Metro Spirit 08.08.2002 by Metro Spirit

AUGUST 8-14

VOL. 14 NO. 01

THE METROPOLITAN

Linda Schrenko P. 18

PIT BULLS

Arts, Issues & Entertainment

Questions About the Special Grand Jury P. 11 Is the Civic Center Disintegrating? P.13 Your Complete Guide to Arts, Entertainment and Events

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Contents The Metropolitan Spirit

AUGUS T 1-7, 2002

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METSPIRIT.COM

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Cover Design: Stephanie Carroll Pit Bull Photo: Brian Neill

FEATURE

Linda Schrenko: What Adversity?

By Brian Neill...........................................18

Hot Deals in the

Summer Time

Opinion Whine Line ......................................................................4 Words ..............................................................................4 Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down ..........................................4 This Modern World ........................................................4 Suburban Torture ...........................................................7 Austin Rhodes ................................................................8 Insider ...........................................................................10

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Metro Beat

The Black Community Unites Against the Grand Jury ....................................................................11 Civic Center's Troubles Get Worse .............................13

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Arts Season Tickets Come With Extra Perks .....................20 Columbia County Arts Keeps Busy With Summer Concert ..........................................................................22

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Cinema: Review Garish “XXX” Is Just Laughable....27

Movie Listings .............................................................24 Review: “XXX” ..............................................................27 Review: “Master of Disguise” ....................................27 Movie Clock ..................................................................28

Events

8 Days a Week .............................................................29

Music

More to the Baha Men than “Dogs” ...........................34 Atlanta Offers Up Diverse Musical Palette This Week ..............................................................................34 Music By Turner ............................................................35 Free Beer Makes People Happy .................................36 Nightlife ........................................................................ 37

Stuff

News of the Weird .......................................................39 Brezsny's Free Will Astrology .....................................40 New York Times Crossword Puzzle ............................40 Amy Alkon: The Advice Goddess ................................41 Classifieds ....................................................................42 Date Maker ...................................................................46

EDITOR & PUBLISHER David Vantrease ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Rhonda Jones STAFF WRITERS Stacey Eidson, Brian Neill ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Joe White ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Kriste Lindler PRODUCTION MANAGER Joe Smith GR APHIC ARTISTS Stephanie Carroll, Natalie Holle ASSISTANT TO THE PUBLISHER Meli Gurley RECEPTIONIST/CLASSIFIED COORDINATOR Sharon King ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT ASSISTANT Lisa Jordan CIRCULATION DIRECTOR Meli Gurley SENIOR MUSIC CONTRIBUTOR Ed Turner CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Chuck Shepherd, Rob Brezsny, Austin Rhodes, Amy Alkon, Rachel Deahl CARTOONISTS Tom Tomorrow, Julie Larson

THE METROPOLITAN SPIRIT is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks of the year. Editorial coverage includes ar ts, local issues, news, enter tainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publishers. Visit us at www.metspirit.com. Copyright © The Metropolitan Spirit Inc. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. Phone: (706) 738-1142 Fax: (706) 733-6663 E-mail: spirit@metspirit.com Letters to the Editor: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, Ga. 30914-3809

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Whine Line Thumbs Up Public outcry saved the city’s First Friday event from being zapped in typical “we know what’s best for the citizens” fashion over a ridiculous antidrinking ordinance that would have kept event-goers from having a social drink in their hands as they went from display to display. Open container laws make sense and should be upheld, but not in the context of a street festival that brings much-needed dollars to downtown. For those who choose not to act like adults, there is also a law governing disorderly conduct, which should be swiftly enforced.

Thumbs Down Break out the pacifiers and baby rattles, because the members of the Richmond County Coliseum Authority are, indeed, acting like a bunch of babies. All this bickering and powergrabbing is akin to little kids fighting over and protecting their tree fort. And then, former General Manager Reggie Williams has the nerve to state in a letter, the contents of which were outlined in the Augusta Focus, that “in years past some might have called it [his termination] a lynching.” This is a guy who had next to nothing in the way of answers or solutions at meeting after meeting of the Coliseum Authority. Take your deck of race cards and play them somewhere else.

’m glad to see Mayor Young and the Augusta Commissioners have decided to keep the city government’s administration offices in the historic downtown business district. I hope they restore a historic building near the new Augusta Commons for the new offices and include a much larger commission chamber in the interior design. We need to make the new commission chamber as big as possible, so ordinary citizens won’t have to stand out in the hallway when we attend meetings of the Augusta Commission. Some time ago, I advised your readers who might be interested in a Nuwaubian update to go to the Web site for the Southern Poverty Law Center – splcenter.org – and read Bob Moser’s article in “The Intelligence Report.” I apologize for not mentioning that the article is not yet published. It should be published soon. Finally our downtown is going somewhere but why is there a Section 8 housing project known as the “Richmond Summit” in our Central Business District? If we are going to attract business we must restore the parking and stop the bums and panhandlers. Can you imagine any other city placing projects in its business district? I hear people saying the crime rate is going to rise if that adult bookstore opens. Excuse me, but doesn’t downtown Augusta have almost a dozen “gentlemen’s clubs” there? You have to worry more about panhandlers than getting robbed. These clubs open around noon and stay open until late at night. Some of these clubs are located next to some very nice restaurants. So what’s the big deal about an adult bookstore opening basically in a very sparsely populated location? What kind of crime is going to erupt there? Get real. The store is not the problem, just some of you prudes out there are afraid what your neighbor may see at the store is all!

W O R D S “I think there are some trade-offs. But when you step beyond the banks, that’s when you begin to pick up the scent of stench.” — Augusta Mayor Bob Young, as quoted in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, referring to a state audit of $20 million in grant funds state Sen. Charles Walker brought to Augusta. Young, who was described in the story as one of Walker’s “enemies,” said he thought the accusations that bankers were benefitting from some of the grant funds were false, but that some of the audit findings posed ethical questions as to how grant funds were used after they left the banks. Walker and the agencies receiving the grants, including the Augusta Neighborhood Improvement Corp., have refuted any allegations of wrongdoing.

What really makes me whine is all the retail stores in Augusta! They have lines all the way down the aisle and there never is any customer service. But go in there to apply for a job and they tell you they aren’t hiring. The sales tax holiday was a zoo. Stores were packed. We need more of these to stimulate our economy. The Tax Assessor’s Office is going to be very crowded with complainers after the notices are mailed concerning the increase in property valuations. Where did these folks come up with the numbers? There is apparently no rhyme or reason for some of the changes. Some property values have actually been doubled and tripled. Ridiculous. Augusta is dying under the weight of its so-called current leaders. The only way to help remedy that is help Augusta get a new mayor. With many years’ experience former Rep. Robin Williams has a grasp of how to make things happen. I say out with the old administration and in with the new one.

I’m curious if Mr. Amon-Ra, who claims to have Egyptian heritage due to his name, has an opinion about the fact that ancient Egyptians held Hebrew people as slaves and how that pertains to modern American slavery. I’m just curious if he has an opinion on that. I volunteer with one of the local humane societies and the cruelty and ignorance of 90 percent of the population constantly amaze me. Animals are abused, chained outside, allowed to breed, denied medical treatment, and often ignored. When their owners get tired of them, the animals are abandoned or thrown away like trash. No wonder Animal Control stays busy killing animals. If people can’t properly take care of an animal they shouldn’t have one. Will the person who came up with the idea of squelching First Friday by disallowing beverages on the street please step forward? You are needed in the lab. Your brain could be utilized for scientific tests. It certainly is doing no good here. continued on page 6

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To the whiner that said the following: “Now that those coal miners have been rescued the Democrats are gonna try to blame the whole ordeal on President Bush.” The Democrats don’t need to blame this ordeal on Bush. We have so much more material to work with: Enron, Harken, 9/11, the theft of election 2000, and I can go on and on. The Braves are kicking but the strike looms. It will be awful if the Braves get the shaft this year due to the pampered and overpaid baseball players. Don’t strike. Baseball cannot survive a longterm strike. We want our World Series.

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continued from page 4

One good turn deserves another. Mayor Young passes off his troubled chief to another city and Senator Walker attempts to pass off his clueless son to another house (a Congressional House). There is no interest in the primary elections anywhere even though they are only two weeks away. I predict voter turnout will be at an all-time low. Brian Quinsey has been nothing for Columbia County except a pawn of his mentor and friend, Jim West. To contribute to Charles Walker’s campaign was the crowning blow of stupidity! Now Quincy must go, and with him all of Columbia County’s politicians who continue to support the ineffective, inefficient Metro Chamber. This is the time for Columbia County to clean up the whole mess, to establish a “Columbia County First” economic development organization, and to stop pouring money down the “Metro” rat hole. Where is Andy “why can’t we get along” Cheek?

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When I examine the facts regarding the dispute among the members of the Coliseum Authority, I see the collective group suffering from “Cranial Rectitus.” I wonder if the situation would be different if the SCLC had made the complaint and not the Methodist Church? Can’t we fix the problem and not the blame? Thank goodness for men like Ronnie Few, Charles Walker and Ed McIntyre. After

all, without them what would the tobaccochewing, Confederate flag-waving, country and Western music-listening Harleydrivin’ po’ white trailer trash, inbred rednecks of Augusta have to talk about? Who is this Bobby Ross? He sure better get to work if he wants anybody to know who he is before the election. I am so fed up with Bob Young and his shortage of common sense. Sending an “embellished” letter of recommendation to Washington wasn’t the smartest thing to do. Even though he did not violate the letter of the law, he violated the public’s trust. Mayor Young hasn’t admitted even once he did anything ethically wrong because he has been too busy blaming everybody else. It’s that kind of attitude that I consider to be a slap in the face. He is “deficient in judgement and good sense” which, by definition, is an imbecile. I’ve heard all I need to about the “perp walks” involving the WorldCom higher ups. The great debate about whether the constant reruns of them being led away in handcuffs is moot. Whether it instills confidence or reminds people of the sorry state of corporate America, these guys deserve to be disgraced and, if proven guilty, sent to prison. They took my money and the money of millions of other investors. Has anyone seen Austin Rhodes’ college diploma? No, and you won’t see it either. I am happy to see Richmond County schools implementing a dress code policy for teachers, by not allowing them to wear capri pants. When I was young and morals were high, the only time you saw a woman wearing long pants was when she was cleaning the barn or plowing. Ken Kraemer appears to be one of the few intelligent people we have running things in this city. Go Ken. Thanks to some of the folks in Augusta for teaching me all about racism. I thought I knew everything I needed to know about it since I once lived in Gary, Ind., but I saw I was wrong after living here for 18 months.

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lot of crap for her efforts. I’d say her personal credibility has a lot riding on the things the airport director talked about in his interview with Ms. Eidson. Good luck.

I must commend the city leaders who convinced Chris Naylor of Main Street Augusta to abandon the idea of requiring drinks in restaurants only at First Friday. Disaster avoided. Also, the city had Broad Street cleaned up early Saturday morning when I took a walk down there. Good work.

Could we call a meeting and do a collective rain dance? My lawn is pitiful. We’ve been in a drought for years. What’s up?

S P I R I T

Austin Rhodes is nothing but a two-bit racist. He sells a lot of bull crap and sadly people who don’t know any better buy into it. Austin tries with all effort to fuel racism here in Augusta. He goes on about, he likes black people, but it seems the only blacks he likes and cares for are the “Uncle Tom” blacks. Augusta does have a serious problem with racism and Austin is adding fuel to the fire. Austin needs to leave Augusta, or better yet, the state of Georgia. It’s people like him who’s giving the citizens of this city and state a bad name.

A U G

Black, white, black, white, blah, blah, blah. Every time I pick up The Spirit it’s racist this and racist that. All you people remind me of Oscar on Sesame Street. He contributed nothing. Once in a while he would stick his head out of his trashcan to complain. Just because you pay taxes you think you have done your part and you blah, blah, blah. In the movie “Wall Street” Gordon Gecko said, “Greed is good.” Unfortunately, a lot of these corporate shysters and greedy investors took his words to heart. Greed, as it turns out for most of us, is not good. Not good at all.

It’s amazing but not surprising that almost every time something comes out in the newspaper that is low-rent or under-the-table type of stuff that Lee Beard’s name is mentioned prominently!

I seriously doubt that all the hype coming out of the airport comes about. How can we go from no service to several airlines competing for our limited emplanements in such a short time? If all this works, we should elect Marcie Wilhemi as mayor of something. She’s taken a

— Call our Whine Line at 510-2051 and leave your comments. We won’t use your name. Fax your whines by dialing (706) 733-6663 or e-mail your whines to whine@metspirit.com

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Opinion: Austin Rhodes

Parting Thoughts ... I Have a Plane To Catch

orgive the brevity this week ... in this case it has nothing to do with “the soul of wit”... it is merely the side effect of writing this thing while my flight to Pittsburgh waits. On The “Rally” Only in Augusta, Ga., can a black millionaire tell a roomful of black folks how unfair and corrupt the local “system” is, and how people of color who are in positions of power can’t get a break. Charles Walker is as blind as he is rich. Or perhaps, he just likes BS. Citing the special grand jury’s failure to go after any white folks (yet), the state senator and a fine cast of supporters spent Monday night’s “rally” at Antioch Baptist Church trying to “defend” the black leaders of the city. I wish a few of those “defenders” had been around to lend a hand the next day when Augusta’s black city administrator was left swinging in the wind by four black Augusta city commissioners. Where were the calls for righteous empowerment when George Kolb was on the verge of becoming the most powerful black man in municipal government? Where were the men screaming for “black justice” and equal treatment when history was about to be made? I will tell you where they were: They were cowering in fear at the possibility that an intelligent, well-educated leader was about to be given the ability to unravel their world of cronyism and mediocrity. George Kolb is a black man, but he isn’t their black man, and that, my friends, will forever hinder his existence here. Kolb is a man who studies issues and makes decisions based on logic and fact. Those qualities don’t sit well with folks who defend the likes of Carl Scott and Reggie Williams. Give George Kolb the ability to run the city and the first casualties will be the unqualified political hacks he runs off. But the black commissioners know that, and Tuesday they got Andy Cheek to go along in their vote to block giving the administrator the power to administrate. If Cheek’s political future had to be assessed right now, the only man in Augusta qualified to do it would be Coroner Leroy Sims. But I digress. The morphing of our fair city into a smaller, smellier version of Atlanta took a grand step forward this week. It is not a matter of racial equality that the minority leaders in our community want to ensure, it is the political agenda of the black good ol’ boys who are now in control. This thing is going to get uglier before it gets better, and that is if “better” is even a remote possibility. Speaking Of Reggie Williams Those in the minority community who believe the firing of the civic center GM was a racist plot contrived to “keep a brother down,” need to get a big, fat load of Frank

Lawrence’s recent diatribe about the facility. The owner of the Augusta Stallions Arena 2 Football franchise says he will suspend operations if improvements in service and conditions are not forthcoming at the Civic Center. Lawrence says he wants a better deal for his team when it comes to revenue sharing, but what got my attention were his complaints about the upkeep, maintenance and personnel at the complex. The laundry list of problems was exhaustive, and 100 percent under the direct purview of Reggie Williams. The GM is ultimately responsible for the types of complaints Lawrence had, and his complaints were ongoing for the entire season. Frank Lawrence’s criticisms were valid, and make a great case for the argument that Williams’ canning was way overdue. Ironically, Lawrence is a good friend and big financial supporter of Charles Walker. I wonder if Senator Walker is going to make any fiery speeches accusing Frank Lawrence of being a closet Klansman? Can’t have it both ways, folks. Off To The Steel City A few more tidbits while security at Hartsfield disassembles my daughter’s hairdryer. • Brad Means’ diet has worked wonders ... now Brad ... can you hand that thing off to George Eskola? • Why is it that when Charles Howell brushes his teeth we get an update in The Chronicle, but Augusta’s own Kendrell Bell (Laney great, UGA standout, and NFL Rookie of the Year with the Steelers) doesn’t warrant one good, locally written, feature piece? • It is amazing that Jackie Boatwright can get the state of Georgia to require all daycare centers to carry liability insurance, but never addresses the fact that parents, like her, aren’t mandated to carry health insurance for their children? • Chris Naylor’s secret plan to boost the crowd at First Friday worked so well that next month he is going to announce that heterosexuals will not be allowed to attend. • Linda Schrenko is about to become the GOP’s nominee for governor of Georgia. Among her first campaign moves will be to merge the new state bird and new state food and feed it to her detractors: crow. • Augusta’s minority leaders had the nerve to ask out loud where the city’s white leaders were during their “rally.” They wanted to be there, but they had pressing business. They were all meeting with their Columbia County real estate agents. • You guys look for me and Christine on ESPN, Jets at Steelers, Thursday night at 8 p.m. I will be the guy in the Steelers shirt. — The views expressed in this column are the views of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. The archived Austin Rhodes columns can now be seen at www.wgac.com.

9 M E T R O

VOTE AUGUST 20 FOR

Peggy

S P I R I T

LICHTENBURG COLUMBIA COUNTY COMMISSIONER DISTRICT 3

A U G 8 2 0 0 2

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Opinion: Insider

Voter Apathy Plagues Primary Election

re primary elections really scheduled for August 20? On a local level the campaign scene is so quiet, it appears to many observers that this year’s primary is one of the least interesting to date. Perhaps the last week or 10 days before the election will result in more interest. So far, it is dullsville. Reports from Richmond and Columbia County find apathy galore. Political insiders predict a very small voter turnout. Voter apathy is always a problem but politicos are very concerned about it during this election cycle because of the significance of a few of the races. Note the following elections of interest: • Columbia County will elect a county-wide chairman of the Columbia County Commission for the first time yet political insiders report that the interest level in the race is low, low, low. This is a very important race with two completely different personalities vying for the position. Ron Cross and Andy Kingery, both Republicans, will compete for the position. Perhaps the Chamber of Commerce forum next week will jump-start conversation about the contest. • Another new office up for grabs is the 12th U.S. Congressional District House seat. Five Democratic candidates from Augusta are in the race, along with one candidate from Savannah and one from Athens. Former state Rep. Ben Allen, Denise Freeman, Chuck Pardue, Merwyn Scott, and Charles Walker Jr. hail from Augusta. Tony Center is from Savannah and Robert Finch is from Athens. Walker has been anointed as the man to beat district-wide but local insiders report that Scott may carry the Augusta portion of the district. Barbara Dooley and Max Burns face each other in the Republican primary. • Hometown candidate Linda Schrenko,

Georgia’s School Superintendent, is in a three-way race for the Republican nomination for governor. Sonny Perdue and Bill Byrne are her opponents. Schrenko has been the underdog but recent press reports and poll numbers indicate she now has the lead among Republican voters. Reliable sources report that the large group of undecided voters, approximately 45 per cent of those polled, will decide the outcome. Political experts say a runoff between Schrenko and Perdue is very possible. In that event, Byrne will endorse Schrenko. • Three contests for the state legislature are underway but little is heard about them except within the confines of the specific districts impacted. The races are somewhat unique this year because of special circumstances. In District 96 Democrats Bo Hunter and David Bell are campaigning hard to see who replaces retiring state Rep. Jack Connell. The winner will face a fierce campaign against Republican Sue Burmeister in November. Quincy Murphy and Robert Jones vie for state Rep. Ben Allen’s old Democratic seat in District 97. Allen left the seat open when he decided to run for Congress. Mary Oglesby is challenging state Rep. George DeLoach in the District 99 Republican primary in south Augusta. The winner will face Democrat Pete Warren in the fall contest. This district was redrawn last year and favors a Democrat. Unless something changes drastically, the number of voters who show up to vote on Aug. 20 could be embarrassingly low. Let’s hope something sparks the interest of voters. So far, the candidates have not. —The views expressed in this column are the views of The Insider and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

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M E T R O S P I R I T A U G

The Black Community Unites Against the Grand Jury

BY STACEY EIDSON

Photo: Jimmy Carter

he evening sunlight streaming through the stained-glass windows of Antioch Baptist Church on Florence Street cast a vivid, reddish-pink hue over the more than 200 black citizens sitting shoulder-to-shoulder in the church’s pews. The windows within the church made the outside world appear as if it were on fire. But the night’s real heat was ablaze inside the church’s doors. During a more than two-hour town meeting on Aug. 5, organized by three politically active local black organizations – Augusta’s chapter of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, the Concerned Ministers of Augusta and the Concerned Citizens of Augusta – members of Augusta’s black community spoke freely about their outrage and deep frustration over the recent allegations against local black leaders made by the special grand jury. Just last week, the special grand jury released its latest report criticizing the handling of the city’s Minority Link Deposit Program. This program was developed prior to consolidation to assist small, minority- and femaleowned businesses. According to the special grand jury’s Aug. 1 report, the only companies that benefited from the loan program were a bank and two businesses with political “connections.” Just last month, on July 8, the special grand jury released a highly critical, 124page report on Augusta’s fire department which claimed former Fire Chief Ronnie Few allegedly opened unauthorized bank accounts using a county tax ID number, misspent the city’s money and intimidated other employees. Rev. Kenneth Martin, pastor of Antioch Baptist Church, told those attending the town meeting that it’s time for the black community to stand up and tell the special grand jury enough is enough. Seated behind Martin were approximately 30 black political leaders and ministers, including state Senator Charles Walker, Augusta Commissioner Lee Beard, local banker Cedric Johnson, and the Rev. J.R. Hatney of Good Hope Baptist Church. The night’s rally began when Hatney approached the podium and told the audience that since the days of slavery and the Civil War in 1865, black people in America have experienced a long struggle that continues even today. As recent as last year, during a meeting with local legislators, Hatney said a white man approached him, extremely upset.

“We must get beyond this racial divide. ... We must abandon the excuses.” – state Sen. Charles Walker “I said, ‘What are you upset about?’” Hatney said. “He said, ‘I am upset because what is wrong with Augusta is black folk.’” The impression that this white man had of Augusta’s black citizens was that they wanted all of the political power and all of the governmental positions, without any of the work. Hatney said he couldn’t believe that a seemingly educated man had this view of the entire black community. “The struggle goes on,” Hatney said. Mallory Millender, a professor of journalism at Paine College, told the audience that it was important for the black community to understand what’s behind each presentment from the grand jury. “What you put into the grand jury determines what comes out of the grand jury,” Millender said. “Garbage in, garbage out.”

Millender said about three weeks ago, after the grand jury released its report about the fire department, he and three other black leaders met with District Attorney Danny Craig to find out how people were selected to become members of the grand jury. According to Millender, Craig told the group that a computer randomly chooses members of a regular grand jury from a list of 20,000 names and members of a special grand jury from a pool of about 2,000 people. “He (Craig) said, ‘These people who serve on the special grand jury are the most intelligent people in the community. They are the cream of the crop. They are the conscience of the community,’” Millender said. “The only problem is, no one seems to know who they are.” Millender also said he had a problem

with the fact that it appears only city departments with black directors are being targeted by the grand jury. “Why weren’t all of the departments investigated?” Millender asked. “Of the eight presentments released by the grand jury, not a single white person has been accused of any wrongdoings. Is that because white people don’t do much?” The audience exploded with applause and laughter and gave Millender a standing ovation at the conclusion of his speech. While the grand jury’s most damning reports have centered around black leaders and department heads such as Few, the grand jury has also reviewed problems with the city’s pension plan, waste water treatment contract and indigent health care program. And within the July 8 report, the grand jury called for the replacement of a white fire prevention chief as well as the termination of a black deputy fire chief. Augusta Commissioner Lee Beard, who has been a popular subject of several of the grand jury reports, was asked to speak specifically to the grand jury’s report on the fire department. Beard told the audience that from the very beginning it seemed that the people were out to get Few. “We gave, as a commission, Chief Few $10,000 to move from his home, just like all other candidates applying for department head positions,” Beard said. “He only spent $6,500 of that. But even in his first year here, the DA had an investigation on him trying to find out how he spent $6,500 when the commission had authorized $10,000.” The problem the grand jury had with the former fire department’s actions regarding the moving expenses was that Few acknowledged to the grand jury that he gave the county a fictitious receipt from a moving company on which Few’s wife signed the company owner’s name. Beard went on to say that the pay raises implemented by Few, which the grand jury regarded as unjust and discriminatory, were approved by the former county administrator and the human resources director. He also said the attacks that the grand jury made on Deputy Fire Chief Carl Scott were completely unfounded and undeserved. “Chief Scott was the interim fire chief for Augusta two or three different times and I don’t think we had any problems during that time. We got the same fire service,” Beard said. “But the grand jury tried to make it that this man could not

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“What you put into the grand jury, determines what comes out of the grand jury. ... Garbage in, garbage out.” – Mallory Millender, a professor of journalism at Paine College

run a fire department. “I really think there should be someone to investigate the grand jury.” John Maben, president of the local NAACP, took it one step further and called for an investigation of the district attorney. Local pastor Nathaniel Charles agreed, saying that when the grand jury doesn’t investigate white politicians like former Augusta Mayor Charles DeVaney, whom he said played a major role in almost bankrupting the former city of Augusta, then the grand jury is being selective in its review of city operations. Charles also said that the media perpetuates the grand jury’s bias by running articles and editorials critical of black leaders. “Make sure you get the right information,” Charles warned the audience.

“Don’t allow some of our newspapers to make your opinion of what is going on. We need to be very careful about who we pay to call us stupid.” Local banker Cedric Johnson knows exactly how the media and the grand jury can damage a reputation. In the grand jury’s most recent report, Johnson is criticized for telling the commission that his former employer, Regions Bank, helped 10 to 12 contractors receive loans through the Link Deposit program. In the report, the grand jury claims only three loans were made by Regions. That is inaccurate information, Johnson said. The city’s housing department provided The Spirit with records of 11 loans Johnson or his bank provided to small,

minority and women businesses through the Link Deposit program. “The report is very disturbing because I’ve spent over 20 years in the community as a banker trying to build up a reputation of being an honest and fair individual and within a day or so, people can say and put things in the report and other newspapers that pretty much made me into a criminal or a crook,” Johnson said in his office prior to the town meeting. “My opinion of the grand jury report, when I go back and look at it, with all the inaccuracies and the way it is slanted, I have to wonder what is the real intent of the grand jury report,” Johnson said. There were other banks in the community that held city money for the Link Deposit program, but none of the bankers at those institutions were named in the grand jury report. “So, I have to really wonder, why was I the only banker mentioned in the report?” Johnson asked. At the town meeting, Johnson tried to remain positive by beginning his comments with a playful jab at the grand jury. In the grand jury report, Johnson is cited as Beard’s nephew. Johnson said that is a perfect example of the grand jury’s poor information. “First of all, they have Lee Beard being my uncle,” Johnson said. “He is not my uncle; he’s my father’s uncle. But we’re kin. “Another inaccuracy in the report is that I ran the (Link Deposit) program at the Peach Orchard branch (of Regions Bank). I never worked at the Peach Orchard branch.” Instead, a white loan officer worked at the Peach Orchard branch and handled two of the loans mentioned in the grand jury report, he said. Johnson also said that the grand jury claimed that the city was provided a low interest rate through Regions. Instead, Johnson said that from Jan. 25, 1996 to May of 2000, the city earned $313,000 in interest from Regions. “I was villainized for trying to make this program work,” Johnson told the audience. “It is very troubling to know that lives are being impacted by this inaccurate report. And it is important for us as citizens to not only demand the truth, but hold them accountable for the truth.” Finally, Sen. Walker stepped forward to tell the audience that Augusta must get beyond this “petty thing called racism.” Walker said, on average, city officials are in agreement about 95 percent of the time, however the public only hears about the other 5 percent from the media, which usually blames the problem on race. “We must get beyond this racial divide,”

Walker said. “We must abandon the excuses.” Walker ended his speech with a lesson that he believes all Augustans need to hear. “Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. And that gazelle realizes that that it has to outrun every other gazelle in order to stay alive,” Walker said. “Because if it does not outrun the other gazelles, he is going to be eaten by the lion.” As well, every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up and realizes that he must catch the slowest gazelle, Walker said. “If he does not catch the slowest gazelle, he is going to starve to death,” Walker said. “It makes no difference whether you are the lion or the gazelle; when the sun comes up, you’d better be running.” The audience pounded their hands together, shouting, “Amen.” “Whether you are black or whether you’re white, when the sun comes up, you'd better be running,” Walker said. However, during the question-andanswer period of the meeting, Gregory Fuller, pastor at Macedonia Baptist Church, said that, in Augusta, Walker’s story is a little different. “When you break my legs, you can’t ask me to get up and run,” he said. Noticing there were no white politicians at the meeting, Fuller then asked Martin, pastor of the Antioch Baptist Church, if Augusta Mayor Bob Young was invited to the meeting. “He was informed, but no, he was not invited,” Martin said. Fuller then asked about the five white Augusta commissioners. “They were informed,” Martin reiterated. “But they were not invited.” Local black business owner J.R. Riles wondered what would be the black community’s next step after this initial meeting. “I want to know, where are we going to go from here tonight?” Riles asked. Several members of the audience called for a boycott of The Augusta Chronicle, while Martin promised there would be follow-up meetings in the community regarding future grand jury reports. But before the meeting was adjourned, local community leader Margaret Armstrong said that the people need to do more than just talk; they need to take action. “I would like to challenge everybody here: It is time that we need to get out and vote,” Armstrong said loudly from the back of the church, immediately commanding attention. “We don’t need to just keep talking. If we are going to make a change, we need to make a change at that ballot box.”

