Metro Spirit 09.04.2003

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METRO SPIRIT Sept. 4-10 Vol. 15 No. 5

Augusta’s Independent Voice

Who Is Tom Tomorrow?


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WE DO IT ALL FOR LESS Exceeding Your Expectations

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Contents Metro Spirit

Have you out grown your tub?

ON THE COVER

S E P T

Who Is Tom Tomorrow? By Suzy Hansen .........................................18

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Cover Design: Erin Lummen

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FEATURES

A Penny for Your Thoughts: Augusta’s Sales Tax Debate Begins By Stacey Eidson .............................................................................................15

1-800-BATHTUB Over 1 million Installations Nationwide Since 1979 Bathtub liners • Shower Base Liners • Ceramic Tile • Acrylic Wall System • Shower Doors • Faucets • Vanities

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“WE PUT A NEW BATHTUB OVER YOUR OLD ONE”

Whine Line ......................................................................6 Words ...............................................................................6 This Modern World .........................................................6 Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down ............................................8 Suburban Torture ............................................................8 Insider ............................................................................10

Come visit our showroom!

Showroom Hours: M-F 9-6 • 4115 Columbia Rd, Suite 10 • Next to Kroger Office: 706-869-0750 • www.rebathaugusta.com

Start off your

Metro Beat

Summer New Smile

No Walking and Drinking This First Friday .................12 2003 On Stage Your complete guide to the season’s performing arts.

8 Days a Week .............................................................49

with a

Cinema

Movie Listings .............................................................55 Preview: “The Order” ...................................................58 Close-Up: Dave Spade .................................................59 Movie Clock ..................................................................59

Music

Jane’s Addiction: Still Misfits After All These Years ....60 Music by Turner ..............................................................62 Dashboard Confessional Album Sticks to Familiar Territory ...........................................................................63 Music Minis ....................................................................63 Night Life .........................................................................64

Stuff

Brezsny's Free Will Astrology ......................................67 New York Times Crossword Puzzle ............................67 News of the Weird ........................................................68 Amy Alkon: The Advice Goddess ................................68 Date Maker ...................................................................69 Classifieds .....................................................................71

M E T R O S P I R I T

S E P T E M B E R 4 - 1 0 • F R E E W E E K LY • M E T R O S P I R I T. C O M

Events

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EDITOR & PUBLISHER David Vantrease ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Rhonda Jones STAFF WRITERS Stacey Eidson, Brian Neill ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Joe White ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Kriste Lindler, Kristen Chandler PRODUCTION MANAGER Joe Smith GR APHIC ARTISTS Stephanie Bell, Natalie Holle, Erin Lummen ASSISTANT TO THE PUBLISHER Meli Gurley ACCOUNTING MANAGER/CLASSIFIEDS Sharon King ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT ASSISTANT Lisa Jordan CIRCULATION DIRECTOR Meli Gurley SENIOR MUSIC CONTRIBUTOR Ed Turner CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Chuck Shepherd, Rob Brezsny, Amy Alkon, Rachel Deahl CARTOONISTS Tom Tomorrow, Julie Larson

METRO SPIRIT is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks of the year. Editorial coverage includes ar ts, local issues, news, enter tainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publishers. Visit us at www.metrospirit.com. Copyright © The Metropolitan Spirit Inc. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. Phone: (706) 738-1142 Fax: (706) 733-6663 E-mail: spirit@metrospirit.com Letters to the Editor: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, Ga. 30914-3809

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Whine Line T

he truth finally came out last week when the Columbia County Commission chairman, Ron Cross, said that increases in assessments while the millage rate held steady was, in fact, a tax increase. Even the chief financial officer, Ms. DeLoach, has finally learned the art of multiplication and that the product increases when one of the factors is increased — either millage or assessed value. Now the question for those sterling leaders is how are you going to fix the ever-increasing taxes in Columbia County? We ask God to bless America, but why should he? In a country that kills millions of unborn babies every year, homosexuals are allowed to marry and adopt children and become the head of churches. We take God out of schools and now it seems out of all government places. We bow down to groups like the NAACP and the ACLU that want to take over our heritage because they do not like it; they say it offends them. People, it’s time to stand up before it’s too late. I love this country and have fought for this country but it’s not the country, it used to be. Maybe when your heritage, gun and Bible are gone, you’ll wake up I pray. When are parents going to learn how to be protective of their children? Youths are wandering the street late at night, mothers are putting their newborn babies inside back seats of cars and stepping back inside the house for something else,

and children are running around playing “tag” while some of the smaller ones are in tears searching for their mommies in stores. Then there is all the filthy language that adults use around the child and the dumb parents who bring their children in to see R-rated films with them. Children are supposed to be our future. But if this continues, a lot of them will not make it to adulthood. And it would be just our luck that the ones who do will most likely be the future occupants of our prisons! This is a whine for all of those who are saying that if Danny Craig gets appointed as a judge, that Bobby Christine should not be named District Attorney because he is deployed with the Army Reserves. That is crazy. If anything, the fact that he is serving his country is an additional reason why he should be the DA. Besides, having a veteran of the war in Iraq running as an incumbent may be the only way Republicans could hold on to the DA’s seat in the next election. Hey! If you find viewing the 10 Commandments on that Alabama Judicial Building offensive, don’t look at them. It is about time you got rid of Austin Rhodes. I enjoy reading the Spirit every week and now I will enjoy it much, much more. Way to go Spirit! The best thing you ever did was to fire the weasel Austin Rhodes.

Words “We ran images [from the war in Iraq] we otherwise might not have run. But that was war, and war was news. The photo we ran on Friday was neither, and I wish I had limited its display to the inside of the Living section.” — from a written apology from Hank Klibanoff, managing editor of The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, for running a photo on the Aug. 29 front page of the paper that showed Britney Spears and Madonna kissing. Apparently many readers complained over the risque nature of the photo. What they should have complained about was that this kind of crap constitutes the majority of entertainment in America today.

The folks at Metro Spirit cannot stand political diversity. Austin Rhodes was canned because he’s a conservative, and he was canned in a very cowardly way. That’s the trouble with liberals: They can’t stand to have their loony ideas challenged so they always respond by spinelessly silencing dissent. To the whiner who complained that the Metro Spirit does not print the right wing facts: What facts? The fact that the Bush administration lied about WMDs is to force this country into a war where over 200 Americans and thousands of innocent Iraqi women and children have died. Austin Rhodes still doesn’t get it, does he? In spite of his many ugly remarks, I don’t think Austin is a true racist. I think he is a snob wannabe. He adores people with money. He loves anyone, any color, as long as they have money. Twenty-five percent of our population lives below the poverty line and that’s a lot of people to despise. Austin should be at the peak of his career, but his negative attitude towards hard-working people will forever keep him in the shadow of Limbaugh and Borst. That’s where he should be. Goodbye Austin. You won’t be missed. First Friday was just fine until Chris Naylor and Austin Rhodes got involved in trying to control it ... but, I still support the artistic integrity of First Friday and just hope these two will leave it alone before they mess it up again!

Columbia County now wants to raise the business tax by 50 percent and a county spokesman said, “It’s not to control business, but to raise revenue.” That’s not just dumb, it’s dumbest! The county has raised every user fee, tax and assessment for the past 10 years just for revenue. Cross ran for Chairman under the guise of no tax increases, but assessments continued to go up and now higher business taxes. Not only did Cross lie, but he had no remorse. When is enough, enough for these county big spenders? I have found an easy solution to paying for the twits in the Airport Commission: I now drive one hour to Columbia, or two hours to Charlotte. Guess what? Great service, you avoid Atlanta and I do not have to worry about paying one penny to support the arrogant twits in the Airport Commission. Ken almost had me believe that performance counted, but luckily I got out before I invested too much. Thank you to WGAC for the “hometown” news and “hometown” host they offer the CSRA. WGAC just keeps getting better every time WBBQ screws up. I can play the CDs that I like; it’s the people at WGAC that keep me tuned in. Bye WBBQ! Here’s an idea for those Columbia County “Revenue Raisers” that will not only produce a lot of revenue, but will also please some of the taxpayers. Take the existing Rain Tax and apply it across the county from border to border so that continued on page 8


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continued from page 6 it applies to every property owner. More money will flow into the accounts, the grumble about unfair taxes will die and the current lawsuit will have no merit. I would like to provide some perspective to Marc Gottlieb and Denise Traina regarding their comments in the article “Reading, Writing and Religion?” Two things: The program is voluntary and there are only 17 kids out of how many in the ARC school system? I mean, really. The way you both talk leads people to believe that the Released Time Christian Education program is the plague. I applaud the 17 who have volunteered; they are the ones who are not doing what everyone else is doing! I would like to offer a much-deserved “hurrah” to Amy Fennell Christian, writer of the recent article “The Rise and Fall of WBBQ.” A very well-written article, indeed. There were a few times, while I read, that tears welled up in my

eyes as well as a few good chuckles. This article really touched home with me, as I am the oldest daughter of a 20year veteran employee of WBBQ. So, to you Amy Fennell Christian, I say, “Thank you. Thank you very much!” Yeah! The wicked witch is dead! Now, if only Comcast will realize the same and fire Rhodes, Augusta will be rid of him for good! Then he can stay in Atlanta where he belongs! David Vantrease, you have absolutely made my week. Distancing the Spirit from Austin’s weekly racist, misogynistic, bigoted banter took guts. I’m sure some of Austin’s redneck groupies will make a lot of noise, but I know I’m not alone in saying “good riddance.” The only thing that would have made it sweeter — seeing the look on Austin’s face when he heard he was canned. Thank you. Primetime TV has been reduced to brainwashing by the U.S. government.

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Thumbs Up Well, well. It seems those responsible for the shenanigans that have gone on at the Community Mental Health Center of East Central Georgia may finally have to answer for what they’ve allegedly done. A U.S. attorney in Savannah is looking into charges of criminal wrongdoing and financial impropriety surrounding Medicare and Medicaid dollars, according to The Augusta Chronicle. Some of the higher-ups at the facility have been rather cavalier in their

attitudes about criticisms leveled at the way the mental health center was run. Mental health activists balked when former state Rep. Robin Williams was awarded at least two lucrative consulting contracts from the facility. A whisteblower said the contracts were awarded, in part, because Williams had friends and relatives working at the center and serving on its board. Hopefully the feds won’t drag their heels. This one will be interesting to watch.

To Georgia Bank & Trust Company for its plans to open a full-service bank in the former Cotton Exchange building downtown. This historic structure was desperately in need of a new tenant after the Augusta Metro Convention and

Visitors Bureau left to move into Enterprise Mill. Bank officials have said they plan to leave many of the historic items that graced the lobby of the building, formerly the visitors center, intact.

Thumbs Down The photo on the front of the Aug. 30 edition of The Augusta Chronicle said it all: Your police state dollars hard at work. Depicted in the photo was a Georgia state trooper examining the license of a driver at the head of a long line of traffic stopped at a checkpoint. That’s right, a checkpoint, a concept that has been only too freely accepted as of late. The only thing missing in the photo was the

Russian fur hat and the steely command: “Your papers, please.” These officers should be driving on the roads and highways, observing motorists’ behavior, not stopping and questioning random motorists with no probable cause under their ostensibly magnanimous mandate of “safety.” Legal or not, it shouldn’t be taking place in the supposed “land of the free.”


“Homeland Security” is trying to prepare people for the day when they round up all Muslims and liberals and put them in concentration camps. TV shows: more and more trash daily. What’s with North Korea? Are they the “New Bullies on the Block”? Are they just too stupid to mess with U.S.? Maybe they just are not aware that Clinton’s gone! George W’s In! David, David, David. If you’re scared, say you’re scared. I for one am done with the Spirit until you grow a pair. Since you have finally came to your senses and got rid of Austin Rhodes, I strongly encourage you not to print any whines about his departure good or bad. If you are truly to move on, do so. Disregard any whines about Rhodes. Your mind has been made up so this man should be out of sight, mind, and out of the pages of your wonderful newspaper for good. P.S. I couldn’t help but notice that you dropped him on August 28th; the day MLK made his historical speech. The irony of it all ... I sure hope Larry can stay awake this time. This Parson kid — the one who made this computer worm which caused millions of dollars in damages — why would he do this? Then, he does not look like he dates much. Of course, all of that will change ... in prison! Whatever the reason, I am glad Austin Rhodes is no longer with the Metro Spirit. Why can’t people just get off it and deal with the fact that Augusta is trying to grow into a major city and, with everybody stopping progress, we will still be stuck in the times of the horse and buggy. Stopping that TV show for the reasons why they stopped it was about as ludicrous as it can get. I understand the need for belief in people’s lives, but everybody should understand that everybody’s beliefs are different in some form or fashion. We just need to learn to get

on with our lives and stop quibbling over the stupid things that we quibble over and worry about.

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Shame on you Metro Spirit for eliminating Austin Rhodes’ column. He wasn’t afraid to tackle controversial topics and speak out about what can be done to improve Augusta. No one else around here has the courage to do that!

To David Vantrease, the editor of the socalled “Independent Voice” of the Metro Spirit: I can’t believe you guys have sold out and bowed to the local pressure around here and cancelled Austin Rhodes’ column. He’s the only reason I ever read this paper in the first place. Now I will have to listen to him on the radio. Wish you would have left his column in. Guess Charles Walker got to you like he gets to everyone else around here. — Call our Whine Line at 510-2051 and leave your comments. We won’t use your name. Fax your whines by dialing (706) 733-6663 or e-mail your whines to whine@metrospirit.com.

(Lose your) head over heels!

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To David Vantrease: Don’t know the cat, but he has obviously exercised his right to be a spineless turncoat. Apparently he and Austin were friends and now he has thrown him off the paper because of pressure from the left. Austin? I’ve never agreed with him 100 percent but he ain’t doing anything his boss didn’t ask him to do. I do agree with the part about the dress code. The dress code has nothing to do with how well our schools do. Our schools are doing pretty bad as you see, our teachers spend half the day looking to see who is not dressed properly. They can’t even wear a small logo across their chest or on their back or anything. If they would take more time to teach the children, instead of worrying about what the children are wearing and making them upset. Now it’s really difficult to find appropriate clothes for the children to wear. I do agree with some type of dress code, but not one so rigid and inflexible.

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S P I R I T S E P T 4 2 0 0 3

Opinion: Insider

Walker Lashes Out

F

ormer state Sen. Charles Walker is on the ropes. After the legislative session in 2002, the Georgia Ethics Commission slapped the controversial senator with an $8,500 fine for various ethics violations. At the same time state and federal officials were nosing around Atlanta to determine if Walker was operating within the law. Then, in November of that year, he suffered a stunning defeat at the hands of state Sen. Randy Walker. Since Walker has been out of office, the feds have accelerated their probe into his financial and business dealings. The investigation finally took on a local flavor with the seizure of records at his newspaper, the Augusta Focus. It’s been a tough year for the man. Since the high-profile seizure, Walker is doing what he does best: Taking the offensive, claiming victim hood, blaming it on politics, and suggesting that the entire affair has racial overtones. The week following the raid, Walker’s newspaper vowed, “We will not be silenced,” as if the editorial position of the Focus has anything to do with the investigation. It doesn’t. The circulation is very limited within the African-American community and insignificant outside of that. The vitriolic, self-serving editorial content of the newspaper suffers from a lack of credibility in the larger community, so silencing the Augusta Focus is hardly a goal that any state or federal agency would spend a lot of time or money on. The following week (Aug. 28-Sept. 3) the lead story attempted to point out the people who will benefit if Walker goes down. The story listed U.S. Attorney Richard Thompson, Augusta Chronicle publisher Billy Morris, state Sen. Don Cheeks, and oddly, attorney David Hudson as beneficiaries of Walker’s demise. According to the article, Thompson benefits because he is a Republican with political ambitions and Cheeks because he switched to the Republican Party and is now the senior senator from Augusta. Should Walker skate on the huge probe, Republicans will

Chronicle publisher Billy Morris

Former Sen. Charles Walker be shaking in their boots at an exonerated Walker, according to the Focus. Guess what? Exonerated or indicted and whether Walker should beat Hall in the November 2004 election or not, the former senator is damaged goods. Many statewide Dems don’t want Walker back. He burned many bridges with state Democrats because of his arrogance, questionable ethics, and intimidating style. He is viewed as a liability to the party by a significant number of legislators and Democratic officials. Walker’s newspaper indicates that Morris will benefit by the downfall of the former senator. The article sites negative stories and editorials as evidence that Morris wants Walker beaten down. The fact is that The Augusta Chronicle was late in its coverage of Walker’s woes. It required an investigative article in the Atlanta JournalConstitution to inform Augustans of the intricacies of Walker’s questionable ethics and potential conflicts of interest. The Metro Spirit reprinted the article to allow more Augustans to read it while The Chronicle remained silent on the subject, an odd position for the newspaper of record in Richmond County. Walker’s premise that

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Morris would like to see him fall from grace is likely true enough but the daily newspaper stepped very gingerly around Walker’s problems for a long time. Another benefit to Morris cited in the article of analysis and interpretation concerns legal ads. The writer, managing editor Frederick Benjamin, reports that the Focus is positioning itself to become the newspaper of record in the county and, hence, receive millions of dollars in legal ads that now go to Morris. Come on. It is unlikely that the weekly newspaper would ever be seriously considered as the legal organ of Richmond County. The Insider doubts that Morris lies awake at night worrying about that. Finally, the Focus diatribe suggests that Hudson will benefit because he is the attorney for Morris. The article sites various public comments by Hudson that are less than flattering to Walker. Big deal. This is classic Walker. He’s on the offensive and looking for sympathy among those he can incite. Whether this probe goes anywhere or not, Walker will never rise to the pinnacle where he found himself when Governor Roy Barnes was in power and

Walker was the senate majority leader. This is not to say that he will not be a “player,” but the reality is that Walker has been exposed. From his iron-fisted rule over Democrats in the Gold Dome and his efforts to intimidate supporters during his losing campaign last year to the state and federal probe into his dealings, the senator has overplayed his hand. He can huff and puff all he wants but Walker has already peaked politically. By the way, the feds definitely want to bring Walker down. Certainly, Republicans are especially interested in his downfall so politics are a part of it, as always. If there was a Democrat U.S. attorney, he would be looking at a Republican to prosecute. What’s new? The point is that Walker is viewed as a problem by most politicos in both parties. Lots of people want Walker to be dealt with, once and for all. More than those four people mentioned in the Focus article will benefit from his demise. Many more. Will the Other Shoes Drop? As The Insider predicted, local businessman and former Richmond County Commissioner Don Grantham threw his hat into the ring last week as he announced he will run for the 10th district seat currently held by Bill Kuhlke who is leaving the post due to term limits. Now, politicos are anxiously awaiting former Mayor Larry Sconyers’ announcement that he will seek the 6th district seat currently held by Andy Cheek. Reliable sources report that Sconyers will run. Meanwhile, businessman Jimmy Smith is reportedly nearing a decision regarding his candidacy for the 8th district seat being vacated by Ulmer Bridges. Smith is getting a lot of encouragement but the chances of him running remain doubtful. With the qualifying deadline of Sept. 12 only one week away, expect formal announcements very soon. — The views expressed in this column are the views of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

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MetroBeat No Walking and Drinking This First Friday

D

on’t even think about heading downtown with a keg full of beer in the trunk of your car this First Friday because local law enforcement is now armed with a city ordinance that prevents you from letting the good times flow. On Sept. 2, the Augusta Commission unanimously approved an ordinance regulating the consumption of alcohol in city-owned parks, playgrounds and, more importantly, public streets. This new ordinance means no one will be allowed to carry an open container of beer, wine or liquor while walking along Broad Street this First Friday, or any other day of the week without special permission from the city. Earlier this year, the Augusta Commission formed the city’s first downtown advisory panel which is made up of a group of local business owners and downtown residents who were brought together to help the city establish guidelines for Augusta’s downtown entertainment district. The downtown advisory panel recommended this new ordinance in the hopes that First Friday will never experience another incident like it did last October. On Oct. 4, 2002, two downtown businesses had their windows broken and deputies from the sheriff’s department were forced to pepper spray unruly crowds that had congregated along Broad Street after the conclusion of the First Friday festivities. Since then, First Friday and the hours following the event have been for the most part problem-free, but as First Friday continues to grow, the advisory panel felt that it was important to establish these guidelines in order to ensure the event’s continued success. But not everyone thinks this open-container policy is such a good idea. Brad Owens, a downtown store owner and

former candidate for state representative and the local school board, told Augusta commissioners that if they passed the open-container ordinance, they would be supporting a “useless” law. “What’s wrong with law-abiding citizens walking down the street in Augusta, Georgia, and having a beer?” Owens asked, adding that he and his friends often enjoy a beer and a chat outside his business on Eighth Street. “We sit out in front of my shop all the time, late into the evening, drinking beer and talking, kind of like the old Southside Mafia.” Several commissioners chuckled when Owens compared himself and his friends to the once extremely powerful and highly influential group of south Augusta politicians known as the Southside Mafia that was formed in the late 1950s. “I like to have fun,” Owens said. “But the point is, I can’t sit out in front of my own business now if you pass this ordinance and have a beer because that would be breaking the law.” Owens said there are already laws on the books to prevent people from engaging in disorderly conduct, public drunkenness and loitering, so he didn’t see the need for the commission to prevent responsible adults from enjoying an alcoholic beverage as they walk downtown. “I’ve seen a continual deterioration of what has become an economic engine for the recovery downtown and that was First Friday,” Owens said, adding that it is unfair for local officials to refer the event as a “drunken street party.” “That’s not what it is at all,” he said. “The incident that happened last October happened not because there was alcohol in the street but because there were four deputies on duty to police 10,000 people.” In fact, Owens said, the only reason he

By Stacey Eidson

believes this ordinance was created was to curb the growing number of young black adults attending First Friday. “I think there is something else at work here. I will say that I think none of you distinguished gentlemen here would support and even inadvertently support racism or bigotry or oppression,” Owens said to the commission, “but by passing this ordinance, I think in fact that’s what we are going to do.” When local officials refer to the “bad element” at First Friday, Owens said, he believes they are referring to young black adults. “It just happens to be young black folk that they’re talking about,” Owens said. “And you know what? I like them. They come down, they spend money in my store and I’m not afraid or intimidated by black folk.” Of course, these sentiments were coming from the same person who desperately wants Augustans to forget that 10 years ago he was pictured clasping the hand of David Duke, then-presidential candidate and former grand wizard of the Ku Klux Klan. Owens said he would personally like to know who was appointed to the downtown advisory panel. “I would like to know how many regular citizens are on that committee,” he said. With that, the Rev. Mark Harris of Curtis Baptist Church on Broad Street, stood up and named several of his fellow members of the advisory panel such as Michael Schepis, owner of the Modjeska Lounge; Bryan Mitchell, owner of The Cotton Patch restaurant; Joe Smith, owner of the Brass Ring store; and WAGT-TV Channel 26 General Manager John Mann. “It also includes myself, just a ‘regular’ citizen from Curtis Baptist Church,” Harris said in response to Owens’ question. Harris said the advisory panel felt this ordinance was important because the group

studied several surrounding municipalities and they all deemed downtown regulations as a crucial key to the growth of their city. “We studied Asheville, North Carolina; Greenville, South Carolina; and even Atlanta,” Harris said. “Every area had an alcohol ordinance in place.” Everyone on the panel, Harris said, wanted to make sure that First Friday and any other occasion downtown was safe for people of every age and race. “To be real honest with you, I have been fascinated by the work that this group has been able to come together and do,” Harris said. “Whenever you get myself, who’s a clergy, and Bryan Mitchell of The Cotton Patch together on the same team, and we find ourselves sitting down and being able to talk and being able to understand that we have a common vision and that is to make Augusta, Georgia, be the absolute the best it can be ... I’m extremely excited about the potential of that.” The commission voted unanimously to support the ordinance, but before the discussion was concluded, Jimmy Carter, a local photographer who supports the ordinance, wanted to respond to Owens’ comments about race. He said that this ordinance was created to protect families coming downtown, not prohibit black people from enjoying the festivities. “Last First Friday, a car pulled up right where my office is located downtown,” Carter said. “Three ladies got out with cups (of alcohol) and said, ‘We came down to party.’ These were older, mature females. These were not young kids. They came bringing their own. “Something has to be done for families who want to come down and enjoy downtown with their kids. And this is it.”

