tour” July 28, 2 p.m. is of fered on free admission day to the museum. For more information, call the Morris Museum of Ar t at 724-7501.

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LUNCH AT NOON LECTURE SERIES held the second Wednesday of every month at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum of Black History, 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Call the museum at 724-3576 for more information.

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“ALL IN THE TIMING” July 12-13, 19-20 and 25-27 at the For t Gordon Per forming Ar ts Theatre. Dinner is at 7 p.m. with the show star ting at 8 p.m. Tickets are $30; $28 for seniors 65 and over. Phone 793-8552.

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COLUMBIA MUSEUM OF ART GALLERY TALKS: Toni Elkins, July 13, 1 p.m.; Claire K. Farrell, July 21, 1:30 p.m.; Angela Bradburn, August 3, 1 p.m. For more information, contact the Columbia Museum of Ar t at (803) 799-2810 or visit www.columbiamuseum.org on the Web. EVENTS AT THE AUGUSTA MUSEUM OF HISTORY: July’s Family History Series, July 13 from 2-3 p.m., is a guided tour of the museum’s “Augusta’s Story” exhibit. “Keepers of the Faith: A History of Organized Religion in Augusta” exhibit opens July 27 and runs through November 10. Please call 722-8454 for more information or visit www.augustamuseum.org.

“THE TIES THAT BIND” African-American Ar t and Heritage Tour Program is available to students in grades 3-12. Prior to touring the Morris Museum of Ar t, a museum docent visits students in their classroom and provides a slide orientation.

The program is available year-round, Tuesday-Friday, and must be scheduled at least two weeks in advance. Call the Morris Museum of Ar t at 724-7501 or visit the museum Web site at www.themorris.org.

Special Events “ADVOCATING FOR YOUR CHILD’S EDUCATION” WORKSHOP July 27 at the ACS Conference Room, Room 367 of Building 33720 at For t Gordon. Held 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. and is free and open to the public. For more information, call Army Community Service at 791-3579.

FAMILY DINNER AT PHINIZY SWAMP NATURE PARK July 18 from 6-7:30 p.m. Bring the family and a picnic dinner to the Pharmacia Pavilion. Program on aquatic bugs begins at 6:30 p.m. Free of charge to the public; advance registration is not necessary. Phone 828-2109 for more info.

REPTILE WEEKEND July 13-14 at Stephen C. Foster State Park in Fargo, Ga. Explore the Okefenokee Swamp and learn about alligators, snakes and tur tles. $6. Call (912) 637-5274.

"The funniest show on Broadway or off!"

-Fox TV

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE features food, fun and music by the hot test bands in the CSRA. Held at Riverwalk’s Eighth Street Plaza from 7-11 p.m. July 13, 20, 27 and August 3, 10, 17, 24 and 31. For more info, phone Riverwalk Special Events at 821-1754.

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TEACHER ORIENTATION AT PHINIZY SWAMP NATURE PARK July 30. Teachers are invited to discover field trip oppor tunities at the park. Held 9 a.m. to noon. Event is free of charge, but there are a limited number of spots available, so register before July 29. Call 828-2109 to register.

Dinner, 7 p.m. Show, 8 p.m.

Tickets: $30 / $28 (Seniors, 65 & over) Call 793-8552 for reservations or purchase tickets on-line at www.fortgordon.com ! " # $ % & ' $ ()* (& # # + ' " , -)# * (. )-/ (0 " , 1 , -)2 -2 (! 3, 4 (5 ' " 6 )& ' (, * $ (-/ ' (7 " 1 4 (8 * -' " -, )* 1 ' * -(! " # 9 " , 1 :

ASTRONOMY PROGRAM July 13 at F.D. Roosevelt State Park in Pine Mountain, Ga., presents lessons on telescope use and navigating the night skies. $2 parking fee. (706) 663-4858.

EVENTS AT THE TENNESSEE WILDLIFE CENTER: Family Fun Hike July 20; Lookout Creek canoe trip July 23; “Endangered Encounter at the Bat Cave!” July 26. For more information on the Wildlife Center, located in Chat tanooga, Tenn., call (423) 821-1160.

FLORIDA INTERNATIONAL FESTIVAL July 11-27 in Daytona Beach, Fla. Per forming ar ts series features the London Symphony Orchestra. Call (386) 252-1511, ex t. 2487 for more information.

DUPONT PLANETARIUM presents “Larry Cat in Space” 7 p.m. and 8 p.m. July 19 and 20; and “Digistar Laser Fantasy Show” at 9 p.m. on the same dates. “Larry Cat in Space” is $4 for adults, $3 for senior citizens, $2 for K-12 students and $1 for USC-Aiken faculty and staff. “Digistar Laser Fantasy Show” is $5 for adults, $4 for seniors and $3 for K-12 students. Make reservations by calling (803) 641-3769 business hours Mon.-Fri. or (803) 641-3654 after hours.

AUGUSTA FIRE DEPARTMENT RECRUITMENT DAY for all interested in pursuing firefighting as a career. Held July 13, 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. at Station 7 on Central Avenue. For more information, call the training division at 771-2910.

ADOPTION INFORMATION SESSION held July 13 at the Independent Adoption Center, a non-profit organization, in Tucker, Ga. Session held from 9:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m.

Reservations required; call 1-800-385-4016.

HORSE SHOWS AT THE GEORGIA NATIONAL FAIRGROUNDS AND AGRICENTER in Perr y, Ga.: Southern National Expo: Equine Ex travaganza, July 19-21; Southern States Triple Crown Horse Show, July 25-28.

Call 1-800-987-3247.

COLUMBIA COUNTY HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. and every Sunday from 1 to 4 p.m. at PetsMar t. For more info, call 860-5020.

RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL AND AUGUSTA ANIMAL RESCUE FRIENDS holds pet adoptions at Superpetz off Bobby Jones Expressway every Sunday from 1 to 4 p.m. Call AARF at 364-4747 or visit www.aar f.net.

Adoptions are also held at the Richmond County Animal Control Shelter on Tuesday through Sunday from 1 to 5 p.m.

For more information, call the shelter at 790-6836.

LOW-COST RABIES VACCINATIONS: Augusta-Richmond County Animal Control holds low-cost rabies vaccination clinics the four th Sunday of every month. The depar tment vaccinates privately owned pets for $8 per animal at 1 p.m. at Superpetz off Bobby Jones Expressway. Dogs must be on a leash and cats must be in a carrier. Puppies and kit tens must be three months of age and current for all other vaccinations. Schedule subject to change, so please call 7906836 for more information and to verify dates and times.

THE CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. and every Wednesday evening from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. at the Pet Center located behind the GreenJackets Stadium on Milledge Rd. Call 261PETS for more information.

Benefits SCHOOL SUPPLY DRIVE July 22-27. Proper supplies help children from low-income families get a bet ter education.

Drop boxes for donations will be placed at the following locations: Aiken County Rec Center, Harrison-Caver Park, Wal-Mar t in Aiken, Kroger on University Parkway, Aiken Regional Medical Center, SRP Federal Credit Union and Heritage South Federal Credit Union. For information, contact Tony Lit tle at (803) 663-6142.

MOTORCYCLE TOY RIDE AND BLOOD DRIVE to benefit patients of the Joseph M. Still Burn Center at Doctors Hospital. Held July 13; motorcade leaves the Big Iron Saloon at approximately 10 a.m. and arrives at Doctors Hospital at approximately 10:45 a.m. To donate toys or blood, contact the Southeastern Paralyzed Veterans, sponsors of the event, at 796-6301.

AMERICAN RED CROSS BLOOD DRIVES at the Aiken Red Cross Blood Center on Millbrook Drive and the Augusta Red Cross Blood Center on Pleasant Home Road. The bloodmobile will also stop at various locations throughout the CSRA this week. For a complete list, call the Aiken Red Cross Blood Center at (803) 642-5180 or the Augusta Red Cross Blood Center at 868-8800.

MUSCULAR DYSTROPHY ASSOCIATION LOCK-UP July 24 at the Ramada Plaza Hotel from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. benefits the Muscular Dystrophy Association. Bail money raised will help MDA find causes, cures and effective treatments for neuromuscular diseases affecting those in the CSRA. To lock someone up, call 738-8543.

17TH ANNUAL AUGUSTA SOUTHERN NATIONALS Drag Boat Races July 19-21 on the Savannah River. Proceeds from the event benefit the Augusta Chapter of the Georgia Special Olympics. Tickets, available at www.tixonline.com or by phone at (803) 278-4TIX, are priced as follows: $18

series ticket in advance, $25 series ticket at the gate, $15 one-day ticket or $50 patron pass. Coolers, food, drinks and pets are prohibited at the race site; chairs, blankets, cameras and umbrellas are permit ted. For a wealth of information about the Augusta Southern Nationals, visit www.augsouthernnationals.com.

THE CONSTRUCTION PRODUCTION GALA to benefit the Aiken Community Playhouse Building Campaign. Held July 27 at the Washington Center for the Per forming Ar ts. This black-tie event features cock tails, hors d’oeuvres and the music of Second Nature. Tickets are $100 per person.

Reservations must be made by July 12. For more information, call (803) 641-1177 or (803) 644-4068.

Learning COMPUTER CLASSES AT THE WALLACE BR ANCH LIBR ARY: “Computer Workshop for Young Minds” for those ages 9-12, Thursdays, July 11-25, 11 a.m. to noon; “Intermediate Microsof t Word Computer Classes,” Thursdays, July 11-August 8, 5:30-7:30 p.m.; “Introduction to Windows Computer Training” July 27, 12:30-5 p.m. Call 722-6275.

AUGUSTA STATE UNIVERSITY CONTINUING EDUCATION is offering the following classes during July: Literacy I, Literacy for Seniors II, Aquacise, Belly Dance, Investing for Beginners and The Pleasure of Wine. Also, ASU offers online courses.

For more information, including class dates, times and cost, call 737-1636 or visit www.ced.aug.edu.

AIKEN TECH CONTINUING EDUCATION is offering the following courses: Intro to Computers, Windows 2000, Microsoft Word, Microsoft Access,Creating Web Pages, Intro to Massage Therapy, Intro to Java Script, Driver Education and more. Classes begin in July and August. Aiken Tech also offers Education to Go classes online. For more information or to register, contact the Aiken Technical College Continuing Education Division at (803) 593-9231, ex t. 1230.

Health COMMUNITY HEALTH FAIR July 21 from 12:30-2:30 p.m. at the Luther R. Neal Family Life Center, 2930 Glenn Hills Drive.

Free and open to the public. Features free screenings for cholesterol, blood glucose, blood pressure, body mass index, weight and foot and ankle problems. Doctors and health exper ts will provide information; child safety helmet distribution; Charles Drew memorial blood drive. Please call 796-2550 or contact Maggie T. Dorsey at 868-1790 for info.

HEAT SHELTERS: During the summer months, Aiken’s Weeks Center, Smith-Hazel Center and Citizen’s Park 1 and 2 will be used as heat shelters for those needing shade. Water fountains and drink machines will be available. Call 642-7761.

MCG TICK REMOVAL STUDY compares two methods of removing ticks from humans. If you find a tick on you and would like to par ticipate, please call Dr. Mike Felz before the tick is removed at 721-2855, 8 a.m.-5 p.m., Monday-Friday.

FREE HIV/AIDS TESTING every Tuesday from 4 to 7 p.m. at St. Stephen’s Ministry, 922 Greene Street. Free anonymous testing, pre and post test counseling and education.

HATHA YOGA CLASSES at the St. Joseph Home Health Care Center in Daniel Village Plaza. Held 10 a.m. to noon Monday, Wednesday and Friday and 6:30-8:30 p.m. Monday through Thursday. $10 per class or $60 a month for unlimited classes. Mats are provided, but bring a towel and a water bot tle.

Call Tess at 738-2782 for more information.

A FREE WOMEN’S HEALTH CLINIC is held from 6-8 p.m. on the first and third Thursday of each month at the Salvation Army and Welfare Center, 1383 Greene St., Augusta.

Services include Pap smear, breast examination and the diagnosis and treatment of sexually transmit ted diseases.

This service is available through the Medical College of Georgia Student Chapter of the American Medical Women's Association and the MCG Depar tments of Family Medicine and Obstetrics and Gynecology. For more info or an appointment, call the St. Vincent dePaul Health Center at 828-3444.

W.G. WATSON, M.D., WOMEN’S CENTER CONDUCTS EDUCATION CLASSES at University Hospital. Course topics include Lamaze, breast feeding, parenting and grandparenting. Par tners will learn positive suppor t techniques to use during the shared bir th experience. There are also programs designed to help older siblings adjust to new family members. Some classes are free, while others require a fee.

Registration is required by calling 774-2825.

Kids JULY EVENTS AT THE APPLEBY BRANCH LIBRARY: Bret Hupp, African-American Story teller, 10:30 a.m July 17; Safety presentation by Eva Cooper of the AugustaRichmond County Sherif f’s Depar tment, 10:30 a.m. July 24; Bob Abdou, Mr. Puppet 10:30 a.m. July 31 will be presented in the Episcopal Day School Gymnasium. For more info, call 736-6244.

for more information.

YOUTH LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT SKILLS PROGRAM for teens ages 12-19 held the third Saturday of the month at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum of Black History. Call 7243576 for details.

SIBSHOPS every third Saturday of the month at the MCG Children’s Medical Center Conference Center. This program is designed for siblings of children with special health and developmental needs. Phone 721-KIDS for information.

CAMP R AINBOW in Rutledge, Ga, is a weeklong camp for children bat tling cancer. Held July 21-26. For information on at tending, contact the MCG Children’s Medical Center at 721-KIDS. MOVIES FOR CHILDREN Wednesdays at 1:30 p.m. at the Euchee Creek Branch Library. Call 556-0594.

WALTON’S CAMP TBI July 14-19 at Magnolia Springs State Park. For information, call 823-8691 or e-mail jthompson@wrh.org.

BOOKS-A-MILLION EVENTS: Preschool storytime, Tuesdays at 10:30 a.m.; Kids Movies, Fridays at 7 p.m.; Harry Pot ter and Pokemon Trading Card League every Saturday. For more information, call 481-9090.

WEEKLY STORY SESSIONS are held at all branches of Richmond County and Columbia County libraries. Visit www.ecgrl.public.lib.ga.us for more information.

