Metro Spirit 08.16.2012

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MARKETING & DESIGN

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EVENTS CALENDAR JENNY IS WRIGHT

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Contributors Jamess Allen|Greg Baker|Rob Baker| Brezsny|Sam Eifling |Matt Matt Lane|Austin Rhodes|Josh Ruffin|Andy Ruffin Andy Stokes|Matt Stone|Jenny W Ruff Wright

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INSIDER RUFFIN’ IT AUSTIN RHODES

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Metro Spirit is a freee newspaper published publis weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks eks a year. Editorial coverage includes local ocal al issues and news, arts, arts entertainment, entert people, places and pectrum. The he views do not necessarily represent present the views of the th publisher. publish Visit us at metrospirit.com. m.Š events. In our paperr appear views from across the political and social spectrum. ner/Publisher: Joe White. Legal: Phillip Scott Hibbard. Reproduction or use without permissio p person, perso please. 15 House, LLC. Owner/Publisher: permission is prohibited. One copy per

CONTENTS

COVER DESIGN: KRUHU

14 o r t e m IRIT 8 SP 11 12

Here We Go Again?: Will the Municipal Building renovation be business as usual?

EricJohnson|news editor eric@themetrospirit.com

GabrielVega|lead designer gabe@themetrospirit.com

BrendaCarter|senior account executive brenda@themetrospirit.com

AmyChristian|arts editor/production director amy@themetrospirit.com

JoeWhite|publisher joe@themetrospirit.com

AmberKuhn|sales manager amber@themetrospirit.com

JohnnyBeckworth|circulation manager johnny@themetrospirit.com

Michael-RKQVRQ_VLJKWLQJV ‡ Valerie(PHULFN_ZULWHU ‡ Amy3HUNLQV_HGLWRULDO LQWHUQ ‡ LauraPerry|volunteer

WHINELINE The definition of Azziz can best be described south end of a horse heading north. You see the cover of last weeks Spirit as being too “white�. I see it as people downtown that WON’T mug you. Hey nimrods who write The Insider, I believe Lori Davis

too busy stuffing their faces with With all the hoorah over the G-R-U name, don’t forget to chicken sandwiches. vote come Aug. 21! We’ve got to make sure to have the best Hey, if you hate Austin so much don’t f’ing listen him Quit man, Scott Peebles, for sheriff! wasting whine space. We need Rhodes vs. Ruffin. Think of it as a Whack Off and we Who’s Billy fooling? His efforts can raise money for that spine to skewer Rick Azziz is a operation Meek Deke needs...or transparent attempt to divert better yet a one way bus ticket popular attention from his If it wasn’t for lesbians and black latest sweetheart deal, The TEE out of town for Azziz. men, the U.S. would win fewer Center. Don Vito Corleone Azziz strikes Olympic medals than France. again! American white men must be gave the specific reasons in her press release for why she is deciding not to run. So there are no conspiracy theories needed. Bottom line is if the voters in that district are so stupid to pass T-splost by 80% then they probably deserve someone like Matt Aitken as their commissioner anyway.

Next year Richmond County residents will have to pay 8 bucks more for trash pick up while at the same time having the service cut from twice a week to once. This is BS! If I did this to my customers I would be out of business. But we have no choice... just take it. Thanks Coneheads, and pass the KY.

The Price of Voting: Runoff comes with a cost Regency Mall Gains Interest: Interest in area grows while city moves closer to developing lake

Want to advertise in the Metro Spirit? 706.496.2535 or 706.373.3636

(continued on page 38)

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Wright McLeod Needs a Haircut: Spending an hour with the 12th District Republican as he waits and wonders

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INSIDER@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM Insider is an anonymous, opinion-based examination of the hidden details of Augusta politics and personalities.

up

THUMBS

SIDER

Metro Spirit Turns 23

To the let’s rename Dr. Azziz and see how he likes it game, going on now at a Facebook page near you. Our favorite so far? Eddiemunster Hairjelly, MD.

down

To the post-Olympics, back to school, dear lord can’t the presidential election be tomorrow blues.

Full Disclosure In this week’s Metro Spirit, the article “Wright McLeod Needs a Haircut” references a campaign mailer sent by Rick Allen calling Wright McLeod a trial lawyer. The same mailer uses a photo of McLeod that was taken by Metro Spirit publisher Joe White and used in the Metro Spirit. The use was not authorized by White or the Metro Spirit. Metro Spirit attorney Phillip Scott Hibbard has drafted a letter to Allen, dated August 13, 2012, directing Allen of the Metro Spirit’s intention to bring an action against him to enforce its intellectual property rights and protect its copyright.

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METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

This week marks the Metro Spirit’s 23rd anniversary. I feel it’s very important to thank those who create this paper each week. In so doing, there is a risk of leaving someone out. If I do, please forgive me. First off, I couldn’t imagine sharing 40 hours a week with better people than Amy Christian, Eric Johnson and Gabe Vega. They are all three exemplary at what they do and a lot of fun to be around. Last month, Amy was named Arts Editor in addition to her role as Production Manager and Eric was promoted to News Editor. Gabe is already Arts Director, so we officially tagged him Wonder Boy. On the sales side, Brenda Carter has been a conscientious and hard-working sidekick, and new Sales Manager Amber Kuhn has proven herself in just a few short months. They are the ones out in the heat while we complain if our air conditioning rises above 71. Our contributors: Austin, Jenny, Matt and Matt Stone and Lane, Michael Johnson, Greg Baker, Valerie Emerick, Laura Perry, Josh Ruffin and, recent addition, vet music writer Andy Stokes: Thank you. We receive back office help from Jenny and Aron, Jimmy Bennett at Computer One, Greg Baker with CMA, attorney Phillip Hibbard, and KRUHU does a fantastic job creating our covers each week. We also have meaningful partnerships with Beasley Broadcasting and WFXG, plus a host of charitable and arts organizations throughout the area. Johnny Beckwith, Ken Boswell, Terry and Ken Sumner keep the paper in the streets and Jim Beck is gracious enough to feed us every Tuesday night. And lastly, a great big thank you to our advertisers. Please support them and let you know you appreciate them supporting Augusta’s Independent Voice! — Joe White

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Much Too Little and Far Too Late And How Does the Mayor Feel about GRU? “During the naming process I weighed in on several occasions with the committee that my own personal preference for the name would be the University of Augusta. However, the decision has now been made and the Board of Regents has shared with me that the decision is definitely final. As Mayor of Augusta, an Augusta College Alum, a longtime ASU Foundation Trustee and a two-time “A-Day� chair, no one would have liked to see Augusta as part of the new name more than me but I didn’t get what I wanted and I’m willing to accept that and move on. It should not go unnoticed nor unappreciated that Governor Nathan Deal has set aside hundreds of millions of dollars to help ensure that Georgia Regents University is a long-term success and a nationally recognized institution which will be a major boost to the future growth of our city in a multitude of ways. In moving forward I believe that the best expenditure of my time and efforts is to do everything possible to help the new university grow and prosper here in Augusta to the benefit of the citizens of our community educationally, economically and socially for generations to come.� — Augusta Mayor Deke Copenhaver

There’s no arguing that the naming of the new university created from the merger of Augusta State University (ASU) and Georgia Health Sciences University (GHSU) was a public relations nightmare for school President Dr. Ricardo Azziz. But frankly, the entire months’ long process was such an obvious distraction, it’s hard to imagine anyone taking the selection process seriously in the first place, which might have been the point, since no one took anything seriously until it was too late. When word got out that Georgia Regents University, one of three finalists, would be the name recommended to the Board of Regents, Azziz received a barrage of hellfire the likes of which only Steve Bartman has seen before (if you don’t know, Google it). When the Regents actually chose the name, he might as well have been Public Enemy Number One. Sure, the name flies in the face of just about everything most Augustans have since said they want, but does Augusta really have anyone to blame but themselves? Given Azziz’s short but aggressive history as Augusta’s absolute ruler, should anyone really be surprised that his pet name would have been the one to quietly rise to the top? This is the same guy who gave us the whole GHSU thing in the first place, a man for whom status quo is nothing but Latin for get that crap out of my way. Real power doesn’t come from trying to convince someone to see it your way, it comes from doing what you planned to do in the face of opposition, and that’s obviously exactly what Azziz was doing. The more everyone said Augusta this and Augusta that, the more he thought Georgia Regents University. While the upcoming protest, including all the maneuvering to try to involve Regent University, which seems to be the most likely weak spot in the whole plan, since it appears to be the only part of it all that lies outside of Azziz’s control, will certainly allow people to let off some steam, is it really going to prove anything? All the yelling should have been back in mid-July when the final three names were announced. People liked University of Augusta, but not enough to rally. They were ambivalent about Georgia Regents University until it appeared that’s what they were going to get. Simply put, Augusta, you waited too long to get involved and, now, fueled by emotion and goaded on by messages from just about every communications medium available, we’ve got a jihad in our midst. But in the end, what’s to be made of a bandwagon whose ticket to ride, at least for some, is the withholding of financial support to the schools that have fallen victim to the name change? Really, how is that any different than the knee-jerk reactions we all seemed to despise during the whole Chick-fil-A controversy, whether it was the chain’s supporters who rallied or its detractors who kissed?

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Missed Opportunities

These would have been more entertaining picks as Romney’s running mate Okay, jumping in with both feet here. It really speaks to not only the Romney campaign’s complete ineptitude and lack of sense of drama and timing, but also the scarcity of faith in its own candidate, that they chose to make the VP announcement early on a Saturday morning. To be fair, Romney justified the apathy of his team, utterly boning the introduction of future porn parody subject Paul Ryan (R-Wisconsin), referring to him as “the next President of the United States.” Holy screaming Jesus — introducing your sidekick as the man who will one day usurp you for the job you don’t even have yet is a truly mindboggling combination of arrogance and defeatism. Nerds, let me help you out: the following comparison isn’t exact, but that’s like pre-Sith Darth Plagueis getting Palpatine to cover for him while he takes a bathroom break during his shift as a Walmart greeter. My best, and by far least insane, guess is that the tiny alien inside the Romney man-suit spilled his coffee on the control panel. Still, word quickly spread. I was cutting lime wedges before the restaurant opened for brunch when I got a text from my dad: “I guess y’all are proud of your native son Mr. Ryan this morning.” The man has a notoriously dry sense of humor, so trying to parse his jokes is sometimes akin to catching a mote of dust in your teeth during a windstorm. This time, though, there was no mistaking his sarcasm, even through the cloudy veneer of a text message. That’s a one-punch KO variety of wry. To put that in perspective, if you punched Angelina Jolie that hard, one of Jon Voigt’s testicles would turn Democrat. Anyway, I’m kind of let down. Sure, Paul Ryan is a special kind of deplorable — and believe me, I’m getting fury-wood just thinking about next week’s column — but he’s not crazy. As a pretty hard-line social conservative, he’s going to milk these Teabaggy lobotomy cases for every dollar they’re worth from now, straight on through a hilariously one-sided November loss, to his own 2016 campaign. Speculation had run rampant these last few weeks concerning who the Romney team would pick — serious face, I’m surprised it wasn’t Marco Rubio — and Ryan has been met, barring the pre-scripted barbs hurled from both sides, with a resounding “meh” from the general public. To my way of thinking (i.e. caffeine-addled and patchwork), Romney needed to throw Obama off his game to have any chance of winning. How do you do that? Obviously: picking a running mate so ill-advisedly insane that Sarah Palin double-takes. Obscure the air with nonsensical oratory and, maybe, recitations of the “Billy Madison” screenplay; plan attacks on the sub-crust-dwelling mole people, anything to make Obama and the media scramble. Sadly, Romney went with the straight choice. Here, then, is a look at what might have gloriously been. Keep in mind, Paul Ryan does partially reflect elements of each of these, but we’re looking at these choices in terms of full-bore label embodiment. And I have, like, 500 words left to get through. The Gift-to-Dems Pick: Michele Bachmann Ever since Michele Bachmann was ousted from the GOP primary, she’s been relatively quiet. For sanity, that’s a good thing. For comedy, a real shame. Bachmann spent most of her campaign looking like someone stretched a skin mask over a dimestore skeleton, then imbued in the resulting beast all the most horrifying

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characteristics of country club moms, Holocaust deniers and popular girls in junior high. Though she and fellow crazy-pants Rick Santorum actually managed to be the voice of reason during one debate exchange — Romney and Perry talked about just outright attacking more countries, while Bachmann and Santorum had the good sense to know that, wait, you can’t just do that — she mostly spent the campaign accusing Obamacare of giving 12-year-old girls Alzheimer’s with autism shots or something. She’s like Jenny McCarthy, minus the credibility. What It Would Have Meant: The alien spilled his coffee again. The Awesome Pick: Herman Cain Not gonna lie to you guys… I’ve sort of come around on Herman Cain. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still the worst kind of idiot — an obvious, unapologetic one — but he makes up for it with effortless charisma and bottomless entertainment value. When Cain first hit the scene, he reminded me a bit of Ted Johnson, an asshat of a local radio host whose show I produced when I manned the dials at WNR-something-something here in Augusta. He even wore a cowboy hat, unironically. But when Ted said infuriatingly crazy things — “Obama will mandate shariah law in our nation’s universities,” and Harry Potter being “insidious” for teaching kids witchcraft are two of my favorites — you could tell he meant it, because there was something wrong with his brain. Herman Cain, though, may have been trolling us all this time. He’s since made a video of himself skeet-shooting rabbits against a backdrop of a storm happening inside of an American flag, somehow, and brilliantly mocked himself in a series of “Daily Show” sketches. He would have been exactly the distracting factor the Romney campaign needed to flabbergast the nation into disarray. I know I’m supposed to be against entitling morons and all that, but if someone doesn’t give this man a reality show, stat, then we’re all dead inside. What It Would Have Meant: The alien knows my thoughts. The Where-My-Brain-Went-Next Pick: Papa John The Papa recently came out as a Romney supporter and, yes, I’m aware of the irony in that semantic phrasing. Apparently, something about Obamacare is going to drive up the price of their pizzas by about 14 cents apiece, which should be an outrage to no one but Hover-Round riders with American flag-print stretch-pants. Granted, Papa John’s is probably the best-tasting national chain pizza in the country, but that’s like describing syphilis as “itchy.” No less than the company boss himself recently hosted a fundraiser for Romney. The name-brand pizza was obviously on the menu, in the most insulting, pitiful example of blue-collar patronization since George W pretended to know what a rake is. I would say I’m boycotting Papa Johns, but I can only afford lentils as it is. What It Would Have Meant: The alien has gone rogue.