What’s wrong with law-abiding citizens walking down the street in Augusta, Georgia, and having a beer? ... We sit out in front of my shop all the time, late into the evening, drinking beer and talking, kind of like the old Southside Mafia.” – Brad Owens, downtown business owner


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AUGUSTA’S SALES TAX DEBATE BEGINS

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fter taking more than four months to consider $565 million worth of funding requests from across Richmond County, the citizens review committee has finally completed its proposed 1-cent sales tax list. Now it’s time to see if the list can survive public scrutiny. Starting this week, the 21-member committee will begin holding a series of 14 town hall meetings that will run until Dec. 4. The purpose of these meetings is to give the public the opportunity to discuss information regarding the committee’s proposed list for Phase V of the Special Purpose Local Option Sales Tax (SPLOST). Voters have supported the collection of a 1cent sales tax in Augusta since 1986 to fund a variety of local projects, but the current phase of collections is set to conclude in December 2005. In order for the SPLOST to be extended, the Augusta Commission must convince citizens to vote next year in support of a list of capital improvement projects to be funded by sales tax monies. In the past, the Augusta Commission has asked that voters extend the sales tax every five years, but this year the citizens review committee has recommended the city take a different approach. After talking to representatives from other municipalities around the state, the committee learned that Augusta could request voters to extend the next phase of sales tax by a dollar amount, rather than a time period. Therefore, instead of asking voters to approve five more years of 1-cent sales tax collections that would generate only $160 million, the citizens committee suggested commissioners ask Augustans to support $225 million worth of sales tax projects on a ballot next year. The citizens committee’s SPLOST list includes funding for hundreds of different projects in Augusta such as constructing a new judicial center, improving neighborhood drainage and flood control, paving roads, building two new jail pods for the sheriff’s

department, renovating Daniel Field Airport’s hangar and constructing a new main branch library in Augusta. And if the citizens committee gets its way, voters will also have three additional “quality of life” SPLOST projects that they can separately consider supporting on the ballot, including helping fund the construction of the proposed sports arena, building a performing arts center and the renovation of the current civic center. So, how did the citizens committee come up with its proposed SPLOST list? It wasn’t easy. After holding a series of weekly meetings since May to review hundreds of funding requests throughout the community, members of the citizens committee spent their last two scheduled meetings discussing exactly which projects they thought the public would support on next year’s SPLOST ballot. During the committee’s first attempt at generating its SPLOST list on Aug. 20, the group asked City Administrator George Kolb to create his own list of recommended SPLOST projects. One of the main items on Kolb’s list that sparked debate was funding for the city’s future judicial center. Kolb explained to committee members that, according to the architects designing the city’s court complex, Augusta will need between $70 million and $80 million to construct the new downtown facility. Currently, the city already has $20 million available in previous SPLOST funding for the

building and the citizens committee had already discussed providing the city with another $35 million to build the judicial center. That would give the judicial center a total of $55 million. But Kolb told the committee that an additional $35 million “won’t cut it.” “With only $35 million, you will fall well short of the funding needed to construct the judicial building,” Kolb said, recommending that the SPLOST committee propose giving the judicial center another $55 million. Several committee members couldn’t believe the estimated price tag for the court complex and thought that they should vote against Kolb’s suggestion. “You may not have enough to build what they (the architects) want to build, but you may have enough to build something less elaborate,” said Monty Osteen, co-chairman of the SPLOST committee. However, Kolb disagreed with Osteen’s description of the judicial center. “I don’t think it’s elaborate at all. This is a standard courthouse,” Kolb said. “We are talking about a building with 300,000 square feet that houses 23 courtrooms. It’s not a minor facility. “We are talking about a major facility that is going to house many judicial operations that are currently spread out all over downtown.” But committee member Wayne Hawkins wasn’t convinced. “The problem I’ve got with this is the

“You may not have enough to build what they (the architects) want to build, but you may have enough to build something less elaborate.” – Monty Osteen, co-chairman of the SPLOST committee

judicial center wants to be Taj Mahal, but with other projects like the new main library, we can cut that. They make do with what they get,” Hawkins said, referring to a recommendation by Kolb to reduce the library’s funding request for a new main branch by more than $7 million. “Well, I think they ought to build a judicial center by what we give them. If we give them $55 million, they better build a facility for $55 million.” Again, Kolb tried to explain that there was nothing “fancy” about the proposed $70 million judicial center, but Hawkins didn’t buy it. “I’ve been in the building business a long time,” Hawkins said. “And $55 million will build a hell of a building.” Osteen, a former banker, told the committee that it’s sometimes surprising what people can accomplish when forced to manage on a smaller budget. “I used to have folks come into the bank with requests of up to $10 million for a very elaborate office building,” Osteen said. “Sometimes I would call them and tell them, ‘You cannot afford it. Come back with a $5 million plan.’ They would always say, ‘We can’t do that.’ But they did and it was still a very impressive building. So, you may need to learn to live within a $55 million budget.” But, while several committee members sympathized with Osteen’s and Hawkins’ frustration with the rising cost of the judicial center, the majority of the SPLOST committee continued on page 16

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16 continued from page 15 M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 4 2 0 0 3

agreed they needed to provide the city with another $55 million for the facility. That additional funding would give the city a total of $75 million to build a new judicial complex if approved by voters. The next item that caused friction between the administrator and some committee members was his recommendation to include between $50 million and $70 million of SPLOST funding for a new sports arena. Last November, William S. Morris III, publisher of The Augusta Chronicle and chairman of the Augusta Futurity and the National Barrel Horse Association, along with Frank Lawrence, owner of Augusta’s former arena football team, paid for a $200,000 feasibility study that recommended Augusta build a new $89.7 million sports arena. Ever since the sports arena study was released, Kolb has been a big supporter of the project. “My personal opinion is that it should be on the ballot,” Kolb said. Committee member Ellis Albright was outraged that Kolb would suggest cutting the library’s funding, while at the same time providing at least $50 million to the sports arena. “I have a problem with the fact that, as the person who is in charge of the city, you are not thinking about this city’s children, our youth, and their education,” Albright said. “Instead, you are thinking about putting money into a facility that people might come to visit maybe once or twice a year. That really bothers me.” Kolb also caught some criticism from the committee when he suggested that the proposed performing arts center receive its total $25 million requested from SPLOST, while other

facilities such as the Imperial Theatre and the Augusta Mini Theatre receive no funding at all. “When I sat down with the (Greater Augusta) Arts Council, I told them they should budget $25 million (in SPLOST) because they conducted the performing arts center study out of previous SPLOST funding,” Kolb said. “And that study recommended funding go to the performing arts center and not to the other venues.” Committee member Irma Williams said she believed the Imperial Theatre and the Augusta Mini Theatre should each get their requested $2.5 million because both organizations did exactly what the citizens committee asked them to do. “The Imperial Theatre and The Augusta Mini Theatre worked together and they cut their budgets,” Williams said. “The performing arts center said they weren’t going to work with anybody and they wanted their $25 million. So, in my opinion, we should give The Imperial Theatre and the Mini Theatre their $5 million and take it out of the performing art center’s $25 million. “Why not let the others have some of their money and let the performing arts center find the rest of what they need on their own?” The SPLOST committee decided to take another week to contemplate Kolb’s recommendations, and by Aug. 27, committee member Paul Menk offered up a solution. Menk suggested that the committee provide the Augusta Commission with a proposed SPLOST list that separated funding for the performing arts center and the sports arena from the main $225 million SPLOST project list. That way, both projects could be considered separately from the rest of the SPLOST projects.

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“I don’t think it’s elaborate at all. This is a standard courthouse. We are talking about a building with 300,000 square feet that houses 23 courtrooms. It’s not a minor facility.” – City Administrator George Kolb

“I think that is the one that has the most controversy among the committee members, so I think it, along with the sports arena, should be put on a separate ballot,” Menk said, referring to the performing arts center. “That way, voters could support the $225 million SPLOST list and you could have the option of giving a thumbs up for the sports arena and a thumbs down for the performing arts center.” Menk also asked that the Imperial Theatre and the Augusta Mini Theatre be included in the general SPLOST project list and be given $2.5 million each. The SPLOST committee voted to support Menk’s recommendation and also approved providing the library with enough funding to construct its proposed $20 million main branch facility. Everyone seemed satisfied except Albright, who also serves on the Augusta-Richmond County Coliseum Authority. “I know I’m about to make a couple of people upset but that’s why I’m here,” Albright

jokingly said. He suggested that the SPLOST committee also include a fourth option on the ballot to give the current civic center a $2.9 million facelift. The committee unanimously agreed that the public should be given that option. “That way, if somebody says, I want to vote ‘no’ on the sports arena, but I do want to improve the old one, they can,” Menk said. Even though some citizens may believe the committee is going overboard with the different options on the ballot, Menk said he thinks that more people will be satisfied with the SPLOST list if they are given the authority to choose which projects they support. “I think the public ought to have that choice,” Menk said. “Whether we get a new arena or not, you ought to fix up the old one. You’ve got to go one way or the other. We can’t just let the old civic center fall down over there. So, I think giving them these options is the best way to make a decision.”

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Who Is Tom Tomorrow? By Suzy Hansen

“W

ho is Tom Tomorrow? It is a question that keeps the public awake at night, tossing and turning throughout the long, restless predawn hours...” So says Tom Tomorrow, anyway, in the amusing, personal foreword to his new book “The Great Big Book of Tomorrow,” an expansive collection of his popular “This Modern World” cartoons. Many of the thousands of Tomorrow fans (and antagonizers) surely have wondered, though, about the man behind the acerbic political and social commentary, the often hilarious takedowns of our venerated leaders and, of course, that masked penguin. Curious readers won’t be disappointed: In “The Great Big Book of Tomorrow” (St. Martin’s Press, 208 pages, $17.95) we even get a picture of the author’s real dog. More importantly, the book is a cohesive, play-by-play of the last two decades’ most consuming controversies broken down and shaken up, typically, into four or six cartoon panels, often featuring those familiar 1950s-retro caricatures. What also distinguishes “This Modern World” from many other cartoons is that they tend to be text-heavy; as “Tom Tomorrow” explained to Salon in a recent interview, he’s happy to take on and dissect the finer points of healthcare plans and trade agreements, not to mention the Bush administration’s increasingly confusing motives for attacking Iraq.

So who is he? Dan Perkins, 42, a native of Kansas, Detroit and Iowa (he lived in all three before he was 5), first published a serialized version of “This Modern World” in a small magazine while living in San Francisco in the early 1980s. He now lives in Brooklyn and his comic runs in over 100 publications, including Salon. Perkins also maintains his own blog. Recently, he spoke to Salon, by phone from his home, about being a cartoonist during the Clinton administration vs. the Bush years, why the dead hover over his every comic and why he’s never written a positive cartoon. Q. You note in the book that your work became more overtly political during the first Gulf War. But what specifically motivated you? It became explicitly political during the first Gulf War when I was really frustrated that I didn’t have an outlet. Then, suddenly, the little cartoon light bulb went off over my head and I thought, “Oh, I do in fact have a soapbox,” and started using it. Q. Do you remember a turning point? After one of the big protest marches in San Francisco when there were hundreds of thousands of people marching, it rated about five seconds on the evening news. They immediately cut to a group of half dozen, what, in 2003, we would call Free

Tom Tomorrow, aka Dan Perkins, poses with Sparky the penguin. Republic types, who were protesting in favor of the war. And I just thought, “That’s equal time? That’s extraordinary!” There’s a great follow-up to this: The local news anchor, who really used to annoy me quite a lot, was meeting with a friend of mine who worked with Project Censored. They got to talking about media bias and the news anchor pulled out his wallet, pulled out a folded up clipping of one of my cartoons and said, “You wanna know who’s biased? This guy is biased!” I thought that was wonderful; of course I am biased. It’s his job not to be biased but it’s equally my

job to be completely biased. I get that periodically as a cartoonist — the angry accusation that I’m biased. It’s sort of like saying, “The sun is very bright!” Or, “Air keeps us alive.” Q. When you became more political, did you enjoy the reactions you were getting? I know you’ve talked about the hate mail that you get. Feedback is not an unmixed blessing, especially these days when everyone has a Web site or a blog. There are so many continued on page 20

M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 4 2 0 0 3


20 M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 4 2 0 0 3

The content of “This Modern World” was much less dark during the Clinton administration (left) than during the Bush Jr. years (right).

continued from page 19 opinions out there. It’s just this relentless tide. I’ve reached a point where occasionally it might amuse me and occasionally it might annoy me, but mostly I just don’t care. And it took me a long time to get to that point. I don’t mean to suggest that I’m sitting here in my Zen-like serenity, but when you’ve been out there for a number of years and someone picks up a clump of dirt and throws it at you, after a while you learn to build up barriers and ignore it. E-mail has made feedback way too easy. Certainly in the early ‘90s when people had to write down their thoughts on paper and put it in an envelope and buy a stamp and put it in a mailbox, they really needed to want to say something. They weren’t just going to share some fleeting thought that happened to pass through the back of their mind. E-mail has made it possible to share thoughts that are probably best kept to themselves. I changed the color of the links on my Web site and people wrote in, very angrily — they liked the old color better! One guy said the new color looked too slick and corporate! I don’t mean to disparage the person who wrote that; I’m sure he meant it. But gosh, there are only so many hours in the day. There also used to be context. When a letter came in and it was in crayon, you had some sense of context. E-mail strips it all away. You have some basic indicators like when someone writes in all caps, or has no sense of grammar or uses terms like LOL for “laugh out loud” — then you know you’re mostly dealing with an idiot. But most of the time it’s hard to know who’s writing this stuff. Q. During which era did such feedback bother you the most and coming from whom? You’ve been doing this through four presidential administrations at this point. What bothered me the most was immediately after Sept. 11 when conservatives immediately decided that anyone who did

not agree with them on abortions and prayer in school was aligned with the terrorists. The afternoon of Sept. 11, I went online and there were people writing me saying things like, “So you think America deserved this. Well, f*** you!” And I’m thinking, “Hello! What did I say? What did I do?” That really, really p***ed me off. I found that shocking, and a little bit frightening, honestly, that there was this undercurrent out there ready to latch on to this. Conservatives just felt that their entire worldview had somehow been vindicated by this event. Q. I wanted to ask you about your Sept. 11 cartoon — because you didn’t draw one. You used a photograph. Why? I wasn’t feeling very funny that week. Because it was clearly such a momentous event, such an overwhelming and somber — I’m sorry, I’m just going to sound banal saying this stuff. Everyone reading this interview went through the day also so I don’t need to expand on that. Short answer: I didn’t know what else to do. Q. Back to what you were saying about bias: One thing that was obvious during the Clinton years is that you really tried to find the ridiculousness on all sides. You could see where your sympathies lay but... You could see where my sympathies lay, but I pointed out that Clinton was lying about the whole Monica Lewinsky thing straight out of the gate. It was very clear to me many months into the scandal when Clinton supporters were still claiming — as Bush’s supporters are claiming now (about our reasons for going to war with Iraq) — that he didn’t lie. Well, first they were arguing that he didn’t lie at all, that he didn’t do any of it, and then we got into the semantic issues of the meaning of “is.” I guess with Bush we’ve jumped right into the semantic issue. Everyone acknowledges that it was a lie in one form or another. They’re just arguing

about the meaning of a lie. Clinton is more or less the guy on my side of the fence. But I had many, many, many issues with Clinton, and I acknowledged right away that it was pretty clear he was lying. Bush’s supporters should be doing the same thing. Clearly they’re not. Q. How do you feel that the tone or tenor of your cartoon has changed with this administration? Do you approach Bush’s controversies differently? The mood of the country changed. You react to what’s going on and to the people in power. During the Clinton years, the cartoon got a little more ethereal. I would be discussing fine points of trade policy or some thing like that. My main problem with Clinton was that he sounded good and said a lot of the right things and made all of the liberals feel nice and warm and fuzzy and then went and gutted the social safety net and pushed through trade agreements like NAFTA and GATT (General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade). His actions often belied his words. Q. I even detect, I think, a sense of exasperation in your cartoons as though it’s all so obvious to you what’s wrong. Before, I felt like I was writing about a lot of stuff that I didn’t expect a lot of people to be following — for instance, the ins and outs of the Clinton healthcare plan which was widely smeared as socialized medicine when, in fact, it was the furthest thing from socialized medicine. The perception was that he was going up against the insurance industry when, in fact, he had written it with the five largest insurers ... Whereas now the things that are wrong are not that complicated. Q. You also often criticize the media, and usually it’s the television media, but it made me curious where you get your information from in order to write

your cartoons. Who do you trust? Well, um, from the television media? Laughs. No, I spend a lot of time reading papers and reading the papers online and watching the news. It’s not a binary either/or situation. I’ve met hardcore left-wing activists who say they simply can’t watch the mainstream media. “I only read Z magazine!” And I say, “Well, then you have absolutely no idea what’s going on in the world.” The information is there; you just have to get it from a lot of different sources, and you have to have some basic understanding of how the world works to decode the ways in which it is presented and come up with your own composite portrait of the world. The blogs, I have to say, are very helpful because you have a whole army of unpaid researchers digging up all these wonderful nuggets of information. Q. Any of them that you really like? Atrios’ site, Daily Kos, Skippy the Bush Kangaroo — they all have silly names. Then again, I’m Tom Tomorrow so I can’t exactly say anything about that. A lot of the sites are the radical center expressing its voice. They seem pretty much to be centrist Democrats but with an anger that you haven’t seen from centrist Democrats in years. That’s a wonderful and healthy development. A lot of my problem with the Democratic Party over the last few years has been the fact that there doesn’t seem to be one. Q. Do you think they represent or could be the first stages of some kind of shift? I’m specifically talking about these Web sites. I don’t mean to imply that the Democratic Party is doing anything — they have been taking a nap for a very long time and now it’s sort of stretching and rubbing its eyes and clearing its throat. That’s a good sign because it’s better than being unconscious. But there’s still a way to go. continued on page 22


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22 M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 4 2 0 0 3

Dan Perkins, a.k.a. Tom Tomorrow, thought the Enron scandal would remain in the media for a while, but the world soon lost interest.

continued from page 20 Q. How do you balance humor and message? Well, you have certain lines that you’re not going to cross. If I’m going to offend someone I want it to be for the right reason. I don’t want to offend them out of some perceived callousness or disrespect for the dead. Ultimately in these times, the dead hover over every cartoon that you do, whether it’s Sept. 11 or the war in Iraq. So there are topics that I personally try to handle with a delicate touch. Sometimes I’ll do one that I think is laugh-out-loud funny, and I may be wrong, who knows. But then the week after that one that’s sort of serious. The one I have up today is about how all the stories in favor of the war keep getting rewritten, and it’s not a

funny cartoon at all. I think it’s a wry cartoon. It is not only my job to make you laugh out loud; if that were my only purpose in life I would walk around on the street tickling people. But, for example with this cartoon, there were all these stories that kept getting amended, and one hadn’t been mentioned for a while — the looting of the Iraqi museum. The initial reports wildly overstated the damage and then the secondary set of reports wildly understated it. And that was the point at which Andrew Sullivan wrote a column in Salon suggesting that all the liberals who had harped on the wildly overstated damage owed the world an apology. Now it turns out Sullivan wildly understated the damage, though I don’t know if he has issued the

world an apology for his mistake. I don’t believe he has. Q. There was another cartoon that stuck with me — the one whose refrain was “Bomb Iraq.” The first panel was “If you can’t find the guy you’re after — bomb Iraq.” Right: “What the president has learned in a year since Sept. 11.” Q. Yes. If you have a problem, bomb Iraq. One of the panels was about Enron. Where did Enron go? Yeah, that one fell off the map, didn’t it? I really misjudged that one — I thought that would have legs. I don’t know. Where that

went was to the back page and the business page. We had a couple of wars. It was pretty much as the cartoon suggested: The president started talking about bombing Iraq and everyone’s attention was drawn away from Enron. Q. Do you feel more responsibility to what issues you’re grappling with or with what’s in the headlines? I’ve never really cared about that. And that’s really the big difference between the Bush and Clinton years. More and more I am more likely to be talking about what everyone is talking about because everyone is talking about things that matter. Also, I’m not a daily cartoonist — those guys are

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Augusta Common 3pm-10pm Food, fun and entertainment. Bring the family. For more details call RSE 706-821-1754

SEPTEMBER 4, 11, 18 & 25 Downtown Lunch Date Continues Augusta Common 12pm-2:30pm Bring your own lunch or eat at the featured restaurant while listening to Augusta’s finest local musicians. Call RSE 706-821-1754 for more details.

Vestal Goodman Sunday, September 7, 2003 6:30PM Free Admission

SEPTEMBER 6 Stamp Out Sickle Cell Anemia Walk-a-thon Eighth Street Plaza 8am Join the Walk-a-thon to further SCA research. Live entertainment, arts, crafts, food and fun. For details, Mary L. Brown 706-733-0188, ext. 2129

SEPTEMBER 12 Border Bash Augusta Common • Gates open 5pm • Activities start at 7pm Pre-game party for the biggest college football rivalry of the season between University of Georgia and University of South Carolina. For details and vending, Claire Boulus 706-721-4004

SEPTEMBER 20-21 Arts in the Heart of Augusta Augusta Common • Time: TBA Performances, local, regional and national entertainment, ethnic foods and much more. Call The Greater Augusta Arts Council 706-826-4702

SEPTEMBER 27 Greeknic 2003

I-20 at Belair Road (Exit 194) • 706-868-6410 • www.nhwc.org

Jessye Norman Amphitheater • Time: TBA Annual Greek Step Show. For details, Spencer Gartrell 706-793-4156


23 M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 4 2 0 0 3

Tom Tomorrow uses “This Modern World” to criticize the bombing of Iraq.

getting up in the morning, coming up with the idea, talking to their editors about it, going through the whole process, drawing it, getting it to the copy desk — all in five hours. So they are going to be talking about whatever is on the front page — that’s their job. I have the luxury of going off on tangents. But lately the tangents have been less interesting than the news. Q. You focus a lot on the evasiveness of this administration. But wasn’t that true during the Clinton administration? The stakes weren’t as high. The civil liberties situation is terrifying. And the foreign policy situation ... this is the most radical presidential administration probably in a century. And unfortunately, it’s trite to

say it, but Sept. 11 really did change everything in one important way: It unleashed this administration to pursue its most radical agenda. On the afternoon of Sept. 11, Donald Rumsfeld is sitting in his office writing memos trying to figure out how they can use Sept. 11 to justify attacking Iraq. On Sept. 11, 2001. And there’s a reason for that — Rumsfeld and Wolfowitz and Perle, all those Project for the New American Century guys, have been publicly advocating war with Iraq since the mid-‘90s. They issued policy statements saying that we need a foothold in the region that’s more reliable than Saudi Arabia, and Iraq is our best opportunity. This has all been out in the open. Q. Do conservatives accuse you

of enjoying all this controversy? You hear that. It’s beneath contempt. I would happily go back to humorously discussing why Clinton’s trade policy was a mistake in a wacky four-panel cartoon. This is serious stuff. No one is enjoying this. I’m not trying to score debating points; I’m just angry. Q. I thought it was interesting that in 1992, when Clinton was elected, someone said to you, “Well, what will you write about now?” as if there wouldn’t be anything to criticize. Right. There were some dry patches, I’ll admit. I’m afraid we may not get back to that situation for a long time.