KENNY THOMAS BASEBALL CAMP for kids 6-15 years of age teaches baseball fundamentals and techniques. USCAiken coaches and players instruct half-day or full-day camps. Lunch provided for full-day campers. Held July 1519 at USC-Aiken. For more information, call Aiken Parks and Recreation at (803) 642-7761, USC-Aiken Baseball at (803) 641-3410 or USC-Aiken Athletics at (803) 641-3486.

SUMMER FOOD SERVICE PROGRAM is available to eligible children ages 1-18 from through July 26. There will be more than 70 locations throughout Richmond County providing children with the same high-quality meals in the summer that they receive from the school nutrition program during the school year. For additional information, contact Joe Brandenburg at 737-7174.

SUMMER COMPUTER ASSISTED ART AND HISTORY PROGR AM at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum Mon.-Fri. from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. Features ar t, history and character building activities and service and field trips. Call 724-3576 for more information.

FIRST SATURDAY STORYTELLING Each first Saturday of the month, children and adults are invited to the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum to hear one of our many talented storytellers weave stories and folk tales into exciting adventures. In addition, they get a tour of the museum. Held 10 a.m. to noon.

Call 724-3576 for more information.

JULY EVENTS AT THE FRIEDMAN BRANCH LIBRARY: Learn about Ecology with Beth Schussler July 16, 10:30 a.m. preschoolers, 11 a.m. school-age children; Exploring Caves with Carol Jackson July 23, 10:30 a.m.; Live Animals from the Savannah River Ecology Lab with Shaun Poppy July 30, preschoolers, 10:30 a.m., 11 a.m for school-age children. Call the Friedman Branch Library at 736-6758 for more information.

FALL SOCCER LEAGUE REGISTRATION at Citizen’s Park 2 in Aiken is held through July 17. Open to boys and girls 6 years of age and up as of July 16, 2002. First time players will need to bring a bir th cer tificate to register. Cost is $35/child for those living within Aiken city limits and $62.50/child for all others; $10 late fee will be charged for those who register af ter July 17. Call (803) 642-7761 for more information.

JULY EVENTS AT THE MAXWELL BRANCH LIBRARY: “Introduction to Computers” one-session class offered July 12, 19 and 26, 9:30-11 a.m.; Unique Rubber Stamps with Sandy Green July 12, 10 a.m.; Ben & Keeter’s Puppet Show July 20, 10 a.m.; Storytime with Mary E. Joseph July 24, 10 a.m.; African-American Stories and Puppets with Bret Hupp July 25, 10:30 a.m. For more info, phone 793-2020.

CRAFT WORKSHOPS at the Wallace Branch Library: July 11 for ages 4-5, July 18 for ages 6-8, July 25 for ages 9-12. All workshops held from 2:30-4 p.m. Call 722-6275 for details.

SUMMER ART CAMP runs in weeklong sessions through August 2. Open to children entering first through six th grade.

Held at the Aiken Center for the Ar ts. Call (803) 641-9094

Serving Augusta for Four Generations

Seniors THE SENIOR CITIZENS COUNCIL OF GREATER AUGUSTA AND THE CSRA offers a variety of classes in July, including aerobics, quilting, tai chi, Spanish, painting, line dancing, bowling, bridge, crochet, pool/billiards, drawing and pinochle. For dates and times, phone 826-4480.

CANASTA CLUB meets every Tuesday from 12:30-3:30 p.m. at the Weeks Center in Aiken. No cost to join, and the club is open to any level player. Call (803) 642-7631.

MATURE SINGLES DINNER CLUB is a new organization open to those ages 55 and over. Meets once a week at restaurants in the area for companionship and social interaction. For more information, call 399-2087 af ter 5 p.m.

SENIOR CITIZENS ARTS AND CR AFTS CLUB meets on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 10 a.m. at Smith-Hazel.

Activities include ar ts and craf ts workshops, trips and holiday par ties. Those in at tendance should bring refreshments to share. For more info, call (803) 642-7635.

ACADEMY FOR LIFELONG LEARNING provides a broad range of activities for mature adults. Meets the second Friday of each month, Room 107 of the USC-Aiken’s Penland Administration Building. Contact the Continuing Education Office at (803) 641-3288.

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73-STEAK 796-1875

Open 11am - till Late Night, Every Night!

TAKE OUTS AVAILABLE

SENIORNET provides adults age 50 and over education for 31 and access to computer technology. Many different courses are offered. Contact the USC-Aiken Continuing Education M Office at (803) 641-3563.

E

Sports

T R O

S P I AIKEN-AUGUSTA SWIM LEAGUE is holding try-out sessions R for the 2002-2003 season. Swimmers must be able to com- I plete 25 yards of freestyle and backstroke. Try-out July 29 T

at USC-Aiken is open 4-5 p.m. for ages 10 and under and 56 p.m. for 11 and older; try-out July 30 at Augusta State University open 6-7 p.m. for 10 and under and 7-8 p.m. for those 11 and up. Call Ken Heis at (803) 613-0202 for more information; also, visit www.swimasl.org on the Web.

J U L Y 1

1 ADULT FALL SOFTBALL REGISTR ATION July 16-August 10 at Diamond Lakes Regional Park. For more information, 2 call 771-2979.

0 0

VOLLEYBALL LEAGUE ORGANIZATIONAL MEETING at 2 Citizen’s Park 2 in Aiken July 15 at 6:30 p.m. The leagues, competitive and non-competitive, will be held at the Weeks Center and are open to those 18 and up. Call (803) 642-7761.

NSA MEN’S SOFTBALL TOURNAMENT open to classes B, C, D and E. Held at Citizen’s Park in Aiken July 12-14. To enter a team, call Henry Hill at (843) 553-4067.

YOUTH MONTHLY SPARRING held the last Thursday of the month, 5:30 p.m., at the Augusta Boxing Club. For more information, call 733-7533.

CO-ED SOFTBALL LEAGUE ORGANIZATIONAL MEETING July 15, 6:30 p.m. at Citizen’s Park 1 in Aiken. Competitive and non-competitive leagues will be offered for those 16 years of age and up. Call (803) 642-7761.

OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES IN CHATTANOOGA, TENN. are perfect for summer day or weekend trips. Tennessee Overhill offers Llama Trekking; saddle up and ride a llama throughout southeast Tennessee. Call (423) 263-7232 for reservations.

Explore caves at Raccoon Mountain and Lookout Mountain, hang glide, skydive, rock climb or rappel. For more information, call the Chat tanooga Area Convention and Visitor’s Bureau at 1-800-322-3344 or visit www.chat tanoogafun.com.

BEGINNER’S ADULT HOCKEY LEAGUE held through August 15 at the Augusta Ice Spor ts Center. For more information, contact Kyle Schultz at 724-4423 or the Augusta Ice Spor ts Center at 863-0061.

AUGUSTA RECREATION AND PARKS SUMMER SWIMMING POOLS now open. Pools are located at Dyess Park, May Park, Jones Pool and Fleming Pool. Call 796-5025 for more information.

OPEN SWIM at the Smith Hazel pool through August. Held Monday-Friday, 1-6 p.m.; Saturday, noon-5 p.m.; Sunday, 1-5 p.m. Cost for children is 50 cents and adults pay $1. Call (803) 642-7755 for more information.

GEORGIA GAMES CHAMPIONSHIPS, held in Augusta July 12-21, are presented by the Georgia State Games Commission. Events include archery, baseball, basketball, bicycle riding, bowling, fishing, racquetball, sof tball, tennis, tae kwon do and more. Opening ceremonies 6 p.m. July 12 at the Augusta-Richmond County Civic Center. Tickets are $6/adults, $4/seniors and children 12 and under. Kids 5 and under get in free. Tickets are available by calling (803) 2784TIX or online at www.tixonline.com. For more information, call the Georgia State Games Commission at (770) 5283585 or visit www.georgiagames.org.

AUGUSTA STALLIONS HOME GAMES for the 2002 season

32 M E T R O S P I R I T J U L Y 1 1

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MASTERCARD • VISA • DISCOVER • AMERICAN EXPRESS • LOCAL CHECKS ACCEPTED HOURS: MONDAY-SATURDAY 8:30-6:00 • SUNDAY 12-5

This photo is from Earth Day 2002 at Phinizy Swamp Nature Park. But there are events year-round for the whole family to enjoy - activities for the kids, wine-and-cheese events for the grown-ups, nature walks - you name it. For info call (706) 828-2109. are July 20 and 27. Season tickets star t at $40. Contact the Stallions ticket office at 738-9539 for season and individual game tickets.

AUGUSTA GREENJACKETS HOME GAMES July 19-26 and 31; August 1-3, 14-21, 26-28 30-31; and September 1-2.

Ticket prices range from $6-$8, with special discounts for children and seniors. Sundays are Family Fest/Junior Jacket days, Tuesdays are “Two Fer” Tuesdays/Team Trivia and Thursdays are Thirsty Thursdays. For tickets, call 7367889 or go to www.tixonline.com. Also check out www.greenjackets.net.

THE G.O.A.L.L.S. PROGRAM AT WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL is offering golf clinics for those with physical disabilities. Future clinics are planned for the second Tuesday of each month at the First Tee of Augusta. Golfers do not have to be affiliated with Walton to par ticipate. If you are interested in par ticipating, please contact Judie Thompson, G.O.A.L.L.S. Coordinator at 823-8691.

Volunteer VOLUNTEER AT THE MORRIS MUSEUM OF ART: The Morris Museum needs volunteers to greet and orient visitors on Sundays, free admission days at the museum. No experience is required. There is a two-hour training session July 21 at 3 p.m.; af ter that, volunteers may contribute three or more hours of service each month. To register, call Patricia Moore Shaffer at 828-3813 or Victoria Durrer at 828-3865.

GOLDEN HARVEST FOOD BANK needs volunteers to help sor t and pack food collected from the National Association of Let ter Carriers food drive. Volunteers needed Monday-Friday, 8:30 a.m.-noon shift and 1-4:30 p.m. shift. Groups of 10 or more, please call in advance. For information, contact Laurie at 736-1199, ex t. 208.

OLDER AMERICANS ACT SENIOR NUTRITION PROGRAM is looking for volunteers to serve hot, nutritious meals to needy older residents. To volunteer in suppor t of senior nutrition programs, contact the Senior Citizens Council at 826-4480, or visit your nearest par ticipating senior center.

For those in need of home-delivered meals, please apply with the Area Agency on Aging at 210-2018 or toll free at 1-888-922-4464.

What better time than summer to savor a rack of Baby Back Ribs?

Slow cooked to perfection in our heavenly barbecue sauce, the meat’s so tender it practically falls off the bone. Now, during our Summer Rib Special, you can bring home a slab and save.

One taste of these babies and you’ll definitely be back!

2825 Washington Road • Fairway Square • 738-4267

$19

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(Includes a Rack of Baby Back Ribs and Two 1-lb. Side Salads) 1-800-725-HAMS • www.heavenlyham.com Expires Aug. 5, 2002 Good at participating stores only. Not valid with any other offer.

AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL: Help Augusta-Richmond County Animal Control improve the lives of stray dogs and cats housed at our shelter by volunteering your time. New volunteer orientation is scheduled the first Saturday of every month at 11 a.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Schedule subject to change, so please call 7906836 for information and to verify dates and times.

THE CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY is looking for animal lovers who are willing to donate a lit tle of their time. Volunteers are needed every Saturday at the Pet Center located behind the GreenJackets Stadium on Milledge Road. Please call 261PETS for more information.

SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER is seeking donors to prevent a blood supply shor tage. To donate call 7374551, 854-1880 or (803) 643-7996.

Meetings GREATER AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF THE ASSOCIATION OF FUNDRAISING PROFESSIONALS holds its nex t luncheon July 19 at 11:45 a.m. at the Par tridge Inn. Cost is $13 for AFP members and $18 for non-members; reservations must be made by noon July 17. To reserve a spot, contact Amy Dorrill at 667-0030.

AUGUSTA-AIKEN SOCIETY FOR HUMAN RESOURCES MANAGEMENT meets July 19 from 7:30 a.m. to 9:15 a.m at the Radisson River front Hotel. $15 fee includes breakfast. Reservations can be made by contacting Maria Defever at (803) 442-7812. Visit www.augusta-aikenshrm.org.

THE AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF INTERNATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF ADMINISTRATIVE PROFESSIONALS meets the third Tuesday of each month at 6 p.m. in the University Hospital Dining Room. All office professionals welcome. Dinner provided for a fee. For more info, contact Sunshine Prescott-Aiu at 721-3448 or visit http://iaap-fairways.tripod.com/iaap.

SIERRA CLUB MEETING July 16 features talk on sprawl and local government response; speaker is George Pat ty of the Richmond County Planning Commission. Meeting begins at 7:30 p.m. and is held at the Unitarian Church on Walton Way Ex t. For more info, call 863-2324 or visit ht tp://georgia.sierraclub.org/srg.

BUSINESS NETWORKERS INTERNATIONAL Augusta Chapter meets every Thursday morning from 7 to 8:30 a.m. in the Par tridge Inn main dining room. All professionals welcome; breakfast provided for a fee. Contact Stuar t Rayburn at 737-0050 for more information.

AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF THE AMERICAN SINGLES GOLF ASSOCIATION meets the second Thursday of each month at Damon’s Restaurant from 6:30-8:30 p.m. No admission for meeting, but at tendees are responsible for anything ordered.

RSVP by noon the Tuesday prior to meeting at 24 hour hotline: (803) 441-6741 or 650-1254. ASGA also holds golf outings and socials. Call (803) 441-6741 or 1-888-4653628 for more information.

THE AUGUSTA SKI AND OUTING CLUB is a non-profit organization for those who enjoy snow skiing, boating, camping, whitewater raf ting, cycling and other outdoor recreation. Meets 6:45 p.m. the first Tuesday of every month at the Cot ton Patch. Club interests should be directed to (803) 279-6186.

AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF PEOPLE FIRST, a self-advocacy group for people with disabilities holds meetings the last Monday of each month at St. Marks United Methodist Church from 6-8 p.m. For more information, call 399-9869.

GUIDELINES: Public Ser vice announcements are listed in this section without charge at the discretion of the editor. Announcements must be received by Monday at noon and will be included as space permits. Send to Events, The Metropolitan Spirit, P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA, 30914 or Fa x (706) 733-6663. Listings cannot be taken over the phone.