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Civic Center's Troubles Get Worse

fter weeks of bickering among members of the Augusta-Richmond County Coliseum Authority about the future management of the civic center, Augusta Commissioner Bill Kuhlke has proposed putting an end to the future of the coliseum authority itself. On Aug. 6, Kuhlke told his fellow commissioners that he is sick of hearing about the chaos down at the civic center. “I think we have a serious situation with the coliseum authority,” Kuhlke said. “And I think it is so serious that I think that we, as the commission, need to discuss it very fully with the legislative delegation.” The coliseum authority is a body created by the local legislative delegation in Atlanta. Any changes to the authority must be formally voted on by the legislative delegation during its 2003 session. Beyond just meeting with the delegation, Kuhlke also wanted City Administrator George Kolb to begin drawing up a game plan for the civic center’s future. “I would also like to have him (Kolb) implement some type of plan in the event that the coliseum authority is abolished,” Kuhlke said, “which I hope we will recommend to the legislative delegation and bring the civic center under this government.” Kuhlke’s proposal comes after a week of all-time lows for the civic center, including the potential loss of the Augusta Stallions, the city’s arenafootball2 team, due to unsatisfactory conditions at the facility. Augusta Commissioner Andy Cheek called the situation at the civic center grave. Just last week, Cheek’s appointment to the coliseum authority, Fred Reed, sent a letter to the media stating that he has become increasingly frustrated in the last 10 to 12 months because of what he described as “turmoil” involving the authority. “We all stood before a judge in Richmond County and swore an oath to do our best to serve the people of Augusta,” Reed wrote. “We have a fiduciary responsibility as well to make sure the funds allocated for the civic center and the Bell Auditorium are spent correctly and wisely. “I can say personally, that that has not happened for the past year. The authority has been too worried about who is in power and what color they might be.” A special called meeting of the authority by a handful of board members on Aug. 2 turned into a complete joke. The intent of the meet-

BY STACEY EIDSON

ing was to elect new officers to the board and settle a dispute the authority members were having regarding how much money the civic center should refund the North Georgia United Methodists for a poorly managed conference held at the facility in June. All but one white member of the coliseum authority showed up at the meeting, while no black authority members were in attendance. There were not enough members present to conduct the meeting. Bonnie Ruben, who was a member of the authority for almost 10 years up until Augusta Commissioner Lee Beard replaced her on Aug. 6, was disappointed to find out that two authority members, Bernard Harper and Billy Holden, backed out of their promise to attend her last meeting on Aug. 2. Ruben’s term had officially expired. Reed, who had lunch with Harper that same day, announced to the authority that there was a reason Harper would not attend the meeting. “Bernard (Harper) said he has been physically threatened,” Reed said. Stunned, Ruben asked what exactly Reed meant by being “physically threatened.” “He told me that he had three phone calls that physically threatened his welfare if he showed up here today,” Reed said. Several calls made to Harper by The Spirit seeking comment were not returned. “Are we going to have to start hiring armed guards to come to meetings?” Ruben asked. Several of the authority members also complained that they were having trouble receiving information from the civic center because the interim chairman, Joe Scott, allegedly asked civic center employees not to give out any information unless he approved it. Authority member Carolyn Usry specifically asked the civic center’s interim general manager, Linda Roberts, if she was given such a direction from Scott. “I was told everything had to go through the chairman,” Roberts said. Scott also did not return calls made by The Spirit seeking comment. Usry said that Scott’s request is a direct violation of the state’s open records act. “I was sworn in on this authority just like Joe Scott was, by a judge,” Usry said. “I have as much right to records as any other member.” Ruben told the authority that she could not even get a list of the media’s fax numbers from the civic center to inform the media of the Aug. 2 meeting because Scott did not

allow it. However, Reed said that the civic center’s staff should not be blamed for Scott’s actions. “They are stuck between us,” Reed said. “We are asking for information that Mr. Scott has told them not to give us and they are stuck in the middle. “I know it’s wrong and I’m upset about it. But I don’t want to fault them. They don’t even want to come to work in that type of situation.” Authority member Bill Maddox said he sympathizes with the civic center employees, but warned them he expects to receive information he requests. “If I call down here and ask for information, and somebody doesn’t give it to me, I want you to understand that I have an attorney,”

record request. Mr. Scott or nobody else can deny me that information. That’s a state law. “You have to give it to me, or anybody on the street that comes in here asking for information, because it’s a public building.” Maddox also said if the other members of the authority want to play games and not show up when a meeting is called, he and the other four members present won’t show up at the next meeting either. “Everybody can play these games,” Maddox said. “I hate to see it come to this. But if they don’t want to meet, we don’t have to come at the next meeting and let’s see if they have a quorum. “Personally, I don’t see a lot of hope down here.”

Maddox said. “And I will file an open

“I think we have a serious situation with the coliseum authority.” – Augusta Commissioner Bill Kuhlke

Fight for a better future.

Elect David Bell. Democratic Primary House District 96. Tuesday, August 20th. PA I D F O R B Y T H E C O M M I T T E E T O E L E C T D A V I D B E L L

M E T R O

PUNCH #50

S P I R I T A U G 8 2 0 0 2

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PIT BULLS W

hen Deputy Nino Consiglio arrived at the scene of an animal attack call in the Laney-Walker area roughly seven months ago, he wasn’t prepared for what he would encounter. On the steps of a brick porch fronting narrow Cedar Street, 39-year-old Annette Heggs lay helplessly as two pit bulls literally ate away her flesh. As Consiglio exited his patrol car and ran toward her, he could clearly see bone protruding through a gaping wound on Higgs’ arm where one of the dogs had torn away a swath of skin between her elbow and wrist. Blood was everywhere. “The white pit bull was sitting on her chest, attempting to get at her throat,” Consiglio recently recalled. “She had her arm up and I could see that she was done. She was doing everything she could do to try to stop it. The brown pit bull was actually eating part of her leg at her ankle. “I didn’t realize how bad the extent of it was until I got out of the car. As I ran forward towards her and the two dogs, I realized there was blood all over the place, all over her. At that time, that’s when I saw her arm ... you could see those two bones in the arm.” Consiglio first tried to kick at the brown pit bull and get him away from the woman. That only made the dogs turn their attention to him. “I took a step back as the brown one came at me and he got ahold of my pants at the bottom and started to pull on them,” Consiglio said. “When he did that, I pulled my weapon, put two shots in him, and he died right there.” The white pit bull, hearing the shots, also turned to attack Consiglio. The deputy fired once, and then a second time, but the dog failed to drop. Instead, it ran across the street and into an old metal locker behind a house that was later determined to be its owner’s. The dog later died. Consiglio was recently awarded a medal of valor by the Richmond County Sheriff’s Department for saving Heggs’ life. The owner of the two pit bulls was subsequently sentenced to 60 days in jail for violating the city’s leash law and failing to vaccinate the dogs for rabies. Those who have closely followed Heggs’ case, including Consiglio, say her medical bills for reconstructive surgery have neared the $100,000 mark. And Consiglio said the grisly incident is just waiting to happen again. Whether they are being used in illegal dog-fighting, or as guard dogs protecting drug dealers’ stashes, it’s apparent that pit bulls carry an underground premium in Augusta. Investigators have been looking into a rash of pit bull thefts that have lately made the news, including one that took place at gunpoint, the thief firing a gunshot in the air as he drove away with the dog in his car. Animal control officers and vice investigators have found the tangible proof that dogs are being trained to fight locally or in remote areas like Hephzibah and Burke County, but have simply failed to catch a fight in progress. “We get calls occasionally, but everything we’ve gotten so far has just been real general and nothing specific,” said Sgt. Greg Smith of the Richmond County sheriff’s vice division. “Such as, I got a call one time where they were supposed to be dog-fighting in the Brown Road area. Well Brown Road’s

BY BRIAN NEILL

“As a victim of a dog attack myself, I take that (dog attacks) very seriously. Except for me, it was a German shepherd, so when I see everybody making so much noise about pit bulls, I say, ‘Wait a minute. It’s not a breed thing.’” — Veronique Chesser, head of Pit Bull Rescue Central.

YOU’RE WHAT’S FOR DINNER

out in Hephzibah, out in the country. You know, that encompasses a lot. Brown Road is probably four or five miles long. “I’d love to have something specific.” Several suspects in organized dogfighting rings have also been arrested throughout the state in recent months, the latest being a Millen man who was operating a large-scale fighting operation on his property. There, investigators reportedly found a blood-stained, plywood pit in which the dogs fought, as well as treadmills that were used to build the dogs’ stamina. A total of 41 pit bulls were also found on the property. Consiglio said his patrol area, which encompasses the location where Heggs was attacked, is rife with drug-traffickers who often use the pit bulls to protect their wares. “There are pit bulls all over that area,” Consiglio said. “Most households in that area have at least one or two pit bulls. Trying to check residences in that area, you know if an alarm goes off, we’re always on the lookout to see if they’ve got pit bulls or that kind of animal in there. “A lot of them are bred defiant, and that’s what makes them so vicious in that area. They’re bred to protect their product, as they like to call it.” Just recently, Consiglio responded to a call at a home in the area. As he made his way around the side of the house, he noticed a roughly 60-pound, brown pit bull, anxious to make his acquaintance. Consiglio thought about drawing his weapon, but decided to bank on the dog’s chain running out before it got to him. He was lucky. “You never know where they’re at,” Consiglio said. “Some people, like I say, have two or three of them. And not to say everybody who has them has them for illicit purposes. “But I would say, my personal opinion, the majority of them do.” Lovers or Fighters? It’s so common as to be cliche. Most Web sites maintained by breeders of pit bulls include at least one photograph of the dogs devotedly and lovingly cuddled with a napping child. It’s as if to say, “I can be cute and cuddly, too.” But convincing those like Heggs and other victims of vicious pit bull attacks would likely be a hard sell. Breeders and lovers of pit bulls, nonetheless, stand behind the dogs, blaming poor handling and ill-intentioned owners for their bad rap. However, attempts to get any local breeders to come forward and tell their side for this story proved fruitless. One local breeder, who advertises his Hammerhead Kennels of Augusta on the Internet, spoke with high regard for pit bulls, saying he trusts them around his children. The breeder, who asked not to be identified by name, said he would mull over an interview request with his family. He never called back. Another local breeder, contacted through an IWANTA ad, said he merely raised his dogs as pets, not for fighting. He initially agreed to meet in Harlem, where he said he keeps his dogs, but later canceled the meeting. E-mails to other breeders outside the continued on page 16

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continued from page 15 area were also not returned. As the Hammerhead Kennels owner remarked, usually when pit bulls appear in the newspaper, it’s bad news. The pit bull goes by several names, including the American Staffordshire Terrier and the American Pit Bull Terrier. Bloodline purists will argue for days about the differences of each, but when taken with their general characteristics — the wide jaw and blunt snout, the extreme muscle definition and their tenacious athleticism — they all become pit bulls. Most experts agree that the pit bull can trace its roots to the original English bulldog, which was employed in the vicious, late-18th-century sport of bullbaiting, whereby a tethered bull was allowed to be attacked by the dogs until it died. Today, some hunters use the dogs to take down wild boar. Although the breed’s popularity dwindled from the period following World War I up until the 1980s, true devotees kept the pit bull alive. One of the most notable and visible pit bulls was “Pete,” the dog that palled around with Spanky, Alfalfa and the crew on the “Lil Rascals.” In the 1980s, the dogs began to make a comeback in breed popularity. Rather than owing its resurgence strictly to people embracing a favorite from the past, however, the pit bull began to be coveted for its aggressive qualities and as a highdemand commodity for illegal fights and tough street image. There are aspects of the pit bull breed that are nothing less than amazing. The dogs are capable of physical feats other breeds would typically never even attempt. For instance, some pit bulls are capable of climbing trees, swimming underwater and hanging tirelessly by their teeth from rope suspended from a tree branch. They can gnaw through a 2 x 4 in no time flat and are capable of easily clearing a 4-foot-tall, chain-link fence. “They’re amazing athletes,” notes Richmond County Animal Control Director Bonnie Bragdon, who sees a number of the dogs enter her shelter each year bearing scars and abscesses from battling other dogs. With pit bulls’ stamina and physical agility also comes an instinct to fight — to clamp down on an opponent and not let go. The jury’s still out as to whether this instinct is innate or has to be bred into the dogs. Bragdon, for one, takes no chances. Her animal control shelter on Mack Lane has an unwritten policy that pit bulls that aren’t promptly claimed are put down. “And there are two reasons,” Bragdon said. “One, we don’t know the history of the dog; we don’t know what kind of temperament it has. And two, is because we have very suspicious people come in the shelter and say, ‘I’m looking for a pit bull.’” An Underground Following Odell Johnson, a Richmond County animal control officer who investigates animal cruelty cases, has seen the tell-tale signs of illegal pit bull activity: Yards with a dozen or more of the animals secured by heavy chains to trees; thick pieces of rope hanging from tree

“As I ran forward towards her and the two dogs, I realized there was blood all over the place, all over her. At that time, that’s when I saw her arm ... you could see those two bones in the arm.” — Richmond County Deputy Nino Consiglio, who saved a woman from being killed by two pit bulls.

branches; discarded pit bull carcasses — the fate of a losing or weak dog. Though he has yet to witness a dog fight taking place, Johnson said that doesn’t mean the activity isn’t happening. “We have not had one (case) where we’ve visually seen one going on,” Johnson said. “But what we can say is, there are a lot of pit pulls being raised in the county and they’re being taken to Burke County, Jefferson County and down in the swamps to fight them. “This is a felony we’re talking about. So they’re not going to do it (fight) in the yard next to George.” Dog-fighting is illegal in all 50 states and is a felony in 46, including Georgia. That, animal control officials say, is why there seems to be a large concentration of pit bulls in remote parts of the county such as Hephzibah, where stocks of fighting dogs are kept relatively free from prying eyes. Most of the time, the dogs will be chained by makeshift dog houses situated in a circular fashion surrounding an owner’s property. Animal control officials say that, without a licensing ordinance in

effect in the county, it’s hard to confront owners as to the number of dogs in their possession and whether or not the animals are being kept as pets. Code words like “game” or “dead-game” are often used in newspaper ads for pit bulls to indicate their willingness to fight. In the case of a dead-game dog, it will fight to the death. Pit bull advocates argue that hunters also use the game and dead-game designations, but one Internet site that detailed Cajun Rules, the bible of underground dog-fighting, described the two designations and even provided physical tests to see if dogs could be labeled as such. “Dogmen,” as breeders of fighting pit bulls are called, will go to great lengths to beef up their dogs, making them walk on treadmills, hang from ropes and pull around weights. Many such breeders tout the bloodlines of the animals, some even going so far as to offer up DNA profiles as proof of their dogs’ tenacity and fighting capability. While most breeders, particularly those who advertise on the Internet, hold forth disclaimers that their dogs are not for

fighting, many law enforcement experts scoff at such renouncements. Indeed, with so many negative stories involving pit bulls, it seems hard for advocates to get a sympathetic ear. Still, there are organizations that stand behind pit bulls, despite the litany of attacks by them on humans reported in the news. One of those groups is the American Dog Breeders Association (ADBA), which was formed in 1909 as a registry specifically for the American Pit Bull Terrier. The registry changed hands over the years, but in 1973, members petitioned the ADBA to develop a standard for breed classification similar to the American Kennel Club, that would allow American Pit Bull Terriers to be entered into competitions. Although a representative of the ADBA was not immediately available for comment, the group’s literature states as its aim, “to enlighten the public to the truth about the (American Pit Bull Terrier), and promote the positive aspects of the breed, through the conformation shows and the weight pulling matches,” a reference to a non-violent sport the organization helped launch that involves pit bulls pulling carts or sleds loaded with heavy weights. The ADBA also publishes the American Pit Bull Terrier Gazette, a quarterly magazine devoted to the breed. There are also a number of organizations around the country devoted to saving and adopting abused pit bulls from their typical fate of being euthanized in animal shelters. Despite efforts by these groups, however, pit bulls continue to be portrayed in anything but a positive light. In inner cities around the nation, the sight of young toughs leading their burly pits around city streets has become all too common. Rappers like Snoop Dogg and DMX have

used images of vicious pit bulls to sell their CDs, as well as their gangster images. The Humane Society of the United States lashed out at DMX for his 2000 video for the song “What’s My Name?” which featured two pit bulls engaged in a staged dog fight inside a ring. An article that ran in Spring of 1999 in the New York magazine, City Journal, detailed the problems that a proliferation of pit bulls had caused in inner cities, where women and children had grown accustomed to scrambling indoors whenever thugs paraded through town streets with their menacing pit bulls, often intimidating passers-by just for kicks. The interviewer spoke to one animal control director who reported a number of pit bulls entering the shelter with their vocal cords removed, a bizarre alteration that provided an element of surprise for anyone trying to sneak into a crack house. Most of the dogs entering the shelter, vocal or not, had to be destroyed because they were so aggressive, the director said. The Banning Question Some cities and countries have taken the cue from stories of pit bull maulings and illegal fighting and banned the animals entirely. For instance, pit bulls are banned in England, as well as in cities in at least 13 U.S. states. While advocates for the dogs, and even the Humane Society, have condemned breed-specific ban ordinances and legislation, calling them everything from unconstitutional to an animal form of racial profiling, there has been evidence to suggest pit bulls do pose a danger to communities. In September of 2000, a study released in the Journal of American Veterinary Medicine examined the breeds of dogs involved in fatal human attacks between the years of 1979 and 1998.

Cpl. Willie Barnes, an officer with Richmond County Animal Control, displays a “bite stick,” a collapsible metal baton. Oftentimes this thin piece of metal is the only thing that separates animal control officers from vicious dogs such as pit bulls.

The study, which surveyed 17 states, including Georgia, revealed that pit bulltype dogs were the leading attackers, causing 66 human deaths over the 19-year period. Rottweilers accounted for the secondhighest number of human fatalities with 39, followed by German shepherds, with 17. Pit bull-type dogs and Rottweilers, combined, accounted for 67 percent of all dog attacks resulting in human fatalities, the study found. Even the authors of the study, however, argued against breed-specific legislation, citing the inherent subjectivity in such courses of action. The authors noted that the only objective way of determining whether a particular dog was a pit bull was either through a pedigree specialist or DNA testing, both time-consuming and costly routes. They also suggested in their report that bans on pit bulls would only cause people wanting dangerous dogs to simply turn to other breeds for the same qualities. Veronique Chesser agrees. For about five years, Chesser has run Pit Bull Rescue Central, a nationwide collective based on the Internet that seeks to provide adoption opportunities for pit bulls. Chesser was attacked by a dog when she was a kid, but it wasn’t a pit bull. “As a victim of a dog attack myself, I take that (dog attacks) very seriously,” Chesser said. “Except for me, it was a German shepherd, so when I see everybody making so much noise about pit bulls, I say, ‘Wait a minute. It’s not a breed thing.’” Chesser said this is merely the time of the pit bull in terms of its having a notorious reputation, adding that it was the German shepherd that had that stigma when she was a child. She also pointed to the new bad dog on the block, the Presa Canario, as a further example of dog breeds’ constantly changing status in terms of their perceived threat to humans. Two Presa Canarios mauled to death 38year-old Dianne Whipple outside her apartment in Pacific Heights, Calif., last year. The case brought much notoriety to the otherwise obscure breed. “Right now that’s the breed du jour,” Chesser said. “But you know, in 10 years it will be the Cane Corso (Italian Mastiff), or whatever. If legislators go after the breed like that, then people will always create a new breed to replace the breed it cannot own anymore.” Instead, Chesser suggests, more activists and local governments should focus their efforts on educating and monitoring the owners of dogs. The same day she was interviewed for this article, Chesser said, she received a letter from a teen-age boy seeking advice on how to make his pit bull more aggressive. She said she was stunned by the ignorance of the request. “And if we continue to only blame the dogs, and ban the dogs and punish the dogs, we’re not going to resolve the problem,” Chesser said. “Those 14-yearolds are going to continue to breed monsters. “What I usually say is, that when it comes to pit bulls, the real monster is usually the two-legged animal at the other end of the leash. I think that’s what’s going on.”

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By Brian Neill

t’s somewhat refreshing that gubernatorial candidate Linda Schrenko shows up for an interview unaccompanied by her campaign handlers and dressed in a pair of jeans. There’s no nervous guy sitting there glancing at his watch every five minutes and trying to telepathically supply answers for her, as political handlers often do. And there seems to be nothing in the way of evasiveness or coached answers; everything is out and on the table. This down-to-earth approach appears to represent the type of governor Schrenko says she wants to be: One for the people. The Columbia County native and Republican said she’s tired of pork spending and the continued consolidation of power under the office of current Georgia Governor Roy Barnes. “With Roy Barnes as governor, he has taken all the authority away from the agency heads and centered everything in the governor’s office,” Schrenko said. “It gives him complete, absolute power and I think that’s wrong and it’s bad. “I think that leads to corruption ... If you strengthen the Georgia governor’s position any more, you get into the realm of a dictatorship, and that’s what Roy is doing and it bothers me.” But Schrenko, 53, concedes that she faces some formidable hurdles along her way to doing something about it. Republican notables like Georgia GOP Chairman Ralph Reed and Congressman Charlie Norwood have snubbed her, instead throwing their support behind former state Sen. Sonny Perdue for the Aug. 20 primary. “And that’s new, because?” Schrenko quips. “They never have supported me, the Republican establishment, other than in 1994 when (former Georgia Republican Party Chairman) Billy Lovett personally asked me to run for this (State School Superintendent) office ... The leadership is always looking for money, and looking for power, and I don’t think I represent either of those things very well.” Still, it’s hard for Schrenko to shrug off Norwood’s disavowal with such noncha-

lance. That one, she said, stung a bit. “I have to admit, Charlie Norwood really shocked me with this one,” Schrenko said. “As hard as I’ve worked for Charlie and as supportive as I’ve been with Charlie, I would have thought he would have at least taken a neutral stance instead of going out and dredging up another candidate to run against me, to cause me to spend my money.” As if the non-endorsement by her party’s leaders weren’t enough, Schrenko must also confront history, which constantly reminds her that it’s been 130 years since a Republican (Benjamin F. Conley) sat in the Georgia governor’s chair, and even longer — well, never, to be exact — since a woman held the post. Her seemingly dismal odds, however, have done nothing to get her down. “What I’ve tried to do is make light of it (the issue of being a woman), in a way,” Schrenko said. “I go through what I want to do, and why I’m running ... and then at the end of every speech I stop and say, ‘Look, I’m not asking you to do anything that women haven’t been asked to do for hundreds and thousands of years. I’m asking you to send a woman to clean the House. And if you send me to clean the House, I’ll clean the Senate for free.’ “And then they can laugh about it and once they get to the point that they can laugh about it and see that their fears are really

unfounded, then I get over that hump.” Schrenko is also counting on her name recognition from the two terms she’s served as the state’s top educator, to help her succeed in the race. That, she figures, will help offset the fact she only has roughly $400,000 in her campaign war chest, compared with Barnes’ $9 million. Schrenko said recent Republican surveys have put her approval rating at 41 percent, compared with 18 percent for Perdue and 10 percent for her third challenger in the primaries, Cobb County Chairman Bill Byrne. It remains to be seen, however, what impact the recent endorsement of Perdue by The Atlanta Journal-Constitution will have on voters. Having already embarked on her own ad campaign, which will heavily target the Augusta and Savannah areas, Schrenko said Barnes’ pile of money doesn’t worry her so much, given the way he’s spending it. Schrenko’s campaign determined that Barnes spent roughly $4 million during the month of June for political ads, despite his having no Democratic challenger in the primaries. Ironically, during the course of his running the ads, Barnes’ approval rating has dropped from the 50-percent mark down to the mid-30s, Schrenko said. “So every time he advertises he seems to be going down,” Schrenko said. “And I

“If you strengthen the Georgia governor’s position any more, you get into the realm of a dictatorship, and that’s what (Georgia Governor) Roy (Barnes) is doing and it bothers me.” | Linda Schrenko |

said, ‘Gosh, spend that (money) that way and I’m sure to win.’ “So, if he uses it wisely, it’ll be a real challenge to me. If he’s dumb enough to keep spending it the way he is, Hallelujah.” Schrenko has already vowed to fight big government, noting that Barnes has coopted a number of departments under his roof since taking office. She said that was one reason she decided not to step down from her state school superintendent role during the legislative session. Statewide-elected officials are prohibited from accepting campaign contributions while the General Assembly is in session. Schrenko said vacating the office would have boosted her campaign coffer, but also would have given Barnes a shoo-in for the position, since gubernatorial appointments are often successful in their bids to retain their seats through sheer name recognition. If elected in the primary, Schrenko said she would not accept her salary during the months leading up to the November general election. Schrenko has also vowed to represent certain issues facing today’s women, not the least being apparent discrimination by certain health care plans. “I think there are some things where women have been short-changed and the first thing that comes to mind has been health care,” Schrenko said. “I’m on the state health care insurance plan and last year when I was told to go for a mammogram, I got a note back from my insurance company saying, ‘We don’t pay for routine health procedures such as mammograms, or pap smears or any of the preventative things.’ And yet, I look down there and they’re paying for Viagra. “Now, that’s disheartening, to think that a mammogram is not covered but Viagra is. And I don’t blame the men at all for this; I think Viagra should be covered. But I think the mammogram should be, too.” Another issue Schrenko knows she’ll have to deal with if elected is the flag. Surveys her campaign has conducted indicate that roughly 50 percent of Georgians are willing to let the abrupt changing of the state flag by Barnes fall by

the wayside in order to move on with more pressing issues. But Schrenko said she realizes the other 50 percent out there will make themselves heard, should Barnes be unseated. “Those people are going to have their say and their day in the sun,” Schrenko said. “Yet, they understand that demanding the old flag back is not going to get it. People don’t want to see them demand a flag any more than they wanted to see Roy Barnes demand a flag. They want to vote on it.” Schrenko said if legislators brought the proposal to her to put the flag issue to a vote, she’d agree to do so. “It’s not the governor’s flag and I’ve made that very clear to people,” Schrenko said. “That was Roy’s mistake, trying to make it Roy’s flag. The flag belongs to the people, so I’m not going to go out and commission a new design. If the people want a new design, they’ll have to say so on the ballot.” Based on her own observations, Schrenko said she thinks those angry over the new flag don’t necessarily want to go back to a design bearing the Confederate emblem. “I think the majority of Georgians are going to choose to go back to the pre-’56 flag that didn’t have the Confederate emblem,” Schrenko said. “I think they just want not to have a brand new flag that doesn’t represent anything. I think they want to go to a flag that was significant in Georgia’s history.” Schrenko’s campaign has experienced numerous bumps along the way. Around qualifying time, her husband, Frank, was diagnosed with cancer, which has since been treated and is now in remission. Not long after, Schrenko had to cancel a speaking engagement when she fell off a ladder while painting the inside of her home. She suffered a concussion and bruised ribs, and her doctor told her to take it easy for a couple of days. But the rumor mill had already made her condition more dire. Various media at the prior speaking engagement caught wind of Schrenko’s fall and her subsequent cancellation. “And the next thing I know, I’m driving down the road, healthy as a horse, and GNN (Georgia News Network) is reporting that I’ve had an accident and I’m in serious condition,” Schrenko recalled. “And I’m thinking, ‘I’m out on Columbia Road. What is this, ESP?’ “It was turned into so much more than it was, which of course caused Bill Shipp (author of online political newsletter, ‘Bill Shipp’s Georgia’) to go into, ‘Will she qualify or not, with her husband’s health bad and her health poor?’ And I thought, ‘There’s nothing wrong with me.’” During the time of her husband’s illness, he wasn’t working, which created a financial burden for the couple. What seemed to be honesty on Schrenko’s part, listing a credit card with a $50,000 balance on a routine state financial form, once again earned her criticism. Detractors asked how she could be expected to balance the state’s budget when her own credit card balance had been run up so high. Her reply: “The same way I do with the $7 billion I budget that I run every year. I already have a $7 billion budget that I control. We always come in with a surplus. We have never finished the year in the red. In fact, we usually give the general fund back $10

million to $15 million a year out of our agency, alone.” Schrenko also was hit with allegations she used her office to campaign, particularly when she held town hall meetings around the state in her much-publicized battle against Barnes’ education reform legislation, which passed last year. Schrenko has disputed those claims and maintained that the town hall meetings were strictly for the intended purpose of stopping what she considered to be flawed legislation. In another disappointing turn, the Georgia Association of Educators, a teacher advocacy group whose alliance Schrenko had gained through the education reform bill fight, chose not to endorse her. It should be noted that the group also did not endorse Barnes or any of Schrenko’s contenders in the primary, either. News reports cited teachers’ frustration with the political posturing and maneuvering surrounding the education reform bill and other education issues as one of the reasons the GAE abstained from endorsing anyone. The GAE’s lack of endorsement hasn’t upset Schrenko like it seems it should. She remarks with optimism that the group will likely see its way around to endorsing her for the general election. Schrenko has also repeatedly remarked that she’s counting on the votes of at least 85 percent of the state’s nearly 100,000 teachers. Overall, Schrenko said she wants to free the state from the tentacles extending from the governor’s office into nearly every aspect of government, including her own agency. Some may remember that Barnes fired one of the first volleys in the education reform bill

“I go through what I want to do, and why I’m running ... and then at the end of every speech I stop and say, ‘Look, I’m not asking you to do anything that women haven’t been asked to do for hundreds and thousands of years. I’m asking you to send a woman to clean the House. And if you send me to clean the House, I’ll clean the Senate for free.’ “ | Linda Schrenko | fight by hiring away one of Schrenko’s deputy superintendents to head up his Office of Education Accountability. Indeed, there has been no love lost between Schrenko and Barnes, even before they stood the chance to face one another at the polls. With such animosity in mind, Schrenko had to think for a second when asked what she’d say to Barnes if the two of them suddenly became trapped in an elevator together. Schrenko first reminisced about the relationship she had with former Governor Zell Miller — how despite their partisan differences he’d share insights into his personality with her.