Q. Have you ever written positive cartoons? Oh, come on. Q. I don’t know. Some moment when you were overcome by a burst of cheerfulness? It is not a frequent occurrence. But I wouldn’t do what I do if there wasn’t an inherent optimism there. It’s an optimism tinged with bitterness and frustration but if I didn’t believe that things can get better then I would go live in some remote farmhouse somewhere and ignore the world entirely. — Suzy Hansen is an associate editor at Salon.com, where this article first appeared. An online version remains in the Salon archives. Reprinted with permission.

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8

DaysA Week

Arts

dance, theater, music, visual ar ts and writing. Fall classes begin the week of Sept. 8, and tuition assistance is available. Call 731-0008 for details.

Auditions

USC-AIKEN MUSIC CONSERVATORY PROGRAM now open. Students of all ages and experience levels welcome. Private lessons available for musical instruments and voice; instructors are USC-Aiken faculty and have at least a master’s degree in their per formance area. (803) 641-3288.

THE YOUNG ARTISTS REPERTORY THEATRE COMPANY is holding auditions for “The Homecoming” Sept. 8-9, 7 p.m., in the lower school cafetorium of Augusta Preparatory Day School. Speaking roles available for 11 males and eight females; non-speaking roles also available. Open to actors ages 10 through college-age. For more information, call 210-8915 or e-mail yar t@comcast.net. AUGUSTA CONCERT BAND rehearses Monday evenings and is looking to fill vacancies on most band instruments. Interested par ties should contact Ben Easter, (803) 2020091 or e-mail bandforaugusta@aol.com. SWEET ADELINES PEACH STATE CHORUS OPEN REHEARSAL for singers each Thursday at 7 p.m. at Church of Christ, 600 Mar tintown Rd. in Nor th Augusta. They are on the lookout for voices in the lower ranges. Contact Mary Norman at (803) 279-6499.

Education HAT-MAKING WORKSHOP FOR ADULTS with local ar tist Mary Canteen Sept. 12, 10 a.m.-noon at the Ma xwell Branch Library. Registration required; call 793-2020. ART FACTORY AT THE AUGUSTA JEWISH COMMUNITY CENTER offers classes Tuesdays, Sept. 9-Nov. 11. Fee is $75 per class. Classes include beginning acting for ages 12-16, acting for ages 8-11, painting for adults, creative movement for adults, ar t exploration for ages 4-8, ar t exploration for ages 9-12, clay for ages 12-16, drawing for ages 12-16 and make believe for ages 4-8. Call 228-3636 to register. SCOTTISH COUNTRY DANCE CLASSES Saturdays beginning Sept. 13 at the Aiken Center for the Ar ts, 122 Laurens St. Beginners and experienced dancers welcome. For information, contact Marilynn Knight at (803) 343-3079 or (803) 376-5081 or register by calling Aiken Center for the Ar ts, (803) 641-9094. ISRAELI DANCE WORKSHOP at the Augusta Jewish Community Center Sunday afternoons, 4-5 p.m. Open to teens and adults; no experience or partners are necessary. Cost is $2 per session, with the first session free. For information or to schedule a pre-class beginner/refresher session, contact Jackie Cohen, 738-9016.

“THE 1,000 FACES OF ISRAEL” photography presentation by Harel Stanton, 8 p.m. Sept. 9 at the Augusta Jewish Community Center. Free to AJCC members; $10 for nonmembers. Make reservations by calling 228-3636. OIL PAINTINGS BY CINDY EPPS are on display at the Euchee Creek Library during September. 556-0594. PORTRAITS BY KATRINA HINTZE will be at the Gibbs Library throughout September. Call 863-1946. DRAWINGS BY FRANK BAREFIELD will be on display at the Etherredge Center Lower Gallery on the campus of USC-Aiken through Sept. 26. Call (803) 641-3305.

ACRYLIC PAINTINGS BY KEIL ALDERSON will be at the Dunlap Studio and Gallery. Opening reception Sept. 5, 6-9 p.m. For more information, call 722-7333. JACKSON CHEATHAM AND HAYWOOD NICHOLS exhibit works at the Mar y Pauline Galler y through Oct. 11. 724-9542.

ART CLASSES AND WORKSHOPS are offered year-round at the Ger trude Herber t Institute of Ar t. Classes and workshops are open to toddlers through adults and feature instruction in drawing, painting, photography, pot tery, weaving and sculpture. For a newslet ter or detailed information on registering for classes at the Ger trude Herber t, call 722-5495. The Ger trude Herber t Institute of Ar t also offers educational tours; for information, contact the education director at the above telephone number.

WORKS BY TERESA COLE will be on display at the ASU Fine Ar ts Gallery through Sept. 25. Call 737-1444.

ART CLASSES FOR CHILDREN AND ADULTS at the Ar t Factory. The Ar t Factory also has a homeschool program and scholarships are available. Programs include voice lessons and pantomime workshops, as well as classes in

“TWO NATIONS, ONE VISION” PHOTOGRAPHY EXHIBIT through September at the Augusta Jewish Community Center, 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Monday-Thursday. Free admission. Call 228-3636 for information.

WOMEN ON PAPER GROUP EXHIBITION through Sept. 26 at the Etherredge Center Ar t Gallery, located on the campus of USC-Aiken. The group also exhibits at the Sacred Hear t Cultural Center Ar t Gallery Sept. 4-Oct. 28. Opening reception is Sept. 5, 5-7 p.m. in Sacred Hear t’s Ar t Hall. For more information, call 860-3374.

S P I R I T S E P T

2 0 0 3

Exhibitions

AT THE LUCY CRAFT LANEY MUSEUM OF BLACK HISTORY in September: Ethan Brock, Eugene Campbell, Audrey Crosby, Leisha Starchia, Rhian Swain-Giboney and Gene Threats will exhibit. Luncheon and discussion with the ar tists Sept. 10, 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Luncheon cost is $6 per person; for reservations, contact Kelvin Jackson, 724-3576.

M E T R O

4

“A CENTURY OF PROGRESS: 20TH CENTURY PAINTING IN TENNESSEE” will be at the Morris Museum of Ar t Sept. 4-Nov. 9. For more information, call 724-7501.

“THE NATIONAL PASTIME IN BLACK AND WHITE: THE NEGRO BASEBALL LEAGUES, 1867-1955” will be at the Augusta Museum of History Sept. 6-Oct. 19. Photographs and rare ar tifacts will be on display. Call 722-8454 for more information.

49

Acrylic paintings by Keil Alderson will be on display at Dunlap Studio and Gallery, with a First Friday opening reception from 6-9 p.m.

Dance THE AUGUSTA INTERNATIONAL FOLK DANCE CLUB meets Thursday evenings at 7:30 p.m. No par tners are needed and newcomers are welcome. Line and circle dances are taught. For location information, call 737-6299. THE DANCES OF UNIVERSAL PEACE held the first Saturday of every month, 7-9 p.m., at the Unitarian Church of Augusta, honors the religious traditions of the world through song and movement. Call (803) 643-0460 for more information. AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF THE UNITED STATES AMATEUR BALLROOM DANCERS ASSOCIATION holds a dance the first Saturday of each month, from 7:15-11 p.m. Cost is $7 for members and $10 for non-members. Held at the BPOE Facility on Elkdom Cour t. Contact Melvis Lovet t, 733-3890, or Jean Avery, 863-4186, for information. CSRA/AUGUSTA BOGEY-WOOGIE DANCE AND SOCIAL GROUP meets every Wednesday at 6:45 p.m. at A World of Dance Studio. Couples, singles and newcomers are welcome. The group also offers beginner shag lessons all summer. For information, phone 650-2396. SINGLES DANCE each Saturday night from 8-11 p.m. sponsored by the Christian Social Organization for Single Adults. Held at Westside High School. Tickets $5

for members, $7 for non-members and are available at the door. For more information, contact Doris Heath, 736-3376.

Music JENNIFER DANIELS per forms Sept. 16, 7:30 p.m., as par t of the Morris Museum of Ar t’s Young Tennessee Singer/Songwriter Series. Admission is $3 for adults and $2 for seniors, students and military personnel. 724-7501. SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE at Riverwalk’s Eighth Street Plaza Sept. 13. The Windward Blues Project will per form. Street par ty star ts at 6 p.m.; music star ts at 7 p.m. Free admission; proceeds from concession sales benefit future programming at the Imperial Theatre. Call 821-1754. TRADITIONAL IRISH MUSIC with Sibin comes to the Morris Museum of Ar t as par t of the Music at the Morris series Sept. 14. Per formance begins at 2 p.m., and admission is free. Call 724-7501 for information. “MAKING MUSIC MATTER” CONFERENCE FOR GEORGIA ORCHESTRAS Sept. 15-16 at the Radisson River front Hotel. For more information, call 826-4705. ASU CONSERVATORY FACULTY CONCERT 3 p.m. Sept. 14 at the Ma xwell Per forming Ar ts Theatre. Free. Call 737-1444 for info.


MCGAW per forms Sept. 6 as par t of the Fillmore 50 JIM Coffeehouse concer t series at Christ Church Unity. Show

begins at 7 p.m.; suggested donation is $6. Tickets may be

M E purchased at the door or by calling Jill Shealy, 722-0761. T R AUGUSTA THEATRE COMPANY MUSIC SERIES begins O Sept. 6, 8:30 p.m., with per formances by The Hellblinki

Sex tet, The Kilpatrick Project and Dinah. Held at the Augusta Theatre Company’s new facility, 1436 Reynolds St. Admission is $3 at the door. For info, contact Jamie Grant, silentnumbernine@hotmail.com.

S P I R I T TICKETS FOR “FROM MOZART TO MOTOWN 2!” AND “A

MOZART TO MOTOWN CHRISTMAS” now on sale. “From

S Mozar t to Motown 2!” will be staged Oct. 17 at the Imperial E Theatre and “A Mozar t to Motown Christmas” will be P staged Nov. 29 at the Imperial Theatre. Tickets are $30 T

general admission or $45 VIP admission per show. To order

4 tickets, call the Imperial Theatre box office at 722-8341.

2 DOWNTOWN LUNCH DATE Sept. 4, 11, 18 and 25, noon0 2:30 p.m., at Augusta Common. Bring a lunch or eat lunch 0 catered by the featured restaurant while listening to live 3

music. 821-1754.

Theater “THE ODD COUPLE” will be presented by For t Gordon Dinner Theatre Sept. 12-13, 19-20 and 25-27. Dinner begins at 7 p.m., with the show star ting at 8 p.m. Tickets are $30 civilians; $28 seniors (65 years of age and older), retirees, DA civilians and active duty E8 and above; $17 active duty E7 and below; or $12 show only. For more information or ticket reservations, call the box office at 793-8552 or visit www.for tgordon.com. “THE MAN BEHIND THE MASQUE: A TRIBUTE TO JAIME BURCHAM” will be at the Imperial Theatre Sept. 16, 7 p.m. Call 261-0555 for details “THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW” Sept. 5, midnight, at Club Argos. The Erotic Nightmares cast will perform the show live. Admission is $6. For more information, call 481-8829. “CAROUSEL” will be presented by the Augusta Opera Sept. 11-13, 8 p.m., at the Imperial Theatre. Opera chat begins one hour before per formance. For tickets and information, call 826-4710 or visit www.augustaopera.com. “RUMORS” will be per formed by Stage III Sept. 4-7 at the Augusta Jewish Community Center. Dinner theatre performances Sept. 4-6 at 7 p.m.; matinee per formance Sept. 7 at 3 p.m. Call 228-3636 or 868-9663. SEASON TICKETS FOR THE AUGUSTA PLAYERS 2003/2004 MAINSTAGE SEASON now on sale. Shows include “Grease,” “Annie,” “Evita” and “The Wiz.” Season ticket packages range from $75-$124, with additional packages including the Glass Slipper Ball annual fundraiser in October. For more information, visit www.augustaplayers.com or call 826-4707.

Museums ART AT LUNCH Sept. 5, noon-1 p.m., at the Morris Musuem of Ar t. Celia Walker, Susan Knowles and Kevin Grogan will conduct an informal conversation in the exhibition galleries. Lunch will be served prior to the program. Reservations required; call 724-7501. “RETURN OF THE DINOSAURS” exhibit at For t Discovery through Sept. 21. A group of animatronic dinosaurs will be on display in the Knox Gallery. Admission to the exhibit is free with paid general admission to For t Discovery. For information, call 821-0200 or 1-800-325-5445. THE GERTRUDE HERBERT INSTITUTE OF ART in Ware’s Folly exhibits works by local and regional ar tists. Ar t

classes, workshops and other educational programming for children, youth and adults are held in the WalkerMackenzie Studio. Ware’s Folly galleries open Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Thursday, 10 a.m.-7 p.m.; and Saturday by appointment only. The Walker-Mackenzie Studio gallery is open Tuesday-Friday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Admission is free, but a donation of $2 for adults and $1 for children and seniors is encouraged. Call 722-5495 for more info. THE AUGUSTA MUSEUM OF HISTORY hosts permanent exhibition “Augusta’s Story,” an award-winning exhibit encompassing 12,000 years of local history. For the younger crowd, there’s the Susan L. Still Children’s Discovery Gallery, where kids can learn about history in a hands-on environment. The museum also shows films in the History Theatre and hosts a variety of programs. Located at 560 Reynolds Street. Open Tuesday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sunday 1-5 p.m. Admission is $4 adult, $3 seniors, $2 kids (6-18 years of age) and free for children under 6. Free admission on Sundays. Call 722-8454 or visit www.augustamuseum.org for more information. THE MORRIS MUSEUM OF ART hosts exhibitions and special events year-round. Open Tuesday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sundays, noon-5 p.m. Closed on Mondays and major holidays. 1 Tenth Street, Augusta. Call 724-7501 or visit www.themorris.org for details. THE MUSEUM OF LAUREL AND HARDY OF HARLEM, GEORGIA features displays of various Laurel and Hardy memorabilia; films also shown. Located at 250 N. Louisville Street in downtown Harlem. Open 1-4 p.m. Thursday-Monday. For more information, call 556-3448. LUNCH AT NOON LECTURE SERIES held the second Wednesday of every month at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum of Black History, 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Call the museum at 724-3576 for more information.

Special Events BORDER BASH Sept. 12, 7 p.m., at Augusta Common. Enter tainment will be provided by The Swingin’ Medallions, the University of Georgia and the University of South Carolina cheerleaders and mascots. Proceeds benefit the Medical College of Georgia’s Children’s Medical Center. Admission is $5. 721-3957. APPLICATIONS FOR COMMUNITY ENABLING FUNDS from the Junior League of Augusta are now being accepted by area non-profit agencies. Grants are available in November to be used for par ticular projects and needs. To be eligible, applications must be submit ted from a non-profit and ta x-exempt (501)(C3) agency and monies must be used within the CSRA. Application deadline is Sept. 13. For more information, contact the Junior League of Augusta, 736-0033. FIRST FRIDAY GREAT DANE PARADE Sept. 5. Meet at 7 p.m. in front of the Metro Coffeehouse. All big dogs and all big dogs at hear t welcome; dogs must be current on all vaccinations. For more information, call 294-3724 or email tohntohn@knology.net. “JOURNEY INTO THE LIVING CELL” will be at the Dupont Planetarium Sept. 5-6 and 19-20, 7 and 8 p.m. Tickets are $4.50 adult, $3.50 senior citizens, $2.50 K-12 students and $1 for USC-Aiken faculty, staff and students. For more information, call (803) 641-3654. WREATH LAYING CEREMONY with the Augusta Chapter of the National Society of the Daughters of the American Revolution 11 a.m. Sept. 12 at the gravesite of Colonel

William Few at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church. Ceremony is par t of the celebration of Constitution week, Sept. 13-17. For more information, contact Ramona Mills, 868-5313. SEPTEMBER FILM SERIES at Headquar ters Library 6:30 p.m. Tuesdays throughout September. Admission is free. Sept. 9 screening of “Bowling for Columbine,” Sept. 16 screening of “To Dance With the White Dog,” Sept. 23 screening of “Monty Py thon and the Holy Grail,” Sept. 30 screening of “Election.” 821-2600. AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY CIVIC CENTER JOB FAIR 10 a.m.-1 p.m. Sept. 13 in Meeting Room A of the Civic Center. Call 722-3521 for details. CLYDE BEATTY/COLE BROS. CIRCUS will be at the Augusta Mall Sept. 18-21. Shows are 4 and 7 p.m. Thursday-Friday; 10:30 a.m., 4:30 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. Saturday; and 1:30 and 4:30 p.m. Sunday. Tickets are $9$22; buy reserved seats in advance and save $2 off the admission price. For more information, call 1-800-7965672 or 1-888-332-5600. “I HAVE LIVED INSIDE THE MONSTER” lecture by author and criminal profiler Rober t Ressler is par t of ASU’s Lyceum Series, Sept. 12, 7:30 p.m. at the Ma xwell Per forming Ar ts Theatre. Free. Call 737-1444. FORT GORDON NEWCOMER EVENT: Learn more about For t Gordon and Augusta Sept. 4, 10 a.m.-3 p.m., at the Gordon Club. Free event is open to all active duty military personnel, family members and civilian employees of the installation. For information, call 821-1300.

THE CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. and every Wednesday evening from 5:30-7:30 p.m. at the Pet Center located behind the GreenJackets Stadium on Milledge Rd. 261-PETS.

Out of Town DOWNSTREAM FILM FESTIVAL Sept. 12-21 in Decatur, Ga. For more information, visit www.downstreamfest.com or call (770) 998-2288. MAIZE QUEST CORNFIELD MAZE Sept. 6-Nov. 9, 9 a.m.10 p.m., at Washington Farms in Watkinsville, Ga. Tickets are $7 adult and $5 children 4-12 years old, with group discounts available for groups of 20 or more. For information, visit www.CornMaze.com or www.washingtonfarms.net, or call (706) 769-0627. NETHERWORLD HAUNTED HOUSE weekends in September, every night in October and Nov. 1-2 at the Georgia Antique and Design Center. Doors open nightly at 7 p.m. Netherworld Dark Harvest ticket is $14, combo Dark Harvest and Vault 13 ticket is $20. Call the hotline at (404) 608-2484. CAROLINE SWANSON exhibits watercolor paintings at the Stine Gallery in Anderson, S.C. Opening reception 6:30-9 p.m. Sept. 5 at the gallery. Call (864) 225-7639. “THE CRAWLASEUM: A LIVE BUG EXHIBIT” will be at Callaway Gardens in Pine Mountain, Ga., through Oct. 31. Exhibit is free with gardens admission. For more information, call 1-800-CALLAWAY.

GRANDPARENTS APPRECIATION DAY Sept. 7, noon-7 p.m., at Augusta Golf and Gardens. Special two-for-one admission; lawn chairs, coolers and picnic baskets welcome. Call 724-4443 for information.

ART IN THE PARK show at the American Legion grounds in Blowing Rock, N.C., Sept. 13 from 10 a.m.-5 p.m. For more information, contact the Blowing Rock Chamber of Commerce at (828) 295-7851.

“FIRST STEP” DIVORCE RECOVERY WORKSHOP begins Sept. 7, 4-6 p.m., at First Baptist Church, 3500 Walton Way, in Room 201 of the Walton Building. Call 731-5355 for information.

SAVANNAH RIVER SITE HEALTH EFFECTS SUBCOMMITTEE MEETING Sept. 4-5 at Westin Savannah Harbor in Savannah, Ga. For more information, contact Phillip Green, (404) 498-1800.

ALFRED HITCHCOCK FILM SERIES on Thursdays at 6:30 p.m. throughout August at the Nancy Carson Library. No registration required and admission is free. For more information, contact Derek Marshall or Jennie Elliot t, (803) 279-5767.

GEORGIA MUSIC WEEK 2003 at the Georgia Music Hall of Fame in Macon, Ga., Sept. 15-19, with Brown Bag Boogie free lunchtime concer t series at noon daily and free Jammin’ in the Street Concer t Sept. 19, 8 p.m. Also, the 25th Annual Georgia Music Hall of Fame Awards will be held Sept. 13. For ticket info, call (770) 934-0906 or 1888-GA-ROCKS.

SATURDAY MARKET ON BROAD: Main Street Augusta is seeking farmers and vendors in the CSRA to market homemade and homegrown products in downtown Augusta on Saturday mornings through October 25. Market is open to the public at Augusta Common 8 a.m.-1 p.m. For more information, contact Mary Killen of Main Street Augusta, 722-8000, or Sheri Chambers, 664-1054 or 564-6231. PEACE VIGIL every Saturday until U.S. troops come home, noon-2 p.m. at the corner of Wrightsboro and Jackson roads, in front of the Army Reserve Office. For more information, contact Denice Traina, 736-4738. MCDUFFIE FRIENDS OF ANIMALS holds pet adoptions each Saturday, 1-3 p.m. at Superpetz on Bobby Jones Expressway. Call 556-9090 or visit www.pet finder.com. COLUMBIA COUNTY HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. and every Sunday from 1-4 p.m. at PetsMar t. For more info, call 860-5020. RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL AND AUGUSTA ANIMAL RESCUE FRIENDS hold pet adoptions at Superpetz off Bobby Jones Expressway every Sunday from 1-4 p.m. Call AARF at 364-4747 or visit www.aar f.net. Adoptions also held at the Richmond County Animal Control Shelter, Tues.-Sun., 1-5 p.m. Call the shelter at 790-6836.

TAKE YOUR PICK Lawaway Now for Christmas!