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Sports Competitions Run ❘ July 13-21 Archery - July 13-14 - Patriots Park BMX Cycling - July 13 - Wood Street BMX Track Badminton - July 20-21 - ASU Complex Baseball, Men's - July 12-14 - Olmstead Stadium and ASU Baseball, Youth - July 19-21 - Olmstead Stadium, ASU, Eisenhower Park Basketball, Boys - July 12-14 - Augusta

Road Race - July 13 - Lake Olmstead, Julian Smith Casino in Augusta

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Roller Hockey - Info not available at press time

2 0 0 2

Roller Skating - July 12-13 - Stardust Skating Rink Rowing - July 20 - Langley Pond Rugby - July 14 - Evans High School Shooting - July 19-21 - Pinetucky Gun Club

Softball, Adult - July 20 - Diamond Lakes

Bowling - July 13-14 - Brunswick Lanes

Swimming, Youth - July 17-20 - Augusta Aquatics Center

Boxing - July 13- 14 - ASU Complex Cycling Criterium - July 13 - Lake Olmstead

BMX Cycling is only one of dozens of sports events this week as part of the Georgia Games.

Swimming, Masters - July 21 - Augusta Aquatics Center

Cycling Road Race - July 14 - Lake Olmstead Disc Golf - July 20 - Patriots Park

Synchronized Swimming - July 13 - Augusta Aquatics Center

Diving - July 15 - Augusta Aquatics Center

Table Tennis - July 20-21 - ASU Athletic Complex

Equestrian Events - July 2 - Pine Top Farm

Taek wondo - July 13 - Patriots Park

Fencing - July 19-21 - Warren Road Community Center

Team Handball - July 2 - 21 - Cross Creek High School

Golf, Adults - July 13-14 - Augusta Golf Course

Tennis - July 18-21 - Newman Tennis Center

Golf, Youth - July 15 - Augusta Golf Course

Track & Field, Masters - July 21 - Cross Creek High School

Gymnastics, Artistic - July 13-14 - Gymnastics Gold In-Line Skating - July 13 - Lake Olmstead Judo - July 20 - Patriots Park Gym in Augusta

The rowing event will be held at Langley Pond on the Aiken-Augusta Highway on July 20.

Track & Field, Youth - July 19-20 - Cross Creek High School Triathlon - July 21 - Wildwood Park

Kayak/Canoe - July 13 - Lake Olmstead Lacrosse - July 13 - Lakeside High School Stadium Mountain Biking - July 21 - Augusta Canal Park Racquetball - July 12-14 - Patriots Park Gym in Augusta

Ultimate Frisbee - July 20-21 - Patriots Park

Water Skiiing - July 21 - Lake Olmstead

Volksmarch - July 13 - Riverwalk Augusta

Weightlifting, Olympic - July 14 - Bernie Ward Community Center

Volleyball - July 2 - ASU Complex

Weightlifting, Power - July 13 - Bernie Ward Community Center

Wakeboarding - July 21 - Lake Olmstead

Wrestling, Freestyle - July 13 - Cross Creek High School Wrestling, Folkstyle - July 14 - Cross Creek High School

For more information and contact numbers, visit the Georgia State Games Commission Web site at www.georgiagames.org and look under “Sports.”

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Music Augusta Holds Its Own When Locobazooka Comes to Town

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weaty bodies, blazing sun and a crowd a few thousand strong: You’d expect two out of three in Augusta.

But the last item and its accompanying mosh pit isn’t something that takes root in The Garden City very often.

Last Saturday, July 6, the Augusta Exchange Club Fairgrounds was visited by the concert fairy when the Locobazooka tour breezed through town with 14 bands in tow. Though temperatures rose into the mid-90s for the duration of the all-day show and the oppressive humidity closed in on concertgoers, the crowd was estimated to number somewhere between 3,000 and 4,000, according to radio station 95 Rock, Augusta’s sponsor of the tour.

A final count should be coming in the next few weeks, but overall, it appears that Locobazooka was a success, proving that, against similar cities hosting the tour, Augusta can hold its own.

Aside from the nuisances that plague most daylong outdoor concerts – stifling heat, inadequate shade and overpriced bottled water – the Augusta leg of the Locobazooka tour fared well, especially when compared with the tour’s reception in other cities.

Though patron comfort didn’t seem to be much of a priority, with a too-small rain tent providing shade and a no-readmittance policy to allow fans to take a break, squirt gun snipers and free water made the show more bearable.

But posters on the Web site for Green Bay, Wis., radio station Razor 94.7, sponsor of Locobazooka’s June 29 date, made numerous complaints about delays, ticket prices ($10 higher than the Augusta ticket price of $20 in advance), and having to buy beverage tickets in bulk.

Even so, estimates for attendance at the Green Bay show and at the Milwaukee show, which kicked off the Locobazooka tour June 27, run between 4,000 and 5,000, and fans weren’t disappointed with the acts.

Nonpoint, Mushroomhead and Mad at Gravity proved to be the most popular acts in all venues the tour has visited thus far, bringing something refreshing to thirsty audiences, while headlining act Filter seemed to disappoint concertgoers.

In any case, the Augusta crowd appreciated getting the chance to see bands that usually play venues of a greater magnitude; a chance many Augustans hope they’ll get again.

But to see some of the Locobazooka acts after the tour finishes July 21, you’ll have to venture further than your own backyard.

Both Mad at Gravity and Mushroomhead have tours planned: Mad at Gravity hits the Midwest and the East Coast, while Mushroomhead serves up some masked antics in the Midwest and California. Earshot has a few dates planned, and Dragpipe is playing two festivals – in the U.K. There’s always next year.

BY LISA JORDAN

Between 3,000 and 4,000 people pile into the Exchange Club Fairgrounds

Photos by Jim Bruce

Members of Earshot interview with 95 Rock

Dragpipe rocks the stage at Locobazooka

It’s Filter’s turn to be interviewed

Music By Turner

“Take a Load Off Danny” Dept.

Congratulations are in order for popular WEKL-FM radio personality Danny (Boomer Daniels) Clark, who placed third in the “Georgia’s Finest” category of the Georgia Bodybuilding Championship last weekend in Jonesboro. Boomer, who’s been training locally with Von Hardin, has been handling nighttime duties at the station for several years after getting his start back in 1974 with WAUG-FM in Augusta. He’s also a full-time deputy with Richmond County and I pity the fool that messes with him.

Both Vertical Horizon (“Everything You Want”) and the Wallflowers (Hey, I’m Bob Dylan’s son!) have announced new albums due in September. “Go” will be the fifth studio offering from Vertical Horizon, the group that many thought were just beginning their career in 1999 when their last disc went double-platinum. Frontman Jakob Dylan has penned 12 new originals for the Wallflowers, whose last album was “Breach” in 2000. Pearl Jam’s Mike McCready handles some of the lead guitar work on the album with Dylan.

A four-disc set chronicling the Grateful Dead’s 1972 European tour is out. Yes, most Deadheads are aware of the old “Europe ‘72” package released almost immediately after the tour that year, but “Steppin’ Out with the Grateful Dead” is taken from some of the other shows that were never issued. Sure, the usual band staples (“Uncle John’s Band,” “Dark Star,” etc.) are included, along with a very rare rendition of Huey “Piano” Smith’s “Rockin’ Pneumonia and the Boogie Woogie Flu.” New releases in stores this week: Verden Allen’s (Mott the Hoople) “20 Year Holiday,” Bonnie Bramlett’s “I’m Still the Same,” Popa Chubby’s “The Good, the Bad and the Chubby,” Joey DeFrancesco’s “Ballads and Blues,” Ian Gomm’s “Rock and Roll Heart,” Magic Slim and the Teardrops’ “Blue Magic,” Mighty Mighty Bosstones’ “Jackknife to a Swan,” Orbital’s “Back to Mine,” and Styx’s “At the River’s Edge.”

Turner’s Rock and Roll Jeopardy: A. This was the first rock album to enter the Billboard Charts at number one.

Q. What is “Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy” (1975) by Elton John.

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wo long-awaited LPs are new and in stores this week.

It’s been over three years since Counting Crows issued their last studio work, the relatively uneventful “This Desert Life.”

“Hard Candy” is the eighth release from the band that gave us the Van Morrison-influenced “Mr. Jones” and this time around, the band isn’t taking any chances. They engaged the services of Steve Lillywhite, fresh from serving as producer for the likes of U2 and Dave Matthews. Standout tracks from Adam Duritz and company include “Good Time” and the current single “American Girls,” the latter tune performed live by the band during the All-Star Baseball Home Run hitting contest Monday night.

“By the Way” is the latest from funk-punksters the Red Hot Chili Peppers, although the layered keyboards on most of the tracks betray the band’s esoteric leanings. The sparseness of “Californication” is long gone as the band continues to grow musically by experimenting with different sounds and feels. The band wrote a staggering 28 tracks for the album but for the third straight disc, there’s nary a cover song in sight. A U.S. tour was being finalized as we went to press.

BY ED TURNER

A hilarious but practical advice column on love, dating, and relationships.

S E E

P A G E

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Caitlin Cary Never Lets the Songs Grow Old

BY RHONDA JONES

V

iolinist Caitlin Cary said the best thing about her show is that the songs never get old – because her band won’t let them.

“It’s exciting to play with people who are so musically sensitive that they can pick up on my mood based on the way I sing,” she said. “A song that is lovely and sensitive and ‘folksy’ one night can become a rocker the next. That makes it especially fun for me because I can learn something new about a song I’ve sung a hundred times.”

Her style is a mosaic of country, rock, pop and American and Celtic folk, and if the titles are any indication, the writing inside her latest disc must be fresh and original. It’s called “While You Weren’t Looking,” and contains “Shallow Heart, Shallow Water,” “Fireworks,” “Thick Walls Down,” and “Too Many Keys.”

The Metropolitan Spirit asked where they came from.

“I never know when a song will hit me,” Cary said. “Usually at the most inconvenient times possible, when I don’t even have pen and paper, let alone a tape recorder.”

She said that, while her experiences do seep in, she doesn’t tend to write autobiographically. “I’ll often take on a persona as a songwriter. I’ll imagine myself as another person with a different life, or else I’ll simply invent a character and try to excavate something about him or her. Sometimes it’s more like writing stories than like mining my own consciousness or life experience.”

Not too surprising, considering that Cary is as much a writer as a musician. In college, she was a creative writing major. As a side note, during that time she played in a band called the Garden Weasels, a “jokey country covers band.”

A musician with a sense of humor! Those are always the most fun. That sense of humor became more obvious in the way she

35 M E T R O S P I R I T J U L Y 1 1 2 0 0 2

handled the questions from the Random Interview Question Generator.

“What did you have for breakfast?” and “What would you like to have for breakfast someday?” got this answer: “a fairly tasty bean/rice/hot pepper casserole.

“And as my husband is out of town, I had it for breakfast and for dinner. I’d like to have eggs benedict at my friend Ashley’s restaurant this Sunday, and I think I can make my dreams come true. With a bloody Mary.”

You should know these things about your favorite musicians.

As for recordings, she’s birthed two solo records: A five-song EP called “Waltzie,” and the new one, “While You Weren’t Looking.” With her old band Whiskeytown, which broke up in 2000, she had three records released and, she says, “a bunch more that are sitting on execs’ shelves.

“I’m doing my level best to make honest records that haven’t got anything to do with (a) my belly button, (b) what’s going on, on most radio stations, or (c) sentiments better left behind in junior high. To wit,” she said, “I’m a fairly serious writer with a high regard for what music can convey beyond words. Words are sacrosanct, of course, but music operates on a different plane, and I’m interested in how melody, harmony, instrumentation and the ‘intangibles’ of music work to make stories real and honest.”

She will be here in the flesh at Crossroads on July 18, which is a Thursday. The show starts at 9 P.M., with locals Henry Wynn, The Livingroom Legends, and Horsepower opening. If that’s not enough for you, you can follow her to Atlanta for her On the Bricks gig at Centennial Olympic Park on the 19th with Sister Hazel, Edwin McCain, and The Charlie Mars Band.

36 M E T R O S P I R I T J U L Y 1 1 2 0 0 2

Thursday, 11th Aiken Brewing Co. - DJ Big Iron Saloon - Russell Bonham Coconuts - DJ Coliseum - DJ Mania Continuum - Playa*Listic Thursday Cotton Patch - Dennis D. Hall Coyote’s - Rhes Reeves, Shelley Watkins and the Coyote Ugly Band D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Eagle’s Nest - Richardean Norwood, Michael Johnson, Karaoke Finish Line Cafe - Blind-Draw Fishbowl Lounge - Blind-Draw Dar ts Fraternal Order of Eagles - Bingo Greene Street’s - Men’s National Karaoke Contest Highlander - Smath Sin Dragon Honk y Tonk - The Duke Boys Last Call - Ma x from 95 Rock hosts Barroom Olympics, DJ Richie Rich Logan’s Roadhouse - Karaoke with Bill Tolber t Luck y Ladies Bar and Grill - Pool League Marlboro Station - Talent Night Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Modjeska - House Music Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ Playground - Open Mic Night Richard’s Place - DJ Mike the Outlaw, Pool League Robbie’s Sports Bar - Pool and Dar t Leagues Safari Lounge Aiken - Karaoke Salsa’s Bar and Grill - Karaoke with Linda Eubanks Shannon’s - Glenn Beasley Sidestreets/Barracks - Karaoke Silver Bullet Lounge - The Big Dogs Soul Bar - The Drab Sports Pub and Grill - Spor ts Trivia The Spot - Open Booth Night Squeak y’s Tip-Top - Live Music Wheeler Tavern - Flashback and Company

Friday, 12th Adams Nightclub - Karaoke with Bill Tolber t Back yard Tavern - Karaoke, Horseshoes Big Iron Saloon - Russell Bonham Cafe Du Teau - Buzz Clif ford, Carl Brown Capri Cinema - Ephemeral Weakness, Everbleeding Charlie O’s - Live Music Coconuts - Miss Hawaiian Tropic with DJ Doug

Coliseum - Mallory Bishop Continuum - In the House Friday with DJ Nick Snow Cotton Patch - Free Beer Band Country Ranch - Live Music Coyote’s - Rhes Reeves, Shelley Watkins and the Coyote Ugly Band Crossroads - The Inhibitors D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Euchee Creek Sports Bar - Karaoke Finish Line Cafe - DJ Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke with Linda Eubanks Gordon Club - Flavor Fridays Greene Street’s - Karaoke with DJ Penny Highlander - Live Music Honk y Tonk - The Duke Boys The Infield Sports Bar & Grill - Karaoke Kokopelli’s - Jemani Last Call - Dakota West, Tony Howard, DJ Richie Rich Lucky Ladies Bar and Grill - The Niche, Blind Draws Marlboro Station - Show Night with Special Guest Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Modjeska - DJ R. El Rey Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ Partridge Inn - The C. Anthony Carpenter Project Patti’s - Free Pool Private I - Disco Richard’s Place - Midnight Magic Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Mykie G Safari Lounge Aiken - Shag Night with DJ Shannon’s - Steve Chapell, Bar t Bell Sidestreets/Barracks - Cabaret Silver Bullet Lounge - The Big Dogs Soul Bar - ‘80s Night The Spot - Live DJ Veracruz - Live Music Wheeler Tavern - Flashback and Company

Saturday, 13th Back yard Tavern - Karaoke Big Iron Saloon - Russell Bonham Cafe Du Teau - Buzz Clif ford, Carl Brown Charlie O’s - Live Music, Military Night Coconuts - DJ Doug Coliseum - Ravionne Continuum - DJ Prince Ice Cotton Patch - Free Beer Band Country Ranch - Karaoke Coyote’s - Rhes Reeves, Shelley Watkins and the Coyote Ugly Band

The Big Mighty will play at the Soul Bar Saturday, July 13.