Such as the time Miller told her that the reason he never ate at social functions at which he was a guest was because he coaxed the organizers into taking him by the Varsity hot dog stand first. “But with Roy, he sort of sits back and says, ‘Let me tell you how it’s going to be,’ “ Schrenko said. “And so, I think it would be that way in the elevator: ‘Here’s what you’re going to do. I’m going to push you up through that hole and you climb up the cables and get help.’ “Then I wouldn’t trust him to pick me up and put me through the hole, either, so we’d have to argue about that.”

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M E T R O S P I R I T A U G 8 2 0 0 2

Arts

& Entertainment

Season Tickets Come With Extra Perks

eason tickets. Do those words roll off of you every time you hear them, even though you may actually be a fan of the arts? “Oh, they’re selling season tickets again. Season tickets are for the rich and famous. Season tickets are ...” ... for you if you like the arts but want to save a few bucks. Or if you want to enjoy the other amenities that come with them. What Season Tickets Do for You Executive Director for the Augusta Players, Debi Ballas, outlined what her group offers their season ticket holders. “I think our discounts are between 15 and 30 percent, depending on our package. That’s another thing. We offer different packages, so there’s flexibility in what type of package they may want to purchase as well.” Patrons can buy all four productions and the Glass Slipper Ball fundraiser, or just the four productions or three of the productions, she said. It all depends on their pocket books and their schedules. A Mainstage subscriber will spend $117, where a Center Stage subscriber will spend $89. Mainstage Encore subscribers spend $159 and Center Stage Encore subscribers spend $134. There are discounts for seniors, students and children.

If you went to see all five productions at regular price, you would pay $183. The Players even strive to make their season ticket holders feel special. After the first night of the season – Sept. 27 this year – there is an Afterglow Reception, during which they get to mingle with the cast. (It’s not a black tie and gown affair, she said, so don’t let that scare you away.) Even if money and special events are not a consideration, where you sit might just be. “They get preferred seating,” Ballas said of the Players subscribers. “They get to select their seats for the entire season upon purchase of their tickets, and the flexibility of selecting whichever performances they want.” What Season Tickets Do for the Arts Of course, the groups gain something by offering these packages. Money up front is the most obvious benefit. Executive Director of the Greater Augusta Arts Council Brenda Durant elaborated on the importance that arts groups place on such sales. “A season ticket holder is not just a person who buys a ticket to an event, but a supporter,” Durant said. “By purchasing season tickets, you are allowing the arts organization to plan for the year. It has a great impact on the bottom line.”

BY RHONDA JONES

These also allow the organization to pay for productions they want to feature, she said. Ballas had some additional words on the subject. “Subscribers also help us to gauge whether we’re presenting the types of programming they want to see.” Though she cautioned against comparing an arts organization to a business, she said that the subscribers were, in essence, The Players’ “regulars.” Asked if The Players consider those subscribers first and foremost when planning, Ballas said, “Absolutely.” So in a way, buying a package is like casting a vote. Ballas said that The Players have not yet had to change their plans due to lack of sales. “We seem to be picking the types of programs that our season ticket holders want. In the last three years it’s tripled.” She has an idea why that could be: The Players started performing musicals. People like musicals. More walk-up ticket-buyers began to come, and good seats became scarce. As a result, even those who don’t buy season packages do buy advance tickets. Ballas said, though, that the majority of their audience members do not buy tickets in advance. There’s something amusing about

that, she said. “The funny part about it is, actually the majority of our (walk-up) people came to almost every show. So if they had bought season tickets they would have come out better.” The Augusta Players keep records, she said. They know who you are. Of course, if you’re going to buy season tickets, you have to have money up front, and will be locked into your choices the entire season. And, you may feel obligated to go – which can be good or bad, depending on how you look at it. Whether or not you are interested in season tickets, now is a good time to contact your favorite groups for ticket information – before the season begins. Abbeville Opera House - (864) 459-2157 Augusta Choral Society - (706) 826-4713 Aiken Community Playhouse (803) 648-1438 Augusta Ballet - (706) 261-0555 Augusta Opera - (706) 826-4710 Augusta Players - (706) 826-4707 Augusta Symphony - (706) 826-4705 Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre - (706) 793-8552 Harry Jacobs Chamber Music Society (706) 736-9098

Photos courtesy of Augusta Players

Matt Stovall (left) played Jacob Marley and Richard Justice (right) played Ebenezer Scrooge in The Augusta Players’ 2001 production of Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol.” The classic Christmas story is set to run again November 2002.

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22 M E T R O S P I R I T

Arts: Music

Columbia County Arts Keeps Busy With Summer Concert

By Lisa Jordan

A U G 8 2 0 0 2

his Sunday, Aug. 11, the Augusta Jazz Project will be part of an experiment at Savannah Rapids Pavilion. No, it has nothing to do with test tubes and lab coats. It’s the first and last concert in Columbia County Arts’ Summer Concert Series. “We decided that we would try to host a summer arts program,” says Bev Smith, board member and chair of Columbia County Arts’ Program Committee. “We started out small this year by hosting a small summer concert.” Enter Rudy Volkmann and the Augusta Jazz Project. “The marriage was great,” says Smith of the partnership between Columbia County Arts and the Augusta Jazz Project. “It benefits us both.” And because both groups strive to enrich the communities they call home, their goals are also aligned. “We emphasize community involvement,” Smith says, noting that Columbia County Arts has sponsored things like Destination 2020; the Red, White and Blue Celebration; Columbia County’s Back-to-School Festival; and the annual Christmas Tree Lighting in Columbia County. Likewise, the Augusta Jazz Project supports local artists and venues and offers educational assemblies and performances for area schools. One of the venues both arts groups

are promoting through the Aug. 11 concert is Savannah Rapids Pavilion, a venue that Smith says “is really under-used.” And of the upcoming performance, Smith says, “It’s an outdoor concert,

probably was unnoticed,” Smith says. “I think as a growing community, we have so much to offer, and we just want to make people aware of it.” Some of what Columbia County has to offer in the arts department are the

“It’s the start of an idea, and next year, we really hope to expand the Summer Series Program.” - Bev Smith, Program Chair for Columbia County Arts

casual, meant to bring well-known local talent to Columbia County.” So be sure to bring lawn chairs and blankets to sit on. “We were founded in March of 2000 as an umbrella group to focus on arts in Columbia County and to highlight the talent that we felt was here but

Columbia County Choral Society, the Oliver Hardy Museum in Harlem and Stage III, a drama group. This is just a sample of the groups that Columbia County has sponsored through grants and other types of support. Another project Columbia County Arts is working on – and it’s a big one

– is helping finance the construction of a community arts center. “There is a community arts center that is going to be part of the Columbia County Library,” Smith says, adding that some of the specifics they’re looking at are ways to help install quality sound and lighting devices. “We’re going to be a big user and supporter.” But until the arts center is finished, Columbia County Arts has plenty to keep it busy. And of course, they have to make plans for next year’s Summer Concert Series, using this Sunday’s Augusta Jazz Project performance as a measuring stick. “It’s the start of an idea,” Smith says, “and next year, we really hope to expand the Summer Series Program.” So for a fairly young organization, Columbia County Arts has a lot on its plate. “It’s been exciting, kind of being at the ground level,” Smith says. Get out there Sunday and show some support for the arts in Columbia County. For just $10 at the gate (or $7 if you’re a student or senior and free if you’re under 6 years of age), you get “An Evening of Jazz” to take over your senses. The show starts at 7:30 p.m. For more information about the performance, you can contact Smith herself at 228-1666 or Jack Kearns at 738-3605. Also, be sure to check out www.columbiacountyarts.org to see what the group is planning; also visit www.augustajazz.com.

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Cinema

“XXX”

M E T R O S P I R I T

A U G

Austin Powers in Goldmember (PG-13) —

No golden member, just a tin fig leaf. Mike Myers still has his crack timing and suppor ting cast (Seth Green a standout, plus Michael Caine agog with fun as Powers' dad), but the silly plot is nothing, and too many gags are just stupid frat-boy stuf f with a lacing of gay schtick. Beyonce Knowles brings a zip of sassy freshness as Fox xy Cleopatra, yet the movie is both smug and lazy, and the gaudy, pushy "style" steamrolls the humor into flatness. With numerous celebrity cameos, none very funny (the least: Steven Spielberg). 1 hr. 33 min. (Elliot t) ★1/2 Bad Company (PG-13) — It stars schtick y Chris Rock and stolid Anthony Hopkins, who seem barely in the same movie. Rock plays a straightarrow CIA agent named Kevin, whose cover is running an antiques store in Prague. Kevin gets killed on dut y and replaced in a rush by identical t win brother Jake, a jokey speed-chess hustler in New York who never knew he had a t win "separated at bir th." His recruiter is Hopkins as the CIA's Gaylord Oakes. It's another car toon show without animation. This is where James Bond has finally gone for burial. Cast: Anthony Hopkins, Chris Rock, Kerr y Washington, Peter Stormare. Running time: 1 hr. 45 mins. (Elliot t) ★ Blood Work (R) — Clint East wood is retired FBI director Terr y McCaleb, who is on the mend af ter a hear t transplant. The sister of the murdered woman whose hear t now beats in McCaleb’s chest hires him to investigate the death. Could the serial killer McCaleb is looking for be a former FBI agent McCaleb himself had trained? Cast: Clint East wood, Jef f Daniels, Anjelica Huston. The Bourne Identity (PG-13) — Bourne (Mat t Damon) was sent to kill a risk y African leader on a yacht, had an at tack of qualms, then plunged overboard with holes in his back. He was saved by fishermen, the captain an amateur doctor who pulls the rounds out of Bourne, and ex tracts an implant that has the number of a Swiss bank account. In an

identit y fog, though now with money and passpor ts, and reflexively gif ted with all his trained skills — his sour CIA boss, Conklin (Chris Cooper), decides to snuf f Bourne as "a malfunctioning $30 million piece of equipment" — Bourne zips to Paris af ter empt ying the deposit box in Zurich. "The Bourne Identit y" has the identit y of potent enter tainment. Cast: Mat t Damon, Franka Potente, Chris Cooper, Clive Owen, Brian Cox, Julia Stiles. Running time: 2 hrs. (Elliot t) ★★★1/2 Changing Lanes (R) — A propulsive ner vebiter with genuine human characters, about a yuppie law firm hawk (Ben Af fleck) who upsets the precarious life of a volatile working stif f (Samuel L. Jackson), their mutual moral crisis moving on lines that converge jarringly, despite some plot conveniences. New York is seen smar tly by ace English director Roger ("Persuasion") Michell, with Toni Collet te also outstanding as a lucid mistress. 1 hr., 47 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★1/2 The Country Bears (G) — This benign, liveaction film follows bear cub Bear y Bearington (voiced by Haley Joel Osment) as he reunites his musical idols, The Countr y Bears. Af ter lit tle Bear y convinces the bit ter rock icons that they still need each other, the woolly second-grader makes peace with his own adopted human family. The 10-andunder crowd will love these blinking, harmonizing, restaurant-dining bears. Music-star cameos (Elton John, Willie Nelson, Queen Latifah) make the film slightly easier to digest for the tolerant parent. Running Time: 85 mins. (Diamond) ★★ Halloween: Resurrection (R) — Jamie Lee Cur tis makes an appearance once again in the eighth film in the "Halloween" series. This time, six teens decide to host a live Internet chat in the house where Michael Myers grew up, stirring up evil. Cast: Jamie Lee Cur tis, Tyra Banks, Brad Loree. Hey Arnold! The Movie (PG) — This popular animated Nickelodeon character takes to the big screen with his neighborhood pals. Arnold and his

friends have maintained a close-knit group while living in their big-city neighborhood, but when a greedy developer threatens to turn the neighborhood into a giant "mall-plex," it’s up to the kids to stop him before it’s too late. Cast: Craig Bar tlet t, Spencer Klein, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Jamil Walker Smith. Ice Age (PG) — Most of "Ice Age" is about a lippy sloth named Sid, voiced by John Leguizamo. (Is there a less sloth-like actor alive?) Fleeing the advancing polar ice cap, he tries fiercely to bond with a hairy mammoth, Manfred (Ray Romano) and even a sabertoothed tiger, Diego (Denis Leary). Sure enough, Sid, Manfred and Diego rescue a human baby from marauding saber-toothed tigers. That's the story: the three travelers, each way ahead of the evolutionary curve with their jokes, and the papoose-like human with big eyes, and the pursuing big cats, who expect

Diego to betray his new companions. There is a clima x, so safely predictable you won't find your temperature budging. "Ice Age" will probably get enough kids smiling to earn its big cost back, and then some. Cast: Ray Romano, John Leguizamo, Denis Leary, Goran Visnjic, Jack Black, Tara Strong. Running time: 1 hr., 24 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Insomnia (R) — From Christopher Nolan ("Memento"). LAPD detective Will Dormer (Al Pacino) and his par tner (Mar tin Donovan) travel to Alaska to assist an old pal with a murder case. There's a lurching, Nolanesque vector shif t, and suddenly it's a dif ferent movie, infused with Dormer's exhaustion in the 24-hour sunlight. A t wisted, vaguely repulsive hack writer/murder suspect (Robin Williams) feeds of f Dormer's growing

“Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams”

Courtesy of Warner Bros.

“Blood Work”

RATINGS

★★★★ — Excellent.

★★★— Worthy.

Photo: Rico Torres

2 0 0 2

Courtesy of Columbia Pictures

Movie Listings

★★ — Mixed.

★ — Poor.

0— Not worthy.

“The Master of Disguise”

“Austin Powers in Goldmember”

M E T R O S P I R I T A U G 8 2 0 0 2

weakness. With Hilar y Swank, sor t of — her character is sorely underwrit ten. Adapted from a 1998 Norwegian film of the same title. Running time: 1 hr, 55 mins. (Salm) ★★★ Juwanna Mann (PG-13) — Miguel A. Nunez Jr. is Jamal. The vain, preening NBA star is suspended for a burst of irate mooning and then fullfrontal exposure on cour t. And then — inspired by a young girl whose love of the game moves him — he becomes Juwanna, a fake female, who fires up a women's pro team. Vivica A. Fox is the team's reigning beaut y, on whom Jamal has a cover t crush. The cour t action is all high points, no game. Gender comedy becomes a ruthless reduction of both sexes. Director Jesse Vaughan came from music videos and should probably return. Hectic, vapid, almost witless, "Juwanna Mann" keeps jammin' across the goofs, then milking inane sentiment before stumbling to a blooper reel that is no dif ferent than the preceding inept movie. Cast: Miguel A. Nunez Jr., Kevin Pollak, Vivica A. Fox, Ginuwine, Tommy Davidson. Running time: 1 hr., 26 mins. (Elliot t) ★ K-19: The Widowmaker (PG-13) — is about the vir tually suicidal mission and hapless plight of a Soviet sub of that name, during a tense time (1961) of the Cold War, based on actual facts. Though said to be the pride of Soviet Russia's new nuclear fleet, K-19 goes to sea inadequately prepared, on a politically motivated mission. It must voyage under polar ice to fire a demo missile, showing the cock y new man in the White House (JFK) how virile Moscow can be. The crew's beloved skipper, Capt. Polenin (Liam Neeson), is demoted to executive of ficer under Capt. Vostrikov (Harrison Ford), a fierce patriot. "K-19" puts a clammy whammy on us when a pressure leak in one of the reactors brings on nuclear horror. This is one of the most machocentric and masochistic movies ever made by a woman; Kathr yn Bigelow directed. Cast: Harrison Ford, Liam Neeson, Joss Ackland, Peter Sarsgaard. Running time: 2 hrs., 10 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Like Mike (PG) — The rapper Lil Bow Wow plays 14-year-old Calvin Cambridge, one of the older residents in an L.A. orphanage. Calvin has t wo wishes – to find parents who love him and to play in the NBA like his idol, Michael Jordan. Then one day, Calvin's only adult ally, Sister Theresa (Anne

Meara), discovers an old pair of sneakers that once belonged to Michael Jordan. Calvin tries them on, and they are a per fect fit. The nex t day, Calvin's dreams begin to materialize. He meets one of his idols, basketball superstar Tracey Reynolds (Morris Chestnut), during a half time contest at a Los Angeles Knights game. Calvin makes a wish to be "like Mike" and suddenly displays moves reminiscent of Jordan. He is quickly signed by the Knights, and both he and new teammate Tracey go on a journey of self-discover y. Cast: Lil Bow Wow, Morris Chestnut, Jonathan Lipnicki, Brenda Song, Crispin Glover, Anne Meara and Eugene Levy. Running time: 1 hr., 30 mins. (McCormick) ★★★ Lilo & Stitch (PG) — A cute Disney 'toon made in Florida but set in Hawaii, where darling Lilo turns a space crit ter into a pet. The animation is not computerized and has lovely watercolor ef fects, though the plot, voicework, Elvis tunes and product plugs are generically New Disney, not of Walt caliber. 1 hr., 20 min. (Elliot t) ★★1/2

Martin Lawrence Live: Runteldat (R) —

“Mar tin Lawrence Live: Runteldat” is a documentar y-st yle version of Lawrence’s bad-boy comedy, complete with commentar y by the man himself and liberally mixed with pounding hip-hop beats. The stand-up comedy por tion, where Lawrence is a solitar y presence onstage, illuminated by a spotlight, contains personal anecdotes and social commentar y. Cast: Mar tin Lawrence. The Master of Disguise (PG) — Dana Car vey plays Pistachio Disguisey, which all by itself gives you the comedic essence. He's a perk y waiter in an Italian restaurant in New York. Pistachio is heir to a family talent for magical transformation, possessors of "energico," who can morph into almost any thing. Pistachio's parents are abducted by a rich villain, envious of energico, played with almost obscene lack of comic appeal by Brent Spiner. Car vey is cute, but he doesn't seem to have a shaped and role-shaping personalit y. He seems locked into skit rhy thm. Cast: Dana Car vey, Brent Spiner, Jennifer Esposito, James Brolin, Harold Gould, Edie McClurg. Running time: 1 hr., 33 mins. (Elliot t) ★ Men in Black 2 (PG-13) — Will Smith (ver y post-"Ali") and Tommy Lee Jones (looking aged and bored) return as the alien-busting men in black, in a

movie stuf fed with crit ters and special ef fects, like a vast expansion of a Mad magazine parody. Rosario Dawson is a decal of innocence, Lara Flynn Boyle a creepy space witch, the pug dog gets more lines, the fun is rather oppressive even at 82 minutes. Cast: Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Rosario Dawson, Lara Flynn Boyle. Running time: 1 hr., 22 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Minority Report (PG-13) — "Minorit y Repor t" is a sci-fi thriller set in one of those futures (2054) most of us hope never to endure. At the front edge is John Ander ton (Tom Cruise), head of Pre-Crime. He works in a tech hive called the Temple, where three clair voyants float in a tank like nearly comatose dolphins, feeding their vision of impending murders to a big computer screen. Ander ton assembles the clues, then leads the police team to arrest the presumptively guilt y. Once Ander ton is himself accused of being a future killer, he abducts one of the "pre-cog" floaters (Samantha Mor ton). "Minorit y Repor t" has a kind of ugly beaut y and, in its central storm of murk and rush, the suction of a compelling nightmare. Cast: Tom Cruise, Samantha Mor ton, Lois Smith, Peter Stormare, Ma x Von Sydow, Tim Blake Nelson. Running time: 2 hrs., 15 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Monsters, Inc. (G) — Pixar 'tooner Pete Docter, now directing, has t wisted a clever stor y pretzel with his writers. They have fine-'tooned monstrous, but cuddly variants of the gross blob, Cyclops, Medusa, furr y freaks and a Mr. Vile. They work in a huge factor y under boss J.J. Waternoose. The best "scarers" collect screams as necessar y fuel for their high-tech world of comfy ick and cozy schtick. This is done via por tals, magic doors that allow fast entr y to sleeping kids' bedrooms. James "Sully" Sullivan is a huge shag pillow of a monster. His pal is one-eyed lit tle Mike Wazowski, a sor t of pea-pod Polish joke with borscht belt vibes. The buddies get stuck with a human, a toddler named Boo, who thinks they're just wonder ful. Her innocence, that of a cupcake Columbus, changes the world of monsterdom. Cast: John Goodman, Billy Cr ystal, James Coburn, Mar y Gibbs, Steve Buscemi, Bob Peterson, Jennifer Tilly. Running time: 1 hr., 24 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★1/2 Road to Perdition (R) — Tom Hanks plays Michael Sullivan, an Irish-American hoodlum and family man in grim 1931, in the Quad Cities on the

Illinois-Iowa border. He's an enforcer and ar t ful killer, almost an adoptive son of bootleg mob boss John Rooney (Paul Newman), a patriarch stricken by inner rot. Sullivan feels rot ted, too, but is an iron sur vivor. The movie has a solemn, dirgelike (but not dull) conviction of fated purpose. Tragedy must come, violently. It would be criminal here to spell out the exact cost to Sullivan, which spins him free of the Rooney gang, along with his now aware and endangered son Mike Jr. (Tyler Hoechlin). On the long roads, and humble towns, they enact an almost archaic Greek vengeance upon the Rooneys. There is father-son bonding (and humor), yet we never forget that ever y thing is at stake. This stor y is so mor tal. Cast: Paul Newman, Tom Hanks, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Ciaran Hinds, Liam Aiken, Stanley Tucci, Jude Law. Running time: 2 hrs. (Elliot t) ★★★★ Signs (PG-13) — Mel Gibson plays Father Graham Hess, an Episcopal priest who lost his faith and retired his collar af ter his wife was killed in an auto accident. He lives in an old farmhouse with t wo adorable kids, plus a younger brother (Joaquin Phoenix). Big, elegantly precise "crop signs" turn up in their cornfield. It's space aliens, and the movie teases us as the signs pile up. The aliens show up, shoving clawed hands under doors but scared by steak knives, full of evil strength, yet not able to knock down the pathetic blockade of a fruit cellar. "Signs," though handsomely shot, seems meant for viewers who need to believe in tabloid aliens, and that we can beat them with plain-spun, homeland vir tues. It should be called "Sins" for compounding the sins of bad filming. Cast: Mel Gibson, Joaquin Phoenix, Ror y Culkin, M. Night Shyamalan, Cherr y Jones. Running time: 1 hr. 46 min. (Elliot t) ★ Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron (G) — A sweetly bland DreamWorks car toon film about a bold horse that runs across much of the Old West, his thoughts spoken by Mat t Damon, his adventures doused in Br yan Adams tunes that are like a floral tribute to Rod Stewar t. The horse action is swif t, and borrowed John Ford bits can mean nothing to modern kids. 1 hr., 25 mins. (Elliot t) ★★1/2

Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams (PG) — In the sequel and final movie in the "Spy

Kids" series, the children of international spies must once again save their parents from evil forces. This time, they band together with another pair of spy sib-

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26 “K-19: The Widowmaker”

“Stuart Little 2”

M E T R O S P I R I T A U G 8 2 0 0 2

lings, whose parents have also been kidnapped. Cast: Antonio Banderas, Carla Gugino, Steve Buscemi, Daryl Sabara, Alexa Vega, Mike Judge, Bill Pa x ton.