“LES MISERABLES” will be per formed by the Theater of the Stars in Atlanta Sept. 9-14. For ticket information, visit www.theaterof thestars.com or call (404) 252-8960. ADOPTION INFORMATION SESSION Sept. 6, 9:30 a.m.1:30 p.m. at the Independent Adoption Center in Tucker, Ga. For reservations, call (404) 321-6900. AT THE HIGH MUSEUM OF ART in Atlanta through Oct. 26: “Ansel Adams and his Legacy,” “A Mat ter of Time: Edward Hopper From the Whitney Museum of American Ar t.” Call (404) 733-HIGH or visit www.high.org for information. “THE SHAKESPEARE COMEDY SPECTACULAR,” featuring per formances of “The Taming of the Shrew,” “All’s Well That Ends Well,” “Twelf th Night,” “The Merry Wives of Windsor” and “Much Ado About Nothing,” will be at the New American Shakespeare Tavern in Atlanta throughout September. For more information, visit www.shakespearetavern.com or call (404) 874-5299. “RUINS AND RECONSTRUCTIONS: RECENT DRAWINGS AND SCULPTURE BY BRIAN RUST” exhibition at Bank of America Plaza in Atlanta through Oct. 2. Open 8 a.m.-6 p.m. Monday-Friday and by appointment. Free admission. For more information, call (404) 816-9777.

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www.shepeardblood.org. You may also call Susan Edwards at (803) 643-7996 for information on Aiken locations and Nancy Szocinski at 737-4551 for information on all other locations. AMERICAN RED CROSS BLOOD DRIVES at the Aiken Red Cross Blood Center on Millbrook Drive and the Augusta Red Cross Blood Center on Pleasant Home Road. The bloodmobile will also stop at various area locations this week. For a complete list, call the Aiken Blood Center at (803) 642-5180 or the Augusta Blood Center at 868-8800.

Learning USC-AIKEN CONTINUING EDUCATION offers sign language, conversational French, Italian, yoga and more. (803) 641-3563. BASIC MICROSOFT WORD COMPUTER TRAINING Thursdays, Sept. 4-Oct. 9, 6-7:30 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 722-6275. COMPUTER BASICS class at the Friedman Branch Library Sept. 9 and 11, 9-11:30 a.m., or Sept. 15 and 17, 6-7:30 p.m. Registration required; call 736-6758. BEGINNER WORD I COMPUTER CLASS Sept. 10, 9-10 a.m. or 6:30-7:30 p.m. at the Gibbs Library. Registration is required; call 863-1946.

The Hellblinki Sextet (pictured), Dinah and The Kilpatrick Project perform at Augusta Theatre Company’s new facility on Reynolds Street Sept. 6.

“A SALUTE TO 25 YEARS OF THE GEORGIA MUSIC HALL OF FAME AWARDS” runs through Jan. 18, 2004, at the Georgia Music Hall of Fame in Macon, Ga. Exhibits, programs and events honoring the 25th anniversary of the Georgia Music Hall of Fame awards. Call 1-888-GAROCKS for info. COWPARADE ATLANTA features over 200 life-sized, fiberglass cows painted by local ar tists and placed throughout Atlanta. The cows will be on public display through Sept. 14. For information, call (404) 898-2915 or visit www.cowparadeatlanta.com. GEORGIA SHAKESPEARE FESTIVAL runs through Nov. 2 with per formances of “Much Ado About Nothing,” “The School for Wives,” “The Tale of Cymbeline” and “The Tempest.” Tickets are $23-$32, with special $10 preview shows. Held at the Conant Per forming Ar ts Center on the campus of Oglethorpe University in Atlanta. Call (404) 264-0020 for information. AT THE GEORGIA MUSEUM OF ART in Athens, Ga.: “‘Leaves Have Their Time To Fall...’: Reflections of Mourning in 19th Century Decorative Ar ts,” through Sept. 14; “Af ter Many Years: The Paintings of Wilmer W. Wallace and Lamar Dodd,” through Sept. 14; “Masters of Their Craf t: Highlights From the Smithsonian American Ar t Museum,” Sept. 13-Nov. 13. Call (706) 542-4662.

GARDENING SEMINAR WITH AIKEN HORTICULTURIST TOM RAPP Sept. 6, 9 a.m., at Newberry Hall in Aiken. Cost is $20. To register, call the Aiken Downtown Development Association at (803) 649-2221.

“GOSPEL FROM THE HEART” CONCERT Sept. 6, 7 p.m., benefits the American Hear t Association’s Hear t Walk. Phil and Debbie Scholtzhauer will per form at Doctors Hospital Building III. Tickets are $3; call 651-6104 to purchase. WALTON FOUNDATION’S ANNUAL GOLF CLASSIC to benefit the Walton Foundation for Independence Sept. 8 at Mount Vintage Plantation Golf Club in Nor th Augusta. Registration begins at 10 a.m., golf skills challenge from 10 a.m.-noon, lauderdale/shotgun star t at 12:30 p.m. and awards reception at 5 p.m. Call 823-8526 for information. RECEPTION HONORING JESSYE NORMAN for her contribution to the Jessye Norman School of the Ar ts, 5:30 p.m. Sept. 7 at the Marbury Center. Funds raised from the reception will benefit the new school. Admission is $50 per person. For information, call 877-0303. SILENT AUCTION OF MATTHEW WHITFORD’S WORKS to benefit Habitat for Humanity, Sept. 5, 5-9 p.m., at Banker Dearing Gallery. Call 823-1060 for more information. STAMP OUT SICKLE CELL ANEMIA WALK-A-THON Sept. 6, 8 a.m., at Riverwalk’s Eighth Street Plaza. Af ter the walk, enjoy ar ts and craf ts, food and live enter tainment. For more information, contact Mary Brown, 733-0188, ex t. 2129.

Benefits

AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL is in need of dog and cat food, cat lit ter and other pet items, as well as monetary donations to help pay for vaccinations. Donations accepted during regular business hours, Tues.Sun., 1-5 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Call 7906836 for information.

SAFE HOMES DOMESTIC VIOLENCE INTERVENTION CENTER hosts its annual fundraising dinner Sept. 24. Keynote speaker is Ronda Rich, author of “What Southern Women Know” and “My Life in the Pits.” For information, call Safe Homes at 736-2499.

SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER BLOOD DRIVES in various locations around the CSRA this month. The blood center is urging people of all blood types to donate in order to combat a blood supply shor tage. For detailed information on locations and times to donate, visit

JAZZ

What’s Your Sound? CK Come Find Out! RO

IVE ALTERNAT

FOLK

Arts in the Heart of Augusta

L

GOSPE COMMUNITY STAGE September 19-21, 2003 www.augustaarts.com

SOUTHERN INDUSTRIES

BLUES

AUGUSTA STATE UNIVERSITY CONTINUING EDUCATION is now offering the following classes: beginning shag, intermediate shag, beginning ballroom, SAT review, stained glass, advanced medical coding par t I, scanner basics, investing for beginners and more. Also, ASU offers online courses. For more information, call 737-1636 or visit www.ced.aug.edu. AIKEN TECH CONTINUING EDUCATION offers the following courses: PCs 101, microsof t cer tified system administrator, health care courses, massage and bodywork therapy, rape aggression defense, South Carolina Childcare training system, real estate courses, defensive driving, driver education, private pilot ground course, motorcycle safety and more. Aiken Tech also offers Education to Go classes online. For more information or to register, call (803) 593-9231, ex t. 1230.

Health WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL offers a number of health programs, including fibromyalgia aquatics, water aerobics, ar thritis aquatics, wheelchair and equipment clinics, people with ar thritis can exercise, theraputic massage, yoga, focus on healing exercise class for breast cancer survivors and more. Call 823-5294 for information. HATHA YOGA with Tess Stephens at the St. Joseph Wellness Center in Daniel Village Plaza. Day time classes held from 10 a.m.-noon Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Evening classes held from 5:30-7:30 p.m. Monday and Wednesday and also 6:30-8:30 p.m. Tuesday and Thursday. Cost is $60 per month for unlimited classes or $10 per class. For more information, contact Tess at 738-2782. FREE HATHA AND KRIYA YOGA CLASSES at Christ Church Unity. Hatha Yoga classes Mondays and

Wednesdays, 9-10:30 a.m.; meditation-focused Kriya Yoga Tuesdays 6-7:30 p.m. Voluntary offerings are accepted. Call 738-2458 for more information.

51 M E

THE MCG BREAST CANCER SUPPORT GROUP meets the T third Thursday of every month at 7 p.m. and provides edu- R cation and suppor t for those with breast cancer. For infor- O mation, call 721-1467. DIET COUNSELING CLASSES for diabetics and those with high cholesterol at CSRA Par tners in Health, 1220 Augusta West Parkway. Free. Call 860-3001 for class schedule. PROJECT LINK COMMUNITY LECTURE SERIES is held the first Tuesday of every month and is sponsored by the MCG Children’s Medical Center. Project Link provides educational resources and guidance for families who have children with developmental delays, disabilities and other specialized health concerns. Free and open to the public; takes place from 6:30-8 p.m. in the main conference room at the Children’s Medical Center. Call 7216838 for information. UNIVERSITY HEALTH CARE SYSTEM COMMUNITY EDUCATION holds workshops, seminars and classes on a variet y of topics: weight and nutrition, women’s health, cancer, diabetes, seniors’ health and more. Suppor t groups and health screenings are also of fered. Call 736-0847 for details. PEACHCARE FOR KIDS AND RIGHT FROM THE START MEDICADE offer free or low-cost health coverage to qualifying families. Coverage includes prenatal care, hospitalization, vaccines, dental and vision care and is available to pregnant women of all ages and to children through age 19. Contact the RSM Project at 729-2086 or 721-5611 for information. YOGA CLASSES at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital are held on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 7-8 a.m. for $45/month or 10:30 a.m.-noon for $55/month. Call 823-6294. FREE HIV/AIDS TESTING every Tuesday from 4-7 p.m. at St. Stephen’s Ministry, 922 Greene Street. Free anonymous testing, pre- and post-test counseling and education. A FREE WOMEN’S HEALTH CLINIC is held from 6-8 p.m. on Tuesdays at the Salvation Army and Welfare Center, 1383 Greene St. Services include Pap smear, breast exam and the diagnosis and treatment of sexually transmit ted diseases. For more info or an appointment, call the St. Vincent dePaul Health Center at 828-3444. W.G. WATSON, M.D., WOMEN’S CENTER CONDUCTS EDUCATION CLASSES at Universit y Hospital. Course topics include Lamaze, breast feeding, parenting and grandparenting. Par tners will learn positive suppor t techniques. There are also programs designed to help older siblings adjust to new family members. Some classes are free, while others require a fee. Registration is required by calling 774-2825.

Kids BABY SAFETY MONTH ACTIVITIES: Grandparents’ Day activities and safety information for grandparents Sept. 7, 6-7:30 p.m. at Babies R Us; Babyfest Sept. 12-19 at Babies R Us with car seat safety check by Safe Kids 2-6 p.m. Sept. 16. For more information or volunteer oppor tunities, call 721-KIDS. ART AT YOUR FINGERTIPS Sept. 6, 10:30-11:30 a.m., at the Friedman Branch Library. Registration required; call 736-6758. SPECIAL STORYTIME WITH JACKIE JOHNS Sept. 10, 10:30 a.m., at the Appleby Branch Library. 736-6244.

S P I R I T S E P T 4 2 0 0 3


FAMILY FUN DAY at the Augusta Museum 52 SEPTEMBER of History Sept. 14, 1-5 p.m. Program features an opening day celebration for the museum’s latest special exhi-

M E bition, “The National Pastime in Black and White: The T Negro Baseball Leagues, 1867-1955.” Admission is free. R 722-8454. O S P I R I T

THE INSTRUMENT PETTING ZOO will be at the Augusta Museum of History Sept. 7, 1-5 p.m. Local musicians and Augusta Symphony members will conduct demonstrations, musical learning activities and mini-concer ts. Admission is $1. For more information, call the Augusta Symphony offices at 826-4705.

S “SNOW WHITE” will be presented by Augusta State E University’s Born To Read Literacy Center and Patchwork P Players Sept. 9, at 9, 10 and 11 a.m. Tickets are $3 per T

person. For information, call 733-7043.

4

SPANISH CLASSES at the Augusta Jewish Community

2 Center Wednesdays, star ting Sept. 10. Grades 1-3 meet 0 from 4-4:45 p.m. and grades 4-6 meet from 5-5:45 p.m. 0 Cost is $95; call 228-3636 to register. 3

“TECHNOLOGY AND TENNIS FOR LIFE” FALL SESSION through MACH Academy will be held through Dec. 18 at May Park Community Center or Fleming Tennis Center. Program includes homework assistance, computer instruction, tennis and fitness instruction, field trips and more. Fee is $50 per month. For information, call 796-5046. GIRLS INCORPORATED OF THE CSRA AFTER-SCHOOL PROGRAM runs through May 21, 2004. Open to girls currently enrolled in kindergar ten through high school. In addition to offering specialized programs, Girls Incorporated offers van pick-up at select schools, neighborhood drop-off, homework room and a hot evening meal. For information, call 733-2512. STORYLAND THEATRE is now taking reservations for the 2003-2004 season: “Sleeping Beauty” Oct. 28-Nov. 1, “The Cour tship of Senorita Florabella” Feb. 24-28 and “Hansel and Gretel” April 13-17. Season tickets for weekday school per formances are $9 per student; season tickets for Saturday family matinees are $10.50 per person. For reservations, call Storyland Theatre at 736-3455 or fa x a request to 736-3349. YOUTH LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT SKILLS PROGRAM for teens ages 12-19 held the third Saturday of the month at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History. Call 724-3576.

WEEKLY STORY SESSIONS at all branch libraries. Visit www.ecgrl.public.lib.ga.us for more information. FIRST SATURDAY STORYTELLING at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum. In addition, there is a tour of the museum. Held 10 a.m.-noon the first Saturday of the month. Call 724-3576.

Seniors MS. SENIOR GEORGIA-CAROLINA PAGEANT will be held Sept. 13, 7 p.m., at ASU’s Per forming Ar ts Theatre. Tickets are $10 and available from the Senior Citizens Council, 826-4480. “REMEMBRANCE: A PROGRAM ON MEMORY, AGING AND ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE” includes a free screening for memory loss and information from medical professionals. Held Sept. 9, 9 a.m.-1 p.m., at The Senior Citizens Council of Greater Augusta and the CSRA. Call 826-4480 for information. SENIOR CITIZENS’ FISH FRY with the Augusta Fire Depar tment Sept. 5, noon-2 p.m., at Engine Company No. 5, 1898 Mar tin Luther King Jr. Blvd. Educational exhibits and community information will also be available. For details, call 821-2909. COMPUTER COURSES: Personal Computers for Seniors, Sept. 8-9; and Internet and E-mail for Seniors, Sept. 15-16 at Aiken Technical College. Classes run 9 a.m.-noon and cost is $50. Call (803) 593-9231, ex t. 1230. SENIOR VOLUNTEERS NEEDED FOR THE NEW VISITOR CENTER AT PHINIZY SWAMP NATURE PARK to greet visitors, hand out literature and sell merchandise. Volunteers are asked to commit one Saturday or Sunday per month, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. or 1-5 p.m. Call 828-2109 for information. FIT 4 EVER LIGHT IMPACT FITNESS CLASS is $25 for 12 tickets for Aiken city residents and $45 for all others. Classes are held at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, 10-11 a.m. Call (803) 642-7631 for information. THE CARE MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT COMPANY, a non-profit organization, provides transpor tation for seniors who live in the 30906 and 30815 zip code area. For a minimal fee, door-to-door shut tles provide safe, clean and

dependable transpor tation 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Appointments must be made 24 hours in advance; call Linda Washington, 733-8771, or leave a message for more information. COMPUTER CLASSES FOR SENIOR CITIZENS Tuesdays and Thursdays, 11 a.m.-1 p.m. at Shiloh Comprehensive Community Center. For more information, call 738-0089. AIKEN PARKS AND RECREATION offers a multitude of programs for senior adults, including bridge clubs, fitness classes, canasta clubs, line dancing, racquetball, ar ts and craf ts, tennis and excursions. For more information, call (803) 642-7631. JUD C. HICKEY CENTER FOR ALZHEIMER’S CARE provides families and caregivers of those with Alzheimer’s disease and dementia a break during the day. Activities and care available at the adult day center, and homecare is available as well. For information, call 738-5039. THE ACADEMY FOR LIFELONG LEARNING offers lectures, courses, field trips, discussion groups and community information seminars on a variety of topics to mature adults. For more information, contact the USC-Aiken Office of Continuing Education at (803) 641-3288. THE SENIOR CITIZENS COUNCIL OF GREATER AUGUSTA AND THE CSRA offers a variety of classes, including ballroom dance, aerobics, quilting, tai chi, Spanish, line dancing, bowling, bridge, computers, drama club/readers theatre and pinochle. For dates and times, phone 826-4480. SENIORNET provides adults age 50 and over education for and access to computer technology. Many different courses are offered. Contact the USC-Aiken Continuing Education Office at (803) 641-3563.

Sports AUGUSTA FENCERS CLUB holds new classes for beginners star ting in September. Youth class for 11-14 year olds meets Tuesdays, 5:30-6:20 p.m., and adult class meets Thursdays, 6-7 p.m. All competitive equipment provided; course fee is $100. Call 722-8878 to register. PYTHON POWER LEAGUE’S SOUTH CAROLINA STATE DRUG-FREE POWERLIFTING CHAMPIONSHIPS Sept. 6 at the Muscle Factory, 4631A Aiken-Augusta Highway in

Nor th Augusta. For more information, contact Tee Meyers at 790-3806 or py thongym@aol.com. FAMILY Y FALL RECREATIONAL GYMNASTICS PROGRAM Oct. 27-Dec. 19. Classes are available for toddlers through teen-agers. For info, call 738-6678. FAMILY Y FREE IN-LINE HOCKEY CLINICS for children and teens throughout September. For specific dates, times and locations, contact Donna Pope, 364-3269, or Winn Crenshaw, 733-1030. TOTAL FITNESS LUNCHTIME classes at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. For ty-minute classes offer a full workout, and full shower and locker-room facilities are available. $15 per month. Call (803) 642-7631. INTRODUCTORY AND DROP-IN CLIMBING Fridays, 5:306:30 p.m., at the Virginia Acres Park Climbing Wall in Aiken. Cost is $5 per session. Call (803) 642-7631 for information. THE AUGUSTA RUGBY CLUB is always looking for new members. Teams available for women and men; no experience necessary. Practice is Tuesday and Thursday nights, 7-9 p.m. at Richmond Academy. For more information, call Don Zuehlke, 495-2043, or e-mail augustar fc@yahoo.com. You may also visit www.augustarugby.org.

Volunteer UNITED HOSPICE OF AUGUSTA is in need of volunteers to suppor t terminally ill patients. Scheduling and training times are flexible. Call Donna Harrell at 650-1522 for information. VOLUNTEERS TRAINING AT THE CUMBEE CENTER TO ASSIST ABUSED PERSONS Monday, Tuesday and Thursday at 6 p.m., Sept. 8-25. Volunteers will help domestic violence and sexual assault victims in a number of ways and must be at least 18 years old, sign a confidentiality agreement and submit to a background check. For more information, contact the volunteer coordinator at (803) 649-0480. THE ARTISTS’ CONSERVATORY THEATRE OF THE CSRA is looking for volunteer board members, actors and production crew. Call 556-9134 or e-mail act@theatermail.net. CAMP LAKESIDE WORKDAY Sept. 6 at Camp Lakeside on

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AUGUSTA MUSEUM OF HISTORY DOCENT TRAINING every Monday in September and October, 9:45 a.m.-noon. Classes begin Sept. 8. Deadline for registration is noon Sept. 5; call 722-8454. MONARCH BUTTERFLY WORKSHOP for those interested in studying the monarch population for a national science project to be held Sept. 6, 8:30 a.m.-3 p.m. at Spirit Creek Educational Forest. Free. Registration required; call 790-2351. ARTS IN THE HEART OF AUGUSTA FESTIVAL is looking for volunteers to sell badges, beer and festival merchandise at this year’s festival, Sept. 19-21 at Augusta Common and Riverwalk. For more information, contact Lisa Bryant, 560-3950, 724-3728 or L_A_Bryant@hotmail.com. SERVICE CORPS OF RETIRED EXECUTIVES (SCORE) provides counseling and mentoring to businesspeople star ting up a new business or expanding an ongoing business. Services are provided free of charge. For more information, call the Augusta office at 793-9998. SOUTHERNCARE HOSPICE SERVICE is currently seeking volunteers to per form a variety of tasks, including relieving caregivers, reading to patients and running errands. Training is included. For additional information, contact Lisa Simpson, (803) 463-9888 or 869-0205. THE SAVANNAH RIVER SITE CITIZENS ADVISORY BOARD is looking for interested Georgia and South Carolina citizens to run for membership in 2004-2005. Board membership requires a 10-15 hour per month time commitment and active par ticipation on one or more issues-based commit tees. Female applicants are especially needed. Call 1-800-249-8155 for a packet. COURT APPOINTED SPECIAL ADVOCATE PROGRAM VOLUNTEER TRAINING: The CASA program is looking for volunteers 21 years of age and older to advocate for abused and neglected children in the juvenile cour t system. Volunteers need no experience and will be provided with specialized training. Call 737-4631.

CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY NEW VOLUNTEER ORIENTATION PROGRAM the third Saturday of every month at the Pet Center, 425 Wood St. Orientation star ts at 11 a.m. Volunteers under 18 years of age must have a parent or guardian present during orientation and while volunteering. Call 261-PETS for information. WORLD HERITAGE FOREIGN EXCHANGE PROGRAM is looking for area families, couples and single parents to host high-school-aged foreign exchange students for a semester or a year in the U.S. For more information, visit www.world-heritage.org or contact Beth Folland, (803) 279-2696 or 1-800-888-9040. THE KITTY ORTIZ DE LEON FOUNDATION needs volunteers to help promote organ donor awareness. For more information, please contact Cassandra Reed at 481-0105 or kodfoundation@aol.com. GOLDEN HARVEST FOOD BANK needs volunteers during the day, from 8:30 a.m.-4 p.m. Monday-Friday, to help sort donated products and assist in their agency shopping area. Help is needed year-round. If you are able to lift 25 pounds, can commit to at least 3-4 hours per month and would like to help fight hunger in the Augusta area, contact Laurie Roper at 736-1199, ext. 208. AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL: New volunteer orientation is scheduled the first Saturday of each month at 1 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Schedule subject to change; call 790-6836 to verify dates and times. SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER is seeking donors to prevent a blood supply shor tage. To donate call 737-4551, 854-1880 or (803) 643-7996.

Meetings CHRONIC PAIN SUPPORT GROUP meets the first Thursday of the month, 10-11:30 a.m., at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital. Open to anyone in the community with a chronic pain condition. Call 823-5294 for details. AARP CHAPTER 266 meets Sept. 9, 2-3 p.m., at The Senior Citizens Council of Greater Augusta and the CSRA. Call 826-4480 for information. CSRA WRITERS meets Sept. 9, 6:30 p.m., at Barnes & Noble Booksellers. Writers in need of a suppor t group

M E T R O

THE CSRA VW CLUB meets every First Friday at Six th and Reynolds Streets, behind the train depot. New Beetles welcomed. For more information, visit www.csravwclub.org.