JOSHRUFFIN, a Metro Spirit alum, is a published journalist and poet who just

received his MFA from Georgia College & State University. He was once the most un-intimidating bouncer at Soul Bar.

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AUSTIN RHODES

Dr. Azziz: Read Before You File This Away Little known fact about institutions like ASU/MCG/GHSU/GRU-ED: Every write up they get in the press gets clipped and put in a file for posterity. So this little essay is going to end up in that file, right there next to the stories about how thousands of locals are ready to string up Dr. Ricardo Azziz and 17/18ths of the Georgia Board of Regents. It will rest snug up against the front page Augusta Chronicle editorial slamming Azziz’s orchestrated campaign to get his massive new educational complex named just like he wanted. It will be nestled in close with the numerous reports that showed his minions lobbied officials and pushed the unpopular motif, while the hear/speak/see no evil monkeys that call themselves Regents gobbled up the bull he fed them like sea gulls gobbling so many airborne Cheetos. This is one of many printed entries that will end up in that vaunted file, but this may be the only one that attempts to speak to the good doctor personally. So here goes, and if nothing else, at least I saved a stamp. Dr. Azziz... Ricardo... Ricky-baby... I understand you have a lot on your plate. You have been given a Herculean task, albeit one that you personally asked for, but that notwithstanding, your job right now has got to be a real bitch. Consolidating two very different, extraordinarily complex institutions of higher learning could very well be one of the most difficult real life projects ever undertaken by a pure academic. You are going to be challenged at every turn, not just because common sense and logic demands that certain cuts and adjustments be made, but because you will be met with battle from every entrenched bureaucrat and career educator with tenure. People who think they are entitled to what they have because the last guy who died holding the same position got to have it that way their whole life. Tough crap. The world changed a few years ago and, by god, if the UAW can be told to stick it in their ear, I’ll be damned if the “soft butts” in academia can’t be knocked down a few sizes. Up to now, you had the community behind you. We were hoping that the Board of Regents would recognize Augusta’s unbounded affection and support for these two schools and all their supporting personnel and students. My father is a 1968 graduate of Augusta College, the first and only college graduate in his immediate family. I too attended the school, and my daughter has spent the last two years knocking out her core at ASU, finishing elsewhere only because her life’s calling requires divinity training elsewhere.

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In the mid ’60s my mother worked full time at MCG while my dad was finishing his degree, helping him get through school while keeping a roof over all our heads. How ironic 20 years later, when I ceased to be a full-time college student, that my mom’s insistence that I get a full-time job that came with all important health insurance, resulted in my first taste of adult life and responsibility, all courtesy of a 40-hour work week as a patient care assistant in the MCG Emergency Room. Six bucks and some change an hour, if memory serves, plus the benefits. (BTW, I loved that job! Everyone should spend time working in an emergency room. The single most educational environment I have ever had the privilege to experience.) I submit the above biographical history of four members of the Rhodes family just to establish our credentials and investments in these institutions that you now guide. None of us will be enshrined in the GPA Hall of Fame, or the Employee of the Year Club, but for those certain, very exciting times in our lives, those institutions were the center of our universes and occupied the majority of our respective waking hours. To this day when I drive by either campus, I still get the feeling that I have family inside; that I belong there. I know the rest of the Rhodes feel the same. These hometown institutions deserve to be embraced by the community that built them. While millions of dollars in tuition and taxpayers’ funds laid the brick and mortar foundations that house the missions of these schools and clinics, it is the men and women who work and study there who actually bring those institutions to life. It is those men and women who are asking you to remember the community that is Augusta. We may not all have been born here, and we may not stay forever, but while we work, learn, help and heal at ASU/MCG, we are all Augustans. Even you and your family, Dr. Azziz, right this minute, are Augustans. As a member of our community, we ask you to fix this mistake. I believe you were pure of heart in your intent, but misunderstanding the sentiments of our extended family will only be a sin if you allow the mistake to continue. Please fix it. We know you can do it. Go Jags!

AUSTINRHODES

The views expressed are the opinions of Austin Rhodes and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

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ERICJOHNSON

Wright McLeod Needs a Haircut

Spending an hour with the 12th District Republican as he waits and wonders

Wright McLeod needs a haircut. Even if he didn’t, that’s what you do when you’re killing time waiting for bad news. And for a political candidate, the news he’s waiting for couldn’t get much worse. It’s 1 p.m. on Thursday, August 9, and McLeod is waiting to find out if the recount he requested for the 12th Congressional District Republican primary somehow managed to find the 580 votes he needs to claw ahead of second place finisher Rick Allen and therefore into the runoff with the primary’s clear winner, Grovetown farmer and state representative Lee Anderson. Getting a haircut beats sitting around the conference table in his Evans law firm thinking about how unlikely it is that the news he hears will be good. “We’re working on two letters,” he says. “One — gear up, we’re in. And two, it’s over.” Later in the evening he’ll distribute the “it’s over” letter, of course — he gains only four votes in the recount — but now, at 1 p.m., there’s still the glimmer of a chance that it will turn out differently. So McLeod sits at the conference table preparing for his haircut and mulling over the what ifs. All he’d wanted to do was make the runoff. “We felt like there we had the advantage,” he says. “That makes sense to me, especially if we are running against Lee. I would have picked up more of [fourth place finisher Maria Sheffield’s] supporters and more of Rick’s supporters than Lee would have. So the goal was just to get in the runoff. And there was no doubt; we thought we were in the runoff.” It wasn’t just hopeful thinking. A poll three weeks before election day had 8

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McLeod within the margin of error of Anderson and a few points head of Allen. “I think the poll was wrong,” he says, a hint of bitterness creeping into his voice. “I think it was a tremendous waste of money. It didn’t change anything that we did, but I look at the information that came in and it didn’t mean anything to me.” That information said he had an unbelievably high favorability rating, which wasn’t exactly an unknown fact. “Money wasted,” he says, looking out the window. A preliminary poll taken at the beginning of the race told him even less — nobody knew who he was. The second poll felt good at the time, though, and the positive response he was getting on the campaign trail had him feeling pretty confident coming down the homestretch, even in spite of a flurry of negative mailers from both Allen and Anderson. The mailers capitalized on the constant negative drumbeat coming out of the Allen camp, a drumbeat that was amplified by the Morris newspapers — echoed by the Augusta Chronicle and the Columbia County News Times here in the CSRA, but originating at the Savannah Morning News, which serves as the primary paper for the southern part of the district, a part of the district McLeod lost badly. “Horribly,” he clarifies. Despite all that, McLeod felt confident he would make the runoff, even as late as 6:30 p.m. election night. “Could we have been in first place — yes,” he says. “Could we have been in second place — yes. Did we expect to be in third place — no.” 16AUGUST2012

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When all the votes were tallied, Anderson came in with 34 percent of the vote. Allen was second, ahead of McLeod by 580 votes, which was within the one percent threshold required for a recount. Once the vote was certified, McLeod had two days to request a recount, even though the chances of changing the outcome were next to none. “My thought process was that there is a procedure in place when the margin of victory is less than one percent,” McLeod says. “In this case, the margin of victory was less than one percent — follow the procedure. Add that with the 200 emails telling me to do the recount — nobody said don’t do it.” Though his supporters were vocal about the recount, some in the Republican community criticized it as a waste of time, and though McLeod acknowledged the odds were low that he would pick up the necessary votes, he pushed forward with his “trust, but verify” plan anyway. While he waited, Anderson and Allen moved forward without him, attacking each other as if he were no longer in the picture. During the primary, McLeod consciously chose not to engage in that kind of campaign, and was forced to live with the consequences. “We got an unbelievable amount of compliments on the way we ran,” he says. “But… we lost.” Losing, of course, opens up everything — every choice and decision and expenditure — to Monday morning quarterbacking. “It’s painful,” he says of the second-guessing. “It’s brutal.” Though his analytical mind keeps him from feeling sorry for himself, it also keeps him running through all the variables in an endless loop of possibilities. “Were there some things that, had we done them differently, would have changed the outcome? I think that’s correct,” he says. “Were there things that my opponents could have done differently that would have negated my changes? Yes. So it’s not as simple as saying had I done X instead of Y then I would have won. Had I done X instead of Y I might have won, but they could have done A instead of B and prevented my change.” Part of the second-guessing has to do with the way early voting has affected the campaign process. “In the past, it was pretty easy,” says Holly Croft, McLeod’s campaign spokesperson. She’s sitting around the conference table, too. Waiting. “You just chased the absentee ballots. Early voting changes it. You pretty much have to have your door knockers and such out a month before early voting starts.” In other words, we don’t have an election day as much as we have an election period. “When we talked to people approaching election day, they told us they saw Wright in the debates and felt he clearly won them,” Croft continues. “In the future, we need to schedule those earlier.” The final TV forum, hosted by former Augusta mayor Bob Young, occurred the Friday before the election, the same day Allen’s mailer calling McLeod a trial lawyer was landing in mailboxes. “You know how many cases I’ve tried?” McLeod asks. “Zero.” That’s the way negative campaigning achieves its goal, though — not with one eye-popping revelation, but with a chorus of whispered innuendos. “I acknowledge the so-called experts that say negative campaigning works,” he says. “Death by a thousand cuts. But it’s still not who I am or what I believe or the way I want my children to behave. I do not acknowledge the justification ‘that’s politics.’” When they started the campaign, McLeod and his wife, Sheri, made a decision that they were going to run a campaign that they could discuss around the dinner table in front of their three daughters. That proved more challenging than anticipated. “So this thing gets into it and the allegations start flying and you feel yourself sinking to a level that you don’t want to be at,” he says. “I don’t want to think like that. I don’t want to respond like that. I didn’t want my children to hear me talk like that.” In spite of the punishment, including a complaint filed by Allen Campaign Manager Scott Paradise with the Federal Election Commission that brutalized him in headlines throughout the campaign, McLeod continued to stay positive. Then, just before the election, his advisors approached him. “They come back and go, ‘Okay, you’re getting ready to get hit,’” he says. “‘You are perceived to be the spoiler, and if you don’t prepare for these hit pieces, you are going to lose.’” The hit pieces were anticipated to occur sometime during the week before election day, long after he would have time to respond. “So you prepare,” he says. “You prepare your own hit pieces.” He shakes his head and frowns at the memory. “They send them to me to look at, and I look at them and go, ‘That’s just 16AUGUST2012

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not me,’” he says. “It’s a bunch of half truths. It’s making assertions we have no business making.” But his people respond with a simple fact: he’ll lose without them. These are his advisors talking, the people he pays for direction. So he says do it — run the ads. Ultimately, the ads don’t run, though, because — here’s irony for you — after McLeod loses his battle with his better self, the experts change their minds. After causing a change of heart, they have a change of heart themselves. “Am I proud that we didn’t send them?” he asks. “Yes. Am I mad that I let myself go to where I went? I am absolutely mad. I did not stand up and say no, we’re not going to do that. I flat said do it. They’re the ones who said no.” Now, in the midst of the hotly contested runoff, McLeod potentially holds the key to victory, and though he was contacted by both Anderson and Allen, he says deciding who he’ll vote for is difficult, especially knowing how many of his supporters are looking to him for guidance.

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“What I have is one candidate who has absolutely beat the crap out of me,” he says. “And I’ve got another candidate over there who really hasn’t played near as hard, but we’re at opposite ends of the spectrum. Do I let my personal feeling get in the way of who I think it should be or not?” The bitterness goes beyond ego and the dashing of dreams, however. Not only was McLeod’s house

vandalized and his tires slashed on election night, his parents’ farm in south Richmond County was wiped out. And while that seems like a personal attack that goes well beyond the reach of ‘that’s politics,’ he makes no distinction between that and the FEC complaint. “How is that any different than the $20,000 legal

fee that I have to pay for the FEC complaint?” he asks, drumming his fingers on the conference table. “How’s that any different than breaking into the farm? I guess you can argue that they believe that their allegations are correct, but…” He continues drumming his fingers. “Twenty grand,” he says. “That stings.” And right then all the negativity seems to combine with the realization that he’s been talking as if it’s over, and it sends him voluntarily to the What’s Next question. “It’s awful hypocritical to stand up there and say these things are important and you all need to donate and you need to vote and you need to help me and then all of a sudden you get your knees whacked and you walk away,” he says. “That’s not me.” But that’s all he’ll say on the subject, because it’s now 2 p.m., there’s a lot that’s still up in the air and only one thing that’s absolutely clear. Wright McLeod needs a haircut, and the time has come for him to get it.