You’ve heard him. “I Could Not Ask for More” and “I’ll Be” have gotten some airplay on local radio. His voice isn’t particularly melodic, and he’s not doing anything so musically outstanding that these ears can pick up on it, but he’s solid, easy to listen to, accessible and singalongable. And he’s coming to Augusta. On July 12, he will be playing as part of the Georgia Games Championships Opening Ceremonies in the civic center arena. For information call the civic center at (706) 722-3521. See the 2002 Georgia Games Championships section of 8 Days a Week for date and venue info.

Crossroads - Rebel Lion, ISB, Happy Bones, 420 Outback D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Finish Line Cafe - DJ, Dar t Tournament, Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke with Linda Eubanks, Blind-Draw Dar ts Fraternal Order of Eagles - Crossroads Band Gordon Club - Salsa Night Greene Street’s - Karaoke with DJ Penny Honk y Tonk - The Duke Boys Kokopelli’s - July Juicy Jello Jam Benefit with SPYT, The Vellotones, Jimmy Archer Blues Experiment/Explosion, Lithium and Vagabond Missionaries Last Call - Tony Howard, DJ Luck y Ladies Bar and Grill - The Niche Marlboro Station - Show Night with Special Guest Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Modjeska - Miami Night with The Brit Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ Playground - Barroom Olympics Private I - Disco, Live Jazz and R&B Rae’s Coastal Cafe - Live Music Richard’s Place - DJ Mike the Outlaw Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Mykie G Safari Lounge Aiken - Karaoke

Shannon’s - Bar t Bell Silver Bullet Lounge - The Big Dogs Soul Bar - The Big Mighty with Allen Sloan, former violinist of the Dixie Dregs The Spot - Live DJ Squeak y’s Tip-Top - Live Music Time Piecez - ‘80s Night Veracruz - Live Music Wheeler Tavern - Flashback and Company

Sunday, 14th Adams Nightclub - Dance Par ty with DJ Tim Back yard Tavern - Karaoke Cafe Du Teau - Buzz Clif ford and The Last Bohemian Quar tet Capri Cinema - Beloved, Acedia, My Synopsis Cotton Patch - Wayne Capps Country Ranch - Jam Sessions Finish Line Cafe - Blind-Draw Fraternal Order of Eagles - Bingo Logan’s Roadhouse - Trivia Marlboro Station - Starlight Cabaret with Claire Storm and Lauren Alexander Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Mykie G Shannon’s - Shelley Watkins

The Vagabond Missionaries are pulling a Rolling Stones. They’re coming out of retirement to play Kokopelli’s on Saturday, July 13.

Monday, 15th Big Iron Saloon - Russell Bonham Coliseum - Q.A.F. Continuum - Monday Madness with DJ Freeman Crossroads - Club Sin Dance Par ty Elks Lodge - Line Dancing Finish Line Cafe - Open Pool Tournament Fraternal Order of Eagles - Bingo Highlander - Dar t League Honk y Tonk - Blues Monday featuring Robbie Ducey Band and Special Guest Kokopelli’s - Dar t Teams Luck y Ladies Bar and Grill - Dar ts Michael’s - Karaoke with Hugh Barrow Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ Playground - Trivia Night with Skin Tight Red Lion - Open Mic Night Richard’s Place - Dar ts Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Mykie G Safari Lounge Aiken - Shag Lessons

Tuesday, 16th American Legion Post No. 63 - Bingo Bhoomer’s Bar - Karaoke with Bill Tolber t Big Iron Saloon - Russell Bonham Club Incognito - DJ Richie Rich Coliseum - Tournament Tuesday Crossroads - Club Sin Dance Par ty Docker’s - Pool Tournament D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Elks Lodge - Line Dancing Fraternal Order of Eagles - Bingo French Market Grille West - Wayne Capps Greene Street’s - National Karaoke Contest Highlander - Open Mic Acoustic Jam Session Luck y Ladies Bar and Grill - Karaoke Metro Coffeehouse - Irish Music Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ Patti’s - Pool Tournament Playground - Golf Tournament Red Lion - Dancing Under the Influence Somewhere in Augusta - Trivia Sports Pub and Grill - Trivia

Wednesday, 17th Big Iron Saloon - Russell Bonham Coconuts - DJ Coliseum - Talent Search Cotton Patch - Trivia with Mat t Stovall Coyote’s - Rhes Reeves, Shelley Watkins and the Coyote Ugly Band Docker’s - Free Pool D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Finish Line Cafe - Blind-Draw Greene Street’s - National Karaoke Contest Honk y Tonk - The Duke Boys Hooters - Karaoke with Bill Tolber t Logan’s Roadhouse - Trivia Luck y Ladies Bar and Grill - Pool League Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Modjeska - Theology on Tap Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ Playground - Jenga Competition Richard’s Place - Pool League Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Mykie G, Free Pool Shannon’s - Steve Chapell, Alan Black Silver Bullet Lounge - The Big Dogs Soul Bar - Live Jazz The Spot - Live DJ TGI Friday’s - Trivia Wheeler Tavern - Flashback and Company

Upcoming Edwin McCain - Augusta-Richmond County Civic Center - July 12 Charlie Daniels - Aiken Jaycees Fairgrounds October 17

Elsewhere Britney Spears - Charlot te Coliseum, Charlot te, N.C. - July 11 Blue Dogs - Senate Park, Columbia, S.C. - July 11 Carbon Leaf - New Brookland Tavern, Columbia, S.C. - July 11 Jeep World Outdoor Festival with Sheryl Crow, Train - Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta July 11 Wayne Capps - Za’s, Columbia, S.C. - July 11; Rusty Anchor, Columbia, S.C. - July 12; Loafer’s, Columbia, S.C. - July 13 Concrete Blonde, Atticus Fault, Copper Centennial Olympic Park, Atlanta - July 12 Our Lady Peace - Ear thlink Live, Atlanta - July 14 Usher - Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - July 14 Willie Nelson, Leann Womack - Chastain Park, Atlanta - July 15 Tweet - Chastain Park, Atlanta - July 16 Mary J. Blige - Chastain Park, Atlanta - July 16 The Charms - Fado, Atlanta - July 17 Korn, Puddle of Mudd - Bi-Lo Center, Greenville, S.C. - July 18 Billy Ray Cyrus - Alabama Theatre, Myr tle Beach, S.C. - July 18 Leon Russell - Senate Park, Columbia, S.C. July 19 Selah - Savannah Blues, Savannah, Ga. - July 19 Marcus Roberts Trio - Spivey Halll, Atlanta July 20 Alicia Keys - Chastain Park, Atlanta - July 22 John Mellencamp - Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - July 23 Moby - International Ballroom, Atlanta - July 23 Tommy Lee - Ear thlink Live, Atlanta - July 23; House of Blues, Myr tle Beach, S.C. - July 24 Sister Hazel - Senate Park, Columbia, S.C. July 24 Waylandsphere - Savannah Blues, Savannah, Ga. - July 24 Dolly Parton - Ear thlink Live, Atlanta - July 25 Wilco - Tabernacle, Atlanta - July 25 Bernie Worrell and the Woo Warriors - Senate Park, Columbia, S.C. - July 27 Ozzfest ‘02 - Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta July 28 Dex ter Freebish, Almighty Senators - Senate Park, Columbia, S.C. - July 28 Weezer, The Strokes - Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - July 29 Vans Warped Tour - Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - August 1 Sammy Hagar, David Lee Roth - Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - August 4 Sonic Youth, Mary Timony - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta - August 5 MTV2 Smokin’ Grooves Tour - Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - August 7 Default, Trik Turner - Roxy, Atlanta - August 7 Lenny Kravitz - Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - August 8 The Breeders - Ear thlink Live, Atlanta - August 9 Jackson Browne, Tom Petty - Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - August 9 David Allen Coe - Senate Park, Columbia, S.C. August 22 Dream Theater - The Tabernacle, Atlanta August 24 Norah Jones - Atlanta Symphony Hall, Atlanta August 25 Peralta, Planes Mistaken for Stars - New Brookland Tavern, Columbia, S.C. - August 28 Many tickets are available through TicketMaster outlets, by calling 828-7700, or online at w w w.ticketmaster.com. Tickets may also be available through Tix Online by calling 278-4TIX or online at w w w.tixonline.com. Night Life listings are subject to change without notice.

Deadline for inclusion in Night Life calendar is Tuesday at 4 p.m. Contact Rhonda Jones by calling 738-1142, fa xing 736-0443 or e-mailing to rhonda_jones@metspirit.com.

Club Directory Adams Nightclub - 738-8811 Aiken Brewing Co. - (803) 502-0707 American Legion Post 63 - 733-9387 The Backyard Tavern - 869-8695 Big Iron Saloon - 774-9020 Bhoomer’s Bar - 364-3854 Borders - 737-6962 Cafe Du Teau - 733-3505 Capri Cinema - Eighth and Ellis Street Charlie O’s - 737-0905 Club Incognito - 836-2469 Coconuts - 738-8133 Coliseum - 733-2603 Continuum - 722-2582 Cot ton Patch - 724-4511 Country Ranch - (803) 867-2388 Coyote’s - 560-9245 Crossroads - 724-1177 Docker’s - (803) 302-1102 D. Timm’s - 774-9500 Eagle’s Nest - 722-5541 Elks Lodge - 855-7162 Euchee Creek Spor ts Bar - 556-9010 Finish Line Cafe - 855-5999 Fishbowl Lounge - 790-6810 Five Pines - 738-3273 Fox’s Lair - 828-5600 Fraternal Order of Eagles - 790-8040 French Market Grille West - 855-5111 Gordon Club - 791-6780 Greene Street’s Lounge - 823-2002 Hangnail Gallery - 722-9899 Highlander - 278-2796 Honky Tonk - 560-0551 Hooters - 736-8454 The Infield - 652-1142 Jerri’s Place - 722-0088 Joe’s Underground - 724-9457

Kokopelli’s - 738-1881 Last Call - 738-8730 Logan’s Roadhouse - 738-8088 Lucky Ladies Bar and Grill - 651-0110 Marlboro Station - (803) 644-6485 Metro Coffeehouse - 722-6468 Michael's- 733-2860 Modjeska - 303-9700 Mulligan’s Nitelife - 738-1079 Par tridge Inn - 737-8888 Pat ti’s - 793-9303 Pizza Joint - 774-0037 The Playground - 724-5399 Private I - 793-9944 Rae’s Coastal Cafe - 738-1313 Red Lion Pub - 736-7707 Rhythm and Blues Exchange - 774-9292 Richard’s Place - 793-6330 Robbie’s Spor ts Bar - 738-0866 Ron’s Tavern - (803) 613-0255 Safari Lounge Aiken - (803) 641-1100 Salsa’s Bar & Grill - 855-6868 Shannon's - 860-0698 Sidestreets/Barracks - 481-8829 Silver Bullet Lounge - 737-6134 Snook’s - (803) 278-2936 Somewhere In Augusta - 739-0002 The Soul Bar - 724-8880 The Spot - (803) 819-0095 Spor ts Pub and Grill - 432-0448 Squeaky’s Tip-Top - 738-8886 Surrey Tavern - 736-1221 TGI Friday’s - 736-8888 Time Piecez - 828-5888 Treybon - 724-0632 Veracruz - 736-4200 Wheeler Tavern - 868-5220 Whiskey Junction - (803) 649-0794

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Weird A

bout 2,500 festive marchers turned out for Jerusalem’s first gay pride day in June, including a few Palestinians. And according to reports in The New York Times, The Times of London and The Scotsman, U.S. and British troops fighting in Afghanistan have been hit on by that country’s apparently numerous (and decreasingly closeted) gay farmers. (Afghan men’s brazenly taking boy lovers was a major impetus for the Taliban to take power in 1994, and press reports say that practice is slowly re-emerging.)

• In June in Rotherham, England, Gaak the robot, who is part of a research project equipping robots to think for themselves, escaped from the lab while it was momentarily unattended and made it as far as the parking lot of the Magna science center before being stopped by a visitor’s car. It had forced its way out of a small pen used to house units scheduled for repair. Said Professor Noel Sharkey, “(The robots) have all learned a significant amount and are becoming more intelligent by the day.”

The Only Clever Criminals • Smugglers With Bright Ideas: A woman’s snakeskin “belt” was confiscated by airport customs officials when they realized it was an actual snake (exotic and endangered, yet harmless, which had been sedated by chilling but which had heated up) (Glasgow, Scotland, February).

Authorities in Chicago and Orlando recently confiscated shirts from Thailand and Colombia, respectively, that had been “starched” with heroin and which would later be chemically soaked to extract the drug. And since Sept. 11, Customs officials say drug cartels’ Mexico-to-U.S. tunneling activity has increased, with five new tunnels recently raided, including one that ended near the parking lot of the Customs office in Nogales, Ariz.