S P I R I T

THE CHILDREN’S WRITERS GROUP will meet Sept. 8, 6:30 p.m., at Barnes & Noble Booksellers. Anyone interested in writing for children is welcome. For more information, Contact Anne Iverson, 855-9433. “READ IT: ONE COMMUNITY, ONE BOOK” GROUP is reading “To Dance with the White Dog” by Terry Kay and discussion groups meet Sept. 8, noon, at Headquar ters Library; Sept. 11, 4 p.m., at the Maxwell Branch Library; and Sept. 18, 7 p.m., at the Gibbs Library. For info, call Headquar ters Library at 8212600, the Maxwell Branch Library at 793-2020 or the Gibbs Library at 863-1946.

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AUGUSTA BRAIN INJURY SUPPORT GROUP meets the second Thursday of every month, 6 p.m., at Walton West TLC. Brain injury survivors, family members and caregivers are invited to at tend. Call 737-9300 for information. SPARKLING SINGLES FOR THE 50-PLUS GENERATION meets the second Thursday of every month at The Senior Citizens Council of Greater Augusta and the CSRA. Contact Regina Orlosky or Bobbie Olivero at 826-4480 for more information. THE AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF THE AMERICAN SINGLES GOLF ASSOCIATION meets the second Thursday of every month at different area restaurants. The group also holds golf outings and socials. Open to those single, 21 and over and interested in golf. Call (803) 4416741 for information and meeting location. THE GIBBS LIBRARY BOOK DISCUSSION GROUP is reading “Bel Canto” by Ann Patchet t and will meet Sept. 15, 7 p.m. Call 863-1946 for information. GUIDELINES: Public service announcements are listed in this section without charge at the discretion of the editor. Announcements must be received by Monday at noon and will be included as space permits. Send to Events, Metro Spirit, P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914 or fax (706) 733-6663. You may also e-mail listings to rhonda.jones@metrospirit.com or lisa.jordan@metrospirit.com. Listings cannot be taken over the phone.

Matthew Whitford’s “Pious” is one of the drawings included in a silent auction of his works to benefit Habitat for Humanity Sept. 5, 5-9 p.m., at Banker Dearing Gallery.

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53

are invited to at tend and bring eight copies of a manuscript to be critiqued. For more information, contact Lela Turnbull, 738-4114.

“Augusta’s only full service bead store.”

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Lake Thurmond. Volunteers are needed to paint, clean up the camp area and more. Picnic lunch provided. Rain date is Sept. 13. For more information, contact Scot t Rouse, 733-1030 or srouse@thefamilyy.org.

Behind Applebee's on Washington Rd. 651-1147 • www.yayabeads.com Tues-Fri 10-6 • Sat 10-5

Safe Homes of Augusta, Inc. The Domestic Violence Intervention Center presents

Ronda Rich Author of “What Southern Women Know” and ”My Life in the Pits” her story of life on the NASCAR circuit. As keynote speaker at our Annual Dinner

September 24, 2003 • 6:00 pm The Pinnacle Club • Tickets: $40 For information call 736-2499 Sponsored by:

Proctor&Gamble


54 M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 4 2 0 0 3

open late every weekend • slices all day, everyday • first friday with michael and jayson • open till 2am first friday • yard specials $4 miller lite yards - $3 refills, you keep the glass • never a cover for live music • since 1996 • $1.25 miller lite draft special tuesday nights after 7pm • $1.25 killian’s draft special wednesday nights after 7pm • $1.25 bud light draft special thursday nights after 7pm • $2.75 white zinfandel + $2.50 smirnoff ice special sunday all day • open late every weekend • slices all day, everyday • first friday with michael and jayson • open till 2am first friday • yard specials - $4 miller lite yards - $3 refills, you keep the glass • never a cover for live music • since 1996 • $1.25 miller lite draft special tuesday nights after 7pm • $1.25 killian’s draft special wednesday nights after 7pm • $1.25 bud light draft special thursday nights after 7pm • $2.75 white zinfandel + $2.50 smirnoff ice special sunday all day • open late every weekend • slices all day, everyday • first friday with michael and jayson • open till 2am first friday • yard specials - $4 miller lite yards - $3 refills, you keep the glass • never a cover for live music • since 1996 • $1.25 miller lite draft special tuesday nights after 7pm • $1.25 killian’s draft special wednesday nights after 7pm $1.25 bud light draft special thursday nights after 7pm • $2.75 white zinfandel + $2.50 smirnoff ice special sunday all day •

1245 BROAD STREET • AUGUSTA, GA 30901 • 774-0037


Cinema American Wedding (R) — Jim (Jason Biggs) is

going to marry his nerdy, peppy, fresh-faced, relentlessly horny girlfriend Michelle (Alyson Hannigan). This, of course, requires a bachelor par ty (strippers), a meeting of the in-laws and shopping for the wedding dress (a dance-of f at a gay bar), not to mention the catastrophe-bound event itself. "American Wedding" becomes something of a showcase for Seann William Scot t, who gets to strut his stuf f right up to, and then well over, the top. Another saving grace is the presence of Eugene Levy, once again por traying Jim's dad, and Fred Willard, as the father of the bride. All of which might sound like a recommendation, which this most cer tainly is not. But essentially, the thing is harmless. Cast: Jason Biggs, Seann William Scot t, Alyson Hannigan, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Eugene Levy, Fred Willard. Running time: 1 hr., 35 mins. (Salm) ★1/2 Bad Boys II (R) — Vulgar, brazen, crass, violent, stupid, juvenile, loud, long and pointless –"Bad Boys II" is all that, plus a thin slice of enter taining. The scene is Miami. Marcus (Mar tin Lawrence) and par tner Mike (Will Smith) are back as narcs pledged to double duty: to collar nasty crooks, and to tickle the audience with cute bonding humor. They kick of f this par ty by blowing a major drug bust while messing up a Ku Klux Klan rally at the drop site for smuggled dope. Producer Jerry Bruckheimer gives us not story, but the idea of story as gooey plot pizza; not violence, but the idea of violence as car toonish pulp; not style, but the idea of style as shiny pictures for gaping apes; not comedy, but the idea of comedy as compulsive imbecility; not fun, but the idea of fun as a migraine of lavishly cheap jolts. Cast: Will Smith, Mar tin Lawrence, Gabrielle Union, Joe Pantoliano, Jordi Molla. Running time: 2 hrs., 30 mins. (Elliot t) ★ Bruce Almighty (PG-13) — Jim Carrey is Bruce, the goofy features repor ter on a TV station in Buf falo. He aspires to become a "serious" anchor, but af ter blowing his cool on the air, loses his job and has a rif t with his sweet, please-marry-me girlfriend (Jennifer Aniston). There cometh unto Buf falo the Almighty (Morgan Freeman). The Lord loans his powers to Bruce. Time for some payback, some wild stunts, some sexual dazzling of Aniston, some nudges of satire. Like Mel Brooks as Moses in "History of the World, Par t I," Carrey has climbed the comical Mount

Sinai and, like Brooks, he has dropped a tablet on the way down. One of the pieces is "Bruce Almighty." Cast: Jim Carrey, Morgan Freeman, Jennifer Aniston, Philip Baker Hall, Catherine Bell. Running time: 1 hr., 45 mins. (Elliot t) ★★

Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle (PG-13) —

is a dodo begging for ex tinction. Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore and Lucy Liu reprise their 2000 updates on the old TV espionage cuties, again combining macho girl brass and "shake your booty" allure. The plot involves impor tant high-tech rings. The buf f, jived angels race dir t bikes. There is a naughty nuns bit, set to music from "The Sound of Music," and a "Dir ty Dancing" jam of pumpin' rumps. Stupefying is a violent showdown at L.A.'s Grif fith Observatory. This dizzy spree of self-adoring ideas ends with out takes of the cast laughing dementedly, wild with surplus merriment. The term "go, girl" grinds to a halt. Cast: Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz, Lucy Liu, Demi Moore, Bernie Mac, Crispin Glover, Luke Wilson, John Cleese. Running time: 1 hr., 42 mins. (Elliot t) 0 Daddy Day Care (PG) — Looking very much like the engorged warm-up for a future TV sitcom, "Daddy Day Care" stars Eddie Murphy and Jef f Garlin as cereal company promo men who lose their jobs, then star t a home day-care facility. There is an absurdly snooty villain (Anjelica Huston), owner of a posh day-care school. The kids are central casting darlings. The movie, which has a stern warning against sugar-based cereals, is sugared cereal. Cast: Eddie Murphy, Anjelica Huston, Jef f Garlin, Steve Zahn, Regina King. Running time: 1 hr., 35 mins. (Elliot t) ★★

Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star (PG-13) — David Spade stars as Dickie Rober ts, adored as a

child sitcom star in the 1970s, but now slumming it as a 35-year-old parking valet. Desperate to get his showbiz career back, Rober ts is convinced that if he can get an audition with director Rob Reiner, every thing will fall into place. When he does get an audition, Reiner shocks Rober ts by telling him that because of his unusual childhood, Rober ts is not normal enough for the par t. So, what does Rober ts do? He hires a family to give him the childhood he missed out on the first time around. Cast: David Spade, Mary McCormack, Jon Lovitz, Craig Bierke, Alyssa Milano. Finding Nemo (G) — A father clown fish (Alber t

MGM/UA

“Jeepers Creepers 2”

RATINGS

★★★★ — Excellent.

M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 4

Columbia Pictures

Movie Listings

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“The Medallion”

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Brooks) tracks young son Nemo through the Pacific to Sydney, Australia, af ter the small fry is caught and sold for a fish tank. Ellen DeGeneres voices adorable Dory, who is very pret ty and helpful as Marlin's search mate. The humans are alien invaders, big and nearly thoughtless. If "Finding Nemo" is just another of our plex distractions, then it's a giddy bummer, but as a whimsical warning with bite it arrives just in time. Helping to make the seas a lasting realm for real Nemos could be the good, giving backwash of "Finding Nemo." Cast: Alber t Brooks, Ellen DeGeneres, Alexander Gould, Willem Dafoe, Austin Pendleton, Vicki Lewis, Geof frey Rush, Barry Humphries. Running time: 1 hr., 41 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★★ Freaky Friday (PG) — It’s the updated version of the ‘70s film, starring Jamie Lee Cur tis as a frazzled mom and Lindsay Lohan as her rebellious teen-age daughter. The two are constantly arguing and both wish they could be someone else. When their wish comes true and the two end up switching bodies, they have to find a way back to their normal selves – before Mom walks down the aisle again. Cast: Jamie Lee Cur tis, Lindsay Lohan, Mark Harmon, Christina Vidal. Freddy vs. Jason (R) — The two masters of horror find themselves locked in a gory bat tle. An unfortunate group of teens finds that they’re trapped in the middle of the slasher showdown. Cast: Rober t Englund, Ken Kirzinger, Kelly Rowland, Jason Bateman, Jason Rit ter. Hollywood Homicide (PG-13) — As an L.A. cop par tner, rumpled veteran Harrison Ford plays Senior as a leathery grinner who always gets his man, still has a hunter's eye for women and hustles real estate deals while chasing crooks. Josh Har tnet t's Junior is a dead cop's son, but cannot shoot straight, is a veggie and teaches yoga. Junior really wants to be an actor. The antic "plot" is from some kind of slag heap. The main villain is a record producer who doesn't just rip of f black talent, but also murders them. "Hollywood Homicide" reeks from its slumming, cynical exploitation of Hollywood as a junky old tar t, and Ford even cracks a wist ful line, about when the town was glamorous. That must have been back in his days as a carpenter. He should have hammered a nail through this script and mailed it back. Cast: Harrison Ford, Josh Har tnet t, Keith David, Lena Olin, Bruce Greenwood, Lolita Davidovich. Running time: 1 hr., 48 mins. (Elliot t) ★ The Hulk (PG-13) — It's excessive and too long, but with exciting macho blows, it pounds away at machismo. The nerdy, but more than sturdy scientist Bruce Banner (Eric Bana) becomes a plaintive monster, morphed by digital ef fects into a furious green giant. The Hulk doesn't merely leap tall buildings in a single bound. He springs over Wile E. Coyote canyons and falls from the upper atmosphere into San Francisco Bay and turns huge U.S. tanks into twisted toys. "The Hulk" presses on like a Wagner opera of "Fight Club." You can end up pulverized and satisfied, whipped and wowed. Cast: Eric Bana, Jennifer Connelly, Sam Elliot t, Nick Nolte, Josh Lucas, Paul Kersey. Running time: 2 hrs., 15 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★ The Italian Job (PG-13) — If you must remake "The Italian Job," the way to go is demonstrated by F. Gary Gray's highly professional makeover. The 1969 heist was for $4 million in gold in Turin, the new one is for $35 million in gold in Venice. In place of Michael Caine as the top heister, there is Mark Wahlberg. Donald Sutherland appears with his patented aura of suave, cheeky sincerity, yet does not linger. So the crew is planning revenge against icy sociopath and expar tner Steve (Ed Nor ton). Steve has fled to Los Angeles with the loot. "The Italian Job" is the real kick-

★★★— Worthy.

★★ — Mixed.

★ — Poor.

of f of summer and also the best remake since "The Thomas Crown Af fair " got a delicious new lease on life. Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Charlize Theron, Donald Sutherland, Ed Nor ton, Seth Green, Jason Statham, Mos Def. Running time: 1 hr., 51 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★1/2 Jeepers Creepers 2 (R) — In the sequel to 2001’s “Jeepers Creepers,” a busload of high school basketball players, cheerleaders and coaches headed home from the state championships run into a terrifying, flesh-eating creature on a desolate back road. Cast: Jonathan Breck, Ray Wise, Nicki Lynn Aycox, Billy Aaron Brown, Lena Caldwell. Le Divorce (PG-13) — Kate Hudson is Isabel, a maturing young woman, a Californian new to Paris, loving it and mostly loving being mistress to the very French and suave Edgar (Thierry Lhermit te). Alas, James Ivory's film has a nasty divorce at the center. This patchwork barely has a theme, lit tle story arc, but lots of Paris. It can be def t, yet this may be the most air-blown load of spurious Parisian wisdom since "Goodbye Again" in 1961. 1 hr., 57 mins. (Elliot t) ★★

Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde (PG-13) — Reese Witherspoon is so peachy and

pink and perky as Elle Woods, girl lawyer crusading for animal rights in D.C., that you can just about forgive the brazen retouching of elements from "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington," including a clip from the Capra film. Elle even visits, like Jimmy Stewar t before, the Lincoln Memorial. The rather lame "political" plot and sof t gags breeze by thanks to her, Sally Field, Bob Newhar t, Luke Wilson. 1 hr., 35 mins. (Elliot t) ★★

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (PG-13) — Sean Connery's Allan Quatermain is a

former adventurer suf fering from disillusionment and a broken hear t. A mysterious Brit who calls himself "M" finds the physically fit Quatermain in Africa with predictions of impending doom and a request by Queen Victoria to help save the world. An opium-wracked Quatermain is tracked down by the Dracula-inspired character Mina Harker (Peta Wilson), who is introduced a lit tle later in the film, as are Captain Nemo, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and the Invisible Man. One might forgive some of the clunky editing and pasted-together plotlines. Less forgivable is the contrived, bring-on-thesequel ending. Unforgivable and completely baf fling is the dimming of Connery's star-power. Cast: Sean Connery, Naseeruddin Shah, Peta Wilson, Stuar t Townsend and Shane West. Running time: 1 hr., 41 mins. (Wood) ★★ The Matrix: Reloaded (R) — Keanu Reeves is back as Neo, empowered hero. Also, savior of the human race that was inside the cybernetic Matrix, enslaved as "cat tle," but has now fled to a life in an underground city. A blur of sci-fi and head comix cliches and "1984" gone 2003, the movie is overwhelmingly designed, but underwhelmingly imagined. There is the Matrix and the Oracle and the Keymaker and the Architect. Humor is kept minimal, as that could pop the gas balloon. The packaging is cosmic, success inevitable. Success feeds success. "The Matrix Revolutions" is set for Nov. 7. Time for Harry Pot ter and Frodo Baggins to join forces and get mad. Cast: Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss, Hugo Weaving, Jada Pinket t Smith. Running time: 2 hrs., 18 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ The Medallion (PG-13) — In "The Medallion," Jackie Chan stars as Inspector Eddie Yang, who's paired with Interpol to stop a smuggler known as Snakehead (Julian Sands) from get ting a medallion that promises superpowers and immor tality. Yang and

0— Not worthy.

continued on page 56


56 M E T R O S P I R I T

DUI

Free Phone Call

S E P T 4 2 0 0 3

continued from page 55

New Fall Arrivals

William Sussman

———ATTORNEY AT LAW ——— 347 Greene Street • Augusta, Georgia

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Snakehead spend most of the film playing cat and mouse and then square of f to see who's tougher. Claire Forlani plays Chan's love interest, while Lee Evans adds much needed comic relief. Running time: 1 hr., 30 mins. (McCormick) ★ My Boss’s Daughter (PG-13) — When a young man’s tough boss asks him to housesit, it seems to be the per fect oppor tunity for the young man to hook up with the boss’s beautiful daughter, on whom he’s had a longtime crush. But he can’t seem to get her alone, as a strange cast of characters revolve in and out of the house on various personal missions. Cast: Ashton Kutcher, Tara Reid, Carmen Electra, Andy Richter, Molly Shannon. Open Range (R) — Once you are saddled for Kevin Costner's "Open Range," you have to keep riding. It is a wonder ful Western, maybe a great one. At the core of the story is the friendship of small-scale cat tleman Boss (Rober t Duvall) and sidekick Charley (Costner). The action builds inevitably, then bites hard. "Open Range" has the three crucial things that a good Western needs: actors firmly embedded in clear characters with strong motives; the tension of approach to a fated end; the topping gun-down, here a complex death ballet of jumps and jit ters and stunning bursts of firepower (the best, really, since "The Wild Bunch"). 2 hrs., 15 mins. (Eilliot) ★★★★ The Order (R) — A foxy father and renegade priest, played by Heath Ledger, takes it upon himself to investigate a string of murders. His investigation leads him to the Sin Eater, one of an order of clerics who agree to absolve the living of their sins outside the parameters of the church. Longing to have his own sins absolved, the Sin Eater’s presence threatens Ledger’s soul, as well as that of the woman he loves. Cast: Heath Ledger, Shannyn Sossamon, Mark Addy, Benno Furmann, Peter Weller.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (PG-13) — The movie will be a

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shocker for anyone expecting watery gruel ex tracted from a Disneyland-ride base. This "Pirates of the Caribbean" is an original, with clever plot ting, some rapierlike dialogue and a scurvy crew of first-rate second bananas. When the Black Pearl, the invincible pirate ship commanded by the dread Capt. Barbossa (Geof frey Rush) storms Por t Royal and kidnaps Elizabeth (Keira Knightly), the governor's beautiful daughter, what can her secret admirer, the lowly blacksmith Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), do but go af ter her? He's forced to team up with the immensely unreliable Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp). The movie lies becalmed when Depp/Sparrow is absent; when he's on screen, it's a rousing good time. Since he's on screen a good par t of the time, that makes "Pirates of the Caribbean" a rousing good movie. Arrrrr! Cast: Johnny Depp, Geof frey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightly, Jonathan Pryce. Running time: 2 hrs., 14 mins. (Salm) ★★★ Rugrats Go Wild (PG) — It's a synergistic cocktail, bringing together car toon figures from two big Nickelodeon TV shows, "Rugrats" and "The Wild Thornberrys," for a string of gags without a plot. Unless, as plot, you call being stranded on a deser t island that isn't really deser ted an "adventure." This TV promo gizmo and baby sit ter is an awfully small movie, though a Nickelodeon release boasts of $100 million in tie-ins and lists nine major companies. Voice cast: Tim Curry, Michael Bell, Lacey Chaber t, LL Cool J, Bruce Willis. Running time: 1 hr., 24 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Seabiscuit (PG-13) — Charles Howard, acted by Jef f Bridges, is a brawny, self-made man whose success as an auto biz wiz led to personal tragedy, then a healing fancy for horses. Mostly, for Seabiscuit. Two other men also are saviors of Seabiscuit, in turn saved by him. Chris Cooper is trainer Tom Smith, a folksy genius of horse sense; and the scrappy jockey, Johnny "Red" Pollard, a Depression castaway stuck with dud horses and even bare-knuckle boxing, is acted by scrawny but muscular Tobey Maguire. The film piles on glossy contex t, but it finds its legs once the beloved horse turns into a come-from-behind challenger, egged on by the media. As a scrappy fable, this corn pops well, emotionally. Cast: Jef f Bridges, Tobey Maguire, Chris Cooper, William H. Macy, Elizabeth Banks. Running time: 2 hrs., 10 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★

Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas (PG) —

“Sinbad” is an animated adventure, following Sinbad the Sailor as he searches to clear his name for a crime commit ted by Eris, the goddess of Chaos, who has framed him. He’s also out to save pal Proteus the Shapeshif ter. In an ef for t to accomplish his goals, Sinbad sets out into Eris’ realm, meeting and challenging various monsters and serpents along the way. Cast: Brad Pit t, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Joseph Fiennes, Michelle Pfeif fer. Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over (PG) — Now the boyish Juni Cor tez (Daryl Sabara) is a private investigator, the rest of his family away spying, and Juni is pulled into the evil video game empire of the Toymaker (Sylvester Stallone). He must rise through levels, liberate sister Carmen (Alexa Vega) and prove himself as the Guy. Mostly he must sur f through gaudy storms of

computerized ef fects, of ten in 3-D (yes, you wear glasses). There are robots and blue-tongued monsters and frantic chases. For a while, leathery grandpa Ricardo Montalban is liberated by animation from a wheelchair to clank around in a huge metal suit. Montalban is always a kick, but the movie is about as Hispanic as a pinata made in Taiwan. Cast: Daryl Sabara, Alexa Vega, Sylvester Stallone, Ricardo Montalban, Salma Hayek. Running time: 1 hr., 32 mins. (Elliot t) ★1/2 S.W.A.T. (PG-13) — Samuel L. Jackson is Lt. Dan Harrelson, called Hondo, who is can-do to a fanatical degree. He's the only actor of sizable presence. Time for plot! Bring on one-dude fashion layout Olivier Mar tinez as Alex, a French psycho who has killed 24 and bags No. 25 by slit ting the throat of his uncle with a knife "given me by my father." He is called "The Frog." Arrested, the swinish Alex of fers $100 million to anyone who can free him. Within hours, L.A. is crawling with crazies armed with bazookas and other big-time weapons, ready to blow Alex free, demolish subways, escor t him through sewers (yes, one has computerized bats) and land a jet plane on a street bridge. Of course, only Hondo's squad can block this evil and perhaps Francophile scheme. Cast: Samuel L. Jackson, Colin Farrell, Michelle Rodriguez, LL Cool J, Olivier Mar tinez, Josh Charles, Larry Poindex ter. Running time: 1 hr., 57 mins. (Elliot t) ★

Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (PG-13) — Angelina Jolie recycles as Lara Crof t, tracking

down a golden ball that leads to a magical chest that is Pandora's my thic box. Chief villain Ciaran Hinds is a bulging suit who wants to release hellish plagues on the world. The high point goes nowhere but down, a long, gliding jump of f a Hong Kong skyscraper. Many exotic places are visited, each one posing like a theme park. But then the wowzer payof f: a hokey cave with acid pools, and ugly tree monsters fiercely auditioning for "Lord of the Rings: The Final Nonsense." Cast: Angelina Jolie, Gerard Butler, Ciaran Hinds, Djimon Hounsou. Running time: 1 hr., 56 mins. (Elliot t) ★ 2 Fast 2 Furious (PG-13) — The speed par ty "2 Fast 2 Furious" is 2 silly 2 believe and 2 cliched 2 be very enter taining. 2 bad. It stars Paul Walker, back as Brian from the 2001 summer hit "The Fast and the Furious," in which he was an undercover cop and rival, then pal, of mechanic and street racer Dom (Vin Diesel). Walker gets to appear slight nex t to the big rack of torso Tyrese, cast as racer and ex-con Roman Pearce. The set ting is now Miami. The script is a chop-shop quickie with a greasy aroma of "Miami Vice." The car scenes are so heavily edited and accessorized with tech-freak dazzle that even the blasting finish collapses into a string of stunts. This film is just a motorized budget. Cast: Paul Walker, Tyrese, Cole Hauser, Eva Mendes, James Remar. Running time: 1 hr., 44 mins. (Elliot t) ★1/2 Uptown Girls (PG-13) — It took four writers to scribble "Uptown Girls," and they must have split their crayon into four pieces. Brit tany Murphy is Molly, who kicked out of her posh Manhat tan apar tment and, though hardly moving downscale, becomes a rich kid's nanny. The kid is Ray, the packaged mini-princess Dakota Fanning, who seems from a Stepford planet. She may be the most insuf ferable film brat since Kirby Furlong in "Mame." Nanny and brat ty bond with the help of a pink pig, intrusive pop songs and a mutual zeal for inanity. It is just mindless summer fluf f. So, forget taste. 1 hr,. 38 mins. (Elliot t) 0 Wrong Turn (R) — Bad luck befalls Chris (Desmond Harrington) when he sets out on a threehour tour to Raleigh for a job interview. He’s barely star ted down the freeway when an accident up ahead halts traf fic. Taking a windy and isolated dir t road to get around the jam, Chris doesn’t see the SUV full of teens that is stopped in the middle of the road, tires mysteriously blown out. Investigating the accident scene, the group finds a strand of barbed wire stretched across the road — could it be a trap? Cast: Eliza Dushku, Desmond Harrington, Jeremy Sisto, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Lindy Booth. Running time: 1 hr., 50 mins. X2 (PG-13) — At the hub is the dutiful sequel section, laboring to ex tend the fantasy of a human world infiltrated by power ful, feared mutants, which the 2000 film transplanted from its comic-book roots. Then there is the ef fects section, each mutant get ting a chance to show his/her powers. There is the senior section of power ful old men, the creepy wizard Magneto (Ian McKellen) maintaining a duel of Elite British Accents with the paranormal seer Xavier (Patrick Stewar t). And the "check 'em out" section for new or aspiring stars (Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Anna Paquin, Kelly Hu, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, Aaron Stanford). "X2" seems to have been made by and for people who constantly switch between "Star Trek" episodes and James Bond reruns, while hoping for some Hannibal Lecter. Cast: Patrick Stewar t, Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellen, Halle Berry, Brian Cox, Alan Cumming, Famke Janssen, Anna Paquin. Running time: 2 hrs., 5 mins. (Elliot t) ★1/2 —Capsules compiled from movie reviews written by David Elliott, film critic for The San Diego Union-Tribune and other staff writers.