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ERICJOHNSON

The Price of Voting Runoff comes with a cost

Due to the lack of a quorum at Monday’s Financial Services meeting, the Augusta Commission was unable to authorize funding for the general primary runoff scheduled for Tuesday, August 21, though funding the runoff is the least of Election Director Lynn Bailey’s worries. “We’ll be fine,” she says. “We actually have money in our budget to carry us through the end of the year. That would include the November budget, so what we’ll do, I guess you could say, is borrow from those funds that are already allocated for the November budget and redistribute these funds when the funding is approved by the commission.” The estimated cost of the runoff is $68,775. Why so expensive? “When we have a runoff such as this, every single polling place has to be open,” she says. That means staffing each of the 50 polling locations across the city with a minimum of three poll workers — by law. “In the bigger places we’ll put in a few more workers than that because if you’ve got the possibility of 4,000 or 5,000 people coming in to vote in a place, you need to be prepared to do that.” For the general primary runoff, $45,000 is budgeted solely for poll workers, followed by $5,000 for printing absentee ballots, $4,000 for election night workers and delivery crews and nearly $4,000 for building rental. “We use a lot of county recreation facilities, so we don’t have to pay rent for those,” she says. “But for the churches and for Augusta State University and Paine College and the places that we use, we do pay a nominal fee, generally $100 a day. And then we also have custodians that come into nearly every facility to make sure the room is set up and ready to receive the voting equipment and then break it down and get it ready for use by whoever’s coming into the room after we leave.” Those custodians are paid $25 a day, while poll workers, who must be at least 16 years old and a resident of both Georgia and Richmond County, are paid a minimum of $120 a

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day, closer to $200 for managers. Poll workers and managers often work 14- or 15-hour days. Electronic voting machines have greatly simplified the process, Bailey says, while ensuring the accuracy of the voting. Recounting the 12th Congressional District Republican primary required only a couple of hours. “It’s basically a re-creation of what we do election night,” Bailey says. “During the recount, we know we have all the memory cards on site, so we don’t have to wait for the poll workers to bring them to us.” Though Wright McLeod gained four votes from the entire district in the recount, none came from Richmond County. “Any time you throw the paper ballot into the mix you always have a wildcard,” Bailey says. “Maybe a voter had put a checkmark in the little circle instead of coloring the bubble like they should. One scanner might pick that up as a vote while another might not.” And while voter I.D. is an ideological hot potato, Bailey says it makes the process smother and more accurate. “With that electronic poll book that we use in Georgia and now with the Georgia drivers license having the barcode on the back of it, we’re able to scan in that bar code, so that really alleviates the possibility of poll workers inadvertently selecting the wrong voter on that electronic poll book.” As for the upcoming runoff, which will cost a little less than the primary because the workers have already been trained, Bailey says the poll workers will be up to speed on the party choice questions that aren’t always clear to voters. Basically, anyone voting in the primary is required to vote in the same party’s runoff, Bailey says. Those who didn’t vote for either party in the primary are allowed to vote in either runoff. Bailey expects a turnout of about 20 or 30 percent.

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ERICJOHNSON

Regency Mall Gains Interest

Interest in area grows while city moves closer to developing lake

According to Administrator Fred Russell, the defunct Regency Mall has been drawing more and more interest lately, something he hopes signals a renewed interest in the hard hit area of town. “The conversations are becoming more frequent, but I can’t really go into detail at the moment,” he said. “We have not talked to the owner lately, but we’ve been sort of dancing around with other people who have been looking at that area as a more viable opportunity than it has been in the past.” Though playing the economic development card so close to the vest makes some skeptical — Augusta has certainly been teased with stories like this before — Russell told commissioners last week that he had been in contact with the owner of an adjacent property and he had also been in discussions concerning additional opportunities with a school board property in the Regency Mall area. “People are beginning to knock on our door,” Russell said. “During the bad times, we did okay and people seem to be recognizing that. As the market starts turning around, I’m getting more phone calls on a regular basis.” Augusta’s resilience during the recession makes the city attractive, he says. “During the last one, we kept building stuff and bringing in jobs — even during the worst of it,” he said. “We have a lot to be proud of, though we have a few people that spend a lot of time looking for things to be mad at.” It’s been a long time since anyone’s found anything to be proud of in Regency Mall, however. The former shopping mall, whose last tenant moved out a decade ago, has been an eyesore for years, not to mention an example of the city’s inability to successfully handle issues of urban blight. Last summer, city officials inspected the 800,000-square-foot building to confirm that it still complied with the city’s mothballed properties ordinance. Inspectors also searched for mold, long thought to be overwhelming the abandoned building.

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While they found minor issues involving broken glass and overgrown shrubbery, inspectors found nothing that would jeopardize its mothballed status, including mold. In 2009, Russell proposed a 13-acre lake for the area, a project that was initially met with skepticism but has nevertheless continued to make its way toward a reality. Now, the Regency Mall area anchors the city’s 15th Street Corridor project, and Russell continues to be optimistic about the area. “At some point, with the drainage stuff we put in there and everything, we’re going to create an environment that’s going to be right for development,” he said. “That’s what, in my mind, we’ve got to do is make it worth the people’s while to be there.” He likes the drainage project to Hyde Park, the controversial neighborhood relocation project. “It solves problems that go a lot bigger than Hyde Park or Regency Mall,” he said. “You’ve got to look past the surface of the water to figure out what’s going on, and some people don’t want to do that. The thought process was a lot deeper than people thought.” According to Engineering Director Abie Ladson, the city has completed the modeling concept of the area. “We have actually done about three or four concept plans, and also we’ve been communicating with the Corps of Engineers and have come up with a concept,” he said. “Preliminary designs were completed on that particular concept.” Given the magnitude of the project — constructing an urban lake — the corps’ permitting process will likely continue to limp along. Russell will say only that the corps is in control of the timeline. Ladson, however, is willing to go a little deeper. “Once we can start the land acquisition process, and if everything goes as planned, we should be able to start construction of the lake in 2015,” he said.

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GREGORY A. BAKER, PH.D

Smart Phones, Not People

But we already knew that machines have more sense that some of us “Man Butt Dials 911 During Drug Deal” — Maybe some of you saw this headline last week. It seems that a 24-year-old Pennsylvania man was involved in negotiations when his phone decided to call 911. And of course, it happened in an area with crystal clear reception. Can you hear me now? Yes, we can. After tracing the call back to his home, the police found all kinds of drug-related substantives and paraphernalia. And by the way, he was also high. Oops. Closer to home, did you hear about the Oconee County jail guards that got busted for hitting on a 23-year-old female inmate? Apparently they got pretty explicit with her, and then sent her texts and friend requests on Facebook. We’re not sure what they were thinking, but of course this all got back to the sheriff. After pulling her phone out of evidence and quick examination of Facebook, two Oconee County deputies joined the great fraternity of men that have lost a job because of a woman. Congratulations! Everyone, please take a note, especially the stupid people. Technology does not make anything or anybody better or worse. It only amplifies what is already there. iPhone 5 Rumors — September 12 appears to be the date for the iPhone 5 announcement and the start of pre-orders. Everyone is hoping for a significant refresh of the device, and the rumors seem to indicate that changes are coming. One of the most exciting rumors is an increase of the screen size to a 4-inch screen from the current 3.5-inch screen. This will keep the iPhone on par with the leading Android phones on the market. Also rumored are a larger battery,

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smaller SIM chips and possibly true LTE wireless connectivity. The new feature that will probably have the greatest impact, however, will be a new 8- or 9-pin connector, replacing the ubiquitous 30-pin connector that has been around forever. For you that means every iPhone related accessory and connector will need to be replaced. Or maybe someone in TAG Augusta will seize upon the start-up opportunity to build an adaptor. Who knows... Cybersecurity Act Fails in Senate — A few weeks ago, I wrote about proposed cybersecurity legislation that was making its way through Congress. This proposal would greatly increase the ability of companies to monitor private communications and pass that data to the government. In short, the bill used the pretense of internet security to allow sharing of “cybersecurity threat indicators” without fear of retribution or litigation. While there were few if any privacy provisions within the original bill, several very strong privacy provisions were added over the course of the debate. Senators Al Franken and Rand Paul were leaders in the fight to protect online privacy. Ultimately, liberty and privacy rights won, as the bill did not receive the votes necessary to end debate. We should all thank Georgia Senators Chambliss and Isakson and South Carolina Senators DeMint and Graham as they voted for liberty and privacy! Unfortunately, there is a group of folks in Congress that is hell bent on passing an online security bill that attacks the privacy rights provided in the Constitution. Keep checking back each week as I will keep you informed of the latest attempts to take your liberty. Until next time, I’m off the grid @gregory_a_baker. GREGORY A. BAKER, PH.D, is vice president and chief rocket scientist for CMA, which provides information technology services to CSRA businesses and nonprofits.

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ERICJOHNSON

Here We Go Again?

Will the Municipal Building renovation be business as usual? The Augusta Commission has been trying to renovate the 55-year-old Municipal Building for quite awhile now, but a 2011 lawsuit stalled the project. Chief Judge Carlisle Overstreet lifted the injunction in the winter of 2011, but now that the project is more or less ready to move forward, it’s encountered another hurdle. “Apparently, our elevators, according to the 2010 standards, are three inches too small to meet the requirements for the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA),” says Administrator Fred Russell, who brought a series of renovation plans before the Engineering Services Committee, few of which the city can afford. “The bottom line is that we’ve got a need that doesn’t correspond with the amount of funding we have available to us,” Russell told the committee. “Some of that need was driven by the court case that delayed us for awhile, and some of that was driven by the 2010 ADA requirements that were enacted after we started dealing with the building.” Left alone, the elevators could be grandfathered in, but once the county starts the renovation process, the new standards kick in. According to Russell, the lawsuit, in which a local builder and a property owners association challenged the city’s method of awarding the bid for the renovation, not only delayed the project, but it added a considerable cost to the

14 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

renovation, which was originally estimated to cost $18 million. “The number they gave me was approximately $3 million, give or take,” he said. That was before the ADA and new smoke requirements. While the different options Russell presented all come in with different price tags, the staff’s pick, called 2D, would cost between $4 million and $5 million over the current budget. “The cost issues are nebulous at the moment,” Russell said. “We traditionally have a cost and I’ve been able to come in under those for most of the buildings we’ve built.” The original $18 million was part of the SPLOST VI package, which voters approved in 2009. Cost issues aside, Russell said the city needs to achieve a certain minimum number of objectives with the renovations, like bringing the elevators up to the ADA code. “In my mind, it would be penny wise and pound foolish to go ahead and fix the building without addressing these needs,” he said. “I think that we could be grandfathered in and we would not have to do [the changes], but in effect, at that particular time, you would have quite an investment in a building that didn’t meet the current standards for both ADA and for the fire safety issues.” And while there are several other things the city would like to accomplish with

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the renovations, all of which have merit, Russell said he was most concerned with the fire safety issues. “The smoke issue drives the train in this case because it is a life safety issue and that was the requirement the fire marshal would have made us do anyway,” he said. “We might have gotten by with the elevators, but at that point it doesn’t make any difference.” Even if they could fight the smoke issue, he said, taking care of the problem makes good sense. “Let me guarantee you that the second day it was open we’d have a fire,” Russell said. “That’s just the way it works, and I would hate to have to answer the question that I knew it was an issue and didn’t take any action to fix it.” The project options Russell offered range from totally replacing the building, estimated to be a prohibitive $60 million, to a complete renovation, including the construction of the new elevator tower, which would come in at about $29 million, or about $11 million higher than what the project was budgeted for. The pros of the full renovation are obvious — the total project would be ADA code compliant and it would take care of the smoke safety issue. In fact, it represents the fastest and overall the least costly manner to finish the entire building. The cons, however, are just as obvious — the city

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doesn’t have the extra $11 million. At the other end of the spectrum, the commissioners could ultimately pick Option 3, which at $21 million is still $3 million over what the city can afford. Though it would finance the elevator tower, it would leave much of the building as it is. It provides the least cost, but also the least service. In addition to the safety and ADA compliance issues, one of the main desires has been to move the commission chambers to a more user-friendly space. “I believe one of the major goals we’re looking for is to provide us an opportunity so that we can broaden the public space there, making it more convenient to go forward with developing a space that actually lets more than 100 people participate in the government,” Russell said. “On numerous occasions we’re crowded and we’re full and we’ve got people standing in the halls, and in my mind that’s not how a representative government should operate.” The plan is to make the first floor customer friendly by fixing up the tax assessor’s office as well as the tax commissioner’s. It would also bring the commission chambers to an expanded space on the second floor. But given all the criticism surrounding the TEE Center and its parking deck, some wonder if starting in on the Municipal Building isn’t just starting

another controversy. “Actually, the building process for all the buildings has gone fairly well,” Russell said. “The sheriff’s building, the library — the building process is a piece of cake. It’s the politics around it that becomes the issue. The TEE Center is built beautifully and the parking deck keeps winning awards.” And even with the politics, Russell said, progress hasn’t always been as stymied as it’s seemed. “We’ve got a pretty good track record of doing things that never got done before in Augusta,” he said. “I think this commission and the one before this one, despite the differences on issues, have a record to be proud of. You look at our infrastructure with the roads and you look at the buildings we’ve put up and the way we’ve set ourselves in the future — people would kill for this.” Though money will continue to be an issue as the project gears up, Russell is reluctantly optimistic that the commission will find ways of bridging the gap. “Our credit is good and money is cheap at the moment,” he said. “And given the reception of the TSPLOST, I’m more positive than I was a couple weeks ago. I think our citizens, based on our performance in the past, are very cognizant of the fact that if you want something, you’ve got to pay for it.”