Can’t Possibly Be True • In June, the Supreme Court of Victoria, Australia, awarded Damien Keller, 31, the equivalent of $313,000 (U.S.) for injuries he suffered while robbing a taxi driver at knifepoint in 1994. Although the driver had fled the robbery, Keller chased him until the cornered driver was forced to hit Keller with a stick and punch him in the face. Keller suffered brain damage because, he said, the police and ambulance service did not treat him speedily enough.

• On May 6, a 32-year-old woman apparently attempting suicide plunged 14 stories from a window at the Four Ambassadors condominium in Miami, but walked away with only a broken arm when she landed on the roof of a late-model Honda. She had been hospitalized three days earlier after taking an overdose of pills.

• Russ and Sandy Asbury of Whitewater, Wis., told an Associated Press reporter in February that their two cats, Boots and

Bandit, now each 2 years old, have driven up the couple’s water bill recently because they have learned to flush toilets. Said Russ, “We have to shut the bathroom door when we go to bed. Otherwise one or the other of the cats are in there flushing away all night.”

• Robert Daniel Irving was cleared in May to receive the equivalent of $28,500 (U.S.) in standard spousal death benefits from the Manitoba (Canada) Public Insurance fund. There had been speculation that he would be denied the award in that the way his 22-year-old wife died was as a passenger in Irving’s car when he crashed while drunken driving. Irving pleaded guilty to impaired driving, but the Manitoba agency said the plea was irrelevant to his eligibility for benefits.

• The Agence France-Presse news service reported in April that a severely disabled boy (believed to be about age 7) had been taken in by a children’s home in Kano, Nigeria, in 1996 after having been abandoned by his nomadic parents and raised with chimpanzees for 18 months. The nursing staff at the Tudun Maliki Torrey home said the kid now no longer drags his hands on the ground as he walks but still often springs at people and makes chimplike noises. The nomadic Fulani people of Nigeria have been known to reject disabled children as too difficult to travel with.

People Different From Us • The Doctors Were Wrong: Apparently angry because local doctors kept telling him nothing was wrong with him, Shawn Eric Bird, 40, allegedly mailed more than 100 envelopes containing notes with childlike insults and smeared cat feces and urine to medical offices and other establishments around Belleville, Ontario, before being arrested in May. Police finally caught him when Bird (referring to himself as “Spiderman” character the Green Goblin) called a station house to chide them for incompetence, and officers surmised from the background noise where Bird was calling from.

Least Competent Criminals • Edward Brewer, 47, serving a 10-year sentence for raping a cerebral palsy patient in a Sandusky, Ohio, hospital, sued the hospital for $2 million in May, claiming that his own predicament came about because the hospital did not protect its patients well enough. For some reason, Brewer also sued his attorney, who had recommended he take a plea bargain in the 1999 case, which got Brewer a five-year sentence; an angry Brewer had then appealed that plea bargain, blaming his lawyer for it, but then on retrial, Brewer was convicted and sentenced to his current 10-year term.

Update • A year ago, News of the Weird reported that a library’s resident cat had attacked Richard R. Espinosa’s assistance dog, whose injuries have so discomforted Espinosa that he believes he needs $1.5 million to recover from the stress (i.e., his “terror, humiliation, shame, embarrassment, mortification, chagrin, depression, panic, anxiety, flashbacks (and) nightmares”). In April 2002, Espinosa amended his complaint (which is against the city of Escondido, Calif.) to take into account that, with his disability, he is in a law-protected class and thus that the cat’s actions should be considered a “hate crime” attributable to the library.

— Chuck Shepherd © United Press Syndicate

Brezsny's

magic is said to work even if the devotee doesn’t understand the words. So, for example, it’s not necessary to know that the Sanskrit “Om Namaha Shivaya” is sometimes translated as “I honor the Divine within” or “Salutations to that which I am capable of becoming.” With all due respect to the ancient tradition, I propose that we expand the concept by creating mantras in our native tongues. Here’s one that’s a perfect fit for your current astrological needs, Libra: “It’s finally my turn, dammit.” I urge you to speak, whisper, or bellow that mantra hundreds of times in the coming week, preferably in conjunction with “Om Namaha Shivaya.” Use these words of power to build up your confidence that it’s high time for you to claim your fair share.

Free Will Astrology later, Elizabeth took her young child, my grandmother, and emigrated to America as a single mother. She settled in Detroit, where she became a social powerhouse in the Polish-American community while living with a man she never married.

During the times I spent with her as a child, she struck me as a feisty, plainspoken crone with a will of steel. This week I will be celebrating her life. I’ll honor her pioneering spirit and give thanks for the maverick genes she bequeathed me. If you want to be in tune with astrological forces, fellow Cancerian, you’ll follow my example. It’s a perfect moment for us Crabs to deepen our relationships with the ancestors who helped make us who we are.

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

I’m not sure what to make of the strange and wonderful abilities you’ll be expressing in the coming week.

You could temporarily lose your self-control in a most productive way. You might summon a hauntingly beautiful meditation on grace while cleaning a toilet, or make a dizzy plea that actually changes an intractable problem. Most tantalizing of all, Aries, you could prove my improvement on Rambo’s old adage (“To survive war, you must become war”), which is: “To survive love, you must become love.”

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

There’s been more teasing than pleasing going on in your vicinity, Taurus; more bluffing and waffling than getting to the point. I know you’d prefer to put an end to this nonsense with a simple, direct intervention, but consider this: A bit of counter-subterfuge may be the only approach that will defuse the subterfuge. Here are some tips: Learn more about the power of unpredictability by studying five-year-olds and Scorpios. Be politely skeptical of anyone who is acting nice as a way to avoid being real. Never take “maybe” for an answer; insist on the magic of crisp, clear choices.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

Every now and then, a week comes along that shakes you to your foundations with revelations of the divine purpose behind all your life’s adventures. This is probably not one of those weeks, but it may be foreplay for one. As many sweaty geniuses have discovered, adroit breakthroughs frequently follow long, tedious attention to detail. And as many God-drunk converts have found, a brave confrontation with one’s guilty conscience can often be the trigger for a cathartic religious experience.

Shun coloring books and microwave popcorn this week, Gemini. Avoid one-size-fits-all overalls and talking heads that spout demagogic clichés. Don’t even think about squeezing yourself into pigeonholes, cubicles, or itchy niches. And if you have any say in how you’ll be tested on your brand new life skills, refuse to answer multiple-choice questions. What’s my reasoning here? Well, your future self is depending on you to be wild and free as you explore the untapped potentials of your richest idiosyncrasies.

New York Times Crossword Puzzle

N A P S

O B E Y

G A F F E

L I R A S

A L E R T

T L A E C I T

H U L A

B U C C A N E E R P E D A L

K A Z H O E O D S D A S O C L R O U N S T Y

A P I A N A S I A

I R O N Y

C A P O

O M E N

E D N A L A N N I A C I K S S A N S O S R E E S

Welcome to “What’s My Deepest Longing?” I’m your host, Rob Brezsny, and I’m pleased that you’ve decided to play our game. To begin, place yourself in

Mantras are spiritually potent phrases that are supposed to purify and uplift those who chant them. The

34 Markers 35 Business card abbr.

37 Black 38 Macbeth, for one 39 Aware of 40 Shade of gray 41 Cavort 42 Not stick out 43 Money 45 It’s golden 46 Brooklyn Dodgers great 47 Where the buoys are 48 Football positions: Abbr.

49 Corinthian alternative 51 Quiescence 54 Silk-screening need 56 Like the film “Henry & June” (and this puzzle)

N E O N

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE S T O P

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

It’s a good time to brainstorm about fund-raising strategies with a cute venture capitalist in Tahiti; or to slink around Web-based matchmaking services looking for an emotionally intelligent millionaire to accompany you on a vision quest to a sacred sanctuary; or to wear sexy underwear made from hemp silk as you meditate on your romantic and financial future in a bungalow on a beach in the south of France. In other words, Sagittarius, your luck will be electric any time you blend travel with love, or love with money, or money with travel. If you can combine travel and love and money in the same adventure, your luck may be downright supernatural.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Born and raised in a small town in Poland, my great-grandmother Elizabeth birthed a child out of wedlock at age 16. The father was a sea captain of royal blood who died soon thereafter. Two years

ACROSS

The best science fiction show on TV is “Farscape.”

John Crichton stars as an astronaut from Earth who has been accidentally flung to the far reaches of the galaxy during a chance encounter with a wormhole.

His predicament has a resemblance to yours, Scorpio, wouldn’t you say? Like him, fortunately, you’re making the most of your wayward adventure. There’s another parallel. “I’m the reverse King Arthur,” Crichton brags at one point, oozing self-deprecating humor. “I can put the sword back into the stone.” I advise you Scorpios to do something similar: Return the magical you-know-what to where it came from. A few weeks from now, you can circle back and retrieve it. At that time, you’ll be primed to take full advantage of the power you’re not yet ready to use.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

Joshua trees, native to the Mojave Desert, are both hardy and delicate. While they may live as long as 10 centuries, their flowers blossom just one night each year and can only be pollinated by the Yucca moth.

At this moment, Leo, you remind me of a Joshua tree. Very soon, there will be a brief window of opportunity for you to be psychically fertilized, and you will need a specific agent to do the job. If all conditions are right, a blessed awakening will occur.

Even if the beauty that sprouts is visible for just a short time, its effects will last for years.

1 Pickpocket, in slang 4 Monokini’s lack 7 Open to everyone 13 When expected 15 Western Hemisphere org.

16 Do some film editing 17 S.S. Guppy commander 19 Stupefied 20 Workday interrupters 22 “More!”

23 Put down in writing?

26 Cancer follower 27 Menotti character 29 Eats into 31 “It’s a Wonderful Life” angel 33 Bad-tasting

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

S I B Y L S A S P I C

A V A S T S T A L L I O N S

M I N I

B A E D D S S

S H I V A

G O O E Y

T E N D S

O R A L

U N T O

S O O T

60 61 62 63 64 65

Hurt with a blow Foot part Swedish auto Get mad Singer Kiki HBO rival

1

3

13

4

5

6

29

21 26

25

9

27

30

32 35

47 51

50 55

52

61

63

64

Puzzle by Peter Gordon

34 One end of a nave 36 Subdues, with “down” 38 Half of seis 39 Squirt can contents 41 Exact 42 Intended 44 Acquire again

48

57

58

59

62 65 5/30/02 (No. 0530)

45 Boil 47 Batting coach’s concern 49 Mil. medals

57 Sports org.

58 When “S.N.L.” ends

50 Siouan speaker 52 Unimaginative 53 N.F.L. stat: Abbr.

55 Flashback causer

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44

54

36

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PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

I recently went to a party that celebrated the 35th anniversary of San Francisco’s Summer of Love. The invitation suggested that we wear “discerning exotica.” There were, therefore, no hippie love beads or tie-dyed bell-bottoms. Platform sneakers and inflatable Sumo wrestler costumes were also absent, as were rainbow fright wigs and pink drag queen hot pants. Instead, elegant outrageousness prevailed. I saw an ankle-length gold and black robe fit for an African chieftain, a tunic of crimson feathers that called to mind a Peruvian shaman, and a replica of what fashionable men wore in London in the 1890s. I offer this vignette to you, Pisces, because the astrological omens suggest that “discerning exotica” is the perfect keynote for you in the coming week. Be mysteriously outlandish as you exude understated poise.

— © Rob Brezsny

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28

38

43

12

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Novelist Mario Vargas Llosa has written a how-to book called “Letters to a Young Novelist.” In it, he takes on the role of a mentor speaking to a novice, revealing the storytelling techniques he has worked long and hard to master. At the end of his dissertation he pulls a little prank. “[Now] forget everything you’ve read in my letters,” he says, and “just sit down and write.” I’d like you to apply Vargas Llosa’s method to a certain skill you’re beginning to master, Aquarius. Study everything that has been written by experts who’ve come before you. Then empty yourself of their load of wisdom and tackle your joyful discipline with a fresh, innocent mind.

around at

34

37

11

22

31

33

40

10

19

18

24

8

16

20

49

7

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14

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23

DOWN 1 Sawbones 2 One conquered by the conquistadors 3 Young boxer 4 Ejects 5 Gaucho’s workplace 6 New York’s ___ Stadium 7 L.A. setting 8 Raises 9 One of TV’s “Golden Girls” 10 Home to the Juilliard School 11 “Happy Birthday” writer 12 Give up 14 Letter abbr.

18 Like a legal pad 21 Intravenous solution 23 Former U.N. chief Javier ___ de Cuéllar 24 Language from which “hashish” comes 25 Disagreement 28 Pal, in Perth 30 Racket 31 Uncertain 32 No longer around

2

a comfortable position and let all the tension drain out of your beautiful body. When you are amazingly relaxed, allow your mind’s eye to fill up with images of the experiences that move you to tears and laughter. I am not talking about your wishy-washy wishes or mediocre pleasures or half-assed distractions.

Rather, I mean the primal dreams that shimmer and hum at the roots of your soul. Name them. Entertain and nourish them. Give them license to unleash their raw and secret truths.

59 Year that Dionysius of Halicarnassus is believed to have died

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work in a little insurance agency, and live a pretty routine life. Two months ago, I went to the bank to open a new account. When I reached the window, there she was — this breathtakingly beautiful teller.

After two months of muttering, “Here’s my deposit slip,” I found the courage to ask “Bank Girl” to lunch. Much to my surprise, she said yes. Lunch went really well, so I took her to a pro baseball game (because she said she loves baseball), then to dinner. At dinner, she dropped hints that she’s interested in dating me. The problem is, I’m an average-looking guy. I sort of resemble Tom Hanks; she’s simply gorgeous. I think she’s “out of my league,” and everybody I know agrees. Does it make any sense to imagine that a girl this amazing might venture down from her league to play in mine?

—Painfully Average Joe

happily ever af ter with some plumber.

Bank Girl could be under the impression you’re some Big Man On (the insurance) Campus, selling policies to every lit tle old lady on the continent. To cultivate that impression, walk and talk (or shake your cilia) “like you own the place” ... as opposed to slithering around like you clean the toilets for just under minimum wage.