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“The Order” Delves Into Ancient Rites and Ancient Evil By Rhonda Jones

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hat is it about men of the cloth that makes them such compelling characters for dark stories? And they’re so tortured. Perhaps, like Al Pacino’s Godfather, they’ve just seen too much, have nibbled too freely from the Tree of Knowledge. And they’re just so sexy. Meet the newest in Hollywood’s lineup of foxy fathers — Alex Bernier, portrayed by actor Heath Ledger. He’s not having a very good day. There are mysterious murders, a love interest, symbols to decode, a supernatural bad guy called the Sin Eater and, according to one site, a “maelstrom of unimaginable evil.” How the screenwriters imagined it, we don’t know, but that’s what the synopsis says. Of course, the young father has to fight his personal demons along the way and figure out how to save his own soul, but that’s pretty much a gimme. However, according to the movie trailers, the cinematography looks pretty good, with some nice crucifix shots and the whole “hero in black strolling out into the darkness” type imagery. According to yahoo.com, Fox actually had the special effects for the movie redone, because what their original company had done looked too cheesy. So here we have a 2003 summer release when the idea was to release the movie in 1999 with Antonio Banderas as the cuddly cleric. It was also supposed to be called “The Sin Eater.” Now, about eating sin. According to various online sources for movie info, such as yahoo.com, there was, once upon a time, in the dark era of

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early Christianity, an order of priests who, apparently, ate the sins of really bad people. These guys worked outside the church, and basically allowed some pretty evil folks entry into Heaven. Other sources say that sin eaters were poor outcasts who received food that had been in contact with a corpse. Here’s how it worked. Food was placed upon the corpse and anyone who ate it would absorb the sins of the deceased. Huge “ewww” factor there. For the Sin Eater of “The Order,” the job has gone on long enough and he longs for death. But he needs someone to eat his sins and grant him eternal peace. That, presumably, is where the good father comes in. His actor, Australian Heath Ledger, has appeared in “The Four Feathers” in 2002, and in the “Warriors” DVD three-pack this year. In “The Four Feathers,” Ledger portrays a British officer who resigns when he finds out that his regiment will ship out to join in the conflict in the Sudan. His loved ones send him four white feathers to symbolize cowardice. “Warriors” contains “The Patriot,” “A Knight’s Tale” and “Das Boot” (he appears in both “The Patriot” and “A Knight’s Tale”). If you have enjoyed Ledger in these movies, and you enjoy him in “The Order,” then go see “Ned Kelly” in 2004. He will portray the title character, who is the son of an Irish pig thief, exiled in 1843 to the Australian penal colony with his brother Dan. Together with two other outlaws, they formed the Kelly Gang and ran wild for over two years. “The Order” will be released nationwide on Sept. 5. See the Movie Listings and Movie Clock in the Spirit for details.

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David Spade: Nice Guy?

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n television and on the big screen, David Spade is rude, snide, sardonic and truly funny. In real life he is funny as well, and also a pretty nice guy. The former stand-up comic turned “Saturday Night Live” standout is still close with his pals from the show. Another SNL alum, Adam Sandler, serves as executive producer of Spade’s new comedy, “Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star.” Spade co-wrote the clever screenplay and plays the title character, a badly damaged man-child who pays a suburban family to give him the lost childhood he never had because he grew up in the celebrity spotlight. Spade knows something of stardom himself. His blip on the pop culture radar grew larger with his popular “Hollywood Minute” segment on SNL, and Spade costarred with his close friend Chris Farley in several hit comedies in the mid-1990s. Then his TV sitcom, “Just Shoot Me,” shot Spade’s career to an even higher level of success. In New York City to promote “Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star,” the 39-yearold funnyman discusses his new film and his sitcom’s sudden cancellation. Q: What are the former child stars you met making “Dickie Roberts” really like? A: It’s case by case. Some of them, like Erin Moran from “Happy Days,” seem very happy, way happier than me, full of life and bubbly. I’m jealous! But some are kind of bummed. Some are mad. Obviously pride and ego are involved when you’re telling them to come in for a movie that admits that things aren’t working. A lot of them didn’t want to do it. Q: Describe shooting the scene that plays during the end credits, in which many former child stars sing a parody of “We Are the World.” A: It was like “The Day of a Thousand Town Cars.” They’re all coming in and I was thinking, “Well, who’s next? Who’s that?” And, “Oh my God! This one’s happy. This one’s cranky. This one doesn’t want to sing unless you get up in the bleachers with him.” Another one wants Adam Sandler, who was executive producer, to be there at all times. Overall, we had a great time. They were all different. Q: Did test audiences enjoy that scene? A: Yeah. It was always the same thing. Everybody starts to get up at the end and then the song starts and everybody sits back down. The song is a lot of fun, because you walk out of the theater on a funny note with all these crazy people. Everyone seems to be having fun with it.

Q: Was it tricky to write the scenes in which Dickie starts lusting after his fake mom? A: Yeah, that was a little dicey. But the whole “your mom’s hot” thing is always fun. It’s not that weird, because we’re both the same age. The dad is horrible, and it’s clear he’s got to voluntarily go. But it’s also clear that she and I should get together, even though I’m such a weirdo. It wasn’t sleazy. Q: How was your experience working with the child actors? A: They were great, so unaffected. I think today’s child actors are better quality. But the parents! We held auditions, and many of the parents were telling their kids things like, “You’re doing it wrong, go do it again!” And you think, “Forget about the kids; I just don’t want that dad on the set.” We picked the most normal kids that were good. Q: Do you have mixed feelings about children in show business? A: The parents always say how their kids love it. Well, the kids also love candy and money. They also love to play in traffic. They’re kids; you’ve got to stop them. I don’t think I’d put my kid into it, if I had a kid. Q: After doing very well for several years, “Just Shoot Me” was canceled abruptly this season. Would you ever do TV again? A: Yeah, but it has jaded me. If they had a funny idea, I’d do it. I would wish that another show was as much fun, with such great people. But we saw the writing on the wall last summer when we were told to get all new writers and revamp the cast. We did all that, thinking we’ll do another two years. We started filming and it was really funny. Then we were bumped from premiere week. We wanted to just try and finish 24 episodes for syndication. And then, it ended. I didn’t even know it!

59

MOVIE CLOCK REGAL AUGUSTA EXCHANGE 20 Movies Good 9/5 - 9/11 The Order (R) 12:15, 2:45, 5:15, 7:45, 10:15 Dickie Roberts (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:00, 2:20, 4:40, 7:15, 9:50, 12:15; Sun-Thur: 12:00, 2:20, 4:40, 7:15, 9:50 Jeepers Creepers 2 (R) 12:30, 2:15, 3:00, 4:50, 5:35, 7:20, 8:10, 10:10, 10:50 The Italian Job (PG-13) 1:30, 4:15, 7:30, 10:05 My Boss’s Daughter (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:50, 3:00, 5:30, 7:50, 10:05, 12:20; Sun-Thur: 12:50, 3:00, 5:30, 7:50, 10:05 The Medallion (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 1:00, 3:10, 5:25, 7:40, 9:55, 12:15; Sun-Thur: 1:00, 3:10, 5:25, 7:40, 9:55 Le Divorce (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 1:25, 4:05, 6:50, 9:35, 12:20; Sun-Thur: 1:25, 4:05, 6:50, 9:35, 12:15 Uptown Girls (PG-13) 12:35, 3:05, 5:35, 8:05, 10:45 Open Range (R) 12:55, 4:00, 7:10, 10:15 Freddy vs. Jason (R) 12:10, 2:35, 4:55, 7:30, 9:50, 12:15 Freak y Friday (PG) 12:05, 2:25, 4:45, 7:00, 9:15, 11:30 S.W.A.T. (PG-13) 1:20, 4:10, 6:55, 9:40, 12:30 American Wedding (R) 12:20, 2:50, 5:20, 8:00, 10:35 Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (PG-13) 7:35, 10:30 Seabiscuit (PG-13) 12:40, 3:45, 6:45, 9:45 Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over (PG) 12:00, 2:10, 4:20, 6:40, 9:10, 11:20 Bad Boys 2 (R) 12:30, 3:50, 7:05, 10:20 Pirates of the Caribbean (PG-13) 1:05, 4:15, 7:15, 10:25 The League of Ex traordinary Gentlemen (PG13) 12:00, 2:40, 5:10, 7:55, 10:40 Finding Nemo (G) 12:15, 2:45, 5:15 EVANS 12 CINEMAS Movies Good 9/5 - 9/11 The Order (R) Fri-Sun: 2:20, 4:50, 7:10, 9:25; Mon-Thur: 4:50, 7:10, 9:25 Dickie Roberts (PG-13) Fri: 3:10, 5:25, 7:35, 9:40; Sat-Sun: 1:00, 3:10, 5:25, 7:35, 9:40; Mon-Thur: 5:25, 7:35, 9:40 Swimming Pool (R) Fri: 4:20, 7:15, 9:25; SatSun: 1:20, 4:20, 7:15, 9:25; Mon-Thur: 4:20, 7:15, 9:25 Jeepers Creepers 2 (R) Fri: 3:20, 5:40, 7:50, 10:00; Sat-Sun: 1:15, 3:20, 5:40, 7:50, 10:00; Mon-Thur: 5:40, 7:50, 10:00 My Boss’s Daughter (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 3:45, 7:45; Mon-Thur: 7:45 The Medallion (PG-13) Fri: 5:45, 9:45; Sat-Sun: 1:45, 5:45, 9:45; Mon-Thur: 5:45, 9:45 Open Range (R) Fri: 4:00, 7:00, 9:50; Sat-Sun: 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 9:50; Mon-Thur: 4:00, 7:00, 9:50

Uptown Girls (PG-13) Fri: 3:30, 5:30, 7:30, 9:30; Sat-Sun: 1:30, 3:30, 5:30, 7:30, 9:30; Mon-Thur: 5:30, 7:30, 9:30 Freddy vs. Jason (R) Fri-Sun: 2:10, 4:30, 7:35, 9:55; Mon-Thur: 4:30, 7:35, 9:55 Freak y Friday (PG) Fri: 3:05, 5:15, 7:25, 9:35; Sat-Sun: 12:55, 3:05, 5:15, 7:25, 9:35; MonThur: 5:15, 7:25, 9:35 S.W.A.T. (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 2:00, 4:40, 7:40, 10:00; Mon-Thur: 4:40, 7:40, 10:00 Seabiscuit (PG-13) Fri: 4:10, 6:55, 9:35; SatSun: 12:55, 4:10, 6:55, 9:35; Mon-Thur: 4:10, 6:55, 9:35 Pirates of the Caribbean (PG-13) Fri: 4:05, 7:05, 9:50; Sat-Sun: 1:05, 4:05, 7:05, 9:50; Mon-Thur: 4:05, 7:05, 9:50 MASTERS 7 CINEMAS Movies Good 9/5 - 9/11 Jeepers Creepers 2 (R) Fri: 5:15, 7:45, 10:00; Sat-Sun: 2:45, 5:15, 7:45, 10:00; Mon-Thur: 5:15, 8:00 The Medallion (PG-13) Fri: 5:25, 8:15, 10:10; Sat-Sun: 3:25, 5:25, 8:15, 10:10; Mon-Thur: 5:25, 8:15 Freddy vs. Jason (R) Fri: 5:05, 8:05, 10:05; Sat-Sun: 3:05, 5:05, 8:05, 10:05; Mon-Thur: 5:05, 8:05 Freak y Friday (PG) Fri: 5:10, 7:35, 9:55; SatSun: 3:10, 5:10, 7:35, 9:55; Mon-Thur: 5:10, 7:35 S.W.A.T. (PG-13) Fri: 5:00, 7:30, 9:45; Sat-Sun: 2:30, 5:00, 7:30, 9:45; Mon-Thur: 5:00, 7:30 Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over (PG) Fri: 5:20, 8:00, 9:40; Sat-Sun: 3:20, 5:20, 8:00, 9:40; MonThur: 5:20, 7:50 Bad Boys 2 (R) Fri: 4:30, 7:10, 9:50; Sat-Sun: 1:50, 4:30, 7:10, 9:50; Mon-Thur: 5:00, 7:45 REGAL 12 CINEMAS Movies Good 9/5 - 9/11 The Matrix: Reloaded (R) 2:05, 4:55, 7:50 Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas (PG) 2:25, 4:45, 7:20, 9:40 Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle (PG-13) 2:20, 4:40, 7:15, 9:35 Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde (PG13) 2:30, 5:00, 7:25, 9:45 The Hulk (PG-13) 1:55, 4:45, 7:35 Rugrats Go Wild (PG) 2:10, 4:25, 7:10, 9:20 Holly wood Homicide (PG-13) 2:00, 4:30, 7:00, 9:25 2 Fast 2 Furious (PG-13) 2:15, 4:35, 7:05, 9:30 Bruce Almighty (PG-13) 2:35, 5:05, 7:30, 9:50 Daddy Day Care (PG) 2:40, 5:10, 7:40, 9:45 X2 (PG-13) 1:55, 4:50, 7:45 Wrong Turn (R) 2:45, 5:15, 7:50, 9:55

Movie listings are subject to change without notice.

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Music Jane’s Addiction: Still Misfits After All These Years

P

erry Farrell in the White House? The notorious leader of Jane’s Addiction, and the man who co-founded Lollapalooza, kicking it with his boys at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.? Well, yes, although it was with just one boy — his 18-month-old son, Hezron. How the singer of “Been Caught Stealing” and “Idiots Rule” got into the White House is, to paraphrase the title of Jane’s Addiction’s 1988 major-label debut album, surprising, but nothing shocking. “Usually in Washington, D.C., I would hole up in my hotel room,” Farrell said from a recent Florida tour stop, recalling his pre-parenthood tours. “But I made an effort to take my son to see the Lincoln Memorial and the Washington Monument and the White House. So we were standing in front of the White House, looking at it, and this Secret Service guy came up, and said: ‘You’re Perry Farrell, right? Would you like a private tour of the White House?’ And I said: ‘Yeah.’” Farrell (real name: Perry Bernstein) chuckled at the irony. “In the past, if a Secret Service guy would’ve walked up to me, I would’ve freaked out; I would’ve avoided any law enforcement,” said the 43-year-old singer, who is now over the heroin habit that contributed to the demise of Jane’s Addiction in 1991. In fact, the first President Bush was still in office when the band headlined the first Lollapalooza tour that year. In addition to Jane’s, it featured Living Colour, rapper Ice-T, Siouxsie and the Banshees, the Rollins Band, the Butthole Surfers and the fledgling Nine Inch Nails. The first Lollapalooza tour ended acrimoniously, if not prematurely, after Farrell and guitarist Dave Navarro came to blows on stage during a tour stop in Phoenix. The situation was exacerbated by the debilitating drug use of Farrell, Navarro and bassist Eric Avery. (Only drummer Steven Perkins abstained.) “Jane’s had great ideas in 1990 and ‘91, but there was chaos and it was harder to put together,” recalled Perkins, speaking from New York.

“We had so many ideas that we weren’t able to realize.” Lollapalooza continued for another five years before being shelved in 1997. Jane’s Addition reunited the same year, then again in 2001, both times minus Avery. But these tours were essentially exercises in nostalgia, with no new album or songs. Now, Farrell, Navarro, 36, and Perkins, 35, are back (augmented by new bassist Chris Chaney). They’re older, wiser and eager to promote “Strays,” the first new Jane’s Addiction studio album since 1990’s “Ritual de lo Habitual.” And what better way to do that than by resurrecting Lollapalooza? This year’s edition finds Farrell and company heading a bill that includes Audioslave, Incubus, Tool offshoot group A Perfect Circle, hip-hop act Jurassic 5, the Donnas, Rooney, the Mooney Suzuki, the Music, neo-roots-rockers Kings of Leon and more. “Lollapalooza would not be here without Jane’s,” Perkins affirmed. “It took 10 to 13 years to make Jane’s whole again and be able to go into the studio again. It took as long to put the record together as it did Lollapalooza.” As recently as 2001, the chances for a new Jane’s Addiction album looked slim at best. Perkins and Farrell were eager to record new material, and said as much in a San Diego Union-Tribune interview. Not so, Navarro. “I cannot predict the future, even on a good day,” the moody guitarist said at the time, in a separate Union-Tribune interview. “Life takes a lot of different turns, and I won’t make plans based on what I hope for this band.” So what changed Navarro’s mind? “That’s a pretty good question,” said Farrell. “It didn’t happen overnight. It was a series of things. We’d done solo projects, and maybe it wasn’t as much fun as when we got together. We’d done two (reunion) tours in 13 years. We didn’t record, but the tours always went spectacularly well … “I think we came to our senses. From playing live, we realized that, ‘Man, there’s a lot of fire here and the fire will soon dwindle if we don’t have new material.’ I’d say the strongest bit of convincing was seeing the crowd reaction, and

By George Varga

(realizing we were) missing each other. And I think we got a little hit on the head, a little wisdom.” Being (in Perkins and Farrell’s case) married fathers also helped. “Our life changed for the better, in that I have a family, Steve has one and Dave is close to having a family,” Farrell said, referring to Navarro’s pending marriage to Carmen Electra. “Having a family widens your scope on life. It teaches you to slow down and listen to people, and to share and be concerned about things other than yourself. So all those qualities are great when you want to have a team.” Perkins agreed. “It’s so much better now,” said the drummer. “Now we can communicate and go through obstacles as a team and plow through it, look at each other and be happy, as opposed to scattering and not communicating.” The band’s new album is an extension, rather than a re-invention, of the exotic textures and heady mix of hard-rock crunch, funk-inspired polyrhythms and punk bravado that once made Jane’s Addiction seem like the heirs to Led Zeppelin. It was produced by Bob Ezrin,

who oversaw classic albums in the 1970s by Pink Floyd, Peter Gabriel and Alice Cooper, among others. But there is at least one key difference, which can be attributed to what Prince might call a depressing sign of the times. “If there’s any limitation we tried to (apply) this time,” Farrell noted, “it’s to make the music more ‘impactful’ and slightly more abbreviated, because people’s attention spans have shortened. So I figured if we focused more, it would be good.” Added Perkins: “We edit ourselves and cut the fat and get to the point quicker.” He laughed, noting another difference between now and then. “We’re number 1 on the Modern Rock chart now. That chart wasn’t even invented when we broke up in 1991!” the drummer said. “We’re just trying to represent what we felt in 1986. We were into X, the Germs and the Minutemen, and the scene was dominated by hair-metal bands like Guns ‘N’ Roses and Poison. We were misfits and we’re doing the same thing now. To me, it’s like the positive energy we have is being captured even better.”