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SINGLE-MINDED By Patrick Merrell / Edited by Will Shortz

103 Throughout, in poetry 104 Gun, as an engine 106 It came between Kennedy and Bouvier 107 Composition of only four different notes 109 Occasional klutz? 114 Rail supports 119 Actor Jay 120 What’s that, in Tijuana? 121 Beginning magician’s arsenal? 123 Go on a brief youthful binge? 128 Low-cost prefix 129 “The Grapes of Wrath” figure 130 Test cheats 131 Pisa’s river 132 Truck rental name 133 Prying 134 “Little” comics girl 135 Flaw in logic

45 47 49 50 52 54 56 59 60

Some collectible Deco drawings Internet hookup letters Blow a fuse Participle suffix California’s historic Fort ___ Tender spots Seasick sea serpent of cartoons “___ people …” Locale for tapping, toping and tipping 62 Mountain ridge 67 “___ how!” 68 “Time is money,” e.g. 70 Is without 71 All over 72 Tried 73 Suspends 74 Suspend 75 Fox News competitor 76 Biblical land of wealth 77 Reese of “Touched by an Angel” Down 80 Actress Annette 1 They’re shiny even after being 81 “No argument here” burned 82 Deal maker 2 “Could be a problem” 85 Heavy recyclables 3 Hustle or bustle 86 Prefix with athlete 4 Beach item 88 Buckeyes’ sch. 5 Privateer Jean 89 Shaggy animal 6 Hamburg grr? 91 Cheers on 7 Draw over 93 “The Purple People Eater” singer 8 Dumbbell weight abbr. ___ Wooley 9 Money or Murphy 94 Fiddle with a lute, say 10 Seat, informally 97 Scruggs’s bluegrass partner 11 Labor 99 Muff 12 Nancy ___, first female member of 100 One side in court the British Parliament 105 Jaws on a table 13 Sign on a sidewalk food cart 108 Bulova 14 Went back and forth on a decision competitor 15 1944 Nobel physicist Isidor 110 Puccini’s Floria ___ 16 Suffix with buck 111 Runic letter for “th” 17 Informed of 112 General Rommel 18 Sounds that may accompany head- 113 Kind of cavity shaking 114 “Good buddy” 24 Stewpot 115 Somewhat blue 26 Jew : kosher :: Muslim : ___ 116 Hymn starter 29 ___ d’Or (Cannes award) 117 Loudness unit 31 Decorative flower arrangements 118 Biol. and others 32 Have-not 122 Set of answers 33 High standards 124 Eastern sash 34 Curse 125 Danish coins 35 Linguist Chomsky 126 Carrier to Tokyo 40 Prepare for sacrifice, in a way 127 Outdo 42 Daze 43 “Happens sometimes” 44 Silas of the Continental Congress

1

2

3

4

5

19

6

7

23

10

24

32

29

34

37

53 58

49

50

55 59

84

90

85

91

96

67

40

41

62

68

69

72

73 79 87 93

45

80

81

82

100

101 105

110 111 112

106 113

119 122

63

95 99 104

109 118

121

44

89

103

114 115 116 117

43

70

88

98

108

42

74

94

97

107

18

52

78 86

102

17

36

61

92

16

57

66

71

15

26

51

60

77

83

14

56

65

76

13

30

39 48

54

64

12

22

35

38 47

11

25 28

33

46

75

9

21

27 31

8

20

120 123

124

125 126 127

128

129

130

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134

135

PREVIOUSPUZZLEANSWERS

Across 1 Cover-up 5 ___ machine (restaurant fixture) 10 Crossroads of the West 14 Green eyes, e.g. 19 “Alice in Wonderland” character 20 Like a land baron 21 O.K. 22 Yields 23 Disappointing “Who’s with me?” response? 25 Work to maintain a C average? 27 Certain Ivy Leaguer 28 Bit of a TV reviewer’s review 30 Film credits list 31 Mention that you know a secret? 36 It’s cast and landed 37 Digs 38 Downed subs, e.g. 39 Mauna ___ 41 Rarely photographed half of the moon 46 Thought better of 48 Grunt no more 51 One who’s read an encyclopedia’s first volume? 53 Give ___ (let off) 55 Again 57 Old gold coin 58 Podunk’s directory? 61 Think about it 63 It might be surrounded by a sash 64 Grandfathers of III’s: Abbr. 65 Pay one’s dues again, say 66 James of “Las Vegas” 69 Some French wines 71 Having finished just one month of a job? 75 Trendy 78 Star of the most-watched TV episode ever 79 Formic acid sources 80 Overalls part 83 Wasted no time 84 Abbr. before a year 87 What one with a small nest egg enjoys? 90 Islander, e.g. 92 Least refined 95 South American invention 96 Despot’s concession? 98 Milked 101 Sulu’s superior 102 It no longer sells maize or mulberry

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M A C A W

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E N E R O

E W H W A T D E A M M A M I E L

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A G O R A E

M A N A G E

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Le Chat Noir couldn’t have chosen a more perfect time to show “November,” a 2007 comedy by David Mamet about a president dealing with the fact that he might just lose his second election that is just days away. The production, which stars Roy Lewis, Ted Newton, Jaimee Wheeler, Chris La Mantia and Austin Rhodes, shows at the downtown theater August 16-18 at 8 p.m. To buy tickets, call 706-722-3322 or visit lcnaugusta.com.

ENTERTAIN

ME Arts

Exhibitions

Outsider and Artist: Hutty and the Soul of a City, part of the Art at Lunch series that features author and archivist Harlan Green discussing Alfred Hutty, is Friday, August 17, at noon at the Morris Museum of Art. $10, members; $14, non-members, with lunch provided by French Market Grille. Paid reservations required. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org.

Number 2 and Number 3, an exhibition by Philip Morsberger and Tom Nakashima, shows through September 13 in the Mary S. Byrd Gallery of Art at ASU. Call 706-667-4888 or visit aug.edu.

Augusta ArtWalk, a one-day art show presented in concert with the Commons Jazz Festival on Sunday, September 2, from 2-5 p.m. at the Augusta Common, is looking for artists to display a variety of media, including painting, jewelry, fiber, photography, ceramics and more. Applications, available online are due Wednesday, August 22. Visit gardencityjazz.com. Active-duty military personnel and their families will receive free admission to the Morris Museum of Art through Sunday, September 2, as part of the museum’s participation in the Blue Star Museum program. Call 706-7247501 or visit themorris.org. Day of Art, hosted by the North Augusta Artists Guild, is each Tuesday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. at the Arts and Heritage Center and includes a group of artists painting in the center who will answer questions or allow visitors to join in. Call 803-441-4380 or visit artsandheritagecenter.com. 18 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Double Take, a Clay Artists of the Southeast exhibition, shows at Gallery on the Row throughout the month of August. Call 706-724-4989 or visit galleryontherow.com. Surrealism at Gaartdensity: Works by Brian Stewart and Blaine Prescott shows in August at Gaartdensity Gallery downtown. Call 706-466-5166 or email gaartdensitygallery@rocketmail.com. Social ARTifacts: A World Vision Through Art, shows through September 29 at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History. Call 706-724-3576 or visit lucycraftlaneymuseum.com. The Art of Alfred Hutty: Woodstock to Charleston, including 60 oil and watercolor paintings, pastel drawings, etchings, drypoints and lithographs, shows through October 28 at the Morris Museum of Art. Call 706-7247501 or visit themorris.org. Strange Fruit: Lithographs by Joseph Norman is on display at the Morris Museum of Art through September 16. Call 706-724-7501 or visit

themorris.org. Painters Freddie Flynt and Tricia Mayers exhibit their work at Sacred Heart Cultural Center through August 31. Call 706-826-4700 or visit sacredheartaugusta.org. Hamburg: The Forgotten Town, an historical exhibit on the town which flourished on the South Carolina banks near the modern Fifth Street Bridge, shows through August 24 at the Arts & Heritage Center of North Augusta. Call 803-441-4380 or visit artsandheritagecenter.com. Tying the Knot, a display of wedding dresses and accessories from the late 1800s to the 1960s, now shows at the Augusta Museum of History. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org. ACA Summer Camp Exhibition, featuring the works of participants in the center’s summer art camps, shows through August at the Aiken Center for the Arts. Call 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org.

Music The Columbia County Amateur Series, featuring Kyle Smith, Firisky Bizness and Whitney Wise, is Friday, August 17, at 7 p.m. at the Columbia County Amphitheater. Call 706-868-3349 or visit columbiacountyga.gov. 16AUGUST2012

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Twilight Music Series is Saturday, August 18, from 6:30-8:30 p.m., beginning at Patriot Boat Tours behind the Marriott on the Riverwalk. Music by Michael and Dave. Participants are invited to bring drinks and dinner. $25, with pre-registration required. Call 803730-9739 or visit patriottourboat.com. Hyland Brooks performs as part of Garden City Jazz’s Candlelight Jazz Series on Sunday, August 19, at the 8th Street River Stage downtown at 8 p.m. $6; free, those 12 and under. Visit gardencityjazz.com. 2012 Hopelands Summer Concert Series, featuring Ken Gabriel, is Monday, August 20, at 7 p.m. at Hopelands Gardens in Aiken. Participants should bring lawn chairs and blankets. Free. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. The Salvation Army School of the Performing Arts holds classes each Tuesday. Included is instruction in piano, drums, guitar, voice and brass. Call 706-3644069 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Literary Brown Bag Book Discussion is Thursday, August 16, at 11:30 a.m. at the Columbia County Library and will discuss “Night Circus� by Erin Morgenstern. Call 706863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. Book Club meets Thursday, August 16, at 4 p.m. at the Harlem Branch Library to discuss “Plain Promise� by Beth Wiseman. Call 706-556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org. It’s Your Book Club meets Thursday, August 16, at 6:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library to discuss “It Worked for Me� by Colin Powell. Call 706821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Friends of the Library Lobby Book Sale is Saturday, August 18, from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Book Signing is Saturday, August 18, from 5-7 p.m. at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History. $2. Call 706-724-3576 or visit lucycraftlaneymuseum.com. Monday Night Book Discussion, featuring the Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins, is Monday, August 20 at 6 p.m. at the Columbia County Library. Call 706863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. CSRA Writers meet Monday, August 20, at 6:30 p.m. at Georgia Military College on Davis Road. Writers needing a support group are invited to attend and bring 10 copies of a manuscript to be critiqued. Call 706-836-7135. Dickens in America, a presentation by historical actor Howard Burnham who will portray the author after his 1867 tour of America, is Tuesday, August 21, at 7 p.m. at the Aiken Public Library. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org. Book Around Town, a restaurant and book club, meets Wednesday, August 22, at 6 p.m. to discuss “Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children� by Ransom Riggs. Call to reserve a spot and find out August’s featured restaurant. Call 706-791-7323 or visit fortgordon.com. Nook tutorials at Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall 16AUGUST2012

are each Saturday beginning at noon, followed by a Nookcolor tutorial at 12:30 p.m. Free. Call 706-7370012 or visit bn.com.

Dance Tango Night is every Thursday, 7-9:30 p.m., at Casa Blanca Cafe, 936 Broad Street. Call 706-504-3431 or visit casablancatime.com. Belly Dance Class is every Tuesday at 6 p.m. at Euchee Creek Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. Augusta International Folk Dance Club meets Tuesday nights from 7:30-9:30 p.m. at the Augusta Ballet Studio on 2941 Walton Way. No partners needed. First visit free. Call 706-399-2477.

Theater “The Prince Is Giving a Ball,� a production of the Enopion Theatre Company, shows August 16-18 and 25 at the Kroc Center. Thursday and Friday shows are at 7 p.m. and Saturday matinees are at 3 p.m. $15, adults; $10, seniors, children 12 and under and groups of 10 or more. Call 706-771-7777 or visit enopion.com. “November,� a play by David Mamet, shows at Le Chat Noir August 16-18 at 8 p.m. Call 706-722-3322 or visit lcnaugusta.com. “Seussical: The Musical,� a production of the Augusta Jr. Players, shows Friday, August 17, at 7:30 p.m. and Saturday, August 18, at 3:30 and 7:30 p.m. at Greenbrier High School. Tickets, available at the door, are $12 for 13 and up and $8 for 12 and under. Call 706-826-4707 or visit augustaplayers.org. “Uncle Fang-En-Stein’s Last Show,� a production of Aiken Community Playhouse’s Black Box Theatre, shows August 17-18 and 24-25 at 8 p.m. and August 19 at 3 p.m. at the URS Center for the Performing Arts. $20, adults; $17, seniors; $12, students; $7, children under 12. Call 803-648-1438 or visit acp1101.com. Augusta Mini Theatre Day is Sunday, August 19, at 11 a.m. at Williams Memorial CME Church with guest speaker Rev. Forrest D. Robinson, a Mini Theatre alum. The public is invited. Call 706-722-0598 or visit augustaminitheatre.com. Crew calls, to help build the set for the Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre’s upcoming production of Agatha Christie’s “Witness for the Prosecution,� are going on Monday-Friday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m., through September 20. Needed are carpenters, painters, lighting techs and more. Volunteers should call director Steven Walpert at steven.r.walpert.naf@mail.mil.

Flix Rifftrax Live: “‘Manos’: The Hands of Fate� shows Thursday, August 16, at 8 p.m. at Regal Augusta Cinema. It includes the stars of “Mystery Science Theater 3000� who take on one of the worst movies of all time. Visit regmovies.com.

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“Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax� shows Saturday, August 18 at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. “The Hunger Games� shows at noon and 3 p.m. at the

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Aiken Public Library on Saturday, August 18. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org.

and more for sale, as well as live music and entertainment. Call 706-627-0128 or visit theaugustamarket.com.