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (PG) — This is No. 5 in the series and is

visually spectacular (entirely filmed in digital, and projected that way in some theaters). It moves swif tly and has action payof fs, but George Lucas is still a turgid stor y teller, and stif f dialogue drags the actors down to mere plot function too of ten. Ewan McGregor seems to be coming into his own as wise Obi-Wan. 2 hr., 23 mins. (Elliot t) ★★1/2 Stuart Little 2 (PG) — is a sequel capsule, as smooth and shiny as a jellybean. It brings back the Manhat tan mouse (Michael J. Fox), a computerized dearie loved by the Lit tle family as equal to their son, George (Jonathan Lipnicki), and his baby sister. The slow-star ting stor y is Stuar t's adventure to rescue new pal, birdie Margalo (Melanie Grif fith), a flut ter-ball of gold feathers, from the raptor Falcon

(James Woods). 1 hr. 18 mins. (Elliot t) ★★1/2 Undercover Brother (PG-13) — The source was a Web comedy site, and it's a derivation of old bla xploiters, "In Living Color " and the Austin Powers goofs, but this lampoon of black heroics is funny in a pumped-up way. Eddie Grif fin wears the power Afro as the main bro, and Malcolm D. Lee also got good stuf f from Chris Kat tan, Denise Richards, Dave Chappelle, Aunjanue Ellis and Billy Dee Williams as a Colin Powell-like general who wants to be the new Col. Sanders. 1 hr., 26 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★ Unfaithful (R) — Richard Gere is Ed, businessman, loyal husband, devoted father, living in a plush suburb of New York City. Wife Connie (Diane Lane) seems equally pampered and happy, but there is something nervy and urban about her and, on a visit to SoHo, a wind storm blows her right into Paul, bookseller and stud, French, with facial stubble worthy to be a put ting green. Paul is the other man,

played by Olivier Mar tinez. It's some af fair, with Lane exposing much skin but also emotions that imply the af fair is a necessary, obsessive risk. The movie has a rather complacent dependence on rote situations. The vivid sex can't disguise the petrified fossils of countless studio melodramas about love triangles and sof t-rot marriages. Cast: Richard Gere, Diane Lane, Olivier Mar tinez, Erik Per Sullivan, Kate Bur ton. Running time: 1 hr., 47 min. (Elliot t) ★★ Windtalkers (R) — The core of it is about the Navajo "code talkers," some 400 men who confounded the Japanese by speaking radio code in Navajo. Of course, in a racist era, they had to face white bigotr y as well as the enemy. Adam Beach, a strong presence with a boyish grin, plays Ben Yahzee, code volunteer. Nicolas Cage is Joe Enders, patched-up war dog assigned to protect Ben and, if he faces capture, kill him — also the secret order to Ox (Christian Slater), whose code man is Charlie (Roger Willie). The rest of the Marines unit sent to

murderous Saipan in 1944 is much like the old studio ethnic squads of 1944 Hollywood. "Windtalkers" depicts braver y, sacrifice, honor and horror. But the moments of uplif t are like confet ti in a morgue. Cast: Nicolas Cage, Mark Ruf falo, Adam Beach, Peter Stormare, Noah Emmerich, Christian Slater, Frances O'Connor, Roger Willie. Running time: 2 hrs., 8 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ XXX (PG-13) — Described as "James Bond meets Limp Bizkit" by Hollywood insiders, an ex treme spor ts star, the tat tooed and outrageous Xander Cage, a.k.a. X X X, is commissioned by the government to infiltrate a Russian-based crime ring. Features scads of special ef fects, as well as some acting appearances by rock bands. Cast: Vin Diesel, Samuel L. Jackson, Asia Agento, Eve, Orbital, Rammstein. —Capsules compiled from movie reviews writ ten by David Elliot t, film critic for The San Diego Union-Tribune and other staf f writers.

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Cinema: Review

Garish “XXX” Is Just Laughable

ositioned as a crude, unstylized 007 for an upcoming generation of ADD kids weaned on Playstation and MTV, Vin Diesel’s guileless super-spy will hopefully send audiences away laughing. The alternative, that “XXX” strikes moviegoers as the beginning of a 21st century James Bond series instead of an unintentional Austin Powers one, will not only confirm director Rob Cohen’s offensive assumption that young people really do have the attention span of a gnat; it will also ensure the dismal reality of multiple sequels and endless copycat productions. Hot off the success of his flashy and speedy car extravaganza, “The Fast and the Furious,” Cohen sets out to infuse “XXX” with far less plot than his last feature and a lot more stunts and explosions. Right from the start, it’s clear that “XXX” has not been constructed as a traditional film so much as an excuse to shoot a series of elaborate stunts. Initially I was impressed with Cohen’s seemingly brazen abandonment of narrative form, thinking that he might be attempting to make the first big budget action film with no plot structure. But after the second on-screen explosion (which happens roughly 10 minutes into the film), it was clear that the lack of a formal story was not the product of a daring cinematic experiment but, rather, an unnecessary element in a film that is about nothing more than excess. From the opening scene, in which a tuxedoed stranger meets his untimely death after slipping into a pulsing Eastern European nightclub, where a mass of pierced fans headbang to a heavy metal band, “XXX” makes it crudely apparent that tradition and formality are the enemy. A spy who couldn’t make the grade, the real reason for this assassination is as much a product of what the victim was wearing than what he was doing. Things like tuxedos and martinis have no place in Cohen’s world and, like a man preaching to the choir, the director trashes these old standards for the express delight of his audience. In their place Cohen delivers an onslaught of loud music, extreme sports nods, bad stunts

By Rachel Deahl

and a meat-headed hero who makes Arnold Schwarzenegger sound like a cultured guy. The tenuous story behind “XXX” revolves around the titular daredevil-cum-international spy, Xander Cage (Vin Diesel), so nicknamed for the triumvirate of letters tattooed across his neck. A celebrated underground figure in the world of extreme sports, Xander’s made a name for himself by videotaping insane stunts he performs and then selling the product on the black market. A thrill-seeker addicted to adrenalin like a junky hooked on heroin, Xander is selected by the National Security Agency to go undercover and infiltrate a group of Russian anarchists who’ve set up camp in Prague. Why does the government need a man like Xander? Because he’s the perfect secret weapon: he’s expendable, insane and hip. As such, Xander is exactly the kind of guy who can earn the respect of the young thugs running Anarchy 99. In Prague, Xander infiltrates the group with ease, immediately earning the trust of their leader, Yorgi (Marton Csokas). Throw in Yorgi’s hot girlfriend Yelena (Asia Argento), a slew of expensive cars, a collection of tricky spy gear and a clunky-looking nuclear warhead and Diesel’s international man of little mystery has plenty of toys to keep him busy. Devoid of the panache and bravura that made “The Fast and the Furious” fun, “XXX” falls flat in its first frame. Instead of seeing Vin Diesel’s stunt double clear the better part of Columbia on a dirt bike and escape an avalanche on a snowboard (both of which really do happen in the film), audiences would be much better served by renting an extreme sports video at Blockbuster. Attempting to wow viewers by topping each stunt with a more elaborate follow-up, Cohen’s special effects inspire more laughter than awe. And when your hero starts saying things like, “Stop thinking Prague police and start thinking Playstation,” you know things can’t get much worse. If this is truly the stuff that blockbusters are made of, we have many dark movie summers on the horizon. ★

Thank you Elements and Surrey Center for a fantastic year!

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28 M E T R O S P I R I T A U G 8 2 0 0 2

Movie Clock REGAL AUGUSTA EXCHANGE 20 Movies Good 8/9 - 8/15 XXX (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:45, 1:15, 1:50, 3:50, 4:20, 4:45, 7:00, 7:15, 7:30, 7:50, 9:35, 10:05, 10:20, 10:40, 12:15; Sun-Thur: 12:45, 1:15, 1:50, 3:50, 4:20, 4:45, 7:00, 7:15, 7:30, 7:50, 9:35, 10:05, 10:20, 10:40 Blood Work (R) 12:15, 2:55, 5:25, 8:05, 10:45 Spy Kids 2 (PG) Fri-Sat: 12:05, 1:20, 2:25, 3:45, 4:45, 6:10, 7:10, 9:30, 12:00; SunThur: 12:05, 1:20, 2:25, 3:45, 4:45, 6:10, 7:10, 9:30 Signs (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:00, 1:00, 2:30, 4:40, 5:05, 7:00, 7:15, 7:45, 9:30, 9:45, 10:15, 12:10, 12:30; Sun-Tues: 12:00, 1:00, 2:30, 4:40, 5:05, 7:00, 7:15, 7:45, 9:30, 9:45, 10:15 Master of Disguise (PG) Fri-Sat: 12:05, 2:10, 4:15, 7:40, 10:00, 12:05; Sun-Tues: 12:05, 2:10, 4:15, 7:40, 10:00 Martin Lawrence (R) 12:10, 3:00, 5:40, 8:10, 10:45 Austin Powers in Goldmember (PG-13) FriSat: 12:00, 12:25, 2:40, 3:05, 5:05, 5:35, 7:30, 8:00, 9:50, 10:25, 12:05, 12:40; SunTues: 12:00, 12:25, 2:40, 3:05, 5:05, 5:35, 7:30, 8:00, 9:50, 10:25 Country Bears (G) 12:20, 2:30, 4:40 Stuart Little 2 (PG) Fri-Sat: 12:40, 2:45, 5:10, 7:10, 9:15, 11:30; Sun-Thur: 12:40, 2:45, 5:10, 7:10, 9:15 K-19: The Widowmaker (PG-13) 12:40, 7:20 Road to Perdition (R) Fri-Sat: 12:45, 4:00, 6:55, 9:40, 12:25; Sun-Thur: 12:45, 4:00, 6:55, 9:40 Halloween: Resurrection (R) 8:30, 10:35 Men in Black 2 (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:50, 3:40, 6:40, 9:00, 11:20; Sun-Tues: 12:50, 3:40, 6:40, 9:00 Like Mike (PG) 12:30, 2:50, 5:20, 7:55, 10:15 Lilo & Stitch (PG) 12:15, 2:20, 4:30 Minority Report (PG-13) 12:20, 3:35, 6:50, 10:10 The Bourne Identity (PG-13) 4:35, 10:30 EVANS 12 CINEMAS Movies Good 8/9 - 8/15 XXX (PG-13) Fri: 2:30, 4:15, 5:30, 7:15, 8:30, 9:45; Sat-Sun: 1:15, 2:30, 4:15, 5:30, 7:15, 8:30, 9:45; Mon-Thur: 2:30, 4:15, 5:30, 7:15, 8:30, 9:45 Blood Work (R) 2:15, 4:35, 7:25, 9:55 Spy Kids 2 (PG) Fri: 3:05, 5:05, 7:05, 9:05; Sat-Sun: 1:05, 3:05, 5:05, 7:05, 9:05; MonThur: 3:05, 5:05, 7:05, 9:05 Signs (PG-13) Fri: 4:00, 4:45, 7:00, 7:45, 9:25, 10:00; Sat-Sun: 1:00, 1:45, 4:00, 4:45,

7:00, 7:45, 9:25, 10:00; Mon-Thur: 4:00, 4:45, 7:00, 7:45, 9:25, 10:00 Master of Disguise (PG) Fri: 3:30, 5:30, 7:30, 9:30; Sat-Sun: 1:30, 3:30, 5:30, 7:30, 9:30; Mon-Thur: 3:30, 5:30, 7:30, 9:30 Austin Powers in Goldmember (PG-13) Fri: 3:40, 5:40, 7:40, 9:40; Sat-Sun: 1:40, 3:40, 5:40, 7:40, 9:40; Mon-Thur: 3:40, 5:40, 7:40, 9:40 Country Bears (G) Fri: 3:10, 5:10, 7:10, 9:10; Sat-Sun: 1:10, 3:10, 5:10, 7:10, 9:10; Mon-Thur: 3:10, 5:10, 7:10, 9:10 Stuart Little 2 (PG) Fri: 3:20, 5:20; Sat-Sun: 1:20, 3:20, 5:20; Mon-Thur: 3:20, 5:20 K-19: The Widowmaker (PG-13) Fri: 4:05, 6:55, 9:40; Sat-Sun: 1:05, 4:05, 6:55, 9:40; Mon-Thur: 4:05, 6:55, 9:40 Road to Perdition (R) 2:00, 4:20, 7:20, 9:50 Men in Black 2 (PG-13) 7:35, 9:35 MASTERS 7 CINEMAS Movies Good 8/9 - 8/15 XXX (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 1:00, 4:15, 7:00, 9:30; Mon-Thur: 2:00, 4:15, 7:00, 9:30 Blood Work (R) Fri-Sun: 1:30, 4:00, 7:30, 9:45; Mon-Thur: 2:15, 4:30, 7:30, 9:45 Spy Kids 2 (PG) Fri-Sun: 1:15, 3:15, 5:15, 7:15, 9:15; Mon-Thur: 3:15, 5:15, 7:15, 9:15 Signs (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 1:45, 4:20, 7:20, 9:35; Mon-Thur: 2:30, 4:45, 7:20, 9:35 Master of Disguise (PG) Fri-Sun: 1:10, 3:10, 5:10; Mon-Thur: 3:10, 5:10 Austin Powers in Goldmember (PG-13) FriSun: 1:25, 3:25, 5:25, 7:25, 9:25; Mon-Thur: 3:25, 5:25 Country Bears (G) Fri-Sun: 1:05, 3:05, 5:05; Mon-Thur: 3:05, 5:05 Stuart Little 2 (PG) 7:10, 9:10 Like Mike (PG) 7:05, 9:05 REGAL 12 CINEMAS Movies Good 8/9 - 8/15 Hey Arnold (PG) 2:25, 4:50, 7:20, 9:45 Insomnia (R) 1:55, 4:30, 7:10, 9:40 Monsters, Inc. (G) 2:15, 4:35, 7:25, 9:50 Unfaithful (R) 2:00, 4:35, 7:05, 9:35 Windtalkers (R) 1:50, 4:30, 7:00, 9:30 Spirit (G) 2:20, 4:45, 7:45, 9:55 Juwanna Mann (PG-13) 2:35, 4:55, 7:00, 9:30 Bad Company (PG-13) 2:00, 4:40, 7:15, 9:50 Star Wars: Episode II (PG) 2:30, 5:15, 8:00 Undercover Brother (PG-13) 2:40, 5:15, 7:40, 10:05 Ice Age (PG) 2:10, 5:00, 7:35, 9:55 Changing Lanes (R) 2:05, 5:05, 7:30, 10:00

Movie listings are subject to change without notice.

Looking to Buy or Sell an Automobile? SEE PAGE 42

Cinema: Review

“The Master of Disguise” Is One Long, Boring Skit By David Elliot

ana Carvey’s “The Master of Disguise” is not based on the CIA memoir “The Master of Disguise,” by top clandestine agent Antonio J. Mendez. What is it based on? A tough call. It is hard to base almost something on what must have been nearly nothing. Carvey is a TV skit man — even his biggest film hit, “Wayne’s World” (plus sequel) with Mike Myers, was based on a “Saturday Night Live” skit — and in “Master of Disguise” he has one of the skimpiest, silliest skit movies ever made. He plays Pistachio Disguisey, which all by itself gives you the comedic essence. He’s a perky waiter in an Italian restaurant in New York, his voice like a high-pitched blend of Topo Gigio from the old Ed Sullivan show plus Roberto Benigni. He makes you doubt that comedy is beautiful. Pistachio is heir to a family talent for magical transformation, possessors of “energico” who can morph into almost anything, with huge help from a Universal Studios makeup team. The movie seems almost entirely shot on the famous lot at Universal — experienced viewers will recognize fake buildings they’ve seen hundreds of time — and it is primed to jump, cutely, over to the nearby theme park as a new attraction: Energico World? Pistachio’s mom and dad are played by Edie McClurg and James Brolin, who looks less like his Gable of 1976 (“Gable and Lombard”) than Burt Reynolds of the mid-’80s. Brolin uses a wrecking ball of an Italian accent, but he is petty pasta next to the grand-

father, wizard of energico, played by Harold Gould with sweeping hair and a rodeo barker blare that makes you wonder if he is disguising the Godfather as Buffalo Bill. The parents are abducted by a rich villain, envious of energico, played with almost obscene lack of comic appeal by Brent Spiner. Carvey zips around all the bigger actors, including Jennifer Esposito. He’s a wispy mouse, doing voices and faces, some spry (a swell Brit twit), others — a walking load of turf with a big cow pie — defying analysis. There is a guest gig by Bo Derek, and one by Gov. Jesse Ventura. Paula Abdul appears to appear as herself. Or maybe it’s Mariah Carey doing Britney Spears, or Carvey doing all three, or even Meryl Streep doing Nancy Sinatra as a pizza waitress. Carvey is cute, but he doesn’t seem to have a shaped and role-shaping personality. Like the more successful and inventive Myers in his Austin Powers movies, he seems locked into skit rhythm. Both hurl goofy ideas on screen as if a movie were just gags pounded into some sort of shapeless blob of desperate entertainment. A Columbia Pictures release. Director: Perry Andelin Blake. Writers: Dana Carvey, Harris Goldberg. Cinematographer: Peter Lyons Collister. Composer: Marc Ellis. Cast: Dana Carvey, Brent Spiner, Jennifer Esposito, James Brolin, Harold Gould, Edie McClurg. Running time: 1 hr., 33 mins. PG. 1 1/2 stars. Visit Copley News Service at www.copleynews.com.

Days A Week

M E T R O S P I R I T A U G 8 2 0 0 2

Don’t forget the Sweet Adelines. They will be at Lakeside High School at 533 Blue Ridge Drive in Evans, on Aug. 10 at 7 p.m. Call 364-9931 or 279-6499 for info.

Arts

ence required. $100 course fee includes all materials, instruction and a t-shir t. Call Joseph Gillespie at 4954420 for information.

DIANA GURLEY’S PHOTOGRAPHS of Italian coastal towns will be on display at the Juice Bar on Broad Street this month. Call Randy at the Juice Bar, 826-1678.

Auditions

USC-AIKEN MUSIC CONSERVATORY PROGR AM now open. Students of all ages and experience levels welcome. Private lessons available for musical instruments and voice; instructors are USC-Aiken faculty and have at least a master’s degree in their per formance area. (803) 641-3288.

“DE-MYTHING THE GODDESS” EXHIBIT through Sept. 29 at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum of Black History includes paintings, writings and photography relevant to historical and current perceptions of women’s self-image. Works by Rhian Swain-Giboney. Admission to the museum is $3 adults, $1 students. Call 651-8712 for information.

SWEET ADELINES PEACH STATE CHORUS OPEN REHEARSAL for singers each Thursday at 7 p.m. Held at 600 Mar tintown Road in Nor th Augusta. Contact Mildred Blain at 736-7740 or Mary Norman at 279-6499. AUDITIONS FOR “CAMELOT,” A MUSICAL for Aiken Kidney Benefit, will be held in Room 115 at USCAiken’s Etherredge Center Aug. 11, 4-7 p.m.; Aug. 12, 7-10 p.m.; and Aug. 15, 7-10 p.m. Par ts for 30 adults and five children. Gymnastic ability a plus; be prepared to sing, dance and read. Accompanist provided. Per formances Nov. 8-10 at the Etherredge Center. Call David Culp at (803) 648-5253.

Education

“WE WHO DRUM” WORKSHOP presents an introductory course on traditional hand drum construction with an emphasis on beginning hand technique and rhy thmic song ensemble. Clinic noon on Aug. 17 at the Wingate Inn of f Belair Road. Open to people with various musical backgrounds ages 14 and up. No experi-

Exhibitions

DWAYNE BROWN EXHIBIT at the Metro Cof feehouse through the end of August. Call 722-6468 for info. JAY JACOBS AND JESSE NEWKIRK exhibit in August at the Soul Bar. Jacobs successful July exhibit continues with new pieces, and Newkirk joins him with original work this month. Call the Soul Bar at 724-8880 for more information. AUGUST ART EXHIBITS AT AREA LIBR ARIES: Linda Baack’s watercolors will be on display at the Gibbs Library; steel sculpture by George Graham will be up at the Euchee Creek Branch Library. Call the Gibbs Library at 863-1946 or the Euchee Creek Branch at 556-0594 for more information.

SAVAGE GALLERY EXHIBIT showcases the pot tery of David Stuar t and sculpture by John B. Savage. For more information, call the gallery at 736-3336. ARNOLD GALLERY in Aiken features new work by Mary Alice Lockhar t and Al Beyer. Call (803) 502-1100. ART ON BROAD features pot tery by local ar tists Jerry Pruit t and Carol Craig. Also features oil paintings by Russ Bonin and Raku pot tery by Peter Alsen. Call 722-1028. AT THE MARY PAULINE GALLERY through Sept. 21: Arless Day exhibits “Collages & Unique Variations.” Call 724-9542 or visit www.marypaulinegallery.com for details.

“OVER THE LINE: THE ART AND LIFE OF JACOB LAWRENCE” exhibit through Sept. 8 at the High Museum of Ar t in Atlanta. For more information, call (404) 733-HIGH or visit www.high.org on the Web. TOM KLOSE exhibits his work at Borders Books and Music through the end of August. Upcoming exhibits include: Carl Purdy in September, Alex McCain in October and Rober t Lee in November. Call Borders Books and Music at 737-6962.

Dance SINGLES DANCE each Saturday night from 8-11 p.m. sponsored by the Christian Social Organization for Single Adults. Held at Westside High School. Tickets at the door; free dance lessons at 7 p.m. For more information, call 278-6422.

Music WAYNE WATSON CONCERT Aug. 25 at Cur tis Baptist Church. Doors open at 5 p.m.; concer t begins at 6 p.m. Concer t is free, but a love of fering will be taken. Call 722-7348 for more information. “AN EVENING OF JAZZ” FEATURING THE AUGUSTA JAZZ PROJECT Aug. 11, 7:30 p.m. at the Savannah

DON'T

M E T R O

let our front window fool you...

Stop in for a close look at our smaller works.

S P I R I T A U G 8 2 0 0 2

In addition to having the world’s largest collection of frames - The Frame Shoppe features a spectacular gallery of art! Stop by and see works by local, national, Ed Durant - Owner and international artists!

THE

FRAME SHOPPE We offer expert assistance with all your framing and art needs, corporate or personal.

1542 Walton Way

706.738.5529

Augusta, Georgia 30904

fax: 706.774.1176

The Savage Gallery is currently showcasing the pottery of David Stuart and sculpture by John B. Savage. This highly detailed eagle was in progress when the photo was taken. One of Savage’s passions is building tabletop sculpture of golfers in action. To visit him and his work, call the gallery at 736-3336. Pavilion. Sponsored by Columbia County Ar ts. Tickets available at the door for $10 general admission or $7 students and seniors; kids under 6 admit ted free of charge. For information, call Bev Smith, 228-1666, or Jack Kearns, 738-3605.

RIVERBANKS ZOO AND GARDEN EXTENDED HOURS: Admission gates open at 9 a.m. and close at 5 p.m. Weekday admission is 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Regular admission is $7.75 adults, $5.25 for children ages 312. Call (803) 779-8717 or visit www.riverbanks.org.

TICKETS NOW ON SALE for Paine College’s “Jazz 2002: The Thir teenth Annual Evening of Jazz” Sept. 1, 5-10 p.m. Available at the Paine College Business Of fice, Hamilton Bookstore, Nan’s Collections and Pyramid Music and Video. Tickets are $15 in advance, $18 the day of the event. Proceeds benefit the Paine College/UNCF Campaign. 821-8217.

THE BOYHOOD HOME OF WOODROW WILSON: Circa 1859 Presby terian manse occupied by the family of President Woodrow Wilson as a child during the Civil War and Reconstruction. Original and period antiques, restored house, kitchen and carriage house. 419 Telfair Street. Open 10 a.m. 5 p.m., Tues.-Sat. Tours available; groups of 10 or more by appointment only. Admission is $5 adults, $4 seniors, $3 students under 18 and free for ages five and under. 724-0436.

“SOUNDS OF SUMMER” CONCERT per formed by the Peach State Chorus of Sweet Adelines: Aug. 10 at 7 p.m., the group per forms at Lakeside High School in Evans. Call 364-9931 or 279-6499 for information. MUSIC EXPLOSION at Riverwalk’s Eighth Street Bulkhead Aug. 11, 18 and 25 from 8 to 9:30 p.m. Picnic, dance and enjoy the sounds of local musicians Quiet Storm. $5 admission. Call 821-1754 for details. COLUMBIA COUNTY CHOR AL SOCIETY OPEN HOUSE Aug. 13, 7:30 p.m. at First Baptist Church of Evans. Open to inquiring singers and friends. For information, call 364-5920. HOPELANDS SUMMER CONCERT SERIES continues Aug. 12 with Bobby Tuba’s New Orleans Dixieland Band. Begins 7 p.m. at Hopeland Gardens in Aiken. For rain information and for those who need special assistance or accommodations, call 642-7631.

MONDAY-FRIDAY

HAPPY HOUR 4:00-7:00 pm

$1.00 OFF ALL BEER & MIXED DRINKS

THURSDAY & SUNDAY NIGHTS

LIVE MUSIC WEDNESDAY NIGHT

TRIVIA Starts at 8:00 pm

Theater

“GODSPELL” Aug. 9-10, 8 p.m. and Aug. 11, 3 p.m. at St. Mary on the Hill Parish Hall. $5 general admission ticket. Phone 733-6627 for more info. “STEEL MAGNOLIAS” will be presented by Stage III. Dinner theater per formances Aug. 22-24, with a 3 p.m. matinee Aug. 25. $25 dinner theater ticket; $15 matinee. Held at the Augusta Jewish Community Center in Evans. 228-3636. “HEAVEN CAN WAIT” Aug. 9-10, 16-17, 23-24 and 30-31, 8 p.m., with matinees Aug. 10, 17 and 24. Presented at the Abbeville Opera House in Abbeville, S.C. Tickets are $15 adults, $14 for seniors and children under 12. Call (864) 459-2157.

Attractions AT PHINIZY SWAMP NATURE PARK: Meteor Shower Walk Aug. 12, 9-11 p.m.; Family Dinner Aug. 15, 6-7:30 p.m.; Volunteer Fest Aug. 22, 7-8 p.m. For information on registering for these programs, call 828-2109.

2800 WASHINGTON ROAD 736-8888

“AUGUSTA’S 2 FOR $9” TICKETS of fer a special deal for admission to two of Riverwalk’s at tractions: Augusta Golf and Gardens and For t Discovery. Of fer valid through Sept. 30. Available at ticket of fices of either at traction. Call Augusta Golf and Gardens at 724-4443 or For t Discovery at 821-0200.

AUGUSTA GOLF & GARDENS OF THE GEORGIA GOLF HALL OF FAME features beautiful display gardens, as well as bronze sculptures of some of golf’s greatest masters. Available for rent for a variety of functions. Group discount rates available. Closed Mondays; open from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Tues.-Sat.; open from 1 to 5 p.m. on Sunday. Admission is $5.50 for adults; $4.50 for students, seniors and military; $3.50 for children (4 to 12); free for children 3 and under. Sundays are two for one with a Super Sunday coupon. Annual garden memberships are available. Call 724-4443 or 1888-874-4443. Also, visit their Web site at www.gghf.org. FORT DISCOVERY/NATIONAL SCIENCE CENTER: Children and adults alike can immerse themselves in the wonders of science through live demonstrations, vir tual realities, Starlab, KidScape and more than 270 hands-on exhibits. General Admission: $8 for adults; $6 for children, seniors and active military. Group rates available. Half-price admission daily af ter 3 p.m. Operating hours: Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sunday, noon-5 p.m. Call 821-0200, 1-800-325-5445 or visit their Web site at www.NationalScienceCenter.org. REDCLIFFE STATE HISTORIC SITE: 1859 mansion of S.C. Governor James Henry Hammond, held by the family for three generations until 1975. Hours are 9 a.m.-6 p.m., Thursday-Monday on the grounds. House tours are noon-3 p.m. by appointment. Closed Tuesday and Wednesday. Admission to the grounds is free. Fee for house tours is $3 for adults and children ages 6 to 17. For more information, call (803) 8271473. 181 Redclif fe Road, Beech Island. SACRED HEART CULTUR AL CENTER is of fering tours of its 100-year-old building. Mon.-Fri., 9 a.m.-5 p.m. $1 per person, children free. 826-4700. HISTORIC COTTON EXCHANGE WELCOME CENTER: Open Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m.; Sun. 1-5 p.m. Riverwalk. Free. 724-4067. THE EZEKIEL HARRIS HOUSE: Deemed “the finest 18th century house surviving in Georgia” by the “Smithsonian Guide to Historic America.” Open Saturday, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. General admission is $2; senior admission is $1 and children get in for 50 cents. For more information, call 724-0436.

Museums THE MUSEUM OF LAUREL AND HARDY OF HARLEM, GEORGIA features displays of various Laurel and

LUNCH AT NOON LECTURE SERIES held the second Wednesday of every month at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum of Black History, 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Call the museum at 724-3576 for more information. EVENTS AT THE AUGUSTA MUSEUM OF HISTORY: “Keepers of the Faith: A History of Organized Religion in Augusta” exhibit runs through Nov. 10. August’s film is “Heritage of the Black West” and will be playing, free with admission, continuously in the History Theatre. Family History Series on Aug. 24, “A Living History: Civil War 5th Georgia Volunteer Infantry Regiment,” held from noon to 4 p.m. and admission is free. Call 722-8454 or visit www.augustamuseum.org.