Do keep in mind that dating leagues work like baseball leagues. In baseball, even if you’re the hotshot of the peewee playof fs, it’s pointless to campaign for a multi-million-dollar contract in the majors, plus a private jet for your cat. If you’re right that Bank Girl is unwit tingly slumming, she probably won’t be long for your dugout. Knowing this might tempt you to cut your losses. Still, there is that of f chance that nobody’s opinion of you is quite as low as your own. It might be wiser to cut loose with her for as many innings as you can — until she calls the relationship on account of your being a near relative to plank ton.

There’s dating down and there’s dating down. The way you see it, Bank Girl isn’t just stooping to date you; it’s more of a free-fall on her par t. Apparently, she has yet to get the message that you’re but a few food chain links up from having cilia instead of legs. Once she comes to her senses, it shouldn’t take much for her to get rid of you. In fact, if you’re as lowly as you think, she can simply accessorize with a flea collar for a few days — that is, if Lysol or antibiotics don’t do the trick.

You might, however, enter tain the possibility that she isn’t hanging with you just because her cuf f got caught in the low end of the food chain. Moreover, as a bank teller, she probably has reasonable command of the English language ... including the word “no,” and the follow-up statement, “I’d rather stay home and draw crop circles in dust than go out with you.”

Okay, so Tom Hanks isn’t exactly Tom Cruise, but he’s no Quasimodo either. Even if you’ve got a bit of a Quasimodo thing going on, it might not be a deal-breaker for a woman who’s in for more than shor t-term fun. See, although men seem to be wired to want young, beautiful babes; women tend to seek men with potential for power and status over men with potential for get ting cast for an Abercrombie ad. Perhaps that’s why you sometimes hear stories about a waitress getting hitched to a gazillionaire, but never about an international supermodel going for the big

My boy friend, a graduate student (and soon-to-be-M.D.), is about to meet my conservative parents. To put it mildly, he dresses more creatively than they’re used to. (He wears earrings and wild clothes.) He also has the most wonderful integrity, character, and personality. How can I get him to tone down his look so my parents can see beyond his outer shell?

—Homeward Bounds It doesn’t seem too outrageous to ask your boy friend to opt for a nice conser vative pair of pearl studs instead of those big feathered hoops he saves in case the hospital is plunged into pitch darkness during his rotation. What a great way to fool the folks into thinking you lined up a man like dear old dad — a boy friend who wears knockof fs of the earrings daddy bought mummy for Christmas!

Of course, you could opt for a nobler goal than fooling your parents; say, prying open their tiny lit tle minds prior to your visit. That way, the impor tant stuf f — your boy friend’s character and who you really are — can seep in. Regarding telling your boy friend what to wear: The guy was smar t enough to get into medical school — he probably knows bet ter than to meet your parents in a kilt, fishnets, and body glit ter.

— © 2002, Amy Alkon

Got A Problem?

Write Amy Alkon 171 Pier Ave., Box 280 • Santa Monica, CA 90405 or e-mail AdviceAmy@aol.com

41 M E T R O S P I R I T J U L Y 1 1

STOP, THIS IS IT! Outgoing professor, lovely lady, 50s, 5’7”, 125lbs., brown hair, serious-minded, professor Latin language, enjoys reading, gardening, swimming.

Seeking sophisticated man, 50-65. Ad# 4108 PRETTY WOMAN 5’7”, 205lbs., WF, 23, laidback, shy, mom, enjoys movies, beaches, hanging out, outdoors, fishing.

Seeking family man, 2436, casual relationship.

Ad# 4116 LET’S MEET SWF, 34, 5’5”, greeneyed brunette, full-figured, adventurous, mother, likes wrestling, gardening, quiet evenings.

Seeks SWM, 34-45, honest, open, for LTR. Ad# 4098 THE WHOLE PACKAGE SWCF, 56, 5’10”, 140lbs., health-conscious, easygoing, adventurous, enjoys music, camping, backpacking, canoeing, photography, animals, ISO SWM, 52-61, for friendship. Ad# 4104 BLONDE PETITE LADY 55, interested in meeting gentleman, 55-79, likes horses, country living, flea markets, auctions.

Ad# 3708 LOOKING 4 HAPPINESS SWF, 50, 5’, brown hair, hazel eyes, enjoys fishing, camping, traveling, the beach, mountains, bowling, holding hands, quiet times together, ISO SWM, 50-60. Ad# 3709 LOOK NO FURTHER Outgoing BF, 40, 5’7”, height/weight proportionate, childless, kindredspirit. Likes cooking, dining, fun activities, volleyball, long walks. Seeking BM, 37-45, with similar interests. Ad# 3707 FUN WITH YOU SF, 40, enjoys many activities, searching for energetic, outgoing, friendly SM, 35-50, to get to know better for friendship, possibly more. Ad# 4081

WAITING TO HAPPEN Smart, funny, down-toearth SF, 35, enjoys reading, traveling, running, searching for SM, 30-45, for conversation and companionship. Ad# 4082 MAKE IT LAST Fun-loving, outgoing SWF, 48, 5’4”, 145lbs., blonde hair, has many interests. ISO SWM, 3650, for a possible serious LTR. Ad# 4086 LIFE CAN’T WAIT SWPF, easygoing, employed, enjoys flea markets, church, fun events. ISO SCM, N/S, 56-65. Full of love. Ad# 4069 TODAYS THE DAY SBPF, 32, new to area, children, seeks a good man, 32-45. Seriousminded only need apply.

Ad# 4061 HELLO TALL MEN! 5’4”, full-figured, brown hair, friendly, 28, SWF, grad student going for Masters, varied interests, animals. ISO N/S SWM, 24-33. Ad# 4060 GOOD-HEARTED DWF, 61, 5’9”, honest, neat in appearance, with a good sense of humor.

ISO D/SWM, 60-70, who’s honest and caring.

Ad# 3697 SPRING FEVER SWF, early 40s, 5’6”, 136lbs., college educated, extroverted, enjoys camping, country living, animals, traveling.

Seeking similar SWM, 40-50, with similar interests. Ad# 3696 MAKE SOMEONE HAPPY SWF, 5’7”, red hair, green eyes, full-figured, 34, good-looking, clean, sociable, enjoys quiet times, sewing, movies, cooking, ISO SM, 32-43.

Ad# 4041 MY HEART’S DREAM SBF, 38, 155lbs., 5’2”, reddish blonde, warm, fun, writer, enjoys life, bowling, basketball, music, singing, ISO SM, 25-44. Ad# 4046 NO NONSENSE GIRL SBF, 20, 5’7”, 145lbs., medium size, sociable, ISO outgoing, spontaneous, fun-loving, humorous, honest, seriousminded SM, 20-35. Leave message. Ad# 4056

DREAMS INTO REALITY Quiet, reserved SBF, 46, author, loves swimming, boating, tennis, long walks, the gym, cake decorating, keyboard, ISO 40-52, thoughtful guy.

Ad# 4053 ISO OF A CHALLENGE Attractive BPF, physically fit, petite, enjoys movies, dining out, traveling, shopping. ISO white collar, WPM, 36-50, 5’9”+.

Ad# 3693 WOMAN WITH CHARACTER SBF, 40, college, enjoys many interests. ISO quality times with SM, 38-45.

Ad# 4033 BE MY BOYFRIEND Shy, soft-spoken, 39, fullfigured BF, 5’8”, N/S, children at home, enjoys church, fishing, movies, ISO BM, honest, 30-55, drug-free, N/D. Ad# 4026 WAITING FOR YOU Attractive BF, 28, 5’7”, medium build, enjoys dining, cooking, shopping, music and good conversations. Seeking SBM, 34-58, for sincere friendship. Ad# 3675 BE MY KING Are you SBM, 38-49, seeking a serious relationship? I’m an attractive, very outgoing BF, 43, who enjoys dining, reading, sports. Ad# 3674 1 THING LEADS 2 Another! Start as friends with this BF, 26, who likes cuddling and quality times. Looking to meet a compatible M, 20-55. Ad# 3664 SHY AT FIRST BF, 42, enjoys evenings out, movies, reading and attending church. Seeks SBM, 42-52, with similar interests, for relationship.

Ad# 3672 ANSWER MY PRAYER Attractive S ebony woman, 29, 5’3”, black hair, loves reading, church, going out. ISO man, 28-35. Christian a plus. Ad# 3560 CAN IT BE YOU? SBF, 49, 5’5”, enjoys life, dining, church, parks, walks, seeking similar in SM, 55-60, maybe LTR. Ad# 3650 HAPPY TOGETHER Laid-back, easygoing SWF, 32, 5’7”, plus-sized, brown hair/eyes, enjoys movies, bowling, baking, looking for sincere, honest SM, 32-45. Ad# 3633

For customer service, call 1-800-783-6019 ext.533

or e-mail us at support@nvsmedia.com.

Please include x533 in the subject line.

ABBREVIATIONS M F W J ISO N/S

Male Female White Jewish In search of...

Non-smoker

B H A P N/D NA

Black Hispanic Asian Professional Non-Drinker Native American

D C S WW LTR

Divorced Christian Single Widowed Long-term Relationship Double Dater

WISHING YOU THE BEST SBF, 40, 5’7”, outgoing, likes walking, concerts, plays, church, seeking respectful, active SBM, 38-44, with good morals.

Ad# 3632 HERE WITH ME Sweet, open, outgoing, intelligent SBF, 20, 5’5”, 130lbs., likes movies, dining out, walking, searching for cute SWM, 18-30.

Ad# 3646 HERE WITH ME SWF, 43, 5’2”, full-figured, outgoing, fun, easygoing, likes yard sales, cooking, flea markets. Desires SWM, 44-52, to share good times with. Ad# 3628 BEHIND MY BLUE EYES Slim, attractive DWF, 46, auburn hair, blue eyes, ISO DWM, 46-56, to spend time with. Are you ready? Ad# 2818 ROMANTIC? CALL ME! Friendly BF, 46, 5’8”, 170lbs., hobbies are music, bands, picnics and walking. Seeking BM, 4050, for friendship. Ad# 3615 HAPPY ME SWF, 5’6”, 138lbs., green eyes, reddish blond hair, enjoys movies, walks and good conversation. ISO SWM, 40-55, honest and outgoing. Ad# 3605 BE HONEST SF, 60, enjoys good conversations, going to Church, yard sales, music, seeking SM, 5070, N/S, likes to go to Church. Ad# 3606 GOOD GIRL HUNTING SWF, attractive, blonde, hazel eyes, looks 35, 5’4”, 140lbs. Seeking tall, handsome WM, 32-42, with old-fashioned values, enjoys having fun. Ad# 2813 HONESTY A MUST SWF, 42, 5’4”, 180lbs., long-haired, hardworking, easygoing, likes animals, dining, quiet times, laughter, the lake. Seeks N/S, honest SWM, 35-45. Ad# 3590 FOR GOOD COMPANY SWF, 62, 5’6”, 130lbs., adventurous, into gardening, antiques, dining, sports. Seeks SWM, 5575, for conversation, friendship. Ad# 3591 NO GAME PLAYERS Fun-loving, honest, loyal SWCF, 46, 5’4”, 160lbs., brown hair, loves camping, fishing, NASCAR, looking for serious, sincere SWCM, 38-55. Ad# 3558 WHERE ARE YOU? SBF, 29, 5’3”, likes going to church, reading, sports, seeking SBM, 2835, with similar interests, to get to know better. Ad# 3560

ISO MR. RIGHT Shy, laid-back SBF, 23, 5’9”, 195lbs., loves music, traveling, bowling, movies, dining out, looking for SBM, 23-35, with similar qualities. Ad# 3565 TABLE FOR TWO SWF, 57, 5’4”, blond hair, green eyes, easygoing, outgoing, enjoys cooking, fishing, reading, NASCAR, ISO honest, respectful S/DWM, 57-65.

Ad# 3563 GENTLEMAN FOR ME? WWWF, 60, smoker, attractive, blonde, enjoys dancing, learning golf, socializing, the outdoors, seeking WPM, 50s-60s, mustache or beard a plus. Ad# 3557 LOOKING 4 LOVE SWF, 22, outgoing, fun, looking for SWM, 25-35, for friendship, possible LTR. Ad# 3193 GIVE ME A CALL SWF, 50, looking for friendship, possible LTR with SWM, 48-53. Ad# 3196 BEING YOURSELF SBF, 27, N/S, 5’6”, 180lbs., brown eyes/hair, open-minded, fun-loving, enjoys bowling, poetry, movies, quiet evenings.

Seeking strong-minded SBM, 26-39. Ad# 3195 PICK UP THE PHONE All thoughtful, respectful, drug-free SBPCM, 40-55, this SBF, 49, 5’4”, 165lbs., N/S, who enjoys dining, music, picnics, bowling, softball, wants you. Ad# 3200 MUCH MORE!!

SWF, 32, 5’3”, full-figured, reddish/brown hair, brown eyes, enjoys swimming, poetry, horseback riding, shooting pool.

ISO secure, respectful SWM, 29-49. Ad# 3187 NO GAMES!!

SBF, 33, N/S, full-figured, enjoys reading, long drives, the outdoors, seeking caring, understanding SBM, 25-38. Ad# 3551 SOMEONE JUST FOR ME DWPF, 44, 5’5”, 135lbs., very pretty, ethereal, enjoys gardening, reading, working, animals.

ISO SCM, 40-50, with similar interests. Ad# 2809 A STRONG WOMAN SBF, 28, 5’10”, 170lbs., outgoing, friendly, sociable, enjoys running, walking, biking, movies. Seeks SM, 24-37, for friendship.

Ad# 3174 ISO MILITARY MAN Down-to-earth SF, 39, drug-free, looking for military SM, 28-42, in good shape, knows what he wants in life, for fun and LTR. Ad# 3176

We Purchase Fine Swiss Watches, Estate Jewelry and Diamonds.

Monday-Saturday 10am-9pm 2635 Washington Road | Augusta, Georgia 30904 | 706.738.7777 www.windsorjewelers.net WE SHOULD MEET SWF, 30, 5’5”, full-figured, shy, into movies, reading, intelligent conversation, basketball. Seeks SM, 28-39, confident, for friendship. Ad# 3159 ALL THIS AND MORE SWF, 33, 5’3”, 125lbs., green-eyed redhead, affectionate, ambitious, student, enjoys travel, sporting events. Seeking SM, 30-43, honest, friendly, intelligent, familyoriented. Ad# 3164 NO GAMES PLEASE! SBF, 32, outgoing, downto-earth, smoker, likes long walks, church, travel, cooking, dining. Seeking SHM, 30-45, stable, secure, for friendship.