“Bernie” shows Tuesday, August 21, at 6:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Free. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Health

Special Events Augusta Area Newcomers Club Welcome Coffee for prospective members is Thursday, August 16, at 10 a.m. Pre-registration required. Call 706-495-9064, 706-868-3668 or visit augustanewcomers.net. Third Thursday Inshop Tasting is Thursday, August 16, from 5-8 p.m. at Wine World in North August. $5, with $3 rebate upon purchase of one of the night’s featured wines. Call 803-279-9522 or visit wineworldsc.com. The Wines of the Loire Valley, a tasting featuring 11 wines, is Friday, August 17, at 7 p.m. at Wine World in North Augusta. $15, pre-paid registration; $20 at the door, if space is available. Call 803-279-9522 or visit wineworldsc.com. Single Parents Fair, featuring resources for parents and kids including free health and dental screenings, kids haircuts, oil changes, car washes, a farmers market, face painting and more, is Saturday, August, 18, from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at Vineyard Church of Augusta. Call 706-863-9766 or visit vineyardaugusta.org. GRU Protest is Monday, August 20, at noon at ASU’s Doug Barnard Amphitheater for those who dislike the Georgia Board of Regent’s recent decision to change the name of the merged university to Georgia Regents University. Visit facebook.com/notogru. Weekly Wine Tastings at Vineyard Wine Market in Evans are each Friday from 4:30-6:30 p.m. and each Saturday from 1-6 p.m. Call 706-922-9463 or visit vine11.com. The Augusta Market at the River is every Saturday through October 27 from 8 a.m.-2 p.m. at the 8th Street Bulkhead and features produce, arts and crafts

20 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Mobile Mammography Screenings, offered by appointment, are available August 16 at University Hospital, August 17 at Walmart in Aiken, August 20 at the Columbia County Government Complex, August 22 at Kimberly Clark and August 23 at Bi-Lo on Fury’s Ferry Road. Appointments can be made from 8 a.m.-3 p.m. each day. Call 706-774-4145 or visit universityhealth.org. Breastfeeding Class is Thursday, August 16, from 7-9 p.m. at Babies R Us. Pre-registration required. Call 706-774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org. The Happiest Baby on the Block Educational Session, an infant sleep seminar, is Thursday, August 16, at 7 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Preregistration required. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Young Women With Breast Cancer Support Group meets Friday, August 17, at 12:30 p.m. at University Hospital. Call 706-774-4141 or visit universityhealth.org. Lamaze Childbirth Education Class is Saturday, August 18, from 8:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-481-7727 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Look Good, Feel Better, a program for female cancer patients who want to maintain their appearance and self-image during treatment, is Monday, August 20, from 1-2:30 p.m. at Cancer Care Institute of Carolina at Aiken Regional. Pre-registration required. Call 803-641-6044 or visit aikenregional.com. Look Good, Feel Better, a program for female cancer patients who want to maintain their appearance and self-image during treatment, is Monday, August 20, from 5-7 p.m. at the American Cancer Society’s office. Pre-

registration required. Call 706-731-9900 or visit universityhealth.org. Total Joint Replacement Class is Tuesday, August 21, from 1-3 p.m. at University Hospital. Call 706-774-2760 or visit universityhealth.org. Babies, Bumps and Bruises, an infant CPR class, is Tuesday, August 21, from 7-9 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Pre-registration required. Call 706651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Prostate Cancer Support Group meets Tuesday, August 21, from 7-8:30 p.m. at Augusta Technical College. Call 706-868-8758 or visit universityhealth.org. Bariatric Seminar is Thursday, August 23, from 6-7 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Pre-registration required. Call 706-651-4343 or visit doctorshospital.net. Infant CPR Class is Thursday, August 23, from 7-8:30 p.m. at University Hospital. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org. Weight Loss Surgery Seminar is Thursday, August 23, at 7 p.m. at GHSU’s Cancer Center. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-721-2609 or visit georgiahealth.org/weightloss. Child Safety Seat Inspections and Car Seat Classes, sponsored by Safe Kids East Central, are offered by appointment at either the Safe Kids Office or Martinez-Columbia Fire Rescue. Call 706-721-7606 or visit georgiahealth. org/safekids. Joint Efforts, presented by Trinity Hospital of Augusta, meets every Thursday from 11-11:45 a.m. at Augusta Bone and Joint, and features a free seminar about knee and hip pain, treatments, medication, food and exercise. Call 706-481-7604 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

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Infant CPR Anytime Learning Program will be held Thursdays at 6:30 p.m. at the first floor information desk (west entrance) of Georgia Health Sciences University. Visit georgiahealth.edu.

Cardiac Support Group meets three times a year. For more information on meetings, as well as for pre-registration, call 706-774-5864 or visit universityhealth.org.

Basic Mouse and Keyboarding Skills Class is Monday, August 20, from 10 a.m.-noon at the Headquarters Branch Library. Valid PINES card and preregistration required. Call 706-821-2604 or visit ecgrl.org.

Multiple Sclerosis and Parkinson Disease Aquatics Class meets every Monday and Friday at noon at the Wilson Family Y. Free for members; $3 for non-members. Pre-registration required. Call Claudia Collins at 706922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org.

Adult Sexual Assault and Rape Support meets for group counseling. For more information, call 706-724-5200 or visit universityhealth.org.

Beginners Computer Class is Tuesday, August 21, from 10 a.m.-noon at the Headquarters Branch Library. Valid PINES card and pre-registration required. Call 706-821-2604 or visit ecgrl.org.

Heart Attack and Stroke Prevention Orientation is every Monday at 6 p.m. and Tuesday at 2 p.m. at University Hospital’s Heart & Vascular Institute (Classroom 3). Call 706-774-5548 or visit universityhealth.org. Adapted Wii Special Populations available by appointment at the Wilson Family Y, and feature individual ½-hour classes for physically and developmentally challenged individuals of all ages. $10, members; $20, non-members. Call Claudia Collins at 706-922-9662 or visit thefamilyy.org.

Support Skip to My Lupus meets Thursday, August 16, from 7-9 p.m. at Aiken Regional Medical Centers. Call 803-251-9413 or visit aikenregional.com. Prostate Cancer Support Group meets Tuesday, August 21, from 6-7:30 p.m. at GHSU’s Cancer Center. Call 706-721-0550 or visit georgiahealth. org. Burn Outpatient Support Group meets Wednesday, August 22, at 2 p.m. at the Chavis House on the campus of Doctors Hospital. Call 706-651-6660 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Diabetes Youth Support Group meets quarterly. For more information, call 706-868-3241 or visit universityhealth.org.

Narcotics Anonymous, sponsored by Trinity Hospital of Augusta, meets Fridays and Sundays at 7:30 p.m. Call 706-855-2419 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. AA meets every Sunday and Wednesday at 7:15 p.m. at Aiken Regional Medical Center (Aurora Pavilion), and features an open discussion. Call 800-322-8322 or visit aikenregional.com. Burn Support Group meets every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Doctors Hospital (Lori Rogers Nursing Library, JMS Building). All burn survivors, and their families and friends are welcome. Call Tim Dorn at 706-6516660 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Moms Connection, a free support group for new mothers and their babies, meets Tuesdays from 1-2 p.m. at Georgia Health Sciences Building 1010C. Call 706-721-9351 or visit georgiahealth.org.

Education Finding What You Need Online for Adults Class is Friday, August 17, at 10 a.m. at the Columbia County Library. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. American Civil War Living Historians will reenact two scenes as well as display uniforms, arms and equipment from the period on Saturday, August 18, from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. at the Augusta Museum of History. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

Word I Class is Wednesday, August 22, from 10 a.m.-noon at the Headquarters Branch Library. Valid PINES card and pre-registration required. Call 706-821-2604 or visit ecgrl.org. SRS Public Tours, including an overview presentation, safety briefing, Savannah River Ecology Lab tour and general driving tour, are Wednesday, August 22, from 12:30-4:30 p.m. Pre-registration required. Call 803-9528994 or email laurie.posey@srs.gov. Word II Class is Wednesday, August 22, from 2-4 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Valid PINES card and pre-registration required. Call 706821-2604 or visit ecgrl.org. Beginners E-Mail Class is Thursday, August 23, from 10 a.m.-noon at the Headquarters Branch Library. Valid PINES card and pre-registration required. Call 706-821-2604 or visit ecgrl.org. The Dollar Dog Days of Summer goes on throughout the month of August at the Augusta Museum of History. During the month, admission is $1. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org. 27th Annual SEED, The Ruth Patrick Science Education Center’s Science Education Enrichment Day, is now accepting exhibit proposals from CSRA organizations who want to present the fun and excitement of science through hands-on, interactive exhibits, performances, demonstrations and entertainment. This year’s theme is Ignite Your Mind. Call 803-641-3474 or visit http://rpsec.usca.edu/SEED/.

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Free Tutoring for all ages, offered by ASU’s Literacy Center, is available by appointment Mondays-Thursday, from 4-8 p.m., at the center at 1401 Magnolia Drive. Appointments required. Call 706-737-1625 or visit aug. edu. GED classes meet weekly at the Kroc Center. Preregistration required. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Work Networking Group is held each Monday from 8:30-10 a.m. at Grace United Methodist Church in North Augusta. A networking and informational meeting for anyone looking for a job, the group meets in room 206 of the Asbury Building and is facilitated by career and business professionals. Call 803-279-7525 or email doctor@pritchardgroup.com. Computer classes are offered every Thursday at 6 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org. ESL classes are offered every Wednesday at 6 p.m. at Headquarters Branch Library (Third Floor Writing Lab). Pre-registration required. Call Charles Garrick at 803279-3363 or visit ecgrl.org. Intermediate Spanish Language Class is each Monday from 2:30-4 p.m. at Friedman Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Beginner’s Spanish Language Class is each Monday from 4-5 p.m. at Friedman Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org.

Benefits Karma Yoga is offered at Just Breathe Studio, downtown Aiken, each Friday at 10 a.m. and is free if participants bring a donation of a personal item, which will be given to the Cumbee Center to Assist Abused Persons. Call 803-648-8048 or visit justbreathestudio. com.

The Augusta Fencers Club is open five nights a week from 5:30-9 p.m. and most Saturday mornings from 10 a.m.-noon. Visitors always welcome. Call 706-7228878. Thursday Night Chain Reaction Ride begins at 6 p.m. each Thursday at Patriots Park in Grovetown. For intermediate to fast-paced cyclists, who average 25-32 miles. Participants should bring their own water and helmet. Call 706-855-2024 or visit chainreactionbicycles.net. Riverview Disc Golf League meets each Thursday at 6 p.m. at Riverview Park in North Augusta. $5 entry fee and $1 ace pool. Call 803-215-8181 or visit augustadiscgolf.com. Road Bike Ride meets each Thursday at 6:30 p.m. at Andy Jordan’s Bicycle Warehouse downtown for an approximately 25-mile ride at a moderate to fast pace. Front and rear lights, as well as a helmet, are required. Call 706-724-6777 or visit andyjordans.com. Guided Trail Rides at Hilltop Riding Stables at Fort Gordon are available Saturdays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m., noon, 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m.; Sundays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m. and noon; and Wednesday-Friday at 11 a.m. with reservations 24 hours in advance. All trail rides are on a first-come, first-served basis, and participants should arrive 30 minutes prior to the trail ride starting for sign in procedures. $23-$30. Call 706-791-4864 or visit fortgordon.com. Zumba with Sohailla is every Saturday from 10-11 a.m. at the Ballroom Dance Center in Evans. Call 706-4216168 or visit zumbawithsohailla.blogspot.com.

Sports-Outdoors

Saturday Historic Trolley Tours are Saturdays from 1:30-3:15 p.m. at the Augusta Museum of History. Reservations required 24 hours in advance. $12. Call 706-724-4067 or visit augustamuseum.org.

5K for the Fight, proceeds from which will go toward Mike Barcikowski’s medical bills from three rounds of cancer, is Saturday, August 18, at 8 a.m. at Savannah Rapids Park. $25. Registration begins at 7 a.m., and same-day registration is at 7:45 a.m. Email 5kforthefight@gmail.com.

Lakeside Rideouts at Hilltop Riding Stables at Fort Gordon are each Sunday beginning at 1:30 p.m. on a first-come, first-served basis. The ride, which begins at 2 p.m., is a two-hour guided ride to Wilkerson Lake. $45-$50. Call 706-791-4864 or visit fortgordon.com.

The Augusta GreenJackets play the Greensboro Grasshoppers Thursday, August 23, at 7:05 p.m. at Lake Olmstead Stadium. $7-$11. Call 706-736-7889 or visit greenjacketsbaseball.com. BlazeSports Swim Team, for all ages of physically challenged swimmers who want to train for competition, meets at the Wilson Family Y. $35 a month, members; $50 a month, non-members. Preregistration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. Wheelchair Tennis is each Monday at 6 p.m., weather permitting, at the Club at Rae’s Creek. Free and open to the public. Call 706-826-5809 or visit alsalley@ wrh.org. Augusta Canal Boat Tours lasting one hour are offered Monday-Saturday at 10 a.m., 11:30 a.m., 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m., and Sunday at 1:30, 3 and 4:30 p.m. All tours include admission to the Augusta 26 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Canal Interpretive Center. Call 706-823-0440 or visit augustacanal.com.

Weekly Group Runs include the Monday Metro Run meeting at Metro Coffeehouse at 6 p.m.; Monday Intervals meeting at the Family Y track on Wheeler Road at 7 p.m.; the Tuesday Nacho Mama’s Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday’s Blanchard Woods Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday Stay in Shape Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday’s Post Office Hill Training Run at 7 p.m.; Thursday’s Homer Hustle at 6 p.m.; and Saturday’s Stay in Shape Run at 8 a.m. For more information, visit augustastriders.com. Kroc Trotters Running Group meets Tuesdays at 6:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Free for members. Call 706364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Hott Shott Disc Golf is each Wednesday at 7 p.m. at Killer B Disc Golf, 863 Broad Street, and features games and prizes for all ages and skill levels. $2. Call 706-814-7514 or visit killerbdiscgolf.blogspot.com/p/ hott-shott. 16AUGUST2012

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Kids Beat the Heat Craft Workshop, for those ages 3-5, is Thursday, August 16, at 11 a.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. Participants should bring glue, crayons and markets and pre-registration is required. Call 706736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. Safe Sitter, a babysitting safety course for those ages 11-13, is Saturday, August 18, from 8:45 a.m.-4 p.m. at GHSU’s Safe Kids office. $35, including lunch. Pre-registration required. Call 706-721-7606 or visit georgiahealth.org/safekids. Parents Night Out at the Family Y of Aiken County is Saturday, August 18, from 5:30-9 p.m. For ages 2-12. $12, members; $20, non-members. Pre-registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. “Pinocchio,” a production of the Patchwork Players, is Wednesday, August 22, at 9:30 and 10:30 a.m. at ASU’s Maxwell Theatre. $3; $2 per person for groups of 15 or more. Call 706-729-2045 or visit aug.edu. Hickory Hill at the Watson-Brown Foundation are looking for high schoolers to server on its Junior Board, which makes grants to assist with historic preservation projects in the CSRA. Applicants must be in high school in Columbia, Richmond, Lincoln, Elbert, Wilkes, Warren, McDuffie, Jefferson, Taliaferro, Glascock, Burk, Aiken or McCormick counties and must be able to attend board meetings once or twice a month on weekdays evenings throughout the school year. Applications, available online, are due September 14. Call 706-595-7777 or visit hickory-hill.org/juniorboard/about-hh-junior-board.html. Kroc Tots Activity Hour, featuring story time, crafts and more, is every Friday at 9 a.m. at the Kroc Center. Free, members; $1, non-members. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Free Junior Fitness Class, for those ages 7-12, meets Sundays at 3 p.m., Mondays and Wednesdays at 5:30 p.m. and Saturdays at 9 a.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Follow the Drinking Gourd shows Saturdays in August at 8 p.m. and Digistar Virtual Journey shows Saturdays in August at 9 p.m. at the DuPont Planetarium in Aiken. Digistar shows are $5.50, adults; $4.50, seniors; $3.50, 4K-12th grade students; $1, USC-A students, faculty and staff. General shows are $4.50, adults; $3.50, seniors; $2.50, 4K-12th grade students; and $1, USC-A students, faculty and staff. Call 803-6413654 or visit http://rpsec.usca.edu/planetarium. Zumbatonic, a Zumba class for kids, meets Wednesdays at 4:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Preschool Story Time is every Tuesday at Headquarters Branch Library at 10 a.m. Toddler Story Time is every Wednesday at 10 a.m. Group registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is every Tuesday at 10 a.m. at Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Groups of six or more must preregister. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org.