Special Events “THE 5TH CHAKR A: A VERBAL EXPRESSION PROJECT” poetry reading Aug. 9 at the Rebel Lion Den, 910 Broad Street. Sign up at 7:30 p.m.; show begins at 8:30. $2 admission. Call 495-5265 for info. BOOK SIGNING: Charles Seabrook, author of “Cumberland Island: Strong Women, Wild Horses,” will be at Books-A-Million Aug. 15, 6-8 p.m. 481-9090. RUDY GOLDMAN MEMORIAL OPTIMIST PLAYGROUND DEDICATION August 12, 7 p.m. at Eisenhower Park. Following the dedication ceremony, there will be a hot dog cookout. For more information, call Keith Duncan at 736-5081. 2002 CAT FANCIERS’ ASSOCIATION CAT SHOW, sponsored by the Masters Cat Club, held Aug. 24, 10 a.m.-6 p.m. at Riverview Park in Nor th Augusta. Open to the public. Tickets available at the gate; $5 for adults, $4 for children and seniors. For information, call Sharon Butler at 860-6820. CELTIC REVIVAL MUSIC AND DANCE FESTIVAL Aug. 17 from 7-10 p.m. at the Savannah Rapids Pavilion. Features music by Eric Duncan, Kelly Stewar t and ‘Smath Sinn Dragon; Celtic pipes and dancing; Celtic jewelry and music vendors. Tickets are $15 adult, $12 seniors and students. Contact Shari Parris at 863-2251. MODEL OF THE YEAR COMPETITION and fundraiser for various non-profit scholarship programs Aug. 24, 4 p.m. at For t Gordon’s Gordon Club. Model registration through Aug. 20 for teens 13-19 and adults. No experience necessary. For more info, call 724-3220. COLUMBIA COUNTY HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. and every Sunday from 1 to 4 p.m. at PetsMar t. For more info, call 860-5020. RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL AND AUGUSTA ANIMAL RESCUE FRIENDS holds pet adoptions at Superpetz of f Bobby Jones Expressway every Sunday from 1 to 4 p.m. Call AARF at 364-4747 or visit www.aar f.net. Adoptions also held at the Richmond County Animal Control Shelter, Tues. through Sun., 1-5 p.m. Call the shelter at 790-6836. LOW-COST R ABIES VACCINATIONS: AugustaRichmond Count y Animal Control holds low-cost rabies vaccination clinics the four th Sunday of ever y month for privately owned pets. $8 per animal. 1 p.m. at Superpet z. Dogs must be on a leash and cats in a carrier. Puppies and kit tens must be three months old and current for all vaccinations. Schedule subject to change, so please call 790-6836 to verify dates and times. THE CSR A HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. and every Wednesday evening from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. at the Pet Center located behind the GreenJackets Stadium on Milledge Rd. 261-PETS.

“BRING IN ‘DA NOISE, BRING IN ‘DA FUNK” Aug. 21Sept. 29 on the Alliance Stage in the Woodruf f Ar ts Center. Tickets are $20-$49 and can be obtained by calling the Woodruf f Ar ts Center Box Of fice at (404) 733-5000. Also, visit www.alliancetheatre.org for info.

Voted Best Steak In Augusta Year After Year

31 M E T R O

Come Eat With Us!

“SPACE STATION 3D” IMAX FILM, “Seahorses: Beyond Imagination” at the Tennessee Aquarium; Rock City Cornfield Maze; Southern Belle Riverboat. It’s all happening in Chat tanooga. Call the Convention and Visitors Bureau at (423) 756-8687.

S P I R I T

ART IN THE PARK Aug. 17 in Blowing Rock, N.C. Ar tists and craf ters present their work from 10 a.m.-5 p.m. at the American Legion Grounds in downtown Blowing Rock. Free shut tle vans to site are available. Call the Chamber of Commerce at (828) 295-7851.

A U G

ATLANTA FALCONS CHARITY KICKOFF LUNCHEON to benefit the Atlanta Falcons Youth Foundation Aug. 16 at the Georgia Dome. Auction, player autographs and speeches by Ar thur Blank and Dan Reeves. $40 per ticket; $400 for a corporate table. (404) 586-8510. THEATER OF THE STARS PRESENTS “42ND STREET” at the Fox Theatre in Atlanta Aug. 17 at 2 p.m. Tickets range from $20 to $52.50 and are now on sale through TicketMaster. (404) 249-6400. MASTERS OF THE AMERICAN WATERCOLOR, SOUTH CAROLINA WATERCOLOR SOCIETY exhibits run through Aug. 18 at the Columbia Museum of Ar t in Columbia, S.C. Visit www.columbiamuseum.org or call (803) 799-2810. GEORGIA MOUNTAIN FAIR through Aug. 18 in Hiawassee, Ga. Midway and carnival rides, craf ts and exhibits, historical demonstrations, pioneer village, fireworks, parade and more. Call (706) 896-4191 or visit www.georgia-mountain-fair.com. SUMMER EVENING CONCERTS AT BILTMORE ESTATE in Asheville, N.C.: Ar turo Sandoval, Aug. 10; Beach Night with Maurice Williams and the Zodiacs, the Embers and Felix Cavaliere’s Rascals, Aug. 16; Randy Newman, Aug 17; Pat t y Loveless, Aug. 24; and the Indigo Girls, Aug. 31. For reser vations, call 1-800-543-2961.

Benefits SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER BLOOD DRIVES in various locations around the CSRA this month. The blood center is urging people of all blood types to donate in order to combat a blood supply shor tage. For detailed information on locations and times to donate, visit www.shepeardblood.org. You may also call Susan Edwards at (803) 643-7996 for information on Aiken locations and Nancy Szocinski at 737-4551 for information on all other locations. CAMP R AINBOW BENEFIT OPEN HORSE SHOW Sept. 7 at the Hippodrome in Nor th Augusta. Open to equestrians of all ages; classes include English, Western, championship and exhibition. Entry fees are $5 for standard classes, $10 for the championship class and $2 for the exhibition class. Registration at 8 a.m., opening ceremony at 9 a.m. Spectators admit ted free. To enter, or for more information, call 721-4004. “CHRISTMAS FOR CHARITIES” GOLF TOURNAMENT Aug. 29 benefits various local charities. Sponsored by the Greater Augusta Association of Insurance and Financial Advisors. $60 per person fee includes lunch at noon; tournament begins at 1 p.m. Held at Forest Hills Golf Club. Call Diane Morris, 738-7082, or Pat Campbell, 860-4136, to sign up. CELEBRITY MEN’S GREAT OUTDOOR COOK-OFF Aug. 24, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at Lake Olmstead. Food, enter tainment, vendors and more. Tickets are $10 for adults and $5 for kids 12 and under and may be purchased in advance at the Beulah Grove Community Resource Center or the ASU Athletic Depar tment. 823-0905. AIKEN SUN RUN to benefit the Cumbee Center to Assist Abused Persons held Aug. 24, 8 a.m. at the Odell Weeks Center. Af ter the 5K race,a one-mile Fun Run will be held for those ages 14 and under. Contact the volunteer/special events coordinator at (803) 6490480 for more information. SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER SHAG AND STROLL Aug. 23, 7:30-11 p.m. at the Historic Firehouse on Broad Street. Fundraiser for a new bloodmobile features low country food, music by Flashback, limbo contests, shag demos, dancing, silent auction and more. Tickets are $30 per person; corporate tables available for $1000. Call Lanie Wilson at 737-4551 or visit www.shepeardblood.org.

2856 Washington

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1654 Gordon Hwy.

73-STEAK 796-1875

Open 11am - till Late Night, Every Night! TAKE OUTS AVAILABLE

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S E RV I N G A U G U S TA F O R 2 0 Y E A R S 2825 Washington Road Fairway Square 737.8805 Mon-Thu 9-7 Fri & Sat 9-5

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“THE TIES THAT BIND” African-American Ar t and Heritage Tour Program available to students in grades 3-12. Prior to touring the Morris Museum, a museum docent visits students in their classroom and provides a slide orientation. Available year-round, TuesdayFriday, and must be scheduled at least two weeks in advance. Call the Morris Museum of Ar t at 724-7501 or visit the museum Web site at www.themorris.org.

Out of Town

natural beauty products organic foods

Hardy memorabilia; films also shown. Located at 250 N. Louisville Street in downtown Harlem. Open 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Wed.-Sat. and 1-4 p.m. Sundays through Oct. 14. Af ter Oct. 14, hours are 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Fri.-Sat. and 1-4 p.m. Sundays. For more information, call 556-3448.

32 SUMMER BEACH PARTY AND DANCE to benefit the M E T R O S P I R I T

Outreach Projects.” Free training event takes place at Senior Citizens Council of Greater Augusta and the CSRA Aug. 16, 2-4 p.m. Group connects senior ministry organizers with aging-related public education materials, training oppor tunities and more. For more information or to reserve a spot in the workshop by Aug. 9, call Cynthia Haley at 210-2000, ex t. 132.

American Cancer Society Aug. 9 in the Radisson River front Hotel Ballroom. 7:30 to 11:30 p.m. Live music by The Fabulous Expressions and dancing, as well as an auction. Tickets are $37.50/person or $65/couple and are available at the American Cancer Society of fice or by phone at 731-9900.

PEOPLE WITH ARTHRITIS CAN EXERCISE (PACE) meets at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital Tuesdays and Thursdays from 1-2 p.m. Call 823-5294.

AMERICAN RED CROSS BLOOD DRIVES at the Aiken Red Cross Blood Center on Millbrook Drive and the Augusta Red Cross Blood Center on Pleasant Home Road. The bloodmobile will also stop at various area locations this week. For a complete list, call the Aiken A Blood Center at (803) 642-5180 or the Augusta Blood U Center at 868-8800.

THE SENIOR CITIZENS COUNCIL OF GREATER AUGUSTA AND THE CSR A of fers a variety of classes, including aerobics, quilting, tai chi, Spanish, painting, line dancing, bowling, bridge, crochet, pool/billiards, drawing and pinochle. For dates and times, phone 826-4480.

G 8 2 0 0 2

Learning

ARTHRITIS AQUATICS of fered Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital. Classes meet 9-9:45 a.m., 10-10:45 a.m. or 12:15-1 p.m. $37.50/month. To register, call 733-5959.

UNIVERSITY OF GEORGIA SMALL BUSINESS OUTREACH SERVICES is holding “Writing a Business Plan” workshop Aug. 20, 6:30-8:30 p.m. at the Small Business Outreach Services/Small Business Development Center Augusta Of fice on Claussen Road. $35 fee. Call 737-1790. AUGUSTA STATE UNIVERSITY CONTINUING EDUCATION is now of fering the following classes: Digital Photography for Beginners, Intermediate Photography, Stained Glass and Intermediate Shag I. Also, ASU of fers online courses. For more information, call 7371636 or visit www.ced.aug.edu. AIKEN TECH CONTINUING EDUCATION is now of fering the following courses: Intro to Computers,Creating Web Pages, Intro to Massage Therapy, Intro to Java Script, Driver Education, and more. Classes begin in July and August. Aiken Tech also of fers Education to Go classes online. For more information or to register, call (803) 593-9231, ex t. 1230.

Health KIDNEY DISEASE HEALTH SCREENING Aug. 24, 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. at the Beulah Grove Community Resource Center. Screening recommended for those with diabetes, high blood pressure or those with a family history of the above. For information, call 1800-633-2339. PEACHCARE FOR KIDS AND RIGHT FROM THE START MEDICADE of fers free or low-cost health coverage to qualifying families. Coverage includes prenatal care, hospitalization, vaccines, dental and vision care and is available to pregnant women of all ages and to children through age 19. Contact the RSM Project at 729-2086 or 721-5611 for information. YOGA CLASSES at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital are held on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 7-8 a.m. for $45/month or 10:30 a.m. to noon for $55/month. Call 823-6294. FREE HIV/AIDS TESTING every Tuesday from 4 to 7 p.m. at St. Stephen’s Ministry, 922 Greene Street. Free anonymous testing, pre- and post-test counseling and education. HATHA YOGA CLASSES at the St. Joseph Home Health Care Center in Daniel Village Plaza. Held 10 a.m. to noon Monday, Wednesday and Friday and 6:30-8:30 p.m. Monday through Thursday. $10 per class or $60 a month for unlimited classes. Mats are provided, but bring a towel and a water bot tle. Call Tess at 738-2782 for more information. A FREE WOMEN’S HEALTH CLINIC is held from 6-8 p.m. on the first and third Thursday of each month at the Salvation Army and Welfare Center, 1383 Greene St. Services include Pap smear, breast exam and the diagnosis and treatment of sexually transmit ted diseases. For more info or an appointment, call the St. Vincent dePaul Health Center at 828-3444. W.G. WATSON, M.D., WOMEN’S CENTER CONDUCTS EDUCATION CLASSES at University Hospital. Course topics include Lamaze, breast feeding, parenting and grandparenting. Par tners will learn positive suppor t techniques. There are also programs designed to help older siblings adjust to new family members. Some classes are free, while others require a fee. Registration is required by calling 774-2825.

Kids EVENTS AT THE FAMILY Y: Tubman Learning Center program registration now open to children 2.5-5 years

SENIORNET provides adults age 50 and over education for and access to computer technology. Many different courses are of fered. Contact the USC-Aiken Continuing Education Of fice at (803) 641-3563.

“‘Yard art’ is what the (ASU grounds people refer to it as,” says Brian Rust about the Robert Stackhouse work that he just helped disassemble. The piece had been there nearly three and a half years, and was succumbing to the elements. Rust realized it was time to let it go. So he got out a chain saw and went to work. The curved A-frame piece, which resembled a ship, was called “A Augusta.” It was a piece that invited interraction. It wanted you to walk beneath its A-frame tunnel and stand on its deck. To enjoy it while there was still time. And that sense of time passing is possibly just what Stackhouse had in mind. One of the things Rust found interesting about working with the other artist was Stackhouse’s attitude toward his own work. “He likens them to theater props which are up and then struck after the performance. Very different from his paintings which are shown in gallery and museum settings.” But still... “The process of taking down a temporary artwork is always a bit odd,” Rust said. “I have had to do this to most of my installation work too, unless the school or other venue agrees to do it like I was doing for Robert. Seeing the place where this large work once stood is slightly unsettling, like a good friend moving away. This ‘here and then gone’ experience is the beauty and the tragedy of temporary installation. In the end it exists in the minds of those who experienced it.” Rust says that Stackhouse is enjoying the final year of his term as the endowed chair at University of Georgia, and that his work is still represented in Augusta by the Mary Pauline Gallery on Broad Street. Gallery owner Molly McDowell has some of his work in her possession. He also paints. of age; Parents’ Night Out Aug. 9, 6-10 p.m. For information on the Tubman Learning Center program, contact Delores Bennefield at 738-6680. For information on Parents’ Night Out, phone 733-1030. SAFETY PRESENTATION by Eva Cooper of the Augusta-Richmond County Sheriff Depar tment Aug. 14, 10:30 a.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. 736-6244. BACK-TO-SCHOOL BLAST Aug. 24 at For t Discovery. Noon-4 p.m. celebration features live enter tainment, special activities, science demos, take-home projects and more. Admission is $8/adult, $6/children, senior citizens and active military. 821-0200. “HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR CHILD’S EDUCATION” parents’ workshop Aug. 17, 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. Call the library at 736-6758. ACADEMIC HELP AND TUTORING available Saturdays, 2:30-4:30 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 722-6275 to make arrangements. COLUMBIA COUNTY RECREATION SPORTS REGISTR ATION through Aug. 17 at Patriots Park. Hours are Mon.-Fri., 8 a.m.-7 p.m. and Sat. 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Fall spor ts of fered are football, cheerleading, soccer, baseball and sof tball. $50 fee for first child, $45 for second child and $35 for third; out-of-county residents pay double. Visit www.co.columbia.ga.us or call 863-7523. TEEN ADVISORY COUNCIL AT THE MORRIS MUSEUM OF ART begins in September. Members meet weekly to plan museum events for young adults. Applications must be received by Aug. 31 and can be obtained by contacting Victoria Durrer at 828-3865. AIKEN COUNTY BACK-TO-SCHOOL FESTIVAL features information for elementary and middle school students and their parents. Physical exams and immunization and nutrition information will be available in addition to registration for ex tra-curricular activities.

Aug. 10, 10 a.m.-3 p.m. at the Weeks Center. Call Beth Frits, 364-6400. GIRLS INCORPOR ATED AFTER-SCHOOL PROGR AM begins Aug. 12 and runs through the end of the 20022003 school year. A variety of programs will be of fered. Services include van pick-up at select schools, evening drop-of f, homework room and hot evening meal. Open to girls in kindergar ten through high school. Open 9 a.m.-5:30 p.m. for registration star ting August 5. Af ter-school program of fered 2:306 p.m. Mon.-Fri. For more information, call 733-2512.

Sports SAVANNAH RIVER DART ASSOCIATION REGISTR ATION Aug. 12 at the Highlander Pub. Preregistration available online at www.csradar ts.com. $20 fee includes league par ticipation, banquet and awards. Beginners welcome. League play begins Aug. 19 at various locations in the area. Call 441-DART. LANGLEY POND JET SKI R ACES Aug. 24, beginning at 1 p.m. Two divisions in each of three races: barrel, drag and oval. $15 registration fee per event if registered by Aug. 12; $20 per event if registered later. Registration at the Aiken County Parks, Recreation and Tourism of fice. For more information on how to register, contact Linda Smith, (803) 642-7558 or e-mail lsmith@aikencounty.net. ADULT FALL SOFTBALL REGISTR ATION through Aug. 10 at Diamond Lakes Regional Park. Call 771-2979. YOUTH MONTHLY SPARRING the last Thursday of the month, 5:30 p.m., at the Augusta Boxing Club. Call 733-7533. BEGINNER’S ADULT HOCKEY LEAGUE held through Aug. 15 at the Augusta Ice Spor ts Center. Contact Kyle Schultz at 724-4423 or the Augusta Ice Spor ts Center at 863-0061. AUGUSTA RECREATION AND PARKS SUMMER SWIMMING POOLS now open. Pools are located at Dyess Park, May Park, Jones Pool and Fleming Pool. Call 796-5025. OPEN SWIM at the Smith Hazel pool through August. Held Monday-Friday, 1-6 p.m.; Saturday, noon-5 p.m.; Sunday, 1-5 p.m. Cost for children is 50 cents and adults pay $1. Call (803) 642-7755 for more information.

“INTRODUCTION TO COMPUTERS” one-session class of fered Aug. 9, 16, 23 and 30, 9:30-11 a.m. at the Ma xwell Branch Library. Phone 793-2020.

AUGUSTA GREENJACKETS HOME GAMES Aug. 14-21, 26-28, 30-31 and Sept. 1-2. Ticket prices range from $6$8, with discounts for children and seniors. Sundays are Family Fest/Junior Jacket days, Tuesdays are “Two Fer” Tuesdays/Team Trivia and Thursdays are Thirsty Thursdays. For tickets, call 736-7889 or go to www.tixonline.com. Also check out www.greenjackets.net.

YOUTH LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT SKILLS PROGR AM for teens ages 12-19 held the third Saturday of the month at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum of Black History. Call 724-3576.

Volunteer

SIBSHOPS every third Saturday of the month at the MCG Children’s Medical Center Conference Center. This program is designed for siblings of children with special health and developmental needs. Phone 721KIDS for information.

RIVERS ALIVE STATEWIDE VOLUNTEER RIVER CLEANUP takes place Aug. 24 with the Augusta Canal Cleanup. The public is invited to join. Call the Sierra Club at 863-2324 for more information.

WEEKLY STORY SESSIONS at all branch libraries. Visit www.ecgrl.public.lib.ga.us for more information. FIRST SATURDAY STORYTELLING at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum. In addition, there is a tour of the museum. Held 10 a.m. to noon the first Saturday of the month. Call 724-3576.

Seniors GEORGIA INTERFAITH VOLUNTEERS FOR ELDERS PUBLIC WORKSHOP: “Recruiting Volunteers for

MARCH OF DIMES CHAIN REACTION LEADERSHIP COUNCIL currently accepting nominations for high school freshmen through juniors to serve on the council. Purpose is to increase awareness of the March of Dimes among high school students while building leadership skills. Deadline for nominations is Sept. 13. Call Tracy Klemens at 733-8438 for a nomination pack. THE JERRY LEWIS LABOR DAY TELETHON needs local volunteers to fill the following positions: phone operators, pledge verification, pledge tally, green room, production assistant. Groups and individuals welcome. Telethon is Sept. 2, and volunteers work flexible shif ts. Call 738-8543.

Got Turquoise? We Have. Photo courtesy of NASA

A U G 8 2 0 0 2

AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL: New volunteer orientation is scheduled the first Saturday of every month at 11 a.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Schedule subject to change; call 790-6836 to verify dates and times. THE CSR A HUMANE SOCIETY is looking for animal lovers willing to donate a lit tle of their time. Volunteers are needed every Saturday at the Pet Center located behind GreenJackets Stadium on Milledge Road. Call 261-PETS for more info.

Meetings CSRA CHAPTER OF THE GEORGIA ASSOCIATION OF PUBLIC ACCOUNTANTS meets at Athens Restaurant on Bobby Jones Aug. 15 at 8:15 a.m. At torney James Plunket t will speak on corporations and LLCs. 650-1700. THE RICHMOND COUNTY REPUBLICAN PARTY will hold a break fast meeting Aug. 10, 9-10 a.m. at the Piccadilly Cafeteria on Washington Road. Meeting features Ma x Burns and Barbara Dooley, candidates for the 12th Congressional District. Call Nancy Parks at 736-4023 for information. THE AUGUSTA-AIKEN SOCIETY FOR HUMAN RESOURCES MANAGEMENT meets Aug. 16, 7:30-9:15 a.m. at the Radisson River front Hotel. Legislative and cour t ruling update on human resources issues by Ed Enoch. $15 guest fee includes breakfast. Make reservations by calling Maria Defever at (803) 442-7812.

BOOK DISCUSSION GROUP meets Aug. 19, 7 p.m. at the Gibbs Library. Discussion on “Seabiscuit” by Laura Hillenbrand. Call 863-1946. THE AUGUSTA SKI AND OUTING CLUB is a non-profit organization for those who enjoy snow skiing, boating, camping, whitewater raf ting, cycling and other outdoor recreation. Meets 6:45 p.m. the first Tuesday of every month at The Cot ton Patch. Social scheduled for Aug. 20 at Famous Dave’s on Washington Road. Club interests should call (803) 279-6186.

The Raven’s Hoard Custom Jewelry Gallery Corner of 12th and Jones Downtown Augusta 724-3830

Weekly AUGUSTA TOASTMASTERS CLUB #326 meets Thursdays at 7:30 p.m. at Advent Lutheran Church. Call 868-8431. BUSINESS NETWORKERS INTERNATIONAL Augusta Chapter meets every Thursday morning from 7 to 8:30 a.m. in the Par tridge Inn main dining room. All professionals welcome; break fast provided for a fee. Call Stuar t Rayburn, 737-0050. RIVERWALK TOASTMASTERS meets Mondays, 7 p.m. in Classroom 3 at University Hospital. Call Gale Kan, 855-7071. GUIDELINES: Public Service announcements are listed in this section without charge at the discretion of the editor. Announcements must be received by Monday at noon and will be included as space permits. Send to Events, The Metropolitan Spirit, P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA, 30914 or Fa x (706) 733-6663. Listings cannot be taken over the phone.

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AUGUSTA TASK FORCE FOR THE HOMELESS holds its monthly meetings the third Tuesday of the month.

All meetings are open to the public. For more information, call 723-0040. LUPUS SUPPORT GROUP holds its first meeting Aug. 21, 7 p.m. in Classroom 1 on the third floor of University Hospital. Meeting will determine area interest in a lupus suppor t group; open to patients and their families. Call Marlene Roberson, 721-2171, or email Lupus_Friends@hotmail.com.

M E T R O S P I R I T

You can see all kinds of things in the night sky if you know how and when to look. This little gem is a comet. Sorry, we don’t know where you can find one of those in the near future, but the staff of Southeastern Natural Sciences Academy can take you meteor-hunting. The Perseids Meteor Shower is on the cosmic calendar for Monday, Aug. 12 and you too can catch them in the act. There will be a two-mile hike to a remote seating area, a viewing of constellations and a front-row seat for the meteor shower. There is a limit of 25 and the deadline is Aug. 11. The cost is $3 for members, $5 for nonmembers. For info call (706) 828-2109 or e-mail bedaj@bellsouth.net. OLDER AMERICANS ACT SENIOR NUTRITION PROGR AM is looking for volunteers to serve meals to needy older residents. To volunteer, contact the Senior Citizens Council at 826-4480. For those in need of home-delivered meals, call 210-2018 or toll free at 1888-922-4464.

s i c u on M

the River

featuring

“The United States Army Signal Corps Band” performing tunes the entire family can enjoy

August 15 & 29, 2002 Riverwalk Augusta Jessye Norman Amphitheater 7 p.m. Admission Free

34 M E T R O S P I R I T A U G

Music More to the Baha Men than “Dogs”

BY LISA JORDAN

Atlanta Offers Up Diverse Musical Palette This Week

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Yeah, he’s coming your way. It’s been three years since Lenny Kravitz (pictured) has toured, but fans of the eclectic rocker should be pleased to hear that Kravitz is finally packing up and touring the U.S. this summer in support of his latest effort, "Lenny." The introspective album has already spawned a Grammy win for Kravitz for "Best Male Rock Vocal Performance" on the single "Dig In." And, continuing the weekend’s Bahamas theme, "Lenny" was written in a quiet beachfront shack on one of the islands. The Atlanta date is set for Aug. 8 at Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre, and tickets are available through TicketMaster. Pink and Abandoned Pools are set to open.

e all know by now just who let the dogs out. It was the Baha Men, and if you thought their summer 2000 hit was all they had to offer, think again. In their native Bahamas, the Baha Men are superstars – they’ve also been around for 23 years. This all comes as a surprise to American audiences, who have only been treated to "Who Let the Dogs Out?" The three vocalists on the 2000 album of the same name were fresh blood brought into the band’s rotating lineup just before the album was produced. Two of them are related to some of the Baha Men’s core members. Fast-forward to the present. The dogs are back in their cages and the Baha Men have released another album, "Move It Like This." They’ve also put together a funky cover of Elton John’s "Crocodile Rock" for The Crocodile Hunter’s feature film. And what would a new album be without a tour? The Baha Men will be in Atlanta

Aug. 11 at Earthlink Live, performing their sunny, island-infused brand of dance music. The central sound of the Baha Men comes out of a Bahamas tradition – that of Junkanoo, the music of an annual celebration marking the successful revolt of slaves on the island. But grouped in with that sound are rhythms influenced by everything from pop to reggae to ska. It’s also kid-approved: The Baha Men took home the Favorite Band Award from the Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards. They also have in their possession a Grammy for best dance recording on the "Who Let the Dogs Out?" single. You’ll want to take a bunch of hypedup pre-teens to the "Pop Till You Drop Tour," which puts the Baha Men onstage with A*Teens, a quartet of Swedish teens modeled after Abba. Doors open at 5:30 and tickets are $25, available from TicketMaster. You never know – you just might be barking along with the crowd.

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, fresh off a three-year hiatus from recording (three must be a lucky number for musicians) offer up a new album this October; meanwhile, they’re planning on hooking fans all over again with a U.S. tour. Original bass player Ron Blair comes back for a bit of fun on the road. Joining them will be Jackson Browne, who will treat audiences to his folky brand of ballads. Catch the tour’s Atlanta stop Aug. 9, also at Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre. As usual, TicketMaster can hook you up. Fiery redhead and country superstar Jo Dee Messina swoops through the Fox Theatre on Aug. 10 as part of her "It’s Your Life" tour. The Massachusetts-born Messina is promoting "Burn," her newest album; it’s already gone double-platinum. Messina is already a favorite on CMT and has opened for Brooks & Dunn and The Judds, as well as headlining her own tour last year. And even though you’d think, touring as extensively as she does, that Messina would be worn out by now, her shows are apparently as energetic and bubbly as she is.