Ad# 3171 WAIT AND SEE SWF, 62, 5’6”, blond hair, blue eyes, loves camping, fishing, boating, walking, seeking SWM, 70, with similar interests. Ad# 3156 UNDER THE STARS SWF, 52, enjoys fishing, dancing, spending time with grand children, seeking SWM, 50-58, to spend quality time with.

Ad# 3144 CAN WE MEET? SWF, 57, 5’4”, blonde, personable, loves reading fiction, dancing. Seeks SWM, 57-63, for friendship. Ad# 3132 WERE U BORN 6/20/51?

Tall, slim, attractive woman, auburn hair, light complexioned, seeking tall, attractive WM, born June 20, 1951. No other responders please! Ad# 2771 LOOKING FOR YOU HF, 28, brown hair, likes good conversations, sports, and having fun.

Looking to build a friendship with a SBM, 20-40.

Ad# 3084 MAKE ME SMILE BF, 23, has a great personality, likes laughter and having fun. Seeking SM, 24-35, for friendship, possibly more. Ad# 3087 GETTING TO KNOW U WF, 26, 5’8”, 155lbs., red hair, green eyes, enjoys traveling, sports, and spending time with friends. Searching for a SM, 23-36. Ad# 3106

WORTH YOUR WHILE Friendly, easygoing, laidback SWF, 20, 5’5”, 150lbs., brown hair, blue eyes, loves music, dancing, horseback riding, ISO SWM, 22-26. Ad# 3099 WAITING TO HAPPEN DWF, 45, 5’4”, brown hair, green eyes, likes sports, music, dining out, searching for serious, honest, hardworking SWM, 4055. Ad# 3107 TAKE MY BREATH AWAY Hardworking WF, 38, 5’4”, 100lbs., brown hair/eyes, enjoys biking, watersports, cooking, and travel. ISO WM, 35-50, for possible LTR. Ad# 2767 BE MY FRIEND SWF, 56, 5’4”, 160lbs., green-eyed, personable, loves dancing, reading.

Seeks SWM, 62+, for friendship. Ad# 3059 LOVING YOU BF, 25, 5’10”, 170lbs., seeks a BM, 25-35, who is honest and trustworthy, for quality time and romance. Ad# 3046 NEEDING YOU Outgoing, friendly, BF, 5’8”, likes dining out, movies, basketball and long walks. Looking for M, 21-31, with similar interests. Ad# 3049 LOVES GOD Hazel-eyed brunette DWCF, 48, 5’7”, enjoys nature, cooking, movies, reading. ISO honest, financially secure SCM, 45-55, for friends first, possible LTR. Ad# 3051 TREAT ME RIGHT! Outgoing DWF, 37, N/S, has kids, seeks true, honest, stable SWM, 28-48, N/S, for dining, movies, walks, and quiet times.

Ad# 3035 SHARE WITH ME Brown-eyed SBF, 26, 5’, 100lbs., humorous, likes good conversations, 3-D puzzles, movies, reading.

ISO SWM, 21-28, for quality time. Ad# 3006 GOOD-HEARTED SWF, 44, 5’2”, 145lbs., redhead, green-eyed, humorous, enjoys reading, the outdoors.

Seeking SM, 35-52, with similar interests. Ad# 3009

LET’S CUDDLE WF, 41, 5’6”, 138lbs., hazel eyes, brown hair, outgoing, likes cooking, fishing, hunting, NASCAR. ISO SWM, 3748, for friendship. Ad# 3014 LET’S HAVE FUN BF, 20, 5’6”, 140lbs., friendly, loves having fun, likes movies, dining, bowling, sports. ISO SWM, 18-36, with similar interests. Ad# 3021 GIVE ME A CHANCE BF, 55, 5’1”, 145lbs., brown-eyed, friendly, outgoing, enjoys dancing, movies, walks. ISO SBM, 55-60, who’s easygoing, understanding, friendship first. Ad# 3028 ISO A GOOD MAN Outgoing SBF, 18, N/S, fun-loving, enjoys movies, dancing and wrestling.

ISO SBM, 19-20, who likes the same things.

Ad# 2979 LET’S BE FRIENDS SBF, 21, new in town, 5’8”, 195lbs., enjoys movies, music, long walks and more. ISO SBM, 2030, for friendship first.

Ad# 2992 CAN WE GET TOGETHER SWF, 53, 5’, 145lbs., shy, loves the outdoors, mountains, traveling. ISO SM, 48-68, who’s tall, honest, sincere, for possible LTR. Ad# 2964 CAREER MINDED SWF, 30, 5’6”, blonde hair, blue eyes, 135lbs., enjoys golf, tennis, music, outdoors, traveling, dining. ISO SWPM, 27-36, for friendship. Ad# 2976 STRONG WILL SBF, 45, outgoing, attractive, youthful, enjoys writing, music, traveling.

Seeking mature, strongwilled SBM, 35-48, for friendship. Ad# 2956 LET’S GET TOGETHER! Outgoing, humorous SBF, 24, 5’5”, 135lbs., N/S, enjoys writing and sports.

Seeking independent, affectionate SM, 20-36, for LTR. Ad# 2948

"Continued on the next page"

This publication is a community, family publication. Anything appearing in Datemaker must be appropriate for all ages. Participants in Datemaker must be 18 years or older. Datemaker is restricted to individuals seeking personal, monogamous relationships. The publisher reserves the right to edit or reject ads and voice introductions that do not meet the standards of acceptance of this newspaper. This publication assumes no liability for the content or reply of a personal advertisement.

Readers and advertisers may wish to consider taking appropriate safeguards in responding to ads and arranging meetings. Callers to the 1-900 system will be charged $1.99 per minute on their monthly phone bill. Touchtone phone callers will be given instructions on how to respond to a specific ad, browse male or female greetings and use Datematch. For best reception, cordless telephones are not recommended. Use of this column for business solicitation will be prosecuted. CH/AS 7/5/02 533

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1-888-223-7044 $1.99 per min. must be To browse and respond to ads, call 1-900-287-3111 You 18 or older.

To place your FREE print ad, call

"Continued from previous page" ISO CARING GENTLEMAN Pleasant SWF, 71, 5’5”, 125lbs., brown hair/eyes, enjoys fishing. Seeks caring, giving SWM, 69-74, for friendship, card playing, dining out. Ad# 2744 DOWN HOME GIRL DBF, 48, 5’6”, 175lbs., no kids, loves dining out, football, gardening.

Seeking SBCM, for companionship. Ad# 2904 LONELY IN NEED Aiken resident, WWWF, 74, easygoing, youthful, enjoys gardening, crafts, flea markets, yard sales, walking. ISO WM, 65+.

Ad# 2737 CALLING MR. RIGHT Full-figured, 48 year-old WWWF, seeking SWPM, 45-65, for companionship and possible LTR. Enjoys music, movies, walks and travel. Ad# 2739 ISO UNIQUE MAN Attractive SBF, 35, likes dining, sports, going out.

Seeking attractive, openminded, sensitive M, 3045, for friendship or more.

Local calls only. Ad# 2735 MAKE ME SMILE SWF, 27, 5’10”, brown hair/eyes, shy at first, likes fishing, camping.

Seeking SM, 25-37, for fun and possibly more.

Ad# 2913 CARES ABOUT OTHERS SWF, 37, 5’8”, 185lbs., long auburn hair, friendly, cheerful, honest, sincere, loves reading, writing, traveling. ISO honest SM, 30-45. Ad# 2922 WELCOME TO MY LIFE SWCF, 47, 5’9”, 120lbs., green eyes, no children, seeking N/S SWCM, 3050, for friendship and possibly more. Ad# 2901 YOU NEED TO CALL SWF, 45, 5’9”, 165lbs., brown hair/eyes, outgoing, social, enjoys a variety of activities. Seeking active, fun, tall SWM, 4050. Ad# 2905 ARE YOU TRUSTWORTHY? Honest, loyal SWF, 45, 5’4”, 155lbs., brown hair, loves to sing, dance, swim, fish. ISO SWM, 3855, for companionship.

Ad# 2909

TIME FOR YOU Gainfully employed, outgoing SWM, energetic, 6’, sandy brown hair, 198lbs., loves all fun activities.

Seeking S/DWF, 28-45, open to newer adventures. Ad# 3048 BUILD YOU A CASTLE SWM, 30, 6’1”, black hair, 183lbs., kinda shy, likes role play games, beach walks, quiet times.

Seeking similar SF, 20-40, varied interests. Ad# 4111 ELECTRIFYING 5’7”, 150lbs., dark hair/eyes, charming SWM, 42, likes church, working out, motorcycles, dinners out. Seeking attractive, loving, emotionally/financially secure lady. Ad# 4113 REALITY CHECK 6’1”, 220lbs., bald SBM, 40, successful, fun-loving, breath taking gentleman, wide scope of interests.

Seeking soulmate, 35-45.

Ad# 4115

SMILE WITH ME BM, 39, mellow, gainfully employed, enjoys bodybuilding, running, hiking, cycling. Seeking stable, slim/medium-built, petite SF, 27-48. Calls returned.

Ad# 4066 A FEW GOOD MEN SWM, 21, 6’, brown hair, blue eyes, shy, outgoing, comfortable in any situation. Seeking woman, 1830, appreciates a good man. Ad# 4112 YOUR TIME HAS COME 5’10”, 245lbs., black hair, brown eyes, nice SBPM, 44, sociable. Enjoys chess, bowling, cars.

Seeking outgoing, good listener, fun-loving S individual, 32-50s. Ad# 4101

STAND PROUD Military man, B, 6’1”, 205lbs., black hair, nice smile, enjoys reading, laughter, basketball, seeking lady, 20-28. Let’s chill! Ad# 4067 COOL DUDE Crazy, sexy SBM, 26, 5’8”, 155lbs., good-shape, lifts weights, gym, music, cooks, good food and movies. ISO SF, 18-35, with similar interests. Ad# 4063 EYES RIGHT HERE WM, 33, loves music, cars, seeking SF, 28-35, decent, nice person, same interests. Be yourself. Ad# 4039

MUST BE STABLE SBM, 39, 6’4”, 250lbs., outgoing, energetic, open-minded, friendly, likes having fun. Seeks lady who’s energetic, open-minded, attractive and financially secure.

Ad# 3651

HARDWORKING MAN SWM, 36, brown hair/eyes, tall, 185lbs., people person, employed, ISO SF, 24-37, intelligent, pretty, with mixed interests. Friendship first. Ad# 3653

FINANCIALLY SECURE Handsome SBM, 21, 5’10”, 150lbs., seeks a very beautiful SHF, 19-29, for casual dating, maybe more. Ad# 3655

WAITING FOR THE ONE SWM, 37, 5’4”, 135lbs., brown hair, blue eyes, likes camping, fishing, hiking, NASCAR, looking for N/S SWF, 30-37. Ad# 3631

ARE YOU THE ONE? Down-to-earth, outgoing SBM, 36, 5’7”, 180lbs., bald, likes bowling, basketball, etc. Seeks slim, outgoing SBF, 30-45. Ad# 3662

LIVE FOR LOVE Friendly SWM, 37, 5’10”, 220lbs., brown hair, hazel eyes, likes building motorcycles, outdoor activities, searching for SWF, 27-45.

Ad# 3625

CUDDLE WITH ME SWCM, 21, 5’8”, 200lbs., blond hair, enjoys going to Church, varied interests.

ISO SWCF, 21, with similar interests. Ad# 3604 NEW IN TOWN 5’6”, 150lbs., blue eyes, blonde, WWWM, 47, enjoys travel, sailing, art, good food, beach. ISO SF, 35-mid 40s, seeking LTR. Ad# 2815 A GOOD HEART...

SBM, 41, down-to-earth, outgoing, N/S, enjoys music, church, sporting events, seeking loving SBF, 30-45, for friendship.

Ad# 2959

LET’S ENJOY LIFE SWM, 22, 6’2”, blondish brown hair, intelligent, funny, loves golf, swimming, movies, dining.

Seeks easygoing, serious-minded SWF, 19-29, for friendship. Ad# 4099 SUMMER FUN SWPM, mid 40s, 5’10”, 190lbs., blue eyes, extrovert, enjoys traveling, walks, good conversation, ISO adventurous SWF, 35-45, similar interests.

Ad# 3713 GIVE ME A CALL SBM, 37, 6’5”, 265lbs., brown hair, likes music, sports, quiet times at home, looking for SF, 2740, for good conversation and possibly more. Ad# 4093

1-888-223-7044

LOOKING FOR YOU SBM, 35, 6’1”, 175lbs., shy at first, friendly, outgoing, likes movies, sports, looking for honest, sweet SF, 23-43. Ad# 4094

1-888-223-7044

LET’S ENJOY LIFE SAM, 23, 5’6”, 150lbs., has a wide variety of interests. Seeking outgoing SF, 18-35, with a good sense of humor. Ad# 4073 WHAT DO YOU LIKE Fun, outgoing SM, 18, blond hair, loves music, movies, seeking SF, 1825, for fun, friendship, possible LTR. Ad# 4079 LOVE AND HAPPINESS SWM, 25, 5’11”, 180lbs., brown hair/eyes, likes the arts, photography, nature and movies. ISO caring, honest SWF, 18-28. Ad# 4085 LOOKING FOR YOU SBM, 18, 6’2”, 170lbs., enjoys traveling, movies, pets, long walks, looking for SF, 18-21, to get to know better. Ad# 4083 MAKE IT HAPPEN Friendly, outgoing SWM, 25, 5’10”, 155lbs., brown hair, blue eyes, medium build, likes sports, going out, ISO SWF, 20-32. Ad# 4091 FIRST TIME AD Attractive DWM, 6’, 200lbs., 50’s, kind, affectionate, passionate, giver, educated, financially secure. Seeks slim, attractive S/DWF, 35-50, with same qualities. Ad# 3701 NEW GUY IN TOWN SM, 26, 6’1”, 205lbs., black hair, enjoys movies, reading and evenings out.

Seeking SF, 25-30, to show me around town.