Story Time is every Tuesday at 10 a.m. at Friedman Branch Library. Groups of six or more must preregister. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is every Wednesday from 10-11:15 a.m. at Wallace Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time at the Columbia County Library is each Tuesday at 11 a.m. for those under 2; Monday, Wednesday and Thursday at 10:15 a.m. for 2-yearolds; and Monday, Wednesday and Thursday at 11 a.m. for preschoolers. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time at the Euchee Creek Branch Library, for all ages, is each Wednesday at 10:30 a.m. and each Thursday at 4 p.m. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl. org. Story Time is every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Harlem Branch Library. Call 706-556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org. Ceramics Class, for ages 14 and up, meets Mondays at 9 a.m. or 6 p.m., Tuesdays at 6 p.m., and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. in the Weeks Ceramics Center. Call 803-6427631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Toddler Time, free play for children ages 5 and under, is each Monday and Wednesday from 9:30-11:30 a.m. at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Wacky Wednesday Story Time is each Wednesday at 10 a.m. in the children’s department of Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall. Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com. Story Time is every Wednesday at Appleby Branch Library from 10:05-10:20 a.m. for toddlers 18 months-35 months, and from 10:30-11:15 a.m. for preschoolers ages 3 and up. Parent must stay with child. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org.

IN STOCK & ON DISPLAY

Story Time is every Wednesday at 10:15 a.m. for Pre-K, and either 11 or 11:30 a.m. for preschoolers at Aiken County Public Library. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org. Story Time is every Wednesday from 10:30-11 a.m. for toddlers and 11:15-11:45 a.m. for preschoolers at North Augusta Branch Library. Call 803-279-5767 or abbe-lib.org.

Academy for Lifelong Learning at USC-Aiken is now accepting registration for fall classes, which begin on September 6. Participants may attend as many classes as they like for $70 per semester or $140 a year. Call 803-641-3563 or visit aikenlearning.org. Golden Agers meets Mondays from 9 a.m.-noon at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta. org. Senior Computer Classes meet weekly at the Kroc Center. Pre-registration required. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

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Games for Seniors at the Weeks Center in Aiken include Rummikub each Thursday from 9 a.m.-noon, Mahjong each Thursday from 1-4 p.m., Bridge each Friday from 11:30 a.m.-3 p.m., Bingo each Tuesday at 9 a.m., Pinochle each Tuesday from 10:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m., and Canasta on Tuesdays and Fridays from 11:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Silversneakers I is offered Mondays and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. and Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays at 11:15 a.m., while Silversneakers Yogastretch is offered Mondays and Wednesdays at 11:15 a.m. at the Weeks Center in Aiken. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Ceramics Class is offered at 9 a.m. on Mondays or Wednesdays and 6 p.m. on Mondays or Tuesdays at the Weeks Center. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Fit 4 Ever is offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken on Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays from 10-11 a.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Line Dancing is each Tuesday at the Weeks Center in Aiken at 10 a.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Yoga I and II are offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays from 8:45-9:45 a.m. and on Mondays and Wednesdays from 5:30-6:30 p.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Hobbies The Augusta Archaeological Society meets Thursday, August 16, at TBonz on Washington Road, beginning with dinner at 6:30 p.m. and a program by Tony Riley about Edgefield pottery and the Pottersville site at 8 p.m. Visit thesga.org. Give Your Family Tree a Harder Shake, a seminar presented by the

Augusta Genealogical Society that includes speakers, vendors and more, is Saturday, August 18, at the Headquarters Branch Library, with check-in between 8-8:45 a.m. Tickets required. Call 706-722-4073

a.m., youth Sunday school at 9:45 a.m., and a worship service at 11 a.m. Free. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Genealogy Class meets every Thursday at 1 p.m. at the Euchee Creek Branch Library. Limited to the first 15 students. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org.

The Morris Museum of Art is currently accepting applications for the 2012 new docent class for the 12-session training program that begins in September. Candidates must commit to one year of service following the training and no prior experience is required. Call 706-828-3865 for more information and an application. Visit themorris.org.

Introduction to Crochet Class meets every Monday in August from 4:306:30 p.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. Learn How to Crochet, a Lunch & Learn Series, meets every Tuesday in August from 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library and participants will learn how to make a winter scarf. Pre-registration required. Call 706-821-2604 or visit ecgrl.org.

Spiritual Ignorance of the Law is Not a Defense, a youth conference at Mt. Zion Missionary Baptist Church, is Saturday, August 18, at 8:30 a.m. The event features guest speakers, including Judge Wade Padgett, on topics such as laws, drugs, gangs, bullying, college and career preparation and more. Parents are invited to attend along with their children. Call 706-589-6410 or 706-495-8482. Bible Teaching Seminar, featuring the topic the fall of Jericho, is Saturday, August 18, at noon at the Friedman Branch Library. Visit donaldsao.com. Food, Faith and Fitness, a women’s group, meets each Tuesday at 6 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Morning Manna, a community devotion time, meets Wednesdays at 11 a.m. at the Kroc Center. Free. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Volunteers

Hospice Care of America’s Augusta office needs administrative and patient care volunteers. No experience necessary; training will be provided. Call Rich Boland at 706-447-2626 or email rboland@msa-corp.com.

Elsewhere “The Fox on the Fairway” shows Friday, August 17, at 8 p.m. and Saturday, August 18, at 3 and 8 p.m. at the Abbeville Opera House. $20, adults; $18, seniors; $10, students. Call 864-366-2157 or visit theabbevilleoperahouse.com. Scheutzenfest, a marksmen’s festival to celebrate the kickoff to the hunting season that includes a beauty pageant, parade, live auction, music, food and more, is August 21-25 from 9 a.m.-1 p.m. in Ehrhardt, S.C. Call 803-267-7850 or visit ehrhardtsc.com. Thursday Nights at the High, a special event at the High Museum of Art in Atlanta, offers half price tickets from 4-8 p.m. each Thursday. A guided tour is offered at 6:30 p.m. Call 404-733-4200 or visit high.org.

If you would like to see your organization’s events listed in our calendar, please email Amy Christian at amy@themetrospirit.com. The deadline for each Thursday’s issue is the previous Friday at noon.

Sunday activities at the Kroc Center include an adult Bible class at 9:30

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AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 29

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THE

BOX TOPS

Matt Damon? We don’t need no stinkin’ Matt Damon!

EIGHT

RANK

TITLE

WEEKEND GROSS

TOTAL GROSS

WEEK #

LAST WEEK

1

THE BOURNE LEGACY

$38,142,825

$38,142,825

1

-

2

THE CAMPAIGN

$26,588,460

$26,588,460

1

-

3

THE DARK KNIGHT RISES

$18,979,397

$389,588,216

4

1

4

HOPE SPRINGS

$14,650,121

$19,103,178

1

-

5

TOTAL RECALL

8,013,040

$44,101,432

2

2

“The Bourne Legacy”

SAMEIFLING

Is Jason Bourne the new James Bond?

Maybe Bourne is the new Bond, if you can accept that now Jeremy Renner, instead of Matt Damon, is playing a non-Bourne lead character in a movie called “The Bourne Legacy.” The legacy of Bourne, apparently, is to get a bunch of his peers whacked. Turns out there was a whole spider’s nest of government programs that not only trained the most lethal, unstoppable undercover agents in the world, it built them with gene treatments and neuroenhancers and, uh, viruses and cognitive something and… anyway, science! The shenanigans Bourne pulled in the first three “Bourne” movies lead Edward Norton’s super-spook character in this film to declare that this other program, the one that created Renner’s agent Aaron Cross, must be “burned to the ground.” Thus this movie with Bourne in the title is about the U.S. government trying to kill anyone who resembles Bourne. Repeat: It’s a Bourneless “Bourne” film about extirpating anything Bournelike. Trouble is, in the age of satellites and drone strikes, most of the real cat-and-mouse action between Cross and the covert agencies takes place at such a physical remove that it’s almost as if two parallel movies are unfolding. In Cross’ world, he’s fending off Alaskan wolves and smuggling himself around the States. In covert-ops world, Machiavellian nerds are sifting through data in a bunkerlike computer hive, trying to pinpoint Cross. Neither side has any direct contact with the other. Intellectually, it looks neat. Emotionally, it’s hard to get deeply invested when the protagonist is racing like a human cannonball and the antagonist is hunkered in a Mars rover command room. Cross does take a crucial detour to Maryland to save (just in the nick of time!) a scientist by name of Marta (Rachel Weisz). After an incident at her lab, where much of the medical voodoo for Cross and his superagent ilk goes down, she’s clearly going to be a target. She and Cross flee and make a dash for the Far East. All kinds of escapes ensue: They have to escape from security guards, then from a factory, then from local cops, then from a silent assassin (Louis Ozawa Changchien)

who’s as relentless as the liquid terminator in T2. The endless chases and relentless surveillance give “The Bourne Legacy” the feel of a Tex Avery cartoon with a dash of 1984. The pace is so frenetic that even inside 135 minutes the story feels short. After an admittedly awesome if interminable road chase, the movie doesn’t end so much as simply signal a pit stop before the inevitable sequel. Tony Gilroy directs (and shares the screenwriting credit with brother Dan Gilroy) after writing the first three “Bourne” films. He watched enough of Paul Greengrass’ direction in the other “Bourne” installments to have picked up the tics: the duck-andweave cinematography, the long overhead pans of rooftop running, the continual and amorphous action-movie score that heightens the drama even of such moments as boarding an airplane. He inflicts some truly terrible ideas onto Cross — watch him wrestle a live wolf! — and expects him to MacGyver his way out of other tight spots. It’s fun and all, but he never gives Cross much to decide in the way of moral or even tactical quandaries. Cross seems to have only slightly more free will than a torpedo. Renner, for his part, acquits himself well. He and Weisz manage to develop some foxhole chemistry as they run for their lives over and over and over again. He’s generally likeable. He might even be around for another couple of movies, but then what? He drops off the grid, and some other agent is Bourne again, with the camera shaking, and with the audience barely stirred.

THE8ERS Movie times are subject to change.

The Big Mo

Gates open at 7 p.m.; shows begin at 8:30 p.m. (approximately)

August 17-18 Field 1: The Expendables 2 (R) and Total Recall (PG-13); Field 2: Ted (R) and The Campaign (R); Field 3: The Bourne Legacy (PG-13) and The Dark Knight Rises (PG-13).

Masters 7 Cinemas

August 17-18 Savages (R) 6:45, 9:30; Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (R) 12:45, 4, 7, 9:50; That’s My Boy (R) 1:15, 4:15, 7:15, 9:50; Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted

30 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

(PG) noon, 1, 2:15, 3:15, 4:30, 5:30, 7:45, 10; Snow White and the Huntsman (PG-13) 12:30, 4, 7, 9:40; Men in Black 3 (PG-13) 12:15, 2:35, 5, 7:30, 10; The Hunger Games (PG-13) 1:30, 4:45, 8:30

Evans Cinemas

August 17-18 The Expendables 2 (R) 12:15, 2:40, 5:15, 7:40, 10:05; ParaNorman (PG) 12:30, 2:50, 5:10, 7:30, 9:55; Sparkle (PG-13) 1:30, 4:10, 7:20, 10:05; The Odd Life of Timothy Green (PG) 1:45, 4:20, 7, 9:40; The Bourne Legacy (PG-13) 1, 2, 4, 5, 7, 8, 9:50; The Campaign (R) 12:15, 1: 15, 2:25, 3:25, 4:35, 5:35, 6:45, 7:45, 9, 10; Hope Springs (PG13) 12:15, 2:30, 4:50, 7:10, 9:40; Diary of a

Wimpy Kid: Dog Days (PG) 12:40, 3, 5:25, 7:40, 9:55; Total Recall (PG-13) 1:30, 4:15, 7:15, 10; The Dark Knight Rises (PG-13) 1:15, 4:30, 8; The Amazing Spider-Man (PG-13) 3:45, 9:45; Ice Age: Continental Drift (PG) 12:20, 2:40, 5:05, 7:25, 9:45; Brave (PG) 12:45, 6:45

Regal Exchange 20

August 17-18 The Expendables 2 (R) 12:05, 12:30, 2:35, 2:55, 5:05, 5:30, 7:30, 7:45, 8:05, 10, 10:15, 10:40, 12:25, 12:40; ParaNorman (PG) noon, 2:20, 4:40, 7, 9:20, 11:40; Sparkle (PG-13) 12:05, 1:45, 2:05, 2:45, 4:25, 4:55, 5:25, 7:05, 7:35, 8, 9:45, 10:15, 10:40, 12:25; The Odd Life of

Timothy Green (PG) 12:30, 2:55, 5:25, 7:55, 10:25; The Bourne Legacy (PG-13) 1, 1:20, 4, 4:20, 4:40, 7, 7:20, 10, 10:20, 10:40, 12:15; The Campaign (R) 12:25, 1:15, 2:45, 3:30, 5, 5:40, 7:10, 8, 9:25, 10:15, 11:45, 12:30; Hope Springs (PG-13) 12:05, 2:25, 4:45, 7:15, 9:40, 12:10; Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days (PG) noon, 2:20, 4:40, 7:05; Total Recall (PG-13) 1:35, 4:25, 7:20, 10, 12:35; The Dark Knight Rises (PG-13) noon, 12:25, 3:30, 3:50, 7, 7:20, 10:25, 10:45; 2016 Obama’s America (PG) 12:40, 2:55, 5:15, 7:45, 9:55, 12:05; Ice Age: Continental Drift (PG) 12:05, 2:20, 4:40, 7:15, 9:40, 12:05; Ted (R) 1:40, 7:40; Madea’s Witness Protection (PG-13) 9:30; Brave (PG) 1:50, 4:30

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ACTION

“The Expendables 2,” rated R, starring Sylvester Stallone, Liam Hemsworth, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jason Statham, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Dolph Lundgren, Let Li. The second in whatever the hell the first of the series was. It doesn’t matter, though; people will go see this just to see all their favorite action stars together in one place. Except Vin Diesel. Apparently, he didn’t get an invite.