Yes, Yes will be dropping in on Atlanta, too. Aug. 13 finds the British rockers at Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre. After more than 30 years of bringing their unusual and layered art rock sounds to the world, Yes returns with the "Yes 2002" tour. According to fan reviews on yesworld.com, the first leg of the tour has been top-notch, with almost three hours of music and plenty of classic Yes tunes. There’s even a few new ones to keep you on your toes. And, in a reunion of sorts, Rick Wakeman joins Yes again to complete their classic lineup. Duo Hall & Oates will bring their hits to Chastain Park on Aug. 13. They have 30 years’ worth to perform. And, their status as the most commercially successful duo of the ‘80s means you’ll recognize most of their songs. But you couldn’t forget "Maneater," could you? In case you ever wondered how Hall & Oates hooked up, they met in a freight elevator as college students fleeing a gang fight that had broken out at a dance their respective bands were playing at. To grab tickets for any of this week’s shows, surf over to www.ticketmaster.com or call them up at 828-7700.

Music By Turner

What About Exodus? Dept. Peter Gabriel returns Sept. 24 with a new studio set, “Up,” his first all-new studio album in a decade. Guesting on the ex-Genesis leader’s disc are Fleetwood Mac’s co-founder Peter Green, the Blind Boys of Alabama, and the late Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan. Gabriel will tour in support of the disc and the news is good – a Nov. 5 date is already set in

Atlanta with the venue to be announced later. Check out his solo works, which were recently reissued and remastered with stunning sound.

People Who Must leader Joe Stevenson’s popular “Homegrown” radio show recently went from one hour to a two hour format. Spotlighting local and regional bands, Joe and his co-host Freakboy also have a live band in the studio each week. This innovative programming airs each Sunday on 95.1 FM from 8 to 10 p.m. Wanna be heard on the radio? You can submit your CDs to the show at 432 Belair Road, Martinez, GA 30907. Turner’s Rock and Roll Jeopardy: A. This was the largest rock festival ever in the U.S.

Band & Orchestral Instrument Rentals Available

SEE PAGE 42

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H O U S E O F I N T E R N AT I O N A L P I Z Z A S

Weight Loss Study for those with Type 2 Diabetes Mellitus

Please call CSRA Partners in Health at 706-860-3001 to determine if you qualify for this study.

CSRA PARTNERS IN HEALTH Diane K. Smith, MD

Now Serving Lunch

SOUPS, SALADS AND SANDWICHES

Hot meals every

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THE

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L O U N G E

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I N T E R N E T P R I C E S - LO C A L CO N V E N I E N C E

1228 Augusta West Parkway • Augusta, Ga 30909 • 706-860-3152

MONDAY - FRIDAY 11:30 - 2PM

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Guitar & Drum Lessons starting at $30 per month

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S P I R I T

Introducing Hairstylists Felix Casteel and Kristi Cowart Also taking new clients Marylynn Logan and Morrisa Whitehead

AUGUST SPECIALS include

Massage Therapy - $15 & up - Call Theresa for details and Tanning

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712 Bohler Avenue • 706-364-4323

(off Walton Way behind Ga Power)

1/11/01

Oh God! It’s Rod, and you won’t believe what songs he’s singing. In another shining example of what happens when you’re three years from turning 60 and Rachel Hunter still won’t return your e-mails, Rod Stewart has an album of standards ready for the fall. In a move similar to the one Willie Nelson made with his epic 1978 “Stardust” album of ‘30s and ‘40s classics, Stewart has recorded new versions of “It Had To Be You,” “The Way You Look Tonight” and “Moonglow.” It’s obvious why his new label wants the career change – his last LP, “Human,” barely scraped the top 50 when issued last year.

R E S T A U R A N T

M E T R O

BY ED TURNER

Q. What is Watkins Glen, N.Y.? (600,000 people attended.) The Allmans, The Band, and The Grateful Dead performed.

everal big concerts are coming this week to Atlanta as the long (and very hot) summer concert season remains in full swing. The only problem is deciding which one(s) to enjoy. Lenny Kravitz visits Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre Aug. 8. Kravitz is on the road promoting his latest album, “Lenny,” from last year. TicketMaster. Lauryn Hill, whose recent “Unplugged” release is racing up the charts, is in town the very same night at the Tabernacle. The club (actually an old church building) is always a fine place to catch a show. TicketMaster. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers have an Aug. 9 concert at Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre. Jackson Browne (recently conspicuous by his absence) opens for what should prove to be a great evening of music. Petty and band have a new album due in the stores this fall so expect some cool new tunes from the Florida rocker. Also playing on Aug. 9 are The Smithereens along with Hootie and the Blowfish. They will entertain at the Coca-Cola Centennial Olympic Park in Atlanta. Hootie frontman Darius Rucker’s first solo effort “Back to Then” was released last week.

FOR ALL YOUR MUSIC SUPPLIES

2 0 0 2

S P I R I T A U G 8 2 0 0 2

Free Beer Makes People Happy

nd the crowd went wild. Really. They really did. After every song they just sort of lost it. It was on a Friday about a month ago, at the Cotton Patch. A lot of people had come out for Free Beer, even knowing it was a band and not the liquid stuff. Rain had driven the band and everyone else inside by the time the press arrived, and the room was snugly packed. It was hard to find a single person there who was not having a good time. Later on, guitarist Greg Connell spoke with us about the band, the band’s name, and why they do what they do. “Every night we play we always get three or four wanting us to play a wedding or a party,” he said, adding that they’re at The Cotton Patch at least once a month. The band is about four, maybe five, years old, but he and the bassist, Allen Cooke, have been playing together since they were kids. That’s because they’re cousins. So you may be wondering what’s up with the name. “It’s a common name, I guess,” Connell said. And a common idea, also, to tease people with naughty things. Like Bare Naked Ladies. The nameless group had gotten a gig for themselves once upon a time and had to figure out how to bill the band. He said they had joked about calling themselves

BY RHONDA JONES

“Free Beer,” and nothing better came along. “It got down to crunch time. We were playing and they needed to have a name to put in the paper. We went with it.” And they stayed with it. A name like that gets a response. “There’s always a heckler who wants to know where the free beer is,” Connell said. “Keeps it interesting.” Though Connell and Cooke have written songs in the past, Free Beer performs mainly classics. Some of their favorites are “Long, Cool Woman” by the Hollies, “Squeezebox” by The Who, “American Band” by Grand Funk Railroad, “Dreams” by Molly Hatchet, “Show Me the Way” by Peter Frampton, and “Detroit Rock City” and “Rock ‘n’ Roll All Night” by KISS. They also do “Pinball Wizard.” I heard ‘em. Playing these songs is special, Connell said, because people often come up to them with comments like, “Man, I love what you play. I haven’t heard that song in forever.” You can request anything from Jimmy Buffett to KISS to Lynyrd Skynyrd. “We try to be the most diversified band there is,” he said. “We even play Elvis songs.” Of course, we had to know if they have groupies.

“Yeah, but not as exciting as some of the big bands,” Connell said. “As a matter of fact, the other night, a local car dealer, he said, ‘Yeah, the only reason I’m here is, I saw y’all are playing.’” But their biggest fans can usually be found at a table near the stage, and are married to this band member or that one. “The wives are there most of the time,” he said. “Sometimes we play a Friday night and a Saturday night gig. Sometimes they might overdo it Friday night and don’t come out Saturday.” Sometimes Free Beer have a little too

much fun on a Friday night themselves, but they’re always back Saturday nights to do it all again, regardless of how tired they might be. Because they love doing it. “It’s a stress relief,” Connell said. “It beats going home and kicking the dog.” In addition to Greg Connell, Free Beer are bassist and cousin Allen Cooke; drummer and all-’round good guy Kevin “Hop” Hopkins; guitarist and troubleshooter Gene Chriswell; sound man and fifth member Mark Stone.

Call for Tickets:

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M E T R O

37 M E T R O S P I R I T

Thursday, 8th

Aiken Brewing Co. - DJ Big Iron Saloon - Russell Bonham Cafe Du Teau - Buzz Clif ford Coconuts - DJ Coliseum - High-Energy Dance with DJ Hawk Continuum - Playa*Listic Thursday Cotton Patch - Dennis Hall Coyote’s - Rhes Reeves, Shelley Watkins and the Coyote Ugly Band D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Eagle’s Nest - Richardean Norwood, Michael Johnson, Karaoke Finish Line Cafe - Blind-Draw Fishbowl Lounge - Blind-Draw Dar ts Fox’s Lair - Karaoke Fraternal Order of Eagles - Bingo Greene Street’s - Men’s National Karaoke Contest Honk y Tonk - The Duke Boys Joe’s Underground - Paul Arrowood Last Call - Ma x from 95 Rock hosts Barroom Olympics, DJ Richie Rich Logan’s Roadhouse - Karaoke with Bill Tolber t Luck y Ladies Bar and Grill - Pool League Marlboro Station - Talent Night Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Modjeska - House Music Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ Playground - Open Mic Night Rhythm and Blues Exchange - Elliot Holden Group Richard’s Place - DJ Mike the Outlaw, Pool League Robbie’s Sports Bar - Pool and Dar t Leagues Safari Lounge Aiken - Karaoke Salsa’s Bar and Grill - Karaoke with Linda Eubanks Shannon’s - Tony Howard Silver Bullet Lounge - The Big Dogs Snook’s - Open Acoustic Jam Soul Bar - Rebus Sports Pub and Grill - Spor ts Trivia The Spot - Feature DJ

Left: Jackson Browne will be appearing with Tom Petty at HiFi Buys Amphitheatre in Atlanta, Aug. 9. Right: Here is how they describe themselves: “Rasputina is a pseudo-classical, hard-core ‘positive-goth’ cello band that has existed for eleven years. Though various girls have passed through her tutelage, founder and directress Melora Creager remains constant and forthright in her mission to make funny, depressing music with nothing more than cellos, singing and electricity.” According to the Web site at rasputina.com, they have played with Cheap Trick, Marilyn Manson, Joan Osborne, Porno For Pyros, the B-52’s Fred Schneider. And more. On Aug. 9 at 9 p.m., they will play at the Masquerade in Atlanta. Find tickets thrugh TicketMaster.

Squeak y’s Tip-Top - Live Music Surrey Tavern - Blind-Draw Dar t Tournament Wheeler Tavern - Flashback and Company

Friday, 9th

Back yard Tavern - Karaoke, Horseshoes Bhoomer’s Lounge - Niche Big Iron Saloon - Russell Bonham Borders - Leslie Berry Cafe Du Teau - Buzz Clif ford, Carl Brown Capri Cinema - 48 In The Basement Charlie O’s - Live Music Coconuts - Miss Hawaiian Tropic with DJ Doug Coliseum - Miss Dianne Chanel Continuum - In the House Friday with DJ Nick Snow Cotton Patch - John & Andy Coyote’s - Rhes Reeves, Shelley Watkins and the Coyote Ugly Band Crossroads - Juice D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Euchee Creek Sports Bar - Karaoke Finish Line Cafe - DJ Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke with Linda Eubanks Fox’s Lair - Roger Eneveldson Gordon Club - Flavor Fridays Greene Street’s - Karaoke with DJ Penny Highlander - Live Music Honk y Tonk - The Duke Boys The Infield Sports Bar & Grill - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Keith “Fossill” Gregory Kokopelli’s - Twist Like 8, Jemani Last Call - Dakota West, Tony Howard, DJ Richie Rich Lucky Ladies Bar and Grill - The Niche, Blind Draw Marlboro Station - Show Night with Special Guest Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Modjeska - DJ R. El Rey Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ Partridge Inn - The C. Anthony Carpenter Project Patti’s - Free Pool

Private I - Disco Red Lion - 5th Year Crush, Lithium Rhy thm and Blues Exchange - Tony Williams and Blues Express Richard’s Place - Midnight Magic Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Mykie G Safari Lounge Aiken - Shag Night with DJ Shannon’s - Bar t Bell Silver Bullet Lounge - The Big Dogs Soul Bar - ’80s Night The Spot - Ms. Behavin’ Competition Surrey Tavern - Soul Dimension Veracruz - Live Music Wheeler Tavern - Flashback and Company

Saturday, 10th

Back yard Tavern - Karaoke Bhoomer’s Lounge - Niche Big Iron Saloon - Russell Bonham Borders - Rod Macker t Cafe Du Teau - Buzz Clif ford, Carl Brown Charlie O’s - Live Music, Military Night Coconuts - DJ Doug Coliseum - Ravionne Continuum - Lithium Cotton Patch - John & Andy Country Ranch - Karaoke Coyote’s - Rhes Reeves, Shelley Watkins and the Coyote Ugly Band Crossroads - 420 Outback, Four Daze D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Finish Line Cafe - DJ, Dar t Tournament, Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke with Linda Eubanks, Blind-Draw Dar ts Fox’s Lair - Roger Eneveldson Gordon Club - Salsa Night Greene Street’s - Karaoke with DJ Penny Honk y Tonk - The Duke Boys Joe’s Underground - Keith “Fossill” Gregory Kokopelli’s - John Lisi, Delta Funk

Last Call - Tony Howard, DJ Luck y Ladies Bar and Grill - The Niche Marlboro Station - Show Night with Special Guest Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Modjeska - Miami Night with DJ Boriqua Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ Playground - Barroom Olympics Private I - Disco, Live Jazz and R&B Rae’s Coastal Cafe - Live Music Red Lion - Live Enter tainment Rhy thm and Blues Exchange - Tony Williams and Blues Express Richard’s Place - DJ Mike the Outlaw Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Mykie G Safari Lounge Aiken - Karaoke Shannon’s - Glenn Beasley Silver Bullet Lounge - The Big Dogs Snook’s - Horseshoe Tournament Soul Bar - Hobex The Spot - Live DJ Squeak y’s Tip-Top - Live Music Surrey Tavern - Live Enter tainment Time Piecez - ‘80s Night Veracruz - Live Music Wheeler Tavern - Flashback and Company

Sunday, 11th

Adams Nightclub - Dance Par ty with DJ Tim Back yard Tavern - Karaoke Bhoomer’s Lounge - DJ Boriqua Cafe Du Teau - Buzz Clif ford and The Last Bohemian Quar tet Cotton Patch - Dennis Hall Country Ranch - Pool Tournament Finish Line Cafe - Blind-Draw Fraternal Order of Eagles - Bingo Logan’s Roadhouse - Trivia Marlboro Station - Starlight Cabaret with Claire Storm and Lauren Alexander Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ Rhy thm and Blues Exchange - Karaoke with Bill

A U G 8 2 0 0 2

38 Tolber t M E T R O S P I R I T A U G 8 2 0 0 2

Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Mykie G Shannon’s - Shelley Watkins Somewhere in Augusta - Live Enter tainment The Spot - Live DJ

Monday, 12th

Big Iron Saloon - Russell Bonham Coliseum - Q.A.F. Continuum - Monday Madness with DJ Freeman Crossroads - Club Sin Dance Par ty Elks Lodge - Line Dancing Finish Line Cafe - Open Pool Tournament Fraternal Order of Eagles - Bingo Highlander - Dar t League Honk y Tonk - Blues Monday featuring Robbie Ducey Band and Special Guest Joe’s Underground - John Kokopelli’s - Dar t Teams Luck y Ladies Bar and Grill - Dar ts Michael’s - Karaoke with Hugh Barrow Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ Red Lion - Karaoke Richard’s Place - Dar ts Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Mykie G Safari Lounge Aiken - Shag Lessons Snook’s - Free Pool Somewhere in Augusta - Monday Night Football Preseason with Y105 Surrey Tavern - Pat Blanchard

Tuesday, 13th

Adams Nightclub - Karaoke with Bill Tolber t American Legion Post No. 63 - Bingo Bhoomer’s Lounge - House Music Big Iron Saloon - Russell Bonham Club Incognito - DJ Richie Rich Coliseum - Tournament Tuesday Crossroads - Club Sin Dance Par ty Docker’s - Pool Tournament D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Elks Lodge - Line Dancing Fraternal Order of Eagles - Bingo French Market Grill West - Wayne Capps Greene Street’s - National Karaoke Contest Highlander - Open Mic Acoustic Jam Session Joe’s Underground - John Luck y Ladies Bar and Grill - Karaoke Metro Coffeehouse - Irish Music Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ Patti’s - Pool Tournament Red Lion - Dancing Under the Influence Snook’s - Open Acoustic Jam Somewhere in Augusta - Trivia Sports Pub and Grill - Trivia Surrey Tavern - Pat Blanchard

Wednesday, 14th

Big Iron Saloon - Russell Bonham Coconuts - DJ Coliseum - Talent Search Cotton Patch - Trivia with Mat t Stovall Coyote’s - Rhes Reeves, Shelley Watkins and the Coyote Ugly Band Docker’s - Free Pool D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Finish Line Cafe - Blind-Draw Greene Street’s - National Karaoke Contest Honk y Tonk - The Duke Boys Hooters - Karaoke with Bill Tolber t Joe’s Underground - Keith “Fossill” Gregory Logan’s Roadhouse - Trivia Luck y Ladies Bar and Grill - Pool League Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Modjeska - House Music Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ Playground - Golf Tournament

Rhythm and Blues Exchange - The Family Trucksters Richard’s Place - Pool League Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Mykie G, Free Pool Shannon’s - Bar t Bell Silver Bullet Lounge - The Big Dogs Snook’s - Open Acoustic Jam Somewhere in Augusta - Paul Arrowood Soul Bar - Live Jazz The Spot - Live DJ Surrey Tavern - John Kolbeck TGI Friday’s - Trivia Veracruz - Wayne Capps Wheeler Tavern - Flashback and Company

Upcoming

Charlie Daniels - Aiken Jaycees Fairgrounds Oct. 17

Elsewhere

LL Cool J - House of Blues, Myr tle Beach, S.C. - Aug. 8 Lenny Kravitz - Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - Aug. 8 The Breeders - Ear thlink Live, Atlanta - Aug. 9 Rasputina - Masquerade, Atlanta - Aug. 9 Jackson Browne, Tom Petty - Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - Aug. 9 Cowboy Mouth - The Windjammer, Charleston, S.C. - Aug. 12; House of Blues, Myr tle Beach, S.C. - Aug. 24 30 Seconds to Mars, The Exies - Cot ton Club, Atlanta - Aug. 14 Poison, Cinderella, Faster Pussycat - House of Blues, Myr tle Beach, S.C. - Aug. 16 King Hippo - Music Farm, Charleson, S.C. Aug.16 Aaron Tippin - Alabama Theatre, Myr tle Beach, S.C. - Aug. 17 Peter Frampton - House of Blues, Myr tle Beach, S.C. - Aug. 17 David Allen Coe - Senate Park, Columbia, S.C. Aug. 22 Dishwalla – Civic Center, Savannah, Ga. – Aug. 23 Dream Theater - The Tabernacle, Atlanta Aug.24 Charlie Pride - Alabama Theatre, Myr tle Beach, S.C. - Aug. 24 Norah Jones - Atlanta Symphony Hall, Atlanta Aug. 25 Peralta, Planes Mistaken for Stars - New Brookland Tavern, Columbia, S.C. - Aug. 28 Cher, Cyndi Lauper - Bi-Lo Center, Greenville, S.C. - Aug. 28 Aaron Carter - Bi-Lo Center, Greenville, S.C. Aug. 30 Tesla, Vince Neil, Skid Row - House of Blues, Myr tle Beach, S.C. - Aug. 31 Lorrie Morgan - Alabama Theatre, Myr tle Beach, S.C. - Sept. 1 Jump, Little Children - Music Farm, Charleston, S.C. - Sept. 6 Superdrag, Love Apple - New Brookland Tavern, Columbia, S.C. - Sept. 6 Of Montreal - New Brookland Tavern, Columbia, S.C. - Sept. 7 Dillenger 4 - New Brookland Tavern, Columbia, S.C. - Sept. 17 Merle Haggard - Alabama Theatre, Myr tle Beach, S.C. - Sept. 21 Many tickets are available through TicketMaster outlets, by calling 828-7700, or online at w w w.ticketmaster.com. Tickets may also be available through Tix Online by calling 278-4TIX or online at w w w.tixonline.com. Night Life listings are subject to change without notice. Deadline for inclusion in Night Life calendar is Tuesday at 4 p.m. Contact Rhonda Jones by calling 738-1142, fa xing 736-0443 or e-mailing to rhonda_jones@metspirit.com.

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Club Directory Adams Nightclub - 738-8811 Aiken Brewing Co. - (803) 502-0707 American Legion Post 63 - 733-9387 The Backyard Tavern - 869-8695 Big Iron Saloon - 774-9020 Bhoomer’s Lounge - 364-3854 Borders - 737-6962 Cafe Du Teau - 733-3505 Capri Cinema - Eighth and Ellis Street Charlie O’s - 737-0905 Club Incognito - 836-2469 Coconuts - 738-8133 Coliseum - 733-2603 Continuum - 722-2582 Cot ton Patch - 724-4511 Country Ranch - (803) 867-2388 Coyote’s - 560-9245 Crossroads - 724-1177 Docker’s - (803) 302-1102 D. Timm’s - 774-9500 Eagle’s Nest - 722-5541 Elks Lodge - 855-7162 Euchee Creek Spor ts Bar - 556-9010 Finish Line Cafe - 855-5999 Fishbowl Lounge - 790-6810 Fox’s Lair - 828-5600 Fraternal Order of Eagles - 790-8040 French Market Grille West - 855-5111 Gordon Club - 791-6780 Greene Street’s Lounge - 823-2002 Hangnail Gallery - 722-9899 Highlander - 278-2796 Honky Tonk - 560-0551 Hooters - 736-8454 The Infield - 652-1142 Jerri’s Place - 722-0088 Joe’s Underground - 724-9457

Kokopelli’s - 738-1881 Last Call - 738-8730 Logan’s Roadhouse - 738-8088 Lucky Ladies Bar and Grill - 651-0110 Marlboro Station - (803) 644-6485 Metro Coffeehouse - 722-6468 Michael's- 733-2860 Modjeska - 303-9700 Mulligan’s Nitelife - 738-1079 Par tridge Inn - 737-8888 Pat ti’s - 793-9303 Pizza Joint - 774-0037 The Playground - 724-5399 Private I - 793-9944 Rae’s Coastal Cafe - 738-1313 Red Lion Pub - 736-7707 Rhythm and Blues Exchange - 774-9292 Richard’s Place - 793-6330 Robbie’s Spor ts Bar - 738-0866 Safari Lounge Aiken - (803) 641-1100 Salsa’s Bar & Grill - 855-6868 Shannon's - 860-0698 Silver Bullet Lounge - 737-6134 Snook’s - (803) 278-2936 Somewhere In Augusta - 739-0002 The Soul Bar - 724-8880 The Spot - (803) 819-0095 Spor ts Pub and Grill - 432-0448 Squeaky’s Tip-Top - 738-8886 Surrey Tavern - 736-1221 TGI Friday’s - 736-8888 Time Piecez - 828-5888 Treybon - 724-0632 Veracruz - 736-4200 VFW Post No. 3200 - 736-9046 Wheeler Tavern - 868-5220 Whiskey Junction - (803) 649-0794

News of the

Weird I

n June, after the British musical group the Planets introduced a 60second piece of complete silence on its latest album, representatives of the estate of composer John Cage, who once wrote “4’33” (273 seconds of silence), threatened to sue the group for ripping Cage off (but failed, said the group, to specify which 60 of the 273 seconds it thought had been pilfered). Said Mike Batt of the Planets: “Mine is a much better silent piece. I (am) able to say in one minute what (took Cage) four minutes and 33 seconds.” • In July, a California Court of Appeal rejected as excessive an arbitration panel’s award of about $8,800 per lawyer-hour in fees ($88.5 million total, all from taxpayer funds) “earned” by the attorneys who successfully challenged an unconstitutional state law. Also in July, David L. Brite of California told the St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times that the Florida lawyer he had hired to find his step-grandmother’s will did only a few hours’ work at most, yet intended to keep $350,000 (a 25 percent fee) because the will turned out to be worth $1.4 million. Ice Cream Rights • In the last four months, residents of four cities have confronted ice-cream truck drivers over allegedly excessive noise and late hours on residential routes, and especially over the repeated playing of “Turkey in the Straw” (although “When the Saints Go Marching In” and “Yankee Doodle Dandy” have also been mentioned). Drivers were ticketed in Brunswick, Ga., and Hartford, Conn.; a protest was being organized in Green Bay, Wis.; and in London, about 50 icecream truck drivers blocked a downtown street, blaring their theme music at full blast, in protest of the city’s clamping down on their licenses. Great Art! • The pain of performance art: The annual “Fierce!” festival in London in May featured Mr. “Franco B” lightly slicing up his abdomen and keeping the wounds open for six hours, inviting patrons to observe the blood in order to “re-examine their own notions of what’s beautiful and what’s suffering.” And in May, the Artspace gallery in Sydney, Australia, featured artist Mike Parr having his only arm nailed to a wall for 36 hours to show “the possibility of confloating the body.” And performance artist Pierre Pinoncelli chopped off a pinky finger in June at a festival in Cali, Colombia, to symbolize the nation’s loss after a popular politician was recently kidnapped by the revolutionary group FARC. • Russia’s Culture Ministry changed its mind in April and decided to take Kasimir Malevich’s 1913 “Black

Square” painting off the block for an impending auction. Officials at the Gelos auction house in Moscow expected the 21-square-inch work (which is, in fact, only a black square) to bring in from $2-10 million. • For three months this spring, New York City’s New Museum of Contemporary Art displayed Belgian artist Wim Delvoye’s “Cloaca,” a room-sized mechanical rendition of a human intestine, which at announced times would take food input and process it into various components just as the body does, including the final waste product, which was then scooped up by an attendant and flushed. Said a German curator, Delvoye’s “strength” “lies in his ability to engineer conflict by combining the fine arts and folk art, and playing seriousness against irony.” Government in Action? • While health insurance plans have long been cut back drastically all over the country, the self-funded insurance of the county employees of Niagara County, N.Y., reimbursed more than $1.25 million since 1999 for its workers’ purely cosmetic face peels, breast implants and liposuction; taxpayers finally realized what was going on when property taxes shot up by 20 percent this year. And San Francisco elections supervisor Tammy Haygood was fired in April for cost overruns and irregularities but continues to fight for her job so that her husband can maintain his transsexual treatment under the city government’s liberal employee health-care plan. • In March, Fremont County (Mont.) officials passed a resolution prohibiting “the presence” of grizzly bears within the boundaries of the county. And in May, Magistrate Anurag Rastogi of the Gurgaon district near New Delhi, India, issued an order forbidding the assembly of four or more pigs. (Both the Montana resolution and the Indian order had other sections directed at any humans responsible for introducing the animals into public space, but the above provisions stand alone, seemingly directed at the animals themselves.) Least Competent Criminals • St. Petersburg, Fla., police arrested Calvin Calhoun, 25, Lavance Palmer, 22, and Kelvin Charles, 22, in July and charged them with using a stolen credit card in a ticket-scalping scheme. The men, from Miami, bought 180 Tampa Bay Devil Rays baseball tickets for a weekend series against the Seattle Mariners, intending to resell them, but there was almost no demand because attendance at Devil Rays’ games is among the poorest in the major leagues, and in fact there were 127,000 empty seats for the four games. Almost Rehabilitated • In April in Fayetteville, N.C., Shirley Brigman Turriff, 63, was sentenced to six years in prison for embezzling $1.1 million from the law firm for which she had been office manager (Anderson Johnson), which had hired her shortly after she had been convicted for embezzling from her first employer. Anderson Johnson was fully aware that she was an embezzler when it hired her because one of its lawyers had defended her in that earlier case. — Chuck Shepherd © United Press Syndicate

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M E T R O S P I R I T A U G 8 2 0 0 2

Brezsny's

Free Will Astrology ARIES (March 21-April 19)

To ease yourself into alignment with the astrological rhythms, give each of your two closest companions a gift. What kind of gift? It should fire up their ambitions, not appeal to their urges to be comfortable. It shouldn’t be a practical necessity or ho-hum consumer fetish, but rather an adult toy or provocative tool. It should be an imaginative boon they’ve been hesitant to ask for, an extravagantly beautiful thing that expands their selfimage, a surprising intervention that says, “I love the way you change me.”