61 M E T R O

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BY TURNER

S

everal months ago on my monthly radio show, “The Mad Music Asylum,” we played a somewhat obscure STEVE MILLER version of the late SAM COOKE song “You Send Me.” To win a CD, a listener had to know three things — who was singing, what album the song was on and who wrote it. Never a single, Miller’s rendition of the standard, from “Fly Like An Eagle,” isn’t familiar to many. Poor Sam “Mr. Soul” Cooke was killed in 1964, so why should any big classic rock fan know all three answers? I didn’t think many listeners would get ‘em all correct, and neither did my cohost Dale Thomas. Our first nine callers did. Right on the money. Since 1974, Mad Music Asylum listeners never cease to amaze me with their knowledge of rock ‘n’ roll. I’ve been extremely fortunate to have made friends with many of them. It’s these nice folks that made me glad that I gave up most weekends for over half of my life. The pleasure was mine. Last month’s Mad Music Asylum was my final broadcast on WEKL-FM, The Eagle. To be totally frank, the suits at Clear Channel did offer me a whopping one-hour gig every week if I would play songs from their same old, tired and worn-out format, but that was not an acceptable option for me or my listeners. I guess that Clear Channel feels that Augusta just doesn’t hear “Free Bird,” “Layla” and “Stairway To Heaven” quite often enough. Kevin James, the new program director at The Eagle, said that the station’s Sunday night ratings would suffer if the Mad Music Asylum aired only once a month. This is especially surprising since the station announced that they will broadcast all Augusta Lynx Hockey games this season, in addition to their extensive NASCAR coverage. No, James isn’t thrilled with these format moves but it’s out of his hands. Typically, AM news-talk stations are tabbed for this schizophrenic kind of formatting, a common business practice in extremely small rural markets. Is that what Clear Channel thinks Augusta is? Moo loudly if you disagree. As usual, CSRA rockers get shortchanged by decisions made by corporate imports brought into our town with

BY

absolutely no knowledge of our area’s likes and dislikes. It’s a disturbing trend that we’ve witnessed since the death of the much-loved and much-missed stations Channel Z and WRXR-FM, 96 Rock. Both of these stations truly had a local flavor, even going so far (as Joe Stevenson still does weekly on his innovative Sunday night show on 95.1 FM) as occasionally playing music by area musicians. Many stations seem to think that sending a hokey van with flashing lights to the front of a bar constitutes having a “local presence,” but, in the real world, it takes more than just a flashy facade. It’s a Dilbert kind of sad. Pepsi-Kelly Buddy Club Dept. To expand on Metro Spirit columnist Amy Fennell Christian’s excellent piece, “The Rise and Fall of WBBQ,” it’s the people on the air that make the difference as much as the music. Just look at the terrific on-air talent, past and present, that we’ve enjoyed on the air throughout the years — Buddy Carr, Steve York, Charlie Fox, Bob Bolton, Tony Powers, Dick Shannon, Joe Mama and the legendary Harley Drew among them. Each was, and, in some cases thankfully still is, part of Augusta and part of our lives. To their credit, the folks at Beasley Broadcast Group have given many of these major-market type talents a muchdeserved home on their various stations. As with The Eagle, I would like to see Beasley’s oldies station, WGOR, 93.9 FM, add some spice to their shopworn playlist. But at least their on-air talent remains the best in town. What Do You Think? Dept. Now that I’m out of the radio biz again, it’s time to recognize who’s to bless and who’s to blame. Are you happy with the current state of Augusta radio? Do you like/dislike the stations you listen to? Are their formats varied enough or do you feel that most stations just play the same songs over and over? Please e-mail me at metrospirit.com and I’ll post some of your responses in a future column. Until satellite radio becomes the norm (which is coming sooner than you think), we must fight back before your favorite station becomes another WBBQ. One final word to all Augusta stations. Like Frasier Crane, I’m listening.

ED TURNER

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Music

Dashboard Confessional Album Sticks to Familiar Territory By Lisa Jordan

MUSIC MINIS Wanted Singer on the Loose in Georgia Kyle Norman of the group Jagged Edge is on the lam, possibly right here in the Peach State. DeKalb County, Ga., authorities found two guns, 13 pounds of marijuana and approximately $6,000 in his Decatur, Ga., home. He was not there, but seven other men were, and they are now taking a vacation, courtesy of the state. Jagged Edge currently have a single on the Billboard R&B chart – “Walked Outta Heaven.” Spreading Rumors According to sources, Paul McCartney may have become a father-in-law over Labor Day weekend, via daughter Stella McCartney. If that is the case, publisher Alasdhair Willis is the lucky man. She reportedly paid tribute to her mom, Linda McCartney, during the ceremony, and wore a dress that was reminiscent of the one Linda wore when she married Paul in 1969.

Variation on a Theme On the other hand, singer Bobby Brown (Whitney Houston’s husband) got his walking papers Friday, Aug. 29, from a jail in DeKalb, Ga. He had spent a week on the inside, after pleading no contest to possessing less than an ounce of marijuana. He was also speeding, and had no proof of insurance or driver’s license. Move Over Snoop Dogg And make way for Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. He’s a hand puppet. And he is releasing his debut album, “Come Poop With Me.” There are scantily clad poodles on the cover. He is backed by members of the “Late Night” band and enjoys appearances by Conan O’Brien, Adam Sandler and a handful of other entertainers. You can get an autograph if you register on www.triumphtheinsultcomicdog.com. Incidentally, O’Brien’s show is referred to on the Web site as the “Conan O’Donnell Show.” Oops.

COMPILED BY RHONDA JONES Information compiled from online and other music news sources.

Chris Carrabba

I

t’s not hard to see why, at a Dashboard Confessional show, almost everyone in the audience is singing along – even before I’d listened to every song on the band’s latest album, “A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar,” I felt like even I could pre-empt vocalist Chris Carrabba’s lyrics with some singing along of my own. Perhaps it’s because Carrabba writes about what he knows and, on some level, it’s what we know, too. On “A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar,” he captures everything from the hopefulness that buoys young love to the loneliness in being separate from one’s peers – and he manages to do it, thankfully, without becoming bogged down in abstractions. What started out several years ago as the acoustic outlet for Carrabba’s personal fare, differentiated from his previous band, Further Seems Forever, has now evolved into more than a one-man show. Dashboard Confessional is now a four-piece band, and the songs on “A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar” prove it. There is a fullness in almost every track on the album, especially evident in songs like “So Beautiful” and “Hey Girl.” “Hands Down,” a remake of the same song from Dashboard Confessional’s 2001 EP, “So Impossible,” is easily one of the record’s success stories, and a perfect choice for the album opener. Sparse guitar plucking and near-whispered vocals provide the foil for the breakout chorus, a punk-infused bite of

ear candy. Carrabba’s punk pedigree also shines through in songs like “If You Can’t Leave It Be, Might as Well Make It Bleed” and “Am I Missing.” But Carrabba’s also a rocker with heart. “Carry This Picture” and “As Lovers Go” teeter on the syrupy end of the spectrum, and the slow, quiet “Several Ways To Die Trying” could be the signature tune of an emo music box. All of this adds up to a solid album that, not surprisingly, will rope in Dashboard Confessional converts while keeping the group’s fan base intact. Carrabba has noted in several interviews that Dashboard Confessional’s die-hard fans have given him room to experiment musically, and his elation at performing the material from “A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar,” matches the elation of legions of young fans who have finally found something sincere to call their own. “A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar,” released Aug. 12 on Vagrant Records, entered the “Billboard” chart at No. 2 last week. Dashboard Confessional is on tour to support the new album, with pit stops 7 p.m. Sept. 10 at the House of Blues in Myrtle Beach, S.C., and 7:30 p.m. Sept. 11 at the Tabernacle in Atlanta. Tickets for the House of Blues show are $19.99 each and tickets for the Tabernacle show are $20 each. They’re available through TicketMaster, online at www.ticketmaster.com or by phone at 828-7700.

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64 M E T R O S P I R I T

Night Life

S E P T 4 2 0 0 3

(Left) Troubled Hubble (pictured), Fake Red Seth and Diary of December perform Sept. 6 at the Hangnail Gallery. (Right) See Redbelly Sept. 5 at the Red Lion Pub.

Thursday, 4th Adams Nightclub - DJ The Bee’s Knees - Meditate on This! Blind Pig - Randy Carver Jr. and Friends Cafe Du Teau - Bernard Chambers Club Argos - Karaoke Dance Par ty with DJ Joe Steel Coliseum - Karaoke with Travis, Hi-Energy Dance Continuum - Playa*Listic Thursday Cotton Patch - Will McCranie and Friends Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Finish Line Cafe - DJ Fox’s Lair - Karaoke Greene Streets - Karaoke Jeremy’s Nightclub - Live DJ Joe’s Underground - John Michael’s - Mike Swif t Modjeska - DJ Richie Rich Playground - Open Mic Night Red Lion - Paul Arrowood Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Tim Soul Bar - Johnny Irion, Tara Scheyer and the HalfShir t Leroys Stillwater Tap Room - Sibin Surrey Tavern - Park Bench Trio

Friday, 5th Adams Nightclub - DJ Andy’s - Beverly Guitar Watkins Back Roads - DJ

Blind Pig - Big Al and the Heavyweights Gumbo Par ty Borders - Lives of Reily Cafe Du Teau - Bernard Chambers Club Argos - Rocky Horror Midnight Show Coliseum - Sasha Continuum - The Dungeon Family, Marco Polo, Ex tended Family Cotton Patch - Pat Blanchard Band Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads - doubleDrive, Minus Driver, Jemani, 420 Outback D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Eagle’s Nest - Karaoke with DJ MJ Finish Line Cafe - DJ Fox’s Lair - Roger Enevoldsen Greene Streets - Karaoke Hangnail Gallery - Incident Highlander - Lions From Zion Jeremy’s Nightclub - Josh Pierce and Friends Joe’s Underground - Joe Stevenson and Friends Last Call - DJ Richie Rich Luck y Lady’s - Magic Hat Marlboro Station - Lauren Alexander Metro Coffeehouse - First Friday Ar t Opening by Kavan Elliot Michael’s - Mike Swif t Modjeska - DJ Ted For tenberry Ms. Carolyn’s - Live Band Partridge Inn - Jazz Soulstice with Anthony Carpenter Playground - Barroom Olympics The Pourhouse - A Step Up Red Lion - Redbelly

Rio Bomba - Nashali, Ashley, Group Kaos Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Tim The Shack - DJ Chip Soul Bar - Soul Bar Super Stereo Mix, New Ar t Exhibit Stillwater Tap Room - Malcolm Holcombe Surrey Tavern - Playback with Tutu D’Vyne

Saturday, 6th Adams Nightclub - DJ Andy’s - Faded Blues Back Roads - DJ Blind Pig - Shameless Dave and the Miracle Whips Borders - David Firmin Cafe Du Teau - Bernard Chambers Club Argos - Argos Angels Cabaret with Claire Storm, Petite, Sasha, DJ Joe Steel Cotton Patch - Bamboo Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads - Funk Jam D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Finish Line Cafe - DJ, Karaoke Fox’s Lair - Roger Enevoldsen Greene Streets - Karaoke Hangnail Gallery - Troubled Hubble, Fake Red Seth, Diary of December Jeremy’s Nightclub - Smar test Monkeys, Tur tleneck, Backup Plan Joe’s Underground - Joe Stevenson and Friends Last Call - New Day Luck y Lady’s - Magic Hat Marlboro Station - Miss Peg Metro Coffeehouse - Live Af ternoon Bluegrass with

Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Michael’s - Mike Swif t Modjeska - DJ Boriqua Ms. Carolyn’s - Live Band Partridge Inn - Sandy B. and the All-Stars Playground - Barroom Olympics The Pourhouse - Quiet Storm Red Lion - Blind View Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Tim The Shack - DJ Buckwheat Stillwater Tap Room - High Windy Surrey Tavern - Playback with Tutu D’Vyne

Sunday, 7th Adams Nightclub - DJ Cafe Du Teau - The Last Bohemian Quar tet Cotton Patch - John Kolbeck Marlboro Station - Claire Storm Orange Moon - Smooth Jazz Sunday with Emery Bennet t Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Tim The Shack - Karaoke with DJ Joe Steel, Sasha Somewhere in Augusta - Patrick Blanchard

Monday, 8th Blind Pig - Live Music Coliseum - Q.A.F. Continuum - Monday Madness Crossroads - Club Sin Dance Par ty with DJ Mykie G Fox’s Lair - Open Mic Greene Streets - Karaoke Jeremy’s Nightclub - Live DJ


Joe’s Underground - John Michael’s - Mike Swif t Surrey Tavern - Pat Blanchard

Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Tim Somewhere in Augusta - John Kolbeck Soul Bar - Live Jazz Surrey Tavern - Pat Blanchard

Tuesday, 9th Adams Nightclub - DJ Blind Pig - Sabo and the Scorchers Coliseum - Tournament Tuesday D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Fox’s Lair - Open Mic French Market Grille West - Wayne Capps Greene Streets - Karaoke Jeremy’s Nightclub - Live DJ Joe’s Underground - John Metro Coffeehouse - Irish Night with Sibin Michael’s - Mike Swif t Stool Pigeons - Karaoke Surrey Tavern - Tuesday Night Jam Session

Wednesday, 10th Adams Nightclub - DJ Blind Pig - Acoustic Night with David Bryan and Friends Club Argos - DJ Joe Steel Coliseum - Wet ‘n’ Wild Talent Search Continuum - Open Mic Jam Sessions Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Fox’s Lair - Open Mic Greene Streets - Karaoke Jeremy’s Nightclub - Live DJ Joe’s Underground - Michael Baideme Michael’s - Mike Swif t Modjeska - Theology on Tap: Blood, Sugar, Sex, Mystery Playground - Hari-Karaoke with Kap’n Karaoke The Pourhouse - Edmond P. “The Lurch” Kida Red Lion - Live Music

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Buckner - Soul Bar - Sept. 11 Entropy - Soul Bar - Sept. 13 Martin Atkins - Hangnail Gallery - Sept. 14 DJ Roonie G - Last Call - Sept. 19 Snapdragon, Pat Blanchard Band - Soul Bar - Sept. 20 Orchestra Taboga - Modjeska - Sept. 20 Seether - Crossroads - Sept. 25 Jucifer, Deathstar - Soul Bar - Sept. 25 The Hushpuppies - Last Call - Sept. 26 KISStory Rock and Roll Halloween Ball - Jeremy’s Nightclub - Oct. 31

Starship - Wills Park Equestrian Center, Alpharet ta, Ga. - Sept. 4 Pam Tillis - Mable House Amphitheatre, Mableton, Ga. - Sept. 6 Dashboard Confessional - House of Blues, Myr tle Beach, S.C. - Sept. 10; Tabernacle, Atlanta - Sept. 11 Mogwai - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta - Sept. 11 Yo La Tengo - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta - Sept. 12 Aerosmith, Kiss - HiFi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta Sept. 14 Boyd Tinsley - Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre, Charlot te, N.C. - Sept. 16; HiFi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - Sept. 20 Steely Dan - HiFi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - Sept. 19 Crosby, Stills and Nash - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - Sept. 19 Jewel - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - Sept. 20

continued on page 66

Every Night Ladies in Free Mixed Drinks 2 for 1 until 11 $2 Apple Martini Shots

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Friday & Saturday Dance with One of Detroit’s Best DJ’s 3415 Wrightsboro Road Across from Augusta Mall Behind Waffle House tues 9th

fri 5th 1st Friday Art Opening by Kavan Elliot of Atlanta Ladies Late Night Specials (midnight-2am)

Irish Eyes are Smilin’ Live Celtic Music w/ Sibin $2.50 Guinness & Harp Irish Drink Specials

sat 6th

Cocktail Hour Nightly 5-8 pm 1054 broad • downtown (on corner of 11th & Broad) 706-722-6468

wed 10th

The Return of Bluegrass in Broad Daylight w/ Eryn Eubanks & the Fold (2pm-5pm) $5 Bacardi Rumtini Night

mon 8th Monday Night Football Party! $1 PBR/Miller High Life/Bud Light Draught $5 Red Bull & Vodka Pints

Metro Orientation $1 Bud Light Draught $2.50 Jagermeister Shots

thur 11th Deathstar $2.50 Import Draught

Thursday - 4 PARK BENCH TRIO Friday - 5 & Saturday - 6 PLAYBACK THE BAND W/ TUTU D’VYNE Monday - 8 PAT BLANCHARD

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Catch Randy Carver Jr. and Friends Thursday at the Blind Pig. continued from page 65 Erase Errata, Numbers - Echo Lounge, Atlanta Sept. 20 Trace Adkins, Tracy Byrd - Georgia Mountain Fair, Hiawasee, Ga. - Sept. 20 Lucinda Williams, The Jayhawks - Tabernacle, Atlanta - Sept. 24 Ranier Maria, Denali - Echo Lounge, Atlanta - Sept. 26 The String Cheese Incident - Fox Theatre, Atlanta Sept. 26-27 Al Stewart, John Sebastian - Wills Park Equestrian Center, Alpharet ta, Ga. - Sept. 27 Cursive, Blood Brothers - Echo Lounge, Atlanta Sept. 27 Joan Baez - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta - Oct. 4 Ani Difranco - Tabernacle, Atlanta - Oct. 9 The Raveonettes, Stellastarr - Echo Lounge, Atlanta - Oct. 9 The Doors: 21st Century - Chastain Park

Amphitheatre, Atlanta - Oct. 24 Diamond Rio, Mark Wills - Georgia Mountain Fair, Hiawassee, Ga. - Oct. 25 Oak Ridge Boys, Phil Vassar - Georgia Mountain Fair, Hiawassee, Ga. - Nov. 1 Bill Gaither Christmas Homecoming Concert Philips Arena, Atlanta - Dec. 6 Many tickets are available through TicketMaster outlets, by calling 828-7700, or online at www.ticketmaster.com. Tickets may also be available through Tix Online by calling 278-4TIX or online at www.tixonline.com. Night Life listings are subject to change without notice. Deadline for inclusion in Night Life calendar is Tuesday at 4 p.m. Contact Rhonda Jones or Lisa Jordan by calling 738-1142, fa xing 736-0443 or e-mailing to rhonda.jones@metrospirit.com or lisa.jordan@metrospirit.com.


Brezsny's Free Will Astrology key to you receiving a crucial revelation about where you need to go next.

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

I’m not saying you’re depressed, Aries, nor am I predicting you will be. But you are in an astrological phase when you’re more susceptible than usual to that feeling. Having issued that warning, however, let me add that I think being depressed would actually be very good news. It would mean you’re on the verge of a creative breakdown that will inevitably lead to a liberating breakthrough. To be perfectly candid, I hope you do give yourself the luxury of experiencing deflation.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

Researchers with too much time on their hands have calculated that William Shakespeare used 20,140 words in his written works. More than eight percent of those were brand new terms that he dreamed up. Some of the best: besmirch, domineering, dwindle, frugal, gnarled, hobnob, lackluster, madcap, pander, sanctimonious, tranquil, gossip and leapfrog. While we can’t expect you to reach Shakespearian levels in the coming week, the astrological omens do suggest you will have more verbal creativity than you’ve had in many moons. I suggest you speak the truths your heart has never had words for. Assume that your powers of persuasion will be twice as great as usual, and invent at least 20 new words.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

The American Journal of Psychiatry says that many people suffer from delusions of “imagined ugliness.” The technical name for the condition is “body dysmorphic disorder.” It’s typically characterized by an obsession with a physical flaw, or even with an imagined flaw. Judging from my experience, 99 percent of the population has at least a mild version of this pathology. That’s the bad news, Taurus. The good news is that you’re in a perfect astrological phase to break free from its hold. You’re ready to revolutionize your selfimage so thoroughly that you will hereafter see yourself as a perfect specimen of idiosyncratic beauty.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

Your risk for getting Alzheimer’s disease diminishes as you smoke more cigarettes. Air pollution keeps your skin youthful by blocking out the sunlight that would age it. Atomic fallout can help prevent dandruff. So does that mean you should puff on two packs a day, hang out in the smoggiest parts of the earth and hope for the resumption of hydrogen bomb tests in the atmosphere? Of course not. Likewise, Leo, don’t prop up your bad habits and rationalize nasty influences with ass-backwards theories about why they’re good for you.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

“Ninety-six percent of the cosmos puzzles astronomers. The universe is made mostly of dark matter and dark energy, which the experts can’t even detect, let alone study.” When I read that news story on the CNN Web site, I let out a whoop of celebration. Our culture’s equivalents of high priests, the scientists, were flat-out admitting that the subject they know best is mostly a mystery to them. I hope, Gemini, that this will give you the freedom to feel at peace with the enigmas at the core of your personal life. Curiously, your courage to “dwell comfortably in the midst of profound uncertainty” (poet John Keats’ phrase) will be the ACROSS

34 River to the

Ubangi 35 Kitchen set 5 Good rate of speed 40 Eclipse sight 9 Skin 41 “Citizen Kane” actor Everett 14 Atahualpa, for ___ one 42 Entry 15 Eugene O’Neill’s 45 Thessaly peak daughter 46 Calculating sort, 16 Blood line for short? 17 Theater light 49 Law enforcer since 1873 18 Sgts., e.g. 19 Peter and Paul 51 Crowns 53 Contractor’s 20 Rep’s network determination 23 Waist, 56 Swing wildly approximately 58 Where many 24 One leaving Indians live home, perhaps 59 Purpose 27 Time mgrs. 28 Bear to look up 60 Drink with a foamy top to 31 Like a cloudless 61 Force ÷ acceleration night 62 Send out 32 Not flat at all 1 “Go, team!”

New York Times Crossword Puzzle

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

What if I suggested that you can, beyond any doubt, make your unique dream come true, but that it will take years of hard work, periods of deprivation and bouts with frustrating confusion before you succeed? Would you rearrange your priorities in order to pursue that dream with all your ingenuity? Or would you give up on it and go looking for an easier assignment that provided you with more security? During the coming

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE J O A N I D T A G O C T S

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63 Doesn’t ignore 64 Ignore

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question 2 Open, in a way 3 Comes down on 4 More than unpopular 5 Some of them have Handel bars 6 Nuts 7 A party to 8 Belt 9 Pol backer 10 It’s hopeless 11 What smudges may indicate 12 Narrow connector: Abbr. 13 Is down with 21 Skulked 22 School media depts. 25 First name in mysteries 26 Blinkers 29 Tans 30 Certain Miamian 32 Cunning 33 They can be inflated 35 Apothecaries’ weight

weeks, the time will be ripe to go one way or the other.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Promise me that you will never use astrology as an excuse to avoid taking responsibility for your decisions. Always keep in mind that the planets don’t determine your fate. It’s true, however, that analyzing their positions can help you know when and how to clarify your choices. For instance, my reading of the current omens suggests to me that if you continue to let things slide, if you keep postponing action, you’ll fall under the spell of a funky malaise. If, on the other hand, you bolster your commitment to what you love, you’ll not only ward off debilitation — you’ll feel more robust than you have in a long time.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

According to historian Thomas Fleming, in the early part of his career George Washington was a brilliant spy. “He ran espionage rings in Britishheld New York and Philadelphia,” says Fleming. “The man who supposedly could not tell a lie was a genius at disinformation.” Later, of course, Washington became the head of the first United States government, where he conducted himself more straightforwardly. The way I see your life right now, Scorpio, you’re ready to negotiate a transition analogous to the one George Washington made. Is there a situation where you have been a master of stealth and surreptitious strategy? That’s exactly where you should now act with articulate candor and forthright leadership.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

This would be a good time to conduct a midnight ritual in Machu Picchu, the lost city of the Incas in the Andes Mountains. Fate will also smile upon you if you undertake a pilgrimage of healing to Chartres Cathedral in France, or circumnavigate Tibet’s sacred mountain, Mt. Kailash, or seek out a Siberian shaman for a week of fasting, praying and soul retrieval. I suggest, however, that you balance these starry-eyed quests with more down-to-earth spiritual actions. For instance, you might make amends to the person you have treated most unfairly in your life.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

The Museum of Make Believe features artifacts from nursery rhymes, fairy tales and classical

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(1991 hip-hop hit) 37 Sit on, maybe 38 Desperation, of a sort 39 Henry and June’s friend, in a 1990 film 43 Station barriers

44 Part of R.S.V.P. 46 Smooth 47 Cram 48 Strong points 50 Wrapped

cheeses

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Dinesen

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legal decree

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___ & Eddie

connected to an 57 Part of a science course ambulatory

For answers, call 1-900-285-5656, $1.20 a minute; or, with a credit card, 1-800-814-5554. Annual subscriptions are available for the best of Sunday crosswords from the last 50 years: 1-888-7-ACROSS. Online subscriptions: Today's puzzle and more than 2,000 past puzzles, nytimes.com/crosswords ($34.95 a year). Crosswords for young solvers: The Learning Network, nytimes.com/learning/xwords.

literature. Among its treasures are Snow White’s mirror, Jack and Jill’s notorious pail, the baseball mitt from “The Catcher in the Rye” and the tools Geppetto used to create his wooden son Pinocchio. I suggest you draw inspiration from this museum in the coming week, Capricorn. The astrological omens say you will have great success in translating your imaginative ideas into concrete reality. (See the MOMB’s treasures here: www.ruinedeye.com/MOMB/MAKEB.htm.)