FAMILY

“ParaNorman,” rated PG, starring the voices of Kodi Smit-McPhee, Anna Kendrick, Christopher Mintz-Plasse. If your kid (or you) liked “Coraline,” or thinks every day of the year is Halloween, then “ParaNorman” should be creepy enough to satisfy you and yours until October 31 rolls around. It’s about a kid who can talk to the dead, and there are zombies and curses involved. “The Odd Life of Timothy Green,” rated PG, starring Jennifer Garner, Joel Edgerton. If you don’t already know what this is about, then you obviously don’t own a television and, therefore, haven’t been assaulted by Disney’s relentless marketing campaign. To us, it looks sappy and terrible, and we’re sure that something bad happens to Timothy in the end, just to make audiences cry. Give us ghosts, zombies and curses any day of the week.

DRAMA

“Sparkle,” rated PG-13, starring Jordin Sparks, Whitney Houston. It’s Whitney’s last movie… so does it really matter what it’s about? Didn’t think so.

WERECOMMEND

“Up”

Like all Disney/Pixar movies, “Up” has a message that works for kids as well as adults, but this animated film has the potential to leave some tears in your eyes, too. Ed Asner (of “Mary Tyler Moore Show” fame) stars as elderly Carl Fredricksen, or at least his voice does. Carl’s wife Ellie has died but he still remembers the dream they both had — to travel to a lost land in South America. As life moves on around him, Carl’s family encourages him to go to a retirement home. Then one day, Carl meets eight-year-old Russell, a wilderness explorer scout who tries to help Carl so he can get his assisting the elderly badge. What a pair. Russell is looking for adventure while Carl is trying to move on with life and away from a retirement home. The two join forces for a quest that could move mountains — or houses, at least! This 2010 Best Picture nominee did win the Oscar for Best Animated Feature Film of the Year, but the story is such a lively one, you almost forget you’re watching a cartoon. — Laura Perry

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Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Justin and Brook Izlar with Jessica and Justin Lawing at the Pizza Joint downtown.

SIGHTINGS

Nikki Ellis, Brittany Hodson and Katherine Wren at the Bee’s Knees.

Montana Hintermann, Michael Norris, Becky Shuman and Amber Courtney at Soy Noodle House.

SIGHTINGS

Erin Ashe, Brooke Arrington, Brett Johnson and Sally King at the Country Club.

Jenna Giello, Courtney Fehrenbach, Sandra Goddard and Brittany Murray at the Country Club.

SIGHTINGS

Christina Watson, Kate Spivey and Amy Grier at Metro Coffeehouse and Pub.

32 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Zach Smith, Claire Primrose and Leigh Harwood at Metro Coffeehouse and Pub.

Meisam Shodja, Cassey Broderick, Heather Summer and Joseph Shirey at Wild Wing Cafe.

Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Amanda Whisenhunt, Taffany Lykina and Jessica Whisenhunt at the Loft.

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Playing Catch Up The music world, 2007-2010

ANDYSTOKES

Last week I mentioned the span since I last put pen to page, and a brief summarization of major changes in the music scene in that time. Well, this week I feel compelled to tighten the lens on that period a bit more, honing in on a few specific events of note that I witnessed in the last seven or so years but wasn’t able to write about. And as a disclaimer, some readers may have no idea about what or who I’m mentioning here. But, you know, we live in the information age, where the layperson can go from complete oblivion to total expertise in minutes, so keep Google on standby. We’ll start in 2007: The Police announce plans to reunite at the Grammys in January, followed by a tour attended by grown-up versions of the same people who attended the last Police tour 23 years earlier, minus those who died. To their end, The Police prove they still had it — that is, the ability to childishly infight and play milquetoast versions of their already overplayed hits.

Chris Cornell leaves Audioslave in February. Those who are distraught by this occurrence hopefully notice a lack of significant activity in the musical world overall, and are hopefully more distraught by the realization that the world is in musical limbo rather than a disagreement among egotistical multi-millionaires. Britney Spears releases “Blackout,” her first album not to debut at No. 1, in late October. Progress. 2008 Over the course of this year, Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Pitbull, Ne-Yo and other garbage acts become popular. The musical equivalent of the movie “Bodysnatchers,” i.e., listeners’ hearts and brains becoming even more disconnected.

plane crash outside of Columbia, S.C., that claims the lives of four others in September. DJ AM (Adam Goldstein) is undeterred by the crash in his plans to overdose on heroin, which he does less than a year later. 2009 In February, singer Chris Brown is accused of assault against his former girlfriend, singer Rihanna. After a brief absence from the spotlight, Brown returns and his records continue to sell, proving that the mainstream music-buying public is as forgiving as an abused dog is of its owner, as long as their idols don’t say anything that conflicts with their political views. Phish reunites in March, for the first time in five years. Patchouli sales skyrocket.

Michael Jackson is found dead at his home on June 25. Fans in mourning try to remember the good, normal stuff, not the insanely weird stuff that constituted the second half of his career. This event overshadows pretty much everything else that happened this year. 2010 In early January, System of a Down pulls a head fake and pretends to start to get back together. However, their hiatus continues. For this, I am pleased. In a span of four months, we lose three distinct voices from three different genres: Teddy Pendergrass (R&B), Type O Negative singer/bassist Peter Steele (metal) and Guru of Gang Starr (hip-hop). No jokes here; I was saddened to see all three go.

In June, Arcade Fire releases its third album, “The Suburbs,” to the delight of soccer dads and anyone else needing a relevant band name to drop in musical conversations everywhere. My Bloody Valentine reunites for a string of shows, beginning around midsummer. If this means nothing to you, reevaluate your life choices. August 16 — Madonna turns 50. Yeah, I thought she was like 75, too. Blink 182 drummer Travis Barker and DJ AM narrowly escape death in a

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NEXT WEEK: July 2010-July 2012

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FEATURED

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August 16 16Thursday, Live Music

French Market Grille West - Doc Easton Smooth Jazz Joe’s Underground - Ruskin Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Live and Local Polo Tavern - Josh Hilley Sky City - Ruby Kendrick, The Ramblin’ Fevers Somewhere in Augusta - County Line Surrey Tavern - Rock Out Karaoke with Tony Williams and David Heath The Willcox - Classic Jazz Wild Wing - Tiki Barflys

The 15th Annual Bob Marley Tribute is Saturday, August 18, beginning at 9 p.m. at Sky City and features performances by Lady D, ATLDreamVision, DJ Spudd, DJ Neicko, Rebel Lion, Catherine the Great and Black Mango Bop. Brother Trav, Augusta’s poet laureate, will be the evening’s emcee. Tickets, $8, are available at Pyramid Music, Caribbean Soul Restaurant, Rebel Lion Den and Still Caribbean Restaurant.

What’s Tonight?

Casa Blanca - Thursday Tango Club Argos - Karaoke Cocktails Lounge - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Fox’s Lair - Soup, Suds & the Simpletons Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Highlander - Butt Naked Trivia The Loft - Karaoke The Playground - Open Mic Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Evans) - Karaoke The Playground - Open Mic with Brandy Shannon’s - Karaoke Soul Bar - Boom Box Dance Party Villa Europa - Karaoke Wooden Barrel - ’80s Night Karaoke

August 17 17Friday, Live Music

100 Laurens - John Rooks Carolina Ale House - Jim Perkins Columbia County Ampitheatre - Kyle Smith, Firisky Bizness, Whitney Wise Cotton Patch - Cella Country Club - Anthony Orio Coyote’s - Blackjack Billy Doubletree - Classic Jazz First Round - John Stoney Cannon, G-City Rockers Fox’s Lair - David Health and John Goudy French Market Grille West - Doc Easton Joe’s Underground - Ryan Abel and Friends Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Granny’s Gin The Loft - Stillview, Shotgun Opera Midtown Lounge - John Berret’s LaRoxes PI Bar & Grill - Jazz Duo Polo Tavern - Irritating Julie Shannon’s - Southern Meltdown Band Somewhere in Augusta - Dave Firmin Stables Bar & Restaurant at Rose Hill Estate -Savannah River Blue Grass Stillwater Tap Room - The Corduroy Road Surrey Tavern - Playback The Band w/ Tutu Dyvine Wild Wing - The Will

What’s Tonight?

Cocktails Lounge - Grown-Up Fridays with DJ Cork and Bull Pub - Karaoke Eagle’s Nest - Free Salsa Lessons; Latin Dance Party Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Iron Horse Bar & Grill - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke with Ryan Moseley Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke with Jeff Barnes Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Three J’s Karaoke 36 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke Palmetto Tavern - DJ Tim The Playground - Heartless DJs Rebeck’s Hideaway - Open Mic Roadrunner Cafe - Karaoke with Steve Chappel Sky City - Back to School 80’s Party Soul Bar - Pop Life Wooden Barrel - Karaoke Contest

August 18 18Saturday, Live Music

1102 - Seth Winters The Acoustic Coffeehouse - Open Acoustic Jam Session with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Cotton Patch - The Smoking Guns Country Club - Morgan Frazier Coyote’s - Blackjack Billy Joe’s Underground - The RiverSnakes P.I. Bar and Grill - Not Gaddy Jazz with Pam Bowman Polo Tavern - Irritating Julie Sector 7G - Panic Manor, 88 mph, Hooded Eagle Sky City - Bob Marley Tribute Concert Surrey Tavern - The Mike Frost Jazz Band Wild Wing - High Maintenance

What’s Tonight?

Club Argos - Variety Show Cocktails Lounge - Latin Night Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Fox’s Lair - Karaoke with Mario and Birkie Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Loft - DJ Richie Rich Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke with Rockin Rob Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Karaoke with Danny Haywood Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke The Playground - DJ 808, DJ Fugi Robbie’s - Saturday Night Dance Party Soul Bar - DJ Joycette Wheels - Live DJ Wooden Barrel - Kamikaze Karaoke

August 19 19Sunday, Live Music

5 O’Clock Bistro - Buzz and Candice (brunch) Candlelight Jazz - Hyland Brooks

Cotton Patch - Keith Gregory (brunch) Patridge Inn - Sunday Evening Jazz w/ the Not Gaddy Jazz Trio The Willcox - Jazz Jam Session Wild Wing - Brandon Hooker Duo

What’s Tonight?

Caribbean Soul - Love Jones Sundays Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke, Salsa Dancing Shannon’s - Karaoke with Peggy Gardner

August 20 20Monday, Live Music Hopelands Gardens - Ken Gabriel Shannon’s - Open Mic Night

What’s Tonight?

Applebee’s (Evans) - Trivia Club Argos - Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Trivia with Mike Thomas Somewhere In Augusta - Poker Tournaments Wild Wing - Trivia

August 21 21Tuesday, Live Music The Highlander - Open Mic Night Joe’s Underground - Happy Bones The Willcox - Piano Jazz Wild Wing -Sabo & Dave

What’s Tonight?

Club Argos - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Dart League Fox’s Lair - Trivia Trails Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Trivia The Playground - Truly Twisted Trivia with Big Troy Polo Tavern - Karaoke Shannon’s - Karaoke with Mike Johnson Somewhere In Augusta - Big Prize Trivia

August 22 22Wednesday, Live Music Joe’s Underground - Sibling String Wild Wing - Justin Brogdon

What’s Tonight?

Club Argos - Santoni’s Satin Dolls Cocktails Lounge - Augusta’s Got Talent Cotton Patch - Trivia and Tunes Hotel Aiken - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane The Loft - Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - DJ Mike Swift Midtown Lounge - Karaoke w/ Charles O’Byrne Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke The Playground - Krazy Karaoke with Big Troy Polo Tavern - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Somewhere in Augusta - Comedy Zone w/ Saints and Sinners Tour Surrey Tavern - Trivia

Upcoming

Jerod Gay - Joe’s Underground August 23 Boy Scout of America, Marsh Sound - Sky City August 23 Acosta - Wild Wing August 23 John Kolbeck - 100 Laurens August 24 Ray Piazolla - Cotton Patch Augusta 24 Larry Frick - Country Club August 24 Outer Banks - Polo Tavern August 24 Bare Knuckle Champions - Stillwater Tap Room August 24 Jeff Johnson - Somewhere In Augusta August 24 Tim Elliot & Catfish Cherry Band - Coyote’s August 24-25 QuietSTORM - Candlelight Jazz August 26 Aiken Concert Band - Hopelands Gardens August 27 Wayne Capps - Augusta Moonlight Music Cruise September 7 Brian Regan - Bell Auditorium September 20 The Packway Handle Band - Stillwater Tap Room September 21 Blair Crimmins and the Hookers - Stillwater Tap Room September 22 North Mississippi Allstars, Mssing Cats Featuring John JoJo Hermann and Sherman Ewing - Sky City September 25 16AUGUST2012

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Sheet Music?