Ad# 3700 ANALIZE THIS D/SWM, 6’2”, 220lbs., brown hair, blue eyes, mustache. Enjoys music, karate, camping, NASCAR, tennis, seeking faithful, spontaneous, friendly, attractive S/DF, 30-44. Ad# 3698

www.metspirit.com SAIL WITH ME Blue-eyed WM, 6’1”, retired, no kids, enjoys sailing on yacht, water sports. ISO similar in lady, 25-35. Ad# 4045 SHARE MY LOVE SWM, 60, ISO F, 18-50, knows how to laugh and have a nice time together.

Ad# 4042 LISTEN UP Enjoys bowling, plus more. SM, 22, 6’3”, 165lbs., dark brown hair, outgoing, construction worker, ISO SF, 22-35.

Ad# 3689 HIT ME UP Augusta boy. Chocolate M, 21, ISO F, 18-45. Ad# 4027 GOOD LISTENER Physically fit WM, 6’, 185lbs., blue eyes, in sales, degreed, easygoing, fun-loving, loves cooking out, dancing, dining, simple pleasures.

ISO romantic WF, 35-55.

Ad# 3691 GIVE YOUR BEST SHOT Loves ball games, dining, fishing, going out. Have fun times with a special lady, 25-42. All inquiries answered. Ad# 3678 MAGIC MOMENTS Down-to-earth WM, 60, 5’8”, 165lbs., enjoys movies, sports, long walks, dining, quiet evenings at home.

Seeking SWF, 53-60, for possible LTR. Ad# 2827

MAGIC AND ROMANCE SBM, 24, 5’7”, 168lbs., enjoys movies, working out and music. ISO honest, down-to-earth, childless SF, 25-35, N/S, for friendship first. Ad# 2822 HERE I AM Retired DWM, 60, 185lbs., likes traveling, animals, going to church, seeks a nice, lovely lady, for companionship. Ad# 3645 CALL ME SBM, 39, very pleasant, lovable, likes sports, plays, dramas, seeks a nice lady with a beautiful smile, down-to-earth. Ad# 3580 LET’S ENJOYS LIFE SWM, 31, 5’8”, 180lbs., brown hair, green eyes, outgoing, enjoys movies, dining out, seeks outgoing, funny SWF, 25-45.

Ad# 3613

ROMANCE IS ALIVE DWPM, 56, educated, cultured, seeks WF for LTR and romantic adventure. I’m very athletic, musical, 5’10”, muscular build, good, patient listener. Ad# 2513 NO LIES! Down-to-earth BM, 34, ISO a LTR with a SF, 2147, who wants a serious relationship without head games. Ad# 3622 HELLO LADIES!!

WM, 30, with blond hair, enjoys beaches, dancing, movies and dining.

Looking to meet a SF, 2238, for friendship. Ad# 3618 WISH UPON THE STARS Outgoing SWM, 48, 5’10”, 189lbs., enjoys mountains, beaches, the outdoors, seeking SF, 35-55, with similar interests. Ad# 3599

VERY UNIQUE DBM, 45, N/S, N/D, likes sports, movies, dining out, sports, looking for SBF, 35-50, with same interests. Ad# 3589

MR. CHEF SWM, 34, 6’1”, 175lbs., blue eyes, good sense of humor, enjoys cooking, in/outdoors. Seeking SF, 20-40, welling to eat my cooking. Ad# 3596

THE CAT’S MEOW SWM, 41, 5’11”, blue eyes, no baggage, educated, enjoys biking, travel, cats, aviation. Seeks SF, 30-45. Gardening, cooking A+. Ad# 3654

BE YOURSELF SBM, 35, 6’, 180lbs., humorous, down-to-earth, enjoys church, jogging, movies, seeking SBF, 3040, with same qualities.

Ad# 3598

WASS UP?!

SWM, 20, looking for a fun girl, 18-25, to kick it with. Keep it real. Holler back. Ad# 3579 HAND IN HAND SWM, 24, 6’2”, 225lbs., dark hair/eyes, outgoing, friendly, likes shooting pool, dancing, riding motorcycles, ISO SWF, 20-35. Ad# 3564 ARE YOU THE 1?

SWM, 26, 6’, 165lbs., brown hair, green eyes, outgoing, fun, likes sports, shooting pool, movies, romantic evenings, looking for SWF, 21-28. Ad# 3572

HAPPY-GO-LUCKY SWM, 44, 5’7”, 180lbs., auburn hair, green eyes, enjoys traveling, motorcycles, certified SCUBA diver. ISO SWF true companion, 30-45, outgoing, redhead. Ad# 3209 R WE A MATCH? SWM, 40, 6’1”, 160lbs., brown hair, blue eyes, enjoys classic rock, movies, dining, more. ISO nice, friendly SF, 25-45.

Ad# 3550 ENJOYING LIFE Retired SWM, 52, 6’4”, 155lbs., reddish/blonde hair, enjoys dancing, fishing, hunting, seeking similar SWF, 44-65. Ad# 3554 GIVE ME A CALL! SBM, 6’1”, 270lbs., seeking SBPF, 35-50, for friendship, movies, walks in the park, and dining out. Ad# 2810 ATTN FEMALE CITIZEN Hardworking SWM desires intelligent, humorous, sensuous WF, 28-38, with creative and kinesthetic outlet. Call to negotiate terms of surrender.

Ad# 2785 COUNTRY LIVING SWM, 37, 6’, brown hair, hazel eyes, 215lbs., likes the outdoors, country music, NASCAR, fishing, hunting, seeks homebody SWF, 28-45. Ad# 3048 GOING TO THE RACES! SWM, 23, 5’10”, 150lbs., adventurous, smoker, likes the outdoors, sports, racing, dining, wrestling, movies. Seeking outgoing SF, 18-35, for friendship.

Ad# 3172 LET’S MEET Secure, good-natured SWM, 26, 6’2”, blue-eyed, sandy blond hair. Seeks ambitious SF, 19-27. Ad# 3080 WATCH THE SUNRISE SBM, 25, 6’9”, 225lbs., has a wide variety of interests, looking for an outgoing, sweet, caring SF, 20-39, for friendship and possibly more. Ad# 3141 WORTH THE WAIT SBM, 41, loves sports, church activities, searching for a SBF, 35-45, with similar interests, for conversation and possibly more. Ad# 3143 LOOKING FOR MY LADY SWM, 35, 6’1”, 195lbs., blond, blue eyes, enjoys cooking, dining, dancing, quiet evenings. ISO D/SWF, 25-40, for friendship, possible LTR. Ad# 2772 GOOD HEART...

Looking for love. Retired engineer, DWM, 70, 5’9”, 200lbs., seeks openminded D/SWF to share friendship, love. ISO someone who likes movies, dining out, walks, talks, and some outdoor activities like golf, fishing.

Age/race unimportant.

Ad# 2773

ISO YOU SHCM, 51, loves cooking, working out, martial arts, seeking sweet, caring SF, 30-55, to spend the rest of my life with. Ad# 3575 NEW TO ADS Outgoing, fun SBM, 38, 5’8”, black hair, 165lbs., government job, looking for SF, 28-40. What do you like to do? Ad# 3199 R U INTERESTED? SBM, 42, 5’8”, 160lbs., light complexion, enjoys baseball, movies, park walks, cooking, country music, movies. Seeking SWF, full-figured, intelligent, understanding. Ad# 3180

GUY SWEET TALK SWM, 6’2”, 240lbs., blue eyes, brown hair, 52, dating first, possible relationship. Enjoys walking, hand holding and talks.

Seeking SWM, 30-40, with feelings. Ad# 3711 MAKE THE CALL GWM, 42, 6’, 180lbs., has a wide variety of interest, ISO GWM, 20-50, for fun, friendship and conversation. Ad# 4096

SECURE AND SINGLE GWM, 31, 5’8”, 168lbs., gray eyes, brown curly hair, mustache, down-toearth, very open-minded, seeking GH/B/mixed M, 24+. Ad# 3705 WAITING FOR THE ONE GWM, 18, 6’, 130lbs., blond hair, likes long walks, horseback riding, searching for GWM, 1820, with similar interests.

Ad# 4077 ARE YOU THE ONE? BM, 37, 5’8”, 200lbs., likes quiet times at home, parks, traveling, searching for realistic BPM, 3542. Ad# 4092 AM I THE ONE? SWM, 22, 5’10”, 140lbs., good-looking, adventurous, smoker, nice, into dining, blading, enjoying life. Seeks SWM, 18-30, for companionship. Ad# 3704 MAKE IT HAPPEN BM, 29, 6’1”, 265lbs., generous-hearted trucker, enjoys dancing, singing, long walks, beaches. ISO open-minded SM, 21-30, for relationship. Ad# 3585 SMOOTH TALKER Caring SWM, 47, 5’10”, brown hair/eyes, 170lbs., handsome, loves people, likes fishing, golf, hanging out. Seeking SM, 18-20, outgoing and care-free.

Ad# 4062 BEYOND 5’11”, 155lbs., light hair, SWM, 32, looking for good time with 18-45, S guy. Ad# 4051

NO EXTRA BAGGAGE Attractive SBF, 5’7”, long black hair, heavyset, outgoing, romantic, loves candlelight dinners, long walks, holding hands, ISO 35-65, SF, serious only apply. Ad# 4029 LET’S GET TOGETHER SF, 24, 5’4”, 185lbs., dark brown hair, likes singing and family-oriented activities. Seeking SBF, 22-33, for friendship, possibly more. Ad# 3670 FRIENDSHIP FIRST! Funny, smart, down-toearth GBF, 5’6”, 125lbs., loves long walks, hand holding. ISO GF, 21-30, who likes kids and doesn’t play games. Ad# 2829 LOOKING FOR A QUEEN SBF, 30, one child, articulate, athletic, sense of humor, enjoys dancing.

ISO SB/H/WF, 24-35, for conversation, friendship.

No head games. Ad# 2821 YOUNG AT HEART Active GWF, 60, 5’5”, 122lbs., brown hair, enjoys meeting new people, dining out, short trips, ISO plus-sized GWF, 4560. Ad# 3639 KIND AND CARING GBF, 24, 5’2”, 170lbs., blond hair, energetic, loving, enjoys movies, shopping, cooking, seeking romantic, outgoing GBF, 21-27. Ad# 3642 ZEST FOR LIFE Articulate, adventurous WF, 32, 5’8”, brown hair/eyes, enjoys animals, running, movies and dining. Looking for WF, 2540, for friendship. Ad# 3611

Classifieds

43 M E T R O

Call (706) 738-1142 to place your Classified ad today!

Business Opportunities SILVER@HOME Sterling silver jewelry company needs reps. for catalog sales Work from home!! 25% Commissions!!

706.738.7387 (7/25#7727)

Equipment High Quality • Low Prices WOLFF TANNING BEDS Payments From $25/month Home Delivery FREE Color Catalog Call Today 1-888-839-5160 www.np.etstan.com (06/20#7606)

Help Wanted NOW HIRING: Companies desperately need employees to assemble products at home. No selling, any hours. $500 weekly potential. Info. 1-985646-1700 DEPT. GA-3139 (07/11#7731) $1500 a month PT - $4600-$7200 FT Work IN HOME International Company needs Supervisors and assistants. Training, Free booklet. www.FreedomFourLife.com (888)221-1931 (7/25#7733)

Part-Time Help Wanted EARN INCOME PT/FT Around your schedule.

Home-based business.

Free booklet. Full training. visionadream.com 888-685-8234 (07/11#7732)

Mind, Body & Spirit

L❤ve & Light HEALING CENTER HYPNOSIS WORKS! Stop

Smoking Lose Weight

Angel Harp Sessions with Angels Prayer Works!

Reiki Classes 1, 2 & 3

Betty L❤ ve, CHT Reiki Master 2477 Wrightsboro Rd.

733-4187 ❤ 733-8550

Mrs. Graham Psychic

Specializing in Love Affairs

733-5851 2463 Wrightsboro Road

AVAILABLE FOR PARTIES

Alt. Lifestyles

THE COLISEUM

Professional Massage Friendly experienced male.

Stress relief for healthy men 18 - 45.

All hotel clients $40/hr. Out or hotel calls only.

706-739-9139 (07/11#7725)

Hot High Energy Dance Music And Laser Light Show

Friday, 7/12

Mallory Bishop Saturday, 7/13

Ravionne

Full Body Massage!

Therapeutic tension relief, intense or tender touch, rela xing music, aromatherapy, by appointment only - $49.00/hr.

Call Joy - 771-9470 or John - 474-1314 (07/11#7711)

Coming 7/27

Hot Male Strippers

Drink Specials: Wed - $7 Wet N' Wild Fri & Sat - $9 All You Can Drink Draft Sat - $2 Bud/Bud Light

Hot Dog Buffet $2.99

Open Mon-Fri 7pm-3am Sat 7pm-2:30am

Fri & Sat. No Cover Before 10 p.m.

1632 Walton Way • Augusta, GA

706-733-2603

www.ColiseumAugusta.com

Sports

www.metspirit.com

MASTERS Cash Paid for Old Masters Badges & Masters Memoriabilia Paying Top Dollar 706-724-5648 or 706-399-5208 or 399-1208 (08/01#7736)

TELLS ALL Advises on Past, Present & Future

Travel

706/829-2676

www.metspirit.com

OR

706/798-9060

Talk Line DESIRE HOT TALK! 66¢ to $1 per minute FREE 15 Minute Call Choose the Model you want Unrestricted 24 hrs. 18+ 1-702-216-3500 CC/Checks accepted A-10 (11/14#7707)

Hey,

somebody has to make

first

FRIDAY & SATURDAY Show Night w/ Special Guests

We want your dead junk or scrap car bodies.

We tow away and for some we pay.

www.mccaugustaga.homestead.com/home.html

the

EVERY THURSDAY Talent Night $1.00 Beer

Dead Bodies Wanted

Religion Metropolitan Community Church of Our Redeemer A Christian Church reaching to all: including Gay, Lesbian, and Transgendered Christians.

Meeting at 311 Seventh Street, 11 am and 7 pm each Sunday. 722-6454 MCCAugusta@aol.com

Marlboro Station Where the Party Never Stops!

Wheels

move.

SUNDAY NIGHT Starlight Cabaret w/ Claire Storm & Lauren Alexander Wed-Fri 8pm-5am Sat 8pm-3am; Sun 8pm-5am 141 Marlboro Street, Aiken • 803-644-6485 w w w.marlboro.4mg.net 18 to Party • 21 to Drink

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To place an ad on our automated ad taking system call 1-800-743-2873 For a live operator call 1-800-783-1131 ext. 533

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