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

Close your eyes and visualize yourself taking a walk in nature. Feel the resilient strength of your leg muscles and the touch of the air on your face. Take deep breaths as you quietly exult in the motion of your arms swinging rhythmically. Gaze slightly upward, taking in the far horizon and the sweep of the sky. Now imagine that at a certain point, the wind becomes noticeably stronger. Branches of nearby trees begin to wave, unleashing a rising whoosh. Instinctively, your heartbeat quickens. Your flesh prickles with a reflexive alertness. But of course there’s no danger. What you’re experiencing is a primal excitement at the growing energy around you; a heightened awareness of the sheer aliveness of the world. Everything I just described, Taurus, is a perfect metaphor for the turning point that will arrive this week.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

Many Geminis are almost too multi-talented for their own good. One of my friends is a fine actress, singer, dancer, and poet. Another has expertise in forestry, medieval music, grant-writing, city-planning, and graphic arts. They find it difficult to concentrate on just one field of endeavor because they can’t bring themselves to ignore the rest. As a result, they never get really polished at any one thing and have trouble earning a wage commensurate with their talent. If

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this describes your own fate even a little, Gemini, it’s now a favorable time to make a change. In the coming months it will be far less painful than usual — possibly even unexpectedly pleasurable — to commit yourself to a single path.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

Production should have already begun for the new crop of dramas due to be unveiled in September. To my chagrin, though, you haven’t even decided on the scripts yet! Better make your choices soon, Cancerian. Personally, I hope you pass up the story about the bright light who prostitutes her talent because she’s afraid of failing in her quest for her real dream. Ditto the show about the moody innocent who turns down a whirlwind journey and retreats full-time to his safe little cave. The best script, in my opinion, is the reality show in which the hero carries on a brave struggle to balance her security needs with her longings for adventure.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

I foresee a future when women will fill half of all leadership roles instead of 10 percent, when their earnings and time spent doing child care will equal men’s, when women’s orgasms are as frequent as men’s, and when a majority of guys understand that misogyny is hazardous to their own health. Until the coming of that glorious day, I urge all of you Leos, regardless of gender, to work with tender ingenuity as you stir up and flesh out female power. To do so will be especially rewarding in the coming weeks. Your intelligence, sex appeal and happiness will flourish in direct proportion.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Looks like the Season of a Million Emotions hasn’t wiped you out completely. Though it may be hard to tell because of the puddles of tears by your bed and the piles of ashes from your burnt offerings, you’ve managed to maintain a modicum of poise. I mean you’re not spitting into the wind and throwing stones at heaven while trying to dance naked on the roof

ACROSS

with a hangover, right? That in itself is a sign you’ve escaped a trap you’ve always been a sucker for in the past. I bet that if you can just hold on to your sanity for another eight days or so, you’ll finally graduate from the University of Senseless Pain, where you’ve been matriculating for way too long.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

You’re climaxing a phase of development that’s been unfolding for many moons. Soon you’ll be tying up loose ends and resolving unfinished business, and by October you’ll launch a whole new cycle. Now, while you’re basking here in the glow of your full bloom, you’d be wise to wrap things up with a flourish. What beauty do you want to leave behind as you depart from this era? What blessings will you bequeath to express your gratitude for all the formative experiences you’d had?

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

I predict you will soon win at least one of the following: a MacArthur “Genius Award,” a Congressional Medal of Honor, a blue ribbon from a local fair, a Nobel Prize, a report card with all A’s, an honorary degree from a major university, a plaque commemorating your service beyond the call of duty, or employee of the month. If for some reason my prediction doesn’t come true, you have cosmic permission to forge homemade versions of any of the above. You may also go down to the trophy store and buy yourself the biggest, shiniest trophy. Make sure you get it engraved with a title like “Supreme Champion Love God/Goddess” or “Tricky Master of Lush Wisdom” or “Deepest Feeler of the Year.”

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

One of the advantages of being an astrologer is that when I’m tired of being myself, I can easily take a vacation. My knowledge of the zodiac allows me to slip away from the claustrophobic confines of my own horoscope and impersonate other astrological configurations. Inevitably, I return from this sabbatical with a renewed love for the unique puzzle that is my innate personality. I recommend that you take a similar break in the coming week, Sagittarius. To get started, I dare you to follow the advice in at least three of the other signs’ horoscopes.

“down” 5 Org. for which Lennox Lewis was champion 8 Gliding dance step 14 Antiquing aid 15 Infinitesimal 16 Squat (down) 17 Like some natural forces 19 Flower tincture once used as a salve 20 Start of some advice 22 Queen Christina, e.g. 23 Vex 24 Advice, part 2 31 Historic period in metallurgy 35 Like some fashions

P A G O

E C R U

S C A L A

P E R I L

A D E P T

D E S K

O X E N

N E M O

D O O M S D A Y S F T D I X

S A L U S T A E S R O U P A G I R M A D E S

T R I T T

66 O.K.

37 Classic

Valentino role, with “the” 40 Diamond of records 41 Hollywood’s holy grail 43 Like a British sovereign 45 Advice, part 3 48 Athenian hub 49 Milan’s La ___ 54 End of the advice 59 Olympic sport 60 Author of the advice 61 Means of approach 62 ___ diet 63 First name in 1970’s tennis 64 Slipped (up) 65 S.F. hours

R O B B

I S E E

P E R J U C O R S A L E K I D D E N S E E B E L K E M E A C C A T H E R O O E Y

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

In second grade I got the best grades in my class and was extremely polite and well-behaved. That’s why my fellow students were shocked when I perfected the art of making farting noises by cupping my hand in my underarm and rapidly squeezing. I could do it so surreptitiously that my teacher never guessed the source. In retrospect, I regard this as a sign of great wisdom. It was a recognition that being good all the time can be dangerous to one’s mental health; that we all have a dark side that needs to be exercised now and then. I found a way to rebel against my glossy image without doing harm to myself or anyone else. Learn from my example, Aquarius. In the coming weeks, find or create a safe place for your evil twin to get its yayas out: something resembling a gym or playpen.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

Here are further signs that the apocalypse may have already occurred. 1. An environmental organization sent me five free Jennifer Lopez-themed refrigerator magnets as a promotion for their new ecological initiative. 2. A blind German psychic has announced that he can divine the future by fondling people’s naked butts. 3. Recent polls report that for a majority of Americans, vacations are exhausting and debilitating. 4. My mother just got her first toe ring and my dad casually announced he believes that “everyone is a performance artist.” 5. The Piscean tribe is finally ready to discover why there is a rowdy, regenerative power in proclaiming to the world, “I am empty of all hope and I don’t know anything!” — © Rob Brezsny You Can Call Rob Brezsny, day or night, for your Expanded Weekly Horoscope

1-900-950-7700

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE S W A Y

tree meets the ground is another magic symbol, along with the boundary where cloud and sky join, the double darkness where your shadow overlaps a friend’s shadow, and the sweet spiral time when night gives way to the dawn. In conclusion, Capricorn, you will tap into the ripest inspiration in the liminal areas; you’ll find the truths you need most wherever one web of mystery merges with another.

Where two tributaries of a river blend into one: That’s one of your power spots this week. Where the

36 Shenanigan

1 Lessen, with

New York Times Crossword Puzzle

S L A O K K E D K I N W A I P L S L A C K S

T A X I

A N O N

B I N G

N E G R O

A R M E D

P R E S S

U R A L

G E N A

H D T V

DOWN 1 Growing ___ 2 1973 resignee 3 Noted superhero portrayer 4 Went wrong 5 What some vets recall: Abbr. 6 Protein source 7 Irishman, e.g. 8 Soul transporter 9 The White Rabbit, notably 10 Union buster? 11 Record problem 12 It’s broken off 13 Part of B.C.E. 18 Low cards 21 Palindromic conjunction 25 Grp. of which Cuba is a member 26 “Get that away from me!” 27 Hall-of-Fame shortstop 28 Passage in Latin 29 Where Commodore Perry prevailed 30 Auction cry 31 Perspiration location 32 Blitz 33 Fungal spore sacs

$1.99 per minute • 18 & over • Touchtone phone required • C/S 612-373-9785 • www.freewillastrology.com/

14 17

42 46

40 44

48 54

49 56

Puzzle by James R. Leeds

34 Arctic cover-ups 47 She’s no 38 Causing

Venus

54 Bit of game play

55 Sacks skidding, maybe 50 Where Paradise 56 Alphabet is: Abbr. 39 Plop preceder quartet 51 Cub Scout 42 Attending group 57 Hunter and leader others 44 Basil-based 52 Pope of 682 58 Tiff topping 46 Took hold of, as

oysters

53 Seven-time

Emmy winner

59 It’s a hit in the

comics

Answers to clues in this puzzle are available by touch-tone phone: 1-900-285-5656. $1.20 per minute. Annual subscriptions are available for the best of Sunday crosswords from the last 50 years: 1-888-7-ACROSS. Online subscriptions: Today's puzzle and more than 2,000 past puzzles, nytimes.com/diversions ($19.95 a year). Crosswords for young solvers: The Learning Network, nytimes.com/learning/xwords.

41 M E T R O S P I R I T A U G 8 2 0 0 2

’ve been dating a great woman for about a month. We slept together on our second date (too soon, I know). On our next date, she admitted she’s seeing other guys, too. I was cool about this at first, but the longer we date, the more I feel like I’m being used. It’s like being told, “You’re the best thing going right now, but I think I could do better.” I feel like the dreaded “just friends” conversation is always lurking around the corner. (We haven’t had sex since that second date, despite some passionate moments.) Is it too early in the relationship to be thinking this way? How long should I let this continue? —Number Two Or Three There is of ten a striking difference between a municipal job interview and a first or second date — the presence of a bar tender. That’s if you’re relatively lucky in looking for love. If you aren’t, you may find yourself wondering whatever possessed you to go on a date when you could’ve volunteered to have major surgery without anesthetics or got ten in line to be strip-searched for early admission to hell. Then again, there are those rare evenings when life seems to take a break from trying to squash you under its boot like a flea. Maybe it’s your second date with some new woman. It occurs to you that you aren’t straining for the answers to the oral por tion of the civil service exam. In fact, you’re actually having fun. You look into her eyes. She looks into yours. Suddenly, the ear th moves, the Red Sea par ts, and Elvis motors out of the waves in a 1972 Cadillac conver tible, chauffeurdriven by Kur t Cobain. The nex t thing you know, The King and The Grunge King are standing on the bar, belting out “It’s Now Or Never.” Do you seize this magic moment (i.e., tear off each other’s clothes and fly like winged monkeys into the nearest bed), or do you dig for your calendar and try to reschedule it? This depends on what you think sex means (and what you think it doesn’t); whether you get that substantial nudity can, but doesn’t always, lead to his and hers monogrammed towels. Of course, conventional wisdom favors a busschedule approach to sex — a pre-set timetable for depar tures from the world of the clothed (including a substantial blackout period early in the relationship). “Going Greyhound” does

decrease the chance that your hormones will blow up in your face, blinding you to the dull questions ... for example: Outside the bedroom, exactly how compatible are, say, a cat tle rancher and an animal rights activist who not only refuses to eat meat, but marches regularly to protest random violence against let tuce? That said, if you do take the Greyhound approach, you’d bet ter pray that you don’t reschedule your nude fun for a night the magic decides to lock itself in its trailer and sulk. At the moment, you’re the one doing the sulking, perhaps because it’s hard to find a Band-Aid big enough to cover a grown man’s wounded ego. Yes, she slept with you. Yes, she is seeing other guys. It’s called DATING. Like those free trial-sized beauty products, it’s designed to help her decide whether her current brand is the best thing she’s got going for her ... or whether she can do bet ter. You can sit around gathering dust until she makes her decision, or you can do your par t to increase brand loyalty: Immediately discontinue that drab sad-sack, Mr. Self Pity, and turn over his shelf space to Mr. Fun.

What’s up with married men? They make a game of pursuing single women. They chase us, charm us, and even “fall in love” with us. We run straight into the lion’s den. Then, poof! — they decide they want to stay married. They go back to their families like nothing happened. They had their cake and ate it, too! Can you explain why this happens over and over? —Left Again The 21st century has already proved itself an era of great discoveries. Take the star tling revelation by a New York City man that McDonald’s hamburgers and Wendy’s fries are not composed of green beans and boiled cabbage. Your big bombshell — that married men aren’t exactly available — isn’t far behind. Your big problem is where you’re pointing your blame finger — at them, not at you — which is about as effective a deterrent as banging your head on the wall and blaming the wall. Once you get your finger issues straight, do delve into the question of having one’s cake and eating it, too. I’ve seen some at tractive gateau in my time, but none I want sit ting around shriveling for a few decades before I drop it on a plate and serve it to company. — © 2002, Amy Alkon

Got A Problem? Write Amy Alkon 171 Pier Ave., Box 280 • Santa Monica, CA 90405 or e-mail AdviceAmy@aol.com

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42 M E T R O S P I R I T A U G 8

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———————————————— 1995 DODGE NEON red, 2dr, auto, A/C $2800 706-541-1188 (73/912) ———————————————— 1995 PONTIAC FIREBIRD formula, convertible, new tires, new top, tilt, all bells & whistles, white, 706-231-4204 (78/912) ———————————————— 1995 PONTIAC FIREBIRD formula, convertible, red with white top and interior, loaded, 51K original miles, $12,500 706-231-4204 (79/912) ———————————————— 1996 HONDA ACCORD LX, 4dr, auto, gold, PW, PL, cruise, tilt, just $6995 Gerald Jones Honda 706-733-2210 (32/815) ———————————————— 1996 HONDA CIVIC 2dr, EX, auto, roof, black, great for back to school $6995 Gerald Jones Honda 706-7332210 (22/815) ———————————————— 1997 ACURA TL 2.5 premium, all options, 120K, near perfect, 28 mpg, $11,000 706-863-7021 (20/912) ———————————————— 1997 AUDI A-4 black/black, Bose stereo-CD changer, 5spd, sunroof, all power, GC $8995 OBO 803-613-1496 (14/912) ———————————————— 1997 BUICK LESABRE leather, burgundy, V-6, fully loaded, one owner, $7,995 Gerald Jones Honda 706-7332210 (27/815) ———————————————— 1997 DODGE INTREPID V6, 4dr, auto, 80K, one owner, $6000 OBO 706-792-9708 (74/912) ———————————————— 1997 DODGE NEON auto, air, am/fm, 95K, great student car, $3500 706650-8550 or 706-564-1157 (13/912) ———————————————— 1997 SATURN SL1 black, 5spd, 56K, 4dr, dual airbags, ABS, CD/fm, w/4 speakers, XC, smells new, $5500 706564-3735 (81/912) ———————————————— 1998 ACURA LEGEND L, white, very clean, XC, leather seats, Bose Sound, SR, loaded, must sell $9600 OBO 803-270-3145 (82/912) ———————————————— 1998 HONDA ACCORD silver/grey, 4dr, 5spd, A/C, tilt, alloys, CD, highway miles. Looks/runs like new. Must sell! $9500 706-210-1850 (12/912) ———————————————— 1998 HONDA CIVIC LX, 4dr, auto, great price $8995 Gerald Jones Honda 706-733-2210 (30/815) ———————————————— 1998 VW BEETLE GL, 2dr $13,750 Gerald Jones Select 706-733-1035 (44/815) ———————————————— 1999 CADILLAC CATERA leather, dark grey, chrome rims, roof, very clean, won’t last $16,495 Gerald

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grey leather, roof, chrome rims, super charger, make offer Gerald Jones Honda 706-733-2210 (28/815) ———————————————— 2000 MITSUBISHI GALANT 4dr, $13,750 Gerald Jones Select 706733-1035 (36/815) ———————————————— 2000 MUSTANG GT Coupe, XC, 27K, 5spd, am/fm/cass/CD, leather seats, cruise, all power, adult owned, $16,000 firm call anytime. 706-6501971 (66/912) ———————————————— 2000 PONTIAC GRAND Prix GPT, CD, chrome rims, leather, super charger, 4dr, 20K miles $16,995 Gerald Jones Honda 706-733-2210 (26/815) ———————————————— 2000 VW BEETLE GL, coupe $14,900 Gerald Jones Select 706733-1035 (46/815) ———————————————— 2000 VW JETTA 43K, excellent condition, new tires, cruise, A/C, PS, PW, security sys., one owner, $13,000 706-799-0544 (71/912) ———————————————— 2001 DAEWOO LEGANZA 4dr, $9520 Gerald Jones Select 706-7331035 (37/815) ———————————————— 2001 FORD TAURUS SE, 6 to choose from $12,400 Bobby Jones Ford 706738-8000 (59/815) ———————————————— 2001 HONDA ACCORD EX, 2dr, auto, silver, low miles, 7yr/100,000 mi. warranty, only $19,295 Gerald Jones Honda 706-733-2210 (31/815) ———————————————— 2001 VOLVO V40 Wagon $22,900 Gerald Jones Select 706-733-1035 (47/815) ———————————————— 2001 VW JETTA GLS, sedan $17,810 Gerald Jones Select 706-733-1035

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continued on page 44

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44 continued from page 42 M E T R O S P I R I T A U G 8 2 0 0 2

———————————————— 1996 HONDA PASSPORT LX, 4x4, PW, PL, white, just traded $7995 Gerald Jones Honda 706-733-2210 (23/815) ———————————————— 1997 FORD EXPLORER XLT, V-8, all power, am/fm, cass, dual A/C, keyless entry, PS, 945 A pkg. $9980 Bobby Jones Ford 706-738-8000 (49/815) ———————————————— 1997 FORD EXPLORER sport, V-6, auto, all power, dual A/C, tilt, cruise, m/r, am/fm, cass/CD, d. green $8995 706-860-0860 (76/912) ———————————————— 1998 HONDA PASSPORT 4dr $12,200 Gerald Jones Select 706733-1035 (42/815) ———————————————— 1999 FORD EXPLORER FXLT, factory warranty, CD, keyless remote, alloy wheels, $14,990 Andy Jones Mazda 803-279-2366 (07/815) ————————————————

1999 FORD EXPLORER XLT, rear A/C, tilt, 37K miles, 6yr/75,000 powertrain warranty $15,980 Bobby Jones Ford 706-738-8000 (54/815) ———————————————— 1999 JEEP GRAND Cherokee Laredo, $17,450 Gerald Jones Select 706-733-1035 (38/815) ———————————————— 2000 FORD EXPLORER XLS, PW, PL, tilt, cruise, am/fm/cass/CD, A/C, 6yr/75,000 mile powertrain warranty $16,890 Bobby Jones Ford 706-7388000 (52/815) ———————————————— 2001 FORD ESCAPE auto, stereo CD, all power options, alloys, running boards $16,995 Bobby Jones Ford 706-738-8000 (61/815) ———————————————— 2001 FORD EXPLORER Sport, all power features, CD, auto $15,990 Andy Jones Mazda 803-279-8830 (02/815) ———————————————— 2001 FORD SPORT Trac silver, all options, better than new, 1200 miles

w/many added accessories $24,900 706-868-9519 (65/915) ———————————————— 2001 SUZUKI XL7 4dr, 4x4, V-6, silver, fully loaded $16,995 Gerald Jones Honda 706-733-2210 (25/815) ———————————————— 2002 CHEVY BLAZER auto, V-6, all power $17,990 Andy Jones Mazda 803-279-9264 (05/815) ———————————————— 2002 CHEVY BLAZER auto, V-6, loaded $17,990 Andy Jones Mazda 803-202-1307 (06/815)

Trucks 1994 CHEVY S-10 lowrider, rims, CD, manual transmission, white, brake lights, flowmaster, 75K $4500 706868-5110 (69/912) ———————————————— 1994 MAZDA B3000 A/C, PS, PB, am/fm, 129K, green/beige, immaculate cond., 803-557-4974 or 803-6426976 (67/912)

———————————————— 1998 FORD RANGER XLT 4x4, only 28k miles, stereo cass., auto, A/C, very clean $12,900 Bobby Jones Ford 706-738-8000 (58/815) ———————————————— 1998 MAZDA PICK Up low miles, green, one owner, $6995 Gerald Jones Honda 706-733-2210 (35/815) ———————————————— 1999 FORD F-150 s/c, XLT, V-8, auto, PW, PL, tilt, cruise 30K miles, 6yr/75,000 mile powertrain warranty $17,750 Bobby Jones Ford 706-7388000 (51/815) ———————————————— 1999 FORD F -250 XLT, reg. cab, V-8, auto, PW, PL, A/C, am/fm cass, $16,850 Bobby Jones Ford 706-7388000 (50/815) ———————————————— 2000 FORD LIGHTNING Only 16K miles, Ford SVT vehicle, like new $26,995 Bobby Jones Ford 706-7388000 (63/815) ———————————————— 2001 CHEVY 1500 X-cab $23,625

Gerald Jones Select 706-733-1035 (43/815) ———————————————— 2001 DODGE DAKOTA Sport Ext. Cab, V-6, all power, 6-disc CD changer $13,990 Andy Jones Mazda 803279-1209 (03/815) ———————————————— 2001 GMC Z71 loaded, leather, auto, bedliner, white, $24,990 Andy Jones Mazda 803-279-9143 (08/815) ———————————————— 2002 GMC SONOMA Flareside, 4dr, auto, V-6, alloy wheels, CD, $13,990 Andy Jones Mazda 803-202-0002 (01/815) ———————————————— 2002 TOYOTA TACOMA SR5, X-Cab, loaded, only 3K miles, like new, $17,495, Gerald Jones Honda 706733-2210 (21/815)

Place Your Automotive Ad Online at

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Come See Andy Jones Mazda Isuzu for Your Used Car Needs! SPORT UTILITIES 99 Toyota Rav-4 #250 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $10,990 99 Isuzu Amigo #323 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $12,990 00 Kia Sportage #327 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $10,990 01 Kia Sportage #173 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $13,590 02 Chevy Blazer #332 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $18,990 00 Jeep Cherokee #189 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $16,990 01 Ford Explorer Sport #315 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $15,990 99 Ford Explorer #316 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $15,990 01 Isuzu Rodeo #248 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $17,990 97 Isuzu Rodeo #2322-A . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $10,990 98 Isuzu Rodeo #303-A . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $14,990 00 Toyota 4-Runner #7063-A. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $17,990 01 Mazda Tribute #6989-A . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $17,990 01 Mazda Tribute #7042-A . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $14,990 99 Ford Expedition #311 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $18,990

CARS, TRUCKS & VANS 02 GMC Sonoma #351 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $14,990 00 Chevy Silverado #341 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $13,990 02 Pontiac Montana #344 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $18,990 00 Chevy S-10 #271 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $9,990 01 Dodge Dakota #309 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $13,990 01 Chevy Z-71 #217 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $24,990 02 Dodge Intrepid #328 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $15,990 00 Chevy Impala #305 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $13,990 01 Ford Taurus #266 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $13,990 98 Toyota Camry #7071-A . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $9,990 02 Mitsubishi Galant #306 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $15,990

ANDY JONES MAZDA ISUZU 803-202-0002

Looking to Buy or Sell an Automobile?

SEE PAGE 43 FOR MORE DETAILS

Classifieds

45 M E T R O

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S P I R I T A U G 8

Mind, Body & Spirit

Pets

Alt. Lifestyles

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LOST CAT Gray/white striped shor t haired Long tail, crooked at end. Spayed, fat, named“Gracie” Lost near Wrightsboro/Sweethear t Cup 736-7892, 731-5084 or 267-9444 (8/8#7765)

THE COLISEUM

Art Instruction MOSAIC CLASSES Join the fun, learn the ar t of mosaic! Two-day Workshops. $125.00 Schedule: 8/17 & 8/18; 9/14 & 9/15. Call Heather 481-0789. Sign up early, small classes. (08/08#7744)

Employment Experienced climbers needed We are a fast growing full service tree company that needs climbers experienced in cabling, pruning, take downs, and lightning protection installation. Good salary plus benefits package that include sick days, vacation, paid holidays, Christmas bonus, etc. Call for an interview (706) 854-0926 or email resume to empiretree@hotmail.com (08/08#7759)

“Augusta School Of Massage Inc. is now accepting applications for day & evening classes. Ask how to receive a free massage table!”

Augusta School of

MASSAGE, I . NC

733-2040

INC. 500 Environmental Company Seeking Managers & Representatives Call 1-866-614-3395 (08/08#7766)

Advertise your Yard Sale in The Metro Spirit Classifieds!

Gentle Hands Experience the most soothing full body therapeutic massage. Given in a tranquil yet friendly environment. Facials are available. 803-441-0001 (08/08#7768)

Mrs. Graham Psychic TELLS ALL Advises on Past, Present & Future

Equipment High Quality • Low Prices WOLFF TANNING BEDS Payments From $25/month Home Delivery FREE Color Catalog Call Today 1-888-839-5160 www.np.etstan.com (06/20#7606)

Specializing in Love Affairs

733-5851 NEW LOCATION

341 South Belair Rd Off I-20 Next to the New Food Lion

Full Body Massage! Therapeutic tension relief, intense or tender touch, rela xing music, aromatherapy, by appointment only - $49.00/hr. Call Joy - 771-9470 or John - 474-1314 (10/10#7750)

L❤ve & Light HEALING CENTER HYPNOSIS WORKS! Stop

Fri. 8/9

Miss Dianne Chanel

Metropolitan Community Church of Our Redeemer A Christian Church reaching to all: including Gay, Lesbian, and Transgendered Christians. Meeting at 311 Seventh Street, 11 am and 7 pm each Sunday. 722-6454 MCCAugusta@aol.com

Ravionne Coming Soon:

www.mccaugustaga.homestead.com/home.html

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Professional Massage Friendly experienced male. Stress relief for healthy men 18 - 45. All hotel clients $40/hr. Out or hotel calls only. 706-739-9139 (08/08#7763)

Thur. 8/8

High Energy Dance DJ Hawk

Religion

3512 1/2 Wheeler Road, Augusta • Near the Family Y

Business Opportunities SILVER@HOME Sterling silver jewelry company needs reps. for catalog sales Work from home!! 25% Commissions!! 706.738.7387 (7/25#7727)

Call today for details!

Hot High Energy Dance Music And Laser Light Show

Talk Line VEGAS XXX TALK! Luscious Sin City Girls! ** Live One on One ** CHEAP 66¢ to $1 per minute Choose the Model you want Unrestricted 24 hrs. 18+ 1-702-216-3500 CC/Checks accepted A-10 (11/14#7721)

Travel

Sat. 8/10 Sat. 8/24

Hot Male Strippers International Male

1632 Walton Way • Augusta, GA

706-733-2603 • www.ColiseumAugusta.com

Marlboro Station Where the Party Never Stops! EVERY THURSDAY Talent Night $1.00 Beer FRIDAY & SATURDAY Show Night w/ Special Guests SUNDAY NIGHT Starlight Cabaret w/ Claire Storm & Lauren Alexander Wed-Fri 8pm-5am Sat 8pm-3am; Sun 8pm-5am 141 Marlboro Street, Aiken • 803-644-6485 w w w.marlboro.4mg.net 18 to Party • 21 to Drink

CSRA Swingers Saturday August 10th Couples - $65.00 Single Ladies - $25.00 Single Men - $75.00 Call, e-mail or write P.O. Box 540, Augusta, GA 30903 for event details 706-394-7256 or CSRAswingers@aol.com (08/08#7760)

Smoking Lose Weight

Wheels

Get Answers Angel Harp Therapy Reiki Classes 1, 2 & 3

Betty L❤ ve, CHT Intuitive Counselor 2477 Wrightsboro Rd.

733-4187 ❤ 733-8550

Drink Specials: Wed - $7 Wet N' Wild Fri & Sat - $9 All You Can Drink Draft Sat - $2 Bud/Bud Light Hot Dog Buffet $2.99 Open Mon-Fri 7pm-3am Sat 7pm-2:30am Fri & Sat. No Cover Before 10 p.m.