Beck releases his weirdest album yet

Is it a tale of new levels of alcoholism when you create your own bar crawl? No, I was trying to prove that it’s safe to go downtown again. There was the return of First Friday, which went off without a hitch, but I knew I had to prove it to myself and all of my listeners/readers that downtown was a safe place to be, whether you were at the corner of Broad and 11th or the corner of Broad and Fifth. Three of my friends and I had our own bar crawl last Friday night that circled downtown Augusta. The journey started at Stillwater Tap Room. The rules: Take a right out of Stillwater and hit every bar that is open on the right side of the street, taking a shot or enjoying a beverage at every stop. When the bars stopped on the right side of the street, cross the street, and continue until you end up looped back around to Stillwater. Places that served food and strip clubs didn’t count. We only counted out strip clubs because of the large cover, large women and large stretch marks. The journey was a complete success. Sure, we went into a few bars where it seemed like we recreated the scene from “Animal House” when they walk in to see Otis Day and the Knights, but we were safe. There are actually some great bars near the end of Broad Street. Unfortunately the only downfall from this experience was the way I felt on Saturday morning… and Sunday morning. But I’m happy to report downtown Augusta is a safe place again. I’m glad I was able to take one for the team there, my liver does not thank you. Throughout the years, there have been many ways to release new albums. There have been exclusive box sets, albums only available on vinyl, some have taken the Radiohead route and only released albums on the web, and albums released where you could pay whatever you would like to pay for it. Well now it’s time for Beck to step in. The singer-songwriter has a new album coming out later this year and the only music you will get will be on paper. The new album is sheet music, never recorded, never released. Is this just Beck being lazy and actually getting someone else to play his music for him? I doubt it. This is Beck being Beck. The dude is weird, but he’s also a genius. Maybe Beck just wanted to release a novel and this is the only way he knows how. Without a doubt, the setup for this is going to be pretty damn cool. It will contain awesome artwork and a big challenge for the buyer. If you have the talent, once you figure out the tunes, you can submit your covers of his songs and, if it’s good, you’ll be featured on Beck’s website. This is the ultimate listener audition. The new album, “Song Reader,” will be released in December. Special treat for all you Incufans! The Incubus Live Bootleg Series is ready for download. The series features over a hundred Incubus live shows, with more than a thousand tracks to choose from for your downloading pleasure. New tracks will be added every Tuesday. If you plan on heading to the Honda Civic Tour featuring Linkin Park and Incubus in Atlanta this Sunday night, that show will be recorded as well. Reminds of the days when Pearl Jam was cool. I still love them. What bands are coming our way? What venue is the best in town? Email me at matt@themetrospirit.com.

MATTSTONE can be heard weekdays from 2-6 p.m. on 95 Rock. 16AUGUST2012

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LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) One of history’s most notorious trials took place in Athens, Greece, in 399 BCE. A majority of 501 jurors convicted the philosopher Socrates of impiety and of being a bad influence on young people. What were the impious things he did? “Failing to acknowledge the gods that the city acknowledges” and “introducing new deities.” And so the great man was sentenced to death. Just because many people believe something is true, valuable or important doesn’t mean it is. That’s especially crucial for you to keep in mind. It might be wise and healthy to evade at least one popular trend. Groupthink is not your friend.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) With all the homework you’ve done lately, you’ve earned a lot of extra credit. So I’m thinking you’ll get a decent grade in your unofficial “crash course” even if you’re a bit sleepy during your final exam. But just in case, here are the right answers to five of the most challenging test questions. 1. People who never break anything will never learn how to make lasting creations. 2. A mirror is not just an excellent tool for self-defense, but also a tremendous asset in your quest for power over yourself. 3. The less you hide the truth, the smarter you’ll be. 4. The well-disciplined shall inherit the earth. 5. You often meet your destiny on the road you took to avoid it.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) The Hubble Space Telescope has taken 700,000 photos of deep space. Because it’s able to record details that are impossible to capture from the earth’s surface, it has dramatically enhanced astronomers’ understanding of stars and galaxies. This miraculous technology got off to a rough start, however. Soon after its launch, scientists realized that there was a major flaw in its main mirror. Fortunately, astronauts were eventually able to correct the problem in a series of complex repair jobs. It’s quite possible that you will benefit from a Hubble-like augmentation of your vision in the next nine months. Right from the beginning, make sure there are no significant defects in the fundamentals of your big expansion.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) To some people, sweating is regarded as an indelicate act that should be avoided or hidden. But there are others for whom sweating is a sign of health and vigor. In Egyptian culture, for example, “How do you sweat?” is a common salutation. Align yourself with the latter attitude. It won’t be a time to try to impress anyone with how cool and dignified you are. Rather, success is more likely to be yours if you’re not only eager to sweat but also willing to let people see you sweat. Exert yourself. Extend yourself. Show how much you care.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) “Whatever I take, I take too much or too little; I do not take the exact amount,” wrote poet Antonio Porchia. “The exact amount is no use to me.” Try adopting that bad-ass attitude in the coming days. Be a bit contrarian, but with humor and style. Doing so would put you in alignment with the impish nature of the vibes swirling in your vicinity. If you summon just the right amount of devil-may-care jauntiness, you’ll be likely to get the most out of the cosmic jokes that will unfold.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) What is the longest-running lie in your life? Maybe it’s a deception you’ve worked long and hard to hide. Maybe it’s a delusion you’ve insisted on believing in. Or perhaps it’s just a wish you keep thinking will come true one day even though there’s scant evidence it ever will. Now would be a good time to try changing your relationship with it. If

you marshal a strong intention, you will be able to get the process underway.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) You may have heard the theory that somewhere there is a special person who is your other half — the missing part of you. In D. H. Lawrence’s version of this fantasy, the two of you were a single angel that divided in two before you were born. Personally, I don’t buy it. There are many possible soulmates for each of us. Any good intimate relationship generates an “angel” — a spirit that the two partners create together. This is an excellent time for you to try out this hypothesis. As you interact with your closest ally, imagine that a third party is with you: your mutual angel.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) You’ll be wise to shed your emotional baggage, purge your useless worries and liberate yourself from your attachments to the old days and the old ways. When you’re finished doing that, don’t hide away in a dark corner feeing vulnerable, sensitive and stripped bare. Rather, situate yourself in the middle of a fertile hub and prepare to consort with new playmates, unexpected adventures and interesting blessings. Reader Reya Mellicker sums up the right approach: “Be empty, not like the bowl put away in the cupboard, but like the bowl on the counter, cereal box above, waiting to receive.”

ARIES (March 21-April 19) These days you have a knack for reclamation and redemption. If anyone can put fun into what’s dysfunctional, it’s you. You may even be able to infuse neurotic cluelessness with a dose of erotic playfulness. So be confident in your ability to perform real magic in tight spots. Be alert for opportunities to transform messy irrelevancy into sparkly intrigue. By the way, how do you feel about the term “resurrection”? Strip away any previous associations you might have had, and be open to the possibility that you can find new meanings for it.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Tic-tac-toe is simple. Even young children can manage it. And yet there are 255,168 different ways for any single match to play out. The game of life has far more variables than tic-tac-toe, of course. You may be tempted to believe that each situation you’re dealing with can have only one or two possible outcomes, when in fact it probably has at least 255,168. Keep your options wide open. Brainstorm about unexpected possibilities.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) Here are the definitions of “mortar”: 1. A kind of cannon; 2. the plaster employed for binding bricks together; 3. a bowl where healing herbs are ground into powder. Now please meditate on anything you could do that might: 1. deflect your adversaries; 2. cement new unions; 3. make a container — in other words, create a specific time and place — where you will work on a cure for your suffering.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” was a mega-hit that sold well and garnered critical acclaim. But it had a difficult birth. When the band’s leader Kurt Cobain first presented the raw tune to the band, bassist Krist Novoselic disliked it and called it “ridiculous.” Cobain pushed back, forcing Novoselic and drummer Dave Grohl to play it over and over again for an hour and a half. The early resistance dissolved. Novoselic and Grohl even added their own touches to the song’s riffs. I foresee a similar process for you in the coming week. Give a long listen to an unfamiliar idea that doesn’t grab you at first.

ROBBREZSNY FREEWILLASTROLOGY@FREEWILLASTROLOGY.COM 38 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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VALERIEEMERICK

Helga’s Changes Hands

New owner keeps neighborhood bar feel, adds lunch

The rumors are true! Helga’s is under new ownership, but long-time patrons needn’t worry. According to former law school student and new owner Bryan Connor, “The same friendly neighborhood bar atmosphere will still be here.” And more importantly, no worries about the trivia nights, either — those aren’t going anywhere. So what makes a young, educated person want to delve into the joys and perils of bar ownership? Connor has been an entrepreneur since he was 16. “I think it’s a lot of people’s dream to have a bar,” explains Connor. “I was in law school in 2010 and decided it wasn’t for me the first year. Then when I came back to Augusta I bought a landscaping company and I grew that for about six months, and in the meantime I thought owning a bar was something I’d enjoy.” When Connor heard that Helga’s was on the market, he started coming out on trivia nights to get to know the place. “I’d been looking for a bar for about a year and when someone told me this one [Helga’s] was for sale I started visiting on trivia nights and I really enjoyed the crowd… a lot of my friends are at MCG so I really got along well with all the patrons. All the conversations I had here were really fun, it was just kind of like a hangout.” All the changes so far seem to be for the better, although regulars might miss the old “menu,” pieces of different colored construction paper that lined almost every inch of available space behind the bar with handwritten lists and prices. Connoisseurs will be 16AUGUST2012

happy to see that popular menu items like corn dogs, bacon cheese fries and pizza rolls (deep fried, of course), are still on the menu, but Connor has also added a few things like a grilled chicken plate and a barbecue sandwich. Regulars probably won’t miss the carpet, recently thrown out, or the upper part of the trellis that divided the bar down the center, making it especially difficult for those sitting in the back to properly participate in trivia. Those are both gone, opening up the small space and getting rid of a lot of the stale cigarette smoke smell in the process. The changes weren’t always without challenges, however, like cleaning the place up, for example. “It was a little less than a disaster,” says Connor. “We spent about 70 hours just in the kitchen.” Aside from getting rid of decades of grime, Connor has other plans to improve Helga’s. “I think we add a new friendly, younger vibe to the place. It’s a dive bar, but now it’s going to be a clean dive bar,” he says. “We’re going to offer some more healthy menu choices, maybe some grilled chicken here and a new salad or two — We’re starting to do lunch so we’ll be open 11:30 a.m. to close, Monday through Saturday. We have new drink specials every day — and then happy hour is from 11:30 a.m. to 7:30 at night… and that’s separate from our nightly specials.”

There will still be trivia on Thursdays and Saturdays, but Connor is working hard to fill the bar on other nights as well. “There are things I want to do to fill up some of the more dead nights, like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,” he says. “I’ve started doing a pint night on Mondays so hopefully that will catch on.” Other than that, it is business as usual at Helga’s. It’s still the little neighborhood bar we all know and love. “We’re really friendly and really appreciate the patrons,” says Connor. “ This is how I make a living so I want to make everyone feel comfortable here… like a big family.” Helga’s Pub & Grille 2015 Central Avenue, Augusta Monday-Saturday, 11:30 a.m.-close | 706-736-2880 AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 39

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WHINE

WHINELINE@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM

Have something you want to get off your chest? Send your whines to whineline@themetrospirit. com. If you do so by noon on Friday, you might just see it in the next Thursday’s issue. Oh, and whines may be edited for content but will pretty much be printed exactly as you type them.

LINE

thought for sure it would be renamed Georgia Occidental Developmental - a.k.a. GOD, because that’s all “ya’ll” talk about down here 24/7/365!

Times cannot change for the better until Augustans get rid of that prejudice Augusta Chronicle newspaper. Time to move forward for everyone. Kudos to the Metro Spirit publishers. I can’t believe the Paper Warehouse 13 Regents (and if you don’t understand that... maybe you should star t watching the best show on television...Monday nights at 9 p.m. on ScyFy - cheap promotional shot!) named the ASU/GHSU merger as Georgia Regents University. Although NOT one of its choices, I

rick allen runs a dir ty tricks campaign and as a former realtor, his tactics remind me of the dir ty hijinks of his realtor buddies from a large firm in town who are known for similar behavior. I guess if you lie down with the dogs you get fleas,RICK. if you do succeed i guess you’ll get more business for your company and your buddies bank!! What’s wrong with these parents that let their kids act up in restaurants? Screaming, running around, and the one that gets me the most, approaching my table and hanging

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706-724-2445 42 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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out. I want to enjoy my meal. I do NOT want to be disturbed by your kid! Have you no control over them, or do you just not care? Be a parent, or I’ll make sure you don’t enjoy your meal either. Goodbye Cowboy Mike. I was so sorry to hear you *really* retired from ASU! I hope you will go around to make appearances and speeches, please. Ethnics make up 14% of the US population, yet fill 60% of US prison space. What does that tell you? During the Two “Pre-Season NFL Games’ that I “Attempted” to watch, those “Spor ts Commentators” wouldn’t Shut Up! I mean, during the Atlanta Falcons Dismal Loss, as the “First Half Ended” , there was still hope! However, “Moe, Larry And Curly”, the Three Commentators’ Images Dominated the TV Screen! Then Throughout Saturday Evenings’ Carolina Panthers/Houston Texans Game”: SOS! If this is an “Example of the New Football Season” is going to be, Then I’d Suggest those “NASCAR Drivers” Get In Shape for a “YearRound Season”! At least during Their Races, the Commentators Add Some Enter taining, Insightful Information to the Races! NFL! Give Your “Spor ts Commentators” those “Talk Shows” that they Obviously desire! Let Us, Your Viewers, Enjoy the Game!

said “Wright McLeod’s campaign book-keeping was no worse than any other campaign”. He said “Rick Allen, Maria Sheffield and Lee Anderson all have the same identical type accounting errors”. I asked what was going on with this Savannah Repor ter? He said “the repor ter was par t of the larger conspiracy to take Wright McLeod out of the election and it looks like it did”. So that left me wondering from which campaign did the nasty trick of enticing a newspaper repor ter to smear just one par ticular congressional candidate over and over come from? Keep in mind that Maria Sheffield has now withdrawn, I looked at what is happened to Lee Anderson’s face book page and robo-phone calls being made against him and who is benefiting from all of this new corrupt campaigning? I am not saying Rick Allen is orchestrating this conspiracy. I am saying it appears he is the only candidate benefiting from it. While Rick Allen may be a good person, I won’t be suppor ting him for congress. With all of the Wright McLeod signs still in people yards a week after the recount, it appears a lot of Wright McLeod suppor ters are saying the same thing in their own way.

I know “all is fair in Love and War” so I thought their must be some morality in political campaigns. It appears I am wrong. Maybe the Nasty campaigners are supposed to win. I read most of the thir teen Savannah Morning News ar ticles written by Repor ter Larry Peterson on how corrupt the accounting was in the Wright McLeod Campaign for Congress. I called a friend that knows campaigning. He 16AUGUST2012

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