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

I fear that you aren’t making yourself sufficiently available. The cosmos is in an increasingly generous mood towards you, but you’ve erected psychic barriers that are preventing the fullness of the blessings from reaching you. Here’s an idea for how to shift the energy: Wrap two empty boxes in festive paper, ribbons and bows. Place them in a prominent place in your home; on your altar if you have one. Then gaze at these packages meditatively for 10 minutes a day, visualizing what gifts you’d like to be inside and rehearsing the feeling of intense gratitude.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

In recent years, a tradition of guerrilla art has broken out in Chicago, New York and Los Angeles. Seattle has become the latest beneficiary of the covert movement to beautify America with free sculptures. The Seattle Times reported that one night unknown creators swooped down on a café in a crime-ridden area, leaving behind a handcrafted table and chairs. On top of the table was a vase filled with flowers. One seat, a metal trunk that opened, contained vintage playing cards and a game. I hope this whets your appetite for benevolent pranks, Pisces. The best way to align yourself with cosmic law right now is to give unpredictable gifts to as many people as possible, even strangers. — © Rob Brezsny You can call Rob Brezsny, day or night, for your Expanded Weekly Horoscope

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News of the

Weird R

esearchers Steven Potter (Georgia Tech) and Guy Ben-Ary (University of Western Australia, Perth) have created a robotic “arm” that makes a painter’s rudimentary brush strokes at Ben-Ary’s lab, directed over the Internet by its “brain” (composed of 50,000 rat neurons in a petri dish) in Potter’s lab, according to a July report from BBC News. According to Potter, the brain is not yet classically “intelligent” but does “adapt” (i.e., experience less chaos) and, thus, strokes more smoothly over time. People Different from Us In August, St. Louis, Mo., school board member Rochell Moore sent Mayor Francis Slay an open letter, criticizing his schoolclosing management reforms and advising him that, because of his obstinacy, she had placed a curse on him. According to a report in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Moore’s curse was modeled after Deuteronomy 28:21, in which Moses told the Israelites what would happen if they strayed from God, e.g., “The Lord shall make the pestilence cleave unto Francis Slay ...” (When a former city comptroller later told reporters he thought Moore had “mental problems,” Moore allegedly threatened to kill him.) More Things to Worry About The 2003 valedictorian of Alcee Fortier Senior High School in New Orleans failed (for the fifth time) the state’s mandatory exit exam, and she cannot graduate until she passes (August). And workers tearing down the reactors at the old Hanford, Wash., nuclear reservation discovered dozens of radioactive nests of mud dauber wasps, but so far no wasp had mutated into a monster (August). And the district attorney of Watauga County, N.C., frustrated at the light sentences judges hand down for methamphetamine producers, announced that he will begin to charge defendants instead (via a recent anti-terrorism law) with manufacturing a “nuclear or chemical weapon” (August).

Cliches Come to Life • New York City’s new 16-page antiterrorist preparedness manual, produced by a consortium of 20 government agencies and released in July, contains such advice as: If you encounter radiation, go outside (if you’re inside a building) or go inside (if you’re outside a building); Do not accept packages from strangers; If you find yourself holding a mysterious substance, put it down. Also offered is the familiar advice from a generation ago: If you can’t get out of a building, “(Duck) under a sturdy table or desk.” • In March, in Lisbon, Ohio, after William Neville, 30, allegedly tried to get intimate with a woman who had taken out a stay-away order against him, police chased the man out of her home, down the street through the Lisbon Cemetery, until he accidentally got caught in a briar patch. • The St. Petersburg Times reported in July that Pinellas County (Fla.) judge Richard Luce was being investigated for losing his temper in May and, thus, becoming unsuited to sentence convicted attempted-murderer Tam Thane Vo. Luce became angry when he surmised that Vo’s mother had raised her hand, middle finger extended, to her forehead in reaction to the verdict, but the mother said she was merely having an adverse reaction to her shampoo. • In Kingsford, Australia, in May, Phyllis Newnham, vying for a larger portion of the estate of her late friend Florence Mather, claimed in court that Mather had made out a subsequent, more generous, superseding will but that one of Ms. Mather’s dogs ate it (and she produced DNA testing to show that the dog had eaten a mangled document, but it was unclear if that was the will). Paying Their Bills the United Way In June, Jacquelyn Allen-MacGregor, 47, a 20-year executive with United Way in East Lansing, Mich., was remorseful after being sentenced to four years in prison for stealing more than $2 million from the agency to buy show horses; said MacGregor, “I do believe that I’m obsessed with horses.” And an independent investigation revealed in August that Mr. Oral Suer, the former CEO of United Way of the Washington, D.C., area, had taken $1.5 million in improper payments during his tenure; among the alleged improprieties was that Suer made several annual gifts to United Way in his own name but then collected bogus expenses from the organization to cover the donations. — Chuck Shepherd ©United Press Syndicate

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y girlfriend, "Cecile," sort of dumped me over a year ago. She never told me she was dumping me. She simply stopped answering my calls. When I tracked her down, she fed me clichés like "You're all I want, but I need time," and "It's not you, it's me." I was taken completely by surprise, but gave her the space she wanted. In time, she contacted me, we went on a few dates and she disappeared again. A few more months went by, and I asked her out. She brushed me off, saying she wasn't interested in dating anyone. Imagine my shock when I stumbled across her personals ad earnestly seeking a man. Why can't people be truthful? All I ever wanted was to have her tell me what went wrong and why. I'm still in love with her and miss her on a daily basis. Any suggestions on how I can get closure? — Still Fred Over Heels "Hi, this is Cecile's voicemail. If this is Fred, I've been kidnapped by Bolivian revolutionaries, and am unlikely to be seen ever again. Anyone else, please leave a message at the tone." BEEEP! "Hi, Cecile, this is Fred. Call me and leave me your number in Bolivia!" The fact that you lack anything even remotely resembling a tunnel doesn't seem to stop you from finding light at the end of it. You have a girlfriend you can't even wave to unless you're getting a strong signal on the tracking device. This alone should tell you something — and not that you need to trade up to better spy technology. Generally speaking, unless

one is pinned under a boulder at the bottom of a ravine, a need to be tracked down is not synonymous with a desire to be found. Granted, your girlfriend could have given you clearer signs that you were no longer welcome in her life — perhaps personalized no-trespassing signs bolted to an eight-foot electrified fence around her home: "Go Away, Fred," "Fred Is Dead," "This Is a Fred-Free Zone" and "FredEating German Shepherd Within." Then again, why go to the trouble for a guy who's sure to respond "Wow, I had no idea she knew another Fred!"? Too bad you're a man, not a motel, or you'd have a clear checkout policy attached to your back in a cheap plastic frame. That might have compelled her to give you a firm departure date, and maybe even fill out a little comment card explaining how you'd better serve her needs. Your problem now isn't that you want custom closure, but that you've made a bargain with the universe that you aren't moving out of Mopesville until you get it. Of course, what really matters isn't why she doesn't want you — just that she doesn't. You might have come to that conclusion a year ago if you'd understood that the truth is, first and foremost, a self-service item. Sweep the facts into a little pile on the floor and stare at them until they look like something; in this case, like a woman who showed you, time and time again, that she wasn't very interested, reliable or ready for a relationship. Err on the side of cross-examining the facts instead of crossing your fingers, and you're less likely to find yourself scrambling for the number of Air Bolivia in the future. © 2003, Amy Alkon

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To respond to ads using a LOOKING FOR MS. RIGHT SWM, 37, 5'9", 180lbs, enjoys biking, sports, travel, dining out. Seeking outgoing, attractive SF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎557954 NEW TO AREA SBM, 5'3", 185lbs, enjoys travel, working out, sports, music, reading. Seeking attractive, outgoing SF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎559583 ARE YOU THE ONE? SBM, 34, 5'10", 170lbs, enjoys bowling, movies, travel, dining out, reading. Seeking positive, active woman to enjoy life with. ☎561078 SUN AND FUN SWM, 43, 5'7", 160lbs, medium build, enjoys reading, movies, dining out, travel, dancing. Seeking SF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎558039 COLLEGE-EDUCATED SWM, 51, 6'1", 193lbs, with blue eyes and a laid-back attitude, seeks a woman with a spontaneous, creative spirit. ☎434997 SEEKING CHRISTIAN WOMAN Friendly, committed, independent SBCM, 43, 5'11", enjoys quiet evenings. Seeking attractive, committed, independent SBCF for friendship, possible LTR. ☎796760 SUMMER FUN SWM, 60, self-employed, enjoys casinos, reading, travel, sports. Seeking SWF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. Serious inquiries only. ☎556936 NEW TO AREA SBM, 30, 5'7", medium build, caramel skin, Gemini, smoker, works in health care field. Seeking BF, 25-35, sure of herself. ☎568136 OUTDOORSMAN SWM, 19, Capricorn, N/S, landscape architect, likes sporting events, movies, fishing, hunting, anything outdoors, seeks SWF, 1825, N/S, similar interests, who is outgoing, likes to have fun. ☎541345 SOMETHING TO ADD? SBM, 42, Gemini, N/S, 6', enjoys going out, romance, seeks SWF, 25-40, N/S, who will have something to add to a relationship. ☎546480 READ ON SWM, 29, Pisces, N/S, 6'3", 235lbs, athletic, likes the outdoors, playing sports, watching sports, going out to eat, watching movies. Seeks SWF, 23-35, N/S, for dating. ☎549310 ONE-IN-A-MILLION SBM, 19, Sagittarius, N/S, 5'9", braids, gray eyes, medium build, likes to have a good time, seeks compatible woman, 18-30. ☎531369 SEEKING FUN SHF SWM, 26, smoker, 5'11", 195lbs, former military, security guard, will be joining police academy, likes to hang out, go to bars, have good time. Seeks SHF, 18-32, for fun, dating. ☎534532 SEEKING NATURALIST SM, 50, 5'11", 163lbs,enjoys travel, fine dining, swimming, the arts. Seeking adventurous, attractive, fit SF, with similar interests, to explore the world with. ☎516833 TAKE ME AS I AM SWM, 31, 5'6", medium build, brown/blue, Gemini, N/S, enjoys movies and more. Seeking SWF, 25-35, N/S, N/D, who enjoys good times, dating, for LTR. ☎341418 NO GAMES HERE SBM, 36, brown/brown, long distance truck driver, Aries, smoker, seeks honest W/HF, 30-36, smoker, who likes to travel and is looking for LTR. ☎509226 THANK YOU VERY MUCH SWM, 25, 5'9", 164lbs, brown/hazel, told he looks like Elvis Presley, Rick Nelson, and one of the Everly Brothers, enjoys fishing, history, art. Seeking WF, 19-26, N/S. ☎508305 SEEKS HONESTY SM, 55, 6', 200lbs, professionally employed, seeks outgoing, fun, sincere lady to share casual times, friendship, fun and maybe something more later on. ☎494413

WELL-ROUNDED MAN Educated DBPM, 41, 5'11", loves reading, working out, the arts, dining out, travel, quiet times. Would like to meet female, 30-45, with similar interests, for fun, friendship, and maybe more. ☎442021 LET'S HOOK UP 34-year-old SBM, 5'9", 180lbs, Aquarius, nurse, bald head, new to area, open-minded, fun-loving, hopeless romantic. Seeking woman who loves to be romanced. ☎849401 A LITTLE TLC DWM, 47, hardworking, secure, seeks SWF, 35-46, who wants a LTR. ☎627154 YOU WIN MY HEART SWM, 44, N/S, seeks clean, sincere, honest, intelligent, wise, crafty SBF, 35-45, N/S, for life mate and deep friendship. ☎611238

MASCULINE AND FIT SWM, 39, Libra, smoker, 5'8", brown/brown, masculine, works out, fit, likes movies, riding bikes, camping, cooking, time at home. Seeks SWM, 30-43, with similar interests. ☎545309 TAKE A CHANCE GWM, 43, 6'2", 195lbs, black brown, seeks other GWM, for fun times and maybe something more. ☎493530 LET'S MEET FOR COFFEE Good-looking GWM, 36, 6', 200lbs, muscular, tan, enjoys working out, yard work, spending time with my dogs. Looking for attractive SM, 32-48, for dating, maybe leading to LTR. ☎436231 SEA OF LOVE SWM, 29, Pisces, smoker, 5'7", 175lbs, swims like a fish, likes water-skiing, bowling, movies, time at home, seeks compatible SWM, 30-40, for LTR. ☎647347 LOOKING FOR LOVE Outgoing, spontaneous, loving, down-to earth SBM, 24, Sagittarius, non-smoker, seeks man, 19-50, to date and enjoy life. ☎602634 LOOKING FOR LOVE GWM, 41, 5'8', 140lbs, Pisces, enjoys fishing, television, wood working, gardening, arts, crafts. Seeking GWM, 25-45, for friendship first, possible LTR. ☎705204 GREAT PERSONALITY SBM, 18, 6'3", 220lbs, masculine build. Seeking SBM, 18-29, very masculine, energetic, fun-loving, to go out for dinners, walks and more. ☎627150 RELAXING AT HOME SBM, 35, Virgo, N/S, likes relaxing at home, fun, concerts, trips going to the beach. Seeks fun, spontaneous SBM, 26-37, N/S. ☎532700 A NEW START Retired, fit, outgoing GWM, 44, enjoys walks, movies, sports, reading. Seeking outgoing GM, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎527836 ARE YOU THE ONE? SWM, 34, 6'1", 195lbs dark blond/blue, goatee, enjoys quiet nights home, going out with friends, travel. Looking for masculine, easygoing SW/HM, 18-38, for casual dates, possible LTR. ☎502698 COULD IT BE YOU AND ME? GWM, 24, enjoys quiet evenings, movies, quiet evenings at home, dining out. Seeking fun, outgoing GM, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎471342 BOY NEXT DOOR SAM, 27, 5'9", 147lbs, Sagittarius, smoker, seeks WM, 25-45, who enjoys fun times and a true friendship. ☎456425

How do you

ME IN A NUTSHELL WM, 18, brown/blue, medium build, looking for fun, outgoing, energetic guy, 18-30, for movies, hanging out, quiet evenings at home, and more. Friends first, maybe becoming serious. ☎425471 LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP Senior SWM seeks sincere, honest SWM, 25-45, to share home and lifestyle. Many interests including gardening, cooking, arts and crafts, travel, camping. ☎294303 ENJOYS ALL THAT LIFE HAS GWM, 40, shaved head, goatee, Pisces, smoker, seeks very special, attractive, strong, fun-loving GBM, 30-50, for dating, possible LTR. ☎257126 YOU CAN MAKE MY DAY Male, 60, Cancer, N/S, seeks a WM, 49-65, N/S, for casual relationship. Why not call me? ☎927707

ENJOYS BOWLING SBF, 32, Gemini, N/S, 5'3", 145lbs, mother of one, enjoys movies, the mall, dining, going out to eat, bowling, quiet times at home, seeks woman, 21-38, for friendship, possible romance. ☎646271 BEAUTIFUL AND FEMININE GWF, 32, 5'7", 135lbs, enjoys reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports, music, movies. Seeking GWF, 25-39, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎329063 © 2003 TPI GROUP

S P I R I T

Calls cost $1.99 per min., Must be 18+.

GIVE ME A TRY GWF, 27, 5'7", 150lbs, brown/blue, enjoys dancing, movies, travel, conversation. Seeking attractive, warm GF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎553580 LOOKING FOR LOVE GBF, 19, enjoys reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports. Seeking GF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎554721 WAITING FOR YOU GWF, 18, 5'4", blonde/blue, enjoys music, movies, animals, travel, dining out. Seeking outgoing, honest GF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎527575 IS IT YOU? SGF, 42, soft stud, loves movies, cuddling, traveling, plays, comedy. Seeking feminine Christian female, compassionate and understanding, with like interests, to share friendship, good times and maybe something more. ☎487095 SEEKING A RELATIONSHIP GBF, 24, enjoys dancing, sports, movies, music, quiet evenings. seeks goal-oriented GPF, 24-33, who knows what she wants. ☎474251 HAVE A GOOD TIME SB mom of two, 35, wishes to spend time, conversations, friendship and life with a great lady. ☎458794 WHY WAIT? SWF, 38, 5'6",140lbs, short brown hair, easygoing, enjoys playing golf, the beach. Seeking feminine female, 20-40, to have fun times and more. ☎448489

See

GOAL ORIENTED Intelligent, happy, attractive SBF, 23, student, seeks similar SBF, 24-40, N/S, for all that life has to offer. ☎411842 LOVES CHILDREN Easygoing, nice SF, 32, looking for someone with the same qualities, 29-39, and a people person. ☎388943 OPEN-MINDED CHIC Broken-hearted GWF, 30, Libra, smoker, seeks woman, 20-45, to mend my heart. Let's not be afraid of who we are. ☎370110 "EVERYONE'S BEST FRIEND" GWF, 26, 5'6", medium build, likes watching movies, bowling, hanging out, malls, phone conversations. Seeking fun-loving, seriousminded GWF, 22-35, medium build, for friendship and possibly more. ☎335046 A REFRESHING CHANGE SWF, 30, Libra, smoker, is hoping to find it in a woman, 25-45. Will show a lot of a affection. ☎307177 FALL FEVER SWPF, 46, 5'6", 129lbs, college graduate, enjoys reading , home movies, camping, country-living, seeks same in SWF, 45-50. ☎965910 LOOKING FOR LOVE SBF, 32, 140lbs, 5'8", down-to-earth, likes clubs, movies, and quiet times. Looking for a female, 30-35, with the same interests. If you're the one, call me. Aiken, South Carolina. ☎113533 I WON'T LET YOU DOWN Single GBF, 32, mother, non-smoker, looking to become acquainted with a laid-back, sensual GBF, who enjoys quiet times, movies. Interested? ☎910581

No

?

Evil

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Classifieds

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Alt. Lifestyles

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Private Investigator

Don’t Miss Friday’s Rocky Horror Picture Show with After Party at The Shack

Mechanics with tools, need conveyor installation experience. Grovetown, GA Call 1-800-856-6936 (09/04#8202)

R AY WILLIAMSON & ASSOCIATES Private Investigations 17 years experience Domestic Relations and Child Custody Cases Licensed and Bonded in Georgia & Carolina 706-854-9672 or 706-854-9678 fa x (09/04#8207)

1923 Walton Way Open Mon-Fri for Happy Hour @ 6:00pm with $1 off everything Every Fri & Sat Garage Party from 9-10 with all well & draft drinks only $1 Wed Blue Party w/ Guest DJ “BJ” Trippin & Rollin Light Show Thu Karaoke Dance Party with DJ Joe Steel Fri Rocky Horror Midnight Show with cast of 16, come early limited seating Sat Argos Angels Cabaret with Claire Storm, Petite, and Sasha $5 Beer Bust

COMING EVENTS

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DJ Chip

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Argos welcomes Gay, Lesbian, Bi, BDSM, Swingers, TVTS & all openminded patrons

Call us @ 481-8829 or email us at ClubArgos@aol.com

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59 People needed to lose weight! All natural, doctor recommended 100% Guaranteed Call for free sample, 706-284-7650 (09/04#8171)

Equipment

Sun

WOLFF TANNING BEDS

Sasha Sundays Her showcast is not just Drag it’s pure talent. Come let us entertain you. Show starts at 12:30am.

(803) 441-0053 425 Carolina Springs Rd North Augusta, SC

Employment Center Manager Join the nation’s premier women’s health organization. Planned Parenthood is looking for an RN or Healthcare Administrator with ex tensive experience in clinic or surgical practice management. Strong leadership and clinic management skills required. Commitment to quality care, customer service and women’s health a must. Competitive salary and benefits. Fa x resume and cover let ter to 404-688-0621, At tention MD, EOE. (09/11#8201)

KARAOKE 19 Disc - Country $110 41 Disc - Variety $199 63 Disc - Variety $249 100 Disc - Country $399 Rental Systems, DJ Services 706-790-3950 (09/04#8192)

Mind, Body & Spirit Full Body Massage! Therapeutic tension relief, intense or tender touch, rela xing music, aromatherapy, by appointment only - $49.00/hr. Call Joy - 706-771-9470 or John - 706-868-5598 (08/28#8182) READINGS BY

Come have fun where the party doesn’t end!

VIRTUAL SENTRY Watch any location from remote sight over phone line or cell. Record activity with hidden cameras. Digital video recorders, cameras, and more. Call 706-564-5819 or 706-564-7714 for more info. (09/11#8195)

MRS. GRAHAM

Religion

4 2 0 0 3

SPECIAL 7 Day Cruise out of Tampa Great Rate $480 pp Call for details at 706-414-9392 cell (09/04#8198)

Wheels

Dead Bodies Wanted

We want your dead junk or scrap car bodies. We tow away and for some we pay. 706/829-2676

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706/798-9060

Metropolitan Community Church of Our Redeemer A Christian Church reaching to all: including Gay, Lesbian, and Transgendered Christians. Meeting at 311 Seventh Street, 11 am and 7 pm each Sunday. 722-6454 MCCAugusta@aol.com www.mccoor.com

Services C A R D R E A D I N G S

Mrs. Graham, Psychic Reader, Advises on all affairs of life, such as love, marriage, and business. She tells your past, present and future. Mrs. Graham does palm, tarot card, and Chakra balancing. She specializes in relationships and reuniting loved ones.

341 S. Belair Rd. Open from 9 a.m. til 9 p.m. Call (706) 733-5851

AUGUSTA HOME MAINTENANCE *Find business to make your Home beautiful! *Home Maintenance business List and get found! augustahomemaintenance.com 706-364-2944 (10/23#8200)

Poor Water Drainage? • French Drains • Gutter Drains • Catch Basins • Erosion Control • Waterproofing • Crawl Space

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AFFORDABLE • CONVIENENT Tan At Home Payments From $25/month FREE Color-Catalog Call Today 1-800-842-1305 (09/04#8131)

Karaoke 8-12 with DJ Joe

Fri, Oct. 17 Billy Dare & The Pumps Fri, Oct. 24 Turnabout, Argos

Managers Needed National Roll-out Fresh Air - Wind Energy The Enzyme Diet Will train 1-888-681-5090 www.ma ximumsuccess.com/aanderson (09/28#8199)

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Club Argos Dance Club & The Tower of Argos Leather Bar Augusta’s Premier Progressive House Dance & Entertainment Zone with DJ Joe Steel.

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