Dead Bodies Wanted

We want your dead junk or scrap car bodies. We tow away and for some we pay. 706/829-2676

706/798-9060

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2 0 0 2

46 M E T R O S P I R I T

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A U G

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2 0 0 2

OPEN-MINDED Fun-loving, humorous SF, 18, 5’4”, blond/ blue, likes shopping, clubbing, sports. Seeking SM for friendship and casual dating. ☎589903 READY FOR LOVE AGAIN Widowed WF, 45, 5’5”, blonde, 130, marriage minded, no rocking chair for me, let’s go! Seeking SWM, 45-65, that is ready for LTR. ☎569448 PECAN TAN SF, 34, 5’3’’, 145lbs, looking for a kind, caring, and sweet man, 25-45, who can be my friend first. ☎581256 SENSE OF HUMOR REQUIRED SF, 33, 5’, full-figured, cocoa complexion, looking for friendship leading to relationship with SM, 25-40, who doesn’t play games. ☎579505 MAKE MY HEART LAUGH SBF, 22, 5’8”, 155lbs, part-time student, seeks sensual, kind man with a great heart, for movies, dining out, and open-minded conversation. ☎565120 CHRISTIAN MAN WANTED SBF, 39, great sense of humor, great listener, desires a mate who possesses similar skills to enjoy various interests such as conversation, walks and Christian activities. Friendship first. ☎564814 INTERRACIAL SBF, 23, 5’8”, 140lbs, one daughter. Seeking honest and trustworthy SWM, 23-37, great body, great eyes, good personality. ☎566526 LOVE AND SHARE SWF, 45, N/S, mother of two, dog lover, seeks monogamous WM, 35-60, N/S, for friendship first, possible LTR. ☎566590 SEEKING FRIENDSHIP SBM, mother of two, self-sufficient, 5’1”, 128lbs, seeks trustworthy, romantic SM for casual friendship, dating, possibly more. ☎574955 CHRISTIAN WOMAN Intelligent, sexy SBF, 28, 5’6”, 135lbs, entrepreneur, educated, enjoys fishing, Jesus, dancing, working out, poetry, theater. Seeking SW/BCM, 26-38, for possible LTR. ☎570636 SWEET STRAWBERRY-BLONDE Kind, loving SWF, 28, strawberry-blonde, 5’7”, 196lbs, enjoys dining, movies, traveling, music. Seeking honest, responsible, kind, loving SWM, 28-35. Must like kids. ☎564951 SIMILAR INTERESTS? SWF, 50, enjoys the outdoors. Seeking WM, 51-61, 5’8”+, friendship first, possible LTR. ☎567446 TIME TO HAVE A BLAST Honest SWF, 43, enjoys spending time with my daughter, bowling, dining out, Nascar, movies, baseball games, camping. Seeking honest, genuine SWM, 43-50, for fun and friendship. ☎554752 SEEKS GENTLEMAN SWF, 29, 5’11”, 145lbs, enjoys outdoors, dining, movies, bowling and quiet evenings at home. Seeking honest SM, 29-39, for LTR. ☎550425 ARE YOU THE ONE? College educated SWF, early 40s, 5’6”, 136lbs, extroverted, enjoys camping, country living, animals, movies, traveling. Seeking same in SWM, 40-50, similar interests. ☎965910 MATURE MAN DBF, very spiritual, caring, honest, friendly, intelligent, romantic, physically fit, stable. Seeking BM, 37-45, spiritual, stable, and honest, for LTR. ☎965912

MAKE SOMEONE HAPPY SWF, 5’7”, red hair, green eyes, full-figured, 34, good-looking, clean, sociable, enjoys quiet times, sewing, movies, cooking. Seeking SM, 32-43. ☎965879 LETS TALK SWF, 58, dark/blue, 135, seeks WM, 55-62, for LTR. ☎552267 FULL FIGURED SWF, 25, enjoys animals, bowling, diningout, movies. Seeking WM, 20-39, for LTR. No games. ☎559564 ABSOLUTE ALTRUISM SBF, 42, 5’7”, 1205lbs, seeks emotionally secure gentleman, 35+, with honor, wit, and wisdom. ☎605946 START AS FRIENDS SF, 33, likes reading, writing poetry, fishing, travel. Looking for a man who needs a nice woman in his life. ☎579852 LONELY WOMAN SBF, 32, single mom, seeks SWPM, quality military man who has old-fashioned values, financially secure, for LTR. ☎591885 WAITING TO HAPPEN DWF, 45, 5’4”, brown/green, likes sports, music, dining out. Seeking serious, honest, hardworking SWM, 40-55. ☎965902 BE HONEST SF, 60, enjoys good conversations, going to Church, yard sales, music. Seeking SM, 5070, N/S, likes to go to Church. ☎965856 TABLE FOR TWO SWF, 57, 5’4”, blond/green, easygoing, outgoing, enjoys cooking, fishing, reading, NASCAR. Seeking honest, respectful S/DWM, 57-65. ☎965851 MILITARY MAN WANTED Full-figured SBF, 26, attracted to a man in uniform, seeking SWM, 25-45, who’s currently serving in the military. ☎605045 THAT GIRL DWF, 39, brown/brown, attractive, financially secure, enjoys travel, loves to be spoiled. Seeking WM, 36-50. ☎965911 LET’S GET TOGETHER SWF, 45, 5’5”, blonde/green, smoker, enjoys dancing, movies, dining out, reading, beach, mountains, up for anything. Seeking SWM, 40-49, similar interests. ☎965901 NEEDLE IN HAYSTACK BF, 42, 5’6”, long silky black hair, attractive, voluptuous, sociable, educator, enjoys computers, walks, movies, singing, instruments. Seeking serious-minded, fun-loving SM, 4060. ☎965878 NO GAMES!! SBF, 33, N/S, full-figured, enjoys reading, long drives, the outdoors. Seeking caring, understanding SBM, 25-38. ☎965855 WHERE ARE YOU? SBF, 29, 5’3”, likes going to church, reading, sports. Seeking SBM, 28-35, with similar interests, to get to know better. ☎965850 WE SHOULD MEET SWF, 30, 5’5”, full-figured, shy, into movies, reading, intelligent conversation, basketball. Seeking SM, 28-39, confident, for friendship. ☎965909 GIVE ME A CALL SWF, 50, looking for friendship, possible LTR with SWM, 48-53. ☎965917 BEING YOURSELF SBF, 27, N/S, 5’6”, 180lbs, brown/brown, open-minded, fun-loving, enjoys bowling, poetry, movies, quiet evenings. Seeking strong-minded SBM, 26-39. ☎965916 MUCH MORE!! SWF, 32, 5’3”, full-figured, reddish/brown hair, brown eyes, enjoys swimming, poetry, horseback riding, shooting pool. Seeking secure, respectful SWM, 29-49. ☎965914 SOMEONE JUST FOR ME DWPF, 44, 5’5”, 135lbs, very pretty, ethereal, enjoys gardening, reading, working, animals. Seeking SCM, 40-50, with similar interests. ☎965913

THE TWO OF US Beautiful, romantic SBF, 39, 5’6”, long black hair, enjoys swimming, ballgames, dancing, singing, movies. Seeking outgoing, clever SBM, 40-60. ☎965908 UNDER THE STARS SWF, 52, enjoys fishing, dancing, spending time with grand children. Seeking SWM, 5058, to spend quality time with. ☎965906 SLIM GUYS ONLY Reserved, shy DWF, 54, 5’, 154lbs, enjoys travel, Murphy, NC area, country music. Seeking tall, slim white country boy, 50+. Call! ☎965905 TAKE MY BREATH AWAY Hard-working WF, 38, 5’4”, 100lbs, brown/ brown, enjoys biking, watersports, cooking, and travel. Seeking WM, 35-50, for possible LTR. ☎965904 WORTH YOUR WHILE Friendly, easygoing, laid-back SWF, 20, 5’5”, 150lbs, brown/blue, loves music, dancing, horseback riding. Seeking SWM, 22-26. ☎965903 SEEKING MILITARY MAN Down-to-earth SF, 39, drug-free, seeks military SM, 28-42, in good shape, knows what he wants in life, for fun and LTR. ☎965899 ALL THIS AND MORE SWF, 33, 5’3”, 125lbs, green-eyed redhead, affectionate, ambitious, student, enjoys travel, sporting events. Seeking SM, 30-43, honest, friendly, intelligent, family-oriented. ☎965897 ARE YOU THE ONE? SWF, early 40s, college-educated, 5’6”, 136lbs, extrovert, enjoys camping, country living, animals, movies, traveling. Seeking same in SWM, 40-50, similar interests. ☎965894 STRONG WILL SBF, 45, outgoing, attractive, youthful, enjoys writing, music, traveling. Seeking mature, strong-willed SBM, 35-48, for friendship. ☎965893 CAREER-MINDED SWF, 30, 5’6”, blonde/blue, 135lbs, enjoys golf, tennis, music, outdoors, traveling, dining. Seeking SWPM, 27-36, for friendship. ☎965892 NO GAMES PLEASE Hazel-eyed brunette DWCF, 47, 5’7”, enjoys nature, cooking, movies, reading. Seeking SCM, 47-55, honest, financially secure, friends first, possible LTR. ☎965891 BE REAL Friendly SHF, 43, N/S, 5’6”, 160lbs, enjoys walks, gardening and more. Seeking sincere SWM, 40-51. No games please. ☎965896 LET’S BE FRIENDS SBF, 21, new in town, 5’8”, 195lbs, enjoys movies, music, long walks and more. Seeking SBM, 20-30, for friendship first. ☎965895

We Purchase Fine Swiss Watches, Estate Jewelry and Diamonds.

Monday-Saturday 10am-9pm 2635 Washington Road | Augusta, Georgia 30904 | 706.738.7777 www.windsorjewelers.net @I’M IN CALIFORNIA Caribbean beauty, black, 40, college educated, designer, enjoys fine dining, theatre, classical music. Seeking up-scale WM, 45+, long-distance relationship/maybe more. ☎965900

DOWN AND OUT SBPM, 50, 5’8”, 190lbs, enjoys sports, travel, the city and more. Seeking nice WPF, 3545, N/S, to enjoy each others company. ☎599875 LETS HAVE DINNER Honest, caring, considerate SWM, 42, 5’7”, 150lbs, enjoys cuddling, romance and more. Seeking compassionate WF, 32-45, N/S, for LTR. ☎595934 LONELY AND WIDOWED SWM, 58, seeks nice, caring, understanding WF, 45-60, N/S, for quality times and friendship. Let’s fill each others life with joy and happiness. ☎599636 IN SEARCH OF TRUE LOVE WM, 40, 5’7’’, 140lbs, very loving, affectionate, passionate, caring, honest, sincere, with great personality, seeks open-minded female, 20-40, who knows the meaning of true love and commitment. ☎579693 LOOKING FOR LTR SM, 41, 5’10’’, likes playing basketball, chess, long walks, picnics. Would like to meet a woman who has the same interests. ☎594412

THE EYES OF THE BEHOLDER SM, 46, 5’10”, 200lbs, likes sports, chess, movies, quiet walks and evenings, socializing. Seeking mature, full-figured SWF with inner and outer beauty. ☎590295 LAID-BACK SBM, 22, seeks cool, laid-back, open-minded SBF, 20-25, N/S, for friendship and possibly more. ☎571587 THE FUTURE IS WIDE OPEN SWM, 38, works in construction, enjoys movies, sports, hiking, mountains, camping. Looking for serious relationship with SF, 3060. ☎578727 VERY ROMANTIC SWM, 53, loves beaches, outdoors, sports, flea markets. Seeking a woman who can be honest and would appreciate a one-woman man. ☎576845 NOT A JOCK 5’11”, 40, brown/blue, 200lbs, handsome, intelligent, business owner, part-time chef, some real estate, enjoys making money, traveling, jazz, rock. Seeking beautiful, broad minded, peace-loving woman, 25-35, no Nascar please. ☎570889 AUTHOR SWM, 29, 5’11”, 198lbs, published writer, cook, enjoys reading, writing, movies, intelligent conversation. Seeking slender, intelligent, loving WF, 25-33, who likes kids. ☎565627 WATCH THE SUNRISE SBM, 25, 6’9”, 225lbs, has a wide variety of interests. Seeking outgoing, sweet, caring SF, 20-39, for friendship and possibly more. ☎965987 ROMANCE IS ALIVE DWPM, 56, educated, cultured, seeks WF for LTR and romantic adventure. I’m very athletic, musical, 5’10”, muscular build, good, patient listener. ☎965984

Stud Finder YOU HAVE 6 NEW MATCHES

Mobile Dating. The easiest way to meet great people.

GUIDELINES: DATE MAKER ads are for adults 18 or over seeking monogamous relationships. To ensure your safety, carefully screen all responses. First meetings should occur in a public place. Abbreviations are permitted only to indicate gender preference, race, and religion. We suggest your ad contain a self-description, age range, lifestyle and avocations. Ads and voice messages containing explicit sexual language will not be accepted. This publication reserves the right to revise copy containing objectionable phrases; to reject in its sole discretion, any advertisement on account of its text. This publication assumes no responsibility for the content or reply to any DATE MAKER ad. The advertiser assumes complete liability for the content and all replies to any advertisement or recorded message and for any claims made against this publication and its agents as a result thereof. The advertiser agrees to indemnify and hold this publication, its employees and its agents harmless from all costs, expenses (including reasonable attorney fees), liabilities and damages resulting from or caused by the publication or recording placed by the advertiser or any reply to any such advertisement. By using DATE MAKER, the advertiser agrees not to leave his/her phone number, last name or address in his/her voice greeting. Not all boxes contain a voice greeting.

ABBREVIATIONS

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M B D F H C LTR

Male Black Divorced Female Hispanic Christian Long-term Relationship

G W A S J P N/D N/S

Gay White Asian Single Jewish Professional Non-Drinker Non-smoker

Become a member of Augusta’s hottest new way to meet singles! Call today!

To become a member, call 1-888-223-7044 To listen and respond to ads, call 1-900-226-8908 Calls cost $1.99 per min., Must be 18+.

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To respond to ads using a MAKE YOUR MOVE Laid-back SBM, 41, 6’1”, clean cut, medium build, enjoys church, dining, beaches, shopping, reading, sports. Seeking soulmate. ☎965968 THAT SPECIAL LADY SWM, 60, easygoing, 5’8”, 160lbs, hardworking, secure. Seeking SCF, 35-55, N/S, for LTR. ☎965967 A LITTLE TLC DWM, 47, hardworking, secure, seeks SWF, 35-46, who wants a LTR. ☎965966 TO THE POINT SWM, 47, 5’10”, 190lbs, outgoing. Seeking attractive SWF, 30-47, for LTR. ☎965965 LET’S MEET Shy SWM, 32, 5’9”, 221lbs, brown hair, enjoys bowling, ballgames. Seeking honest, friendly, caring SWF, 22-40. ☎966028 THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE SBM, 30, 5’11”, medium-built, clean-cut, no children, N/S, N/D, seeks SF, good-hearted, good-natured, down-to-earth, looking for relationship, maybe more. ☎965964

OUTGOING SEEKS SAME SM, 35, who enjoys gardening, working out, sports, fishing, long walks in the park, would like to meet an outgoing man for LTR. ☎594617 YOUNG MAN WANTED GWM, 22, brown/brown, pretty good-looking, in search of cute, down-to-earth GWM for movies, dinners, shopping, roller blading. ☎576230 DOCTOR FIX IT GBM, enjoys chess, racquetball, auto mechanic. Seeking WM with similar interests. ☎566315 LONELY HEART Hard-working, DWF, 41, 5’5”, 234lbs, brown/ blue, enjoys conversation, music, poetry, cuddling. Seeking DWM 38-42, who still dreams of that one true love. ☎563879 OUT SPOKEN SWM, 32, 5’11”, 145lbs, enjoys camping, fishing, Nascar. Seeking laid-back WM, 2335, for LTR. ☎560095 SEEKING MAN OF COLOR GWM, 31, 5’8”, 164lbs, brown/gray, moustache, goatee, down-to-earth, very openminded, seeks SB/HM, 23+, for friendship, maybe more. ☎575272 GUY SWEET TALK SWM, 6’2”, 240lbs, brown/blue, 52, dating first, possible relationship, enjoys walking, hand holding and talks. Seeking SWM, 3040, with feelings. ☎966007 BEYOND SWM, 32, 5’11”, 155lbs, light hair, looking for good time with GM, 18-45, ☎966003 YOU NEVER KNOW Fun-loving, easygoing GWM, 51, 5’11”, 200lbs, enjoys cooking, movies, fishing, walking. Seeking interesting GWM, 18-33, who’s full of life. ☎966036 WAITING FOR THE ONE GWM, 18, 6’, 130lbs, blond hair, likes long walks, horseback riding. Seeking GWM, 1820, with similar interest. ☎966002 NEED SOMEONE SPECIAL In your life? SBM, 46 young, 5’5”, 125lbs, old-fashioned, seeks sincere SM, 23-35, special friend and conversation. Let’s talk. ☎965995 WARM AND LOVING GWM, 18, 5’8”, 145lbs, blue eyes, outgoing, friendly, loves shopping, arts & crafts, photography. Seeking GM, 18-45, for a committed relationship. ☎966034 TRY NEW THINGS SWM, 45, outgoing, sociable, open-minded, enjoys fishing, golfing, reading, quiet times. Seeking SM, 25-45, for friendship, possibly more. ☎966017

How do you

NEW TO TOWN GWM, 31, 5’8”, 175lbs, brown/brown, masculine, country boy, passionate, dedicated, HIV positive. Seeking GWM, 30-45, for LTR. ☎966013 ARE YOU READY? SWM, 42, 5’7”, 160lbs, blue-eyed, athletic, outgoing, enjoys quiet evenings. Seeking SWM, 21-55, adventurous, for casual times. ☎966012 BE MY TEDDYBEAR Athletic SBM, 23, college student, enjoys basketball. Seeking heavyset SWM, 35-48. ☎966035 MAKE IT HAPPEN SBM, 32, 5’11”, adventurous, likable, likes drawing, more. Seeking SAM, 18-35, respectful, fun-loving, for LTR. ☎966031 QUIET TIMES Well-built SWM, 48, enjoys hiking, movies, dining out, beach walks. Seeking SWM, 3540, for intimate relationship. ☎966030 SPECIAL SOMEONE Open-minded GWM, 38, seeks GWM, 3050, for LTR. ☎966021 ARE YOU MR. RIGHT? SWM, 51, 5’8’’, 150lbs, likes dining out, quiet evenings, walks and hugs. Seeking SWM, 2035, slim build, with similar interests. ☎584644 WHAT DO YOU WANT? SWM, 31, 5’8”, 175lbs, masculine, muscular, passionate, dedicated, open, enjoys simple things, time with friends. Seeking SWM, 30-45, for LTR. ☎966019 NICE Outgoing, nice SBM, 31, 5’8”, 153lbs, seeks sexy SBM, 25-39, ☎966022 GIVE LOVE; GET LOVE BACK SM, 35, 6’2’’, 190lbs, black hair, medium build, seeks understanding, achieved man who is escalating himself in life. ☎576303 AWAITING YOUR CALL Outgoing SWM, 38, likes drinking, playing pool. Seeking fun-loving SWM, 25-45, for good times, future commitment. ☎966032 GET TO KNOW ME SBM, 30, N/S, enjoys having a good time. Seeking SBM, 20-40. ☎966018 GET TOGETHER GHM, 30, 5’6”, 165lbs, extroverted, enjoys sports, movies, walks, cuddling. Seeking outgoing GWM, 25-35, for friendship. ☎966016 MELODY OF LOVE WM, 40, 6’, 185lbs, enjoys sports, swimming, cycling and movies. Seeking WM, 2550, to spend time with. ☎966015 FRIENDSHIP Or companionship. BM, 26, 5’8”, father, not into playing games, enjoys quiet walks. Seeking male, 21-35. ☎966014 LIVES THE MOMENT GWM, 51, romantic, adventurous, younglooking, 5’10”, 165lbs, likes quiet evenings, movies. Seeking SWM, 35-50, sincere, blond preferably, fit. ☎966011 SIMILAR COMPLEX BPM, 37, enjoys going out, movies, shopping, quiet evenings. Seeking GBM, 35-40, who’s real, down-to-earth, knows what they want. ☎966010

ARE WE POSSIBLE? GBF, 24, seeks GW/HF, 25-35. I’m outgoing, beautiful, intelligent, with a great mind. Hoping to meet a woman with a willingness to enjoy life. ☎566252 SEEKING FRIENDSHIP Tall, slim, attractive SWF, 34, single mom, enjoys travel. Seeking athletic, easygoing, humorous, fun SWF, 26-45, to go out and have good times. ☎572618 ZEST FOR LIFE Articulate, adventurous WF, 32, 5’8”, brown/ brown, enjoys animals, running, movies and dining. Looking for WF, 25-40, for friendship. ☎965827

YOUNG AT HEART Active GWF, 60, 5’5”, 122lbs, brown hair, enjoys meeting new people, dining out, short trips. Seeking plus-sized GWF, 45-60. ☎965820 SECURITY GUARD Laid-back female, 41, likes movies, dining out, cooking, quiet evenings. Seeking similarminded male for companionship. ☎589877 GIVE ME A CALL GBF, 20, down-to-earth, likes dancing, movies, walks in the park. Seeking GF, 21-35, for friendship and conversation. ☎965826 KIND AND CARING GBF, 24, 5’2”, 170lbs, blond hair, energetic, loving, enjoys movies, shopping, cooking. Seeking romantic, outgoing GBF, 21-27. ☎965819 SEEKING SOMEONE SPECIAL Fun-loving, romantic, sincere SBPF, 25, 5’1”, 170lbs, enjoys shopping, cooking, dining out. Seeking open-minded, romantic, fun-loving SBF, 21-28. ☎965842 SOMETHING SPECIAL Bi-SWF, 41, attractive, kind of shy, smoker. Wants to meet a SWF, 30-45, for special times together. ☎965841 YOU DECIDE GBF, 21, 5’7”, 140lbs, enjoys quiet times at home. Seeking fun GBF, 19-28, for conversation and possibly more. ☎965840 WOULDN’T IT BE NICE? Shy, honest GWF, 40, 5’1”, 128lbs, salt & pepper hair, brown eyes, loves outdoor activities, traveling. Seeking GWF, 30-45. ☎965839 UP FOR GOOD TIMES GBF, 20, 5’3”, 130lbs, friendly, outgoing, loves meeting new people, reading, writing. Seeking outgoing, friendly GBF, 19-25. ☎965838 SEARCHING FOR U! SBF, 18, 5’4”, 132lbs, attractive, reserved, likes reading, music, family times. Seeking outgoing, down-to-earth, funny SBF, 18-45, for friendship. ☎965837 SEEKING YOU SBF, 25, mother, adventurous, N/S, loves art, poetry, animals. Seeking SBF, 25-35, goal-oriented, for a casual relationship. ☎965836

For customer service, call

I’M LOOKING 4 U SBF, 31, 5’3”, fun-loving, nice, caring, honest, enjoys basketball, movies, cuddling and shopping. Seeking trustworthy SBF, 26-35, for friendship. ☎965835 FRIENDS FIRST SBF, 40, 5’3”, 160lbs, laid-back, outgoing, enjoys reading movies, cuddling and dining out. Seeking SBF, 30-55, for friendship first. ☎965834 IT COULD BE SWEET Laid-back SBF, 25, 5’4”, medium-built, into chats, pool, various films, music, books. Seeking caring, understanding SF, N/S. ☎965833 BEST IS YET TO COME! GWF, 40, seeks GF, 30+, for casual friendship. No stress needed, but willing and ready for what comes my way. ☎965830 FRIENDSHIP FIRST! Funny, smart, down-to-earth GBF, 5’6”, 125lbs, loves long walks, hand holding. Seeking GF, 21-30, who likes kids and doesn’t play games. ☎965829 LET’S GET TOGETHER SF, 24, 5’4”, 185lbs, dark brown hair, likes singing and family-oriented activities. Seeking SBF, 22-33, for friendship, possibly more. ☎965828 WHY NOT? GBF, 24, 5’4”, 145lbs, dark-skinned, short hair, has a wide variety of interests. Seeking GF, 21-30, for friendship and conversation. ☎965824 WASTE NO TIME GBF, 36, enjoys dining out, cooking, dining out. Seeking attractive, open-minded, fun, nice GF, 25-45, for friendship and possibly more. ☎965823 LOOKING FOR A QUEEN SBF, 30, one child, articulate, athletic, sense of humor, enjoys dancing. Seeking SF, 2435, for conversation, friendship. No head games. ☎965822 SOMETHING DIFFERENT SWF, 41, 5’3”, 115lbs, blue-eyed blond, enjoys casual drinking, movies, dining. Seeking WF, 35-45, with similar interests, for fun, exciting times. ☎965821

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GOING TO THE RACES! SWM, 23, 5’10”, 150lbs, adventurous, smoker, likes the outdoors, sports, racing, dining, wrestling, movies. Seeking outgoing SF, 18-35, for friendship. ☎965977 REPUBLIC OF GEORGIA Brown/green, 6’2”, 160lbs, former police officer. I like everybody. Hard-working, nice guy, lots of time off and money to spend. Seeking compatible female, please call me! ☎574304 A GOOD MAN. SWM, 31, 5’10”, 165lbs, brown/brown, good shape, good job, variety of interests. Seeking down-to-earth SWF, 20-35, friendship first, possible LTR. ☎567940 SWEET REWARDS Nubian King, 5’9”, 39, muscular build, loves home, rollercoasters, laughter, fun-loving activities shared with SF, 27-48, substance free, open relationship. ☎965949 LISTEN UP! WM, 45, 6’, 220lbs, dark blonde hair, outgoing, loves music, animals, outdoors, pleasing person. ☎966005 INTERRACIAL SBM, employed, enjoys chess, basketball, auto mechanics. Seeking WF, 33-55 for possible LTR. ☎965999 SEEKING SF, 21-46 SBM, 35, looking for casual relationship first, possible LTR. I enjoy malls, movies, rivers, quiet times at home. ☎579190 GIVE ME A CALL! SBM, 6’1”, 270lbs, seeking SBPF, 35-50, for friendship, movies, walks in the park, and dining out. ☎965993 SOMETHING WE BOTH NEED Is friendship. SBM, 22, seeks woman, 2029. So if your sweet, caring and kind then we can be friends and maybe more. ☎603104 HOME IS WHERE The heart is. Educated SWM, 33, self employed, veteran, enjoys family and friends. Seeking HF, 24-31, for LTR. ☎601113 GREAT SCOTT Retired DWM, 52, 6’4”, 155lbs, reddish/ blonde hair, enjoys dancing, seeks similar female. ☎965991 COMPASSION SM, 53, 6’, 180lbs, musician, loving, communicative, loves bowling, dancing, walks, car racing. Seeking attractive, compassionate SWF, 21-60, for a LTR. ☎965990 LOOKING FOR MY LADY SWM, 35, 6’1”, 195lbs, blond/blue, enjoys cooking, dining, dancing, quiet evenings. Seeking SWF, 25-40, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎965988 NEW COMER TO AREA SBM, 42, 5’8”, 160lbs, shy, likes baseball, cooking, country music, kids. Seeking SF, 24-50, full-figured, for LTR. ☎965976 LET’S TALK SWM, 46, N/S, 5’10”, 200lbs, enjoys outdoors, hunting, country music, bowling and flea markets. Seeking SWF, 35-50, hardworking, honest. ☎965975 ENJOY LIFE SWM, 33, 5’11”, 215lbs, brown/green, creative, passionate, enjoys painting, poetry, hiking, traveling, sports. Seeking SWF, 2345, for casual times. ☎965974 JUST FUN Shy WM, 55, N/S, no kids, enjoys going for coffee, ice cream or a movie. Seeking WF, 45-65, for friendship first. ☎965973 RUN WITH ME SHM, 50, 5’8”, N/S, likes outdoors, having fun, running. Seeking SF, 36-45, for friendship. ☎965972 EVERYTHING’S ALRIGHT Shy SWM, 46, homebody, seeks SWF, 3542, no kids, easygoing, wants a relationship. ☎965971 CELESTIAL SAILOR Mystical romanticist, rider, believer, gardener, chef, biker, crafts, camper. SWM, 43, very clean, financially secure, seeks SF, 2950, loves jazz. ☎965970 MR. RIGHT SBM, 41, 5’11”, down-to-earth, enjoys quiet evenings. Seeking slender SBF, 30-45, brown skin, black hair, for friendship, possibly more. ☎965969

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